#aka i made the excuse of it being an inside joke. which somehow always works lmaooo

[fabulouslygaybean]

one of my cousins is gonna make me cry in the damn car i stg

[aloesarchives]

Imai Cosmo Headcanons

Alright, now it's time for sunshine boy Cosmo. 

(Edit: I am so sorry, I accidentally deleted this for some reason. Sorry for the inconvenience) 

You met Cosmo when you both were first years in high school. You just recently transfer to his school in the beginning of the year for reasons not disclose(just move to Japan, came from a different school, etc.)

It was a hard time making friends because you were new and no one would approach you. But it didn’t stop Cosmo from wanting to be with your friend.

Cosmo is pretty much a social butterfly and is always friendly to everyone. When he said hi to you, the first thing you took notice was his bubbly personality. After that encounter, Cosmo actually made it his goal to be your friend. Everyday at school, he would always talk to you when he has the chance. And during after school you two would hang out together whether it be eating out or looking at the latest version of some Martial Arts magazine.

Thanks to the time you have been spending with him, he’s one of your closest friends you have. It’s kinda known around the school that you two always hang out with each other.

You also come over to his house to tutor Cosmo b/c he wasn’t doing so well in math so you had to help out a homie. You did have some encounters with his brother, Meteor. You get along with him as the two of you share the struggle of taking care of Cosmo.

Cosmo’s enthusiasm is contagious and even when you kinda hit your lowest Cosmo’s vibe just somehow revives you and you smile once again.  

Cosmo’s energy is so bright and powerful that you feel like you’re standing in the presence of the sun and you need some goddamn visors to look because he’s just pure and happy all the time that it hurts your entire being. But it’s in a good way, sis.

Throughout the time you spent with Cosmo, you notice that every once in a while that he would have a bruise or a bandage on his face or arm when he wears his short sleeve shirt. Come to think of it, Cosmo somehow has some sort of injury that can’t be explained in normal terms. Even when you ask Cosmo when he gets his injuries and small scuffs, he’ll just brush it off with an excuse that wouldn’t add up or make sense to the injury. But again you don’t push it since when you try to press on the issue that Cosmo switched the topic immediately and has completely forgotten about the conversation.

You did at one point remember that Cosmo did have a small rebellious stage but one day he stopped for some reason you don’t know about. But even so, it doesn’t calm your concerns of Cosmo’s random injuries.

In short, he’s really bad at hiding them and not making something obvious. But you being you, you didn’t push on the matter out of consideration.

Now that I mention that, you also notice Cosmo getting ripped and becoming more muscular. Cosmo actually lets you feel his arms and back when you ask him, he’s completely fine with it. Fam, no gonna lie, it has a nice feel to it.

(Y/N):Hey Cosmo, have you been working out lately? You’re back has been getting toned as of recently.

Cosmo: Actually yeah, I’ve been working out more nowadays. Do you want to feel my back, (Y/N)?

(Y/N): Sure, if you’re fine with it.

Cosmo: Go right ahead.

*Proceeds to feels Cosmo’s back

(Y/N): Woah! You’re pretty ripped, Cos!

There were some subtle hints that Cosmo had that kept being in your sight. Like his physical strength when the class would play volleyball, or doing those fitness test everyone has to take, he was somehow on the top on it. Or at least there was a far seeable gap than he was to you and the rest of the class.

You, for sure, know Cosmo is hiding something when Cosmo would turn you down to hang out because he had some business to do. What only push your suspicions was when you were walking home one day from school and a car past by you. Although it was a nice car and you didn’t really care for it, the thing that caught your eye was who was in it. You saw a tan man with cool shades driving the car and Cosmo was in the passenger seat next to him. As the car sped off, you stood still on the sidewalk, completely confused. You’ve seen that guy before when you would go to the gym, but you didn’t put any thought to it.

I mean you don’t to bug him about all of this because you don’t want to be nosy and pester him about it. But you know Cosmo isn’t gonna spill the beans anytime soon so you keep it to yourself.

God, I really, really like to headcanon that Kureshi is a distant uncle/relative of your’s that you’re somewhat close to. You don’t tell Cosmo right off the bat because you thought it wasn’t super important. All you tell him is that your uncle owns a gym and during after school sometimes you go there to train/exercise with him. Cosmo doesn't think much of it too since you didn’t make a big deal out of it. But he was curious on what gym your uncle runs and that at you one point you mentioned he was a fighter too.

The way you found out was pretty much very coincidental. While you were at the gym, your uncle aka Kureshi mentions to you that he took up a student and took him under his wing. This was odd for you because you never saw your uncle to be one to take up someone for training. When he mentions to you that the person he’s training is around the same age and goes to the same high school, you were intrigued by who it was. The week you found out about this was the same week that finals/ heavy testing was being held and so you wanted to distress by going to the gym. You asked Cosmo if he wanted to hang out 2 hours before you go to the gym but he said he was going to do training at a gym beforehand and had to turn down your offer. You were kind of bummed out but you couldn’t convince him otherwise so oh well. Upon going to the gym, you get a text from your uncle that his student came to train and asked if you wanted to meet him. You said why not and when upon arriving to the gym, your uncle greet you and took you to see his student who was dealing some good blows to one of the gym’s punching bags. Upon further inspection, the boy looked familiar, too familiar. Without thinking, you blurted out Cosmo’s name. After stopping his workout, he turn to you and the both of you had equally shocked faces while Kureshi was having a kick out of it. When you looked at your uncle and asked if he was his student, the answer was fairly obvious and you just stood there while trying to process all of this. When Cosmo asked you why you were there, you explained Kureshi and stuff. It was a awkward few minutes before you decided to change into your workout clothes and doing some training of your own. After you were done with your workout, you took a shower and changed into some casual clothes. You waited for Cosmo to be done and the two of you would head home together after bedding your uncle farewell.

Since you caught Cosmo training, he couldn’t really hid it from you anymore because you saw him there at the gym and he had a entirely different training regiment than the average person. You got the courage to ask him about what’s the training for while telling him your suspicions. Cosmo kinda went silent, which is unlike him to do so especially in your presences. Then Cosmo just spills everything to you, the training, the bruises, the times he had to decline your offers to hang out, he explained himself to you why he had to it. At the mention of Kengan Matches and underground fighting, you thought this was like fight club or something. But snapping out of your thoughts, you didn’t see Cosmo any less differently and told him that his secret is safe with you. Cosmo is grateful for you and that he’s glad you’re understanding.

One day, when Cosmo didn’t come to Kureshi’s gym, you asked your uncle how he meet Cosmo. He told you that Cosmo got into a fight with a few guys that had him on the ropes before he stepped in himself to save Cosmo. While at it, your uncle ask about your thoughts on Cosmo and his potential in fighting. When you answered with a Cosmo having untapped potential, Kureshi made a deal with you. He said he’ll allow you to watch Cosmo’s matches and cover your back when you parents ask about your whereabouts. In return, you have to help him train Cosmo and update him on his matches. You didn’t even think about it, you just took the deal and the rest is history.

Another time, you met Mr. Nishihonji while training Cosmo. Apparently he used to use this gym a while back. After learning he was Cosmo’s sponsor/ fighting for his company, you do remember Cosmo subtly mentioning him in your conversations in the past and now you meet him in the flesh. He made a good impression of himself to you and ever since then you’ve been chill with him. The man means well so he doesn’t really give off any bad vibe that you can tell.

Mr. Nishihonji has picked up the both of you from school when Cosmo has a match. Once school is over, you two would head over to where his car is and people from your school would just gawk because who knew the two of you were hanging out with a rich man with a nice car. This happens a lot where you kinda get use to it.

Your crush/love for Cosmo is built up over time and isn’t too obvious  that other people can catch on but people close to you can see something is up with you when your around Cosmo. When people ask you about it, you brush it off as simple friendship you have for him. People won’t push it but people like Kureshi and Mr. Nishihonji can piece things together to where they have an fundamental understanding that you really care about Cosmo.

Speaking of Kureshi, your uncle Kureshi loves to fucking tease you about you and Cosmo. He really gets a kick out of how you get all tsundere on him when he does. It’s like an inside joke you have with each other and it’s family love, that’s all.

You never confessed to Cosmo because you 1.) don’t want to ruin or make the friendship awkward, and 2.) you don’t think Cosmo feels the same way as he is oblivious to your small actions/hints towards him.

And by the way, Cosmo is fucking oblivious to everything unless pointed out by him. This sadly includes your feelings, sis. This is one of the things Cosmo needs you in his life because of this. He’s oblivious to the point where you had to point out or explain things to him when he doesn’t get it or it goes over his head.

But your feelings becomes evident when the Kengan tournament goes under way and that you were invited to go with him. You watch on the sidelines, with Mr. Nishihonji of course, Cosmo’s matches. You knew after his first match ended that this tournament was something else when you saw the line up and after Cosmo fainted into Mr. Nishihonji’s arms after exiting the pit. You knew that Cosmo was not going to have an easy time in his matches and he needed to know this. Although you have faith in Cosmo, it’s not impossible to remember that this isn’t a simple walk in the park.

After beating Adam, Adam kinda just became your friend instantly. Like after Cosmo convinced him, he just stuck around the two of you. Even though you hate what comes out of his mouth, Adam isn’t really a jerk and tries to unlearn the things he has said to the two of you. When Adam stays in Japan for training, he literally becomes you best friend/ brother at this point. Adam is probably the only person that actually caught on

But the thing that has been bothering you is Cosmo’s naivety. There’s nothing wrong with his happy go lucky attitude. It’s just, Cosmo doesn’t seem to be grounded a lot in certain situations where he’ll understand the dangers/risks that come with this. Especially when it came down to fighting. You do warn him of being careful and taking the fight seriously, but he just say don’t worry and not really mean it. You knew that this would be problem because Cosmo takes his fighting skills for granted. You love the man but wish he would understand how grave some matches could’ve been if he didn’t take them down sooner.

But that fight with Akoya, oh my fucking god. First off, Fuck Akoya and his justice boner. Second, god this fight did some ever lasting damage on you. This was one of those surreal life changing moments that you can never forget even if you tried. The fight, in it of itself, was one of the most intense, gruesome, but slightly breathtaking things you have ever bear to witness. Although you hate to say this, this was the fight that Cosmo needed for his break through. This gave Cosmo what he’s been looking for in order to evolve and better his fighting.

However, this fight was to you was gut wrenching and mentally breaking. Like when you caught Hiyama helping out Akoya in the matches with Adam and Mr. Nishihonji, something was wrong by her desperate reaction to continue to help Akoya. Then the next you know was when you look down towards the arena, Akoya goes berserk and went total psycho on Cosmo. From biting a chunk of Cosmo’s leg off, cracking his ribs, and practically torturing him by bring him back to conscious after Cosmo pasted out. You, on the other hand, couldn’t shout as nothing would come out of your mouth no matter how hard you tried. Tears were building up, your heart was pounding out of your chest, it was hard to watch. Two things could’ve happened next, you either fainted from the immense fear where Adam had to catch you or you glued your eyes to the match and gripped the concrete so hard your finger nails got damage along with bleeding finger tips. Let’s go with the second one, then. The match in-front of you seem one sided and you feared for Cosmo’s life. But deep down, for some goddamn reason, you believe he can pull through if he found his motivation and drive. You called yourself stupid for having so much faith in him but he never has once let you down, so why should you? Once you said that Cosmo has a chance, Adam thought you were nuts but the unwavering hope said otherwise. For Cosmo, he has the classic anime protag shit where in a near death experience he has a bunch of flashbacks. Most of them was his time training with his master, however, some were times spent with you. With all the memories, Cosmo wanted to win, not just for his life and master, but for you as well. When Cosmo started to have his epiphany and turning the fight around in his favor, you never yelled as hard and as loud in your entire life. You bet his ass that he heard it. After the brutal few minutes, Cosmo came out the victor and you have never felt so relieve and exhausted in your life. You cried, fam, there's no doubt (I cried too, don't worry). When you came to get him and send him to the infirmary, you stuck to him for the rest of the tournament.

The fight didn’t make Cosmo realize he loved you, but it did stir up something inside of him that made him view you in a new light. In which he didn’t want to spend a moment without you. Man, you yelled at him for almost dying on you but spoke of your relief to him. He just apologizes and said he’ll win his next fight. It’s a very tender moment between the two of you.

What shock you the most was Kureshi suddenly appearing at the quarter finals tournament, he stated that he wanted to see Cosmo’s progress. It was odd seeing him but it was probably important as the tournament was nearing the end. He was up against Ohma which prove to be a powerful opponent. But alas, Cosmo was defeated by him. While he sat in one of the waiting rooms, you were right next to him, comforting him. Then you let your emotions speak for themselves, how you were proud of him for coming so far especially someone for his age, that he shouldn’t stop here and strive for more, and that you’ll give him your undying support. Then Cosmo pulls you into a hug and just cries it out, you smile and held him close.

After a few months after the tournament, Cosmo realizes he has feelings for you and confessed to you after he took you out to eat. And the rest is history.

Being with Cosmo is great (I say this with almost everyone, so bear with me). Being happy 24/7, a lot of hugs and kiss, spending endless hours with him. The man, himself, is a ball of sunshine at just happens to be your boyfriend.

The man loves you unconditionally no matter what. He doesn’t really have a preference on appearance. However, I’ll do say that if you’re shorter than him(he’s 5′6 i think), he’s over the moon because it adds some cuteness to you. The man loves you.

Cosmo really likes hugs and cuddles. He knows not the strangle you when he’s cuddling with you, but he loves to squeeze you tight. Meteor has caught the two of you sleeping on the couch in each other embrace in more than one occasion. Meteor thinks it’s cute and doesn’t disturb you two.

Cosmo is more than okay with PDA. He can’t really keep his hands off of you, yet he’ll respect your boundaries. He’ll hold your hand, arm around your waist or shoulder, giving small pecks to you. He’s not afraid of showing you off.

He’s a playful kisser, he likes to play around with you. But there are times where he does kiss you passionately, but that’s usually in private though. Before his matches, it’s a must for you to kiss him before he goes out and fights. Sometimes he kisses you out of nowhere and when you ask him, he just says I love you and stuff.

I can see him calling you baby/babe/ and love. It just sounds like him.

The man’s always hugging you from behind.

I’m gonna say since no one has said it louder: Cosmo with his hair slicked back makes him from cute to instant HOT. Deadass when you see he like with his hair like that, you cheeks heat up quickly and you just quietly freaking over his hair. You tell him that it looks better on him(which it does, btw) but he says it’s a simple haircut for him.

I headcanon that you and Kureshi gave him the idea to grow out his hair since it’ll suit him more. When his hair gets long enough, you sometimes braid his hair or brush it. To him, it’s a very relaxing moment since you’re kinda spoiling him.

Cheer for this man and he will definitely fight even harder in his matches. You’re his motivations.

Cosmo does have nosebleeds so make sure to bring some tissues.

Before the Kengan Omega, you had to help him take care of himself but after the two years he doesn’t have to, or rather not as much.

The only time you got jealous was probably when you found that Mr. Nishihonji took Cosmo to a brothel(?) and you finding out Cosmo had a taste for older women kinda sat with you the wrong way even though you two weren’t an item yet. You didn’t tell him out right what was wrong because you thought it was stupid to be feel jealous. It made you avoid Cosmo for like a day or two. You still haven’t told him yet about it and it will remain like that to this day.

You did take note on Cosmo’s estrange friend group aka the fighters. They’re not intimidating people. You actually had a run in with Wakatsuki on accident. Cosmo invited you to come hang out with him but you were busying with errands that you sadly had to decline. While you were fast walking to your next destination, you bumped into someone and tripped on your own foot. Before your face touched the ground, Wakatsuki caught you and helped you up. He apologizes for bumping into you because he didn’t see you. You said you were fine and ask what he was doing, he stated he was waiting for a friend of his. After you excuse yourself to continue your day, Cosmo comes around the corner as you left. While they were eating, Wakatsuki told Cosmo ran into you. When Cosmo said “oh, you met my girlfriend?” Wakatsuki had to pause because, like what?, the girl/person he bumped into was Cosmo’s girlfriend. Big shocker for him. Before you guys became a thing, Sakura, Sekibayashi, and Wakatsuki, would tease Cosmo about girls that would know him. I mean, they do this a lot when it was with you but to know the two of you ended up together caught them blind sided.

The fact Cosmo can take down opponents twice his size and age is pretty amazing in your eyes. Man’s short but damn can he pull off some impressive moves. Proud to call him your boyfriend honestly.

Food buddy, you guys love to eat with eat other. It’s pretty obvious that Cosmo loves to eat. The man takes you out to eat all the time, fucking bet on that shit.

When Cosmo loves you, he will LOVE you to death. Sure, you were hard on him when he’s training, but he is thankful for you being with him for the long run.

Being in a relationship with Cosmo is just full of fun and love even though it does get serious at some points. Cosmo never fails to show you that he loves you and how much you mean to him.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Enchanted - Adam Sackler (pt. 3)

OMG it feels like it took me forever to write this part and im so sorry for that but i’ve been so busy with school and just life in general, i barely get time at the end of the day to even start my computer and do anything. but i finally finished this part and im so excited for the story to continue!! as always, feedback is welcomed!

ps: im so exhausted, i didn’t have time to revise it so it probably has a bunch of mistakes, pls forgive me!

series summary: You are casted as Giselle in the Broadway adaptation of Enchanted with Adam as Robert.

word count: 3.9k

Part 1 - Part 2

masterlist

Chapter title: Princess

First rehearsal on the stage is thrilling for you, because even without an audience, the place has a special energy that hits you right at the moment you walk out. There’s no real set just yet, only a few props to signal where things will be placed once the designers are done.

Today’s walkover is about the date scene with Clyde aka prince Edward and you are excited to put your dancing shoes aside for just a little while, even though you know once this rehearsal is over you’ll have one with Matt and Adam for the ball scene, your absolute favorite. Trevor explains how he envisioned the scene to go, with the moving and changing set to make the audience feel like the two of you are walking through the city.

Working with Clyde has been the easiest so far. He is a genuinely nice and caring person, who obviously tries to put one hundred percent into everything he does, making it a real pleasure to work together with him. He definitely has the looks to play a prince, tall, tanned with a charming smile and luscious curls that bounce with every movement he makes with his head. You keep thinking about how he is basically what you would say to be your type, inside and out and you are actually surprised you haven’t fallen for him the moment his hand touched your waist. You like to think you’ve grown enough to contain your emotions.

“Have you had any costume fitting?” he asks as the two of you stand on the stage, scripts in hands while Trevor is discussing something with his assistant.

“No, but Misha has sent me a few previews. Have you?”

“Yeah, I had one yesterday. Can’t wait to step on stage in tights,” he grins making you chuckle.

“There’s no prince without tights.”

“Definitely,” he nods. “Anyway, your vocals are extremely on point.”

“How do you know?” you ask narrowing your eyes at him. You haven’t had any vocal lessons together, just solo ones.

“Cynthia showed me a recording last time, I was trying to learn the harmonizing and it helped to hear you too.”

“Oh,” you nod. “Well thank you, I’m sure you sing just as well too.”

“I’m trying, but no doubt you’ll be the star,” he smirks and you feel a blush warming your cheeks.

Rehearsing with Clyde feels like when you and Lora used to hang out in high school, just goofing around while trying to get your homework done. It’s productive, because you do what you are supposed to do, but you also keep making each other laugh with the constant joking and messing around.

After rehearsals you decide to check out the canteen for a late lunch together and it’s a suitable choice since your dance rehearsal with Adam starts in an hour so you have to stay around to be there in time.

“You can’t be serious,” you gasp, watching him dip his pickle into mayo.

“It’s a delicacy,” he chuckles before taking a bite and you actually feel yourself shiver.

“Oh my God, you are a psychopath!” you laugh shaking your head at him.

“Nah, I just have a sister who ate some really weird shit when she was pregnant, and I tried some out. This one turned out to be pretty good.”

“My statement still stands. Psycho,” you joke.

When a familiar tall figure appears you spot him right away even from just the corner of your eyes. It doesn’t take long for Adam to spot the two of you since the canteen is not big enough to make it hard for anyone to see who’s really there.

“What a coincidence!” Adam cheerfully greets you standing at the table. Clyde hops to his feet as their palms meet and they do that typical half-hug thing men always do. Then his eyes wander over to you and you let a smile take over your lips.

“Hi Adam, ready to dance?” you ask as he snatches a chair from the table next to yours and he sits down.

“I was born ready! Hope your feet don’t break easily,” he jokes and you just shake your head chuckling.

“It’s not fair you two get the pretty dance while I’ll be in the background in tights,” Clyde sighs, but you know he is just furthering the joke.

“Clyde is not too excited about wearing tights, as you can see,” you explain to Adam who understandingly nods.

“I’m just saying, that out of the three of us,” he says gesturing around the table, “I’m definitely not the right one to wear tights on stage.”

“You’re right, I have nice thighs,” Adam nods and you can’t help but start laughing loudly. Somehow the image of him wearing tights is just so absurd you’d really love to see it.

Clyde sticks around for a little longer, the three of you having a nice conversation, a normal one which is surprising given the fact that Adam is present, but maybe this is the proof that he can be normal sometimes too. Then Clyde needs to leave and once he is out of the canteen Adam turns to you.

“Clyde wants to fuck you,” he simply says and you almost choke on your apple juice.

“Excuse me?” you manage to get out between coughs.

“What? Did you not notice how hard he was trying?”

“He wasn’t trying, he was just being a nice, normal person. You could try it,” you grimace at him. So much for being normal for once.

“Oh come on! I bet he’ll nut tonight thinking about you.”

“Would you stop unloading your dirty fantasies on me? Not everyone is as kinky as you. Most people don’t make a whole film about their relationship filled with all the sexual details.”

“Holy fuck, you watched the whole film!” he gasps happily and you immediately regret opening your mouth. You really should have thought about what you say. “How did you like it?”

“Honestly, I have no idea how you got away with making it, if I was your ex I wouldn’t have let you make it.”

“She saw it.”

“I bet she loved it.”

“She loved it when it happened in real life and I didn’t lie in the film,” he shrugs and the blush is back on your cheeks as you think about everything you saw in that film. The most intimate moments of a quite passionate relationship were revealed right in front of you and if you are being honest, you felt like part of it by the end, no matter how disturbing it was to see Adam in such scenes.

“I’m actually surprised you watched it.”

“Why? You were nonstop bugging me to watch it.”

“Yeah, but I thought you wouldn’t.”

“Well, I did and the trauma can’t be undone now,” you give him a look and checking the time you see that if you don’t leave now you’ll be late and Matt will be furious at the both of you.

You manage to dodge any further questions about the film as the two of you head for rehearsal, though you can tell he is curious about what you really think. It was definitely not a good idea to bring it up right before rehearsal, because now you have to get through 90 minutes pressed up against him, dancing to an incredibly romantic song, staring dreamily into each other’s eyes. Not ideal.

The song is critical. Not because it’s that bad, but because you are a real sucker for the kind of music in movies that could make you cry because they are so perfect for the scene. You’ve seen the movie way too many times and dreamed about dancing with that one person, but you never thought you’d actually dance to this song with someone and that person is now Adam.

It’s all fun and games when you are just learning the basics, not even touching, just standing in a line with Matt in front of the mirror and dancing like you have an imaginary partner. You keep peeking at Adam in the mirror and he is not that bad, in fact, he is doing great so far, you don’t know why he said he is not a good dancer.

“Okay, ready to combine?” Matt claps his hands, wiggling his eyebrows as he takes a step back, giving the two of you space to get close.

You hesitantly turn to Adam who closes the distance with one long step, standing right in front of you. Looking up at him you remember Lora’s comment on his height when it will be like to kiss him and you quickly furrow your eyebrows trying to get rid of the thought.

“What’s the look for?” Adam smirks down at you, tilting his head to the side gently.

“Nothing,” you purse your lips.

Matt helps you find the right position, Adam’s palm feels warm on your back and you suddenly wish your shirt was a bit thicker, covering you better. You feel his defined muscles under your palm on his shoulder and your eyes linger a little longer at the way your hand gets lost in his hold.

You first try it without the music, mostly both of you staring down at your feet to make sure you are doing the steps right and Matt gives you time to adjust, but you can’t keep your head down forever.

“Alright, let’s make a try and this time try to look into each other’s eyes at least half the time,” Matt requests and you bite into your bottom lip, trying to control your nerves. This is just dancing with Adam, the weird guy who made a kinky film about his past relationship, remember? He is weird!

But he is so tall and his eyes are so dreamy and his hands are…

“Okay, five, six, seven, eight!” Matt’s clapping interrupts your thoughts as you start the choreography again.

You have to watch your feet at first so you know you’re heading in the right direction, but a few steps later you force yourself to bring your gaze up and your eyes meet his.

It just hits different. Being so close to him, feeling his touch on your back and palm, you suddenly feel a strong urge to run your fingers through his hair and you almost do it before you tell yourself to behave. There is just something in him that makes your whole mind stop working properly even though you have a pretty strong opinion about him and the kind of man that he is.

For a spare second you even forget to breathe as you are staring into his eyes and there’s a feeling in your guts that you just can’t identify and before you could get further in this sensation Matt’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

“Amazing, this will look fantastic!”

You force a small smile to your face as you look at the choreographer and he brought you back to reality just in time.

You try to lock this feeling up in the remaining time so you don’t embarrass yourself with something. The last thing you need is to say something that gives away the conflict you are having in you.

“You’re always so fast to leave!”

Adam’s voice stops you when you are already out in the hallways, ready to leave and stay unnoticed, but that last part apparently did not work. Wrapping your hands around the strap of your bag you turn around and see him heading in your way with long steps, his hair flowing with him.

“Why should I be here without getting paid for my time?” you tilt your head with a half-smile and your comment makes him laugh.

“Good point. Do you have to be somewhere?” he asks catching up with you and now you are walking towards the exit side by side.

“Apart from my bed? Not really.”

“Great, then let’s get a beer or something.”

“It’s not a suggestion or an invitation, he states it like you’ve agreed on it weeks ago and you find yourself being quite okay with it.

Settling in a nearby place you order yourself the beer that’s been talked about, but Adam just sticks with iced tea and you give him a puzzled look for his choice.

“You said we are getting a beer.”

“Yeah, for you. I don’t drink.”

“What?”

“I’m a recovered alcoholic, I don’t drink,” he explains and now you have another piece of information about him that you put into your little Adam Sackler file in your head.

“So you are trying to get me drunk?”

“I’m not saying I don’t hope to have you spill something juicy about yourself, but I’m not forcing you to drink either.”

There’s a boyish smile playing on his lips and you roll your eyes at him as the drinks soon land on your table.

You find it amusing how fast he can make you forget about everything you’ve been thinking about when you thought about him, and make you see him just as this funny, carefree person who is sitting right across you at the table. He really is funny and it’s not just the beer that’s telling you this, he has a great sense of humor, he is especially talented in saying the funniest things with the straightest face, just staring at you like he is meaning every single word that leaves his mouth when you both know it’s all just bullshit.

“I’m honestly having a hard time figuring you out,” you sigh leaning back in your chair, fingers fidgeting with your second beer on the table. You’re definitely not drunk, just loose in the best kind of way.

“What’s so hard about it?” he tilts his head, genuinely interested in your answer.

“I don’t know, you are just… It’s like you have these different personalities and I can never know which is the real one.”

“What personalities?” he chuckles at your theory.

“One is this funny, normal guy,” you start gesturing towards him. “Then there is the kinky bastard who spanks girls and then there is this mysterious, serious side that I always see in rehearsals.”

“Kinky bastard?” he chuckles, clearly enjoying the discussion. “You’ll never let go of the spanking, right?”

“It just doesn’t fit into the picture,” you explain.

“That’s because we never had sex and we haven’t spent that much time together outside of rehearsals. I’m working there, of course I’m being serious! That’s just how adults act in serious scenarios. But the rest is just simply me, a mixture of the things you just said.

“So you are just a funny, normal guy with a hint of kinky?”

“Probably more than a hint, but yeah,” he nods smirking.

Spending time outside of rehearsal really helps you see Adam as a whole, the mixture of the sides you’ve experienced from him and you feel like it has brought him closer to you as a person, a colleague and maybe as a friend. You find him an amazing company actually, a great partner to discuss different kind of things. He has a somehow different view of the world than you, but you also agree on many things and this creates the perfect base for an actually interesting and enjoyable conversation.

“Stop!” You gasp laughing as you try to get Adam off a pole on your way home after he decided he is strong enough to hold himself up horizontally on it, but he is just probably getting close to knocking it straight out of the ground.

“They should make these more massive!” he grunts jumping back to the ground.

“You are massive,” you snort as the two of you leave the poor pole and continue walking towards your building.

“I am. In all means,” he smirks at you and you imitate gagging. His dirty comments stopped bothering you, he kept sneaking in something inappropriate into the conversation throughout the night and you just kind of got used to it. This is how he is, a kinky bastard, but at least a funny one.

“You know, we should hang out more often,” he suggests galloping ahead of you and turning to face you he does a funny dance move that makes you laugh.

“Oh yeah? So I should spend my little free time outside of rehearsals with the same person I’m with all day?”

“We are not together all day,” he protest and you just chuckle, knowing well he is right, you just felt like exaggerating. “You didn’t have fun tonight?” he asks as he returns next to you, walking side by side.

“I did.”

“Great. Then we will spend more time together,” he nods and it’s not a suggestion anymore, he is stating it like the most certain fact ever.

You don’t protest.

 Sometimes rehearsals are like one big chaos, especially when everyone is present on the stage, all dancers and actors with the production staff, but there’s no other way to rehears the big dancing scenes.

Today it’s the park scene again, you are wearing another flowy dress Misha gave you, that resembles to the one you’ll be actually wearing, Adam is dressed in dark jeans and a black shirt, nothing extra, and he seems to be enjoying that everyone around him is doing their absolute best while he has to do that one lifting and nothing else, just follow you around the stage.

Clyde is at the back, he has only a little stage time as the prince is looking for Giselle in the park, so beside Adam he is the other person who doesn’t have much to do.

“How do you know he loves you?” you sing with a bright smile and big gestures, grabbing Adam’s wrist as you pull from one place to another, dancers following around, the scene constantly changing around you to make it look like you are on the move. “How do you know he’s yours?”

You catch Adam smirking and you already know he is thinking about something dirty, as per usual. You do the lifting and you feel his hand smacking your ass when he puts you down, no one notices, but you shoot him a glare to which he just smirks again.

“Okay, amazing. Take ten, we’ll see the final part a few more times!” Trevor instructs when the music stops and people starts flowing off the stage.

“Stop touching my butt,” you tell Adam, the two of you walking towards the edge of the stage.

“I can’t, it’s just always in the way,” he holds up two hands innocently and you just roll your eyes at him.

“Hey, do you guys have any plans for tonight?” Clyde walks up with a bright smile as he joins the two of you, fingers fidgeting with the water bottle in his hands.

“I’m babysitting my niece,” Adam answers running a hand through his hair.

“You have a niece?” you turn to him surprised.

“I do,” he simply nods and it doesn’t seem like he is about to share any more details so you turn back to Clyde.

“I’m free.” “Wanna go for a drink maybe or something? I’m so done sitting at home when I’m not here.”

“Sure,” you nod and watch Clyde walk away smiling back at you.

“He is still trying hard to get into your pants,” Adam scoffs and you turn to him with a grimace.

“He is not.”

“Oh he surely is. I’m pretty sure he thinks this is a date or something like that.”

“It’s not a date.”

“Tell that to him, because the dude is keen on fucking you, princess.”

You eventually give up trying to convince Adam about your truth, and you also realize you don’t owe him a word. You know what this really is and that’s all that matters. Adam can think whatever he wants, that still doesn’t make it real.

“So you’re really going out with him, huh?” Adam comes up to you once rehearsal is over. You glance up at him nodding while you’re packing your stuff up.

“Yeah, why?”

“I’m telling you, he thinks this is more than just casual drinking.”

“So then what?” you sigh, confused about why he is so worked up by the thought of you and Clyde having a few drinks. “I’m single, he is a nice guy, maybe I also think of it as more. Is that not an option?”

He genuinely seems surprised by your answer and it tells you he clearly didn’t think of this version. Frowning a bit he tilts his head.

“So that’s your type?”

“Stop using that tone, please,” you sigh zipping your bag and heading to the door, Adam following you right behind.

“Okay, I’m sorry, but still, that’s not how I imagined your type to be.”

“You often think about what my type is?”

“I did a few times, yes.”

“Then stop,” you sigh stopping and looking at him. “It’s not like you have a word in it or something. If you hate the idea of me and Clyde going out so much, just come. He invited you as well.”

“I told you, I’m babysitting my niece. My sister would lose her shit if I cancelled.”

“Then there’s nothing I can do for you. Just stop thinking about it,” you shrug, clearly over it, but Adam is not on the same page.

“Cancel on him.”

“Why would I do that?” you ask with a puzzled chuckle.

“Because…” he is searching eagerly for the right words, his hands anxiously tapping on his thighs. This is a waste of time, you think to yourself.

“See you at the next rehearsal, Adam,” you sigh walking away.

 Clyde is awesome. Clyde is exactly the person you imagined for yourself a little while ago, he is nice, funny and just overall a good person. You enjoy spending time with Clyde and you find him attractive, but…

But something is just off and you can’t tell what it is.

Sitting in a bar with him that evening you can’t stop thinking about that one thing that’s making you not fall for him even though you know you should be. Adam’s words keep repeating in your mind about how he is not what he thought your type would be.

Of course he is my type! You basically tell yourself defiantly, cursing Adam out for planting such thoughts into your mind. Stupid Adam!

By the time you and Clyde part your ways you are pretty sure this wasn’t a date which is a relief, but it still got you thinking why you are so against dating Clyde. On your way home you catch yourself pulling your phone out of your bag to text Adam and tell him you were right when you stop in your way in the middle of the street.

“Are you stupid?” some random guy growls at you who almost bumps into you. Looking up you mumble a short sorry before looking back down at your phone.

Adam was all you thought about all evening, you saw him in everything Clyde said and now he is your first thought and the person you want to talk to. He sneaked his way into all of your thoughts and this is starting to feel concerning.

Adam is not your type. He just can’t be.

Clyde should be.

Not Adam.

Right?

Right?!

-

general/forever taglist for Adam Driver

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Adam taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Adam fics!

@superdriver​ @siren-queen03​ @holacherrycola90​ @spencer-is-amazing​ @unusual-kindred-spirits @hailthemightywoecloud @holy-kylo-stars​ @kowalskibro-adamdriverblog​ @hurricanesunset​ @writerandee​ @luxury-0pps​ @prncess91​ @malefoygal​ @zaahidahhh​ @filternotincluded @fire-in-her-veinz​ @emily-strange @ktellmeastory​ @grouchosgirl​ @tapismyforte​ @unusual-driver-paterson​ @beeblisss​ @septicvic97​ @cackleifyou​ @gotiashley​

if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!

[one-piece-dumpster-fire]

OMG I love your Yandere headcannons. There soooooo gooooood. Can I request a Yandere Sanji and Zoro? There a bit unlikely but Im addicted to your cannons.

Uuuuhhhsorry for the late reply^^ this is quite an interesting request though,let’s see if I came up with something good for it haha xD

Obviously warningfor very disturbing themes ahead, yeah I’m talking implied non-con, mentioned abuse, overall creepiness- this is yandere so super dark and please don’t read it if you feeluncomfortable with stuff like this!!!

Yandere!Sanji headcanon

hisinfatuation with you pretty much began like every other- he would getheart eyes, swoon whenever you were nearby, and proclaim his loveloud and for everyone to hear, but… soon enough, something insideof him changed. Drastically.

perhapsit was simply the way you would smile at him, or how your eyes seemedto beam whenever he was near (even though he’s the only one seeingthat…) but at some odd point Sanji is convinced that you actuallywant him just as much as he wants you

so…in his mind, you and him are basically a couple already. Even thoughyou never said you loved him. However, if you accidentally did makethe mistake (and even once is enough!) to joke around and playfullyflirt back… it is over.

youwon’t even notice his changed behaviour at first- sure, Sanji is moretouchy and needy for your attention than usual, but other than that?He still seems pretty normal… right…?

ohif you only knew what was happening in his mind and behind thescenes- inside of his locker the walls are covered in pictures ofyou, and some are even perverted drawings he made himself since henever got to see you in your full, naked glory… and honey you don’t wannaknow what he’s doing with those pictures sometimes…

onepicture stands out from the rest as especially disturbing though- itis a cut-out from a wedding magazine, where he glued a picture of yourface over the one of the bride and a shot of his own head over theone of the groom… and to him, that picture is an accurate depiction of the immediate future

funny enough, throughout the entire ordeal he still views his love as true andpure, completely unaware of how sickening and unhealthy it actuallyis and never realizes that this isn’t love, but an unhealthyobsession

youprobably wouldn’t believe it, but in his most desperate times (mainlywhen you’re talking to the Marimo), Sanji did think about poisoninghis rival’s food. God, do you see what’s happening??? What you’redoing to him??? You’re driving him to the point where he would evenstart to consider breaking one of his iron rules, just to keep you safe and by his side!!!

oh lord, he simply needs to have you… with every passing day his needto feel you simply increases, but clearly you aren’t ready… ah, butyou want him too, right…? So it’s okay for him to help you, right?!  … and that night, you were invited to a ‘midnight snack’ with Sanji… however, what you don’t know is- that he put strong aphrodisiacs into yourfood…

andthat night will go down in his books as your wedding night with him,whether you like it or not- he finally got to feel your ‘love’ and show his ‘love’ to you, so you are now his.

Yandere!Zoroheadcanon

it’sa slow progress with him- his feelings, his infatuation, hisdesire to be with you- it all takes some time to grow. It’s not easyfor Zoro to decipher his feelings and often he pushes them aside, butat some point he has to admit to himself that it’s simply notpossible to ignore everything anymore…

allof a sudden he starts with getting very protective, especially when someone hedoesn’t like is around (aka Snooj), and he will start a fight withabout anyone who looks at you funny. But in the end Zoro always managesto somehow talk himself out of it or find some sort of half-assedexcuse for you to believe

uffff jealousy is a really big thing with this guy. Not only will he fighteveryone, he will even go as far as being purposefully and outwardlythreatening whenever he is with you- it’s almost as if he’s silentlytelling everyone to back up, because you’re his….

deepwithin himself, Zoro is convinced that you don’t need anyone else around.Heck, if anything they make it way more difficult for him to be closeto you or worse might even try to take you as their own… so even thoughhe is very clumsy about the whole thing at first, Zoro tries to isolate you asgood as possible. Mainly by using violence. Or threats. Or straightup murder

maybethings wouldn’t have escalated if he had someone to talk to about hisfeelings… if he was willing to open up… but he can’t even do that, not evenwith you!!! Zoro simply expects you to catch onto all of his triesto flirt and be romantic, and if you don’t he’ll get really irritatedand pissed. Seriously pissed. It’s honestly quite scary.

literallythe only thing that seems to get him happy again aside from alcoholis when you are not only around, but actually happy as well. Your smile islike a charger that gets his battery going again, and even thoughthat weird fuzzy feeling makes him a bit uncomfortable at first, itsoon turns into somewhat of a drug which he can’t live withoutanymore.

youwill be forced into both this relationship as well as countless situations you’re not going to like, and more than once will you find himholding one of his swords to your throat and threatening to killyou if you ever dare to leave him. It’s simple, really. Be his ordie. All of his tries to win you over by being romantic didn’t seemto work anyway, so now it’s time for the hard way.

ironicallyhe will treat you… really got for most of the relationship. Sure,there is always his jealousy shining through every now and then butother than that… he is loving and caring, wants you to be happy(completely ignoring that you didn’t even want this relationship inthe first place) and does whatever he can to keep you safe…

butat night, before you and him go to sleep, Zoro will always unsheath asword and put it right between you and him on the bed- so you canfeel the cold steel against your soft skin and are permanentlyreminded that he could end your life within a single moment.

but despiteall of his threats, Zoro never actually gets physical with you- no, he loves you way too much for it. Even if you wouldreally leave him, he’d probably just catch and lock you awaysomewhere because the thought of losing and having to live withoutyou is haunting him way too much. No, he’ll simply love you and makessure you’re safe, even if it means that he has to turn into amonster.

[super-optimisticgentleman]

Replay

Yamada Hizashi has been missing for fifteen years after a night out on patrol. Though his body was ever found though most suspected the Voice hero to be deceased until......

*Fifteen years ago, Aizawa Shota married Yamada Hizashi.

*The two of them had an argument one night (caused by Shota's self-doubts or something) which results in Hizashi leaving for patrol. (I love you," The Voice Hero smiled softly at his husband, hoping his words would reach the other and smooth his doubts, but silence was his only answer. It's crushing, but he keeps his smile in place as he leaves; the door softly clicking shut behind him. )

*Hizashi never returns from his patrol. (They never found his body. The only thing they found of the Voice Hero was his shattered speaker splattered with the blond's own blood.)

*Eight years later, a young blonde named Hitoshi Zashi takes the AU entrance test with his adopted bother/best friend: Hitoshi Shinso.

*Hitoshi Zashi is Yamada Hizashi. He doesn't remember anything before being found half dead by a younger Shinso.

*Both end up in Class 1A. (Rescue points for Shinso and Battle Points for Zashi as they worked together. Zashi destroying the robots and Shinso saving anyone caught in the crossfire.)

*Aizawa Shota refused to believe Hizashi is dead and is haunted by his own past decisions/regrets while searching for his husband. He can't help but begin to lose hope of ever finding Present MIc alive after ten fruitless years until Hitoshi Zashi walks into his classroom with a familiar face, familiar smile, familiar glasses, a familiar quirk.

*Shota tries to get closer to Zashi (certain the other is somehow connected with the disappearance of his husband) but Shinso is constantly throwing his efforts as he doesn't like the desperate look their teacher is always granting his (in his own opinion) obvious brother.

*Zashi is a genius and not nearly as Obvious as Shinso thinks he is though where Shinso sees desperation, Zashi sees a soul-numbing sadness that his presence seems capable of lifting; so he tries to reach out so to help ease Eraserhead's burden. (After all, what type of Hero would he be if he didn't at least try to help?)

*USJ still happens though Zashi ends up sharing a hospital room with Shota due to him slipping pass 'the creepy mist dude' and Shinso to chase after his teacher despite being ordered to flee with the others. ("What were you thinking?!" "Honestly, I don't know. I had planned to follow the others," Zashi spoke as a bright familiar smile found its way onto the blonde's face, ", but the moment you jumped my body just moved to follow you instead.")

*Zashi begins to have nightmares/dreams he can't fully recall after the USJ incident. Shinso is worried/overprotective.

*Recovery Girl makes a discovery while running test to ensure here two patients have a clean bill of health and delivers startling news to the faculty of UA. ( The old woman cleared her throat as she stepped forward until she replaced Nezu at the head of the room, "Due to the USJ Incident, I found myself running some basic test on the samples collected by the students caught within the crossfire. By doing so I have unearthed a discovery of most importance," She took a moment to breathe as her eyes slowly drifted the room's occupants before locking onto those of Aizawa Shota as she knew this would affect him the most, "According to the databanks, Hitoshi Zashi has a 100% DNA match to one Yamada Hizashi.")

*The discovery brings about utter Discord.

*Shinso begins to notice the looks the other teachers are granting Zashi and assumes the worse. He's fully convinced AU is full of child predators who are solely attracted to his brother. Shinso finds himself desperate (He can't always be with Zashi and every time he turns his back one of them seem to be trying to make a move on his poor obvious brother) for help and begins to recruit others to his cause.

*After careful observation of their teacher's interactions with Zashi, Class 1-A becomes the 'Hitoshi Zashi Protection Squad' and starts to recruit the friends Zashi made outside of Class 1A to their cause.

*Zashi has a talk with Katsuki Bakugou (The two of them have formed a surprising 'Business Agreement'-coughFriendshipcough- while tutoring each other in subjects they need help with that the other excels at. Bakugou: English, Zashi: Combat experience.) about what he can recall of his dreams. (Zashi doesn't tell Shinso about them as the other seems overstressed lately and he doesn't want to make things worse by dropping his problems on his brother.)

*After a bit of accidentally eavesdropping (If the teachers didn't want to be overheard they shouldn't be talking so loud outside.) Bakugou begins to make a connection between Zashi and the assumed dead Voice Hero: Present Mic. He eventually comes to the conclusion Hitoshi Zashi is Present Mic under the effects of a quirk that was probably meant to kill him instead of dealing him and leaving him amnesiac. Unfortunately, due to not fully overhearing the conversation, the explosive blond also comes to the conclusion the teachers are out to finish the job. ("-after that, Hitoshi Zashi will die and cease to exist.")

*Bakugou becomes an overprotective guard dog to a slightly confused by happy Zashi while reaching out to Mei Hatsume (having been introduced to him through Zashi) for a private commission.

*Moving into the dorms both simplify yet complicates matters.

*The Zashi Protection Squad hold a meeting while Zashi slips away from his current guard: Mineta only to run into Aizawa Shota, Iida Tensei, and Kayama Nemuri. The three end up at a Cat Cafe where the three heroes tell stories from their Highschool years in hopes of jogging the other's memories lose. After the Cafe, the four of them end up at an arcade and to no one's surprise: Zashi is still the DDR King.

*Bakugou, meanwhile, is pissed at the grapefucker as he, Shinso and the rest of Class 1A search for the missing Blond. Said group almost suffers a massive heart attack seeing the blond being 'shepherded' into a deserted, filthy back alley by three people- two of which they're certain are out to kill said blond. (The real reason they were heading that way was due to Shota seeing a stray cat sleeping in said alley and wanting to pet it for a bit.)

*Zashi is confused (He's certain his classmates are lying as he didn't have anything planned with them today), the Heroes a bit confused (All their students keep looking at them as though they were about to murder someone) and suspicious at their student's behavior, and Class 1A is relieved/terrified to how close Zashi came to certain death the moment they looked away. Many of them begin to understand Shinso's desperation.

*The teachers hold a conference back at UA. Most are confused noticing their students suddenly shift in behavior (expect Nezu who knows about the misunderstanding going on the whole time.) and try to figure out what has caused it. (Nezu finds the whole ordeal amusing. )

*THE SPORTS FESTIVAL.

*Bakugou and Mei bequeath Zashi with dimensional speakers identical to the one's Present Mic owned (Both of them agree, that with them Zashi would be capable of protecting himself for a bit without needing a constant guard dog/extra shadow always by his side.).

*Zashi can use the speakers at the festival due to a loophole. Due to the speakers, the dreams and extra training with Bakugou, Zashi makes it into the top three at the end of the festival. (Aizawa and Ms. Joke are the announcers. )

*Zashi finally(!) get some time to himself without his classmates or brother all but suffocating him with their presences. Wanting answer, Zashi leaves UA and follows an invisible path he could recall from his dreams. At the end of the trail, he finds a strangely familiar house belonging to an elderly Mrs. and Mrs. Yamada. (He shouldn't have knocked, Zashi knew that; but at the same time he felt like he had to. He wanted to. He needed to see whoever was behind this door and he needed it yesterday.)

*Mrs. and Mrs. Yamada recognize Zashi for Hizashi instantly. (Maybe he should have panicked- the woman had practically suffocated him with her hug before rushing him inside of her home and bolting the door shut- but for some reason, Zashi didn't feel threatened. Instead, he felt safe. Even as the woman's crying and screams drew out another woman with beautiful cyan-colored hair.)

*Zashi has been missing for a week, the UA Faculty and the Zashi Protection Squad panic. Meanwhile, Zashi learns about the reason for the attack that resulted in Yamada Hizashi becoming Hitoshi Zashi. (Yamada Hizashi was attacked on patrol, not because he was Present Mic; but rather due to his parents- One by blood and one by choice- being Hunters. Aka: Heroes who hunt other Heroes that had betrayed everything they stood for, drowning in blood they'll never be able to wash away, and can only be saved/stopped by death. His Death was meant to be a vengeance killing against his parents by the Kin of one of their targets. He had only survived due to sheer luck and one Hitoshi Shinso. His attackers weren't so lucky once his parents sunk their claws into them. )

*Despite having searched, his parents don't know a way to reverse the effect of the quirk- they didn't really ask before doing away with what they believed to be their child's killers- nor a way for Zashi to fully remember more than what he dreams about.

*A wild Eraserhead appears in the dead of night.

*Deeming UA unsafe by both himself and Hizashi's parents, Shota finds himself in a difficult position. ("E-excuse me?" Shota stuttered slightly certain he had misheard his mother-in-law. "I said," The blonde meet his eyes head on, "I want you to take Hizashi and leave the country." )

*Shota has to make a decision.( Does he take the mostly amnesiac child that is his husband and abandon everyone else to keep him safe or does he stay and risk endangering the most amnesiac child that is his husband to protect everyone else? )

*Right or Wrong, Shota makes his decision.

 That's all I got right now. So, here is the main question: Should I make a story out of this, leave it as is or see about making it a comic?

[herstarburststories]

catastrophic night. — Dick Grayson x Reader

A/N: Hello, I’m V and love Batboys requests, keep sending them. Thanks. Hope you like it!

Beta: @lyss-91

Request: Hey there! (If you’re still doing asks/requests) could you do a Dick Grayson x reader where by day they’re best friends/crushing on each other and by night reader works for the League of Assassins and they’re enemies? Secret identities, of course😉 thank you! Love your writing!

+ Damian has a sister x brother relationship with Reader

﹏

“Do you have plans for tonight?” You asked in a tedious voice, as if it was just a simple question inside a ordinary conversation. That would probably trick anyone, but not Dick Grayson, the person who had known you for a long time and, of course, is the son of the world’s greatest detective and a detective himseld. Not that you were aware of that Batman’s part.

“(Y/N)…” He tried, knowing exactly what you had in mind. You just rolled your eyes and let your back rest against the chair you were sitting on. Having someone who knew you as deeply as he did was such a blessing, especially when the said someone was your best friend. You often didn’t need to look for pretty words and babble until he found out what was bothering you, Dick somehow was aware of the way you reacted to things. How your feelings worked, most of time. He was very considerate, loving, and sweet. Then, no surprise he was always surrounded by applicants. The former acrobat was full of positive traits in his personality. And the way he looked? Yeah, no way he wouldn’t be everyone’s type.

Which included you. No, it was not part of the plan, falling in love with him was never a situation you looked forward to. You just couldn’t help it. And God, did you demand yourself to stop. Even ignoring him for a couple days, though you weren’t able to keep it up. The way his blue eyes followed every move of yours after one week of avoiding him, somewhere between hurt and confused, trying so hard to find out what happened, if he did something wrong, just too much for you to bare with.

And here you were. In love with the man who had become your best friend, whom was also your well known friend, Damian Wayne’s, brother.

“Come on. Don’t give me that judgmental glare, Golden Boy.” And that subject emerged from nowhere once again. Why couldn’t he just let it off and accept your denial state? “We could pick up Damian and go to McDonald’s. They have a vegetarian hamburger now, and I promised Damian I wouldn’t try it without him." 

”(Y/N), I know why you are calling me to go hang out today.“ You sighed, dodging your eyes from his. You wouldn’t admit it. "I know you don’t want to have dinner with him, but you could at least give him a chance.” Since you met your sister’s girlfriend, you were sure something was off with that girl. Amaya, or whatever her real name was, could be very charming with both talking and appearance wise, but her tattoo showed another side of her. The symbol carved on her skin until death screamed a position: League of Assassin’s member. You couldn’t tell Dick about that, clearly. He did not know about your night life, only his youngest brother was acquainted with that small, big information. Yet, you hadn’t tell Damian about that little surprise at home either, as much as he would not be surprised but pissed for you. It was a typical warning from the League, their most gentle way to reminder you to keep your loyalty, to finish the plan. “I trust your instincts, but you can’t just hate the woman your sister is in love with because you felt bad vibes from her. She needs your support.” You had to admit that was such a lame excuse you gave Dick to hate on Amaya, but that was all you had. Wasn’t a completely lie, as well. “Hey.” Grayson put his hand on your cheek, giving you that warm smile that only he could’ve as you finally let your eyes be pleased with the sight of him. “If you want, I could go with you. Maybe call Damian.”

“Thank you, Dick. But you are right, I have to give her a chance. (Y/S/N) does seem happy. And I should be there for here.” You smiled at him, not really going to give Amaya a chance for obvious reasons, like her capacity of murdering your whole family if you blinked the wrong way, but appreciating his sweet support. Dick felt your cheek get bigger on his mouth as you face showed an amused expression, and it made his own corners of the mouth turn up in full happiness. He could literally feel the woman he was in love with showing a lovely grin, that was enough to make his worst day worth every breath. Although you were going to give Amaya a chance and spend time with your beloved family. You would be happy, so would him, then. Even though Dick would miss that meeting at McDonald’s. “Still, McDonald’s tomorrow for lunch?”

“It doesn’t sound very healthy.” He pulled his hand away with a smirk. Both of you missed the touch at the second it was taken off you, but he didn’t want to make it awkward by keeping his hand on your soft skin for too long and you didn’t want to make it weird by asking him to remain there. “I’m in. I will ask Damian to come.”

“Alright. I better go, dinner will be ready soon.” You got up your sit at the snack bar as he followed your moves, a usual gentleman act of his. “See you tomorrow.” You hugged him, receiving his arms around his body in a strong yet soft grip back. That. That felt even safer than learning combat skills from Talia, one of the best fighters you’ve even heard of.

“Text me to let me know how it goes.” Dick referred to Amaya situation and you nodded, letting go of his body another time. You held back the need of pulling him into a second hug and just grabbed your wallet to get some money. Before he could deny it as always, you put a couple dollars on the table. “(Y/N)!”

“I ate too, Dick. I won’t let you pay for it alone, I can pay my bills.” He was about to retort to you, saying it wasn’t what he meant, you just rolled your eyes, fully aware that was not the nature of this. “Don’t fight me on this, Grayson. You will lose, as always.” With a smirk and a wink, you left him.

╮

Someone who did not always lose when it came to you? Nightwing. Unlike Dick, that guy was a hard obstacle. He knew how to fight and he did that with grace and, as shocking as it seems, jokes. You otherwise used your violence like art, every movement was a brushstroke on the surface of your painting; the combat itself. No funny words slipped from your mouth, only cold, threatening phrases. This was part of your living you couldn’t erase, you would die by its life someday, but not tonight. That night was about killing another one with a mask on.

You had no idea why, as if you ever did need to, the League of Assassins wanted Nightwing, visible Robin’s partner at times, dead as soon as you could lay your sword on him. But it was harder than you would picture. You never wasted your time on mistakes, like letting one of your enemies — League’s Enemies — out of a fight breathing air. Yet here you were, already fighting that moon viligant for weeks. Yes, he was one hell of a fighter, apart from it wasn’t supposed to be so difficult. Talia wouldn’t be amused, she wasn’t by now, Amaya was a walking proof. It was like you had grown soft, sentimental to other people, an aspect that the League absolutely despised. Though, you could not help it. First, seeing Damian able to live a normal life with his father, without being trained continuously to improve his killing capacity at a young age, just craving for his mother’s affection and his grandfather approval. He was happy. The kid was her only string to her own humanity for so long and now he was genuinely happy. Not just satisfied with a new fighting skill or temporarily relaxed while spending time with you, but really daily content with his life. 

There was also Dick. He became your best friend when you visited Damian at his new house from the first time. Right, it wasn’t an immediate deep friendship, you two became closer as the months went by and suddenly a year was gone and you two experience what was like a decade of familiarity with each other. He showed you kindness, good, among with Damian, an example of someone who left the League and got a peaceful, great existence. They made you wonder what it would be like to be like this, to have it. You wanted that.

Of course you could see you family when you wanted to, and wasn’t at a mission too far away from the city they lived in aka Gotham, though it wasn’t the same thing as that. You got a kind of vocation to see Damian, how you missed him, but it extended when Nightwing mission came up. It had been a year, time for you to go back to the place which didn’t feel like home, yet was the only you knew as such. Besides, failing denoted Talia herself coming to Gotham, you didn’t want Damian facing his mother at this moment of his life.

Still, Nightwing let out a bad pun before you and him left into the well known comfortableness of the night after another hard, gaining no winners fight.

Damn it.

Text messages

(Y/N), 10:30pm: It was okay. I still do not like her, but I was sympathetic most of the time. Even mom was impressed. 

Dick, 10:31pm: Told ya, people can surprise you in a good way.

(Y/N), 10:31pm: They also can surprise you in a bad way.

(Y/N), 10:31pm: Grayson.

Dick, 10:32pm: Yeah?

(Y/N), 11:00pm: Would you hate me if I surprised you in a bad away?

Dick, 11:01pm: I wouldn’t hate you.

(Y/N), 11:03pm: What if it was really a bad surprise?

Dick, 11:04pm: I couldn’t hate you. 

Dick, 11:05pm: You are my best friend.

(Y/N), 11:07pm: Don’t let Damian read it.

(Y/N), 11:08pm: You are mine, too.

(Y/N), 11,08pm: Damian is still the first one, thought.

Dick, 11:08pm: I’m hurt now.

╮

“TT. I do not see any aim on this, (Y/N). Mother is going to be very disappointed if we do not train her new attack position. I must learn it by the sleep of the sun.” Said Damian, the one child around and who were responsible for since he was born. You were the third person to hold him, after Talia and the midwife who helped bringing him to this world. You couldn’t say you raised him, but you did spend a lot of his days together, predominantly training when he wasn’t with his relatives.

“Come on, Damian. It will be cool. You deserve a break, we’ve been traning hard since you could walk. Your first world was katanna.” You tried to persuade him. Damian deserved a piece of his stolen innocence, freedom back, in addition, he was the only person you cared for and trusted here. Then, seeing him obligated to fight with no knowledge on other options, how living actually looked and felt like, was rather a torture that you accepted in silence.

“I do appreciate my blade very much. And training is what made me… Me. I am the Grandson of the Devil, I require you to get up the floor and fight me until one of us beg for mercy while coughs in blood. I—” This kid acted like a grown ass man. It did break your heart a little. He was so young, yet there was no childhood to be seen. It was a right robbed by birth.

“You are getting a break and painting with me.” You stucked with your decision. Even though he didn’t get what you did at his age, you could still give him a little bit of harmless fun. After all, you did owe his one. Damian wasn’t conscious of that, or he did in silent and agreement, but he was your humanity part inside the League. And you were every good intention he ever get directed to him.

“That is useless. It will not help me to increase my fighting skills.” Damian refused, ceptical that would be any help. He was in charge of a mission, turning himself into the best. It was this way since he was born, like mother and grandfather. Having fun or experiencing something because he wanted to was not a main objective or even a thought. “TT. A coloring book? I am not a child, (L/N).”

“Should I remind you your own age, Damian?” You arched an eyebrow. Wasn’t hard to know the ideas inside his head, you just decided to not let those win. “Come on. For me. We are best friends here, aren’t we?” Damian blushed in shame for the old position he’d gave you when he was younger and naiver. “We can train for hours with no stop after that, promise. I also bought some blank papers so you can drawn if you’d wish.” You put your hands up to show you were not lying. The boy watched you for a couple seconds, analyzing.

“TT. Whatever. Since we are training to recover this unnecessary wasted time.” Damian put his sword away with a frown, crossed arms as he sat down in front of you.

╮

You continued to read your book as you felt a presence in your apartment. For someone who was trained by the League, Amaya surely didn’t show it. You could hear her steps even if you were sleeping, so loud and weak for their criteria. 

“I would suggest you to leave my house right now or I am gonna have to clean my carpet.” Oh, here you were. The cold part of your personality consistently appearing in similar situations. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to wash out blood?”

“I have a message from Talia.” She responded. No emotion found in her voice, unlike the night before at your house, when Amaya talked politely and rubbed your sister’s back as she meant something other than a work to be done. The blood in your veins ran faster, burning like toxic water inside you. It wasn’t fair with your sister that her first real girlfriend, just a little bit before she came out, would be a trained assassin ready to kill her with her hands while she kissed her. She deserve a girl who’d appreciate her, not study her. “You have five nights to end Nightwing, or she is coming to Gotham.”

“Give me one. Tonight it is going to end. You better enjoy the time with me sister while you are capable of.” You turned a page, treating the subject as the insignificant order it was supposed to be. 

“I am not weak like you, (L/N). I’m not attached to this people, but you might considered killing your precious Dick as well. Maybe so you will become the golden cold hearted murder you once were, not that piece of garbage who cannot finish a easy job.” Her words dripped envy and for the first time, you raised your head to glare her. Amaya wouldn’t touch Dick, the said facts were the problem. “We were trained to fight, not to feel. Learn that before it is too late.”

“Get out before I get tired of reading and show you how good a tongue can taste when it’s cooked with the right salsa.” There was no necessity for you to get up and show her the exit, with a blink of eye, Amaya was gone.

╮

“TT. I can’t believe I got Red Hood’s toy.” Damian huffed as he checked the present which came with his food. You grinned, finding this adorable. Dick laughed a bit.

“I know, you’d rather Nightwing. Who wouldn’t?” He winked, an inside joke there made Damian murmur something and started eating his food. Nightwing’s mention, the protector of the moon as you named him at a fight, coming to haunt your thoughts and force your tongue to sneak out.

“So, it’s my last day in town.” You said right way once your when both Dick and Damian were filling their mouths with them. It did not prevent the brothers from wide opening eyes and ‘what!?’s popping up. “Work is calling me.” You explained, giving Damian a significatiful glare. He understood, nooding slight as he look down, a french frie shutting him up before saying something too emotional. Damian was aware that you could not just ignore his mother calling you back, the consequences would be disastrous. Dick otherwise wasn’t conscious of your real work, you just lied about being a photographer who followed the beauty around the world, but he knew it would kick in sometime. Celibate time couldn’t last forever.

“Why didn’t you tell me— us before?” Dick sounded hurt. You took a deep breathe. His side was understandable, you wished you didn’t put him in this position.

“Because they called me by the night of yesterday.” Half lie, half truth. All you were able to offer him, everything you would ever be able to give him. Pieces, never an entirety.

“Is that why you asked me…” Grayson referred to yesterday’s late messaged at midnight.

“Yes. I’m sorry, Dick.” Once again, untruthful letters flying in the air. “I’m sorry, Damian. I really wish I could be here.” You kept your eyes on his green ones, attempting to assure Damian your wish wasn’t leaving him. Never was. He was the closest you had of a family for tropical, astronomical, equinoctial and solar years. He was still as important as a blood related to you.

“I know. But I understand. Be sure to come back, (L/N).” His supercilious reaction appeared as an alert for you. He was sorrowful, willing to not let it show. Exactly like he was teached to.

“Will not disappoint you, best friend.” You said delicate, catching the shine of hold tears in his green eyes.

“(L/N).” Damian nodded and get up. You were ready to do the same and get the most suffocating hug from him.

“Come here.” Opening your arms, you waited for some tender platonic love showing. He didn’t squeeze you as expect. Damian’s chin trembled and you were mindful of him about to cry.

“I need to retain myself to the male toilet for a moment, excuse me.” He announced, his quick steps heading to the bathroom.

“I think I need to talk to him a bit more.” You sniffled, deciding to leave him alone for a minute or two. The boy you almost raised required some time to digest what happened. Your attention was caught by his brother, glaring you intensely. “Dick?”

“I’m sorry, I should be more thoughtful. I know it’s your job and I’m glad you are going to do what you are passionate about again. We will miss you. I will miss you.” He let it out, stitching his neck. Guilty was as clear as the ocean into his eyes.

“I will miss you too. I already am.” You admitted, holding his hand on the table and rubbing it. That was cozy, like swimming in the beach in a hot summer day.

“I never told you that I felt more than just a friend for you. And this may be a horrible timing, but I’m in love with you, (Y/N).” Dick’s hand slowly went from yours to your waist. You could back off at any minute, he was going slow so you would be sure that was what you wanted. Your wants were guaranteed when you smiled, wrapping your hands around his neck.

“Dick Grayson, you really enjoy some dramatic moment, don’t you?” You weren’t going to waste your left time with the man you loved being ridiculous enough to try to be cool or indifferent about it. You wanted him to hear it back. “I’m in love with you just as much.” He smiled and ultimately brushed his lips against yours. This soft peck suddenly turning into a deep, emotional kiss. Two of you trying to express love, guilty, miss, everything with that intimate act both had been longing for.

“That definitely will not be the most amusing last record I ever had about you, (L/N).” Damian interrupted, making you and Dick pull away a little. You didn’t really care. The two boys you loved most were here. 

“Shut up and come here.” You pulled Damian into a group hug, adoring this moment. It was sad, but it was yours. You could definitely hold that close for  a longer time.

╰

“Master Damian, you have a visitor at the door. The lady says her name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and she wishes to see you.” Alfred informed the young Wayne, who was sitting on the couch with Dick as company. Grayson glaced at his brother, eyebrows going up as he smiled. Damian was making friends! The other one did not retribute Dick’s actions. For sure, he was very excited to see you again, but Grayson on his feet while was not amusing. He had enough of his weak spot, no need of more affect demonstration.

“Do not follow me, Grayson. I will not hesitate to throw a stick on your head.” Damian threated with words that would send goosebumps down anyone’s spine except Dick. As the small boy got up and walked to meet (Y/N), his brother followed him from distance.

“Hey, Damian. Did you forget your best friend?” You smiled when your caught his sight. Damian rolled her eyes and a typical sound of 'TT’ coming out his mouth, soon filled with a version of smile for him. (Y/N) didn’t mind grinning and hugging him as tight as possible, and getting the same act in return. You missed him so much. The League wasn’t the same, neither were you. By the way his arms kept you close and did not push you away after 0.2 seconds, you could say he missed you, too.

“I thought I was your best friend, Damian.” Grayson joked, slipping from the door. Damian let go of you immediately, glaring the gorgeous man in front of you in annoyance. “I’m Dick Grayson, his brother. I have to admit that I didn’t think Damian’s friend would be this age.” He smiled at you.

“Well, I changed his diapers, so I guess it makes me Damian’s best friend. Sorry, Dick.” You joked, laughing soft when Damian huffed. “My name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Greetings are done. Grayson, go away before I get a stick.” He practically growned, trying to push you two apart before it could get more embarrassing.

.

“The same old dance. Don’t you get bored?” The moon protector said playfully, holding his combat accessories.

“I would not wonder about that, Nightwing. This time, you will fall and I will owe your head as a prize when I leave the city.” Sounded robotic to your ears, besides there was no time to worry about your thinkings.

“My best friend leaves the city and now my best villain. Hard day for me.” You couldn’t help but vacillate at this. Again, a person you were going to murder showing they had a life, people they cared about and virce versa. He even got similar problems as you. That would be difficult. You needed to push your human side away. You were good at this, Talia taught you very well. You could do this.

“I’m giving you one last chance, Nightwing. A quick dead. Surrender.” You bended your knees, spreading your arms into your fight position.

“Not happening. I never liked it too quick, anyway.” He winked, his athletic body easily finding its own combat start spot. “Time for some entertainment.”

“You want a honorable death. I do respect that. You are a great opponent, Nightwing. Now let’s see who is good enough to stay in this world.”

One of the hardest fights that any of you ever had started happening. Nightwing was fast with his escrima sticks and astute on his dodges, like an acrobat. And you were skilfull with your knifes and very comfortable with your movements, as if fighting was just a inner free animal inside of you. He finally got a hit right on a place that would let you unconscious from the pain or at least unable to walk for enough time to call the police. Or it should have.

The opposite happened. As soon as you left Damian and Dick, you spent the rest of your day meditating, training to reline your body and mind as the League reached you. You hands were under an obligation, to kill Nightwing. The League of Assassins lived up for their name, and you were one of them. They were your family, the organization your and your victims  bloods should ran for. No excuses, no feelings, no doubts. Like a journalist exposes the truth, like a cooker cooks, like a singer sings, you were (Y/N), War’s name Laylatan Karithia, english known as Catastrophic Night, you killed killed and wasn’t a hostage of empathy or blame. Your conscious side laughed at every tear. 

All the pain Nightwing offered internally replaced with a kind of calm anger. You used that agony to turn into strength, as Talia taught you so many times after almost breaking all of your bones. That needed to be done, so you would do.

And like that, taking advantage of his surprised state, you advanced, kicking his waist, then leg and punching him on the ribs with a knife between your fingers. Nightwing screamed a scream that you could recognize, sounded like Dick. It was your mind taking care of driving you insane, trying to make you feel guilty for being obedient. The fact made you grow both furious and tormented. You were in charge of yourself, no manipulative human feels would stop you.

Throwing Nightwing on the floor as if he weight was a disconsiderative factor, you got on top of him. Placing another knife inside his body, another loud moan of pain breaking the silent night. He tried to get up and fight, even hold you back, besides his body did not allow him. Your metal had envy in the brilliant end of them, an idea which Ral’s Al Ghul was proud of a decade ago. Not to mention the fact of the place you stabbed him. His leg, near to a very important blood vase. Moon’s Protector was sweating, still picking up his stinks to fight. You could sympathize with that, your beaching body and should proved it.

“Just a few more centimeters and you will bleed until you are dead. Arteries are magical if you know how to play with them.” You smirked diabolic. At this moment, you knew Amaya was right. And so was Talia and the League of Assassins itself. You were wicked people that could never be forgiven, you shall be grateful for having as malevolent people like you, or else you’d be dead by yourself in a sewage ditch like society’s garbage because you were different, you were nefarious, degenerate, villainous on an equal footing. No good you deserved because you did no good and it was destiny. Dick would never be able to change that, neither Damian. He just had the right of his fresh start because he had no choice but growing inside this diabolical system of his mother. You on the other hand made a choice years ago. A desesparated, unratinol choice, correct. Still, a choice. Didn’t matter if you regretted it or not. “It was an amazing dance indeed, sir.”

[intexttheoutsideworld]

Review: Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

That's not how physics work.

Ant-Man and the Wasp is an American superhero movie directed by Peyton Reed starring Paul Rudd (Scott Lang), Evangeline Lilly (Hope van Dyne), and Michael Douglas (Hank Pym). It is based on the characters and storyline created by Marvel Comics, and is a direct sequel to the movie Ant-Man which was released three years prior. In addition, it's also part of the larger Marvel Cinematic Universe. Therefore, the movie takes place two years after the events of one of Marvel Studios's most successful movies Civil War (2016) wherein Scott is enlisted to help Captain America and his friends go up against Iron Man and his friends. Ant-Man and the Wasp deals with the fallout of the aforementioned fight and the legal repercussions that Scott has to endure because of it. However, as his house arrest draws to an end, Scott is forced to break the law once again in order to help the people whom he let down by having gone out on his own to assist Captain America in the fight. The movie focuses on Scott finding a way to accomplish both goals without comprising either his freedom or his chance to mend his broken relationships in addition to finding Hope's—his love interest and one of the people whom he let down—mother who is stuck in the quantum realm.

Going into this movie, I didn't really have any expectations for it. I just wanted to see if they would all fade away into grey particles at the end of the movie. (Spoiler alert: they don't disappoint.) However, I still left the movie theatre feeling more or less disappointed by the movie. I don't think I can really review this movie without revealing at least some spoilers so consider yourself warned.

Peyton Reed returns to direct the Ant-Man sequel after having taken over the original movie's project back in 2015 when Edgar Wright left because of "creative differences." And I gotta say, without the slight hints of Wright's visual comedy and glimpses of the version of the movie which he wanted to make shining through in the final product, the sequel to Ant-Man comes off as being pretty tepid. Ant-Man and the Wasp is your favorite but warm beer. It's the prettiest dress in the store but is also several sizes too large. It's that one last bowling pin you can't knock down. It's the type of movie Mindy St. Claire would be allowed to watching while living in The Medium Place. (The Good Place is also one of the best TV Shows out there so go check it out.) In short, Ant-Man is two steps away from being the next Civil War for me but it's too… passable of a movie for me to hate it.

And yes, I hated Civil War. Come at me, bro.

I'll start by listing out the two most common MCU movie problems which Ant-Man exhibited with gusto and which I thought weren't that glaring or at least bothersome until now:

They have terrible villains.

The excessive amount of jokes in the movie, especially the ones positioned at moments which are supposed to be intense or emotional, more often than not undermines the seriousness of the situation in a negative way, and therefore, bear a high risk of making the movie fail to suspend the audience's disbelief.

There are three main groups of people out to get Scotty and Co.: the FBI, the high-tech-parts-selling/greedy/murderous/morally-fucked/we're-doing-bad-things-because-we're-bad gang, and Ghost and Bill Foster. The FBI is keeping a keen eye on Scott because of his direct involvement in the Civil War fight and they're after Hope and Hank because it was their tech that Scott used in the fight in Civil War and any association with any person that's affiliated with Team Cap is against the Sokovia Accords and is considered to be against international law. There's this whole expositional soliloquy that the Special Agent in charge of Scott's case gives to his kid during the first fifteen minutes of the movie that's passed off to be a humorous moment so if you don't get it now, you'll get it when you see the movie… I guess. Then there's the high-tech-parts-selling/greedy/murderous/morally-fucked/we're-doing-bad-things-because-we're-bad gang (we'll just call them the HTPS/G/M/MF/WDBTBWB gang from now on) who is out to get them because they want their shrinkable lab because $$$ and. Well. The HTPS/G/M/MF/WDBTBWB gang is pretty self-explanatory. They're the filler villains used as a plot device so we can have dangerous action scenes and kill them off without feeling like we have a moral obligation to feel bad for them. It's a win-win situation, you see.

Then, we have Ghost (aka Ava, played by Hannah John-Kamen) and Bill Foster (Laurence Fishburne) who are also after Scott and Co. for their lab. You see, the lab in question is used as more or less of a MacMuffin in the movie and if you think about it too much, the logic behind it will start to unravel. Shit like "How did the HTPS/G/M/MF/WDBTBWB gang know that Hank and Hope had the lab to begin with? Sure, they had an inside informer in the FBI but if the FBI had already known that Hank and Hope had such a lab, you'd think that they'd have somehow figured out a way to track it down. Or, you know, issued out a warning to people that should they see a fucking SHRINKING BUILDING or a building that's suddenly enlarged SEVERAL THOUSAND TIMES ITS ORIGINAL SIZE or an abnormal indent on the ground that looked like something really big and heavy with a flat bottom had been pressed down onto it and disappeared, they should contact law enforcements immediately" will start to surface in your mind and you'll go fucking crazy. So just don't think about it.

The motives that drives Ghost and Bill are, to some extent, understandable. Back when Hank was still working for S.H.I.E.L.D., he and Ghost's dad were working on a research project together that ended up in an explosion which killed both of Ghost's parents and fucked her up. So now, her molecules are always tearing themselves apart and stitching themselves back together over and over again. It's supposedly a very painful thing to have to endure but we don't really feel or see that pain because the actress makes Ghost seem like low-rent Bellatrix Lestrange. In regards to Bill Foster, he just happened to encounter her when she was a little kid in a chance meeting and decided that he wanted to help her. He also happens to hate Hank because they were once partners and Hank was supposedly a dick yada yada yada. We also got a shot of Bill stating seemingly innocuously that he hates Hank that's meant to serve as a sort of foreshadowing to the revelation of him being the one who's been helping Ghost all this time but it falls short in my opinion. The directing is just off and I think that's why a lot of the emotional undertones of the scenes in the movie completely flew over my head.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand. Despite their rather well-established backstories, I have a lot of problems with the Ghost and Bill's storylines and their execution. Things like: how the fuck would the extraction of quantum energy from Janet (Hope's mother, played by Michelle Pfeiffer) help Ghost to repair her molecules in any way? Yes, she's been in there long enough that you can posit that she's absorbed a good amount of “quantum energy” (whatever the fuck that is), but how the fuck is one supposed to extract such a thing from a living, breathing person? Is it like extract essence from a living organism? How the fuck do you go about it? How did Ghost and Bill come up with this hypothesis? Why did they decide to steal the lab and the last part that's needed to get the Quantum Tunnel working at the same time? Why not just, I don't know, fucking wait until they've finished building the tunnel then attack them while their guard is down? In addition, at first when Hank and Hope responded to their (insane) plan of extracting quantum energy from Janet with: "No! Are you crazy, you could kill her!," Bill shouted back: "You don't know that!" (These are not direct quotes, guys.) And he was right, they didn’t. But then the movie just moves on to treating the plan as if it would actually kill Janet no matter what anyways? Um, excuse me? You can throw a bunch of physics lingo around in the movie and expect the audience to just take it to mean that the characters are smart but not show the characters contemplating the viability of Ghost and Bill's plans like the smart, rational scientists that they all supposedly are before scratching it off as being impossible and them being the evil ones? Well, here are some pretty useful science-y lingo for you, too: "margin of error," "confidence interval," "the normal distribution," "risk calculation and management," "statistics." Seriously, they're fucking scientists. Don't just rule out a hypothesis without having done a proper null hypothesis test.

I don't want to keep hating on this movie because Marvel movies are one of the few sources that I have left through which I can get my dopamine production pumping, okay? That being said, both Bill and Ghost’s character development sucks balls, man. I don't want to go too deep into it but the characters' beliefs and stances keep flip-flopping back and forth. Bill's on Ghost's side but when she threatens to do some vague, harmful thing to either Hank's and Scott's daughter (I can't remember which one she threatened), Bill turns on her and tells her that he can tolerate a lot of the things she does but not that. And honestly, I'm like???????? What have you tolerated? Can you please expound? What has she done that's made you uncomfortable but because you feel a bond to her, you just let it go? Why don't you want Ghost to do the vague, unspoken thing that she threatened to do even though you've been able to tolerate most of the things she's been doing? Is it because that's just one step toward the darker end of the morally grey area that you don't want to make? But didn't you hesitate to give Hank the medicine he supposedly needed for his illness or else he was going to die even though you obviously needed him to be alive in order to execute your plan? I'm not sure but I think Bill also threatened kill someone if they didn't do what he said.

On top of all of that, we never really see the bond between Bill and Ghost. They're not friends or whatever kind of deeper relationship the movie is trying to push. They're more like acquaintances helping each other out because they're after the same goal which severely weighs the movie down in terms of getting the audience to develop any kind of attachment to these characters and their relationships with each other. This aloofness impacts the movie pretty poorly in terms of attempting to establish an emotional connection with the audience but it helps with the logic of the movie's plot development in the sense that maybe it's because Bill isn't as committed to his initial goal and to Ghost that he does a pretty half-assed job in trying to achieve that goal for the rest of the movie. I'm not sure if I meant that as a compliment or a criticism. Maybe a little bit of both? But then if you think about it in terms of character development where a character undergoes changes in their beliefs and perspective then if the movie did intend on Bill not having that strong of an attachment to Ghost and their goal from the start as opposed to Bill having had a change of heart mid-movie then… the writing of his character is pretty shitty. Moreover, even if they did intend on writing his character to have a slight change of heart after the stunt Ghost tries to pull, then the writing and execution of his character is still shitty because we have no build-up to Bill being fed up with Ghost's antics and he still goes on to help her anyway up until the end of the movie where he just… gives up? Honestly, Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure has better character development than this; and we haven't even touched Ghost's character development yet.

Okay. So. I don't get what the fuck Ghost's character is supposed to be. I don't mean that in terms of what her character is supposed to be doing as a function in the movie or what her character on paper actually is. I'm talking about who Ghost is supposed to be as a person. What's she feeling? What's her motivation? Her trend of thoughts? At the beginning of the movie, I see an unknown entity kicking ass. Cool. Then, when she's revealed to be not all that and is actually struggling, I see a person whose life force is leaking from her existence and is, therefore, understandably doing the good guys wrong because she's afraid she's going to die. Great! She sounds like such an exciting and intriguing character. Fast forward and we see her staring at Scott like a fucking lunatic after having knocked out and bound Scott and Co. up. I wasn't kidding when I said John-Kamen's portrayal of the character is the low-rent version of Bellatrix Lestrange. Right then, I thought… okay… she's a little kooky but that could work…? Spoiler alert: no, it fucking doesn't. Why? Because any sympathy I've started to develop for this character gets thrown out the window when the following dialogue insinuates that one of the reasons why Ghost and Bill are doing what they are doing is because Hank Pym fucked them up and so, they're spiteful and are more or less seeking revenge. Oy, vey. After Scott and Co. escapes with the lab, Ghost proposes that she goes after [insert correct name here because R.I.P. my memory]'s daughter which further clues the audience in on the lengths that she is willing to go to achieve her goal. Therefore, it further paints her as being more of a ruthlessly vindictive antagonist rather than a sympathetic one. The movie rides this coat of paint for her character all the way to the end when Janet and Hank returns from the Quantum Realm and Janet heals Ghost with her quantum healing powers (don't worry, we'll get to that in a bit). Then, Ghost tears up and becomes meek and fragile and docile.

Look.

I know what tone that they were striving for in regards to Ghost. I do. They're trying to make her into a desperate character who's doing all of these terrible things because she's not in her right mind—remember, she is supposed to be under a lot of pain all the time. However, the script doesn't convey this well at all and John-Kamen's terrible performance doesn’t help. We can't feel her pain, we can't sympathize with her or her partner Bill. In addition, Ghost's motivations for doing the things she did falls apart when you consider the fact that she once made a deal with S.H.I.E.L.D. in order to have herself killed because the pain was too unbearable. Despite that fact, the movie proceeds to tell you that she's going through all of this trouble and attacking all of these people because she knows she's going to fade away in a couple of weeks and die. If she wanted to die, why didn't she just wait it out? Her actions throughout the movie points to the answer: she doesn't want to die, either because she's scared of the notion or because she sees an alternative solution to her situation. So, she’s fighting for her survival—which makes sense. However, because she's barreling through all of these people and is willing to go to extreme lengths ensure her mortality, the line of logic just turns back to pointing toward the conclusion that she's a ruthlessly vindictive cunt. Of course, you can use the loose argument that maybe the movie is creating a character that's more realistic in the way that her decisions and thoughts and personality is complicated and shit. Because, you know,

But, here's the thing.

This is a movie and a movie needs to character narratives and plots and shit like that because

Prime example: Boyhood (2016) dir. Richard Linklater.

IT JUST DOESN’T. OKAY?

Gifs originally posted by: crazyexedits

Lastly, if the decision which the character makes is a random one that's an anomaly given the context of their decision making history, then sure, it can be overlooked. But when most of the decisions which the character makes are based on the same logic and are in the same vein as each other, then it's a pattern and a pattern always reveal something about the character no matter what. Therefore, once again, I posit that the movie just fails spectacularly in trying to make Ghost a more fleshed out villain. However, at the end of the day, it's just sad to watch it unravel on screen because goddamn it, my precious dopamines.

Talking about things unravelling, I can't not mention my fucking suspension of disbelief. Guys, I've bought into almost every single Marvel movie out there, okay? I don't have a problem with turning my brain off in exchange for a good time. But when the logic is so glaringly bad that it impacts my commitment to getting those dopamines zipping through my brain, then we've got a problem.

Fucking quantum healing powers. I'm sorry, I just can't. You don't just mix hard Ant-Man science with Dr. Strange voodoo magic. Sure, nobody thought that a talking tree and a raccoon would end up making people big bucks, but there are some lines that you just don't cross. You can't tout your movie as being science-y and make your characters spout all of these physics lingo then have one of your characters possess healing powers. I don't care if they're quantum healing powers, and I don't care how much you've pushed the narrative that "she's been there so long she was able to soak in all of that quantum energy goodness" throughout the movie. It just shits on every ounce of effort I was putting into trying to keep myself engaged in the movie because my suspension of disbelief up until then had already been mauled by watching over-ten-stories-tall buildings without any foundation shrinking and enlarging and badly written dialogues that could have easily been put into literally any other action/thriller movie and try-hard jokes.

Also, y'all need to stop putting "quantum" in front of everything.

Hey, I fucking took Marvel's bait for Dr. Strange like it was nobody's business so don't go telling me that I'm a no-fun motherfucker who doesn't know how to just chill and enjoy a movie. And don't say that it's just a stupid movie made for kids, just let it go, because I've praised Marvel for their attention to detail and meticulousness when it comes to producing a movie that not only does well in the box office but is also technically good. Of course, the quality of their movies vary from movie to movie but I've always held Marvel in relatively high regards in terms of their technical execution of their material. Therefore, to have experienced Ant-Man and the Wasp and found it subpar to most of Marvel Studios's previous projects, I'm mostly just saddened (and somewhat enraged) by the missed potential for this movie.

Lastly, there are two end-credit scenes. Stay for the middle one. Leave before the last one unless you really like enlarged ants playing drums.

Final verdict: 2.5/5

Sidenote: No fucking wonder the script is fucking lackluster. Five different people worked on it, jesus fucking christ.

[the-desolated-quill]

The Day Of The Doctor - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

50 years, huh? Extraordinary.

Going into The Day Of The Doctor, I was already lowering my expectations. Not just because Steven Moffat was writing it, but also because multi-Doctor anniversary specials are generally never very good. Once you get past the novelty of Doctors meeting each other, you quickly realise that the stories are often weaker than a nun’s piss. While The Day Of The Doctor does fare slightly better than previous multi-Doctor stories, there are still a ton of problems with it.

Let’s start with the Doctors themselves. I was a little bit cross that there were no classic Doctors coming back (and no, the Curator doesn’t count). I wouldn’t have minded except apparently Moffat never even asked any of them. Some fans have given the excuse that you can’t use the original actors because they’re not as young as they were, which caused me to scoff and roll my eyes. Patrick Troughton and Jon Pertwee were both considerably older when they returned to play their respective Doctors in The Five Doctors over a decade after they left the role, but nobody batted an eyelid. It was just really cool to see them again. There’s no reason why you couldn’t have brought the classic Doctors back. Okay Tom Baker and Colin Baker have both put on a considerable amount of weight since the 70s and 80s, and neither Peter Davison nor Sylvester McCoy are as young and spry as they used to be, but once they’ve got the costumes on, nobody’s going to care about that. Ever heard of suspension of disbelief?

So the Doctors we end up getting are Eleven, Ten and Eight And A Half, aka the War Doctor. (The Ninth Doctor was originally intended to appear, but Christopher Eccleston turned it down, hence the creation of an all new Doctor. Why Moffat couldn’t have just used Paul McGann, I don’t know). It’s about what you’d expect. Three Doctors coming together and criticising each other’s attitudes and tastes in clothing, and admittedly it’s fun for about five minutes before you start getting bored and want Moffat to get the fuck on with it. I think I’ve mentioned numerous times now how annoying I find Matt Smith to be, so i don’t think I’d need comment on that further. While I don’t like Ten as much as everyone else does, it is good to see David Tennant again after all this time. It’s like he’s never been away. He’s got that same boundless energy and enthusiasm that you can’t help but find endearing. This story does however play at odds with where Ten is in his story. Remember for Ten this takes place between The Waters Of Mars and The End Of Time Part 1, where Ten is running from his own impeding death. Surely seeing his future self would affect him somewhat, right? Perhaps that was what all that ‘some new man goes sauntering away’ stuff in The End Of Time with Wilf was about.

As for the War Doctor... I must confess I’m slightly torn. I’ve mentioned before how I really don’t like the idea of a War Doctor that Eleven can conveniently blame so that he can stay as the pure saint with the unsullied past because it just simplifies the character to an insulting degree. And it’s funny because if you stop to think about it, outside of the big decision he has to make with the Moment, the War Doctor doesn’t actually have a character. We never really learn anything significant about him or what really differentiates him from his other incarnations. And yet I can’t help but find myself really liking the War Doctor. And I think that’s for two reasons. One is because of the late, great John Hurt. He gives an extremely good performance and he’s the one that keeps you engrossed in the character even when the writing doesn’t. And the second is that... Look, I have quite a few issues with New Who, and one of them is the more manic interpretations of the Doctor. And yes I know the Doctor has always been an eccentric, but it feels as though New Who have been pushing it to its absolute limit and beyond, to the point where we’ve now got Matt Smith’s Doctor who is just the most obnoxious character I’ve ever come across (in fact there’s a scene where the War Doctor pretty much sums up all my problems with Eleven by asking him “why are you so ashamed of being a grownup?”). And I recognise this is more of a personal taste issue. If you like that kind of manic Doctor, more power to you. I honestly don’t mind it in small doses. The thing is I grew up with the classic series (I used to watch them on old VHS tapes when I was a kid) and while I recognise the War Doctor isn’t very well written and that the reasons for his inclusion are incredibly stupid, I can’t help but instinctively be drawn to that kind of witty, reserved Doctor who can be a bit serious at times, but his hearts are always in the right place. That kind of Doctor just resonates with me more somehow and it’s a kind of Doctor that I really wish we could see more of in New Who.

Plot-wise, it’s all a bit so-so. Let’s start with the B story. Out of all the monsters Moffat could have picked to bring back for the 50th anniversary, why in God’s name did he pick the Zygons? I know classic series fans really like the Zygons, but for the life of me I can’t see why. They’ve only ever appeared in one story, Terror Of The Zygons, which, lets be honest, wasn’t really very good. Yes I know David Tennant loves the Zygons and I’m sure he was pleased as punch to get to work with them, but for the 50th anniversary? Are you fucking joking?

For the benefit of @captainivyb and others who are unfamiliar with the classic series, here is what the original Zygons looked like:

And now here are the new and improved Zygons:

It’s funny, isn’t it? State of the art special effects and a slightly bigger budget, and yet somehow the new Zygons look just as shit as they did back in 1975. I’m going to choose to believe that these new Zygons look deliberately shit so that they could pay tribute to the rubber latex monsters of Who’s past because if I have to accept the possibility that the New Who team honestly thought these new designs were good, I may have to sit in the corner and have a little cry.

I do like the idea of the Zygons hiding inside paintings. Wouldn’t it have been cool if maybe the Doctors went inside the paintings and had a bit of a gander? But no. Instead we get the really bizarre twist that the Zygons, a race of shapeshifting aliens, destroyed a bunch of statues and ground them into dust so they could hide underneath large sheets when UNIT arrives. Yeah, it’s a bit hard to be scared of monsters that have the same mindset as a child who think they’re invisible just by covering their eyes.

And why are the Zygons inside the paintings? Because they want to invade the Earth. Why they don’t just invade medieval Earth, I don’t know. Surely that would be easier than invading present day Earth. Less guns and nuclear bombs for one thing. Elizabeth the First (or at least a version of her that has been Pompadoured into the sassy, flirty woman that exists in all of Moffat’s stories) says that the Zygons are used to a certain level of comfort, but that’s bollocks, isn’t it? What could the super advanced Zygons with their biotechnology possibly want from present day Earth? It can’t be the Black Archive. How would they even know it exists before taking Kate Stewart’s memories? Do they want to borrow our Wi-Fi or something?

Cut to present day Earth and there is a genuinely good moment where Kate stands toe to toe with the Zygons and threatens to destroy the whole of London to prevent them from using the Black Archive. Jenna Redgrave gives a great performance here, channelling the Brigadier very effectively. It’s such a shame Moffat doesn’t do more with her character. (You may have noticed I haven’t mentioned Osgood yet... Well spotted). Then the Doctors show up to chastise Kate for her actions, using their own experience in the Time War to explain why before using the memory eraser thingy to make everyone forget whether they’re human or Zygon, forcing both sides to form a peace treaty. Yeah, because evil aliens hellbent on taking over the world are bound to stick to that once they get their memories back. (Also there’s a major continuity blunder here. Earlier we see a Zygon attack Osgood and assume her form, stealing her asthma pump. Osgood manages to escape and steal the asthma pump back. But at the end, Zygon-Osgood gives the asthma pump back. Huh?).

All of this is meant to cack-handidly tie into the Time War storyline and the Moment, which admittedly is slightly better. But first... is that it? Is that the Time War? Remember all the references that were made in the RTD era? The Jaws of the Nightmare Child. The Could Have Been King and his Army of Never Weres. People trapped in time loops, forced to relive their own deaths over and over again for all eternity. What do we end up getting? Some spaceships, a few lasers and explosions, and some screaming civilians. The Last Great Time War. The war to end all wars... and this is the best they could come up with? Sigh. I guess some things are best left to the imagination.

Also I could have done without Rose. Well... except she’s not Rose. She’s the Bad Wolf. Well... except she’s not the Bad Wolf neither. She’s the same Moffat female we’ve seen millions of times before (Has Moffat only ever met one woman is his life? That’s the only explanation I can think of for why all his female characters sound and behave the fucking same). Billie Piper does an okay job with the material she’s been given, but really, you could have picked anyone to play the Moment. Billie Piper is really only there for fanservice. (Moffat reportedly did not want to bring the Rose character back because he felt her story was wrapped up and he didn’t want to add anything to RTD’s arc. I want you to remember this people. It’ll become relevant later on).

The Day Of The Doctor is really about the redemption of the War Doctor. Him standing at the brink, prepared to make a terrible choice and is shown the consequences of his choice, whilst his future selves learn to accept and finally come to terms with the horrible decision they made. This aspect at least is done reasonably well. I liked the scene with the sonic screwdrivers and the ‘same software, different case’ metaphor. And by far the most powerful scene is when Ten and Eleven arrive to help the War Doctor push the button. It was incredibly moving and actually made me really emotional because it shows the Doctor at his core. It’s something I’ve been saying for years. He’s not a soldier or a hero or a warrior. He’s just some guy. To make the decision to destroy his own species in order to save the rest of the universe would be incredibly traumatising even for a trained soldier. For a simple traveller like the Doctor, it’s practically unbearable. So to soften the blow by allowing his future selves to come along and help him press the button so he doesn’t have to suffer alone is extremely touching. Plus the War Doctor is now reassured by the fact his future selves will do everything in their power to make things right and not allow others to make the same terrible choice.

...

How does Moffat fuck it up?

Oh yeah. You knew it was going to happen. Moffat is so insecure and so determined to trick his audience that he’s prepared to butcher perfectly decent stories in order to shove in some bullshit twist. And this is no exception. Rather than allow The Day of The Doctor to end on a sombre, but powerful note, Moffat decides to do the unthinkable and takes a great big shit all over it. Thanks to an intervention from Clara (ugh), the Doctor changes his mind and decides to use a stasis cube to trap Gallifrey inside a pocket universe, causing the Daleks to destroy themselves in their own crossfire, saving the Time Lords and everyone gets a happy little ending. Now look, I’m not necessarily angry that the Time Lords have been brought back from the dead. I’ve suspected the whole last of the Time Lords thing wasn’t going to be permanent since way back in 2005. What I am angry about is the insulting way in which Moffat does it. Remember when Moffat said he didn’t want to add to RTD’s arc? Well he seems more than happy to undo it completely just because it doesn’t fit with his vision of who the Doctor is. A vision that is utterly warped. Moffat has deluded himself into thinking the Doctor is this all powerful saint that can do no wrong and would never dream of doing something like destroy his own race, even though the show itself completely contradicts that. The Doctor has made morally dubious choices before. The Doctor has resorted to violence before. Okay he’ll always try to find a diplomatic and peaceful solution when he can, but when push comes to shove, he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty. The Time War is just the most extreme example of that. Yes it’s a horrible choice, but what’s the alternative? Letting the whole of time and space burn? As Eleven himself said, it wasn’t possible to get it right. And the psychological ripple effects of this choice makes the Doctor a far more interesting character. By erasing all of this, all of that complexity and character development as a result goes with it. Moffat tries to cover himself by saying that none of the past Doctors will remember this because of Moffat logic, but that just makes it worse because now Nine and Ten are suffering from PTSD and psychological trauma for no reason.

What The Day Of The Doctor proves without a shadow of a doubt is that Steven Moffat doesn’t in any way understand the show he claims to be a fan of. And if you need further proof of that, in the final monologue where we see Matt Smith standing in front of a really bad photoshopped ensemble of previous Doctors, the Doctor talks about how he dreams about going home. That has got to be the most unDoctorly thing I’ve ever heard.

War Doctor: “If I grow to be half the man that you are, Clara Oswald, I shall be happy indeed.”

Oh go fuck yourself Moffat!

[sunshinemiranda]

After Hours - Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader

Summary: Based on the prompt: “I have a key to the theatre, and sometimes I go there when I need to think. Apparently so do you.”

Words: 5,296 (ren and i are just...yeah)

Warnings: Swearing. 

A/N: From Ren (@alexanderhamllton) - Guys, it happened!!! Here’s my first collab with Liv, which I’m so so excited about, we wrote the whole thing in one afternoon and I couldn’t be more proud of the result. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do <3

From Liv - I am still dizzy from how much I enjoyed writing this. I finally had the honour of collaborating with Ren (aka real human sunshine) and it was so much more than I could have ever hoped for. Honestly, it is amazing. Happy reading!

askbox | masterlist

There is something very beautiful about a theatre without an audience. It is filled to the brim with potential, all these seats just waiting to be filled, an empty stage that could become an entirely different universe. The lights are dimmed down, and from inside a deserted Richard Rodgers, it is as if the entire world has stopped spinning.

You didn’t recognize the set anymore. Romeo and Juliet had faded to reveal two new love interests: Eliza and Alexander, their names synonymous with the Broadway musical. From the show you were a part of to the hit-show Hamilton that took over your old workplace, you only recognized the empty seats, so familiar to you even though you never had to step on stage; it took many promises of not touching a thing to your friend Jonah, who worked with the security of the place, to let you in.

Crew members are ghosts, who aren’t able to have an excuse to be on stage during the show’s run, but they are beyond useful. They are the backbone of the art the audience sees. You stood in the middle of the stage, looking out at the wide expanse of space, filling the air with your thoughts. In a room like this, your ideas and dreams had room to stretch and grow, lifting their waif-like limbs. Silence fell heavy, and remained unbroken. Slowly, your eyes closed and surrendered to a feeling of infinite peace.

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

You whipped around with a very loud, “Holy fuck,” and found that someone else seemed to spend their time in deserted theatres too.

“Who are you?” His voice was careful and intimidating, a combination rare to your ears, especially when you visited the theatre.

“Who are you?” It didn’t even cross your mind that you weren’t in a place to ask that question.

“I asked first.” He quipped, the shadow of a smile starting to tilt at his mouth.

“I asked second!” You hurried, then closed your eyes with a visible cringe. This was going horribly. “Sorry. You just sort of freaked me out with the whole, Phantom of the Opera style sneak-up.”

“I can respect someone that makes a Phantom reference,” he replied with a smile. “I’m Lin.”

“[Y/N],” you replied, crossing your arms. Why you were so defensive was beyond you, especially because the guy didn’t seem threatening at all. “I was a crew member on Romeo and Juliet, if that helps to explain my presence,” you took the small key from your pocket, shaking it so he’d know you were telling the truth. “I still have a key. Coming here kind of calms me down, sorry for intruding.”

He chuckled, looking past you at the rows of seats. “God, I can relate to that. I love coming here after hours. It’s like the calm after a storm. The water is still.”

An unexpected smile came to your face and you nodded, letting your crossed arms fall. “Yes! Exactly.”

“But seriously. You can’t be here.”

“Oh.” Your brow furrowed. “Right, sorry about that. I’ll show myself out.”

“You didn’t let me finish. You can’t be here. Let’s not let anyone find out.” He grinned, reaching his hand out for you to shake. It was an offer for what seemed like an adventure. “Deal?”

“Deal,” you replied, shaking his hand. “So… Lin. What brings you to the theatre after midnight?”

“I would really like to know your excuse first. I mean, this is my play.”

“I asked first,” you joked, making him chuckle.

“The pressure. The show is everywhere, and I’m proud of it, I really am, but it can be overwhelming. People expect too much, you know?”

“Not really. Romeo and Juliet didn’t do very well,” you smiled, walking towards the front of the stage before sitting there, your legs dangling over the edge. “But I do see your show everywhere, so I can only imagine the pressure.”

“Wasn’t this version the one with Orlando Bloom?” Lin asked, before sitting down next to you.

“Yep, turns out fame doesn’t compensate the lack of theatrical talent.”

“Ooh, harsh!” He pulled a hand to his chest as if he couldn’t quite believe it. “That’s Legolas you’re insulting, right there.”

“I’m not scared of an elf who never runs out of arrows.” You grinned.

He laughed, and it struck you that it was a good one. It came right from his chest, full-breathed, as it sort of took over his body. In the low lights, the shadows only allowed you to see aspects of his face. From what you could decipher, he was far prettier than any Romeo Montague could have been. With the echoing of both your laughs dissipating into acoustics bouncing off the walls, a silence fell that was more comfortable than you thought it would be. It struck you that Lin was a natural with people.

“Being on this stage makes me want to belt some Shakespeare,” you laughed, and he raised a mischievous eyebrow before standing, reaching out to pull you up with him.

“Now that’s something I want to see.” Lin grinned, ignoring your protests and hurried off stage to sit in the audience.

“Hey!” Blushing with embarrassment now, you squinted to search for him in the seats. “There’s a reason why I was in the crew and not cast, you know.”

“I’m waiting, Ms. [Y/N],” his voice called. It made a smile grow on your face.

“Before I start, I wanna say that you asked for this!” You warned him, before clearing your throat. “Should I go for Romeo and Juliet, or is that too cliché?”

“Whatever you like, I’m just the audience!” He shouted.

A pause settled into the theatre, and you closed your eyes, focusing on yourself. Every night, through working backstage, you would always take the time to admire one monologue. It was your favourite.

“Come, night; come, Romeo; come, thou day in night; for thou wilt lie upon the wings of night whiter than new snow on a raven's back.” You stepped forward, unable to see him in the audience, but ultimately alert to his presence. “Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-brow’d night, give me my Romeo, and, when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun.”

There was a long moment of silence, filled with electrifying tension, before he made his presence visible by standing and delivering the most enthusiastic standing ovation you had ever seen in your life.

“Okay, tell me again why you were in the crew and not on stage starring in the thing?” He laughed, running to the edge of the stage before climbing to meet you there. “That was amazing, you knew every line!”

“Thank you, I- I really liked that monologue, it was one of the few things I genuinely enjoyed about this gig, besides the place.” You looked around, remembering the many nights where the theatre was empty, without a set, without any props backstage, and you had total freedom to just wander around discovering all the little quirks it had to offer. “Have you guys found the secret room yet?”

“Secret room? I don’t think anyone’s found that yet,” he answered with a smile. “Do you know where it is?”

“I do, but it’s a secret after all,” you smiled, Lin shooting you a look.

“C’mon, you can’t just tell me there’s a secret room and not show me where it is, that’s just plain torture!” He argued dramatically, making you roll your eyes and laugh.

“Fine! Are you ready to climb some stairs?”

“Not at all.”

His answer made you laugh, and before you knew it, the two of you were taking the stairs backstage before heading down a small corridor, the ceiling so low you had to crouch before you had the space again. It was a small room, filled with old cables and mechanic gear, and on the opposite wall, a window. It didn’t open and you never figured out if it was because it was broken or sealed somehow, but it gave you a view of the stage no other room in that whole theatre would.

“It’s not that big of a deal, but it’s a fun place to watch rehearsals, you can see the wings and the stage at the same time,” you explained.

He stared, wordless, out the window, eyes widening as he took in the sight. You would see the entire Richard Rodgers kingdom from this point. His silence started to make you nervous.

“Legends say this was the old tech room before they got moved up there,” you pointed. “That’s why you can see everything.”

“[Y/N],” he murmured, turning toward you with wide eyes. The way he said your name sent a thrill down your spine. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” your voice was almost a whisper.

You came back one night a week after that. And so, it seems, did Lin.  The two of you explored every nook and cranny of the theatre, and after-hours exploration became the day of the week you looked forward to the most. It became a silent pact that every Wednesday would be the night to meet up and engage in all kinds of shenanigans: you felt like a teenager again, sneaking around with a guy you just met in the middle of the night.

“Okay, Avenue Q or Book of Mormon?”

“Hands down Book of Mormon. Avenue Q is great, though. I just have a soft spot for Andrew Rannells.” You grinned, reaching into the bag of yogurt covered pretzels sitting on the stage between the two of you.

“She likes Andrew Rannells. A girl after my own heart!” He pulled a Southern Belle swoon, fainting back onto the stage as you laughed. 

“And you got to have him in your show too, lucky thing, ugh, I hate you.”

He reached over and snatched the pretzel you were holding inches from your mouth, grinning as he bit into it. “You would never.”

“Try me, Miranda. Wait, Singin’ in the Rain, or Sound of Music?”

In complete unison, the two of you announced, “Singin’ in the Rain.”

“I’m so whipped for Gene Kelly.” You sighed.

“You and me both.”

You lay down beside him, staring at the rafters in the ceiling, realizing that in doing so, you had closed the space by a considerable distance. He was close enough for you to reach out and trace the contours of his face, run your fingertips over his cheekbones and tap your index against his nose. Of course, you didn’t. But the thought was there anyway.

“Turn around, bright eyes…”

The quiet of the theatre was perforated by his voice ringing out softly, and you grinned. Stepping, as quietly as possible, closer and closer, you made your way to the orchestra pit where he was sitting at the piano, accompanying himself.

“Every now and then, I fall apart!” your voice startled him, but he knew that song like the back of his hand.

“And I need you now tonight,” your voices blended together while you both sang between smiles, Lin looking at you in adoration as you raised your eyebrows, surprised with the fact he didn’t even flinch before starting a duet with you. He played the notes without taking his eyes off you, and while a few weeks ago this would have intimidated you, now you wouldn’t trade that for the world.

“There’s nothing I can do, total eclipse of the heart...” you both finished the song together, the last notes he played floating around you before the silence.

“[Y/N].”

“Lin.”

“You didn’t tell me you could sing. That was beautiful.”

“It was beautiful because you were carrying it with your voice and the piano. Don’t get ahead of yourself now.”

“Hey, have I ever lied to you?” He grinned standing and taking your hand to tug you closer. “Here. I’ll show you the piano arrangement so you can carry it on the piano and your voice. Just like me.”

He placed his hands over yours to play the chords and melody with you, but you couldn’t spend a second of that time concentrating. He was so close, and smelled like cologne and the wood on the stage. The warmth of his hands was sending your head into a reeling mess.

“You’re not concentrating, are you?” He grinned.

You shook your head, looking down and hiding a smile when a strand of hair fell from the back of your ear. Lin’s hand slowly moved to put it back in place, and you couldn’t help but turn to face him, his lips now inches away  from yours. Your eyes shifted from his eyes to his lips, for a split second before you came back to your senses, biting your lip. He was so close, it wouldn’t take much to just move an inch and kiss him senseless, in a way you had wanted to for a while now.

“Mr. Miranda, have- oh, I’m so- I’m sorry.” Jonah opened the door abruptly, making you and Lin jump apart like scalded cats. A blush worsened the colour already on your cheeks, and Lin refused to look you in the eye.

“It’s okay, Jonah, what happened?” Lin replied, running his fingers through his hair while calming himself down.

“Just letting you know I’m leaving earlier tonight, I changed shifts with Marco and I thought it’d be better to let you know...” Jonah replied, scratching his head, his cheeks flushed.

“We’ll leave soon, Jonah. Thanks.” The security guard nodded before taking a weird bow before leaving, making the both of you giggle. Lin turned to you, a sheepish smile on his face. “I guess we’re not staying for long tonight.”

“From experience, I can say Marco is not the friendliest person I know,” you commented, now incapable of looking Lin in the eyes without blushing.

“Finally, someone says it! We better get out of here before he finds out we’re intruding.” He laughed, trying his best to smooth over the awkward moment.

Outside the theatre, the two of you said quiet goodbyes accompanied with shy smiles, and by the time you got home, your head was reeling with that same dizziness. God, you had it bad.

Lin was alone on the next Wednesday. She’s probably just late, caught up with some extra work, he thought, but the feeling of dread stuck in his stomach through the two hours he sat at the Richard Rodgers and pretended he had “work to do”.

He couldn’t help but absently wonder if it was his fault that you weren’t there. Maybe the “Almost Kiss Incident” had scared you away. The worst part of that realization was the fact that he might not have a chance with someone he’d fallen head over heels for. It made an endless feeling of inadequacy settle into his stomach, leaving him restless and messy.

Later that night, he asked Jonah if you had left a message, a sign, anything. But you didn’t. He didn’t have your number, or an address, but Lin also felt it wasn’t his place to ask you about you not showing up that night. It was technically a silent agreement, no strings attached, but he didn’t feel that way about it. He never felt that way about it. He only hoped that you didn’t either.

He started coming there on the nights that weren’t the “schedule” for you guys. He would try Mondays, Thursdays, Sundays, any time that you might be there just in case you had mixed up the dates or couldn’t make it on Wednesdays anymore. But he didn’t see you. Jonah noticed how Lin started to come more often and decided to step up, as your friend.

“Mr. Miranda?” his voice echoed in the empty theatre, where Lin was reading a book, pretending he wasn’t using it to waste time while waiting for you.

“Yes, Jonah?” he replied, without taking his eyes from the book.

“She’s not coming tonight.” The statement made him look, a mix of concern and disappointment on his face. “She usually doesn’t come that often. She started coming every week because of you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jonah,” he said, faking a smile.

“Sir, with all due respect… Before you, she would only come here maybe once a month, sometimes not even that. Her family doesn’t live here, in New York.” The security guard’s words made Lin realize how abnormal the whole situation was: you were both strangers until you met that one night, the random encounters turned into scheduled nights and that, in his head, was not the reason why he liked that theatre in the first place. Lin nodded, closing the book before saying goodnight to Jonah, leaving the building by the back door.

The next night Lin showed up after-hours was a Thursday, not a Wednesday. He didn’t have a show that night or any hope of finding you there anymore. This time around he actually needed the silence. When he got to the theatre, Jonah hurried towards him the moment he entered.

“She left a note last night,” he announced, holding a grin.

“She came here?” Lin couldn’t hold his disbelief, that quickly turned into a smile.

“Yes, sir. Asked for you and everything. Told her to leave a note in your dressing room but you didn’t show up today.”

“Ironic. It’s the first time in months I take a break on a day that’s not Saturday, and this happens,” he joked, before patting Jonah in the shoulder, heading inside the now empty theatre. “Thanks man.”

When he got to his dressing room, he immediately noticed the note, written on the back of one of those ads people hand out in vain on the streets, taped to the mirror.

Lin,

I’m sorry I didn’t come the past few weeks. I had an emergency with my parents and had to leave right away, didn’t know how to contact you. I’m back now, as you can see. I hope you haven’t forgotten about me yet. See you next week?

Whipped for Gene Kelly,

[Y/N]

PS: Here’s my phone number, can’t believe you didn’t have that already!

He smiled, grabbing his phone to save your number in his contacts within moments. There was no way he was going to go another two weeks without talking to you. He needed that. You didn’t hate him! Lin laughed to himself before folding the note and putting between one of the notebooks he kept around.

To: [Y/N]

From: Lin

See you next week.

Lin’s sleep schedule was fucked. Honestly, he had started sleeping till 1 on the weekends, falling asleep at 4 (on an early night), and all because of two things: he spent all his time waiting for his best girl at the Richard Rodgers, and without the after midnight talks that calmed him, it was too difficult to fall asleep. Without [Y/N], there seemed to be no organization in his life. When she appeared in the doorway, like an angel come to lift him from the groggy mess that was his life recently, he rubbed at his eyes, disbelieving and wondering if his lack of sleep had started to make him delusional.

“You look like crap, Miranda.”

It was the best thing he’d heard all month. Without a second thought, he hurried off the stage and surged toward you, pulling you into an unexpected hug that was long overdue. You stumbled a bit, at the sudden weight of his grasp but, with a laugh (and a blush), you were wrapping your arms around his waist and revelling in his warmth.

“I missed you, [Y/N].” He murmured into your hair, the strength of his hold telling you that he wasn’t planning to let go any time soon.

“And I missed you.” You replied, a bit of hurt tugging at your heart while you said this. He had no idea how you really felt.

He moved away, letting his hands slide down to take hold of both your hands instead. “Come on. We’ve got catching up to do.”

He led you up to the stage, the regular spot at the edge of the stage just waiting for the two of you. As you sat down, he twisted sideways, and before you could question his strange methods, his head nestled into your lap and he actually sighed, as if he had been waiting for this physical contact, this moment. Your heart fluttered.

“So, any special reason why you look this tired?” You asked, slowly combing his hair with your fingers.

He hummed, eyes closed as he took the moment to find repose. When he spoke, his voice was soft and mumble-y. “Mhm. Was waitin’ for you.”

Thank God he was turned away from you, because a flaming blush spread across your cheeks like wildfire. Did he have any idea how beautiful he looked, half asleep, with his head in your lap? It was altogether unfair, and your heart tugged again, the way it always did when he was around.

“Lin…” You breathed. “You need sleep, you dork. What the hell were you thinking?”

“That you hated me, or something.” He murmured. “I came here so many times, [Y/N]. So many times. And you weren’t here. I know some of the things I do are disappointing, but I couldn’t deal with the fact that I might just lose you. So I had to fight for it. I guess losing sleep is my way of doing that.”

“Stupid, stupid, thing.” You scolded, your heart starting to beat a thousand times faster at his words. “You aren’t disappointing, Lin.”

He smiled, choosing not to reply as you felt his breaths even out. Looking down, you brushed a hand over his cheek, curling over his body to see his face. 

“Lin? Are you-are you asleep?” You held back a chuckle that might jostle him and wake the sleepy figure once he nodded. Instead, you just kept on carding through his hair, looking down and endlessly staring at him, admiring, thinking over and over again about how much you adored this dork.

“You are so bright, Jesus, I’m sure you could power these stage lights for ten years.” The statement came from somewhere you had stashed away all your thoughts about Lin, including your feelings. It wouldn’t hurt to say them while he couldn’t hear, right? “I admire you so much, you have no idea. Don’t let yourself think you are inadequate, or useless, or just not worth it. Because you aren’t. You are the leader of this successful show, you have created so many things that have taken the world by storm. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t met you here.”

A small smile had crept up on his lips as he tried his best to keep the sleeping facade in place. Unbeknownst to you, he had been listening, and all his hopes about a future with you became possible. He quickly pushed the smile from its place to listen to your words again. You didn’t notice.

The next day, Lin looked like a Puerto Rican ball of energy backstage. The whole cast and crew noticed he was on a roll, and Tommy hated to be the one to contact him about the bad news.

“Lin?” Tommy knocked on the doorframe of Lin’s dressing room before entering, revealing a half-dressed Lin being mic’d. “We have a problem.”

“Jasmine’s dress suffered a small… accident. No one knows for sure, she swears she didn’t trip, but the fabric of the Maria skirt was ripped in the back, really badly. Like all the way up to the bodice.” Lin’s eyes widened as he took in Tommy’s words: today was the day off for the wardrobe crew. One of them was available for emergencies, but added to this, there wasn’t enough time.

“D-Don’t worry, I know someone.” Lin waited a few seconds until they finished mic’ing him up and got to his phone, searching for your number in the contact list.

“[Y/N]?” His voice was rushed, but Lin was not the energetic type of nervous, he was methodical, and you recognized his tone right away.

“Everything okay?” You asked immediately, his tone setting off alarm bells in your head.

“Can you come to the theatre, like, right now? We had an incident with Jasmine’s dress and-”

“I’m leaving work right now, I’ll be there in ten, okay?” You quickened your pace, dodging people in the street, making your way to the Richard Rodgers.

“You’re a lifesaver,” he replied, relief taking over his voice.

“Don’t thank me yet,” you joked, hanging up the phone as you broke out into an almost-sprint.

By the time you got the theatre, Lin had already left a pass for you to come in, making it easier for you to rush your way to the dressing rooms. You ignored the looks from the cast that you only heard stories about and knocked on Lin’s dressing room door. When he opened, he was in all his Alexander Hamilton glory.

“Hey, Mr. Hamilton,” you smiled, trying without success to hide that you were the human version of the heart eyes emoji and it was getting embarrassing fast.

“Thank God you’re here!” His greeting was interrupted by the speakers announcing there was two minutes to places, and he rushed with you to the girls’ dressing room. “Jas, this is [Y/N], she’ll fix your dress, just… Show her the way, okay?”

“So you’re Lin’s guardian angel!” She greeted you. You didn’t have time to blush and simper at that but oh, how you did. A red colour spread across your nose bridge and you didn’t notice that Lin didn’t look any better. Stuttering, he hurried out of the room. Jasmine took the red dress from the rack. It looked bad.

“Jesus,” you murmured, staring at the tear that ranged from the hem of the skirt, all the way to the ties on the back.

“I know.” Jasmine sighed, sheepish.

“Okay. We can’t let these stitches be seen, so we’re going to do this inside out. You have red thread, right? Give me some time with the needle. I promise you, I’ll get it done.”

She handed you the sewing kit for emergencies and thanked you as many times as she could before someone called her to places, leaving you alone with your task. You took a deep breath before getting into work. The songs went by as you sewed the dress calmly, being careful to not let anything to visible. She’d need a whole new skirt later, but that would have to do it for now. When you finally finished, ‘History Has It’s Eyes on You’ was almost over. Reaching over to hang the dress in its place, you admired the work you managed to do in such short notice.

Jasmine rushed into the room, still wearing her yellow dress, squealing when she saw the red skirt fixed. “You are amazing!”

“It’s no big deal, just be careful with it. You’ll need to ask wardrobe for a new skirt later, okay?”

“Paul will kill me,” she laughed, her nerves mixed with relief. You helped her get dressed, being extra careful with the fabric this time. Once she was in her red costume, Lin knocked on the door.

“Come in!” Jas called, and he peeked in, closing the door behind him before looking up to see the repairs you’d made. He froze, speechless and not able to believe his eyes.

“She really is a guardian angel,” Jas grinned, breezing past him with a wink that you missed.

An awkward silence filled the room and you made yourself busy with fidgeting at the hem of the sleeves on your shirt.

“So how’s the show go-” You attempted.

“I love you.”

If there was any air in that room, you couldn’t tell. Your jaw dropped (quite unflatteringly) and you were about to answer when someone rushed into the dressing room.

“Lin, Lac has a few things to talk to you during intermission, if you could come real quick...”

“Uh, I-sure, yeah,” he replied, his eyes shifting from the stagehand to you. “I’ll be right back. Or after the end of the show, please-please stay until the end of the show?”

You nodded before Lin got literally pulled from the dressing room, his eyes never straying from yours. That left you alone once again. You took a deep breath, processing the words he just threw at you moments before he exited. It was too good to be true, right? It wasn’t possible. Nothing like this happened in real life. This was the ending of some sap’s favourite rom-com, not your life. Too many thoughts weighed too heavy on your mind, so you surrendered to distraction, deciding to watch the rest of the show from your secret room.

The view was even more extraordinary than you remembered. The lights looked different from up there, the performances looked more sharp and you noticed the patterns on the dance moves as the second act came on. Tears rolled down your face as you watched the last moments of the show, and you missed the final bows as you made your way downstairs once again. It was just when the cast was returning to their dressing rooms, still fully dressed in period costumes, that you found Lin. He met you halfway up the last flight of stairs, the steps levelling the two of you out just enough for him to look right into your eyes.

“Secret room?” He asked, his voice slightly above a whisper.

“Yep,” you replied, popping the ‘p’ and making him chuckle. “Listen, Lin, I just-”

Within seconds, he surged forward, hands cupping your jaw as he pressed his lips to yours, soft, forgiving, and altogether the sweetest moment you had ever witnessed. You reached up to brush your fingers over his cheek as he pulled away, searching your face to see if his decision had been a mistake. After seeing only soft eyes that looked adoringly back, a slow grin spread across his face.

“Thank you,” he whispered, letting his forehead rest against yours. His eyes closed momentarily.

“It was just a ripped costume.”

“No, I mean for everything. For always believing in me, for being the reason I fall asleep happy at night, for making me feel adequate. You are everything I need, [Y/N].”

His declarations resulted in a bright red blush and as screams and applause from his castmates surrounded you, you noticed (for the first time), that the both of you were in the middle of the after-show rush. You giggled, hiding your face on the crook of Lin’s neck as he turned around with a smile that could light up New York city.

He led you down the staircase, hand tucked into yours and still clad a Hamilton costume. The smile he kept giving you, he looks he didn’t have to sneak anymore, all of it had made your heart feel lighter than air. This was possible. It didn’t always happen, but some people were lucky enough to experience that.

“Lin.”

“Mhm?”

“That time on the stage, when you fell asleep in my lap. You were awake, weren’t you?”

He turned to you, eyes bright with mischief as he shrugged shamelessly. “I’ll never tell.”

You rolled your eyes, bumping his hip with yours. “I hate you.”

“I love you.”

You tried to fight it. You really did.

“Dammit, I love you too.”

“Oh thank God,” he grinned. “Otherwise I don’t know what I would have done.” 

[filosofablogger]

Good Monday morning, friends!  Welcome … please overlook the mess … I was lazy this weekend and the house is a bit shaggy around the edges.  I do have a special treat for you though, so grab a cuppa and since it is Monday morning, the lead-in to a brand new week, let’s find something to make us laugh, shall we?

Apparently Allison Barron’s father was not too keen on the idea of her marrying her boyfriend, Levi Bliss.  Poor Bliss had gone to a lot of trouble to set the scene for his bended-knee proposal, having conspired with relatives to set up letters spelling “Marry Me?” on the side of a large hill alongside a highway.  As he and Allison drove down the highway, the lettering came into view, and Levi pulled over to ‘pop the question’.  He was on bended knee in front of his beloved when on top of the hill, out popped her father holding a sign that read: SAY NO

Turns out it was all in good fun.

“We immediately both started laughing. My sister was behind us so we turned to her and was like, ‘Is this real?’ He was like laughing and smiling — he was proud of his sign. It was very my dad, in like a great way — he’s awesome. Always with the dad jokes and he finds them hilarious. We love it.”

Levi’s mum was none too happy about it, though, and was said to be a bit angry.  I suspect, with her son marrying into the Barron family of jokesters, she better learn to lighten up a bit.

Do you guys remember last year in July when I wrote a Jolly Monday post that featured ‘avocado art’?  I was just amazed at the intricacy with which the artist, Jan Campbell, was able to carve the delicate avocados.  And it was just a little sad to know that her artwork had a shelf-life measured in hours, for avocados begin to go bad the minute their insides are exposed to air … just like … bananas!  Well now I have found yet another artiste, one whose medium is … yep, you guessed it … bananas!

Meet Stephan Brusche, an artist in Rotterdam, the Netherlands, who has been drawing on and carving bananas for nearly 7 years now.  I’ll let Stephan tell you a bit about how he got his start in banana art …

“I wanted to test out Instagram filters when I was at the office. There wasn’t nice scenery or anything fun to draw or take a picture of, but I did have a banana from lunch. So I figured, what if I drew a little happy face on it? I discovered it’s actually pretty pleasant to draw on a banana with a ballpoint pen. The texture of the peel and the pen is really smooth. The next day I thought, let’s do another face. And then I thought, let’s see what else I can come up with to draw on the banana. From that point on I started experimenting and I never stopped.”

And here are just a few of my favourites …

Chiquita featured Stephan on its website last year.  Check it out for some cool links!

The Detroit Zoo is trying out a new promotion, but somehow … I just don’t really think it’s going to go over too well.  According to NBC News …

Free buckets of 5 pounds of animal manure, dubbed Detroit Zoo Poo, will be handed out on April 14 as part of the zoo’s GreenFest celebration. The event precedes Earth Day and will showcase how the zoo recycles waste.

Buckets will be available to the first 1,000 visitors to the zoo’s anaerobic digester educational display.

The digester converts 500 tons of animal manure and other organic waste each year into methane-rich gas to help power the zoo’s animal hospital. Nutrient-rich fertilizer is a byproduct. The zoo notes the compost “is great for putting in your garden.”

Um … thanks, guys, but maybe not this year …

Imagine waking up one morning, only to find out that you’re dead. Such was the fate of poor Constantin Reliu who learned in January that he is dead – at least officially, though Mr. Reliu continues to breathe, eat, and all the other things we think of as being consistent with life.

In 1992, unable to find work in his native Romania, Mr. Reliu went to Turkey where he found work as a cook.  His wife opted to remain in Romania, and when he returned for a visit in 1995, he found she had been unfaithful to him.  Still, he hung around for a few years, but in 1999 decided to return to Turkey.  Last December, Turkish authorities discovered that his visa was long expired and deported him back to Romania.  And that is when his troubles really began.

Upon landing at Bucharest airport, he was informed by border officials that he had been officially declared dead and underwent six hours of questioning and tests. They measured the distance between his eyes to see if it corresponded to an old passport photograph; they asked him questions about his home town, such as where the town hall was; they checked his fingerprints.  Finally, he managed to convince the immigration authorities and he was allowed to leave.  But now to obtain new papers … not so fast, Mr. Reliu!

It turns out that his wife had him declared dead in 2016, and it is much easier to have a death certificate issued than to have it overturned!  After months of trying to get the death certificate declared null and void, last week Mr. Reliu exhausted his last avenue and was told in no uncertain terms that he must remain dead. A court in the northeastern city of Vaslui refused to overturn his death certificate because his request was filed “too late”, and the court said the decision is final.

“I am a living ghost. I am officially dead, although I’m alive. I have no income and because I am listed as dead, I can’t do anything. I think I am going to cry.”

His wife is now living in Italy, but no word from her on this mess.

Wait a minute!!!  Isn’t Jolly Monday supposed to be … well … JOLLY?  That was a sad, sad story!  Try again, Filosofa, and this time make us laugh, or at least smile!!!

Since the late 19th century, canines, aka dogs, have figured prominently in police work.  They have served in a protective capacity, but also as drug-sniffing dogs, bomb-sniffing dogs, and let us not forget the most noble, Search & Rescue dogs.  Man’s best friend.  But felines … cats, aka moggies … have been ignored by police and military.

Last week, the Troy, Michigan, police department hired their first ever cat!  They interviewed 5 kittens from the Michigan Humane Society, and finally made their selection, though it will be a few weeks before the cat is able to begin her new position.  The kitty remains, as yet, nameless, and the department plans to hold a contest among the schoolchildren in Troy, with the child who submits the winning entry being rewarded with a pizza party!  Isn’t this a great way to promote police-community relations?

And now down to the nitty gritty … what is the job description?  Well, I believe there will be some undercover work, for the police department spokesperson seemed a bit reluctant to provide too many details.  But what she did say was that the kitty would be involved with community outreach, helping bring attention to the needs of the Michigan Humane Society, and will also be in charge of the department’s Twitter feed.  Hmmmm … the Significant Seven always give me that old excuse about not having opposable thumbs whenever I try to get them to do something useful, like write this blog!

And now, folks, since I seem to be having a problem with my sense of humour this morning, I think it’s time for Jolly Monday to wind down with a few cartoons, then ♫ Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It’s Off To Work You Go … ♫  Please, dear friends, share those lovely smiles with others today … make somebody feel just a little bit more loved.  Have a great week and keep safe!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa!

Maybe someday.

  Jolly You-Know-What Day … Good Monday morning, friends!  Welcome … please overlook the mess … I was lazy this weekend and the house is a bit shaggy around the edges.