#alastor knows best 🎶

[top-shelf-tender-moved]

{{Everyone talks about how the moment Valentino catches wind that Angel has feelings for Husk, he’s gonna try and convince Angel it’s too good to be true, but I don’t see nearly enough talk about Alastor absolutely gaslighting the hell out of Husk.

No money, no status, no control over his own soul. Alastor would spew the most subtly venomous barbs to convince Husk that he has nothing to offer Angel, and the worst part is, it would work. Husk’s greatest vice was greed. As an Overlord, he lived a life of excess, and anyone in his favor would want for nothing.

It would probably take so long to relearn that real love is about so much more than what you can give people, but Al’s gonna milk that insecurity for as long as it lasts.}}

[chrolloluvr]

Adam, Mammon, Alastor and Lucifer with a insecure S/o

💋ྀིྀིAdam, Mammon, Alastor, Stolas and Lucifer w/ Insecure S/O 💋ྀིྀི

Note: Yesss i love this request!! As somebody who is insecure about quite a few things I think this is so cute <3 🥰 Also I hope you don't mind me adding Stolas <3

Female!reader, GenderNeutral!Reader for Stolas <3

Warnings: Cussing, mentions of sex

Mammon 💸:

He does not grasp the concept of insecure. Why be insecure when your with him? He chose you, right? He is extremely picky, so what is there to worry about? Why are you insecure? To him you are adorable, so who cares?

He may notice you are feeling down lately, or that you have been avoiding him, which agitates him to no end.

So at first, he will have you bottle up your insecurity, just so that he can be your big savior, and make you feel loved by him.

When you tell him exactly what you are insecure about, he audibly laughs. Well, he doesn't mean to make you upset or anything, but like, are you being serious?

He will say things like:

"Babe, what the fack? you look hot, theres no need to beat around the goddamn bush."

"What, is it your (insert insecurity)? cmon, don't be such a sour puss. You look just fine to me."

"Cmon sweets, whats on ya mind? How about we go out to the restaurant you love, yeah?"

He will go to that restaurant, even though he hates it. He just does not like seeing his little trophy upset or visibly irked. Even if there is Paparazzi around, he will hide them from you, or bribe them to leave.

His favorite insecurity on you would have to be your thighs. He loves squeezing them, jiggling them, putting his head between them, seeing them move when you walk, etc. If you have bigger ones, he thinks that one of, if not the best physical quality about you. He will spend his time ranting to you while snug in your legs about how annoying his newest stars are, or how Ozzie did this, or Fizzarolli did that-

Overall, he will make sure you dont go on with that contentious bullshit ever again. He cant have his favorite little lady upset, can he?

Adam 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪:

He is Adam, the first man, he does not ever feel insecure. he never makes mistakes.

But in reality, he has felt insecure. Especially after his two wives left him for the. same. man.

He does not notice until a while later that you are upset. He thinks you are happy all the time because of him. But he's basically your husband, so he will notice things about you, that you don't even know about yourself (same as mammon)

When you tell him you are insecure, he coddles you, and threats you like you're an infant

He will say things like:

"Your insecure? About what? You have to be lying babe, you look perfect to me."

"Relax babe, im kidding, so its your (insert insecurity)? Oh, are you joking?"

"How about... you and me do a little something something, hm?"

(He is a sex deviant, so he will always bring that up.)

He tries to make it up to you by putting on your favorite movie, and bringing you your favorite snacks. But he ends up eating most of them himself...

But anyways, his favorite insecurity is your ass. He likes squeezing it, spanking it, etc. Even if it small, he likes it and thinks its cute. He will randomly pick you up and throw you over his shoulder and just, spank it, and put you down??

So overall, he is okay at comforting you, but dont come running to him unless you dont want things to turn somehow sexual.

Alastor 🎶:

He has never felt insecure in his twisted mind.

He will notice immediately that you are upset about something. He takes action fairly quickly, by rubbing your shoulders, etc.

When you tell him you are insecure, he is very understanding. You are his dearest, so he wants to take care of you, and make you feel like an angel.

While he may not understand insecurity himself, he understands you are disarmed, and that bothers him greatly.

He will say things like:

"My love, don't fret about these regal thoughts. What are you feeling down about now?"

"Is this about your (insert insecurity)? If so, that is silly nonsense, my dear. You know I do not mind."

"How about, we take a stroll. Maybe we could stop by Rosie, she sure knows how to cheer you up, hm?"

He tries his best to make you feel better, because your feelings reflect on him. While it may not seem so on the outside, his heart tears when he sees you like this.

His favorite insecurity has to be your hip dips. He thinks they make you look very feminine and womanlike, which he likes. He likes to run his hands over them, enjoying the way his fingers sink into them.

So overall, Alastor makes you feel very loved and cared for. You will never feel discontent as long as he is in your vicinity.

Lucifer 𓆩𓆪:

He has felt insecure a lot. From being casted down into Hell, to his wife somewhat recently leaving him, (to his height), he knows what it feels like

But since meeting you, he is very attentive over you.

So he notices very quickly that you are upset.

When the time comes to tell him that you are insecure, (because he kept asking you frantically whats wrong), He is very understanding.

He will say things like:

"Seriously? You? Insecure? Well we cant have that here, now can we?"

"Its your (insert insecurity)? Its ok honey, I love you just how you are."

"Honey, how about the two of us stay home for the day, hm?"

He will stay by your side a lot more often now that you told him that. He is a very doting and worried lover like Stolas, so he wants you to feel comfortable with yourself.

His favorite insecurity of your is also your thighs. Big or small, he loves them. His favorite is when his head and cheeks are squished against them. Or when he's eating you out, and he feels the warmth smothering his face. He loves the way they move when you walk as well like Mammon.

So overall, he knows what it is like to be insecure. He wants you to feel loved, and like you are cherished by him.

Stolas 𓅪:

Feels insecure a lot like Lucifer. WIth his (ex)wife, concerning his daughter, etc.

He also will notice your changes instantly. SO he will constantly ask if something is wrong. When it comes to you being upset, he will be very combative in telling him.

So when you tell him you are insecure, he feels for you. He will hold you close, and let you lay on top of his fluffy, feathered body.

He will say things like:

"Sweetheart, what is troubling you so much? I am always by your side, you know. So if you want to talk, we can."

"Your (insert insecurity)? But they are beautiful! You don't have to worry my owlette."

"How about we watch a movie? That always seems to cheer you up."

He is very concerned about you, and just wants to make you happy. That is his duty in his mind. If he cant make the rest of his family happy, he can surely make you happy, right?

His favorite insecurity of yours is stretch marks. He likes them, and he thinks they look like cute little tiger cub stripes. He will run his slender fingers over them, making you shiver in the process. He believes they are like pieces of art, just all over your body.

So in his mind, you are perfect. He is always going to love you, insecurity through and through. You are his lover.

[vikkirosko]

I saw that your request box is open and I've been wanting to ask

can I request platonic! Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Alastor and Lucifer coming across a child fem! reader after she bumped into them and falling onto the sidewalk and start profusely apologizing for accidentally into them while looking incredibly scared and frightened just then they realized that the child had black wings and seeing that they are wearing a white dress that only angels would wear and fairly realized the reader was a fallen angel soon when taken to the hotel and ask how did she ended up in hell, the reader first looked very hesitant to explain but slowly open up about how they were casted out of heaven for not following the strict rules properly and that the higher upside expected angels to be perfect and flawless that no mistakes should be made even minor ones and child fem! reader felt incredibly pressured and anxious about the needs to be perfect that when she accidentally fall out of line for making a minor mistake, she was unfairly casted out into hell and why her once white wings turned black no longer able to fly to heaven's gates and aimlessly wondering the streets of pentagram city lost and scared not knowing what to do or where to go now as well as avoiding sinners and overlords alike

Platonic headcanons Not perfect

🌈 Charlie Morningstar x child fem!Reader 🎶

After Charlie visited Heaven, she began to look at angels differently. She understood that not all of them were sinless and just. That's why she was surprised when she came across a child, a girl dressed in a white dress similar to those worn on Heaven and you had wings, but the feathers were not white but black. You immediately started apologizing to her, but Charlie hastened to calm you down. You looked tired, so she suggested that you go with her to her hotel, where you could relax and where you would be safe

At the hotel, you were able to eat properly and calm down. It was only after that that Charlie asked you about how you ended up in Hell. At first you didn't dare to start the story, but Charlie gently took your hands and told you that you had nothing to fear and that she just wanted to help you. You got a little bolder and told her that, despite the external ideality and happiness, there were many strict rules and requirements for angels like you in Heaven. You all had to follow these rules implicitly, as if you had no will of your own. For you, such a life has been one huge source of stress and anxiety

In the end, you made a mistake. One minor mistake cost you everything. You were banished from Heaven and your wings turned black and you couldn't come back. All this time you've been wandering the streets aimlessly, trying not to attract attention to yourself. Charlie couldn't believe that you could be treated so cruelly, but she remembered her father's story. She understood that your story was the real truth

Since you had nowhere to go, Charlie suggested that you stay at the hotel. You were an angel and now you could help sinners atone for their sins. Charlie hoped that then Emily could bring you back to Heaven, because you were sent to Hell unfairly. In the meantime, Charlie could give you a new home and a life where you didn't have to try your best to make no mistakes every day

❌ Vaggie x child fem!Reader 🎀

Vaggie didn't feel happy when she lived on Heaven. A huge number of rules, many of which were far from morally fair, and, as it turned out, severe punishments for what was considered a misdemeanor. She didn't know any other angels besides Lucifer and her who ended up in Hell until she ran into you on the street. You were a little girl in a white dress, with a scared expression on your face and black wings that clearly used to be white. You were an angel, a fallen angel

You started to apologize for bumping into her, but Vaggie tried to calm you down, saying that everything was fine. She asked how you got here, but you didn't say anything, just looked down. Your embarrassment only got worse when your stomach rumbled. Vaggie suggested that you go to the hotel where she lived, telling you that you could eat and relax there. She assured me that it would be safe there, so you went to the hotel with her

It was only back at the hotel, after you were able to eat properly, that you told her that you had been expelled from Heaven for a minor mistake. Vaggie remembered what the rules were there. She saw the sadness in your eyes, and told you that she, too, was, in a sense, banished. The fact that she was an angel made you happy, because now there was a chance that you wouldn't be alone anymore

You stayed at the hotel, under the care of Vaggie. She and Charlie took care of you and helped you start a new life. For you, Vaggie has become a living example of the fact that life does not end after exile. She was sure that you would be able to find your happiness, even though you were in Hell, and she would be there to keep you safe

🕷 Angel Dust x child fem!Reader 💖

Angel did not often see children in Hell, which is why when he ran into you on the street, he was surprised. You were a girl in a white dress and, strangely, with wings. The feathers of your wings were black, although according to Charlie, the angels had white wings, and there was a scared expression on your face. You immediately started apologizing to him. You were obviously afraid, and Angel hastened to calm you down. He wasn't mad at you and didn't know how to calm you down, so he offered to treat you to something delicious. It was so that you could eat that you went to the hotel

At the hotel, you were able to calm down and eat, after which Angel asked you how you ended up in Hell. He said that you didn't look like a sinner, but rather like an angel who happened to be in Hell. When you lowered your head, he realized that he was right. At first you were silent, but then quietly, uncertainly told him that you really were an angel, but life was hard for you in Heaven. The angels had to follow a huge number of rules. You were required to be perfect and set an example for souls to strive for the light. However, it has become a huge stress for you. Your whole life was full of worries, and in the end you made a small, insignificant mistake, for which you were severely punished

You were banished from Heaven, sent to Hell. Your wings turned black, and no matter how hard you tried to get back in, you couldn't do it. You just fell painfully, unable to return home. Angel listened to your story, feeling how sorry he was for you. You were just a child who was unfairly punished, especially so severely. He also understood that it would be difficult for you to survive in Hell, so he suggested that you stay at the hotel, telling you what kind of place it was and that he himself lived here

Angel has taken on the role of someone who will look out for you. Charlie was glad that Angel was getting better, and even more so she didn't mind you staying at the hotel. Angel may not have been the perfect person, but he was real, alive, and ready to help you stop trying to adjust to the ideal that was imposed on you, too. He wanted to help you start living freely

📻 Alastor x child fem!Reader 🎙

Alastor periodically strolled through the streets of the city. Many people were afraid of him and tried not to approach him, and so when a child crashed into him, Alastor was surprised by this. That child was you. You, dressed in a white dress and with black wings on your back, started hurriedly apologizing to him without raising your head. Alastor was in no hurry to say anything. He saw what was obvious. You were an angel, maybe a fallen angel, and it could have done him some good, so he asked if you were hungry, and then took you to the hotel

You were able to eat at the hotel, and only after that Alastor, who was looking at you carefully, asked how you ended up in Hell. At that moment, you froze, lowering your head and slowly starting to speak. It was only after a few minutes that you finally told me what happened. You told me that Heaven had a huge number of rules for angels. You were required to be perfect, but it was hard for you emotionally and eventually you made a mistake. A mistake that you paid very seriously for

You were banished to Hell and your wings turned black. You couldn't go back no matter how hard you tried. All you have to do is wander the streets of the city, hiding from sinners and demons. Alastor listened to you carefully and realized that it could benefit him. He did not voice his thoughts and offered to stay with you at the hotel. He introduced you to Charlie and soon you really became one of those who lived in the hotel

Alastor saw how pleased you were to meet Charlie and find yourself in a comfortable environment. The princess helped you and learned from you about what Heaven really was. Alastor understood that when you get stronger, your strength can help him gain freedom

🍎 Lucifer Morningstar x child fem!Reader 🐍

Lucifer rarely walked around the city, but after he started living in his daughter's hotel, he began to go out into the world more. It was during one of these walks that he met you. You were the kid who bumped into him. You immediately started apologizing and Lucifer tried to calm you down at first, but then realized that you weren't a sinner or a demon. He would have recognized the white dress and wings anywhere. You were an angel, but the feathers of your wings were black, which made it clear to him that you were a fallen angel, just like him. It caused him a lot of emotions. He couldn't leave you, knowing full well how you were feeling right now

He brought you to the hotel, realizing that you had nowhere to go. So that you wouldn't worry even more, he took you away from the others to his room and already there told you who he was. Lucifer saw how surprised you were, but it seemed to really calm you down. When he asked how you ended up in Hell, you briefly fell silent, lowering your head, but then hesitantly told him that after he was thrown into Hell, the requirements for angels became very strict. You, like other angels, were required to be perfect and follow what the seraphims said. It was hard for you to be perfect. Every day, within strict limits, almost drove you crazy

Due to severe stress, it was difficult for you to follow strict rules, and eventually you made a minor mistake, for which you were so severely punished by being banished to Hell. Your wings turned black and you couldn't fly to Heaven. It seemed that if you tried to do this, at some point your wings could burst into flames, causing you unbearable pain. You didn't have a home anymore. You didn't have anyone to help you. All you could do was wander aimlessly through the streets, doing your best to hide from sinners and demons

Lucifer listened attentively to your story and by the time it ended, he was sure that you had been unfairly sent to Hell. You didn't have the power that he had, and therefore you could easily get hurt. Lucifer didn't want you, a child who was so cruelly abandoned, to get hurt. He decided to take you under his care. He knew that you could become stronger and wanted to help you. Maybe in Hell, you can be happier than you were in Heaven

[honoviadakai]

Rating Hazbin Hotel Characters based on how much I'd trust them to do a coffee run 🏨😈🎶👼

Charlie🎶🏨:

8/10

ah sweet Charlie

Dear sweet Charlotte

She would bend over backwards just to get you a cup of coffee, and that might be the main root of the problem

First of all, If 1 person asks her for coffee, everyone gets something. Everyone.

She's also gonna be a little overbearing

She means well, she really does

But if you only order something like a simple, small black coffee, be prepare to be brought a large black coffee, 2 large Frappes, a breakfast sandwich, a salad and a yogurt bowl

She's sweet but she be doing to much fr

Vaggie 🗡️🦋:

9/10

Vaggie is one of the best people in hell/the hotel you can ask to go on a coffee run for you

She's gonna go in, grab your order and get out asap

Where she loses a point is that she might accidentally get distracted by something she saw in a shop window that reminded her of Charlie

You can't even be that mad tbh cuz like...it is a cute outfit that she got for her XD

Other than the occasional distractions, she gets your order correct most of the time so shes a solid and trustworthy option

Alastor🦌📻:

-10/10

....No

Don't ask him to do any favors for you

Even an innocent coffee run might bite you in the ass later

And that's assuming he even get you what you asked in the first place!

He's either gonna bring you what asked for and be really ominous about there possibly being poison in your drink(9/10 probably poisoned it 💀)

OR

He's not bringing you anything

There is very little in between with him

He's also gonna high key judge you depending on what you order

He honestly might just get you a cup of black coffee instead of what you wanted because "It's the ✨proper✨ thing to have" 🙄

Angel Dust🕷️💕:

5/10

Listen...He means well but you can't trust him to get your order right sometimes

Hell, sometimes he'll bring you a half drunk drink cuz he just couldn't resist taking a sip 🤦🏻

He’s probably gonna forget what you asked for halfway to the café tbh

If he’s not feeling lazy he’ll call/text you and ask you to repeat your order

If he’s feeling lazy….may the odds be ever in your favor

It’s better to go with him tbh

He’ll even making it a day for the two of you

I mean who doesn’t wanna go shopping with this guy?🛍️😎

Husk🐈‍⬛🥃:

10/10

This man may be an alcoholic but he’s got job security for a reason!(Aside from, you know…Alastor 💀)

Memorizing orders is part of a bartender’s job so he’s gonna have your order memorized after you’ve said it once

He might complain but he’s out the door pretty quick for someone who just said he’d rather eat lead than go grab coffee for you XD

He also comes back quickly too

Mans does not mess around

He’s got a task to complete and he’s gonna do it asap so he can get back to the bar damn it! 😤

Efficient old kitty is efficient

Niffty🪡🐞:

2/10

…..I love this woman to death but I feel like trusting her to get you coffee is a death sentence…

If you see her preparing a coffee in the Hotel’s kitchen, go ahead and trust it, it’s probably pretty good

But sending her off to a café….

Best case scenario, she stabbed someone for their order because it was exactly what you asked for

Worse case scenario….the entire coffee goes up in flames because someone upset Nifty….

Please…for everyone’s safety….get it yourself

Sir Pentious🐍🥚:

3/10

He’s a leggless golden retriever and you know it

He’s gonna agree to get you your coffee with 1000% enthusiasm

This is gonna go down 1 of 2 ways…

Option 1: egg boys

Don’t let them go

Lord only knows when they’ll be back

They will deadass come back at 3am with a cheeseburger and 5 packs of ranch

No coffee…

Option 2: Snake boy

This option…is at least more likely to get you some coffee

Here’s the problem….

Pentious is a smart guy…sometimes…

And for some reason, he just can’t seem to remember your order

So by the time he gets to the café’s doors, your order is forgotten

And instead of maybe calling or texting you…he slithers ALLLLLLL the way back to ask you what you wanted….

Please just go with him….let him feel like he’s doing a good job

Please 🙏

[helluvaboss666999]

I have an idea for yandere lucifer, so basically, when the reader is a sinner and staying at the hotel. They stick out like the sore thumb because they don't sing, and when the other try to get her to join in, they don't sing like at all.

Well, maybe when lucifer is one of his sad moods, the reader sings him an upbeat song and includes maybe a verse about his ducks or something.

Ooo this is so cool, Lucifer x none singing reader

I decided not to make this one yandere cuz I felt like it was a really cute idea

-Oki but who TF sings randomly? Like it makes no sense to the reader

~Ofc everyone realized this quickly

~Angel pretty much leaves you alone about it,Husk is happy not to have to listen to more bs, Alastor keeps trying to get you to sing but leaves you alone eventually,Vaggie and Charlie are ALWAYS trying to get you to sing with everyone else

~Its pretty annoying but you know they mean no harm and just want you to feel included

~When Lucifer comes to visit he couldn't help but simply adore you

~You were very kind to him and made him feel loved

~He made it a point to talk to you quite a bit,and not to sing around you

~Until one visit him and Charlie got in a fight

~He sat in one of the hotels rooms, seconds away from crying when he heard you knock

~You didn't exactly know what to do when he said come in,you weren't the best at comforting people but you had to try so you did the only thing you thought might work

~"🎶I see a little rubber ducky for from the eyes,his glowing soul will riseee,his pretty beak is sure to peak your interest🎶"

~Lucifer looked at you in shock for a moment before breaking out laughing and enjoying your company

___________________________________________

Omg I'm so sorry this took so long,life's been kinda rough lately so requests will take a bit longer then usually to answer. I hope you enjoy:)

[eclaire-went-bam]

warning. this post is gonna have a lot of over-explaining simple concepts anyone can observe in the show because i'm autistic thanks

also episode 8 hazbin spoilers

ft alastor homework doodle

someone's probably already said this, but regarding "finale" from hazbin hotel i like;; didn't watch it with subs bcs the service i used just didn't have them

& for the longest time i thought alastor's "and i barely escaped being killed by a hair" was actually "...killed by a hare"

i don't know if this specific wording was intentional or it's literally just me misinterpreting it, but it did made me think about alastor's death. the whole thing is that he was the hunter, before momentarily becoming the hunted. literally.

he went from the most dangerous thing in the woods (swamp?? marsh???) to the deer that gets hunted with ease, the whole being a deer thing is a reminder of that (which obviously isn't new news or anything)

moreover almost every scene he's in seems to be a struggle for the narrative, or for control, or for at least some unspoken acknowledgment that he is The Radio Demon — he does Not enjoy not being untouchable

he refers to most by "my dear" (my deer) — he sees most as potential prey or at least much more feeble/helpless & deer-like. maybe partially why he consistently helps mimzy, for example. he may not see her as a potential victim of his but he does acknowledge a power difference, which both invokes a sense of responsibility & a sense of pride/power when reinforced

but he refers to everyone in this way while also having a preference for vension. and also cannibalising rotting deer corpses. So like.

now back to the actual line. he went into the fight with adam, not even concerning himself with bringing an angelic weapon with him (despite it being clear angels can only be killed by such). yknow, weapons & beings associated with light, while alastor's powers are based in shadows. he thought he could do it alone, and failed. this was the the breaking point of his struggle for control that he's been shown to subtly be experiencing throughout the season. perhaps when everybody forgot about the radio demon, cognisant of the fact vox was broadcasting this attack, he believed he could show hell once again who he was.

(little note i think it's a cool detail that our framing shows alastor as all-powerful, everybody knows him, he's terrifying, and he definitely is terrifying, subtle interactions with those not as involved with our narrative, such as carmilla and lucifer, shows something slightly different. alastor has taken control of the way we see the show, namely himself)

and i mean what he did do was extremely impressive, but nobody's gonna mention that. he was shown, after 7 years, being bested, while being broadcasted by vox. Like !! that's a win to the v's

jesus christ tangential ok i'm just writing off the top of my head

but what's more feeble than a deer?? a 🎶Hare🎶

often hunted

though deer are prey, they can still be dangerous. they can still be intimidating. their antler's are dangerous. their hooves are too !!! those things KILL!!!!‼️‼️‼️

rabbits and the like?? not so much

is it possible that in these moments, alastor saw adam as that hare? talks big, but ultimately unimpressive? if so, how much would it utterly irk him that the hunter was bested by a hare?

anyways thank you for coming to my most delusional ted talk where i spent only the last 10% of this post getting to the point

[micheal-w-afton]

My answers to those!

😅 Any of my old, badly written "spicy stuff". Also, any of my old fics in general.

🥺 What kind of feels? Well, I like fluff. Anything that consists a character getting attention from a good father figure, because well.. Yea.. That's with fluff, but angst has to be deep and slowly appearing. Like in "Flowers from 1970".

🤡Any random, cheezy pick-up line. Or some joke of an incorrect quote.

😈 Killing off characters and angst is very amazing. I enjoy that a lot.

✍️ Someone that get's to read my stories before they're published? No, not always. I do give spoilers tho.

🛒 I like to write in Pick-up lines, angst, a little bit of fluff + comfort.

🎢 My 4k word one. It had angst, slightly suggestive stuff, tension, comforting moments, flirting and jokes. All in one, I think.

✨️ No, I won't. It's interesting that I read my fanfics when I'm bored, updating them if needed.

💋 They're great.

🎶 Yes. I do listen to music when writing. I can't pick which one I have on repeat the most. I guess the most recent one was "Radio Play" by Silva Hound and one other guy.

🛠 I use my notes, Google, some books, Wattpad & Ao3.

⛔️ I've scrapped a few ideas. No guarantee that they won't come back. They are scrapped, so yea, no spoilers for those, unless I decide to actually write them.

🙋‍♀️ Yes, my ex best friend knows. Even my mother knows.

🍦 The 1st one to come to my mind, was the one with young Morrigan AU, where she got comfort from Squall, so he was like the better father figure, but he still had to leave. Yea. That one still floats around my mind.

🍷 Yes. I drink water.

🍆 As I mentioned, my old stuff is pretty shit. I prefer "slightly suggestive" then smut. "Crow Crow" chapter of Oneshot's book 2, was great. Also, the 4k word one.

🌞 I like writing from 9pm to 3am. Creativity and ideas go wild at that time. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen every day, and I have to go to sleep at 11pm, otherwise I'll fall asleep during the next day, and that's a problem.

💖 I started writing inspired by a guy who was stalking me and my classmates. I took the fic down. Other reason for me writing my own stuff, was because my requests on someone else writing them were never really accepted, and I wanted my ideas to be actual content.

💌 Please do. I love comments and having random conversations inspired by something I wrote.

❌️ I will never write adult character x not adult character, and probably won't write about the popular movie trope stuff. Actually, there are many more things, but I just don't know how to describe them.

💲 Money is fun, but I believe that my art or writing isn't that good to be payed for. Plus, my friend's would be confused about why I get random money. One last thing: Money can take away my inspiration. I prefer to just take free requests.

🧐 I research only a little bit. Mainly writing on my own knowledge.

🏆My most popular writing themes (Not fics, just themes, because... idk.), are fluff, comfort and world building.

🎃 Yes. I've written some for Hallowmas. Also, I plan on writing something for Summer solstice.

🎯 I've inspired by comments before. Some of them have guessed plot points.

🎨 Yes! I love that! Even tho I mostly create my own fanart for my fanfics.

📈 I have 2 Nevermoor oneshot's books that will stay up. There's also "The one who betrayed".

🦅What does that mean?

👀 Well, original character, Morrigan, inspired by real life story. Low chance of ever being finished. Also, summer solstice in a few months.

🤗 Go for it. Someone will enjoy it.

💞 Silas (Graveyard Book), Ezra Squall & Jupiter North (Nevermoor), Stolas (Helluva Boss), Wilbur Soot, Kenny & Butters (South Park).

🧠 Ezra Squall 🖤

🤩 Ezra Squall and Henry Mildmay. Squall gives me Alastor vibes, but Mildmay gives me Angeldust vibes.

🤲 it has been sitting in my started drawings for like a week, because in trying to understand how to finish it.

😬 The torture one and anything with gay stuff in it.

🎉 Success = At least 2 people voting, maybe commenting.

✅️ Ezra Squall. And some repeating words. Repeating words in sentences and paragraphs. I always worry about completely repeating the same scenario.

📚 That would meant that I'm talking the same path as my grandmother. A lot of pressure.. Yes, book writing would be interesting. I prefer fanfics tho. Or fandom mixups. 🤫🤔

⏳️ At least an hour, sometimes even 2 days to fully think it out. Questions

🤯 I struggle with writing with more than 5 characters in action. Probably a lot of more stuff.

💔 anything with angst, because most of my angst is inspired by thing's I've experienced.

💥 Criticism can be harsh, but sometimes helpful.

🤭 Of course, the character's used in the fic, and a small spoiler for what will be in it, like angst, fluff or slightly suggestive.

🥰 I'm very open to people interacting with my content. Questions are always welcome, no guarantee that I'll have a smart answer.

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

🍷 Do you drink and write?

🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

💖 What made you start writing?

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

🏆 What's your most popular fic?

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

📈 How many fics do you have?

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

💞 Who's your comfort character?

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

[radicheart-a]

🎶Happy birthday..my dear Looove~

Happy birthday..to youuu 🎶

[ She appears behind him, lowering down to kiss his cheek and give him a gentle nuzzle, a cake for him in on hand and a book wrapped in a colorful paper that she's "hiding" his head.

The book? A collection of the best dad jokes from both the human world and the Dragon kingdom!

So that he can tell dad jokes even to dragons who don't speak human ]

Alastor hums happily and returns the affectionate nuzzle before accepting the book first, curious to know what it's contents are. Seeing the cover has him chuckling happily. "Dad jokes, hmm? Are you trying to tell me something, dear?"

Is he joking? Who knows.

[voxiiferous]

🎶 (if you’re up for it, of course! <: hope you’re liking the new blog!)

@a-hazbin-spider

@a-hazbin-spider

Send "🎶" and I'll put my playlist on shuffle and write a starter based on the song.

Forest Fires - Lauren Aquilina

I don't have much to say There's nothing in this name Sorry to disappoint again Nobody pines for the listener A thrill I fail to deliver

And whilst I watch in silence You're starting forest fires You start them just to feel the heat

--

It's one of those things that Vox knows: in order to stay relevant, you have to adapt. Alastor might be content to remain tucked up with his radio, spurning modernity, but Vox refuses to surrender any of the power he's managed to collect over the decades.

But even he can feel it starting to take a toll. The boredom creeps in-- another game show, another commercial, another knock-off V themed version of something from the living world. What's another cereal that he can't eat? Another app? It's all the same nowadays. His performances are growing increasingly cardboard, and his sales, and his ratings, are going down with it.

He's borrowed Angel from Valentino to shoot the commercial. Sex sells, whether it's porn or Voot Floops, special edition, and Angel is the best in the game. Everyone will want to buy them because Angel's endorsing them.

Vox looks away from the scene for a moment to look at the camera, laughing slightly at the advertisement. There's not a lot of ways to make cereal sexy, but he has to admire the tenacity of the attempt.

"Cut!" He calls, pushing himself to stand, rather than lean against the walls as he makes his way across the set to Angel. "Well sweetheart, I think you're entering a new era of your career, really I do. Who wants porn nowadays, " he says, picking up the closest box of them and giving it a shake. "Clearly you're meant to be the face of all the brands in Hell."

[dontasktheradiodemon]

A Trip to the Palace

Alastor/Astor (hi 👋) visits Alastor/King (@akillingspreeinwhite) for a friendly little hangout: Astor does a couple musical numbers for King, and King in turn gives him a tour of his royal palace. :)

It's the most traumatic experience Astor's had in over half a century.

(This is what you might call An Important Thread which Will Have Plot Consequences.)

King

👑  My dear other! What say you to coming over for that tour, eh? I think it's long since time we officially met in person, don't you?

Astor

🎶 It certainly is—and I think I owe you a song or two, too, don't I!

King

👑  I believe you do! When would you be free for such a visit, my good man?

Astor

🎶 Oh, any time after rehearsal in the next few days—you let me know when would work best for you!

King

👑 How does tomorrow sound? I'm sure I can have this palace tidied up in time, haha!

Astor

🎶 Tomorrow it is! Just let me know where you'd like me to open the door—I'd hate to, say, teleport into your bathtub!

King

👑 The courtyard will be perfect-- it's pretty much got a beacon on it anyway!

Astor

🎶 Then the courtyard it is! I'll see you there, your majesty!

King

👑 Excellent! See you then. :)

Astor

Alastor spent the night before his visit in the princess's hotel rather than the airship and showered there before rehearsal, paranoid about how much his unnervingly powerful alternate would be able to *sense* on him of his current living situation but unsure what he could do about it except try to wash off the scent of his home. He sent brief notices to the allies he'd brought into his budding conspiracy against the king so they'd know where he was if he disappeared; and then, after work, he teleported over.

For all his intentions to be on his guard, the moment he stepped into King's universe, Astor froze. He'd known he would be going into a universe where radio was the preferred technology of the king—as opposed to, as most other Hells saw it, the carrier wave of a deadly monster—and so he was expecting more signals. And yet, he'd never expected as many as *this.* It overpowered even the sounds of radio signals bouncing through New York City at night; the air was saturated with radio signals, so thick he could almost smell them in the air like a perfume. Momentarily forgetting who he was supposed to look for, he stood still, head tipped up, eyes wide, ears twitching, like a deer entirely focused on listening.

King

The palace courtyard was alight with yellow light of the old style bulbs set into the lamps that stood around the perimeter. King had picked this spot for Astor to hop in for a reason-- it would give him quite the view of the sky, and the city below.

The sky, as it was, was similar to what Astor would know of his own and others save two key differences-- a veritable flock of airships of various kinds drifting their ways across the sky, and the moon that was Heaven. That moon....was no more. A mere crescent of white sat where normally would be the eternally full shape of Heaven. Even from this far off, the scarred charring was visible against that pristine white surface.

The city on the other hand, spread far-- farther than any other Pentagram City, and the skyline was awash in neon and spotlights, architecture mixing New Orleans, New York, and Las Vegas into an amalgam of sin and glamour. The sound of it didn't reach this high up-- unless, like the King, one could parse the waves of radio that hung like a thick fog in the air, invisible but omnipresent.

Spotlights flicked to life on either side of the stairs that lead up to the front door of the palace-- a mix of a New Orelean mansion and a Greek temple, with pillars and art nouveau flairs all over-- and they focused on said doorway. Trumpets sounded-- a jazzy flair-- and two doormen opened it, King himself stepping through. His grin wide, his back straight, his overly large micstaff in the crook of his elbow, he trotted down the steps, a dancer's grace making it look easy despite the massive set of antlers on his head.

"Welcome, welcome, my dear other! May I present my palace!" He moved quickly over to Astor, inclining his head towards him-- a King did not bow to others, after all. "Easy trip I presume?"

Astor

For a moment, he was too lost in the sounds to process the sights; but once he did register the sight... His attention was so transfixed darting from airship to airship that he missed the missing moon completely until his gaze had skimmed over it no less than three times; but then, he couldn't look away from the moon. Gone? Heaven, *Heaven* was gone? His alternate's work? Or the disruption that had allowed his alternate to ascend in the first place? The city didn't much interest him—what was one Sin City compared to another?—but the sky held him. What of God? What of Ma? What about those airships—what of Sir Pentious? Where was Sir Pentious?

But he immediately turned when the spotlights flicked on, smile as perfectly unreadable as always. He took in the architectural style, the doormen's faces, the choice of music, the antlers—quietly passed his judgments, and locked them inside.

"And what a palace it is, my goodness! I thought you might have just moved into Lucifer's, but no!" A king did not bow, but then generally an American didn't bow to a king either—his nationality wasn't a facet of his identity Astor generally put all that much stock into, but it was kind of hard not to right after he'd come from rehearsing a musical about the Revolutionary War—so the half-bow Astor offered was more of a theatrical flourish than it was a *real* bow. A gesture of respect, but not a gesture of deference. "Easy as can be! Almost no traffic!"

King

"Excellent, excellent!" King laughed, moving to stand beside Astor. He gestured with his staff towards the stairs and the doorway within. "Right this way, I had my people set up some refreshments in one of the sitting rooms-- I hope it's to your liking! Unless you're not done out here in the courtyard, I know the sights can be in_tox_ icating!"

He laughed again, not actually giving Astor any more time to ponder as he started with a brisk step towards the stairs-- obviously, he was used to people going along with _his_ whims and not the other way around.

"I figured that you could get your bearings inside, enjoy the refreshments, and then perform? And then after, we can do the tour!"

Astor

"Quite hospitable of you!" Astor immediately trotted along, only just hanging back enough to let King take the lead. He wasn't going to stand around and gawk while King watched, anyway; he was here to spy, and part of that meant giving away as little as possible in return. That included not revealing to King what parts of his kingdom caught Astor's eye. There was nothing to stop King from visiting as many other universes as he wanted to see how they differed, but that didn't mean Astor had to show off which differences *mattered.* He'd slipped up when he arrived. He didn't intend to do it again. "I'd feel embarrassed about not bringing something to contribute to the refreshments, but my goodness, what *does* one bring to a *palace*? I'm afraid my mother's etiquette lessons never covered that one."

King

"Oh yes, completely understandable! It's certainly difficult to think on what one would bring that isn't already there, at said palace!" He laughed once more, tap shoes clicking on the hardwood floor as he leaded Astor to the sitting room. Sure enough, there were refreshments-- finger sandwiches with various meats and a pot of coffee for them.

"Please, have a seat! It's so good to finally meet you in person, Alastor! I've been looking forward to it for a good while now!"

Astor

He took a seat, decided after only a second's contemplation that the odds were low that there were any sort of fairy food or Persephone's pomegranate rules attached to these finger sandwiches (and even lower that he wouldn't be able to counter them), and plucked up one. "And a pleasure to finally meet *you!* It's not often one runs into an alternate with such a large crown." He glanced pointedly up at his alternate's antlers—haha, he's funny.

King

King laughed, then took a sandwich for himself. He popped it into his mouth wholesale and just...swallowed. Didn't even chew, how about that.

"Oh yes, certainly!! I've yet to see another us that has quite the rack that I do!" Another laugh. "Perhaps it's simply a side effect of being king!"

Astor

Did he. Did he taste it? Does he actually enjoy his food?

"Or maybe a side effect of getting to decide the width of your domicile's door frames." He briefly allowed his own antlers to stretch out to the same size as King's, and reached up to flick one of them with a finger like he was lightly chastising a child for being a pest. "The bane of shower curtains and chandeliers—and try driving a car without a convertible roof! Ha!" His antlers shrank back down. "I consider them like those miniature toothpaste tubes they make for travelers' convenience."

King

"Hah! Yes, just so, just so. I had everything in the city scaled to my size and girth so I hardly notice it! But you're quite right." He poured himself a cup of coffee and then one for Astor.

"Do you take anything with it?"

Astor

"No, black." He held out a hand for his cup. "As do you, I expect?"

King

"Indeed!" He handed the cup to his other and sat back, taking a sip. "Mm, nothing like fresh coffee from the living world! Hell coffee just doesn't have the same flavor."

King took another sip and his smile widened. "So, how do you like things so far? You hear the frequencies, I assume? It's something, isn't it?"

Astor

Well, at least there still *was* a living world. After seeing what was left of Heaven, Astor wouldn't have been surprised if there wasn't. "It certainly is. Music and chatter from every angle! Quite a garden you've cultivated here. I'm assuming no small part of that must be from regulations requiring signals be broadcast rather than quietly shuffled around via cables and wires?"

King

"Yes! I wanted everything out there in the air, where I can hear it! It's so much better that way-- I can just sift through the frequencies if I get bored! It's a good way to keep my entertained." The implication being that it was definitely a bad thing when he was NOT entertained.

"Makes it easier to hear any rumblings of discontent, as well." He winked.

Astor

"Oh, who wants to listen to people *complain* about you? I deal with enough of that and I'm not even a politician!" He laughed. "Unless you have reason to be concerned about said rumblings? I imagine any ambitious sorts would consider a recently-crowned usurper to be fair game, but as to whether they actually pose a legitimate threat—! Well, I've only just got here. I don't know what they can do versus what you can do, now do I?" He said with an inviting look, in case his alternate should wish to elaborate on any current political threats.

King

"Oh, there's generally no real threats to my power-- sometimes an overlord will get a big head and think they can take me on, only to be obliterated in an instant!" He shook his head, the sound of a tiny violin playing briefly.

"So sad that they're so unbearably stupid!"

Astor

"Maybe you ought to let some of them build their ranks a bit longer. Kick them to the curb rather than crush them completely. See if any of them get to the point where it takes you an hour to obliterate them instead of a second!" A wink.

"Who *are* the major players in your brave new world, here—if you've bothered to learn any of their names! Not that I could name many of them in my *own,* but, I'm curious about the butterfly effect between universes. How a little tweak here or there produces wildly different results. I wonder if there are any big names in common." (Most particularly, he wonders about those airships outside—but he's not about to say so.)

King

"Well, let's see if I can remember-- they squabble an awful lot you see, it can get so hard to remember who's who this decade!" He tapped a clawed finger against his lip, humming a soft tune.

"Well, there's Valentino-- he's in charge of a lot of the sex scene! And Velvet's all over the fashion industry! There's a lovely lady named Madame in charge of a lot of the saloons...." He shrugged. "That's all off the top of my head! You'd probably have to ask some of my staff for more, they keep better tabs than I do!"

Astor

"I'm more or less familiar with all those names—although I've never heard Velvet associated with *fashion.* Primarily baked goods and potions." And the nebulous thing called "social media," but he was pretty sure that meant "famous for being famous," so that didn't count. "Ever heard of a fellow called Vox? Television for a head, likes to buy up fresh technologies and act like he made them. In most other universes, Valentino and Velvet keep him around to exploit his industry connections."

King

"Vox?" For the first time, King looked utterly befuddled-- until the mention of a tv for a head. His brows shot up and he laughed. "Oh, do you mean William? No, he's nothing. Though that IS curious! So he's a big deal in your universe is he? What kind of name is Vox?"

Astor

"I have no idea! And I couldn't tell you what his name was before, never thought it worth digging up. But I've seen multiple television heads around, I suppose this William of yours could as easily be one of them as not?" He shrugged. "At any rate, if Vox was being *Vox,* you'd probably have heard about it. He's loud and he also likes broadcast media—albeit only for how many ads it can sell."

King

"I'm sure I could find a picture of this 'Vox' and see if it's him, one moment--" His eyes went to static-- not like Astor's own red static but a glaring white static-- and then a moment he was back again. "Yes, that's him! Blue, filled with electricity, but my, my, isn't yours a cocky son of a gun!"

King laughed. "Mine's much more....withdrawn." His smile turned smarmy.

Astor

"*Good.*" No mercy. "What changed, did Valentino break him?"

A split second after he said it, he regretted that specific word choice and the way it evoked cracked screens; he knew *just* enough about those two's dynamic to feel... not *sympathy* for Vox, but at least like it would be unforgivably gauche of Alastor to make fun of him for it. But, well, too late to take it back, better to act like he hadn't second guessed the word choice at all.

King

"Oh no, I doubt Valentino even knows he exists! In fact, I'd be startled that YOU knew he existed, save for the fact that he's a big shot!" He laughed and shrugged. "He's not....anything big here! At all! I made sure of it!"

Astor

"Oh, good! I suppose you've probably set up a separate ring specifically for sinners of *his* particularly vile ilk. You know—network execs." Sips at his coffee.

King

"I think the city takes care of them well enough-- there's no networks here! No sir, not a one! I don't allow any of that silliness." He chuckled, taking a sip of his own coffee. He set aside the cup and sat back.

"So, are you ready to perform for me?"

Astor

"And good riddance to *that!*"

No mention of the maker of those airships. Astor tried not to let his hopes sink. He scarfed down a couple more finger sandwiches and hopped to his feet. "Whenever you are! Do you have a place for me, or is Lafayette going to be dancing on your refreshment table?"

King

King smiled amicably and raised both his hands-- and with a double snap of his fingers, the entire room changed. No more table or refreshments. All furniture save for the chair King himself sat in-- now more of a throne-- gone, giving Astor a nice open area to preform in.

"There you go, my dear other."

Astor

"Then we'll save dancing on the tabletops for the next time I go bar hopping, hah!"

He'd already decided just how much magic was safe to use in his little performance. He didn't want to look like he was holding back, but he didn't want to do anything that would encourage the king to think his abilities were *interesting.* So only a quick costume change; the background music and other characters' lines weren't played live, but out of the original Broadway recording; and several of his enthralled shadows were called in to perform the other characters' choreography; and nothing fancier than that.

Anyway, he wasn't here to impress his alternate with special effects. He was here to show off his singing and dancing. He performed two songs for King, his standout numbers: "Guns and Ships" for Lafayette, and "What'd I Miss?" for Jefferson.

King

King watched, eager and attentive, Astor's audience of one. Once the final notes of What Did I Miss? rang out, King was on his feet clapping-- and a veritable army of shades behind him were as well. There had to be hundreds at least, maybe into the thousands, the crowd extending into an infinite darkness behind him. All gave Astor a standing ovation.

"Brava, brava! That was quite the show, my good man! Very nice! I was entranced the whole time!" The shades behind him quickly vanished, like a wave receding, but not before Astor might be able to discern a couple familiar shapes-- well, one of those looked like Rosie, didn't it? And another, was that Kyxs, his alternate's apprentice? My, my, what were the stories there....

Astor

He dismissed his shadows—it wasn't like *they'd* done the work—before bowing extravagantly to his clapping audience. "A preview of ovations to come, one hopes!"

He caught sight of what looked like Rosie, but no other familiar shapes. *That* hurt his heart to see. But no, it probably wasn't Rosie, was it? Only humans could be reduced shadow, and Rosie had never been that. Surely *that* didn't vary between universes?

But he didn't ask and his expression didn't waver. "I hope this means I've earned my tour!"

King

"You certainly have!" Another double snapping of his fingers, and the room was put to rights. King chuckled slightly, hands clasping behind his back as he started to move.

"I think we should start in a room that every good palace has-- the throne room! Right this way!" He stepped from the room and started down the main hall again. It opened to a large domed room, with marble floors and pillars, white with veins of red and gold. In the center of the room was a dais with King's throne-- a chair _just_ ornate enough to be called such, but not opulent enough to be ostentatious.

And then the dome itself-- not stone, not wood, but panels of multicolored glass, some large as a sofa and others small as a handspan made up the thing. Light from outside filtered down spraying the room in colors-- reds, purples, golden yellows, and pure whites. It spiraled around, a pattern but not of anything in particular.

"So, what do you think?"

Astor

"I think it's quite kaleidoscopic!" His neck was craned to look up at the dome. (And in the back of his mind, he was comparing the space to a throne room he'd fantasized about half a century ago, one full of colors and frescoes. Even with the red and gold threaded through it, he always thought white marble looked cold and sterile—like a tile floor in a hospital kitchen.) "How *does* a new king of Hell have his palace decorated, by the by? Magic or manual labor?"

King

"A bit of both-- architects to design, magic to help with the more difficult pieces, like that." He gestured to the dome.

Outside, a boom sounded as one of the airships fired upon a building, the sound shaking the palace, if only slightly.

"Oh, looks like they found something to shoot at! I wonder what it was--" He laughed and shrugged. "I'm sure I'll be informed later."

Astor

His heart leaped. "What was *that* all about?" The airships had come up, he could ask about them now safely, couldn't he? If the airships were active, perhaps that meant Sir Pentious was still active—but no, wouldn't his alternate have mentioned him with the other active overlords? But who else could be running those airships? Perhaps Sir Pentious wasn't an important enough player to mention—but how *couldn't* he be if he had a fleet like that?

Mildly, he asked, "Skirmish over some turf?"

King

"No, no, probably just saw someone doing something annoying enough to earn a blast." He shook his head, his smile turning rueful.

"I'll need to have a talk with those Eggs! At least, if I found out they're blasting around without a good reason!"

Astor

His heart leaped again. "What, are the eggs *your* security force? In my universe they have loyalties elsewhere." He laughed shortly. "They're hardly who *I'd* pick for my Air Force, but."

King

"They're just about the only ones who know how to run those damned things! They're capable enough, but I might need to bring the captains in for a bit of a refresher!" He chuckled and shrugged.

"Ah, well, Eggs will be Eggs! Come along, there's more to see!" He started down another hall that joined to the throne room-- it seemed that acted like a hub of sorts-- and wound his way to another impressively large room, with an impressively large table in it. One it was a model of the Rings in three dimensions-- a map and display all at once.

"This is my meeting-slash-war room! I usually talk with my advisors in here."

Astor

*What about their inventor?* Where was he? Exterminated? Executed? Maybe—Alastor tried to tell himself not to hope—maybe *here*, somewhere, perhaps commander of the airships—Alastor couldn't imagine him being content that close to the throne without sitting on it, but... He was dying to ask—but the last thing he wanted was to sound too interested. He swallowed down the questions and a dozen more, and followed King.

It was hard to get excited over a 3D map when his mind was still on the airships, but he tried to look duly impressed anyway. "Is war still much of a problem?" he asked. "Your 'advisors'?"

King

"Not too much, but we planned every stage of the War on Heaven from this very room!" He nodded, and smirked, looking ever so smug and proud of himself.

"And yes, advisors! It's awful hard running a whole sprawling kingdom like Hell without people to rely on! There's Husker, who's in charge of the treasury. Mimzy keeps me appraised on all things happening in the social scenes, Oleander is my tech expert and keeps everything up to date with current trends, for the most part-- he's the reason I was able to get online!"

He paused and shrugged his shoulders a bit. "Well, him and Pentious-- but I generally have Sir working on bigger and grander things than what Oleander handles. His genius would be wasted doing the menial work, after all!"

Astor

He only barely managed not to scoff at the phrase *War on Heaven*, but he couldn't quite suppress the wry curl to his smile. "Oh, is *that* what happened to the moon?" As much as the idea of destroying Heaven made him deeply uncomfortable, it also struck him as just as pointless. Never mind the how—*why?*

His skepticism of this whole endeavor mounted as his alternate listed his advisors. Really? Mimzy, he could marginally see, she'd no doubt love that kind of public position, and he had no idea who Oleander was, but Husk? *Husk?* Really? An advisor? Alastor would hardly trust Husk to advise him on mixing cocktails.

But his disbelief was immediately banished by a far more important name. *Pentious.* Alastor managed to keep his shuddering intake of breath silent—no mean feat for the Radio Demon—not even a whisper of static. "Oh, is he around! I would have thought he'd be giving his eggs orders."

He was *here.* He was part of the ruling regime. Maybe he'd decided he was content as royal weapons engineer—or maybe he was still planning a hostile takeover—or maybe he was the power behind the throne, letting King and his charisma serve as the face of Hell's leadership—but what mattered was that he was here. He was here, and King called him *Pentious* and *genius*, and airships were everywhere, and at least in this *one* universe he was thriving. Astor's heart soared. Perhaps this was a glimpse of the kind of future he could hope for.

King

"I bring them in every now and then when I need him to make sure they're doing what they're told, but most of the time the Eggs take orders from me!" He laughed.

"And yes, he's still around! I couldn't have gotten the throne without him! Nor would the assaults on Heaven gone as smoothly as they did-- he's so creative when it comes to weaponry after all!" King's expression turned softer, downright gooey by Alastor standards, as he spoke. Enthusiastically, he continued.

"It was me, Sir, and Rosie against all of Hell at the start! We three banded together and made a pact to take down Lucifer and succeeded! Quite handily, I might add. Only seventeen years after I landed in Hell, and then I was sitting on the throne! It was all quite marvelous."

Astor

The corners of Astor's smile threatened to turn gooey as well. This *was* a glimpse of their future, their potential, what they could do together. A Hell covered in airships and radio waves. Even Heaven crushed before their combined might.

"Is he *ever* creative!" Astor laughed. "Oh, in my neck of the woods, Rosie's never been interested in conquering anything—but believe you me, I have *certainly* seen Sir Pentious at work." He wanted to say just *how much* he'd seen, how highly he valued it all—but even now, he reminded himself, he *had* to remain wary. The fact that *this* Alastor might be the first truly kindred spirit of all the alternates Astor had ever spoken to didn't mean he could let his guard down. King was still a potential threat.

"And here I was under the impression I was speaking to *the* conqueror of Hell! If it was a joint effort, I certainly hope I can say hello to him before I go home? If he's not too busy, mind!"

Strange that Sir Pentious wasn't the one calling himself king; but Astor supposed he must have decided inventing to his heart's content was more satisfying than sitting on the throne. It made sense, Astor could see him enjoying conquering but not ruling, and of the two of them Alastor would make the more charismatic figurehead. Maybe that was why the palace was so much more classical than what Astor would have picked and what he imagined an alternate would have picked; maybe that was why everything was white, a compromise third choice they'd settled on so they didn't have to argue over how much of the place would be garishly red versus depressingly black, with those streaks of red and gold to represent them both. (Astor wondered if perhaps they, too, had a yellow kitchen.)

King

"I certainly helped spearhead and kickstart our major pushes, but I figured teaming up with people who already wanted to bring down Lucifer would be a good move on my part! I'm never one to turn down help, especially extremely competent help!" He laughed once more.

King's expression took a turn for the inscrutable as Astor asked to meet Sir Pentious. He hummed softly, clawed fingers coming up to stroke at his chin in consideration.

"Well, _normally_, I don't allow many to visit dear Sir! He's generally far to busy to entertain! But considering what a special occasion this is..." He hummed again, louder this time.

"Why not! Sure, at the end of the tour, I'll take you to see him! I'm sure he'll have questions for you too-- he's been ever so curious about the whole multiverse business, anywho!!"

With a sweeping motion, he strode back to the door way, gesturing for Astor to follow to continue the tour.

Astor

So this alternate himself had wanted to take down Lucifer, he hadn't just been swept up in someone else's ambitions. Strange, so very strange. And Astor was reminded again to be wary of King.

But *dear Sir*, oh, the affection in those words. Astor was on cloud nine. "I'd be quite obliged, if it's not too much of an inconvenience for either of you!"

He swept along after King, far more eager now to see the rest.

King

The rest was mostly more of the same-- more rooms of various sizes and various uses. The only real standouts would be the library-- full of all manner of magical tomes-- and, of course, the kitchen. Large and gorgeous and filled with appliances galore, it put five star restaurants to shame.

King moved through all the locals with efficiency, now as excited as his guest to get to the end. He led Astor down a new hallway, into what appeared to be his own personal wing.

They stopped beside a set of double doors, and King knocked softly-- something he hadn't done anywhere else.

"Oh, Sir, dear? I've brought a guest to see you! A delightful chap, if I do say so myself! Are you decent?" He called. King's hand lifted and a key appeared between his fingers. He pressed it into the lock before getting an answer, the door unlocking with a click.

"What?! Oh yes, fine, I _suppose_, if you MUST." A familiar voice called from beyond the door-- but the tone was off, a bit of static like Alastor's voice normally had.

King swung the door open and pushed through. "Sir, darling, I'd love for you to meet-- me!"

King moved further into the room, letting Astor finally get a glimpse of this universe's Sir Pentious.

Astor

Astor skimmed book titles and examined appliances as quickly as he could as they passed through, throwing out the compliments of an appreciative guest while trying to give away as little as possible about his own (primarily magical) capabilities. All the while thinking of his own modest new den and newly-renovated kitchen on Telly's airship, wondering what they could add on when they'd expanded past a single ship.

His heart hammered in his chest as they approached what clearly seemed to be personal quarters. *Dear, darling,* such familiar beautiful words. He clasped his hands behind his back, the perfect picture of calm and collected, but it was a fight not to start bouncing on the balls of his feet like a child.

The door opened.

His heart stopped, his breath caught, his smile was paralyzed on his face, and his eyes widened in horror.

King

King swept to the side of the tank that held Sir Pentious.

Or, rather, what was left of him.

A cylindrical tank held only a pair of red-pink eyes and brain, connected with various wiring to the base and top of the tank. Set into the black base was a speaker, and sat on a table next to him was a large printer.

"Sir, may I introduce you to a me from an alternate universe! Alastor, my good man, this is Sir Pentious! Royal Engineer and Security Specialist."

The floating eyes turned to focus on Astor, horribly keen and aware. "_Good evening, Alastor, it's a pleasure._" The voice, very much still Sir Pentious's, held the tinny and static-covered quality that Astor's and King's had-- he was speaking through a tiny radio.

Astor

Astor's knees nearly gave out. His coffee and sandwiches burned like battery acid in his throat as he fought to keep them down. Not this. Anything but this.

He shut his eyes tight. He could still see those star ruby red eyes burned into his eyelids. He was going to rip out his alternate's throat with his teeth.

He opened his eyes, shook his head, and laughed lightly. "Oh, pardon me, terribly rude of me to stare—I was expecting a few more eyes! Hah!" He was a professional fucking actor and today he proved it. He bowed to Sir Pentious. "And a pleasure to meet you, too! Quite an impressive fleet you have out there, I'm not sure I've seen a universe with one as large!" He maintained eye contact to keep his gaze away from all the empty space where Sir Pentious should have been but wasn't.

King

"It's fine, I know it can be...." Sir's eyes flicked to King briefly. "A bit shocking for those unprepared."

King's smile stated static, and his eyes narrowed only a fraction, gauging Astor's reaction, though his own was inscrutable.

"The other eyes are....around," Sir continued. "And the fleet is indeed impressive, I made sure of it." If a floating brain could seem smug, Sir definitely was.

"Isn't he charming, dear me?" King leaned his arm against the lid of Sir's tank, and then leaned his cheek against his hand. "And so smart! That printer over there prints out blueprints! He comes up with so many interesting things! Isn't that right, Sir?"

"Yes, your Majesty," Sir answered. His focus turned back to Astor, the floating eyes' pupils shifting. "So, tell me, what's your Hell like? Do you rule like his Majesty?"

Astor

"It certainly can! *Somebody* wanted to make sure I was surprised." He turned to give his alternate a wry, arched-brow look, as if to chide him for the surprise. (He knew full damn well that he would be watched, be judged. He couldn't do anything if it turned out his alternate's abilities included mind reading; but anything short of that, and Alastor intended to make sure his alternate wouldn't pick up a single damn thing.)

"Well, isn't that convenient!" He inspected the printer, grateful for the excuse to turn away from the horror in the tank. "Every genius's greatest wish: a machine that transfers their ideas straight from their mind to the page, no need to write it down!"

He fought not to wince as he turned back around and met Sir Pentious's gaze again. "I'm not a king, but I play a president on stage!" He laughed. "No, no, we're still ruled by Lucifer. Most Hells are. I have no interest in politics—why, you couldn't appoint me to city council without me changing my name and bolting for the next ring down."

King

"No ambition to rule? Interesting. Quite the opposite of dear King here." Sir's eyes turned to look up at King. "Seems you're the outlier, your Majesty, just like I hypothisized."

"Yes, indeed, Sir, it seems you're right once again! Looks like I owe you a new airship." King laughed. The banter came so easily to them both-- even in this state, Sir had lost none of his wit.

"If it's not too much trouble," Sir started, "would you tell me what your own Sir Pentious is like? I've been curious about my own other selves. King gets to have all the fun talking with the lot of them but he's told me a few things. I'd rather hear it first hand, though-- first hand sources _are_ the most reliable, after all."

Astor

Somehow, it was worse that Sir Pentious still sounded like himself. It made the difference so much more jarring between what Alastor heard, and how much was *missing* from what Alastor saw. "It's quite curious, really! Of course, every alternate is an outlier in at least one way—just using myself as an example, I can't think of any other alternates actually pursuing a full-time stage career—but I can't think of any others whose one little difference has so radically changed Hell around them! Most of us are far more mundane in our variations."

The thought of this alternate talking to other Sir Pentiouses... Alastor's stomach twisted. He didn't want his alternate knowing a single damn thing about his own universe's Sir Pentious, but God, this poor trapped creature had to be starved for knowledge of the outside world, if all he got came filtered through a captor who kept him literally locked in his room. "Here's the trouble with talking about alternates: how do you tell somebody what's different before you know enough about them to rule out what's the same? For starters, though... Well, he's a good deal taller than you," a wink, "but, in your favor, his fleet's much smaller. He was a top overlord until he took a tumble, oh, some fifty-odd years back; and ever since then the overlords that filled his power vacuum have taken it in turns to kick him while he's down. Too scared of him to give him a fair chance."

King

"Yes, I'd heard something about that-- that most others had fallen and were having trouble getting themselves back up. I suppose none of the others had their own well..." The eyes shifted between Astor and King. "_Yous_ to help them along. I know that without the both of us, and Rosie for back up, there would've been no way for us to do what we did."

At the mention of Rosie, Sir's eyes seemed to droop a little. "Too bad about her, pity she couldn't be more...loyal." The tone of his voice varied there, a slight warble and a quick flick of the eyes to King, who simply stood there, watching and smiling down at them both.

Astor

What did Alastor say to that? How did he bring up the pattern he was now seeing repeating over and over—versions of himself who'd called versions of Sir Pentious friend, fought alongside him, built him up, only to decide to cut him down? How did he explain that this Radio Demon wasn't the only one who could call a man "darling" and then mercilessly cut him down to size? It wasn't the absence of an Alastor that held a Sir Pentious back—it was the presence of one.

But how did he explain that in a way that wouldn't turn *this* Sir Pentious against him? And wouldn't tip his alternate off to his revulsion? And wouldn't make his alternate curious to get to know more versions of Sir Pentious?

Luckily, another topic had just come up—he could hold off from figuring that one out immediately. "I've been meaning to ask about her, actually. See, in my universe, her ambitions never spread beyond her neighborhood. I've been wondering why she threw in with your little triumvirate. And how she fell out of it." He glanced at his alternate. "Although I could have sworn I caught a glimpse of her during my routine."

King

King glanced between Sir and Astor, and then gave a dramatic sigh. "It's a long story I'm afraid! Quite tragic, really--"

"She came to Alastor and I after we did our first few hits on demon royalty, and wanted to get in on it. We agreed, but once King had the throne, she tried to betray him and take it for her own. King didn't allow that, obviously," Sir said, cutting King off. King crossed his arms, petulantly huffing.

"You took the fun out of it, Sir! Where's the flash!"

Sir, somehow, rolled his eyes. "There's nothing flashy about a knife in the back." Sir's eyes lingered on King, giving him a hard look, until King turned and strode toward a wall, pacing a bit.

"Maybe to you! But her betrayal was quite dramatic to ME!"

"Tough," Sir said.

Astor

It felt like Alastor's stomach rolled along with Sir Pentious's eyes. That was horrible to look at.

He noted all those hard looks and dark glances, and stored his thoughts about them in the back of his mind. "Strange. She's never seemed the type for such petty backstabbing. But then she's never seemed the type to go for the throne, either. Maybe just another little variation between universes." He laughed. "Maybe this whole universe is more ambitious than all the others, wouldn't that be something? Sooner or later you'll have Egg Bois trying to overthrow an overlord."

King

"Ha! As if an Overlord could take down one of my Eggs captaining the airships." A sound akin to a snort came through the little radio at Sir's base.

"Now, back to the other mes--"

"Oh, would you look at the time!" King announced, earning another glare from Sir. "It's getting late, about time for you to rest, don't you think, Sir?"

Sir continued to glare, eyes locked with King's until he finally relented, lowering his gaze. "Yes, your Majesty, you're right. I've had a long day today..."

"Indeed you have!" King turned towards Astor. "Come along, Astor. Let's leave him be now." He gestured toward the door.

Astor

Inmate visiting hours were over, apparently. Alastor could have decked his alternate for cutting Sir Pentious off like that.

But he simply nodded to his alternate. "Of course, of course! I'd hate to overstay my welcome. Pleasure to meet you, Sir Pentious." He clasped his hands lightly behind his back as he turned toward the door.

King

"And you, Alastor." Sir's eyes turned away as King ushered Astor out. He summoned the key again, locking the door behind him.

"How about a drink, dear self? I think I'm in the mood for a nightcap, what about you?"

Astor

"Oh, why not! Is it going to cost me another song?" He laughed.

And then, when they were a safe distance from the door, asked quietly, "Now, forgive me for prying, but I'm simply dying all over again to know—did one of your mutual enemies catch up to him? Or did you just decide you didn't need the rest of him?"

King

King laughed as well, leading Astor to another sitting room-- a different one from where he'd performed.

"Mostly the second! That and it was far too dangerous to leave him as he was! You see, he'd wanted the throne, and well, couldn't have that! But I also couldn't lose that mind of his-- so I preserved that and got rid of the rest!"

Astor

"You know, when you said you were working with him, I'd *wondered* how you'd compromised on the throne." And the answer had been devastating. You wouldn't know that to look at his wry smirk, though. "I should have guessed. I can't stand compromise, either."

King

"Oh indeed! I'm rather all or nothing myself-- as one can see by the state of Heaven." He summoned up a bottle of bourbon and two glasses.

"Do you take it neat or on the rocks?"

Astor

"On the rocks, if you please." It wasn't his habit, but his "habit" was "suicidally raging alcoholism." He certainly wasn't about to drink like that in his alternate's presence. "I'd wondered about that! Particularly, about what's holding this universe together now."

King

King poured two glasses on the rocks, sliding one to Astor. "Oh, I think it's me, now!" He laughed.

Astor

"You *think*?" A raised eyebrow and a surprised laugh. "That's quite a thing to not know for sure!"

King

"Well, God himself wasn't up there, so who knows!" He laughed and shook his head.

Astor

His eyebrows raised higher. "Oh, really! Missing in action! What a pity." He tisked. "I've wondered how God tastes and I'd kind of hoped you'd know! I have to imagine the real deal is better than those sad crackers I used to get on Sundays.

King

"I was wondering much the same! I was understandably disappointed about him being absent as well-- but would you like to know what angels taste like?" He grinned wider and winked.

Astor

His eyes widen. Now this sounds like a forbidden fruit if he's ever heard of one. Don't eat it, Persephone.

Unfortunately, as his murder streak would attest to, he's pretty bad with temptation. "You know, I *would.*"

King

"Well..." King said conspiratorially before launching into a detailed description of the taste of angels.

Astor

And Alastor leaned in to listen, transfixed and fascinated.

Meanwhile, elsewhere, another meeting was taking place.

Shortly after the Alastors had left, Astor's shadow had slid back into the room. Alert to every radio signal that crossed through the room, feeling for any trace of magic, it cautiously slid across the floor.

And then slowly raised up in front of Sir Pentious's jar.

Typically, the shadow wore a mirror of Alastor's smile. Not now. Its face was contorted with all the anguish Alastor hadn't let himself show, its glowing eyes filled with grief as it met Sir Pentious's gaze.

It touched the glass with one insubstantial hand.

King

Sir stared up at the shadow, its face a mask shaped like Tragedy. His speaker let out a little crackle that almost sounded like a huff.

"You're the other one's shadow, aren't you? You don't seem like _his_. I know that one all too well." Sir inspected it, up and down. "Mm, yes, you're certainly not his. Can you speak?"

Astor

As an extension of Alastor, it could summon up music and recordings, but it wouldn't risk that so close to the monarch's listening ears. But Alastor was creative.

A black cloud formed in the air, and in front of it floating red letters, like a real life word bubble: "*In a sense.*" And then, "*Is it safe for you to talk? He won't hear?*"

King

"No, he keeps the door locked with that magical key. He doesn't expect anyone to be able to open it, so he doesn't bother guarding it more than that. I _am_ stuck in the heart of the palace after all. The radio I speak through he _can_ hear technically, but signals are too thick for him to pick out this weak little one, especially if he's distracted."

Sir's stare turned curious. "What is it you want?"

Astor

Alastor would just have to keep him distracted, then, wouldn't he? Fortunately, he was a terrific conversationalist.

"*To help you,*" the shadow said automatically; then shook its head. "*I don't know if I can, but it's what I want. But first to talk without him listening.*"

King

Sir eyed him warily. "Help? From an Alastor? And you think I'd accept, after what was done to me?"

Astor

It shook its head again. "*I think you'd be crazy to. But I can't stand seeing you like this and you need help and I'm the one who can offer it.*"

King

"It's a good thing that I'm desperate as well as crazy then." Sir laughed, the sound nothing near the regular Pentious cackles that Astor was used to.

"What do you want to know?"

Astor

That sound was painful to hear. The shadow hand pressed harder to the glass.

"*How much contact do you get with anyone else? Anything else? Anything at all?*"

King

"Eggs, sometimes, when they get too rowdy and King needs me to reel them back in. Otherwise it's generally just King or his tech advisor, Oleander, whom I have contact. No one else is allowed in here by themselves, they're all escorted by King."

Astor

"*Is that how he commands the eggs? By keeping their boss hostage?*"

King

"Hardly. They follow his orders because that's all they know now. Most of them are newer generation Eggs that never even saw me when I was....whole." He paused and looked away. "The ones he brings to see me are only the captains-- they're usually older, and a few knew me as I was. But they all follow him now."

Astor

"*I'm so sorry.*" For a moment, that's all it can think of to say. "*How long?*"

King

Sir looked back at the shadow, silent for a long moment before he whispered. "Seventy years."

Astor

"*God*"

"*how do you*"

"*how have you*"

The aborted messages fall apart in lines and squiggles. The shadow's fingers silently curl against the glass.

"*You should have the throne. You earned it as much as he did.*"

King

"He promised to help me kill Lucifer. I assumed that meant that I'd be on the throne. I was a fool. I didn't see, even after what he did to Rosie..." He sighed, glancing away.

"Now, I couldn't give a shit about the throne. I just want out..."

Astor

"*Dealmakers can lie without ever saying an untrue word. I know. It's how we collect victims.*" The words were matter-of-fact enough, but the shadow's expression wasn't, continuously twisting in pain and sympathy. Alastor didn't care about all the people he hurt, no—but he cared about this one. "*Was he telling the truth about Rosie? Or is that just the story he prefers the sound of?*"

King

"It's a half truth-- she did betray him, but only after she saw what he'd done to me. And now her shade is enslaved to him, as surely as the rest." He sighed again.

"I'm not the only prisoner, either. There's William, too. King keeps him lower down."

Astor

"*That sounds more like Rosie.*" His own Rosie didn't like Sir Pentious one bit, but he was sure that would be different if he'd been someone she'd fought alongside for over a decade.

"*To be honest, I don't care about him. I've met his alternate. He's annoying. But if you want him out, I'll keep it in mind.*" His sympathy is very selective. "*Why does my alternate keep him here?*"

King

"He can't consume him. He needs there to be a brain to be able to gain anything from consuming other demons or angels. William doesn't have a brain, hence..." The eyes somehow conveyed a shrug.

"I've never met the man myself, but if it's between me and him, I pick me."

Astor

To gain anything. The shadow draws back slightly. "*What does he usually gain? And what does he want from Vox that makes him worth keeping despite the effort?*" He seemed like a pretty worthless specimen to Alastor.

"*If you'd picked him, I would have lied and picked you anyway.*"

King

"Generally, raw magical power, either infernal or divine, depending on whether it's a demon or angel. If they have specialized powers, though, he gains some of that. William has specialized powers that King couldn't replicate or steal, and so he keeps him contained and uses him instead."

Astor

"*So that's how he's gotten so strong. Interesting ability.*" The shadow's face twisted into a grimace. "*What does he have that's so enviable, though? Zipping around through power lines? So what, he can teleport.*"

King

"No, it's the electricity. William is tied to Hell's electricity and King wants to keep that control under his thumb. Just another way he keeps his hold on Hell."

Astor

"*He could do the same thing by putting Hell's main power facilities in the palace. Vox thinks he's far more important than he's ever been—it's his poor fortune if he convinced my alternate of that.*" Zero sympathy.

King

"I'm sure William doesn't think of himself as important. And what's easier, moving all that machinery or simply controlling one person?" Sir sighed.

"It's neither here nor there, really. He can't eat William, and so he keeps him. He wanted to keep my mind, so he kept that-- and ate the rest. Did he show you the tuxedo he made from my skin? He *does* like to show it off now and then."

Astor

The shadow's chest expanded in a silent sharp inhale. "*No. He didn't. But I can imagine. In my universe, one of your alternate's enemies caught him and turned his skin into a vest.*" His glowing eyes were burning. "*So I destroyed her.*"

King

Sir stared at the shadow for another long moment, as if weighing something in his mind.

"You loved him, didn't you? Your Pentious. King loved me-- I think that's the real reason he didn't destroy me utterly, no matter what he says about keeping me solely for my inventions."

He quieted again. "Did you hurt yours? Or are you still with him?"

Astor

The shadow nodded twice—to *you loved him* and *you hurt yours*. "*In universe after universe, you and I get close, and then I destroy you and your ambitions for stupid, petty reasons. I've regretted it every second since, and that's what makes me an outlier amongst my alternates.*"

For the first time, the shadow smiled. "*One from another universe loves me now. I'm the luckiest sinner any Hell has ever seen.*" But the smile soon withered. "*The way my alternate talked about you, I hoped this universe might be the same. Until I saw you.*"

King

"It was, once-- when we were conquering together. But his ambition outweighed his love, and if the roles had been reversed, I might've done the same. But it's in the past now. I just want out..."

Astor

"*I'll do my best. I can't promise. There are others I have to keep safe.*" He raised his hand, as if to cup Sir Pentious's absent face. "*But I'll try.*"

King

"That's all I could ever ask." Sir looked down.

Astor

The shadow was still a moment, then leaned forward to quietly press its forehead against the glass container. "*You wanted to know more about your other selves when we left. What do you want to know?*" It was a small comfort, but for now it was all he could offer.

King

"How are they doing? I know I'm a low bar but...I hope better than me."

Astor

"*Most are like mine. They used to be successful overlords, but then they were knocked down and are trying to climb back up. I'm helping one to rebuild, and I think another I know is giving up. A few are still successful—they hold a fleet and all the land and resources needed to maintain it. I haven't met any yet in a position to conquer Hell, but I think they will someday.*"

King

"That's good to hear. The one you're helping, that's the one you're with, yes?"

Astor

The shadow nodded. "*Nobody knows we're allies yet. But I'd do anything for him.*" (Without Alastor's noticing, the handwriting in the floating word bubble had changed slightly—the punctuation and the dots on the i's replaced with little floating hearts.)

King

Sir eyed those hearts. Oh boy. "I can see that."

He sighed again. "So, how are you going to help without getting the wrath of the King on you?"

Astor

"*I don't know yet. I have to find a way to sneak you out without his knowing who took you, and then find somewhere safe for you to stay while you recover. I'll have to talk to my allies first.*" The shadow looked over the tank. "*How does he keep you from regenerating your body?*"

King

"By keeping me in this confined space. This solution also prevents excess growth." The eyes looked at the base.

"The tank itself is detachable. For when King wants to....hold me."

Astor

"*Vile*"

"*How dare he*"

"*After what*"

Red lines slashed through the words, scratching them out; they disappeared and Alastor started over. "*So to regrow you, all we'd have to do is open the tank and switch to a different solution.*"

King

"It would be best to stick me into a much larger tank with a saline solution, to allow me to reform with the best chances of not....getting screwed up."

Astor

"*We can get an inflatable pool if we have to. As long as I'm not having to undo any magic, that part should be easy enough.*"

King

"No, there's no magic keeping me like this. It's much easier to just restrict space."

Astor

"*That's one less thing to worry about.*" The shadow eyed the lid on the tank, as if contemplating ripping it off right now; no, there'd be no hiding who had taken Sir Pentious if Alastor did it now. "*What about his other abilities? I'm guessing he's not telepathic or clairvoyant, if you're not worried about him discovering our plans before I come back. But what should I know about?"

King

"He has both infernal and divine power. A lot of _raw_ power and not a lot of finesse. He's less capable than he believes, and relies too heavily on his radio abilities."

Astor

"*More of a hammer than a scalpel. So don't do any conspiring on air and he won't know about it. A couple of my allies say they think he stalked them invisibly, is that one of his tricks?*"

King

"Not invisibly, but he can mask his presence and is very good at shapshifting. He's not completely unskilled in most things but he's far from perfect. There are ways to spot him, especially with your powers."

Astor

"*One of those allies had my abilities too, and didn't notice anything—but he didn't know to look at the time. Any particular tells we should watch for?*"

King

"There's a feeling to his block. It's not an absence, but an actual blocking, it's.....cold and electric, as far as I know, from what I've heard."

Astor

"*Cold and electric.*" A slow nod. "*What else should we be alert for?*"

King

"His glamours all are still tall." Sir paused, thinking.

"Perhaps you should take one of my eyes with you when you go-- it would be a good way to get in contact."

Astor

"*He mentioned he still had your other eyes. Is he keeping them as trophies somewhere? It might be too risky to steal one. If he notices, he'll know exactly who took it.*" A pause. "*You can still see through them?*"

King

"Yes, I can, and they're not his trophies, they're plastered as....well, security cameras of sorts. They're unhackable and go directly to me, so what better to use, right? There should be one in the city somewhere you can snatch."

Astor

Alastor remembered, so many years ago, asking his own Sir Pentious how many of the mechanical eyes in his machines really worked, and being told *all of them.* "*Yes. I could do that. Can you still move them? To roll or blink or something? As long as they can move at all, we can find a way to communicate with them.*"

King

"Most of them are set in housings, just take the whole housing and it'll keep it steady so I can move it around."

Astor

"*And you can direct me to one he'd never notice is missing? Maybe ones he doesn't know about?*"

King

"Yes, there are a quite a number that he doesn't know of. Some right outside this very palace."

Astor

"*Give me directions to some. I'll take one with me.*"

King

"There's one just outside the gates, on the corner of a building across the way, second story. That should be easy enough to snag."

Astor

"*That close? And you're sure he's never seen it?*"

King

"I'm sure. He doesn't want them close to the palace and if he knew of that one, he would've had it destroyed."

Astor

"*He wants you to keep an eye on his kingdom, but he doesn't want you to know what's happening in the palace right around you, is that it?*"

King

"Yes, that's about it." Another sigh. "If you go into the building, you should be able to reach it from one of the second story windows. The building is empty, no one likes being that close to the palace."

Astor

"*Okay. I'll take it along with me.*" A pause. "*Is there anywhere you'd like to see?*"

King

"Not in particular. Anywhere that's not _this_ Hell."

Astor

"*I can manage that. Will you be able to hear, or can your eyes only see?*" Look he didn't *think* eyeballs ought to be able to hear, but there was magic involved, it never hurt to check.

King

"No, just see, but I've become very good at reading lips." He gave a little chuckle.

Astor

"*I can imagine. But I won't force you to do that. I didn't see my first sound film until I was almost thirty, I know how much easier intertitles make it to follow the plot.*"

King

"HA! I was already in Hell when I saw my first talkie. Anyway, you should get back, there's not much else to go over now."

Sir paused. "...Thank you. For even offering. It's more than I've had in.....a long time."

Astor

"I was running out of excuses to keep talking, anyway.*" A silent sigh. "*I wish I could do more now. I hope I can soon. You don't deserve this. You don't deserve this.*" The shadow pressed both hands and its forehead to the tank, as if it wanted to reach through and wrap a comforting arm around a body that wasn't there. It could, if it decided to. What was a tank to a shadow? If light can pass through glass, then shadows can be cast through it as well.

But that would probably terrify him. To be reached for, without warning, straight through the only shield and shelter he'd had for longer than a lifetime. Alastor wouldn't do that to him. This was to help Sir Pentious, not to gratify himself.

King

"I will...look forward to your return then." He made noise through the speaker like clearing a throat. "Go on then. I've been here seventy years, a little more time won't hurt any."

Astor

"*Soon.*" With that promise, the dark cloud dissipated, and Alastor's shadow melted away as easily as if it had only been an illusion.

King

Meanwhile, back with King, he stood, smiling, from his seat. "Well, that was quite the conversation! And quite the visit! I do hope to have you over again, my good man!"

Astor

"My goodness, wasn't it! You're going to send me home hungry for a half dozen things I'll never get to taste." He shook his head ruefully. "Yes, indeed! You'll have to tell me more of your exploits sometime—I'm afraid before long you'll be offering *me* more entertainment than I ever could you!" Somewhere in the back of his mind, he distantly registered his shadow leaving Sir Pentious's room; but it was a subconscious thought, like recalling something one had done a week ago, or catching a scent that put one on one's guard without remembering which enemy used to wear it. It didn't dim his smile or shake his concentration as his shadow dissipated and reappeared outside to find a misplaced eyeball. "We'll have to arrange something soon! But I won't impose on your hospitality any longer, I'm sure by now you must have some sort of kingly business to attend to."

King

"Oh yes," King said, pulling a pocket watch out of thin air. "I have a few things on the agenda that need doing! We'll see each other again soon!"

He inclined his head again. "I'm sure I don't need to show you the way out!" He laughed.

Astor

"Hah! No, I can see my own way out." He stood, offered a slight incline of his head just short of a full bow, opened a portal out, and stepped back into it. "Until next time!" The portal closed.

Outside, his shadow, clutching its prize in both hands, vanished.

King

"Until next time!" King called back. As the portal closed, he hummed and began to walk down the hall. What a nice visit that had been!

Astor

What a horrible visit that had been.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Lucifer: I think I'll get us some more wood for the fire, okay?

Adam: Yeah okay.

Adam watched as Lucifer got up to get some more wood, he was so handsome and nice. It seemed like he also....

Alastor: Finally, I thought he would never fucking leave.

Adam jumped and turned to see Father Al standing there behind him with his ever present grin on his face. Oh no!

Adam: Father? How did you-?

Alastor came closer and he smiled wider at the fear in Adams eyes. Good, at least he had enough sense to be afraid.

Alastor: Oh it was very easy, I just followed the smell of betrayal.

Adam: Father.....

Alastor: We are going home now mister, you are in a heep of trouble.

Adam: But I met someone-

Alastor: Yes the wanted criminal, I'm so proud.

Adam: Father wait! I.... I think he likes me.

Alastor: Ha! Adam this whole romance you invented in your head only proves you're too naive to have left that tower.

Alastor: 🎶Father-🎶

Adam: No!

Alastor blinked, oh so he grew a little back bone now has he? Well that won't do.

Alastor: No? Oh I see how it is. Adam knows best, he's so mature and grown up now. You think that thief would stick around if you gave him everything? The crown? Your innocence?

Alastor threw the satchel with the crown in it at Adam. Adam caught it surprised.

Adam: W-what?

Alastor: Trust me, the second you give him anything he will leave faster than you met him. If he's such a dream boat, put him to the test.

Adam: I will! You'll see, he's a good man!

Alastor smirked: We will won't we?

He disappeared and Adam blinked, where did he? It doesn't matter he's gone now.

Father Al was wrong about Lucifer. He had to be.

Lucifer: So, am I going to get super strength in my hand now because that would be ..... Hey, you okay?

Adam hid the satchel: Yeah, just tired I guess.

(Tangled AU)

*once a long time ago in beautiful kingdom called Eden, a drop of sunlight fell to the Earth and a golden flower bloomed there, a man named Alastor found the flower and used it to gain power and youth by singing to it*

Alastor: 🎶 Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine. Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine, what once was mine. 🎶

*the flower glowed and age melted from Alastor leaving a young looking man with a creepy smile, Alastor did that for many years, hiding the flower from anyone else, but then Sera the current Queen of Eden found herself pregnant not long after she found out her husband died in battle, the pregnancy and deep despair caused Sera to fall very sick and the kingdom to moon for something to help her, one night Alastor didn’t hide the flower well enough and the guards found the flower and had Sera drink a potion made from the flower which made her regain her health and she eventually gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with very long golden hair the same color as the flower and she named the baby Adam as his father, but what was truly beautiful why Adam was his golden eyes that rivaled the golden hair, Eden celebrated by releasing glowing lanterns into the sky*

Sera: My little Starlight, I love you.

*Sera put Adam in the crib and went to bed, Alastor who was already looking older snuck into the room, he grabbed some of the hair*

Alastor: 🎶 Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine. Make the clock reserve, bring back what once was mine, what once was mine. 🎶

*the hair glowed and Alastor became young again, the power was in the Prince’s hair, Alastor pulled out a knife and cut off a little bit of the hair, but it turned the color of milk chocolate and was useless*

Alastor: I guess, I will take the baby with me, I hate babies.

*Sera went to check on Adam when she saw a man in a cloak holding Adam in his arms*

Sera: Adam, my Starlight, give me back my baby.

*Alastor jumped out of window with Adam as Sera cried for the guards, Alastor locked Adam tower, but every year on Adam’s birthday the kingdom would release lanterns into the sky hoping that the Prince would them and find his way home*

Adam yawned and stretched as he got out of bed. He had so much to do today before Al got home.

He cooked, he cleaned until the place was spotless. Adam watered the plants, got some food for Lute his pet chameleon.

Adam: So, chores are all done! What do you want to do today?

Lute only blinked and shrugged.

Adam: Well you're no fun. Oh! We can bake, Al loves pie. Maybe that will put him in a good mood? Oh and painting, knitting, what about a puppet show? Oh don't let me forget to make dinner for tonight, Al was upset last time.....

Adam did everything like he always does to fill the time of his day. And when there was really nothing else to do.

He brushed his hair. That was a chore in and of itself.

He started painting the walls some more, Al didn't care since he was only really here at night now. He would travel all day going to places far and wide.

Adam hoped that one day they could go together.

One thing Adam wanted more than anything for his 19th birthday was to see the glowing lights that appeared every year on his birthday. He could see them from his window. The only decent window in the tower.

Adam was in the middle of cooking dinner when he heard Al call for him.

Alastor: Adam! Let down your hair!

Adam: Coming!

Adam ran to the window and wrapped his hair around a hook and threw down the rest for Al to climb up.

Alastor: Oh, I don't know how you do that day in and day out. It looks exhausting.

Adam: Hehe, it's nothing.

Alastor: Then I don't know why it takes so long. Ha! You should see your face, lighten up Addie.

Addie. That meant Al was in a good mood. Okay good. Maybe Adam could work up the nerve to ask him.

Maybe tomorrow.

Adam: How was your trip?

Alastor: Long and exhausting.

Adam: Oh, well dinner should be ready soon.

Alastor: Go check, then you can sing to me.

Adam: Okay.

-

The next day just as Alastor was leaving for the day again, a thief had just stolen the crown that belonged to the long lost prince.

[concubuck]

((And concerning the asks about Mimzy and Rosie, since most of y’all don’t follow my normal Alastor blog—

Allow me to point out that over there, this is how he talks about them:

1.

Anonymous asked: Alastor why don’t you have any friends?

🎶 “I think most of my friends would be rather insulted to hear you think they’re nonexistent. Why, I’m a little insulted on their behalf!”

🎶 “Speaking of, if I may take this opportunity to put in a good word on behalf of a couple of them—let me make a little advertisement for Rosie’s Emporium—recently under reduced management, but certainly not reduced quality!—and Mimzy’s bar—the finest drinking establishment in Pentagram City!”

2.

58. Description of my best friend

🎶 “Dear me, I have two close friends and either one could eviscerate me for choosing the other. I think I’ll choose the one I’m more sure uses the computer—just in case this gets back to her.”

🎶 “Behind door number one we have Mimzy, a beautiful blonde babe and a boozehound’s best buddy—as well as Hollywood’s one and only original Merry Murderess! Most of you probably recognize her name and face even if you’ve never seen one of her movies; to this day she’s still a famous pop culture figure topside. A true timeless beauty! Why, at least once a week some newly-dead sinner will makes a pilgrimage to her bar to meet her in person! Rumor has it she’s even talked an angel into sparing her soul by bribing it with an autographed picture—whether or not it’s true isn’t my place to tell.”

🎶 “We gossiped about each other for years from across the country—me on my station in New Orleans, she to the papers in Hollywood—but we only met for the first time in Hell! And she’s been one of my most reliable duet partners ever since! Such a pity she was arrested before talkies got rolling, she would have been a natural in musicals.”

3.

How do you know Rosie, as in, how did you two meet? What did you think of her then compared to now?

🎶 “We met not long after my arrival in Hell—she greeted me. She likes to meet newly arrived sinners, see if there’s any way she can help them out during the frightful transition to life in damnation… and have them over for dinner. Initially, of course, I expected there was some sort of catch, some hidden deal in exchange for her assistance—but no, I learned quickly enough that when she offers no-strings-attached charity, she’s the real deal! Rosie is as close to a saint as you’ll find in Hell! Why, she’ll move the moon and stars for a friend—and she’ll count near about anyone a friend who shares her dietary preferences.”

Because u need to know, the one-line responses aren’t me being a boring writer. It’s a deliberate thing.))

[honoviadakai]

Rating the Hazbin crew based on how well they’ll take care of you when you’re sick 🤒

Charlie🎶🏨:

8/10

So letting Charlie know you’re sick might actually be a bigger health concern for her than it is for you

She’s gonna act like you’re dying

She legitimately might make Razzle and Dazzle plan for a funeral

You are now gonna be on house arrest

No

Scratch that

You’re on bed arrest!

No getting up under any circumstances! 😤

She’s wait on you hand and foot till you’re 1000% better

She’s gonna be overbearing but in her defense, she REALLY doesn’t want you to suffer/die so please just bare with her

She just wants you to recover asap ;3;

Vaggie🗡️🦋:

7/10

Ok so on one hand…her chicken soup is pretty good

On the other hand…she’s a very “tough love” kinda gal to anyone who isn’t named Charlie Morningstar

It dose not help that she’s canonically Latina…

All my fellow Latinos know, if you get sick…you get the vaporub

And that is probably something Vaggie still firmly believes in

“Just rub some raporub on your chest and nose and walk it off, you’ll be good in no time!”

Said every Latino parent in history….

She’s probably never had to take care of many sick people in her human life, let alone her afterlife in hell

Cut her a bit of slack and just use the vaporub, she’s trying damn it!

Alastor🦌📻:

-12/10

N O

WHY WOULD YOU EVER COME TO THIS MAN FOR MEDICAL HELP!?!

Do you have a death wish or something!?

Best case scenario, he’ll help you but your soul is gonna be on the line for a while!

Worst case scenario, he’s just gonna let you suffer

And I don’t mean that he’s just gonna leave you to sleep in your room

No no no, that too boring

He’s gonna make sure no one else in the hotel knows of your predicament and he’s gonna watch you struggle and laugh at your misery…

For the love of all that is good in the universe…don’t let him know you’re sick…ever.

Angel Dust🕷️💕:

6/10

Ok

Listen…he’s not the worst option….but you do have better options

The problem asking Angel to help you when you’re sick is that you’re sick…

You’re gross…he doesn’t want not on his fluff

But if y’all are very close…

Like besties or lovers? That changes the game

He’ll cuddle you, no questions asked

So it really depends on who you are to him how much effort he’s gonna put in

He’s also kinda forgetful

For example, if you ask him for a cup of tea, he’ll absolutely go brew a cup for you

But you better pray that nothing and no one distracts him!

Cuz otherwise just forget about having hot tea or tea in general…

He’s pretty shit at remembering to take medication at certain times too so I’d set multiple reminders

Even then…might not help much…

He is a pretty good cook though so rest assured, you will be very well fed during your recovery period

Husk🐈‍⬛🥃:

10/10

Will this crusty old man complain about having to help you? Yes.

Will he bitch and moan every time you ask him for another cup of tea? Absolutely.

Will he curse under his breath while holding your hair back as you puke your brains out for the 10th time in the past 24 hours? Without question.

But he’s still fucking helping you

He can say whatever the hell he wants, he’s waiting on you hand and foot till you’re better of his own volition

He’s out here making some of the best damn soup you’ve ever had he’s gonna make sure you finish every last spoonful god damn it!

If you gotta take medication on a schedule, best believe he’s setting multiple timers

You’re also taking all the naps you need, no arguments! 😤

If you ask, he will cuddle you, but he will make you swear on your mother’s grave that you won’t tell a soul he did that for you

He’d rather chop his arms off than admit this, but he is genuinely worried for you and just wants you to recover

You did not hear that from me though 🤐

Niffty🪡🐞:

5/10

Oh she makes some of the best soup! 🥣

Her home cooked meals are delicious

Honestly the best part of having Niffty taking care of you is just how well fed you’re gonna be 🥰

But this is Nifty we’re talking about…

So she’s gonna be….Nifty….

She’s gonna hover uncomfortably close to the bed while you rest…

Just…watching you…

She’s not even trying to be creepy or anything

She’s just making sure you’re ok

But like…she’s starting a little too intensely at you…not blinking even once…

She’s just waiting to see if you want tea or something tbh

She just forgot you’re supposed to blink

She’ll also just watch you sleep

Not sure why…she just does

If she’s feeling ✨spicy✨…she miiight give you some questionable medicine…

Like, medicine she found in Alastor’s room….

Please get an actual doctor 🙏

Sir Pentious🐍🥚:

2/10

No

Just…no

Get an actual doctor

Please!

He means well

He really does!

But this man died in the Victorian era!

Don’t let a man with medical knowledge form the Victorian era help you!

He will use leeches on you!

And that’s the best case scenario for you!

And for the love of all that is good in the world, do NOT let the egg boys help!

They all share a brain cell between them and I don’t think any of them is ever fully away of where it is at any given moment

They’re likely to take one look at you and think the best way to reduce your fever is to stick you in an ice bath…for hours….

Go to an actual doctor if you wanna keep your ability to breathe. Please.🙏

[honoviadakai]

What you favorite Hazbin hotel song says about you 😈🎶😇

(This list includes songs from the pilot as well as a few others that are not official but are near and dear to the fandom's collective heart)

I’m always chasing rainbows 🌈:

…so how’s your relationship with your parents?

You have a good heart but you’re way too hard on yourself

You don’t always have to be busting your ass off, taking breaks is not a crime

Also failing is not the end of the world

I believe in you, please be kinder to yourself

Inside of every demon is a rainbow 🌈 😈:

Golden retriever energy

You are so sweet but so naive

I honestly feel like if this is your fav song, I could spit in your meal and you'd just smile and get a new plate

It's ok to go apeshit

If you did ever get mad I genuinely feel like you'd be absolutely terrifying

But you're such a sweet person, i can't imagine someone pushing you to that point

Inside of every demon is a lost cause/Alastor's reprise 🎶👿:

You're a cynical bastard and you wear that shit like a badge of honor

You're on the same page as Alastor in terms of redemption being impossible/pointless

If this song is your favorite, you laugh at children when they fall over

very loudly

You're the one in your friend group that everyone has to warn about before introducing you to new people

You receive the bombastic side eye so often you smile every time it happens

ADDICT🕸️🚬:

You need a hug

All of the hugs

You're doing your best and I just want you to know I'm proud of you

Vox's Interlude📺🎶:

You like Dubstep

You like Dubstep to a concerning degree

You're also disappointed Vox doesn't have the same voice effect in cannon that he has in the song

You're a Vox simp, but you're really chill about it

Royal Flush🥃♥️♠️♦️♣️:

Hello my fellow Pansexuals and Husk Fans~

If this if your favorite song, you're a Mick Lauer fan and you were sad to hear he wasn't coming back to the official series and it made you even more jaded than you already were(I feel you)

You're also a fan of Johnathan Young and Rock music

You lowkey giggle every time you hear the "every hole is a goal" line

You probably have a sever resting bitch face that scares ppl sometimes, but deep down you're a softy

A jaded softy, but a softy

Radio Play📻🎶:

Hello Alastor fans that lament the recasting of Edward Bosco

Hello Black Gyrph0n fans that think he's not receiving enough recognition

How deep in the financial debt hole are you because of your love of Alastor and new found desire to have a retro 30's aesthetic once this song dropped?

You have good taste in music but I feel like you'd say out of pocket shit on accident

You probably know how to do the Charleston pretty well and that's pretty cool

Redemption arc🙏🎶:

Hello my depressed gifted child burnouts and Elise Lovelock fans

You're a girlboss, you really are, but I need you to take more breaks and drink more water

You strike me as someone who takes the phrase "act your wage" as a suggestion at best

If over thinking was an Olympic sport, you'd win gold, silver ans bronze

stop trying to carrying other people's baggage on top of your own, that's not building character, its building more work for your therapist

Assuming you've even allowed yourself to see one!

Insane🦌🔪:

You're unhinged

like Niffty levels unhinged

but you have good taste in music

You're also a very vocal Alastor fan

You need to be watched 24/7 because you strike me as someone who'd commit war crimes for fun

Eyes on me📺🥲:

You like Techno a normal amount

you're probably a Bo Burnham fan

You also give the vibe that you like anime like Evangalion

as well as the vibe of hiding behind a chill facade even though you're kinda depressed

you also give the impression that you're into enemies to lovers and once sided pining in romance

You ship Vox x Alastor in a wholesome way and you're foaming at the mouth for their backstory

You hate Val(as you should)

Change the order 👑🪽:

You lament that Lucifer doesn't have a British accent

You HEAVILY lament Lucifer not being a heartless asshole

You oh so desperately wanna see Lucifer and Lilith in their prime/as a united power couple

You have slight daddy issues

You're also probably someone who grew up with some religious trauma

You're in your villain arc but it's mostly yo protect yourself

i highly suggest getting a dog, a rubber duck collection and a therapist

Get hooked🚬🦋:

Your search history is not suitable for human eyes

You definitely have daddy issues

You desperately wanna see Val on the poles

You're fun at partied but you cannot be left unsupervised under any circumstances

You radiate bad bitch energy but I feel like you'd apologize to a kindly janitor if you had to walk on a floor they just finished mopping

You can run in heels and I respect that immensely

Smile like you mean it😁🦌:

I get it! You love Alastor! Please lower your voice a tad friend!

It's concerning how quick you'd sell your soul to this man

You like jazz unironically(nice)

You wanna experience one of Al's radio shows

...I'm not entirely sure if you wanna hear it or be the victim...and that deeply concerns me

Use me up🕷️🥲:

You wanna see Angle Dust fuck shit up(same)

You don't make friends easily but you're the loyalest son of a bitch anyone could ever have and more people need to recognize that

You probably had a really rough childhood

You give ppl middle fingers and sass the way Oprah gave out cars back in the day

You just want a hug, someone to say they're proud of you(I'm proud of you friend) and a month long nap

We're sure to drown🐈‍⬛🥃🥺:

Hello again my fellow Pansexuals and Husk fans

Specifically the ones with severe depression, trust issues and think mixing Tequila and monster energy drinks will help with the abandonment issues

yeah, i see you, put the bottle down mf

get therapy, this a threat

You're so cynical that even shadow the hedgehog would ask if you're ok

asking for help doesn't make you weak fam, i get where your coming from but you need a good plucking you prickly cactus

oddly enough, you give the best advice to the few friends you keep in your circle but take none of your own advice

You listen to country rock with lyrics so sad that everyone in the car with you immediately get concerned

definitely a cat person

POP!👁️💥:

You either wanna be stepped on or do the stepping on

You probably watched Black Lagoon and loved Revy

If you don't know what I'm talking about, look her up, that's your type

Low key probably a pyromaniac

You're that one friend that's ALWAYS ready to punch your friend's ex's in the face

Honestly, I feel like you're scrappy enough to fist fight god with the confidence of someone who thinks they have a shot at winning

My machine 🐍 ⚙️:

You were really excited to see Pentious be one of the show's antagonists

You're still a little bitter about not getting your mad scientist, steam punk, snake man

You did love his War General outfit though

You probably really like shows like Arcane

You really wanted 'Enemies to lovers' CherriSnake or platonic/rivals CherriSnake

You probably have reptile as a pet

most likely a snake

Happy day in hell🎶🎤:

You're a basic Broadway bitch but your optimism is a tad infectious so I'll let it slide

You're a tad too optimistic though

Like, to a concerning degree

Someone could punch you and you'd ask them if they were ok despite having a split lip

you're definitely a workaholic

take that PTO sweetie, work will be there when you come back

Hell is forever😇😈:

you either really like Alex Brightman or you LOVE villains

you also love rock

You kicked your feet like a love sick when Adam did the guitar solo bit

Probably a fan of bands like Skillet

You have religious trauma but your coping mechanism is to crack jokes about it

some of them are probably inappropriate

Stayed gone📺🦌:

You ship Vox x Alastor a "normal" amount

You'd sell your soul for Vox and Al to have more duets together

You're probably a Vox simp

If you're not, its cuz you're an Al simp

You giggled at "That's the tea"

You also drooled at Al's demon form towards the end of the song

It starts with sorry🐍🥹:

friend, you are way too forgiving

someone could steal your life's savings and I feel like you'd just let them have it because "they probably need it more"

You were very proud of Pentious

Respectless💅📱:

You radiate chihuahua energy

You are 5'2 or smaller and 90 lbs soaking wet

someone need to make sure you don't run these streets lawless

don't get me wrong

You are absolutely a bad bitch that serves cunt like a 5 star restaurant serves gourmet steak

but you're gonna say the wrong thing to the wrong person one day

you cannot afford to fuck around and find out when they're over 5'9 my friend, sit down please

Whatever it takes🦋🩰:

you're the eldest child of your family aren't you

You don't need to prioritize everyone before yourself!

Love yourself first damn it!

You probably like Milfs or goths

You also probably wish Zestial had more songs

I have a feeling your favorite Disney movie is Encanto...

Poison🚬🕷️🥺:

Holy fuck you need a hug

You're either a survivor of some kind or life has just been kicking you in the balls for no god damn reason

Come here, I'm adopting you and making sure you're actually happy

You're low key an amazing dancer

literally one of the best people to be friends with

Loser Baby🐈‍⬛🕷️:

hello my fellow queers, Keith David fans, Blake Roman fans and Huskerdust shippers

You are a connoisseur of slow burn romance

You're probably a depressed hopeless romantic

friend, if you want the Husker to your dust...the loser to your baby...you gotta talk to people...

go touch grass

you're that one friend who bullies your bestie but that's cuz that your guy's love language

If anyone messed with your bestie, you'd fight that person to the death the way Husk and Angel did to those loan sharks

Hell's greatest dad🪽🦌:

You either beef with ppl for fun or you're a very flamboyant theater kid

Its probably both tbh

You probably fell in love with the blonde short king after this song

You ship Radioapple

you want a sitcom ft Radioapple and you'd sell your soul to get it

Your fav Disney movie is probably Aladdin

You totally play "HaHA! Fuck you..." on repeat

More than anything🪽😭:

So how's your relationship with your dad...

You cried so hard to this song that it scared you

grab the tissues, get your coziest blanket and go get your favorite treat

and some therapy

Welcome to Heaven😇🎶:

Emily is your favorite character

Your gaydar was going off when St. Peter started existing

Your a chill person

A little too chill though…

You might still be an active member of your community

Ya might wanna consider reducing your hours, there is such a thing as too much loyalty

Treat yourself to a vacation

You didn't know😧🪽:

Hello fellow black sheep of the family with severe religious trauma

You freaked the fuck out when the “If Hell is forever then Heaven must be a lie” line dropped

You felt so vindicated after this song and honestly, same

You LOVED Emily by the end of this song

Out for love 💗 🩰:

You like MILFs

You want Carmilla to kick/step on you

You’re either a magical girl fan, a fan of Latin music or both

You cheered so hard for Vaggie at the end you definitely got a noise complaint 🤣

Ready for this🎤⚔️:

You have anxiety

Your favorite character is probably Charlie

Your favorite movie is probably Marry Poppins or something in the same time period/genre

You’ve dealt with Karen’s before and watching Susan become tolerable was so satisfying for you

You want Alastor and Rosie to adopt you

More than anything(reprise):

You're the poster child of sappy hopeless romantics

You cried a little from joy here

You’re definitely not straight

You want this moment, go get yourself a Vaggie cuz you’re definitely gonna be the Charlie of the relationship

Finale🎶🎆:

You're the ultimate theater kid

This song hit all the sweet spots in your depressed brain for you

Let’s be honest, your favorite part of the song was either the Vees or Alastor

It’d your favorite part was with the Vees, your a huge chaos gremlin

You cannot be trusted with information but you’re very fun at parties

If your favorite part was Alastor’s part, get therapy

If you related to that part on a spiritual level, you mask so hard I’d believe you if you said you were born wearing a mask

[cameleche]

I CAN TOTALLY SEE THIS HAPPENING, and I feel like it does have a little bit of foreshadowing tbh 🫣

Like in the song of “Hell’s greatest dad” Alastor gets in the middle of the shot of Husk and Angel holding hands, like it’s just a second, and it could mean nothing but like, idk, I feel like the placement it’s kinda oddly specific tbh 🤨👀🤔

Then there’s the second time in the finale, where Alastor comes in, when they already had finish rebuilding the hotel (love this dumb lazyfuck, pendejo no dura nada✨💅✨)

He shows up singing and making his wholeass ✨entrances✨

Then proceeds to address Husk specifically, to either make fun of him, tease him, or mock him about him entertaining the thought of MAYBE just MAYBE having another break from Alastor (liberen a Husk de esta pinchi mísera 🗿) and Husk is obviously annoyed and having none of it, but looks also kinda resigned to it, which is understandable, he seems kinda desensitized to most of Alastor’s bs.

THEN one might think: “Oh, MAYBE Alastor would address Charlie next, cuz she looks happy to see him, and the whole bonding that they had in Cannibal town” 🤔

“MAYBE he will address Lucifer to make fun of him too, cuz he enjoys annoying him too (which tbh he does later)” 🤔

“MAYBE he will address Nifty, cuz just like Husk she is also his employee” 🤔

“Or MAYBE even Vaggie, he did have a couple of interactions with her, where he liked to annoyed her, and it could maybe be call back to when he told her “you’re not fully dressed without a smile” in the pilot

BUT NOPE

For SOME REASON, he address ANGEL, RIGHT AFTER MAKING FUN OF HUSK.

Angel. FRICKIN ANGEL. The guy he has like, the LEAST interactions with through the WHOLE SEASON, they barely talk in general, let alone one on one, I feel like the MOST they have talked one on one, is on the pilot and episode 1.

And Angel seems equally as surprise by this, Alastor is putting more of a “genuine smile” (as genuine as you can get with him) with Angel (very different to the mocking/teasing one he gave Husk) Angel seems surprise, but also smiles back, more of like a pleasantly surprise smile, but a smile nonetheless, Vaggie and Cherri also smile back at Alastor after this too, so yeah.

Then Alastor goes back to his new favorite hobby, annoying the shit out of Lucifer, which fair.

And Angel just gives him more of a genuine smile, but it’s understandable, most of his besties are just genuinely happy to see him back and after losing Pentious, it makes sense, even if it’s Alastor, “The Crazy psycho, Radio demon” it’s still someone they have spend time with and fought by their side to protect their home, it’s hard NOT to feel even slightly happy that he is back

(specially if you don’t know him as well as Husk, or if he doesn’t personally targets you, like he does with Lucifer)

And yeah, I don’t think I need to point out just how ANNOYED and disappointed Husk and Lucifer are that Alastor is back, cuz yeah.

But if it’s the case that Alastor would plant little by little a bit of doubt in Husk’s mind, about his new found friendship and maybe (hopefully, definitely ) future relationship that he has with Angel, THIS would be GREAT foreshadowing of it. 👀

This Toxic-fucked-up-platonic-dynamic that Husk and Alastor have is SO INTERESTING AND I NEED TO SEE MORE OF IT IN S2 🛐🛐🛐 and while we’re at it, more of content of the backstory of “Team Alastor” would be GREAT 💕🛐💕

{{Everyone talks about how the moment Valentino catches wind that Angel has feelings for Husk, he’s gonna try and convince Angel it’s too good to be true, but I don’t see nearly enough talk about Alastor absolutely gaslighting the hell out of Husk.

No money, no status, no control over his own soul. Alastor would spew the most subtly venomous barbs to convince Husk that he has nothing to offer Angel, and the worst part is, it would work. Husk’s greatest vice was greed. As an Overlord, he lived a life of excess, and anyone in his favor would want for nothing.

It would probably take so long to relearn that real love is about so much more than what you can give people, but Al’s gonna milk that insecurity for as long as it lasts.}}

[dontasktheradiodemon]

🎶 They're gearing up to fight now. The Alastor who feels like being underdressed has taken his coat off. The Alastor whose hair is too long is tying it back. And I (the Alastor with a full suit and the best haircut) am on the edge of my seat! This is it, sports fans! They're ready to go head to head!

🎶 ... Literally! They're locking antlers, like a pair of surly stags fighting for turf! Feet better known for tap-dancing are now pawing at the floor for purchase! Somebody's going to end up with a broken neck or a broken nose, and I don't know about you, ladies and gentlemen, but I'm hoping for both!

🎶 Do my ears deceive me? No! One of them is laughing at the other! Mockingly! Even as their antlers are hooked together! But why?! What fiendish plan is brewing? What does Alastor know that Alastor doesn't? Oh, the suspense is to die for!

🎶 Gentlemen, ladies, and crying babies: tonight you're listening to the match of an afterlifetime! A battle you'll never forget between two competitors who never should have met—they had to punch their ways through the walls between universes just to meet—but they're still ready to fight... to the finish!

🎶 So allow me to introduce... fighting each other for the first time live on air... the two biggest, baddest, most infamous brawlers in Hell...

Alastor the Radio Demon

—versus—

Alastor the Radio Demon!

🎶 With commentary provided by yours truly: Alastor the Radio Demon.

🎶 Don't touch that dial: this is a match you won't want to miss!