#alexa play pagliacci

[flannelepicurean]

Sir, This is an Applebee's

Hannibal and Will have a toxic tradition of going out to dinner on the Mizumono anniversary. Will makes Hannibal take him to a terrible chain restaurant and pay for microwaved, mass-produced food with stupid theme names. But Hannibal does stupid monologues through the whole evening. Like...

Hannibal, extremely plaid: Does not the humble pollinator, in his industry, among the bright blossoms, bless us by his vigor with the fruit of the divine? With the sweetness of light?

Server, weirded out: Uh...welcome to Applebee's?

Hannibal, continuing in paisley: Ah, yes. The bee does indeed bring forth the apple as part of the sacred dance; and truly, we have been in paradise together. Tell me, Will; had we not wandered in the garden, sampled the forbidden fruit...would we be here in the bower of apples, tonight?

Will, bitterly: It's our anniversary.

Server, brightly: Oh! Congratu--

Will: no

Server: ...menus...

Hannibal, pinstripes: The Ouroboros is traditionally depicted consuming his own tail; however, Celtic imagery incorporating knotwork brings to mind--

Will: YOU STABBED ME.

Hannibal, plaintive: Because my heart was broken.

Will: ...I'm gonna get a well-done steak and put ketchup all over it.

Hannibal, sobbing: Wilhelm, you're no Teddy Graham, you're a monster.

Server: ...need a few more minutes...?

Will: HE WANTS THE LOADED POTATO BITES.

Hannibal, playing Pagliacci on his phone: The potato, or pomme de terre in French, the "earth apple"...

[flannelepicurean]

omg, as someone who has a small child, this is so 💯💯💯, LOL.

Lordy. Throw a complex emotion at that extra-small feral goblin man, and watch the meltdown UNFURL.

Flashbacks to the hour-long cycles of, "I WANT [THING]!!!” and the haggard, "Okay, here is [thing, e.g., blanket]," only to be met with, "NOOOOO!!!!!!! *SHRIEKING AND WAILING*" [Pagliacci plays in the background]. "Okay. Gotcha. We don't have to have [thing]. I see it's upsetting you, and--"

"I WANT [THING]!!!!!"

[Pagliacci again. Repeat variations until child falls over, exhausted, or somehow just magically snaps out of it.]

But yeah. Whoo-wee. If that scruffle-muffin was angry AND lonely? Yee-owza. Adora-devastation.

Vegeta would be a angy cry baby with the amount of pure anger his small child body has to contain

[oddverse]

Alexa play Pagliacci / Act 1 - Recitar!... Vesti la giubba

[cipheramnesia]

Alexa, this is so sad, play Pagliacci.