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ultimatetornshipper · 4 years

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To bee or not to bee - a Jasonette fic

@moonlitceleste I almost let this die, I honestly really wanted it dead but alas it was clearly meant to bee

(WARNING: contains puns, angst, crack and fluff. You have been warned)

If you don’t want to read my sarcastic/funny/fangirl commentary, skip the brackets

I have another bee movie au, i didn't plan it ("I don't claim to be proud. But my head won't be hung in shame. I didn't plan it. But the light turned red, and I ran it. And I'm still standing. It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here. I understand it. A story written by my own hand" as quoted from Waitress), it just happened and i just couldn't resist. I'm not sorry

So what if instead of dying Joker turned Jason into a bee. Because Harley convinced him and told him that people were talking shit about him because he's named the Joker and they don't think he's funny. It surprisingly works. (Obviously Harley was the one who made the plan and did the magic I mean really what do u expect of Joker?)

Ok so now Jason’s a bee right? And he’s like 15 because .~:°*plot*°:~.

They look for him and Jason’s like flying around like, “Guys! Guys I’m right here!” Poor kid. (I mean I would make it funny but like angst)

Obviously they don’t understand him because he’s a fucking bee and Joker cackles madly and Harley laughs too but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes and it's kinda that laugh u do when ur supes overwhelmed and sound maniacal but like soft (I’m a simp for Harley being portrayed as the complex and beautiful character she id leave me be)

Jason is very sad. And also quite pissed

Not knowing what else to do he follows Batman home, he listens to them trying to find him, watches Dick freak out and Alfred wipe a tear the rest of the family doesn’t see.

Jason tries to approach Alfred, hoping he somehow recognizes what happened

He doesn’t, Alfred closes him in a glass and paper and takes him outside.

He sneaks back into the manor and sleeps in one of the flowers (it's a red tulip because aesthetic) next to his bed. He cries himself to sleep. (Can bees cry? Is this possible? Is this like a thing??? I don't need sleep i need answers)

The thing is even tho he's now a bee, he still has the durability of a human, so even stepping on him won’t crush him and he still has a human lifespan

Because Harley isn’t a monster and what Puddin didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. (Simping for Harley Quinn strike 2)

After a while at the manor and following them he decides he can’t stand it anymore. Alfred has thrown him out three times and Dick freaks out each time he sees him as he’s a tad allergic (read: he would die if stung)

Which is how Jason found out that getting hit with a newspaper wouldn’t kill him.

He leaves.

He’s a bee and it’s not like he knows about a way to reverse it.

But there was someone who might.

He goes to Arkham.

Luckily, Harley was still there. (YAY we get to see mah gurl)

He flies into her cell and she just watches him, then she seems to click. She gives him a small smile, “Hi birdie,” (she puns, honestly would make for a better clown of Gotham and I saw an idea for that once where she steals Joker’s title once and I’ve been yearning for it ever since)

She holds out a finger and he lands on it, she laughs but tears come to her eyes,” Hey at least you’re not dead. That was his original plan you know? To kill you with a crowbar. I convinced him this would be a cruller fate. I guess maybe it is, but at least this way... Ugh how the hell did I get here,” (Harley angst, honestly it’s all just self service at this point)

He simply stared at her as she cried, and he felt his heart clench. From here she looked so sad... not crazy, just broken.

She took a deep breath and looked at him seriously, “Look kid, there’s a way to get you back to normal, you just need to find someone, they’re called the Guardian of the Miraculous. They can help, I don’t know who or where they are, just follow your instincts. And come say hi when you get back, yeah? I could do with the... healthier company. And remember, I bee-lieve in you,” (Gasp what a shock, you mean to tell me Miraculous magic is gonna be involved in this Maribat au. Well I never what a shock. Also puns. Oh and she’s so nice to him. We love Harley in this house)

He sat there and studied her for a while more, there was more to her than it seemed. Than what he’d assumed.

But for now, he had his own problems to deal with.

She gave him a small wave as he left. (Adorable)

He left and started considering his options, as a bee, it would probably be safest to stay inside, away from birds and things that would view him as a snack.

Staying in Arkham seemed like his best option, as bad an option as it was.

Most of the prisoners wouldn’t have a second thought about trying to crush him.

A strong scent of flowers and plants suddenly came to his attention.

Of course! Poison Ivy. (Round 2 of me simping for beautiful, complex, badass women. Too bad Catwoman ain’t here.)

He followed the smell to her cell and saw her staring out of her small window. He was still taking a chance, but she loved plants and flowers and bees were important to those, weren’t they?

He flew to the window bars and sat on one. The moment she spotted him she smiled widely, in a soft way he hadn’t seen on her before. (Ahhhhh my darling plant redhead. I love writing the Sirens as soft badasses. Also has anyone noticed how rare brunettes are in superhero worlds? Like both in Marvel and DC but like irl brown is like a pretty damn common)

She held out her finger, “Hey there, little guy. A little far from home, aren’t we?”

She had no idea.

He landed on her fingertip and watched in awe as a flower and a few leaves formed on her hand. She let the flower grow itself around one of her window bars and held her finger next to one of the petals.

“There you go, it’s all I can manage with my power dampers. I haven’t had company in a while,” she said softly as he crawled into the flower. He made himself comfortable.

She laughed to herself and he saw her shaking her head, “Talking to a bee, well, I guess stranger things have happened,” (yeah ur crush is dating a green haired murderous psychopath and you get beat up by a billionaire in a batsuit on like a biweekly basis)

The flower was soft and warm and felt safer than he expected it to. He found that he could move between the petals but decided to curl up in the middle. (It's a pink rose this time because fuck yeah flowers)

He slept better than he had in days.

The next morning he took his leave, stopping only at the manor to say a mental goodbye.

Then he headed off.

Jason flew a lot the first few months, our boy was smart at least, travelling with a cruise ship on its way to Europe.

It was Spring in the Northern Hemisphere so he had until Autumn until it was in his best interest to head south to avoid the snow. He decided to head towards Africa when summer started coming to an end. (I have no reasoning for this, just that I want to)

His first spot would be the United Kingdom. Then he'd go through the rest of Europe following his instincts.

At least it was Spring.

Jason diligently searched through England, Scotland and Ireland but found nothing.

By the time he was done he realized it was time to start heading South. He’d decided to take another cruise to South-Africa, where it would be summer, he searched through the country until April. He would admit that he didn’t feel drawn to anything in any of their 9 provinces so his search wasn’t as diligent as in England. He didn’t feel anymore drawn to the neighbouring countries like Namibia or Botswana either.

(Once again no reasoning for why I picked these countries, I mean the French Hugonotes went there when they were fleeing from the French Catholics who wanted them dead so I guess I could make up some bullshit about Mari having an ancestor in common with someone there or maybe it was just the ship he could easiest get access I don’t know, you make something up)

Which was why he decided to go back to Europe as soon as April hit.

He hitched another ride on a cruise headed for France.

It’s been a year since he got turned into a damn bee.

He was sixteen now and while he’d seen some amazing things all through South-Africa (a place that proves that humans really do have a weirdly obvious way of naming things I mean the Amazon river and Chad Lake are just more examples really) as well as the United Kingdom, all he really wanted was to go back home, to be human again.

When he gets there he diligently makes his way through France, eventually arriving in Paris.

He lands on the tip top of the Eiffel Tower. As in the point of the antenna because why not.

During his year he realized that birds and other animals tended to avoid him, sensing his strangeness so that was at least one positive.

He stared out over the city. Well, the one good thing about this was definitely the views he’s been allowed to see.

That was until a massive explosion hit.

“What the fuck?” he said out loud, searching for the source. No one understood him, human or bee, but talking to himself reminded him of his humanity.

He found the source of the explosion but just as he started flying to its general direction, a blinding white light shone followed by a horde of ladybugs that were fixing everything that was wrong. (Imagine how scary this would lowkey be irl tho? Just a shit ton of Ladybugs descending on Paris my dude)

He decided that he needed a night’s sleep before he could even begin an attempt at deciphering what had just happened. He flew lower, finding a nice little balcony right above a bakery. And it had flowers. (I’ll give u five seconds to guess who this balcony belongs to)

He flew down, exploring.

He turned around when he heard a loud thump from behind him. What appeared to be a super heroine in red spandex with black spots had landed on the balcony.

She detransformed and started to talking to a floating bug- fairy thing. Strange. Though it wasn’t like he could judge, as an ex superhero sidekick who was thought to be dead but was actually a bee.

She disappeared down her trapdoor and he made himself comfortable in one of her flowers.

He slept soundly until somewhere during a night another thump woke him. He looked out of his sleeping spot to see a cat superhero stand on her balcony. He leaned down and knocked on her small trapdoor.

Ah, a teammate of hers, they were probably meeting about something, he thought as he heard her open up.

It didn’t take him long to realize that even though they were teammates, the cat, Chat Noir he later learned, was not aware of this fact.

Oh this was rich.

He couldn’t bee-lieve his eyes. (ok so Jason used self-referential puns but can you really blame him? It’s really just me and my pun problem so don’t blame the kid)

He was going on and on about his feelings for Ladybug, the girl’s hero form, that were clashing with his feelings for another girl he fenced with, while she listened, clearly fed up with it.

He also claimed that he thought that maybe they were one and the same. Which, to Jason, was hilarious as he was literally saying this to the actual Ladybug’s face.

Marinette- he learned from the Cat’s ongoing blabbering, he was a real blab-bee mouth, - was clearly tired, nodding half asleep, probably having heard it all before.

When he finally left Jason went to sleep again, incredibly amused and even more thankful that he was fluent in French. ( u think this is plot convenience? Just u wait mah dude iz about to get worse)

The next morning he decided to follow her to school. Which was how he learned of her huge crush on a boy named Adrien Agreste.

After learning the boy could fence thanks to Marinette’s obsession interest in him, he got suspicious.

Could it really bee? (not a typo)

After seeing the boy transform a month or two later for patrol he laughed like he hadn’t for over a year. It very much was. He'd spent the time staying on Marinette's balcony and decided to stay another week before moving on and continuing his search, after all, he couldn't stop now that he finally felt like he was getting close.

The next day she got home crying, claiming that Adrien had started dating someone else.

Kagami, she called the girl. Probably the fencer if he had to place a bet.

“I’m sorry, Marinette,” Tikki told the girl.

“That boy's an idiot,” he said, speaking his mind, another thing he’d gotten use to being allowed to do without consequence.

Marinette nearly jumped out of her skin, she looked around and he realized that she could hear him. He hadn’t really spoken too much before, at least not when she was around. He was usually content with watching her do whatever she was doing that day.

“Tikki, did you hear that?” she asked, Tikki nodded, her eyes landing on him.

“Oh,” the kwami said softly, flying over to him, “Oh, you poor thing, who did this to you?” (Tikki is the first ever mom friend and u can fight me on this)

He stared up at her, flying so that they were eye level.

Marinette gaped at them, heartbreak seemingly forgotten, “Tik- Tikki, are- who are you talking- are you talking to a – Tikki is that a bee?!” she finally spluttered out.

“No,” Tikki said, studying him, he felt his heart twist in hope and his stomach roll in surprise. Did she know?

“I mean yes, but no. He’s a boy whose been turned into a bee,” Tikki explained, turning back to Marinette.

“Oh,” Marinette said softly, turning to him. She held her hand out and after some hesitation he landed on her finger. She looked at him then back to Tikki.

How did they know? Would he really be that lucky? Was this real?

“Uhm, how?” she said, staring at him in disbelief. He tried shrugging but realized he couldn’t anymore- beecause of his- well if you haven’t caught on to the fact that he’s a bee by now you should really start from the beginning of this story.

“I don’t know, but Joker and Harley Quinn were involved,” he said.

Marinette stared at him in disbelief, blinking a few times. She sat in shock a few moments longer. (Our darling is an awkward lil bean, and while in media awkward is portrayed as cute, irl it isn’t, it’s just well… awkward. And we’re writing a serious and realistic fic about this sidekick of guy who wears a batsuit/billionaire's ward getting turned into a bee and falling in love with a magical girl fighting a butterfly man- none of this unrealistic nonsense)

Tikki flew over and sat on Marinette’s shoulder while her holder processed the information, the kwami stared at him sweetly, “What’s your name?”

He swallowed, he hadn’t said his name in ages, it stirred up something (emotion, it’s called emotion, Jason, you know? The thing Batman can’t process??) in him, “Jason Todd,”

Marinette seemed to finally snap out of her daze, “That sounds American. Are you American? Wait if Joker and Harley are involved then you’re probably from Gotham. Are you? Wait I’ve seen the name Jason Todd somewhere. Weren’t you some rich guy’s ward? It was all over the news last year, Alya wouldn’t stop talking about it for a month, she had a million theories. He was – you were announced dead two months after Robin was taken captive by Joker, everyone thought he was – you were killed. Joker made outrageous claims as they arrested him... saying that they’d never find Robin... that he’d all but disappeared in thin air... that he wouldn’t be the only one wearing stripes... I remember because he put a really weird emphasis on the words be and stripes and...,” her eyes widened and she gasped as she looked at him in what could only be described as pure shock. (Yes this happens, people can talk for this long and since I personally know headcannon that Marinette is ADHD this long ass paragraph is just another Tuesday bud)

He sat there, surprised that she figured it all out so quickly. (yeah bub it’s called plot convenience and it’s because of me, the writer, I don’t wanna focus on secret ID shenanigans, I got other plans for yall, also Mari is smart, don’t underestimate her)

“You’re Robin,” she breathed, “they turned you into a bee. Wait- How the hell did they turn you into a bee?!”

He chuckled, “Bee-lieve me I’ve been asking myself that question for more than a year,”

She bit her lip, seemingly contemplating his words and ignoring his pun, “Tikki do you know anything that could help? Do you think Miraculous magic-,”

He felt his heart stop, he flew up to her face, flying at eye level, “Wait, did you just say Miraculous? Harley said if I could find the Guardian of the miraculous, they could help me, do you know where they are? I’ve been looking for so long,” (‘°;~*.plot convenience.*~;°’)

Marinette blinked at him and Tikki's face dawned with realization.

“I’m the guardian of the miraculous,” Marinette said softly, “Tikki, that means I can help him, right?”

Tikki nodded and he had to dial down the hope in his heart because the look on her face told him there was a Kim Kardashian sized butt on the way.

“We can help him, but we’re gonna have to wait. (don’t look at me like that, do u want them to have time to bond or not?) You’re not trained enough to pull it off yet. If you were to do it now, all three of us would be out of commission for far too long, especially with Hawkmoth on the prowl,” Tikki said.

They must’ve been able to sense his sadness because they were staring at him with an incredible amount of pity. The amount was quite unsettling actually and he suddenly felt a primal like urge to pun. (An extract from my book: “My unhealthy coping mechanisms and how to use them,” specifically Chapter 8: “Humor hides the pain”)

Suddenly Tikki’s face lit up, the whiplash of her expression change throwing any notion of punning out the window.

“Well, there’s one thing we could do,” she said, excitedly, zipping buzzing around “If he wears a miraculous, he'll return back to human form while transformed,”

Marinette perked up at the idea, but confusion soon overtook her features, “But Tikki, most of the miraculous are bigger than he is,”

Tikki waved her away,” It’s fine it’ll work,”

“Ok,” Marinette said after a bit of thought. She stood and he followed while she started climbing down her skylight,” I’m thinking you can try each of them out for different patrols and then we’ll see which one matches you best. This could be fun, having some fun sized company while figuring out how to defeat Hawkmoth,”

He laughed, flying near her ear, “Fun sized, huh? I’ll have you know I’m considered tall in human form, unlike some of us,”

She laughed and rolled her still tear stained eyes, and so, the beginning of a bee-autiful friendship bloomed.

Marinette walked to her closet and Jason took in her room. It was very pink, but in a well-balanced way - it wasn’t completely overbearing. His eye caught on a few pictures of Adrien Agreste on her wall but figured now wouldn’t be a great time to bring it up. (Look he’s already more emotionally aware, #foreshadowing of character development)

She removed a big box from her closet. She opened it and it was filled with what appeared to be a bunch of scrap materials. At the bottom she removed a bigger bundle of black and red fabric and he flew closer.

She put it in her lap and Jason had to do a double take when he realized that her hands were glowing and what the actual fuck- it was a box now -fuck fuck fuck- why was it a box? How? What- Jason was pretty sure he did not sign up for this.

She put the box down in front of her and to his relief she opened her mouth to speak as she lifted the lid, so he’d understand everyth- and its jewellery.

The box contained jewellery. Animal themed jewellery by the looks of things.

He then realized that these were probably the other miraculous.

She looked over each artefact before handing him the yellow and black hairclip.

Out of all of them, she picked the bee miraculous.

“Hilarious,” he replied dryly, giving her a look, he realized too late she wouldn’t be able to register- on account of, well you know… (if u don’t know by now, you don’t get to find out anymore)

She gave him a grin and replied, “I certainly think it is,”

Her teasing expression turned into one of worry, “I mean we could switch it out if it makes you uncomfortable-,” (being a sassy people pleaser with no filters really do be like this tho)

He laughed, “Don’t worry, I’m only teasing. What do I do?”

Marinette opened her mouth to answer before obviously realizing that she didn’t have an answer. She turned to Tikki and the kwami had a fond smile on her face before turning to Jason. (Just Tikki casually mentor- moming Mari because Fu is useless)

“Just step on the miraculous, it’ll sense that you’re human,” the creature replied.

When he stepped onto the bee miraculous, its kwami appeared.

Pollen stared at him for a few seconds before she realized what was happening.

After an explanation about her power set and what exactly he could do in suit, he transformed.

He felt his human body appearing. He was taller and more built than he remembered being. His flying clearly had physical consequences then, not that he was complaining.

His suit included a pair of bee wings. His hair was longer than he remembered it being too.

He had a black leather jacket and combat boots. With it was a pair of practical black leggings and a yellow t-shirt with three thick black stripes. (The three stripes represent each one of his families, the Todds, the Waynes and The Dupain-Chengs, because I can) He also had a pair of black gloves. His boots had yellow laces. On his face was a black and yellow striped domino mask. The top sat on his hip. The bee miraculous sat on the middle of his chest in the form of a broach.

He all but sprinted to the mirror. He stared at his face, his blue eyes and his nose that never healed quite right after breaking it that one time. His black hair was messy and stuck up every which way, his cheekbones were as high as always, and he had a little bit of stubble and it was so familiar and so new all at once.

He touched his face, barely registering the tears flowing down his cheeks and laughed in relief. He was human again. This was real! He could- he was closer to normal than he ever thought he’d get to be.

He turned to Marinette who was staring up at him in shock. He picked her up and spun her around, laughing in joy. And after a moment she joined in. He put her down and put his hands on her shoulders, smiling widely, “Thank you. Thank you so much,”

She smiled up at him, a slightly sad look on her face, “I’m sorry, it’s not permanent,”

“Don’t be sorry. For the first time I have hope. It will be permanent eventually, and till then, I have you with me, right?” he squeezed her shoulder, still high on the feeling of hope and warmth and familiarity.

When he was overcome with the sudden urge to pull her into a hug, he didn’t resist.

He held her close, resting his chin on her head, “Damn, I missed this. Hugging, I mean. I haven’t... it’s been so long,” (not that he got all that many hugs from Bruce “emotionally constipated” Wayne)

She wrapped her arms around him, “I can imagine,”

They stood there a while before the time for patrol came along. She transformed and they made their way to the Eiffel tower, where they met Chat.

The cat themed hero rose his brow questioningly, “I thought we didn’t recruit new heroes unless it was an emergency?”

Ladybug smiled nonchalantly, “It’s Guardian business, he’s gonna be a permanent fixture in our team for at least a few months so we might as well get used to working as a team,”

Chat Noir eyed him wearily and he stepped forward, sticking his hand out, “Hi, I’m Blackback, nice to meet you,”

Chat Noir shook his hand and gave Ladybug a sceptical look, “An American? Really?”

“Please Chat, he's not American, it’s just the glamour hiding his actual accent,” she replied simply, shooting Jason a worried look.

He couldn’t give away his identity, but he was also technically a bee, he didn’t really have an identity to give away. So, her behaviour was strange. Unless she wanted to give him an identity somehow?

He couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of patrol.

When they got home Marinette revealed that she wanted to give him the fox miraculous. If they asked Trixx she would be able to design the costume in a way that allowed him to look like a normal civilian, without the mask.

Trixx's glamour was also stronger than the rest so his true identity as Jason Todd would be protected.

And she could help him fake an accent.

Since Marinette was a year younger than him he could just pick up where he left off school wise.

She convinced her parents that he was an exchange student in desperate need of a place to stay because the person he would’ve stayed with backed out last minute.

They agreed easily and Jason decided to not question it.

It was his third family. His second if you only counted non abusive ones. First if you wanted one with a healthy family dynamic.

They got him a fake birth certificate and name. He went with the alias Thomas Grayson. He thought it was kind of funny, and it paid homage to both Bruce and Dick. It gave him something from home to hold on to. (Jason isn’t really salty about not being avenged in this au, he didn’t die and Talia and the pit madness wasn’t there to egg on his anger. But maybe if I ever get back to this au we could do a thing with it… guess we’ll have to wait and see ;-) no promises tho)

He built himself another home with Marinette and her family. And before he knew it, he was happy again. He felt secure.

Through the weeks, he ingrained himself into Marinette's life. In a blink of an eye, they were best friends, and he couldn’t imagine life without her.

He loved living with her family as she trained to be strong enough to turn him back to normal.

He grew close to Marinette’s friends and was her shoulder to cry on about Adrien. He and Adrien got along pretty well, and he and Marc and Rose traded Literature jokes. Max would join in when it involved Shakespeare.

Then Lila happened. (She’s a staple in Maribat fiction. U can’t have Maribat without Lila. Or well u can but that’s usually a very specific au)

Her lies started out simple enough. Then she started manipulating everyone and he, Marinette, Chloe and Adrien were one scheme away from being ostracized. They sat in the back row.

They ignored her sneers and let her lie to her heart’s content. Then one day she said something that made both Marinette and Jason freeze.

“You know, I was childhood friends with Jason Todd (I know she usually gets the names wrong but like her knowing the name just makes this next bit better) You know, Bruce Wayne’s ward who died a while ago? It was just so sad. He grew up in a nice family but his parents both died in a car accident and Brucie took pity on him. He even let us keep in contact afterwards, since our parents were such good friends. We all miss them dearly of course. We were neighbours the year we lived in Gotham, you know? We'd play every day-,” she started fake crying, “Oh it just gets too much sometimes,”

But to Jason’s shock Alya didn’t move to console Lila, in fact, she was staring at the brunette in shock.

He turned his gaze to Marinette to see the girl wearing the biggest, coldest, most satisfied smirk. She rested her chin on her hands and grinned at Lila in a way that made shivers go down his spine.

He turned back, this ought to be good.

And it was.

Alya absolutely lost it.

She ripped Lila a new one and frankly? Jason was impressed. (Alya has a temper and she’s a fangirl, and we all know how we get when someone gets something wrong about one of our hyperfixations, even if it’s an old one so like yall can imagine how bad Lila had fucked up)

When an akuma flew in towards Lila, Alya grabbed it, staring the girl down with a fury he didn’t know she could possess, “Don’t you dare! Do you think I’m blind? I’ve seen how easily you get akumatized and this time I’m not letting it happen!”

Of course, Alya then got akumatized but hey it beat another version of Lila.

Everyone made up but they weren’t quite as close as before. Their group tended to consist mostly out of him, Marinette, Chloe, Adrien, Kagami and Luka.

Other than that incident and akuma attacks, life was pretty good.

In fact, it was great.

He and Marinette would spend nights on her balcony, laughing and slow dancing. They star gazed and went on patrols. He helped her when she got nightmares and she returned the favour. They went on long walks and spent the holidays together. They crammed for tests and he played model for her designs. They worked in the bakery and hung out with their friends both in and out of suit. They’d joke about his technical bee-ness and he and Chat drove her mad with puns. In retaliation she’d introduce him as her bee friend to people or only give him honey and bee themed things. (ok this sentence sounds weird but I mean like when she brings them sweets from the bakery to snack on while working and stuff.)

And one laugh, memory and fight at a time, he started to fall. (I just want good things for Jason, and really can you blame me?)

Through the months, he kept up to date on the news about Bruce Wayne and Marinette held his hand each time a new kid joined his brood. She reminded him that no child could be replaced and reassured him that of course Bruce would want him back when they figured everything out.

And if he didn’t, she’d kick his ass into space, and he’d stay with her family in Paris- a family she made sure he knew he was a part of.

He helped Sabine in the kitchen and was the only one who came closest to beating Marinette’s Ultimate Mega Strike 3 record. Tom taught him to shave and bake. He was integrated into their family and they treated him as part of the family.

But even if they were giving him everything they were, he missed Bruce. And Dick. And Alfred. And Barbara. And Gotham. He missed them all so much. He missed home.

So, 14 months later, when Marinette told him they had a meeting with the Justice League about the Hawkmoth situation, Jason felt his heart skip a beat.

“What?” he asked softly, his eyes brimming with tears (Marinette taught him how to emotion, you see. So Jason is emotionally stable-ish enough to cry without feeling embarrassed about it), “I get to see him again?”

Marinette nodded and hugged him from behind, “I’m planning on telling him what happened. Is there anything you can tell him to verify who you are?”

Memories from a million years ago entered his mind, “Yes,”

She took his hand and took a step back, “And I think I can fix you before we go, I’m strong enough. But I’d still like your help in the final battle, I mean I know you’re going home but...,”

He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiled, “Of course, Pixie. I’ll always be there for you when you need me,”

He pressed a kiss against her forehead, a movement so familiar it was practically a part of him. He pulled her close and cried into her hair.

“What if he doesn’t believe me?” he asked softly, after a while, resting his chin on top of her head.

“He will,” she replied, tightening her grip around his waist.

They both knew she had no guarantee of that. That she had no way of knowing for sure. Neither of them did. And it scared him more than he wanted to admit.

The next day they do the magic turning back thing. It freaks him out quite a bit but not as much as her revealing the miraculous freaked him out the first time, you get kinda used to the magic shenaniganary. They’re both passed out for an hour afterwards and when they wake up, he holds her, crying, because he was finally, finally back to normal and this was real and permanent, and it was over.

She cried with him and held him, and they then went out and he wore a shirt she made for him, and they got ice cream the next day. They celebrated some more and went to the park with the squad and they had a picnic.

It was better than he ever could've imagined.

While the sun was setting, they stood back on her balcony, where they first spoke all those months ago, slow dancing. He pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at her as the orange light of the sunset shone on them. (So aesthetic)

“Thank you, Marinette, for everything,” he says as he rubs his thumb across her cheek. His hand holding her face. She puts her hand over his and closes her eyes, savouring the moment.

She opened her eyes again and smiled, “I’d do it again and more, if it meant I’d get to be with you,”

He started leaning down, “If I lost you, I’d fly all over the world just to find you again,”

She raised to her tip toes, faces millimetres from one another, blue bells meeting ice, “So it was all worth it in the end?”

He moves closer, eyes searching hers. “Definitely,” he breathes.

She closes the distance, and he picks her up and spins her around. They break apart and their laughter fills the air.

(now that’s enough fluff, allow me to drown you in angst)

The next day they stood on the Eiffel tower. She took his hand, “Let’s recap. I go in, we have our Hawkmoth meeting, then I ask if I can speak to Batman and Nightwing alone. Then I tell them I found you, then I give them – are you sure it’s necessary for me to give them your blood, hair and a cheek swab? Isn’t that overkill?” (Batman is serious about his no kill rule, but he’s also serious about his there’s no such thing as overkill rule)

He shook his head and she sighed, “Okay. Then I give him means to contact me and I come back. Now remember they might take a while to process and they won’t necessarily call immediately-,”

“What if they never call?” he asked, gripping her hand tightly.

She ran her finger softly through his hair, “Then you have us to help you get through it,”

He nodded, she kissed his cheek and stepped through the portal with Queen Bee, Chat Noir and Viperion. He and Ryuuko stayed behind as backup, he wielded the Fox miraculous these days, but kept the name Blackback, always wearing a black leather jacket no matter the transformation.

He and Ryuko discussed fighting styles, she was kindly trying to distract him, and if it had been anything else he needed distracting from, it would’ve worked.

So passed the slowest forty-five minutes of his life. Chat Noir and Queen Bee exit a portal and so the wait for Marinette and Luka began.

She and Bruce were talking now. Bruce would know he was alive. This was make or break for him. Luka was nearby to act as back up worst-case scenario.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, followed by someone taking and rubbing circles on his back. He looked down to see Ryuuko on his one side and saw Chat Noir on his other.

“We’ve got you,” Chloe said standing in front of him, hand on his unoccupied shoulder.

He swallowed and nodded. She squeezed his upper arm and met his gaze, “Breathe, you’re safe, honey,”

So, 30 more minutes pass. They sit down and somewhere along the line Chat goes and grabs a dozen croissants from the bakery.

In another situation he might’ve laughed. He’d baked this morning’s batch and now he got to eat some of it for free, of course, technically he could get others for free too but-

The portal opened behind them and Ladybug and Viperion stepped out. He noted that she didn’t have the bag of his DNA with her anymore.

She smiled softly at him, “Now we wait,”

And wait they did.

They waited two weeks.

And then the burner phone that's number they'd given Bruce rang.

Jason froze, Marinette jumped up and ran to get it.

He couldn't move as she walked over and put the phone on speaker, she grabbed his hand and he held onto her for dear life.

"We can both hear you now, Nightwing," she said.

There was a beat of silence on the other side of the line, "Can he- If you're- can I speak to him? In- um- private?"

Marinette looked at him, and he nodded. She took the phone off speaker and handed it to him.

He held it up to his ear and squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the circles Marinette were drawing on his hand with her thumb.

"He- hey Dick," he said. He heard his brother's breathing hitch, followed by a few seconds of silence.

"When did Batman find you?"

"25th May 2017,"

"Who's your favourite author?"

"Mary Shelley tied with Jane Austin,” he replied.

Dick stayed silent for too long and before he could stop himself the words fell from his mouth, desperation clinging to each syllable,” My favourite- my favourite playwright is Shakespeare, and my favourite school subject is English. If I could pick any day job it would be being a writer. My favourite colour is blue. Alfred has a secret fear of dolphins. You have had a ridiculously huge crush on Barbara for years and she had no idea, and I found a picture you drew under your old room's bedside table of you two getting married. I folded the picture up and hid it in a small box of memories I kept in the farthest corner of my closet under clothes I never wore. I have a round scar on the lower left side of my back where Willis Todd burned me with a cigarette when I was 5 that you don’t know I know you know about. My first Christmas at the manor you found me in the rose garden cutting a few off to take to my mother's grave and I was terrified that you would yell at me but instead you drove me to the graveyard and that was the day I decided to give you a real chance. I despise carrots but I eat them when Alfred makes them because I don't want to be a burden. And I-," he choked on a sob- when had he started crying?

He took a shuddering breath, and swallowed some of his tears, trying to make sure the words got out right, "I've missed you guys for every single second that I've been gone,"

His stomach tied itself up in a million knots as the silence stretched on. He could hear Dick moving the phone.

"Can I speak to Ladybug again please?" A female voice he didn't recognize said.

He handed the phone to Marinette and pressed his hand over his mouth to try to contain the sobs. He felt like a knife was twisting his stomach. He couldn't even hear what Marinette was saying. (I’m going through something irl and as a result u guys get to read angst by the bucketloads and I regret nothing)

Dick didn't want to talk to him. He should've just answered the question, he shouldn't have given all the extra information. Now they were never going to believe that it's really him and he would never see them again. Maybe they knew it was him and they just didn't want him-

"Jason, breathe with me," he heard Marinette's voice. His eyes latched onto hers like a lifeline, he became aware of her hands holding his.

She took his face in her hands and rested her forehead against his, in a motion so familiar that it came as easy as breathing. Well as easy as it usually was to breathe, right now excluded.

After he calmed down, she explained to him what they discussed. They would go to Gotham and meet and discuss things from there.

They wanted to meet him, but they still didn’t completely believe that it was him. He knew this for a fact because they had organized for M’gann to be there to confirm what he was saying. (Yassss M'gann my darling girl, I adore out lil Martian)

Marinette had suggested that they meet in the Batcave in an hour. Everyone had agreed. He assumed she had a plan as to why she wanted to wait. And he trusted her, so he waited for her to explain.

“I want to take the team, as backup. If you’re not comfortable with it, I want to at least take Luka. I would suggest just letting one of us wield is miraculous, but his Second Chance Timer limit is an hour so it would be most beneficial,” she said, gesturing with the hand that wasn’t holding his.

He nodded, sitting up straighter, but not releasing his grip on her hand, “We can bring the team, it’s smart to have backup. Besides if things go haywire, we have Luka to stop us.”

“Then let’s go get our team, love,”

(oh, I should probably mention that only he and LB knows everyone’s Identities. Or well rather no one knows like officially. Like everyone lowkey knows everyone's and a few of them have officially revealed themselves to each other, but not everyone is officially revealed to everyone and Mari and Jason are the only ones who aren’t officially revealed to anyone else, it’s kinda like the vibes of knowing your best friend is queer but not saying anything because they haven’t officially come out yet but like you know because they ain’t nearly as subtle as they think. Like that aesthetic.)

Anyway, 50 minutes later, they’re all gathered on the Eiffel Tower. Jason saw Marinette give Luka a nod to reset his timer. Suddenly he was enveloped in a light with a scratch that wasn’t there a few seconds before on his cheek, his expression quite annoyed.

Marinette immediately furrowed her brows, “How many times?”

Viperion shook his head, “Don’t worry, only one so far, but they try to restrain us. We’re gonna have to try plan b this time,” Everyone nodded, they waited two minutes before the agreed upon time and Mari opened a portal, but instead of appearing out in the opened, they hid in the shadowy parts of the cave.

Jason used his illusion to hide them from any observant eyes and they spread out a bit. He and Mari stayed together, Cloe flew to get a higher perspective and hide Viperion on one of the cave’s many ledges while Chat just moved a few feet away to have a slightly different hiding spot. Kagami dropped into her wind form and was flying above them to eavesdrop, she’d go to Luka if she heard anything of importance so he could go restart again.

They’d be one step ahead of the Bats no matter what they pulled, after all, they had all the time in the world.

They watched them all get into position as time neared. Jason didn’t know all the kids but recognized them from the news.

Dick, Bruce and M’gann stood near the bat computer with Barbara – who was in a wheelchair but that was a realization to deal with later- and Alfred.

The minute they were supposed to appear Jason cast another illusion to make it appear as though they had arrived. As expected, weapons and restraints immediately swarmed on them, each kid going for a different miraculous member. Too bad the images turned into orange dust as soon as they touched them.

The tiny one in the Robin uniform was red in the face and immediately started throwing a tantrum, “Father! They’ve tricked us-,”

Before he could get another word out, Chloe mass-venomed the horde of kids that we’re sent to attack them. He counted Black bat, Red Robin, Batgirl, Signal and Robin. They were all frozen in the middle of the room and before the others near the computer could move, Kagami trapped them in a (rather large) ring of fire. They had enough space to move around comfortably but if they tried approaching the edge the flames would grow larger.

Batman growled and his eyes searched through the cave, but he wouldn’t see them, no matter how hard he searched.

Jason stared at them. Dick was also searching the cave, but he seemed to look more hopeful than angry. Alfred seemed his usual calm self and Barbara was glancing around the cave more subtly. He didn’t bother looking at the rest of the batkids because M’gann was staring right at him, staying right where she was despite her ability to fly.

“Hi, Jason,” she softly spoke into his mind, he felt emotion overwhelm him, she’d known him before everything, and she knew it was him and it was a lot.

He knew she wasn’t probing around his brain for information like he was sure Bruce had asked her to, she didn’t have to, she knew it was him.

“Can you please tell me why we’re surrounded by fire?” she asked.

“We have a time traveller,” he replied.

“Ah, not a fan of Bruce’s restrain and question method, then? Can’t say I blame you, though I do think you’ve proven your point,”

“You really think it’s a good idea to release all of them?” he asked sceptically.

“… Good point. Maybe leave the brood in the middle in whatever frozen state they’re in and just let us in the fire out. They really just think it’s too good to be true… Jason, I won’t let them hurt you,”

“Okay,” he agreed softly. He turned to Marinette and gave her a slight nod. She returned with one of her own.

They walked over to Kagami’s ring of fire and he held their illusion until they were right in front of it. He held on to it for a bit to make sure everyone else would be able to stay in position. Chloe would keep the cavalry venomized and Chat and Viperion would stick to the shadows, unless necessary.

Jason dropped the illusion and watched four heads snap to him. M'gann simply gave him a soft smile and a nod of encouragement.

Kagami moved herself to stand next to Marinette and turned back into her human form, glaring at them with a silent warning.

Their attention was elsewhere, though. For a long time they just stood there and stared at one another in silence. They studied every part of one another they could see.

His eyes caught on Barbara’s wheelchair and he felt ready to destroy whatever put her there. She met his eyes and he held her gaze. She must’ve seen something there because she gave a small smile as she allowed a few tears to escape her eyes.

“Miss Martian?” Batman broke the silence like a cheap dinner plate, shattering it in a matter of seconds.

“It’s him,” M’gann answered without a hint of hesitation.

It was Alfred that moved first. He took a few hesitant steps towards him and before Jason knew it the man was in front of him. Alfred reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, desperately studying him for a moment before pulling him into a hug only Alfred could give.

It took Jason a moment to respond but when he did he returned it wholeheartedly.

After a few minutes they pulled apart and it took him a moment to realize that they’d both started crying. When he looked up Dick was only a few feet away. The moment Alfred stepped away Dick pulled him close.

“I thought you were dead, kid. I thought I’d never see you again, I thought I lost even more family. You were too young, too innocent. Fuck Jason,” Dick whispered, tightening his grip, “I’m so glad you’re alive,”

Jason held on to his brother and that night they cried about terrible endings and broken beginnings. They cried about lost time and found family.

It wasn’t the end yet, Hawkmoth was still terrorizing Paris and he had no idea what Bruce thought yet. There were all his other kids, his brothers and sisters. There were his teammates and the incredible story of how he’d been turned into a bee of all things.

They had a lot of catching up to do.

But just for a moment, a strand of a singular moment, he had his brother in his arms again and he was back home. His first real home.

Things weren’t perfect, as things rarely are but it didn’t matter. Because part of the beauty of life is how it builds and breaks us in a cycle of love and loss.

And that night they laughed with a lightness and joy none of them had fully been able to hold onto in years.

I hope you guys enjoyed!

This is lowkey totally gonna be the au I go to when I don’t know what to write lol, maybe write a bit of what happens afterwards or a part of everything during the year he lived with Mari them or just y’know shenanigans

#maribat #jason todd #marinette dupain cheng #jasonette #bee movie au #aka the deep dark hole within the deep dark hole #I've been working on this for a month #probably more #my brain held me captive with this au it held me at gunpoint and stalked me and wouldn't leave me alone until i wrote it #me: casually attempting to write anything else #my brain: *slaps me with ideas for this* NO #and the worst part is there's more that's not written just bull my brain came up with #and i can't believe I put angsty life philosophy writing in a CRACK AU #THIS IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF A CRACK AU #WHY #I AM SO INVESTED AND I'M MAD ABOUT IT #i enjoyed writing this and that fact alone infuriates me #blame moonie for this #and u know what blame bugabunny too #(fuck i hope i got their name right)#if it hadn't been for the two of them discussing this again i would've forgotten all about it and i woulda been allowed to write #my kaldur x marinette fic in peace. or my lila time loop fic. OR LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE #anyway i tried to make his outfit red hood esque but like only the parts i liked about it #aka the leather jacket and the combat boots #I don't know how i feel about the fact that i wrote this but what's done is done #*sigh*#jason x marinette #why me #nightwing fluff #but also angst

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dogcopter · 4 years

Text

Jane is Lore 2020

Ok, here’s the round up of the ghost part of the situation with @keepbeachcitysafe and @keepbeachcityweird.

Theory: Ronaldo’s girlfriend Jane is the key to figuring out Rose Quartz is not gone, largely via a constellation of background clues. If that sounds ridiculous, I understand. I’m Ronaldo. Actually I’m not Ronaldo, but hopefully I’ll have a post about him too soon. I hope we can all have fun together tho

This post is very, very long and involves a lot of images. It will be confusing at first, but please entertain the thought and keep reading, and I hope it clicks into place. I may need to update it later.

Three sections for supporting evidence:

1. Restaurant Wars, Jane, KBCW/KBCS blogs’ interaction & contents

2. Astral projection/ghosts/fusions

3. Dogcopter secrets

Restaurant Wars Saga & Jane’s appearances

So Ronaldo has a blog at @keepbeachcityweird - he also published a book based on his blog called Keep Beach City Weird: You Can’t Hide the Truth!!!, which is available for purchase.

On April 23, 2014, Lion 2: The Movie airs. Jane appears for the first time working the ticket booth at the movie theater and sees Lion and the kids fight a killer robot. Dogcopter 3 is playing at the theater.

April 23, 2014, Ronaldo at Keep Beach City Weird also posts about seeing Dogcopter 3 at the movie theater, where the parking lot is a mess, presumably from Steven, Connie and Lion’s robot training fight.

He mentions “First of all, it’s a huge mistake to turn the last Dogcopter book into THREE movies.”, but that’s less relevant to this particular post. The important thing is that he, like Connie, follows Dogcopter, who’s also associated with Jane. (We’ll get to Dogcopter’s appearances in SU in the last part of this once the context is established)

Ronaldo’s posts in general document specific events and details in his home Beach City, but that’s another post entirely.

Exactly a year later, Ronaldo on April 23, 2015 posted about receiving a mysterious letter, which might be from Jane because (beneath a great deal of smudging) it appears to call Ronaldo the CUTEST GUY EVER! (This isn’t crucial or anything, just noting it as one of our first Jane points).

I GOT A LETTER TODAY!!! But for some reason it was all wet and I can’t even tell what it says. Is it a love letter? Is it a death threat? Please tell me! I need to know if I should lock my doors or open my heart!

Jane also appears in Beach City Drift. After Beach City Drift, keepbeachcitysafe posts an episode reaction blog, on July 22 2016, and takes special notice of Jane.

Hey did you guys notice that girl that keeps appear. We saw her when Steven took Connie to the movies and now she’s here. I wonder if she’s involved in something. Hmmmm. So Stevonnie raced Kevin down the hill in his Himitsu X12, that’s secret in Japanese.

(Kevin’s Himitsu X12 is his car, in the middle there. We’ll come back to this and what KBCS means in a second.)

July 25 2016, Restaurant Wars airs, the third of Jane’s four appearances in SU. In this ep, Jane comes a long way to return Ronaldo’s Koala Princess DVDs, and catches Ronaldo with Kiki and is upset.

KBCS posts another episode reaction blog, pays attention to Jane again, and says they plan to message Ronaldo.

Ronaldo says he can’t do it because of his girlfriend. Ooo, he has a girlfriend, that’s pretty cool, you just know whats gonna happen next.

Ok so, Ronaldo’s, GIRLFRIEND, (imagine me saying that in slow motion) showed up at the worst possible moment.

Everything was back to normal. Except poor Ronaldo, I should sent him a letter to cheer him up. Seen ya next week.

Almost immediately the KBCS and KBCW blogs play out a little interaction online:

Ronaldo goes through some stuff.

No post today. If anyone needs me I’ll be at Brooding Hill… where I’ll be CRYING. I usually cry at Crying Canyon, but it’s closed right because of some flash flood warnings.

Then Ronaldo posts KBCS’s letter.

Note how KBCW caps this message so the name is clearly visible? It’s referring to Ronaldo’s bio:

It’s not very cheering...but things work out shortly thereafter. Jane likes one of Ronaldo’s posts and all seems well.

I think it’s going to work out you guys. Thanks for all your support.

After this, Ronaldo doesn’t post again until Rocknaldo several months later, and one last time after publishing his book.

That’s April 18 2017. The KBCW tumblr is never updated again. KBCS’s final post is not long after, Jul 4, 2017.

Finally, Jane makes a cameo alongside Ronaldo in the very last scene of Steven Universe Future, “The Future.”

Koala Princess, Astral Projection and Psychic Ghosts

So some interesting patterns come up when you connect the two blogs, the clues associated with Jane, and some understanding of Steven’s powers. Let’s revisit Keep Beach City Weird, a Ronaldo’s primary blog, and Keep Beach City Safe, which contains mysteries too big for this simple Dogcopter/Jane-hime lore post.

Keep Beach City Weird - Ran from September 2013 to April 2017, with a lot of posts made in October 2015 and July 2016.

Keep Beach City Safe - Ran from June 2015 to July 2017, with most posts in 2016 of course.

Let’s look at a timeline of posts. I’m going to call out things that we’ll connect to the Jane lore at the end.

Keep Beach City Weird: Ronaldo’s blog

Nov 1, 2013, days before Steven Universe first airs: KBCW’s first post is all about Astral Projection.

Astral Projection! The ability to travel outside your physical body and into other planes of existence!

I began to feel lightheaded and before I knew it, I was floating above my body. Amazing! I walked out onto the boardwalk in my new ASTRAL FORM, and you know what the weird thing was? Nobody even said hello to me. I was COMPLETELY INVISIBLE! I mean, usually nobody really notices me, but this was a different kind of not being noticed. This was not being noticed on another plane of existence - so I didn’t feel bad about it.Anyway, after being ignored in the arcade and Fish Stew Pizza, I got bored and I went back to the fry shop to re-merge with my body.

Astral projection is a power Steven demonstrates a number of times, and you’ll see among these posts that certain powers of Steven involving this stuff are called out by the blog.

Connie: What? Where are you? How are you...? Steven: I’m not sure, but I think it’s a classic psychic ghost type situation. Connie: Ah, of course! So, what’s the plan?

from Reunited

Steven: Oh man. I fell asleep and had this weird dream. I opened the door and Lapis was there, and- Pearl: Well, that doesn’t make any sense. Lapis is fused with Jasper at the bottom of the ocean. Steven: You’ve never had a dream before, huh? Pearl: Uh, I don’t think so.

from Chille Tid

August 28, 2014, Joking Victim, Ronaldo posts about ghosts. And an arsonist from about 150 years ago.

September 04 2014, Steven and the Stevens, Ronaldo posts about "cross dimensional travelers”

And all the cross dimensional time travelers I know don’t want to go on the record about their experiences.

Not mentioning posts that don’t mention ghosts/astral projection/dimensions in some capacity, but in realtime Ronaldo liveblogs in response to episode events.

Ronaldo also answers some fan asks. On October 31 2014 after Keep Beach City Weird he answers this question about floaters with “BACTERIAL GHOSTS” in all caps, this one about his first encounter with the supernatural (the events shown in Horror Club, which aired February 12, 2015)

Nov 2014, Ronaldo posts twice about Watermelon Stevens and a review of the anime Soul Blaster, “Like every anime, Soul Blaster is about a high school student. Our hero is a cool dude, with even cooler hair named Kyosuke. He battles rogue spirits with the help of his Soul Blaster - which happens to be powered by the spirit of his deceased younger brother, Kettaro. “

On December 4, 2014 Ronaldo posts about Koala Princess, who will become important in this post when we get back to Dogcopter and Jane. Koala Princess is repeatedly used as a stand-in for talking about Steven’s journey. In this post Ronaldo says:

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, so I just finished the final episode of Koala Princess and I don’t want to get too emotional on you guys but I CAN’T STOP CRYING! Koala Princess goes on a walkabout and enters dreamtime and finally MEETS HER KOALA MOTHER FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! SLKDJFSDJ:FS

I’ve got so many feels! These feels are the real deals! On wheels! WHAT AM I SAYING?! I’M GOING CRAZY!!!

Lion 3: Straight to Video aired on the same day as Ronaldo’s post. In this episode Steven meets Dogcopter in a dream, and then sees his mother Rose Quartz for the first time - she speaks to him via a VHS tape.

After Alone Together, Ronaldo posts about Stevonnie, who is a fusion. He also gets stuck under a fridge for a bit after Future Vision in January 2015.

And I want TO GET OUT FROM UNDER THIS FRIDGE!

He posts like five times about it in the same day because he’s freaking out.

And also I want my body to be shot into space with a print version of my blog so an alien civilization can find me reconstruct my body and worship me.

On February 19 2015 after Winter Forecast, he posts about using time travel to fix bad decisions:

Sometimes I think about all the bad decisions I’ve made and how they’ve affected my life, and I wish I could go back in time and change them. But unless I can find a way to break into the Pentagon and steal a time bike, I’m just stuck with having regrets.

After Political Power Ronaldo claims glowsticks are filled with ghost blood.

Anyway, then stuff happens.

January 4 2016, after The Answer, Ronaldo posts about seeing Dogcopter 4 and shares the poster for it.

One interesting thing about the poster is that if you invert it and mess with the contrast a bit, a strange diagram appears on the left. A true mystery.

And after months of avoiding and spoilers or teasers or trailers, I was in line for Dogcopter 4, and then some dummy walking out of the theater TOTALLY SPOILED EVERYTHING and was like, “I can’t believe that Dogcopter’s parents are actually cats.”

Coming back to Dogcopter in a minute, but these are relevant details.

Dogcopter dies defending the planet but then he comes back to life because he’s actually part cat and cats have 9 lives.

On Jan 5, Steven’s Birthday, Ronaldo posts about celebrating his birthday on a different date every year.

Every year, I celebrate my birthday on a completely different day. Why? To keep my birthdate a SECRET so that no clandestine government agencies can steal my identity!

July 2016, the saga with Jane and KBCS above happens. When he’s sad about Jane breaking up with him, the same day Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service comes out (in which Steven astral projects into Kiki’s dream), he listens to sad music.

Ugh, I wish I had some sad music to listen to at work. All I have is a playlist of video game soundtracks and some EVP recordings of ghost hauntings. I guess ghosts are sad. I’ll just listen to those.

But if you’re feeling happy, I do suggest listening to the “Go-Go Gorilla Go-Go Kart Racing” soundtrack. Some solid 16-bit J-reggae.

This post may partly be a reference to the Sadie Killer song G-G-G-Ghost, which is performed in The Big Show and wouldn’t air for a bit, but is also astral projection related.

Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me? I think I might be A g-g-g-ghost. Can't you see that I exist? And I don't need an exorcist To let me out Look at me and I'll appear Why can't you see that I'm right here? That I'm right here? Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me? I think I might be A g-g-g-ghost. I'm calling you from the other side

Once Ronaldo has gone through grief and anger, he resorts to begging her to come back. This post is from July 28, the day Alone at Sea aired in which Jasper begs Lapis to return.

Much like Koala Princess’ vision in the Eucalyptus Jungle in Season 5, Episode 13 what you saw on the Boardwalk the other day was not what it seemed. I was only pretending to date Kiki to defend my family’s honor, just as the Kanga-ronin did in Season 1, Episode 3!

Here is another Koala Princess reference. There are a couple SU references in the episode numbers in this post.

The events of Season 5, Episode 13 of KP was not what it seemed: for Steven Universe, this is Your Mother and Mine, in which Garnet tells a story told to her by Rose Quartz. It later turns out to be a false origin story to cover the truth that Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond.

Kanga-ronin pretended at something to defend family honor in Season 1, Episode 3, which in SU is Cheeseburger Backpack - where Steven buys a novelty backpack so he can carry things on missions to be useful for the gems, fails his first mission and pretends he’s fine. The events of this ep are later referenced in The Test.

Finally, Koala Princess’ vision in the Eucalyptus Jungle is a reference to Stevonnie’s vision in Jungle Moon, which is Stevonnie’s first interaction with Pink Diamond via a memory dream. In this dream, all was not as it seemed either.

Then the KBCW blog doesn’t post until Feb 2017, after Rocknaldo. A couple ghost and dream-y quotes from here:

In my searches for THE TRUTH, I’ve done a lot of listening. I’ve listened to haunted houses to hear ghosts from other dimensions. I’ve listened to radio signals from the cosmos for signs of alien life.

I’ve also learned that HUMANS NEED TO SLEEP. I didn’t sleep for 48 hours and I PASSED OUT FOR DAYS.

Ronaldo’s final post is an ad for his book, which comes out during a hiatus, and he references Koala Princess again:

I did have a little help from some fellow truth-stigators I met on a Koala Princess forum, Ben Levin and Matt Burnett, but most of the work was definitely done by ME!

Now let’s look at Keep Beach City Safe.

Keep Beach City Safe: [???]’s blog

For KBCS, I’m only going to skim to address ghost/astral projection related content that comes back to the business with Jane, Dogcopter, Koala Princess and Rose. The rest of this blog is a little too big for right now.

It’s interesting that KBCS seems to have mostly flown under the radar, but between the Jane arc and a couple other things I believe it to be legit. Suffice to say I’m treating it as real and you will see why in a minute.

For KBCS I’ll mostly mention which episode a post is associated with, but not the date like with Ronaldo’s.

KBCS’s reaction blog to Nightmare Hospital includes a couple relevant lines:

Where was the Gem M.? I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around! It was mom!

Don’t tell me It’s on the other side of the hall corner. That would mean it saw mo- Connie’s mom!

KBCS posts a blog between Too Far and The Answer, in which they review a number of events. (They post another blog about fusions in which they describe Garnet and Stevonnie’s components as well)

During the movie the TV just shut down and they were being chased around by a “ghost”. It was actually a gem stuck inside the house, making the house seem like it was possessed.

They also get pretty excited about Steven’s birthday.

Only a few more minutes until Steven’s Birthday!

Eeeeh! Only a few mins left until midnight. We finally get to learn about Garnet’s past! Are guys happy, I know I am. I can’t even express how happy I feel, but I’ll try. And I will not act crazy while doing it, Imma keep it cool. So it’s like Peace and Love had a son, and his name was Steven! Then Steven fused with Connie, who was the daughter of Happiness. And they formed Stevonnie, who was made of everything right within the universe!

On Steven’s Birthday they also post about the Dogcopter 4 movie.

I’m gonna be a Smart Spoiler and drop hints in my post for you guess. Only those who have watched it will notice the clues. Yep, watching it 9 times.

This clearly references Ronaldo’s post about Dogcopter having nine lives, but KBCS is a little more considerate about spoilers.

In KBCS’s “It Could’ve Been Great” post, they’re still talking about Steven’s birthday. There’s a promo image attached as well.

To start things off I just wanted to say: I did see Steven turn into a baby? And I would also like to say: DID YOU SEE STEVEN TURN INTO A BABY!?!?

So, by now your probably wondering what the second image is aren’t you? We clearly it’s a pic of Rose holding a cupcake candle.

We, here at Keep Beach City Safe, thought that Steven would’ve liked to have his mom at his birthday party. Happy Birthday from all of us at KBCS. Hope you like it.

Future Vision reference. (Some of this is less relevant to the Jane thing but I’m pulling quotes that are related to fusion and stuff in the hopes it gets clearer)

This reminds me of the time that Garnet gave Stevens her future vision. I don’t know what happens exactly, but I think you see what’s going to happen in the future hence the name future vision. Being able to see into the future would be awesome, yet terrified at same time.

There’s a great post about Pie Day - in fact, KBCS posts about Pie Day a few times. They call out Pearl, too, which reminds me of a certain prolific fandom video editor’s handle.

You know who else knows about Pi. Pearl, but also Peridot.

Pearl Doesn’t Like Pie. Happy Pie Day!

This is not a good photo of Pear let’s see if we can find a better one. Now that’s better.

Sorry for the tangent. Let’s talk koalas now.

KBCS posts about The New Lars. They have thoughts about Steven’s ability to hop into other bodies, namely the question of whether Rose could do this as well.

Steven is worried that Lars isn’t being truthful about his feelings. So through his dreams, Steven jumps into Lar’s body, and trys to make his life better. But he only makes things worse.

Steven somehow possessed Lars’s body through his dreams. He’s done it before and he’ll do it again, we have a word for it now: Dream Possession. But he can also enter dreams.

He did it with Lapis, the Watermelon Stevens, and now Lars. That’s one gem, one sentient plant, and one human. Well with lapis he was merely communicating with her. This, new power, is seems to activates itself whenever Steven wants to help someone, but can’t because something getting in the way. Could this be a power passed down from Rose, or is this a power he himself posses?

#koala vs sloth

in The New Lars, koalas come up twice. Koalas in SU are associated with Steven’s astral projection powers. Remember how Koala Princess met her mother in the dreamscape?

Steven: For your consideration...The koala, a marsupial from the forests of Australia, and the sloth, hailing from the forests of South America. Who should be crowned the king of the "Hanging Around Doing Nothing" mammals!?

Steven in Lars’ body: Whatcha doing? Hanging out? Buck: Yeah. Steven: That's cool. Would you say you hang out more like koalas or sloths? Uh, I'm asking for Steven.

Steven: Um... I'm really, really sorry about yesterday. I got you a card, it's got a koala and a sloth.

From The New Lars. Steven references koalas three times.

KBCS gets to Beach City Drift. They take notice of Jane and of Kevin’s car.

Hey did you guys notice that girl that keeps appear. We saw her when Steven took Connie to the movies and now she’s here. I wonder if she’s involved in something. Hmmmm.

So Stevonnie raced Kevin down the hill in his Himitsu X12, that’s secret in Japanese.

So while we’re back on the subject of Jane, here’s something interesting about Dogcopter and the Himitsu X12. They both show up in advertisements together in the background of Empire City.

Mr Greg

Same Old World

This is what KBCS is talking about - Dogcopter has a secret.

For Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service, KBCS has more to say about dreams.

She has a nightmare and Steven, coincidentally, falls asleep after eating and enters Kiki’s dream. Now Steven The Dream Warrior, must help Kiki battle her dream, and finally end this nightmare once and for all.

Steven, who for some reason keeps going into people’s dreams, goes into Kiki’s dream.

Steven fought for about week, and he’s was tired by day four. And we know from experience that a sleepless Steven, is a cranky Steven.

This is the same power Steven used in Chille Tid. and look who showed up again?

After Monster Reunion airs, KBCS posts a liveblog and includes a far-fetched accusation that Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond.

Think about it! A Diamond should have access to all gem controlled tech, right. And if Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond, which she is, then she should be able to too, right. And Steven has Rose’s gem. So now Steven can access gem tech. And one more thing to prove this theory once and for all.

But there’s one thing that doesn’t add up. Rose Quartz… is a Quartz. How could she be a Diamond?????? Maybe I’m wrong, she could have been just working along side Pink Diamond. Maybe this just a crackpot theory about the impossible. I don’t think gems can turn into different gems? who knows, I guess we’ll find out sooner or later.

When KBCS gets to Crack the Whip, they take note of Lion and tag him thrice:

Crack the Whip! Is it just me or is that foreshadowing?

Oh, did I mention that Lion was there. He was just there, when Connie opened the door, he walked up and just started hanging. It was so cool! It was like, Just Lion Things 2! So the snack break, that takes the whole day, ends at the beach, where the idea originally began.

Amethyst faces off Jasper, gem to gem, while Steven and Connie, and don’t forget Lion, fight the corrupted gem.

Lion was keeping the Gem Monster busy while all of this was happening. I was so stunned when Steven and Connie fused, without doing a fusion dance! How well they worked, together, they rode on Lion, and defeated Jasper, and poofed the Gem Monster all at the same time!!!

#just lion things 2 #lion fights #lion still fights

There’s also a weird Google Slides slideshow connected to the KBCS account, which includes this image featuring Lion, Tiny Floating Whale, (and Connie and Greg) and the word TRUE with Steven’s affirmative!

More Koala Princess

Two more Koala Princess references - although only one is immediately relevant -

In Gemcation, Ronaldo keeps texting Steven about Koala Princess. Steven’s lockscreen is a selfie with him and Lion.

Also, as a sidenote, Koala Princess is implicated in sneople trolls on anime message boards.

Dogcopter

These are just the Dogcopter appearances (Thanks to SU wiki as well as my brain) Dogcopter fights robots in at least one timeline, and the book is allegedly really long. Bold Dogcopters are the pink dogcopter, everything else is an ad or grey.

Lars and the Cool Kids - Poster

Lion 2 - The movie they all go see.

Lion 3 - Gives Steven advice.

Chille Tid - Shows Steven how to find Lapis. Meows. (Dogcopter’s parents are cats.)

Same Old World & Mr. Greg - Advertisement

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service - flies Steven away.

In Dreams and Growing Pains (Note this is grey Dogcopter) - Flies away in Stefan’s nightmare, proposes to Drew the driver (or at least offers them something) in the Dogcopter 6 Till Death Do Us Bark I Now Pronounce You Man and Woof trailer.

Snow Day - Pupcopter, a spinoff for babies.

And for Steven’s Birthday - Connie points out a Dogcopter constellation.

Astral Projection

Another quick summary. I’ve written a lot on this psychic ghost stuff so check my blog if you want the tags, idrc. Summary of astral projection powers Steven has shown:

Leaving his body (Reunited, Escapism)

Possessing other bodies (New Lars, Escapism, SWI)

Traveling to others’ dreams (Kiki’s Pizza, Chille Tid)

Interacting with fusion components within the fusion’s mind (Chille Tid, Mindful)

Regarding KBCS’s question of whether Rose could have done this, it doesn’t seem impossible - and as of Fragments and Homeworld Bound, we know that Gems don’t die when they are killed. (Lol.) That is, the personality/soul can appear in the same gem if it’s shattered and repaired. And Steven’s mom’s gem is perfectly intact, inside him.

Literally what is the point of all this

So after KBCS and KBCW spent so long talking about astral projection, ghosts, dreams, fusions, etc etc. they never actually got to the point - just pointed us in the direction of a bunch of clues that

Rose Quartz isn’t gone.

Obviously. She’s in his gem in him, like Lapis and the mirror, or the lighthouse gem. She uses astral projection to help Steven in his dreams as well as see him in Rose’s room, like other fusions speak in the mindscape. (There’s a lot more to this but this is enough to ask anyone to wrap their head around atm)

She also interacts with him through other bodies, the same way Steven takes over Lars’ body, or the Watermelon Stevens.

Remember this?

We, here at Keep Beach City Safe, thought that Steven would’ve liked to have his mom at his birthday party.

Who came to Steven’s birthday in which Connie points out that Dogcopter constellation?

Who gave Steven advice when he wished he could talk to his mom?

Who showed Steven where to find the tape?

Who else could have asked Steven, “What do you want” in Susan Egan’s voice?

(Why did they choose to hire Susan Egan to voice a cameo in Under the Knife in the first few seconds of Fusion Cuisine, where she says “It’s my son!” while Lion is onscreen)

Or reassured him that Rose’s tape was telling him the truth?

Who first brought him to Pink Diamond’s moon base?

Who knew where Rose’s armory was and how to train with it? (Note the giant penny)

Who showed Steven the location of Pink’s fallen palanquin?

Who found Rose’s lost scabbard?

and knew where Pearl would run to when she’s upset?

Who (reluctantly) brought Steven to the landfill and Pink Diamond’s ship?

Who showed him how to find Malachite?

Twice?

Who showed him how Pink Diamond tried to stop the Earth’s colonization, and who to ask for the truth?

Who tried to entertain him on Mask Island when he was trapped on Homeworld?

And then rescued him from the open sea?

Who showed Stevonnie the password to Yellow Diamond’s moon base?

Much like Koala Princess’ vision in the Eucalyptus Jungle in Season 5, Episode 13 what you saw on the Boardwalk the other day was not what it seemed.

So yeah Rose is Lion 2020. Thanks for reading this extremely long nonsense.

Also thanks to @babybeetlebongos for both mindscape lore and fixing Ronaldo’s cheek in the banner image, lol. I made a Twitter thread about this as well (and the more in depth Lion and astral projection theory threads are quoted at the top, if you need them. the #mindscape deeplore 2020 tag/tags on this post have stuff too.)

#steven universe theory #steven universe future #su theory #steven universe #rose is lion 2020 #mindscape deeplore 2020 #jane lore 2020 #kbcs lore #dogcopter #lion the mood #rosedemption 2020 #would you believe this isn't even the deep part of the rabbit hole??? im tired tho #i hope i left enough info for others to get into KBCS if anyone cares #i love this fool rose quartz

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broadwaycantdie · 4 years

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Race’s Quarantine Journal

( Race’s POV ) + ( Diary ) + ( High School AU )

a/n: aka me projecting

sorry this is shitty, i’m just feeling a lot rn and i wanted to get it all out

warnings: mental health, mentions of self harm and death, language

March 10, 2020

Everything has been crazy. People keep talking about some virus going around. It’s probably not too bad, I’ve had the flu before.

March 13, 2020

My school just sent me an email saying we can’t go back until April? Huh? Well at least I can finally get a break. School has been kicking my ass. I need a nice little vacation. I’ll relax and hang out with my friends. A quick little month long break ain’t too bad my senior year.

March 18, 2020

You’re telling me that my teachers are still giving work on this break? And they want me to video chat with them? Hell no. This is my vacation. I’ll just catch up when we go back to school.

March 21, 2020

So my parents aren’t letting me leave the house? It can’t be that bad. Maybe I should do my own research cause there is no way that all these shops should be closing and that I can't leave. I don't know what I’ll do if I’m stuck in this house for a month. All my friends can't leave either. Maybe we can just video chat I guess. I’ll see them soon enough anyway.

March 31, 2020

I’ve done so much research. Everything is so bad. So many people are dying. No one is doing anything about it. Why the fuck isn't anyone doing anything about it? Why are people still going out? Nothing is open. Go home.

April 1, 2020

I woke up today hoping this all was a crazy April Fool’s prank.

I wish I was right.

April 6, 2020

I was supposed to go back to school today.

Instead I got another email saying the closure got extended.

I don’t know when we’ll be able to go back.

April 10, 2020

I’ve been picking up a lot of hobbies.

Mostly I’ve been dancing. It calms my nerves. I’m going crazy in this house.

I tried painting but that got messy. I tried reading some books but words have never been the easiest things for me. I tried playing guitar with an old one I found in the garage but it hurts my fingers too much.

I’ll stick with dancing.

April 15, 2020

I don’t know what else to do. I’ve redecorated my bedroom 3 times and my parents told me if they hear me moving furniture in the middle of the night one more time they’d make me take everything down.

I feel trapped.

April 16, 2020

Maybe I should try to write in here more. That’s the only thing I can think to do. I could do a “what I did today” or a mood tracker. I might actually do the mood tracker but I know all well I won’t do it everyday. Maybe weekly? Maybe every couple days? Maybe whenever I feel like it?

Okay....today I feel: Bored.

April 22, 2020

It's Earth Day. One of my favorite days.

I hope that with the world shut down the Earth can breathe a little easier today.

Today I feel: Hopeful.

April 25, 2020

Today would’ve been my senior prom.

I actually had a date and everything, for the first time. How great would that have been?

I’m not gonna write a lot today. Too sad.

May 1, 2020

I can’t do this much longer. Everything sucks and I feel so stuck. I haven't left my house, I haven't seen my friends, my family is driving me crazy, my sleep schedule is totally fucked, I haven’t been this depressed since middle school, and I can’t do anything about any of it. It fucking sucks.

May 3, 2020

Let’s play a fun game. Okay so I’ll start with 10 fingers up and if this thing has happened put a finger down.

Okay so put a finger down if you really liked someone and you had a good thing going with them but you let the worst person in your life convince you that you shouldn't be with them and that they were the problem so you had to hurt the person you really liked to make the worst person feel better cause they manipulated you and took control of your brain and then the person you liked ended up dating one of your friends and you couldn't even be mad at them cause they were so happy and cute and you were happy for them both but then they broke up and you don’t know if it’s cool to talk to the guy you liked cause your friend is the ex and you haven't talked to them in a long time and they probably hate you cause you hurt him and he wouldn't understand cause your excuse is so shitty and you guys are now so different and life is just really hard and you think about what y’all had and miss it so much cause it was so good and thats all you want, to be loved, and you know it’ll never be the same so you don't even bother.

I’m down to 9 fingers.

God I fucking miss him.

May 4, 2020

For a long time I’ve convinced myself I don’t deserve love and I really think it’s true. That’s all I’ve ever wanted but I’ve done so many bad things what if no one wants me?

Everyone hates me. My friends only pretend to like me. I don’t understand why someone would want to be friends with someone like me. I’m so difficult.

May 6, 2020

It feels like I dropped out.

I’m not doing any school work. I missed my prom. I probably won't have a graduation ceremony. Worst part is, I didn’t drop out. I can’t just move on. I have to just sit with this.

I guess it's not hitting me as hard as some other people because I didn’t even plan to be alive this long so I was already prepared to miss them. It’ll probably hit me soon tho. I just won't let myself breakdown. Not yet.

May 8, 2020

Can I just say something?

I’m so fucking tired of being alone.

Not just cause quarantine, like in general. I want to be loved but I have to fuck everything up all the time, God why am I so stupid all the time?

And I don’t mean my friends just saying “oh I love you!” like no, thats nice, but at the end of the day that’s not the kind of love thats going to marry me, or hold me when I can’t sleep at night, or cook dinner with me.

I’m so tired of being undeserving and undesirable. What is wrong with me? What does everyone hate so much?

If I’m being honest, I cry every night because of this loneliness I feel. I just want it to stop.

May 10, 2020

My panic attacks are getting worse. For no reason.

I panic over things that 3 months ago I would've just pushed away. But now this isolation and fear is making everything so bad.

I started seeing things again. I started picking and twitching and shaking again. I haven't been this bad in a long time. How long before the thoughts come back? The urges? Will I be able to stop them this time? I hope so. I really hope.

May 13, 2020

So I’ve officially reverted back into my childhood state of watching old cartoons all day for any sort of serotonin. It's working a little ngl.

May 15, 2020

I picked up my yearbook today. I drove to my school and they handed it to me through a window. Can’t get it signed, can’t see anyone, can’t do anything.

I don't know if I have the strength to look through it right now knowing I might never see these kids again.

May 17, 2020

I had one of the worst episodes in a while today.

I saw this video and I don’t wanna talk about it cause I don't want to think about it but it made me twitch and shake for so long.

I couldn’t stop. I was so scared. I picked at my skin for a long time. I couldn't open my eyes. My head hurts from shaking for so long.

I just want to go to sleep.

May 20, 2020

My parents are so clueless. Do they really not know? Do they choose to look past it? Do they know and not want to say anything?

Can they not see that I’m not fucking okay?

There is no way they don’t notice how I twitch and shake and pick at my skin. They can’t ignore my tear soaked face almost daily. They might not see when I wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and desperately try to calm myself. But they never ask me if I’m okay.

The answer is “no” if they ever decide to ask.

May 23, 2020

I’m official a high school graduate!

Though it doesn't really feel like it.

I drove to the school and picked up my diploma and that was it. A masked “congratulations” and a piece of paper and that was that.

Congrats to me though. I guess.

May 27, 2020

I feel so empty.

Actually, I don't feel anything.

I just sit here. I don't remember when I last ate. I haven’t gotten out of bed. Haven’t watched anything. Just thinking.

Today is not a good day.

I don't want to be alive today.

I just hope the urges stay at bay. I don't know if I can stop myself this time.

May 30, 2020

I wish I was dead.

Everything I love is being taken away from me.

I want to kill myself. I haven’t felt like this in years. Everything is only getting worse and I can't stop it.

I want to but I can’t. If I try and fail thats selfish cause I’d be taking up space in the hospital for people who actually need it.

I’m useless. I’m powerless. I want out.

May 31, 2020

I’m so sick. I’m so weak. My head is killing me.

I’m not sick, I just feel shitty. Not an uncommon feeling.

I don’t know how much longer I can fight off the urges.

I’m sorry.

I wish I was sick. It would make this whole thing easier. I feel like this will never end. I want out.

I’m sorry.

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jadeile-writes · 5 years

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Fanfic Progress Update 56

Hi, my quarantined friends and enemies! Let’s take a look at my Fanfic Progress Update, since it’s Saturday! Stay tuned to the end of this post for a spoiler-y glimpse into the next chapter of Adventure gone Mini AND Hah! Our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest.

Current WIPs:

Adventure gone Mini

Fandom: Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild / The Minish Cap

Summary: Sidon is given his very own Sheikah Slate, the first replica Purah has managed to make, and sets out to travel with Link with the intention of registering warp points for convenient travel in the future. However, when a malfunction shrinks them down to the size of bugs, and they meet little people called the Minish, they have to change their plans from “fun adventuring” to “getting out of this mess”. Not that those two have to exclude one another. Link/Sidon.

Progress: Chapter 36 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 18th of March. Chapter 37 is about 1/3 done and is scheduled for 8th of April.

I post a new chapter every three weeks on Wednesdays. These updates always include a sneak-peek for the next chapter, slowly getting longer over the three weeks waiting period.

—–

That month of the year

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: Every year, for a single month, the Radio Demon gets… emotional. His antlers are in velvet and he’s pumped full of hormones that make him behave quite unlike himself: suddenly, everywhere he looks, instead of seeing fellow demons all he sees are helpless little fawns that nobody is taking a proper care of! Solution? Adopt them.

Husk, Niffty, Camille, Honey, and the rest of the older Fawns put up with their Mom/Dad’s nonsense every year, but this time there’s a new, rotten apple in their midst and they have to protect Alastor from this crook. Without Alastor knowing about it. As Husk likes to put it: “This is fucking bullshit. …I mean fudgy nonsense.”

(Crack taken seriously. Gen)

Progress: The first two chapters are finished! The third chapter hasn’t been started yet. I want to have at least three chapters written before posting anything, preferably more than that because I don’t know how long this fic is gonna be. I can tell it’s longer than the originally planned five chapters tho, since we’ve barely gotten the ball rolling with the first two chapters!

This fic is co-authored by Maximillian!

—–

Hah! Our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: This is not a stand-alone story! This is a oneshot/drabble collection in the universe of “Shit, the Radio Demon is a part of my afterlife”. Read the main story before bothering with this one.

I decided to give my readers a chance to throw Radiohusk prompts at me, and had the Afterlife-verse as an option to set the stories in. Everyone liked that, so this fic is now a thing. Enjoy the extra mischief from these two dorks!

Progress: Chapter 7 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 20th of March. Chapter 8 will be posted on 24th of March, and chapter 9 on 27th of March. This story will have at least nine more chapters, but who even knows at this point. Additional prompts are not accepted at this moment.

This fic receives a new chapter every Tuesday and Friday. I’ll post a sneak-peek for Tuesday’s chapter on these updates, and one for Friday’s chapter in a separate post on Wednesday.

—–

Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to someday:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

Rolling with it (Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild)

Possibly worth staying for (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

Experiment in Romance (Hazbin Hotel)

—–

That’s it for the WIPs! Here is the promised sneak-peeks into Adventure gone Mini and Hah! Our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest. (Note: the text may end up slightly different in the fic itself due to more editing happening before publishing). Enjoy!

Mini

Misteri led the two of them through the Toadstool Town, as it was called. The town wasn't very large, especially compared to the capital, which was the last city they had been to, but she used the little time it took for them to walk to the town hall to animatedly talk about her home. She explained how they, indeed, used magic to keep the toadstools preserved, and in some cases even alive if it was known that the building would need more space in the future – the Minish who wanted large families would start with a small house and then let it grow bigger as they had more children. It was very fascinating and practical, and Sidon looked like he wanted to stop and observe the growth with his own two eyes, as silly as that was.

Also, turned out that the local Minish were called Mist Minish, while the "regular" ones were Forest Minish. Rumor had it there were Mountain Minish around the mountains, and Field Minish in the Hyrule Fields. Misteri didn't know if there were Desert Minish in the Gerudo lands, Water Minish in the Zora Kingdom, Jungle Minish in the Faron region, and maybe some specific kind of Minish around the Hylian and Sheikah towns, but assumed it to be so. Link suddenly felt like their mini adventure was woefully inadequate now, since there was so much more to the Minish world to be seen all over Hyrule. He wanted to explore all of it one day. Maybe with Sidon, maybe with Zelda, maybe with both.

Bushwa

Husker was having a conversation with Angel Dust again. He had been doing that in increasing amounts lately, especially compared to how he had actively pushed him – everyone, really – away on every possible manner not that long ago. Alastor's grin sharpened and his eyes narrowed as he watched them from the other side of the room, ignoring the company he was with. He was itching to magic his way over there and insert himself into their conversation. Subtly push Angel out of it somewhere down the line and have Husker's undivided attention on himself, and most importantly away from Angel. He had been feeling this way on a few occasions recently, and it was disconcerting. He didn't like it at all. Alastor felt… threatened by Angel's newly found presence in Husker's life. And he knew why, as much as he hated to admit it.

It was a well known fact that Angel was interested in Husker in a romantic manner, to some extent. He had made that abundantly clear over the months; even Alastor had been able to see it despite his slowness at recognizing these things. Now, Husker was Alastor's sheik, and hadn't shown any interest in Angel at any point during their stay at the hotel. But, on a theoretical level, Angel had more to offer to Husker than Alastor did if the two of them were to pursue a romantic relationship. And that left Alastor feeling ill at ease.

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!

AO3 FFnet Purple Crayon Ko-fi

#Fanfic progress update

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richie-fuckface-tozier · 5 years

Text

medicine - reddie wedding

the gay wedding we deserved as a head canon ! also, I was listening to the song medicine by the 1975 and realized how much it radiates reddie energy, so here, enjoy this reddie hc :

- basically fuck all that clown bs that bitch ain’t SHIT

- both Eddie and Stanley are alive? It’s canon Stephen king idk what you’re talking about

- basically Richie and Eddie are happy bitches and love each other so much and we just can’t thank Beverly enough for encouraging both Richie and Eddie to confess their life long feelings for another and Stan for practically exposing them for loving one another

- it went a little like this : they were all at dinner and alcohol was in their veins

- and Eddie and Richie are bickering (per usual)

- Richie pulls some dumb your mom joke again that basically makes no sense and Stan has had : enough for the night so he just says

- “oh god shut the fuck up richie we all know that you’re gay”

- “-actually, that you two are gay. Especially for one another.” He adds sassily.

- Beverly just stares at Stanley angrily because she kind of told him after both Eddie and Richie privately came to her and told her that they both have feelings for each other but Stan’s always speculated it

- obviously I mean

- how couldn’t you

- so richie and eddie are just dead silent alongside the other losers

- and then Richie just says “I’d prefer the term ‘bisexual’ but kudos to you for OUTING me, dickhead”

- Stans just like : 🤷🏻‍♀️

- and Eddie is, for once in his life, just quiet about it

- they don’t talk about it and bill changes the subject as soon as possible to talk and discuss about a new ending he had planned for a new book he’s writing

- in fact, that book is just straight up about 7 kids fighting a killer clown in the sewers and shit

- Bill had planned for him to get the girl, but Ben doesn’t approve (nor does Beverly, to be honest)

- Stans kind of pissed about it too because he gay

- anywho so Eddie sleeps over at Richie’s after

- and Richie knew it was going to get awkward as fuck but Eddie couldn’t help himself on the drive to his place and just shot it out

- “you have feelings for me to?”

- “I mean, you’re annoying as hell, but it’s cute-wait, what do you mean by ‘too’?”

- and Eddie just places his hand on Richie’s

- kudos to Eddie for making the first step ily babe

- still doesn’t mean he’s a top you fuckers

- “I like you, a lot”

- yup so they fuckin at the end of the night

- it’s cute tho cause they gay

- they start to passionately date and although it seems to annoy the fuck out of Stanley he’s so goddamn happy for the two for finally making it happen

- he’s been legit rooting for them since ‘89

- hardcore and first reddie shipper

- so like not long after Richie actually manages to get his grandmothers ring or something

- Eddie has tiny hands™️

- and after three months he already proposes and it’s so inappropriately adorable

- like, he had planned this whole romantic gesture when they travelled to Paris to support Beverly at her fashion show, and Richie was going to do it completely cliché under the stars at the Eiffel Tower

- turns out, he accidentally does it at one of his stand up comedy shows

- btw, a bitch is : famous

- cowrites and acts in some snl sketches and oml Eddie couldn’t be more proud of him

- so at one of his stand up shows, he’s talking about Eddie, something he usually does

- Eddie couldn’t be there for that show but he definitely watched it on tv

- richies also in a completely different state and he returns 3 days after that show

- so Richie says some shit along the lines “so, my boyfriends a bitch. But it’s okay, because soon, I’ll make him my bitch”

- he’s kind of unaware that Eddie’s seeing all of this

- “that sounds wrong, which it is, I can assure you that. But it’s okay, I love him, more than I love his mom”

- his fans love his mom jokes, especially because they know it’s about Eddie’s mom

- at some point he just lovingly but stupidly goes “fuck, man, sometimes I just look at him for like 30 minutes and think ‘shit, he likes me back’ and I watch him do these small noises while he sleeps and how he smiles when I gently touch his hair or when I kiss his forehead, and I watch him blush...and I’m just thinking ‘marry me, you bitch!’” He yelled and Eddie was kind of surprised, but his heart was fluttering so much

- especially when he saw the beautiful ring Richie showed to the crowd

- “so, yeah, I’m a dumbass. I was supposed to propose just a few weeks ago in Paris, you know, the usual cliché bullshit, but I forgot the ring back in LA! And then I was about to do it in a Taco Bell, you know, propose, but my hands were all greasy and I couldn’t even properly hold the steering wheel after that. And now-”

- he stopped, falling on one knee

- “I’m just gonna propose? On stage? Without him noticing?”

- yep Richie definitely had some drinks before that but Eddie couldn’t stop laughing and blushing and crying and ugh

- Richie starts pouring his heart and soul out but with humor obviously added and at some point he just repeats I love you like a hundred times over again and jumps around with his hyper ass

- people are enjoying this gay mess

- “should I say, will you marry me, eds? Or will you lawfully take me as your bitch?” He asked to the crowd and everyone had different answers, which just made him laugh.

- “he’ll complain about me calling him eds, so that could guarantee a no”

- he stopped about the proposing for a while and Eddie definitely had no proper sleep for the next 3 days

- Richie just comes home on a rainy night and Eddie’s already ready for bed, and when he answers the door he just jumps into Richie’s arms and kisses him oh so passionately

- “I do, Richie. I do. I want to be yours.” He whispered against his lips and for a second there Richie was completely confused but smiled and they both started crying and being in passionate love

- Stanley when he finds out, Jesus.

- stan has emotions? Hell yeah a whole LOT of them

- anyway back to the gay wedding

- so it’s the 20th of April

- yes, Richie chose that date and Eddie just thought it was a normal date without any meaning whatsoever

- man oh man was he wrong by the time the invites were sent

- Richie’s wearing a suit, a black one, it’s nice but casual and he took maybe 4 hours to choose the right one for the right one

- Eddie is wearing a white suit that so nice and soft and silky and he’s so in love with it

- and under Richie’s request, or well rather damand, he’s wearing a small veil with a small flower hair clip on the side of his hair (que, Stefon’s fairwell)

- Eddie is : panacking on their wedding day and Bill and Mike help him calm down as much as possible

- his inhaler won’t even help he’s a : mess

- Richie is pretty chill and everyone’s just like ??? what the fuck you’re marrying the love of your life today you dickwad and he’s just like “okay”

- but that all seems to change when Eddie walks down the eisle and Richie just gets so weak in the knees

- it’s like seeing him the first time

- btw, their first encounter was at the pharmacy of the summer of ‘86, richie tried contact lenses for the first time that summer and had to pick them up, but he stupidly forgot his glasses that day so he just ended up bumping through the entire store

- including Eddie

- Eddie was way too soft at that time and he just looked at him and helped him all the way to the counter and helped him get his prescription and fuck

- Richie could tell by his voice and his blurry vision that he saw an angel

- they had multiple classes together but Bill was the first one to really introduce him to the losers

- anyway Richie’s almost crying and Eddie is nearly having a heart attack

- but as soon as he arrives and everyone applauds, Richie just takes his hand to assure that he’s doing okay

- Richie is wearing contact lenses btw

- Eddie is so soft for that shit because he knows how deep Richie takes things and knows it’s about their first encounter

- Richie didn’t really think about that though until Eddie referenced it later and he’s like “yeah, uhhh, totallyyyyy” but he just didn’t want to wear his glasses on his wedding day

- especially because they broke the night before on his bachelor party

- don’t even ask unless you want a single hc for THAT

- they don’t even listen to the priest talking and just admire each other’s presence

- Richie doesn’t even hear him say “will you take eduard kaspbrak as your wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death-”

- “oh please, have you met me? I will love the hell out of this bitch”

- Eddie is just so embarrassed but he loves him so much so he’s the first to crack up after everyone went dead silent and gasped

- “you really had to say hell, Tozier?”

- “sorry, tozier in 5 minutes”

- Eddie blushes and it’s his turn to say, after the priest took that as an obvious I do, and Eddie just immediately blurts out and can’t even hold his excitement, jumping up and down for the priest to finish before saying himself “I do, till death tear us apart”

- Richie cries, Eddie cries, Stanley’s SOBBING (Stanley btw, Richie’s best man), Beverly and Ben and mike and Bill are all crying the hell out of them

- bev is Eddie’s bridesmaid and the other losers basically are too lmao

- “I will now pronounce you husbands-” Richie is already eating Eddie’s face and everyone’s jumping up and applauding

- everyone’s throwing white roses after them as they get out, Richie holding Eddie bridal style to the limousine

- they spend the wedding in a nice hall and the decorations are whites and wine red

- decoration and designing both by Ben and Beverly. They really went all out with this and the two couldn’t thank them enough.

- red velvet cake with both Richie and Eddie as figures on them.

- after Richie’s request, they made Eddie purposely smaller and Richie’s just loving Eddie’s anger about this but it’s not too bad because it’s his wedding day, with the love of his life

- Stanley makes a toast, prepare to cry :

- “Maybe since 1988 I’ve been waiting to call Eddie Eddie Tozier. I sometimes did when Richie wasn’t around because I didn’t want to be that mean to Richie. I knew he had hardcore feelings for him. Richie was so in love with him that he’d sometimes come to me crying about Eddie, how much he loves him. I was the first one to know. I was the only one to know.”

- Beverly stands up, going on : “Eddie told me he loved Richie. It was first a like situation, but it truly and quickly turned into true love. I was always there to support Eddie. I could never be mad about it.”

- Bill goes on, saying “I-I never knew until n-now, b-but I c-couldn’t be more proud of them. I d-don’t know how I would’ve thought about it b-back then, them being homosexual, but then was then, and now is now. I am so happy for them.”

- Ben says “I couldn’t think of anyone else for them. Richie belongs to Eddie. Eddie belongs to Richie. They were meant for each other. God wanted this. No one knows how important this love story is, and I am so glad I can be apart of this.”

- Mike, finally stands up and adds “all of this bickering was just them confessing their love for another over and over again” he pauses to laugh with the others, and Eddie and Richie are crying so much, Eddie more than Richie. Eddie’s sobbing but Richie, his tears are just falling down and he’s holding onto Eddie’s hand with the ring on with his own ring wearing hand. “So, us losers, we couldn’t be more proud of how you two have finally made it. You two deserve one another. Till death do you apart”

- stan finally ends off with “honestly, I’m great full that I accidentally drunkenly said that you two loved each other” everyone laughs, alongside the two. “But you two were simply meant to be, and even though I always seemed like I hated you two, it was just me being sick and tired of you not finally kissing one another.” He smiled. “Till death do you apart” everyone says, raising their glasses, and everyone else does so too.

- they all party and eat cake a little until the wedding dance is on. Their song is ‘medicine’ by the 1975. Richie and Eddie loved the 1975 and it once played on this playlist Richie made for Eddie and then the whole day long they were just dancing to it

- this was pre-engagement by the way, turns out they were learning their wedding dance all along

- so they dance, Richie takes the man role of the dance, and Eddie just has his hands wrapped around Richie’s neck. They can’t stop looking at each other and kissing each other and they both always mouth along the song, especially at the chorus

- “in case you’re my medicine, yeah you’re my medicine”

- Richie softens up at the part “I, i wanna marry you”

- after the dance everyone applauds of course and they just party a little

- maybe around 4am everyone else goes home except the losers. The losers go to the beach and hang out together until the sunrise.

- it’s so beautiful because they make a small fire and then just watch the sunrise and Eddie and Richie are just so in : love

- and everyone’s so happy for them

- Jesus Stanley can’t stop crying and Richie makes fun of him forever for that

- they all go home and Richie and Eddie into their new home, which is so nice, and then

- ya know

- they fuck

- and after that, Eddie falls asleep first, Richie can’t stop staying awake and he just looks at the ceiling with Eddie in his arms, wearing the brightest smile he’s ever worn, and just whispers to himself

- “holy shit, he likes me back”

- and then he just admires Eddie and at some point, he falls asleep

- they’re the happiest together, don’t come for me

- it’s canon you fuckersssss

- also they adopt a pomaranian and later a girl

- aLSO (nearly forgot to add this, I came up with this during bills part of the speech) bill ends his story with the two best friends of the main characters ending up together, although he nearly killed off one of the characters, he edited it and they end up together and live a happy life together

#richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #the losers club #itchapter2 #reddie #reddiehcs #headcanon #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #bill denbrough #stanley uris #mike hanlon #the 1975 #medicine

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frenchibi · 5 years

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3, 9, 19 and 22 pleeeeez

THANK U!!! I may have gone a little overboard answering these (sorry not sorry)

[End of the year asks]

3 Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

Can I have… three? xD (Yes I can, to hell with the rules!!)

The Regrettes (they are SO FUN and I saw a concert in November that was AMAZING) - listen here!

Delta Rae (to be fair I knew one of their songs prior to this year, but then I delved further into their work and AAAAA they make such diverse music I LOVE IT) - listen here!

Dirt Poor Robins (listen. LISTEN. They make musical theater concept albums with a Tim Burton feel WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE) - listen here and here and here! (can you tell i am obsessed with these)

((honorable mention, I got into Starkid musicals this year and I AM SCREAM))

9 Best month for you this year?

This is such a difficult question, because every month there were really cool things?? (This has been such a good year overall?? ALLOW ME TO GO OFF FOR A SEC)

((adding a cut because this got long I GOT EXCITED, my life is cool???))

In January I got to do a lot of skiing, I had a RAD new year’s party (mostly we played board games and it was exactly what I wanted), and I explored my city a lot? Also there were lots of cool new shows out to watch! AND I visited @notinvidia !!

In February I had a visit from this friend….. and he came to my choir concert at a massive fancy venue that we don’t often get to play………. and I took him skiing………………. OH WAIT THAT WAS YOU WASN’T IT :DDDD(also I was in a bit of an anime nostalgia phase and that was FUN)

March was my birthday (and I LOVE MY FRIENDS SO MUCH AAA I had such a lovely party!!!) and also a bit of a pokemon go revival phase (don’t @ me) and I went on a bunch of rly cool dates with some rly cool ladies!! Meeting new people takes a special kind of energy and I seemed to have a lot of that in March! Also, March marks the beginning of Strawberry Season and I was So Excited hafjkshfhasjkl

In April I got into starkid musicals and spent the rest of the month bingeing everything they’ve ever created - also I got back into painting and I was SO HAPPY to be creating in a medium I hadn’t stared down to death y’know? *glares at ao3 page* Also I still got some end-of-season skiing in, that was very cool!

In May I began to change my aesthetic/clothes a little and I am SO HAPPY with these changes?? Also, I went to London to see @books-and-trees and she showed me a lot of really cool queer places, lovely bookstores, AND she took me to see Les Mis live which has been a LIFELONG DREAM it was AWESOME!! ALSO I met Sandi Toksvig??? Which I still can’t quite believe?????

In June I went on a family vacation to Turkey and it was so fun?? Also I absolutely gorged myself on strawberries and figs (livin my best life tbh), I got back into lots of reading (which, YESSSS) and I finally found a shampoo to solve my hair problems?? It was a good month xD

In July I went to my city’s pride parade with my favorite people (AWESOME), I had a concert with the band I’m in (AWESOME), I allowed myself to go to my favorite art supply store and GO APESHIT (AWESOME), and also I had a brief visit from some dear friends from India!!!!! (AWESOME)!

In August, I attempted a competitive sports thing for the first time in years and I PASSED and was so proud?? Also I took my little sister on her first vacation without our parents (it was SO FUN) and I saw the musical Come From Away, a 100-minute show that had me full-on crying for 95 of those minutes. It was AMAZING. I also went hiking with friends, and I was really obsessed with hot chocolate this month? lmao

September was Friend Meeting Month!! Everyone seemed to be back in town (and by that I mean EVERYONE, I met with twelve friends I don’t often see? TWELVE??? Yeah), and also I was back to choir and band after the summer break, which always really excites me! ALSO, @annoyed-basically taught me how to cross-stitch!! I had a bit of an anxiety-high this month, but I worked it out with my therapist and it all turned out ok :D

In October - I had another band concert and a really cool writing workshop where I met some amazing women! I was also sick for three weeks (oof) but I did catch up on a lot of shows during that time (lmao) and I saw another choir in concert and really, really enjoyed it! Also, we had a Halloween game night with a spooky game and it was SO FUN!!! Also I looked up some really cool DIY stuff for christmas gifts and started CREATING things!!!

November held another trip to London - and this time I SAW HAMILTON!!!!!!!! And oh my GOD it was AMAZING?!?! (I also saw Matilda the Musical, which made me cry LOADS and was so nostalgic and WONDERFUL!) I went on a work trip with my mom, and treated myself to a massive (MASSIVE) plushie because I had a bad day - I also had a choir concert, received a lot of cool art supplies in the mail that I’d ordered months ago and forgotten about (lmao), and had some really really cool nights out with friends!!! I also bought a gorgeous vintage dress that I am incredibly excited about!! AND I went to the aforementioned Regrettes concert (They kicked ASS!!)! ….yeah I think November might be my favorite month, maybe??

December is not over yet, but it has been quite cool so far? Bit of a stressful time preparing for work things and getting gifts done, but I had another choir concert that was awesome, I’m gonna go to some Christmas markets and also I have a five day skiing vacation with my sister coming up, and another new year’s eve party that I’m organizing! Aaaa!!

In conclusion, I have been stressing about my life but ACTUALLY I am living the dream, pretty much?? dfhjklahsdfjk I had a really really good year and I was overdue for one, after the pits of despair that were 2016, 17 and 18 :’)))

19 What’re you excited about for next year?

I haven’t actually planned far ahead yet, beyond like… February? So I am excited for whatever 2020 holds beyond that? I’m sure I’ll manage to do some really, really cool things!!! So far I have a night at the opera planned with a friend (and I am so excited, I so rarely meet people who enjoy opera as well???), and also a trip to India to finally see @joanofarcticmonkeys again, AAAAA!!!!! I AM SCREAM!!!! Also I might get to meet more online friends next year??? Looking at u @floweringscrubs :D

22 Favorite place you visited this year?

I mean… I went to London a LOT (lmao) and I am obsessed with the musical theater scene there? With how every theater is individually decorated and designed and stuff?? Also I went to some really really cool bookshops… :D

Other places closer to home that will always stay favorites include the gorge I like to go hiking in, the art supply store, the bar I frequent with my friends, and the mountains for skiing!!

…ok i’m gonna shut up now lmfao thank you for asking tho and making me remember that I’ve had a REALLY COOL YEAR!!!!!

#French speaks #answered #Dima you gave me too much power here with these very good questions #enjoy my rambling lmfao

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heytheregreeneyes · 5 years

Text

How come you gave up on 'Something Just Like This'? I loved that fic

So here’s the thing...

I haven’t given up on Something Just Like This. I actually still love that fic dearly and very much intend to finish it (and I need to do it soon before Tyler steals all of my ideas like he did with Jenna’s pregnancy reveal *shakes fist at Tyler*).

As you all know, this past year I hadn’t felt much like writing and I couldn’t figure out why... until the other night at work. I was sitting at my desk, staring off into space and thinking about dialogue for the current chapter when it hit me like a freight train why I haven’t been writing. I had had an epiphany!

My eyes literally got wide as I sat straight up, gasped and literally said “Oh my God,” out loud. It was so obvious, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before. And the first thing I did was text @ohfrickfanfic (who agrees with me), even tho it was somewhere around 3:25 in the morning. So if you wanna hear the story behind the fic, buckle in kids, cause it’s gonna be a long one, and it’s gonna get deep.

So as you all know, I started writing Something Just Like This in July of 2017. I was 4 months pregnant with my 3rd surrobaby, who was due in December on Christmas Eve. I was writing as fast as my fingers could fly and was banging out chapters probably once a week. Sometimes twice.

December 12, 2017 - SURROBABY IS BORN! After this, chapters obviously slowed down so that I could pump milk and get my life back to somewhat normal again.

Six months later, in June of 2018, I finally reached the end of my six-month contract for pumping breastmilk for Surrobaby #3 and I started working at my current job at the hospital. I am a CNA and it just so happens that this hospital is where all the surrogate babies were born IRL. I have been super lucky and I now work in that very department, which is where I have wanted to work all my life! Serious life goals, guys. But as you all know, nurses work insane shifts and long hours. I work overnights, 13 hours at a time, and so writing slowed down even more since I was now working my first job outside of the home in about 9 years. For the next few months, chapters are still being posted, but much more slowly.

Things are moving along great... I’m still writing, albeit a bit more slowly, but chapters are still being posted

April 2018 comes and my grandpa dies... my emotions took a huge hit. I had grown up very close to my grandpa and I couldn’t write happy things when I was in such a sad place. It was rough.

Writing slows even more over the summer, but I am still writing, still posting, still planning, still rough drafting, still plotting scenes, and still writing dialogue.

September 2, 2018 - I meet HIM. I don’t want to give out his real name, so we’ll just call him William. I will never ever forget that night. I wasn’t even supposed to be at work that night; it was my night off but they had sent out a text that they needed help, so I picked up an extra shift. Around midnight I got a call that they needed me to pass off my patients so that I could go down to the ER and be a 1:1 for a patient suffering a panic attack. I gather up my things, head down to the ER, get my assignment, go to his room, and...

That was that. He had been sobbing and when he looked up and saw me, he suddenly took one last big breath and stopped crying. He calmed. We got to talking over the course of the night and it was like we had known each other for millennia. We were immediately comfortable with each other, had each other's sense of humor, shared similar life experiences, you name it. This was the night I met my best friend.

He was still hardcore in the middle of a panic attack and didn’t like to be touched, but somehow I was allowed to touch. He openly admits to how much he despises hospitals and no one was allowed in the room, but somehow was calm when I was there. Do you believe in fate? Cause I do.

A week goes by and we now are either talking/texting/video chatting/instant messaging all day and all night, about anything and everything. Our phone calls go on for HOURS and often would end up talking all through the night. Turns out that he has severe anxiety and hasn’t left his house in over two years. Neither of us could believe how quickly we connected and bonded, but the new friendship was a blessing for him and me both. Because of his anxiety and tendency to call/text/message me if a panic attack hit, he earned his own ringtone, text notification sound, and custom volume so that if he called or texted in the middle of the night, or if I was out in a busy area, it would wake me up or ring loud enough so that I could stop and answer.

September 18, 2018 - Two weeks after meeting William, my world gets turned upside down. I lose my mom. She was only 52 years old and died very unexpectedly from sudden liver death. I was DEVASTATED. William was there for me throughout the whole thing, something I didn’t expect since we had just met barely two weeks earlier. In fact, one of the last things my mom ever said to me was “make sure you take care of that sweet boy”. I’ll never forget it.

After my mom died I didn’t feel like writing for a long time. Again, it’s hard to write happy things when you feel so sad and shocked.

So this past year goes by and things level to a norm. William’s depression and anxiety waxes and wanes. We’d hang out in person at his house sometimes, mostly just making fun of each other and enjoying each other’s company. We still talk and text multiple times every day, and had gotten into a habit of sleeping while on the phone.

Then mid-October this year, something changed. We still do all of our normal stuff but he had started to say that he hated not being able to leave his house, hated the way he felt, hated not being able to do stuff, felt like a failure and a coward, etc. All things he has said before, but this time was just hitting him so much worse.

The night of October 22nd is when things really changed. To me, that’s the day I had breast reduction surgery, but that’s also the day communication between us stopped. He stopped calling, he stopped texting, we no longer messaged or chatted on discord... He was gone.

Let me tell you that this felt exactly like another death. How could I lose someone I was so close to? Did I say something wrong, did I do something wrong, did I make him feel bad, did I scare him somehow... all these questions were running thru my head, constantly, throughout the days.

One night I texted him that we needed to talk so he called and sort of, got onto me. He said that I did nothing wrong, that I didn’t say or do anything, that he just couldn’t handle things very well at the moment and he would see texts but just didn’t have it in him to reply. He lacked the energy to call and carry on a conversation. didn’t want to do anything but be by himself. He told me that he loves me and that he misses me, but this is just how it gets sometimes. it just be like that.

I understood. Depression fucking sucks and it just sucks the soul right out of you sometimes. I was there for him but right now, he just needed alone time... something he hadn’t required in over a year... and something I definitely was not used to.

So there I sit this past Saturday night at work, thinking about my fic and writing dialogue in my head like I had been the last few weeks when it hits me.

‘Oh my God,’ I thought to myself. ‘I just figured out why I write fic and why I had stopped for a bit... until now.’

IT FILLS A HOLE OF LONELINESS AND LONGING!

I texted @ohfrickfanfic and she replied, “you were lacking male attention so you made up for it by writing fic but then you met William and he filled the void but now he’s not giving you as much attention so you feel you need to fill that void again.”

I’ll be damned if she’s not 100% right. I had love. I had someone who loved me, someone who genuinely cared about me and for me, asked how I was, loved my family, wanted to know what I was up to, took interest in my life, valued my opinions, asked my advice and took it to heart, called me his, called me pet names, gave me hugs and kissed my forehead.

When it suddenly stopped, ngl I cried quite a few times. I was heartbroken. I went into my own depression and that is when I got the want to start writing again. I’ve always wanted to write and finish SJLT, but now the urge is there.

Things are slowly getting better. He calls every now and then... more often all the time. He teases me and texts sometimes and sends me messages on snapchat, just not NEARLY as often as before. It’s been over a month since I’ve seen his face and I hate it, but I can see my best friend slowly coming back to life. It’s tough because I miss him so fucking much, but he’s coming around and trying to battle his anxiety.

As far as the fic goes, I NEVER gave up on Something Just Like This and it WILL be a finished fic if it kills me. As it stands now, there are only about 3-4 more chapters to go before the fic is finished, and I would like to get it out before the new year... again, before Tyler Joseph steals all of my ideas that I’ve had planned for Josh for over two years. *shakes another fist at Tyler*

I really do appreciate all of you sticking with me and the fic for this long. Allowing me to grieve the loss of my loved ones and asking for updates on the fic... it lets me know that you like it and that my work is wanted.

I won’t let you down.

#something just like this #fanfiction #fanfic #josh dun x reader #encoreo #reader-insert #reader insert #fan fiction #depression #anxiety #about me #update

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blurrybethny · 6 years

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Diary entry #8

So I’m gonna start this entry the same way I did in the last post.

So. MUCH. has. happened. like so much

okey, so since the last post, it’s almost been 2 years. Isn’t that crazy, 2 years. Well, the main reason for that has been F. So let’s just start where we left of.

So we’re in May or something now, and I finally finished my finals and got my results which where incredibly great. So with that result I had the chance to apply to the University of my dreams for the major Online-Media-Management. I thought that it would be great to make Instagram and Facebook to your Job. So meanwhile, I was still hanging out with F everyday, and since I already finished my finals, F was allowed to sleep at my place.

Now we are at the end of June and it is my high school prom which I have been exited about, I had a beautiful long, blue dress and F was wearing a really handsome suit. The funny thing was the next morning at 6am we had to catch out flight to Tenerife. So F was drinking kind of a bit of alcohol at my prom and at like 1 or 2am we drove back to my place and slept for like an hour and then headed to the airport.

We’re in July now, for 10 days we had the greatest vacation ever. The whole time we did what we wanted, the explored the whole city with a scooter und took many pictures. On one of the days we went up to the biggest mountain of Tenerife and then WALKED down it. We were almost on the ground again, when we lost track of the path and kinda got lost. But at the end we came back home safely. On another day we drove to this cool looking beach, it was really windy tho and the sand was hurting so much when it hit you skin. On one of the last days we drove to an animal park, which was also a great experience.

Just 2 weeks later, me and my mom flew to Los Angeles for kind of a road trip with a bigger group of tourists. The trip was really great because we explored LA, Hollywood, Las Vegas, San Francisco and other nice towns and sights. That was really one of my biggest dreams to travel through a part of the US. Honestly, at the beginning of the trip I missed F so much, and we talked everyday on the phone. I also was getting really angry at him, because at the beginning he seemed like he didn’t miss me at all and he went to two parties where he was having fun and getting drunk. And I also got quite jealous, because I was scared he would make a mistake with another girl.

So we’re in August now, and I came back home from the US trip and F and my dad picked us up from the air port and I was so excited so see him again. Also btw during the trip I got the message that they accepted me at the university I wanted to go to. So I was really happy about that. And because of that, now it was the time to search for a flat near the university, because it is actually 300km away from my hometown. The question that was upcoming now was, if F would move with me or not. And he said to me that he would move to anywhere I was. Which was really sweet of him and I was so happy about that. Now we had to search for a flat with at least 2 rooms. The search was kinda difficult because the flats where really expensive up there and especially in the middle of the city. However, my mom finally found one that was having a visitors day, so we drove up to the city and visited the flat. The flat already had furniture in it and it was not the prettiest. After that we kind of spontaneously drove to another flat that was also having a visitor day the same day, but there were no pictures on the internet. So we got there and the landlord was really nice, the little town was pretty and quiet and the flat was light and had no furniture in it. So we drove back home and the same day, the landlord from the first flat denied our request. However, the one from the second flat, sent my mom an email the next day, that the flat was ours!! So the renovating began. We drove up there on the weekends again to paint the walls and buy furniture. It was a lot of fun.

September. Not a lot happened in September, at least I can’t remember it. The only thing was, that it was my 19th birthday and I really wanted to go to a club, so we went to the club. I was wearing a really sexy dress obviously. Then we only stayed until 1am and left again because it was kinda boring and I felt a little sick. So, surprise surprise, on my birthday I was sick.

October. At the beginning of October, a week before Uni officially started my major had a kick-off to get to know the other students and teachers. I was really confident in myself and ambitious to meet new people and hopefully make some friends. The first day, started not that bad, I picked up 3 other girls to drive to the meeting place. There I got to know other girls as well. I actually talked with almost everybody - which is not common for me - and still groups were already forming and I was left behind. I kind of thought that I was getting closer to some girls, but they always left and did other stuff and I’m just not the type of girl to run after everybody. So even there I was sitting alone sometime. And I was turning into an outsider more and more because me and another girl were the only ones not drinking. It was also annoying for me because they played all kinds of drinking games and that’s just not my thing. The next day was not so great because I just felt uncomfortable and left out. The evening was even worse, I felt even more left out, and I felt so sad because I missed F so much and I just wanted to be home. I was really glad when the 3 days were over. Overall, the start of the major was not bad, I kind of liked the subjects - however, I was still the odd one out all the time, because everybody already had a friends group and everybody is just shallow - I also started to get better friends with the other girl that was not drinking alcohol and we actually had quite a few things in common. I even invited her for a sleepover once and we initially wanted to watch Riverdale but we ended up talking about all kinds of stuff. Since then she is like the only one I really talk to.

The following months until February were not really exciting. It was a really hard time for me because during the week I was all alone in my flat and I only saw F on the weekends and holidays. I literally cried every time we had to say goodbye. Also during that time, we had a lot of fights because when we talked over video call he usually fell a sleep which made me angry. And also when we saw each other on the weekends, he still had stuff to do or met up with people or even had to work Saturday and Sunday. This things always made me really angry and frustrated because I was all alone the whole time, I just wanted to spend time with him on the weekends and then he would have even less time. Sometimes we had really heavy fights where he really hurt me with his words. I know that I was not always fair to him and how I reacted, but he also never understood me. What I maybe have to add here is that, since F this one fight between me, S and F after the theatre the friendship between the two guys and between me and S was kind of over. So in August F told me that S was diagnosed with cancer. In the following months F and S started to talk again and meet up, which I was happy about because they have been friends for a long time and I felt really guilty that I was the reason for the breakup of this friendship. Also for new years eve we planned a bigger party because S wanted it to. It was not too bad, and I was really glad about the fact that S was talking to me again, because I missed being friends with him. In the following months there were ups and downs with his health.

February. Most of this month F and me spent in Thailand because his mom is from Thailand. However, this vacation was probably the worst one I have ever had. First, everything was just new to me and I met a lot of new people I could not talk to because they only spoke Thai, then another thing was that F did not really keep me in mind because this was his second home and everything was just normal for him but not for me. Especially the missing hygiene and the weird food. Also I got pretty sick with fever and everything and I had to go to the hospital for two days. After that I still stayed home a bit and F always wanted to go fishing at night. And I was just so frustrated about him because I was still exhausted from the sickness and he did not really pay attention to me and always got angry at me because I didn’t want to leave the house and I always started crying. So I basically did not leave the house for two days, when we finally got together again. The last few days were the best of the whole holiday because he finally adapted his actions to my needs.

March. F finally moved in with me because his education for his job finally ended, so he had to find a job up here. It took quite a while but he finally found a job which he likes. Also I got the results of my first semester’s tests and they were all really great actually.

April. We finally had our one year anniversary for which we went out on a date.

May. F, me and his family drove to Hungary for a weekend trip which was also okey. But I prefer the alone time between F and me. In Uni, I finally started to become kind of friends with two other girls, and we also formed a group for a school project, however, one of the girls quite uni during that.

June. This is the month of S’s death day. I was so sorry for F, because they were finally best friends again and it seemed to get better. I was also in shock because I just couldn’t image S not being here anymore, to never see him again.

July. Not much happened in this month, except that I had my finals and I applied for a job that I could do over the summer break, and I actually got one in a cafe not far from my flat. Also the other girl I was talking about, that I thought I was also kinda getting friends with, switched to another major at the end of the semester. So again, I had no friends.

August. I worked the whole month in this cafe, and it was actually so much fun, because I did not have to think about school and it was just something different for me. Also my coworkers were really nice and funny.

September. I had my last week to work, and everybody was telling me how much they would miss me and that I was the best worker here for the summer and why I can't stay, and honestly this makes me so proud, because I never thought I would be so good in this job. After the last week in work, F and me drove to Hungary again because we wanted to have some vacation and also work on the house his parents have there. After we got back home, F and his friend B planned a kind of funeral for S, because since his death there has not been a funeral. The “party” was really nice and emotionally. For me it was really hard because until then I always tried to ignore my thoughts and feelings about this topic because I had to be strong for F. But at this day everything was just coming up. A few days later we drove back to our flat.

October. The 3rd semester of my university was starting. After only the first week, I knew there was a lot a head of me. - short cut, because I have to tell a backstory to what's following, so I’ve always wanted a dog since I have been a kid and F also always wanted a dog, for the past year I was pretty obsessed with pugs, then I was obsessed with french bulldogs because they’re just cute. Back in January we already talked about this topic with my mom and she just said that me and F have not been together for so long and that we would talk about this another time. So until October we were kinda over this topic already.- But on one day where we both were home, he brought the topic back up and just for information purposes he searched for people, that were selling french bulldog puppies. On the same day, we were driving to there place - keep in mind we just wanted to ask them how much space the puppies would need, how much affection and just general stuff. - But oh my god, the puppies were so cute and adorable. When they said the dogs only need around 50-60 square meters, I was initially in the mode of picking my favorite puppy (our flat has 56 square meters). On the way home we both knew that we would be getting a dog. When we drove home, F called our landlord and asked him, if it would be okey if we would get a dog and I called my mom to tell her all the facts, because against that she would not be able to say something against it. She was not impressed but also not angry, so I was like okey let’s get a dog. The next day, we drove to the breeders again to pick our puppy. I originally said that I would either want a grey or spotted one - they had both - however, the spotted ones were not that pretty. So we had to make the decision between a lazy fat black one or a quirky playful grey one. Characteristically, we would more be like the black one, but I wanted to have the grey one so we could play a lot. So there you have it, within two days, we made the decision to get a dog and already picked out a puppy. Four weeks later, we would be able to pick him up.

November. The time has finally come, and we were able to pick up our puppy and bring him home. He was really, great. He was not scared of anything and he was also not crying a lot. It was so funny to watch him run around and play and jump. Back then he was so little, you can't even imagine. But he’s also a lot of work, at the beginning he peed and pooped into the flat which was not so great. Another topic: Uni. During October and November I did not have the best time in uni, because there were so many things I did not understand and I was exhausted and it was just so much that I was not even interested in. I was so stressed out, I had a break down almost everyday because of the tasks we had to do. I was also considering, switching to another major that was about marketing and advertisement. Because I was way more interested in that kind of stuff. However, the problem was the timing, because the semester had just started, so I either had to finish this semester anyways or I would stop right now and then do nothing until March, which my mom would not allow. And if it was the first option, I would already been done with 3 Semesters, and if I would switch to another major I would have to start at zero again. I also saw, that the major I wanted to switch to had really shity times to be at uni, and with our puppy it was better if I was the most time at home. So it was a really shit time for me, because I wanted to switch but then I would be even longer in Uni. But also a reason, why I wanted to switch was that in my major I did not really have any friends and I was just hoping that I would maybe gain some new friends in the other major. So it was the first weekend that we drove home with the puppy because also my grandpa had died and the funeral was on a Friday. When we got home I noticed that my mom was annoyed the whole time. - my dad was in love with the puppy tho - so the funeral was pretty sad and I could not believe that my grandpa was gone now. It was for the better tho, because his health got worse, sometimes he would not even remember me and his body was just shutting down. At the funeral I also had to think of S, and that I lost two people this year. The day after, me and my parents talked about a lot of things. First, me and my dad about the houses and some stuff and that I would get one of the houses. And then all together about why my mom was so angry about the dog and yea. Then I told her the situation about the decision I would want to make considering the major and obviously she was not happy about it. Like she's paying my rent and everything. So her condition was that, if I would switch, I would have to find a mini-job during the semester. So that was not really optional because I would have to do so much for uni itself. So I got over the idea and said to myself that I just have to live through it.

December. I’m still here in my original major and I finally found peace with it because now I’m almost done with everything and the things don’t seem impossible anymore. But I’m really glad that this semester is over soon, because I hate everything about it. I also feel really uncomfortable in the lessons again, because I always sit next to the girl - from the very beginning I’m still friends with her - but she always wants to sit in the front which means that it is always just me and her in the front and everybody else is always behind us. Which I feel so uncomfortable about. It is also always really awkward when we have to build groups of 4 or something because then it always us two outsiders and usually two other outsiders. - Just so you know, I have nothing against foreign people, like my boyfriend is half Thai - but these other two outsiders are from russia I think, and they have this strong accent and because I already worked together with them and I sit with them, I think I am also considered an outsider and I feel so uncomfortable with that. Also another thing that’s been on my mind lately is, that the relationship between me and F is getting quite dry and boring because we just have our routine and there is nothing exciting anymore. It’s also really difficult to change this, because our routines are fixed because of work and uni but also because every time I talked with F about our relationship and that I want more love and affection, he does it for like two days and then it’s just like how it was before that. And this is so frustrating. I just want the feelings from the start again, where everything was exciting and new. Like he is still my favorite person and I prefer spending time with him over being alone or with someone else, but this is probably the problem why it is so boring. I just need a friend or an activity without him, so when I come back I’m excited to see him. Or we need a new routine, I just don’t know honestly. Last but not least, on Saturday we are finally driving home for the christmas break which I’m excited for because I don’t have uni for two weeks and yea. Also we maybe celebrate New Years Eve at my place which is also exciting, because I never really had a party at my place. Also another thing, in February and March next year I will be working at the coffee shop again which I am very excited for. I am also really excited for the next semester because then we will do a lot of marketing stuff and media production which I’m really interested in. - One last thing, last weekend F, two of his friends and I drove over 1000km on one day to look at a car F wanted to buy and guess what he bought it. But it is a crash car so he has to work on it still before he can drive it. Also our puppy is getting bigger and bigger and I am such a proud mommy.

- See you probably in 4 years

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facesofopioids-blog · 7 years

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This can be shared! Sunday Story "Coming Home"By: Tonna Marie Clark My name is Tonna, as most of you see I am a moderator here now. I am married to my best friend, my rock, my soul, my everything. We have 2 children. Our oldest is 7 she’s in the 1st grade, and our son is 5 in the kindergarten. My journey began here when the group was just maybe a month or two into it. I’m not the addict, but I’m here to be the voice of my husband whom is in his recovery in prison right now. His sentence is nearing the end as of the end of April. So many worries, emotions, and anxiety. I would like to share with y’all my husbands story. My husband (Eric) was a wonderful kid growing up, but also ornery. His parents split when he was in his early teens. His Father was his best friend, they did everything together, hunting, fishing, you name it. Eric when he got older started doing MMA. Eric would get pain pills for injuries. Eric’s Father was battling throat cancer. One night Eric decided to go to his fight instead of staying with his father. That night was the night his father committed suicide as he had given up battling his cancer. Eric had lost his best friend, he felt guilty because he didn’t stay instead of going to a fight. Losing his father was the fire of starting his addiction. In his early 20's he began snorting and abusing pain pills, which then turned to him using heroin. He had been in and out of prison for many many crimes committed most was from trying to feed his addiction of heroin. His last prison sentence before I had met him was a 5 year sentence. In September of 2015 he had just got released from prison, he home planned to a town close to me because of a buddy he had in prison, and this buddy is how we met. Not knowing Eric from the man and the moon, I had met him in September 2015, for two weeks I kept putting him off, making excuses as to why I couldn’t hang out. Oh, but he wasn’t having it, he wouldn’t go away lol as I say it. So Oct 9th we finally got together. Everything was going great. As I’m one of those that will look up your criminal record, and do better research than the FBI, lol, I found his criminal record. He had lied to me why he was in prison to save himself embarrassment. I tried everything to get rid of him as I didn’t want any more of the “bad boys” in my life. Something about him tho, I was falling in love. Behind my back Eric had started using pain pills. As November and December passed he finally moved in with me. Things was going okay. He wanted to be married and be married now. I kept saying let’s wait till September. He didn’t want that so I fell for it, we married February 23rd 2016. I’m not an addict, I had addicts in and out of my life most of the guys I dated had a drug back ground but they wasn’t using when we was together, so my mind set was, they once was addicted to this certain drug but they are better now. I was all so wrong though. After we married, I found out Eric had relapsed using pain pills. Not only was that something to make me mad at him but I witnessed him snorting them! As we was staying with my mother he got us kicked out. We got an apartment an hour away where we both worked. Using the money that was needed to get plates on my car. Instead he would use a pen and paper and make a new number for each month. Driving the car hot all the time. When we moved, my daughter decided she wanted to stay with grandma. So I allowed her to for her happiness as I felt like a no good mother. My son stayed with us. But shortly he ended up with my mother to as Eric did a total 360 and became a monster! I begged I pleaded, I yelled I screamed, I would say harsh words. But I didn’t move from his side I stayed by his side. He was getting pills from people that we worked with, a place of employment and everyone and including our boss was on drugs. I was like whoa am I the only person. Eric started rubbing off on me as I i would hurt so bad from work I started taking a pill here and there. Until I found out I was pregnant. I thought being pregnant would make him change his ways. But I was so wrong. Eric had been physical with me before I had found out I was pregnant. He wasn’t the same person anymore. I ended up leaving and coming back once. Then I left again. He came to pick me up for our first ob appointment. We found out the baby had no heart beat, after we had been to Er many times before hand as I kept spotting. Our worlds came crashing. The dr prescribed me 20 pain pills to get through the miscarriage, of course the addict he was and paid for my prescription he took 10 from me. After passing the baby I went back to him, I was mentally emotionally physically exhausted. But he kept doing his pills spending hundreds of dollars a week on pills. Eric found the nerve to get ahold of my sons bio father and send my son to Colorado with him. I let my son go because I had a point to prove to everyone who called me a bad mom and who said that he was better off with his father. I had kept fighting, argue, take his physical attacks ect. One night we had gotten into it I was at my wits end of his abuse so I called police as he left with my car. I had no way of leaving, as my daughter had been spending the weekend with me. My mother and Step father come to the police station to get my daughter and I. As I thought that was the last time, unfortunately it wasn’t as he would manipulate me, make me feel guilty, all them things that mentally and emotionally I was drained already. I went back. On his way to work he got pulled over we the cops had been waiting to get him over the domestic. He went to jail. He bonded out. Shortly he quit his job as he was on parole and was trying to avoid his parole officer. One morning I was chatting with his mom as I would talk to her about him and what he was doing. That morning I caught him snorting pills in a picture, I sent it to his mom. Thinking him going to jail would be the end of his addiction he would sober up and be done. Was I all so wrong as she had called the cops and let them know where he was as he had a warrant, I let them in. He went to jail for a week. He got out. He kept begging me to drive him to St. Louis to pick up 50 dollars supposedly he had borrowed this dope dealer he was supposedly getting pills from when he would have me driving him to St. Louis. I instantly knew what was up and said no I wasn’t driving him. He kept on and on and on so I finally said fine! Thinking he was getting pills anyways. Eric started taking loans out using his last pay stub when he quit his job, so many loans. At one point Eric was trying to cover us his own addiction with trying to get me hooked on something, at that time in my life I was dead inside... I tried cocaine for the 1st time, then meth! He had me doing both at same time. The come down was so God awful. He made me drive on an expired plate 4 hours away coming down I felt like I was having a heart attack the whole way as my chest was so tight and I felt like I was about to die. Supposedly this buddy of his was gonna hook him up with pills.. didn’t happen the dude ripped him off, but he got Xanax. I took one and fell asleep for a few hours before we had to be out of the motel. As time went on my husbands pill problem, as pills was hard to find, turned to heroin. St. Louis drives started, I knew instantly the 1st time he used the heroin via needle. I hadn’t known before then. Track marks I literally cried myself to sleep that night. I told him he had a week to quit or I was leaving! He didn’t. I left in August to his own distraction. He would call me every other day, I laid in bed for a month bawling, feeling so dead inside. Then one week I hadn’t heard from him, I called his mom and said mom we need to send out a missing person report, she says why... I said mom I haven’t heard from him in a week, what if he’s dead! She said he called me from jail last night in Illinois! A weight lifted off my shoulders! Finally he was gonna be going to prison. I at least knew my husband was alive though. As one night I sat down to write him a letter it was going to be my last words to him as I was mentally and emotionally gone. When I say gone I was so dead inside. But the letter ended up going the opposite way of what I was planning, telling him he had this chance to change for himself. That I would love him and he knows my belief in divorce. I’m head strong and fight for what I want until I have no fight left in me. As I was dead inside I started soul searching, I didn’t know who I was anymore, I also knew I had to educate myself on addiction. Well that’s how I ended up here! I’ve learned so many things so much about addiction. I read these stories of voices of parents losing children, kids losing parents, people in recovery and ones looking for recovery. I have prayed to God as long as I’ve been here asking him to lead me in the right direction, asking to be put on the path I belong, yet my husband is still my one and only, Gods not sent me away from him but pushed me to learn and support addiction. Today his words are only words until he is home to prove himself and his change. We are nearing his home date of next month. He’s been in prison since November but was in jail before that in September. This September he will have 2 years clean. As his out date nears I have so much anxiety, worry, and excitement. Not only is he lucky to have my second chance, he is lucky to have my kids second chance. Thanks for taking the time to read Eric’s story.

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cloverr-fields · 7 years

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All odd numbers of the cute asks

Oh goodness, this is gonna be a long one but here we go!!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Probably one of my roommates, but not in like a walking-talking sense! It was more like she came into my room and took my hand lol

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? A bunch of people, actually! I’m looking forward to seeing my best friend when she sleeps over this week, and I’m looking forward to seeing my mom and other best friend when I go back home in three months.

5. If you were drunk, would the person you like take care of you? Without question, although I think I’d be okay! I don’t usually get drunk, and I’m generally the friend who’s taking care of people lol. They’d probably be laughing at my ridiculousness a lot.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I mean, I don’t know….. Would I like to be? Ideally, but I’m also in the middle of classes and I don’t really know how that’d work out practically.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nope~ I’m really open about those kinds of things tbh.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Let me go find it…. “Ohhh okay” (Sorry, I know it’s pretty unexciting)

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yes yes yes yes yessssss it is the number one thing to do that calms me right down (besides hugs).

15. What good thing happened this summer? This past summer, I spent most of my time in camp and with friends, and that was super fun. I got really close with people that I didn’t expect to! Also, I moved to Israel!

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Define life. Bacteria and other protozoic life forms, definitely. I don’t know if I totally buy into the idea of intelligent life forms on other planets and aliens like the Hollywood movies show.

19. Do you like bubble baths? I love them, but I don’t take them very often. Lush is one of my favorite stores, I love bath time products.

21. What are your bad habits? I bite my nails sometimes, but I’m trying to get over that and I’m managing it really well! I’m also a tapper, and I tend to grind my teeth/hum when I’m not paying attention. I also chew gum a lot and bite the little clip things off of mechanical pencils…..

23. Do you have trust issues? Some, yeah. Depends on with who and regarding what, though. I stopped journaling for a long while because of trust issues, but I’m super open with people and I consider everyone trustworthy until proven otherwise, in most cases!

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My stomach. I hate it.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I wish I was more tan, but otherwise not really!

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yeah.

31. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail? I refuse to cut my hair so short that it would not be. So yes, absolutely.

33. Spell your name with your chin. eliusahewv casYes, that is definitely my name. Not too far off tho!

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV hands down. I depend on music like you wouldn’t believe.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? Usually nothing tbh…. I’m not really the one to break them. But I usually try and do an “anyway” segway or something like that.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Lush, Bath and Body Works, Barnes and Nobles, Target, Macy’s, Bloomingdales.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yes, but a limited one. Your second chance with me is usually your last, and if you hurt me again I drop you entirely. I try to keep that my policy, but there are definitely exceptions.

43. Do you smile at strangers? Absolutely. I smiled at a bunch today!

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Talking to my friends, and my alarm clock. Also, eventually I just get fed up with my own laziness too, so there’s that.

47. Have you ever been high? No, and I don’t plan on it.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out? Yes, and I really hope that they don’t. It was nothing bad, before you get any ideas! It’s just…. Something personal, if that makes sense?

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes, and I still do at times. That’s something I’m trying to work on.

53. Favorite makeup brand? The only brand name things of makeup I have come from Bobbi Brown, I think, so maybe I’ll default to them? Or Mac?

55. Favorite blog? I don’t really have one, honestly…. I like a lot of different bloggers and people!

57. Favorite food? Pizza, hands down.

59. First thing you ate this morning? Wacky mac. I didn’t have a very nutritional breakfast.

61. Ever been suspended/expelled? For what? Oh God no. I think I would die.

63. Ever been in love? This is a complicated question. I’ve had a lot of strong feelings for people before, but I think there’s maybe one person I would say that I’ve been in love with. We broke things off a while ago, and we’re good friends now, but I still have a lot of feelings for her.

65. Are you hungry right now? I’m so hungry tbh I’m waiting for my roommate to get out of the shower so that we can go pick up sushi.

67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook, but simply because I don’t use my Twitter like ever.

69. Are you watching TV right now? Nope! I’m looking between this answer and the question list lol

71. Craving something? What? Sushi omg I want it so bad I’m so hungry

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? I do, actually! I have a teddy bear that my mom gave me when I last was home, and it helps me sleep at night when I’m homesick or in a bad place. I’m a very touchy-huggy person so to me it’s a big help.

75. Favorite animal? Any form of feline. I love cats.

77. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate all the way.

79. What color shirt are you wearing? Black, actually! It’s got a pretty blue and white pattern/design thing too!

81. Favorite TV show? Ummm probably Psych? Not sure, I have to think on this one a little more. Maybe Bones?

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? I’ve never seen the second one, so Mean Girls?

85. Favorite character from Mean Girls? Karen. (I think? It’s been a while since I’ve watched it)

87. First person you talked to today? It was either @justanotherurl-not or @mizuritamanami but I don’t know for certain.

89. Name a person you hate? A particular girl from high school might fit this description. For her privacy, I’ll just call her Sam.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? At this exact moment, no.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? So many pairs omg. My high school gave them out religiously.

95. Last movie you watched? The Greatest Showman (WHICH EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH IT’S SO GOOD)

97. Favorite actor? Ummm not sure. That’s a very good question. Probably someone like Leonardo DiCaprio, or Chris Evans maybe?

99. Have any pets? No, unfortunately, but I plan on getting a cat sometime soon!

101. Do you type fast? Yeah, and I can more or less touch type now! I’ve memorized my laptop keyboard lol thanks Mavis Beacon!

103. Can you spell well? Usually I’m very good with spelling. My mom likes to joke that it’s because I read the dictionary when I was younger (which I did, so maybe she has a point).

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? The only one that might qualify I’m not going to count, so nope! Maybe someday!

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes, and I love horseback riding so much. I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn’t gone- it’s so relaxing and I had the best time doing it.

109. Is something irritating you right now? Someone, but yes. It’s not their fault, though, so I probably won’t say anything to them.

111. Do you have trust issues? I think this was already a question on this ask….?

113. What was your childhood nickname? It’s not really shorter than my name, but my mom used to call me her “princess ballerina.”

115. Do you play the Wii? I did, but I haven’t in four or five years, since we moved and never unpacked it.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Who doesn’t?

119. Favorite book? Right now, probably The Somnabulist by Jonathan Bates, but I love almost every book I’ve read. The Eragon series is also one of my favorites, and I love classical literature, like A Tale of Two Cities and The Sun Also Rises.

121. Are you mean? I can be, if I want to or have to be. But I hate it, so I try very hard to steer clear.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? I can’t keep any shoes clean.

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes, but I believe that it’s usually something that grows with time and isn’t just magically found.

127. What makes you happy? Music, good food, friends, a good book, a good movie, rewatching old anime series that I haven’t seen in a while, etc. Flowers, cats, pretty things. I’m a girl of simple pleasures.

129. What’s your zodiac sign? Taurus! (April 28th is my birthday!)

131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? This one hits a little close to home at the moment. It depends on the circumstances.

133. Favorite lyrics right now? “She’s the tear in my heart/she’s a carver/she’s a butcher with a smile/cut me farther than I’ve ever been,” -Tear in My Heart, twenty one pilots

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I really don’t know. Maybe that I was British? but I wound up fooling the teacher for two weeks, so.

137. How tall are you? 5′4″!

139. Brunette or blonde? I’ve always wanted to be a blonde, but I have recently started liking my hair (I’m a brunette) although I definitely have a thing for blondes.

141. Night or day? Night has always been more peaceful to me, but I love the sunshine. Maybe like twilight time?

143. Are you a vegetarian? No, but I could be if I wanted to!

145. Tea or coffee? Tea is what I like better, but I definitely appreciate a good cup of coffee with plenty of milk and sugar.

147. Mars or Snickers? I had a Mars bar for the first time this year, and I definitely prefer it.

149. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely. I love watching all of the ghost hunting shows, even though I know they’re bullshit and I kinda believe them lol

Okay!! I made it through all of them! I hope the answers were satisfactory and thank you so much for asking, you wonderful person!!!

Ask me anything This ask list

#Anon ask #Answered #Oh goodness this was a lot!!#But I'm so flattered that you asked me #Thank you so much for the questions and I hope you're doing well!!#Sending all the best~

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a-broken-potato · 4 years

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Well, I guess if I’m gonna use this as a coping mechanism I might as well tell my story. Here we go, ⚠️TW⚠️ this includes blood, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse references, self harm mentions, running away, etc read at your own risk.⚠️

So I was born to a teen mom, she was 16 when she got pregnant. She married my birth father in a shotgun wedding after she found out. He was in and out of prison most of my childhood so he wasn’t there much and my birth parents were never very faithful to each other (they are still married today but have multiple kids with other people and are dating other people.) things were okay for a while, I lived in Arizona for the first four months of my life then my birth mother and I moved up to montana to live with my current parents (my biological grandparents on my biodads side) I lived there till I was about 18 months, a year and a half old and that’s when things started turning south. I was soon taken in the middle of the night in November of 2002, my birth mother decided to run and she took me with her. She took me up to a place in Montana where it’s mostly mountains and forest and not many people. There we shared a house with her best friend and her best friends boyfriend. She never rlly took care of me much, she’d go to work and then she’s get back and her friend would go to work but instead of taking care of me she’d have sex with her friends boyfriend or go to party or drink or do drugs or whatever else she could find to do. I’d wander in the woods by myself sometimes, looking for food or just exploring like a child my age does. I would see my current parents every couple of weeks but then my now mom found out some of the stuff that was going on and called CPS. My birth mother ran yet again. She took me to Oregon where we spent quite a lot of time. She then started dating this guy, I’m gonna call him Mike. Most of my problems began with Mike. Things were okay for a couple weeks then things started going bad. Both he and my bio mom did drugs and drank a lot so a when he’d do things most of the time it was because he was on drugs. One day started hitting her and yelling at her. Then when he couldn’t get enough he would also take it out on me but he didn’t just hit me or yell at me, he’d also touch me. He got worse and worse until the day I went into state coustody. He was so doped up on drugs he slashed his wrist and started writing on the wall with blood. My birth mother was so scared she called the cops to come and get him but then they saw drugs in her purse and arrested her too. I went into foster care that day. I went to two different houses, I was one of the lucky ones, my parents now found me pretty quick after I went in and started fostering me. One of the houses I went to, they had a lot of kids. One of the older ones tho, he was 18 at the time, he would scare me intentionally all the time, and sometimes yell at me. The other house I don’t remember much about, just this little toy that was on the side of my bed. It was a little aquarium with fish in it and a yellow knob on the bottom, and if you turn the knob it plays music and the fish swim around (I’m still trying to find this thing so if anyone knows what I’m talking about or knows where I can get one please let me know!). I remember my nose being stopped up and I was scared cause I couldn’t breath so I wound that thing up and it calmed me down and I fell asleep. I was placed with my current Danton February of 2006 but because of my birth mother not wanting me to be with them I wasn’t adopted until April of 2007 (around my 4th birthday). We then moved to Colorado, where we currently live. My birth father has caused me a lot of emotional problems too, due to him just disappearing for years at a time and just coming back and thinking things can go back to the way they were before.

My memories of the above were mostly repressed until the past couple of years. Idk why I’ve been remembering but I have and I will update this post as I remember more. Sometimes I’ll start remembering something and I’m basically in a trance or I start crying my eyes out or, sometimes, I’ll remember in the form of nightmares and will wake up crying or, in some rare cases, screaming.

My parents don’t rlly believe I’m able to remember all of that but I am.

So fast forward to about 6, I went to a new church one day with my family and I ended up meeting this girl named Katy. She was my best friend, de did everything together, she was constantly over at my house, and when we weren’t together we were on the phone. She was my best friend for about 5 years, then things began to turn south. She found out she was bi, which I was completely fine with but she started forcing me to be in a relationship with her. She took my first kiss (but I count my actual first kiss with my current boyfriend bc I didn’t want the other one to happen but I wanted this one to happen) and ended up raping me multiple times. She ghosted me a couple months after I asked her if we could go back to being friends.

This next part isn’t necessarily trauma but it’s the after effects of it.After I was adopted I had a lot of problems. I was angry all the time, sometimes to the point I’d hit my mom. I have a fear of leaving my house cause I’m afraid I’m never coming back. When I was 12 I started acting out. First I started talking to my birth mother and planning to run away to her, my memory was still mostly blocked at that time and I had this delusion that the only true family was blood. Anyway, I started planning to run to her, well my actual mom found out and I got in big trouble

Skip forward a year and I’m in a vacation bible school in June of 2016 I was 13 and just starting to remember things. I had been depressed for as long as I could remember and I had started cutting when I was 7 but I always only did it in the winter bc I could wear long sleeves without suspicion. Well I ended up relapsing in the middle of June. My vbs teacher found out and said I had to tell my mom by the next day or she would. I started planning to run again but this time I invited a friend I had made at vbs. She knew about my cutting and I felt safe asking her, well she told her mom who then told the teacher who told my mom. I didn’t tell my mom how long I’d been doing this but I did say it had happened before. I still remember my dads words, “I’m not mad, honey, I’m just disappointed”. I didn’t stop that year tho. I only actually stopped cutting last year in May of 2019 (I say cutting bc I now have other things that hurt myself just I less harmful ways, like digging my nails into my skin or slapping myself with a rubber band or purposely running into walls)

2017 I was caught shoplifting. I was in kohl’s with my parents and started nicking just little things. Well I didn’t avoid the cameras well and the caught me. I can still see my mom crying her eyes out, so disappointed in her girl. I still have the papers bc I even though I can’t stand looking at them, I can’t bring myself to throw them away either. I somehow managed to make it out with a warning instead of going to juvie.

I am not able to say no to people, even if I don’t want to I try and help them. I just can’t say no to anyone. I’m getting a little better now though with the help of my boyfriend.

I’ve had multiple eating disorders as well but I’m not gonna get into those.

I’m otherwords I’m a fucked up human and I’m learning more things about both my past and my future every day

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eurusholmmes · 7 years

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Baby Howlett (II) | Old Man Logan

You can read Part One here

So you guys have been demanding for this to be written since April, and I thought.. well, why not? But I’m going to make this clear now, there will not be a third part to this fic. I just wanted to kick off for whenever I open all Logan requests again sometimes within the first or second week of June!

Previously - Logan learns of your pregnancy through Lauras confession.

Now - Snippets of the most precious times throughout your pregnancy lead you up to one of the happiest days of your life; the birth of your daughter y/d/n Howlett.

Warnings: none? Logan is head over heels for his daughter????

ITALICS ARE FLASHBACKS; flashbacks are a sonogram appointment and Logan meeting your baby for the first time. Anything in regular text is present.

Guys, when I open my Logan requests again, I’m going to finish the fics with no links in my Masterlist; AND THEN I AM ONLY TAKING THE FIRST DOZEN REQUESTS. I have no motivation to write for Logan anymore (I still love him tho) and would much rather write for someone else given that he has the most prompts of any character in my masterlist.

Tag List: @rivertales @drewkelliii @house-of-penguin @weasleytheking @xavier-chxrles @hookedonawolverine @tigers-have-teeth @buckybabble @liveourlifelikenobodyelse @agirlinherhead @katiedreamy

“So, were you ever going to plan to tell me about our kid, or was it always gonna be Laura who told me?”

Much to your displeasure, you’d woken up the following morning only to find out that Laura had told Logan about your pregnancy that you’d been managing rather well up until that point. “I was going to tell you, genius.” You retorted, sitting up at the waist as Logan moved to slide into his side of the bed. “I was just..”

“Afraid?”

Truth of the matter, you’d been terrified of your pregnancy. Logan had had a rather difficult time adjusting to Laura, so how would he feel about a child with you? He was ancient.. so much older then anyone you had ever known. His heart couldn’t take the pain of possible loss of a child, much less your child.

“Yeah, I was terrified. I wasn’t sure how you’d react to hearing that I was pregnant. It took you so long to get used to Laura-” Your eyes widened as a single finger pressed against your lips before Logan shimmied down the bed, lips skimming over the growing swell of your stomach. Your heart skipped a beat as he palmed your stomach with his opposite hand. “Logan.. what are you doing?”

“Hi baby.” He murmured to himself, ignoring your awed gaze as he pondered his next words. “I know I’m not a prime candidate for fatherhood, but I can promise you that I’m going to be the best father to you and your sister as I can be.” Your hands flew to your mouth as tears pricked the back of your eyes, your throat closing up as you struggled to silence your sobs. “Because no matter what happens, I’m gonna give you a better life then I ever got to live.”

The following months of your pregnancy were some of the most beautiful.. and some of the most intriguing. You saw a side of Logan that you’d never come face to face with the entire time the two of you had known each other, and it melted your heart to know that Logan Howlett adored his unborn daughter.

So when the day came for her to be born.. He was the literal definition of a walking disaster whenever you’d been wheeled into labor and delivery to bring your daughter y/d/n into the world.

“So, would you like to know the sex of your baby?” The doctor asked, gaze flickering between you and Logan as you casually laid on the exam table. Logan sat at your side with your hand clasped in his own. You turned your head far enough to look into his eyes, finger tracing up the length of his forearm.

“You want to meet your baby, Logan?”

He slowly lifted his head up to glance at the doctor before nodding. “Go for it Doc. What are we having?” The doctor moved the sonogram piece over your stomach before grinning widely at you.

“It’s a girl.”

You had watched several different emotions flicker across his face as your fingers wrapped around the sonogram photo, preparing to go back out to the car and to your house. “So.. disappointed it’s another girl?” You teased. You half expected him to grunt out a response, but instead he gripped your waist and twirled you around in the parking lot. Your cacophony of laughter echoed in the morning air as Logan settled you back down on the ground and pulled you as close to him as possible, hands tangling in your hair and his face pressed into your neck.

“Oh no. I’m over the moon.”

You woke to the gentle sound of your heart monitor, the gentle thrum of your heartbeat echoing against the hospital room walls as you slowly roused from your slumber. Your labor had been relatively easy according to the labor and delivery nurses, who had been your rocks throughout the entire delivery. Logan and Laura had gone home for the night with promises to return early that next morning after you’d gotten a good nights sleep.

“Morning gorgeous.” Logan whispered as he entered the room. “It’s just after nine. Laura’s right outside the door. You feelin’ any better?” You nodded weakly as Logan snatched the cup of ice chips and took your hand to wrap your fingers around the cup. “I saw y/d/n again, in the nursery. The nurse said she’d bring her by later.”

“Mr. Howlett?” Logans eyes snapped upward from where he stood at your bedside, his hand clasped in your own as you pushed through the pain of your delivery. He’d been in a fog as your screams echoed in the air before they dissipated, only to be filled with the hysterical cries of a newborn. “Would you like to meet your daughter?”

Your heart melted as you watched Logan timidly take the pink swaddle of blankets into his arms, his finger gliding along her cheek as she curled into his touch.

“Welcome to the world, sweet girl.”

You sighed in relief as you swallowed several ice chips before your gaze settled back on Logan. “I thought your fragile heart was going to explode whenever you held y/d/n yesterday. It was.. It was the sweetest thing I think I’ve ever seen you do.” You confessed, grinning widely when he rolled his eyes.

“You make me sound like a sap.”

To prove your point, you whistled lowly to invite the nurse in and watched Logans expression change from one of annoyance to wonder as the nurse handed your daughter to her father. All it took was a fraction of a second to look at her and he was gone.

“My point exactly. I hate to break it to you tough guy,” You replied. “But the birth of your own baby girl, our baby girl, has turned you into a sap. There’s no coming back from it now.”

You watched. Watched him wake up in the middle of the night to change her diaper, play with her as she got older, make the most ridiculous facial expressions to make her laugh. Your daughters laughter was his favorite sound. Laura had taken the role of Older Sister very seriously - even going as far as to teach her the things she’d learned when the three of you had found out she was a mutant.

“No. Don’t get up.” Your alarm clock read 3:56 AM as Logan slowly ambled out of bed and towards your daughters nursery since she had woken up. When he was gone you slowly followed suit, pulling his flannel tight around your frame as you leaned against the frame of the doorway to the bright pink nursery. “y/d/n, I am so regretting ever painting this freaking nursery such an ugly color.” Your lips parted in a soft smile as Logan took y/d/n from her crib and cuddled her close to his chest, her cheek resting against his shoulder. “Did you have a nightmare, darling? Don’t worry. They aren’t real. I get them all the time too.” Logan ran his hand over y/d/n darkening patch of hair as he slowly rocked back and forth. “You’re not going to understand any of this now.. but I will never let you be exposed to life like your mom and I knew it. Life for you.. It’s so much more beautiful then the tragedy we had to go through. There’s love and laughter and happiness and an overabundance of beauty where you’re going to grow up.. and it’s wonderful. You’re going to have a wonderful life, y/d/n. And you want to know why?” His eyes flickered up to the doorway where you stood, his salt and pepper hair bright in contrast to the dimness of the lamp behind him as y/d/n fell back asleep. “Because you have something we didn’t. You have love, and parents who love you and a sister who adores you too. That alone... that’s alot of love.”

You knelt down beside the rocking chair and cradled the back of your daughters head, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to Logans cheek. “And a mom who loves your daddy.” His eyes flickered over to meet your own for a fraction of a second; and in that moment, your entire world ceased to exist. There was only him. There was only the two of you, in your home, with your baby. “Very very much.”

What more could you want?

#old man logan x reader #old man logan #Logan 2017 #xmen imagines #xmen oneshots #Kayla Grace writes imagines #logan howlett #james howlett #logan howlett x reader

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judaru · 8 years

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Year End Writing Progress Meme

Ahh, I’ve seen a lot of people in the magi fandom doing @dragonofeternal‘s writing meme, and it looked really fun so I thought that I would give it a shot! This year has been really fun for me in terms of writing, and I’ve never really written much before like, September of this year, so I thought it would be fun to reflect on all of the writing and improvement that I’ve done this year! ♡

[Here is my AO3 in case anyone was wondering! I write a lot of Sinju while crying I just… I just want them to be happy so bad *prayer emoji*]

Total Word Count: 77,415 -AO3: 61,873 -WIPs: 4,000 -Planning: 11,542

Total Projects: 14 (most are still just planning tho OTL) Magi: 14 (I also have planning for some Arslan Senki and Twin Signal stuff, but that’s the kind of self-indulgent thing that won’t ever get posted and lives at the bottom of my drafts, so I didn’t think it was worth mentioning ^^;)

Types of Fanfic Projects: -Chaptered Fics: 2 -Oneshots: 5 -WIP/Unposted: 7

Improvement over last year: Infinity LMAO I didn’t really write anything last year! I kinda dabbled in Edvy and stuff but… I don’t really talk about that anymore lmao

AWARDS

Top 3 projects I wrote the most for: 1) Melt (49,629) 2) Mistletoe (3,006) 3) Stay (2,386) (I guess it’s pretty easy to tell where all my effort went… lmaO)

Top 3 most popular by kudos: 1) Melt (150) 2) Stay (47) 3) Ocean’s Kiss (31) (tbh I’m like… really overwhelmed with all of the kudos I’ve gotten ghsudfksfsd I was honestly expecting like a dozen odd kudos and a paperclip because I’ve really just.. never posted writing before?? So the positive feedback was really overwhelming and I cry a lot LMAO)

Top 3 most popular by comment threads: 1) Melt (62) 2) Ocean’s Kiss (11) 3) Stay (6) (Obviously Melt won out because… I’ve put my whole life into it lmaO but I was really really surprised that the Mermaid AU did so well?? Everyone seemed to really like that one kdfjsfs so I’m really excited to write more of it in the coming months !!)

Most fun to write: Oh man rfsjdkhgj I have a lot of fun writing in general aaaaaah that’s why I post so much and clog the archive all the time omg I’m sorry? I think the winner is probably Ocean’s Kiss, my Sinju mermaid AU :’) The concept of a mermaid AU has always been very dear to my heart–the first thing I ever did in magi fandom was actually a mermaid AU rp with my friend–so I had planned to write it from the beginning, tbh? It just took me a while to get to, but it’s just so so much fun to write, I think Judal definitely fits the role of troublemaking siren, with Sinbad as his idiot pirate of course :’) god i love them im gonna start crying Sexiest moment: lmao im 15 and inexperienced and really, really not good at writing sexy scenes sorry @ all of my readers who arent minors hgrfudkfhfj but I guess Burn was fun to write lmao? it was masshar and it was supposed to have a blowjob scene but then i remembered that.. i dont know how to write porn.. so it was just needy sharrkan and grinding gudfkjfsdhc but it was fun i guess Funniest moment: im literally not good at any of these hdiufks my humor scenes fall SO FLAT i hate it but i was laughing at myself in the mermaid au because every time judal smacked sinbad in the face with his tail i felt 10 years being added onto my lifespan tbh.. i was cackling ND ALSO in melt any time ja’far is talking to sinbad about judal frsdkjgvhd i liked those scenes.. every time ja’far said shit like “i mean he’s cute but he can’t be here sin” i laughed @ myself Hardest to write: group settings ugh please kill me i hate when im writing and there’s twelve people in the scene like i’m bound to forget 7 of them its just the nature of the beast? exhausting. like every chapter in melt where there’s a festival and all the generals are there is so harD for me *eyeroll emoji* and i have one more festival scene planned so its gonna have to happen AGAIN and im gonna suffer Big Time™ Biggest Disappointment: i vastly underestimated both the size and demand for masshar fic and i was kinda sad when it only got like 5 kudos hrifgj i really thought there was still a masshar ship community but there wasNT and it flopped lmao. but i still like writing masshar and honestly i’d probably do it again tbh? it was still fun :^) Most Surprising: ocean’s kiss hdsufkfgs lmao that thing got comments from people who hadn’t showed up in the sinju fandom for months to years and i was crying the whole time.. it was a fic that meant a lot to me too so the fact that it got so much sweet feedback really made me ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ Favorite story of the year: probably melt tbh :,) i put my heart and soul into that fic and the fact that it did much, much better than i’d first anticipated just made me so happy ♡ its about halfway done now and I can’t wait to tell the rest of it!! i have so many plans I am crying Something I want to revisit: like, half the chapters in melt ghfudeilfjge anD ALSO THE HOLIDAY AUS i wrote them when i was really sad and upset for Reasons so they weren’t as cheery as i would’ve liked :( first snow was cuter because it was posted later and i was happier then but.. mistletoe was written when i was :V about a lot of things so I’d like to rewrite it someday.. maybe next christmas :’)

What writing risks did I take and how did they pay off: I.. honestly didn’t take that many risks? I think the biggest risk that I ever could’ve taken was to write for myself. I really really tried to write only things that made me happy, and I was really nervous as to how the reception of that would be, but it turned out really well!! I’ve got a lot of sweet comments and feedback from readers, and the response was more than I every could’ve asked for ♡ Writing goals for 2017: my goal is to finish Melt before the end of the school year, preferably before the end of April. I also just really wanna try harder to stick to my freaking update schedule because, like, some people are banging out a solid 7k every week, people with JOBS, and I’m still in high school and I can barely finish my measly 4k by Sunday ghfdklrgjdj. I just need to work harder on time management tbh, but overall I just wanna write more in 2017!

This was really fun to do!! Thanks again to dragonofeternal for sharing their template, I think doing these meme really helped me get my thoughts together and decide where to go with my writing in 2017. I can’t wait to write more for the new year! ♡

#magi #sinju #my writing #lmao i kinda lost hold on grammar like halfway through this and just started bsing everything #its like 1am nd im TIRED #but this was fun :^)#thanks for sharing the template!

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sizzlingcrusadebouquetfan-blog · 6 years

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