#aleksander deserved better

[sad-outsider]

R&R should be called Ruin and Stagnation, at least that would be fair to the readers. Because there is no sign of Rising in this book, only fall and stagnation.

[is-today-tomorrow-in-nz]

I know I have not posted much on Grishaverse lately. I have fallen into another pit of hyperfixation(Suits) and currently spending my days and nights reading marvey fanfiction. However, I have not abandoned my baby girl! Aleksander. Once I get the current fixation out of my system, I'll be right back.

[siriuslyobsessedwithfiction]

Alina Starkov - the most inconsistent main character. A tragedy of not wanting to have an identity.

The main character in Shadow and Bone trilogy, a prime example of "she deserved better". A.k.a. soldier, Sun Summoner, Sun Saint. In reality, a false saint and a false hero, who has less personality, goals, spine and consistency than her three love interests. How did this happen? Short answer - bad writing. Long answer? Here we go.

Her character at the beginning - a blank slate.

Physically small and weak, sickly, fragile, with a sour face and sourer attitude. Grew up in an orphanage funded by a Duke, who they were taught to basically worship while looking down on religion and beliefs in saints. Children in the orphanage were beaten if they misbehaved or didn't do chores, but were given education and fine food, which means they were faring better than peasants and farmers. Alina had not many, but several options in her life. She could learn a trade that would not require physical labour, like sewing. Or, she could marry and hope her husband was gracious enough to buy a donkey instead of making her carry heavy sacks of salt on her back, as we see a random man do to his wife. But Alina had no hobbies, interests, aspirations or ambitions in her life. Except her childhood friend Mal. Mal gets a mandatory draft in the First Army, and of course Alina follows, and settles for being a mediocre cartographer. Mal thrives in the army, showing off muscles and hooking up with women, while Alina dutifully waits for him saints know why. She doesn't have other genuine friends, she doesn't like people, she doesn't like anything. This is not a bad start in a sense that there is much room for growth and improvement.

Refusing to belong

Alina discovers she's a long awaited sun summoner, who can vanquish the Fold and unite Ravka. She doesn't want to be special, but not for the reasons you might think. Instead of fearing the burden of such an important task or genuinely becoming paranoid of being assassinated (she gets over those in five minutes), she just...doesn't want the responsibility of actually being useful for something. She'd rather not have powers at all, and go back to being in a constantly sickly state. She'd rather be tailing Mal like a mouse. Which doesn't make any sense for following reasons:

Alina's insecurities in SaB:

Not being pretty and talented

2. Not being as pretty and talented as Grisha

3. Being an orphan, being unwanted.

Being a Grisha actually solves all those problems for her. She gets prettier and healthier once she stops repressing her powers, has a unique cool power, and a community that cares for her. Plus, the support from important figures in Ravka. In time, she could have a family.

Instead, she refuses to acknowledge she's one of them, doesn't train properly, preferring to cling to her prejudices and make digs at Grisha. She'd rather complain that they're prettier, confident and pampered than acknowledge they are serfs, nothing but glorified servants with no basic human rights. Instead of her superstitions and prejudices being shattered when she starts living with them and realizing what Grisha have to go through, becoming rightfully enraged that her people are being treated this way, she still doesn't feel any empathy. In fact, she still doesn't see the General as a HUMAN BEING WHO MIGHT HAVE FEELINGS, even though he makes time in his busy schedule of running an army to make sure she's comfortable, jokes along with her, listens to her fears and reassures her, etc. Why would he go through the trouble if he was heartless? He's the General of the Second Army, by the King's law, she's his soldier. She is obligated to obey him regardless.

The narrative supports her delusions.

I get missing her friend, I get struggling to adjust, but it's more than that. Alina is getting dragged along from a plot point to a plot point kicking and screaming, as if she has anything better to do. She doesn't have a life, why is she so against of getting one? Once she finally somewhat adjusts to her life in the Little Palace, it turns out Darkling has had malicious intents towards her powers all along! Aha, you were right to be prejudiced, Alina! Now abandon your people, your country, and run!

“He … he said that Darklings are born without souls. That only something truly evil could have created the Shadow Fold.”

Imagine telling a person who saved your life that he was a soulless abomination, even though you do not know him, and he is still kind to you and reveals as much about him as he can. There is no grooming and manipulation here, it's just called not being a bitch. Darkling tells Alina he's over 120 years old, Alina is an adult, and the damned kiss was consensual. Of course he didn't tell her everything. Even regular people don't reveal their life-long ambitions and deepest childhood trauma to their crush after several conversations. It took Alina months to stop being in denial about being a Grisha, still didn't like being one, you're telling me if Darkling set her down and explained the complex political situation and his plan to overthrow the corrupt monarchy and bring an end to the war, Alina wouldn't jump out of the window?

Alina running away, not confronting the problem, and straight up deciding Darkling was evil incarnate with no evidence snowballed into Darkling deciding she couldn't be trusted and taking more drastic measures. Liberation of his people was on the line and one pesky girl screwed up a carefully planned coup because she couldn't handle her feelings.

False badassery

Throughout the whole three books, every time Alina makes a decision, it's immediately followed by self-doubt, shame and scorn. But no actual objective criticism. We often see variations of "It was foolish, but I didn't care", "I knew it was reckless but I couldn't bring myself to care", but never her actually analyzing why, or deciding not to do something like that again. Her small victories are immediately followed by thoughts on how would others feel about it, even though the person in question isn't even there and couldn't give less of a shit: "Never is it to be said that Ana Kuya didn't teach us manners", "A cheap trick, but a good one. Nikolai would be proud". Ana Kuya was an abusive mother figure, Nikolai was using Alina's status to get the throne. Sure, it's good that Alina is capable of learning useful things from every kinds of people, but she doesn't think "That was smart of me. I learnt that. I'm proud of myself for an accomplishment". She thinks "Is it good? Would they like it? They like things like that, right?". She attaches herself to people that fit her view of "deserving" and helps them, even though it might not be for the best. Extreme lack of self-worth, combined with entitlement.

When Alina hears a rumour Darkling ordered his heartrenders to sew a traitor's mouth shut, she's horrified. Even though that's hardly the worst punishment for a traitor in an army. But when some pilgrims insult Genya, she orders to have their tongues cut out after they're given only one warning. When Alina commits violence at slightest provocation, it's baddass. But when Darkling commits a controlled necessary military act to stop enemies from overrunning the country, it's madness and is falsely labeled genocide. Look up the definition, genocide is what was happening to Grisha.

The Darkling never kidnapped children and put them in the war zone. He only lied to Alina that he did, a clever strategy with no bloodshed. Meanwhile, Alina let her cult fight for her, whose members were brainwashed children, some only twelve years old.

When Alina faces a dilemma or a tense military situation, her go-to strategy is suicide. That is not martyrdom, nor it is badass.

Darkling became a bad person out of good intentions and desperation, Alina is just a bad selfish person.

Desperate people are the ones capable of the worst acts. Darkling didn't go nearly as crazy as he could, and frankly had a right to on behalf of his people.

"Aleksander had marched south with the king’s soldiers, and when they’d faced the Shu in the field, he’d unleashed darkness upon their opponents, blinding them where they stood. Ravka’s forces had won the day. But when Yevgeni had offered Aleksander his reward, he had refused the king’s gold. “There are others like me, Grisha, living in hiding. Give me leave to offer them sanctuary here and I will build you an army the likes of which the world has never seen.”

It doesn't matter how much genocide, prejudice, abuse and dehumanization the Grisha suffered through for centuries all around the world, Alina never bothers to look at the big picture. Her help is only for those who she deems worthy of it.

She attaches herself to people who fit her narrow-minded view of "worthy". She immediately believes Baghra's rather flimsy expose of Darkling, even though the old woman has been nothing but unhelpful to her, only insulting her and beating her. But Alina associates her with her only mother figure, Ana Kuya, another old hag she had a toxic relationship with. And even though Baghra is an immensely powerful Grisha who refuses to help or even lift a finger, or just spit out vital information, Alina coddles her and provides protection. Instead of telling her to fess up the useful information and save her unhelpful comments, Alina looks up to her as a mentor.

When Genya tells her story, Alina feels bad for her, but not bad enough to see things her perspective. She only becomes protective of Genya once she gets mutilated, out of pity. If it was genuine compassion, she would've forgiven and understood her from the start.

Every Grisha has been hunted and shamed for merely existing, almost every Grisha has lost a loved one to war. But Alina pointedly ignores it, because she doesn't personally know and care for those people. Therefore, she doesn't feel empathetic. Because if she feels empathetic, she might start feeling guilty about how she runs away from her responsibilities at every given opportunity. Just look at this passage:

“You know what he plans to do, Ivan.” “He plans to bring us peace.” “At what price?” I asked desperately. “You know this is madness.” “Did you know I had two brothers?” Ivan asked abruptly. The familiar smirk was gone from his handsome face. “Of course not. They weren’t born Grisha. They were soldiers, and they both died fighting the King’s wars. So did my father. So did my uncle.” “I’m sorry.” “Yes, everyone is sorry. The King is sorry. The Queen is sorry. I’m sorry. But only the Darkling will do something about it.”

The Darkling never wanted power for selfish reasons. He didn't want to take over other countries or lift Grisha above regular people. He wanted his kind to have basic human rights. Centuries of diplomacy and servitude only gave him enough power to make a school for Grisha children and save adults from slavery and getting slaughtered by serving nobles. He wanted to use the Fold as a border, to stop enemies from invading whenever they pleased, so he would have the time to save Ravka from collapsing. What has Alina done? Started a civil war, destroyed the Second army and helped put a morally dubious man with no claim on the throne to continue an outdated absolute monarchy tradition.

Alina Starkov was meant to be the sun, but turned out to be a trick of the light.

Every time it felt like Alina was emerging from her cocoon as a beautiful butterfly, embracing her true self, she went back to the toxic situationship and the toxic mindset. The narrative also always struck her down. Every book begins and ends with her being sickly, fragile, missing an essential part of herself. It would be good if it was written differently and showed themes of being disabled or having a chronic illness accurately, but it's not. It started out well. Alina was removed from an abusive environment, found a purpose in life, started loving her newfound powers, outgrew the stupid crush who she was way too dependent on, but it all went downhill from there. And then some. This constant vicious cycle does not fit the theme of growth and improvement, and neither does the ending, where Alina loses her powers and goes back to the orphanage. Once again, she's frail and strange, servants (who she now employs) don't respect her, sneer and make fun of her, while her now husband Mal turns a blind eye. Everything is back to the way it was: Mal thrives, Alina is...there. The ending is supposed to be bittersweet, a couple who survived a war building a new life together, but I don't see the sweet part.

Trick of the light - definition: something appearing different from what actually is as a result of the quality of light.

Darkling wanted her to be a strong Grisha, his equal and balance. Grisha wanted her to be a capable leader, Bataar twins wanted a living saint they could worship, Nikolai wanted a wife interested in Ravka and politics. Alina tried to be all of that, but never really wanted to be any of those, so she half-assed it. Mal wanted the version of Alina who was small and insignificant, because anything more made him insecure, and he got his wish.

Illusion, mirage, spectre.

No matter how much the author tries to tell us that Alina's every problem is Darkling's fault, her thought process and actions paint a different picture. Alina was never mentally healthy and she never addressed or resolved her problems. Growing up in a controlled and abusive environment affected her more than anyone, including herself, wants to admit. I am not a licensed psychiatrist, so I will refrain from officially diagnosing Alina, even though she's a fictional character. I am NOT saying I know for certain that Alina has these, if any, mental problems, but she does have some alarming symptoms. It seems like depersonalization. While her symptoms don't fit into one particular mental disorder, I am reminded of psychiatric infantilism, but it is not a mental illness with symptoms. Psychiatric infantilism doesn't necessarily mean the person acts outwardly childishly. To explain very roughly and simply, it means the psych is not as developed as it should be (even if the person is very smart and clever). It shows in avoiding responsibility or not feeling it at all, problems with social connections, not seeing the big picture and taking it seriously, etc. When Harshaw tells the story of his brother getting brutally murdered by people who hate Grisha, even brash Zoya is appalled and expresses her condolences. While all Alina thinks about is that Harshaw might base his hope of having a better life on her now.

Alina also might have Dependent Personality Disorder, but it's hard to say, since we are never shown her being on her own long enough to see whether or not she can take actually care of herself. But her relationship with Mal, Darkling and Baghra (after she no longer objectively needs them) is weird, to say the least.

She never gains the sense of self or an identity, she refuses to become something, then delivers an inner monologue of accepting her fate and five minutes later goes back on her words. Her willingness to sacrifice her life is never out of thinking of the greater good and future, justice, or patriotism. She just doesn't want to live, especially without Mal, who has been doing nothing but shitting on her. Her titles are slapped on her, and she peels them off. Her personality never really changes. Everything she went through feels like a really bad exchange program she was in for a year, and from which she has learnt nothing.

P.S. I don't hate Alina's character, I just mourn her lost potential.

If you have made it to the end, I salute you, congratulations and thank you. 😊 🙏 ❤️

[fandomrantsandtwittertakes]

[we-were-born-to-be-free]

"Always."

"Forever."

@deadchaoticcosmos

[aleksanderscult]

That answer from the author only makes me so much angrier about Alina's fate in R&R. Apparently back in 2013 Leigh believed that the fact the protagonist embraced her powers made her "the person she was meant to be". A confident girl that doesn't try to be someone else.

So what happened? Why did the author had to fuck this shit up by stripping her of her power? In order to end up with a (shit) man. Was she so desperate to make the protagonist end up in a shallow love story instead of having her strong, confident, powerful and herself?

I believe that, at some point, Bardugo decided to "take" her power because how else could she have that cutie lil ending with Mal? She sacrificed Alina's true happiness to get her bullied by teachers older than her, be "loved" by a man that made her feel less than she is, living in obscurity instead of shining bright, become a beacon of hope for her people and a symbol of unity and having an empty hole inside her because a piece of her soul is missing.

And yet she dared have Alina say that line:

For the 28383 time, Aleksander was right:

It is a living. A living Hell apparently.

[periodcostumefantasylover]

Ben Barnes in tears as the Darkling in 2x06 I have no heart

[is-today-tomorrow-in-nz]

I carry a deep admiration for Aleksander and his unbreakable will.

Human beings are creatures of comfort. We crave familiarity. While change is inevitable, most of us tend to stick to a routine to keep us grounded. It breaks my heart so much to think that the Darkling could not afford to have even such basic comforts. With every rebirth he had to breakfree of the habits of his past life and reinvent himself as a new person with a different set of likes and dislikes. Even his mannerisims has to be scrubbed clean to avoid suspicion. By the time we meet him in the Grishaverse how much of him is the real him? How many of his habits are his and not something he cultivated for his new persona?

He is a singluar fixture in time and eternity passes through him. The language he once spoke is dead, the music he once loved no longer exists, the places he once travelled are long gone, the people he once knew are nothing but a distant memory. With each turn of the Earth, everything he grew to like again is chipped away along with remains of his soul.

And yet he persevered. Even when he had nothing or no one to anchor him, he carried on through war, genocide, loss, grief and pain. He kept fighting till his last breath and sacrificed himself once again for the greater good.

He deserves so much better than the indignity that LB put him through.

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

Gifs by @ladylrbloom

[illicthearts]

I cried, literally the only people I cried for. They stole the show for me. I hated every single one of the heroes for what happened to them. They were just fitting for their freedoms and their right as people and they were murdered and looked at as the bad guys for. I knew they were done for when the crows showed up.

[siriuslyobsessedwithfiction]

The tension between me and an essay about Alina Starkov in my drafts 👀 Should I post ittt?...😬

Btw, I just noticed while rereading for analysis, barely two pages in the first chapter and "fat" has already been used negatively twice by Alina 😀. Girlie is skinny-shaming herself and fat-shaming others.

[greensaplinggrace]

I still can’t believe they changed the darkling’s reasons for scarring genya. it does such a massive disservice to both of their characters

[unabashedmoonlight]

Leigh about The Darkling- I love the moments when he appears to not be in control. The thing I hate about him? What he did to Genya. And I'm not just talking about what he did at the end of Siege and Storm.

[dreamlandcreations]

Aleksander: “Perhaps now you’re getting an inkling of what it’s like to be hunted. But you still have no idea what it means to fake countless deaths, to have to reinvent yourself after every rebirth, to lose every loved one to sickness, desperation, hate, and time.”

Alina: “Is this how you justify your actions? Your loneliness? A wound that won’t heal?”

Aleksander: “You’ve yet to see the full shape of things. My Alina, you live in a single moment. I live in a thousand.”

Alina: “You’re already dead.”

I might be getting old, but one of the qualities I appreciate most about characters is empathy. When you show me “villain”, who has plenty of it, and “heroine”, who has none, it’s an easy enough choice for me. And I WON’T be rooting for her.

Aleksander lived through countless horrors, but he doesn’t make it about himself, he’s telling Alina it’s awaiting her too. He’s warning her. She hears only excuses for perceived wrongs and doesn’t concern herself with future that far.

Alina’s the one to drag Darkling’s “actions” into conversation, but the fact those were designed with certain goal in mind doesn’t matter. Somehow the end of wars is about Sasha’s loneliness. I fail to see how…

Alina calls Aleksander “dead”, yet he’s the one who keeps sacrificing his lives for his people. If he were as heartless as she wants to believe, he could simply fuck off to trip over the world instead of dealing with blind, stubborn, entitled smartass.

[lost-tothe-centuries]

bro i’m gonna write so much fix it fic

[aleksanderscult]

Joker: "You see in their last moments, people show you who they really are."

Meanwhile the Darkling in his last moments:

"Blue sky" = he marvelled at the beauty of the world around him. Reminding us of the fact that he loved everything bright. ("Blue like the True Sea")

"Alina"..."Alina" = calling the girl that he loved at his side, searching for her arm to hold it cause he needed comfort and her company.

"Someone to mourn me" = he could scowl at her, spit on her or ignore her. But no. Even though she stabbed him he stroked her tears away, smiled at her and found solace in the fact that someone loves him and mourns his demise.

"No grave. For them to desecrate" = he doesn't want his body to be defiled. If he goes down, he wants to rest in peace at last. After so many years of war and conflict.

"Once more. Speak my name once more" = he wanted to hear his name from her lips. I bet he loved the sound of it whenever she said it (🥲). He wanted to hear the name that was tattooed on his heart and hidden from all. One more time before the end.

"Don't let me be alone" = he desired her presence at his side until the end. He didn't want to venture into the dark alone. The dark that frightened him so much when he was little. But also all his life was alone but for a mother who verbally and emotionally abused him. He came to fear loneliness and we can see that in this line too.

So yes, in his last moments he was Aleksander. A boy broken and damaged. Not a villain. Just a lonely boy. That's what he truly was.