hopelessdazai

[hopelessdazai]

hey new followers! just to let you all know my main blog is @lacunazai ! I post thirsts / drabble ish things more often there and I recently stopped reblogging stuff I do to here. obviously i'll keep all my long writings here, if that's what you followed for. but! - this is for those who don't know! :)

HOWEVER! i have a kitsunezai series in the works. so I hope you will all stay tuned for that.

[hopelessdazai]

✿ 》 To Hold or Be Held?

╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; writing witj this many characters was scary . pls ignore any typos or errors or mischaracterisation im learning. reblogs appreciated!!

╰⧼ ☀️ features.. ⧽ ; Chuuya, Dazai, Atsushi, Akutagawa, Nikolai, Fyodor, gn!reader ( fem terms in fyodors and mentions of boobs in nikolais parts )

╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; fluff, cuddles, all those nice things, nikolai being nikolai, possible mischaracterisation

dazai

dazai doesn't have a preference. he enjoys both being held and holding you for the same reason. when he's holding you, he's holding on tight - part of him is still scared you're gonna leave him if he gets too comfortable. and if you're holding him he always finds himself melting into you, his hands shakily gripping at your clothes as he smothers himself against your chest. he adores how your hands find his hair and comb through it. if he puts all his weight onto you, you can't go anywhere, right?

".. 'm sorry .. don't get up, just five more minutes. I'll be good ..- you're warm .. 'm sorry.. "

chuuya

chuuya prefers to hold. be adores the feeling of you in his arms, it makes him feel like he's protecting you from the known - blanketed by his strong embrace. he traces 'I love you's on your back knowing you're too comfortable and sleepy to know what he's writing - his thumb writes his name into your hip when you think he's just rubbing circles. little possessive things like that, just to quietly manifest that you stay with him. he can press a gentle kiss to the top of your head and tease you for being so clingy ; even though he's holding you tight too.

".. you need the bathroom? .. you can hold it, jus' stay with me for a while longer .. I love you .. pretty thing you are .."

atsushi

atsushi prefers to hold. while he won't ever deny being held, usually he finds himself pulling you on top of him to keep you in his embrace while he takes a nap. your head on his chest and his arms resting around your waist, while he gently purrs to soothe you to sleep with him. he hasn't been able to take solo naps since you've been around - and he knows you enjoy resting with him too, anyway. so what's the harm when he tugs you over to the detective agency couch and asks you to take a quick break? you've both been working hard , after all.

"let's have a quick break, okay? we can stay finish everything later .. you're gonna exhaust yourself out, sweetheart .. just 10 minutes .."

akutagawa

akutagawa prefers to be held. he'll never admit it to anyone, especially not to you. but you can see the way he relaxes and sinks into you when you wrap your arms around him. the way he takes a long exhale and his shoulders deflate as your hand traces a certain spot on his back. he likes listening to your heartbeat, he likes knowing you're alive and with him for who he is - and not what he can do. he's still learning to love and to trust, but it's a little easier when it's by your side. he hopes you wont leave him, he'll work to impress you as he grows.

".. what? no, I'm not falling asleep. you're imagining things. you .. mm .. can you do that again ?"

nikolai

nikolai doesn't have a preference. he's like a big dog, despite his size he'll absolutely lay himself on top of you and nuzzle into your chest. if you have boobs then he won't be moving for a while, so kiss your oxygen goodbye. whenever he wants to hold you, he's not really one to ask ; he'll just drag you over onto him or use a portal to drop you into his lap, then he's clinging to you and whining desperately whenever you try to leave. he's just big and clingy, but can you fault him? he finds you so comforting.

" .. where are you going? no! you can't leave .. do you not love me anymore ?.. why do you wanna leave !.. just stay with me .. thank you .."

fyodor

fyodor prefers to hold. if neither was an option, it'd most likely be that. but he regularly asks you to come sit on his lap while he works. a small whistle as he turns his chair, patting his thigh - and he'll wrap an arm around you to keep you close. he's not too affectionate, and too much touching before your marriage repulses him. but he'll learn to deal with these little moments for a while - it gives him his energy back and helps him with a little push to finish his work so you rest together.

" .. зайчик .. come here. no, I'm not finished. just come. don't be disobedient , now .. there we are. good girl."

[hopelessdazai]

✿ 》 the bed is a nice place to be, but it's time to get up now.

╰⧼ 🍂 note.. ⧽ ; I'm really hoping this does well , I'm quite proud of it. I dotn expect it to get far because its not smut but please share it around !! I love u <3

╰⧼ 🍘 features.. ⧽ ; dazai x gn!reader. WC ; 2.7k

╰⧼ 🕰 contents.. ⧽ ; angst, references and mentions of self harm, references to potential eating disorders, mentions of spiders, dazai is a pessimistic bastard,

the night was always calming. always quiet. always cold enough for the breeze to allow for any physical feelings to run through the body - the tingles across skin and the chill air that almost cuts the cheek.

dazai liked the night. and laying in the grass of an empty park at 3 in the morning wasn't as unusual to him as it would be to an outsider.

who are you?

that was the question. always what ran through his mind. who are you? not his name, not his hobbies. him. to define and determine himself. what was he? who was he? how was he supposed to know?

not human - was his response. always the same, as repetitive as it was. humanity was a struggle, to know when to let yourself feel, and to know when to stop. those unspoken standards seemed to be known by everyone but him.

was he strange for never letting himself feel at all? or would people understand it was easier? difficulties between people - to be misunderstood was his greatest phobia. one to face on the daily. why was it so difficult? so difficult to know?

the grass brushed against his cheek, it was quiet. brunette curls that framed his face now swept back. dazai closed his eyes. maybe he needed the tranquility, maybe he needed to run from it all.

the playground was the best place to be for him. he had never been allowed to step foot in one before - always told he was too mature to need it. he avoided them in the daytime, the sounds of children laughing and playing pretend made his throat sting.

memories and feelings were difficult things to seperate. a sense of nostalgia was something dazai never got a positive thought about. all that was known was violence - and he only felt like a child again when his hands were wrapped around a gun.

he didn't need to play. if he thought hard enough, maybe that younger version of him would leave his chest. maybe it would allow itself to pretend beyond being happy. to be a sailor, a pilot, a knight in heavy armour. to have what it never could grasp. to replace the heavy mind.

pretending was easy, believing was the hard part. it always has been the difficult part. if dazai was to change anything about himself, he'd make himself more gullible. maybe if he pretended hard enough, he'd believe in himself too.

was it so wrong to want to feel human? was it so wrongful to hope for a regular moment? would anyone believe him if he asked?

maybe he just wished to be his own puppeteer. to hold the strings instead of feeling them only wrapped so tightly around his wrist, to know what the weight of a lessened burden felt like. to know a difference from the blood that dripped when the strings cut too deep - when they were tugged too hard.

dazai liked the night. to think about these things without anybody nagging him, that was his wish. the quiet in the air, the smell of the residue of once was during daylight. it was always so quiet.

but you'd changed that.

footsteps through the grass, they interrupted his thinking. opening his eyes to sit up and glance at you. why would somebody else be here? brainrotting about what'd lead someone to where he laid now wasn't a known public hobby. much less in a park.

"..Are you okay?"

the question comes so foreign to dazai. are you okay? how could he even find a response? how long had it been since anyone had asked him that? you were a stranger, and he'd call a bluff against boredom if you didn't have a concerned tone to your voice.

"Don't I look okay?"

he responded. even in the dim light, he noticed the way your eyes widened. if he didn't feel so heavy, he would've put more energy in to smile. to give you the act he put on to any other human being seemed so tiring. and you had to be at least drunk if you were out this late at night anyway.

you don't reply for a moment. dazai picks up on your silence. the wind brushing through his hair like a mothers comforting hand. its the closest he could get to physical affection in his adult years. he'd close his eyes and hum a broken melody to pretend if the unwanted presence of your being wasn't in his mind.

"Who are you?"

who is he. are you trying to kill him?

it's dazai's turn to not respond. russet eyes glancing at yours for only a moment. he couldn't make out any of your features - it was too dark. he would've liked it, usually. but thats when he was on his own. he wasn't used to not being on his own.

what response did you want? what were you expecting to hear? his name? an occupation? the question was so simple - so commonly used and so easy to answer. yet he couldn't. who was he. he didn't want you to know his name, anyway.

you were just a stranger. a stranger standing in a park playground with only the moonlight with enough energy to smile at you. with only the stars to show you all the energy they had. was it depressing? was he being too wasteful?

"I'm not sure." Dazai chuckled, the answer wasn't right, but it was all he could come up with. he wasn't sure - and he never recalled ever being so. maybe that was what made him so different. he'd never had a stable identity, never a real idea of himself.

you don't seem upset with him. nor even slightly mad. it takes him by suprise, if it was anybody he'd known they would've asked for a firmer answer. if it was anybody else, maybe they would've told him who he was.

but you weren't anybody else. you weren't anybody he'd known. you were just a stranger. dazai didn't like that word - but if there was any other term for you, it wasn't coming to him.

he sighed, his breath causing a puffed cloud of white. he hadn't realised just how cold it was, it's not like he was in his own body anyway. his mind was somewhere else, somewhere so far. somewhere he felt safer. he just didn't know where that was to find it.

"We can start with why?" you speak, your tone is hesitant. he hopes he isn't scaring you, he's tired of being scared of. "Why are you here?"

that question isn't any better, either.

would he tell you? was his chest light enough to know if you'd be safe with knowing about him? he didn't know you enough to know if you were worth learning how to answer these questions for.

"To think." Dazai responded, short and simple. it wasn't anything you'd be cared about anyway, maybe it would turn you away. maybe you'd leave. the thought of holding someone else's emotions in your chest with you would surely turn and let him rest. the idea of becoming moss was appealing.

you tilt your head, and he flinches as you step closer and sit beside him. how long had it been since he's sat beside someone like this? how long had it been since he allowed himself to simply exist alongside another?

something about it made him feel more lonely, but he tried to swallow that back.

you don't say anything, simply staying beside him. dazai mentally thanks you for a moment, for not assuming the worse and running. he's sure you're afraid. but so was he.

"I think I read somewhere you shouldn't think too hard about anything after 9pm." you state. it takes him everything not to laugh. had you been gullible? or were you not aware how the world worked? everything continued to run after 9pm. the world didn't stop for anybody, no matter how much they begged.

"Is that so?" The brunette hummed, "That's a rather foolish ideal."

he smiled lightly at the way you squinted. surely you'd agree if it wasn't for such a strong hatred of an outside nihilism.

"Must you be so depressing?" You reply. it catches him so strongly off guard, he finds his breath getting caught in the back of his throat. must he? It's not like he'd practiced any different. you didn't know him to know that. you didn't know to lie to him, or to grin and bare it.

you didn't know dazai.

the thought seems to reach his heart before his mind. you didn't know of him, you didn't know him. to you, he was some strange man laying in a park playground after dark. he wasn't a mafia prodigy to be afraid of, he was just a strange human being.

he doesn't need to be who he knows. you won't need to laugh his words off and know it's what he's always like. you did not know dazai osamu, and you had no idea about his actions or principles.

he nods, mumbling a vaguely sounding sorry. you're right, he shouldn't be so depressing. you didn't know it was commonly just his thing.

"You don't have to be verbal about it."

Dazai looked over at you after you'd spoke, part of him was hoping you'd look back. but your eyes seemed to be focused on the stars above. he would've punched himself for having expectations. he didn't deserve those.

he doesn't recall being verbal about any problems in his entire life. he didn't recall being genuine enough to even listen when he tried to show things physically. feeling like a burden was one thing, but being told was another.

this was the first time in a long while dazai hadn't known what to say. no joking around, no useless puns. and it surely wasn't any appropriate hour for a pickup line.

"..Then what do you think I should do?" He asks you. a shiver runs along his skin, and he cringes at how childish he sounds. dazai had always known what to do - maybe it was time for osamu to try and learn something.

"What do I think?" You look at him. he swears he feels his breath catch at the look in your eyes. he doesn't take it upon himself to analyse what's in them. he just appreciates a gaze that isn't entirely hateful. one that isn't laughing at a lack of knowledge. it's the most humanised he'd ever felt.

"Remember to eat three meals a day, I think. one is okay, if you can't manage that many."

dazai thinks for a moment, his eyebrows reaching a frown. he spent most of his time at home in bed - it was comfortable, a place to ignore and rot. problems didn't need to be solved when he could have a sheet around him and his eyes closed just long enough to convince himself he'd passed away.

maybe he'd have pasta for dinner.

"You can appriciate the rain too." you continue, and it almost shocks him solid to know you're paying him so much mind without asking for anything in return.

"Many people associate rain with misery. but its a wonderful thing. it waters all the plants, it can remind you how lucky you are to not have to be in it."

lucky? dazai didn't think he was lucky. sometimes he'd go out in the nighttime rain with only a coat and a short sleeve t-shirt. to lay down in the park like any other day, to unravel his bandages and feel such a raw sensation on his arms. the chill of the water felt nicer then the punishment intended to a blades edge.

maybe he could appriciate that. to know it was optional - to know it was welcoming enough to let the bugs and the clouds see him at his most vaunrable. the grass suddenly felt like a warm hug despite the cold.

nobody speaks for a moment. nobody has to. he doesn't expect anything of you - and you do not expect anything of him. it's a comfortable silence. one dazai does not feel obligated to fill.

you sit that way for a while. dazai feels a strange sensation in his chest for every second longer you exist with him. why were you doing this? he could easily hurt you, he could easily be somebody dangerous. he's always been somebody dangerous.

but you don't seem afraid. you seem comfortable.

why are you so comfortable? why aren't you afraid?

dazai's hand brushed against the grass. enjoying how it moved under the pads of his fingers - letting himself smile at the thought of all the bugs being so curious about what he was. to them he was human, to them he was like any other child they must scuttle from to hide.

he was somebody to hide from. but being so similar to that of a child ; something that was so foreign to him. something about it made him glad to be here. glad to be existing alongside, glad to learn things from you.

maybe he'd go to the cafe and get a sandwich for lunch.

he felt you shift, looking up to see you. your eyes on his, just like he'd expected before. neither of you look away for a moment. were you curious? did you see his movement and wonder what he was doing?

"...There's bugs in the grass." dazai mumbled. and you laughed.

you laughed.

he looked away, his cheeks heating up. a sense of embarrassment washing over him. was it that funny? was it effortlessly wonderful? he didn't even mean to cause a reaction out of you. but he adored the sound.

"There's bugs everywhere." you say, your voice calmer. he misses the sound almost instantly. "In grass, in houses, on the concrete we walk. they're lovely little creatures, and many don't even mean any harm. they all help us"

all? he winces. dazai doesn't remember the last time a mosquito bit him in an act of trying to assist him. he didn't remember a mosquito biting him at all - ever since the bandages started to appear over his skin more it'd spare him of the itch. but that was besides the point.

most creatures that seemed scary meant well, didn't they? those spiders everybody seemed to scream over - they were just like any human being. most of them try to get by, they keep fly populations slim. its how they look that made them so cursed, that made people so afraid. they were misunderstood.

dazai felt like a spider sometimes.

maybe you weren't laughing at his childishness. perhaps you weren't even curious. for to people watch without a reason wasn't unheard of. he just hoped you weren't there to judge him. it'd be while before he felt so comfortable with another stranger.

you don't speak for a while. neither does he. how strange it was to grieve someone who was still alive.

"It's getting late." you mumble after a while, standing up. he notices the way you brush the grass off your clothes, how you glance down at him for a second too long - his cheeks felt warm as he shifted focus back to the stars. he doesn't respond verbally, simply letting out a hum.

the night doesn't feel any warmer, dazai knows that. the temperature hasn't changed from the moment he left his messy apartment to go to the park in the first place. but there was an odd weight in his chest for once - one he couldn't quite identify. maybe you'd left fingerprints there, he thought.

"You should get back." He looked up at you, regretting the words almost immediately as soon as they left his scarred lips. he didn't want you to leave, you couldn't come, change his perspectives, and leave. it wasn't fair, it just wasn't fair.

could he manage cereal for breakfast?

"Goodnight, I hope you feel better in the morning." You smile - and it's so sincere. dazai suddenly had the urge to rip his chest open. feel better? as if. though he smiles in return, holding a hand out to you. he hopes they aren't too calloused.

"um- osamu. It's been a pleasure."

watching someone walk away had never been difficult. watching someone leave was something he should've been used to. so why did this ache so badly? he looked at his palm, the tingle of your warmth still radiating. it makes him feel sick - he runs his hand through the grass once more.

he hoped to never learn your name. to have a title to miss, a name to carve into his heart, would make it all the worse.

maybe he'll skip tomorrow's meals again after all.

tags ; @walking-simp , @rusmii , @bellodazai , @zestylemonsz , @himikoslove , @bananaede ,

[hopelessdazai]

happy to introduce that The Polycule™ has now opened an official dark content writing network!!

@portmafiahq

I'm not sure how to make introduction posts for something like this , but we've worked very hard on it and it'd be lovely to have some applications in !!

it's multi fandom, so whether you write for bungo stray dogs, jujutsu kaisen, wuthering waves or even undertale if you're that desperate. anything along the sorts, we'd be happy to see you!

be warned it is a DARK CONTENT blog. so antis and minors do not interact. we accept all kinds , of course. make sure you read the guidelines before anything else.

[hopelessdazai]

ooh nooo a demon in the houusee. ( nsfw under the cut )

you summon him one night accidentally, maybe you're messing with your friends, maybe you were testing some stupid book you found. either way, you didn't expect it to actually work, magic isn't exactly the most common thing. and summoning a demon seems like it should've been more complex.

he could leave at any time, you both know that. but something about you gets him so infatuated that he cant help but stay. he can't help but tease you to see how you react to the things he does. he can't help but hide your essentials to watch the way you frantically look around. he finds you cute, like a shiny new toy.

chuuya is completely affectionate with you most days, curling himself beside you whenever you lay down to sleep at night. resting his head on your abdomen and purring as he watches you fall asleep. something in him is urging him to protect you, to follow you around. to do anything for you.

the way you stirr in your sleep, the little sounds you make as you nuzzle into the pillow. the hand you subconsciously rest on the back of his head and the way you scratch his scalp as your eyes remain shut.

he waits a night. just one, any longer and he'd be too desperate. it's a miracle he could contain himself for this long already. chuuya was never afraid of being direct, but something made him too scared to tell you his wants. deciding it'd be easier to just take them instead.

crawling over you while you rest, taking a moment to appriciate the way you sleep so peacefully, the blissful look on your face as you dream. he hopes you're dreaming about him, he hopes to consume all your thoughts and leave you with only him.

he doesn't bother to fully unclothe you, nipping at your neck while his claws tear at your pyjama shorts and underwear, inhaling your scent deeply as he gently spreads your thighs. he could easily get addicted to this. and fuck was he thankful his eyes could see in the dark.

his pupils flit up to check your expression. smiling as he sees you still asleep. he has to be fast, he knows you'd wake up from something like this. dipping his head down to lick a single stripe up your sex, subconsciously purring at the taste. damn his addictions. he wanted this to be a one time thing.

he was already needy, tugging his cock out to line it with your entrance. prepwork was important, he knew that. but there was no time for anything like that. he could just take it slow, shouldn't be too difficult, right?

the sentence leaves his mind when he bottoms out, his jaw falling slack as he desperately bites back a groan. being vocal in bed had never been a con until now. but he'd be damned if you woke up because of something like that. his claws dug into your waist as he rolled his hips, letting out little gasps and splutters as he choked everything back.

he could see the way you started to squirm, how your legs hooked around him. he could pass it off as a wet dream in the morning. he could call you cute and lie. saying humans are strange while they rest. chuuya noticed the way your eyes squeezed tightly shut, he wasn't gonna last long like this, you're adorable.

the knot at the base of his cock was unbearably painful, cussing under his breath as he managed to push it inside of you. his thighs tremble as he fills you, letting out little shushing sounds and caressing your cheek as you let out a whine.

he'd help you out in the morning. but for now - he rests his head on your chest and listens to your heartbeat, feeling the way even in your sleep you wrap your arms back around him gently. you're his human, he was staying with you forever.

[hopelessdazai]

Hey so like your newest angsty Dazai fic broke me emotionally and your gonna pay for my therapy/j

On an actual side note tho it was written so goddamn beautifully, your doing gods work dearest author 🙏🏾

dkahdkaj thank you!!! I'm glad it was so well recieved. I was worreid nobody wld like it or it wldnt be angsty enougg ☠️☠️

[hopelessdazai]

✿ 》 Will you talk to me again?

╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; I don't expect this to do well because its not smut but it'd be nice !! reblogs appreciated, support your creators :)

╰⧼ ☀️ features.. ⧽ ; dazai x gn!reader, WC ; 784

╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; angst, reader isn't alive, letter from dazai. he's trying very hard to keep himself stable but it's not working™.

To my dearest ______ .

It's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you don't mind me writing to you like this, it's simply been too long. I'm sure you're still angry at me, so seeing you physically isn't my best interest right now! haha, I'm sorry. you know I'm just joking around, don't you? I'd love to see you in person. I'm sure you would've punched my arm if you heard me out loud right now, wouldn't you? I'm glad I'm spared of the bruises.

what does someone put in a letter? that's what I was asking myself before I even began writing. I decided that the best way to do something like this was to just write whatever I feel true as pen touches paper. I hope it makes sense to you, at the least. if I'm pouring my heart out on some paper only for it to be misunderstood, it feels like a waste, no?

though, i'd be lying if i said it wouldn't be rather cute to see you try to fathom what I mean. did you know you scrunch your nose like a bunny sometimes when you're reading? I'm sure you're doing that now too. you'll get wrinkles very at this rate ..

but anyway, I managed to prank kunikida the other day! you remember that hair dye trick I'd told you about? I managed to break into his apartment and swap out his shampoo, at last! he came into work the next day with black hair, it was hilarious, you should've been here! he was so angry with me. beat me black and blue!

oh, _____. I got a new heated blanket for our bed, you know? it took a while to save up for it, and I had to cut out some other necessities, sure. but it makes everything so much better! I hate cold beds, I'm sure you know that better then anyone. haha, back before we moved in together when I'd break into your apartment and crawl into bed with you. I'm sorry for the amount of locks I broke, but your place was so cozy!

... you know, it's been really hard without you here. I miss you so painfully, and I don't mean to call into the void without even an echo, but its killing me to pretend I'm fine about any of this. I'm not fine with this, how am I supposed to be? I wish it was just a bad dream.

I don't want to have to write letters to you anymore, ______. I don't want to have to buy heated blankets to try and stop my arms from aching for your warmth. I don't want you to be angry with me, I'm sorry I didn't apologise to you before you were gone. I shouldn't have been so stupid.

i had so many words on my mind that I was too afraid to say. maybe if I faced myself and told you 'I love you' it would've stopped you leaving.

have you met odasaku yet? has he told you any stories of his time? I wish I could hear your voice again. I wish you could answer my questions. even to hear you scoff at my stupidity again would heal me. I'm sorry I was annoying, I just wanted your attention. it stings knowing I'll never get it again.

I can't keep repeating to myself that you're not gone. I can't keep buying your perfume and pretending that you're in the next room over. your pillow doesn't smell like you anymore.

I wish I could apologise properly. I wish I could've stopped you from leaving the house that night. I wish I could kill myself to join you and yet I know we won't cross paths again in the afterlife. you were always too good for me, ______. i was nothing compared to you.

i picked up a homeless dog yesterday. you'd always wanted a puppy, I'm sorry I never let you bring one home. I named it after you. im trying to get used to them, I promise. if I couldn't save you, I'll save your name.

I'm sorry. if I continue writing, my throat will hurt more. its strange, isn't it? crying makes your throat sore. I forgot what it was like for a while, I remember laying in your arms wondering if I'd ever have a reason to cry again. now I can't seem to help myself.

keep your wings clean for me, white looks good on you. its a shame you couldn't wear the wedding attire i wished to see you in one day. you would've looked amazing.

I'll write again, missing you is the greatest honor.

sincerely, your osamu.

[hopelessdazai]

✿ 》I'll have you muzzled and caged, ill put you right in your place, you want it.

╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; this was in my drafts for a period . I actually finished it tho so be proud of me ( reblogs appreciated !!! )

╰⧼ ☀️ features.. ⧽ ; beast dazai x gn!reader x beast chuuya ( reader is afab but only a cunt is mentioned ) WC : 1.5k

╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; smut, petplay, buttplug (but it isnt used), handcuffs, chuuya is soft and dazais a little of a dick, it kinda gets right into it so be warned, actual smut begins after the divider.

“..puppy ears?”

the velvet headband was clutched between your fingers. a gift box on the table in front of you from the boss of the Port mafia. Dazai, your personal trainer. He didn't reply at first, simply smiling down at you - before stepping beside you and taking a layer of crinkled tissue paper off.

“There's a tail in there too.”

and that there was. your eyes caught specifically on the glint of a metal plug on one end. He would pull a stunt like this, you thought. to the side was a bone gag, a crystal white with a pink ribbon to tie around your head. shit, and there's matching handcuffs? How much was in here? You look up at him for a moment, your mind reeling.

he'd said you worked like a dog before this, but wasn't this a little self indulgent?

“..is this a joke?” You look up at him. wishing for some resemblance he was holding back a laugh. hoping this was some gag to mock you, that you don't have to actually wear these things. but there was nothing but a smile.

“a joke? I don't think so.” he hummed, taking the headband out of your hands and gently placing it into your hair. “I picked colours that would suit you, you know? it'd be a shame if you were to waste my money and not make use of them.”

you scoff, picking out the tail and holding it idly in your hands. It was soft. nothing you would've been into, nor what you'd wear for your boss when you're in the damn mafia. and for a moment you found yourself wondering if quitting without a notice was allowed here.

“I can help you put everything on.”

a laugh escapes your throat, one which you couldn't stop the bubble from popping. He had to be kidding, there was just no way someone like him had the nerve.

But he wasn't laughing, he wasn't even smiling anymore.

shit, he was serious.

“I discussed it with chuuya beforehand,” He begins, walking around the desk to sit himself down, one leg crossing over the other. “He wishes to see you in the getup too, if you don't mind.”

“This wasn't in my contract.” You frown, placing the tail on the table - the plug end making a small clatter. “When i signed up to work here, there wasn't anywhere that said I needed to prance around in sex wear.”

“Did you not read the fine print?”

there was a fine print?

you hesitate, shaking your head. “I don't see how that matters. this has to be some human rights thing ..” your voice trails as the door to the office opens, familiar ginger hair in your peripheral vision as he strolls over to stand beside you, giving you a smile. you smile back.

“Chuuya, it seems we're having some obedience problems..” Dazai begins, his hands coming to rest in his lap. “the outfit we so carefully chose for them, they refuse to wear. isn't that cruel?..”

You glance at Chuuya, and he looks back for a moment. no words are shared. but there's a mutual understanding of why you might be hesitant - a human response.

Dazai continues, “You've always spoken about wanting a dog, haven't you, chuuya? and you've certainly spoken more than once about wishing how (name) was with us during our sessions.”

Chuuya chokes on his spit, there's a strange silence afterwards.

“..I suppose.” He mumbles, crossing his arms and looking away from the both of you. Dazai stands up, walking around the desk to where you are. His hand rummages in the box for a moment, taking out a collar and clipping it around your neck.

“It suits them. don't you think, chuuya?”

he turns to look at you, mumbling something under his breath as he steps forward to twist the collar to suit your neck better. you mentally thank the fact you're stuck between two people who even each other out, at the least.

Chuuya gently pulls you close by the waist, holding your hands behind your back as he nuzzles himself into the crook of your neck. you feel dazai clip the handcuffs around your wrist, all happens without a word spoken.

The gingers lips encase a small area of your neck, gently sucking as you let out a light whine. you feel dazai slip closer behind you, his hands on your hips and an unmistakable bulge pressed against the curve of your ass.

shit, what have you gotten yourself into?

you would've done more if your hands weren't tied, and if you could do anything but let out a guttural moan as chuuya's tongue collected the slick off your cunt, you're sure you would've asked them to be gentle.

you blinked a hazy eye open, met with dazai's tip smearing precum against your cheek. a smirk on those lying lips of his. bastard. the clasp from the bone gag in your mouth clicked open, dropping to the floor with a thud. It almost made you flinch.

“Now, do you promise to behave?” The brunette hummed, his voice an almost patronising sing-song tone. You felt Chuuya grip your hips from behind, pulling you back onto his face. it prevented you from having any response but a whine. Dazai simply scoffed, slapping your cheek before forcing your lips apart with his thumb ; resting it on your molars. your drool escaping the side of your mouth.

“I expect a response when I speak to you.”

you did try, but with chuuyas tongue deep inside you and with dazai's thumb in your mouth, you could barely even think straight, let alone make any stupid promises.

“you're giving me the silent treatment, hm?.. bad dog ..”

you let out a whine, shortly cut off as the back of your throat was blocked by Dazai's cock. your nose pressed against the bush of pubes he hadn't even bothered to shave. He stayed deep as you gagged and your throat closed around him, your eyes tearing up.

“there we are..” He muttered, gripping the back of your head behind your faux puppy ears, forcing you to take his cock into your mouth as he practically used you as a human fleshlight. you could barely even let out any sound, your airflow practically fully cut off as your throat was rammed full.

chuuya’s thumb swiped your clit, rolling gentle circles that contrasted the brutal pace dazai used your throat in. it was just too much, letting out sounds you didn't even know you were capable of making. drool glossing your lips as tears run down your cheeks. your mascara had to be ruined.

“hah- look at you. pretty little thing .. the sounds you're making now ..” Dazai whispered, a low rumble of a chuckle leaving his throat. “It’s the smartest I've ever heard you be, you know?.. keep making noise for me, just like that..”

the rustle of fabric behind you as chuuya laid himself down under you, gently rubbing circles on your ass as your thighs shake from keeping yourself up.

“sit down f'me. be a good pup.” you hear him mumble. and you can feel his temper grow as you hesitate, dazai tugging on your hair hard enough for you to look up at him, eyes glazed over from tears.

“You were given an order, were you not? sit. down.” you gradually obey, feeling chuuyas mouth enveloping your wet cunt again.

it's too much, everything is too much. dazai’s pace on your throat increases, the gasps leaving his throat become louder. as do the shaky grunts against your clit as chuuya makes lewd slurping sounds, obviously to provoke the room further. you can barely even fucking breathe, the knot in your stomach is so tight. so close.

“swallow.” Dazai mumbles, letting out an involuntary whimper as he buries himself deep in your throat, the bitter taste of his cum of which you had no choice but to swallow down. and you swear you might drown in it, almost blacking out as you cum on chuuyas tongue.

everything is quiet for a while, save for the sound of heavy panting coming from both you and dazai. chuuya crawls out from under you, wiping his mouth from your fluids and leaning back slightly. you can see the wet patch on his slacks, he came untouched from taste alone?

“That's better..” dazai mumbles, pulling his cock out of your mouth and letting go of your hair, not sparing a shred of sympathy as your front half hits the ground. your body stings, the exhaustion hurts. you can't process anything other than chuuyas warmth as he gently tugs you into his lap, your head to his chest with his hand running through your hair.

he's always been gentle with you, anyway.

“well, I think that was a rather productive usage of our time, no? wouldn't you agree, chuuya?” dazai looked down at the pair of you, a smile on his lips. You couldn't speak, your throat hurt. But chuuya pressed a gentle kiss to your temple and nodded.

“I certainly enjoyed it.”

[hopelessdazai]

Temptation

Pairing:Yan!Chuuya x gn!reader(no agab)

Warnings:smut, noncon, somno, drugging, implied kidnapping, masturbation, obsessive behaviour

Notes:You never really realise the kind of perverted shit you've written until you have to tag it huh

He can reprimand himself all he wants, but Chuuya can't resist you.

This is beyond crossing the line, but what isn't these days when it comes to you? Chuuya can't sleep in the spare bedroom anymore, not without first going into his old room, the room he put you in. Seeing you lying there so peacefully, surrounded by his belongings and smelling like him, it makes Chuuya dizzy. He sits closer and closer to you each night, his touches trailing from your cheek to your shoulder, to the curve of your waist hidden below the sheets. He swallows, his mouth dry, breaths shallow, one bare hand resting lightly on your hip. Try as he might, nothing in the world can stop the fluttering of his heart... or the stirring in his pants.

Sure, Chuuya has been thinking about you when he gets off for months. Sighing and biting his lips until they're swollen, hiccuping out your name as he spills all over his fist. He hates cleaning up, afterwards. Hates knowing everything went to waste, when it should be painting your skin or pressed as deep inside you as he can get. But now that you're so close, so warm and smelling so good, stirring in your sleep and occasionally letting out a tantalising little noise, it's everything he can do to stumble back into the spare room before fisting his aching, dribbling cock. He never lasts, slumping against the door and squeezing his eyes shut, the image of you in his bed burned into his eyelids.

Eventually he can't wait until he's outside the room. He cums with his face pressed into the sheets, on his knees by bed, catching a glimpse of your peaceful face as his eyes roll back and his body trembles. His cheeks burn with need and shame as he quickly wipes the mess off himself, trying to get the sticky white off his clothes even as he's shaking from the high. But he comes back the next night, taking up his place by the bed and gasping your name like a praying man, his heart fluttering in fear and excitement every time you stir. It's electric, to be so close to you with his fingers pumping himself, imagining it's your hands, your thighs, your warm insides working him over the edge instead of his lonely fist. Chuuya can't stop now, even if he wanted to. He's never cum this hard in his life.

One night, before he brings you your dinner, he slips something into it. The same drug he used to bring you here, all those weeks ago. You won't wake up for hours. He slips under the covers next to you with his entire skin on fire, every nerve singing just from feeling the dip you make in the mattress. He lies there as long as he can, on the opposite end of the bed, breathing heavily and shaking a little. It feels so /right/ to be like this, to share a bed with you like he's dreamt of for so long, like a lover. Chuuya shifts slowly onto his side and shuffles closer to your sleeping form, careful and quiet even though he knows there's no way you'll wake up. He cuddles up to you with his heart in his throat, nuzzling against the nape of your neck and hesitantly slipping a hand around your waist before his fingers drift to your hip. Your skin is so warm, and you smell like his shampoo, and Chuuya can't stop himself from pressing a tender kiss to the back of your head before finally paying attention to the ache sitting low in his stomach.

He takes your arm, carefully, slowly, bringing it towards him until your hand is at the small of your back. You don't even react, barely readjusting your arm from the uncomfortable position. Chuuya lets out a shaky breath, tracing the palm of your hand with careful fingers before cupping it with his own and bringing it closer to his crotch, rubbing himself over his clothes with your hand.

Immediately he moans into your shoulder, his hips jerking forward involuntarily. The hand that isn't guiding yours grabs the pillow under his head and he pulls one of his legs over your own, mindlessly searching for a better angle. Chuuya whines, holding your hand tight and pressing it harder against himself as he quickly sets a pace. Even through his clothes, it feels divine, making his legs tremble with every shaky roll of his hips.

It's all he can do suppress the urge to bite you, to give in and leave dark marks all over your shoulder, give you something to wake up to. Still Chuuya rocks back and forth faster and faster at the thought, the image of you dishevelled and covered head to toe in his bruises making him twitch. There's already pecum darkening his clothes, heat surging up his spine. What would you say? What would you sound like, whining and mewling underneath him, grabbing onto him with as much desperation as he'd grab onto you? What would your voice sound like, wavering as it breaks on his name again and again?

It's that thought that sends him over the edge with a shuddering gasp, a tear slipping down his face and into the sheet. Chuuya is as tense as a bowstring, shaking as warmth pools on his clothes, his hand holding yours tight enough that his nails leave indents in the back of your hand. He lies there for a while, panting softly, feeling his heart beating wildly as he slowly relaxes and lets go of you. He rests his forehead against your back, licking his lips as his thoughts slowly become coherent. Chuuya only feels a little twinge of shame at having creamed his pants like a teenager, the warm satisfaction of his release overshadowing everything else. You're still out cold, breathing slowly and peacefully, completely unaware of the ginger curled against you and still trembling from his orgasm.

"Love you," Chuuya murmurs at last, giving your hip one last squeeze before he has to leave. "I'll be back."

[hopelessdazai]

Nikolai Gogol

🍰🌙 To Hold or Be Held

[hopelessdazai]

✿ 》 To Hold or Be Held?

╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; writing witj this many characters was scary . pls ignore any typos or errors or mischaracterisation im learning. reblogs appreciated!!

╰⧼ ☀️ features.. ⧽ ; Chuuya, Dazai, Atsushi, Akutagawa, Nikolai, Fyodor, gn!reader ( fem terms in fyodors and mentions of boobs in nikolais parts )

╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; fluff, cuddles, all those nice things, nikolai being nikolai, possible mischaracterisation

dazai

dazai doesn't have a preference. he enjoys both being held and holding you for the same reason. when he's holding you, he's holding on tight - part of him is still scared you're gonna leave him if he gets too comfortable. and if you're holding him he always finds himself melting into you, his hands shakily gripping at your clothes as he smothers himself against your chest. he adores how your hands find his hair and comb through it. if he puts all his weight onto you, you can't go anywhere, right?

".. 'm sorry .. don't get up, just five more minutes. I'll be good ..- you're warm .. 'm sorry.. "

chuuya

chuuya prefers to hold. be adores the feeling of you in his arms, it makes him feel like he's protecting you from the known - blanketed by his strong embrace. he traces 'I love you's on your back knowing you're too comfortable and sleepy to know what he's writing - his thumb writes his name into your hip when you think he's just rubbing circles. little possessive things like that, just to quietly manifest that you stay with him. he can press a gentle kiss to the top of your head and tease you for being so clingy ; even though he's holding you tight too.

".. you need the bathroom? .. you can hold it, jus' stay with me for a while longer .. I love you .. pretty thing you are .."

atsushi

atsushi prefers to hold. while he won't ever deny being held, usually he finds himself pulling you on top of him to keep you in his embrace while he takes a nap. your head on his chest and his arms resting around your waist, while he gently purrs to soothe you to sleep with him. he hasn't been able to take solo naps since you've been around - and he knows you enjoy resting with him too, anyway. so what's the harm when he tugs you over to the detective agency couch and asks you to take a quick break? you've both been working hard , after all.

"let's have a quick break, okay? we can stay finish everything later .. you're gonna exhaust yourself out, sweetheart .. just 10 minutes .."

akutagawa

akutagawa prefers to be held. he'll never admit it to anyone, especially not to you. but you can see the way he relaxes and sinks into you when you wrap your arms around him. the way he takes a long exhale and his shoulders deflate as your hand traces a certain spot on his back. he likes listening to your heartbeat, he likes knowing you're alive and with him for who he is - and not what he can do. he's still learning to love and to trust, but it's a little easier when it's by your side. he hopes you wont leave him, he'll work to impress you as he grows.

".. what? no, I'm not falling asleep. you're imagining things. you .. mm .. can you do that again ?"

nikolai

nikolai doesn't have a preference. he's like a big dog, despite his size he'll absolutely lay himself on top of you and nuzzle into your chest. if you have boobs then he won't be moving for a while, so kiss your oxygen goodbye. whenever he wants to hold you, he's not really one to ask ; he'll just drag you over onto him or use a portal to drop you into his lap, then he's clinging to you and whining desperately whenever you try to leave. he's just big and clingy, but can you fault him? he finds you so comforting.

" .. where are you going? no! you can't leave .. do you not love me anymore ?.. why do you wanna leave !.. just stay with me .. thank you .."

fyodor

fyodor prefers to hold. if neither was an option, it'd most likely be that. but he regularly asks you to come sit on his lap while he works. a small whistle as he turns his chair, patting his thigh - and he'll wrap an arm around you to keep you close. he's not too affectionate, and too much touching before your marriage repulses him. but he'll learn to deal with these little moments for a while - it gives him his energy back and helps him with a little push to finish his work so you rest together.

" .. зайчик .. come here. no, I'm not finished. just come. don't be disobedient , now .. there we are. good girl."

[hopelessdazai]

Dazai E, M, A

╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; I already did M, anon! its right here ; ☆☆☆. ( how am I supposed to format nsfw alphabet things bro ..

╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; dazai x gn reader ( both genitalia mentioned) , nsfw alphabet E and A, vague angst somehow.

E = Experience ( How experienced are they? )

- contrary to popular belief, dazai isn't too experienced. if luck finds you right ( and if he didn't bang chuuya in the mafia ) He'll probably be a virgin ! no worries though, he's a fast learner and uses it to his advantage.

A = Aftercare

- It depends on the day for dazai to be good at aftercare. sometimes he's so doting, running you a bath and gently massaging your legs in case he bent them too far. other days he just falls into you , whispers an 'i love you' and drifts to sleep. some days he needs a moment to himself, so he goes out to the balcony for a while. it's the sexualising himself thing, don't mind him.

[hopelessdazai]

✿ 》 Angelic You

╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; just a little thing because I got bored. I have a few works in progress done I'll get them out whenever I can. lord if I could work aesthetics on mobile. pleeaaase reblog my reach sucks

╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; chuuya x afab reader. so much religious stuff but we're non believers its metaphors. non descriptive sex, mentions of acts of cunnilingus. fluffy if you squint.

what did it mean to be an angel?

was it the white wings of purity, a face made to be corrupted? ears that listen to those who deceive with the kindest heart?

you were more then that.

chuuya had never been religious - in his world full of gore and bloodshed there was no time or reason to attempt pray for higher beings. he found reflection and forgiveness at his own two feet - he didn't ever want to have to beg at the foot of a throne he wasn't even sure was real.

the only time a word of the lord would leave his lips was a hiss through gritted teeth. the word plagued with pain, rage, more. whatever was expressed to him.

the first time he spoke your name, it was the closest thing to saying a gods name affectionately. you were a celestial being to him - those stupid eyes of yours which he could see a future in. stupid hands that seemed to interwine so perfectly with his.

stupid voice that sounded so heavenly when his name fell from your lips, a benediction to an unlicensed holy matrimony.

the way the soft skin on your body glistened with sweat reminded him of the glass murals he'd see in churches. the painted glass that shone into those halls. how your hands held the sheets underneath you reminded him of an angels wings when resting.

"god, fuck.. _____ .."

chuuya had never been religious - with how you tasted on his lips while he feasted and your release on his tongue, he knew he'd never need a ceremony to drink the lords blood. he had his own right here. and he knew damn well you'd taste better then any cheap wine the churches had to offer.

in the garden of eden you were his apple. you were the only one that could cause him to sin the way you did. gentle hands cradling your back as it arched underneath him. noticing the way you tugged his waist closer, deeper, as you called to the heavens.

chuuya never would be religious. but you had to be an angel. his angel. one he could catch every time with his hair tied back as you fell from the elysium you were born into.

he'd be careful with your white wings for now.

[hopelessdazai]

✿ 》The alley down near Lupin

╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; I'm so unbelievably tempted to turn this into a full series ( purely to give an excuse 2 write skk threesome ) but gimmie yalls feedback!! this one's pretty short but I had writers block so I had to shove something out.

╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; dazai x gn!reader, cheating, intoxicated makeout, brief mentions of drugging, reader is dating chuuya. everything is consensual and safe for now.

maybe you were drunk, but so was he.

his hands on your skin somehow felt colder then the winter air that you'd dipped onto an alleyway to avoid. his fingertips like icecubes, you'd wish to let them melt on your tongue if you weren't afraid of the burn in the aftertaste.

there was no words being said, if there was any that even needed to be spilt. you knew that they'd fall through like a broken hourglass anyway - there was no result in any effort.

you had your lips against his, it felt the same as any other day. but your heart stung, your veins tore at your skin and your eyes had to be shut. had to be. you couldn't let yourself process anything about the situation. you had to pretend it wasn't him.

it was consensual, that's all you'd note. lying about a strong factor such as that would only do you and him harm. and you wouldn't wish that upon anybody. maybe he'd drugged you, but you weren't sure. you'd wished he had, it'd be an excuse.

the alcohol stung, your lips stung. your hips that he gripped so tightly with a mixup between lust and love stung. you knew why it hurt, but to know means you'd have to process. and you already didn't want to do that.

dazai osamu - his hands traced to the small of your back, barely letting you pull away for a moment. you half hoped you'd suffocate in these lips. you'd never been religious, but you prayed that he'd swallow you whole and let you leave this life.

you could feel his smirk against your lips. bastard. if you weren't so intoxicated you would've slapped him. he knew the situation as well as you did, he knew how foul your mind was fogging.

and foul it was.

you opened your eyes as the top of your back felt the rough surface of the bricks he laid you on before him. catlike pupils scanning over the surface of how he'd deshrivelled you. you hated it when he looked at you like this, it wasn't right.

"you know you can't stay around me. yet you come back so longingly with your tail between your legs. it's cute." his voice cradled your ears in a way you weren't exactly comfortable with. you hated his tone. you hated everything about the situation. you hated him.

he wasn't your boyfriend. chuuya was.

you closed your eyes again, in hopes to envision your real love.

[hopelessdazai]

Sigma

🌙💌 with a virgin reader

[hopelessdazai]

Fyodor Dostoevsky

🌙💌 nsfw headcanons

🌙💌 sub fyodor

🌙💌 "their little shysexual"

🌙🍰 To Hold or Be Held

[hopelessdazai]

Chuuya Nakahara

🌙💌 nsfw headcanons

🌙🍰 night-time routines

🌙💌 "missing you" headcanons

🌙💌 foreplay headcanons

🌙💌 "their little shysexual"

🌙🍰 sleepy headcanons

🛰💌 soft sex

☄️🎲 half worth

☄️💌 angelic you

🍰🌙 To Hold or Be Held

☄️💌 "I'll have you muzzled and caged, ill put you right in your place, you want it."

Nsfw Alphabet ;

B, J, M, Z

K, L, O, Y