#aka crusty ol´ man
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a-killer-obsession · 6 months ago
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Omg your last Hcs ❤️🙏. Would you do a masturbation Hc for the Kid Pirates too?
Yes yes yes 🙌
Now presenting:
☠️ Kid Pirates ☠️
Masturbation Headcannons 💦
🔞 Minors DNI 🔞
CW for somnophilia but in this context please assume it is consenting and pre discussed ✌️
Kid
Hes doing it all day, every day. In bed, in the shower, at his desk, in the crows nest, in his workshop. Walk in on him? He doesn't care, he's gonna keep going with a shit eating grin on his face
He'd rather be fucking you but his libido is so high he doesn't wanna always bother you or Killer, so he's got no problem dealing with it himself
Love love loves mutual masturbation, he wants to watch you watching him
Almost everyone has walked in on him at some point
Knows what he likes and gets straight to it, he can make himself cum quick but if hes bored he'll just keep going over and over
Pretty quiet when he does it though, just grunts and small groans
Doesn't usually use anything external like toys or porn, just his imagination and good ol' righty (lefty had enough of the abuse and left him)
If you're sleeping next to him you better believe you're waking up with cum on your back or stomach if he didn't already put it in you
Killer
As I mentioned in the HC about their dicks, Killer cums a LOT and its MESSY so masturbation is a whole fucking ordeal for him. He can't just do it where or when ever he wants
Only does it in bed or the shower cos of the cleanup, and you better believe that door is LOCKED cos he feels so ashamed doing it
Likes to run his extra hand all over his body and pretend its someone else. It's definitely a intimate thing for him, if he's gonna commit to the mess he may as well make it a whole experience
Really good at holding off, hardly ever just runs away to jerk off
Moans and talks to himself a lot throughout. Bites the pillow and his own hand a lot
Owns porn but doesn't really use it, would rather just touch himself to his own imagination. Doesn't often get horny randomly so if he's run off to jerk it then there's no doubt already something specific on his mind that set him off
The exception to this is when he watches someone else fuck his girl, then he's jerking it full force and unashamed
Heat
Does it almost as often as Kid but still a fair amount
Owns an absolute treasure trove of porn and toys. Definitely has a favourite fleshlight. Probably owns one of those full on torsos
Likes to play with his ass when he's doing it
Whimpers a lot 🤤
Will shamelessly do it somewhere he shouldn't be and then just go about his day with cum still in his pants, kinda likes the thrill of possibly getting caught
Definitely has secret photos of you, don't ask what the white stain on them is
Definitely has The Sock™ and its just as crusty and fucked up as you'd think. Teenage virgin energy
He'll do it while you're asleep and leave you to wake up with cum on your pussy, thanks Heat
Wire
Doesn't have as high of a libido as the others, so he doesn't usually jerk it, he'll just make someone get him off on the rare occasion that he's randomly horny. Usually you or Heat, whichever submissive is available
Hes seen it all so he doesn't just get randomly flustered, but he doesn't let himself get pent up either. He'll have someone deal with it for him if he thinks it's been too long
Aka this man isn't going to bother masturbating, he's just gonna jam it down someone's throat instead
On the very very rare occasion, he'll jerk off watching his submissive(s) playing with themselves or each other
Dead. Fucking. Silent. You get one grunt at the end at thats IT
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pap-da-coconut · 4 years ago
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Look me in the eye and tell me this image doesn´t scream [extended sounds of brutal pipe murder] 
i dare u
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Manga Spoilers ahead :)
So when the new chapters came out I, like many others, was a little annoyed at this whole concept of Deku magically having a bunch of new quirks. I understand that it's been established from the beginning that One For All works as this whole ‘passing on of power’ - but I always understood it as more of an energy than actual individual quirks (and the content given thus far seemed to support this). That said now that is turning out to be the latter, it isn’t something that's caught me off-guard and it very much does make sense and I don’t think it’s ‘Lazy writing’ on Hori’s part, it just hasn’t been explained up until now and if we had learnt how One For All worked all in one single episode at the start of the series I think it wouldn't be as fun of a journey.
One of my main concerns with what's happening is this whole idea of Deku becoming some all-powerful God that no-one can beat, because, lets face it, as powerful as characters like Bakugou and Todoroki are, i don’t think even they would be able to compare to a guy that has a combined total of like 7 quirks, all of which have been cultivated into one massive super-quick that has been held by the former number 1 Pro Hero, so is clearly very powerful. 
So that got me thinking. Why would this happen? Why would a show, that up until now, has been very good with balancing the power levels of its quirks suddenly do a full 180 and just be like ‘Oh yes lil broccoli boi and his rabbit costume can now become God and just breathe in the general direction of his opponents in order to win’?
So, I have a couple points I’d just like to discuss. Feel free to add on anything or challenge my views, im just doing this because im bored and trying to rationalise the decisions in a show made for teenage boys.
So first of i think some people are being a lil bit dramatic about this current arc, sure it’s not perfect and I too wish that some things had played out differently, but at the end of the day it’s not my show/manga and tbh if the guy who made me fall in love with this show to begin with decides he wants to take it in a new direction then let him, he has every right to do what he wants regardless of what i, or anyone else, think and i put my trust in his hands and hope that he can pull this off. Furthermore, are we forgetting that Todoroki exists? The guy has not one, but 2, of the most powerful quirks i think i person could get. His dad is the current number 1 hero and HALF of Todorki’s power is the same as his (sure his maybe works a lil different but my statement stands). Now Ice and Fire, in my opinion, are two very powerful quirks, i mean at like 15/16 the kid took down a dozen or so villans and nearly stopped Nomu (With half his power and with no real training from UA). We compare that to what Deku has and i still think Todoroki has a fighting chance in a match against Deku because these quirks Deku is getting aint all that to be honest, some people are acting like Deku now has; super strength, super speed, telekinesis, can see into the future, mind control, laser eyes, the ability to fully heal on the spot etc. spoiler: He doesn’t. He’s getting some pretty average quirks that will still probably make him top of the class, but not unbeatable. I think some of you are a lil dramatic, and hey i get it, i said at the start i was too, so i feel ya. So, i guess my first point is that some of us need to calm down and maybe just wait until we get more details on the whole situation before we get out our pitchforks and start burning down the fandom over a couple chapters that haven't been fully explored yet. 
My second point that actually has more to do with the plot and less about fandom drama is going back to Bakugou and Todoroki, so my initial thought when everything was happening was “ Bakugou and Todoroki are the other strong members of the class and Deku is now way more powerful than them, how will they ever beat him?” but now actually thinking about it, what does that have to do with anything? Like sure the show is centred around the whole school system and the magical friendships we’re making along the way, but like, Deku’s end goal here isn't to send Todoroki and Bakugou to their graves, they’re just class rivals, and while they do fight, it’ s not to actually kill each other - its to train. Now i’m just going to make a big ol’ assumption here based on basic human nature, but when you train with someone vs when you are actually fighting a villain in a life and death scenario, i don't think you’re going to be fighting at the same effort level. Todoroki vs Deku and Bakugou vs Todoroki were great fights (or at least they were in my opinion) but you compare them to the UA kids vs Stain and you have two very different circumstances and the fights we’re very different for obvious reasons. One was to win a silly little medal and bragging rights. One was to save a friend from literally being murdered by some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle lookin’ dude with no nose. I don’t really think Deku’s new powers will affect the class stuff too much, it’s been established that both Todoroki and Bakugo are more powerful and Deku already and the three of them will never go all out vs each other anyway. So basically my point here is that Bakugou and Todoroki aren’t Deku’s endgame - they’re Deku’s rivals and they’ll be around the whole time, but they’re not Deku’s Villian. So this idea that Deku is now the Number 1 is the clas, while true, really doesn’t matter because Deku is still... Deku and he wants to save people more than he wants to kill them or prove he is the best.
Now children, who is Deku’s Villian? any guesses? Oh yeah, it’s my boy Shiggy (AKA Tomura Shigaraki, AKA Tenko Shimura, AKA Crusty, AKA Get this man some lip balm). Now then. So we have our lil Deku, a young boy of just 16 who has been blessed with 300 new magical quirks (well it's more like 6/7 but that's beside the point here). But who else do we know that probably does actually maybe, kinda, definitely, literally, but also i don't really know, but i think, DOES HAVE 300 QUIRKS?!? It’s none other than Shigaraki’s Master, Mr suit, tie and no face, All For One. Now in one of the recent episodes of the Anime, All Might questions why All For One wants/needs a successor, to which he gives a lil giggle, chats some shit and basic says he wants someone to pass on his legacy to, in the same way that All Might has with Deku. Now I couldn’ t find this exact conversation in the Manga so it might be that the Anime went a lil off script here for drama and whatnot, but when i heard this i was convinced that this meant All For One is going to somehow transfer his quirk into Shigaraki (or maybe take over Shigarakis body or some other nasty stuff - in this world anything is possible), this is also kinda supported by All For One giving a lil giggle to the concept of him being ‘ locked up for the rest of his days’ - the guy clearly thinks he is going to get out and i highly doubt that his current state will allow for him the fight Deku, i certainly do not want to see the lil green troll doll fight a crippled elderly man, but i would like to see him fight a handsome, young, slightly anti-social, gamer nerd. 
So we make it to the end of my lil tale, Deku needs to have all these quirks because his Endgame is Shigaraki and Shigaraki might also be getting a power upgrade in the future and it makes sense, as i don't think some green lightning sparks will defeat some grand-evil mastermind with the powers of all that's evil in this world.... but some black beams that can wrap around stuff might...?
Anyways, i wrote this over the span of two hours, its midnight and i did minimal research into this theory... BUt HEY ITS JUST A THEORY! A GAME ANIME THEORY! And im probably wrong about all of it and also im so sorry for all the sarcastic comments throughout this, i couldn’t contain myself. Im now going to sleep for the next 10 hours because this stressed me out :)
If you’d like to see more of my rambles then heres one on Hori’s female characters
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tf2headshotcanons · 7 years ago
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Something for your consideration. The mercs reacting to their (male) SO singing love songs to them and playing the ukulele
Again, I don't see MUCH difference in whether their male or female BUT this would be more varied than the common ask! So for that, I love your creativity~AlsoYou had me at ukulele~🎸That is not a ukulele.ScoutTrout: You know his reaction to "seducing" Spy? Yeah, that face. He's shocked. Confused. Why is his bloke serenading him? Honestly, the whole way he's surprised and slightly scarred. How dare! SoldierBoi (Fuck me if you don't know the reference!): He gives you the blankest state in American history. Oh! And then he cheers and joins in with his trumpet! He's too stupid to know his man is actually serenading him. But not stupid enough. It's fun and they both have a laugh, playing and singing awfully. But it's love and it's sweet, ain't it? 'Cept you might go deaf on the singing. They aren't exactly quiet either. This becomes a common and random occurrence, much to the other mercs annoyance.PyBRO (you said male lover ;)))) ): Like Soldier, he doesn't recognise it's an act of love. Again like Soldier, he recognises it's fun! So he sits like he's listening to a Smissmas story, head propped on his hands and elbows on lap. He stares in awe before clapping merrily at the end! It's cute, but then he expects a performance every day at the exact same time! Oh boy! (Or man ;)))) )DemHOE: He immediately laughs his heart out. God it's bloody hilarious! And clever! Not to mention, cute of his fella~ He'll lean back and crack one open as he sits back and listens, cheering and wooing his love. Oh, but you think it stops there? You are gravely mistaken, mon ami! No, once it's "over" and he cheers, he pulls out the Ol' bagpipes and plays him a tune. Not so pleasant, may I add? And he'll sing wherever he can. It's all in jest, right? Needless to say, Demo wouldn't mind it happening more often. Hint hint. HIIIIIIINT!HeverlyHills: Nahahah! This made me laugh tbh. The thought. He'll watch with a poker face hard than Gaga's. Not a budge. Not even a mouse (I'LL STOP!) But he'll listen the whole way. It takes him till abouuuut... 3/4 of the song to understand "Riiiight. He's wooing me!" But when it hits him, the biggest and cheesiest smile spreads on his face, his cheeks glowing like Rudolf's nose. It's very sweet and VERY thoughtful. He could definitely get used to it. Though he fails to see the more comical side of the act. He thinks the soft strumming is beautiful and relaxing. Something he could get used to on a cold day, snuggled up to a fire and reading a good book. He's probably the most appreciative.Brogineer: He immediately hollers (is that the correct term?) and claps along! This is an open invitation for him to pull out the Ol' acoustic and play along. Did I forget to mention he'll also sing an old western? (Or some shit). It's like karaoke night, and it's a fun alcohol filled time. This becomes a Wednesday Night tradition. He finds it fun and hilarious actually. Normally he'd invite the other lads, but this man is allll to himself~ Actually, they might get up to "other things" on particularly heated nights. Mon gars! O.OSnoopDog: Surprise is an understatement. His mouth is agap and jaw hanging open (he better close dat mouf!). Like Scout, he's surprised in the beginning. But sees the humour and laughs along, maybe occasionally adding to it with his sax (LOLOLOL sax machine). He does also note the loving overtones, and can't help but hide his blushing mug under his bush hat. Even mumbling the occasional "Quit it!" But his bloke keeps on-a strumming (on those heart strings). It's the middle ground of heartwarming and playful.Cidem: He gives a brief look of surprise before his EvilSmirkTM. Not only is this interesting and unusual behaviour, but he'll join with a violin in a heartbeat! He started grumpy when TF2 was first created before being developed into a more humorous character. I like to imagine that he does see the humour and finds it "Fucking hysterical" (10 points if you get the reference!) it's also a window of experimenting with behaviours, so bonus?Cunt... I mean, Spy: Like Heavy, he pulls on the Monster Poker Face, though with the added raised brow. He immediately knows you're trying to seduce him, and hey! Who wouldn't? (Coughmecough) He IS the "handsome rogue" after all. He expects something LIKE this, but not this (unless his lover is quirky, then he half expects it). He gives them the time to finish before applauding and pointing out when they were off note. But! They are rewarded with a small smirk with the value equivalent to Kronk's Dad's "Big Thumbs Up!". He may chuckle at the humour IF you're lucky. But get him to join? No way! Unless it's more sophisticated and there's a piano nearby. He'd rather you piss on his suit. PAUSE.For you, you get the bonus: Pauling (With a female lover): Surprisingly? She probably reacts rather similar to Scout. The whole time, she stares in confusion (again, ref Exp Date) and at the end, simply states "Uhhh okay...?" She doesn't get it. It's kinda wasting her free time. But like Ad, she's kinda smitten by their quirkiness. But she definitely tells them to NEVER do it again. If you're wondering what's happen if it did occur again, well... Nothing really. She'd probably just walk off.Admin (LesboMODE ACTIVATE! Aka, my dream - PxA4Eva!): Unimpressed. It's Admin, what did you expect? She's honestly surprised she's kept such an "idiot" around for so long. But somewhere in that repulsive, crusty heart, she actually is somewhat impressed on how spontaneous she is. It's worth keeping the oddball around.Mezzy-Chan (Double bonus, imagine Soldier or Demo): [SolDoll] Ok. Okkkkk. Just when he thought this man didn't have any more brain cells to lose. It's... Actually impressive that he has that many in the first place. Oh, and impressive he can play such an instrument so beautifully. He'll probably even have it as some sort of background ost for his spells and shit. Similar for Demo, except he has more faith in Demo's intellect. And actually doesn't clash with him as bad.
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tumblunni · 8 years ago
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Cathedral Tower Defense Game character ideas and stuff so far! I’ve talked about some of these before but I wanna just compile it in summary form, and try and get thinking about more to add. It’d be so cool if I could make it like an early suikoden game where you have the world’s biggest party selection! Or at least have that equivelant but with recruiting shopkeepers and townbuilders and stuff.
So... long post ahoy!
* Protagonist (Sir/Lady/Master Amity) Your selectable renameable main charrie! A badass disabled veteran who lost their family in the war and ended up defending this cathedral town of strangers in order to prevent another tragedy. They’re generally distrusted at the beginning, have a lot of doubts about what philosophy they should take in life, and its up to you to decide how the story plays out. But no matter what, this protagonist is a cool grumpy comically-serious nerd gramp! (or gran or etc) i really REALLY like the idea of changing them to be an older veteran character, it just works so much better and seriously WHY are there like zero grandma protagonists in anything ever? I will vow to make this one as amazing as possible!!
* Florin Generally supportive yet sassy and lazy deutorogonist helper guy. He’s your first ally in this world and maybe kind of a tutorial, lol. Even though he’s a total cinnamon roll, he’s as distrusted as you because he’s a demon. Even the protagonist kinda wonders why on earth he wants to help them, and whether he’s some sort of enemy spy... His elemental realm is over plants, and he has no greater joy than taking a nice nap amoungst the flowers~
* Malachi At the moment the only fully developed idea I have for another party member, aside from Florin. Though I’m not sure if I want him to be optional or mandatory? In either case when you recruit him he’s the catylyst for a lot of character development for Florin, and they end up becoming like a lil adopted family ^_^ Anyway, Mal is a very young and adorable demon child that the party finds sealed away beneath some ruins. Precociously innocent, he seems unaware that he’s become a monster. I mean, everyone eats rocks, right?
* Admiral Chiffon (wip name) A major recurring enemy turned ally! Chiffon starts off as just the eccentric comic relief member of the opposing army, kinda harmless and kinda entertaining. And you might pity her quite a bit, because her coworkers treat her like absolute shit. I basically invented this character because I got sick of seeing the ‘ha ha flambouyant gross comic relief villain’ thing in recent fire emblems, and wondered what it would be like to have a villain whose LGBTQ status is treated as a sympathising aspect instead, leading to a redemption when she finds people who dont treat her like those damn writers treated everyone :P So yeah, she’s a transgender woman who faces a lot of predjudice in her career, and I hope I can make it very heartwarming when she finds true friendship with our heroes! And also I hope it can make the non-comic-relief villains seem extra disgustingly unforgiveable after you see how badly they treat their own teammates. Her personality is gonna be kind of a greedy merchant sort of person, but what if that archetype was a good character instead. She remains sassy and greedy even when she’s been redeemed, i like a good ‘ol vice-filled hero yknow! Character development is my jam! Also all i know about her design so far is that I think I want her to have stylishly skunk striped hair, to represent greying streaks and all. I was imagining her as the token grandma of the cast before I decided to age up the protagonist lol
* Currently unnamed church matron duo, aka Timon And Pumbaa One of my early-ish undeveloped concepts for non-battling town members. These two are florin’s equivelant, they’re the town workers you start off with before the game really starts. I’m thinking they’d be like nuns/priestesses that worked at this place before you came along, and you have a bit of a rivalry here because they pragmatically know they need you to defend the stronghold but they’re also very wary of you. The ‘timon’ one would be the main one who actually holds all these opinions, a sort of crusty matronly mega paranoid lady who thinks you’re gonna backstab us all at any moment! And she’s some sort of super scary chronic sufferer of resting bitch face, even though she sees herself as the ultimate arbiter of justice everyone else thinks she’s terrifying. Just imagine her trying to hug a baby that just cries as if it saw the face of death! Life sucks when you’re a lawful good character stuck in a chaotic evil character design! And then her partner is a funloving pumbaa-esque team chef, who’s actually kinda too loving and innocent to ever distrust anyone. But she always just falls in with whatever her boss says, its like a pinky and the brain situation. Oh and I’m already kinda preemptively shipping these two before I’ve even finished designing them XD
* Depression jail janitor Starts as a prisoner you take from one of the enemy raids, but he ends up winning your trust and joining your team. Entirely against his will! he’s a chronically depressed man who was forcibly drafted into the evil army even though he doesnt believe in their cause, but now he feels like he’s unforgiveable anyway. So he spends all his time trying to convince you that he is indeed pure evil! But the more humble he is, the more everyone believes in his genuine kindness. Alas! It doesnt help that he also kinda has chronic hero syndrome and cant resist helping out in every possible way. So that is how a prisoner ended up becoming the one in charge of the jail keys! And he’s like Everyone’s Dad. (Even the people decades older than him...)
* Former bully powerful friend The one other main child character, cos I wanted Malachi to have some friends. They start off at odds and she initially joins in with everyone bullying him, cos she wants to fit in. But he ends up helping her deal with her insecurities and realise she was only resenting him for being ‘weak’ because she saw herself reflected in him. or rather, the traits in herself she’d tried to hide to make everyone like her, even if it meant joining in with bullying and only having horrible asshole friends. So she sacrifices her popularity with the main clique in order to defend malachi, and ends up finding her first true friend with him. They’re better off being outcasts together! So yeah cutie malachi will have some sort of stronge deliquent friend with a heart of gold, and I’m not sure yet whether she’d be playable or not? i kinda feel like its not right to have someone that young join the party unless they have magic powers to protect them. So maybe she can fight by teaming up with malachi, actually? like, she rides atop his stone dragon golem form and supports with ranged weaponry or something. or just acts as an advisor? I liked the idea I had that there would be a buffs-only type of magic stone, and people could cast it on themselves to have enhanced senses at something or other and improve their supporting skills. Like the protagonist would maybe have an eyesight-enhancing buff crystal to act as a sniper scope!
* Rival warrior buff teen person Very undeveloped cos I just came up with them ysterday, lol! I’m thinking possibly make this character female just cos this archetype doesnt get to be female all that often. Kind of a draco malfoy type snooty rival, but with a more sympathetic side and ultimately you do become friends. Theyre just a simple ordinary citizen who was doing the best they could to protect their family before you came along, and now kinda resents the fact you’re all BETTER THAN EVERYONE and taking their job as guardian! They have a lot of anxieties over the fact they struggled so hard to become self-trained and now you’re here making it look easy. So the plot has a general theme of believing too much in ‘destiny’, and that some people are just born with talent and you’ll never succeed if you werent lucky enough. This character started off trying to act like theyre inherantly blessed with that talent, because they’re terrified that they aren’t... Oh and I think once you befriend them I think they might be like a ryuuji/junpei type of friend? But without the weird sexism and homophobia randomness that persona 4 threw onto yosuke. Just like a bit of a cheerful cliche ‘bro’ who isnt all that interested in books and likes to be all ‘cmon do it for the vine’. A good polar opposite to the protagonist who could have some cute interactions!
* Rival warrior’s chilled out older sibling figure of reasonableness Every rin needs a yukio! I think they’d be maybe a bartender or owner of a restaurant or something? Just some sort of super chilled out job where they act as an agony aunt to their customers, the place is very popular because of the great service. (Though also everyone is kinda like ‘yo you dont have to run it all by yourself, yo you dont need to give us bonus extra special treatment, seriously get some sleep dude!!’) But anyway they’re this perpetually relaxed super kind soul who’s always the reasonable response to their lil sib’s ohohoho angry rivalness. But the bad side to it is that they’re also a lil depressed and apathetic about their own life, they’re kinda like someone who really lives for their family, in a bad way. They’ve been like a single parent to their sibling because they had kind of a tragic backstory, and big sib has just grown too used to sacrificing everything in order to help other people and never taking care of themself. And they have a lot of trouble even.. feeling emotions. The outwardly chilled and happy-go-lucky facade covers up just a void of nothing but self hate and emptiness. They feel like they’d already been tainted by the way their abusive parents used to treat them, its too late for them and all they can do is try and save other people from falling down the same path. Oh, and I think maybe the two siblings are actually immigrants from the villain country? Like, when older sib ran away from the abusive family they ended up here, and now they try and keep it secret, to the point that even the younger sibling doesnt know where they were born. Basically I just wanna have a LOT of different subplots showing how the ordinary citizens of this country aren’t all evil just because their government are the bad guys in this story. And especially covering topics like characters who’re part of that ethnicity and get treated like they’re inherantly terrorists even if they were born and raised in a completely different country!
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