#after daisuke’s death and seeing anyas corpse

[doomedtoxicyuri333]

mouthwashing oc…. her name is rose *conniving smirk as if that Isn’t the second part of my name*

jimmy when i catch you jimmy

[a-person-on-the-internet]

After reading the notes:

I get the idea that jimmy experiencing A Consequence For His Actions sounds like it would be a good ending AU, but… let’s be honest this wouldn’t fix anything. It’ll make it worse.

What if...

What would happen if they had changed places?...

[raining-anonymously]

i really really appreciate how much the mouthwashing gameplay emphasizes that curly is still a feeling human person after the crash. he reacts to every single thing that happens around him. he makes decisions. he changes his behavior as the game progresses. these subtle details are everything to me. he’s not a prop.

CW for discussion of medical abuse, forcefeeding, torture, gore, autocannibalism, basically everything curly experiences in-game

“he doesn’t want to keep still any more.” our first line in curly’s presence. anya doesn’t say “he won’t keep still anymore,” she says he doesn’t want to. this diction provides a sharp contrast to jimmy, whose only acknowledgment of curly’s desires comes up when he puts words in curly’s mouth, while anya observes curly’s body language to extrapolate what he actually wants and needs. she considers him a person, just as the player is meant to; jimmy does not.

the progression of the pills scenes. in the first one, he’s in about as little pain as we see him. he just chokes it down.

in the second pills scene, anya is late on giving him the pills and he’s clearly in great pain, crying, tossing and turning even though that probably just hurts him more. i do think the way the crying can be heard through the entire ship is jimmy’s auditory hallucination, but it was loud enough to wake jimmy up from the lounge. when jim actually does give him the pills, curly briefly resists, but after that first hit, he cries out in pain and then gives this strangled “huh?” before the beating continues. he cries out a couple more times before realizing jimmy wants him to be quiet, and he stops crying out, lets jimmy give him the pills, and sobs quietly before going silent.

in the third pills scene, curly seems to be trying not to make noise or resist. he still sobs after the pills go down and falls quiet after.

after anya’s and daisuke’s deaths, curly lies so still and quiet that i’ve witnessed multiple players be shocked that he’s still alive when his chest moves.

and the infamous laughter… that’s definitive proof that curly isn’t just reacting to stimuli like pain (which would not make him less of a person, for the record) but actively observing and thinking about the events around him.

when jimmy picks curly up. despite the fact that having his burns pressed against another person would be excruciating, curly does not react. just breaths hoarsely and keeps his eye locked on jimmy — until he ends up on the table surrounded by the corpses. then, and only then, does his breath get panicky, and he starts to cry softly.

cutting the leg. my goodness, those screams. incredible voice acting, first of all, but it really stands out to me that it isn’t a terrifying, inhuman scream. it’s very human, very desperate and pained, mixed with heaving, awful sobs. and afterward? curly’s so shaken that he’s visibly moving his jaw on his own as he gasps for breath. and the look in his eye…

in the force feeding scene — which, in my mind, was a hallucinatory version of real events — curly is silent and still. he only moves or cries out when he’s forced to via vomiting or the wheels turning (though the latter is likely imagined). he doesn’t react to anything else. doesn’t even hold up his head. but he gives these pained cries when the wheels turn, and this draws awareness to how he’s being treated as a prop here with intention. he’s being dehumanized, reduced to an object, but we as the player are painfully aware that this is a person. he’s not reacting more because he’s shutting down from all the trauma he’s experienced.

and i have a lot in my head about the juxtaposition of curly POV scenes with jimmy interacting with post-crash curly scenes. they’re often perfectly timed to remind you that the person on the cot, on the table, or in your arms is the same man who you were a minute ago, and vice versa.

just. man. mouthwashing emphasizes curly’s humanity at every corner, and that makes his story so much more horrifying.

i really like this game and i really like that it displays a disabled character being dehumanized by the player character while also emphasizing to the player that this is not right.

[transhitman]

I’ve seen a lot of Mouthwashing lets players get confused when Curly laughs when Jimmy finds the gun. I wanna try my take, lemme know if I’m delusional or not.

There’s a short story by Juan Rolfe called “No Dogs Bark” about a father carrying his son’s corpse back to their village so he can receive a proper burial. The father talks to his son’s body as if the young man is still alive. Through context clues, the reader learns that because of the father’s emotional neglect, his son ran off to become a highwayman and that’s ultimately what got him killed. There’s a line in book where the Father seems to come to terms with his son’s death, his failure as a parent, and that the last futile gift he can give his son is to endure the suffering with carrying a decomposing body back to town without stopping to rest so the boy can be buried as soon as possible:

“I cannot think of a sentinel’s burden so Hellish and so fit for a man like me.”

The choice of the word “sentinel” always stayed with me. The duty of a protector, a duty that this Father clearly failed when his son was alive and can only fulfill with futility in death.

When the player finally sees Anya’s body and where’s she positioned in Curly’s line of sight/proximity; I think Curly would say those same words.

Rolfe goes into detail about how the Father’s human senses reflexively react to the smell and sight of decomposition: eyes watering, visceral nausea, and lightheadedness, but the Father does nothing about it and says that sentence with “anguished joy”. Curly has no eyelids to blink away his watering eyes, can’t pinch his nose from the smell, or tend to his nausea. Literally every protective measure his body would employ to withstand being in the vicinity of decaying flesh is removed from him.

The fandom can debate whether Curly karmadically deserved to be in a position where he cannot look away from Anya’s corpse/put into the pod, but I think, HE THINKS he deserves it. Once Jimmy has that gun -practically a monument of Curly’s failure to protect Anya- is when he finally accepts her death. This flawed-but-good man and captain who has failed to protect his crew, accepts this final sentinel’s duty of being the last survivor of the Tupalr dissent into chaos. And He accepts this duty with complete anguished joy.

Okaaay this is so interesting. I at first took Curly laughing as like. Kind of breaking as he realizes the gun was literally right here the whole time. It should have been obvious where Anya hid it. Literally right next to him all these months. God, the irony. But I really like the interpretation that it's the point where he realizes he's going to either die or be the last one alive, and that he has finally reached his personal hell. Cause like. Anya and Daisuke are dead. Jimmy has the gun now and either he'll kill Swansea and then himself (because let's be honest, Jimmy would not chose to live with himself after this and I think Curly knows it), or Swansea will overpower Jimmy and then put Curly out of his misery like he did Daisuke. And Swansea sure as hell isn't taking the pod for himself after everything. And Curly knows there's no other outcome. Everyone is going to die because of what he did and he deserves to bear witness. Cowboy Bebop endscreen You're Gonna Carry That Weight. Fuck that's such a good interpretation...

[tamiscolaris]

some spoiler-heavy thoughts about mouthwashing after thinking on it for a while:

interesting thing about anya: when you are playing as jimmy, she is never around. you can always find swansea and daisuke on the ship but anya just is not there. she only shows up in relation to tasks and responsibilities. she's barely even present when she is there. but when you're playing as curly, she's fully character - you learn her thoughts, her emotions. i think this shows how jimmy doesn't see the people around him as people and instead projects his own versions of them over their actual selves (see: the birthday scene where the crew are happy and animated from jimmy's pov but lifeless corpses when the camera pulls back)

there was a rope in the cockpit. if jimmy wanted to commit suicide he could have used that or the numerous other options on board but he deliberately chose the most destructive option

they were planning to eat curly after their food ran out? at the beginning jimmy says they're keeping curly alive for two reasons and the second is never stated. daisuke says they have four months of rations and anya's breakdown happens at four months. maybe that was the last straw. also explains the curly birthday cake thing

'why did they put locks on the medbay doors and not the bedrooms. same reason there's a lock on the cockpit. safety.' this is my favourite line(s) in the whole thing. the fucking locks on the doors and the negligence of pony express caused/was a major factor in every damn problem on this ship (anya being SA'd by jimmy, anya locking herself in the medbay and the falloff consequences of that, the cockpit being locked when the ship crashed)

daisuke's death was extremely jimmy's fault. not only did he contiually pressure daisuke into going into the vent even though he knew it was unsafe, he used the propyl alcohol, the only disinfectant on the ship, to drug swansea.

curly, who was under the constant pressure of the responsibility to keep his crew safe and be a leader, watched his ship crash because of conflict in the crew he couldn't solve, then he had to sit helpless and unmoving as they all died and killed each other and was the sole survivor

i really liked this game

[puer-aurea]

Divine Intervention (Mouthwashing AU)

Part 1 | Part 2 (You are here) | Part 3

ive decided to call this au Divine Intervention cz i think it sounds cool and is sorta fitting? it wont be mentioned anywhere in the fic cz it doesnt happen but their rescue takes place the day before everyone dies in game. so she saved them at the last second basically

After a brief introduction to the rest of the crew, Arabella is led to the med-bay to meet the previous captain. Anya and Jimmy accompany her while Daisuke and Swansea pack some things. The old captain looks their way and seems to freak out a little when he sees the new person.

"It's okay, Curly... She's here to help." Anya walks up to the man.

He looks near death, hardly alive enough to be called a man. If it didn't feel wrong from a medically moral standpoint, Arabella would've considered him a walking corpse in her head. But he was alive enough to move, make noise, and hurt, so he was alive enough to be saved. Jimmy stays by the doorway while she walks towards the old captain and the nurse.

"Hello, Captain Curly-"

"He is no longer captain." Jimmy interrupts angrily, like the one thing he has is being taken from him.

"Well, Jimmy, I'm afraid neither are you-" she turns to face him- "since your crew agreed to board my ship and be rescued, whoever was captain, legally or acting, is absolved of their duties. From now until we land, you are all patients under the care of No Boundaries Search and Rescue team member Arabella Inara. Which is me, if you can't tell."

"He is... not a very good man." Anya explains quietly.

She waits for Jimmy to respond if he decides to. He looks like he's trying to be intimidating. When he figures all eyes have been on him for long enough, he mutters a 'whatever' and walks away.

"I didn't think he would just leave? He's distrusting but doesn't seem to care enough to ensure I can be trusted." Arabella states.

The half dead captain struggles and groans on the table, seemingly freaking out again. The girls turn their attention back to him and Arabella pulls a small med-kit out of her suit pocket. She places it on a nearby table before pulling out a vial and a syringe. The sight makes Anya and the dying captain panic slightly.

"W-what are you doing?" Anya stands in front of him defensively.

Arabella gives a confused look before realizing she didn't explain her intent.

"Oh, don't worry more than you need to. It's morphine to put Captain Curly to sleep while we move him to my ship and get everything situated. I figured it would be easier on both us and him. Since you would technically be his leading caregiver as the Pony Express nurse, you can decide if I should give him it or not."

Anya looks nervously at the syringe and Arabella. She thinks for a moment before sighing and relaxing, moving out of the way.

After a moment of no indication of a response, the captain simply turns his head to the side and up a little, as if he was offering his neck. Actually, he was offering his neck. A silent agreement to Arabella's words. She places the syringe up to his neck and pushes it in as gently as possible. He fidgets slightly from the pain but remains mostly calm. When it's in far enough, she pushes down so the morphine goes in and removes it as carefully as she put it in. It was fast acting and the old captain was unresponsive quick enough for Arabella to store the syringe in vial back in the med-kit before the rest of the crew approached.

"Go ahead..." She hangs her head low as if she's admitting defeat.

"Okay Captain Curly, if you can accept this shot gracefully, then when we get you on my ship and you wake up, I will have a proper conversation about my plans to get you all home. Well, about as proper of a conversation as we can." Arabella stands over him with the syringe, waiting.

"Are you all ready to go then?" Arabella asks.

"More than ready! I'm so homesick!" Daisuke responds in a cheery tone.

"Great, if one of you could carry Captain Curly to the loading area then almost everything is good to go. I'll help Anya get her stuff and take whatever is still of use from here. Can never have too much medical supplies." Arabella gives the order to no one in particular but Jimmy still scoffs and does it as if he was the one who was asked.

The crew, minus Anya, headed off to the loading area while Arabella and her worked on gathering whatever supplies weren't ruined. When they seemed to be far enough out of earshot, Arabella abruptly stopped.

"Where is your cockpit?"

[wandering-pirate]

Permanent Eclipse

Summary: We saw it all happen from Jimmy's eyes, but what was going through the dying intern's mind during his final moments?

Words: 1.5k

Tags: Angst, heavy angsty angst

TW: Character deaths and gore (mouthwashing being mouthwashing)

a/n: i was inspired (tortured) by this tiktok: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS62aWV9h/

He screwed up. Again.

One chance to redeem himself from all the headaches he caused the whole crew - all down the drain. One chance to save Anya, the person who treated him like a sibling - gone. One chance to make the man he looked up to proud... how he wished to see Swansea smile at something he did, with genuine pride. He'll never be able to see that.

Daisuke's irregular breathing was filling the whole room up, loud and uneven, like the chaos in his head. Regret. Self-loathing. Guilt. And gosh, Anya. He never saw something so empty in his life. Her eyes that used to look at him with warmth and care, were now cold voids.

The gut-clenching pain of the scene twisted harder than his raw and oozing wounds. It didn't matter though, because the only person that could heal him was now sitting lifeless before him. And it was all his fault.

The loud banging of the medbay door snapped him out of his daze. The reason why he climbed the vent came back to him and he limped towards it. The second the lock clicked under his trembling hands, his legs crumpled.

“Hey bud, I got you! What happe--”

“Anya... Anya, she-- she’s--”

One look. Daisuke's brows furrowed, stunned by how the co-pilot didn’t even spare a glance at the nurse's body. His focus solely on finding a spot to lean the wounded intern against.

“I know, I know. Let’s get you cleaned up first, alright?”

Jimmy's arms steadied him, but all the young man could look at was the face of their substitute captain. His pressed lips, the prominent line between his brows, his clenched jaw. Daisuke winced at the pure disappointment silently radiating from him.

He shivered at the cool metal wall Jimmy placed him on. Having a clear view of Anya... and goodness, he forgot about their bandaged captain. What hit him hard was seeing Curly's wide eye transfixed at her, tears were flowing in one continuous stream.

"This might sting, Daisuke, but it'll disinfect your wounds, alright? Just hang in there, bud"

When the mouthwash hit his open flesh, he barely flinched. The sting being a distant feeling perceived by his hazy mind. Receiving the harsh treatment from the co-pilot's hands, Daisuke could not even react. Jimmy worked quickly, but the boy's gaze was glued to Anya. Just lying there. A corpse. Maybe… maybe she wasn’t gone.

Yeah! That's it. Anya was just showing how Swansea and he have acted the past few days with their mouthwash alcoholism. She was just proving a point, right? Just making him have a taste of his own medicine. She'll get up. She'll stop the charade after knowing that Daisuke's hurt... She wasn’t really…

"She's dead, Daisuke. Let's focus on patching you up"

Jimmy cut through him like death's scythe. Cold and unforgiving. His mind wondered why the co-pilot was nonchalant with the whole thing. Maybe he blamed him. There's nothing Jimmy could do because Daisuke failed to save her.

He never even realized how his vision blurred from the tears. Hearing the words he kept denying himself shattered him. Dead. Of course she's dead. And it's all his fault.

His wounds made even the lightest of breaths a battle, the nauseating smell of metal mixed with sweet mint. The guilt clawed at his guts, unforgiving, unrelenting. It was all too much. His body was shutting down.

The last thing he remembered was Jimmy swearing and shouting his name. Yeah, he deserved that, every nasty word thrown at him, he'd take it.

When he woke, he didn’t feel any better. If anything, it was worse. Heat and excruciating pain throbbed under his wounds, radiating out like fire while the rest of him shivered uncontrollably. Every nerve in his body screamed, yet all he could think about was the heavy presence sitting beside him.

Swansea.

Daisuke froze. He wasn't ready to face the man he looked up to. Couldn’t meet the mechanic’s eyes. Daisuke wasn't a shy one nor was he an introvert, but at that moment, all he wanted to do was to dig himself a grave. To hide. To be forgotten. To just.. disappear.

Jimmy’s disappointment was already too much; Swansea’s would destroy him. Daisuke's eyes were closed but his ears were definitely not, and his lips trembled after hearing the older man sigh, deep and gravelly.

"What were you thinking?"

Soft. Too soft. Was it pity? Is it rage masked with calmness? Daisuke panicked. Swansea never used this tone. He yelled, barked orders, always had sarcastic quips. But, not this. This calmness was worse. This calmness meant his mentor had abandoned all hope on him.

"I-I'm sorry..." Daisuke meant it to be a steady apology, but it left his lips in a shaky whisper. He hated how pathetic he was being.

"Look, it ain't yer fault," Swansea rubbed his face. "If anyone is to blame, it's that ass actin' captain this whole damn time."

All those words fell into the fire, burnt into ashes. Daisuke wanted to believe him, but no. Every terrible decision, every wrong turn, it all led back to himself. Anya’s death. His wound. The infection eating away at him.

Every second was agony, it felt like running a marathon just by wiping his tears. Every movement, blades raking through his skin down to the bone.

The world dissolved into a haze, Swansea’s figure reduced to a shapeless blur. Each breath he took felt like dragging shattered glass through his already tired lungs. His thoughts twisted into knots he couldn’t untangle—tight, choking, blaming

It’s all my fault

Home. I just wanna go home. I can’t do this anymore

I should’ve been braver—no, smarter—why wasn’t I smarter? Why did I screw up again?

Anya, I’m sorry. Gosh, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve this

I should’ve been stronger, faster. Maybe then… maybe then I could’ve saved you

Swansea… I let you down

Mom, I—Mom, I’m sorry. For everything. For being me. For not being the son you wanted

If only… if only I’d been better. Maybe then none of this would’ve happened

Jimmy and Swansea were arguing but it all blurred into a single incoherent mumble. Every word drifted into a distant echo with the boy's eyelids growing more and more heavy.

For the second time, Daisuke lost consciousness, his body succumbing to the pain. Even in his dreams, his guilt followed him. Denying him rest, plaguing him with nightmares.

His vision blurred after returning to consciousness. His sight flickering in and out of focus. After having some clarity, his eyes met the dull gray metal ceiling, a yellow blob sticking out on his peripheral. He's now reminded of the mechanic's presence. How much time has passed? Did the mechanic stay beside him after all his failures?

The infection, it had to be worse now. It wasn’t just the wound that was tearing at him—it was everything else, unrelenting tidal waves of nausea, the aching, feverish delirium that had him questioning whether he was awake or dreaming.

Daisuke tried to speak, but even a grunt felt like blades were cutting his throat. All he could do was lay there, pathetically, his body too weak to move. Too worn out to ask the mechanic for his forgiveness. It wasn’t just the wound anymore—it was his entire self getting split open from the inside.

He didn’t notice the way his body twitched and jerked. But Swansea saw it all—the tremors in his limbs, the shallow, uneven breaths, the thin sheen of fever-slick sweat on his skin. To anyone with two functional eyes, it was clear: Daisuke’s body was falling apart. Piece by agonizing piece.

"It's alright, Daisuke. Calm down."

The deep voice cuts through the fog. Again with his soft tone, but something was different this time. There was this quiet desperation in the way the gruff man spoke... Was that sorrow?

He opened his eyes, looking up to the mechanic. His senior was furrowing his eyebrows like he usually does, but his eyes. They were mourning.

"You coulda taught an old fool like me a lot"

Daisuke strained hard to understand all the words. He tamed his writhing body, steadied his breathing and kept his half-lidded eyes on Swansea. With every ounce of strength left, he fought to show the man that he was listening.

"Just a damn good kid tryin his best"

It dawned on him - sharp and cold. The man was saying his goodbyes.

"Close your eyes, Daisuke..."

The axehead was above Swansea's head now, and for a moment, Daisuke's thoughts scattered. Was Swansea really going to kill him? He knew he deserved it, but it somehow ached his whole being. It wasn't like the sharp pain from his wounds or the burning fever. It was a numb, suffocating, and heavy kind of ache that sucked him of all his strength.

But even now, with everything crumbling, the intern followed the mechanic's instructions. His lashes fluttered shut, pressing his unshed tears down his fevered cheeks.

Maybe, just maybe, if he got it right this time, he'd finally hear it:

"You did good, kid"

[thefandomenchantress]

I was going to do a post about my overall thoughts on Mouthwashing after I watched a playthrough, but I got a little carried away talking about one specific point, so I figured I'll ramble here and do that later.

(WARNINGS: Mentions of SA, overdosing, guns and death) (And Jimmy in general)

Jimmy is a terrible person (sorry I know it's tradition not to say his name but I'm too lazy to think up something silly to call him every time I refer to him haha). I loved how they used the unreliable narrator trope with him, and how the deaths sorta reflect his (negative) growth in the story and overall themes and stuff.

First, Anya dies. Her death is one Jimmy can easily pretend isn't his fault, even though he's most of, if not the reason she died. He SA'd her and got her pregnant, crashed the ship and forced her to be stuck with him longer, was often rude or hostile towards her, and overall was the main contributor to her deteriorating mental state and her death. But Jimmy can't acknowledge that, so it was her own fault she died. It's not his fault she broke down over every little thing and decided to overdose. And Pony Express was also to blame, right? They laid her off. And Curly's the one who told her that before he was supposed to. So it wasn't completely his fault or even his fault at all, (to Jimmy, I don't believe all this obviously).

Then Daisuke dies. Jimmy has a harder time justifying that it wasn't his fault this time. Jimmy hadn't told Anya to lock herself in Medical and overdose, but it was Jimmy's direct orders that led to Daisuke getting majorly injured. Jimmy, the older, more higher-ranking crew member told him he needed to go along with his plan. Not only that, but Jimmy also manipulated Daisuke by saying that everyone was counting on him and that Swansea would be proud if he pulled this off. For the first time, he acts like he believes Daisuke is capable of doing something right, because now it benefits him. But Jimmy didn't force him to go in the vent, so it wasn't his fault. And how was he supposed to remember Anya said the mouthwash didn't work as disinfectant? Swansea should've waited longer before putting Daisuke out of his misery, he could've fixed it. In fact, Swansea was the reason he was forced to use the disinfectant earlier, so this was Swansea's fault, not his.

Finally, Swansea dies. And this time, Jimmy is undeniably 100% at fault, because he's the one who shot Swansea directly in the face. Swansea was tied up to the chair. Jimmy didn't do it out of self-defense, like what happened in the graveyard minigame. Jimmy stood in front of tied-up, defenseless man who could no longer hurt him, and shot him in the face without hesitation.

Curly's almost the worst of all. Jimmy forced him to suffer as a barely living corpse for months and then made him do things I...Don't particularly want to put in writing. And at the end of it all he assures himself that he's the hero, he did the right thing, because he saved Curly from dying for another twenty years, even though he's the reason the whole crew is in this mess in the first place. All his other heinous actions don't matter anymore, because he finally took responsibility, right?

And I think it's cool that the game slowly makes Jimmy realize that everything is his fault, the crew wouldn't have been stuck here in the first place if it weren't for him. The deaths both show the player Jimmy's true colors over time while forcing Jimmy to finally realize that he is not the victim. He is not better than everyone else. Everything is his fault. And now that he can finally see that...

He needs to take responsibility.

It's just...The sheer AUDACITY of this man. He's so caught up in his own ego it's atrocious. And that makes me love this game so much more, because even if I hate Jimmy with every fiber of my being, this game wouldn't work without him. It wouldn't even be the same game, really. So I guess what I'm saying is that while I hate Jimmy, I loved Mouthwashing.

[hremail24]

mouthwashing thoughts i just need to infodump/rant here (spoilers obviously, also sa/pregnancy/death warning)

seeing part of an analysis video where OP implied anya didn't haunt the narrative while having arguably one of the most powerful scenes where she's literally haunting the narrative literally on screen is so insane. how do you see the scene where polle is asking jimmy why he's so focused on curly when he claims to be sorry, standing in front of the night time screen, the one she said she liked and would go out of her way to look at it when she couldn't sleep, the one where she had the conversation with curly about the door locks and the dead pixel. and say in full confidence she isn't haunting the narrative. i would argue the ultrasound scene is ALSO her. yes the baby is a separate character but SHE IS CARRYING IT. i would argue the womb Is her in jimmy's hallucination and he sees her as just a vessel for more consequences against him. this is ALSO completely ignoring having her literal corpse removed/blanked out from jimmy's view when he's finding mouthwash for daisuke's wound too like. she won't be anywhere in jimmy's vision after her death because he never saw her as a human, he never saw her as someone worth his time or attention. the only reason she existed to him was to fuck with curly and ruin his career, to improve his ego when he did the bare minimum, to be someone to berate when she asked him to do literally anything as acting captain. saying she doesn't haunt the narrative or do anything after her death is just demonstrably false ESPECIALLY when seeing her from the perspective of someone who just does not give a single fuck about her. just because she is not physically there doesn't mean she isn't doing anything!!! this game is literally 90% symbolism and metaphor!!!! you are falling for jimmy's bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!

[worlds-least-responsible]

//okay let me Elaborate further. au thing where everything is the exact same up until the point Jimmy eats Curly's leg. Curly dies from shock and agony, leaving Jimmy even MORE disturbed because now he's Alone. he can no longer play the hero- hell, he won't even have someone to Talk to anymore. no matter how much he yelled, held him in his arms, cried or shook him, Curly was gone. another lifeless corpse among the table. this causes Jimmy to spiral even FURTHER, because he didn't MEAN for Curly to die. none of this was planned- since the start, everything had gone wrong. they should've all died in a single impact from the beginning. so many mixed emotions plus an already critical state of psychosis surely can't do good for one's health, so instead of Jimmy going through that whole segment in the end of the game up until the cryopod scene, all his anger and dread forms into one single amalgamation- and it has Curly's face. let me explain. through out the entirety of Post-Crash, Jimmy never once felt regret towards what he did to Anya. in fact he did the opposite, frequently dehumanizing her. maybe you could say he felt SOME regret at Daisuke's death?? but that's because Swansea took away his chance of "saving" him. he literally shot Swansea after tying him down so . no. but Curly? Jimmy hallucinates seeing Curly constantly, he only felt regret because HE got injured. Curly was Jimmy's enabler, his right hand, and now he's gone. he CAN'T fix anything anymore. and this amalgamation, it keeps tormenting him. it reminds him of his flaws, but the thing that sickens Jimmy the most is that it's CURLY saying these things to him. CURLY, who had always gave him the benefit of doubt, his kindness everlasting. and boy does it fucking HURT.

// i have an Idea .