#afterwards he mostly just keeps to radiant garden

[sanctiichor]

Late night KH verse thots because I blame certain PEOPLE BUTTTT--

It’s more or less figuring out how Light wound up in Radiant Garden after so long of being MIA. In my HC, the Dissidia world and the other FF worlds most likely existed in the same universe and my initial thought is that, after the events of Dissidia NT, some of them didn’t even return to their worlds because they had fallen into darkness ( like Squall & Cloud’s for example ) , Light’s world ( the world of Cornelia ) was one of the last to fall, mostly due to the fact that it is protected by the light of the crystals that Light & co. had restored during the events of FFI. 

Eventually though, it too would fall and Light would be thrown into the darkness--but the darkness was never where he belonged and it’s thanks to his crystal , the one that had been bestowed to him by Cosmos in the 13th cycle, was what eventually saved him and pulled him free from the darkness. 

However, it was only just enough to save him, not his home world. 

Because of that , he was left to wander through the rifts of space, protected by the crystal seeing how he did not have access to a gummi ship at the time. Visiting many worlds in the process ( which is how he knows about Olympus Coliseum and the tournaments and all that ) 

KH timeline wise , 7 years would have already passed since his world had fallen and he still would have been trapped during the events of KH1 ( I’m going off of Leon’s age here as a sort of base since Cloud’s age is different from his canon one and here he’s technically younger than Leon ) . After Sora’s defeat of Xehanort’s heartless, Light’s crystal was finally able to gain the strength to free him and thus did his wandering journey begin. 

He wouldn’t appear during the events of KH2 either , so I wanna say he would arrive in Radiant Garden some time between post KH2 and just before DDD & KH3 , which is how he ends up establishing relations ( or reacquainting with ) old and new friends, and becoming the trainer for Lea & Kairi ( again , this is HC, so no Kairi’s and Axel/Lea’s don’t have to follow this ) and he’s for the most part, present in KH3 but he resides within the timeless realm for a majority of it, keeping out of the affairs seeing how there isn’t quite much he can do but has since reforged relations with the restoration committee ( mainly Leon, Cloud & to an extent Tifa due to them having fought together in the cycles ) 

[drazavonia]

She will no longer "Embrace Destiny"

Destiny is more often that not a goal or fate one's life is chained to. If destiny is a force of the universe, no one can "control" destiny so to speak. However someone of a higher power, domain or "providence" can change the destiny of one with lesser power, control and/or knowledge (of their own destiny).

Kairi was only four years old when Apprentice Xehanort took her, experimented on her and shipped her off of her world for two purposes apparently:

1) For her "Heart of Pure Light" to resonate with the "key bearer" and lead Xehanort to them.

2) As of Melody of Memory, apparently Apprentice Xehanort also wanted Kairi to arrive in a world of neither light or darkness which could possibly be The Final World. Ironically, this would mean he was successful on both accounts by the end of this game.

However, it's clear up above Kairi is upset and that line of "You're the one who keeps messing with my fate" implies much like how Aqua finally figured out in Kh3/Remind that Xehanort possessed Terra, Kairi will finally find out how and why she was ripped away from her grandma and home of Radiant Garden. Not only that, but it shows us she never really had a choice in how her fate was twisted and manipulated to whichever way the Xehanorts needed at the time:

- Apprentice Xehanort shipping Kairi off to Sora and Riku

- Ansem SOD/Riku sacrificing Destiny Islands causing Kairi's heart to take refuge in Sora's heart.

-Xemnas and Xehanort taking Kairi to crystalize her heart to use as a final gambit to open Kingdom Hearts.

The next lines "If it weren't for you Sora and everyone would be safe...I won't let you walk away" indicate for Sora, her friends and herself, she will no longer allow anyone control over her destiny. She has the strength and determination now to make her own destiny and fight against anyone who messes with her fate again.

This is the reason I can see Kairi getting a new keyblade.

A lot of the main characters' keyblades are symbolic of their hearts and roles within the series, as well as how they've grown and evolved over the course of their journeys.

The most obvious case being Riku.

Riku

Kingdom Key> Soul Eater

The Kingdom Key was originally meant for Riku, as he was the keyblade's chosen. But when he chose to give in to the darkness the keyblade went to Sora instead, and of course Soul Eater was a weapon of darkness given to him by Maleficent to signify his alignment with her.

Soul Eater> Way to Dawn

It's in the name.

But seriously Way to Dawn is a perfect symbol of Riku's journey of acceptance of his darkness and redemption from kh1 to kh2. The keychain is the dark heart on his "Dark Riku" form which signified his complete fall to darkness. But from the keychain upwards we see the "Gazing Eye" encircled by an angel wing and demon wing, symbolizing Riku's decision against alignment with light or darkness. Afterwards majority of the blade is the demon wing from Soul Eater largely because Riku's role within kh2 is him working from the shadows undercover as Ansem and doing his best to distance himself from his friends who walk the path of light. However at the very end, an angel wing meets the large demon wing which is symbolic of us teaming up with Riku finally, as he showcases his mastery of light and darkness alongside Sora and friends.

Way to Dawn> Braveheart

In DDD, Riku materializes Soul Eater and questions his worthiness as a keyblade wielder. He still has doubts but still continues to hold on to his true motivations being to protect Sora. Riku accepts that he can use the power of darkness while standing firmly on the side of light to protect his friends. He no longer needs to find or follow the way to dawn, because by the end of DDD came the Dawn of Riku, a Keyblade Master and Guardian of Light.

And "Braveheart" is pretty simple. Riku found the strength to protect what matters, and it's perfectly symbolized by Riku's sacrifice for Sora.

"I'm ready now, I'm in control now."

Terra and Aqua (technically Ven as well) have never left home by the beginning of BBS and throughout the game they experience trials and tribulations that challenge their friendship and we see by their Keyblades at the end the results of these trials.

Terra

Earthshaker> Ends of the Earth

Strong and powerful, after hearing Riku's motivation for strength being his friends he bestowed upon him the keyblade which reignited his devotion to his friends. This is also symbolized with Lingering Will, as that's the keyblade he's left with. He'll go to the ends of the earth to save his friends and right his wrongs.

Ends of the Earth> Chaos Ripper

Terra's devotion to protect his friends turns into rage against Xehanort for killing Eraqus, taking his home and manipulating him. Allowing darkness to further consume his heart.

Aqua

Rainfell> Stormfall

Aqua's journey mostly consist with things happening around her and to her friends. Aqua being the only master of the three and worried for their safety, Aqua does her best to assume responsibility and watch over them. Much like rain, it was a light and simple task. But Xehanort's manipulations and temptations with both Terra and Ven, increased Aqua's worry and need to have control over her friends to keep them out of danger. Unfortunately certain seeds had already been planted amongst them, causing Aqua's worry and concern to come off as patronizing and distrustful of her friends. This weakened the trust in the bonds they share making her job to protect them even more difficult and adding to the weight of responsibility she carries.

Stormfall> Brightcrest

Terra and Ventus have both lost their hearts to darkness. With Venuts sleeping in Castle Oblivion and Terra taken over by Xehanort, Aqua was their only chance of ever coming back. She was the only one who knew how to find Ventus and the only one left to defeat Xehanort once and for all. She stood tall and was willing to risk it all for her friends, she was their "light in the darkness".

Ventus

Wayward Wind + Lost Memory

Ventus' keyblade is the only one that doesn't evolve or change throughout the game. Instead Lost Memory is gained when Vanitas forces Ventus to remember how he came to be. Ventus gains a newfound acceptance for his fate with this knowledge and only cares if his friends are safe.

Axel/Lea (Dark Rescue)

Flame Liberator

Axel betrayed the organization. Axel did everything he could to keep Roxas and Xion unaware of the truth so they could live in blissful ignorance (or be happy). He saved Sora at the last minute in DDD and made it his mission in KH3 to get Roxas back. He even declared to Saix that he would bring him home as well. His keyblade represents his determination to save and free his friends from a cruel fate.

Destiny's Embrace also tells a story for Kairi, but much like how she got it, the symbolism isn't representative of her personal journey.

- The keychain of Destiny's Embrace is funny enough, a popular fruit. When two people share paopu fruits, their destinies become intertwined.

- The chain, unlike many others is a red thread in knots, most likely representative of the Red String of Destiny. The "Destiny Knot" (pokemon references ftw) is what ties two people together romantically or what ties two destinies together.

- The hilt of the keyblade is the King chess piece. The king in this case referring to Sora (Crown, Throne, Holds his keyblade like King Arthur in artwork). To me this is symbolic of how Kairi has literally held Sora's fate or destiny in her hands at certain points in the series.

• In kh1, Kairi reverts Sora back from a heartless/the darkness after sacrificing himself to restore her heart.

• In khcom, in order for Sora to regain his memories, he has to focus on his "light in the darkness".

• In kh2, it's not until after reading Kairi's letter to him that the Door to Light opens the way for Sora and Riku to return to Destiny Islands in the realm of light.

• In kh3, it's Kairi's light that keeps Sora from fading away within the demon tide and holds him together so he can save the other guardians.

- Surrounding the grip is a heart with half of it having a sea/ocean/wave aesthetic. It could be representative of Kairi's heart and the heart of her nobody counterpart Namine, whose name means wave.

- Half of the heart with the vine extending down the blade is identical to the keychains of Sora's Ultima Weapons in kh1,2,DDD,3.

The crown connects to the heart which belongs to both Kairi and Namine which makes sense because Sora and Kairi together created Namine.

- I'm not sure what the blade symbolizes aside from maybe fire because of her entanglement with Axel (doubt) or more likely the fires of Kairi's determination to improve, so she can stand by Sora and Riku.

- The flowers at the end with "logo" heart of course represents Radiant Garden. I think Nomura always planned to explore Kairi's past at some point especially with how connected it is to Union X, and that Kairi as well her grandma would be the bridge connecting the past and the present.

However, because of kh3 and most likely M.O.M, I think Kairi will quite literally be freed from "Destiny's Embrace", both Xehanort and the keyblade.

Like I said before, a lot of the symbolism for Destiny's Embrace is externally based. Mostly because Kairi never gets the chance to shine nor do we get to see what's going on inside of her head. Some of this is also because of Kairi's reluctance to bring up her past trauma when asked about it.

• Sora is gone, no need to be a plot device/motivation for him. Instead it's the other way around.

• Namine is her own person now.

• Melody of Memory will finally tackle and resolve Kairi's past.

Everything Destiny's Embrace represents will be resolved by the end of Melody of Memory. So just like how Riku completed his Darkness character arc by the end of DDD and got Way to Dawn replaced by Braveheart as a symbol of his newfound growth, either by the end of M.O.M or in KH4 Kairi will be rid off all of the things holding her character back from truly growing on a narrative and meta level and the keyblade that symbolizes all of those things:

Destiny's Embrace

*This is the other part of the Melody of Memory sticker post.

(Credit to Hartmann-lionhart for their Destiny's Embrace/Ultima Weapon Analysis)

[magpiemorality]

On the fifth day of Christmas

Logan, Virgil, Patton & Roman, Human!Poly!AU, 5+1 proposals

FIVE GOLD RINGS

5.

Logan's first attempt at proposing to his boyfriends was planned months in advance. He had never really been the one to instigate any part of their relationship, and he wanted this situation to be different. He planned and plotted and planned some more until he had a rock-solid idea that couldn't possibly be faulted; they would go to Disneyworld in December and after the fireworks show in the privacy of their hotel he would propose. He had the rings ready to go, sized perfectly, and the other three were crazy excited for their vacation- what could go wrong?

Well- he thought to himself as he sat drenched in the courtyard with a foil blanket and the staff buzzed around frantically- apparently a lot of things could. Including, but not limited to; Patton getting food poisoning and having to head home early, Roman locking himself in the bathroom and setting Virgil off in a panic attack, the room above theirs flooding through the ceiling, Patton being forced to vomit into a bin and nearly making Logan throw up from the smell, and the fire alarm going off shortly afterwards.

Somehow, after the whole debacle was sorted and they were collapsing gratefully into their new room to get some well-deserved sleep, it didn't quite seem like the right moment to go ahead with the proposal, and Logan tabled the idea for a better time.

4.

Logan's second attempt was even more thoroughly planned. He'd rented out a boat for Patton's birthday and double and triple checked that the caterer was top notch and the plumbing was all up to snuff (the boat company had been a bit surprised by that query but they'd provided the MOT happily enough).

They piled on with their cases, oohing and aahing and complimenting his choice. Logan smiled to himself, already pleased but imagining the reaction to the lavish dinner and proposal to follow that evening. It was bound to be even better than his previous idea could have been- it was far more private on the boat and the stars were out in full force. No one to bother and no one to be bothered by. What could go wrong?

He was going to stop asking himself that question, he decided, shortly after Roman had been retrieved from the water after he'd tripped on a rope and toppled in, perhaps one glass of champagne too far in. Patton was still calming down and Virgil had taken up residence by Roman, towelling him dry and warm and glaring at anyone who tried to come and take over the job from him. Logan ended up having to do far too much paperwork over the next week to waiver any legal repercussions, because Roman hadn't even been wearing a life vest and had knowingly gone over his limit (even if he was grumbling about the lack of good lighting to anyone who would ask).

Logan just about resisted the urge to swear, and the rings went back into hiding.

3.

Logan's third plan was simple. He just could not find it in himself to put all that effort into an elaborate plan again when the previous two had gone so badly. And he refused to tempt fate by believing what he'd come up with was foolproof. They had a date night to see Roman in a show that provided the right atmosphere, and on the way back Logan was confident (cautiously) that when they got in it would finally be time to see the looks on their faces when he pulled the rings out. He hadn't even dared hope nothing would go wrong, but the mugger still showed up out of nowhere to grab Patton's bag and end up being chased by Roman and then the police were called and Virgil had to be taken home to calm down about the whole thing by Patton who also had to calm down but mostly because he was going red in the face as he puffed up and ranted threats at the poor arrested mugger, swinging his newly retrieved bag wildly.

So, that was a bust.

2.

Did the fourth time even count as a plan? He wasn't sure. A few weeks later, he was in the living room with Virgil cradled in his lap, Roman by their tangled feet singing along to Moana, Patton humming from the kitchen. When they were called in to eat he decided on a whim that now was the right moment, and headed upstairs to grab the rings.

That was when the smoke alarm went off.

Logan just sighed and put the rings back before hurrying downstairs to help.

It was his last attempt before he just sent them a text in the group chat or something. Their anniversary apparently merited a small party with some of their closest friends, and Patton had laid out a magnificent dinner spread for them all. The night was civilised- not too much alcohol; no falling over or muggers or disasters of any kind. Logan was actually a little suspicious, because hey- he had reason to be okay?

They toasted their relationship and Logan slipped away to get the rings at last as Patton and Virgil swayed together to some soft music in the living room, noses rubbing together fondly. He watched with a soft smile as he walked up the stairs, catching Roman's eye and blinding grin on the other side of the room and-

-Well he couldn't exactly blame Roman for him missing his footing and tumbling heavily down the stairs now, could he, but a small part of him really wanted to, if only to avoid the many embarrassing jokes that followed ("can't believe you actually fell for us, Specs!").

And when he was told he had to take the next few days off work to let the tiny (really, it was barely more than a sprain) fracture in his ankle heal up, he had plenty of time to consider that maybe the universe was sending him some kind of sign, and that it was time to give up and wait for someone else to inevitably pop the question first.

+1.

Almost six months after his first proposal attempt the previous Christmas, Logan was coming home late from work. It was nearly the end of term and his lectures were both ramping up and also winding down, students trying to cram as much in before they had to start studying for their finals and him trying to keep up and help them actually take it all in. It was exhausting and all he wanted was to sit down on the couch and have a good cuddle with his boyfriends.

When he got home, however, the house was uncharacteristically dark. There was a light on in the kitchen and a note on the table that directed him to the back garden, that he followed after a moment of trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

When Logan stepped outside it was simultaneously a dream and a nightmare. Because the whole garden was decked out like a fairytale; lights everywhere and his three gorgeous boyfriends dressed up and waiting for him with matching smiles. And his heart sank because he knew what this was, and like he'd predicted- someone else had got there first.

Patton's smile faltered first and he glanced at the other two hesitantly. "Um, Logan? Are you okay?" Logan shook himself and forced himself to relax, pasting on a smile. "Honey, before you say anything, just let us explain, okay?"

"We had a talk, Lo, and we realised that there was a bit of a pattern, and um,"

"And I found the hidden boxes!" Patton interrupted Roman, bouncing on his feet. "So we figured you were trying to-"

"To ask us the big question and we couldn't figure out why it was taking you so long but then-"

"But then," Virgil took over from Roman, quelling him with a look. "We realised you kept organising these beautiful moments that kept going wrong. And we figured out pretty quick that you might be a bit... frustrated with that." He stepped forwards to take Logan's hands, guiding him out into the garden proper. "So we thought, why not help you out? We're a team, after all, right?"

Logan was stunned, and still slightly confused, but he softened at Virgil's hopeful expression and nodded for them to continue. Patton moved closer, hugging his arm and resting his cheek on Logan's shoulder with a happy hum. "So we thought we'd organise this one for you, sugar pie, and here we are!"

Roman held out a handful of familiar black boxes, clearing his throat until Virgil and Patton moved back to their places spread out in front of Logan. He took the rings with shaking fingers, clearing his throat, turning first to Roman and sinking down to one knee.

And suddenly it was real. Everyone's breath caught and Logan deftly opened the right box, holding the shining band up proudly. He would never quite be able to remember what he'd come up with on the spot, but Roman's radiant smile and barely restrained 'yes' would be forever seared into his memory, along with the kiss he'd received after he'd slid the ring onto his first fiance.

When he turned to Virgil and took a knee again he heard sniffles coming from- honestly probably all of them. Virgil barely let him get a word out before interrupting with a soft, trembling 'yes' and pulling Logan up to rest their foreheads together as they other man slipped his ring on. He stepped back into Roman's arms as they watched the final perfect proposal.

Patton was beautiful in the twinkling lights. It was hardly fair, because Logan didn't have much air to begin with, but now he was dry-mouthed and gasping. They'd been together first out of all them and their history was perfect and complicated and stretched back too many years to count now. When he looked at Patton he didn't know how he could fit that into words. Patton looked back as if he understood completely, and he probably did.

"Patton, I love you. Will you marry me?" It was as good as he could manage, soft and slightly choked, and Patton just smiled before holding his finger out and promptly bursting into tears when the ring was settled into place.

It was perfect. They were perfect. And Logan was left wondering why he'd thought he could ever do this without them. Virgil was right; they were a team. And what a team.

12 Days of Sides-mas Masterpost

[darkvolley]

talk to me about ienzo spending his growing years being an emotionless husk and therefore not understanding what it means to be a person because he literally never learned out how, the years a person uses to discover themselves, establishing an identity were robbed from him, killed as a child and then waking up as an adult, how does this make you feel

Oooohhhh fuck yeah babey! Whippin' out google docs for this one. I've made so many essays on Ienzo and his emotional/mental development, or really lack thereof, and how absolutely pissed off it makes me. Like it really all just loops back around to me hating adults, but kfjvivjck here we go for the hundredth time cuz I literally cannot shut up about best boy and how tragic he is.

Okay so, like,,, we gotta start at the beginning here. Cuz Ienzo's got no parents. We don't know for sure what happened to them and if it was tragic or not and if it was we also don't know if Ienzo happened to see anything bad or not. There's just no way to know. But regardless! At some point Ienzo was taken in by Ansem the Wise. Surrounding Ienzo is Ansem, obviously, Even, who's pretty cranky and kinda egotistical, Dilan, a very uncaring guy, Aeleus, who obviously did care but clearly never did anything, and Braig, who well… regardless of if you think he was Luxu the whole time or not, is still not a good influence. So this is a small child sorta being raised by some not so perfect father-figures. Even tho Ansem cared I'm sure he was still busy a lot. Even was shown to be in charge of watching him but Ienzo did run off at one point implying him sneaking away is a common occurrence and/or Even isn't good at watching him like he's supposed to.

And let's keep in mind that even before Terranort showed up human experimentation was something that was happening in the castle. I dunno if all the apprentices were partaking in that before Terranort's arrival, but they definitely were afterward. And now we get into the beginning of the worst part.

Ienzo starts getting manipulated. Ansem the Wise's reports say the lab in the basement was a decision spurred on by Ienzo. Ansem had that lab built cuz Ienzo convinced him. A small child told his father figure that building a lab meant for human experiments would be a good idea. There's no way in hell Ienzo made that decision himself. He is a child who trusts the only adults that have raised him so far. If they tell him to do something he would likely do it. So Ienzo was manipulated(most likely by Terranort or Luxu) into manipulating what's basically his adoptive father.

Then it all just keeps getting worse! Eventually Ansem finds out what's going on in that lab in the basement. He wants it all shut down, but no one's going to listen to him. They've been too manipulated themselves by Terranort and Luxu. The other apprentices banish him to the Realm of Darkness and at some point Ienzo's going to have to know where Ansem went. So what do they tell him? They tell this little boy that his adoptive father went fucking mad. And not only that, but also that he fucking abandoned them! Just lost his mind and left them all, Ienzo included! And like, sure! They don't want Ienzo to know that they've become the bad guys, maybe they think it's the lesser of two evil explanations, but by how pained the poor man looked in 3, clearly what he was told had been eating at him for a whole decade. He'd been clinging onto that answer he was given ever since that day and realizing that he'd been lied to brought out just as many emotions as seeing Ansem return did.

And just when you think it can't get any worse, we reach the pinnacle. The day everyone became Nobodies. It was pretty much a choice everyone made. Dilan being the most willing, and Luxu apparently having no idea that was part of the plan considering his reaction. Or he at least didn't plan on getting stabbed by Terranort with his own Keyblade to make it happen. Anyway, I highly doubt Aeleus was truly okay with the whole thing without a ton of manipulation. And for Even it probably took less manipulation but, my point. Those two did need at least some manipulation unlike Terranort and Luxu. But Terranort was obviously being manipulated Luxu but that's not really what I'm talking about here. Anyway, Dilan has been proven to be just kinda shitty in general in a previous analysis of mine so I feel he was pretty much on board from the start, he just needed some talking to first.

So back to Ienzo! Again, there's no way this child willingly made the decision to become a Nobody. But, at this point the kid has lost his adoptive father, these are the only people he trusts, and he's a damn child! He is malleable and would believe whatever he's told since he believed Ansem really did abandon them. He's gonna trust that whatever becoming a Nobody means would actually be a good thing. And I doubt that even if Terranort and/or Luxu explained the whole deal to the other three that they'd also give the full picture to Ienzo.

So poor boy gets stabbed by Terranort and ends up a Nobody. At some point they go to The World That Never Was and take up home there. Zexion isn't the only kid in the Org, but Axel and Saix likely did keep more to themselves, plus they're teenagers and at this point 16/17 so they're almost adults. But anyway, he's in this new place that's all white and honestly to me feels like a stone cold prison from the atmosphere it gives off in Days.

And included in the whole ordeal is what comes with being a Nobody. Obviously we know everyone was lied to about not being able to get their hearts back without Kingdom Hearts, but they didn't know that. Zexion's just a kid and he's being told he doesn't have a heart anymore nor can he get it back unless they work on completing Kingdom Hearts. He's told he can't feel emotions without a heart, so he's going to question every little thing he feels and be in denial about it being emotions. And even tho he doesn't believe he can feel emotions, he still can. How else is he supposed to get a new heart eventually if he can't anyway?

So, like plenty of teens, Zexion gets angry that he can't control his life and he's stuck in the situation he's in now. He becomes the snarky Zexion that we all know. All his backhanded talk is his way of letting out even the smallest amount of frustration he can while not acting out in a way that'll get him in trouble with Xemnas. All his caretakers have become kinda worse people and he ends up surrounded by even more people that are kinda shitty. I mean, Luxord's pretty normal tho so he might be excluded from that. But then there's Lexaeus, who was shown to be regretful of leaving Zexion alone after he loses to Riku. It's pretty clear that he's the first person that really regrets the way everything has turned out, or who has at least expressed it at that point, and is upset that Zexion had to be apart of it all. But other than that it doesn't seem like anyone really cares for Zexion. He and Vexen have mostly been shown bickering and in the extra scene in KH2 Xigbar/Luxu seems to just like teasing Zexion. He even brought up the experiments they did which is likely a sore spot for Zexion considering everything he's been through.

And then there's the way he goes out. Getting strangled to death by Repliku on Axel's orders. I've gone over this one in detail before but if I'm gonna have everything on this post I might as well do it again in a condensed form. We don't really know the extent of Ienzo's relationship with Lea and Isa, but they had to have at least known each other when the two ended up becoming apprentices. And growing up in the Org together they had to have done missions together at least a few times and they were in meeting together and all that. Since those two were on the younger end as well, they had to have some understanding of how Zexion was feeling through it all. And yet Axel and Saix had it planned the whole time that Zexion was going to die at Castle Oblivion along with everyone else. This little kid that they'd known since their Radiant Garden days, dying like the others so they could get closer to having a chance to figure out what happened to a girl that Saix started questioning the very existence of. And then you have to wonder about how that affected Ienzo. Was there ever a moment where he was scared to see Riku again after a fake version killed him? Does he secretly hold it against Lea? Does he have nightmares of getting choked???

And after the worst of it is over, he finally wakes up and he's himself again. He's home, but during his reunion with Ansem is when we finally see the lasting effects of everything he's been through. He says he was just a boy, but he should have known better. That means all these years Ienzo believed he should have done something. Even as a child he should have been able to see past the manipulation and put a stop to it. But that's wrong. So completely wrong. He was a child while everyone else was an adult. Ienzo shouldn't have to keep all that guilt of not being able to do anything on his shoulders. It should have been the adults' responsibility to protect Ienzo. Being a child in the first place means he's prone to blaming himself and thinking everything was his fault. If only he could have seen through the manipulation, told Ansem when he was still around, or another adult not involved, or stopped them all himself then none of this would have happened. That's what he tells himself, which is so horribly wrong. And even as an adult he carries all that guilt around which means he was never able to realize that he couldn't have done much, if anything, and he shouldn't have had to in the first place. He doesn't realize it was the adults' responsibility. That's where the stunted maturity comes in. In that aspect he still thinks like a child cuz he never truly got to grow up from being one. He still has all that guilt even after eleven years.

And it all fucking kills me. That's how it makes me feel. It makes me continue to feel my life long contempt for adults that don't care for children cuz children are apparently inferior. And no matter what kids are going to blame themselves, even if they know they shouldn't. Even if they're self aware enough to know it's a thing kids just naturally do, they're still prone to it. And by God if there's anything so deeply realistic in anything Nomura has ever done, it's Ienzo's characterization. It's how real and human he is despite being a fictional character. Him and his struggles feel so real because we were all kids and so many of us have had fucked up parts of our childhood and if there's one relatable thing in Kingdom Hearts it's the guilt Ienzo has felt for eleven goddamn years and I'm gonna fuckin cry and this time it's not about the reunion scene. Ienzo just means that fucking much to me for all the bullshit he's had to unwillingly put up with cuz of crappy adults.

[square-enix-headcanons]

Scenarios in which the Organization Members and their S/O had this argument and they think that their S/O are pissed af with them bc of that, decided to leave them, and decides to get drunk.

How fitting that this one came after the drunk Org member ask o:

Xemnas

Xemnas is interesting because he doesn’t yell or anything like that

And you’re too upset to notice how his voice keeps getting colder and more emotionless

“Maybe it’s time to end this, then.”

He looks perfectly composed when he says it, though it stops you dead in your tracks

Then he opens the door and motions for you to leave. “I will have the Dusks bring your things to you tomorrow.”

Xemnas is still not really used to emotions

For a bit, he just stares out of the window

Then he has the Dusks bring him some of his favorite alcohol

And then some more

And then some more

And then some more…

The Dusks also take away the empty bottles, so it’s unclear how much he drank

He does figure out that he misses you, but he won’t try to get you back unless you talk to him first

Xigbar

Welp. This sucks.

It’s not the first time he’s fought with an S/O. And it’s not the first really bad argument either

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt

Especially since, while he has had relationships at times, he mostly tried to stay away from that kind of stuff. It’s rare for him to trust another person this much.

He’d been thinking about telling you his biggest secret, but well, now he’s glad he didn’t. And decides to end it before he gets tempted again.

Once that decision is made, Xigbar just wants to numb everything for a bit

While he could just use his powers to steal some booze, he actually teleports to a bar in a far-off world and drinks it there

And it’s pretty obvious that his plan isn’t to have a nice time or enjoy the taste or whatever; his plan is to get absolutely drunk

While he has a low tolerance, even drunk he’s very good at knowing how much more he can take before blacking out

And when he’s almost there, he just leaves, the drink he last ordered still in hand

(What are the owners and barkeeps gonna do? The chances of Xiggy ending up in that exact place of that exact world again are ridiculously slim. If the police even believe them when they say a dude teleported away without paying)

He ends up in a very remote place in some world, far away from anyone else

He doesn’t even know which world it is. Just that it’s a wide open field under the stars

He passes out there, and comes back to the castle sometime between noon the next day and evening the day after

Afterwards, he avoids you, but is kind of lowkey about it; he even tries joking around like he does with everyone, but if you pay attention, you can notice that something is different about his jokes when you’re around

Xaldin

He knew he shouldn’t have given in

He’d promised himself he would never allow “love”, and he broke that promise

And now he has to pay the price, it seems

The argument may have been dumb, but it happened, voices were raised, and a lot of bad words were said

Xaldin had compared you to his ex, for example; not exactly the best thing to do

It had taken far less to make his last relationship break apart, so he assumes the same will happen again

He ends up calling Lexaeus in the middle of the night; by the time Lex gets to him, Xaldin is fast asleep

Lexaeus brings him back to the Castle and drops him off in his bed

The next day, Xaldin basically treats you exactly how he did before you became a couple in the first place; he assumes it’s over, after all

If you ask him to talk, he’s seriously surprised because he didn’t expect there to be anything left to talk about, but he’s open to doing so

Vexen

It started out as a normal argument - something completely insignificant

But somehow this time, instead of resolving it like you two normally do, you both got defensive about it and it kept spiralling into a full-blown fight

You start listing everything that sometimes bothers you about Vexen, who retorts with whatever annoys him about you, and so on

In the end, he tells you that if he’s that terrible, maybe you should just leave him

You shoot back that yeah, maybe you should, and leave to calm down

Vexen is stunned for a bit before he leaves as well

He doesn’t drink much, normally, but oh well. Today’s special.

He just drinks in his room, and doesn’t go for blackout drunk

One might think he’s almost responsible(ish) about it… But then he figures he should definitely go do some experiments

He’s trying to distract himself from you and especially the argument, and the one thing that’s easiest to use for that purpose is science. It’s completely logical.

It… Does not go well

While he doesn’t blow up the entire castle, he does mess up several long-time experiments and breaks a few things

He might’ve done more damage, but one of the other apprentices notices the weird noises and gets him out of there and back into his room

Lexaeus

He’s usually very calm, even the few times you might’ve fought before

This is the first time you’ve heard him raise his voice, and it’s terrifying

He feels bad immediately afterwards, especially when you flinch away at first

So instead, he turns around and leaves without another word

A few of the people from Radiant Garden ended up in Traverse Town, including the owner of his favorite pub; they reopened in Traverse, and that’s where Lex is headed now

He’s very very quiet for a while

Only when he had a lot to drink does he start talking to the other customers, mostly about you and that he regrets yelling

He stays until the bar closes, then staggers back to the Castle

The next day, he tries to apologize to you, for the fight, the yelling and for just leaving

Zexion

He rarely yells when he gets angry; most times, he just gets snarkier

So he doesn’t really get loud at all during the argument; at some point, he just says that maybe the whole thing was a waste of time

And then he leaves

He doesn’t even know where he plans to go. Pretty much just wants to blow off some steam

So he teleports to another world, just so happens to land in a city, and walks around

And, well, he ends up right in front of a bar, and figures “might as well”

He never got drunk as a Somebody, obviously; he mainly heard about the whole “get drunk to drown sad feelings” thing from books

It’s not really a conscious decision, but at first, he totally mimics the way it’s usually described, with the character in question sitting at the bar, brooding, not talking much

But, well, then he actually ends up drunk. And just starts talking - About you, the fight, maybe some asides about other stuff

He can still walk when he goes back to the castle, but barely. Once there, he pretty much just falls down in his bed and falls asleep

He doesn’t remember much once he wakes up, at least not the part when he actually ended up very talkative

He won’t talk to you afterwards any more than necessary, and will be very snarky when he does

If you want to mend your relationship, you’ll need to make the first step - He will listen, at least, and is willing to talk to you if you start

Saix

Arguing with Saix is… weird

He’s really calm, usually, but it always feels like there’s anger bubbling just below the surface

And in this fight, this anger finally comes to the front, causing a lot of yelling

It’s kind of scarier than Lex yelling; Lex’ case was one short outburst, but it never really felt like he wasn’t in control

Saix feels like he might snap

You end up backing away from him; it takes him a bit to notice, but once he does, that seems to snap him back into reality

He just stands there and stares at you for a bit, as if he’s trying to figure out what exactly was going on

He then gets very cold

“Maybe this is a sign we should stop this farce.”

After all, he has no Heart. What could this whole relationship have been but a farce? He refuses to acknowledge that he’s hurt at all, and just turns around and leaves

He just picks a place with a nice view of the stars to drink

For a change, he doesn’t feel talkative at all, even when someone walks past. He just sits there and stares at the stars.

Afterwards, Saix treats you like the whole relationship never happened, though it seems like he’s a bit colder with you than with the others - But he’s cold to everyone, so that’s hard to figure out

If you try to talk to him about it, he blows you off

Axel

For a dude so sure he has no emotions, Axel is a pretty emotional guy

Your arguments usually don’t involve yelling though. Usually.

“All right, if that’s how you really think, then how about we just split?!”

He gives you only a second or two to answer before he turns around and teleports away

He gets himself some booze, then returns to his room

While drinking, he tries to blow of some steam, taking any frustrations out on his furniture

It’s very lucky he can’t control his fire once he gets drunk, or else the Castle wouldn’t be standing anymore

(His bedsheets and parts of the walls are a little singed though)

He calms down once pretty much nothing is in its place anymore, and decides that he doesn’t really want to end things with you

So he writes you a letter (yes, you can tell it was written while he was drunk) and slips it under your door

Next day, his memories are kind of hazy, though he does know that he wrote you something

If you don’t ring it up, he asks you about it. While he had the thought when drunk, he really doesn’t want your relationship to end, so if you’re up for giving it another try, he’s down

Demyx

The argument starts harmless enough, but ends up getting worse and worse

Both of you end up crying at some point

“Fine, then let’s just end it!”

You’re both stunned after he says it

Then he opens up a dark portal right where he stands and disappears in it

He ends up in a supermarket, and spontaneously decides to buy booze and get drunk

Demyx doesn’t pick any specific place, he drinks while strolling through the city he ended up in

He kind of regrets what he said to be honest

And the drunker he gets, the more determined he gets to try and win you back

Which ends with a very drunk Demyx trying to serenade you from outside your door

Think of his sitar skills what you will, but when he’s drunk, they’re far worse

If you tell him to leave, he will, though he’ll be heartbroken

If you open the door, though, he’ll give you a big hug, and then promptly pass out

Luxord

Luxord doesn’t yell; you can tell that it’s serious when his voice stops sounding even slightly amused

He does sound angry eventually, but he barely raises his voice. He does sound slightly sarcastic though

“Perhaps it would be best if we went our separate ways if I bother you this much.”

Then he very calmly leaves

He goes to a nice pub to drink; he might’ve even been there before once or twice after a mission

He doesn’t talk much while drinking, mostly just thinks

And he manages to not get into any weird hijinks while he’s drunk, and instead just ends up returning to the Castle late at night

The next day, he actually approaches you and asks if you want to talk things over, now that (hopefully) you’ve both had time to calm down

If you say no, he takes his loss. You can’t always win, after all

Marluxia

Marluxia is usually rather calm, but… not during this fight

In the end, he yells at you that maybe you two should end it, then he leaves

Once he’s alone, he kinda… deflates, his anger mostly gone

He ends up grabbing some booze and going to his garden alone

No one sees him until at least noon the next day; he comes back with some dirt, grass and twigs still stuck in his hair

(Not that many people see him like that; he immediately goes to his room to take a shower at least)

A little while later, you find a bouquet with purple hyacinth and pink roses in your room, alongside a card containing a time and place, most likely his garden

If you decide to go, he’s waiting there for you, ready to apologize

Larxene

She’s got a hot temper, so this is far from the first fight you have

Usually, both of you calm down again shortly afterwards; Larxene just has to get her anger out, then be left alone for a while before she comes back to your side

But this time… This time was different. Far worse than any other fight

And honestly, considering how often she’s lost her temper before, who could blame you for not wanting her back this time?

She leaves the castle without telling anyone and steals a lot of booze somewhere

Some poor idiot had the dumb idea to bother her while she was drinking; even drunk, she easily won that fight with only a few scrapes and bruises

Marluxia brings her back the next morning

He doesn’t tell anyone where or how he found her, and she’s fast asleep when he does

The time after, she just avoids you unless you start talking to her

Roxas

He doesn’t have much of a concept of many things, so the relationship is kind of strange for him in general

And it’s not like the others, even Axel, are much help; not with the whole “Nope no feelings” stuff (and Axel’s tips are just… Not too helpful)

Roxas ends up saying that maybe you should’ve never started this

Since he’s never really heard of the whole “getting drunk after a breakup” thing, that’s not where his mind goes

Instead, he just grabs some ice cream and sits on the clock tower

Axel joins him after a while, and a bit later, so does Xion

Axel asks Roxas what happened, and listens while he talks, but doesn’t really have any tips

(Have y’all played Days? None of these three idiots know how to just talk to each other I swear)

The next time he sees you, Roxas looks like he wants to say something to you, but doesn’t

If you start a conversation, though, you two might be able to talk it all out

Xion

Similar to Roxas, the whole relationship thing is kind of new to her

(Though she at least has better ressources for tips than just “ask Axel”)

So like, theoretically, she knows that fights happen and stuff

But she’s never really experienced a fight like this, and isn’t sure if this is one of the types that you can talk out, or if it’s too bad for that

She’s weirdly calm when she says that maybe it’d be better to end; of course she’s upset and angry, but also confused and just trying to make sense of it

Like Roxas, she doesn’t really know the concept of getting drunk to numb feelings etc

So she just teleports to the beach. She doesn’t really think about it, it’s more of a subconscious decision; the sound of waves calms her down

She just sits there and watched the ocean for a while, then starts collecting seashells

A few days later, you find a shell and a note saying “I’m sorry” in your room

[uruhaxrukifanfics]

Taka & Kou relaxing in the onsen?!

1989年12月31日

Takanori was the only hardly-sane person to humor Kouyou in accepting a road trip to butt-fuck-ville covered in ice and snow at a time so close to new year’s eve. Sure, the invitation of attending the lantern festival was originally for Yuu, but his roommate had surprised him with news of spending the holiday with his newfound fling of five months, and Takanori was… Well, he wouldn’t call him a last resort. Something inside him made him ask as he watched Takanori rearrange records during their shared work shift. Maybe it was the memory of warm chocolate cake and bottle of wine shared on a too-cold night, the way Takanori’s hand fit in his as they lazily cuddled to keep each other warm. Maybe he hadn’t been able to get it out of his head since leaving the morning afterward.

Either way, he asked before he could second guess himself. The effort was well worth the radiant smile Takanori fixated him with while resorting records on the shelf when he agreed.

Kouyou learned that his apartment neighbor hated the cold, the too much ice and the lingering chill that made him dress in so many layers, the victim of Kouyou’s amused sniggers that poked fun at his moody griping as they packed themselves into Kouyou’s small car for the drive to the small lakeside town. But the sight they visited was worth battling the cold to see. Hundreds of lights strung up to create glowing tunnels where couples walked hand in hand, a scale snow-model of a famous castle in the area – complete with candles flickering in little cut-out spaces where the windows were and all – was breathtaking. Lanterns that resembled the ornamental stone lanterns residing in Japanese gardens were placed along the path to bathe the grounds in a warm, welcoming glow. Upon drawing closer, they realized they were all carved entirely out of snow that had been packed together and then painstakingly hollowed out under the roof so that a candle could rest inside it. Some of them had little panels painted with scenes from mythology to protect the candle from the wind, casting warm lights of reds and oranges over the pure white snow. Some were as tall as a person, but others towered well over them.

If Kouyou held Takanori’s hand so that he wouldn’t slip again on the ice every time he didn’t pay attention to where he was going in favor of ogling the snow sculptures and held onto it for his safety, neither of them said a word of it. Not when Taknaori clutched back just as surely, even as he fiddled with his camera and took unexpected pictures of Kouyou from time to time; cheeks flushed, locks mused from the wind.

They strolled, ate and drink with merry, and watched children run in their puffy winter coats towing little plastic sleds as they went up and down the hill off to the side of the festival.  When they stopped to share a cigarette, a streak of light fired off into the air with a sharp pop before exploding into glittering strands of blue and pink light.  A crowd let out appreciative awes at the firework display as it cast bright colors across the sky.  The everchanging bursts of light threw strange shadows dancing across the carved snow. 

One more film left.

Instead of reserving the last picture to be of the illuminated snow sculptures, Takanori angled the plastic camera and took a picture of Kouyou’s profile as the taller looked to the sky with a smile as pure as his heart.

After the fireworks were over, the pair strolled back to Kouyou’s car and left the festival. Takanori had thoroughly enjoyed himself, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t above sticking his icicle fingers over the vents as soon as Kouyou turned the heat on.  It was freezing in the mountains, especially at night.  They had to drive quite a bit into the mountains to get to the inn Kouyou mentioned they were going to stay in since most of the inns and hotels in town were booked up for both the holiday and festival.

The inn was a very quaint wooden building, yet beautifully picturesque with ancient, gnarled trees covered in a healthy dusting of snow. Small stone lanterns with lit candles guided them through a small garden and up to the entrance door. Sloped eaves and patched cracks hinted that the building might have been decades, perhaps even a century old, yet it looked well-maintained and upkept. Kouyou handled checking them in whilst Takanori silently stood beside him, offering a kind smile when the elderly woman glanced to him for a moment to return it tenfold. Given borrowed slippers, they shuffled along after the woman in as she guided them through narrow wooden hallways of the inn and pointed out the garden, the dining area, a small tatami-floored living room strewn with pillows and a low table, the toilet rooms, the baths, and finally their room. As if she almost forgot, she backtracked to tell them when the onsen would close for the night – “We’re leaving it open a little longer for the holiday. The only other guests staying here tonight are a group of four grandmothers who came in from Akita, and they’ve turned in a while ago, so you’ll have the baths to yourself,” she happily shared with delight – and bid them goodnight before puttering off down the hall humming cheerily to herself about youth and young love.

They were left to their own demises, placing away their luggage with awe at how nice their room was. A far cry from their apartment back home without any heat. It wasn’t lost to them how two futons were already laid out on the tatami on either side of a low table, a vase seated on top containing red camellias.  It was simple, but very nice in its own way. They could just barely see the garden outside their large window, the trees and rocks made smooth and round by a thick layer of pure, untouched snow.

Later, Takanori could fiddle with the heater in the corner, a circular metal contraption that hissed and glowed cherry-red once it got going and Kouyou could help dry and comb his hair while he did so. But for the moment, he was more than happy to peel out of his clothes, slip into his loose, cotton yukata over his underwear, deftly secure the obi around his hips, and race Kouyou to the onsen with a barely contained bubble of loud laughter entangled with a surprised yelp when arms wrapped around his waist from behind once Kouyou caught up to him and snatched him off his feet, burying his own evidence of amusement into a shoulder.

Try as they might, they couldn’t keep quiet. The energy left over from the festival still hung around them, a bubble like champagne in their veins, even as they bathed and prepped to slip into the hot steam of the pool. The pool was mostly ‘inside’ another wooden room, with just one wall open to the outdoors and only a little bit of the pool properly out in the open. Steam rose up from the still, crystal-clear surface of the water and curled in white tendrils, flame-lit lamps cast flickering light across the small, walled garden and made the snow almost seem to glow, and it was more than Kouyou could have possibly asked for. The dark abyss of the night beyond the reach of the flames was likely a gorgeous view of the mountains and lake during the day.

“We should come back in the morning,” Kouyou suggested lowly as he eased himself into the water with a sigh and leaned back against the rocks.  The water was almost too hot, but with the aid of the winter chill Taknaori didn’t waste much time at the edge before sliding in also.  Once he was in the water, the cool air on his face felt nice when paired with the soothing heat of the water, “Or maybe during the sunset. Catch the first sunset of the new year, mm?”

“Yeah?” Takanori arched an eyebrow, sinking until the water caressed his chin. “You gonna be up for it?”

“Of course. Unless you have other plans with someone else, then…” Kouyou shrugged a shoulder halfheartedly as he settled to rest his arms on the stone wall to either side of himself, closing his eyes and allowing his head to resting back against a stone with peaceful acceptance. “I guess I’d understand. I guess. No promises.” A satisfied half-grin lazily curled the edge of his mouth at the snigger he was rewarded from the petite man that came in close until he could fit himself under Kouyou’s outstretched arm. Kouyou hummed a low sound of acknowledgement and curled his arm around Takanori’s shoulders, letting him curl up beside him under the water.

“I didn’t agree to come all this way with you just to be with someone else, you know,” Taknaori murmured softly close to his ear as the pad of his pointer finger traced figure 8’s at his side just a little way beneath a rib. After a moment, he pressed his lips absently to Kouyou’s bare shoulder. “There isn’t anyone else I’d rather be with right now than you.”

The feeling was mutual, but the fluttered warmth at the lining of Kouyou’s stomach dared to say otherwise as he opened his eyes to gaze down and meet Takanori’s gaze; tried to read more into something that meant nothing except genuine admittance shared between a co-worker, a neighbor, a friend.

“Me too, Taka,” Kouyou carefully passed a damp hand through Takanori’s locks and pressed a warm, lingering kiss to his forehead as he drew him in close the moment his fingers cupped the nape of his neck. “Me, too.”

[ruffsficstuffplace]

The Keeper of the Grove (Part 5)

Morning brought with it a blisteringly hot and unbearably bright wave of sunlight all over Candela and the still unnamed expanse of mountains and bedrock it stood on, made tolerable and more importantly, nonlethal to pretty much any biological creature by the magical barrier now covering the city.

Vehicles outside of the borders rushed to the loading bays or the few outposts and smaller settlements scattered in the wasteland, trying to outrun the sunlight, keep themselves from being stranded till nightfall, where they’d have to pray they wouldn’t die from a failure in their heat shielding, boredom, or their fellow passengers.

Machines within the city started powering on and rolling out: construction bots ready to work at incredible speed and efficiency so long as the sun was up, dirigibles that sprayed condensation and precipitation to mimic clouds and water the city’s greenery, the many forms of public transportation to deliver the vast majority of daytime-preferring citizens to wherever they needed to go.

Drones, appliances, and human workers began to brew gallons upon gallons of coffee, tea, hot chocolate and other breakfast beverages of choice. Young children were being rushed along by their parents and guardians to make it to their classes on time, and their own jobs and obligations afterward. People enjoying leisurely breakfasts, exercising in the plazas and the gardens, or standing in jam-packed trams or sitting in (supposedly) ergonomically designed seats mostly listened to the tunes of “Good Morning Avalon,” or the daytime segments of their news station of choice.

The artificial lights of the city turned off and the flashier video ads turned to much less complex versions, their power being redirected to more important systems, the ones that kept its constantly growing population from dying of solar radiation, overheating, and in a handful of locations, being instantaneously vaporized by a slowly traveling beam of concentrated sunlight.

The view from Manor Schnee turned from a grossly incandescent beacon in pitch-black darkness, to a radiant monument of life, culture, and technology amid a barren wasteland, broken only by the tops of the tallest trees in the Viridian Valley.

It would have been a comforting sight, if both Weiss and Winter didn’t know that the Keeper was perfectly capable of terrorizing and slaying her victims in broad daylight, she just preferred to do it in the cover of night.

There was a knocking on Winter’s bedroom door.

The both of them flinched and screamed, jittery, nervous, and all too aware of every last bump, creak, thump, and other suspicious noise in the vicinity. Weiss whimpered, and buried her face back in her sister’s chest; Winter picked up one of the empty wine bottles beside her, ready to smash it into the wall and use it as a weapon.

The intercom crackled to life.

“Mses. Schnee,” a butler said, “your father wishes to see you both at the dining hall for breakfast in an hour. He understands that recent events have… err… weighed heavily on the both of you and caused a not insignificant amount of distress, and he consequently he wishes to discuss them with you.

“He has also asked me to emphasize that this is not a request.”

“Should the both of you require any assistance, we, your servants, are standing by, ready to help with anything you should want or need!”

“On a related note: Ms. Weiss, Chief Tov wishes to see you in their office as soon as possible. They wish to speak with you about a… unexpected visitor they detected in your bedroom as of a few hours ago. They have asked me to tell you that they’ve ‘Not a bleedin’ clue whatever THAT was, but I’m pretty bloody sure it’s VERY bad.’”

The intercom shut off. Winter slowly put down the bottle, ignored it when it tipped over and rolled off somewhere.

Weiss pulled her head out of her chest and looked up at her, eyes puffy and red from crying, dark circles underneath. “What do we do, sis?” she whimpered.

Winter sighed. “What else?: We get ready for breakfast with Father.”

Weiss balked. “You can’t be serious!”

Winter sighed. “I really wish I wasn’t, sis.”

“Can’t we find some way to get out of this?” Weiss asked.

“Not without making things worse. The way I see it, we’ve got two choices:

“One, we can go to breakfast like he asked, and hope that we can convince him to abandon any plans of revenge and/or trying to be the first human to settle the Valley, and more so, that the Keeper will keep her word.

“Or Two, we can stay here, wait to pass out from exhaustion, have Father become incredibly angry at being stood up, be forced to show up to lunch or dinner instead, then try to convince him not to anger the Keeper more than he already has while he will most definitely feel MUCH less inclined to agree with us.”

Weiss sighed. “So either way, we lose.”

Winter patted her on the shoulder. “If there’s anything the Queensguard have taught me, it’s that more often than not your only choices are ‘Bad’ and ‘Worse,’ and you better get used to choosing Bad,” she said as she started to get up. “Come on, sis, let’s go get ready for breakfast...”

Weiss sighed and reluctantly obeyed, pulling her head out of Winter’s lap.

“Is Jordan still on staff?” Winter said as she braced herself against the wall.

“Father won’t let anyone else do his make-up,” Weiss replied as she stretched out her legs, winced at the sensation pins and needles.

“Good,” Winter mumbled, “because she’s going to be integral to what I’ve got planned...”

In her letters and their rare live video chats with one another, Winter had always talked about how many tactics and shortcuts the Queensguard had for looking presentable and agreeable even if you had just come back from a sleepless, 72-hour-straight mission in the most dangerous and unstable regions of Avalon.

Make-up tricks to hide even the worst signs of fatigue and distress, and even make you look like you weren’t long past the end of your rope, if not exactly fully-charged and ready for anything. Recipes for concoctions meant to temporarily cure hangovers or dull the worst of its effects, make you completely awake and your thoughts coherent enough until you could crash for a good long time, or even improvised perfumes to hide the fact that you hadn’t spent nearly enough time in the shower. Quick and dirty meditation, psychological tricks, and specific tactics and guidelines for how to do the least amount of social interaction, with the least amount of effort or willpower, while looking the least rude and cranky possible.

They were so incredibly effective that the servants that hadn’t them earlier didn’t even seem to notice that anything was wrong with either of them, much more that their whole worlds were rapidly falling apart before their very eyes, and their lives ending much sooner, more suddenly, and more violently than either of them had ever imagined.

Even their Father seemed clueless or didn’t see anything too bad to merit specific notice, and Jacques Schnee prided himself on his ability to read people, deftly pushing all the right buttons, bringing out the strengths of his allies and employees, and mercilessly attacking the weaknesses of his enemies and competitors.

(To be fair, though, he never did devote as much time nor energy to his daughters as he did them.)

“Weiss, Winter,” he said, looking up from his tablet long enough to nod at them before he returned to it and whatever was on the surface.

In spite of the luxurious, tempting spread of oven-fresh breads, perfectly smoked and fried meats, and freshly picked and perfectly sliced fruits and vegetables before him and arranged specifically for his view at the head of the table, his plate was empty, and his customary mug of coffee untouched and still in its protective bubble.

“Father,” Winter said as she took her old seat, the one just to the left of him.

Weiss said nothing as she sat in the one next to her, a distance of at least one chair between her and her father as always.

Servants came to offer them refreshment and recommendations about which particular offerings they would do well to start their breakfast with, but they both refused and waved them off—they weren’t feeling very hungry, either. Both human and robotic staff lingered for a while longer, until they decided their presence was unneeded, or they automatically returned to their docks from lack of input.  

Silence lingered for a few moments more, until Jacques finally put his tablet down. “I’m going to be sending another prospecting team in three days time,” he said. “Weiss, you are no longer allowed to join it or any other expedition outside of this city—not until you are 18, and without a serious discussion between you and I once more.”

No courtesies, such as asking they partake of some food first.

No inquiries about how they were feeling.

No polite conversation about the weather, a topic to lead-in the heart of the matter, or a vague hook to test the waters.

Just a firm, clear declaration of what he was going to do, without hesitation nor doubt, the trait experts said his investors found most appealing about him.

“You can’t be serious,” Weiss said flatly.

“It’s for your own safety, Weiss,” her Father replied. “I was vastly mistaken in how effective your guards would be, and I’d rather not risk your life again; you may entertain this newfound adventuring spirit of yours when you are of legal age.”

“This isn’t about me, this is about the Keeper!” Weiss screamed.

Jacques looked at her in a mixture of annoyance and contempt. “Not you too...” he muttered, his gaze wandering over to Winter.

“Father, you need to stay out of the Viridian Valley, as with everyone else in Avalon! Haven’t you lost enough money on this venture? Weren’t you there to see the injuries those mercenaries sustained? Doesn’t the fact that Weiss almost got killed there bother you in the slightest?!”

Slam!

“ENOUGH OF THIS!” Jacques roared, his closed fist shaking on the table. “Winter, I had thought these delusions of of a mythological creature--”

“She’s NOT a myth!” Weiss screeched. “I’ve SEEN her! I’ve TALKED to her! And she’s going to KILL US ALL if your ego is more precious than you and your family’s lives!”

“Father, PLEASE!” Winter cried, absolute terror in her eyes. “Just this once, just this once, can’t you please just find it in your heart to just believe us?!”

Jacques Schnee gritted his teeth, his whole body shaking, his eyes glaring icy cold daggers at his daughters. He slammed his palms on the table and rocketed off his seat, sending his sturdy, wooden chair crashing to the floor.

All the human servants winced as the sound echoed throughout the dining hall. Then, all was deathly silent, the tension in the air so thick the weaker-willed among them suddenly found it hard to breath.

“Whatever is lurking in that valley, I will annihilate them, and show the survivors why you do not antagonize the Schnee Power Company,” Jacques growled, before he turned around, and left.

Ruin was coming, alright—just not for the Valley.

[aliceslantern]

Beyond this Existence, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 3

Summary:  After Xehanort's death, Demyx finds himself unexpectedly human in Radiant Garden. With nothing but fragments of his past and a cryptic statement from Xemnas, he's left to figure out who he is. When Ienzo asks for his help with a project, the two find common ground, but the trauma and secrets in both of their pasts could tear it apart. Zemyx (Demyx/Older!Ienzo), KH3 canon-compliant

read it on FF.net/on AO3

The cut had stopped bleeding overnight, leaving a red, angry scab that cracked easily. Demyx woke up feeling absolutely exhausted. For a while he watched the silvery-blue petals of his little plant sway in the faint breeze, utterly at a loss for what to do.

He was going to have to deal with this sometime.

What was he going to do now?

No more Organization. No more obligations. But instead of feeling freed, mostly he felt… dangerously untethered. If he had Arpeggio it would be a completely different story. With it, he could write and compose and experiment to his heart’s content. But without it… he really wasn’t much of anything.

The slickness of anxiety caught in his throat again, but he choked it off. No. He was not going to break down again. He’d just have to… find someone to bother, something to do. Anything to escape this feeling.

I hate being human.

Demyx decided to explore the castle. Maybe he would feel better if he had a more solid grip of his surroundings. The place was huge, after all. Some of it had to be interesting. He thought of it like a recon mission. Maybe something would help him figure out how to get out of here.

But then where would he go? Home?

The thought sent a pulse of pain through his head. Where… was home?

His memories were muddy and indistinct, more of the same blurry colors he’d seen recurring in his dreams. Only this time there other people, four or five of them, men and women in colorful robes and animal masks--

-- legacy that sleeps within you--

He gasped and choked on spit.

I don’t understand. I don’t understand. I don’t understand.

Why had Xemnas told them that, if only to go and die right afterwards?

He went to Even. In the lab, he was stooped over notes, flicking through brittle, yellowed pages every few seconds, his long blonde hair draping over the desk in front of him. Demyx knocked on the open door with his good hand.

“What do you want?” Even asked, barely looking up.

For a moment, Demyx nearly left. He didn’t have to tell Even about this. But Even had more facts. Even could help him see more clearly. He was about to wonder if understanding was something he did want when Even caught sight of his bandaged palm.

“What did you do to yourself now?”

“Last night, at the dinner party. Cut myself when I was doing dishes.”

Even stood and approached him. He unwrapped the purple cloth. “Right across your lifeline. Some cultures would consider that unlucky.”

Demyx reached to take the cloth back, but Even held onto it.

“This thing’s filthy. I might not have any magic, but I can at least provide adequate care.” He opened a cabinet and pulled out a roll of cloth bandages and a jar of some sort of salve. He pulled on a rubber glove and rubbed the salve into the wound. It burned terrifically. Once the wound was cleaned and bandaged, Even turned away. “Well, if that’s all you came for, would you do me a favor and leave me be? I’m in the middle of something important.”

Demyx felt anger rising in him, but he quashed it down. “That’s not why I came. Remember how you told me to keep track of my dreams?”

“My memory is very good.”

“They weren’t dreams at all. They were memories. But I don’t think they were his.” He exhaled. “They were mine.”

Even didn’t seem happy. “Oh. Is that all?”

He grit his teeth. And then he told Even about that day in the Keyblade graveyard, about Xemnas’s bombshell.

Even was silent for several seconds. “Are you… quite sure?”

“Of course I’m sure!”

More silence. Demyx could heard the analog clock on the desk ticking softly.

“That was… from the time of fairy tales. Many, many years ago. I had believed that was all legend… but then… well, if the X-blade has been forged again, who knows what else might be true?” He crossed his arms. “Biologically speaking, you’re barely in your twenties. If that were all true, then somehow you would be hundreds of years old.”

Cold, existential sweat gathered under his arms.

“And if that were the case, then--how did you get here? And why?”

“I don’t know.” He thought he might be sick. “I barely remember… everything’s gotten so fuzzy.”

“I don’t believe it,” Even said. “It must’ve been some sort of ploy… something to give you neophytes purpose… then again…” He came close to Demyx, seized a handful of his hair, and pulled.

He yelped in pain. “Hey! What are you--”

Even took the few blond strands he’d harvested and put them in a small sample bag. “You’ve piqued my curiosity. Sit down. I need blood.” He rummaged around in the cabinets and came back with a different box.

He hadn’t heard anything more threatening. “What--”

Even seized Demyx’s bad arm and rubbed a cold, wet prep pad against his elbow. “I need samples. I wonder if there’s any dating technique that could tell us more about this situation.”

“...Dating?” he asked.

“For your DNA,” Even said, exasperated, as though it were obvious. “And to see how your other cells might have been impacted by whatever means of preservation  that brought you to current day. That is, if any of this is true and not some lotus flower Xehanort was feeding you. There must have been something. This is your original body, yes? I think I’d have remembered making a replica for you.”

“It better fucking be,” Demyx said. He flinched when Even stuck him with a needle, but didn’t fight it. As cunning and cruel Even could be, if he was interested he would do the utmost to figure it out. All Demyx had to do was comply.

He took six vials of blood in total, enough to make Demyx a bit woozy, considering he’d also lost a good amount last night. He took spit, nail clippings, cheek swabs, and some skin cells.

“I dearly hope this isn’t a waste of my time,” Even said. “But imagine the possibilities… and why you? Why not? I don’t pretend to understand Xehanort. Not at all. It’s an awful lot of effort for vessels he could have just made…” His voice grew softer and softer as he spoke to himself. “I’ve all I need. I let you know if there’s more. You may go.”

Dizzily, he went to the library. He knew the worlds had different time streams, but there was no way it had been hundreds of years since the first time he was human. Time streams were different, but not that different.

The library was so staggeringly full, each shelf crammed with more books than he could count, books in all different subjects; psychology, biology, chemistry, literature, multiple different languages, religion, theology, photography. The words started to blur together. He found the history section. Volumes and volumes about Radiant Garden, and some about a few other worlds that sounded familiar, but not much else. No lore. No legends.

“What is it that you’re looking for in here?” Ienzo asked. He was passing by the same section, carrying several books.

“I was trying to find something about the age of fairy tales,” Demyx said. “I want to know more about that time.”

Ienzo looked confused. “That sort of thing is oral history,” he said. “There are very, very few printed volumes that survive from that time. Ansem may be a collector of rare books, but even he could never get his hands on something like that. Why is it you ask?”

Demyx hesitated. He couldn’t even be sure what Xemnas had told him wasn’t a lie. Maybe he’d just completely made up those memories, or maybe they’d been planted when he was a vessel. He forced a laugh. “I was just bored, is all. Wanted to know more about what I just got myself out of.”

Ienzo nodded slowly. “It’s unfortunate, but a lot of history from that time is just… lost and shadowed in legend. Perhaps that’s why Xehanort was trying to recreate the Keyblade war. Perhaps he wanted to understand it for himself.”

“...Maybe,” Demyx said lamely.

“Ansem might know more,” Ienzo said. “He studied quite a bit of mythology when he began his experiments. I could ask him for you. I admit, I’ve never seen you become intellectually involved in anything.”

“I just want to know,” he said, a bit more sharply than intended.

Ienzo frowned. “Are you quite alright?”

“Yeah. I mean, no. I’m just…” Demyx exhaled. “Trying to figure things out. And I have no idea where to start. I don’t even have my sitar. I don’t really have much of anything. And I’m not meant to be here.”

He blinked. “Not… meant…?”

“Face it. I’m just here because you are all too nice to get rid of me. None of you even like me. I don’t share a past with you, and I’m not a scientist.” He was starting to get worked up again.

Ienzo seemed to be at a loss for words. “Do you really judge your own worth using others’ opinions?” he asked after a tense moment.

“Of course I do,” Demyx said. “How can you not?”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you haven’t felt welcome.”

He shook his head. Tears pricked in his eyes and he blinked them back. “I have nowhere else to go,” he said. “I didn’t mean to dump this on you.” A strange emotion twisted inside of him. Words caught in his throat. He wanted, no, needed to talk to someone.

“It doesn’t bother me,” Ienzo said, but his voice was halting.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to lie. I’m not your problem.” He tried to force a smile. “I’ll let you get back to your work.”

The day passed in a sort of haze. He shifted from room to room in the castle, but the features and layout didn’t want to stick in his mind. His chest was hurting again, dully, and after awhile he realized the pain was anxiety. Demyx got himself spectacularly lost, and by the time he found his way back up to his room, it was time to eat. He heated some soup which sat in the old-fashioned fridge and picked at it.

He hated how quiet things felt.

He’d burnt out artistically a few times, awful weeks where he couldn’t compose anything worth listening to if his life depended on it. This felt just like that, but ten times worse. He felt as though he were… forgetting, somehow. He glanced down at the calluses on his left hand, partially obscured by bandages.

“There you are. I was hoping I’d see you around.” Ienzo had shed his coat, and the sweater beneath was a warm shade of gray. He held a sheaf of crumpled, yellowed, and brittle pages. “I asked Ansem about the age of fairy tales. He doesn’t have any texts, but after some digging, I found this. He doesn’t know I took it from his library. He’s been… somewhat unobservant lately.”

“What is it?” Demyx asked.

“I only saw the first page, so I’m not quite certain. Perhaps we may look at it together. Come to think of it, somebody should create some record of that time. We can’t repeat history a third time.” His voice was fast, excited.

“I smell a new project for you,” Demyx said.

“Yes. Perhaps. When I am done with my current research.” The joy in his expression drained, and he sat down across from Demyx.

“What's that?”

“...I'm… trying to help Sora,” Ienzo said.

“What’s wrong with him?” Demyx couldn’t help the bitter taste in his mouth; he had nothing but bad memories of Sora.

“He’s vanished. He overstretched his power… and disappeared from this world entirely. I'm hoping that something in our old research might help the guardians of light find him. I am not so sure. You can only meddle with the forces in this world so much before there are natural, irreversible consequences. The guardians are… naturally quite cut up about it. He and I had formed something of a rapport as well. As much as I wish for him to be whole… I don’t want to give myself false hope.”

“...Whoa,” he said, because he wasn’t sure what else to say.

“There’s never a moment wasted in researching,” Ienzo said. “For all I know, there’s some clue in these papers. And I think you can help me.”

“Me?” he asked incredulously. “What happened to “I’ve never seen you intellectually interested in anything?””

“Have a look.” Ienzo shuffled the fragile papers towards Demyx and opened to the first page. “While my scientific education has been excellent, admittedly it is somewhat lacking in the arts. I only have the most basic skills when it comes to music theory. This… seems more up your alley.”

It was a full-length musical score. Demyx touched the papers. It was some of the most intricate composition works he had ever seen; the meters were odd, all over the place, somehow flowing coherently. Trills, flourishes, complicated dynamics--just looking at it made his heart race. The way the treble and bass clef mingled was so graceful.

Beneath there were lyrics in another language he couldn’t understand.

“They’re ancient runes. I’ve studied them a little. But I recognize the characters for “Keyblade”, and they’re in there.”

Demyx read the score, his fingers itching to hear it out loud.

“Perhaps you can help me?” Ienzo asked.

“I need an instrument,” he said. “It’s too complex to sing.”

“There’s an old piano in Ansem’s quarters. We can have Aeleus and Dilan move it to an empty study space. I’m sure it’ll need tuning.”

“I can do that.” Something about this score gave him hope. He wasn’t sure what. “I’m in.”