#aka jazz suffer from social pressure

[problematicbots]

Winged Sentinel au Snippet 4: Repairs

Jazz sat down in the waiting area that was across from the Perceptor’s Laboratory anxiously waiting for Sentinel to exit from the doors.

Jazz’s servo was still gripping at his wrist still not believing he pulled away when Sentinel needed his help, he felt terrible for his actions however he couldn't feel a sense of safety for not touching the prime turn jet…by all spark what was wrong with him he shouldn't feel this way at all and yet he was.

On one hand, He wanted to be there for Sentinel however on the other hand he couldn't get over his uneasiness over jets that easily no matter how hard he tried, the only thing he could hope for was that crushing into a building would be enough for Sentinel to drop this whole winged idea and everything would return to normal..this was a normal thing to think about right?

Before Jazz could sink further into his thoughts, he heard laughter from the hallway. He peered over to find that laughter was coming from three mechs who seemed to be approaching him.

“you won't believe what I heard but that hot-head Sentinel turned himself into like those two freak shows ” snickered a red mech placing his arm around a green mech next to him “If he wasn't so lucky he be offline under that debris, I am right”

This wasn't the first time Jazz heard somebody talking terribly about Sentinel. It was quite common to be critical or make fun of the prime yet hearing mech laughing over the possibility of Sentinel’s dying ready, some a core with Jazz so quietly rose to his defense.

“Huh, hey, maybe you shouldn't say something like that, man; it's a bit of a mess up,” spoked Jazz, cutting into the conversation awkwardly.

The group of mechs turned their heads toward Jazz in annoyance at the sudden interruption in their conversation.

“Come on, Jazz, you gotta admit, it's a bit freaky, isn't it?” spoke up the green mech in a condescending tone.” Unless you're into that kind of thing, but you aren't, are you?“

Jazz gulped in fear “Well I mean i-not exactly but- huh look it just- ” he cut himself off there not knowing how to pond to the golden blue mech's comment since on one hand he did find jets unsettling yet on the other hand it was rude to talk behind Sentinel’s back which wasn't his style at all. .

“Don't be ridiculous ”, piped up a yellow mech, rolling his optics at the green mech. “ Jazz is. There is no way he would associate with those things, right jazz?”

Jazz felt his hard drive begin to malfunction, trying to get words out of his glossa as the group of three mechs roved around him like vultures hunting their next meal.

“Right jazz? ” repeated the yellow mech in a more threatening tone with their optics narrowing at him. Leaning closer to his faceplate.

Jazz, feeling overwhelmed, got up from his seat quickly making an excuse to get out of this situation.

“look need a moment to think!” yelped Jazz quietly already slowly backing away from the three mechs before slowly dashing away to hide behind a pillar

Oh man, he felt like a coward for doing this, but what he was supposed to do was he couldn't fight three fellow Autobots, and the last thing he wanted to do was cause trouble.

A minute later Jazz peeps from behind the pillar to check if those mechs are still there Lucky for him it is seen as they have left yet he can't help but feel unsafe, sure they don't pull their weapons or anything yet their tone was dangerous and he couldn't wonder if he could keep himself or Sentinel safe while keeping the rest of the Autobots respect for him.

Not knowing what else to do, Jazz simply sat back in his seat with fear in the spark of what to come next.

__________________________________

Despite the disaster of that last training session Sentinel has learned a few things from that scrap fire of a show.

1: Buildings were way too close to the training area for comfort

2: yelling commands at your soldiers at full volume doesn't work when you are crashing into things

3: as Project Vedette, he now has to go through the same check-up process as Jetfire and Jetstorm.

That right, Sentinel found himself lying on the examination table once again, but this time, Jetfire and Jetstorm were lying down on separate examination tables beside him while Perceptor operated a giant machine behind a control panel, using claws to poke and analyze different parts of their bodies to check for injuries.

Sentinel, of course, hates this yelping and complaining every time a claw would poke at him. Not only was this painful, yet very unsettling.

“ow! Hey, be careful with that,” yelped Sentinel as one claw jabbed at his chest plate harshly

This might be the second worst thing that Sentinel ever experienced in his whole career aside from being a literal head but he wasn't the only one going through this, he turned his helm to find that Jetfire and Jetstorm were being poked at too both with a look of discomfort across their faceplate seeing this raised a question in Sentinel’s hard drive that he allowed it to slip from his glossa.

“Are all your checkup sessions like this?” whispered Sentinel towards the twins.

“Don’t worry, Sentinel sir, we..well gotten used to it,” replayed Jetstorm with a smile across his faceplate, yet a sad and almost scared undertone to it.

Sentinel didn't like the idea of the sound of that at all, especially when Jetstorm, despite his cheerful faceplate, was clearly in unease

“Don't you..you know, ever get sick of it?” asked Sentinel, raising his non-existent eyebrow at Jetstorm.

“... Sir..don't tell Jetfire this sir but..do we have a choice..” whispered Jetstorm

This immediately sent alarms through Sentinel’s hard drive. He didn't like the idea of his soldiers having no say, choice, or consent in these checkups; this was something he needed to speak to Ultra Magnus about sooner or later.

However, the most unsettling part is how Jetstorm appears isn't telling Jetfire anything strange. Sentinel thought these two were two peas in a pod that knew everything about each other, but apparently, they weren't.

Before Sentinel could think about the implication of a raft between the twins, another claw poked at his body, making him yelp again.

“Do you mind? You give me faulty wings, you might as well have the decency to be careful with the rest of my body!” shouted the furious prime at the uncaring scientist

Perceptor stares at the complaining prime, emotionless, clearly not caring for the pain he is going through.

“Your wings aren't defective and are perfectly functional,” responds Perceptor, pressing a button on the control panel.

Suddenly, a hologram of Sentinel’s current wings appeared in front of the Sentinel's faceplate, showing a one hundred percent functionality rate on a graph with some numbers.

“It is the lack of knowledge of how to use them is the problem “ he continued before turning off the hologram “If you want to solve this problem I suggest you begin researching the source of aviation otherwise this project would be considered a failure so be glad that Ultra Magnus is giving it two more chances “

Sentinel scoffed at Perceptor’s words wondering what he was supposed to do with that information.

“Well, what does Ultra Magnus expect me to do? Grabbed a datapad that says “how to fly” on it?” and read it overnight” muttered Sentinel under his breath.

Sentinel suddenly paused for a moment as, once again, another offhand comment he made popped an idea into his hard drive, an idea that he didn't exactly like, but it was worth a shot if he or the twins wanted to make any progress but first, he needed somebody who he can trust to talk about this too.

________________________________________

The door to Perceptor's Laboratory opened and Jazz sighed in relief when Sentinel walked out with Jetfire and Jetstorm behind him.

Unfortunately, the Prime still had those wings attached to his back, but that wasn't the only confusing thing that Jazz saw; he raised his optics as he saw Sentinel ordering the twins to go to their quarters before approaching him and pulling him to the side.

“Still keeping those wings Sp?” asked Jazz way more condescendingly than he intended.

“Well- WELL I just need to research deeper into it that all” gulped Sentinel defensively “and well maybe our huh little prisoner knows a thing or two about this “

Jazz’s jaw fell straight to the ground: oh no, Sentinel wasn't thinking what he thought he was thinking, right?

“Wait, Sp.. aren't thinking about talking to Starscream, are you?” Asked Jazz “he tries to escape four times this cycle”

“. Actually, It was five times since there was a certain..incident with a box,” corrected Sentinel, “and it was more of an interrogation than anything else. After all, who knows more about flying than a Decepticon, right?”

Jazz didn't like his idea at all since what if Starscream could try to escape again and hurt or kill anybody in his path? Sure, they had the Decepticon outnumbered, but the risk was still there, making Jazz uneasy.

“Plus unlike those other times, our huh security has been increased so I doubt he will try to escape this time” Sentinel continued with pure confidence in his voice box. “not with all the security measures I ordered he stands no chance “

Jazz sighed knowing there was no way he was going to convince Sentinel to back away from this, especially when he barely could convince Sentinel to back away from removing those wings.

“well if you say so sp “ sighed Jazz with a terrible feeling beating in his spark “Just let me go with you if that's ok”

“Well, I mean suppose I could use some backup “ replied Sentinel, rubbing the back of his helm awkwardly. “so..yeah sure”

This made Jazz feel a million times better that he at least got to be by the prime sides just any go wrong: he can't even imagine what would happen if Sentinel went to confront Starscream alone.

“Right, let's go,” sighed Jazz, not exactly ready for what was going to happen next, but at least they were by each other's side. Right?

________________________________________

Sentinel and Jazz stood in an elevator heading down to the deepest parts of Fort Maximus. Usually, the majority of cybernation prisoners would be transferred to the prisons of the former Decepticon city of Kaon, yet due to the many escape attempts made by Starscream, it was decided for everyone's safety that he remained in his temporary cell from now on.

The doors of the elevators slide open as Jazz and Sentinel step out into a grayish short hally filled with multiple security cameras, a giant metal door, and a keypad next to it on the wall.

Without a word, Sentinel approaches the keypad, entering a code and opening the metal door, revealing another short hallway large metal door with a keypad.

Once again, Sentinel approaches the keypad, entering a code, and once again, the metal door opens, revealing another metal door.

“Huh, Sp, how many doors did you order? “ asked Jazz, watching Sentinel once again, entering a code to open three other metal doors.

“Huh about 25, why?” replied Sentinel nonchalantly

Jazz's jaw dropped at this comment “25?!’ he nearly yelped at this.

“Hey! Better safe than sorry right!?!” responds Sentinel defensively as he entered another code to once open another metal door. “Plus weren't you worried about him escaping a minute ago?”

..Well, Sentinel wasn't wrong on that, but even still, Jazz thought this was a bit overboard even for a con, and he couldn't help but sigh a little bit. “This was going to take a while, wasn't it?” he thought to himself quietly

After what felt like a whole cycle the last metal door opened revealing a mostly glass cell surrounded by multiple cameras

and inside the cell was the Decepticon Starscream himself, standing there with static cuffs on his servo and looking at his reflection in a mirror on the wall, seemingly checking himself out.

“Who's greater than Megatron himself? That right you are,” snickered Starscream, seemingly to himself, blowing kisses to the mirror.

Sentinel and Jazz raise their non-existent eyebrow at the strange scene, not knowing what to make out of it. Sentinel, for a moment, considers throwing the mirror out of a window since that self-bragging from the con is already getting on his nerves; however, it did give him an idea that makes a smug smirk cross his faceplate.

Jazz knew that exact look Sentinel’s faceplate the prime was up to something but he didn't know exactly what.

“Well, if you think you're such a “great, “ huh.. Decepticon.. you would know how to fly, right?” taunted Sentinel, trapping on the glass cell with his digitals. “ Well unless of course, you have been floating in the air this whole time “

This set off Starscream immediately turning his attention away from the mirror towards Sentinel with pure rage in his optics.

“FLOATING!!? AUTOBOT I HAVE YOU KNOW I COULD FLY CIRCLES AROUND YOU ” shouted Starscream offended by Sentinel's comment that he didn't even notice Sentinel’s wings at first “ I DON'T FLOAT”

“OH Really, looks like floating to me,” mocked Sentinel, messing with Starscream’s hard drive.

“It's FLYING,” replied Starscream, angry with his voice growling louder every second that this Autobot dared to call flying something as low tier as floating.

“F.L.O.T.I.N.G,” mocked Sentinel, snickering a bit enjoying Starscream’s annoyance.

With that, A seemingly endless back-and-forth argument between the two mechs begins while Jazz finally realizes what Sentinel is trying to do, he can't hold back a little giggle coming from his faceplate, so he lets it play out.

“Pf, what is the difference anyway ”sneers Sentinel, crossing his arms and rolling his optics

This is seen to trigger Starscream as the Decepticon voice booms across the cell Sentinel wouldn’t be surprised if the entity of Cybertron could hear him from miles away.

“I HAVE YOU KNOW FLOATING IS FAR LEAST ELEGANT BUT FLYING ON THE OTHER HAND IS-” With that Starscream went on a full detailed rant on the difference between flying and floating.

Sentinel quickly took out a datapad and wrote down every word, making sure no details were left unchecked, while Jazz couldn't help but look a little impressed.

“Smooth SP” whispered Jazz over to Sentinel with a smile on his faceplate.

This seems to catch Sentinel off a bit since he nearly dropped the datapad at Jazz’s compliment but quickly grabbed it before tucking it away as a small blush spread across this faceplate.

“We-well huh thanks…Jazz” coughed Sentinel put his one arm around Jazz “You know it isn't easy dealing with these Decepticons so be glad you have me by your side”

“yeah, sure,” replied Jazz, chuckling under his breath although a bit nervously since he could feel Sentinel’s wing slightly touching his back, which he didn't like at all, making him a bit queasy.

Jazz’s queasiness by Sentinel's wings was noticed by Starscream, who suddenly stopped ranting as a small smirk formed on his faceplate, A smirk that Sentinel caught immediately on the con's face and didn't like at all since he suspected the con was up to something.

“HEY, WHAT'S YOU'RE SMIRKING AT?!” shouted Sentinel, removing his arm from Jazz and pointing at Starscream, who quickly put on a poker face.

“Oh, nothing. I just thought of something funny,” replied Starscream, pretending that he was just thinking of a fun joke instead of what he was plotting in his hard drive.

Sentinel narrowed his optics at Starscream, not believing his word. After all, a mech can't just laugh for no reason, right?

“I’m watching you “ snarled Sentinel before turning his heel to leave “Come on Jazz let's get out of here”

Jazz nodded and followed behind Sentinel until he heard a chuckle from Starscream from behind, stopping him in his tracks while Sentinel was already far ahead, heading back to the first datapad.

“Those wings are a sight for sore optics aren't they?” snickered Starscream mockingly “Must be sickling for you Autobots to see a reminder of your greatest enemy walking around “

Jazz knew he should just walk away right there and not listen to Starscream’s comments, yet he couldn't for a moment. He stood there frozen in silence as his servo grabbed his wrist again.

"Oh, don't act so high and mighty by not saying anything, Autobot," scoffed Starscream, not a fan of Jazz’s silence. "We both know the truth: you find those wings disguising."

"And we both know everyone you ever know will turn their back on you if you continue to stand by a jet side, so if I were you, I would run away as far as possible unless you want to lose everyone's respect," continues Starscream, with that smirk growing bigger on his faceplate.

This got to Jazz since he is friends with everyone on the Autobots, and the fear of losing their respect has already been looming over his helm ever since that encounter with those three mechs. This was something that Jazz didn’t want to lose.

“I-you don't know that “ stuttered Jazz turning around to face the con. “ Who knows maybe everyone might end up being chill with it”

This made Starscream laugh in Jazz's faceplate since he couldn’t believe this mech had so much faith in others who live in a society that learned to associate flight with the emery they fought against for many cycles.

“You're lying to yourself, we both know it,” chuckled Starscream, his tone dripping with scorn.

Jazz stood in stunned silence, feeling a sense of entrapment despite being the one outside of the cell. He remained motionless until Sentinel's voice broke through the tension.

“Hey, are you coming or do I have to lock you up there with Starscream?” Sentinel's words carried a hint of teasing.

Jazz turned to see Sentinel's figure peering from the now-open many metal doors. With a resigned sigh, Jazz swiftly moved to join Sentinel, but not before catching Starscream's parting words.

“Good luck,” snickered the Decepticon in a whisper, his mocking tone echoing across the hallway.

Those were the last words Jazz heard before Sentinel entered a code into the datapad, sealing every door with a resounding clang.

[dancergurl3000]

Why I will never, ever miss my 20's (aka this time in my life currently). An essay.

I will never, ever miss my 20’s. Like the TV series GIRLS, which will always be the most accurate description of friendships that you will have ultimately in your 20’s that may indeed come to pass, I will probably never miss this time in my life. There are so many reasons why. But one of the main reasons why I will never miss my 20’s is mainly that your 20’s are really hard. I have some hard-earned evidence to back me up on this. Think of all of the celebrities (musicians I’m thinking of, mostly) that never made it to 28 years of age. Kurt Cobain, Amy Whinehouse, Judy Garland for fuck’s sake! Heath Ledger (maybe I think was 28 when he died?). So many of these people who are beloved by all never made it to 30 years of age. And I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out why. And I think I have an answer, or a partial answer. Your 20’s is all about becoming at least more of an adult. You are now out of college, so more is expected of you. You are pressured more so by society and by your parents and friends to get a job and/or get hitched. And with the invention of social media, everything needs to be hyped up. Your life needs to be that much more hyped up because more is expected of you: you are literally SUPPOSED to be figuring it out, having it all together, and having the time of your life. This is one of life’s biggest misnomers. Life is not one huge party. Life is messy, complicated, and sometimes downright shitty! I honestly think many of the celebrities I’ve mentioned couldn’t handle the pressure of it all. Amy Whinehouse probably was one of the greatest jazz musicians of all time; but the fact that her life was in the public eye; the fact that her father profited off of her fame, the fact that her father enabled her and was generally a big, fat asshole who didn’t see that she just needed help, needed to be in a rehab facility; I think the fact that she had zero support in figuring out how to get clean and stay clean is ultimately what helped her to overdose and die of her disease. And she died alone too! In her apartment no less in England, how fucking tragic is that?! How many times do we have to hear about these people dying from their diseases because they can’t figure out how to ask for help? Robin Williams died alone. He had all that money and fame. And none of it mattered. I won’t honestly miss my 20’s because I know how much emotional pain I’ve had to suffer and be strong as a result of that emotional pain. I honestly don’t know why I’ve been able to survive and be as strong as I am after going through all this shit, the only thing I can tell you is it’s because I have had to fight my whole life all of my life FOR my life, and that survival was the only thing on my mind. Honestly, I just hope it gets better from here on out. No one should have to suffer alone, no one should be denied the right to live just because they are in pain. We’re all in this together. And I hope that I can hold onto that sentiment, for as long as I live.