#alex is asleep so i get to be sappy on main

[sentientsky]

me, crying purely out of a deep affection for my friend: haha whag

[doc-pickles]

happy anniversary!!!

hello friends, a sappy order of business for the day. one year ago today I posted the first chapter of ‘it’s nothing funny just to talk’. that fic and the outpouring of love from the jolex fandom is what got me to keep writing, keep posting, and eventually got me to start the jolex group chat and find a group of people who I love deeply and consider some of my closest friends. today is a very special anniversary and i’m so excited to be able to celebrate it.

so in honor of this super exciting day here’s another installment of my ‘it’s nothing funny just to talk’ follow up series. enjoy and thank you tons for all your love and support! also definitely didn’t post this at 11:55….

xoxo nina

“You’re going to have to quit your job.”

“Sorry what?”

“I can’t do this Alex! I need you to come back home.”

Jo’s pleading voice tugged at Alex’s heart strings, wishing desperately that he could come back home. It was his first day back at work from paternity leave and he’d hated leaving Jo and Annie earlier that morning. Annie had been going through a growth spurt and eating more frequently, leaving Jo exhausted and worn down during the day from being up all night nursing. Alex did his best to help her out during the day but now that he was working again he knew she was probably struggling.

“You’ve been gone for five hours and I’m pretty sure she’s been nursing for four and half of those. I tried to get up to pee and she just wouldn’t stop screaming,” Jo sounds like she’s on the verge of screaming as well, quiet sobs echoing across the phone line. “I can’t do this, I’m not supposed to be a mom. I don’t know why I thought I could do this.”

“Babe, you’re the best mom I’ve ever met. I’m sure you’re doing fi-,” a loud wail interrupts Alex’s statement as Annie begins to cry. “Put me on speaker.”

As Jo wrestles with both the phone and Annie, Alex sneaks off to a quieter hallway of the peds ward. He looks around to make sure none of his colleagues are close by as he hears Jo attempting to calm Annie down again.

“Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long,” as soon as Alex began to sing the old tune Annie’s cries started to lessen. He paused for a moment, continuing again when Annie began to fuss. “And wouldn't it be nice to live together, in the kind of world where we belong?”

As Alex continued to sing, Annie’s cries began to get quieter until they were nonexistent. Finally he heard Jo let out a sigh as she spoke up, “She’s finally asleep in her bassinet. Thank you, I was starting to lose my mind.”

“Go take a shower and then take a nap. I won’t be too late today,” Alex’s eyes flicked down to the golden band on his left hand, trying to convince himself that the perfect life he was living wasn’t a dream. “I love you, I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you too. And thank you for calming her down,” Jo’s voice finally sounded calm as she let out a sigh of relief. “I’m glad you’re my husband.”

“And I’m glad you’re my wife,” Alex and Jo exchanged goodbyes before he hung up, turning to go back towards the main area of the pediatrics floor.

“So do you normally sing the Beach Boys to everyone you talk to or is that just a Tuesday thing,” Alex almost jumps six feet in the air at the sound of Arizona’s voice, turning to eye the blonde who’s wearing a wide smile. “Go home, I know you just got back but it sounds like you’re needed much more there than you are here.”

“Robbins I’m fine-“

“You might be fine but your wife is probably struggling at home,” Arizona shoots him an understudying look before turning back to the chart in her hands. “Besides we’re over staffed here anyways, you going home helps us out.”

Alex only hesitated for a moment before squeezing Arizona into a tight hug and heading towards the attendings lounge to grab his wallet and keys. Any other day he would’ve fought back and tried to stay for the rest of his shift, but deep down he knew that he really was needed more at home.

After stopping to pick up a pizza Alex made his way home, grinning to himself as he walked through the door of the loft. Jo was laid across their bed, one hand resting on Annie’s chest as she laid in her bassinet. Both girls were fast asleep, oblivious to the fact that he’d just walked through the door. Setting down the pizza on the counter, Alex busied himself picking up around the loft and straightening things out.

“Alex? What’re you doing here?”

Jo’s voice prompts him to turn around, moving from the couch where he was folding laundry to the empty side of the bed, “Over staffed at work, Robbins sent me home. But it looks like you two have it under control.”

“She’s gonna be up soon to eat,” Jo laid her head in Alex’s lap, his fingers threading through her hair as her eyes closed. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost… 2 o’clock. Hey look at that,” Alex looked down to his phone, a smirk lighting up his face. “It’s our anniversary.”

While they truly hadn’t gotten together until Jackson and April’s wedding, Alex and Jo had made it a tradition to celebrate their relationship a few weeks before on the date that Jo had first texted him. Now though, on their third anniversary, both of them had forgotten about the day.

“I knew I was forgetting something,” Jo groaned, looking up at Alex. “I’m sorry I didn’t do anything for you, I can barely remember to shower everyday.”

���It’s okay, I forgot too,” Alex leaned down to press a kiss against Jo’s forehead, grinning as he looked over at Annie. “We have a newborn, we’re allowed to drop the ball on these things.”

“Next year though, I’m gonna go all out,” Jo grinned, letting a groan out just a moment later when Annie began to fuss. “What did I tell you?”

Alex moved to grab Annie, watching as she blinked up at him in fascination. The little girl in his arms was everything to him, her and Jo being the center of his whole world.

“Annie say thank you to mommy for getting drunk and texting daddy,” Alex grinned through Jo’s protests, continuing to talk to the infant. “If she hadn’t done that none of us would be here right now. And I don’t know about you but I really like having you and mommy around.”

“Well when you put it like that, you’re welcome,” Jo leaned up and pressed a kiss to Alex’s cheek. “I guess I made a good call, right Doctor Evil Spawn?”

“Of course you did Bar Princess.”

[zephyrine-gale]

Can you give us some details on your ocs? They seem interesting and cute too...❤

of course!!!!! I have sosososo many alignment charts and dumb character notes on my ocs (and zero plot!! lmao) 

xii noitome | ralts | 18 | 5′0″ | baby sword lesbian !!she’s the protag of my nuzlocke!! has achromatopsia and can’t see colors, but her trace ability senses emotions in colors! and that’s how she sees, people look very colorful to her (her name is literally “see” and “emotion” spelled backwards wink wonk :3c ) she’s from hoenn, lived in kalos, and came to sinnoh to do research on the lake guardians (specifically mesprit, pkmn of emotion!!) tries to act based on logic but very emotionally driven; she’s a people pleaser too, wants to get on people’s good side. big bookworm, loves planting berries, loves baking sweets, zones out a bit too much, favorite color is bright yellow (bc it’s associated w happiness for her!) also really likes swords; she manipulates her psychic powers to resemble blades. 

the rest are under the cut bc I have a bit to say abt them + lots of pictures :> !!!!

relos solux | shinx | 19 | 5′5″ | hopeless romantic disaster biprecious ray of sunshine!!!! his name is literally solar sunlight,,,,, sun sun,,,, the moon moon of my nuzlocke, my favorite boy……from jubilife city, just wants to get money so he can move out with his sister bc his family is,, very pushy with academics and not really emotionally supportive. they want him to take over their business in the city but he just really wants to move to floaroma town and sell flowers or smth sdjgjkknows asl and sometimes signs when he’s in a verbal conversation and gets really flustered, loves listening to lofi (idk how his ears fit under headphones btw, we dont talk about that lmao), very easy to get along with, a bit of a pushover but very sweet. When he refocuses his eyes, they look like a calibrating camera apeture lens. he can make his eyes glow too :>

zel saelis | floatzel | 27 | 6′2″ | genderfluid big dick energy gay lesbian (currently goes by she/her in the story!)powerful dance babe hobo in-story. lost her wallet while surfing down a river during a trip like a dumbass but plays it off as intentional and conveniently joins the team. main motivation for fighting is that she misses her gf and wants to see her gf, absolutely sappy and horny on main for gf. will text “hey baby gorilla” “I MEANT BABY GIRL” to her gf, still somehow comes off as smooth“take it easy, but take it”, very chill, networking skills are on point (knows a looot of big name gym leaders in the region), she carried my team in-game so I love her very much mvp !!!

Team Vince!!! aka rival team (’v’ )!!

vince ginisci | piplup | 19 | 5′4″ | distinguished gay, a suave graceful penguin boyone of professor rowan’s kids, top of his class, absolute nerd (very big on planning strategies for gym battles, team synergy, etc), resting bitch face he’s basically this meme, but replaced w “professor lecturing about something they care about” and “me, taking notes”

mom friend but doesn’t say it, calm but will absolutely throw down for his siblings and friends. 

I ship him with relos, they’re both in pining hell except vince is more chill and casual about it while relos just. ajdclkgfdflkjhgdfkjhglhkjl !!!!!! every time he sees vince :’> (relos can be smooth when he wants to be though!! after practicing a lot of times in front of a mirror sajdkgj)

i love them they’re basically all I draw aside from these two (who I’ll probably make another post for bc I designed them very recently and yet they have so much more art than my other more important characters asdjffjkg. they’re dumb emotional environmental science nerds)

eli rosado | budew | 17 | 5′2″ | distinguished bi gre up in the trophy garden/mansion. his father is a fashion designer, rich af, never let him do anything bc other people can do it for him, so he’s in high key teenage rebellion and wants out, tiny ball of anger, will leave you on read/seen at 2:30am, embodiment of  >:3c (vince gets him out of the place and on his team !!)will woo the delivery boys that send stuff to the mansion romeo & juliet balcony stylesleep???? who is she???????? will stay up for extremely long periods of time, drinks poison, takes a bunch of stun spores, poison powders, all of those status inducing moves, just to test the limits of his natural cure ability (not a good life decision, he’s working on it asdjfgjk)

alex mune | munchlax | between 19-21 idk yet (i lost my age refs for all of them and theirs is one I definitely don’t remember,,,) | 6′2″ | panromantic acebiggest moods are: sleep is godly, lets get this bread, and the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cellthey’d rather be asleep than do anything, will wake up at 5pm and sleep for more than half the day. if they can avoid doing things then heck yeah that’s what they’re gonna do; used to people not talking to them and not having an opinion on anything, but they’re also an introvert that loves to talk ;v;loves puns, hypotheticals, asking random questions. they’re basically a shitpost generator asdjgkj

I have a whole bunch of other characters for this nuzlocke (and a few I haven’t chibi faced yet) so if you want to know about them !!!! let me know I’m v happy to talk about my dumb children :3cthey’re all I’ve been drawing for the past few months (along w my friend’s ocs bc I love them too)

Main team:

gym leaders/e4/team galactic:

[gloriousstudentfury-love]

The Death of Mrs. Resnick ✰

y/n’s POV

I sat squished between Alex and his baseball gear, on the way to one of his games. I wasn't my plan to go, but Penelope and Alex didn't really give me much of a choice.

"Mom, I'm gonna miss the first pitch. Go faster!" Alex groaned

"Alex, you know Mrs. Resnick doesn't go faster. Unless we're going downhill, then she might not stop." Penelope sighed, grilling tighter on the steering wheel

"We are so late. Just try." He complained, slouching further down into his seat

She slammed the petal to go faster and the car started rattling. I held on to my seat with slight fear of stopping in the middle of LA traffic.

"Mom, I smell gas." Elena said

"All right." Penelope nodded, whipping out a bottle of air freshener to get rid of the smell

"Wow, That smells nice. What is that?" I asked, slightly sniffing the air

"It's Hawaii." She smiled

"Maybe the car's mad because papi stuck it with a name like Mrs. Resnick." Elena joked

"You know your papi named her after a hot teacher he had a crush on." Penelope informed her kids

"Our math teacher is pretty hot." I said16

Alex flicked me and I flicked him back. We got into a flicking war until he decided to speak up about the car, again.

"Yeah, but by now I bet Mr. Resnick's traded her in for a younger model." Alex said, making me smack off his hat

"That's not funny papito." Penelope snapped

"It's not funny. Society treats middle aged women shamefully. I read a study online-" Elena started, prepared to go on a full on rant

"Okay, who wants to hear some tunes?" Penelope interrupted

We all groaned, as she began to play a sappy live song. Penelope smiled at the song choice and began to sing along. Elena grew annoyed with the obnoxious music and paused it.

"Aw, right before the good part." Penelope complained

"There is no good part." I commented

"That CD has been stuck in this car my whole life." Elena said

"Uh, excuse me? It's a cassingle." Penelope said, offended by Elena's words

All of a sudden the car began to make sounds started slowing down. I looked out the window to notice the other cars attempting to pass the one we were in.

"Why are we slowing down? Who turned on the AC? You know Mrs. Resnick can't handle that!" Penelope freaked

"I'm sorry, but it's 90 degrees and you won't let us roll the windows down." Elena apologized with a small sigh

"Because then they don't go back up. And it's only a crime to leave children in a hot car if it's parked. I looked it up!" Penelope continued to rant

The car stopped and we all sighed as we sat in the middle of the street.

"Great. Okay, guys. You know the drill." Penelope spoke

We all held hands in prayer, while Penelope tried to fix the car the broken down car. She turned the key in the ignition and the engine started. We all cheered in happiness as the car began to more forward again.

"See? Mrs. Resnick's still got it." Penelope said

The engine sputtered one last time before it finally died out, with no chance of starting it up again.

"It's probably 20 minutes until the tow truck gets here. So, what should we do to pass them time?" Penelope asked after she'd called a company and let them know about where we were

She smirked before she started to play her music again. I sighed but ultimately let a smile take over my face when I realized that me and Alex were still holding hands from our prayer.. Maybe I do like my best friend, as much as I'd rather not admit.

____________

Later, we walked into the Alvarez apartment to find Lydia on the couch with a face mask on. I've used plenty of face masks before, so I wasn't to bothered to find the woman's face covered.

"Oh, hello." Lydia greeted

"What are you doing, Mami?" Penelope asked with a small laugh

"This is supposed to make your skin glow. It's called a shit mask." Lydia said

We all laughed at the way she pronounced it, while I took a seat in the arm chair besides the couch.

"Mami, 'sheet'. It's called a sheet mask." Penelope said, putting emphasis on the proper way to pronounce it

"That's what I said, shit." She repeated, finding no difference in the way we pronounced it vs the way she did

"So, would you say you are sheet-faced right now?" Elena joked

"Stop! Or the sheet will hit the fan." Penelope joined in

"You are back so late, I decided to have a little me time." Lydia commented

"Can you feel it working? Hey, guys." Schneider greeted, coming out from the kitchen wearing a similar mask.

His phone alarm went off, making me jump a bit. He took it out of his pocket, and smiled at the older woman on the couch.

"And we are 29 again." Schneider smiled as they took off their masks, "Where you guys been? And why didn't you text me?"

I knew his last question was pointed at me, so I gave him a small smile, "My phone died."

"Mrs. Resnick broke down again and had to be towed to the mechanic." Elena said, referring to the first question he had asked

"Hector's lookin at it now." Penelope said

"Oh, how is Hector? I feel like I haven't seen him in days." Lydia said

"Oh, papito. What happened to your pants?" Elena asked, smirking at the tear in Alex's pants

"I ripped them getting out of the trunk." Alex said, glaring at me as I laughed

"You keep him in the trunk now?" Lydia asked

"No, the doors got stuck again so we all had to climb out through the back." Penelope said

"It's terrible. Now the whole team calls me "Butt-Trunk Boy." Alex groaned

"They could've call you 'junk in the trunk.' It was right there." I added, still laughing at his accident

The cell phone rang and Penelope picked it up, letting us know it was Hector. Not wanting to bother myself with information about the car, I made my to the kitchen to get some food.

When I came back in, Penelope was in the middle of telling the story of her first date with their father.

"He even wrote our initials in a little heart in the bill. I still have it somewhere." She said, making me smile even though I hadn't heard the rest of the story

"Aw, you never take us to Malibu." Alex said

"That's what you got from that story?" I asked, popping some of the grapes I stole into my mouth

"Yeah, but the good news is you're getting a new car." Schneider said

"Oh, sure, I'll just have the butler pick it up." She sarcastically replied

"Oh, butlers work at the estate." Schneider said laughing, "Chauffeurs pick up the car."

"Lupe, if you need money for a car, I am here to help. I will teach dance again! It is a gift that I have withheld from the world far too long." Lydia declared with a large smile

"She taught me how to salsa. She was amazing." Schneider agreed

"I do it for the joy. You owe me $30." Lydia said, pointing at the tall man

"Okay, well, why don't we take public transportation and reduce our carbon footprint? It's the best way to save money, and besides, I don't want you to have to go into my college fund." Elena said

"College fund? You see that dish of change by the door? That's your college fund. Well, not the quarters, cause I need that for laundry." Penelope laughed

"Elena, mi niña, a family needs a car. In Cuba, my best memories are the long rides with my papi in a Chevy the size of this apartment. It was glorious. His beloved daughter on one side and on the other, his beloved bottle of rum." Lydia said

"That sounds dangerous." Alex commented

"No, no, no, no, we didn't have seatbelts back then. We would just roll out quick." Lydia insisted

"Well, I'm going to start taking public transportation, you know, to help atone for the environmental devastation that my ancestors and their gas guzzlers so cruelly left to this earth." Elena said

"Why does everything have to be a crusade that is also annoying?" Lydia asked

"Abuelita is right. We need a car, but we can't afford a car. Unless we get a crazy good deal, which means we're screwed, because... car salesman are scary." Penelope said

"But not to you. You were in the Army!" Alex said

"Yeah, you're always saying you're a badass." Elena agreed

"I am a badass! But I'm also kind of a scaredy cat, you know, because .... I never bought a car before, you know? That salesman is gonna see me coming a mile away. Then he's gonna do that thing where he talks to the guy. And then they're gonna day something about floor mats, and then blah blah blah, I wake up in an ice tub, because someone took my kidneys." Penelope said

I shut my eyes and zoned out the rest of their conversation.

____________

The next day, Schneider, Alex, and I all came back from Alex's baseball game. Again, I was dragged from ballet practice to the game, because Schneider insisted he needed moral support. Not for Alex, but himself.

"Mom, today was the best!" Alex grinned, slamming open the door

"Ooh!" Penelope cheered, noticing all of our happy expressions

"Everyone saw me in Schneider's Range Rover and thought I was a total pimp!" Alex laughed

I rolled my eyes at the boy's excitement. You'd think he'd be happy that they won the game, but he cared more for his bragging rights.

"Don't say pimp or you'll get grounded!" Penelope snapped

"Seriously, Mom. His car is amazing. The seats warm up. You wouldn't think you'd want a warm butt... but you totally do." Alex said

"It's all the best parts of peeing your pants without any wetness." Schneider said

"You should've seen Schneider. The other parents were obsessed." I said, finally joining in on their conversation

"Connie Merkelson told me she's never seen someone slice apples with such grace." Schneider said as me and Alex headed to his room.

______________

Schneider has fallen asleep after we finished watching a bunch of romantic comedies, so I decided to go see my friend. Knowing everyone else was probably asleep, I took Schneider's main key and quietly opened the door

"Alex!!" I whispered knocking on his door

"What?" He asked gently opening it, so I could come in

"Schneider fell asleep and.. I don't think that needs a further explanation." I said, taking a spot on the end of his bed

"That's not as bad as the signs that my Abuelita put around town." He said, shuddering at the memory

"Also, here's your sweatshirt back. I borrowed it that day you spilt food all over me, so here." I said handing him the grey hoodie

"Nah. Keep it. Looks better on you anyway." He smiled going back to the homework that sat on his desk

I blushed lightly at his comment, but brushed it off before composing myself once again

"Did your mom get a new car?" I asked, changing the subject

"Uh huh, it's no Range Rover but it's nice." He smiled

"Mhm." I said, flopping onto his bed, "Wake me up if I fall asleep."

______________

Yeet! Update! Also, what are some other shows you guys would like to see? I need ideas. 

[if-you-built-yourself-a-myth]

Yellow Curtains - Chapter One

Lucas Lallemant happens upon several people online who appear to be living lives quite similar to his own-- maybe even the same. (Or, all the alternate Isaks find each other online when Even becomes famous)

Lucas first saw the picture on his Instagram explore page, at three in the morning when Eliott was with his parents. He should have been sleeping, he supposed, but over the previous week they’d spent together his body learned to gel with Eliott’s at night. He could only sleep with his arm draped over Eliott’s midsection. This problem should have been fixable; he tried to wrap his arm around a pillow, or a bundle of comforter, but the fabric didn’t feel as warm and didn’t have a chest that rose and fell with each rhythmic breath. It wasn’t the same.

Hence, a late-night/early-morning browsing session.

He followed a lot of actors, meaning his explore page feed usually filled with photos from upcoming movies and low-budget indie films from all over the world. Eliott loved that kind of thing. He could sit and watch foreign language dramas, unsubtitled, for hours and hours commenting on the use of color in each scene and the smoothness with which each actor spoke. Lucas had never been one for cinema he couldn’t understand. He appreciated the concepts, and English wasn’t so bad to hear, but it wasn’t his niche.

Really, the only reason he followed so many actors in the first place was to keep up with Eliott’s obsessive interest in obscure titles with equally obscure directors and plot lines. He didn’t know half of the people whose pictures he liked.

 Well, he knew a few. Xavier Dolan posted a new photo. Lucas liked it without much thought. He would always appreciate the man who inspired his and Eliott’s art of a reunion, even if he’d never stayed awake through the entirety of one of his movies.

“It’s in French!” Eliott had yelled at him. “No subtitles! It’s in French!”

“Not my thing,” he’d replied.

“Dubstep wasn’t your thing either, and look at you now.”

“I don’t actually like dubstep, I just love you.”

Xavier Dolan earned his like for the sake of that conversation alone. Lucas treasured when he had the opportunity to tell Eliott how much he loved him in some sappy way. He scrolled down past Xavier Dolan’s post and into a section of related ones, probably all from similar directors. 

In the midst of his browsing, he found his attention drawn to a photo of two blond boys, standing together in a location tagged as Oslo, Norway. Call it fate, call it intuition, but he knew for sure something was different about these two people.

He tapped the photo so it took up most of the screen. One of the boys wore a gray sweatshirt similar to the one Lucas himself had in his closet. The other sported a jean jacket with a small pansexual flag pin on the pocket. The latter boy’s posture reminded Lucas of someone, although he wasn’t quite sure just who. He oozed confidence. If you looked at his face though, he seemed quite shy and timid. Lucas scrolled downward to read the caption.

 isakyaki Congratulations to my wonderful boyfriend, Even Bech Næshiem, on directing his first full-length movie. I love you and cannot wait to see everything else you have to offer.

 Even. The name stirred something in Lucas. He looked at the picture again. Which of the two was Even? Was it the taller boy with the jean jacket or the smaller one in the sweatshirt? He felt like he’d seen them both before, if only in passing, and surprised himself by feeling a tinge of resentment towards the shorter. Maybe they fought sometime? There was that whole mess with Alex, Charles, and those boys a while ago. He clicked into his Instagram messages and shot one to Eliott.

 lucallemant: Do we know Even Bech Næshiem?

 Eliott took a millisecond to reply.

 srodulv: he’s a director

lucallemant: yeah, but do we know him

srodulv: no???

 Huh. Go figure. Lucas turned his focus away from the photo. He accessed his home feed.

Emma and Alex were together tonight (or rather, last night) judging by Emma’s Instagram story. From what he heard from the girls on Sunday, they decided to be a legitimate couple instead of just a wild fling. He wondered what Yann thought about this development. The guilt was definitely still there, from when he made deliberate plans to break Yann and Emma up, because if he hadn’t said anything to Camille about the kiss then they would still be together. He was friends with Alex, sure, but the guy cheated. He’d done it once, and he would again. Lucas didn’t want Emma getting herself hurt anymore.

Chloe posted something yesterday afternoon, too. She must have gone out with Yann to some coffee shop within walking distance. Another thing to feel guilty about. Even though he didn’t totally forgive Chloe for telling everyone she could about him and Eliott, he knew he’d really screwed her over by pretending to be in love with her for so long. Regret-central on Instagram tonight.

He couldn’t force himself to move through everyone else’s posts. He’d probably seen the rest, and if he hadn’t then he obviously didn’t care very much about the people involved.

Instead, he looked back at the picture of Even from earlier.

Logically, he knew he couldn’t know either boy. They both lived in Norway, and one was supposedly somewhat famous, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d seen them both before somewhere—and not just in a foreign language movie.

 lucallemant: did we know him at one point?

srodulv: no

lucallemant: are you sure?

srodulv: pretty sure. why?

lucallemant: he looks familiar

srodulv: there are a lot of people on earth

srodulv: maybe you’re confusing him for somebody else

lucallemant: who would I be confusing him for?

srodulv: I don’t know

 Lucas looked into the poster’s profile. Okay, so the shorter boy in the photo was Isak. Even was the taller, then, the one with the crazy hair and the sweet smile. The familiar one. He scrolled through Isak’s photos of the two of them together, noting at one point a girl who looked a lot like Emma. Something fishy was happening here. He’d never seen these people before, and yet it was as if he had seen them every day for his entire life.

 srodulv: Could be the dynamic

lucallemant: what do you mean?

srodulv: they have our dynamic lol

srodulv: the artist and the grumpy one

srodulv:  ❤️ ❤️

lucallemant: haha

 Lucas turned off his phone and sat back against his headboard. Eliott had a point. He could recognize Even because he seemed similar to Eliott in interest and posture-- that’s what it was. His phone buzzed.

 srodulv: here, you can really see it here

 Eliott attached a YouTube link for something. An interview.

Lucas tapped to pull up the interview on YouTube and clicked on the subtitles. If he was to put them in French, they would be auto-generated. Auto-generated subtitles were never trustworthy, so he’d just have to watch the interview with English ones and fumble through the gist of what each person said.

“Where did the two of you meet?” asked the interviewer.

Isak laughed and turned to Even. “Do you want to tell him?”

“Kosegruppa,” said Even. “Thank you, Vilde.”

“And how did you get the chance to talk with him?”

Again, both Even and Isak shared a glance and a giggle.

“He took all the paper towels,” said Isak. “All of them. Then he asked if I needed one, handed me one from the trash, and invited me outside to smoke a joint with him.”

Lucas paused the video. He met Eliott at a group meeting, didn’t he? He first saw Eliott sitting in the back and they made eye contact for a beautiful moment. Afterward, when they met at the bus stop, Eliott took all the candy bars and offered to smoke a joint with him. That was… similar, to say the least. He made a mental note to Google kosegruppa later. He pressed play.

“And you found that charming?” the interviewer prodded.

Isak threw an arm over Even’s shoulders and stood on tiptoe to plant a kiss on his forehead. “Of course I did. I was in love with him from the moment we locked eyes. I would have kissed him right there if it wasn’t for Emma.”

The interviewer leaned inward, closer to the two boys. “Who is Emma?”

“Emma is my ex-girlfriend.” When the interviewer looked concerned, he clarified, “It’s okay, we’re on good terms now.  Everything’s smoothed over. She sat down right next to us and started—”

“—sharing the joint!” Even finished. “It was so awkward! I couldn’t make her leave. But I guess things worked out in the end so… sorry, Emma!”

Again, Lucas paused the video. When he and Eliott were at the bus stop, the exact same thing happened with Chloe. The exact same thing. When he looked at Even’s easygoing expression again, he realized he’d seen the same one on his own boyfriend’s face dozens of times. This was starting to get a little creepy.

He closed the app before he could watch the rest, and sent another message.

 lucallemant: did you watch that interview?

srodulv: yeah

lucallemant: with subtitles?

srodulv: they didn’t have French

lucallemant: watch it

srodulv: it’s three

lucallemant: you’re not sleeping

srodulv: how do you know

lucallemant: you’re answering me

srodulv: maybe I am answering you in my sleep

lucallemant: they met the same as us. Watch the interview, please

srodulv: I can’t, I’m asleep

 If Lucas didn’t love Eliott so much, he could have strangled him.

He reopened the Instagram app to explore Isak’s profile once more. He could distinguish the main characters in Isak’s life from the posts: Even, three other boys, and the girl who reminded him of Emma. Maybe she was Emma, the Emma Isak referred to in the video interview. This was all too bizarre. He also was a part of a four-friend crew, had a tag-along in Chloe for a while, and had a first-and-only kind of boyfriend. Lives don’t get much more similar than that.

He figured he might as well send a message, ask about it. Isak probably wouldn’t even see it in his inbox, since he dated a film director and their relationship seemed to be quite popular. He would not even notice the new message on top of all the others.

Lucas typed the words into the box and hit send before he could convince himself to do otherwise.

 lucallemant: Hello, I saw your interview and it was kind of crazy. You met Even the same way I met my boyfriend, complete with an annoying intervention. If I may ask, did you ditch a double date to have your first kiss?

[lafayeet-writes]

I have a simple request! For the four main boys (Laf, Herc, John, and Alex), can you do dating head canons? If that's too many for one ask, then just Laf?

Sure! I did this one for in time period, but if you want a modern one I can do that too later!

Lafayette:

Laf is sappy as hell, he does all the cliche romance stuff with you and he doesn’t care how dorky it is

He’s also really protective of you, but tries to hide it

Whenever you hang out with the guys, they’ll sometimes teasingly flirt with you just because they know they’ll get a funny reaction with him

You always assure Lafayette that they’re teasing and even if they weren’t that you’re not interested anyways, and he just blushes and comes up with excuses for why he snapped at them, because he’s definitely not jealous

Lafayette constantly writes you love letters, even though you two have been together for a while now

It’s a bit flustering, and you always insist that it isn’t necessary, he’s already won your heart forever

He insists that despite knowing that, he feels you should constantly be reminded how beautiful and amazing you are to him because you deserve it

Hercules:

Herc tries to sing love songs to you whenever he’s drunk

He’s actually a better singer when he’s drunk than when he’s sober if you don’t count the slurred words 

He’s admitted to you that his dream is to design your wedding dress

You were a little surprised at how blunt he said it, as you two hadn’t even spoken of engagement before

Snuggling is his favorite thing to do in the winter, and since he’s always so warm its become your favorite thing to do too

It terrifies you when he starts doing spy work at first, but one day when he’s out of the tailor shop you took over his job for him

He was so proud of you, and the face you made when he told you that you made a huge contribution to the cause melted his heart

Laurens:

Sometimes you spend hours watching Laurens draw turtles

You’re not sure why he loves them so much, but he goes into such detail with them and sounds so passionate when he speaks about them

He then apologizes for boring you but he doesn’t need to, because he never does

He also always insists you tell him about your passions, even though you’re hesitant

He’s supportive of everything you do and the light in his eyes as you speak makes you feel like the luckiest woman in the world

Laurens is the one who introduced you to Lafayette, Hercules and Hamilton when you two were still friends

He later admitted that he kept them a secret for a little because he was afraid you’d end up falling for one of them

He gets suuuper embarrassed whenever it’s brought up, and becomes sheepish and pink cheeked

Whenever he’s up late writing letters to Hamilton he apologizes profusely, and always makes sure to be in bed before you fall asleep so you can fall asleep together

Hamilton:

Whenever Hamilton is away for the war efforts, he makes sure to keep you updated about every little thing going on in his life in extensive detail

As unnecessary as it is, you think it’s sweet that he wants to make sure you know everything

When you met Burr for the first time, he thought you were single and flirted with you

Laurens didn’t stop Hamilton in time

“What the hell happened here?” the pub owner yelled as he saw Burr holding a drink up to his eye

“He punched Burr, sir”

You’re left alone a lot, and one day when you were grumpy you questioned Hamilton on whether he was married to his work

“No, but I’ll be married to you soon, hopefully” 

That smooth son of a gun made it impossible to stay upset after that

He’s actually an amazing cook, and always invites you over when he has the time to just have you try whatever his new favorite food is

[fourteenacross]

okay, i have comments to give on "everyone must breathe," but in the meantime: the section from "communicable" (which i've read 500 times, btw,

Don’t worry about comments, I GET IT I am super behind on a) answering comments and b) reading and commenting on other people’s fic. Such is the holidays, etc.

COMMENTARY! YES! Here are some unfiltered thoughts on this section of fic! Please feel free to ask for elaboration if there’s anything in particular you were curious about that I didn’t hit on!

It takes John four buzzes to realize someone is calling him and a fifth to actually fumble for the phone, see it’s Alex, and pick up in a panic.

“Alexander?” he says breathlessly, his heart hammering, a million worst case scenarios screaming in his mind. It’s the middle of the night–full dark, with the heavy, still silence that means the rest of the world is dead asleep. There’s no earthly reason Alex should be calling him.

So this was one of the first scenes that I wrote in this fic. I knew really early on, when everything before the fall of their second year was going to be quick flashback scenes and nothing more, that there was a point when everyone got sick a lot and Alex had to stay with the Washingtons to avoid contaminating John. I really liked that kernel of an idea, this image I had in my head of Alex being miserable in bed and John being useless because he was too busy visiting Alex whenever he could to get anything done. That sort of morphed into the idea of Washington or Mrs. W coming in to check on Alex and finding John asleep next to his bed, which led my brain down the road of, “Okay, but why/how does he get there?” and this immediately popped into my head after.

“John?” Alex sounds slow and tired, not quite himself. “I woke up and you weren’t here and I had–I had a dream.”

He doesn’t actually sound awake, his words mumbled and slurred and quiet.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” John asks. He’s already sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes. “Are you okay?”

So, we’ve already established in this verse that Alex has recurring nightmares that he sort of blows off. They’re enough to wake him up and rattle him, but he never remembers what they’re about (he never really tries to remember what they’re about) and he’s generally very dismissive of them. John (and, hopefully, the reader) has sussed out that they’re most likely to do with Alex’s abandonment issues and fear of being alone. However, because he’s so quick to brush off his dreams, I needed to make it reasonable that he would actually call John. Having him in an unfamiliar place without John when he’s ill and upset seemed like enough of an impetus to actually imagine him calling John in the middle of the night out of that disoriented mix of fear and confusion and desperation. I think Alex probably reached for John when he woke up, was confused to find himself alone and somewhere he didn’t recognize, and too sick to call out in more than a whisper. Thus, picking up the phone.

“I’m…okay?” Alex murmurs. “I just–”

Silence.

“Did you have a nightmare?” John asks.

“I–maybe? I don’t–I think I did, I don’t…remember now. I just–you weren’t here, and I couldn’t–I thought–”

About…fuck, three years ago now? Four?…I got pneumonia and bad. Not like, hospital bad, but “ran a fever for six days” bad. It’s the sickest I’ve been in memory and whole fucking days passed in a weird fugue state. I could not think straight, I couldn’t hold conversations, I disassociated, I forgot where I was. It was really fucking weird. So, that’s where Alex is here. His brain is scrambled from fever and he knows what he wants (John) but holding onto that thought takes up all of his cognition right now. He doesn’t have enough brain power left over to answer questions or even parse them, really.

The more Alex speaks, the more confused he sounds. John slips out of bed and grabs a pair of jeans from the floor, fumbling into them one-handed.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay. You’re okay,” John says. “You’re at the Washingtons’, remember? You’re sick.”

John and Alex are a lot more traditionally affectionate now than they were in early drafts of this verse. In a deleted scene from a later story, something happens to John and Alex calls him “sweetheart” and everyone else is mute with surprise because they usually just called each other names as a form of affection. That’s sort of eroded now, to a degree–they still call each other names a lot, obvs, but they also sort of embrace some more treacley, affectionate pet names. There are still lines, though–Alex calls John “sweetheart” in a sort of exasperated way at some point in, I think, i saw the whole story unwind, and John makes fun of him. Similarly, he calls John “honey” in exasperation in the story about getting an award and John makes fun of him there, too. But, when the chips are down and John starts feeling protective, that’s where his mind goes automatically–being as genuinely soft and careful and gentle as possible, including embracing that sort of sappy pet name stuff.

“Right…right…okay.” He sounds marginally less frazzled and spacey. “I just–right. I’m sorry. I’m–why did I call you, did I wake you up? Why would I–”

“It’s fine,” John says quickly. “Do you want me to come over there?”

Alex hesitates. “No, that’s stupid,” he finally says. “I’m fine, I just–I just–woke up and…I don’t know, I’m…used to having you, and I just–” He shudders and makes a quiet, frightened noise, and John’s heart breaks.

“I know sweetheart, I know,” John says. “I’m almost dressed, I’m going to drive over, okay?”

John was not like, super cool with leaving Alex on his own at the Washingtons’ to begin with and now Alex needed him and he wasn’t there, and the logical part of his brain is saying, as he tries to pull on his jeans and listen to the phone at the same time, “You dummy, he’ll be fine, he’ll fall asleep in a second,” but it’s drowned out by the panicked part and the part that takes his loyalty to Alex super seriously. Alex is his family and he fucked up pretty badly taking care of his blood family, but he’s not going to fuck up taking care of Alex.

“You don’t–I just…woke up and…I can’t remember….”

“You don’t have to,” John says. “Don’t worry about it, you don’t have to remember. It was just a dream. You’re okay and I’m okay and it was just a dream.”

This is honestly more to himself than to Alex, at this point.

“I’m not a child,” Alex says. He says it more to himself than John, which settles the issue. John grabs a hoodie from the top of the dresser. “I just–I was scared.”

“I know, baby,” John murmurs. “It’s okay. I’m leaving now, I’ll stay on the phone with you in the car, okay?”

“You don’t have to,” Alex mumbles. “You don’t have to come, I just–I don’t know why–I shouldn’t have called.”

“No, no, no,” John says. “You can always call me.” He walks out into the living room and grabs his coat, struggling into it one-handed as he continues to hold the phone to his ear.

“It’s…late,” Alex says. He yawns. John grabs his bag and his keys and leaves the apartment. “I just woke up alone. I hate waking up alone when I’m sick. I woke up alone and I was scared.”

In the original draft of this scene, Alex was much more coherent. I had to go back and make him a little more scattered so that it would be believable that he would forget this entire conversation come morning.

Also, the “I woke up and you weren’t there” is about as clear a window into Alex’s psyche as we’re likely to get, at least when it comes to this part of him that desperately needs other people and refuses to acknowledge it. There’s a reason he keeps repeating it.

“That’s okay,” he says. He locks the door and starts down the stairs, trying to go as quietly as possible. It’s the middle of the night–he doesn’t want to wake up the whole building.

“I should go.”

“Don’t bother, I’m already up, I’m already coming over,” John insists softly. “You don’t have to go anywhere, Alex, you can stay right here on the phone with me.”

“I don’t have anything to say,” Alex says. He still sounds dreamy and soft, not entirely awake for the conversation. John starts walking faster and finally hits the ground floor.

“I don’t have anything to say,” the true sign of Alex being sick XD

“It’s okay,” he says as gently as he can manage. “You don’t have to say anything. You can just sit there, and I’ll know you’re okay and you’ll know you’re okay.”

“Mm.”

John is not super great at taking care of other people, especially when he’s so panicked. He’s also beating himself up for not being there.

It’s cold as dicks, so John doesn’t dawdle in the parking lot. His engine is loud in the frozen silence of the night, and he hears Alex startle over the other end of the phone.

There are a lot of references to how cold it is during this story. Winter 2015 was THE. WORST. in the northeast and in Jersey, too. I have like…legitimate trauma from that winter. We had a record snowfall in Boston and like 90% of it fell over less than 30 days. It snowed every weekend. There was nowhere to put it because none of it melted because it was also record low temperatures. By the end of it I was literally crying every day because I couldn’t stand it anymore. New Jersey didn’t get quite as much snow as we did, but it was just as bitterly cold.

“I’m starting the car,” he tells him. He puts the phone on speaker and rests it on the seat next to him. “That’s all. I’m on my way to you now.”

“Okay,” Alex mumbles. “Okay. You don’t have to.”

“I know,” John says, “but I’m going to. The car’s already moving.”

Silence on the other end. In fact, it stays silent as John pulls out of the parking lot, as he turns down their street, as he turns onto the main road.

“Alex?” he asks again.

No answer, save for a soft snuffling sound. Alex, he assumes, is asleep again.

He reaches across to his phone one-handed and ends the call. He’ll be there soon enough, and he trusts that nothing will happen to Alex in the five minutes it will take him to finish his drive across town.

I like the idea of John not even taking the time to put his phone in the dash clip or hook it up to the AUX cable–he just hits the speaker button and drives.

The other big motivating factor for him, outside of his own panic and need to take care of Alex out of familial responsibility, is how small and scared Alex sounds through all of this. I’m a really lazy writer, so this is a construction I use in the text a lot (though I haven’t used it yet in this section, I think), but John and Alex are both big obnoxious personalities and thus, when one of them is acting quieter and more timid than usual, they always make note of how out of character that is. They don’t like to show weakness, so when they’re too tired to hide their weakness, it’s a flashing red light to the other that something is really wrong. Here, John knows what’s wrong–Alex is sick–but it’s still eerie and unsettling enough that it spurs him to move more quickly.

The Washingtons’ house is dark when John pulls up outside, and for the first time he realizes how crazy this whole thing is. He’s breaking into his mentor’s house because his boyfriend had a bad dream. This is…not normal. It’s possible John is majorly overreacting. Alexander is an adult, he can take care of himself, he doesn’t need John rushing to his aid in the middle of the night.

But John remembers how lonely and needy and touch-starved he was when he was sick, and that was in his own bed. Alex is alone in an unfamiliar place. And Mrs. Washington gave him a key. So this isn’t…totally weird.

Probably.

Another construction I use a lot because I’m a lazy writer–John and Alex are low-key self-aware that their relationship is really more intense and obsessive than is healthy, and convince themselves that because they’re self-aware, it makes it okay.

He sits in the car for another minute after coming to that conclusion, weighing his options, trying to decide just how crazy and clingy this makes him. In the end, he can still hear the soft way Alex said his name over the phone, and that answers the question for him. He would do anything for Alex on a normal day–he doesn’t stand a chance at resisting when Alex is sick and scared.

Just hitting you right in the solar plexus with the image of Alex’s quiet, scared voice over the phone. You’re welcome.

He closes his car door as quietly as he can manage and walks swiftly up the front walk. He tries to act casual–he’s very aware of the fact that he’s a latino kid in a nice neighborhood in torn jeans and a black hoodie, and while people in Jersey are more likely to call the cops than shoot on sight, the only thing that could make this more embarrassing would be having to explain it to the Washingtons and a police officer at two in the morning.

I try to walk a line between a realistic amount of thought and reference to how race impacts these kids and keeping it from distracting from the story at hand. I’m very aware that I’m a white lady with wildly different experiences, but I don’t want to erase that aspect of the characters.

He unlocks the door and opens it as softly as he can, slipping inside and locking it behind him. He hears a rustling in the hallway and winces, preparing an explanation in his mind, but it’s just Nelson, who trots over to him and head-butts his leg looking for pets.

“Hey, buddy,” John murmurs to him. “I thought I told you to look after my guy while I was gone.” Of course, even if Alex had been awake when John left, he’d probably have kicked Nelson and Blue out of his room–John will never in a million years understand Alex’s universal disinterest in animals.

I’m more of an Alex than a John, tbh. I’m a little more accepting of animals than Alex is, but I really don’t care for cats and I’m not like, crazy about other animals. (Except bunnies. I love bunnies.) I tend to love dogs I know and am vaguely aware of dogs I don’t know.

Anyway, GWash’s dogs are named for his horses because even though he had a trillion dogs IRL, it was easier to find the names of his horses than his dogs and I am, as I have mentioned several times, quite a lazy writer.

(Also, Alex totally would have kicked the dogs out of his room.)

But Alex is why he’s here, so he scratches Nelson behind the ears one more time and then walks quietly down the hall to Alex’s room. The door is open a crack and John nudges it the rest of the way open, peering inside.

“John?” Alex whispers. He’s lying in bed, propped up by half a dozen pillows. He’s also half asleep, with the blankets pulled all the way up to his chin. There’s a nightlight plugged into the corner, letting off a faint blue glow. Just enough to allow someone unfamiliar with the room to navigate their way to the bathroom, John figures, but it’s also enough to see how pale Alex looks, still.

“It’s me,” John confirms. “Just me.” Nelson nuzzles his hand. “Me and Nelson,” he amends.

“You didn’t have to come over,” Alex says. He sounds more Alex-like, now. Still tired and a little distant, but he doesn’t seem as scared or lost as he did on the phone. “The whole point of me being here is so you won’t be around me and get sick again. You didn’t have to come over.”

“I wanted to,” John says. “I needed to make sure you were okay.” He puts his bag on the floor and toes off his shoes, then gets gently into bed next to Alex, lying on top of the covers. Alex is immediately pressed to his side, arms around John’s waist and clutching him more tightly than John would have expected given his current state.

Alex talks a good game, but he was pretty desperate for John. I think, while he’s mostly over connecting every sickness to his mother’s death–he gets sick enough that it would be nearly unmanageable to think of it every time he has a sniffle–these particular circumstances of being separated from someone he loves are digging into that same place in his heart. He’s exhausted and he can’t think and he’s miserable and he just wants to be held and loved and while he understands why John is elsewhere and, in fact, wants him to stay there and be well instead of getting sick again, he’s also sad and sick and desperate.

“This sucks,” Alex croaks.

“I know,” John says. Alex’s hair is stringy and sweaty and tangled, but John smoothes it out anyway, brushing it back from his face. “Just try to sleep, babe. You’ll feel better if you can sleep for a little while. And if you have another nightmare, I’ll be right here.”

“I don’t know if it was a nightmare,” Alex mutters. He yawns against John’s chest. “I just woke up.” He yawns again, and when John looks down, his eyes are already closed. “I woke up and you weren’t there.”

“I know,” John repeats softly. “I know, baby. I’ll be here this time, okay? Just sleep.”

John feels super, super guilty about not being there.

And that seems to be all it takes. Alex is back to breathing deeply and evenly just moments later, still wrapped around John in sleep.

That should be John’s cue to ease himself out from under Alex, tuck him in, and head back to their apartment. Leave Alex here to sleep the rest of the night in peace, get some rest of his own away from Alex’s germs, swing by again tomorrow morning before work, maybe….

But, he should wait a few extra minutes, just to be sure he doesn’t wake Alex up. Just long enough to be positive that Alex is truly and deeply asleep. A few more minutes won’t hurt.

And Alex’s desperation is mirrored in John. He also understands why Alex is quarantined and doesn’t want to be sick again and knows this is for the best, but it’s cold and it’s fucking February and he hasn’t slept alone in months and he wants to hold Alex as badly as Alex wants to be held.

Nelson gets up from the floor near the door and walks over to John’s side of the bed, looking up at him curiously.

“Sorry, buddy, I’m not here for you tonight,” he says. Nelson noses at his leg and, when John doesn’t push him away, jumps up onto the bed and settles himself at the bottom, his head resting on John’s feet. “He’s not gonna like that,” John tells him, but he doesn’t make any move to discourage him.

Asleep in a warm, soft bed with Alex in his arms and a dog on his feet is pretty much John’s ideal fantasy.

And it would be mean to shove him out of the way when he’s just gotten settled. So, really, John is doing everyone a favor by just snuggling with Alex for a few more minutes….

Yeah, he knew he wasn’t moving after that XD

It’s midnight now and my brain is mush. If there are any PARTICULAR QUESTIONS you have about this, plz feel free to ask for elaboration!