#afterwards a few of us were talking about our auditions to other people and it was very ‘oh you should’ve seen his audition it was great!’

[the-nameless-wacky-inventor]

yea hold on a second *walks out of the room and a second later you hear a gun go off* *walks back in with a hole in my chest* anyway! you were saying?

[artzychic27]

Have any fun facts about the science kids in scarlet beetle & Ikati black au or otherwise?

Marc:

This guy has always been tall for his age. In seventh grade, he was mistaken for a teacher’s aid

He got gum in his hair, let Marcel cut it out, and the rest you know

Makeover parties hosted by him, Cosette, and Jean

He doesn’t need heels, but he still wears them because they make his legs look badass

Used to wear glasses before he switched to contacts. He got bullied a lot, and his glasses were everyone’s favorite to flush down the toilet

Marc’s been a fan of Nathaniel’s artwork for a long time and had a little fanboy moment the first time he actually talked to him

Carries around scissors just to cut up his jeans

Competes in poetry slams and limerick contests… He throws up in private afterwards because he just spoke in front of a bunch of people

Considering joining the school’s soccer team during the spring season

He owns a shit-ton of jewelry so no one will question a certain brooch on his shirt

Jean:

Has been getting the lead role in dozens of plays and musicals since he was six and played JoJo in Seussical

Often auditions for female roles because he knows he can hit those high notes. He’s plays Christine Canigula, Annie, Matilda Wormwood, and Coraline

He wears sweaters and sweater vests primarily, and if he’s wearing a regular shirt, it needs to have a quote from a musical or playbill design printed on the front

His mom left him and his dad because… She was kinda the worst. She left to be with her lover and didn’t bother trying to get custody of Jean

They absolutely LOATHE Glee for the sole reason that Rachel Berry just… Is there.

Learned to play the guitar to audition for Zack in School of Rock the musical

Has been besties with Lacey since they were five and his mom walked out. She was the one to make him feel better when his dad couldn’t

He will belt out a song from a musical when given the opportunity. He sang Our Lady of the Underground during lunch in the seventh grade and was given a standing ovation

Reshma’s BFF in Cosplay- She does anime, he does theater. Of course, they did a little Death Note: The Musical cosplay with Reshma as Light and Jean as Ryuk

Vice President of the theater club, assisting Myléne

A bit of a romantic

Developed a crush on Marc during their freshman year when he calmed them down when they were having a panic attack a few minutes before a show. After that, they just began noticing all these small things about him

He and Lacey have a “Black Eye Swear” Don’t ask, but it means they won’t tell other people a secret they tell each other under no circumstances, even if it prevents the end of the world

… Also, they crossdress

Lacey:

She’s cute, but badass

She loves thrill seeking and will be up to any challenge. Her friends all have white hair because of her

Lacey is the oldest of three and lives with her grandparents due to her parents dying in a car crash a few years back when she was twelve

Nervous about letting her brothers watch Disney movies due to most of the protagonists being orphans. She especially doesn’t want them watching Big Hero 6

Wears a lot of sneakers and hiking boots

Has been keeping her rock climbing gear in their locker ever since Monarch made his appearance

When she’s stressed, she cuts her hair, but her grandparents finally got her to stop and they settled on a messy bob cut

Likes to give hugs rather than receive them, but as long as she has someone’s permission

Gets sunburned easily. Aurore carries a spare parasol for her

She likes rap music… That is all

Aurore:

She has the perfectionism of Meilin Lee, Light Yagami, Isabela Madrigal, and Bakugou Katsuki

Aurore has this need to succeed at every little thing due to her parents setting high expectations for her ever since was born from vocal lessons, to athletics, academics, the way she dressed, and even her hair when it started going brunette

Her friends keep trying to convince her to embrace the brunette, but her parents are still breathing down her neck

Her parents mean well, but they don’t realize the amount of pressure they’re putting on Aurore. It’s what drove their son away

She plays the violin, her little sister, Catherine can sing, and her brother, Rafael plays the cello

Rafael is VERY protective of his sisters and takes time out of his day to help them relax because Aurore has a ton of anxiety and Catherine is still a child who’s afraid of upsetting her parents

Aurore owns a lot of waterproof clothing in case it rains

She can’t sing even if her life depended on it

This girl has successfully snuck snacks and drinks into movie theaters, enough to share with her friends, and she’ll do it again

Thinks about taking Catherine and living with Rafael

Mireille:

Has some serious self esteem issues because of Alec’s meddling and is worried she doesn’t earn some of her accomplishments

Does her own hair to save money

Shy as hell but will make a scene when necessary

She’s good at speaking in front of crowds due to Alec, but she immediately throws up afterwards

Mireille/Marc: *Hurling after doing some public speaking; fist bump*

Is pretty good at singing, but had only ever sung in front of Aurore

Owns a lot of headbands

Used to be friends with Sabrina before she started hanging out with Chloé… Kind of has feelings for her

Takes kickboxing as an outlet for her repressed anger

She’s always the first to see any of Theo’s art, and she was actually an inspiration for a few pieces

Cosette:

Makes their own jewelry and pins

Will smack a bitch if they make fun of her vitiligo. Sometimes bite

“Let’s make jokes to mask our pain!” 🥲

Because Yvette and Jordyn are their brother and sister, they have over three hundred comebacks to every possibly insult planned and written in a sparkly pink notebook

Only use in case of an emergency

The Bellamy’s are almost like the Blight Family, overbearing perfectionist mother, silent but loving father, fraternal twins

… Their mom is just the worst, really. Terrible, awful. She withholds any kind of affection from her kids, doesn’t give one shred of congratulations for an accomplishment, and puts her kids down whenever she gets the chance

Wants to become a makeup artist and its friend are more than happy to be its models

Has actually created their own eyeshadow and lipstick. They sell well online, and their family has no idea

Has about five of those Caboodles makeup carrying cases from the 80s. They just love them so much! They can’t stop buying them!

Zoé:

Audrey had an affair. Was it only two? Who knows?

Had her hair bleached when she was three

She was forced to compete in pageants, make only rich friends, and wear anything Audrey made

Her dad loves her to bits and does whatever he can to make her happy

She and Cosette met during the class’s field trip to New York. They helped her escape from some of her bullies

Then Zoé returned the favor by giving them a private tour of the city

She learned how to play the bass when she was twelve

Shares Marc’s love for punk rock outfits

She actually does know how to ride a motorcycle

Her looks is pre-What Else Can I Do? Isabella in New York and post in Paris. (Prep school girl to punk rock gender)

Denise:

A child of the earth who has no idea what the word “shame” means and encourages everyone to embrace their truest selves

Knows how to play the drums, cuz that’s a total hippie thing

Physically strong but oftentimes, emotionally weak

They Pride themself on being reliable and dread the day when people don’t need them

To cope, they do a little stargazing, embroidery, and oftentimes meditate

Doesn’t eat meat often. They’re not a vegetarian, they just don’t like the taste. Faux meat on the other hand? Delicious

Their parents are okay, but they tend to overwork Denise as the oldest twin and the strongest in the family, but Denise is too nervous to call them out and sucks it up whenever they have a muscle cramp

Makes sure Simon goes to sleep when he’s working on another video or doing some hacking. Just in case, they bring him some coffee in the morning

Has a twin sister named Cerise… They don’t get along perfectly

Is a pacifist, but if there’s even a scratch on one of their friends, Cerise, and especially on Simon… They’ll knock you out

Simon:

ROTMNT Donnie meets Kaminari Denki meets KG Lebowitz-Jenkins

Doesn’t really wear his emotions on his sleeves unless he’s around close friends, his aunt, or Denise

Sarcastic as hell, but they prefer the term, “Witty”

Was born with pointy ears, no, they are not a leprechaun

Has the worst possible relationship with his parents. They were physically and mentally abusive, negligent, and it was a miracle Simon was even able to get food

He eventually got out of that house when he was seven and a neighbor called the police when she saw Simon’s burn scars. His aunt got custody, and has been doing everything she can to make up for all those years

A progressive Catholic

They like making AMVs and just music videos in general. Sometimes they use footage from shows, and other times, they’ll do animatics which come out real smooth

Owns a tablet, smartphone, laptop, two monitors, a drone, and a Nintendo Switch

Somewhere on the spectrum, but his aunt wants him to request an official diagnosis rather springing one on him at random

Reshma:

Yaoyorozu Momo meets post What Else Can I Do? Isabella

Can come off as a little pompous to those who don’t know her well, but she just doesn’t talk much, and her perfect posture may give the wrong vibes

LOVES magical girl shows and manga. Sailor Moon and She-Ra are her all time favorites

She wears outfits based on anime characters

Oftentimes, competes in pageants wearing dresses she designed, and they leave everyone in awe at her craftsmanship

In the Tall Lesbians Club with Juleka

Her parents are the best people you’ll ever meet. A little overprotective, but they just love her to pieces

She helps Ismael transition socially and gets a thrill out of helping him piss his mom off

Makes and sells her own jewelry, and even has a website

Tries not to be your standard spoiled rich girl, but… SHE LOVES GOING SHOPPING!

Ismael:

Will wear long sleeves no matter how hot it is

Has enough binders to swap out so he’s not wearing any of them out

Honestly couldn’t care less if anything happened to his mom

Criss Angel is one of his inspirations

Indulges Reshma when she wants to go shopping. How can he say no to that face?

Is willing to fight an Akuma if he has to

Sometimes goes to the gym with Denise

A little cynical, but not on Max from Camp Camp’s scale… He’ll never measure up to such greatness and it stings

He likes grunge music, especially Riot Grrrl stuff… What? He support female empowerment and the death metal songs about periods get him through the week

Went through an emo phase two years ago… He doesn’t wanna talk about it

[boldcompanynews]

Two Gay “Business Partners” Who Appeared on a ’90s Game Show Lit Up the Internet. Their Real-Life Story Is Wild. - Journal Important Web - BLOGGER https://www.merchant-business.com/two-gay-business-partners-who-appeared-on-a-90s-game-show-lit-up-the-internet-their-real-life-story-is-wild/?feed_id=151596&_unique_id=66abfe5e14f6c In 1991, Hermosa Beach, California, set painters Tim Leach and Mark Dammann landed a spot as contestants on the ’90s version of the syndicated game show Supermarket Sweep. When host David Ruprecht asked how the two knew each other, Mark answered, “We’re business partners.” Thirty-three years later, a Twitter user watching old episodes affectionately posted: “I’m like oh I’m sure.”As many people on the internet have discovered the past few days, those two contestants were business partners—but they were also very much a couple. In fact, they are still together, they live in Chicago, and things are going great. I called Tim and Mark on the phone to talk about their 1991 game-show experience, about coming out to their parents, and about the incredible path their families took afterward. This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.Dan Kois: Did you audition for game shows a lot in those days?Tim Leach: Game shows were advertised in the Los Angeles Times classifieds. Every Sunday we would look at them and say, “Well, we should try out and see if we could make a few bucks.” We auditioned for Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy! but didn’t get on. Then we tried out for Supermarket Sweep.That’s a show like The Price Is Right where you get plucked out of the audience.Mark Dammann: Well, you know you’re a contestant.Tim: They tell you in advance that you’re going to be chosen, but they tape a bunch of episodes at once in this big studio in Studio City, and you don’t know which one you’ll be on.Have you watched your episode recently?Tim: We just watched it because of all this happening!Had you planned in advance for what you would say when the host asked you how you know each other?Tim: Well, there were some family members, grandparents and things, who still didn’t know.Mark: And my parents still didn’t know.Tim: I can’t honestly say what they would have done if we’d said we were together. Would they have asked us to rephrase it? Anyway, we just said we were business partners. Which has become a meme now, but in this case, it was true!Mark: We had just started our set-painting business, mostly for commercials and cruise ships.When you said that, was everyone on set like, “Oh, I’m sure”?Tim: Everyone knew! We were pretty open about it with the other contestants and the producers. We were out in our everyday lives. It was just on the air we kept it quiet.When the host asked you what the weirdest backdrop you’d ever painted was, you had a moment.Tim: We were both like, “Uhhh … This is a family, G-rated show—what can we say?”You answered, “Something for a rock group.” What’s the real answer?Mark: Probably it would be the same. We painted some backdrops for rock bands that were really something.Tim: We painted this one very buxom, bikini-clad woman. That’s what flashed through our minds at the time. This huge woman, and these two guys are painting her. The art director came in and said, “Her face looks kind of mannish.”Mark: We joked about that a lot. She was 20 feet tall.Mark, you really cleaned up in the opening word game. The idea that any of those other couples would know what tarragon was …Mark: Yes, maybe that was a giveaway.Tim: I can’t believe you knew what tarragon was!Mark: The biggest laugh I got from people who actually knew me was the clue for Sugar Daddies. Everyone was like, “Of course you knew that one.”Tim: When I buzzed in and the host said, “Tim, with his fast hands …” our friends laughed.Did you give the producers side-eye when they dressed you in those pink sweatshirts?Tim: They were red on the set! On camera they looked Pepto-Bismol pink. When I saw us on TV, I said, “Oh my God.”The whole thing really is kind of perfect camp.

The show was always so hetero-coded, with the wives who know groceries and the clueless husbands.Mark: Exactly!How did you prepare for the big sweep at the end?Tim: Once we knew we were going to audition for the show, we spent two weeks recording every episode on our old VCR. We drew out a map of the store. We were so sure we were gonna win.Tim, you did the running for the sweep. What do you remember about those 2 minutes and 30 seconds?Tim: The frozen meat cases where you grab the meat—it turns out that meat is frozen every night and then thrown back under those hot lights all day to thaw. It’s all sort of grayish-green. It’s frozen inside, but the surface was really gross.You ended up with a score total much lower than the other two couples. What happened?Tim: I was really surprised how low it was! I think it was just nerves. The cart was very difficult to control. One mistake was that I got the turkeys early on and they’re really heavy, and then the cart was really heavy. And you have a cameraman chasing you around the whole time, so you can’t turn around quickly.Mark: One of the other couples, the one who got second place, hit an aisle endcap and knocked all the stuff over. They had to stop us and set it all back up. They got a deduction—that’s why they didn’t win.Well, losing didn’t poison your relationship, because you’re still together. What happened when it aired?Tim: My side of the family all knew about us. My parents knew. But Mark’s parents didn’t know. His family lived in Houston, and my family lived in Galveston. Every Christmas we would come home and I would say hi to his parents at the airport and then we would go to separate houses for the holidays.Surely watching you on Supermarket Sweep must have been enough for your parents to figure it out, Mark.Mark: Nope!Tim: Nope!Mark: When we’d been dating 11 years, I still hadn’t told them, and my mom died. Tim’s dad died the same year.Tim: Mark came home and said, “I feel so much regret about never having that conversation with my mom. There’s a part of me she never knew.” I said, “Well, maybe you can bring yourself to tell your dad soon.”Mark: There was this radio show we listened to while were painting in the studio, these two psychologists, a married couple. I called in and really asked them, “How do I come out to my dad?” They said, “You’ve been together 11 years? He must know in his heart. You just have to say it.” So I just said it.And he knew, right?Mark: No, it was a total surprise.Really!Tim: Eleven years we’d been living together. He just thought, Well, they’re young, and L.A.’s expensive, and I guess you just have to have a roommate.Mark: Long story short, my dad ended up marrying Tim’s mom.What?!Tim: We introduced them to each other so they’d have somebody to go to the movies with. The next I know, I’m getting phone calls from my mom saying, “Guess who I ran into in Houston? Don!” I’d say, “You ran into him?” “Well, he said if I was up there I should give him a call.” Then we’re getting a call from my sister saying, “How well do you know this guy? Because Mom’s putting on lipstick.” I said, “He’s been basically my father-in-law for years!”Mark: We ended up becoming a conjoined family. They were married in 1994. Our parents became our biggest support system.That’s an incredible story.Tim: For a while, Lloyd Schwartz, a producer, the son of Sherwood Schwartz who created The Brady Bunch, was trying to sell it as a TV movie. It never panned out. Tim and Mark now. Courtesy of Tim Leach and Mark DammannI would’ve watched that.Tim: I guess now it would be a Hallmark movie.And you’re married now, too.Tim: We were married in 2008, the first day you could get married, June 17. Now we both work as flight attendants for Southwest.Mark: We were the first married same-sex couple to work there.Tim: Mark joined Southwest after me, and I went down to Dallas to see them pin on his wings, and everyone stood up and applauded for us. It’s always been a good place to work, but I still thought, That is not what would have happened 30 years ago.

When you rewatch your episode and you look back on those two guys, how do you feel? What would you tell your younger self?Tim: I’d just want to say that everything’s gonna be OK, and you can be yourself. Embrace who you are, whatever that means. Life has been pretty great.Mark: There’ll be some rough patches, but you’ll get through them. And as long as we have each other, you’ll make it. And it’s been 41 years, and we’ve made it. http://109.70.148.72/~merchant29/6network/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/pexels-photo-3810792.jpeg #GLOBAL - BLOGGER In 1991, Hermosa Be... BLOGGER - #GLOBAL

[onlinecompanynews]

Two Gay “Business Partners” Who Appeared on a ’90s Game Show Lit Up the Internet. Their Real-Life Story Is Wild. - Journal Important Web https://www.merchant-business.com/two-gay-business-partners-who-appeared-on-a-90s-game-show-lit-up-the-internet-their-real-life-story-is-wild/?feed_id=151594&_unique_id=66abfd3d69f37 In 1991, Hermosa Be... BLOGGER - #GLOBAL In 1991, Hermosa Beach, California, set painters Tim Leach and Mark Dammann landed a spot as contestants on the ’90s version of the syndicated game show Supermarket Sweep. When host David Ruprecht asked how the two knew each other, Mark answered, “We’re business partners.” Thirty-three years later, a Twitter user watching old episodes affectionately posted: “I’m like oh I’m sure.”As many people on the internet have discovered the past few days, those two contestants were business partners—but they were also very much a couple. In fact, they are still together, they live in Chicago, and things are going great. I called Tim and Mark on the phone to talk about their 1991 game-show experience, about coming out to their parents, and about the incredible path their families took afterward. This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.Dan Kois: Did you audition for game shows a lot in those days?Tim Leach: Game shows were advertised in the Los Angeles Times classifieds. Every Sunday we would look at them and say, “Well, we should try out and see if we could make a few bucks.” We auditioned for Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy! but didn’t get on. Then we tried out for Supermarket Sweep.That’s a show like The Price Is Right where you get plucked out of the audience.Mark Dammann: Well, you know you’re a contestant.Tim: They tell you in advance that you’re going to be chosen, but they tape a bunch of episodes at once in this big studio in Studio City, and you don’t know which one you’ll be on.Have you watched your episode recently?Tim: We just watched it because of all this happening!Had you planned in advance for what you would say when the host asked you how you know each other?Tim: Well, there were some family members, grandparents and things, who still didn’t know.Mark: And my parents still didn’t know.Tim: I can’t honestly say what they would have done if we’d said we were together. Would they have asked us to rephrase it? Anyway, we just said we were business partners. Which has become a meme now, but in this case, it was true!Mark: We had just started our set-painting business, mostly for commercials and cruise ships.When you said that, was everyone on set like, “Oh, I’m sure”?Tim: Everyone knew! We were pretty open about it with the other contestants and the producers. We were out in our everyday lives. It was just on the air we kept it quiet.When the host asked you what the weirdest backdrop you’d ever painted was, you had a moment.Tim: We were both like, “Uhhh … This is a family, G-rated show—what can we say?”You answered, “Something for a rock group.” What’s the real answer?Mark: Probably it would be the same. We painted some backdrops for rock bands that were really something.Tim: We painted this one very buxom, bikini-clad woman. That’s what flashed through our minds at the time. This huge woman, and these two guys are painting her. The art director came in and said, “Her face looks kind of mannish.”Mark: We joked about that a lot. She was 20 feet tall.Mark, you really cleaned up in the opening word game. The idea that any of those other couples would know what tarragon was …Mark: Yes, maybe that was a giveaway.Tim: I can’t believe you knew what tarragon was!Mark: The biggest laugh I got from people who actually knew me was the clue for Sugar Daddies. Everyone was like, “Of course you knew that one.”Tim: When I buzzed in and the host said, “Tim, with his fast hands …” our friends laughed.Did you give the producers side-eye when they dressed you in those pink sweatshirts?Tim: They were red on the set! On camera they looked Pepto-Bismol pink. When I saw us on TV, I said, “Oh my God.

”The whole thing really is kind of perfect camp. The show was always so hetero-coded, with the wives who know groceries and the clueless husbands.Mark: Exactly!How did you prepare for the big sweep at the end?Tim: Once we knew we were going to audition for the show, we spent two weeks recording every episode on our old VCR. We drew out a map of the store. We were so sure we were gonna win.Tim, you did the running for the sweep. What do you remember about those 2 minutes and 30 seconds?Tim: The frozen meat cases where you grab the meat—it turns out that meat is frozen every night and then thrown back under those hot lights all day to thaw. It’s all sort of grayish-green. It’s frozen inside, but the surface was really gross.You ended up with a score total much lower than the other two couples. What happened?Tim: I was really surprised how low it was! I think it was just nerves. The cart was very difficult to control. One mistake was that I got the turkeys early on and they’re really heavy, and then the cart was really heavy. And you have a cameraman chasing you around the whole time, so you can’t turn around quickly.Mark: One of the other couples, the one who got second place, hit an aisle endcap and knocked all the stuff over. They had to stop us and set it all back up. They got a deduction—that’s why they didn’t win.Well, losing didn’t poison your relationship, because you’re still together. What happened when it aired?Tim: My side of the family all knew about us. My parents knew. But Mark’s parents didn’t know. His family lived in Houston, and my family lived in Galveston. Every Christmas we would come home and I would say hi to his parents at the airport and then we would go to separate houses for the holidays.Surely watching you on Supermarket Sweep must have been enough for your parents to figure it out, Mark.Mark: Nope!Tim: Nope!Mark: When we’d been dating 11 years, I still hadn’t told them, and my mom died. Tim’s dad died the same year.Tim: Mark came home and said, “I feel so much regret about never having that conversation with my mom. There’s a part of me she never knew.” I said, “Well, maybe you can bring yourself to tell your dad soon.”Mark: There was this radio show we listened to while were painting in the studio, these two psychologists, a married couple. I called in and really asked them, “How do I come out to my dad?” They said, “You’ve been together 11 years? He must know in his heart. You just have to say it.” So I just said it.And he knew, right?Mark: No, it was a total surprise.Really!Tim: Eleven years we’d been living together. He just thought, Well, they’re young, and L.A.’s expensive, and I guess you just have to have a roommate.Mark: Long story short, my dad ended up marrying Tim’s mom.What?!Tim: We introduced them to each other so they’d have somebody to go to the movies with. The next I know, I’m getting phone calls from my mom saying, “Guess who I ran into in Houston? Don!” I’d say, “You ran into him?” “Well, he said if I was up there I should give him a call.” Then we’re getting a call from my sister saying, “How well do you know this guy? Because Mom’s putting on lipstick.” I said, “He’s been basically my father-in-law for years!”Mark: We ended up becoming a conjoined family. They were married in 1994. Our parents became our biggest support system.That’s an incredible story.Tim: For a while, Lloyd Schwartz, a producer, the son of Sherwood Schwartz who created The Brady Bunch, was trying to sell it as a TV movie. It never panned out. Tim and Mark now. Courtesy of Tim Leach and Mark DammannI would’ve watched that.Tim: I guess now it would be a Hallmark movie.And you’re married now, too.Tim: We were married in 2008, the first day you could get married, June 17. Now we both work as flight attendants for Southwest.Mark: We were the first married same-sex couple to work there.Tim: Mark joined Southwest after me, and I went down to Dallas to see them pin on his wings, and everyone stood up and applauded for us.

It’s always been a good place to work, but I still thought, That is not what would have happened 30 years ago.When you rewatch your episode and you look back on those two guys, how do you feel? What would you tell your younger self?Tim: I’d just want to say that everything’s gonna be OK, and you can be yourself. Embrace who you are, whatever that means. Life has been pretty great.Mark: There’ll be some rough patches, but you’ll get through them. And as long as we have each other, you’ll make it. And it’s been 41 years, and we’ve made it. http://109.70.148.72/~merchant29/6network/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/pexels-photo-3810792.jpeg #GLOBAL - BLOGGER In 1991, Hermosa Beach, California, set painters Tim Leach and Mark Dammann landed a spot as contestants on the ’90s version of the syndicated game show Supermarket Sweep. When host David Ruprecht asked how the two knew each other, Mark answered, “We’re business partners.” Thirty-three years later, a Twitter user watching old episodes affectionately posted: … Read More

[swanlake1998]

Article: For transgender dancers, progress can't come fast enough

Date: March 8, 2020

By: Avichai Scher

Sean Dorsey was tired of being the only transgender dancer in the room. So he took the bold step of starting his own company, the San Francisco-based Sean Dorsey Dance, and become the first openly trans director of a full-time dance company. It was a milestone for transgender and gender-nonconforming dancers and choreographers, and Dorsey hoped it would lead to a more inclusive dance world.

The company is celebrating its 15th anniversary this year, yet Dorsey remains the only openly trans artistic director of a full-time dance company in the country.

“We’ve definitely made progress since I started, when there was really no context for institutional or social support of trans dancers,” Dorsey said. “But there’s still a major lack of representation across the dance world.”

Dance, especially older forms such as ballet and modern dance, is mostly structured around strict gender lines. While the growing acceptance of transgender people in the United States has extended somewhat into the art form, trans dancers are often forced to choose between being their authentic selves and career opportunities.

Issues start in training

Dorsey’s choreography often deals with trans issues, and he is committed to being an advocate in the dance world for transgender people. But even in his own company, Dorsey is the only trans performer.

“In San Francisco, at least, I don’t have the luxury of holding an audition for trans dancers,” he said. “There just aren’t very many at the professional level.”

Dorsey said this is largely because barriers for trans and gender-nonconforming dancers start at a young age — as most training programs are gender-specific.

Jayna Ledford, 19, made headlines when she came out as transgender in an Instagram post in 2018. She was studying at the Kirov Ballet Academy at the time, a traditional ballet program in Washington, D.C. It was the first time a dancer at an acclaimed ballet school had publicly come out as trans.

Classes at Kirov, like most ballet conservatories, are generally separated by sex assigned at birth, and when students are combined, teachers offer different steps for men and women. Ledford, however, found ways to get the training that matched her gender identity, including dancing on her toes in special pointe shoes, which is done almost exclusively by women and requires unique training.

“I wanted to do what the females were doing,” she said. “I’d do it on the side and not pay attention to what the guys were doing. I’d also stay after class and practice pointe technique with my female friends.”

She hadn’t had the training other females at the school had, but she was hoping to transfer from the men’s program to the women’s.

“I knew I had a lot of catching up to do in terms of pointe work,” she said. “But just being in the room with the females, that’s what I wanted.”

The Kirov Academy told Ledford she could not join the women’s program unless she physically transitioned. Ledford was not ready for that, so she left the school. She was disappointed but now says she understands the academy’s position. The school confirmed Ledford’s account but declined to comment.

Maxfield Haynes, 22, who is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns, said the large, prestigious ballet school where they trained was not supportive of someone presenting as male wearing pointe shoes.

It wasn’t until Haynes enrolled at Tisch School of the Arts at New York University that they were able to explore the more feminine aspects of ballet technique. Ledford also found higher education to be more supportive than a conservatory. She now studies at Montclair State University and practices pointe technique daily.

Lack of professional opportunities

After NYU, Haynes chose to dance with Complexions Contemporary Ballet partially because the company is explicitly supportive of gender fluidity, and even had a specific role for Haynes that is gender-nonconforming. In the David Bowie tribute piece, “Stardust,” Haynes dons pointe shoes and was partnered with male dancers.

“It was everything I could have dreamed of,” Haynes said of the role. “As nonbinary, I like to get to show all aspects of gender. I don’t think about dancing like a man or a woman, just myself.”

Opportunities to dance roles that are gender-nonconforming are rare in the concert dance world, even if dancers are becoming more open about being gender-nonconforming in their offstage lives. And those who want to physically transition face a stark choice, as none of the major dance companies in the U.S. currently have openly transgender dancers on their rosters.

Alby Sabrina Pretto recently made the difficult choice to begin physically transitioning with hormone replacement therapy at the expense of her performing career. She was a dancer with Les Ballet Trockadero de Monte Carlo, an all-male comedy troupe, for eight years. While she got to dance in pointe shoes, the style of the company is rooted in the comedy of men portraying women, which ultimately wasn’t how Pretto identified.

“There were moments I wanted to do things like a ballerina would and be ethereal and pretty,” Pretto said. “To dance like a woman.”

She knew that physically transitioning would mean she could not continue with the company.

“I wanted to have a career, and that slowed down my decision to transition,” Pretto said. “I waited until I felt like I had done what I wanted to do there.”

Liz Harler, general manager of Les Ballet Trockadero, said in a statement that transitioning does not disqualify dancers from the company.

“Dancers who expressed interest in transitioning to female have been told that their job would not be in jeopardy, though none have chosen to do so while continuing with the Trocks’ rigorous dancing and touring schedule,” Harler said.

Both Ledford and Pretto hope for the day when they can attend an audition and be hired without having to explain their gender identity.

Ledford said. “I’ll audition as any other woman. If I get in, then I’ll sit down and talk with them.”

Ledford is “optimistic” that this can happen in the next few years, but Pretto isn’t so sure.

“I am not naive, I know I cannot just audition for a major ballet company and join the female corps de ballet,” Pretto said. “But I would love for that to happen for me. It’s the ultimate dream.”

Her skepticism is partly based on the experience of her former Trockadero colleague, Chase Johnsey, who is gender fluid. He made headlines in 2018 when he was cast in a female ensemble role in the English National Ballet’s production of “Sleeping Beauty,” though it was not on pointe, and the heavy costume concealed his body. No additional female roles came his way afterward.

The question of who gets opportunities as a dancer often comes down to the taste of directors and producers and what they imagine their audiences want to see, not just ability.

Pretto danced a couple of character roles recently with Eglevsky Ballet, a growing ballet ensemble on Long Island, New York. The director, Maurice Brandon Curry, said he would consider Pretto for a female ensemble role next year, because her pointe work is “excellent,” though he wonders how some in the audience will react.

“Casting Alby in a female role would not be about passing as female, but I’d be lying if I didn’t acknowledge my concern about an audience member who was offended,” Curry said. “But art is not prejudice; it’s about inclusivity and open minds. If someone is not willing to have that experience, they don’t have a legitimate place in our audiences.”

Signs of change

Dorsey said that even having discussions about gender identity in dance is progress from when he started, and he’s encouraged by changes he’s seen: Most theaters either already have gender-neutral restrooms or create them for his company’s visit; trans and gender-nonconforming students attend his workshops in various cities and share with him their efforts to be accepted in their dance communities; the San Francisco Ballet persuaded him to lead a training session on gender identity in dance; and he was on the cover of Dance Magazine.

Ledford was recently a “Gaynor Girl,” a spokesperson for the popular pointe shoe brand Gaynor Minded. Pretto said she worked up the courage to use the ladies' locker room at one of New York’s busiest studios, Steps on Broadway, and no one seemed to mind.

Still, the art form has not yet caught up to reflect the audience, Dorsey said. His company has worked in over 30 cities in the U.S. and abroad, and he is usually the first trans choreographer a theater has presented. But he said the response from audiences is almost always positive.

“Dance audiences are ready and hungry for trans voices,” he said. “It's our dance institutions that are still catching up.”

[tommyoboe]

MANCHESTER - PART THIRTY.

OK, here it goes.

I haven't planned this in great detail, so this might just turn into me dwelling and feeling sad that this amazing experience in this amazing place is coming to a close.

It's alright, I'll throw in some sarciness and shade to lift all our spirits.

Saying that, it is important to reflect on feelings of doubt and negativity towards what may come next, as from that I am beginning to come to some real conclusions on what it is I want now that summer is here and the future is in touching distance.

Before I figure that out, back to the last couple of weeks. Rehearsals for Symphony Orchestra took centre stage and were a pleasure overall. Martyn Brabbins is a fantastic conductor and really brought the best out of us during our week together. It was surreal having positive comments such as 'if you keep playing like this they'll write a musical about you'. To an insanely modest and doubtful mind like mine, that really means a lot, and is potentially the difference between me settling for feeling average and really going for playing in the future as my primary aim.

Something else that meant a lot to me was my recital feedback from my final assessment in June. There was excitable chatter amongst all students receiving their feedback via email at the end of a rehearsal, and then a quick dispersion as we all peeked at our marks and made our way to quiet corners to take in the detailed feedback.

Both of those things for me were honestly, phenomenal. I got an astounding 88%, and more importantly the comments were of immense use and highlighted all the progress I have made in the last couple of years. So, thanks RNCM for that.

I have pretty serious withdrawal symptoms after last Friday's Shostakovich 8 gig. It was my first time playing at the Bridgewater Hall, and what a venue to play this monumental symphony in, and to have a huge solo. I was incredibly nervous throughout, and the solo passage was not quite as great as I wanted it to be, but just to have done that as a bucket list item and something I can talk about for years to come makes me extremely happy.

It was lovely catching up with others afterwards over a few drinks. Several people congratulated me and my fellow musicians for the performance and again, that meant a lot. All these people mean a lot to me.

An empty shell is how I felt as I woke up the next morning on five hours sleep to take the coach down to Birmingham. My lovely boy Cameron was waiting for me on arrival and we enjoyed some cute treats. It was all nice and relaxing ahead of an audition for the Royal Opera House Principal Oboe job on Sunday, but I still felt this sense of emptiness now that a project I was so invested in had come to an end, potentially the last of that kind of stature for a while.

The audition itself wasn't successful, which probably was down to not having sufficient time to put the work into the requirements and still not being used to the experience as a whole. The latter part I feel is verging on impossible to replicate, except with more auditions. These should be in the pipeline later this year so I won't have to put my oboe away for good just yet.

This week I spent some time playing side by side with musicians of Manchester Camerata. The experience highlighted that even in the last couple of months I have progressed sufficiently, with issues much more fleeting and inconsequential at this stage. It feels like the transition from student to professional is happening, even if not completely transparent yet.

Whilst the following days have been a mixture of sweet nothingness, playing at the RNCM for the last time, and hanging out with friends over sangria (or in my case, a hip flask of whisky) and Cards Against Humanity, this weekend I returned to Ripon for another gig with the St. Cecilia Orchestra in the glorious Ripon Cathedral. The change of scenery was good for me and made me miss Manchester. That being said, I am happy to be back for this coming week of putting in place the plan for the future (ugh, I sound like a Tory leadership candidate, too real and too gross) and saying farewells to friends for the last time in a while.

And like that, my time in Manchester will come to its end. It really is awfully sad, removing the safety blanket and vibrant bubble that is the RNCM, but I know it's necessary for my long term happiness, as now I will figure out what I really want. I still don't know is my current answer.

What I do know is that from my first lesson back in Birmingham where I forgot my oboe and continued to be a blundering buffoon for the next five years, leaving instruments on buses, forgetting reeds for technical exams and occasionally just being a dick to the people around me, I have come a long way.

In contrast to making a dear friend out of a white wall whilst on Zoom almost exclusively last year, this one turned all that upside down. I had the most insane experience in Paris, where I lived in an area that was both beautiful but known as the worst neighbourhood in France. I strolled around many of the cities arrondissements on my own, independently and doing all the things and having all the experiences I really wanted to, from the museums to the food to hosting Cameron and my folks here. That's the stuff I dream about and yearn to replicate.

It was really hard though, despite all that. I was out of place in the oboe class for not being a superstar with frequent incoming professional work, my French wasn't the best, and I couldn't bring myself to socialise to the point of panic attacks.

So to say au revoir to that and to be welcomed in a hugely positive way back to Manchester made for a super second semester. I was immediately playing in the Concerto Competition Final, followed by a full Symphony Orchestra project, the first since the pandemic.

I led a performance of Brahms 3 with members of the Chamber Orchestra of Europe, literally starting and ending the whole work without conductor.

And then a full opera production of Le Nozze di Figaro! I'm particularly grateful for this experience, as this solidified both my music making and friendships. I got to know people on a much closer basis, and for that I'm grateful, especially seeing that people wanted to open themselves up to me. I'm still working on that in return.

The increased collaboration with other musicians this final term in chamber music projects has been super special, as from this I have gained more friends and people that give me inspiration and a sense of life. I loved my final recital, and to watch others blossom with theirs was truly rewarding.

Winning the Rothwell Prize for oboe gave me such a boost, as did the whole final Symphony Orchestra experience. Thanks RNCM for giving me all of this.

And to top it off, I had the pleasure of playing with the CBSO, and being asked to play with other orchestras! That is just mind blowing. I will do everything in my power to ensure it continues, because that feeling of bringing something to life with a huge force of dedicated musicians is so special.

I'm excited to now have the time to really make things happen. And if they take a while, that's OK, as what I have done up to this point I can be proud of. And that makes me happy.

The people I have met, and will continue to meet, make me happy. Cameron makes me happy, as do my family, and all those that have helped me to get to where I am today.

Thank you all. You know who you are and you are all wonderful.

Whatever the future holds, I'm looking forward to it, as it will be full of stories to tell.

Cheers to that, everyone. Now, let's go do life again.

[chibicalzones]

𝐚𝐨𝐛𝐚 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐬𝐚𝐢 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦

⋆° where you transfer schools and join your new high school’s dance team!

...these are also just my personal headcannons if the volleyboys were a dance team instead in which some may or may not be from personal experiences :D 

i was gonna do a fukurodani one first cuz @myhaikyuudump​ ‘s post triggered smth in me but i’ll probs make this into a series!

warning: mentions of bullying but it’s not explicit 

post made by: alex 🍒 

— oikawa

he’s been part of the school’s dance team ever since he was a freshman, which not many can do, and now since it’s his last year, the coach granted him the role as dance team captain 

he loves being captain if that means he can boast about his team that much more, plus he takes his duties pretty seriously 

is literally the type to put “aoba johsai dance team” “ajdt 2020” “dt for life” in every single one of his socials - instagram, twitter, facebook, etc. everyone needs to knows he’s on dance team

as much as he loves his team, they’re more known for and primarily train in hip hop, and he’s part of the handful that is classically trained in ballet

so when competition season rolls around, everyone would be part of the large hip hop dance category that they’re a shoo-in to win, but oikawa and a few others would have to compete in the small categories with 3-5 people in jazz, contemporary, and lyrical. which are usually extremely competitive!

so he’s over the moon to have you part of the team! not only do you blend in with the team so perfectly, he believes that you’re what the team needs to finally win in a category besides hip hop since you’re hands down so talented! 

that way, he can spend his time at nationals actually dancing and not just watching almost the entire time

out of all the members, you probably spend the most time with oikawa 

you expect just as much because you’re both the in the same dances, which is practically every dance. but you honestly do enjoy his company since you and him have a lot more in common, have a similar childhood, than the rest of the members 

oikawa used to dread summer practices and camps but you makes it so much more bearable

would drive you to and from dance practices every day 

all the time that he spends with you, he secretly lets you in on the “behind the scenes” action on being an officer and what he does all year long 

because he’s 100% sure you’ll be captain your third year as well 

is secretly anticipating the national dance pageant so you and him can win Mr. and Ms. Dance together 

— iwaizumi 

he’s co-captain of the entire team but he’s like the unofficial hip hop team captain because oikawa sometimes can’t handle the energy during hip hop practice and iwai just knows the counts better 

he only joined dance team because oikawa dragged him into it but he needed up really liking it by the end 

has casually danced and took some classes over summer to fill his time before auditioning and the odds were in his favor

absolutely loves the friends that he’s made through dance team and is definitely the type to still keep in touch with the alumni after they graduate

he always gets a center moment in every single hip hop dance they do through the years whether it be for competition, concerts, rallies, events - people go wild whenever he’s center!

when you did some research on the school and it’s dance program, you did some snooping on the members page and after watching countless dance videos, he’s the first one that you notice

but meeting him in person was quite intimidating the first time. it took you a couple of weeks before you could actually have a conversation with him with just the two of you

since you hang out with oikawa during dance practices and oikawa hangs out with iwaizumi, you end up hanging out with him a lot too. so you eventually ease up to him

you may be comfortable with oikawa more, but iwaizumi is the one that constantly checks up on you

all these years, he’s seen what oikawa has been through and he sees that in you. he really worries for you because he knows how exhausting it is to be a new member and constantly having to work your way up so you can eventually fill the holes once the third years leave

always takes you off campus to eat lunch or go somewhere to eat after school so you’re energized for practice later that day

he’s the first to give you his number and makes it clear that you can text or call him if you ever need anything

— matsukawa

didn’t expect people to know him for dance team but he’s surprised he’s pretty famous around school

known for the tricks and flips that he does during all their routines 

actually has really good musicality but whenever he choreographs a piece for the group, he doesn’t know the counts 

talks so causally to the coaches as if they were friends but isn’t a kiss up 

thinks summer practices are too tiring and offers everyone to go to his place after to cool off 

strangely enough, you got along with mattsun faster than you did iwaizumi 

when the team started to learn their large hip hop routine for competition back in the summer, you were having such a hard time learning the dance because your body just wasn’t used to moving your body that way

and you didn’t want to bother iwaizumi or oikawa because you knew they’d be too busy looking after the whole team

so during the group’s free time, he would play the music over and over again and practice the dance with you, carefully going through everything section by section 

even gives you an extra key to the dance room so you can practice before school 

you can always count on him for help on any of the dances you’re in together 

yells the loudest whenever you’re on the floor / stage. even when he’s watching from the wings

always tries to make each moment of his last year fun!

— hanamaki

joined the dance team his second year but turns out to be an awesome dancer and makes friends oddly quick

one of the few that auditioned to be part of the smaller group pieces for compeitions and got in

gets a killer turn section and always squeezes in a triple to transition into the floor during improv

despite only dancing for such a short time, agencies have come in contact with him to see if he was interested in signing under their talent agency but he always resigns because that just isn’t for him

all the third years have a solo except for him because he didn’t feel like it was fair that he wasn’t a “third year senior” and that someone else deserves it more

like you!

is amazed at how gorgeous you dance and knows you’ll be gracing the floor with your talent, getting all those gold metals, plaques, and trophies!

he might be a little jealous over you but seeing you being so passionate over the sport makes him work even harder to make himself — and the team — better

absolutely does not and cannot tolerate other people’s bullying towards you. he just doesn’t understand how or why people felt the need to be rude towards you. and have the audacity to voice it out.

one time when he caught a group of dancers from another school talk bad about you, saying nasty things that obviously weren’t true, he snuck behind their back and said in a low voice, “you know those aren’t very nice thing to say” and looks down on them until they run away scared

also deletes any hate comments on the team’s official social pages before you could read any

the very first time you perform your solo, he buys you a bouquet of flowers to give to you afterwards

and then during the end of the year dance concert, he watches you from the wings performing your solo for the last time and he starts to tear up because he’ll definitely never forget this year where he was able to watch you grow

— kindaichi, kunimi, and kyotani 

your #1 support group 

and fan club!

absolutely loves watching you dance

they all joined the same year you did and they’re all slightly jealous of you because damn, how can someone be good at literally everything

it’s almost upsetting >:( but they love you too much to actually be mad

they just have such a deep appreciation for you and what you bring to the team as a whole even though they don’t show it that often

learns a lot from you

when they first watched you dance contemporary and ballet, that inspired them to practice extra after hours so they could be ready for when they have to audition for dances later on the year

the goal is that the trio will be good enough by the time their third year hits and they’ll be the ones on the floor with you performing all the small dances

ever since you guys first met at orientation, you were all attached to the hip in and outside of dance. basically on the same playing field for next three years in terms of fitting in with the team

you’re not in the same classes but you guys all study together at the library on sundays because that’s your only day off

one time, the team was at a competition the same day as your birthday and they paid the announcer to say something like, “happy birthday to our best friend, dance your heart out!” right before they played the music for your solo

and during their last year, they’ll all gather around in the wings as they watch you perform your senior solo for the last time and silently cry together because they’ll really miss you

[shadowbanki]

Vocal Synth Total Drama Island AU Concept (so far)

———Very Short Character Introductions——— (56 campers in all, aged 14-18) Haku Yowane- A sweet, lonely, sensitive girl with a lot of heart. Age 17. Neru Akita- A courageous tomboy who is misunderstood. Age 17. Miku Hatsune- A bubbly, cheerful, outgoing girl with a lot of friends. Age 15. Luka Megurine- An artistic girl who has a bit of anxiety. Good friends with Meiko. Age 18. Teto Kasane- A bubbly, cheerful girl with an unexpected temper and badass side. Age 15. Megumi “Gumi”- A bit shy, but underneath, she is very brave and resourceful. Age 16. Meiko Sakine- The Mom Friend. Confident and likes to help people. Age 18. Momo Momone- The nicest girl, to the point of being a pushover… Age 15. Rin Kagamine- Unhinged gremlin sibling 1. Loves causing mayhem. Age 14. Len Kagamine- Unhinged gremlin sibling 2. Loves causing chaos. Age 14. Eleanor Forte- The mean girl and drama queen. Cause of lots of drama. Age 17. Kaito Shion- The dorky boy who always has a cheesy smile on his face. Age 17. Akaito Shion- The moody playboy. More serious than Kaito, but bad-tempered. Age 18. Koto Fuuga- Nature girl. Knows all about bird calls, animal behavior, and more. Age 16. Taya Soune- An extremely polite guy. Always dresses formally. Always. Age 15. Ruko Yokune- Despite her height and quirky love of coffee, quite level-headed. Age 15. Ritsu Namine- Loud and obnoxious, but has a caring and wise side? Age 15. Merli Aoki- A snobby, pretentious girl. Not Like Other Girls. Age 17. Lapis Aoki- Mischievous and up to trouble. Merli’s sister. Age 15. Gakupo Kamui- He’s… just strange. And eccentric. And awkward. Age 17. Miku “Zatsune”- A wannabe goth. Basically, she’s in training. Thinks she’s edgy. Age 15. Uta “Defoko” Utane- A sarcastic, moody teenage girl. But she does have a sweet side. Age 15. Dell Honne- Haku’s grumpy, angsty half brother she hasn’t seen in years. Age 18. Yuuma- The popular boy. Eleanor likes him. Can be materialistic. Age 18. Dandy “704”- A very arrogant and vain guy. Quite selfish and loves to show off. Age 18. “Lady” Parsec- A commanding bully who demands and orders people around. Age 17. Yuu- A cheerful guy who likes parties and fun. Age 16. Wil- A somewhat quiet, mysterious guy who keeps to himself. Age 16. Kyo- A wild guy who is impulsive and kind of dumb. Age 16. Daina- Basically, she’s a furry. Her fursona is a fox. Age 17. Dex- Basically, he’s a furry. His fursona is a wolf. Age 17. Ruby- A girl who likes memes and is basically just vibing through life. Age 16. Yukari Yuzuki- A modest girl who has a crush on Ruby. Easily impressed. Age 16. Shian- An innocent girl who is also quick-tempered and pouts easily. Age 14. Muxin- A kind, knowledgeable boy. He loves history and astronomy. Age 14. IA- A bit mysterious and seems cold and expressionless. Age 16. Piko Utatane- Shy, quiet, and cold. Gets along with Muxin due to similar interests. Age 15. Genbu- Overly-enthusiastic and brash. A bit of a loudmouth. Age 18. Chiyu- Bold, brash, and brave. Kind-hearted and strong. Age 17. Haiyi- Talks a lot. Usually has something up her sleeve. A prank perhaps? Age 16. Leeds Kasumiga- A timid girl with a mysterious heart illness that inhibits her. Age 14. Mew- A real goth, unlike Zatsune, who is a goth-in-training. Age 18. Tei Sukone- A dastardly, manipulative villain who fools people, then bites. Age 16. Cider- A smug, self-absorbed inventor of elaborate but stupid inventions. Age 17. Bruno- An agreeable, outgoing guy who likes spreading good vibes. Age 18. Clara- Bruno’s girlfriend. A little bit timid, but always kind and optimistic. Age 17. Aku Yamine- Quiet and a bit melancholic. She’s… a different type of goth. Emo? Age 14. Lily- A tough high-school delinquent who stands up for the weak. Age 17. Amy- Cheerful, optimistic, yet quite chill. Doubts herself often however. Age 16. Chris- He might be a big guy, but he is quite shy and very gentle. Age 18. Kaori- She seems confident and bright on the outside, but hides sadness? Age 17. Ken- He’s talkative, smart, kind of a dork, but very focused and brave. Age 17. Iroha Nekomura- Innocent and sweet, but agile, with cat-like reflexes. Age 14. SeeU- Energetic, hyperactive, makes bad puns, silly, makes bad puns… Age 16. Kiyoteru Hiyama is the host of the game show. Big Al is in the role of Chef. ——Episodes——— Prologue 1- Introduction to concept. Characters see the advertisement for the game show and contemplate going on it. The winner gets a million dollars! Prologue 2- Introduction to characters via their audition videos, part 1. Kiyoteru chooses contestants. Prologue 3- Introduction to characters via their audition videos, part 2. Kiyoteru chooses contestants. Episode 1- Everyone arrives at Total Drama Island and meets each other. Some get along, and many clash. Notable big-drama-causers include Tei, Eleanor, Dandy, Parsec, Cider, Merli sometimes, and Zatsune sometimes. Koto, Genbu, Ritsu, Haiyi, Daina, and Dex stick out for being especially wild. But really, everyone’s unique personality contributes to the drama and pot of chemistry in their own way. Another camper who sticks out is Gakupo Kamui, who enthusiastically boasts about his skills in martial arts and how ready he is to win Total Drama Island. He begins to get on the nerves of the other campers. “I can out-run, out-kick, out-sing, out-wit, and even out-PISS anybody else here.” Gakupo says. “Well, can you do us a favor and GET-out?” Meiko says. Episode 2- Campers have to jump off a one thousand-foot cliff into a shark-infested lake. Then they have to pull some crates back to camp, and the team from before with the most people who jumped get carts to help them. Then they have to build a hot tub from material found in the crates. The team with the best hot tub wins the challenge. The campers who were too scared to jump off the cliff have to wear chicken costumes for the rest of the day. Despite his incessant bragging previously, Gakupo is one of the few campers who does not jump off the cliff, because it is revealed he is scared of heights, sharks, AND deep water! He even pisses himself and dramatically faints when he gets close to the edge of the cliff... and then he faints off the cliff! However, his jump isn’t accounted for, because Gakupo was not conscious during his fall. Luka has to be the one to jump in after and rescue him! This causes Gakupo of The Dangerous Dolphins to be the first campter voted off. “Well… I guess he was right about out-pissing everyone here.” Neru laughs. The other campers too scared to jump are Taya, Dandy, Eleanor, Clara, Muxin, Chris, and Kaito. Haku is at first too scared, but her best friend Neru encourages her to be brave. They jump together and yell funny things on the way down. Even though Eleanor is scared, she ends up going over anyway after Chiyu pushes her off the cliff, being sick of Eleanor’s arrogance. However, it isn’t even accounted for, because Eleanor did not jump by her own will. Clara is too frightened and doesn’t make the jump, which is surprising, because she was so enthusiastic before. However, her boyfriend Bruno jumped without her… Taya takes one look down the cliff and starts backing away, crying from fear. He feels ashamed that he’s so scared, but he cannot help it. He gets pats on the back from Clara. Dandy makes an excuse as to why he can’t jump. He says he has an open wound from a fencing accident. In reality, Dandy does not fence. Muxin is too scared, but asserts that he doesn’t have to jump off the cliff if he doesn’t want to, and that the challenge is ridiculous. He then comforts Taya, who is curled up sobbing, and tells him not to feel shame. Taya and Muxin become friends, but sadly are on different teams. Chris is too scared and actually starts crying too. People don’t expect it. Kaito is scared to jump, panics and makes a bit of a scene, and is then picked on and belittled by his brother Akaito for the rest of the day. Kaito then vows he will become braver from here on. Braver, and stronger! Leeds actually does jump from the cliff, but it causes her heart to become weak and she has trouble walking for the rest of the day. Some of the members on her team rudely deem her a nuisance, but others tell her to take it easy and understand her. Afterwards, Clara gets a bit sour at Bruno, who is her boyfriend, for jumping the cliff without noticing she was too scared. Koto jumps the cliff and she actually has fun. But afterwards, she wears a chicken suit anyway, because she loves birds. Episode 3- The challenge is to stay awake the longest in the "Awake-A-Thon" after running twenty-kilometers and eating a huge meal that includes turkey, which is known for making people sleepy. Dell of The Killer Porpoises gets voted off for falling asleep first. He generally has a bad attitude and is apathetic. Haku feels heartbroken because Total Drama Island was the first time she had seen Dell since her parents’ divorce (by complete chance, even,) and he is not the warm person he used to be. Also, the time was so short. But unexpectedly, Dell acts nice to Haku right before he leaves, calling her to his room when he’s packing to go off the island. They have a nice conversation. Before Haku says goodbye, Dell says “Listen, I’m just not cut out for this wacky game. So you better win. I KNOW you can do it.” Haku begins crying and hugs Dell. Just like when they were kids. There will eventually be a list of who falls asleep first to last, but that’s quite convoluted. So I will say Dell falls asleep first, and Ruko second. Campers were not allowed to drink coffee during the challenge, rendering our Long Sleeper without access to her “secret weapon.” Koto stays up the longest, because she is a bird lover and loves birds too much to consume them. She was the only one who didn’t eat any turkey with her meal, and therefore didn’t become as sleepy. Also simply because she is badass and feral. Episode 4- A best-of-five dodgeball game. Five people are randomly chosen on each team. This is repeated three times for a total of three rounds of dodgeball. The Dangerous Dolphins win 2 out of 3 games. Zatsune of The Killer Porpoises gets voted off for being scared of dodgeball. It was a fear ingrained into her from her elementary school days, when the “dodgeball kids would bully her.” Sadly, since Zatsune always acts so cocky, nobody feels much sympathy now. Taya and Muxin want to spend time with each other. Being on different teams, they can’t, and are deemed traitors. But when Tei, on Taya’s team, suggests Taya could get valuable information about the other team via Muxin, Taya refuses to sabotage their friendship. This causes Tei to begin picking on Taya… Episode 5- A three-on-three talent show contest. Dex of The Killer Porpoises gets voted off for no reason. He wasn’t even in the talent show! Dandy wanted to get chosen by his team, the Dangerous Dolphins, to be in the talent show, claiming his “talent” was unmatched. However, he wasn’t chosen because he didn’t exactly have any real actual skills despite his claim! Taya, Luka, and Gumi are eventually chosen by the Dangerous Dolphins for their talents in music. Luka will play piano, Taya will play the violin, and Gumi will play the electric bass as they all sing a song cover. This causes Dandy to criticize their every note and call them amateur. Given Taya and Gumi’s low self-esteem, Dandy’s criticism gets to them before the final talent show. As for the Killer Porpoises, Yuuma, Ritsu, and IA get chosen as the team’s musicians. They form more of an idol dance group, with a pre-recorded background track. (It will also be a cover.) The Dangerous Dolphins actually win. If they were to have lost, Dandy would’ve probably been the one voted off for being a prick. Episode 6- Campers have to go to the forest, stay out there overnight, then race back to the campgrounds in the morning. Yukari of the Killer Porpoises gets voted off. See, it wasn’t really Yukari’s fault, but… she got attacked by a bear and is now too injured to stay for the game, so the voting off was mandatory, even though the Killer Porpoises otherwise won. Everyone becomes more-or-less traumatized at this, and feel very hurt for Yukari. Episode 7- Campers have to face their worst fear, specific to each camper. Yuuma gets voted off. Koto’s worst fear is the perfume department from Spongebob, because that scene scarred her as a little kid. So the host of the game show, Kiyoteru, magically opens a door to the perfume department at a real department store and Koto has to walk through it. Koto only makes it 5 steps in before she runs out, screaming. She does not pass her fear test! Yuuma is scared of the Crab Rave because there are too many crabs. So he is taken to a part of the island overrun by crabs, and Kiyoteru turns on the Crab Rave song and they all start dancing. Yuuma dives into the water screaming. But the crabs chase him. He doesn’t pass his fear test. Taya attempts to outwit Kiyoteru and pretends he is afraid of strawberry shortcake, which is actually his favorite food. But everyone remembers how scared he was in the first challenge at the cliff. So Taya’s specific challenge is to jump off the cliff this time… Episode 8- Row a canoe to Boney Island, portage across the island, start a bonfire, and canoe back to camp. Wil gets voted off. Episode 9- Hunt the other team dressed as deers with paintball guns, or if one is a deer, avoid being hit by them. Piko gets voted off. Episode 10- Create a three-course meal for Kiyoteru to judge. Three chefs are chosen from each team. Miku gets voted off. Episode 11- Participate in a set of three-out-of-five trust exercises. Shian gets voted off. Episode 12- Make it through Big Al’s life-threatening and disgusting boot-camp challenges. IA gets voted off. Episode 13- Participate in three extreme sport challenges. The challenges are "sofa skydiving", riding a moose while avoiding being tossed off it, and water-skiing on mud. Lapis gets voted off. Episode 14- Eat a nine course meal of disgusting food made by Big Al. Drink shot glasses of blended cockroaches. Yuu gets voted off. Episode 15- Episode 16- Episode 17- Episode 18- Episode 19- Episode 20- Episode 21- Episode 22- Episode 23- Episode 24- Episode 25- Episode 26- Episode 27- Episode 28- Episode 29- Episode 30- Episode 31 Episode 32- Episode 33- Episode 34- Episode 35- Episode 36- Episode 37- Episode 38- Episode 39- Episode 40- Episode 41- Episode 42- Episode 43- After this challenge, the teams are disbanded. It’s now every camper for themself. Episode 44- Get through several rounds of torture, lasting at least ten seconds in each one. Eleanor gets voted off because she can’t take torture. Episode 45- Receive a clue to find a key hidden somewhere in the island to open a treasure chest containing a prize. Ritsu found a dud chest and his prize was… getting voted off. Episode 46- Avoid getting sprayed by Big Al’s water gun in a game of hide and seek. Parsec gets voted off. Good riddance! Episode 47- Build a bike from scratch, and then race it. Who rides who’s bike? Anyway, Dandy gets voted off. Probably because he’s 7 foot 4 and huge. He probably broke all the bikes. Episode 48- Watch a horror movie and then avoid being captured by a "deranged killer". Gumi gets voted off because she was scared. Episode 49- Catch the specific animal assigned by Kiyoteru and bring it back to the campground unharmed. Taya had to bring back a raccoon. He came back first. Koto had to bring back a bear. She came back second. What a total beast! And I’m talking about KOTO! Genbu had to bring back an eagle. He came back third. Leeds had to bring back a frog. She came back fourth. Kaito had to being back a squirrel. He came back fifth. Haku had to bring back a moose. She came back sixth. Tei gets sent off because she couldn’t bring back a mere chipmunk. The little chipmunk was trained in king-fu and ended up beating her up! Hooray! Episode 50- Compete in the following while handcuffed to one of the other campers: eat disgusting food with your hands behind your back while the person handcuffed to you feeds you, return a fragment of Haku’s cursed tiki idol to Boney Island, and assemble a totem pole with the wooden heads of the voted out campers in the order that they are eliminated. Taya gets voted off. Episode 51- Campers have to find Kiyoteru and Big Al after being washed away by a storm. Leeds gets voted off because her condition came to its worse. Her weak heart had finally failed on her and she suffered a heart attack. She was doing so good in the game despite her shortcomings, and will serve as an inspiration for many. Leeds will not die. She is in good hands. She will get top medical care. Now, a twist is revealed to the audience. Everyone who was voted off actually went to go to a beautiful island resort. The remaining campers still don’t know about this. When Leeds finally gets consciousness back, she finds she is in paradise. At first, she thinks she is dead. The room then fills up with everyone else voted off, and she begins crying. “They really killed you?” She cries. “No, Leeds!” Yukari says. “You’re alive! You made it… to Paradise Island!” Episode 52- An episode dedicated to the Island of Losers, which is actually a five-star island resort paradise. Yukari has fully recovered from her injuries. Gakupo and all the others who were eliminated early finally get their time to shine! The losers will also be involved in the episodes to come, as they will be the audience. Episode 53- The campers have to find their way back to camp after being left in the wild with limited supplies. Unexpectedly, our total beast, Koto Fuuga, comes back last. Rumors have it, this is because she found a bird sanctuary and got distracted. Episode 54- Survive a series of dares, given by the eliminated campers until someone drops out. Haku is forced to do something horrible by Tei. Tei dares Haku to joke around and portray offensive stereotypes. On national TV. She just can’t do it… She drops out, but not before insulting Tei to her face. But Kaito says Haku made the right choice. She sacrificed her chance to win a million dollars so that Tei didn’t have to force her to make a choice that could hurt people when they see it on TV. Kaito thinks Haku deserves an amazing consolation prize. Genbu respects Haku for this as well. Episode 55- The two remaining campers have to climb a pole and retrieve a flag, walk across a board on top of shark-infested waters while carrying an eagle's egg, and run a race to cross the finish line. Kaito is about to give up… but… There is ice cream at the finish line! Kaito makes a mad dash to the finish line and wins Total Drama Island!! Episode 56- Kaito won! But there is a twist. In order to actually win the million dollars, he has to find the a case containing the $1,000,000 and bring it to the Dock of Shame before anyone else does! This is a race between him and all the other campers! If any of the other campers being it to the Dock of Shame before Kaito, there will be a whole second season of Total Drama Island, and Kaito will have to win all over again before he gets his million dollars… ———Teams——— ———The Dangerous Dolphins——— Taya Chiyu Meiko Kyo Koto Tei Momo Neru Akaito Clara Gakupo Gumi Shian Dandy Luka Merli Daina Haiyi Lily Len Amy Ken SeeU Cider Teto Haku Uta ———The Killer Porpoises——— Yuuma Zatsune Mew Eleanor Ruby Dell Kaito Ruko Ritsu Wil Leeds Genbu Dex Bruno Iroha Miku Piko IA Chris Kaori Yuu Parsec Rin Lapis Yukari Aku Muxin ———Notable relationships——— Familial- Akaito and Kaito are brothers. Lapis and Merli are adoptive sisters. Haku and Dell are half-siblings who don’t live together, and haven’t seen each other in years before Total Drama Island. Rin and Len are twin siblings. Haku and Miku are cousins. Amy and Chris are cousins. Kaori and Ken are twin siblings, yet distant. They didn’t grow up in the same household. Ruko has a close cousin named Rook, who isn’t on TDI. Momo has an older brother, Momotaro, who isn’t on TDI. Uta has a younger sister, Koe, and two older brothers, Hibiki and Kanade, who aren’t on TDI. Teto has an older brother, Ted, who isn’t on TDI. Leeds has an older brother, Loop, who isn’t on TDI. Yukari has a little sister named Akari who isn’t on TDI. IA has a little sister named One who isn’t on TDI. Friendship- Miku, Rin, Len, and Luka have been a group of friends before TDI Haku and Neru were best friends before TDI Dex and Daina were best friends before TDI Momo, Teto, and Uta were best friends before TDI Ruko meets Ritsu and they become best friends Taya and Muxin become unlikely friends, despite being on different teams Romance- Bruno and Clara were dating before TDI Teto and Momo’s friendship eventually becomes romance. Haku meets Luka and they form a budding romance Amy meets Kaori and they form a budding romance Taya meets Uta and they form a budding romance Muxin meets Piko and they form a budding romance Lily meets Gumi and they form a budding romance Crushes- Len has always a crush on Miku. Tei has an obsessive crush on Kaito. Yukari has a crush on Ruby. Leeds has an embarrassing crush on Genbu. Eleanor has a crush on Yuuma. Ken has a crush on Chris. Dandy has a crush on Parsec. Akaito has a crush on Haku. Zatsune has a crush on Mew. She denies it. Gumi has a crush on IA. Dislike- Dandy and Cider always fight… with a weird sort of tension. Akaito and Uta don’t get along Miku Zatsune and Miku Hatsune don’t get along Lily and Merli don’t get along (MORE COMING SOON)

[omgkalyppso]

Number 4 for the romance lyric prompt for any variation of the ot4!

4. ‘Cause girls like you run 'round with guys like me 'til sun down.

The lyric is from Girls Like You by Maroon 5 (idk how obvious this is without me saying it), and was added to the playlist specifically for Claude x Hilda though a lot of the lyrics have to be taken at face value because it could be interpret extremely negatively, though not that line, and not my intent. I'll try writing a few words of the stage-production au.

I didn't read over this when I finished.

Here's the first post of the stage-production au: [HERE]

Most of the cast were gone for the day, though the actors who had agreed to go out afterwards had lounged in the audience. Dimitri and Edelgard stood on opposite step ladders, as crewmen held them in place, going over the lines of their final battle with a choreographer and the director.

Dimitri would be atop a large dragon puppet someday, and Edelgard would be in her Hegemon construction, but for now, they were in t-shirts and jeans and trying their best to imagine what the final product might look like.

Hubert and Dedue stood by their sides, and had stopped crouching after the fourth recitation of their lines. By now had been brought chairs to sit upon, from which they each spoke their one line, to be shouted in production, as they supported the song shared by The Rightful King and The Flame Emperor in their epic moment.

From the orchestral pit, the production's vocal coach, Yuri, played an upright piano to guide their tune and tempo.

Hilda sat between Claude and Ferdinand in the audience. Each man whispering along with the song with a bounce of his head while she sunk into her seat, amused, and embarrassed by the prospect of joining them.

It was the most genial cast Hilda had ever worked with, and when Ferdinand, Edelgard, Manuela, Seteth and Lorenz had spoken of not drinking for seven weeks before a show, the bulk of the cast had agreed to go sober for the duration; though when they'd spoken of different dietary restrictions in the week leading up to production, there'd been very little consensus. Regardless, tonight would be the last hurrah for those who drank, as Hilda didn't anyway, and they were waiting to take their friends out for the night.

It was still relatively early as far as nights went, barely seven o'clock, but that was still late enough that people were missing dinner. Hilda could hear the crinkling of a paper bag from behind her, where Mercedes and Dorothea snacked on sweet and sour chicken balls.

After three more runs of the scene, Sweetpea, their stoic mint-haired director, declared, "I think that's it." They did their best to turn to address the rest of their team, in the wings and in the audience. "I'll see most of you in four days when we join Yuri for a, hopefully less chaotic, rendition of The Storm of Myrddin. Great work."

Hilda whistled loudly in support of her castmates, while her friends applauded and hollered. Dimitri bowed to their audience, and Hubert bowed to Edelgard who rolled her eyes and laughed as she exaggerated with one hand thrown skyward as she and Dimitri made their way down their respective stepladders.

"Thank you, Yuri," called Edelgard.

"Yes, thank you, Yuri," Dimitri agreed.

"We'll practice those low notes next time," Yuri answered, before waving up out of the pit to soften his implied criticisms. "You're welcome! We're getting there. There's a lot of range to cover."

Dimitri was still insecure by the time he joined his castmates in the aisles as they marched to the exit, "Did it sound that bad?"

"No," Claude snickered.

"It's Yuri's job to strive for perfection," Dedue observed.

Hilda held her hand in front of her lips for a moment, considering her contribution. Once they were outside, she jut her elbow into Dimitri's stomach so he grunted in surprise, stumbling back into Felix.

"Eugh!"

"Hey, watch it!"

Hilda shrugged. "Just remember that sensation?"

"Don't be mean," Sylvain exaggerated with a whine, giving Dimitri his sweater he'd been holding onto.

"No, I—" Dimitri tried to mimic the same position his mouth had been in, tongue drooping forward in his mouth as he sought the pitch of his exclamation.

"You broke him," Hubert declared, his brow furrowed, at the same time that Claude, Edelgard and Dedue were following Dimitri's example and carrying a deep monotonous tone.

Edelgard even turned it into a line that Yuri had probably been concerned with, that she would sing below The Rightful King's pleas, "So that none will suffer I must forfend—"

Dorothea answered her with The Rightful King's following line, "Living and dead, I will not forget those whom I defend."

"We're not doing that," Felix said, flat.

"Right," Annette agreed, which seemed to surprise him. "Resting voices."

"Resting voices," several people echoed.

.

They followed Dedue to a Duscur place for dinner, and wolfed down their wraps as they waited in line at a club that might be large enough to accommodate their large group.

"You didn't bring your date?" Lorenz asked Felix.

"We're not dating," Felix said, as if on instinct. He thought a moment. "Wasn't this just for cast?"

Lorenz shared a frown with Hilda before he assured Felix, "I doubt anyone would have complained even if you'd brought someone unrelated to the production. We'd have been happy to—"

"Don't listen to him," Claude said, turning from Leonie so he could wrap an arm around Lorenz. "Or I mean, do, because you could have brought anyone you'd wanted, but also don't because Lorenz just chickened out of asking the other make up artist to join us and hoped they'd have tagged along with Mia."

Felix snorted.

"That's not what happened," Lorenz objected.

"Oh, sweetie," Hilda contributed with a pout. "That's exactly what happened."

"We just got to talking, and I got distracted," Lorenz contributed.

"You forgot?" Felix asked, aghast. Hilda brought her hands to her lips, failing to hide her amusement.

"It didn't come up," Lorenz countered.

"That's not better," Claude said, shaking his head. Lorenz shrugged him off and flicked his chest with all four fingers.

"Fat lot of good friends like you are."

.

The second floor of the club was open to the elements, archways acting as windows to the brisk wind of evening, and the bright shine of sunset. The breeze and drinks were welcome, Mercedes, Dorothea and Hilda taking turns sitting with their pitchers, yellow with alcohol and pink without, to protect them just in case.

Hilda found herself distracted throughout the night, watching Claude as he dipped Lorenz, and nearly dropped Dimitri, and joined Dorothea in a samba that she and Annette were soundly better at.

They danced together only twice, the first time early in the evening before the dancers and the night had hit their stride, when there was more laughter and embarrassment in their fun than indulgence. The second time had been later in the evening, when he was flush and tipsy, to a ballad that had them swaying slowly with his hand politely between her shoulders. She'd thought about stepping closer into his space, resting her head on his chest, facing the brunt of his sweat and his cologne, but hesitated — partially because of their working relationship, but mostly because Sylvain and Mercedes had whistled about the way Hubert had held the small of Edelgard's back and she'd stretched back in a smooth, flowing dip.

It was maybe an hour later that Claude found Hilda seated at a table by a south-facing archway, the dim red of the western horizon a memory of the now fallen sun, the deep blue to the east twinkling with a few visible stars over a small lake and parkland.

"You having a good time?" Claude seemed more sober now than earlier, unlike some of their friends, and Hilda smiled softly, glad of his attention.

She nodded and ran her fingers under her eyes. "Just tired. Worked early before practice, and will again tomorrow."

"I'm glad you made it," Claude said sweetly, and Hilda rolled her eyes as she sucked on a straw from a cup that was mostly ice.

"No one would have missed me," she contributed, her gaze darting to where most of their colleagues were gathered, some of their friendships spanning years and others only as long as auditions, but generally they seemed to feel closer to each other than she really felt to them. So far, anyway.

She felt slower at forming these deep friendships that others seemed instinctually born with. She wondered if she'd know any of these people long enough for that to matter.

"I just said I would've," Claude insisted, crossing his arms as he leaned into the table. His hair was wilting around his face, framing thick eyebrows and dark lashes that half-hid his green eyes. He needed to curl them, Hilda thought idly.

She blushed and pushed at the ice in her glass with her straw. "You just owed me a few drinks for improvising with you in your audition."

Claude chuckled and hid his smile in his elbow for a moment. "That was kind of you," he allowed. He looked at her directly, and promised, "But it's not just that."

"No?" she peeped, half teasing, waiting on the joke or the reveal.

"No," he said at a whisper. "Would you want to come over to my place on one of our free nights? I could make you dinner? We could just run lines, or...?"

"Or?"

Claude blushed and they both snickered softly. He shifted back and forth against the table, forcing himself to sit up, running a hand over his chin, clean shaven for his part in their production.

"Or whatever you like."

His smile widened as she considered it, and she wondered if it was because he wasn't facing instinctual rejection or because he could tell that she was interested. When she nodded, his shoulders fell, as if suddenly relaxed. A lot of people had rules about not dating people they worked with, the risk of rejection and the pain of a breakup always had a chance of hurting a production, but she could see the value of taking a few moments of flattery too far. Even if Claude tucked his heart away from something more, even if they only ran lines, she was looking forward to it.

[hetacon]

Prom Queen: Chapter 2

First || Previous || Next

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Word Count: 1,900

Pairings: Endgame Prinxiety, Platonic LAMP, more could be included at a later point

Warning: Swearing, food mentions (Let me know if I missed anything, this one seemed fairly tame!)

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Summary: He missed Roman. High school had been, in the grand scheme of things, largely without his best friend.

(Make sure to read the notes at the end if you want to hear my thoughts on the chapter! As always, feel free to let me know if you want to be added to my taglist for this story or just my art and writing ones in general! Enjoy!)

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High school wasn’t great but it certainly didn’t seem to be terrible either. That’s what Virgil was gathering from the whole experience anyways. It definitely didn’t hold as much of the awkwardness in terms of trying to find himself and who he was as a person like middle school had brought about.

But still, there were still a fair share of complications. Roman’s popularity throughout the years had started to become one of them.

Neither of them had honestly expected it really. Theater put Roman in the spotlight, both literally and figuratively, that was where part of his newfound popularity came from. With that little bit of exposure, people started to take notice of him.

First it had been Roman running late to English a few times when they started out freshman year.

That expanded to Roman joining some clubs Virgil was content to stay out of for a couple days in the week.

More interaction with more people meant Roman got to talking with some interesting people from student council through his Model UN club meetings, including a familiar face from theater serving as their stage manager in the upcoming fall production.

“Hey guys, there’s someone I’d like you to meet!” Roman said excitedly as he dragged along a guy that looked around their grade, firm hands on his shoulders. Roman beamed as Virgil and Patton looked up from Virgil’s phone. “This is Logan!”

Patton smiled at Logan and held out a hand. “Patton Hart, it’s nice to meet you Logan!”

At the sight of Patton’s hand reached out to him, Virgil noticed Logan visibly relax, reaching out to shake Patton’s.

“Hello Patton,” Logan merely said with a nod.

“And of course, Logan, I’ve told you about my best friend Virgil,” Roman’s voice cut through, Virgil’s gaze flickering over to the impossibly widening grin on Roman’s face at that little detail.

Logan nodded once more. “Ah yes, Roman talks about you often.”

“Nothing but bad things I assume?” Virgil snorted, smirking at Roman’s mock gasp of offense.

“No, he speaks rather highly of you, Virgil. Oftentimes it gets in the way of things such as letting him running lines and letting me work on my own work for his play,” Logan commented, giving Roman a pointed look towards the latter half of his statement.

“A boy can’t talk about his best friend? Harsh, Specs!”

Patton laughed at the two of them bickering. “So how’d you and Logan meet?”

“Model UN, he’s done a much better job than I have! He’s trying to show me the ropes but he’s definitely much smarter than me at it!” Roman said with a chuckle, sitting down with Logan doing so as well.

“He says that but he isn’t doing too poorly, honestly Roman,” Logan sighed.

“Yeah yeah, but not as good as you. Now hush and let me tell them my story!”

Roman considered joining student council by the end of freshman year but decided theater was already a large commitment.

Sophomore year rolled around before Virgil knew it and Roman was cast as the lead role for the fall production as well as getting on the sophomore homecoming court.

Homecoming carnival was fairly nice as Roman practically dragged him and Logan along. Virgil didn’t have half a bad time though he admittedly just stayed by Patton who was working at one of his club booths. Roman was surrounded by too many people at one point for Virgil to really want to follow him anyways.

Spring semester of sophomore year was pretty uneventful aside from Roman somehow getting even more popular. Virgil could barely get a word of conversation in with him after their school’s spring production of Beauty and the Beast, despite him going to nearly every night of the show’s run. Patton was good company during one of the nights though and the two went out for milkshakes afterwards.

“Virgil! Gosh, I really don’t need you seeing me cry,” Roman laughed as he scooped Virgil up in a tight hug before pulling away. “You didn’t have to come for closing night!”

“I wanted to, you know?” Virgil asked. “Also holy shit are you hot.”

“Oh trust me, I know! My sheer beauty is truly a thing to behold!” Roman teased, only for Virgil to shove him with a snort.

“Congratulations Roman, you did a great job!” one of their classmates said in passing.

“Thank you Cissy!” Roman called after her with a proud grin on his face.

“No, you know what I mean, you must be dying under the lights,” Virgil chuckled.

“Oh, that-!”

“Roman, you did amazing, look at you!” another person said, coming over to give Roman a hug.

“Thank you, and thank you for coming!” Roman replied.

“How could I not? You did great!” the woman said. “Hey, have you seen Chloe around? I’ve been trying to find the poor girl for ages, she might’ve been swamped.”

“I think she might’ve gone to go change, I think she’ll be out soon!”

Virgil zoned out a little as Roman continued to make conversation for a little longer.

“Ro, you down for going to get ice cream after you free yourself from your wire prison?” Virgil asked once he thought Roman’s attention was finally back on him but a hand was clapped on to Roman’s back.

“Hey dude, awesome job, how’d your voice hold up?” one of the other actors, Justin if Virgil remembered correctly, asked.

“My throat is honestly totally killing me, I can’t wait to drink my weight in tea when I get home,” Roman laughed, wincing for emphasis.

“I feel you, I think I’m going to head home after I change,” Justin said, running a hand through his hair and fixing his glasses. “You planning on going out with the rest of the cast afterwards?”

“Nah, Virgil and I are going to get ice cream and then I am going to sleep like there’s no tomorrow!”

“Fair, fair, I’ll see you on Monday!”

By the time that Roman was finally free, a dozen people had asked Roman for picture and Virgil, with a quick text, told him that his mom had to pick him up unexpectedly.

Logan started to hang out with Virgil and Patton during lunch by the time junior year came by, only skipping a portion of Wednesdays in order to go to student council meetings.

By this point in their time in high school, lots of changes happened but some things still stayed pretty consistent. Roman decided against auditioning for the fall play but still seemed to remain as busy as ever with the theater competitions he was now taking part in, fitting in clubs in seemingly any place possible. Logan had become the junior year president for student council, still taking part in Model UN and a few AP classes definitely keeping him busy. Patton had been the one to change the least aside from Virgil himself. Virgil was happy that both he and Patton were both taking AP studio art. Apart from that, the two of them just focused on trying to stay sane.

Prom came up during their junior year as a topic of discussion (seeing as only the juniors and seniors could go on their own) and the four of them decided to go together as a group. It was a disaster in Virgil’s opinion and he had to leave early when Roman was asked for a dance by one of the popular girls in their grade. He felt sick to think about it.

Virgil stared up at the ceiling for a while the night of prom after he’d gotten back home, trying to figure out what was even happening at this point. A girl had asked for a dance, Roman accepted.

Except suddenly, Virgil remembered just how many times Roman had arrived late to lunch, how many times he’d sat down only to realize he’d had club meetings, how many times Roman would be preoccupied with rehearsals and homework and conversations in the halls before English. The study sessions at Roman’s house had become minimal and Virgil’s interactions with Roman’s brother Remus were more frequent than the interactions with Roman himself.

He missed Roman. High school had been, in the grand scheme of things, largely without his best friend. It still didn’t feel right, like he was missing something with the realization he’d come to.

As soon as he thought of Roman asking him to dance and kissing him though, he knew.

Virgil cried for a while that night.

Suddenly after prom, Roman dropped most of his clubs.

“Why’d you stop going?” Patton asked during their current conversation, taking out his lunch. He offered Virgil a cookie who took it reluctantly.

“Eh, I don’t know, I’ve just been so busy you know? Wanted to see if it helped,” Roman offered as explanation, shrugging. “Oh hey Logan, did you finish studying for our APUSH test today?” he added as the aforementioned took a seat at the table, finished with his student council meeting.

Logan nodded and wordlessly handed his notes to Roman with a roll of his eyes. “I knew you were going to ask.”

“You know me well Specs! I swear, he’s really going nuts with AP test prep, huh?” Roman asked, flipping through the neatly written notes.

“Teachers tend to overprepare us for AP tests, I promise it’s worth it.”

Patton sighed and turned to Virgil, letting the other two talk over their test next period. “Hey Virge, do you want to come over to my house today? I got some new paints I wanted to try out but I’ve been waiting for you to come over,” Patton tried, smiling hopefully at him.

He really didn’t have anything better to do that afternoon so he nodded. “Yeah, sure, do you want me to bring anything?”

Patton shook his head. “Nope, just yourself!”

Virgil nodded.

Summer came around and Virgil started to spend less time with Roman. His family had dragged him on more than one trip so luckily he had a good excuse. Roman certainly didn’t seem very available either so it wasn’t exactly hard for their schedules to conflict.

With a week until senior year started, Virgil went to help Patton walk his dog.

“Hey Pat..?”

“Hm?” Patton asked, looking to him with a smile.

“What would you think if I wanted to... I dunno, change my style I guess?” Virgil asked, tugging at the sleeves of his sweater.

“Hmm... Well, what are you thinking about? Like, just a little change? Starting from scratch?” was Patton’s response. “Not for any reason, I’m still supportive no matter what you want to do!”

Virgil thought on it as they continued walking. “I don’t really know yet, I just know I want to change it I guess?”

Patton nodded. “Well I say do it! You can always change it back!”

With that, they moved on to other subjects. Patton was excited about school while Virgil ruminated on Patton’s questions.

The day before senior year started, Virgil knew what he was planning on, staring at the hair dye in his hands.

______________________________

Hey hey hey, we are finally going to be getting into the actual conflict! Gosh, I’ve been waiting for the chance to do so, the next chapter will definitely be interesting!

I will say I had a bit of trouble with this one. The last chapter starts off with the first day of freshman year but I just felt it was a good way to set up the dynamic. I wanted the story to be set in either junior or senior year though mainly due to the maturity level at that point. It feels more comfortable and lets me have more room with what’s to come! I tried to get there without just saying “Look, here’s a time skip, wow!” I really hope I did it well, it feels a little clunky!

I hope you guys liked this chapter and as always, feel free to chat with me in the comments! I love hearing your guys’ opinions!

______________________________

Taglist: @artissijules, @virgils-paranoia, @its-the-cat-queen, @myyoutubecorner, @marshmallow-the-panda, @anotheregofanficblog, @tssidesfamily, @shapa-likes-art, @isabelle-stars, @falsemood, @prinxiety-shipper101, @katlikethesword

[serenityseventeen]

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Thirteenth Letter

----------------

To: Lee Chan

From: Y/N

How are you, Chan?

I feel like I've seen this kind of storyline before. A summer romance that ends with you ghosting me.

I've been looking for work as I've told you before summer ended. I wonder what you are doing now. Now that the summer dance club where we met is closing, I can't see you anymore. You don't answer my calls either which leaves me to assume that you and I weren't dating seriously.

Gosh, I should have seen the red flags when you and I seemed to progress too fast into our relationship; but I just ignored them because you had me flipped out, falling for you head over heels. The way you spoke to me, smiled at me, gazed at me, the way you acted around me, I was convinced that you were just confidently liking me.

To begin this strange love story, should I start from the beginning, Chan?

Well, I graduated from grad school with my degree. I noticed that I was gaining a bit of weight so to try and burn it off, I joined this summer dance club. You were one of the members and immediately, when I spotted you practicing in front of the people, with confidence, your moves swift, I was amazed. I didn't expect that someone like you would fall for me.

Chan, you look like a genuine, passionate dancer. You told me that you've been dancing all your life and from that first impression, I was able to tell that.

When I joined the dancing club, I had not danced in a while. Yet, you taught me with so much care. I didn't ask for your help but you approached me first whenever I was struggling to learn a choreography. You taught me head-on and took the lead.

Your leadership skills are also amazing, Chan.

Before we both knew it, we were learning and practicing for long hours in the summer, sweat trickling down the sides of our heads to the point where our hair was wet. Your hair was wet from sweat a lot of the time but to me, you looked extremely masculine and handsome that way. We practiced so much that it was nighttime by the time both of us decided to call it a day. We were usually the only ones left.

Before we started dating, you would always give me water and wipe my sweat for me. It hadn't even been two weeks of getting to know each other when we had our first kiss in the practice room.

You and I were exhausted and leaning against the wall, sipping water.

“This is fun,” I commented.

I know you probably don't know, but I noticed you staring at my lips. I just didn't want to say it out loud in fear of ruining the nice atmosphere. The air conditioner was blasting cool air and since I was feeling so sticky, I just closed my eyes and let the floating cool air brush over my skin.

I don't know what you were doing but I'll guess that you were staring at my lips; because that's when I felt a pair of soft lips press onto mine. I was flustered at first, having your arm block all my possible exits, leaving me in your enclosed space. Our lips locked for a few seconds before I pulled you in closer, deepening the kiss. I placed my hands on your jaw, caressing you gently as your kisses became more passionate. It just felt like the right thing to do as my heart burned with fluttering butterflies.

Since it was summer, we both had quite a lot of time on our hands, but from time to time, I had to study too. I'm planning to start training in my line of work soon.

Well, we were able to hang out around each other a lot. I, believing you liked me, treated you like my boyfriend. You treated me like your significant other. We were dating. You behaved so sweetly around me, showering me with soft kisses on my cheek, surprise dates. Spending time with you was fun and wild.

When people left the practice room, we would linger with the practice being our excuse, but then I would be sitting down on your thighs, facing you, my arms wrapped around your shoulders and your hands holding my hips. We would be kissing, making out, cuddling.

I enjoyed every second of it. I was falling for you fast, I was falling for you hard.

What about you?

How did you feel about me?

Sometimes, I would find it strange how easily you told me that you liked me, and every time, it sounded genuine. Whenever you're walking me home on a hot summer night, you always tell me that you like or love me before you leave. I would say the same back to you.

I don't think you're a fuckboy or something like that. You seem way too innocent for that. To me, you seemed like a mischievous boy that was also a masculine man.

At the same time though, what we had seemed to be mainly physical.

No, sorry. I shouldn't be thinking of it that way.

You and I spent a lot of time together and with you, I was very happy. I was able to forget about anything hard and just have fun, in the moment, with you. Whether it was me straddling you on the couch, us sleeping together, waking up together, cooking together, I was happy through it all. We had fun and refreshing summer dates at the beach playing in the water, splashing waves at each other before you pull me in and give me a passionate kiss with the golden summer sunset in the back.

But now, I start to realize everything; from the incredibly fast pace of our relationship and the way we found joy in our physical desires. Now, I realize it.

In the end, I barely know who you are, Chan. You never really talked about yourself. You told me a few things, like how you had a younger brother, how you wanted to become an idol, how you dreamed of performing on stage, but during those summer months we spent together and dated, we were still learning about each other. You were learning about me and I was learning about you.

Yet, the way you treated me and made me feel special makes me sure that I do love you. I probably love you more than you love me but, of course, I can never know that.

I can't reach you now and it seems as if your number was fake all along. I don't see you in the places we used to hang out. When I asked the dance club members, it seemed like they knew more than I did about my boyfriend, but every answer was different.

Some told me that you auditioned for a company and got accepted.

Some told me that you were already a trainee.

Some told me that your family was planning to move.

Some told me that you were continuing your life as usual but didn't specify any details.

I don't know what to believe. If you are an idol trainee then, well, good for you. I guess I was just something to fulfill your desires that had been kept inside for a long time. If you got accepted, well, good for you again. I hope you debut since it's always been your dream.

If you're purposely ignoring me, I don't know why you would, but as you can see, I have a few theories. If you didn't love me back, you could have just told me that you wanted a summer fling instead of a summer romance and relationship because then, I would have rejected you firmly.

Were our memories nothing to you?

We never properly broke up either, why is it that you're suddenly ignoring me? Where did you go off to? Are you ghosting me? Why did you suddenly disappear like that? Did you never love me? Was our relationship nothing?

I have so many questions, why won't you answer them?

I'm afraid that the person I loved wasn't the person I loved at all. I hope that you didn't lie to me.

If we ever meet again, what would you say? What would you say to my sincerity? What would you do?

I hope that you can remember these memories just as much as I will. I hate thinking that I was just an escape for you, a goat that you used to fulfill your desires. If you really are who I know, then I won't have any doubts that you would remember everything.

Chan, you seem like a pure guy. You never really lied to me. You would always play around with me, making me feel like a youngster in love. Just looking at your face, I could see the purity and curiosity you have within yourself.

Up until now, I will believe that you gave me all of you. I will continue to believe that you encountered something unfortunate or fortunate and now, we can't meet nor contact each other. I will continue to believe everything positive because I loved you.

I won't wait for you though, Chan.

I remember this one thing you told me, do you remember it too?

Now that I think about it, it seems like you asked that on purpose, perhaps foreshadowing your future disappearance.

We were leaning against a fence, watching the orange and purple ombre sunset and its reflection on the rippling waves of the ocean.

You had your arms warmly wrapped around my waist, your head buried in the crook of my neck, when you asked with a muffled voice, “If you had to wait for someone who was indefinitely coming back, what would you do?”

You kissed my neck softly with your gentle lips, tightening your hands. I felt my heart thump out of my chest.

“Hmm... I don't think I would wait.”

You seemed to be a bit surprised by my answer. I didn't think of this question as anything special then, just pure curiosity.

“Why not?” You asked, planting another kiss on my neck afterward.

“They are leaving and it's indefinite when they would come back. I wouldn't wait for them, when they come back, they just do. I shouldn't worry myself with waiting.”

You nodded gently and then brought your hand to my chin, kissing me again.

I'll do exactly as I said.

I won't wait for you. I loved you and since your comeback is indefinite, I'll also write this. I can't tell you it in person, so I can't get your answer, but I will consider it this way, even if you do appear in my life again.

My last words to you, who I can't reach.

I hope you're doing fine.

I'm breaking up with you.

Yours truly,

Y/N.

-----------------

© serenityseventeen

7/14/21 - 10:19 am

a/n: GoSe today!!! I'm excited, I'll watch the episode when I eat! + I've finished this series, hooray! I'm sure one day, when I'm a better writer, I'll come back and possibly revise this. Thank you to everyone who read this series!

[ygboysygbby]

Secretly

Mino/Song Minho Scenario

Request: Hi!! I hope it’s okay with me requesting this as it’s based on a fanfic I’m writing and just want to see how it would play out and that requests are still open. Could I request a Mino headcanon or Winner headcanon with Mino secretly dating Jiyong’s older sister (just by a year) who’s also a Kpop idol, actress and fashion designer? Thank you.

you know what? the request made me inspired, I’m gonna make this a short story with my own interpretation instead! let’s see how it goes! :D  (note: I made the sister as the reader instead of an OC)

Never once had you regretted starting a career as an actress. While you knew you also had a passion in fashion designing, and even went to college for it, acting was just another level. Experiencing a whole different life through acting, controlling your own emotions, it was a challenge and a fun experience in one package. 

So instead of pursuing the career in fashion world, you decided to audition as an actress. It did not take you a long time to make your debut, because as much as you wanted to deny it, the power your little brother, Kwon Jiyong, has, was a huge impact. But, it was still your very own hardworking self that made you a rising star that you were known as.

After your latest drama hit, you were suddenly in much demand for reality shows, that your entertainment literally had to refuse a few of the offers. One of the show they accepted in particular, was to make you show off singing skills, just because again, you were related to G-Dragon. Hearing this, you hoped so badly that your brother would refuse the offer, with him being all busy, but much to your dismay, he accepted.

It wasn’t like you didn’t like your own brother, he was a very kind and caring person towards you in your whole life, but him in a recording studio? that was a whole different person. You had heard stories from his band members how strict and perfectionist he could be while recording. Once, Daesung had to repeat a part in their song fifteen times, before he decided it was the right one to put into the song. The horror in Daesung’s face when he told the story was still lingering in your head.

Jiyong being the extra guy he was, he decided it would be great to add a surprise element to the song, with a surprise feature from another YG artist. At that time, he was thinking of another male rapper. And also at that time, Mino from Winner was available.

That brought you to the current situation. You standing up in front of the mic, for what you could recall, almost an hour in time, and your brother on the other side of the room, frowning. 

“Could you maybe, sing it again but this time, lower your voice a little bit?”

You wanted so badly to protest and start a fight with your sibling, but your eyes went to the man sitting next to him. Song Minho, you didn't know the guy that well. Heck, the only conversation you had had with him prior, was when you accidentally met him at an award show. Both of you only shook hands and said names, that was all. You couldn’t embarrass yourself in front of him by lashing out at your brother. Even though you were so hungry because your stupid self forgot to eat breakfast...

“You know I’m not a singer, right?” You tried to complain in a calm voice.

“I know, that’s why we have to have a good pre-recorded for you when we are on stage later.” 

Sigh. That clearly did not work. What did you even expect? For the almighty G-Dragon to go easy on you just because you were his sister??? Pfffft.

“You~ the breath of fresh air, the—” 

“Stop, stop.” Jiyong shook his head and began to instruct you the tone that he wanted. “The breath of fresh! You need to take the ‘fresh’ part to—”

“Ji,” You called, sounding a little bit like pleading.

“Hmm?” 

*GROWL*

“Did you forget to eat breakfast again?”

If the ground could swallow people, you would be begging it to consume you whole. The sound of your stomach rumbling, in full speakers, while someone you barely know was also present inside the room. Your first initial move was to look at Mino’s reaction. He was looking away, but you could see his cheeks lifted, you know he had at least a grin on his face. He was clearly trying his best not to burst out laughing. Great, just great!

“Let’s just continue this tomorrow, I have to meet up with some management from Nike in a bit anyway.” GD said. “Minho-ssi, can you help me a little bit with the auto tune on verse one?”

“Ah, if you’d let me...” Mino replied, in an unsure tone. “Would that be okay?”

“Yeah, I trust you, I know what you can do.” Jiyong smirked. “And Y/N, make sure to eat, I don’t want you to get sick.” He said as he packed his stuff.

“Sure...” You said, still standing up frozen in front of the booth door. “Can I eat with you?” 

“No, cause I’m gonna go right away, the place is quite far... Just eat downstairs, they serve good food, you know?” He smiled at you. “Bye!”

“Bye...” You sighed.

As Jiyong left, you were left feeling terribly awkward. Should you just leave? Should you say something? Was the sound of your empty stomach that bad? UGHHH!!!

When your eyes met, Mino immediately smiled at you, his eyes almost closed, he looked so cute. Wait, what?

“Y/N-ssi, have you tried eating in our cafeteria before?” He asked politely. 

“Uh, actually I haven't...” 

“If you don’t mind, I’m also a little bit hungry.” He smiled. “Do you want to eat together?”

“O-Of course!” You smiled awkwardly. 

Here you thought you were great at controlling your emotions with your whole acting experience, one smile from Song Minho, now you were stuttering.

And that was how it began. A smile, a friendship, then feelings that blossomed through the way. 

The show went amazingly well. It helped you with more exposure to your public, which of course meant, more offers, and in return, Jiyong and Mino got some royalties. Even though you had to stand through your brother’s perfectionism for quite some time, you also got to spend your lunch time afterwards with Mino, secretly. 

That wasn’t the only thing that you both ended up doing secretly behind your brother’s back. You exchanged numbers and began texting with each other. You began to frequently visit YG, bringing your brother food and stuff, in camouflage to secretly meet someone. 

After almost a year of doing many things secretly, both of you then began dating, yet again, secretly. Not only because both of you being in eyes of public and all, but there was one thing a little less if not same, scarier than public’s opinion... your brother.

There actually was not really a concrete reason for both of you to fear him acknowledging the relationship. Jiyong had never once scold you for dating despite of you being a public figure, nor had he once said that he disliked Mino. But the thought of him knowing that you, his older sister, dating his colleague who is younger than him, was just a little bit overwhelming. 

Mino on the other hand was scared as Jiyong was someone he looked up to and respect. He didn’t want him to think that some younger and incompetent dude was messing around with his sister. He was afraid that if Jiyong were to ask him what could he offer to his sister, he could not answer. Compared to the well known G-Dragon, Mino felt like a grain of dust.

**

Both of you were happily cuddling on your couch, watching a movie together. You were comfortably resting your head on Mino’s shoulder, while his fingers played with your hair softly. It was a very chill and relaxing time for both of you, before the sound of your phone ringing suddenly came interrupting.

“It’s my brother, he’s outside...” You said, eyes widened in shock.

“WHAT?!” Mino jerked up. “Should I hide???”

“In my bedroom, quick!” 

You opened your front door, hoping Jiyong wouldn’t notice the nervousness in your voice. “Ji! Why didn’t you tell me first before coming?”

“What? I’m always like this what do you mean?” He lifted one of his eyebrows, looking at you. “Oh, you were watching Mulan?” He asked as walked and saw your TV.

“Y-Yeah!”

“Is it good?” He said as he sat down on the sofa, taking one of the popcorn on the table. 

“Nah, it was shit!” You laughed. “It doesn’t matter though, I don’t mind watching bad movies as long as I have good company...” You widened your eyes as you realized what you had said.

“You had company?”

“No! I mean, I always say that to you! Unlucky me, just when I decided to watch alone the movie turns out to be awful, huh?” You laughed nervously. 

“Hmm.” Your brother crossed his legs, he seemed unsure with your answer.

“Why are you here anyway? My break time is very precious, you know? I’d love to spend it wisely.” 

“Oh, yeah that.” Jiyong put his index finger up as he remembered something and opened his backpack. “You remembered my friend who is a model? The guy we met two weeks ago?”

“Ahn Seojun?”

“Yeah, him.” He said as he took out a box of chocolate with a black ribbon on top of it. “He was overseas and he recalled you saying that you like this chocolate.”

“Uh... Tell him I said thanks, I guess?” You said, eyeing your brother weirdly. “That was nice of him, in fact, way too nice?”

“Maybe he likes you.” Jiyong casually shrugs.

“Yeah... he’s nice and all, but I’m not interested.” You chuckled.

“You are single anyway, why not?” 

“Uh, I’m still not interested...”

“Or are you not?” Jiyong looked at you sternly. 

“What?”

“Come to think of it, you used to talk about so many crushes to me... Ugh, you even used to have a crush on TOP hyung!” He laughed.

“Well, maybe I grew up! Besides, crushes are just crushes, I never had any deep feelings towards them! Unless you think I could develop feelings towards Chris Evans???” 

“You must be in love now...” He broke into an evil grin. “Come on, who’s the guy?”

“Okay, you’re not making any sense here, if that’s all, then you should go home. I want to continue spend my break without my brother pestering about my love life.”

“Alright, alright! Geez! No need to get so defensive...” He rolled his eyes. “So, you sure you are single?”

You cleared you throat. “Uh uh.”

“Then, if Seojun asked for your number, should I give it?”

“What?! I thought we are over this???”

“Yah, Mino-ssi!!! Come on out!” Jiyong suddenly yelled out with a huge grin still plastered on his face.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“If you don’t show yourself now, I’m going to tell the producers to postpone your solo album!” He said, almost singing. He definitely was enjoying this way too much. 

A few seconds later, you heard your bedroom door opening and closing very quickly. Mino stood in front of your bedroom for a while before walking up towards both of you. His eyes was looking down to his feet the entire time.

“There you go!” Jiyong clapped. “So, tell me again, my beautiful sister, you sure you are single?”

“Ji, if you’re going to scold us, then please scold me as I—”

“Whoa! Who said I’m gonna what?! I’m just mad you never told me!”

“Wait, so you’re okay with this?” You said, pointing back and forth to both yourself and your boyfriend. 

“Of course I am! Who am I to tell you what to do anyway?” He folded his arms. “Besides, this guy...”

“Y-Ye?” Mino jerked his head up, almost like he was in military. 

“He’s a good guy, as far as I know.” He smiled and patted Mino’s shoulder. “Calm down, your solo album is safe!”

“Ah... yeah, thank you very much, hyung-nim...” Mino bowed.

“Yah, yah, put your head up! Geez, you do know you’re dating my older sister. right? Technically, you’re in higher position than me now.” He laughed. 

“I promise I’ll never hurt her!” Mino suddenly said out loud. 

“Shut up...” You nudged your boyfriend, blushing.

“Alright, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone now.” Jiyong said, looking very amused. “Next time, if you’re planning on hiding your boyfriend, make sure his brand new released adidas shoes ain’t in your shoe rack first.”

“Dammit!” You cursed.

“Oh come on, I’ve known since you started visiting me so frequently in YG! This is just a lucky coincidence.” He said as he grabbed his bag and walked towards the front door. “I’ll see both of ya later!”

“Go away! Stop interrupting me!” You stuck your tongue out playfully. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He laughed. “Mino-ssi,” Jiyong stopped and nodded at him before finally closing the door behind.

Mino nodded back, but you could tell he was really nervous as little beads of sweat was visible under his bangs.

“Phew!” You shouted as you threw yourself on the couch. “That went well, huh?”

“Y-Yeah...” Mino said, sitting down next to you.

“See? You have nothing to worry about!” You took his left hand, still laying down beside him.

“Still, who am I compared to your brother?”

“Mino,” You said as you repositioned yourself to rest your head on his lap. “I don’t care about neither your money or fame, you’re you. You’re the best person I’ve ever met in my entire life, and you dare ask who you are?”

“Okay, that was cheesy, I totally wasn’t prepared for that...” The guy laughed but his cheeks were reddened. 

“Shut up! Said the guy who was practically yelling to my brother, saying he’d never hurt me, like he was in Japanese drama or something.” You giggled.

“Hey, missy, how about you shut up before I kiss you.” Mino grinned, now face only inches away from you.

“In that case, I would never shut my mouth then...” You smiled as you close the gap in between.

yayyy!!! I hope I did the author justice by this! :D sorry I didn’t make the reader as an idol as well, I feel like her not being an idol helped the plot nicely hehe 😅

the author that requested this is @genuinestyles​ btw! check em out! 💖

[vindicatedvirgil]

only fools rush in / part one: two parties and a lot of crushes

this first part is kind of all over the place. basically i just wanted to establish the dynamics going on here and i figured the best way to do so would be through group hang outs and stuff like that. it feels like i cover a lot here, but future installments will be more focused on one couple or group! sorry for the kind of wackiness and yeah.

i don’t think that there’s anything that i need to tag for this, but this part includes: QPP loceit, Remus making jokes, Roman crushing hard, Emile and Remy very briefly.

[masterlist]

if you want to be tagged when i update, please send me an ask/reply/reblog and i’ll be sure to add you for the next part! 

read to the end for the title and a small teaser for part two!

next update will be on: Sunday, July 19.

---

“Wait, you have a twin?” Patton looked at Roman in deep disbelief. “Why didn’t you get an apartment with him?” Roman just shrugged, unloading one of his boxes, hanging up his shirts. “Lo, did you know about this?”

“Yes. He’s one of Janus’ new roommates,” the man in the tie said, leaning against the wall, eyes focused on the phone in his hand as he typed quickly. Patton’s jaw dropped, and he crossed his arms, frowning. 

“Yeah, he’s moving in with Virgil Cloud, too,” Roman said, eyes focused forward, but he couldn’t hide the light dusting of pink that appeared on his cheeks. Virgil was the techie for the last school production, and Roman couldn’t help but fall for the embodiment of a dark and stormy night, with his black nail polish and purple fringe and–

“Earth to Roman,” Patton was waving a hand in front of his face. Roman blinked, then smiled awkwardly at his pastel-clad roommate. “You should invite them all to a party tonight! Logan, will you tell Jan to bring his roommates?”

“I- we were gonna…” Logan sighed, then nodded, head hanging in front of him, “I guess so.” He didn’t have the heart to tell his roommates that he and his partner had other plans for the evening, so he texted Janus quickly about the change.

Roman and Patton want you to bring your roommates over for a party tonight. We can leave early, though. -Logan

A party could be fun, Lo. Besides, I think that Virgil has a crush on Roman. ~Janus

I believe that it’s mutual. I don’t really want to stick my nose into their business, though. -Logan

-

Logan opened the door to the apartment to see Janus, Remus, and Virgil standing there. Remus was holding a twelve-pack of beer, Janus had a bottle of wine, and Virgil kept his eyes down on the floor, not acknowledging anything as the three stepped into the apartment. Logan kept the door open since it was already warm in the apartment with the three of them; the end of summer was always unbearably hot in their town. Roman immediately gravitated towards Virgil as the others went over to the kitchen counter to open their drinks.

“Hi Virgil,” Roman said, smiling brightly. “I don’t know if you remember me–”

“Of course I do,” Virgil muttered, leaning against a wall awkwardly. “You were the lead in the play last term.” Roman stammered over his words, his cheeks once again dusted with pink.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, that…” he chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “You uh, did a really great job as one of the tech guys. It was… awesome.”

“Thanks.” Virgil stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets, and he still hadn’t looked up at Roman.

“Can I uh… get you a drink or something? Or…” Roman’s words trailed off, he wished that Virgil would just look up at him and meet his eyes and then maybe they’d fall in love–

“Hey there!” Emile stepped in through the open front door, carrying a plate full of baked goods. “I just wanted to welcome you… oh, looks like somebody’s having a party!” Roman grumbled then went up to the man in the sweater, wondering how he could cope in the heat. “Hi there! I’m Emile Picani, I live downstairs!” “Nice to meet you. I’m Roman, and my roommates Patton and Logan are… somewhere,” he said, sticking his hand out. Emile giggled and brought the tall man in for a hug. “Oh, uh…”

“Sorry, I’m a bit of a hugger!” Emile laughed, setting the cookies down on a table. “You all go to the university? I’m working on my psychology doctorate there.” At this, Virgil perked up and came over, and Emile held his arms out for a hug.

“Please don’t,” Virgil muttered, and Emile backed up a little, giving a toothy smile. “Uh… you study psychology? I’m majoring in that…” He said shyly, and Emile pulled him by his wrist to sit down on one of the couches.

“Okay, I’m your mentor now! Let’s chat,” The two went to go sit down on the couch, and Roman frowned. Of course Virgil would be interested in chatting with someone in his field of study, but… he really wanted to talk to Virgil, maybe ask him on a date. He stuffed one of the cookies that Emile made into his mouth and groaned at how delicious they were. Of course he could bake. He’d probably be able to steal Virgil away, too.

Remus was watching this from his spot against one of the walls, and noticed his twin’s distraught demeanor. He thought about saying something, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Patton smiling brightly at something that Janus said, his sweater sleeves pushed up to his elbows, exposing colorful floral tattoos on his forearms, and that was it: Remus was smitten. He didn’t hesitate to approach the trio talking at the kitchen counter, Janus and Logan sharing a bar stool, Patton resting his chin on his hands as he listened to the pair recall how they decided to become partners over the summer break. Remus settled into a chair next to Patton, and silence fell over the table.

“I don’t believe we’ve met, cutie pie,” Remus said, raising an eyebrow at the small man. Janus and Logan exchanged a look and got up to go chat with Roman, and Patton turned his attention to focus directly on Remus.

“You must be Remus!” Patton exclaimed suddenly, eyes bright as his smile beamed at the curly-haired man, and Remus suddenly wished that he was wearing sunglasses. “I can’t believe I didn’t know that Ro had a twin!”

“Ah, you must be Patton,” Remus said, realizing that this was the roommate he didn’t know. Patton nodded excitedly. Remus stretched his hand out and grazed his fingers against the floral tattoos, and Patton shivered. “These are beautiful, though not as gorgeous as you, flower.”

“T-thank you,” Patton said, his face bright red at the fact that he was complimented and given a nickname. “Do you have tattoos?” Remus nodded and rolled up one of his jacket sleeves, revealing a morning star.

“I minor in medieval history. Weaponry is so fascinating,” he mused, and Patton nodded, brushing his short fingers over the tattoo. “I have a few more, but they’re in… unique places… Maybe I can show you someday, flower.”

“O-oh, uhm…” Patton stammered over his words, the blush spreading down to his neck and to his ears. “M-maybe…” Remus smirked, leaning closer to the small man.

“If I’m making you uncomfortable, please tell me,” He whispered, and Patton shook his head quickly, which made Remus smile. Patton wasn’t exactly Remus’ usual type; soft boys never paid much attention to those with piercings and a menacing glare, but Remus quickly realized that Patton wasn’t like the others.

“Y-You’re not…” Patton’s face was so red and warm that he felt like he could explode. No one like Remus had ever paid him this much attention. He was always taunted by jocks and punks because of his softness, but Remus? The dark makeup, the piercings, the tattoos, and the leather jacket, it all made him feel… dangerous. And Patton secretly loved danger.

Roman was leaning against the wall, watching as everyone else had someone to talk to. His twin was hitting it off with Patton, Janus and Logan were sitting on one of the couches, looking at something on Logan’s phone, and Emile and Virgil were on another couch, talking about psychology. He had never felt left out from any situation in his life before, but here he was, alone in a room full of people.

He couldn’t help but focus on Virgil, who had lit up as he talked about things that Roman knew nothing about. Roman was, of course, happy that Virgil was smiling, but he wished he was the one making the very tall man smile. Emile seemed nice enough, but… something about him irked Roman to no end.

“Oh, hang on,” Emile’s phone was ringing, the tune to a cartoon that Roman vaguely remembered blasting out loudly. He answered the phone, and Roman listened carefully. “Oh, sorry baby! I’m upstairs welcoming our new neighbors. I’ll be right there. Okay, bye.” He hung up and glanced around. “Sorry, that was my boyfriend Remy, I have to go!” He gave a hug to Virgil who waved goodbye awkwardly, then went around hugging everyone, and then left the apartment, closing the front door behind him. Virgil looked like he was going to melt into the couch, and Roman took this as his moment. He sat down next to the tall man and gave him a warm smile.

“So, uh, what do you think the production will be for this term?” Roman asked, and Virgil shrugged. “I’m hoping for a musical, but I’m not much of a dancer…”

“I kind of want something that allows me to experiment with fog on the stage, you know?” Virgil said, glancing down. “I’m not brave enough to audition for any roles on the stage, but I really like working behind the scenes…” Roman frowned, watching Virgil carefully.

“Well, when they announce the production and if there’s a role that interests you, I could help you… practice, maybe? To build up your confidence,” he suggested, but Virgil just shook his head. “I used to get stage fright really bad. But… if it’s something you love doing… then it’s worth all of that anxiety, right?”

“Is it?” Virgil’s voice was shaky. “In one of my school plays as a kid I fell on my face in front of everybody during my solo. Afterwards, I found out that someone purposely spilled water where they knew I’d be walking.” He twisted his fingers together, and Roman frowned. “Ever since, I haven’t wanted to be on stage in front of others.”

“No one would do that here,” Roman said reassuringly. “If they did, I’d beat them up until they fell on the ground, too,” his face was firm, resolved, and it made Virgil laugh a little. “I think… you should try. I’d love to perform with you.”

“Yeah… maybe,” Virgil looked down at him finally, and Roman thought he would melt into a puddle on the floor. “Thanks, Roman.”

-

“Remus is so cool, you know? And he’s so sweet,” Patton was blabbering. It was a few weeks after the party, and the three roommates were playing Mario Kart in the living room. In the time since that first party, the semester had started and they were all buried in school work, and had only seen the other three in passing or going out to dinner as a group. “N-not that you’re not cool, Roman, it’s just… he’s on a different level!”

“Yeah, a dangerous level,” Roman muttered so that Patton couldn’t hear, but Logan did, and he sighed. Roman didn’t want to reveal his fraught relationship with his brother to Patton, but he also wanted to protect the soft, small man. But… Patton was so enthralled, and Roman had never seen him that way. He seemed happier since meeting Remus, and had a confidence that didn’t exist in him before. But Roman definitely had a surge of concern for the other man.

“Do you think we should invite them all over today?” Patton suggested as he finally rolled over the finish line, in second to last place. Logan had gotten first, of course, and Roman a close second. This was the usual for their games. 

“I actually have plans with Janus–” Logan started, but then his phone rang. He answered it. “Hello? Oh, hi Janus… what? But we were…” he sighed, then covered the receiver while he looked at the two others. “Remus wants to invite us all to their place for a movie night or something.”

“Yes!!” Patton exclaimed happily. “Oh, I should figure out what to wear. What time, Lo?” He asked, his excitement bubbling over. It was contagious. Roman could practically see the cogs in Patton’s mind moving as he thought about what to wear and how to do his makeup.

“Eight, apparently,” Logan responded, his lips pulled into a taut line. He brought the receiver back towards his mouth. “I guess we will be there. Yeah, see you later. Bye.” He hung up, a frown on his face. Roman wondered if he should dress nice, too, since he’d be seeing Virgil.

“Dibs on the first shower!” Roman exclaimed, dropping his controller and running off to the bathroom. Three guys and one bathroom wasn’t ideal, but it was what they had to deal with.

By the time all three of them had gotten ready, it was almost 7:30. Roman went with his usual attire, as opposed to Patton, who went a little overboard (probably to try and impress Remus): he was wearing a pale green sweater and some shorts, knee-high socks, and his converse, his makeup bright and colorful, the emphasis on his lips and eyes. Logan was wearing his usual attire as well, but had slipped into a coat since they’d be walking to the other building. It was only a few blocks away, but things always got sidetracked when Roman and Patton were involved.

Once Patton slung his messenger bag over his shoulder, the three set out to the others’ apartment. On their way down, they passed Emile, who was walking into the building with another man, their fingers intertwined.

“Hey kiddos!” Emile said cheerfully, waving his free hand at them. “Remy, these are the new neighbors I told you about!” The man called Remy raised his eyebrows then nodded in greeting.

“Hey babes,” he said. 

“Where are you all going together?” Emile asked, and Roman thought it was a bit nosy to ask of them, but he said nothing.

“Oh, we’re going to Roman’s twin brother’s apartment–”

“Yes, and we really should get going now. Goodbye Emile, nice to meet you Remy,” Roman began to nudge Patton along the sidewalk, and Logan shot the couple an apologetic glance. 

-

“Ugh, this movie is booooooring!” Remus yelled, startling the others. He had thrown his arms up in frustration. Logan and Janus were on the couch, trying to wait for the right moment to leave since they had their own plans. Remus, Roman, and Patton were on the floor or on cushions, eating the pizza they’d ordered, and Virgil was on the lounge chair, just observing.

“You’re the one who suggested a movie, idiot,” Virgil muttered, crossing his arms. Remus frowned, then finished off his bottle of beer. He made a soft hmmm noise, then began speaking again.

“This empty bottle gives me an idea. Spin the bottle, anyone? Or perhaps… truth or dare with spin the bottle?” He suggested, eyebrows wiggling. Patton’s face turned bright red, and some of the others all mumbled their disagreement.

“Isn’t that game for high schoolers, Re?” Roman asked, rolling his eyes. He glanced at Virgil, though, and wondered what it would be like to kiss him tonight. Not that he’d ever do that, Virgil hadn’t shown any interest in him, but…

“Sounds like fun,” Janus said, smirking from his spot next to Logan, who pouted. Janus noticed this and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Oh, come now, Lolo, just a round or two and then we can go, okay? You know how much I love truth or dare.” Logan sighed, then nodded.

“Fine, a few rounds.”

The group moved the coffee table out of the way and sat in a circle, the empty beer bottle laying in the middle of all of them. “Alright, rule time,” Remus started. “The spinner asks the person it lands on for truth or dare, and then must ask them. The person who last did the thing spins it next. Capiche?” Roman shrugged and then pat Remus on the shoulder.

“You spin first, bro,” he said, settling in as he sat cross-legged on the floor. Remus shrugged and leaned forward, spinning the bottle. It pointed towards Logan, who sighed. Remus smirked, crossing his arms, deep in thought.

“Truth or dare?” Remus asked finally, meeting Logan’s eyes. It was silent for a few moments as Logan pondered his options. Janus leaned over and whispered something in Logan’s ear, and his partner nodded.

“Truth,” Logan said confidently, and Remus raised an eyebrow. 

“Would you wear your best friend’s used underwear if you went camping and ran out?” Remus asked, and Patton giggled, covering his mouth to prevent spit from flying everywhere.

“Uh…” Logan glanced at Janus, who was trying to hide his laughter at the audacity of the question. “Yeah, I would? I’ve worn Janus’ underwear before–”

“Whoah, whoah, too much info, stop,” Virgil waved his hands, groaning. Patton pouted a little, frowning at Logan and Janus.

“I thought I was your best friend, Lo?” He asked, and Logan hit his forehead with his hand. 

“You- Pat, ugh,” Logan was exasperated, and he glanced at Patton carefully. “You’re both my best friends, okay?” Patton seemed pleased with this answer, a smile crossing his features again. Logan leaned forward to spin the bottle, and it landed on Remus. “Uh…”

“I mean, if it’s just you two who get to play, that’s fine,” Virgil commented, leaning his back on the lounge chair behind him.

“Maybe if it lands on Logan again, though, you respin?” Patton suggested, and everyone else nodded in agreement. Remus shrugged, and then nodded to Logan.

“Dare me, Lodaddy,” he cackled, and Janus rolled his eyes, but still slid his hand over to rest on Logan’s thigh, a protective glare directed at Remus.

“I dare you to get an A in one of your courses this semester,” Logan smirked, adjusting his glasses. A few of the others grumbled about how that wasn’t fair, but Remus nodded in acceptance and held out his hand to shake Logan’s.

“Dealio!” He spun the bottle again and it landed on Roman. “Alright, twinny twin, truth or dare?” He waggled his eyebrows at his twin.

“I know better than for you to ask me a truth. So, dare,” Roman said, confident with his decision. An evil look crossed Remus’ eyes only briefly as he glanced between Roman and Virgil.

“Kiss the back of Virgil’s knee,” he said simply, and Roman nearly choked on his own saliva. Virgil buried his face in his hands, grumbling a little. Patton started to defend the two.

“Now, Virgil, you don’t have to–”

“Yes I do, it’s a fucking dare,” Virgil mumbled, standing up. He rolled one of his pant legs up and turned around so the back of his leg was facing Roman, whose face was bright red and who felt like his breath was being stolen from him. “Just make it quick, Princey.” Roman turned more red at the nickname, which probably stemmed from his role in the production from the previous semester. He scooted over to Virgil and pressed his lips to the bend between Virgil’s thigh and calf, and then scooted back, saying nothing. The tall man rolled his pant leg back down and sat down, explicitly not looking at Roman. His pale face was lightly pink.

After a few awkward beats, Roman leaned forward and spun the battle. It landed on Patton, who looked to be in deep thought. “Truth or dare, Pat?”

“Hmmm. I think truth is safer,” Patton admitted, and Roman thought a little. He hoped that his plan would work, but was concerned over what could come from a question like this. He really did want happiness for Patton, even if his brother was involved.

“What are three things you first noticed when you met your crush, if you have one?” Roman asked, and Patton glanced down at his fingers, twisting them together, his face dusted with a pale blush. Remus perked up a little, listening carefully to the answer the small man gave.

“U-um… well… I noticed that he has gray in his hair, that he has a lot of piercings, and that he has a cute smile,” Patton said this so quietly that everyone had to lean in to hear it. Patton’s face was bright red by the time he finished listing off the attributes, and everyone’s eyes trailed over to Remus, who was smirking. Patton quietly excused himself and practically ran to the restroom, grabbing his bag along the way, leaving the rest of the group in an awkward silence.

“Fuck, that’s on me,” Roman said, standing up. “I’ll go… check on him,” he said, and he followed Patton to the bathroom, knocking on the door once. “Pat, it’s me Roman, are you okay?”

“Why did you ask me that?” Patton asked from the other side of the door. It sounded like he was crying, since he was sniffling a little bit. “You know I like him, but I wasn’t ready to say anything, Ro.”

“I’m sorry, Patton, I just… I saw that you liked him and figured a little nudge could help…” Roman explained, then sighed. Maybe he had overstepped a little. “Do you wanna go home?”

“Roman,” a voice came from behind him. It was Remus. “Is he okay?” Concern was etched on his face, and he had crossed his arms. Roman was surprised to see this much care coming from his twin.

“Is that Remus? Oh god, hang on,” Patton sounded like he was panicking. “Where are my makeup remover wipes–” A clattering of things falling out of his messenger bag could be heard. “Shoot!” Remus and Roman exchanged a look as the noises of Patton being flustered echoed into the hallway. “I can’t believe… such a fool… dang it… stop crying, idiot…”

“Patton,” Remus stepped past Roman to knock on the door. “Patton, it’s okay… I uh…” He cleared his throat, “my first impressions of my crush were that he has really awesome floral tattoos, his pink hair is awesome, and he dresses in a really cute way.” He admitted. Roman started to back up, but saw Patton open the door and peek out.

“R-really…?” He asked. It was obvious he had been crying, his eyes were red and his eyeliner had smudged, but he had wiped the majority of it off. “Um…”

“Patton, do you wanna go on a date with me next weekend?”

Roman scooted out of earshot, and stepped back into the living room, but not before he heard Patton squeak out an affirmation. Janus and Logan had disappeared, maybe off to go and do whatever their plans were, and Virgil was scrolling on his phone.

“Sorry about Remus’ dare. If I’d have known about what he’d ask me to do, I would’ve gone with a truth instead,” Roman admitted. Virgil’s face hardened, but the theater major didn’t notice this. “I’d hate to make you uncomfortable.”

“Uh, it’s okay…” Virgil didn’t meet Roman’s eyes, though, as he sat down beside him on the couch. “Actually, um. I was looking at the roles for this next production? Have you looked yet?” Of course Roman had looked. They were going to be doing a production of Wicked, and Roman was absolutely stoked for it.

“Yeah, I’m planning on auditioning for Fiyero…” Roman mused, then remembered the conversation he had with Virgil a few weeks ago. “Is there a role you’re interested in, Virgil?”

“Um, actually, I’ve always loved Boq, but… I don’t know if I’m talented enough for that,” he admitted, twisting his fingers together. “Plus I’m a little tall to play a Munchkin.” Roman sighed, then smiled encouragingly at the taller man.

“Well, I can help you practice for the audition, if you’d like!” Roman said, and Virgil nodded. “I don’t think your height will affect anything, it’s all about talent!”

“Oh. Yeah… I’d uh… really appreciate that, actually.” Virgil responded, still looking down at his hands. “I just… auditioning is really scary, you know?” Roman shrugged, then set his hand on Virgil’s shoulder.

“Maybe they’ll let us audition together, so that way you’ve got a familiar face on stage,” he suggested. Virgil nodded, a small smile appearing on his face. “Hey, don’t worry, Virge. I think you’re gonna do great.”

---

teaser for part two: a botanical garden and some deep conversations

“I’ve never seen you so panicked over a first date, so I think that means that this is… real for you. You’re going to take this one seriously.”

~

“I want someone who understands how special I can be… but also someone who I can pamper and love with all of my heart.”

---

part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten

---

taglist (send an ask, reblog, or reply if you want to be added)

@winterrose42

@are-you-even--real 

[masterlist]

[boreum-dal]

cardcaptor sakura: boy band au #1

so, a while back, in the midst of a DEEP dive into BTS, @swingsdown​ and i brainstormed a stupidly indulgent CCS boy band AU which i’ve written in bits and pieces over the last few months for fun. i don’t plan to do much with it, but i thought it’d be fun to post little bits of it here as it gets written.

below is the rundown: 

touya, yukito, eriol, syaoran, and yamazaki make up japan’s hottest boy group, CLOW, a group that has smashed regional and global records, amassed a cult-like legion of fans, and reached new peaks of success with every comeback they stage. beyond good looks, catchy music, and charming personalities, the group captures the hearts of fans with what appears to be genuine brotherhood and love for each other both on- and off-camera. but just when it looks like they can’t fly any higher, yukito, the glue of the group, abruptly leaves, and everything is at risk of falling apart. 

these are non-chronological vignettes of the band’s time together, both while yukito is with them and after he leaves as they try to stage a return to the music world. 

[see below for descriptions of the boys’ roles in the band, etc. + first vignette]

navigation:

[intro & post-yukito #1] [post-yukito #2] [post-yukito #3]| [during yukito #1]

-touya: rapper/singer, 26, group leader, trainee for longest (6 years--15 to 21) because he didn’t have any proper musical training when he auditioned; wanted to become a musician to help make ends meet for his family. best rapper, ok singer, worst dancer. Is friendly enough for an idol but a little stoic but has lots of fans because he’s very good looking

-yamazaki: rapper/singer, 24, exceptionally good dancer and ok rapper, relatively terrible singer but had to take vocal lessons to improve after yukito left to help fill the gap; never fights with anyone, chaotic energy at almost all times, known for his smiley eyes; known for weirdly high iq

-eriol: singer, 22, classically trained/very good vocalist, TERRIBLE rapper, pretty good dancer, calmest/most polite out of the group, best “face of the group,” known for classic good looks, comes from rich family, bff/roomies with syaoran

-syaoran: singer, 22, second best vocalist behind eriol, not good rapper, pretty good dancer, sometimes gets called “mini touya” because they’re both a little surly and look alike (and is popular despite stoicism/attitude bc he’s cute), hardest on himself and known to be a perfectionist, bff/roomies with eriol, auditioned through global casting in hong kong, had to learn japanese, english, and korean in training

-their fans unironically call themselves “CLOWn.” 

-this is modeled much more after kpop boy groups/the kpop system in general, which i know is quite different from the jpop scene. 

====

[post-yukito #1]

Syaoran watched, holding his breath, as the cameraman counted down with his fingers from three for their cue. At zero, he bowed in perfect unison with his bandmates, rising back up with a practiced smile. Yukito had taught him that the eyes mattered the most--if they don’t crinkle a little, people won’t think it’s genuine, he’d said. Syaoran squeezed the muscles around his cheeks just a little bit tighter and swallowed back bile. He felt Yamazaki squeeze his elbow to his left, and realizing how tense his shoulders were, he took in a breath and tried to force himself to relax.

“Hello, we’re CLOW,” he chorused with the group, and he threw up a v-sign with his fingers, maintaining the fake-genuine smile. Yukito would have been to his right if he’d been here, and he tried not to think about how painfully naked his right shoulder felt. They’d been preparing for this for months, and even so, everything about this situation suddenly felt horribly wrong.

“Hi, CLOW!” the host, a chipper young woman with bright blue hair and purple contact lenses who’d recently made her solo debut a few months ago, exclaimed, turning briefly to them before facing the camera again. 

Syaoran briefly recalled the first time they’d been on this particular concert pre-show; it had been three weeks into their debut, and he’d been so nervous that he could hardly see straight. The interviewer then had been a young man, a fellow idol singer doing a three-month stint as the host for the show, and when the host had held the mic up to Syaoran’s face, he’d been totally speechless, his voice shot from nerves. His whole group--Eriol in particular--had given him hell about it for weeks afterward. Even Yukito, in all his sweet earnestness, had given him some good-natured ribbing about it. Only Touya had refrained, for one reason or another. 

“Today is a very exciting day--your first comeback in over six months with your new single, LOVETORN!” the host said, turning towards Touya. “Tell us, how are you feeling?”

Touya leaned into the mic, facing the camera and wearing a convincingly charming grin. “It feels amazing. We are so happy to be able to provide new music for our fans, who have been so loving and wonderful while we’ve been on our break. We only hope that our fans love the single with as much love as we poured into making it.”

“Well, within twenty-four hours of the music video’s release on YouTube, it already hit 70 million views, so I think we can say with certainty that your fans love the single!” the host chirped. “Can you tell us what the meaning behind this song is?”

Syaoran was relieved the mic did not go to him for this question; he’d have had a difficult time not rolling his eyes. The meaning was pretty clear, he thought. It was a song about wanting someone back. Touya and the producers had decided to capitalize off of the most painful moment in the band’s four-year history by writing a fucking song about the departure of the one member that had truly held the team together. 

Eriol, predictably, was a little more diplomatic in his response, for better or for worse. “Yes, it’s about the pain of being apart from your loved one for a prolonged period of time and life not being the same without them,” he said into the mic. He pushed up his glasses. “In our case, it’s about us being separated from our beloved CLOWNs for so long and wanting desperately to be reunited. And here we are today.”

The host smiled. “Such a sad song, but you’re all so happy to be here! How are you going to emote something so painful onstage?”

It was Syaoran’s turn to speak. All eyes were on him now, and taking an imperceptible half-second to compose himself, he turned on his megawatt smile once more. “It’s quite simple, really. We’ll just think about the times that inspired us to write this song in the first place. All the hardships, all the heartache--we’ll bring it all back onstage. And to that end,” he said, looking directly into the camera, “we’ve missed you very much.”

He hoped Yukito was watching, even though he knew he wasn’t. 

“That is lovely, and we can’t wait to see you perform. Yamazaki, would you like to kick off the performance?”

Yamazaki stuck his face into the camera with a wide grin. “Absolutely. You’re watching Music Centre, and get ready for CLOW’s comeback with our new single, LOVETORN, in three, two, one!”

“Cut!” The director shouted, and the cameras stopped rolling. “Great job, everyone. I love when we get everything we need in one take--after all that time away, you really are true professionals.”

The group bowed, murmuring thanks, and shuffled backstage toward the dressing rooms. 

“Good job, everyone,” Yoshiyuki Terada, the group’s manager, called, looking up from an iPad. “Take ten and then we’ll meet back here--you’re due onstage after this next performance.”

Syaoran made it into the dressing room first, and immediately, he grabbed his headphones out of the pocket of his hoodie hanging from the door and shoved them into his ears. The last thing he wanted to do right now was reflect with the band on that painful interview--not right before they had to go outside and bear their souls to the world for a four-minute performance. Just as he sat down on one of the sofas, though, he felt one of the earbuds being plucked out of his ear. 

He looked up indignantly to see Touya holding the earbud, who was staring down at him with his lips drawn into a disapproving frown. “Quick team meeting.”

Syaoran scowled, but he turned around and leaned the front of his torso against the back of the sofa to face the rest of the group. 

“Okay, guys,” Touya said, leaning against the vanity and crossing his arms. “First live performance of our comeback. How are we feeling?”

“Pretty good, now that the interview’s over,” Eriol said with a sigh. He reached down toward the floor to stretch his legs. “That was the hardest part for me.”

Yamazaki nodded. “Now that we don’t have to talk, I feel fine. It’s just a matter of doing what we’ve been practicing for the last two months now. It’s all muscle memory from here!”

Touya glanced at Syaoran next. Syaoran glared at him for a moment, but then he met Eriol’s softer gaze, and he deflated a little. “I’m--I’ll be fine. I’m not nervous.”

Touya pursed his lips. “You know that’s not what I’m asking.”

“I know.” Syaoran swallowed. “But I don’t know what else I can say.”

Touya regarded him in silence for a moment, and Syaoran knew without looking that Eriol and Yamazaki were watching the exchange with bated breath. Much to Syaoran’s relief, Touya let out a sigh and shrugged his shoulders. “Okay. Let’s do a good job out there tonight. No mistakes. The choreography on this is a little different from what we’re used to, so everyone needs to be in the exact right place at the exact right time.”

Of course it’s different. We’re missing a fifth body.

“How about you, Touya? How are you feeling?” Yamazaki asked, fiddling with the zipper on one of his many pant pockets. 

Touya exhaled softly, and for the first time all night, he raised the corners of his lips in a small smile. “I’m okay. This feels right.”

It didn’t, though, Syaoran thought. Nothing felt right. But his bandmates were clearly so excited to be performing again, Yukito or no, and he wasn’t going to ruin that for them just because he didn’t feel ready. 

“All right, guys, bring it in,” Touya said, holding out his hand. Eriol, Yamazaki, and Syaoran joined. “On three, CLOW. One, two, three--”

“CLOW!” the four of them chimed, and Syaoran followed Touya out of the dressing room and back toward the stage.

[liam-93-productions]

Nearly five years ago, I saw One Direction live. Twice, on consecutive nights – on the first two dates of their On the Road Again world tour. Once was for work, to review the show. The other was for the sheer, heady, sugar-rush pleasure.

I was, I’ll admit, a little on the old side for a Directioner, even then. Most of the 45,000-odd crowd was much younger – not that that you would necessarily be able to tell from the saucy suggestions on their homemade signs. “I don’t want to draw attention to them,” Liam Payne had said fussilyon stage.

It was an on-brand comment for the then-21-year-old Payne, who, had the harried, slightly anxious energy of a father-of-four at Disneyland. And no wonder: it was clear, even to me, that Zayn Malik had checked out, barely bothering to conceal his rolling eyes. He would be gone within the month, marking the beginning of the end (or “indefinite hiatus”) for the biggest boy band in the world.

“It was a point where every day, you didn’t know whether it was going to be the end,” says Payne, sitting in the offices of his PR company in central London. “It was so touch and go, at every single show. I was slowly losing the plot.”

Now 26 and almost totally tattooed, Payne has a new album on which he raps about getting rowdy on Bacardi and being “free” from 1D. At the same time his very-nearly-naked form is plastered on buses and train stations in a provocative ad campaign for Hugo Boss.

Yet Payne is as polite and agreeable as if he were talking to his best friend’s mother. He is tired he says after an energetic early morning music video shoot. “There was a trampoline involved,” he says, sucking on his silver Juul. “It was hell – but it will look great.”

Gym beast and sex symbol are relatively new tags. His role as the diplomat of the group was established from the time they were first assembled from five solo applicants on The X Factor in 2010.

Payne auditioned when he was just 14, but was told by Simon Cowell to “come back in two years”. He did – and, eyes serious beneath his enormous fringe, blew the judges away with a brassy rendition of Cry Me a River.

Growing up in Wolverhampton, he had been a talented cross-country runner – making the reserve list for the British Olympics team. But a fan of Usher, Justin Timberlake and Chris Brown, he was drawn to singing as “the thing that made my parents proudest”. His backup plan, had he not got through on X Factor, was to follow his father into an aircraft fitting factory.

Once grouped in One Direction it took the five boys, then between 16 and 19, to pull together. “At the start we couldn’t get past our own egos,” says Payne. There would be fights over who got to sing what part, and even personal style. “Everybody had their own little thing – it was like having four older brothers.”

Payne went on to write songs for the group, contributing to two-thirds of their 2014 album Four (arguably their best) and even earning a production credit on 2015’s Made in the AM. But in the early days he would be the one to sing the opening part because, he was told at the time, he “used to settle everybody”.

Payne says he was a more experienced performer than the other boys, and a “bit more mature” – which he puts down to spending more time with his dad than his peers, and being so focused on a career in showbusiness. “I’d lived a different lifestyle from 14 to 16. Most kids try alcohol and experiment – I never did any of that because I thought there’s a chance that I might make it.”

Management took advantage of this, he says, telling him his “very specific role” in the group was to keep the rest in line. “I was like, that’s great, innit – because then everyone in the band thinks I’m a dick.” He remembers one of the band’s first hotel stays. “We’ve got plates being thrown out the window, mattresses being ridden down the stairs, and I’m getting calls from the manager saying: ‘You need to sort it out’.”

It wasn’t lost on the fans. Where Malik and Styles were the heartthrobs, Payne says he was classed as Mr Boring. “When you’re at the stadium, and if you get the least screams, it’s like: ‘For fuck’s sake.’”

After a year playing 1D-Dad he gave up and learned to have fun. “If you can’t beat them, join them” – at which point, he notes wryly, the band’s public image became more cheeky and carefree. “And the more fun we had, the more successful it got.”

He recalls performing to sold-out stadiums night after night, seeing “hundreds” of iPhones being thrown onstage in the vain hopes of their being returned with a selfie. “It’s like the kids just lost their minds.”

“There were parts of it that were a bit shit, like there is with anything,” he says, “and there were parts of it that was just euphoria.”

He recalls seeing 15,000 fans camped outside his hotel room in Lima, Peru. Security had advised them to stay inside all day, and because “they were the adults, we thought they were in charge. Then over time we started to figure out that they weren’t, and that’s when we used to run off.”

Yet the adrenaline peaks of performing, followed by long troughs of tedium, were akin to a drug addiction, says Payne. He turned to alcohol. “Doing a show to however many thousands of people, then being stuck by yourself in a country where you can’t go out anywhere – what else are you going to do? The minibar is always there. ”

For a time, he was also taking an epilepsy drug as a mood stabiliser that he says affected his cognitive functioning under certain lights. Payne says he had been well advised to take it, to counter the “erratic highs and lows” he was experiencing – “I just needed a little bit of help to keep me stable” – “but under certain lights on stage or during interviews, I wouldn’t be able to tell them my name”.

The day we meet, Payne has made headlines for telling Ant Middleton on the pair’s Sky One show that the loneliness of fame had “almost nearly killed” him. When Middleton asked Payne if he had ever wanted to act on those feelings, Payne said that he had: “100%”.

He is not inclined to discuss this today, “because it’s a bit dark,” he says, a touch brusquely – “but yeah, it was very touch and go at times”. This was both in 1D and afterwards, he clarifies. As One Direction got bigger and bigger, he says, “I was like: ‘I don’t really know how to deal with this’. Once you start, you can’t really press the stop button.”

The “indefinite hiatus” button, though, was easier – in mid-2015, four months after Malik’s departure, the band made the decision together. “It was a little bit dark and twisted towards the end of it,” says Payne, “but the last few shows were really beautiful moments because the pressure cooker had been let off.

“It was almost like counting down to holiday – we were going to wake up that Monday morning with no schedule.” Afterwards Payne was in therapy for two years, and took six months off. “It was difficult at the start, because I didn’t really know anything about myself. It was a bit of a numb feeling.”

(...)

That schedule is about to get busier, with Payne’s debut album as a solo artist finally out this Friday. Laden with chart-friendly trop house, trap and Latin pop influences, LP 1 plays like a water cannon aimed at commercial radio – there is even a Christmas song.

It has been a long lead-up: the first single, Strip That Down, was released nearly two years ago and established Payne as the 1D member most influenced by contemporary hip-hop – perhaps too much so. A picture he posted to Instagram of himself in February 2018 wearing a chain necklace, flipping the bird and bragging about travelling by private jet was quietly deleted following ridicule.

Amid the success of Strip That Down, which was streamed over 1bn times, Payne was also still “struggling” with alcohol: “I just hid it very well.” He went on to spend an entire year sober – a necessary if boring step. “My social life completely plummeted. I always feel like you never get past the awkward first 10 minutes at a party, when everyone’s like: ‘Do we get up and dance, or do we just sit here?’ I don’t know whether it made me happier, but it was definitely needed.”

His more recent stint of self-discipline was to prepare for his nude photo shoot with model Stella Maxwell for Hugo Boss. In the lead-up, he was in the gym between “five and eight times a week, sometimes twice a day” and eating mostly chicken and vegetables – with no carbohydrates after 2pm and nothing at all after 8pm. For the last “stripping” phase, he ate nothing but porridge and white fish for a month. “It was horrible – but it definitely works.”

The shoot had been his idea, inspired by campaigns featuring David Beckham and Mark Wahlberg – Payne’s role models, whose cross-disciplinary celebrity shapes his own career goals. Last year he auditioned in front of Steven Spielberg for a part in next year’s West Side Story remake, and has been submitting audition tapes irregularly since. “It’s just trying to manage the time in between (...), singer, model and whatever.”

Between the trap beats, tighty-whities and tattoos is he attempting to put across a new, more grown-up image? “Oh yeah, definitely.”

In One Direction, he was “Mr Vanilla – no one wanted to know a thing”. Then, with the “chain and rapper phase … I didn’t really know what I was aiming for, but it was actually exactly where we are right now. I just needed to find the right keys to make me feel like the man I wanted to be.”

Which is, he jokes, is “like a really English Magic Mike”. Do you like being objectified, I ask? “I think it’s quite funny,” says Payne, clearly delighted. The other day, he says, someone sent him a picture of an old lady walking past an enormous blown-up poster of him in his pants. Not bad for Mr Vanilla, I say. “Exactly.”

Liam Payne’s debut album LP1 is out on Friday 6 December

[putschki1969]

Hikaru Real Sound Interview ~ English Translation

Note: Here we have another great long-ass interview. I feel like I have spent way too much time translating interviews the past two days. I am dead. But it was worth it. Reading those interviews is so much fun so I want more people to be able to experience that. Once again Hikaru talks a lot about Kalafina and we get some more insight regarding the two songs of her single. The interviewer is an avid Kala-fan and he asks some interesting questions. As always, take everything you read with a grain of salt. My Japanese is by no means perfect and English is not my first language. CREDIT me if you share this interview or parts of it.

Hikaru// reveals behind-the-scenes information of her solo project activities ~ "If it hadn’t been for my 10 years as part of Kalafina, there would be no H-el-ical//"

Hikaru//’s (ex. Kalafina) Solo Project H-el-ical// ・Major Debut Single "Altern-ate-" released on May 20

Hikaru// has regularly posted songs under the name stage-name H-el-ical// on YouTube since May 2019. In the blink of an eye the solo project of “Kalafina’s Hikaru” attracted a lot of attention and at the end of last year, she held a one-man live at Kanagawa Prefectural Hall. At her sold-out concert she announced her major debut with a song that would be adopted as the opening theme for the TV anime "Gleipnir" which is currently airing.

Kalafina was known as a masterpiece in the anime song world, at the peak of their success they held a 2 Day Live at Tokyo Budokan. After the group had stopped their activities in the spring of 2018, what were Hikaru//’s thoughts and how did she start her solo project? She shared a wide range of stories, from her past activities right up until her feelings regarding her major debut as a solo artist.

H-el-ical// is a project of “elevation” shared with everyone

ーー Kalafina’s activities came to a halt in March 2018, you started to publish songs on YouTube under the name of H-el-ical// in May 2019. What did you do during this 1 year break?

Hikaru//: I was working in a nursery school as a childcare assistant, something I had always felt connected with.

ーー So you lived a life separated from music?

Hikaru//: Working at a nursery school felt very therapeutic and it once again made me aware of the preciousness of life. In the meantime I was searching for the music I wanted to do. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to make a proper comeback and create music without someone supporting me. During that time someone who I had known from my Kalafina days reached out to me, I was able to meet up with him. I remember we talked about various things, “what should I do?” “Right now I am thinking about this kind of thing” “I would like to try doing this sort of music.” 

ーー What IS the kind of music you want to do?

Hikaru//: Since I have learned so much as a member of Kalafina that will always be a part of me, I would not want to let go of that aspect entirely. I also want to pursue all the music I am capable of making now that I am a solo artist. I want to create music that incorporates various elements without being bound by a single genre. I also really wanted to try and write my own lyrics.

ーー Gushimiyagi Hideyuki-san has been in charge of composing all the songs you have released on YouTube under your name H-el-ical//, right? He seems like a perfect fit for you. In the past he has been active as guitar player in bands such as “MUKASHIBANASHI” and “creature falls umbrella”.

Hikaru//: That's right. I met Gushimiyagi-san when he was introduced to me by Tomita (Akihiro)-san, my producer. During our first meeting he gave me a demo tape and told me, “I wrote these two songs for you with your image in mind!” Those songs were “pulsation” which was the first song I released on YouTube, and “Avaricia”, the second song that got released. 

ーー So this specific Gushimiyagi-Sound was something you wanted for yourself? 

Hikaru//: Yes! I'm sorry, I can't really explain why but I really like Gushimiyagi-san's music (laughs).

ーー H-el-ical//’s music has a signature guitar sound but it’s not plain guitar rock. It sounds more like Post-Rock music. At any rate, it really fits you, it’s very Hikaru//-like.

Hikaru//: ...Hmm, I wonder why? I guess these songs are also very Hikaru//-like because I am writing the lyrics myself and I am in full control during the recording...I am listening to the demo tapes by Gushimiyagi-san and then I will come up with all kinds of ideas, “I want to sing it like this” or “I want to use this kind of voice”. This way I am adopting a specific style for each song. 

ーー By the way, I wonder why you chose the name “H-el-ical//”? Why not use a big brand name like "Kalafina's Hikaru" that everyone would have recognised? I was honestly surprised that you didn’t put that name up-front.

Hikaru//: I think that might be due to everything I learned as part of Kalafina. From the get-go I had wanted to become a solo singer and I did countless auditions but then I found out that I would get the opportunity to join Kalafina. During the following ten years of activity I learned that there are many things in life that you cannot do on your own. There is only so much a single person can do. There have always been Wakana-san and Keiko-san, the musicians, staff members and of course everyone who supported us, the fans. If it hadn’t been for all of them our music would not have been possible. With these experiences in mind I felt very forlorn and disheartened when I thought about starting a solo career (laughs). You can’t do something like that without the help and support from others.

ーー So “H-el-ical//” is the name of your solo project but you are not "H-el-ical//"? The name includes everyone who is working with you, the music production team, recording staff and composer.

Hikaru//: And the audience too. "Helical" means "spiral". When I looked up the word "spiral" in a dictionary, I found the following description, "a line with a basic repeating structure that rises infinitely without ever remaining in the same position". I feel the same way about my singing and continuing to make music, I chose the word “Helical” because I have the desire to make progress, to reach higher and to create music together with everyone. In the end I also felt like adding some hyphens (laughs).

ーー The hyphens ...Yes, I want to know more about the hyphens (laughs). When you first see the name "H-el-ical//", I wondered whether I should separate the word into different syllables? But you put the hyphens into positions that have nothing to do with syllables so you can’t really separate the name into different parts.

Hikaru//: Well, to start with, I would like you to read the name omitting the "-el-" in the middle.

ーー Ah, it is read as 「ヒカル」"Hi Ka Ru"!

Hikaru//: That's right (laughs). Also, the "el" in the middle is "elevation", which means "going higher or ascending", something is increasing by adding an outside force or element. In other words, it means that you can make progress not only by using your own power but also through  the power of the people around you.

ーー As you said earlier, this project is about reaching higher together with everyone, right? Now let’s talk about the two slashes, you are using them in your stage name "H-el-ical//" but also for your name "Hikaru//", why did you add them at the end?

Hikaru//: It is supposed to mean that I have proven what I wanted to prove, a sort of proof of my existence, Q.E.D. “thus it has been demonstrated”. “This is H-el-ical//’s music”, “this is Hikaru//’s music”. That's why my name is Hikaru// when I work for my project “H-el-ical//” but this summer when I am performing as a guest vocalist at Kajiura-san’s live ("Yuki Kajiura LIVE vol. #16 ~ Sing a Song Tour 2020 ~") I am called "Hikaru".

ーー There is another big question people have regarding your “H-el-ical//” activities, why did you decide to release music for free on YouTube back in May 2019? To be honest, with a big name like "Kalafina's Hikaru" I assume you could have gotten many offers from a variety of major labels, even if you had just released a CD independently or focussed on doing a few lives, I think you could have generated some nice sales and mobilised a considerable amount of fans...

Hikaru//: No, no, no. Life is not that easy (laughs).

ーー Oh really, I thought in your case it would have been easy ...

Hikaru//: I think this break was necessary, everyone needed some time to heal, after all, I had no idea how long it would take for people to accept me as a solo artist without any attachment to Kalafina. That’s why I started by posting videos on YouTube, I was very excited about that (laughs).

The story of "Kalafina’s Hikaru" and "H-el-ical//’s Hikaru//"

ーー However, contrary to what you may have expected, your MV "pulsation" which was released in May 2019 has currently more than 70,000 views. And of course at the time of its publication it caused quite some turmoil online. 

Hikaru//: I didn’t include my name “Hikaru//” when I posted "pulsation" and the songs released afterwards, they were all released under the name “H-el-ical//” but right away there were people in the comment section of YouTube wondering if this was “Kalafina’s Hikaru” (laughs).

ーー It’s no surprise, ”Kalafina’s Hikaru” had a great influence so your secret was leaked (laughs).

Hikaru//: I wanted to start by assembling some songs as an unidentified artist called H-el-ical//, then when it was decided that I would join my current agency Hifumi it was finally revealed that “H-el-ical//” was my solo project. At that time I got many messages saying, “I knew it was you!” 

ーー With more than 70,000 views I guess it’s safe to say that not everyone watching knew who was behind H-el-ical//, I think there must have been many people who had no idea of the existence of Kalafina. 

Hikaru//: That made me very happy. Of course, Kalafina's Hikaru is forever linked to H-el-ical// because it is in fact me but I started releasing music under my solo project “H-el-ical//” so it really boosted my confidence that there were actually people who said they liked H-el-ical// as an independent artist without any association to Kalafina.

ーー After the release of "pulsation" and after revealing the identity of H-el-ical// you were busy releasing songs on YouTube, how do you make music together with Gushimiyagi-san who is in charge of the composition and arrangement?

Hikaru//: As I mentioned, the first two songs were written based on the image he had of me, with the other songs I made vague suggestions, asking for all kinds of things such as “Southeast-Asian” vibes, something with a “earthy” feel or songs that would get the audience super hyped during a live.

ーー Now that you mention it I am amazed because H-el-ical//’s discography is indeed filled with songs that have a "Southeast-Asian” or “earth-like” sound. In other words, I think Gushimiyagi-san really tried his best to do your orders justice. 

Hikaru//: They were more like rough requests (laughs).

ーー Yes (laughs). So why do you think Gushimiyagi-san was able to fulfil your "rough requests" so perfectly?

Hikaru//: Who knows why? Gushimiyagi-san always says, "the variety of songs I can write for H-el-ical// increases steadily”. He often comes across as confused but then he will suddenly pull all these amazing “Southeast-Asian” and “earth-like” songs out of his hat. After recording a song I would always talk with Gushimiyagi-san and Tomita-san about what kind of songs to do next. Whenever I suggested something abstract like a "Southeast-Asian song" Tomita-san would name a handful of specific artists and songs for reference asking if I meant something like that. I guess it’s due to those follow-up discussions that Gushimiyagi-san was able to fulfil my requests so perfectly.

ーー You are releasing your single "Altern-ate-" this month, pretty much one year after you started your activities as H-el-ical//. How does this solo debut feel for you? Despite your great achievements as part of Kalafina - such as holding a 2-Day Live at Nippon Budokan - does this somehow feel different to your past experiences?

Hikaru//: It feels completely different. Precisely because this is not Kalafina (laughs). Until now, Kajiura-san wrote the songs and lyrics, I was singing together with Wakana-san and Keiko-san to bring someone else’s music to life. that music was loved by many people but this time around it’s just me, it’s only Hikaru//. So I was incredibly worried.

ーー Did you feel uneasy even after your YouTube videos had gained a lot of attention and your live at Kanagawa Prefectural Hall last year had been a huge success?

Hikaru//: I had a wonderful time at that concert thanks to everyone who attended it that day but now that I am releasing my single "Altern-ate-", I am filled with anxiety and nervousness (laughs).

ーー At that live you announced your major debut as a solo artist and that your debut song would be the opening theme for the TV anime "Gleipnir" which is currently airing.

Hikaru//: Yes.

ーー H-el-ical// is credited as lyricist for the opening song "Altern-ate-" of the anime "Gleipnir", as is the case with all your previous songs, you have written the lyrics yourself, right? Did you have any experience writing lyrics before your activities as a solo artist?

Hikaru//: No. I has always wanted to write the lyrics but as Kalafina we were dedicated to singing Kajiura-san's songs.

ーー So it’s been about one year since you have started writing lyrics?

Hikaru//: Yes, my lyrics are still 1st grade level (laughs).

ーー It doesn’t feel like that. You come across as very articulate, your lyrics are incredibly complex.

Hikaru//: Oh !? Really? Thank you!

ーー I guess the line〈二人で一つ | two people in one〉that appears repeatedly in your lyrics reflects the relationship between Shuichi Kagaya, the protagonist of the anime who has the ability to transform into a giant mascot plushie, and the heroine Clair Aoki. Additionally, you have included a lot of key elements from the Norse mythology in your lyrics, the original “Gleipnir” work was heavily influenced by these elements. Some examples are 〈猫の足音 | the noise a cat makes in foot-fall〉〈岩の根 | the roots of a rock〉〈鳥たちは生唾飲む | the spittle of birds〉〈魚さえ息潜めて | the breath of a fish〉〈髭が棘みたいにいたい（彼女はもういない）| the beard of a woman〉〈熊の腱 | the sinews of a bear〉.

Hikaru//: Yes. I'm so happy you got a those references (laughs).

ーー Yes, I'm very familiar with the anime and the original work. So when I read through your lyrics I thought, "oh, this person is very talented."

Hikaru//: I am a big reader and I love to read all kinds of stuff into something (laughs). I have always loved anime and manga .... Basically I am just a big otaku...

ーー It's quite obvious when you look at your Instagram (laughs). You are posting pictures of all the manga you have read in a day or a cover photo of a "Princess Principal" CD.

Hikaru//: I guess I am a little obsessed (laughs). But that's why when it was decided I would write the lyrics for an anime song, I wanted something that really sounded like an anime song. By the time I wrote the lyrics, 6 volumes of the original manga had already been released so while reading through those 6 volumes over and over again, I assembled all words that reminded me of my favorite lines and the most impressive scenes. The original manga is a wonderful work so I didn’t have much trouble writing the lyrics. My love for anime and manga makes it possible that I can write such lyrics so I really wanted to write something special. 

ーー In addition, 〈二人で一つ | two people in one〉can also be interpreted as a reflection of the “H-el-ical//” project, it showcases your determination to work together as a team consisting of Hikaru//, your composer, the staff members and all the fans. In the story of "Gleipnir", were there any scenes that resonated strongly with you?

Hikaru//: Yes. One of the goals of watching anime and reading manga is to immerse yourself in a fantasy world and to escape reality but actually it has the opposite effect for me. After returning from the fantasy worlds of anime and manga, I always feel like I have learned a lot and I gain the courage to face reality. “This part of the story applies to my current situation”, “Should I act like this when I am faces with these kinds of challenges?” It’s things like that which you learn while reading manga and watching anime. When it comes to “Gleipnir” I strongly sympathise with the characters who are facing hardships and who are struggling to overcome the obstacles that are put in their way. That’s because I as Hikaru// am trying to pursue an ideal image of myself as a singer. In the pursuit of this image I often come across hurdles or I hit a wall. In moments like this I needed the help of my friends to overcome those obstacles.

ーー One part of the lyrics strikes me as particularly strange, it’s a line that appears multiple times in your lyrics as well as in the manga and anime,〈この物語の主役じゃない | I am not the protagonist of this story〉. I felt like that line didn’t really suit you?

Hikaru//: Oh really?

ーー Because you are always front and center on the stage, aren’t you? That was the case back in your Kalafina days and it was the same during your H-el-ical// live last year at Kanagawa Prefectural Hall.

Hikaru//: Well, that's something I learned during my time as a member of Kalafina, most of the time the parts I was singing were not the main melody. When Wakana-san and Keiko-san were taking the lead, I was providing the harmonies, during those moments I often thought about my position. It's important to create a good balance with the lead but I also wanted the audience to know that I was singing, I wanted my vocals to be heard. I was constantly wondering about my role when standing on stage so actually, I can very much relate to the words “I am not the protagonist of this story”.

ーー At first glance the line has a negative ring to it but actually it's a positive message. Even if you're not the protagonist your presence on stage is meaningful and you will get your chance to shine there.

Hikaru//: Not only the protagonist but all the characters around him are indispensable to the story.

"Altern-ate-" is connecting "Gleipnir" and H-el-ical//

ーー How did you come up with the title ...

Hikaru//: Oh, actually my manager came up with the idea (laughs).

ーー But it was you who made the final decision, right?

Hikaru//: It was quite similar to the title I was originally thinking of. The word "Alternate" as in “alternating”/”mutual” is an important keyword in the work "Gleipnir".

ーー It's a story of "two in one” where Shuichi and Clair are becoming one to fight off enemies and grow to adulthood.

Hikaru//: I also like that there is are hyphens surrounding "ate". After all, "ate" is the past tense of "eat"? For me this word conveys an image of "fighting for your survival." There are various difficulties in life, you have to race ahead, there is always this underlying feeling of having to fight. So I think the title "Altern-ate-" is really fitting.

ーー This is just my impression as a long-time Kalafina fan but I was surprised to see you reveal such a raw fighting spirit.

Hikaru//: Oh really? When I was singing back then I guess I was mostly in charge of the dramatic and emotional parts (laughs).

ーー Of course your singing was very cool during the Kalafina era but during the MCs you always seemed so cute and reserved. For example, when you were introducing the live goods you always tried your best to appeal to the fans by saying things like, "please don’t forget to walk past the merch booth before you go home". From these moments I always got the impression you were a very cheerful and lively person...

Hikaru//: Hahahaha (laughs). Certainly there may be such an image. But basically, I am super stubborn and not very flexible. When I had just joined I was incredibly shy so I never talked to the other members. But then Wakana-san and Keiko-san would tell me, "You have to talk to us or otherwise we don’t know what you are thinking, please try to talk a little more?" That’s when I knew I had to start getting involved with people little by little. I realised that I can make better music by communicating with the others and relying on them.

ーー So did you choose the title “Altern-ate-” because it emphasises “mutuality”?

Hikaru//: Yes, the “H-el-ical//” project is something I decided I wanted to make together with everyone, I will continue to make music with the help of various people.

ーー What kind of request did you have for Gushimiyagi-san in regard to this song?

Hikaru//: This time I didn’t have a particular request for him, Gushimiyagi-san was entrusted with the requests from the people responsible for the anime production.

ーー But it feels very much in line with all the other  H-el-ical// songs that have been released on YouTube so far. It all comes together nicely, there’s no distortion.

Hikaru//: I think that’s because Gushimiyagi-san always makes "Music for H-el-ical//" and I am writing the lyrics. Another reason may be that the H-el-ical// team is in control of the final sound by participating in the mix work.

ーー Do you record what appeals to you or rather what you think appeals to the listener?

Hikaru//: I'm not all too familiar with the technical aspects of music but during mixdown and trackdown I always share my first impression and other opinions. But of course I have no choice but to leave all the stuff I am clueless about to the experts. I always have to remind myself of that (laughs).

ーー I guess that’s where your stubbornness comes through a little ...

Hikaru//: With 10 years worth of experience as part of Kalafina I now know that the best things in life are born out of group efforts, of willingly entrusting certain duties to others.

ーー The name and sound design may be different but it seems like your story as Kalafina’s Hikaru is beautifully connected to your story as H-el-ical//’s Hikaru//.  

Hikaru//: If it hadn't been for my 10 years as part of Kalafina, there would be no H-el-ical//.

ーー Now let’s talk about the B-Side "clea-rly-". This is a non-tie-up song.

Hikaru//: I wrote the lyrics having the image of a strong spirited girl in mind.

ーー Did you put part of yourself in the lyrics?

Hikaru//: This ties back to what I said earlier, there is a fantasy element in the music but in addition, it plays a role in being able to face reality. The song "clea-rly-", is about a pure but slightly arrogant girl... In a sense, you could say she is a Tsundere. Singing about a girl like that feels like a fantasy coming true so I really wanted to sing it (laughs)...

ーー Is that a motif that inspired by Gushimiyagi-san's melody and arrangement? Or is it your favourite girl image?

Hikaru//: Some of it was inspired by the melody but I also let myself be influenced by the fact that it is the B-Side of the opening theme of "Gleipnir".

ーー So because this was the B-Side of the OP for “Gleipnir” you felt the strong urge to sing a song about a Tsundere Girl?

Hikaru//: Since this is my debut single I really wanted to use the momentum and arrive with a bang. That's why the B-Side is also an up-tempo song. I did worry a lot about the lyrics though. Tomita-san said, "why don't you pay tribute to "Gleipnir "and let yourself be inspired by another character?" "Altern-ate- "is basically from Shuichi’s point of view so he suggested I should focus on another character for the B-Side. That’s how I came up with the idea of ​​singing about a girl like Clair.

ーー Clair definitely gives off Tsundere vibes. The lyrics of this song are once again really good. In the first chorus you sang 〈どんな非情な手だって全て〉 and in the second chorus you sang 〈どんな非常な日だって全て〉. Instead of the words rhyming, you are playing with words by using homonyms.

Hikaru//: Hahahaha(laughs). I have always loved reading books and back in the day when I was blogging for Kalafina I would always start my blog posts with a word game. I enjoy doing tricky stuff like that.

ーー The title of the song, "clea-rly-", is also separated by hyphens ...

Hikaru//: Please try to read the first 4 letters (laughs).

ーー Ah! It's "clea" (KuReA = Clair)!

Hikaru//: That's right (laughs).

ーー I think with your great vocals - popular ever since your Kalafina days -, the great music, the fascinating lyrics and the intriguing rhetoric in the titles your single is more than worthy of H-el-ical//’s major debut. But what are your plans for the future?

Hikaru//: Of course it’s very difficult to talk about wanting to hold lives in the current situation, But of course I'm going to continue to make music, I enjoy being together with you through the "H-el-ical//" project, I hope I can create good music and perform it live someday soon. I had my debut with an anime tie-up but I will do non-tie-ups too so I would like to continue releasing  H-el-ical// songs on my official YouTube channel.

ーー Actually, you released three songs in a row shortly before “Gleipnir” was airing and during the broadcast period. You released 「水 – Find your answer」,「風 – Struggle to admit」and「地 – Side by side」just before and immediately after your major debut song was distributed on TV. I was taken aback by your seemingly endless desire to create (laughs).

Hikaru//: I had planned to do an acoustic live on April 5, I was meant to perform 5 new songs for that. I decided to release those 5 songs independently on a CD titled "elements" which was available for purchase in my online shop. Three of those songs I already released on YouTube. In situations like this, I would like to explore what I can do as H-el-ical// and find new ways to enjoy music with you.