#alhaitham hurt comfort

[dukewrio]

misguided intentions (alhaitham x gn!reader)

-

fuck today. y/n could swear they had never experienced a worse day in their life. everything that could go wrong went wrong, and they spent majority of the day holding back tears. leaving work finally, two hours later than they were scheduled. part of them just wanted to head home and hide under their blanket for the rest of the night. however, they decided to go visit alhaitham, their boyfriend, at his current work: acting as the grand sage.

y/n decided that maybe they could convince alhaitham to head home with them for some much needed quality time. as they walk up to the grand sage’s office they slowly feel the weight of their stress begin to melt off of them in anticipation of seeing their person.

opening the door, y/n sees alhaitham hunched over his desk eyebrows scrunched together. they let themself in, and begin walking towards him.

“hey, i just got off work and i-“ y/n is interrupted by alhaitham raising his hand and looking up toward them.

“y/n, not now. i have a lot of important tasks to deal with, i can’t be bothered.” alhaitham’s tone comes off short. y/n feels all their stress appear back on their shoulders, but even heavier.

“oh… yeah.” y/n mutters and then leaves with a quickness that leaves no room for alhaitham to say anything else. they rush out of the akademiya, tears free flowing from their eyes. unbeknownst to them, rushing past kaveh on his way to see alhaitham as the acting grand sage took his key again. today was thursday, and on thursdays y/n would normally stay at alhaitham’s. however, due to their previous interaction they figured it would be best to go to their apartment instead, as to not bother him anymore.

as y/n walks through the doors of their apartment they only bother to shed their outer layers and shoes, which end up in a heap on the floor, before crashing on their couch and falling asleep.

-two hours later-

y/n awakes to the sound of rustling book pages and the weight of a hand resting and gliding through their hair. fluttering their eyes open, y/n looks up and sees the fluffy grey hair of their boyfriend peeking over the pages of the book he seems engrossed in. as if sensing y/n’s eyes on him, he marks his page and sets the book down meeting their eyes.

“what are you doing here?” y/n’s voice comes out hoarse.

“kaveh came to my office soon after you left and said he saw you crying,” alhaitham frowns. “when i couldn’t find you at home i decided to see if you were here.”

“oh,” y/n pauses. “i-i am okay, you didn’t have to come look for me, i know you are busy.”

“y/n, i shouldn’t have reacted to you that way when you came into my office,” he sighs. “just because my workload explains my actions, doesn’t mean it should excuse them. I am truly sorry.”

alhaitham brushes the hair away from y/n’s face as he waits patiently for a response. y/n’s eyes begin to water as they finally feel the comfort they’ve been craving. sobs escape y/n’s lips, alhaitham is quick to react pulling them into embrace and rubbing their back allowing them to cry.

“i will do better to be here for you, i promise. from here on you won’t have to suffer alone.”

-

a/n: this is definitely a self comfort fic haha, but i thought i would share haha.

[narwedraws]

Comfort ♡

[lovely-rubeum]

affirming word.

your first argument with al haitham is one you are sure you’ll never forget. not because of his piercing words and the cold way he stares back at you, but because of his desperate reassurance. the soft way he held you as apologies were uttered, and the gentle way he cared for every tear you shed.

a/n: waah this is my first fic on this account !! cheers ^^

w/c: ~1.5k

warnings: not proof read (im lazy my bad) mentions of arguments, insecurities. hurt/comfort

al haitham has been in maybe, one relationship before this one, you gather. there’s a certain coarseness to the way he approaches love and being in love with you that bleeds with lack of experience. it is not a slight against him, in fact, you’d consider it the furthest from that. you are honored to have been so cherished by someone who claims to not have time for trivial things. if al haitham is good at one thing, beyond mathematics or research or memorization, it is making you feel like you are not and will never be “trivial” to him. he remembers every date, he recalls every small detail, and he does everything he can, even in his busy schedule to make time for you. because you are the one he chose, and you are beyond his preconceptions about the usefulness and reason for “falling in love,” or other trifling activities.

so, when he calls you just that -- useless and pointless and trivial, it stings. and it stings for more than an hour, after the silence has settled in your shared living space and dinner has gone cold. it stings every time he looks at you, unable to control his cold and calculating frustration. even by the time said frustration is no longer directed at you but at himself for getting caught up -- for the escalation to petty insults rather than progress towards a natural solution. even as you both stand up and say you’re sorry for hurting each other and promise to listen and care. you are still left stinging. you ache all over, even as you lie in bed with him, his warm arms pulling your form close as you both whisper declarations of retreat, compromise, and love. you close your eyes and take in his scent, woody, almost a bit musky and just a twinge reminiscent of a well kept library. you would find solace here, but you cannot help but ache. your eyes sting with salt and self-admonishment as you sleep, feeling as though the two of you are left further apart than you were before.

it’s been several days now. the sounds of the bustling streets and the near silence of the akademia’s halls do nothing to comfort your still stirring heart. you see al haitham every day, you tell him you love him every day (because you do, and you’ll be damned before the aftermath of a finished argument tells you that you do not). he echoes the same, but still you think

trivial? were you nothing but pointless and foolish? did your beloved boyfriend, in times of distress, think of you as the very things he swore not to make you feel you were? it hurts to feel distant from him, but you’re sure he hasn’t noticed. in fact, you think it’s better that he hasn’t noticed. he’s a busy, busy man. and, really, he shouldn't be worried about something as frivolous as the way you feel about a pain that’s passed silently for days. you’ll get over it, because you’ve already talked and you love him and that should be enough.

but you forget, that al haitham, while not a fool, is foolishly in love with you. he is a man that gets what he needs and what he wants and when there are obstacles in his path he devises clear plans to avoid them. the only thing he would readily admit to making mistakes over is you. you and your smile that lights up his entire world, you and the way you care for him and challenge his mind in the most electrifying way. you who holds him as he sinks into the depths of his mind, and you who promises him eternity, irrational as that may be. so when you distance yourself, drowning in your own hurt, al haitham is planning. your wounds are like aching scars on his back. prickling with pain and a reminder of his failing, not to himself, but his failing to provide you with the world as you deserve. he sits in his office, stiff and cautious. what on earth could it be that has sent you away from him? what sort of thorns have coated your heart and how should he cut through them to get to you? 

you don’t think much of it, when you’re called into al haitham’s office today. you expect nothing more than an update about his findings. you’ll walk in, say hello, chat for a time until you realize you’ve veered off course and then you’ll depart with timid “i love you”s and you’ll stare into the silence as you hope for the short moment to lift your heart the way it had before it was wounded. you do not expect to see him staring anxiously at the door as you enter. you do not expect him to run a hand through his pretty gray hair and quietly ask you a question.

“could you lock the door?” you do, but you’re holding your breath. dread floods your veins and you cannot help but feel intimidated as he stands and approaches you. in an attempt to flee from your racing mind and heart, you change the subject.

“hi, dear. did you need something? i should have given you the report from—” you’re silenced by the worried look on his face. it’s a foreign expression, one where his shining, always focused eyes dart around you with a mixture of something like fear and hurt, and one where his built arms hang awkwardly at his sides as he figures out what to say first.

“there’s something wrong,” he starts. your breath hitches and you’re forced to break eye contact. al haitham frowns. “please don’t do that. please look at me.” the plea hurts your chest, but you can’t bring yourself to do just that. you try to wave it off.

“there’s nothing—” but the shake in your voice betrays you. he waits for you to open up. for you to take the first step, because your comfort is his priority, but you can tell with the tension in the air that he will cut through if you do not. al haitham gets what he needs, and what he needs more than life is your happiness. you’re sure of that now, as you look back at his expression, endlessly full of concern for you. you can’t bring yourself to lie anymore. “okay, maybe there is something.”

“may i inquire?” he says it so timidly you’d think he’s another person. you can’t stop yourself from sighing. 

“i just… it’s stupid. i don’t think it’s worth making a big deal. i’ll be over it soon.” the deadpan look on his face says otherwise.

“you have been… apart from your usual self. for longer than three nights. i’m worried about you.” al haitham’s admission is shaking, but resolute. his soothing voice quakes just the slightest bit, but he refuses to back down. you cave at his look, just as you always do.

“i‘m just… still hurt. over what you said, when we argued? i didn’t want you to feel bad since we already moved on from the problem but i keep thinking about it and hearing it in my head. you called me trivial.” al haitham pauses, as if recounting the event. you continue. “i know you probably didn’t mean it, but i can’t help but think that maybe…”

“stop,” he says with a gentleness reserved only for you. he places his hands gently on your shoulders while silently asking for permission in his gaze to pull you close. you nod, and suddenly his hand is patting the back of your head softly, as if you’re the most cherished being in the universe itself.

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” you feel your eyes welling up with tears as he holds you close and admits fault. he pulls away slightly, but only to dry your tears with his thumb.

“you are everything to me. and it was only foolish of me to have allowed things to progress to this point. i would move mountains and slay the worst of foes just to see you happy. i have taken away part of your smile, even for a second. and for that i am so sorry.”

there is a tenderness in his eyes. you couldn’t imagine a more beautiful expression if you tried, and it is then that you realize he is not used to wearing this expression. he is clumsy in the way he squeezes you, and although he is intelligent, he is also inept in maintaining his usual aloofness as he reassures you that you will never be a waste of his time. it is then too, that you notice the fear squandering his composure as he promises to love you for what may be the millionth time.

you relax and while you cry in his arms, you allow al haitham’s affirming word into your heart, never to be shaken again.

[stxneflxwers]

a/n: random comfort w alhaitham cuz i'm depressed. it's 10:30pm. :( also there's NOT ENOUGH alhaitham comfort out there!!

alhaitham knows when actions or words are for the best in a specific moment - he's much more emotionally perceptive than most give him credit for. it's more so that he doesn't care to baby or pamper people when they let their emotions get the better of them and their good reasoning.

but - with you - he's willing to baby, to pamper, to love on you until you feel better. he's not the best with any kind of affection, but he's learning with little steps. and you're the perfect test subject.

his touches, his words are fleeting but oh so understanding - even if it's from a place of long-time logical observation. you still appreciate how much effort he's putting into easing your sobs and woes.

he's most certainly more of a listener in times like these. regardless of his awkward touches that run along your back and shoulders, regardless of his prying questions - he does much more listening than anything else.

eternally grateful yet worn out, you cuddle into him. he gladly holds you - now and any other day, upset or not. he'll take you to his bedroom, he thinks it's high time for a nap for both of you.

[eneriology]

people who destroy themselves for their art

[silversnowblossom]

I think what really gets me about kaveh's character story 5 is that a lot of people seem to think that alhaitham is cold. but like, the fallout of their friendship happened because he cared too much. because alhaitham was worried about kaveh and the self-destructive pursuit of his ideals/spiral he was trapped in thanks to his guilt, realized that this idealism would cause problems for kaveh in the future, and tried to warn him about it. and kaveh didn't take it well.

and yeah, he was probably too blunt about it as usual, but i'm sure kaveh telling him that he regretted ever being friends with him (considering they were best friends - also, that confirmation from mhy that is canon is great - and kaveh is likely alhaitham's first friend) must've deeply hurt alhaitham. because yeah, he's intelligent and rational and doesn't outwardly emote much when he's not arguing with kaveh, but he's still human. he still has feelings. and it's kaveh that crossed the line and destroyed what they had between them (which i'm sure he'd regretted later, something that probably only added to the immense guilt plageuing him). we all knew that whatever happened between them had to have been explosive, given the hints from alhaitham's character stories, but ouch.

honestly, poor alhaitham. and poor kaveh. </3

just. mhy really went all-in on the angst with kaveh's character stories, and it's delicious. absolutely adore what they did here

[makelemonade]

Happy Birthday!

Relations: Ayato, Albedo, Alhaitham, Aether, Childe, Cyno, Scaramouche/Wanderer x Gender Neutral Reader (separate obv )

Warnings: uhm slight angst, swearing, too much fluff ew (aw), forgetting abt ur birthday (literally all of them do)

support me on kofi!! link is on master list (pinned post)

Ayato:

-I’ll be so fucking supercalfraglicious rn, that man won’t even be able to spend it with you.

-Yoimiya and Ayaka def bet 10$ he forgets acc

-but because I’m SUCH a sucker for angst to fluff

-In the morning, he won’t even know what day it is. He’ll be to tired to comprehend anything. He’s not a morning person in the slightest

-He does wake up before you though due to the work, so you’ll still be asleep while he greats ready and gives ur forehead a lil smooch before he heads out to do any tasks or duties

-you’ll wake up upset to see NO GIFT LIKE WTF

-richest man in Inazuma CANT even get u anything ?!

-maybe he left it for thoma so he can give it to you when you wake up!!

-when you go eat breakfast, ur eyes light up to see thoma holding a gift but slightly dim when it’s none other than his and not your beloveds.

-nonetheless your happy you got a gift !!

-it’ll be a few hours and STILL no gift. Thoma tells you with a sad dog pout face that Ayato did forget

-so you actually spend the day with him!!! thoma >>>>>

-your back in the evening, signs of daylight all gone as night was to hit

-when ur back you fully come to terms Ayato did forget about your birthday because he didn’t even wish you a happy bday :)

-you walk past him sitting on the bed with a few bags of stuff you liked that Thoma bought as another gift and Ayato looked at you confused

“Who bought you all of that?” He asked, sitting up and setting a few work files down on the bed.

“Thoma.” You answered, not even sparing him a glance.

“Confusion grew more along with a tinge of jealousy. “What was the occasion?”

“My birthday.”

-I’m telling u rn any type of emotion DROPS

-he lowkey might start crying

-hell ask u to sit on the bed and apologize for everything and like just kiss u all over and if ur still mad he’ll understand but like god knows you can’t stay mad at him

-he acc takes u on a shopping spree the next day and tasks Thoma with inviting all of your friends so when you get back to the estate, it’s none other than a surprise party!!

Albedo

-HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAY A BIRTHDAY IS

-thankfully you explained it to him a few weeks before your birthday and even if he isnt human, he’d like to partake in it

-but he’s never done this before so he has to seek out Kaeya for them

-he went to Klee first but decided It wasn’t best to give you a bomb for your birthday

-Kaeya tells him all type of gift ideas and Albedo acc saves up a bunch of his money to buy you all your favourite stuff

-he’s so cute

-he tries to bake a cake

-key word tried

-his cake became demolished like alchemy couldn’t even fix it

-it was adorable though and you thanked him for everything. he forgot about work the whole day just for you :)

Alhaitham

-i cant decide if he forgets or is just too busy to spend it with you

-I think he’ll forget to call off work on the day of your birthday and won’t be able to spend it with you

-like he remembers your birthday but his slow ass just couldn’t remember to call off work

-he does have a present ready for you though! and a long message he sent to your Akasha while he was at work

-he actually did come home early just for you

-insert him twirling you around omfjwknfkwjdjwdjjed

-so if u decide to go out, he’ll take you to a very fancy and expensive restaurant and give u ur gift there

-if u decide to stay in he’ll bake a cake from scratch with you (those cute movie scenes where there’s like flour on both of ur faces)

-and then end the night watching a movie and falling asleep or birthday fuck, ur choice

Aether

-THIS MAN DOES NOT FORGET

-he’s just too busy he can’t spend the whole day with you

-BUT he takes you on commissions with him!!

-big mistake

-so u end up getting hurt and he has to take you to the nearest like hospital or whatever they have in that world

-he’ll probably just cry out of guilt because it’s ur birthday and part of his gift was that you practically almost die

-memorable birthday in my opinion

-birthday scar !!!

-he gives paimon a bunch of mora so she can go buy food and you both end up spending your birthday in the hospital

-hey at least he’s with you !!

-he acc crawls in the hospital bed beside you and your both just cuddling

-paimon is in the corner btw making sure y’all don’t do shit if ykyk

-once ur all better, he makes sure to take you out to dinner and get you an even better gift <3

Childe

-he forgets.

-not changing my mind.

-like I feel like ekaterina will have to remind him

“How is Y/N’a birthday so far?”

-insert jaw drop, shock face, eyes wide

-he will BURST out the bank and run straight to your shared home

-now you’ll be sad but like ur choice if u wanna cry or be mad

-if ur crying on the bed he’ll sit beside you and start kissing u all over ur face and saying he’s sorry and sorry all over again while whispering endearments

-if ur mad he’ll let himself be a punching bag

-he ENCOURAGES u to slap him but you only punch him playfully

-he’ll take you out and get you the most EXPENSIVE jewelry like literal fucking diamonds

-if u even want u can spend it with Zhongli too

-he just wants to make sure you have the best day just minus the fact he literally forgot

-he’ll take u in a trio to Snezhnaya or anywhere in the world just for you to forgive him

Cyno

-ladies and gents and my non-binary friends….

-he doesn’t forget!!!

-he acc has it all planned out- where you wanna celebrate is your decision

-if you wanna adventure around? Go for it! He’ll be with you and protect you from any monsters

-you wanna stay in? he’ll buy every movie you love and you’ll do a movie spree

-u wanna party ? Even on short notice he’ll Invite everyone hours before and youll all be having fun in the bazaar

-nonetheless he just wants you to have fun- it’s your day after all

-he has a lot of money, he just didn’t know what to get you, so if there’s any free time he’ll let you go around and buy whatever you want

-at the end of the day he’ll cuddle up to you and omg HE’LL LIKE whisper the happy birthday song to you as you drift off to sleep and idk why but that’s so cute to me

Scaramouche/Wanderer

-guys I’m just gonna say Scaramouche cuz for this he’s still working for Fatui but he is very ooc and soft (wanderer personality kinda)

-so sorry friends but the man literally doesn’t even know it’s your birthday month

-I think Childe will remind him by asking how your bday day is so far and Scaramouche will be like fuck

-Childe will def kaugh at him for forgetting but out of kindness he’ll tell Scaramouche what to do

-Scaramouche will race home and he’ll kiss u and shit hug u and apologize while saying he’ll do anything to make it up to you

-ANYTHING.

-you guys are in Snezhnaya and there’s not much to do but you decide to go ice skating !!

-you’ll have to teach him cuz he can’t skate for life

-he’ll encourage you to just take his mora or card or wtv and buy whatever you want cuz like

-he’s loaded

-you just decide to go buy some food aka hot chocolate to warm up. Maybe some snacks if you wanna watch movies that night

-he does buy you a cake though so when your home he can light it up

-he’ll sing the bday song while hugging you from behind and when it comes to your age he’ll blow out the candles with you then kiss u on the cheek

-UGH

[windwheeler-aster]

valentine’s absence

summary: even though you and your partner planned a romantic day, you find a letter that tells you there’s been a “slight” change in plans

masterlist

pairings (separate): thoma, ayato, cyno, alhaitham, yoimiya, yelan, lisa, and shenhe x reader

reader info: uses gender neutral pronouns (they/them)

word count: 255~ words per section (1 and a half minutes~)

genre: romance, (slight) hurt/comfort

format: one shots (letters)

warnings: slightly suggestive, character can’t make it to valentine’s date

a/n: idk why of all things i wrote this. i liked it though, so i hope you do too :) happy valentine’s day, even if you’re all alone like me! we deserve love just as much as those icky couples you see in public. gross. anyway, enjoy this💖

To My Sweetheart,

Happy Valentine’s Day, honey! 

I’m so incredibly sorry that I can’t spend the whole day with you. The Kamisatos have tasked me with delivering some things around Inazuma to some friends and business partners of theirs. Ayato said it’s to keep up business relationships. But you and I both know that the people of Inazuma won’t see it that way. I can already hear the gossiping citizens following after the two siblings when they go into town. 

But, the good news is that you’ll have me all to yourself when I get off from work! 

I was thinking we could get dressed up and head out to a nice restaurant. Maybe Kiminami Restaurant? I heard they have a sweet deal for couples for Valentine’s. Or maybe you’d like to go to Komore Teahouse…? I don’t mind sticking with something familiar, but I just want to do something different for today. But don’t worry. Whatever you choose, I don’t mind! I just want to make you feel special, baby.

And, I heard Naganohara Fireworks was doing a special light show for tonight. I was thinking that after dinner, we could take a nice stroll through town. We could watch all the beautiful lights and fireworks! Though, I don’t think their beauty could ever compare to yours.

Again, I do hope you’ll forgive me for not being there for the whole day. Please take care of yourself while I’m gone. We’ll definitely talk more when I get home and decide what’s best, okay? 

See you later tonight, babe.

Sincerely yours,

Thoma

My Darling,

I write to you to apologize. It seems that there was an oversight and I was scheduled to have a meeting with some business partners today. Trust me, darling, this is as frustrating to me as it is to you. I had specifically cleared my schedule of all work and meetings for this day, and yet I still managed to forget something. Please accept my sincere apology. 

Fortunately, it is only one meeting. One surely long, very boring, and pointless meeting. Ugh. I swear, these business officials get something out of ruining my days. As I’m writing this, I already feel a headache coming on.

I should be out by the time it is midday. By then, I’ll fetch you from our chambers myself. It’s not… necessary, per se, for you to be dressed by then. You know I’m more than happy to help you get dressed for the day. I actually have a few items I’d like you to try on, but that can wait for a later time.

I was thinking we could go for a nice stroll on the trail behind the estate, or maybe even venture into Chinju Forest? I know it’s a little spooky, but I think it would be quite tranquil. And, I wanted to bring along a nice picnic for us. We never get to sit down and enjoy our time together, do we?

That’s all I had planned for this special day, but I’m more than willing for other suggestions. You are my heart, my love, and my life. Wherever you want to go to, or whatever you want to do, I will follow wholeheartedly and without question. 

Forever yours,

Ayato Kamisato

Hey Babe,

There’s some trouble in the Akademiya and I’ve been called in to handle the situation. Can’t give you many details right now, the situation is still happening as I write. All I know is that there’s some senseless argument between some scholars. Again.

I should be back by supper time, at least. Please be ready by the time I’m back. We have a reservation at Lambad’s Tavern that I’d rather not be late to.

I know I seem curt and cold in this letter, but please understand that my anger is not directed at you. I had a very romantic morning planned for us where I could wake you up with your favorite breakfast. I was going to show you a photo album I had made of us, but sadly I cannot be there to witness your reactions. It’s on my bedside table, the book with a red leather cover. I know it’s not too thick, but I promise you that by next year it will have tripled in volume with the amount of memories we will have made.

I love you with every fiber of my being. I love how your reactions to my jokes, as it always encourages me to find even more. I actually have a few for you that I made myself, but they can wait for our dinner. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, babe.

Sincerely,

Cyno

Dear Love,

You know that I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day. To me, it’s all a bunch of marketing and advertising for some pointless and ingenuine romance. The holiday itself leaves a sour taste in my mouth, like some of the cheaper chocolates you get on this stupid holiday. However, after a change of heart, I think I can tolerate this holiday in honor of you, my love.

We both know that I’m not a huge romantic. Despite being a scholar and the Scribe for the Akademiya, words seem to fail me. I don’t know how to compliment you like a flowery poet or bard. Giving compliments and praise is a new experience for me, so please be patient with me. Though, I know you find it amusing when I turn cherry red as I try to maintain eye contact and compliment you. Which is very difficult, by the way.

However, I’m better with actions. Which is why you’ll find yourself alone this morning, as I’ve left a trail of sentimental clues for you to follow. At the end of memory lane, you’ll find me, your beloved. Not an exciting prize, I know, but I thought that it could be a fun experience for you.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my love. I hope you have fun, and I hope to see you soon.

Forever and always yours,

Haitham

Good morning, my sunshine!

So, there’s a slight change of plans for the day. 

I know we wanted to spend the day together in each other’s embrace, doing a lot of lovey dovey and coupley stuff. But, due to some faulty fireworks, I’ve gotta be in the firework shop trying to fix it. I think my dad accidentally spilt something over them, but I’m not sure yet.

But, that doesn’t mean the day is totally ruined! I was thinking that sometime in the midday you could come over? That way we could at least grab some lunch and still have some romance! Or maybe we could do some shopping? I saw this really cute set of matching bracelets the other day and immediately thought of us. Only if you want to, of course! I’m fine with whatever you want to do!

Listen, I know it doesn’t make up for the disappointment. If it means anything, I’m pretty sad that I can’t spend the whole day with you too. I just wanted to spend the whole morning cuddling with you! And then we could have made breakfast together. I bought some cute aprons and everything! Ugh, silly fireworks…

Anyway, I hope to see you on my break, sunshine. I’m more than willing to do anything to make it up to you, so feel free to suggest something else we can do! Within reason of course. My dad’s hard of hearing, but not deaf, hun. 

Hugs and kisses,

Yoimiya

P.S. - I love you!

To My Darling Dearest,

I screwed up. 

I know today we had big plans to bask in the romantic and lovey dovey atmosphere, both of us making sure we have the day off to celebrate. I even got you a lovely gift and flowers and— ugh, I’m sorry, my love.

Something came up with work, as always. I can’t say much now, given the nature of my work, but I will let you know that there’s been a major break in our case. My informants and I think we’ll be able to gather enough evidence on our current “client” whilst he’s out with his sweetheart. It’s a long shot, for sure, but I’ll pull it off. I always do, love.

But in regards to our romantic day together, do you think we could reschedule? I know that this is very upsetting— or it is to me, at least— so I understand if you’re frustrated with me. I just ask you that your anger doesn’t sour and turn into resentment against me. Please understand that I love you more than my work itself. Coming home to you is a home in itself, your sweet greeting and soft kisses being the welcome mat. I’ve never felt more comfortable than I am with you, whether it be cuddling in bed or simply cooking together in the kitchen. I love you oh so much, my darling dearest. Please don’t ever forget that.

So, I ask you to think of ways for me to redeem myself. I’ll do nearly anything for you dear… alright?

Yours forever,

Yelan

Hey cutie,

You may have noticed that I’m not by your side this morning. 

But don’t panic, I’m alright. The knights didn’t schedule me for patrol or anything else like that. I’m just in the library for this morning, as I was asked to cover a shift at the last minute. Ugh. The things I do for these people…

In better news, I’m actually preparing your Valentine’s day gift as you read this. Now, now, don’t get too excited. It’s not as extravagant or wonderful as you imagine, but it is something simple yet heartfelt. Nothing as lovely as your gift to me, I imagine. You did get me a gift, right…?

No bother. Gift or no gift, I love you regardless, cutie. You’re one of the most interesting people I’ve met throughout my life, adding a new flavor to my life amongst stern knights and boring scholars. You always know how to console me after a crappy day at work, and I am forever grateful for that. When you help me with work, even the small things like book returns, it makes me fall in love with you all over again. My special little helper, haha.

I’ll drop by the house by midday. If you wouldn’t mind preparing some food, I would love to take you out for a picnic. I always find the cliffs around Mondstadt to be especially romantic. And, more importantly, scheduled.

I’ll see you later today, love.

Xoxo,

Lisa

To My Love,

I’m writing to you because I am worried.

This is my first Valentine’s with a partner. You already are familiar with my… lack of experience, when it comes to romance. Even when I suppress my stronger urges— the other ones, dear— thinking about you can make my passive and docile personality break. Cloud Retainer teases me that I turn pink and “smile like an idiot in love.” I think she’s just jealous. 

But to keep on topic, I’m worried that I’ll ruin this romantic day for us. I know we made plans to do some hiking around the cliffs of Liyue and then have a picnic, but do you want that? You already know that I find traditional romantic traditions on this day strange, but I never thought to ask you if you wanted to do that instead.

I really appreciate you being understanding and accommodating to me, but I want to give you something too. So, I was thinking that we could just walk down to the streets of Liyue and… do some shopping, maybe? Last time I was there, I saw some nice jewelry that would look really pretty on you. Oh, and there were some nice smelling pastries in the shop one over! You’re sweet and you like sweet things, right? Maybe we should go get some goodies and candies instead of eating the herb-central dishes I made for the picnic…

We’ll talk more once we see each other. But I want to do something you want to do, too. Not just because I wanted to, but because it was your idea. I really value your opinion and suggestions, darling. So don’t hold back, alright?

Your love,

Shenhe

thank you for reading 💖 all forms of interaction to my posts are appreciated 💖

[generalsdiary]

I'm here.

Alhaitham x Kaveh

warnings: mentions of disassociation, blood, cursing, nudity (?)

word count: 3.4k~

a/n: written in a 3rd person pov w/ a focus on alhaitham and his thoughts – i preferred this approach much more than 1st person pov, much more can be said and added with the way i wrote it. there’s a switch in the middle for a few paragraphs to kaveh’s pov (still 3rd person tho) marked with green, the switch back to alhaitham’s pov (3rd person) marked with blue. not beta read we pray to nahida, can be read whether you choose to view them as a couple/friends/companions/whatever you want any way works, i enjoy the uncommon way their relationship works without the typical romantic stuff <2

description: “who did this to you” trope (not the way one would probably assume), hurt/comfort (except they DIDN’T HURT EACH OTHER, they ended up hurt and therefore COMFORT each other), fluff at the end

he got into a fight. a group of eremites planned an attack catching him unprepared, surprised.  they got quite a bit of the punches in, he managed to defend himself but was mainly outnumbered. his injuries weren’t that bad, and he had no reason to cover up any of it. his hand still moves to his grey hair, while he walks home switching the bangs to cover the bruised side of his face. frustration fills him as he can't justify to himself why he is then covering it up; the red-purpleish eye, the cut on his cheekbone. with a soft sigh Alhaitham walks into his home.

the melodic voice pierces his noise-canceling pieces, his roommate complaining immediately about something easily resolved.

„... which resulted in me actually doing the work and helping the student and they-“ Kaveh stopped in front of him, mid-sentence, his eyes focused on his face. Alhaitham feels a shiver down his spine, fear? no, why would he feel fear? he is fine.

„you were saying, and they?“ he continues, to nudge Kaveh to continue his sentence.

„what is up with your hair, Alhaitham?“ Kaveh steps closer, his eyes staring, almost like he was digging around, scanning every detail.

„can I not change my appearance?“ maintaining the same unamused tone Alhaitham provides a counterargument.

not a beat after, “it is unlike you to change anything“ and a small frown on the blond's face.

Alhaitham sighs, and gestures with his hand, “you were saying, about the student..?“. he is doing his best to hold himself up normally, to appear like he isn’t in pain, and to give Kaveh attention so he can be unbothered in his room for at least the rest of the day. he doesn’t want him to worry.

„Kaveh, it is nothing of matter- a few eremites, there were more of them… they caught me off guard, I'm fine.“

Kaveh nods and starts talking about his interaction not even paying attention to Alhaitham, his eyes moving around the room as he talks and complains until one specific glance at Alhaitham's face makes him stop.

„Alhaitham, you're hurt. you- you're bleeding“ Kaveh moves closer, Alhaitham raises a hand over his hair in an attempt to hide any sign of injury and tries to play it off as a gesture. The blond doesn't buy it, wrapping his hand around the younger's wrist and moving it away. Kaveh's eyes calm, the red matching the anger starting to bubble inside him, and it is scary, he does usually get frustrated and loud, but angry? A terrifying sight, when a kind man is angry.

Alhaitham gulps at the sight of a calm, collected... dear Archons, quiet Kaveh.

„who. who did this to you?“ his voice slightly quieter than normal, he steps closer, his hand moving the hair out of Alhaitham's face and staring at the fresh bruise. “I'll kill them. Who touched you-“ his voice shaking with rage, worry, sadness.

„are you?“ Kaveh quickly sees through the façade he put down, Kaveh’s eyes drop down to the way his arm is embracing his own side like one would do if they were punched there, or kicked.

Alhaitham opens his mouth to reassure him that he is indeed fine but Kaveh cuts him off.  “don't lie to me.“

continuing to press this lie would be pointless so he just falls silent. Alhaitham pulls Kaveh into his chest with the hand that is still in Kaveh's grip. it isn't a full hug, or maybe it is. with the sort of free hand- he was using it to soothe his own pain, he brings him closer by resting it on Kaveh's back.

„I will be fine“ he mumbles, his words met with silence. Alhaitham finds himself thinking, is Kaveh crying? why the silence? no, he isn't crying, he is completely still.

„let's get you patched up-“„I'm fine- I have taken care of it-“„-and put something cold over the bruise and you should go rest“ there is a certain silence in the air beneath his words. the way his voice flows along the air and the sound evaporates like smoke. message between the lines, he knows him, why is he having trouble decoding it? perhaps the words between the lines aren’t meant for him.

the architect's hands are gentle and steady while they press the soft cotton onto his cheek, the cold towel soothing the bruised eye. his lips pursed, focused on his movements making sure to not provide Alhaitham any more pain.

Kaveh spent the remainder of the day, afternoon and evening included, taking care of Alhaitham's injuries, which weren't major, but enough to make him worry, to make him fill with questions. he did ask those questions along the way and loudly express his worries to which Alhaitham didn't make many comments or provide too many answers than what he had already given.

hence when the night came and both of them went to their respective rooms, Kaveh laid awake in his bed. the idea that Alhaitham could be attacked again, especially due to his current high-ranking position as the acting grand sage, dug around his mind. his thoughts of hopeless worry and helplessness turning into laser focus on making sure he is safe, probably in the most destructive way possible; by going out and taking care of it himself.

hyper fixated on only that, he organized what little information he had of the whole situation in his head and headed out, purposely leaving Mehrak behind.

the doors open, making Alhaitham look up for a second, he knows it's his roommate- but he does a double take, his eyes widening and freezing on Kaveh. Kaveh walks further in, his hands, arms - the white puffy sleeves covered in blood. the tips of his blond golden hair dyed a dark shade of red, his face splattered with drops the same shade as his eyes. his body language suggests he is uninjured, and there is a sound. like something is dragged on the ground. the large claymore weapon, which is still in Kaveh's hand comes into his sight.

he informed Cyno of the attack from the day by talking to some of the younger matra who were on his way, informing them of the urgency, and letting them know where he assumed their base was. without waiting for anyone or any feedback he made his way to said location. after confirming they were the ones who attacked Alhaitham... he attacked on sight.

lifting the heavy weapon like it was light as air, not caring for his muscles burning in pain, he knew how to wield it. along with using his vision, he fought quite a few of them, getting hit occasionally but much less than one may think, creating slashes, and getting covered in blood. no one dropped dead yet when the matra showed up, taking them all in and away. they thanked Kaveh for the information and while Cyno was busy scanning around the area and conversing Kaveh left. his job, his goal, finished. the price to achieve it, in the way he wanted to achieve it, was too high.

he walked slowly back home, dragging the weapon on the ground as he did. he walked for hours, his head empty, with no thoughts. Alhaitham was now safe and that was all that mattered. not feeling the pain in his body, not actually. the dryness of his throat, the bruises he sustained, the ache in his wrists. the way he looked like he had just slaughtered a boar or a sumpter beast. the way he has yet to realize the dire consequences and the toll it takes on one's mind when you do such things. when you... turn off everything except the one goal.

any hi's, hello's falling onto deaf ears, or comments on his appearance while he walked through Sumeru city. any worried, scared expressions unnoticed by his eyes. his body but a mere shell as he approaches the door of his home. unknown to him it was already past noon the following day, and quite a bit of time had passed.

Alhaitham is horrified, worried, and aware that this is a moment where he has to try his best to communicate the best he can - because Kaveh looks like... that. what could’ve possibly happened, possible outcomes run through his mind. he continues observing him, the way his eyes are focused on the floor, the fact he didn't bring Mehrak wherever he went. speechless for a few moments as he puts down the book and slowly stands up, patiently finding the right words to say. meanwhile, Kaveh gently leans the claymore onto the wall, his movements mechanical, and automatic, after which he straightens his back and notices Alhaitham. his eyes turning brighter at the sight and approaching him, behaving as if he looks completely normal.

„Alhaitham- don't worry, you're safe now, no one will hurt you ever again- they-they wouldn't, would not dare touch you“ his voice is full of emotion, shaking, showing flashes of anger, pain, relief, stumbling over his words as he approaches the taller man. he sounds almost delirious.

„Kaveh, what happened? are you okay?“ his voice calm, stern. he holds his tongue to not ask, what did you do?

„yes-,“ he waves his hand gesturing like it is nothing “of course, I'm fine“ he chuckles between his words “and nothing happened, I took care of those people that jumped you- well I-“ he stops, sighs, “the matra came quickly, you need not worry, I have not turned into a criminal on your account.“ he laughs dryly.

beat. a feeling of relief, murder sits heavy on the mind, it is good the matra came. Alhaitham nods to himself. he reaches with his hand, hovering above Kaveh's cheek, and lets it fall back. the way Kaveh didn't even react to that tells him enough, the architect is not fully here, perhaps dissociated or he was hyper focused on what he wanted to get done. he isn't facing reality, or rather he isn’t completely in reality at this moment. and if he is hurt he probably can't even feel it, can’t acknowledge it. no words Alhaitham would say right now to scold him, lecture him, or express worry would not reach him actually. he attempts to settle on other ways.

„you do realize how you look right now?“ Alhaitham can't help himself trying his normal way of talking, which fails immediately- his earlier conclusion on Kaveh's mental state at the moment proves itself accurate as the blond nods and speaks the same thing again, “you're safe, I- I took care of it“

...other ways it is. the underlying worry about him being injured still lies but at this moment, anything his roommate would say would be unreliable. “let's...“ he reaches with his hand towards his. “let's get you cleaned up“ Kaveh just shuts down, allowing Alhaitham to lead him to the bathroom, he stays silent, fully on ‘autopilot’.

with simple instructions he leads him in. “your clothes are dirty, take them off, we will wash them later.“ in his monotone voice he instructs.

a line which would be flustering at least, no matter the situation, now it provides not even a blush from the shorter man. he takes off the white blouse, which Alhaitham immediately places in a bowl filled with cold water, and does the same with the remaining clothing pieces. Kaveh sits down in an empty tub and Alhaitham gently washes the blood out of his hair, he notices from Kaveh's body language that he is slowly coming back to reality. with a cloth he gently scrubs down the blood from his arms while silently praying to lesser lord Kusanali that he doesn't have any cuts or wounds there. as if she had answered his prayers, Kaveh’s arms are only covered with the occasional light bruise.

after the only running water turns clear, with no sign of blood, he turns the water to fill the tub. allowing himself to place a hand on his forehead, his mind fills with worry and regret closing his eyes for a moment, his gaze moves to Kaveh who is staring at a dot on the wall across from him. the warm water fills the tub and Alhaitham speaks, but only in the basic words, instructive kind, keeping his thoughts still to himself, “the warm water will soothe you, you should stay inside the tub for half an hour at least.“ a nod. a positive sign in his mind, he stays sitting on the ground, observing the older man. Kaveh's eyes fall to the water, his voice comes out shaky, quiet, “A- Alhaitham?“

„I'm here“ he responds in his normal tone, he notices Kaveh's distress, his hand moving under the water, caressing the older's back. “I'm here“ he repeats himself, his tone a tad softer this time.

Kaveh turns his head to Alhaitham, his eyes filling with tears, “I-I-“

„you're in distress right now, you don't have to force yourself to speak“ to which Kaveh nods, but he is trembling slightly as if he is about to have a panic attack, Alhaitham notices that and makes a quick decision, moving to gently kiss his golden hair. “I'm here“ he whispers, offering a moment of comfort while he quickly strips himself of his clothes and goes into the tub, sitting behind him. his arms pull Kaveh into his chest, so he leans backward on him. Alhaitham whispers once more, his lips next to the older's head “I'm here.“

time seamlessly flows by, until Kaveh's breathing calms down to match Alhaitham's. the water stays warm, and Alhaitham would sit there with him as long as his senior needed, nothing else would matter. Kaveh then softly starts telling what happened, or what he believes is important at that moment.

„please, don't ever do that again- and, no, I do not care about those people, I am talking about you, do not bring yourself in such danger again, not for my sake at least, or anyone's for that matter.“ Alhaitham scolds the man in his arms.

„I'm not- I'm not a violent person, I just...“ falling quiet for a moment. “I don't mind self-defense- I just- I couldn't bear the thought of you being in danger... It had to be by my hands, not with Mehrak- and I, I probably sprained my wrist-“ his words made Alhaitham's eyes fall to his wrist, scanning it for any injury, moving to gently grasp it, hold it, ever so softly.“-and, I know why... for some... fucking reason I blame myself for not being able to keep one fucking person safe“ there's a heaviness in the way he says ‘one fucking person’, Alhaitham can sense the incomplete version of it hovering. one fucking person I care about, the most? his voice fills with anger at himself and Alhaitham already mentally prepares his words but Kaveh says the lesson he wanted to carry over, “tho it has no relation to me and I'm not guilty for it and therefore shouldn't have punished myself for it by using the claymore by hand.“

he shakes his head. “and I probably look like a wet rat now“ typically in Kaveh fashion he also adds a complaint or something rather unimportant and, if you ask Alhaitham, completely untrue. to maybe make Kaveh laugh, or even crack a smile, he plays along his line “eh, so do I, especially with the gray hair“ he dryly laughs. Kaveh turns his head to look at Alhaitham and sighs, “well that is no consolation, you look handsome as ever.“ which makes Alhaitham chuckle, his chest lightly rumbling under Kaveh's back.

Alhaitham of course doesn't allow such slander against his roommate, even if it comes from the roommate himself, grabbing his chin to make him face him once more for a moment, “and you look as beautiful as ever, as radiant as the sun.“ Alhaitham could ramble on and on about Kaveh's beauty, and how he must be a descendant of the goddess of flowers because he is so ethereal, yet his looks are what he cares about the least. thus, he sees little point in it. he has much more appreciation for his personality, intellect, habits, behavior, kindness, loyalty, etc. those things you can't buy. the moment is short and unnecessary in his opinion, yet Kaveh's eyes turn a shade brighter, appreciating the comment, but his head turns to the front and he leans his head back onto Alhaitham's collarbone.

„of course, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be so foolish.“ Alhaitham is quick to answer, to which Kaveh scoffs, “I'd get them to proper punishment from the matra, and be more careful towards my injuries, or get them to be judged in front of our archon.“

„that means I should never bring myself in danger then, Alhaitham.“ he points out a fault in his sentence, to which Alhaitham nods, a small smile playing on his lips, which Kaveh cannot see. “I'll try my best not to then.“ Kaveh adds, earning a nod from Alhaitham.

„you also don't understand- you wouldn't do it for me“ Kaveh turns the conversation back to the middle of the topic, an underlying tone suggests he is upset.

after a moment of silence, “I wouldn't do what you did.“ he says a bit quieter the following, in that moment, the warmth of the water, Kaveh's body against his, his tired mind, he can't bite his tongue to the next words “I would do much... much worse.“ his mind forces him to imagine Kaveh getting hurt, just the thought of someone daring or even thinking about hurting his comfort person, his roommate, his senior, his... everything... anger, rage flashes, his words whispered “I'd kill them.“ and in that moment, those are true words. he'd kill them in cold blood and never blink an eye for it until the rest of his life. it would be as natural and as justified to him as killing an ant in the kitchen is.

Kaveh moves his hand to Alhaitham's, which was beside Kaveh's thigh, he takes it in his own under the water and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “no one is harming me, I'm okay.“

Alhaitham nods, “I know“ he kisses Kaveh's temple, “the biggest threat to you is you, yourself“ making Kaveh laugh self-deprecatingly.

time passes, with comforting silence, and eventually, Alhaitham massages Kaveh's scalp with a mint soap bar, proving to be a soothing, simple moment for the both of them. they both dislike any sweet scents, mint being the only scented one amongst their shared products.

after the bath, the drying up, the clean clothes, pajamas, Alhaitham is escorting, that is what he told himself - in all actuality he is following, Kaveh to his room. promptly also moving into the blond's bed, nuzzling his head into the still slightly damp golden locks.

a silence falls over the bedroom upon which Alhaitham would've thought Kaveh fell asleep if it were not for the pattern of his breathing which gave away his state of consciousness.

„I..“ Alhaitham begins, “I care about you too much for this to happen to us, let's“ he exhales, “let's try communicating better“ which makes Kaveh chuckle, “you suck at communicating well enough.“

„I am excellent at it“ Kaveh raises an eyebrow to that statement. “oh, are you now? well-“ he decides to not go along his usual route of this conversation, he sighs softly, pausing for a moment as he changes the trajectory of his thoughts “we have different ways of communication, and 90% of them perfectly match which is not visible or even typical with any normal people, we... for fucks sake the fact that we write notes in an ancient language would be the prime example. but in those 10%...“ he sighs, and Alhaitham continues instead of him, “we differ to the point we hurt each other.“

in a hushed voice he says, “I care about you.. a lot. I am... I am failing to find words for the things I wish to say, except I just care.“

Alhaitham smiles, Kaveh grumbles a bit more and he listens. all is well.

Kaveh turns to face him in the dark bedroom, heads next to each other to the point they can feel each other's breath. “it is painfully obvious that I also care. I guess we should show it to each other, to remind ourselves, in more... mundane ways.“

Alhaitham closes his eyes, moving closer, his arm moving to rest on Kaveh's waist, his head resting in the crook of his neck, “agreed. you can start by doing the dishes in the morning.“ the soft quiet moment sliced by a high pitched whisper which makes him chuckle, “hey! I did them just the other day- it is your turn!“

they will be fine.

[yuu--dachi]

a joy to be hidden, a disaster to not be found

hewwo! it's my first fic in a while and also the first fic on this blog. wahoo!! and it's.... an x reader fic which i've also never done before!! and also for genshin!! wahoo!!

ships: alhaitham x reader / you (gender neutral)

content: hurt/comfort, fluff, lowkey pining from alhaitham, reader experiences a panic attack, written in reader's pov but switches to alhaitham for a bit at the end, alhaitham says Sorry cus i like to make him do that 😎

words: 4k (help girl how did i let it get this long...)

synopsis: in which a haravatat scholar realises that everything is not as simple as it is, our body betrays us at every second of every hour, and the three times alhaitham finds you, no matter what.

this reader is for all the babygirls (gender neutral) out there who feel things so deeply and we are all crybabies. i see you, i hear you, and i love you!! we're all bad bitches who are easily moved and touched by the world around us and that's lovely!! keep shining your light on this world, friends!

i'm taking requests for drabbles and quick fics or poetry! whatever inspo strikes me 😴

---

the first time he finds you, alhaitham says:

“the solution is quite simple.” 

and you find your fist in wanting of purchase in his face. 

“this wouldn't be a problem had you realised your limits before your entire body broke down. surely, i don't have to cite research papers for you to understand that it is important to take note of one's mental health accordingly, as an adult with agency in your own life? then you don't have to find comfort in the mouth of a beer mug.”

he was surprisingly chatty today, and at any other time you would have loved to relish in making him speak for so much for so long. getting him to talk so much was like trying to scrape the bottom of the jar for the last smidgens of berry jam, and you savoured it just as well. 

but not today.

“alhaitham, you're not in my shoes, so stop trying to make me walk down the same path you do.”

he tipped his head, confused. “what's wrong with my path? i have no relationship problems—”

“because you don't maintain any.”

“—no financial burdens—”

“because you don't spend it on anything.”

“—and no personal problems.”

“because you don't bother with anything you don't care for,” you sighed out. 

“if i didn't maintain any relationships, then why am i here? and if i didn't spend any money, then why is the bill under my name? and if i didn't bother with anything i don't care for, then why am i with you, right now, instead of reading at home?”

he flicks your nose; you sniffle in response and bury your face into the hard table, slightly damp from your tears.

“i don't know,” you whispered, the words leaving you without a thought. “why are you here, alhaitham?”

“if i follow your reasoning, it's because i'm bored, have money, and don't care to be anywhere else. does that answer satisfy you?”

a silence between both of you, even though the tavern was filled with the sound of chatter and the tinkling of dishes and cutlery. “...no.”

“then why upset yourself?”

you remove your face from the table and look at him, despite your eyes red and puffy from crying, nosy runny, and a wood grain pattern imprinted on your cheek and forehead. “i just wanted to hear you say it.”

he hums, thoughtful.

(despite his demeanour, he was rarely thoughtless about anything. even if he didn't make decisions you would've done.)

“because i care about you,” he let the words out slowly, like testing how they roll off the tongue. like learning a new language. “is that alright?”

you plant your face back into the table, all too-aware of your red eyes that must've sparkled, your lips that wanted to become a songbird in return for such simple words. ��mm-hmm. thank you.”

“you're very welcome.”

***

the second time alhaitham finds you, you are under a table. 

“go away for a bit,” the words come out of your mouth clumsily, like tripping over your own feet in haste. “this one's t-taken.”

your humour probably didn't land as well as you hoped. the stuttering of the heart in your chest beating like a butterfly's wings in flight, like it had ambitions of flying out of your chest instead of remaining behind your ribcage where it belonged. to your credit, it was hard to think of a joke in the middle of everything that was happening in your body. you would've rated yourself fairly well, all things considered.

alhaitham didn't seem to agree, although he didn't frown at you. he tends to voice out his disagreements vocally rather than through things like body language—you know, like a machine would when you press the wrong button? 

if he knew what i'm thinking right now, he would probably say that it's one of the virtues of studying under haravatat—classic alhaitham!

instead of saying anything immediately though, he sat cross-legged in front of you, his eyes wandering, seemingly…. observing? what was he looking at? you're sure you could've tell if your mind was clearer, but you couldn't at the moment.

“does it not hurt?” he asked, then, from your face dipped over your hunched knees, you heard two raps of a knock on the desk. “this is the desk made with athel wood, isn't it? it's very durable, but it's difficult for the city craftsmen to make full use of them right now because of how hard it is. the edges don't look sanded enough.”

“i-it's fine,” you choke out, and then breathed in and out for a proper response. “i don't mind it so much.”

he raised a brow in return. oh, you think, so now he's going to use body language, is he? 

too bad you couldn't savour it this time too. 

“as long as it's pressing against me, i'm… okay.”

you hear him hum in understanding, like he does when he reads a well written proposal. 

“is that why you chose this desk in particular? the others were too high and wide and you couldn't make contact with the wood?”

before you realised it, it was easier for you to speak now, even though your heart was still pounding, and your skin felt raw. you didn't usually try to talk when you were experiencing… whatever this is. 

“yeah. i just need… to feel safe.”

before you realised it, your face was no longer tucked between your knees, but instead resting on them as you avoided looking him in the eyes. 

“i see,” he said, and he paused before saying: “would you mind if i tried something?”

you hesitated, and your eyes finally meet. “i don't know, what are you going to do?”

“i'm going to hold you in my arms,” he said, and switched from sitting cross legged to having his knees tucked under him, arms open and his hands stretching for yours. “if you don't mind.”

in any other situation, you wouldn't have minded. you'd say: maybe it'll start snowing in the desert today! should we start preparing for the oncoming winter?

but now….

you were a mess—just like you were in the tavern that night, too. red ringed on your puffed-up eyes, sweat drenching your clothes and making your back feel as humid as the rainforests at night, and you could barely eke out a word before seemingly using up every bit of air in your lungs, like a newborn babe that only knew how to cry.

you didn't know how to tell all of this to alhaitham. sorry, can i go change into better clothes first? can i save this hug for another time when i'm completely sane and sober to take full advantage of it? can you wait till i ice my eyes so i can look at you properly?

instead, what came out of your mouth was: “i'm disgusting right now.”

he hummed, and you weren't sure if it was his i'm-considering-how-to-reply-to-this-idiotic-situation hum or i-see-where-you're-coming-from hum.

“i can see why you'd think that, but that's irrelevant.”

ah. so it was both.

“why do you want to hold me?”

“i want to see if i can do a better job than a desk,” he says, and you feel a smile ghost your face, only because you see him wearing one too. a small smile, simple like him. 

“i probably smell really bad. i'm sweating so much right now.”

“that's fine. i'll stop breathing through my nose.”

“my eyes are really red too. it's not that i don't want to look at you, it's that i'm too embarrassed to.”

“i can just close my eyes.”

“my heart is pounding really painfully right now, and it's hard to talk.”

“i'll ask questions that are easy to answer then.”

finally, you relented. “...is it really okay?”

“yes.”

after you confirmed that he couldn't smell you and couldn't see you, you slowly inch from under the desk and into his lap, where he then wrapped his arms around you. not tightly or passionately, but a sort of reassuring grip—like he wouldn't let you fall.

“how does it feel?”

“you're probably better than my desk,” you laughed out, and the sound felt strange to your ears, just moments after you were alone and crying and hyperventilating under a desk in a room by yourself.

“glad to be of service.”

you laughed again. “i don't think even the other sages from the akademiya can ever get you to say those words.”

“because they can't. if any of them leapt into my arms asking for a hug, i'd redirect them to doctor zakariya.”

you laughed again, and you were glad you made him promise to close his eyes. the sight of alhaitham smiling slightly at you, and the sight of your smile looking at him would've convinced anyone that you were starstruck by him. you didn't feel up to being publicly humiliated at the moment. 

the two of you spent the next few minutes—which felt like hours—in each other's embrace (well, yours in his, mostly), and soon your breathing steadied. from the high tides and low crests of your chest rising and falling asynchronously, it returned to the rhythm of the afternoon tides of port ormos.

although it was a difficult question to ask, you asked anyways. “are you not going to ask me what happened?”

“one of the six sins of any scholar under the akademiya is to interfere in human evolution,” he began, and you felt a smile coming before he even finished. “i assume it was your body's way of protecting you against a threat. although—” 

he opened his eyes, and you would've tried to stop your smiling by any means before he could see you, but he was wearing a smile of his own, and you couldn't help but dig your fingers deeper into his arms. 

“—the nature of the threat and it's scale remains unknown to me still. you have a way with handling problems, after all.”

you gave him a big smack on his chest, fists closed for maximum impact. “ouch!”

how did that hurt you instead of him?

“a good rule of self defense is hard parts against soft targets, and soft parts on hard targets. you shouldn't have closed your hand. a slap would work better.”

“how was i going to know your chest was literally rock hard?!”

“i thought you might have some inkling. i've noticed your stare a few times before.”

you wanted to throw yourself into the abyss.

you couldn't, so instead, you took his hand and bit his fingers as the next best thing. 

a small ouch sounded from him, though you couldn't tell if it was genuine or for the sake of making you feel better. you laid your head back against his chest, arms now wrapped around him in return.

“thanks, alhaitham.”

“you're very welcome,” he muttered in response, and you almost didn’t hear him.

“you’re not going to tell me that the solution is simple, or that i was the one that caused this thing in myself?”

he hummed.

“no,” he started, and you wanted to collapse in relief. “i am a scholar of haravatat, not amurta. i don’t understand the subject matter enough to say in any confidence or plausibility that the way your—or anyone’s—body works is simple. if it was that simple, then we wouldn’t have an entire field dedicated to it. and i do wish it were that simple, sometimes. then perhaps so many scholars wouldn’t have written audacious sounding proposals that i’d have to read thoroughly just to reject.”

you snickered. “what does haravatat’s wisdom has to say about me?”

for a moment, you see his eyes soften, straying away from yours.

“that your body failing you is not a moral or intellectual inadequacy on your part. that we do not have full control of ourselves, even if we would like to. that, perhaps…”

“perhaps?”

his gaze returns to you. “...perhaps, we are all more fallible than we see ourselves.”

“only you see yourself as infallible. i know very well how my body betrays me every second of every day. it’s one of the things that comes with being in touch with my own emotions, don’t you know?”

the teasing was meant to be lighthearted, as you knew he didn’t mean anything he said before in a dogged way. his words was not thorny on purpose like a bramble bush, just rough to the touch like a tongue’s cat. there were days where his words striked too much like an arrow through you, and days where the coarseness only brushed your ankles like standing in sand. you loved and cared for him despite that.

suddenly, he pulled you tighter against him, and you squeaked. “alhaitham? Is everything okay?”

no answer. you shifted in your position to make yourself more comfortable, and with whatever left strength you could muster, you rub your hands over his back in calm, soothing circles. “there, there.” 

your voice reverberated through your body, and you continued to hold him reassuringly, hoping that enough exposure to having him be so close to you would cure your racing heart and your voice, almost crumbling at his touch.

it was good how self conscious of yourself you were. then, you wouldn’t be able to tell that his heart was racing, too. 

***

the third time he finds you, it was not so much being found as it was being chased.

it was just one of those days that went wrong in every way it could’ve gone wrong. you stubbed your toe after getting out of the shower, your research project was going nowhere despite your multiple reminders to your groupmates, and even the way the sticky-sweet baklava clung to your teeth annoyed you.

worst of all, you had a fight with alhaitham.

now that you think of it, it could hardly be called a fight. you’ve seen full-grown adults in akademiya gowns act pettier in a structured debate, and you were sure that if you had asked alhaitham—truly asked, with no contempt or malice—he would’ve presented to you a perfectly reasonable explanation why he didn’t act like an asshole and moreso sounded like one.

right. the only person that was taking things too seriously was you. it had always been you.

it wasn’t that you wanted to be less emotional. you had spent too much time in your formative younger years denying the fact that you simply felt things more deeply, more quickly, than others. it was difficult to accept that you simply had thinner skin than most people—that, on a bad day, the veil of privacy that stood between your emotions and the outside world was nothing but sheer silk that fluttered all too easily with an evening breeze. 

the ‘fight’ was nothing spectacular, either. It wasn’t as if you two were having an intellectual discussion as two scholars, rigorously going through peer review on a research paper. it wasn’t as if neither of you would come out of it having respected each other a little less.

but, like the person that you are, so tethered to the heart that it kept your feet frozen sometimes, it had hurt you deeply.

it truly was nothing spectacular. you simply wanted to vent about your terrible groupmates, and you thought that it would be nothing more than a venting session over drinks, getting sober, and then buckling down to do the job once you were ready again in the morning.

but it escalated. he, also seemingly irritable that night, kept bringing up questions, solutions, to your dismay. at any other time, you would’ve let it slide and shelved it as simply alhaitham being alhaitham—a man who wanted life to be simple and easy, fixing problems before they sprung. however, what you needed that night was not a fixer or a tinkerer with all his haravatat wisdom. you needed alhaitham the drinking buddy, the one that would foot the bill, the one that held you in his arms and wanted to be of more comfort than the desk you hid under.

“i just wish you would just—listen!”

“i am listening. it’s just that it’s difficult to keep my words to myself, seeing as this problem can be easily fixed, if you weren’t so fixated on unnecessary things.”

“unnecessary? i don’t like them, but it doesn’t mean that i want to snitch on them!”

“what’s stopping you? they clearly don’t respect you. who else can they blame but themselves as the logical consequence of their actions if you do tell on them? they are adults in their own capacity, and the akademiya is not a place for people to loiter around, seeking for forgiveness for one’s own incompetence. their lesson is theirs to learn.”

“i have my own way of fixing things, alhaitham. you may not care about other people’s feelings, but i do! and i’d rather work it out clearly with them rather than resort to underhanded tactics just to have my life go a little smoother.”

“then tell me, why hasn’t your way of fixing problems worked? only an idiot would employ the same methods over and over again, hoping it’ll work the next time.”

he didn’t call you an idiot directly, but he didn’t have to. the insult found its way to you just the same. 

even if you did, you couldn’t fully deny it either. in the perspective of alhaitham, perhaps everyone else other than him was a dimwit full of hot air. the thought that the same applied to you, who you thought had a pretty close relationship with him, stung the most. 

he had tried to talk to you and reach out multiple times (although, by your estimates, his attempts were somewhat weak and clumsy), and you kept him out of your house with a badly made sign that said ‘TRESPASSERS BEWARE’ above an aranara carving that looked—in your opinion—pretty scary.

on these days, it was difficult. you couldn’t touch yourself, feeling so raw that you feared that wherever your hand brushed, you would come away bleeding. 

there were at least some good news though: your groupmates finally decided to cooperate with you for the project, and you were extremely thankful for it. it turns out that they all had personal issues that made it difficult to speak out on, and now that they realised that you wouldn’t judge them for whatever excuse they may have, they confided in you, and everything went as smoothly as you could hope for.

the four of you celebrated at the tavern, drinks in hand at 3 p.m. in the afternoon. the boss, seeing this particular group of inebriated students, simply shook his head and smiled defeatedly. by the time the sky changed colours, only you were left sitting alone at your table after having escorted the other three to their homes to get some well-earned rest. you would have left soon after, if not only for the fact that you had ‘bumped’ into alhaitham and he ordered a drink to have at your table.

“i was right,” was the first thing you said to him, and you enjoyed the look on his face when the words left your mouth. “i was right. everything turned out like i hoped it would.”

he tilted his head. “surely you can’t expect for luck and fortunate circumstances to befall you every time?”

“i don’t. i don’t, but… i’ll keep doing what i’m doing. i like it when everyone is happy. things won’t always go the way i want them to, but i’ll keep doing it, because it’s important to me that i try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, that i don’t walk the easy road if it means i’ve passed by something meaningful just to suffer a little less in my own life.”

“you sound like kaveh.”

you chuckled. “that sounds like a compliment to me. thank you.”

when his drink arrived, alhaitham nudged it your way across the table. you raised a brow. “what’s this for?”

“to say i’m sorry.”

“words aren’t enough for you?”

“words are only enough for people who trust others to tell the truth,” he paused, then added: “and i don’t.”

you hummed, then leaned back in your chair. “pretend, then, that we are two people who trust each other to tell the truth, and that we would believe in each other no matter what. what would you say?”

his green-red eyes flickered, and you didn’t know from what. if it was with other people, you could hazard a guess, sure—but alhaitham was different from the people you’ve met, and you did not want to presume what his heart feels.

(even if he claims that it’s only there to keep him alive.)

“when i couldn’t see you, i still thought of you, and i didn’t know what to do. i want to apologise for insulting you with my words, even if i didn’t mean to. i failed to calculate the exact way they had sounded until it reached my own ears and i saw how hurt you were.”

you said nothing, but nodded slightly as a go-on.

“i like it when things are simple, but that didn’t mean i wanted you to be simple. i just wanted things to be simple for you, and i unreasonably tried to force my perspective onto yours and ended up hurting you in the process. and for that…” he seemed to have trouble wrangling the words out of his throat, and you would’ve laughed if he didn’t look so pained. you reached out for his hand on the table, resting yours atop his. “...and for that, i am deeply sorry.”

you hummed. another moment to savour. 

there  was still one more thing you needed to clear up, though.

“...do you think i’m an idiot?”

unlike mere moments ago, the words shot out of his mouth before he even tried to rein them in. “no. not at all. i’ve never once thought you were.”

you smiled at him, somewhat self-deprecatingly. “but you don’t like how emotional i am.”

“it’s not a matter of liking or disliking. your emotions serve a purpose in your decision-making. it’s simply that… i do not like the experience of having to see you go through things that hurt you, even if you’re willing to do so.”

ah, so that’s what it is.

“alhaitham, do you care about me?”

his eyes, previously unfocused, darted back to meet your unflinching gaze. “have my actions indicated otherwise?”

you couldn’t help it. you snorted. “alhaitham, the line between caring for a person’s wellbeing out of courtesy rather than concern is a very thin line. at least, for the rest of us who you might call ‘drama queens’ and ‘fake socialites’.”

maybe he didn’t realise it, but his brows scrunched under your scrutiny, and you couldn’t help but feel joy at the fact that you made alhaitham, someone so aloof and disenchanted, truly perplexed.

“do you not know the answer already?”

“i do,” you say, and you were sure that your smile was infuriating him now. “i just wanted to hear you say it.”

a silence between both of you, even though the tavern was filled with the sound of chatter and the tinkling of dishes and cutlery. 

“i do care for you. deeply. does this answer satisfy you?”

“yep!” you smiled, and alhaitham wasn’t one to offer prayers of gratitude to the sevens above, but he was glad that you were so self-conscious of yourself to be blind to the way he leaned forward in his seat, his one hand tightly clutched under the table, and the way he wished he could bottle your smile and indulge in it on a rainy day, if he could.

ah well, alhaitham thought, tomorrow is another day without them realising. 

[alluringlight]

Alhaitham x Reader

Warnings: NOT pre-established relationship, can be read platonically, Alhaitham is overstimulated and very heavily implied to be neurodivergent, reader is also implied to be ND at the end, fluff or kind of hurt/comfort? it's just haitham getting overstimulated by everyone at the Akademiya and reader stepping in to give him a reprieve, also no (Y/N) or [Name] used you're just referred to as 'you' so it is gender neutral

WC: 1191

Anyone could tell that the Acting Grand Sage was uncomfortable. Or at least, that was your reasoning as to why you stepped in. You didn’t know Alhaitham that well, having only dealt with him through paperwork and never actually having met him face to face before, so you were a bit nervous about being presumptuous…but with how uncomfortable he seemed, you put aside your pride and told yourself you were simply helping out a regular colleague. 

As for his part, Alhaitham was having a disastrous day. His soundproof earpieces were broken, courtesy of a drunken squabble with his roommate the previous night, and everyone in the Akademiya was getting on his nerves. The voices of hopeful scholars and researchers seeking funding had been drilling into his brain since early in the morning, and he had a pounding headache, not to mention how bad his ears hurt since everything was so loud. He had forgotten just how sensitive they were, having taken his peaceful existence with his earpieces for granted. Once more, he had been stopped by a researcher, on his way back to his office, so now he stood in the hall, pretending he had any interest in the person in front of him. Internally, he just wanted to bang his head into the wall; he knew he was being irrational, which made him feel even worse since logic and rationale were his own slice of divinity. 

“Excuse me, so sorry to interrupt,” You sidled up to the two, immediately capturing the attention of the researcher that you cut off, you gave him an apologetic look as you continued speaking. “I’m going to have to steal the Acting Grand Sage from you; we’ve got an emergency meeting that you’re going to make him late for.” 

“What?! We’re having an important conversation, I’m sure you can wait just a few minutes. You can’t just demand his presence.” The researcher was getting on your nerves, sure you were lying, but he didn’t know that, yet he was still being so rude to you. 

“Look, I know and I apologize, but this meeting was tabled last week due to scheduling conflicts and today’s the only day this week we’ve managed to squeeze in the time.” You tried to give the guy an apologetic smile, but he was getting on your nerves enough that it was a bit hard to muster up. 

The guy scoffed, “Surely, since this meeting was tabled in the first place it can wait a few minutes.” 

Your smile dropped and you eyed him, giving him an unimpressed look. “I didn’t want to do this, but I will pull rank so to speak if you won’t let this go. As most situations are, this one has only gotten worse as it’s been put off, so I’d appreciate it if you let it go. I’m sure if you write up your request and send it through the proper channels it’ll get to the Acting Grand Sage all the same, if you want you can put the request in my office’s mailbox and I’ll deliver it to him myself.” 

The researcher seemed to shrink in on himself a bit, and you knew you assumed correctly, he was needling Alhaitham now since whatever request he had couldn’t go through the regular channels, or it had already been shot down. As he stuttered over himself apologizing for delaying your meeting, you gave him another easy smile. 

Alhaitham watched the exchange patiently, he didn’t want to interfere as he didn’t want to talk and in general he didn’t know you that well, but he knew you had worked with the matra before on a couple of plagiarism cases; he distinctly remembered Cyno mentioning you in relation to a recent case. Since the General Mahamatra himself trusted you, Alhaitham followed you, although begrudgingly as he really just wanted to make an excuse to leave early. In all honesty, he had no idea what meeting you were talking about, but he could care less if it at least got him away from that incessant guy. 

You easily detached the Sage from the researcher, once again waving at him in apology as you tried to look like you were rushing off to do something important. You didn’t say anything at all to Alhaitham as the two of you quickly walked to your own office. It was cozy, with a small two-seater couch in addition to the large desk that was laden with your work. You said nothing as you closed the door and then made quick work of shutting the curtains and turning on the small desk lamp, leaving the small sofa in semi darkness. 

“Uh…I should have some…?” You spoke mostly to yourself, as you were slightly nervous at having the Acting Grand Sage in your office, but you dutifully dug around in your desk until you came upon your own ear defenders. “Here, they’re probably not as comfortable as your earpieces, and they aren’t completely soundproof, but they should work. No one will bother you in here and you’re welcome to lay down if you want. I’m just going to be working on paperwork, but if you need background noise you’re welcome to root through my spin crystals to find one to play.” You didn’t give it much else thought, and settled into your desk chair, easily finding a rhythm as you started scribbling through your work. 

Alhaitham stood there for a long second before he snapped himself out of his stupor, sliding the headphones on and settling onto the couch, propping his head up with an arm and closing his eyes to give them a rest. 

His immediate thought was that you wanted something from him, and consequently wanted him in your debt, but as he glanced at you through squinted eyes, he discarded this notion. The fact that you weren’t paying any attention to him gave him relief, you weren’t analyzing him to make sure he was grateful, and he was finally getting his first reprieve of the day. Although he was very much caught off guard by your kindness, it was much appreciated. 

Alhaitham couldn’t help by briefly think of why this kindness was unusual to him; as a child growing up, acting more adult than boy, not being able to stand loud conversations, not being able to tolerate eating soups or bread that was soggy, he was called a difficult child by those who looked after him - his teacher, his neighbor, but never his grandmother. She always retained a kindness, simply saying his brain worked in a different way than her own, so of course he had different ways of acting and different ways of thinking. 

Alhaitham couldn’t help but also come to the hypothesis that you too were different like him; how else would you have spotted him shutting down whereas everyone else saw his normal, stoic exterior? How else would you have been able to help? Or give him peace and quiet for once when everyone seemed to clamor for his approval today? It made him appreciate your quiet presence, diligently scanning through papers and signing as needed, all the more. 

[staar5384]

When All He Had Was You

kaveh x gn!reader; angst, hurt/no comfort, brief mentions of sex

an~ it’s more of a one sided x reader, but i still called it an x reader to make it easier for myself. my b

~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaveh had lost just about everything in his life; his parents, the original Palace of Alcazarzaray, his home, everything. Yet there was always one constant in his life; you.

You had found Kaveh sobbing by the decayed wreckage of his magnum opus.

Having lived nearby, and having to deal with the aftermath of the Withering’s devastating affects, you found the blond curled up at what used to be the front steps of his most prized creation.

You approached him, and thought at first he was incredibly embarrassed to be seen as such a mess, you offered him such comfort. You soothed him with reassurances, held him in your arms as he just let his sorrows wash away in the flood of tears pouring from his eyes.

After that day, you two became inseparable. You did everything. You supported him through his stupid decision to put himself in debt to rebuild the Palace of Alcazarzaray. Why? Because he was your best friend, and the joy that crossed his face after seeing the gorgeous mansion in all its glory was all you needed.

Of course, with all the debt, and having no home, he needed to move. You didn’t live close enough to the Akademiya, which meant he had to accept the offer given to him by an old friend, Alhaitham.

The first few months of him living there you weren’t allowed over. You never understood why, but you assumed it had to do with his new roommate. Whenever Alhaitham was brought up, all Kaveh did was complain. He complained about his bad attitude, his lack of letting him inside his own house when the poor boy left his keys at home, the unnecessary and cruel comments he made against Kaveh.

When the blond finally did allow you over, you got to meet Alhathiam and it was almost an instant connection. Even though Kaveh seemed to hate the guy, you found yourself enthralled by him, and him with you.

When Kaveh wasn��t around, you’d sneak over to visit Alhaitham privately, though his cold and reserved demeanor never broke. It was originally disheartening until the day he confessed his feelings for you in his own special way.

“Why was Kaveh the one who stumbled across you?” Alhaitham grumbled one evening. You were both curled up on the couch while Alhaitham read and you drew.

“I’m sorry?” You asked him in confusion.

“I mean, why didn’t I find you first? I would have made you mine already,” He flipped to the next page in his book. He spoke so nonchalantly for someone making such bold claims.

Your heart missed a beat as he spoke. You reached a hand up to clutch your heart, “You mean that?”

He nodded, still not looking up from the piece of literature in front of him.

“So what’s stopping me from being yours?” You asked.

“Nothing I suppose.”

“So then I’m yours.”

Alhaitham nodded, moving his arm from his side to wrap around you, “I like the sound of them,” Finally, he placed the book down on the coffee table. He leaned forward, kissing you softly.

You melted, the kiss softer and more gentle than you imagined. You kissed him back, and things quickly escalated from there.

That night you had fucked on that couch, and that night you became an official couple. However, you decided to keep it a secret from Kaveh, as to not upset him.

More months went by where you two secretly met, but the secret was harder and harder to keep. You spent less time with Kaveh, disappearing for days at a time, then returning with whatever lame excuse you could come up with.

It wasn’t until one day Kaveh came home early from work. He was ready to sleep, push aside his worries and rest his fried brain. Then he heard your voice from the kitchen.

At first he thought the exhaustion was driving him crazy, but then your laughter rang through the rest of the house and he instantly recognized it.

Quietly, the blond approached the kitchen. Why hadn’t you told him you’d be here?

When he turned the corner, he found you tucked safely in Alhaitham’s arms as you two whispered and giggled amongst yourselves.

“What the fuck?” Kaveh said in disbelief.

It was almost like he was in some sick and twisted nightmare. You, his best friend, his confidant, the person he loved was cradled in the arms of his shit ass roommate.

You were startled by the voice, immediately pushing yourself away from Alhaitham, “K-Kaveh..!”

“What is going on here?”

“W-We were just…”

“We were trying to enjoy a moment alone,” Alhaitham crossed his arms. “But of course the noisy roommate returned.”

Kaveh felt his heart pounding in his chest, the throbbing almost too painful for him to handle. Tears formed in his amber eyes, “Why?” His voice cracked.

“Kaveh, listen I-” You tried to speak, but the blond cut you off.

“Out of everyone, my roommate!? The person who has done nothing, but berate me!”

“I know it looks bad, but Kaveh I never meant to hurt you!” All the guilt that had been festering these few months was bubbling in your stomach, making you nauseous as bile rised in your throat.

“The one thing I had was you. You were my friend, my companion. Alhaitham has everything! The money, the looks, the friends, the career. He has everything I don’t!” He was crying, hot tears streaming down his flushed cheeks. “But I had you,” His voice was nothing more than a whisper.

You were stunned. Kaveh had never confessed this insecurity of his to you. You never realized he was jealous of what Alhaitham had; and now the man had you.

Kaveh turned and left without another word to you. He ignored your pleads and calls for him to come back, to let you explain yourself. Bullshit. It was all bullshit.

He made sure to grab his house key as his slipped out the front door, and went down to the tavern to hopefully drink himself dead.

[goggles-mcgee]

The Scribe Who Didn't Like Musicals

This idea has been sitting in my drafts for, idk how long now, so I just thought I'd share it.

Tighnari had been visited and called upon more times in this past week than any time he can remember. The people of Sumeru are experiencing a very weird...illness. It all started with a leyline as most weird things do. It happened to a party of Adventures' Guild members, some Akademiya students and professors, and some poor unfortunate people who got stupidly curious plus a sprinkle of those with bad timing. No one knew or, rather, no one admitted who activated the leyline but activated it was, and all those around it and all those in a 25 mile radius were splashed with what could only be described a blue non-sentient slime.

The slime itself held no elemental properties like they usually did, nor did it look like normal slime concentrate. But they did find out if it was touched with bared skin, it affected those who touched it as well. Luckily, Tighnari hadn't been affected, though they still didn't know what it would do. So far, the only recorded symptoms were high fevers and sniffles. Or at least that's what the called in doctors said.

But then...then things got weirder. It started being reported that those who were affected would spontaneously burst into song and dance, whether they wanted to or not. And many were reported to sound...angelic even if they had sang like a dying cat before the weird slime thing. Sometimes, their songs were accompanied by broadcasted illusions. Those seemed to be a rare addition to the affliction though.

At first, this wasn't something to panic about, but the things people sang about started to get....very personal and something they probably wouldn't have admitted to if they were in sound mind. When people saw others singing out secrets, many infected tried to hold in the singing, and that's when their symptoms got worse they got sicker and sicker the longer they held in their song. There was one reported death so far, but it was that death that pushed the rest of the unaffected of Sumero to call in help from other doctors, alchemists, hell, even some adepti.

Those who found the illness amusing in the beginning started to fear it. There was an incident where a high-ranking official in the Corps of Thirty started bringing people into his office and sang about how he wanted his wife to choke him while he....anyway it wasn't pretty and many came out a little more than traumatized if they happened not to get infected themselves. They still didn't know how it was spreading without the slime being present, but it was being worked on, as well as a cure.

That all would be fine if Kaveh hadn't been among those first infected. He was refusing and doing his best not to sing. It was affecting him hard, and he was so very sick that Tighnari was scared for his best friend, oh, and also for Alhaitham, who looked so worried for Kaveh that he might fall sick himself. But of course, Kaveh was oblivious to it.

Tighnari, Alhaitham, Cyno, Collei, and even Faranak, Kaveh's mother begged him to just sing. He still refused. He even stopped talking all together. Then something happened, Tighnari didn't know if it was Faranak's crying pleads or Tighnari's, but he suspects it was something else, someone else. He had seen Alhaitham visiting by himself, and it was after one of these visits that Kaveh started singing. And it was like once he started, he couldn't stop.

At first, it was little things, like about his frustration of the past, frustration with his mother for forgetting about him despite the fact he also sung about he he didn't blame he. He sang about how much he loved his friends, how much Alhaitham frustrated him.

They all did their best not to overreact, Alhaitham seemed like he was suffering the most from all this. Then Kaveh sang how he loved Alhaitham and was glad they were friends again or well friendlier. He sang about he wishes they were more but knows Alhaitham doesn't feel the same.

That day was a rough one....Kaveh completely shut down after that one and barricaded himself in his room and stopped talking. It took Alhaitham breaking in through Kaveh's window and him shouting at Kaveh that he loved him back. It took a while for Kaveh to believe him and more for him to sing again.

It was the final song he sang before a cure was found that hurt them all. His friends had always known about his self-esteem issues and his generosity that seemed to harm him as much as it could. From the lyrics, Tighnari called the song "Writing on the Wall" in his head and oh how it broke his heart, especially when his friend seemed to be one of those people who also displayed illusions to accompany his songs. The sight of all the red x's and the sight of his friend hammering at a doll of himself had him sobbing.

He was cured after that but had become withdrawn after, but they didn't let him isolate himself like he was prone to do. They took care of him until he was back at 100%. That's when they spoke of everything altogether. It wasn't easy, but they came out of it with stronger relationships, and now, instead of Alhaitham and Kaveh fighting all the time, they bantered or were sickingly sappy.

Even if they annoyed Tignari with how cute they were, he found he was far happier now knowing how his friends felt since it was a catalyst that helped all of them talk about their problems.

Even if Alhaitham became the biggest wife-guy in all Teyvat.

♤♡◇♧

I definitely want to flesh this out more when I'm not super busy, but if anyone wants to try their hand at it, they are welcome to! Just credit me for idea. I don't know why, but my brain was begging to use my love of The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals/Starkid with my love of Genshin characters.

[intensely-reading]

Honey, you're familiar (like my mirror years ago)

Word Count: 25.3k words (1/1 Chapters)

Relationship: Alhaitham/Kaveh

Tags: Canon Divergence (as in, they are not roommates in this one), Exes to Lovers, Relationship Study, fluff and light angst, lot of reminiscing and remembering—revisiting habits of what once was, I'm very heavy with my random facts as metaphors in this one

Summary:

When Kaveh first agreed to let Nilou set him up on a blind date, he didn’t think it would end up like this. Him, sitting in Puspa Cafe, fingers lightly tapping the side of his cup—and Al-Haitham, the Acting Grand Sage of the Akademiya, a decade older than Kaveh remembers and a decade more unfamiliar.

Read it here!

Author's Comments:

Before writing this story, I was reading a lot of childhood friends to lovers stories (for a different ship in a different fandom) and it reminded me of how specific the atmosphere of a story is when the two characters have known each other since they were young. I wanted to emulate that in this story here.

There's a certain style of writing that I enjoy reading where the author drops little facts one character knows about the other (sort of throwaway lines) whenever something small happens. Those lines end up speaking volumes of how well these characters know each other. I wanted to try and mimic that too. A lot of the times my stories focus on the present (i.e. what's happening in the plot), so this time around, I wanted to write about the present in the context of the past.

There's a lot of random facts in here that I was trying to link together to make the whole story feel a little more nerdy, but I'm not sure how well I accomplished that. One of these days, I'd like to try that again. I really liked adding those little details to it 🥺

[eneriology]

selfishness

[silenceonset]

It’s been exactly 7 years since Kaveh’s mother left him behind in Sumeru.

Each year on this day, Kaveh is a little quieter than usual, a little more distracted than usual.

His mind is filled with what-ifs, regrets, and silent self-loathing.

“Stop playing with your food.”

Kaveh looks up from his plate in surprise. Alhaitham is watching him from across the table, his own plate already empty.

“Oh, sorry,” Kaveh mutters, looking down at his half-eaten fatteh. His appetite is too poor to finish it.

“I’ll wash the dishes.”

Kaveh takes his time with the dishes, finding comfort in the echo chamber of self-hatred that is his mind. He deserves this.

A pair of arms snake their way around his waist, startling him. Kaveh feels Alhaitham press a kiss to his nape. He tucks Kaveh’s messy hair behind his ear, his other hand sliding lower to Kaveh’s hip.

“Want to shower together?”

Shower sex does sound like the perfect distraction. Besides, Alhaitham has given Kaveh everything he needs and more.

Who the hell is he to say no?

“Okay.”

When they’re entangled in the steam later, Alhaitham pulls back from a deep kiss to ask Kaveh, “Up for anything in particular tonight?”

Kaveh smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Have your way with me.”

He’d expected to be bent in half and fucked senseless, pushed up against the marble wall and pounded numb.

Manhandled and abused like he so deserves. 

 What he did not expect was Alhaitham kissing every visible inch of his skin, holding him as though he might break like glass.

Whispering sweet nothings into his ear and praising him with every extra finger he slides in.

Alhaitham has never been this affectionate. Sure, they’re a couple, sure, Kaveh knows he cares, but he never knew just how much.

He never knew he could be loved like this.

Kaveh cries when he cums.

He cries and cries, hands shaking in front of his eyes, not wanting to see Alhaitham’s reaction to him in this pathetic state.

Alhaitham says nothing. He holds Kaveh up in a hug, arms still strong and unwavering even after sex.

“Was the sex that good?” He jokes, gently tracing circles on Kaveh’s back. Kaveh chuckles between sobs despite himself.

“I told you to have your way with me,” he murmurs into the crook of Alhaitham’s neck.

“I did,” Alhaitham replies easily. He sets Kaveh down on his feet and cradles Kaveh’s head in his hands, guiding it to face him.

Kaveh doesn’t have it in him to look Alhaitham in the eyes—he probably looks like shit from all the sobbing.

“Your eyes are swollen,” Alhaitham says, swiping away the tears under them. “Sleep early tonight.”

Kaveh nods obediently. He turns to step out of the shower, and Alhaitham pulls him back in.

“Do you promise?”

“Yes—”

“I don’t believe you. Sleep in my room tonight.”

Before Kaveh can react, Alhaitham sweeps him off his feet and carries him out of the shower.

“What?! Haitham!” Kaveh yelps, squirming in his arms. “Put me down!” 

 Alhaitham wordlessly releases Kaveh, who lands butt-first on the very cold marble floor.

“What is wrong with you?” Kaveh yells, scrambling to stand up. He jabs Alhaitham in the chest as he rambles.

“Why would you even drop me like that?! And don’t ask me to promise something if you aren’t going to believe me, asshole!”

Alhaitham just smiles at him.

“What?” Kaveh snaps.

“Feeling better already, I see.”

“You—” Kaveh feels his face burn red with embarrassment. Finally accepting that he has lost, he huffily towels himself off and tucks himself into one side of Alhaitham’s bed, laying on his side and pretending to sleep.

After a few minutes, he feels the mattress sink down behind him as Alhaitham gets into bed. He slings an arm over Kaveh’s body. A comforting weight, reassuring Kaveh that he’s not alone.

“Sweet dreams, Kaveh.”

Kaveh stays still for a moment, until he’s sure Alhaitham is asleep.

Then, he holds Alhaitham’s hand and kisses his palm.

“Thank you,” he breathes into it. In response, he feels a kiss against the back of his neck.

Goddamn it. He just can’t win against Alhaitham.

But then Alhaitham’s fingers curl tighter around his own.

Warmth pools in Kaveh’s chest. He intertwines their fingers and thinks to himself, “Maybe it’s for the best.”