#aint nothing like the real thing

[howardhawkshollywoodmusic]

72. Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell debuted Apr 68 and peaked at number eight, scoring 960 points.

The song, and all the duo's hits, were written by Nickolas Ashford and Valerie Simpson. The first charted remake was Aretha Franklin's in 1974, but it missed the top 40., as did the remake by Chris Christian with Amy Holland in 1982. The most successful remake was by Donny and Marie Osmond. In 1977 they peaked at number 21.

[azaracyy]

a lesson on good karma digimon survive week 2024 day 4: supporting characters

[pcktknife]

it's crazy how mspaint is really one of the top art programs

[alisaint]

sometimes characters are written so spectacularly that it's almost like there's nothing for anyone else to say bc the author already said it all. like what analysis can you provide that the author didn't already weave into their work. characters that are written so well that all you can do is carry them with you because they speak for themselves. characters that are so wonderful you don't even feel the need to come up with headcanons or anything bc the source material already fed you and stuffed you. i'm speaking of ms katniss everdeen here of course btw

[seithr]

i passed my alc serving exam :]

[toytulini]

they should make more songs about rats i think

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

writing poetry sometimes feels like you gotta cut yourself open to express it idk smear all your organs all over the page and hope somebody else reads something beautiful. is that like divination the way it's expressed in various places and things? I dunno. poetry never slides off your skin like water off a duck's back. it's from within I think. sometimes you have to tear yourself apart to get at the words and sometimes it just wells up from within and gushes out. always from somewhere deep inside. sometimes it's difficult and horrible and painful but the alternative would be worse. sometimes it's from sheer joy that must overflow into words. I think that's beautiful personally. skin splitting from joy. it happens, I think, to us all at some point. or maybe I'm just a creature of extremes. maybe that online test I did because a friend recommended it is true. it said my symptoms were high. I don't know. maybe it is true, maybe it's not. I read a book once where there was a character named Nathan Hill-and-Dale, and while I'm not nearly as extreme as he was portrayed, in my extremes, I know I'm a fairly volatile person. funny, for most people who see me IRL seem to think that I'm fairly calm. nope, I'm a volcano. watch out, even when I'm apparently calm I might blow up one way or the other. one of my residents' family members said today that I was young and bubbly and she was glad to see it because happiness is the prerogative of the young. a part of me wished I told her. I have actively tried to kill myself once; I have come extremely close to the same actions countless times including yesterday; I would sooner hurt myself than others; if I had my own choice I would simply starve. of course I didn't tell her. sometimes I think I'll never get better. at this point I would consider it a very high chance that I will either die by suicide or end up in hospital following an attempt. not now, of course. but despite my fierce love for my course it has stress associated with it and I think that it's very likely that no psych help on earth would fix my mental health enough for that not to be an option mentally in this short time. I think it's possible to recover from all of the things I struggle with. God help me, I hope it is. the real question is whether I will survive long enough to recover from them. and the answer? I know not. I was reminded of a past interaction with the boy today, where he called my name - I turned - his grandfather, a photographer, was waiting to see if he could get a decent photo, for we were at a church conference and he was trying to get photos everywhere. they were laughing. I could not help but laugh. that memory is tainted now, for he would not look at me now, let alone try to pull such a stunt again. I don't blame him. I don't blame anyone for it. I wonder what would happen if I blocked all my friends on discord; who would seek me out? part of me hopes people would, another part hopes they would not. sometimes I just want to be left alone to curl up and die. it would be easier. so much easier than living, and living, and living. I tried writing poetry just now. it felt like trying to cut myself open, I couldn't get the words out. it only made me feel rather wild. I'm desperate for change, for something. something. what is that something? I don't know. did you know I'm a sadist? I would not in a public place express the thoughts that led me to that conclusion. but I am. I wish I wasn't. there's an obvious solution to that. quick, and easy. so easy. too easy. I tried writing poetry, and then instead of writing anything coherent, I wrote this.

[constantvariations]

V9C3

What sites are y’all using? I had to go through like 3 before finding one that would work :/ either way, react time yeehaw

Post Ep: this is essentially a mental breakdown of an episode and I hated every minute of it

I think crwby put more attention into the trees than the story

Weiss for the love of cheese and crackers stop with the fucking wAcKy animations I am begging

Why does this little red shite sound so shitty? I wanna shove him in a locker and give him swirlies. Also wow an entitled dramatic flamboyant prince. What a totally unique idea. I am in utter disbelief at such creativity. How can we ever thank our crwby overlords for such a great character.

I unpause the video and immediately need to kill this stupid shitheel. I cannot believe we are getting all the most annoying characters in a single fucking volume. At this point I’d be willing to endure another fucking Jaundice arc if it meant never hearing the prince or Little ever again

I am losing my goddamn mind every 3 seconds. I’m going to start chanting latin and climbing up the walls and spewing pea soup everywhere

I’m going to go full Blaire Witch. The last y’all are ever going to hear of me is when the forest rangers find my shitty recorder at the torn apart campsite and the last thing you’ll ever hear is me going “Where is the fucking plot what are the themes what is this tone someone help me”

Ruby is red. Shouldn’t that like. Factor in at all? Dude’s so upset at the color green but is totally chill with yellow, black, and blue? Is it because green is the opposite of red?

So it’s a shitty chess game with some elements of wizards chess. Did these motherfuckers really pluck inspiration from Harry fucking Potter? Right down to the kids being pieces??? Are y’all for fucking real??

Wait a goddamn minute the pieces being advanced upon can fight back? What sense does that fucking make? Unless the framing is really awful and I can’t see the space the pieces are fighting over? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense when Ruby’s calling out moves but the shitlord isn’t

And now it’s a full out assault? What is this game and why does it suck?

Normally I don’t notice music due to my auditory issues but the song coming out of nowhere with a jazz bit was so weird I missed like half the battle

Also RUBY YOU ARE HUGE SWEEP THE FUCKING BOARD DUMBASS

Wow .2 seconds of despair followed by an all out victory. Riveting

Ah the cat monstrosity. The first instance of gradients and it’s so atrocious

NOW LITTLE RECOGNIZES THE FUCKING CAT FUCK THIS GODDAMN MOUSE

Wait wtf Neo fell at the same time as Ruby right? Why is she just now shooting starred into wonderland. Why does she immediately waste energy shifting into Ruby and Cinder? Why would she even want to?

And why build up the twitch creature if it’s just going to be ganked off screen? I assume it’s going to be making a return considering the design but also why didn’t they have it do anything before being Neo’d?

At the very least this hints that Jaune won’t be appearing until later, if crwby can remember their own rules for 5 minutes. We might even be Jaune free a few more episodes! Took Neo 3 to show up so hopefully Jaune won’t make it til 6

[krysmcscience]

Followers, feel free to ignore this, it's not art or writing or even really anything interesting.

If you clicked in, anyway, it is also not aimed at any of my IRL friends or followers (unless one of my followers is not who they claim to be, I guess?). Anyway, it's literally just venting bullshit. Feel free to click back out, there aren't even any details that could lead you back to anyone involved.

It's wild that I spent six months talking on and off with someone who turned out to believe that a few months of miscommunication and poorly set boundaries, followed by some arguments and disagreements about it, all interspersed with private IRL venting is a reason to blow up several friendships and go on a warpath. Like. Bruh. Sometimes people tell white lies to be polite. Sometimes people change their minds about stuff with new information. Sometimes people learn new things about what upsets them. And sometimes people vent in private about things that bother them about someone else (friends included). That doesn't mean they're actively plotting to do harm, or two-faced, or back-stabbing, or the worst thing ever in existence. This is. Literally just how humans socialize??? In reality??? Sometimes you just accidentally hurt one another, accept that mistakes were made, and make up afterward so you don't wind up abysmally lonely!

Loved looking through all their "receipts" of all the "wrong" that was done and being like, dang, most of this just looks like standard boring clashes between friends that could easily be mitigated with healthy communication, actually??? Along with a bunch of words exchanged by two people who blew up on each other and now clearly don't want to talk anymore??? And yet they've posited it like it's some huge "gotcha", with scribbled commentary mixed in on the side, as if their ex friend is a True Monster rather than a normal person who makes mistakes. JFC, it's just demented. (And, in standard form, it's all cherrypicked! No real context aside from their own narrative and warped perception! And no admissions of their own wrongdoing! They even lied about not being into NC/SA despite drawing so much horny shit for it! I mean, I knew it would pan out this way, but good gravy, the lack of awareness there??? Unreal.)

Also apparently they don't realize that constructive conversations about some things they have grievances with can and do happen without them being or needing to be told about it, either, because all of the actual wrongs they had receipts for were genuine mistakes or newly realized hard boundaries that have either already been addressed or are being addressed IRL. Although, them posting those actual wrongs definitely violated a very hard boundary set in place by another person on the sidelines who didn't even want to be involved, so, hmm, that's fun.

Very telling in the end that they couldn't respect all the blocks put in place. But of course, it's only okay if they trample on boundaries. Clearly only their boundaries and desperate need for validation and attention matter. Also very telling that they tried to air all their shit out publicly despite everyone else involved staying almost completely silent about it and otherwise keeping it fully anonymous. But of course, it's only okay if they disrespect other people. Clearly that makes it okay to drag in unrelated parties who never asked or cared to be involved and just wanted to have some nice relaxing internet time. Also very telling that they ignored the very simple fact that they and I were mutuals (up until literally three days ago), and thus their shittalking kept winding up on my dashboard, which I initially tolerated (until they got usernames and then me involved) because people are allowed to be hurt and vent about it even if I disagree with their takes on what happened. But of course, they're not ever allowed to be wrong. Clearly I must be a weird creepy lurker, instead, who never does any self reflection despite having actual diagnosed social anxiety that forces me to question my every last action.

If the person in question happens to be reading, follow your own fucking advice, quit Actually Lurking, and get help. Proper help, because if you're seeing a therapist already, clearly they can't cotton on to how you go to extreme lengths to avoid revealing anything that might reflect negatively on you, which explains why your cherrypicked receipts still have none of the hateful screaming of yours that I personally read, or any of the really callous things you wrote in your tags after the fact. I'm willing to bet you're over there patting yourself on the back thinking your target stepped in it by deleting those comments, too, because that's just how you are, but here's a reality check: You took it too far. You put up your private conversations with their spouse for anyone to see, despite that you definitely did not have permission to do that from said spouse, Your Actual Friend, who would NOT want that shit online under ANY circumstances. I don't even need to ask to be sure about that, either. And you should know exactly why what you chose to do is a problem.

Oh, and here's another fun reality check: If you can't figure out the bare basics of even the simplest character (and you can't, this has been established, I literally had to spell out an obvious homophobic dog whistle for you), what makes you think you're qualified to assess and diagnose an actual living person who is infinitely more complicated than a fictional character? Because if you actually think you are, you are quite literally delusional. You are not living in the same reality as everyone else. You know all of the words, yet none of their substance.

Now go away. I made it very clear that you are not welcome anywhere in my life the moment I blocked you. You've willfully spat in the face of my honest attempts to help you, and successfully burned all bridges with me, so I want nothing more to do with you. Look upon your scorched earth and enjoy the smoke you've gained from it.

[astonmartinii]

nonsense... or is it? | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem singer!reader

face claim: sabrina carpenter

based on this request: sooo, anyways,,, i was thinking maybe a smau where Charles is playing the guy who Milo was and this obviously breaks the internet even more and this leads to them dating ??? idk, just like a really wholesome one where she was his celebrity crush and now they're dating bc of them getting know each other more bc of the music video. sorry if this is all over the place but yeah. - @whoreks

MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI?

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,200,441 others

yourusername: holla babes !!! the feather music video is heading your way fast xxx if only my real boyfriends were like my music videos ones ...

view all comments

user1: MOTHER

user2: finally music videos are back baby !!

taylorswift: you can still make the whole place shimmer ✨

yourusername: thanks to you baby

user3: oh to be able to call taylor swift baby

user4: y/n's shade is so underrated - i too wish her boyfriends were as good as her mv ones

user5: she's got such a good eye for casting why can't she do this in her actual love life

user6: okay but he's hot based off a single shoulder i'm excited

user7: you got that from a SHOULDER?

user8: he's TALL?

user9: babe y/n is like 4'2 she makes everyone look tall

user10: say what you want about the catholic church, they got the aesthetic down pat

yourbff1: so we aren't asking the mv boyf out? boring.

yourusername: we have lil things called phones? USE IT HOE

user11: charles leclerc in the likes

user12: so true of him

user13: unless he's... the guy

user14: babe he's way too short lol

user15: have yall seen the sky ad? baby aint acting any time soon

yourusername

liked by yourbff1, charles_leclerc and 1,763,550 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: OMG you guys blew the feather music video up !! i'm sure it had nothing to do with this random guy i found off the street? jokes, thank you charles for being the perf mv boyf xx

view all comments

user17: HOLY FUCKING SHIT

user18: celeb crush inception no one touch me

charles_leclerc: thank you for my music video debut, maybe you can return the favour one day?

yourusername: i'll return any favour you want

yourbff1: dial down the desperation babe

charles_leclerc: what if i want her to dial it up please?

yourbff1: do NOT encourage her

yourusername: please encourage me :)

user19: Y/N STAND UP PLEASE

user20: actually y/n is so real have yall seen that man YUM

liked by yourusername

user21: y/n is a genius for fancasting her future bf in her music video

danielricciardo: THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT? SHARL WHEN I CATCH YOU

pierregasly: and me :( i thought our friendship meant more ....

charles_leclerc: it was a secret

yourusername: he doesn't kiss and tell xoxo

alexalbon: WHAT ??????

charles_leclerc: okay we can stop joking now

yourusername: fine...

user22: the way charles was defo typing that through tears

user23: y/n make the move we believe in you

user24: believe in her? she can get anyone she wants he's gotta STEP UP

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 2,099,441 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: had a blast filming for my first ever music video, thank you y/n !!

view all comments

user25: i'm feeling a new unhealthy attachment forming

yourusername: feel free to come back any time soon

charles_leclerc: or maybe you can come to me?

yourusername: is this my paddock debut?

charles_leclerc: make sure you're wearing red and it sure can be

yourusername: let me check the wardrobe

user26: i will pass away if we get y/n at a race... in the ferrari garage ???

pierregasly: let it be known i am still angry that you didn't tell me, especially after all the weird rants i've listened to

alexalbon: me too

georgerussell63: me too

landonorris: me too

danielricciardo: me too

carlossainz55: me too

maxverstappen1: me too

charles_leclerc: why is max here?

maxverstappen1: that's what you're taking from this?

charles_leclerc: yeah why are you in my business

maxverstappen1: you make it my business you talk about her all the time

yourusername: oh really ???

charles_leclerc: HE'S A BIG FAT LIAR HE'S ALWAYS BEEN A BIG FAT LIAR ALL HIS LIFE INCLUDING WHEN I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY PUSHED HIM IN A PUDDLE

maxverstappen1: YOU DID PUSH ME IN THAT PUDDLE

yourusername: what is going on here?

user27: poor y/n being thrown into the grid drama

user28: poor charles with the grid trying to expose him

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,334,661 others

yourusername: clearly was feeling myself this week

view all comments

user31: lol why is max here

maxverstappen1: doing my due diligence as an investigative journalist

charles_leclerc: choke.

user32: is that charles? are we in the soft launch?

user33: let's not get ahead of ourselves, we know charles doesn't dress that well

user34: consider this: girlfriend effect

user35: girlfriend effect is gonna have to do some heavy lifting when it comes to charles' wardrobe

yourbff1: you think you're so slick don't you

yourusername: maybe. maybe not?

yourbff1: you're so annoying

yourusername: annoyingly cute?

liked by charles_leclerc

yourbff1: keep your nose out of women's business leclerc

charles_leclerc: SLANDER

user36: i mean they seem to have the same sense of humour

user37: not to sound insane but they are perfect for each other and i will be passing away if they are not together

pierregasly: interesting

danielricciardo: add it to the folder

charles_leclerc: folder ???

maxverstappen1: leave us journalists be

charles_leclerc: can you even read?

yourusername: GET HER JADE

maxverstappen1: add that as well

charles_leclerc: why can't we win?

user38: what is going on in the house of commons

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2,331,663 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: i don't believe in soft launches

view all comments

user39: we been knew... but OMG PARENTS

user40: i am crying they're so hot

yourusername: hawt bf obtained

charles_leclerc: sexy gf in my inventory

yourusername: you're such a cute patootie

charles_leclerc: i cannot speak my mind or instagram will censor me

yourusername: ...oop hurry up and come back :(

charles_leclerc: about to break all US speeding laws xoxo

yourusername: not you in your charli xcx era

user41: he's with her ... in the US ... could we get y/n paddock debut in vegas ???

user42: would only be right i fear

user43: the scheduling just about makes sense before she has to go back to opening for taylor in south america

user44: now why did vegas not get in their bag and get y/n to perform at the opening ceremony?

pierregasly: way to ruin the investigation

danielricciardo: yeah we were in our sherlock holmes era

maxverstappen1: have to spoil everything don't you charles 🤨

charles_leclerc: i thought you guys wanted to know who my girlfriend is?

alexalbon: yes, but we wanted to expose it :(

yourusername: CORNY

pierregasly: oh no. he has someone on his side now

yourusername: damn right frenchie. i can hear your asshole twitching from here

pierregasly: WHAT ???

charles_leclerc: idk what that means but YEAH PIERRE TAKE THAT

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 2,114,762 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: gutted not to be on the top step but an overall great weekend in vegas. glad to have y/n by my side this weekend before she's off again to slay the stage xx

view all comments

user48: charles unironically using the word slay, the girlfriend effect knows no bounds

user49: the sky camera zooming in on y/n watching the podium

user50: i think we watched her fall in love in real time

user51: i mean look at the material... podium charles hits so different i think I FELL IN LOVE

yourusername: you're a winner to me babe

charles_leclerc: and that's all that matters

yourusername: NOPE STAY HUNGRY GET THEM POINTS AND DESTROY THE REST OF THE FIELD

charles_leclerc: okay :)

yourusername: good boy

pierregasly: never say that in public again

maxverstappen1: is this why he's blushing so much in the press conference?

charles_leclerc: NO. NO REASON

yourusername: you sure?

charles_leclerc: i am the unluckiest driver ever and am screwed over at every turn sue me if i like a lil praise

user52: charles is so real for that i also want y/n to tell me i'm doing a good job

alexalbon: enough time has passed. @yourusername can lily get some extra tickets for the eras tour

yourusername: of course. anything for my new bestie

lilymunhe: thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu. charles you have amazing taste

charles_leclerc: i know :)

yourusername: i mean i got you, so who's the real winner here?

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,667,982 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & taylorswift

yourusername: my leg of the eras tour has come to an end :( this was such an insane opportunity, thank you so much taylor xx but this also means i can go annoy charlie until he has to go back to work !!

one last nonsense outro:

i met this lovely boy named charlie,

he races round the world for ferrari,

giving it to me everyday like ari

view all comments

user53: i think y/n might actually be winning in life

user54: is she referencing everyday by ariana grande which is literally just a song about having constant sex?

yourusername: yes and what about it? f1 drivers have great stamina

arthurleclerc: DELETE ASAP

yourusername: no can do baby leclerc

user55: fave outro for real

charles_leclerc: i am blushing !!

pierregasly: she just told millions of people all you do is fuck and now you're blushing ???

yourusername: i don't think mr doggy emoji is talking right now

charles_leclerc: at least y/n did it in an artful way

pierregasly: believe me i know YOU WON'T STOP SINGING IT DOWN THE PHONE YOU MENACE

yourusername: you sing my songs :) ?

carlossainz55: ALL THE TIME

yourusername: i don't like your tone mr 🤨

charles_leclerc: i am just showing my love :(

yourusername: @pierregasly @carlossainz55 you made him sad APOLOGIZE IMMEDIATELY

pierregasly: sorry?

carlossainz55: sorry i guess?

charles_leclerc: thank you :) i shall continue to sing to my heart's content

yourusername: good.

taylorswift: you were amazing !! i'll see you soon my love xx

yourusername: i'm hearing double date ??

taylorswift: i'm sure that can be arranged

charles_leclerc: OMG

user56: charles and travis are really the top tier himbo bfs and i love them for that

fin.

note: i really loved writing this so i hope this was everything you imagined and more!! i'm just getting into sabrina's music but i was a girl meets world stan so... i hope i did the nonsense outro justice xxx

[nerdykorgi]

whoopee doo! More Grimwalker blorbos <333

These two are Valor and Cell! (Valor is the o. ne to the top left and Cell is the one to the bottom right)

Valor is supposed to be that one guard from hollow mind. The idea of cell was given to me by my cousin @uncannyx23 , mostly because he loves that cyberpunk stuff or whatever it called lol.

Valor is an engineer and smartie pants who basically created Cell, who is used as Belos's personal weapon. They are a package deal, do not separate' them.

There's more to their story but I'll prob save the rambling for later anyon e's actually interested lol

. (Also Happy anniversary toh! Wish i had art made but i aint got nothing at the moment :,) Taking things a little slower than i'd like but school is coming to an end and shits getting real)

[traegorn]

"the revolution aint coming" yes because of domesticated pets like you who stand in the way of our liberation. just because you like your cage doesn't mean you're any less of a prisoner. you would rather have brunch and fast food than freedom and that makes you the enemy.

you're not queer. you're a neutered loser and will be forgotten by history.

This is the most adorable, chicken shit response I've ever seen.

Do you know why I know you're a do nothing who's all talk? You're sending me this anon. Cowards like you will never put in the real work that can generate change. If you did, you wouldn't be sitting on tumblr sending things to people like me.

And also -- it's idiotic and shows a deep lack of reading comprehension. When I say "the revolution ain't coming," I'm talking about the supposed magical "revolution" I've heard performative do nothing pseudo-leftists talk about with reverence for decades. They talk about it like it's this inevitable thing while doing nothing to actually make it happen.

Did you not read the nine next words?

Where I said "There is no one to save us but us."

I am asking you to actually fucking do something. One of those things, the bare fucking minimum, is voting. Voting is not the final step, it's the first. But if you don't do it, you're not going to get the opportunity to take any further ones.

And people will die.

But as I said to another anon, you wouldn't have stomach for a real revolution even if it happened.

[mbbmz]

Heyyy!! I read your nsfw alphabet for Shinichiro and ngl i died halfway😭 (why aint he real😔) ANYWAY could you also do one for Wakasa? You write him so good <33

AHHHH HI AGAIN :D no but seriously why isn’t he real 😔 anyways you gonna be real sad soon bc Wakasa ain’t real either (it’s even worse ik)

Anywayyys like I said last time I love him so much so thx for requesting 🤭🤭

NSFW alphabet : Wakasa Imaushi

Anywayyys NSFW under the cut besties

Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

LOTS of cuddles. That’s the main thing after intimacy with him. I think this man loves physical contact and just lives for the way you fit in his arms. Will probably even run his hand in your hair and never utter a word.

You ain’t moving for a few minutes after he came bc he’s just not letting go. For the rest, it depends of the intensity of the activity. If he knows it has been rough for you, he’ll actually get up his ass if you ask him something. Otherwise I’m sorry baby bc you getting that glass of water yourself 😔

Body part : (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite part of his body is his arms, because they’re strong enough to keep you nice and spread for him <3 He loves to manhandle you, you can’t change my mind about this.

If you ask him what body part he liked the most about you, he will shamelessly and honestly reply your ass. Come on, you can’t tell me he isn’t an ass man. Probably check you out anytime and smack it when he feels like it.

Cum (anything to do with cum)

If he’s not wearing a condom, he would pretty much cum anywhere on your skin, just loves the sight of you coated in his load. It kinda depends of the position honestly (if he can, he will cum on your ass)

I also think he cums a lot (idk either just wanted to say it)

Dirty secret

Loves when you send him nudes, full or partial. Most of the time you’ll send them to initiate something before one of you comes home, but he keeps them to jerk off when he’s needy and you can’t take care of it.

Ain’t really a secret though bc like I said, this man is shameless and wouldn’t hide you anything you ask him.

Experience (How experienced are they?)

I like to think he’s pretty experienced. Probably had his share of hook ups, nothing really serious. He’s experienced and very skilled, can make your legs wobbles if he wants to

Favorite position

Spooning : Lazy sex with him is just SO obvious. I mean, imagine waking up to his face buried in your neck for behind. You’d hum curiously, before feeling his hardness poking at your ass. You’d understand the assignment and lift your leg slightly so he can slide in your warms walls. He would do slow and short movements, playing with your clit as he pants in your neck.

Reverse cow-girl : Like I said, he’s an ass man, so this position is just a must for him. It just turns him on so much. He would probably spread your cheeks to see his cock pumping in and out of your hole. If you’re embarrassed about it, it could be one of the rare times he praises you

Goofy (are they more serious in the moment or humorous?)

He’s always serious in the bedroom, you’ll never catch him crack a joke. However, he does enjoy teasing the shit out of you, but we’ll talk about that later

Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He probably trims regularly, just to keep a clean aspect. If you ask him to do more or less than what he’s doing he probably won’t, since he mostly does it for him.

Unfortunately no he doesn’t have purple down there 😔 but since he’s blond you can try and convince him to dye it (you won’t succeed but you can still try)

Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

I think he would be unknowingly romantic, would kiss you everywhere just to feel your skin under his mouth. Will suck and bite it, because he’s a little shit.

Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

I don’t think he jerks off really often. Most of the time you’re here to help him when he feels needy and when you’re not he doesn’t necessarily have the motivation to do it himself. In rare moments of intense neediness he’ll pull out his phone and open the secret folder he has with all your nudes and videos-

Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I don’t see him as very kinky tbh

- Semi public : Will have you sitting on the counter of your friend’s bathroom while his tongue eagerly lap at your folds. You’ll have to muffle your moans and when you do he’ll give you that lazy, mocking smile, silently teasing you for your sensitivity.

- Hair pulling : Both giving and receiving, will pull your hair while you give him a blowjob or ride him (in doggy style also). He also wants you to pull his hair when he’s eating you out, will let out the prettiest moans, sending vibrations on your pussy.

Location (Favorite places to do it)

Loves doing it in places you can get caught (as long as it’s at least a bit comfortable). A car for exemple or a friend’s place.

Your bed works really well too, it’s the most versatile things after all <3

Motivation (what gets them started and going)

I swear I SWEAR he just loves seeing you mad. You’d be in front rambling about anything, a frown on your face and he would barely listen to you, the only thought in his brain being to fuck the anger out of you. If you ask him if he’s even listening to you, he’ll just tell you that you’re hot when you’re mad and try to fluster you (it always works)

Even if he tells you he don’t like it when you move too much during sex, the glint in his eyes when he has to grab your wrists and pin them for you to stay still tells you otherwise.

NO (something they wouldn’t do/turn offs)

I think he wouldn’t want to try knife/blood play. The only times he sees blood is when he beats up someone so it just feels wrong for him to make you bleed.

Oral (Giving/receiving preferences, skills..)

Has INSANE eating out skills and I’ll never shut up about it. He just loves feeling you crumble under his tongue. He can’t get enough of your thighs squeezing him. Face sitting is also a big yes. Will probably ask you to put all your weight on him bc he can take it <3

Ofc will never refuse a blowjob from you (although it will turn into facefucking most of the time, only if you’re comfortable ofc)

Pace (are they more fast and rough or slow and sensual)

Listen, listen. How about slow AND rough? Slow and hard thrusts with him, wants you to feel every drag of his heavy cock in your walls.

Quickie (Do they enjoy it quick?)

Really likes foreplay so I don’t think he’ll be really into quickies, but if one of you (or the two of you) is really needy, he will indulge in it. Prefers taking his time though.

Risk (are they up to experiment, do they take risks etc…)

Yes. He’s up for experiment AND risk. Pretty much down to try a lot of things with you, as long as you agree. As I mentioned, he likes doing it in places you can get caught. He’s very versatile, just name something and you’ll get to try.

Stamina (How many rounds can they go)

I think he could go for 2-3 rounds and start to really tire at the third. Could probably go a bit more but most of the time too lazy to do so (you’ll have to give him some motivation :) )

Toy (Do they own toys? Using them on a partner or themselves?)

He’s a little shit. Did I say that? Probably has a bullet vibrator and tease you with it. He’ll start by pressing in on your nipples and stomach, which is not nearly enough, and will have you beg for it before he gently presses it on your swollen clit. Wont let you cum however, he can do that himself.

Unfair (How much do they like to tease)

Tease tease tease tease. I swear he’s so unfair sometimes. Also loves putting you in your place, so if you’re acting like a brat, have fun being edged again and again.

Volume (How loud are they?)

Pretty quiet actually. You can tell when he’s close because he’d let out quiet pants and curses, but it’s the most you’ll get.

Wild card (random headcanon)

One day, Takeomi walked in the two of you having sex on his bed during a small meeting with a few common friends. Didn’t even seem surprised for some reason, just left the room while telling you to get dressed and out of his room. Keeps a close eye on you when you’re at his place since.

X ray (Let’s see what going on under those clothes…)

6-7 inches probably, a bit thick I think. No curves, just straight. His tip is a light pink.

Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Pretty average. I’d say he’d be fine by doing it 1-2 times a week, maybe even a bit less. If you have a high sex drive however he’ll be happy to indulge in your needs.

ZZZ (How fast do they fall asleep afterwards)

Despite being lazy, probably stays awake for a bit, just to enjoy cuddling you. Will probably let you fall asleep before him so he can listen to your soft breaths (or snores, whatever). He’ll always cuddle you before going to sleep.

[silentmoths]

A lick and a promise

Its been *squints* Seven months since i cooked.

god damn its been seven whole ass months CRIES

Boothill got me so fkn good i cant even BEGIN to explain why he's such a comfort character for me ok he just IS.

Boothill x Reader (fem but it's really only mentioned in regards to anatomy.)

NSFW

Enemies to Lovers (kinda?), Smut, Hurt/comfort (kinda?), Oral sex, fingering, boothill is a gd kendoll (sorry boothill genatalia nation i just...wanted to write this like he was a ken doll LEAVE ME-)

7k words, NOT PROOFREAD

The first time you run into the Galaxy Ranger known as Boothill, you’re not sure what to make of him.

You were just an unsuspecting casualty, the pilot, nothing more. Flying ships for the IPC had to beat minimum wage, right? This was your first real gig with them, something a little more secure.

If you managed to make it off pier point without having a gun aimed at you that is.

A…cowboy. You’d heard about them, of course, but seeing one in this day and age was almost unheard of unless you travelled to planets far out in the west, ones untouched by the IPC and their ‘modernizations’.

Yet this cowboy also seemed to be touched by said modernizations, considering almost all of him was made of metal. Hell, all of him might be synthetic, nanotechnology was a terrifying thing, it could eat away the organic and replace it with the inorganic, mimicking skin and its blemishes, hair and all its different shades, like the curtain of black and white you see before you. 

“Han’s where I can fudgin’ see em.” He warns quietly, pistol pointed directly between your eyes. You do as he asks, why wouldn’t you? You weren’t being paid enough to put your life on the line for…whatever the hell you were carrying, you didn’t know, the IPC didn’t enforce ledger-checks- You tell the cowboy as much when he asks.

“Yeah that tracks.” he mutters with a roll of his visible eye. “Lookit’ you, still wet behind the darned ears.” 

“D-do I get a pardon i-if I told you it was my first day on the job?” you manage to squeak out, a terrible habit really, opening your mouth in times you should really stay silent…but the cowboy cracks a grin, a very sharp-toothed grin.

“Ah heck, really?” He chuckles, shaking his head as he spins his pistol in his hand and tucks it away into its holster. “Look I aint’ got no beef with ya. ya ‘ aint even wearin’ an IPC uniform-” “C-contract work.” You cut in with your explanation, only scolding yourself after the fact for, once again, interrupting the one with the gun. “The IPC really gettin that desperate, huh?” He snorts, his robotic fingers flexing as he himself goes to check the ledger, it was obvious he’d done this a few times…perhaps thats why the IPC had started hiring a third party, someone new for him to kill.

And yet he doesn’t kill you. 

He ties you up, sure, but he’s not an entire ass about it, he even apologises when he pulls the rope a little too tight and you squint.

“S’a formality.” He mumbles as he ties the knot tight “y’understand.”

“I guess…Just…thanks for not killing me I guess, Mr.Cowboy.” You shrug, perhaps you were still in a little bit of shock, perhaps you were coping with humour and ‘funny’ comments…perhaps, inside, you wanted to cry because of course of all the times to be held at gunpoint it was your first day working for the IPC.

“Name’s Boothill.” He corrects. Boothill, huh? You’d read about that…some eons old name for gunslinging cowboys who should have been dead. 

After you had been discovered, set free, and promptly fired, you decide to look up this ‘Boothill’ character; you find little other than his bounty…whoever he was, he kept himself pretty closed off…made sense for a galaxy ranger.

-

The second time you encounter Boothill, you’re working on a satellite array. It’s a shit job, it was freezing cold out here, and the welding masks given to you and your coworkers by your bosses were cheap, low quality, offering little protection from the welding torch and its bright, concentrated glare.

After your firing from pier point, no other freighting company was willing to take you on, and in a desperate attempt to get some damned food into your belly, you’d taken this job on some far out meteorite, repairing this shitty, run down satellite so the IPC could extend their reach further.

If the bosses had bothered to do a background check, they would have seen the unfortunate mark next to your name.

’Banned from all positions within IPC jurisdiction’ 

But considering the shit pay, shit hours, and shit accommodation? The old hand’s out here didn’t really care much for the ‘official’ rules; so long as you weren’t being actively hunted.

There was no sun out here, so every few hours there was a mandatory UV break, in which you all got to return to the little sleeping pods that were nothing but glorified transport containers with a wall sectioning off one third to make a bathroom; just to sit beneath a UV bulb. 

Whoever had lived in this one before you had stuck up a picture of a beach on the wall you had to stare at beneath the lamp, and faintly, you wonder if they ever made it there- or had they just keeled over dead from overwork? That seemed more likely, considering nothing had been cleaned out of your pod when you’d arrived. 

As you bask in your shitty, simulated sun, an explosion wracks the entire facility, sending you toppling to the floor as the world spins, cracks apart, opens like the gnashing teeth of some horrific space creature.

Was it a space creature? Had the meteorite collided with something it shouldn’t have? You didn’t want to find out, but you sure as fuck weren’t about to stay here and probably die once the oxygen field around the place sputtered out. The emergency guide tape’s you’d been forced to watch are nothing to help against the real thing, a real emergency. There are sirens blaring, the stark white light’s had all died, replaced by that infuriatingly anxiety inducing red as you struggle to put your space suit on. 

Just make it to a shuttle, they weren’t far, thats all you had to do.

It’s a mantra you tell yourself as the ceiling above you begins to crack and crumble, your time here was up. 

As you wrench open the door to your pod, you collide with someone. Considering you yourself looked like a glorified marshmallow in the emergency suit, you certainly weren't expecting the person you collided with to be as…hard as they were, solid like steel to the point you’re sent toppling back and unceremoniously onto your back, like a turtle.

A familiar pistol is pointed at your helmet.

No fucking way.

Boothill stands there, grin on his face and a gun in yours as he looks you up and down before howling with laughter. “Now what in the hay is that?” he wheezes as you struggle, only to stop when you push the visor of your helmet up, revealing a face he recalls. “No fudgin’ way-”

“You again!” You screech, flailing your limbs as you attempt to stand in this…ungainly suit. “What the fuck are you doing here now!?”

“I could ask you the same mother forkin’ question!” He barks back, yet despite it all, he withdraws the pistol and even shows some mercy, reaching down to pull you back onto your feet “the fork you doin here?” 

“Well, someone got me fired from my last job!” you snark at him “and now it looks like I'm out of another, what did you do!?” “Blew up tha’ satellite!” He chuckles as if he’d just won at an arcade game and not caused millions of credits in damages. You open your mouth to…you don’t even know- Shout? Scold a wanted criminal? Beg for mercy? When the world tilts again, the sound of rock cracking and metal creaking fills your senses; resulting in you simply screaming out of fear. 

This was it, this was where you died. On a rock, in the middle of space, blown to smithereens by a cowboy. Except, the cowboy reaches down, and for a moment you think he’s going to kill you, just to stop the screaming. Instead, he grabs your arm and yanks you upright without a word, tugging you along behind him like you weighed nothing in this stupid marshmallow safety suit. (perhaps, to a cyborg, you didn’t weigh anything.)

Boothill cares little for the smoke and the flames, and you are just a leaf in his wind, guided through it all with scary precision until there is suddenly nothing and you realise what he’d just done.

This fucking cowboy galaxy ranger had just leaped off of the edge of the meteorite, dragging you along with him. 

Correction; this is how you die, once you left the gravitational field, you’d just be stuck…floating in the void of space forever…no one would ever find your body-

Before your thought can finish, you crash into something hard, a ship, you realise, you had fallen into the open loading hatch of a ship, unlike boothill who landed on his feet, you’re simply a pile on the floor.

You hear the cowboy laugh as he turns to look at you, and you thank the fact that you’re face down from keeping your likely red, teary face from his scrutiny. 

“Y’alright down there?” He asks.

“Peachy.” you mutter back, your muscles ached, but the adrenaline was already beginning to wane, suddenly the suit felt…heavy, impossibly heavy as you listen to the sound of the ship’s hatch closing. “Why’d you save me?”

Boothill thinks on it for a moment. Why had he saved you? It wasn’t really his M.O, saving people, especially when they worked for the IPC…he supposes a part of him felt a little bad… you hadn’t been working for them directly last time…and because of his stunt, you’d lost that job and had resorted to working for them in this backwater shithole of an array. 

“Eh, Y’aint worth killin.” he responds after a moment “S’not like you’re the mother fudger I’m looking for anyways.” 

Something about the way he says it…stings. Not worth killing? 

Slowly you sit up, a terribly ungraceful affair in this stupid space suit as you pull the helmet off entirely and toss it to the floor, there was no point hiding the tears anymore. 

“Wh- hey now! What’s got in yer’ boot?” Boothill balks at your teary face “what’s tha’ matter?”

You hate how stupid you must look, crying, red in the face…embarrassing really. But after the scare you’d just had, you don’t have the forwithall to keep your composure anymore.

“Whats the matter?” you mutter, staring at the cold, metal floor of the ship “what’s the matter is that you have single handedly managed to lose me not one, but TWO JOBS!” 

You don’t mean to shout, really, you should be thanking him for saving your life. 

“I’m BANNED from working for the IPC!” you cry “I wasn’t even meant to be working here! But where else am I meant to go!? EVERY job is somehow overseen by some division of the IPC, I can’t work anywhere else! Now you say I’m not even worth killing!?”

Boothill stares, the gears turning as he simply takes the emotional vitriol thrown his way. It had been…a long time since he’d found himself faced with this kind of problem.

“Aw shirt…” he mutters, realising his words had only worsened the situation. He takes a knee, pulling his hat off as he watches, he sees the way you’re shaking, your fingers flexing; he might be ‘old fashioned’, but he could recognize a panic attack. “C’mere, let's get this great forkin marshmallow suit off ya.” 

You don’t even have the faculties to push him away as cold, robotic fingers begin tugging away at the velcro, the zippers and the straps. Breathing was getting harder, everything ached. Only once the galaxy ranger had pulled you free of the confines of that damned suit could you expand your chest properly. Too small, you realised, the suit you’d been given was way too small.

“Easy, easy, easy.” Boothill mutters as he sits you down “jus’ breathe.” 

Easy for him to say, did a cybernetic cowboy even need to breathe?

He could see the struggle, but what the hell was he meant to do about it? It wasn’t wrong..the IPC had their fingers in so many pies… finding a job untouched by them? That’s like finding a needle in a haystack. 

It wasn’t often Boothill felt…guilty. But somehow…you’d managed it.

“Aw c’mon, don’t gimme the waterworks.” he sighs “Look…ah’ll admit I forked up your job prospects, I’ll fudgin’ take that responsibility… will ya at least lemme see if I can help?”

“What can you do!?” You cry at him “If the IPC catches wind that I’ve somehow been caught up with you again-”

“Lemme take ya to a planet the IPC don’t care ‘bout.” He cuts in suddenly, an idea forming in his mind. “Been there plenty, they’re good folk, they’ll help ya.. Ya just…gotta trust me.” A planet untouched by the IPC? That seemed like a pipe dream…

“Impossible.” you mutter “any planet the IPC finds, it conquers.”

Boothill grins, that same toothy grin you remember from your first encounter with him. “I know, right? But this one? This one’s special.”

Eyama II was a small planet with little in the way of resources the IPC wanted or needed, a dwarf planet no less, nothing but a speck of dust floating through their air filters. It was a self-sufficient, homely type place…if he was being honest with himself, it’s where he would want to retire if he ever saw his goal through…living the simple life he used to know before the IPC had ripped it from him. 

He knows it’s not the most…elegant solution, but he knew some fine folk there, some fine folk who might just be willing to help the poor outcast he’d created. -

It’s a long trip. It had to be if it was out of the IPC’s gaze…but that did mean a long trip with Boothill.

In a tiny two person at most ship.

You didn’t really know what to expect, if he’d just tie you up and put you in the corner…but as it turns out…he’s somewhat hospitable… ok more than somewhat.

After you’d calmed enough to be reasoned with, he’d handed you a bottle of nondescript nature. Without much thinking, you’d taken a swig, eyes widening at the distinctly alcoholic taste. It wasn't anything strong like whiskey, but it was enough of a shock.

“Malt juice.” He clarifies as he takes a seat at the helm, setting the warp drive “figured it’d help calm ya nerves.” You blink down at the bottle before slowly taking another, more temperate sip.

It…wasn’t bad…actually it was pretty good. It burned your throat just enough to keep you in the present.

You both talk…small things, you ask him how he knew of this planet, and tells you about all the planets he’d visited that weren’t under the IPC’s thumb, how all of them were nice, simple places.

He tells you that he thinks you’d like Eymaya II, he thinks everyone would like Eymaya II. It had rolling hills and green valley’s. The people were mostly farmers, ranchers, common folk just going through the motions to get by, but not in the same nihilistic sort of way most did. Good, honest living, as he says.

Part of you wonders if there ever was a time this ranger worked a good honest life, if this whole…cowboy thing was a facade, or if it was real, remnants of a past he couldn’t return to. You’re not sure if it’s his conversation, the malt juice, or both, but you eventually begin to open up, about your home life, about your terrible habit of cutting into conversations when you were nervous, all of it. 

And when you begin to fall asleep? Your head nodding slowly where you sat, you feel a cold, metal hand rest on your shoulder.

“C’mon, you need ta’ rest.” He tells you, guiding you to the cot that looked seldom, if at all used.

For a wanted criminal who had put you out of two jobs and nearly killed you both times…he was surprisingly kind.

-

He wasn’t wrong about this planet. It was beautiful, the air was fresher than you could ever recall, living in the city.

Apparently, the look on your face says as much. Boothill chuckles, tilting his head softly as he watches you take it all in. “Told ya ye’d like it.” He hums, something in his mechanical chest whirring with..pride perhaps? Satisfaction? He wasn’t entirely sure, but seeing a face that, so far, all he’d seen from was fear and upset finally show…wonder…it felt good. He wanted to see it more, perhaps even a smile one day. 

He takes you to the inn, sets you up with Jodie, an elderly woman who had been around the block quite a few times, she didn’t put up with Boothill’s antics, more like…a curmudgeonly aunt at first as she barks at him for not calling in sooner, only for it all to melt away into an almost familial warmth as the cowboy explains himself, explains you.

“now child I know you did not lose this poor thing not one but TWO jobs!” She scolds, hands on her hips. 

There is a lick of satisfaction as you watch boothill shrink beneath the innkeeper’s rage. 

“Donchu’ worry hon, we’ll getcha set up here, somewhere this block for brains can’t accidentally getchu fired. Only thing that’ll do that around here is laziness…you aint lazy, are you?” she asks, turning to you and squinting her beady, aged eyes at you, making you stiffen up as well.

“N-no ma'am!” you bark instantly “I-I promise to work hard and earn my keep!”

This atleast, seems to settle her some, and before you know it, you have a hot meal and an ice cold drink in front of you, and you want to cry again.

You actually feel…somewhat sad when boothill has to leave…anxiety twisting in your gut… would you really be okay here? Would you survive? 

But he pats you on the shoulder and grins, and something about it is…comforting.

Something about it made you want to try.

-

It’s five years until you see Boothill again.

Jodie had grown too old to continue running the inn, and somehow, against all odds, it was you who had taken over. The entire place was yours, and you were happy. 

Not a day goes by where you don’t wonder how you ended up here, but then you recall, the enigmatic cyborg cowboy who had hijacked your ship, and then blown up a satellite array.

Somehow, your outlook on him had turned from disdain to…a strange sort of affection. The frigid anger had melted away, and what replaced it was a sense of…thankfullnes for what he’d done for you. Working here, away from the almost all-encompassing reach of the IPC had opened your eyes to just how…corporate everything felt, and how it so desperately wasn't you. 

It’s a late evening, you’re closing up for the night, the bar had emptied of all it’s usual late-staying regulars, and those who had rooms rented for the evening had already retired. 

You’re polishing a few glasses when the door swings open.

“Well now, there’s a face I ain’t seen in a forkin long time.” 

The voice is familiar, and has you turning, a small smile tugging at your lip. A mixture of feelings racing through your chest.

“Well well, come to let me collect your bounty, Sir?” you snicker, placing the glass you’d just polished beneath the malt juice tap to pour him a glass.

Boothill laughs, sauntering in with the swagger you remember as he drops into the stool closest to you. “How’ve you been, Boothill?” you ask him, setting the glass in front of him and waving away his credits. You owed him one drink, atleast, “what’ve you been up to?”

The galaxy ranger snorts, throwing some of his long hair over his shoulder “How long ya’ got there, sweetheart? S’gonna be a long story.”

“I own the place now, and we’re closed, so all the time in the world.” you hum, deciding to pour yourself a glass as well after locking the door. “Shoot, really? What happened to ol’ jodie?” He asks, voice tinged with legitimate concern as you drop into the barstool beside him.

“She’s fine, she’s fine..just old is all.” You assure him, finding a little comfort in the relief that washes over his features.

“Ah, fork don't scare a guy like that.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair “thought Jodie had up n’ left us.”

“Nah, she’s got a while on her yet.” you snort, taking a sip of your drink.

The conversations run long into the night, catching up, listening to the thing’s he’d done, places he’d seen…IPC operations he’d torn apart at the seams. He listens to you too, as you tell him about how things have been here, catching him up on anyone he asked about. It was like talking to an old friend. You weren't sure…what boothill was to you…a friend? An acquaintance? It was…complicated. 

More malt juice enters your systems, you ask if it actually has an affect on him.

“You know…being a cyborg and all..” you mumble, feeling a distinct warm dusting to your cheeks as the malt settles. 

Instead of responding with words, the galaxy ranger reaches out and takes your hand into his. He feels…

Warm.

“You tell me, darlin.” He chuckles after a moment, watching you though half-lidded eyes. You barely even notice, more curious about how the alcohol affected him. Without even thinking, you run your fingers along his exposed arm; you weren’t going crazy, he was warm, almost humanly so. 

Your fingers continue to wander without much thought until they brush along his jawline; the sudden transition from steel to skin is what finally snaps you out of your own thoughts, pulling back with a squeak.

“O-Oh aeons I’m sorry!” you fluster at his face, his eyes are wide and his mouth slightly ajar. “I-I got carried away I’m-”

His hand reaches out again, clasping yours and pulling it back towards his face as he rests his cheek into your palm.

“Don't.” He murmurs, softly, softer than you’d heard him before. “Keep goin…please.”

A realisation settles across your mind.

“You…you can’t feel most touch…can you?” 

He doesn't look you in the eye, but he does sigh, only burying closer to your warm palm, worn after years of working hard…but still human.

“S’not that I can’t feel…I can…but..s’mtimes it’s so forkin dull I might as well not…but..my face is…”

“One of the few places you can feel.” You finish the sentence for him, feeling a pang of sympathy. You didn’t know how long Boothill had been like this, but you could wager long enough that he was more desperate for a kind touch than he probably even realised.

“Yeh…” he mutters, his lips turning down into a frown “sorry…ah know it’s probably-”

“Shut up.” you mutter, turning to face him fully, your other hand coming to rest on the other cheek as you watch this man, this gunslinging galaxy ranger, falter. His eyes widen before he shuts them entirely, leaning into it, starved of this type of affection.

“F’ya don’t stop this bullshirt m’gonna think you might have some feelin’s for me, darlin’..”

You didn’t know if thats what it was…but you didn’t want to stop either, a part of you wanting to sate you own selfish curiosity…another part wanting to do this for him.

“It must be a lonely existence, living like you do.” the murmur leaves your lips before you even notice you’d spoken out loud, thumbs stroking over his cheek bones. Boothill stares at you in silence for a long moment, his gaze calculating, probing. 

“I thought ya’ hated my forkin guts…” He mutters.

“Perhaps once, for a little bit, I did.” You admit “But then you brought me here, and I’ve never been happier..”

A beat passes, then another, and another. Boothill stares at you, the feel of your hands on his face something he wasn’t ready to give up just yet.

And then he leans forward, lips crash together and the taste of Malt juice and perhaps a little bit of oil is on your tongue.

You don’t pull back, if anything, you lean into it shamelessly. 

Robotic hands grip your waist as your own finally shift from his face to wrap around his shoulders. At some point his hat goes flying off elsewhere, but neither of you care; too strung tight, too wound up to care.

His teeth are as sharp as they look, but he’s careful with them as he nips at your bottom lip, swiping his tongue over the little beat of blood he manages to draw.

“Shirt-” He mutters against your lips, his eyes shut tight, you can hear his inner mechanics whirring, like a mechanical heart about to rabbit from his chest “fudge, if you don’t stop me now darlin I’m gonna keep taking-”

“Then take.” you mutter back at him, tangling your hands into his surprisingly silky hair and yanking. “Take what you want.”

“Oh trust me, I would but..” Boothill’s growl trails off, and for a moment he looks…embarrassed. You can’t for the life of you figure out why until he steps closer, your knee brushing between his legs- oh.

“Flat as a forkin’ brass tack.” he mumbles. 

You’re not sure why, it might just be the curse of your horrible humour, but your attempt at not giggling only sets you off into laughter that you attempt to muffle into his shoulder.

“Ey, watchu laughin at?” you expect boothill to be…mad at your outburst, but you can hear the amusement in his voice, feel the tremble of his own laughter “t’aint funny.”

“It kinda is.” you snicker out, pulling back to look him in the face. He looks a little sheepish, but thankfully, mostly just amused. “It’s okay…we’ll figure something out..”

His toothy grin settles back into a dangerous little smirk as the moment passes again, the kind of smirk that makes your belly twist a little. “Oh yeah, I got some other tricks up my sleeves.” 

Without much more to say, you find yourself being lifted, thrown over the cowboy’s shoulder- as you open your mouth to say something, you’re interrupted with a harsh slap to your ass, resulting in nothing but a squeak.

“Where’s yer room?” He snickers as you glare at him. 

You consider not telling him, being a brat, but the charming smile he returns to you is… yeah it does something stupid that goes right to your crotch. 

“Upstairs…first door on the left.” you mutter, flustering at the way his grin widens. 

If you didn’t know better you’d almost describe Boothill as practically skipping up the stairs, the angle for you however was a little trepidatious, and you find yourself clinging to him for a little more stability, right up until he carefully tosses you down onto the plush of your bed, landing with a soft thud.

He’s back on you, and your hands are back on him without him needing to ask; you can see the relief it brings, the way his eyelids flutter and his brow pinches as your fingers glide across his cheek, down his chest and along his arms, still warm, you note…

His lips return too, his own hands untucking your shirt just to get under it, metal fingers gliding over the smooth of your belly, up the your sides as he groans into your mouth. You wonder how much he can actually feel, if it was still dull, or if the alcohol had heightened his mechanical touch sensors somehow. You didn’t care, he looked happy, legitimately happy, like a dog being scratched behind the ears as you indulge him. 

His lips move from yours and he begins to nip and taste elsewhere, his nose brushing against your own as he leans in, nuzzling at your cheek, nipping at your jaw, revelling in the little sounds of pleasure he pulls out of you, especially when his wandering hands wrap behind your back and find the clasp of your bra, it comes undone with a surprisingly expert tug and you moan softly at it. 

(Who could blame you? You’d been wearing the damn thing all day.) 

You wished there was something you could do for him, something to pleasure him like he was doing for you, but you forced yourself to be content with touching him, running your hands through his hair, scratching at his scalp and tugging at the soft strands; running your thumbs over his cheeks, tracing the shells of his ears.

Boothill however, seemed just as hellbent on touching you, but he had far more room to move, to explore, to play. 

Metal thumbs find your nipples, embarrassingly hard and sensitive after being trapped in the confines of your bra all day, and you moan as he rolls them both, back and forth in a slow, methodical rhythm that leaves your breath light, and your stomach twisting in knots. 

Pointed teeth find your throat, nibbling and worshipping every inch of skin they could catch. You’d have to wear a scarf tomorrow if he kept that up, lest the regulars at the bar notice the strange bruising… but you don’t stop him; you were all in on…whatever this was now. 

A metal hand pulls away long enough to pop the buttons on your shirt, leaving the plane of your torso open and exposed to his gaze, nothing short of hungry as he stares down at you. 

“Fudge…” he mutters, his voice husky “That’s a nice view…” 

“Tease.” you huff.

“Tease? Oh ah’ll show you tease.” He snickers, his mouth returning to your skin, working lower, biting at the junction of neck and shoulder, nibbling along your collarbone before the cowboy shifts further, his tongue darting out to lap at one nipple whilst a hand works the other.

You gasp and moan, a hand quickly coming to muffle your cries, cheeks alight with embarrassment at the sudden outburst. Boothill only chuckles, his eyes trained to your face as he lays, settling between your legs as he rests atop you to continue his work, but at least he doesnt pull your hand away, too engrossed on what he could feel opposed to what he could see and hear. 

He switches breasts while his free hand trails down, over the soft plane of your belly and to your belt, unbuckling it with ease and sending the strap of leather flying across the room before those fingers return, popping the button of your work jeans and dragging the fly down. You groan softly in appreciation at the relief it brings, only to feel those metal fingers working the waistband down.

Just what was he planning? you wonder internally as he gives your nipple one last, harsh suck before releasing it, making you keen beneath your hand. 

“Feelin good, darlin?” he whispers. He sure sounded like he was feeling good as he nuzzles against your skin, nipping at your stomach and trailing lower, hands gripping at your jeans, pulling them and your underwear away in one swoop, leaving you open, exposed, and embarrassingly wet. “Y’sure look it..” he adds with a low whistle “aint that a sight.”

“B-boothill-” You mumble, an attempt at closing your legs out of embarrassment only sandwiching his head betwixt your thighs. He grins at you; it’s such an endearingly handsome thing, it makes you feel like this wasn’t a first time thing between you both, like he knew you, like he was comfortable with you, which only added to the heat in your belly.

“Aw don’t go gettin all fudgin’ coy on me now.” he snickers “After all those drinks’ ya’ gave me downstairs, I’m still kinda thirsty.” 

His metal hands part your measly human thighs with shameful ease as he leans in close; you squeal when you feel his hot tongue lave down your inner thigh, warm breath so achingly close to your cunt it was maddening.

But it seemed Boothill was just as desperate as you were, his mouth attaching to your cunt after only a moment, taking in your squeal as his teeth gently roll your clit, the added danger only serving to make you wetter. 

“F-fuck! Boothill-!” you moan out, forsaking keeping yourself silent as your own hands scramble across the sheets, searching for something, anything to ground yourself as his tongue laps at your folds with fever; they eventually find and settle in his hair before giving it a tug.

Boothill groans, the sting is only arbitrary, but he loves it, he loves being able to feel something. The warm plush of your thighs around his ears, the heat of your cunt as he sucks on your clit, only made sweeter by your cries. He’d missed this, he’d missed this a lot..

“Y’aint seen nothin’ yet, darlin.” He growls low and loving against your thigh in the brief moment of reprieve he gives you. You stare down at him with hooded eyes,your knees already trembling from his vicious onslaught; he nips the soft, sensitive flesh of your thigh with a cheeky smirk, holding up a pair of fingers, watching your face as he slowly drags them through your wet folds, collecting your slick; you gulp. “Like a’ said, I got a few fun lil’ tricks up my sleeves.” His mouth returns, lapping and pulling you right back into the overwhelming, wonderful pleasure as a slick metal finger circles your entrance, slow, methodical, torturous. You nearly sob with relief when he finally presses the digit inside, the metal actually making it easier. He hums his approval at how easily his finger is sucked in, pumping it slowly in and out, in and out; taking things at his pace- perfect.

After a little while, you feel that finger beginning to probe, to prod and search for your G-spot, and before long he finds it, signalled by a loud gasp and a sharp tug at his hair, only pulling his mouth closer, his tongue working away at your clit like he wasn’t driving you absolutely mad with pleasure.

Once he’d found the spot, he retreats, slowly adding the second finger and beginning the cycle again, stretching you, filling you stupidly well; it was an absolute tragedy that he didn’t have a dick…at this point you were so stupidly horny, you would have climbed on top of him just for a chance to ride him.

(somewhere in the back of your mind, the saying ‘save a horse, ride a cowboy’ reverberates) 

As you’re right at the height, right at the edge, he suddenly stops, his fingers cease their movements and he pulls his head away, resting his chin on your naval as he stares up at you with such a stupidly loving look that it makes your heart twist; his chin was absolutely drenched in your slick, but he looked so very content.

But you weren’t.

“B-boothillllll-” you whimper, tugging at his hair again, why had he stopped!? Now of all times? You could feel his metal fingers pressed against your G-spot, but unmoving, they did little to pleasure you. You clench around them, but that too, yields little results.

“Sorry sweetheart, just wanted to see your face when I did it.” He chuckles, his smile twitching up in the corner.

“D-do whAT-” your question cuts off abruptly when the fingers inside you suddenly burst to life with vibrations, the strength of which you’d never experienced before. Your body coils and you nearly scream as he rams those fingers into your G-spot, stars exploding behind your eyes whilst pleasure cuts through your belly like glass. 

“That.” He hums, satisfied as he returns that sinful mouth of his to your clit, adding another layer of pleasure. His fingers were harsh and rough, crooking into your G-spot one second, and then splaying out the next, dragging rough and harsh against your walls; his tongue however was soft, gentle, slowly and carefully rolling circles around your poor little nub. You were going to go crazy, he was going to drive you insane and you were absolutely letting him. Your body reacts on its own, thighs squeezing hard around his head, spine arched upward; your hips prevented from bucking thanks to one of his arms, wrapped solidly around your thigh and holding you down to the sheets, forcing you to lay there and take it.

You knew the walls here were decently soundproof, but even you began to question if they could muffle out your cries, made worse when Boothill suddenly sits up, pulling you up along with him, practically folding you in half as he continues to feast on your pussy like he hadn’t eaten in centuries, his vibrating fingers plunging somehow deeper.

At first you struggle for air with the new position, your knees almost at your chest, but then he switches the angle of his fingers and aeons-, you didn’t think it could get worse than this. But the pleasure this new angle brings, it’s new, its terrifying and you don’t quite know how to articulate that to the galaxy ranger causing it all. Your hands scramble clawing and tugging at any part of him you could get ahold of, his name falling from your lips along with incoherent babble, desperation and worry all balling into one feeling you couldn’t describe as he continues to piston those fingers into you, hitting your G-spot with such accuracy, the flame in your gut turning from a high heat to a near-volcanic overload as you jerk and struggle.

The final straw is when you crack open an eye, catching sight of him, staring back at you with such…love, such unbridled affection.

You scream his name as you cum, harder than you’ve ever cum in your life. Your faintly feel yourself make an absolute mess of his face, arms, your back and the sheets below you as your world turns white.

–

A soft, damp cloth carefully rubbing over your skin slowly pulls you back into reality, rousing you from the soft and gauzy subspace of post-orgasmic bliss. You try to shift, to sit up…to…something- but a hand carefully manoeuvres you to lay back down on a thankfully, dry patch of sheets.

“Easy, darlin’” Boothill’s familiar southern drawl hushes you down “Nearly done.”

You crack an eye to find him carefully cleaning you off with said damp towel. Methodical but careful. You’re trembling from the exertion, but boothill looks absolutely fine, the bastard. 

In fact, he looks better than fine. A smile plastered on his stupid face as he works away, wiping sweat and other…fluids, off of you. 

When he was done with that, he wraps you in a clean sheet and lifts you, sitting you down on the trunk at the end of your bed, just so he could change the set you’d obliterated with your unexpectedly rough orgasm. You sit there, watching him, half asleep and pleasantly dozy before he pulls you back into bed, pulling you into his side. A glass of water is pressed against your lips as he encourages a few sips into you. 

You spend the night sleeping with him curled around you; the quiet whirr of his mechanical body providing a pleasing, soft white noise while hands stroke through your hair.

–

“Do you have to go so soon?” You ask as he reaches for his hat.

He’d been here a week, and it had been…for lack of a better word; wonderful. 

But all good things had to come to an end you supposed. The look on his face was enough to tell you what you didn’t want to hear.

“I gotta. I ain’t done yet.” He tells you quietly, despite this, he holds out a hand, a silent request for you to walk with him…the inn and the bar would be fine for a little while.

“I’d ask ya t’come with me, but that’d be the biggest forkin mistake I could ever make.” the cowboy admits. He wanted you to, he’d never felt so content as he had in this week, but bringing you meant putting you in danger…aeons know he’d done that enough already.

“Will you…at least come and visit me?” 

Boothill snorts as they meander their way towards his ship “O’course I will.”

“How often?”

“S’often as I forkin can.” 

You both stop beside the ship, it had a few more dings and dents than you remember, but it was still in surprisingly good condition.

“Well…” you mumble “at least you know you’ll always have a room at the inn while I still run it.”

“Y’mean yer’ room?” He snickers. “I forkin hope you intend on running the place as long as possible, I pulled in a good favor from jodie to get ya yer’ start ‘ere.”

You smile at him. Boothill thanks every aeon in existence that his cybernetic eyes had a camera function, so he could save that face and look back on it when he was drifting through the universe.

Slowly, he pulls his hat from his head, holding it to his chest as he leans down to press his lips to yours, one last time for the road.

“I’ll be back as soon and as often as I forkin can…y’hear?” He murmurs, you nod; fighting away the sting behind your eyes as you step back.

“I hear…and…Boothill?” you ask as he turns around to step onto his ship, looking at you over his shoulder. 

“Thank you.”

Taglist: @stygianoir @meimeimeirin @ainescribe @dustofthedailylife @rjssierjrie @crystalflygeo @angel-of-requiem @asoulsreverie @zomzomb1e @moraxsthrone @mysnowmanandmebaby @inlustris-is-slowly-dying @pvbbyb0y Want to be added to the list? shoot me an ask~

[two-white-butterflies]

archer | c16

Description: "All of my enemies started out friends, help me hold unto you." After a series of instagram posts - your ex-friend fabricates screenshots that almost end your career.

Author's Note: Inspired after listening to reputation.

natacha_ziguerra added to their story!

caption: y/n nation, this yo girl?

replies

ultraviolencekanada: CHAT, IS THIS REAL?

DARKLINGHOMIE23: She is messy

yourusername16: i never typed this thing before, tacha wtf ⁉️

yourusername16: ur broke ass got nothing to eat anymore? 💀

natacha_ziguerra: Ya'll may have seen my story and I just wanna let ya'll know that this girl has done so much worse... all the deets are in my patreon ... ya'll help a girl out. (Prices start at $5 Dollars.)

liked by 324,239 others

comments

yourusername16: what is this broke-ass behavior? boo i can pay for you and ur patreon, this isn't sum wattpad social media au bs.

yourusername16: trust, i will be in contact with my lawyers. - natacha_ziguerra: BABE you've been talking shit about so MANY popstars, Ari, Sza, Lehlani, Lana... you can call your lawyers but this aint slander because I'm telling the truth. ❤️ - yourusername16: @natacha_ziguerra 💀

yourusername16: your nemesis will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing. now he's passing by, rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky. camera credits to my baby: @Charles_Leclerc16

liked by danielricciardo and 1,293,012 others

comments

ohnoloveme3: YN IS OVER PARTY

righthere99: YN IS OVER 🐍

Charles_Leclerc16: I'm proud of you for being strong ❤️

danielricciardo: You are one of the strongest women that I know. - heidiberger: 💗 stay strong yn!

kellypiquet: True power comes from the truth. You can do this! ✨

Charles_Leclerc16: I will always support, love and respect you. ✨

liked by kellypiquet and 1,394,192 others

comments

maxverstappen1: ❤️

charlottehope8: Never believe posts that are evidently edited. Some people will use you for clout 💯

pierreGASLY: 💪🏽💗

yourusername16: Likewise, Mr. Leclerc

comments have been restricted.

TRENDING TOPICS ON TWITTER.

Y/NISOVERPARTY

YNSNEK

YNSNAKE

YN AND CHARLES

NATACHA ZIGUERRA PATREON

YNnation: Y/N has deactivated all of her social media account following the backlash. #YN #CHARLESLECLERC

liked by 82,391 others

comments

boodoyathang7: Imma keep streaming her songs idgaf

honeymoon: It saddens me that people in this modern age still believe in random BS from social media. Y/N is a close friend of mine, and she's never spoken about our peers in the disgusting way that her ex-friend illustrated. Furthermore, her ex-friend hid the evidence behind pay wall...and that says everything.

honeymoon: I will patiently wait until she returns to social media, but you heard it from me. These accusations are NOT real! And everyone who believed them should be ashamed of themselves. - lanadelcake3: SLAY QUEEN

(ONE YEAR LATER)

yourusername16: there will be no explanation, there will just be reputation. 🐍

liked by Charles_Leclerc16 and 4,832,192 others

comments

kellypiquet: I hit you like bang 💥

danielricciardo: I listened to it first 🙏🏻 - Charles_Leclerc16: 1/50 🤣

comments have been restricted.

yourusername16 with Charles_Leclerc16: This album will have zero promotion - only vibes. My single Queen of Disaster ft. Lana Del Rey will be out tonight - I'll show you more at midnight. ⏰💗💞

liked by kellypiquet and 8,291,029 others

kellypiquet: My favorite lyrics are: I'll be spinning like a ballerina 🩰 feeling gangster every time I see you. You're the King and baby I'm the Queen of Disaster. 💞

honeymoon: THIS WAS AMAZING!

taylorswift: 🥲 that's my baby

comments have been restricted.

Charles_Leclerc16: I'm proud of who you were, who you are, and who you will be. ❤️

liked by carlossainz55 and 1,282,192 others

comments

daeneryslove: This is real love

bello3chiao: FUCK ROMEO AND JULIET, I WANT WHAT THESE TWO BITCHES HAVE

spitme93: He's supported her throughout everything

honeymoon added to their story!

replies

yourusername16: aww thank you for the pic, lana 💗

TRENDING TOPICS ON TWITTER.

Y/N and Lana

Queen of Disaster

Reputation

Natacha Ziguerra Patreon

Y/N LECLERC

Y/N L/N TALKS ABOUT CANCEL CULTURE AND CYBERBULLYING.

Y/N L/N: I remember waking up - completely clueless as to why my phone was blowing up and apparently an ex-friend of mine decided to forge screenshots of me saying nasty things. And that opened up a realm of so much bullying.

Y/N L/N: I didn't love myself, I had a pretty low self esteem. While, the things that she shared weren't true - I thought that the critiques about my looks, my personality and my voice had some truth. When you don't love yourself, it's pretty easy to see your flaws.

Y/N L/N: My boyfriend, actually recommended that I take a social media break just to tune everything out. And that proved to be successful. I left the public eye for a year. I wasn't physically seen for more than a year and i't's been a wonderful journey of healing.

yourusername16: maybe reputation was the friends we made along the way...?

liked by charlottehope8 and 5,182,192 others

comments

Charles_Leclerc16: The Power of Friendship 👊🏼

charlottehope8: I love this picture

kellypiquet: We should be on the album cover. @maxverstappen1 @charlottehope8 - charlottehope8: Ditto 🤣

Charles_Leclerc16: My baby's fit like a daydream ☀️

liked by danielricciardo and 1,282,192 others

comments

yourusername16: Walking with his head down, I'm the one he's walking tooo....

comments have been restricted.

[jeansplaytoy]

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥

part two

conniexreader, playing with feelings (not readers), ex talks, cursing, alcohol, weed, aave usage, sexual references.

sorry that i took so long with this part y’alllll, and i know it’s honestly really short, it’s really a side chapter that i’m posting before all the good stuff happens.

⇦ part one here | part three here ⇨

you stared at connie from across the room. he was sitting in the kitchen again, and you were in the living room with mikasa and sasha now.

“they def’ fucked.” sasha whispered to mikasa as they both sat on different sides of you. mikasa nodded while staring back and forth from you and connie.

from the kitchen, ony did the same thing.

“bruh what is y’all doin, bro? y’all been staring at each other for bout five minutes.” ony glanced at connie from his phone. connie smacked his lips and looked down at his drink. “nothing.” he muttered while shaking his head.

“yall i hate that nigga.” you frowned, realizing that connie’s gaze had been off of you for a few seconds. “girl you say that about every dude that beat them doonies down real bad.” mikasa mumbled, leaning up to get her cup. “okay but i really hate that one. nigga took full control over me like i was his bitch or sum.”

“so you fucked him?” sasha muttered. you hummed. “he fucked me.”

“disgusting.” mikasa scoffed with a small smile before swallowing the rest of her drink.

you stared at the ground, shaking your head before looking at connie again, who looked at you after a seconds. he chuckled a little before standing up, putting his phone in his pocket while walking through the crowd, towards the front door.

“hold up.” you said before standing up and following him through the crowd. some seconds passed before you finally made it outside, instantly seeing him stand beside the door.

“you obsessed, huh?” he shook his head, putting a blunt to his lips and lighting it. you stood in front of him, not saying anything before rolling your eyes. “not wit’ you. who you think you is?” you tilted your head. connie laughed. “girl i’m connie fuckin’ springer. hoes love me.”

“well i ain’t no hoe, so ion love you.” you rolled your eyes. connie hummed. “oh, but you loved me an hour ago.” he said, tilting his head at you while exhaling smoke in your face, making you move your head to the side a little.

“i don’t like nothing about you. you prolly got hoes anyway.” you muttered. connie slowly smiled. “hell yeah. and i know you got some too, so we both equal, huh.”

“i guess so.” you exhaled, glancing over to the side. you saw a group of girls glaring at you and whispering things to each other. “i got yo hoes mad. forgive me if they don’t want you no more.” you said, smiling to yourself as they walked off.

“we aint together, i can have em back whenever. i saw some muh’fuckas lookin at me too. ian gon trip tho.” connie whispered the last part, passing you his blunt.

you grabbed it, putting it to your lips and inhaling deeply before exhaling through your nose.

“i see you stuck to me now.” he raised his eyebrows, putting his hands on his sweatpants pockets. you tilted your head, shaking it and staring at the ground, flicking the ash beside you. “not really. i just wanna see what you bout. is that a bad thing?” you raised your eyebrows, looking back up at connie, who just shrugged.

“nah, not completely.” connie mumbled. “i just wanna make sure you ain’t one of them hoes that go around fucking everybody.”

“so i’m a hoe to you, now?” you squint at him. “nahhh, no, ion mean it like that.” connie lazily laughed. “i mean, an actual hoe. im just tryna make sure you ain’t for everybody.” he admitted, making you purse your lips together. “and you ain’t? you talking to me like you tryna fuck wit me.”

“i fuck on girls when i feel like i’m gon like it, not when a girl feel like she like me. i really just be staying to myself most of the time.” he muttered.

before you could say something back, someone tapped your shoulder once. “excuse me.” a girl raised her eyebrow at you before wrapping her arms around connie’s neck. “heyyy, baby. what you doin here?” she tilted her head, completely ignoring your presence.

“excuse you.” you muttered, watching her. she glanced back at you for a second. “who she posed to be?” she pointed back at you with her thumb while looking up at connie with a slick look on her face.

“we was just talkin.” connie mumbled, patting her waist a little. when she got off of him, she looked back at you, once more. “i’ll see you at home tonight.” she smiled, softly squeezing his hand before walking off.

you watched her, looking her up and down. “so that’s the hoe you cheated on for me? and multiple other bitches?” you pointed at her, giving connie back his blunt as he sighed.

“we together, but we on and off. she just be doing that shit when she see me wit somebody else, don’t worry bout her.”

“i promise you i ain’t worried.” you scoffed before shaking your head, reaching towards the front door to open it. “wait, where you goin?” connie frowned. “home. this party lame as hell. and all i got tonight was some ran through, good dick.” you muttered to connie as he slowly smiled.

“you liked it.” he whispered to you. you bit your lip softly before shaking your head.

“for now.”