#again go crazy i dont have a specific context in mind

[everseens]

muse - ellie tang , personal assistant , she/her . CLOSED open to - any

"in about a minute, you'll be sorry you didn't listen to me."

[milessunflowers]

i know, technically, u dont write for gabi so i apologise in advance but this idea is stuck in my head (feel free to yell at me in dms lmfao)

neongum (gabi/isack) going on a road trip with bff!reader who is tired of hearing them argue bcuz reader knows theyre in love with each other (but reader doesn't know they also are in love with him)

-bear :D

NEONGUM!!! MY FAVORITE RARE PAIRING

gabriel bortoleto x male!reader x isack hadjar

synopsis: you have been close with gabi and isack for as long as you can remember, karting with them and traveling with them. you knew how in love they were with each other, but you missed the fact that you were just as in love with them and they were just as in love with you, if not more

author's note: for context on why we call them neongum, bear and i discussed it about how their racesuits, specifically isack's, looks like a pack of gum and (obviously) gabi's is neon green so yeah! neongum!!! also i kinda made is established!neongum without meaning to 😅

you were used to always tagging along with gabi and isack

you had for years and just because they wouldn't stop bickering or acting like an old married couple wouldn't stop that

well, maybe just a little because you started to feel left out and like a third wheel

they didn't notice you putting distance between you and them until a month or so later because they were too wrapped up in each other

then they feel really bad and try to make it up to you

you tell them it's okay and that you didn't mind

you convinced yourself for a while that they either: a) didn't want to be friends anymore with you, or b) that they were together and the feelings you thought might have possibly been there weren't

overthinking™️

anyways

for weeks they try to make it up to you, both of them discussing how to make it up to you because they love you

they don't want to lose you ever

thats when gabi, ever the genius, comes up with the idea for a road trip

isack is down immediately because who wouldn't want to be in a car for hours with two hot men?!

he'd be crazy not to agree

especially since he's in love with both you (but him and gabi have a hard time showing you)

it takes some convincing and bribery to get you to agree

you were convinced they invited you out of pity

so you were hesitant to go because you thought you were imposing on their date

you ended up in the driver's seat, with isack and gabi in the back most of the time

they were chatting away and holding hands

you felt sick to your stomach, partly from jealousy and partly from guilt

once again, the two failed to realize what they were doing

half the time, they were talking and half the time sleeping

so for a good portion of the first few days you felt really isolated

which had you ovwrthinking™️ again

especially when you guys stayed at the hotels

they cuddled and you were on the opposite side of the room, closest to the air conditioning unit, crying to yourself

isack woke up one night to use the restroom and found you crying, on the phone with dino because he was like your brother

the next morning, isack and gabi talked about how to make it up to you and how to get better about showing how much they love you and wanted you in their relationship

you were out for a morning run and when you got back to the hotel, the boys had packed up theirs and your stuff and were packing up the car

this time, gabi was driving

and he kissed your forehead and apologized to you before opening the door for you

you climb in and were greeted with isack

he was getting pillows and blankets ready when he hugged you tightly and also apologized

they talked to you about how isack heard you last night, how bad they felt, and how stupid they were because they thought they were showing you that they were also, in fact, head over heels in love with you

you were stunned and broke down crying which panicked gabi and isack

you explained that you thought they just invited you out of pity

turns out the three of you are pretty dumb when it comes to sharing feelings

but, as it also turns out, you guys are seriously made for each other

so now, at rest stops and gas/petrol stations, you guys take turns driving and getting snacks

isack, however, insists on always being in control of the music

there is still bickering, but you realize that when they do it with you, it's loving

gabi knows how to flirt somewhat, still a bit iffy but isn't as bad at it as isack

isack who literally cannot flirt to save his life

kind of funny to you and gabi (which you tease isack about all the time) since he was literally born in paris

to that, isack just sticks his tongue out at you two

but it's not like you are any better at flirting

you are oblivious to it and for the most part, up until this point at least, thought people were either being nice or felt bad for you

the rest of the road trip, you three squeeze onto the hotel beds, isack in the middle, gabi almost starfished on one side and you trying to keep and arm over the two of them all night

it's a very difficult task since gabi, i feel, moves around a lot in his sleep

and isack is like a rock and won't budge

hes also a heavy sleeper and seriously will only wake up to use the restroom

meaning he is either climbing over you or gabi, but gabi is also a heavy sleeper so he doesn't seem to notice

you always wake up when one of them moves out of bed or in bed because you are a light sleeper

the first night you slept with them and isack went to use the restroom, you had a panic attack because you were scared

gabi made sure you were okay and put on some background noise and told you you would get used to isack leaving to use the bathroom

isack was confused when he saw you were now in the middle but didn't question it and just climb back into bed and fell right back to sleep

the road trip is ten times more fun now that there isn't any tension (well, except for a bit of sexual tension)

you guys were on the road for like two weeks, just visiting different places and having dates practically everyday to make up for lost time

no one is surprised by night three of you guys being together you hard launch

dino literally texts you and says "told you you dumb fuck"

you just laugh and show your boyfriends who laugh but are also sheepish about it at the same time

for the longest time before the road trip, paul and dino (our favorite boyfriends!!) were conspiring to get the three of you together

paul did most the work on isack and gabi since he seemed to spend a lot of time with them on podiums and such

while dino of course worked on your end

those attempts ultimately failed and they almost gave up

dino was the one to give you the final push to go on the road trip

gabi and isack put together a gift basket for dino and paul after that to thank them for their endless attempts at putting you guys together

the road trip ended with them offering to help you move in with them and you immediately accept

they help you pack your apartment and move in with them

once you are unpacked and settled, you guys finally do it

best sex of your life if you must admit

TAGS! (if you want to be added, lmk!)

@op-81-lvr-reblogs, @koalapastries, @justaf1girl, @ghostking4m, @spoonfulofmilo, @seonghwaexile, @alex-wotton, @raizelchrysanderoctavius

[ritzcuit]

it's no secret that i am a massive fan of spirit of justice, except more specifically, i am a massive fan of datz are'bal, and More specifically, i'm a fan of datz's relationship with dhurke, which i widely have to extrapolate from context clues bc this game hates me. so i often reread the transcripts, of 6-3 and 6-5, to reflect upon the nature of datz are'bal.

well... the way he talks abt dhurke drives me crazy mostly. and i wanted to compile all the freak moments where he yaps about dhurke and the kids. Plus some random extra bits... think of it like a dhurkedatz manifesto, if you want

screenshots using the ace attorney wikia transcript. soj spoilers ahead. Obviously

we have to start midway through the third case, 'cause up until this point datz had brain damage. anyway "brother in arms" gay. "just like you!" gay. Ok not that gay. but it demonstrates datz's entire purpose for being in this game, "im going to tell you about dhurke sahdmadhi in great detail"

oh god It's starting. this is from inspecting the board of photos in the defiant dragons' office.. sorry i forgot datz's other purpose for being in this game, "i'm going to tell you about dhurke sahdmadhi's kids in great detail." i cant. hes so. endlknfgdf

just all this yapping for no reason. it's like a guy showing you photos of his kids in his wallet. Yeah he went to school to study revolution^_^ being close enough to that family to know how much yuty looked up to dhurke is so... to know yuty's motivations... why do you know all this, datz?! do you think he would help yuty study for law school 🥺well dhurke definitely did too, but like...what if both of them helped 🥺

"dhurke's been beside himself" as if datz didn't just wistfully reminisce about how yuty used to be the pride of the dragons. you are NOT an impartial party my man! "we all thought! we were sure...!" it makes me wonder how many other rebels would know that dhurke was torn up over losing his son like this. he puts on a strong face, right, like everyone in ace attorney... but datz is at least close enough to see him struggling with it. like come awn

just more yapping. mind you, datz is currently pretending to be abandoning the revolution right now (though you probably can interact with this afterwards, when he gives up on that). but still. pov you went to a defector to get info on the defiant dragons, but all he's doing is talking about their leader's sons for no damn reason

BC IT'S THE LIKE. EAGERNESS. THAT GETS ME. he knew those kids and by god he is going to tell you about them 😭

inspecting the old sign........... it brings to mind a datz who used to hang around in dhurke's old office with him, like maya does phoenix, just being in his business for no good reason. young 20 somethings with the whole world open to them. "this place has seen better days" and i know damn well datz was seeing them too! Gay

talking to datz directly, this is under "dhurke the attorney" and the fanboying Begins in earnest. again, theoretically, he is pretending to defect from the dragons right now. it's like he was fucking vibrating waiting for phoenix to ask him about his best friend. "he was a force to be reckoned with! he was a juggernaut, as mighty as a dragon!" YOU! ARE! GAY! just geeking out over how cool dhurke was for NO REASON

STOP

Like i cannot express how much of a fucking geek he sounds like right here. "oh i'm defecting from the dragons cus dhurke is a traitorous snake. Anyway he's SO FUCKING COOL :)" he literally sounds awestruck. He would never surrender... sparkling eyes... EW

while breaking datz's psyche locks. gay

i dont even have anything to say. "that look in your eyes... it's just like dhurke's" Yeah i bet you pay attention to what dhurke's eye looks like you little freak. i bet dhurke said something rly cool in court one time and you fell in love with him then and there. Ewwwww Throws hammers. also i just like these lines it's very badass of him. datz said ok ill die for the dragons idgaf and phoenix said IGAF VERY MUCH PERSONALLY I LOVE NOT DYING

pff

later on, after all topics were cleared, datz exposition dumps some more. nothing actually that interesting but "dhurke was framed, i'm telling ya!" is sooo cute to me. it makes me wonder how many rebels do still think dhurke's guilty, but are critical of the ga'ranian regime for other reasons. probably a lot, right? thinking about datz defending dhurke's innocence to other dragons, but then dhurke's like... datz it's fine if they think i'm guilty, so long as they still agree with our cause. it isn't about me it's about the greater good of khura'in. and datz is like. OK BUT THEY'RE STILL WRONG THOUGH 😭😭

"it's like dhurke used to say" fanboy. there's no other words for it

"fangs of the defiant dragons" is an interesting thing. datz calls himself that thrice (once during the trial after he regains his memory and once later on in 6-5). i don't know what it means. LOL i even made my friend who knows japanese hunt down the original line to try and understand it, and we got nothing bc it's basically identical. it gives off the impression that He's Him, tm, he's The Guy, who does shit.. which isn't actually very dhurkedatz, but it's dhurkedatz to me. so much of dhurke IS the revolution, and the dragons. their entire relationship is through the revolution and the dragons. so it stands to reason that if datz is important to the dragons, then he's important to...?well you know

like the defiant dragon bites down and doesnt let go. it needs fangs to bite, of course.......oh the crucial datz...crying

that's basically it for 6-3, except the very end-

aw. theyre hanging out :)

cutting to 6-5 because 6-4 has nothing for us. i have dreams that 6-4 actually has datz in it somewhere and i just never checked, because there's something wrong with me

datz isn't here yet.. this is from inspecting charley, obvs. who's "we" though. you know who we is? it's datz. now. to me. it's dhurke and datz. they lost aj and then yuty ok let them have their cactus. This could also just be a lie ENDFKLNGDF But its too easy to imagine datz getting a cactus and being like "it's like aj! 'cause of it's spines!" and dhurke is Just enough of a sad lonely old man to keep it around. until it like dies i guess rip apollo

talking to dhurke under "request" gives us this. My Compatriot. god made them compatriots bc they would be unstoppable as canon lovers. my compatriot. i should smack u. THATS UR FANGS IDIOT -_- Anyway it's clear from how much datz yaps abt him, but it's nice to have confirmation that apollo remembers him too :) running around him... maybe its "running around with him"? i wouldnt know. but still...so cute..what if i cried rightnow

a whole bunch of nothing bc they're keen on hiding him from me. this is ages later while inspecting the suitcase in archie buff's house. dhurke...thats ur knucklehead...

apollo remembering enough about datz to make fun of him *wiping tear from eye*im so happy *sniffling*

talking to paul atishon, who does not matter. dhurke... hes your buffoon....

but don't worry. he's here. it's datz. everyone get excited. it's time for The Scene, of which i have actual screenshots

this is my "intellectual attraction" this is my "unnecessary feelings" my "her respect as a coworker wasn't all i wanted" orhowever that shit goes. Dhurke! You're a sight for sore eyes! it's so nothing compared to those other three, but i can't help it. I love it so much.....

i love datz being such a freak who can't calm down for 5 minutes. i love dhurke being so understated here. its so funny. he said girl calm down it's just me 😭 and datz's stupid big ass smile once he realizes it's oomf.. i knew you'd come save me!

it's worth noting that in jp, according to my friend who knows these sorts of things, "you're a sight for sore eyes" is just "My partner!" with partner being aibou, which is also used for phoenix/edgeworth, klavier/daryan, and asougi/ryuunosuke. It's too much...datz likes him so bad. get a ROOM!

theyre both so weird

if you present the founder's orb transfer agreement, you get this exchange. please...the banter. i wish we got 50000p more pages of this.

Anyway um it turns out i hit image limit ...smiles cheekily...i could replace the sight for sore eyes pics with one screenshot, but i wont, bc its that important To Me. well. ill continue this in a part 2 because there is still plenty more to be seen

[strlitetheatre]

⠀⠀⠀ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ hey , over here !

come on down , meet me at the bleachers .. ｡･ﾟﾟ･

⠀||⠀𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶 !!⠀||

༊*·˚ adult [ 19 , sept 22 ] . any / all pronouns .  virgo ☉ taurus ☾ aries ↑ .  desi [ bengali ] , canadian .  queer ; bisexual , genderfluid , polyamorous .  isfp / infj ,  1w9 .  uni student , ongoing psych major .  neurodivergent , mentally ill , terrible memory . nonhuman ?

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༊*·˚ eye emojis helwo .. im so intimidated by hatchetblr LMFAO but im DINO or BEAR !! i hope to have a good fun time ,'] my inactive asf main blog is @sleebiebear , the weird-activity hf oc rp blog i share with my wife [ @misshollowayss ] is @swinginthehatchet , my FRESH NEWBORN sideblog is @watcherwrld and my reblog account is @strlitestage if anyone even caresss and i currently have art comms open ! ask me about it if u want :p

LINKS⠀:⠀pinterest⠀spotify⠀art ig⠀ao3

༊*·˚ more about this blog under the cut !!

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༊*·˚ on the topic of the blog itself , i feel like its kinda obvious but to state it again ; this is a mainly STARKID / HATCHETFIELD-CENTRIC BLOG !! hatchetfields been a pretty big fixation for the past few months for me and Boy do i have thoughts on it as well as starkids other projects . there will [ hopefully ] be pretty 50/50 ratio on my own posts vs reblogs , but whenever i go on about a certain chara or charas , i will be tagging accordingly !! i like sorting :33 and in terms of warnings , ill try to tag certain things that need trigger and / or content warnings , but also theres a lot of crazy shit going on in hatchetfield !! i cant even remember everything but ill tag depending on posts !!

DNI⠀:⠀basic dni criteria we all know it . terfs . ai users or enablers / enjoyers . vivziepop / helluva boss / hazbin hotel enthusiasts sorry i just am not too comfy w that .

BYF⠀:⠀i will mainly be interacting w other starkid-related blogs n posts , if you are 16 or below or just have 'minor' in your bio i dont mind if you interact but i most likely will not interact / follow back just because im not fully comfy w that . i do need tonetags and i will use tonetags regularly ! i do make kms / kys jokes but most of the kys jokes will most likely be in the context of me talking abt characters and will be tagged accordingly .

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༊*·˚ in terms of whooo i’ll be talking about ,  i usually have a few specific characters rotating my brain like a revolvin door ,  but on top of canon hatchetfield characters ,  i also have a lot of ocs for hatchetfield !!  i will most likely throw some of them into the wind every now and then because oc creation is a big outlet for me and a key way of how i show my love for a media !  if i make an oc for it u KNOW im in deep lol ,  but for now i’ll mostly have a concise list of charas i’ll mainly be talking about on here ,’] ofc this list is not set in stone and i’ll prolly talk about a lot more !

༊*·˚ i ALSO indulge very heavily in . a good amount of oc/canon shipping ,  non-canon shipping ,  and multi-shipping ,  so i may speak on that sometimes too .  if thats a bother to anyone then feel free to click off ,  idrc !  i do it because its fun and im abnormal about characters lmfao ,  but i know its not everyones cup of tea .  just a warning !!

CANON⠀:⠀[ my interpretations of ] the spankoffski family ,  the matthews family ,  the chasity family [ specifically mark and karen ] ,  the jägerman family ,  ruth fleming , charlotte sweetly ,  the workin boys ,  emma perkins ,  gary goldstein , linda monroe ,  the foster family ,  pokotho ,  bliklotep ,  t’noy karaxis , jason jepson , melissa dean , roman murray .

ORIGINAL CHARACTERS⠀:⠀dania + didrika kumar ,  olive matthews [ yeah we alr know where this ones going ] ,  penelope + samson kline ,  fredrick + erica + james buchanan ,  goldie rosalind cross [ ... lol ] ,  cj + gabriel elijah + elodie mae walker ,  blake + beau + brahm devaney ,  adonis heliach-ancunín ,  benjamin kingston , genevieve grosven , yori + himika + hansik kutsuki , evelina florentino , quinn dersey , jay macnamara [ ..... LOL. ] , magdalena whitstone .

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༊*·˚ i was gonna talk abt my taggin system but bah. literally just put #dino talks hatchetfield or any characters full name [ ex. #dino talks paul matthews or dino talks whatever family ] , #dino yaps , or #dino does art , and smth will def show up .

༊*·˚ ted and pete + tinky + ted + mark graphics / dividers by @misshollowayss . blinky + tinky + pokey gifs by @cherrieguroo .

[androcola]

"i dont understand why you think there are rules to writing" *proceeds to give rules for writing*. lmao dumb fuck.

i actually truly despise to be "that" person, like i would never invoke this in any other context but like. i took the ACT in high school 5 times and there was not a single time i did not get a 36 (highest score) on the English/grammar section. i retook it again last year for fun and once again got a 100% score. anyways all this to say that i know "'"proper""" grammar more than any motherfucker here. and i can tell u for a fact ur fic was good in that aspect. the few grammar "mistakes" you made were actually completely ignorable. if someone found it distracting to the point of sending you anon hate, it is something they were purposefully looking for in order to get mad at. they decided to go hate on you and then went looking for justification for that hate in your work.

also the whole "crazy that theres ppl coming out of the woodworks to praise you" umm who? fic writers r like, historically underrated in fandom. who is coming out of the woodworks? like ur straight up seeking out artists whose work is specifically underrated and then bullying those artists? hello? the fuck lol. this alone proves theyre just using buzzwords that they think will upset you lol.

anyways please keep writing bc ur work is genuinely really warm and unique and i really love the humanity you give your characters. and i love seeing how you expand on them and create new little things to heighten them. your work really adds to how i think about them in my mind as well because it is just so fitting. please do not think this person's words matter one bit and please continue with your stuff, both your writing and your visual art. because its actually really wonderful and i do mean that genuinely.

YAY NICIES !!!!! honestly like I don't have any aspirations to become a full time writer or make my online presence to be a writer. I am literally Such a casual writer so obviously I'm not gonna be a grammar genius. I probably could've taken them more seriously if they weren't also throwing Personal insults at me. that just goes to show that they weren't here to constructively criticize, they were here just to tear me down. calling me stupid and saying that no one likes me kinda has nothing to do with my writing at all so idk what the point of all that was. id really really love for them to come off anon and show me their whole portfolio since they have the audacity

[angelicdonuts]

OH MY GOD

This is the final part of Huge Art Dump!! Part... 8?? I still didn't check

HORRAAAAYYYYY!!! HERES A BUNCH OF FNF/PRESENT TIME (for my au at least hehehe ^_^ !! [I call my version of Pico's school/fnf an au since... It just feels right!! I make wayy too much noncanon stuff happen for me to feel comfortable not referring to it as such. Even if thats literally the rule of what making ocs for stuff is based on, as in changing shit to fit your character into the universe, the fact i gave the whole canon cast like... backstories of my own is what drives the whole au thing home for me ^_^". Also im oddly afraid of backlash :'^??]) PRICKO FOCUSED STUFF!!

THERES A

LOT

GOING ON HERE... A LOT OF IT BEING STUFF I HAVENT EXPLAINED... NOR AM I SURE IF I SHOULD JUST YET...

But in terms of what the HELL the timeline is here... I kinda sorta put things in order! 'Cept for the video aaughjvnvjfjcjxn...

I'm not exactly sure how to explain anything without having to explain like... huge chunks of backstory.. BUT !!! I'll explain things in the most banal way possible

Pricko pulls TRAGIC pathetic lesbian move #7 by having a dinner date with a girl who's already taken. Pricko gets over it at some point and just becomes friends with said girl and her boyfriend. Pricko uuhhhhhh ummmmm uhh ujmmmmm ummmmmmmmmm uuhhhhh then hhuuhhhmnnmnnn and after that they guuuuuuhhhhh ummmmmmm hmmmm uhhhh which is SO CRAZY because right after that uhjhhhhhhh ummmmmmmmmmmmmjvnbvn, you know? Then like 3 years later they're with Nene and they're both very very happy !! Yay!!

(There's seriously SO god damned much missing from here and no hard feelings for being INSANELY confused aaaaa I think my next goal might be to finally tell you guys like.. all about Pricko's lore! But before then I still have to design their whole famillyyy's uughhjg </3 !!)

BUT ASIDE FROM ALL OF THAT!! I made pricko a little fnf sprite.. thing!! Wow!! In all seriousness, i think it came out great! They're so silly fr! AND AAAAANNNDDD I made one of those relationship chart things aaaaa AND I KNOW IT SAYS IN IMAGE ITSELF BUT CREDITS TO PHANTOMCHERRY3K_ ON TWITTER (WHICH IS WHERE I GOT THE IMAGE FROM AAUGJJHA) and again, I know it's probably so confusing right now but guys I SWEAR it'll make so much sense in the near future

⚠️RAUGHHG video context here⚠️

(You're gonna need it.)

‼️SLIGHT.. JUMPSCARE(??) WARNING IN THE MIDDLE?? I DONT KNOW WHY I HAVENT GOTTEN RID OF THAT PART SORRYYYY

AGAIN (SORRYYY) I can't really say much yet. BUT! I'm pretty sure I labeled everyone? I know for sure I labeled Pricko. BUT STILL!! Just for peace of mind, I'm gonna explain who's who! All the characters involved are literally just the Pico gang (plus pricko... grrgh..) but as of right now, Pricko and Darnell specifically! Main character/person waking up at the start is Pricko! Darnell is the person who's already up sitting on the bed ^_^ !! Nene and Pico are both sleeping throughout this whole thing (for now >_<)!! I'm pretty sure if I took the time to sketch out everyone's hair, you'd be able to tell who's who just fine, but for some reason I didn't!! Shame on me. Anyway! This takes place... late sophomore year? Late-mid sophomore year? Somethin' like that! So everyone is around 15-16! Like I said, I'm not gonna say much like.. plot wise(??), but just for clarityyyy everyone's a sleepover sharing the same big ass bed! Uuhh It's midnight! Uhhhhhhhhh I'm pretty sure I labeled every object too..?? I'm not exactly sure what to even say at this point, but in case you're like.. wondering? Darnell's up playing with a lighter ^_^ lowkey random place to put this, but I gave him (chronic) insomnia because.. yeah!!! ANYWAYS It's 3 am and I'm SO tired so I might fix this when I'm awake instead

[butterflywordsmith]

Thinking again about the Dragon!Batman AU and okay okay:

Batman's no kill rule because I was thinking about how we all kinda kekeke about the headcanon (sorta, depends which version) that he dropped out of college (med school specifically) and the dragon!au has been my favorite vehicle for exploring this part of Bruce’s character.

And his dad was a doctor- specifically a surgeon. Their whole deal is saving lives. Like the entire purpose of entering the medical field is to try to save lives.

So if they horde people and they specifically view this through the lense of overall health and preservation of life then like .. of course he's gonna try not to kill rogues? Of course he's even going to save them- yes, even the nastiest ones. Of course he's going to take the mentally unstable ones to the psych ward? (I work at a hospital -level 1 trauma- and we see anyone and everyone. People get transferred from other faciltiies to our medical center and we see crazy shit all the time- including gunshot/stabbing victims, inmates, suspects, victims and perps having to come to the same hospital, psychotic episodes etc etc)

Like I'm just thinking about little Bruce losing both of his parents and wanting to honor them through his fight for justice and against corruption in Gotham but like.... again, his dad was a doctor. And what if in trying to reconcile Thomas Wayne's hording of patients with his own crime fighting, Bruce is expanding this to the whole of Gotham but it's his own vigilante version of the Hippocractic oath? Tough love as it is for him to use his fists in this endeavor, what if he does see himself as a "physician" of justice for the city within the context of his Dragon hording Gothamites? Perhaps as a continuation of Thomas Wayne's mission and vision for the city.

Actually..... yeah! I think the way he might try to investigate cases is the diagnostic aspect and then so much of Bruce’s methods are trying to be as efficient as possible, covering all his bases, ruling out what he can, trying to be preventative to the point of paranoia, being angry when people dont listen in a way he feels puts them at unnecessary risk of being hurt, his utility belt being the equivalent of your mom's purse which has everything from candy to bandaids, the way he tries to comfort people but especially kids in crisis situations, the way he can deliver bad news, treating Batmanning like his fulltime job, ruminating on people he couldn't save and mind going over all the ways in which he could've caught something sooner, the very detailed notes he keeps on people etc .... in another life where he doesn't lose Thomas and Martha so traumatically, Bruce absolutely would've been a doctor.

He's not nearly as abarasive as Doctor House but its a close thing with how much he annoys people around him with knowing so much and being unapologetic about that. I actually feel like Bruce is what would happen if you fused Sherlock and Watson together steven universe style lmfao.

Tagging you again @frownyalfred since I encountered the og concept on your blog asks! 💖

[ghoulfr13nd]

hihihi! it's playlist anon again if u remember me! i'm currently lost in the sauce (aka your playlists fhjsda) and because of that i forgor to reply i just went straight to listening! fgasdhjk wanted to let you know I'm having a good time! i love listening to new music while drawing and ur playlists are perfect for it! vibing with the march one rn! (also i laughed because i saw Autoheart on there and Lent had been one of the songs i had thought about recommending to you fgsdj) (also i'm so jelous of u being on metric concert it looked so cool! ;v; ) and glad you liked songs i suggested! especially Jagwar Twin, I discovered him failry recently but I'm already obsessed :D and you know, i'd love to share my playlist but- they all are called a letter of an alphabet 😭 for example, songs i told u about were on my "I" playlist fgsdk i'm always impressed with people that can come up with clever/funny playlist names, or even names for the vibes playlist goes for fgasdj i'm more of a Character-specific Playlist Maker outside of that i'm "i feel like letter E tonight" person fgsdjk but! ive been wondering, is there any genre(s) that you're not a fan of? i can listen to mostly any genre but i know that's not the case for everybody gfsdk

hi sorry life’s been crazy and i’ve been waiting until i have enough brain power to reply 😔 but uhhh “if u remember me” tsk. clicked my tongue irl at this. of course i remember you. what a silly thing to say.

I love Autoheart!! I also went to their concert last month. it was very good! most introverted crowd in history.

I don’t mind if your playlists aren’t made up the same as mine! No pressure ofc I understand if you don’t want to (you’re on anon, afterall) but I think that’s a very funny way to list your playlists and I’m down to learn the context for em! Do you only have as many playlists as there are letters? What do you do if you run out? Do you not have uhh. checks spotify —

— 121 playlists? Also don’t be self concious not all of them have fun names. I just go on vibes and sometimes the vibe is a keysmash because I can’t be bothered to give it an actual name.

I like most genres, though! I don’t listen to really hard metal and I don’t really listen to much rap, but that’s not really a consistent rule so much as. I just go on vibes and usually those aren’t the vibe. I also have a few oc playlists but my ocs dont really have any content and just exist in my head so. yknow. shrug. anyway.

what about you, anon? what are your genre preferences?

[felikatze]

Just wanted to say thank you so much for all the brainworms you have been giving me and my friends for the past few hours about Ayin and all the analyses you've been doing about him.

I have been losing my mind in the middle of the night thinking about all the things you've said, turning it over like crazy and trying to compare it with the gameplay I've had of Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina.

Please do more analysis and share more of your ideas! Please? Please, with cherry on top? Please, I beg of you?

Especially if you have in-depth ideas of analyses for the Sephirah and how it relates to both their own characters and Ayin and Angela.

I thank you greatly in advance!

the implication that i've infected an entire friend group with my brainworms is power that will 100% go to my head i feel amazing. what else is analysis posting except trying to inflict people with the same thoughts bouncing around your skull on repeat

i DO have shit on the sephirah but mostly netzach, because i love netzach, and i in fact found my discord ramble about him (and chesed)

i dont have things on how they relate to A and Angela specifically because I mainly kept thinking abt Reverbaration Ensemble parallels... i have so many thoughs abt Netzach and Bremen.

(but if you want me to talk about, say, a specific core supression, or floor realization... i have a lot of thoughts on floor realizations.)

First off I am so sorry that you seem to think I'm smart because that means i have the perfect opportunity to inflict you with this

okay now we can get to the serious stuff

[transcript:

containment breach:

quick ramble abt lor again but i love the ensemble receptions so much. i'm at chesed's rn, and i know he's been chill the entire game, but him just refusing to comment on jae-hoon's tragedy seems, out of context, a dick move, but also is so important for chesed to do? he recognizes that another's suffering is not related to him, that he can't do anything about it, and that this is fine. The closest i'd describe chesed in lobcorp would be "activist burnout." Due to betraying the lab from garion's pressure, chesed was so consumed by guilt, he just blamed himself for everything and became more callous because it's already his fault, right? There's nothing he can do. But in lor, he knows what his responsibilities are, and allows himself joy where he can find it. I love the ensemble receptions bcuz they are just examplary of each patron libriarian's growth and i iqbfjc (sobs)

GOD this sure is a paragraph

also have to salute netzach for carrying his scene all by himself as the musicians of bremen just (animal noises) :pray:

ykno being online i realize that i'm not quiet at all i am a complete and utter chatterbox /end]

[transcript:

containment breach:

thinking abt netzach's scene where he doesn't talk to bremen, because he can't, but recognizes this who has not only lost themself in their own art but also their own suffering

i just i love netzach so much his entire character arc is abt learning to live with depression and learning to want to live again

so he becomes unable to understand, really, why someone would sacrifice themselves for their own art

when he started out just, similar yet different from bremen, completely submerged in his own misery

musicians of bremen reminds me i still have bremen bon bons at home i should eat those. they r tasty /end]

i wanna specifically dig into this scene more because i love that scene, a lot.

Art as we get to know it in the City is irrevocably tied to violence. Puppets are made of human bodies, music is played on bones and sinews. To the artists of the City, to create art is to make someone suffer. Rewatching Netzach's story bits, Roland describes it as doing nothing but seeking stimulation and being provocative.

Furthermore, there is a direct comparison between art and alcohol. To paraphrase more, the Pianist must've been one hell of a stimulant, like getting hit by a strong booze. A performance some are still hungover from.

Netzach's main struggle was addiction because of depression, and his growing appreciation for art is a continuation of that arc. He says himself that art and alcohol are linked.

However, alcohol is a step down from hard drugs. Netzach hasn't quit, but just that step down shows he learned moderation, which makes me very proud of him.

Moderation is what the other.. let's just call them artists, lack. I said in the screencaps above, initially, Netzach was lost in his own suffering, and the musicians of bremen are lost in their art. And if art is seen as equal to suffering, that just means Netzach and Bremen are more similar than expected. (Especially considering what we see of the musicians previously; they’re always trying to chase the same high they experienced listening to the Pianist by any means necessary. The addiction parallels are not suprising.)

I rewatched most of Netzach's lor scenes, and what rlly gets me is that in his first one, he seems almost the exact same as in lobcorp. He doesn't want to work, he got dragged into this against his will, he feels as if his accomplishments are futile.

But! He eventually invites Roland for drinks. He's not drinking to forget alone anymore, he's doing it as social activity. Furthermore, the more time he spends as Patron Librarian of Arts, the more he grows to appreciate art. Art is tied to suffering, still, but it is an expression of suffering. It does not produce any. Or should not, in any case. He sure wishes it wouldn’t.

So we arrive at his Ensemble Reception. This one makes a rather interesting comparison: art as the pursuit of the light. Let me elaborate.

To quote, “Honestly, I wanna tell people to stop doing the kind of art that requires ‘em to immolate themselves and others. Although, on the other hand... I can kinda see where they’re coming from. Art narrows your vision, after all.

You stop caring about the things around you. That’s how most artists seem to act, I think. And so, you indulge in the craft, not realizing that you’re throwing yourself and your surroundings into the fire you started.”

I pose this: Netzach speaks of his experience as Giovanni. Giovanni was a researcher who, when push came to shove, willingly sacrificed himself to advance the project, in hopes of seeing the light, seeing Carmen, again.

Though he dislikes Bremen’s actions, he does not judge them for it, because he recognized that it would be hypocritical. Even so, what shows that he’s grown is that he.. doesn’t want to see people harm themselves anymore. The focus here isn’t if Bremen hurt other people, which they have, but how much of themselves they’ve given up for their performance. He condemns the act, and not the people.

“If I can see that light once more... If I have to muster up the courage to reach it, I’ll gladly do it. It’s easier said than done, though; you need a lot of fearlessness for it.

And I guess you saw the same kind of light I was so desperate to see, yeah? Even if yours was a twisted creature... [...] Though, I don’t think I can tell you off like the others. At least I can see the reason behind it.”

He even explicitly mentions the light. The funny thing is, both Giovanni and Bremen tried to reach the Seed of Light, and Carmen. It’s tragically hilarious that we know Carmen is the voice the Distortions hear.

Hell, the more I think about it, the more you can just compare the Ensemble as a whole to the Outskirts Lab crew, down to Angelica’s puppet body and Carmen’s desecrated corpse.

“And I know pretty well that we have no right to devilishly pick apart each other’s way of art. I’m not very proud of mine, really...”

Netzach just.. gets it. I can’t remember atm, but I don’t think the other Patron Librarians really draw parallels like that. I’m seeing all the parallels now and I can’t unsee them ever. Bro.

His “art,” his way of protecting the light, is still violent. But he sees that perhaps it didn’t have to be, or rather shouldn’t be. I fucking love Netzach so much. His arc just means a lot to me personally, and I’d wager a lot of people who’ve struggled with mental illness would agree.

I’m not gonna get into Netzach’s floor realization here because this post is already long enough, but like, look at the specific flashback of Angela shown in Netzach’s story bits and contrast it to his arc of learning to want to live, and. Yeah.

[galacticlamps]

that episode was such fun! the sontarans were great, I honestly don’t know if they’ve ever been so captivating to watch before. my other spoiler-free thought is Damn i can’t wait to see some crazy-skilled cosplayers recreate those villains’ costumes, i know we had pics of them before now but still, the whole time watching them i was just thinking about how fantastic they looked

yaz not freaking out too much and yet having to ask ‘promise?’ while she was disappearing broke my heart. which was good because the next bit of her literally having written wwtdd on her hand was well intentioned but pretty stupid. i get it had to be something specific and physical for the full creepiness of mr swarm knowing about it to hit home (versus it being some kind of inference anyone could’ve guessed about yaz trying to emulate her more generally) but still, it struck me as so dumb i’d actually like an explanation for it at some point - why’d she have that on her hand today? she can’t always walk around like that, can she? but other than that everything with yaz this ep was great so can’t complain.

dan is so dumb i love it. no i dont mean the tempura line either. i mean him telling his parents it’s okay he’ll go deal with the sontarans bc he has experience with aliens now. dude you might’ve known aliens existed a day ahead of everyone else but that’s because you got kidnapped and locked in a cage and keep getting teleported places. i don’t think you exactly had much in the way of useful experience by the time you made that claim, but you’ve got a bit more by the end of the episode, at least. and you seem to be becoming a proper companion now, you made the choice to go when you could’ve stayed home this time, anyway.

i also liked dan’s parents! i know a lot of their lines were kinda eyerollish parents-being-parents type things to say but i also believed his mother about the sontarans coming to liverpool first, and i like the idea of the place itself being important to this plotline for some reason, im interested to see where all that goes

god help the tardis tho my girl does not deserve this. im still not sure if dan’s slated to stick around post-flux but i wonder what it would do to a companion’s understanding of the whole doctor/tardis/time travel situation for their first impression to be the tardis being this uniquely fucked up.

i think the ep itself struck a good balance between stand alone and part of the arc, which i was happy about - i really enjoyed everything that happened in the historical storyline, so i wouldnt mind if any of it comes up again later but it’s also nice to feel like you’ve absorbed a full story start to finish by the end of an episode, and i do feel that way tonight so that’s good. the trailer for the next ep was super short, and without much identifiable except a menagerie of characters/villains it’s hard to say if it’ll be similar to this week’s in that regard or go back to focusing on developing flux-centric stuff - maybe there’s a pattern of alternating episodes spending more time on self contained plots vs the big picture? or maybe there is a way all those seemingly unrelated things could be sewn up in one smaller story, afterall we are on the planet Time, and presumably in a different universe/dimension/something at least equally weird. I guess there are some simpler contexts that could account for everything in the trailer though - like god complex or even the death zone - but then again, if we are in an altered reality, i suppose even something like the environments in celestial toymaker/mind robber/deadly assassin is also on the table. maybe that’s why thirteen’s coat’s reversed, maybe it’s to indicate the difference between the real dr and an avatar of her.

i think the thing that surprised me most in this one was the muttonchop man yaz first ran into at the temple. he also showed up early on in the first ep but that one was so busy it didn’t feel strange, whereas here he definitely feels like the most unrelated thing to show up in the episode. and being at the beginning of both without ever reappearing, i feel like he’s meant to be seeded in and forgotten about, so hopefully that goes somewhere interesting. obviously thirteen’s vision of that nightmare house at the start was very weird too, but in the context it seemed less strange - it was way too big to resemble wherever diane got sucked into right? idk i feel like it’s a future thing not a past thing but who knows. unless its being in black and white was supposed to have ruth/pre hartnell vibes but im probably over analyzing now

also honorable mention to the triangles at the temple, who were kind enough to call themselves triangles. i do love a service bot with a bit of personality

[dysfunctionaltrolls]

i feel bad for making this but i feel like i have to

baby’s first call out post

anyway,, i have some things id like to say. i have proof of all of this and it will all be under the cut. this is gonna be really long and im really sorry but its going to be the whole story so stick with me

content warning: being weird towards minors, general nsfw elements, general creepiness, weed (mentions of being high).

everyone involved except for myself and, obviously, them, will have their names blocked out for privacy reasons.

thank you for reading this in advance, i just really need to get this out.

the blog in question is @ask-crappy-fantrolls

in advance

please do not send this person hate. please. i dont care whos wrong or right, hate anons arent necessary.

lets get down to business

point one of ??: ships

im going to say right off the bat, i agreed to some of these. some of these i liked. a lot i agreed to because i was afraid to say no because i didnt want to upset them. some were forced on me. some were made without my knowledge. i will not go into specifics on which ships belong in which categories unless its necessary because this post would be extremely long, but please keep this in mind if you see me reacting positively in screenshots.

this screenshot shows me trying to break off all of our ships the first time. i say right down there at the bottom that i want all of them gone. i thought i was being pretty clear.

one of my trolls (kaivin) has a moirail to whom he is extremely attached. this isnt a secret. he is so attached, in fact, that the two share most quads. so anyone kaivin would get into a relationship with, his moirail would as well. ive posted about this many times and i believe its on his bio but dont quote me on that.

this is me trying to cut the ship off again. i really hate being mean and hurting peoples feelings so i was trying stay polite and let them know gently that hey, i dont want this. keep in mind, this took place after me attempting to cut all of our ships off.

i could put more here but im tired and itd make the post longer than it needs to be. bottom line, i got messaged about ships a lot even though i had cut them all off and literally started shipping with other people by that point. it wasnt a secret, i was posting about new ships.

small tidbit thats very nsfw: one of our ships that we had was purely for their kink, apparently.

for context: axel is my human disguised as a troll who lives on alternia.

literally if you look at cimefas bio, his whole character is just that hes kinky. thats it.

point two of ??: infantalizing me

if you dont know already; hi im joey, im 19, and im a trans man. i am an adult. a grown ass man, if you will. i do not tolerate being spoken to like a dog or a child.

with that being said, here i am being spoken to like someone would a dog or a child:

oh also theres the time they sent me an ask calling me a lesbian HDSFJKSDHF

heres that

i know it was them because they messaged me the same day, claiming not to have known, but we’d already been talking for months and i never went by she/her while having this blog. he/him is all over my blog.

anyway heres a tidbit thats not big enough for its own point but needs to be said: the flirting.

^i just wanted to show them my new shirt :/

anyway next

point three of ??: being weird with minors

okay this bit is very gross but stay with me

right there, no minors. clearly stated. thats fine! thats whatever!! heres what i have the issue with. theyre currently waiting for a few of my friends who are minors to turn 18. no, this is not a speculation. they stated this.

i am keeping minors names blocked out, they dont need to be involved in this.

(quad blocked out so the minor cant be pinpointed)

(different minor, quad blocked again)

(the minor in question is the one from the first two screenshots about “waiting for them to turn 18″)

for context, this was after i reblogged a post about people waiting for minors to turn 18 being gross. yes it was a vague, no i do not care. i didnt say anything to them, they came to me about this unprompted and on their own accord. if the shoe fits, i suppose.

point four of ??: copying

theres been a few instances of this, but heres the main one

i run a cool blog over at @broadcastappear​. i got with a friend of mine and they made theirs one day, i made mine the next. of course, i was excited about this! i wanted to tell everyone about my cool new blog, so i started messaging people! them included!

before i get into the screenshots, here is the premise of both of our broadcast blogs:

slightly odd radio host trolls who talk to each other over the radio waves. my friends troll for their blog is crazy and stuck in the desert, mine is slightly less crazy and stuck in an apartment. shenanigans and extremely cryptic flirting ensue.

so i messaged them with a link to my blog after i made it.

take a closer look at that time stamp! 

keep this in mind

i get sent a link

its a cryptic radio blog. same concept, formatting, plot, everything.

and would you look at that

same day. it was an hour later, actually.

they were confronted about this and denied that their blog had anything to do with ours, even though it was a clear rip off. their blog has since been deleted, i believe. 

anyway, in conclusion, i just really wanted this off my chest.

do with this information what you will. i dont care if i get hate for this, the people who know my situation know how badly this has been on me mentally. ive been archiving things in a server for months while ive been trying to cut them off and im just... fed up. i cant do it anymore. i feel gross. i am the main hub that this is circling around and no one can say thing about it but me. theres a lot more to this that im not adding, mostly because theres less proof but i still know it to be true.

im tired of adults being weird and nasty in this community. i know im an adult too but at least im not gross.

anyway, call out post over. rb or smthn i dont care.

[beesmygod]

netflix’s new horror movie “bird box” sucks ass and not in a funny, enjoyable way: a review

first im going to preface this review with this: im sick. i caught a cold on the way home from reno and spent the day recovering watching this garbage instead of doing anything that required a working brain. i knew i wasn’t going to get anything mind-blowing but “bird box” teeters heavily on “insultingly bad” instead of just “bad” and it kept me mad about having wasted two hours of my life for a solid 24 hours straight.

so if this review doesn’t make sense, its partly because im sick, and partly bc this movie doesn’t make sense. this review is also impossible to structure because i dont even know where to begin. maybe here: the directing is derivative, boring and bad. its like watching paint dry. the whole movie looks like your grandma’s house smells.

to re-iterate: this movie is 2 hours long. i’ll save you 2 hours by telling you that you never see the monster, ever. sandra bullock admitted to laughing out loud repeatedly on set at the monster when it was revealed to her which lead to it being cut from the movie. if we had seen the monster, maybe the movie would have been bumped up from a d- to a c+ just because the mental image of a long green baby with john malkovich’s voice is pretty funny.

the bird box, probably

for a movie about a monster, this movie has a serious monster problem. in that the monster is not a problem. the monster (which is never given a name in the movie) can’t seem to actually do anything to you if you don’t look at it. its only power seems to be making you kill yourself when you see it (unless you’re crazy which, thats a whole other kettle of fish. give me a minute). so if you don’t look at it you’re fine? there’s several points in the movie where the monster is physically close to them but doesn’t actually do anything except beg them to take off their blindfolds and look at them. its almost pathetic. as far as i can tell, the monster’s only powers are to make leaves fly upward for no reason (i.e. to indicate its in the area without the camera having to focus on anything specific) and yell at you. but, like, as long as you don’t take off your blindfold (and somehow, people do in this movie) then you’re probably fine.

now, if you’re “crazy” (I KNOW YOU’RE ALREADY ASKING QUESTIONS HOLD ON) then looking at the monster turns you into a stereotypical evangelist for an eldritch horror. you run around saying “crazy” things that read like enemy npc chatter in ps2 era survival horror game. for example:

then, you spend all your time trying to get people to look at it by holding their eyes open. “bird box” does not bother to explain what “crazy” means in this context. according the the story, roving gangs of tokyo-drifting escaped asylum patients rule the post-apocalyptic landscape of the pacific northwest. its impossible to tackle how many layers of like morally wrong it is to yet again shove the mentally ill into the role of antagonists  (im getting exhausted just thinking about piling up all the reasons this is so fucking bad) to the point of making them a fucking enemy class. its almost more succinct just to point out that “bird box” thinks mental illness is an on/off switch you toggle rather than a spectrum. i know this movie is a relic of the past (dec 2018) but i feel like this is such a basic fact about the world as we know it today that the decision to ignore it makes me wonder if the writer was operating under the assumption that horror monster “rules” need to be clearly defined as though they were conceived for use in a videogame.

if_crazy=“yes”,  then bird=box 

speaking of the titular “bird box”: the movie is called that because they literally keep birds. in a box. the birds tell you when the monster is coming, so you can put on your blindfold. but heres the thing: the monster makes GGGGRRRRRROOORRORORO sounds nonstop when its running around in the area. you know when it’s coming. you can hear it coming from a mile away. so there’s really no point in having, a bird box. at one point the monster is so loud they can’t hear the birds over its roaring. whats the point of the birds? as it turns out, the birdbox, is useless. much lIKE THIS MOVI

this movie is a never ending cascade of cliches and stolen plot points, characters, ideas. it steals from “the happening” (blatantly, its the same movie right down to the ugly color scheme of every frame), “dawn of the dead”, “pontypool”, “the mist” and pretty much every post-apocalyptic monster movie ever. bd wong is confirmed as a gay man literally 2 minutes before he dies on screen. the black comedic lead dies next. a pregnant woman is introduced and you’ll NEVER guess what happens to her. you could set your watch to this movie. its pathetic. 

welp, he’s dead

i’m going to link this guy’s deconstruction of the weird incestual overtones that are also impossible to miss and interpret without wanting to die. 

im getting exhausted again. this movie is not fun bad. this post is to serve as a warning to the curious. in fact, im going to spoil the end for you, so you truly understand why i’m so fucking mad. i want you, right now, to imagine based on what i’ve told you what the most hackney, cliche, stupid, moronic ending twist could be to this movie about a monster you can’t look at. fully form it in you head. dare to imagine the dumbest thing you can.

ready?

YOU SEE

[azarathedragon]

Mild spoilers. Nothing is really stated, but its enough to clue in to stuff that happens in the main story.

Nothing has emotionally destroyed me more this year then Red Dead Redemption 2. And for me, thats saying something, because i uh....dont usually cry during a video game. I cant actually bring to mind another game that had me that upset over a character. Books, yea. Tv shows, yea. But a video game. Make me sad, sure, but actually cry, nope.

And i loved the game to bits, enough so that it actually got my ass in gear to play and attempt to finish the first game. My only gripe would have been some of the choices made with horses.

First being that the best horses are locked behind the epilogue, where theres maybe a dozen hours worth of content. Maybe more if you didnt do some stuff as Arthur. It doesnt make sense that the character you spend the most time with, only has access to lower tier horses, barring the black arabian and gold turk (which i find ugly as shit by the why. Sadie's turk was a far prettier color.)

The unique horses like the black shire or Buell. If you sell either, or it gets killed, they are gone for good. There is no getting that specific coat color back. And that is dumb as shit my friends. As a side note, we shoulda been able to get Buell earlier on. You basically get that stubborn bastard when theres only a few hours of gameplay left (story wise anyway. If you spend fifteen hours just dicking around, all the more power to ya. Lord knows i did because the game ending was spoiled for me within the first week of its release. Thanks youtube. Thanks.)

Second. All horses should have been able to be found wild or stable bought. Just decrease spawn chance for the real nice ones like the Arabians and Turks. Horse herds were depressing to look at after a while, when you realize the three fastest wild breeds only have two wild coat colors. Nokota, Thoroughbred, snd the Anerican Standards. Two colors. And you find herds with 4 to 6 of one of the afformentioned breeds in it. Two colors. Its just...sad to look at. And its not like Rockstar was short on coat colors snd patterns. Also. Fuck them for patching the St. Denis spawn glitch. I found an alternative as john and got that pretty rose grey arabian. For free. And i think i found an alternative as arthur. But my lips are sealed, because frankly, its bullshit i cant steal a real nice horse. Were outlaws, lemme steal the nice horses you bastards.

Coats and their patterns. The only ALL black horse is a American Standardbred. They are an average horse. Ok speed, and ok health and stamina. And i will say it again. Rockstar was not short on coat colors and patterns. There are so many colors for the Kentucky Saddlers, Tennessee Walkers, and Morgans. So fuckin many. A lot of these could have been copied or split into other breeds. Or pull the Nintendo BotW method where there is a dozen base colors, that then have additional patterns thrown over top. Because i really want an all black horse that has good stats. (And unless im crazy, im pretty sure the initial launch of the game there were no all black horses? The standardbred used to have like...a snip on its face. Mandela effect probably. There are a handful of black horses they all start to blur together after a while)

The horse types like War and Work should have meant more than more health over stamina or vice versa. War horses shouldnt balk at gunfire, its what it was bred and raised for. Work horses shouldnt have felt the stamina drain from carrying pelts, it was born and raised to do intensive work. Wild horses should have handled threatening wildlife (snakes, cougars, bears, alligators) better than stable horses. Stable horses spook easier at said creatures, but handle towns and nearby trains better. Yes, you read that right, trains. Horses dont like loud things, and trains to them, are downright terrifying. It takes years of consistent exposure for a horse to calm down around such things. (My family had horses, and we lived near John Trovolta. The dude has a private jet. Taking off in practically our back yard. The horses freaked about it at first, but after a while began to realize the giant screaming metal demon bird isn't here to harm them. They still dont like it, but they dont freak out as easily to it either.)

Im still not sure as to what Handling meant. Does it turn faster? Different animations? Game devs love putting shit in, and then not tell us what it means. Like that "wild horses will keep some wild tendencies." That means nothing to me. Absolutely nothing. Tendencies could be anything, literally anything. Maybe this horse really, really likes chewing on its butt. Maybe it has a biting problem. The word means nothing if we arent given context on what it means.

Volume slider for the horses please. My god. Both of my parents are hard of hearing, and while my dad has no interest in the game other than "oh what gun is that? A wincester?". My mom did on the other hand. So she turns the volume up a little to hear characters better, but then we have to turn it back down, because the horses are overly loud at times. (And yes captions are on, but we still like hearing the voice behind those words. Pretty sure the tv speakers are going anyway, but there are other audio issues with the game at times that are unrelated to a shit tv). Audio option are important. And we are stuck with only three sliders. Master, score, and dialogue. You dont want to listen to a horse grunting, overpowering whatver it was that character said? Too bad. You dont get to decide that. Really hope the pc release adds a few more sliders to make it bearable.

[smellycinnamonthundahfudge]

tumblr fweinds

a year ago, i was tagged by @suplosers on two questionnaires and it is only now, a year later that i was able to answer em. i’m so sorry it took me this long but yah i’m just glad to get thru dis milestone, answering the first tumblr get to know ya post i was @ at... yaayyy ^^

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

I tag: tbd haha i still have to dig thru meh notifs to see which ones apparently took an interest in me so i’d like to take an interest in as well haha but oh @you-guys--are-losers, ur doing this whahaha hope it’s not too much of a bother, no presh watsoever ;3

the last

1. drink: ughh it's dis shitty stuff called hydrite w/c is basically salt water cus im sick rn and it's supposed to rehydrate ur shts or something hahaha

but dat was like a week ago... as of da moment i posted dis, it’s coffee from mini stop dat i drank at like 530 in da morn while i waited until i could enter the school cus i had to commute 3 hours w/ lil to none sleep

2. phone call: my father or one of my best friends

3. text message: the last one i texted was my sister and the last one i got a text from was dis org in school about the location for recruitment/auditions/interview

4. song you listened to: billy jean by michael jackson and i listened to it for meh tomdaya fic hahaha. But i also listened to halo by beyonce, untouchable and dress by taylor swift, and some other songs magmt mentions in her tomdaya fic hehe a week ago

rn, a metal cover of toxic by our last night

5. time you cried: haha i don't actually remember the context of it (i could find out tho haha cus i sent da pic to my best friend) but i took a pic of it while i did it which was on... july 16 hahaha. Oh but w8 oh sht i think i cried after that fudge w8 i don't remember the date (i think i can find this out too hahaha) but i wrote a sortof goodbye confessions letter to one of my dear friends and i wrote there that i externally cried (b4 i just said internally haha) so i'm not entirely sure i cried but i think im pretty sure i teared up hehe

6. dated someone twice: hahaha i haven't even had a legit love interest yet 😆😂 buuutt my best friend and i have "dated" as in spent entire days together w/ just the two of us, we even went to mcdonalds for valentine's day and got each other gifts hihihi aahhh gosh i miss her :'(

7. kissed someone and regretted it: haha im not even sure if dis happened and i have no plans on asking her about it but i remember when i was a kiddo, when my sis came home for some reason i kissed her on the lips hahaha dont remember if accidental or i just brain farted heck i aint even sure if it happened but das all i can answer cus well like i said, see #6 😆😂😆😂

8. been cheated on: hhmmm probs not, i have no idea if ive been cheated on in an unromantic way hahaha but in da romantic way, like i said, no love interest hahaha

Oh w8 does being someone's crush (i aint sure but it seemed like it) and crushing on dat dude but dat dude crushing on someone else too count as cheating? 😆😂😆😂

9. lost someone special: yes, all of my grandparents are dead. I've also lost pets, and i fear i may lose some of my friends due to the distance among us in this time of our lives

10. been depressed: i always wanna be careful over how to define depression. Like wat constitutes it... but yes, i think i have. Not sure, mind you, but yes, at the beginning of gr 7 i was really alone, i think i was bullied and i think i was depressed and going thru a really dark phase of my life back then. But then again, i have to say, i'm not sure.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: hahaha nope. I'm looking forward to getting drunk tho. Im currently underage so im not allowed to drink dat much yet but yeah i wanna know my limits hehehe i hope im da kinda gurl who can handle her liquor but i have drank and i have to say it made me all loopy and weird and just like woke or high or something hahaha so yeah man im excited to get trashed on my 18th bday hahaha (hopefully i get to do this tho huhuhu)

3 favourite colours

12. Pink

13. Blue

14. Gray

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yyeeesssss and i'm so glad i have hihi. I have made friends w/ a select group of my blockmates and they're awesome and weird, i hope to strengthen our bond in da future hehe. Ooohhh and i sure hope that you guys are losers is my friend cus she's been rlly great :')

16. fallen out of love: i guess the closest i've come to falling out of love in a romantic way is moving on from da heavy crushin on meh crush. But i dunno, i still think he's a unicorn n pretty special to me so i dunno hahaha.

But bro, i do think i have fallen out of love. With tv shows, with characters. Like i used to be so passionate about a few shows and characters but now all i have towards them is regret heck i cant even remember wat dey are but i know dat der was love lost. I know it.

17. laughed until you cried: hahaha yaasss i think so. It's either when i was with my best dearest friends or during the class of dis really cool and funny as heck joker teacher who makes us laugh in EVERY SINGLE CLASS hahaha ahhh das guy's so cool

18. found out someone was talking about you: oohh yah yah i think so. Either from my best friends or from a few of my old classmates i care about and had gotten close with. Da best friend ones was about something in my past/history (g7) and the classmates one i think was just dem talking about me and they told me about it ooohhh i think it was my crush hahahaha. They told me dat my crush actually admired me a lot hehe. There was one time my friend (the one who told me about dis) was putting make up on me for a school film, and my crush was da cam guy and he told my friend i looked pretty. Sooo im pretty lucky dat- oh sht w8 i dunno if it's dis year but oh w8 no, it was on my bday last year (dec 20) and da same friend said she was sorry cus apparently da bois make fun of me or something and she was sorry cus she laughed along too hahaha but i didnt mind cus i know im weird and i dont even know what dey say about me in da first place hahahaha. Ok das it im done, i think ive overshared now hahaha 😆😂😆😂

19. met someone who changed you: my best friends. Ive thought about it based on wat sup losers said about change for da better and i dont rlly think of change as something dat happens quick, i think it happens over time and u dont even notice it. So ok oh sht i think im wrong cus i met my best friends 4/6 years ago hahaha but for reals tho, i was in a dark place and if it werent for dem i think id still be lost lonely and sad. Uuhhmmm in regards to answering the question correctly, i guess my blockmates count since they inspire/challenge me to be better. OH SHT W8 i def think you guys are losers and dead end street and tomdaya receipts and tout de suite have changed me hehehe. Da first 2 in dat dey inspired me to write more hehe. Da 1st one inspired me to do this so i think this counts as change hehe. And da last 2 changed me in dat bcus i met dem, i became OBSESSED w/ tomdaya hahaha.

20. found out who your friends are: yes, i have actually. And it's all because i am now currently a college freshman as well as my friends.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: hahaha my fam i guess hahaha. But no one in a romantic context.

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: hhmmm i guess id say about 200 since i know 4 sections of around 40 ppl and da rest is like fam and ppl ive met once/twice or have passed by haha

23. do you have any pets: yaaaassss 3 doggos: albie, juju, and biggie girl. Juju has a pupper named tchalla called dat cus he black hehehe and biggie has 2 biglets named mermer (meredith) and crissy (cristina) cus they're sisters 😍😊😊

My fam have also had a buncha dogs n puppers before but they were either given away or passed away. My bro also has dis cat named bob and i think he counts as a semi pet since my bro's home is a fam home.

24. do you want to change your name: uuhhh i wish i had an alliterative name like superheroes. Buutt im pretty happy w/ my name :')

25. what did you do for your last birthday: oohhhh i think i was at my section's christmas party it was pretty nice n emotional and i spent da rest of da day w/ 2 of meh best friends who bought me cake n food when my own fam didn't 😆😂😆😂

26. what time did you wake up: 4 am to shit cus im sick, but fell asleep again and officially got up around 730 or 8ish

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: haha tryna stay awake cus i had to drink meh meds and failed oh so much and i think i was asleep by midnight hahaha

28. name something you can’t wait for: tomdaya content, chatting/being w/ my best friends, watching da stuff i wanna watch, tumblring, reading sht i wanna read, vacation, writing fanfics, learning how to do a buncha stuff (write screenplays, make films n gifs, draw better), my bday when i hopefully get to do wat i want haha, avengers 4 and smffh, and captain marvel and antman and the wasp too i guess haha oh and the incredibles 2 and httyd 3 😍😍😍 oohhh and crazy rich asians

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: on monday which was when i was at home and not at my dad's n sis' n i's apartment in manila for school/work

31. what are you listening to right now: commercials on da tv as i answer this long ass questionnaire hahaha

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: hahaha i had to think about dis one but yah i have actually haha he was my gr 8 class mate n i like to think semi friend back den at least haha. Oh w8 but he doesn't go by tom tho, it's just thomas haha

33. something that is getting on your nerves: myself hahaha my shitty lazy ass procrastinating self hahaha 😅🙍

34. most visited website: fb specifically messenger, youtube, and tumblr

35. hair colour: hmmm black w/ a bit of brown i guess (ASIAN, YO! 😆😂😆😂)

36. long or short hair: neither, medium i guess haha. I like how long hair looks but it's such a bother n hassle haha. So i def would prefer short hair on a practical standpoint hahaha (im actually thinking of shaving the hair above my nape, yknow on da back of my head hehe)

37. do you have a crush on someone: well i dont have dat much of a crush on da crush i mentioned before, like i said haha. I have a crush on tomdaya, does dat count? 😆😂

38. what do you like about yourself: hahahaha nothing 😆😂😆😂🙍

Naahh uhhh i guess i like how much i love tv shows, i love meh fangirl self, and i like how diff n unique n weird i am, how i stand out, n dat i think my dreams are noble n worth tryin out. N i like how supportive n nice i am n im just chill on da outside haha. N sometimes i like meh face hehe. And i think dat im hilarious n weird n ppl should appreciate me more hahaha das y i crave for more validation dan consulting researchers hahaha (no one laughs at dat jokes and it's like im da only one who finds it funny and come on, man, i managed to make a research joke. Cant ya give a girl a break?)

n i guess sometimes it's good how much i care but sometimes i wish my feels could just chill for just like a minute pls

Thanks, man. I usually just focus on meh bad qualities so thanks for dis question, man :')

oh and i like dat i can swim hehe

39. piercings: i have holes on my ears for earrings but i don't really wear dem

40. blood type: a, i think?

41. nickname: sam, sab, and i rlly want to be called smells cus it's like a more me version of mels from melody hahaha

42. relationship status: single, yo. Oh w8 but i am married to my bed and fandoms so dey always come first. Plus i love my friends 😍😊

43. zodiac: sagittarius i think but i dont rlly know/care about zodiac sht. Tho it's nice if it does match up hehe

44. pronouns: uhhh i dont know wat to put here but i assume dis refers to wat i wish to be referred by ssoooo she, her, and a genderless pronoun in my language siya

45. favourite tv show: ughh i cant choose. Friends, grey's anatomy, phineas and ferb, avatar: the last airbender, black mirror, doctor who, and all of michael schur's stuff, and modern family, grimm, person of interest, pushing daisies, scrubs, happy endings, forever, how i met your mother, gravity falls, sherlock, and yknow wat? Yah, supernatural too and the httyd shows and suits :') oooohhh w8 and how to get away w/ murder and i guess big bang theory as well 😃 the end of the fucking world, legends of tomorrow, crazy ex-girlfriend, the good place, timeless but it’s kinda depressing so speaking of w/c game of thrones and west world and a series of unfortunate events and stranger things and scorpion and lost in space and for anime, let’s go with yakitate japan and boku no hero academia

46. tattoos: none, but i rlly want one and even have a list of tattoos i want (pretty minimalist), i just have to think of da perf place tho (both where to put it and where to get it) and find out if i can still donate meh bod if i have tattoos, but one of da ones i rlly want is smileys on meh fingers hehe

47. right or left handed: right, but my ma says im kinda ambidextrous n i kinda wish i could develop it hehe

48. surgery: haha nope, never. But in terms of an interest, i love grey's anatomy 😆😂

50. sport: ooohh my main sport is swimming cus my siblings are all swimmers so i am too. But i have played other sports for school like badminton, table tennis, volleyball, some water game i dont remember haha, and a combat sport in my country called arnis

51. vacation: christmas vacay and i cant wait huhu

52. pair of trainers: uhhh are trainers rubber shoes? I have a couple, i guess.

GENERAL

53. eating: my dad (who cooked our meal), sis, and i ate afritada (chicken dat's tomatoey basically) for dinner

54. drinking: just water, but ugh i have to drink da hydrite sht again 😑😒

55. I’m about to: finish dis questionnaire n fall asleep haha

56. waiting for: sleep n happiness

57. want: to sleep n write n tumblr n watch n read n for all my problems to disappear

58. get married: yeahhh... but i think it's highly unlikely, man. So i aint counting on it but i do want it to happen, it seems nice having someone to spend da rest of your life with :')

59. career: hahaha i'm still just a college student, just a newly minted freshman actually. But i like to consider myself a fulltime fangirl hahaha

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: well, i havent rlly made out with anyone yet so im gonna have to say hugs i guess w/c ofc i love haha but i wish someone bigger than me could cuddle me for once in my life 😢

61. lips or eyes: lips cus they just seem so soft and sensual hehe. Plus i dunno man, eyes are kinda gross with muta (da sht in da corner of ur eyes when you wake up, it's a filipino word) and sht. And ya have to wear glasses/contacts if dey weak so it's just such a hassle. Tho i do recognize their importance n stuff 😊

62. shorter or taller: ugh TALLER. im a pretty tall gal so for once id like to be da lil spoon for once, for someone to be able to carry me and ya know all dat jazz. But i wouldnt give up my height for anything, makes me feel confident and better than everyone else mwuehehehehehehe

63. older or younger: uuuhhh for now i think it's a bit weird to date someone younger dan me, but for me personally, wat age i'd like to be, YOUNGER ALL DA WAY. it was just way less stressful and innocent back den, id give anything to go back 🙍

64. nice arms or nice stomach: haha nice arms if it means i can swing around them and they can carry me whahaha. But i do like em abs, i wanna feel wat abs feel like just once in my life hahaha

65. hookup or relationship: ooohhh i guess i fancy myself having a relationship for now hehe. Havent even had one yet haha.

66. troublemaker or hesitant: i am a hesitant troublemaker whahahahaha. Like i have all these ideas of thangs to do n sometimes i do dem but sometimes da situation n context scares me into not doing it like a wuss hahaha

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: haha nope.

68. drank hard liquor: haha nope but am looking forward to it hehe

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: thankfully i havent needed any yet whew

70. turned someone down: uhhh i guess the closest i came to "turning someone down" was being awkward around my crush haha but to be fair i think he was awkward too hahaha. And in an unromantic sense, i turned down a blockmate who offered to be my partner in an assignment becus i already had a partner hahahaha 😅

71. sex on the first date: haha havent experienced it if das wat ur askin. Maybe imma be dat kinda person after ive had a couple of relationships but for now i'll settle for someone actually being interested in me hahaha

73. had your heart broken: yes, by tv shows, and by da crappiness of life in general 🙇

74. been arrested: hahahaha nope but dat would be CRAZY hahaha

75. cried when someone died: yes, whether in real life or in tv shows, i have cried bcus of death 😢

76. fallen for a friend: look, man, my best friend's probably the most important person in my life who i couldnt bear to lose. I love her more dan anything in da world so i dunno if our friendship is something more dan da "typical" best friends i just know dat i love her n dat i dont wanna lose her n dat our bond's nothing like any other relationship ive ever had

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: hahahaha not rlly 😅 im pretty unreliable tbh and i make tons of mistakes and ill never be enough ever and just in general hate myself and have 0 self esteem hahaha 😅😅😅😓

But there's a chance i could improve tho, a very very VERY small tiny chance... but i guess i'll take wat i can get :/

78. miracles: hhmmm not in da way most ppl think about miracles in dat, it's da impossible event. I like to think it's a miracle that i have the family dat i have, da friends dat i have, and da life dat i have cus honestly i think i'd be dead w/o em. It's a fucking miracle i have things im passionate about and things that i love and im surrounded by ppl who i love and who love me as well. So yeah, i guess i believe in those kinds of miracles :')

79. love at first sight: hahaha not rlly. Look, man, im a fat girl who doesnt rlly care dat much about looks so unless a person manages to fall for someone while dat someone was doing something dat was a huge indicator of their personality and thus it's not only da appearance dat da person "fell in love w/", den i rlly dont believe in love at first sight. It's just infatuation, bruh. Love at first sight is cheap and u dont rlly know any thing about dat person other than the fact that they're pretty (why they caught ur eye in da 1st place imo) and nothin, zilch. Unless, like i said, they were doing something important to dem n indicative of deir personality. But even then, it wouldnt be love. Like i said, it'd be infatuation cus imo love is deep and takes time and cant just HAPPEN just cus u looked at someone and thought he/she was pretty 😒. True love would mean knowing dat person to deir bone but wanting to know more about dem. So to conclude a ted talk from a bitter person w/ a non existent love life 😆😂😂😂, love at first sight doesnt exist, is cheap, and is discriminatory to "ugly" ppl.

80. santa claus: hahaha i know he probs doesnt exist and is u know basically just capitalism n marketing hahaha. But i dunno, man, i kinda wanna believe he exists just cus it's more fun n childlike n innocent 😍

81. kiss on the first date: hahaha yeah i guess so but i think i probs would have had to known dat person for a while before we decided to date. I havent had a first kiss yet sooo i aint just willin to give dat out to someone i just met/knew for like a day or something hahaha (i have no idea how dating works) 😆😂😆😂😆😂

82. angels: huh... i like to think guardian angels exist cus dat means there are like angels of pure light sent down from heaven to protect us from any harm w/c is just nice to think about, yknow? Hehe. But angels in da catholic sense... i dont think i do, bruh. Sorry :/ *shrugs*

OTHER:

84. eye colour: uuhhhh brown, i guess? Like i said, i dont rlly care much for eyes hahaha 😅 ooohh but da purple eyes thang ive seen on da internet sounds cool hahaha

85. favourite movie: aaaahhhhh there's just so many good movies thoo

But agghh fine. Ive come to notice dat my genre's pretty lighthearted w/c is nice actually hehe

Spider-Man: Homecoming, Rogue One, 10 Things I Hate About You, Moana, Coco, Mulan, Avengers: Infinity War, White Chicks cus it's just so goddamn funny and iconic 😆😂😆😂😍, i'm not- ok you know wat, da Pixar movies in general ok? I mean, how can ya not? Oh which reminds me, Tangled, and The Princess and The Frog, oohh The Avengers is also a pretty solid movie, ooohhh Love, Simon, godhs dat was just such a wholesome sweet n nice movie :'), oh and den i freaking love the Scream franchise, man. It's so good :'), oooohhh w8 maybe The Dark Knight cus heath ledger was just da fuking bomb in dat movie, oohh and About Time's da sweetest time travel movie :') w/c reminds me dat the Back to the Future franchise was just such a classic, man :') oh and yknow wat? Unbreakable's actually pretty fucking cool, man. I get shyamalan know haha. Oh and yknow wat? 100 Tula Para Kay Stella is da 1st filipino film i actually liked so it has a special place in meh heart :')

ooohhh and Black Panther, man, gods how can one not bring up Da King™? WAKANDA FOREVER :') 😄

Oh and hey yknow wat? I have a sweet spot for the Sorcerer's Apprentice. It's kinda a guilty pleasure of mine hehe 😅

Whiicchh reminds me... the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON FRANCHISE HAS GOT MY HART WHIPPED 😭😭😭

Oh and i also rlly like when harry met sally hihi :') and i guess the OG Star Wars trilogy's got a special place in my heart even if it is da way dat it is now 😢 :')

oh and i can't forget meh guardians :') Guardians of The Galaxy is such a solid film, bro. I loved it :') ooohhh and yknow wat? I actually rlly like Ready Player One, Baby Driver, and The Mummy (the brendan frasier one, who ya kiddin 😑)

oh and yknow wat? The Wedding Singer, 50 First Dates, and Music & Lyrics has got a special place in my heart, man. Gotta admit it :')

aawww and amelie, and begin again, and flipped and hercules, and room, and spotlight, and shape of water, and ladybird, and the princess bride, and the iron giant, and the lobster, and we're the millers, and what if and man up and shrek and kimi no na wa and a quiet place and inception and the lion king and to all the boys I’ve loved before and oooh tim burton movies are pretty cool, the animated ones, and I did spend a good amount of time obsessed w/ dis one so I guess cap civil war, and then big hero 6 and wreck it ralph, and the martian and inside out, and gone girl, and the lion king and forrest gump and spider-man 1 and 2, and les miserables and the devil wears prada and the book of life and the intern and the princess diaries and miss congeniality and aladdin and confessions of a shopaholic

And ok, ok, i think im done. Hahaha das it das my list of meh all time fav movies and i feel like rewatching all of em now hahaha 😍

[chimcharstar]

ANSWER 1 THROUGH 65 HO

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

WPOOOOO LETS GO 

Y E E T

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

nnnnooooooo. its called holding onto my last marble.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1. sometimes i can freak myself out going to the bathroom at night but bro. i take walks at like 11pm or whenever the hell i please. and i LIKE IT.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

i would not care to meet dick face

4. What is your favorite word?

worm

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

well darn i dont really knowwww!!!!!!! the big jungle one from minecraft. but i love weeping willows of course.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didnt think

7. What shirt are you wearing?

my pyjama shirt from new vegas. las vegas. oh my god. not that i went there. my friend did. ive been wearing it for 3 days now. because its fine.

8. What do you label yourself as?

androgynouOOUUSSSSSSS i heard it described the most accurately for me as “in between blue and pink, purple is a blend while not being either of them.” yes this SPECIFICALLY. i could never be feminine while female presenting, but now that im usually read as masculine i go around seeming gay as fuck. and even though this sounds like heresy considering how i instinctively want to throat punch people who feminize me, i have comfortably considered myself a woman lately ONLYYYYYYYY BY being as butch as a butch can possibly butch. maybe without the cars. i would NEVER go by she/her NEVER NEVER NEVER. like there literally are butch women who go on T and use he/him pronouns. that brings me euphoria too and i find people reallllyyyyyy get mind-bent at this point. i really also get irritated at the idea that identifying with both lessens one or the other... thats why i like the purple thing so much. like im 100% of the thing. i was watching on queer eye, once, there was this part where all these women met up and one of them who was really masculine was saying how “a woman can look like this too” and i was like “i am probably crying for an important reason right now” and sometimes i feel attraction to women that is nOT of the ManTM just... i can do what i want. 

but my point is it’s like im only happy if i have a blend. theres even a particular quality of it i can put my finger on, like a rugged, handsome feel... and then a flamboyant, passionate feel... mix em all up... 

9. Bright room or dark room?

BRIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 

GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

transition juice, or fucking around with cs paint with some gentle existential dread

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this one, because my life is not hell, and i know a few basics about adulting now

12. Who told you they loved you last?

the sister. i said it for damage control because she had blown a fuse the other day. i was being very fake on purpose because i’m not being vulnerable with someone who will blow up. when she says it all i feel is pain. like cold paralyzing needles in my soul. i cant say i love you to her and mean it, even if i want to. honestly i wish people would say this to me. the most i love yous i remember are from family members putting band aids on the wreckage of our relationships, so i can feel a little twang of guilt and longing for what could have been and should have been. and feel like i should be doing something more. and feeling awkward because you both know they fucked up and it’s the elephant in the room. and i can feel their confusion and sickness causing them pain, feeling that pain for them. 

13. Your worst enemy?

hmmm. anyone who made me feel like less than i am. anyone 

14. What is your current desktop picture?

cherry blossoms and a city at night that i stole off the internet

15. Do you like someone?

like like crushes right? i fucking wish. i am so god damn sick of myself. i dont feel fuck or shit for anyone. its a fucking wasteland. yes im on T so i want to fuck anything that moves. and yet? can i please have some feelings? please may i have some feelings? not aesthetic appreciation. not moral, personality appreciation. or even just a deep respect and compassion. these are all fine things of course. but cant someone just drive me crazy? cant i have that extra spice of life? cant i just have a little bit of happy crazy? i will know a perfectly lovely person and ill WANT to have feelings for them. but i FUCKEN DONT. I DONT!!!! SHIT!!!!! WHAT IS THE MEANIGN?!?!??!??!?!1 i have fucking YET to meet anyone im more obsessed with than some really gay ocs. come on universe!!!! bring it!!! poor oscar. poor fucking oscar. whatever wavelength im vibing on man you are not on it. i wish you were on it. i wish you were on it oscar. you are hot you are hot with your bike oscar. and the rose quartz i gave you. the rose quartz you wanted. but i feel no authentic electric connection to you. i feel like all i just see is how your brain works with a coolheaded certainty. all i do is analyze what you are wearing so i can be as hot as you. maybe id like to draw you. and girls from work. you are so beautiful and amazing. i see you in bikinis on instagram. and im like oh beauty standards. look at you go, adhering to them. my heart rate goes right along at the same old pace. dont tell me this is principles. does someone have to smell bad? like edward cullen?? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST SEDUCE ME?!!!?? ID LOVE SOME EXTRA WILL TO LIVE! THEN MY STORIES WILL BE BETTER!!!! see this is the whole problem

16. The last song you listened to?

what am i to you by finn the human or actually that asgore fight song that i do not know the context of and dont want to until i play the game for myself

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

i would save this button for a karen.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

jk rowling. every time i see her face in a news article about why her bland new transphobia anvil book is pretty bland without addressing the raging transphobia in it and around it, i take a minute and contemplate shoving a pie in her face, and agonizing that i cannot do it from this distance.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

a... slave? is this a kink thing? im fucking laughing this is going to be so honest. probably a toxic person from my past i have unresolved sexual tension with, especially since i was in my abused kid shell and was a huge doormat so now im all vengeful with issues. since this is totally something i am open to considering right now i would like to browse this concept’s menu

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

yknow what? yknow what? i am just going to say all of me. i am feeling very body positive right now. i often feel isolated as fuck because of trans stuff and male body standards, but thats Also What Makes Me Special :) i like me, i like my face, i think i am very cool and unique, and i can walk fast.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

GOD DAMN IT THIS FUCKING QUESTION AGAIN

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

yes. but it’s a secret.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

deep sea creatures. idk. even if its small and not even ugly. i just lose my fucking mind. i jump out of my chair. i get the heebies and the jeebies.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

okay. chicken. cheese. something spicy so it wont be boring. a fuck ton of veggies so i can be healthy. and some olives, fuck olive haters.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

IM GOING TO GIVE IT TO MY LANDLORD <3

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

mexico city to see what all my friends are talking about.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

............................................................................

w    h       y

okay. i would go around tasting a bunch of fucking. really fancy old wines. listen i dont really drink okay. but with a very fancy old wine i can go around with a like, glass and look really sophisticated and tell gay things to gay people. hello boys. so id find one that strategically i would like the most for the rest of my life and choose it. and if its expensive i can sell it.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i would stick a bell in the middle of it and all of us have to go there at six o’clock and throw bread at each other and fuck.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

cunt. i dont really use it ever, but boy it can pack a punch! 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

that means my trees because theyre living things? good. my phone. i need it to function. everything else i have on the clouds and i can just write on a napkin if i really need.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

:( 

i wanna say nothing because the good and the bad made me who i am and all that. and they’re learning experiences and healthy stuff. but some of my sisters abuse that has destroyed my psyche, literally just ruined my life, it would make things easier if that hadnt happened.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

WHAT I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS LIFE STOP TELL ME HOW I GET THERE

Okay i’m moving to... greece and i’m going to study ancient greek everything and live right on the edge of the sea where the water’s lapping the doorsteps. and im gonna learn greek by immersion

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

i am not surprised whatsoever death is a cool entity.

probably someone who died really sadly and too soon in my life (no one close to me thank god) but just as a service to society

34. What was your last dream about?

wolves with bombs were chasing me around a giant university. it was all part of the game. i was trying to protect some people... soldiers were chasing me... i was hiding under the floor... hiding from authorities and war are VERY common dreams for me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Writer? Yes. am i saying that to sound full of myself? no. i am fighting very hard to maintain some self-confidence. i have done some writing recently and i am proud as fuck of myself. i caught myself thinking, “now that was banging, i know that was banging.” and so i just admitted it to myself.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

nooooot reeeaaaalllyyyyyy. i went in an ambulance for my face swelling up! still dont know if i needed to. still think i was allergic to the person i was talking to at the time. seriously when i stopped talking to them the hives went away. they literally gave me hives sdjfnskjndsjknfkjsfnjskdnfdsjknfjknf

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

they have inuyashas on them

39. What type of music do you like?

dark, longing, aching, angry, raw, disappointed, serious, low songs that get intense as fuck.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises for the concept, sunsets for the looks

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

you know what? i dont really like milkshakes. they dont feel good in my tummy even if it’s not my stomach having a fucking meltdown.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

the fuck is football

43. Do you have any scars?

yes, most of them are from dermatillomania, two big cool-looking ones on my hands from touching a cookie sheet without an oven mitt and pouring microwaved coffee all over my thumb because literally every inch of the counter had a foot of dishes on it and i didn’t simply heat up the water normally because everything was dirty

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

i want to be a psychologist and an author

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

id like a dong please

46. Are you reliable?

yeeeeeesssssss...... but the adhd wins sometimes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

future self: even if you’re in a worse off place than where i am right now, don’t regret anything, don’t beat yourself up. sometimes it’s realistic to have hope. you don’t have to be hard on yourself all the time just because it’s familiar and natural to you. so stop thinking “if i see a note from my past self ill be filled with rueful self awareness”

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes. i feel like im saving my soul a little and taking some power back when i am able to say “that hurt, that was wrong, and you don’t get access to me anymore, i don’t have to forgive you” it’s admitting that my own pain is real so i can listen to and protect myself. i wish i was more of a forgiving person but i spent too much time trying to forgive unorganically for the sake of being moral that i just can’t, can’t can’t now. it hurts so existentially and i deserve better. time for me to be mean and hold grudges. a little mean is okay.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a DOG  CAT????????

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

“doesn’t having a human-shaped robot with smoke coming out of it in the corner of your shop scare you late at night?”

“yes, sometimes i see it and jump a little”

51. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i’m dedicated. getting my birth certificate back? oscar worthy

52. How long could you go without talking?

i live like this lmao

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

once upon a time i had bangs. and a bob cut

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

yes bitch

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

yes bitch i can do a convincing british accent but i don’t want to broadcast that fact because being british is cringe and plus my name is gordon and im already trans and interested in cooking and my greatest fear is that people think i am trying to become him when i am deeply offended when people assume i make personal decisions for anyone other than myself. no one has ever actually voiced this theory to me but it haunts me late at night. i can honestly probably do any accent if i listen to it for a little bit. i find it very easy to imitate sounds and like individual speaking styles to the point of stealing them even when i dont want to. like actually this is something that just comes to me easily i think.

56. What do you like on your toast?

fuck toast. i make a grill cheese. cheese and garlic.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

i tried digitally painting a generic girl who ended up looking really simliar to someone i went to school with only i made the eyes way too small and i would show you except it’s too much work

58. What would be you dream car?

vw bug with giant monster wheels, black with flames, big booming stereo. eyelashes in a drag way. ill run pickup trucks off the road

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i sang in the shower back when i felt free to annoy everyone in the house. oH WAIT IT DOESNT ANNOY PEOPLE WHO ARE KIND TO ME

...........

they taught me i was annoying. ANYWAY. i am too shy to sing in the shower but id love to. i dont really do anything unusual except that i take really long in there but yknow im not actually doing what people think im doing when i take long. im literally just sitting there decomposing, head empty.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yes, of course, i have been telling everyone theres water under mars since day one and now look. now look

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

yes. im a sagittarius and clearly it is needed because CLEARLY theres no other fucking sagittariuses

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

G, because my name starts with that and i’m just great. really, i like... it has a chonk to it. like a reliable chonk to it

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

YKNOW WHAT? im going with dragons because of the fantasy, fire breathing and so on but yknow for my wip i was going to have both dragons and dinosaurs at a reptile like shelter

64. What do you think about babies?

i think they should be loved and nurtured, but they are too much work for me to want for myself at this point of life, and you should definitely read some manuals before having one if you can because people can and do mess this the fuck up

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

you didn’t ask anything here so im just going to tell you something. i am going to tell you that i have always been so hell bent on writing even when i hate it because sometimes when things are going well i feel like i am just so in another world and i feel like im doing something im really really supposed to do. it is such a euphoria and it has an effect on my whole aura. i really wish i had never made myself stop but we can’t change the past so i shall just have to never stop again.

THANKS HOOOOO

[websterswampus-blog]

I always thought of it as Hogwarts houses are what you value & Ilvermorny houses are kinda.. your drive I guess? Or how you function? Like I'm wampus bc when I'm trying to do something my mental process, subconsciously, is that I'm fighting it. I'm curious and seek to understand things (Thunderbird & HS "traits") but I dont function to satisfy my curiosity or know things, my actions are motivated by a mentality that I need to fight & overcome things in order to survive.. if that makes sense? Idk

That makes absolute sense! I see the houses as you do. Hogwarts Houses are what you value and Ilvermorny Houses are how you function, how you go about things. I believe Ilvermorny houses to be quite tricky, though.  As you said, you know why you are Wampus but then you have other traits which seem to point towards other houses.  I’m exactly the same way, as I am sure many others are.  I am a Wampus but there was a time where I guess you could say I was having a “house identity crisis”(you can ask Florence to vouch for me it was crazy).  The House of Wampus is one of the mind, a house of warriors.  I am a fighter and I love mind games and puzzles, so this all made sense.  Yet, as I read up on the other houses, I was very confused.  While I know my Wampus traits I have many that would point more towards Thunderbird specifically.  I wish to explore the world and see and know as much as I possibly can so, like you, I am curious and seek to understand.  Then, again, as I read more I saw that I am full Wampus.  I want to explore and see everything, understand what, why and how things and people work for the reasoning of my gaining the tools I need to survive and live my life happily. Like a warrior training for the battle of life and gaining all the weapons for them to be the best they can be, I go through my life gathering all the information I can so that whenever a challenge comes up I can use my mind to come through the battle triumphant.  I hope this makes sense.  I seem to have gone off on a tangent and when that happens I can get excited and blurt things out of order and context.  Long post short, I agree with you and believe that you make complete sense. (:

~Fahnela A.C.