#after i specifically told myself i wasn't gonna do this again

[foxedfriend]

9-1-1 || 7x04

here before buddie canon!! 😜😜

(🤡🤡🤡)

also currently listening to bad omens by 5sos and that exactly describes how i feel about this.

[puppmeo]

Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: I’m On Fire*

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Summary: When Joe mistakenly leaves his JB9 iced-out chain while at an away game, you bless him with a little photoshoot while you're hours away in Cincinnati.

Warnings: Smut

Paring: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Just the Two of Us

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*No specific date for this fic!*

(y/n’s pov)

Joe had just left the house for an away game, and due to some work-related stuff, I wasn't able to go with him.

The pouty expression he gave me when we were standing at the front door just a little bit ago made me want to climb into his bag. His lower lip sticking out was oddly convincing, along with his blue eyes.

“Joe, you know I can't go, baby.” - you

“Please… I want you to go with me.” - Joe whined

“I wish I could go too, but I can't, J.” - you

Joe whined once again, but this time, it made me roll my eyes. My annoyance didn't last long, though, as he hunched over and laid his head on my shoulder.

“I love you.” - Joe mumbled

His face being pressed into my neck made his words muffled, but it was oddly adorable.

“I love you too, but if you don't leave now, you're going to be late.” - you

I laughed when he stood up straight and groaned.

“I'm gonna be so lonely by myself in my hotel room tonight.” - Joe

“We can Facetime, goofball.” - you

“Not the same.” - Joe whined

“Okay, enough whining. Goodbye, Joe.” - you

Joe stared at me for a few seconds, trying to come up with a response that didn't show how annoyed he really was.

“Bye…” - Joe mumbled

I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Joe’s lips. When I pulled away, I giggled at the look of his flushed cheeks.

“Love you, sheisty.” - you

“Love you too.” - Joe grinned

——

Hours later, I was bored out of my mind, all alone in this big house.

I had cleaned almost the entire house, scrolled through Pinterest, made a dinner recipe I had pinned, and finished a show I had been binging - Fool Me Once.

There was pretty much nothing to do.

All I was doing right now was lying in bed, watching the ceiling fan turn, and feeling kinda sad when I got a whiff of Joe’s scent off of his pillow.

I missed him, and I saw him just hours ago.

That's what happens when your boyfriend turns into your best friend, I guess.

Joe’s game wasn't till tomorrow, but they'd probably just landed at their destination.

Maybe I should text him?

After thinking about it for a few minutes, I made up my mind and texted Joe.

hiiii

Ew, no. Sounds desperate.

What am I even talking about? I've been with this man for six years.

I had almost deleted my message, but Joe answered before I could.

HIIII! 😁

He's such a dork, I thought to myself with a giggle.

Wyd?

Nothinggg, hbu??

Do I tell the truth or make a lie to seem productive? In the end, I told the truth.

Missing you.

My heart warmed at Joe’s message back.

I miss you too. ☹️

Are you at your hotel yet?

It took Joe a few minutes to answer, but his reasoning was ironic.

Just got back from checking in actually. Imma head up to my room, take a shower, and then ft you.

Okay, I'll talk to you then! 🫶

Talk to ya then, I LOVE YOU! 🥰

I hearted his message and than sent the sentiment back.

Love you more, baby. 😘

The conversation ended after Joe’s simple but butterfly-inducing text.

Not fuckin’ possible.

——

We were on Facetime for way longer than we should have, but neither of us cared.

The call ended with the usual “I love you more” back-and-forth playful argument.

Joe won in the end, and I can't say I’m surprised because he always did.

After the call ended, I was just lying in bed, my head on Joe’s pillow, just to smell his scent.

I got bored eventually and decided to play around in the closet. Joe always forbade me from trying on his chains, but he wasn't here.

My eyes immediately widened with excitement as I opened the top drawer on Joe’s side of our walk-in closet.

Everything was cleared out except one chain, he probably took them all with him to have options for his fit tomorrow.

“Damn, this is heavy.” - you mumbled

It was the JB9 Nike check chain Joe wore for the AFC Championship in 2022.

One of my personal favorites out of his collection but too iconic to be worn again.

God, he looked so hot that day.

I stared at myself in the mirror, the chain of my boyfriend’s initials and number adorning my neck.

That's when I got the idea.

——

Settling into my bed for the night, I grabbed my phone and giggled to myself as I looked through the pictures recently taken in my camera roll.

Nothing but black lace and that iced-out chain.

——

Next Day

Joe won his game, and sure, I was happy to see him win, but being miles away from him and unable to celebrate with him put a damper on my mood.

I watched the game by myself in the living room, and then proudly watched his post-game conference.

Just a minute after Joe left the media room, I received a text from him.

Did you watch the game?

Of course. Watched your conference too, baby.

Joe didn’t answer for a few minutes, and I thought he might've gone to take his postgame shower, but his text back made me laugh.

I just got made fun of because I was blushing from your text. “You texting yo girl?”

What did you say back? 😂

I proudly said yes. 😁

A few seconds passed before another text vibrated my phone.

Hey, I gotta go shower, though. We're set to get home late tonight, so don't wait up on me.

What if I want to?

You'll wake up with me next to you in the morning either way, so no need to wait for me to get back.

He was right, so I left him alone to go shower.

——

It was around ten o'clock, and Joe had texted me just a little bit ago, saying they were on the bus to the airport.

Out of nowhere, with no context or caption with it, I sent Joe my little experiment earlier.

Attachment: 10 images

When I was left alone with Joe’s chain earlier, I took a little photo shoot with some black lace lingerie and Joe’s chain.

He'd usually take a power nap on his way to the plane, so I was surprised when his response was quick.

Joe sent a picture of himself with his eyes wide and mouth dropped open in shock.

The silly reaction picture made me giggle, but I had no idea that Joe had just pulled his bag onto his lap while on the bus in an attempt to hide the stirring between his legs.

Fucking shit, y/n. I'm getting so hard right now that I might have to rub one out on the plane.

No. 😘

Wdym, no?

How do I word this?

You always get pissed when I get off without you, how about a taste of your own medicine?

I don't get pissed…

Joe, honey.

Please, baby.

No.

Joe sighed and put his phone on his chest, discreetly slipping his hand down his sweatpants to rearrange the erection in his boxers. He's so hard just from the sight of nothing but lingerie and his initials in the form of diamonds on your body.

He so wished he was with you, inside you.

——

When Joe got home, it was really late.

You were already sleeping, so when Joe slipped into the bedroom he made sure to be quiet.

Joe stood there for a few seconds, just admiring how peaceful you looked while sleeping.

A small smile found its way onto his face when he noticed you were wearing his t-shirt and snuggled onto his pillow instead of yours.

After staring for a lot longer than he anticipated, Joe put his bag down and took his sweatshirt off before crawling into bed beside you.

You stirred for a bit, feeling the presence of someone else near you. After moving around for a bit, you were met with a hard chest, but you knew it all too well.

Joe grinned to himself when you snuggled into him, your face against his pec. He ran his fingers through your hair, and soon, you were peacefully sleeping again.

Feeling tired but unable to sleep, Joe discreetly grabbed his phone to see the messages he wasn't able to answer on the plane and his drive home.

You sent him a video?

Joe made sure his volume was down before pressing play on the video. His eyes went wide when he was met with the sight of you fingering yourself.

All at once, Joe’s heart rate picked up, he started sweating, and his cock stirred in his sweatpants.

He didn't need volume to know you were moaning his name with each thrust of your fingers. Joe was able to read your lips.

The sight of your head thrown back, bare chest, and your sweet heat swallowing your fingers had Joe fully erect in a matter of a minute.

He needed you badly.

Joe can admit he was thinking with his dick and not his brain when he shook you awake. In his defense, most of his blood supply was in the wrong head.

“Joey?” - you mumbled

“Shit- sorry I woke you up…” - Joe

“I missed you…” - you

His heart fluttered, and he hoped you wouldn't shift around and feel him. Please just go back to sleep.

In all honesty, Joe felt guilty waking you up with his sexual needs in mind. He felt horrible and selfish.

“Missed you too, baby.” - Joe

You moved around and Joe’s eyes went wide. Please don't feel it. Please don't feel it.

Abruptly, you paused your shifting and looked up at Joe’s face. Maybe she just found a comfortable spot?

It was hard to make out Joe’s features in the dark, but you could see his piercing blue eyes easily.

Unbeknownst to Joe, you'd felt his hard-on as soon as he got it, but you wanted to mess with him, make him beg for it.

Slowly, you reached your hand out and palmed his bulge. Joe bit his lower lip to stop an audible reaction as you started rubbing him.

“He missed me too, huh?” - you giggle

“Fuck- so much.” - Joe

“Take your pants off, Joe.” - You

Joe shed his pants and boxers off faster than the speed of light, all because his girl asked.

Now that he was completely free from restraint, Joe got even harder, and he didn't think that was possible.

You spit into your hand and firmly grasped his cock, a plan forming in your mind as you started to jerk him off.

Joe was a groaning mess, relishing in the feel of your hand around his length because he'd needed this for days.

Precum was beading at Joe’s tip, so you maneuvered yourself around to take him into your mouth.

“Sh-it.” - Joe moaned

He was close, so close.

“Baby- I'm gonna… cum!” - Joe

You pulled off of him, trying to follow your plan of edging him until he couldn't help but beg for you to finish him off, but Joe was too close to stop his inevitable orgasm.

With a loud moan, Joe shot his load onto your face, some making it into your mouth.

Both of you were surprised when it happened, looking at each other with wide eyes.

“I- I'm sorry…” - Joe

“No, don't be.” - you

You reached out and put a hand on his chest, rubbing comforting circles on it.

He grabbed a tissue off of his nightstand and wiped his cum off of your face.

“That was kinda embarrassing…” - Joe

“Why?” - you

Your voice was soft, a little sad yourself that Joe felt embarrassed.

“I don't know, I couldn't stop it from happening, but it happened so fast. Like under three minutes? That's embarrassing.” - Joe

“Joe, don't be embarrassed. How long you last doesn't matter to me at all, I just wanna make you feel good.” - you

He nodded but bit the insides of his cheeks.

“I think it's kinda hot that I can get you off that fast. Makes me feel good about myself.” - you

“Really? You don't think it's funny or embarrassing?” - Joe

“No, baby.” - you

You leaned up and pressed a big kiss to Joe’s lips, one of his legs slotting between yours, causing you to grind down onto his thigh.

“Mmm, Joey baby.” - you moaned

“That's it.” - Joe

——

Next Morning

You woke up with a grin on your face as you replayed last night's events in your mind.

Joe had gotten you off twice with his fingers and tongue before he filled you up with his thick cock.

In the back of his mind, he was still feeling a little self-conscious about his first orgasm of the night, but he wouldn't let it show.

When you two were in the shower cleaning up, you could tell something was on Joe’s mind and that something was what had happened earlier.

Without saying anything, you dropped to your knees when his back was to you. He turned around and looked down at you, his dick stirring to life at the all-too-familiar position.

Despite the fact you two had just gone four rounds, Joe’s craving for you was never-ending.

You'd slowly reached out to stroke him, and you finished him off with your mouth.

He manhandled you back to your feet before pressing you against the shower wall.

“If you want me to stop, I will, but you started this.” - Joe

The feel of his thick length against your behind, and his hands holding you in place was getting you worked up all over again.

“Fuck me, Joey.” - you

You two ended the night giggling in bed as you counted up the number of orgasms shared between you two that night.

“Four for me, four for you, gah-lee!” - Joe

“I’m not gonna be able to walk tomorrow morning.” - you

“Fuck I might even have a limp.” - Joe

You were pulled out of your fantasies when Joe walked into the bedroom. Toes curled at the sweet sight of him.

Joe wore nothing but a bashful smile, a pair of sweatpants, and raging bedhead.

“Hi.” - you smiled

“Hi. How'd you sleep?” - Joe

“Good. Get in bed with me?” - you

He did as you asked and curled up in bed beside you, pulling you into his chest in the process.

“Where were you?” - you

“Uh… nowhere…” - Joe

You sat up and looked at him, giving him a skeptical look as you narrowed your eyes at him.

Joe sighed and broke your eye contact.

“I was doing something downstairs. It was supposed to be a surprise after you got ready, but you can come downstairs now.” - Joe

You excitedly jumped out of Joe’s arms and ran out of the bedroom, your hand grabbing his as he followed you.

When you two got downstairs, you saw the dining table set up like a date. Breakfast on both of the plates and a bouquet of roses between them.

Joe walked away from you for a second and grabbed a rose.

He walked back up to you and held the flower in front of his bare chest.

“Go on a date with me?” - Joe

You grinned at your boyfriend so big that your cheeks hurt.

“Of course.” - you

Joe handed the single rose to you, and you stood up on your tiptoes to place a kiss on his smooth cheek.

“Thank god, woulda been really awkward if you said no.” - Joe

“I'd never say no to you.” - you laughed

The blush on his cheeks went deep, almost to the shade of the rose he gave you.

You spent the rest of the morning laughing with the handsome man you loved so deeply, wondering about how you got so lucky, and thinking about your future with him.

You were so grateful to have a man you could laugh with, share secrets with, tell all the drama to, and have intense intimate moments with. Sometimes, all within the same day or hour.

It was scary to realize how much of yourself you put in Joe’s hands, but you trusted him more than anything.

The sweet thoughts and realizations were swirling in your mind and making you smile. You'd been staring out of the window, but your thoughts were abruptly interrupted…

*BURP*

Your wide eyes snapped over to Joe, who was holding a hand over his mouth and shared the same wide-eyed look.

“Sorry, didn't expect it to be that loud.” - Joe laughed

“Gosh, I love you.” - you laughed along with him

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Authors note: GOT IT OUT BEFORE MONDAY! 😆

Request for this fic;

Hope you enjoyed! ❤️❤️

[spacelazarwolf]

i think sexual abuse is a lot more complicated than ppl want to admit and i’m going to use two (of the many) scenarios i’ve personally been in to talk abt it. it’s gonna get kind of explicit so just be warned.

so the first scenario is me and my high school boyfriend. we're both 15 and horny all the time, and the first time we have sex i didn't even know it was going to happen. we were messing around in my garage, and he just like. stuck it in. was losing my virginity bent over a tractor in the garage the way i wanted to lose my virginity? no. did he ask for my consent? no. but. i do not consider what happened to me to be rape or assault. it didn't upset me, it didn't cause me trauma, it really didn't affect me beyond "holy shit i lost my virginity."

the second scenario is something that happened frequently between me and my abusive ex boyfriend. i would be in the mood for sex, express that interest to him, he would reject me, so i would back off. then after a minute, he would start flirting with me and showing interest in having sex with me, so i'd start flirting back, and then he'd reject me again. and when i say reject, i don't just mean "i'm not in the mood" i mean "ew why are you being so clingy get off me" when moments before he'd been grabbing my ass. he would go through this cycle until he was satisfied that i felt shitty enough about myself that i'd let him do whatever he wanted. did i want to have sex? yes. did i consent to that sex? yes. but. i consider what happened to be sexual abuse because he explicitly needed me to feel like shit in order for him to enjoy the sex and in order for me to not question what happened during it because i would feel like i "wanted it."

between those two scenarios, only one happened specifically without my consent. but that's not the scenario i consider to be assault. some might say the second situation was a negation of consent, and i think it absolutely can be. but for me and my own personal experience, i consider it to essentially be weaponizing the consent i did give, which is what made it so insidious. and i feel like people often want to project that violation of consent onto me regardless of how i actually describe the event because they conflate consent with healthy sex, so any unhealthy sex must be a violation of consent, and that's just not how it always works.

i feel like discussions around sexual assault tend to be so incredibly black and white, which makes sense because the people participating in them are traumatized! it's hard to have nuance when you're traumatized! but i think it's still important to have these conversations because there have been times where i was in spaces specifically for survivors and was told that what happened to me wasn't abuse because i consented, and it was "insensitive" to compare it to "actual rape" (which i also experienced from the same ex). in order to really heal, we need to be able to have these tough conversations, because i promise they're worth it.

[https-mi1zu]

SO UHM HERES CHAPTER THREE?? (I feel like I kinda left out on a lot on chapter 2 😓)

WARNINGS: still nothing :p

CHAPTER THREE: I should've stayed at home.

Forty minutes passed before the bell rang. Dismissal, finally I was free to go home. 

“June, could I talk to you outside for a minute?” I heard Miss Elane say amidst the classroom full of people chatting about what their gonna do later. I just nodded as Miss Elane pulled me outside of the classroom, telling my class advisor that she was gonna borrow me for a few minutes. We sat down at a nearby bench just outside my classroom.

”I didn’t see you and Mars today, was she absent?” She asked me. “yes miss, she sprained her ankle yesterday” I replied, my hands neatly folded on my lap. “oh, well tell her I said get well soon dear.” Miss Elane patted my shoulder. I didn't like that, but when I looked at her wrinkled face, there was a slight smile. Was she glad that Mars was absent? What kind of teacher is glad that one of her students was absent because of a sprained ankle?

”So how was school today, notice anything different about it?” She asked me, still with that creepy smile plastered on her face. “no miss, nothing different miss.” I replied, shuffling ever so slightly away from her. “Okay well, I won't keep you for long  Juno.” “hm?” I didn't hear what she said.  she had already gotten up and was walking away. Maybe she meant someone else and mistaken me for them, either way, I was happy to be dismissed. 

I walked back inside my classroom, feeling the heat from the room hit my face. Everyone already had their backpacks and lunch boxes on their desks. Walking over to my locker, I pulled out my backpack. It looked like something an adventurer would use for a quest. I carried both my bags to my desk, quickly shoving my books in it since I wanted to leave early. My glasses got a little foggy in the process so I wiped them before the class advisors told everyone to stand up so we could pray and leave. After praying, I already saw a few of my classmates leave the classroom to go to the gates they were being picked up from. I quickly closed my backpack and grabbed my lunch box before hurrying to the door.

I wasn't in a hurry, I just wanted to leave already since today was boring and slow. I needed a nap.

Walking was a form to calm down my mind if I had extra energy. I liked walking, more specifically walking with Mars. She would tell me a lot of things, like a comic she read or a band she found out about. Mars was my best friend,  I cared for her as if she was my sister. Every birthday or Christmas I’d always go out of my way to get her a good gift, like a bracelet or a plush I knew she liked. She would always say that I didn't need to but I wanted to. Even if it wasn’t a birthday or any event in general, I’d still buy her things. Miss Fiore said it's a good and bad habit, good because I care for my friend deeply and bad because I needed to buy myself stuff too.

The hallways were loud, really loud. It was bustling with people and kids walking or running around. Even at gate three, there were backpacks and lunch boxes scattered everywhere. I watched my step, making sure I didn't step on any backpacks, lunch boxes or children’s hands. I finally found a spot to sit, it was open with not a lot of bags or children. I placed my heavy bag in a corner and sat down. I brought out my notebook to sketch again. Flipping through the pages of various drawings, I found one that was clean. I decided to draw Persephone again, trying to remember the details I put in my artwork from earlier.

I pulled out my pencil case and my headphones so I could draw in silence without being interrupted. 

Time seemed to pass faster then I expected, almost half of my classmates and children were already gone. I was being picked up by my father. Maybe he had work to do, that's why it was already late. I didn't mind though, I liked being in school, in silence specifically. It meant I could walk around the place, with no one yapping right next to me or in front.

But for now, I just spent that time drawing peacefully. I watched as more students left, some parents and ates were standing around waiting for their kids or teenagers to come to them. 

Amidst the crowd, it grew more silent as more and more students left to go home. After a bit more, I finished the drawing, though it looked more different than what I made in art class.

I drew Persephone wearing a flowing white Grecian-inspired gown with a draped bodice and a cinched waist. It had features, it was delicate with shoulder straps and a flowing cape-like overlay. It also had a belt with intricate detailing which adds to her elegant look. For her hair, I drew it sleek, with a flowy cascade of deep waves, it looked flowy, reaching down to her chest. It didn't look as pretty as the one I drew in art class, but it looked pretty enough. ‘I should show this to Miss Fiore’ I thought, finally getting up from my corner.

I stretched my arms as I unplugged my headphones from my device. I left right after I grabbed my notebook to go to the faculty to show Miss Fiore my drawing. I liked showing people what I drew. The walk to the building where my classroom is, it was quiet, except for a few lingering conversations, which were a lot quieter compared to earlier when school started. 

As I went up the stairs, I caught a glimpse of Miss Fiore walking down the stairs, talking with another teacher, Miss Santos. They were speaking in hushed tones, making it hard to overhear their conversation. As I went up another step, Miss Fiore spotted me. She smiled at me, stopping to wave. “Hello anak, how was your day so far?” Miss Fiore asked.

“It was slow and boring but I got through it!” I exclaimed, my tone was a little bit too excited. Miss Fiore was my favourite teacher, after all, she would call me ‘anak’, (which meant child in Tagalog.) It filled me with comfort anytime she would call me that.

After a while, Miss Santos walked away from the both of us, saying that she had a meeting with another teacher. I showed Miss Fiore my drawing of Persephone, she smiled at it saying that I was good. I smiled back, I liked getting small bits of praise. We walked around the school, talking about the small things that happened today. Miss Fiore was just listening to me intently as if she was my mom. 

We walked for thirty minutes or so, it was already 4:30 in the evening and my dad wasn't there yet. “Are you hungry, anak?” Miss Fiore inquired, once we were at gate three. I nodded since I didn’t eat a filling lunch. Miss Fiore offered to order for the both of us, I declined at first because then I’d have to pay her back, but she said it was her treat. She pulled out her phone and started to make an order online while I put my notebook back in my bag. We both sat there, still talking about small bits of what happened today.

Ten or more minutes passed, Miss Fiore’s phone vibrated, indicating she had gotten an alert from the driver that our food was there. She told me to wait at the gate while she went to the other gate to get the food. I just nodded and sat back down in my corner.

[flowers-of-io]

I *can* tell you why Neztea: When his brother Set cut him up into pieces after killing him, Osiris' wife Isis assembled all the pieces and wrapped his body up, enabling him to return to life.

I *can't* tell you why it was Mithrax and us collecting the bits of Nezarec instead of Saint. I *can't* tell you why it was bits of Nezzy in the canopic jars instead of bits of Osiris himself.

I *can* tell you we went through the whole song and dance of Osiris being functionally dead and then functionally revived, as tedious as it may have been, simply because that's the myth of Osiris and that's what Bungie does.

Full disclosure: I'm still perplexed about why it was Nez brew as well, but I personally call as of yet unclear Savathûn shenanigans. One of the biggest motifs associated with her specifically is tea and teacups. Don't believe me? Go do a search on ishtar. Saint's got his suspicious mystery teacup. You know what bone china is made from? Literal bones.

(There's also the Calix Summus emblem, which once again points us back towards the hive and their alchemy and nezzy (with the pyramid line thingy coming out of the cup). Calix = cup, but calix also = calx, one of the products of calcination (if that doesn't ring a bell, look back at the context of the calcified fragments). Summus here probably means something like key or paramount, so... the most importantest cup. Check out the secondary part of them emblem! That's a syzygy!)

If I sound like a lunatic, well... that's fine. The fun thing about Destiny lore is that it *does* reward you for putting in legwork to understand the mythologies and theologies and philosophies it draws from, even if you sound like a maniac to most people.

If you're really curious and want to figure out what happened or is going to happen with Osiris, I'd start looking into the history of Osirian cults and their practices. You might find absolutely fuck all, but you might also find something interesting. I'd do it myself, but I'm balls deep in Hive names and writing systems for the foreseeable future. Oh, and keep an eye on Saint. I'm still not convinced he's gonna make it all the way to the end based on what we know about the story of the phoenix and the turtle dove pigeon

Last thing: If a garden grows in both directions and that garden is a metaphor for the story told in a parable, then the story probably requires as much tending in the past as it does the present.

Good luck, I love you, have fun, pirate books if you have to, and keep your third eye wide fucking open.

(A reply to this post)

First of all, I'm so sorry for missing this message somehow. I've been having issues with not getting (or overlooking?) notifications about new asks and it's driving me a little mad by now.

(Putting the rest under a read more, because it's A LOT)

Second of all, I feel so stupid lmao. Of COURSE it's the Osiris myth eh? I genuinely didn't make the connection AT ALL, despite noticing the damn canoptic jars and being like, huh, interesting! And then my brain didn't follow on it ever. What probably threw me off is what you mention, the fact it was Misraaks and us, and not Saint, collecting the pieces, and that these weren't even Osiris' pieces to begin with. And besides, he wasn't even dead.

There's quite a mix of symbolism in the whole thing here, overall? Nezarec is the Nightmares guy, which makes sense in terms of him being the cure for a guy stuck in a coma--but this acknowledges Osiris' status as *asleep*, not dead, which then throws off the whole myth thing. And remember that one piece of Nezarec is, or is in, the Delicate Tomb--and that gun is very long-time nuclear waste warnings-coded, y'know, the whole "This is not a place of honour" thing. "The danger within is repulsive to us" is as far as you could go referencing to "What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us" while not quoting it verbatim. (And also the Delicate Tomb states "within" because the danger--Nezarec--is literally inside the gun.) The name of the catalyst quest, The Form of the Danger, is a direct quote.

What interests me is the thought process Misraaks and Eido must've gone through to arrive at the conclusion that they should brew this ancient corpse and serve it as tea, but okay, let's suspend our disbelief and say they just studied the remains for a long time (which they did) and within the context of Nezarec being the Nightmares dude, it made some sense.

It's also really funny of Savathûn making *that* the cure for the coma, and very 5D chess for her. She could have reasonably assumed the Witness would go looking for Nezarec's remains when shit hit the fan, in order to have its powerful Disciple back; though how it wanted to revive him I'm not sure, seeing as it was the Traveler's laser beam that inadvertently did the job. But then of course we Guardians would try to stop it, and most likely succeeded, and once Nez's remains were in our hands, we'd obviously study them. And so we'd find the cure. It's so brilliant and so, so unserious.

And yeah, her and tea!!! I'm not sure how to connect Saint's teacup (if you mean the one from Quintessence) here, but "Dûl Incaru serves you poison in a fine tea set of Ahamkara bone" from Truth to Power is iconic. *Ahamkara* bone china!!

You're also so big brained about Calix Summus because I literally didn't know this emblem existed. (For the record, it was included in the January 2024 Prime Gaming bundle.) And yeah if we interpret the graphic as planets and orbits, that is indeed a syzygy... And yeah. Calcified fragments. Gosh this rabbit hole runs so deep.

Bro I NEED to know about what you're cooking regarding Hive names and writing systems!!!!! Your brain is so big and I want to pick it about everything lol.

Oh, I never interpreted the garden growing in both directions as a metaphor for the story told in a parable, but rather the paracausal forces' ability to change past and future + the Black Garden being a four-dimensional thing where space is time, but. BUT. The thing about parables and myths is they bend time, in a way. They connect the past to the present, and so by extension the future. Time there is always circular; they keep happening over and over, regardless of linear history. They aren't physically *real*, but they are true. (Also paging @svedupelle here bc I know he'll be interested.)

Thank you!!! My third eye is so open it's like half of my forehead now.

[wings-of-flying]

(spoilers for episode 114 and the black sea stuff in general)

who is the grandberry traitor?

the question isn't necessarily accurate as the traitor could be from a recruited pirate crew, like jaz's crew. however, the point still stands

grizzly has said no one's guessed exactly what will happen (whether that's about the plot in general or this specific thing isn't clear to me) which i'm going to assume means neither caspian, marshal john and rudith are the traitor

who does that leave? well, of the characters we know, not many. it could be lizzie, which would be interesting and she's got a possible motive plus doesn't approve of the black rose pirates. but...that doesn't seem likely. why would a spy recruit new pirates? why would a spy be so adamant in starting a war? there could be a reason, but we're working with ockham's razor here. the easiest solution is probably true

it could be a doppelganger of one of these known characters, which would be cool as fuck and difficult to guess, but i'm working on the assumption that whatever experiments are happening in the black sea's navy base aren't being used on a wide scale yet. this is an assumption that could be proven false, but it's what i'm going with for this. otherwise it's near impossible to guess who's the traitor. again, ockham's razor. easier solution

my evidence for this is that doppelgilly wasn't exactly perfect, yk. he didn't have to be, for his purpose of hunting down the intruders, but either they didn't have time to embue him with all gill's memories (possible, even likely) or they aren't able to do that yet (what i'm assuming is true)

so. lizzie probably isn't a doppelganger. no one who's well acquainted with either lizzie or the albatrio are likely doppelgangers. they wouldn't have the memories to prove themselves real

but what about someone who doesn't have any long standing connections (and therefore memories) with the albatrio (and lizzie)? they wouldn't need to be a perfect copy of themselves. they could just be a new person. no one would know

now this is where i'm gonna go a bit wild. because the previous paragraph makes sense to me. but there's also another solution. one which may be dumb but again. ockham's razor. it's simpler? maybe? (also this is an 'as i'm writing this' thought so bear with)

who do we know who's interacted very few times with the albatrio (and lizzie) and has recently become a pirate with a crew seemingly from nowhere? who's acted inconsistently with their previous iteration, but not enough to spark any questions? after all, it's possible grizzly just forgot that chip's marriage got annulled. it's possible that chip's wife also forgot this

that's right you fucks (/affectionate) i'm talking about amanda fucking rinn! my girl's been snatched and made into a doppelganger!

is this probably right? no. absolutely not. i'll shit myself if it is. but is it thought provoking? again no not really. but i'm putting it out there so that if it happens i can say I TOLD YOU SO! and if it doesn't i can play this off as a joke

anyway, it's probably a doppelganger. i mean, the concept of a traitor was released in the same episode gill got doppeled, so they're probably linked

[mayullla]

I probably should have said something rather than disappear for 2 to 3 months only to show up in panic mode... I am taking a long break or hiatus not cause I am busy or anything I am just tired to be honest. Kept telling myself that short breaks from tumblr would work but it never really did unfortunately. Not gonna go into the specifics short reason is that I burned myself out enough that even opening tumblr is stressful. I am always thinking about when I could post this next fic even tho I told myself that i would relax a little TvT

It is nothing personal really, just tired and yeah. I might come back but I know saying that would only put the pressure back up again. So I am just gonna say that I am still on break, when I come back to posting writing here I don't know. I am still here if someone sends an ask I will reply and I am still writing. When it comes to posting stuff dunno maybe after 4 months or maybe next year again I am still alive and I will talk about some stuff that I am currently writing.

But if I am gonna come back, I am gonna start with a clean slate so I am going to delete all the ask. Another one of my pressure is the fact that I have ask that I always wanted to reply but just lost interest after so long. I had so many plans and so many things that I wanted to finish heck the event that I did over a year ago I have yet to finish. I placed so much stuff on my shoulders and bit off more than I could chew. I do apologize really that I wasn't able to finish everything that I promised. Sorry but at the same time thank you so much for all your support really.

Again still in tumblr just not active outside checking notifications. But we shall see what happens later I guess!

[nights-nonsensical-ramblings]

I wish my brain wasn't so convinced everyone is just putting up with me and is happier when im not around. Like I've had a friend in the past who literally every singe day promised to meet at a specific spot at lunch and never showed up, then on the bus home they told me they forgot and when i eventually decided to go looking i found them with a large group all laughing and having fun, and again they forgot, so there is precedent there. (I didn't try joining the group cuz something in my brain tells me that if a friend goes somewhere else of course they dont want that annoying person following them and if they wanted anything to do with me they would've gone to the old place or whatever) And after I found out that my former best friend had been doing a bad thing i went silent to try and process it and even though we were messaging that very morning they never once tried to contact or question where i went. so i guess that means If i falter in a relationship for even a moment im gonna be written off.

I try so hard to make stuff so it gives people a reason to stick around, try to make my stuff in ways i know they like, remove things they dont like or even its just lower on their preferences but now cuz of how damn guilty i feel interacting with a thing i know a friend doesn't like. Hell theres this song my old friends used to clown on all the time and i liked it, but i dont know how much i like it cuz of how wrong i felt finding some level of enjoyment in it, and even though its been years and im not friends with these people anymore i feel i have to logically justify why i like it even just to myself, And its not like they did anything to me, its all my dumb brain.

I guess it makes sense. I've grown up with people who would yell at me for saying the letter 'H' and 'Z' wrong or 'hey the thing you cooked is making us feel sick' got called ungrateful cause 'at least i cooked' or 'hey what time will you be picking me up' also caused flying off the handle. So yeah, makes sense that i'd feel like there was a wrong way to interact, and if i get it wrong the other person will be mad at me and would even less want to be around me.

[theadventurerslog]

Quest For Glory IV: Shadows of Darkness | Part 7

The Adventurer's Log

Starting a new day but before I get into that I wanted to 'regroup' in both going over what I do know and then a quick list of tasks I still need to do because things have certainly been thinging!

Information and involved parties I'm aware of so far:

The Chernovy Cult were fought by Piotyr and Erana outside the Dark One's cave where I woke up. They presumably worshipped the Dark One. Erana sacrificed herself. Piotyr brought her staff back to the town of Mordavia. Staff is protecting the town.

Piotyr is Dmitri the Burgomeister's grandfather.

There's a monastery in town related to or created by the cult.

The Borgovs used to be in charge at the castle but no more.

There's a new Master at the Castle who's a she going by the guards at the castle.

We have Katrina - unknown motives - lurking around and sort of helping me but also maybe just using and manipulating me. Either way I'm feeling manipulated. She could be the Master?

We have Ad Avis the probable vampire. Don't know what his goal is beyond probably some revenge. Maybe he wants to revive the Dark One. That cave is gonna matter again after all.

I had a dream that may or may not have been those two talking about me and plotting.

We have Tanya the innkeepers' daughter taken to the castle by some kind of monster. The guards also referenced a kid, so that's likely her.

And fairies judging my encounter with the fountain also want me doing things. Possibly just cleaning up all this mess for them? Again unknown motive.

And now Erasmus and Fenrus if I'm right about it being them were also trying to check in on me, but I imagine that was more of trying to find me what with the whole disappearing thing at the end of the last game.

Trying to connect threads but they're not quite connecting yet.

I also wanted to list out what I still need to accomplish:

Talk to Nikolai about Anna

Find some kind of hat for Bonehead so I can see Baba Yaga

Fix the Gnome's humour, sigh, but need to see Baba Yaga for that

Figure out the answer for Leshy's berry bush riddle

Figure out how to actually talk to the gypsies for the help I was told they could give. Maybe the doll will help?

Open and check out the secret area under the Monastery

Visit the Domovoi in the Burgomeister's place if possible (me being hopeful. Please?)

See the Rusalka again. I have no specific reason to, but it's been a bit and she might have more info. And she did want me to visit.

I decided my initial goals for the day, aside from a quick check on all town NPCs as usual, would be to talk to Nikolai and then stop being a coward and check out the secret area of the Monastery. I wasn't getting anymore info about it anyway, so just go for it.

Once I stepped out of the inn the Burgomeister talked to me to tell me the werewolf threat had ended.

I thought he'd already released the prisoner; it had sounded like it, but maybe not? That'd explain why he wasn't at the camp when I tried before.

I greeted him even though we just talked but it's fun and I got a new response: "You are a very polite person. Perhaps I should learn some manners from you for dealing with strangers." I'm honestly not sure if he's being sincere or just a little sarcastic.

He was glad the Igor situation was resolved and he can sleep better not worrying about the prisoner escaping or being killed. The prisoner returned to the camp.

And he sort of praised me. Kind of.

It started well anyway. I think he's trying! He was also feeling more relaxed now he doesn't have to worry about that 'annoying stranger' getting into trouble as I've proven myself capable. For him that's warming up to me, I think! I'll take it!

Do you know you have a Domovoi with you now, sir? Do you? I want to see if he's there at night but I don't know if I'll even be allowed in...

OIga next. She was still determined to think the gypsy is a werewolf and will eat them...

Slow road I guess...

I went to see my pal Igor. He ran into a woman that sounded like Katrina outside town.

She quickly left after he attempted some...flirting? Graveyard humour? A blend of the two... 'light his pyre anytime'. She wasn't impressed and left. She just doesn't have taste clearly.

Also maybe some new information about the Borgovs.

I'm not sure if I knew the last Boyar's body hasn't been found. Missing bodies are never a good thing.

Nikolai next... I told him I'd found her and tried to explain she was dead, but I'm not sure he was really getting it...

He headed off alone to find her. I tried to follow, but she doesn't appear during the day so I'm not sure there even is anything I could do at this point and there was no sign of him. I decided to try again at night.

I headed back to town and ran into the gypsy. He thanked me for my help. He also said they weren't werewolves--don't believe the lies of the townsfolk. He invited me to come to their camp sometime.

Then he reiterated that they're not werewolves--they're shapechangers. Before promptly turning into a werewolf and leaving. So can't entirely blame the villagers here for thinking there are werewolves. They're still being racist though.

I did want to visit the camp, but first a quick stop by Dr. Cranium because I forgot to visit him before Nikolai. And then the monastery...

Dr. Cranium made progress with his Frankie after some recalibration on the M.E.S.S. He got the 'first traces of independent muscular coordination'. Frankie waved at me from under the sheet.

While I got to witness true genius at work -- Cranium's words.

I had the opportunity to tell him about Tarna.

Too primitive AND you want to meet Salim? Losing some points here Dr.

He was otherwise pretty focused on the Frankie experiment now. He'd named Frankie after one of his colleagues who'd done some preliminary research into tissue reanimation. He's sure his success will make him one of the premier researchers at this year's Scientific Ball.

Good luck I guess.

Monastery time...

The hearth had secret passage written all over it and one of the prongs? Holder of something? I don't know what they are but side pillar things was something I could interact with. The wall decoration wiggled threateningly.

Obviously I tried again for the death.

Hector Hexapod...

The Domovoi said to defeat or feed the guardian. I tried one of my sandwiches but the hexapod only waved its tentacles at it--"Maybe it's allergic to avocado?"

Candy failed. Garlic, to my slight surprise, worked though.

Happy Hector the hexapod's hunger satiated by garlic.

I opened the secret passage and went down to the basement.

The description further hammered home the spookiness with a cold feeling and chills and a musty odor of mold and mildew mingled with a sickeningly sweet smell of decaying flesh. "Welcome to your nightmare." Said very ominously.

Time to look around.

I didn't look around for long before I found the "Cask of Amon Tillado" Heh. Had to get that in here, huh? "It is rumored to provide strange and mystical visions to those who taste freely of its contents." It was dripping red liquid. Of course I took a taste.

Once again Cinder passed out after partaking of mysterious liquid. This is gonna turn into a trend. I was given a vision of a mountain that grew darker. The mountain split open revealing a large demonic creature.

The Dark One according to the description I got of the vision after waking up.

But it hasn't happened yet!

Once I was up, a scroll formed where the liquid had been dripping.

The "Ritual of the Blood". I can't read it and I'm not sure who could, but that'll be for later anyway.

There was a rolltop desk that was locked. I opened it with my spell. From a safe distance. There was a brief cloud of poison gas, but that dissipated quickly and I was able to find the diary of Amon Tillado. "Boy, was this guy whacko!" It had information about the Dark One Rituals.

First Ritual: "placed within the Mad Monk's Tombstone, there to be forever guarded by followers."

Not sure where that is, but the mad monks have been talked about. I might just need to go review some information.

Second: placed in the 'Stone of Squids' and revealed by the light of a dead child's soul.

That may be the pillar I knocked down near the cave? A dead child's soul though...

Another: placed in the hollow of the Hangman's Tree and guarded by the spirit of the dead.

That'd be the tree near Baba Yaga's hut. The Burgomeister mentioned it too when asking about Mordavia (or rumours, one of the two) in general.

Blood Ritual: concealed magically within the Monastery and "only he who willingly seeks dark visions shall find it."

Yeah, I, uh, found that already.

Mouth Ritual: placed in the Great Arch itself, under the Dark One's Sign.

Probably the arch outside the Cave at the start of the game?

Heart Ritual: given to someone name Gregor for safe keeping. There was another note here in someone else's handwriting "Gregor is missing in the forest and probably dead -- yet where is the Heart Ritual?"

No idea about that one.

Now I'm not sure why I'd want to collect these. Keep them from the evil I guess? Use them myself to prevent something or open an area to prevent something?

Continuing in my exploration this statue got no respect.

It's like an octopus centaur. An octotaur.

There was the symbol on the back wall and the alter too.

The symbol is the sign of the Dark One, but no idea what the letters might be for that starts at A.

The book is the Necrophilicon. I tried using it, by which I mean I tried to use the symbol but the game took it as the book. The book rose up and squished me between its pages.

Eaten by a book. Well, bitten anyway.

I couldn't find anything else to do down there. I even tried to be a menace with my Trigger spell, but no such luck. Back into the fresh air.

I had time to kill until night, so I decided to visit the Rusalka and see if there was anything new there and then go to the gypsy camp.

She did have some new info for me. She warned me about the grasping hands and the Will o' wisps in the swamp. You'll be safe from the grasping hands if you stick to the grassy areas.

She made mention of some kind of tomb or very magical pillar over there. It's guarded by strange guards she thinks were once human, but she doesn't think or dead or undead.

Just scary. Maybe that's where the first ritual is? Since that and the heart one are the two I'm drawing a total blank on right now. Thank you Rusalka! Sorry it took me so long to come back to visit.

Gypsy camp next. I found my way there so smoothly and not a single encounter. I'm learning this map even on my own!

They were much friendlier this time. He welcomed me right in.

And he took me to meet their leader.

She was also a fortune-teller. And she taught me a spell that would protect me from undead, Aura. I'll be very glad to have that no doubt. Maybe it'll protect me from that wraith in the castle that was slaughtering me when I finally do go back there.

Lots of options but I started with greeting--I'm very polite!--and telling them my name.

A good strong name? Hear that? Cinder Win is a strong name!

The guy I rescued is Davey, though he also has a true name but those should only be given with great care. In a place full of fairies and magic? Yeah!

I told her about how I got here and she thinks I ended up in that dark cave due to a summoning spell that went wrong as that cave has been interfering with all magic around the area. But then who did summon me and why...

I also told her about the gnome and she told me Baba Yaga's hut was blocked by magic which I already knew. I need that hat or equivalent for Bonehead. She also added when I asked about Baba Yaga that her only weakness was her love of food so I'm sure that's gonna come up.

The valley is a place of magic where many are drawn to. She talked about Erana but all things I know now. She refused to talk about the Dark Ones and hoped I'd never have cause to deal with them. Well.

I asked about werewolves. They're shapeshifters. Werewolves are myth--they're not tied to phases of the moon. She's being more open with me as she knows my actions could affect them all.

With a little money I was able to ask for a card reading which resulted in some information about four different people and their possible influences:

A woman from the past with power but used selfishly and only cares for her own wants or how she influences others. She'll be willing to aid me if I could satisfy her needs and vanity as long as there's no effort required on her part. Baba Yaga maybe?

A dangerous old man who can't be trusted or underestimated. Influenced by black magic. Has faced unexpected failure of some sort. Evil and bears me ill-will but prevented from getting revenge. For now. If he gains his freedom he'll seek to destroy anything standing between his goal and himself. Ad Avis?

A woman of wisdom and love, kind, generous and virtuous. In touch with her magical nature. Gentle and loving but holding a great strength. Generates hope and help through her actions. Erana...?

And finally a woman of wit and skill but someone who's suffered through terrible hardship and is marked by her suffering. Faces her sorrows bravely but with deep loneliness. A deceiver, or is deceived by her own beliefs. Also has a magical nature which is the strength that sustains her. Either surrounded by false friends or seeks to betray me herself. She is a victim or the villainess. That's vague and flip floppy but I'm guessing Katrina for now.

And for myself... the Void. Which she wouldn't speak of and needed to meditate on its meaning. That's not alarming at all.

Once I left the wagon, I was invited to eat and party with them. I was given a warm welcome and a stew without garlic!

There was dancing and finally sleep.

The dancer turned into a wolf...

Wolf hug? We'll just go with that.

Then I woke up the next morning to an empty camp. I assume they all wandered off for now. All well and good but that did kill my night when I had stuff to do at night, so I guess I have more things to find to do during the day while I wait for another night. Possibly go ritual hunting. Maybe I'll find a hat. I haven't really touched the swamp, so I could go explore that next time.

[hamliet]

Love your blog, Hamliet and also your take on theology. What do you think about Jezebel and Vashti? Now, as Christian myself, I've been told since childhood to not grow up to be like both queens above but become like Eshter and Ruth. But as I grew older, I started to think differenly of those two queens. I grew to like their characters and think they are more interesting than Eshter and Ruth (not that I think badly of the later, I also like them).

What do you think?

Hi! Thank you for this ask; I love talking about Biblical narrative!

To start with, I'm gonna chat about Vashti-Esther, and Jezebel, under the cut. But first I'm gonna go to bat for my girl Ruth, because she is so not the "good girl" modern Christians depict her as. Her story is so much more complex, and there's a reason a lot of modern churches ignore talking about the Jewish context.

Ruth: Brave, Bold, Thirsty

Ruth is a go-getter. Ruth didn't patiently wait like a meek girl. Ruth took her destiny into her own hands--with her mother-in-law's guidance.

See, when Ruth goes to lie down with Boaz at night and uncovers his "feet," she didn't uncover his feet. Feet is a euphemism. It is indisputably his penis.

Like, Christians rarely talk about this because they don't want to acknowledge it because it goes against their image of Ruth. But they also don't have a counter for it because it factually is Ruth, y'know, having agency.

So, Ruth is trying to seduce Boaz, because she knows he likes her. And being crafty about it, because if someone catches her there, Boaz (being an honorable man which she already knows he is), even if they haven't had sex he'll have to marry her because everyone will think they have. Genius.

And despite people trying to say Boaz and Ruth are too honorable so clearly it was just about marriage and nor her actually attempting to initiate premarital sex, the Bible expressly has another widow called honorable for initiating premarital sex that actually happens (with her father-in-law no less) specifically to ensure her survival when she would else wise have been left childless and abandoned. tl;dr: Ruth was attempting to seduce Boaz. That's the obvious meaning of this, and whoever wrote the story wasn't obsessed with getting the audiece to think otherwise.

Thematically, also, Ruth going outside of the norms of what is considered moral (via asking for sex before marriage, even if there is an understanding that sex would lead to marriage) is kind of a major tie-in with the other aspect of Ruth's story: she's a foreigner. The Law frowns on marrying foreigners for the most part. Yet, by going outside the normal parameters, they get King David and later, for Christians, Jesus himself.

Ruth left her homeland after losing her husband and stuck with her mother-in-law, knowing that doing so meant that she had no future (she would need children to provide for her in her old age; as a foreigner, she likely wouldn't be able to marry again and have kids. But she went with Naomi so that Naomi wouldn't be alone, because she could ensure Naomi had someone to take care of her at the very least, without any hope for herself).

But when she saw a chance to secure her future, she took it. And Naomi encouraged her to do so. Ruth is brave, and smart, and kind. And Boaz is also a good man who not only helped Ruth, but didn't take advantage of her desperation on the threshing room floor. He didn't have sex with her, and he forbade others from talking about her coming there. Instead he went about it the honorable and human-affirming way--marrying Ruth according to traditional cultural customs, at the city gates.

In other words, Boaz said this isn't going to be a shameful, backroom thing. He says, I'm going to make it public, because I'm proud to have you as my wife.

Honestly, healthiest couple in all of Scripture.

Others below!

Esther and Vashti: Bringing Good from Bad

Esther and Vashti I see as a story about making the best of a terrible situation. Vashti deserves no hate, and I do see Christians coming around to that as well. I mean, her husband essentially said come parade yourself naked in front of all my drunk friends. Sounds like he wanted an orgy, or at the very least public sex with her. And she said no, like she should have. King, you're gross. Vashti did nothing wrong.

But Ahasuerus is kinda portrayed like a... very passionate but not very wise person throughout the story. So not really surprising. But the point also is that while he doesn't want to acknowledge his stupidity or allow a woman to counter his authority, he does eventually not only pardon Esther when she flouts his authority by entering without permission, but comes up with a counter to his previously issued decree to slaughter the Jews. A king can't go back on his word, but he can give others power to counter it when he's wrong. Which is kind of the main theme--making the best out of a shitty situation.

Esther is then taken from everyone she's ever known and forced to become a concubine wherein most of the girls around her will be used once, probably not get pregnant, and live the rest of their lives alone and untouched in the king's harem. But Esther, like Ruth, is clever. She asks for advice from the eunuchs to endear herself to the king because she wants more than a life of luxury and loneliness. Because of her attempts to save herself from a fate that, on the surface, isn't nearly as terrible as what Ruth was facing but is still emotionally devastating, she ends in a perfect position to save all of her people from annihilation.

Jezebel (and Athaliah): A Critique of Power

Jezebel... well, she's kind of portrayed as vain and cruel. Plus she murders some people whenever they flout her authority. So she's not like, a morally awesome person.

That said, I always felt sorry for her. She also clearly wanted power and lived in a society where women had little say and little power, even as queen, which is probably why she lashes out so brutally at those who threaten her power and position--the vineyard owner, the prophets, etc.*

But instead of Jezebel being seen as a sign for how marriages to foreigners is a way of corrupting the Israelites with foreign gods, I wonder whether the story would be different if people had treated Jezebel more of as a potential Ruth, as a human being, instead of just a symbol of political power.

Because that's what she was--her marriage is a symbol of power for King Ahab and for her father. I see her corruption and cruelty as a condemnation far more of what happens when we focus on gaining political power than what happens when we marry the wrong person or whatnot. And also, like, maybe the way women were treated may have led to her desperation for power. Just maybe.

Along those lines, I also wonder if the prophets had been less condemning of her as a person and more corrective (and if her husband wasn't himself such a spineless meatbrain), if her story might have been more of an Esther's.

But patriarchy is far more interested in condemning Jezebel as a whore despite like, there being no record of that, rather than in, like, examining their own human desire for control and political power and how that can corrupt (but also! doesn't! have! to! see Esther).

*Like, Jezebel's flaw being her focus on power is very clear not just in her actions but her daughter Athaliah's--Athaliah marries the king of Judah and then massacres all his sons to take the crown for herself, with only one son, a baby, surviving thanks to a princess named Jehoshabeath, who was married to the chief priest, smuggling him out. Later on there's a coup and Joash, the son, reclaims his father's throne. Yes, the classic fantasy trope of secret son reclaiming a father's throne is partially Biblically based.

[theroundbartable]

If you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them?

Ooooooh, that is a very good question.

On my ao3 count, I currently have 125 published works. 3 of them are works in progress, one of them is discontinued. (I have a rather good publish - actually finishing ratio.)

I'm gonna list a few but in no particular order. It's just my personal highlights. For a full fic list, you can find my stories on ao3, aka, HERE.

No... just no (Merthur)

For some reason, out of all of my fics, this one is the most popular (so far). The idea was that Merlin is caught doing magic and just thinks: Lol, I'm Emrys, whatcha gonna do? kill me? I'm immortal, lmao. The inspiration was that I just wanted Merlin to carry on with his life when Uther tries to kill him and fails every time.

Connecting the dots (Merthur)

While this one doesn't have the best world building, it was definitely the most fun to write. The brainstorming had me laughing at work like an insane mad man. I loved working on this one, it made me very happy. The premise is that the knights make up stories to explain the strange things that happen in Camelot. It's a game, like D&D and they accidentally end up being right. Somehow I turned Gwaine into a god and the whole D&D game into a religion were people get babtized when you put them in the stocks. It makes no sense but it's so absurd that it's funny again XD

Chosen (Merthur)

This one is depressing but it marks a certain change in my writing style. When I wrote this, or rather, AFTER I wrote this, I swore to myself to only ever write happy endings again. This one really hurts, so I wouldn't advise to read it ;)

I realised how my writing influences my own mood and what I needed to do to keep myself happy. And that making myself happy is a good thing!

Clockroom (Merthur)

This is my oldest ongoing project that requires an enormous amount of work. Because of historical research, working with literal transcripts of the episodes, and because it's timetravel and time travel is IMPOSSIBLE to write... at least well... at this length.

Reversed (Merthur)

The premise is that everyone knows Merlin has magic - except Merlin. Before I wrote this, I actually had writers block, so I told myself: You always think backwards. How can you make BBC Merlin backwards? This was the result.

And I really think that this is one of the best fics I've ever written. Merlin's stubbornness and the way magic works in this fic have really influenced later one shots, but this one is very special to me because it wasn't meant to turn out as deep as it has.

The magic realm (Merthur)

Likely my best world buidling concept, challenged only by Dragon island. Well except for Incarnation but that's a novel I'm working on, not a fic. The idea is that the day Merlin loses his magic, Arthur is ready to turn to magic for help. Gaius sends them into the magic realm to learn magic there. Only that Merlin IS magic and so everything in there is connected to him in some way. I loved how the characters turned out and how magic is seen, depending on who is looking at them.

Mirror of truth (Merthur)

This one was an accident, really. Originally, Merlin was meant to be Camelot's champion, but then I thought about borders and how would the mirror know how to show Merlin and I got so deep into it that I eventually realised that Merlin couldn't be Camelot's champion at all. It was mind blowing. As I believe it is to you when you read the summary:

Every ten years or so a tournament is held between all the five kingdoms. In which one (strongest of the kingdom) sorcerer is chosen as a representative of their king/queen/crown bearer. The monarchs, however, do not choose the sorcerer for themselves, which Arthur is thankful for, since magic is still banned in Camelot. Instead, they are chosen by the mirror of truth. It shows the face of the strongest sorcerer in said lands, so Arthur can reach out to them. When the mirror finally chooses the participants, Camelot's champion is......... well i mean, who is the strongest magic user in Camelot? Exactly! It's Morgana. After all, Merlin was born in Cendred's kingdom.

8. The eternal suffering (Leon & George)

This one is special because it's not about Merthur. This is a fic that marks me as one of the two first people within this fandom who wrote Leon & (servant) George fanfics. And I am very proud to have coinvented this ship (although I'm more inclined towards them being entirely platonic). The idea was that I saw many parallels between Leon's and George's character and started imagining them complaining about their jobs to each other.

9. Everything I do, I do for you. (Merthur)

This one isn't even good. The reason this one is dear to me, is because of how much honesty and truth I put into these words. It was inspired by real life and I should warn you before you read it. It's a bit heavy. This one and Regent have the same/ similar orgigins and themes and may be the most painful for me personally to revisit.

10. Haunted (Merthur)

The ghost!Arthur Au no one asked for. It switches between funny moments and heartbreaking pasts and I think it's one of my better paced and thought through fics.

I just often keep wondering what Arthur does in Avalon and then I sometimes wonder, what if he didn't go there at all?

11. Free Delivery (Merthur)

This one is definitely one of my better thought through fics. I made notes and everything! Haha XD This one was inspired by DIrty Laundry, THE Klance fanfiction. I was rereading it and it somehow - I dunno - developed into this fic.

12. The Joker (Klance)

I can't believe how old this one is. Personally, I liked Alternative realities better, but people keep commenting on this one more. And well... comments inspire. That's why I've started a new fic in the godforsaken year of 2024. The Joker was just me mary sueing Lance. Because why not?

13. Second Chances (Drarry)

So far, this is my only Drarry fic and it is the LONGEST fic I've ever written. Including the clockroom. This one has been 2 years in the making and over 300 pages and I am TIRED. Anyways, I hope I'll be able to finish this one eventually. Otherwise my gf will kill me, I'm afraid XD

The idea is that Draco is a therapist, because I love psychoanalysing him and I wondered what he would do with himself after the war. I also tend to write time travel on accident, so that happened too. This was once supposed to be a one shot. Can you believe it?

I think 13 is a good hill to die on. Thank you for the ask, anon ^^

[rogueddie]

Thats what I realised as I was typing that ask! Like does anyone actually ever tell him about the Demogorgon lurking around his house? Does Jonathan ever explain how he came to be taking pictures there? Nancy goes straight to find Jonathan after she finds the Demogorgon at Steve's house again but does she tell him later? Or is he left thinking that the Demogorgon was only there to take barb? That his life was only in danger that one time rather than the reality that it was lurking all that time

It would add another dimension to his reluctance to talk about what happened in season 2 not only because someone died at his house and it could've also been Nancy when she went to look for answers when he wasn't there but it also could've been him. And his parents aren't home so unless it happened before they came home to lecture him about the party, it could've been awhile before anyone realised because he doesn't have anyone to keep looking for him like barb and will had oh god I'm gonna be thinking about this all night now

no bc the more I think about it the more like... what does Steve actually know? I need to do a rewatch bc do they actually know that Barb died specifically in Steves pool? I mean, they know she's dead and I assume Jonathan would tell Nancy that she went missing in Steves garden, but Will survived so long in the Upside Down that they might have assumed she ran for some time or something???? I'm driving myself up the wall.

It definitely would make Steves reluctance to talk about any of it so much more sympathetic. Especially because no one would have told him about that until after. That would be a nasty spiral too; not only are monsters from other dimensions real, he can't trust anyone, he inadvertently got someone killed and, oh yeah, his home was never safe bc the monster was coming into their dimension via the trees in his back yard and- not only could he have died with no one to look for him- but with how often his parents seem to go away that it's normal, would he have actually noticed if they were missing... Jesus fucking christ, is all I'm gonna say to that.

[sagemoderocklee]

do you have any behind the scenes commentary on kado?

ok bts for kado... i honestly wasn't excpecting this so im trying to gather my thoughts which is hard rn post work...

so its possible ive talked about this before but i was very specific in the way i structured kado. i based the structure on Ikebana itself. so it could ONLY be 3 chapters (based on the Seika* style which didn't make it as a chapter title) and each chapter could ONLY have 9 scenes (based on the Rikka style of Ikebana).

if there's one thing im NOT it's good at shorter stories, but by god did i fight tooth and nail to get that story told in 3 9-scene long chapters. and it worked! i think challenging myself like that was honestly a lot of fun for me, and i think the story hit all the beats it needed to without dragging. i think sometimes with modern AUs especially they can kinda drag on with the like everyda and mundane, and like that CAN be good, but it's all in the execution and im not generally good at the execution of that sort of thing (which is often why i struggle with modern AUs).

i also picked the title kado (way of flowers) as a nod to nindo...

this isn't much and i may have already talked about this ages ago, so another thing for the bts...

Tenten was very obviously in on the arrangement Lee special ordered at the end of ch2 as his way of confessing to Gaara, but she was also the one to point out to Lee that he was completely smitten with Gaara. Lee was always visiting Gaara and he'd always come back over the moon, and Tenten teased Lee about his very obvious crush, which of course Lee denied but ya know once she'd said it... so Tenten was a guiding force for both Lee and Gaara in them getting together. And she was so pissed off at Gaara for all the obvious reasons, but also because she was feelin guilty for encouraging Lee when she thought Gaara had just broken his heart. Neji was definitely present, and he and Tenten helped Lee research the flowers to pick for his lil love confession to Gaara.

obviously after lee and gaara get together tenten is very happy about all this, but she and neji absolutely do give gaara hell for like the first couple months cause they aren't ready to believe he's not gonna hurt Lee again (gai is a LOT more gracious because of the ikebana piece gaara made and gai seeing a reflection of gaara's character in it). but neji and tenten give gaara the cold shoulder a lot and make very very subtle comments from time to time--nothing too obvious that lee would catch on, and gaara never says anything cause he understands they're being protective, but it doesn't make the first few months of them dating easy. and referencing the ask i got earlier, gaara and lee def do go on double dates with Sakura and Ino in this particular AU, and when Shikamaru and Temari finally get together them too. and when tenten and neji stop giving gaara such a hard time. they NEVER go on doubles with kankuro and hinata but they obviously do all hang out.

and Lee is Gaara's plus one to chouji's wedding.

i hope that's a fun lil bts for you anon! thanks for asking!

*from the wikipedia on Ikebana: Seika (生花, 'pure flowers') style consists of only three main parts, known in some schools as ten ('heaven'), chi ('earth'), and jin ('human'). It is a simple style that is designed to show the beauty and uniqueness of the plant itself. Formalisation of the nageire style for use in the Japanese alcove resulted in the formal shoka style.

[foxes-that-run]

18

18 is the only song Ed Sheeran wrote specifically for One Direction, and only one he wrote from their perspective. To me, it refers to I Wish You Would which Taylor wrote about Harry while on the Red Tour with Ed. Like Tenerife Sea, I think it is about Taylor from Harry's perspective. The Spotify vertical video focuses on Harry and Zayn who primarily sing it:

To Smallzy in September, 2014 Ed said, both that his songs are generally about a specific person and he also talked about writing 18 for One Direction:

"I wasn't gonna do it again because there was lots of ..ah.. basically, my record label got very annoyed that my first #1 was a song that I gave to someone else, and they were kind of like "don't do it. I did Britain's got Talent and basically Simon Cowell invited me up to eat and talk. And he mentioned it and in my head I was like 'I just just want to focus on my stuff' and the next day I was in Copenhagen and I got an idea and I kind of went into the shower room that's big and reverbartive and I wrote it thought that sounds like something for them. It's not something I would use for myself. It was written specifically for them and it's cool" Smallzy asks about Taylor he if he had helped with 1989, Ed "that's all her, all throughout of her doing it I heard little bits of it all throughout. Everything she does is a certain quality, it is going to satisfy any fan of hers."

Simon Cowell tells a similar story. Taylor also told Ryan Seacrest and others she played 1989 to Ed while on the Red Tour together.

The '...ah...' it is interesting, because although Ed and Harry stayed close, Ed did not write a song for Midnight Memories. There is a rumour this is about Don't. Ed did write Tenerife Sea, another song from Harry's perspective about Taylor in 2013 - that's on Ed's Multiply. This helps determine which Britain's got talent appearance he was referring to.

Timeline

Ed was on Britain's Got Talent twice, both were live shows, which narrows down when this song was written to 2 days, the day after:

8 June, 2013, Ed and Taylor performed Everything Has Changed together, or

27 May, 2014, Ed performed Sing.

Either is possible, but I am inclined to focus on 2014, because it's on Four and Ed did not write for Midnight Memories, which June would have made. In May 2014:

24 May 2014 Ed and One Direction both performed on the main stage of the Radio 1 Big Weekend in Glasgow. Harry and Taylor were seemingly back together. 2 squad members, Lorde and Lily Allen, also played. Taylor was in New York that morning then disappeared for 6 days, Harry off 3 of those.

25 & 26 May 2014 - ED & Taylor MIA, 1D have a few days off, Harry is seen in London playing a celebrity football game.

27 May 2014 - Ed performs on Britain's Got Talent in London, Taylor and Harry MIA.

28 May 2014 - Ed said he wrote the song in Copenhagen the next day, he wasn't seen. 1D UK show, Taylor still MIA.

5 June 2014 - Ed seen in London, Simon Cowell said he gave him the song a week after Britain's Got Talent.

Live Performances

Ed has never performed 18, he has performed other songs he gave to other artists, it may be that it was never written for him or it could be that others charted higher. One Direction added 18 to the OTRA setlist with No Control on 13 June 2015, replacing One Thing. It hasn't been on any solo 1D concert setlists. (It's at 33 mins here)

Since we were 16 honey

Harry once said “I have love you since we were 16 honey” after the chorus. Noting the song was only performed June - December 2015 I think Harry is taking the piss of Louis and Larries. 1D met industry people in LA before he turned 17 and Taylor was in town there, and there were times in late 2015 Harry and Taylor were in the UK and seemingly in contact with Colour IG posts and Haylor surprise songs from Taylor, so while Harry did potentially know Taylor at 16 I think this line is trolling .

Lyrics

I got a heart, and I got a soul Believe me, I will use them both We made a start Be it a false one, I know Baby, I don't want to feel alone

The opening verse is about a relationship that ended (false start) and not wanting to feel alone. To me, this is referring to the events of 2012/2013 and that relationship ending, Ed, being good friends with Harry while on tour with Taylor, hearing 1989 as it was written would have been keenly aware. He wrote Tenerife Sea in that time.

This verse, like the song to me sounds like it is written for Harry's voice. The verse is describing someone close to the narrator that ended. Later, in Olivia Harry sings of being alone "When you go and I'm alone"

So kiss me where I lay down My hands pressed to your cheeks A long way from the playground

The end of this verse 'long way from the playground' tells us this is a love that started when they were young. Taylor uses school and childhood as a metaphor for One Direction and this young love, including in the MV for EHC which Ed co-wrote, and Suburban Legends.

I have loved you since we were 18 Long before we both thought the same thing To be loved and to be in love All I can do is say that these arms Are made for holding you, oh-oh I wanna love like you made me feel When we were 18

The 1D boys all dated people different ages to them, however Harry and Taylor started officially dating when Harry was 18. I think Ed's simplified this to 'we were 18'.

"Long before we both thought the same thing", to me, is referring to I wish you would and the way Taylor described it. IWYW was written 27 May 2013 while on the US Red Tour with Ed who was likely to have heard it then.

The end of the Chorus is telling us this is a relationship that had come back, much like Taylor had written Style a few months earlier.

We took a chance God knows we tried Yet all along, I knew we'd be fine So pour me a drink, oh love And let's split the night wide open And we'll see everything we can Living love in slow motion, motion, motion

This verse is so much like Harry and Taylors later work which makes me think it must be a referring to a conversation or pattern:

Drinking

Delicate: But you can make me a drink

Satellite: We share the last line / Then we drink the wall / 'Til we wanna talk

Fine Line: We'll get the drinks in and I'll get to thinking of her

Time and slow motion

Olivia: And time is irrelevant when I've not been seeing you

Gold Rush: I don’t like slow motion, double vision in rose blush

Midnight Rain: My boy was a montage, a slow motion love potion

“Slut!”: Half asleep, taking your time in the tangerine neon light

So kiss me where I lay down My hands pressed to your cheeks A long way from the playground

Harry's unreleased Lay down also has arms around his muse, without knowing a clear era for Lay Down the inspiration could go either way with those. "Lay down with me (I put my arms around ya)" I am inclined to think Harry referenced Ed.

[kopivie]

oh boy, a sentimental vent from cinna? again? shut up already! (i will not.)

so, i met my stepfather when i was about four years old.

i absolutely hate referring to him as my stepfather, btw. he's my father, dammit.

the funniest thing to me is the fact that i have a very distinct memory of the time we went to a waterside park when i was young and he taught me how to skip rocks. well, he tried to teach me. i couldn't do it then, and i still can't do it now, but i remember thinking he was so cool. that memory is tucked away inside my head in the safest place. but the funny thing about that memory is that i always swore i had known my dad for at least a year when we went to that park. turns out that wasn't the case – according to my mom, that was actually the very first day i had met him.

i feel like that says a lot about how i saw him from the get-go. i was still my mother's only child at the time, so if her boyfriends didn't get along with me, then she wasn't going to keep them around. apparently i told my mom that we absolutely had to see him again, so she trusted him and... the rest is history. as for my dad, he told me that that was the day he fell in love with me; i was his daughter from that moment forward.

i'm over here getting misty-eyed. i love my dad so much, y'all don't understand. 🥹

anyway! after that day, i'd go over to his apartment and he introduced me to video games! this was ~2005-2006, so the wii wasn't really out yet, but the dreamcast, playstation 2, and xbox already were.

i get my love of video games from my dad. in order to warm me up to being around him in close quarters, he let me play so many games — games that i hold near and dear to my heart to this day. marvel vs. capcom 2 for the dreamcast, jak and daxter for the playstation 2, and a litany of xbox games are the earliest ones i can remember. (specifically jet set radio future, halo 2, prince of persia, and dead or alive 2 for the xbox.)

and then, when the wii came out, he practically gave me full ownership of the console. i wasn't a nintendo kid initially, but i certainly was after 2006. super mario galaxy 1 and 2, mario sports mix, mario super sluggers, mario strikers charged, mario and sonic at the olympic games...

i really like mario games, okay?

god, it was so much fun being a kid. when he introduced me to his other kids, we bonded over video games! his youngest son at the time and i played so much that to this day, we still recall being super competitive and crazy over those old games. cooking mama, the olympic games, sports games (including wii sports), mario kart, fighting games... hell, even little big planet was a competition.

my brother is older than me, but he never mocked me for playing poorly with him. he never judged me, never bragged... of course, losing and/or coming in second all the time didn't exactly feel good, but i never stopped trying to be good at games while my brother was away.

but he had video games too, so... i was never gonna beat him at anything. that doesn't make playing alongside him any less fun.

all in all, video games brought me closer to my dad and my brother. and even now, my younger siblings and i bond over video games; every now and again, my little sister will text me to play splatoon together. because of my experience with competitive splatoon, i used to give her advice on how to improve. i don't play comp anymore (not really), but she's definitely taken some of my advice to heart. i never berate her for messing up nor do i micromanage her play style. we play games together because we love each other, and that's all there is.

why say all this, cinna?

well, nintendo finally decided to release their own music app. it doesn't include songs from every title ever, but the super mario galaxy soundtrack is on there. super mario galaxy was the very first game that i challenged myself to complete in its entirety. the game holds up to this day, so much so that nintendo put the first game on the switch.

literally begging on my knees for them to put super mario galaxy 2 on the switch... and every mario wii game, actually. BEGGING.

the soundtrack is absolutely gorgeous. one thing about nintendo's most iconic games is that they will NEVER miss with the music. (same goes for sega.) so i'm about to do work with the music of my childhood playing in my ears and i'm just... feeling sentimental.

my dad and i had a falling out recently, but after we made up, we became closer than ever. (mind you, the falling out lasted no more than two or three hours. we made up before sundown.) so every time i'm reminded of these older games, i think if my dad and how much of a gamer i turned out to be because of him.

tldr: in the words of that one tiktok audio: i fuckin' love my dad.