#again this remains my trek writing tag sorry ->

[muirmarie]

Her hand is soft and warm as it settles against the back of his neck, but her eyes are dark and determined, and he thinks, helplessly, of that steel core in her that he's always admired. He'd admired it from a distance at the Academy, but as the years passed and they'd grown closer, it was something he could always look to to shore up his resolve—thinks, sometimes—hopes—that she looks for the same in him.

They've talked about it before, late at night, whatever celebration that had originally drawn them together having long dwindled away, the two of them gravitating together as they so often do: they've talked about being the people others look to to keep them together.

Jim and Spock, they'll rush headlong into danger.

The two of them, she'd said once, her and Leonard, they walk right into it, eyes wide open.

Her eyes are open now, aren't they, open and boring into him, begging him to understand. He doesn't, can't even begin to know what she wants from him, but he hopes she knows he'll still follow her lead. Follow her anywhere, he thinks.

She'd certainly be a better leader than he was, since he's the reason the two of them were taken, him and his goddamn need to—

But they've fought about that already, haven't they. Haven't they had that fight sixteen ways from Sunday in the two weeks they've been here. They got the kids out, and as she's repeatedly reminded him, she'd chosen to follow him and his mad dash, she'd chosen—

Well, he thinks, hoping she can see the easy capitulation in his eyes. He's choosing, too.

She tugs him down, and she's not soft with it now—she's pulling him into her like she's got to, like she'll die if he doesn't touch her, doesn't kiss her, and he's helpless here, too, isn't he, his mouth opening against hers, his hands sliding to her waist, to her lower back—

He's always loved to learn how a person kisses, loves to find their rhythm and learn to match it, match it and then change it just enough to make them both off-balance, just enough to—

She makes a little noise in the back of her throat, her other hand tightening against his shoulder, and he stutters with it, his hand sliding lower as he pulls her against him, as she tries her best to climb inside of him, or maybe pull him inside of her, he thinks, dizzy with it—

He's never let himself think about kissing her before, and now he thinks he'll never be able to stop, never be able to breathe without thinking about her mouth hot and sweet against his, never—

She shifts until both her arms are looped around his neck, and he knows what she's doing before she does it, his hand sliding under her thigh as she hitches her legs up around his waist, his other hand fisting in her hair, and he thinks—

"All right, all right, I think that's enough of a goodbye," Garred laughs, for once sounding genuinely amused. "If I'd known you wanted to give the crew a show, I'd have taken advantage of it earlier, but your ride's almost here, honey, so if you have any last words for him, you better say them, now."

something just reminded me of an AOS Uhura/Spock/McCoy post-Beyond idea I had like a week ago, and this time I'm NOT gonna tag spiral in some poor person's tags, so:

I think this was actually part of a dream, tbh? But specifically, McCoy and Uhura were captured, and they were being their normal badass selves together, and then Uhura was going to be released for some reason - I think maybe they wanted to keep McCoy for his medical knowledge? That's how I'd write it at least, so the Enterprise couldn't manage to secure his release. And Uhura, who had been told the entire story about her necklace by Spock (McCoy is unaware of this until Right Now) is basically like:

let me say goodbye to my boyfriend (McCoy, gulping: boyfriend?)

goes up to McCoy and kisses him - like. really KISSES him.

without turning around is like "I want to give him something to remember me by"

all the captors are like, hootin' and hollerin' at the smooching, and are like, yeah, we get that, you two are obviously passionately in love, go for it

she puts Spock's necklace around McCoy's neck, ensuring they can track him

like three weeks later they bust down the door to his cell and bring him home, and McCoy's far too aware of the way both Spock and Uhura's gazes keep going back to the necklace still around his neck

after he's healed up and released from Medbay and everything, and he tries to give it back to Uhura, she pulls a chain out of her shirt, and is like, oh, Spock already gave me a new necklace - if you don't want to keep that one, that's between you and him, but I think it suits you.

he tries to give it back to Spock, kind of half-heartedly trying to also, like, apologize for kissing Uhura or whatever, and Spock's like "the necklace symbolizes affection and love, and my girlfriend gave it to you, are you trying to say you don't accept her love and affection, because that is illogical"

and McCoy is just "...."

and Spock, with lots of determination and extremely poor skills, soldiers on like, "in fact, given that I first gave it to Nyota, your refusal to accept it is also by transitive properties refusing me, as well"

and McCoy is just "what the fuck are you talking about"

and Uhura leans into the room like "he's doing an extremely bad job of propositioning you on both our behalves"

and McCoy is "WHAT"

and Uhura's "take off your clothes and leave the necklace on, what's not making sense, chop chop"

and Spock just, like, nods.

and McCoy drags his hands across his face, and then, y'know.

Takes off his clothes, but leaves the necklace on.

chop chop.

[chris-continues]

Okiiii

Only one bed in the booked hotel room trope? 👀 (not nsfw obv) I read something similar to this but it was Vash so maybe a Nai version?

Star wars convention with Vash? (If u do dis one and if u need any help feel free to ask me anything cuz im a huge star wars nerd)

Vampire Vash and/or Nai?

CARNIVAL!!!! I wonder if the brothers would compete to see who can win the most prizes, also watching the fireworks on the ferris wheel would b cute

Beach episode? 👀👀

Sorry if it's alot-

(I love your au's so much oml, you write all the characters beautifully ♡)

AAA TYSM I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT imma screenshot this message/ask and use it a few times probably but the one that caught my eye most is vampire au PLS SEND SO MANY ASKS ABT VAMP AU I need to write more stuff on it

Ngl I’m most willing to write suggestive stuff for vampire au bc bro… 0///0

Lonely nights lead to delectable frights <3

In which two vampires with extreme charm have you wrapped around your finger (when in reality it’s them wrapped around your finger). (To be added on to, I wanted to expand on this more later lol)

WARNINGS/TAGS: mentions of depression/loneliness (reader runs into the woods to be alone but also craving companionship), gender neutral reader

Vampire Vash and Vampire Knives meeting reader! I’ll add onto this in separate pieces but I haven’t set a definitive timeline yet!! So any drabbles written may deviate from the last piece

I was debating on writing this in Victorian era type beat or modern au (because I’ve written vampire Nai modern au) but I asked my fav vamp lover @coffinbeananteiku and her word is final 🫡 (I needed to ask someone to decide for me I’m very indecisive sometimes)

Tags: @lune010 @vashfantasy

The dusk of a new night greets you as you run. Far, far away. You had nowhere to go, your feet leading you wherever the wind took you. Nothing truly important lay back in town, perhaps a few less than noteworthy friends in society who’d given an artificial smile and obligatory wave.

Nothing to go back to.

So of course you’d been an idiot to run into the woods. You have one horrible day, and rather than wallowing at home like usual you make the horrid decision to run when others keep berating you for it, fine attire catching on brambles you’d almost tripped over as the haphazard movements of yours fell to a halt. How far had you run? How far did your stress carry you?

Alone. Just as you wished and terrified. Only the moss at your feet and rather barren branches accompanied you, horrors of the night awaiting your person.

Wonderful. Wonderful.

You breathed in shakily, only to exhale into a sob. God, you were tired, so so very tired.

You eventually lifted your head to observe your surroundings. Eerie; yet a welcome sight compared to the bustling cobblestone streets of town, quiet, perhaps too quiet. The wind whistles past your ears in its reverie, encompassing you fully into the charm of the night.

This could be good, you attempt to reassure yourself. That thought is fleeting as you attempt to appreciate the short lived tranquility and struggle to backtrack. It’s futile.

You have no way back. So what must you do? Trudge forward. The next town could be for miles, you have no money and certainly no mode of transportation besides your already exhausted two feet.

You trek forward.

Not long after, your loneliness returns. The peaceful night soon digs into your heels once again, dragging your already worried mind into further disquietude. Your arms wrap around yourself in poor manner to shield yourself from the further night’s chill, vision hazy from the little light and paranoia suffocating you.

But nevertheless, you persist. You were stubborn in that way, never knowing quite when to stop despite the fear you’d be too much. Even now, when you’d done too much, by leaving town entirely to the welcoming yet terrifying arms of the woods did you remain stubborn. In a will to survive? In the pursuit of curiosity? The need for more? To deserve more?

You’d never quite place it, you’re sure. Perhaps all of the above.

Such thoughts plague you as you unknowingly stare down at your feet, eventually reaching a cobblestone pathway.

Your neck snaps up to see- ruins? No, it’s far too neatly kept for that. A castle, complete with gates and stone pathways; warm torches lit at the sides if you squinted from the faraway grounds of the gates. Cool moonlight acted as your light as you traversed forward, feet picking up. Perhaps you could try to see if it was abandoned, fashion yourself a place for the night! Hopefully no dangers resided here, in such a domestic place. Well, perhaps it wasn’t the most welcoming of homes but it certainly was a new sight amongst what surrounded you. Ah, yes, dead trees, dead trees, and.. woah! More dead trees!

..so, quite the refreshing sight.

The pats of your feet are the only noise you truly process, the gates creaking with movement as you walk closer to the manor.

Large metal rings the size of your head hung heavily at the double doors. Should you knock? They appeared to be in usable condition.. so you supposed, lifting one knocker with your dominant hand.

A heavy boom resounded as you dropped it. You’d never really used one- just accustomed to the usual rapping of knuckles on doors, or a verbal call whilst entering a room.

“You appear unfamiliar.” A voice suddenly husks behind you, making you nearly jump out of your skin.

You whipped around quickly, “Holy shit!-“ for someone in the Victorian era, your modern slang (profanity) was rather proficient. Standing before you was someone cold and cunning, towering over you intensely. His presence demanded attention, the need to stand straight and not let him out of your sight in fear of what he could do.

The wind whistled in your ears once more. Like a taunt that it could run far away from here, unlike you. His domineering white- no, almost white, pale blue eyes stared down at you. He seemed inhuman.

Your mind seemed scrambled in a feeble attempt to explain yourself, “Sorry I uh, was walking and needed someplace to stay for the night..”

His eyebrow arches in amusement. “So you decided to reside here?”

The crunching of leaves is what alerts you to a new presence behind the.. man who’d confronted you, wisps of blonde hair peeking from over his shoulder until he stood next to him. “Aw, that’s no way to treat a visitor!” He gave a sweet, yet strangely tight lipped smile. “I’m Vash, this is Nai. It’s wonderful to meet you.” A partially gloved hand adorned in lace outstretches towards yours in a pleasant handshake, small tears in the fabric from overuse. It’s a paradoxical feeling of ‘rough lace’, yet it suits him rather well.

You hesitantly greet yourself, voice meek with unfamiliarity and worry. An introduction slips past your lips albeit shaky voice, he remains ever so friendly and opens the door for you, the.. Nai guy taking care to briskly zoom past and ignore your very presence.

How kind. He’s taken a liking to you.

Vash merely brushes it off as usual banter, perhaps it’s nothing personal, you assume. He seemed unbothered overall and didn’t really acknowledge anything, that much you could observe just from his behaviors so far.

It’s not of importance, not in your mind at least. What truly caught your attention? The ornate structures in the main hall- carvings of angels in rich marble and stone, hell, even the floors had carvings!

Out of curiosity you dipped your toe into the slight crevices in the ground, feeling the divots of some.. geometric swirls and markings that decorated the beauty of the castle.

“Hey, you coming?” Vash peeked over his shoulder towards you- you’d lost yourself in the beauty of the room. He gave a knowing smile at your wonderment, entrancing chuckle reverberating throughout the tall ceilings. “I was the same way when I first came here, it’s definitely a sight to take in!” He jolts his head to beckon you forward,

“You can stay the night. If you wish.”

What other choice did you really have?

[comfortbucky]

𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆

gif credit: @buckysbarnes

pairing: roommate!bucky x fem!reader

tags: fluffy!/shy!bucky🥺

A/N: so yes i AM obsessed with roommate!bucky and i cannot stop thinking about him … it’s an epidemic innit

sorry if this feels kind of sloppy or rushed but i had this idea come to me today and just had to write it IMMEDIATELY!!!

s/o to my bestie @swtbbybarnes for letting me rant about roommate!bucky daily🤣 <3 i came up with this idea while we were talking hehe (make sure to check out her work! she is so talented!)

word count: 1.2k

my masterlist!

She knew she shouldn't have had that second cup of coffee, but the afternoon slump hit her hard at work and she didn't think she could get through the rest of the day without it. But now, Y/N was lying in bed awake, unable to fall asleep. She tossed and turned in bed, unable to get into a comfortable position. Y/N let out a sigh of defeat as she threw the blankets off of her. There was no shot of her going to bed at a reasonable hour at this point, and she accepted her loss. Y/N climbed out of bed and quietly walked out of her room to grab a glass of water. She carefully shut her bedroom door in an attempt to not disturb her roommate, Bucky.

Y/N couldn’t quite place her finger on it, but something about Bucky drew her to him, though she would never admit it. It might have been his stormy blue eyes, which were a stark contrast to his all-black wardrobe, or the fact that he never revealed anything about himself, other than telling her that he was an army vet, always leaving her wanting to know more. But she was too shy to ask, never wanting to cross any boundaries.

She tiptoed through the living room, silently cursing to herself, as she realized she had left her phone plugged in on her nightstand, forcing her to make her trek to the kitchen without a flashlight. But Y/N had lived in her apartment long enough to map out a path to the kitchen in her head, avoiding any obstacles along the way.

Y/N had made it to the other side of her living room when her foot, unexpectedly, made contact with something hard and metal, causing her to fall over and land on her stomach.

"Shit!" She whispered, quickly moving her legs off of whatever she had tripped over, remaining on the ground. Y/N turned her head to see none other than Bucky, his eyes wide as he stared at Y/N, lying perpendicular to her.

"Bucky?"

"Shit, are you okay?" He mumbled, his voice scratchy from just waking up. Y/N nodded in response and groaned in pain as she slowly started to stand. Bucky quickly scrambled to his feet to help her up. Y/N ignored the warm feeling that rushed to her cheeks when she felt the coldness of his metal hand in hers and the warmth of his flesh hand resting on the small of her back. A soft thank you escaped her lips as Bucky quickly pulled away, moving one of his hands to nervously scratch the back of his head.

"Sorry about that," he said sheepishly, avoiding her gaze, his eyes glued to the floor. Y/N let out a soft laugh.

"It's fine," she started, looking down at Bucky's makeshift bed on the floor, a couple of blankets, and a single pillow for his head. She frowned at the sight. Y/N knew that it was common for vets to sleep on the ground, any mattress being too soft and uncomfortable for them, but couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain seeing Bucky's sleeping arrangement. It seemed that he could never catch a break from the horrors of war, even during something as precious as sleep.

"What are you doing out here anyway?" She finished, looking back up to see Bucky's eyes, a tinge of shame hidden in them. He felt embarrassed when he saw her look at his bed, thinking to himself that she probably thought that he was a freak for sleeping on the ground.

"Bed's too soft for my back," he replied quietly, looking down again, wanting to avoid her gaze.

"I know," Bucky quickly lifted his head to look at her as she spoke tenderly. He saw a soft smile on her face and found himself get caught up in her kind eyes, pulling him in. "I read about that when I was looking up online what it's like for veterans when they return to civilian life."

Bucky froze, trying to process the fact that Y/N had taken the time to learn about post-war life for veterans, for him.

"I meant what are you doing out here?” she gestured to the living room with a slight head nod, her hands fiddling with a loose thread on the end of her t-shirt.

"Couldn't sleep," he replied, after clearing his throat. "Helps to be near the door." Y/N felt a pain in her chest, realizing he must have had a nightmare and needed to be near an exit to relax enough to fall asleep.

"What about you?" His question pulled her from her thoughts.

"Just grabbing a glass of water," she said, walking towards the fridge. She turned her head around. "You want one too?" He nodded in response, slowly following her into the kitchen.

Y/N handed Bucky his cup of water before propping herself up to sit on a countertop, facing him. He leaned back and rested on the island table behind him. They sat in comfortable silence, taking long sips from their glasses, occasionally glancing up at each other and quickly looking away when they saw the other person notice their gaze.

"You know," she spoke slowly, breaking the silence. Bucky looked up to meet her eyes. "If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm always here to listen." She offered a warm smile to Bucky and his knees nearly buckled under him. He returned her smile and nodded in response, unable to find the words to show his thanks. Bucky always knew his roommate was nice, always offering to help him clean up his dishes or making an extra cup of coffee for him in the morning, but it wasn't until tonight when he realized how kindhearted she really was.

When they finished their drinks, Bucky pushed himself off the table, grabbing his cup, and took a step towards Y/N to grab hers to put in the sink. As he leaned towards her to reach for her empty glass, his fingers lightly brushed against hers for a moment, causing him to look up at her, sucking a quick breath in. His eyes met hers, and she let out a shaky breath, seeing that their faces were inches away from each other. Y/N couldn't control her next movements.

She lifted both of her hands to place delicately on Bucky's cheeks, holding his face gently. Y/N searched his eyes for permission and he nodded his head so slightly, allowing her to pull his lips to hers in a slow, soft kiss. He pulled away after a moment, instantly causing Y/N to panic, thinking she did something wrong. Bucky gave her a reassuring kiss on the cheek, grabbing their glasses before moving to put them away in the sink. He returned back to his spot in front of her, gently tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Wanted to give you a proper kiss, darling," he whispered, tilting her chin up with his finger, moving his hands to cup her face and pull her in for another kiss, this one fueled with more passion than the last. She smiled against his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her.

For the first time in years, Bucky finally felt at ease. He didn't need to be near the exit to feel safe anymore, he just needed her, in his arms.

[quiltedgold]

study buddies - leorio p.

pairing: leorio paladiknight x f!reader

wc: 1.9k

genre: smut. 18+ pretty please

contains: smut, unprotected sex, switch!leorio, switch!reader, college-age, handjob, yada yada

notes: this has not been proofread so forgive any mistakes. my friend saw a tiktok art this concept and inspired me to write this. also the empty leorio smut tag made me sad, so. enjoy :p

As you approached the door of your apartment, you dug in your bag for your keys, and… Nothing. No metal against your fingertips or jangling sounds from the depths of the backpack.

Damn it. No way you forgot them in Leorio’s apartment. You two had been studying for so long, and you were positive you had gathered up all your things from the table before heading out…

After one last sweep of your backpack, you were positive. No keys.

Sighing, you turned to make the trek back across campus to Leorio’s place. It wasn’t too far, a fifteen minute walk, ten if you hurried. Hopefully he was still up.

Before long, you were back at the entrance to his apartment complex. Grabbing your phone, you dialed him up and waited as it rang, then went to voicemail. Ah, maybe he was in the shower? No matter, you had a spare key to his place in case of emergencies, and he for yours. He wouldn’t mind if you used it to grab what you needed and got out of there. Fishing it out of your bag, you unlocked the door and headed up to his floor.

Rapping twice on the door, you called out- “Hey, Leorio? It’s me, I forgot something…”

No reply.

Frowning, you slotted the key into the lock and eased the door open, hoping he wasn’t asleep.

Before you saw him, you heard him. Quick, ragged breaths, and the wet, unmistakable sound of… Oh, god.

He was splayed on the couch, his legs spread and his sweatpants loose around his thighs. His head was thrown back against the cushions, facing towards the door, and you. His face was twisted in pleasure, his teeth digging into his lower lip. His sunglasses were nowhere to be seen.

The sounds you heard were coming from his hand wrapped around his dick, rapidly fisting it into his palm. As you watched, his hips stuttered upwards once, and he threw his head back even further, letting out a whine, adam’s apple bobbing up his throat. He looked absolutely debauched.

Your brain battled with your desires, respect for your friend warring with the thoughts raging through your head.

Just when you thought you could work up the courage to leave, Leorio moaned your name in the most breathless, needy tone you’d ever heard from him, followed by a whiny, “Fuck, y/n, please-”

Your feet were immediately frozen to the floor, heart leaping into your throat. Your common sense told you to scram, to shut the door quietly and let him have his privacy and forget this ever happened, for both of your sakes’.

But the other part of you was louder. The part who knew that you’d been lusting after your friend for months, the part who’s encouraged the urge to crawl into his lap and kiss him breathless and more each time you hung out to study, but always been stifled… until now. That part of you made your brain kick into gear again.

You stepped quietly inside, shutting the door behind you, kicking off your shoes and placing your bag on the ground.

You padded over to the couch, face heating up with anticipation as you got closer.

“Leorio…” you whispered, and his eyes flew open, letting out a choked gasp. The hand around his dick halted its ministrations, and he scrambled to pull his sweatpants back up.

“Oh my god, y/n, I’m so sorry, I, I thought you had left-”

“If you were so pent up, you could have asked for my help,” you hummed, gently pushing his hand away from his sweatpants. “What else is a study buddy for?”

Leorio gulped, desperately searching your eyes for confirmation that his actions weren’t wrong, that you meant what you were saying. His pupils were still blown with pleasure, sweat beaded across his forehead.

You trailed your fingers up his thigh, ghosting the base of his dick.

“Need some help?” you asked, holding his gaze for affirmation.

“Yes, please, god, yes. I- I need you so bad, please,” he moaned, bucking his hips up into your featherlight touch.

Smiling, you retracted your hand and fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt instead. “I want you to show me how you were doing it,” you requested.

Gasping, he grabbed his cock again and began pumping it, screwing his eyes shut with pleasure and perhaps shame.

“Tell me what you think about when you do it,” you said, sliding a hand beneath his shirt.

“You, always you,” he moaned without hesitation. “Kissing you, eating you out, f-fucking you, nngh-” He cut himself off as your fingers circled his nipple.

“Keep going,” you teased.

“Oh, god. You, sucking my- my cock, under the table or in the shower, or- fuck!” He jolted as you gave his nipple a pinch. “Please, I want you to… I want-”

“Want me to jerk you off?” You offered.

“Yes,” he answered, gasping.

With a devilish grin, you slid onto the couch next to him and tucked yourself into his side, placing your hand atop his on his cock, entangling your fingers and leading the pace, purposefully slowing it down. You moved with long, slow strokes, squeezing lightly at the base and tracing your thumb against the tip. He was painfully hard, beads of precum oozing from the angry red tip, and his hips bucked up with every especially hard squeeze.

“Fuck,” he garbled. “Fuck, y/n, it’s so good, please, I need to… I need to c-come, please-”

“Go ahead, Leorio,” you purred. “Come for me.”

With a strangled moan, his hips jutted upwards one last time and cum spurted from his tip, painting both of your knuckles’ white. Each pulse of liquid sent a jolt up his cock, and you squeezed it lightly as he rode out the bulk of his orgasm.

As he wound down, panting, you lifted your hand from his dick and brought it to your mouth, making sure he watched as you lapped up his salty substance from each finger. His eyes, already lidded, darkened with desire.

Flitting your gaze down again to his length, you saw that, unbelievably, it was still hard.

“Y/n,” he rasped. “Let me fuck you. Please.”

It was all you could do to nod before he flipped you over, back pressed into the cushions and head against the arm of the couch. In the blink of an eye, he had your shirt and skirt off, leaving you in simply the matching set of lingerie you’d worn in the event that this was an outcome of tonight’s study session.

Leaning back on his heels, he raked his eyes across your figure, admiring each inch, squeezing the base of his cock again with the sight of you.

Struck with a wave of self-consciousness, you pressed your thighs together and turned your head into the armrest, face burning.

Leorio tsked, “Don’t get shy now, not after you just jerked me off on my own couch,” he growled, slotting his knee in between your thighs to force them apart. Running a finger along your covered slit, he stopped when he reached your heat, pressing lightly then bringing his finger up to examine.

“Oh, my god, you’re soaking,” he groaned, sucking his finger into his mouth to lap your juices clean. He leaned down to capture you in a kiss, hungrily sucking at your lower lip and dipping his tongue into your mouth. You could taste yourself on his tongue, and something that normally would have disgusted you only served to turn you on further as your tongues pressed against each other. You kissed hungrily for several moments, until the heat burning down below became too much to bear.

“Please, fuck me,” you moaned into his ear, looping your arms around his neck. “I can’t wait any longer, please.”

Nodding, Leorio wasted no time, shoving your panties to the side and lining his cock up with your entrance. Even the touch of his tip against your hole had both of you groaning, and he met your gaze and held it as he pushed his length all the way in. You wailed, wrapping your legs around his trim waist and trying everything to pull him closer, deeper.

His cock stretched your walls deliciously, filling you perfectly and making you wonder how you could have ever lived without this.

After his pelvis pressed flush against yours, his length as deep as humanly possible, he paused to give you time to adjust. Time held still, your breathing synched, his head dropped against your shoulder and pressing openmouthed kisses against your collarbone, light sideburns scratching gently against your jawline.

Then the moment was over, and he pulled out entirely, just the tip remaining. You almost cried at the loss, but he thrusted back into your heat before you could procure the sound.

The pace he set was breakneck, cock slamming into your tight hole, his moans echoing in your ear. What should have been too much only fanned the flames of your lust, throwing your head back with each thrust and crying his name and an assortment of obscenities.

“Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” Leorio groaned, breathless. “Ever since you came to my place in that short-ass skirt and kept uncrossing your legs in front of me, god-”

His hands gripped your waist for dear life as he fucked into you, the size of them deliciously large compared to your frame, his thumbs practically touching. Leorio’s fingers pressed shadows into the soft of your stomach, undoubtedly leaving marks by the end of the night; which you couldn’t find it in yourself to be unhappy about.

“Remember that?” He asked, rolling his hips in a way that made you squeal. “I was convinced you were doing it to- nngh- to tease me. By the end of the night I was this close to bending you over the table and taking you right there, shit.”

Catching his breath, he leaned down to hiss in your ear. “But I guess that’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? Little slut.”

Fuck. You wailed at that, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Your fingers scrabbled for purchase against his back, likely leaving scratches against its tan expanse.

He groaned, speeding up the pace of his thrusts, cock insatiably hot and thick inside you. “Y/n, I’m close- want you to come with me, c’mon-”

Thankfully, the incessant slapping of his balls against your ass, pelvis rubbing against your clit, and his length reaching impossible centers within your cunt was sending you dangerously close to the edge.

“Please, Leorio, I need it, I need you, please-”

“Fuck, baby, I’m c-coming, where d’you- where do you want it-”

“Inside, inside-” you gasped without thinking, and he buried his cock inside you one last time, groaning as thick spurts of white painted your walls. The feeling of his cum inside you sent you over the edge, arching your back and sending your eyes rolling back into your skull as your orgasm racked your body, fireworks of pleasure radiating through each appendage. You gripped his damp hair for purchase as you rode out your climax, and he huffed against your throat, arm muscles rippling as their strength faded.

Both of you panted as you came down from your respective highs. Rolling off you, Leorio collapsed at your side, hands trailing over your heaving chest.

With a puff of laughter, you turned your head to meet his eyes, now droopy and satisfied as they gazed into yours.

You grinned softly. “I should forget my keys over here more often.”

[megslovesbooks]

fuck it friday!

thanks for the tags @onward--upward and @messyhairdiaz!!

in true fuck-it fashion i've been writing the second installment of the Piano Player Eddie AU wildly out of order, but i realized I need to get this scene down in order to keep eddie's head space right in my own head for the back half of the fic. so. here we are.

if anyone cares this is pretty spoiliery for the fic??? i doubt that's an issue, but...just in case.

also since i've been tagged in so many of these lately and not answered any of them, here's a good long chunk.

They’re just stepping off the stage after a truly electric show, when Emily slides up to Eddie.

“Bobby needs to see you.”  She says, breaking through the adrenaline fueled buzz of chatter around him. 

“What?” he asks unhelpfully, his brain struggling to catch up, still caught in the pop and fizz of the stage. There’s something about the set of Emily’s shoulders he doesn't like. 

“Bobby needs to see you.”  she says again. “He’s in the office.” Then, as Chim takes a step in that direction she adds “Just Eddie.”

The others are clearly confused now too, he can feel Buck hovering just behind his left shoulder. He looks over and meets Hen’s eyes, and even though she smiles at him, he can see his own creeping dread reflected in her eyes. 

“Sure.”  He says, and his voice comes out unsteady. “Yeah.” 

“Eds–” Buck starts, his hand coming to rest on his elbow for a moment. Eddie wants nothing more than to lean back into that touch but instead he steps forward. 

“I’ll meet you guys back at the hotel.”  He says over his shoulder but doesn't look back.  

He makes the short trek to the cramped little touring office with his heart in his throat, there’s a feeling rising in his gut he hasn’t felt for years. Not since sand and blood and burning metal. Fight or flight. The ground giving way beneath his feet.  Bobby is standing in the middle of the room when he opens the door, his face gray and pinched. 

“Bobby?”  Eddie says, and its all he can get out before his mouth is too dry to speak. 

“Eddie.”  Bobby’s voice is steady, but his eyes…Eddie has to swallow down his rising panic. “Why don’t we sit?” 

“What’s going on?”  He doesn't sit. He can’t.  His manager studies him for a moment then steps closer, could reach out and touch him, but his hands remain at his sides. 

“We just got word.” Bobby says “Your Aunt called.  Eddie, there’s been an accident, a drunk driver struck the car Shannon was driving. I’m so sorry son, she didn’t make it.” 

There’s no air. There’s no air and Eddie is falling. He can’t breathe and he’s falling and oh god oh god oh god it can’t be true. It can’t be true. He’d spoken to her yesterday, it had been brief and halting and painful. Just a check in before he spoke to Chris. He remembers afterward wondering how long it would take them to find their footing again after the divorce. He’d missed her painfully, had been hopeful they could find their way to something different, something better.  Now they’ll never get the chance. Oh god. He can’t... 

“Ok.”  Bobby is saying. “Ok. Breathe Eddie, there you go.”  Somehow he’s ended up in one of the chairs in front of the desk, Bobby crouched in front of him, one hand on his shoulder, the other on his knee, the twin points of contact feel like the only thing keeping him from shattering. Shannon. Oh Christ. How–how–he should ask for details but he can’t do anything but suck ragged gasps of air into his too tight lungs. He isn’t crying, he registers dimly, he should be crying. How are they supposed to go on without her? He was just figuring out who to be without her as his wife, how can he live in a word now where she’s gone forever? What is Christopher supposed to do without his mother? 

“Chris.”  He rasps, reaching out and grabbing at the hand still resting on his knee in a desperate grip. “Christopher.”  Bobby’s face tightens.

“He was in the car.” No. No no no no no no no no no no no.  He must make some kind of noise because Bobby slides his free hand up to grip the back of his neck, forcing him to make eye contact. 

“He’s alive Eddie. He’s alive. He got a little banged up but your Aunt told me he’s home with her and your grandmother now. He’s going to be ok.”

“I have to get to him.”  He chokes out, everything else, all his horror and grief and sickness superseded by his need to be with his son, to hold him, feel his heartbeat. “I have to get to him Bobby.” 

“I know.”  Bobby says, his grip still firm, grounding. He waits until he’s sure Eddie’s really with him then says. “Maddie is booking your ticket right now. Emily’s going to drive you back to the hotel to get what you need then she’ll take you to the airport. We’re going to get you home as quickly as we can I promise.”

I promise I do actually write happy things sometimes too.

I'm not sure who's been tagged, already, but if you want to and haven't already I'll tag @spotsandsocks @paranoidbean @confetti-cupcake @ajunerose and @sibylsleaves

(also i know i'm real bad about doing these things lately, but if you like being tagged in things and i haven't tagged you please let me know and i'll add you to the list! i love being tagged and tagging in return!)

[noforkingclue]

Angst prompt #11 with bones? ❤️

Of course anon! I love writing angst!

Prompt 11, angst: “Nobody’s seen you in days.”

Star Trek tag list: @strange-old-worlds

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary

“I think we should talk.”

Bones had been expecting you to say those words for the past couple of week but actually hearing you say them was another thing. He put down his pen and ran a hand over his face, not daring to look up at you. You shut the door to his office and say down in the chair opposite.

“Are you ok?” you asked eventually

“I’m fine. Why.”

“It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“Nobody’s seen you in days.”

This time Bones glanced up briefly but he looked away just a quick. He couldn’t stand seeing your distraught face for too long.

“We’re getting worried,” you said, “Jim, Scotty, Uhura. Hell, even Spock is mild concerned about your absence.”

“I’ve been busy. That’s all.”

“And what about me?”

“What about you?”

“Haven’t you taken my feelings into consideration?” you snapped

When Bones still didn’t look up you stood up angrily and marched around to his side of the desk. You turned his chair around and stood directly in front of him, giving him no choice but to look at you.

“I miss you,” you said, “I miss spending our evenings together. I thought we had a good thing.”

“We do.”

“Then why the ghosting,” you sat down on his desk and looked at your hands, “If you don’t want to be together then at least respect me enough to tell it to my face. Just tell me what I’ve done to upset you.”

“Fuck,” Bone stood up and ran a hand through his hair, “You really think that you’ve upset me?”

“You haven’t given me an indication otherwise.”

Bones paced around his office and you looked up at him. Eventually he said,

“I need a drink.”

He pulled out a bottle of scotch and without saying anything poured the two of you a glass. He handed you a glass and you took it wordlessly. He turned his back on you and looked out of the window. After a moments silence he said,

“Out of all the men in Starfleet, why did you chose me?”

“What do you mean?” you asked

“It’s just,” Bones sighed again, “There are younger men, better looking men that you could have. I’m just an old man and you can do better.”

You glared at Bones’s back before slamming down you glass. The sudden noise made Bones jump and you marched over to him and poked him in the back.

“Do you really think that?” you asked, “That I can do better?”

Bones did respond and just took a sip of his drink. You gritted your teeth and put your hand on his shoulders and turned Bones to face you. He looked down at your face before quickly looking away again. You sighed and rested your head on his chest.

“You can be very stupid sometimes,” you muttered, “Even for someone so brilliant.”

“You think I’m brilliant?”

You didn’t need to look up to know that he was smiling.

“Of course,” you replied, “The best doctor in Starfleet. No one else can make me laugh as hard as you do or make me feel like the most important person in the world. When I’m with you I know that no one else can love me as much as I do. Do you really think I give a fuck about our age difference?”

When Bones remained silent you sighed. You took his glass from his hands and put it next to yours. You wrapped your arms around him and eventually Bones returned the embrace.

“I don’t care,” you said, “If I cared that much do you really think I would’ve agreed to go out with you? I love you Leo and I don’t give a damn what other people say about us. Ok?”

Bones tightened his grip on you and pressed a kiss against your forehead. You smiled at the contact and looked up at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m so sorry. I never should’ve doubted you.”

“Correct.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Also true.”

“Can you forgive me?”

“I don’t know,” you said teasingly, “I have something in mind.”

You wrapped your arms around Bones’s neck and walked backwards. You sat down on his desk and Bones smirked as he stepped between your legs. You pressed your lips to his as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You didn’t care what other people thought about your relationship. All you cared about was the man you were currently kissing and weren’t about to let go of any time soon.

[youngbeezer]

You should do sharing a milkshake with Kevin Hayes!!!

Referenced Post

Prompt-- 8. Sharing a milkshake (w Kevin Hayes)

A/N: Here's another blurb from the 14 oddly romantic things blurb set. Ok, so I'm sorry this kind of took forever to finish (I was having major writing block). I also don't think this turned out that good but..

Thanks for requesting, hope you like it

Word Count: 1459 (also turned out way longer than I imagined)

Warning(s): none i dont think ?

join my taglist :)

The final buzzer echoed throughout the half full arena, signalling the end of the 2020-2021 Flyers season. I wait a few minutes up in the press box, surrounded by all the other family members and WAGS. We all watch the players give their final appreciations to the loyal fans in the stadium and make their way through the tunnel.

I let out a little sigh when I saw everyone else in the room start making their way out the door and to the locker room. I take one more final moment to take in all my surroundings before we all leave this place for a good few months. I watch the few remaining fans weave their way through the seats, the zambonis making their way onto the ice, and the janitors getting a head start on cleaning.

“Hey a/n, you coming?” Ryanne, one of my closest friends and the captain's wife, asks.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.” I sheepishly rush out as I rise from my seat to meet her at the doorway. She gives me a knowing smile before leading the way down to the locker room.

When we finally make it down there, a few of the guys have already started making their way out. Claude is one of them, and as he comes over he gives me a half smile trying to put on a brave face. I give him a quick hug and assure him,

“Great season cap.”

“Thanks y/n.” He gives me a genuine smile at that and another pat on the back before making his way over to his family.

I wait patiently for my boy to make his way out, and occasionally give a few of the other guys hugs and reassurances. Finally, I see Kevin walk through the locker room door trailing behind Nolan Patrick, who both make their way over once they spot me in the crowd. Nolan makes his way over to me first and says a quiet “hey” before going in for a much needed hug.

I don’t say much except for the standard, “I’m proud of you”, “you played great,” and give him a few back rubs. But once I see my boyfriend finally make his way over here, I give Nolan one last smile before wrapping my arms around Kevin’s neck and pulling him as close to me as possible. He immediately buries his head into the crook of my neck, where I notice a few wet spots hit my skin. I bring my hand up to tangle in his hair and soothe sweet nothings into his ear to try and calm him down.

“I love you so much Kev. No matter what happens or how the season ended, I am always going to be so incredibly proud of you.” I reassured softly, giving his shoulder a few sporadic kisses.

He eventually pulls away clearing his throat and gives me a gentle smile. He brings me in for a sweet kiss that tells me all I need to know. That he appreciates me and my words, and that he’s going to be okay.

“Hayesy, you two coming out with us?” Scott questions us, giving me a quick smile before bringing his attention back to my boyfriend.

“Nah we’re gonna have to pass on this one, sorry.” He answers, giving me a knowing look.

“No problem. See you soon bud. Bye y/n.” Scott gives Kevin a little pat on the back and me a quick hug and then makes his way out of the arena with his girlfriend and the rest of the group who are going out.

Now Kevin and I have always had a tradition that we started back when he was still playing with the Rangers. After a particularly tough game for Kev, he didn’t want to go out with the team, but he also didn’t want to go back home and sulk. So, on our way home from the game, we ended up coming across this diner. We went in, got some food, talked for hours, and we shared a milkshake. We always share a milkshake. Even though it is not technically on Kevin’s diet plan for hockey, it is a comfort food (and if we’re being honest, I drink more than half of it most of the time anyway) but it always seems to do the trick of making the night a little bit better. Now after games, Kevin just needs to give me one simple look, and I know right away that it’s a diner night.

I grab ahold of Kevin’s hand and wait for him to grab his hockey bag before trekking through the Wells Fargo Center and out to the parking lot. We got lucky that when we moved to Philly, we straight away found a cute little diner like 10 minutes from the stadium. So as soon as Kev’s bags are in the trunk and we are both situated in our seats, I start the engine and make my way towards one of our favorite spots.

Luckily when we arrive, there are barely any other customers so we get seated right away. Our waiter, Sally, waltz’s right over to us with her ever present grin.

“Hey you two. It’s good to see you again!” She greets us. Sally was our waiter the first time that we came here and right away warmed our hearts with her happy go lucky personality and charming presence. And every time we came here again, she always walked straight over to our table to greet us and get our usual order. She has been a huge part of making this place such a great escape.

Kevin’s face brightens up with Sally’s presence and he replies back, “It’s good to see you too Sally. How are the kids?”

“Oh they’re great hun. Thanks for asking.” She beams. “Can I get you guys your usual?”

“Yes please.” I smiled at her. Sally nods back and makes her way into the kitchen to place our order.

I bring my attention back to my boyfriend to find him already with his eyes on me. He intertwined our hands together, and even brought one of them up to his lips to give a little kiss.

“Thank you for being here with me.” He confided.

“Of course Kev. I meant what I said earlier. I am so so proud of you and of everything that you accomplished this season.” I declared back.

Before he could say anything else, Sally arrived back at our table with our order.

“Here you are darlin’s. A chocolate milkshake. With two straws.” She gave me a quick wink before retreating behind the diner counter.

“You know you’re seasons technically over… so we could have both gotten our own milkshakes. I wouldn’t have told anyone.” I tease a little.

Kevin scoffs a little before retorting back, “You’re only saying that because you just want an entire milkshake to yourself.”

I let out a giggle and gave him a shrug before taking the first sip of the chocolate heaven.

“I’m just kidding Kev. I wouldn’t change our tradition for the world.” I genuinely smile back at him.

Kevin is silent for a moment and just continues to stare at me as I [religiously] sip the chocolate milkshake.

“You know I love you right?” Kevin claimed.

I pause mid-sip to look back up at him. My face softens at the fondness I see on his face and I go to give his hand a quick squeeze.

“Of course. I love you too.”

“C'mere.” He smirks at me, beckoning me to meet him halfway across the table. Our lips meet into a passionate kiss that speaks volumes on how we are both feeling at this exact moment. There is absolutely no one else either of us would rather be here with at this moment, in a tiny little diner pouring our hearts out to each other after the Flyers season just ended.

From New York, to Winnipeg, to now Philadelphia. No matter where we both are, as long as we have each other, then that’s all we need. But Sally and this chocolate milkshake are a great bonus.

“Mhm, that’s good.” Kev mumbles against my lips as he pulls away.

I chuckle confusedly and raise my eyebrows up at him before asking, “What, my lips?”

“Nah, the milkshake. You taste like it.”

Now I am full on cackling in this tiny diner, causing every head to turn in our direction. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sally smiling from ear to ear watching us.

I shake my head at my ridiculous boyfriend, who is now practically gulping down sips of the milkshake and I bemusedly reflect,

“God, I love you so much.”

Taglist: @heatherawoowoo @barzysandmarnersbitch @joelsfarabees @barzy-xoxo @hockeyplayerstories

Tagging a few othr people so this doesn't flop,,,,

@luukasreichel @jamiesdrysdales @frederikanderson @carepriceisgoodathockey @lovereadinghockeyy @prettyboyjackhughes @gigissports @cherrylita @turcsandzegras @iwantahockeyhimbo @bb-nhlqueen7 @2manytabsopen

[jadegreenimmortality]

Personal Update

Hello there my lovely mutuals, friends and followers!!

It's been too long since I've been around, and I am truly, deeply sorry for that. I've been missing this tumblr and the community very much!

I've been gone for many reasons, but the main one is: a lack of free time of just any kind. Even right now, there are at least four other things I should be doing, but suddenly I just felt such longing for this place that I decided all of that had to wait so I could update all of you on what has been up with me lately <3.

1) As some of you may remember, I said in my last post that one of my cats got ill suddenly. It turned out to be a serious illness with expensive treatment, which left me two weeks doing nothing but looking after my sick cat. He made it through though and I found a way to pay the vet bills, so everything's fine in that department now!

2) University started for me again, in person for the first time since 1 1/2 years and that + work has been absolutely overwhelming. I've basically been out of the house from 8 in the morning till 7 at noon four days a week and studying for hours each day on the remaining three weekdays, it's been crazy. It even got so bad I took two of my classes out of my curriculum to cope. In short: I've been stressed as hell. Jade who?

3) Now to the saddest part: I've definitely fallen completely out of my Bungou Stray Dogs hyperfixation completely. Of course, that's not the only reason I've been around, but definitely one of the two main reasons.

☄. *. ⋆

So what does that mean for the future of this blog?

First off, it means that I will not be writing for Bungou Stray Dogs anymore, at least for now. Should my hyperfixation come back I will definitely do so again as I enjoyed writing for this show and this community heck of a lot. That's why I am also keeping all of the requests I got, the old ones as well as the event requests, just in case. I wish I could write them anyways as some of you send in really great prompts, but there would be no use in forcing myself to do so. I am sincerely sorry for my mutuals who send event requests too, I would've loved to finish those especially <3.

There is a chance I will be writing for other fandoms in the future, but that's just speculation. As far as self-made content goes, I've been thinking that maybe I will upload some of my art. I am aware that people following me are probably not interested in that, so feel free to unfollow me if you wish to! I won't take it personal at all. The art updates will probably also be irregular, so it'll just be something for my own entertainment :).

Else, I will probably be reblogging a bunch of stuff, just like always - but not as BSD-specific anymore.

Last, but not least: I will definitely not be able to be around nearly as much as I was before. But I am not willing to give up this blog and the reason is my second main reason to be on tumblr: the absolutely beautiful friends I made!!!! So friends (including @hanazou, @xo-cuteplosion-xo, @shadyteacup, @pompompurin1028, @requiem626k, @starglow-xx, @atsushiscocksucker, @sirenascales, @moon-mars-ikemen, @perpetuallyc0nfused, @jessbeinme15, @kiyokoxd, @greenshirtimagines, @sonder-paradise, @alittlesimp, @dazsamus, @missrown @infjsnightmare which I have a special need to tag): I will be around from time to time, just to talk to you. I miss you and I want to know what's been happening around here! I hope to talk to you soon. Till then, please take care and remember that I love you all.

PS.: In case anyone is wondering: My current hyperfixation is Star Trek: The Next Generation. Don't ask me how I got from latest anime to 80s sci-fi, I do not know.

[musicallisto]

☣ — 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐞; (newt x gn!reader)

@swanimagines​ requested: Okay I'm doing it since you requested too :D Hopefully I'm early. But may I request song 7 with TMR Newt? c: (People made me go crazy about him so I'm spamming him everywhere, sorry XD) song: dani martín & juanes - los huesos | 𝄞

summary: “But he looked so agitated, just an arm’s length away from you... And you were so very cold... Almost as if your body didn’t belong to you anymore, you silently disrobed of your sleeping bag and crouched over to Newt’s.”

author notes: Juanes is both my dad and my mom. he birthed me himself along with the rest of the hispanic community. if you do not like Juanes I am sorry to say that my religion forbids I talk to you word count: 1.3k warnings: none I think. gender neutral reader. a bit similar to my blue light piece but cuddly newt is *heart eyes*. this could’ve been much angstier given the song but I respectfully looked at that idea and said this ain’t it chief

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 of Northern American geography were foggy, stored somewhere in an unreachable part of your brain. Perhaps you weren’t even a particularly diligent student - if you had been one at all someday.

But you were absolutely positive your group of fugitives must have trekked halfway across one state, at least.

Well, if the immense expanse of sand and charred ruins you’ve heard called the Scorch may be considered a state at all.

“We’re stopping here for the night, shanks. Set up camp.”

“Camp?”

“... Set up whatever you can set up.”

Thomas could have rolled his eyes all he wanted, Minho was right to scoff; your group’s meager possessions, stolen in the confusion of your escape, were almost a downgrade from what you used to build in the Glade - certainly not a camp. But little occupied the group’s collective mind more than exhaustion, dehydration, and fear... and exhausted, thirsty and afraid you were. So much so that you barely felt the burn of the blazing sand on your clammy skin when you collapsed on your back, arms outstretched like a panting martyr.

The world spun for a few seconds, sky-blue and piercing... until your nausea subsided, the spinning stars disappeared, and Newt’s amicable voice rang out.

“Up you go, Y/N. We can’t have you faltering just yet.”

His outstretched hand, fresh like a gulp of water, and his clean white shirt, and his pale hair tousled in the hot wind, and bright and kind eyes... were the first and most beautiful colors you’d seen since you’d broken away from the WICKED compound, a truce from the constant aggression of orange dunes and red skin.

You caught his hand but didn’t even feel yourself smile.

You only saw it reflected in his own.

This so-called Scorch got stupidly cold stupidly fast, come nightfall.

The thought of building a fire had lingered at first, but you collectively shut it down, shuddering at the idea of more warmth on your withered skin; so after sharing what little food you had found in your stolen backpacks — a can of synthesized beans that almost made you miss Frypan’s stew and laying your sleeping bags on the bare soil, you resolved to go to sleep with no light and no heat other than the dying day and your friends’ exhausted eyes.

Before the world fell utterly silent, Minho took out his flashlight, cleared his throat, and as though you were kids on a field trip and not fugitives in an unknown and infinite desert, he awkwardly recalled some distant ghost story. None of you scolded him for wasting the batteries away, not even Thomas, laying on his back with a preoccupied frown on his face. Perhaps he was the one who needed to hear of ghosts the most.

You had laughed and shuddered at Minho and the other boys’ stories, almost forgetting the world around you. But now you were shivering in your sleeping bag, and the biting cold was much harder to forget than a bad dream.

You weren’t the only one fighting the night, apparently. A rustling of fabric and sand on your right indicated that one of your friends was locked in battle — against the cold or a nightmare, that you didn’t know. What you did know, however, was the shivering silhouette, in spite of the dark night, and how your heart revolted at the thought of him suffering...

“Newt?” you called out, barely above a whisper.

Some part of you felt awful for disturbing him in whatever peace he had found — heaven knew how scarce quiet could be these days, and often it proved much more terrifying than screams and gunshots. But he looked so agitated, just an arm’s length away from you... And you were so very cold...

Almost as if your body didn’t belong to you anymore, you silently disrobed of your sleeping bag and crouched over to Newt’s.

“Newt, are you asleep?”

A silence. Full and absolute. He stopped shuddering for a second, and it hit you just then that he might have been shaking from something other than the cold.

“No.”

“Can I...”

And your voice trailed off, sentence going nowhere, because it seemed ridiculous enough on its own inside your brain, but for some reason, mayhaps softened by the mayhem of your last day, Newt understood the unspoken, and acquiesced in a breath.

“Yes.”

You sat down next to him; he pressed himself as far as he could against the fabric of the sleeping bag, making room for you. It took you a few tries, some squeaking and groaning, and an unfortunate elbow in the rib before you found a position that suited the both of you; but as soon as you felt the heat of his strong chest radiating off your back in comforting waves, you knew there was no place in the world you’d rather be.

"You’re freezing,” he murmured, not exactly a grunt, and as if to prove his point he took your hands in his and held them like a frozen treasure.

You remained silent for some long moments, his breath fanning over your neck, his arms secure around your waist. You expected the ordeal to be more awkward, especially since you weren’t exactly friends with Newt, so to speak, but weren’t anything more either; but his breathing lulled you to sleep like a familiar song, and you were too far gone to think of anything other than the exhaustion and soreness in each of your muscles. It was like falling asleep like a log after a long day of running in the Maze; all that was missing was the dulcet smell of myrrh...

“Hey, Y/N. Are you asleep?”

You blinked a few times with difficulty. You weren’t in the Maze. You would never go back to the Maze.

“Almost.”

“Do you think we’ll find that Safe Haven?”

From your position, you couldn’t see the stars, or rather what remained of them — only the dunes stretching as far as your eyes could see, and the sleeping forms of your other friends. Maybe that view dampened your answer.

“I have no idea, Newt. It’s like a mirage. But... for what it’s worth... I think you’re doing an excellent job at getting us all ahead.”

“Thomas is the one doing all the leading,” he murmured, his raspy voice sending pleasant chills down your back. “I just want everyone to be safe. That’s my job.”

“And I want you to be safe too, Newt. You deserve to be looked after too...”

Though they were strained, his words carried a wide smile, genuine and heartfelt.

“Good thing I have you for that then.”

As he spoke, he took a strand of your hair between his fingers and absent-mindedly played with it. Outside of your cocoon, a breeze had picked up, colder than the rest of the night, but it was powerless before you.

“Are you warmer now?”

“Yeah.”

You closed your eyes. He was still twirling your hair, and you noticed his breathing slow down and deepen.

“Happy to be of service, love.”

Or maybe it was fatigue that made you hear what you wanted to hear. Newt had never been one for pet names, nor for sly and coy remarks.

Then again, Newt had never been one for holding you close to his heart as you both fell asleep, and you relished in that soft side of him he almost accidentally unraveled that night.

“Thank you for... giving me a hand... when I fell earlier,” you muttered, fighting your own droopy eyes.

“You deserve to be looked after too, Y/N. That’s what I’m here for.”

He gulped, and even through the veil of slumber that progressively covered your mind, you sensed his words held a deeper truth you would never entirely grasp.

“I’ll look after you if it’s the bloody last thing I do.”

Your hands were still in his when you submitted to sleep completely, although you were no longer cold.

Neither of you remembered their nightmares when you woke up in the morning.

tagging; @fives-cup-of-coffee​ @softeninglooks​ (all my writing) ; @lxncelot​ @swanimagines​ (the maze runner)

[omgrachwrites]

The Princess and The Duke - Chapter Ten

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: As the Princess of  Spain, you were always supposed to marry King James of   England to make an alliance between Spain and England. When he marries a woman at his court for love, you are married off to his best friend, Sirius Black the Duke of Bedford to keep the alliance. However, the court is riddled  with secrets and a rebel in the North starts to rise against the Throne. Royal AU.

Warnings: angst, character death, mentions of blood, mentions of violence, fluff

Words: 2816

A/N: How are we on chapter ten already?! I’m so sorry for this chapter, but why is angst so fun to write? Hope you guys enjoy this part and please let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged! xxx

Chapter Ten - To Die in Battle

The harsh winter wind was raging fiercely as Sirius stood on the frozen front lawn of the castle, if he didn’t die in the fighting then he would surely freeze to death. But, the wind was nothing compared to the emotions swirling in his heart. He was leaving his beautiful wife and his unborn child; he was surely walking to his certain death. Sirius didn’t know – no one did – what the numbers were like in Cumbria. But, with Scotland on this Lord Voldemort’s side, Sirius and James would be outnumbered, even with the Frenchmen that King Francis had sent.

Y/N looked beautifully sorrowful and melancholy as she looked up at him, tears filling her eyes. She reminded him of a painting he had once seen of Guinevere, when she had heard the news of Arthur’s death. Sirius hoped that he wouldn’t go the same way.

Sirius tried to smile but he feared that it came out as more of a grimace as he cupped Y/N’s rosy and frozen cheeks, “I’ll come back to you, my love. I promise, I love you so much.”

“You better had come back to me Sirius, I love you too,” Y/N sniffled and pulled him into a long passionate kiss, he poured all the love he had for her into the kiss and he knew that she was doing the same.

The kiss lasted for so long that James had to speak up, “Sirius, I’m sorry but we have to go,” reluctantly, Sirius pulled away from Y/N and pressed a kiss to her forehead, her eyes were pleading with him not to go, but he had no choice. As he rode away, he stole one last look at his Princess, hoping that he’d be able to see her again.

The journey up North went by without so much as a hitch and it surprised Sirius but he was glad that they hadn’t run into any trouble. There was enough trouble in Cumbria, they didn’t need more. The army made camp about a mile outside of Cumbria close enough to the fighting but fat enough away that they could feel safe.

Nerves swarmed in Sirius’ stomach as he heard the pounding drums of the battle, this wasn’t his first time fighting but now there was so much at stake; the state of the country and the life of Y/N and their child. What would happen to them if he died? He was going to fight tooth and nail to make sure that he survived, he had to.

“You look positively green, Peter. Are you alright?” Sirius tried to laugh but it came out hollow and humourless.

Peter swallowed, “I’m scared.”

Sirius nodded and placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder, Sirius would have called him a coward if he didn’t care so much about him, “so am I, Peter. But, we’re going to win, I know we are,” Sirius’ voice sounded more confident than he truly felt.

Peter nodded and gave Sirius a tight smile but for the rest of the day, he looked increasingly better.

The first few days of the fighting started off slowly but that didn’t mean it was any less brutal, Sirius hated killing men, even in battle, he felt like a monster. Dark red blood tainted the pure blanket of white snow, like spilled wine. The screams of dying men and the stench would forever haunt Sirius’ dreams as he fought in the beautiful countryside of Cumbria. He prayed to God every night, thanking Him for keeping him safe. Sirius had never before been a religious man but now seemed a good time to start believing.

What Sirius thought was odd was the fact that they hadn’t seen the fabled Lord Voldemort yet and they hadn’t seen the Scots. Thankfully, Sirius didn’t see Regulus among the men who were trying to kill him. He hoped that his kind little brother was somewhere safe, somewhere far away from the fighting.

Days rolled by and the fighting continued and the warring men painted the countryside red with each other’s blood. James had received an arrow in the shoulder and Remus had been on the receiving end of a dagger in the side, though they would both pull through. Sirius and Peter remained unscathed apart from a few cuts.

Sirius worried more about the effect that this battle would have on his mind and his dreams. James’ army dwindled in size, too many good men died, too many men that Sirius had known when he was a child.

A couple more days went by and Sirius’ young squire, Johnathan succumbed to a fatal wound by the frozen river. He asked Sirius to hold him, he didn’t want to be alone as he died, “it’s a beautiful place to die, apart from the battle of course,” Johnathan tried to laugh but he only choked on the blood that spilled from his mouth as he looked at the frozen river and the mountains beyond.

Hot tears fell down Sirius’ cheeks as he held his friend, Johnathan was so young. Sirius hadn’t wanted him to fight but Johnathan had begged him, he had wanted to be a Knight, “Johnathan, you crazy bastard,” Sirius sniffled as he tried to hold the life inside Johnathan by putting pressure on the wound but he knew it was no use. Johnathan was going to die, “you would have made an amazing Knight.”

“Damn right,” Johnathan gave a little pained smile as his voice grew weaker and began to fade, “when you get back home to your lovely wife, please tell the Lady Sophia that I love her. I’ve thought of her every moment and I’m thinking of her now as I lay dying. My only regret is that I didn’t see her beautiful face once more.”

Sirius nodded, “of course, I will.”

“Thank you, my friend,” he gasped out in pain as his breathing slowed and the life left his body. Sirius sniffed as a great wave of sadness crashed against him and he closed Johnathan’s eyes so now it only looked like he was merely sleeping. Sirius made a mental note to bury him when the fighting was over.

Rage filled Sirius’ chest as he saw red and he swore that he would find the man who had killed his friend. Sirius cut down many men and anguished cries filled his ears but he didn’t flinch as he once did. For the first time since the fighting began, the sun peeked over the mountains and filled the battlefield with watery winter sunlight. The mere sight of it filled Sirius with hope, hope that he would get back to his wide and he’d be able to see his child grow up.

That night when Sirius entered the war tent, he found that James was smiling brightly, he looked like a young God as the light bounced off his golden crown, “the Scots aren’t here, I think we’ve been lured into a trap but we can win Sirius.”

Sirius’ eyes widened and it felt like all his dreams had come true, “it was Malfoy who told us of the Scottish presence. Where is he?” Sirius wondered whether Malfoy had been a traitor among them and had tried to lure them off to their deaths. Whatever the truth was, it was definitely suspicious.

James shrugged, “I honestly couldn’t care less.”

When the rest of the army realised that the Scots – or Lord Voldemort – weren’t going to show up, it filled them with new hope and they began to fight tooth and nail. They fought so fiercely that in hundreds of years, songs and stories would be told of this day. Till the end of history would this day be sung of. It would be the stuff of legends and Sirius doubted that the mighty King Arthur had fought so well.

“They’re retreating like the cowards they are!” James yelled gleefully after hours of brutal fighting.

Sure enough, ahead of them men were retreating, led by a man in a mask and Sirius wondered if it was Lord Voldemort. Though, he couldn’t find it in his heart to care, he was just so glad that this battle was finished, even though he knew the threat was not yet defeated and there was still the Scottish to worry about.

But, he was going home, even if Johnathan couldn’t be at his side, he couldn’t tell Sophia that he loved her himself, he would be remembered. All Sirius wanted to do was ride all the way back to the palace, to his wife’s arms but of course he couldn’t do that yet. As the men celebrated, Remus turned to Sirius with a grin, dozens of cuts littering his young handsome face.

“Where is Johnathan? He should be celebrating with us! I like that man.”

Sirius’ face dropped and he felt hot tears pricking behind his eyes, Johnathan couldn’t celebrate with them and he wasn’t coming home, “he’s dead, I held him as he died,” Sirius’ voice broke,

Remus sighed mournfully as he pulled Sirius into a hug, “I’m so sorry, I know how much he meant to you. We’ll have a funeral for him and he’ll be remembered as a hero.”

Remus was true to his word, Sirius and his friends buried Johnathan – and all those who had fallen. Johnathan’s funeral was beautiful; James said a few words for him as did Sirius, who knew him best. On the day that they buried Johnathan, the sun come out and melted the snow and the river began running again. It gave Sirius hope that better days were coming. He knew that better days were coming.

Sirius was in high spirits as the army began the trek back home and he joined in with the triumphant bawdy songs. He grinned at those who remained those who would see the people they loved again. He thought of Y/N every second of the way, he was going to sleep in her warm comforting arms for a whole month and nobody would be able to stop him.

---------------------------------------------------

It had been two weeks, two whole weeks since your love had gallantly rode off to battle and you were missing him terribly. You had vivid dreams about him every night, and in those dreams you were happy but that happiness was shattered when you woke up with a broken heart when your beautiful husband wasn’t lying next to you.

He was your anchor, you had shared so many experiences with one another, it felt like you were a widow already but you wouldn’t think about that. Even though, you had heard no news of the battle. Though, you weren’t the only one who was feeling lost, Lily waited for her King and Sophia paced around your chambers with a nervous look on her face as she held her stomach.

“It’s going to be okay you know,” you smiled at the pretty girl as you knitted baby clothes by the warmth of the fire, “they’ll come home safe,” you tried to convince yourself of that too. There could be no alternative; you didn’t even want to think about it.

Sophia shot you a nervous smile, “it’s not just that,” she sighed, biting her lip, “I suppose that I should tell you, word will travel fast when the army return for the victory feast,” she took a deep breath as you frowned at her words, “the father of my baby is King Francis.”

“Sophia, I…” you trailed off, gobsmacked and hurt that your dearest friend had lain with the man who had threated your child. The only sound in the room was the crackle of the roaring fire.

“At the summit, when you were with Lily, he came by to apologise to you for being rude. He saw that I was upset and he comforted me. I wrote to him and he bids me to come to court as his mistress.”

“Do you want that?” you asked weakly as you found your voice, you were utterly shocked at this news.

Sophia shrugged as she played with her fingers, “I’d be ruined here when people find out, France will be the safest place for me and my child. He was a kind lover,” her eyes welled up, “I know that I’ve shamed you.”

You shook your head as her voice broke and you pulled her into a hug, “you could never shame me, if this is what you want that I’ll support you,” she was right, France would be the safest place for her and you couldn’t be angry at her for wanting to keep herself and her unborn child safe, “I’ll miss you,” you teared up, your heart feeling heavy, “can I persuade you to stay until I give birth? I want you by my side, Sirius and I will see to it that you get safe passage to France.”

Sophia pulled away from you and she smiled kindly as she took your hands in her soft ones, “of course, it would be an honour to attend you in your birthing bed. Thank you, Your Highness.”

The two of you warmed yourselves by the fire and Sophia told you stories of what the King was like and what she imagined his court to be like. She looked so happy that you had to support her decision even if it killed you to hand her over to France. You talked with her for a couple of hours before a trumpet was blown outside and Sophia looked at you with sparkling, happy eyes.

“That means that the army has returned!”

You gasped, your heart felt impossibly light, your husband had come home – you hoped – and without another word, you picked up your skirts and hurried onto the front lawn. The King was riding at the front of the company and you heard Lily squeal in delight before she ran to him, and you knew that Sophia was looking for Johnathan. Your heart stopped when you looked behind James and saw him, he looked so beautiful and gallant.

You watched him as he dismounted his horse and at once you ran into his arms, you never thought that you’d see him again or feel his warmth around you. Sirius chuckled as he lifted you off the ground and spun you around. You pulled your head away from his neck long enough to look at his handsome face, his eyes were soft as he gazed at you but you could tell that in their depths he felt haunted. You gently trailed your fingers over the bloody cuts on his face before leaning down to kiss him desperately. Sirius put you down as he kissed you back, clutching you desperately as his tongue dived into your mouth.

“I missed you so much,” he spoke in between kisses.

“I missed you too,” you stroked your thumbs against the hollow of his cheeks, “I’m so glad that you’ve come back to me. I love you.”

“I promised, I love you too,” he smiled as he pressed his forehead against yours.

Later that night, you were wrapped up in each other’s arms; it was obvious by the look on Sirius’ face that he didn’t want to talk about the battle so you didn’t ask him. He had been so brave but you wished that he didn’t have to be, you couldn’t lose him, it must have been so horrible for him. The only thing that Sirius had told you of the battle was the fact that Johnathan died in his arms. Sophia sobbed when Sirius told her the news and she sobbed even more when Sirius told her that Johnathan loved her and she was the last thing that he thought of.

Sirius huffed out a laugh as you leaned forward and lovingly kissed every single cut on his chest before you placed a kiss over his beating heart which jumped beneath your lips. You smiled as Sirius’ fingers dived into your hair, “you were all I thought about when I was away, every day I fought to come home to you.”

Your eyes teared up as you felt an overwhelming wave of love for the stunningly handsome man that was at your side, “I thought about you too, I dreamt of you every night, wishing you were here with me. Thank you for coming home to me, to us, thank you for keeping your promise,” tears fell down your cheeks as Sirius kissed your forehead.

“You don’t have to thank me my love, I keep the promises that I make, no matter what happens, I will always come home to you,” his thumbs wiped away your tears as he pulled you in for another kiss, resting his hands on your stomach.

You didn’t know what you would do without him, you knew that you could never love another, and you thanked God that he was home with you.

---------------------------------------------------

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[queenxxxsupreme]

Kaceeyyyy, I turned 21 today and am *sightly* tipsy after my quarantine solo party. I'm keep imagining Lambert trying to take care of a lightweight S.O. and it's 😂 Would you be up to a drabble or headcanon? no pressure tho bc I know you're busy and haven't been able to write as much. (Also sorry if this prompt makes you uncomfortable or anything as well) Either way I LOVE YOU AND YOUR BLOG AND YOU'RE MY FAVORITEST WITCHER WRITER ACROSS ALL 7 SEAS!!! NETFLIX SHOULD HIRE YOU BC YOU'D DO OUR PUPPIES PROUD!

A/N: Oh babe!! You are too sweet!! Seeing you say that really made my day! I hope you like this and HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELLOW 2000s BABY also I think I may have accidentally started writing drunk!Geralt as Thor sometime through this so..... I apologize if this seems out of character for Geralt.... 

***

“HA! I WIN!” You declared, laughing as you stood up and reached across the table to take the small pile of coin from Geralt. 

“I don’t think that-think that was very fair of you, Y/N.” The White Wolf’s words slurred as he looked down into his tankard to see how much liquor he had left. “Think you cheated.”

“How did I cheat?” You furrowed your brows, still pulling the pile of coin to your side of the table. 

“Because I can’t even…. I can’t even see what cards I’ve got.” He shook his head, setting the remaining gwent cards in his hand down onto the table. “I can’t read the cards right now.”

You broke out into laughter again, throwing your head back.

Geralt reached over for the bottle of White Gull at the end of the table, but his depth perception wasn’t the greatest. He ended up knocking the bottle off into the floor. It shattered into a billion pieces, sending the witcher into a fit of laughter himself. 

The door to the library opened and Eskel and Lambert stepped in. They stayed there for a moment, surveying the scene. There were numerous bottles spread on the tables throughout the library. The table you sat at with Geralt was covered in Gwent cards and coin. You were hunched over on the bench, laughing rather loudly while Geralt had his head thrown back while he laughed. 

“I hope Y/N didn’t drink even half of the bottles in here.” Eskel thought out loud, picking up one of the empty bottles. 

“They wouldn’t be conscious if they had.” Lambert shook his head. “Can’t drink for shit.”

“Lamb- hick -bert!” You exclaimed his name, breaking it up with a hiccup. Your face lit up at the sight of the young witcher. You quickly stood up from your seat and tried to get to him, but you moved too fast and the room spun. You giggled, reaching out to steady yourself on his arm but he was too far away. 

“Easy there, bug.” Lambert moved to your side before you could stumble or fall. 

You grabbed ahold of his arms, leaning into him without any care in the world. Luckily, he was sturdy and strong enough to hold your weight. 

“Did you have fun while I was gone?” Lambert put his hands on to your hips to steady you. 

“Yes! Of course!” You turned your head to look at Geralt. He was starting to stand up from the bench but the toe of his boot got caught on the bench and he went flying to the floor. You barked out a laugh, jumping up and down as you pointed at him. “Geralt! Geralt of Rivia! Has finally met his match!”

“Ha, ha!” Geralt laughed, turning over onto his side. “No bench can defeat me.”

“I believe it, big guy.” Eskel offer his hand to his brother.

“How much did you drink, bug?” Lambert asked you. 

“All of it!”

“You barely had half a bottle of Gull!” Geralt pointed at you accusingly. “That’s where you cheated! You got me drunk! Got me drunk and-and you played Gwent with me! Stole all my coin!”

“Good job, bug.” Lambert praised, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You hummed, leaning into his touch. Your skin was warm and tingly, and where he kissed you seemed especially tingly. 

You didn’t realize you were leaning awkwardly into him until you lost your balance and practically fell into him. 

“Easy there, bug.” He kept his arm around your waist. “Let’s get you to bed. Eskel, can you get dumbass over there to his room?”

“I think I can manage.” Eskel nodded.

“Tomorrow, I want a rematch!” Geralt told you. 

You opened your mouth to say something back but all that came out was a rather loud burp. You brought your hand up to cover your mouth. Your widened eyes found Lambert, who looked rather impressed. 

“Oh gods. That wasn’t very mannerly of me.”

“Don’t worry, bug. I’ve heard you make worse sounds. Come on.” He patted your side and began to guide you in the direction of the door. 

Just as the two of you left the library, you gasped. 

“Wait! My coin!” You stopped him, turning quickly to run back to the table. 

“Easy! Easy! You’re going to trip and break your neck.” Lambert stopped you from getting very far. “I’ll go get it. You stay right here.”

You nodded and watched him slip back into the library. 

You waited there for what felt like way too long. You decided to head to bed without him. He’d be able to just meet you there, right? 

So you started down the hallway, giggling when you accidentally tripped because you were dragging your feet a little too much or when you bumped into the wall. 

“Bug?” Lambert’s voice echoed from down the hall.

You started running as best as you could through the hall, using the wall as a guide since you couldn’t see very well. 

“Bug, I can hear you. Where the hell are you going?”

“I’m racin’ you to bed!”

“Well, you’re going the wrong way.”

You tried to stop but you couldn’t get your feet to slow down in time. You ended up running straight into a wall. You yelped as you fell back on your ass, holding your nose. 

“Lambert!”

He sighed as he approached you, shaking his head. His eyes had adjusted to the dim lighting in the hallway, therefore giving him the ability to see you. 

“Lambert! I-I broke my nose!”

“You didn’t break your nose, bug.” He knelt down beside you and reached down to pull your hands away from your face. “You’re just bleeding a little.” 

“How do you know? You didn’t even look!”

“I didn’t hear the crunch of bones breaking.”

You gagged at the thought. 

“Come on, bug. You need to get to bed. Sleep off the alcohol in your system.” Lambert stood up, looking down at you. 

“Carry me, love!” You held your arms open for him. “My legs broke!”

He rolled his eyes, running a hand over his face.

“You’re lucky I like you.” He scooped you up into his arms and began to trek to his room. 

“You like me?” You looked up at him with furrowed brows. “Do you really?”

Lambert wanted to drop you right there and make you find your own way to bed. 

“Bug, we’ve been together for six years. I think it’s safe to say I love you at this point.”

You giggled, reaching up to brush your fingers over his cheek. 

“Love you too, handsome.”

He turned his head and pretended to bite at your fingertips, making you giggle and laugh even more. 

When you arrived at his room, he tossed you down onto the bed. You broke out into laughter, rolling onto your side. 

Lambert pulled off your boots and put them on the floor by the bed. 

“I’ll be right back, bug.” He disappeared for a few moments to retrieve a damp cloth to wipe your nose with. He was gentle as he wiped the blood from your nose. 

You thanked him, watching him as he tossed the cloth towards the door. 

“You wanna change your clothes, bug? Or you wanna just sleep in that?”

“I want you to get your ass up here and cuddle me, mister!” You pointed to the pillow by your head, trying to keep your tone serious but failing miserably. You covered your mouth with your hand and giggled.

“Don’t get that attitude with me, bug.” Lambert kicked off his own boots and got into bed. “I’ll kick your ass.”

“I’d like to see you try.” You challenged, scooting closer to him. You forced your knee between his thighs, which made him yelp and jump.

“The hell are you doin’, bug!”

“Tryin’ to get comfy, Lambert!” You whined, tucking your head into the crook of his neck. 

“Be careful where your shoving your body parts.” He grumbled. 

You slipped your arms around him and held him tightly. He buried his nose in your hair and closed his eyes. 

“Night, bug.”

You burped and giggled. 

“Good night, Lambert.”

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If your name is in italics, it wouldn’t let me tag you :(

[curvynerdfan]

Never let me go

Happy x Reader

Requested by @isitmine I hope you like it hun! I’m sorry it took such a long time for me to complete! I added a lot more length to make up for it! School and work has been crazy but it was a lot of fun to write this and be creative!

Honorable tags: @justahopelessssromantic and @princessofthalia

Warnings: being hurt by a prospect, cursing, violent Happy, murder, a bit of gore

“Hey, didn’t Jax want y’all to meet up with Gemma? I thought she was getting her new furniture shipped in today.” Y/N asked.

“Why the fuck do you care?”, the prospect, Maggot, barked.

“Well, I was just hoping to see Happy soon.”, Y/N responded, confused on why he was being so rude.

“Oh! So you’re one of his bitches huh?”, he grumbled.

“No!”, she argued, “I am his old lady!”

Y/N couldn’t believe a prospect was being so disrespectful to an old lady. Let alone her! She didn’t think she was anything special but Happy was Sergeant-at-Arms and the terrifying Tacoma Killer and she was his pregnant wife. While thinking through the different possibilities of how to handle the situation, she felt a hand land on her neck.

Y/N was at the point where she thought she was going to pass out when she clawed out at his face. The first couple of swipes were misses, until she finally managed to dig her nails into him.The pain must of startled him enough because his grip began to slip. Y/N pulled away quickly and dropped to the ground. She was heaving and thought she might vomit.

“God dammit!” He shouted, bringing his hand up to his face only to see it covered in blood.

He started towards her again and picked up a broken beer bottle on the way.

“Think, about what you’re doing here Maggot,” Y/N kept pausing to breathe, “the club isn’t going to take this lightly”

“They don’t care about anyone but themselves! No one will miss a crow!” Maggot yelled, swiping at her with the broken bottle.

Y/N flinched and covered her stomach with her arms. She was barely showing right now, only in tight clothing but she still wasn’t going to let anything happen to her baby. Maggot missed the first time in his fit of rage but managed to catch Y/N’s left arm on the second swipe.

She began to scream in pain and shout for help, crying out for Happy or anyone else who may be nearby. Maggot swiped at Y/N again, but she luckily managed to knock the sharp glass out of his hand. This really pissed him off and before she could bring her arms up a hand collided with her face. Her head snapped to the side and when she brought a hand up to her face she realized she was crying.

Maggot appeared to have reached his wits end. His arm raised up into the air again and she began to pray to any diety that would listen. Screaming at the top of her lungs, hoping someone will hear her.

Jax looked up from the custom bike he was working on when he heard someone screaming like a banshee from within the clubhouse. He made eye contact with Opie and dropped his tools. Both brothers sprinted across the lot, worried for whoever was making that noise. They burst through the door and were enraged by what they saw.

Maggot was rearing back to hit her again, when he was suddenly jerked away from her. Opie had grabbed Maggot by his raised arm and dragged him away, surely dislocating the prospect’s shoulder.

Jax tried to console Y/N but she didn’t seem to recognize who he was. She was so overwhelmed with fear that she just curled in on herself. Jax believed she was still trying to protect her baby.

On his way towards the garage Opie ran into a frantic Gemma, “I heard screaming. What the hell is going on?”

“This piece of shit hurt Y/N!” Opie growled, throwing the prospect onto the concrete. “ Jax is in the clubhouse with her now. You should probably call Chibs, it didn’t look good.”

Gemma shook her head and stomped away and into the clubhouse. She had already dialed Chibs by the time she opened the door and gasped as he answered the phone.

“What’s wrong doll?” the irishman asked.

“It’s Y/N. Maggot hurt her pretty bad and we’re gonna need your help. How soon can you be here?” Gemma asked.

“Shite! I am grabbing my med bag now. I’ll be there in five.” He said and Gemma could here him scrambling to grab his stuff, “Put pressure on any bleeding and try to keep her from hyperventilating” he demanded as the motorcycle rumbled to life before he hung up on her.

Gemma ran to the kitchen and grabbed some towels before making her way to Y/N and her son. She pulled Jax away and told him to call Tig and Happy. Tig could organize everyone coming in for church so they could vote on Mr. Mayhem and Happy needed to be told what was going on. Jax flipped open his phone and walked to the bar to make the calls.

Gemma slowly moved further into Y/N’s line of sight and spoke in soft, dulcet tones, “Hey, baby. How about you let momma check on you, huh?” Gemma had helped raise Y/N with some other members of the community. Her family had bailed on her when she was sixteen and the town came together to help her. The club provided her with a dorm room and Gemma has been her mother figure ever since. “There’s a lot of blood sweetie…” Gemma grimaced, “Can you show me where it is coming from? You're safe now, your brothers and I are gonna take good care of you.”

“Happy?” Y/N whimpered, looking around.

“He’s on his way.” Jax cut in, walking up behind Gemma and putting a hand on his mom’s back.

“I want Happy!” Y/N whined again pitifully.

“I know sweetheart. She’ll be here soon. How about you let Ma look at your arm huh? Get you cleaned up some before Happy gets here.” Jax asked, knowing it would coax her into letting Gemma touch her.

“Okay... “ Y/N said and slowly uncurled.

When Y/N released her arm, they both gasped. Gemma quickie covered her arm with one of the towels and applied pressure. There was a gash going up her arm. Starting on the outside of her wrist and wrapping its way past her elbow. Some of it was going to need stitches, judging on how deep it was.

Chibs came barrelling through the door and went straight to the bar sink to scrub his hands. He paced quickly over to the trio, still drying his hands.

“Hello dolly, can I have a look see?” Chibs spoke softly to her, noting that she seemed to have gone into shock. “Atta girl!” he commended, when she didn’t flinch when he moved to check her injuries.

She was beginning to develop a deep bruise on the right side of her face. It appeared that the hit had managed to fracture her cheek bone and she had earned a black eye from the mistreatment. He lightly prodded her neck making sure there was no damage to her trachea or esophagus and deemed that she would heal easily enough but be tender for the next week. When he went to press his palm to her stomach and check on the baby she locked her hand on his wrist, digging her nails into him. Her eyes began to fill with tears again as she shook her head with fear.

“Okay, okay darlin’. I’m not gonna hurt you or the baby. Just wanna check on them. Gemma, could you try to put your palm on her stomach? I wanna see if we can get a kick. That means we can skip the hospital… Maybe just have a house call for an ultrasound later?” Chibs tried to speak softly and hide his concern. It didn’t look like the bastard had been able to make contact with her small bump but he had to be sure.

Gemma slowly reached out and when Y/N made no move to stop her, placed the hand that wasn’t holding the towel to her adopted daughter’s stomach. She waited worryingly, hoping to feel the baby kick.

The clubhouse door slammed open again and a rumbling “Babygirl!” spewed frantically out of Happy’s mouth as he trekked across the clubhouse. Gemma sighed in relief when the baby shifted at the sound of their father’s voice and nodded at Chibs. Gemma slowly shifted away from Y/N and stood to stop Happy quickly.

“What are you doing, Gem? I gotta see her!” Happy growled, restraining himself from letting his anger unleash on the club mom.

“And you will see her. I just wanna make sure you’re gonna keep your head on straight. She is in shock if you come in all burly and pissed it won’t help her or the baby. Jax has already called a meeting and that shit will get what is coming to him, but right now you need to be here for Y/N.”, Gemma spoke quickly and with authority. “Now, if you can keep your cool, I am sure it would be a big help for you to sit with her and help Chibs.”

Happy nodded his head and stepped around Gemma. Quickly crouching to the ground to make sure Y/N could see him.

“Happy!” She let out in quiet relief.

He shook his head in attempts to subdue his anger, “Yeah babygirl! I’m here now. Hmm, let me take a look at you?”

She slowly turned her head as his hand caressed her chin and happily allowed him to press his palm to her stomach. The baby slowly kicked along his palm and he smiled in relief.

He turned to Chibs to ask what he needed to do. The irishman directed the Tacoma Killer to gently move his old lady to wear he was sitting against the wall behind her with her body cradled between his legs. Y/N tilted her head back to let it rest against her husband as he wrapped his arms around her. At Chibs instruction his right arm went around her shoulders, his left rested along her baby bump and bent his left knee so she couldn’t see her hurt arm.

“Alright, little pinch hun and then it shouldn’t hurt so bad, hmmm.” Chibs said.

He slowly unwrapped the arm and Y/N jolted when Happy growled in distaste. When she looked up at him to see what was wrong, he tilted his head down and nuzzled his nose against her unmarked cheek. Chibs quickly injected local anesthetic to multiple spots along the abrasion and waited several minutes before running a gloved finger along the injury. Y/N didn’t flinch in Happy’s arms and Chibs took that as a go ahead.

Chibs prepped his supplies and began to clean the gash of glass. Some shards had remained on the bottle when Maggot broke it and he wanted to make sure nothing was embedded when he began to suture. Y/N was slowly coming back to herself and tried to adjust to where she could see when she felt the tugging on her arm.

Happy easily distracted her with forehead kisses and talking through what was going on. He reassured her that something would be done about the prospect. When he mentioned that church was called, she shuddered and begged him not to leave. Happy consoled her to the best of his ability but nothing seemed to work. Jax overheard and let them know this was going to be the only exception of an old lady attending church. Chibs agreed saying that even though they knew Happy’s vote, he had a right to listen to everyone else’s. Plus Chibs was going to give Y/N’s nurse midwife, Tatum, a call as soon as he was done so he could give her pain medication. Y/N would probably sleep through the entire meeting anyways.

Chibs finished suturing her arm and told Happy to take her up to his dorm and help her shower. Happy agreed after Chibs explained that he should have an answer by then and could give her some medicine and wrap the sutures. Happy stood carefully before lifting Y/N into his arms.

He carried her up the stairs and sat her down on their bed. They had a house that was almost done being renovated and they decided to save money by moving back into the clubhouse for the time being. Happy was glad that they lived here, especially right now. He knew she was comfortable and everything was at his fingertips. He could easily lay them both out new clothes and get her comfort items.

“What do you wanna wear after your shower, babygirl?” Happy questioned, wanting to make sure she was comfortable.

Y/N shrugged but told him no when he went to open her loungewear drawer. She quickly directed him to his drawers with the point of her finger. He chuckled at her and pulled out one of her favorite shirts of his to sleep in. It was a faded grey t-shirt with Reaper Crew written in blue on the chest. He also grabbed her a pair of underwear, fuzzy socks and a pair of her sweatpants before quickly laying out new clothes for himself as well. He then scooped her up again and brought her to their bathroom. Y/N began to tear up again when Happy helped her take her shirt off, well his shirt off.

“No, no, no… don’t cry baby! I’m here now. What’s wrong?” Happy asked, concerned.

Y/N let out a whine, “I got blood on your shirt! It’s ruined!”

“Babygirl”, he couldn’t help but chuckle, “You’re crying over my shirt? I can fix that one easy! Just need the hydrogen peroxide.” He calmed her, wiping away her tears.

“Really? How do you know that?” She looked up at him hopeful and then confused.

He shook his head at her cute little scrunched nose, “I’m the Tacoma Killer babe!”, he elated with his arms spread wide, “I would have a very empty closet if I threw away clothes everytime a little blood got on them.”

Y/N giggled. Sometimes she would forget her husband’s renown and think of him as her reserved, badass. Happy corralled her into the shower and quickly stripped so he could join her. He grabbed new washcloths, before joining his wife in the shower.

The couple used this time to check in and reassure each other. Both clinged to the other, gently washing away the blood and trauma of the day. Y/N rested her head on his chest while he shampooed her hair. She braced her hands on his waist tilting her head so he could rinse away the suds.

Happy grabbed her chin and she could feel his chest rumble against hers as he growled at the marks on her neck and face. He leaned down and rubbed his nose against her cheek. Y/N quickly stood on her tippy toes and brought her lips to his. Happy let out a groan before posessively attacking her lips with his. Y/N could tell he was reclaiming “his territory” and she wasn’t mad in the slightest. She gasped when his teeth tugged on her lip and he happily delved into her.

By the time the couple was done showering, both felt reassured in their bond and were clean of Y/N’s blood. They both quietly changed into clean clothes and Y/N let out a quiet groan when the pain in her arm began to make itself known again. As soon as she was dressed, Happy wrapped her up in her beloved blanket and handed the turtle stuffie to her before scooping her up again.

When they reentered the clubhouse, the mess had been cleaned and it looked like nothing had happened. Gemma walked up to the pair and handed Y/N a plate covered in some of her favorite snacks and told her that her babies had to eat before kissing her head and walking off. The plate was filled with cubed apple, cheddar cheese, some strawberries, dill pickles, a few chunks of pumpkin bread and a handful of chocolate covered pretzels.

Happy then carried her into church and sat down. He pulled his legs across his and braced her back with his right arm before sneaking away some of her chocolate pretzels. She began to grumble at him when Chibs approached the duo. He smiled at the two before passing Happy a bottle of pills and a bottle of water.

“She can take up to two every eight hours. Two will knock her out and one will just make her a little loopy.” He told Happy before turning to Y/N, “You can go ahead and take two now. I need to apply an antibiotic to the stitches and then wrap your arm, then I’ll leave you be darlin.”

“You’re never a bother Chibby.” Y/N stated before swallowing the pills Happy placed in the palm of her hand, “Thank you for taking care of me”. Y/N reached out and gave Chibs’ hand a squeeze before he began to wrap her arm.

“Tatum will come by tomorrow morning for a check up on you and the baby. She assures me that we handled everything correctly and that the medication will have no ill effects on you or the baby. She wanted me to remind you to hydrate and let others take care of you”, he said, giving her a knowing look. “I am staying here tonight, just in case. We will need to rebandage everyday and the stitches should be able to come out in a week in a half or so.” Chibs informed them before pressing a kiss to Y/N’s palm and standing.

He walked out of the room and Y/N leaned further into Happy. She munched on the apple and cheese chunks and sipped on the water when Happy encouraged her to do so. She was about three quarters of the way through her plate when her head began to bob. Happy had to prod at her to keep eating what Gemma plated for her. After her head bobbed for the third time, Jax knocked on the door and stepped through.

He looked at Y/N softly and waited for Happy to nod “Let’s do this brother”

Slowly the rest of the patched club members filtered their way in. Jax took his seat, quickly followed by the rest of the main table. Jax slammed the gavel to start the meeting and smiled apologetically at Y/N when she jolted at the violent noise. Happy pushed the turtle plushie further into her arms and tucked her head into the crook of his neck.

Y/N let out a soft sigh of content and snuggled in, letting the medicine take full effect. She would jolt every once in a while when the guys allowed their anger to take control or raised their voices. The vote to indict Maggot to face Mr. Mayhem was unanimous but his sponsor decided to move charters before the vote. He didn’t feel right invoking Mayhem on his prospect but it was well deserved and the vote needed to be unanimous.

Within the hour, Happy was handing Y/N off to Gemma who was going to watch over her until the men were done. Jax normally would make the prospects stay with the women but he wanted them to see this. All of the crap that had happened was due to a prospect thinking he was the shit. Maggot forgot that the club is family and he certainly forgot the consequences that come with betrayal.

Jax easily approved of Happy killing Maggot in the same ways he hurt Y/N. He began by telling the man that the entire club voted for him to meet Mr. Mayhem and when the prospect had the audacity to try to spew more hate about Y/N Jax couldn’t control his anger. Completing one of the steps of the man’s death by driving his fist through his temple.

Maggot fell to the ground but didn’t stay there long. The prospect had enough wit to scramble backwards when Happy stalked towards him. The Tacoma Killer had a sick smile spreading across his face while stalking towards the piece of shit who hurt his wife. Happy wrapped his hands around Maggot's neck and lifting him into the air.

Maggot choked for breath and Happy laughed. The killer waited until it looked like Maggot was about to die and then released his neck. Maggot struggled to catch his breath and flinched when Opie busted a new beer bottle and handed it over to Happy.

“You thought we’d forget!” Jax yelled motioning for Tig and Half-Sack to pin the squirming Maggot down.

Happy dug the beer bottle into Maggot’s arm and when the disgrace began to wail Tig punched him again. Blood was flowing steadily from the gaping wound running towards the garage drains. Happy then went wild with the sharp glass, rapidly stabbing the man repeatedly until Opie pulled him off and knocked the bottle out of his hand.

Happy’s body shook with adrenaline and a growl worked his way up and out of his chest. The satisfaction of killing the bastard was battling his desire to drag it out. If he wasn’t itching to get back to Y/N and their unborn baby. He shook out the jitters and gladly accepted a work towel from Chibs. His clothes were a mess of blood.

Happy trekked across the lot and into the clubhouse before ripping off his clothes and shoving them into a bag. He hauled ass up the stairs in just his boxers. When he cracked open the door to his room, Gemma was sitting on his side of the bed reading a book and Y/N was curled around her plushie on top of the covers.

Gemma got off the bed, gave Happy a look and smiled when he nodded back. She pecked his cheek before heading out the door. Happy silently maneuvered through the dorm towards the shower. He rinsed his body until the water ran clear and then soaped up. Once out of the shower, he threw on clean boxers before nudging Y/N awake.

She squinted in annoyance until she realized it was him, “C’mon doll. Let’s get you ready for bed.” Happy encouraged, pulling her out of the bed and to the bathroom. He handed her a toothbrush and grabbed his, letting her lean on him sleepily while she slowly brushed her teeth. He motioned at the contact case once their teeth were clean.

Y/N was taking her contacts out when Happy asked “Music tonight?”

She bobbed her head in response, “Can you put on Florence and the Machine?”

He nodded, leaving the bathroom. Happy pulled for the fan, put the record Y/N requested on and pulled back the covers. He heard the toilet flush and looked up to see Y/N stumble back into their room. She toed out of her sweatpants and socks before snuggling under the covers up against Happy.

His arms went around her stomach and Y/N’s hands rested on top of his. He thumbed at the baby bump. It helped remind him that their baby was going to be okay and that Y/N was safe now. Y/N turned her head to nuzzle into Happy’s shoulder and breathed in his deep scent of cinnamon and sweet tobacco. Y/N dozed off to the sound of her murderous man’s heartbeat and “Never Let Me Go” playing in the background.

[paper-n-ashes]

sparks and embers - chapter 5

Characters: Poe Dameron x Original Female Character, Kylo Ren x Original Female Character

Story Tags: Explicit (18+), Canon Compliant/Divergent (Set after TLJ), First Person POV, Love Triangle, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Porn with Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren hates Poe Dameron

Chapter 5 - Bubble

Words: 5.8k

Chapter Tags/Warnings: Tiny mentions of illness, mention of parental death, gratuitous use of the 'there was only one bed?' trope

Read on AO3 or Start from the beginning

~

I scurried away as lightly as my feet could take me, heart thumping as I made it to the other side of my quarter’s door. Holding my breath, I listened as Poe shuffled down the hallway, waiting for him to knock on the wooden shield I was hiding behind, exposing his knowledge of what I’d done. But it never came, instead hearing his hobbling steps enter the ‘fresher, water hissing out of the tap.

Thank the stars, maybe I’m safe.

I hurried to shut off any remaining light sources, climbing into my bed to bury my face under the sheets. Holding myself in frozen silence, the rushing water stopped, and muffled uneven footsteps paced back down the hallway.

Eventually, the realisation of what had happened started to settle into my brain. What I’d heard him do. What I’d done. What he’d said.

He was thinking of me.

A blush prickled my cheeks, the heat in my lower abdomen dulled but still noticeable. I tried desperately not to think of what could have happened if we’d kissed earlier, if I hadn’t pulled away so sharply. It nagged at me, this sudden desire damning me for not giving in to the urges ignited from Poe’s presence. I would have known what his skin felt like connected to mine, I would have known the smell of his sweat, I would have known what his lips tasted-

Stop doing this to yourself. It will only hurt more.

My eyes squeezed shut, obeying what the voice told me. I began to make a list of everything I had to carry out when the next day broke, the patients that had standing appointments, the treatment notes I had still yet to finish.

Being in my own bed for the first time in days made it easier for me to drift off into a quiet slumber.

*

When my chronometer buzzed at 0700 I groggily opened my eyes to the new morning, wishing I’d had more than 4 and a half hours’ worth of sleep. I nuzzled my face into the pillow for a few moments, hoping for nothing more than to extend my peaceful resting.

But my first consultation was set to take place within the hour, and I still had to make time to do the vitals check on Poe that had to be… rescheduled. A pang of embarrassment and heat spread quickly through my chest at the memories, rustling it down into the back of my consciousness. I needed to start focusing on my work again.

No more distractions.

Pulling myself up slowly from the bed, my eyes glanced outside the window to the still rising sun, rays of light now pouring in past the clear glass and hitting me with a subtle warmth as my legs moved over the side of the mattress. I allowed myself to bask in it for a minute or two, hoping it would somehow invigorate my enthusiasm for the day ahead.

No such luck.

Making my way into the ensuite fresher, I frowned as my reflection came into view. I looked exhausted. Copper hair was beginning to unravel out of the low plait I spent most days wearing, errant strands stuck to the skin on my forehead. A rosiness had settled into my cheeks, starkly contrasted to the rest of my face, another indication of the minimal sleep I’d had.

My eyes were slightly droopy, hazel irises only half visible. Sluggishly, I took the elastic holding together the weaves of my plait and shook the hair free, fingers combing through to soften out the knots created from tossing in the night.

Slipping off my clothes, I stepped into the shower, pressing the start button to an instant rush of molten water, basking in the sensation of the pressured stream massaging my aching muscles. I hadn’t realised how sore I was from the long trek I’d completed for Poe, but it was all too noticeable now when my body pulsed in delight from the searing heat flowing into my skin.

After freshening up to my normal state of being and donning my usual work attire - a light button up blouse and deep navy slacks, I worked to reform my hair into a loose plait that sat over my shoulder, twisting the strands smoothly down my chest.

It took me a few minutes of hesitation before I could push myself to walk out of my quarters. I was nervous. Not only for the way Poe and I parted, but also for how I’d caught him hours later. How was I supposed to not blush after hearing the way he moaned my name? How was I not supposed to refrain from thinking about the way it had made me come instantly?

He’s your patient. Just treat him like anybody else.

That’s the thought that ricocheted through my mind as I paced down the hallway, steady breaths preparing me for the rush of bashfulness I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid. Rounding the corner, I saw the hospital drapes had been closed to shield Poe’s bed from view, moving closer to hear the relaxed sounds of his breathing muffled through them.

Damn, he was still sleeping.

I had been hoping he would already be awake, simply to avoid the awkward disturbance of restful sleep. I hated it, hated shaking patients into consciousness just to prod them with medical equipment. I could always tell they despised me for it. But there was no other option. I had put this off for long enough.

My fingers slipped through the drapes’ opening and slowly forced them apart, thinking Poe’s eyes would immediately open at the rattling of metal rings against the rail. But as my stare scanned his body, then his face, he was still snoozing soundly. And it was anything but elegant.

He laid on his back, diagonal across the length of the mattress, the uninjured leg poking out from the sheets and foot completely free from the support of the bed. His casted arm was resting on his stomach, hand reached under the night shirt, exposing his lower abdominal muscles and the flickers of dark body hair trailing down from his navel. The other, bandaged arm was flung backwards over his pillow, face pressed into the cloth covered bicep, mouth hanging open, chest slowly rising and falling in his deep slumber. I wanted to giggle, but settled for a quick smirk before moving to the bedside.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, I shook him gently. “Poe?”

He rustled only slightly, mouth closing and forming into what I could only conceive as a smile.

“Poe?” I called to him again, the pressure on his shoulder harder this time. “It’s time to wake up.”

“Alex?” he breathed sweetly, eyelids still not unlocked, my chest tightening at the way he said my name. I barely had time to process it when his eyes suddenly flitted open, pupils widening at seeing my face not far from his. He recoiled almost instantly, neck sprouting upwards from the pillow in surprise, quickly jerking around to survey his surroundings.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” I said tenderly as he rushed himself back into a normal lying position. “It’s just… I need to take your vitals and check how those burns are healing.”

He shook his head rapidly in an attempt to rid himself of the morning haze. “Sure,” he coughed, voice gravelly. “Go for it.”

I pulled the leads from their hooks on the wall and positioned them on him, both of us pitted in silence. He wouldn’t look at me as I waited for the results to appear, instead staring straight at his feet, struggling to hold down the irritability peeking though in his expression.

“You’re not much of a morning person, are you?” I observed, failing to stifle a laugh.

He simply shook his head, still not letting his eyes deviate. “I usually am. This morning… Not so much.”

“Did you not sleep very well?” I began to enter his stable vitals onto my datapad, writing a few notes detailing his recovery so far.

His jaw tightened. “I didn’t get to sleep until pretty late.”

“Oh,” I breathed, urgently trying to abate the rush of blood to both my cheeks and in between my legs. “Were you in pain? Hungry? I’m sorry I didn’t come and check on you.”

I wasn’t about to tell him that I’d tried and failed. I didn’t want to embarrass the both of us by reciting how I managed to catch him in such a… vulnerable position.

“You’re sorry?” he puzzled, eyes finally reaching mine as I sheepishly looked up from my datapad.

“Well… um… yeah. What happened last night-”

“Stop,” Poe interrupted, his expression finally softening. “Stop apologising. I’m the one who should be asking for forgiveness.”

“But I-”

“Alex.” Poe stopped me as I started to unravel the edge of his bandage. “I shouldn’t have been so… forward. You were right. It was inappropriate. You’re... my doctor, and I shouldn’t have put you in such an uncomfortable position.” There was a tinge of shame flickering in his bronzed irises, his jaw taut. I could sense there was still more waiting on his tongue. But I didn’t want to pursue it further than that. I didn’t want to get caught in the black hole of wondering why he’d felt so strongly in that moment to kiss me.

“Let’s just both be sorry and forget it ever happened,” I smiled.

He reciprocated my soft grin. “Sounds great.”

Neither of us were going to forget about it.

*

“Thanks so much Miss Jago!”

I waved my midday patients off from the front entrance, the burnt, crumbling ruins of Poe’s X-wing still disturbing my view of the Raxus countryside now brightly illuminated in the heat of the noontime sun.

“See you in a month!” I called as the small children, twin siblings, scurried to catch up with their parents who had already begun their several hour journey home. As much as their monthly visits warmed me, I hated they had to make it so often. It was unfortunately necessary to treat the musculoskeletal disease they had been born with - one that slowly ate away at their muscles. They were mere infants when their parents had brought them to my door, tiny little bodies wasting away for an undiscernible reason. Thankfully with a diagnosis, regular check-ups, injections and medication, I’d helped them grow into normal little kids.

This was the impact I wanted on the world.

I’d left Poe to his own devices after finalising my assessment of his injuries. His X-rays indicated adequate signs of healing, most of his wounds mere red lines, and the severe burn on his left arm had healed extensively, so much so that I hadn’t needed to replace the bandage over his skin.

It was still obvious he’d sustained damage, but the scarring that’s taken place of the seared flesh looked like it had been healing for a long time. I knew in my bones that it wasn’t the bacta that did all that work, and hoped yet again Poe wouldn’t somehow come to that realisation.

“Huh, I thought you said there was third degree burns under there,” he had questioned, still seeming impressed.

“There was,” I answered shortly. “Bacta and time does the trick.”

He hadn’t inquired beyond that, once again accepting bacta as a wondrous miracle cure. Which it was, but not to this extent.

I stepped back into the clinic room and returned to my computer, typing a few last notes into the twins’ file.

“They were cute,” Poe chirped across the room, sitting at the portable desk I’d provided for him to continue working on BB-8 while I was with patients.

“I’ve been seeing them since they were babies,” I said flatly, still concerned with my inputting.

“I can tell,” he added. “They actually seem excited about coming to the doctor. Didn’t even cry when you gave them the needles. They must like you.”

I hoped he was too far away to see the manifestation of a stroked ego display on my face. Hitting enter on the last of my records, I stood out of the chair to make my way to Poe’s makeshift workstation. “How’s the repairs coming along on your little friend?”

“Slow,” he huffed. “Especially with my arm still in this cast.” He looked up at me then, asking a silent question.

“No,” I stated sharply. “The cast isn’t coming off until tomorrow.”

He made a playful attempt at a frown and returned his concentration to the complicated weave of wire and metal in front of him. Humans, and most aliens, seemed a lot less complicated to fix than this.

“The crash really messed him up bad huh?” I noted, kind of too obviously.

“Yeah, but his circuits seem to be a little more fried than I would have expected. He’s got big impact dents, a decent amount of smoke and fire damage, but that doesn’t really explain a lot of the wiring damage I’m seeing in here.” Poe pointed to the domed inside of BB’s head, a maze of tiny circuit boards connected to an absolute mess of melted copper wires.

I didn’t have a very educated mind concerning robotics, but still made my guess anyway. “Electrical sparks maybe?”

“Hm,” Poe hummed. “It seems that way. Although hardly anything that would have been caused by fire or ejection into a concrete wall.” He was deep in thought again, attempting to precisely pull apart the wires with fine pliers. But he was right, the cast did impinge on the proper use of his hand.

“How about a break?” I chimed, truly believing he needed it.

He raised an eyebrow. “What kind of break?”

“A break from this, using your brain and uh… hands.” I tried to smile cheerfully but it felt a little more like pity. “We could go for a walk, get your rehabilitation started.”

Poe’s eyes sparkled at my suggestion. “Oh thank the maker, I thought you were never letting me out of here.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ll take that as a yes then?”

“Absolutely!”

*

It took an infuriatingly long time to convince Poe to use any type of walking aid, outright refusing the z-frame, snubbing the bilateral crutches, only begrudgingly accepting to use the walking cane he was leaning on now as he finally got a chance to inspect the remnants of his near-fatal crash landing.

“I made it out of that,” he said faintly, and I couldn’t decipher whether it was a question.

“Just,” I reminded him.

He turned to look at me, eyes widened, glowing with disbelief. “Have I said thank you enough yet?”

“You’re getting there,” I chuckled. “You’re just lucky you crashed on my doorstep. Who knows what would have happened otherwise…”

I knew. He’d be dead.

“Lucky is right,” he mused, the shimmer in his eyes not having faded yet.

“Come on, let’s get you walking.”

I turned in the direction of the north village’s path, stepping in relaxed strides as to not tempt Poe into further straining himself. He followed my instruction, limping beside, albeit much less unsteady than he’d been without the cane.

We were quiet as I allowed him to focus on the task of walking, not wishing to distract him from learning how to safely put one foot in front of the other again. Soon he had settled into a steady rhythm, and I glanced sideways to see Poe’s face finally survey his surroundings.

Luscious green fields rolled out in every direction in front of us, large plots of land lined with wheat grass and varying vegetation, all separated by short, rustic wooden fences. Trees dotted the path we took, tall and flourishing from years of undisturbed growth. I could hear the canaries whose nests littered their branches start to chitter at the sound of our footsteps, many high-pitched chirps fluttering from under the cover of shrubbery.

“It’s beautiful here,” Poe marvelled, his face almost as bright as the sun that shone over us. “I can see why you picked this place.”

I smiled warmly. “I did a small amount of research.”

Hours and hours.

“Evidently. Although, a thought did come to me…”

“Hm?”

Poe was quiet for a few beats as we strolled slowly along the gravel path, then asked, “Why didn’t you bring anyone with you? Why do this all alone? Don’t you miss your family?”

Kriff. Pulling out all the difficult questions.

“Well… I suppose I’ve always worked best alone. Even through my training I found it would take me less time to come to the correct answer or work through a procedure if I didn’t have anyone interrupting me.” I stopped with a realisation of how the words spilled out my mouth. “Uh… did that sound too conceited?”

Poe chuckled. “A little. But I understand. Some people are just wired that way.”

I laughed with him in response, hoping he would forget the rest of his queries.

“Alright, I can understand the lack of co-workers. But what about family? Raxus is an incredibly far place to travel from Coruscant. I can’t imagine you simply cut all ties and left one day to live in the Outer Rim, alone.”

Yet that was the cold reality, the truth lingering through every day I spent on this planet.

“Are you okay?”

Poe had noticed the shift in my mood, the subtle pain in my expression.

I nodded with a smile that didn’t dissolve into the rest of my face. “They understood. They just wanted me to be happy.” I swallowed slowly, focusing all my concentration on keeping the tears from forming at my eyes.

I need to get off this subject fast.

“What about your parents, don’t you miss them while flying to every corner of the galaxy for the Resistance?”

Poe stopped suddenly, myself following suit, and he smirked a little. “I do. My father is on Yavin 4, lending a hand to the civilian defence of the colony I grew up in. And my mother…” His eyes softened as he reminisced, the smile never fading from his lips. “She passed when I was 8, so I’ve... missed her for a long time. And I’m sure she misses me from wherever she is now.”

Our eyes met, a swirl of profound soothing energy radiating between us under the midday sun. He didn’t know it, but the shared feeling of loss in the family we would never be able to see again was a comfort to me, to know someone else sensed the weight of grief on their shoulders too.

We were still for a few moments, both ruminating within our own minds, until our footsteps simultaneously crackled on the ground again. As we walked, I could almost feel a tangible stripping of the hardened layers I’d built over years to frame my consciousness, never daring to let anyone get too close to the core, the truth.

The way Poe spoke without hesitation of consequences, the way he so willingly trusted me, the lightness that it made me feel, I couldn’t help but want to mirror his energy. I wanted to let him in.

You’ll regret it.

You know what? I don’t care.

*

At first we talked of our childhoods, recounting the differences between the sprawling, artificial cityscape of Coruscant and the vast jungles and rainforests that encompassed Yavin 4. Poe spoke of climbing Massassi trees with his father, attempting to learn how to track Woolamanders by scent alone, and his first hazy memories of sitting on his mother’s lap, playing with the controls of an X-wing.

My memories were more rudimentary by far, as I recalled my schooling in classes of hundreds, learning how to transverse the maze-like Level 4860 without becoming lost, and the rare trips to the higher levels that I journeyed with my parents just to see the sky.

As we made our way back towards the clinic, we regaled each other of the differing sides of war, him attempting to avoid the injuries of battle while I took pride in mending them. It was effortless the way we conversed, a lack of discussion never opening up to an awkward void of silence. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so weightless, the heavy shackles of my long-kept secret feeling looser around my soul.

A twinge of disappointment tugged at me once we’d reached the clinic building again, wanting to remain in this floating bubble of contentment for so much longer. But there were still patients to see.

Poe was visibly drained from our long hike, a small tremor of exhaustion and pain beginning to tremble through his body as he eventually hobbled back into his hospital bed. I was able to renew his analgesia drip before a knock at the door indicated my 1400 appointment had arrived, albeit a little early.

To my surprise, and relief, it was a small crew of east village tradesmen, tools in hand, having carted along the scrap parts that would hopefully put my comm-tower back in working order. A familiar, gruff looking man with kind eyes, salt and pepper hair and a short beard framing his jaw, reached out to greet me.

“Alexys!”

“Vixur,” I beamed back, embracing him in a curt hug. “Thank you so much for coming. I hope the trek wasn’t too tiring.”

“Nothing we haven’t done before.”

The 3 others with him nodded in agreement. I recognised their faces but couldn’t find their names hidden away in my brain. They were all considerably younger, so I assumed they hadn’t needed my care so much over the last couple of years.

“These are a few my trade students, to help me. So… where’s this broken comm-tower?”

My eyes moved to look behind them. “Uh... under the wreckage. Just over there.”

They all craned their necks around in unison, Vixur’s face falling into look of unease. “This might take a little longer than expected Miss Jago.”

I gritted my teeth into an apologetic smile. “I know. But anything you can do to get it working would be unimaginably helpful. The comm-tower allows me to order supplies and do my research. I’ll be useless without it after too long.”

“Guess we better get to work then,” Vixur remarked, giving me a warm smile before ushering his crew towards the metal debris.

My chest thumped with appreciation for the older gentleman I’d known since I’d arrived on Raxus, one of the few who volunteered their time to assist in building my clinic. It was one of the things that cemented my belief I’d made the right choice to settle on this planet, just to help people like him.

As the four men began to carefully take apart the burnt metal frame of the X-wing, I returned inside to find Poe already back behind the workstation with BB-8’s insides splayed across the metal.

“I thought you were resting,” I scolded.

He didn’t look up, attempting exactly what he’d been struggling with before leaving the clinic. “I was bored. I’d rather be sore and busy.”

I chuckled under my breath, my rear almost reaching my desk chair before another knock resonated into the room.

*

An infected foot wound, an angry rash, a burning pain during urination. Just a few of the patients whose appointments brought little in the way of fascination for my afternoon.

Poe continued his work silently behind the hospital curtain to provide at least some privacy for my examinations. I felt the aura behind the screen grow intense with repulsion as I discussed the less than glamourous issues with my patients, burying the need to smile at the thought of Poe’s sickened face. Being in this line of work for so long allowed me a resistance to the kind of aversion most people felt being faced with nauseating and embarrassing conditions of the human body.

I had just waved farewell to my last patient of the day, when Poe’s voice suddenly piped from behind me. “How do you do this every day? I thought I was going to be sick hearing that woman talk about her foot,” he winced.

I turned to him and raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been in battle, but can’t handle a little pus?”

“Blood and ugh… pus… are two completely different things.”

“Hm… Poe Dameron, pilot extraordinaire, Commander of the Resistance fleet, battle hardened military man, is afraid of a little pus?”

He took my mocking with good humour, conceding. “Don’t tell anyone okay? Wouldn’t want my enemies knowing my one weakness.”

“Somehow I don’t think I’ll be making contact to help out the First Order anytime soon.”

“I would hope so,” he stated lightly, “We don’t need someone like you patching up all the holes we put in their soldiers.”

I knew logically he meant it as a joke, but it still minced at my insides, a flush of irritation coursing through me, and he could tell when my face fell.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, remorseful. “When you’ve been involved in war for so long it’s easy to become a little… indifferent about the other side’s casualties.”

Indifferent? More like ignorant.

How stone hearted did one have to be to consider the deaths of millions at the hands of fleets and armies just par for the course? To deem the deaths of those who just happened to be on the opposing side not even worth a second thought?

I worked my whole life to keep people’s hearts beating, and people like him could so easily stop them, seemingly without guilt. He made my work, past and present, feel absolutely pointless.

People would keep dying as collateral, and those who sentenced them to that fate didn’t even care.

All the positive emotions that had bubbled up for Poe during our walk today suddenly popped, disappearing into the air in an instant, leaving little behind.

I looked to Poe with narrowed eyes, my tone icy. “Good thing there’s people like me who actually value life instead of readily wanting to take it.” I marched from his hunched frame towards the hallway, too tired from the day to spend more time arguing about war again.

“Alex! Wait a second! I didn’t mean it like that!” he echoed from behind me, his voice ricocheting off the walls as I stormed away.

Slamming the door of my quarters, it was difficult to deny the tears of frustration threatening to break from my eyes. I feared his stubbornness wouldn’t allow any reprieve, and it appeared I was correct when I heard his disjointed footsteps becoming louder. Gritting my teeth, I felt the burning sensation of bile simmering in my stomach. His knock was faint, and not accompanied by his voice asking for me.

I strode back to the door and swung it open. “What?!”

Poe’s eyes grew wide at my snapping question, not appearing as hostile as I’d imagined. “The tradesman is at the door asking for you,” he muttered sheepishly. I was rattled for a moment at his lack of antagonism, before pacing back to the front entrance as he slunk onto the hallway wall, letting me pass by without challenge.

Vixur was there to greet me just inside the door, a sly smirk curling his lips. “Who was that Alexys?”

“He’s a patient, the one who survived the crash that wrecked my comm-tower,” I grumbled, in no mood for Vixur’s assumptions.

“Right. Sure.” His smile didn’t fade quickly enough for my liking. “Anyway, we’ve managed to clear most of the wreckage, and start our rebuild. But I’m afraid it’s still not even close to being finished.”

“I can’t say I wasn’t expecting that. Sorry it’s such a big job.”

“It’s perfectly alright, I had a feeling you wouldn’t have made a trip to the village unless it was important. We’ll set up camp out here for the night and hopefully have it running tomorrow.”

The thought of these men shivering in the frosty Raxus night, for what was really Poe’s benefit, made me feel heavy with quiet fury.

“No Vixur!” I protested. “You and your students don’t need to spend the night out in the cold! I’ve got four hospital beds in here, and they’re at least somewhat comfier than the ground. And so much warmer.”

“I thought you said you had a patient?” Vixur’s eyes drifted behind me, and I turned to see Poe leaning against the hallway door.

“Oh, he doesn’t require my treatment anymore. I’ll find a place for him. There’s plenty of floor space in this clinic.”

Vixur seemed to successfully gauge my mood, unease twisting his expression. “It wouldn’t feel right taking away a bed from the man who survived that crash.”

“It’s fine, really. He hasn’t proven to be half as selfless as you and your men have been today. It’s honestly the least I could do for you.”

I could sense why Vixur was wary. I had never acted like this before, vindictive and petty. But Poe’s hideously callous mindset had wrestled out a restrained wrath that was bubbling to the surface.

“Well… okay then. I’ll round up my boys and bring them inside. Much appreciated Alex.”

I swivelled on my heels to Poe’s downcast expression, knowing he’d listened to the conversation. “You can move BB-8 and your things into my office,” I said flatly, before beginning to strip the sheets off the bed he had called his for the past couple of days.

He didn’t say anything, mouth clamped shut as he followed my orders and collected as much of BB as possible into his arms.

It took him a couple of trips, and I faintly twinged with contrition as he limped back and forth from my study. But it was quickly buried in the heap of bitterness weighing heavy in my chest.

*

After renewing the sheets of the bed and helping the men settle into the clinic for the night, I showed them where to help themselves to my food stocks and offered them use of the ‘fresher. They were hideously thankful, and it made me contemplate what kind of sleeping arrangements they had in their village to be so appreciative of the lumpy hospital grade mattress I was providing them. It only soured my mood even more.

Yet another thing that war bestows.

It was mildly surprising that Poe didn’t pounce on an opportunity to debate with me in a way to clarify his stance, wondering how long he would let me have the last word. He had skulked away into the study to continue his repair on BB-8, his solemn aura a far contrast to the spiky air that hung in the air around me.

I fell into my usual nightly routine of reading, bathing, and dinner, begrudgingly making Poe a meal and placing it in front of him without muttering a word. He let out a soft ‘thank you’ as I left back to my quarters, and the same pang of guilt tried to rise up again, this time a lot harder to submerge.

It didn’t sit well in my body, this cold resentment that continued to churn through my blood. It felt foreign and unknown to my usual state of being. I knew it was because I hadn’t had to face a person like this, who deemed war and death necessary companions, in such a long time. I found myself impatient for Poe to leave, to return to an existence being surrounded only by those who had been too traumatised by war to ever consider it an acceptable burden in life.

It was starting to get late in the evening, my weariness from the day becoming increasingly powerful as I lounged on my sofa, waiting for Poe to get out the ‘fresher so I could instruct him he was to use my bed for sleep tonight. The doctor side of my brain had eventually won despite my irritation, pressing that he was still a man who had painful injuries and needed a comfortable place to rest them.

The ‘fresher suddenly opened, Poe rushing past my door back into the office before I had a chance to stop him.

“Poe?”

He slinked his head around the corner first, seemingly startled I had called for him, before shifting his body slowly into the entryway.

“Yeah?” His voice was gentle, albeit slightly hollow.

“You’ll be sleeping in my bed tonight,” I asserted, tone firm and professional.

Poe cocked his head to the side. “With you?”

“No,” I sighed, exasperated, thinking that fact would have been obvious. “I’ll be on the couch.” I patted the pillow and blanket I had beside me.

“Right, of course,” he mumbled. “I thought you had banished me to the floor.”

I took in a slow breath, trying to be more cordial than I felt. “It wouldn’t be good for your recovery.”

“You don’t have to. I could take the couch.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t a question.”

“Right,” he conceded, quicker than I expected. “Are you going to sleep now?”

“Yeah,” I yawned. “As your doctor, I would suggest you do the same.”

His face seemed bruised at my coldness, and I felt a lump form in my throat as guilt tried incessantly to escape into my expression. But I was too tired to care anymore, and sleep would mean I was closer to being free of his mood-altering presence.

I pulled the pillow over to the opposite side of the sofa and fluffed out the blanket so I could slip myself under it, facing away from Poe still self-consciously standing at the door. I heard him eventually tread over to my bed and climb in, the faint rustling of fabric filling the air until there was silence between us, yet again.

*

I tried my best to sleep. But I was restless, mostly from the discomfort of my sleeping place, the couch providing little in the way of relaxation for my tired body. There was also an incessant torrent of thoughts nagging at me, unable to stop turning over the conflicting emotions I had towards Poe.

In such a short time I felt so close to him, so connected, both care and desire climbing higher with our time together. Now that already fragile bond was frayed at the edges, threatening to snap in two.

In reality I barely knew him, spending only a handful of days in each other’s lives, yet somehow within that meek time frame I’d felt more attached to this man than anyone I’d encountered in my lifetime.

But his differing morals couldn’t be denied, and they wounded my soul, made me feel useless in this already overwhelming universe. What hope did this galaxy have when even the self-proclaimed heroes of the war don’t see themselves as murderers too? Did they think because their ideals were more noble that it allowed them to freely kill without care?

It didn’t seem to matter what side someone found themselves fighting for. Each had different causes, different reasons behind their crusade, but they produced the same outcome. A whole lot of death.

I heard Poe sit up all of a sudden. “Alex?”

“Hm?” I answered groggily.

“Can we talk?”

~

Next Chapter

Tag list: @tlcwrites @roanniom @foxilayde @blackberries45 @hopeamarsu @caillea @princessxkenobi @leatherboundbirate @blowthatpieceofjunk @mylifeisactuallyamess @poedameronloverx @lightsinthedistancee @paterson-blue​

(Please let me know if you wanted to be added)

[redsector-a]

AO3 Ask Game

I was tagged by @themarshalstale which, thank you so much! I feel like I always get missed on these (I know why, it’s been 84 years since I published anything but still). 1. How many works do you have on ao3?

46 it seems. Which...look I’m slow man so that’s not surprising. lol Also crippling depression does not make for much production, at least for me.

2. What’s your current AO3 wordcount?

309662 according to the stats.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

So do I could only AO3 or in like life? lol I suppose it should only be on AO3 since this is an AO3 ask game. Hrm. Basically AO3 can be summed up as: Marvel (in several iterations - all Avengers related) Torchwood Highlander But isn’t it more fun to consider my entire fandom life, which, I’m sorry, I’m old so...yeah. Not all of this is was published and beyond that a lot is not available anymore...which is likely for the best. Highlander Star Wars Babylon 5 Ronin Warriors/Samurai Troopers Marvel (again, several iterations also of note Avengers and X-Men both count) Torchwood Star Trek LOTR Stargate (SG-1, SGA) Mortal Kombat I dabbled with the idea of Potter fic but never got past the ideas stage.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1: You rearrange me till I’m sane Clint finds himself spiraling into a deep depression after the Battle of New York...until the Winter Soldier ends up saving him and inadvertently giving him a new purpose – to save the man that the Soldier had once been – Bucky Barnes. Not one to be outdone, the Soldier decides that his new mission is to ensure that Clint remains alive himself. Protecting a blonde man with a self-destructive streak is somehow very familiar to him. Through the back and forth of who is saving whom they cross the country and learn more about themselves and each other – and perhaps find a reason for living. 2: Five Dates Bucky Didn’t Realize He Was on And the One He Planned Himself To say that Bucky was surprised when Clint kissed him was an understatement. But it was nothing compared to the shock he felt when he learned they'd been dating for months without him realizing it.Clint gets whisked away for a mission before they have time to talk and Bucky is left to figure things out on his own - hindsight being 20/20 he can't help but wonder how he missed things the first go around.

3: Puck Luck Bucky Barnes is used to the ups and downs of an NHL season. He's used to the unpredictability of the game, knows that bounces don't always go your way, but that doesn't make a broken hand in the final third of the season any easier to deal with. Especially not when he ends up with an impromptu roommate/personal assistant in the form of one Clint Barton - his agent, Natalia Romanova's (rather attractive) friend he hadn't known existed before his injury.

It's just for six to eight weeks - what could possibly happen in that span of time?

4: Loose Lips Launch Ships

Based on the following prompt: “We go to school together and I think you’re cute and apparently you’re also the pizza delivery guy and my little sibling opened the door screaming hey sibling! you know that kid you’re in love with? you really weren’t kidding when you said his jawline could cut steel holy shit-” Bucky is the pizza delivery guy. Clint's younger (foster) brother has a big mouth.

5: Indelible Bucky Barnes has a pretty decent life – a good job, good friends, a cat that adores him - but something is missing. He’s always found body art to be beautiful and inspiring, and on a whim (and with the hope that maybe he can find what he’s missing) he decides to take the plunge and get a tattoo. That's how he meets Clint Barton. Clint's talented and compassionate and there is an instant spark between the two of them. It's not long before Bucky finds himself wondering and wanting more from the relationship despite the ghosts of the past that crop back up. Because Clint makes him feel normal in a way he truly hasn't for years...

(this was pre-Alpine so I was totally chuffed when canon confirmed Bucky’s status as a crazy cat lady (affectionate).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not.

I really really really want to do it but I often times don’t end up doing it. There are a few reasons. First, I am akwward AF and bad at interaction adn I feel like just saying thank you would be...not enough? Second - I often times tend to like...turtle (aka retreat into myself) when life gets Too Hard/Busy which happens a lot to me (sigh) and then I miss the vague window in my mind in which it would be okay to respond and then it’s even more weird. I do love and cherish all of them. Like there was one months ago that made me go “hmm...I didn’t think I was going to do a sequel to that fic (You rearrange me till I’m sane), timestamp glimpses sure but a sequel hadn’t come to mind” but then the comment made me think! So...who knows? lol Anyway, I literally have been rereading some in an effort to try and get myself going again. Know that if you have commented, I love you.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

At the moment? Probably: Look at you look at me Bucky's in love with Clint - problem is he's really not supposed to be. For Winterhawk Week 2019 - Forbidden Love (I really don’t want to give away the spin in the fic but...if you’re familiar with the Secret Avengers Vol 2 run circa 2013ish (aka when SHIELD initially ‘took control of the team’) that’s a bit of a hint as to the spin). Were it done, Torch Song would be up there. ;) Torch Song Clint is sent back in time, via an alien device, to 1938. While he tries to figure out how to get back home, he takes up singing and entertaining to make ends meet and does his best to not disrupt the timeline.Then he meets a 21 year old Bucky Barnes. --- A torch song is a sentimental love song, typically one in which the singer laments an unrequited or lost love, either where one party is oblivious to the existence of the other, where one party has moved on, or where a romantic affair has affected the relationship.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Does *wanting* to write crossovers count? lol I want, so badly, to do more crossovers and fusions (which...are kinda deeper versions of crossovers in a way). The only one I do have posted is a crossover between Highlander and Torchwood -

The Immortal Mr. Jones A series of vignettes (some long, some short) in the life of the newly immortal Ianto Jones. My most ambitions project that I have been working on since late 2011/early 2012 is a fusion of the Avengers with Stephen King’s the Stand. I will get that done at some point *shakes fist*  The Stand, for those who don’t know it, is an epic 1000+ page novel about a flu epidemic (I know) that wipes out over 99% of the population and then two figures representing Good and Evil pull the survivors in two directions for a showdown. So basically it’s a non-powered modern AU set in that universe. It’s a passion and comfort project. lol

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. Well, minor bitching back when I was in a prior fandom because I tagged a pairing in a fic but it was pre-slash and not labeled as pre-slash. I got hate on...I think it was Torch Song? And I’ve gotten hate on tumblr re me and my fic in general as well. Fandom! *jazz hands* Oh! And I’ve also been hit by those reviewers within Winterhawk (among general Clint pairings actually) who like rate you on either number scales or the “meh” scale. Which isn’t hate exactly but...it’s passive aggressive bullshit because I can’t believe none of them realize at this point that the authors can see their bookmarks - you know?

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. Do I write it well? I have no idea. lol

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of. Well...there was, I think, one of those reposting sites that had a few fics on it but I don’t think it was being passed off as someone else’s? I can’t quite recall. It’s why I have a note on AO3 about reposting my work anyway.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not entirely, but sort of. Let me explain - I am part of a PBEM game; which for those unfamiliar since it’s a term that was most heavily in use 15-20 years ago, in which you basically do a round robin type writing thing but rather than everyone writing the same characters you write your own characters and you play off what other people have done. Another way of looking at it is  it’s basically DnD without dice and written down rather than done out loud. You also don’t have to all be around at the same time. It’s a lot of fun and yes I have been in it for 20 years even though there aren’t many of us left but they are some of my dearest friends and fabulous writers. Wins all around.  One of the other writers and I have actually toyed with the idea of doing a co-written fic actually, mostly because we work super well together and keep getting ideas for things but can’t really do them as rpgs since the pbem style isn’t used much anymore.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Winterhawk probably. Though, let’s be real - Han & Leia are epic and amazing as are John & Delenn (from Babylon 5).

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Does wanting to expand The Black Stallion books as a wee child count? lol Not much of that was written save for world building ideas but there was a great oral tradition of telling stories to my friends. Otherwise...maybe a tie between Star Wars and Highlander. Star Wars was a love since I was super young but the writing bug didn’t hit me until around the same time Highlander was a thing as well.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? You rearrange me till I’m sane for sure. Though Torch Song, if it were finished, would be tied I imagine (I suck at picking favorites). Honorable mention to Puck Luck and Indelible. Tagging: I have seen this like a million times (okay 5) so I feel like everyone has been tagged already that I know. But...I guess... @vexbatch @crazycatt71 @heartonfirewrites and @disruptedvice sorry if anyone has been tagged before.

[youngbeezer]

number 5 for the tiktok thing with jon toews?

Referenced Post

Prompt-- 5. Running into each other's arms after not seeing them for awhile (w Jonathan Toews)

A/N: Here's another blurb from the 14 oddly romantic things blurb set. I only have one more after this, so this series(?) is coming to an end. I have enjoyed writing all of these sm! Welcome back captain serious!!!

Thank you for requesting, hope you like it :)

Word Count: 1345 (these have been so long lately idk whats going on)

Warning(s): mentions of his illness(?), but other than that i dont think any!

join my taglist :)

The sound of my phone’s ringtone awakens me from my deep slumber. It takes me a few moments to come to my senses and to rub the sleep out of my eyes, and once I am able to recognize my surroundings, I realize that I am once again waking up to a cold and empty apartment. It’s been the same feeling for almost the past four months.

Like usual, after last year’s NHL season ended, Jonathan and I went back to Winnipeg to spend our summers there in his hometown with family and friends. But this time, when I went back to Chicago for work in mid September, Jon did not come back with me.

During December, he started to experience these symptoms that left him feeling drained and lethargic. So, after seeing multiple doctors, Jon thought it was best to stay back at home to try and better understand his condition and get his health back on track.

Unfortunately, my job as a teacher was still in Chicago and needed me back right away, thus preventing me from staying in Winnipeg with Jonathan during this difficult time for him. It was definitely hard on our relationship being so far from each other, especially since Jon was sick and I couldn’t be there for him. But, we talked everyday and we both are very comfortable in where we are in our relationship, so we made it work.

So far, Jon does not know much on when he will be back in Chicago, and right now it is starting to seem like the next time I’ll be able to see him is when the school year is over and I am able to go back to his hometown.

I am brought out of my jumbled thoughts when my ringtone goes off once more signaling I have a text notification. I reach over to my bedside table to retrieve my phone off of the charger.

‘Good morning, beautiful.’

‘Hope you have a great day, say hi to all your kids for me.’

‘Love and miss you.’

I let out a sigh and go to wipe off the few tears that I feel running down my cheeks. Coming up on that four month mark has been extra hard lately. I miss waking up to his lazy morning kisses along my back. I miss the way we move in perfect harmony when we are doing our morning routines in the bathroom. I miss his goodbye kiss he gives me every day before going to practice. I miss everything about him. I also feel like such a bad girlfriend not being able to be there in support and to take care of him when he has been dealing with such a scary and unknown illness.

I wipe off the few remaining tears lingering on my cheeks and go to text back my boyfriend.

‘Love and miss you too! I’ll call you on my lunch break xx.’

I go to get ready for my day since I have to be at the school by 8:00 AM and it is already nearing 7:15. I take a quick shower and quickly blow dry my hair. I make a quick pitstop to check my phone and find another message from Jon.

‘Sorry baby, I think I have a doctor’s appointment during your lunch break.’

‘I’ll talk to you later, love you.’

I frown a little at his message. First, I worry that he has another doctor’s appointment-- since last time I heard, he was getting better; and I also frown at the idea of having to wait all day until I can hear his voice.

Today’s gonna be a long day…

(...)

Today was a long day.

First, I forgot to bring in the worksheets I printed out last night for my lesson plan so I had to switch everything around. Then, one of my students scraped their knee during recess so I had to take care of them and bring them to the nurse’s office, thus making me miss out on my lunch break (where I wouldn’t have been able to even talk to Jon anyway). And now, I am putting bandages on the back of my heels where my wedges gave me blisters. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to look cute today instead of being practical since I walk around and stand all day long.

My students were just dismissed, so I am currently just organizing everything that I’ll need to have ready for tomorrow. Once I finish up, I gather all my belongings and start making my way out of the classroom. I make sure to say good night to my favorite security guard before trekking to the parking lot.

When I make it out of the school building, I immediately go to take off my wedges. As I look back up in search of my car, I stop dead in my tracks.

Standing in front of my car, with my favorite flowers in his hand, is Jonathan.

Everything that was once in my hands has now clattered to the ground as my hands instinctively move to cover my mouth in both shock and excitement. Tears start to gather in my eyes as Jonathan gives me a huge smile.

Once the initial shock wears off and I realize it is actually my Jonathan standing right before me in person, I let out a little squeal and start jogging over to him. He sets the flowers on the hood of my car as I get closer and opens his arms to welcome my body.

He stumbles back a little when I jump into his arms, but he quickly recovers with a breathy laugh and by tightening his arms even more around my torso. As his arms wrapped around me, tears flowed freely.

“Oh my god. You’re really here.” I cried out, clinging onto him in fear that this was all a dream and he would soon disappear.

“I’m here baby. I’m right here.” He soothed into my ear, running his fingers through my hair.

At this point I felt like I was just uncontrollably sobbing. All the pain and loneliness of being apart, and the stress of not fully knowing how he was feeling and doing-- all of it is over now.

“Hey, y/n-- baby, please stop crying.” He shushed into my ear, trying to calm me down.

“I missed you so much.” I hiccup out. I pull away a little from his embrace to instead cup my hands around his neck to get a good look at him. “You look so good.”

Before I can ramble even more, Jonathan leans in and kisses me. Our bodies pressed together and our lips molded as though we were never apart. His lips were softer than I remember and tasted sweet against my own. I could feel his breath tickle beneath my nose as my left hand moved from his neck to his head to card my fingers through his hair.

It eventually started to grow sloppy as both of us could not contain our smiles any longer. I let out a little giggle when our teeth clack once more which prompts us to break apart from each other-- but not before Jonathan gives my nose one last peck.

“I love you so much.” I breathed out.

“I love you too.” He beamed back. “Let’s go pick up all your stuff in the middle of the road, eh.”

I look back at my belongings, totally forgetting that I dropped everything when I first saw Jonathan. We both make our way over there and gather all my stuff up before making our way back to my car.

Jonathan’s hands card through mine, giving it a little squeeze before mumbling out,

“It’s good to be back home.”

I smile but raise my eyebrows just a little up at him and ask, “I’m glad you are too, but isn’t Winnipeg technically you’re home?”

He gives me one last little peck before murmuring against my lips,

“Wherever you are is my home.”

Taglist; @heatherawoowoo @barzysandmarnersbitch @joelsfarabees @hockeyplayerstories @barzy-xoxo

tagging a few mutuals as well,,,,

@lovereadinghockeyy @carepriceisgoodathockey @prettyboyjackhughes @2manytabsopen @frederikanderson @bb-nhlqueen7 @cherrybarzy @jamiesdrysdales @luukasreichel @gigissports @cherrylita

[wwall-archive]

All At Once, This Is Enough - Ethan W..inters x Me

A/N: ~In light of the announcement I just made~! Surprise! I've been working on this. For several days. My apologies if I've seemed quiet, all my energy was going towards this! This is kind of long, but it's... actually kind of important to me, so I forgave myself on that front, haha. This follows the timeline of my RE AU, which I intend to continue writing out more in depth, in which the events of the 7th game occur and then I ignore the events of 8 even though I love it as a game because I just can't stop thinking about an average life with this man 😭 I do still intend to set this up for a bit of angst, because that just feels like how this needs to go, but it will be resolved shortly! Anyways, my over-explaining aside, I hope you enjoy the beginning of our story. More to come soon ❤️

Warnings: Vague references to alcohol. Allusions to a notable age gap. Mention of divorce. Me being intensely socially awkward.

Word Count: 1738

Tag List: (Thanks so much to everyone who wanted to be added, and as per usual, if anyone wants to be added or removed, no problem, just let me know <3) @sacredempressnatlyia @crowandking @solomates @ship-trek @nekociapek @blueberryships @ariesselfships @lysandthunder @queenvonhresvelg

~~~

As I stepped out of my car and made my way into this building, I took a moment to acknowledge to myself that I was not looking forward to the evening in front of me. Simply to brace myself, if nothing else. Sure, I didn't have anything against fancy events - I'd always actually been rather fond of getting dressed up - but the idea of being trapped in a room full of mostly strangers filled me with a level of unease only an introvert of my level could feel. I shuddered in horror at the thought of the polite small talk that awaited me.

Alas, some events were simply too large to miss, especially when they required the booking of a large venue, and so I found myself taking small, hesitant steps through the large, decorated archway that led to this event hall. I was almost certainly early, as I always was, and it was already too crowded for my liking, filled to the brim with people mingling, and a pianist on stage getting ready to play for a formal dance floor that would soon be filled as well. At least the open bar looked inviting, so I made my way in that direction, hoping it would provide me some small amount of protection from anybody who would be determined to say hello.

I reaffirmed to myself that all I needed to be here for was a quick appearance. Some brief greetings to those who extended my invitation to me, once I could find them, and then I could bolt faster than a startled rabbit. It brought me a modicum of strength, to know I wouldn't be here for too long.

As I made my way through the room, I had to admit that it was dazzlingly decorated, and I felt quite lovely all dressed up, like I adequately fit in with the impressive scenery. If there was going to be any upside to the night, I supposed it would have to be that.

It was a vaguely familiar voice calling out my name that caught my ear, almost certainly someone I had met through work. As I begrudgingly turned to meet them, I did find myself slightly recalling their face. I smiled as they approached and we shared greetings, and it was pleasant enough, even as they rushed into their next words like they knew I would exit the conversation as soon as I could in a panic and were desperate to say their piece, “Wallace, I really wanted you to meet a colleague of mine, he's a systems engineer my organization works with, I thought I could recommend him for… Oh, where did he- Ethan! Wallace, meet Ethan-”

In the following moment that I remained coherent, I was able to process two things. The first, being the features of the man before me, all short dark blond hair and light brown eyes, and slightly boyish features on a face that somehow still managed to convey his status as middle-aged, and a smile soft enough to take my breath away. Two, as I gazed upon the features striking me so, and stuck my hand out to meet his for a handshake, I became quite sure, more than I had ever been sure of most things in my life, that I was about to be an absolute goner for this man.

It took me a moment to come back to my own body, and so once I did I rushed to say, “It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr…?”

“Oh, just Ethan, please.”

“Of course. Ethan. My name is Wallace.”

“Then the pleasure is all mine, Wallace.”

The familiar voice from earlier cut in again, and I could vaguely make out something being said about a previous project that had been worked on, but I couldn't quite bring myself to tear my gaze away from the man in front of me. After a moment, to my shock, it occured to me that he didn't seem to have any intention of looking away either, nor did he seem particularly bothered by that fact.

After that occured to me and made my head spin from the sheer realization that he was content to hold my gaze, I was struck by mortification as I realized that I still hadn't dropped his hand from our handshake, and I rushed to let go. To my relief, he seemed shocked by the revelation of the discrepancy in decorum as well. In the corner of my perception, I heard a small laugh, and something like the words “I'll let you two talk!” Suddenly, fear struck me again, but this time over the thought that I would have nothing interesting to say, now that the official introduction was over, and that Ethan would depart as well.

But that didn't happen, and he smiled at me again, and in a meek tone of voice he began, “I'm sorry, I was sure it looked like you were heading somewhere before we stopped you. If it was a bother I could go-”

“No! No, I had just gotten here. Just making my way over to the bar.” I cringed at myself internally upon realizing I had confessed to heading straight for the bar as soon as I entered the room, but once again it didn't seem to bother him. His deep chuckle made my knees weak.

“Great. Don't suppose you'd want to dance with me instead?” The pianist had started to play a light tune a moment ago, and a few people had come together on the floor. I quickly thought back to the single formal dancing class I had ever taken, knowing I very well could not dance.

“I'd love to.” His smile made my mind go blank for a moment again. By the time I had come back from autopilot, we were on the floor, and he was leading me in a light, easy dance.

“How does a systems engineer learn to ballroom dance?”

He gave a small shrug, “A class or two. I needed some for… an event once.”

I laughed lightly, “Well you clearly took them more recently than me, the one and only dancing class I ever took was a one day requirement in high school. I'd be done for without you right now, I'm sure.”

“Then I'll be happy to guide you with what knowledge I have.”

Our conversation lagged into silence for a moment, and I internally kicked myself for letting it. What was I supposed to say in a situation like this?

I defaulted to the one conversation trick I had, “So, Ethan, tell me about yourself.”

He shrugged again, but he was still smiling, “Well, you know my occupation. Um, I'm 37.” I noticed him watching for my reaction on that one, but when I simply nodded, he continued hesitantly, “I'm from California.” He paused again, this time for longer, but I could tell he was simply working his way up to his next point. “Divorced, relatively recently. I'm a father, I have a little girl, Rose.” He stopped again, watching for my reaction once more. I hoped I was managing to keep my face as neutral as I felt it was.

“Wow. You're honest.”

He cringed, “Too much?”

“Much appreciated, actually.” I swallowed heavily, hoping I wasn't about to overstep or show my hand too early, and lowered my voice just a little, “Lets me know I'm not reading this completely wrong.”

He looked down at our feet, but I could have sworn I saw him break into a grin before he did.

He cleared his throat, looking up at me again, “So? What about you?”

And so I gave him the run-down on me. Occupation, location, age - I saw his eyebrows raise just the slightest at that one, but got a similar non-reaction to the one I gave otherwise - and matched most of what he told me, minus the personal bombshell. I supposed there were some things we each had yet to uncover about each other, and I was saving mine for later.

Upon the end of my self-pitch, he nodded, “Interesting.”

“Oh, is that all I get?” I did my best to make my tone playful, so he would know I was joking, but I had a feeling he would have understood me anyway even if I hadn't put in the extra effort. Our entire conversation, I had held the feeling that he was rather good at reading me already.

“You want more of a reaction, give me more to react to.” His tone was equally playful. I'm quite sure I would have caught the joke even if it hadn't been as well.

“Sir, this is still our first meeting, if you'll recall. We don't need to go dropping all our bombshells at once, do we? And besides, I wouldn't consider a rented event hall the best place for sharing all our deepest secrets, would you?”

He once again let out that chuckle that made me swear you could see the hearts forming in my eyes, and he darted his gaze around the room before meeting mine again, drawing his tongue across his lips nervously, and I could hear the uncertainty in his voice, “Then… do you want to get out of here? Go find something else to do that's better suited for getting to know each other better? Or sharing all our deepest secrets, as you put it.”

It briefly occurred to me that maybe this was a bad idea. I deeply understood the uncertainty he displayed. I knew damn well I probably wasn't in the best place to pursue this, and I had the deep, unshakable feeling that if I left this place with this man, I would be in far too deep to let go easily. I was drawn to him, even if it wasn't the most conventional, or even if it didn't seem like emotionally the most sure-fire, secure decision. Something about him signaled to me that he was probably in a very similar boat. I had a feeling we each had some emotional baggage to unpack. And besides, I still hadn't even made a round to say hello to the hosts yet, either. That was all I had even come here to do. I was supposed to have gotten here, said hello, been awkward, and left. It was supposed to have been a bad, short, night.

“Yeah, absolutely. Let's get out of here.”