#agent 3 (kraken)

[opal-owl-flight]

"Ill help you conquer all!"

Agent 6...or Mags. Doesnt interfere much with whatever events happen in the universe hes staying at, these days. But where he can prod, he will poke. And in the case of sploonworld, its providing the NSS with items that can save their lives in a pinch.

3 has known 6 awhile, during their time in the illegal turf scene/trench turf. Instead of Sheldon, 6 was their (and many others) main supplier of specials and weapons. He really did try to avoid them, knowing who they were and how much they influenced the world around them...but he found himself caring too much for the welfare of the scarred squid. Reminds him of someone else he knew.

He ended up volunteering himself when 3 told him that they were going to investigate a remote, mysterious labyrinth that rose and sunk with the tides...

[blueberry-blast]

the most popular guy in my lair + the weird old fae who follows him around

and their army of child soldier grandchildren.

[danndeemo]

agent 4: *chewing loudly*

agent 8: stop chewing so fucking loudly

agent 3: LEAVE THAT LITTLE GUY ALONE!

agent 8: what are you gonna do about it

agent 3*enacts violence*

(based off of this meme Stop chewing so loud (original video) - YouTube)

ok but can you imagine inner 3 with splatoon 1 specials

[kjpurplepineapple]

When your partner with chronic pain and no sense of self preservation tries to use a weapon they know will hurt them and now you're fighting the urge to tell them "I told you so"

Context: Callie persuades Runo to try out rollers, thinking they'll pick something light like the Big Swig. Runo, who never settles for anything less than badass, chose the Krak-On.

Turns out the physical backlash of force-charging Kraken Royale is worse than anticipated.

[elshells]

The change wouldn't be immediate; Harmont is a city much like one of ours, aside from subtle differences in the technological advancements. But soon, Guardians would arrive, dressed in anything from vibrant superhero garb to dark vigilante clothing, to assess this new dimension—to find out what happened, why, and whether or not their city was now in danger. Watch agents would likely follow to investigate, and they'd be especially taken aback (and probably disgusted) by the law enforcement of this universe.

You guys seemed to like the last time I did this, so let's try another!

Say a portal from the world of your WIP just opened up on Earth; what is coming out of there? An eldritch horror? A spaceship? That pesky familiar, who you know, has no business being outside? Maybe a friendly woodland creature or a cute little robot? Or something more dangerous, like a giant or an enraged orc! Share in the reblogs or comments! I'll start 💙

The first thing coming through from Oepus is a TON of seawater. Despite being an Earth-like planet, it is more water than anything else. Now, seawater sounds benign enough, except Oepus' waters are known as the domain of Satoyev, Lord of Krakens. Perhaps he himself would come through with his loyal subjects, sirens, medusas, and sea witches in tow. 🐙

[seattlekrakenyaoi]

ok . well . not to get emotional or anything but i am going to cry a little ….

i made this blog in october of this year . i was coming off of a terrible mental health episode. i started therapy again just around a week before i started this blog. i was intimidated- i had only watched the playoffs that year . i had never watched hockey before that. i knew no one. fast forward a few months, i learned i had bpd, and it shook me so hard . this community has been so kind to me. so willing to support me when i feel down and invited me with open arms when i desperately needed friends and a hobby . i have loved every second of every game . both winning and losing . krakenblr has quickly become my favorite place on the internet. kraken lb has made me so so happy. i got back into writing because of all the encouragement that was offered to me here. thank you all for everything :,) i am so looking forward to firebird playoffs and nhl playoff bracket stuff with you all. and weathering the storm of trades and free agents and the off season . thanks everyone so much <3

p.s. i will be in the lb tag all the time . live-blogging whatever . anything . i am too intimidated to liveblog the playoffs in the correct tags so i’ll be lurking … drop in and see me :-)

[bucketsquid]

Characters, Palettes & What Those Palettes Say About Them

Ever since Side Order dropped, I had a thought in my head, and it mostly came from Callie's palette.

That thought was "huh, this palette is really, really Callie, actually. what about the other characters' palettes? What do these try to describe about the people who use them?".

And it's lingered in my head for almost a year now, because I think that's really interesting. We know that these specific characters use these certain weapon classes-- but we learned about other characters, too. And we learned what sub weapons and specials and qualities in a weapon, or in a fighting style, seem to matter to those characters.

I've wanted to do a deep-dive on all of Side Order's palettes, and what all the fine details about each palette say about their associated character. I think that there's some really interesting stuff in there that hasn't been explored too deeply, and I wanted to make analyses of everything palettes and characters as a result.

This is all just character analysis, of course. I wouldn't say any of these are explicitly canon in the sense that "this character has x special which means y thing about them". It's my interpretation of what we know about that character, how their palette reflects their qualities and values, and what it says about them!

This will be in 2 parts, the second one a reblog of the first. There's 12 people to cover here, and I have a lot of thoughts on them and their palettes!

Callie

Callie's a roller main, we've known that since the start! She's headstrong and expressive, a little bit wacky, and loves to drive the action. She's the one who went off on her own in Splatoon 2, and in Splatoon 3, she actively wanders out with Neo Agent 3 to each site. Makes sense! She's pretty independent when she can handle it.

Her palette favors Power and Luck, starting with Burst Bombs and Kraken Royale. These chip give you the ability to more effectively mow down what's in your way, while shifting the odds in your favor so you can more easily prosper and keep forward momentum. Burst Bombs open up your reach and compliment a roller's flick damage, while Kraken Royale lets you go completely nuts once in awhile, with the drawback of being vulnerable for a bit at the end.

And I think that really captures Callie. Everything about this palette is perfectly her. She's pushy and bold, wants to attack challenges and succeed, and the Kraken Royale is the cherry of irony on the top, providing invincibility and power that Callie would love... but having the vulnerability window at the end. She might not see that window in advance, and it might sink her! It's sure gotten me a few times.

Marie

Marie's weapon fits her to a T: tactical, grounding, and often the voice of reason that binds a group together. She has just as much room for weird as her cousin, but it expresses differently, and often she's the one who thinks realistically between the two. Just like, realistically, if you mess around on the turfing field, that charger's going to give you a dose of reality! She's more reserved and wary, like that laser pointer's always pointed at any strangers around her. She's not unbreakable, of course, but she'll sure pretend to try like she isn't.

Marie's palette favors Support and Range, with Ink Mines and Triple Inkstrikes giving you options. Support chips patch up your weak points (mostly ink use) while giving you options against your enemies, and Range chips do what they say on the tin, increasing your safety zone against foes. Ink Mines play into tactical tricks, and Triple Inkstrike... well, it isn't quite Marie, with all the explosions, but I'd argue that it is.

Support and Range so beautifully compliment the charger, and Marie as a whole. She wants to patch up her weaknesses while cutting tactical holes in her foes and challenges... from a safe distance. It's easier to handle problems if you're physically or hypothetically afar from them! And Marie's full of interesting ideas and surprises, like the Ink Mines underfoot. And, of course, when push comes to shove, sometimes you just gotta fuck it and get a little bit crazy with it, and that's where the Triple Inkstrike comes in. It feels like it captures her impatience and willingness to do crazy things to get results. Maybe I'm looking too deeply at this?

Pearl

Tenacious, in-your-face, dictating their time, and always the life of the battlefiend: that's the standard Dualies, and it's also Pearl. There's a sort of indomitable spirit about them, making them hard to keep down, always lively in some way or other. Pearl's bold and doesn't care what other people think, believing in her own understandings, but also has the depth to listen to others and judge the situation carefully. Now if only more Dualies players could be like that!

Pearl's palette fosters Luck and Support, expanding its reach quite a bit with both the Curling Bomb and Reefslider. Luck lets you really sway the odds if you plan and work for those results, and Support makes you more reliable when the odds won't catch you. The Curling Bomb gives you a headstart ink trail while being a very funny way to freak out the thinking enemy, and Reefsliders crash into the action if a bit recklessly.

I think the sub and special on Pearl's kit are perfect for her. They maintain swift, forward momentum, and let you act in ways that can seriously matter... even if it paints a target on your back. Luck and Support are fascinating as well: Pearl doesn't really need Luck, she has talent and money and social connections to keep her consistent, like how Support helps with her habit of running low on ink!

But it never hurts to shape your future more favorably, and to reap better rewards if you're willing to fight and flip the rewards coin as many times as possible. Maybe it's Pearl's optimism, doggedly chasing success when she finds her own way to get there, and then getting the most out of it. She really pushed to create her own future with Off the Hook, after all.

Marina

Marina's a thinking octopus, coming up with all sorts of ideas with a lot of depth, deconstructing problems and moving forward at a pace she deems reasonable. She's way too smart for her own good sometimes, getting into mischief and making problems for others with her own creations, but it's always out of good intentions. Sometimes she's off in her own world entirely! Brellas are similar in a lot of ways, possessing a unique identity that moves at its own pace, helping teammates with their canopy and making real issues of themselves for their foes.

Marina's palette favors Drone and Power chips while possessing a Sprinkler and Ink Storm. Drone chips build up self-sufficient cycles that provide for you, and Power chips give you more of a raw punch while feeding into the Drone cycles too. Ink Storm and Sprinkler come together to keep the field very much yours, allowing you to move with confidence as you dance your Brella dance.

I'll be honest, we all know why Drone is Marina's primary chip. But if you look at it in the sense of "lifting up and enabling others, and in turn doing so for yourself", it feels much closer to her. Her specials work with her depth and deconstruction of situations, putting together a lot of small pieces to get where she wants to go.

What about the Power bias, then? I think that, with how she's gone out of her way to create a completely new identity for herself in a foreign world... it's good to have some extra strength to bite back if threatened. She's always fawning over Pearl's tenacity and confidence, after all.

Agent 4

Let's take a break from idols for a second and talk about Agent 4! 4's a weird one: a somewhat blank character (as to give players the space of interpretation), but we know a fair amount about them. They're from a rural place, absorbed in activities and extracurriculars to the point that they don't really know the Squid Sisters, they're a bit silly, they're adaptable and strong and pretty smart. Their weapon is straightforward and to the point: the quintessential gun, easy to learn and extremely versatile. But what's that gun mean?

4's palette bolsters Range and Mobility, running around with Splat Bombs and the Trizooka. It's a very practical pair of chip types, I think: they build on your own knowledge of your weapon and physical abilities and let you more comfortably handle your foes. I think the sub/special kit feels very wide in application, easy to whip out and use, but really shining if you know what you're doing.

It's hard to pull together a strong interpretation here. It gives me the impression that Agent 4 is practical, favoring generalist approaches but bringing depth and reach to them, and focusing on building themselves up to make the most of this depth and reach. I guess the other way to say that is.... they're somewhat plain in ways, but their talents really shine and compliment everything about them as a person.

DJ Octavio

I always thought to myself that "if Octavio used a normal ink weapon, it'd be a splatling"-- so imagine my delight when I was proven right! The (Heavy) Splatling is an anchor for its team, providing rapidfire pressure against foes while covering its own players and opening up venues for them to advance. It's bulky and struggles to get a grip without its team, but it's a powerful presence on the field that cannot ever be overlooked. And all those things are unmistakably Octavio, too: the Octarians' anchor, the brains and the brawn behind their operations, he wields powerful and unusual technology to further his own.

Octavio's palette favors Drone and Support chips, with the curious kit of Splash Wall and Booyah Bomb. Drone chips build up that awesome cycle of destruction and prosperity, as long as you give input, and Support chips help you perform more reliably. Splash Walls are a defensive pick to set up a good situation, and Booyah Bomb gives you a flash of invincibility while tearing through foes.

We know comparatively little about Octavio, but his palette is absurdly thoughtful. Drone chips reflect his love of technology, but like with Marina, it feels like a "building up others provides for you, too" situation. Combine that with the Booyah Bomb, a showy and powerful special that thrives from your friends' support! He's a team player: it's about the Octarians, not just Octavio himself. The Splash Wall is a bit on-the-nose, reflecting his cautious defensive policies, which give him the space to strategize and develop a plan of action. Finally, support is about buffing out your weaknesses-- like Octavio's inability to shapeshift, and his poor mobility on the ground. He actively addresses those problems by doing all his fighting in a mech! But Support is also about cleverly grabbing your foe's ankles, doing sometimes mean things so you and yours can survive.

. . .

So that was fun. I think there's something really interesting in assigning these various qualities, weapons and specials to these characters; a Palette is "tied to its owner's soul", reflecting them. I do think there were a lot of deliberate choices in putting Palettes together, to make them really make sense for their owners! And I think that's super cool!

Part 2 will have Deep Cut, Agent 8, and everyone not yet covered. :D

[zzz-updates]

[Prize Event] Christmas Wishing Well

Merry Christmas, dear Proxies!

On this special day, members of Section 6 have carefully prepared Christmas surprises for all Proxies~ Come choose your exclusive present now!

✨ Vote for the Agent's present you wish to receive to enter the lucky draw for the corresponding prize pool~

>> Official Hoyolab post <<

[Prize List]

Miyabi: Razer Kraken Kitty V2 Headset ×10

Harumasa: DualSense™ Wireless Controller ×10

Yanagi: Apple Pencil (USB-C) ×10

Soukaku: $50 Amazon Gift Card (USD) ×10

*The total number of prizes for this event will be shared across all event platforms. Each Proxy can only win once.

[How to Participate]

Vote for the Agent's present you wish to receive to participate.

[Event Duration]

2024/12/24 – 2024/12/30 23:59 (UTC+8)

Winners will be announced on January 3, 2025, in this event post.

[Notes]

1. Event winners will be announced on January 3, 2025, in this post.

2. Please enable Reward Notifications before the announcement, as we will notify you of the results via System Messages. If you do not enable notifications and this affects the process of sending rewards, the rewards will not be re-issued. Link to system notification settings: https://www.hoyolab.com/setting/notification

3. Prizes in this event are limited to one per account.

4. Replies suspected of the following will be disqualified: reply content that violates community rules, plagiarism or theft of others' content, replying to a reply, starting a separate post to reply, and any posts containing advertising of any form.

5. Winners of physical prizes should fill in their address within 10 working days from the issuance of the winner's notification on the HoYoLAB platform, or their rewards will be deemed forfeited. For a step-by-step guide on how to fill out your address, please see >>>Prize Delivery Address Guide

6. For any questions regarding the event, feel free to contact us at: zzzcs_en@hoyoverse.com

7. For more rules, please see >>

[85-rend]

Hey heres my versions of the agents :3 (I don't have a design for Neo Agent 3 yet)

There's alt ref + info about them under cut as well !!

Captain 3: - Actual name is Trey - Mainly uses they/them but doesn't mind other pronouns, call em whatever you want - Half their face is scarred after Octo Expansion - Basically has kraken special permanently, that's why they're so big - Looks scary but actually pretty chill - Can use most weapon types but mains rollers Agent 4: - Her actual name is Becc - Goes by she/they - The shortest of the group and therefore closest to hell - Salmon Run enthusiast - Needs prescription glasses, has contacts as well though - Dualies main Agent 8: - Just call her Eight - Uses she/her - Lots of scars from Octo Expansion, especially on her back - Also PTSD from everything that happened there - Very sensitive to touch - Avoids any sort of battle, no turf war or ranked or anything - Got a job working at one of the shops instead - Poor girl needs a break - No main weapon class, but she'd be good with anything if she had to

[anonauthorsworkshop]

compiled masterlist: the blog's iceberg

finally got around to making this - will update whenever lmao

to those new to the blog: the Pansophical Pretender section is referring to my SCP fanfic, which is currently published only on Quotev. masterlist mostly consists of my writing, headcanons & some of my favorite asks. i also dug up everything, even all the way back to the start of my blog in 2021. excuse the length of this lmao and keep in mind some of this is dated

hope this also gives some context to some of this blog's inside jokes for newcomers (ex. MC rickrolling Yellow Lord)

Part 2 of masterlist

Requests are open!

SCP:

MHA x SCP AU: Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, bonus

SCP-049 x Injured!Junior Researcher Reader (Gender Neutral)

All-Death headcanons

An anon's 035 headcanon

035 vs Mental Illness & again & again

Pansophical Pretender Related

Ask Blog: @askpansophicalmc

Playlist (unorganized & silly)

2021

Who would attempt to murder MC & why?

What if MC met Brothers Death?

Which SCPs would protect MC?

Explanation of MC's skills

MC's biggest flex

Pangloss & MC headcanons

Reversal AU

More Pangloss & MC headcanons

079 & MC headcanons

049 & MC headcanons

How would MC even play Uno with 079?

049 x MC x 035 poly headcanons

Even more Pangloss & MC headcanons

Small Death & MC headcanons

Things MC is Not Allowed Discouraged To Do At The Foundation

More 079 & MC headcanons

Pining 049 x MC x 035 poly

MC the walking Wikipedia

High school AU

Musician AU

2022

MC's interview with Agent Bibs

Old Gods & MC headcanons

Gremlin MC

682 is an emo whale carcass

A piece about MC

The beginning of the peepaw 106 saga

106 & MC headcanons (platonic)

What if MC had a big book containing SCP tales?

MC & foundation employees headcanons

How would MC interact with D-9134 from SCP:CB?

053 & MC fluff

999 & MC headcanons

How would Bright feel about MC wearing 963?

Angst MC headcanons

MC & their knowledge of Ship in a Bottle & Part 2

O5 headcanons about MC

MC conspiracy board

Peepaw 106 you made a mess

Bright x MC headcanons

MC makes 106 wear a pretty pink princess dress

Eldritch anons prevent MC from getting medicated

MC & 191 headcanons

Why is 079's favorite color green?

Eldritch anons interact with foundation staff

Gears tries to teach eldritch anons English & with MC's child AU

A poor employee discovers the eldritch anons true form

What do the chapter drafts look like?

More about Amingvolvin

"This jumpsuit is not orange"

Ambassador vs MC

Small Death & MC Angst

"Were they hot?"

What if MC met Mekhane?

Congratulations

It's simple, really

And a strong right hook

MC rickrolls Yellow Lord & again

The iconic Kraken post

Mini Death headcanons

MC's SCP-978 photo

Expectations vs Reality

A touch-starved 049

MC forgets how to breathe

Technicalities

Smartass MC

Alagadda-Friendly LGBTQ+ Flags

Drunk MC

Time changes things

MC pranks 035

Will MC become familiar with some MTF members?

Fun fact anon's short story about MC rickrolling Yellow Lord

079 needs MC to complete a captcha

"Hey, remember when you tried to kill me?"

Ambassador's dilemma

MC x White Lord headcanons

Expectations vs Reality yet again

MC & Glass on a first-name basis

Over my dead body

"It must be an anomaly!"

[glowstickspinalfluid]

WELCOME TO ROLE SWAP AU SQUIDBEAK SPLATOON!! FEEL FREE TO PERUSE THE MENU!! it is a very long post, so I will try to spare you the scroll, but please. there is very cool headcanons on how special weapons work at the end so. please

SQUAD 1: CLOSE COMBAT AND BRUTE FORCE (FORCE SQUAD)

callie mains dynamo roller, orange is a 96 gal, and green is a luna blaster

SQUAD 2: LONG-RANGE COMBAT AND SURVEILLANCE (CALLED SUPPORT SQUAD)

marie mains splat charger, blue is an e-liter, and pink is a squiffer

SQUAD 3: SPECIAL WEAPONS (THE MOST INSUFFERABLE GUYS HERE)

3 mains n-zap, purple is a hydra, and green is an h-3

AND THE TECH GUYS? NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THEY ACTUALLY DO BUT WHATEVER IT IS ITS WORKING

AND OF COURSE

THE CAPTAIN OF THE SQUIDBEAK SPLATOON

moving on!!

ELABORATION ON SPECIAL WEAPONS SQUAD (+pearl)

some inkfish have the ability to naturally activate specials, separate from the general inkfish ability to charge specials from Big Emotions. emotion special charge still needs an outlet, usually ends up being just an ink explosion without one, and as a result a non-natural special activation requires special weapon amplification or refinement tech of some kind. natural special activation is the ability to channel special charge into a natural special, which is a special that doesn’t require any outside amplification or technology to function as a special. natural specials charge with Big Emotions, obviously, but also can be passive or by turfing, or just at the inkfish’s sheer will in some cases. natural special activation isn’t limited to natural specials, if an inkfish has access to any special refinement tech, what they can do with special charge is altered. the refinement tech can amplify a special or refine it, but it’s near impossible to refine a special without amplification.

everyone in squad 3, and pearl, is capable of natural special activation. they each can channel special energy into one natural special each, each of them different. the ability to power up on command in the middle of a war is pretty useful, hence why there’s an entire squad dedicated to it. pearl is a tech guy because she makes and tests specials, but it’s all intuition and explosive trial and error. pearl isn’t an agent instead of a very bad tech guy because she does what she wants, and she wants to dick around with the cephalopod equivalent of WMDs.

ANYWAYS THE SPECIAL WEAPONS

agent 3 can natural kraken, which can be amplified into splashdowns or krakens as we know them from splatoon 1, and later can be refined into reefsliders or triple splashdowns but we aren’t that far yet.

ourple, who I will name later, has natural inktuition, which can be amplified into echolocator, and later refined into wavebreakers

spout, who I will also give a name later, has natural inkvincibility, which can be amplified into ink armor, and refined into bubbler of splatoon 1, and can later be refined for invincibility in other specials and spawn armor.

and obviously pearl has a natural wail, which can be amplified into the princess wail, then refined into killer wail and later the 5.1 version. there's a bunch of other refined wails laying around bc pearl keeps messing around with them though

i'm sure i don't have to go into much detail to get across what the other squads do. we've all encountered scarily cracked charger and roller mains

and that is all, thank you :3

[blueberry-blast]

Updated my Agent 8 design! Originally started this right after the Side Order trailer dropped but got sidetracked by a bunch of things

[minusecko]

Splatoon x Dragon Ball WIP

There's some basic background information and poll under the cut if you want more details!

OMG HIII I DIDNT THINK YOUD BE HERE!!!

or you accidentally hit keep reading but that's whatever

Ok so this is FAR from finished so this is for a little background on what I'm trying to do here.

I'm loosely basing this animation off Goku and Vegeta's first fight, specifically the part where Vegeta goes Great Ape, but I haven't gotten that far yet.

In terms of character choice, I went with OG Agent 3 as Goku because they just fit the bill as main protagonist, and I'll have 4 and Neo 3 standing in for Krillin/Gohan later in the animation. Important to note that they're not 1 to 1 replacements either. Neo 3 is cast as Gohan because my Neo 3 is an Inktoling, making them a hybrid like Gohan, but they're not OG 3's kid. The rest of the NSS serve the same role as the Z-Fighters, with 4 being the best friend of 3 like Krillin is to Goku.

The Octarians, specifically the elites, are my Saiyan Army replacements because they're the best option I had as a large army force. Marina, 8, and Acht are special cases, but that goes more into the plot I have mapped out for this AU, and that's for another time. I specifically went with the Splat3 Elite Octoling for two reasons:

Vegeta is an elite saiyan so I wanted to use an elite octoling

Because I thought that the "fuzzification" where the fur grows and the eyes change to match the fuzzy ooze would work perfectly as the transition between their humanoid form and a fuzzy Kraken, which would be my stand in for the Great Ape/Oozaru transformation

So far it's been really fun to put together. I've been learning how to utilize Blender Eevee better throughout, since it lets me have a lot more control over things like lighting and shading. No telling when I'll finish this, but I'm hoping it'll be done in at least a few months. I have plenty of scenes I still have to animate, and then there's dialogue and sound effects I gotta add too, so there's still plenty more for me to add.

Actually now I'm curious-

[ferelbasta]

Some more sketches! This time of two Yokai Watch OCs that have been on the back burner for quite awhile, just trying to figure them out. Who we have here are actually fan kids of two ships I really love, the first one is Roxanne, Agent X and Rongo Swirlls daughter, and the second is Oliver Kraken, Chairman Mckraken and Dr. Maddimans son.

I’ve had their designs brewing in my head for maaaaaany years by this point but atm I’ve been having big YW brain rot so I decided to attempt to get their designs down… at least their first draft. I’m sure something’s will change when I draw them more but their personalities are def set in stone :3

[writernopal]

Some Lines

Combining a few tag games here to share a few lines of some stuff I've written lately because, as always, I am perpetually behind on tags T_T

Thanks to @teamdilf (here), @tabswrites (here), @noblebs (here), @mysticstarlightduck (here), @mister-writes (here), and

@cosmiccoincidence (here)!

Tagging (gently): @acertainmoshke @sarahlizziewrites @crowandmoonwriting and @sugar-phoenix !

cw: none, just under a cut bc its long-ish

It was strange to imagine. How could a vessel, this mighty invention of man crafted for the sole purpose of travel not move? Indeed it seemed impossible. But what good were wide sails and tall masts without that most crucial agent of change? None at all. And so the proud construction became at once butchery and butcher, each part of her now being keenly inspected by shifty eyes, wondering what portion of her would be theirs. What of that body might sustain them while she, the craft, honed her knife eagerly eyeing the men in much the same way. Ship and crew were not symbiotic then, but parasitic, each anticipating the elixir of life from the other. Could doldrums be a landed affair too? I found myself scratching at the thought incessantly, no matter how occupied I kept my hands. Even now, with the most treasured needles Axtapor had sculpted for me, yes, even with these in my grasp, I could not will my fingers to be busy knots and loops. All they wanted was to break that question open and search for the truth within its bowels. Which of us was the vessel and which the crew? When would we find wind again? When would the food run out?  When would we have to make a choice that there was no coming back from? I trembled. That choice had a name, a face, a voice. I heard it day and night even when the choice was not before me asking if I wanted to make it. Asking if I wanted to know. To face it felt akin to lettering my name in the ship’s deck log, on the page no captain ever wished to use. Like every entry, it would be made in ink, but beside it would be a brief eulogy for why my name had been signed there. Heartbreak, it might say. Any who might read it later, with the benefit of hindsight and free of choice’s allure, would surely wonder if I couldn’t hang on just a little longer. Go just that much farther. Push it down as I always had. But deck logs were facts, not accounts of witness or studies of life, and so the question would remain unanswered long after the wind came back and decisions were easy.

AASOAF 3 Taglist: @outpost51 @thelivingdeceased @faelanvance @captain-kraken @illjustpretend

@elshells @full-on-sam @the-mindless @zestymimblo @tabswrites

@void-botanist

Join/leave the taglist using this Google Form.

[chillibeanos]

THE MISADVENTURES OF BEAN SPROUT

Episode 1 - A Normal Day In Suburbia

*apologies that it runs a bit short!!!!!!!

(ALL FRANCHISE-BASED WORKS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS)

Sit back, Relax, and Enjoy!!

White-picket fences, barbed wire and trenches…

These are what Auburn was generally described with. It was a town of joy, happiness, sorrow, chaos, deep-minded people…Basically anything goes. Some people go on long and quiet days in their room, while others go to Mulberry Beach. Maybe others wanted to see Prosopagnosia Museum to look at great works of art. Perhaps you could go to the Amaryllis Town Center to go shopping for your daily needs. You could go to the Burgundy Boardwalk to see new sights and sounds…

There’s a good range of everything.

However, our story takes a turn. This tale revolves around our childish yet violent anti-hero rabbit creature, Bean Sprout. Today they’re in a doctor’s office. One of their friends is operating on an injury they got while taking a dangerous trek through the most dangerous place imaginable…

“That’s not true, Bean. You fell off the high-dive at the local pool.”

“It is true! My whole body hurts now.”

“Only your hands should hurt.”

“Not as much as yours though.”

“Just be quiet.”

“Right. Sorry, Mr Strange.”

That’s right. Bean is friends with Dr. Strange. How? I don’t know, it just happened one day and that brought us here.

Stephen sighed. “How old are you Bean? Like 12?

“Excuse you! I’m 28!

“You don’t look or act like you’re 28.”

“I can look and act like I’m-”

Just then, Stephen poked their hand accidentally, making them let out a cartoon-like shout.

“YEOWCH!!!!”

“Sorry, sorry. Let me get that.

“:[“

“Bean…don’t look at me like that.”

“I got an ouchie :[“

“Bean, you’re fine. You’re a disciple to a literal god. He can get you a new body if you ever die.”

“But ouchie :[

Also, don’t go around saying that, Mr. Strange. There are dangerous people coming for my throat as we speak.”

“Well, maybe…you shouldn’t have killed all of those people when you were 12.”

“I was young! Naive even! I wasn’t thinking clearly! Brains aren’t fully developed until you’re 25 you know.”

“...It doesn’t seem like yours right now is fully developed either.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

As their surgery was done, Bean thanked him and went off on their merry way. They went to the beach to relax. They took off their shoes and put their little bunny paws in the sand.

“Ah…peace and quiet…”

A ship was being taken down by a kraken in the distance.

“Like I said…peace and quiet…”

There was a person on fire, screaming in agony as their skin peeled off behind them.

“He’ll walk it off.”

They smiled and began burying themself in the sand. Yeah, they aren’t the most morally-correct or empathetic person out there, but they didn’t care. They were having fun and that’s all that mattered. They were part of the Guardians of The Galaxy for god’s sake! They were a big time Toon in 1956 Hollywood. They worked for the President as a D.S.O Agent. They were happily married to 97 different people. Their brothers were Ash Williams and Ethan Winters. They are heavily considered to be adopt-able. Their uncles were Arthur Morgan and Tony Stark. Their cousins were the Animaniacs, which technically made them Warner Brothers property legally. They’re wanted for several millions of units in the galaxy and are still on the run from being put on death row. Their sister was the Savior of the Mutiverse, Kai Drew! There’s seemingly nothing they aren’t capable of doing.

Later in the day, they went over to an afternoon barbecue at someone’s household. They went in and stood next to Monarch Lovelace, the sexiest butterfly hybrid around. He was holding a glass of white wine, as was Bean.

“Hi Monarch!”

“Oh hello, Bean. it’s good to see you.”

“How are you? :3”

“Good. You?”

“I got hand surgery today.”

“Oh, are you okay? Did it go well?”

“Mhm. I’m fine. It went well.”

“That’s good.”

Monarch smiled warmly and held both of the bunny’s hands. He pressed a gentle kiss on them.

“I think this was a good close for today. Don’t you agree, Bean?”

“Yeah…It sure was-” Bean was being totally normal and not insane about the guy doing that just now while they were in proximity.

Monarch put a hand over their shoulder as they both watched the people at the party have fun at the gathering…

[End of Episode 1]