#alameda slim

[lyxchee-art]

Idk if I did this accurately

[blackthewolf17]

So this is a little practice at Samanta Erdini's suggestion for my portfolio, All of you cross your fingers that the reason behind this comes true.🕴

[seaslugfanclub]

Maleficent : Bitch give me a fry

(Y/N): Is that how you ask?

Maleficent : Bitch please give me a fry

————————————————————————

Hades: When talking to (Y/N), remember to keep it light and casual. Use our conversation starters if you get in trouble.

Hook: Light and casual, got it.

*5 minutes into at date with (Y/N)*

Hook: IM GOING INTO LABOR

*Jafar watching from the bushes*: He’s pulling the pregnancy card THIS EARLY?!

*Hades watching through binoculars next to Jafar*: If he U-turns the conversation back to cardboard manufacturing we might clutch this

————————————————————————

The other villains: BEHOLD! The town goth has left their house!

(Y/N): Bring me the country music loving farm boy

Alameda: NO! NO NO YALL LET ME GO

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Gothel: Can’t a poor woman like me ever have a little fun?

(Y/N): Yeah, everyone likes to have fun.

Gothel: You like to have fun too~?

(Y/N): I mean—you’re asking about me? I mean, yeah I like too~

Gothel: Oh, yeah~?

(Y/N), annoyed: I already said yes.

————————————————————————

(Y/N): I have 3 dollars and 24 cents. Do something to me

Maleficent: *spits on them*

(Y/N): I love you. I wanna take you away from all of this

————————————————————————

Bill Sykes: They hate to see a bad bitch from New Jersey win

[blueninjablade3]

Disney men are with their S/O on their period.

McLeach

This man has never felt a woman’s touch in his life, dropped out of school in the 3rd grade, and has lived alone for so long I’d be surprised if he knew what a period is. You definitely need to be ready to have to explain EXACTLY what you need. He’s semi-willing to learn! But definitely be prepared to explain your need for a heating pad/ warm water bottle and explain you can't really control your emotions at this time.

4/10- Not the best, but willing to try and be good to you.

Jafar

I feel like Jafar has some pretty sexist beliefs such as periods/ period blood is gross. You aren’t really allowed to even touch Jafar during menstruation. Jasmine and the Sultan had to basically explain to him to be softer to you during shark week. Iago is actually really good to you though, Iago does his best to comfort you, however. I think Jafar does offer you pads or tampons just because he doesn’t want your blood on his furniture.

3/10 he’s not the worst on this list. Wait for Frollo.

Hades

OMG?! KING SHIT! HE'S PROBABLY THE BEST ON THIS LIST! Hades went to the goddesses of femininity and had the concept explained to him, how to help you, and asked you what you need. Doesn’t mind cleaning the sheets if you bled through, has Pain and Panic make you tea, and uses his body as both a heating and cooling pad. Cravings?! You get anything! Hades is the best on this list.

10/10, brilliant, incredible, show shopping, never before seen, iconic. Truly a king.

Rourke

Rourke is hard! I think he knows about it but doesn’t really care. He will be extremely confused about why you sometimes can’t get out of bed due to cramps. Rourke also has a habit of comparing your abilities on your period to others. Such as Helga, or Audrey. Thank goodness for Audrey and Helga though because they shut that shit down FAST! Rourke, I also imagine knows of some stretches that help with cramps. He has trouble dealing with extreme mood swings though as he’s not the most empathetic person, so not the best person to cry to during sadness.

4/10 He’s trying! Just not very hard… hang out with Sweet and Milo they’re much better with this stuff.

Ratigan

Ratigan is another hard one! However, I definitely see him as the type to spoil you rotten during your period. He’s getting your favorite products, having his goons make you hot fresh water bottles, and actually doesn’t mind the mood swings too much. He sorta likes you feisty. Ratigan actually doesn’t view periods as Taboo. I say this because it was a pretty religious belief that periods were divine punishment from god and I don’t think Ratigan is very religious. Ratigan does get pretty annoyed if you bleed onto his sheets or any expensive clothes of yours that he bought.

8/10- He’s not bad at all in this category! It’s just the sheets and clothes thing that keeps him from being a ten.

Alameda Slim

IM FINALLY GIVING THIS MAN THE LOVE HE DESERVES! Alameda seems like the type to be surprisingly gentle with his S/O, he knows that he’s a big strong man who could really hurt his lover if he wasn’t gentle. I think this also transfers to how he cares for you mentally. He knows that periods are uncomfortable and does his best to help you! He’ll go into town as Yancy O'Del to get you the right products (He has no idea what he’s doing and asks a very polite woman to help him), gets you your period craving, and will even yodel to you if want! He does his best to explain to his nephews what’s going on with you and why you’re snippy with them, they don’t understand. But it’s the thought that counts!

10/10- He’s putting in maximum effort, being gentle, and doing his job as a partner. Making you comfortable.

Hook

Dear ole Captain Hook is so lost. He’s never had to deal with a woman on their period before. I, on some level, doubt he knows what a period is. So after you explain the concept and the pain you go through Hook is quite disturbed. Especially if you have a difficult one. He puts in a TON of effort to learn everything he can about periods and how to make them comfortable for you. He gets Mr. Smee to watch over you when he gets too busy. Hook makes you the BEST, most mouth-watering dishes, for you while on your period. He also loves making you tea and hot water bottles to help with cramps.

10/10! For a man from his time, he’s surprisingly a great period caregiver!

Frollo

Oh, I have been DREADING him. This man is the worst. He INDEFINITELY has the sexist beliefs of his time. He won’t let you touch the Bible (which may be a blessing low-key), and Frollo views you as unholy for the entire month and will throw snide remarks about Eve at you. He offers no help.

-637726262737/10- EW EW EW EW GET HIM AWAY FROM ME EWWWWW!

Clayton

ANOTHER BITCH! This man is gonna act all high and mighty during your period. He won’t comfort you, he’s gonna act like he could deal with cramps, and makes jokes about your time of the month. And if you get MAD at him?! He makes snide remarks about women.

2/10- Not worse than Frollo but still a BITCH

Bonus!

Basil Of Baker St.

ANOTHER KING 💅🏻! He doesn’t know too much about periods and such BUT THE EFFORT HE PUTS IN?! He learns everything he can. He learns your cycle if it’s regular, your favorite brand of menstrual products, what medicine you take, and the signs you're going to start. Basil makes sure that one pad or tampon you keep in your bag ISN'T musty, you have medicine, and will sit and listen to your rants.

10/10- He’s an icon, he’s a legend, and he is the moment. Now come on now.

Masterlist

[fancyhats-and-fennelsbuds]

Handsy studies.

Just that. Handy hands.🤡

I would like to thank @icarussmicarus for making me discover how a nice pairing Sarah HawkinsxJohn Silver can be. The ultimate softy warm joy inducing OTP.

[whimsi-clown]

I could not stop the voices from taking over and making this

... I'm feeling thirsty all of a sudden...

(Fanart is based on this fanfic by @seaslugfanclub)

[alinxpg]

I really love Turbo as Alameda Slim, look a this little cattle rustler 🤠

He is ready to steal your cows, but i think one of them will kick him 🐮

[charactersmashorpass-2]

"do you see my vision"

[cosmiconix]

Yo, Slim! Is Rico here?

[chiprewington]

Commission for @judyjudkins, featuring their fursona Oleander Bos with Alameda Slim!

[cuppa-ale]

learning how to draw him

[rourkes-baby-daddy]

The way Rourke looked up was perfect

[blackthewolf17]

Slim definitely needs to offer these ladies a big apology if he even thinks of coming within 5 yards of the farm 🕴

Bonus:

[seaslugfanclub]

Kool-aid Isn’t the Only Thing I’m Thirsty For

Happy 4th of July everyone!

————————————————————————

“Y’know my great grandfather was stationed in France?”

“No shit? My nephew was deployed there.”

“Yeah— Cant remember for the life of me what division he was in, but he was sent back to the states after he blew off most of his fingers.”

“Yeesh.. Makes me mighty glad I missed out on all o’ that! hey- make sure to keep flippin’! These need to be grilled correctly.”

“Don’t tell a man how to use his own grill…”

Sykes, Rourke, and Alameda hovered over the grill, Sykes in charge of the burgers as he shot the shit with the old commander and cow wrangler, a half-smoked cigar hanging from each of their mouths and a chilled beer bottle in hand.

It had been a while since Sykes had celebrated the 4th, but he had subtly dominated the command of the grill. And Rourke was more than happy to piss away time, puffing on his cigar as he talked about old war battles with the two other men.

The sun beat down on the men, who had stationed themselves in the old lot behind the main studio building, both Rourke and Sykes had exchanged their usually stiff outfits for their old wife-beaters. While Alameda wore a simple plaid button up. An old radio played classic yacht rock, sitting atop a splintering picnic table. And a cooler filled with drinks was placed beside the grill, a few spare wasps hovering around the yellowed plastic of the cooler.

“(Y/N)!!!” Sykes hollered, Rourke and Alameda flinching at the noise,

“How're you doing with the Kool-aid!?”

(Y/n) opened the door to the backyard, calling back, “Almost done!!!”

Closing the door, (Y/n) turned towards Medusa, who was finishing mixing the disgustingly sweet drink, limp cigarette between her lips

“Hey, don’t get any cigarette ash in it!” They whined.

“Oh please, I won't! At least the ash would cut back the sugar.” Medusa muttered, sweeping back her dangling American flag earrings.

(Y/n) nodded, pulling on the hem of their denim shorts that stuck to their sweaty skin. “Cool, Imma bring out the ketchup and shit, Facilier, do you wanna join us?”

Facilier, who was draped on the counter across from Medusa, top hat off and slightly fanning himself shrugged,

“Eh, I’m not too big on burgers Chére. And I’m pretty sure drinking even a small glass of that red monstrosity will put me in an early grave.”

“You sure? I brought some illegal fireworks that we’ll be setting off later? You could do the honors of lighting them?”

Facilier paused his fanning, “…Illegal you say? What kind?”

“Oh I’ve got; Snakes, sparklers, firecrackers, M80, black cats, Roman candles, screamin’ Mimi’s, ladyfingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, crap flappers, whistling bungholes, spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker do’s, hoosker don’ts, cherry bombs, nipsa daisers with scooter stick, and whistling kitty chasers.” (Y/n) listed off with their fingers.

…

“….Well, I could never pass up a good ol’ Roman candle… sure. Just let me know when you bring ‘em out.”

(Y/n) laughed, nodding excitedly as they carried out all the condiments, paper plates, and napkins to the backyard, Medusa bustling beside them with the large pitcher of iced Kool-aid.

“I haven’t had a proper July 4th cookout since I was a girl! I still remember my ol’ mother and father screaming over the undercooked hot dogs… Oh, back when this country had proper domestic violence~” Medusa cooed, a nostalgic smile making her eyes squint.

The park attendant gave Medusa the side eye, brows furrowed before shaking their head, (Y/n)’s attention quickly turned towards the large men outside.

They tried not to blatantly stare at how tight Sykes beater was stretched around his chest, or how all of the men’s chest and arm hair were slicked with sweat, OR how an old anchor tattoo made itself known on Rourkes back whenever he flexed, OR OR how good Alameda looked taking a long puff his cigar.

…

“…Meat's back on the menu tonight…” (Y/n) thought to themselves, hoping that the heat could excuse their flushed face.

To break out of there thoughts, (Y/n) shouted to the group,

“Alright! Who’s ready to party!?”

———————————————————————

“What in god's name are they doing?” Hook muttered, watching through the window in morbid fascination as (Y/n) fanatically cheered on Facilier, who had begun to laugh maniacally as he shot off three Roman candles at once.

“Oh it’s that silly American holiday, today. The one where they dress up is garish clothing and raise their cholesterol.” Cruella hisses, already feeling a headache coming on. “I tell you those Americans eat like they have free healthcare..”

“Ugh, a wretched holiday for a wretched country, the traitors..” Governor Ratcliffe sneered.

“Oh, now look at that—” Hook pointed out,

From the backyard, Rourke hands (Y/n) what seems to be a small, multicolored bazooka, a wicked grin on his face as he helps them light the rocket's fuse.

Rourke ruffled their hair, stepping back a few paces to join Sykes and Slim’s side, watching proudly as (Y/n) braces and aimed the rocket towards the sky, shooting a fiery ball high up into the night air, which promptly exploded into a burning flower of sparkles. The firework joking one of many across the dark sky.

“USA! USA! USA! USA!”

…

“…I bet 30 dollars one of them is losing a finger tonight.” Clayton speaks up amongst the crowd of villains watching from inside.

“Aye, make that 50.”

————————————————————————

Just wanted to write a little blurb celebrating the 4th of July! I realized just how little American villains the Disney cannon has, and I wanted an excuse to thirst over Rourke and Sykes in old wife- beaters grilling me a burger🤤.

(ALSO DISCLAIMER!! This was merely written for fun. I love America and I love the beautiful nature it has, but I don’t love the American government.

This was not written with any political intention, only thirst for old men and Kool—aid.)

[rosyrosethorns]

doodles feat. @shiny-self-shipping and @candyheartedchy owo

[fancyhats-and-fennelsbuds]

Meddling and acquainting:

This pub is surely a nice constructive place to have a chat

Yet another slice of villains' life sparked by an animated movie this time that particular Hotel Transylvania's moment

Also why just recently I discovered the funny chemistry that can sprout between Helga and Clayton (Wet patetic man cat vs 24/7 done™️ muscle mummy I dig it)

Oh dear I just noticed some typos in the comic