#agent night | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lady-of-tearshed · 7 months ago

Text

Impactful words

@ruhnweek @cadiawrites

Day four: Free Day

Ruhn Danaan x Lidia Cervos

A/N: *Gasp* That gif is so Ruhn and Lidia. Anyways. I love them. Also, first quote is from the movie Pride and Prejudice. If you do not know that series, respectfully, go watch it right this instant. It's sappy. 💕

A HUGE thanks to @sarawritestories for helping me out with that Pollux part. Ily sweets you're the best. 💕

Summary: Idk. Period comfort.

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Period, abusive Pollux, angst, panic, anxiety, self-loathing, vomiting, blood

“You have bewitched me, body and soul. And I love… I love… I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”

Gods, that was sappy. Lidia’s cheeks turn into a bright red at the sight of the handsome actor on the screen, and she cuddles closer to Ruhn. Ruhn isn’t fond of this kind of romantic lovey-dovey movie, but he always caves in to watch it with his mate. Only to see her eyes glimmer as she swore she wasn’t crying, or see her squirm on the seat beside him when a heated scene came up. It was some kind of unspoken rule in their relationship. She watches sunball with him, and he watches her romantic movies. That’s how it works between them.

Well, watch.

He is supposed to be watching the movie right now. But sleep had rushed through him mere minutes after his long fingers had started to thread through Lidia’s silky golden hair. He had traced the length of her blond curls and his eyelids instantly grew heavy. He can’t help it. Lidia’s locks are just so soft. It is nearly impossible for him, or anyone else, to not feel relaxed and sleepy while combing her hair.

Lidia’s peers up at Ruhn in hope to get his insight on her favorite movie scene, her golden eyes still wet from how emotional this scene makes her every damn time. She pouts, a bit disappointed to find Ruhn’s eyes closed and his chest rising and falling slowly, steadily. How can someone fall asleep so quickly? She clicks her tongue, her eyes rolling and she lifts her hand to Ruhn’s face to flick his nose, in hope to wake him up. Her hand freezes, and she feels like she has just been struck by lightning. She grunts, and clutches her stomach tightly, curling into a ball between Ruhn’s legs.

Lidia mentally curses, blaming Cthona for the pulsing pain in her womb. Tears were burning her eyes. The blond-haired Fea female sinks her teeths in her lower lip to choke back her whimpers. She bites it so hard that it pierces open, and she can taste the saltiness of her own blood on her tongue. Silent as a mouse, Lidia unfolds her legs from her fetal position. She can't wake Ruhn up. Then she feels it. What she dreaded the most. That familiar stickiness pooling between her thighs. She needs to get up, to push through the pain, and hurry to the bathroom. Now.

What if… What if... What if…

Unfounded fear settles in her gut as she starts to make up the worst scenarios of Ruhn’s reaction when he would learn that she dirtied his expensive-looking couch. Her legs shake weakly as she rolls to her side, contracting her muscles to stand up. She scolds herself. She should’ve kept track of her menstrual cycle. She should’ve known it was coming. If only she hadn’t been too lost in the frenzy of hers and Ruhn’s love affair… Her stomach churns, it’s her fault, all of it. She feels gross.

You stupid bitch…

"Look at what you did," Pollux gripped Lidia's gold locks and forced her face on the couch. The little breath she was able to get was invaded by the metallic stench of blood that was stained on the couch. It was an accident. Her punishment? Being suffocated into the cushion as if she was a pup having her nose rubbed in for urinating on the furniture. Lidia's oxygen was limited, and spots appeared in her vision. This was how she would die. Before her lungs gave out, Pollux yanked her head back as she gasped for air. "You stupid bitch."

She forces air through her lungs as she tries to stand on her wobbly legs. Sweat is coating her forehead, and her gaze lands on the bathroom door. Five more steps. She can do this. She’s been through worse. Lidia doesn’t dare look behind her, too afraid to see the copper stain she might’ve left there.

You stupid bitch…

Tears blurries her vision, and she can feel them tracing patterns as they slide down her cheeks. She takes a first step, then attempts a second one. Her stomach churns from the overwhelming distress and pain in her body. She sobs, heaves, and with the remaining strength she has left, she collapses on her knees, in the bathroom doorway. She wastes no time, ang crawls to the toilet. Her peripheral vision narrows as bile falls out of her mouth. She had managed to reach for the toilet bowl, at least she didn’t make another mess. Her fingers painfully grips onto the toilet seat, her knuckles turning white. She tries to ground herself, to breathe, to calm down.

“Lidia..?”

Ruhn. Her stomach flips, and she tries to keep her nausea at bay. Her breathing is getting shallow and her heart is beating so fast, so loud, that she can herself hear it. Ruhn wastes no time, and tug on his hair tie in one swift movement, using it to tie Lidia's hair in a ponytail as fast as he can, before they fall into the toilet. He kneels right behind her, caging her between his knees, his left hand rubbing circles on her lower back in an attempt to sooth her tense muscles. His other hand strokes her white knuckles as she holds on for dear life onto the freezing toilet seat.

Oh, Ruhn.

“Look at you,” Pollux growled behind her, and she tried her best not to flinch. She closed her eyes, waiting for her lover's rage to fall onto her. Like the rock that the waves keep crashing over. “On your knees like a good little bitch, cleaning up your,” He paused, and Lidia could imagine him clearly, scrunching his nose in disgust and clenching his fists. “Mess.”

She wanted to apologize, she should've. But the words stayed tucked deep down in her throat. The smell of bleach burnt her nostrils before she could feel it scorch the soft skin of her hands. She jumped back, the towel she was holding fell from her aching hands. She stumbled back against Pollux's chest, and was quickly slammed back down on her knees. She felt her knee pads wobble from the harsh impact. The Hammer held her hair tightly, so tight that she could feel some hair detaching from her burning scalp as he pushed her back down on her aching knees. “Stop whining,” Pollux snarled, shaking the remnants of the chemical onto the couch. Everything burned, her eyes, her nostrils, her hands, her lungs… “Clean,” He spat, his voice held no mercy. And he walked out of the room before she could apologize for something she had no control over.

She should've been more careful. She would be next time. She would track her cycle properly.

What a stupid bitch…

“Fuck, why are your… feminine products so far away,” Ruhn’s hand stays still on her back, as he stretches his arm towards the sink cabinet. His rummaging makes the bottles, and different products bump against one another, some of them landing on the floor. Lidia groans, wiping her mouth as she tries, but fails to move from in front of the toilet to help Ruhn. “Ah, got em’.” Ruhn states, holding the pink envelope of a pad in his hand, smiling proudly.

“Ruhn, it's…” She tears up, and shakes her head. The hormones, she tries to convince herself that it’s the only reason for her emotional turmoil. She swallows, and stands up, wincing. She needs to clean up the couch. To get into clean clothes, and put this pad on. Ruhn stands close to her, his hands on her hips, steading her, the menstrual pad still in hand. “Don’t touch me, I'm gross,” She chokes out, tears clouding her vision. Pathetic. She was acting pathetic. Her cycle, and suffering wasn't Ruhn's problem.

And yet he still cares…

He shouldn't. She doesn't deserve that.

What a stupid bitch…

“Hey…” Ruhn’s frown deepens, and he holds her closer to him, rocking her from side to side as she sobs. Her breathing is incredibly fast. And her eyes… Her beautiful gold eyes look dark, so dark, she seems to be stuck in a bad memory, somewhere so far away… He sways her slowly from side to side, placing soft kisses on the top of her head. “Would a bath sound nice, maybe?” He murmurs against her hairline, his nose humming the delicious scent of her shampoo. She feels gross, so maybe a bath would help her to feel better in her skin, he guesses.

A bath… A bath… No, the couch. She needs to clean her mess first. Gross, she feels so grossed out of herself.

Lidia’s thoughts are reeling, her body so stiff, frozen in shock. She is still unused to such kindness in that type of situation. She snaps back into reality when she hears the water run from the faucet. Ruhn keeps his arms protectively draped around her, his concerned glance fixed on her face. Her rapidly moving chest meets his steady one with every breath she tries to take. She finally manages to copy Ruhn’s breathing, and she can now hear better, see better, and the pain was a bit more bearable too. “Bath?” Ruhn asks again, staring into the honey depths of Lidia’s eyes. She was here, safe, with him, out of these horrific thoughts.

“The couch,” She swallows down, trying to lube her dry and sore throat. She tries to slip away from Run's comforting, and oh so warm arms. “You’d prefer to rest on the couch?” Ruhn asks, trying to figure out what his girlfriend needs from the little glimpse of information she mumbles to him. She bites her cheek at the thought of Ruhn’s couch, her eyes filling with tears again. Ruhn rubs his thumbs on her arms slowly, the worry for his mate is written all over his face. “No, I need to clean the couch.” She blurts out.

The couch. The couch. She made a mess. What a stupid bitch. The couch…

Ruhn stills, and his eyes narrow as he tries to figure out where all this nonsense and panic comes from. He wonders how he could have ever made her believe that he cared more for such material things than her well-being and comfort. “No, I'll just buy a cleaning spell later,” He murmurs, confused at Lidia’s panicked state. Has he done something wrong? He doesn't like it for one bit that his mate looks so terrified around him. He sighs and presses a kiss on the top of her head. “Bathe, Lidia. Or rest. Is it because you'd prefer to just change and rest? I didn't mean to force you into doing anything.”

Lidia sobs, covering her mouth with her hand. Ruhn moves one of his hands to cradle her face against his chest. Lidia feels like if it wasn't from Ruhns's love and tender hold, her heart would have shattered completely from the weight of her guilt and self-disgust.

“Please,” Ruhn pleads, his fingers brushing away her tears. “Tell me what's wrong.”

“I just… I dirtied your couch. I should've kept track of my cycle. I'm such a,” She hiccups, her throat feeling so tight, “Such a,” Such a stupid bitch, she wants to say, but the words refuse to come out. Only sobs and incoherent babbling fall from her lips.

Everything makes sense for Ruhn, then.

Fucking Pollux.

Ruhn cuts her off with a soft caress of his lips against hers. Now is not the time for him to be angry at Pollux. He needs to be calm, and reassuring, for his Lidia. He takes a deep breath. “Hey, no. Gods, Lidia no…” Ruhn holds up her chin so his eyes can dive deep in hers. He doesn't want her to feel bad around him. Especially not over something she has absolutely no control of. He hates it. Hates the one that has carved nonsense into her brain even more. Only time would undo the mental and emotional damage Pollux had caused.

“You are such a strong and beautiful female,” He smiles softly down at her, turning off the faucet, his eyes not leaving her puffy and red ones even for one second. His hands slide under her shirt, tracing her ribs slowly. He looks into her eyes, silently asking for her permission. Lidia nods, her blond curls bouncing on her shoulders as she does, and he lifts her shirt off. “My strong and beautiful mate…” He whispers, kissing away her tears as he helps her out of the rest of her clothes.

Lidia absent-mindedly watches Ruhn as he gently picks her up, and settles her nude body in the tub. Her muscles relax with the heat of the water. Her whole skin welcomed the warmth, too, making it feel like she was receiving a peaceful hug. She closes her eyes and leans back her hand in Ruhn's palms as he starts to rub shampoo through her sweat coated hair. She rubs her stomach, trying to ease the pain of her cramps and the guilt lingering there.

“You've done nothing wrong,” Ruhn's voice breaks through the silence. “It was an accident. I love you. It's not your fault," He adds.

“I'm so–” “Don't.” He says, his tone slightly harsh, and he hated himself for how Lidia flinches. He shakes his head, his fingers still massaging the shampoo on her scalp. He sighs, “Don't be sorry. Please. You have nothing to be sorry about. Not with me.” She nods, tilting her head back a little bit more so Ruhn could rinse her hair. The shampoo tickles her ears as the water falls on her head, and she sinks in the comfort and reassuring presence of her mate.

Ruhn rubs every surface of her fair skin with a cleaning glove. Lidia almost starts crying again at the look of pure love and adoration shining in the blue eyes she loved so much. He wasn't disgusted, of her, or her femininity. He loves her, and admires her as a person. The deer shifter's heart flutters at this sight.

“I love you, Lidia. Like, a lot,” Ruhn chuckles slightly to ease the atmosphere, lightening Lidia’s heavy heart. “And I want you to be comfortable with me. I know it'll take time. But let's just start with like,” He halts, his eyebrows frowning as he tries to figure out where they could start. He grins when suddenly, an idea pops up in his head. “Keeping your feminine products at easy reach in the cabinet? It would be a good start. Okay?” He winks at her, replacing the things in the cabinet, putting the box of pads and tampons in front of everything, so it’s easy for her, or him, to reach when needed.

The realization feels like a kick in Lidia’s guts. She doesn't have to hide them anymore.

Not with Ruhn.

My strong and beautiful mate.

Ruhn's words thrums in her ears, and the sight of his eyes filled with all the beautiful emotions he feels towards her dances in her mind, replacing all negative thoughts and fear that Pollux had once pushed there.

She smiles, truly smiles, and nods, the water sloshing around her as she brings her knees to her chest. “Okay.”

My strong and beautiful mate...

Taglist: @mybestfriendmademe

55 notes · View notes