#aka hnw

[jessieren]

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my Evans gave to me

Twelve Wednesday Specials..

[too-antigonish]

How to Seduce Endeavour Morse: A Guide for the Perplexed

The ways are many and varied. Your chances of success are—unfortunately—highly dependent on factors outside of your control. You can, however, learn lessons from those who have tread this path before you.

1) The "I-Forgot-to-Tell-You-I’m-a-Killer" Approach

Comments: Used with surprising frequency given ultimately low success rate.

Rosalind Calloway (S1E0 Pilot): First, become a world-famous opera singer. Your artistry will convince him that life is worth living. When the time comes, gently but firmly rebuff his rather innocent advances. Be unmasked as murderess and crush his will to live via the revelation of your utter lack of humanity and subsequent suicide.

Susan Fallon (S1E0 Pilot): Be at Oxford. Have snobby parents and lots of snobby friends. Be his first great love and agree to marry him. Then abandon him very publicly and with maximum cruelty for your first great love. Many years later become murderess (although Lewis will never allow him to find that out). However, still successfully crush him to pieces again by committing suicide.

Isla Fairford (S6E3 Confection): Live in a charming small village with adorable son and amiable veterinarian father. Have an appealing origin story involving cruel abandonment that reminds him of his own life experiences.  Go on intimate date where you seem to be everything he could hope for and then share a sweet but chaste kiss goodnight. Oops, murder someone…again…sort of. Suddenly transform into personification of vengeance.

2) The "It-Never-Hurts-to-Ask" Approach

Comments: Success rate zero, but very high entertainment value.

Pamela Walters (S1E1 Girl): Like it says on the tin: Just ask. She asks, “Will you take me to bed?” Sorry sweet girl. He won’t—but he will read you a very nice bedtime story

Kay Belborough (S3E1 Ride): Play flirty name games and ask him breathlessly if he’s falling in love with you. Share a romantic kiss under fairy lights at a party.  Eventually tell him he can “have you.”  He won’t—but by then he will have saved you from a suicide attempt so I think he’s done enough really…

Annette Richardson (S3E2 Arcadia): Request help with home security. Tell him you can’t possibly undress yourself. He won’t bite—but he will come maddeningly close to nibbling on your neck and you’ll refuse to believe that he won’t come calling, ”…when he’s ready.”

Bettina Pettybon (S4E2 Canticle): Just show up at his flat looking generally bedraggled. Tell him how your mother forced you to spill the beans and get him kicked off the case. Down some hard liquor. And then—tell him you love him. When he’s gobsmacked by your revelation, assume it’s because there’s “someone else” and not because he barely knows you.

3) The "Let’s-Just-Go-to-Bed" Approach

Comments: Has an impresseive 100% success rate but never ends well.

Alice Vexin (S1E3 Rocket): Secretly crush on him for years. Go on one quasi-date where you dissect his personality quirks in excruciating detail. Show up at his door when he’s emotionally vulnerable and then sleep with him. Promptly abandon him with maximum cruelty. Be sure to tell him, “It’s not me. It’s you,” in the form of, “You’re just not ready yet.”

Carol Thursday (S5E2 Cartouche): Be very attractive. Be suddenly, unexpectedly available. Be directly in his path. This means you can skip the date part (a drink will do). Go straight to sleeping with him. Then go straight to the realization that this might be…one of the most awkward situations you’ve ever gotten yourself into. Manage to handle it all with amazing sweetness and grace nonetheless.

Claudine (S5E3 Passenger): Be very attractive. Be suddenly, unexpectedly available. Be directly in his path. Bonus points if the woman he actually wants practically throws you into his arms. Go straight to sleeping with him. Tease him. Toy with him like a capricious child. Play games for your own amusement. Abandon him with maximum cruelty. 

4) One-Off Approaches

Comments: Technically not actual attempts at seduction so...

School Girls (S2E2 Nocturne): Talk about how dreamy he is like we do on Tumblr. Given enough time, write “Love you” in eye liner on your eyelids as per: Indiana Jones movie. Blink very slowly during all interrogations.

Anna-Britt Clark (S4E2 Canticle): Be very attractive. Despise tan lines. Work on said tan next to swimming pool at rock-band-murder-mansion. Show him your (tan line free) naked torso. Find his very “English” discomfort perplexing but charming.

Eve Thorne (S5E1 Muse): You don’t actually *want* to seduce him. He’s a cop *and* a condescending prick. However, the seduction will happen anyway. You won’t sleep together. You won’t even touch. But the hate-flirting will be amazing.

5) The "Let's-Try-a-Normal-Relationship-Just-Once" Approach

Comments: She was too psychologically healthy for you. In the end it was for the best (...except for the murder and prison parts).

Monica Hicks (S2E3 Sway): Find yourself recruited for some light caregiving. Be absolutely charming. After tactless date mix-up and adorable mattress incident at department store, proceed to have actual healthy relationship. Hang out listening to music, discuss your future together, buy him a cute scarf. Then wake up one morning to find out he’s in prison—and about that scarf…

6) The "This-Doesn't-Happen-in-Real-Life" Approach

Comments: It was opera—and by opera rules he actually got off pretty easy.

Violetta Talenti** (S7E1: Oracle): Engineer improbable but spectacular first encounter—twice. Finagle one in Venice and one in Oxford. Overcome all of his valid moral objections and engage in a lengthy, passionate affair. When the moment of truth arrives, reject him with maximum possible cruelty. Die in his arms. Use your last words to ensure that he spends the rest of his life feeling conflicted and confused about the true nature of your feelings towards him.

**Also might fall into "I-Forgot-to-Tell-You-I’m-a-Killer" but we will never know for sure

7) The "We-Aren't-Explicitly-Saying-It-But-You-Know" Approach

Comments: Don't try this at home kids. It will end badly for you. Highly effective, however, when Morse and Thursday need to make up and be friends again.

Joss Bixby (S3E1 Ride): Be the UK Great Gatsby. Invite him to your over-the-top parties. Gracefully take it in stride and allow him to appear extra-clever when he points out that your latest art purchase is a forgery. Manage to be charming and self-deprecating while flirting outrageously with him. Offer him jobs. Give him cars. Have lots of emotionally charged moments (especially on dark docks) and say incredibly poetic things. Die tragically so he can mourn you forever but also use your passing as an excuse to reconnect with his former mentor.

Ludo Talenti (S7E1 Oracle): Be evil. Come up with an evil plan. Get your wife to seduce him. Then (ha, ha) you will also seduce him. You will both succeed beyond your wildest dreams. He will be the most thoroughly seduced man ever. However, once you have rejected him with maximum possible cruelty by pretending you actually care that he was sleeping with your wife, he will discover your secret life of crime and come after you. You will die (justifiably, not tragically), after killing your wife and your death will providing yet another opportunity for our hero to reconnect with his estranged mentor.

8) The "Be-the-One-That-Got-Away" Approach

Comments: Definitely the method of choice for Morse seduction. 100% effective. Hands-down winner!

Joan Thursday (S1E2 Fugue): Be very attractive, articulate, and idealistic. Be the daughter of his mentor/best friend/father figure/brother-in-arms. Have lots of incredibly charged emotional encounters but never say anything directly to him about your complicated feelings. Be together during highly significant moments in your lives, but don’t ever go on a real date (pedestrian!). Touch in a variety of meaningful and sometimes even affectionate ways, but never engage in anything blatent. A passionate kiss would be unthinkable. And never, ever sleep together! Still manage to abandon him with maximum cruelty. Still manage to be the love of his life. Well done you!

[season-77]

It’s bloody freezing where I live today; could we have a Horrendously Hot Half-Naked Wednesday, pretty please?

Bring out whatever you’ve got stashed ahem “for warmth” in the bedside drawer—I’ll start:

[oeuvrinarydurian]

Monty Python had the “Ministry of Silly Walks”.

We have Shaun’s “Ministry of Silly Faces”.

AKA The Wednesday Special

[shaun-evans-fanblog]

The gorgeous landscapes of mornings with Morse.

[thewatcher98]

Since we lack content (hey Shaun where the helL ARE YOU?!?! 😡😡) how about looks that undress us??

inspired by an old post by the great @jessieren

[missjuliemuc]

How do I get out of here? Preferably unnoticed?

[season-77]

Good grief, what an insane, classic eye-roll fidget!

Five times Jakes was wrong, and one time he wasn’t.

[jessieren]

The Twelve Days of Evans

Following @too-antigonish and others leads... I thought I should contribute to the Christmas spirit. I'm a little later than planned so today will have to be a bit of a catch up session for all the days I should already have posted lol

Are you complaining?? didn't think so...

NOTE: if you make it to No1 it is very definitely NSFW…

On the Sixth day of Christmas my Evans gave to me...

Six Morsetache taches

Five Morses Kissing

Four Scary Psychos

Three Sweater Vests

Two Churchy Evans

And one very fine naked ass...

(well it is HNW after all...)

[too-antigonish]

Comment te dire adieu...

A sleepy morning HNW in honor of Françoise Hardy (17 January 1944 – 11 June 2024). Her recording of the song Comment te dire adieu (How to Say Goodbye) is the backdrop for this scene in the UK soundtrack for Endeavour.

Unfortunately for Morse, Claudine had absolutely *no* problems with how to say goodbye.

S5E4: Colours

[season-77]

Apologies, but after today’s posts (and my Thursday meeting), this is the only thing that could have formed in my mind:

Bittersweet Ode to Freckled Arms

Each little freckle, a tiny tease, Saying, “Come closer, if you please.” I stare in awe, can’t look away These arms? A snack served on a tray.

Beneath that T-shirt they like to hide, But oh, when shown, it’s quite the ride. Who needs books filled with tales and lore, When you can read freckles forevermore?

So here’s to freckled charm, pure gold, A subtle beauty to behold. If Shaun’s arms could make a speech, They’d say, “We’re sexy. Just out of reach...”

[too-antigonish]

@season-77 I have to agree with you here. I might even go so far as to say that if I were *forced* to choose, I'd take him in a t-shirt over a tux.

Especially this one...

Morse + That Outfit™

[thewatcher98]

Sometimes it's not about what you can see but about what you can imagine

(don't know which movie/tv shows this is from)

[jessieren]

Baby its cold outside

And Pinterest decided these images were what I needed to see this morning. I've never agreed with anything more...

[too-antigonish]

Some Endeavour BTS Trivia for HNW

But first, a sleepy, just-waking-up Morse...

OK, now here's the trivia part:

Note the little white puff of vapor in the circle there.

According to one of the D.M. Barcroft interviews, the conditions for shooting this were rather brutally cold:

"The factory floor is where Endeavour’s flat and the Thursdays’ dulce domum resided.   The mill itself was a Health & Safety Officer’s nightmare – and bitterly, but BITTERLY cold.   Despite the heat from the lighting rig, Ice cubes were the order of the day.  Sucked on by the actors before a scene, lest their breath steam in the chill air and give the game away." --D.M. Barcroft S3 Interview

Imagine being freezing, only half-dressed, and then having to suck on ice cubes so that the vapor from your warm breath wouldn't show that the air around you was literally freezing! It sounds utterly miserable!

Obviously, Evans did not suck on his ice cube sufficiently prior to shooting this scene.

[season-77]

Dear Santa,

The days are getting shorter, and it’s so bitterly cold. In the mornings, it’s still dark enough to make staying under the covers feel like the only option. So, this year, I’d love something dishy and hot—something I can consume without ever leaving my bed.

No other requests this year, just sending you my warmest regards.

P.S. I’ll hang up my Christmas stocking, but if the gift doesn’t fit, feel free to slip it straight into my bed.