#albania press

[dedoholistic]

Un GRAZIE di cuore alla cara amica e collega autrice Angela Kosta per questo articolo che ha scritto su di me e sulle mie poesie “Oceano di Sensi”, “Tenebre” e “Notte d’Amore” e pubblicato su Albania Press.

[petvles]

My prediction for the countries that are going to go through to the finals thursday:

Armenia

Slovenia

Georgia

Austria

Lithuania

Australia

Romania

Cyprus

Greece

Denmark

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Clownfall: the Election Cometh

It's a long one, lads. Buckle up, get comfy, but the circus is in town for its final run. Ambient music as you read can be found here or here, take your pick. Get popcorn. Get snacks and water and a blanket.

Are you sitting comfortably?

Wednesday 22nd May

7.12am

Household favourite and queen of our hearts Pippa Crerar of the Guardian (her who did the investigative journalism that revealed PartyGate to the world) reports that UK inflation fell to a mere, paltry 2.3% in April.  The lowest level in three years!  Huzzah! But … still smaller than the decline that was expected. 

Nonetheless, Rishi Sunak and Jeremy Cunt whoops I'm so sorry I meant Cunt haha whoops said it again make a big fuss about how brilliant this news is, and how it shows that they are Good At Maffs after all that trouble with Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng, who defined themselves as being Good At Maffs and then obliterated the economy in a single day.  Remember that! Good times. But hey, look, THIS PM/Grand Vizier combo are great at this! Inflation has fallen! Stop looking at the predicted rate! A fall is still a fall!

Crerar wonders whether people will actually feel better off, though – prices and mortgage rates are still high, after all. Food for thought.

10.04am

Jeremy Hunt is asked on the Today programme whether Sunak will call a general election.

Now, the logic here is that the government is likely to do better in an election if the economy’s improving; which, SunakCunt are now shrieking from the rooftops. So, is now the time? It's a win, and they've had so few of those, but historically people really do like to fall for the right wing = better economy myth... 

BUT – the Tories are doing so very badly in the polls.  Journalists favour the idea of an autumn election.  Tories do better when the weather’s bad, because fewer people go out and vote.

 “Well that’s a matter for the prime minister, it’s not a matter for me,” says Cunt. 

... Well.  Not ruling it out, then? Diddorol.

10.30am

It's Wednesday, aka the date that Tory cabinet ministers have their weekly meeting. They are duly sent the agenda.

There is no mention at all of an election announcement, nor any plan for an election.

Fair enough! 'Twas an idle thought. Plus, it would actually be bad timing from a logistical perspective - David Cameron, Foreign Secretary and Bae of Pigs, is currently flying out to Albania for an important international meeting, and Jeremy Cunt is on TV all day today - ITV next.

12.18pm

Sunak is asked at Prime Minister’s Questions whether he’ll call a general election.  He doesn’t rule it out.

12.56pm

Fun tweet alert!

2.31pm

Pippa Crerar asked Sunak’s press secretary whether he was calling an election.  She refused to comment.

Surely it’s a terrible time to call an election! Everyone hates them!  But suddenly …

A Cabinet meeting is scheduled for 4.15pm.  David Hameron suddenly u-turns in Albania and comes straight back home, his meeting un-met.  Jeremy Cunt cancels his ITV appearance.  The afternoon meeting is cancelled. Number 10 stops responding to journalists.  Manifesto work has stepped up.  Sunak’s chief-of-staff is spotted wearing a suit and tie WHICH IS UNUSUAL.  Senior ministers have spent the last few days doubling down on dividing lines.  And Tory bosses had a meeting this week to discuss how much money they could spend before a summer election.

The UK press sense blood in the water.

3pm

Okay.

There’s something you need to understand:

People suspect Rishi Sunak doesn’t actually want to live in the UK.  He’d prefer to be in California.  He’s here because he’s an MP.

You need to know this to understand this truly historic incident.

Nadine Dorries has produced a good tweet.

...

...

...

No, we all need to sit with this one for a minute

(For the record... to us, that is an excellent joke. But I strongly suspect she wasn't joking and was trying to make a catty accusation instead, which coincidentally appeared like a roast.

Scientists are referring to this as Stopped Clock Syndrome.)

5.17pm

With great dignity, Rishi Sunak stands outside Number 10 and announces a general election on 4 July.

And by “great dignity”, I mean he’s soaked by rain, while “Things Can Only Get Better” plays in the background courtesy of an anti-Tory protestor with a big speaker and a dream; the song adopted by he Labour Party for the 1997 election, where Tony Blair famously won a landslide victory after 18 years of Tory rule. Eventually, the volume of it is raised so high Sunak is, on more than one level, drowned out.

5.37pm

According to Gabriel Pogrund of the Times, Labour can’t believe Number 10 allowed this to happen.

One Labour insider texts: “Umbrellas are woke”

6.06pm

Good tweet alert!

8pm

A later Guardian article reports that Sunak greeted around a hundred Tory activists – still wearing the same rain-soaked trousers from the announcement.

No word at all on why he doesn't have aides capable of fetching him dry trousers. Perhaps those, too, are woke.

8.14pm

A Sky News reporter is at Sunak’s campaign launch.  But, bafflingly, he’s forcibly removed.  Extraordinary scenes

Elanor's Pro Tip: Removing a journalist may not be the best PR move for the start of an election trail.

8.27pm

9.36pm

A GBNews reporter claims that some Tory MPs are trying desperately to replace Sunak as leader in order to call off the general election.  For this to work, they’d need a vote of no confidence before the dissolution of parliament on Thursday 30 May.  Except actually, that would have to happen before the proroguing of parliament on Friday 24 May.

So … this won’t work.  But how very incredible - and hilarious - that they’re trying.

10.39pm

Let's take a look at the evening headlines!

A great start to Sunak’s campaign, with newspapers - including the Tory giant The Telegraph - celebrating the triumphant launch of his campaign:

Well! WHAT a day! Let's see how Thursday goes.

Thursday 23 May

8.00am

The BBC takes a moment to gleefully throw off the shackles of political oppression of the last 12 years to reveal that Rishi Sunak's announcement of a July election, the single most important announcement for a sitting government, the most sensitive and vitally-timed event in their calendar...

Was a total surprise to the rest of the party.

Tory party MPs found out when we did that they were about to have to campaign again. For a snap GE. Three weeks after having just done it for the council elections, in which they experienced the greatest single loss of their councillors in history. Even the damn meeting agenda was fake.

Still. Perhaps this explains the lack of umbrella or trousers.

9.09am

Nigel Farage confirms he will NOT stand at the general election. 

*pause for applause*

That’s because he’s helping Trump get re-elected in the US right now.

*pause for screams*

This is good news for the Tories!  And the rest of Britain, actually (commiserations to America. Please shoot him). Farage’s right-wing populist party - Reform UK - is the spiritual successor to UKIP and the Brexit Party, who’ve been splitting the right-wing vote for years.  Farage is popular; it’s bad news for Reform if he’s not part of their campaign, but simply fantastic news for those of us who think queer folks, women and people of colour deserve human rights.

9.19am

According to BBC News and others, Sunak has hired Isaac Levido, the election strategist behind the Tories’ landslide win in 2019.  Levido knows his stuff, and advised Sunak to stick with an autumn election.

Sunak ignored this advice.  Lol.

9.20am

In the Guardian, Sunak says there WON’T be planes of immigrants flying to Rwanda before the general election.  Good news for those of us who think it’s monstrous to deport immigrants to countries with unsafe governments.  Bad news for Tory voters who were hoping to get racists to vote for them.

Now, this is particularly funny, because promising to deport refugees to Rwanda in spite of overwhelming legal opposition on human rights grounds is probably the single hill that the Tories have chosen to commit genocide on. This bill has been in and out of every court in the land since they promised it in 2019. It's been on again off again more than a tawdry tabloid romance. But, they finally managed to push it through, and the first planes were set to fly in July.

This means! That Sunak's strongest cards going into the election were the drop in inflation, and the Rwanda bill. He could sell it as "In spite of those bleeding heart liberals, we persevered and managed to tenaciously get rid of these browns and thus fulfilled our promise", and the fact that it won't actually affect the immigration numbers wouldn't be clear until after the election. And make no mistake, it is VITAL that those planes fly before any election - quoth one influential Conservative MP on the right of the party to the BBC:

“I know what question you’re going to ask us again and again. "You’ll say we’ve been banging on about Rwanda for years and we’ve only managed to fly one migrant out there - and we paid him to go”.

It took a single day for that gamble to dramatically fail.

Lol. Lmao, even. One might almost say rofl.

9.21am

Sunak is emphasising his own role in managing the economy.

The Guardian’s Rowena Mason points out that it might be better to sell this as a Tory victory rather than a Sunak victory, considering how badly Sunak’s doing as an individual in the polls.

10.45am

I'm obviously giving a lot of attention here to the funniest and most ridiculous stuff, but let’s take a moment to celebrate some genuinely brilliant journalism:

0_o

The whole article’s worth reading. It confirms that at least one more hi-vis wearer was a Tory councillor in disguise (in this case Ben Hall-Evans). Perhaps this is why they started by removing all the real journalists.

12.42pm

Sunak’s campaign takes him to a brewery in Wales!  He attempts some Bonding With The Working Man and asks the workers if they’re excited for the football.

Top tip: if you don’t realise the country you’re in hasn’t qualified for the Euros, maybe don’t even mention the subject.

6.55pm

... here is a new problem. Ish.

As mentioned, three weeks ago, England held local council elections. In that time, the Tories lost over half their councillors; an unprecedented and staggering loss in one event. We are all still bathing in the schadenfreude.

But, many of those then left the party (probably fairly, actually - monsters though Tories are, that cannot have been fun.) But, the way politics in the UK works is that when you vote, you don't vote for the party - you vote for your local representative, and then it's a numbers game as to which party gets to rule. This means, with this sudden last-minute possibly-impulsively-declared-by-one-soggy-madman election now six weeks away, those candidates all need replacing so that the Tories will have a shot at getting the numbers they need to form a majority government.

Channel 4’s Paul McNamara reports that Conservative HQ have emailed asking for candidates in almost 100 seats.  The deadline’s tight for this – and apparently, joining the lengthening list of people who weren't informed of this stupid election plan, Tory associations are livid at being left so unprepared.

Now, a lot of these seats are Labour strongholds, so you don’t necessarily need more than a token Tory candidate for them. Phew! A great relief.

But some of them are actually good Tory seats. Uh oh!  Basildon, Bury St Edmunds, Wellingborough and Rushden …  It’s a bad hit to the Tories to have so little time to find good candidates for these seats.

8.59pm

Labour launch a campaign video.  It’s long, but the message is, “Remember life before the Tories got into power?  Wasn’t it BRILLIANT?”

And to prove how great 2009 was, they’ve included a clip of David Tennant’s Dr Who saying “I don’t want to go.”

Lol.

9.57pm

Filmmaker Richard Cubitt jokily suggests he could stand as a Tory candidate, and immediately defect to Labour as soon as possible once elected.

I don’t know if the deadline’s closed, but I am now speaking to the chat. Lads: the time will never be better. Do it. Tell the Tories you'll stand for them. Immediately defect. You have the opportunity to do the funniest thing. Be the rot in the barrel. The time is now.

ANYWAY. Oh boy. Day one of campaigning was quite bad. Ah well! Onwards and upwards for Wali Heb Broli. Let's see what Friday brings.

And of course: the losses are staggering (100 candidates!), but it could be worse.

At least it's not senior MPs.

Friday 24 May

7.00am

Over 70 MPs confirm they will not be standing for re-election.

7.35am

It’ll be lovely to see this election get rid of some truly awful Tories.  But no need to wait that long!  John Redwood stands down.  I haven't mentioned him before, but let's look at his clownface eggshell.

He opposed reducing the age of consent for homosexuality in 1994 and 1999, he voted to keep Section 28 in 2003, he opposed same sex marriage, he voted to reintroduce the death penalty in 1988, 1990 and 1994, he’s argued against Greta Thunberg over the UK’s climate emissions.

Although English, he became Secretary of State for Wales in 1993, and at a Tory conference, had to mime badly to the Welsh national anthem which he hadn’t bothered learning.  In 1995, he cheated Wales out of a £100 million grant by returning it unspent to the treasury, so it could go back to England.

So, John – if by some fantastically rare chance you’re somehow reading this – it’s wonderful to see you step down.  I wish you a very warm fuck you.  And I hope the rest of your life is absolutely horrible and filled with immeasurable pain. Kisses.

7.58am

Vicky Spratt of the i newspaper announces that, with an election announced, the Renters’ Reform won’t pass.

This is a big deal, actually - this was a rare good promise in the Tories’ 2019 manifesto to protect renters by ending no-fault evictions.  A good promise!  With cross-parliamentary support, only slowed as much as it was because most Tory backbenchers are landlords and so tried to block it. But the fighting raged on, and it was finally agreed.

And now it’s broken.  Wasting months of work by stakeholders, and thus forming another election promise that would have sailed through if only the election hadn't been called for July.

8.09am

Jeremy Corbyn – remember him? Former Labour leader, who was expelled from the Labour party in 2020 – confirms he’ll be standing as an independent.  He’s continued to be a member of Labour despite being an independent MP – but standing against Labour in an election means he’ll have his membership revoked too.

9.26am

So where are we at? How do you reckon the normal Tories in the party are faring? Do you think they're positive of a win? Do you think they expect to lose?

Great Guardian article here:

Highlights - one government minister happened to bump into his equivalent opposition member, and immediately thrust his official folder towards them, saying, “You might as well have this now.”

Another Tory MP hugged a Labour colleague and cast their arm around the room.  “Good luck.  This is all yours.”

One Tory backbencher was asked if it was a good idea to call an election.  “It’s a disaster. I can’t understand it.”

Even when they’re being optimistic, the Tories seem a little glum.  One long-standing MP said: “Of course I’m going to fight it, I don’t believe in just giving up like the prime minister has obviously decided to.”

A former minister raises an interesting point.  It’s not long, after all, since the Tories suffered those major defeats at the local council elections.  That's impacted the number of candidates, of course - but, local canvassing is largely done, on all parts of the political spectrum, but activist volunteers.

That loss was three weeks ago. If you were a volunteer who just spent weeks knocking on the doors of your neighbours and community, trying to convince them to vote for the dead horse, and then lost – maybe you won’t feel like hitting the streets again so soon. Maybe you'd prefer to be able to meet your neighbours' eyes when you bump into them in the bread slicing queue at Morrisons.

Some MPs have even admitted they won’t be cancelling holiday plans to fight the election.  On top of that, there's over 70 MPs that have already confirmed they’re quitting and won’t be seeking re-election!!! Absolute scenes.

Interestingly, some anti-Sunak Tories report frustration.  They reckon they were close to calling a vote of no-confidence, in the hopes of replacing Sunak with a different leader.  No idea if this is true – and if true, whether Sunak knew it. But given the panicked speed at which it seems to have been called...

11.08am

The campaign takes Rishi Sunak to the Titanic Quarter, to be interviewed by Belfast Live.

Elanor's Pro Tip: if you’re the leader of a failing political party, maybe don’t let journalists interview you on a site named after history’s most famous sinking ship.

11.57am

How’s the campaign going, Rishi?

Oh, Rishi. Looks like someone else is not meeting anyone's eyes in the bread-slicing queue.

1.12pm

Politics UK reports that 75 Tory MPs are now standing down at the election – the same number of Tories who stood down ahead of the 1997 election.

2.49pm

Sunak’s campaign takes him on board an aeroplane.

Elanor's Pro Tip: if you’re the leader of a failing political party, maybe don’t be photographed in front of an exit sign.

7.07pm

MICHAEL GOVE ANNOUNCES HE’S STANDING DOWN AS AN MP!

I could honestly use that gif like seventeen times in this write up. You can all thank me for my restraint in choosing just one.

The 79th Tory to do so at this election – an all-time record exodus.  Hey gang, would you like to see some familiar names joining him in this?

Theresa May

Sajid Javid

Dominic Raab

Matt Hancock

Ben Wallace

Nadhim Zahawi.

It’s just … not a great sign for the party, is it? That so many prominent MPs don’t reckon it’s worth sticking around.

7.50pm

Hey, remember those parody videos of Hitler getting angry with funny subtitles?  Someone made a good Sunak one:

10.48pm

The Guardian’s Kiran Stacey reports that Sunak will retreat from the campaign trail, spending the next day at home.

Honestly... that's probably best. Let him recover from the bread excitement.

10.50pm

We round off the day with Andrea Leadsom announcing she too is standing down as an MP. Bye, bitch.

WHAT A DAY! Still, Saturday will probably be better.

Saturday 25 May

12am

New episode of Doctor Who drops! It contains Welsh faeries. I later write a post explaining this. You're all welcome. Back to the circus.

10.06am

Good tweet alert!

11.14am

Keir Starmer promises to lower the voting age from 18 to 16 if he wins the election.

2.43pm

Hey remember how David Hameron was supposed to be in Albania? And actually went there? And then had to come back because of Rishi's totally-planned-for election announcement?

The Mirror reports that David Cameron spent £60,000 of taxpayers’ money getting to Albania for that trip.  He was there for 89 minutes, before he had to come back in light of the general election announcement.

This means it cost the country £674 a minute for Cameron to be in Albania for about as long as it takes to watch The Lion King.

6.14pm

Labour and the Tories put candidates forward for 650 seats in a general election.

Of course, that's not quite all of them. The Times’ Patrick Maguire understands that Labour have only 13 candidates left to select, which is pretty good.  The Tories are missing slightly more than that. 

They need to find around 190.

(The number is rising. Chat, you know what to do.)

9.29pm

According to the Telegraph, Theresa May has said if she was still PM she would have used an umbrella to declare the election.

She probably would have, too.

10.11pm

Now then!!! Gather round boys and girls and all the rest!

Remember: the election was called based upon the following main cards in Sunak's hand:

The Rwanda bill

Inflation falling

The Renter's Reform Bill

Inflation fell, but not by as much as it should have. The Rwanda plan fell through a day later. The election itself has blocked the Renter's Reform bill.

Rishi needs a new set of promises stat, in order to shore up votes from his most important bastions of support. What can he offer?

The evening brings the answer!

At 10.11pm - note the time - in spite of having taken the day off, Sunak promises mandatory national service for every 18 year old if he wins the election.  Either a year-long army placement, or a weekend a month volunteering for a year.

Sounds like a good pledge, if you’re hoping to motivate 18-year-olds to vote against you.

10.16pm

The Financial Times’ Jim Pickard reveals that the National Citizen Service (David Cameron’s legacy project) had its funding slashed by two-thirds in a 2022 review of government youth funding - when the chancellor was Rishi Sunak.

Five minutes.  That’s how long it took a journalist to melt Sunak’s new pledge.

Still; Tories never let facts get in the way.

10.27pm

Politics UK reports that leaked documents suggest teenagers would be jailed for refusing this national service.

11.47pm

Sunak's bad ideas generator works hard, but the meme makers of the internet work harder:

Still. Sunday is a day of rest! Hopefully Sunday will be better.

Sunday 26 May

9.50am

Let’s check the Sunday tweets.

Starting to think whoever is in charge of optics for Rishi Sunak may be a Labour plant.

10.21am

Fantastic tweet alert:

I Agree With Gabby

3pm

And then... PLOT TWIST!!!

FT’s Lucy Fisher reports that Sunak’s national service pledge - including assigning up to 30,000 18-year-olds to the military - was rejected this week by one of his own defence ministers.

Defence personnel minister Andrew Murrison warned of a hit to morale, headcount and resources if “potentially unwilling national service recruits” were introduced alongside Britain’s professional armed forces.

EVEN THE ARMY DON'T WANT THIS.

6.47pm

And then:

Incredible story from Gabriel Pogrund of the Times.

St Paul’s School, if you haven't heard of it, is an expensive and famous private school in England somewhere (I forget where and don't care).  As with other private schools, they’d be subject post-election to a Labour plan to remove their VAT exemption.

Tory MP Greg Hands took matters into his own Greg hands, and messaged the school’s parents’ WhatsApp group to try and drum up anti-Labour sentiment.

I can see the logic. These are parents with money, who have chosen to send their children to a private school that often means an easy track into politics generally and the Tory party specifically. I see why he thought he was safe.

Tumblrs, he was not safe.

Parents intervened, complaining about Hands spamming the chat, and claiming his use of the chat was “inappropriate”.

One parent messaged: “Can we stop assuming everyone is a Tory in this group.  A return to more morality, less corruption and more social conscience in British politics is not something to oppose necessarily.”

Another expressed that some parents will “feel it is hard to defend private schools being vat exempt.”

Ouch. Swing and a miss, Greg Hands.

Anyway. New week, new campaigning. I am writing this on Tuesday, and so our tale is nearly at an end for now; so let's see what happened on Monday.

Monday 27 May (Yesterday)

7.40am

Britain's teenagers respond to the national service plan. I love this tweet and the video it reposts:

And here, for your viewing pleasure, is the video:

8.17am

Tory MP Steve Baker (more on him later) actually tweets a public criticism of Sunak’s national service plan.  You might be thinking "Well yes, obviously"! But no! For you see, when approaching elections, parties need to be united. Divided parties generally find it harder to win elections.

Naughty Steve.

8.41am

Foreign Office Minister Anne-Marie Trevelyan, having seen the absolute shambles of Sunak’s campaigning, wakes up this fine Monday morn and invites him to hold her beer.

Appearing on Times Radio, she’s asked whether the parents of teenagers could be prosecuted if the teens refuse to take up national service.

And she doesn’t rule it out.

NO BUT WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING ANNE-MARIE. IS THIS YOUR FIRST DAY OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Parents are NOT prosecuted for any wrongdoing of their ADULT CHILDREN.  How do you not understand this basic legal concept. The answer to that question was “no”!  You say “no” because it makes your party more likely to be elected, and you say “no” because the answer is no.

Oh dear. What a gaffe, as the papers say. Gosh, I really hope Anne-Marie Trevelyan’s gaffe stays contained.

8.56am

The Telegraph duly reports that parents of 18-year-olds might be fined if their children refuse national service.

Anne-Marie Trevelyan’s gaffe did not stay contained.

10.55am

Looks like the Tories are unhappy that the press revealed that Sunak took a day off from campaigning.

But that’s okay, they have a new strategy!  Reported by Politico, they’ve decided to suggest that Keir Starmer is too old to be a good Prime Minister.

They called him “weary” yesterday afternoon;

Tory Party Chair Richard Holden says it’s “bizarre” for Starmer to rest at home the day before a speech (but not for Rishi to - ? You know what, never mind);

A Tory aide tells the Sun that Starmer should be dubbed “Sir Sleepy” (what a Zinger, as those conscripted into national service say);

Another Tory aide calls Starmer “Sleepy Keir” according to the FT.

Keir Starmer is 61 years old.

11.17am

Let's check Tory candidate numbers!!!

Now last we looked it was 190, but obviously, as this is possibly their most urgent priority, they've been working flat out and recruiting across the land and so they have, fair play, managed to reduce that number.

The Spectator therefore reports that the Tories have 12 days to select 160 candidates.  Would you like to see the maths?

This means, on average, they need to select one candidate every 100 minutes.  Which is slightly less time than it takes to watch Toy Story 3.

#ChatYouKnowWhatToDo

12.41pm

The FT’s Lucy Fisher reports that Tory HQ has accidentally sent out an email criticising Tory MPs for failing to campaign, and warning of financial concerns in some seats.

Cannot stress this enough: even if the Tory campaign was going really well and they were predicting a landslide their way, this would be a terrible blow.

5.02pm

The Mirror reports that Tory MP Steve Baker is on holiday in Greece.  That’s pretty irresponsible, isn’t it?  What does Baker have to say for himself?

"The Prime Minister told everyone we could go on holiday and then called a snap election. So I've chosen to do my campaign work in Greece."

… this is the greatest Tory campaign in history.

(And once again... when exactly did you decide to do this, Rishi?)

5.15pm

In an absolutely baffling move whose motives I still cannot entirely fathom, Tory MP Lucy Allan - a repugnant, malignant liar of a woman who once altered an email from a constituent so she could claim it contained a death threat against her - is suspended by the party, for telling voters in her ward to vote for Reform UK instead of the Tories.

...

...

...

...wwwhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

6.18pm

Good tweet alert! Here's political journalist Jonn Elledge:

6.30pm

Meanwhile, a Tory chooses to contact journalist Theo Usherwood over WhatsApp, criticising the election strategist Isaac Levido:

Now this is particularly interesting, because Levido is the guy who managed to swing the last GE to BlowJo, even though Labour were riding high on Corbyn. And I don't know, maybe he is actually shit at this and all that was luck.

I just... wouldn't have said he was the reason for this one going the way it is. Necessarily.

Finally, let's finish off Monday with a last good tweet:

10.06pm

***

That's all for now, folks! Thank you for reading, enjoy the circus playing out this week!

[sarahscribbles]

I would like to present to you a concept called Loki’s Biting Kink. he wants to be bitten so fukn bad oh my god. not like, a skin-ripping chomp, but if his lover sinks their teeth in just enough to bruise him or even draw a bit of blood, he’ll praise them like it’s his job.

𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭 (?)

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟖𝟖𝟒

𝐀𝐍: 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝, 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐈 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭

𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

You hadn’t fully understood the concept of a safe space until Loki. Often, you had inwardly laughed at friends and colleagues who called their partners their “home” or their “heart.” 

It had baffled you how they could view a person, a simple human being, as something so profound. 

Now, though, as you straddle Loki’s lap after over a month apart and bury your face in his neck, you finally understand how a person can be home. The scent of him wraps itself around you like a blanket; bergamot and clove and something pleasantly sweet is the perfume of your heart, and the scents you’ll forever associate with being safe and loved. 

“You’re so perfect,” you whisper softly, trailing your lips across his collarbone in a haphazard pattern of kisses. “My perfect, beautiful boy,” you continue, punctuating each word with another kiss to his bare chest. 

He’s barely been back from Albania for an hour, but you’ve already half stripped him and twisted yourself around him on the sofa. While you had once thought it a ludicrous and sentimental ideal, you now realise that your home has two arms and a heartbeat. It has hands that have never faltered in loving and protecting you, and lips that have kissed away your deepest worries. 

Your home is Loki. 

His deep laughter vibrates through your chest and you can’t help but smile. “Darling, anyone might think you were in love with me,” he teases and runs his hand along your naked back. 

You sit back in his lap to meet those sparkling green eyes. They’re dancing with humour and love and a softness that’s reserved solely for you. Despite the time that’s passed since you and Loki became “official” your heart still flutters in your chest. 

“Perish the thought!” you tease him back, cupping his face in your hands and pressing your lips firmly to his. The kiss is slow and deep and makes something deep in your stomach stir to life. 

Loki wraps his arms tightly around you, pressing you snugly against his chest so there’s no room to doubt that he adores you. 

You let your lips linger against his as you break apart and bask happily in the gentle afterglow. Loki’s eyes are soft and dewy as they hold yours, conveying a million things that words never will. He curls his fingers around your wrists as your thumbs stroke his cheeks, gently moving one to his lips to press a soft kiss to the heel of your hand. 

It’s love that burns fiercely through your blood. Love so deep that you know you would give your life for him if the need ever arose. You would do anything, anything, to keep this man safe. 

With a contented hum, you dip back below Loki’s jaw, pressing the same trail of kisses along his shoulder. He so rarely lets you worship him, but tonight, he seems only too happy to submit to your affections. He sighs happily and rolls his head to the side to grant you better access, and, as you inch along his skin, the familiar scent of him invades you once again.

It’s heady and wonderfully intoxicating and it stirs something possessive to life in the deepest recesses of your mind. It feels almost primal and, before you can fully comprehend what you’re doing, you sink your teeth into Loki’s shoulder. It’s hard, but not so much so to be uncomfortably painful, just enough that you know a bruise will blossom there in the morning.

Your claim on him.

He tenses beneath you and you hear his breath catch in his throat. You feel him go completely still, until the only sign he’s alive is the steady thump of his heart.

You panic.

You pull back frantically to look at him. “Sorry! I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that. I should have asked. I should -,” you try to apologise, but Loki pulls you in for a kiss so deep you feel it all the way in your toes. 

His soft breath of laughter tickles your nose when he pulls away, and you’re surprised to see the faint dusting of pink that’s now painting his cheeks. “I’m…I’m a little embarrassed to admit that…that…” He trails off and looks at you. 

This perpetually composed god, this man who has looked his tormenter right in the eyes, is speechless beneath you and it only takes half a second for the pieces to slot into place. 

“My love, you don’t need to be embarrassed by the things that arouse you,” you say softly, reaching out a hand to cup his cheek and smiling when he leans into the palm of your hand. “And, as far as kinks go, this one is pretty tame.” 

You feel him relax beneath you and his arms snake to encircle your hips. “I adore you, do you know that?” 

You lean in to nudge your nose against his. “I do,” you say, giving him another brief kiss. “How about we go somewhere a little more comfortable? Maybe I can awaken something else in you.” 

“My little minx,” Loki teases, but then stands up so suddenly that your arms and legs are quickly locking around him for purchase. “But I’ll grant your wish, dove. Tonight, I am completely at your mercy.”

[arcane-vagabond]

Trapped in Silk: Prologue

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: The world has been turned on its head ever since news spread that vampires are not only very real, but many have walked the earth undetected for centuries. You keep to yourself, head down and out of everyone's way. That is, until you bump into a stranger while avoiding a group of men chasing after you. You think you've seen the last of this stranger, only to run into him once more. Your life is turned upside down as he envelopes you into his life and into his riches. Are you a passing fancy, or are you the latest addition to his treasure trove? Only time will tell. (Vampire!AU)

Content Warning: Lots of talk of blood, Excessive prose, Vampires, self depracation. I think that's it, but please let me know if I missed anything!

Word Count: 1.2k

Masterlist || Series Masterlist

When considering all things sacred, blood is perhaps the one thing more precious than gold.

Blood not only keeps people alive, it carries their memories through their veins, cycling through them like the seasons that pass as time creeps on. Blood is sacred in that oaths are sworn upon it, one’s life tied to another in a promise so great that another’s life was staked upon it. Brotherhoods are formed in blood, cuts slashed into skin to allow the intermingling of one’s self with another.

The taking of blood was a great sin, condemning those who commit the act to an eternity of damnation, vying for salvation in any form they could find it. Cain stole Abel’s blood at the dawn of time, unleashing blood that was not his to give upon the earth and dooming all those that would follow in his path.

Humanity’s greatest monsters were those that ripped through flesh and stole blood from unwilling victims, rivers of blood like red silk against porcelain skin. Demons who once called themselves humans now drank their fill, casting themselves into darkness in fear of the shame the light of day would cast upon them.

These creatures had many names given to them over the centuries. Known as shtriga in Albania, vrykolakas in Greek, and strigoi in Romanian, most people knew them in modern times simply as vampires. Humanity had lost their fear of these creatures, writing them off as fairytales conjured up by ignorant, village folk who needed a reason for every bump in the night and a reason to keep their children in line.

Mutilations that were once the obvious work of the blood sucking dead, were now attributed to fellow human beings if not the odd wild animal attack. Humanity had strayed from the knowledge of their ancestors to favor the logic of the modern era. There couldn’t possibly be creatures that sustain themselves off the blood of other living beings, not ones that take the shape of a human, anyway. Of course you had insect species and small mammals that did so, but what evolutionary purpose would it serve a humanoid to sustain on nothing but blood?

How naïve they all had been.

No one was quite sure what to make of the press conferences at first, some believing them to be some kind of mass prank or some elaborate movie advertisement. It wasn’t long after that their kind started coming out in waves, no longer content to hide in the darkness that had once been their sanctuary.

The world had been in shock as droves of these creatures made themselves known, neighbors showing their true nature and some even advocating for the full integration of their kind with humans. Of course, there had been just as much pushback. People demanding that vampire kind leave, to where, they didn’t care. Just so long as they wouldn’t be forced to mingle and play nice with something they didn’t understand.

Vampire advocates had smiled placatingly each time, assuring the general masses that they had nothing to fear, reminding them that vampires had been there the whole time. Most people accepted this, most somewhat begrudgingly. After all, with their presence out in the open, at least there could be consequences and regulations, right?

Those in charge assured everyone that by working together, a new status quo could be created, the call for blood donors going out. While open feeding was not outlawed, it was highly discouraged—the powers that be wanting to maintain some semblance of control. A surprising number of people jumped at the opportunity to donate blood, whether it was through the hope that doing so would keep them from being attacked in the future or simply out of sheer curiosity and enthusiasm. It was the younger generations that seemed more at ease with the sudden development, a sense of cautious excitement ringing in the air in those first few weeks after the initial announcements. You had been finishing up some documents for a report to hand into your boss at the end of the day when Madison had stopped at your desk, a mischievous smile to compliment the spark in her eye.

“Can you believe that Dave from accounting has been a vampire all this time?” She whispered, though you don’t know why she bothered when her voice carried the way it did. You arched a brow at her, hands not stopping in their work as you waited for her to continue.

“I mean,” she scoffed, “who would have thought Dave of all people to be a vampire? He’s so…boring.”

“Vampires are just people, Mads,” you supplied, noting how strange the words felt on your tongue. It was true, of course, but three weeks ago, you’d never imagine having this conversation.

“Yeah, I guess,” she pouted, twirling a finger in her blonde curls. “I dunno, I just thought vampires were supposed to be these natural seducers or whatever. Hot and mysterious. Dave is…well, actually he’s not that bad now that I think about it a little more.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you snorted, a smile tugging at your lips as you paused in your typing to look at her. The grin was back on her face as she waggled her eyebrows.

“You love me,” she declared with a shrug. “Besides, you’re going to tell me you’ve never thought about what it would be like to do it with one of them?”

“No, Mads,” you rolled your eyes. “The thought of never crossed my mind of what it would be like to ‘do it’ with them. They’re the same people they’ve always been, just like I’m the same person I was three weeks ago. Not much has changed, not really.”

“You’re such a bummer sometimes, you know?” Madison giggled with a shake of her head. “You can fool everyone else, but you can’t fool me, babe. I know you’ve got a wild side in you somewhere. We just have to find it!”

She didn’t wait for your response before she turned on her heels and walked away. You loved Madison dearly, really you did. You’d been friends since high school, and you knew she meant well, but you also knew that her words were more than just words. You’d find out what she was up to eventually, and you knew you wouldn’t like it.

You glanced at the clock—almost quitting time. You leaned back in your chair with a grunt, stretching out your back and shoulders before slumping forward. You knew you weren’t the most exciting person, that had always been Madison. Where she was the life of the party, you were content to hug the walls, watching the party go on around you in mild fascination. Madison had no problem going out and meeting people, the string of boyfriends and girlfriends she left behind her a testament of that. You hadn’t had a date in ages, vaguely recalling the first date with some random guy Madison had set you up with. He was a decent guy, Randy or Ricky or Rocky or whatever his name had been, but the spark just hadn’t been there. You supposed you were getting too old to believe in the possibility of true love or love at first sight. You’d have to settle like most anyone else.

With a sigh, you began closing out of the different programs you’d had open on your desktop, making sure that you had all the components for the report for your boss before slinging your purse over your shoulder. Yes, vampires may be real, but a fairytale romance surely was not.

A/N: Okay, yeah lol We're trying something new. We're branching out into uncharted territory. What of it?

As always, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. I no longer do taglists, so if you would like to be notified on when I post, please follow my sideblog ( @sailoraviator-library ) and turn on post notifications! You can find me and my works on AO3 under the username arcane_vagabond. Until next time!

[buscandoelparaiso]

Please this year Italy wasn't that chaotic

the crazy bald coach fought with our best striker because he stayed up all night playing FIFA before a match, we allowed albania to score a few seconds in beating a national record, our goalkeeper was about to commit murder on the pitch during every single match we played, a murder that would have included coach, coach staff and teammates. a lazio player came out of nowhere played 2 seconds against luka modric, scored a goal 7 seconds before the final whistle and sent us to the next round when we were basically DEAD. in the celebration of said goal one of our players almost broke a rib pressed by other teammates in the 'azzurri bundle', we scored an own goal against spain who drove us crazy for 90 minutes but didn't manage to score at all (we are still wondering HOW). In the meantime, same crazy bald coach decided to be a stracciacoglioni and forced everyone to follow military rules for the duration of the euro training, everyone hated them and most likely rebelled against, he also chose the worst line ups he could assemble ever in every single match, got them ALL wrong and possibly beat his own personal record of shit. he then proceeded to blame the players (and club coaches????? and hot weather???) for the poor performance, confirming he did nothing wrong and he was just a poor soul with bad players all around. Now players are indirecting him on social media because they basically can't stand him and his ideas of game, italian press can't stand him either and wants his head on a plate but he's obviously not going away because of the good old italian tradition of having your ass glued to the chair forever even if hell breaks lose. ALL this happened in 2 weeks and we also served cunt and faces because we were the hottest team in the tournament

[dweemeister]

By Rory Smith

BILBAO (The New York Times) — Miguel Martínez was not entirely sure how to react. On Monday evening, he found himself standing outside a bar in Bilbao, tuning in and out of his colleagues’ conversation, his eyes fixed on a television screen inside. He has been avidly tracking Spain’s progress in the European soccer championship, he said, and a work trip was not going to get in the way.

He had watched the country’s first two games with his 13-year-old son, back home in Seville. The city, he said, has caught a severe dose of major tournament fever, a condition that reliably sweeps across Europe on a biennial basis. Balconies are decorated with Spanish flags. The streets are alive with Spanish jerseys. Spain’s wins have prompted wild celebrations.

As far as Mr. Martínez could tell, though, Bilbao was somehow immune. There were plenty of flags draped from balconies, but they stood for Palestine, or Pride, or, most commonly, the Basque Country itself, in the form of the region’s traditional Ikurriña. The Spanish flag flew only from a handful of official buildings.

Mr. Martínez was well aware of why that is. The Basque Country, a mountainous region that presses up against the Bay of Biscay and the Pyrenees in the north of Spain, has long regarded itself as distinct from the rest of the nation. It has its own language, culture and identity. The Basque struggle for autonomy, even independence, has long and bloody roots.

He was keen, then, to be respectful of his hosts, and not cause any offense. When Spain scored early in its third group game, a meeting with Albania, he and his colleagues responded with a brief, muted cheer — little more than an exhalation, rather than the joyous abandon they might have displayed in Seville.

[mapsontheweb]

The territorial history of Armenia and Azerbaijan

“Atlas of the Ethno-Political History of the Caucasus”, Arthur Tsutsiev, Yale University Press, 2014

The Armenian historical view centers on the global threat associated with the expansion of Turkic-speaking tribal groups into former Armenian territories, including Artsakh (Karabakh). Today's Azerbaijan is itself largely the former Caucasian Albania, a land which became Christian in the middle of the 4th century, submerged from the 11th century by Turkish invasions and which, in the 19th century, completely disappeared, transformed into a territory Turkish and Muslim.

Azerbaijan comes from the Democratic Republic of Azerbaijan of 1918-1920, created following Turkish intervention and taking its name from a Persian region located further south. This part of Eastern Transcaucasia, incorporated into Russia between 1803 and 1828, is in fact a former Persian territory with an indigenous sedentary Armenian population and a nomadic Turkish-Kurdish population who arrived later.

After the First World War, the Armenians would not have a state in the former Ottoman territories but a small formerly Russian territory around the city of Yerevan, southwestern part of the Transcaucasian Federative Democratic Republic (April -May 1918) which takes the name of the Democratic Republic of Armenia. From June 1920, the Kemalist Turkish nationalists began negotiations with the Soviets and the demarcation of the borders of the Armenian Soviet Socialist Republic (born December 2) was ultimately to the detriment of the Armenians themselves, since it did not does not include Karabakh, included entirely in Azerbaijan, at the insistent request of the Turks.

From then on, the Armenians are a people who have the particularity of being deprived of a large part of their historical territory even though it dates back to the 9th century BC with the kingdom of Urartu and its territorial peak dates from the end of the 2nd century BC when King Tigranes dominated a territory stretching from the Caspian to the Mediterranean.

by cartesdhistoire

[unnervinglyferal]

List of European countries and why I hate them, in alphabetical order:

Albania - I've never heard fucking anything about the people here, do you people even do anything save for having beef with everyone else in the Balkans. Fuck you.

Andorra - I don't think this place is even a real country. It's like the size of my dick. Fuck you.

Austria - You know what you did. Fuck you.

Belarus - Sucking Russia's dick just for the novelty of getting to be featured in their ongoing cringe compilation. An utter embarrassment. Fuck you.

Belgium - If there's two things I hate, it's colonialist brutality and the fucking smurfs. Fuck you.

Bosnia and Herzegovina - Despite all the rest of their shitshow, at least the rest of the Balkans can at least agree whether they're one country or two countries. Make up your minds. Fuck you.

Bulgaria - The best thing you've got going on is the yoghurt and even that isn't as good as the greek ones. Fuck you.

Croatia - Out of all the countries in Europe whose existence I had literally forgot about, this is the oldest and the largest. How do you trace your history back to the fucking antiquity and only barely seem to exist at all? Fuck you.

Cyprus - I actually had to google to check that Cyprus isn't just a part of Greece, but apparently you gained independence from the UK in 1960? How the fuck are you in Europe and get colonized by Europe. Fuck you.

Czech Republic - Your main export is utterly unpronounceable last names. There's a reason why you can't shouldn't be allowed to put five consonants in a row. Fuck you.

Denmark - Annoyingly smug golden retriever-ass mushy-faced fucks. If I pressed my open palm into a dane's face, it would ooze through my fingers because these mushy fucks don't have bones.

Estonia - The bitter, prettier and smarter sister to Finland who is passive-aggressively better at everything but still doesn't get the same attention. Finns show up to your shores to raid the booze stores, vomit on everything, and leave, and you just let them. Fuck you.

Finland - An entire nation of spoiled ivory tower whiners who just will not understand how good they have it. The entire country would die out by mass suicide if things ever got half as bad as they are in the rest of the world. Fuck you.

France - The only reason why the french aren't known as an equal mass of colonialist brutes as the brits are is the language barrier. They're just as stupid but you'll never know what they're thinking because they consider learning another language to be beneath them. Fuck you.

Georgia - The americans stole your name and put it on a state and you just fucking let them. Now we have to hear about their utter lack of understanding of geography every single time some shit happens at your borders. Fuck you.

Germany - I'm jewish. And looking at your involvement in Israel, I'm starting to think you people don't really even care that much whose side you're on, if there's a genocide happening anywhere, you just like to be included. Fuck you.

Greece - You have like 4000 years of recorded history verifying that you've spent that entire time thinking you're smarter and prettier than anyone else in the whole world. You specifically invented the word hubris to describe yourselves. Fuck you.

Hungary - I'm pretty sure that you guys are the reason why people think all of Europe is a backwards shithole. Fuck you.

Iceland - The only reason you people can dedicate all of your time in inbreeding ponies and people is because your climate is so miserable that nobody wants to move there. Fuck you.

Ireland - Your climate is just as wet and miserable as Iceland, but you still got colonized by the english. Fuck you.

Italy - I've never met an italian who was capable of doing anything in a punctual and organized way. Imagining a whole country being run by italians seems impossible. Like having 15 cats successfully operating a tank. Fuck you.

Kosovo - What the fuck even is the Balkans. You guys don't even have your own language. Fuck you.

Latvia - Like Estonia without any of the good parts. Fuck you.

Liechtenstein - This isn't even a real country, this is just the quarantine containment where Switzerland ships the people who are too annoying for Switzerland. Fuck you.

Lithuania - The most boring of the Baltics. Fuck you.

Luxembourg - There is no way this place is fucking real. The fuck do you mean your citizens are called luxembourgers. The fuck do you mean your official language is luxembourgish. What the fuck is any of this. Fuck you.

Malta - Same thing as Liechtenstein, but for all surrounding countries around the Mediterranean sea. Fuck you.

Moldova - How and why is there a tiny-ass country the size of my dick on the border of the Balkans. How does this exist. Fuck you.

Monaco - This isn't a real country, it's a french ploy for tax evasion. Fuck you.

Montenegro - Oh won't you look at that, another teeny tiny Balkan country. Montenegrin is the stupidest name I've ever heard for a language, that sounds like a comedy bit. Fuck you.

Netherlands - Fuck your weed and fuck your bicycles. Fuck you.

North Macedonia - This also feels like a country they just made up just to make the list of European countries longer. Fuck you.

Norway - Fuck your oil and fuck you.

Poland - Your main export is far right politics and porn-addicted communist furry femboys. Fuck you.

Portugal - Spain but a little bit to the left. The only way to tell the spanish and the portugese apart is by whether they get mad when you call them spanish. Fuck you.

Romania - Get your fucking shit together. Fuck you.

Russia - Fuck you.

San Marino - Italy has two stupid little city-states as pets. This one is the one I hate less because it only contains tax evaders.

Serbia - The only thing I know about Serbia is A Serbian Film. Fuck that film and fuck you for making me remember it.

Slovakia - The wettest, saddest slavs of all the slavs of Europe. Fuck you.

Slovenia - Slovene is the second-stupidest name I've ever heard for a language. Fuck you.

Spain - I have no idea how the fuck a people who are as disorganized as italians managed to also be as competent as france and britain at colonialism. Fuck you.

Sweden - As smug and mushy as danes and as inbred as icelanders. Fuck you.

Switzerland - You know what you did. And continue doing. Fuck you.

Ukraine - You wouldn't be in this fucking situation if you hadn't trusted Soviet Union's pinky promise to never invade. A russian's promise is not worth the oxygen it wastes. You guys are cool but nonetheless, fuck you.

United Kingdom - Fuck you smug bastards for everything.

Vatican City - Italy has two stupid little city-states as pets. This one is the one I hate more because it contains the pope. Fuck you.

[mariacallous]

Faruk Fatih Özer stood in front of a passport control officer at Istanbul Airport, a line of impatient travelers queuing behind him. He pulled his face mask below his chin for the security camera. Surely he was nervous. The 27-year-old had unruly black hair, a boy-band face, and a patchy beard. Normally he overcompensated for his callow features by dressing in a pressed three-piece suit. But this spring day he wore black trainers and a navy-blue sweater hastily pulled over a white polo shirt, as if he had dressed in a dash. A small backpack was slung over his right shoulder. He looked like someone who could have been going on a last-minute day trip—or someone planning to never come back. At 5:57 pm on April 20, 2021, the guard stamped his Turkish passport and Özer shuffled through the crowd to Gate C, a flash drive containing a rumored $2 billion (£1.6 billion) in crypto stashed in his belongings.

After Özer’s plane reached Tirana, Albania, at 9:24 that night, he checked into the Mondial, a popular 4-star business hotel in the capital’s commercial district. A couple of days later, he looked at his social media accounts. A mob was very angry with him: Customers couldn’t access their money on the exchange Thodex, where he was founder and CEO, and people were accusing him of absconding with their funds.

Özer posted a public letter to his company’s website and his social accounts. “I feel compelled to make this statement in order to respond urgently to these allegations,” he wrote. The accusations weren’t true, he said. Thodex—which had nearly half a million investors and $500 million (£400 million) in daily trade volume—was investigating what Özer claimed was a suspected cyberattack that caused “an abnormal fluctuation in the company account.” Assets would be frozen for five days while Thodex resolved the issue. This was terribly bad timing for the big business deal he said he was en route to make: selling the company, or so he had told some employees and his brother and sister before he left. All would be made right. “There will be no victims,” he promised. “I personally declare that I will return to Turkey within a few days and ensure that the facts are revealed in cooperation with judicial authorities and that I will do my best to prevent users from suffering.” Of course, there was this possibility too: He was in the midst of pulling off the biggest heist in Turkey’s history.

Before dawn the day after Özer posted the letter, police squads fanned out across Istanbul and public prosecutors opened an investigation. Law enforcement arrested 62 people, including Thodex employees at all levels of the company—and Özer’s older brother and sister, Güven and Serap. Interpol issued a red notice, a request for law enforcement worldwide to find and “provisionally arrest” Özer pending his extradition to Turkey. Search teams deployed across Albania, Montenegro, Kosovo, and North Macedonia. There were reported sightings of the dark-haired young man across Tirana, rumors that he had gone to a poultry farm, that an executive from the Albanian football league was sheltering him. Soon, the Albanian police arrested people accused of aiding and abetting him. But no one seemed to know exactly where Özer was.

Özer had vanished at a particularly precarious time in crypto’s annals: In the weeks leading up to his disappearance, so-called rug pulls—when a cryptocurrency exchange or altcoin developer absconds with investors’ funds—had crypto investors around the globe flabbergasted. The CEO of Mirror Trading International, a crypto trading company based in South Africa, defrauded users of more than $1 billion, then skipped town; TurtleDex, an anonymous decentralized finance storage project on Binance, reportedly vanished with $2.4 million; another decentralized finance project, Meerkat, reportedly fleeced investors out of $31 million (of which they paid back 95 percent). Blockchain analysis firm Chainalysis ranked rug pulls as the primary scam of 2021, accounting for 37 percent of all cryptocurrency scam revenue that year, up from 1 percent the year before.

Thodex was at the top of that roster, and nearly every major outlet from Bloomberg to Newsweek published headlines like “Turkish Crypto Exchange Goes Bust as Founder Flees Country” and “Turkish Cryptocurrency Founder Faruk Fatih Özer Seen Fleeing Country With Suspected $2 Billion From Investors.” CoinGeek called it “the biggest scam in the digital asset industry in 2021.” The New York Times’ headline read, “Possible Cryptocurrency Fraud Is Another Blow to Turkey’s Financial Stability.” In Turkey, the country I now call home, people were reeling: For years, crypto had been built up—largely by Özer but by others too—as a way out of economic volatility. Now it seemed like just another way to lose your life savings. But something felt off to me, like the whole story wasn’t being told.

[black-arcana]

WITHIN TEMPTATION Shares Preview Of New Single 'A Fool's Parade'

On April 5, 2024, WITHIN TEMPTATION will release their brand-new song, "A Fool's Parade", which marks a collaboration with the talented Ukrainian producer Alex Yarmak. According to a press release from WITHIN TEMPTATION's publicist, "A Fool's Parade" "highlights Russia's pretense regarding the war, and condemns its lies, ongoing crimes and brutal intentions."

A preview of "A Fool's Parade" is available below.

The song, released as a harbinger of the much-anticipated "Bleed Out 2024 Tour", is a powerful expression of what the press release calls "WITHIN TEMPTATION's commitment to continue shedding light on the ongoing existential struggle that Ukraine is facing against Russia's cruel invasion."

For the recording of the accompanying music video for "A Fool's Parade", Sharon den Adel — the frontwoman of WITHIN TEMPTATION — traveled to Kyiv, Ukraine. The music video is being directed by renowned Ukrainian video director Indy Hait.

With involvement in initiatives such as the Ukraine Aid OPS foundation, WITHIN TEMPTATION aims to keep drawing attention to Europe's much-needed support for Ukraine's defense.

In a June 2023 interview with James Wilson-Taylor of Rock Sound, Den Adel spoke about the lyrical inspiration for WITHIN TEMPTATION's "Wireless" single: "When the war started in the Ukraine, we were in the studio writing songs, And it's one of the songs that we wrote. And it is about war, of course. It's about a soldier going to war and thinking he's going to liberate people, do good stuff and be a hero and everything, but then he finds out that he's been lied to by media but also government. And then he finds that he can't go back because he's already in his army gear, for instance. You can't go forward, you can't go backward because you have your buddies next to you and you'll all die in the field. And in front of you, you have a mission impossible almost."

The Dutch singer continued: "So that's what we try to do — maybe also shine a light on certain situations within the war. It's just we're storytellers — it's like amplifying a certain kind of emotion that people could feel in this situation."

Asked how she and her bandmates decided to use Russia's invasion of Ukraine as inspiration for one of their songs, Sharon said: "Well, from my point of view, it's not just their war. I really believe what some people are saying — it's really our war as well. Because it's next to us. They already said, they're not gonna stop at Ukraine; they're gonna go further. And a couple of hours flying from my home, it's already Kyiv. So it's also our war. I think we should be aware of the fact that this is a danger for all of us. They won't stop. And hopefully — we wanna keep this a little bit alive in our own small way by writing about it and talking about it and waving a flag on stage about it."

In March 2022, WITHIN TEMPTATION was one of the artists who took part in a telethon concert in support of Ukraine. "Save Ukraine - #StopWar" united more than 20 countries and bring together more than 50 participants. The marathon was broadcast from Warsaw on the Polish TV channel TVP. In addition, broadcasters from many countries around the world, including Estonia (EBR),Lithuania (LTR),the Czech Republic (ČT2),Georgia (GPB / First),Albania (RTSH 2),Montenegro, Slovenia, Latvia (LTV),Croatia (HRT),Slovakia (RTVS),Austria (Puls 4),Cyprus, Canada (OMNI) and others, rebroadcasted the marathon on their local channels.

In an interview with Greece's Rock Overdose, Den Adel stated about her band's participation in the event: "For us, it was an honor to be asked for it. I think as a band and as people, we really value freedom of speech and freedom and democracy. I think as a band, people sometimes say, 'Don't be so political,' people say, 'Don't be so expressive and don't take a side on things.' But as a musician, I think it's important to represent who you are, not just in music but really stand for what you make and what you are saying in your lyrics in a way. And things that are happening in the world inspire us to write music, and then you also have to take a stance and what side you are. I think when it's so obvious where there's an aggressor and where there is a country being violated, invaded, you should take a stance and then it makes it much easier even to be very clear about where you stand in this whole conflict. Of course, it's something that we are keeping ourselves updated with every day because we find it very sad to see that a country that wants to be a democracy is invaded this way. So we are very honored to be asked also to play for this event, this marathon, and happy to do it."

Released last October, WITHIN TEMPTATION's latest album, "Bleed Out", signifies a bold leap forward for the band. From contemporary, hard-hitting, and djenty riffs to soaring melodies displaying their symphonic roots, WITHIN TEMPTATION has created a sonic journey that fuses diverse musical styles and thought-provoking themes. This is an album that is as epic as it is unflinchingly outspoken, and now more than ever, this is a band who isn't afraid to make a stand on issues the members care about.

Since the start of the war in Ukraine, WITHIN TEMPTATION have shifted their focus from writing about personal emotions and societal subjects to tackling global injustices and reflecting the tumultuous state of the world in a way that other artists seem unable or unwilling to do.

While songs such as "Wireless" and "We Go To War" examine the authoritarian aggression on display in Ukraine and other warzones, the title track itself addresses the plight of women fighting for their rights in Iran after the murder of Mahsa Amini.

The album also grapples with the complex issues around a woman's right to choose in recent single "Don't Pray For Me" and throughout, this impassioned and political focus is reflected in the intensity and heaviness of the music. Embracing a new era of musical exploration and lyrical depth, WITHIN TEMPTATION have pushed boundaries and showcased their artistic evolution, delivering a fist-in-the-air proclamation of both their moral convictions and their fearless approach to music.

[because-its-eurovision]

Even though I've been watching for years I still don't understand all the ins and outs of the running order (I only know that being in the first half of the final is bad?) but I'm looking forward to hearing you talk about it and learning more 😌

How to get the best out of Eurovision running order 101 👩‍🏫

Rule of thumb: the later, the better. Especially if you try to win. Nobody has ever won Eurovision performing second.

Allocation draw for the semi-finals is held in January, Big-5 countries draw their half for the final during the opening ceremony, and semi-final qualifiers draw their halfs for the grand final at the press conferences after their semi. Producers then decide the running order and it is accepted by EBU. The only exception is the host country, which draws their place in the running order randomly during the EBU meeting in March. Try to be lucky.

In semi-final the second half has better qualification rate than the first half. Second and third place have the worst qualification rates.

To avoid performing second place, try not to be annoying and/or from these countries: Estonia (2013 & 2021) Latvia (2014 & 2022), Israel (2014 & 2022), Ireland (2015 & 2019), Poland (2016 & 2017), Romania (2018 & 2022), Albania (2019 & 2021).

Usually a maximum of five songs qualify from the first half, the only exception so far being the first semi of 2018 with six qualifiers from the first half. The usual split is 3/7, 4/6 or 5/5.

Hope that you get to perform last. But if your song is an uptempo, performed on the last spot of the semi-final and you qualify, be prepared to open the grand final (Belgium 2016, Israel 2017, Ukraine 2018, Czech Republic 2022).

Hope for a place right before or right after a commercial break. If you want to ensure a spot after a break, bring a big prop that needs extra time to get ready on stage (United Kingdom 2017, Ireland 2021, Australia 2022).

The producers give the favorites best places in the running order, usually as late as possible in their half. You can try to influence that by betting for your own country so it gets high up in the odds (Malta 2021).

If there are many favorites or frontrunners, they are not placed back-to-back. Being the one entry sandwiched between two favorites is not great so try to avoid that (Cyprus 2015, Denmark 2017, United Kingdom 2019).

The running order isn’t everything. Of the last ten winners, five came from the first half and five from the second half. Eight times out of ten, the winning song was performed earlier than the one that placed second. Most important thing is to have a great song, all the rest follows.

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

So there's going to be a press conference on Sunday and Olena's going to be part of it too? Can we hope for a joint appearance?

Maybe because she accompanies him for support and send a sign, but it's probably more of a President event. I doubt we will see her there. She was never present for the big press conferences.

It's going to be interesting how they will organize all the events for the war anniversary. If he travels to Poland or the border on February 24, they will probably have to push back some events to February 25 or cancel some or someone else takes over (or if Tusk and / or Duda travel to Kyiv they will attend events together but I doubt that).

They most likely had planned some joined appearances for February 24 (remembrance service in St. Sophia, visiting the wall and laying down flowers, ...). The question is how many events are still going to happen (on this day or February 25). Or maybe, if he's out of town, Olena takes over with Shmyhal or Stefanchuck or someone else.

They also had probably invited people to Kyiv for the war anniversary, so if these visits still happen, who knows when and who will greet the guests (if the visits haven't been cancelled).

A lot depends on the Polish situation right now and if the meeting on February 24 takes place or not (and how long he will be gone for that day).

I can see them traveling together next week (February 28) when Ze visits Albania. The First Lady of Albania invited Olena a while ago and she was very invested since summer in Olena's projects. And with all the new audio guides and Ukrainian bookshelves, I can see them also finishing projects in Albania besides the First Lady of Albania getting part of Olena's other projects and working with her as First Ladies (and Albania getting part of the OZF maybe).

Plus, there are rumours about Ze either meeting Erdoğan in Albania or a trip to Turkey in addition, and Olena hasn't then Emine Erdoğan in a while.

So, fingers crossed for Albania. 😁🤞

And maybe at least one small couple appearance on February 24 or 25. 👀

[togetherhearted]

Hi! Could I please get a match up with a record of ragnarok character (if you can't pick one it's alright to pick multiple)? :D

• I'm 18 years old and I have light brown hair that's wavy and reaches past my shoulders, my skin is very pale and I have hazel eyes, I also wear glasses, I'm 163cm tall and have a sorta curvy body but I'm a little chubby on my stomach because I like trying knew food or sweets I see, I'd consider myself polite and friendly, I'm an intp, so I'm closed off at first but when I actually become friends with someone I can have a more extroverted personality around them, I unfortunately can be a bit jealous and possessive but I don't tell the person I am, I hate to ruin someone's mood or friendship with someone else just because I'm jealous, so I try to press it down as much as I can

I like: Anything to do with space or theory about the universe, cooking/baking, visiting new places with my friends, bike rides, movies, chess, libraries, reading, leaning about different cultures, cats, music and coffee

I dislike: People being rude to my friends, spiders, overy sweet food and alcohol

Hobbies: Cooking/Baking, playing the piano and violin, chess, tennis, gardening

I'm half Albania and half Croatian so I speak Albania, Croatian and English, as a kid I was in theater and in ballet, I also did traditional dancing and I was in a lot of preferences

Mhhhh let's see my instincts matches you with our beloved king of the underworld

[lambtotheslaughterr]

The Agenda Today

A Lloyd Hansen Mini Series

PART ONE

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 4.1k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

SERIES MASTERLIST | PART TWO

1:00 PM

The panini was hot when you took it out of the toaster oven. Wanda insisted on making Gracie’s lunch—she was the cook after-all—but you didn’t mind making something in place of her. Wanda made breakfast, lunch, dinner, & sometimes even dessert almost everyday. You wanted to give her a break. When she tried to resist your presence in the kitchen you told her to go sit poolside for an hour or two & just relax; she didn’t often get to enjoy the warm Albanian weather. It didn’t take much convincing when she added that she could FaceTime with her son & his newborn. 

So then she went & you spent a quick twenty minutes in the kitchen to heat up Gracie some lunch. It wasn’t as gourmet or as healthy as Raj—Gracie’s dad—would’ve liked but he was in the UK on business for six months, so you figured what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt. Besides, Gracie was only seven, she didn’t need to be reduced to hearty meals so early. 

After you placed the panini on a plate once it cooled down you raised your wrist to your mouth, tapped a button on the advanced screen watch you wore, & spoke into it.

“Shehu, lunch is ready, mind bringing Gracie down?”

“One minute.” His short response replied.

You situated the plate with a glass of water & Gracie’s favorite juice at one end of the island. As you waited for Shehu to appear with Gracie you peered out the window that overlooked the backyard where Wanda laid on a lounger under an umbrella, a smile on her face as she spoke on her phone. 

It was a bittersweet feeling, watching Wanda connect with her son. You had no family to contact. You were an only child, your mom having died when you were little, & your dad having passed a couple years ago. It was shortly after his death that you accepted a position as a live-in nanny in Albania of all places. But nothing was keeping you home anymore. It was time for you to begin again somewhere new.

“_____! _____!” Gracie hollered your name as she skipped into the kitchen, an expression of excitement on her young delicate features.

“Guess what me & Shehu did!”

“Shehu & I.” You quirked a brow.

“Shehu & I.” She responded dully but with a smile on her face nonetheless, “Guess, guess!”

“Faked a moon landing? No? Hmm. Drew stars on your wall? No? Well, I don’t know, Gracie. What did you do?”

As if she was just dying for you to ask, she hollered of her shoulder, “Shehu, come in here please!”

Pressing your lips together, you had an idea of what they had gotten up to judging off of Gracie’s very proud & loud beckon. 

Sure enough, heavy steps sounded on the granite as Shehu appeared from the main hallway & into the kitchen.

“Oh Shehu…” You faded, your eyes taking in his new makeover. While he was still dressed in his typical all black attire, he now had poorly plastered purple lipstick on his lips, a vibrant blue eyeshadow that actually worked beautifully with his skin tone, & painfully pink cheeks. To quite literally top it off, was glitter in his thick dark hair. 

“He let me practice on him.” Gracie shared as she admired her work. 

“It looks beautiful.” You added, your eyes meeting Shehu’s that always appeared expressionless. 

“Thank you, Shehu.” Gracie grinned widely, “We’ll practice again tomorrow.”

Shehu nodded his head once, “Tomorrow, Miss West.”

With that, Shehu turned on his heal & his large frame disappeared from sight. 

“Where’s Wanda?” Gracie asked as she hopped onto her seat at the island. “She definitely didn’t make this.”

You rolled your eyes at the playful jab, “Oh, you’re funny.”

The two of you traded smiles from across the island as she happily bit into the panini. 

“So?” Gracie asked around a mouthful of food.

“Hey.” You shake your head at her, “Chew, swallow, then talk. Remember?”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember.” She dramatically chewed her food to show you she was listening. You laughed softly before answering her. 

Once Gracie was finished with her lunch you rinsed the dishes & placed them in the dishwasher. Gracie was washing her hands at the sink when Wanda came in from outside. 

“Patrick is getting so big.” Wanda gushed as she crossed the kitchen to where you stood. 

“How old is he now?” You inquired about her grandson whom she still hadn’t met.

“Just over three months.” She sighed heavenly, a small crease in her brows furrowing as what appeared to be a cloud of sadness forming of her.

“You’ll meet him soon.” You rubbed her shoulder, offering a reassuring smile, “As soon as Raj gets back from the UK. I promise.”

“I just wish it wasn’t three months away still.”

“I know.” You replied softly. Wanda quickly shook off the negativity & grinned widely at Gracie who was inspecting the flowers in the window.

“Lunch was good Gracie?”

She shrugged, “It was okay. I still prefer your cooking.”

“Okay!” You exclaimed playfully, “I’m standing right here.”

The three of you shared a laugh before you walked over to Gracie, “So what shall we do next, little one?

“Hmm. Art?” She hopped off the counter & grabbed your hand, dragging towards the stairs that lead to the second floor of the villa.

“Have fun you two!” Wanda hollered.

9:30 PM

Gracie was fast asleep. You ventured into your shared bathroom with her to peek into her room. Her nightlight that resembled the moon glowed softly in the darkness. You watched as her little chest rose & fell with each soft breath. Closing the door, sure to leave it with a crack, you returned to your room & changed into something more comfortable.

It was almost the end of the week & you hadn’t yet built Gracie’s schedule for next week. As you gingerly crafted out the rest of the month, you couldn’t help but to think how fortunate you were to land this job. After losing your dad, you felt incredibly alone & lost. A majority of your nights consisted of sitting in your shoebox of an apartment, rewatching episodes of Rugrats & eating canned fruit. You felt unsure of your future. But you did need to make the rent. Bills & a roof over your head didn’t care about your grief.

That’s when you discovered the live in nanny position. You had all the right credentials for the job & enough experience to secure you it, it was just the interview you had to ace. You hadn’t met with Raj West himself but with his assistant Marie. She was older, in her 50s, but very particular & punctual in nature. She had intimidated you, which you thought would absolutely be the reason she wouldn’t hire you. But not two hours after the interview were you called to be offered the position.

That was three years ago. 

Now you had moved with the family to Raj’s hometown of Vlorë, Albania where he wanted Gracie to be raised. You had nothing or no one that would miss you in the states, so away you went. 

Gracie & Raj West had been the best thing to happen to you. When you had finally met Raj, which was a month after you were hired, you were pleasantly surprised to meet a young man in his 30s who was very happy to be a dad, only his career wouldn’t let him do it for too long at a time. 

When Raj was around, you & Wanda typically had that window to be released from your duties for however long Raj could be away from work. The longest he had ever been home was three weeks straight. Wanda always took the opportunity to return to the states to see her son & family, which you couldn’t blame her for, but you preferred staying around.

Gracie had become your only friend in the three years that you cared for her. She was spunky, sassy, smart, funny, & all-too observing her a girl her age. But she made you feel safe, loved, welcome. She cared about you as deeply as you cared about her. It would take an army & then some to separate you from her. You hoped to always be in her life & watch her grow.

You were nearly finished with scheduling the rest of the month on your homemade calendar when the security light outside your window erupted your room with light. 

Hissing from the abrupt brightness, you tossed the calendar onto the floor & stepped up to the window. Holding your hand over your eyes, you peered out, your window overlooking the garden & driveway at the front of the villa. The surrounding edges of the property were all plant-life made up trees & thick bushes for privacy from curious eyes on the street. 

A shadow appeared on the gravel outside. Bringing your watch to your mouth, you spoke into it, “Shehu, please tell me that’s your shadow I see out front.”

In response, the shadow stepped forward. Shehu appeared, his face now wiped clean from Gracie’s make-up. He nodded once up at you as he pressed his finger to his ear to respond, “Security light was tripped. It was likely an animal but I’m going to edge the perimeter to be sure.”

“Thank you, Shehu.” You responded waving down at him—to which he did not return. Shehu took his job seriously—something you were thankful for.

“Have a good night, Miss _____.”

“You too.”

Drawing the blinds closed, you poked your head once more into Gracie’s room to ensure the light didn’t wake her. She slept soundlessly. 

Back in your bedroom, you put the calendar away & plugged your phone in, setting it for 6:00 am. Just as you were getting under the covers, the security light finally clicked off. You waited for Shehu’s confirmation that everything was secure. After a moment when he still hadn’t made contact, you raised the watch to your wrist, “Shehu? Everything okay or did that animal get a piece of you?”

Silence. You frowned, sitting upwards, your hands on the edge of the covers in preparation to go check on him. Another moment passed & you felt your stomach flip. Pushing the covers off, you had just slipped into your night shoes when the watch blared.

“Perimeter secure.” Shehu responded in his usual robotic tone.

Releasing a relieved sigh, you chuckled softly, “Don’t scare me like that.”

“Goodnight, Shehu. See you in the morning.”

Getting back into bed, you flicked off the lamp on your nightstand. Pulling the covers over your head for prime warmth, you allowed sleep to come for you.

8:05 AM

Gracie sat at the island eating Wanda’s homemade pancakes & overnight oats while you made yourself a cup of tea. 

“Did the light bother you much last night?” Wanda asked as she sliced an array of fruits for Gracie’s snack later. 

“No, I’m used to it now. It’s just the suddenness of it that irritates me.”

Wanda laughs knowingly, “You & me both.”

Gracie hummed a song to herself, swinging her feet lazily. You observed briefly, taking a sip of your Earl Grey.

“How’d you sleep, Gracie?” Wanda questioned.

Gracie sat back to ponder, “I think okay.”

“You think?” You smile.

“I didn’t dream.” She replied sullenly. Wanda & you traded knowing looks.

Gracie’s mom had kept a dream journal before she passed. Once Gracie was old enough to understand what that was she wanted to start her own, saying she felt closer to her mother that way. 

“That’s not true.” You said to reassure her, “We always dream. We just sometimes don’t remember them.”

“But I want to remember mine. They’re important.”

“Hmm.” You contemplated for a moment, “Well what do you say that after lunch we take a nap? Yeah? You can make up for it then.”

“Really?!” Gracie jumped in her seat with renewed excitement, “I never get to nap!”

“Just this once!” You shook your head, a smile on your face, “if you still don’t dream then we’ll use our imaginations, okay?”

“Whatever you say!” Gracie jovially sang as she hurriedly finished her breakfast.

“You’ve got her going now.” Wanda noted. You faked a look of regret, “I know I know.”

Once Gracie finished her food she carried the dishes haphazardly over to Wanda, in quite the rush to get the day started.

“Go get your swimsuit on, your instructor will be here shortly.”

Gracie thanked Wanda for breakfast then took off down the hallway. 

“At least all this excitement will actually get her to wind down later.” You shared, finishing off your tea.

“What will you do? While she naps?” 

You sighed softly, eyeing the sunshine outside, “Sew, maybe.”

Wanda half-scoffed, half-laughed, “Oh, honey.”

“What?” The look of pity on her softly wrinkled face made you stare at her wide-eyed.

“Honey, you’re in Europe, you’re 28, you’re single. You should be out having fun with girls your age or making men fall at your feet.”

You laughed but shook your head, “Yeah, yeah. I know. I’m comfortable though. I have you, Gracie, Raj—when he’s around—even Shehu! I got all the girls & men I need.”

Wanda chuckled but let the topic go. She then paused in her task to look around the villa, “Where is Shehu, anyway? I haven’t seen him all morning.”

Your brows furrowed, “That’s strange. He didn’t do his morning check-in?”

Wanda shook her head, “I got a late start this morning myself so I assumed I missed him. But I haven’t seen him doing his perimeter walk now that I think about it.”

“Huh, okay, well.” You placed your tea cup on the counter, “Will you watch Gracie if she gets down here before I get back, I’m going to go look for Shehu.”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.” Leaving Wanda in the kitchen you made your way down a back hallway that lined the rear of the house. It led the security room & Shehu’s adjoining living quarters. 

“Shehu.” You knocked gently, before typing in the code on the door panel. When the locks shifted, you pushed it open. 

The first thing you saw already caused you for alarm but you didn’t want to panic right away. All the security camera’s were off. The screens were either turned off or just appearing black. You stepped into the room & clacked random keys on the keyboard. 

Nothing. The screens didn’t light up or show any activity from your trick. Backing out of the room, you opened Shehu’s bedroom door, “Shehu?”

But his bedroom was empty too. His bed appearing not slept in. 

You tapped your watch to life & brought it to your mouth as you circled to the front of the house, casting Wanda a concerned look when you passed through the kitchen, “Shehu, come in. Where are you?”

“_____!” Gracie appeared behind you on the stairs as she bounded down them in her swimsuit, a wide grin on her face.

“Hey, hey.” You forced a smile, gently grabbing her shoulder & turning her towards the kitchen, “Wanda is gonna watch you for a moment, okay? Go wait in there for me.”

Not waiting to hear what she wanted to say, you swung open the front door, sure to close it behind you & lock it with the door code. 

“Shehu!” You hissed worriedly into your watch, “Where are you?”

The last you saw of him was when he was going to edge the perimeter last night. That was in the front yard. Cautiously you crossed the driveway to the foliage of trees & bushes that remained on the other side. 

“Shehu!” You called out. The villa was only on an acre or so of land. It wasn’t a lot but with all the plant growth, it was dense. You stood at the edge of the driveway, not seeing Shehu’s large frame anywhere.

Your heart was beating fast, it felt sickening. This had never happened before. Something was wrong. 

“Shehu, come in. Where are you?” You spoke with a shaky voice into your watch. Something crackled nearby then rang out. You knew well enough it was picking up your frequency. Part of you wanted to turn around, go back to the house to get Gracie & Wanda & just get out, but what if Shehu was hurt? What if it wasn’t a threat or anything inherently dangerous but Shehu having suffered a heart attack on his walk last night? 

Swallowing your fear, you slowly stepped into the brush. As you ventured cautiously, the frequency grew louder. Your hand was shaking when you raised your wrist to your mouth one more time.

“Shehu.” “Shehu.”

It was your own voice, cracked & marbled. A couple more feet & you came upon a heap on the ground. 

It was Shehu. He was face down. The earpiece was hanging from around his ear, fizzling. Gasping you fell to your knees, “Shehu!”

Your hands found his head & gently turned it toward yourself.

A scream erupted from your voice box. Immediately you covered your mouth, glancing around in fright.

Shehu was dead. A bloody bullet hole situated at his temple. 

Tears escaped your eyes as you it dawned on you the reality you found yourself in.

“Gracie…” Shooting up, you raced through the trees back to the villa. You didn’t care who may be waiting for you to get into shot. You needed to get to Gracie & get her out. 

Pumping your legs, you skipped over roots & loose rocks until you breached the perimeter back onto the driveway. Speeding across the gravel, you slammed into the front door & punched in the door code.

“Gracie!” You shouted, racing forward to the kitchen, “Wanda!”

Unaware of the situation, Wanda, who stood in the kitchen, turned to you in shock, a hand on her chest—Gracie nowhere in sight, “What?! What is it?”

“Where’s Gracie?!” You had hardly finished your question when suddenly the kitchen filled with loud, sharp pops.

You fell to the floor, covering your head as gunfire from an unknown source & direction penetrated the air. All around you glass shattered & vases holding flowers exploded.

“Wanda!” You shouted, hoping she was down like you, “Wanda, where’s Gracie?!”

“Pool!” Wanda screamed back from the other side of the island. You winced when the gunfire finally paused. 

“Gracie, Gracie.” You raised your head, eyes landing directly on the pool outside. The water was moving but you couldn’t see Gracie. 

Inhaling sharply, you shot to your feet a second time, springing the distance to the back door. The gunfire had shattered all the windows & door. You sped through the threshold, running towards the pool.

“Gracie!” Your throat burned with the blood curdling cry. 

Behind you, you heard a blast erupt & shake the house. You found yourself on your knees, covering your head again. But no gunfire came. Shouts shortly followed though & you looked over your shoulder as you saw three men come through the front door they just blew to pieces.

Turning your back, you finally spotted an unmoving figure in the water.

“Gracie!” Without thought, you threw yourself into the pool. You dived below the surface, begging, praying that she wasn’t hurt. Please please. Not her too. 

As you dived deeper to the figure though, the racing part of your heart jumped with joy as Gracie looked up at you. Gripping her arm, you pulled her to the surface. Breaching the water, you shoved her petite body to the edge of the pool.

“What’s happening?!” She cried. You didn’t have an answer. 

“We have to go.” You grabbed her face as she clung to your, tears mixing with the water already coating her skin. “We’re gonna run for the safe house, do you understand me?”

A scream erupted from the villa. Wanda. You winced & tried not to react, blocking Gracie’s  view of the house. “Now, Gracie, now!”

Heaving yourself up out of the pool, you grasped the underside of Gracie’s arms, yanking her out. Her legs wrapped around your waist, her arms tightened securely around your neck.

Just then though, a masculine shout sounded from the villa, “There!”

Whipping around on your heel, you held Gracie to your front as you ran for the well-hidden trail just off the backyard. Raj had the safe-house built before the move to Albania. You were relieved to know one was there should you ever need it, but you always hoped you’d never had to actually make a run for it.

Gracie cried into your neck as you ran as fast as you could hauling a child. A shot rang out & blew through the trunk of a tree on your left. A shriek erupted from your chest. You could feel yourself crying, forcing your legs to run faster, harder. 

“We’re almost there, we’re almost there.” You hissed, holding Gracie tightly as her body bounced against your front.

Another shot rang out, causing you to stumble. With your arms holding Gracie you were unable to catch yourself as you fell forward. Gracie & you cried out simultaneously. A sharp pain shot up your leg & you winced. Shorting a glance back at your legs, you saw that your foot got caught on a root. Your ankle howled in pain. Twisted.

“_____!” Gracie cried, grabbing your arms, “They’re coming!”

When you put slight pressure on your ankle you fell back to your knees, tears skipping down your cheeks.

“Go, Gracie!” You screamed, pushing her back, “It’s just around the bend, you know the code. Get inside, hit the call siren on the wall by the door & help will come. Go!”

“No!” She screamed back, crawling back to you. Another shot whistled above your heads. “I’m not leaving you!”

“Now, Gracie!” You turned onto your back to face behind you. You heard them before you saw them. “RUN!”

Gracie stumbled to her feet then took off, you watched as she disappeared around the brush. A heavy sigh of relief escaped you. Run, Gracie. 

“Well, well, well.” A dark chuckle resonated just before you. Slowly you turned your head to face the intruders.

There was still only three of them. The one of the left was shaped like a linebacker with a finely shaved head. He had a strong jawline. He also had a pistol pointed right at your head. 

The one on the right was the opposite. Tall, thin like a q-tip. His hair white-blonde & looked to be even younger than you. He too carried a pistol, but rather than pointing it at you, he ran past you chasing after Gracie.

“No!” You shouted, pitifully reaching out to stop him but he evaded your pathetic weak attempt easily. 

“Oh, don’t you worry, sweetheart.” The same voice from before spoke & you finally took in the man behind the words.

He was tall as well, built like what you’d expect a well-trained marine to look like. His hair was short but styled like the men you see in magazines. The only facial hair he sported was a single thick mustache. Had it been under different circumstances you might have thought him to be mildly attractive, if not interesting to look at. But as he stool before with a knowing smirk, a gun of his dangling from his fingers, you could only see a threat. Someone who wanted to cause a lot of pain.

“He won’t hurt her. She’s special.” He smiled at you. He bent at the knees to crouch before you, his eyes slowly roaming the length of you. When his eyes landed on your evidently swollen ankle, he clicked his tongue in feigned sympathy, “Well that looks painful.”

With the back of his hand, he gently smacked the bottom of your shoe. Had your ankle been feeling like normal it would have felt like nothing but the action caused you to bite your lip in pain, trying to hold back a cry.

“You shouldn’t have run.” He sighed heavily, using the muzzle end of the pistol to scratch at his hairline. His eyes met your own then & you felt your breaths come in sharp & fast.

“Please. Don’t hurt her.” You hoped your words wouldn’t matter. You hoped Gracie was already inside the safe house, waiting for help to come. 

The mysterious & volatile man met your eyes, his brows furrowing in thought, “She’ll be fine.”

He then stood to his feet & walked forward until his shadow eclipsed you. A shudder escaped your lips as you looked up at him through blurred eyes. 

“You on the other hand.” A wolffish grin appeared beneath his glaring stache, “No promises.”

He then nodded at the other man. 

Foliage crunched to your left & you whipped your head in the direction, unprepared for what may come. But before you could stop what was happening, the last thing you saw was the butt of a gun racing towards you. 

Then it was dark. 

First part to a new Lloyd Hansen mini series!

As always, please share with me what you think, thoughts, feelings, ect. I require them for health reasons >.<

That being said though, I'm excited to work on this new series. I already have an idea of where I want to go with it but I don't quite know how long it will be. Either way, we always love to read about our favorite stache' wearing sadist, don't we?

Please like, comment, reblog, drop an ask, say hello, anything..? I do seriously appreciate.

Check back soon for part two!

Thank you for reading.

oona<3

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September 2024 Diverse Reads

September 2024 Diverse Reads

•”The Fallen Fruit” by Shawntelle Madison, September 03, Amistad Press, Historical/Science Fiction/Time Travel/Cultural Heritage/African American & Black/Women/

•”Where They Last Saw Her” by Marcie R. Rendon, September 03, Bantam, Thriller/Suspense/ Mystery & Detective/Women Sleuths/Cultural Heritage/Native American & Aboriginal

•”Sky Full of Elephants” by Cebo Campbell, September 10, Simon & Schuster, Literary/Science Fiction/Apocalyptic & Post-Apocalyptic/Magical Realism/Cultural Heritage/African American & Black

•”Reservoir Bitches: Stories” by Dahlia de la Cerda,  translated by Julia Sanches & Heather Cleary, September 10, Feminist Press, Science Fiction/Apocalyptic & Post-Apocalyptic/Short Stories/Feminist/Women/World Literature/Mexico

•Rejection” by Tony Tulathimutte, September 17, William Morrow & Company, Literary/Coming of Age/Humor/Satire/Short Stories/Novel in Stories

•”Entitlement” by Rumaan Alam, September 17, Riverhead Books, Literary/Psychological/Family/Life/Social Themes

•”We Came to Welcome You” by Vincent Tirado, September 03, William Morrow & Company, Horror/Thriller/Psychological/Cultural Heritage/Diversity & Multicultural/LGBTQ 

•”Misinterpretation” by Ledia Xhoga, September 03, Tin House Books, Literary/Psychological/Women/Family Life/Marriage & Divorce/World Literature/New York/Albania  

•”Vilest Things” by Chloe Gong, September 10, S&S/Saga Press, Fantasy/Action & Adventure

Fantasy/Romantic/Asian Futurism

•”This World Is Not Yours” by Kemi Ashing-Giwa, September 10, Tor Nightfire, Horror/Science Fiction/Hard Science Fiction/Space Exploration/Alien Contact/LGBTQ 

•”Colored Television” by Danzy Senna, September 03, Riverhead Books, Literary/Family Life/Racial Identity/Cultural Heritage/African American & Black/Women

•”Songs for the Brokenhearted” by Ayelet Tsabari, September 10, Random House, Literary/Historical/Family Life/World Literature/New York/Yeman

•”The Hysterical Girls of St. Bernadette's” by 

Hanna Alkaf, September 24, Salaam Reads / Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers, YA/Thriller/Suspense/Supernatural/Dark Academia/Social Themes/Girls & Women/People & Places/Asia

•”The Beauty of Us” by Farzana Doctor, September 17, ECW Press, Contemporary/School & Education/Boarding School & Prep School/Social Themes/Girls & Women

•“We're Alone: Essays” by Edwidge Danticat, September 03, Graywolf Press. Personal Memoir/Essays/Short Essays/Essay Collection/Reportage/Ethnic Studies/Environmental Conservation & Protection/Caribbean & Latin American/Haiti

•”The Cottage Around the Corner” by D. L. Soria, September 03, Random House Worlds, Contemporary/Romance/Romantic Comedy/Fantasy

•”When Haru Was Here” by Dustin Thao, September 03, Wednesday Books, Contemporary/Romance/Social Themes/Death, Grief, Bereavement/LGBTQ

•”Adam & Evie's Matchmaking Tour” by Nora Nguyen, September 24, Avon Books, Contemporary/Romance/Romantic Comedy/Women/Cultural Heritage/Asian American/World Literature/Vietmam

•“We'll Prescribe You a Cat” by Syou Ishida, travel by E Madison Shimoda, September 03, Berkley Books, Contemporary/Family Life/Animals/World Literature/Japan

•”We Need No Wings” by Ann Dávila Cardinal, September 10, Sourcebooks Landmark, Contemporary/Magical Realism/Family Life/Death/Women/Cultural Heritage/Hispanic & Latino/World Literature/Spain