#aight thats enough tags for today

[aneldrichentity]

210916 Stray Kids Japan Second Single Scars

Teaser Pictures

[satoruvt]

words you never could say

...and i’m torn apart.

pairing → lee seokmin x reader, some kim mingyu x reader, and also seokmin x oc for a hot minute

word count → 10956

genre → fluff, a lil angst, high school au (only for a sec), college au, slice of life ↳ tags: man aight. love rosie au without the kid (right person wrong time kinda deal), childhood friends to lovers, i was writing this whole thing like “poor mingyu”, pushing the seokmin theater major agenda, mc does not know how to handle anything ever, PROM?!?!, airport moments (tm), unusual amounts of “hi”s and “hey”s, pov you are in love with lee seokmin, seokmin has a disney+ account, Oh My God I’m In Love moments (tm), PINING, when u and ur best friend are in love with each other but too stupid to do anything about it, pain but only for a second, mingyu is trying but it is not working, oh to hold seokmin’s hand...

synopsis → the timing is just never right, is it?

warnings → i think theres some swearing, mc drinks one time, little mentions of anxiety here and there, uhh i think thats it <3

a/n → @seokmingiggles​ LANNIE!!!!!!! omg when i got u for this exchange event i was so excited <3 i’d like to personally apologize for the length of this LMAO i really didn’t mean for it to get this long but.... here we are 🤡HAHAHA i knew immediately that i wanted to do something special for u and i’ve had this idea locked away in my wips for a while and i thought it’d be perfect. u are the coolest and i love seeing u on my dash. pls enjoy this, seokmin loves u lots <333

for @ficscafe​ fic exchange event!

the title comes from epitaph by hippo campus, which is included on a cute playlist i made for this fic <3

sixteen.

“I had a dream last night,” Seokmin tells you.

You hum and open your eyes just enough to look over at him, resting on your elbows in the grass. He’s lying down fully, face dotted with the harsh light of the summer’s afternoon sun. You were supposed to have a picnic today, but it really just ended up being too-expensive ice cream and sitting under one of the only trees in the park because it’s so hot. “What was it about?” You ask.

Seokmin looks back at you, moves so one of his arms supports his head. “Ah, really,” he starts. The tips of his ears are red; from the sun or from something else, you’re not sure. “About you, honestly.”

“Oh, I’m honored,” you respond. Seokmin giggles and you laugh with him, ask him why the dream was about you, what you were doing. It doesn’t really surprise you that he dreamed about you - you’ve been friends for years, it’d be weird if the two of you never dreamt about each other.

“It was so weird,” he says with an equally weird face, and you raise an eyebrow at him. “We were in this field or something, and you were, like, miles away from me, but I could still see you clearly. We were facing each other even when we were so far away, and you had an apple on your head.”

Seokmin sits up as you give him a confused look and he holds his hand up as if to tell you to wait, it gets weirder. 

“Suddenly I have a bow and arrow in my hand. And I take the arrow and I shoot it at you, at the apple. It’s a clear shot,” he holds his arm completely straight in front of him, finger pointing at you. “I know I’m gonna hit it, even when you’re so far away. But then this entire forest just emerges from the ground, and then I’m thinking I won’t hit you at all. I won’t even come close.”

You do a poor job at hiding the amused smile on your face when Seokmin’s so serious about this. “Okay,” you say, a sign of moderate encouragement. His eyes are bright when he looks at you.

“But I just know that I hit you,” he says.

“Dream logic,” you add thoughtfully.

“Yes.” He leans back on one of his hands, the other shielding his eyes from a line of sun that breaks through the leaves. “The arrow swerves through all the trees, dodges everything, somehow, and hits the apple. And then it’s like I blink and we’re not so far apart anymore, we’re standing right in front of each other.”

A couple of kids running after a frisbee laugh and you wonder if Seokmin’s dream happened here. The park’s certainly large enough. If you think about it, you can almost picture the two of you on opposite sides. 

“You’ve got the apple in your hands, you’re getting the juice all over the place, but then I look at you, and you smile at me. And then I woke up.”

There’s a second of barely-quiet, a breeze rustling the leaves of the tree and cooling you for just a moment. You nod like you’re thinking, considering his dream, and then say, “yeah, dream you was definitely trying to kill me.”

“Hey! We don’t know that!”

“Oh, come on! You shot the arrow at me, you hit the apple by luck, and the reason I was smiling at the end was because I was still alive!”

Seokmin grumbles before ripping out a handful of grass from the ground and throwing it at you, laughing together as you fall to the ground dramatically, clutching your shirt where blades of grass linger. 

If the dream has any meaning, you don’t remember it.

eighteen.

High school comes and goes and before long it’s the end of your senior year, a world you’re still unfamiliar with waiting for you. It makes you a little emotional, felt in your chest and through the late-spring breeze, like your heart knows everything you consider familiar will soon become a fond memory.

You and Seokmin have had to same plan for years. 

“Weird to think that in a year we’ll be finishing our first year of college,” he says one day during a free period. You’re both sitting outside, enjoying a post-lunch snack of boba tea and muffins from your favorite restaurant (courtesy of you having your driver’s license and Seokmin offering to pay). You nod, taking a sip of your drink.

“In a different country,” you add.

And, well. Neither of you have received your acceptance letters yet, but Seokmin is Seokmin, and you’re not worried about him. Any performing arts college would be lucky to have him, even if it happens to be half a world away. You know he’ll get in, it’s just a matter of time. You applied for a general college in the same city - a little easier for you, but still with him. The two of you had gathered up in his room months ago to fill out your separate applications and send them at the same time like it might make a difference.

Seokmin says, “crazy.”

You say, “yeah.”

The conversation drifts into plans for the upcoming end-of-the-year dance, which you expect to be the usual. Go with Seokmin, actually be at the event for no more than an hour, head back to either your or Seokmin’s house to spend the night watching movies and trying not to make too much noise laughing when he inevitably does something stupidly funny. 

You expect things to be easy. Familiar like always before things start to really change.

-

Evidently, the change you’re nervous about hits a little earlier than you expected.

Seokmin gets asked to prom by a girl in your grade, someone named Sarai. She’s pretty and sweet and talked to Seokmin enough for him to say yes (although he checks with you about it first, which, however sweet, seems a little unnecessary). You’re not upset - it’s not as if you can’t still hang out with him at the dance. Your after-prom plans with him still stand, and you remind him of such. Plus, you’re excited to tease him just a little bit about his first real date to anything. And once Seokmin’s found a date, the universe shifts just a little bit more when Mingyu asks you to the dance.

(You’re surprised, but you say yes, because you’ve been partnered with him enough in class projects to know he’ll make sure you have a good time. He’s sweet and funny and laughs when Seokmin threatens him about what’ll happen if he treats you badly. The “threats” are half-assed and Seokmin apologizes for them later.)

And then the universe does a total 180 when you receive a letter in the mail from the college you applied to months ago and it starts with the words we regret to inform you like it really matters to them at all. On prom day, too.

It kills your mood, for sure, but you don’t exactly have much time to worry about it… it’ll just make Seokmin upset, too. You’ll tell him later. Tonight will be good, you’ll deal with it all later. You get ready for the dance a little lackluster, but it’s okay.

Soon enough Mingyu’s picking you up from your house, slipping a corsage onto your wrist and smiling through your family’s unavoidable need for pictures. He cracks jokes on the way to the school and you laugh at them but you know he can tell something’s up. He doesn’t say anything about it.

Once you actually get into the dance and meet up with Seokmin and Sarai, you do forget about things for a while. You spend time cringing at the music playing a little too loud over the speakers, laughing at Seokmin and Mingyu having what can barely be considered a dance battle. It’s easy to get swept up in the moment, and you’re thankful for the distraction.

After you waste your energy on the dance battle (you were brought in against your will, but you still won by a landslide) you tell the group that you’re a little overheated and going to cool off outside. You seat yourself on the steps outside of the gym, take in a deep breath of outside air.

And it… hits, a little, right then. That you’re not leaving with Seokmin. He got his acceptance letter a few days ago, and he’s leaving, and you should have applied to other schools, but application fees are expensive and you really just thought that you’d get in. You thought things would work out okay.

You sniff when the door behind you opens and shuts, music loud and then quiet, wiping what little tears escaped away. Mingyu sits down next to you too fast for him not to know what you’re trying to do, so you give up easily. A second of quiet passes, filled with crickets and the ruffling of your clothes as you move idly. 

“Sorry,” you end up saying, voice small. In your peripheral vision, you see Mingyu tilt his head to look at you, and when you look back at him, he’s got a small pout on his face.

“For what?” He asks in response, leaning back on his hands. “You’ve had a bad day. Just ‘cause it’s prom doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel bad.”

Something in his voice makes you want to cry, but you let out a sigh in hopes you can hold off the tears for a little bit longer. “It’s just,” you breathe, feelings your voice shake. “I didn’t get into the college I was supposed to, and Seokmin did, and he’s looking dorms and apartments so far away, and I… I’m not going with him. He’ll be there alone.”

 Mingyu hums. “Have you told him yet?”

“No.”

“Are you going to?”

The answer to that question should be an automatic yes. Even you know that much. You say, “I don’t know.”

Mingyu nods and it surprises you. “I think you should,” he says.

You run your hands over your arms. You know he’s right - he doesn’t even have to explain why he thinks it’s a good idea - but still, you… 

“I don’t want to have to tell him that we have to do this all separately,” you murmur. “We had a plan. I really wanted it to work.”

Mingyu rubs a gentle hand over your back, and the warmth of his palm provides more comfort than these kinds of things usually do. He’s smiling at you when you look over at him, something soft and understanding. “It’ll be rough to be apart from him, but there’s nothing you can do about it now. And sending him off without telling him’ll only be worse in the long run.”

It still makes you nervous. You don’t want to have to take such a big step without Seokmin, and you don’t want him to have to take such a big step without you, either. All of this change is scary as is, and to do it without the one person you’ve counted on for years… well. You know you’ll still have each other, even through timezones and cultures, but it’s not the same as physically being with him. 

You blink away fresh tears as you look at Mingyu, watching him come in and out of focus while you try to get your vision back to normal. He waits, patient, fingers rubbing patterns into the space between your shoulder blades, and you think, briefly, that maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to like him. You lean closer to him so your head rests on his shoulder and he lets you, his hand moving from your back to over your shoulder as you do. “Thank you,” you tell him. “Sorry for being a bad date.”

Mingyu shrugs gently like he’s trying not to jostle you around too much. “You can make it up to me by buying me lunch one of these days.”

-

Despite what Mingyu said on prom night, you don’t tell Seokmin.

Graduation comes and goes, as does the summer. Seokmin asks about your acceptance letter and your answers range from “maybe they’re behind” to “I wonder if I gave them the wrong address” and he accepts them. You spend the months melted into ice cream and at low-light bonfires, in pillow forts at Seokmin’s and LED-lit movie nights at your place. You visit Mingyu on his breaks at work and look for your own job.

(Seokmin asks why you’re looking for work when you’ll just be gone soon, and you tell him a temp job’s money can pay for textbooks.)

It’s a good summer, even if it feels like you’re plagued by a shadow for most of it. You try not to let it get to you (some days you wonder how you manage it). 

Eventually, however… it’s time for Seokmin to leave.

By this point you’ve given up on stalling, and you’ve told him that you’ve received your acceptance letter, you’re just staying behind for a while to tie up some loose ends and make sure everything’s in order. You’re at the boarding gate with him, waiting for his flight to be called.

“So,” he starts, shuffling his carryon bag between his hands. “I’ll see you in a few weeks?”

“Yeah,” you answer, hoping that he can’t hear the lie in your voice. “A few weeks. I’ll text you when I’m done with everything.”

Seokmin pulls you into a hug and you hold onto him for dear life, because whether you’re coming or not, it’ll be a while before you see him again. You’re a little comforted by the fact that he seems reluctant to go, too, his face buried in your neck. You think you hear him sniff and it’s almost comical. 

When you pull away from the embrace, you don’t distance yourself, keeping your forehead against his. You refuse to open your eyes, a little too afraid of what you will or won’t see, a little too caught up in all this moment might mean to you, in all that Seokmin means to you. His breath dances over your lips and you lean into it, a hint of something in uncharted territory. A new feeling, a different rush.

His plane is called to board and you break away for real, this time, your eyes opening as you feel Seokmin’s arms slip from around your body. You don’t have time to think about whatever feeling rushed through you.

“Have a safe flight, okay? Call me if you need anything.”

Seokmin smiles, big and bright, says, “‘kay. I’ll see you soon.”

But you don’t see him for a while after that.

nineteen.

“Have you told Seokmin yet?”

Mingyu’s tone is innocently inquisitive, but you know better when he’s been asking the same question every few days for almost an entire year. “Seokmin stopped asking,” you respond, taking a bite of your sandwich as the early-spring breeze ruffles your hair.

Seokmin did stop asking about when you’d be following him to college. You think he figured it out a long time ago - a month into the school year and you were still nowhere to be found - but it’s been harder and harder to talk to him at all, given he’s busy with school and you have little energy between shifts at work. The time difference doesn’t help much, either.

“What do you mean he stopped asking?” Mingyu scoffs, and you shrug, picking off a stray blade of grass from your picnic blanket (Mingyu’s idea for today’s lunch date, since it’s started to get warmer outside).

“I mean he stopped asking,” you say. “It’s been hard to talk to him lately.”

A second passes with neither of you talking before Mingyu murmurs something along the lines of “can’t believe you didn’t tell him” and you roll your eyes, taking a chip from the bag you brought and throwing it at him. You feel bad about it - you think you always will - but there’s nothing you can do about it now, really.

The two of you eat together in lighter conversation, drifting from one topic to the next, enjoying company. He makes stupid jokes and you pretend they’re not funny, but it never lasts long and you can’t help a few giggles from slipping out.

And then he says, “you know, I always thought you and Seokmin would get together.”

You blink at him a few times, then furrow your brows. “Like, dating?”

“Yeah,” he laughs, wiping his hands free of crumbs. “Everyone did, really.”

You’ve never thought of it that much - you figured you’d get a few people here and there asking when you and Seokmin would actually start dating (you did, and it still shocks you) but you’ve never… seriously considered it. Mingyu asks you as such and you shake your head, honest. He looks at you with an unreadable expression.

“Seokmin… he looked at you like he was in love with you.”

For a second you think about the airport, about being so close to him you couldn’t focus on anything else, the moments spent in a different world, but you shake it out of your mind. “You know Seokmin,” you say. “He’s a little bit in love with everything.”

Mingyu hums. “He’s not the only one who looked at you like that.”

He says it so casually you almost miss it completely. You look at him and he’s looking at something else, and it reminds you of partnering with him in class and when he’d send you homework answers when you missed school, reminds you of prom and sitting outside the gym with him, your head on his shoulder and his arm around you.

You say, “Mingyu?”

He says, “sorry, I really wanted this to be better.”

It hits in a second and you’re practically falling over yourself to get to him, hands on his shoulders while you shake him ruthlessly. “Wait, are you being serious?” You demand, barely listening to his protests. “What the hell, are you really -”

Mingyu pushes you off of him, gentle, and you just stare at him like you’ll get an answer without saying anything. You only find half of the words. “How long have you…”

He’s just as flustered as you, it seems, but he understands what you’re trying to say. He scratches the back of his head in a nervous tick you remember him telling you about once. “Since… maybe junior year? The middle of junior year.”

“Why did you say anything?”

His smile is bittersweet. “Well, I thought you were dating Seokmin,” he says. “And when I found out you weren’t, I figured it’d only be a matter of time before you were, so I think I forgot about it for a while. But, I don’t know, we got so close this last year, and I know it’s only because Seokmin’s gone -”

“No, Mingyu, what?” You interrupt before you can think about it. He looks at you and it breaks your heart to think that he’s been feeling this way for so long. “Seokmin is my best friend, but I never saw you as a replacement. You’re you, not him, and I…”

There’s something in the way Mingyu looks at you now, a sliver of fondness steeped in the dark of his eyes. “You?”

You feel like falling. “...I wouldn’t mind a date. Sometime. With you.”

Mingyu grins so wide it makes your heart pound.

-

It takes a few dates and a few more kisses, but eventually you and Mingyu are officially dating. Summer comes in what feels like record time but it’s good, spending your time working and liking Mingyu, feeling like slow-melting honey. You think you might have enough money for your own apartment, soon.

It happens on a completely normal day.

You’re standing at the register post-lunch rush, meaning there probably won’t be many customers for the next few hours. The health of your nails is a lot more interesting than looking around a restaurant you’ve been familiar with since you were thirteen, so you don’t even notice that a customer’s come in until you hear and quiet ahem in front of you.

You manage to get out “oh, gosh, sorry, how can I -” before you realize that it’s Seokmin.

Seokmin, standing in front of you, hair a warm brown instead of the black you saw him leave with. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and smiles at you.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hey,” he says back.

-

Your manager is kind enough to let you take your break early, and you grab your and Seokmin’s favorites from the menu before sitting down with him. He speaks first, like he’s been thinking about this for a while. 

“So,” he starts, and you raise an eyebrow at him from across the table. “You’re still living here.”

It hits like a brick to your chest and you chuckle as some sort of self defense, choosing to start with a winded “yeah, about that,” before telling Seokmin what happened. In all honesty, it’s not hard to be solemn about it - you feel guilty, and even more so, just sad. You missed out on so much with him, a years worth of new memories.

When you’re done, he says, “okay.”

“‘Okay’? You’re not mad?” You ask, incredulous. Seokmin shakes his head, hair bouncing with the movement.

“No… I mean, I’m upset, but I’m not mad,” he says. “It was hard for you, and that’s okay. I just wish you would’ve told me.”

You nod, leaning back in your seat while Seokmin takes another bite of his food. “I was worried you wouldn’t leave at all,” you tell him. “And after you left, I guess I was worried that you’d come back.”

“Eh, maybe.”

“Maybe? Maybe?”

But it’s easy like it always is with Seokmin, and when your break is over and you have to get back to work he tells you that he’ll see you again when your shift is over. You grin at him when he leaves and he grins back, and despite the surprise, you’re excited that he’s visited. You’ve missed your best friend.

You see him again when he meets you at your place, waiting for you to change out of your work clothes and so he can say hi to your family since it’s been so long. He’s paging through a magazine on your bed while you finish up getting ready in your bathroom.

“Are you dating anyone?” He asks suddenly, and an automatic grin flushes over your face as you stick your head in the doorway to look at him.

“Yeah, actually,” you say, and Seokmin’s eyes widen. “Mingyu and I started dating a little bit ago.”

“Mingyu,” Seokmin echoes, almost like he can’t believe it. “Mingyu from high school? That Mingyu?”

“Yes?” You respond, matching his confused tone. Seokmin turns back to your magazine.

“The threat still stands,” he whispers dramatically. “I’ll have to tell him again.”

You laugh openly, rolling your eyes as you leave your bathroom to find your shoes. You’re not exactly sure where the two of you are going tonight, but you figure it doesn’t matter. You’re tying up the laces on your second shoe when Seokmin speaks again.

“I’m happy for you, though,” he says. There’s something in his voice - in his face - that you can’t decipher. “Mingyu’s good.”

It makes you happy, proud, even, and you make it known with a large grin. The rest of the night is simple, nostalgic in a way you haven’t felt for a while as the two of you drive down familiar streets and listen to old songs you used to love. The sun sets on a day that feels successful and comfortable, and when Mingyu calls you out of the blue later Seokmin does make sure to threaten him again, and this time he finds it in himself to not take it all back immediately (even when he tells you to tell Mingyu he’s sorry later). You think that it’ll be a while before things are this simple again.

twenty-one.

Seokmin answers your call in exactly three and a half rings and with an excited “hey!”

It’s been easier and easier to keep in touch with each other now that you both have a better grasp on your schedules and you aren’t avoiding him. You manage to find a time to talk to each other that isn’t too early for you or too late for him and vice versa, and at a rate that doesn’t leave the two of you silent for weeks on end. “Hey, Seok.”

He asks you about your week, how things have been going, and you humbly brag about already being promoted at your new job. He sends you a weird look but congratulates you nonetheless, and you flick your camera and he pretends like it hurts.

“What about you?” You ask, laying back in your bed. You hear the front door of your apartment open and close and figure Mingyu’s home (which is still a weird thing to just think, even when it’s been a few months that you’ve lived together). “Anything new and exciting?”

Mingyu must hear you talking, because he doesn’t come into your shared bedroom announcing “honey, I’m home,” like he (obnoxiously) does every day. You smile at him when his face appears in the doorway. “Actually,” Seokmin says from your phone, eyes sparkling even through the bad quality of your camera. Mingyu shuffles around in your peripheral vision. “I was cast in a musical the theater department’s doing.”

Halfway through the phrase “no way” Mingyu decides to collapse directly on top of you, and you let out a gust of air you didn’t even know you could hold in your lungs followed by inevitable giggles. Seokmin makes a confused noise on the other end of the line.

“Hi Seokmin,” Mingyu offers as an explanation, voice muffled from where his mouth is nuzzled into your chest. Seokmin laughs.

“Hi, Mingyu.”

You roll your eyes at your boyfriend’s antics but don’t push him off of you, only shifting a little so that Seokmin can still see your face and you’re not uncomfortable holding the phone up. “Ignore him. Tell me about the musical.”

And he does. He tells you what it’s about, that he got the lead even when he didn’t think he’d have a chance, that the first show is in about a month and a half. You don’t pitch in often, only offering hums and nods and sounds of amazement as Seokmin rattles on happily.

It’s not long after that that you say your goodbyes, bringing your faces too close to your cameras as a new sort of ritual before you hang up. You toss your phone somewhere on the other side of the bed and wrap your arms around Mingyu (who’s been very patient), who leans up to kiss you sweetly, then pepper light kisses all over your face as a greeting.

“Welcome home,” you say through laughter.

It’s a slow night, most of the evening spent in bed watching stupid videos and catching up on new episodes of TV shows both of you watch together. When the sun finally sets Mingyu leaves your blanket cocoon to take a shower and you busy yourself with looking up the cost… of plane tickets. 

Right when you’re finishing up the necessary research is when Mingyu comes out of the shower. “What’re you lookin’ at?” He asks, motioning to your laptop. He sits on the corner of the bed, toweling his hair dry, and you bite your lip.

“Would it be okay if I… booked a trip? For, say, a month and a half from now?”

Mingyu blinks at you. “For Seokmin?”

You nod, pushing your laptop off of your legs to rest on the mattress. “Yeah, I… it’s his first musical, and when we had this whole plan to move together, I told him I’d be there,” you say. “Feels kinda like I owe him, you know? And I miss him. He’s only visited once since that first time.”

Mingyu smiles at you, supportive, and you smile back. “Yeah, whatever you want,” he tells you, standing from the bed. His voice fades as he walks back to the bathroom. “It’ll be good to get away from you for a while.”

“Hey!”

-

A few days before Seokmin’s opening night you land in his city.

The first thought in your head is “oh wow, I’m finally here” and it’s immediately followed by the unnecessary and irrational anxiety funded by the fact that Seokmin doesn’t know you’re here. The whole visit is a surprise. You had stopped by his parents’ house to ask his mom for his address and she had gone the extra mile to tell you he wouldn’t have plans when you were visiting and that he’d be home alone.

(“Are you dating anyone right now?” She had asked when you visited. You told her yes, a mutual friend of yours and Seokmins. “Oh,” she’d said. “That’s a shame. I’d always hoped you and Seokmin would get together. I think he used to have a crush on you.”)

You want it to be a surprise, because it’s been so long since you’ve seen him in person, but at the same time… it’s a little inconveniencing to show up at someone’s house out of nowhere. But you know Seokmin, and he’d never turn you away over it.

After you get your bags you make your way to the entrance of the airport, luckily landing a taxi without waiting too long. Everything is busy and you’re a little overwhelmed, but somehow you can’t help but think that it fits Seokmin to be in a place like this, full of life and warmth like him. The taxi driver asks you where you want to go and you read him the address you were given (Seokmin’s address, your brain emphasizes) and he takes off like he knows exactly where the apartment is.

You’re not sure how much time passes but soon enough you’re in front of Seokmin’s building, entering through the lobby and taking the elevator up to the fourth floor. Your heart feels like it’s pounding out of your chest and the smooth, mindless music coming from the speakers does little to help you calm down. When you get to the right floor you count the doors as you pass them, mumbling Seokmin’s under your breath until the numbers on the plaque finally match the ones you’re telling yourself.

You take a second to calm yourself down, one nice deep breath into your lungs before you knock three times in quick succession. There are footsteps, the turn of the lock, and then…

It’s not Seokmin. It’s a girl. A girl you’ve never seen before.

Both of you stare at each other for a little too long before you snap out of it and ask, tentative, “is there… a Seokmin here?”

Recognition bleeds onto her face and she leans back into the apartment to call out Seokmin’s name, reverberating through the walls. It happens in the same way, all again, a little more distinct to your ears - footsteps, the shuffling of clothes, and then Seokmin is in front of you, real, in the flesh.

(Your Seokmin.)

“Hey,” you greet with a smile that you’ve been trying to hold in since you landed. “Surprise.”

In a step and a half Seokmin’s crushing you in his arms and you’re laughing like it’s the only thing you know how to do, squeezing him back just as hard. He smells like the detergent you’ve always known him to use mixed with another scent you’re unfamiliar with but it still fits him just the same, warm and light and potent. 

“What are you doing here?” Seokmin asks as he lets you go, stepping back into his doorway and making room for you to follow. He grabs one of your bags and you follow him into his apartment.

“Oh, when you told me about your musical I figured I should come and see,” you say once you both stop in the living room. “I promised I would.”

Something moves behind the two of you but you barely notice. Seokmin stands in front of you and for a moment it’s like it was back before you graduated, before he moved and before everything. “Yeah, you did,” he murmurs. 

An ahem sound echoes throughout the room and you remember the girl from earlier, the one who opened the door to Seokmin’s apartment. You spin around while Seokmin makes an “oh!” sound like he just remembered she was there (and you feel kind of bad, but she only rolls her eyes with a smile).

“Sorry,” Seokmin laughs, coming around you to stand by the girl. “This is my friend Ashley. She’s playing the other lead in the musical, we were going over lines.”

You introduce yourself and Ashley is nice, shakes your hand with a firm grip as you tell her your name before she says she should get going. This is what you were anxious about earlier. You tell both of them that you didn’t mean to interrupt and if they needed to keep practicing they could, but Ashley assures you that she was planning on leaving soon anyways and walks out the door calling it was good meeting you!

The door shuts and you’re here in Seokmin’s apartment, and it feels strange… maybe things were always meant to turn out this way, but you can’t help but think that in another lifetime this might’ve been your apartment too, if everything had gone according to plan. You wonder how everything went for parallel universe you.

“So,” you say, looking at Seokmin. “Give me a tour?”

-

The week is spent relaxing and laughing, catching up with Seokmin as he shows you his favorite hang-out spots and restaurants. On a day that he doesn’t have any morning classes the two of you attempt a homemade brunch and you don’t end up setting off the fire alarm. You spend a solid four hours in a private karaoke room that was definitely too much for you to be paying for but Seokmin was going through Twice’s entire discography and you knew better than to try to drag him away from that. 

He reserves a ticket for you for the musical (“Front row, I begged for hours!” He wails when he comes back. He was gone for thirty minutes) and it feels like the time really flies after that, because then it’s opening night and you’re waiting outside the university’s theater. Seokmin had left a few hours earlier than you because, well, he is performing. You’d told him good luck and that you’d be cheering the loudest.

And when the musical starts and he comes on stage you really can’t stop smiling. You’re reminded of when he really decided this is what he wants to do, and you know everything he’s done has led up to this. All he’s for is the stage, for performance, and when he sings you fall into it, losing yourself in the story.

There’s an entire auditorium of people that clap when the play finishes, but based on the looks the people around you are giving you, you’d say you’re at least one of the loudest. And based on the grin Seokmin sends your way when the cast bows, you’d say you’re loud enough for him.

A few minutes after the curtain falls you get a text from him telling you to meet him backstage and you make your way there, finding him waiting at the entrance for you. The first thing you do is tackle him in a hug and he laughs loud, sounding as giddy as you feel, then he takes you backstage with him. He’s wiping off makeup when he tells you about a post-show dinner.

“You should come,” he says, makeup smearing at the corner of his eye. You lean forward, taking the makeup wipe from him and deciding that he’s hopeless at this stuff before gently wiping at his face for him. “It’ll be a lot of fun!”

You purse your lips in thought, then shake your head, grabbing a fresh wipe and rubbing it over the rest of his face. “No, I don’t want to intrude. I wasn’t even a part of any of this, it’d feel weird.”

Seokmin looks at you with puppy eyes, asking if you’re sure, and you nod, flicking him softly in the forehead as both of you laugh.

-

On your way home you pick up a bouquet of flowers and a single cupcake in Seokmin’s favorite flavor, along with a pack of candles. You only need one of them, but you couldn’t find a single candle that wasn’t a number. It’s not much, but you want to give him something. It’s a memorable occasion, anyways.

You make good use of his Disney+ account while you wait for him to come back, and sometime around midnight you hear the jingle of keys and then the lock at the front door turn. You pause your movie (a little bitterly because you just got to the good part of Tangled) and set everything up accordingly, the bouquet on the counter and the cupcake next to it, and you barely manage to light the candle in time before Seokmin enters the room.

“Congratulations,” you call, quiet to mind the neighbors, your hands out to frame the simple gifts as if to say “here you go!”

He crosses through the living room to stand opposite to you on the other side of the counter, watching the flame on the candle intently. The wax drips onto the frosting. “You gotta blow it out, Seok. The wax is gonna get all over it.”

Seokmin asks, “you got this for me?” in a small voice and it’s only when you look at him that you notice his eyes glassy with tears. 

“Oh, Seokminnie, don’t cry,” you say with a gentle laugh, and he sniffs with his own chuckle before leaning down to blow the candle out. You reach a hand over the counter and ruffle his hair while he switches his attention to the bouquet, picking it up and looking at the flowers close up.

And then he looks back at you, ears and the tip of his nose a little red from the almost-crying, smile on his face as usual as ever, but you are - and this is -

You think about that day the two of you hung out in high school, when you went to the park and he told you about a weird dream; you remember the sun on his skin and the way that he spoke. You think about being his date to anything, a routine, familiar, a promise. You think about planning your lives together so you would still be close together even when you’re both old and senile, you think about lost moments, you think about this moment, right here, in Seokmin’s apartment, in a world created by the two of you.

And this… this is being in love. This is being in love with Seokmin. This is realizing.

“Hey,” Seokmin calls, waving a hand in front of your face. You blink a few times. “Did you zone out?”

It takes a second longer than it should for you to respond. “Yeah,” you answer slowly, trying to swallow everything down. You feel hot. “Sorry, yeah.”

“You sure that’s all it is? You look pale.”

You shake your head. Is this really happening? “No, I’m fine, promise. I guess I’m just a little tired.”

Seokmin reaches forward and puts the back of his hand against your forehead to check your temperature. It makes everything worse. “You must be too,” you add, desperate. You don’t know if you want him closer or if you want him far away. “It’s late. You performed in a play today.”

As if on cue, he yawns. You gulp as he takes his hand away to cover his mouth, then nods, his lips forming into a pout. “Yeah, you’re right. Guess we should get some sleep, huh?”

He leaves the flowers but takes the cupcake with him to his bedroom, a giddy and innocent “goodnight” called over his shoulder before his door shuts. You unfold a few blankets onto his couch, turn off the lights, and will yourself to go to sleep like it might make the feeling go away.

Do I want it to go away?

You refuse to answer.

-

You try to push it all back, at least for the rest of the trip. Luckily, you only stay another few days before you have to head back home, and you think you do a decent job, even if Seokmin senses something (but he doesn’t ask you about it, which you’re more than thankful for). Unluckily, you have to return home to Mingyu. Your boyfriend. And you don’t know what that might mean for you.

The airport gives you deja vu.

“Thank you for visiting,” Seokmin tells you at your gate, and you smile at him.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you say, feeling your heart clench in your chest. “I’ll be back soon.”

For some reason it’s not any easier, despite the fact that he’s been living so far away from you for so long. Maybe… maybe it’s because things are different, at least for you.

“‘Kay,” Seokmin responds, opening his arms wide. You go to him in a second.

And Seokmin has never felt unfamiliar, he’s never been unusual. But it feels different, holding him like this, his hand on your back and his nose in your shoulder. It is so much more and so much worse and you can’t do anything but squeeze him tighter.

He pulls away first and the minimal space between you reminds you of the first time you saw him off at the airport, and now, if you wanted, you could…

It only lasts for a second. (You wonder if it’s a sign.)

You almost tell him, right there, his hands still lingering on you and his scent still attached to your clothes. You almost tell him that the other night, looking at him under his kitchen light, you realized you were in love with him. You open your mouth to, but your throat stops you, and then an automated voice calling for your gate interrupts you before you even get a chance.

(You wonder if that’s a sign, too.)

You can’t, you remind yourself. Not yet, at least. Not when Mingyu’s at home, waiting for you to get back. Not when he’s waiting for you.

Waiting for you to come around, it seems.

-

You get home and things seem normal, like nothing changed. The world keeps spinning, you suppose. Mingyu picks you up from the airport but somehow holds himself together until you get home, lifting you up and spinning you around, and you can’t help the giggling, don’t stop yourself from kissing him sweetly as a greeting.

But it feels off. Wrong, even. You wish it didn’t.

The weeks pass. You go back to work, face the routine you’ve had for so long now, come home to Mingyu every night until you start to think that maybe this - maybe Mingyu - isn’t worth keeping, when you feel this way about Seokmin. It’s not fair to either of you.

It’s a sunny day when you decide to talk to Mingyu about it. He comes home from work and you let him change into comfortable clothes, hands curled around a mug of coffee at the island when he comes into the kitchen from the bedroom. You say, “I need to talk to you about something.”

He blinks at you but nods, moving to sit on the barstool next to yours. Your heart starts to pound in your chest and you feel your hands start to shake at the force of it, doing your best to hide it by sitting on your palms. 

And you know the words, they’re on the tip of your tongue. They’ve been screaming at you so much for so long that you can taste the syllables in your mouth, the sounds of the letters almost too loud. But you can’t say them. You open your mouth, then close it, then open it again. You look at Mingyu and he smiles.

“Is this,” he starts, pushing hair out of your face, “about Seokmin?”

All you can do is nod, then watch as his hand falls back to his lap. “Ah, I knew it,” he says. You want to throw up. “Never could measure up to him, huh?”

“No,” you say immediately, your voice finally finding its way up your throat. “Mingyu, it was never - it was always me. I’m sorry. It was never you.”

He looks at you and you don’t know what to do. Something like this was never supposed to happen to you, and it was never supposed to happen to someone like Mingyu. It’s all so unfair. 

“I didn’t know,” you tell him, feeling your lip wobble with the threat of tears. You will them away. Something in you breaks anyways. “I didn’t know until I visited him. And it was never - you were never a replacement, you remember when I told you that, right? You weren’t, and I felt something for you, I loved you -”

“Hey,” Mingyu interrupts, pulling your hands into his. You take in a sharp breath and wonder how he can sound so calm. “I don’t blame you.”

It just feels so wrong that you have to do this, that you have to break him like this. He doesn’t shake like you, but you can see it in the way he moves and how he looks at you. In a second everything changes, and you don’t know what to do, you don’t know what to say anymore. You squeeze Mingyu’s hands and push all of your energy into hoping that the action does something for both of you.

When it all dies down, you pack your suitcase with clothes and leave to stay at your parents’ for a few days. Mingyu watches you leave. 

twenty-two.

Your birthday comes right after you finish moving everything out of your and Mingyu’s apartment. Well. Just Mingyu’s, now. Carrying the last box in your hands, you ask him if he’ll be okay (you feel like a bitch for it), if he still wants you to pay half of the rent until the lease finishes… he tells you he’ll be fine, and it makes you sigh. You move back in with your parents while you look for a new place to live.

It crosses your mind to tell Seokmin how you feel about him.

As you settle into a new routine, it shows up a lot. The wound from your breakup is still fresh - not as big as Mingyu’s, but it stings - so it takes you a little while, but you eventually come to the conclusion that you’ll tell him. You don’t know if he feels the same, and if he doesn’t… you know Seokmin. The worst he’d be is sweet.

A video call is the best you can do right now, so you text Seokmin and arrange a time to call when the time difference isn’t too harrowing. You tell him you’ve got news, and he sends back an excited me too!

And you hope, so foolishly.

(Because Mingyu had told you what feels like a lifetime ago that it’d always seemed like you were dating, and even Seokmin’s mom had said that he might’ve had a crush on you. You know it’s nothing. You still want to think that maybe...)

Your heart races as you listen to the low ring of your phone, waiting for Seokmin to pick up. It’s a quiet night, holed up in your old room, and you get lost in the pictures from high school taped along your mirror and the memorabilia strung along your desk in the form of ticket stubs and notes passed during classes, tiny trinkets as gifts from trips. A photobooth picture of you and Seokmin catches your attention the longest, eyes drifting between the set as younger versions of yourselves make stupid faces at the camera.

Your phone makes a noise that the call’s connected and the first thing you hear is a “hey!” from Seokmin that makes you smile despite your unease. 

“Hey,” you respond, setting your phone upright on your desk and leaning back in your chair. “How are you doing, stranger?”

“Really good,” he answers. “It’s been a while since we called, huh?”

And it has - with everything that’s happened on your end, you’ve found it difficult to make time for an entire call, and you imagine Seokmin’s been busy as well. The two of you drift into small talk that doesn’t feel like small talk because it’s you and because it’s Seokmin, catching up on all the things that you missed during text conversations.

“Wait,” he says eventually, bringing the camera closer to his face. “Are you staying with your parents? That’s your old room, right?”

Here goes, you think. “About that,” you say, nervousness tangible in your voice. “The news I had to tell you. Or, I guess, half of it… Mingyu and I broke up.”

There’s a delayed noise from Seokmin before he straight up screams, and his face is so comical that you almost forget about your nerves completely. “You what?” he demands, shaking his phone back and forth. You find it in yourself to laugh. “Why?”

“Well, that’s the other half,” you say. A fresh rush of anxiety runs through your veins, but you manage it. Realization bleeds across Seokmin’s face and you think he’s figured it out before you even had a chance to tell him yourself.

“Oh god, that makes my news so much worse,” he says instead of what you think he will, and for a second your heart picks up its pace because - does he mean - but wait, that doesn’t make sense -

“What’s your news?” You ask, a little too breathless and a little too urgent for your liking.

“Are you sure you wanna hear it?” He asks in return, hesitant. “It might make you feel bad.”

Why would his confession make you feel bad? Does he know that you’re -

“Tell me.”

It can’t be worse than the kind way you know he’d turn you down…

“Well… Ashley and I started dating.”

Oh. Maybe it can.

“Ashley,” you start, saying her name like you’re forcing yourself to get used to saying it. The world starts to spin around you. “The other lead from the musical?”

“Yeah,” Seokmin says. “I didn’t… I don’t want to rub it in your face or anything, I didn’t know -”

“No, it’s okay, Seok,” you tell him, mustering a soft smile. “I’m happy for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

And you are, you could never not be happy for Seokmin, especially when he’s smiling like that and the tips of his ears are red because he’s a little embarrassed. He scratches the back of his neck before saying, “oh, but you never told me why you and Mingyu broke up? You said that was the other half.”

You say, “we can talk about it later,” and then, like it doesn’t hurt, “tell me about her.”

Seokmin grins like he used to grin at you and you can’t help but wonder…

(When did he stop? Why did you never notice? How did it go from being your smile to hers?)

Oh, well. Maybe you’ll never know.

twenty-three.

A few more months pass before you see Seokmin in person again, and it’s not by your own will.

Maybe that’s harsh. He’s graduating and invites you to come, and you tell him you’ll be there because you know you’d regret it if you didn’t go, feelings aside.

Feelings… you thought it would go away. You thought your heart would cut it out after Seokmin told you he was dating someone, but it seems no part of you got the memo, because you’re more than nervous to see him again. On the bright side, you won’t be there for as long as you were the last time you visited.

(But then it gets confusing, because you want to spend time with him, but you can’t be around him for too long without losing it. You can barely properly handle a phone call.)

On the flight you reserve a room at a hotel not far from Seokmin’s apartment, since his parents are staying with him and you don’t want to crowd it further. You go through the motions, checking into your hotel room before heading over to Seokmin’s to visit with everyone for a while. It’s almost easy for a bit, laughing with his parents about old memories and tales from a childhood that seems so long ago. You manage to make it through, leaving a little early with the excuse that jetlag has you tired and you don’t want to sleep in past your alarm for tomorrow.

In retrospect, college graduation isn’t that much different than high school, even if you’re just watching this time. You sit with Seokmin’s parents up in the bleachers of the venue they’re holding the ceremony in, scream at the top of your lungs when Seokmin’s name is called and he walks across the stage with a big smile. When it’s all over you meet up with him outside.

“You’re a big-shot, now,” you tease him, pulling at the strands of his tassel. He laughs.

Eventually Ashley finds her way over to your group, her arm immediately winding itself around Seokmin’s torso. You try not to stare, try even harder not to avoid them both completely. Seokmin says, “a few classmates are hosting a graduates party, do you wanna come?”

It’s instinct to shake your head. “I never went to college, Seokminnie,” you remind him, and he rolls his eyes.

Ashley says, “you should still come. I know it’s been a while since you two hung out. It could be fun.”

Despite whatever you feel towards Ashley - you don’t hate her, but it’s hard not to feel something negative towards her - you appreciate the push, and she’s right, either way. It’s been a while since you last saw Seokmin, and, well… maybe you just need to learn how to be around him, now. 

And it is fun, for the most part. You’re not a total stranger to parties, having been to a few when Mingyu would insist on dragging you out of the house, and it’s not all plastic red cups and screaming like you thought it’d be. You have a good time, making small talk with a few girls in the kitchen while getting drinks, laughing way too hard with Seokmin, and even talking to Ashley doesn’t sting as much as it did before. 

(It still aches, but it’s slower. Maybe it’s just the alcohol you’ve had.)

But eventually she pulls Seokmin away from you, even when he sends you a sympathetic smile. You wave him off, tell him he’ll find you later. You make your way out to the porch of the house (you’re wondering how the hell someone your age has an entire house but choose not to think about it too much for the sake of your head) because inside’s getting a little stuffy, walking past a few people already outside to sit on the front steps. You scroll through your phone, take occasional sips of your now-lukewarm drink.

The door opens, letting out a gentle blast of music and overlapping voices, and you hear Seokmin say, “oh, there you are!” before the door closes again. You turn around and smile at him, watching as he sits down next to you, grunting, “I thought I lost you.”

It makes you huff out a laugh. You hear the front door open and close again as the other people on the porch head back inside. “Just wanted some air.”

The two of you delve into soft conversation, but you can tell Seokmin wants to talk about something else. You bet it’s about Mingyu (you never told him why you broke up, never had the guts) or about how you’ve been acting differently. A space of quiet filled with crickets and distant bass surrounds you and you speak before he can ask, before you can think too much.

“Did you know everyone thought we’d end up together?” You ask, sparing a glance at him. “Like, dating?”

He chuckles a bit, says, “yeah, my mom was our number one fan.”

It makes something solemnly sweet bloom in you. You offer a small smile anyways, turn back to the neighborhood in front of you. “No, really, everyone. I didn’t realize it was such a big thing.”

You hear Seokmin blow out a puff of air. He sounds like he’s pouting the way he does when he’s thinking when he speaks again. “Yeah, me either, I guess. What does this…”

He doesn’t finish, and he doesn’t have to. You say, “Mingyu thought we would. Date, I mean.”

Seokmin stays quiet. You’ve waited so long now to tell him why you and Mingyu even broke up in the first place, and now that you’re here… what are you even supposed to say? How are you supposed to tell him everything in a way that’s equal parts kind and understanding, in a way that doesn’t sound like you’re begging for him to love you, too?

“...Is that why you guys broke up?” Seokmin asks. “Did he think we had something going on?”

You say “yes and no” through a breathy, nervous laugh. When you find it in yourself to look at Seokmin again he looks more confused than you felt when you first realized…

“Yes and no?”

Now or never, right?

“He didn’t think we had something going on,” you say. Your chest fills with a familiar feeling, something like butterflies, a little less poetic. Maybe moths. “But I…”

Seokmin doesn’t say anything, but he looks like he knows where you’re going with this. You let yourself say it because there’s nothing else you can say.

“When I came down to watch your musical,” you tell him, softly. “I think that’s when I realized I love you.”

It feels like you did something wrong, like you’re confessing to a crime, like you’re in court and everything you do is being watched. But the ground doesn’t crack beneath your feet when you say it, stars don’t start falling from the sky, a hurricane doesn’t start destroying everything in its path. The world stays still despite your pounding heart.

“You what?” Seokmin asks. It might be rhetorical. You answer anyways.

“I’m sorry, Seokminnie,” you say. “I love you.”

You’re not sure what you’re expecting from this (you’re not even sure what you’re hoping for), but it is not the anger you receive.

“Why did you have to say this now?” He asks you, exasperated. It surprises you and your eyes follow him as he stands from the steps, suddenly in front of you. “Now, when - you know I’m in a relationship.”

“I know,” you say, brows furrowing. You set your drink on the concrete next to you. “I’m not trying to get you to break up with Ashley, I’m not telling you this because -”

“Then what are you getting at?” Seokmin demands. “You don’t just confess to somebody to do it!”

Your brain can barely process what’s happening, but you stand up, too, like it might make him understand. “Do you even…” you start, swallowing. “Do you even know how hard it’s been to come to terms with this? How much I’ve worried if you’d still be my friend after I told you?”

Seokmin rolls his eyes and for the first time in a long time it’s not in the playful way you’ve grown to love. “There’s no reason to tell me if you’re not expecting me to feel the same,” he says, voice low. “You shouldn’t have said anything at all.”

And that… that hurts, for some reason, makes you physically take a step back. Both you and Seokmin see it, and you can tell he already feels bad, but he stands his ground, and that hurts even more. You grab all of your things off of the steps, pay no mind to the heat on your face and the shakiness of your hands. You don’t look at Seokmin as you leave.

You’re on a flight the next morning.

-

When you get back home your first instinct is to figure all of your shit out. You get into high gear looking for an apartment, put in extra hours at work, consider making a drastic change to your appearance because for a solid week you think it’ll solve all of your problems. You’re able to find an apartment and set a move in date, and things start to look good again.

You don’t forget about Seokmin, but you act like you do. Maybe it’ll be easier.

(It’s not.)

You don’t know how long this will last, the not talking to Seokmin and changing the subject whenever someone brings him up. A small, sick part of you wants to really forget about him, completely, because what happens after this? If the two of you make up… as upset as you are, you still love him. You don’t know if you’d take it all back, but you miss your best friend… before anything else, he was your person. After everything, you miss him in that way the most.

(Is it even right for you to miss him in a way you never had him?)

You’re organizing your kitchen, putting your dishes and cooking-ware in their newly designated spots, mumbling along to the songs playing through your phone. It’s not the most flashy apartment, but you’re happy to have your own place. 

You’re not expecting any company, given you moved in yesterday, so when you hear a knock on your door, it startles you a bit. You turn off your music and stare at the door like it’ll give you the ability to see who’s outside, then figure it might be your landlord checking in. You leave the plate you were holding on the counter and make your way through the stacks of boxes towards the door.

When you open it, not bothering to look through the peephole, Seokmin’s standing in front of you.

There’s a second where neither of you speak, just looking at each other like weirdos, and then he says, “hi.”

A wave of emotions crashes into you at the sound of his voice, and it takes everything in you to hold it all back. “Hi,” you respond, because there’s not very much else you can say. 

You’re not really angry anymore.

“Can I, um…” he starts, pushing his hands into his pockets. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” you say, blinking. You open the door wider for him to come in. “Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess, I still haven’t gotten everything put away yet…”

You shut and lock the door, and Seokmin follows you into the apartment. You stand by the kitchen counter, leaning against it, and he stands a few feet away in the empty living room. It’s quiet, which is strange, because it was never quiet with you two. But it’s been a few months since you’ve even spoken to each other, kindly at that, so you think you can allow a moment of unfamiliarity.

Seokmin says, “I want to apologize to you.”

You blink at him a few times, watching as he looks down at his feet and then back up to you. “I’m sorry I freaked out at you like that. I don’t know… what it was like, dealing with it, for you, and it was wrong of me to act like that. I guess I had just been waiting a really long time to hear you say it, and you said it at the worst possible time.”

You barely register it. Seokmin looks at you and you notice that his roots have grown in, and then you see the sun from your living room window shining onto his back, and it feels like silk, the knowledge, like a breath of fresh air. You clench and unclench your hands and feel it. “You…” you start, but you don’t even know what you’re going to say. You remember Ashley. “Wait, but - Ashley?”

Seokmin takes a step closer to you and you wait. “I broke up with her the day after you left,” he tells you. “I knew I needed to but I also knew I’d need some time afterwords, too… so that’s why I’m here now.”

It feels like shock, like your entire body is weighted down, because even - even with everyone always asking about when you’d start dating, even with it being so long now that you’ve loved him and known of it, even when Seokmin is standing in front of you, it feels surreal. You barely notice that there’s little space between the two of you, and you wonder who moved and how fast.

“Is this it?” You ask him, soft, reaching up to put your hand against the side of Seokmin’s face. He leans into it. “Is the timing finally right?”

His hand falls over yours. “I think so,” he murmurs, lips pressing a kiss against your palm. His fingers move over your own before intertwining them together, the afternoon sun dressing both of you in gold and you can’t think, can’t do anything but look at Seokmin. You lean up, closer to him, a question. He pulls you closer as an answer. “No more waiting.”

His kiss feels like a million unsaid words.

[qingxintea]

➼ chongyun || hiraeth

tw: mention of knives (no violence), kidnapping, explosion _______

you angled your camera to catch your face and upper body correctly and adjusted your blinds for the correct lighting. you put thin pieces of yellow and pink paper over your lamp to give off a sunset lighting sort of aesthetic in your minimalist room. your tiny cacao tree sat in the corner of your room, setting some sort of simple beach vibe.

then, you began to stream.

you watched as majority of your followers came to view as you sat in your rolly gaming chair. the greetings came rushing in and you noticed two of your friends had came along too, xingqiu and chongyun.

"hey gang, it's kingexplosionmurder here with your weekly sunday stream," you smiled and watched as comments came in asking you to notice them. beginning to select randomly, you flicked a short strand of hair behind your ear. "you have been noticed, yourlocalsugardaddy," you blessed them. and you swore you chose randomly.

on the other side of the screen, chongyun's face slightly flushed before eating his popsicle again. yes, that was his username, selected by xingqiu after the guhua heir was somehow able to trick him into selecting so. the situation must've been that he accidentally consumed some jueyun chili's, that was also xingqiu's doing.

he watched you smile as you explained your schedule for this stream, when he noticed you suddenly began laughing. it sounded genuine, he wanted to believe it was genuine, but there was a trace of disappointment in it. he observed your face, noticing you were looking at the chat box. "i agree too, scarymoose."

scarymoose: this streamer's kinda dog shit ngl 😐

by instinct, his fingers grazed over the keyboard as he analyzed the tone. this kid wasn't joking around with himself, he was really out to bring you down. he exhaled, shaking his head, wondering how you would deal in the situation.

yourlocalsugardaddy: miss karen this isn't yelp 🙄

he wasn't content with that yet, things could've gone onto more serious matters, but he knew you liked to keep your chat clean and peaceful. you went to the farther extents to keep that from happening, agreeing with rude comments yourself as a said joke, but actually have it sometimes harming you.

so chongyun tried his best to keep you happy.

redrumreaper: yo moose chill 😳

he recognized his friend xingqiu also trying to calm the situation as you just laughed it off and attempted to continue, sooner enough just beginning to ignore all his comments. some other viewers came up to your defense but in all honesty, you wanted to move on.

"s-so, i found some silk flowers outside of wangshuu inn yesterday, aren't they pretty?" you took a tiny bouquet of the said silk flowers and presented it to your viewers, holding it next to your cheek. the pink tone of the flowers matched the color of your cheeks and made for a nice picture. chongyun would've screenshotted it, but he respected your privacy.

yourlocaldumba$$: yes they're so pretty we love you 😍

13lue13erry: yes ong ong 💕 thiccer than my granny

Straw13erry: don't bring madame ping into this 💀💀

colino: are you sure it's alright to take from someone's legally owned property ?? much less from their garden

Straw13erry: u mean ur neighbors don't harvest ur flowers every day? 🙄 privilege spoke 🤚

yourlocalsugardaddy: vv pretty 😳

redrumreaper: simp 💀

you slightly choked over on your side and xingqiu calling chongyun a simp, for you. quickly clearing your throat, you regained your composure. your viewers could see that your cheeks had been dusted with a darker shade now.

13lue13erry: 👀

Straw13erry: 👀

yourlocaldumba$$: 👀

redrumreaper: 👀

sireluck: 💀

bazinga: 👀

dandelionn: 👀

poetichoe: 👀

"okay- anyways," you pushed that aside, watching the chain of 👀's coming in. you weren't too sure at what they were referring to, but just assumed that they were interested in xingqiu exposing chongyun. but, there was no way chongyun really felt like that, right? it was just a friendly compliment from what you believed. "just a tiny flex but y'all guys, i am so cracked at apex, not gonna lie. for all the new followers out there," you randomly commented. 'and to change the subject.'

"actually, you know what? fuck the schedule, let's go to trolling little eight year old kids posting selfies on instagram. due to certain reasons i'm just not gonna be blurring their usernames out, but please don't spam these people, i don't wanna be cancelled 💗" you sweetly smiled as you pulled up instagram and started streaming on your phone.

of course your sus notifications ruined it 🤡🤡

because xingqiu took advantage of the situation, sending messages to your discord. nothing mentioning your romantic life because he knew better than that, but just trolling. 'HEY GANG. ITS ME, TONY, AND TODAY WE'RE GONNA SEE IF IM FASTER THAN THIS MOUSE TRAP.' 'TURNS OUT, I AM NOT FASTER THAN THIS MOUSE TRAP.' 'AN UPDATE, IT HURTS. ALRIGHT. BYE GUYS.' you tried hard to contain your laughter, but certain giggles came out in the end, giggles that made chongyun's heart flutter.

xingqiu just kept spamming without a stop, to the point that you accidentally clicked into the notification instead of someone's username on a selfie post. so now everyone could see your group chat with xingqiu, chongyun, and a few other viewers that were actually your other friends.

13lue13erry: oh no 🤡

Straw13erry: 🗿

yourlocaldumba$$: HAHAHAHA WE'RE EXPOSED 🤡👌

just water support boy 😔: image.png

oh my god he's sending chongyun catboy edits. you made this concerning noise, glad no one really seemed to know who chongyun really was on twitch. you went back to instagram, beginning to dm a random kid, ignoring the situation that had just happened.

chongyun choked, slight heat running to his cheeks. what the fuck was xingqiu doing- how did he even get those pictures? maybe it was that one time xingqiu forced him to go to a furry con, but how did he ever get the time to photograph these? he nervously fidgeted and played with his fingers.

13lue13erry: 🤡

Straw13erry: ��

yourlocaldumba$$: 🤡

redrumreaper: 🤡

<— oraoraoraor

kingexplosionmurder: chav check

oraoraoraor: what

kingexplosionmurder: chav: check 😹😹

oraoraoraor: bruh

oraoraoraor: who tf are you

kingexplosionmurder: hope you like baddies cause i'm bad at everything 💗

oraoraoraor: bruh ok i'm blocking

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: 😐

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: wtf

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: wait wait UR that one twitch streamer?

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: ig ur fans gonna be so disappointed in you

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: hahaha wtf i'm gonna post this and tag you

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

afterwards you sent a barrage of really cursed images and left the person on read when they tried to complain and get a reaction out of you. you chuckled, extremely satisfied with yourself. this is what your viewers followed you for. you went on hunting for another user, "GO Y/N GO" filling up your chat.

you were just about to dm this other kid until you heard a ring from your doorbell. "oh what the fuck, i didn't invite anyone. but you know what, i'll pull something up to entertain y'all guys while i'm afk." searching on youtube, you typed in 'banana fish ep. 1' and clicked on the longest video you saw. then you got up from your chair, making your way to the front door.

you didn't mute yourself before because you thought there was really no need to, and you underestimated your mic sensitivity. god did you wish that you could go back and time and do just that.

twisting the doorknob, you opened your door and was met with... a certain, someone.

someone that you recognized and has caused you so much pain, and it was all so fun and games before they had to come along. "bruh. aight what you here for fam?" you played it super chill, though you were really sick and tired of this person's shit.

"(y/n). we need to talk," her stern voice made you flinch as you just stared straight into her eyes. you simply nodded your head and crossed your arms, shifting your weight onto your right leg. "we're thinking of taking you back home."

your froze, your breath hitching as you just stood there, waiting for her to go on. clenching your fists and looking down, you stayed silent for a little moment and questioned, "...why?"

"well, you have a stable income source, right?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips. "you can finally be of use to us," she clasped her hands together, a bright smile on her face. your finger twitched, awaiting an explanation. "you're a streamer, yeah? so you can be a useful asset to our family name."

"...you only want me to come back so i can make you all seem... good?"

and here you thought, just for a second, that you would be accepted back into the place where you really belonged. your shoulders slumped, as small tears began to well up in your eyes. "and for our profitable gain of course, it would be a shame to not acquire that from you."

you composed yourself and looked up. "im afraid my profit can only cover for one person, and it would be myself that i focus to make a suitable and independent living out of. you've kicked me out ever since i've graduated from college and had me fend for myself, now inviting me back once i have a stable job?" you breathed, fiddling with the sleeves of your black hoodie.

"oh, not inviting, dear. taking."

confused by her words, you let your guard down as she suddenly pushed a warm cloth over your mouth as you let out a constrained scream. you tried to break free of her grasp, reaching for the switchblade in your pocket, but the drowsing chemicals from the cloth took control of you and you felt disoriented. "you... bitch..."

your head hit the floor.

》●✿ time ● skip ✿●

silence.

thats all you heard when you awoke.

pure, unfiltered silence that overwhelmed you as you were completely lost. what was happening?

you tried turning to the other side of your childhood bed, the moon casting light shadows into your 'room'. there was a rope around your wrists you noticed, so you brought them up to your lips and starting gnawing on them until it broke apart. (guys we feral its not a furry instinct ok?/ ??  ?)

the material had irritated your skin, but you put that aside for now. escape- thats what you really needed to do. it was fairly dark, but you didn't have a good estimate of time. the analog clock was broken and set to a different time that displayed 11AM. you sat up, your fingers running along the frame of the window next to you.

for a moment, you stopped, thoughts rushing into your head. what if you could start a whole other life here where things could finally be peaceful, what if you didn't have to feel so isolated anymore, what if you could- ...

no. (y/n), get yourself together. what has happened will anyways stay there, and there is no healing scars. ...still, you couldn't shake off the feeling of missing this home so much when you had an amazing childhood, though full of fake actors who had manipulated you.

opening all the cabinets silently, you grabbed things that you assumed would come to your aid. a tiny backpack, which you then stuffed with other things around it. a first aid kit, a spare knife just in case, along with a clean oversized sweater and a couple dollar bills. all that, along with a compass.

you turned towards your window, stepping on your bed.

pushing open the sides of your window, your stepped on, the brown coldness of the frame coming in contact with your feet. you shivered just a little bit before stopping to think. what would you do once you were out of here? you barely knew your way here. and not to mention, your devices were still left at your other house, so there was no way of contact.

...

did your stream ever end? even if it did, had you muted yourself before leaving? no, you didn't, and you could remember in precise detail. someone out there, anyone, would be willing to help, right? you couldn't possibly be here forever, not when you're basically blown up all over your socials?

your friends, yes, your friends! xingqiu and chongyun were watching the stream and had made obvious interaction in doing so, and they'd be willing to protect you. if they just had a lead...

but... what lead was there? all they heard was the woman's voice and, that was probably it, wasn't it? only a voice with no other clear features that could identify her. it looked like you were doing this on your own.

you came in contact with the blades of grass tickling your feet and conveniently found a pair of sneakers outside. it definitely wasn't yours, and it smelled like the scent of your old room. most likely, it belonged to someone from inside your house, lavender and mint, but who inside there was in the age range to wear modern day sneakers..?

brushing that question aside, you unhesitatingly laced them on and they were just a bit too big, but you could manage.

you breathed, inhaling the freedom intertwined air, a much needed factor of bringing you back to your lost sense of happiness. then, the fear struck you once again, because you needed to improvise now. you needed to run, but which direction? you barely knew this place at all.

you dug around your pocket for the compass you had and it was pointing east. you remember that stepping out of your house was facing west, so you were going the right way... but who knows how messy the path was? it couldn't have been an exact pathway, but going directly ahead was your simplest option.

you heard a pair of footsteps coming from inside the house, probably a few seconds away to opening the door. you sucked in your breath and ran, ran as far as your legs could take you. your intimidating speed and played into your advantage, and taking one last look, you saw the lights on, before continuing.

a few minutes into it, you felt some elemental energy. it was a sense you learned to develop since you were young, giving you the upper hand in a variety of situations. you followed the trail of glowing lines, the air starting to get colder and colder. you shuddered, the crisp coldness nipping at your skin.

you sat below a tree, taking your backpack off your shoulder and took out the oversized sweater. you put it on over your black tee and light blue skinny jeans, its nostalgic aroma filling your sense of smell.

it was... warm.

it shouldn't be warm.

the warmth proved as a sign that someone had worn it before, but this size was from what you knew, too small to fit the woman you came across again, and you absolutely did not recall any other beings within the house. it was a small household.

suddenly, you remembered what she said.

we're thinking of taking you back home. you can finally be of use to us.

plural. you should've noticed it before and you shook your head, slightly disappointed in yourself. you didn't remember any other birth siblings. could it be the fact that during the time, they had, in a way, replaced you?

you sat up, then suddenly went drowsy. your eyelids were getting heavy as your back hit the same tree. ah, that clever bitch. you chuckled to yourself, but still unsatisfied how this was gonna end. reaching inside your pocket, you grabbed a bomb that a little kid gave you, and threw it as far as you could. it wasn't as far as you hoped, but it was exceptionally far considered your sleepy state.

in a few couple seconds or so, it was going to explode. you did that to divert the attention of her and slowly ran as far as you could. a few seconds in, you gave in, hoping that your efforts were enough. 》●✿ perspective ● shift ✿●

chongyun heard an explosion.

he raised his head in the direction smoke was coming from, and made a run for it, then stopping to think. no, you're smarter than this. he gathered his shit together and remembered that one day klee gave you a bomb. he deducted that you had used it as a diversion, and began to search around the area.

and finally, he came across your sleeping body. to ensure your living state, he crouched down and let two fingers travel across your neck, searching for a pulse, and was relieved when he found one, pulsing at a normal rate.

he then carried you on his back, picking up the pace since he deducted someone was out for you, would you need a distraction. he remembered some details of the woman, she had ended your stream with your sleeping form in her hands, a dirty smirk coming across her lips. she had dark hair with some natural highlights, but that was all he saw because the rest was concealed by a cloak.

a few minutes, maybe half an hour later, you began to stir. chongyun decided that he ventured far enough to liyue and slowed down for your comfort. he wanted you to get some well deserved rest. but slowly, you woke up, but only the tiniest movement was made. your eyes were still droopy and you wanted to return to sleep.

but the sight of pastel blue hair kept you from doing so.

you felt the familiar silk coming in contact with your arms as he kept on trudging forward at a more consistent and smooth pace. "..chongyun?" you muttered out weakly, earning a small smile from the male. he hummed in response, continuing forward.

your mind was cloudy, unable to interpret the language of the world. but softly, words effortlessly escaped your lips, "... did i do the right... thing?" blinking multiple times, you awaited his answer.

"yes, yes you did," his soft voice reached your ears, making you smile a bit. you nuzzled deeper into his shoulder, clinging onto him tighter, unwilling to let go.

"thank you," you whispered.

he chuckled a bit before responding, "anything for you."

_____

bro ending is a little off because i'm wrote this at 2:53AM and so my brain has went ⬇️⬇️ also i'm just hungry

copy and pasted from my wattpad,, @ppeachtea_

[gambissanctum]

PART 2 Black Lighting: The Book of Fortitude:Chapter one:Brandon’s Duplicity

Authors note: Here’s part 2 guys! I don’t know how long this “book” will be but everything within “ThebookofFortitude” will be tagged as such so you can find it.Ignore typos and weird wording I got kinda tired lol Enjoy!

-------------

Brandon’s apartment 

“Aye, you got a hoodie?” Jennifer asks as she stands up ready to investigate. “Yeah” Brandon replies running over to his closet grabbing two hoodies. He throws one over to Jennifer. They both zip up and put on the hoods trying to conceal their identities. Brandon opens the door and its chaos.Residents in the apartment complex  are evacuating while Brandon and Jennifer are going the opposite way. Brandon nods his head directing Jennifer to a staircase towards the end of the hall. They keep their heads down as they rush to the floor above them.Once they reach the floor its completely abandoned. There’s debris shattered around the halls and broken light fixtures. Jennifer takes the lead and walks forward looking for the location of the sounds. Brandon follows behind her. She walks two doors down and apartment 301’s door was completely kicked in. 

Jennifer motions for Brandon to come forward. She sees soldiers sprawled out on the floor.” Yo, Jenn be careful” Brandon says as Jennifer gets closer to one of the bodies. A few of the soldiers have their helmets missing. Jennifer inspects their faces. Their eyes are completely black and there seems to be prominent black veins covering their faces.”Looks like Markovians”she says. “Maybe we should go” Brandon insists.”Hold on” Jennifer stalls as she squints to get a better look.”It looks like some kinda venom” she says turning to Brandon. “Jenn” Brandon says trying to get Jennifer to come back to his apartment with him. “You scared?” Jennifer asks chuckling. “No!” Brandon says unconvincingly. “It’s just not safe, how do you know they are really all dead?” Brandon questions. Jennifer lets out a sigh.”I can see electrical impulses, trust me I know the difference…...I can feel it”. Brandon looks saddened by that new insight. A vibration comes from Jennifer’s back pocket. She reaches back and grabs her phone. “ Ugh, it’s my dad” Jennifer huffs. “I gotta go but you think you’ll be okay without me?” she questions. “Come on, you’ve seen what I can do” he assures her. Jennifer rolls her eyes “uh huh”.

---------------

Anissa’s Loft

Anissa and Grace are in the kitchen area. Anissa is holding Grace from the back as she cooks some breakfast.”Shonda, play Never Too Much by Luther Vandross”.Anissa tells to her smart house. The record starts to play throughout the loft. Grace chuckles as she places a lid on the food she cooked. Anissa starts to sing along to the track holding Grace’s hands. “oooooohhh my love....a thousand kisses from you is never tooo muchhh”. Anissa sings. They both start to dance and laugh. “Let me see what you got! Grace  says as she shimmies her shoulders.”You don’t know nothing about this!” Anissa breaks out the robot and turns around in a circle. “Woooowww! I hope don’t!” Grace laughs. Their gazes are fixed on one another while Grace bites her lip. Grace felt safe and happy....very happy.... so happy that at times she was scared to be so happy.She felt like as soon as she really got into the groove of being comfortable in the feeling, it might get taken away. But for now she was trying to just live in the moment. Anissa pulls her closer grasping Grace’s booty. “Don’t start nothin you can’t finish” Grace teases. “Oh you know I can finish it” Anissa says confidently while kissing Grace’s neck.

 The music turns down as there’s a knock on the door.” Gambi knocks on Anissa’s door again. “ Anissa, your uncle Gambi is at the door” Shonda announces. Anissa and Grace roll their eyes as their moment is interrupted. ”Shonda, pause music, open front door” she says. Gambi walks through the door with a briefcase and looks at them both. “Am I interrupting something?” Gambi asked. Anissa and Grace glance at each other and smile.They consecutively and sarcastically say “Nope”. Gambi gets the hint. “Sorry to interrupt but I have some important news but first Anissa how are you feeling?” Gambi asks. Anissa is looking much healthier than before her run in with painkiller. Anissa responds  “Honestly a hell of a lot better, between whatever it was you gave me and Grace helping me... I’m feeling a lot more like myself.” 

 Gambi nods and brings the briefcase with a computer inside over to the table. “I’m glad to hear that because it seems that we might have a problem that hits close to home that we may need you to help with.” Gambi explains. “What do you mean?” Anissa questions. “Remember how I said the venom was ten times more potent than a sample I had before? Well it took some time but I was able to match the samples.” Gambi taps the screen revealing information about the sample and a digital photo of Khalil. Anissa hesitated with her response.”Why is there a picture of Khalil?”.“Khalil like your sister’s boyfriend that passed?” Grace furrows her brows. “That’s what I mean.... I was able to match the molecular structures with the sample I already had from one of his darts. Anissa it’s match.” he explains.” “But we buried him!” Anissa shakes her head in disbelief.“ And I know that, so heres the other thing.... I went by the graveyard Anissa... and.... he’s not there.The plot is empty.” He explains sternly. “Someone dug him up? Why would he attack me?” Anissa’s mind thinks of a million questions. “Not just someone, my thoughts point to Odell, and the why I’m still trying to figure out.More then likely with what he did to you, Odell has weaponized him to do his bidding.” He explains further.” “Does Jenn know? My dad? Mom?” Anissa asks. “ Your mom and dad know. I haven’t had it in me to tell Jennifer, your mom said she would talk to her today.I just wanted to warn you and Grace. Although Odell is still recovering I’m sure he has contingency plans so be very careful.

--------------

Brandon’s apartment

Brandon sits at his computer desk looking at a map. He presses the escape button and there’s photos of Khalil and Jennifer. As if he’s been doing some research on them, particularly Khalil. He gets a text message from Jennifer.

 TEXT BEGIN

Jennifer: Hey, you good?

Brandon: I told you, i’m good.I can handle myself lol

Jennifer: hmmm Just checking. It’s been like a week.Didn’t know if whatever that was came back looking for you or something.

Brandon: Nope, I’m good. You still coming by today?

Jennifer: I can’t. My mom wants me to do something but maybe later if it doesn’t take forever.

Brandon: Aight, bet

TEXT END

-------

Pierce Residence:

Lynn walks in as Jefferson is headed down the stairs. The tension is heavy between them. He looks over at her wanting to talk. “Lynn-”Jefferson is interrupted. “Jefferson, if this is not about our daughter, I don’t wanna talk about it. I already have to have a very difficult conversation with her today. So this... whatever this is between us is gonna have to wait.” She snaps. She walks further in the house. “Jennifer!”she yells out. Jefferson rolls his eyes and throws up his hands. His face is almost healed from the beating he took at the school. He didn’t want to argue with Lynn at-least not now. She gets closer to the staircase and calls out “Jennifer” once more. Jennifer yells “coming” from her room upstairs. As Lynn turns to head back towards the door a small valve falls from her pocket. She doesn’t notice but Jefferson does. Jefferson reaches down to pick up the valve as Lynn is looking towards the door awaiting Jennifer. Jennifer rushes down stairs. “Ready?” Lynn asks Jennifer. “Lynn?” Jefferson says confused about all the recent animosity coming from her lately.Lynn ignores him and rushes Jennifer out the door. Jefferson looks at Lynn and Jennifer get in the car wondering how things got back to this point. He closes the door and bangs his fist angrily. His eyes illuminate and the lights in the house flicker.He inspects the valve with a green substance inside in his hand. “Is this....?”

-----------

Car

Jennifer and Lynn walk towards the car. Jennifer see’s a figure in the backseat. “uh, mom?” Jennifer says. “It’s okay, it’s Gambi.” Lynn explains. Since Gambi is still thought of as dead to the outside world he is using the cloaking device he created allowing him to take the form of a ASA agent. “Mom, what’s this about?” Jennifer questions. “I’ll explain, just get in the car”Lynn says checking over her shoulder. They both get in the car and Lynn starts to drive.

 “ You guys are acting super weird, what’s going on?” Jennifer asks searching for a motive. “Well sweetie-” Lynn stops, searching for the right words to say. “What? Did someone else die? That seems to be an every day thing now. Just tell me I can take it.” Jennifer affirms. “Jenn, It’s not that.....”Gambi takes a breath.. “.Lynn you have to tell her.” “Well, you know I’ve been working a lot at the lab and how your sister had a run in with a meta trying to bring back Tavon. Well we connected the venom sample to someone.”Lynn explains .“Okay?” Jennifer shrugs. “We connected it to..... Khalil......The DNA matches..it took some work but Odell has been hiding him at the lab for some time now.I hadn’t seen anything like it before.” Lynn struggles to get it out. “What! Mom, Khalil’s dead! Is this a joke?” Jennifer snaps. “Baby calm down,I...know...this is alarming news but were being 100 percent  honest with you...I haven’t quite figured out how they did this but what I do know is Khalil isn’t like he use to be.There’s a chip thats been implanted in him and I haven’t figured out how to remove it without damaging his brain or whatever’s left of it. “So, he’s alive? I can’t handle this right now” Jennifer yells. “Yes and....I’ve finally stabilized him enough for him not to try to kill us”.Lynn expresses. “What?!”Jennifer eyes light up.”Baby girl, I know...I know... this sounds crazy. It’s like some Lazarus project, gone wrong but try to calm down, at-least until we get to the lab.” “That’s where we’re going? you’re taking me to him?!” Jennifer questions. “Yes, put this on, you may be his last hope. ” Gambi replies with an empathetic tone. He hands Jennifer a cloaking device.

-----------

The lab

“While agent Odell is in the hospital I have a little more free rein in the lab.We still have to keep this under wraps though.” Lynn states to Jenn and Gambi. “This hall is secret and the only area that I know the ASA agents don’t have access to without Odell.With him in the hospital I made sure the cameras in the room aren’t functioning.”

Gambi and Jennifer turn off their cloaking devices.

Lynn takes Jennifer to the side briefly. “Are you sure you can handle this?”.Jennifer nods taking a deep breath. “I just wanna see him.” Lynn gestures okay as she presses a button on her lab pad opening the door. 

Painkiller is laying down in a relaxed state wearing nothing but grey shorts.They walk in and he sits up. It was like he was in a trance. “Dr.Stewart” he says nonchalantly.

Jennifer couldn’t believe it. The initial sight of him sent a surge of feelings through her. It was like she was seeing a ghost. She felt like she was waiting for her heart to catch up to her eyes .Her heart was in a dark place and she wanted to make sure this wasn’t a dream. She didn’t know if she could handle it if it wasn’t.Jennifer and Khalil stare at each other briefly. His glare was cold and almost lifeless.Jennifer gets teary eyed as she approaches Khalil. “Be careful” Lynn warns her. “I gave him something to subdue him but the chip is still functioning,” she explained.Even the way he blinked was robotic. Jennifer touches his face. “I can’t believe this” Jennifer cries observing his face. Lynn and Gambi look at each other empathizing for Jennifer.Jennifer’s tears flood her face. “What did they do to you?” Jenn voice cracks. Khalil looks puzzled at the emotional reactions of Jennifer. Khalil stares at her trying to gather any memory of her. “Do I know you?” Painkiller asks with a slight attitude. Jennifer’s heartbreaks at his words.She knew he wasn’t himself but this was a lot to handle.The disappointment read strong on her face. She had hoped maybe their connection was strong enough to trigger something for him. “You really don’t remember me?” Jennifer inquires.

photocredit @blacklightningriverdalerants​

Will Jennifer be able to help Khalil? Is he gone forever? What’s Brandon up to? find out in part 3.

Thanks for reading! Remember comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated!

[no0dlru]

Tagged by @justmakesuresheeatsthemouse , @tsjaikovskij and @cookiekraftwerk to do my own tag questionnaire thing.

Have you had a good day so far today?

Yea it's been aight.

What's something you wish you could tell your younger self?

Read Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration

If you could share one song with someone for them to understand you, what would it be?

Laibach - Brother of Mine/Brat Moj. I specifically thought this would be a tough but interesting question, but it took me ages to decide haha. It reminds me I'm not alone with the whole "eternal struggle for the beauty of the world" thing.

A song people maybe wouldn't expect you to like but you do?

Sometimes when I feel like it I blast We Close Our Eyes, but wether thats a surprise I'm uncertain. I listen to Datarock sometimes (Bulldozer if it has to be a specific song), and they're kinda uncharacteristic of the music I like...

Describe your go-to pair of shoes?

My poor old battered 8-hole docs haha... but often I slip on these if I cba with all those laces:

(Not my pic haha)

Do you have a picture/poster in your room? What of?

Cba to explain it all so:

What's your favourite software?

Ooohh uuhrm... in terms of joy using it, probably Blender tbh. I'm awful at 3D modeling (and PHYSICS?! Ugh! And TEXTURING? eeugh!) but even setbacks are fun - every other software, there's times when it makes me unhappy. But not Blender!

Do you own nail polish/favourite colour of nail polish?

I've got a nice deep metalic blue that matches my hair when it's freshly dyed... but tbh my nails are never nice enough to paint.

Favourite herb/spice?

Tbh that's a shit question cause it's so variable haha. I'm crazy for corriander rice atm...

Do/can you lucid dream?

Rarely, but I either have no real control over it or I get so excited to be lucid dreaming that I just wake up haha.

Summer or winter?

Summer. Summer all the way. Sweltering, jumping in the sea just to cool down, blister-in-the-sun, psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop summer pls. Pls

If you could relive a day of your life, would you? When?

My first Laibach gig, so I could enjoy it fully without a care (was a very stressful day and we left halfway through the set).

Favourite historical era?

Asides from my obvious interests, I love hearing about late modernity as a lot of our world now was established then, and if you can't learn from that, we're truly fucked haha

A common misunderstanding people have of you?

People seem to think I'm arrogant (?) or aloof (??) when I actually have like no self worth and I'm hella fuckin shy (???)

[takottais-oc-askblog]

Oc bullshittery pt.7

--------------------------------------------

Bei: I trust flesh!

T.y: You think he knows what he's doing?

Bei: I'm not sure I'd go THAT far.

--------------------------------------------

Rico: [Finds a crumpled up piece of paper] Hey, what’s this?

Quinncie: Oh, that’s my to-do list!

Rico: Wow, you’re being so productive, good for you, I never thought that–

Rico: [reads what on the list]

Rico: This only has my name on it...

--------------------------------------------

T.y: What do you normally do when I’m gone?

Flesh: wait for you to come back...

--------------------------------------------

Peach: why is Quinncie crying?

Elliott: He's drunk and saw a picture of Rico's boyfriend

T.y: But he is Rico's boyfriend

Elliott: Like I said, he's drunk

Quinncie: [crying on the floor in the fetal position]

--------------------------------------------

Eva: [on day three of no sleep and forgetting to eat, looking completely dead inside] Self-care is for the WEAK!

Cake: [coughs]

Eva: [frantically swaddling her in blankets] We need an ambulance!!!

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: [Talking about Eva] Don’t worry! She likes your butt and your fancy hair.

Cake: [As she runs her hand through her hair] She thinks it’s fancy?

--------------------------------------------

Camie brown: Wait, you're gay? As in, gay...gay? As in, you like women?

Peak Lilly: I thought I was being...

Peak Lilly: Crystal queer

--------------------------------------------

Bei: alright boys ready to g– Thomas where’s your vest?

Elliott: [smiling mischievously] yeah Thomas where’s your vest?

Diel: ...

Diel: about that..

--------------------------------------------

Pimp: Quinncie, baby. How can I get back on your good side?

Quinncie: It’s gonna take about three weeks of not talking to me.

--------------------------------------------

Peak Lilly: Why aren't the dishes in alphabetical order!?

Camie brown: WhAt thE FuCK dOeS thAT eVEn MEAn!?

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: [being kidnapped] Will I need my toothbrush?

Kidnapper: Shut up!

Flesh: I'm assuming that means you'll be providing the toothbrush.

--------------------------------------------

Bei: [on the TV] Boss won't get off your back? Girlfriend won't stop nagging you?

Bei: Did that fuckstick Eva sell you a bullshit dagger that broke almost immediately despite the fact that you spent half your goddamn savings on it?

Bei: Have you considered... murder?

--------------------------------------------

My oc's as popular vines:

Quinncie: so no head?

T.y: what the Fuck is up Kyle?!

Peak Lilly: Look at all those chickens!

Flesh: Hi welcome to chilis

Chii: Fuck ya chicken strips!

Poppet: ThAtS My OpInIoN!!

Charlie: Chris is that a weed?!

Diel: what up I’m Jared, I’m 19, and I never fuckin learned how to read

Peach: Wooow

Bei: Ms Keisha? Ms Keishaaaa!? oh my fuckin god she fuckin dead!

Paston: Hi my name is Trey I have a basketball game tomorrow.

Camie brown: I wanna be a cowboy baby!

Elliott: Im a bad bitch you can’t kill me!!!

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: [on the phone] dad? i need your help! Th–

Chii: is the apartment complex on fire?

Flesh: ...no?

Chii: then it’s not an emergency. [hangs up]

Dax: well?! what did he say? what do we do about the portal to hell in the living room?!

Flesh: [shrugs] apparently it’s not an emergency.

T.y: [being strangled by a demon] HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY??

--------------------------------------------

Diel: [muttering]

Bei: Diel what are you doing?

Diel: I’m having an argument with myself so I can finally win something for once.

Bei: would you mind not doing that right now? We need to be quite-

Diel: Well I actually would mind, because I’m losing right now.

Bei: How can you lose an argument to yourself?

Diel: the voices in my head decided to join in, and they’re making some pretty solid points on why I should just kill the bad guys and take their money.

Bei: well that’s........ mildly concerning...

Elliott: MILDLY????!?!!

--------------------------------------------

Chii: In terms of instant relief canceling plans is like heroin.

--------------------------------------------

Chii: I hope flesh liked the shirt I got him yesterday. Oh, he called.

Voice mail: You have 17 new messages.

Chii: What?!

Flesh: Hey dad, thanks for the Bazinga t-shirt it's… great. I was just calling because I might need a ride later tonight. T.y can’t drive and I ran iris's car into a ditch after we watched Fast Five on Netflix together.

Iris: You still owe me for that.

Flesh: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Cars are really flammable, did you know that? I didn’t know that. Well, I do now.. but anyway I’ll call you later if we need a pick up from the show, alright?

T.y: [groans]

Flesh: t.y, you’re up! Talk to you later, dad!

Voice mail: End of Message.

Chii: I’m not listening to all of these.[skips to the last message]

Voice mail: Message 17.

[loud screaming of pure terror as a booming demonic roar pierces the air]

--------------------------------------------

Rico: hey i used to b uglier believe it or not.

--------------------------------------------

Camie brown: What is the worst thing you've done sexually?

Charlie: .... I'm not sure what I'd want to call a worst..

Peak Lilly: A man..

Coccoh: pppfffttttt!

--------------------------------------------

Eva: Stay the fuck away from my man, I won’t tell you again!

T.y: BITCH! I don’t wan yo man. Nobody wants yo man. That’s why he’s wit you!

--------------------------------------------

Peak Lilly: It was the 80s, we did a lot of drugs back in those days.

Bren: How could she even do drugs?! She's a fucking alien!

Camie brown: Your mother found a way.

--------------------------------------------

Random cop: STOP RIGHT THERE! YOU ARE ALL MENACES TO SOCIETY!

T.y: [decks said cop]

Bei: why did you do that??????????

T.y: I am not emotionally involved in this situation!

--------------------------------------------

Eva: i sleep with a bow and arrow under my bed.

Bei: oh yeah? i sleep with a gun under my pillow!

Ashton: weak! i sleep with a nanobotic suit ready to be equipped!

T.y: damn, you's all are paranoid as hell!

Eva: yeah? what do you sleep with?

T.y: Elliott.

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: So how about a change of name?

Diel: You know, one that sounds marginally less like a porno than your current one!

Bei: [unsheathes sword]

Diel: [running away] You just had to open your mouth!

Flesh: [ducking under a blade swing] My mouth? My mouth?!! This is your fault!!!

--------------------------------------------

Eva: [slides flip phone across floor] Fuck this and fuck you! You little spawn of Nokia!

--------------------------------------------

Peach: I wonder why I don't like anything around my neck.

Poppet: maybe you were hung in a past life?

[heavy pause]

Peach: I THINK IT MIGHT JUST BE BECAUSE I'M AUTISTIC, POPPET!

--------------------------------------------

Eva: -and that's why I think God doesn't exist!

Cake: sorry sugar, I wasn't listenin'.

Eva: what, why?

Cake: look hun, I just really want a cupcake

--------------------------------------------

Paston: wow, that jacket is so soft that if someone hugged you they'd die on impact. And I have a deathwish! So come here!

--------------------------------------------

Quinncie: [singing to the tune of "We Just Got a Letter" from Blue's Clues] I just got a message, I just got a message, I just got a message, and it's from your man!

--------------------------------------------

T.y: Bitches be like "You mine".

T.y: First off I'm on probation, "I" belong to the state.

--------------------------------------------

Bei: I was so angry at everything when i was 13. And i was right.

--------------------------------------------

Bei: [get assigned a mission out of the city]

Bei: [drives off]

T.y: [storms into the apartment]

Rico: [sorting files]

Flesh: [at the computer]

Iris: [sharpening knives]

T.y: ATTENTION SIMPLETONS! Bei has JUST left the building!

Iris: ....

Flesh: ....

Rico: ....

T.y: and guess who’s been deputized as sheriff of this complex!

Rico: [hesitantly raises hand]

T.y: M E! 

Rico: [hand goes down]

T.y: now [presses play on bluetooth speaker] work bitches!

[Work Bitch by Britney Spears echoing throughout the apartment]

Flesh: uuuughhhh not agaaaaain–

--------------------------------------------

Iris: [putting on makeup]

Flesh: [watching]

Flesh: Why do you use so many brushes for makeup?

Iris: Was Mona Lisa painted with one brush? 

Iris: NO!

--------------------------------------------

Bei: [walks into the kitchen]

Apartment complex 404 Fam: [eating breakfast]

Bei: just a reminder; it’s Throat Punch Thursday

Bei: [leaves]

T.y: [checks imaginary watch] damn, that time again already ?

--------------------------------------------

Quinncie: I made a fool of myself today and I will make a fool of myself tomorrow. Good night!

--------------------------------------------

Eva: the only two important Michaels; Jordan and Jackson.

Peach: [while pulling out Michael Myers mask] wooooow aight bet–

--------------------------------------------

T.y: they kicked me outta church bc i yelled “fuck the devil!” I thought we all hated that motherfucker!?

--------------------------------------------

Peak Lilly: You know, one day you could be a great dad!

Chii: I already am.

Peak Lilly: flesh doesn't count.

Chii: HE IS MY CHILD!

--------------------------------------------

Chii: so, what did I miss?

Dax: flesh died twice.

--------------------------------------------

Diel: my goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.

Bei: you can’t just say that every time you fail a mission.

--------------------------------------------

Iris: wow i need a drink.

Iris: [pours chocolate milk into a shot glass]

--------------------------------------------

Flesh: I think your calculations might have been off.

Diel: Well, they can't be off if I didn't do any.

--------------------------------------------

Iris: [to Elliott] You... you... you rude person!

Dax: Go easy on him, iris.

--------------------------------------------

T.y: [comes downstairs to find bei up and about]

T.y: wow you sure are quite the night person..

Bei: buddy I’m barley even a person!

--------------------------------------------

Bei: No one expects an angel to set the world on fire. But than again I'm no angel.

--------------------------------------------

T.y: oh yea? Well apparently, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

T.y: [Points at flesh] But this one got ran over by a fuckin lawn mower!

--------------------------------------------

Diel: I look like I'm supposed to be stalking senpai in this outfit.

Diel: Who's senpai? Hell if I know but I'm stalking him that's for sure.

--------------------------------------------

Tag list: @nansblockit @ask-the-amazing-greenland @slasher-beware @ticket-to-ride13 @illwaitinthisplace

If you want to be tagged just comment on this post or shoot me an ask/message, have a wonderful day!

[kerfufflies]

one o those get 2 kno me thangs

(im tired but lets do this!)

tagged by the lovely @ella-animine!

rule #1: tag people you want to get to know better

@ everyone and anyone because i want 2 know u

rule #2: highlight true statements in bold

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses (ah yes the bane of my existence)

I have at least one tattoo 

I have at least one piercing (ears, no choice in the matter  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

I have blonde hair 

I have or have had braces (im suffering)

I love meeting new people (meh,, i dont even know how to start a conversation,,)

People tell me I’m funny

Helping people with their problems is a big priority to me (yall are important to me aight??? friendship package with me automatically includes me busting thru ur doors at 3 am to deal w ur problems)

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges (”dont tEST me”; also gives up 10 mins later)

I’m playfully rude to people I know well (sure? i think ? idk im tire)

I started to say something ironically now I can’t stop saying it (bless you??)

There is something I would change about my personality

I can play an instrument (uahdkfh give me a violin an d be ready to hear the worst tunes of ur life)

I can sing well (bich the  karaoke machine says yes but i say n o0 especially after i get better from a cough or whatever because my voice box just never recovers)

I can do 30 push ups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well (personally i think NOT but people say otherwise and im like??? thanks im flattered but really i dOnT kNoW hOW TO D r A W)

I have a good memory (hm. lets see,, anemone an enemy anemone an enemy anemone anne nemo and another me - hm maybe but my mind is clouded 24/7/365 so not really what did i have for breakfast again)

I am good at doing math in my head (nope -glances at “medals” [they are paper circles w strings] won for mental math practices in first grade- still nope gotta count on those fingereresrses)

I can hold my breath underwater for a minute (hey yea i used to b a swimmer but idk if i can do it now ;-;)

I have beaten at least two people in an arm wrestle (but im WEAK)

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch (i will not touch that frying pan until my mom teaches me the ways of the cook)

I can throw a punch (badly, but i can try)

I enjoy sports (give me that good runners stitch and we’ll see about it)

I have learned a new song in the past week (??? uhhhh sure?? learned the lyrics to [whats it called hold on] say you won’t let go by james arthur bc its good aight)

I’ve gone running at least one week in the summer (running who is she idk her)

I work out at least once a week (me, getting on the floor, doing one push-up and failing: alright thats enough im good i did exercise back to tumblr)

I have drawn something in the past month (IVE BEEN TRYING TO DRAW THIS ONE THING THATS BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR THE PAST 24 HOURS BUT THE LIGHTING AND THE POSE AND THE SHADING AND BACKGROUND IS SO ABOVE MY LEVEL I WANT D E A T H)

I enjoy writing (yea bu t i cant do writing well, maybe ill try later not rn)

I have done martial arts (no but i know people who have does tht count)

I have had my first kiss (rip)

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting (HA dedication)

I have had alcohol (complimentary just-a-sip teens get from their parents :/)

I have scored a winning goal in sports (uhhhhh ONCE dont ask how idk how it happened either)

I have been to an overnight event (!!! hell yah gotta love overnight field trips)

I have been in a taxi (listen ive lived in ny for 3 years i probably did but dont remember it)

I have been in a hospital/ER in the last year (not much other than the Knee Incident [growth spurt my ass] and that wasn’t even an ER it was just a physicians place) (+ moms a nurse so being in a hospital just for visiting purposes)

I have beaten a video game in one day (again, dedication,,)

I have visited another country (ayy Philippines)

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

I have at least one person I consider a best friend

I live close to my school (used to, not really anymore)

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling (wish her a happy birthday, 12/22)

I live in the US

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with friends in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s (they’re not /mine/ but it is likely there are cds lying around here somewhere)

I share my room with someone

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know (atm, feelings are weird and im not feelin much rn [theres potential in there somewhere but for now ehhh])

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them 

I get crushes easily (used to till the Six Year Incident happened, now im kinda dead inside)

I have had a crush for over a year (Six Year Incident)

I have been in a relationship for over a year

I have feelings for a friend

I have break danced 

I know a person called Jamie

I have made a new friend in the past year (yea!! yall are great <3)

I have had a teacher with a last name hard to pronounce (hahahahaha dont test me)

I have dyed my hair

I am listening to a song on repeat right now (wow not on repeat but how’d ya know?? im listening to my playlist rn)

I have punched someone in the past week

I have known someone who has gone to jail (udhfaksdkfh yea??)

I have broken a bone (no snap crackle pop here)

I have eaten a waffle today (i wiSH)

I know what to do with my life (I REALLY DONT)

I speak at least two languages (yo no hablo espanol??)

[caepaecaesurae]

> CC: Thank Meenah

Yesterday at 5:07 PM

caepaecaesurae WVe'vwe split, and the safe-house wvon't be needed anymore, on my end at least.  I'vwe left a small thank you present on the kitchen counter. I'd be in your debt if you could wvipe the coordinates used off of the pad's history list, if and wvhen convwenient. Thank you again, and havwe a nice night.

Yesterday at 9:38 PM

brackishbarracuda yeah i can do that isle head over in an hour oar so brackishbarracuda s good to sea u caepaecaesurae Good to see you too.  I appreciate the neutrality and the assistance. Havwing somewvhere empty to go helped more than once.

Today at 12:13 AM

brackishbarracuda ive been fused before an efin when its ppl u give a shit aboat its hard so i mean some place where u didnt have any extra ppl shoutin at u seemed pike a good idea to me caepaecaesurae It wvas. Did you separate from wvhomevwer it wvas peaceably?  Or vwia incompatibility? brackishbarracuda peaceably for both thankfully one was def a hell of a lot rockier than the other one tho aight the best puns are the ones u didnt mean to make i cannaut believe caepaecaesurae I do enjoy those ones. brackishbarracuda did u ever get hit w the gem thing caepaecaesurae As I am lost, it seems I did not. brackishbarracuda lemme find u a picture for full effect aight bc shit is stupid and mine was pike stupid times two brackishbarracuda http://imgur.com/sPQFO8t there we go rly tho how tf puts that shit on ur foot caepaecaesurae WVhat is that? brackishbarracuda aight so theres the weird sentient rock aliens who p much project around w/e rock they are an they do the fuse thing on purpose pike thats a thing they can do and a bunch a ppl got hit w it a while back usually shits pike on ur hand or ur forhead oar ur arm or somefin but no brackishbarracuda nah it was on my cod damn foot caepaecaesurae First I'vwe heard about them. ... You havwe my sympathies. WVhy the foot? brackishbarracuda idk i do naut fuckin no thats just where it was when i got got caepaecaesurae I imagine you sawv the tittastrophe wve had? brackishbarracuda yeah brackishbarracuda yeah that shore was somefin i saw w my own two eyes brackishbarracuda howd that whole thing go efin caepaecaesurae It looked rather like wve wvere split dowvn the middle vwertically in a lot of respects. The side wvith no breast had short hair like mine. WVe made a falsie so clothes wvould fit. brackishbarracuda now sea i woulda just said fuck it and done the whole half clothes shit pike jacket on one and dress on the other deal caepaecaesurae tsk.  I should'vwe talked to you more, that'd be a hell of a look. brackishbarracuda i mean u aint gotta b fused to pull it off right caepaecaesurae True.  It wvould complete the look though. caepaecaesurae I may try a half-and-half garment of some sort soon. brackishbarracuda plz take pictures i need this shit caepaecaesurae I do lovwe my selfie tag. brackishbarracuda s cause its good shit caepaecaesurae Howv do you feel about breasted, marginally nsfwv pictures of me? brackishbarracuda im down caepaecaesurae http://caepaecaesurae.tumblr.com/post/130431613390/speaking-of-anons-d brackishbarracuda v nice dam tho where tf did u get half those scars brackishbarracuda impressive caepaecaesurae I don't normally showv much skin. The large round ones on the legs are from an air battle invwolvwing laser cannons, during the game. brackishbarracuda uh first off fuckin ow caepaecaesurae Pff. Yes, but wve wvon. brackishbarracuda secondly i get it if u aint comfy w it oar w/e but u ought show more a it imo and that right theres why caepaecaesurae A good half of the scars you see there are from my first century on Alternia. ...at the end of wvhich, I began wvearing neck to wvrist to ankle bodyarmor, of the sort contained in that package.  Havwe you stopped by that hivwe yet, by the by? brackishbarracuda shit yeah i did i thought id said thank u btw caepaecaesurae You may havwe, I'm scattered lately. brackishbarracuda pike seariously i aint been in a searious scrape in a while but pike dam i cant get away from nofin w/o bleedin it feels like caepaecaesurae Armor that no one knowvs you're wvearing can be a wvonderful game changer. It turns a knife in the ribs into an invwitation to play. brackishbarracuda as much as i like it and the apron tbh shit is nice brackishbarracuda u probably made clams night more than mine w the armor caepaecaesurae I hope it servwes wvell, or entertains.  Or that the flavwor vwials do. brackishbarracuda hes the one whos gotta stitch me up half the tide caepaecaesurae A good role for a quadrant. If you elect to wvear the vwest, at least he'll only be stitching up limbs. brackishbarracuda lmao yeah fair also i should punch u in the nose for the fuckin shit u sent me pike it was so good that it legit made me mad how tf caepaecaesurae ... Hope player.  "Beyond belief" is my playground. brackishbarracuda throws my dam hands caepaecaesurae I can make things that I can imagine.  Cae*fora* made things that *She* could imagine. brackishbarracuda shit is fucked up caepaecaesurae A bit.  ... I usually try to make things that are slightly less... Intense... than that... I hope it wvasn't too much? brackishbarracuda isle survive but my tongue aint gonna b  happy w anyfin ever again this is me jokin mostly i aint upset at u oar anyfin caepaecaesurae ..Still, pardon. brackishbarracuda s aight cae ur good brackishbarracuda seariously tho why aint u show off ur scars more 38? caepaecaesurae Enough of them havwe unfortunate sources for it to be uncomfortable wvhen specific ones are indicated and remarked on, much of the time. caepaecaesurae ... Mostly, I don't like taking my armor off, evwer. I'vwe been getting better at removwing it long enough for selfies though. brackishbarracuda well dam the one u just showed me took some fuckin guts then didnt it caepaecaesurae Heh.  It wvas taken during a period of amnesia wvhere I didn't remember wvhere most of them wvere from. brackishbarracuda do u think u could do it again caepaecaesurae Possibly, though I think my selfie tag could use more less sexual things. brackishbarracuda u oughta take a pic w arlequin oar somefin then how tall efin are u btw pike are u taller than he is oar shorter or caepaecaesurae I'm a good foot and a half shorter than him, last I checked. brackishbarracuda well that makes me feel beta at least caepaecaesurae My adult height in sevweral centuries ought to be near wvhere he is nowv. brackishbarracuda yall are entirely too fuckin tall u kno that caepaecaesurae So I hear. If it makes you feel any better, all the humans top out somewvhere in the six or sevwen range I think.  They all look somewvhere betwveen fivwe and six nowv. The carapacians are a foot or twvo belowv that. brackishbarracuda pike im saury i realize u probably hear that alot but i am half a arlequins now hight an he was talkin pike sixteen feet an im overe here pike dude ur gonna b over three times my size how tf is that gonna efin work caepaecaesurae Carefully and wvith gusto. brackishbarracuda aight tru tho caepaecaesurae Havwe you evwer done the thing wvhere you rest hip to hip wvith a partner and pretend theirs is yours and marvwel at the difference? Some trolls enjoy that. I think that one wvill only improvwe as he ages, for you. caepaecaesurae "Look wvhat I'm packing nowv" brackishbarracuda i havent and now im kinda wonderin wtf ive been doin w my life caepaecaesurae You're wvelcome. .. Then again I'vwe used googly eyes in the bedroom before, so maybe my advwice isn't the best. brackishbarracuda bouy nah fuck that im gonna get a pack and use em on dirk that shit is perf caepaecaesurae My partner grewv annoyed and ripped them off, wvhich is honestly all I could hope for. brackishbarracuda tbh hell probably laugh till he cries which i count as a win brackishbarracuda but yeah tbh rippin em off sounds pike a good idea brackishbarracuda u kno me an u oughtta hang out sometide caepaecaesurae WVe should, I imagine wve'd get into heaps of trouble if any wvas avwailable. brackishbarracuda trouble is kinda my thing yeah brackishbarracuda i eel pike youd enjoy some trouble caepaecaesurae Once upon a time, maybe.  It's been a wvhile, and I might be a bit more boring nowv. Nice things, good stories, and good laughs?  Those are dear to heart. brackishbarracuda now sea mr suns out guns out tenta tattoo false boob ampora w the hella scars i aint believe you wouldnt enjoy a little trouble caepaecaesurae I'vwe had a vwery interesting life. I'm relearning howv to enjoy trouble. brackishbarracuda isle sea if i cant think of some baby trouble steps caepaecaesurae Sounds like a treat to me. caepaecaesurae Let me knowv sometime, alright? brackishbarracuda yeah def at the v least ur fun to talk to and anybody i can b a bad influence on is aight by me u feel caepaecaesurae Aye, I hear you It'd be nice to lean back in that direction somenight.  I'vwe been sitting around drinking tea a wvhile. brackishbarracuda s easy to get restless i aint efin alternian and sometides i just need to move and tear into somefin before that somefin becomes me caepaecaesurae Aye. ...I sail a ship around sometimes.  Transport pads to get back to hivwe often. Plenty of wvild lands out there to explore. brackishbarracuda theres plenty a world here to sea if u ever decide u wanna we aint managed a drone yet be in a week oar so probably caepaecaesurae The mile-high deer?  Aye I'vwe a curiosity. I'm relievwed that you're considering the drone. brackishbarracuda im uh considerin more than the drone tbh caepaecaesurae Aye? brackishbarracuda been thinkin a puttin my crown on and meanin it caepaecaesurae Lacking in context, I'm imagining you calling yourself queen of a single hivwe surrounded by largish deer. brackishbarracuda i mean in all technicality i earned the fuckin thing i blew up my planet i killed the empress so by right etc etc blah blah blah i just been runnin from it since brackishbarracuda no u aint wrong i gotta start somwhere fuckin ridiculous as it is if they aint anybody else on the planet isle take it theres a small frozen planet my ex red left me so thats two off the bat ig caepaecaesurae If there's no one else it seems a bit... abrupt. Then again, givwen a single wvorking mothergrub, one is nevwer far from an empire. I suspect Arlequin wvould havwe mixed feelings. brackishbarracuda ive convinced my spade to let me sit w em and do some political diplomatic shit and i aint lookin to be a bloody conquerer im just lookin to stop runnin from what i was hatched for mayb do some decent shit w whatever authority i got somefin betta than home was anyway caepaecaesurae I wvish you luck wvith it if you do. brackishbarracuda thanks 38/ caepaecaesurae It's hard to get in trouble wvhen you're in charge. brackishbarracuda why u gotta do me like this caepaecaesurae WVell... Ask Tyfora howv much fun her powver is. brackishbarracuda id rather naut caepaecaesurae Ask Arlequin howv much he wvants to strivwe for a newv flag -- at least, this early. brackishbarracuda i oughta talk to him aboat it tho yeah caepaecaesurae Powver is complicated.  That's all. caepaecaesurae More so than you might be preparing yourself for. brackishbarracuda i aint trynna rush into anyfin aight an isle talk to arlequin i kno shit aint easy it aint somefin im thinkin aboat lightly caepaecaesurae Then I wvish you luck.  I'm cautious about swvearing loyalties lightly, but you'll likely havwe me on call if emergencies strike. brackishbarracuda i dont take that lightly either cae thank u i afishiate it caepaecaesurae WVe'll see wvhat comes.  I'm afraid it's late though.  Another night? brackishbarracuda a course thanks for talkin at me caepaecaesurae Looking forwvard to it.  Rest wvell wvhen you go. brackishbarracuda yeah sleep good