#again canon chuuya is best chuuya

[videogamelover99]

I know we all like to write Dazai-leaves-the-Mafia Chuuya angst fics and that's all well and good but.

It would be so funny if on the outside Chuuya was...the most does-not-give-a-shit out of all of them. Akutagawa goes on a rant about how he needs Dazai to care and instead he just left and Chuuya's just "oh my god not that guy again go touch some trees". Mori makes a sad remark about missing Dazai every executive meeting and Chuuya's just like 😑😑 sure Boss anyway about those shipments...

Higuchi comes along and everyone's talking about this mysterious dangerous traitor that vanished and she asks Chuuya about it and he's just like "he was so ANNOYING why is everyone STILL OBSESSED WITH HIM it's been YEARS-"

[osarina]

ᡣ𐭩 CHAMPAGNE KISSES

FEATURING: pm!dazai osamu

SUMMARY: in a desperate attempt to try to get you to drink with him, dazai offers up a secret he's never told anyone... and how could you possible refuse that? AKA the first kiss fic.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: here is the promised second fic! another light hearted one :D (warnings: fem!reader, there are some implications of reader and chuuya being taught to use their bodies as tools - as implied in canon - but nothing else really, this is light-hearted as promised)

You don’t usually drink. 

In fact, you usually stay as far away from any type of alcohol as you possibly can because the one time you did drink, you ended up passed out on the floor of the Colonel’s office with no recollection of how you got there. You blame Nakahara Chuuya because he is a bad influence and stole one of Kouyou’s bottles of wine, sneaking it up to your office to convince you to drink with him to celebrate your sixteenth birthday. The Colonel was severely unimpressed with you and you were severely embarrassed, more so when you found out that he spent half of the night cleaning up after you. 

You blame Chuuya. 

Neither of you can recall how you’d gotten separated that night, but you’re certain that it’s his fault somehow.

“Just a few glasses,” Dazai complains, a pout tugging at his lips as he drapes himself half over you and half over your couch, dangling a bottle of champagne in your face as if to tempt you. “We just ended the biggest conflict Yokohama has ever seen. I was just promoted to executive. Celebrate.”

“No,” you tell him instantly, putting your palm to his face and shoving him away from you. 

Dazai instantly lets out a string of complaints, unbalanced as he rolls off the couch and onto the ground. He scowls up at you, disgruntled and irate as he pushes himself back to his feet and throws himself right back down where he was, perhaps even more on top of you than he had been before. You sigh, he looks distinctly pleased by the withering look you give him.

“You drank with Chuuya.” Dazai instantly throws the fact in your face, as offended about it as he was the day he found out you and Chuuya got drunk for the first time without him. As if it was your fault that he was sent away on a two-week mission in Sapporo to try to draw Murasaki and her men out of Yokohama and back to their homefront. 

He didn’t speak to either of you for days.

It was the most peaceful few days of your life.

No, you’re joking, you spent a whole week doing paperwork for him as an apology, but no matter how much he tries to convince you to drink with him so he can be even with Chuuya, you deny it because you have no interest in drinking again any time soon.

“You drank with Chuuya and you won’t drink with me. You hate me,” Dazai complains, dropping his head into the crook of your neck. “You want me dead.”

“Dazai,” you start, but he doesn’t even let you get out a second word.

“You can’t even deny it,” Dazai accuses, pulling off of you to glare at you. “I’m supposed to be your best friend. Not Chuuya. You’re trying to replace me with him.”

You give him a blank look right back, and distantly, you wonder how you ended up in this position, regretting that Mori ever pulled you back to Yokohama from Kyoto, desperately wishing to go back to the city just so you can escape Dazai’s dramatics. Maybe you’ll ask him now that the Dragon’s Head Conflict has ended. 

His expression shifts into one of offense, as if he can read your thoughts. 

“Take that back,” he demands.

“I didn’t say anything,” you say, appalled.

“You didn’t need to, it was all over your face. Take it back.”

You lean forward, hand lifting to his face to squish his cheeks together. He squints at you, aggrieved, but you don’t let him yank his face out of your grip.

“I am not drinking with you,” you tell him firmly, tired of this conversation, you’ve been going back and forth about it with him for almost thirty minutes. You duly ignore the way his eyes droop and the way he sticks his bottom lip out—a ridiculous expression considering you’re still squishing his cheeks. “You’re welcome to have a few drinks yourself, but I am not going to be cleaning up after you.”

You drop your hand back to your lap and relax back against the couch, raising your eyebrows when Dazai only continues to pout in your direction. At once, a glimmer of mischief flashes through his visible eye and instantly, you’re on edge, tilting your head to the side as you wait for him to speak. 

With no concept of personal space, clearly, he leans forward again, lips curling up into a suspicious smile. “What if we made a deal?” he asks, looking mighty pleased with himself when your eyes narrow onto him, interest piqued.

“What type of deal?” you ask dubiously, not entirely convinced that he has something up his sleeve that could convince you to drink again.

“If you drink with me, I’ll tell you something about me that I’d never admit sober.”

 Oh.

Dazai smiles like he’s won. 

You click your tongue sharply and then say, “Pour me a glass.”

This was a mistake. 

You don’t know where Dazai got his hands on two bottles of champagne, but you almost would’ve preferred his choice of whiskey to it. The bubbles have gone straight to your head, your entire body feels light and Dazai has become far more touchy than he usually is. It started out with subtle brushes—he moved closer to you, thigh pressed to yours as he spoke animatedly about his portion of the last mission, occasionally knocking his shoulder into yours. He’s no doubt over-exaggerating the grandeur of it all, but you find yourself smiling as he waves his hands around and describes the epic staging of his capture and how he almost died at the hands of the enemy because Chuuya ‘can’t function without Dazai there to order him around.’

You think Chuuya would punch him in the face if he heard Dazai say that, but you think you’ll let it slide this time because Dazai looks cute happy rambling on about the mission and boasting his feats. His cheeks are tinted pink from the alcohol and he’s talking so fast that you can hardly keep up.

Dazai had been weird the past two weeks. You thought he’d be excited with his promotion to executive and beating both you and Chuuya in the race to the open seat, but he’s been oddly glum. Hasn’t risen to the bait of Chuuya’s gibes, hasn’t chased you around headquarters to bother you about one thing or another; when people congratulate him for his promotion, his gaze slides past them as if they aren’t even there. You and Chuuya have been trying to figure out what’s wrong with him but every time you guys try, it’s like he knows to evade you.

This is the most ‘normal’ you’ve seen him in almost two weeks.

“What were you going to tell me?” you finally ask curiously when the conversation lulls as Dazai reaches to pour himself another glass.

He pauses, gaze cutting to the side to look at you. Your eyes narrow and for a moment, neither of you move, just staring at one another. Then Dazai pointedly continues to pour himself another glass.

Notably, not answering your question.

You scowl at him. “You are not getting out of this, Dazai Osamu,” you say, irate. If your voice is a little slurred, you ignore it. “You promised.”

Dazai makes a noise in the back of his throat—something caught between a complaint and a whimper—and you lean a little closer to him, intrigued, watching as his face steadily gets redder.

“Oh my god,” you say more to yourself than him. “You really are embarrassed. Come on, tell me, it can’t be that bad.” 

“I’m not drunk enough,” he protests, trying to physically turn his body away from you, but you shift closer to him, half leaning on his lap so you can keep your gaze trained on his face. “Stop that, get off.” 

“No,” you say instantly, delighted at the change in demeanor. “I’m drunk enough. Tell me. It’s time.”

The expression Dazai shoots at you is nothing short of withering, the look in his eyes hateful, you only give him a simpering smile in return. He pointedly turns his head away from you and mumbles something under his breath that you can’t hear. You frown as you lean in a little more.

“Speak up,” you tell him, nudging your shoulder into his and you can see him scowl, cheeks flushed, chin raised high. 

“I’ve never had my first kiss,” Dazai rushes out as if it’s his greatest shame, refusing to look at you.

You stare for a moment and then you snort.

“Did you just… laugh at me?” Dazai’s head snaps toward you, thoroughly offended.

“No,” you say immediately, forcing the smile off of your face as you look at him, but as soon as you catch the pink tint on his cheeks, your hand is flying to your mouth to muffle another giggle, this one far more obvious than the last.

Dazai looks entirely insulted. “You did. You’re laughing at me. You’re laughing at me.”

“I’m sorry,” you gasp through a wheeze. “I’m sorry, I just-you’ve got to be lying. There’s no way, I mean-”

Dazai bristles. “Stop laughing at me,” Dazai complains, burying his face in his hands, he covers his cheeks as he turns to glare at you. “I don’t know why you’re so surprised, it’s not like the slug has either.”

“Chuuya has had his first kiss, Dazai,” you say before you can think over your words and instantly Dazai’s brows are furrowing, eye squinting as he looks at you.

You think you’ve made a fatal mistake. The alcohol has made your tongue far too loose.

“How do you know that?” he asks suspiciously, staring at you intently as he waits for an answer.

Shit. You stare at him for a moment, contemplating your options because there’s no way in hell that you’re admitting to Dazai Osamu that you were Nakahara Chuuya’s first kiss. But the longer you wait, the more suspicious he’s getting, you can tell, and you have a feeling that if you do lie, he’s going to figure it out right away.

“He told me,” you finally answer and instantly, Dazai’s gaze sharpens.

Fuck.

“Liar,” he accuses, and you can see that even under the influence of four glasses of champagne, his mind still works sharply—a bit slower, maybe, because even Dazai Osamu is not immune to the effects of alcohol, though he does clearly have a ridiculously high tolerance. 

You see his thoughts whirling, racing to put together the pieces laid out before him, and you watch as he suddenly straightens in his seat, eyes wide. “Dazai-”

“No,” he breathes out, horrified. “No. No. You’re lying. You must be lying.”

“Dazai,” you say again, but he doesn’t let you finish.

“Noooooo,” Dazai complains, louder, more aggrieved. He tugs at his hair, squeezes his eyes shut. “No. No. Noooooo, I can’t accept this. Revoke it. Revoke it immediately.”

You blink. “Dazai,” you start slowly, “I can’t just revoke it. That’s-It’s not how that works, what-”

“REVOKE IT!”

“Jesus Christ. Fine. Revoked. It's been revoked.”

Dazai lets out a long breath, leaning back against the couch as he turns another flinty look onto you. “You’re so disgusting.”

“Look in a mirror,” you snap back, irritated.

“No, you look in a mirror. You’ve kissed a-” he gags as if he can hardly bring himself to say the words. “You’ve kissed a slug. You’ve kissed a slug, you’re so disgusting, I can hardly stand to look at you.”

“You’re so fucking dramatic, Dazai,” you snort, rolling your eyes at the genuine repugnance painted all over his face. But you watch as the disgust suddenly disappears, melting into a conflicted expression that you have trouble reading. “You really haven’t had your first kiss?”

You don’t really know what you expected. Well, you would have thought that Dazai would have some experience—maybe not as much as you or Chuuya, the two of you have been trained in utilizing your bodies for strategic purposes, but you would’ve thought maybe he found someone to experiment with. 

Although, you suppose you shouldn’t really be that surprised. Mori is Dazai’s mentor, and he has the boy constantly swamped with missions and operation preparations, keeping him carefully under his thumb so that no one else can taint the control he has over his precious Demon Prodigy—Dazai likely doesn’t even have the time to even think of stuff like this, much less go out of his way to experience it himself. 

Dazai doesn’t respond, pointedly turning his face away from you. 

“So what if I haven’t?” Dazai snips, regaining his cool facade, even if it did take a bit longer while under the influence of the champagne. “Maybe, I’m saving it for someone special, ever think of that?”

You coo, reaching out to pinch his cheek, and Dazai gives you a look nothing short of affronted, pulling his face away just as you feel how warm his cheeks are. 

“Tell me about your dream woman then, Dazai?” You lean your elbow against the back of the couch, resting your cheek on your palm as you look at him. “I wanna know allll about her.”

“Well-” Dazai starts, clearing his throat as he takes another sip of his drink. 

You watch as he stares ahead for a moment, waiting to see what he says—a part of you is genuinely curious, a tight feeling of anticipation in your throat that you can’t seem to push away but don’t know why.

Finally, Dazai looks at you with a crooked smirk and a victorious look in his eye that makes you realize whatever he is about to say is going to piss you off. “You would like to know, wouldn’t you? I knew you had a crush on me. I bet you just want to know if you’re my dream woman.”

“HA!” you bark out a laugh immediately at the prospect, ignoring the weird tug at your chest. “You wish, Dazai, maybe when hell freezes over.”

You miss the way Dazai’s expression falters as you try to distract yourself from the tightness pulling at you by taking another generous sip from your half-full glass.

Dazai lets out an irritable puff, pushing out his cheeks as he looks away from you, making a show of being offended by your comment. You roll your eyes at him as you turn your attention back to him.

“So you’ve both had your first kiss then,” he says, voice clipped, and before you can make a comment about it, he continues, “Whatever. It’s probably not that great anyway. It’s just pushing your lips against someone else’s. What’s so special about that? Honestly, it sounds kind of gross.”

He’s not looking at you, and you have to gnaw at your bottom lip to not snort at the blatant bitterness in his tone as he speaks. You wonder if he’s that aggrieved by the situation, or if the alcohol is just making him looser with his emotions because he’d never usually be so openly bothered by this.

“Why haven’t you kissed one of Mishima’s daughters?” you ask curiously, tucking your knees to your chest as you watch him curiously. “Those three are always hanging around trying to get our attention.”

That’s putting it gently—Mishima’s girls are your age, and whenever the Sun and Steel host an event that the Port Mafia is invited to, the three are all over you guys. Whether it’s teenage rebellion against their father, or they’re actually interested in you, you don’t really know, but they make for better company than most of the other people in attendance and have loose lips, so you tend to find the oldest sister to entertain you for the night.

Dazai hesitates for a moment, an odd expression crossing his face. He finally says, “They’re not interested in me.”

You wrinkle your nose as you look at him, leaning your head against the back of the couch. “What do you mean? The youngest is interested in anything with two legs, pretty low bar to reach,” you try to joke but Dazai seems to find no humor in it, lips curling down as he stares ahead absently.

“Not me,” Dazai says after a few seconds. “... They think I’m weird. Heard them talking about it at the last event—Noriko and Michiko.”

You pause, lowering your glass from your lips to rest your hands down in your lap as you observe him. His expression is mostly blank, but there’s a conflicted look in his eye that makes your throat feel tight. You’d always wondered if Dazai cared about what people would say about him—they’re not exactly subtle regarding how they feel about the youngest executive. They find him odd and disturbing, most people evade him as much as possible. They think he’s inhuman, closer to a demon than man. You’re sure he’s overheard a lot of it: Dazai knows anything and everything that goes on in the Port Mafia, you can’t imagine he’s blind to people’s opinions on him, but if he is aware, he’s never let it outwardly bother him. In fact, you think he’s utilized it to his advantage for the most part.  

But… you’d learned quickly once you were back in Yokohama that Dazai Osamu isn’t alone by choice. He craves interaction with people, but finds little of it because people find his presence unnerving and the few that don’t are wary of the tight leash that Mori has him on. So, you suppose you shouldn’t really be surprised that he’s more bothered than he lets on about some girls your age, who are clearly hung up on both you and Chuuya, having no interest in him because of how they perceive him.

“Well, fuck them,” you finally scoff, already plotting out a way to humiliate the two that Dazai had overheard talking shit about him at the upcoming event in a few weeks. “They’re bitches anyway. And stupid too, clearly. You’re not weird.”

Dazai looks as if he doesn’t believe you, lips tight as he lifts his glass to his lips only to find it empty. He seeks out the bottle and sighs when he notices that it too is empty. He places his glass back down on the table, but doesn’t turn to look at you.

“You don’t need to lie,” he says, keeping his voice breezy but you can see the expression on his face even if he is trying to hide it from you. “I know that I am, I-”

“You’re not,” you repeat, getting increasingly more irritated. “Don’t piss me off. Stop saying that shit.”

“It’s the truth,” Dazai says simply, folding his hands over his lap. “I don’t know why you’re getting so upset about it. Even Chuuya thinks so.”

“It’s not the truth,” you snap, “and I’m getting upset about it because you’re my best friend. I’m sick of people acting like you’re some evil incarnate for doing what we all do. And I’m sick of you letting it feed into whatever complex you have about your humanity. And for your information, Chuuya has drop-kicked people for talking poorly about you—and you better not tell him I told you that, he said he’d kill me if I did.”

Dazai doesn’t react to what you say for a second, brows furrowing and a strange expression crossing over his face at your words, as if he wasn’t sure what he expected from you but it wasn’t that. But it’s the truth. 

Chuuya has beat the shit out of people for talking badly about Dazai—no matter how much he bitches and complains that Dazai is annoying and a freak, he doesn’t let other people say the same shit when he’s around. You don’t like getting your own hands dirty like Chuuya does, but you’ve had people killed for talking badly about Dazai—you won’t admit that to anyone even if there’s a gun to your head—but all it takes is a few words about a certain subordinate stirring dissent within the ranks and the Black Lizards are on the move to take care of the inciter. 

It’s safe to say that the Mafia subordinates are careful to not voice their opinions about Dazai around the two of you anymore. 

Then, he says firmly, “I’m not your best friend.”

Your eye twitches. “What?” 

“I’m not your best friend,” he says again, speaking in a calm, matter-of-fact tone. “Chuuya is your best friend. You hang out with him more than me, you go drinking with him and don’t drink with me unless I bribe you, you kiss him.”

“Why can’t you both be my best friend?” you ask, annoyed, feeling much like a child.

“That defeats the purpose of best,” Dazai says snidely. You roll your eyes at his tone. 

“Well, I only hang out with Chuuya more because you’re on missions more than both of us because you have that fancy executive title now. And I don’t go drinking with Chuuya. I drank with him once and never again.”

You pointedly don’t say anything about the last comment he made, but Dazai catches that, leveling a steady look onto you.

“You kiss Chuuya,” Dazai repeats, quieter this time. “You don’t kiss me.”

“I would kiss you,” you tell him, voice a little more hesitant than you intend for it to be. Nervous, even. 

This is different from when you kiss Chuuya—from when you do anything with Chuuya. Kouyou directed the two of you to each other a few weeks ago toward the end of the conflict, saying that if you ever plan to bring any of the tactics taught by your mentors about utilizing your bodies for strategic purposes to the field, it’s best for the two of you to practice with one another as training. 

It was work. 

It was training. 

It wasn’t whatever this is about to be.

Your heartbeat feels erratic in your chest as you stare at him, he hasn’t reacted to your words, staring at you as if trying to figure out if you’re being serious or if you’re setting him up to make a fool out of himself.

“… I would not mind if hime was my first kiss.”

You let out a flustered noise in the back of your throat at the sudden use of the title you’ve grown to loathe over the past two years, dubbed by none other than Mori himself. Usually, Dazai only uses it whenever he’s trying to goad you into an argument, knowing how much you hate it, but there’s something different about it this time—something that has your cheeks heating up. His voice is softer, breath a bit hitched as he speaks, as if he’s just as nervous as you are but is trying to hide it.

“I thought you were saving it for someone special,” you say quietly, looking at Dazai carefully.

Dazai finally turns his head to look at you, expression subdued. “... Hime is special to me.”

Your breath catches at the admission, wondering if he’s trying to say you’re special because you’re his closest friend or if he’s trying to hint at something more, but Dazai’s expression doesn’t betray any of his thoughts and he doesn't seem inclined to expand on his painfully cryptic comment. 

Nor do you have the courage to ask.

You take in a quick breath, gathering your nerves before Dazai takes your prolonged silence as rejection and flees. You shift closer to him, watching as he takes in a sharp, quiet puff of air, staring at you carefully. His fingers are stiff in his lap, twitching as if he doesn’t know what to do with them. You lift your own hands to cup his cheeks between them.

His bandages are rough against the pads of the fingers on your left hand, and absently, you think that you should maybe stock up on a softer brand, because you’re sure they must be irritating his skin. His skin is smooth in contrast as the fingers of your other hand brush along his cheekbone, you watch as he lets out a shaky breath, visible eye wide as it traces your face. He instinctively leans into your touch and for a moment, you can’t help but wonder when the last time someone has touched him gently. Even Chuuya didn’t have such a reflexive reaction to your touch.

You don’t kiss him for a second, gaze lingering on his face, searching his eye to make sure that he’s ready. His tongue darts out to nervously wet his lips, cheeks tinted pink, fingers still unsteady in his lap as he waits. It’s cute, you think—and it might be the first and last time you’ll ever see Dazai Osamu so plainly flustered over something, so you want to savor it as best you can.

Once you’re satisfied, you lean in to press your lips against his. His lips are chapped and taste like the champagne the two of you have been drinking and faintly like the cigarette he’d been smoking on the walk back to your apartment. Not the most pleasant taste, but for some reason, you can’t seem to get enough of it. 

As far as kisses go, it's definitely a bit awkward, but still, it’s nicer than kissing Chuuya. You tell yourself it’s because kissing Chuuya is like any other job or mission, but a part of you wonders if it might be more than that.

You disregard that thought instantly. 

You keep the kiss soft and chaste, lips moving only subtly against his own. Dazai doesn’t kiss you back—you can feel his lips trembling and you try to relax him by smoothing your thumb over his cheekbone, but it only seems to make him even more nervous from how his breath hitches against your lips.

You can’t help the smile that tugs to the corner of your lips and he can obviously feel it, so he pulls back and asks, “Are you about to laugh at me again?” His voice is edged with a whine, lips turned down and expression sullen.

You don’t respond, instead, you lean in to press another quick kiss against his lips, letting out a puff of amusement when he lets out a surprised noise but swiftly melts into it.

Then you press another, and another after that, and again, until you can feel his own lips curving up against yours. You don’t know how long the two of you sit there, sharing short, chaste kisses and giggles until you can hardly remember how the two of you ended up there. You blame the dizziness you feel and the way your heart flutters in your chest on the alcohol.

When you finally pull away, Dazai’s face is flushed. He tries to hide the way his fingers are shaking by sneaking his hands beneath his thighs to sit on them, attempting to save some face by raising his chin and giving you an arrogant look.

“I knew you had a crush on me.”

“Ugh! I do not, you’re so gross, Dazai.”

But even as you speak the words out loud, you know that it’s a shameless lie. 

[oikasugayama]

I love all your posts. In your dazai nsfw head canons, there was the thing with chuuya and I was wondering if you could write a fic on that? It's oki if not!! :)

tag-team

Inspired by letters I and W from my Dazai NSFW alphabet in which Dazai wants to fuck his girlfriend in Chuuya's office, and Chuuya gets to join in.

5.1k, jealous!dazai, afab!reader, cumming inside, cunnilingus, blowjob, fingering, soukoku bickering while fucking, etc. not soukoku but they do sexually interact, etc. not proofread bc i'm tired [click to read on ao3]

You urge Dazai to lock the door behind you, but he chuckles and shakes his head. “No baby,” he mumbles, sliding his hands past your hips and down to grab two handfuls of your ass. “He'll know something's up if the door's locked. If Chuuya catches us, we should be riiiight in the middle of things so he can't stop us.”

“Remind me why I let you talk me into this again?” you ask as he leans forward, chasing your lips even as you lean back and wait for an answer.

“Because fuck Chuuya. If I want to fuck my girl in his office, I will.”

“That's a terrible reason,” you gasp as Dazai slides one hand up your body and into the hair at the back of your head to pull you in for a kiss. His open mouth meets yours, tongues immediately gliding together with the same force as your lips. 

“But we're here, aren't we?” he asks after pulling back just for a second. “And I want you so bad.”

You whimper and let him reel you in once again. Your nerves will get the best of you if you have time to take in your surroundings; as it is your nose can't stop sniffing out the unfamiliar smells of luxuriois leather and some kind of smoke. If Dazai keeps leading you so confidently you'll be able to let go of yourself entirely and go along with this absolute ridiculous plan of his.

He kisses you faster and with more urgency than he does at home, making both of you breathless as you gasp into each other's mouths and lap at each other's tongues. 

His large hands glide over your body, up and down your back, hiking your top up and trying to dip into your pants. You follow his lead, reaching for the buttons on his vest and his shirt. He keeps kissing you through both of you martially undressing, his tops hitting the floor, yours following shortly after.

When he gets your bra off he makes you sit on Chuuya’s desk, and he leans down to suck on your tit. You lean back, tossing your hair over your shoulder, closing your eyes so you can focus on the feeling of Dazai's tongue circling your nipple as it perks and hardens at his touch. You make small noises, still shy in an unfamiliar place, but Dazai keeps working over you, suckling, kneading, teasing his teeth over your skin, until you're softly moaning his name and laying back, making him bend at the waist and lean forward to follow you down onto Chuuya's desk, ignoring whatever papers you land on. 

Dazai kisses lower eventually, and his deft fingers unbutton your jeans and start sneaking under the fabric.

“You're so pretty spread out for me on stupid Chuuya’s desk,” he says cupping your dampening panties in his palm. “I'm gonna make you feel so good the whole Mafia hears you screaming.”

Your eyes widen in panic briefly and you stutter out a no, but Dazai laughs softly and kisses right above where your panties cover.

“You're safe, baby, I promise. Not a single person here would be stupid enough to hurt a hair on your head.” He drags your jeans down your legs finally, and you kick a little as he pulls them over your feet. He grabs one ankle, kisses the inside of it, then holds your leg up and kisses slowly down, closer and closer to your crotch.

“These walls are soundproof anyways,” he says once he's near your inner thigh. “No one will hear you scream.”

You giggle softly and push his forehead away from you.

“Don't be creepy, weirdo.”

He smiles and lays his cheek against your thigh, his face so close to your clothed cunt. You watch him, desperate for his next move.

“There's my sweet girl. You really don't need to be worried, I promise.” You jump slightly when his finger presses just above your clit and pushes in as he drags it down, making your panties slightly stick between your folds. “I'd never put you in danger.” His voice lowers as his finger goes up again, still pushing in, now really emphasizing your cleavage. “You know that, right?”

You nod, giving a quiet “mhm.”

“Speak up,” he says, now tracing his fingers around the outside of your panties.

“I know,” you say, still keeping your eyes locked on his. “You'd never put me in danger.”

“Good. And do you know why?” His finger slips under by just a single knuckle, and he lifts your panties high, making the crotch pull taut and squish between your labia. You whine and try to push down to get some friction on your clit but it's barely there, he's holding your panties at just the wrong angle.

“Tell me.”

“Because you love me?” You guess, and he smiles widely.

“Exactly!” he says in his playful, excited voice. Then he rolls his head toward your crotch and licks a fat, wet stripe up one half of your exposed cunt. You make a startled little moan and he chuckles before licking the other side too.

“Now, do you want my tongue or my fingers?” he asks so close that you can feel his breath tickling your wet skin.

“Both,” you answer immediately.

“Both?” He sits up and tsks, slowly shaking his head. He stands upright and you whine, reaching for him, saying soft no’s.

“Greedy girl.” He looks down and spreads your pussy with his fingers, then readjusts your panties so they're right against your clit. “You must be so horny you could die. Being so greedy like that… Why don't you get yourself off then, baby? Show me how you play with yourself with no hands.”

He tugs your panties up slightly a couple of times, giving little pricks of pleasure to your clit. You get the hint and move your hips up slowly, getting another prick of sensation. You readjust, getting one foot up on the desk beside you so you have leverage to move. Then you start a slow rhythm, bucking upward against your panties so they grind on your clit and work you up. 

“That's it, baby,” Dazai coos lowly, petting your thigh with his free hand. After a while when your speed increases and you start whining his name, he unbuckles his belt, works open his button and fly, and pulls his dick out, giving it strokes that match the time of your grinding.

“Fuck, this is hot,” he sighs. “I could watch you get yourself off all day.”

“But I want you,” you whine. You start kneading and pawing at your boobs as well, staring right up at Dazai. “Fuck me,” you beg softly.

Dazai bites his lip but says nothing, watching you with his greedy, hungry eyes.

“Please,” you breathily beg, searching for more pressure that just doesn’t exist in your current predicament. “Please, Dazai, please. Please.”

“God, it’s so hot when you beg,” he finally says, letting go of his dick. He grabs your panties with both hands and pulls them down your legs before haphazardly throwing them over his shoulder to land somewhere else.

“I want you so bad, Dazai. Please. Please.”

“Shhh,” he coos softly, leaning down over you. His lips brush yours and he intersperses tiny kisses with tiny shushes as his fingers collect your wetness. You desperately chase his lips, but he keeps pulling away. He even has the audacity to chuckle in your face.

“Don’t worry, needy girl.” He hisses softly, and you vaguely get the impression that his arm is moving-- he must be stroking himself with your wetness. “I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

You nod frantically, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He asks if you’re ready, and you keep nodding and nodding and finally he slips the tip inside and you moan into his face.

“Oh, fuck,” he moans, sinking further and further into you. “Love this pussy. It’s so fucking good to me.”

“I love you,” you whine and he chuckles again as he bottoms out.

“I love you,” he mutters against your lips and kisses you properly, not teasing or withholding anymore.

And that’s when the door opens.

“What the fuck?! Dazai!” Chuuya yells, scrambling for what to say next. Dazai sighs dramatically, letting the noise turn into a groan. He stands up without pulling out of you and turns his upper body toward Chuuya.

“What do you want?” he snaps. “I’m kind of busy here.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” There’s a scuffle and some noise from the hallway, but to your surprise Chuuya calmly calls over his shoulder “Don’t worry about it-- I’ve got it under control,” and then closes and locks the door behind him. He takes his hat off and hangs it on the back of the door then turns back to you two.

“I thought you were fucking joking, you dumbass.”

“I never joke about my lady’s pleasure,” Dazai says, and you narrow your eyes at him.

“What is he talking about?” Your whole body is flushed with embarrassment and fear and now confusion. Your heart is thrumming in your chest, afraid of being yelled at or in trouble with the fucking Port Mafia, but Dazai is acting so nonchalant, and all Chuuya does is tsk.

“You didn’t even tell her? How the fuck did you get her here if you didn’t tell her?”

“Tell me what? Dazai?”

Dazai groans and turns back fully to you, grinding against you, making you gasp. “I told you that you weren’t in any danger. Chuuya knew we were coming.”

“I didn’t know. You said it like a fucking joke.”

“Dazai, tell me what--”

“I asked Chuuya if he’d let us fuck in his office if he got to join in if he caught us, and he said yes.”

“I thought you were joking!”

“Join in…?”

Dazai’s eyes lock on yours but he doesn’t say anything. Your eyes are softer than he expected and now he’s starting to realize maybe he didn’t make the right call here. Now he’ll actually have to put his money where his mouth is and let his ex-partner fuck his girlfriend.

Dazai easily regains his composure and turns to look at Chuuya again.

“Well?” he asks. “Why are you still standing there? You caught us, so come here.”

Chuuya hesitates.

“She okay with this?” he asks. “Man, I don’t even know her name.”

“That’s because you haven’t introduced yourself yet, slug. Now come here.”

“Don’t boss me around,” he grumbles as he crosses the room. Finally he’s standing over you and his eyes lock purely on yours, not straying in the slightest to any of your exposed skin.

“Sorry we weren’t properly introduced because your boyfriend’s a fucking moron. I’m Nakahara Chuuya. Are you okay with this?”

“Hi, Chuuya,” you say softly. Your face is so warm as you blush; his formality makes the situation really sink in--you’re spread out naked with your boyfriend balls deep, and Chuuya’s hardly acknowledging it. “He is kind of dumb, but I like him anyway--”

“--Heeey--”

“I’m [Y/N], and yeah, you can join us. I mean, really it’s the least we could do…”

A smirk slowly overcomes Chuuya’s face.

“Oh, yeah? Gonna pay me back for the time it’s gonna take to clean my office by letting me use your pretty little body?”

Dazai grinds against you again, and you groan softly, biting your lip.

“Mhm,” you hum, nodding at Chuuya. “We’ll make it worth your time.” You reach out for his hand, and he allows you to take it. You guide it to your tit, and he chuckles.

“Right into it, huh?” he asks, massaging it gently. Dazai finally pulls partially out of you and thrusts back in, making you gasp again. Chuuya glances down at where your cunt sucks your boyfriend’s cock in, and he clicks his tongue.

“Damn, that’s kinda hot.” He pinches your nipple between his fingers, rolling it and squeezing, drawing extra whines from you.

“Isn’t she?” Dazai asks rhetorically, rubbing one of his hands across your belly and up your side. He pulls you by your hips until your ass is partially hanging off the desk. You wrap your legs around his hips and he starts his usual starting pace, fucking into you nice and deep because of the angle he has you at.

“Chuuya,” you say softly, but the way Dazai is fucking you makes everything you say sound like a breathy moan. Both of them turn slightly red from hearing you more or less moan to Chuuya. “Chuuya, take your pants off,” you add, trying to make it clear that you were trying to say this from the beginning. Dazai’s thrusts speed up and hit harder, and he starts grunting from the effort.

“Oh, fuck,” you moan, grabbing the edge of the desk for dear life. “Oh, Dazai, fuck!”

You hear the clinking of metal and turn your head to see Chuuya doing as you asked. He drops his pants, kicking them to the side after kicking his shoes off too. He unbuttons his vest and his shirt and strips until he’s only in his underwear and socks. You watch as he palms himself through his underwear, watching from a few feet away as Dazai fucks you relentlessly. Your tits jiggle, your breath shakes, your legs are trembling, and Dazai is huffing and moaning and panting above you. His head is down, his long hair hanging over his face as he watches where your cunt meets his cock--he told you once it’s one of his favorite sights, and when he gets so drunk on it like today, you believe it.

“Let me touch you,” you stumble out to Chuuya, reaching out to him again. He shuffles closer until your hand can paw at his crotch, feeling for the shape of him through cloth. He locks his hands behind his head and stands with his hips toward you, watching as you stroke him and feel him up as best you can.

“Take it off,” you huff, grabbing the elastic of his waistband. “I wanna see.”

Meanwhile, Dazai’s pace doesn’t let up. One of his hands gropes at your breasts, squeezing and almost using it as leverage to balance himself as he fucks you.

“Go on then,” Chuuya says without moving. You struggle to reach both arms over to him, but you manage to squirm away from Dazai just enough-- which he does not like-- to get your hands on Chuuya’s underwear. You pull it down a few inches and push it as much as you can until finally they drop.

His cock is a nice size-- it’s thick and when you wrap your hand around it, an inch or two and the tip are still sticking out. His pubes are thick but cleanly trimmed and with his toned, muscular body you have to admit you’re finding him really, extremely hot.

“Your hands are much softer than mine,” he grunts as you jerk him off. “Feels good.”

“She’s got an amazing mouth,” Dazai pants, finally lifting his head to watch you interact with Chuuya, though his pace never ceases. “Put on a condom and let her show you what she can do.”

“You use condoms?” Chuuya asks, glancing down at Dazai’s dick.

“No, but you will if you’re gonna put your dick anywhere near her,” he mumbles. “I don’t even like her hand on you bare.” He grimaces. “You still keep some in your desk, don’t you?”

“Old habits die hard,” Chuuya mumbles, gently touching your hand to make you let go of him. As he rounds his desk to rifle through his drawers, Dazai leans down and licks one nipple, then the other.

“I’m gonna cum in you,” he mumbles against your skin. “You’re mine. Don’t you forget that.”

“Yeah,” you moan as you agree. His fingers find his way down to your pussy, and you feel one partially slip in beside his cock, working a louder moan from you as it stretches you nicely. He pulls it out, presses in, gently stretching and filling you to the brim.

There’s a thud next to your head, and you turn to see Chuuya kneeling on the desk beside you, rolling a condom over his shaft. “Will you open that pretty mouth for me?”

You don’t even answer, you just whine and open your mouth, sticking your tongue out.

“She loves it,” Dazai says, and it comes out awfully near to a moan. “Love sucking cock, don’t you, [Y/N]?”

“Mhm,” you hum around Chuuya’s tip as he settles it on your tongue. You close your mouth around him and let him decide the pace. He goes relatively easy on you given how Dazai is still jackhammering away at your cunt, grunting and huffing though he’s far less talkative than normal.

“Yeah, look at you,” Dazai sighs blissfully. “Bet you like having two cocks, huh? Greedy girl.” His eyes are on your mouth, watching Chuuya tamely slide in and out of your mouth. He privately seethes at the way your shiny eyes stare up at Chuuya, but he’s determined to get your attention back by making you cum.

His finger, now sufficiently wet from fingering you while fucking you, slides up from your pussy to your clit. He rubs fast, wide circles over your clit. He relishes in the way your eyes widen and flicker over to him. You must have sucked in a breath and sucked harder on Chuuya, because he moans too and his hips stutter forward.

Dazai knows that you’re about to cum based on your frequent moans. He wishes he could hear them more clearly, but he also is starting to find a sick sort of pleasure in the muffled sound you make combined with the typical noises of having a cock in your mouth. Chuuya’s not too bad looking, either.

Finally it happens. You’re loud, even muffled as you are. You moan and whine, your breathing is heavy and struggles to escape through your nose, but Chuuya doesn’t retract himself to make it any easier on you. Your legs tremble, and Dazai feels proud because of it. The way your walls clench and flutter as your orgasm tears through you milks Dazai’s dick so good.

“Fuck, mm, fuck!” Dazai whimpers and drops his head, once again watching his favorite sight. He’s been fucking you so deeply, and you’ve been so exceptionally wet today, that there’s a sticky, white ring around his shaft and it only gets messier as he cums inside of you. He shoots thick ropes of white deep inside, continuing to thrust increasingly lazily as he empties his load. 

“Stop, stop,” Dazai says softly, touching Chuuya’s hips. Chuuya gives him a look but nods and backs up, finally freeing your mouth. Dazai slips out of you while leaning down to kiss you. You lick and pant into each other’s mouths, and when Dazai pulls away he slides two messy, cum-covered fingers onto your tongue.

“Taste us.”

You clean his fingers off with your mouth and try to sit up once he’s pulled his hand away and stood up himself.

Maybe it’s because of how calm and blissed out Dazai is because of his orgasm, but he lolls his head to the side and smiles lazily at Chuuya. “She’s the wettest she’s ever been,” he sighs happily. “You better get your dick wet before I change my mind. Take that stupid thing off,” he says, waving his hand at Chuuya’s condom-covered dick.

“You sure?” Chuuya asks, raising an eyebrow. He holds himself by the base, languidly stroking when his cock gives an interested twitch at what Dazai offers. Meanwhile, Dazai is helping you to your feet and peppering kisses across your face.

“Yes,” Dazai says, rolling his eyes at Chuuya, then he turns back to you. “Why don’t you take it off him, baby?”

You nod slightly and turn to Chuuya, holding your hands out toward him. He crawls to the edge of the desk beside you, observing the way your legs tremble after the pounding Dazai just gave you. You wrap your hands around him and roll the condom off, handing it to Dazai after which makes him laugh.

“Throw it away,” you mumble, then predicting what he’ll do, you quickly add on “in the trash not on the floor.”

“Yes, darling,” he coos, though it’s unmistakable how disgusted he is to be holding Chuuya’s used condom. He barely grips it with two fingers, holding it away from himself. “In the meantime, I think Chuuya should lay on the floor-- you’ll both like my idea, so just do it.”

You and Chuuya share a look as Dazai goes behind Chuuya’s desk to find a trash can, but Chuuya shrugs and gets down on the floor on his back, one arm behind his head, the other lazily stroking his cock as he looks up at you. His eyes trail down your body, from the hickeys and lovebites all over your neck and chest to your red, sore nipples all the way down to your visibly sticky wet cunt which has been slowly dribbling Dazai’s cum down your thigh.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Chuuya hisses, fisting his cock harder when he notices the cum trail.

“Isn’t she?” Dazai asks, coming back to you. He gives you a few sweet kisses, keeping his eyes cracked open to make sure Chuuya is watching. Then he takes your hands and guides you the few steps over to his former partner on the floor.

“Lay down on top of him, your back on his chest.”

“But I’m gonna--”

“You’re not gonna squish him, he’ll be fine.” Dazai holds your hands as you kneel down, straddling Chuuya’s hips backwards.

“But if you touch him you’ll nullify--”

“He’s tougher than he looks, and he already looks pretty tough-- that’s the only compliment you’re getting from me, Slug.”

Chuuya’s hands grab your waist and help you sit on his hips and then lay back so you’re against his chest.

“Not even using my ability and you’re fine, babe. Don’t worry about your weight, I don’t care.”

“‘Babe,’” Dazai quotes with an edge of bitterness in his voice. You knew he’d get a little jealous letting his former partner in the mix, but it was his idea and you’re intent on seeing it through now. You’ll never tell Dazai, but you do find Chuuya incredibly attractive and once you saw his dick today you knew you weren’t gonna be satisfied until you got your chance to cum on it.

“Babe,” Chuuya says again, helping you readjust until your head is at his shoulder and you’d be able to look at each other or even kiss if you wanted-- not that Dazai would let you.

“Don’t get too comfortable, Sluggy dearest,” Dazai says, swiping some of his cum off of your thigh and spreading it over Chuuya’s tip. “You’ll never see her again after today, so don’t go falling in love with my girl or I really will have to kill you.”

“Like you could ever do that,” Chuuya snaps back. “I’d beat you to a pulp, even without gravity manipulation.”

“Bold talk for a man with my cum on his dick,” Dazai says in an overly playful tone with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Dude, what?! You’re a freak, why did you do that?!”

“It’s gonna get on you anyway, dumbass,” Dazai says. He slides two fingers into you easily, your pussy still being open and wet and so needy for more. He collects some of his cum and your arousal, completely mixed together and unable to discern one from the other. You give a little whine at his fingers in you, and especially at them leaving you, and then Chuuya’s breath hitches and even though you can’t see, you’re pretty sure Dazai is rubbing your slick over his dick.

“Fuck,” Chuuya sighs, and you look over at his face. At first it seems like his eyes are closed, but then you realize he’s just looking at Dazai, and you look down and see Dazai smirking and giving absolute bedroom eyes at Chuuya. Your pussy clenches around nothing, another surge of arousal making you squirm.

Chuuya’s hands grip your hips, and Dazai’s eyes shift to you and he chuckles.

“What is it, baby? Use your words.”

“You’re so hot… both of you.”

“Oh, thank you,” Chuuya purrs in your ear, his hot breath tickling your skin.

“You think so?” Dazai asks, and you feel something tap against your pussy. You look down and manage to catch that Dazai’s hand is still around Chuuya’s cock, moving it now, making it touch you.

“Yeah,” you moan softly, biting your lip.

“You want Chuuya to fuck you?”

“Mhm…” you hum, nodding. Chuuya chuckles softly and lets one hand roam upward over your skin until he’s palming and kneading your breast. 

“He'll do a good job, too. Won't you Chuuya?” Dazai asks, rubbing Chuuya's dick between the folds of your cunt.

“I'm gonna fuck you so good.” He sighs at the stimulation, his hips bucking up slightly. “Better than that shitty mackerel does, I bet.”

“No chance in hell,” Dazai sneers.

“Let me show her. I'll prove it.” Chuuya bucks his hips up again, trying to get his dick to slip inside. 

“No chance--”

“--Please,” you moan, cutting Dazai off. His face changes from glaring to surprise.

“Oh? You want to find out if he’s better than me?” he asks bitterly, smacking Chuuya’s dick against your pussy.

“No, I want him to fuck me,” you whine.

“That’s not what it sounded like to me.” Dazai frowns, gloom overcoming him.

“Make her cum before I do then, jackass,” Chuuya says, largely ignoring Dazai as he plays with your tits. “Prove you’re better than me.”

“Make me cum, Dazai. Let me use Chuuya like a fuck toy.”

“God damn,” Chuuya says, bucking his hips up again. “I know that’s all I am, but fuck.”

“Yeah…” Dazai’s frown slowly turns to a smirk. “He is just a fuck toy. A big fuck toy that’s gonna fill you up with cum just how you like.” As you and Chuuya give Dazai identical confused looks, Dazai points Chuuya’s cock at your hole and guides him in. The tip drags against your inner walls so well and has you moaning and grinding down on him.

“Go, Slug. Fuck my girl.”

Chuuya’s hips immediately start thrusting up into you. He braces his feet on the floor to get a better angle and he loses himself fucking you. 

“Holy fuck you’re wet,” he huffs. “So fucking good.”

“Oh, yeah,” you moan, reaching up and around to hold the side of his head. “Oh, fuck. Chuuya.”

Dazai tries not to react to the way you moan Chuuya’s name and caress him. It’ll be over soon and he’s not about to let his jealousy take away from the incredibles view he has of your pussy being rammed by a nice, thick cock-- not that he’d ever say those words out loud for Slug to hear. 

He kneels between yours and Chuuya’s legs and runs his hands across your abdomen and belly and near your cunt, calculating how long he think the two of you are gonna last. He knows you’re already sensitive from cumming with him before, and Chuuya hasn’t cum yet at all, so maybe if Dazai gets your pussy clenching around him it’ll be over within five minutes tops.

Dazai leans down with that plan in mind and without impeding Chuuya’s thrusting, he gets his face right up to your cunt and uses the tip of his tongue to circle your clit. You whimper and buck your hips up, then push them back down to meet Chuuya. Dazai doesn’t even need to spit on you-- you’re plenty wet enough-- but he does it anyway, landing a glob right on your swollen clit. He uses the excess wetness to have his tongue gliding effortlessly in circles around your nub. Finally he gets your attention again, and you moan his name. The hand that isn’t in Chuuya’s hair slides down into Dazai’s, and he relaxes a bit now that you’re touching him.

The combination of Chuuya fucking you from behind and Dazai’s tongue now flicking relentlessly back and forth over your clit-- all the wet sounds, the smell of Chuuya’s cologne, his moaning in your ear, his hands still tweaking and playing with your incredibly over-sensitive nipples-- it’s too much. You can’t even talk; you can’t tell either one how you feel, how good they are. You can hardly moan, most of what comes out of you being only broken, stuttery noises thanks to the way Chuuya’s movements wrack your whole body and control the way even your breathing works right now.

I’m not gonna last. I’m not gonna last. I’m not gonna make it. you think, but you’re unable to warn either one of them. Chuuya must know it’s coming from the way your cunt clenches around him. He hisses and turns his head so his lips hover over your nose, moaning your name right at you.

Finally it happens when Dazai sucks on your clit and pushes a finger into your tight cunt alongside Chuuya’s cock. It’s overwhelming. There’s too much happening, too much going on from the both of them. You’re completely dumb on Chuuya’s cock, complete putty in Dazai’s hands.

You cum hard, arching your back up to let Chuuya fuck you deeper if possible. You squirt profusely, drenching Dazai’s mouth and getting a surprised chuckle from him.

“Good girl,” he praises, but you barely hear it over the way Chuuya shouts a string of swears next to your face. His hands finally leave your tits and grip your hips hard. He only thrusts a few more times before he’s cumming too, painting the inside of your cunt white for the second time. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Chuuya chants as he comes down, his movements slowing until he’s finally completely still. Dazai sits up and smiles a shit-eating grin at you.

“We made her squirt, Slug. Did you feel it?”

“Fuck, that’s hot,” he groans, dropping his head back and turning it away from you. “I’m not cleaning that shit up, though.”

“Did you cum inside…?” you ask quietly as Dazai starts maneuvering Chuuya’s softening dick out of you.

“He said to,” Chuuya says flippantly.

“Think about it, baby,” Dazai says. “There’s no way his shitty little swimmers will beat mine. If you get pregnant, that's gonna be my baby in there.”

“It’s only ‘cause you’re a shitty mackerel. Fish swim.”

[hopelessdazai]

hi hello can i request head canons for dazai, chuuya and fyodor with a f!reader who's secretly very kinky but shy about asking for stuff during sex? but she's very eager when they start making out and they kinda tease her for it. thank youu i love your work

I'm sorry I took a while, but I hope you enjoy!! I hope I understood the prompt correctly too, ehe.

Their little shysexual

contents ; MESSAGE AT THE BOTTOM PLEASE READ. dazai x reader, chuuya x reader, fyodor x reader, condecendingness, begging, bondage, reader is fembodied, overstimulation, roughness, praise if you squint, humiliation.

Dazai Osamu -

hes pretending he has no idea what you want. until you're begging for it or growing past that shyness, good luck getting much from him!!

he'll probably use it to his advantage, overstimulating you with all the dirty words he's picked up and claiming you want them, even as you become a flustered mess.

he'll feed into your eagerness. he wants you grinding against his thigh and moaning into his mouth as he makes out with you, its the biggest turn on to encourage the both of you.

he can be a little teasingly condescending with it at times, as I'll say with the rest of my posts, its okay. you can slap him.

he'll tease you more when he's actually fucking you. especially if you've managed to get out a kink you wanna try or anything on those lines. he won't miss a beat to tenderly mock you for it.

he overuses what you manage to ask for, but in a good way. if you ask to be tied up all limbs are bound to the bed and until you say a safeword or he gets tired he won't be done with you.

Chuuya Nakahara -

God that man is going to tease you so bad. its a drabble of things along the lines of, "Oh, poor baby.. you're so needy, be a good girl and tell me what you want, yeah?"

its probably an ego boost and ego lower to him somehow. he'll see you nervous to ask for things and think its cute you're worried about asking, but then he second guesses himself and isn't sure if he's doing something wrong.

either way, he'll happily feed into your desires. if you manage to get anything out, to ask him to do anything, he's doing it immediately and to the best of his ability to get at least 2 orgasms from it.

he'll encourage you to try and get it out. he's very patient, as much as he's balls deep ans you can barely think straight, he'll politely ask where you want to guide him to.

he doesn't mean to laugh, but he just finds it so funny that you're so shy and yet so full of different desires and wants.

if you whisper it out, he'll probably be trying to get you to say it louder again, just because his ears couldn't pick up on your poor little begs. and he'll do anything to get you to repeat yourself if you refuse. use it to your advantage, :)

Fyodor Dostoyevsky -

he doesn't mean to be as cruel and rough as he's being, even as he teases you for not being able to say what you want while overstimulating you beyond belief.

hes gonna get you to try and babble it out while he's still inside and fucking you, he's a busy man and even if his baby wants something, he has his own pleasure to fill. so she better hurry.

fyodor enjoys the sight of your fucked out face still begging for more while he's being rough. if you manage to mumble what you want, then he'll be using that to his advantage until you want something else.

no moment to spare to even think. he won't let you. he thinks he can get you to a place you're so greedy for pleasure after being pounded so well that you'll blabber out whatever you want him to do to you easily.

hes pretending he didn't hear you sometimes. a small part of him wants to humiliate you into having to yell for it over and over again, it's a turn on for him.

he speaks softly to you, even while he's pleasuring you so rough you can barely breath. what does his sweet darling want?

God this is so messy I'm so sorry 😭😭

okay so a quick mention because this is sorta important, nobody actually sees my regular posts I don't think so I'll put it at the bottom here so people are more likely to read it.

please before you ask read the introductory post I have linked on my masterlist. please check the askbox status before you ask for more things for me to write.

I do really enjoy writing these things, but with school a day away for me and with watching my askbox fill up, it's indirectly stressful? so in this moment of time for uploading, I just wanna say clearly that my requests are closed.

the only requests I will freely take in this moment are comfort headcanons / maybe posts, ( eg you're having a hard time and want some comfort from my writing ) and little messages written to me.

I WILL get around to all the requests in due time but currently my life is a little hectic.

any posts you're dying to request, please at least be known that there'll be a little wait time. I don't usually do the oldest posts until I feel too guilty about leaving them, and I'll do the easiest / more fun for me first because of my current health.

that being said, if you're considerate about it, I dont mind if you do ask something that isn't what I listed below, just try not to be demanding af about it

this was a long message TLDR ;

requests are closed and only comfort writings if you're going through hard times are available.

I'm having a stressful time recently so some asks may take a while.

read my introductory post

- zai

[originalaccountname]

In your Murase Lives ADA!Chuuya AU, Dazai still joins the ADA eventually right? After he loses both Ango and Oda (like how Chuuya left when he only had Dazai left, but Dazai seemed to be better with his new friends).

How do they react to that? Does Chuuya help Dazai join? Do they acknowledge that they knew each other before (well, I feel everyone could tell)? Is Chuuya happy he left? Or is he mixed about them working together again? Is Dazai feeling mixed up because Chuuya left him (but now after Odasaku he understands it better)?

I was trying to think of this had been mentioned in your comics on them but I didn’t think it’d been mentioned except in the intervening years Dazai had to deal with Mori’s complaining about Chuuya’s defection.

I talked about it a little bit in this post:

If Oda dies the same way… it’s a fun question. Dazai would leave, Dazai would still refuse to work for the government, so his options are limited. I can’t imagine Chuuya leaving at 16, join the ADA, and the mafia not knowing a thing about it? So what would Dazai do? Chuuya left and joined a group and now that group is his only option in Yokohama. If he wants to join them, he’ll still have to wait two years for his records to be erased and hidden. And he knows Chuuya is gonna be there, and he knows him!! How frustrating and stressful is that wait going to be? I’d like Chuuya to be gone when Dazai first joins, so Entrance Exam can still take place in a similar way. Maybe he accompanied Ranpo on his contract out of town? I do wonder if he’d confront Dazai publicly or in private… I’m still not sure how much he told the ADA about his own origins.

To expand on that, Entrance Exam the novel is quite different from the anime. Ranpo is on an investigation in Kyushu until the finale of Kunikida and Dazai's investigation to find and stop the Azure Messenger/Apostle. Ranpo shows up in person in time to deduce where the bomb was located (and Dazai tests his "ability" by pinching his hair at this moment). It's a key moment for Dazai because it's the moment he decides the ADA is the real deal and they just might be what he's looking for (this exam went both ways).

oh no this is gonna be long and turn into an improvised analysis of Entrance Exam

So, that's the thing: Dazai was very much testing the ADA for the entirety of his entrance exam. He was figuring out clues and coming to conclusions much faster than Kunikida was, but he wouldn't tell him outright: he was artfully slipping half-clues into his conversations with Kunikida to see if he would pick up on them. And he did! Which made him a good potential partner! Because Dazai didn't expect the ADA to be on his level, but wanted them to be able to work with him. And then there was Ranpo who very much was on his level and Dazai fanboy'd about it.

so. my AU.

It's funny, since Dazai joins at 20, and Chuuya left at 16 (almost 17), that they still get their 4-year gap. Except! this time the roles are reversed and Chuuya wasn't quite concerned about hiding (that's a whole other subject). I can't imagine Dazai watching Chuuya "betray" (leave) the PM on his own without consequences only to join some do-gooders not too long after and not get curious. Wanting to study him under a microscope and all.

So Dazai would have some knowledge from observing the ADA and Chuuya from a distance. Basic stuff like what they do and roughly who works there. I would expect canon Dazai to have had similar knowledge before his entrance exam, but who knows.

There was probably something reassuring in Chuuya seemingly having found a place in the light after everything he went through. But it would also a good excuse for comparison and self-depreciation. Fortunately, Dazai is motivated by Oda's words and a never-ending need to one-up Chuuya. Imagine the embarrassment if he gave up on his best chance of helping people because he was afraid of facing Chuuya.

Now, Let's say Chuuya was accompanying Ranpo on that investigation out of town. When they get back, it's to a crisis, and a Dazai who has been there for a while.

Ranpo was the one to figure out Chuuya's past in this AU, he knows about his (short) time in the mafia, but Dazai and his ability were a well-kept secret of the PM. Chuuya wouldn't spoil that: he didn't leave out of hatred for the mafia, he left out of grief and because he had that opportunity. It would probably take Ranpo 3 seconds to connect the missing dots once Dazai is revealed: singularity -> can't stop it -> has been used 3 times -> still alive -> something to stop him -> nullification -> Dazai.

Everything hinges on Ranpo and what he knows of this new recruit before meeting him: Fukuzawa and Kunikida are suspicious of Dazai being sent to infiltrate them, Fukuzawa is willing to kill Dazai over these suspicions, Chuuya would recognize Dazai instantly and also get suspicious and, depending on his reaction, seal his fate.

FORTUNATELY we know Fukuzawa talked to Ranpo beforehand and canonically Ranpo took one good look at Dazai and decided he was fine. So I say Ranpo kept Chuuya distracted for the rest of that day. Kunikida still fake-shot Dazai, they still got the airplane back up (hush about Chuuya who could have caught it), Dazai still made an excellent impression on Kunikida, and everything went as smoothly.

Which would bring their confrontation to afterwards. The big finale with Sasaki happens a few days later, but Dazai vanishes during that time, presumably to investigate and corner her. That does leave us with the perfect opportunity for Dazai and Chuuya to cross paths (Chuuya would have heard Dazai's name at some point) and confront each other. I did mention Chuuya had a bit of a dark justice/vigilantism phase during his time with Murase before the ADA, and Dazai's objective at that moment is to bring an end to Sasaki by his own means, as the justice system would never be able to reach her, so... 🤝

Another fun thing about Entrance Exam is that Kunikida is always just on the verge of figuring out what Dazai's deal is, but Dazai keeps being stupid and annoying exactly during those moments, so Kunikida throws his doubts out the window along with Dazai every time.

In short, Ranpo would know Dazai and Chuuya used to know each other, skk would have their confrontation in private and shake hands over doing what the system can't handle, and Fukuzawa and Yosano might be able to connect the dots themselves after a while of watching them, but keep it silent.

Our beloved Kunikida came in too late to know Chuuya's backstory and had a similar instant annoyance and teamwork chemistry with Dazai that Chuuya seems to be also experiencing, so to him this is just Dazai weirdness. Any subsequent addition to the ADA would have no reason to question them.

[hannigramislife]

Question: What's your opinion on all Dazai ships? I personally think that literally everyone could do better <3

Omgg anon, I love this ask so goddamn much!! Okay, let's get into it-this is gonna be long.

Two things before I continue. One, I'm a Hannigram fan, make of that what you will. Secondly, shipping does not mean "oh, these two are definitely canon, they have feelings for each other," shipping has always meant "I love their dynamic and can see a world where it could be romantic." That's why we have more than one.

Soukoku (Dazai/Chuuya) - Obviously this was gonna be my first choice to start this conversation. I think that soukoku is textually supported. I'm sorry, but there's just some things you don't write if you don't want people to ship two characters. These two are written for each other, therefore a perfectly valid ship. I myself do not ship skk, don't care about them as a ship at all, but I can certainly see the appeal. They have a history, and they're now on opposite sides, but still every bit the lethal team-up. I don't get the emotional side of it though – they inspire no such feeling in me, and I do believe Chuuya could definitely do better XD

Kunizai (Kunikida/Dazai) - This one I actually like quite a lot. I don't necessarily ship them in canon, but I believe they're good for each other. Kunikida with his rigidness and morals and Dazai with his carelessness and disaster that seems to follow him. I also like how Kunikida has a book where he jots down the best way to live, and Dazai has a book he carries around on how to die. I believe they're very different, but the sincere trust and care they have for each other, as well as the easiness of their partnership is something they both rely on and need. 10/10 ship.

Dazatsu (Dazai/Atsushi) - The age gap here is the biggest problem for people from what I've seen, but I don't think this is a proship or a bad ship that should be discouraged. Again, I don't ship it, but I feel it's perfectly fine if you do? "Oh, there's a power imbalance-" bitch, what power imbalance?? Like, you do know they're coworkers, right? Yes, Dazai saved him and Atsushi is grateful, but Atsushi is not stupid or blindly devoted or whatever. What he is, is mentally ill, but then again, so is Dazai, and if you think Dazai would take advantage of him, then that says more about Dazai as a character than it does the ship itself. Atsushi could definitely do better, and to me, that better is Akutagawa XD

Morizai (Mori/Dazai) - Well, I don't think I have any thoughts on this, other than the obvious ones. Dazai was a child in the Mafia, and they do seem to have a more guardian/ward relationship, fucked up as it is. Mori was definitely at least mentally and emotionally abusive to Dazai, from what we've seen. I don't think anyone would actually ship this? Unless you're talking purely fanfic scenarios. In this case, Dazai could do better. So yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and "nope" this.

Odazai (Oda/Dazai) - Now listen. Again, I don't ship this (I don't know if I ship anything that has Dazai, I hate the man), but if you think Oda and Dazai had a father/son relationship, you're delusional. Dazai cared so much for Oda, and upon reading Beast, I refuse to believe there was no universe where Dazai developed feelings for him. I think of them every time I listen to any Adele songs. "Them" being their Beast version. I'm so serious. This is a valid ship far as I'm concerned.

Dazaku (Dazai/Akutagawa) - This one is a ship that I get so riled up about. Because of the fandom. I honestly never gave this ship a second thought until I saw how hated it was. Then, I realized it's hated for all the wrong goddamn reasons. I don't ship it, because I hate Dazai on principle, but sometimes, I feel like I'm shipping it out of spite. It's like people can't make up their minds about the dynamic of these two. When you want to say Dazai abused Akutagawa, they'll be like "Oh, Dazai was a child, too!" Then you say they both grew and are healing – and maybe Dazai cared after all? – and it's all "You can't ship him with his abuser!" Well, which is it now? Is Dazai a bad guy still? Is it so wrong to want Dazai to care? To imagine Dazai pulling Akutagawa into the light with him? When people vehemently hate on this ship, I take that to mean "Yeah, Dazai is the worst, how could you ship Akutagawa with him?" Which, great take, I'm all for that. This ship is overhated in my opinion. Both Dazai and Akutagawa are two important pillars of what makes Bsd what it is. Their relationship is complicated and messy and important – so yeah, I'm not surprised people would ship this. Sometimes, toxic yaoi is where it's at, and you just wanna fix them. Akutagawa can DEFINITELY do better.

Souheki (Dazai/Ranpo) - I think they're besties. Absolutely nothing romantic here for me. I cannot see it, but I love them both, so I'd read fics at least. They're both geniuses who hold deep respect for each other. They may be able to understand each other much quicker and on a deeper level than other people, but I think they'd be a disaster if they were to date. Absolutely not. Plus, I'm a huge Ranpoe fan, so I'm biased.

Fyozai (Fyodor/Dazai) - They have a lot of tension, I'll give them that. They're two pretty, genius bitches playing 3 dimensional chess while everyone else plays checkers. Plus, being on opposite sides?? I can appreciate some enemies to lovers when I see it. I think if I were Fyodor, I'd definitely be interested in this young man who can match my intellect even as I've been alive since Jesus Christ was born. Also, don't ask me why, but they feel so gay when they're together – just, not for each other? I think in a no powers au, they'd definitely experiment together lmao. So, valid ship in-universe? I'm going to allow it. They could both do better.

Sigzai (Sigma/Dazai) - I don't know how this ship got popular?? I mean, sure?? Great ship?? Genuinely don't know what to say. I mean, they're there and they're both pretty?? I guess? Honestly, Sigma reminded me of Akutagawa, it was kinda funny to see. But go off XD??

I think that was it, lemme know if I forgot any major ships!

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

That would still be terrifying for the beast characters, all their friends disappear after becoming self aware, however imagine them getting internet real world and just doing the spiderman meme with their canon counterparts

-🕰

I agree, that it will be terrifying... It is a first draft, first take on spin-offs. Maybe I will rethink this part of the AU...

Okay, no maybe.

New cannon, all BSD Beast Characters are self-aware, but, only if they were shown in the Manga/Light Novel/Life Action.

So, it means, BEAST Characters that Self-Aware are:

Atsushi

Yosano

Chuuya

Doppo

Elise

Gin

Tanizaki siblings

Kenji

Kyouka

Mori

Dazai

Akutagawa

Oda

Shibusawa

Fukuzawa

Higuichi

And, from Life-action:

Ango

Fyodor

And their arrival will lead to some interesting situations.

Short ideas time!

Beast Dazai and OG! Dazai are different, but makes a good team. OG! Chuuya hates this duo.

Beast! Tanizaki, after hearing the stories, of how OG! Fyodor calms down near Guiding Light, decide to test it on Best! Fyodor.

In a wrong way

_____

Beast! Fyodor: try to intimidate Beast! Akutagawa and Beast! Atsushi

Beast! Tanizaki: shoves Reader into B! Fyodor chest

B! Fyodor and Reader: stare at each other

B! Fyodor: press Reader to his chest, like a plush toy. Start talking again, this time, his voice is calmer.

On the background: B!Junchirou hides from OG!Junchirou on the top of the shelf. OG! Naomi is looking for a handsaw OG! Fyodor looks for a chainsaw

_____

OG! Ranpo and Beast! Ranpo like to troll others from time to time. Not Poe, tho.

When OG! Chuuya and Beast! Chuuya are arguing, you are forced to stay near Verlaine and Dazai (doesn't matter, which one).

Both Dazais cant handle praise. Do you need them to stay quiet? Start praising them.

OG! Oda discuss books with Beast! Oda.

Gins and Higuichi became gossip buddies.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Dazai Likes People

Ok. So this is probably not the analysis you think it is. I'm not going to talk Dazai's dynamics with specific characters - I think that's better suited to personal interpretation and I've kind of already gone over my thoughts on Dazai's close relationships starting with this analysis here.

Instead, this is more about Dazai's thoughts on human beings in general, which, admittedly, can be a little hard to parse. There's a variety of thoughts on this amongst the fandom, ranging from the one extreme of "he loves people" to the other "he doesn't care at all".

This is merely my own thoughts on the matter. I don't know if this fully counts as an analysis, but I hope it at least sparks some discussion or helps piece some things together.

As you might've gathered from the title, I lean towards the idea that he likes people. There's always been things he's liked about people, as a matter of fact, but I think the nature of what he likes about them has changed across his development.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that Dazai's development as a character is, rather than a behavioural shift, instead based on his changing perception of human nature, and the value found in human connection. His methods are largely similar, however, the thought behind them and the direction they're given is different.

I'm going to be jumping around a bit with the timeline, so here's the core ideas in advance just so it's easier to follow.

Belief #1: "People are stronger in groups than individually." This has not changed across his character arc.

Belief #2: "There is a divide between myself and humanity that cannot be broached." to "Some of that divide may not be as wide as it seems." This development is still ongoing and key to his overall character conflict.

Belief #3: "Attachment is an incomprehensible motivator." to "Attachment is a reliable human drive." Take a close look at how his plans change as he ages.

Belief #4: "People just can't stop killing each other." to "There is beauty in the fighting human spirit." This one is a bit more conjecture based on hints in the story, but I think it holds some weight.

Belief #1: Groups over Individuals

This point requires very little explanation. If you look at the intro to the DHC conflict, linked here, you’ll find that he actually says it outright.

"What's more, you underestimated the power found in organizations. Humans are stronger in groups than they are as individuals. That's just the undeniable truth, Mr. One Man Army."

Again, in Stormbringer, Dazai confidently says the following:

"This is how the world works. It's an absolute truth no matter when or where you go. Groups are stronger than individuals...There's strength in numbers."

This is a canonical belief of his that he holds very strongly to, and at a young age at that. This is a primarily logical value to place on others. It's interesting though, because it goes beyond just "strength in numbers".

His further dialogue in the DHC prologue has him go on to respond to Shibusawa asking if the reason he joined the Mafia had to do with the strength in a group affirmatively. It ties in quite interestingly with what he tells Odasaku in The Day I Picked Up Dazai as the reason he should consider joining the Mafia, and Oda's own thoughts on the organization.

If one of their members is attacked by an outsider, they will turn into a row of fangs and bite the enemies.

"If you join, you will no longer be bothered by anything from your past. Because no past can touch that place."

He's said to speak with some pride about the organization in this scene. It's not just about strength. It's about safety. It's about knowing someone has your back. It is, ultimately, about trust.

So, really, it's no wonder that Dazai thrives in, and is honestly at his best, when working in partnerships.

The comfort in partnerships appears to have come rather quickly to Dazai in Fifteen; he works seamlessly with Chuuya after only a few minutes planning and is much more "alive" than in the previous scenes. We see a similar level of confidence, even unusually brazen cockiness, when working with him again in chapter 31. Dazai also works fluidly and has incredible faith in Kunikida, which explains their flawless teamwork in Entrance Exam.

He appears to be at his most confident when he is working with someone else. Look at these facial expressions.

So, it's no surprise that his response to crafting a way to protect Yokohama... is to create another partnership - this time between Atsushi and Akutagawa. And it's clearly not just for ability complements, but also some kind of genuine belief they have what it takes to support each other, if Chapter 84 and Beast are any indication.

It's about trust, in your partner and in your group. It always has been.

Belief #2: The Divide from Humanity

This divide comprises much of the fundamental core and conflict of Dazai's character - his disconnect and alienation from "humanity".

Again, this is not something I really have to defend - this becomes readily apparent to anyone who is the least bit familiar with the author's actual work, No Longer Human, from a cursory read through the manga, and is really quite obvious in the light novels, especially Dark Era, Fifteen and Stormbringer. As of now, it's still an ongoing aspect to his character, and if Oda's words are to be believed, he will likely always struggle with this disconnect to some extent.

However, there's a difference in how this aspect manifests in his dynamics with others across time.

Initially, it is a little like Dazai is unclear on how he differs from others; he only knows that he does in some way. He responds to Mori asking him why he wants to die with genuinely innocent confusion on why one would find worth in living, and responds to Chuuya stopping him from shooting the body with surprise and a simple admittance that not doing such a thing would be the "normal" way to think, before laughing it off.

By Stormbringer and Dark Era, Dazai is all too aware of what is "different" about him - that is, his apparent inability to connect with others in a meaningful way. However, I need to stress that this distance is also at least partially self-imposed. Dazai has internalized his differences from others, his lack of humanity, and decided to put up a front of being some inhuman mafia monster. Think "I am a man hated by righteousness" before repeatedly firing at Akutagawa.

Even with this initial uncertainty, there's one thing he's been quite clear on as different since the beginning: his high intellect, and he wields it like a weapon, appearing somewhat proud of at least this aspect of his distance from others. He's almost cocky about it, complains of boredom, and usually becomes interested in people when they sidestep or outright defy his predictions. It's something we see quite a lot of in his Mafia days and also a little in Entrance Exam. While he appears to grow more attached to people who live their lives in the midst of seeming meaninglessness than those who observe from the sidelines the way he does, he also comes off a bit envious in the same respect, especially when younger.

In some way, I wonder if this doesn't mirror Mykola's envy of those who "don't know they're stuck in a cage", in that sort of ‘how do people not see what I see’ kind of way, or 'if they do, then how can they deal with it'. Dazai’s intellect is rather like a double-edged sword - while it allows him a distinct advantage in prediction he enjoys, it’s likely also a strong contributor to his loneliness and separation from others, much like Ranpo. However, while Ranpo externalized his issues and thought there was something wrong with everyone else, Dazai internalized his and believed there was something wrong with him, which unfortunately caused him to isolate himself even further, rather as a self-fulfilling prophecy regarding the next point.

Dazai is a bit odd about his perceived inhumanity, because on one hand, he wields it when necessary much like his intellect, but on the other, he is almost dismayed by any reminders of his differences from "normal" people, even a bit hurt. A prime example of this is in the Dead Apple prologue, at Chuuya's "no one would believe that" line, but can also be found to a lesser extent in certain interactions in Fifteen, Dark Era, and Stormbringer. A lot of the complexity in Dazai's character comes from this juxtaposition - the mental superiority vs the human inferiority. So, he feels isolated in two ways: one is intellectually, which he tends to see as an advantage, and two is a bit harder to narrow down, but roughly has to do with the nature of the human self and its connections, for which he feels lacking.

Interestingly, Dazai seems to regard people with similarities to himself as threatening, and even gets uncharacteristically direct about how he is going to stop/kill them (Fyodor, Q). An interesting case occurs in Entrance Exam. Entrance Exam is really valuable for looking at Dazai's character because it is very much a transitory period for him, and there is one part in particular close to the end that gives me chills, both in the action and the implications of the action.

I am, of course, talking about the part where Dazai arranges Sasaki's death.

I'm going to expand on this later on once I do my analysis focusing on Sasaki herself, but her and Dazai have some pretty notable similarities between them that I heavily believe Dazai was aware of close to the end. For now, the most important similarity is the way they manipulate others - Sasaki's selective distribution of and often misleading info created situations that encouraged most of the people she contacted to act entirely on their own accord but also in the exact way she intended, without her having to do anything herself. This is quite eerily similar to the way Dazai tends to operate (though I'd say in his case with a bit more finesse that comes from Mori's strategic training).

And Dazai... he arranges her death using this same method. He kicks the gun, Rokuzou picks it up and shoots her out of revenge - and Dazai didn't have to do a single thing.

"She killed too many people."

So have you.

"That was the only way to save her. This was the best we could've hoped for."

........

I think I'll just leave it at that. There's a lot more to this complicated situation that deserves a thorough analysis of it's own, but I do think that the only means in his mind to save an empty, apathetic person who was responsible for too many deaths was to kill her says quite a bit about his mentality at that point.

But that appears to be changing.

I loved that Asagiri confirmed that Dazai's words to Kyouka in Chapters 34 to 36 are genuine. He's being probably as close to honest as we've ever seen. And we know this, because who shows up?

Why hello, Odasaku silhouette. Dazai knows full well how similar Kyouka and Odasaku are - their situations, even their dispositions, I'd say, and the way the both of them seem to unwittingly trigger character development in the people around them lol. But there's more to it than just that.

"Every person has their good and bad points, and your bad point happens to be killing. That's why you think you can't become an Agency member. That's just stupid."

"No one can know everything. That's what possibility is."

"You are not the only person with this kind of distress."

"Why do we fight? How should we live on? There is no one who can tell you the answer. All we have is our right to waver."

None of this is something I'd expect Mafia Dazai, or even Entrance Exam Dazai to say. This is someone who, from my perspective, has the barest, slightest will to live on.

"No one can know everything." In spite of his intelligence, in spite of his eerily accurate predictions, this admittance means that his perception of that intellectual distance is likely somewhat decreasing. He's still on a tier far above most other people... but he's closer to them than he is to a god. He cannot know everything.

It's similar to what he tells Sigma in Chapter 105.

"It's all a play of hands. I'm not a superhuman beyond the limits of human wisdom."

The emotional gap may also be closing a little. I think fondly of Dazai's dry "Don't you have any friends?" to Shibusawa in Dead Apple, then following up Shibusawa's dramatic 'I understand everyone so much that everyone bores me but don't understand myself' spiel with "You wouldn't be saying that if you had friends." Dazai really said friendless behaviour, pfft.

There's also his "I wonder how Kunikida-kun is doing~!" in the prison and his internal (and I thought oddly fond) comparison of Sigma to Atsushi.

Still, though, there is a significant gap in the way he removes himself from other people. Even as Dazai affirms his belief that it is the people who fight through uncertainty and live and breathe within it that create the greatest change, he still excludes himself from that category, placing himself, alongside Fyodor, above all others yet paradoxically inferior in the ability to enact real influence, sitting alone in a prison at the end of the world.

Belief #3: Attachment as a Motive

"I see... so it's all for your partner. Betraying the Mafia, spreading rumours about the old boss's resurrection, this fight we're in now... it's kind of hard to believe, to be honest."

Dazai, in his earliest appearances, seems to underestimate the drastic lengths people will go to in the name of the people they care about. The above line to Rimbaud, after he reveals he did all that he did to find out what happened to Verlaine, indicates that while he does understand bonds between others, he fails to grasp how that could be so incredibly motivating - whereas by contrast, Chuuya understands it instantly.

In fact, earlier in Fifteen, Chuuya's assistance is assured by Mori's capture of the Sheep members, which prevents Chuuya from harming anyone - Mori weaponizes this attachment and responsibility Chuuya has to great effect, and points it out to a bemused Dazai, who doesn't... really care. Dazai seems much more intrigued by the growing strife between the Sheep and their leader, and amusedly pinpoints Chuuya as a "sheep getting stared down by a wolf", before intentionally ramping up the tension. Dazai weaponized the cracks that were already showing between them, and while he seems to have started to acknowledge the importance of attachment as a powerful motivator, unlike Chuuya who sees it as honourable, Dazai at this point seems to regard it as a weakness to be exploited.

While Dazai absolutely shows budding signs of attachment himself in Fifteen and Stormbringer, it's nowhere near enough for it to be a key motivator of his own. He runs on logic. His plans are practical, precise and take no chances; a logical strategist much like Mori.

But that all changes with Odasaku. Odasaku's impact on Dazai was undeniably the strongest motivator for change he's had, but I want to talk a little about Dazai's side of things, and his unusual devotion towards his friend. For as much as Dazai is evasive, incredibly concerning, and apparently added some kind of stimulant to a dish he made for the trio without telling them (!?? bro.), when it comes down to it and things get serious, Dazai is, surprisingly enough, an objectively good friend to Odasaku. He gets panicked when he realizes Odasaku happened on Shibusawa during the DHC. He tells him immediately he doesn't need to use the Silver Oracle to ask for his help. He apologizes for killing the snipers in front of him because he knows Odasaku doesn't like killing (even if, at this point, he doesn't know why he holds this philosophy). He arranges for the kids to be hidden in a safe location once it becomes obvious Gide is targeting Odasaku. He tries to convince Odasaku he can find a reason to live, even though he doesn't, at that point, have one himself. He runs to him at the end, even when it is pointless, even when it is not logical, all because that's his friend. And this isn't even touching Beast Dazai, who wasn't even friends with the guy but saw that another him was, and decided he would do everything he did to protect that one person's dream (thereby missing what Odasaku wanted for him, which also, incidentally, was for his friend to live on, but I digress). Dazai is a surprisingly incredibly devoted friend to him. This guy experienced close friendship and it completely changed his perspective, because he'd never had anything like that before. Connection and understanding are extremely powerful motivators. He knows this now. It's in everything he does. The person is gone, but the bond remains, and it drives him to this day.

It's also important to point out that while we haven't seen the turning point in Double Black's dynamic where they went from uneasy partnership to that intense trust, Chuuya is the poster boy for attachment as a ridiculously strong motive for living. His decision to risk everything for the sake of those he has sworn to protect means that Chuuya is reliable. So, suddenly, Dazai doesn't need to make such stringent plans with him - they can be more loose about it, yet still perfectly in sync. "Chuuya is a reliable partner" is not an opinion to Dazai, it's a fact. Attachment as strength, not weakness. I feel reasonably confident in saying he likely learned this first from Chuuya. It gives him the power to persevere through the pain. It's not always fragile. It can be relied on. Chuuya struggles through his life and finds purpose in his bonds with others, and Dazai, both envious and admiring, picks up that he can utilize this in his plans.

Dazai making plans in the Agency is a little different to how he makes them in the Mafia. While there is still hefty reliance on logic and trickery, there's now an extra caveat of social and moral expectation. Dazai makes plans, knowing that people will carry them out because of the kind of people they are. He's making character judgements, not purely logical ones.

While Mori and Fyodor are also capable of much the same, it's rather unlike their methods, as they use attachment, often by leveraging it. Dazai can and does do this too, but notably, Dazai's allies are also regularly left to act in accordance to what they believe to be right without much direct interference - Dazai uses but also relies on this attachment to people and morality. It's odd, because in a sense, it's both an accurate logical prediction and a form of trust. Many of his plans in the present involve people doing what they would have done anyways given their character, but in a narrowed scope that comes from Dazai's influencing of them and the situation. He knows Ranpo will take charge when the Agency is threatened. He knows Atsushi will risk it all for his friends and family and people who remind him of his younger self. He knows Kunikida will never accept lives being lost if there is something he can do about it. He, highly unfortunately, knows Akutagawa will do anything to gain the recognition he seeks.

It's odd, because while undoubtedly still a manipulative tactic, he also has to know, for certain, that these people will act on their morals, drives, and bonds, otherwise it quite literally would not work. Is it manipulation? Is it trust? I lean towards both. Whatever the case may be, it is clear that Dazai finds at least some value in attachment (even if he, again, still largely detaches himself from pure expressions of this kind of motive - Odasaku was the major exception).

When Fyodor says people are sinful and can't help killing each other even when they know they're being manipulated to it and Dazai replies with yes, and? "What's so wrong with that?"

The way Chuuya wins against Verlaine, because he cared for people and Verlaine, in spite of everything, had at least one person he didn't want to let die. The way Gab might not have met such a tragic end if he'd had the chance to connect the way Atsushi had. The way the isolated Sigma ultimately falls, and Tachihara finds new purpose and drive from his conflicting bonds that should've weakened him but instead gave him conviction.

Attachment can be a foolish thing. It can be logically irrational, and in certain cases leaves one vulnerable, but it's not inherently a weakness. It can also be the source of incredible strength and perseverance. Human connection is the beating, bleeding heart of this series. The Agency barely took a breath after being framed before they were preparing to hold their own and prove their innocence - because the Agency meant something more to them than just a workplace. It's their place to belong. They rally to protect it and each other, just as Dazai knew they would, and he, too, is taking great risks to protect it.

Which brings me to the last point.

Belief #4: Beauty in the Fight

Fyodor and Dazai are foil characters - they are intellectual equals, and their methods of thinking and planning tend to be very similar. However, motivation-wise, they are very different - Fyodor says things like the above, clearly with a low opinion on most others. While Dazai agrees with the statement, he disagrees with the sentiment.

"What's so wrong with that?"

But I'll be honest: I don't think he always felt that way. In fact, I suspect he used to feel similarly to Fyodor when he was younger.

In Fifteen, Dazai describes the situation with the Sheep as similar to the "Undercooked Meat Theory" to Rimbaud, which acts as an analogy for violence - everyone wants to eat more of the meat, so one takes it earlier to get more than everyone else, then another takes it even earlier to get more than that guy, and so on and so forth until they are all eating undercooked meat. Here are some key points from that conversation:

Dazai: "If one person stops, he alone will end up with less meat than the other two. Therefore, each of them is trapped, forced to eat the undercooked meat and nothing else, even though all three know that perfectly cooked meat tastes much better."

Dazai: "It explains at least half the misery in the entire world."

Rimbaud: "I see... in other words, since everyone pursued what was best for them, they couldn't achieve what was best for the group..."

Rimbaud: "Violence and war are not necessary for survival... if everyone agreed to stop fighting and banned all weapons - then violence would be no more. But that isn't realistic. No matter what, someone will break the rules to get ahead of the rest... everyone else... would have to maintain their stance on fighting back only when provoked."

Although Dazai expresses his interest in the criminal underworld as a "thrill", there's cause to believe this dog-eat-dog world is something that Dazai himself personally does not like. After all, shortly afterwards, when Chuuya crashes onto the scene and proclaims that "the strongest always win", Dazai disgustedly says,

"It's people like you who turn the world into undercooked meat."

In a way, it almost reminds me a bit of what Teruko proclaims about what a rubbish society it would be if those with the strongest violence always ended up on top. That's her purpose, as a Hunting Dog - to use violence to stop criminals - but violence to maintain order is still violence. Violence begets violence, but you can't just not defend yourself in a world that wants to hurt you. And so the world goes round, and people still kill each other, often quite needlessly.

It seems both Fyodor and Dazai shared the mentality that people are all the same, self-centered and out to protect themselves at the cost of others; sinful, boring beings. Except Fyodor, a more proactive person, decided he was going to try and fix the problem. Dazai, prone to inaction, did not... and saw nothing interesting in the world worth living for.

"It explains at least half the misery in the world." I wonder, does it explain some of Dazai's misery too? He appears to be drawn to the Mafia, not because of the violence in itself, but because of the honesty with which it is approached. You know what you're getting, with organized crime - there's going to be crime, and death, and murder. The proximity to death is a removal of the veil of social acceptability; the mask over the world - Dazai is hoping that by getting closer to the cruel world's "reality", he'll be able to find that something that the people around him would kill for in order to live.

Unlike Fyodor though, who still sees people as boring for their foolishness, Dazai apparently seems to find them interesting by this point. What changed?

It's worth noting that even though Dazai genuinely thought Chuuya was just an arrogant, violent kid before the confrontation with Rimbaud, in an earlier fight scene, Dazai goes breathless at Chuuya's battle prowess. That sheer display of life and energy and raw destruction is something captivating to him. And that's interesting, because that fight there was one he had just previously been deriding Chuuya for starting - it was pointless violence, to him - and yet, he can't help but watch.

So, when the Arahabaki reveal happens and Dazai suddenly realizes he'd been mistaken about Chuuya, it triggers a shift. Chuuya wasn't looking for power. Chuuya was looking for himself.

In Fifteen, Dazai is intrigued by Chuuya's situation. In Stormbringer, Dazai is invested in Chuuya's story.

Once again, Dazai watches Chuuya fight as he relinquishes control to use the full power of Corruption, carefully watching the progression of it all. When Chuuya turns fallen angel, Dazai says to himself, "That's Arahabaki's - that's Chuuya's true form." This incredible show of strength is not just the result of a raw power. This is the will of a human who has something worth fighting for. Chuuya is not a blank vessel for Arahabaki. Arahabaki is Chuuya's to wield. This is all Chuuya, through and through.

Chuuya, caught in the act of dying, in a last-ditch play that could easily be a self-sacrificial one, surrounded by death and destruction, is nonetheless fighting with all the life within him to defend the lives of his people, with the symbol of his stubborn will to survive (that is, Arahabaki, the singularity that should've killed him) on full wrath and display. To the death-obsessed kid who wanted a reason to live, who did not see why people would fight so hard to live on, such a sight would be breathtaking.

Dazai is drawn to the people who struggle through hardship, and the ones who rebel in the name of valuing life. He becomes interested in Ango when he finds the reports he made on the DHC dead, that he made to preserve their lives even without Mori's permission. Dazai does not want to compromise Odasaku's morals, and is deeply fascinated by the juxtaposition of his Mafia status and his no killing rule, though he doesn't pry for the reason. With Kunikida, much as Dazai does not care much for ideals, he sees how Kunikida keeps on pushing through against every setback and horribly cruel reality check, and I honestly think he respects that.

Then there's this bit when Atsushi has just succeeded in getting Q's doll safely to Dazai after the curse on Yokohama.

"It was your spirit that emerged victorious."

He likes it when people succeed. He wants to see people triumph, against all odds.

I find it fascinating because Dazai becomes most invested in the aspects of the characters that we tend to get invested in - we, the readers, which makes a lot of sense given his consistent observer status. The story is never actively about Dazai, but he's always there, watching others' stories unfold, growing fascinated with the struggles they face and the development they undergo, and feeling pride and admiration when they learn to overcome.

But the tragedy in Dark Era in part was a vicious reminder that the story impacts him too, no matter how much he tries to detach himself - to become invested and connected is to open yourself up to the inevitability of getting hurt. But it's also in this struggle to find balance that we are open to make change, and to live.

Fighting to save a life - even and especially when that life is just your own - there is beauty to be found in that fight.

[beastszai]

✦ Dazai and Chuuya childhood headcanons (1/2) ✦

part 2

♫ Tell Me What To Swallow - Crystal Castles

✧ warnings : mentions of s*icide, death, depression, mental health struggles, etc.・loss of loved one・mommy and/or daddy issues・ooc (???)

✧ a/n : 15 dazai, tdipud dazai and dark era dazai are all my personal Roman Empire it hurts… its hurts so much hes just a kid </3

w/c : 431

!!! these are just personal headcanons and are not accurate to the canon story !!!

✦ Dazai :

He was an only child. As a semi-only child, I can tell. Trust me.

And like the real Dazai Osamu, he was raised in a highly respected and powerful household—though I headcanon Dazai to have been born in a noble family

BIG mama’s boy. Was very clingy to his mom

One of the reasons he grew super clingy to his mom was because of his father being mostly absent (again, like the real Dazai Osamu)

He was in Dazai’s life, but he was rather…grayish, transparent in his life; not in the picture, busy with work blahblahblah

Dazai did try to create some sort of father-son bond with his father—but he just gave up after a while, noticing that his dad didn’t show interest in putting effort into building a bond with him the way Dazai did

Dazai would/did try to make conversation about his interests in false hopes of his father making time for him

But his dad would just brush him off with comments like “that’s nice, but I’m a bit busy right now. Why don’t you go and tell your mom the rest?”

After a while Dazai even grew to hate his dad… no specific reason given. Perhaps how he never wanted to be a true father to him—his own son.

So, yeah. Big mama’s boy. Would give his mom random hugs, come back from their garden with some of the prettiest flowers picked and in his hand for his mom (along with his clothes covered in mf dirt)

And again, like the real Dazai Osamu, his mother was ill.

I personally like to think that his mom wasn’t the best mentally. Maybe because of her relationship with her husband and depression…

But she was always full of love for Dazai, pampered him, spoiled him and treated him with so much care that you’d think of Dazai as someone fragile and easily breakable.

Always defended Dazai with her life, seriously

He was a golden child and I will die on this hill

Dazai was perfect in everything he did, but he only did things he or his mother liked.

Couldn't care less about others or whether he would hurt their feelings (unless it would upset his mom and his mom only obviously)

And the reason he could no longer see the point in life or living at such a young age (+his ‘obsession’ with s*icide and death)

Was because of his own mother taking her life and Dazai having to witness it… The only person he held so dear…

…these are my headcanons, at least </3…

[chuuya-fan-page]

Soukoku is amazing and all that shit but if they become canon anytime soon I'm gonna be disappointed.

If they were to start dating right now it would go terribly. They have some very complicated feelings for each other and I don't think even they know what they are.

Do I want my ship to be canon? Yes but moreover I want my ship to be done justice and it being canon right now would do the opposite. It makes no damn sense unless Asagiri wants to give us some more background. And I know it's a popular headcanon that they hooked up already but my issue with people saying that they probably dated in the mafia but again it just doesn't make sense.

With what we know about both the characters and the timeline they'd have had to get together between the Dragon Head Conflict and Dark Era. And given how the characters are in that timeframe neither of them would have been able to hold a relationship, let alone one with each other. Also current arc Dazai would've boughten up the fact they used to date at some point even if only for shock value. Man would be bringing that up regularly.

Now some evidence to back up why that's the timeframe we have for that. Stormbringer is one of the best pieces of canon material we have for proving that Dazai cares for Chuuya. However Chuuya refers to Dazai as the person he hates most in Stormbringer, which so clearly they wouldn't have been together during that, because unlike his usual "I hate him"s that one seems like he meant it. Most likely due to Chuuya projecting his issues with himself onto Dazai.

Now you read Dead Apple and you get your proof that Chuuya cared about Dazai. (Also more Dazai caring for Chuuya but that dude's so obviously whipped I'm not going over it again) And obviously Dazai left after Dark Era. Theorize about them having seen each other during those four years if you want but if they had there'd be no reason to test each other like they do in the dungeon scene.

Now since they can't have already been together that means that they'd have to get together sometime around or after the prison. However for them to actually do well in a relationship, as they both deserve to, they both have to do some major internal work.

So in summary, I'd like them to be canon but not at the detriment of their complex dynamic.

And I know Asagiri said he won't make anything canon but I'm gonna play my hypothetical games.

-E

[nyxi-pixie]

me when im supposed to be studying but instead im thinking abt mori and dazai again

let me go absolutely insane for a second (not a second. this is so long. i just checked mfer its over 2000 words. i need to be sedated. imprisoned. restrained. examined. smthn)

'a young man with a death wish once came to me and i wanted to rescue him but i couldnt' and like yeah. beast mori couldnt rescue him. but to a certain extent, canon mori sort of has (touch wood for long term but as it is, dazai is so much less intent on dying than he was in dark era).

and it just. i always wonder about the actual intentions of the mimic situation. because on the surface, it looks like what dazai calls it, then deeper than that, it looks like a very calculated long term strategy, and deeper than that, its just. kinda sad.

i just think its interesting that he plans the mimic thing the way he does knowing dazai will leave despite the fact that he doesnt want him to. and dazai himself reasons this as mori being afraid of him, that mori doesnt want dazai to kill him the way mori killed the old boss. but thats? not true? mori seems unbothered at worst and downright proud at best when he tells oda that dazai will probably kill him one day.

so. Why. did he do it knowing dazai would leave? it wasnt his only option; he could have set skk on mimic. like 5 second future vision isnt gonna do much when the danger is alr there (as oda says). and in the face of a massive black hole coming right at u or a building being dropped on you, five seconds really isnt gonna do much. so mimic cld have been removed without a casualty and the mafia could still have got the permit, and not lost dazai. (who is Objectively an asset to the organisation.) But thats not how it happens. Mori plans it exactly as he does knowing oda will die and dazai will leave. he also then makes it continually obvious that dazai would be welcomed back.

and ive been trying to think of other reasons for it, but across canon and insight from beast mori the only thing i can think of comes back to the fact that mori wants dazai alive. alive and aware that the pm is the best place for him, but alive more than anything else.

i think he wants dazai as his heir bc he knows dazai is enough like him to manage it, but i wonder if it also comes back to the fact that mori is trying to rescue him, and i imagine his own reason to live (and lord knows he suggests he needs a strong one in fifteen) is probably tied down to legacy and responsibility for the city. mori devotes his life to the mafia because he wants peace and appreciates that control (rather than eradication) of the worst of yokohama is the way to keep that peace. and thats enough of a reason to live for him. but it isnt for dazai.

dazai doesnt give a fuck about the mafia as a concept bc his motivations dont rest on ideals the way moris do. dazai only ever does anything because of the people he cares about. everything we see him do, EVEN in pm era where people claim he was some emotionless rockman, come back to his friends.

its why hes never at the centre of the plot. he cant be, because he never does anything for himself. fifteen, in which he is a titular character, is a plot that rests vastly on chuuyas back story. dazais original motivation prior to meeting him is just to khs, and only upon meeting chuuya and them having their whole weird Thing and dazai deciding to be an obsessive freak, does he actually have personal stakes in the job. then in stormbringer, its all abt chuuya again, and dazai is only involved bc he cares about him (whatever he actually says aside). tdipud is driven by odas storyline, and so is dark era. dazai is only active in them bc he cares abt oda.

even when he has more idealistic motivations come canon era, they come back to the fact that hes doing it for oda. anything Above And Beyond that promise is bc hes acting to save the agency, who are his Friends. his motivations are deeply personal in complete contrast to moris, and it is perhaps the only place they really differ.

now ironically, it seems to be that the only decisions mori makes influenced by personal feelings are because of dazai. which takes me to the fact that i think he let dazai leave because he recognises thats whats best for him (at least in the short term - and we'll get to That in a second). and its not really a loss for the organisation because dazais too practical to ever dismiss the mafia, and he still gut responds with their methods. so its an easy sacrifice, a justifiable one.

then theres the contrast with the kouyou&kyouka thing. kouyou doesnt want kyouka to taste the light only to have it sour on her tongue when she realises she cant actually have it because of what she is. because kouyou believes anyone tainted by darkness the way they are can never be free of it. (because she couldnt get out herself).

i wouldnt be surprised if mori thinks the same way, certainly in regards to someone like dazai who Is naturally built for the mafia in a way kyouka really isnt. mori at least believes dazais blood is mafia black and whether or not this is true is irrelevant. he Does have to actively fight his impulses in order to do the Right Thing even now. And even doing that, he still falls into their methods when its practical, or when he's paranoid or unsettled enough to need the comfort of habit, hence the way he treats aku even four years removed from the mafia. hence the way he treats atsushi immediately after Q appears (the way he so instantly latches onto his older self literally slapping the self pity he detests in himself and in his former kouhai out of his current one). hence the way the parallels to mori spring up most when dazai has just been shaken by something.

so i wonder if mori let dazai walk into the light knowing (or believing) he wouldnt fit there, and would come back with a stronger commitment to the mafia as a whole because it may be a concept of sorts, but its one that embraces him in a way the light doesnt, and while dazai does things for the people He cares about, its a mutual thing - he feels responsibility for the people that care about Him too (which probably ties in to the desire for a quiet suicide without bothering anyone, and also to the disgust he has w the sheep - because it Isnt a mutual exchange there).

i think it was always intended as a temporary thing (five years away from the mafia maybe. the 'five years' right before dazai comes to take moris place). give him a taste of the light and let him come to his own conclusion that he doesnt belong there, and eventually turn back to the mafia where he does belong.

(despite suggestions that dazai Doesnt really belong there - smthn smthn cat/dog symbolism - though people suggest this implies he belongs w the ada and i dont think thats true either esp given the way hes omitted from the group so often. i think the cat symbolism w dazai likens him more to natsume than atsushi&fukuzawa esp given the way theyre shown tgthr so often. dazai doesnt belong to any organisation or rigid group, he just fits in line w whoever he cares abt and wherever he decides hes content to stay. v much like a cat actually.).

anyway, moris idea seems to be that dazai wld realise the mafia is somewhere he is cared for, and he cares for the people within it in return. though it doesnt seem to have really turned out that way (maybe mori j underestimated the power of the ada's one specialty: forced integration into its found family. lmao)

so you could see it from a practical perspective: mori sending dazai out to show him he really belongs w the mafia and shld come back to them when the time is right, thus mori secures his legacy by leaving the pm to dazai and the mafia is led forward by someone who could handle it the way mori has.

but. hes never pushy abt dazai coming back. hes downright polite abt it (contrasting to the way he treats yosano), and he puts an awful lot of effort into saving dazais life. (kinda funny that he sends chuuya to pick dazais ass up every five seconds with no reward for either of them - chuuya post dead apple literally asks and moris just like ? uh the safety of the city?? bragging rights😁👍? - but when he sends chuuya to save the agency as a whole the price is Heavy like. exchange of a member is crazyyy.)

dazai is always very much considered One Of Their Own. his seat is still empty waiting for him to come back, he and mori post guild are Always cooperating (despite the kinda petty way dazai talks to him during the reunion - the whole 'i burnt the coat' thing - its almost childish, spiteful in a way that speaks to personal hurt that undermines any control he might have had of their kind of distant passive aggressive exchange. but. im too insane abt that interaction that my interpretation cld be entirely bs.)

they communicate through this ridiculous game of chess, and rely on each other to keep both their organisations afloat. when anyone else from the ada tries to pull the same thing, mori pulls out contracts for their damn souls but when its dazai hes just like ? oh ur bf needs to save you again? of course i can spare him to go pick you up from european prison yeah not a problem! ill even glue his vampire cosplay teeth in!!

in connection with that, even with dazais commitment to Doing The Right Thing, he does not do it in the right way. hes perfectly content to use mori-typical underhanded methods to get the ada to the right place. he sends aku To His Death Knowingly for the sake of saving atsushi and by extension the rest of the agency (and he may have known that the vampirism wld sorta bring him back?? but he still sends him to die), and its sorta similar to mori sending aku out to deal with hawthorne and mitchell while hes in rlly bad shape.

anyway dazais methods always make me think of that cunty exchange sskk have in dead apple 'thats not the way we do things in the detective agency' 'was that a bad joke😘 ur too much weretiger🌈✨💖'. but like. dazai Doesnt work the way the ada does. at least not when things get tense enough to drive him back to habit.

i think people like to interpret dazai as being a better person now, and i think in some ways he is. because hes always influenced by the people hes around most. but also, his motivations havent really changed from pm era. he still does what he does for his friends, they just happen to be on the right side now.

anyway. mori puts more work into keeping dazai alive than any other character (bar perhaps chuuya - but thats because mori saving dazai runs hand in hand with chuuya doing it given hes the one sending him) which is. aurgh.

mori and the wish to save people is just interesting in general. the fact that he became a doctor in the first place is telling on its own plus the unhinged way he deals with yosano - of course someone obsessed with saving people would want a cheat card for sending Death packing - but maybe i could believe it was just a power thing, more to his sense of control. playing with life and death so that he can play god. and i think that probably is just a little bit part of it, esp during the war.

but theres also the way he treats doctors within the pm (sb calls it respect for his former position but it may also be knowledge that the better treated they are the more people they will save). And the only reason he works w the tripartite agreement is bc he loves yokohama, wants its people, including its underground, alive and all that (honestly it probably links back to war stuff - hes really intent on peace).

so hes already someone that is intent on saving people (and beast mori makes this obvious w the way he treats atsushi) but theres a personal edge to it w dazai, possibly bc dazai is so much like him, and asgr is kind of obsessed w the saving your mirrors bc you cldnt save yourself thing (sskk. atsushi&lucy. chuuya with his clone. beast akutagawa siblings. beast atsushi&kyouka. i could continue).

im frothing at the mouth but basically, mori does everything for practical reasons in line with his ideals, his grand vision for the PM, but that doesnt mean he isnt making any emotionally charged decisions. its just that theyre always justified by their practical outcomes. (Especially where dazai is concerned). so he can pretend that theyre not driven by personal feelings but IM WATCHING U MORI U CANT HIDE FROM ME.

yk i sometimes wonder if i see him too sympathetically for a guy thats as so sucks as he is but someone has to counterbalance the 75% of the fandom that thinks hes pure evil for no reason and has no thoughts outside of Being Terrible so. here you go have this from the depths of my brain.

[evilkaeya]

Hi! I’m not sure how long ago you posted the ADA Chuuya head canon post, or if you’ve lost interest, but in the tags you mentioned you have more to say but felt it was too long! I’d love to hear more if you want

Help I'm only seeing this now I'm sorry 😭 anyways more ada Chuuya hcs you say?? Hold my beer

> First time Chuuya uses corruption in front of the agency a part of his mind thinks, "That's it. They're going to be terrified of me now," only to be proven very wrong when he wakes up. The first person he sees is Dazai, which isn't new, Dazai has always been there after he woke up. Holding a mirror most of the time and saying, "Look what I drew on your face while you slept."

Then he blinks awake fully and he's surrounded by worried faces. Not scared, not curious but worried and when he sits up, they change to relief. Chuuya isn't sure what to do with the sudden burst of warmth spreading in his chest.

Atsushi is the first to leap at him. He hugs him, telling him how worried he has been. Kunikida pulls him away (you're crushing his ribs Atsushi) and sits next to Chuuya on the bed, patting his shoulder. Fukuzawa simply puts a hand on his head and Chuuya almost breaks down. He takes a pillow from behind him and buries his face into it. (This is how he manages his emotions. Everyone is used to it)

Ranpo, his partner, remains silently glaring at Chuuya until their eyes meet and Ranpo pinches his cheek. Hard. "Don't do that again!" He yells and says how he knew Chuuya had a bigger weapon up his sleeve that could cost his life but he didn't know it would be like this. Chuuya promises that he'd never use corruption unless Dazai is around.

For those who don't know why Ranpo is Chuuya's partner, here.

> For the 2-3 days he stays at the hospital, Kyouka leaves her bunny plushie with him so that he won't feel lonely. Yosano comes to check up on him the most, asking him if he feels okay. Chuuya tells her that he's used to it. He didn't get treatment like this in pm and he survived just fine. Sad eyes stare at him. "You shouldn't be used to it. You were a kid." Chuuya is once again filled with painful emotions he doesn't know what to do with.

> Moving on from corruption, Yosano and Chuuya are best friends !! If you go to the beauty salon Sunday morning you'll see them getting manicure and pedicure together, face masks on their face as they gossip about the latest rumors.

> Tanizaki oftens offers Chuuya his hairclips when he sees him struggling with his hair while working.

> Friday night is agency movie night !! They all gather at Chuuya's place to watch a movie together. They never let Dazai pick the movie despite how much he whines and cries.

> The movie nights always end in a cuddle pile. No matter how hard he tries, Chuuya can't hide the smile on his face when he wakes up to everyone's sleeping face the morning after. He carefully gets out of bed and goes to make breakfast for everyone. Dazai joins him minutes later. He hugs him from behind, and they share a little moment together in comforting silence.

> Basically Chuuya is surrounded by the love of his family all day every day and he's happier than he's ever been.

[rayshippouuchiha]

So, I had a dream that I fully credit to reading your blog Ray. AN there is the mention of a letter mistaken as a suicide note.

Fem!Ichigo is Chuuya’s mother and Urahara is his father. The story goes like this:

Ichigo has been abandoned by everyone during those long, awful 17 months. During a festival she gets drunk and comes across a drunk Urahara and they end up sleeping together at the Shoten. Ichigo wakes up first, cleans up, and leaves. When Urahara wakes up with a truly horrible hangover he thinks he had another of those dreams, you know, since he’s a dirty old man, and precedes to go back to his lab.

Ichigo after a truly horrible fight with her sperm donor, decides that she’s going to graduate early and move out. This later causes a big fight between the sisters, horrible things are said, and Ichigo leaves in the middle of the night to a hotel.

After this fight she finds out that she’s pregnant. She worries about what the shinigami might do to her baby, she’s not stupid she knows she might have ended up in a cell next to Aizen if she hadn’t lost her powers, and decides she has to leave. It breaks her heart to leave her sisters but they have Goat Face and he would never let anything happen to them, they’re the children he wanted not the weapon he had to have, and her baby only has her. She’s leaves them and letter sneaks into the house to get some of Masaki’s things and leaves.

The letter when found cause mass panic because it could come across as a suicide note so everyone gathers to search for Ichigo but she’s long gone. SS is alerted and everyone loses their minds. It also comes out the Isshin is Ichigo’s father and that just adds to the chaos. Evidently Isshin is Yamamoto’s grandson through Kyoraku. (Yamamoto is Kyoraku’s father but he has his mothers name, not sure why my subconscious didn’t enlighten me on that. Kyoraku and Ukitake are together, have been for centuries, but every once in a while like to add a third to spice things up. The added Isshin’s Shiba mother, who was clan head and Kaien’s grandmother, and nine months later here came Isshin.) Anyway, C46 does something(again my subconscious didn’t enlighten me) and Yamamoto decided that they have outlived their usefulness and they are all killed and C46 disbanded.

Meanwhile Ichigo makes her way to Yokohama, goes through her mother’s things and finds out she was a Quincy. This just reinforces the idea of her leaving and no contact being the right choice. Her pregnancy kicks starts her powers to return and eventually darling baby Chuuya is born.

Ichigo and her spirts are all untied when it comes to protecting the baby and she trains like a maniac and becomes C46’s worst nightmare(if y’know they were still alive).

Things start to get blurry here. I know the Quincy’s come and she kills Yhwach and all his horrible plans come out and many Sternritters turn on his and name her the Quincy Queen(Ishida was not involved yet). She releases Harribel and gets her back to Los Noches and meets up with the other living arrancar. The Quincies(sp?) eventually end up helping rebuild Los Noches as war reparations. Ichigo, the quincies, and the arrancar all eventually end up becoming friends. SS is none the wiser.

SS does eventually get a clue about Yhawch and decide cutting off the 3 world from each other is the best thing to do. So the Kurosakis, Karakura Gang, Shoten Crew, and remaining Visored all end up living in SS so they can eventually face the Quincy threat. As fate would have it the Quincies and Arrancar end up stuck in Hueco Mundo while Ichigo and Chuuya are in the Yokohama. Fast forward a few years and Ichigo is in an accident protecting Chuuya and then Chuuya ends up on the streets. Things proceed as canon from there. Chuuya vaguely remembers Ichigo but not enough to seek her out. Proceeds as canon from there.

Hueco Mundo and SS eventually make contact and everything comes out. Urahara goes nuclear(he’s kind of Yandere here) and immediately goes to find Ichigo and his son. Because they’re his and he refuses to be separated for a moment more that necessary. Yamamoto approves of a marriage between them because he wants all of his family back in SS and everyone else agrees they want her back in SS because they thought she was dead for over a decade. So Ichigo would be forced back regardless of her wishes. They eventually find her while she’s still in her coma but no Chuuya. This sets Urahara off because, his son, his baby, who he never even got the chance to meet is missing. My dream ended with Urahara unleashing himself on Yokohama to find his missing son.

I woke up with the thought that evidently mother and son have the same taste in men and that I wanted to see what overprotective assassin daddy Urahara would do to the people that abandoned or hurt his son. It would be glorious, horribly bloody but glorious. Chuuya deserves good things in life and as much as I love Dazai I’ve always been of the opinion he could do with being out maneuvered sometimes. In this case by Urahara.

I need you to write this out. I need it desperately. This is beyond fantastic I swear to all the gods

[amethystroselily]

Chuuya is such a… sad character honestly. And not even just the whole “being a human experiment” thing.

Like, sometimes I think about everything that happened in Stormbringer and then how his life is going right now, and honestly it’s just depressing? Like all that for this????

He reached his goal of becoming an executive and learning about his past. What now? Continuing to live in this horrible environment, staying loyal to his horrible boss who blackmailed him into joining in the first place, because he knows best, trying to protect a group of people he knows will just die in the end over and over and over again? Like it all just feels so futile at this point. That man has so many groups of dead friends. Like at least three in canon (PLUS a group of friends who betrayed him (the sheep)), that’s got to eat away at you bit by bit until you’re just numb.

Does he have hobbies? Does he have anything to work towards? He has morals but he ignores them in favor of Mori’s, so while he occasionally saves the world he also murders people for money. He doesn’t feel like he has any sort of positive impact on the world. And we know he feels like he’s beyond saving. He somehow feels responsible for everything that’s ever happened and has never had any real control over his own life. He gets over important things so quickly and it’s probably because he just stopped caring at some point. Like he does, but he just doesn’t have it in him to stay angry. Not when it matters.

And then there’s Dazai, one of the worst people he’s ever met, someone he despised for being so numb, so uncaring, and now here he is, actively trying to make a difference. And here’s Chuuya, stuck right where he was as a teenager. That’s so fucked up.

Like, he could leave in theory, he’s pretty much the strongest ability user in the series, but what would be the point? How would he even utilize that freedom? Would it even be worth it?

But I guess that concept of trying again and again even though it could all end up completely pointless, is just part of what being human means to him.

[hopelessdazai]

Hiii! I love your writing, please ignore this if your requests are closed I’m on mobile and sometimes it’s weird with showing symbols and stuff TT could I request fem reader head-canons with dazai,Chuuya and atsushi, basically they haven’t seen eachother in a long time (mission or whatever) and they’re being intimate again but the boys are like way more sensitive since it’s been ages please. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense or some things are wrong English isn’t my first language.

of course anon! I'll do my best . this might be a big one !! I didn't write any scenario sections because the post was already so so long, maybe another day !!

"Missing you" nsfw headcanons

contents ; nsfw, dazai x reader, atsushi x reader, chuuya x reader, reader is fembodied, switch!reader, biting, crying from pleasure, needy needy boys, breeding kink if you squint, biting, oral ( both recieving )

Dazai Osamu -

god he is so touchy with you the exact second you're home. immediately his hands are on you and making you shudder the moment you're through the door. he was so patient waiting, he needs you now so so bad :((

he'd tried to pleasure himself while you were gone but it just didn't do the job like he would've hoped. it was so difficult without you and for sure everyone was hearing about it. (u can slap him it's okay)

he's praising you more then normal, before you went away he'd told himself that he'd do just fine without you but it's really made him realise how much he treasures and needs you. he just loves being close to you!!

you'll hear this multiple times on the list but god he's so loud. as soon as he's inside you he's making sounds you'd barely even heard from him before, whimpers and whines like an animal in heat.

there's definately multiple rounds. good luck trying to get back to work tomorrow, if you're 'lucky' enough he'll coax you into another one in the morning.

he misses so much about you :((. the sounds you make, the way your walls are so warm and inviting, your taste, how soft your skin is. everything like that!! he just loves you so much.

he probably won't be letting you go on another mission for a while. he couldn't handle all that time apart again!!

he cums pretty quickly the first round. he almost forgot how good you feel, so when he's bottomed out inside of you it's almost like reality sets back in.

tears up a little too. he's very very sensitive!! the time away from you was so stressful and having you so close again and like this is too much for him.

Chuuya Nakahara -

he doesn't wanna pressure you back into it and be begging as soon as you get back like dazai does. he gives you time to relax again and cooks dinner before anything. he wants it, so bad, but he's scared to overstep immediately.

he's so lovesick, as soon as you give him the allowance to his hands are on you and his fingers are in you. he wants you to feel good, and hopefully if you feel good enough, you won't leave him again!!

say goodbye to the usual loving pace, you feel so good around him that he can barely control himself. sure, it's passionate, but he's rougher with you then he normally is. he's pent up!!

switching positions so often, he wants to make up for the time lost. one moment you're sat over his face and the next you're face down ass up as he hits deep inside of you.

again as I said, he's louder then usual. he tears up a lot quicker then dazai does, because it just feels so so good to be back inside you again.

he holds you so tight, in this time his favourite sort of positions are generally ones where you can be as close to each other as possible. he for sure would love to half hug you while he fucks you.

your markings he left previous probably wore off in this time, so he's remaking you during the session. he doesn't want to let you free from the constant reminder you're his!!

he doesn't go as many rounds as he usually would, he orgasms a lot quicker due to the time away so he's just trying his best to pleasure you enough to then hold you all night long. fully satisfied and stuffed with his cum :)

so many kisses. be it sloppy or tender, throughout the entire act his lips are on yours. he misses the taste of your tongue, and eating you out can only go so far.

Atsushi Nakajima -

you thought the other boys were loud? rethink after you've heard atsushis volume. he's whining like a wet animal and you better just pray your neighbors aren't hearing it.

if you've ever wanted to peg him this is your chance. he's missed you so badly he'll literally let you do anything with any kink as long as you give him a night.

hes so loving with you !! if you ignore his nails digging into you as he clutches onto you for dear life, he's so soft and tender as he readjusts to the feeling of being in you again.

hes a biter. like very much. much like chuuya, the usual small markings he left are probably faded by now, but he's missed the taste of your skin so much that he can't sinking his teeth into you when near orgasm.

he doesn't cry like the others unless you peg him, and if you do so you'll barely even manage to get a sentence out of him. he is just so sensitive :((

he'll take you anywhere in this time. be it up against a wall, on the couch, over the kitchen countertop or in the usual side of the bed you always do. as long as its with you, he doesn't care !!

he wants to taste you again for sure. you'll have at least a couple rounds where he makes you cum on his tongue, he's so eager with it too.

it's all giving the day you're back. usually he's shyly asking for a blowjob at the end of it, but today it's all you!! ( no denying if you offer though. )

he didn't try to pleasure himself the entire time you were gone. poor baby, it never felt as good as you did, so he decided to keep himself until the day you returned.

I hope you enjoyed!! thank you for all the likes on previous posts. - zai

[originalaccountname]

It's a fic recs round, yay!

If you don't mind, do you have any bsd fics where the characters feel just like the ones in canon? I like fluff and stuff, but a lot of it just feels really ooc and especially for skk or even sskk.

Maybe something about the ADA actually seeing them interact and learning to understand them? Lots of fics just make it look as if it was all common knowledge, but it's very much not, and so they skip all the juicy parts ಥ_ಥ

Or just your absolute favorite of all times, just no No Powers AU or bottom Chuuya if you wanna rec something nsfw, please?

Unfortunately for you it is the nature of fandom that everyone has slightly different interpretations and your best hope is to find authors and fellow readers who share your tastes to get what you crave. I also can't seem to remember/find a fic with a focus on exploring what you're thinking of with the ADA and skk 😔

and unfortunately again, my all-time faves will not satisfy you I'm afraid. Here go some shout outs that I haven't mentioned yet anyway:

where your loyalties lie by writingfromtheshadows (E, 163k, yakuza AU with abilities and an original villain, it's probably amongst the oldest and most popular fics in the fandom but I've read it like, 4 times. I love the intrigue and relationship development so much. also you can feel during which chapter DA/Fifteen came out.)

Hide and Seek by Ikiyou (M, 6.2k, it's just Chuuya hurt and Dazai angst after Chuuya takes a bullet for Dazai while they're on their way to hiding in a safe house after some canon-divergeant events)

Paces (series) by writingfromtheshadows (T, 13k total, no ability medieval AU with prince Dazai and personal guard Chuuya. Open ending. It's about the yearning)

otherwise you can check out my #bsd fanfic tag to see if something strikes your fancy there o7