#ahhhhhhhhhhh I’m having big feelings

[milo-is-rambling]

I find it so funny that summer is when the yearning starts bc all my oc writing is still housed in wattpad drafts (too lazy to move my self indulgent stories to my google docs) and it all says last edited in late May or June July August like all my self indulgent imaginary soulmate shit is just bc I get incredibly lonely in the summer and it’s so much easier to daydream constantly when you’re working shitty retail jobs with repetitive tasks ands the days feel like you’re swimming thru molasses and everything is sticky and you’re eating cold fruit constantly and smoking and lounging around in front of a fan like it’s what you were born to do and so you’re laying there with your eyes closed imagining the way it would feel to be loved by someone as imperfect as you and so you write OC’s that you always used as a way to brainstorm a world where you didn’t want to die you imagine a version of yourself that did it all right the first time and or built something from the failure you feel now and so you spend all summer writing about an imaginary love and an imaginary happy future bc the summer drags u slowly against the burning pavement and you need to remember what it’s all been for you need to find a version of yourself you could imagine someone loving

[harrysfolklore]

Can you please, pretty pretty please do another Zendaya one??

fake social media

okay i’m kinda nervous bc this is the first time i post for someone who’s not harry so HI i do social media au blurbs and i hope you like this one i did for tom 🥲 let me know your thoughts and send in requests if you have any !

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by hunterschafer, tomblyth and 5,119,083 others

yourinstagram Thank you so much @vogueitalia for having me 🤍 Interview out tomorrow

view all 36,196 comments

ynfan1 STUNNING

alexademie ❤️⭐️!!!

ynfan2 models should be glad she chose acting as a career

dualipa MOTHER 🤍

ynfan3 i wonder what kind of tea she spilled on the interview

tomblyth ❤️

↳ tomfan1 HELLO?

↳ tomfan2 ariana what are you doing here

liked by ynfan1, tomfan1 and 302,922 others

enews We’re losing our minds over this new Hollywood romance. 🥹 Link in bio to see how YN hard launched their relationship (📸: Getty)

view all 5,027 comments

tomfan1 OMFGGGG

ynfan1 THIS IS GIVING ME LIFE

tomfan2 NOOOO 💔

ynfan2 “my love life has always been private but this time just feels right to let the world know” NO I CANT MY HEART

↳ tomfan3 DYING

liked by rachelzegler, yourinstagram and 502,826 others

tomblyth Sneak peak at our inconspicuous movie about 2 totally chill birdwatchers with no emotional damage whatsoever… 😏

view all 6,065 comments

tomfan1 AHHHHHHHHHHH

ynfan1 this movie is going to be so good

hunterschafer ❤️

tomfan2 THE SLAY OF THE CENTURY

ynfan2 okay now i get yn

yourinstagram Those are my babies 🤍

↳ ynfan3 we love a supportive girlfriend

↳ tomfan3 i’m definitely not jealous

liked by ynfan1, tomfan1 and 6,927 others

tomupdates Tom and YN in Los Angeles today !

view all 509 comments

tomfan1 STOP THIS

ynfan1 WELL

tomfan2 AHHHHHH

ynfan2 people who don’t support this relationship are so lame bc look at them

tomfan3 she visited him on set 👀

liked by hunterschafer, yourinstagram and 511,028 others

tomblyth Come back to the beginning of the games with us @songbirdsandsnakes

view all 6,919 comments

tomfan1 AHHH OMG

ynfan1 what a time to be alive

rachelzegler YES !!!

songbirdsandsnakes We are SO there! ❤️

yourinstagram SUPER PROUD MY LOVE 🤍🤍

↳ ynfan2 AHHHHHH

↳ tomblyth I love you ❤️

↳ tomfan2 I JUST DIED DEAD

liked by tomblyth, sza and 5,287,209 others

yourinstagram Exciting things coming

view all 37,028 comments

ynfan1 SAY SIKE

tomfan1 she’s dating my man i can’t

hunterschafer they’re not ready

↳ ynfan2 SPILL THE BEANS

ynfan3 the way this could literally be anything

tomblyth Gorgeous ❤️

↳ tomfan2 im still in the denial phase btw

FANS VIA TWITTER

//

liked by tomblyth, oliviarodrigo and 6,927,019 others

yourinstagram CAN’T CATCH ME NOW from @songbirdsandsnakes will be out today. The film and the rest of the soundtrack are out November 17th. Thank you to sweet angel @oliviarodrigo for writing this song and letting me sing it, this is so special to me 🤍

view all 76,207 comments

ynfan1 OMFGGGGG

mtv Our skin is clear. Our grades are all A’s. This is exactly what we needed

ynfan2 SINGER YN IS SO ALIVE

tomfan1 OHHHH LORDDDDD

hunterschafer ❤️❤️❤️😭

tomfan2 she 🥹 did this 🥹 for tom 🥹

ynfan3 the things she does for love i guess bc i thought she was allergic to studios

tomblyth So proud of you 🤍

↳ tomfan3 WHAT IF CRY

↳ yourinstagram Wouldn’t have done with without your encouragement 🥺

↳ ynfan4 IM MELTING

liked by hunterschafer, yourinstagram and 639,573 others

tomblyth HG film dump. Just some of the many people I love who breathed life into this movie. @songbirdsandsnakes opens tomorrow 🤍

view all 7,022 comments

tomfan1 CRYING

rachelzegler See you on the big screen 🙌🏻

ynfan1 i can’t wait to see it omg

yourinstagram SUPER PROUD ❤️ I love you !

↳ ynfan2 AHHH SO CUTE

↳ tomfan2 that should be me

tomfan3 i was here before hunger games

liked by tomblyth, alexademie and 6,926,209 others

yourinstagram TBOSBAS is on theaters now and all I can say is that I love every single human being involved in it and I’m so proud of them 🤍 Oh and thank you for all the support for Can’t Catch Me Now, you make me all mushy 🥲

view all 39,026 comments

ynfan1 AWEEEEEE

tomfan1 LOOK AT MY BABY

rachelzegler We love you sweet angel ! Having you on set was a blast❤

↳ ynfan2 MY BABIEEEEES

tomfan2 WE NEED MORE TOM BTS CONTENT

ynfan3 okay can we get a full album now

↳ yourinstagram I only release music for special occasions 🤍

↳ tomfan3 AHHH SHE DID IT FOR TOM

tomblyth Thank you for being my rock and bringing me bagels, I love you honey ❤

↳ tomfan1 OH TO BE CALLED HONEY BY TOM

↳ ynfan1 i'm melting

liked by harryfan1, ynfan1 and 409,299 others

people Our favorite off-screen couple has arrived to the #BalladOfSongbirdsAndSnakes premiere ! Link in our bio for more pictures.

view all 21,065 comments

tomfan1 AHHHHH I CANT

ynfan1 they're matching my heart

tomfan2 THEIR RED CARPET SLASH PREMIERE DEBUT

ynfan2 yn is such a supportive girlfriend tom is so lucky

↳ tomfan3 they're so lucky to have each other 🥺

INTERVIEWS BY TOM AND THE CAST DURING THE PREMIERE

//

liked by tomfan1, ynfan2 and 13,038 others

tomupdates Tom and YN at the TBOSAS premiere ! 🥺

view all 822 comments

tomfan1 AHHHH

ynfan1 i can’t take their cuteness anymore

tomfan2 i’m so damn jealous ngl

ynfan2 WHIPPED

tomfan3 i’m bisexual bc of them

liked by tomblyth, dualipa and 6,028,984 others

yourinstagram Snow lands on top. The man of the hour

view all 78,019 comments

ynfan1 AHHHHH

tomfan1 SO TRUE IT BOY

hunterschafer Love you both 🤍

ynfan2 she’s down horrendousss omg

tomfan2 i get her if tom was my boyfriend i would post pics of him all the time

tomblyth I love you so much ❤️

↳ tomfan3 WHAT IF I CRY

↳ ynfan3 they’re equally down bad

liked by yourinstagram, rachelzegler and 1,002,109 others

tomblyth Dream girl ❤️

view all 21,299 comments

tomfan1 NO WAY

ynfan1 IM CRYING

alexiademie 💘⭐️

ynfan2 ahhh this is what she deserves

tomfan2 tom is such a soft boyfriend i could cry

yourinstagram 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹❤️

↳ ynfan3 they’re endgame i swear

[girlygguk]

BEHIND THE SCENES | JJK

banner by the gorgeous @runariya <3

3/3 teaser for my pick the fic! poll 📊 currently in third place we have... behind the scenes

[pairing] idol jk x twitch streamer (f)reader

[teaser content] sfw, 1.4k words, jk and yn are '97 liners, oc is a professional esports player & twitch streamer, in this fic jk is down SO bad, but in this teaser it looks like yn is the simp (i mean she is, but trust me when i say jk is… whipped), a cute lil moment from when they were new friends & a cute lil moment from when they’re besties

A few days later, you were curled up in bed, having finished your stream for the day. Your laptop rested beside you as you watched the MMA Awards live broadcast.

Your hands flew to your mouth when the announcer read the winner for Album of the Year.

BTS.

Their faces, full of shock, joy, and disbelief, made your brows scrunch as you tried not to cry.

They did it.

You watched as Namjoon gave their acceptance speech, the other members too overwhelmed to speak. Your grin grew so big your cheeks hurt, and you kicked your feet giddily against the mattress. Jungkook had been so sure they wouldn’t win. But you’d known they would.

With fingers shaking, you scrambled to open your messages app

[10:45 PM] You: OH MY GODDES JUNGKOOOKKKKKK CONGERRATILATIONSAA!!!!!!!! YOU DID ITTT 😭😭😭😭💗💗💗💗 IM SO HAPPT FOR YOU

Your heart raced as you sent the flood of messages. You knew he wouldn’t see them right away — he had way more important things going on right now — but you had to let it out.

In the past weeks, you and Jungkook had been messaging constantly. It started on Instagram but quickly moved to iMessage, with even a few FaceTime calls. Although your schedule was packed with daily streams and team content, you still had way more free time than he did. But somehow, with the little free time he did have, he seemed to want to spend it talking to you.

It was safe to say you were feeling a little delusional.

10:47 PM | Incoming call from Jungkook

Okay, maybe a lot delusional.

“Oh my godddd,” his voice came through the second you picked up, quiet and breathless. “Oh my god, Y/n-yah…”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!” you screamed into the phone, legs slamming up and down on the bed as you let your excitement out. “Jungkook-ah! You did it! I knew it! Ahhhhhhhhh!”

His Elmo-giggle rang through your speaker, and you couldn’t help but laugh along. “Well done, Jungkook-ah. You deserve this so much. I’m so happy for you. I know how much this means to you guys.”

You heard a soft sniffle, and your heart clenched as you brought both hands up to hold the phone closer. “No… Jungkookie, please don’t cry. Unless they’re happy tears… Are they happy tears?”

Your voice softened, and Jungkook let out a quiet chuckle. A warmth spread through him as he ignored the flutter in his stomach at hearing you call him Jungkookie for the first time.

“M’in the bathroom,” he mumbled, adjusting the phone. “But yeah, they’re happy tears. Thank you, Y/n-yah. I’m so happy.”

“Good,” you replied gently, your smile widening. “I’m proud of you, you know? We’ve only been friends for what? A couple weeks?” You laughed softly. “But I feel this, like, strong sense of pride for you? God, that must sound so weird—”

“No,” he cut in, his voice a little raspy and so warm. “I know what you mean.” He added quietly, “I love that you feel like that. Thank you.”

You couldn’t stop the grin spreading across your face as you curled your knees to your chest, leaning against the headboard. “Good,” you mumbled a little shyly, and Jungkook’s stomach clenched at the sound of your soft tone. “Then I’m officially your biggest fan.”

Three years later, both of you were undeniably at the top of your crafts.

Your online fame had skyrocketed to the point where you were recognized almost everywhere you went. As the biggest female streamer on Twitch, hailed as the most talked-about content creator of 2019, and with three consecutive League of Legends Champions Korea trophies under your belt, life felt fucking surreal.

Meanwhile, BTS had firmly cemented themselves as the biggest music group in the world, smashing Billboard and domestic chart records left and right. Since their first daesang in 2016, they’d become the artist with the most daesang wins in MAMA history and overall. Alongside his brothers, Jungkook was ruling the world.

And god, were you hopelessly in love with him.

You couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it happened, but ever since that random day he’d messaged you on Instagram, the two of you had only grown closer.

That day, though, you remembered like it was yesterday.

You’d woken up around one in the afternoon, dragging yourself and your phone to the bathroom to wash up. The charity stream the night before had run late, so you’d only managed to crawl out of bed hours later. It wasn’t the worst it had been; your gaming addiction had long since wrecked your sleep schedule, so going to bed at sunrise and waking up when it had already disappeared was your routine.

As you brushed your teeth, you scrolled through social media, snorting when you saw another troll message in your DM requests

[11:36 AM] @ abcdefghi__lmnopqrstuvwxyz: hellooo👋 this is Jeon Jungkook from BTS 😃

You still don't know why you responded. Usually, you didn’t. But maybe the 0.01% chance that it was actually him had your fingers darting to reply before you could think it through.

You often wondered what would’ve happened if you’d just ignored it like you usually did with those kinds of messages. Would he have tried again? Reached out to your manager? One of your teammates? Probably not.

But with the way your best friend acts now, you liked to imagine that maybe he would’ve.

“Uh huh, I’m coming down now, Kookie,” you muttered, balancing your phone on speaker while your arms were overloaded with stuff. You stubbornly twisted the handle of your apartment door, refusing to set anything down.

Through the speaker, Jungkook’s amused voice teased, “What are you holding in your mouth?”

You laughed around the strap of the Bluetooth speaker you were biting. “Speaker,” you mumbled, words muffled by the device.

“Yah, why?” Jungkook whined, laughing. “Mine’s just fine…”

You could picture his face so clearly — brows furrowed in mock offense with a cute little pout, which only made your grin widen. “Really?” you teased, finally managing to get the door open and kicking it shut behind you. You tilted the speaker above your free hand, letting it drop safely into your palm. “Yours is ancient, Jungkookie,” you teased. “All that money, and you still refuse to upgrade…”

His loud laugh rang through the speaker, warming you the way it always did. “It’s called being savvy,” he hummed, his footsteps crackling through the phone. “You wouldn’t know, Miss ‘splurges on every latest gadget.’”

You gasped in mock offense, eyes widening in exaggerated shock. “Tch,” you muttered, your smile faltering when you realized you had too much in your hands to lock the door. “Hold on, Kookie, I have to put some things down to lock my door—”

You froze at the sound of footsteps coming up the staircase, your head snapping toward the noise. But when you saw who it was, your shoulders relaxed instantly, and your face lit up with delight.

There he was, standing at the top step with that familiar lopsided smile, his eyes sparkling with amusement. Jungkook had already ended the call, tucking his phone into his pocket as he walked toward you.

“Told you I was coming down,” you pouted, though your expression softened as his big arms wrapped around you and the mountain of stuff you were balancing. “You didn’t have to walk up.”

Jungkook shrugged, his fingers giving your sides a gentle squeeze as he pulled away, eyes scanning you with his usual curiosity. “S’okay. Where are your keys?”

You shifted slightly, lifting your arm just enough for him to reach into your purse. He fished out your keys, locking the door and twisting the handle to make sure it was secure. Satisfied, he dropped the keys back in your bag, then slipped the strap off your shoulder and onto his own. He took most of the items from your arms with ease, his larger frame making it look like nothing.

Tilting your head, you shot him a teasing look, nodding at the cream-colored Dior purse now hanging at his side. “Suits you,” you grinned.

Jungkook flashed you a boyish smile as you leaned closer, slipping your phone into the bag before giving his belly a soft pat in thanks. “So cute,” you giggled, tugging him along as you made your way down the staircase.

join the taglist

[peachhcs]

the soft launch (more like hard launch) → social media post

hughes!sister x will smith au

hi! here’s the first post for my new au :) i figured this is a great way to introduce samy as well as her dynamic with everyone else. i’ll be posting more actual fics soon, but also please comment or send me what else you’d like to see for them!!

ps. all of these photos are from pinterest/instagram

au masterlist

samyhughes semester 1 has my heart <3

view all comments

lauren11 BAE I LOVE YOU!!

| samyhughes I LOVE YOU!!!!!

hannahduke HELL YEAH UMICH!

| samyhughes ROLL WOLVES! 🐺

user1 THE YOUNGEST HUGHES IS IN COLLEGE ALREADY???

user2 WAIT WHO IS THIRD PIC??😦

dylanduke25 can’t believe you’re roommates with my little sister i feel like this is so full circle??

| samyhughes LMAOO i feel you dyl

| lhughes_06 ur telling me

edwards.73 casually posting a pic of someone holding a high noon and then proceeds to make caption first semester which means your underage 😐😐

| samyhughes ok mom

markestapa WOOOOOO so glad ur at umich with us!

| samyhughes remember when you cried when luke told u i was coming to michigan?

| markestapa now why would u say that on the internet

colecaufield MICHIGAN MICHIGAN MICHIGAN!

| jackhughes why are you giving this energy to my little sister? 😐

| colecaufield bc i want to??

jackhughes wait a minute the 3rd pic…where is his mouth…

| samyhughes umm..

user3 luke’s michigan friends are literally her second brothers AHHHH

user4 wait who isss the guy in the 3rd pic???? she has a bf???

user5 we lost another one boys 😭

jacob_fowler24 michigan shit 🔛🔝

| samyhughes what does this even mean??

ryan.leno_4 still shoulda come to boston

| samyhughes sorry lean u should of come to michigan 🤷‍♀️

aram_minnetian okay hard launch

| samyhughes what i do best ☺️

_quinnhughes STOP STEALING MY HATS WTF

| samyhughes NO

lhughes_06 this post gets a rating of 2/10 because 1. there’s underage drinking and that’s a no no 2. his mouth is on your boob 3. i just don’t like this post

| samyhughes alright. 🫠

user6 mouth placement??????

user7 istg if that’s will smith i’m losing it

user8 her and will dating makes so much sense omg

graceccsmith so cute samy!!

| samyhughes thanks gracie!! i miss you

_willvote my man made the gram!

| samyhughes ok expose me

gabeperreault44 GET REKTTTTTTTT

| samyhughes gabe i swear 😭

_willsmith2 hi buddy i miss you

| samyhughes hi smitty i miss you too come visit me soon

user9 ^^^^ NAHH it’s so will smith

| user10 THEYRE SO ADORABLE AWWW

| user11 childhood best friends to lovers pipeline is so real

_willsmith2 looking good beantown

view all comments

gabeperreault44 good stuff good stuff

| _willsmith2 thanks gp

ryan.leno_4 everyone’s hard launching i see

| _willsmith2 oops

user1 THIS IS FOR SURE SAMY I KNOW IT

graceccsmith so cute will 🥰

| _willsmith2 thanks g😀

jacob_fowler24 damn it when is will gonna hard launch me???

| _willsmith2 next time i promise 😫

aram_minnetian ok we get it u have a gf

| _willsmith2 😀😀

user2 AHHHHHHHHHHH WILL AND SAMY CONFIRMED????

user3 them being best friends before this makes this so much better too

user4 someone get them on a podcast or some shit so we can get the backstory!!!

user5 they’re very golden retriever and golden retriever energy

_willvote i hope i’m invited to the wedding in like 10 years

| _willsmith2 ur 1 on the list

hannahduke WHEN HE POSTS HER >>>

| ryan.leno_4 she’s so lucky fr

| samyhughes 😙😙

edwards.73 invading the bf comments hi bf

| _willsmith2 hi ethan

| user6 THEY ALREADY KNOW HIM????? SHDJDJ

markestapa i was summoned and now i see why

| user7 LMAOOO i love mark and ethan

user8 mark and ethan are very big brother being protective core while samy’s at umich bc her actual brothers aren’t there

trevorzegras i am here too

| user9 LMAO TREVOR??!

lhughes_06 looking good so far smitty

| _willsmith2 thanks luke 🤝

jackhughes i’m still looking at u bc of that one pic on my sister’s post…suspicious…

| _willsmith2 pls forgive me jack it was an honest mistake

user10 THE BROTHERS ARE SO FUNNY LDJDJDKS

user11 i’m sure will’s scared of all these boys acting like samy’s big brother

elblue06 so cute will!

| _willsmith2 thanks mama hughes!

| user12 HE CALLS HER MOM ALREADY??!!!

| user13 well she is like his 2nd mom bc their families are so close. i think he calls her that regardless of him dating her daughter LMAO

dylanduke25 found out samy has a bf when i saw this post on my little sister’s feed :/

| samyhughes LMAO sorry dylan

_quinnhughes see you during the holidays!

| _willsmith2 can’t wait to come back to michigan!

rutgermcgroarty 😦😦😦 baby hughes has a bf??? and it’s the 4th overall pick from the nhl draft?

| user14 my exact reaction

samyhughes looks like i’ve taught u well🫡

| _willsmith2 i only learn from the best

this is so long my bad but i just love writing the comments for these LOL

[jaylleoo14]

Thinking of a punk Floyd and cottage core Jade, and sometimes they would switch styles to throw people off >:3 (Also can we please ignore that Floyd literally has so much drabbles-) Look, if you've read my DNI already you should be familiar that I do like more of these darker and toxic topics/tropes in fiction. But I was thinking of a bullying one where the tweels try and make you more dependent on the other so they could trap you ukno? Now personally, sometimes I dont think i’m too big on like the bulliedxbully but LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHH omgomgomgomogmg the brain is ROTTING!!! Punk Floyd bullying you into having you to rely on Jade and Jade cooing you with sweet words as he comforts you, only to bring you back to Punk Floyd. Or Cottage Core Jade manipulating a situation or spreading some false rumors about you to have you get into a fight, only for Floyd to be around and save you from the situation. And its just the same repetitive process till you slowly break and become theirs.

The only way to have Floyd become nicer to you is to start hanging out with him more. But you dont want to hang with him, I mean, who'd want to hang out with their bully am I right? Though Jade's piercing words make you reconsider because he isn't going to be there to comfort you forever. You might as well be on better terms with him. So you do. You try to fearfully make an effort to get along with Floyd, and surprisingly why is he a lot nicer than before? Yea sure he still teases you and treats you a little roughly but he acts a bit more tender than before and much more mindful. Around this time though you begin to become wary of Jade. Sometimes you seek refuge in Floyds arms because of the things Jade tends to say, and with these two scary guys hanging around constantly, you seem to get more isolated from your friends. Jades work behind the scenes to spread some little "words' ' towards your friends and every time you come back to hang out and talk with them they inch away further. Their faces are shown with a mix of fear or discomfort. And you know this is Jades doing because he's always there when you turn around. He knows you know. But could you honestly blame them? They just love you so much! They want you to themselves, and yes they have shared nasty fights about it but the results came in and lord and behold. It's on a positive note that they will be sharing you. Maybe not so positive for you, but very delightful for them. They just love that fearful look in your face, the frustrated tones in your voice, and how adorable and cute you look overall. Not only that but Floyd loves it when he cages his arms around you whenever he teases/roughly plays around with you. And Jade loves it when you go to him, burying your tear filled face into his chest or shoulders from the aftermath of Floyds bullying. I can imagine Floyd getting all whiny a little after as he comes over seeing you hugging Jade trying to seek some sort of comfort and that satisfied look on his face. Jades brushing your hair as you continue to cry in his wool knitted sweater and now Floyds is just irritated. He's coming over and pulling you off of Jade in such a forceful manner that it catches you to stop crying for a moment. He's holding you close to himself and slightly aggressively patting your back like one would to calm down a baby, positioning you on his lap for a more comfortable hold. "Ahhhhh jeez stop huggin' Jade like that. Here, look, I'm sorry okay? Shhhhh just be quiet now." His hold on you is tight, as if wanting you to just let him do this. Like he's always done. Though it doesnt exactly help with your tears. "Oh look, you're making them even more scared fufufu." God you hate this. The way you have no one else to turn to other than Jade and Floyd, but when Floyds around you cant help but hide yourself from Jade when he makes you feel a sort of humiliation. "Hm? Now lookit' here Jade, you're makin them all shy." Floyd brings his free hand to your head, pushing it down gently to the nook of neck with your stifled tears. "Shy" was the wrong word to describe it, but he knew that he was just underplaying it. "They're shaking," Floyd remarks. "It seems so. Is something wrong (y/n)?"

The audacity... THE AUDACITY OF HIM ASKING THAT! You have to be around them, its either one or the other. Because whenever you're not, they ensure that something happens just so you could go back to them once again. "Here, why dont you come into my arms (y/n)? I'll comfort you better like i've always done." Jades extending his arms out to grab a hold of you but Floyds tugging you away. "You've already got enough time with them, its my turn to have shrimpy to myself." You can only stiffen yourself a bit in his hold, continuing to just let yourself sit on his lap as you lay your head on his shoulders. Nothing but sniffles as you try and calm down. Jade is deeply displeased with this, a darker look shadowing over his face. “Oh? I’m pretty sure I was talking with (y/n). You should learn when to know who's talking to who Floyd.” You can feel a fight brewing up, slighting clenching your hand onto Floyds fishnets over his black shirt. “I dont give a fuck, shrimpy’s mine. Piss off.” 

Floyds beginning to get into a nasty mood himself, and Jade is starting to also get heavily irritated with you being in Floyds arms instead of his. Though with a slightly strained smile but dark glinted eyes, Jade speaks in a low tone. “Yours? We agreed to share, and they certainly dont look comfortable-” 

But before Jade could finish his sentence Floyd goes in and kisses your wet cheeks, his black lipstick smeared and now planted and marked on your wet cheeks. “Too late~” You were definitely caught off guard by this, a slight gasp squeezing out of you. And with that, Jade snaps. He’s pulling Floyds head back with the most viscous strength and Floyd lets go of you. You fall off of his lap so suddenly and so abashedly. Now on the floor, your eyes still being red and puffy, your cheeks being a tad bit moist from the leftover streaks of tears, and now a black kiss mark, you watch as the two brothers start to go all out on each other. Floyds going in for nasty punches and Jades pinning him down. Jade’s jealous. Ohhhh so jealous. Not once was he able to give you a kiss, but Floyd has? Not only that but he got to leave a mark of the kiss as well. Things are starting to get bloodied between the two with their completely enraged fistfight, throwing each other around and taking in powerhouse swings of kicks. The sheer monstrosities these two are, it only makes you wonder what else they are capable of. “S-Stop it!” You’re not quite sure why, but you felt the need to do something about this. If you just left, well it isn't that hard to make you come running back once things have calmed down. And just as intended, they stop mid-fight and turn to look at you. Floyds black eyeshadow and black lipstick are all smudged, his face bruised and scraped. Jade shares a similar look, his hair no longer neat and more ragged looking. Parts of their clothes are ripped and torn, Jade's fist is raised in the air as the other is clenched at the collar of Floyds shirt. Floyd has his foot dug into Jade's side, a hand on his neck and his hand clenched into a fist stopping mid air. 

Shit, all you wanted to do was have them stop. But you never actually thought of what to do. You sat there on the floor, still shaken up by witnessing their short but brutal fight. And Jades the first to speak. “Ah, look how shooken up they are. Apologies, I didn't mean to show you such a perturbing sight of me.” Both Jades and Floyds grip on one another loosen up and they both look over at each other. And despite their beaten faces, without needing to speak another word it was like they both knew what to do with those unsettling big grins of theirs. “Ahhh I’m in so much pain because of Jade. He’s such a big meanie you know?” 

“I find that hard to believe when I have all these bruises on me.” They both come back over to you, eerily crawling over. Another wave of fear is ushered out from your throat and you scoot yourself back, only for the both of them to lunge forward and grab your ankles to pull you towards them. “Hmm what's this? Are you trying to run away from us?” 

“Yea, after all that fighting for you Shrimpy you want to run away?”

“You are the reason we fought.” 

“Its only fair you settle it considering you were the one that started it~”

“W-what? I didn’t-” They both tug you down against them further, each one on your side. They wrap their arms so possessively around you and despite just having a fight, they seem to be having a more gentle approach towards you. “Hmmmm though It’s still unfair if Floyd gets to leave his lipstick on you, it bothers me. I want to leave something on you too…” His sudden low voice tickles your ear and you dont really know how to react to this situation. But your hearts beating a bit faster now, and they both seem to know what it is they were doing. “Hey hey shrimpy look at me,” with your head turned over to look at Floyd like he asks, he lets out a satisfied smirk sprawled onto his beaten and makeup smudged face. Jade on the other side goes into gently peppering kisses into your neck and slowly digging his teeth in, taking advantage of the open chance given from Floyd. You react strongly, and to ensure you stay in place they ensure to hold you more firmly. “Just a little nibble. Just a small one. I dont have lipstick on so I had to take other measures, apologies (y/n) fufu” They’ve never made such big romantical advancements like this before, if you can call it romance. If so, then it’d be a very very messed up version of one. But in their arms like this, it felt so comforting. Why have you only been in one's arms when you could have been in both? This has just been so exhausting, and with somewhat mixed feelings despite all that had happened, you go in and kiss Jade on the head. “WHAT?! THAT'S SO UNFAIR!!!” Quickly, you go over to kiss Floyd on the forehead too and he’s quickly more pleased, a pout still forming on his face however since you didn’t pick him to kiss first. Tired. That's all that you are right now. And to just please them, you indulge yourself to them as well. And with the three of you tired, you just lay on the floor with you starting to doze off. And Jade and Floyd start to become content snuggling themselves next to your sides. What reason was there to bully you when you’ve already accepted the situation now, you were theirs, and they’ll make sure everyone knows that. Starting with you. 

Hehehehehe I love the tweels >:3 i wouldn’t mind if Floyds lipstick was smudged on my cheek hehehe ^w^ (Or sandwiched in between them) I mean why pick one when you can have both! Indulging in myself because I deserve it🤞🤞

[bb-eilish]

i was just on janitorai and I NEED TO WRITE THIS DOWN(not proofread so u know it’s good)

-fratboy!anakin inviting his gf to his frat’s anual halloween party

-goes as a sexy pirate, like tight leather pants, a little bandana, and a white flowy button down shirt, the only buttons that are buttoned are like two at the bottom so his boobs and abs are out

-you went as a sexy nun, short dress that has slits in the side, your cleavage is entirely out, cute high socks that have crosses on them, a cross necklace that sits perfectly in your cleavage, and a coif(headpiece) that sits on your hair, paired with some heavy eyeliner and black pumps

-anakin nearly blacks out when you open your door, you the same, he looks so hot with his chest out in that white shirt and the PANTS you can practically see the outline of his cock through them

-you both go to the party and totally dominate some beer pong before going to the kitchen

-you ask him what drinks he has “Beer, white claws, i can whip up a screwdriver for you, or if you’re feel in’ fancy a nice, refreshing screw-anakin”

-so after laughing ofc now you’re making out on his bed when he gets a good idea

-“what if we role-played a little? You could confess all your dirty sins to the priest?”

-now that intrigues you

-“Okay, father, i’ll confess my sins” you lean on your elbows looking up at him hovering over you

-“Father, i’m afraid i need to be forgiven, every night I think of you and- i know it’s a sin- but i touch myself thinking it’s you. Do you forgive me, ….father?” you say with big eyes

-he’s been hard but now he’s throbbing

“I see, sister, i think we must..understand the seriousness of this sin so i’m able to forgive you”

-then he finger fucks you until you’re whining and moaning out

-so you thank him by shoving his cock down your throat, you make it a little dirty too

-like you pull off of him to spit on his tip a mixture of his pre cum and your spit, then you spread it around it with your tongue and it’s all sticky and shit

-he’s about to cum after seeing that so you jerk him off until he’s painting your cheeks and tongue

-you climb up next to him “Father, i’m all messy” you say with black tears of eyeliner and mascara running down your cheeks, his cum on your cheeks, and the remnants of the concoction you made escaping the sides of your lips

-he takes his thumb and wipes off his cum, sucking it off before kissing you

-the kiss tastes like his cum and it’s unbelievably sloppy and wet which turns you both on even more

-as he teases your puffy and wet pussy with his cock you play into the part for him

-“You’re so big, Father, are you sure you’ll fit? I’m a virgin after all” DUDE EXPLODES

-“Sister I know you’ll take it so well for me”

-After coming inside of you, you still haven’t finished so you lean over and kiss up and down his sweaty neck and chest, nipping at ear

-“Father, i need you to eat my pussy, make me cum” omg omg

-goes absolutely crazy and you end up squirting a good amount, dude just swallow everything he possibly can

-he has a kink now and is ready to actually go to church if this is what the lord brings him

-“So, am I forgiven, Father?” you ask absolutely fucked out to all hell

-“For now”

-AHHHHHHHHHHH

[justamarvelnerd]

stuff i love (but mostly hate) about the IB:

Love:

- I’ve created a social identity with other IB students. (basically there’s a “we” in “we’re all suffering” as opposed to “i’m suffering”)

- the social identity is really honestly the greatest thing about the IB because I feel like we all think kind of the same, yk? we are all so stressed and scared but it’s kind of invigorating that we know we are all here together

- kind of related to that, I have some bragging rights about breaking through the IB fog after testing in May. I can say I did the hardest thing I’ve ever done, regardless of if I make good enough scores for sophomore status in college

- Colleges love IB students because hooray college prep give us all your money

- SMART CULTURE. I’m known as “that smart kid” in my family*

- conversations with IB students you can ONLY have with IB students. One time, my school put on a festival, and kids were running around playing, doing activities, having a good time yk. And within all this ruckus, a group of like ten students was standing out in the hallways laughing and arguing over what the correct chemical formula for cobaltic hydroxide was (COOH3 btw). that is a normal, everyday conversation at my school, and these people had to have been younger than me because i’m a senior and didn’t know them

- also, we’re all very tight knit. we kind of have to be. if you don’t leave before freshman year, or even up until junior year, you see so many of the kids around you dropping like flies to go to a normal comprehensive high school.** the size of my senior class as it stands right now is 72 people. i don’t know of anyone in my class that doesn’t know me by name.

- my teachers are WICKED smart.

- my handwriting has become phenomenal because all of our essays are handwritten.

Hate:

- even though it’s “we’re suffering”, it’s still yk. suffering. lmao it isn’t meant to be fun

- *being “that smart kid” means I feel like I’m being held to the standard that I’m meant to be smart and have all the answers all the time, and when I don’t, I feel like I’m failing at… my identity? if that makes sense? makes me feel really, really crappy

- when sleep schedule is screwed, it’s screwed BIG TIME. there’s no happy medium.

- forget to eat in favor of study/ procrastination

- pretty sure those fainting spells were because of forgetting to drink water. whoops

- **i am the only African-American person in my entire grade. the only other Black person in class of ‘23 is Nigerian, and she happens to be one of my closest friends.

- it gets really lonely.

- sometimes, my teachers are so smart that what are basic concepts for them are incredibly complicated concepts for me, and when they skim right past them i can’t get my bearings

- long nights spent watching youtube videos on biology concepts could all be retrieved if my biology teacher had explained them better for me.

- THE IB IS NOT ADHD OR AUTISM-FRIENDLY AHHHHHHHHHHH. THE 504 PLAN HAS RUINED MY PERCEPTIONS OF WHATEVER “ACCOMMODATION” IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN.

- i find that schools in general are not very neurodivergent-friendly. a solution to lack of focus becomes sit in a quiet room by yourself with a ticking clock in the corner that you just can’t block out because it’s just So LOUD and this room is too bright and someone’s watching me from the corner of the room for some reason why do i need supervision i don’t even know what this assignment is asking me to do and i can’t even ask that random staff member watching me because that’s not their job and they aren’t my teacher bc he’s busy teaching all the rest of the class that can keep up with him.

- just no.

but anyway. i don’t know that i’d trade the experience I’ve had with the IB. Character development, yk? and i’m aware it isn’t for everyone.

idk what kind of person i’d be if i hadn’t decided to go through with attempting to get a full IB diploma. i wonder whether i would be as thoughtful as i am now.

[sxnfullyswxetobsxssions]

Finn and Al are my OTP and I’m screaming at them finally kissing ahhhhhhhhhhh

I do wonder if Al had any former flames ? Like maybe he’s always been odd and eccentric but has anyone major showed interest in him ? He’s never been married so maybe not but I kind of wonder …….

Finn has had crushes and people he’s liked in the past too and yet I think his love for Al trumps all the formers by a lot and no one holds a candle to his affection for the magician

But the thought of Finn being heartbroken over Donna really makes my heart hurt….. I’m imagining cute little thirteen year old finn being heartbroken over his crush dating someone else and kissing Wendy to try and get over it but it probably didn’t work ahhhhhhh

Robin must’ve been there during this heartbreak and I’m glad Finn had Robin to lean on ❤️

I do wonder how Donna feels about Finn now ? Maybe she has a crush on him too but since neither acted on it, they both kind of moved along ? Maybe Donna does still like Finn ? Will we see more of her in the future ?

I also kinda wonder if we’ll see Al be jealous … we’ve seen jealous finn get upset over that waitress flirting with Al and that was fun to see

Al does seem like the possessive type so I wonder who he’ll be jealous of ? I don’t think he’d get upset over Robin or Gwen being close to finn, so maybe someone else ? Like maybe another older guy shows up at the grab n go or the baseball game and shows interest in Finn and Al goes like >:(

I’ll never stop loving you queen !!!!!

same here omg they are my otp!!! 😩🙏🏻♥︎ i really hope you enjoyed the kiss scene and that the buildup was worth it!! xx

ooh these are some really interesting questions, i love them! i’ll try my very best to answer them! ♥︎

in chapter 10, finney found a faded old postcard in al’s bedside drawer signed by someone nicknamed ‘ollie’. this alluded to the fact that al has indeed had former flames! this “ollie” guy being one of them. and i think on some level, finney knows this, too, and that’s why he slammed the drawer shut hahaha. you’re right, al has always been kind of odd and eccentric, but he can also be incredibly charming and charismatic. pair that with his good looks and you have quite the interesting man. people are attracted to him—men and women alike—but he’s feral over finney. sometimes disturbingly so. and we all know finney very much reciprocates his feelings. he has a hard time keeping his jealousy at bay and feels the need to compete with other “pretty” boys like vance who he believes have the power to shift al’s attention away.

we find out more about al’s past flames in future chapters.

finney’s love for him absolutely eclipses any crushes the boy might have had in the past, including donna. and donna had been a pretty big deal. 😳 you’re spot on, though, absolutely no one holds a candle to his love for his magician! it’s intense and all-encompassing in a way he’s never felt before. and we all love to see it. ♥︎

i knowww, my poor baby!! imagine the heartbreak on his little face when he saw donna dating someone else! 😩 but it’s okay. even though wendy bell had been a momentary distraction, in three or so years he’d stumble upon a mysterious magician who would make him forget donna clarke ever even existed hahaha.

of course robin was there to help his best bud through the heartbreak. and we all know he offered to beat the shit out of donna’s new boyfriend for finney. ❤️

yes, absolutely! donna will be making an appearance shortly, and you’re right! she does have a crush on finney—but neither of them have acted on it, so the feelings have just been sort of left untethered. she does become a more prominent character in future chapters, though.

we’ve seen finney get worked up with jealousy on a handful of occasions now, but we’ve never seen al enter that state. that’s why it’s gonna be so fun to write it when the moment arrives because he’s so much more intense about it lmao. and once again, you’re absolutely correct; he’s intense and possessive and can be quite frightening, so whoever does trigger this response in him, he’ll very much go >:(

ahhhhh thank you, love! it’s been a pleasure going through your comment/ask, i hope i answered all your questions to a satisfactory degree! if you ever have more or simply wanna drop by and chat or say hello, please don’t hesitate! thank you so much for reading the story and i hope you enjoy all the chapters to come! stay amazing! xx ♥︎♥︎♥︎

[mando-abs]

Alright after almost having an irrational breakdown over whether or not I’ll see Spiderverse spoilers, I went to go see it

And since @psychedelic-ink wants to talk about it with someone, here are my notes :)

Spoilers below the cut, proceed with caution

My sibling said they knew of a cameo and I thought it was gonna just be J.K. Simmons as J Jonah Jameson (in two universes)

I was surprised that Gwen took up the intro. But I’m not mad about it, just unexpected. Which is exactly what she said “let’s do this differently”

THE RENAISSANCE VULTURE AHHHH so cool. Loved how the style clashed with the rest of the universe

Miles’ mom’s Spanglish is no joke. She would change mid sentence (mid- word???) my (limited) Spanish class knowledge can’t keep up 😭😭😭😭New respect for the Spanglish kids having to decode their parents all the time

Also was Miles’ roommate playing the Spiderman PS2 game? Like the controller was new but I swear it looked like the PS2 game. I understand the new Spiderman PS4 and PA5 game is popular rn so I’d get if it was that instead. I’m just not as familiar with that

I thought from the trailer that the spot was going to be a minor villain and they weren’t gonna show the main villain. But I like how they made him a genuine threat. He’s still a nerd tho

WHEN GWEN’S FATHER TRIED TO ARREST HER OMG. A cop’s a cop

Pavitr is so 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 I love him

His hair is that luscious bc of shampoo and genetics lol. I get that a lot with my complexion. Never had any publicly visible acne, and yes I love flaunting that fact at least once a year so. This is the one

I thought “wouldn’t it be messed up if they reversed this a killed the captain anyways?” And I’m so glad they didn’t. Please let Pavitr continue to be the golden child. He deserves it

AND HOBIE!!!! He hates the AM and the PM (prime minister) lol. The comedic relief we didn’t know we needed. Also he is super hot. Is he a teenager tho? Hold on. Still don’t know. I’m not about to swoon over a teen but he looks over 18 and I have a soft spot for punk guys 😌😌😌😌

Hobie and Mayday is the best pair and they only had a few seconds together. Sad

ALSO, only critique, I was severely lacking in Mayday content. I would like to see the baby. Give me more Mayday

Does this make Miles Mayday’s godfather? Cause I hope so.

DONALD GLOVER AHHHHHHHHHHH

Donald as the big cameo was the best. I audibly gasped. Our hero. Thank you for sparking Miles Morales

Of course I loved the other Sony Peters.

Also I didn’t realize that was PS4 Peter saying “are you talking to me?” during the video game characters in prison. I thought it was Miles

ALSO WAS THE SPECTACULAR SPIDERMAN TALKING TO (I believe) MILES BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE IT

Oh! How could I forget the Lego Peter Parker ❤️❤️❤️ I cackled that Miguel said Lego Peter did some of the best work. Like hell yeah he did. Legos don’t mess around 😂

ALSO DID YOU KNOW THE LEGO SEQUENCES WERE ANIMATED BY A 14 YEAR OLD???? Crazy

Moose-teriyo

I know Miguel is trying to to save a whole universe and doing it for the greater good but holy cow man. He’s a child. It’s his dad you’re talking about. He’s not gonna be rational, and don’t ever expect him to. I wouldn’t. Like I don’t care, I just want my dad to be alright.

Also what is his beef with Peter B. Parker? I feel like there’s more there

Miguel’s backstory hurt tho. No wonder he’s traumatized. I’d become the antagonist too (not villain - just the person that gets in the way of the protagonist)

Also who’s the daddy of Jessica’s baby? We only got glimpses of her backstory. Like did she remove herself from the baby daddy? Did he die? Is Miguel the dad? I doubt it but I’m just nosey. I need her specific trauma gimmie gimmie. Jessica having a soft spot for Gwen. Women protecting women. Gotta love it

Is this the first movie to incorporate footnotes? I feel like it is. It’s certainly the first one I’ve seen. Also “I haven’t got a Scooby Doo” is a phenomenal phrase. And I’m so disappointed that the Brits use it and not us. Like, come on. We’re Scooby Doo capital of the world. Every American loves Scooby Doo.

Okay, Miles being an anomaly was a great twist. But wouldn’t his world collapse then? Wouldn’t Earth 42 collapse? Wouldn’t Miles glitch more? If Mike’s was never meant to be Spiderman than why is the multiverse not already erasing itself?

I think Miles and his universe is the key to restoring other universes, especially the ones where the holes were contained.

PROWLER MILES AHHHHHHH

I kinda knew he’d get stuck in a dimension tho with the “don’t get lost” line from mom. But I didn’t expect a world without Spiderman! So cool.

[animereviewsbykyranskye]

Reviews while I watch Buddy Daddies: Episode 10

I should not be trusted to keep up with these shows. 

I love that the teacher can’t sing. People shouldn’t be expected to sing even if they work in a school. 

Not the reference to the mother. Oh shit. It’s the mother. 

Good opening though.

This episode is going to be a painful one. We definitely have a trend. Although I doubt episode 11 will be a wholesome one. But who knows they might pull a Uramichi-Oniisan where the big stuff happens in Episode 11 and then Episode 12 was just a meme. Doubt it though. 

The concept of whether a mother can/should come back into the childs life is interesting. Although in this case the relationship was hella manipulative and abusive. She probably won’t stay long and will just want to abandon her again, which is just painful for Miri to experience. 

There are ways for the mother to come back into the childs life in a healthy way but I have a feeling that won’t happen with this relationship, not with how it’s been set up and played out. 

Katsuki being so protective. And Rei trying to reign him in. Shame. 

CONFLICT. I seriously wonder how this will all play out. I do love the fact that Miri immediately doesn’t turn either one of them down. Saying she loves both her mom and her dads. 

Rei does not trust this lady. 

OH FUCK. SHE HAD CANCER IN HER THROAT. HER WHOLE CAREER WAS OFF HER SINGING. FUCK.

So it might have some actual development. And you actually feel a bit sorry for her. 

Ooo. Pulling the assassination card on why she should have Miri. That’s harsh. 

Spit take. 

Ooooof. They’re in a lot of trouble. This is painful to watch. 

Poor Rei getting abused. 

They’ve accepted that they have to give her up. TT So they’re trying to give her the best time before then.  My man Rei is a speed climber. And Katsuki is shit scared. 

The three of them are so cute. 

Ahhh. No stop with the pain. Noooooo. 

I’m crying. Stapp. 

Being a pro at spending lots of money isn’t a thing to be proud of. XD

SToppppppppppp. Noooooooooooooooooooooo. I don’t want this episode. TT

Not her saying see them tomorrow. 

Nooooooooooo. THat can’t be the episode!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh

----after thoughts----

THAT WAS TOO PAINFUL. HOW IS THIS GOING TO TURN AROUND????

[antihoecial]

I am in my home alone for the first time in a really long time. It kinda feels perhaps a little lonely, but this loneliness… feels…. Really……… good. :,). I’m really proud of myself. Literally every single day that passes I look at myself and am in awe. I am making moves and decisions, I am speaking up, I’m deciding to take charge of things I want to do in MY life. I am a people pleaser in my personal life and I just feel a very comforting feeling in knowing I’m making the people I love- happy. But my god.. It’s really nice to sit alone and know how to make yourself happy. And not have to hear someone else. Or listen to anyone or even feeeeel their presence just your OWN. yesssss lmao. I love my own company so much it’s actually unreal. I know some days will be harder than others (duh) and I’m okay with that. Being uncomfortable sometimes is how we learn about ourselves and grow from situations the most so I’m excited to learn even more about me :)

Im just excited to cook for myself. To watch my own movies that iiiiiiii want to watch. To sit in silence alone thinking about my life and where I’m going and where I’ve been. To listen to my music on loud. turn all the lights on when I wake up without worry. To stay up till 2 am rearranging my furniture bc I got the itch to change things around. I like being self sufficient in my home. I love my space. I wanted to be that girl that does it on her own and I am….. :,) I’m just so happy :) to be here :) alone :) I can’t believe I did it and the days are coming and a day is already here. Go off me. It’s been a really long time coming. Theres been so many stalled actions, so many times I put myself second when I knew what I wanted. I made one really big step. And I put me first. And yea I’m really really proud of myself and I’m just grateful and thankful to God for letting me live to get to these new places, mentally, spiritually and physically :) I’m so so happy ahhhhhhhhhhh even when there is sadness I will be happy :,)))))) ahhhhhhhhhhhghggg

[dedmar]

OCPD diagnosis ramblings under the cut

Got dx’d with OCPD this week which is like, the way it was explained to me was like,

with OCD the people that have it KNOW they’re having intrusive thoughts that aren’t logical, but feel compelled to do them anyways. It’s ego-dystonic, meaning it goes against what you know to be ordered thinking.

I have OCPD which means I don’t know when the intrusive thoughts are happening because my brain accepts them as reality. It’s ego-syntonic , meaning these intrusive thoughts align with my belief system. Like, perfectionism is a good thing! Being detail oriented is a good thing! Being motivated and dedicated and a self starter is a good thing! Being an advocate for other people is a good thing! But now it’s going full tilt into “if everything isn’t perfect, if something goes AWOL I lose my SHIT”. It’s genetic and gets worse with age, which explains why I’ve gradually gotten more and more type A in the last 9 years. It centers around perfectionism and fairness and balance. like if I buy someone coffee, they have to buy me coffee next time or the balance isn’t right and I could be in danger. Or vice versa, if someone else was slighted in some way, I have to make it up to them to make everything fair or else I’m horrible and deserve to die. It’s even gotten to the point that I have a knee jerk reaction that if someone hurts me, I need to hurt them back to create *BALANCE*. I’m at least self aware enough that I can realize that’s dumb as hell and not something I would DO, but the thought has begun creeping in. If one of my clients doesn’t like their order, then I wasn’t perfect and I have a breakdown so hard I’m hospitalized. I have to get a 100% score on everything- conversations, being a good friend, art, chores, therapy, driving or I dissociate for DAYS. I graduated suma cum laude for fucks sake because I felt like I’d stupid if I didn’t. To be clear, no one else has to meet these standards because they have inherent worth as a human. Because I lack inherent worth, I have to play this game of perfection and balance in order to make sure I deserve to be alive.

like the whole thing feeds into itself because I AM good at things because I feel like I HAVE to be or I’ll DIE. I excel at almost everything I touch because I HAVE to. But when I don’t, when something isn’t in my control, I fall apart. I wasn’t INSTANTLY perfect at stained glass last week and I had to pointedly calm myself because it wasn’t PERFECT. I completed nanowrimo but because I have been bludgeoning myself over the head with my *first draft not being perfect* I can’t enjoy the fact I wrote 50k words in a month! At least I know *that’s* illogical but it doesn’t stop the berating.

for a really long time my doctors and therapists just thought it was PTSD and anxiety creating a monster but once this piece was brought up it finally clicked. The other side of it though is there’s not a TON of research on it and idk how much hope there is of getting better. The most positive I can find is the *progression* can be halted. so like, rn I’m dx’d with PTSD, CPTSD, anxiety, depression, and OCPD. I’m a fucking cocktail that cancels each other but on the outside look like a go getter, perky, friendly individual and then on the inside I’m just constantly screaming AHHHHHHHHHHH

being aware it’s happening is step one. Maybe it’s the perfectionism speaking, but I WILL get better. I have a lot of hope. For a really long time I’ve been working on myself, and I think it really slowed the progression of this disease. I felt like I was making big strides with myself, but there was something huge missing that we weren’t understanding and this is it.

knowledge is power etc etc I WILL gain control of my brain again, I WILL be better than I was yesterday. But hoo boy I got my work cut out for me

[jtl-fics]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!

I’m just imagining Andrew making just some thoughtless comment. Just Abram doing something a little silly maybe and Andrew can’t help the fondness that courses through him about it he offers his hand to help Abram up from where he fell.

“At least you’ll always have your pretty face if your feet continue to fail you.” He says and he feels how Abram’s hand twitches in his own. Abram’s face gives nothing away unless you’re looking.

Andrew is looking.

He’s even looking respectfully at this point.

I could see it being something Andrew is careful about since Abram has been so respectful of him. Then it is something he wants to ask about and there’s always the temptation of asking Kevin but he wants to hear it from Abram. Then its Abram in their big ol bed with Andrew tracing the scars as he lays on Abram’s chest as he talks about how he got them.

I’m so soft for this AU Emry (obviously since u have to endure all my endless messages i apologize again)

Dare I ask why Abram doesn’t like being called pretty??

I don’t know anon, do you dare?? 👀 jk here we go

I’ll preface with: this isn’t going to be as bad as the canon Nest, nor as bad as canon Andrew’s childhood but there’s a tw for assault/coercion

So like. Neil is just a good looking guy, right. We all know this, it’s canon, we love it for him (and Andrew).

I’m imagining in this au some of the major points of his upbringing are (obviously) not having his mother’s protection - at least not as much if any at all idk - and being a lower station than like half the people he’s around regularly. I think we figured Nathan is some noble that has his own land and place of operations, but I think it’s more a title the eldest Wesninskis have historically earned once they’ve proven themselves worthy and loyal. So yes Nathaniel is the son of a noble and expected to take his place as such but he’s not going to get there anytime soon until he grows strong/smart enough to take the title from Nathan. Which, clearly, he doesn’t stick around long enough to get to.

An introduction as a bit from this scene (which is part of the writing masterpost of this au that you can find here!)

So the Moriyamas still have a considerable leash on him. Acting against or refusing anyone higher in station is very much a punishable offense, and honestly? Nothing the various nobles, etc do is worth getting punished in Nathaniel’s mind.

From the time he’s like seven? Eight? Some of the court ladies likely start commenting on his appearance (because this is the Nest equivalent and because they’re above reproach and the Moriyamas definitely don’t care enough to stop it. Doubtful Nathaniel is the only one this happens to). Bit by bit they get more and more comfortable, usually the ladies, sometimes a man or two, and eventually it’s touching, holding, ‘asking’ for kisses, threatening him as a joke they put on for each other. And Nathaniel, of course, can’t even say anything without earning harm. He’s dealt with lots of unwanted touching, he’s used to having blades pointed at him or against his skin, and at least with the nobles it’s never more than a nick or scratch. They just like scaring him. They never undress him or even try more than to get under a sleeve, but still all roaming is fair game to them over the clothes. And the most common (though not only) comment from any of them is telling him how pretty he is. How lucky he is to have his father’s looks, and how could they possibly let that go to waste? (This is the main reason Abram still thinks he’s a carbon copy of Nathan, though he’s not - he leans more toward his mother’s features, and only his father’s hair, eye color, posture, etc)

As he gets older and grows more dangerous, this starts to slow down. Partly because then he’s a lot better about staying out of sight, he’s gotten used to getting himself out of those situations earlier. Not to say it never happens. Just a ‘his reputation precedes him’ - the smarter ones know that if they go too far, if Nathaniel decides he’s had enough, he could kill them as easily as he could anyone else, and most of them know he isn’t as well trained as the Moriyamas would have liked. He’s more of a risk now and there’s others they can subject to their whims instead.

I don’t think Abram would ever get used to being called pretty, even by Andrew. It’s not a full on trigger like some other things, it just makes him severely uncomfortable and maybe even a little scared. Like a kid again. Clueless and helpless. A jolt through his body when he hears it.

There’s plenty of other things Andrew can and does call him instead, anyway.

[hyenahunt]

Obbligato: The Devotion to Tatsumi Kazehaya - 2

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring, three years ago

Characters: Jun, Tatsumi, Kaname

Proofreading: 310mc + Remi (JP) & honeyspades (ENG)

Translation: hyenahunt & Peace

Kaname: AHHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Time: Lunch break, that same day.

Jun: Yaaawn... ♪

(Ah... No matter how much I sleep, I seriously can’t shake off this exhaustion. I didn't even do anything to cause it... Wonder if it really is depression.)

(I'm gonna fall apart at some point if I don't manage to pick myself back up.)

( —- But in any case, it's time for the only daily moment of peace throughout this living hell: lunch break~ ♪)

(The Special Students are an eyesore in the main school building, and they boss me around with all their errands so I can't catch a break there.)

(But they think the Labour Camp is too gross to get anywhere near it, so I can kick back and have a lil' nap here... ♪)

Jun: (And I dunno why, but on top of that, Kazehaya-senpai's been making good food and desserts and treating everyone to 'em lately.)

(It's seriously the highlight of every single day...)

(We're all super grateful for the free food considering how we're broke from stuff like our tuition fees, and we can all sit around a table and have a lil' chat as we enjoy ourselves...)

(Lunch break's straight-up our one and only respite! It actually feels like I can catch a break~♪)

Jun: (...The thing is, what I actually wanna do in my free time is get some practicing done, but I don't even have the luxury of that anymore. It's just as they say, huh? There's no leisure for the poor.)

Tatsumi: .....

Jun: Mm? Huh, Kazehaya-senpai...?

What're you doin'? You're gonna block people if you stand in the doorway like that.

Tatsumi: Ah, Jun-san. Good afternoon.

Jun: Yeah, good afternoon to ya.

Tatsumi: My, your greeting was wonderfully done. You're a good child, Jun-san.

Jun: ...It's not like that was really something to praise, though.

Tatsumi: It was. All of you do things worthy of praise, you see. How you walk on your own two feet, how you speak, even the fact you can breathe... It's all worthy of praise. ♪

Returning to your earlier question, do you know anything about this? I'm not entirely sure of the situation, so I'm rather hesitant to enter the room.

Jun: Huh? Whaddya mean by "this".... Err, woah!?

Kaname: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Jun: What the hell is going on!?

Tatsumi: Well... That's what I'd like to know. No one knows what's going on, so they're simply standing aside and watching in horror.

Not a single person knows what is going on, either. It's rather troubling.

Jun: U-Usually you'd call over a teacher or something... but we can't do that here, huh? They wouldn't even lift a finger if it was for a Non-Special, after all.

Tatsumi: Not all of the teachers are like that, but... Still, it is difficult to judge if this is something worth making a big fuss about.

We must consider our options carefully to determine what would result in the best outcome for HiMERU-san.

Jun: Himeru...? [1]

Tatsumi: Oh, don't you know? This is HiMERU-san; he’s a Special Student who managed to claim the top spot among his fellow newcomers.

Jun: Huh? Was that really his name...?

(Wait, he introduced himself at the entrance ceremony as Kaname Tojo, didn't he? Is this a different guy? Nah, no way — he's the same guy no matter how you look at him, right...?)

(...Unrelatedly, that guy who looks a lot like Kaname Tojo.... Tojo-senpai. I wonder how he's doing? I haven't seen him since the entrance ceremony...)

(Since I've never seen him around the Labour Camp, maybe he's a Special Student?)

Tatsumi: Haha. HiMERU is only a stage name, apparently. Whereas Yumenosaki idols seem to have a custom of using their real names, we have quite a lot of idols who go under aliases.

At Reimei Academy, students are viewed only by their status as an idol, and so in respect to that they have a policy that those with stage names should be called only by them.

Jun: Oh, I see... Ah-ha, so that's what it is. His stage name, huh?

Tatsumi: On the other hand, Jun-san, you normally give out your real name yourself, don't you?

Jun: Yep. Since I didn't think twice about it and enrolled with my real name, I get laughed at for being the "son of a loser". Damn 'em all.

Dunno who started it, but that awful rumour spread right away.

Tatsumi: I see. At Reimei Academy, with its strict hierarchy system, using such "facts" that would humiliate someone counts undoubtedly as a worthwhile weapon in their climb to the top.

It's the only weapon they can use in order to change their position.

That's why it's so popular. However, it isn't good. It truly isn't.

As I thought, such a thing needs to be changed. We shouldn't live in a world where one must hurt another to uplift themselves.

Jun: ...?

Tatsumi: Nonetheless, I've decided I'm going to try to talk to HiMERU-san a little, since no one including myself knows what else to do.

If there's something wrong, then I'd like to help him out.

Jun: Er, I feel like it's better not to get involved, y'know? I dunno what happened, but he's been absolutely losing it while making weird noises this whole time...

Tatsumi: Whyever would that be a fault, when newborns do the same when they need someone the most? If we were before such a young one, and they were crying, then it is only natural that we would bring them into our arms, isn't it?

And so I too shall do what comes naturally to humanity.

HiMERU-san. Tell me what you wish for, and I will do everything possible to grant it.

✦✦✦✦✦

Jun says his name in hiragana instead of the English characters to indicate his unfamiliarity with it.

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[2-lines-and-a-circle]

A Sleepy Diasomnia

Sebek’s route: 

Link to prologue: 2 Lines & A Circle : A Sleepy Diasomnia (tumblr.com)

???: ______! There you are! You: Sebek? What are you doing lifting me up!

Yes, your lover had just slung you over his shoulder. You were at a loss as to what was going on, but he was in a hurry as he started running.

You: Wait, stop running… I think I’m going to throw up! Also why are we heading towards the forest? Sebek: I’m trying to save you, so keep quiet!

Your inner thoughts: From what? Is someone hunting for me?

Finally, Sebek stopped at a big tree. Before you had the chance to say something he quickly covered your mouth and pushed you against the tree. His other hand was covering the back of your head to prevent your head from feeling the roughness of the tree bark.

???: Oh, where could those two have gone? I was hoping to give _______ some of this soup I made to help them sleep better. Your inner thoughts: Lilia! Now you understood why Sebek was in such a rush to run away. He was trying to save you from having to eat Lilia’s special sleeping soup.

After you two were sure Lilia left, Sebek explained everything to you.

Sebek: Do you understand now? If you were to eat that soup then I’m sure you would really go to sleep for longer than you wanted. You: I see… is that why you couldn’t explain it either? Because Lilia was already catching up to us? Sebek: Yes, I needed to get somewhere far enough before saying anything. Who would have thought he would go this far.

*hugging you*

Sebek: But why are you having trouble sleeping? You: Uh, well… You see… I was… Sebek: Spit it out! You: I was busy reading! Sebek: Reading? What was the book that was so interesting that even a hater of books read it?

Curious Sebek leaned in closer to your face, since you weren’t making eye contact. Your face started to heat up from embarrassment and the close contact. Even so, there was no way you could tell him you were reading some very deep fanfiction of your favorite characters. Trying your best, you tried to change the topic.

You: You know what, I’m feeling really sleepy right now. I think I’m going to head back to the dorms now…

Like Sebek would let you go. Before moving an inch, he held you tighter, suspicious as to what you were hiding. Now his face had only been centimeters away from yours. Looking at you seriously he asked you one last time to tell the truth. Knowing there was no way to escape you decided to tell him the truth.

You: Fine, to be honest I was actually reading some fa- AHHHHHHHHHHH! Lilia: Fufufufu~ Sebek, how bold of you to rendezvous with your lover right before dinner. Ah youth~ Malleus: I didn’t know you had that kind of side Sebek. Silver: I should take notes… would she like this too? You: How long have you guys been here?! Lilia: Just now. We wanted to let you two know dinner was ready, but maybe we should go away. Sebek: *drowning in embarrassment*

After that everyone headed back to enjoy a dinner full of teasing. Of course, there was also the soup Lilia had made earlier, but no one ate it. Following dinner, you made a vow to stop reading so late at night. Especially if it meant you could have eaten Lilia’s special sleeping soup.

Before going to bed you were shocked to find Sebek asleep on the chair in your room. Cute. That was your last thought before you placed a gentle kiss on his ear. You always liked the shape of them, so you couldn’t resist giving them a little kiss.

You: Thank you for today Sebek~ Sebek: Mn. Not bad, but I want one more good night kiss.

Although he was still a little sleepy Sebek leaned in close for one last kiss before dreamland. Holding your breath, you too leaned in. Hence the 90 10 rule from Hitch.

*bump*

It looked like Sebek was too tired for even a little kiss as his head fell on top of your shoulder instead. Looking at the sleepy boy you questioned whether to let him sleep in your bed or ask for help. After giving some thought you decided to let him sleep in your bed while you sleep in his.

[kukuandkookie]

I’m just going to copy and paste this from my Twitter but OOOOOOH MY GOD—

GUYS I HAVE BIG NEWS!!!!

THIS WAS JUST UPLOADED MINUTES AGO BUT…BERYL AND SAPPHIRE IS GETTING A NEW SEASON!!!!

THE NEW ART STYLE IS SO DYNAMIC AND CUTE GKBSKFSHSB 🥺

(Edit: The uploader unfortunately had to take it down, which I am a bit sad about because they upload a lot of donghua/Chinese audio drama stuff and are clearly a fan of Beryl and Sapphire… But the trailer is now up on Bilibili’s official donghua channel!!)

I like just woke up after passing out coming home from the amusement park and it was like 5:55 am when I saw this so I still feel like I’m hallucinating!?!?!

It’s been so long!!! I’ve missed these two so much (I was literally rewatching a bunch of clips just yesterday)!

And they’ve seriously improved! The new art style and animation is so fluid and dynamic… I feel like I’ll miss the old one, but I love the new one too. But mostly I’m just so excited and happy and pleasantly surprised we get to see more animated Beryl and Sapphire!!!

I seriously thought the donghua could be considered 100% over ahhhhhhhhhhh 😭♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Also it looks like the new season focuses entirely on the Demon King Beryl and knight Sapphire arc, which is so cool! That arc was one of my favourites and it’s uber cute. 🥺

It does make me wonder…is it possible to see more new seasons…after this… 👀

Idk but a girl can hope (and I’m already so happy just having this—did I mention I’m happy!? I’m sorry I know I’m rambling a lot of the same nonsense over and over)!

LISTEN THOUGH I’M GOING TO PASS OUT THEY LOOK SO CUTE I’M FGMSNFKSBFKSNFJSBDBSHFJSH 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

BUT SERIOUSLY I’M SO EXCITED

IDK IF YOU GUYS KNOW THIS BUT BERYL AND SAPPHIRE WAS ONE OF THE CORNERSTONES OF EARLY GOOD DONGHUA AND IT HAS SUPER CUTE BL BUT ALSO REALLY FUNNY AND SO SO HEART-WRENCHING STORIES…

I’m sorry for yelling but I’m super hype!! I was already planning to finally start updating my Chinese media blog again, but I really have to now, just for Beryl and Sapphire. 🥹💖

Bonus: you can tell I’m excited because I actually bothered typing out a long comment in both English and Chinese on YouTube… 😂🙈

I also acted fast because the trailer was uploaded so soon and I’m scared it’ll disappear when I wake up later because this is all a dream HNGKSH

I’ve copied and pasted the comment below under the cut ahaha.

I’m so surprised!!! I absolutely love love love Beryl and Sapphire but I genuinely thought we could count the show as over! We’re…actually getting a second season??

I’m so surprised!!! I absolutely love love love Beryl and Sapphire but I genuinely thought we could count the show as over! We’re…actually getting a second season??

Omg I’m so excited—I’ve missed them so much!! 😭💕💕💕💕

So it looks like it’ll be just the Demon King arc this season, which is super cool! The art style and animation all seem to have improved so much too omg… I like how dynamic the art style is, although I do kind of miss the old one a little—maybe it’s just nostalgia speaking. 🥺

I wonder if we’ll get more seasons and more storylines/arcs after this!?

But God I really am so happy!! This feels like such wild news, seriously!!

好了我英语说了那么多，但我中文比较差…… 可是我就想说我好期待啊！

我好喜欢小绿和小蓝，但我都以为这个动画可以算已经结束了，真没想到还可以再看到更新的！

我有一点怀念本来的画风但我也觉得这新的画风真的进步了—又可爱，又很有活泼的感觉。

第二季是魔王的故事也让我好激动；魔王小绿太可爱了。我现在有事想未来还能不能再看到更多的小绿和小蓝动画 （还会不会有新季），但就有这个已经让我好开心。♥️♥️♥️♥️