#again i'll see if i have the energy or lack of a headache that i can write tonight

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! <3

[iwasntstable]

n.s. | if i'm there

🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/ONESHOT/IFIMTHERE [projects] ﹂ [my-work] | in-progress | favourites 　﹂ all | series | [one-shot] | blurb | head-cannons | ask 　　﹂ fear-of-failure | nightmare | never-just-friends 　　　 stay-til-morning | new-neighbour | [if-im-there]

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➔𝐢𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧𝐭𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞➔➔　𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘷𝘦!+　　[𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝐀𝐎𝟯]

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I didn't want to believe how much you needed help / And I just left you to be all by yourself / And now I wish I had seen that you weren't doing well / But I just came back to see how hard you fell Well, if I'm there to catch you when you fall / You'll have a friend down in Hell after all 　　— If I'm There - Bad Omens

summary: when things start getting bad, you withdraw. ignoring calls and texts, and descending into bad habits as you self-isolate. but noah knows what you're like and he loves you too much to let you suffer alone.

content tags: angst, emotional hurt/comfort, poor mental health, mentions of disordered eating, discussions of food, self-destructive behaviour, fluff.

word count: 3.8k.

note: having a rough time recently so enjoy the self-indulgent product of my stressing. 　　PS: please tell me if the layout of this post is fucked up so I can fix it for you.

Things are getting bad again. You find your sleep schedule sliding later and later, falling asleep in the early hours of the morning and waking in the afternoon, bypassing the day altogether. Meals are becoming infrequent and poor in quality. Appetite dwindling and opting to eat half a bag of microwave rice at 3am rather than dedicating time to creating a nutritious and satisfying meal. Truth be told, you didn’t have the energy to cook anything more, and the malnutrition itself likely played a part in that lack of energy. The trash was left to build up, and the laundry hadn’t been done in weeks.

The progression of all of this was gradual. So gradual, that by the time you recognised what was happening, it was all but too late to stop the rapid descent into your depression. And as the days go by, you start to withdraw into yourself. Messages from friends begin to go unanswered. You tell yourself you’ll reply later, when you have the mental bandwidth to engage in conversation. But later ends up being not at all. Too many days have passed, and you feel like it’s too late to reply now; you don’t know how. That includes your boyfriend.

　　　　　　　　　　　[Noah 💘]

　　　　　　 　　　　　Tuesday 　　　　　　　　　 　　10:45AM

— Morning! Do you wanna call later?    Miss your voice 

          morning! I have a headache —             right now and I feel like it's             not gonna go away :( I'll let                you know though.                 I miss you too ❤️ —

— Aw I'm sorry :( — I hope you feel better soon — Text me later and let me know    how you are ❤️

　　　　　　　　　 　　02:27PM

— Hey babe how are you feeling?

             my head still hurts :( —

— Want me to come over and look    after you? — Have you eaten yet?

       you don't have to do that, I'd be —            shitty company anyway                   just wanna sleep —

— Okay :( — I'll text you later tonight so    you can sleep

　　　　　　　　　 　　10:09PM

— How are you feeling? — Are you sleeping? — Hope you’re resting well. Text    me when you wake up so I know    you’re okay — I love you ❤️ — Goodnight ❤️

　　　　　　 　　　　Wednesday 　　　　　　　　　 　　08:41AM

— Morning, how’re you feeling?

　　　　　　　　　 　　09:13AM

— Are you awake? — Babe, are you okay?

      hey! sorry I was still asleep. I feel a —       little better but my head still hurts :(

— I’m gonna cancel today and come    over — I don’t want you to be alone when    you’re not well 

       no don’t do that, i’m okay really —              you know this happens          sometimes. I just wanna rest,            you don’t have to cancel for        me. not when work is important

— You’re important too — Please let me look after you

          I love you and I love that —           you want to be here for me,         but all I want to do right now                   is sleep

          I don’t want you to cancel —           important schedules just           to watch me sleep all day                I’ll feel better soon.             just need to give it time. —

— I’d cancel to sit and watch you sleep    in a heartbeat — I love you, I just want you to be okay — I have to go, I’ll text you later okay?

         I’ll text you back when I can, —            if I don’t reply I’m probably          asleep so don’t worry have a                good day I love you —

　　　　　　　　　 　　10:26PM

— Hey babe sorry I didn’t text all day I    was so fucking busy — How’re you doing now? — Are you sleeping again?

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 10:31PM]

— Text or call me when you wake up,    even if it’s the middle of the night I’ll    leave my sound on — I love you ❤️

　　　　　　 　　   　　Thursday 　　　　　　　　　 　　08:41AM

— Hey, are you awake?

　　　　　　　　　 　　08:55AM

— Hello??

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 08:59AM]

— Message me when you wake up

　　　　　　　　　 　　12:20PM

— Babe?? — I’m worried — Even if you don’t wanna talk can     you please let me know you’re okay?

　　　　　　　　　 　　12:46PM

— Babe please answer me

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 12:48PM]

　　　　　　　　　 　　01:20PM

     hey, sorry I missed your messages —         I’m okay sorry for worrying you —

— I was just about to come over — I still might — I’m worried about you

           please don’t I just don’t —          wanna see anyone right now

— Even me?

                  I’m sorry —             I’ll text you tomorrow — — If that’s what you want — I love you

　　　　　　　 　   　　　Friday 　　　　　　　　　 　　03:47PM

— I don’t want to bother you, I’m     trying to give you space if that’s    what you need — But I’m worried about you — You haven’t messaged me all day — Did I do something wrong?

　　　　　　　　　 　　04:10PM

— Babe please answer me

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 04:12PM]

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 04:15PM]

　　　　　　　　　 　　04:18PM

— Your friends said they haven’t heard    from you in days — What’s going on? You can talk to me. — You don’t have to talk to me if you    don’t want to but text someone back,    please — I just wanna know that you’re okay

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 04:23PM]

And that’s how Noah ended up outside your door. Banging incessantly and shouting your name through the wood. You could hear him from where you were wrapped up in bed, but you were half hoping he would just drop it and go away. Realising quickly, however, the futility of that hope when you heard another voice join the sound of his. That of your neighbour, the nosy one from the house on the right.

You groan and throw the blanket off yourself, flinching a little when your feet touch the cold floor. You have no choice but to go downstairs, and no time to change your appearance. Hoping to whatever God will listen that Noah doesn’t make a comment on the clothes you’d been wearing for the past week before you can get in the shower and change.

“I’m just really worried about her,” you can hear the unmistakable tone of Noah’s voice through the door before you even open it.

Hesitating for a moment with your hand on the door handle, you decide to eavesdrop on the conversation. “I haven’t seen her for, ohhh let me think... has to be about a week now,” despite the man’s voice wavering with age, it came loud and clear through the door. An unfortunate side effect of his hearing loss.

“A week?!” Noah exclaimed. Having enough of the old man sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong, you unlock the door quickly, wrenching it open and taking a surprised Noah by the arm.

“Oh! Nice to see you, dear. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” The old man sneers.

“Yeah, nice seeing you, Trevor,” you barely extend him a glance as you drag Noah in through your doorway, slamming the door closed and turning the key. You let out a deep sigh, your palms and forehead resting against the cool wood.

Noah calls your name softly. You squeeze your eyes tight and take in a breath before you turn to face him. Putting on the best phoney smile you can muster.

“Sorry about him, he’s always in everyone’s business. What are you-”

“He said he hasn’t seen you in a week,” he says matter-of-factly. There’s no hint of a smile on his face. “Your friends said they haven’t heard from you in days either, and you’ve been ignoring my texts. And calls.”

Your heart seizes at the sadness in his eyes. He stands there in your front room, his usual sweatpants and hoodie, but he just looks so defeated. You always tell him he looks like an upset puppy when he’s sad, and the puppy-dog eyes are working overtime on you right now. “I told you, I’ve just been busy, and I-”

“And you had a headache, and you missed my texts, and you didn’t want to talk,” his voice was as stern as his expression. You knew he wasn’t an idiot. That there’s no way he’d believe your—at best—flimsy excuses. You stand frozen to the spot, fiddling with the edge of your sleeve. Picking at the stitches, trying to distract yourself from the lump forming in your throat. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” Noah questions.

You swallow roughly, “I don’t know what you... I don’t-”

He says your name firmly and takes a step towards you, “I’m going to ask you how you are, and I would like you to answer me honestly.”

Feeling your heart begin to race in your chest, you swallow again, but it does nothing to get rid of the tightness in your throat. Or the dizziness creeping up on you.

“Are you doing bad again?” He sounds softer this time, and you almost wish he would just scream at you because when he’s kind and attentive like this, you can’t help but crumble and shut down.

You clench your jaw as your breathing gets quicker, shallower, and you feel the unmistakable burn of tears in your eyes. “I’m fine,” your voice comes out cracked and weak, not at all the sound of someone who's fine. 

“Don’t pretend you’re okay. Please don’t lie to me, because I know you’re not okay!” Noah crosses the room to meet you, holding his hands outstretched towards you, “what can I do for you? Please, I want to help.”

You cover your mouth as you choke back a sob, wrapping your other arm around your middle; you can’t hold it in anymore, and the floodgates open. Gasping for breath that seems to never come, you grip the front of your shirt tight in your fist, the clothing suddenly feeling suffocating and stiflingly hot.

“Oh, baby. Come here,” Noah takes you by the shoulders and pulls you into his chest, where you fall into him and cling onto him like he’s your only lifeline. “I need you to breathe for me, okay? Slowly, in and out,” he strokes soothing circles against your back as he demonstrates to you how to breathe. “Come and sit down here, yeah? The couch is right here.”

You barely register your legs moving for the numbness extending across your entire body, from your fingertips all the way down to your toes. Your tears are hot on your face, and every time you try to wipe them away, they’re just replaced by more in a never-ending stream. The room feels like it’s spinning around you as you move, only worsening the feeling of nausea rising in your throat. The plush cushions of the couch are a welcome relief.

“You’re holding your breath, I need you to breathe. Just how I am, that’s it,” he cradles your head to his chest through your shaky attempts to take in a breath through your nose and let it out slowly through your mouth. Your breath hitches uncontrollably with every inhale, taking in tiny bursts of air at a time. Noah, though, has nothing but praise on his lips: “That’s it. You’re doing so well, just listen to my voice.”

You missed his voice. As you worsened and withdrew, you found any excuse to avoid going out to see him, and you had been ignoring his calls for days. You knew you were doing it, and you missed him desperately, but with every day that passed, you found it harder and harder to reach out. It was hard for you to reach out for help in the first place, hard for you to admit to anyone that you needed help. Hard to admit it to yourself. Opting instead to suffer in silence and just push through it until you finally broke. You didn’t know any other way.

The familiar presence of him by your side eases the pace of your racing heart, allowing each breath to come a little easier. A little calmer. “I hate to see you hurting like this,” he whispers into your hair, his hand stroking through it gently, working to soothe the seemingly unquenchable anxiety. “I want to help you, please let me help you.”

It broke your heart to hear the pain in his voice. You never wanted to hurt him, but that’s all you seem to do. That cold hand of dread tightens its grip on your chest again, panic filling your lungs and replacing all the air. “I’m sorry,” you barely choke out, gripping onto Noah tighter. Warring with yourself, wanting to hold him close, but feeling like you need to push him away.

“You don’t need to apologise, ever. I’m here, I’m right here,” he runs his hand up and down your back, cradling you close. He can’t help but notice that through the fabric of your shirt, the bones of your spine are ever so slightly more prominent than before. He keeps his mouth shut. Focussing instead on quelling your distress and holding you tight in his arms. 

“I just- I fuck everything up. I can’t do anything right, I don’t deserve your love, I don’t deserve you-” Once you start talking, you can’t stop, finally letting it all out until Noah cuts you off, incapable of hearing you degrade yourself anymore.

“No. No, that’s not even remotely true. Don’t say that about yourself,” he says firmly, holding you just a little tighter. 

You shake your head against him, “all I do is hurt people and push you away, and I don’t know how to stop. You don’t deserve that, you shouldn’t have to put up with me.”

“I don’t ‘put up with you’. I love you, and I want to be here for you. Whatever you need, whenever you need it.”

“You shouldn’t have to drop everything to come deal with me when you’re so busy. You deserve someone that isn’t so fucking hard to love.”

With that, Noah pushes you backwards by the shoulders, holding you there so he can look into your eyes when he speaks. “You are not hard to love. Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever had the privilege of doing. You just…” He takes a deep breath, cupping your cheek and brushing away the tears from under your eyes. “You just need to let me in, and let me show you you’re just as worthy of love as anyone else is.”

The image of him blurs when the tears overflow from your eyes again, your face crumpling as you bow your head. “You’ll leave me," your voice shaking with the force of your sobs.

"Why would you ever think I'd leave you?" he asks, dismayed by your fear.

"Everyone always leaves," you tell him, voice brittle and quiet, shaking your head. "It's only a matter of time before you leave too."

"I love you," Noah feels tears prick at his own eyes. "I love you so, so much. And I'm not going anywhere." He lifts your head, once again brushing away your tears so he can look into your eyes, "please trust me to help you."

"I'm just so tired," you confess, and he pulls you into his arms again. 

“I can't promise to fix all your problems, but I can promise you won't have to face them alone. There’s nothing you could do that would drive me away. And the things that would, I know you’d never do,” he runs a comforting hand through your hair as you cry, his other arm secure around your waist. Your tears soak into his shirt, but he doesn’t mind. He wants you to give it all to him—all your sorrows, all your grief—so that he can bear it with you.

You desperately want to believe his words. To lean on him when you need him the most, but that insecure piece inside of you won’t let you yield. You don’t know how to open up to anyone without feeling like a burden.

Noah stays right there with you until the tears subside and your breathing evens out. Your head resting in his lap as he reassuringly strokes your hair, you feel the beginnings of a dull ache in your head that makes you drowsy. He rubs soothing circles into your back with his other hand, shifting slightly to get a better look at your face. “Have you eaten yet today?” He asks tentatively. Feeling your throat constrict under the pressure of guilt, you know you can’t lie to him. You know he sees right through you, so you decide to try being honest by shaking your head. “Want me to cook something for you? Or we can order something? My treat.”

You know he means well, but you don’t know how to say you don’t have an appetite without worrying him. He won’t let you go the entire day without eating, but all you want to do is sleep.

“Please talk to me,” he pleads, “I need to hear you.”

On a shaky breath, you settle for a half truth. “I don’t think there’s anything to cook.”

“That’s fine, we can order food then. What do you want?”

Chewing on your lip, you freeze. The silence stretches on far too long for you to be deciding what restaurant to order from, it’s clear you’re unable to answer.

Noah sighs your name, “you have to eat something.” 

“I know. I just… I just don’t want to,” he remains quiet, waiting for you to continue. “I don’t feel hungry. Thinking about it is overwhelming. I just want to sleep so I don’t have to think about it.”

“What have you been eating these past few days?” He asks cautiously, his tone light. Conscious to not sound accusatory.

You sigh, knowing there’s no way of escaping this. “Microwave stuff, mostly,” you play with the fabric of his sweatpants, feeling his leg underneath, fidgeting your anxiety away. “Rice, oats, ramen. Stuff I don’t have to wash up after.”

“Have you been eating every day?”

The question hangs heavy in the air, the tension only thickening when you answer "no,” barely above a whisper.

You feel him nod. Quiet for a moment until he too speaks so quietly, you almost didn’t hear it. “You can’t go on like this.”

“I know,” you confess.

“Please let me help you.”

The desperation in his voice is what does it—the final straw. You sit up straight, turning to face him. Wiping the residual tears from your cheeks and looking him in the eye. You know it’s time to really be honest. 

“It’s hard for me-” Your voice catches in your throat as the threat of crying again creeps up on you, not quite realising how much your body would resist. Taking a second to compose yourself—a deep breath in, eyes closed, releasing it slowly—your resolve strengthens and you continue. “It’s hard for me to open up to people. To admit when I’m struggling. I’m so used to feeling like I’m burdening everyone with my problems, so I just keep it all to myself. And by the time I realise I’m going down that road again, it’s too late to stop it.”

“It’s never too late,” Noah says reassuringly, tucking both sides of your hair behind your ears—the left first, then the right. “I mean this in the most loving way possible, but you don’t get to decide whether you’re a burden. You don’t get to take that choice away from me. The choice to help you. Your problems will never be a burden to me, no matter how big or small. You will never be a burden to me. I love you. I choose you. And I’ll never think poorly of you for needing help, ever.”

You don’t know what to say. Your eyes fixed on his. One of your favourite things about him is his big brown eyes. Always so full of comfort. So full of love that even you, with all of your self-doubt, can’t deny it. “I’m sorry. I know you said not to apologise, but I think I need to. I’m sorry for making you worry and for pushing you away. I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Noah takes your hands in his. Large palms enveloping your own entirely. “Seeing you hurting is what hurts me the most. I love you so much, all I want is for you to be happy and healthy.”

You squeeze his hands in yours, “I love you, Noah. I’ll try harder, I promise. Feeling so unwanted for so long before I met you, I think I didn’t realise just how lucky I am to have you until now.” Noah raises one of your hands, kissing the back firmly and holding it there, savouring the feel of your skin against his lips. Timidly, you ask, “can we get pizza?”

He breaks out into a smile, “of course we can! But you have to text your friends back first," he bargains, "even if it’s just something short.”

“Deal,” you can’t help but return his smile. “My phone is upstairs, I’m just gonna go get it.”

“Wait!” he calls as you stand, pulling you back to the sofa and into him with a hand on the back of your head, “can I kiss you first?”

Without a word, you lean into him, closing the gap between you and feeling his lips on yours for the first time in weeks. That familiar burn of tears threatening to escape your eyes returns, and when you pull away, those beautiful brown eyes are full of concern.

“It’s okay,” you reassure him, laughing awkwardly, “happy tears. I just missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” his smile taking on a more solemn appearance this time. “But I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I love you, please don’t ever forget that.”

“Don’t forget that I love you too. No matter what happens. No matter how stupidly self-destructive I act.”

Noah pulls you in for one final embrace before letting you retrieve your phone. You spend time texting back each of your friends, apologising for your absence and telling them you were okay, that Noah is here, and you’d explain more later. Noah, sitting at your right, creates your pizza order, periodically asking what else you’d like adding.

The two of you spend the night watching trash TV, settling into your usual comfort and hurling insults at the characters for making stupid decisions while you eat your food. Only realising after it arrived just how hungry you really were. And when you’re finished eating, Noah and you head upstairs.

You feel like a new person after you shower, coming out of the bathroom to find Noah relaxed against your headboard. The sheets on your bed changed, and a fresh set of clothes lay waiting for you to change into for bed.

Accepting finally how much lighter everything feels when someone is around to help you. You slide under the clean sheets, comforted by the warmth of Noah’s body beside you for the first time in too long. And just as you fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat and the feeling of his hand stroking your back, you’re determined to never let things get this bad again. Knowing you need to trust him, because trust is the foundation of love, and you love Noah with every fibre of your being. And despite how hard it is sometimes, you need to let him love you back.

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✉ C:/SYSTEM/APP/TAG

ᯤ 𝗨𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗦 (21) :　 ⌞⬤ 7 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗂𝗇𝖾⌝ @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning | @english-fucker @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard | @seven-glass-kids @runadaggerthroughmychest

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　+[MSG : join the taglist!]

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[evieskiesss]

Can u plz write a dom bill smut? theres a lack of bill smut lately and its so devastating + i LOVE ur writing 😭❤️

QUIT YOUR JOB- BILL KAULITZ.

𝙎𝙊𝙁𝙏 𝘿𝙊𝙈 𝘽𝙄𝙇𝙇:)

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝙥 𝙞𝙣 𝙫, 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩𝙙𝙤𝙢!𝙗𝙞𝙡𝙡, 𝙨𝙪𝙗!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧, 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙚𝙭 𝙩𝙤𝙮𝙨, 𝙥𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙨𝙚, 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙙𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚, 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙥𝙞𝙚, 𝙘𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 (𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙖?):)

a/n: hiiii and YESSS OFCCCC. I DEFINITELY NOTICED THE LACK OF BILL SMUT SO INHAD TO FIX THAT RQ😘. AND OMG I LOVE ALLL THE REQUESTS IVE RECEIVED, i’m sooo glad that you guys are actually sending them in🥹. please give me some time as i’m super busy but i will definitely try to do everyone’s requests as soon as i can!!

-

    It was a tough day at work. A day full of bulky paperwork, long calls full of appointments and nasty complaints, as well as some harsh scolding's from your boss.

     Bill came out from the kitchen, a warm smile on his face. "you're home," he grinned, walking toward you to plant a sweet kiss to your lips. You kissed back softly, not having the energy to reciprocate as much passion.

      He pulled away , his eyebrows furrowed at your state. Your face was flat, eyes hollow with turned down lips. Your shoulders were slouched while your hands sluggishly undid the buttons on your white blouse.

    "bad day at work?" he asked, a hint of sadness in his tone. You nodded slowly, your expression not changing as you continued to undo the buttons. "yeah," you replied flatly, the weight of everything now suddenly becoming heavier.

    He frowned a little, pulling your arm to let you sit on a kitchen stool in front of the island. "tell me, what's wrong?" he asked, leaning forward as he was eager to hear what might've turned your day so sour.

    You sighed, rolling your eyes a little as you remembered everything. "so much fucking paperwork, did about 150 pages. i had to take so many calls today, so many of them were just pure bullshit. this one lady called complaining about our policy and began insulting me as if i was the one who fucking created it. my dumbass boss basically yelled at me in front of everyone because of an appointment I scheduled when he specifically told me to do it for that day! apparently he didn't want it anymore and just assumed I was a fucking psychic that reads minds- and i can't get this fucking button off!"

    Your tone becoming more frustrated and aggressive as you spoke, nearly shouting as you almost ripped the shirt apart. Bill shot up from his seat next to you, quickly pulling your arms apart from the blouse. "okay, okay- just relax," he said softly in a soothing tone.

    You let out a frustrated breath, your hand coming up to rub your face. Bill's fingers gently began undoing the buttons, careful enough to not tug on the fragile thread.

     It was silent until he was about half-way, "i think you should quit." You chuckled, almost scoffing, "i wish." You kept your hand over your eyes, trying to ease the now throbbing headache.

    Bill shrugged even though you couldn't see him. "i'm serious. i think you should quit," he replied, now a bit more serious. "and do what? become a stripper?" you joked. He laughed, the smile coming up on his face. 

    Even if when extremely tired and annoyed,

you kept your humor. "i cant quit, Bill. how else will i-"

    "me. i'll give you everything you need. you don't have to work, y'know," he said with a smile, undoing the last button. You chuckled at his silly idea, "i cant do that," you shook your head, now taking the blouse off.

    Bill gently pushed the fabric back, helping you slip the blouse off before setting it on the island, now leaving you in your bra and pants. "why not?"

   You chuckled again, a small smile coming from his selflessness. His hands came to rest on your hips as he stood in front of you, admiring you entirely.

     "Bill, i'm not going to let you do that," you tried, your hands now running up his arms.

    He cocked his head to the side slightly, his eyes narrowing slightly. "well, why not? i mean," he kissed you softly, "-we already live together," he kissed you again as he spoke against your lips.

    "and," kiss, "i don't work by making all this music for nothing," he tried to reason with you. He caught your lips in another kiss, his lips pressing against yours with love.

    You let out a small sigh through your nose, pulling away as you looked at him with an uneasy smile. "i don't know, Bill.. i don't want you to feel like i'm just with you for money or something-"

    "nonsense!" he cut you off. He gave you a slightly pleading look, "you've been with me for years now, even before all of the money & fame. i would never think that," he reassured you.

    You looked up at him, your face still uneasy. He pursed his lips slightly before sighing, "just think about it, baby!" His face came closer to you again, noses brushing.

    "no paperwork, no calls, no mean bosses," he started, kissing you softly. "no waking up early, no dumb complaints, no stupidly tight blousesss," his voice trailed off jokingly as you laughed lightly.

   He smiled, catching your lips in another kiss. "waking up late, going out whenever you want, you can lay in bed all day, go get your nails done, your hair, anything you want," his voice became a quieter the more he listed things.

    "i'll give you anything you want," he whispered, kissing you again. The kiss was slightly harder, slower. His grip on your thighs becoming tighter. You moaned softly into the kiss, Bill's tone of speaking now getting to you.

      You hummed, pulling away just enough for you to speak. "I need to think about it, billy," you whispered back, your fingers gently playing with his hair.

    He looked down at you, nodding softly as he took his lower lip between his teeth. "maybe you just need some more convincing," he suggested, his voice becoming lower.

     His hand moved your hair to one side, exposing your skin to him fully. "what d-do you mean?" you breathed out, feeling Bill's lips give open mouthed kisses to your neck.

      "you're going to quit," he mumbled, "let me convince you." You didn't have time to respond before his teeth gave your neck a quick nip, you winced at the sudden pain which somehow bled into pleasure.

     "you're okay," he whispered, continuing to kiss down your neck. His hands went up to your sides, rubbing them. You let out a soft moan as he sucked on your sweet spot, now leaving a dark hickey.

      "c'mon," he whispered before grabbing your legs, suddenly carrying you into your shared bedroom. You kissed his neck as he walked you there, his scent invading your nose in a calming manner.

        He closed the door the behind him, gently placing you down on the mattress with him on top of you. You let out a small moan, his hands now undoing your pants.

        He slipped them off with the help of your legs, discarding them somewhere before slamming his lips against yours again. Your hands found the hem of his shirt, pushing it up slightly to indicate you wanted it off.

     He followed with a chuckle, tossing his shirt off before leaning back down. His hands gripped your sides, pushing you more up on the bed so that your head lay comfortably against the pillows.

      You both breathed heavily, his lips finding yours again as he kissed you slower, but with passion. His hand slipped behind you, undoing your bra before discarding it. He quickly fondled your breast, his lips ghosting over your ear, "i'm gonna make you feel good, okay?"

     He caught your nipple in his mouth, sucking on it as he felt it harden. You let out soft moans, your hands tangling themselves in his air as you arched your back.

     He chuckled, now moving to the other nipple. His tongue swirled around it, gently taking it between his teeth to tug on. You let out a light hiss at the sting, before being soothed by his warm tongue running over it.

     You let out a small whine, your hands reaching the buttons on his pants to undo before he stopped you. "let me take care of you. i know you've had a hard day," he whispered, kissing your breast.

      You bit your lower lip gently, nodding as his fingers looped around your panties, dragging them down your legs and away to the ground. He spread your legs open, holding them apart by your thighs.

He let out a low groan as your area glistened, his thumb coming up to meet his tongue for saliva. His thumb pressed itself against your clit, causing you to jolt as he rubbed slow circles against it.

     You let out a low moan, loving the slow pleasure he gave you. His fingers came down between your folds, collecting some of your wetness before pushing in two fingers.

A silent groan came from your throat as he slowly stretched you out, his fingers pushing themselves in until they hit the knuckle. The tip of his fingers gently ghosting over your spongey spot.

He slowly pumped his fingers in & out, pushing up against your g-spot as he curled his fingers. You moaned as his thumb continued to rub your clit, his lips coming down to swallow your moans.

You let out small breaths as you felt his fingers go deeper, now curling harder. He kissed you again, making it hard for you to kiss back as you felt the knot in your abdomen grow tight.

“feels nice, doesn’t it?” he asked against your lips, his fingers perfectly hitting your g-spot. You whined, feeling your orgasm grow closer. He bit your lip rather harshly, causing you to hiss.

“i asked you a question,” he mumbled huskily, his fingers going faster & rubbing your clit harsher. “yes, yes!” you closed your eyes tightly, feeling your orgasm approach.

You let out a dragged out groan as your orgasm hit, cumming on his fingers as he slowed his pace. “good, so good,” he whispered as he pulled his fingers out.

He licked his fingers up, enjoying the taste of you. He came down to kiss you again, his lips tasting of you as his hands sweetly rubbed your thighs again. “think you can do another?” he asked.

You nodded, half-lidded. He smiled, pecking your nose as he turned over to grab some toys. When you fully opened your eyes, you were taken aback by the items.

A vibrator set next to your thigh, as well as a dildo. You were familiar with the vibrator, but not with the dildo. You looked up at him, slightly uneasy.

He chuckled at your expression, his fingers gently caressing your abdomen. “you trust me, right?” he asked. You nodded again, of course you did. He smiled, “then trust me. i’ll be gentle,” he whispered.

You felt a slight burn arise in your area again, you were nervous but excited. You two hadn’t experimented quite fully with toys, so it would be a different experience.

He situated himself on his knees, between your legs. Your legs were spread open for him, your cunt still wet from your previous orgasm. He grabbed the vibrator, turning it to a low setting before pressing it firmly on your clit.

Your hips jolted at the sudden sensation, his hand quickly coming to hold your hip down. “ah,” you breathed out as it vibrated against your bundle of nerves.

He slowly rubbed it up & down, your hips bucking up as the feeling bled into intense pleasure. You closed your eyes, loving it. Suddenly, you felt a cold object at your entrance.

You looked down to see the dildo, lathered in a thin layer of lube. Bill looked up at you with a warm smile, “relax,” he whispered. Your jaw hung low as he began to push it in you, your walls stretching as you felt yourself adjust to the foreign toy.

It wasn’t that big, obviously not as big as Bill’s cock, but the dildo was decorated with various thick faux veins. A whine left your lips as he pushed the rest in, letting you adjust before he began pumping it.

He maintained a slow pace, only pushing it out slightly before pumping it further in you. The short thrusts mixed perfectly with the vibrations.

Bills finger discreetly pushed on the button, leaving it at a higher setting. You whined again, Bill’s wrist now thrusting the dildo in a bit harsher.

He occasionally rotated the dildo in you, making you squirm as you felt your second orgasm approaching. You bucked your hips up, meeting the thrusts of the dildo as you felt your thighs slightly begin to shake.

“do you like that?” he asked, looking up at you through his lashes with a playful grin. You only managed to hum back before your orgasm came crashing down, your hips shuddering.

“good fucking girl, you listen so well,” he cooed.

You arched your back, feeling him now tone down his movements in an attempt to drag out your orgasm. You panted heavily as you recovered, wincing slightly as he gently pulled the dildo out.

The toy was covered in your juices, a smirk on his face as it glistened. “so fucking hot,” he mumbled, now setting the toys aside. You tried to regain your breath as you laid there, your body covered in sweat.

You were deep in your mind, not realizing the sounds coming from in front of you as Bill undressed himself. He took his pants off, along with his boxers as he kissed up your chest to your lips.

“one more for me, okay?” he whispered, pure lust flowing from his voice. Your eyes snapped open, one more? He chuckled , “c’mon, baby. you’ve been doing so good, last one, alright?” he reassured you, pecking your lips repeatedly.

You let out a shaky breath, nodding as you felt his body come on top of you. His hands on either side of your head, his chest against yours and the tip of his cock right at your entrance.

He pushed his hips forward, his cock stretching you out, more than the toy. You let out a small moan at the burn which bled into pleasure as he buried his cock further into you.

He groaned as he bottomed out into you, his face in the crook of your neck. His small breaths tickling your neck. His tip pressed firmly against your spongey spot, god was he big.

He pulled back slightly, snapping his hips forward before slowly pulling back again. He kept a slow pace, making sure to bury his cock as deep as he could into you.

His short thrusts made you writhe, the way his cock would just barely give you a break as he pulled back, only to shove himself deep into you again, making you feel incredibly full.

“so tight. just for me,” be breathed out. He moaned and licked at your neck, his teeth gently grazing your sensitive skin as he continued to fuck himself into you. Your hips bucking up to match his thrusts.

He groaned as you did this, making his tip ram into your spot harder. “fuck, just like that,” he sighed, a burn in his hips starting as he started to grow tired.

But the way your walls would clench around him, the soft sounds of him thrusting into you and your moans, there was no way he was going to stop.

Occasionally, he would take small breaks by shoving himself entirely in, rotating his hips for friction. You wailed at this, his entire body weight practically shoving his cock in deeper into you.

His finger trailed down your body, finding your swollen clit as he rubbed soft circles on it. “fuck! i’m gonna cum,” you hissed, throwing your head back.

He panted heavily, now thrusting himself harder. “me too, baby. fuck- so close,” he mewled before he felt you gasp, your legs suddenly shaking.

Your eyes rolled back, nails digging into the skin on his back as you cummed. Your walls tightly squeezing around him caused him to let out a deep groan, his cum squirting in you.

He let out strings of curses, his hips now slowing down. You whimpered as he continued, his head dropping slightly to watch his cock easily slide in & out of you.

His cum threatened to seep out, but didn’t as he grabbed your hips, angling them upward to keep it in. “B-bill,” you moaned out softly with a scrunched face, his eyes fixated on your cunt as he fucked his cum into you.

“just making sure it stays in,” he whispered back, laying back on top of you without pulling out. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing your forehead lovingly. “gonna stay inside for a bit longer.”

You chuckled, kissing his chin, nodding.

“i’m gonna quit my job.”

[17snifflesandsnzes]

Hello! I have an odd request: can you do a Booseoksoon fic where Seungkwan gets sick while filming the fighting music video. But the odd part is can you include Youngji? Like as one of the caretakers if possible if not totally fine too!

Love your fics!

Thanks for the compliment! Sorry for the long waiting time 😅! Hopefully, it lives up to the hype! Hope you enjoy~!

We Will Always Have Your Back

BSS making a comeback after nearly 6 years was definitely a huge leap of faith for Seventeen. The song “Fighting” had been absolutely perfect for them, leading all 3 of them to want to work even harder for this comeback. Which is why Seungkwan was currently heading home at exactly 12 AM after having spent the entire day recording for the EP. As he was currently sharing a dorm with Chan, Seungkwan tiptoed into the apartment, careful not to wake the younger, only to find both Chan and Hansol awake and seated at the table. “You're back, hyung? It's pretty late…” Chan looked up from his phone, wine glass cradled in his hand and Seungkwan gave him a tired smile. “I know. I really needed to get my recording done perfectly, though.” Hansol gave him a deadpan look. “You should take better care of yourself, Seungkwan. You have to shoot the music video tomorrow, right? And here you are, out and about at 12 AM without a jacket on.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes before heading towards his room. “I'll be fine, guys. I've been through worse.” Both Chan and Hansol looked at each other skeptically as Seungkwan said that but he decided to ignore them. But just because you've been through worse doesn't mean that you won't be affected by the small things. Seungkwan definitely had to learn this the hard way.

Waking up the next morning was particularly difficult for Seungkwan. Mainly because he had a splitting headache. Cursing under his breath, Seungkwan forced himself to get out of bed. Even though his morning routine was basically muscle memory to Seungkwan, unsurprisingly, it took way longer today. When he finally dragged himself to the kitchen to get some food in his system, he found Chan already there, whistling as he made some ramen. “Morning, hyung!” Seungkwan winced at his not-so-loud-but-loud-to-him voice. “Morning.” Chan looked at him in concern at the utter lack of energy in his voice. “You okay, hyung? You sound super tired.” Seungkwan took a seat at the table and rested his head on the cool surface. “I'll be fine, Chan-ah. I'll have to be.” He heard the tell-tale sound of Chan sighing in exasperation as he placed a bowl of ramen in front of Seungkwan, but fortunately, Chan didn't say anything. After eating as much as his appetite could handle, Seungkwan was soon in his company car, driving to the music video set.

On arrival, Seungkwan was immediately swarmed by the other two members of BSS. Seokmin ruffled his hair and Soonyoung gave him a teasing look. “Oh, Seungkwanie~! How could you be late to shoot our first comeback in 6 years?!” He asked in mock-betrayal. Seungkwan rolled his eyes but there was no heat behind the action. “I got caught up in traffic, hyung! Of course I didn't want to be late!” Seungkwan pouted and Soonyoung and Seokmin laughed. “Let's get started then!” Seokmin said as he led the way to the cameras. Seungkwan braced himself for a long day. He could do this. He had to.

After about an hour into the shoot, Seungkwan had given up completely. His headache made him unable to focus on anything the director or his hyungs were saying, and he just wanted this day to end. After the first shooting was over, Seokmin approached him. “Seungkwan-ah, are you okay? You look like you barely slept last night.” Seungkwan sniffled lightly, the action causing a tickle to flare up at the back of his sinuses. He turned away from Seokmin and brought his hands up to cup his nose and mouth. “Hh'IkTChiHh!-” Seungkwan sniffled again, the sneeze having caused his nose to start running as well. When he turned towards Seokmin again, he could see the worry in his hyung's eyes. “Seungkwan-ah, are you sick?” Seungkwan shook his head, the action causing him to wince. Damn this headache. “I'll be fine, hyung. You don't have to worry.” Seokmin gave him an unconvinced look but didn't say anything.

The rest of the shooting was difficult, to say the least. Now that he'd sneezed once, it was almost impossible to hold back the tickling sensation at the back of his sinuses. After the first shoot, Seungkwan was supposed to shoot alone. Despite wanting to just curl up in bed and cry, Seungkwan tried to focus on the director's instructions. As he waited for the camera to start rolling, he felt the irritating tickle come back, and he immediately brought an arm to his face. “Ah, PD-nim, could you wait a sec…hh'IktChiHh!- hh'ItChiHh!-” Seungkwan sniffled wetly as the staff blessed him. “Seungkwan-ssi, are you ready to start now?” The director asked him kindly, and Seungkwan nodded immediately. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Seungkwan willed himself to be alright.

Miraculously, Seungkwan survived the rest of the shoot. Well, that was until they got to the shoot with Youngji, who was featuring in their song. She was bubbly as always as she greeted both his members and patted him, slightly harshly, on the back. Seungkwan tried his best to be his normal self, but he could tell that Youngji saw right through him. Before they began with the shoot, she approached him. “Are you okay, sunbae?” Seungkwan rubbed a hand over his face, turning towards her, plastering the biggest smile on his face. “I'm fine, Youngji-yah. You don't have to worry.” Just as Youngji was about to argue, Seungkwan felt the overwhelming urge to sneeze come back, and he pinched his nose between his fingers, eyes fluttering shut. “hh'NgtChiHh!- hh'ItChiHh!-” Seungkwan blinked away the irritated tears from his eyes, and Youngji patted his arm gently. “Sunbae, I think you're sick,” She said kindly. “You need to rest.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes at the tone of her voice, which sounded so obvious. “Youngji-yah, I can't just go back home on the day of the mv shoot of our first comeback!” He said, his voice rising with irritation. At that statement, he felt someone's arm wrap around his shoulders. “But you can, Seungkwan-ah. You need to rest when you're sick. We can shoot the mv some other time, and your health is more important.” Soonyoung ruffled his hair as he said that, and Youngji nodded as hard as she could. Seungkwan sighed. “Fine. I'll rest if that's what you want.” Seokmin managed to catch his last sentence, and he joined the three of them immediately. “Finally! Let's get you back home, Seungkwan-ah.” Seungkwan nodded, feeling the tickle at the back of his sinuses flare up again. Sniffling softly, he rubbed his nose with his wrist. Unfortunately, that did nothing to hold off the intense tickle. Admitting defeat, Seungkwan cupped his nose and mouth with his hands, gasping softly. “hh'IktChiHhh!- hh'IktShUhHh!-” “Bless you.” Seokmin said softly, putting an arm around Seungkwan. Seungkwan leaned against his hyung a little, drained out by the day.

Soon enough, his hyungs brought him back to his shared dorm with Chan. Chan himself wasn't home, but he'd left some kalguksu for Seungkwan. Soonyoung laughed immediately upon seeing that. “We really do know our members best. How did he know you were sick?” Seungkwan smiled softly, making a mental note to thank Chan later. “I think he caught on that I was sick this morning. He said that I looked too tired.” Seokmin nodded thoughtfully while Soonyoung heated up the kalguksu. Seokmin and Soonyoung kept him company while he ate, and as he entered his bedroom, Seokmin pulled him into a hug. “Get well soon, Seungkwan-ah! Let's film the mv once you're better!” Seungkwan nodded against Seokmin's shoulder while Soonyoung patted his head. And as Seungkwan got into bed, he realized these really were the moments he cherished the most with the members. Because he knows they'll always have his back.

[mr-i-dont-care-sick]

Madness combat x android! reader

Part 2!.

hello! It's been a long time right? Well, I'm slowly getting back to writing, So I'll start slowly, It's been a while since I read or watch anything else about Madness combat, so I'm sorry if the personality isn't very faithful to the original :((

...Well, I guess we should start where we left off right?

[ Y/n POV ]

Your system loaded before you woke up, it seemed like something or someone had woken you up... After the capsule door opened you fell to the ground and looked around with your vision full of defects, It was difficult to recognize everything that was happening around you. around with so many screens of errors and bugs back and forth, the only thing that was visibly possible for you to recognize was a figure, No, two

Two figures in front of him, Strangely enough, they didn't seem to have a normal face, God, They weren't even normal to be exact! Ok, maybe you're exaggerating a little because your vision isn't the best, but you could easily notice that they weren't humans in front of you.

After analyzing them a little you couldn't recognize what those things were, Your system didn't see any possible logical answer to what they would be, You soon concluded that you won't get anything by playing guesswork, So you soon speak your result out loud recognition

“ u̵͕̭̘ͅn̶̗̐k̵͉̖͌̚n̵̑̀o̴̤̠̙͙̍w̶͚̯̱n̵̈̍͗ c̸̹̞̺͐̄̑r̴͔̃̓̈́e̴̩̊ą̸̵̢̝̻̔̽̈́t ̵͑ ̲̖̯u̶̽͝r̸̞̋̂́̇è̴̱́̈́̍ ”

The two creatures seemed to be confused. You couldn't tell if it was your voice that sounded more like a TV hiss or your analysis of them that came out loud by accident.

But it seems that today really isn't your lucky day, because as soon as you said that you noticed that you were low on battery, due to a lack of energy your vision quickly went dark and the last thing you could hear was the impact of your head on the hard floor of the place

Loading.

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Charging complete ✓

Battery [100%]

Your vision slowly began to return to your senses. You felt strong enough to lift your hand and look at it for a moment, analyzing it and checking to see if there was any damage caused.

“ Oh, heay! I'm glad you woke up, I thought it would fail again, Your system is really difficult to understand so it would be a huge headache to try everything again ” The unknown voice says with a soft laugh next to you and you look at it for a moment, It looked like one of the creatures you had seen when it was turned on after so long, It wore a dark gray cap and had some bandages on its head, In addition to having a lit cigarette in its mouth

“ Hamm, hey, are you okay...? ” the creature seems to be confused by the long moment you were staring at it in a somewhat uncomfortable silence

You weren't confused however, nor scared or anything like that, the only thing that was going through your mind... Was how agonizing it was to see that cigarette burning in front of you, In a quick movement you take that cigarette out of your mouth. creature catching him off guard

“ H-hey! ” He was visibly even more confused by your action but a little irritated too, He tries to take the cigarette back but you crush it with your hand just like that

“ Why did you do that!? ” The Creature asks, visibly upset and a little irritated by what you did, You just didn't seem to care much about it and wiped your hand on your clothes and then looked at him with a neutral expression

“ According to information, cigarettes not only harm your health, causing diseases such as different types of cancer, cardiovascular diseases, respiratory diseases, among others, but also bring harm to the environment ” The Creature seems to be even more confused by his long speech about the bad guys with cigarettes, But soon he shakes his head and looks for something in his pocket

“ this is what I get in return? ” He speaks in a slightly sarcastic way but joking a little

“ I know I didn't ask to be turn on ” You give a direct answer and then get up from the table you were sitting at

“ Whatever, at least I still have more emergency cigarettes!~ ” The Creature says taking a cigarette box from his pocket and humming happily, opening it to get one, but you quickly pick it up again and then throw the cigarette box into the floor and step on it

“ ... ” The creature remains silent looking at his cigarette box crushed on the floor, then you look at each other in silence for a few minutes before he speaks again

“ you damned little shi- ”

(Sorry if there are any errors in English! I usually use a translator and sometimes it doesn't come out the way I want, but I hope you liked it!)

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #57 (part one)

Journal Entry #56 (part three) // STORY INDEX

Victor

So, uh... it's been a really long time.

I'm embarrassed to say, I actually had to check to see when either of us last recorded anything. Turns out, the last entry was Yuri's, and he posted it way back in the middle of March, the day I got my glasses.

It's the seventh of June today. Oops. Talk about major radio silence.

But, just because we haven't posted anything, that doesn't mean our lives haven't been eventful for the past three months. Yuri and I have had quite a lot going on, and maybe our lack of updates is a testament to that.

We were consumed by planning, packing, and preparing Yuri's immigration application for part of the time. Somehow I forgot how much work is involved in an international move despite having already done it before, a little over two years ago. This time is different because it's not just me. It's also Yuri and our dogs, and we've got the purchase of a house thrown into the mix as well, just to make things more complicated. Add that to my and Yuri's respective recovery, continuing drama with the extended family, and some much-needed relationship repair with a few of our friends, and you'll see we've got a very full life indeed.

I'm happy to report that I'm fully recovered from my accident. I was in physio for my arms up until the end of April, but the physical therapist said I could stop the day I told her I was able to lift my own body weight — all 86 kilograms of it — on the pull-up bar at work. I showed her the video Tomiko made of me doing it with just one arm, and the PT said it was obvious I could manage my own physical rehabilitation from that point.

As for the post-concussion symptoms, I'm no longer getting any headaches or random bouts of nausea, and I'm not nearly as light-sensitive now. The first day I was able to go up the mountain again, I had to wear ski goggles because the light reflecting off the snow made my eyes hurt. I really don't like wearing those, and I was glad when I was comfortable enough to take them off.

Yeah, my return to the slopes... that was an event. It probably deserves a whole entry of its own, but let’s just say Yuri, Sakura and Sakura's husband Takeshi made such a big production of it that it's not a day I'll soon forget.

Yuri said he had to be there, so I bundled him up in his warmest clothes, and then Takeshi and I wrapped him in a blanket and hauled him up the mountain on a rescue sled that Takeshi borrowed from Mountain Patrol. Sakura followed with our gear.

Takeshi situated Yuri in a good position to see everything, while Sakura and I got ready, and then it was time. We only did a few runs on one of the intermediate trails, but that was fine by me. I was admittedly nervous, and I didn't think I was ready to practice on the slalom course or the expert slope.

My first run was awful in my opinion, but I felt like I was getting my form and my courage back by the middle of the second one. When I pushed off for the third run, I felt the old, familiar rush of adrenaline coursing through my body and everything was as fluid and natural as if I'd never been away.

By the end of the third trip down the mountain, I was ready to stop for the day. It'd taken way more energy than I'd anticipated, and I was looking forward to going home for a hot bath and then maybe some cuddling and a nap with Yuri. He was exhausted too, mostly from waving his arms around and yelling himself hoarse, cheering me on.

Anyway, you guys all know that I could go on and on forever about snowboarding, so I'll stop here before this entry really does become all about that.

I should tell you about the relatively new thing in my life, which is my glasses. I wasn't sure I'd be okay with them at first, mostly because I didn't like having something constantly touching my face, but I got used to them pretty quickly and now I barely notice them at all. For the first couple of weeks, I wore them throughout the entire day, at the suggestion of the optometrist, and only took them off if I was driving or snowboarding. Now I just put them on if I'm doing something where I need to see clearly close up, like playing games, using the computer or reading.

I'm thrilled that Dr. Ishida was totally right when she said my ability to read was more about vision than intellect. Since getting my glasses, I'm going through books like crazy. I didn't realize how entertaining reading could be, but I guess that's because it's difficult to have a good time doing something when you can only do it for five minutes before you start to feel like your eyeballs might fall out from the strain. Now, I can read for hours at a time if I want to, and it's awesome. Did you know there's a genre of action novels? Kind of like action movies, but you read the story yourself and create the movie part of it in your imagination. It's great.

Yuri likes my newfound ability to read just as much as I do, I think. There's also a genre of historical novels which he happily introduced me to, and then he convinced me that I should read to him at bedtime. So, that became our thing up until I left. We'd curl up in bed together and either I'd read some of his current book to him, or he'd read some of mine to me.

It's been hard for us to read to each other lately, though, since I left Japan on the fifteenth of May. Mom and Julian let me stay with them for a few days until the transaction for our house closed on the eighteenth, and then I moved into our forever home. Except, it didn't feel like our forever home without Yuri there. If I thought leaving Yuri behind in Japan was painful, settling into that spacious house all alone might've been one of the most heartbreaking experiences I've had in recent memory.

Okay, I'm not technically alone. Sachiko the ghost is here, but sharing the place with her hasn't turned out to be as fun as I imagined.

For the first three or four days, I didn't see her at all, and when I finally did find her, she scared the crap out of me by making the tea machine levitate. Apparently, she was mad that I'd used her favourite mug for my tea.

Robert and Kim had left a few dishes in the house, including two mugs, and I'd used one of them because it was conveniently there. How was I supposed to know which one was Sachiko's? Up to that point, I didn't even know ghosts could drink tea, much less that they'd have a mug preference.

I think Sachiko and I are going to need time to get to know each other. She doesn’t seem to trust me, and after the tea machine incident, I’m kinda wary of her too.

The first night I spent in the house, I barely slept at all. Yuri and I chatted on FaceTime until his mother told him to get off his iPad and come have lunch, and then I was on my own. Noon for him was midnight for me, and there were a lot of hours between then and morning when I'd be able to talk to him again.

That was probably super confusing, wasn't it? I guess I should back up a bit and properly explain what's going on.

Just as Yuri and I both feared, he couldn't leave in the middle of his nutrition rehabilitation therapy. We found out that even with Dr. Kasongo's string-pulling to get him onto Dr. Kim's patient caseload, there still might be a months-long waiting time for him to see the doctor and the other professionals for the treatment he needs. He's already on the list, but since there's no way for him to transition seamlessly from one care provider to another, Dr. Kasongo suggested that it'd be better for him to finish his therapy and get his eating routine stabilized before he moves to another country. We agreed with her recommendation because he's been making such great progress, and we didn't want to derail it with a long interruption of his care.

It was a tough choice, but we ultimately decided that I’d travel home by myself to deal with the house closing, and so I could walk my mom down the aisle at her wedding. After the wedding, I'm planning to spend a week in Brindleton Bay with Grandpa Michael, and then I’ll return to Mt. Komorebi to be with Yuri until he's ready to travel. It isn't ideal and neither of us particularly likes it, but as they say, needs must.

The other half of the plan was for Yuri and the dogs to move in with his parents while I'm away. Neither his parents nor I felt comfortable with the idea of him staying alone, and since Mrs. Okamoto is on a leave of absence from work so she can devote her attention to taking care of baby Kinai, that means Yuri will never be without someone nearby if he needs anything. He complained about having to live with his parents temporarily, but I think he's secretly relieved to be close to his mother and to let her help look after him.

It's fascinating to me, how Yuri and I slipped so easily into our old habits that we had at the beginning of our relationship. We'd originally met online in November, not long after Yuri turned twenty and just before I turned twenty-one. His birthday is the twentieth of September and mine is the second of December, in case you may not recall. By February of the following year, we knew for sure that we were in love and wanted to be together forever, and I literally spent the next three years hoarding my money and learning Japanese so I could eventually travel there to be with him. Anyway, During that time, we talked on the phone or on FaceTime least twice every single day, and there were usually lots of texts and pictures and the occasional email or video exchanged in between.

Needless to say, scheduling our calls was important because of that pesky twelve-hour time difference between where I lived and where he lived. We used to talk at seven in the morning and seven at night. We took turns contacting each other, and to avoid confusion, each of us would call when it was morning in our time zone.

Morning calls were harder for me because I was going to college when we first met and then working once I'd graduated, and I could never talk too long as I was getting ready to go out for the day. Yuri's morning calls were better since he worked from home and could still get things done while chatting with me. Plus, it was evening for me then, so I had plenty of time.

Time isn't as much of an issue for us now, since neither of us are working. I resigned from my position at the fitness center in Kiyomatsu, and of course you already know Yuri is on medical leave until at least September. We still begin our video calls at seven o'clock, though. It's nice to have that consistency.

Something we've started doing in this new version of our long-distance relationship is eating together. I’ll usually have an evening snack while he has his breakfast, and sometimes he nibbles on a little something while watching me have mine.

Anyone viewing this might get the impression that we’ve become totally obsessed with food and eating over the last few months. That might be kinda true. but you gotta realize that for Yuri’s therapy to be effective, we always have to be mindful and use a lot of positive reinforcement around eating. So yeah, maybe we do talk about it a lot and maybe I do make a big deal of it even if he eats one small bite of solid food, but one bite without fear or stress is way better than being too anxious to eat at all, and I’d prefer to keep the forward momentum going.

When I first got here, Yuri was still having almost exclusively formula feeds at breakfast time. Then, one day last week when he called me, he appeared on screen with some sort of juice at the corner of his mouth, and when I asked him if he'd been eating, he proudly showed me the tiny bowl of pitted cherries he was snacking on.

"I like these," he said. "I ate seven of them so far."

A quick count revealed three left in the bowl, which he finished during our conversation. Ten cherries may not seem like a lot, but for Yuri, it's huge.

"Have you eaten anything else for breakfast?" I asked.

"Rice crackers with apricot jam, and Yuki let me try her cereal," he said, and then hastened to add. "I used my own spoon."

"You're doing great," I praised him. "Do you even know how proud I am of you right now?"

"Thank you."

"Are you having your formula too?" I asked.

He slid his chair back and lifted up the hem of his shirt so I could see the tube snaking out from under it. "I need the protein. But, guess what?"

"What?"

"I didn't have formula at lunch or dinner yesterday. I ate everything on my own. Oh, and I tried sparkling water."

"Did you like it?"

He wrinkled his nose cutely. "No."

"Better stick with regular water, then."

He nodded. "Mama's making salmon onigiri today. I'm going to try to eat a whole one."

"You like those," I recalled. "You've eaten a whole one before, so I know you can do it."

"Hopefully I've got room for it after my milkshake," he said.

I'll confess I was rendered momentarily speechless by that. I stared hard at the screen, wondering if I'd heard him correctly. "Your... milkshake?" I stammered after a second or two. "As in, actual milk and stuff? But, aren't you—

"Lactose intolerant?" Yuri said. "I'm not, actually."

"What?" I blurted.

"Trust me, I was shocked too."

"But, how...?"

"Remember, Dr. Kasongo scheduled me for all those food tolerance tests? You know, to see if I'm allergic to anything, or to see if I have low tolerance for gluten or sugar or... whatever?"

"Yeah," I said. "Mostly, I remember being stressed out because she scheduled it for after I left, and I couldn't go with you."

"I would've liked for you to be with me, but it was okay," he said. "Papa came with me, and it wasn't as scary as I imagined. We got the results yesterday."

"And you're really not lactose intolerant?"

"I'm really not. My nutritionist thinks it may have been a psychological intolerance more than a physical one."

"Meaning what, exactly? Like, dairy products made you feel sick because you convinced yourself they would?"

"Something like that," he said. "Mama says she thinks it might've been partially her fault. She says she tried to get me to drink milk and eat cheese when I was little, but it always gave me an upset stomach, so she eventually stopped trying. I guess we all just assumed I was lactose intolerant after that. Then, any time I had anything with milk in it, it was more my anxiety that was making me feel sick than my body's actual response to it."

"Huh," I said. "So... milkshakes?"

"Strawberry milkshakes. They're delicious and they're packed with calories." He beamed, clearly pleased with himself. "After my appointment yesterday afternoon, we all went out for American food.”

“That’s where you had the milkshake, I guess?”

“Mm-hmm. Mama and I shared a salad, but I tried one of Yuki’s French fries. Papa and Yuki both got milkshakes with their meal, and Yuki talked me into tasting that as well since we found out it wouldn't hurt me."

"And you were okay?"

"I was a little nervous afterwards and I thought I might be sick, but I kept telling myself not to panic. When I settled down, my stomach settled down too."

That was major progress. The old Yuri likely would’ve panicked, and he would’ve been throwing up and miserable for the rest of the day. Of course, he still might have had pain and an upset stomach regardless of what he ate or drank, but it made me wonder what percentage of his problems in the past were due to real digestive issues related to his illness and what percentage were caused by his severe anxiety around food.

He keeps telling me that he doesn’t like his psychologist and that he doesn’t think their sessions are doing any good, but I’m convinced somebody in that equation must be doing something right. Three months ago, Yuri wouldn’t have gotten within ten meters of American food, much less tried fries or a milkshake. Just the smell of deep-fried food would’ve been enough to make him nauseous back then.

Honestly, I don’t think he even realizes how far he’s come since he first started his nutrition rehab back in March.

"That's awesome," I said. "You’re doing amazing. And you’re having another go at milkshakes today?”

He nodded. "Papa bought strawberry ice cream. Did you know he knows how to make milkshakes at home?"

"I didn't know he knew how, but it's pretty easy anyway. Not much different than making a smoothie."

"Oh. So does that mean I could have extra strawberries in my strawberry milkshake? Or some other fruit?"

I laughed. "If you wanted to."

"When Papa comes home for lunch, I have to tell him." He looked excited. "This could be an adventure."

"Let me know how it goes."

He grinned at me. "I will."

I have no words to describe how happy it made me to see Yuri like that, and for the first time in a while, I let myself believe we were approaching something like a normal existence.

If he keeps going this way, he might be off his feeding tube entirely by the end of the summer. Then, we'll be able to come back here together and settle into the life we're both dreaming of.

I'm not naïve enough to think it'll be all smooth sailing after this, but I'm optimistic enough to believe we’re finally going to make it through the worst of the proverbial storm.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Hello! I have been enjoying the content here, so thank you for it! Recently I feel so drained. Exhausted. Mentally and physically. My head, eyes,ears hurt. And my thoughts are messy. Any specific tips on how to relax both mentally and physically ?

Thank you a lot for your words and for being around! Let me just remind you and everyone else that I am not a professional figure, and anything you find on here is either from my own experience/reflections and online resources (phsychologists/therapists and such).

Now, to answer you. Exhaustion is a common feeling these days, as far as I have noticed: heat itself (if applies) may cause exhaustion and headaches, as our bodies consume more energies to keep up with it. Exhaustion also usually brings in the need to sleep more to recover, and your thoughts may indeed feel scattered cause of this tiredness: you cannot focus on anything, at least not for long. You may even get easily nervous.

A pretty long period of deep anxiety/stress caused by any reason/s may give you these symptoms, all of which may sum up into something called "mental exhaustion": your mind, after that huge period of stress and demanding activities (maybe school ended? Or a more stressing job/life situation, for example, but also healing itself), is telling you by sending signals through your whole body that is time to rest, and this is why your thoughts may seem more confused than the usual and you feel so tired and have all these pains.

To be fair, these symptoms could even relate to other causes, from blood pressure to cervical pain caused by a specific position, for example. I would recommend, if you think you may need, to have a check with your doctor or have blood analysis before referring to any specialist (maybe even a nutritionist), just in case this fatigue may originate from the lack of any vitamin or other molecule in your body. I, for example, have low level of iron which causes me low blood pressure and exhaustion/headaches especially in summer, and I need to integrate it in my routine.

Anyway, as you are realizing the causes of your problems (if you need, but I had to mention cause again I'm in no way a professional figure in any field involved here), you can try to give your mind and body breaks.

Mentally, you can do anything that helps you relax and recover from that stress: from taking a walk, to meditating, drawing or painting, cooking, doing yoga movements (some are very helpful, there are videos by yoga instructors on youtube + I had posted my routine as well somewhere)... TBH my brother recharges by going out with friends while it just would drain me to no end: we're all different so I cannot suggest you anything specific. Just find out what works for you, follow your guts: if one day you need to draw, just draw; if another day you want to sleep, just sleep. Listen to yourself. There are also guided meditations to relax yourself on youtube if you want to try them: maybe focusing on doing something specific while laying down, can be of help both not thinking about anything stressful that may happen to you and could help you even sleep better. I might also try and post at least the text of a meditation I used to follow in the past (not sure if I can post it anywhere as an audio, I'll see).

I personally would recommend slowing down your life in general: evaluate priorities and urgencies and focus on these while postponing all that you can (unless it will make you torment yourself over what you need to do next: while you recover/relax, you need to commit to recovering/relaxing, and thinking about what you need to do next is not helping you recovering nor relaxing); also sleep as much as you can/feel/need to. Do not feel guilty about it, you're only saving energies and trying to get back more after having given away so many. Be as present as you can: worrying about past or future stuff won't help you relax, just stay in touch with yourself and listen to yourself.

Hope this helps!

[simphasocs]

Silence - Lore

TW: Thoughts of su*cide, depression, negative thoughts

So, I randomly decided to write something as I have a breakdown. I dont know, this is pretty messy and just... eh. I needed to let out some feelings so there. I honestly dont know if i wanna change Lore's UM but I might someday or something. The people here are supposed to be Rook and Azul but right now Im too tired to wrjte them in detajl. I dont know why i did this in first person either since I havent written a first person persctive in a long long while. My lack of sleep and breakdown explains the messy,.everytbinf. i really dont know what the hell i wrote but i wrote something, so yeah

I thought I was fine. Sure I was wrong to think that I can handle this by myself. I'm on my third year, I'm not foreign to the concept of asking help. I've done that before. In little things such as studying so I can understand the lessons better.

So why is it that I feel so terrified to ask my friends for help?

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe!

I can't—

I could hear a faint knocking on my door. I don't think I can face anyone right now, I can't.

As I hug myself tight, the headache never fading as I feel my vision swirl. If I were to collapse here and not wake up for a while... would anyone notice? Surely someone would, they're my friends after all. And yet, I still feel uncertain. What if they don't notice? What if no one does?

Again, the knocking continues except this time much louder. I hear a few voices but they sound so muffled to my ears that I don't know who it is. I don't think I want to know either.

I want to cry and scream but if I do then they'll hear me.

I'm so tired.

I just want this to be over with. I want everything to be over with.

There was a faint clicking sound from the door— no!

I can't let them see me like this! I can't let anyone know. If they know then what if they see me as a burden? What if they see me as pathetic? What if they hate me?

And with that, despite being exhausted in every sense of the word—I used what's left of my energy to use my unique magic. "Dream Well", so that everyone outside of my room can't get in. I know after a while they'll just get in but at least... at least I held them off for much longer.

Grasping my chest for air, I felt my pen. My shaking fingers carefully removed the pen as I examine it; black, it's covered in black...?

I don't... I didn't think I used my magic all that much...

I feel so lonely. I don't want to exist anymore. I want to talk to them but I'm scared, I'm terrified. I want to pretend I never existed. I want to be comforted. I want to feel safe. I don't want to be a bother. I want to fade away.

The thoughts are getting louder... I know I shouldn't listen, I already went through this. I shouldn't listen. I shouldn't listen.

And yet I do. Even as the thoughts are nothing but doubts and lies that hold no truth, I listen.

The thoughts that tell me that they—everyone— won't care if I stop existing. The thought that I'm nothing but a bother to everyone around me. The thought that I shouldn't have interacted with anyone so that they wouldn't be dragged into my mess. The thought that I should've left them when it was still early, that way I wouldn't be wasting anyone's time.

I feel something wet on my face, the moment I touch my face, I was pulled back to reality. When did I start crying...? My fingers are shaking too...

I guess I was hyperventilating the whole time...

The more I feel myself come back to reality, the more I notice things. Like how my vision is foggy. Or how the dulling pain in my head never left, same with the dizziness.

I've been stuck to my thoughts this whole time that I never heard myself speak, I don't think I even remember how I sound like. My whole body feels so numb and weak. Do I just give in...? Do I just let the fatigue get to me...?

I feel like I'm close to fainting, it's a good thing I'm on the bed. I won't bother anyone. I won't be anymore. I'll just stay here for a long long while...

I must've forgotten about the people at the door since I heard a the click of the doorknob, someone's probably gotten inside. I don't have the energy to check anymore...

I think I heard someone say something to me but I can't make out what they said. Everything sounds so muffled. My vision is slowly being covered in black and all I saw are yellow and white till—

I woke up a day affter that. I knew because they told me. I don't know why they're here by my side. I also don't know why I opened up to them. I still want to run away and pretend I never existed nor mattered but right now... I'm fine existing...

They made me feel like my existence isn't a burden. I don't really understand how nor why... but I tried to trust them and their words. For now I'll accept the help they're offering.

I'm scared still. I don't want to involve them in my messy private life any further than this. I really don't want to, I'm fine choosing to hide my presence and my existence than to trust people. I really don't want to be a bother. But... for now I'll allow myself to be. I'll ignore the thoughts telling me how much I'm wasting their time and efforts. How I'm a waste of space. How I don't deserve the help they're giving me, the comfort and kindness.

The thoughts get louder each moment but I ignore it. For now I'll endure it, for now I'll ignore it. For now I'll accept their presence by my side. I may not tell them the thoughts in my head for now or any time soon but I can allow them to see my physical weakness. The effects of thoughts. For now I'll be fine.

[bloodpointpen]

I will show you, just tell me: how much time do you have, how deep can we go, how far can we go along the corridor lit only by the hazy light of evacuation signs?

time is not linear, I only heard today what you said two weeks ago, I'm terrified of the meeting next Tuesday, and my wound from four years ago still hurts, I don't usually walk straight, but I'll try for you, be careful not to get lost.

you can leave at any time, I won't pull you, I know it's hard for you, but just remember that I live here.

let's set the starting point somewhere, roll the dice, it doesn't matter to me, we will always end up in the same place, we will just take a different route, are there things you don't want to see in a dark corridor lit only by green light of signs? I will warn you about the danger, but I will walk right into it, I'm sorry, this is the deal, this is my verdict, this is my diagnosis

1.it's calm and quiet here, there's an armchair here, it's dirty green but soft, don't sit down, you're not tired yet, if you sit down, the room will become feverish, the temperature will rise, you'll drown, don't sit down, trust me

2.what do you mean: we didn't go anywhere? you don't understand, you don't understand, please understand, it's a dark, gray corridor lit with dull light, it will hug you tightly so that you will never breathe fully again, it will tempt you with an easy way out, you can leave at any time, but you will never breathe again

4.is 4 more than 3? I don't know, I don't know, I told you that nothing is going right here, I'm sorry, this door is closed, nobody needs us here

3.a room, a nice room, do you like the children's room lit with the greenish glow of the laptop, do you feel cozy here? be careful, don't trip over the cable, don't ask what the cable is for, do you think it can conduct electricity in the other direction, or can it take energy from something that is alive?

5.this section of the route is quite long, we will take a tram, it is a bit scary at night, but now the light is blue and not green, isn't it a nice change? you are safe here, if you are the threat, be careful, don't draw too much attention to yourself, you don't want them to notice you

6.this is where we are now, this huge intersection, a roundabout, the fifth dimension, the center of lack of control, I'm sorry for the noise, look at the camera shots, do you see all the places we visited today, don't they give you a headache? click, come back to the surface, live, smile nicely, I know it's difficult for you, but remember that I live here

Where does your mind go late at night?

[justwatchmyeyes]

I wake up every day feeling like there's a weight on my chest. A heaviness that I can't shake off, no matter how hard I try. I go through the motions of my day, trying to ignore the sadness that lingers just beneath the surface. But it's always there, waiting to pull me down. It's hard to explain what depression feels like. It's like a dark cloud that follows me around, casting a shadow over everything I do. It's like a voice in my head that tells me I'm not good enough, that I'll never be happy, that I should just give up. And it's hard to fight that voice, especially when it feels like it's the only one I can hear. I try to talk to people about it, but it's hard to find the words. How do you explain something that feels so big and overwhelming? How do you ask for help when you feel like you're the problem? I don't want to burden anyone with my problems, but sometimes it feels like I'm drowning and I need someone to throw me a lifeline. It's not just the sadness, either. It's the lack of energy, the difficulty in concentrating, the loss of interest in things I used to love. It's the feeling of being disconnected from the world around me, like I'm watching everything from behind a pane of glass. It's the physical pain that comes with it, the aches and headaches and stomach problems that seem to have no cause. I know that depression is a common problem, that I'm not the only one who feels this way. But sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who can't shake it off. Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck in this dark place forever. But I'm trying. I'm trying to reach out to people, to talk about how I feel, to find things that make me happy. I'm trying to take care of myself, to eat well and exercise and get enough sleep. I'm trying to be patient with myself, to remember that recovery takes time and that it's okay to take it one day at a time. I don't know if I'll ever be completely free of depression. But I'm hopeful that things will get better. That one day, the weight on my chest will lift and I'll be able to breathe again. That one day, I'll be able to see the world without the dark cloud blocking my view. And until then, I'll keep trying.

[thedreamlessnights]

Bad Influence

Viktor x gn!Reader || SFW

Summary: A very quick drabble where you get sick and Viktor takes care of you.

Word Count: 0.6k

It starts with a pounding in your head.

You’re in the lab, working on something with Viktor - and it’s not going well. Your eyes hurt from looking over the notes over and over, trying to find something that you missed, and slowly, your head begins to ache. At first, you try to ignore it. You’ve handled your fair share of migraines, and this is nothing new.

Except that it’s not the usual headache - it’s thick, a band around your head as if someone is gripping your skull and won’t let up. Even after medication, it’s only seeming to spread, your joints throbbing.

Then the room begins to spin, and you’re trying to hold down the lunch you had earlier. It’s only when you feel a cool hand on your forehead that you notice Viktor has approached, the chill of his fingers against your skull balming the heat ever so slightly.

“You have a fever,” he says. “We’d better get you home.”

You’re too sick to argue.

By the time the two of you get home, the only energy you can muster is to collapse into bed and draw the blankets around you, now shivering. Hadn’t things just been too hot to endure? Now you’re soaked in sweat, chilled to the bone.

In a lovely turn of events, your throat hurts now, too. It was only a matter of time, really - before all your late nights in the lab caught up with you, and your body couldn’t take anymore. The hours you’d tried to steal had only been borrowed time.

You’ve seen this with Viktor. You’ve spent nights nursing him back to health. Now it seems, it’s his turn to do the same to you.

It’s not long before he’s stripped you of your sweat-ridden clothes, dressed you in something clean, and has you settled down with a cool cloth on your head. In between the moments where he’s wiping your forehead and murmuring comfort, he’s stroking your hair.

When you come to among your moments of delirium, you notice that he’s wrapped you in a blanket. Every hour or so, he takes your temperature, and occasionally, he’ll give you a pill to swallow. There’s a time where he feeds you soup, coaxing it into you despite your lack of appetite.

Time slips away. You’ve no idea how long you stay there, but eventually, your fever must break. You wake, your mouth dry, parched - when you try to speak, it comes out as a weak croak.

Viktor stirs from the chair next to you, shushing you as he holds a glass of water to your lips.

“You need to be easier on yourself,” he tells you, his hand going back to combing your hair away from your face. It feels so good that all you can do is close your eyes for a moment, enjoying the sensation, before opening your eyes to look at him again.

“You do realize who is talking to me?” you ask, unable to stop the smile that spreads over your face.

He huffs, shaking his head, but you catch the smile that flashes over his lips. “I may be a bad example,” he concedes. “Perhaps we both can work on it?”

“That sounds like a good idea." You pause for a moment, then smile up at him. "Thank you, by the way."

"Of course," he says softly, fluffing up the pillow on the sides of your head. "I don't forget the times you've done the same for me." Gently, he leans in and places a kiss on your head. "Try to get some more sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

When you dream, you're floating in a lake - nothing in the world but peace, and Viktor's hand holding yours.

[seulgiology]

nobody better | lee jeno

pairings: college student!jeno x college student!y/n

words: 3322

genre: fluff, slight angst

synopsis: jeno's always there for you, and you never even ask him; it's just his nature. especially since he's hopelessly in love with you

warnings: cursing, drinking, slight innuendos but nothing crazy

a/n: yer, admin 1 here :P i been feeling real fluffy lately. here's the first post of the year :D. nothing else to say, please enjoy this, and feedback is accepted ofc

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, idols, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. thank you and enjoy :)

-

You couldn't ask for anybody better. He had to know he was better too, inside and out.

The way he slid you your favorite hot tea, lemon zinger with honey to be specific, whenever it was a late-night and your eyes hurt from staring at your laptop, it made your heart ache from those sweet gestures. He'd press his lips to your temple and whisper little phrases of encouragement. He didn't even know the tight hold he had on your heart- and damn did it hurt so good when did things like that.

"You got this y/n, it's only a couple more pages left." Of course, you didn't want to finish your research paper for your philosophy class. You were burnt out from bulky projects and trying to stay attentive in other classes. Jeno could see it, couldn’t miss it.

Sometimes he'd be in your dorm in the early morning, already prepared himself at his own apartment (lucky bastard). He looked as attractive as ever in that simply loose long sleeve white shirt that vaguely outlined his toned arms and abdomen. You preferred his presence more since you were desolate and your roommate practically lived in her boyfriend's single room. Once again, those lucky bastards.

Nowadays, he'd see your slightly sunken skin under your eyes, a deeper shade than typical. Your sclera was tinted red from the lack of sleep you were getting, and sometimes he swore you were consuming cannabis. Your body tended to slow, trudging back in your room after he hugged you a warm good morning. You genuinely lacked energy and you swore you were seeing colors at this point, the hues seemed to either be dialing up and down, scaring you when by yourself.

Yeah, your headaches were nothing to play around with either. It made it difficult to want to get up in the morning when you knew pain and discomfort were later to follow. However, it felt worse to lay there in pain knowing something could’ve been done.

So back in your little desk space in your dorm room, when you were slowly sliding off your hand because you were falling asleep reading over the last page you wrote, he hoped the sweet aroma of the tea woke your senses. You just hummed in response to his words, your heart swelling a little more with love for him when you felt him slide one of his hands in yours, interlocking your fingers and squeezing it for extra reassurance.

You loved him so damn much.

"I'll buy you those chocolate-covered strawberries from that shop down on Jonesview Ave if you turn it in on time," is what his final words were as he walked away that made you get a B+ on that paper, to say the least.

And when he came knocking on your door later that week at around 10 p.m. because he knew you just came from your "mandatory" boba break on Thursdays, you were pleasantly surprised to see two sheet masks in his hands and a cheeky smile on his face.

"If you think this is an attack it is. I already know you haven't been following your nightly routine," is what he'd say before you could question him. Now don't get him wrong (ever), you still had the face of a girl he couldn't help but stare at, but he didn't want you obsessing over the acne that was going to make a not-so-subtle entrance on your face if you gave up now.

"So," you drawled out softly as you tried not to smile in fulfillment from his tender hands smoothing out the cold and wet sheet on your face. Your legs were a little frigid from the shorts you wore as you sat on the toilet seat, him hovering close in front of you. He tapped your cheek to remind you that facial movement would ruin the placement of the mask. He already finished his, and it was an amusing sight to see his hair in a sprout-like ponytail with your orange scrunchie to keep it together.

"How long do we keep this on?" You questioned cautiously. His face blanked as he tried to remember, but he naively threw the packages away without reading the directions first.

"Uh- that’s a great question, but did you know that this mask actually is supposed to help with hydrating the skin?" He sputtered out to cover his lack of incentive to answer, knowing how to distract you. You had a thing for product benefits and you fell for it every time. So he went on a tangent about the masks potato extract and what the hyaluronic acid would provide for your pores and blemishes.

He was honestly bullshitting and going off of what one of his latest friends, Sungchan, would say. You would enjoy his company.

You couldn't see his eyes become crescent moons when you poached him for more information and he answered with just as much interest. Jeno sat on the bathroom mat in front of the shower and looked up at you with his undivided attention as you waved your hands and widened your eyes in animation. White sheet mask and all. You beamed under that small bathroom dingy fluorescent lights that night.

It was a feeling he didn't know how to describe, let alone acknowledge. A feeling that made him a little dizzy just being in your vicinity. It washed over as if it ran through his nervous system, and he welcomed it every single time.

He loved you so fucking much.

"Shh, stop fussing, Lee. I'm just fixing his mess you call a bedroom," You interrupted his complaining. It truly was a very hypocritical statement from you, considering your room looked like it had its own demons to deal with. He insisted you come over, your place was very depressing and a change of environment might help you get out of your slump to see your active personality again.

It was the perfect size apartment, and the furnishing complimented him well- masculine, mature, and stylish.

You crawled in his memory foamed bed after straightening his space out and instantly regretted laying down on the cloud-like duvet. You needed to sleep, but how could you. There was work that always needed to be done and how were you going to even start them?

The bed dipped beside you, and nothing could wipe that worrying look of the inner turmoil of your pretty features. He had two steaming mugs in hand, whipped cream perfectly swirled. But you looked up at him, a sudden rush of panic beginning to settle in. Something wasn't right when your chest began hurting from your heart pounding and your mouth went dry.

"Hey, you know what, I think I need to head back now that I think about it, there's tons of stuff I need to catch up on," You hurried your speech since your voice was becoming thick with emotion, stumbling over some words. He could read you like a book and knew the last thing you needed was to be alone. He was quick and careful in setting the mugs on the nightstand, brows furrowed as he did his best in comfortably pulling you against him, your body physically quivering now.

"You don't need to leave, y/n," his usual silvery yet husky voice was traded out for a more urging and softer one. His back was leaning against the headboard as he held you safely in between his legs, your form curled against him, seeking security and comfort. You hiccuped into the crook of his neck, holding back tears you simply can't let him see. That stupid lump in your throat was making it hard to breathe properly.

And he let you cry. He let your tears saturate his shirt when you reached to wrap your arms around his neck to seek more of his warmth. It was not a pleasant surprise to see you lose the last bit of control you were maintaining this entire week come crumbling down with the unconditional amount of kindness and care he was showing you.

It was just so, so hard. Being a responsible young adult, while also trying to live life to the fullest. Trying to turn your assignments in on time and have them be of acceptable quality. Worrying about the future, trying to stay level in the fast pace of it all. Needless to say, you were overwhelmed. Nights of avoiding and putting off things till later, or cramming every assignment possible into one sitting.

At times like this where you realized you did have someone in your corner; always there to cheer you on, to show you in every way they can the love that they have for you. You appreciated the fact that he didn't question you as you shuddered against him, the untrollable faucet you called your eyes kept pouring and pouring.

He never loosened his hold around your waist, his other hand holding your nape. He whispered such sweet things to you, encouraging you to feel what you were in the moment. He was so good to you. It felt like an eternity being this close, this intimate.

"I'm sorry," you croaked out after your sobbing subsided. He held you tighter against him and whispered that there was nothing you should ever be sorry about, especially when it came to him. God, you felt bad now. You felt undeserving of it all. But he kept coming back to you, checking on you, making sure you were still eating and taking care of yourself. He pulled you back, making sure you looked him in the eyes

"Listen to me okay, you shouldn't be stressing about these kinds of things. Professor Janes hasn't even graded the papers from the midterm yet, she's definitely not worried about next week's assignment being handed in." Jeno joked, his thumb caressing your cheek and tone light-hearted and mellow. It worked in getting you to scoff and tighten the nervous grip on the hem of his shirt.

"I'm serious, think about it- you're burying yourself into getting ahead of someone who isn't even trying to keep up." He stressed, and it did make sense. Your face dropped when you realized he was right. You were purposely burning yourself out and for what? To compete? Personal gain?

It was in that moment, your watery eyes gazed into inquisitive ones; that puppy dog look never gets old. You came to the conclusion; there was nobody like him. Call it whatever you want, but there was not a single man you'd let hold you at your lowest, tell you truths you were denying in your head, and be so amorous with overall.

And you looked at him, really did. It was cute when he frowned at how quiet you were and looked around the room to avoid that weird look you were giving him. That overwhelming feeling in your chest, it ruptured and spread until it was the only emotion consuming you, panic be damned. His slightly calloused hand could feel how flushed your cheek was getting, but you weren't crying anymore.

"I tried figuring that out on my own, to be honest with you, but I didn't want to realize I was doing this to myself," you concluded and he hummed in response. So you laid back on his chest, closing your eyes and taking in the surrealness of the situation. His fingers lightly glided over your scalp, lulling you to a lax and languid state when the stars plagued behind your eyelids.

"I wish you wouldn't work yourself so hard," was the last thing you heard him murmur before you went to sleep in his hold. And he was filled with unbridled joy knowing you were getting some shut-eye while being by your side.

The t.v. was the first thing you heard when you woke, an R&B artist you didn't recognize singing over slow beats. Your vision was fuzzy when you looked at two miserable mugs in the dim room. It took a few more seconds to realize you were laying comfortably on Jeno's bed, but the owner was nowhere to be found. You stretched and yawned in the most unpleasant way possible when your clothes began itching you the wrong way.

Picking your phone off the nightstand, you scrolled through your notifications and finally found one from Taeyong, Mark, Ten, Haechan, and the samoyed impersonator about 15 minutes ago. What a coincidence, it only happens once in a blue moon.

leader of the lee's: please tell me you have measuring tape and the will to live

lee #4: went to get some food, you know where my clother are, there's a clean towel in the closet tho. and if you steal my blankets, im putting my cold feet on you :/

morkus lee: Hey, sorry to bother you but it's very urgent. So like is it true that my forehead is like big cause hyuck said that he can play tic tac toe on it and ma ybe he's lying but like I tried and now I have...

lee #5: if you respond to markus i'll tell jeno you used to write smutty fanfic about Zayn Malik

lee #10: i ran out of white gouache, so i'm stealing yours, thx love u :3

You snorted to yourself and replied to everyone accordingly, Mark not included. You liked Jeno's message to signal you read and understood. He should be back any second so you got to work on draping his tee over your head and tying the drawstring around your waist from his larger pajama pants.

It smelled like his pleasant scent and it instantly felt like home. You washed your face with his products (they were the same as yours since you recommended them to him) and patted your skin dry.

In the midst of cocooning yourself on the large bed, Two Broke Girls playing on the screen, Jeno, sauntered in with a tied bag that smelled of fried chicken and fries. He apologized for taking so long, he somehow got lost on his way back.

It clinked with the familiar sound and the green hue of Soju bottles pressing against the transparent bag. Ah, your eyes glittered upon the liquor and good food just mere inches away.

"I know it's Sunday at," he proceeded to look at the time before continuing, "7:03 p.m., but you need this. So don't throw up on my floors." He's too good because you were a talking machine with a potty mouth when drunk.

You both sat on the floor with your backs against the side of the bed, the boxes of food empty, about 4 small-sized empty bottles split between the two of you (you drank a little too much) and the conversations shared were random and full of life.

Then, you were yapping his ear off about color theory and how it's a bunch of bullshit at around 9 at night.

"What's even the point? People love whatever shitty color combinations they can pull out of their ass anyways, so what's the goddamn point?" You shouted as your companion giggled at your incredulity, honestly not comprehending a word you were saying.

"Oh wait you have something on your face," he slurred his words, his dark grey hair moving along with his head as it tilted. He scooted closer and reached a shaky hand up to your lips. It was hot in the space, yet chills ran down to your fingertips. He licked his own lips looking at yours and peeked through his lashes into your widened stare. A hard thump, thump, thump, resounded in your ear as your heart couldn't keep up with the trepidation. Your body was attracted to his as you leaned forward, and it quite literally felt as though time slowed with every moment he was getting closer.

You yelped in surprise when he flicked your cheek instead.

"You piece of shit, why'd you do that? I thought you were going to kiss me or something! Stop laughing! What if I did that to you, huh? You'd be sitting there blue balls and all." He was rolled over wholeheartedly laughing at you, stuttering over his words trying to respond. He contained himself but almost lost it again after seeing your childish form frowning at him with the ugliest face you could muster.

A teasing grin took over his face when he motioned for you to come closer. With the alcohol in your system, you didn't have the incentive to hesitate to move in front of him place your palms on his muscular thighs to lean over in his flushed face, your knees planted on the floor. He was delighted to feel you shiver when he moved closer to your ear, hot breath fanning your neck.

"I wouldn't want our first kiss to happen when you wouldn't even remember it y/n." The sultry sweet voice made you feel a little more than love, it was something lustier. You clumsily leaned back from him, wheezing out a breath from the way his lips were barely parted and eyes were hooded. What did he just say?

But he was right too. He wasn't as intolerant as you when it came to alcohol, so his senses were there more than yours were absent. Just a little bolder than his typical observant self. And of course, you end up blacking out some time after.

You awoke once again, this time at 1:25 a.m. exactly upon looking at the laminating analog clock, the same two mugs on the nightstand.

We should really dump those out now.

When should I text Jiwoo about the presentation?

You couldn't but think about your assignments again now that it was technically Monday, a feeling kin to fear beginning to settle.

Your head didn't hurt (thank fucking god) but you were laying on top of a firm body. You wondered how you both ended up in the bed anyways. You instantly began feeling around to make sure that-

"We didn't do anything, don't worry," His raspy voice startled you into sitting up slightly. He was laying on his back, arm draped behind his head, the other around your shoulders shifted to your mid-back upon you sitting up. He was changed into clothes suitable for sleep, you obviously having no recollection of him doing that.

It wouldn't be a lie if you didn't think it was odd that you two always ended up staring at each other in a daze. A silent plead for permission neither of you could figure out. It was comical and so cliche; two people navigating college life very differently end up falling for each other without being able to grasp it completely. Jeno was flawless in the eyes of the beholder, and he always would be.

A lazy, "Okay," was your response, a neutral and calm mood taking over the atmosphere in its heed. You settled back into him and let the aroma of his moisturizer waft through your nostrils.

He loved being close to you, loved giving his love to you even more. Absentmindedly tracing stars, hearts, and even your name on your back with the tips of his fingers, it was enough. Hearts beating shamelessly against each other, he breathed out in content- this is where he could be forever.

You didn't fight your heavy lids drooped once more and you welcomed the sleep, welcomed it all. He pulled the blankets over your bodies and shifted so you were both on your side. And he allowed you to subconsciously tangle your legs with his, a sigh of gratification from it.

Neither of you would figure out what didn't separate you for the rest of the night. One would guess it was the uncanny want and need for each other. It wasn't awkward nor suffocating. Souls moved in sync with each other, matching the others for a lifetime.

It was pure, unrefined love.

[akashicsystem]

So Cyno had indeed weaseled out of this one. Clever man. Alhaitham sighed softly and shuffled some papers on his desk, scanning the alchemist in front of him, quite literally so.

He's warm, but less like a human and more like a battery. No strong signs of ley line energy. Geo elemental energy, coming from their Vision, but a lack of warmth and numbers he was used to seeing. There is something he is picking up, and it gives the part of him he shoves down a headache. He wants to pull him apart until he can see what Albedo runs on- no, no. He doesn't want to do that. They're here for paper reviews. He wasn't as skilled in elemental science to comfortably review these projects, so Alhaitham had reached out to Cyno. Upon hearing of such a workload, Cyno had practically contracted it out to the alchemist before him. Surely this had nothing to do with the Genius Invokation release in Fontaine the week of project reviews.

“Acting Grand Sage, yes. Lord Kusanali refuses to let me quit just yet.” Alhaitham rolls his eyes, shaking the alchemist’s hand and sitting back down. “You have sufficient elemental and alchemical knowledge to review these projects with me, assuming Mondstat is capable of teaching their citizens. That is why we are here today. What I require from you is a critique of each project, its implementation, and a discussion with me on whether or not such a project is a good idea for the health and well-being of Sumeru and the Akademiya. Does that answer any questions you have?”

He was relieved Albedo seemed to be introverted, much like himself. Glimpsing at the first paper on his stack, he sees the words forbidden knowledge jump out at him. Kusanali save him.

He rubbed his temples with his fingers and tried to recalibrate his brain. Already he felt a headache coming on, and he didn't want to waste valuable time going to Kaveh and asking him to check his tension springs again. The less suspicious he looked, the shorter this would take.

“The closest food stall is a short walk from here, should you get hungry. I'll show you when the time arises.” He made an effort to accommodate for the human pitfalls everyone else around him seemed to have- but something about the way Albedo looked at him made him doubt they would be needed.

@sevrdfate

sumeru was unbearably hot and humid, nothing like dragonspine. of course, they expected this, they were familiar enough with teyvat & its various climates that they knew what to expect. of course, what they came to expect had no reflection that their body was now, for better or worse, not used to traveling in such conditions. their master would have no patience for this, so despite themself - and without appropriately stopping for water - they continued to sumeru city.

their gloves tucked into their bag, a book in hand ( faintly, anyone looking could see various specimens the knight had found pressed between the pages ) and a top that, a letter. their steps are quick, quiet, graceful -- and almost like a ghost as they navigate sumeru city and avoided bumping into people. the akademia's doors pushed open, icy blue eyes scanning the rows upon rows of books.

... they simply pat some of the dirt from traveling off their gloves and walk in. students were in abundance and yet none of them were who the alchemist was looking for. they watched in silence, every discussion among students and the papers that needed to be written. they could help, the thought briefly passes their mind. of course, could and will are completely different words with different definitions.

albedo turned shoulder, continuing until they found who they were looking for. tall, grey hair, dendro vision... their tongue clicked.

they approached, standing off to the side and placed the letter down on the desk. "the general mahamatra asked me to assist the acting grand sage," they smiled, but it was hard to decide if it was a smile of coy amusement or politeness. "my name is albedo, the chief alchemist of the knights of favonius i look forward to working with you." ... @akashicsystem

[nomsugayoongi]

Make up/Make Out!

Pairing: Jungkook X OC fem

Warnings: It's just smut. Pure smut. 🔞

A/N: Written and edited on a phone so please forgive any mistakes. Suggestions for more are very welcome and also thoughts. Let me know what you think.

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"Am I good to finish for the night?"

She'd been on her feet all day. As make up and hair assistant to one of the most popular groups on the planet, her job consisted of being ready at any moment, day or night, to get the guys of BTS camera ready. Today had been a particularly heavy day. Photoshoots and zoom interviews. You would have thought a global pandemic would have slowed her workload right down but apparently not. The boys were just as busy as ever, determined to remain a presence even when the world was falling apart.

"I'm not sure actually. I think one of the guys is maybe doing a live. Shouldn't take long, just a touch up. Let me go check." Another assistant hurried off, leaving her in what had been dubbed the "ready room" She sighed, sorting the array of make up products strewn on the counter into each boys respective make up bag. 7 individual colour palettes. 7 skin tones. 7 favoured brands. She'd been doing it long enough now that she didn't have to think anymore. Jimin's chapstick in one bag. Hobi's concealer in another. She was tired and frustrated. 16 months of a global lockdown meant she was now living in the guys home in the staff wing. Apart from video calls, she hadn't seen anyone and wasn't able to leave really. On the odd occasion when she did have to accompany the guys somewhere, she was subjected to regular covid tests. It was all just a little overwhelming. Like much of the planet, she was beginning to feel a little stir crazy.

The door opened and the assistant from earlier poked her head round. "Jungkook is doing a live. He's on his way down now. Can you handle it or do you want me to stay?" She could see the hopeful look in her colleagues eye that she could go for the night. Sighing inwardly, she nodded. "I'm good. Enjoy the rest of the night. I'll see you in the morning." She said, faking a smile. An immediate thankful grin was aimed in her direction before her co-worker quickly dissapeared. She sighed again, picking out Jungkooks bag and rifling though it. A V Live wasn't as intense as actual interviews. She'd maybe need to touch up his foundation and neaten his hair. With any luck she could be done in 10 minutes.

She was just about finished setting up when the door opened again. She turned with a welcoming smile but frowned a little as he walked in. His hair was wet, a towel still slung around his shoulders, face completely bare. "Have you just showered?" She muttered. He nodded, strolling over to his favourite chair and slumping in it. "Yeah. I wasn't going to bother with a live but it's been ages and I miss ARMY. Plus I feel kind of restless tonight." He explained. She nodded, a little frustrated that she'd have to entirely redo his face and hair. So much for 10 minutes. But it was her job after all. "So what are we doing?" She questioned, walking up behind him and leaning on the chair, a hand either side of his shoulders. He shrugged, looking at her through the mirror in front of him. "Whatever you want. Just make me look ok for the live." He replied. She chuckled slightly, studying him through the mirror. "You already look ok for the live. But I'll dry your hair. It's freezing in the office. Can't have you catching a cold." She smiled. He chuckled, pulling his phone out of the pocket of his baggy cargo pants and loading up a game. She smiled a little more. Typical Jungkook.

She got to work, removing the damp towel from around his shoulders, tossing it aside and reaching for the hairdryer. It didn't take long to dry. His hair was fine but he had a lot of it and luckily he didn't bleach it into the ground like some of his band mates so it was pretty healthy. Once dried, it was soft and shiny, falling prettily around his face. "Want it straightening?" She asked, digging her fingernails between the dark brown strands at the crown of his head and ruffling it slightly. His hair naturally had a slight wave to it. He had dropped his phone into his lap and his eyes were closed. He liked the slight scratch of her fingernails. It felt nice. "Hmm?" He muttered. "Oh..yeah. Straighten it." He opened his eyes with a sigh. "Are you alright?" She asked softly. "Yeah. Bit of a headache. The scratching was nice." He replied, a small smile playing around his lips. She chuckled, setting down the hairdryer and diving her fingers into his hair, raking her nails lightly across his scalp. Head massage wasn't exactly part of her job description but she had a soft spot for Jungkook. Her tummy filled with warmth as his head to lolled forward and he grumbled softly, eyes closing again. She couldn't help but smile, pressing her fingers to his temples and rubbing in slow circles. "Do you need painkillers?" She asked softly. He grumbled again but shook his head a little. "Nah. Already feels a bit better." He muttered. "Tension headache?" She questioned. "Probably." She diverted her rubbing to his hairline, digging her thumbs into the nape of his neck. His head rolled heavily against her hand, a relieved moan slipping past his parted lips. She watched him in the mirror, her stomach churning as she studied him. Reminding herself that she was working, she reluctantly dropped her hands, reaching for the straighteners. "So... we're straightning." She muttered. He cleared his throat, correcting his posture where he'd slumped down the chair. "Yeah." He nodded.

She ran the flat irons through his hair, alternating between looking at what she was doing and glancing at him through the mirror. "What are we doing with your face?" She questioned, applying a conditioning spray to his already silky soft hair, just so that the heat from the straighteners didn't make it frizzy. "Just make me look good." he said with a shrug. She grinned, picking up a clean powder brush, she spun him round to face her and booped the end of his nose with the brush. "Done" she smiled. He laughed, nose crinkling adorably. "You literally didn't do anything." She shrugged, placing the brush back on the counter. "You don't need anything doing." She said simply. He rolled his eyes, his ears turning pink. "I look like shit." He huffed. She was silent for a second, eyes flicking across his face. His hair was perfect, shiny and soft, skimming his large brown doe eyes. His nose was cute. His lips were full and though slightly chapped, kind of perfect too. Without foundation to soften his features, his jawline looked sharper. His skin was pretty good, the lack of make up making the cute moles dotted around his face clearer. The scar on his right cheek was more noticable but it gave his face character. "You really, really don't." She replied.

He shuffled shyly, fiddling with the phone abandoned on his lap. "I do. I look...plain. I can't go on camera like this." He muttered. She sighed, perching on the back of the sofa next to her. "Jungkook, you couldn't look plain if you tried. Trust me, if your ARMY see you like this they will lose their damn minds." She sighed, folding her arms across her chest. He glanced up at her, eyebrow hitching curiously. "See me like what?" He muttered. She shrugged, feeling somewhat uncomfortable at the things she didn't seem to be able to stop herself from saying. "Like...you. As you are. You've got that...thing...going on." She huffed. "What thing?" She rolled her eyes. "You know what thing. You give off heavy boyfriend energy. Especially when you look like this." She mumbled. He laughed, looking at her more intently. "Boyfriend energy?" She chuckled too, her face feeling hotter than she'd like. "Yeah. You know, that whole duality thing. It's cute. But it's sexy too." She babbled. "You think I'm sexy?" His eyebrows raised, his lips fighting a smile. "As your make up artist, I don't think anything." She chuckled. "And as you?" He questioned. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to look into his pretty eyes. "As me? I think you're one of the most confusing men I've ever met." She replied. His gaze was intense, forcing her to speak even though she wasn't actually sure she wanted to. "Confusing how?" He asked quietly.

She thought for a minute then shrugged. "Confusing in the way you play absolute havok with a woman and don't even seem to notice that you're doing it. You're such a contradiction. You're sweet and cute and warm. You're...soft and cuddly. The kind of guy who you want to snuggle and play with his hair as he sleeps. But you also have the ability to absolutely blow that out of the water and turn into this whole other creature. This...sinfully hot, dripping in sex appeal, gyrating menace. And you seem to be able to flip from one to the other and back in literally seconds. You're hormonal whiplash guy. One minute you wanna cuddle him, the next you wanna fuck him senseless, then back to cuddling. Confusing. But either way, whether you're cuddle guy or sexy guy, you're compeltely disarming. Captivating even." She paused, blushing at the heated expression on his perfect face. "So...you don't have to worry about what ARMY think. However you rock up, you're good." She finished with an awkward shrug. "Anyway, if you want me to do your face properly for the camera I will." She said, standing up off the back of the sofa and heading for her make up brushes.

"Woah. Hang on a minute. You can't just say all that and then pretend you didn't. Are you attracted to me?" He asked, smirking slightly, sexy guy definitely rearing his head. She tried her damnedest not to look at him. "Umm...you're attractive, yeah." She shrugged. "That's not what I asked." He hummed. "We've been in lockdown for 16 months. Everyone's attractive right now." She joked, trying to divert the gaze currently burning a hole through her professionalism. "You keep dodging the question." He pushed. She sighed, dropping the beauty blender she was currently picking apart and turning to him. "Yeah, I'm attracted to you. A large portion of the globe is attracted to you." She shrugged. "Yeah but I wasn't asking the globe. I asked you." He replied. "Well I answered. So are we doing your make up or no? It's late." She sighed, flustered. The way he was looking at her made her squirm. Curiously, but with something darker going on behind those doe eyes. "I don't know if I'm attracted to you. I've never thought about it." He muttered. She swallowed hard, looking everywhere but at him. "I didn't ask." She shrugged. "Yeah but after what you said, I can't just ignore it." He sat back in the chair, studying her. Her stomach twisted nervously. "You're cute. Short. I like that. You have nice hair. And your eyes are really pretty." He said absently, as though not actually talk to her, just assessing. She shuffled uncomfortably, her cheeks burning. "I like you. I'm just...not good at this sort of thing. I started training for BTS when I was 15. It didn't leave me a whole lot of time or opportunity to figure out the whole dating thing." He said, a hint of shyness dripping into his voice. "Oh please, I've seen you on stage. You can flirt like a pro." She scoffed. "Flirt, yeah. When it's empty. I can do it when I know it's not going anywhere. Flirting on stage isn't real. I'm not good when it is real." He shrugged. "I dunno...maybe we should...kiss..or something." He babbled. She gawped at him stupidly. "Easiest way to figure out what's going on here." He said, another shrug indicating his nerves. She swallowed, nodding slightly. "Ok." She didn't even really think about the answer, it just fell out.

He stood, shaking his hair out if his eyes, alternating between jamming his hands in his pockets and taking them out again. He was too cute. A kind of deer in the headlights look about him. The confidence he exuded on stage was nowhere near. He looked nervous. He took a few steps, closing the gap between them. Her heart was racing. He kept his hands limply by his sides as he inched forward, his eyes closing, a slight hitch of breath as his nose bumped hers then gently he pressed his lips to hers. His lips were warm and soft with just a hint of rough where they were chapped. Her heart rate doubled pretty much instantly, even at the lingering, closed mouthed peck. They weren't even really kissing but her stomach fluttered wildly. He shuffled a little closer, catching her bottom lip then the top lip then slowly opening his mouth a little more. His hands moved, running his fingertips up her arm, to her shoulder then resting on her neck, his thumb stroking her jaw. The other hand sat comfortably on her hip, pulling her into him just a little more. She sighed against his lips, her insides going nuts as her arms snaked around his narrow waist. Cautiously, he licked at her top lip, gauging her reaction. She opened up, allowing him to slide his tongue past her lips. A quiet involuntary moan escaped her. He tasted of sweetness and biscuit and she idly wondered if he'd been eating Pocky recently. The hand sat against her hip gripped a little harder. He exhaled heavily through his nose as his tongue caressed hers. He hummed against her mouth, withdrawing his tongue but still taking her lips in deep, lingering kisses, almost like he couldn't quite force himself to stop. With a long sigh, he pulled back, just enough to seperate their lips but still close enough for his nose to nudge hers. "Ok. Yeah. Definitely feel it." He whispered. Her eyes opened, her head fuzzy as she gazed at him with a mixture of affection and desire. She didn't even notice that he was looking at her the same way. He ran his fingers through her hair, a smile breaking onto his kiss reddened lips. She giggled dopily, forehead against his, heart skipping a beat at his responding giggle.

"Don't you need to go do a live?" She grinned. He shook his head, fingers entwining with hers. "It can wait till tomorrow. I just want to keep kissing you." His lips were on hers again before she could even process his reply. She moaned softly, melting against him. He felt sturdy and warm, he smelled amazing. He tasted delicious. He was almost too good. Her head swam at the feel of his tongue in her mouth, exploring, licking and tasting, possessing. He was literally making her weak at the knees. Her grip on him tightened, clutching at his steady frame to keep herself upright, genuinely worried that the depth of his heady kiss was going to send her slithering to the floor. She was just about managing to keep a tentative grasp on her composure until his lips left hers and started fluttering along her cheek, stopping just below her ear to suck the delicate skin there. A shiver bolted down her spine, her head rolling aside to give him more access. He moaned quietly against her neck, teeth nipping her skin. She gasped, another shiver errupting through her. "Damn it Jungkook" she whispered. She didn't know what she was damning. Everything? Nothing? It just seemed to be the only words she could claw from her addled brain. He bit a little harder, instantly soothing the slight burst of pain with a slow, tender lick of his soft, warm tongue. Her fingers knotted through his hair, dragging his head back so she could attack his mouth. He groaned against her lips, pressing his hips against her. She pulled his head back, her eyes locking on his. "You need to stop. I'm too horny for this shit." She panted, kissing along his jawline. He bit his lip, hand cradling the back of her head as her lips and tongue skimmed across his throat. "I can do something about that if you want." He murmured. She moaned again, temptation burning hot at her core. "Fuck" she hissed. He pulled her back from the assault she was carrying out on his neck. "Do you have a room mate?" He asked, brown eyes smouldering. She shook her head. "Where's your room?"

She could hardly believe how her night was turning out as she tried to make it to her room with some semblance of normality. Especially with Jungkook in tow. Luckily it was late enough that nobody was still wandering around in the hallways so the fact that she looked like she was about to eat him wasn't an issue. Arriving at her room, she'd barely closed the door behind them when he was back on her, pressing her into the door, lips on hers, hands wondering to her shirt, stopping the kiss barely long enough to pull it over her head before his tongue was back in her mouth. His hands agaisnt the door, either side of her head, boxing her in as he held her still with his body. She could already feel the uncomfortable ache between her thighs, heat pooling inside her making her squirm. How the fuck could he get her so riled up just by kissing her?

His lips moved down, back to the spot on her neck he seemed to enjoy biting, his teeth nipping and sucking once again. He was going to leave a mark and she absolutely didn't care. She hoped he did. She hoped he left several. If it meant he didn't stop, she'd happily have him suck and bite his initials into her skin if he wanted. His lips travelled further down, hands lifting off the door to cup her boobs, pushing them up and groaning in his throat as he licked languidly down her cleavage. He used his thumbs to tease her bra clad nipples, nipping and sucking at the swell of her ample breasts. She pushed his hair back, staring at him opened mouth as he moved her bra aside and wrapped his lips round her nipple. She moaned softly, biting her lip. He sucked deeply, the pull travelling straight down to her pussy, causing her clit to throb needily. His fingers tugging and rolling her other nipple. She wriggled desperately against the solid wooden door. He switched sides, giving the other nipple the same attention, his mouth felt hot and wet, tongue flicking quickly then slowly, then sucking then nibbling. Each gesture making her pussy clench.

She didn't know how much more she could take. The needy ache was becoming overpowering. Luckily he seemed to sense it, his hands slipping down, flicking the button of her jeans open. He eyed her quickly, requesting permission which was granted with an almost frantic nod. He smirked, hooking his fingers into her jeans and pushing them over her hips teasingly slowly. Her underwear went with them, balling together round her ankles. She couldn't even think enough to kick them off. He stood, leaning against the door with one hand, his eyes on hers as his fingers trailed lightly across her stomach then down, grazing her inner thigh. His smirk was torturous, knowing exactly what she needed and purposefully grazing but giving no relief. "Don't be a brat." She panted. He chuckled darkly, his fingers circling her bellybutton, the tickle making her abdomen clench. "This is what I was talking about. The duality. I like you more when you're being a bunny." She hissed. He laughed again. "No you don't." He muttered, pressing a searing kiss to her lips. "You've waited 16 months. What's an extra two minutes?" He smirked, his fingers once again playing around her inner thigh. "Jungkook I swear to god, I'm just gonna do it myself in a minute." She growled. He rolled his eyes, chuckling breathlessly. "Ok ok. Jesus."

He licked his lips, his smirk faltering as his fingers grazed her slit. "Fuck, you're already wet." He moaned. "Duh, I've been wet since you kissed me in the other room." She whispered. He bit his lip, groaning deeply, his fingers pushing through her folds, finding her clit quickly and circling. The ache tightened in her belly, her knees buckling. He dipped his fingers down against her hole, smearing her own sticky liquid around his fingertips before moving back up to her clit, his index and ring fingers parting her folds while his middle finger gently rubbed her sensative bud. Her breath shuddered, eyes closing as she swallowed thickly. Her head fell back, banging against the door. She was so turned on that his touch almost burned, so sensative already. He maintained a steady pace with his fingers, dipping back down occasionally to recover them in the fluid now leaking from her hole to make the glide of his fingertips smoother. She could barely breath. The stimulation of his careful touch on her clit was almost unbearable, causing the needy ache of her pussy to increase rapidly. She needed to be stretched and filled, her thoughts lost in how his fingers would feel slipping in and out of her greedy hole. Or better yet, his hard cock. She groaned, eyes rolling back as she felt his lips back on her neck. She gripped at his hair, inhaling through clenched teeth. "Jungkook, I need you to fuck me." She whined. He moaned, biting her neck again. "I'm going to. Just not yet." He muttered. She growled pathetically, writhing against the door as he maintained the steady torture with his fingers. She couldn't keep her hands still, grabbing at his hair and his shoulder and the door frame as the pleasure built from a subtle warmth to a searing heat, creeping though her limbs and making her weak. "Fuck...I can't.." she choked, not actually knowing what the end of the statement was. Can't stand it. Can't function. Can't breath. Can't wait. The gradual build of her orgasm was now rushing towards her with alarming speed, every careful brush of his fingertips nudging her closer. "Ahhh. Jungkook...fuck" she huffed. He smirked, lifting his head from her neck to kiss her.

It didn't fit. She expected him to ravage her mouth. He didn't. He kissed her softly, his tongue dancing across her lips, barely any pressure, his free hand coming up to stroke her cheek. Emotional whiplash man in full effect. The action of his fingers was making her wild but his kiss was sweet and soothing. It felt so strange to be kissed that way while being held on the very edge of an orgasm. The way he kept the same steady pace was vicious. She wanted him to speed up, go harder, follow the flow of her building release but he didn't. The slow build drew out her pleasure, his pace maddening. A rush of heat flooded through her, stilling her lips against his mouth, making her gasp for air as every muscle in her body constricted. She could hear her own pleasured wails but they didn't sound like any kind of noise she'd ever made before. Her eyes screwed shut, back arching off the door as her orgasm hit violently, heat coursing from her core and seeping though the rest of her body. She panted helplessly, spots dancing in front of her eyes, her muscles slowly realising. When her knees went, he had an arm around her waist to hold her up. "I've got you." He whispered, kissing her jawline softly. His fingers slowed as she began to shudder, instead moving to trace light, ticklish patterns on her thigh. Her head flopped heavily against his shoulder, fingers gripping at his back like he was the only thing keeping her in one piece. She didn't even notice him moving her until she felt herself sinking heavily into her bed. He laid beside her, chin resting in his hand as he smiled, using the other hand to move her hair off her face. She was quiet for a few minutes, slowly calming her ragged breathing down, enjoying the blissful tingles fading out. When her eyes could focus enough, she looked at him and whined quietly, her heart thumping painfully. He was beyond beautiful. A shaky hand lifted to brush a few strands of dark brown hair away from his pretty eyes. "Wow" she whispered. He chuckled, staring back at her. "You can sleep if you want to. I don't mind." He said softly, noticing her still dozy expression. She shook her head. "Don't wanna sleep. Just need a minute." She muttered. "Kiss me."

He did so immediately. She felt liked she'd kissed him so much yet it wasn't even nearly enough. He was the kind of guy you could lose hours of every day just attached to his face. It was something she would never tire of. Her fingers ran through his hair, sighing against his perfect lips. In her post orgasm haze, she just felt soft for him. Everything about him was so enticing, the pull of him overwhelming. She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. She gripped him tighter than she needed to, suddenly afraid of what would happen when the night was over. He broke the kiss, frowning at her slightly. "What's wrong?" He whispered, fingers trailing across her swollen lips. She kissed his fingertips, holding onto his wrist as she looked at him. "I just...don't want this to end." She muttered. He smiled, rolling his eyes at her. "It doesn't have to." He said simply. She relaxed a little, returning his smile, then pulling him in for yet more kissing.

The kiss became heated pretty quickly. She'd already had an orgasm but he hadn't. He nipped at her bottom lip, hands roaming all over her. He was pretty notorious for his lack of patience and while he had decidedly more restraint in the bedroom, he wasn't a saint. He'd been hard the entire time he'd been fingering her and while he did get off on watching her pleasure, he was beginning to feel needy. He pushed his hips into her thigh, searching for some friction. She pulled away from his lips with a sullen pout. "Why do you still have so many clothes on?" She whined. He chuckled, pushing himself up into a sitting position and shrugging. "Because you haven't taken them off yet." He replied. She sat too, batting her eyelashes and kissing the end of his nose. "Well that's pretty shitty of me. I'm sorry." She joked, pulling his shirt over his head. She'd wanted to be cute and playful but Jungkook without clothes was no joke. She groaned, eyes lingering on his sculpted chest and tight abs. "Jesusfuck" she muttered, broad shoulders tapered down to a narrow waist, the dark ink circling his right arm contrasted strongly against his skin. She bit her lip, oogling him shamelessly.He chuckled, feeling a little bashful. She trailed her fingertips down his chest, her lip caught between her teeth as they skimmed past his belly button and down to the waistband of his cargo pants. With a flick, the button popped open and he lifted his ass to help her pull them off. She'd barely got them to his thighs when she let out another groan. He was hard. His cock straining against his black boxers, a wet spot at the head where pre-cum had soaked through the material. She abandoned her mission to remove his pants, feeling strangely compelled, almost like she had no control as she leant forward, peeling the tight band of his underwear back just enough to lick the head of his cock. He let out a soft yelp, obviously not expecting the sudden jolt of pleasure. "Shit" he whispered, his hands scooping her hair back from her face as he straightened out his legs and lifted his hips. His boxers were pushed down enough to free him from them. She moaned quietly, her tongue gliding from the base of his dick to the head, following the thick vein that spanned his length. "Fuck sake. Even your cock is pretty." She said huskily, illiciting a moan from him. Her fingers wrapped around his shaft, steering the head towards her lips. He watched, entranced as she slowly swirled her tongue over the head, gathering the sticky pre-cum then retreating back into her mouth, grumbling softly with closed eyes as she tasted him. When her eyes opened and fixed on his, his cock throbbed in her hand. With her hair falling around her face, her darkened, swollen lips parted, her eyes glassy, pupils blown, she looked hungry, lowering herself back down to lick the end of his cock again. He hissed, hands gripping tighter in her hair. "I want to fuck your mouth." He panted. She groaned, dropping his cock, it smacked against his belly as he kicked off his cargo pants furiously.

Once off, she threw a leg over his hips sitting across him as her hands tangled in his hair she she caught his lips in a fierce kiss. He groaned into her mouth, he could feel the heat of her wet pussy against his shaft. It took everything he had not to adjust the angle slightly and slide into her. He wanted to desperately but he also wanted to draw the night out as much as he could. He wanted her cock drunk and helpless by the time he'd finished. He could feel her wriggling, trying to rub herself against his cock as she kissed him. He moaned, shifting his position slightly so that his cock slid between her folds, gently rocking so that the head grazed her clit. She whined, breaking the kiss, her head flopping agaisnt his shoulder as she bucked against him. "Fuck me." She whimpered. He smirked, catching her earlobe between his teeth and nibbling softly. "Uh uh" he teased, still undulating his hips to rub his shaft against her clit. "Need you to help me first." He forced her head up, nipping her bottom lip between his thumb and index finger. "Need to fuck this pretty little mouth." He grunted. She moaned, nodding. He smirked, guiding her off him. She slid off the bed, falling to her knees and opening her mouth expectantly. He scrambled over, threading his fingers through her hair as he gripped his throbbing dick and guided it past her lips. He felt her warm, wet mouth engulf him and shuddered, his head falling back, his hips beginning to move slowly, thrusting his cock in and out of her soft mouth. She placed her hands on his muscular thighs, watching his face crease in pleasure as she let him literally fuck her mouth. Her tongue slithered all over his thrusting cock, her mouth filling with saliva as the head hit the back of her throat and she tried to swallow the urge to gag. She stayed still, feeling the needy ache between her thighs grow almost out of control as he used her mouth. His hands tugged at her hair, controlling her movement, sinking his cock deeper and deeper into her throat. Her eyes started to water, gasping for air between his thrusts as he lost himself. His moans initially breathy and quiet were getting louder and higher in pitch. His slow, methodical thrusts were getting quicker, more desperate as he babbled words of praise between moans. "Fuck. So good. Just like that. Yes. Yes." She felt his thighs tense, his muscles rigid. "Fuck, gonna cum. Don't wanna stop. Don't wanna stop." He whined. She moved one hand from his thigh, cupping his balls and squeezing softly. He mewled in surprise and suddenly she felt the spurts of hot cum fill her mouth. He shuddered viciously, hands pulling her hair painfully but unable to relax his clenched fists. She continued to gently run her tongue across the head of his dick, feeling it pulse and twitch as he emptied in her throat. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." He whimpered, his grip loosening. He'd barely stopped cumming when he untangled his hands and dropped down to his knees in front of her. "Are you alright?" He asked between gasps of air. She swallowed the mouthful he'd just given her and smiled. He'd literally just cum and his first action was to check on her. "I'm fine" she whispered, pulling his head against her shoulder where he crumpled pathetically, still panting and whining softly at the aftershocks of pleasure running though him. She ran her fingers through his hair, smiling. He was sweaty and the perfectly straightened hair she'd given him was now wavy and damp.

He allowed himself a few minutes to recover, his legs shaky and his lungs burning for air as the warm, tingly satisfying feeling of his orgasm flooded through him and gently eased. He liked the calming touch of her fingers in his hair and the cool feel of her skin against his burning flesh. He felt her pressing kisses to his shoulder and smiled, lifting his head to meet her eyes. "That was....so good." He chuckled. She grinned proudly. "Sorry I didn't warn you...or pull out. I wouldn't usually just cum in your mouth without asking but...fuck, I thought I could hold on a bit longer." He smiled. She giggled, shaking her head. "It's ok. I wanted you to." She grinned. "It was really hot. I really like doing that to you." She admitted. He grinned, curling a strand of her hair around his fingers. "You can do that to me whenever the fuck you want to." He laughed. "Don't tell me that. You'll spend your entire life with your dick in my mouth." She grinned. "Sounds good to me." He shrugged. They both laughed. He stood, offering his hand to pull her up too. He kissed her, standing at the end of the bed, naked bodies pressed together as his hands wandered up and down her back. He could taste himself of her lips and though the thought of it would usually make him feel kind of weird, he just found it incredibly hot. "You taste like my cum" he whispered against her lips, tongue delving deeper into her mouth. She moaned against his lips. "Are you trying to kill me?" She breathed. He chuckled, pushing her back gently until she collided with the bed and fell backwards onto it. "Maybe" he shrugged, crawling into the bed between her legs. She gasped, shuffling backwards. "What you doing?" She muttered. He pushed her legs apart, biting his lip as he looked unabashedly at her glistening pussy. "Hungry." He grunted, dropping down onto his elbows and kissing her thigh. "You're going to kill me." She hissed, watching him kiss closer to her throbbing core. "Shhh. I'm busy." He muttered, teasingly running his tongue along the crease where her leg met her groin. Her breath caught in her throat. Just the sight of his head between her legs had her pussy contracting.

"Jungkook, I..." He stopped her, mid sentence by swiping his tongue through her folds. "Oh my god." She panted. He smirked, another long lick from hole to clit, groaning as the taste of her tingled on his tongue. "Fuck. You taste so good." He murmured. He curled his arms around her thighs, spreading her legs further so that her pussy was open and on display. A groan rattled in his throat, his teeth clamping down on his bottom lip before he leant forward and flicked his tongue against her leaking hole, feeling the ring of muscle contract wildly, trying to draw something inside. "You need a cock in you, huh?" He muttered, talking to her pussy. He flicked his tongue once more watching the muscles contract again. "I know you're needy. Just wait a little longer. I need to make her cum again and then I'm all yours. Promise." He whispered.

She watched in amazement. He was nestled comfortably between her parted legs, talking to her vagina like it was a separate entity. She knew Jungkook had a habit of talking to inanimate objects, she'd seen him apologise to chairs when he'd walked into them and ask his food if it was cool enough to eat yet but she'd never imagined in a billion years that that extended to pussy too. When he spoke to chairs, it was adorable. When he spoke to her pussy, it was mind meltingly sexy. She kind of wanted to sit there, third wheeling while he had a whole ass conversation with it. Another flick of his tongue broke her thought then as his tongue fluttered up to her clit, her mind went completely blank. He ate pussy the way he ate noodles, slurping, sucking, lips and tongue. Repeat until insane. He didn't seem to care about the sloppy sounds or lip smacking. He was a noisy eater and she fucking loved it. He dived in enthusiastically and for a woman, there was nothing sexier than a guy who ate pussy because he loved it, not because he felt he had to. He groaned happily, his tongue everywhere, lips closing around her clit, sucking and licking her most sensitive spot until he had to tighten his grip on her thighs to keep her still. Her orgasm built quickly, her hips writhing as she clawed at the sheets beneith her, legs kicking involuntarily under his vice like grip. He moaned, forcing her legs up, his hands behind her knees as he hovered over her, head moving as he made out with her clit like it was her mouth. He didn't stop as her orgasm hit, sucking and licking at her pussy until she was convulsing, her cries somewhere between pleasure and distress. "AHHHH JUNGKOOK, PLEASE" she wailed. "Want me to stop?" He panted quickly, his tongue swirling against her overly sensative clit once again. "YES. NO. I DON'T KNOW" she squealed. It felt too intense. Almost painful. But so good. Unlike anything she'd ever felt before. Her past experiences had all ended as soon as she'd cum but apparently that didn't necessarily mean the end to Jungkook. She crushed the pillow to her face, barely muffling the strangled moans escaping her. "Oh fuck. I'm gonna cum again." She cried. This pleasure was different. Sharper. Her muscles burned, being tensed for too long but unable to relax under his persistent tongue. Her mouth dropped open in a silent scream, her vision went blank, her skin felt on fire and then the raging, hot, sharp pleasure eased. Her muscles slowly unwound and she practically melted into the bed. He was beside her without her even noticing him move. Gentle kisses peppered her face and he moved her sweaty hair back. "Just breath babygirl" he cooed. "Are you alright? Too much?" He whispered. She shook her head, grabbing for his hand and clutching it as her senses returned. "Need you in me." She growled, throwing the pillow aside.

Something about her last orgasm had snapped her resolve and even though the pleasent tingles still washed through her, she couldn't think of anything other than how empty she felt. She'd been craving his cock inside her since they'd kissed against the door and that was hours ago. She couldn't stand another minute of teasing and Jungkooks cocky smirk wasn't helping her any. "Ooh. I really drove you crazy." He teased. "Remind me to do that again..." He kissed her, his tongue teasing her lips and leaving the taste of herself behind, "..and again" He nibbled her bottom lip softly, "...and again!" He whispered. She glared at him as he smiled widely, his nose crinkling. "Don't bunny smile at me." She hissed. He laughed, trailing his fingers across her stomach. "I thought you liked the duality thing. That's what you said earlier." He grinned. "I do...but can you save the bunny bit until after you've fucked me." She whined. He laughed harder. "If you wanna fuck, I'm not stopping you." He shrugged. She eyed him for a second then pushed him onto his back, throwing her leg over his hips. He hummed appreciatively, biting his lip as his eyes roamed slowly down her body, taking his hard cock in his hand and rubbing it against her pussy. "Y'know, I've just had an orgasm. My legs are still wobbly. If you were a gentleman you'd do the work." She smirked, grinding against his cock. He laughed, raising an eyebrow. "Oh is that right?"

He sat up suddenly, sending her flying backwards, she screeched and giggled, grabbing onto his arms as he flipped them so that he was on top of her. He took her hands, pinning them either side of her head. "I was letting you take control cause you said you wanted to fuck. But now..." He paused, kissing her, groaning into her mouth as his tongue slid against hers. "...I'm in control...and I don't wanna fuck. I'm gonna go nice...and slow." He grinned as she started to protest, taking his dick in his hand and rubbing the end against her hole, chuckling as her words stopped instantly. "Yeah, thought that'd shut you up." He lined up, pushing forward, his eyes fluttering as he felt the soft slick heat stretch and swallow the tip. She tried to raise her hips but he pinned them down with a smirk, kissing her softly before resting his forehead against hers. "No baby. Slowly." He breathed, pushing forward a little more. He savoured the feeling of her tight, hot pussy accepting him inch by inch until his hips were flush against hers. He exhaled heavily, his eyes closing as he pressed his lips to hers hungrily. "Wrap your legs around me" he whispered, looking into her lust filled eyes. With her hips lifted, it changed the angle allow him even deeper. "Oh fuck" she grunted, her hands clenched against his shoulders. "Too deep?" He muttered. She shook her head. She felt stretched and filled completely. He was deep enough to make her toes curl. He withdrew just as slowly, whining, his mouth falling open and his brow creasing. "Oh shit." He groaned. He'd wanted to go slow. To tease her until she couldn't stand it anymore but he was the one who gave in first. She was hot and tight and velvety soft. His stomach tightened, his hips moving faster automatically. He kissed her desperately, moans mingling together along with their tongues. Every time he started to pull out, her walls clamped around him, holding and squeezing his throbbing cock. He could barely form a thought, feverishly driving his cock into her over and over as she moaned beneath him. He could feel her getting tighter and wetter. He forced his eyes open. "Look at me" he panted. Her eyes opened, glassy and unfocused. He moaned deeply, the pleasured expression etched on his face along with the sounds he was making only pushed her closer to release. He looked and sounded so fucking sexy, the perfect drag of his thick, hot cock, so hard, so deep, she'd never felt anything like it. She felt like everything about him was designed to please. "Jungkook..." she purred, her hips rolling and bucking in rhythm with his. "Fuck. I'm so close." He moaned. She bit her lip. His golden skin gleamed as sweat began to roll down his neck and onto his chest. Her back arched, the steady thrust of his cock pounding into her driving her closer and closer. She gripped his back, her nails clenching. He felt the bite of pain and hissed, thrusting harder. "Let go baby. Let me see you come undone one more time." He growled. It was like she didn't have a choice, her body simply obeying, her orgasm shattering through her. He felt it, the hard clench of her walls followed by the rapid pulsing, milking his cock, pulling his cum from him. His steady rhythm faltered, his head dropping onto her shoulder as he fucked through the pleasure, his cum spilling deep inside her making his thrusting sloppier. He was still twitching as his arms gave out and he flopped heavily down on top of her, gasping for air, his head swimming and buzzing. He could feel her hot, ragged breath against his ear. He wanted to move off of her, check she was ok, do something but he couldn't move. He felt heavy, his mind cloudy. He just about managed to throw his leg over her hips and slither beside her, dozily pulling her into his arms as he pressed soft, breathless kisses to her forehead. "Roll" he mumbled, tapping her hip. She forced herself onto her side, grumbling contentedly as he curled up behind her, spooning her. "I think I'm gonna pass out." She whispered, giggling weakly. He chuckled, his own eyes heavy, the urge to sleep clawing

at him insistently. "Sleep. I'm not going anywhere." He muttered.

[spxnglr]

Hello guys, gals and all my other beloved pals. Once again, my health has prevented me from being here.

To put it simply, I've finally sought help for a depressive state that has lasted the better part of seven or eight years - up until recently I thought I was handling it well, but as it turned out, I really wasn't, and it was causing too much negativity from all angles. So, on Wednesday, I talked to a doctor.

She prescribed me a two-week course of a very low dosage antidepressant to see how I get on with them. Let me tell you, yesterday and today (day two and three respectively) I developed a stutter. No joke. A literal stutter. I couldn't talk to people properly. I couldn't tell them what I wanted to say without sounding my bs and my ps and my ws and other letters over and over again. It was scary. Loved ones were worried for me. I've had to take time off work because my job involves verbal communication and I just wasn't capable of it. This isn't even taking drowsiness and a general lack of awareness into account, by the way.

Anyway, the good news is that the stutter is gone, for now at least. Honestly? I'm only on day three and I feel so much better. My constant headaches are gone, I have more energy, doing things around the house isn't exhausting me. I'm glad I finally pulled my finger out and sought help. I don't want to take this medication forever, but I feel like I need it for now.

I'll be here in the next day or two. That's a promise, this time. I hope you're all keeping well. Much love. xoxo

[wikluk]

Hey there! I love all your fics and recently read the three chapters that are posted of "We'll get by just fine." Wondering if you're taking requests for that? I would love to see one set pre-movie where Pepa is like REALLY sick, to the point no one wants to go near her because her weather is going crazily out of control - But Bruno decides that yes, his sister is worth coming out of his room. But then he gets sick, and nobody knows until Pepa goes to thank him, sees he's sick and tries to help.

Hello! Alright! I'll do my best!

for you (there's nothing in this world i wouldn't do)

Pepa sneezed for a hundredth time this hour, which was followed by a loud thunder that boomed in her room.

"Mierda," she muttered, feeling that her nose was clogged again, though only a few minutes before she finally managed to breathe through both nostrils after what seemed like ages.

Her dark cloud loomed over her head, thundering and lighting up once in a while - a gloomy and annoying reminder that the weather seemed to get out of her control every time she was sick.

She hated the lack of control that her body caused at moments like these, especially with two toddlers in their Casita, both of them still terrified by storms, whether they were natural or caused by her emotions.

She wished she could go to Julieta. Her sister always knew how to help her and how to make her feel better but the oldest triplet was pregnant at this time, nearing her ninth month, and she was miserable enough as it was - Pepa didn't want to risk getting her sister sick as well.

It left her with Félix, but since they had Dolores, when Pepa got sick and her husband appeared to be healthy, they usually separated to sleep in two beds, not risking falling ill at the same time with a baby to take care of.

So Félix couldn't keep her company as well.

She just wanted to have someone near... Especially since her headache and blocked nose drove her crazy all the time.

It seemed her wish was answered because just after a few seconds, Pepa heard a knock on her door.

"Come in!" she called out and immediately started coughing and sniffing in between.

Someone walked into the room and Pepa looked down from her bed to see Bruno of all people, making his way toward her. "Hola Pepi, a special delivery from Juli!"

"Aw Brunito," she called back in a raspy voice. "What a sight for sore eyes you are!"

He snorted. "I know you'd prefer Julieta."

"I would!" she agreed, watching as he made his way up, slowly, minding every step, with the tray held in both hands. "But since she's about to pop soon, I think you'd have to be enough."

"I left my cave for you," he reminded.

Pepa chuckled. "You left your cave for me. I thought you fell from your stairs on your way up or down, you know? I haven't seen you in a week!"

Bruno shook his head. "Ah, you know, busy life up there."

"Surely," she stated dryly.

Her brother finally reached the top of the stairs and put the tray on her bed table, before sitting down on the mattress.

Pepa squinted at him. "Tell me your rats are not here."

Bruno rolled his eyes. "They're not, I wouldn't risk them getting wet and sick as well," he said, looking at her cloud pointedly.

"Hey, I'm not drizzling yet," she grumbled and looked at the tray. "What's that?"

"A special delivery, as I said," he reached towards the tray and took a mug to hand it to her. "It's warm. Juli said you should drink it as soon–" he stopped as Pepa drank up the whole mug in a few seconds. "–as it cools down. Okay..."

"It wasn't that hot–" a sneeze. "Mierda!"

Bruno sighed. "Lay down."

Pepa didn't have the energy to oppose him. He tucked her under the covers and grabbed her left hand, trailing his finger on her palm and the back of her hand. She smiled, closing her eyes.

"It's nice."

"Yeah."

"You saw Juli doing it, didn't you?"

A chuckle. "Yeah."

"Good," she said, taking a deep breath through her mouth. "You're just as good."

Bruno gently squeezed her hand.

______________________

A few days passed in a similar way. Bruno would visit her and bring her a tray with some snacks and medicine made by Julieta and Pepa would slowly get better.

Her cloud was more under control, her weather stopped being so crazy and she finally stopped thundering at random times. And her nose wasn't clogged anymore, for what she was the most grateful. She hated breathing through her mouth and waking up with her tongue dryer than sand in Bruno's room.

On the fourth day, Pepa was entirely healthy, and Bruno didn't visit her.

He was probably still asleep, she thought, checking the time. Her brother was rather a night owl, going to bed late in the night (or even early in the morning) to wake up when the dinner was near.

Pepa was grateful for all he did for her. His presence through the days was very comforting, and she enjoyed every moment he spent with her, even though most of the time she was just laying or sleeping with him massaging her hands or rambling about his newest ideas, or telling her about those stupid, ridiculous dreams he often got.

So she wanted to thank him properly. Watched closely by Julieta, with her help, she prepared Bruno a late breakfast and decided to bring it to his room.

She hoped, she really hoped he didn't fall asleep in the hammock up there, all the way to his vision cave. She didn't want to climb all the way, she really preferred staying down there.

But luckily for her, she saw him slumped in his chair, in the bedroom area of his room, asleep and snoring.

With a smile, she approached his small table and put the tray down.

"Brunito!" she sing-sang, a joyful smile on her lips. "I brought you breakfast made by me! With Juli's help, though, but it was my idea!"

He only groaned in response, not waking up.

Pepa rolled her eyes and clapped his cheeks. "Bruno!"

But she stopped, feeling that his cheeks were burning. She stroked all his face, and it felt just as hot everywhere, and she frowned, patting his cheek lightly. Bruno opened his eyes, and they were glossy.

"Ay," Pepa pouted, brushing his dark locks out of his face. "You got sick because of me..."

"Hola Pepi," he mumbled with a smile, trying to sit straight. "Dang, my head hurts–"

"Because you're sick," she sighed, biting her lower lip. "I didn't want you to catch it, lo siento."

Bruno blinked heavily, frowning. "What are you sorry about?" he rasped out, clearing his throat. "It's not like you forced me to keep you company, I chose it," he chuckled weakly, and it turned into a cough. "And I knew I might get sick."

"I know but..."

"Sh, sh," he muttered, raising his hand. He tapped his temple. "My head, remember?"

Pepa nodded, pulling on her braid. "I brought you breakfast," she whispered. "I wanted to thank you for staying with me... But I think I'm gonna go to Juli and ask her for some medicine for you as well."

"No need," he mumbled, grabbing an arepa from the plate. "I'll be fine in a few days."

But Pepa was known for being stubborn. "No treatment? No way!" she announced. "You're sick because of me, so I'll take care of you!"

"Pepi..."

"Don't Pepi me!" she said firmly. "You were a good hermano to me, so I'm gonna be a good hermana to you! Gimme five minutes and eats something!"

She turned on her heels and stormed out of the room. She intended to keep her promise and repay her brother for what he did for her. Kindness for kindness, just like mamá taught them.