#alas the trials and tribulations of being a father

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte: I just had a long talk with Theodorus and Arthur about hitting and now they are yelling “it’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other.

[ofepiphxny]

✧ ― 𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐁𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐑

〈  regé-jean page  /  cis man  /  he + him  /  34 (340) 〉in the great land of prythian, AUDRIC BRYTHAR of the DAY COURT begins their journey towards a new future. known to be LOYAL AND OBSERVANT, their suspected RESERVED AND CAUTIOUS habits might prove to be their undoing. if the fae could compose a song for them, it could tell stories of THE SERENITY OF SUNLIGHT RESTING UPON SKIN, VIEWS OF GOLD AND IVORY, THE SKEPTICISMS OF THE FUTURE WHISPERED FROM THE SKY, AND A CROWN WEIGHED HEAVILY WITH TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS. the fates whispers to the HIGH LORD OF THE DAY COURT and it is said that their loyalties lie with PRYTHIAN. only time will tell if the HIGH FAE has what it takes to live amongst the ruin.

name: audric brythar face claim: regé-jean page pronouns & gender: he/him & cis man orientation: bisexual, biromantic age: 34/340 date of birth: january 30th zodiac sign: aquarius place of birth: the day court court: the day court position: high lord species: high fae abilities: day court specific magic (spell cleaving & sun manipulation – expert), winnowing family: jayne brythar (wife; deceased), tbd brythar (father; deceased), tbd brythar (mother; deceased?), tbd brythar (younger sibling), tbd brythar (younger sibling), tbd brythar (younger sibling) (parents’ names could maybe be brainstormed with sibling applicants?) moral alignment: neutral good mbti: isfj enneagram: 6w5 vice & virtue: pride & humility character inspos: elijah mikaelson (the vampire diaries), robb stark (game of thrones), clark kent (superman) inspo songs: grace by rag’n’bone man running up that hill by placebo the golden age by woodkid au revoir by onerepublic evermore by taylor swift and bon iver atlas by coldplay ━ history (death tw, murder tw) (tl;dr below)

Knowledge was power, a common sentiment told to Audric by his father, the former High Lord of Day Court. Told various times that power could be found in many forms, but what was harbored in the mind had the potential to make or break everything if given the chance. Keep vigilant because even the wind listened. Their home court was an immaculate vision of gold and ivory, yet Audric found his father to almost be the epitome of both. The way the older man had carried himself with such untouched grace. A lingering demeanor of patience and calm too, but one that demanded respect nonetheless. His devotion to his family, his children, was also a further testament to his character. Audric had admired him from an early age, an observant gaze and eager feet following him around the palace. While other younglings were running around in the streets, buzzing with laughter and ignoring the calls of responsibility, Audric’s childhood wasn’t as carefree.

He had always known he would one day follow in his father’s footsteps too. It had been a fact that was made clear very early on. As a young fae, Audric may not have fully grasped the importance of being the heir to a kingdom, but he listened. Listened to the words told to him, gradually learning to understand it all, keeping the teachings in the memory banks of his mind. One day, they would be needed. One day, he would need to be ready to take the leap. To fill the space left in his father’s eventual absence. That day did come, and while Audric had known to be prepared, it was difficult to remain still, to not let the thousands of emotions show on his face. His father’s death was not sudden, it had been a long time coming, but it hurt regardless of the timing. And speaking of timing, almost no time had passed after that before Audric became the new High Lord.

The phrase heavy is the head that wears the crown had definitely rung true in his heart. It was not an easy role, even if for a moment it could’ve sounded like it when only hearing about it growing up. Alas, he carried on in that role, a part of him hoping he’d be even a fraction of the ruler his father was. There had been a lingering air of reserve about Audric, but he was a dedicated and honorable High Lord despite it. And maybe any walls could be broken, proven by the one who would become his wife Jayne years later, another High Fae from the Day Court. They fell in love. It was real, bright, true. They had planned to have children one day too. But peace did not last, and war came to the doorstep of Prythian, catching so many of the land’s inhabitants off guard. Audric had readied himself for battle, readied the troops, given speeches to his people in attempts to calm their – understandable – trepidations.

Jayne also swore a fierce wish to join him, not wanting him to go into the fray of warfare alone. She wanted to stand by his side, hand in hand if needed. They were protective of each other, but respected each other too. Respected choices, and Audric had respected her choice to join the battlefield even though his heart ached with a lingering fear that something would go wrong. A gut feeling that, unfortunately, became reality. Jayne was slain in front of him, and Audric was too late to save her. He was among those trapped Under the Mountain shortly after, and was full of devastation as he mourned his wife. He hadn’t even been able to properly bury her. There hadn’t even been time for a goodbye.

Even as he eventually returned to the ivory palace, he found it felt empty without her. The wall had returned, a more stoic nature than before. Audric cannot imagine marrying again for love. A beautiful word but one tainted with pain for him now. They say all’s fair in love and war, but their current world was feeling very, very unfair in both. With their lands left with scattered ruins even a century later, the hope for rebuilding and alliances has become more important than ever. Audric does not want to be on the wrong side of history. He isn’t sure what may happen now, but he vows to take care of his family and his people. ━ tl;dr

The former High Lord of Day Court, Audric’s father, was an honorable man whom Audric admired from an early age

He’d always known that he’d take over as High Lord one day, and had been prepared for that day to come

His father passed and thus Audric was thrust into the role, hurt from his loss and hoping to be a fraction of the man his father was

Years later, Audric fell in love and got married, with them having plans to start a family in the future

They respected each other’s choices, and Audric stood by that even when his wife announced that she’d fight with him in the war, even if he was afraid something would go wrong

And it did, his wife was killed during the war, leaving him devastated and grieving while Under the Mountain

100 years since and Audric still finds the palace to feel empty at times without her, and he’s not sure if he’d ever marry again for love

━ headcanons

Audric’s preferred weapons are a sword and shield, which he inherited from his father, reflecting almost a paladin-type fighter

He has a golden-pelted pegasus that he uses as transportation whenever winnowing isn’t used

Has been known to be directly involved sometimes with training troops, watching their routines or even joining in the sparring

[fordecree7]

THE BIBLE BOOK OF GOD

New Testament

Mark 13

Jesus Foretells Destruction of the Temple

13 And as he came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, “Look, Teacher, what wonderful stones and what wonderful buildings!” 2 And Jesus said to him, “Do you see these great buildings? There will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down.”

Signs of the End of the Age

3 And as he sat on the Mount of Olives opposite the temple, Peter and James and John and Andrew asked him privately, 4 “Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign when all these things are about to be accomplished?” 5 And Jesus began to say to them, “See that no one leads you astray. 6 Many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am he!’ and they will lead many astray. 7 And when you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed. This must take place, but the end is not yet. 8 For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places; there will be famines. These are but the beginning of the birth pains.

9 “But be on your guard. For they will deliver you over to councils, and you will be beaten in synagogues, and you will stand before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them. 10 And the gospel must first be proclaimed to all nations. 11 And when they bring you to trial and deliver you over, do not be anxious beforehand what you are to say, but say whatever is given you in that hour, for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit. 12 And brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death. 13 And you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.

The Abomination of Desolation

14 “But when you see the abomination of desolation standing where he ought not to be (let the reader understand), then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains. 15 Let the one who is on the housetop not go down, nor enter his house, to take anything out, 16 and let the one who is in the field not turn back to take his cloak. 17 And alas for women who are pregnant and for those who are nursing infants in those days! 18 Pray that it may not happen in winter. 19 For in those days there will be such tribulation as has not been from the beginning of the creation that God created until now, and never will be. 20 And if the Lord had not cut short the days, no human being would be saved. But for the sake of the elect, whom he chose, he shortened the days. 21 And then if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or ‘Look, there he is!’ do not believe it. 22 For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform signs and wonders, to lead astray, if possible, the elect. 23 But be on guard; I have told you all things beforehand.

The Coming of the Son of Man

24 “But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light, 25 and the stars will be falling from heaven, and the powers in the heavens will be shaken. 26 And then they will see the Son of Man coming in clouds with great power and glory. 27 And then he will send out the angels and gather his elect from the four winds, from the ends of the earth to the ends of heaven.

The Lesson of the Fig Tree

28 “From the fig tree learn its lesson: as soon as its branch becomes tender and puts out its leaves, you know that summer is near. 29 So also, when you see these things taking place, you know that he is near, at the very gates. 30 Truly, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place. 31 Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.

No One Knows That Day or Hour

32 “But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. 33 Be on guard, keep awake. For you do not know when the time will come. 34 It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his servants in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to stay awake. 35 Therefore stay awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or in the morning— 36 lest he come suddenly and find you asleep. 37 And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake."

Mark 13

Diane Beauford

[iamjungkooked]

Until My Last Breath

↳Pairing: Jungkook x female reader

↳Genre: Smut (mild), Romance, Angst

↳Word count: 13.4k

↳Warnings: swearing, mild oral sex (f receiving), way too much making out, grinding (sort of?), mention of death. More than all of this Jeongguk is just fucking delicious in this fic (that’s the biggest warning i can give you)

↳Rating: 18+ (Don’t read if you are underage)

↳AU: werewolf! Jungkook + human OC

↳Summary: Sporting an undercut and tattoos Jeon Jungkook waltzes back in your life after 5 years of being away. You think you know him– and just when you think you have gotten close, he reveals a secret (or two). Following this, is a series of trials and tribulations that concludes in a way you never expect.

(Alternatively: the one where Jungkook creates a mess out of you)

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Your hands hurt from holding the grocery bags. Mrs. Jeon did offer her help but you refused because she has so much to do. If anything Jimin should have accompanied you considering that he’s always going on about how he’d marry you if he could.

Alas, he wasn’t there either because being the beta of the pack meant he had to run morning training and education with the younger children since Jungkook wasn’t there. Generally this was something the alpha of the pack would do-- but Mr. Jeon was busy with the politics of the werewolf and human world. Had Jungkook been here he would have been running the session seeing as he is next in line to be alpha of the pack. But he was miles away on the other side of the country. He has been for five years and truth be told you can’t even remember what his face looks like anymore.

With thoughts such as that the only accompaniment, you march along with as much energy you can muster at each step. The house comes into view. Once again with no other company but your own to entertain yourself you take a drip down memory lane. You remember the awe you first felt when Mr. Jeon brought you to the house. Your father had just passed away while on a drug raid. Mr. Jeon being his best friend brought you with him.

In the early days, the entire family tried to hide their secret. But then on a full moon, you curiously followed Jungkook out and watched as he transformed from man into a beast. Initially, you wanted to scream with horror, but the air got stuck in your throat when he began approaching you. Rooted to the spot and with no escape, Jungkook-- rather his wolf form nuzzled his nose against your neck and whimpered. The fear was gone just like that. All night long, you accompanied him, roaming the forest behind the house getting into all sorts of trouble. When the effect of the full moon began to fade during the early hours of the morning you remember sneaking back into the house and rummaging through his room to get him clothes for when he transformed back.

You kick the giant black gate open and walk down the cemented pathway flanked on either side by lawns outlined with a variety of flowers. To your left was the gazebo that Mr. Jeon built when you were sixteen as a birthday present because that happened to be your obsession at the time.

As the foyer nears, you see a huge commotion outside. It seemed everyone and their mother was present. With urgency in your steps only worsened by curiosity, you reach in no time. You stand on your tiptoes to get a view of what was happening, however, the five grocery bags in your hands weigh you down.

Momentarily the crowd parts. You see the outline of a face that isn’t recognizable-- the hoodie covering half the profile.

“What is going on?” you gather the courage to speak loudly against the chatter of the crowd.

It is loud enough to get the talking to stop and everyone turns to you, including the mysterious stranger.

He pulls his hoodie down.

The grocery bags drop from your hands, just as your mouth hangs open.

“Jungkook is back!” one of the kids tugs at your arm in excitement.

Well shit. You never could have recognized him even if someone planted his younger version of right next to him. He is probably just shy of 6 feet tall. Although engulfed in a black crewneck, you could tell he was built. His dark wash ripped blue jeans contour his thighs to perfection and just when you think he couldn’t have changed further you notice his hair. He had gone off and gotten himself an undercut. His hair was on the longer side, and it was parted to the left of his head while the undercut was visible on the right. He had even gone so far as to get tattoos that adorned his fingers, and his forearm-- a music note. Well now you were fucked because how could you ever resist a man with that kind of hairstyle and tattoos.

Correction, how could you resist a fucking werewolf who wears an undercut and has tattoos?

“Y/n?” he speaks and you swear you could have heard angels speaking to you.

You keep mum. In fact, you can’t even hear him. You’re too busy undressing him with your eyes. Your heart pounds, your knees feel weak because this man is simply too gorgeous to exist. How the hell is everyone else standing on their two feet while you feel like you’re going to fall any moment?

You say something. You have no idea what exactly because your ears are ringing, but you know something comes out of your mouth which causes everyone around you to giggle. You might as well just turn around and go hide somewhere because you’ve probably made a fool of yourself.

“Huh” comes his deep voice, but it’s faint. His remark only makes you wonder what you spat out.

“It’s hot” you fan yourself with your hand. Your mouth is parched, dry like the desert. “You--  Wow. You look--nice to--- welcome. I mean, g-good— to” you look at him, and pause to collect your thoughts. “Good to have you back. I think...” you are completely breathless and dazed by the end of that word salad. Your forehead scrunches in a frown as you try to shake away the magic spell his presence has cast on you. You don’t even bother to wait for a response as you run back down the pathway you came. You follow it out of the gate and turn the corner. A few paces up the hill you come upon the gated entrance to the forest.

You hear someone calling you out, but you’re a damn mess. You aren’t willing to let anyone see you like that. You run as far into the forest as your legs will carry you-- far, far, away from him.

You can finally understand the phrase “avoid like the plague” because that’s what you have been doing to Jungkook. For the past four days since he has been back, you have done anything and everything you can to avoid him. If you see him in the house, you immediately make a u-turn for your room. If you see him outside, you hide behind anything you can find-- a pillar, a bush, a tree, a car, another fucking human being.

Of course it doesn’t help that everyone tries to keep pushing you to him. Well, mostly his parents. But also random people like the ladies in Mrs. Jeon’s book club who on Saturday made a spectacle out of you.

“Come on, pose for a photo” they had said when they saw you and Jungkook out and about the house. You weren’t even looking at one another when they swarmed you and him, taking you by the arm and making you stand next to one another. They didn’t even ask nicely-- no. They demanded that you and Jungkook take a photo because apparently you two look amazing together. Despite your protests, and vigorous head shaking-- they basically pushed you to him, and thankfully he managed to steady you on your feet by catching your waist.

His arm around your waist as he holds you flush against him and your hand on his forearm while you two looked at one another-- that’s the picture they took. You may as well have just gotten a whole fucking photoshoot done while you were at it.

“Y/n’s probably always had a crush on him” one of the ladies, Mrs. Ri had mentioned while all the others including Mrs Jeon crowded around to look at the picture on the camera.

A tomato couldn’t be more red than you and that's saying something. All Jungkook did in response was shrug at you like he was enjoying it. Normally a man might object to being treated this way. But he didn’t utter a single word. Only he looked quite amused by the whole situation and your reaction as he smiled and chuckled to himself.

On the other hand, his parents always mentioned in his absence that they would love if you and him got together. You never paid any mind to those conversations in particular because it was Jungkook— atleast how you remembered him before he became a fucking Adonis. Not that it’s the only thing that matters. But you just never felt this way before, and now you do.

You tiptoe through the house while everyone is busy at this time of day. Mrs.Jeon is probably with all the other ladies for their book club, Mr.Jeon no doubt is in his study and Jimin is probably with Jungkook, training.

It sucks to be the only human sometimes because they can always hear you, and know what you’re thinking. But you can’t do the same. It makes you feel vulnerable. But everyone is good at reminding you about how lucky you are to be human.

You traipse through the living room, peeking behind from walls here and there to make sure Jungkook isn’t around because if you see him you’re sure you’ll lose your shit. Again.

There is a certain chunk of the wooden floor that creaks under pressure so you take care to avoid it. Because in case Jungkook is anywhere inside the house he’ll hear it.

Creak

“Fuck” you mutter, shutting your eyes tight and carefully lifting your toes from the damned spot which makes another sound.

You hear footsteps on the stairs behind you. Too scared to move, you straighten up.

“I was wondering when I’ll see you again” comes Jungkook’s voice.

“Heeeyyy” you turn around, plastering a smile on your face and it screams fake.

“Four days huh. Good job” Jungkook looks impressed as he comes down to ahalt at the last step . “How did you manage to avoid me for four whole days? I am curious”

“You knew”

“Of course I knew” he’s mouth moves as he chews gum, one brow raised at you, looking absolutely devilish (in the best way possible). “Too bad the streak has come to end” he places his hands in pockets lining his black sweats.

Well fuck. No point in denying it anymore then.

“If it wasn’t for this stupid floor I could have gone the whole week. Probably” you decide to give in instead of pretending you have no idea what he’s talking about.

He steps towards you, one corner of his mouth curved up in a sly smirk. “That would never happen. You’d have made a mistake at some point before that”

“Maybe” you shrug. You’re so surprised that you’re able to find your words this time. “Welcome back by the way” you offer a genuine smile, trying to make up for that botched attempt when he first arrived.

“Thanks. It’s good to be back” he sighs contentedly. “I missed this place and the people.” he looks around and then his gaze comes to rest on you. “Well, one person in particular” he looks you straight in the eyes.

“Your mom” you reply. He loves his mother.

“Yes. But also someone else”

“Who?” curiosity gets the best of you.

“Just someone” he shrugs.

You’re about to respond when Jimin comes in. “What are you two doing here?” he looks at Jungkook as he stops next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder.

Wordlessly, Jungkook’s eyes change color from his hazel brown to icy blue. He steps towards you and Jimin, and then pulls Jimin’s hand away from your shoulder. He looks at the boy, jaw grinding as he chews gum. “Can I talk to you for a sec?” his voice is calm, but his eyes are absolutely terrifying since they harbour a cold, mean look. They change back to brown in an instant once Jimin nods. You notice how tense Jimin looks but he walks with Jungkook anyway.  

They’re probably only gone for thirty seconds. But when they come back their body language is completely relaxed. They look like two pals reunited after years.

“Everything okay?” you ask Jimin.

“Yeah. All good” he nods. “I was just congratulating him”

“What for?” you look between the two of them, feeling awfully suspicious.

Jimin is about to open his mouth when he catches Jungkook’s gaze. Jungkook shakes his head and you notice, at which point you turn to him. “Fine. I don’t want to know” you huff. You start towards the back door which leads to the backyard where Mrs. Jeon is with her friends.

Just a couple steps in, you’re tugged back. You turn around to find Jungkook holding onto your wrist. There is something about the way he looks at you. You’ve seen this look before in movies—it’s the way the hero looks at the heroine when he thinks she isn’t looking. It’s soft, but it’s wanting-- a complete contrast from the way he glared the life out of Jimin just minutes ago. He looks like he’s got something to say, but he’s holding back.

“What is it?” your voice is quiet, like you’re too scared to speak out. As if your voice will give away the crazy whirlwind of emotions in your chest.

“Nothing” he blinks and lets go of your wrist. “See ya around” he turns on his heels and walks the other way as Jimin follows him.

The woods at this time of the night are majestic. Moonlight bathes the tops of trees in a silver glow. The moonlight filters through gaps in tree branches, and covers the ground in a white sheen. It looks nothing short of magical.There is a slight chill in the wind, but it’s nothing you aren’t used to. The fallen leaves crunch under your feet. Sounds of crickets chirping, owls hooting fills the air.

You walk through the pathway bordered on each side by large trees the branches of which meet in the middle above you, forming an archway. You feel safe in the womb of nature like you’re protected and nothing could touch you. Without fear, it’s easier for you to take in everything. The air you breathe feels fresh, and crisp. If you could, you would make time stop so you could stay in the woods at night and never have to leave.

As each step carries you further into the woods, you feel more and more at peace. The trees become more lush the further you go. The animals are more noticeable deep into the forest. You see squirrels running around the trees, there are bird nests high up in the branches. You can hear mockingjays in these parts of the forest too.

You stop by the clearing in the woods. This side of the woods is your favorite. You sit against the trunk of one of the trees, resting your head. You look at nothing in particular in the sky. It’s clear above you, with a full moon shining. Your mind immediately goes back to Jungkook as you gaze upon it. You feel tortured every time your thoughts turn to him. You don’t know if it’s normal for you to want to cry, but you’re already shedding tears. Your quiet sobs accompany the sounds of nature. The weight seems to be lifting off your shoulders, and it feels easier to breathe. But then you think of him and that someone he mentioned. It causes you to sob even harder. You hiccup, using the back of your hands to wipe away the tears.

“What’s wrong?”

You can’t forget that voice. You look up at Jungkook as he stands with his hands in his jean pockets.

You shake your head. “Nothing. I just-- I miss--” you begin to cry again. “I-I miss my dad” another sob escapes your throat.

“Can I give you a hug?” he asks in a soft voice, which makes you want to cry even harder. “Please”

You nod.

He comes over, sits down next to you and gathers you in his arms. He pulls you into himself, wrapping your arm around his side, as he holds you. You place your cheek against his chest as you hold him close. It may have started because of him, but it continues because you do miss your dad. The moment you said “dad” was when you knew you couldn’t stop even if you wanted to.

“I am sorry y/n” he strokes the back of your head. “I really am” he sniffles.

You pull back to find tears staining his cheeks. “Why are you crying?” you look up at him.

His gaze is locked onto yours. “Because, I can feel what you feel”

“Sorry. I forgot you’re a werewolf” you shift back on your spot, forcing his arm to fall from your shoulder.

He opens his mouth to say something but then closes it. He looks at you a few seconds longer. “Yeah. That’s it” he says, blinking and a lone tear escapes. Your fingers twitch at your side, needing to wipe it away. But it might be too weird so you let your fingers curl into a fist.

“Thank you for doing this” your mouth curves in a soft smile. “How did you find me here?”

“I’ve seen you in the woods for the past four nights. I didn’t know who it was at first because I only saw a flash of your hair, or your shoes. But today I followed you and it’s good I did because pretty girls like you shouldn’t be crying alone”

You snort. “Right. Pretty girls like me”

He raises a brow. “You don’t believe me?”

“I believe you. I just don’t believe your words”

“Then tell me what I can do to make you believe me” he states. You’re sure he isn’t serious but one look at him tells you he means every single word.

“Jungkook, it’s alright. You don’t have to do anything” you shake your head. But then it strikes you. “Although there is something…”

“Anything” the corners of his mouth upturned in a soft smile-- one that made your heart skip a beat (or ten maybe).

“I want to see your wolf form” you look at him tentatively, wondering if he’ll turn you down, or maybe even shout at you for making a request. Asking a werewolf to show their wolf is a sacred request and not something that should be asked lightly. You know how important their wolf form is to them. It’s like talking about sex among humans, but much more of a touchy subject.

“That’s it?” his eyebrows are furrowed together at the miniscule nature of your request.

“So you’ll show me? Can you do it on your own will?” your hands clasp in front of your chest in anticipation.

A laugh bellows from his chest. “Of course. I’ll show you” he stands up, dusts his hands, and the back of his jeans. “You may want to close your eyes because I need my clothes for later”

Without needing to be told in exact terms, you close your eyes and cover them with your hands for good measure. You can hear sounds of feet shuffling, a belt unbuckling and soft thuds—probably his clothes dropping ctx dagainst the soil.

“I’ll count to five and then open. One, Two, Three, Four, Five”

You give it a few more seconds just in case before you’re uncovering your eyes. Standing in front of you is a majestic white wolf, with icy blue eyes-- Jungkook’s eyes. Your mouth falls open, your mind unable to come up with words. You cautiously step towards him, hand reaching out wanting to touch him. He meets you halfway, nuzzling his nose against your hand. You laugh.

“You’re beautiful Jungkook” you whisper as you stroke the fur, which is softer than velvet against your hand.

The wolf whimpers in response.

“What can you do as a wolf? Any tricks?” you ask, forgetting that he’s not a dog.

He growls, baring his teeth.

You throw your hands up. “Geez. Sorry. I was just curious” you reach for his muzzle as you continue stroking gently to help him calm down.

He steps back, turns around and starts further into the forest.

“Where are you going?” you ask.

He whimpers and motions beyond the clearing with his head. You start to follow, when you remember his clothes and grab them. He’s already a few paces ahead of you. It seems that even his wolf isn’t patient.

“Slow down will you?” you yell as you run to try and catch up. He doesn’t listen though as he continues on.

You’re breathless by the time you reach a beautiful meadow full of wildflowers and fallen timber. Flowing right next to the meadow is a stream littered with little stones and large rocks alike. Moonlight shines through the cracks between tree branches above you. The air is cooler than you have ever experienced in this part of the woods. The grass is lush and soft beneath your feet unlike the rest of the forest which is mostly soil. You don’t know how you never came upon this place on your walks. But then again Jungkook probably knows the forest best.

He is stopped at the edge of the stream. You drop the pile of his clothes on a log, and walk towards the stream. You crouch and place your hand in the running stream. The icy cold water sends shivers down your body. You flick some of the water on him, at which point he growls at you again.

“This is fun” you chuckle as you get up.

He whimpers as he tackles you to the ground, and nuzzles his nose in your neck.

“It tickles, it tickles, it tickles” you laugh as you try to push him away. You doubt you could have pushed him away in his human form but as a wolf it’s impossible. You rub your hand against his fur. He mewls and falls on his back next to you and you rub his underbelly. He loves it as he continues to make these cute noises and all you want to do is hug him.

A twig snaps somewhere in the distance. Jungkook jumps up to his feet, growling, teeth showing as he paces in front of you looking in the direction of the sound. He continues to snarl and growl, pacing increasing in speed. He looks ready to kill. You abandon your perch on the grass in favor of standing up. You tread towards him. At this point you’re more scared of what he’s doing rather than where the sound came from. You reach him, stopping by his side. You look at him— at those blue eyes of his, and take a step forward but he’s quick to nudge you back with his head.

“It’s alright” you reassure him as you caress the top of his head.

You try once more to step beyond where he’s standing but he gives another push and you tumble back slightly. He snarls at you as he looks back at you over his shoulder, warning you to stay in your place. He turns back to inspect the woods, pacing from side to side.

“Alright. Fine” you give up. “But please don’t do anything. It could just an animal like a squirrel or something”

Ears perked up, he stands towering in front of you.

“I don’t think it was anything” you stay in your spot, as you place your hand on his flank.

He holds up his nose, moving his head in every direction like he’s trying to smell something out. He starts stepping back, his rump hitting you as he does. He turns around, leaning his muzzle against your shoulder, like he’s trying to comfort you and find comfort in you.

“It’s okay” you whisper, skimming his fur. “We’re fine” you wrap your arm around his neck.

He lets out a small cry as he snuggles into you.

“I brought your clothes by the way” you let go of him and he steps back. “I think it’s best if we go home. It’s already 1”

He steps back a few paces and disappears behind a tree while you turn around and wait for him.

“Give me a sign whenever you’re done” you call out. You wait and wait for what seems like ten minutes but is really only a minute or two.

He clears his throat. “I am good.” he says.

You turn around to face him. You really missed seeing his face-- in the human form. He was majestic in his wolf form, but there is something about the human side of him that you can’t get over. In all honesty, he’s a sight to behold.  

“So, what did you think?” he rubs his hands together in anticipation.

“You’re amazing” you meet him halfway. “I’ve seen almost everyone’s wolf form. But yours is breathtaking”

He chuckles. “Thank you. I am sure he’s happy to hear it too” he closes the distance. He reaches for your hand, curling his fingers around your palm. It’s the warmest feeling you have ever felt.

You open your mouth to protest but he’s already cutting you off.

“I am not letting go, until we’re out of these woods.” he tugs on your hand as he turns around and begins towards the house.

“Thank you. It is sweet of you to protect me”

“It’s my job to protect you. I will always be there when you need me” he squeezes your hand in reassurance.

It’s nice to know that you have someone in your corner. “I wish I could say the same. But you don’t need me to protect you”

He nods. “You’re right. But if I ever need a hug, I know who to come to”

Little does he know that you are ready to give him the whole wide world. “Anytime”

Your eyes lock for a few seconds and both of you burst into grins.

Walking in the forest by yourself is always peaceful. But walking in these woods hand in hand with Jungkook is euphoric.

A pang of dread fills your chest when Jungkook ignores you.

Just when you thought things were going good, he distanced himself. You don’t know what went wrong in the days following the night in the woods. But he was avoiding you. It wouldn’t have felt so bad were it not for the fact that the way he ignored you was cold. It wasn’t like you where it was more benign in nature and it was clear that you were avoiding him for fear of embarrassing yourself. He knew that too. But with him it’s something else

He wouldn’t even look at you. A frown seemed to have permanently settled on his face. He was never present anymore. He was always lost in thought with an inscrutable look in his eyes. If you showed up where he was, he’d leave wordlessly. If you tried to talk to him he’d act like he couldn’t even hear you and that would be followed by his departure. And when he did look at you-- the only way to interpret the expression in his eyes was: resentment. You had no idea why he was doing that.

So as the whole family, including Jimin was sitting in the backyard under the canopy for breakfast, Jungkook made to leave just as you were approaching to join them. But his mother made him sit back down.

“Jungkook, you’re not going to leave” her tone is stern.

He rolls his eyes with a huff as he sits back down.

“What’s wrong with you dude?” Jimin leans in, thinking he’s whispering but his voice is a tad bit louder than that.

Even you can hear him just as you are a few steps away.

“Nothing” his voice is devoid of emotion. He leans back in his chair, sliding down against the back like he just wants to disappear. He fiddles with his fingers.

“Hi everyone” you offer a tight lipped smile. Everyone except for Jungkook replies. “Hi Jungkook” you say after not being met with a response.

He stays silent, holding the same sulked posture as before, not even acknowledging your presence.

You catch Jimin’s eyes. He gestures with his head to Jungkook as if to ask ‘what’s up’. You shrug because you have no clue what has gotten into him. You take the empty chair next to Jungkook and you can see him shifting in his chair uncomfortably. Your heart sinks in your chest, but you dismiss it. You look over at Jimin sitting on the opposite side of the table. He looks between you and Jungkook and you just know he’s thinking something. You both look at each other-- a silent conversation ensuing.

“Oh no. I forgot the cutlery” Mrs. Jeon jumps suddenly. She gets up when you interrupt.

“It’s okay. I can grab it” you gesture for her to sit down. “Do you want that special set?” you smile at her.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve all been together like this. I think it’s time we use it. This is a special occasion. The box is in the attic. Will you be okay?”

“It’s okay. I got it”  you put her concern to rest with a grin.

You glance at Jungkook who still hasn’t moved an inch as he is still playing with his fingers and ignoring everyone around him. You make way inside the house, and up the stairs to the second floor. The entrance to the attic is on the second floor. You turn right on the landing, moving towards your room and at the end of the hallway. You pull the rope which unfolds the ladder. It comes down, you climb it and reach the musty room.

It’s full of boxes. You rummage through them to find the one labeled cutlery. The box is quite heavy, but you manage to climb down with it safely. You push the ladder back up, and the door closes blending in with the rest of the ceiling. You carry the box down the first two flights of stairs, slightly shaking because of how heavy it is.

You lose your footing at the beginning of the third set of stairs and down you go five stairs. The box slips from your hand. A scream rips through the air. You manage not to hit your head. But your ankle twists during the fall. You’re laying on your side attempting to get up when everyone rushes into the room.

Jungkook is the first one to arrive. “Are you okay?” he helps you sit up and you wince.

It hurts so damn much, you can’t stop yourself from crying. “I- I am” you grimace. “I am fine” you croak through a strained voice, tears sliding down your cheeks.

“No. You’re not” he cups your cheeks to make you look at him. He inspects your head for injuries. “You’re not fucking fine” he’s pissed as he’s practically at the verge of yelling. “What the fuck were you thinking?” he slides an arm under your back, and the other under your knee as he picks you up off the floor. You lock your hands behind his neck, keeping your gaze cast down. You don’t want to look at him in this condition.“I am taking her to her room” he announces, and no one even gets a word in because he’s already started up the flight of stairs.

You try to contain your cries, but the pain is too sharp especially at your ankle. You can sense him looking down at you.

“What were you trying to do?” he shakes his head. You should have called for help, you idiot”

“Sorry” you snivel still not meeting his eyes. “I was just trying to bring the box down and I lost my footing”

You reach the room, and he kicks the ajar door fully open. Once you’re in, he kicks it close. He gently lays you down on the bed, adjusting the pillow underneath your head.

You wince in pain, wiping away the tears. For the first time you look at him and he’s pacing, like he was in the woods except he’s in his human form. “Where does it hurt?” he sounds concerned but it’s that angry kind of way. There is no softness in his tone, if anything its gruff.

“You don’t have to worry. I am okay”

“Bullshit” he stops and sits at the edge of the bed, as he takes off your shoe and sock to look at your ankle. He touches the ankle bone, and you inhale a sharp breath. “See” he shakes his head like he’s disappointed. “That looks like it’s sprained. You could have asked--”

“You for help?” you complete his sentence, full well knowing that’s what he intended.

His eyes flicker to you, but he doesn’t say anything. He begins to gently feel around your ankle for any other injuries, brows furrowing in concentration.

You watch him, as he continues to look for other wounds,or gashes-- scanning your legs, arms, and face. You can’t understand the sudden shift in his behaviour. “What are you doing?”

He stops to look at you. “What do you mean? I am checking for any other injuries” he says in a blunt tone and resumes inspection.

“That’s not what I mean” you push his hands away from your forearms just as he’s looking over for more bruises. “Why do you suddenly give a shit? What do you care if I live or die”

He opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again and shuts it, grinding his jaw. “I’ll grab ice” he ignores your question and gets up from the bed.

You tug him back by the hem of his sleeve. “I need an answer”

“I don’t have one” he yanks his arm, and the cloth slips from your fingers.

“This is what I am talking about” you bite the inside of your cheek just as he’s approaching the door “One minute you act like you give a crap about me, and the next you act like you wouldn’t blink an eye if I died”

He’s reaching for the doorknob when he turns around. His brown wide eyes stare back at you He scoffs. “I wouldn’t care if you died?” his disbelief reflects in his partly open mouth. Do you---” he covers his face with his hands, taking in deep breaths and letting his hands run through his locks before looking at you. “You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about” he turns around and reaches for the door when there is a knock.

He sighs in frustration. “Who the hell--” he opens the door.

Jimin stands on the other side of the door with an ice pack in his hand, and a bottle of what looks like medicine. Jimin peeks over Jungkook’s shoulder, about to say something. But Jungkook grabs the ice pack and medicine wordlessly and shuts the door in his face.

He walks back and presses the ice pack to your ankle, while holding the tiny bottle out for you.

“I don’t want it” you say sharply, looking to the side.

You hear him huff. “Do I look like I give a shit right now?” he seethes through clenched teeth.

You turn to him. “You know this whole tough guy act doesn’t scare me”

He pulls his lower lip between his teeth. If this were a cartoon he would have smoke coming out of his ears. “Just take it”

You study him, your gazes locked on each other. Neither of you even blink. His nostrils are still flaring and you’re still breathing heavily through pursed lips. “I hate you” you snatch the bottle from him and chug the bitter liquid down.

His expression changes for a moment-- the look in his eyes softens. He blinks, casting his gaze down momentarily. But then he’s back to carrying a frown on his face as he looks up at you. “You should. You shouldn’t like me at all” his tone gentler than before, hiding beneath it an infinity of disappointment that you catch.

“Well now I don’t. You damn well made sure of that” you grab the pillow next to you and hide your face behind it.

Seconds later you hear the door slam and that’s when you scream into the pillow.

Your ankle gets better in the next couple of weeks, but your relationship with Jungkook doesn’t. You’re still distant from each other. Still angry at each other. Your silent fight has tensed the atmosphere in the whole house. It’s awkward to say the least. Mr. and Mrs. Jeon skirt around you both, walking on eggshells whenever you are in a room together. Dinners are silent for the most part except for when his parents make conversation about their day.

You both ignore each other. Neither of you even looks in the direction of the other person. If you happen to pass each other in the house, you avoid each other.

Perhaps everyone has had enough-- especially Mrs. Jeon since she broaches the subject at dinner one night.

“Alright” she holds her fingers in a steeple. “What the hell is wrong with you two?”

You and Jungkook glance at each other wary of how she’s speaking because she never swears-- not even use the word ‘hell’.

You both say at the same time. “Nothing”

“Bullshit” she slams her hands on the table.

“Honey” Mr. Jeon looks at her.

She dismisses it. “ No. We’re going to address this”

“Mom” Jungkook looks at her warningly. “Don’t”

“What happened?” she looks at you. “He won’t tell me” she glances at her son from the periphery of her vision. “But I know you will”

“Nothing. I promise” you offer a half hearted smile.

“I wasn’t expecting this from you y/n” she sounds disappointed.

“Mrs. Jeon. I swear to you it’s nothing. Even if there is something we can sort it out amongst ourselves”

“Well that’s just the problem isn’t it. You’re not. You don’t even look at each other”

You avert your gaze sideways.

“Just drop it will you?” Jungkook sounds frustrated. “We’re good” he doesn’t even look sincere in the least bit.

You nod finding purchase in your lap, barely making eye contact with anyone.

“Whatever it is, apologize” she demands. She looks to Jungkook, raising her brows at him expectantly. She waits for him to say something. He avoids looking at her but she is persistent. It’s only for a few seconds but he crumbles under the pressure and mumbles a “sorry”

“Look at her and say it” Mrs. Jeon says curtly.

He looks at you, eyes meeting yours for the first time in weeks.

Something changes in you and once again you feel like crying just because he’s there.

“Sorry” he looks away, folding his arms across his chest and chewing on his lip.

“Well you can tell him Mrs. Jeon that if he isn’t going to mean it, I don’t accept it” you glance at her and then back at your lap, leaning against the chair. 

“You can tell her that this is all she’s getting from me” he looks at his mother too.

“Tell him that he’s the one who started it. So, if he can’t even own up to it there really is no point in talking about it” your cheeks feel warm as you keep your gaze fixed firmly on your lap.

“While you’re at it mom, you can tell her that she shouldn’t be talking about things when she doesn’t know what’s going on” Jungkook rolls his eyes.

Your nostrils flare and so do his. You’re breathing heavily, cheeks red and eyes wide. “Maybe Mrs. Jeon you can remind him that he never actually told me what his problem is” you glare at him.

She looks between the two of you and your both lower your gaze.

Jungkook scoffs, returning an equally contemptuous glare towards you. “I don’t have a problem. It’s not my fault she doesn’t understand I don’t actually want to talk to her”

“Great! you throw your hands in the air and look at his parents. “You can tell him he’s the biggest asshole I have ever met in my entire life and I regret ever feeling anything for him” you slam your hands on the table and storm off.

The breeze is cool as it caresses your face. You sniffle away the tears as they well up in your eyes. The woods seem to be the only thing that can comfort you. You walk down your usual pathway, hugging yourself against the chill. As you look around at the moon bathed trees, they look different to you. But they don’t seem as beautiful to you as they did when you were with Jungkook.

The whole forest feels different.

You reach the clearing once more where he found you. You’re overcome with emotion, and your eyes tear up once again. You choke a sob away. You sit against the same tree, look at the same clear sky blanketed by stars. His voice echoes in your head when he asked if he could give you a hug.

You don’t know what happened to that boy. You don’t know where he went and if he will ever come back. You thought he was a friend. But it turns out he wasn’t. He’s just a stranger that you used to know.

You’re immersed in your thoughts. You look down at your hands, a bittersweet sigh passing your lips.

There is a rustle in the bushes near you and you’re immediately on alert. You slowly stand up trying not to make any sudden movements. You look in the direction of the sound and see two glowing brown eyes staring at you.

Your breath catches in your throat. You don’t straighten up fully, for the fear of aggravating whatever animal it is, so you stay in a partly bent position, hands visible by your side.

The animal steps out from behind the shadows.

It’s a wolf-- a black one. It’s not Jimin because his fur is brown. It sure as hell isn’t Jungkook.

The wolf growls at you. It steps towards you like a predator towards prey.

Full blown panic sets in. You’re frozen on the spot. Your heart beats hard and fast, as if the sound rings in your ears. Is this how you die? Alone in the woods? Your whole life flashes in your mind. Among all of that the only name and face that echoes in your head is Jungkook’s  because you would hate to die and not have a chance to talk to him. That would be the biggest regret of your life.

The wolf is still approaching you, and it’s halfway there. It growls and snarls-- saliva dripping from its mouth.

“Oh please no” you whisper, as your knees begin to buckle.

The wolf takes a leap towards you. But at the end second, you see a white one knocking the black one out mid air. They both fly some distance and fall on the ground.

“Jungkook!” you scream running in his direction.

Those blue eyes look back at you as he gets up on all fours.He keeps growling at the other wolf.. You know better than to interfere, so you stay behind him. Both of them snarl at each other. The other wolf howls, probably to try and intimidate Jungkook. But then he howls-- it’s loud and fierce so much so that you have to close your ears. He then makes a sound that is a mix between a roar and a growl as he steps towards the wolf.

“Jungkook no” you hold your hand out for him but he’s just beyond your reach. He looks back at you. You shake your head. He turns to the other wolf and makes a sound that sounds like a threatening bark.

There is a moment where they both just look at each other. Then the other one whimpers and leaves-- tail between its legs quite literally.  

Your knees give out and you fall on the ground, sobbing and hugging yourself. Your cries fill the air. You sob hard enough to make your whole body shake. You have never felt such fear in your life and not just for yourself. You were more worried for Jungkook.

He comes running to you, fully clothed somehow. He immediately holds you in his arms. He holds you close, chin resting on the top of your head, as you bury your face in his chest, body shaking in his arms. You can’t even breathe  properly-- gasping for air with short shallow breaths.“Jungkook” you whimper, holding onto his shirt.

“I am here” he squeezes tighter. “I am right here. You’re safe”

“I-I” you pull back to look up at him, eyes swollen and red, tears still falling down your face in droves. “I thought you were going to...” you bawl again just at the thought of something happening to him. You hide your face against his chest, wrapping your arms against him so tight, you’re sure he’s having a hard time breathing.

“I am okay. I am not even hurt” he reassures you.

“I was so…” you hiccup. “Worried that--that s-some-something w-would happen to you” you manage to choke out the words.

“Look at me” he holds your face in his hands, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “I am completely okay. I was worried for you. I was scared. I was so so scared” he gazes into your eyes, and you know he’s speaking the truth because he’s beginning to cry too.

You sniffle, trying to control your sobs so you can tell him. “The only thing I could think of was you. I didn’t want to die without talking to you. I was afraid I would never get to talk to you”

“Me too” he croaks. “You didn’t get hurt anywhere did you?” there is panic in his eyes as he suddenly realizes that.

You shake your head. “No. You saved me”

“I told you I’d always protect you didn’t I?” he snivels.

Your lips just in a pout, lips quivering. “How did you know?” you slide your thumbs against his cheeks to wipe the tears.

“I came to the woods to cool off for a bit” he stops to rub the tears from your cheeks as the water works start again. “I was just so pissed, so naturally my wolf took over and I transformed. I was just roaming around, when I could smell you. I followed your scent. I saw the whole thing and trust me, my heart almost stopped. I was waiting for the right moment to intervene and when that wolf jumped at you, I lost it”

“I am sorry I said all those things” you clutch the material of his shirt tighter, looking down.

“No. I started this whole shit and if I hadn’t you wouldn’t have gotten into trouble. I could have lost you tonight and it would have been my fault. I could never forgive myself” he takes your hands in his, curling his fingers in yours. “I am so so sorry”

“So we’re good?” you chuckle.

He doesn’t laugh with you. “Look, if this night has proved anything, it’s that you shouldn’t like me. I told you. Don’t like me. I am not right for you. I am not even good for you. Look at where I landed you tonight” his fingers begin to slip from yours.

“You’re wrong” you hold tight onto his hands.

“I can’t y/n” he avoids your eyes, his shoulders droop. He looks absolutely defeated.

“What’s the reason?” you press on. “Is it someone else?”

“No” he’s quick to shut down that train of thoughts in your head. “There’s no one else. But I can’t. You hold too much power over me. That’s exactly why I can’t”

“I don’t get it. You do all these things for me that no one ever has. Your actions say one thing and your words another. What am I supposed to do Jungkook?”

“Don’t like me. Stay far far away from me” he pulls his hands away from yours. “I’ll take you home”

“Jungkook-”

“I am taking you home” he says firmly, as he lifts you off the ground in his arms.

You hook your hands behind his neck. You let your head rest against the crook of his neck. You let him take you home because you’re too tired to fight. You don’t want to fight with him because you know that you love this man. If the night taught you anything, it was that.

“Y/n we’re going to be leaving” Mrs. Jeon hurriedly comes into the kitchen, opening up cabinets and grabbing food.

“Leaving?” your brows furrowed. “Where?”

“Jungkook’s dad and I have to go to the orphanage in the city for an event. We’ll be back by tonight. But Jungkook is home if you need anything” she packs up a bag full of food, probably for the journey since the drive to the city is 2 hours.

“Wait, you’re both leaving? Jungkook and I are going to be alone…?” your voice trails at the end, having been met with a dreadful realization.

Mrs. Jeon’s nose scrunches as she walks over to you. “Is everything okay?”

You’re too busy worrying so you don’t even hear her.

Mrs. Jeon calls out your name a couple of times before she physically has to shake you. “Y/n, what’s going on?”

You blink rapidly. “Oh nothing. Everything is fine. I just thought he would go with you too”

“We asked him, but he said you’d be alone at home so he’ll stay too”

“He said that?” your eyes widen. You don’t understand his concern.

She nods. “Mmhmm. He also said he will stay just in case you need something while everyone is gone. I would ask you to come too but I didn’t want you to feel bad”

You shake your head. “It’s alright. I’d cry the whole time anyway thinking of my parents” you chuckle. “But you know I can take care of myself”

Mrs. Jeon chuckles. “I know that. But tell Jungkook that because this boy was adamant on not wanting to leave you alone. I don’t understand him” she shakes her head, like any mother aggrieved of her child would. You can’t blame her though. He is a unique specimen.

“Yeah me neither” you purse your lips in a smile.

“Alright. We’ll be off then” she gives you a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “If he troubles you, call me right away”

“I will”

She makes haste of leaving, carrying the bag.

You spend a better part of the day hiding in your room, avoiding Jungkook. It’s the only place in the entire house where he won’t come. Not after everything that has happened between you. He’s honorable in that sense. Things have shifted between you once again. There’s no anger anymore. All of that has been replaced by awkwardness. Now if you see each other, you only nod at one another. Occasionally, you talk too. But it’s always surface level things. Nonetheless, it’s a step in the right direction.

At half past one though, your stomach starts to grumble and gradually all you can think about is food. It’s a relief in a way because it distracts you from him. You spend ten minutes trying to persuade your brain that you’re not actually hungry.

“I am not hungry” you chant it like a mantra hoping that at least for a while it will go away.

After agonizing and torturing yourself for half an hour, you give in.

“Fuck this” you grumble as your hunger gets the better of you. You drag yourself down to the kitchen. Unlike last time though you don’t tiptoe around the house.

You go into the kitchen, open the fridge to find two plates already filled with food. A note, no doubt from Mrs. Jeon is stuck into the cling film: don’t forget to eat.

You grab a plate for yourself, leaving the other one in the fridge for Jungkook. You’re about to shut the door, when you change your mind. This may serve as an excuse to talk to him. At the end of the day, you’re going to be living in the same house. So you figure you can’t go on avoiding him.

You grab the second plate, heat both of them in the microwave.

You head back upstairs, where the bedroom’s are. You turn left at the landing towards his room which is at the end of the hallway. You stop in front of the door, and seeing as your hands are full you settle for calling his name. “Jungkook, you in your room? I got food”

You wait, but there is no response.

“Jungkook” you call again.

No response. Finding yourself with no other choice left, you somehow manage to balance the plate on your forearm. With the free hand, you turn the handle.

You peek your head inside to find the room empty. Just as you’re about to leave your eyes catch something at his bedside table. You know you shouldn’t go inside, but you can’t help it. You leave one of the plate’s on his bedside table  because you can’t lug three things around. You grab it, meaning to ask him about it when you find him.

You close the door, and head back downstairs. You walk the whole of the first floor from the dining room, living room, kitchen, family room calling out his name. But he’s nowhere.

“Maybe he’s in the basement” you think to yourself as you head downstairs. You walk down the steps.

It’s dark save for the blue LED lights running along the ceiling. You walk in further turning the corner from where the pool table, and the arcade game machines are. You remember that before Jungkook left he had set up one half of the basement as his gaming room.

Sure enough as you near the room you hear sounds of gunshots, and rifles and some mild cursing which makes you chuckle.

You don’t bother knocking as you enter. The same blue LED lights adorn the room. You can see his black mop of hair against the couch.

“Are you hungry?” you say tentatively as you stop next to the couch.

He immediately stops playing, throwing his remote on the ground as he turns to you. He takes off his headphones. You notice his hair is tied up in a bun, which manages to make your heart skip a few beats.

“Oh hey” he says, straightening up. “You didn’t have to” he notices the plate in your hand.

“Your mom said you haven’t been eating” you hold the plate for him and he reaches for it.

“Thanks” he offers a pursed lip smile. He takes the plate and sets it aside on the side table. A few beats of silence pass. He taps his fingers against one another, something you notice he does when he’s nervous. His eyes stay fixed on his hands.

“Will you make me a promise?” you look at his profile.

He clears his throat. “Depends on what it is”

You roll your eyes, fully expecting that response. “Just say you will”

Your persistent gaze makes him shift uncomfortably in his spot. He sighs, looking ahead at nothing in particular, while thinking over your request. He turns to you. “Fine”

“Promise me if I ask you questions, you will answer. It can be anything”

“That doesn’t sound very fair” his lips quiver at the corners, a hint of smile making an appearance. “What if I don’t want to answer”

“Too bad” you narrow your eyes at him. “You don’t have a choice. So?” you raise your brows giving him an expectant look.

He considers your demand, looking back at his hands again. “Well looks like I don’t have a choice”

“Good. Because I am asking right now”

At this, he looks at you wide eyed.

“Now?”

You nod. “Mmhmm. Tell me why you won’t act on your feelings”

He opens his mouth to speak but you cut him off. “Don’t deny it. If you didn’t feel anything for me you wouldn’t have lost your shit the day I hurt my ankle and you sure as shit wouldn’t have risked your life for me” you remind him. “And you wouldn’t have put this next to your bed” you bring forward the picture of you and him Mrs.Jeon’s friends had taken-- the one where you’re both looking at each other as he holds you by the waist.

He lets out an exasperated sigh. He rubs his hands on his face, resting his elbows on his knees as he keeps his face covered. He pulls his hands away , crossing them together. He looks at you, trying to determine how he should begin. “You’re right. I do have feelings for you. I’ve been here before y/n and…” he pauses, swallowing thickly.

“And what?” you prod, placing the photo frame next to you.

“She was beautiful. You should have seen her. She was amazing, just beyond I could express. Everyone here loved her. We used to spend every day together. Her parents hated me for it” he lets out a chuckle, a nostalgic look in his eyes.

“What happened?”

“She-- she died”

Your mouth hangs open. “I am so so sorry. I had no idea. I am sorry. Just.. forget I asked. I don’t need to know” you feel guilty immediately.

“No. It’s alright. I’ve already started. There was a fire in the woods years ago and she died in that. Some humans were having a bonfire and they left the fire burning. It caught on and somehow she got stuck in the middle of it with no escape” he looks down at his hands yet again.

You shift closer to him and wrap your arms around his shoulders resting your head on against the crook of his neck. “I am really sorry”

“Thank you” he places a hand on your forearm, leaning his cheek on your head.

“If I had known, I never would have pressed you. I feel like an asshole” you mumble.

“You’re not an asshole” he replies.

“I get it now and I promise you I won’t ever ask you to consider your feelings for me again” you lift your head and place a kiss on his cheek.

His lips curve up in a grin immediately and he is quick to place a kiss on your cheek too. “You’re amazing” his gaze locks with yours.

“I know” you grin. “Can I ask you something else too... ?” you say tentatively.

He nods. “Anything”

“Did you… did you imprint on her?” you ask, noting just how close you’re sitting to him. You can smell his breath, and feel it on your face as he beholds you in the most loving look in his eyes.

A coughing fit ensues for Jungkook, and you unwrap your arms from his shoulder, in favour of gently patting his back. “Sorry. Bad question hey?”

“No” he dismisses with his hand. “It’s just I’ve never been asked that”

“Forget I asked” you shake your head.

“No. I promised. Not her. Only my human side loved her. To imprint on someone all of me, including my wolf has to feel something. That’s the only way werewolves can imprint and it would be a far stronger bond than what I had with her” he sighs. “I have imprinted on someone. Not her” he finally answers your question.

“Oh my god” your heart sinks. “I- I have no idea what to say” you shift away from him, feeling like you’ve violated some rule. As if you have made him cheat on someone with you.

“Y/n” he says as soon as he sees your body language tensing. “It’s not what you’re thinking”

“No” you shake your head. “I am sorry. I am so sorry. I am so fucking stupid” you get up abruptly and march off while he calls out for you.

As is customary every third Friday of the month, the children from the neighbourhood gather around the campfire. This time Jungkook is there so he’ll have to answer all their questions.

Everyone sits around in a circle, some on the logs and others on chairs. Jungkook and you sit on opposite sides of the fire, Your eyes are fixed on the embers burning away. He holds a stick as he’s poking at the coal to keep the fire going. Your eyes meet momentarily as you both look up, but you look away first, busying yourself with watching the fire burn away the wood once more. You can still however feel his gaze resting on your face. But you’re too resigned at this moment to feel anything but emptiness.

“Is everyone ready?” Jimin comes along, absolutely chirpy and the complete opposite of how you look and feel. That’s when you sense Jungkook looks away. Jimin settles into the empty spot on the log next to you. He passes around drinks to the group. He offers you one too, but you decline. “Hey” he nudges you.

“Hmm” you turn your attention to him.

“What’s going on with you? Everyone’s been asking me what’s up”

“Nothing’s up” you shrug. “I am absolutely okay”

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. But at least don’t lie” Jimin purses his lips in a smile.

“Sorry Jiminie. I am just not feeling great. I’ll be okay I promise” you note with a half assed smile.

“So who wants to go first and ask Jungkook questions” Jimin turns to the group once he’s assured by you. The group is made up of mostly older kids in their late teens. But there are some younger children mixed in the group.

A chorus of ‘me, me ,me, me’ starts up.

“How about we go one by one” Jimin suggests and the sea of hands in the air disappears.

“How was the city?” someone from your side asks. But you couldn’t be bothered to know who.

“It was good.” he sighs, poking the fire logs once again. “But it was dull compared to this place” his eyes flicker to you momentarily.

You catch him, if only for a second and then look at your hands as you fiddle with them.

“Did you find a human mate? I am sure you met very pretty girls” one of the girls asks. The question you piques your interest.

You remember she was the one who excitedly told you Jungkook was back.

He doesn’t respond immediately which only makes you think that he did meet someone there. Why wouldn’t he? She’s probably the one he’s imprinted on. You would leave were it not for Jimin who holds your wrist with a shake of his head as soon as he sees you’re about to get up.

“I did meet girls.” Jungkook says, looking at the little girl. “But they are nothing compared to someone else I know” he shifts his gaze to you once more. “She’s beautiful, but she doesn’t see it that way” he looks right at you, like he’s speaking to you, and you only. Time seems to stand still momentarily because he acts like no one else is around. “It’s a shame because she really is the most beautiful girl I have ever met” he holds your gaze, rendering you unable to look away.

You hear aww’s and squeals from all around you which pulls you away from the trance and blinkingly you avert your gaze.

“Does she know you like her?” someone else asks, this time a boy.

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. I think she does. By the way, I thought this was about exchanging stories about our ancestry” he looks around at everyone.

“Yeah. We hear those every month. But this is much more exciting and romantic” one of the older girls probably in her late teens replies, and everyone agrees as they nod or offer a ‘yes’ in agreement. “Tell us more. What’s it like to imprint on someone?”

“Are you sure we should be talking about this? Aren’t they young?” Jungkook looks at Jimin.

“They won’t tell if you don’t. Right guys?” Jimin chuckles and everyone nods eagerly.

“Alright then” Jungkook continues.

At this point you really want to leave because you don’t want to hear about how she makes him happy, and how his whole life has changed because of her. But you stay because some part of you is still holding onto hope of you and him.

“It feels like gravity is shifting from underneath you. When you look at her, you can see everything clearly. It’s as if your past, present, and future come together all at once and everything makes sense. It’s as if you finally find the ‘why’ of your existence. You’ll be anything for her-- whatever she needs be that a protector, a friend, a lover. Anything… he trails.

“That’s so romantic” the girl squeals dreamily. “I want that too”

Jungkook laughs. “Any other burning questions?”

“When are you going to tell her?” another question comes which only furthers your resolve to leave. You get up, having had enough of it. The moment you stand, everyone turns to look at you. Without a word, you begin walking towards the house.

“Don’t you want to know who it is y/n?” Jungkook yells as you leave,  his words halting you in your steps. You feel everyone’s eyes darting back and forth between you and him.

You look over your shoulder. ‘I already told you”

“I think you’ll want to know,” he replies. You hear the crunch of the grass beneath his feet as he walks towards you. He gently places a hand on your elbow to turn you around. “Just let me tell you”

You glance up at the man. “I won’t be a--able to hear it” your voice cracks.

“I did imprint on someone—“

“Jungkook” you say warningly.

“Just listen to me” his grip on your elbow tightens, his jaw tightening.

“Jungkook please” you beg just as your eyes begin to water. You avert your gaze to the side. “Please. I cannot do this” you shake your head.

“I love her” he continues anyway despite your protests. You know he’s looking at you. But you can’t. You can hear the pain in his voice which makes everything so much more worse because that means he could never love anyone the way he loved her. “ She makes everything make sense and-”

“Just stop” you yank your elbow away from his hand and walk away.

You sit at the edge of the pier which juts out to the side from the boardwalk. just as the sun begins to set behind the mountains. The night market bustles in the distance. Crowds and crowds of people and come and go. Yet you feel calm, just watching the waves ripple beneath your feet. You dip them in the cold water, shivers running through your body. You splash the water, trying to pass your time.

You would have gone to the woods but given everything that has happened in that forest, you’re not too fond of it at the moment. This time Jungkook won’t be there to protect you. He’s out with his friends somewhere. You didn’t bother to ask where, not that it is any of your business.

From the periphery of your vision you can see a group of guys jumping down on the wooden planks of the pier.

You feel disappointed because you won’t have the space to yourself anymore.

They’re laughing, and being boys in general which makes you roll your eyes.

They pass by behind you, being as loud as ever. You ignore their incessant and annoyingly loud voices as you focus on the sun which is still in the process of setting. You close your eyes, the wind blowing softly against your face, and through your hair.

“Y/n?”

You instantly whip around to come face to face with none other than the man who had made a home out of your thoughts.

“Jungkook? You’re here?” You question, using your hands to push yourself up.

“Careful” his hands come out as if to hold you in case you fall.

“It’s okay” you tuck strands of hair behind your ears. “I am fine”

“I was just with my friends” he turns behind, and points to them while they stand a respectful distance away. They wave at you and hesitantly you wave back. “Why are you here?”

“I needed to get out of the house. The woods aren’t exactly my favorite place right now. So I thought why not come here” you shrug.

He nods, sliding his fingers in his jean pockets, rocking back and forth on his toes. “So…”

“So…” you fold your arms across your chest out of sheer self-consciousness.

“Do you maybe want to-” he starts.

“Hey Jungkook” a random girl throws her arms around his shoulders from behind, chin resting on his shoulder.

You look between the two of them.

This must be her. She’s pretty

“I thought we were gonna go eat” she pouts at him questioningly.

He doesn’t look at her as he speaks. Instead he locks eyes with you. He stares at you— wordlessly, like he’s lost in you. “Yeah” his reply is intended for her.

“Well introduce me, won’t you?” she looks at him and then at you.

“This is…” he’s still looking at you and you only.

“I am Alix” she extends a hand, much too cheerfully.

“Y/n” you can only manage to press your lips to feign a smile.

“Ohhh” her mouth opens in realization and she looks at him, like she’s impressed.

This time he looks at her and nods.

“Well y/n, do you want to come to dinner with us?” she offers kindly. But to your ears it’s anything but.

“No. I am alright. But thank you” you look at her. “See you at home Jungkook”

“Just come” he says just as you’re about to turn around to leave.

“I have to do some stuff at home” you say listlessly. “I’ll see you tonight” you reply with a ghost of a smile.

Yet again you turn away from him, not even waiting for his response.

You walk all the way back home, thankful that the way back is quiet, and not many people are around. You take the road from the pier that merges into the street that leads to your house up the hill.

You kick your feet beneath you, sighing heavily every so often. A fluttery feeling intensifies in your stomach the closer you get to home. Your chest feels heavy, a dull ache coming on. Your breathing quickens pace, not so much from the effort of walking up the hill but the mental exhaustion that you’ve faced in the past few weeks.

Love fucking sucks.

Your thoughts are occupied by Jungkook and Jungkook only. Every thought begins and ends with him and soon enough your head is full of memories you spent with him-- good and bad. It’s like a movie playing in your head-- beginning with the first time you saw him after he came back, and just a few minutes ago to Alix and her perfectly pretty face. How could he not love her?

By the end of it, you’re positively bawling your eyes out. Tears upon tears cascade down your face, with no indication of stopping anytime soon. You wipe your nose with the back of your hand, sniffling. Your legs become heavy with the weight of carrying you up the hill. Your head hurts, and you’re sure you’ll faint if you don’t sit down soon.

You quietly continue to sob, head hung low as you reach the gate. You push it open. Your feet drag beneath you, a heavy tread leaving marks of soil from the walk up on the cemented pathway. You open the door to the house, only to hit your head on something.

“Ow” you mumble, rubbing the spot that’s starting to ache. It only makes you sob more. “What the hell...” you lament under your breath, beginning to cry with the force of someone writhing in pain on all fours. You fall on your knees, everything inside you giving up. You cry the way a child does-- hiccuping, heaving to catch your breath only to have it be drowned by another wave of painful sobs.

“Just stop” Jungkook’s voice cracks, as he falls to his knees in front of you too. “Stop doing this to yourself” he croaks.

“I don’t know how to” you strain.

“I can make it all go away y/n” his cheeks are stained with tears too. He gathers you in his arms just like he’s done before. He kisses the top of your head. “Just let me make it go away. Please”

You break the embrace to look up at him through tear soaked eye lashes. “You can’t” your voice quivers.

“If you just…” he stops to take a deep breath, arms loosely wrapped around your back. He’s defeated into silence by your cries.

“It hurts” you clutch the material of his shirt., tucking your chin into your neck “It hurts so so much”

“It’s you”

You don’t even hear him, as you hide your face behind your hands, your body shaking due to your forceful sobs.

“It’s you.” he says again. “Listen to me. For once. Please” he’s begging you at this point.

You uncover your face to look at him. “What?”

“It’s been you all along”

“Wh…” your mouth remains open as you gawk at him. You hastily wipe your face with your hands as if that will somehow help you make sense of it.

“It’s you” he says in a whisper. “It’s you” he looks into your eyes this time--really looks as he says it for the third time almost like he’s saying it as a mantra. “I love you”

As if on cue, you stop crying because his words sink in. You don’t just hear them, you understand them. You begin connecting the dots. “Holy shit” you look at him daze. “I never even gave you a chance to speak” you bemoan that fact.

A bittersweet chuckle softly crosses his lips. “You didn’t. If you had, you wouldn’t have tortured yourself like this. Couldn’t you see it?” he searches your eyes for an answer that will make sense to him.

“How could I have? You’re you and I am me-- clumsy and stupid. You acted like there was someone else this whole time” you rub your eyes to dry the tears away.

“You never gave me a chance to tell you. I tried so many times. That night in the woods when I said I feel what you feel, you misunderstood that as being part of my abilities as a werewolf. But that’s not true. I feel every emotion you feel and I feel it ten times more than you because I imprinted on you .Then I tried to tell you during our conversation in game room and you walked away”

“Then why didn’t you do anything? Why didn’t you just act on it? You should have stopped me”

“You know why” a slight frown adorns his forehead.

You gulp hard, realizing the depth of what you just said. An apology is just at the tip of your tongue. “I know I said I wouldn’t ask you to consider my feelings ever again. But Jungkook, I can’t. Being around you overwhelms me. All I want to do is be around you, have you in my sights and when you’re not I feel disappointed and sad. I miss you every single second of the day when you’re not there. ”

“I have seen the entirety of us y/n-- everything that was, is and all that is to come ”

“I’ve imagined a whole future with you too”

He doesn’t respond.

Your stomach feels tight, your chest feels like something is pressing on it as his silence continues. Your gaze doesn’t leave him for even a second. You feel like you’re naked, as if the whole of you is on display, vulnerable to the point where even a single look will be enough to make or break you.

“I am just asking you to love me” your soft voice doesn’t dampen the gravity of your words.

He scoffs. “That’s just it though. I don’t just love you. I am bound by you. I am bound to you for the rest of my existence. That’s far scarier than love”

“I don’t know how to reply to that. All I know is I am in love with you exactly the way you’re in love with me” you shift closer to him, locking your fingers in his. “Because I can’t deny you any more than you can deny me”

He looks down and plays with your fingers. “That’s true. But I haven’t stopped thinking about the night you got attacked. What would have happened if I wasn’t there? What would I have done with myself if something happened to you?” his words reflecting the guilt he’s been feeling.

“Quit blaming yourself” you chide him. “Anything can happen to me, or to you at any given time. So stop worrying about that and keep your promise of protecting me. It’s not like you can switch this off”

“Not any more than I can stop breathing” he replies.

“Then love me. It’s simple. Jungkook, we either do this, or we don’t” it’s not that you are giving him an ultimatum, but it’s a fact.

“You know as much as I do, that even if in some ridiculous world I wanted to say no, I couldn’t. So you don’t have to worry about me not loving you. Because that just isn’t possible. Not only because I chose you but because that’s just how it is”

“Then what are we doing here?”

“I already told you I love you. You know that I do”

“And that’s supposed to be it?” you raise your brows at him.

His lip quivers into a lopsided smile, the solemn mood beginning to shift. “Tell me what you want”

“Just kiss--”

His lips on yours quiet down your thoughts to nothing. Shivers cascade down your body in waves. He invades each of your senses. The fluttering in your stomach grows intense. His lips feel soft against your own.

Jungkook keeps his eyes slightly open, taking a guilty peek at your face. He still couldn’t imagine if this was a figment of his imagination, or if the universe had gifted him this moment just at the right time. But he felt thankful for it beyond words could express. Every breath he took smelled like you— like water lilies.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time.” he breathes heavily. He doesn’t even give you the chance to speak because he’s pressing his lips to yours once again— softly and gently. His hands run the sides of your body, the material of your shirt gathering together, exposing your skin.

He guides you up without breaking the kiss, pulling you in to erase every inch of space between your bodies. You can feel every contour of his body against your own. You hold him tight, trying to take in the feeling.

His hands slide under your thighs as he picks you up, you wrap your legs around his hips, as he takes you inside the house. He carries you as if you don’t weigh anything— through the house and up the stairs to his room.

“What” kiss. “About” kiss. “Your parents?”

“Not” kiss  “here” he mumbles between a kiss.

He kicks the door open and carries you in until your back hits a wall. He gently lets you down, till the tips of your toes are touching the floor. He breaks the kiss. “You know I won’t do anything you don’t want right?” his gaze, fixated on your eyes.

You nod, running your tongue over your lips and tasting him.”How could I not want this” you pull him by the nape of his neck, unable to bear even one second of distance. He happily obliges, melting into the kiss with a content sigh. It kind of feels like you’re drunk because there is a slight buzz and your mind feels hazy. You’re thoughtless at the moment, and your entire body is burning. Kissing him, touching him-- is all the intoxication you need to feel out of control. Neither your mind, nor your body is acting under your direction anymore

Your whole being is responding only to Jungkook. Every kiss, every soft touch, every caress, every stroke elicits a reaction from you.

“Tell me what you want, baby” he asks, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck and to your chest. “Tell me exactly what you want” his mouth parts against the skin of your neck as he bites down gently.

You can’t help the moan that passes your lips and fades into the air. “You”

He inhales sharply at your words as if that is enough to turn him on. He lifts his head up to look at you “You wanted me to love you right?” he pushes your thighs out by burying his leg between yours. He pushes his thigh against you exactly where you’re aching for him.

“Oh my god….” your voice fails you.

“I’ve thought of you so many nights, for so long” he pushes in more and you grind your hips against his thigh.

“I want more” you can’t help but mumble. “Please”

A corner of his lip raises in a smirk. “Your wish is my command” . He swipes his thumb against your clothed clit. “Is this what you want baby?”

You nod, a whimper crossing your lips as the sound of your heavy breaths fills the air.

You continue to rock your hips against his thigh, while he continues to rub circles on your clit. “Does that feel good?” he asks, but before you can even respond he’s shoving his tongue down your mouth through your parted lips.

You moan into him. eyes shutting tight at the fluttery sensation between your legs. You clutch the fabric of his shirt, unable to hold yourself up longer as you clench around nothing in particular. You feel the adrenaline in every part of your body-- in the pounding of your heart, in your breathless noises, in the way your body grows warmer by the second.

You open your eyes to look at him, cupping his face in your hands. But he’s already looking at you. His pupils are dilated, irises beginning to change colour from his chocolate brown to blue while he continues to kiss you. His hand stops moving against your clit, and he removes his thigh from between your legs. At the loss of friction you feel like a starved animal, needing more, and more, and more. You didn’t think you could ever feel this way, but he was making you abandon all of your inhibitions and want whatever he could give you. You didn’t know if you would ever feel satisfied after what you started.

But Jungkook knows exactly how to pleasure you and then some more as he picks you up and leads you to his bed where he lays you down. He hovers over you, palms pressed into the mattress on either side of you. He gulps.”Are you sure?”

You only nod.

He shifts down, unbuttoning your jeans, and sliding them out from under your legs. He throws them on the floor. He parts your legs, resting his upper body between your legs. He doesn’t waste any time, as he licks a strip on your clothed clit.

“O-oh- oh my….” your fingers curl around his hair, and you push his mouth flush against your core.

He moans against your flesh, laying kitten licks against the sensitive skin. The friction tenses the knot in your stomach even more. Just when you think there’s nothing more he could do, you feel your insides being stretched as he pushes a finger into you. Your back arches at the sensation. He buries his finger knuckle deep,curling it and inside you and hitting that sweet spot. Broken moans and gasps cross your mouth, while your toes curl from all the pleasure.

Seconds tick by and turn into minutes which turns into hours and just like that the night flies by. You don’t know how many times you come undone under him, above him. You stopped counting after the second time because you weren’t even in a state where you could think about thinking anything.

You lay under the sheets facing each other--limbs entangled and noses almost touching. Every few seconds the tip of his nose touches yours as he moves in to kiss you, but then he stops.

“Stop being a tease” you pout at him.

He laughs, showing his pearly whites. His eyes crinkle at the corners just like they do when he’s happy. He leans in, to place a peck on your lips. Then he shifts his head up to kiss your forehead. Then gently, he places a tender kiss at the tip of your nose. He pulls your hand into his as he brings it to his lips, laying down gentle kisses on each knuckle.

“Who taught you how to be romantic?” you tease

“I’ve always been romantic” his gaze locks with yours, a gentle smile coming onto his lips.

“By the way what did you talk to Jimin about that day?” a sudden curiosity shifts the subject.

A look of realization crosses his face “Ah” he says. “I told him about you”

“So that’s why you were pissed” you chuckle.

“Pissed?” his brows crinkle together.

“You were jealous of course. You looked like you were going to kill him” a corner of your mouth lifts into a smirk.

“No. I wasn’t. That’s childish stuff. I just thought he should know that at that time you were kind of taken. Not really but you know…”

You tap his nose. “If you say so” You trace the outline of his face with your fingers. “Are you happy?” you whisper.

“More than I can tell you. Are you?” he licks his lips as his eyes flicker to yours.

“Mhmm” you nod. “Happiest I have ever been I think”

“Good” he kisses the back of your hand. “That’s all I want for you baby”

“I can’t believe you’re mine” you look into his eyes-- finding yourself falling in love all at once.

“You better believe it” his lips turn up at the corners into a grin. “I don’t know how much humans mean it when they say ‘forever’. But let me tell you us werewolves tend to take the stuff pretty seriously.”

You chuckle silently, huffing through your nose. “Your point being?”

“You better believe I am yours, because you’re forever y/n. Until my last breath”

THANK YOU IF YOU READ THIS! REBLOG, COMMENT, LIKE! 

[lemondragon42-art]

Vampire AU notes

So I don’t have any more art of this particular AU just yet (I do have some for the other one I have but...we’ll see about that one.) But I did hear some interest in this AU and this is also my writing blog so...notes! And since you are the one who asked @aslightaddity 

Here we go! (Also this might be part one because I have a lot of them) Turnabout Vampire, The Vampiric Turnabout, or simply “The Vamp AU” is something that started from the idea “what if every prosecutor was a Vampire?” which I expanded into a full AU with lore that's sort of a melting pot of different vampire canons across media (such as The Witcher and Vampire the Masquerade). Under the cut because this will be quite long. This is also just the overall notes for the moment and I have more going to their powers and more lore related bits, asks are open if you want to hear more and I’ll definitely make another post! (Oh and Spoilers, for most of the games? Specifically Apollo Justice and DGS2?) 

 OVERALL NOTES 

- Set sometime after when Trials and Tribulations would have happened 

- But since Phoenix in this AU quit being a lawyer between when JFA ended and T&T began, the events of T&T outside of the flashback cases didn't happen. At least, not in the way they did in Canon.  Events in the first two games are also different, with Turnabout Goodbyes not happening at all. 

- Phoenix is a Private Investigator and a potential part time paranormal investigator in this AU after quitting due to reasons involving a case going wrong. Meaning that Phoenix was a lawyer for around two years, and a PI for about one.  

- Phoenix acts somewhere in-between Beanix and regular Phoenix in this AU.  

- Phoenix and Edgeworth don't meet in the courtroom in this AU. Miles has been kept under wraps and on a somewhat tight leash for the most part. Phoenix still becomes a lawyer because of a rumour that the "mysterious protégé” under Von Karma"

might

be his childhood best friend. He's never given up on the idea that Miles is alive. He just never meets him in the time he is a lawyer. But he continues because he finds that helping people to be a reward in itself. 

  - The main reason he became a PI after quitting is to do with the case that caused him to quite in the first place, the K-Y7 incident. Another part of him being an PI is so he can try to find Miles from a different angle. 

- In terms of Edgeworth, he was turned at 21 and has been a vampire for about 5 years. Before that, being raised by Von Karma after DL-6 does still happen. His relationship with Von Karma is different and has already made the steps of growth AA1 and 1-4 gave him on his own. He even sneaks out of the Von Karma mansion, which is how he runs into Phoenix randomly. Phoenix catches him drinking a guys blood in an alleyway .  

- Von Karma is much more...violent and angry in this AU. DL-6 turned out to be much more gruesome as both Gregory and Yanni were killed and he took Miles from the crime scene of DL-6 out of pure spite and malice in order to eventually turn his rival's son into a vampire.

He might also have something to do with Phoenix quitting.

As far as the general public knows, Miles Edgeworth has been missing for 15 years. All everyone knows is that there is a protégé under Von Karma, but his name and identity are secret. Until Phoenix runs into him. This is done by him being involved in closely guarded trials organized by Von Karma or by hiding his identity behind a mask ala the Masked Disciple. 

- Klavier, Sebastian and Blackquill are all their younger selves in this AU, having only recently been added to the Vampire prosecutor list. They hate it and bond over how much they hate it. Even Sebastian, who with the support of his two friends and eventually Edgeworth has already begun to break away from his father. Klavier and Sebastian knew each other and were good friends at the time they were turned. Being turned at recruited into the office at practically the same time means they are now almost inseparable. Simon, being one of the previous youngest members, was put in charge of the two. At first he was annoyed about being put in charge of two barely week old vampires, but has since become their older brother figure and mentor. They’re all besties. 

- Vampires (and by extension Hunters) exist in more places than just the legal system, its just the focus of this AU is the sector of those in the legal system. The Vampiric Prosecutor's office was started and continued by Klint Van Zieks then by Barok Van Zieks and continued from there. Moving from London to LA somewhere along the way but there is still a group in London. Of course, as secretive as the Vampires are, hunters tend to show up around them. There is a  current order of Defence attorneys who are hunters (which isn't every defence attorney to clarify) was originally started by none other than Gregory Edgeworth. But The Order (or at least, some in it such as Kristoph) have become more twisted and corrupt over time. As for what Vampires do outside of Prosecuting? Most things. A good portion of vampires are just. People in the wrong place in the wrong time who were turned by the select few who are definitely living up to the stereotypical evil nature of a Vampire.

 - Kristoph Gavin has his own secret group of Vampire hunters in the Order to wipe out the prosecutor "threat", including his brother. He recruits and takes under his wing a young Apollo Justice (15-16 years old at the time of the AU) as his apprentice and tasks him with hunting down Klavier. 

-Van Zieks is still very much alive in this AU, being the Elder Vampire who presides over the vampiric prosecutor's office. Old age has mellowed him out a bit but he's still Van Zieks. He does have a strong dislike for Von Karma and any other prosecutor who cares only for their perfect records rather than the law. Or generally wants to mess with humans.

- A Vampire's appearance and abilities slightly vary from person to person. Some look completely ordinary outside of minor differences such as unnatural eye colour, pale complexion and more pointed ears. Others take on a more monstrous form ranging from visible veins and claws to bat-like features. These tend to occur with the age and growth in power of a vampire, or when they are using their abilities. In terms of abilities, all vampires gain increased endurance, physical strength and speed and reduced aging. Some vampires can teleport, some can turn into a bat and/or mist, some have long claws or some connection to vampiric blood magic. Others can blend and meld into shadow or have a banshee (or black canary) like screech.

(THIS LAST ONE IS DGS2 SPOILERS)         - Kazuma is still alive, by that I mean in modern day. He technically did die on the Burya, or at least was very close to death. But through conspiracy (and them seeing an opportunity to add a new prosecutor to their ranks) they shipped him to VZ and turned him instead, using his supposed death as cover. This saved Kazuma's life, but also turned him into a vampire somewhat against his will. And so, he joined the ranks of the prosecutors first as the Masked Disciple. After the events of DGS2 died down he continued as a prosecutor but rebuilt his relationship with Ryunosuke. He also hates being a vampire because all of his friends have grown old and passed on without him while he's still alive.  -- That’s all for now, any questions or comments are greatly appreciated! And if you want to hear about my other...weirder AU that I love let me know. 

[merrock]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

face claim: Laura Harrier

full name: Adelaide Atkins Savoy

nickname(s): Addie, Ads

pronouns & gender: She/her, cis woman

sexuality: Pansexual

birth date: July 7th

birth place: Peachtree, Georgia

time in town: 9 years

housing: The Coast & Pier (she lives in a little and homey beach house)

occupation: Inn keeper @ gull’s landing

family: Younger sibling, surname Atkins (mid twenties)

personality: Without a doubt, the mom friend. Always carries medicine and candy in her purse and is always ready to tend to people’s needs, ready to do what it takes to make those around her smile. An artist at heart, Adelaide paints, sculpts and even makes some of her own clothes if she ever finds the time and inspiration strikes. A loving friend, sister and partner, loves unconditionally and strongly. A caring soul for those around her, from her sibling, the one person she cares the most about in the world to the wounded animals she sometimes houses, every human being is worth her time. However, she can be quite chameleonic, a mirrorball of sorts; whatever energy you bring into her life will be reflected back to you. can be quite deceiving and closed off, especially about her past life before her time in town. She is sharp, even though people don’t think she is because they write her off as a “southern belle” type, but what most people don’t know is she can be cunning whenever she sets her mind on it, she learned from a very young age how to take advantage of everything she had to get what she had her mind settled on.

BACKGROUND / BIO

Trigger warnings: Mentions of child neglect and arson.

Adelaide Atkins Savoy is the daughter of Edward Atkins, a salesman/conn man and Ann Savoy, a French teacher that came from a (somewhat) nobel family. The couple met in Peachtree, Georgia where Ann moved when she was twenty after meeting Edward in a vacation and not a year later, Adelaide was born. The family immediately moved back to France to be closer to the Savoy; time Edward took advantage of by making business with the nobel family. Their association worked for a while and the Atkins and the Savoys lived happily for five incredible years in Évian-les-Bains until, the Savoy patriarch, Ann’s father, discovered Edward had been stealing from him and decided to exile the Atkin-Savoys and send them to the United States. Not wanting to leave Ann and Adelaide uncared for, the Savoy patriarch bought the little family a wonderful and luxurious home in Peachtree and put it all on Adelaide’s name and even got Ann and Edward decent jobs to start off a new, accommodated life.

Adelaide’s childhood in Georgia was odd, to say the very least. Her parents still acted like they were sponsored by the Savoys (and with the housing/jobs Addie’s grandpa got them, there was no reason to doubt them) so they fit perfectly with Georgia’s finest, they were living a double life of sorts, socialites in debt who schemed their wealthiest friends without them knowing. Her parents promptly got Addie to work alongside them, either as a distraction or as an active asset in their plans and she couldn’t quite deny her skills to them alas, Addie did stuff she wasn’t proud of, illegal stuff she could get away with because no one suspected the little girl with the ponytails. Ann would dress Adelaide in the best clothes, they’d eat at the finer restaurants and lavish on the good life money could buy them, the Atkins family was thriving in America and, certainly, the spirits only elevated higher when Ann gave the family the greatest piece of news Adelaide had ever received: she was pregnant with their second child.

Ann and Edward were content with their little family for about four blissful years where the four of them truly acted like a loving family who had overcome the trials and tribulations of debt and financial instability. However once the family started to have financial problems once again (unbeknownst to all their high society friends, of course), Adelaide and her young sibling were left to their own devices; leaving a thirteen years old Addie to raise her little sibling and the two formed an unbreakable bond very quickly. Ann noticed this and used their bond to convince Adelaide to get back into the business of conning and scamming, claiming all they did was to grant the youngest of the two siblings a better future than their own and wanting nothing but the best for her sibling (and being brainwashed from a very young age into thinking what her parents did wasn’t as bad as it truly was), Adelaide obliged.

Addie’s teenage years were even odder than her childhood. Although learned many skills during her time helping her parents to scam people: pick locking, html, pickpocketing, boxing, sewing (which served the young woman well when her parents decided to stop buying their kids new clothes when needed claiming they didn’t have enough money to waste on clothes for their kids and she started making them for the two of them instead), whatever her parents required of her and whatever she could learn to make sure her sibling was well taken care of, she’d learn. The next years were difficult for the Atkin siblings, to say the least. The worst instance of their parents neglecting both Addie and Theodore happened right after Teddy turned seven. Their friends and all the high end society in Georgia found out about how the couple had played a bunch of them in some business that went awry for everyone involved except Ann and Edward and the Atkins family lost all respect within the community which costed them their jobs and status, so they quickly started to go in debt with banks and strangers to try to live the life Ann and Edward were so used to. By this time, the matrimony had mostly forgotten their kids to the point where they stopped providing for them unless they needed Adelaide for some job, so it was all Addie’s responsibility to not only care for her sibling but her parents somehow. She started working (an honest job) when she was fifteen and never truly stopped. Adelaide’s normal day would be divided between high school, taking care of her sibling and working to bring food to the table.

When Addie was seventeen, a little less than a year before graduating from high school and while all rest of her classmates were too preoccupied thinking of summer jobs, college applications and prom, Adelaide’s scheming family forced a secret down her throat: they were in debt, about to pronounce themselves bankrupt and needed to act quick and play their last viable card, insurance fraud and the quickest, easiest way to do that was to burn their house down and use the insurance money to pay off their debts. For weeks, Addie circumnavigated her viable options to stop her parents’ scheme, finding every outcome to be disastrous for all parts involved at best and, in all outcomes, there was the small chance of losing her sibling, something she couldn’t allow herself to do and alas, she followed along with her parents’ plan, not without saving a few vital items on a friend’s house and various places around town in complete secrecy. When the day arrived, her parents only gave her a 24 hours warning before destroying everything Adelaide had ever known and exactly at 2:45 a.m on a March night, Adelaide took her sibling with her after watching their childhood home burn down and decided to leave Peachtree to never look back with the help of her closest friend. Within a couple of days, the two Atkins siblings were situated in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Her sibling lost only a couple of days of school while Addie never went back again, as she had to work to sustain herself and the little one.

They remained in Chattanooga for a little less than two years where Adelaide managed to get up to three jobs to meet ends and make sure her baby sibling had everything he needed in order to prosper and thrive and although the Atkins siblings were safe and perhaps the happiest they had ever been; Adelaide knew it was only a matter of time before her parents decided to look for them and alas, she decided the best she could do was always be a step ahead, change locations. In the span of two years, the Atkins moved to eight different cities until, after turning 20, a friend convinced Addie to give her testimony (and all the proof she had gathered that backed up the claim that the fire had been premeditated) and she put her parents in jail for arson and child neglect and helped the authorities form a case against them on insurance fraud, gaining her sibling’s full custody and whatever money was left from the insurance payment and they decided to move to New Orleans, where they remained from three years. After working as a waitress/bartender/cook/whatever she could get to make a living for her and her sibling, Addie got a letter from the Savoy family one day with the news that their grandfather (the same one that had bought their home in Georgia) had passed away and had left behind a trust fund for her, enough money for the two siblings to live off comfortably for the rest of their lives. 

When Adelaide turned 24, the Atkins siblings decided it was the moment to look for a new home, a more permanent one. Both of them decided in Merrock, Maine when they saw a little and charming beach home on an ad and fell in love with it; a week later they were already moved in. The two adapted to Merrock pretty quickly, finding the peaceful life they always craved. The eldest found a job in Gull’s Landing as a maid, slowly climbing up the hierarchy until she finally became the keeper of the Inn.

Cage Newman waltzed into Adelaide’s life like a typhoon at full force a few years into moving to town; she found herself falling in love almost instantly and the couple married not long after. However, the marriage didn’t last long— irreconcilable differences were cited on the divorce papers; leaving Addie heartbroken. And yet, she persevered, continued now that her younger sibling was out of the house continuing their education, she decided to do the same; taking courses and test to finally graduate from high school after years of dragging her past along. Now, she is taking night classes in Business, hoping to one day open her very own Inn.

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

Ok, here's how I'd set up an actual BNHA Elder Scrolls crossover in case I ever get around to write it:

1) While he's, like, 4 years old in his living room watching TV, Izuku's Quirk activates. It will not get an actual official name but we can call it Planeswalker Spark ala MTG. Basically kid can tear a hole through reality and launch himself into a different plane of existence, which is what Izuku accidentally does here.

2) It's a slow process tho, which gives Inko plenty of time to rush in from where she was to tackle her son away from the sudden green glow brightly shining around him, a impulse decision based on her Instinct to protect him at all costs, which only ends up with both of them getting sent to Skyrim.

3) Izuku incidentally also happens to be a Shezzarine. His quirk is a mutation from her mom's side, whose Quirks usually affect space in some way, and is completely unrelated to this. Anyway, he and Inko are on the cart to Helgen now, usual shit, The plot of Modded Skyrim takes places, with Inko taking on the brunt of the adventure and trying to shelter Dragonborn Izuku from his destiny.

4) After many trials and tribulations, 2 DLCs, 4 guilds, 1 Dragon War, several adopted orphans as well as so many quest mods it's unreal, Lucien Flavius and several members of the College of Winterhold manages to reverse engineer Izuku's quirk, and gives him an enchanted ring to better control it. Kid can now safely use it without risking ending up somewhere completely different from his planned location. Izuku is now 14 years old. He also had to do terrible things no matter how much his mother tried to shelter him and take the brunt of the war crimes. This leads to PTSD obviously, but also to a now blue and orange morality system, chief among them his general disregard with killing or not killing someone.

5) Getting back to 10 years prior, Izuku's Quirk causes a ripple in the Tachion Field surrounding earth, which is felt on I-Island. David Shield spends the remaining 10 years monitoring and trying to better understand the phenomena, since it could be revolutionary in the till then hypothetical field of time and space travel. When Izuku activates his quirk back 10 years later, I-Island has by then built a teleportation device, hijacking Izuku's trip and sending him to I-Island.

6) Meanwhile on a familiar junkyard, Hatsume Mei's scrappy device built via salvaged parts, spit and lots of duct tape comes to life on her back, individuating a sudden tear in the now constantly decaying Tachion Field. It's happening in the middle of the ocean tho, so she can't really deal with it now.

7) Anyway, David Shield needs Izuku at hand for his Quirk, but Izuku and his mom came back to Japan trying to live a double life since by then most of their friends and family are in Tamriel. Except, both of them have been declared dead for years, and Hisashi, the bitch, ran away with the insurance money, so they don't have a life to return to. David Shield can't let them get back to Tamriel tho, again, he needs Izuku on planet for his new research, bit also realizes that if he actually wants to leave he can't really stop him, except Izuku, you know, still wants to become a hero, just like his mom is in Skyrim. So they reach a compromise, he will try to get into UA, and will take a new identity as Mikumo Akatani, usual excuses to have Izuku get into 1-A you know?

8) Izuku can't really make his Quirk public tho. So, after forging his and his mother identities as a foreign dignitary from the states and her son, and his Quirk is listed as "Cataclysm" (The last perk in the destruction skill tree for a Fire (and Earth) mage in the Ordinator Mod). He is after all a member of the college of Winterhold, trained under the Great and Powerful Destruction Magician Uncle J'Zargo the Magnificent himself, of course he knows plenty of spells. However, he can't really explain all of them as one Quirk, or better yet, he can, it would just get really complicated, so he just goes "My mom can move things with her mind, my... Father, ugh, can blow fire from his mouth, obviously my Quirk is being able to control flames with my mind, usually from my hands but some times also via vocalisation."

9) Which means Izuku has to really contain what shit he can do. It's a very superman like situation, since he needs to remain in control at all times and also not slip up and pull spells he couldn't explain as his "fire" quirk, least people start asking questions. Some people however notice.

10) Tsuyu and Todoroki start an unofficial conspiracy theorist fan club over it.

Tsuyu was there with him at the USJ, where in his sudden hyperfocused competence over the crisis situation made her realize A) This is not the first time this boy has almost died in his life and B) Back in the water at the USJ, she could swear she saw his hands shining as some strange light washed over him, and she could swear he could swim as fast as her back then, and for such long periods of time she could swear he could breath underwater. That makes it really suspicious.

Todoroki sees another kid with a powerful fire quirk but also the signs of a hard life and who seems to not like his father, and instantly goes "Oh... same hat." So his conspiracy is that Izuku is actually Endeavour Bastard Son he had after a premarital affair during a visit to the states 14 years prior, and he has a corkboard to prove it. He also realizes that he's trying to contain his power just like he is, which makes him believe he too must have done a pledge just like him.

11) Shinso beats Bakugou on the first match of the tournament. Doesn't really matter to the overall crossover I just wanted to point this out.

12) Anyway, this explodes during the Sports Festival. It's Todoroki Vs Midoriya, and 1) everyone is comparing the two due to similar Quirks, which Izuku finds really unfair to both of them, 2) Todoroki is being a stubborn ass with his quirk and 3) Izuku can't really talk now l, can't he? That would make him an hypocrite, and he might be a Mage, an Honorary member of the Explorer Guild, a Dragonborn and also a Bard College Student for some reason, but he's not a hypocrite, so he just up and SNAPS because hey, maybe Todoroki will actually unleash his full potential if someone else does it first too.

13) So, Izuku Midoriya, on national television, starts blasting. Armour Spells, Ice Spells, Lightning Spells, Mind Spells, Water, Wind, Air, Poison, turns himself invisible, summons a Dremora Champion, shouts with the power of the souls of the Dragons his mother slew, Todoroki actually has to start using his fire but is mostly out of sheer survival now ("There is always a bigger fish out there, and one day you deciding not to use your full power just because of a stupid pledge will get someone killed. Trust me, I know. You better start realizing that now Todoroki"), and is still a close match because Izukus spells all start from his hands or mouth after all, and Todoroki has now something to prove more than ever.

14) Without his robes on tho, Izuku Magicka is depleted in the end, ending up in a tie as the two collapse from exhaustion. Rather than an arm wrestling match this time, Izuku is disqualified due to the sudden mutation of his Quirk. He's fine with it and probably expected it, bit this still bums Todoroki out, as well as all of his classmates and friends.

15) After the Festival there are 4 leading theories on Izuku now:

A) All Might, discovering via Tsukuachi that Izuku's identity is fake, as well that he looks a bit like a missing case kid from 10 years ago, AND knowing that AFO is back due to the USJ... Believes Izuku is a mole, and is working, willingly or unwillingly, for AFO after he was implanted with all those Quirks. He is now incredibly suspicious of him, and it kind of shows. Nighteye is on the same page despite not having talked to the man in years, and is subtly trying to have Mirio scout out the kid to see if he's a threat. Mirio is too much of a Golden Retriever to even realize what has been asked of him tho, and just think Nighteye wants him to befriend another kid with a promising Quirk.

B) Todoroki now knows the truth. Izuku is Monoma's long lost twin brother. His Quirk allows him to copy the Quirks of those around him (Iron Skin and Stone Skin would be Tetsu Tetsu and Kirishima Quirks after all, Invisibility is Hakagure, Fire and Ice are either his or Bakugou's, Lightning is Kirishima, and Tsuyu mentioned how he could swim and breath underwater while near her, meaning he was using her Quirk). He has connected the dots.

C) AFO still remembers his brother's lover, the stories she came up with, the long periods of times she was gone, only to return with a haunted look in her eyes... The powers she hid from him, thinking he wouldn't notice, the way she fled right after his brother lay lifeless on the ground, almost disappearing into thin air with his broken body... The family his brother hid so well from him, as if they were in another world all together... They never told him, but he knew, he knew she had some sort of Quirk, one that had been then inherited by this new Mikumo Akatani, so similar to HIM yet so different, back from the other world in revenge for his ancestor.

He has to capture that kid. He's family after all, and his quirk belongs to him, it's his by right as his brother's keeper. And with it, he will be able to extend his reach to worlds beyond his own.

D) the official version, the one David Shield puts out, is that Izuku's Quirk evolved unexpectedly due to the new environment he was in, mentioning it as a precursor of Quirk Singularity.

E) The only one who actually got it is Hatsume. She can tell Izuku is the source of the Tachion Spikes and subsequent decays as he "returns home" in Skyrim when leaving school, so she perfectly understands that he's a powerful warlock from across dimension who had come here with the power of science and unholy magic to infiltrate society posing as a hero. Obviously, she's going to help him do it becoming his evil vizier and grand artificer of course. Worst case scenario, she can now market the shit out of him as a hero using her babies, best one, he succeeds and she gets to rule Australia out of their "Deal." I say "Deal" because Izuku isn't even sure he got half of what she was saying, but she seems nice and if Skyrim taught him anything is that you should treasure everyone willing to be your friend, so they hang out together, scheming and plotting without even realising it.

Tsuyu however pretty much got the gist of what Hatsume was saying (it was a crowded lunch break after all) and while she does know Izuku doesn't seem the type of the interdimensional conqueror, she still decides to call dibs on North America in exchange of becoming his Grand Admiral.

And Who knows, maybe he'll end up starting an actual line of Dragonborn Emperors there too.

Anyway that's the rough draft.

[7r0773r]

The Wretched of the Earth by Frantz Fanon, translated by Richard Philcox

The colonized world is a world divided in two. The dividing line, the border, is represented by the barracks and the police stations. In the colonies, the official, legitimate agent, the spokesperson for the colonizer and the regime of oppression, is the police officer or the soldier. In capitalist societies, education, whether secular or religious, the teaching of moral reflexes handed down from father to son, the exemplary integrity of workers decorated after fifty years of loyal and faithful service, the fostering of love for harmony and wisdom, those aesthetic forms of respect for the status quo, instill in the exploited a mood of submission and inhibition which considerably eases the task of the agents of law and order. In capitalist countries a multitude of sermonizers, counselors, and “confusion-mongers” intervene between the exploited and the authorities. In colonial regions, however, the proximity and frequent, direct intervention by the police and the military ensure the colonized are kept under close scrutiny, and contained by rifle butts and napalm. We have seen how the government’s agent uses a language of pure violence. The agent does not alleviate oppression or mask domination. He displays and demonstrates them with the clear conscience of the law enforcer, and brings violence into the homes and  minds of the colonized subject. (On Violence, pp. 3-4)

***

A world compartmentalized, Manichaean and petrified, a world of statues: the statue of the general who led the conquest, the statue of the engineer who built the bridge. A world cocksure of itself, crushing with its stoniness the backbones of those scarred by the whip. That is the colonial world. The colonial subject is a man penned in; apartheid is but one method of compartmentalizing the colonial world. The first thing the colonial subject learns is to remain in his place and not overstep its limits. (On Violence, p. 15)

***

The colonized intellectual has invested his aggression in his barely veiled wish to be assimilated to the colonizer’s world. He has placed his aggression at the service of his own interests, his interests as an individual. The result is the ready emergence of a kind of class of individually liberated slaves, of freed slaves. The intellectual calls for ways of freeing more and more slaves and ways of organizing a genuine class of the emancipated. The masses, however, have no intention of looking on as the chances of individual success improve. What they demand is not the status of the colonist, but his place. In their immense majority the colonized want the colonist’s farm. There is no question for them of competing with the colonist. They want to take his place. (On Violence, pp. 22-23)

***

The people discover that the iniquitous phenomenon of exploitation can assume a black or Arab face. They cry treason, but in fact the treason is not national but social, and they need to be taught to cry thief. (Grandeur and Weakness of Spontaneity, p. 94)

***

In these poor, underdeveloped countries where, according to the rule, enormous wealth rubs shoulders with abject poverty, the army and the police force form the pillars of the regime; both of which, in accordance with another rule, are advised by foreign experts. The strength of this police force and the power of this army are proportional to the marasmus that afflicts the rest of the nation. The national bourgeoisie sells itself increasingly openly to the major foreign companies. Foreigners grab concessions through kickbacks, scandals abound, ministers get rich, their wives become floozies, members of the legislature line their pockets, and everybody, down to police officers and customs officials, joins hands in this huge caravan of corruption. (The Trials and Tribulations of National Consciousness, p. 117)

***

A country which really wants to answer to history, which wants to develop its towns and the minds of its inhabitants, must possess a genuine party. The party is not an instrument in the hands of the government. Very much to the contrary, the party is an instrument in the hands of the people. It is the party which decides on the policy enacted by the government. The party is not and never should be merely a political bureau where all the members of government and dignitaries of the regime feel free to congregate. Alas all too often it is the party which makes up the entire political bureau and its members reside permanently in the capital. In an underdeveloped country the leading party members should flee the capital like the plague. With the exception of a few, they should reside in the rural areas. Centralizing everything in the capital should be avoided. No administrative pretext can justify the bustle of the capital already overpopulated and overdeveloped compared with nine tenths of the territory. The party must be decentralized to the limit. This is the only way to revive regions that are dead, the regions that have not yet woken up to life. (The Trials and Tribulations of National Consciousness, pp. 127-28)

***

But can we escape vertigo? Who dares claim that vertigo does ot prey on every life? (Colonial War and Mental Disorders, p. 185)

***

Comrades, have we nothing else to do but create a third Europe? The West saw itself on a spiritual adventure. It is in the name of the Spirit, meaning the spirit of Europe, that Europe justified its crimes and legitimized the slavery in which it held four fifths of humanity.

Yes, the European spirit is built on strange foundations. The whole of European thought developed in places that were increasingly arid and increasingly inaccessible. Consequently, it was natural that the chances of encountering man became less and less frequent.

A permanent dialogue with itself, an increasingly obnoxious narcissism inevitably paved the way for a virtual delirium where intellectual thought turns into agony since the reality of man as a living, working, self-made being is replaced by words, an assemblage of words and the tensions generated by their meanings. There were Europeans, however, who urged the European workers to smash this narcissism and break with this denial of reality.

Generally speaking, the European workers did not respond to the call. The fact was that the workers believed they too were part of the prodigious adventure of the European spirit.

All the elements for a solution to the major problems of humanity existed at one time or another in European thought. But the Europeans did not act on the mission that was designated them and which consisted of virulently pondering these elements, modifying their configuration, their being, of changing them and finally taking the problem of man to an infinitely higher plane.

Today we are witnessing a stasis of Europe. Comrades, let us flee this stagnation where dialectics has gradually turned into a logic of the status quo. Let us reexamine the question of man. Let us reexamine the question of cerebral reality, the brain mass of humanity in its entirety whose affinities must be increased, whose connections must be diversified and whose communications must be humanized again.

Come brothers, we have far too much work on our hands to revel in outmoded games. Europe has done what it had to do and all things considered, it has done a good job; let us stop accusing it, but let us say to it firmly it must stop putting on such a show. We no longer have reason to fear it, let us stop then envying it. 

The Third World is today facing Europe as one colossal mass whose project must be to try and solve the problems this Europe was incapable of finding the answers to. 

But what matters now is not a question of profitability, not a question of increased productivity, not a question of production rates. No, it is not a question of back to nature. It is the very basic question of not dragging man in directions which mutilate him, of not imposing on his brain tempos that rapidly obliterate and unhinge it. The notion of catching up must not be used as a pretext to brutalize man, to tear him from himself and his inner consciousness, to break him, to kill him. 

No, we do not want to catch up with anyone. But what we want is to walk in the company of man, every man, night and day, for all times. It is not a question of stringing the caravan out where groups are spaced so far apart they cannot see the one in front, and men who no longer recognize each other, meet less and less and talk to each other less and less.

The Third World must start over a new history of man which takes account of not only the occasional prodigious theses maintained by Europe but also its crimes, the most heinous of which have been committed at the very heart of man, the pathological dismembering of his functions and the erosion of his unity, and in the context of the community, the fracture, the stratification and the bloody tensions fed by class, and finally, on the immense scale of humanity, the racial hatred, slavery, exploitation and, above all, the bloodless genocide whereby one and a half billion men have been written off. (Conclusion, pp. 237-38)

[buns-with-a-book]

The Most Expected Thing

Part of a shortfic challenge list posted by ao3commentoftheday, the third of five fics.

Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV/Final Fantasy Online Characters: F!Viera!Warrior of Light, Lyse Hext, Thancred Waters, Alphinaud Leveilleur, Y’shtola Rhul, Warriors of Light (F!Hyur!Warrior of Light, M!Elezen!Warrior of Light, F!Elezen!Warrior of Light, M!Miqo’te!Warrior of Light), Aymeric de Borel (mentioned) Tags: @nimnox

Summary: On the eve of Ala Mhigo’s long-awaited freedom, the Scions of the Seventh Dawn and the Crystal Keepers enjoy a well-deserved respite from the battles they endured.

Rhalgr’s Reach was, surprisingly, mostly quiet for the first night of the freed Ala Mhigo. Most of the Resistance was in the Lochs, either celebrating the night away in the newly christened capital of Ala Mhigo or searching for any Garlean stragglers.

But, in the leader’s tent, all was not so quiet.

Lily looked around the brightly colored tent, smiling softly as the Scions of the Seventh Dawn and the Crystal Keepers were happily in conversation about the trials and tribulations they had gone through, what good memories they could share about the war for Ala Mhigan and Doman independence. Those that weren’t so inclined to speak kept themselves busy by other means, such as the elezen bard Virberos Autumnstar, who was playing softly on a harp. As of the moment, Ophelia held the metaphorical stage, telling the Scions and the Keepers about her adventures in the Azim Steppe, mostly with finding out about her Au Ra heritage and how she promptly got into a martial match with an Au Ra named Magnai about the whole thing.

“He said that, if I wasn’t a half-breed, he could’ve entertained the possibility of me being his soulmate. I said ‘Maybe you should stop proposing to every woman who kicks your ass!’ You should’ve seen the look on his face!” Ophelia punched her hand. “And for that, he charged himself right into a jug of water!”

“I’m surprised you weren’t kicked out for that.” Alphinaud said, eyes wide.

“Eh, this was after I proved myself strong enough to be ‘a warrior of the Steppe’, nevermind the fact that I only went through that trial just to get more information about my dad and uncle’s heritage.” Ophelia shrugged. “But I figured out some stuff about myself along the way.” She lifted up her sleeve, revealing pitch-black scales, similar to the Au Ra. “Apparently, my dad and uncle’s ancestors came from the same tribe Magnai leads today; the Oronir. Not that I’m yearning for a run for his position...but I’m not going to say no to kicking his ass again. That was fun!”

“Reckless as usual…” Y’shtola sighed.

“But I looked cool!” Ophelia pointed out. “You’re starting to sound like Master Matoya.” That comment came with an even heavier sigh.

“Now now, let’s not tease the only one who can heal you in the field of combat.” Came the gentle chiding of the Miqo’te samurai, Khona’to Akhabila. One of the oldest in terms of age, his aged amber eyes peered at the young red mage with amusement. “I am verrry certain that Lady Y'shtola would leave you without healing for that.”

“Aw, come oon.” Ophelia pouted. “You’re starting to sound like my dad.”

“That’s because he is.” Thancred cheekily pointed out. “A father, I mean.” He turned to Khona’to. “You went out adventuring well after your own kids were grown.”

“Yes. I believe the Hyurs called it wanderrrlust.” Khona’to smiled. “Whatever you wish to call it, it led me here. And I could not be happier to share this victorrry with all of you.”

“You’re going to make me blush!” Lyse giggled. Lily glanced over to her, noticing the pugilist's face was already flushed from the alcohol. It seemed that making her blush was already done. Lyse glanced over to the mage before her blue eyes glanced down to her hands. “I was wondering something, actually. You got a new ring on and I’ve never seen it before. Some sort of good luck charm?” She asked. Lily glanced at the ring, the signet ring of House de Borel, before smiling.

“Something to that effect.” She turned to the Scions and the Keepers, fully aware that their attention was on her. “I’m pleased to announce that I’m engaged to Ser Aymeric.” A quiet fell in the room for a moment before Lily noticed their faces weren’t exactly as surprised as she expected.

“Finally.” Thancred broke the silence with an exasperated (but still playful) sigh. Lily whipped her gaze to him.

“What do you mean finally!?” Lily demanded, earning laughter from the others. “I thought it’d be more...surprising, you know! Not every woman gets to claim they’re engaged to a leader of a city state-”

“That’s true, unless you’re Ser Aymeric. Do you remember what I told you, before the grand melee?” Thancred asked.

“That one would think a politician more practiced at concealing his emotion?” She paused. “No, a bit before that-”

“That it was love.” Thancred finished her sentence. Lily frowned at him.

“Ok, now you’re just cheating.” The rogue held up his hands.

“Well.” A new voice spoke up. Lily glanced over, watching as the elezen dancer Syldove Wavesinger stepped forth. “Regardless of how obvious the blooming romance was, a new engagement is something to be celebrated.” She settled down on the floor, pushing back her striking red hair. “A word of advice, Lily: Cherish every moment you have with him. It’ll be those memories that’ll keep you moving even in the darkest hour.”

“...mildly cryptic, as usual.” Alphinaud commented. Syldove shrugged.

“I’m saying this from experience, Alphie. All of us are deeply entwined with the fate of Eorzea and the star we all live on.” Syldove pointed out. “There’s work to do beyond freeing Ala Mhigo and Doma. Who knows where it’ll take us?”

“Hopefully to a place where you can stop being cryptic.” Virberos spoke up. “We should enjoy the night while we can, not worry over future trials and toils.” Syldove scowled at him before sighing.

“Undone by a bard, woe is me.” With that, merriment began to fill the air once more. Lily chuckled and leaned back against a plush pillow, her gaze settling on the signet ring as Syldove recounted her experiences in Doma.

[winterisakiller]

Get Better - Chapter One

Title: Get Better

Chapter: 1/18

Character: Tom Hiddleston/Cath Richardson (OFC)

Genre: Romance

Rating: Teen

Summary:  Love. Companionship. Family. These are all of the things Tom Hiddleston desperately wanted. But his life and his choices left that a distant and unlikely prospect. So he did his best to move on and live his life as is. When an opportunity to return to the theater arises, he jumps at the chance and along the way finds that maybe, just maybe, those distant and unlikely prospects are closer than he could have imagined. Sequel to Brave Face.

Authors Notes/Warnings: So as I was writing Brave Face I knew that Tom’s story wasn’t over, even if that particular part of it was. And while I knew, more or less, what the overall ending to the story would be, its taken me a while to figure out the time in between.  Thanks to @redfoxwritesstuff for letting me continually throw ideas off and at you. I still can’t fathom why you put up with it, but I am eternally grateful you do. This story will update on Thursdays.

Tag list: @tinchentitri @theheartofpenelope @nonsensicalobsessions @blacksuitofdoom @noplacelikehome77 @messy-insomniac-bookgirl @wolfsmom1 @just-the-hiddles @theoneanna

CHAPTER ONE

 The breeze ruffling through his hair as he walked down the busy London pavements was wonderfully cool; something Tom Hiddleston was infinitely grateful for. While it wasn’t a particularly scorching day for mid-August by any standard, it was still quite warm for London and any relief at all was welcome. As he meandered, Tom found himself watching the people around him as they passed. Most paid him little mind or, if they did, only muttered quietly under their breath but made no effort to approach him. It was a marked difference from the previous few years, and a welcomed one. True, there was still the occasional paparazzo or bold fan, but it was nothing like it had been in recent years. And he was grateful for the relative anonymity.  

 He’d been surprised, but happy, when Ben had called out of the blue the week before, trying to arrange a time for the two of them to get together and ‘catch up’. Which, as Tom had come to learn, meant Ben had wanted nothing more than to grill him about his life and then try to fix it. Tom adored the man but he was a mother hen in the absolute worst way; settling down and having children only made it worse. It had been several months since they’d had the chance to truly sit and reconnect in a non-work related setting and, though he knew it would probably regret giving Ben the platform in which to undertake said interrogation, Tom was quick to agree. Finding the time however, took a fair bit of maneuvering.

 Tom slowed his pace as the familiar house came into view. He smiled as he buzzed the gate, noting how a small cash of toys including a red plastic tricycle had started to take over the front garden. It was a comforting and domestic sign and it fit his friend’s life to a tee. Ben’s garbled voice echoed from the small speaker and a moment later the gate clicked open. Tom quickly made his way up the walk and towards the opened front door where Ben now stood, his eldest clinging to his leg, small blonde head peeking out from behind the tall form of his father.

 For a moment Tom was struck dumb by the sight.  He could so clearly remember the utter joy and disbelief in Ben’s voice when he called to announce that Sophie had given birth. “A boy, Tom. I have a son.” It was nearly impossible to reconcile the tiny infant that had been placed in his arms a few days after that call with the small boy before him. He would be three now. Three? How had three years passed already?

 Crouching down on his heels, Tom smiled at the boy now at eye level. “Hello there, little man. You’ve grown quite a bit haven’t you?”

 The boy blinked at Tom and then up at his father before running back into the house. Ben sighed and shook his head. “Sorry. He’s been going through this shy phase as of late. Usually, you can’t get him to stop wanting to say ‘hello’ to everyone.”

 Tom shrugged and pushed himself back up right, “My niece went through something similar. I get it.” He took Ben’s outstretched hand and pulled him into a one armed hug. “It’s good to see you, mate. How have you been?”

 Ben chuckled as he closed the door and led them towards the living room. “Can’t complain overly much. I’ve got a fair bit of free time before I start filming so I’m trying to enjoy as much time as I can here with this lot.”

 A loud cry echoed from the living room as they approached and moments later a slightly harried Sophie emerged carrying her squirming and fussy youngest son. She smiled brightly as she caught sight of Tom. “Well hello stranger!”

 Tom’s face broke into an echoing smile and he moved to pull Sophie into a brief embrace, kissing her softly on the cheek. “Hello you. And don’t tell me this is…” Tom paused, eyes widening, as Sophie nodded. “He can’t be this big already!”

 Both Sophie and Ben laughed at this. “He’s almost a year now. Time certainly seems to fly,” she sighed before turning to look at her husband. “Alright, I’m off. You boys have fun and remember if you need a break, you’re more than welcome to join me and our little terrors at the park.”

 Balancing her youngest son against one hip, bending down to take her eldest son’s hand as he materialized at her side at the word ‘park’, which he then repeated loudly before launching into an explosion of words about the swings and the slide and all the activities he wanted to do. Sophie smiled indulgently at him and headed towards the front door, pausing to kiss Ben as she did so. Tom saw her grab a bag that had been left by the door, something he’d missed on his own way inside, and in a flurry of noise disappear from the house.

 “Ah…Silence,” Ben exhaled with a quiet laugh, turning towards Tom. “I love them dearly, honestly I do. But I do admit that there are times I miss silence.”

 “Now that I can believe,” Tom agreed with a smirk “And I’ve often heard my sisters’ make very similar remarks...” Causing both men to laugh and shake their heads. After several moments silence, he clapped his hands together. “So I do believe I was promised lunch…”

 Which earned him an exaggerated eye roll. “I see how it is, Hiddleston. And I must say I am genuinely hurt to hear that my company ranks beneath food for you. If only your fans could see you now; gentleman, my left foot.”

 Tom only shrugged in response. “I’m a man of simple needs.”

 Lunch was a causal affair; Ben had thrown together a handful of sandwiches and various sides under the watchful eyes of his wife and the greedy hands of his eldest. They sat at the scarred wooden table in the kitchen and traded stories, catching up on the last few months of each other’s lives. Tom found himself relaxed and content in Ben’s company. They so rarely got the chance to do such things; work and the everyday happenings of life taking up so much of their time.

 Ben rambled in his usual fashion about his latest filming experience and the trials and tribulations of being a father to two young boys. He joked about the latest project he was in talks for and the drawing his eldest had made him, “He swears up and down it’s a cat, but for the life of me I cannot see it.”

 The drawing in question hung on the fridge held up with two cheery yellow magnets. And no matter how Tom squinted at it, he couldn’t make out what the squiggly blob was either and told him so. Ben laughed and shook his head.

 “So what’s new in the life of the infamous Tom Hiddleston?” Ben inquired with a waggle of his eyebrows.

 Tom leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms over his head. “I’ve got a few conventions scheduled in the States,” he paused and rubbed his over his beard in thought. “And a couple fun one off theater activities…And potentially a play if things continue to fall into place. So quite a bit actually. Which is nice. I’ve been starting to get rather antsy of late.”

 Ben nodded. “Now that I can understand all too well.” He leaned forward and smiled at Tom in the way that always meant trouble. “And anything happening in the non-working vein, my friend?” And there it was, the long awaited subtle-not-so-subtle pry into his personal life. He’d known it was coming. It always did. But he’d remained ever hopeful Ben would let it slide. Just once. Alas, today was not to be that day.

 “You’re lack of subtlety never ceases to astound me,” Tom chuckled, resting his elbows on the table. Ben merely shrugged and leaned back, shooting Tom a knowing look. They sat in silence for several moments before Tom let out a resigned sigh and admitted, “Nothing of note.”

 He had been on a few one off dates and more than a few ‘my friend knows this wonderful girl I think you’d really get on with’. They were, as a rule of thumb, lovely people and quite a few Tom had genuinely liked, but in the end nothing seemed to stick. It had been disheartening, but not at all surprising. His life, even now when things had calmed significantly, had made anything beyond casual difficult to maintain. And he’d learned the hard way trying to force something only ended in disaster.

 “What about that one girl…Hannah, was it? You seemed to get on fine with her…”

 Tom shrugged, “Hollie, actually. And it fizzled out.” He leaned back in his own chair, running his hand over his eyes. She’d been a charming woman and they’d gotten on well, but she’d had…expectations of his time that he hadn’t been able to meet. His schedule, while very much slowed, still kept him relatively busy and had cut into time with Hollie, something she had not appreciated. So they had parted ways after a handful of weeks. “Sometimes I wonder if any of it is actually worth the effort.”

 “Stuff and nonsense. You and I both know you don’t believe that for a moment.”

 “Just because things worked for you doesn’t make it so across the board,” Tom pointed out, taking a long swallow from his bottle of water. “Not everyone in our line of work gets so lucky. I’ve been home more now in the last few years than I have for most of my adult life, which is all well and good. But as a general rule, my life isn’t exactly settled and nor is it easy. And I don’t know too many non-industry women who’d be perfectly content to be with a bloke who’s rarely home or one whose life is picked apart and therefore puts their own into that domain.” He shrugged, placing his bottle back onto the table. “That just leaves fellow actors and the like and I’ve had more than enough experience with how that can go wrong to want to subject myself or any potential partner to that any time soon.”

 Ben grimaced. “Things weren’t ever really going to work with that relationship and I think you knew that from the start.”

 Tom opened his mouth to deny Ben’s words but quickly let it fall shut. That relationship was over long before it had really gotten the chance to start. But his own stubbornness and determination hadn’t let him walk away. He’d known shortly after their initial meeting that this thing that had sparked between them would never work. But he’d perused it anyway, blindly seeking something real. It had been a reaction to Amy’s wedding, to seeing her happy and settled and wanting that so desperately for himself. He knew that now, but then…He’d let himself it caught up in the rush of emotion and hadn’t paused once to really think what he was doing. And it had ended just as quickly as it had begun and just as publicly.

 He’d dealt with the confused stares and the whispered conversations from friends and family alike. Dealt with the backlash and the blatant mocking and ridicule of the press and from the fan base. It was a reaction he hadn’t expected and at first didn’t know how to handle. And looking back, Tom wondered just how he’d navigated through it all and come out as unscathed as he had.

 Ben leaned forward and rested his hand on Tom’s forearm. “I get that you’re a fair bit jaded and not exactly convinced, but don’t simply write it off. The most spectacular things happen when you least expect them to. Look at me. I’d known Sophie for years. We’d cross paths and almost dance around each other but nothing ever came of it. Until it did. And it’s been wonderful.” Tom quirked an eyebrow and Ben paused and laughed. “I’m not saying it’s been easy because lord knows it’s been trying at times, but I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.” He clapped Tom on the shoulder. “It’ll happen, mate. Just give it time.”

 Tom shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

 “I’ve never known you to be a pessimist, my friend.”

 Tom shook his head, “Not pessimism, more trying to be realistic about it.” He waved off Ben’s protestations. “It’s fine, honestly. I’ve got a pretty decent life going, if I do say so myself. And if something ever does happen…Well that would be grand, but I’m not waiting with baited breath over it either.”

 Ben simply shrugged and the matter had been dropped. Tom had let himself sit, idly talking with Ben for another hour; only taking his leave when Sophie and the boys had returned in mass, both little ones tired and cranky from their adventures. Sophie had stuck her head into the kitchen on her way upstairs to settle the children down for their afternoon nap, “I see my darling husband hasn’t scared you off just yet.”

 Tom laughed heartily, “Nah, takes more than a bit of nosing about to send me running for the hills. But,” he started, stretching as he stood from the table. “It is about time I was off. Bobby’s been in the back garden and I really should check and make sure he’s not dug himself to China or ruined the flowering bushes…Again.” Both Ben and Sophie laughed. “I will see you lot, later then?” The nodded their ascent and Tom made his way out the front door and back into the pleasantly sunny and warm London afternoon.

 The walk home had been just as uneventful as the walk there had been, allowing him time to mull over his talk with Ben. It was the same thing, just with slightly different wrapping around it, and while he knew his friend meant well, talking only made the differences in their respective lives all the more apparent. Tom let out a long sigh of frustration as he turned onto his street, determined to put it out of his mind. There were far too many things needing settled in his life to even contemplate any of that. He managed to smile and wave at one of his neighbors as he climbed his front stairs, unlocking and pushing in the black lacquered front door. The foyer was markedly cool and the sudden temperature change sent a shiver down his spine.

 Bobby, thankfully, hadn’t dug up the back garden. The spaniel, thrilled at both his master’s return and the prospect of going back into the house, had jumped and barked like mad, running in tight little circles around Tom’s feet before dashing inside. Tom laughed despite himself. His life, though not quite how he’d pictured it, was decent and more than fulfilling. So it wasn’t perfect, but it was enough.

Next Chapter

[winterisakillerwrites]

Get Better - Chapter One

Title: Get Better

Chapter: 1/18

Character: Tom Hiddleston/Cath Richardson (OFC)

Genre: Romance

Rating: Teen

Summary:  Love. Companionship. Family. These are all of the things Tom Hiddleston desperately wanted. But his life and his choices left that a distant and unlikely prospect. So he did his best to move on and live his life as is. When an opportunity to return to the theater arises, he jumps at the chance and along the way finds that maybe, just maybe, those distant and unlikely prospects are closer than he could have imagined. Sequel to Brave Face.

Authors Notes/Warnings: So as I was writing Brave Face I knew that Tom’s story wasn’t over, even if that particular part of it was. And while I knew, more or less, what the overall ending to the story would be, its taken me a while to figure out the time in between.  Thanks to @redfoxwritesstuff for letting me continually throw ideas off and at you. I still can’t fathom why you put up with it, but I am eternally grateful you do.

CHAPTER ONE

The breeze ruffling through his hair as he walked down the busy London pavements was wonderfully cool; something Tom Hiddleston was infinitely grateful for. While it wasn’t a particularly scorching day for mid-August by any standard, it was still quite warm for London and any relief at all was welcome. As he meandered, Tom found himself watching the people around him as they passed. Most paid him little mind or, if they did, only muttered quietly under their breath but made no effort to approach him. It was a marked difference from the previous few years, and a welcomed one. True, there was still the occasional paparazzo or bold fan, but it was nothing like it had been in recent years. And he was grateful for the relative anonymity.  

He’d been surprised, but happy, when Ben had called out of the blue the week before, trying to arrange a time for the two of them to get together and ‘catch up’. Which, as Tom had come to learn, meant Ben had wanted nothing more than to grill him about his life and then try to fix it. Tom adored the man but he was a mother hen in the absolute worst way; settling down and having children only made it worse. It had been several months since they’d had the chance to truly sit and reconnect in a non-work related setting and, though he knew it would probably regret giving Ben the platform in which to undertake said interrogation, Tom was quick to agree. Finding the time however, took a fair bit of maneuvering.

Tom slowed his pace as the familiar house came into view. He smiled as he buzzed the gate, noting how a small cash of toys including a red plastic tricycle had started to take over the front garden. It was a comforting and domestic sign and it fit his friend’s life to a tee. Ben’s garbled voice echoed from the small speaker and a moment later the gate clicked open. Tom quickly made his way up the walk and towards the opened front door where Ben now stood, his eldest clinging to his leg, small blonde head peeking out from behind the tall form of his father.

For a moment Tom was struck dumb by the sight.  He could so clearly remember the utter joy and disbelief in Ben’s voice when he called to announce that Sophie had given birth. “A boy, Tom. I have a son.” It was nearly impossible to reconcile the tiny infant that had been placed in his arms a few days after that call with the small boy before him. He would be three now. Three? How had three years passed already?

Crouching down on his heels, Tom smiled at the boy now at eye level. “Hello there, little man. You’ve grown quite a bit haven’t you?”

The boy blinked at Tom and then up at his father before running back into the house. Ben sighed and shook his head. “Sorry. He’s been going through this shy phase as of late. Usually, you can’t get him to stop wanting to say ‘hello’ to everyone.”

Tom shrugged and pushed himself back up right, “My niece went through something similar. I get it.” He took Ben’s outstretched hand and pulled him into a one armed hug. “It’s good to see you, mate. How have you been?”

Ben chuckled as he closed the door and led them towards the living room. “Can’t complain overly much. I’ve got a fair bit of free time before I start filming so I’m trying to enjoy as much time as I can here with this lot.”

A loud cry echoed from the living room as they approached and moments later a slightly harried Sophie emerged carrying her squirming and fussy youngest son. She smiled brightly as she caught sight of Tom. “Well hello stranger!”

Tom’s face broke into an echoing smile and he moved to pull Sophie into a brief embrace, kissing her softly on the cheek. “Hello you. And don’t tell me this is…” Tom paused, eyes widening, as Sophie nodded. “He can’t be this big already!”

Both Sophie and Ben laughed at this. “He’s almost a year now. Time certainly seems to fly,” she sighed before turning to look at her husband. “Alright, I’m off. You boys have fun and remember if you need a break, you’re more than welcome to join me and our little terrors at the park.”

Balancing her youngest son against one hip, bending down to take her eldest son’s hand as he materialized at her side at the word ‘park’, which he then repeated loudly before launching into an explosion of words about the swings and the slide and all the activities he wanted to do. Sophie smiled indulgently at him and headed towards the front door, pausing to kiss Ben as she did so. Tom saw her grab a bag that had been left by the door, something he’d missed on his own way inside, and in a flurry of noise disappear from the house.

“Ah…Silence,” Ben exhaled with a quiet laugh, turning towards Tom. “I love them dearly, honestly I do. But I do admit that there are times I miss silence.”

“Now that I can believe,” Tom agreed with a smirk “And I’ve often heard my sisters’ make very similar remarks…” Causing both men to laugh and shake their heads. After several moments silence, he clapped his hands together. “So I do believe I was promised lunch…”

Which earned him an exaggerated eye roll. “I see how it is, Hiddleston. And I must say I am genuinely hurt to hear that my company ranks beneath food for you. If only your fans could see you now; gentleman, my left foot.”

Tom only shrugged in response. “I’m a man of simple needs.”

Lunch was a causal affair; Ben had thrown together a handful of sandwiches and various sides under the watchful eyes of his wife and the greedy hands of his eldest. They sat at the scarred wooden table in the kitchen and traded stories, catching up on the last few months of each other’s lives. Tom found himself relaxed and content in Ben’s company. They so rarely got the chance to do such things; work and the everyday happenings of life taking up so much of their time.

Ben rambled in his usual fashion about his latest filming experience and the trials and tribulations of being a father to two young boys. He joked about the latest project he was in talks for and the drawing his eldest had made him, “He swears up and down it’s a cat, but for the life of me I cannot see it.”

The drawing in question hung on the fridge held up with two cheery yellow magnets. And no matter how Tom squinted at it, he couldn’t make out what the squiggly blob was either and told him so. Ben laughed and shook his head.

“So what’s new in the life of the infamous Tom Hiddleston?” Ben inquired with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Tom leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms over his head. “I’ve got a few conventions scheduled in the States,” he paused and rubbed his over his beard in thought. “And a couple fun one off theater activities…And potentially a play if things continue to fall into place. So quite a bit actually. Which is nice. I’ve been starting to get rather antsy of late.”

Ben nodded. “Now that I can understand all too well.” He leaned forward and smiled at Tom in the way that always meant trouble. “And anything happening in the non-working vein, my friend?” And there it was, the long awaited subtle-not-so-subtle pry into his personal life. He’d known it was coming. It always did. But he’d remained ever hopeful Ben would let it slide. Just once. Alas, today was not to be that day.

“You’re lack of subtlety never ceases to astound me,” Tom chuckled, resting his elbows on the table. Ben merely shrugged and leaned back, shooting Tom a knowing look. They sat in silence for several moments before Tom let out a resigned sigh and admitted, “Nothing of note.”

He had been on a few one off dates and more than a few ‘my friend knows this wonderful girl I think you’d really get on with’. They were, as a rule of thumb, lovely people and quite a few Tom had genuinely liked, but in the end nothing seemed to stick. It had been disheartening, but not at all surprising. His life, even now when things had calmed significantly, had made anything beyond casual difficult to maintain. And he’d learned the hard way trying to force something only ended in disaster.

“What about that one girl…Hannah, was it? You seemed to get on fine with her…”

Tom shrugged, “Hollie, actually. And it fizzled out.” He leaned back in his own chair, running his hand over his eyes. She’d been a charming woman and they’d gotten on well, but she’d had…expectations of his time that he hadn’t been able to meet. His schedule, while very much slowed, still kept him relatively busy and had cut into time with Hollie, something she had not appreciated. So they had parted ways after a handful of weeks. “Sometimes I wonder if any of it is actually worth the effort.”

“Stuff and nonsense. You and I both know you don’t believe that for a moment.”

“Just because things worked for you doesn’t make it so across the board,” Tom pointed out, taking a long swallow from his bottle of water. “Not everyone in our line of work gets so lucky. I’ve been home more now in the last few years than I have for most of my adult life, which is all well and good. But as a general rule, my life isn’t exactly settled and nor is it easy. And I don’t know too many non-industry women who’d be perfectly content to be with a bloke who’s rarely home or one whose life is picked apart and therefore puts their own into that domain.” He shrugged, placing his bottle back onto the table. “That just leaves fellow actors and the like and I’ve had more than enough experience with how that can go wrong to want to subject myself or any potential partner to that any time soon.”

Ben grimaced. “Things weren’t ever really going to work with that relationship and I think you knew that from the start.”

Tom opened his mouth to deny Ben’s words but quickly let it fall shut. That relationship was over long before it had really gotten the chance to start. But his own stubbornness and determination hadn’t let him walk away. He’d known shortly after their initial meeting that this thing that had sparked between them would never work. But he’d perused it anyway, blindly seeking something real. It had been a reaction to Amy’s wedding, to seeing her happy and settled and wanting that so desperately for himself. He knew that now, but then…He’d let himself it caught up in the rush of emotion and hadn’t paused once to really think what he was doing. And it had ended just as quickly as it had begun and just as publicly.

He’d dealt with the confused stares and the whispered conversations from friends and family alike. Dealt with the backlash and the blatant mocking and ridicule of the press and from the fan base. It was a reaction he hadn’t expected and at first didn’t know how to handle. And looking back, Tom wondered just how he’d navigated through it all and come out as unscathed as he had.

Ben leaned forward and rested his hand on Tom’s forearm. “I get that you’re a fair bit jaded and not exactly convinced, but don’t simply write it off. The most spectacular things happen when you least expect them to. Look at me. I’d known Sophie for years. We’d cross paths and almost dance around each other but nothing ever came of it. Until it did. And it’s been wonderful.” Tom quirked an eyebrow and Ben paused and laughed. “I’m not saying it’s been easy because lord knows it’s been trying at times, but I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.” He clapped Tom on the shoulder. “It’ll happen, mate. Just give it time.”

Tom shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

“I’ve never known you to be a pessimist, my friend.”

Tom shook his head, “Not pessimism, more trying to be realistic about it.” He waved off Ben’s protestations. “It’s fine, honestly. I’ve got a pretty decent life going, if I do say so myself. And if something ever does happen…Well that would be grand, but I’m not waiting with baited breath over it either.”

Ben simply shrugged and the matter had been dropped. Tom had let himself sit, idly talking with Ben for another hour; only taking his leave when Sophie and the boys had returned in mass, both little ones tired and cranky from their adventures. Sophie had stuck her head into the kitchen on her way upstairs to settle the children down for their afternoon nap, “I see my darling husband hasn’t scared you off just yet.”

Tom laughed heartily, “Nah, takes more than a bit of nosing about to send me running for the hills. But,” he started, stretching as he stood from the table. “It is about time I was off. Bobby’s been in the back garden and I really should check and make sure he’s not dug himself to China or ruined the flowering bushes…Again.” Both Ben and Sophie laughed. “I will see you lot, later then?” The nodded their ascent and Tom made his way out the front door and back into the pleasantly sunny and warm London afternoon.

The walk home had been just as uneventful as the walk there had been, allowing him time to mull over his talk with Ben. It was the same thing, just with slightly different wrapping around it, and while he knew his friend meant well, talking only made the differences in their respective lives all the more apparent. Tom let out a long sigh of frustration as he turned onto his street, determined to put it out of his mind. There were far too many things needing settled in his life to even contemplate any of that. He managed to smile and wave at one of his neighbors as he climbed his front stairs, unlocking and pushing in the black lacquered front door. The foyer was markedly cool and the sudden temperature change sent a shiver down his spine.

Bobby, thankfully, hadn’t dug up the back garden. The spaniel, thrilled at both his master’s return and the prospect of going back into the house, had jumped and barked like mad, running in tight little circles around Tom’s feet before dashing inside. Tom laughed despite himself. His life, though not quite how he’d pictured it, was decent and more than fulfilling. So it wasn’t perfect, but it was enough.

Next

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Ninety-One: New Beginnings ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina, pregnancy ] [ Verse: A Light Amongst Shadows ] [ AO3 Link ]

Uchiha Sasuke has faced his share of trials and tribulations over the short - thus far - course of his lifetime.

Which, consequently, is a massive understatement.

He went from a happy - if not slightly ignored - child of one of Konoha’s greatest clans...to a complete and utter orphan overnight. The next six years were spent training every spare moment to avenge the fallen and take revenge on the one who’d killed them.

But just as he achieved it, he learned that nothing was as it seemed. His goals then changed to take out the true perpetrators of the Uchiha massacre: the councilmen of the village.

When he reached that goal, a war began, and he was forced to reconsider his priorities, as he’d finally gotten the truth from the horse’s mouth: that being his summoned brother.

So Sasuke went through yet another metamorphosis. He joined the allied army, took down their foes...and fully intended to do the same to all of those in power who’d let this travesty fester and grow until it reached the peak that was the fourth shinobi war.

...but, as per usual...Naruto got in his way.

So, for what he hoped would be the last time...Sasuke shifted his goals. Changed his outlook. Modified his plans. Or...in more particular terms...for a while, narrowed them to just one thing:

His family.

Itachi’s revival felt like a gift he didn’t deserve...but of course, it was far more than that. It was a means for the elder brother to make amends for his mistakes, face up to those who manipulated him...and take responsibility for both his brother, and the family he’d unknowingly left behind.

And it wasn’t easy. Many weren’t so quick to forgive either brother for their mistakes. Even though Itachi’s secured village peace for nearly a decade, and Sasuke’s battles - in the end - literally saved their world.

Did they do so perfectly? Oh hell no. And both of them expected as much. But it was something that would dog them for the next two decades...and possibly beyond.

But, in the midst of that...Sasuke found something he’d given up on finding. Sakura’s false expectations for him had all but soured his hope of finding anyone he could - or would - be able to build a future with. Come to love.

Have a family with.

And the person he found it in was the last person anyone expected...and yet, upon further inspection, made perfect sense.

Another child of a so-called ‘royal’ clan, as Sasuke was. One overlooked by her father, as Sasuke was...overshadowed by hatred of a brother, as Sasuke was. One who, once learning the truth, came to give that brother a second chance...just like Sasuke. Whose quiet nature was neither grating, nor unnoticed. Her patience waited out his stubbornness. Her kindness bred understanding of his past, and hope for his future. And never had she tormented him like so many of the others.

Hyūga Hinata was a perfect blank slate, and both a parallel in some ways...and an attracting opposite in others.

Fate pushed them together in more and more ways until it was undeniable. Sasuke found he couldn’t help but gravitate toward her. Until, eventually, they simply came together, and...well, the rest is history.

Of course...it wasn’t easy. The threats against the Uchiha quickly took root against her, as well. She didn’t shy from it, but it left Sasuke on pins and needles with worry. And parts of him still questioned if he deserved her.

If he was...safe enough for her.

Nightmares still plagued him. And his reflexes - to any but a very select few - could be deadly in the blink of an eye.

And if he worried about hurting Hinata...his paranoia that his deeply-rooted adaptations would come to hurt any children they had meant shying from the notion like a beast from a flame.

He knew - he knew! - he would never...could never...do so intentionally. But his instability lingered like a shadow just at the edge of his vision.

Hinata was patient, and yet gently encouraging...as were the others. They didn’t rush him, but also did their best to help him see the good in himself. The wonderful, attentive, careful father he could and would be.

Until, finally...he agreed to try. For months he walked on eggshells, waiting to hear when new life would take root within his wife. And then, at the tail end of the year, Itachi’s wife - as always, the attending family medic - confirmed that Hinata was with child.

...he wasn’t sure how to feel. There was fear, and anxiety, and paranoia...but also hope. Wonder. And dare he say...excitement.

But in some ways, it didn’t quite...take hold. It was an intangible concept, then. There was no curve to her middle, no kicking, no heartbeat. Just a fluctuation in hormones.

As she grew - as they grew - so did his curiosity and careful observation. Hands would explore her expanding skin, Sharingan seeing the small but growing tinge of chakra within Hinata that was not her own.

But it wasn’t truly tangible until the day they arrived.

Sasuke insisted on remaining outside, but in the end couldn’t refuse Hinata’s pleas for him. Her grip had shocked him, seeing the raw strength in her as she strained to bring their child into the world beyond her womb.

She was a new kind of beautiful to him that day.

Then there was a cry.

He’d gone stock still, pupil dilating at the sound before managing to turn his head. They presented the baby - a boy, they declared - before whisking him off to be cleaned and swaddled.

In the subsequent silence, he’d taken to tending to his wife, murmuring praise and admittance of fear at her might, which earned a tired laugh. Then the babe was brought back, and the family left to bond.

Sasuke held him first.

A fringe of dark hair was short and soft atop his head, and lids managed to part to reveal dark eyes, like his.

He was so...small. So fragile. Especially held in the strongest hands on Earth.

Sasuke stared at his son with his own childlike wonder, not noticing Hinata’s soft smile as she in turn watched him. Every movement was like he was cradling glass - and any chance he got, he didn’t dare to move at all. But then he began to whine, clearly searching for his mother and his first meal.

Ever so gently, he passed the babe along.

“See…? I told you: you’d do just fine.”

Not answering, Sasuke just watched the pair of them adjust. “...a new beginning…”

“One you helped create. And one you’ll help protect.”

“...with everything I’ve got.”

“We all will.” Clearly beginning to doze, Hinata let her eyes close. “...the Uchiha...almost met their end. But now...they’re a clan of beginnings. A new...era…”

“...I like the sound of that.”

     Gotta work on other stuff tonight before bed so here we go!      In ALAS, Sasuke and Hinata have two kids: Tenkai, their son, and Chikyū, their daughter. But it takes time for Sasuke to feel confident enough in himself and his growth to trust himself with his own children.      But he'll get there. Sasuke is a GREAT dad...and canon can't tell me otherwise.      Anywhooo, I gotta run, so...thanks for reading!

[gyrabanian]

LFRP;; K’bahsa Nunh

basics  ☀ ☀ ☀

NAME: K’bahsa Nunh

Age: Thirty-six

GENDER: Male

SEXUALITY: Heteroflexible?

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single, technically? Nunhs, man.

SERVER: Balmung.

physical appearance  ☀ ☀ ☀

HAIR: Well-kept, yet somehow maintaining an air of constant disarray. Organized disarray. It’s a rich, almost black, shade of brown, and is arranged in a thin ponytail in the back.

EYES: Bright eyes being trademark of his tribe, they’re a bright, very clear blue, with tinges of green around the edges. Crow’s feet at the corners, from all his smiling.

HEIGHT: 6′0″

BUILD: An incredibly well-built man, K’bahsa is as healthy as a horse despite all his trials and tribulations, and does his best to keep it up. He’s strong and firm, with calloused hands. He stands up straight, with broad shoulders.

DISTINGUISHING MARKS: His tribal tattoos, at best. A smattering of faint scars, nothing terribly discerning.

COMMON ACCESSORIES: A necklace of beads which I can only describe as having a similar appearance to a five-decade rosary necklace. Rings of various metals, with bright jewels embedded in them. A worn, griffin-skin journal.

personal  ☀ ☀ ☀

PROFESSION: Nunh & Acting leader of the Hiparrion of Gyr Abania. For three easy payments of $19.99, you, too, can learn his tragic backstory. He is also a highly skilled red mage, and adept, if not... unorthodox, arcanist.

HOBBIES: Finding new and innovative ways to practice magic, albeit with a newfound and very strict sense of safety. Looking after the children, telling them stories, and having fun with them. Cooking food! He’s quite the chef, though he prefers spicy and savoury over sweet. K’bahsa enjoys seeing new sights and exploring what Eorzea has to offer, after spending many years locked behind Baelsar’s Wall (and technically hiding in the mountains,) and often, when he is able, likes to take hikes. 

LANGUAGES: Common, strictly, though he as an interest in learning others.

RESIDENCE: Complicated. Technically, in a village in Gyr Abania. Literally, however? It’s up in the air, seeing as his tribe currently is in search of a new, more proper abode.

FEARS: Losing his family, failing to keep his promises, the past, and the future both.

relationships ☀ ☀ ☀

PARENTS: Both of his parents deceased, but he was very close to the both of them. He has a great, deep love for his mother, and a healthy respect for his father. He misses them dearly.

SIBLINGS: A moderate amount of siblings and cousins, many deceased.

OTHER RELATIVES: K’nala Bahsa, his adopted daughter, born to the Nunh before him. She chose to take on his name, an act which TO THIS DAY makes him clutch his heart. Several young children.

NOTABLE FRIENDS: None, currently. His Entire Tribe? He Loves Them.

traits ☀ ☀ ☀

extroverted / introverted / in between / contextual

disorganized / organized / in between / contextual

close minded / open-minded / in between / contextual

calm / anxious / in between / contextual

disagreeable / agreeable / in between / contextual

cautious / reckless / in between / contextual

patient / impatient / in between / contextual

outspoken / reserved / in between / contextual

leader / follower / in between / contextual

empathetic / unemphatic / in between / contextual

optimistic / pessimistic / in between / contextual

traditional / modern / in between / contextual

hard-working / lazy / in between / contextual

cultured / un-cultured / in between / contextual

loyal / disloyal / in between / contextual

faithful / unfaithful / in between / contextual

additional information ☀ ☀ ☀

☼ Individuals of Ala Mhigo may, in the past, have heard unsavoury rumors about the tribe and their magic in regards to the Mad King Theodoric. Their tribe’s names weren’t uncommon in the days of his rule - and mysteriously, they all disappeared prior to his fall. Theories abound as to what happened or what they did, but they have never answered.

☼ Is terribly, entirely to a fault, trusting and oblivious at times to danger - only when it’s posed to him. He is easy to push into bad situations, because he seeks to help those around him, sometimes even at cost to his own health.

☼ Is the ULTIMATE dad-joke-teller and lover of children. He’s just, a jumbo spicy big dad. The biggest, really.

what i’m looking for ☀ ☀ ☀

Friends, potentially other K-tribe members (though there’ll need to be a discussion if coming from his particular sect,) individuals through which to find work, etc. Pre-determined relationships are possible, as Bahsa spent some time with the Resistance, as well as in the mountains with the Red Duelists.

about the player  ☀ ☀ ☀

☼ I’m available almost all the time. I prefer to schedule roleplay over spontaneously deciding on it, however, I am not opposed to it on occasion.

☼ I’m in the PST time zone!!!! Just for the record.

☼ For the most part, I don’t have an issue rping most genres/types of roleplay, but depending on the sort, I’d like to discuss it beforehand.

☼ I rp in game or on discord, but I PREFER in game!

how to reach me ☀ ☀ ☀

Feel free to DM me here and ask for my discord! Or... message me on discord, if you, somehow already have me added.

[madamhatter]

“ fine. you’ll never see me again, okay? ” ( sin leaving sophie after a fight post marriage ?? )

- ; phrases that really hit you where it hurts / accpt / @saeiqas

   Her life was anything but picturesque for the eldest of three, destined for misfortune and plainness throughout the rest of her years. As the retainer to her father’s legacy, the flighty sparrow who’d rushed between duties meant for five bodies versus one, she knew that expectations on her were heavier than gold. But, support and care were void from her relationship with her guardian or those who relied on her; all the expectations of her were required from her (and the complication of emotions that weren't “appropriate”). 

Now, deep within the Southern Seas, a contract created beyond their years by now phantoms to this realm had been the latest in a line of mishaps. Far from home, far from company, far from her life, Sophie was bound by ink to a greater mystery known to man. It was a union that was destined for failure. 

Despite the stubbornness to locate loopholes, the drive to exploit diction in a contract older than their own lives, the tenacity to refuse marriage unless conditions were made, she has found herself to be a wife. Though with the technicalities she harnessed and sharp tongue she wielded, Sophie formally arranged a system of checks and balances for the newly established and officiated marriage. 

One of the agreements imposed by Sophie (without better thought) was constructing their “relationship” to where he continued in the indulgences of sin, the leisure of fertilized grapes and appreciative flesh of his concubines.  Positioning herself not as a burden and barrier to his common practices and routine, in theory, would’ve facilitated their future betrothal with minimal infringements to their lifestyle. Conceiving the layout of tolerance and cushioning the radical change would’ve sufficed in their lawfully dreaded union. 

If they kept to their routines, diminishing interactions outside of their obligations, Sophie guaranteed that their future wouldn’t allude to the treacherous marriage both knew would come. 

Contracts, by written or oral compromise. followed one rule: it must be abided by. Head turned in the opposing direction, melancholic in the silence of tolerance and practiced etiquette to play ignorant,  Sophie dared not utter a word. Alas, reckless was he who held the world in his palms but, his gaze was to the horizon, with any objectable plan and action within his cutch. Power without supervision, however, only encouraged a spiral of control to the intoxication of arrogance. Sophie Hatter never shied from asserting herself to remind him of moderation.  Though, her talk remained brief. 

Mahrajan, among the many festivals and public holidays, were the times in which the peculiarness of their relationship was found. To be found within the crowds was common for the wife of the King of the Seven Seas, she partook in the festivities with her genuinely tired smile. Yet, she flocked to the civilians, remaining in her customary plain attire, greeting many old faces and checking on the families. However, as she proudly twirled on her feet, lost to the flow of music and energy, she had been worlds apart from her partner. 

Sinbad, on the contrary, remained his most trusted of camaraderie – his Eight Generals – lavishing in the day’s reaps and marveling over the country he knew to be his family. Nevertheless, he joined the joyous occasion with loved ones, be it his underlings or those who flocked to his body. And, never had it been with the “loving” wife. 

However, Sophie never bothered with the strangeness of their arrangement. All she did was passively stare from afar, which over time, turned to bitter glares. Her folded hands devolved to crossed, tight arms over her chest. A soured expression resided on her face the further she caught herself looking with each passing month. 

Turmoil was non-negotiable; to be against her own word was beyond her comprehension. Whatever spite that armed her mind with silent vengeance and pettiness only churned her, trifling with her plans. Her fists squeezed, her skin turning ghostly white, whenever she refrained from commenting when she witnessed his infidelities leisure. She swallowed her pride and picked at the flesh at the center of her palm, over the scars that littered the entirety of both of her arms. 

 Nevertheless, she had been the parasite, the fiend who’d taken upon herself to measure distance through each backlash and riposte against one who’d been determined to be an anomaly of miracles. 

The patience she held onto grew shrill anytime her eyes met with his, her scorn flashing across her eyes. With the question emerging whenever Sinbad caught her, the woman ignored her husband’s suspicion and concern. Though, dismissively, she commented clearly whenever they crossed paths, “Have fun.” 

At that point, the High King of Sindria searched only for answers and was cursed with throbbing headaches and frustration over his wife’s ever-changing attitude. Sweeter than primroses when outside of the palace, docile yet excitable when in the presence of Sindria’s future, eager to know his creation, his pride and joy that was his destiny – his country and his people; however, the flower wilted within his reach, transforming to vixen with eyes only wanting to pry and unravel all she could of his being, almost always with judgmental eyes – almost pained whenever he spotted her at the corner of his eyes when she passed by. Yet, something lingered like a fondness, an unsung softness. And, the light in her eyes twinged, fading in moments when he went through his business. 

The breaking point was finally met when Sophie’s tongue loosened and her true blunt nature emerged. To stare Sinbad down to the sun-bursting yellow eyes, to criticize him relentlessly from the beginning days to the moment they stood in front of another, to accuse him of the inconsideration of others’ emotions for his own ploys, the courtyard only turned to an amalgamation of trials and tribulations.

He, in turn, wasn’t complacent, he known currents more treacherous and chaotic than such a debacle. However, in turn of every inquiry her way, he only questioned her motive, her actions, her everything, trying to dig deeper to the point of what truly was her essence. All that built up where empty scenarios that were created with each new unanswered question, all there was the remains of their languishing relationship in the fresh cemetery full of wildflowers that twisted around the vineyards and architecture. 

Refusing to meet his eyes, rebelling through the most childish of actions with her back turned towards him, Sophie gritted her teeth into her gums. A shaky breath escaped her heated body, how the temper swelled hotter than torrid wildfires and how the fire swelled in the pit of her stomach. 

Silence occupied their distance, disarming the married couple, only leaving the unresolved tension wide open for all the flies and maggots to satisfy their appetite. With their relationship rotting with each second, Sinbad finally spoke: 

“Fine. you’ll never see me again, okay?”

A dagger buried into her womb, the thin side of the blade repeatedly sawing through her, it all occurred the moment he dared mention that. While her body remained stiller than a corpse, her hand clenched desperately to the fabric of her shirt above her heart. Her mouth parted without any sound or breath leaving, only the vacancy of her unintelligible emotions escaping in the night silence.  

You don’t mean that. Please don’t make me imagine that. Sinbad, none of this is funny and that’s the worst offense of them all. Please don’t leave me. 

“Sinbad, I–” She choked on her words. “Wait,” Sophie cleared her throat, forcing herself to speak with heavy thought in each word. Her pleads struggled out as she maintained her composure, her hand still trembling. She shut her eyes, swallowing her heart, as she finally turned to him.

“If you need to, I won’t stop you.” Every saturated emotion of her true self vanished when she met his eyes once more, coolly acknowledging his proclamation. Who was she to argue against a King’s word? Who was she to feel her heart shriveling the moment his hardened gaze was as loveless as ever? 

Only the quietly bland “good nights” were exchanged as their eyes stuck to another, animosity bleeding through their formalities. 

If her own presence ailed him greatly and even sickened herself to the point of forgetting herself, she should’ve considered Sinbad’s words to have some semblance of weight. Troubling her mind was unattainable and uncooperative emotions, troubling him was simply her existence. To remedy such conflict of interest and tension, perhaps, distance was the answer.

Sweeping through her own cramped office to her belongings neatly stacked in the corner of the bedroom, a simple gesture from her wrist sent her magic to work. Every object to her name, be it her own materials, books, clothing, accessories, drawings, creations, and many more, flew into the air and began sorting into shelves and boxes as tightly as possible through the most utmost respect to size and color. 

Leaving these rooms she haunted spotless of her presence was only the beginning. Sophie soon loosened her braid and tightened it into a ponytail. Garments belonging to her “status” (as plainly as they were) were discarded, folded, and placed away. Slipping into her black tights, tucking in her white cotton-pressed shirt, buttoning her gray jacket, and flattening the length of her knee-tall skirt, she resorted to her traveler’s attire. 

“Come,” the sorceress reached out her arm, unphased at the thought of her magic being known at this point. Her qualms were secondary to her problem-solving. Her broom came flying into her hands and she tapped the front of her boots into the pristine floors, spotting his empty space on their mattress.

He must be out in the “entertainment” district, drinking away the facts of this horrendous life we have. He must be reconsidering accepting this situation. Inebriated beyond the point of comprehensive choice-making, he’ll find more solace there than here with a stranger like me,  an idiot who is lost beyond words with what is going on with me. 

Fastening her bag over her shoulder, gathering last-minute writing utensils and paper, she snapped her finger as her broom floated at her midriff. Stationing herself and straddling properly on the broom, she glanced back once more to the lifestyle of hopelessness she only more than ever regretted, if not for her strange daydreams. 

Turning her cheek, adamant to stick to her word now, she chewed on her tongue and left past the open windows. 

The silhouette of the sorceress was accentuated by the high risen moon, only a speckle of dust in the radiant capital of parties and dreams. Past the bustling resident district, past the orchards, and past the outskirts of the city, the witch continued onward to the horizon to where she could better hear the oceans crashing against the sands, to where the busy lives of man were nothing more than echoes to her reclusive ears.

Sophie only found herself in the company of the stars, moon, and ocean when she made contact with the beach far from the ports. The forests were behind her but, she kept relatively close to the waterside as the tip of her boots grazed the sand in landing. 

Now, the kindling of fire comforted her as she set camp, rethinking every action and line, charting every other path she should’ve taken. She sat at the front of the flames, huddling close. Her hands, however, were clinging to the fabric of her shirt as she took a deep breath – plummeting back to lay in the sand…to sob. 

Loneliness was a part of her inevitable lifestyle, her fate. Yet, the wound to her heart continued to bleed as her arms covered her face, shielding her from the unwanted voices that’d tear her limb to limb if they found her in such a state. Hot tears trailed down her face as the rolling currents were louder than her cries of realization and pain. 

Pathetic, aren’t I? I don’t want this, I don’t want to feel any of this. It isn’t meant for me, I don’t deserve it; there’s only more suffering that’ll come from it. But, I want to be looked at, I want to be touched, I want to be felt, I want something as impossible as his attention without the pity of this tragedy. Why did I open my mouth? Why couldn’t I have just been satisfied with these arrangments? Why did I want to be selfish?

When did this even start? How come I can’t stop this? What’s going to happen if this continues? Who do I think I am for feeling this way? And why do I want him to love me? 

The ocean was the guide to all who wanted to see the world.  Capricious currents to halcyon tides were among the power and beauty of the sea for the tumultuous motions couldn’t be controlled nor predicted. No matter, it shimmered in the moon and sun upon the ocean tops. Yet, underneath, the depths of the sea were like an abyss with only mystery shrouding the true intentions of its turbulent strategy.

However, the stars were a farther distance and couldn’t ever be touched; only through the illusion of a hand held to the sky, it could be imagined. However, the scattered constellations were navigators for being so far, aiding with their glimmer with those lost within the rifts of life. All that was shining was beyond human touch but, it was beautiful. 

Perhaps, this was why there was the space in-between the water and sky. To reach out with hopes only ended with cold air between your fingers, making one realize how impossible it truly was. 

TLDR: Sophie realizes she fucked up and unexpectedly realizes her own feelings. 

Also, she went back after three days to the palace. She definitely returned to the city to help out residents (and customers). She definitely kept out of general sight. But, I’m too lazy to write that. 

[ikonislife]

Little One.

-Jinhwan x Reader

-Fluff, parent au, mentions of sex

Being the eldest to 6 rowdy boys count as parenting right? Jinhwan questions himself as he stares wide eyes at the piece of black and white paper you had just handed him. His brain had suddenly decided to take a vacation leaving your poor man singing a high pitch wheeze that honestly sounds a lot like a dying cat choking on a hair ball.

"Baby... Husband? Jinhwanie? Mr. Kim?" You had half expected him to faint or scream to the God above but this stone statue vacated of a soul in place of your husband had left you utterly confuse. Shit... you thought. What if, what if your worst fear had finally come true... He didn't want the baby.

"Is this what I think it is? Is it just me or did you just said there's a 4 weeks old wee little peanut baby in your belly." Eyes surveying your face for any sign that this was some elaborated prank you pulled, a stunt to get back at him for pushing you into the pool fully clothed not too long ago at Bobby’s house warming party... But alas, all he could fine was solemn. Jinhwan chuckles dryly, a bit like a mad man talking to the air and his spirit floating about the room rather than directing the questions at you.

"I- yea..." you sigh dejectedly, your nightmare had truly become reality because why else would he be in this state of shock, of disbelief when you had been “practicing” making baby for as long as, no even way before he had called you girlfriend. How would you do it without jinhwan, does all this mean a divorce is imminent? Eyes no longer on him, you stare at your lap, finger fidgeting out of sorrow and anxiety. What would you do without him. for so long it’s just you and him against the world... Could you really handle this world alone, single with a baby in your arms? You let yourself sink further into the couch, doing your all to hold back the tear threatening to spill.

"Aww, baby girl. Was this what had been stressing you out do much? Come here, sweetheart." Jinhwan's arms already around your shivering body even before the sentence was over, hot kisses pressing delicately on your features and it seemed his soul had finally pulled itself together judging by that bright smile on his lips. "You've been picking at your nail again, haven't you?" His hands prying your clasped ones apart, finger smoothing over the redden and frayed skin around your chipped colored nails before a soothing kiss chases the discomfort away.

"Yea... are you angry? I'm sorry." Face digging deep in the crook of his neck, your heart revels in the soft passing of his gentle hand on your back and the tight hold he has around your waist. 

"Why would I be angry?" Befuddlement evident across his handsome features, eyes squinting in hope of deciphering your strange question. Why would he be angry, you had just told him the best news ever yet your expression so pained then revelation hits him like a freight train.   "Wait the minute... Oh my Lord, did you think I don't want our little peanut? No, baby. Don't think that." He near shriek when your words and action finally registered in his euphoric brain. “Why would you think of something so awful. You and the little one are so important to me, how could I not want either of you.” His words brought out the tears you had been trying so hard to suppress. You let all the pent up emotion go, sobbing into his chest. Jinhwan shushes your whimper with words of love and reassurance, “I will never, ever leave you or our baby. My wife is so silly.”

“I- you just frozed when I handed you the ultrasound. You went JPEG on me! I thought you didn’t want the baby or me anymore... It’s not like we’ve ever really talked about babies, I just thought it’s not time yet...” You huff out the sentence, ending it with a wail of relief but it sounded more like a dying whale if Jinhwan has to be truthful. Nevertheless, it made him smile seeing you all pouty and clingy.

“Never! I froze because I couldn’t process what you were telling me. I literally felt like I had an out of body experience. My ghost was dancing around watching me sit here like a dumb ass staring at you.” He pulls you even closer to his chest, fingers threading through your hair doing his best to calm you down with the rocking of his body. “I love you, wifey. I think you just gave me the best present in the world, I don’t know how I’m gonna ever top that. You win best spouse in this relationship.” No words could express how over the moon your man is feeling, he’s a father, a freaking father to a real baby for god’s sake. “When did you find out?” He questions, the picture of your tiny baby clutching tight in his hand as he stares in a happy stupor.

“I was late so I took a test a week ago, but I didn’t want to say anything till I was 100% certain. It was so hard hiding it with you constantly checking up on why I was so upset. I’m so sorry, now I wish I had told you sooner.” Pressing a soft kiss onto his neck, your brain could finally revel in the happy news - you’re expecting a child, with the best husband in the world, how freaking awesome is that! A dumbstruck smile on your lips as you snuggle closer to your husband, whom you dare say even more intoxicated in this joyous occasion than you are. Certainly there’ll be trial and tribulation to come in his future but for now, he’ll settle for that light buzz he got from being so blessed, from having you and your baby in his arms. 

Tour had always been grueling but perhaps it had always been a bit easier when Jinhwan didn’t have anyone at home waiting for him. It used to be a blur of stumbling in and out of the dorm to pack, a quiet ride to the airport then just random shenanigans with his brothers while waiting for the flight. Sure he got to travel places, and eat foods the next ordinary Joe might not get the chance to but the long hour of practice and insane cycle of rehearsal than stage enervated whatever energy Jinhwan got to properly enjoy the rare day off he get to wander the city. Then before he knew it, it was back to the plane for another long haul home - jet lagged and exhausted.

Then like a little miracle, you crashed into his life like a little ray of sunshine he didn’t know he needed, lightening up his days just a bit more with your silliness, laughter, and the adorable little comments about everything and anything. His heart ache to part way with you even if it’s just temporarily yet the trip itself so much more tolerable knowing in the privacy of his hotel room, he had someone to vent to and laugh with about how his day had been. Late nights when he’s worn to the bones were no longer dull because he could always count on you being a video call away, waiting to lift his mood. No longer were he sleeping endlessly in his hotel room nor eat just for the sake of eating. He began to enjoy the little things in life, getting an ice cream down the street or just a walk with the other boys. Jinhwan found himself bookmarking restaurants and jotting down names of attractions, letting his imagination ran wild as he think of the gleams of excitement in your eyes when he can finally bring you to the places he loves most. Best of all, he finally had someone to share his interests and disinterest without having to worry about being embarrass. At the end of it all, he knew once he returns home, it wouldn’t be to an empty bed and the same faces he had seen all tour long. He loves his band brothers but once in awhile, Jinhwan just needed a change and you were exactly that for him. The way you danced in elation when he finally returned home after the first time paring way for a 3 weeks tour was unlike any experience he had before. You had cried for nearly 10 minutes out of missing him and finally getting to hold him again, he couldn’t say he was any better clinging onto you for the rest of that week.

With the little Peanut growing bigger everyday, Jinhwan finds it hard to even leave the house to practice or record let alone going on a long tour. It was harder and harder for him to leave you and the bump at home, even with Hanbin nagging his ears off every day to go do his job, anything at all other than adoring his baby and wife. The second work was done, he’d bolt straight home, never mind the dinner or the occasional night out drinking with the team, all Jinhwan wants was to be home singing to the Peanut and holding you close before all three of you falling asleep. 

“Honey, you gotta get going... Hanbin is going to nag my ears off again if you’re late. Kim Jinhwan! I know you heard me.” You scream from the kitchen, throat sore from the half hour long wake up call he had you do on this morning, feigning ignorant and refusing to budge an inch.

“WHAT?! that little brat called you? He nagged at you? Uh uh, he’s gonna get it today.” Poor Hanbin, by the way your dear husband putting so much emphasis on the way he enunciated “nagged”, someone is about to get a spanking or at the very least pester till he cry of frustration. 

“Seriously, of all the things I said, that’s all you caught? You’re late, Mr. Kim. Get, before Peanut and I kick you out of the house.” Trudging over with his duffle bag in hands, you almost faint from the ear piercing scream Jinhwan let out accompanies by the shock spreading over his face. 

“Mrs. Kim, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Drop that. DROP IT!!” Jinhwan rushes over, bag yanked away from your hand before carelessly landing across the room. Jinhwan bending over, pressing light kisses on your tiny bump before pressing his whole face onto it. With arms tightening around your waist, he peers back at your cold expression completely done with his antics, sharp eyes glaring up only got sharper when he saw the absolutely nonchalant expression on your face.

“Your mama never listen to me, Peanut. Do you see what I have to put up with? Shaking my head, I told her heavy lifting isn’t good for you but she did it anyways.” Goodness, the sass in your smol man. Kneeling on the floor, Jinhwan coos at the baby that was no longer peanut sized but nevertheless the endearing nickname remained. 

“You did not just say ‘shaking my head’ out loud. Seriously, baby, the bag wasn’t even that heavy. you have like 3 shirts in there. You worry too much.” Pulling him off the floor and into your arms, you exchange a sweet chaste kiss spending the last few minutes before parting way just gazing at each other. How lucky are you to be with someone so wonderful, swaying to the music only you two seem to be able to hear... well, make that three.

The world forgotten, Jinhwan lets himself get lost in your smile and the way your eyes sparkle so brightly with love even if you keep insisting that somehow you’ve turned into a rag doll after a hurricane. Finger tracing out the line of your face delicately, he thought of those single days when this seemed so impossible, to have a loving family. Then he thought of those days where shy kisses being peppered on the first few dates and feeling the force of thousands butterflies raging in his stomach. Sure your relationship with him had started out ass backward after foolishly sleeping with each other, result of a fun night with a few too many drinks. Boundaries were gone even before they were established yet after all the difficulties for you both to acknowledge you had feelings for each other, it just felt like innocent first love and first kiss all over again.

After all this times, after all the late night of cradling your worn out body in his arms while you cried on the bathroom floor from the sheer aching of morning sickness, even after all the random outburst of fury from not having enough nutella and cheetos in the house resulting in a grumpy Jinhwan braving the cold 3AM street, you still is the best woman in the world in his eyes. He hates so much when you’d whine that you’re no longer as pretty or couldn’t compete against the other wives in his friend group because Jinhwan honestly couldn’t see how. You’ve only gotten more stunning, ravishingly, astronomically prettier since Peanut decided to grace you both with his or her present.

“I love you so much, you know that baby? I only want the best for you and the little one.” Jinhwan could feel the tear threatening to spill now, it was once again like the first time leaving on tour after claiming each other hearts all those years ago. He just didn’t want to leave, simply couldn’t.

“I know. We’ll be okay, I promise.” Your hand unknowingly travels to smooth over the tiny one, a reassuring smile on your lips chasing his own to wash away the worries on his face. 

He might seems cheeky and low key sassier than Junhoe but he’s the best man you’ve ever met. The past few months hadn’t been easy and you weren’t the best version of yourself with the constant hormonal mood swing but he took it all with grace and not a peep of complaint. 

“I just wish the appointment wasn’t when I’m oversea. I hate the thought of you being alone... I’m so sorry, honey. I-I just, I just want to be here. I feel like I’m not doing my job.” 

“But I’m not alone. I have you and I have Peanut. It’s just one appointment, baby. there’re plenty more, I’m sure of that.” Your suspicion was on the dot, Jinhwan had been lagging on packing and far more brooding over the tour because he somehow thought he’s not being a good dad by leaving you and your baby. Lips locking once more, your heart ache now that you had a glimpse of his concerned heart. You want so badly to tag along but it’d just be a distraction, and you have your own life to worry about. “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll call you as soon as they get the goop off of Peanut. Plus, our moms will be there. Yeah?”

“Yea...” He replies half heartedly, sadness lingering still.

“Smile for me. Come on, let me see that fairy smile.” He forces a smile but as seconds tick by, it turns into a small genuine giggle when you poke and prod at his side. “There we go.” Your fun cut short by the nagging ringtone you had assigned to Hanbin’s number. “That should be the van. I’ll see you in a week, okay love?” Jinhwan nods before letting a lingering kiss sends him off, but not before a few soft ones on your belly.

It wasn’t until Jinhwan had sent you one last goodbye text before boarding that you let your emotion run wild - crying because you miss him, then getting angry at yourself for being so dependent. The moment he found out you were expecting, you need not lift a finger. Honestly, you were sure the queen isn’t getting treatment this good, and you doubt any servant would be as doting and adoring  the way your husband is. With him gone, every little task just seemed so impossible until you just gave up and nap. Night time is even worse without his sweet singing lulling you and baby to sleep, nor was his warmth there to keep you toasty and comfortable all night long. 

With much struggle, the big day had finally arrived, the day that had Jinhwan at the edge of his seat all month long. You awaken to 20 messages from your husband and the boys alike, ranging from just incoherent keyboard smash to hyperventilating in text form. 

With Jinhwan being the first to get married in the group, no one is more excited for a new member of the iKon family than the rest of the boys, each showing their affection in their own way, their very own extra way if you might add. Donghyuk had claimed the spot of best uncle, declaring his love for Peanut with endless gifts, even tagging along to parenting class whenever Jinhwan couldn’t. Vying for the same title, Yunhyeong had done all the research he could, perhaps even more prepared than either you nor Jinhwan is at this whole parenting thing. At one point, the old YunDong ship had literally fought each other till near sinking because they both claimed to be the best. Little did they know, uncle Chanwoo had solidified his standing with pampering you with as much food as he could, even going as far as studying up on what food will be good for the baby, always on the look out for easier way for you to be healthy without giving up too much freedom. As expected of your food buddy after all, only he’d be worry about you having alternative to give up your favorite food in avoidance of gestational diabetes. He might be a child but for sure he’ll one day be one of  the best father there ever existed one day. Hanbin had taken on the role of mother hen, nagging you to sleep, nagging you to eat, then nags you the whole way to your doctor appointment. You’re no longer allowed to be near a microwave, nor trekking across the parking lot alone without one of the boys accompanying. Strange enough, Junhoe whom usually has no part of Hanbin’s antic had also turned into a overly paranoid freak over every little thing, playing into Hanbin’s safeguard persona. Every whimper, every second your face contorted in the sheer aching of accommodating two lives in one body, He’d be right there asking all the right question and offering all the solution he could. Bobby although not taking the route of diving into books and parenting class, he was all hands on deck the moment you had announced a makeover for your house. Everything from the cot to the paint on the wall, Bobby did it himself not trusting an outsider to be handling the essentials that will nurse iKon’s “precious cargo” as he fondly refer to Peanut with that cheeky bunny smile of his.

Pushing the delightfulness of your wonderful brothers in law to the side, worrisome plaguing your mind as your car racing down the familiar streets. You didn’t hate going to the hospital without Jinhwan, you know just how hard he works for a better future for your little growing family so your heart long accepted there will be times where he won’t be there to hold your hands. Yet there’s still a lingering sadness as you walk by the waiting room, watching as women of all ages snuggling close to their significant others, their little bump happily resting in between their bodies. 

“He’ll be home soon, Y/n. Don’t worry!” Your mom speaks up never once look up from filling out the many forms prepping for your future delivery, no doubt reading your worries without even needing to face you. All the while your mother in law had already got an embrace around your shoulders, pulling you close with a reassuring smile. This must be what they called mother intuition, they always seem to know what’s wrong and what’s going on long before you feel the need to voice your concerns.

“I know, mom. Just, he really wanted to be here...” Sadden smiles shared among the two women you have so much respect for, they watch with bated breath as the familiar black and white picture playing on the small screen.

Half an hour comes and goes in a flash as the doctor wiping away the goo smeared over on your belly, eagerness and joy bubbling near the surface you couldn’t stop smiling and neither could your moms. 

“Mom.” You call out but they were already both waving you off, shoving your phone back into your hands, knowing smiles on their lips.

“Don’t worry, we’ll finish up here.”

Not a second to waste, you hastily, as hastily as a 4 months pregnant woman wadding like a duck swallowed a planet would allowed, rush toward the exit, elation no longer contain as you squeal in happiness. One ring then two, you’ve never feel so impatient before waiting for Jinhwan to pick up as your feet dance in one spot.

“BABY! YOU FINISHED, HOW’S PEANUT, HOW’RE YOU, WHAT’D THE DOC SAID?” No time for greeting, your husband near screamed your ears off the second your “hello” sounded off in his speaker. Behind his overexcited voice, a  ruckus of overlapping calls for your name and muddled up questions that sounds more of some dead language than anything that’d make sense. A cuss left your husband lips before you could hear the leader’s voice booming out, simmering down the commotion.

“So, baby is fine. She’s super healthy... Just a bit of a brat. Sigh, she’s only four months old but already taking after her dad, being a pain in the butt for mommy. I guess she’ll be daddy’s little girl.” You muses, hinting at the long time coming answer to Jinhwan’s anticipation. You couldn’t contain your satisfaction in being able to share the moment with him (and the boys) even if it’s just over the phone, loving every second you get to say ‘she’, and ‘little girl’. Quite a strange feeling finally being able to put somewhat of an image to Peanut. Thus far your dreams had all been of an faceless, mystery baby that wasn’t really yours. Now you could really let your imagination wander in details and it never felt better. If the pregnancy hadn’t feel real up till now, this was the moment that solidified it all, you’re having a baby girl, your own daughter.

“That’s really good to hear, babe. What about the important news!!!” Clamors of agreement and chants of “boy or girl” erupt in the background.

“I said, She’s only four months old but already giving mommy a headache. Definitely daddy’s little girl.” Lord, what will you do with this man child.

“Aw, is our little baby giving you a lot of pain again? I’m sorry...” He coos out apologetically, completely missing the way you’re dragging out the important words.

“Jinhwan, are you even listening to what I said?”

“Yes, yes I am. She’s giving you a lot of trouble. Daddy’s litt- NO, NOO. Seriously? for real?” Midway through that sarcastic voice he does whenever you scold him for not listening, Jinhwan suddenly caught himself smiling like an idiot, disbelief spreading all over the joyous soon to be dad. For the next minute, loud screams emanating from the speaker, uproar of confusion and Lord knows what else went on before a calm Junhoe finally picks up the phone.

“Hey, noona. So Jinhwan hyung is having a meltdown and everyone else is... excuse me.” A torturous sigh left the young boy’s lips before a muffled “Will you all shut the fuck up!” could be heard over the speaker.  “I don’t know why, he’s not even saying anything but they’re just all screaming together. So what’s the prognosis? What are we having?” He returns to that dead tone, no doubt over everyone else’s shenanigans.

“What are we having? jeez, these boys. It’s a little girl, you’re having a niece!” 

“YAH! WE’RE GETTING A NIECE!!! YA’LL CAN GO BACK TO SCREAMING NOW” By the sound of things, Junhoe had also now lost in the celebration as the ruckus only grows louder from iKon’s noise pollution yelping. Hanging up, you shake your head at just how crazy they get but contentment spreading all over your body much like the comfort of a warm hugs thinking about little Peanut, your little daughter is so lucky to have 7 men in her life that will go through whatever length to protect her. You can’t wait till Jinhwan finally arrive home to you and his baby girl. 

You feel like a whale, no, you feel like a whale corpse washed up on the beach, bloated and ready to blow at any freaking second. Why did you agreed to this, why in the world did you agreed to put on a bathing suit even if it’s in the privacy of your own hotel room. You stare then sway back and forth, turning sideway then turning back, there’s nothing you could do to look less like a puffer fish.

“Wow...” A swim trunk clads Jinhwan casually strides in, jaws on the floor as he shamelessly stare in amazement. His eyes boring holes into your body as they shift from head to toe, lingering just a bit too long on your uncomfortably swollen breasts all the while licking his lips as if you’re something delectable. 

“Don’t you dare start, Kim Jinhwan...” You warn with a finger up, hand pulling a throw over your near naked body.

“What? I can’t admire my beautiful, gorgeously hot wife now?” Ignoring the daggers from your eyes, he inches closer, cold hand trailing gently along your bare belly sending shivers through your body. Pulling you closer to his chest, his lips crashing against yours as if you hadn’t kiss in months. 

“It’s mortifying when you stare at me like that.” Mumbling against his lips, you pull a pout that though he loves, Jinhwan hates the reason behind it. You were never one to care about exposing yourself to him, never shy away from embarrassment when he’d just ogles at you in that sinful black dress you wore for his birthday a year ago, in the cheeky little yellow bikini you wore the first beach date, in the giant pizza stained white t-shirt you stole from him in baggy sweatpants when you first moved in together... He just loves to gape at you, unabashedly, a lot, all the time. Yet ever since little Peanut arrived, he’d walk in to find you pulling a bathrobe over yourself, getting annoyed when he’d barge in the middle of your shower as he always did. 

“Why, huh? Is it really that humiliating for you? Why do you keep covering yourself up around me? Baby, If you ask me to describe in detail your lady part, I could probably do it. So why all of the sudden you wouldn’t let me see you naked.” Parting way from the hug, his expression scowl when he looks down to see your hands rather than embracing back, still holding onto the piece of fabric shielding your body away from him tightly. The red throw rips away leaving your bare skin to bask in the warm sun of paradise, Jinhwan pulls your back against his chest in a soul crushing hug, nudging you closer to the spotless floor to ceiling mirror. It was now your turn to sour as you gaze upon your pudgy body, your vulnerably naked pudgy body. “Look at you, smoking hot as a mom.” He pauses for a second, hissing in enjoyment as a finger trailing the valley of your breasts. A soft kiss tingles its way from your nape to your shoulder, before stopping at your collar bone. “I don’t understand, do you not see me shamelessly staring at you all the freaking time? You turn me on so hard even when you’re in that ugly preggo night gown my grandma gave you. Did you know that, baby?” Much to his dismay, you hum a soft “no”. 

“No? Good gracious, I haven’t been doing my job then. I love you no matter what, baby.” His hands left the hold he had around your now nude breasts, tiny red bikini ripped away moments ago just so he could revel himself in the softness of your curve, basking, near moaning as he gives them light squeezes. Nails delicately scrapping along your side, kisses dotting your skin like stars blooming night sky, Jinhwan whispers praises, luring out a whimper from your lips that tell him he had won this battle. He was in a trance, so enthralls in the way your parted lips gasping softly at his every touch, your hands atop his, guiding the pleasure to places you’d crave to be touch for so long. 

“That’s it, sweetheart. Don’t you miss this?”

No word could be form aside from a ragged yes, you could feel yourself shaking in anticipation of what to come. You hadn’t realize how wonderful this was nor how long it had been since you got intimate, after all, being the size of Mars really make sex difficult. Hand smoothing over your stomach, you gasp from the way his erection flushing so pleasurably tight against the curve of your ass, watching with half closed eyes that devilish smirk blooming on his lips.

“Jinhwan!” 

“Yes, baby, I know. Let me take care of you.” Sultry oozing from his tone but right now, you’re not gasping because of the hand he had snaked into our soiled bottom...

“No, no. Babe, stop. Stop for a second.” Your frantic calls tear his heart apart and the worst scenarios rummage through his brain. 

“What’s wrong. Is Peanut okay? Are you okay, baby? Let me call the hospital.” 

“No, I’m fine.” Perplex, he stands there staring at you as if you had just said unicorn is real, you waste no time grabbing his hands in yours, pressing them against your belly. “Feel that?” Still in a confused haze, he cocks his head aside for a second before a smile breaks out on his lips.

“Oh my God, oh my God. Is that... Did she... Holy shit, I’m freaking out.”Hopping in one spot, coitus forgotten, all he could focus on was that strange yet magnificent buzz in his heart feeling your baby move for the very first time. Peanut is the product of you both but thus far, Jinhwan couldn’t help but feel unreasonably jealous being the third wheel to you and your connection with Peanut. He knew there was nothing you could do to let in in but now, he could finally have a moment to himself. 

You had felt tiny bump here and there but always chalked it to your imagination, never once did you tell Jinhwan afraid of how disappointed he’d be not being able to feel anything. Right now, this moment, it solidified yet another big step for you as parents as Peanut rolls and kicks her way into both your hearts. “Hello, little one. It’s dad!” Nothing brings you more joy than watching Jinhwan interaction with Peanut, the way his eyes sparkle with glee as he coos in adoration. “Babe, babe, feel. She kicks more when I talk to her. Hello, baby. It’s daddy. i love you so so much” You chuckle at his reaction, probably too happy to remember the little one is inside your stomach and every kick, every turn you could feel. 

“Move your hand around, she’ll follow.” You suggest, joy breaks out in your heart when he follows and screech in elation when the little rambunctious Peanut’s movements follow. 

“Wait, how did you know that trick? Have you been hiding things from me again. Babbbyyyyy!!!” 

“I’m not, I swear. I’ve never gotten her to move much until today. I didn’t wanna disappoint you that’s all.”

With a fake disapproving scowl, you were completely ignored as your man get back to the important task at hand, getting his little princess go ham with him. Pulling the bathrobe over your naked body, you settle onto the bed and let your husband have his fun. Oh well, at least the little one will have a good sleep after tiring herself out from playing.

“JINHWANNIEEE. Baby!!” 

“Breathe, love, breathe. Like how we practiced.” 

Huffing and puffing over the phone, Jinhwan mentally curses at himself for not taking the management’s offer to sit out of filming for the talkshow when he had the chance. Now riding to the airport listening to your scream of pain, he blames himself for being so careless. Leaving was always hard but this time, something about it bothered him so, perhaps because your range of mobility is that of a 3 months old, perhaps it’s because Peanut arrival date a mere few weeks away. He was antsy, itching to return when he barely boarded even when you had did your absolute best to persuade him everything will be fine until he returns. Well look how it’s all blown up in his face now. He’s so crazy for actually believing his almost 9 months pregnant wife that everything will be fine, everything is not fine! “Love, I’m boarding now. I’ll be back to you and Peanut soon okay? I love you both so much. You’re the toughest woman I know, you’ll be okay. Love you.”

“I love you too. Hurry, babe.” 

Phone thrown aside, your hands rubbing your stomach as if it would sooth the unbearable pain that showing no sign of subsiding, never mind the mess you had made on the living room couch. No class, no advice could possibly have prepare you for the real torturous waves of contraction, to make it so much worse, Jinhwan isn’t here to hold your hand, to tell you that everything is okay. Were you stupid to push him off to work when you knew Peanut could be here any seconds? Who would’ve thought she would come two weeks early with her dad being away of all thing. 

“Little one, come on. Just a little longer, mommy can hold out. Wait for your dad, okay? Be a good girl, wait for your dad.”

You whisper, hoping your baby will understand your desperation as another round on flesh searing pain radiates out. The second you were seated in the wheelchair, fate in the hand of the hospital staffs, you text Jinhwan again even if it can no longer reach the man, you just need for him to know you’re both safe. Somewhere above the city, Jinhwan prays to God to be with you and thankful the trip wasn’t over sea but a mere few cities over. The hour spent on the plane had been the longest hour Jinhwan had ever experienced, the hardest hour even with the long trainee period and two survival shows in his pocket. A throng of texts flooding his phone like a bad omen leaving the man running out of the airport, leaving all his belongings for the other boys to collect. All he could think was you.

“Hi, baby girl.” He whispers over the phone, although not sure why. 

“Jinhwannie... I’m so scare.” That’s why, he thought the second your wavering voice reaches his ear. He has to be calm, now is not the time to panic, not when you’re the one that’s about to shove a human being out.

“It’s okay, love. Listen to my voice, okay? breathe”

At the sweet sound of your husband, your worries and pain almost magically enervate, leaving a serenity to wash over your being. Suddenly the many needles poking at you, the nurse that keep staring at your lady part every few minutes just disappear. Your breath slow when your brain finally registers that soothing velvety voice, he talks about his day, then the dog he had saw, anything really but it calms you. 

“I’m almost there,sweetheart. How’s Peanut, is she being a bad little girl again? Hurting mommy?” 

“No, she’s perfect right now. The doctor said she’s right where she needs to be.” You gasp when another wave of contraction hits, hissing in an effort to hide your panic but as always, your husband knows better.

“Hey, hey, remember. Breathe, come on, do it with me. In and out. I’m at the front, love. I’ll be right there.” 

Phone shoves away, Jinhwan races agains the clock toward the source of his happiness. His heart beats faster with each step he takes but it wasn’t because of exhaustion, but rather the delightful on cloud nine warmth that was spreading over his body. 

“BABY!” he calls out with all the strength he could mustered up but you didn’t believe it at first, refusing to look away from the tiny human that already got both her mom and dad wrapped around her tiny fingers. Jinhwan couldn’t help but shed a tear at the wires attaching to your body, his mind couldn’t even dare to imagine the pain you were in so he did the only thing he could, the best thing he could. Jinhwan pulls your body into his, lips pressing against your slick with cold sweat skin. “It’s alright, baby.”

“Jinhwan! You’re here.” He’s here, he’s really here was all you could think about for a while, snuggling close to his chest. Your emotion run free as tears of happiness and of fear stream from your face leaving you a blubbering mess.

“Hey, shh. Don’t talk, just sit still. This might hurt okay? But it’ll help the pain.” You follow his sight to see a giant needle heading right for your back, jerking away out of instinct. Jinhwan lets you cling on him, squeezing his hands to a point of pain but he only responds with a smile. The small sobs from your lips rip his heart and soul apart but soon, it’ll be all over so for now, he’ll be strong for you.

The next few hours was a blur of the strange quietness of the drug blocking your pain away, Jinhwan watching over as you finally got a chance sleep then the ruckus of nurses and the iKon boys running in and out of the small hospital room. Yet even with all the confusion, all the insane things that was going on during birthing, he could  remember a few things very very clearly - the way your head leaning into his chest for support and that tired but content smile, how he wishes to take this weight off your shoulder watching your feature contort then twist as you use all your strength to push, when your body drop onto the stained bed knowing it was finally all over half crying half laughing, then the most beautiful sound he had ever heard when his baby cry out. 

He’s a dad.

Jinhwan thought little Peanut was the most perfect thing in the world even when she’s still covered in blood and guts. The cute little nose and the way her tiny fingers grasping so tightly around his unlike anything in this world. He hugs her close, settling next to your worn out form, smile never left his face even though his cheeks hurt.

“Look, mama. I’m here” He coos softly, being the pillar and support you need before handing the little bundle over into your arms. “She’s so beautiful, so beyond perfect just like your mommy.” His finger reaches out caressing her fluffy little cheek as Peanut gazes up with her cute doe eyes, a little smile at her lips when her dad voice enveloping her in love. “She has your eyes, baby. Look! even her smile, she got mommy’s smile. Lucky her!” 

“She has daddy’s nose, lips, and beauty mark though.”

Too spent to say much, you lean back and watch the way Jinhwan worship and adore his daughter before with a sadden pout, he hands her back for a bath as the doctor tends to your raw bleeding lower half but not before he presses another delicate kiss on her forehead with a quick “I love you” that had even the nurses melting. You couldn’t feel pain, not because of drug but because of Jinhwan and your daughter. Not once did he leaves your side, checking back every few seconds as you both being wheel into the private of your room. 

A gentle smile creeps onto your lips when familiar faces gathered in front of your room as you passed the threshold, with a wave, you let sleep lulls you into its embrace. Drowsy, worn, you whisper for Jinhwan to introduce the little one as the boys gather around the tiny couch before finally closing your eyes. As you drifting away with the sandman, you could make out a proud father cradling his baby to his chest as he smugly announces her arrival before darkness takes over.

“Uncles, meet little Peanut!”

[ramajmedia]

Game of Thrones: Arya's 10 Best Quotes | ScreenRant

Game of Thrones is brimming with characters that are just as rich and interesting as the historically-inspired fantasy worlds they reside in. Yet, few can match the inspirational and intriguing Arya Stark. A fiery Northern girl, faceless assassin, and lone-wolf fighter, Arya has endured countless trials and tribulations during her odyssey which spans 8 seasons, and the length of both Westeros and Essos.

While she evolves into a ruthless, deadly assassin, she also retains a cunning, charming quality, and has provided some of the show's deepest, most enduring quotes.

So let's unsheathe Needle and slip on our masks as we take a look at Arya's 10 best quotes in Game of Thrones.

Related: 10 Anime To Fill The Void After Game Of Thrones

10 "I'm Not A Lady. I Never Have Been. That's Not Me."

Arya establishes early on in Season 1 to Ned and others that she doesn't want to be a "lady" in the way Westeros society expects her to be. Her turbulent character arch manages to come full-circle when Gendry requests she marry him, so the two can rule the Stormlands together.

Arya reestablishes her independent nature and fighter's spirit by turning down his proposition and informing him that merely existing as the lady to some Lord isn't in her character, nor does it fit into her aspirations. It's a powerful line of dialogue, and largely solidifies Arya's unique sensibilities of non-conformity.

9 "I Can't Sleep Until I Say The Names."

As Arya and the Hound set camp and ready for some sleep, Arya begins to repeat the names of a seemingly random list of people as if it were a laundry list of important tasks to complete, or a math equation to recall.

Though, most who have followed the events of season 1 will be privy to the fact that these aren't just randomly spouted names, but rather the people that have killed her loved ones. They are the people that she has targeted to exact revenge and kill. This is an eye-opening revelation by itself, but it's followed up with this amusing line when The Hound tells her to can it. It shows, in an ever-so-subtle way, just how determined Arya is to get her vengeance, and presents a crystal-clear, singular focus for her character.

Related: Game Of Thrones: 10 Hidden Details About The Costumes You Didn't Notice

8 "Stick Them With The Pointy End."

Arya is partly an embodiment of her father and brother Jon Snow - a fighter with the wolf-spirit of a Stark through and through. This quote stands as one of those enduring, ongoing quotes that Arya speaks which reminds us of her relationship with these Starks.

It was Jon who presented her with the sword she wields, Needle, and gives her this simple instruction in jest. She then tells it to her father, Ned, as a validation when confronted about the dangers of using the sword. Despite its simplicity, this is a charming call-back line that ties Arya to her family and reinforces her fighting nature.

7 "With The Faces, I Can Choose. I Can Become Soneone Else."

During a particularly tense scene that (wrongly) hints of Arya and Sansa's relationship developing a schism, the fiery Stark girl justifies her practice in the guild of the Faceless Men. She even establishes that she can become Sansa if she wanted to, which leads the viewer to question if she would do this? After all, Arya has undergone a somewhat dark transformation and has made a name for herself as a renegade assassin.

Alas, this turns out to be a misdirection, but it does provide a hint of sibling rivalry between Arya and Sansa. It also further illustrates the significance of the Faceless Men as a way to grant her the desire to separate and be someone else.

Related: 10 Things You Didn't Know About The Game Of Thrones Theme Song & Intro

6 "A Bruise Is A Lesson... And Each Lesson Makes Us Better."

In much the same way that the Stark girl quotes lines spoken by her family, she also shows her inspiration and devotion to Syrio Forel by speaking this inspirational line, a variant of "every hurt is a lesson, and every lesson makes us better." 

The bruise analogy certainly fits Arya's dark, tragic history, along with her philosophy of overcoming hardships and becoming stronger through adversity. This quote has become iconic to the point of birthing t-shirts which display this empowering phrase.

5 "I Know Death. He's Got Many Faces. I Look Forward To Seeing This One."

While Arya has little exposure to the White Walkers, even by the opening of the final season, she makes it clear to Gendry that she's not exactly phased by an army of undead. She's had close encounters with death, violence, and has herself slain many at this point, so what's to fear about some ice zombies?

This is a clever quote which reinforces Arya's strength, though it also serves as some foreshadowing for the otherwise surprising ending to "The Long Night" episode of season 8. In it, Arya leaps from the shadows and takes out the Night King, catching him off guard as he zeroes in on Bran. It seems her embracing of death has turned her into quite the effective assassin even managing to kill a manifestation of death itself.

Related: How To Become Death: Arya Stark's Journey Throughout Game Of Thrones

4 "Nothing Isn't Better Or Worse Than Anything. Nothing Is Just Nothing."

Arya learns the mantra of "wiping the slate clean" and existing as "no one" when being initiated into the guild of the Faceless Men. This philosophical food for thought is certainly a representation of her character and place in the world during the middle of Game of Thrones.

Stripped of just about everything and everyone she loves, Arya faces little choice but to lose her own identity. After being trained and occasionally put through the wringer by Jaqen H'ghar and other Faceless Men, she's is finally able to claim to be "no one" with sincerity. It's this training in stealth, evasion, and emotional disassociation that allows her to develop further as a character and accomplish her goals of revenge. When asked who taught her to fight during a sparring match with Brienne, she cleverly answers, "no one." No one, indeed.

3 "The Last Thing You're Going To See Is A Stark Smiling Down At You As You Die."

There aren't many feel-good moments in Game of Thrones that measure up to this bout of vengeance by Arya, especially after the grim events of previous seasons. After many episodes of anticipation building up to Arya's sworn revenge of Walder Frey, we finally see her swift plot come to fruition.

This is an impactful line which displays Arya's cunning as well as her relentlessness of exacting her own brand of vigilante justice. It's a powerful moment for her character and yet another reminder that, despite her innocent appearance, Arya is not to be messed with. It also acts as a satisfying payoff of the trials and tribulations of learning the ways of the Faceless Men as she was able to disguise herself to get to Walder.

Related: 5 Things Lord Of The Rings Does Better Than Game Of Thrones (& 5 Things Game Of Thrones Does Better)

2 "It's Where All The Maps Stop. That's Where I'm Going."

This heartfelt scene near the end of the Game of Thrones finale sees the remaining Stark children parting ways. For Arya, this means getting far away from the tragic losses and misery which she has borne witness. This doesn't mean Essos, but to a distant land never before alluded and apparently not known. She's going "west of Westeros," but beyond this, her destination is not revealed. This illustrates that Arya doesn't strive for the destination, but the journey itself, as well as to "escape" or become liberated.

It is a conclusion which somewhat parallels Frodo Baggins, who is another protagonist seeking to lift their burden. Arya is set to venture on her own, like the lone wolf she is. It's a bittersweet ending for her, but one that feels fitting.

1 "Leave One Wolf Alive And The Sheep Are Never Safe."

One of Arya's few quotes that actually surpasses the impact of her last line to Walder is when she addresses the Frey men disguised as Walder.

While season 7 as a whole received a tepid response from fans, it started off with a bang when "Walder Frey" addresses his men discussing the slaughtering of the Red Wedding bluntly. We soon discover this is not Frey, but actually Arya, as the men holding goblets of wine suddenly drop. The already powerful scene then closes out with this memorable line. It's a neat little Stark-themed allegory that adds the exclamation point to a pivotal scene in Game of Thrones.

Next: Game of Thrones: 10 Best Sansa Stark Quotes

source https://screenrant.com/game-thrones-aryas-10-best-quotes/