#aka gag fest

[goldthorn-archive]

(Way Down Inside) Honey You Need It

gifs by @bin1es

Baby, My Tongue Goes Numb (rated E)

He’s kneeling in the centre of the pub, knees spread a little, cock aching in the confines of his jeans. His hands are tied behind his back, not tightly, but restraining him enough that he can’t really move. All he can do is kneel there, mouth open, in full view of every member of the club who’s here tonight.

on ao3

[justabookworm39]

I was stalling to make sure Nintendo didn’t throw me any curveballs with either the FEH Halloween alts or the final fighter, but now I’m FINALLY using one of the FNAF:tM screenshots I took as my Halloween icon, b/c that’s how the hyperfixations have been swinging lately. (I may have gone overboard editing it in Canva tho oops)

[nana-71926]

008 Mission Report

Welcome to 007 Fest 2021 everyone! Team 00 starting off with a BANG!!

Art created for the fabulous 002 aka @castillon02​ ‘s photo prompt-- I had a lot of fun with this, thanks, Cas! XD

Q bought the mug on a whim as a gag gift for his boyfriend. Bond indulges him by playing up to it every chance he gets in the mornings.

[gameofdrarry]

Wizards Hearts Smut Recs: Magic Sex Toys

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here. Players could opt in to an additional suit of 13 cards, all themed around various popular smut tropes.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 Beautifully Unbound by breath_of_mine (tsundanire) Rated:  Explicit Words:  54933 Tags: Post-Hogwarts, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Blaise Zabini/Narcissa Malfoy, BDSM, Praise Kink, Dom/sub, Subspace, Safewords, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Blindfolds, Impact Play, Spanking, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Mental Health Issues, Therapy, Consensual Kink, Light Bondage, Angst, Holidays, Young Teddy Lupin, Mystery, Auror Harry Potter, Accidental Bonding, Bonding, H/D Erised 2018, Community: hd_erised, POV Alternating, Telepathic Bond, Gay Male Character, Bisexual Male Character, Dom Draco Malfoy, Sub Harry Potter, Bearded Harry Potter, Dirty Talk, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Gloves, Massage, Sex Toys, Mistletoe, Family Dinners, Misunderstandings, Past Relationship(s) Summary:  Auror Potter is sent on a mission to clear out deadly artifacts from a Death Eater Safehouse with Draco Malfoy. What could possibly go wrong? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Three Wishes by PalenDrome (nerdherderette) Rated:  Explicit Words:  10161 Tags: Fairy Tale Elements, Fairy Godparents, Wish Fulfillment, Explicit Sexual Content, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Hand Jobs, Butt Plugs, Sex Toys, Implied Switching, Light Angst, Humor, Fluff and Crack, Confessions, Auror Harry Potter, Ministry of Magic Employee Draco Malfoy, Be Careful What You Wish For, Thirsty Draco Malfoy, POV Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, H/D Sex Fair 2020 Summary:  Draco meets his fairy godmother and is granted three wishes. Unfortunately, they all keep coming back to the same thing. [excerpt]: Pop! "Oh, wow," Vince says, and is that sarcasm Draco hears? "I never saw that coming." "What?" Draco opens his eyes. He's prepared for the theatrics of the puffs of smoke—Vince, despite the sudden career change, was never blessed with an overactive imagination—but what he was not prepared for was the sight of Harry Potter, bare-chested and dressed in arseless chaps, his hands bound and mouth wrapped around a ball gag while lying face down on Draco's sofa. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Four Ds of Apparition (or: Destination, Determination, Deliberation, and Dicks)  by eidheann, firethesound Rated:  Explicit Words:  36638 Tags: Apparition, Dick JokesAurors, St Mungo's Hospital, Acronyms, Sex Toys, Crude political statements, Inappropriate use of office equipment, Inappropriate use of shoe boxes, Inappropriate use of hats, Misuse of national anthems, Obscene floral arrangements, Seamus's sticking charms, Dicks, cocks, Penises, Willies, Pricks, Phalluses, Comedically large numbers of unattached dicks Summary:  After transferring to the Apparition Department, Harry's life becomes one big dick joke. And all his friends are arseholes. So is Malfoy, but what else is new? AKA Harry Potter and the eighteen twenty dicks. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 in advance  by M0stlyVoid Rated:  Explicit Words:  3563 Tags: Wax Play, Kink Exploration, Safe Sane and Consensual, Gags, Bondage, Blow Jobs, Kink Negotiation, Dom/sub, Dom Harry Potter, Sub Draco Malfoy, Shibari Summary:  Draco's been scared of fire since the Battle of Hogwarts. Harry likes wax play. This is how they work together to face Draco's fear and get what they both want. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Have yourself a kinky little Christmas by  keyflight790, tsundanire Rated:  Explicit Words:  21433 Tags: Drarropoly: A Drarry Game/Fest, Secret Admirer, Secret Santa, 12 Days of Christmas, Consensual Kink, Other Additional Tags to Be AddedSex Toys, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Harry Potter, Bottom Harry Potter, Light Dom/sub, Dom/sub Undertones, Praise Kink, semi-public wanking, Aural Kink, Dirty Talk, Awkward Harry Potter, Auror Partners, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Draco Malfoy, Masturbation, Masturbation in Bathroom, Work In Progress, Angst, Mental Health Issues, Switching, Cock sleeve, instructions, Dealing with mental health, Tattoos, writing on dicks, praise!kink, non con, brief non con display of nudity, Mutual Masturbation, Public Masturbation, Loud Sex, Unaware Pansy Parkinson, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Denial, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex, Public Sex, Public Nudity, Public Rimming, Sex on Ministry Time, Inappropriate Use of Ministry Time, slacking on the job, These two are so inappropriate, The Writers are having too much fun, This whole thing is NSFW, Consent, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, conversations about consent, Clearly expressed Consent, Potions, Lust Potions, Overstimulation, Orgasm Delay, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Public Hand Jobs, Public Blow Jobs, Face-Fucking, Consensual Sex, Anal Sex, Anal Play, Anal Plug, Writing with your BFF, This is what happens, Harry Deserves a Magical Ending, Draco Deserves Happiness, Dom/sub, This Fic made my life, and cleared my skin, writing this fic made me the happiest, and did my laundry, Art, Digital Art, mzuul Summary:  As the holidays loom, Harry feels the weight of everything and everyone he'd lost. Working as an Auror, while exciting hadn't filled him with the same kind of satisfaction he'd assumed it would. It takes one extremely kinky secret admirer to pull out a side of him he'd been pushing away since his youth, and actually make him want to come into work everyday. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Asking For A Friend? by RoonilWazlibMalfoy Rated:  Explicit Words:  13734 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Daily Prophet, Drag Queen Draco Malfoy, Gay Harry Potter, Size Queen Harry Potter, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Epistolary, Fluff and Smut, Sex Shop, Sex Toys, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Masturbation, Nipple Play, Nipple Clamps, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Felching, Discussions of Fisting, Gay Bar, Sex Advice Columnist Draco Malfoy, H/D Sex Fair 2020 Summary:  Asking for a friend? Don't be shy! I'm Genna Russ with advice! Draco Malfoy, drag queen and agony aunt for the Daily Prophet, is very happy with his life. He loves his job. He loves his drag queen persona. And he loves the fact that the wider Wizarding world doesn't know who is offering them sassy advice with their morning news. When he starts receiving letters from one Harry Potter – letters that are too racy to publish – he does the only thing he can do: he replies. His carefully constructed secret life is at risk of being blown wide open, but he just can't help himself. Draco never did have any self-control where the Prat Who Lived was concerned. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Ligabus Filium by Tessa Crowley (tessacrowley) Rated:  Explicit Words:  41534 Tags: Post-Deathly Hallows, HP: EWE, BDSM, Top Harry Potter, Dom Harry Potter, Bottom Draco, Sub Draco Malfoy, Virgin Draco Malfoy, Whipping, Riding Crops, Gags, Dildos, Creative use of Time Turners, Creative use of Howlers, Creative use of Amortentia, Listen it's the running theme of the story ok, it's filthy bdsm smut what do you want Summary:  It should be careful, deliberate, but it isn't. Like every other part of their relationship, it happens gradually and then all at once, before they even realize it. And when the little blue threads bind them together, there's no going back. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Obsessions Release by katie_delaney Rated:  Explicit Words:  27783 Tags: Deepthroating, Dom Draco Malfoy, Top Draco Malfoy, Dancing, Breathplay, BDSM, First Time Summary:  Harry is convinced Draco has given him a love potion, on confronting him he is forced to face an inconvenient truth about himself. Will be very smutty/moderate bdsm, tame in first chapter. Warnings for breathplay. Set during the Half Blood Prince through to the end of the Deathly Hallows. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 in the flesh by M0stlyVoid Rated:  Explicit Words:  1462 Tags: Masturbation, Accidental Voyeurism, Roommates, Sex Toys, Loud Sex, Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, idiots to lovers, Denial of Feelings Summary:  Draco really should have knocked. He's really glad he didn't. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 You Make it Hurt So Good by bangyababy Rated:  Explicit Words:  1938 Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Daddy Kink, Spanking, Anal Fingering, Sex Toys, Magical Sex Toys, Punishment, Dirty Talk, Light Dom/sub, Dom Draco Malfoy, Bottom Harry Potter, Safe Sane and Consensual, a bit of fluff at the end Summary:  “Harry,” he said, a clear warning. “What are you going to do about it, Daddy?” Draco is in a bad mood. Harry knows just how to draw him out. ❤️ Read on AO3

[gwen-cheers-me-up]

That We May Live Free

Chapters: 1/?

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Elyan/Merlin (Merlin), Elyan & Gwen & Merlin (Merlin)

Characters: Elyan (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon (Merlin), Gwaine (Merlin), Percival (Merlin), Kara (Merlin), Gilli (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Agravaine (Merlin), Kilgharrah (Merlin)

Additional Tags: Canon Era, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s04e11 The Hunter's Heart, Fix-It, Angst, Destiny, Friendship, Trans Elyan, Trans Kara, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Female Character, POV Alternating, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), aka the one where Merlin leaves after Arthur says he can join Gwen in exile, and Elyan comes with him, No Character Bashing, Work In Progress, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary:

After Gwen is banished from Camelot, both Merlin and Elyan struggle to remember what’s keeping them there. The longer they strain under split loyalties--Merlin between his people and his destiny, Elyan between his duty and his debts, and both between Guinevere and their king--the more tempting it becomes to join her in exile. A warning from Kilgharrah, a gag order from Arthur, and the discovery of an enchantment on Gwen’s bracelet lead to their departure from Camelot, a re-interpretation of Merlin’s destiny, and what could be the beginning of a brighter future for all of Albion. After all, there’s more than one way to make someone queen.

Written for the @elyan-fest!

[la-alert]

A splash of tea…

If you didn’t catch the mess on twitter over Easter weekend well…we don’t know where you were but let us drop some tea for you! Because ya’ll asked for this anyways so don’t get upset with us..m’kay!

Monique aka @moneyque and Scarlett aka @scarsato was all guns a blazing on twitter the other morning. We’re not even sure how the whole argument started but one could assume it was based off assumptions... We knew off rip though that it wasn’t going no further than tweets so we didn’t bother with it much.

Monique you really was arguing with the wrong girl, who you should have been shading and fussing with is Aneia aka @shesoneia and her mans Samir aka @scmir . What in the two way love affair do ya’ll got going on? We saw big sisters disapproval of the post that Aneia posted of Samir and we thought she was a hater, turns out sister might be on to something, but girlll don’t do that okay lol. But then again, maybe…Amari aka @amarilens would like to weigh in on this. Or maybe Kimberly aka @missbrinx would like to interject since the two of you were on a shade fest. Did you guys make up yet? Or are you still planning on pretending you’re not throwing subs at each other?

In other news not that we should care but Tre aka @brockintres was seen creeping over at Jodi aka @jodijodyjode house in the wee hours. That’s cute, we wonder who all gone be at the play off games. The baby mama or Miss Jodi? Chiii…can we get tickets too?

Whatever happened with Blessing @baddiebless and zaddy Kendrick aka @bigkoneal . We wanted to see this happen so, but blessing come get this damn rose out the drawer sis. Looks like cutie patootie Mekhala aka @mekhala-v has rightfully so claimed her mans again. Hopefully he don’t drop her again when the wind blows someone else into his life like last time. Cause that was dead ass wrong and we didn’t like it at all. But as long as they’re happy that’s all that truly matters.

Anyways lets get to the boring stuff we guess…couples, kids all the things that make us sleepy and ya’ll happy. THEY ALL THE SAME, nothing to see here. No spice, no neighbors recording ya’ll having sex…what is life? We don’t know but we need for you guys to do better. We still waiting on all the sex tapes, look what it did for Kim K and the fam…sell it to us we got ya’ll on a 4 for 4 from wendys.

A lot of you girls been on a real housewives of L.A. type vibe…making us gag and this is where we tap out. There wasn’t much because as we told you…it’s been dry but we had to give a little something to ya’ll. If you want more tea then you know how this goes…Until next time stop throwing shady tweets and flex that @ button! BYEEE!

[droopycoquette]

Anti-Party || Jimin x Black!reader

Summary: You go to a party and meet a boy that helps you endure it.

Warnings: teenage angst, alcohol, douche dude

Word count: 2696 words

|*|

As you entered the party, the stench of sweat and alcohol hit your nose making you crinkle it.

You had just moved to Korea about a month ago and although you loved it your social skills were very low and you still didn’t interact with anyone. You now regretted the decision to tell your mom about the party that was going on at this kid's house. You had told it to her as a joke, laughing at how it was probably going to be a drunk fest and how immature a person had to be to attend it. Now, look at you. Your mom had forced you to go, she was that desperate for you to make friends.

You stuck out like a sore thumb. While half the boys here had their shirts off and a ¾ of the girls were all wearing something so revealing they might as well have been naked and everyone else made up for the revealing clothing by doing things that would be better left unsaid, you were in a baggy black hoodie, leggings that were also black, a pair of black sneakers, and to complete the look; a black doctors mask. You looked like an emo kid that belonged in the early 2000s. However, it covered up your skin. If anyone noticed that you had more melanin than all the people here combined, you would be flocked with people and you’d have to socialize.

As you walked around you made your way to the kitchen. You crossed your arms and placed them on the island’s marbled countertop, watching the crowd dance on the dance floor AKA the living room with the furniture moved. You watched as the girls attempted to grind on the boys with what little hips they had. The boys weren’t any better; they had no rhythm as they tried to grind back.

“I hate this,” you muttered to yourself.

You looked over to your left and saw a box of stuff that wasn’t alcohol tucked in a corner. As you thought about grabbing whatever was in the box you felt a body bump into you, it continued to bump into you and you decided to see who it was. You were surprised to see two people making out, the girl on the counter with a boy standing. How cliché. Their hands roamed all over each other and soon they began to remove each other’s clothes.

“Honestly have you guys ever heard of modesty,” A voice said behind you.

The couple stopped and the girl began blushing when she saw who said it, the boy turned and was about to protest when the girl dragged him away.

You turned to see you had saved you from the horrible sight.

“T-thank you,” you stuttered still slightly grossed out.

“You’re very welcome,” he said before walking away.

Okay, so maybe this party isn’t so bad if there are people like him around. You felt a hand on your waist and felt your back coming in touch with someone’s chest.

“Hello gorgeous,” a voice vibrated.

You struggled to free yourself from his grip.

“Why are you struggling?”

Is he an idiot

His breath made you gag, he emitted fumes of alcohol. His chapped lips came intact with your neck. Just as they had they came off with a grunt.

“Get off of her,” the voice from earlier commanded.

The drunk man stumbled backward and fell.

The other grabbed your arm and led you away from the kitchen.

“I saved you again, what would you do without me?”

You rolled your eyes at his comment.

“T-thanks again,” you muttered.

He smiled, making his eyes disappear.

Cute

“You’re not a partier. Are you,” he commented.

“I don’t even want to be here,” you sighed. “My mom made me come.”

He looked shocked.

“Really! Most parents want to keep their children away from all of this,” he swirled his wrist around to make a point.

“Yeah. She thinks it will help me make friends,” you added.

He nodded in understanding then his eyes light up.

“Hey since you don’t like this party…”

“I’m not coming home with you,” you stated.

He put his hands up in defense.

“I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to say since you don’t like this party…would you like to help me with something.”

“Well, what is it.”

“Follow me,” he said before dashing off.

Don’t go bitch, bad idea

However, you don’t have anything better to do and if you don’t you’ll be stuck here at this boring place

You scoffed and tried to catch up to him. You ran up the stairs and paused at the top.

Everyone was either sucking each other’s faces off or pulling someone else in a room with them only to be turned out by a pair already in there.

Barf

You couldn’t tear your eyes away and the soft carpet and beautiful wooden outlines of the hallway didn’t help. On top of everything else the lights were dimmed to a point where you could barely even see; it was as if the Gods had made this place especially for making out. It was disgusting.

“Hey! Come on,” he paused to laugh at my state. “I didn’t bring you up here just to stare at people with a lower IQ. Hurry up!”

You snapped out of your daze and jogged to catch up to him. Once you caught up, you realized we were in front of a door.

Door=room. Boy=testosterone. Party=easy place to get a hookup. Oh, it was all coming together.

“I’m not…uh”

He looked at me with his dashing good looks and his princely features.

“Um…if you’re taking me in there just to hook up with me I’m going back downstairs,” you stated a little less than confident.

“Don’t worry I’m not. This will just lead us to the balcony and the balcony leads us to the roof.”

He opened the door and you heard to scream, he made his way into the darkroom leaving you stranded in the hallway.

“Ok deep breath. You can do this,” you whispered to yourself.

You walked in.

“WHAT THE HELL. Again?”

“Sorry,” you said.

“Oh, she’s a hot babe.”

“Seriously, you dick!?”

“Hey pretty lady, wanna join us?”

Double barf

You hurried out the door and closed it. Now that you were on the balcony, you looked around and noticed that there was no one.

“Hello?”

“Hey, up here.”

You turned around and looked up to see the face of…the guy.

“Hey what’s your…”

He stuck his hand down and motioned for you to grab it. You did and he hoisted you up.

“Okay, so I brought you up here because I need help to do this and you look like the right person. No one will question you because 1) you look good 2) you’re foreign and unique. No one will question you. Like no one…”

“Okay okay. I get it. What are we doing,” you asked?

“Oh. Crashing the party,” he stated.

“How?”

“Well, because this guy’s parents are loaded their system is basically all operated by Alexa. So, my friend, Hoseok, was able to hack their account so we can activate the sprinkler system,” he added proudly.

“Okay, soooo, you seem to have everything figured out. Why do you need me?”

“Ahh. He hit a bit of a snag with the lights and after that, the system wouldn’t let him back in. So, we’ll have to do it manually. And that’s when,” he paused to point at me. “You come in.”

“You’ll find the thing where all the circuits are…

"You mean the…”

“Whatever,” he cut you off. “You’ll do that and cut the power to the lights. You’ll use your flashlight to get back up here and then I’ll turn on the sprinklers. Finally, we’ll get out of here.”

“Seems simple,” you commented. “How much trouble would we be in if we got caught?”

“Don’t think about that. So, do we have a deal?”

You nodded, “But won’t people just use the flashlights on their phones?”

“Oh come on, half of the hyenas are drunk by now and the other half is stupid. Stop worrying geez…” he paused to take his phone out of his pocket. “Okay, the circuit thingy is by that one wall I took you after that guy hit on you, remember?”

You thought back and nodded.

“Okay, when you go back you have six minutes to get back here. If you’re not I’m starting the sprinklers and you’ll be in there. Got it,” he instructed, beginning to set something up.

“Yeah.”

“Okay set your timer to five minutes and thirty seconds.”

“But, you said s…”

“Yeah I know,” he said. “But if you set it earlier then you’ll be more likely to get back on time.”

“Okay.”

“Go,” he commanded.

“Okay, going,” you sassed.

You climbed back down and walked into the room that the couple was in, pleased you find that the bed wasn’t occupied.

Unless you count the bodily fluids they left behind

You shook the thought out of your head, heading toward the white door. Once you opened it you were back in the Make-out Hall. You tried to not make eye contact with the people and kept your head down and looking at the red carpet on the floor. You made your way down the stairs and found that almost everyone was cramped into the sorry excuse for a dance floor. You quickly found the gray “circuit thingy” and opened it. You scanned the labels on the plastic black switches and found the two that said lights and switched them off. Once everything was pitch-black people began to scream. You turned off the outlets for good measure just in case there were lamps plugged into the wall. You quickly closed the circuit thing, pulled your hood over your head, and once you were a good few steps away from the circuits you turned on the flashlight on your phone.

The boy could hear the screams of the confused and teens and smiled with pride and joy. He didn’t know why he asked you to help him and his friends, he knew that he could’ve done what he asked you to do by himself but something drew him to you. Maybe it was how quiet you were or how out of place you looked but he wanted to protect you and knew that you did not need to be punished like all the other people in that house.

You stumbled over the people frantically searching for the stairs, not knowing how much time you had left. Once you found them you felt your up the stairs making sure to not stub your toe on a missed step. You finally found the hallway and continued to bump into people that were frantically putting their clothes on or were still making out. Once you made it to the room at the end of the hallway you opened it and slammed it closed. You turned, facing the bedroom and allowing your back to collide with the white wooden door. You breathed a sigh of relief and slowly walked to the balcony finally realizing you were free from the sex-crazed maniacs outside of the bedroom.

As you walked outside you noticed that it had gotten a lot darker and a cool breeze hit you. Then you remembered that you are being timed.

“Hey!”

The boy on the roof looked down and smiled.

“I knew you could do it,” his eyes disappearing as he offered you his arm.

You were pulled up onto the roof and looked at the device he was holding.

“Okay Hoseok, we’re ready,” the mysterious boy smirked.

“Copy that,” the voice said.

All of a sudden the screams became deafening, much worse than when you had cut the power. A feeling entered your stomach making it feel like a pit.

What if they got hurt because I didn’t try to stop this?

What if the cops come and we’re caught?

What if…

“Hey.”

You looked up and the boy and got a good look at his face. His skin was pale not to pale but it nicely contrasted with yours and although when he genuinely smiled or laughed his eyes seemed small they were actually big enough to fit a galaxy in them.

“Now we climb down.”

That snapped you out of your daydream.

“What,” you questioned.

“Now we climb down,” he repeated happily.

He got up from where he was kneeling and walked to the opposite side of the roof. There there was a ladder.

“I am not climbing down from all the way up here. No way,” you stated, staying where you were.

“Well then get caught,” he shrugged, as he prepared for his descend.

“B-but I helped you,” you said looking down.

As you did so he felt a pang of guilt in his heart, he remembered that it was now his job to protect you.

The boy walked over to you and looked you in the eye.

“Okay, uh, what’s your name?”

“Uh, Y/n,” you answered unable to meet the boy’s glance.

“Okay um, here look, I’ll go first once I reach the bottom, you’ll climb down. If anything happens, which it won’t, I’ll catch you.”

“You probably can’t pick me up,” you said, still looking at the ground beneath you.

The boy walked forward and began to bend down.

“No!”

You knew he could pick you up, you were just looking for excuses not to go down the ladder.

“We don’t have enough time to worry, okay? You’ll just have to go for it.”

“O-Okay.”

He began to descend down the metal ladder. You stood there and watched, he made it seem so easy. However, you were very high up and you were deathly afraid of heights. You could feel your heart pounding against your chest and your breath beginning to pick up speed. All you could think about was falling how painful it would be.

“Hey!”

You looked at the boy who had reached the ground.

“Come on, you can do it…trust me.”

You took a deep breath and nodded. He began the climb down the ladder and you watched, he made it seem so easy. It couldn’t be that hard, right? As soon as his feet touched the ground he looked up and you and gave you a thumbs up, a signal to begin the descend. You turned around slowly and placed your foot on the first peg of the ladder. Your throat began to constrict and your heart began to pound. The “what if’s” were beginning to flow into your mind and you didn’t move for a solid five seconds before the boy yelled at you to hurry up.

“I’m trying,” you yelled back.

You placed your other foot on the second peg and continued with a slow pace, never looking down, you stared at the outside wall of the house and never took your eyes off of it until you felt a pair of arms wrap around you.

“See? That wasn’t so hard.”

You were on the ground. You hadn’t noticed how fast you were going.

“Come on, a friend has a car waiting for us a block down.”

He grabbed your hand and began to walk in the opposite direction of the house.

“Hey um, do you think that those people will be okay,” you asked concerned, looking back at the house.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine, besides it’s not like half of them will remember what even happened,” he stated confidently.

You nodded and continued walking. It was a comfortable silence and it didn’t go unnoticed that the boy’s hand was still in yours, you didn’t mind in fact you actually found it comforting.

Before you knew it you reached a black Audi and found yourself in the back seat. The boy was sitting next to you with an arm around your shoulder, leisurely scrolling through something. You glanced over at his phone before realizing something: you never got his name.

“Hey, what's your name?”

He glanced up at you before smiling, “My names Jimin jagi.”

|*|

A/N: Please leave me feedback <3

[recentanimenews]

Takt Op. Destiny – 01 (First Impressions) – Settling the Score

It’s 2047, and music is banned. If it’s ever played, fearsome alien monsters called D2 arrive and fuck shit up. So when young man sits at a lovely upright piano and bangs out some Beethoven, a D2 comes running…right in the middle of an unassuming town full of unassuming people. The D2 looks like it’s about to obliterate the pianist for sure…but he’s saved by a ridiculously strong young woman.

She is Colette, AKA Destiny, a Musicart, and he is Takt, her Conductor. Transforming into a Musical Magical Girl, Destiny easily defeats the mid-level D2. The brief but wonderfully precussive battle set to a more symphonic arrangement of Symphony No. 5 IV. Allegro is a feast for eye and ear. This is what happens when Madhouse and Mappa join forces.

Takt and Destiny were just passing by the town while on a long and interminable road trip to New York City, where their self-appointed leader Anna hopes they can have Destiny “tuned” to be more efficient in her fighting, as she always ends up exhausting Takt. Destiny loves eating, but also has to due to her extremely fast metabolism. Takt should train, but all he cares about is music.

Destiny is feeling particularly brash, and Takt is sufficiently beat and confident in her skills, that she goes off on her own while he and Anna wait in a remote highway diner (one wall of which Destiny destroys as she exits). She ultimately fails to eliminate the D2 in the area due to their boss being a particularly tough customer, as she regales to them with cute Panty & Stocking-style visuals.

Her mistake was going off without Takt, or rather Takt not accompanying her (neither of them listen to Anna’s directives, a fun running gag). But then Destiny rushes back to town with her super speed, picks up the piano with her super strength, and rushes it back to the abandoned factory where the boss lurks. There, her Conductor starts to play Moonlight Sonata, and it’s off to the races with a sakuga-fest of a boss battle that ends in a victory.

As a weapon, Destiny comes off like a piano: capable of great bluntness and great precision; capable of being extremely quiet or loud. More than anything, she’s only as good as the person making use of her. Takt is a brilliant musician, but has a lot to learn about Conducting. If they’re ever going to get to New York—much less save the world from the D2—they’re both going to have to step up their games.

Takt Op. Destiny is a crisp, bright disco ball of luscious anime goodness. Will every episode look this good? Who knows, but if you want to hook an audience right from the get-go, this is how you do it! Play it again, Takt.

By: sesameacrylic

[choicesenthusiast]

The Royal Heir 3, Ch. 4 AKA Every Rose Has Its Thorn

What happened this week:

Kiara finally gives us her reasoning for siding with Barthelemy (which is totally OOC and bullshit, by the way), basically stating that Bart’s better at risk management and is therefore more fit to parent a child? Really? The same Barthelemy who ditched his own two sons and pretended to be dead for years and drove his house into financial ruin? Sure. Keep telling yourself that.

As a test to prove your leadership (I thought we were questioning MC’s parenting skills here, are we not?), Kiara asks you to face your biggest challenge yet: judging a flower festival. Y’know, one would think that MC’s biggest challenge was being an trying to win Liam’s hand as an outsider during the first social season, or being framed for a scandal, or the attempted assassination, or stopping a coup on her wedding day, or restoring Lythikos’ honour, or helping uncover the long-unsolved mystery of Cordonia’s traitor, or driving the monarchs of a neighboring kingdom out of her country before a war could start, or getting her daughter out of an ill-fated betrothal. But no. Her hardest challenge yet is judging a flower fest. 

Buy a rocking unicorn for your child’s playroom to distract from the fact that you may not be able to see her play there for much longer. Because Barthelemy's trying to Rumplestilksin her. In case you forgot. 

Have a picnic with your LI and child during this super important test of leadership and risk management to distract from the fact that you might not be able to have moments like these for much longer. Because Barthelemy’s trying to Rumplestilskin her. In case you forgot. Again.

Kiara tries to check in for a progress update, but not before Khaan King Eirik crashes the party (because let’s be honest, this is just another party), raving about his own car expo party. If we’re going to have to manage two parties at once, I will eat a poisonous plant and walk into oncoming traffic.

Thoughts:

Why was Kiara trying so hard to warn us before the vote if she was just going to do a 180 and have this as her justification for voting with Barthelemy? It sure as hell seemed like she tried to stop him before the vote but was unable to. Why side with him now? It makes zero sense.

I saw this post describing what a terrifying situation it must be to have your own child potentially be taken away from you, but be laughing and smiling and judging flower festivals all happy-go-lucky like that. I never looked past the ridiculousness of the plot but seeing in this way is truly scary. MC and her LI should be fighting like their lives depended on it, because the lives of their child (and by extension, the entire kingdom) depend on it too. Seeing everyone be so… okay with this is horror movie material.

Maybe in another time or another life I would’ve laughed at their stupid table flip gag. I really would’ve. But in this context, and in this book? I’m just tired. Let’s try and look on the bright side. The scenery was pretty. That’s it.

I know everyone’s been saying it forever, but this series has expired. No plot, watered-down caricatures of characters we once loved, dialogue and plot events that make no sense unless you’ve married Liam (and even then, they still don’t make sense). And the worst part about it is that we have to ride it out until it ends. Which may not be for another 15-17 weeks.

[hermitreunited]

TUA Feedback Fest!

💜💜 Favorite Fic Writer 💜💜

I could have split these all up to go under various rec theme posts, and maybe I will, but the gosh darn truth of it is that I love every fic by @sunriseseance​ aka Oceansweather so dang much that I needed to make a post about all of it. A very detailed post. It’s long, but she and her work deserve it. <3

A Hard Rain’s A Gonna Fall

Summary: In 1963, most citizens of Dallas had no idea where Vietnam was. He knew that because none of the people he passes as he walks look particularly dead inside. The sidewalk scorches his feet even though the sun hangs low in the sky. The air is hot and wet and it feels like a jungle growing in his chest.

aka, A Fourth of July fic about Klaus, trauma, family, and history. Takes place in 1963.

Rating: NR⎜Pairing: Implied Klaus/Dave⎜Word Count: 4k+��Complete (1/1)

This is true for all of her fics - the writing style is so engaging and good and smart! This fic in particular, though - WOW the narration is incredible. Gets you very deep into Klaus’ headspace for a gripping, panicky experience. He’s dealing with the fallout of a traumatic event that is about to happen to most of the people around him. So complicated and sad and intricate!

He wants to warn her that, hey, in 6 years your little boyfriend is going to get drafted and he’s going to go to a country you couldn’t pick out on a map and he’s going to kill people who he shouldn’t kill and every week he’ll write you a letter promising you that when he gets back you’ll move out of the city and your baby will have a real forest to play in and then he’ll kill some more people he’ll go to hell for killing if there’s a hell to go to, and then, well, he’ll get shot in the chest and the blood will come out of his mouth, too, and you’ll have to know that you weren’t there, weren’t fast enough to hear his last words or offer him some last comfort and he’ll be dead and for what? 

Happy Birthday, Johnny

Summary: It’s a nice place. Allison made sure of that when she chose it the first time. Three stays ago. God, they’re only 23 (And they are 23 now, or close enough). Three times? She may as well be lighting her money on fire.

Still, the chairs are comfortable. The visiting room is empty, of course, apart from a man with deep, heavy bags under his eyes. Fluorescent lights hum above her as she waits. They wash everything out, cast everything in a harsh shadow. Not that anything about the experience isn’t harsh. This is stupid. She knows it, now, as she feels her heart beating in her throat and the backs of her legs and her fingers.

What if he doesn’t want to see her? What if he was asleep for, what, the first time in 13 days? That’s how long it’s been this time, right? What if he hates her? (What if he’s right to do so?)

Rating: NR⎜Pairing: Gen⎜Word Count: 3k+⎜Complete (1/1)

Get ready for your heart to break from the Allison and Klaus feelings (and hold onto them, because she’s going to do this again, Allison and Klaus feelings is her brand). Being Hargreeves siblings is complicated, so so complicated, especially for these two, whose circumstances could not be more different, but when it comes down to it, they are quite similar. It’s pre-series, so it’s Sad, but boy is it ever a detailed look into these two excellent characters.

On their 13th birthday, before everything went wrong, Klaus snuck into her room at midnight with a magazine he stole and a cake he made. The smell of smoke stuck to all of his clothes, his skin, his hair. He gave her the cake, all of it, and the magazine. The smile that accompanied them haunts her.

He asked if he could sit with her, and she said yes. He asked if she’d ever smoked before, and she said no. He asked if she wanted to, and she said yes. He asked if she wanted weed or a cigarette, she said cigarette. That’s what the movie stars did. He gave her a look, a laugh, and showed her how to hold it so it didn’t burn her fingers. Not that he’d lit it yet. He wanted to make sure she had it down before he set her on fire.

Slow is in My Blood

Summary: Dave touches him, sometimes. In dances through root systems lit by a diffused moon, Dave puts a hand on his lower back, his arm, his shoulder. To help, he says. Your balance, he says, it isn’t good. I don’t want you to fall. These pits are endless, he says. You don’t like the dark. A touch to help. It helps.

aka, A meditation on Klaus and allowing himself to be loved. Dave doesn't die at the end.

Rating: NR⎜Pairing: Klaus/Dave⎜Word Count: 1k+⎜Complete (1/1)

I am biased, I suppose, because this fic was a gift to me. But like!!!! This fic!!! It’s sad and beautiful and lovely and so perfect. I can’t not think about Klaus and Dave’s relationship without thinking about the dynamic in this fic, about how Dave initiates and Klaus keeps himself from running away. It’s gorgeous.

Maybe it’s not one sided. Maybe he touches Dave on the back of his neck just to watch his skin react. Maybe he hopes the reaction comes from the touch itself, and not the chill Klaus carries with him. Maybe he lets the touch linger long enough for Dave to smack his hand away. Maybe he knows, somewhere, that smack is the wrong word. Dave doesn’t smack. He holds, and moves. He lacks a violence somewhere at his core. Maybe it’s the only way Klaus has something Dave lacks, and maybe it’s the only thing Klaus wouldn’t share if Dave asked. 

I’ll Be Cleaning Up Bottles With You on New Year’s Day

Summary: Sitting behind him on the windowsill, in a truth that still feels false, is Dave. Quiet, right now. Rubbing Klaus's neck. Kissing it occasionally. New clothes, even, though still only things Klaus saw Dave wear in life. The closest he came to fancy enough for New Year's was the outfit he wore on the night they first kissed. The dates still get muddled in his head.

Dave still smells like Dave. Klaus can bring that back, too. The earthy-clean skin, the slight scent of sweat, the cotton of the polo. Something else, underneath all that. Something that Klaus could recognize anywhere, could follow to the end of the world, could die to protect.

Rating: NR⎜Pairing: Klaus/Dave⎜Word Count: 1k+⎜Complete (1/1)

OKAY Okay okay. This fic was the equivalent of a bottle of wine when I read it on New Year’s Eve, because it just took these 1092 words, and suddenly I was crying and telling my friends how much I loved them. Me talking about it here is not going to do justice to the warmth and love that you will feel from this. You just have to read it. If you want to experience a moment of perfect contentment and peace that will probably put happy tears in your eyes, read this.

His family is together. Really. They sit in the living room, wearing out couches that have lasted centuries. Allison spills her champagne. Luther only moved Klaus to the slightly-opened window when Klaus started smoking.

Diego's puzzle, which he insists isn't his, keeps finding more pieces. Five and Diego work on it together. He watches them work on it together. He watches Luther help, before getting up to change the record on father's phonograph.

Karma, Leave These Kids Alone

Summary: Klaus is right, because he usually is. Their childhood was worth fearing. But it wasn’t all bad, she thinks, and some guilt pangs her. I wouldn’t wish this on us, but I’m glad I got him out of it. I’m glad Claire is safe.

She holds out her hand for him, and he takes it.

aka, A meditation on Allison and her traumas, guilts, fears, and loves. Centered around her and Klaus, their love for one another, and how that changes her love and fear for Claire.

Rating: NR⎜Pairing: Gen⎜Word Count: 2k+⎜Complete (1/1)

Allison and Klaus complicated feelings part deux! Now with added Claire feelings! The story centers around Allison’s fear of her daughter having powers, which I would read 100 fics about, and because it’s an Oceansweather fic, it doesn’t stop there. The Hargreeves are adults now who are trying to understand their childhood, and how they relate to each other. It’s complex and sad and it hurts but also it’s healing and growth and love.

He laughed that familiar laugh.

Why would she see the dead? Well, she has an imaginary friend like you used to. She has nightmares. Klaus, I am terrified for her. How did you know it was real? He was quiet, and then he said, well, I could see them. I always could. If she doesn’t see them, she doesn’t see the dead, right?

And Allison said yes. That makes sense. And then Klaus was quiet for a while longer, and then he gagged, and then he said, well, why are you terrified for her? She heard the venom in his voice.

Same As It Ever Was

Summary: He tries to love the heels. Really, he does. He knows Dave loves him in them. He knows, hey, it’s his job to look good. Right? Dave fixes cars and Klaus fixes dinner and cleans the house and looks oh so pretty. So, yes, he has to wear the heels. He doesn’t own any other shoes and he can’t go walking around barefoot. Not with his toenails painted black. Why were they black again? And, say, why did his wrist look so blank? He traced a shape that he couldn’t place onto his skin and waited for something to appear. Like invisible ink. aka, Life is perfect for the Hargreeves, which must mean something is wrong. How fortunate that Klaus is smarter than anyone gives him credit for.

Rating: NR⎜Pairing: Klaus/Dave, Diego/Eudora, Five/Delores⎜Word Count: 8k+⎜Complete (1/1)

This fic is so. freaking. cool. It’s closest probably to a horror story? It’s definitely creepy and uneasy, but it’s also melancholy and thrilling and - very importantly -it features Smart Capable Underestimated but Badass Klaus! I am willing to bet you have not read anything else in the fandom like this, and that you are going to be absolutely captivated. I know I am!

Klaus doesn’t want to see Dave, which is not a feeling he should have. He knows this. He knows he wants to see Dave every day for the rest of his life. So why is he running? Why are his feet carrying him to the bathroom? Why is he locking the door? The tumblers clang into place. His hands shake and he’s going to fall over and brain himself if he doesn’t catch his balance. He can only remember feeling so terrified twice in his life—except he can’t. He can’t remember it at all. So he can’t remember ever feeling this terrified.

It’s just Dave.

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Gormless Ch. 9 -  Maccon’s into violence, hypocrisy, raceplay, but worst of all progressive politics.

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it.  They are at her husband’s old pack castle about it.  Are they hiding something?????

Chapter 9 – Maccon’s into violence, hypocrisy, raceplay, but worst of all progressive politics.

So off to dinner we go!  They talk about what a FRIGHTFUL sight it was that Alexia didn’t style and unfrizz her hair before going down to dinner with such dramatic terms that make me wanna gag. But I went from that to barfing myself inside out when I read the following line about Alexia’s frizzy hair:

“Lord Maccon adored it.  He thought she looked like some exotic gypsy and wondered if she might be amendable to donning gold earrings and dancing topless about their room in a loose red skirt…”

GOD DAMN AUTHOR!  We went from some poor choices but plausible deniability to straight up…

Like a lot of my racism complaints are subjective and nit-picky I will give you that.  But the author done goofed good and fucking proper with that line jesus fucking Christ.

GY*SIES IS A SLUR, AND ROMANI WOMEN ARE NOT ~EXOTIC~ SEXUAL OBJECTS! GOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK YOURSELF!

I could fume about that fucking egregious shit the rest of the day but let’s try to distract myself with the parts of this story that aren’t openly racist.

At dinner, LeFoux is talking to some nerd about nerd shit.  Ivy is trying to talk about fish to some dude even though both of them don’t know anything about fish.  There’s a bit of drama when Lady Kingair (aka Sidheag) allows Maccon to sit in the Alpha seat, which TO BE FAIR is kinda bullshit, but the drama dissipates with a harmless distraction.  There is a brief interaction between Alexia and Maccon on the subject of the Tunstell/Ivy drama.  Maccon says they’re a bad match and Alexia agrees DESPITE THE FACT SHE LEGIT TRIED TO HOOK UP THE TWO AT THE END OF THE LAST BOOK BUT THAT’S FINE! Maccon ends the conversation about this slipshod ship-fest by sighing out a perplexed…

“Women”

Maccon you’re literally agreeing with a woman right now!  Boy howdy am I getting increasingly sick of how Maccon uses that word. If a male partner of mine used that word (woman) the way Maccon uses it (as this bullshit signifier that #yesallwomen are so hard to understand and difficult to deal with) I would uppercut him in the fucking taint.

CAN YOU BE ANGRY ABOUT THE ACTUAL CONTENT OF THE STORY FAPS INSTEAD OF THESE THROW-AWAY LINES THAT YOU’RE OVERANALYZING!

BLATANT RACISM AND SEXISM AREN’T THROW-AWAY LINES, BUT YOU BET YOUR ASS I CAN BE MAD AT MORE STUFF! I AM ALWAYS HUNKERING TO ANGRY IT UP!

There’s a point where they call Alexia curse-breaker multiple times (cause she’s a soulless that can negate the powers of the supernatural.)  Ivy and Felicity have no idea what that means and don’t know Alexia is a soulless but nobody bothers to inform them.  I don’t know if this is going to be a conflict at some point or not.

Alexia then has to ~make a fuss~ by asking them about the humanization problem. They act like she is breaking some taboo, but honestly I don’t understand why.  They’re having a problem; it’s her and Maccon’s job to solve the problem, so they should ask about it so they can solve it right? Also these Scottish folks seem much more down to earth and don’t subscribe to the stuffy social mores of British society. So it’s dumb that they act as if Alexia is rudely asking why cousin Larry has two weeping pussies where his ears should be, while jabbing at them with a pencil, and making sexist jokes about it.

But she doesn’t ask questions that are going to be useful until a few pages into this conversation which means just in time for the author to avoid it with a distraction.  I have a feeling the author is going to do the same thing in this book that she did last book.  Started with a mystery, dances around it for the vast majority of the book without adding much to it, and just ¾ the way in the book SUDDENLY SHIT HITS THE FAN ALL AT ONCE AND IT’S REAL DUMB!

So it’s now after dinner and the men and women are separated to chit-chat. Alexia starts quizzing Lady Kingair. Lady Kingair says she wishes she could be a full blooded werewolf.  The only werewolf within a zillion miles who is powerful enough to turn someone into a werewolf is Lord Maccon, cause of course it is.    But Maccon doesn’t want to try to turn her because she’s his last heir and women very rarely survive the transformation.  

Which like, there’s no reason so far why the werewolf club has to be vast majority male.  No ALL MEN orgies, and no SINCE YOU’RE THE ONLY GIRL WE’VE SEEN IN 80 YEARS ALL OUR ERECTIONS POINT TO YOU FEMALE PROTAG!  Perhaps there is some plot point later on.  But honestly? I suspect it comes down to the bias that simply werewolfism is considered a male phenomenon. You can read all sorts of analyses of this but basically it comes down to that men are supposed to have a violent, animalistic nature that they try to suppress.  But women aren’t supposed to be angry, powerful, uncontrollable, or like worst of all HAIRY!  So I don’t want them even as no-name background characters yuck!

Also, oddly enough, last book they said that werewolves sought out actors, and arty types cause they seemed more likely to survive the transformation. Creativity is tied to ~extra soul~ or whatever.  So I want to know why all these werewolves are dim-witted, gruff, military philistines instead of sweet, sensitive, arty twinks, smooching each other?  Is it cause her type is gruff meathead and like an idiot she outright contradicted her own story for no particular reason?

SEEMS SO! GOD I WANT A CASTLE FULL OF HAIRY BESTIAL WOMEN AND/OR CUTE SENSITIVE TWINKS! IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

Nothing else really comes out of the conversation with Lady Sidhaeg Kingair and thankfully we’re saved from that conversation by the sounds of the men folk fighting.

Maccon is fighting with the current beta.  Maccon wins, cause of course he does.  They both grumble bitterly at each other for BETRAYAL and nothing is revealed. Like I am glad there was action, but this was so limp and tepid.  It could have easily been dramatic and they should have revealed something, especially considering they dump the whole story at the end of this chapter.

So Alexia takes him upstairs for fade to black SEX, cause of course she does. Like I won’t kink-shame much, but getting all hot that your husband beat up another dude who is clearly weaker than him for no real reason is bogus yo. A thousand kink-shames upon you.

Afterwards Maccon FINALLY fucking explains something.  He says the reason why he left the Kingair pack is because everybody in the pack was planning to kill the queen of England and didn’t tell him about it.  They’re Scottish and Supernaturals and APPARENTLY the crown hates both of those things.  She appoints Scottish and Supernatural people to the highest places on her court and we have not seen any oppression but just trust us okay.  They kept it from Maccon, because Maccon is a ~progressive~ and thought killing the queen would be a bad idea.  He believes this because the Queen is giving Supernaturals more rights and that if they kill her that it would make Supernaturals look real bad and innocent Supernaturals would be targeted.

That’s a reasonable fear, and honestly since we’re supposed to be on Maccon’s side she doesn’t really try to explain the other side.  Like was it supposed to be a military Coup so that werewolves would be in charge of Britain, since the military is made up of werewolves? Cause that’s honestly pretty fucking interesting.  I know the author says there are a lot more humans than werewolves…but I don’t know why they would fear much of a backlash if they all have superpowers, lots of the money, and are the ENTIRE military.  The fucking Spartans quelled every slave uprising even though slaves vastly outnumbered their military cause their military was trained as hell. Those masc 4 macs thug bros weren’t even able to turn their faces into dog faces.

Also Maccon’s feelings were really hurt when they were going to kill the queen with poison.

“Poison is for bitches amirite?” Maccon laughs misogynistically.  Alexia chuckled in kind and sprinkled something in Maccon’s 5th glass of Scotch.  As he dies in agony Alexia licks her fingertips in triumph. Oops they still had poison on them and she dies.  LeFoux travels to reality and she has the good sex with me. The End!

Okay that exchange didn’t happen, I just wish it did.

So anyway due to the ~betrayal~ Maccon left his pack and it really fucked his pack a big one because nobody was powerful enough to turn other people into werewolves so their pack couldn’t grow and outsiders were disinterested in serving them.  (BTW humans who serve werewolf packs in exchange for being turned into werewolves are called Clavigers in this book.) But this was their punishment for betraying him.  Not punishment for the high treason of attempting to murder a queen and thus throwing the entire country into violent chaos which could have resulted in millions of deaths. The focus for the punishment is highlighted as Maccon’s feelings were hurt.

I have a million questions about this situation but I can forgive the author for not going into more detail. This is a fluff story and doesn’t need to be bogged down with politics.  I can’t help but be  frustrated because the author doesn’t give anything of substance, so when something mildly interesting happens I want to latch onto it but it’s just plywood stuck to a cliff with bubblegum, it ain’t gonna hold my weight.

Thus I plummet back into the pit of frivolousness, hoping futilely there maybe something enjoyable I can grab in order to save my sanity from this stack of bullshit.

PS – I’m way into the fact that the thing they did reveal is not relevant to the actual conflict at the center of this book.

LOVE THAT!

PPS – The fight should have had the Beta forcefully removed from the fight. That he thrashes against another werewolf about how ineffectual Maccon is.  That he has all sorts of strength, power, and money but he’s just a complacent lapdog.  Since he has been dubbed ‘one of the good ones’ he’ll let the less fortunate ones of his race rot while he nibbles pheasant in his castle.  Maccon fires back how hypocritical it is to say you want what’s best for werewolves/Scottish folks while picking fights and putting the less fortunate on the line.  That he’s proving to the kingdom that werewolves are valuable by being a good example and working within the power structure to help his own kind. Afterwards Maccon goes back to his room physically and emotionally exhausted, and cuddles with his wife while he explains the backstory. He cries over his guilt of hurting his pack, and wonders if what he is doing is the right thing.

Problem with that is it doesn’t make the conflict easy to understand and cut and dry.  It also makes Maccon emotionally vulnerable…which like I’M INTO but seems as if it’s not the author or this set of reader’s fetish.

Say something nice Faps:

After pulling teeth for a book and a half we learn something about Maccon.  And it’s actually potentially interesting.

Ivy’s back and forth about her lack of knowledge about fish was genuinely cute and funny.

[goldthorn-archive]

Self Rec Tag

ty @caustinen for the tag! (btw i adore your hollywood au!!)

He May Be The Reason | clegan

aka the notting hill au. my first chaptered fanfic and it’s been so fun to write. going to do my best to finish it in the next few weeks. sort of a bookstore/actor au mashup, w hollywood heartthrob Gale Cleven and travel bookshop owner John Egan. John gets to be british, little brother Croz, miscommunication and pining tropes galore. + it will have a happy ending, as promised by my recent post-main-fic oneshot

No Proof, One Touch | clegan

written for the wota summer event bc i wanted to write “it’s too hot for hugs” and fell a lil in love with describing the boys pre-war and pre-relationship. the pining of it all. the noticing.

Sugar Coated (Melting in Your Mouth) | clegan

john on his knees. john mouthing at gale’s crotch. face sitting. gale asking for what he needs. john taking care of gale. it’s got it all, what else can i say

Baby, My Tongue Goes Numb | crossdavis/the bikeriders

the first instalment in the honey you need it-verse. not chronologically, but the first one i wrote. working title was “benny gag fest” which i think is a pretty good summary. this one fried my brain to write, literally couldn’t look at the word “tongue” after. multiple orgasms, praise kink, breath play, tongue clamp, overstimulation, subspace, this one is so! much!

Already Know What You Got Going On Down There | crossdavis/the bikeriders

the other honey you need it fic i’ve posted. was supposed to be a drabble but became longer (oh nooo). benny in a lil blue nightie trying to get johnny’s attention. ends w a lil spank <3

tagging @nicijones @soliloquy-dawn @swifty-fox

[softlyoongi]

Alien Undies

Summary: Taehyung and Jungkook get matching underwear and decide to show the rest of Bangtan. Word Count: 1,255 Warnings: mentions of sex A/N: I... don't know what this is. @joononthebeach made me do it and it was a completely self-indulgent thing. We were talking about best friend necklaces and started joking about best friend underwear and this happened. so enjoy!

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It was on a Thursday night that Taehyung and Jungkook waltzed into the living room, interrupting the movie fest that the rest of the group was having. It seemed that they were currently watching Beetlejuice and Taehyung was glad that he’d gone out with Jungkook instead. He wasn’t a huge fan of that movie, found it cheesy and a bit boring.

Normally he’d be perfectly content sitting on the couch dressed in his pajamas, munching on popcorn that he’d most likely steal from Jimin, eyes glued to the television as some cheesy romcom played. But today, Jungkook had wanted to go to the store to get a few (aka ten) more white shirts, so Taehyung had agreed to go with him. He’d been going stir crazy anyways, locked inside the dorms and the studio for days on end while he practiced their new comeback to perfection.

Jungkook had definitely found a couple (ten) new white shirts. But they’d also found some exciting new clothing as well, which they were practically wagging their tails while waiting to show the rest of the group.

Taehyung stepped in front of the television and Hoseok let out a drawn out whine, Jimin screeching an angry, “what the fuck!” as if Taehyung had killed an animal with his bare hands or something. Needless to say, he didn’t. But he did turn off the television, which was nearly as bad.

Yoongi grunted and glared at the two maknaes like he was trying to scorch them with his gaze. Taehyung felt Jungkook flinch beside him, but he tried his best to hold his ground, even though he felt as though Satan was reaching for him through that single glare. “We have something we need to show you guys,” he announced in a steady voice that absolutely did not quiver at all, no way.

There was a collection of groans throughout the room, which Jungkook silenced with a, “it’s an emergency!”

It absolutely was an emergency, that much was right, and Namjoon must have known that because he let out the longest sigh ever in the history of mankind. “Well show us then,” Namjoon said, rubbing his brow like a tired father watching his six children.

Taehyung looked at Jungkook and the younger gave him a grin back. “One, two, three,” they chorused together before they both yanked down their sweat pants to a collection of surprised gasps.

“What the fuck!” Yoongi gritted out as Hoseok and Jin squealed and clung onto each other. Namjoon rested his face in his hands. Jimin stared at them with wide eyes, a look of shock sprawled across his face.

Just as silence settled over the room, Jimin broke it, nearly screeching. “You guys bought matching underwear?! Without me?”

The underwear in question was simple, just a pattern of space and aliens and spaceships. Taehyung and Jungkook had just finished a discussion about Ancient Aliens and why aliens were undoubtedly real when they’d seen these heckin’ good spanks, so it was practically like God had come down from space or whatever and shown them that yes, they were right, aliens existed, and they should totally buy best friend underwear.

Taehyung pouted while Jungkook winced beside him. “Sorry, Jiminie, we just saw these and had to get them. Next time, we’ll buy you some for sure.”

“Next time,” Seokjin grumbled hollowly, but it was barely heard due to Jimin whooping loudly in triumph and forgiveness.

Hoseok was staring at Taehyung’s underwear, his eyes wide and his eyebrows in his hairline. It made Taehyung feel a bit like he was staring at his dick, which he guessed was true, but he just put his hands on his hips and brandished himself proudly. It’s not like the others haven't seen him in various states of undress before. Besides, there was that one time that Jimin had sucked Taehyung off when they were young and curious and he’s completely positive that Jimin had also messed around with like, Jungkook, Hoseok, Yoongi, Seokjin, and Namjoon as well. Okay, that was the entire group, but Taehyung wasn’t one to judge.

“So you bought couple’s underwear,” Hoseok stated, more of a confirmation than anything. Jungkook and Taehyung nodded their heads. “And Taehyung decided to get the girl’s version because…?”

“He said girl panties make his dick feel snug,” Jungkook supplied helpfully. “You know. Like a warm burrito.”

Taehyung pulled the material away from his dick and snapped it back into place like he was showing them what Jungkook meant by that. His panties were a basic boy cut, no frills or lace in sight. It had a comfortable waistband and the material cut off right above his buttcheeks. When he’d put them on, Jungkook had smacked his ass and complained that they should switch their purchases because Jungkook wanted to have a good butt too. Taehyung had laughed in his face and told him that no amount of panties could make up for his lack of ass.

The rest of the group didn’t seem to share the same sentiment because they all groaned, except for Jimin who was blatantly staring at them with interest. Taehyung, again, wasn’t one to judge or to take away from his fun.

“Can you just go put some pants on?” Namjoon almost begged, voice desperate for some reason that Taehyung couldn’t figure out.

“Wait!” Jungkook exclaimed, to another round of complaints. “We wanted to do some poses to show off our newest fashion statement.”

“Please feel free to not,” Yoongi suggested.

“Do you want me to take pictures on my phone?” Jimin asked, right before he turned to Hoseok and whispered loudly, “why can’t we be more like them?!”

As Jimin snapped pictures, Taehyung and Jungkook posed together, showing off as much as they could. At one point, Jungkook took off his shirt and flexed all of his muscles at once, and Taehyung couldn’t wait to frame that picture. There was also a moment where Jungkook had taken Taehyung in his arms while Taehyung leaned back, arching his back and putting a hand to his forehead like he was fainting. They should get a framed acrylic painting of it.

Yoongi and Namjoon sighed loudly when Jungkook had casually rested his hand on Taehyung’s butt for that. Taehyung knew that they were just secretly jealous though.

When they were finished and Jimin promised to send them the best pictures, finally he and Jungkook decided to leave the room. “Anyways, we’re gonna go do some activities,” Taehyung said, making sure to grab his pants from the floor.

“Some activities,” Hoseok mused, and Yoongi gagged. Taehyung winked because he liked to rile his hyung up.

“At least just use some protection!” Seokjin called after them as Jungkook took Taehyung’s hand and led then towards his room. “I at least raised you to do that right! I’m too young for grandchildren, you know!”

As they entered Jungkook’s room, they heard Yoongi announce that he was going to quit Bangtan and move to the mountains with a goat.

“You ready for those activities?” Jungkook asked.

Taehyung nodded eagerly and took off his shirt, watching with hungry eyes as his friend crossed the room and sat on the bed. Jungkook beckoned Taehyung over, and he obliged, settling down beside him and almost purring as Jungkook’s warmth settled into him.

Jungkook passed him a controller and Taehyung took it without hesitation, turning on the xbox with his toe as Jungkook leaned forward to turn on the television. “Halo?” Jungkook asked.

Taehyung smirked. “Your ass is mine.”

[amuletrebel]

Bring May Flowers (Ch. 22)

AO3 Link / FF.net Link

Prompt: Real Marichat (aka Marinette and Plagg Interactions.)

Adrien kept his eyes closed as the transformation faded and he was left as Adrien Agreste, standing on Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s balcony with no reasonable explanation of how he got there. He cracked one eye open, subconsciously fearing Marinette’s reaction. But her reaction was nothing like he expected. The blunette just stood there, frozen and gaping like a fish while pointing straight at him. “Marinette…?” he questioned carefully, not daring to move. But she didn’t move. “Mari,” he tried again, taking a single step closer. No reaction. “Princess.” Adrien waved a hand in front of her face. Marinette blinked, broken out of her trance. Her breathing turned heavy. If this was an anime, smoke would be coming out of her ears from how much her brain was exerting itself. “I…and you…and we… But then…you…and I…and then…” Her hands moved wildly, pointing to herself, him, the hatch to her room, and the general area of her balcony. She suddenly bit on her fist to muffle the scream that followed her babbling, so no one below would think there was an akuma attack. “This whole time?!” she yelled. But she was still biting her first, so the words came out like a garbled mess. “Tada…?” the model tried to joke, opening up his arms like some grand performer. But the awkward smile on his face broke any possible illusion of confidence. “Oh god,” Marinette whispered. By now, Adrien learned it was a sign that she was about to go on a babble fest. She needed a way to process everything, so he gave her the floor. “I told you everything. I told you everything about my crush, which you now know is you. I told you about the scarf. And you didn’t say anything! Of course, you wouldn’t say anything. That would reveal your identity since I’ve only told you, well Chat, and Alya. Last I checked, you don’t have the parts to be a girl.” She paced across her balcony, her words blending together as Adrien watched her. Finally, he decided it was time to talk it out together. He gently placed his hand on her shoulder, causing her to stop and turn to him. “Sorry. I’m babbling, aren’t I?” “It’s fine, Mari,” Adrien reassured her with a gentle squeeze on her shoulder. “I know this is a lot to process. I acted the exact same way.” “Really…?” “Cat’s honor,” the blonde responded with a salute, causing Marinette to giggle softly. “I’m surprised actually. I thought you would hate me forever after you knew.” “No, no, no!” Marinette protested, shaking her head. “I mean, yeah, it’s a little upsetting, knowing that you know my feelings this whole time. And my dream of being with you came true with me even knowing it. But…I do understand. As Ladybug, I have to make difficult decisions on what to say and not to say. I need to keep my identity a secret to keep people safe. You were just looking out for me, weren’t you?” “Yes!” Adrien proclaimed, a little louder than necessary. He sheepishly scratched the back of his head. “Y-yeah. I didn’t know how you’d react, and I just wanted you be safe.” The blonde gave her a little smile and she returned it. “About time!” Adrien and Marinette jumped at the arrival of a new voice. Adrien groaned while Marinette stared at Plagg, who came out of hiding. The cat god stretched out before getting up in Marinette’s face. “Plagg!” Adrien scolded. The blunette blinked a couple times. “Hello there. Plagg, was it?” Her cupped her hands, to which the little god sat down. “Yup!” Plagg agreed. “Thanks for all the cheese stuff while I was here.” “You’re welcome.” Marinette smiled and rubbed Plagg’s head with her thumb, causing him to purr happily. “I always wondered what Chat Noir’s kwami looked like. You’re awfully cute, aren’t you?” “Don’t encourage him,” the model pouted, crossing his arms. “I like this one,” the chaos god said while looking at his Miraculous holder and pointing to the blunette. “Marry her and keep her forever.” Both Marinette’s and Adrien’s cheeks flushed red. “Th-that’s enough.” Adrien made a swipe for the black kwami, but he flew out of reach. Marinette giggled, a little louder this time. “Let’s take this in my room,” she said, opening her hatch. “It’s a good thing I made cheese pastries for a snack.” “Mine!” Plagg suddenly cheered and rushed into her room.

Marinette and Adrien inevitably followed. Luckily, her parents were in the bakery, working. So there was no cause for alarm while they were talking. They sat on her chaise as Plagg munched down on the pastries.

“Is it safe to come out now?” a gentler and more feminine voice than Plagg’s piped up.

“Oh, right!” Marinette suddenly exclaimed. “You can come out, Tikki.”

A red blur moved across the room and spotted a short distance away from Adrien’s face. “Hello. Adrien. My name is Tikki. I’m Marinette’s kwami.” She did a cute little bow and smiled.

“Wow, you’re so polite,” Adrien commented, “Unlike a certain cheese-loving glutton I know!” He raised his voice as the sentence progressed, to which Plagg scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Anyway, Tikki. It’s nice to finally meet you too. I’m sorry you had to stay in hiding for so long because of me.”

“No need to worry, Adrien,” Tikki responded with a wave of his tiny hand. “I can see you care for Marinette very much. That’s all I could ever ask for.” “More! More!” Plagg suddenly demanded, pointing to the empty plate. Way to ruin a moment, Adrien scowled. Marinette simply smiled and nodded. “Okay. Adrien, you and Tikki can stay here. I’ll take Plagg down to the kitchen for some actual cheese. Plus, it’ll be fun to talk to another kwami.” She motioned for Plagg to follow and descending down the stairs, making her way to the pantry. “From what I remember, you like cheese. We have Swiss, Cheddar, and Brie.” “Brie!” Plagg cheered, holding out his paws to take the cheese once Marinette passed it to him. He chomped down with gusto, tossing the last chunk in the air before swallowing it whole. “You know,” he suddenly piped up, “he really likes you.”

Marinette blushed and stared wide-eyed at Plagg. “He does?” She shifted on her foot, twiddling her thumbs. “Wow,” she managed to choke out.

“I know I come off as super awesome and dedicated to cheese, because I am, but I want him to be happy.” Plagg floated down and sat on the table, his green boring staring into Marinette’s.

She smiled and picked him up by her cupped hands. “Thank you, Plagg. Not just on my end, but for taking care of Adrien as well. I’m glad he has a kwami like you.”

She kissed is head and he made a gag noise, swatting her away. But Marinette just giggled and took them back up to her room. When they got there, Tikki was in Adrien’s lap as they talked. But his back was to her, so she couldn’t see his face.

“We’re back,” Marinette greeted, the kwamis floating back to their respective holder.

Adrien sat up and gave her a very Cheshire grin. “Well, Purriness.” Oh god, where was he going with this? “If I recall, you won a whole day with a superhero.” He stood up from her chaise and turned around. When he did, she laughed out loud. He was wearing the mask she made for him.

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his nose. “Oh, please. I bet you rigged it.” When he went stiff, she gasped. “No way! Adrien Agreste, Paris’s golden child, rigged a contest!” She laughed, clutching her stomach. “M-might as well…take what…I-I can…g-get,” she said between laughs.

“Plagg, claws out!” The fake mask was replaced with his real one, black leather covering him from head to toe. He led Marinette up to her balcony and scooped her up, causing her to squeak and hold on tight. “This is the only chance I’ll get to be seen with you in public like this. I’ll take it at full value.”

“What do you me– Eeeeeep!” Marinette clutched onto Chat Noir as he jumped across Paris, taking her to only the first stop on their “contest-won” date.

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[tokyoteddywolf]

The New Paladins Of Voltron

"FOUND YOU, SUCKER!" The Red Paladin easily caught the convict by his arm, hurling him across the hall and into a waiting cage, grateful that all that extra training bulked up her strength. Waffle slid the cage door shut, offering her friend a high five. "Nice throw. I was worried we might have to call in Sir or Ash." Syeriane smiled and waved a hand dismissively. "I had it handled just fine! Thanks to Vir's route and Mal's plan, we cornered this guy perfectly! But now, how do we punish would-be pirates in our base?" Waffle smirked. "I mean, ropes were suggested as a containing measure, but what do you think?" Syeriane's smile turned wicked. "I say we consult our bondage experts." The would be raider soon found himself well tied up, suspended from the ceiling of a dungeon cell, surrounded by Paladins and gagged. Jaspur tugged the main suspension rope and let the bandit swing, unbelievably smug. "Nice work Jas, if I do say so myself." Sir commented, Mal poking at the suspended alien pirate in amusement, the poor alien practically a piñata. "Yep, but it's not my fault if he loses circulation in his limbs. I have no idea how alien veins work, so it's anyone's guess how long he'll last like this before stuff starts going numb." The Blue Paladin explained, Waffle snickering at the sudden horrified look on the villain's face. "I'm highly sure he regrets trying to ransack my Castle." Ash leveled a glare at the intruder, five seconds away from taking a staff to the poor pirate's face. "Well, we caught him before any damage was done-" Mal started, before Syeriane jumped in with a "I was the one who caught him, thanks!", the Black Paladin sighing before she continued. "-and everything he took has been returned, as according to plan. Good work guys!" The team high fived, each grinning as they left the dungeons and went up to the common rooms. Sir spoke up next. "So, who's feels like dumping that guy on the nearest abandoned planet?" A chorus of "Same!" echoed the statement, which soon gave way to a full blown laugh fest for the Paladins. Ash blinked, confused. "I don't think I understand the joke." Jas patted the Princess' shoulder. "Tumblr" was the only thing she said before dissolving into more giggles. They did end up dropping the bandit off on a pretty beige colored moon, however. --------------------------------------- @syeriane ta-da! This is what happens when you let Teddy write at unholy hours of the night ^~^;; Vir is actually Mr. Voltron Romance (aka Mr. VR or as I say it, Vir) as Coran :) Hope you like it my dude! :3

[gwen-cheers-me-up]

That We May Live Free

Chapters: 3/?

Fandom: Merlin (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Elyan/Merlin, Elyan & Gwen & Merlin, Gwen/Arthur Pendragon, Gwaine & Arthur Pendragon

Characters: Elyan, Merlin, Gwen, Arthur Pendragon, Leon, Gwaine, Percival, Kara, Gilli, Gaius, Agravaine, Kilgharrah, George, Daegal, Morgana

Additional Tags: Canon Era, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s04e11 The Hunter's Heart, Fix-It, Angst, Trans Elyan, Trans Kara, POV Alternating, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Destiny, Friendship, aka the one where Merlin leaves after Arthur says he can join Gwen in exile, and Elyan comes with him, No Character Bashing, Work In Progress, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary:

After Gwen is banished from Camelot, both Merlin and Elyan struggle to remember what’s keeping them there. A warning from Kilgharrah, a gag order from Arthur, and the discovery of an enchantment on Gwen’s bracelet lead to their departure from Camelot and a re-interpretation of Merlin’s destiny--as well as what could be the beginning of a brighter future for all of Albion. After all, there’s more than one way to make someone queen.

Chapter 3 is here! Written for the @elyan-fest!