#aka not the 10 or so ish people that thought they needed to leave bc this blog is dead

[mystery-star]

No, I'm not dead or left.

I just am so busy and tired due to my new job (the job itself is cool tho).

But I'm just not very productive anymore. And I noticed that taking a little break from Tumblr / social media is quite freeing.

My inbox is always open if you wanna talk and I will soon be back with some little goodies I created these past weeks. (not as much as before but hey)

[orcelito]

ok im caving bc i Really like the scene where they meet & idk how long it’ll take to finish this thing SO here’s a snippet of my (informally named) transAction au aka trans akeshu au where they meet when they’re 9/10 ish

Yeah

**

The sun was beginning to set, its orange glow peeking through the towers ahead to the east. With the later hour, there weren't many people remaining in the park. It was a clear sign that Akira should start heading home. 

Upon reaching the bridge to cross the canal, Akira let out a sigh and began trudging across it… only to pause when she realized someone else was on it. 

On the wrong side of the railing sat… a girl. She was perched at the edge, her feet dangling off the side while her hands gripped the bars behind her. She was dressed in the same uniform as Akira, though she was unfamiliar. Her honey brown hair hung just past her shoulders, glinting in the light of the sunset. She sat unnaturally still as she stared down at the water several meters below her. 

Akira registered the tightness of her grips on the bars, then finally realized: Oh, God, she's going to jump. 

Ignoring her now pounding heart, Akira carefully approached the girl. Even as she came to a stop at her side, the girl still didn't react. It was like she was… still deciding. Frozen in indecision.

Maybe I can still do something. 

With this thought in mind, Akira cleared her throat before casually commenting, "The sunset's up there."

The girl startled, then looked up. Akira got one look at those wide maroon eyes (shining almost red in the sunset - beautiful) before they were narrowing in anger. The girl bit out, "What do you want?" 

Akira stared back at her in bemusement. What kind of question is that? Keeping the thought to herself, she just smiled crookedly at the girl. "I was just pointing out where you should be looking. The sunset's much prettier than the water."

Belatedly, she noticed a blooming bruise on the girl's round cheek. It looked fresh. 

The girl furrowed her eyebrows in obvious confusion. "I'm not-" She cut herself off before shaking her head sharply. "You know what? No." Dismissively, she turned to look forwards again. "Go bug someone else." 

Quietly, Akira studied her. Despite the dismissal, her entire body was laced with tension. Her shoulders were bunched up defensively, while her hands trembled with the strain of holding onto the bars. 

… She looked scared. 

Akira peeked over the edge to the water below. It rippled calmly through the canal, obviously slow. It was a bit of a drop, but… "If you want to kill yourself, I don't think this is the place to do it. You'd probably just break your legs or something."

The girl flinched, then curled in on herself. Her voice was tight as she countered, "What do you know? Maybe that's what I want." 

Akira glanced back at her. With her head bowed, her hair draped on either side of her face, hiding it from view. "… I don't think it is. If you wanted it, you would've jumped by now."

The girl abruptly turned to snarl, "Don't talk like you fucking know me, you- you-" Her expression crumpled with a sob, the fight leaving her as quickly as it came. 

Even though this was a stranger, something about the display made Akira's heart hurt. She softened her voice and prompted, "Why don't you come back over the railing, then we can talk about what's going on?"

The girl glared up at her through the tears in her eyes. "Why would you do that for me? You have no idea who I am." 

Akira gave what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "Do I need to? You look like you could use the help." She shrugged. "Besides, I was kinda looking for a reason to avoid going home, too."

The girl studied Akira's face as if she was trying to find an ulterior motive. With the honest addition, though, her eyes softened in understanding. After what felt like forever, she finally mumbled, "Okay."

Clinging to the railing behind her, the girl carefully got to her feet. She turned around, hooked one leg over the railing, then plopped unceremoniously to the other side. She stood a little awkwardly, smoothing her hands along her skirt, before peeking up at Akira. 

Absent-mindedly, Akira noted that the girl was a little taller than her. 

Before she could examine how that made her feel, Akira cleared her throat and thrust her right hand forwards in an offer to shake it. "My name's Akira. Kurusu Akira, though you can just call me Akira."

The girl stared down at the hand like it was a snake poised to strike. She glanced back up without taking it and asked, "Isn't that a boy's name?" 

Akira rolled her eyes. "It can be, but it can also be a girl's name." She wiggled her hand between them, not giving up. "Come on, what's your name?" 

The girl grimaced, but slowly reached forwards to take the hand in hers. "… Akechi." She gave the hand a quick squeeze before dropping it and immediately rubbed her own hands together. 

Akira lifted an eyebrow as she let her hand fall to her side. "Akechi…?" 

The girl - Akechi - stubbornly glared back at her. "Just Akechi." 

Akira waited for a moment, but it was clear that was all she was getting. "… Alright, then." She pointed a thumb over her shoulder. "There's some trees over that way. Do you wanna sit there and talk?"

"… What, in a tree?" Akechi was back to looking at her like she was stupid. 

Akira just grinned. "I mean, if you want. I just think it'd be nicer to be off the path for this."

Akechi stared at her flatly. "… Fine." She reluctantly reached down to grab her backpack, which sat leaning against the railing. Once it was on her back, she huffed, "Just lead the way, I guess."

[taejinfmd-archived]

HELLO / INTRO

hyeri here, and i’m in est — for now, it’s always subject to change so forewarning! anyways, here to re-introduce a younger, less-haggier taejin who is now in titan. tldr; he’s changed into a bit of a fckboy, so take it as is :~) more info under the cut. give this a like and i’ll come your way, or just reach me at dscd: 그래! 이혜리다 임마! 이또라이!#8051 links — profile / biography / plot ideas

background

taejin’s your resident chaebol — only, he’s hidden from the public and nobody really knows his backstory. his parents are really famous big names in korea’s economy, and he has a brother that is also known because his older brother has taken the family business into his hands. taejin, on the other hand, was one of those ‘surprise’ babies, happening 10+ years after his brother. as a result, the family kept him low key and taejin’s background history has been relatively mysterious to fans / general public

he’s basically small-brained, lmao. he’s stupid, really stupid. so, he has no book smarts in him, which lead his family to know obviously, you can’t hand taejin a company even with a field of super qualified advisors. as a result, they decided taejin would shine best as a celebrity, and that’s why he was added to bc’s roster of trainees in 2008. 

taejin didn’t mind it? especially because he had a natural knack for singing, and rapping in bc standards was just easy to pick up. plus, it beat school where he had to memorize random facts and learn math, he was able to do what he wanted to do. aka: go to the dermatologist, learn how to work a camera and sing all day. the worst part about trainee life was probably leaving his lux house for the titan dorms

surprise, taejin debuts in 2011. it’s not really a surprise because taejin always had the thought in the back of his mind that he would debut, regardless of his talents or not (obvs, connections rather than his sheer talent set). but anyways, taejin debuts and he likes titan — not the members, but the general concept of being an idol.

people like taejin, and taejin likes the attention. he’s expected to look pretty on stage, and live this life of luxury — where he gets, minus the busy schedules. that he can manage if it means being praised.

his fan base is predominately female / female presenting because early on, bc put him into the ‘boyfriend’ mold. aka, he’s handsome, knows how to say the right things and always presents it for the fans. that to say, he’s good at fan service and pretending like he really cares about what the fans have to say, and thus that established him early on with a pretty good fan base / akgae base.

bc decided to put him into acting because he had an acting face and titan already had three main vocals, so what was the point in giving taejin a solo debut? so, they put him into his first role where he’s the ‘noona’ lover, and that makes a big hit with the public. enough, that people start to recognize taejin as a good idol-actor rather than something bc pushes.

this after many roles, leaves him into doing more of a wide-range early on. he gets a lot of clout for it? to where now the general public sees taejin more of an actor first, oh and he’s an idol. kind of like how yoona is seen more as an actress even though her name’s closely tied with gg. nonetheless, he does really well in his roles — enough to get him global success with parasite. this is where his fan base really peaked, and bc decided well, we’re not giving you edgy or niche roles anymore. you have no freedom because you’re playing the boyfriend role. hence, he’s stagnated at the moment.

personality

this non-hag taejin is a piece of shit. let me forewarn, he doesn’t care about being the good hoobae, nor does he care about extending a ‘you did well’ to everyone that comes his way. however, that is his public image and idols that have never met taejin face to face and held a conversation for longer than thirty minutes are prone to that illusion.

however, when you really reveal taejin, you get a jeckyl / hyde effect. he’s really ruthless back stage in the ‘i don’t give a f about you or who you are’ type ish. big headed in the sense he thinks his success reigns over yours, and thinks he’s far above idol life still. he’s an ~actor~ how, refer to him as ~kim taejin~ not ~taejin~. as a result, he remains relatively detached from other idols around him.

titan — he really doesn’t have any opinion on the group. yes, it’s annoying to have to go to each and every schedule bc signs them up for because they’re this big selling group. however, that doesn’t mean he’d d word for titan. if anything, they were a stepping stone to his career. nothing more, nothing less. and because titan gave him some base, he owes it to just continue doing the bare minimum on stage (aka, he sucks on stage.) 

in terms of friendships? he’s that friend that might use you, or pull in when you most need it. it depends what kind of dynamic there are — unless, he considers you tight, he’ll only use you to his advantage? and he has no problems with that

in terms of relationship? he’s the guy that’s too lazy to break up with you, so instead he’ll just ghost you till you assume the relationship is over or the type not to commit and use the card “it’s not u, it’s me” and it’s really an excuse to smash other people while stringing you along

he does everything he can to maintain a perfect camera image — it’s a promise to his family, and the fact that it just feels nice to get away with everything behind the scenes while having a harem of people praising everything you do.

aka: he’s not a good guy this time around, but who knows maybe that’s subject to change at some point or another.

plots

referenced here plot ideas

[fistsoflightning]

CHARACTER PROFILE - MUSIC EDITION ♪  | ZAYA QESTIR

For many of us music is a source of inspiration for our characters, so I want to know what songs inspire and/or relate to your muse! Chose between 10-15 songs, compile them into an album and tag some friends to share the beat! 

Songbirds - Ben Thornewill

and i do care / but it hurts too much / and i worry that it’s gonna get too hard / and if i’m not what you need / i promise i’ll play the part

A Safe Place to Land - Sara Bareilles, John Legend

little scared but you’re strong enough / be the light in the dark of this danger / ‘til the sun comes up

Moving Slower - Wavelength

will the future be everything i expect / after everything, will i make a difference

A Big World - Joel Adams

i need a big world / one where the stars still shine

Missing Home - Flora Cash

even though i love the road / i’m missing home somehow

Home - Luke Chiang

lately i’ve been thinking of our memories / all the laughs we shared / and all the tears we cried / hope you know that i’m forever grateful / all the time you shared / staying by my side / thank you for the love

Bones - JC Stewart

and though we are old friends / and drive around the same old bends / we’ve got our whole lives left / so don’t leave your words unsaid

Livewire - Oh Wonder

so hold me when i fall away from the lines / when i’m losing it all, when i’m wasting the light / and hold me when i put my heart in your hands

Come Home - We Are the Guests

i’ll never give this away / oh, come home to me / i’ll sing you to sleep / oh, it is the best part, oh / there’s nothing with wanting / a little bit of freedom / so kick your boots off / and dance like the pine does 

Movement - Hozier

move like grey skies / move like a bird of paradise / move like an odd sight come out at night

Sunlight - Hozier

all the tales the same / told before and told again / a soul that’s born in cold and rain / knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight

trust issues - Caro

i’ll tell you my secrets / good and bad / i trust in you / i hope that you trust me too

Sunkissed - khai dreams

i wanna be your light / in darkness how you find me just in time / to tell me what i needed to hear

Lucky - Chelsea Cutler, Alexander 23

sometimes, i wish you would’ve stayed in my dreams / ‘cause now that you’re real, now i could lose you

Bend & Break - Anna Clendening

you’ve reached your limit / you’re in it straight up to your head / hiding behind those eyes, they’re telling lies instead

tagged by: @gatheredfates; thank you!

tagging: if you’re reading this and you want to share your wol (or other characters) playlist, go for it! this is me tagging you in spirit.

wanna read more about why each song? under the cut bc i don’t hate mobile that much :P

Songbirds goes into Zaya’s general thoughts about being a Warrior of Light; the worry that they won’t be enough when push comes to shove despite all they’ve done. Moving Slower references Zaya’s fear of change, and in a way, ties in with the first song. I personally see A Safe Place to Land as what Zaya knows they should be; in order, the music goes from “what i want to be” -> “what i know i must do” -> “what i am right now”, referencing a quote from... Sebille, in Divinity Original Sin 2... only in structure (ish) but... yeah. whoops?

ANYWAYS, A Big World and Missing Home are opposites; on one hand, Zaya dreams of exploring and adventure (your average case of wanderlust), but on the other, they miss Reunion dearly (your average case of homesickness). Home is about how much Zaya loves their fellow Warriors and Scions after all they’ve done and lived through together, while Bones is about that same friend group opening up to each other, which I think represents SHB pretty well. Livewire holds the implication that Zaya’s friends are the “lines” holding them up, and I imagine this as the “theme song” for the lvl 79-80 SHB MSQ for... reasons.

Come Home and Movement are both about some of Zaya’s other occupations (bard and dancer respectively) with references to dancing and singing, and get pretty close to the heart of Zaya’s ideals; freedom. Both songs are pretty wild and energetic, too, so added bonus! 

Sunlight, trust issues, Sunkissed, and Lucky. YOU GOT ME. It’s all about Zaya’s relationship with Thancred; Sunlight describes the slow grasp on love and hope that both of them get after a long time (cough cough HW cough) despite knowing the risks. trust issues is something I’ve thought about for a while now; Zaya and Thancred having little secret sharing sessions! Zaya, for all intents and purposes, hates it when people have to lie to them, and Thancred is a very secretive sort of character; this is how I hypothesized their friendship would actually start. Sunkissed (aka the mandatory happy upbeat song) is in here due to a certain piece of fanart (@/morika’s piece captioned ‘this time, you are the light in the dark’) that describes how Thancred saves the WoL in SHB (technically with the other Scions but he got the dramatic climbing the arm scene lol) in comparison to the WoL saving Thancred in ARR. Lucky is about the fear from both sides that their lives as a Warrior of Light or Scion will lead to them losing the other, because who wouldn’t when one faces off primals daily and the other goes into enemy territory for weeks at a time?

Bend & Break, the final song on the list... it’s from Thancred’s point of view about Zaya during the whole of SHB. Zaya refuses to tell the Scions about the Light that is certainly killing them even from just Holminster Switch; the feeling is there from the start. Thancred, who is probably one of the more perceptive characters, can see Zaya slowing down, taking longer to recover, hence “hiding behind those eyes.” He knows, they know; one of them just has to admit that Zaya’s time is running out.

AAAAND THAT’S IT THANK YOU FOR READING MY RAMBLING WAAAAH

[tatselk]

TVC: Thoughts on Blood Communion

I didn’t think that I would miss the aliens in PLATROA but now I kinda do, since they would have added some much-needed material to fill the pages of this book. Overall score: 3/10. 

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

One of the highlights of the book was probably the introduction of the ridiculously charming Mitka (AKA Candidate No. 1 for the role of New Marius AKA Lestat’s No. 1 Candidate for turning the Loustat OTP into a Loustatka OT3). I hope he doesn’t die, disappear too soon or turn out to be The Next Villain in TVC (coughRhoshcough).

Another highlight was all the dark and gory details in BC (e.g. Benedict’s suicide, Rhosh’s murder, what Rhosh did to Gabrielle, Louis and Marius). They reminded me of TVC in its earlier days, rather than the bureaucracy (operations of the Vampire Court, ‘nuff said) and sentimentality (“Look at all these people who miraculously survived and got back into contact with us after years of silence and separation! And even if they didn’t survive, they came back to us as conscious ghosts who cobbled together a physical body for themselves!”) which have been taking over the latest TVC books.

Baudwin was actually shaping up to be an interesting villain when Mitka explained how he opposed/ didn’t buy into the idea of the Vampire Court etc. But his side story abruptly fizzled out when he turned out to be little more than a plot device to introduce Gundesanth (i.e. Candidate No. 2 for the role of New Marius).

Weirded out by how the Vampire Court operates. It is like a mash-up of the beliefs/ practices of the Children of Darkness/ Satan and the court intrigues/ entertainments in the TV series Versailles.

The Court’s “human snack prison” scheme also raises so many questions. Like what gives the Court the right to pass judgment and kill in this way, other than the fact that the vampires drink blood and are physically strong enough to overcome mortals? How does the Court even decide whether someone is “bad enough” to end up in this prison in the first place?  On a side note, Lestat, why did you just sign so much stuff to create this prison without really reading or questioning these documents AND without even knowing that this prison was being built?! [internal screaming]

The only thing that I found more disturbing than the “human snack prison” scheme is the Replimoids’ idea of continuous cloning of themselves to possibly eventually create docile servants and/ or an endless supply of blood for the vampires. Aside from the horrific, “Brave New World”-ish vibe about it, is this Cloning Factory thing is going to form the plot of the next book…?

Barbara’s complete dedication to the management of the Vampire Court was slightly unnerving. Like why is she apparently so down with spending her precious immortality doing endless administrative tasks? Also, why did everyone fall so readily in line with her whole “vampire servants” idea? Were all these “vampire servants” really that eager/ willing to be subjugated by the other (presumably older/ more powerful) vampires in this way? Or were they mostly just afraid of being thrown out of the Vampire Court and being attacked/ killed by rogue vampires if they didn’t comply with this? Is it possible that they were “convinced” to do this by some of the other vampires through some telepathic razzle-dazzle? Also, is this whole “vampire servant” thing going to be an established apprenticeship-like rite of passage for younger/ fledgling vampires at the Vampire Court now?

Slightly distracted by the fairly constant roll-call of the vampires who are at the Vampire Court. Especially when they are sitting down to meetings. Would have preferred fewer characters being mentioned and more in-depth information being given about their dialogue, actions, thoughts etc. so that more of the vampires are actually relevant to the advancement of the overall plot.

Despite his outbursts, Armand seems to be one of the few characters in this book who acted rationally. Being worried about the Replimoids? Calling out Lestat on his BS? Why not? In fact, why isn’t anyone else doing this?! I repeat, for the stuff that Armand did/ was put through in the recent books, he should be given a title like Duke of the Vampire Court or something.

Marius, I think you need a hobby. And no, being cold and/ or hostile towards the other vampires, including your own fledglings, isn’t a hobby. Helping to build a “human snack prison” doesn’t count either.

Where’s Daniel??? Is he alive or dead? Is Daniel off on his own adventures somewhere else since Lestat literally made no mention of him in this book? How are things between Daniel, Armand and Marius now? Did Daniel leave Armand (following on from what we know in PLATROA)? Did Marius pettily exclude Daniel from that mural which he painted, in retaliation for Daniel leaving Marius for Armand?

Viktor and Rose continue to be cardboard cutout characters.

[your-iron-lung]

No Shade in the Shadow of the Cross 9

aka ‘Buried in Water’; available to read on A03 HERE

Story Synopsis:  Some weird low-key occult parties start popping up that Steve can’t in good conscience ignore and takes it upon himself to investigate. Billy gets caught up in the consequences of his meddling, and isn’t it funny? For all the strange things the Upside Down has thrown his way, it’s werewolves that Steve has trouble accepting exist.

Chapter Word Count: 5197

Pairings: Eventual Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington

Genre: Supernatural/Drama/Horror-ish

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Next Chapter: 10

Notes: bit of a shorter chapter here lads, but i want the next chapppie to be ENTIRELY FOCUSED on whats gonna happen next  bc buddies. pals. friends and amigos. its gonna be real gud. 

i hope none of u reading have that fear of looking out of a window in the dead of night only to find something standing there staring back in at you :^) youll see ;)

'Liminal' was not a word that existed within Steve's lexicon, but even so, it was the word that best fit how he felt sitting there in Billy Hargrove's curiously empty home, watching him pace the floor in front of him. He was talking, speaking energetically, but Steve wasn't listening; he was finding it hard to focus, too distracted by the revelation of werewolves to actually comprehend what he was being told. It was like his brain had gone numb, blanketing his mind in indifference as he studied the bandages covering the invisible wounds over his hand.

"-I don't know anyone in this hick town, so I'm going to need you to-"

A monster, Billy had said. Another goddamned monster running around loose in Hawkins, terrorizing the youth because why the hell not? They might as well change the slogan of the towns 'now entering' sign to read, 'Welcome to Hawkins: Monster Capital of the U-nited States'.

Billy kept talking, but his words continued to fall on selectively deafened ears as Steve wondered about who he ought to tell. Who the hell would even believe him? The kids, probably; Dustin definitely. But would they be enough to help him? And then, what were they meant to help him with? Exterminating Billy Hargrove? While he was certain they'd jump to arms for a chance to eradicate him, this wasn't a monster problem he felt could be solved by bludgeoning it to death like the last two had.

"-I don't know anything about this shit, but, I think that'll be enough."

"What-" Steve spoke slowly, brow furrowed as he tried to bring himself out of the introspective daze he'd worked himself into. He shook his head a little bit and ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry, what'd you say?"

Billy had stopped pacing and was waiting to hear the feedback on whatever idea he'd come up with in the time that Steve had been spacing out. A cigarette was hanging limply out of his mouth, smoke filtering through his lips. "Have you not been listening to a goddamned thing I've been saying?" he growled, frowning sharply when he realized Steve really hadn't. "Before we do anything, I said we need proof."

"Proof…? Proof of what?"

"Holy shit, what the hell are you being so damn spacey for?

"I said I don't know anything about werewolves except for what that b-movie showed me, and even then, how much of that is based on fact? It's just a fucking movie. Maybe this healing of my arm is enough proof that it was something supernatural, but what if that's just like, I don't know, a side-effect of being bitten?" He began pacing again, rambling as he walked back and forth in front of the small couch Steve was sitting uncomfortably on. He smoked the cigarette down to the filter but kept sucking on the butt end, focused entirely on finishing his thought. "Maybe it ends there, and I'm not actually infected or cursed or whatever. Maybe this is all that'll happen with me, but maybe there'll be more. I don't know anything about this, and from the look on your face you know about as much as I do, which is jack shit."

"So, research," Steve said. The idea that he was sitting in on a lecture made him want to laugh; no wonder he'd spaced out so hard earlier. "You want to do research? Go down to the library and have ourselves a good old fashioned study session?"

"Fuck research," Billy said decisively, snarling at Steve's retort. "You can do all the research in the world and still have people who don't buy into it. Fuck that. I don't want research, I want proof. Hard proof. Evidence that can't be refuted."

"Your arm-"

"-isn't proof enough for me," Billy finished, coming to a standstill and glowering at Steve. "And won't be for anyone else who didn't see it before, Jesus, Harrington, you really aren't a good learner, are you?"

"For a guy who was trying so damn hard to get me to believe in all this, you're being awful stubborn when it comes to your own convictions," Steve snapped. "So what, then? What'll be enough?"

Billy studied him quietly, a smoldering expression of pent up exasperation clouding his features. He didn't speak right away, causing Steve to want to fidget under the scrutiny, but he remained still.

"That," Billy finally said, pointing to the TV behind him where they'd paused the movie again on the transformation scene to study and compare the beast. "That'll be enough. When the next full moon comes, then I'll be satisfied."

Of course he was right. There was only one definitive way to settle the question of whether or not Billy actually was a werewolf now, and that meant waiting to see if he transformed under the influence of a full moon. Initially the idea of that seemed ridiculous to Steve, but when he thought about it, he wasn't sure why that notion should be ridiculous to him at all- he'd definitely seen stranger things. If horrific flower-faced monsters that were born out of the depths of some alternate universe could exist and somehow crawl their way into a universe they didn't belong in, then why couldn't werewolves be real? By comparison, werewolves had more rights to exist than the demo-whatevers; at least they belonged in their world.

The digital watch strapped to Billy's wrist began to beep, loud and insistent. Glancing at the display, Billy's face hardened imperceptibly. His eyes flickered to Steve momentarily before he shifted his view to the front door.

"So you're content to wait it out till then?" Steve asked, standing up as Billy walked by him and to the door, glancing out one of the street-facing windows briefly.

"No, but I fucking have to," Billy muttered, eyes scanning the street before he looked back at the readout on his watch. "It's not like we can force the moon to come early. We need a damn plan. Well, I had a fucking plan, but you tuned that right out, didn't ya?"

"A plan for what?"

Turning away from the window, Billy appeared both excited and apprehensive. He was smiling, baring his teeth and running his tongue along their edges, but it seemed to stem more from nervousness than anything else. Steve's first thought was that he looked like a caged animal ready to defend itself, and an uneasy feeling settled into his gut.

"For if I'm right, Christ, why don't you listen? Now get the fuck out of my house, we'll talk about this later."

Billy's dad came home a mere ten minutes after Steve left, angry and without reason for it. He never seemed to need a reason to be angry these days though, and as he felt his father's rage strike him, Billy imagined that Neil must have somehow known all along about Billy's secret meeting with 'that Harrington boy'. The assault was deserved, one way or another, in his father's eyes.

Later that night, Billy came down with another fever. The cause of it wasn't clear to him, as it could've been a myriad of different things, but regardless, he felt its exhausting effects and had to turn in early.

A great heat consumed him, troubling him when he found he couldn't stop sweating; repenting for the sin of having brought another boy into to the house by perspiring to death. The fever was so terrible that when he finally tried to lie down to sleep, wearing only his underwear and lying overtop of the bedcovers in a home that couldn't afford to run the heat in the winter, he opened his bedroom window so that the chilling breeze might offer him some respite.

It was soothing enough to allow him to rest, but his skin remained sticky and sheen when he finally did close his eyes. His sleep was light, due in part to the fever he couldn't stop sweating out and owing also to the nightmares that had begun to plague him recently, offering him horrific visions of what his future might hold in store for him if he didn't figure this 'werewolf' thing out.

It was two hours after he first fell asleep that Billy woke from one of the nightmares with a deep, shuddering gasp, and for a moment as he lay there panting, he thought it likely that he had woken himself up.

He was cold now, the fever abated as he lay shivering in the freezing breeze that flooded in from his window. Some snowfall had accumulated on the sill, leaving small little puddles as they melted down. He was disgusted to note how sticky he'd become as his bedcover stuck to his back when he sat up. When he reached back to peel the fabric from his back, he heard a noise like someone walking- no, running- through the snow outside, a dark blur against the blackness rushing by his window.

Billy froze in place, slowly turning his head to look out the window. His heart rate slowly began to pick up as he heard the shuffling footsteps of something creeping around out there, running in circles. He took in a deep breath to calm himself and realized, suddenly, that he could smell it- a rotting, fetid scent was wafting in on the winter air as the beast outside ran laps around his home.

His blood ran cold in an instant, and for a moment, he didn't know what to do.

'Let's say it is real,' he could hear himself telling Steve all those nights ago. 'What's to stop it from just following you home?'

It had tracked him down, using the pheromones or whatever hormones his fever sweat had exuded to find him at home with the window open, practically inviting it inside to kill him in his sleep.

The darkness of his room was unsettling as he listened to it snuffling around, taking in huge breaths as it skulked around in the night. Carefully and as quietly as he could, Billy slowly began to swivel his legs off the mattress, unsure of what he was going to do but knowing instinctively that he couldn't sit still for it to just find him. His feet touched the cold, hardwood of the floor and he almost recoiled at the freezing touch, and as childish as the thought was, he couldn't help but fear that something was going to reach out from underneath his bed and grab his ankles before he could do anything to combat the monster that was now hunting him.

The noises outside stopped for a moment, as though the creature could sense that Billy was on the move. He himself stopped moving, heart pounding in his chest even as he tried to convince himself that whatever was outside was just a large dog or something; a sick deer just trying to find a bite to eat underneath his window. He couldn't move his eyes away from that deep, dark square of night that was framed by the window as he sat paralyzed on the edge of his bed, and distantly he realized he'd begun to sweat again.

Just as he started to think that perhaps whatever it was had left, threatened by the thought of pretty that could fight back, he heard it again, but instead of an animals feet padding softly through the snow, foraging for sustenance that could not be found, the sound of something hard and sharp clacking against the sideboard of his house began to make his hair stand on end.

It was climbing; scraping its claws alongside the house as it tried to make its way into the open window.

Coming for him.

As strong as he knew he was, Billy felt terribly weak in that moment, unable to contain his panic. He shot up from the bed, disregarding the instinct that told him to just fucking run out of there as fast as he could and instead found himself lunging forward for the window, slamming it down hard enough to shake the frame as thought it would be enough to protect him.

With his heart pounding he stared out into the darkness, face mere inches away from the glass pane he knew wouldn't be enough of an effective barrier to keep it out.

There was no movement from the other side. The night was utterly and completely still; a void of darkness kept at bay by thin glass. It was stupid of him to sit there and keep watch, he knew, but he had to be sure it was gone. Being as scared as he was made him feel like a powerless child, and if he could write this incident off as just another vivid dream, then he'd be far better off for it. Still, nothing moved as he sat there, though the glass had begun to fog up, making it hard for him to see anything. Billy wiped at it with his hand, mistakenly thinking his own heavy breathing had caused the condensation, and found himself rendered immobile yet again when the beady red eyes of the beast surged into focus.

Billy stared transfixed as dread consumed him, rooting him in place, his hand pressed to the cold glass. He couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't do anything but watch as the werewolf grinned, spreading its lips in a wide snarl to show off all its teeth, taunting him, challenging him.

I will see your flesh torn asunder, boy; ripped to pieces, chunks in my jaw, your bone between my teeth, down my throat, your blood boiling in my belly.

With a scream rising up in the back of his throat, Billy did bolt then, shooting himself off his bed and launching himself away from the window that the creature was perched at, waiting to bust in and fulfill its promise. He collided against his closed door with a thud, and he fumbled with the handle, trying to open it without taking his eyes away from where he could see it, opening its wide mouth, exposing more, so much more as it pressed its gnarled hand against the glass to finally break through-

His door came open suddenly, spilling him out into the darkness of the hallway to land on the cold floor, chest heaving as he scrambled, trying to get to his feet but unable to find enough traction to set him straight.

"Billy?"

He almost let out a shout when he heard Max say his name.

"What're you doing on the floor?" Her voice was tired and her eyes were heavily lidded with exhaustion as she stepped out of their shared bathroom, the sound of the toilet's weak flush gurgling behind her. She yawned and rubbed her face, waiting for a response to justify his weird behaviour.

He opened his mouth to speak, but his voice was gone. Instead he swallowed, and turned away from her to look back at his window, afraid of what dark, horrible shape would be crawling through it.

But there was nothing to be seen; the monster was gone, if it had truly ever been there at all.

"What're you looking at?"

Max stood behind him, peering into his dark room curiously when he didn't answer her question.

"Go back to your room," he finally said, though his voice was hoarse and he had to repeat himself.

"What are you, the hall monitor? I had to piss," she said, using the snarky tone of voice she reserved only for him. "What are you doing on the floor?"

"I'm not," he replied, finally finding the strength required to get to his feet.

"Well, you were."

"I'm not now, am I?" Billy snapped irritably, turning a mean look on her. Despite his fright, he was careful to keep his voice low. The last thing he wanted to do now was to wake up his father in the middle of the night. "Get the fuck back in your room and go the fuck to sleep."

Max rolled her eyes and didn't move, lingering in the hall. She looked away from Billy's room and back towards her own, biting at her lip.

"I heard something outside," she said at last, speaking quietly. "Something was running around outside the house. It woke me up, but I couldn't see anything when I looked. Too dark."

"Just a dog," Billy replied, swallowing hard, hoping she didn't hear the waver in his voice. He wasn't able to meet her eye as he said it. "It was just a dog. I yelled at it and it ran off, okay?"

"A dog?" Max had an alarmed look in her eye. "What kind of dog? Did you get a good look at it? How big was it?"

"I don't know, what does it matter? It was just some stray," he said. "I told it to fuck off and it did; it's gone now, so go back to sleep you little shit before you wake someone up."

"You're the one shouting at animals in the middle of the night," Max bit back, but despite her attitude, she still looked worried. "You're sure it was a…? Nevermind, whatever, I'm going back to sleep," she grumbled, and turned away to go back to her room, shutting the door just hard enough to let Billy know she didn't value his authority.

Alone in the darkness of the hall, Billy's eye was drawn back to the window. He wondered where the thing had crawled off to, and if it would be coming back. More timidly than he would have liked to admit, he stepped back into the cold enclosure of his room and quietly closed the door behind him.

"Hey, Steve, man, I really just wanna thank you again for offering me a ride home," Dustin said, already breathing hard. In his arms was a box full of the things he'd used for his final presentation in whatever science class he'd taken that semester, the weight of which was cumbersome enough to have him struggling to carry it. Ordinarily, Steve would have offered to help him carry it, but he wasn't thinking straight.

'Later', as Billy had said at the start of the weekend, had ended up being earlier that morning on the first day of finals. Cornered in the bathroom (the fucking bathroom, of all places), Billy had locked the door and sequestered them in the math halls men's room during the downtime between finals. He'd lit a cigarette and leaned against the stained porcelain sink, his shirt unbuttoned and open to accommodate his sling, and told him about his plan. It had been a simple one, but they wouldn't be able to see it through alone.

They needed a private place; somewhere they could quarantine Billy in case something really did happen with him, and the closer it got to the next full moon, the more Billy seemed convinced that something would happen.

"My teeth're starting to come loose," he'd admitted reluctantly, averting his eyes as he ran his tongue along them, prodding at the loose ones in agitation.

"Y'sure that's not just bad dental hygiene?" Steve had joked, but his remark had only been met with scorn.

"Just because I live in a hick town doesn't mean I'm going to become a toothless hick," Billy had snapped, but even through all his bravado, Steve felt he could sense his fear. "I brush my damn teeth Harrington. I take care of my appearance. And it's not just one tooth," he'd said as he rinsed the cigarette butt under a stream of water, putting out the cherry before flicking it into the can, "it's all of them."

On top of that, Billy had seemed haggard when they'd spoken; there was an overall dullness to him that suggested he hadn't been sleeping well lately, but they weren't at the point in their fucked up relationship where he felt he should ask about it. Instead he'd simply agreed to Billy's plan; it wasn't like he'd come up with a better one, but it meant he'd have to drag someone else into their mess. For as large and private as his home was, it didn't offer what Billy felt they needed.

But he knew Dustin's did. He'd been there before; seen with his own eyes what it could contain.

"I really owe you one," Dustin wheezed, his voice sounding strained and distant, and Steve was surprised at how far he'd managed to fall behind him in their trek through the parking lot. Coming out of his ruminations, he turned in time to watch as Dustin nearly stumbled through the gravel, trying to reclaim his balance quickly before he spilled the contents of his science project into the soggy earth.

"Whoa, hey, let me get that," Steve said, backstepping to relieve Dustin of his burden. The box was heavier than it looked, and nearly fell through his unprepared arms as he took it from him. "Geeze, man, you bring your whole damn chem set in or what?"

Dustin whistled in relief before replying.

"Had to, turns out students aren't allowed to use any of the school's equipment on the last day of class because no one wants to stay late to clean it. Myself included, obviously."

"Well that's bogus," Steve absently said, to which Dustin agreed.

"Tell me about it," he bemoaned, cracking his back as they approached Steve's car.

Setting the box of Dustin's things on the rear of his car, Steve dug his keys out of his coat pocket and unlocked the doors. He set the box carefully in the back seat, making sure it was stable enough not to tilt and spill if he took a turn too fast, and stepped back to see Dustin staring curiously at the ugly seat cover stretched over the front passenger seat.

"What's with that? Having some work done?"

"Something like that," Steve replied dismissively. He'd tell Dustin about it later, but for now he didn't want the kid worrying about anything he didn't have to. "But uh, speaking of owing me one, I need to talk to you about cashing that in."

"What, already?" Dustin looked a little surprised, but Steve could only shrug lackadaisically. "When I said that, you know, I kinda figured that you'd be cashing it in waaaay off in the very distant future. Or you'd forget I said anything at all, so I wouldn't have to actually do anything."

Steve laughed, but it sounded forced, and Dustin frowned a little bit at the harsh sound of it.

"I promise I wouldn't actually ask you to do something for me unless it was important. Get in so I can turn the heater on and we can talk about it."

A look of contemplation crossed Dustin's face briefly before he got in the car, preemptively putting his seat belt on as Steve started the engine and cranked the heater on to its highest setting, the airflow tousling his hair. Dustin didn't like the way Steve's brow kept creasing, or the way Steve had seemed so distant during the walk from the school building to the car. And now he wanted to talk.

"So, talking?" Dustin prompted.

"I need to borrow your basement," Steve said, coming right out with the request instead of wasting both of their time by trying to make it not sound weird. There was no easy way to say it.

Dustin blinked; an owlish and slow movement that, for a moment, made Steve feel like Dustin suddenly knew everything.

"I don't have a basement," he said instead. Steve balked.

"Bullshit," he said. "You dragged me back there to kill that lizard pet thing of yours that one time."

"Cellar," Dustin corrected, enunciating the word slowly and precisely. "I don't have a basement, I have a cellar. Mike is the one with the basement, dingus."

Taken back momentarily, it was Steve's turn to blink dumbly.

"Well what the hell's the difference? Nevermind, don't answer," Steve said, speaking quickly as Dustin opened his mouth and took in a breath to begin explaining. "Fine, cellar, whatever; I need to use it."

"What for?" Dustin asked suspiciously. "Wait. Are you planning on throwing an end of semester party? Why not just use your house? Or is it themed?"

"No, man, it's not a party; like I said, this is important," Steve stressed, growing impatient with the way the conversation was developing.

"Parties are important, Steve; you taught me that."

Groaning loudly, Steve tossed his head back and stared up at the roof for a moment.

"Okay, yeah, they are, but this is a different kind of important, okay? Like, it's for something serious," he continued, hoping Dustin would understand without telling him too much. "Trust me, if I was trying to throw a party, the whole school would have known about it by now. Just, loan me your basement."

"Cellar," Dustin corrected again, but without any of his usual haughtiness.

While Dustin wouldn't say Steve was dumb, per se, he would have to say that he wasn't exactly… subtle. Analyzing Steve's behaviour, and knowing what he'd used his own cellar for in the past, it was easy to come to the conclusion that Steve wanted to utilize the space in much the same way he himself had done when he realized Dart was growing up to be something of a problem child. Steve didn't want it for recreational use, but instead wanted it so he could contain something. Even before they'd gotten into the car, Steve had seemed tense, as though he'd been steeling himself to have this conversation, further justifying his line of thought.

"Steve," Dustin asked slowly, turning in his seat a little bit and scrunching up the fabric of the seat-cover to face his friend, "is this a code red?"

Meeting Dustin's eye, Steve saw that he was finally taking their conversation seriously. A graveness had overtaken his usually carefree expression, and he hated the way it made his young face seem to age.

"I don't know yet," he answered honestly, sighing and adjusting the air vent so it wasn't blowing heat directly on him anymore. "It might not be, but it potentially could be."

"Oh, Christ," Dustin groaned, slouching back in his seat and staring out forlornly through the windshield. "I thought we solved all this when El- Jane- closed the rift. What is it this time? More dogs? An Upside Down puppy? Shit, is it a cat?"

"No, no, it's nothing like… nothing like those things from before," Steve was quick to say, but wasn't sure how much information he should divulge. After all, like Billy said, it might not be anything, except… Except he had symptoms now. "If it was, I definitely would've said something about it before now."

Mulling the answer over in his head, Dustin then asked: "Does it have to do with the bear attack?"

Sitting back in his seat, Steve sighed and glanced up into his rearview mirror. Billy was there, a distant, lone figure, but he was there, and he was watching, waiting for him to secure a spot where they would be safe to test their theory.

"I can't tell you right now, but I promise it's nothing I can't handle."

"Alright," Dustin said after a moment, though he sounded dubious. He was frowning deeply, lost in his own thoughts before he said, "When will you know for sure? After you use the cellar? If we need to assemble the rest of the party, I can-"

"No, no, don't uh, 'assemble the party' just yet," Steve said. "I don't want to alarm everyone only for it to be a false alarm, you know?"

"Christ," Dustin mumbled again, looking miserable as he slowly began to slouch in his seat. "Okay, fine, you can use my cellar for whatever fucked up containment bay you need it for, but you have to tell me what the hell's going on afterwards, okay?"

"I will, man, I swear."

"Shit." Dustin heaved a sigh and sat up, rising out of his slump. His seat belt clicked noisily, locked into place as it refused to let out anymore slack.

Steve watched him undo the belt and re-buckle it with a hint of amusement. He hated that he had to give Dustin reason to worry, but at least school would be over soon, and they wouldn't have to split their focus and try to decide which was more important.

"Think I can take the loan out on your cellar this Friday?" he asked after Dustin had resituated himself. "And look man, you and your mom? You guys can't be there. Think you can arrange to get out of the house for the night?"

Groaning loudly, Dustin eventually nodded.

"My mom's been telling me over and over we need to go visit her sister," he said. "Aunt Connie hasn't seen my teeth since they came in and wants to see them; the only girl alive who wants to see them and it's my aunt."

Steve laughed earnestly at his comment, and when Dustin caught the look of honest amusement on his face, he cracked a grin too.

"But the worst part? You wanna know what the worst part is, Steve? She pinches, man! I'm gonna look like I have blisters on my face when I get back!"

Steve cackled with delight, picturing Dustin's face pinched so hard his cheeks would be naturally rosy for days afterwards.

"Hey, I'm real sorry about that; I'll take you out to lunch or something when you get back, alright?" he said, feeling the burden of having to put Billy's plan into motion lift from his shoulders. They had their spot secured; now they only had to wait for the weekend to use, and then, if they were lucky, they would be able to move on.

"Oh, you'll be owing me much more than that if I survive," Dustin muttered, grinning cheekily as Steve finally put the car into gear and began to drive them out of the lot.

"Here's hoping," Steve said with a wink.

[vjjeons]

whaddup!! i’m acacia (satan). i’m twenty years old, i use she/her pronouns and i hail from the pst timezone! i’m super excited to be in a lil ol’ group again because i haven’t been in one since like… idk?? but enough about me — let’s get to the good stuff aka my girl, veronica jeon. it gets pretty lengthy, so if you just want the overall version of it just scroll to the very end! anyways, if you like this, i’ll take it as an invitation to IM you for plots, so be careful!! ♡

jennie kim + cis female + she/her — have you met veronica jeon? they are a twenty-one year old artist/barista known as the philophobic. a pansexual scorpio, they are independent + bold, as well as stubborn + cynical. their soulmark is a crescent moon on the left ring finger, and they can feel the emotions of their soulmate.

BACKGROUND + TRIGGER WARNINGS: abuse, death, drugs

to kick things off, veronica grew up with just her mother around. her father had always been MIA. so, she doesn’t have a lot of memories involving him. therefore, her mother dated an array of men. often times neglecting her daughter, with the exception of the times she brought in successful report cards.

when she was thirteen, her mother married a man who physically abused veronica any chance he had. especially when mrs. jeon started cheating on him. so ronnie recoiled around her art for a few years.

being alone as an only child, she had to keep herself entertained. she started off by doodling with just a pencil. but, eventually expanded with acrylic paints and water colors. thus ultimately discovering her love for the arts!! 

she isn’t exactly sure how she’s going to find a successful career path through her beloved hobby. which is why she picked up her job as a barista to make some actual cash flow.

when veronica turned sixteen, she thought of tracking down her father in hopes of reuniting with him. this lead her to her grandmother’s house. who eventually had to break the news that her father had died from a drug overdose before she was born.

though, the news was shocking. it didn’t leave her feeling empty. instead, she found something better — her grandmother. she instantly connected with the woman and eventually found herself making her grandmother’s home as a sort of safe haven.

her grandma even supported her with her arts. buying her any supplies she needed and giving her suggestions on places she can find more muse. basically fulfilling the mother role veronica desperately needed.

but one day while visiting, the woman had passed in her sleep. this took a toll on ronnie considering how attached she became to her grandmother and her home. she would have to return back to her mother’s and her step-father. when she went back, the man attempted to abuse her again. however, she ratted him out. ultimately sending him to his imprisonment.

once she turned eighteen, her mother had packed up her things and left the girl behind. though, ronnie was fazed by the woman’s actions. nor did she feel any lose considering how little she cared about the other.

but good things do happen to v! one day she received a letter explaining that she inherited her grandmother’s fortune. (which she often uses to pay off her apartment bills.) along with a small journal with letters and locations to keep veronica on the right path. to stray away from the hatred and negativity and turn those emotions into something beautiful.

PERSONALITY + RELATIONSHIPS

PERSONALITY: she is charming, creative, and witty. however, she can be quite cynical, stubborn, and reserved. she has that tell it like it is personality. she just calls it likes she sees it. even if she’s not exactly right. she’s witty and intelligent. she’s very particular when it comes to most things. she wants things done correctly. so she often runs by the quote, “if you want things right you gotta do it yourself.” she doesn’t like relying on others to get things done when she knows she could do it faster and better. a little bit of a ocd queen. she’s one of those people that set their mind to something and goes through with it until the end. she has a way with words. her silky soft voice makes it easy for her to manipulate people. (unless you’re close to her, then they can see past the bullshit.) but don’t get her talking about feelings. because you’re gonna just hear crickets if you do that. she’s sort of an introvert. over the years, veronica had to work hard to become the person she is today — someone who is hopeful, who sees art and beauty everywhere, even in the ugliest parts of the world..some days, it’s a little harder, but she never gives up. she’s slowly growing out of her tough head of hair and morphing into a young woman so beautiful over the years, but also at times, terrifying?? self destructive?? even if she’ll never let anyone see her deteriorate her insides sigh. basically she’s a hot mess. but she tries her best to hide that shit. yeye sweg.

when it comes to FRIENDS veronica can always use some of ‘em. she possess the qualities of a good friend loyal, honest, trustworthy. however, she can be quite pessimistic. which might be a reason why she doesn’t have as many friends. once her mind is set to think a certain way it’s hard to persuade her to believe otherwise. she’s the type of friend to listen to your problems, but be prepared to listen to her unwanted opinions – all of them. she’s also the type to put a friend in check when they need it. she thinks of it as trying to convince them to see the bigger picture. first impressions is something she might not be very good at. while she isn’t exactly the definition of rude, she tends to not filter then things she says. overall, i would say that she might just need a handful of friends, a whole bunch of acquaintances, and her a ride or die.

please flood her with ENEMIES. i know for a fact that she has these. being so boldly opinionated and all. you know this girl has more than enough haters. sometimes she has some very evil intentions. she’s vengeful and irrational. but, don’t get me wrong. she’s not pure evil. veronica does have some good intentions, she leans more to the chaotic evil side. deep deeeeep deeeeeeeeep down the girl is trust issue central when it comes to letting people in. she can’t help it. she has abandonment issues thanks to her parents. therefore, she might come off as standoff-ish to new people. she keeps her circle tight. so maybe they think she’s cliquey? or she could have pushed people away. she’s like that one rihanna meme, them: you can’t just cut people off. ronnie: *holds a pair of scissors* she doesn’t have problem with letting people go. so maybe people think she’s a bitch because, “how could you just drop our five year long friendship like that.” and she’d just shrug. but really, she’s hurting beyond repair and will go home crying while eating a thing of ben & jerry’s chunky monkey. and there’s always that possibility where a friendship just didn’t work out. maybe they just stopped having time for each other and now it’s just mad awk. whatever it is, an enemy would b beaut.

as for LOVERS. veronica is a fucking cynic. love ain’t real and life is cold. she’d rather just be alone and happy than in a relationship and suffering. she sees so many people around her settle for less. (her mother being a prime example of that.) especially when she’s giving advice for friends. she doesn’t think people should be so easily manipulated by the concept of love. she knows there’s a difference between wanting someone and wanting to be with someone. and in her eyes, most people only settle for the sake of companionship. it’d be a hard mission to win this girl over. but not impossible. she’s definitely been on a few dates and had a couple of relationships. though most ended quickly due to the realization she only fell for their smooth talking and nothing more. 100% dabbles in the quick hook ups for the sake of fulfilling those needs. though, if the right person were to come along… she’d be loyal to them, completely devoted to just them.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

sooooo, my lazy ass actually found the power to make a RELATIONSHIPS PAGE. peep it, tell me what you think. if you can’t find something your muse fits, throw whatever ideas you have right at me! i’m so down for whatever.

MISCELLANEOUS

in a nutshell, she’s an angel with a halo unbalanced with horns, not a devil but not a saint either?? kind yet has a backbone. softer than what she seems like. humorous and witty though understanding. mistrusting but willing to let loyalty speak. veronica is a hot mess dealing with personal issues by lashing out on those around her. she’s loyal, but manipulative. opinionated, but easily offended. intelligent, but sometimes argumentative. she’s a bit of a feminist. trusts no bitch. but if you’re her friend, she’s chill as fuck. though, she’s a bit hesitant when it comes to making new friends. since she’s likes being a lame outcast. but really — she just doesn’t know how to process her good thoughts into words. she’s a barista and a tortured artist. she’s independent, hardworking, and determined. muse inspo for her: kat stratford (10 things i hate about you), samantha borgens (stuck in love), michelle (spider-man homecoming), and a hint of blair waldorf (gossip girl). anyways, give her girl scout cookies and she’ll love you til the end of time.

congratulations ! you made it to end ! if you read all of this… i love you. i only ever write so much bc… it gets me in character lmao. also, i wrote all of this the second i woke up. so don’t mind the grammar mistakes and what not. HENNYWAYS… i would really love to plot with everyone. so just slide into my DMs and we can get things started!! luv u *blows a kiss*

[cornflowercanine]

sometimes u just. think hard. about. ur fantroll’s classpect.

like? i? thought? merxen was a knight of rage? but then my gf pointed out they are Very time-like? and now im hmmmmfgnhmhnngnnggmmm

like,,, a summary of them (warning their story is kinda,,, Dark and shit so, general tw);

-merxen’s story picks up where their ancestor’s leaves off >merxestor has   A Problem with being violent to others bc theyre fucking mad bc alternia sucks >gets moirail >is moirails with nursecestor, continues to be so + Violently Rebellious for a HOT FUCKING WHILE (bc cobalt_lifespan.jpg) >nursecestor gets murdered bc rebellion >merxestor LOSES ALL SHIT and becomes violent to anyone and everyone >is killed by condesce

-then merxen happens >from Very early on, merxen has a small group of friends around their age + their lusus who Sucks  >lusus abuses merxen which causes merxen to be confused and mad >merxen doesnt know how to deal with this, takes it out on their group of friends >their friends, in response, get mad at merxen BACK and mistreat them >which causes them to get more mad and confused, which causes their lusus to treat them worse, which causes them to take it out on their friends, which causes them to treat merxen worse.... -this continues Their Entire Fucking Childhood up until they’re about 10 & a half in human years >merxen gets in argument with goldblood friend, it goes too far and friend shoots psiionics, merxen gets Fucking Scared and pounces on them, inadvertantly kills them >merxen OH SHIT OH FUCK OH FUCK FUCK OH SHIT out of terror and guilt >runs the FUCK away, abandons everything

-merxen is still traumatized and confused and angry and now really scared, hiveless in sortof city-ish place >bc of their metric fuckton of emotional issues + obsession with colors and therefore blood colors, they end up wounding/attacking/killing countless people any time they feel like it/shitty enough >not that relevent emotional-wise but. making it clear. at this point they were building themselves a treehive DEEP as fuck in the forest bc scared_of_dying.jpg, alternian_society.png >so basically they kept compulsively murdering people, was traumatized, also got Hella top dysphoria, and bc they were raised with lowbloods borderline isolated from society they dont know attacking and killing lowbloods is what theyre Supposed to do as a cobalt, so is scared as shit of getting culled >Really Was Not Feeling Too Great

-kidnapped random troll, aka nurse, Eventually became moirails >once moirails merxen felt more chill enough to get VIOLENTLY DEPRESSED AND SUICIDAL AS FUCK out of guilt for attacking and wounding and killing a shitton of random probably innocent trolls >because this made them feel bad they kept killing trolls whiCH JUST MADE THEM FEEL WORSE WHICH MADE THEM KILL MORE TROLLS, wash rinse repeat >nurse E V E N T U A L L Y got merxen to chill the FUCK out >merxen Now doesnt kill random fucking trolls and isnt violently depressed/suicidal anymore >but they still have the deep underlying urge to keep killing/attacking trolls, this will never ever leave >in their future, they learn to use this in a good way, and only kill/attack trolls that support the shittiness of alternian society >so basically they live up to their ancestor again and is Hella Hella Hella a rebel and uses their anger and trauma and need to hurt others to benefit their society as a whole, even if it means risking the FUCK out of their life

so like,,, That Shit at the end is what made me think knight of rage, but like,,, god. GOD. the definition of time. god. i’m just having trouble defining time As An Aspect so even if their aspect is time, idk what their class would be at all??? can the motherfuckers who understand classpecting better than i do please stand up,

[sierahrt-blog]

so i got tagged by @monbaby-trash​ again! thank you! (i should be sleeping but i napped the whole afternoon so i’m expecting to be awake for a long time ehhh).

1.What color reminds you of home? white. because my house is white. and maybe green, since there are a lot of trees in my yard. idk.

2.What’s your favorite season and why? autumn/fall. because it looks pretty on pictures (but it’s not like there’s any difference around here).

3.What’s the first you look at when you meet a person? their... face... (i know it sounds stupid but??? that’s it? i never really paid attention).

4.What type of song do you like? the type that pleases my ears. aka literally anything.

5.What are you afraid of at the moment? this one teacher whose class i’ve been ditching wants to see me this tuesday to talk about my grades and i’m really scared of what might come out of it.

6.What is one trait you wish people should appreciate about you more? my... efforts. people tend to dismiss them because i’m a high-functioning depressed person and no one really sees how much i’m struggling shit just got really depressing i’m sorrydjfdskfh. uh, my nonexistent sense of humor?

7.What’s your favorite au? idk, tbh? i like reading any kind of aus, and i like thinking up and writing aus where the roles are reversed (like the confident one in a “low” position and the one who’s usually not-so-confident in a position of power) so;;; i guess that.

8.What’s your favorite MV concept? the one where there’s no angst. 

9.Name a song you want to dedicate to your ultimate bias and why? *grabs mic* i would love to dedicate take you down by chris brown to kim yugyeom (thanks for getting that shit stuck to my head, you little shit. still love you) *leaves*

10.What languages do you speak? portuguese, english and very little of spanish.

11.Favorite line from a song. I have too many. but. ok. i’ll try

“And I’m still waking every morning, but it’s not with you.” (colors by halsey)

“Same sht oh different day.” (honeymoon by bap)

“You could be the king, but watch the queen conquer.” (nicki minaj in monster aka the only part that matters, tbh).

and that’s it bc if i try to remember any others i’ll just. stay here all night

12.Favorite book. tbh, literally anything written by rick riordan. i don’t care if it’s the stupidest thing ever, he wrote it? my favorite book already (aka i literally can’t decide between pjo, hoo, toa and mcga, help).

13.Favorite movie. Over the Hedge (yep, that one). The Book of Life is really great, too.

14.What is your philosophy? tbh, i? have no idea? do what you like and love what you do? i just go along with whatever life has to give to me tbh

15.Who’s your bias and why? ok kids *cracks fingers* i’m gonna talk about my ults bc soft hour is getting closer so why the heck not, right.

junhong was my bias ever since day one. when i first saw him in the one-shot mv i was like “you. you with the blue-ish hair. i don’t know who you are, but you’re already my favorite” and he’s been my bias ever since.

but yugyeom? yugyeom was a ride. when i was still learning their names, he was the last. i was like “oh so the one with the white hair is bambam. the other one is yugyeom, then”. i thought that on the fateful tuesday i met them. sunday i was already like “i can’t believe i’ll go so long without seeing him” when i had to go to my grandma and spend a few hours with little to no access to internet.

but? they’re my babies? precious maknaes? weird? tol? dance really well? A+ vocals and A+ raps? the brightest smiles? you bet.

16.Are you the kind of friend you would want to have? If so, why? i guess? i really listen to people and i’m that kind of person who just;;; considers people my friends even after ages of not talking to them. yeah, i guess i need someone like that as my friend;;; lmao

17.When you’re in a bad mood, do you prefer to be alone or with friends? alone. i hate bothering people with my bullshit, and they do not have to put up with me when i’m in a bad mood, so. alone.

18.If you can start over, what will do differently? what ifs have no space in reality;;; tell my younger self it’s not her fault because i still think it is and that’s not exactly true.

19.Favorite thing about your favorite thing? everything.

20.What’s your favorite thing about yourself? my eyes even though my left eye is itching like crazy lately and my hands? i guess?

21.What do you think is at the edge of the universe? the void. what else?

22.When you don’t like yourself, how do you make yourself feel better? i listen to some songs i like, grab my notebook and a pen and spill ink. i literally write about anything coming up to my mind. sometimes i do my nails. other i watch funny videos. or i watch the 13th episode of K to cry like a bitch. whatever helps my bad moods, lol.