#ainsley-f

[lovepctions]

closed starter: @mcrlinn​​ muse: victor french prompt:  send   a   🎤    &   i'll   shuffle   my   music   &   use   the   lyrics   to   write   a   starter  . song: better on your own by kristiane

they laid together on the modular couch victor kept in his office for those late nights, his arm tucked underneath ainsley's head as he looked toward the ceiling, hand unoccupied stroking her hair. their relationship was unconventional, and some that people would frown upon, but he couldn't help but be drawn to the young brunette. it wasn't fair to her. "i think about it all the time, every second i'm alive, that i'd leave if you wanted me to."

[norrisjpg]

TASTE … ʟɴ⁴

in which, lando calls off his arrangement with his best friend for a new girl — but all he can think of is her.

contains: a little bit of angst, lando with another girl (brief smut), smut; dom!lando, brief sub!lando, body worship, oral (f + m), fingering, face-sitting, squirting, p in v, unprotected sex, mentions of anal; a bit of fluff at the end.

lando norris x female character (ella ainsley)

... pretty morning streams of sunlight beamed through lando norris’ apartment windows — illuminating the blonde hair splayed on the right side of his bed. white sheets were tangled between two warm bodies, one with pinkish-red scratch marks littered down his back, and the other with light brown bruises squeezed into her hips.

who, you ask? these were the almost entwined bodies of lando norris and his best friend, ella ainsley. well, they weren't just best friends, they were something a little more - best friends with benefits, or best friends who used each other to burn off a few calories and release some pent up sexual desperation.

however, arrangements like these hardly ever end well - and it was the same for the case of lando and ella.

"morning." ella murmured as she noticed lando intently gazing at her in the early beams of light.

"morning pretty girl." he rasped, voice a little croaky as his eyes fluttered open and closed a few times. "sleep well?"

"as always." she smiled groggily, letting her eyes naturally close for a few seconds, before her gaze fell back to the brit practically on top of her. "you?"

"always when i'm with you." he breathed out, staring at her for a moment or two, before pulling his gaze away from and rolling over.

lando got out of bed with a large stretch, muscles in his back contorting as his shoulders rolled back, ella's eyes fixated on him - he was so gorgeous.

"breakfast?" he questioned, raising his eyebrows as he rubbed his eye with his knuckles — stood there in his black boxers and nothing else.

“mhm.” she nodded sleepily with a small smile.

now, these two seem very cuddly and lovey — don’t they? ella thought so too, so the events of the following week severely surprised and hurt her - a lot.

“i’m calling it off.” lando said as they sat in his car. "going on a date tomorrow night, sorry.”

his tone was blunt but soft — like he didn’t care but he did? men were so confusing.

“oh.” she said simply, blinking at him. “okay.”

originally, ella thought his message had been one of those messages, telling her to get ready to be picked up by him, but clearly not.

“what’s her name?” she asked, glancing over at him as she fiddled with her fingers in her lap.

“um… luna.” he nodded, the air in the car having now grown extremely thick.

“oh, okay.” ella replied quietly. “i look forward to meeting her.”

…

of course she didn’t look forward to meeting her.

ella spent the rest of the evening in her apartment, wondering what this meant for their friendship. surely there was no way of coming back from this - lando had ruined her for anyone else.

there was no way that anyone could compare to him, in a lot of ways. she thought it was completely impossible for anyone to make her see literal constellations on her ceiling, for anyone to make her cry the tears of torturous pleasure, for anyone to make her so loud.

lando’s date went quite well, luna was polite and nice, and pretty too. the two went back to her apartment — lando never brought girls back to his apartment, in fear of media and paparazzi.

her apartment was nice, he felt lost though. her hand led him to her bedroom immediately — this all felt a little wrong.

usually, with ella, she’d come round to his place, they’d have dinner, watch a movie, and let it happen naturally — this whole straight away thing felt a little forced.

she didn’t even bother kissing him, instead she was straight onto her knees and working at his dress pants roughly. was it bad he missed the feeling of someone’s lips all over his jaw and neck and collarbone and chest and abs? how softly her hands would undo his belt or untie the strings of his joggers? how she’d suck dark hickeys on his v-line as she tugged his clothes to the floor?

he wasn’t even hard. like, there was a little bit of blood rushing south but nowhere near enough to make him useful to her.

well, he wasn’t hard until her lips wrapped around him and descended down. she didn’t even gag. usually, well before ella, he would have found that so hot — but ella had the worst gag reflex on the planet, but she’d keep going nonetheless — gazing up at him as tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

“mhm.” he hummed as her tongue brushed over the sensitive slit at the tip of his cock.

it wasn’t her fault that she didn’t know what he liked — so he couldn’t complain.

she must have been on that floor for the best part of fifteen minutes? he was getting closer to something, maybe stimulation or something but it most definitely wasn’t an orgasm.

“come here.” he mumbled, pulling her up to him, pushing her back on the bed.

they weren’t even naked, yet he quickly spread her legs and pulled her underwear to the side. after quickly rolling a condom over himself, he ran his cock through her folds a few times, not really bothering to make sure she was properly lubed up as he would do usually — before pushing in.

it didn’t take her long to cum, maybe a few minutes? still, he didn’t cum, nevertheless he pulled out with a fake moan, slipping the condom off of him quickly and tossing it in the bin near him.

“that was… incredible.” she panted out, sitting up. “are you going to stay the night?”

“um.” he pursed his lips — quick, think of a lie. “sorry, i can’t, got to be up early for a team meeting.”

a team meeting, really? in the middle of the summer break?

…

for ella, it wasn't now the fact that when she had sex she didn't cum, it was the fact that she couldn't cum, full stop.

she'd even enlisted the help of her ex-boyfriend, jack. it was easy, really, ella had messaged him saying she missed him and asked if he wanted to come over.

surprise, surprise, he was of no use to her.

so, when a new week rolled around, both parties were distraught. lando for being such an idiot and calling off the deal, ella for not being able to cum no matter how hard she tried.

she was adamant that tonight was the night.

ella had even gone out and treated herself to some new lingerie — the prettiest deep blue matching bra and underwear from victoria’s secret.

she had to admit, she looked hot.

her delicate fingers shamefully ran down her tummy, squeezing the skin gently as the others toyed with her nipples.

usually, by now, she’d be writhing underneath lando and begging him for more — but he wasn’t here and neither was the pleasure he’d bring with him.

she imagined it was his veiny hands travelling down her body like a well-trained explorer, paying attention to the dips of her hips and the small bump of her v-line. it did something momentary for her, heat flushing down her inner thighs, but it quickly died along her chest after rolling up her tummy.

"fuck." she groaned, and not in a good way.

ella was about to reach to her bedside cabinet for one of her helpers, when a frantic knock echoed through her apartment — who on earth was at her door at seven on a sunday evening?

sluggishly, ella crawled out of bed, grabbing her dressing gown and wrapping it around her body.

knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!

"god, okay, i'm coming." she huffed as she walked toward the door.

and there he was — the subject of her torture and her desires.

"la-"

hands frantically cupped her cheeks, pressing a needy kiss to her lips — okay, this definitely wasn't something that they usually did. nevertheless, she melted into the kiss, her hands travelling to the back of his head as he walked them forward and kicked the door shut behind him.

she pulled away reluctantly — "woah, woah, woah. what are you doing here? i thought you called the deal off?"

"i did, i missed you." he nodded, going to lean in desperately again, but he was stopped by her index finger on his lips.

"what the fuck are you doing then?" ella raised her eyebrows, waiting for an answer from the brit.

"i like you, like a lot, ells." he blurted out. "like more than best friends."

what. the. fuck.

"huh." was all she could muster, blinking rapidly up at him.

"i mean if you don't feel the same i'll leave and we can—"

"no, no — just say it again so i know i'm not going insane." she shook her head, reassuring him that he wasn't about to be kicked out.

"ella ainsley, i like you, a lot."

"wow." her mouth hung slightly agape, and with a laugh, she continued, "oh! sorry, i like you too, so much."

"thank god." he breathed out, a small chuckle leaving his lips. "come here, pretty girl."

lando stepped forward and picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist — she thought she could have actually cum from the action alone.

"be my girlfriend, please?"

"well, since you asked so nicely," she smiled with a blush. "yes, i will be your girlfriend, lando norris."

"good, 'cause i wasn't going to give you a choice anyway." he laughed softly, pressing another gentle peck to her lips as he navigated his way to her bedroom.

she rolled her eyes with a giggle, adjusting her arms around his neck as he walked through the doorway and toward her double bed. lando put her down on her feet, quickly undoing the bow at the front of her dressing gown — expecting her to be in pyjamas underneath or something.

his jaw hit the floor along with the robe — she looked fucking divine.

"fucking hell." he breathed out with a low groan, drinking in her body under the lace set — blue always was one of his favourite colours. "jesus ells."

"you like it?" she asked, the most innocent look in her eyes.

"fucking love it." he rasped, gently shoving her back onto the bed and taking his shirt off immediately. "look gorgeous."

an adorable blush spread across her features and a smile painted itself across her lips.

immediately, he leant down and pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses to her neck, trailing down to her chest — tapping her side and mumbling, "up," prompting her to arch up her back so he could undo her bra.

lando expertly unclasped the mechanism and slid the material off of her body, tossing it to the side. soft moans left her lips as he attached his lips to one of her nipples, swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud. two of his fingers travelled up to her mouth, tapping at her lips softly so he could slide his digits in.

she welcomed them warmly, sucking on them softly as he pressed them against her tongue. lando then quickly pulled them out with a low groan, and brought said fingers down to her other nipple, pinching and softly rolling it in between his fingers.

"please." ella whined as heat fizzed and bubbled all over her body.

"hm, what was that?" lando teased, looking directly up at her with a small smirk.

"lando.." she groaned with a small laugh. "just get on with it."

"how romantic." he joked, letting his now free hand travel down to her abdomen.

he hooked his fingers under the waistband of her underwear and pulled it up, letting it snap back against her tummy. lando watched the dazed look in her eyes as he shuffled downward, letting his lips press soft kisses on her stomach along the way — before latching his teeth onto her panties and slowly pulling them down.

god, he was a sight for sore eyes.

lando quickly then pulled them off the rest of the way, and spread her legs wide open before him. ella thought she had ascended to heaven when he gently let his spit find its way to her pussy, lubing her to no end.

he was merciless, giving her no warning at all before his tongue was aggressively flicking at her clit and two of his thick fingers were stuffed deep inside of her, finding that spongey spot that drove her wild.

"lando... fuck." she moaned loudly, trying to close her legs around his head, but failing when they fell weak upon feeling his spare hand pressing down on her lower stomach. "god... yes!"

he murmured something incoherently hot into her folds, the vibrations causing the magic knot in her stomach to coil nice and tight.

it was like heaven on earth. his lips sucked at her clit messily and the most lewd sounds were emerging from her due to her wetness and lando's extra lube — god, he loved it.

"lan—" she whimpered, she fucking whimpered; lando could have died in her pussy a happy man right there and then.

her mind flashed with warm colours, like warning lights in a factory — something was different about how he felt, and it was sending her barrelling toward her first orgasm of the evening.

"fuck, ells." lando groaned into her when her hand needily grabbed at his hair, running her nails through his mullet — she was definitely a mullet fan now.

"god — so close." ella whined so desperately, so loudly.

lando knew what made her tick — always had, always would. so, it was natural for him when he gently squeezed her clit between his teeth and scissored his fingers apart just that little bit harder — and it was no surprise to him when she fucking fluttered around him, her inner walls shaking violently as she came all over his fingers.

he pulled them out quickly, replacing his fingers with his tongue so he could taste the remnants of her ecstasy — so fucking sweet.

"taste so good, baby." he mumbled as he licked a stripe up her cunt.

her hips bucked away from his mouth, but his arms held her firmly downward — "hey, let me taste you, ells."

"too much." she breathed out, not really meaning it, but she felt so sensitive right now it was insane. "let me make you feel good, yeah?"

the words coming from her mouth made lando's head shoot up and look at her from between her thighs — "don't worry about me, darling."

"no, no." she shook her head. "i want to — missed your cock in my mouth." ella felt strange saying such lewd things but she could tell it was definitely turning lando on.

"oh yeah?" he teased. "missed me in your mouth?"

"yeah, always turns me on." she nodded quickly, sitting up. "on the bed, lan."

lando, for once, did as he was told. he sat on the bed as she got to her knees as quickly as possible.

he was wearing these baggy blue jeans with a basic black belt — ella's favourite pair because they were so easy to undo, even when she had nails on.

she undid the buckle and unbuttoned the jeans, before yanking them down his legs and let them pool at his ankles — too eager to throw them to the side.

ella took his cock in her hand, tracing her finger up the prominent vein on the underside of his shaft, earning a shudder from the driver above her. on the other hand, ella also knew what made lando tick, she knew he was a sucker for eye contact, that he would melt when she praised him, and the slit of his cock and his tip? she was sure she could get him to come without even touching any other part of him.

after sliding the pad of her thumb over his sensitive tip, and making his hips stutter up into her hand, ella got to work. as soon as her lips wrapped around his tip, lando's hand had gathered her hair back into a makeshift ponytail and was tightly holding it. she always did this, and it never failed — as if it was a routine; tease him by sucking on his tip for a little, then kiss his cock all over while muttering praises to him, and then literally go to fucking town on him while gazing up at him with pretty doe eyes — worked every fucking time.

so that's what she did.

"fucking hell, ells." lando moaned lowly as her tongue swirled around his tip, swiping over his slit every now and again.

she kept going until he was whining and whimpering, bucking his hips away from oversensitivity even though he hadn't cum yet. she then leant down and ran her tongue from the base to tip, before leaving messy lip gloss stains up his cock.

"good boy." she praised softly as he whined out, biting his lower lip and tossing his head back. "such a pretty boy."

"god—" he whimpered loudly. "fucking hell, baby, don't stop."

she pretended as if she was going to keep going, sticking her tongue out to lick him again, before quickly lifting her head up and sinking him slowly into her mouth.

her gag reflex kicked in around halfway down his cock, her throat convulsing and fluttering around him as he hit her tonsils — but she didn't care. tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as she began to bob her head, fast.

"god...” lando groaned, head tossed back and hand gripping her hair so tightly as he began to thrust softly up into her mouth. "ella..."

it was so good he couldn't even look at her — he knew that if he looked at the angel between his legs then he was a dead man.

and boy was he right.

a brief look at the woman on her knees with her mouth wrapped around his aching cock was enough to make him spiral — a guttural groan left his lips and his hips bucked up into her mouth, the feeling of his tip hitting the back of her throat making thick ropes of hot cum spill into her mouth, coating her tonsils generously.

"fuck, ells." lando panted heavily, wiping a small bit of his release off of the side of her mouth — before pushing it into her mouth again.

he went soft for a few seconds, but the sight of her getting up and sitting on his lap? that made all the blood rush straight back to his cock, aching and twitching.

"no, no." he tutted.

with his strength alone, he lifted her from his lap and laid himself down on the bed, putting her down on his face. ella almost yelped at the feeling of his nose pressing against her clit, her hips lifting off of him immediately.

"sensitive, baby?" he teased, hands squeezing her ass firmly — earning a quick nod. "what a shame."

lando's hands stayed planted firmly on her ass cheeks, kneeding them softly as he pulled her back down onto his face. his nose pressed against her clit as his tongue slipped inside of her, swirling around her walls — her thighs clenched around his head harshly.

slowly but surely, the sensitivity faded to overwhelming pleasure, and ella began to grind her hips back and fourth, whiny, airy moans leaving her lips every time her clit was poked by his nose.

"fuck—" she moaned loudly, frantically searching for purchase with her hands, finally finding home in his hair. "lando... yes—"

it was when her thighs began to clench and shake, when her walls began to flutter around his tongue, when her hands grabbed extra hard at his hair, when her moans turned airy and high-pitched — he knew.

the feeling of his nose grinding against her clit sent her over the edge, combined with his conveniently long tongue pressing against her g-spot — she was well and truly gone.

“yeah — right there. fuck!”

lando didn’t let up at all, if anything, his efforts doubled. his nose dug into her clit, sending her flying over the edge. the warm liquid gushed out of her, coating his lips and nose and cheeks and chin — he relished the moment like it was his last alive. her legs trembled and shook like a fucking earthquake, his nose now tapping against her sensitive spots as she bucked her hips from oversensitivity.

"god—" ella panted out, lando moving her back onto his lap, before then flipping her over so her perfect ass was high up in the air for him.

he could see her pretty entrance clenching and relaxing, fluttering in the harsh aftershocks of her orgasm — drawing him in.

"gonna let me have this one day, aren't you, pretty girl?" lando cooed, his voice soft but raspy, with his thumb toying with the untouched hole enticing him — anal was something he'd always wanted to try with ella, and ella only.

"yeah — uh huh." she babbled, her hips voluntarily pushing back toward him, now feeling incredibly empty without him stuffed deep inside of her, one way or another. "please."

"give me a second, baby." he rasped, leaning over to her bedside cabinet to grab a condom — only for her hand to swat his away.

"no, want to feel you properly." ella whined. "need to."

"are you sure, ells?" lando asked quietly — they'd never had sex without a condom before.

"i'm sure." she replied, looking back at him, blinking at the driver in anticipation.

lando actually thought he could have died right there and then, her begging was driving him insane. "okay." he panted out.

he softly presses forward, running the tip of his aching cock through her folds — his member pressing against her clit briefly. lando groaned out at the feeling of his sensitive tip sliding inside of her, feeling whole and complete and at home inside her.

no time was wasted, he was pumping in and out of her almost immediately, tapping her g-spot delicately to taunt her.

she whined and whimpered and writhed underneath him, moaning incoherently as he fucked her senseless. her hips pushed back against him to meet his steady thrusts - he immediately knew that meant she wanted it harder, but not faster.

lando quickly altered the angle at which he was pushing forward at, and he could straight away tell that was what she needed. his thick cock was now slamming against her g-spot, and it made him even more determined to ruin her. a veiny hand reached between her legs, flicking effortlessly at her clit, her hips jolting and legs buckling as his thumb circled it quickly. he wanted to make her fall apart.

not that he could see it, but tears were streaming down her face, moans turning needier and more carnal as he started to whimper louder than he was previously.

"touch yourself, baby." he commanded, voice sultry and low.

her hand made its way to her dripping pussy, rubbing shapes and patterns on her clit, as lando's hand occupied itself with pressing down on her lower stomach.

one particularly deep thrust made her collapse, ella's lower body begging to be released, but the singular hand lando had placed on her stomach kept her up, doubling the size of the knot in her tummy in the process.

his name fell from her lips like a fucking prayer, rolling off of her tongue with such ease it might as well have been an everyday item - mixed with whines of 'right there' and 'don't stop, please.'

and fall apart she did.

another one of those impossibly deep thrusts sent her spiralling, tears streaming, throat raw, pussy clenching like her life depended on it. her whole body tensed and relaxed all at the same time, walls constricting around him, fluttering and shaking and squeezing so intensely lando though he was actually going to die.

he didn't die, but he did cum - hard. hot, thick liquid shot out of his tip, filling her up so much it began to leak out of her, dripping down her inner thighs as her legs shook harshly. he kept thrusting though his own orgasm, somehow, causing the familiar clear liquid to gush from her sensitive pussy and coat his balls, her legs, the once clean sheets - if he could take a photo, he would.

he pulled out as slowly as he could, very much aware of the fact that she would be sore after that entire ordeal. she winced softly, but lando just gazed down at her puckered hole, screaming and red, fluttering and unsure of what to do with itself without him stuffed inside.

"you okay, baby?" lando asked softly, rolling her onto her back gently.

"fuck- yeah... god." she babbled, breathless and heaving slightly.

he laughed airly, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. he headed to the bathroom, and she closed her eyes. the next thing ella knew, a warm flannel was being pressed in between her legs, and her hips were involuntarily bucking away from the pressure.

"hey, hey, stay still, okay?" he quietly cooed, rubbing her inner thigh lovingly. "can you do that for me?"

an unsure hum left her lips, and after a few attempts, her body began to settle and lando continued to clean her up, wiping the remnants of their mixed release off of her body, and then afterward he scurried back off to the bathroom to do the same for himself.

lando returned again a few minutes later, holding a change of clothes and a glass of water for her - having now gotten dressed into some spare clothes he kept at her apartment.

"ells?" he murmured as he sat down next to her splayed out body on the bed. "i've got you some clothes, if you want them?"

she nodded, lifting her arms up into the air so she could put her arms through the t-shirt. she never let him dress her afterward, she must have been really out of it.

lando laughed fondly, helping the girl dress before assisting her into bed, tucking her in before crawling in next to her. it was natural for her to roll into his arms, and when she did, lando naturally pulled her in closer, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek.

"night, lan." she mumbled.

"goodnight, love."

[bloofinntoona]

Operation Saving Sallow

Word Count: 2.4 k

Themes: fluffy fluff fluff, Sebastian Sallow x f!reader, featuring the lovely friends you made along the HL games

Summary: A girl gave Seb candies laced with love potion. You were rightfully jealous. Your friends were there to help you solve the case.

A splash of water hit your face, small drops of water dripped down onto the sink, echoing through the empty bathroom. The old cloudy mirror in front you showed the absolute sorry state that you were currently in – hair tied up in a messy ponytail, lips chapped from the lack of hydration, the ends of your school robe muddy from being dragged through your journey around the highland. You smacked your cheeks a couple times, causing the skin to break into a rose-colored hue. It was a trick you read in a beauty book your mom owned back in London. Biting your lips, you wished it would somewhat create a red tint, hoping it would make your face appear livelier. Two students barged through the door, pulling you away from your thoughts. Shaking your head, you made your way to the Divination class.

You didn’t care about your appearance before, to be quite honest. Often times you ran around the school with gears that you found in a treasure chest somewhere deep in caves. There were nobody to impress anyway, you found prioritizing about your defensive capabilities benefited you more anyways. Things did slowly change when you took an interest to the infamous Sebastian Sallow. You thought of him as friends at first. He was an outgoing person and a notorious flirt, so you didn’t think much about the brunette. However, the constant owls you receive -- noting invitations to explore the forest and mines, Sebastian showing you the Undercroft where no one else other than Ominis knew, and going so far as introducing you to Anne, you couldn’t help but think that there were something quite special between the two of you. “I like when you put your hair up,” he said once during your study period in the library. From that point onward, you took a little bit of time in a morning to tie your hair, either in a ponytail or a bun.

Sitting down on one of the chairs in the Divination Classroom, you stared at the circular glass in front of you. A slew of students shuffled into the classroom, one of them is the popular Ravenclaw student, Emma Ainsley. Emma was probably the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen in the school, soft long blonde hair naturally swayed behind her, cute button nose, and a pair of beautiful deep-blue eyes. She was holding a boy’s hand, and it was none other than Sebastian. They were giggling about something, the students stared at them, whispering gossips and snickering to each other. You blankly stared at the orb in front of you, wishing that the glass would absorb you in and let you disappear.

“Well, that is not a sight you expect.” Natty took the seat next to you, setting her books down.

“Y/N, you look pale. Are you alright?” said Poppy, also taking her seat on the other side. Natty stared at the Hufflepuff, widening her eyes. Poppy shrugged and offered you a Chocolate Frog. “Do you want one?”

You flashed a weak smile before glancing at Sebastian again, now sitting together next to Emma. Merlin, You were convinced someone switched places with the boy overnight. The first thing that he would do before class started was to greet you, teasing you about missing assignments. You swore you never saw him talk to Emma before. It’s obvious that a boy his age most likely would develop a crush on someone, but you rightfully were taken aback when he confessed his infatuation with the Ravenclaw. Maybe, deep down, you wished you were in her position instead.

You let out a huge sigh, cueing Poppy to give you a tender pat on your back.

Lunchtime was not particularly appetizing that day. You toyed with the food on your plate, occasionally picking the grilled chicken and popping a bite in your mouth.

“That is it, I will press even if you don’t want to talk about it.” Natty faced you, arms crossed in front of her, “I cannot stand seeing you mope around the entire day.”

“We all know it’s Sebastian, right?” Poppy chimed in, taking a swing of pumpkin juice.

You covered your face with your hands, not wanting to see your friends concerned gaze. You sighed, again. You admitted, “Yes, it is Sebastian. I am at my wit’s end, I have no idea what happened and out of nowhere he is head over heal in love with Emma!” You quickly added, “It’s not like I’m jealous or anything… I just wished he would tell me before making a move on someone. I thought I’m one of his closest friend!”

“Oh, trust me, I’m lost too.” You heard a male voice behind you. Quickly, you whipped your head around to find Ominis looming over. The point of his wand glowing red.

“Ominis!” you exclaimed, “I thought you’d know something about this!” You scootched over, guiding the blonde boy to sit down next to you.

“Honestly, he woke up and all he talks about is Emma this, Emma that. I swear I was this close from pushing him out from the window.” He huffed.

“But that doesn’t make any sense,” Natty’s eyebrows twisted in confusion, “You can’t just love someone out of nowhere.”

The group was startled when they heard footsteps closing in in front of them. It was the man of the hour, Sebastian, with Emma clutching his arm. “Hey, this a good day, isn’t it? Shall we take a walk to Hogsmead later?” He grins. “But Sebbie, you promised that we would go together!” Emma pursued her lips and clinged on him harder. You had to muster your whole strength to not cringe from the scene in front of you, while Ominis visibly gagged from the scene. “Sorry mates, we’ll hang out later, yeah? I need to accompany my dear Em-em.” He cheered as they took a spot at the far side of the room.

“I think I ought to be sick.” You banged your head to the table.

“Count me in too. Just tell me when and I will gladly smack them both with my broom.” Imelda Reyes chimed in. Imelda and Samantha Dale popped in and joined the table. Samantha added, “But I think I know what happened.”

The group hurdled together, lowering their voices.

“Poppy and Ominis, do you remember what we brew during the potion class couple days ago?” Samantha questioned, eyeing her two classmates.

You could sense a lightbulb turned on in Ominis’ mind, “Amortentia!” he shouted, immediately being shushed by Natty, “The love potion! That’s it! I remember I saw chocolate candy wrappings on his bedside table last night.”

“Ohoho, seems like our own so-called Slytherin finest is getting the poisoned!” Imelda cracked out a cheeky snicker.

You let out a relived sigh. By this point, your feelings had beaten your rational thoughts. Yes, you were beyond jealous to see another girl putting her hands all over Sebastian. And yes, you had taken a keen interest in Sebastian Sallow. You’d hate to admit it, but you can feel the whole group knew about it already – judging by the way they immediately shot you coy smiles.

“Now you don’t have to worry again, my friend.” Natty giggled, wrapping her arm around your shoulder, hugging you close.

“W-worry about what?” You blinked, a nervous smile plastered on your face.

“All right now, we’ll deal with this together.” uttered Samantha, “We got your back, Y/N.”

“Okay team, the rundown of Operation Saving Sebastian as follows,” Imelda proudly proclaimed as Ominis groaned, earning a smack from the girl, “Ominis and I will find the candy wrapper and report it to Professor Sharp. Samantha and Poppy will distract Emma away from Sebastian. Natty and Y/N, you will ask Sebastian for a duel and knock him out.”

“Do we really need to knock him out?” you questioned.

“Well, it does say on my notes that a good night sleep is the best way to significantly reduce the potion’s effects…” Samantha shrugged, followed by the team. You felt bad, it’s like the group collectively agreed that Sebastian’s a bit of a knobhead.

You heard Samantha and Poppy were able to convince Emma that they need to tend the mooncalves after the Magical Beast Class. Poppy did earlier rambled on about how one of thee female mooncalves was pregnant and need extra care.

Both you and Natty found Sebastian sitting in front of the fountain at the Transfiguration courtyard, smiling while looking at the sun. You heard him muttering about how the sky was as bright as Emma’s eyes. “Hey there, Sebastian.” You approached the love-stricken boy, “I’d thought it’s been a while since we went on a duel. Care to indulge me and Natty?”

“Well, I was waiting for Emma, but a duel does sound enticing.” He nodded as he followed the two girls. You mentally facepalmed – even a love potion didn’t stop this boy from his obsession with duelling challenges. Natty also gave you a look, this is the boy you have a crush on?

Lucan, as usual, was elated that Sebastian, Natty, and you were up for a duel. After all, the three students were the top of the club. It didn’t take long until a small crowd of students gathered around the duelling courtyard. You stood next to Natty, as Sebastian took his stance at the opposite side.

“Too scared to face me alone, eh?” He taunted, starting the duel with a basic cast aimed to you. You rolled your eyes and casted Protego and Stupefy followed after. Sebastian dodged the spell before being lifted up by Natty’s Levioso. You casted another rounds of basic casts before he dropped down, immediately casting a Depulso to Natty, pushing her back.

“I wished Emma can see me win!” Sebastian shouted.

That was it, the nail on the coffin. You swore you would take this lightly, “Just knock him out a bit.” You heard Samantha’s voice in your head. Yet, this whole day was frustrating enough for you. Using your ancient magic prowess, you lifted a small box and hurled it to Sebastian, hitting it against his head. The crowd went oooh! as Sebastian was rendered unconscious, comically slamming his body down on the floor, limbs sprawled everywhere.

Lucan immediately rushed to the Slytherin boy, “The winners are Natty and Y/N!” he shouted, “… and somebody should bring Seb to the hospital wing!”

“We’ll do it, Lucan, thank you.” You shuffled closer to the body on the floor, hoisting him on your shoulder. Natty joined you in a jiffy, grabbing Sebastian’s other arm around her shoulders.

“You didn’t need to go that far!” Natty whispered, although you saw her fighting a smile.

“That’s what he get for breaking my heart.” You both laughed as you travelled to the hospital wing.

You laid down Sebastian on an empty cot, explaining to the nurse that it was a duelling mishap. The nurse shook her head and mumbled about getting us a detention. You couldn’t care less, at least now the plan is almost done.

“Sebbie! What have these two brutes done to you?” You and Natty tensed as you heard Emma burst through the doors, running towards Sebastian, “Oh my dear, I am here for you!”

Emma looked at you. If looks could kill, you’d be dead by now. “Why are you here? Move aside, I’m his girlfriend!”

You stuttered, “W-well, I’m his… friend.” You felt very stupid right now.

Just before Emma could utter other word, you heard several footsteps approaching the cot. Professor Sharp stood over the cot, presenting the candy wrapper to Emma. “Care to explain what this is?” He questioned. Ominis, Imelda, Samantha, and Poppy followed after, curious about how the story unfolded, you’d wager.

“I-it’s, uh.. I-“ Emma jumbled her words, trying to salvage the situation she was in.

“Save it, Ms. Ainsley, I shall see you in detention this evening. I shall also deduct some points from Ravenclaw.” Professor Sharp shook his head, “I’m very disappointed in you.” Emma ran out of the hospital, wailing.

Suddenly, you felt a hand squeezed yours. Sebastian groaned loudly, blinking a few times in confusion. “Why is everyone here?” He looked around, “Why am I in the hospital wing? Did something happen? Ouch!” The boy yelped as he felt a tender spot on his forehead. You shrugged and gave him an apologetic look.

“Mr. Sallow, do you recognize this?” Professor Sharp placed the candy wrapper on Sebastian hands. The brunette inspected it and muttered, “Yes, Emma Ainsley gave some candies. Said she got extra from Hogsmead. I remember they tasted weird though…”

Everybody was silent as Sebastian glanced over the candy, and then to Professor Sharp. “Oh,” the wires in his head were now connected, “was it laced with Amortentia?”

“Ten points for Slytherin.” Professor Sharp said sarcastically, “ I can’t believe I should tell you fifth years to not eat candies from strangers,” he sighed, “although, I suppose getting one unconscious is the best way to minimize the effects, yet I don’t see the need to bruise the person.”

“Sorry…” you squeezed Sebastian’s hand back.

“Well, I shall leave you all to it.” said the Professor as he walked away from the room.

“You owe us!” Imelda laughed -- The group collectively nodded.

“I think the true lovebirds need some time alone, I’d say.” Natty voiced her friends’ thoughts. They giggled, leaving Sebastian and you alone. You flashed a smile to the group, making a mental note to treat them butterbeer sometime in the future.

You grabbed a hot towel next to the cot, pressing it against Sebastian’s forehead. He winced, “Care to explain this?”

“Natty and I bested you on a duel and… I accidentally used my ancient magic, hitting you with a box?” you grinned, “I’m sorry, I was taken over by my emotions.”

“Emotions?” Sebastian smirked, “What do you mean?”

Your face was as red as a tomato at this point, “Nothing, forget about it!” you were about to get up before he held onto your robes.

“You injured me, I think you owe me an explanation still.” He smiled widely, probably enjoyed seeing you flustered like this.

You bit your lower lip, murmuring, “Do you actually have special feelings for Emma?”

Sebastian faked a gasp, “Perhaps I sense a jealousy?” You glared at him, earning a laugh from the boy, “No, I do not have feelings for her.”

You looked away, lips forming a huge smile. The two sat there for a while, hands intertwined. Sebastian’s thumb stroking your fingers. “So..” he broke the silence, “I believe a compensation is in order for bruising my head.”

You sighed as you leaned forward, planting a gentle kiss on the red spot. You guess Sebastian wasn’t expecting it, seeing how red his face became.

Maybe the days ahead wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[couldawouldashoulda50]

Never Been Kissed - Part Three - Matthew Knies

Below is part three of my entry for @cellythefloshie's birthday BINGO, featuring Matthew Knies. Again, my 5 tropes (Virginity, Age Gap, Secret Lovers, Meet Cute, Pining) are spread across the 3 parts.

In case you missed it - linking Part One and Two

Warnings/Notes - general smut (p in v), allusions to smut (both m and f oral), swearing. For anyone who read the first two parts, I did adjust the OC's age slightly. I hadn't received any feedback, but after some more research to get a grasp of overall public opinion on age differences in dating, I did change Lana's age slightly.

Celly - I hope you had the most amazing birthday....you are truly one of my favourite writers on here so it makes me happy to try and do something for you. I hope you have enjoyed this journey with Matthew Knies -- I have really enjoyed writing him.

Word Count - 6.7k

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With the promise of their lunchtime rendezvous solidified, the pair went off in their separate directions—Lana heading into the office and Matthew to his condo and then to the gym.

Lana's casual attire—flowy linen pants and a t-shirt—was a clear signal that she did not plan to remain in the office for long. When Ainsley walked in and saw Lana's outfit, with her hair swept up in a loose bun, she knew something was up.

Ainsley approached Lana's office and softly knocked on her door. "Lana… are you okay?"

Lana noticed the concern on her assistant's face and tried to sound reassuring as she fibbed. "I'm fine, but something's not agreeing with me. Since it's slow today, I think I'll take the rest of the day off and deal with this at home."

"Is it like food poisoning or something?"

Lana wanted to tie up the line of questioning quickly and just get the hell out of there. "No—but let's just say my stomach isn't thanking me for the hot dog I had at the ball game yesterday."

"You ate a hot dog? Were you drunk or something? You never eat stuff like that…"

"Yeah, well, now I remember why." Lana rubbed her stomach for extra effect as Ainsley winced in a show of sympathy. "Anyway, call me if there are any issues. Looks like it might be a slow week anyway with the long weekend coming up. A nice relaxed week would be nice before the craziness of September hits."

Ainsley nodded and wished Lana well, telling her to go home and rest before the forecasted downpour begins. Lana felt a twinge of guilt for being untruthful to her assistant, but in this case, the less Ainsley knew, the better. Besides, Lana was aware that Ainsley had veered off the path of truth and accuracy on more than a few occasions.

Although it wasn't because of the hot dog, drinks, or anything else she had eaten the day before, Lana's stomach felt like it was turned upside down. Nervous energy swirled within her as she returned home with a few grocery items and one box of condoms that she painstakingly selected. After seeing so many brands, sizes, sensations, and everything else under the sun in the family planning section of the store, in a panicked state, she called Jason. Lana decided calling her brother would be awkward, and other friends might pry too much, so Jason became her unlikely condom consultant—a role he embraced with surprising enthusiasm.

Lana guesstimated that Matthew might return by about 11:30, so she had time for some personal care. With underarms, bikini line, and legs as smooth as silk, she slathered her favorite lotion from her neck all the way to her polished toes.

She dressed in a simple white t-shirt and loose-fitting pants and went about assembling fresh flatbread pizzas, salad, and some sweet but healthy options for dessert. Lana had no clue what hockey players ate while training, so she was forced to wing it to the best of her ability.

Meanwhile, across the city, Matthew smirked and shook his head as he evaded questions about his recent whereabouts from a few of his teammates, as he quickly packed up to leave the gym. Joe wasn't among those who kept pestering Matthew to come out with them after their session, but being one of his closest friends, he knew something was up with his buddy.

As Matthew smiled and bee-lined it to the door, giving a rather hurried wave to those around him, Joe quickly gathered his things, grabbed his bag, and bolted after him.

"Matty—hold up a sec…" Joe hollered as he ran to catch up to Matthew at the door. With a few long strides, Joe was next to him walking out into the parking lot. Joe chuckled at the determined expression on his good pal's face. "Hot date? Where're you heading off to in such a rush?"

Matthew decided to stretch and manipulate the truth as best as he could. Lying wasn't his forte. "I have an appointment with the realtor—just some things to, uh, you know… finish up—I guess…," his voice trailing off.

"How about we go out to that ping-pong bar tonight—y'know, get some of the boys and get some challenges going?"

Distracted by the rumble of thunder in the distance, Matthew fidgeted, shifting his backpack from one shoulder to the other. "Uh—yeah, maybe… I'm not sure just yet… let me do what I planned to do and I'll let you know after I get a nap in."

Given his recent mood shifts and the fact he'd been a bit of a ghost for the past couple of weeks, Joe had all but expected Matthew to decline. "Yeah? OK… yeah, man… sounds good… shoot me a text then and we'll figure it out."

Matthew hurriedly threw his bag in the backseat of his vehicle, quickly blurted a "I'll message ya later" towards Joe, and promptly sped off, leaving his good friend even more puzzled than before.

As Matthew eased along Dundas Street West, he thought solely about Lana. He knew he might be too young to even have this notion, but he had never known a woman like her. He scoffed at himself, acknowledging how much of a cliché it was to even think the thought. Falling for a bona fide woman—a stunning, successful, electrifying woman—is what Matthew realized he craved. Girls his age were fun, vibrant, and awesome to hang out with, but the influx of women who'd emerged this past season had provided Matthew with a clearer picture of what he didn't want.

Matthew realized he was licking his lips incessantly as the nervousness began to build when he turned onto Lana's street. Drops of rain began to spatter onto his windshield, filling him with anticipation of the hours ahead. Unless something drastic had changed, he would be making love to Lana sooner rather than later, and this time, he was prepared.

Using the garage pass Lana provided him with that morning, he parked his vehicle beside Lana's in the underground lot and used the elevator that stopped directly in her place. Lana knew he had arrived even before the elevator doors had opened, having spotted him on the security monitor in her kitchen. How the sight of him walking across the lot to the elevators felt bizarrely familiar, Lana would never know. It felt as though he was meant to be there all along.

Matthew's face lit up as Lana came to greet him. She was about to ask him how everything went, but Matthew's mouth was already on hers, muffling her words. She couldn't help but smile and chuckle into his kiss before Matthew's kiss became a little more hungry and his grip around her more needful. She closed her eyes and offered everything she had within her to him.

Matthew began to walk them upstairs to her bedroom, but the sight of the prepared lunch stopped him in his tracks.

He looked at Lana bashfully. "Oh—man, everything looks incredible—sorry, I didn't mean to just come in hot like that… I just couldn't help it. We can eat—I don't want anything to spoil."

With a newfound confidence, Lana spoke as she kissed him. "None of it's gone into the oven yet—so… it can wait… if you had something else in mind…," Lana said softly between kisses, followed by a wink.

That's all the invitation Matthew needed. Within minutes, the two found themselves naked in bed, hands and mouths exploring in tandem, drawing out the most erotic sounds from each other.

The now torrential downpour added a glorious backdrop of white noise which accompanied the sweet, suggestive murmurs spoken against each other's warm flesh.

The condom conversation eventually occurred, and they couldn't stop laughing when they discovered the new bounty of latex sheaths that each had brought.

Lana was ready for Matthew, but nervousness continued to twist in her stomach. She bit her lip and tried to catch her breath as she watched Matthew carefully roll the condom down his firmly erect shaft. Like the day before, she fixated on every detail of his cock, and she felt a greater need for him blossom within her.

Matthew's hips pressed against hers as he leaned over and kissed her deeply. She raked her fingers through the longer strands of hair towards the base of his neck before her palms descended across his shoulders and along the ridges of his back muscles.

Lana spoke near his ear. "I think I'm ready, Matthew. Can we try now?"

Matthew nestled his face in the crook of her neck and responded "Yes" while softly kissing along her throat.

He positioned his cock at her entrance, rubbing the tip through her inner pussy lips. Slowly, he guided the head of his cock into her entrance as he gently pushed the full tip inside of her.

Matthew was careful and studied Lana's expressions and movements after she encouraged him to keep going deeper. She moaned and gripped his rock-hard forearms as he gently pumped his hips, allowing more of his shaft to slide inside her.

Matthew's full length was inside of Lana. Their gaze trailed from each other down to watch his cock enter and stroke her inner walls. Matthew noticed Lana start to relax as her initial discomfort began to dissipate. Her eyes fluttered closed, her mouth fell open, and her head lolled to the side as her hands roamed along all of his well-sculpted muscle groups. He gently worked his thumb around her clit, using the same technique that had brought her such bliss the night before. Steadily, Matthew continued his fluid motions, gliding in and out while he carefully caressed her highly sensitive bud, only stopping to wet his thumb, tasting her on his tongue.

Try as he might to prolong it, Matthew was getting close. He threw his head back, grunting loudly as he pumped Lana a little more quickly. When he heard her moan his name, he stretched out on top of her while her hands grasped onto his ass. Lana cried out and held onto Matthew's body as he tried to maintain his rhythm, but she just felt so good. Matthew gasped out that he was going to cum and gripped the pillow on either side of her head, flexing his muscles as his body spasmed and twitched with his release.

He remained on top of and inside Lana for a moment, breathing heavily, knowing how incredible he felt but unsure about Lana. But when their eyes connected, they shared a moment that was full of awe and amazement as their rapid breathing slowed.

For Lana, she had no expectations of what her first time would be like. She knew there would be discomfort and it wasn't going to look like the glorified Hollywood sex scenes she had seen in movies. But Matthew made losing her virginity feel natural, beautiful, and more enjoyable with his attentiveness and care.

The rain continued steadily into the early afternoon, but the dreariness outside was a perfect recipe for some relaxation, which Lana realized she had been lacking. Barely clothed, the two brought the flatbread creations back to bed and only stayed upright long enough to eat and drink. They kissed, chatted, and laughed while their hands feathered over each other's bodies. As they lay together, she learned about some of Matthew's physical scars, and he learned about the more emotional ones from Lana's childhood.

Eventually, Matthew enveloped Lana in his arms and held her tightly as he settled in for a nap. To Lana, a midday nap was unheard of; however, not long after Matthew's rumbling snores filled the room, Lana's eyes grew heavy, and she nodded off to sleep as well.

She awoke hours later to Matthew's mouth kissing her shoulder and his arm reaching over her to grab his phone. She smiled, hearing him groan and yawn beside her. She could hear him swiping and tapping the screen as she remained still with her back facing him.

Lana stirred slightly to signal she was awake. The typing on the screen ceased, and Matthew promptly set his cell aside. His hands then roamed her body, fondling everything within reach.

"Do you have anything going tonight? Or is it okay if I hang out here? I hope you're not sick of me yet," Matthew said.

She visualized his smile, one she found so disarming that she'd immediately cancel her plans, if she had any.

Lana kissed along Matthew's arm. "No, I have no plans… if you would like to, I would love to have you stay." She shifted her body, turning to face him. "So, you have nothing going on? I thought you boys would be constantly out on the town during this last stretch of summer," Lana said with a grin as she ran the back of her fingers down his cheek.

Matthew had just sent a message to Joe cancelling their potential plans for that evening. He knew he had begun to raise some questions in Joe's mind—questions that he would need to address at some point. But how could he when he really had no idea himself about what he and Lana were—or weren't?

"My buddy—Joe Woll—not sure if you know him?"

Lana nodded her head that she did.

"We had talked about getting together tonight with some of the guys that are in town now. But I just cancelled—I sort of wanted to stay here… hang out some more with you." Matthew seemed a little sheepish, now that he actually heard how the words sounded out loud.

Lana's brows furrowed with Matthew's admission. "Matthew—I hope you didn't feel like you had to stay… I know you have a life too—I'm not looking to get in the way of that."

"I know… I'm just not ready to leave this little space that we're in right now." Matthew's voice trailed off and then he chuckled. "I really like being with you and I want to do so much more of this… like, the last couple of days—getting to know so much more about you—I just—fuck—I think you're amazing…." Matthew's cheeks flushed at his confession, uncertain of whether Lana felt an ounce of what he had been feeling. "I hate asking this but, do you feel the same about me? Sort of like—do you have a picture of what we are… or could be? Maybe I shouldn't even be asking this…."

Lana looked up at Matthew, her expression warm and soft and full of affection for him. It boggled her mind that the soon-to-be 22-year-old would ever consider a relationship with someone well beyond his years.

"I'd like to continue this—whatever 'this' is... spending time together. I'm not sure of the proper label. Dating? Seeing each other?" Lana nestled closer to Matthew's chest, her fingers tracing patterns on his skin. She paused, then added softly, "But there's something I can't quite grasp."

Matthew shifted to get a better view of her face. He hadn't anticipated Lana's question and had to bite his tongue, allowing her to finish before he spoke.

"Why me? I'm not meaning to sound like I'm putting myself down, but I have tried to consider a few angles—you've got this incredible career ahead of you. You could have your pick of women—women more your age. Young women—models, athletes, whomever—that you can start your young lives together," Lana paused, gathering her thoughts. "I'm just… worried… I have lived my twenties. I'm in a whole other decade than you. And please don't get me wrong, when we're together, I rarely think about our age gap. You're so mature, intelligent, articulate, thoughtful..." She punctuated each compliment with a soft kiss on his chest. Then, worry clouded her face. "But don't you ever worry—if we were to start a relationship—that your family, your friends might feel I'm too old for you? You might even feel that way at some point down the road. I've seen all sorts of relationships with athletes, but this—this with me and you is something entirely different—"

Matthew interjected, shaking his head. "God—no. I know there's still so much we have to figure out about each other, but this being different is exactly what I want. I know I might seem too eager with wanting to spend as much time with you as I can—maybe I come across as immature... but it's because ever since we met, I never want our conversations—our time together—to end. It's like the biggest no-brainer I've ever had. So no—I don't think about whether there's a difference in age… I don't feel anything like that. I just can't ignore how great I feel when we're together."

Lana listened closely to Matthew's words, trying to uncover any red flags in how he viewed her. This didn't appear to be a ruse or him looking for a mother-figure, or anything else of that nature.

"Lana—look, I've been on the other side of things with my past girlfriends, even more than once—when everything becomes an argument, when even the simplest things seem hard, and being around them feels like a chore or an obligation. Fuck, I wasn't even looking to start dating—meeting you took me out at the knees and every single time we were together… you just—you brought out the best of me—and I think I did that for you too. So... if you're willing to give me a shot, I'm all in."

Lana's mind, once again, instinctively drifted into her natural mode of calculating risk. She could certainly see risks with Matthew, not just solely from his age, but questioning whether it was emotion or logic driving his feelings for her. She was in her own struggle between using logic or emotion, which was proving easier said than done.

But as Lana ran her hands down his broad chest, she agreed with him in her mind. He brought out the lighter parts of her personality, and she liked it. "I'd like to try. Take things day by day… spend what time we can with each other. I'm not looking to rush anything, and until we're both comfortable, I would prefer to keep this totally private. Does that sound okay?"

Matthew thought for a moment, reminding himself he had to be patient—this was her first relationship and she was understandably cautious. Matthew lifted her chin and kissed her gently while saying "Absolutely."

The rain subsided just before dinnertime. The two hadn't ventured much beyond the bedroom, and Lana fully and completely reveled in their lazy day together. Matthew's mouth explored more of Lana, and she, in turn, fueled by her fascination and internal drive, gave him her very first blow job. She thoroughly enjoyed the act, but it was the praise she received which made her positively giddy inside.

In Lana's mind, there could never be a comparison for the day she just spent with Matthew. He eased her comfortably into a whirlwind of changes and new experiences. Nothing felt overwhelming. It all just felt exactly as it should be.

In the days leading up to the Friday before Labor Day, Lana and Matthew managed to deftly arrange their respective schedules to maximize their newly sacred alone time. Knowing that Lana would remain up north for two weeks from Labor Day, Matthew pulled out all the stops, with romantic gestures and all-out wooing her before she departed for Muskoka Friday morning.

First, the bouquet of 11 long-stemmed white roses and 11 chocolate-dipped strawberries that arrived the following day. Ainsley delivered the gifts to Lana's office just as she exited the conference room, bidding farewell to her new client. Lana stifled a smile when she saw Ainsley's puzzled expression. She knew her assistant was bursting at the seams to ask the million questions she surely had bouncing in her mind. Lana glided over to her desk, marveling at the perfectly formed rosebuds, blushing as she removed the sealed envelope attached to one of the stems, and another on the box of strawberries.

"LANA—oh my god, it's killing me… who sent you roses and strawberries? Please… I won't tell anyone… please—are you seeing someone?"

Ainsley did not know about Lana's personal history. Although Lana had a good relationship with her assistant, it was after careful observation once Ainsley was hired that Lana saw Ainsley might be a touch too comfortable in sharing the private matters of others.

Lana fibbed. "Just a thank-you from Aryne Tavares for helping Matthew. I'm just going to call her now—I'll stop by your desk afterwards so we can go over some things while I'm away."

Ainsley recognized Lana wasn't eager to dive into a personal chat and quietly closed her office door, stopping to gossip with another sales rep in the break room.

Lana double-checked the door was closed before she opened the first envelope. The card read:

"11 is my new favorite number."

Lana wasn't sure of the reference right away, but it soon dawned on her. Their difference in age.

She chuckled and shook her head, grinning widely as she opened the second envelope.

"Better than beet juice. You can share these at the office—there will be more later."

Lana pressed the card against her heart. There will be more later echoed in her mind.

And there was more.

After Lana sent Matthew a quick thank-you note, they swiftly made plans to meet as soon as she arrived home from the office.

Just as Lana returned home, Matthew arrived at her door with two more bouquets of 11 long-stem roses—one red bouquet and one yellow, as he wasn't sure which color she liked the most.

Matthew also brought a second box of strawberries, dipped in rich Belgian chocolate, which had a dual purpose.

The strawberries, which were later placed on Lana's bare torso, would serve as edible foreplay.

After the delectable appetizer, the sustenance it provided fueled the pair for a marathon in bed. The freedom of knowing they wanted to try for a future together proved to be a powerful aphrodisiac.

Night had fallen, and Lana lay across her bed, breathless. Her skin still rosy and flushed, covered in a light sheen of sweat as she watched Matthew return from the bathroom. He crawled onto the bed, placing kisses over her naked body as she lazily ran her hands through his hair and down his back.

Lana mused that she could get used to this.

___

The Saturday of the Labor Day weekend was picture perfect. Bright and sunny skies, with every shade of blue on display in every direction. Lake Rosseau was still for the moment, the surface of the water would rival the smoothest glass.

Lana and Andrew's shared lakefront home was already buzzing with activity. Their Labor Day shindig was one of the area's most popular get-togethers, as the brother-sister duo were known for their warmth, hospitality, and delicious offerings from local food and drink venues. Lana and Andrew had long ago decided to take turns organizing the annual event. After Lana threw one of their most revered parties the previous year, Andrew and Jason were determined to outdo her this time. This friendly sibling rivalry to host the better get-together likely made their end-of-summer event one of the most sought-after invitations around Port Carling.

Andrew spotted Lana stealing a few moments alone on the south-facing deck of a sitting area. He handed her an espresso, which she hadn't asked for but deeply appreciated.

"Just got a message from Aryne Tavares," Andrew said. "She already RSVP'd for her and John, but it sounds like they have a few guests staying at their cottage. She wondered if we could accommodate some extra mouths to feed. What do you think?" Andrew maintained a straight face until he saw Lana trying not to smile, as she quickly guessed who one of the "extra mouths" might be.

"Drew, this is all yours," she replied, feigning innocence. "If your numbers say yes, then there's your answer."

"Aryne mentioned one of their guest's names is Matthew Knies. Ring any bells?" Andrew teased.

"You're such a donkey sometimes, Drew. Total jackass." Lana scoffed and bumped against him.

"I actually cannot wait to meet him. See the guy that's lifted all of that shit off your shoulders that our mother laid on you. Did you know he was up for the weekend?"

"He messaged me that he was staying with John and a few teammates for the weekend. Said he hoped that he could stop by for a bit."

“Well, once we’re all cleaned up here after the party, Jason and I are going on a little road trip, so your two weeks alone will be starting tomorrow. Although, the alone thing…maybe not so much anymore, eh?”

Lana chuckled and shrugged her shoulders.

“Sound carries like crazy up here but the glass doors are sound proof - I recommend keeping them closed if you and Matthew are - you know…”

“Jesus Andrew - will you stop?” Lana laughed.

“I forgot to mention - well done too….Jason and I were watching some press conferences… he sure looks like he’s got stamina. Built like a brick shithouse, as they say….”

“Fuck - I’m outta here���you’re too much…”

Lana stood up but stopped to wrap her arms around her brother. “I love you, Drew.”

“Love you to sis. I’m happy for you. Jason and I both are.”

—

Matthew spotted Lana first. Her naturally wavy hair flitted in the breeze with the ends brushing the small of her back. She absolutely took his breath away. She looked happy, relaxed, and incredibly beautiful as the light wind off the lake swept her hair to the side.

The man Lana was speaking to was no less beautiful, and Matthew had to get his bearings and calm his mind before he approached her. It was difficult not to react to the knot in his stomach given how close Lana seemed to be with the unknown man, who appeared athletic, tanned, and pretty much perfect.

Aryne, John, Joe Woll and Fraser Minten (otherwise knowns as Mints), signaled to Matthew that they were heading to get a drink and waved for him to join them. When Matthew indicated he’d be there in a minute, barely taking his eyes off Lana, Joe - in a flash - pieced it together of why his good friend had been so distant since he first started his search for a new place to live.

Joe watched from afar as Lana sensed a presence behind her. She turned around to see Matthew's face, and her own lit up, with bashful adoring smile. Lana approached Matthew and introduced him to the man she had been standing with.

"Matthew Knies—this is Jason Morin, my brother's partner. Jason, this is Matthew."

Jason shook Matthew's hand. "Great to meet you. I'm a really big fan of yours - and the team. Hoping for an amazing season ahead for you guys."

Matthew’s eyes widened once he realized he had misinterpreted the situation. “Oh - Jason - wow, awesome to meet you too. Yeah, it’s going to be an exciting season I think.”

The three chatted for a few minutes before Aryne, John, and the rest of their group made their way over to greet them. Hugs and handshakes and introductions were made and the group fell into mostly a comfortable exchange.

Eventually Lana ushered Aryne back into the grand main cottage - Aryne had her eye on some fixtures and dressings throughout the main room and Lana was glad to give her the details of the designer.

John and Fraser wanted to go explore the massive boathouse and the multi-dock/deck system, leaving Matthew and Joe with their Corona beers. They did a quick cheers and silently surveyed the southern view from the main deck at the back of the cottage.

Joe broke the silence but didn’t turn his head from the view. “Amazing spot.”

“Sure is.”

Joe smirked knowingly. He could tell Matthew was aware that Joe's keen "spidey senses" had picked up on something.

“Lana seems nice. Oh - right - she’s the one that helped you find your new place?”

Matthew fought against wanting to smile. “Yep.”

Joe bided his time and took another sip from his bottle. “Yep. Seems really nice.”

Matthew tried to fight it off but he broke in to a laugh. “Fuck dude - just ask what you want to ask or say what you want to say man - might as well get it over with.”

Joe teased his buddy. “You better work on not cracking under pressure like that - jeez, I was barely egging you on…”

Matthew rolled his eyes and scoffed. “So? What do you wanna know?”

Joe shrugged. “Anything you’re willing to divulge….”

“Well….. Lana and I are seeing each other.” Matthew exhaled deeply without even realizing he’d been holding his breath.

Joe’s eyes smiled for his friend. “Good for you, man - that’s great…”

Matthew nodded and looked around at the groups of party goers that had congregated near the bar. “She wants to keep it private - she’s worried that my family and friends are going to think she’s too old for me.”

“Ahhh - yeah, I get it.” Joe knew Matthew’s family would just want him to be happy but he certainly saw Lana’s point. “How old is she?”

“32. So just over 10 years difference.”

“Shit, that’s not bad at all. You’re 22 next month so yeah, ten years isn’t bad.”

"But… Jesus, Joe. Fuck, I couldn't help it. I swear, she took me out at the knees — first time I saw her, I was standing in her office behind John worrying I was about to pop an awkward boner."

Joe laughed, nearly choking on his gulp of beer.

"I couldn't have cared less about viewing the condos — I probably could've gotten everything decided in the first couple of hours, but I acted all indecisive for weeks, just to see her again. Man — she's just such an amazing person. She really is."

Aryne's voice behind Joe startled him and Matthew. "Is John still down at the boathouse?"

Matthew peered around a few groups of people and pointed John out to Aryne.

"Lana — I'll be back in a sec…," Aryne called over her shoulder as Lana approached Matthew and Joe.

“How are you guys doing? Do you need anything at all?” Lana said as she assessed the remaining beer in each of their bottles. She pointed out so additional food stations that had just been set up and rhymed off the varieties of cuisines, if they were hungry of course.

Joe smiled widely and chatted with Lana briefly before excusing himself, leaving Matthew and her alone together.

Barely moving his lips and pretending to look around, Matthew spoke under his breath to Lana how gorgeous she looked. Blushing, Lana did the same.

She paused for a moment and then asked if Joe knew about them. Matthew glanced downward and then apologetically looked into her eyes. Matthew explained that Joe had guessed - and that Joe was also exceptionally smart and seem to notice….well, everything.

Lana’s soft voice soothed Matthew’s mild panic, telling him it was ok that Joe knew. Her brother and Jason knew so it really was only fair.

Matthew had a sudden need to be alone with Lana and he leaned in towards her. “Think I could get a private tour of the inside?”

Lana’s eyes were directed towards a local power couple as she smiled and waved at them, but her mind was solely on Matthew. “Mmmm…I can give you a tour a little later - I have something else in mind. There’s a main staircase inside - follow it upstairs and I'll meet you up there in about 5 minutes, okay?”

Matthew chuckled and jokingly looked over his shoulder, then back to Lana. “Yes ma’am.”

__

Long after Matthew left with the Tavares’ Saturday evening, and once Andrew and Jason had departed on their scheduled road trip the following day, Loren was alone. She traipsed around from room to room absorbing the tranquility of the house, and the bright a breathtaking scenery outside. She always loved this time of year, and there was an odd satisfaction with taking time off when it felt most were venturing back to the work week and school grind after their summer breaks.

Lana changed into her typical work out attire, and headed down to the lake where her one-person scull awaited her on shore. Lana loved her solo rowing trips, especially on a day where the lake was as quiet as it was.

She rowed the lightweight boat along the shoreline at an impressive speed, concentrating on her tempo, proper posture and breathing. She was far off in her own world inside her mind, and barely glanced at the million dollar lake houses with their enormous floating docks and monster ski boats and jet-skis tied to each one.

After an hour-long trip around the lake, she approached her own dock and spotted a tall figure standing by the swim ladder. She stopped rowing to shield her eyes from the sun to get a better look— unintentionally rocking the boat and squealing a little when she realized it was Matthew.

As fast as she could, she hopped into the water and dragged the boat onto the sandy part of the shore, and ran up towards the gangplank where Matthew was climbing down to meet her.

Lana wrapped her arms around Matthew. “I am so happy you’re here but - I thought you had planned to go back to the city yesterday?” She was still puffing - partly from rowing but mostly from Matthew surprising her.

“Sorry - I hated being sneaky but yeah, I really wanted to surprise you. Worried me a little when I showed up and I couldn’t find you. I came out here and kept seeing a flash of something - it was the sun reflecting off your oars. You’re such a badass out there….”

They strolled up the path and chatted animatedly about the hours that passed when they were apart. They entered the main cottage through the large glass doors just off the kitchen.

Matthew was still in awe of Lana’s lake front setup and as they talked, he would meander off, poking his head in and out of rooms with a “not too shabby” expression on his face.

Lana beamed, looking at Matthew as he approached her, backing her up against the countertop by the kitchen sink. He slowly pressed his mouth onto hers and asked if he could interrupt her "quiet time" and stay for a few days. He would need to make his way back into the city at some point that week, but it was Joe who encouraged him to take the chance, come back to Lana's, and spend time with her before training camp got fully underway.

Lana wrapped her arms tightly around Matthew’s neck, her kiss full of need and desire for him. She was elated that he came back, otherwise, the thought had crossed her mind to leave the cottage, surprise him at his condo door - like they do in so many rom-coms - probably drenched from rain, too.

Every moment that followed, a sense of peace washed over Matthew and Lana, which neither had even known they needed. They simply wanted to be together. Whether they were exploring the beautiful towns nearby, sunning themselves on the dock (Matthew couldn't believe what a rocket Lana was in her bikini), or enjoying dinner for two on the boat as they cruised the lake — anything that allowed them to be near one another.

If their shared sense of peace was a surprise to them, their appetite for each other was not. At the party, after they stole away into Lana's bathroom for a few minutes (in reality it was more like 30), Lana channeled her newly discovered sexuality. Behind the locked door, Lana stripped down to her strapless bra and lace panties, and promptly palmed Matthew's cock through his pants. It wasn't much longer before Lana had her hand over her mouth, stifling her cries of bliss while Matthew kneeled in front of her, her one leg draped over his shoulder as he dined on her.

A "Car Ride" soon took on a completely different meaning after their road trips would extend past sunset. Lana was surprised to find a number of secluded spots to climb onto Matthew's cock and experience heaven — sometimes more than once.

For Matthew, picnics in bed had become a fast favorite. The amount of teasing that they unlocked with various edibles was positively sinful. If things got too sticky or messy, well then a joint shower, and everything that entails, would need to be had.

It was Lana's appetite for Matthew that brought her back to the city early, well before her two-week break had concluded. After Matthew had left their bubble to go back to Toronto to buckle down with training, Lana tried to push past the longing that had settled in deep for Matthew. She knew how to be alone—she had always been comfortable with her own company. But she missed him, plain and simple. As Matthew drove home after a morning skate, he scrambled to press "read" on his dashboard after a text from Lana appeared.

"Good morning, Matty. Would you be around for dinner tonight, or sometime soon? Just arrived home. Was missing someone terribly."

Matthew called Lana immediately.

"You're back?! God—that's really—wow… really good news. I was missing someone pretty badly too." Matthew heard Lana giggle and he felt his heart could burst with happiness.

"So, I was wondering if I could take the someone I was missing terribly out on a date tonight? That is, if he's available?" Lana asked hopefully.

Matthew was positively moony. "Does he have to wait that long—or can you maybe fit him in before tonight? Like, maybe now, if not sooner?"

Lana's smile could be heard in her voice. "I can. I'll meet you at yours in the next half-second."

Matthew's cock twitched at Lana's suggestive tone, and he let out a little groan. "See you soon then."

The afternoon was mostly spent horizontal—limbs intertwined and lips connected to each other in every way possible.

They slowly peeled themselves off each other, enjoyed a long and lazy shower, and got ready for their date. Matthew peppered her with questions as to where they were going, and Lana simply answered, "To dinner… and then I guess we'll see after that."

The only other hint she gave Matthew was that she was taking him to her favorite restaurant.

From a window seat atop the ManuLife Centre, 51 floors up, Lana gazed out at one of the most stunning sunsets she'd ever seen—a breathtaking display of reds, oranges, and purples. It felt as if the universe itself was sharing a knowing wink with her. She had gotten her wish - and what a redemption this was from the last time she sat in this restaurant.

The only thing that surpassed the outside view was the man she sat across from. His magnetic charm, disarming looks, with a genuinely kind heart.

Matthew Knies had been well worth the wait.

[yandere-fics]

What’s the phrase or cadence the yanderes use to say “You can’t ever leave”?

I thought about this one alot.

Miriel: "Can you please tell me who told you to leave babe? I need to know who put that idea in your head, don't worry, you're never going to be apart from me!"

Eliza: "Silly, I'm always going to be at your side! Mates don't leave eachother!"

Selene is some version of telling you she'll forgive you for trying to escape because you're soulmates so at the end of the day you'll be back in her arms.

Kassien: "If you ever leave I'll break your legs so escape will be impossible."

Nikki: "Mate, as far as I'm aware there is no supernatural that would ever separate from their mates, the same goes for angels."

Nora: "I-I'm sorry, I can't let you leave, you're my reason for living, I need to keep you safe."

Runa: "M-my love, that's not a very nice joke, you know I'd never let you leave, please don't make that joke again."

Sawyer: "Dearest, you are aware I own this city yes? You're never going to be able to leave so I would appreciate if you would stop trying."

Theanna likes to see you wear yourself out running before she swoops in and reminds you she has more endurance and men at her disposal to always hunt you down.

Elisha it depends on the relationship status, if she's still playing coy it's more like reminding you you're much safer at her side, if she's honest she's killing everyone and telling you she'll do that until no one can seduce you away from her side.

Pauline doesn't speak, she has that stupid tripping curse and if you're trying to leave she's just going to mumble idiot under her breath and ignore you otherwise she might get angry or worse, cry.

Raffie: "Beloved Sunflower, I'm the only one who could take proper care of you, I can't let you go and fall into someone unworthy's hands."

Abigail: "Sweetheart, knights NEVER let their ladies go."

Veronia: "Dearest mate, forgive me but I must keep you with me in my territory forever, you'll get used to it eventually."

Bibi: "Pookie! You're such a bitch for trying to leave when you know you can't, leave the jokes to me cause your jokes are stupid."

Ainsley: "Babygirl, do I have to break you to get you to recognize this was love at first sight, I will if that's what I have to do to make you understand you're never leaving."

Skye: "I-I thought w-we were going to be together f-forever." You can leave for a little bit but don't worry once her sisters snatch you for her, you're there forever.

Sophie: "Doll, what do I have to do to get you to understand, you're mine, I'm keeping you, get those dumb thoughts out of your head, you're my doll, it's for your own good."

Darla: "I mean you could break up with me but everyone in town knows we're going to be together forever so you'll be back soon."

Ellie: "D-do I need to start biting you more so y-you'll understand we're going to be together forever?"

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Matt Gertz at MMFA:

Fox News hosts like Ainsley Earhardt are overjoyed about notorious anti-vaccine activist Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s purported ability to help former President Donald Trump’s campaign appeal to “moms” concerned with public health. “I think moms around the country appreciate his stance for trying to make our children healthy again,” she said on Monday. Earhardt noted that in Kennedy’s speech last week endorsing Trump, “he talked about how 75% of the budget from the FDA comes from pharmaceutical companies” and “said it's very profitable when a child is sick,” adding that Kennedy’s condemnation of “corruption in health care” is “music to every mom’s ears."

The culture warriors at Fox aren’t typically invested in talking about public health issues. But in one key health-related fight on which the network aligned with Kennedy — COVID-19 vaccines — the results have proved disastrous. Their combined assault on what Kennedy falsely termed “the deadliest vaccine ever made” helped trigger plummeting levels of support for childhood vaccinations among Republicans, with ongoing consequences for America’s kids. Fox’s unique pull with its right-wing audience gave it a moral responsibility to encourage viewers to take the life-saving COVID-19 vaccines. Instead, the network — led by stars like Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, and Sean Hannity — pandered to anti-vaxxers like Kennedy. Fox conducted a yearslong campaign to undermine the vaccines, which the network falsely portrayed as ineffective and dangerous, while talking up the potential of fake cures for the virus. Its hosts were particularly scathing about public health efforts to require vaccination at schools and workplaces, which Ingraham described as a “crime against humanity.” The right-wing assault on the COVID-19 vaccines led to lower rates of vaccinations among Republicans — and consequently higher death rates. But the anti-vaccine sentiment unleashed by the likes of Fox and Kennedy was not limited to COVID-19: There have been broader impacts on GOP support for the full range of childhood vaccinations.

Gallup reported earlier this month that the percentage of Americans who say it is important for parents to get their children vaccinated has tumbled since the COVID-19 pandemic — and that Republicans and Republican-leaning independents are responsible for that decline. [...]

The result is skyrocketing outbreaks of preventable and dangerous diseases among children — but things can still get so much worse. Trump is more than willing to prioritize his political future over your kids. Playing to his base, he all but disavowed the COVID-19 vaccines his administration helped bring to fruition, and he vows that his administration “will not give one penny” to schools that require their students to be vaccinated. He sought Kennedy’s endorsement and is dangling the prospect of rewarding him with a plum post — potentially secretary of Health and Human Services, where the anti-vaccine activist would wield incredible power. Far from trying to hold him back, Fox hosts like Earhardt and MAGA princes like Charlie Kirk are celebrating Kennedy’s supposed health bona fides.

Right-wing media outlets, including Fox “News”, are championing anti-vaxxer extremist Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s anti-vaccine worldview as part of their war on vaccine mandates and the COVID-19 vaccine.

Kennedy Jr. recently dropped out (but will remain on ballot in non-swing states) and endorsed anti-vaxxer enabler Donald Trump. Trump, despite signing off on the beginnings of COVID vaccine distribution with Operation Warp Speed, has appealed to anti-vaxxer extremists with his “not one penny” pledge to schools with vaccine mandates.

According to a Gallup poll conducted between July 1st and 21st, the decline in support for childhood vaccinations and vaccine mandates came almost exclusively from Republicans and Republican-leaning independents.

[guinevere-of-smiths]

a stained-glass variation of the truth

Book: The Unexpected Heiress

Words: ~6600

Rating: G

Pairing: John Somerset x f!MC (Celeste Hayes)

Characters: John Somerset, Celeste Hayes, Lady Ashbourne, Francis Somerset, Delia Hayes, Mrs. Watmore and Effie Ainsley

Warnings: I imagine Delia to be mildly emotionally abusive, but that isn't even really alluded to in this. She is just overbearing and unplesant.

Summary: John and Celeste think themselves safe after Lord and Lady Ashbourne agree to call of the engagement. They are wrong. Some in-between scenes for the beginning of Chapter 16.

Featuring, among other things: Lady Ashbourne having a soft spot for John, Delia not having a soft spot for anyone, Celeste being very determined and John being very fatalistic.

Fun Fact: The title is a lyric from Neptune by Sleeping at Last, which in my mind is the "John-romancing MC marries Francis"!AU song.

If John was hoping to find Celeste in the great hall, he was in for a disappointment. Neither she nor his brother were anywhere in sight, although they had been penning letters here only an hour or so ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Truth be told, it wasn’t all that surprising; both were eager to end their engagement officially. Certainly, they would have sent the letters out as soon as his parents had given them their approval. Someone of a more philosophical bent than John would find much to ponder about their unity in trying to disentangle their lives from each other, but as far as he was concerned, the sooner the better. He couldn’t wait for Celeste to be free of the engagement, if only because he would finally be able to court her as she deserved.

But that didn’t tell him where they were now or why Celeste hadn’t appeared for their stroll in the gardens as she had promised. It wasn’t like her to stand someone up without explanation.

He had just hazarded a step towards the family drawing room when a figure rounded the corner. He paused. “Mrs. Watmore. How fortunate to meet you here.”

Mrs. Watmore had never been overly fond of him, and her movements were clipped as she halted and inclined her head. “Mr. John. What can I do for you?”

“Do you happen to know where I can find Miss Hayes?”

“As far as I know, she is talking to Mrs. Hayes upstairs.”

At first, John thought he must have had misheard. Celeste’s stepmother wasn’t scheduled to arrive for a few days yet if his parents’ telegram calling off the engagement hadn’t postponed the journey altogether. “Mrs. Hayes?” he repeated, just to be certain. Mrs. Watmore sniffed and made a show of looking around, as if she wanted to make sure that no member of the Hayes family was within earshot.

“She showed up here a little while ago, without so much as a letter announcing her arrival, and wasn’t here two minutes before she started to make a scene to Miss Hayes about the engagement. Mr. Francis barely managed to welcome her before Her Ladyship arrived to take charge of the situation.”

Her dislike for Americans oozed from every word. Usually, John would have chuckled and gone on his way. Not this time. His blood went cold when he realized the implications of her tale. Francis, Celeste, and he had been so caught up in getting his parents’ approval to end the engagement that they hadn’t even considered that Celeste’s family might think differently.

Calm yourself. If his parents and, most importantly, Francis didn’t agree to the marriage, there was nothing Celeste’s stepmother could do.

And then he realized, to his horror, that that didn’t mean that she couldn’t sabotage her other marriage prospects. Celeste, at nineteen, wasn’t old enough to be married in England without her parents’ consent. He didn’t know where American law stood on that, but if Delia Hayes just carried her off, that didn’t matter either way. Maybe he would have to raise the possibility of his marrying her far sooner than he would have liked. Or maybe his mother, diplomat that she was, had managed to smooth the situation over already.

“Where is my mother now?”

“Her Ladyship is in her boudoir.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Watmore. That will be all.” His pace when he started towards his mother’s boudoir was far more measured than he would have liked, but even now, he couldn’t bring himself to run through the manor like a maniac. His mind was reeling. His mother would usually withdraw to her private sanctum to write letters in peace. Was that what she was doing now? If so, what about? Dread coiled in his stomach at the thought of the plethora of letters replanning the wedding would take. He stopped in front of the closed door to take several deep breaths, only knocking when he was sure that his face wouldn’t betray his inner turmoil.

The world hung in silence for a moment before his mother asked him inside, voice clear. Even if the morning’s events had upset her, she didn’t show it. She was even smiling, sitting at her small writing desk when he entered. That would have comforted John if he didn’t suspect that it was forced.

“Pardon the interruption, Mother, but I was informed that we have surprise visitors.”

“News travels fast, I see.”

Nothing was further from John’s mind than telling on the staff to his parents—even disagreeable staff like Mrs. Watmore—so he decided to keep the tone of her words to herself. “I crossed paths with Mrs. Watmore. If you want a thorough report on what everyone heard, I will certainly keep my ears open.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Sighing, she put down her pen and motioned for him to come inside. John closed the door behind him before taking a seat in the armchair nearest to her desk. “This entire situation is a debacle.”

He watched his mother put the cap back on the pen and waited a few more moments before speaking. He didn’t want to hear the answer to his question. He wanted to close his eyes and leave this room and stay in that blissful bubble he and Celeste had been in for the past few days. He wanted to court her until they were both certain that they were ready for marriage. He wanted her to be part of his life, but not as his sister-in-law, forever out of reach. 

There were so many things he wanted, but he forced himself to speak. “Then she really demanded for the marriage to take place?”

“Most empathetically. I must admit, she is not wrong about it being a waste to cancel the wedding on such short notice.”

“Not such a waste as forcing Francis and Miss Hayes into an unhappy marriage. You’re not implying that your opinion has changed just because an American showed up and made a scene?”

"John," his mother scolded.

“It would have been good manners to at least take off her coat.”

His mother didn’t even acknowledge the quip. “Her demeanour wasn’t the best,” was her single reluctant admission. “And I still have no wish to force your brother into a marriage that would make him miserable, nor Miss Hayes. But that decision at dinner a few days back wasn’t easy.” She sighed. “The upkeep of both estate and servants won’t lessen, John. And if Delia Hayes wishes to, she could make it harder for us to make another lucrative connection.”

“There are plenty of wealthy daughters in England. Delia Hayes has no sway over them.” I’d marry Celeste. The words burnt his tongue, begging to be spoken. Marriage was a step he hadn’t yet wanted to put into words. Celeste and he had known each other for barely two months. Much as he wanted to remain part of her life, it wasn’t enough time to be sure that it wasn’t just infatuation, a reckless reaction on his part to a fascinating, vivacious, beautiful woman he had gotten close to only because of the thrill of a murder investigation. But he refused to let that chance be taken from him. If Delia Hayes insisted on an engagement, she would have it—if it proved necessary. “Did she really threaten you with destroying our reputation?”

“No. But we are in no position to take that risk.”

“Fear usually isn’t a good tool for judgement,” John said, feeling like a hypocrite. Why had he flown abroad, if not for fear? But that hadn’t gained him anything but guilt about wasting more of his family’s resources. “I’m sure that once she has calmed down, we will find a solution that makes everyone happy.”

“I hope so.” His mother gave him a direct look. “But you should know that she will likely insist on a marriage between young Celeste and Francis.”

She knows. Dear God. The foolish, inappropriate need to apologize seized hold of him. He hadn’t thought the attention he gave Celeste subtle—he hadn’t wanted it to be, especially during the last few days. And still, he wanted to assure his mother that it hadn’t been his intention to fall in love with his brother’s fiancée. That the hope the false engagement had stoked inside of him had burnt too bright, turning all his resolutions to stay away to cinders.

But he was no longer fifteen years old. Carefully indifferent, he raised his brows. “What, is a prospective husband only worthy if he is to inherit a title?”

“She is a very ambitious woman. She didn’t say so openly, but it was certainly obvious that she wants her stepdaughter to become a viscountess. And I can’t fault her for wanting the best for her family.”

“Why stop at viscountess? Why not find a willing duke?” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t say that out loud; that will only give her ideas. But still. Father and you said we’d find another way. I don’t see why we should abandon that stance now. It’s a matter of principle.”

His mother’s smile was sympathetic. “I fear if we don’t assent, Mrs. Hayes will look for another husband for her daughter. Possibly a duke.”

The implication was obvious. Regardless of whether Celeste married his brother or not, he would lose her. And he refused to accept that. “And it is certain that she would only accept Francis?”

“I think it's quite likely. With her family's... resources, she has bargaining power, and she knows it.”

I’d marry Celeste. The words were searing him from inside out. It might solve their problem, but he couldn’t bring the idea up to his mother before speaking to Celeste first. Even if his mother accepted that he had fallen in love with his brother’s intended, she would have expectations regarding Celeste that might prove too difficult to bear. Celeste had just escaped an unwanted engagement. He owed it to her—and himself—that she chose him of her own free will.

But that meant that he might lose her just because he hesitated, and he didn’t know if he could bear that.

His mother had watched him closely, shaking her head with a sigh after a few moments. “You have always been too stubborn for your own good, John.”

“How do you mean?”

His mother had been Viscountess Ashbourne and a member of the English Peerage for far too long to do anything as demonstrative as to lift a brow; considering this, it was a far more impressive feat that it still felt as if she did. “I can suggest to Delia Hayes that there is a far happier marriage to be made between our families, but first I need to know if that is in your and Miss Haye's interest.”

“Mother, certainly you are not suggesting that I fancy my brother’s fiancée.”

It was a last desperate attempt at decorum. His mother only smiled benignly. “I may have gotten old, but I’m not blind. You have never cared about your brother’s marital prospects as much as you do now about arguing against his marriage to Miss Hayes.”

“I…” He realized as he opened his mouth that he was struggling in vain. His parents might have been blind about Amelia’s death, but the revelations at dinner seemed to have opened his mother’s eyes at least. “She’s a charming woman.”

His mother was still smiling. “That she is.”

“Does Father know of your suspicions?”

“Not as far as I know, for now. Until now, I wasn’t certain myself if I wasn’t reading too much into your friendship.”

That at least was a small consolation. As generous as his mother appeared to be towards his indiscretion, he assumed his father would think differently. He had, led by his anxiety over the estate, urged Francis’ engagement with the younger Hayes daughter from the very beginning. But that was a problem for a different point in time. “If Mrs. Hayes could be talked into it, at least our fiscal problems would be solved. And it would spare Francis the guilt of marrying Amelia’s sister.”

“And you’d be prepared to marry her?”

“As I said, she’s a charming woman.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“You’re right.” The boudoir’s windows looked out onto the garden, presently bathed in the most beautiful sunshine he had seen in days. Had Delia Hayes not made her abrupt appearance, he and Celeste would be promenading there now, talking about everything and nothing—a book she had read, their travel experiences, absurd anecdotes about social engagements, society, philosophy, whatever brought them joy. The end of her engagement and the murder investigation had given their conversations a freedom that hadn’t seemed possible before. Feelings they couldn’t afford to indulge in had always stood in the way of the friendship they could have had otherwise. Imagining all of that being taken away, hardly won, hurt more than he dared to admit.

But did that mean that he was ready for marriage? He felt he had been once upon a time. But that had been in another life, with another woman. And while he was sure that he could love Celeste, was well on his way to loving her, in fact, he didn’t want to give her less than his entire heart. If it weren’t for the fact that he would lose that possibility if he let fear get the better of him now. As his parents’ younger son, he would never face the same marital expectations from his parents as his brother—he could wait for years if he so pleased. But would he ever find someone like Celeste again?

“John?”

“Forgive me. I hope you understand that that is not an easy question to answer. I greatly enjoy Miss Hayes’s company, and I think we could be happy together. It wouldn’t be my choice to suggest marriage to her under such circumstances, but if there is no other way..."

“Do you think she would agree to such an arrangement?”

I love you too, John. “I couldn’t tell you. I hope so.” He took a deep breath. “I would be grateful to you if you could at least put forward the possibility.”

His mother regarded him for a few endless seconds before nodding. “I will see what I can do.”

“That’s all I ask.” Guilt crept up from his chest to his throat, heavy and dark. He could only pray that he wasn’t wrong about Celeste’s affections for him. If he forced an engagement on her out of egoism, she would never forgive him—and he wouldn’t forgive himself, either. He stood quickly. “I should let you write your letters in peace.”

He was almost at the door when his mother spoke again. “John, one more thing.”

“Yes?”

His mother hadn’t moved; she hadn’t even picked up her pen. She was just looking directly at him. “Should Mrs. Hayes insist on the marriage we originally planned, and should your father and I decide that it is what is best for our family, I’ll expect you and Miss Hayes to comport yourselves accordingly.”

He swallowed. He had expected no less, but the knowledge that his mother would be watching them and know of his desires filled his stomach with lead. “Of course, Mother.”

Then he left, praying to every divinity that might hear him that his mother would be successful.

~*~

Whatever it was that his mother said to Mrs. Hayes, it wasn’t enough.

He shouldn’t have expected any other result. Francis was their father’s rightful heir and would be viscount one—hopefully distant—day, while he himself was only the child his parents had taken in out of pity and sorrow and had never cared much about societal influence. Not only did his brother stand between himself and Windcroft, but his natural father did as well, if he was even still alive. Looked at logically, the decision made sense. Celeste had mentioned again and again how ambitious Delia Hayes was and how desperately she wanted her family to climb the social ladder. An adopted son without legal entitlements to anything of relevance was bound not to be enough for her.

And still, deep in his heart, he had nurtured hopes that died an agonizing death that very afternoon.

It was cruel irony that it was his mother that told him the news. A year ago, it had been her that had taken him aside after his return from India to tell him what had laid his world to waste back then—that bloody ship, Victoria’s father’s business trip, her mourning brother’s note that had ended the faint hope that she, at least, had been able to escape. He felt just as numb as back then when he nodded, excused himself, and left the room.

Celeste was alive. That was the small consolation left to him. He would still be able to see and talk to her. She would remain a part of his life.

Until the thought of everything they would never have drove him mad.

~*~

For the rest of the day, he didn’t get a chance to talk to Celeste. Even when they were in the same room, Mrs. Hayes successfully kept her occupied—on purpose, if John wasn’t imagining the glances she threw his way now and then. Considering the antagonism he felt towards the woman, imagining foul play where there was none was a distinct possibility.

Heaven knew how he had managed to get through dinner—he had blocked out so much of it that he wouldn’t have been able to tell. Still not seeing much of what was around him, he followed his father and Francis to the library, only to nearly collide with Francis’ back when his brother suddenly stopped walking.

It took him a few moments to grasp the reason for the sudden halt: Mr. Barnes was speaking to his father in a low voice. After a moment, Father sighed and nodded. “Then I’ll better have a look at it right away. You two go on into the library.”

He only waited for a nod before walking off with Barnes. A viscount didn’t need permission to leave people out in the cold, after all. Privilege gave them the right to destroy lives or to stand idly by while others did the destroying.

For God’s sake, don’t be so dramatic. It was unfair of him to even think like that, and he knew it. His parents had given him so much, and they were only doing what they felt was best. It was ungrateful of him to jeopardize that. “What happened?”

“There has been a letter from Mr. Giles that father was waiting for.”

“Ah.” Disregarding Francis’ raised brow, John walked past him into the library. “If it is legal business, we could be waiting for a while.”

Luckily, there was already a bottle of port standing ready on a side table. Drowning his sorrow in alcohol was neither healthy nor effective—he knew well his problems would still be there afterwards—but he wasn’t sure he would survive the evening sober. He went to pour himself one and looked over his shoulder at his brother. “Do you want some as well?”

“Yes, thank you.” Francis accepted the glass and sat down in an armchair without taking his eyes off him. “John, you have to know that I am sorry.”

“It is how it is.”

“I’m serious. If there had been any way to convince Father and Mrs. Hayes that—”

“Francis, leave it be. There is nothing we can do about it either way.”

The last thing John wanted were discussions about something that could only hurt him. He didn’t blame his brother for what had happened. At least he was trying not to. Certainly, Francis could refuse to marry Celeste, but then her stepmother would whisk her away to the States and find her another husband. This way, she at least remained in his life. Maybe, someday, when the wound wasn’t as fresh, they could be friends.

Until that day, he refused to spend more time thinking about it than he had to.

“Maybe there is.” His brother put down his glass and rubbed his forehead. “There has to be some way to make her understand that you’d be just as good a husband for her daughter as me.”

“Only that I am not.” John drained his drink. “You’ll inherit the title; I won’t. That’s enough for that woman.”

“But-”

“Francis, leave it be.”

His brother shut his mouth and looked at him with far too much pity for comfort. When he didn’t say anything, John squared his shoulders. “Don’t make the situation bigger than it needs to be. Miss Hayes and I have known each other for, what, two months? We’ll bear it.”

For a moment, he was certain his brother would disagree, but then Francis only nodded and released a slow breath. “You’re probably right. I’m sorry nonetheless.”

After that, neither of them uttered another word. John would have liked to say that this would change nothing between them. All of them were mature adults. They moved in circles in which marrying purely for love was a luxury. He would be expected to master his feelings and be the perfect brother-in-law to Celeste.

He repeated that knowledge to himself again and again. Tried to internalize it. Tried to remind himself that what he took for profound, fervent love could well be nothing but infatuation that would dissipate if he ignored it long enough. That was how feelings were supposed to work once one was no longer an adolescent.

If only reality were as simple as the theory.

~*~

He stayed in the drawing room for as long as he could stomach, but in the end, he couldn’t bear it anymore. Listening as Delia Hayes talked excitedly about wedding preparations with his grandmother, while his mother and father made polite replies, Celeste sat there looking as miserable as he felt, and Francis gave every appearance of wanting to disappear then and there, was a new form of torture.

The proper behaviour on his part would have been to listen with a stiff upper lip, but his patience was at an end. He stood, instantly feeling all eyes on him.

“I’m sorry, but I just recalled that there was an urgent letter from an acquaintance I need to reply to. It slipped my mind, what with everything that happened today. I hope you’ll excuse me.”

His mother nodded immediately. “Of course. Will you rejoin us once you are finished?”

“I don’t think so. I wish everyone a good night. Mrs Hayes. Miss Hayes.”

“Can’t your letter wait awhile longer?”

Of those present, most could not have made him hesitate, but he couldn’t ignore the sound of Celeste’s voice. Everyone’s eyes shifted from him to her. Her gaze was on him, her smile brave, but with a plea in her eyes that made his heart stutter painfully.

He cleared his throat. “I don’t think I have much input to give on the wedding preparations.”

“That topic will surely soon be exhausted.”

Her stepmother tsked. “Don’t be foolish, Celeste. We’re not nearly done even with the guest list!”

Celeste’s smile was as polite as it was impersonal. “The guest list has been finalized months ago. I can imagine that you’d like to hear what important personages will be in attendance, but everyone here should be able to participate in tonight’s conversation, don’t you think?”

“As yet, nobody has voiced a complaint about this topic, dear.”

Her smile was so patronizing that it made John’s blood boil. As if Celeste was nothing more than a misbehaving child that one needed to explain basic concepts to instead of a mature, intelligent woman that knew her own mind.

His grandmother waved her hand dismissively before he was able to rise to her defence. “I’d like to hear more about the intended guests. So, Blythe, Rebecca has made certain of the accommodation despite this unfortunate matter?”

The beginnings of hope that had crept into Celeste’s face for a few traitorous heartbeats vanished. She was still looking at him, silently pleading with him to stay. And he wavered. He didn’t want to abandon her. But she was his brother’s wife-to-be. The sooner he accepted that there was no future to this kind of closeness, the better.

So, he held her gaze for a moment, trying to silently give her the apology he was unable to speak aloud, and then left the room.

There really was a letter to be answered (the only thing that had been a fib was its urgency), but he halted at the foot of the stairs to breathe in deeply. He might not have been able to bear the drawing room, but the prospect of his empty quarters seemed no more inviting. If he went about it quietly, he would be able to sneak out to spend a few hours at the pub. Its laughter and noise were sure to distract him. Going there wouldn’t solve his problem, but it would help him forget for a time.

But first, he would have to change his clothes. His tailcoat was unlikely to be inconspicuous in a pub. He was so immersed in debating his plan that he nearly collided with Effie once he reached the upper floor. The maid only just managed to jump aside.

“Oh! Master John!”

“My apologies, Effie. I should have watched where I was going.” He made to move past her when she suddenly cleared her throat.

“Beg your pardon, sir, but I have a message for you.”

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”

Against his better judgement, he had stopped, which allowed him to watch Effie look around furtively before pressing the sheets she was carrying to her chest with one arm and using the other to pull a sheaf of paper out of her apron’s pocket. “It’s from Miss Hayes. For you. She gave it to me before she went down to dinner. I was supposed to give it to you as soon as I saw you.”

If he were wise, he would dismiss the letter, especially after all his lofty professions of good intentions, but he couldn’t bring himself to. “Thank you, Effie.” He took the note from her and was about to turn away when she cleared her throat again.

“I’m sorry, sir, but Miss Hayes asked me to tell you to read it immediately, so I can give her your answer.” She lowered her gaze, as if she expected an upbraiding for her brazenness. Even investigating a murder together couldn’t change some things.

Celeste’s letter was short. Instead of the unnecessary apologies and vows to never forget him he had expected, there were only two sentences.

John,

I need to speak to you. Tonight, at the top of the tower, once everyone has gone to bed.

All my love,

Celeste

He shouldn’t.

But he couldn’t resist, either. “I’ll be there," he said, pocketed the note, and continued his way towards his room.

~*~

Celeste threw herself into his arms the moment he reached the top of the stairs.

“Careful!” The unexpected force made him teeter backwards; only a quick grab for the railing prevented them both from tumbling down the staircase. Celeste backed up immediately.

“I’m sorry, but I’m so relieved to see you.”

“It’s alright.” He took a few steps away from the stairs, just to be safe. “Are you telling me that seeing you during that farce of a dinner wasn’t enough?”

“You mean the dinner where I hardly had a moment to speak to you?” Celeste, usually a picture of decorum and grace, laughed bitterly. At least she hadn’t completed the indecency of their situation by having shown up in a nightdress. She was still wearing her evening gown, merely without her gloves and jewellery. “I’m glad Effie caught you before it was too late, at least.”

“I wasn’t sure whether to come.” Every shred of common sense he possessed was screaming at him to leave, that there was no use, that their disappointment would only get bigger the longer he held on, but instead, he wrapped his arms around her when she embraced him again. “But I couldn’t stay away.”

“You better not.” It was her who pulled away, if only far enough to look up into his face. “John, I’m so unbelievably sorry. I tried to change Delia’s mind, but she twisted every word I said.”

“I’m under the impression that your stepmother is quite determined not to let anyone veer her from her course. Even my mother couldn’t do a thing about her.”

Celeste twisted out of his arms completely, her lips pressed tightly together, and walked a few steps away from him, only to turn sharply around. “Delia has always been like that," she announces, her eyes blazing. “Whenever something doesn’t fit into her plans, she just stops listening, no matter how many arguments one brings forward. And with this, it doesn’t help that it’s about our feelings. Who cares that I’ll still marry into English nobility, but will be happy about it, if she could brag about her daughter the future viscountess instead?” She looked on the verge of punching or kicking something.

John understood. He was just as furious at the powerlessness he felt.

“She can’t force Francis and you to marry.”

“But she can force me to go back to the States.” Sighing, Celestes dropped down onto the cushioned bank they had sat on only a few days ago when he had confessed his love to her. The memory turned his stomach. How naïve they had been. “I don’t know whether she’d use force, but I’m financially dependent on my parents. And, well, they're my parents.” She looked away. “I can’t simply break with them.”

“They’d really disown you?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed deeply, closing her eyes for a moment. “But I fear it. In any case, I doubt they’d agree to pay the large dowry that made me attractive as a daughter-in-law for your parents in the first place.”

“Even if I don’t marry for money, Francis could still do so in the future.”

“But will his marriage prospects be improved by a penniless American, disowned by her own parents and without any connections worth mentioning?” Her hands balled into fists. “And all this wouldn’t be such a problem if Delia wasn’t so good at dismissing anything that doesn’t fit into her view of the world!”

He would have liked to reassure her that all her stepmother needed was time to acclimate herself to the idea, but she had told him enough about the woman to know that that was unlikely. Once Delia Hayes had adopted a goal, she held onto it, even if she had to walk across corpses to reach it. “I’m sorry, Celeste.”

Immediately, astonishment softened her angry face. “Why? Nothing about this is your fault, John. If anything, I have to apologize for Delia.” For a moment, she seemed on the cusp of saying more, but then, she pressed her lips together and shook her head. “We have to come up with something, and fast.”

John laughed without joy. He had been wracking his brain since his conversation with his mother, without one decent plan to show for it. Only ludicrous, half-formed ideas. “Sadly, I don’t have any claims to titles I haven’t told you about. Without eloping to Scotland, I don’t see a way out.”

Celeste was silent for some moments. She stared out at the moonlit hills, her brows furrowed. “If this was only about showing Delia that she can’t control everything, I’d be tempted to ask you for precisely that.”

“I beg your pardon?” He was sure that he had misheard.

But Celeste merely met his eyes and shrugged. “That isn’t a new idea, is it? Two lovers throwing duty and opposition into the wind and running away together?” She forced a smile. “Aunt Maude, at least, would be thrilled.”

“Your aunt would probably even help us if we asked her to.”

“Oh, she would.” As if she had suddenly forgotten why they were meeting clandestinely and talking about hypothetical secret marriages in the first place, Celeste’s eyes took on the mischievous gleam he so loved. “If only to see Delia’s face when she finds out. You don’t know how much Aunt Maude would enjoy holding that over her head for the rest of their lives. That all her tyranny and propriety didn’t gain her anything in the end, I mean.”

“There isn’t only your family to consider, however. There’s mine, too.” John had meant to remain serious, but when he looked into Celeste’s sparkling eyes, the same recklessness he always felt with her seized him. “My grandmother might actually have a heart attack when she hears of it.”

“Your grandmother always seemed rather tough to me.”

“That’d be the alternative: her having both of our heads.”

“Obviously, there is only one solution for that.” He had sat down next to her by this time, so instead of continuing her speech, Celeste scooted closer to him, let her fingers wander down his lower arm until she could take his hand in hers, and looked at him so intensely with her warm brown eyes that his chest warmed. Only then did she speak. “We just turn our back on it all and make sure we are never heard from again.”

“Or we rely on your charm winning over my parents to our side and let them deal with Grandmother. Provided you don’t object to marrying a younger son without much to offer.” He held her hand tightly in his. All of this was nothing but idle daydreaming, but he couldn’t make himself let go.

“Only if that younger son doesn’t object to marrying said penniless, disgraced American.”

He swallowed with difficulty. The mischief had vanished from her eyes, although her gaze hadn’t lost any of its intensity, and without her having to say it, he knew what she hoped for from him. “If this was only about myself, I wouldn’t care a whit about anything else, Celeste," he said, his voice suddenly hoarse. “I would go anywhere with you. But my family…”

His parents had done so much for him. He couldn’t repay them by not only foiling a lucrative marriage but making it harder to find another such one, at the very moment they needed the money the most. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he disappointed them like that.

Celeste didn’t seem to have expected another answer; she only nodded and took a slightly shaky breath without loosening her hold on him. “I understand.”

“But I’m grateful for the time we had," he said after a moment. “As short as it might have been.”

“So that’s it?” She looked up at him with those big, dark brown eyes he had found such joy losing himself in during the last few days, and his heart constricted painfully. It was obvious that she felt the same. He saw her swallow before she could speak again. “We just give up?”

It was as if her words pulled his fears and anxieties into reality with gruesome clarity. For a moment, he felt as if forced into icy water; his lungs closed as if every breath was pressed out of them, and his heart first stuttered and then beat thrice as fast as usual, painful and in panic. He had only just found her. No matter what they did now, their lives would alter forever, and both paths were littered with things they would regret.

But how was he supposed to put his own happiness over the financial security of his family?

“It was a beautiful dream, Celeste," he said, shaking his head. “But it was always too good to be true.”

“There has to be something we can do," she insisted, but at this point, she likely spoke out of stubbornness rather than real hope. He wanted to deny it himself, but the truth was that there was no escape. Hoping at all had been naïve, but he couldn’t regret having given into it. He was just about to say something to that effect when Celeste suddenly dropped his hand and stood. “We just have to find some means to delay the wedding; buy ourselves some time. Enough to come up with something to convince our parents to let us decide for ourselves.” She started to pace. “Maybe I can fake an illness. Effie would certainly aid me. How kind or liable to bribery is your family’s physician?”

“Celeste, even if we were able to fool anyone, which I don’t believe we could pull off, what good would it do? There is nothing that could make me look like a better match than Francis.”

“I refuse to just give up. After everything we’ve been through in the last few months, I won’t waste my life by being forced into a marriage that will make every single one of us unhappy.”

“Francis is a good man.” It hurt, saying the words, but someone had to. He had to make both of them realize that it was easier to look their fate in the eye. “He would never mistreat you.”

„He would do his best not to see Amelia every time he looks at me, you mean.” Suddenly, she stilled and looked at him with steel in her gaze. “How am I supposed to marry a man who I know wishes I were my dead sister, while he knows that I wish he were you? Just how do you expect this to work, John?”

“We would hardly be the first to marry other people than those we wish to.” She was right, of course she was, but what would admitting that aloud change? “It will hurt in the beginning, but we will learn to live with it.”

“Even if we could, that isn’t what I want.”

“It isn’t what I want, either.” He stood and walked over to where she was standing. In the dim light, her hair silvered by moonlight, her face gilded by the lantern’s glow, she looked like an ethereal creature out of a dream, hidden from daylight. Just what she had always been to him. And yet, she was so beautiful that he wanted nothing more than to pull her to him and kiss her until they forgot everything that had happened that day. The thought did nothing but feed his misery. “Believe me," he said, “I wish things were different.”

“John…”

“I can’t hang on to pointless hopes again and again, Celeste. Not after everything.”

“They won’t be pointless if we can find a way to convince Delia.” When he didn’t reply to that, because he honestly didn’t know what to say, she reached out a hand to gently stroke his cheek. The tender caress sent a shiver down his spine, and although he should have put distance between them, he leant his hand into her warm, soft hand when she let it rest against his skin. He didn’t want this moment, possibly the last they’d ever have, to end. Her thumb softly stroked his cheek. “Promise me you won’t give up, John, that you’ll at least try to come up with something. Then I’ll promise the same.”

It was pointless; it was foolish, but looking into her eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to say so. At the end of it, she was right: after everything they had seen and lost, sacrificing their happiness to duty was laughable. He could only hope that they would find a way to win this fight before it was too late.

[archive-poetry]

—Igor Gulin, Kontur, translated by Your Language My Ear

2024.09.30 - poets.org poem-a-day

[x]

Kontur

Igor Gulin

translated from the Russian by Your Language My Ear S

**

The angle is too wide. It’s really an angle, not a cone. I keep slipping down over and over. But—I catch on the vertices. I hang like a piece of seaweed at the periphery of the gaze. It’s the same story with the tables. It always amazed me how nothing falls off them in his work, and now it’s like I can understand the utter despair of these victuals. I’ve also fused into place—at a 25-degree angle. You can’t pick me up or drop me. But I’d like to slide off already, into the hungry rustle of antennae, to the local partisans’ camp. I lie at my quiet angle facing the cobalt contour and am afraid to touch it. I don’t know what unfathomable geometry preserves it. At one point I studied Italian but now all I can muster is an oily magari. It has to do with the relationship between what’s alive and what’s salty.

**

These figures are annoying when they’re the first to fall. They form predictable vacuums. There are two of them here. And also, in the shape of a small square, a spot of color—F. I have a hunch they named her in honor of an unsuccessful dancer, but I’d like to think otherwise. It always seemed to me that those splotches of his had a lot of, not passion, but love. They break apart the bedroom scene, let the paint run down and abandon the hopeless composition. In the awkward dubstep undertaken by F there’s a similar generosity. She pins my legs and gives my doomed hands a soft task. Tears, fisticuffs, the ritual sacrifice of round birds. Their fall happens at too great a distance to divine anything from the asphalt remains. Now I can’t turn my head, I watch the handless clock, and time settles in a stiffening vertebra like salt. In two days we’ll go to the factory to flirt with the spectors of labor. I will crown myself with the thorny wreath of inaction, slash open my hand, and that stillborn chick we couldn’t see from the balcony will ooze out, rise up from my blood. You’ll blow on it and my wound will acquire the gift of sight.

**

The metaphor is as old and precise as the devil. I want to be the text, you want to be the image. Fucking gender. You don’t want to be looked at. I am trying to become illegible. Fucking gender. One day we will be like angels. Composed of a single contour. Meanwhile, I watch the ink fill in your body.

About this Poem

“‘Kontur’ [Contour] was written in 2014 as a kind of postscript for a big cycle of prose poems called Encumbrances/Narratives. It was first published online in the digital magazine QueerCulture (no longer available), and then in Khlebushek [Lil’ Loaf of Bread] (Freepoetry, 2017). It is actually a rather straightforward lyrical piece. The situation: two people are lying on the couch. One is in love with the other; the second one is asleep; the first one gazes upon the loved one and endures a kind of noli me tangere experience. Instead of touching the loved one, he pictures the scene as a series of homages to favorite painters. In the first fragment, it is David Shterenberg; in the second, Francis Bacon; and in the third, Paul Klee.” —Igor Gulin, translated from Russian by Ainsley Morse

Контур

**

Угол слишком широк. Это – именно угол, не конус. Я вновь и вновь проскакиваю вниз. Но – цепляюсь за стрелки. Вишу водорослью на периферии взгляда. Та же история со столами. Я всегда удивлялся, как у него с них ничего не падает, а сейчас будто бы понимаю невозможное отчаяние этих продуктов. Я так же врос – под углом в 25 градусов. Меня ни возьмешь, ни уронишь. А хотелось бы уже скатиться – в голодный шелест усиков, в лагерь к местным партизанам. Я лежу под тихим углом к кобальтовому контуру, и боюсь к нему прикасаться. Не знаю, что за бездонная геометрия его хранит. Когда-то я учил итальянский, но сейчас все что могу вымолвить – промасленное magari. Оно касается отношений живого и соленого.   **

Эти фигуры раздражают, когда падают первыми. Образуют заведомые пустоты. Здесь таких две. И еще – небольшим квадратом, пятном краски – Ф. Я догадываюсь, ее назвали в честь неудавшейся танцовщицы, но хочу думать иначе. Мне всегда казалось, в этих его пятнах много не страсти, но любви. Они разламывают сцену постели, дают краске сбежать, покинуть безнадежную композицию. В нелепом дабстепе, затеянном Ф., есть схожая щедрость. Она блокирует мои ноги и дает мягкое дело обреченным рукам.

Слезы, драка, жертвоприношение круглых птиц. Слишком далекое их падение, чтобы выгадать хоть что-то по асфальтным останкам. Теперь я не могу повернуть голову, смотрю в циферблат без стрелок, и время откладывается солью в каменеющем позвонке. Через два дня мы пойдем на завод, кокетничать с призраками труда. Я короную себя терновым венцом бездействия, рассеку руку, и тот, не видимый нам с балкона, мертворожденный цыпленок вытечет, проступит из моей крови. Ты подуешь на него, и моя рана получит зрение.   **

Метафора стара и точна как черт. Я хочу стать текстом, ты хочешь стать изображением. Ебаный гендер. Ты не хочешь, чтобы на тебя смотрели. Я пытаюсь стать нечитаемым. Ебаный гендер. Однажды мы будем как ангелы. Состоять из одного только контура. Пока я смотрю, как чернила заполняют твое тело.

[mermaidsirennikita]

I read your review of Earls Trip and was wondering if you had any other recs please where the heroine is not a virgin but has not had good sex? Thanks!

For suuuuure!

Contemporary:

The Next Best Fling by Gabriella Gamez isn't out until July but I'd highly recommend a pre-order because the heroine has never been given what she needs in the bedroom. Fortunately, the brother of the guy she thinks she's in love with DELIVERS.

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield. The heroine hasn't had the worst sex ever in the past, but she's very unfulfilled because she feels like she can't really indulge her kink (daddy stuff specifically) due to a fear of rejection? So it's a next level thing when she hooks up with the hero, who's totally compatible with her on that level. (It matters!!!)

Historical:

lmao like most widow books tbh

Scandalous Desires by Elizabeth Hoyt. Silence's sexual relationship with her husband was mid to poor and she doesn't even know what getting eaten out is until she gets turned out by a slutty pirate (as one does).

Joss and The Countess by S.M. LaViolette. Like, the big thing in this book is that all of Alicia's encounters in her marriages were either mid or awful (TW for past abuse) and after her second husband dies she starts trolling London for a good lay. With her bodyguard, Joss--who is actually a former sex worker and the D E F I N I T I O N of a great lay. And he knows that she what she actually needs is some rough attention, as they'd say, so he basically gets fed up one night and is like "THIS IS RIDICULOUS I'M TAKING OVER". I actually really liked that a lot of the issue was indeed Alicia sleeping with shitty men, but another part of the issue (because I believe her first husband was nice) is that she just... wasn't compatible with people who weren't going to rough her up. Someone being nice isn't enough for the sex to be good, y'all do need to be sexually compatible, 'tis a fact of life.

A Lady Awakened by Cecilia Grant. The heroine's sex life with her husband was so mid (both because he was boring at best and because of her own hangups) that she just lays there like a corpse after telling the hero to knock her up for plot reasons. It takes a while for her to actually engage and learn how to enjoy it.

The Duchess in His Bed by Lorraine Heath. Another one where the heroine is trying to get a dude to knock her up after her husband dies for heir reasons! The husband in this case really wasn't bad, but the fires, they were not a-lightin'. And then she ends up tangling with an incredibly slutty Trewlove hero, always a good move.

Waking Up with the Duke by Lorraine Heath. Jayne's sex life with her husband before he became impotent doesn't sound baaaaad per se, but definitely not exciting and NOTHING close to what she experiences with Ainsley. Also, I wanna call out that it is actually really shitty that her husband didn't even try to be romantic with her after the accident that rendered him impotent. Like yeah, your sex life may not be the SAME after that, but it can EXIST, and while what happened to him was horrible, closing the door on a romantic relationship with a spouse who loved him and couldn't leave was just such an asshole move. (CLIFFORD CHATTERLEY.)

The Many Sins of Lord Cameron by Jennifer Ashley. Lmao actually the heroine is named Ainsley in this one. Anyway, I think her sexual encounters were mid at best, she's a widow, she had this one incredibly charged makeout with Cameron while her husband was alive but it didn't go any further... And now she's getting, shall we say, wrung the fuck out.

For My Lady's Heart by Laura Kinsale. Melanthe is in general one of those ice queen heroines where you get the sense that she thinks it's kinda not possible for her to super connect with someone in that way...? Her husband was actually very kind and she did love him, but it wasn't a romantic love situation--almost more daughterly, which is uh, messed up, as he did get her pregnant once so there was a sexual relationship. Yikes! Anyway, her deal with Ruck is much softer and sweeter and what she deserves.

Pippa and The Prince of Secrets by Grace Callaway. FUCK DUDE THIS SHIT. The heroine's husband wooed her and then totally fucked it up during the marriage, such a tool. And so much of this book is about her discovering herself emotionally and sexually with the hero, who was her first kiss when they were kids and is now scarred and ashamed of himself but also deeply capable of throwing it the fuck down. I need to reread this. God.

The Viper and The Recruit by Monica McCarty both star widowed heroines whose husbands frankly were dicks, and they both end up with men (in The Viper he's a grouchy asshole who hates women because of his mean wife which is difficult to sell but it works here, and in The Recruit he's a Hapless Slut who really bit off more than he could chew lol) who actually fuck ridiculous, very happy for them.

The Raven Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt has a widow whose husband actually, I think, got another lady pregnant while he was married to her. Nice! Anyway, she's fully unaware of what good sex is but she does know sex and desire and stuff, which is why it is extra difficult when she starts developing a lust for her ugly (HIDEOUS! HE HAS POCKMARKS!) boss.

Any Duchess Will Do by Tessa Dare has a normal, unwidowed shopgirl heroine who is pretty blunt with the hero about being experienced, but it's all been pretty mid.

Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt has a non-virgin heroine who like... they don't get into it, but I definitely got the sense that she'd only had mid sex. It's honestly very funny because after they fuck for the first time he's like (and he is CRAZY) "huh. you weren't a virgin I guess" and she's like "is that an issue...?" and he's all "oh no I mean if it was non-consensual I'll just have to go kill the dude but if it was consensual I guess I was just surprised anyway on to my evil schemes"

The Perfect Crimes of Marian Hayes by Cat Sebastian is a perfect example. Widowed heroine (who becomes a widow.... very interestingly) whose relationship with her husband was AWFUL. What's cool about her sex life with the hero is that she's basically like "I don't like penetrative sex and I can't get pregnant again ever because I cannot stand it", and he's like "ok cool then" and they have sex in other ways. It's great.

Heartbreaker by Sarah MacLean. I believe Adelaide has had sex before but mentions it being mid, and the Duke of Clayborn's ability to satisfy her praise kink is a game changer lol

The Marquess Makes His Move by Diana Quincy. The heroine is actually married when she meets the hero, and her husband is this shitty motherfucker who has her make these maps, and then HE takes credit for the maps. Anyway, the sex is understandably bleh. THANK GOD FOR THE HERO WHO'S DISGUISED AS A FOOTMAN TO TAKE HIS REVENGE ON HER HUSBAND.

Between the Devil and Desire by Lorraine Heath. Olivia's relationship with her husband wasn't abusive, but it was distant and the sex was basically there to produce an heir and didn't happen after she did. So her entire relationship with Jack Dodger is her suddenly discovering what being horny is like. Which happens immediately after she meets him, much to her chagrin. Like I can't get over how the opening pages in her POV are like "FUCK. SHIT. FUCK." looking at him. She's all "this BEASTLY man" while squirming in her chair

Then Came You by Lisa Kleypas has Lily, who was seduced by this charlatan type. But it was not all he made it out to be, sexually speaking. Enter Alex, with whom she has a SIZZLING tension even though they totally hate each other for sure! This book is what people thought Kanthony was, I'm gonna be real real.

A Scot in the Dark by Sarah MacLean. The heroine is not a widow, but she slept with an artist who again is not all he said he was, which does lead to her having to steal back a nude painting he did of her with the help of her guardian, a Big Scottish Man.

[valkyriehymns]

open to : m, f, nb muse :  tatum ainsley. 25. bisexual. daughter of a serial k*ller. plot : our muses are self - described enemies forced to socialize at a wedding party in a lodge everyone thinks is haunted.

" just want you to know - if this place turns out to be really haunted i'm totally sacrificing you to the ghost in order to save myself. "

[fireyfobbitmedicine]

selling rh and sh dolls on ebay feel free to check out

[gacmediadaily]

We’ve got an early Christmas present for Candace Cameron Bure fans.

TVLine can exclusively reveal the title, premise and first photo from Bure’s annual Great American Family Christmas movie. Premiering in November as part of the network’s “Great American Christmas” slate, A Christmas Less Traveled stars Bure and Eric Johnson (Rookie Blue, Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin) and centers on a down-on-her-luck proprietor who embarks on a life-changing road trip. The official logline reads as follows:

The Dine and Dash Diner has a stack of mounting unpaid bills, forcing its owner, Desi (Bure), to sell her beloved, mint condition, cherry red 1964 Ford F-100, a gift from her deceased father. As Desi visits the vintage truck one last time, she discovers a recorded message from her dad on an old audio cassette. Desi’s dad’s voice sends her and ‘Old Red’ out to retrace her family’s most memorable moments one last time. Just as the journey begins, Desi meets Greyson (Johnson) who offers her a generous payment in exchange for a ride to ‘close the most important deal’ of his life. Little do Desi and Greyson realize the less traveled road will reveal more about each of them than they could have ever known.

Bure serves as an executive producer on A Christmas Less Traveled — a Syrup Studios production in association with Bure’s CandyRock Entertainment.

“A Christmas Less Traveled gently challenges us to truly embrace every moment we share with our families, friends and loved ones,” Bure says in an exclusive statement to TVLine. “It reminds us that forgiving ourselves and others is the pathway to set ourselves free.”

Adds Great American Media president/CEO Bill Abbott: “Filmmakers have been inspired by road trips for as long as movies have been made. In A Christmas Less Traveled, viewers will go on a scenic journey with our characters to celebrate Christmas in communities and with acquaintances, treasuring every heartfelt moment of discovery or remembrance in a vintage vehicle that seems to magically know all the right places to stop.”

Bure previously executive-produced and starred in a pair of Great American Family Christmas movies: 2022’s A Christmas… Present and 2023’s My Christmas Hero. She also served as an EP on 2022’s Christmas on Candy Cane Lane (starring Full House’s Andrea Barber) and 2023’s A Christmas for the Ages (starring Natasha Bure).

Before A Christmas Less Traveled debuts in November, Bure will return to the network to headline another movie: The Ainsley McGregor Mysteries: A Case for the Winemaker, which is slated to premiere in September.

[spongebobafettywap]

There were some weird fans who kept insisting that the "Nightcrawler was inspired/based on Michael Jackson" statement is really really true but that Marvel's editorial didn't allow any references to him because of MJ's controversies so the writers had to be subtle about it hence why it was always there. The average reader just "couldn't see it" and only big infinite IQ fans can tell...

So their logic here is that Marvel would have a problem with this character from 1975 making references to a pop star that only got big as a solo singer in the 80s and whose controversies only started in the 90s tied to his change in appearance from events outside of his control (like that pepsi ad fire that burned his hair) and criminal charges against him that had no evidence and he was acquainted for... Yet Marvel had no issue with that same character making explicit references to Errol Flynn ??

Errol Flynn

The man behind America's first sex scandal in 1943 tied to SAing 2 minors which he got acquitted for... Only for the police to meet him some time after the trial loitering on highschool grounds watching teenage girls and when asked what he was doing simply said he was "admiring the view"

A man who tricked natives in New Guinea into indentured servitude aka legalized temporary slavery while he actively enjoyed the advantages of colonization there

A man who used to work in tobacco plantations where he admitted to SAing native workers there regardless of their age because "age didn't matter there"

All of which he revealed in his autobiography from 1959

Nightcrawler referencing MJ was a no-no but Errol Flynn was a-okay?? The f ?

What kind of drugs do these fans take to think this makes any sense

Okay so in addition to needing to learn the definitions of words before using them, X-men fans also need to learn history. Because how can Nightcrawler be based on Thriller Michael Jackson if he predates that look by 8 years lmao. I'm writing this out to educate people who want to learn rather than talk to anyone who insist on things they aren't sure of being right. I'm also probably in the best position to shut this down as I'm a big fan of Michael Jackson and Nightcrawler and if I wanted to connect the two then I obviously would wouldn't I? I still think if MJ was in a X-men movie he should have played Nightcrawler.

And yeah thats another anachronistic thing, Michael only had serious controversies in the early 90s, before that it was just the late 80s insisting he was weird due to British Tabloids starting that type of crap.

I'm actually shocked at all this about Errol Flynn, I didn't know this but bare in mind I seldom hear him referenced in anything beyond Nightcrawler's earlier stories and one time when I saw Ainsley Harriett cooking a Pineapple Jam Toasted Sandwich on a youtube video.

I'm wondering was Errol Flynn's reputation harmed by the things he did? because White Celebrities especially back then could literally do whatever and get away with it, Black celebs like MJ only need unproven claims to start damaging their reputation.

Because if so then wtf was Claremont thinking by referencing Errol Flynn???

[wixcollective]

Anon Night Links~

Links to all participating characters' ask pages below the cut!

Dylan

Jeremy

Sol

Robin

Maeko or Oz

Piper

Nate or another f***ing Pinnock

Shosh or Sascha

Quinn

Theo

The Free Trader Beowulf Safehouse

Loxley

Sonder

Rhett

Katie

Penny

Freddy

Verlie

Dani

Justin

Squib City Bitch (Delilah + Axel)

Val

Ainsley

Linden

Clem

Elliot

Max

Dona or Catelyn or Joulie

Kamala

Cass

Xiomara or Leocadie or Aurelie

Kyrie or Kalani

[ofdamnation]

muse(s)  :  ainsley lauder , 25 , bisexual . plot  :  the: we’re hooking up no strings attached but I see you w/ someone else and follow / start a fight possible  connections  : m / f / nb  .

all she sees is red and before she knows it she's following them as they wander off to a quiet corner , hand gripping on their counterpart's tresses as she pulls her back by them before retracting backwards to defend herself if need be . ' what the fuck is this ? ' / @wtrmelonsuga liked for a starter!

[yandere-fics]

Ainsley's NSFW Alphabet

♡ A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) ♡

Of course she has to take proper care of you after an experiment, she can't have her cute test subject breaking on her, then she wouldn't be able to run another experiment on you for a few days. Not that she doesn't also enjoy taking care of you and worry about your health but she goes into a bit of analytical mode when she's running these tests on you.

♡ B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) ♡

On both of you it has to be the eyes, how marvelous is it that with your eyes you were able to achieve love at first sight, eyes truly are a very joyous thing for you, they even allow her to watch you for hours on end as your eyes roll back into your head from the multiple sessions of testing you're helping her perform. It's wonderful how much of a gift this part of her body is to her, truly a gift of fate perhaps.

♡ C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) ♡

Well she's obviously going to bottle yours and taste it, it would be lovely to mix some in with the mystery drink she drinks every morning, she won't let you know she's doing that though or you might try to pour it out and she can't really have you wasting such a valuable substance, and by that she means both the mystery drink and your bodily fluids. If it's in the omegaverse she's going to use your fluids to make something that will induce a rut in her. Also either way her cum is a mystery liquid and you don't want to know what it is anyways.

♡ D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) ♡

She doesn't even need to mix your blood with anything for it to affect her like an aphrodisiac, you would think she was the vampire with the way it affects her, she rarely touches it because if she indulged herself in it too much no experiments would ever get done accurately, it doesn't work with anyone else's blood either so it's starting to feel like her weird soulmate thing is true.

♡ E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) ♡

She has a lot of experience but not with experimenting sexually, she's been waiting to be able to run these sorts of tests until she finds someone she loves, they mean a lot to her and how could she run them on just some random person, these are meant to sort of bond the both of you and combine your interests.

♡ F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) ♡

She has a very comfortable padded table where she likes to have you lay in the center, it makes it easy for her to poke and prod at you while she records your reactions. She does like to bend you over the examine table and slowly fuck you after her experiments are over sometimes though. She tries not to because it might mess with her record keeping but she really can't help herself when you look so lovely like that.

♡ G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) ♡

She's entirely serious, she'd have to be in order to make sure the results of her testing are properly recorded. She also expects you to take it seriously, don't muffle your sound dear or she'll have to get one of those gags that open your mouth, please she needs accurate data on how this makes you squeal, you wouldn't want her to have to test it again because you fucked up the results, would you?

♡ H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) ♡

She's very fluffy down there, you aren't going to see it very often since she uses magic much more often. The carpet does not match the drapes, it's a dark black color whereas her hair is ashy blonde almost like the color has been stripped from it. She doesn't dye her hair, years of prolonged magic exposal has stripped it of it's color and vitality, she uses severe conditioner or it will frizz the fuck out and probably all fall off.

♡ I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) ♡

She just makes it feel so clinical at time, sure she can absolutely take a pause for the experimentation and just do it regularly with you but this for her does feel romantic, she's including you in her magic so it's bonding and very romantic in her eyes, fine she'll do it your way if you want but you had better promise you won't squirm away as much next time she wants to run another test.

♡ J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) ♡

You can't really tell if she does get off, I mean she sure looks happy after your experiments but did she get off? When she does fuck you too, something definitely cums out but honestly it's just as likely that she has let something weird out inside you just to act like she came for the sake of the experiment. She definitely doesn't jack off.

♡ K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) ♡

Magic and blood play. She saves things related to your blood for very very special occasions though. She does want to use a knife and mark you with it but that would be unrelated to the tests she's running unless she's testing a blood thickener or something. She often will make you consume her blood to see if it will affect you the way yours affects her. She might use yours if she's feeling spicy since it has an aphrodisiac effect on her.

♡ L = Location (favorite places to do the do) ♡

Only in her tower, it's the best place to remove any variables that could mess with her results since her tower is set up the same every time she wants to experiment with you.

♡ M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) ♡

She wants to learn more about you and how your body responds to certain things she does with it, what gets you to whimper, what makes you whine, and what makes you moan at the top of your lungs for more. If she wants to know everything about you then it means she has to do lots of testing.

♡ N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) ♡

She won't share you, she'd murder everyone else in the kingdom and resurrect someone forcing them to look and act like her and be her puppet if you really want a threesome, there's surely someone who would be compatible to be resurrected as her duplicate in the whole kingdom, she just have to keep killing until she finds them.

♡ O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) ♡

I don't think you want to give with what she's packing just saying, the mystery liquid doesn't taste very good and while having it inside you makes you feel a state of tranquility and expedited healing, drinking it makes you feel a little bit light headed and a bit like a cat on catnip so probably best to avoid doing that too often. She won't make you do that anyways since doing it often might fuck with her results. She often does experiments involving your cum, making it thicker, making it wetter, making you produce more juices and part of that is tasting it so she often eats you out.

♡ P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) ♡

It's slow and steady because that enables her to take proper notes as everything happens, sure she could speed up but that would introduce too many variables to measure, was it the speed, was it the heat produced by the speed, was it that you're extra exhausted now, she can't tell and it fucks up the experiment.

♡ Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) ♡

Quickies don't allow for enough note taking and if she pauses in the middle of the experiment to have a quickie with you then it might skew the results since now so is introducing herself as an unexpected variable. Thus quickies are a no go.

♡ R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) ♡

This whole thing is an experiment to her, of course she likes to experiment and take risks, so long as they happen in her safe magic tower where she can make sure they are conducted in a safe manner with very few variables. During it outside would introduce too many variables to get accurate clear results.

♡ S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) ♡

She can do this all day but she'll keep the experiments limited to a few hours because she doesn't want there to be too many variables like exhaustion included. She would like you to be fully recovered before the next test which will take longer if she leave the experiment running too long.

♡ T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) ♡

They aren't exactly toys, she took the models that Elisha designed and decided they weren't nearly creative enough since they didn't include magic and by infusing a bit of her will into the things she made she could make them specifically designed to crave being inside her darling. They also can tease themselves to do better each time she turns them on.

♡ U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) ♡

She's not trying to tease you she was merely testing to see what your reaction would be if she pulled on your nipple will it was covered in the 'goo' compared to how it reacts when she pulls on it not covered in the 'goo'. Sorry you took it as teasing baby girl, she didn't mean for you to get that impression.

♡ V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) ♡

Honestly I think I would punch her because she mostly just sits in the corner writing her stupid little notes and making small comments to herself about how this potions seems to make you too woozy to respond and she needs to lower the wooziness in her next batch. If you try to talk to her she'll probably either ask you to tell her more how you're feeling or shush you because she has to document this.

♡ W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) ♡

If she uses magic all day then her hair looks greyer and then when you wake up is's gone back to a more normal ashy blonde. This is because the magic uses her vitality and then she uses blood to return some of the vitality to herself and it returns to a better shade. If she stopped using magic in general and keeps taking the blood it would likely return to black but she never gives it enough recovery time to return to black.

♡ X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) ♡

She certainly fucks you with something, you're pretty sure it's a real dick because something comes out of it though if you look at it you might die because that is not the color of a real dick which just makes you highly concerned about what is coming out of it and going into you. It's best not to think about the mystery substance. Anyways she's pretty thick, very bulky, not as much as Nora but she's got a decent amount of meat on her, almost dad bod especially with her flat chest. It really fits the dress shirts she's always wearing well.

♡ Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) ♡

Her overall natural yearning is pretty low, she only really wants it when she gets really really inspired to test something out otherside she's fine just hanging out with you, if she doesn't have any questions she wants to test then she's unlikely to initiate although it's extremely rare for her to not have something she wants to test with you.

♡ Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) ♡

You don't know if you've ever actually seen her sleep, sure she lays in bed with you idly chattering about which experiment she wants but whenever you wake up she's always up before you and you always see her drinking that weird coffee drink so you're pretty sure that just keeps her semi permanently awake.