#after all true loyalty is inherently intertwined with trust

[transingthoseformers]

The more I think about canon tfp Megatron, which I believe this fic's version of tfp and its inhabitants are pretty fucking close to canon and tfp Soundwave is going to remain as such for a while, the more I see he has a very strict system that's exactly influenced by pre-war Cybertron, his time in the pits, and his own idiosyncrasies. Yes I find his design fairly attractive, and highly enjoy specific fanon depictions, but I agree that in canon the way he set up the Decepticon hierarchy is maladaptive and dysfunctional. In canon he certainly has a "Life is a performance, I am the main character, and things will go my way regardless of everything" attitude, if that's the right way to explain it? It's a manipulative rhythm.

It reminds me a lot of Functionalism. Not as in the in universe terms of functionist where in there's a taxonomical ranking with some being elevated over others, such as in idwg1, but the sociology term. He's boiled everyone on his ship down to a role based on usefulness for his goals. Yes, Starscream is clearly a bit of a wildcard in his rhythm, but from what I can see in canon he's 100% the scapegoat in most continuities (even to some of the show writers, i theorize?) He's the guy who's the example to the rest of what happens to the disobedient.

This is purely based on my observations of canon tfp and canon tfp alone, temporarily ignoring the rest of aligned.

Tl;dr, canon tfp Megatron is easily one of the more obsessive versions, but he's also surprisingly deliberate in everything he says and does. Comparing it to roles/parts in a play is actually a fairly apt analogy. And in this fic we see its effects heavily on tfp Soundwave.

[smuttymess]

bts astro soulmate reading | for ellen

sign: leo sun | aries moon | scorpio rising

lover: Park Jimin | soulmate: Kim Seokjin

This reading is for the beautiful, smart, lovely Ellen! I really had fun writing this one as I think this is truly a match made in heaven. Hope you enjoy too :)

Action-oriented, strong-willed and enthusiastic, Leo Suns are truly a force to behold. Add in a fiery Aries Moon and you've got yourself a powerhouse who will work tirelessly to achieve any goal they set their mind to - be it a seemingly impossible project at work or playing matchmaker to a notoriously picky bestie. A big-picture thinker, you live in the here and now, focusing less on fantasy and more on the expansive potential of your reality. Supported by your innate self-confidence that radiates from your soul, you are a naturally charming and strong leader, bringing people together and making beautiful things happen (see: events!) Scorpio is a curious sign as it has the intensity of fire, but all within the magnificent depths of water as its core element. While your Aries Moon and Leo Sun is a roaring fire that burns passionately and bright, your Scorpio rising - which dictates how you present yourself - often results in a cooler exterior, with an incredible emotional current flowing just beneath the surface. To those who first meet you, you are seemingly reserved and aloof - avoiding frivolity and small talk like the plague - preferring instead to simply listen, observe and absorb before revealing your true self. This is to your benefit, as your Leo/Aries combination often lends to bluntness, sharp words, and sometimes hurt feelings - the Scorpio rising dials that back a bit, making you more cautious with your language but also perhaps standoffish at times. Despite this occasionally ice exterior, you are very keen to connect with people on a deep, emotional level, and nobody knows this better than the people closest to you. While you have many friends and admirers, there are only a select few that get full access to your heart - and to them you are unfailingly loyal, warm, compassionate, reliable, and generous. Once your trust is earned, you are likely to give your all in your work, familial, and romantic relationships - your love is big, bold, and boundless. Unlike more passive, agreeable signs, you definitely expect equal love in return - Leo/Aries needs praise, recognition, and appreciation for all of your fabulousness, and like a true fire sign, you're not afraid to ask for it. A goal-setter, there is nothing you do in life that isn't deliberate or without meaning. Your desire is to leave an impact, making your mark on the world with your own fiery personal brand, and its likely that your influence already spans further than you realize.

A true connector and creator, you naturally seek ways of construction experiences that meet your expectations and exceptional taste levels - who better than you? Being a lover of fantasy and spectacle, nobody is surprised when you create a Studio 54-inspired pop-up party, wherein you show off your curves in your best 70s get up. Blissed out in a sea of glitter, sequins, and champagne, you are simply shining beneath the dazzling lights as disco floats through the air. The tone of the evening is simply fabulous, and surrounded by friends new and old you are truly in your element. You are unstoppable, the star of tonight's show, and the only thing that could make it better is a dance with the beautiful stranger sauntering around the club in his perfectly tailored bellbottoms and silky button down shirt like he owns the place. Wanting nothing but the best in your life, you are attuned to the fact that you want him, strategically positioning yourself in the middle of the dance floor as the music plays and meeting his eyes with an inviting stare. With ample confidence and mysterious aura in your arsenal, Park Jimin does not stand a chance once your sights are set, and it is not long before you two find yourselves immersed in each other's company under the flashing lights and the sheer electricity of the evening you've created. You tend to leave people wanting more, so you are not surprised to find the flirty Libra boy in your DMs the next morning. So, when is the next party?

Developing from a flirtatious friendship into something a bit more fun, Leo and Libra are an instant hit. This is a combination of fire and air, with Jimin acting as the wind beneath your sails as the easy, go-with-the-flow, partner in crime for all of your big schemes. Possessing an innate love of beauty, of fantasy, and romance, Jimin provides a level of optimism that your fantastical mind requires - he genuinely believes that there is nothing you cannot accomplish, helping your dreams along to become a reality. A Libra's extremely affable, adoring nature is like kryptonite to the romantic Leo who does not know the meaning of too much praise. It is no surprise when these two meet it is nothing short of a whirlwind relationship, with Jimin doting on your every wish without hesitation. The combination of Jimin's Libra Sun and Gemini Mercury makes him expertly aware of how to charm you, giving you exactly what you need at the right time. A true people-pleaser, you are delighted to find Jimin highly amenable to your emotions and desires, wanting nothing more than to ensure you are content. When you feel the genuine nature of this person that simply wants you to be happy - and unwavering loyalty of his Gemini moon - you are able to fully let down the walls posed by your more mysterious, reserved Scorpio rising that initially avoids vulnerability so soon. As Leo and Libra falls in love, there is an infinite level of romance and adoration. Suddenly, you find that you are in fact a hopeless romantic, loving being that sickening couple that sits next to each other in the corner of wine bars. He helps you slow down to access a more sensual side of your sign, your fingers intertwined underneath the table in a playful exchange while his hands graze your thigh despite. Jimin's Gemini Mercury allows for a bit of mystery and impulsivity, and there is something exciting to you about not knowing what you're going to get from him on any given day - while he can easily seduce you, is more than happy to let your more assertive Aries Moon take control when the mood strikes.

While Leo and Libra are typically quite compatible, there are some underlying issues presented by your charts. While you enjoy Jimin's free-flowing nature and desire to please, you become unsettled when this behavior is not just limited to you. His eagerness to please makes him quite susceptible to peer pressure, something that you simply cannot relate to with your heightened sense of independence. When he shows up late for date night, flushed and tipsy after a couple of extra rounds with the boys, you grow less amused by this side of his persona which you begin to see as inherently weak. Additionally, his moody, sensitive Moon in Gemini combined with a Venus in Scorpio makes him an especially possessive partner, not fully allowing you to be the social butterfly you are at your core and also requiring a level of affection and attention that you cannot always provide. When you feel that your needs are not being met to the level you expect, your Leo bluntness alongside the sting of your Scorpio rising are likely to hurt the softer Libra who is effectively allergic to criticism or discomfort in their personal and romantic lives, causing him to retreat. This only serves to exacerbate the problem, leading you to end the relationship on a swift and final note.

Always on the move and averse to any type of wallowing, Leo Sun/Aries Moons are constantly ideating, creating new ways to have fun and enjoy life to the fullest. You are truly the architect of your life, moving on your own terms which often leads you in the pursuit of food, travel, music or any other experience wherein you can connect on a sensory level with the world around you. Travel to another city for a concert? Consider tickets booked. Try a foreign cuisine completely unknown to you? Why not! Your friends are more than happy to go along for the ride, knowing that wherever you're going is where they want to be. You enjoy activities which showcase your profoundly adventurous, spirited nature. Independent and proud, you adore a challenge but not known for asking for help even when you need it say, during your first foray into rock climbing experience at a facility in the mountains. Despite your assuredness that you've got this (you don't!) it is when you're stuck midway through the advanced wall you insisted on climbing that a pair of big, strong hands are firmly grabbing the harness around your waist and steadily guiding you back down to earth. Before you can even process all that just occurred, your eyes widen at the sight of the gorgeous man in front of you shaking his head in disapproval. "You weren't listening to my instructions at all, were you?" His words are stern, but his eyes bright and lips pursed into a smile as he senses your competitiveness. In true Leo form you're soon able to charm your way out of what potentially could have been a lawsuit, enjoying taking to the smoke show who reintroduces himself as Kim Seokjin before explaining the basics you so diligently ignored. Impressed, you remain composed despite the incredible visual of Jin swiftly scaling the wall with ease. Like this, see? Our Sagittarius Jin is not always extroverted, but certainly has the confidence to ask for what he wants, and it's not long before he's proposing a 1:1 lesson in the very near future. Your Scorpio rising knows to play it cool but also when to seize an opportunity, and undoubtedly this one is too good to pass up.

This is a duo that may play a few games in the early phases of dating, but one ignited there is no extinguishing this spark.  Jin's Sagittarius Sun is an ideal match for your Leo Sun as you share a warm, good-natured aura that you exude in every area of your life - its one of your signature qualities that you find most attractive in yourself and others. While there is a lot of ego in this pairing - both of you aware of your individual greatness but also in each others - you find a true partner matching your profound level of adventure, curiosity, and genuine experiences. This manifests itself in somewhat of a condensed dating phase, equipped with elaborate dates wherein the sky truly is the limit. Such a fiery countless hours together bonding over both new and shared interests - think skiing in Aspen, racing on a closed-course, a food tour of Rome - allowing them to show off their own skills while igniting their competitive fire while learning something new. Initially there is likely to be more of an investment in fun than an emotional commitment - a Sagittarius's specialty - and were it not for your other placements this could easily dissolve into a longstanding friends-with-benefits or fun summer fling. Luckily, your compatibility is deepened exponentially by several specific pairings that overlap and compliment each other. Two Moons in Aries are equally ambitious, fair, independent and honest, and you both take pride in this character trait that you are so appreciated for and allows you to be extremely successful in work and your social circles. Once you begin to explore the "why" behind your ambition - your desire for connection, improving humanity, making an impact - you are both able to open up into a deeper level of emotional understanding that few others get to access.

It is here that you find true romance, with his Venus in Capricorn appealing to your sensitive, dreamy, and romantic Pisces rising/Leo Sun. True to your Leo brand, you also need to be praised, worshipped and adored. You rule with your emotions, so acting up out of sheer passion is not unlike you. Not everyone can handle this wide range of emotions, but adaptable Jin is up for the task. He is perfectly able to navigate your moods, with the patience of a saint combined with a Mercury is in Scorpio which makes him extremely observant and strategic in terms of his communication. There is no staying mad with a Sagittarius (no matter how annoying he may be) as his need to move forward at a rapid clip makes it nearly impossible for problems to fester too long. With Venus in Capricorn there displays of grandiose affection you adore: two dozen roses at your door just because, renting out your favorite restaurant for a private meal on a random weeknight, a fully packed suitcase at the edge of your bed with an accompanying note. Madrid tomorrow morning? This is a couple that fucks like rabbits, often beginning the foreplay long before they reach the bedroom. He certainly enjoys watching you slink around the room at any party or event, entertaining the crowd with your charm and basking in the limelight, looking absolutely stunning in a dress he's gifted you. There is an air of excitement as the night goes on, knowing full well that he will be the one that has his hands all over you as soon as you get home. Its likely that the two of you get off on being the power couple that nobody can get enough of, and even more satisfying is that is just comes so naturally to you - there is no faking this level of chemistry! A mutually impulsive nature exists at the core of this dynamic, meaning you may not wait until you get home (why would you, when there's a car?)

Fiercely independent and fast-paced, more than anything you need someone who can both keep up with you and challenge you as well. Jin the Archer is notoriously hard to lock down, seeking someone who will let him be his fully adventurous, fun-loving self, and he successfully finds that in the equally on-the-go Leo. Your sensitive Leo thinks funny guy Jin may initially be a bit over-the-top in his playful teasing of you, enjoying pressing your buttons a little bit, but over time you learn that this is simply how a Sag shows love. It is this highly humorous element of his personality that opens you up to access a more playful and lighthearted side of yourself that embraces your humanity and flaws without taking them too personally. Together, Leo and Sag guide and drive each other in your respective careers, acting as partners and confidantes, while innately understanding the others need for space like few others can. At the core, this pairing has a strong foundation of friendship upon which everything else is built, creating a very open and respectful relationship which allows the other to stay true to their deeper selves without fear of judgement for being "too much". The life created between this pairing is one of fun, great wealth through your many successful enterprises, and the strongly rooted presence of family. Fiery, bold, passionate selves, this pair grows even stronger as they move through life together, inevitably making their mark on the world through charitable and culture contributions with their infectiously energetic personals and uniquely creative minds.

[dent-de-leon]

I’m antish/eith in part because Keith has to grow up. Shiro—er, Kuron—is hindering his development just by being there. I hope they can resolve this issue soon.

To be honest, I don’t understand this concept. And I’ve heard it before. This idea that Shiro is just a stepping stone for Keith, or even worse–that he’s holding him back. If you only have one friend, if you’ve been abandoned and turned on all your life, if you had only one person you can count on, a single constant, is it “growing up” to give them up? “My life would be a whole lot different without you.” “Shiro is the one person who never gave up on me, I won’t give up on him.” Shiro didn’t make Keith’s life worse, he changed it for the better. 

Before Shiro, Keith had nothing. No one. He was abandoned by his parents. He lived in fear of abandonment because, as he says, “Maybe, I’m naturally untrusting because my mom left me? And so, instead of accepting people into my life, I push them away before they reject me. I guess I have some walls up…” Shiro and the garrison were likely all he had. We know this is true, because after Shiro disappears, Keith leaves. He isolates himself in the desert for a year, because he has nothing left to lose. 

I see people say that Keith needs to “get over Shiro” all the time, that somehow him falling for Lance would be far more meaningful development because being “too close” to someone, sharing in unconditional love and support, is supposedly childish or wrong. When Keith gets kicked out of the garrison–an orphan with no home, no remaining family, someone who had just lost his only friend in an incredibly tragic incident, Lance’s reaction is to do a victory dance. He’s all excited that Keith’s out of the way and he can further his own piloting career. “Hasta la later, Keith!” 

Meanwhile, that boy’s wondering the desert, feeling completely lost and alone. I highly doubt Keith’s the only one that has some growing up to do here, and I refuse to believe losing his only long term support was “helpful.” We’ve seen firsthand what happens when he loses Shiro. 

Spiraling into depression isn’t healthy. Watching Keith break down and mourn and grieve all over again, push himself further away from the team and throw himself headlong into danger with reckless abandon, I don’t think anyone can say that’s progress. When Shiro disappears, Keith takes to talking to Black like he’s communicating with Shiro through her. Everyone else calls her the Black Lion. Rather than acknowledge her as a separate entity, Keith says things like, “I know this is what you wanted for me, Shiro. But I’m not you. I can’t lead them like you.” And, “This one’s for you, Shiro.” He latches onto Black as an attempt at clinging onto what little of Shiro he has left. Keith wasn’t healing or growing into a “better” person. He was suffering the entire time. 

So let’s talk about what Shiro has done for Keith’s development, because the answer is–way more than anybody else. We’ve already established that, in Keith’s own words, Shiro has 1) Completely changed his life, and 2) Has been the only person to never abandon him. Not Lance. Not Allura. Not Team Voltron. Just Shiro. When Keith goes through his BOM trial, arguably one of his paramount moments of character development, who spurs that growth and change? Shiro. Shiro was the one by his side the entire time, the one he desperately wanted to see, the person who came rushing to his aid immediately. 

There’s a reason none of the other paladins appear to tempt Keith. It’s because his bond with Shiro was always what mattered most, the most tempting lure his mind could offer. And it’s how much he cares for Shiro that becomes his salvation as well. “Nothing was worth Shiro’s pain.” That’s why he gives up the knife and is able to awaken his blade. 

Or, let’s talk about season 3, how Keith only pilots the Black Lion to honor Shiro’s wishes, how he’s the one we feel Shiro’s loss through, how he’s searching for a way to save him the entire time. How there are numerous parallels between sheith and zaggar, how their storylines inevitably intertwine, echoing a tragedy of 10,000 years ago as they tempt the same fate. Let’s talk about how Keith and Shiro’s bond is one of the main overarching themes, as is Keith’s devoted loyalty to Shiro, his vow to save him “As many times as it takes,” just like how Zarkon risks everything to save Haggar before him.

Or, let’s talk about Keith’s galra nature. How Shiro was the only one who accepted him without question and immediately showed his unconditional support. Let’s talk about how he’s been helping Keith embrace his identity long before that. How galra suffer from very volatile, painfully, viscerally intense emotions. How Keith was unequipped to handle those feelings, never grew up with essential coping mechanisms. How it was Shiro who was able to help him remain calm and taught him vital coping methods to stave off sensory overload. As Lauren clarified, these volatile emotions are an inherently galran trait, and it’s understandable that this would cause immense stress and meltdowns. Shiro was the only one able to alleviate that pain, to try and help anchor Keith and teach him how to cope:

Joaquim: “[Keith] latches onto Shiro at times because Shiro’s sort of the only thing that can really calm him down and keep him in check.” (source). 

Lauren: “It’s kind of exasperated by the fact that Shiro’s gone. Like he’s having a hard time dealing with it, he doesn’t really know how to feel. And I think he just goes back to that inner part of himself where it’s just—he can’t control his emotions. And that comes from the galra side.” (source). 

Similarly, Alfor mentions that Honerva really “softened up” Zarkon. In much the same way, Shiro was able to help Keith. And we know those grounding methods really stuck with him and continue to be helpful over a year later, because Keith still uses them when he’s overwhelmed. That’s why his mantra is “Patience yields focus.” “That really stayed with you, didn’t it?” It did, and it meant more to Keith than he could say. In light of all that, I don’t see how Shiro’s just “holding him back.”

Or, let’s consider season 4, and how a big part of why Keith even left the team was for Shiro’s sake. Because he believed in Shiro. Or, to quote one of my previous meta:

Just like he’s always believed. “Shiro, you are the rightful leader of this team. And you proved it today by reconnecting with the Black Lion. It was always meant to be yours.” A good portion of the reason why he even distanced himself from the team in the first place is because he refuses to take Shiro’s place away from him, because he still believes in him more than anything. And that’s directly stated on the show–“He can finally be the leader I was unable to be. I’m not meant to pilot the Black Lion.” “Is that why you’ve been pulling away from us?” 

To say that Shiro has stunted Keith’s character development when he’s proven to be a major catalyst for a lot of Keith’s growth and motives is just…incredibly counterintuitive. Even more so when you consider that having Keith lose Shiro for good would go against the heart and soul of the story. Zarkon was very attached to Honerva as well, and he ended up making a poor decision that caused a lot of destruction. But the point isn’t “you have to give up on the people you love” or “you have to make these kinds of sacrifices.” That was never the point. Because Keith already lost Shiro twice. He never properly moved on from the grieving phase during Kerberos. If the lesson he needed to learn was, You have to let Shiro go, then why have Keith painfully endure the entire mourning process again just to ultimately tear Shiro away from him?

Keith having someone to believe in isn’t childish. He doesn’t need to grow out of trust. Quite the contrary, the fact that he was able to open up so much to Shiro at all represents some much needed, monumental character development. He tenses up when others hug him, but with Shiro he melts. He and Shiro allow each other to see vulnerabilities they never bare to anyone else. Keith has lived his whole life shoving others away in fear of rejection. To say that he needs to let go of the one person he loves and trusts unconditionally, the single person that Keith’s let down all his walls around–that’s a severe loss of character development. As is trying to teach him the lesson that he’ll never be happy, that he must always sacrifice again and again, that there’s no way for love to win. “As many times as it takes.” He’s staying with Shiro until the very end. That’s who he is. 

And Shiro’s so much more than just a stepping stone for Keith. He’s his own person too, and he and Keith mutually rely on one another even when torn apart by the universe.

[somefinelipstickonthatpig]

Random question because I feel like it: What is it about Sorey/Mikleo that really makes you like them so much? (Just curious, because I love them too!)

this is a difficult question to answer, at least for me. it’s not so much “there’s so much i love about them” or “what isn’t to love about them?” (although both are true). it’s more that i almost feel defensive answering.

i love this ship because sorey and mikleo feel like real people, and their relationship feels real. they care deeply about each other, and the game goes out of its way (moreso than the anime does) to make it explicit that they will do anything for each other.

i’ve read before that they were intended to be canon, but the producers felt the need to censor their relationship because they were worried about the potential negative feedback from the japanese audience. (not to say that they wouldn’t have had any negative feedback from their american / european audience, but that they felt justified in leaving it implied; it’s not so much gay-baiting as it was censored). [if anyone wants a source on that, you’ll have to give me some time; i’m typing this out right before i go to work.]

and i feel defensive answering this because of all of the zestiria fans who deny that sorey and mikleo had any romantic implications whatsoever. because of the way the anime has treated these two (and sorey in particular), and the way the anime is fueling them. i know i’m not justifying myself to those people (who i would go so far as to describe as homophobic – it’s like the people that deny yuuri and viktor from yuuri on ice were meant to be a couple; they are forcing straightness upon these two gay boys), but it feels that way.

okay, anyway, sorry for how personal that got. here’s some cute things i love about them:

they sleep in the same bed together. they wake up in the morning to each other’s face.

their love is eternal; mikleo waits thousands of years for sorey to wake up, and he greets him with a smile

sorey and mikleo cook for each other, and they enjoy doing it

they enjoy every moment they have together, even when times are hard

they only have eyes for each other; neither of them are shown to have feelings toward other characters, nor are they shown to ever be flustered by other characters or their partial nudity (lookin’ at you, hot spring skit)

they trust each other; even in instances that some couples might be looking to see signs of cheating, they don’t. sorey lets alisha sleep in his bed and mikleo doesn’t see an issue. alisha and sorey have a scene that lailah misinterprets, and mikleo never brings it up. (i wish i had more examples of vice versa, but mikleo just doesn’t have any instances like that with the ladies that i can think of)

ok that’s all i’m gonna say. i love them a lot, though, and their relationship means a lot to me. even if it is fictional. :^)

- mod eli

To add on to what Eli said, yes, one of the main reasons I love Mikleo and Sorey so much is their believability, which also in turn makes them so relatable.

They’re real and genuine together. They’re not forced and they don’t feel fake; their relationship and timeless friendship feels authentic. They have similar interests, but different opinions. They have different personalities and different likes and dislikes, but they grew up together. In fact, I think that’s one of my favorite details about them--the fact that they are literally childhood buddies who grew up to go on this incredile journey together. Like, it’s so endearing. How could they not love each other more than anything else in the world?? Especially after all they share together?

Honestly, they’re a breath of fresh air?? Their personalities combine so easily. Sorey’s bouyant enthusiasm and compassion--and Mikleo’s more reserved thoughtfulness and loyalty. And compound that with all of the memories and experiences they already share together that make them know the other so intimately and deeply, despite how different they are in character, and which makes them trust each other like the very air they breathe. All of that rings so inherently of all my favorite childhood romances. I adore them.

I love their togetherness. I love their unity. I love how much they care for each other. I love how dependable they are to one another.

I love all the little things, too:  that they cook for each other. That they live together. That they read together. That they explore together. That they journey together. That they fight together. That they dream together (which was a huge focal point of the entire game that the anime seems to have forgotten about). They do literally everything together; how can that not be romantic?

They’re so inherently and easily intertwined that they easily are one of my top favorite pairings of all time. 

Just saying.

- Mod Krissey

[kog0ruhn]

Hadyn is dead. Sort of.

Though born in the Windswept Plateau, Hadyn has spent most of his life as a ne’er-do-well in the crevasses and cliff faces of the Greatwyrm’s Breach. Notorious in his true life as one of the “Great Four”--a sort of underground elite of brigand society--he commanded an expansive and effective ring of cutthroats that did well for themselves by attacking, robbing, and occasionally stringing up wealthy pilgrims wandering Dragonhome who happened to take a wrong turn. To say that he and his wife, Damiana, made a killing would have been an understatement. And a joke made in very poor taste.

Their luck ran out when he crossed the wrong dragon: the necromancer, Dahaka. Though frail and delicate in appearance, the Fae was anything but weak. Having experimented with Shade-based occultism, Dahaka found himself corrupt and hungering for power beyond what the Arcanist would ever dream of granting him. Fearful of being found out, he tasked his underlings with uprooting his lab in the Starfall Isles and moving it to Dragonhome under the guise of a band of pious pilgrims on their way to the Pillar.

They never made it so far. Seeing their rather conspicuous wagon full of treasures from  a foreign land, Hadyn ordered his men to fall upon it like a clan of ravenous hyenas. Not one of Dahaka’s followers escaped alive, and every scrap of research material and magical artifact was taken to be divvied up between Hadyn’s own. He kept the most impressive artifact for himself: a necromantic medallion inscribed with ancient spells that Hadyn believed would fetch a handsome sum.

Then, word got back to Dahaka. He was not very pleased to hear of the loss of his hard-earned research and relics, to say the very least. The foul sorcerer resolved to recover his stolen artifacts at any and all costs.

Hadyn doesn’t remember much of his murder. He remembers that he was about to ambush a band of merchants and then, suddenly, there was a cold wind, a bright flash, and he was set upon by a veritable army of the undead. Whether the merchants were reanimated before or after the brilliant light that blinded him is even a mystery, though the end result was clear enough: his band of brigands scattered, the bulk of them were killed, and he ended up being murdered while trying to encourage his wife to flee.

With a swipe of his assailant’s brilliant claws, a good chunk of his throat found itself relocated about a meter away. It was not pleasant.

Everything went dark pretty much immediately. There was no time, there was no light, though he can remember the faint scent of cold air and a voice that thrummed through him like the beginnings of an earthquake. The words exchanged were meaningless and immediately forgotten, spoken in nothing he could understand. The smell, however, haunted his nostrils when he woke up on the bloodied ground of an undead-infested battlefield, overpowering the rancid stench of decay and copper.

His throat? Intact, if heavily scarred. His voice? A gravelly remnant of what it had been. His wife? Huddling with hunters, but alive. His complexion? Well, he had seen better days.

Curiously, he also found himself to no longer be attuned with the elemental magic he wielded as a brigand. Instead, almost everything he did revolved around hexes, blood, and necromancy. What a strange thing to discover he could inherently conjure the undying to do his bidding, though he prefers not to. They make him a mite uncomfortable.

Confused by this turn of events but relieved to have another chance, Hadyn decided to turn his life around and help the disenfranchised orphans of Sornieth with all of his ill-gotten gains. He became a local legend and fathered dozens of children with his beloved wife, extending a charitable hand wherever he was needed. The denizens of a small village of Snappers at the far reaches of the Shattered Plains built a hero-shrine to him and a holiday centered around his generosity is now celebrated on every winter Solstice alongside the emergence of the Nocturnes.

The Hunt for Dahaka

Ha, no, but really. He decided to track Dahaka down across Sornieth and tear his wings off.

His search led him from Cairnstone Rest to the Scarred Wasteland to the Viridian Labyrinth and the Southern Icefield. He looped around the continent countless times with Damiana always on his heels, finally landing amidst a massive battle at the foot of the Pillar of the World. The dragon he once knew as an Arcane Fae was now parading around as a Plague Mirror named Hashakgik, a feat accomplished through twisted rituals that drew the essence of the Shade out of the ether. Hadyn watched in awe and anger as the dragon he meant to slaughter was unceremoniously knocked clear off the mortal coil by his own dark, shadowy pawn.

It was quite the way to go. It looked painful and satisfying. But still. That was meant for him.

Rather than immediately leave, Hadyn staked out The Abandoned in the aftermath of the struggle, watching as dragons floundered in the wastes and struggled to put the pieces back together. Entire clans were seemingly decimated, homes destroyed, nests ruined, and the survivors were shaken and weak. They would have been the perfect prey and it would have been quite easy to revert back to his old ways, save for one thing.

Mia. She was a brilliant dragon made of pure light and radiating peace, a dragon that Hadyn had never seen before in his entire life. Yet, he was transfixed on her, the feeling of deja vu so strong that it became an obsession. He knew her from somewhere, he hadto know her from somewhere. And more than knowing her, he felt immediately drawn to her, like their destinies were intertwined in a way he never would have thought possible. When even Damiana began to express interest in her--likewise convinced that she knew her from somewhere--Hadyn swallowed down his anger and ill-intent and initiated contact.

Mia’s eyes glowed with delight upon their meeting.

She announced, proudly, that after so many years, she had finally found her Charge.

The Graveborn

The pieces fell into place after that, one after another.

Mia was one of the Myrian Six, a group of adventurers who had split into two following a rather nasty happening in the Hewn City. One, he learned, which was organized by the dragon he had known as Dahaka and The Abandoned had known as Hashakgik. Like Hadyn, they had spent an inordinate amount of time trying to track him down, a feat that proved nigh impossible due to his ability to shapeshift. At the forefront of the Six was Ne’Aht, a Pearlcatcher necromancer who had succeeded in trailing a certain train of “pilgrims” through Dragonhome that bore the seal of their nemesis’ lab.

Pilgrims that Hadyn later robbed, causing a chain reaction of events that nearly flushed the morpher out of hiding.

Ne’Aht had staked out Hadyn’s men thinking Hadyn might have been Dahaka. When Dahaka sent an army of undead to liberate his possessions, it was Ne’Aht who reanimated Hadyn by borrowing some of Mia’s healing power to, essentially, bring him back fully from the dead. With Mia’s magic coursing through his veins, it was no wonder he felt so instantly attached to the Guardian. In time, his loyalty to her grew.

Now trusted enough to run her clan in her stead, Hadyn now acts as the figurehead for the steadily growing ranks of what once was the Myrian Six, now known as “The Graveborn” in his honor. It’s a strange place to be but, if he could wrangle a crew of murderous thieves, running a clan of reasonable dragons will be a cakewalk. Right?

Personality

Hadyn is a curious critter.

Though he radiates necromantic magic and speaks like he swallowed glass, he has a strange sort of charisma that attracts people to him. While he tends to solve his problems with violence, others can’t help but be wooed by his silver tongue and his charming sense of humor. Be it lady or (as he prefers) man, he tends to be followed by an entourage of curious, infatuated clinger-ons that he keeps around to mostly boost his ego.

To those who have earned his respect, however, Hadyn is an intensely loyal ally and a very dedicated leader. Those who serve under him never cease to be surprised by the lengths he’ll go to to ensure their well-being and success, even to the extent of losing his own life once upon a time. Even those who disagree with his past and tendencies can’t help but admire the trait, grumbling from afar about how much they loathe him but secretly wishing him success. Talons are constantly crossed that his ill-breeding will one day leave him.

But not all is good. In private, Hadyn is a troubled dragon, physically ailing from his reanimation and struggling to keep tabs on the ones he cares about. While he now has a very cavalier attitude toward his own death, he fears for those around him, especially his wife. He has a need to control every aspect of those around him, an urge born of paranoia that he struggles to keep buried deep, deep in the back of his mind. Though his moral compass is extremely skewed, he has a lingering fear of driving the closest to his heart away from him through means of manipulation and abuse in his attempts to keep them safe, secure, and always under his watchful eye.

Eventually, it’ll heal. He won’t be as scared of loss. At least that’s what his wife says, and she’s always right.

… Right?

[livinginachickflick]

Jake Carter - First Love and First Heartbreak

   There’s this Drake song that says, “I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.” These lyrics are the most accurate way of describing what happened with Jake Carter. Jake Carter is the one that started my streak of bad luck in the love department.

Jake and I met in elementary school. We were in the same accelerated class in fourth grade. At the time, I was an outsider compared to the other girls who were girly and was bullied by a couple girls because of it. I was the girl that always hung out with the boys, during class, lunch, recess, on field trips, everything. These boys did not care whether I wore a skirt or khaki pants. They did not care if I braided my hair or just let it cover half of my face. They did not care that I prefered to play sword fighting instead of play with barbies. These guys accepted me into their group of friends and just let me be. I was friends with all of them, but one boy in particular was different than the rest. Jake Carter was that boy. We were close. He was my best friend.

I remember one time, we had a field trip at the state museum, and the class had to split into two groups. Of course, they tried to split us up by gender, but there was not an even amount. As the teacher asked if any of the girls would like to go with the boys, I felt a hand grip mine and raise it. He volunteered me to be in the boy’s group (I would have chosen to anyways). I couldn’t help but to feel some butterflies as our hands intertwined and at the thought that he wanted to be with me.

Picture day was the one day we did not have to wear our uniforms. It was usually taken advantage of by the girly girls who were way too skanky for fourth graders. The popular outfit of choice was a frilly blouse and skirt that was way too short, matched with braided or curled hair and sparkly shoes. By this time, I had already developed a crush on Jake Carter, and I couldn’t help but to believe that he felt the same. I wanted to dress nice to catch his attention, but not in the same way the other girls were. I clipped my hair back, wore some of my mom’s eyeliner, and a simple black blouse and pants. Not sparkly compared to the other girls, but it was my style. I remember walking into class and having everybody stare at me. Me. The girl who wore khaki pants, a plain collared shirt, and the same hoodie nearly everyday, for one day, was the one to look at. As I scoured the room for the only pair of eyes that mattered to me, mine were met with the icy blue eyes that I grew familiar with, matched with a face of utter shock and amazement. As I approached our adjacent desks, he smiled and called me beautiful.

Later in the year, I was told that my family would be moving to another state because my dad got military orders somewhere else. I saddened me so much that I refused to go on the last day of school. I could not say goodbye. (I know. I know. I was a dramatic fourth grader.)

FAST FORWARD YEARS AND YEARS FROM FOURTH GRADE

Throughout the years, we were friends on Facebook, but we never spoke. One night, I was going to a dance and got all fancied up in makeup, a red dress, heels. I took a picture before I left the house and posted it. I came home to a bunch of notifications from the post. As I scrolled down reading all of the comments that were mostly from grandparents, aunts, and uncles, one comment caught my eye. He commented on my picture “You look beautiful.” The butterflies from years ago came back. We began talking, texting, and messaging. We became closer than ever before. A family member whom I was very close to died a few months before. Their death really changed my attitude for the worst, but Jake somehow brought back the happiness and hope I once had.

Our feelings for each other progressed super fast, and I was fine with it. I even asked my parents permission if we could date, but they did not approve of the relationship at all. So, we started secretly dating, but it was hard because it was a long distance relationship. Our whole relationship was based on looking forward to the future when we planned to be with each other in person. We promised each other that once we finished with our education, we would be together. We promised each other that we would wait for each other. We promised each other that we would be abstinent until we were with each other again. (Hint hint). We promised to stay faithful and loyal to each other. None of these promises were kept.

He was my first “love” and first boyfriend. Although, when we were together, it was near perfect. Near the end, everything changed.

An old friend of ours, Maya, heard of our relationship and randomly messaged me. She mentioned that after I moved, she was the one who kept Jake company and that they could have dated. I felt as if she was trying to send a message to scare me into backing off. (As you continue reading my blogs, it will become very clear to you that I value faithfulness, loyalty, and honesty. When people I trusted reveal that they are not those things, they inherently declare war against me. They become my enemy. Another thing you should know about me is that I am VERY territorial and protective of what is mine, whether that be space, food, friends, and especially guys.) So, naturally, I put her in her place with a few threats and curse words. I believe the message was received.

   After that happened, I grew curious as to why Jake never told me about how he and one of our former friends “could have dated” and how “close” they were. I simply asked him about it, and he admitted that they were friends, but he was never going to date her. So, I shrugged it off for the time being.

I’ll admit, the whole situation made me paranoid because I did not want anything to threaten the great relationship I thought he and I had. So, being the territorial protective girlfriend, I was on high alert.

One day, I noticed that he was friends with one of my family friends over there. So, I texted her and asked her how she knew him and turns out they go to the same school. Okay, that’s fine. Totally platonic. So, I told her about our relationship.

Guess what she told me, guys? She said that this boy, the same dang boy that promised faithfulness and to wait for me, was flirting and being very touchy (hint hint) with a certain new girl at their school. As I read those words, tears filled my eyes. It felt like my whole world was crashing down. Yes, I was sad,but I was more angry at the one person who destroyed it. Jake Carter. I was furious and heartbroken, but I needed to hear what he had to say. So, I confronted him. He admitted that everything was true. It seemed like he had no shame. So, I broke up with him. I could not trust him anymore. He begged for me to give him another chance, but I stood my ground.

The worst thing you could do to me is breaking whatever trust I had in you. I didn’t know who this new girl was, nor did I care. It did not matter. What mattered was that Jake was full of crap. Everything. Every “I love you”. Every “I promise”. Everything was complete bullcrap.

Drake was right. Your first love is the best, but, when that turns into a heartbreak, it’s also the worst.