#after all the gay innuendo sam what are you imPLYING

[jensensitive]

i'm doing a drowley rewatch, and i'm only on the second episode, but sam just said "because we trust him now?? Like I trusted Ruby??" ahhHHHDSJHSD??

[ardentpoop]

If it's okay to ask: what are your thoughts on meg and sexual assault? I really dislike the way a lot of people on here talk about it (and meg, especially meg 2.0, in general) so I wanted to hear your view on it if you'd like to share!

not totally sure if you mean you’re bothered by how people discuss meg as a perpetrator or meg as a victim, because one could easily argue both. there are obvious allusions to rape re: meg possessing sam’s body in BUABS (just as every possession arc incorporates allusions to rape - most notably sam’s as he is at the heart of the majority of these arcs and also because well. The Roles.) and there are also of course the scenes where meg gets grabby with both sam and dean as a show of force.

I’m gonna assume however that you’re referring to people speaking about meg 2.0 in a demeaning manner and not recognizing the excessive misogynistic violence she is subjected to as a character, because come on. I know what this fandom is like. the two key episodes that come to mind for me are “caged heat” and “goodbye stranger.” gonna share some dialogue excerpts to get my point across, but you could even just count how many times dean refers to meg as a “bitch” in caged heat because it is frankly impressive that the writers (this one was tag-teamed by a duo and neither of them are familiar names) were so committed to it in just the one episode.

[caged heat]

notes on the above excerpts:

as with all demons who inhabit female vessels meg’s sexuality is a main ingredient of her characterization as a villain. she speaks overwhelmingly in slimy innuendo and flirtatious-quips-as-insults, she forcefully kisses and touches sam and dean without their consent, she is frequently referred to as a “whore” accordingly. it’s worth noting however that although in this episode meg weaponizes her sexuality (as expected for every character like her) against samndean while she supposedly has them tied up at her mercy, it is soon revealed that meg cannot actually harm samndean and is on the run from crowley - the brothers have the upper hand and her threats are ultimately empty. meg’s power is taken from her at the very start of this episode.

compare meg being tortured by crowley’s henchman to crowley being tortured by meg moments later within the same episode. she is naked and strapped down, she is being assaulted with a knife. the dialogue smacks you over the head with implied rape, as if the scene wasn’t brutal enough on its own. what does crowley get in return from meg, when he greets her as “whore” immediately after this assault scene? he gets to writhe around a bit on the floor, fully-clothed of course. “the best torturers never get their hands dirty,” huh? convenient!

on top of all this we for some reason also needed cas testing out his Porn Tricks on meg - which, don’t get me wrong, I’ve always kind of had a weird soft spot for megstiel (gay edit), but you have to admit that the timing and the context rankles. recurring Woman Character who doesn’t serve as a love interest or sexual interest for one of the boys is very hard to come by around here.

[goodbye stranger]

robbie thompson committed many sins with this (tbfh) godawful episode but what I want to point out here specifically is the continuation of meg being victimized by crowley. with bonus treat of sam being spoken to in the same sexually demeaning manner, as I suppose is only fair and right when both meg and sam were given the “wait outside while the men take care of business, frail maiden” treatment because thompson could not resist an opportunity to serve up dstiel bait that interfered with the structure and logic of the episode as well as with dean’s (and meg’s!) characterization.

TL;DR yeah uh the fans never talk about any of this because they’re too high on dstiel fumes to critique anything about the writing if they’re getting their tasty tasty little flavorless morsels from the like 3 guys on the writing team who were willing to feed them.

sorry for being mean but not really bc you guys are so annoying and dense about the already horrifically mistreated female characters on this show. wish I knew specifically what types of meg takes you don’t like anon so I could confirm whether they’re the ones that are a product of people despising female characters who “get in the way.”

[revisitedgrunt]

Harley and Ivy.

A new fans thoughts on this relationship and the Harley Quinn comic: Part 1 of 4.

On a whim I picked up Harley Quinn: Volume 1: Hot in the City, last month.  I thought it was fantastic and immediately brought volumes 2 - 6.  I've just now read issue 63 and I'm caught up with the current run. 

I absolutely loved the 2013-2016 run.  It's probably the most consistently good run of comics I've ever read.  Amanda Connor and Jimmy Palmiotti do an absolutely amazing job.  I loved the way they wrote Harley, I loved the supporting characters, I loved the location and I loved every story.

Their time on the current run was also phenomenal.  I had a great time reading issues 1 to 34.  Frank Teiri's short run was fine and Sam Humphries work... I'll come back to that later.

I had heard that there were Harley/Ivy shippers, but, to be honest, I thought it was an unsubstantiated ship.  Fan's shipping them because they thought they looked cute together and not because there was anything of substance there.  I was very wrong,

Ivy is introduced in issue 2, very, very early in the series.  In her very first appearance, her very first interaction with Harley is pretty flirty.

There's talk of kissing, Ivy being cool seeing Harley's beaver, seeming a but disappointed when it's an actual beaver.  Bernie's sexual innuendo to Ivy, bearing in mind the things Bernie says are an extension of Harley's mind.

Yeah, that was a lot for one scene, their very first scene.  I now understood why people shipped them.  However, I wasn't fully on board yet.

Harley and Ivy have a fun adventure saving some animals from a shelter.  Harley decides to adopt them all, and Ivy, thoughtfully, creates a park in Harley's building for the animals.

There's also this scene.  Wow, this scene.

Harley and Ivy spend the night on the beach together, which, to me, seems inherently romantic.  Ivy looking over at Harley and, being so overwhelmed by what she sees, can't help but kiss her and call her “My cute, little psycho.”    That's pretty damn gay.  I'm sure some could argue that it was plutonic, but, come on!  No one does that to someone they only have plutonic feelings for.    

This scene convinced me Ivy loves Harley.  It also happens in Ivy's first appearance.  It seems to me that Amanda and Jimmy wanted to establish this immediately.

In issue 3 we see that Ivy has left Harley some plants, which is very sweet.  

Issue 7 gives us more flirting from Harley.

Issue 15 has a pretty interesting scene.

Harley's upset that she had to cancel her date with Mason and is worried the relationship is over.  Ivy is really supportive and gives her some good advice. Things then turn pretty sexual, pretty quickly.  “Is that your hand?”  “Is that yours?”  “Are you gonna get off?”  “Are you?”.  Oh my god!  Sure, they'd both been drinking, but they weren't drunk.  This scene would seem to indicate that, if nothing else, they have a physical attraction to each other.  

The knock on the door is Mason.  He and Harley reschedule their date and Ivy is happy for her.  I was a bit confused at this point.  Considering Ivy exhibits no hurt or jealously that Harley wants to date someone else, I thought that I was wrong about Ivy's feelings for Harley.    

The Road Trip Special gives us this.

Harley seems very happy that Ivy has taken off her dress.  It's more evidence that Harley is physically attracted to Ivy.

The Road Trip Special also has Ivy being really supportive.  She gives Harley a photo album Harley's dead uncle had kept, and she regrows a dead tree on Harley's aunt and uncles grave.

The Annual has a pretty momentous scene.  Ivy's been locked up in Arkham and Harley goes to break her out.  Harley finds out Ivy has been brainwashed, and this happens.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure this is the first time the two have kissed in the prime canon timeline.  I'm a bit conflicted about this scene.  It would seem to indicate Harley has romantic feelings for Ivy, The sound effect indicates it's a big, passionate kiss, not a peck on the lips.  Harley also cups the back of Ivy's neck, which is an intimate gesture.  In addition, Harley thinks this kiss will cure Ivy, which makes me think about Sleeping Beauty and true love. However, while it's amazing and romantic that Harley thinks this, Ivy isn't an active participant, the two aren't sharing a kiss, which is a little disappointing.

Harley and Ivy have a heart to heart in issue 25.

My immediate take away from this scene is that Harley has no problem whatsoever being naked in front of Ivy.

Ivy expresses a lot of care, concern and respect for Harley.  She doesn't want her to break into Arkham alone, but she respects Harley's decision to do so. After the Joker, this sort of care and respect is exactly what Harley needs.    

Harley talks about the Joker and how she still has some for love for him.  At the same time, the reason she's doing this is she loves Mason.  Harley jokes about Ivy loving her and asks if Ivy wants to feel her up.  Ivy's response made me spit out my drink.  How do they know where that leads?  Just how physical have they got with each other?  Anyway, there is a lot of sexual innuendo here, and with everything that's come before, reinforces the fact that these two are sexually attracted to each other    

A later scene from issue 25 gave me clarity on Ivy's feelings for Harley.

The question “Jealous?” implies that Madame Macabre knows Ivy has feelings for Harley.  This means I was right about Ivy loving Harley.  However, it's also much more than I expected.  Ivy has that special kind of love for Harley. The unselfish kind, where you just want the person you love to be happy, even if they're not with you.  

I really liked Ivy before, this scene made me fall in love with her.  

Ivy continues to be awesome in issue 29.

Despite having limited time, she finds the time to see Harley and make sure she's OK, demonstrating again how caring and supportive she is.  Ivy's also all over Harley, something Harley does not mind.

In case I had any lingering doubts that Harley has a physical attraction for Ivy, she says two things here that confirm it for me.  She expresses disappointment that Ivy can't stay overnight as she could “use the attention.”  Shortly after she tries to convince Ivy to spend the night.  Now, I may have a dirty mind, but it seems to me like Harley is after sex here.  There are several ways Amanda and Jimmy could have worded this to make it less sexual, they didn't do that.

Interestingly, Harley also says she misses Ivy more than Mason.  I don't think she's telling Ivy what she wants to hear, that's not the type of relationship they have.  So, if we take her at her word, she misses Ivy more than a guy she was in love with.  That would seem to be a pretty big hint about how much Harley cares for Ivy.  This, along with the kiss scene in the annual, convinced me that Harley has romantic feelings for Ivy, not just sexual ones.      

So Harley is polyamorous?  Non-monogamous?  She loved Mason and she loved Ivy. She had lines of dialogue that indicted she wanted to sleep with both of them.  Harley and Ivy didn't talk about dating, but Ivy says several times how busy she is, so maybe it's just not the right time for them.  Harley, being non-monogamous and caring about both of them, is happy to date the one who has the time to be in a relationship. Or I could be completely wrong.  

Just a quick word about Mason.  He was fine, obviously a better boyfriend than that Joker, but he was pretty boring and certainly not a standout character.

Issue 30, the last one in the original run, ends with Harley and Ivy sitting in a tree. They are sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.  Yep, Amanda and Jimmy went there.  Subtlety was completely thrown out the window.  Haley and Ivy, sitting in a tree.  Also, Ivy knows Harley isn't furry. Wow!

I cannot express how much I love the 2013-2016 run.  Every issue is so much fun.

It's pretty wild to me how caring, supportive and loving Ivy was the entire run. Amanda and Jimmy immediately establish how much Ivy cares for Harley.  By the end of the run, it's clear to me that Harley has similar feelings. Given how popular these two character are, I have to salute DC for letting them write Harley and Ivy this way.  I'm sure some people could argue that they are just really, really good friends, but when you actually read the comic, they act pretty damn gay.

Thanks for reading. Part 2 will be my thoughts on the current run

[hale-of-stiles-heart]

High school au: sassy gay cas and jock dean

This turned into nerd!Cas more than anything, but I hope you still like it! (also on ao3!)

If the text had come from virtually anyone else, Dean would have immediately thought it was a come-on.

But seeing as it was from none other than Cas, the potentially suggestive statement was mollified into a matter of fact announcement. My siblings will all be out of the house this afternoon. You can come by around four o'clock.

Even knowing who it was from and the exact intent behind the words, Dean couldn't help but let his mind wander to the more provocative side of the message. He was a horny bisexual teenager for God's sake, who could blame him?

Especially since Cas was practically the epitome of sex. He had the dark, tousled hair of someone who had just been thoroughly fucked, the kind of perpetual five o'clock shadow that called to mind some kind of male model.

His eyes, big and bright and impossibly blue, would piercing and analytical. Dean wondered what they would look like when softened by pleasure, the light irises overtaken by his dilated pupils.

His lips were obscenely pink, plump and perfect and unbelievably enticing. They looked slightly chapped, constantly making Dean wonder if they would be rough if he kissed them. Among other things.

Essentially, Cas was like an angel come to Earth, gorgeous and ethereal and hot like burning. The only problem with that was that Cas actually acted like a little angel.

While Dean was a jock in every sense save for the stereotypical stupidity, captain of the football team and a proud grease monkey on the weekends, Cas was the embodiment of a nerd.

He was valedictorian of their class to the surprise of absolutely no one, not even people who deemed themselves too cool to care about class rankings. Dean wasn't sure what exactly Cas' GPA was but he had suspicions that it was near 5.0, if not surpassing it.

Needless to say, Cas was ridiculously smart. Mind-blowingly. Astonishingly. Sometimes overwhelmingly.

He knew about everything from ancient theological theories about the Bible to the most recent breakthroughs in the realm of astrophysics. And boy could he talk about anything and everything in between.

While usually soft-spoken and awkwardly taciturn, enough for people to have mistakenly presumed that he was mute, Cas could talk for hours on end. He just needed someone to spark the conversation.

That was part of the reason why the poor guy had a reputation for being painfully awkward. Of course, it was true and half the time Cas seemed a zebra amongst horses but it still provided fodder for all kinds of nasty rumors.

His heavy involvement in a whole score of school-sponsored clubs deemed nerdy by his peers didn't help, either. In true nerd form, Cas was on the debate team, chess team, and the quiz bowl team.

Hell, Cas even dressed like a nerd. He may not have worn glasses but he constantly showed up to school in button-ups and slacks and shined shoes. He was even known to wear a tie occasionally, sweater vests too.

But none of that mattered to Dean. Well, it did, but it took a backseat to the more important fact that Cas was amazing and Dean had it bad for him.

Which is why, when he received the perfectly innocent text from the dorky little guy, his mind took the expressway straight to a daydream full of depravity and wistful lust. His head immediately filled with all kinds of ideas about what two people could do in a big, empty house.

And not one of those things he imagined had anything to do with studying or tutoring. The latter of which was the only reason Cas was inviting him over in the first place.

While Dean was usually a rather good student himself — he was smart despite what many people expected from him, more than a pretty face who could play football ― he had wound up falling a little behind in English. He had been too busy practicing for the big homecoming game to study for his first big English exam of the school year.

In his defense, football might get him a scholarship that would actually let him go to college while knowing just what exactly Hamlet's tragic flaw was wouldn't. (It was his  inability to act, Cas had informed him.)

Because his grades had started to slip, his uncle Bobby had inquired with the school about getting Dean a tutor. Dean's English teacher had been all too happy to comply, immediately looking into the available student tutors.

Dean had dreaded it, at first. He had been sure that he was going to wind up with some asshole who treated him like dirt just because he wasn't in all honors classes.

But instead, he had been paired up with Cas.

Cas, who was patient and never faulted Dean for occasionally struggling with some of the more difficult aspects of their English curriculum. Cas, who was sweet and quiet and listened to Dean's stories about football despite admitting that he didn't care for sports.

Cas, who somehow managed to make boring plays and mind-numbing poems more interesting than the most recent storylines on Dr. Sexy. Cas, who took time out of his own day to help Dean with his projects even though the school only required him to tutor Dean eight hours a week.

Cas, who shared Dean's secret love of Star Wars and Vonnegut, who vehemently agreed with Dean that Batman was most certainly a superhero. Cas, whose smile had quickly become the most beautiful thing that Dean had ever seen.

Cas, who Dean had completely fallen for.

Which is why Dean had been unexpectedly ecstatic when his English teacher announced that they were adding a project to the curriculum. Because that meant he had another reason to see Cas.

He had already decided on the topic and, with the help from his buddy Charlie, the most computer savvy person he knew, he had already finished the presentation portion.  He just needed to finish the actual paper which gave him the perfect excuse to ask Cas for help.

He had messaged Cas about needing someone to proofread his paper and had, in turn, received Cas' unintentionally innuendo-laden reply.

He had a few hours to kill before four o'clock rolled around, giving him enough time to get some things in order before heading over to Cas' place.

He threw together a couple burgers for lunch, calling Sam down from his room before the little nerd got too engrossed in studying to remember to eat. It was a little disturbing just how similar Cas and Sam were.

Speaking of his tutor, Dean informed his little brother that he would be stopping by Cas' to work on his English problem. With their dad out of town, Dean wasn't too keen on leaving Sam home alone, claiming he would drop Sam off at Bobby's heading to Cas'.

Sam hadn't raised any complaints. He would probably have a blast at Bobby's where he could read all the books in their uncle's makeshift library.

So, after finishing lunch and making sure Sam had everything he would need to spend a few hours at Bobby's, Dean hopped in the shower. He scrubbed off all the dirt and grime from his day, making sure he used the fancy shampoo that Cas had offhandedly mentioned was his favorite.

After drying off, Dean had thrown on some faded jeans and a black t-shirt. And, because he may or may not have had a bit of a kink for the whole jock/nerd thing, he decided to throw on his varsity jacket.

Sam had rolled his eyes at him as they loaded into the Impala, muttering something under his breath about Dean being a horndog. Dean had gotten him back by teasing Sam about the cute new girl in his history class, Jess.

It was a short drive to Bobby's place, the salvage yard only a few blocks away from their house. Bobby and Ellen were there to greet them, Bobby busy working on the engine of his Chevelle.

After promising to pick Sam up before seven and complimenting Ellen's new haircut, Dean started towards Cas' house on the other side of town. It was nestled on the outskirts of the richie rich part of town where assholes like Dick Roman and Crowley lived.

A huge white colonial, the house was big enough to accommodate Cas' scores of siblings and then some. There was a willow tree in the spacious backyard by a wooden bench, a swing hanging from one of the thicker branches.

The street in front of the house was clear, Cas' siblings' cars gone as he had implied they would be. The only vehicle in sight was Cas' ridiculous pimpmobile that was parked in the driveway.

Dean rolled his eyes as he parked in front of the house, putting his baby in park. Grabbing his bookbag and pocketing his keys, Dean climbed out of the Impala and jogged up the stone walkway to the front door.

"Give me a moment, please!" Cas called when Dean knocked on the door, sounding a little flustered. It was kind of adorable. And by kind of, he meant it was beyond adorable and he was seconds away from swooning like a nurse on Dr. Sexy.

When Cas opened the door a minute later, he looked flustered, too. His hair was mussed and his cheeks were slightly flushed, tinged a light shade of pink.

Like the nerd he was, he was wearing a white button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a light gray and blue argyle sweater vest. It was Saturday and he looked runway ready. Fucking typical.

He greeted Dean with a polite smile, moving aside to let him into the foyer. Closing the door behind him, Cas asked, "You need me to proofread your paper, yes?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind," Dean confirmed, following Cas into the living room where they usually studied. The TV was on, the opening credits of some nature documentary about bees playing.

"It's no problem at all," Cas assured him, taking a seat on the couch. He gestured for Dean to do the same as he grabbed the remote from the coffee table. Handing it to Dean, he explained, "Feel free to watch something while I read through your paper."

"No problem, man," Dean replied, already digging through his bag for the rough draft of his paper. He presented it to Cas with a bright smile, disproportionately proud of it.

Pulling a red pen out of his pocket, Cas leaned back against a gray throw pillow, taking the essay from Dean's hands. Crossing his legs, he started reading, absentmindedly chewing on the end of the pen.

Just as absentmindedly, Dean flicked through the channels without even glancing at the screen. His attention was fixated on Cas, from the curve of his slightly stubbled jaw to the soft blue of his pretty eyes.

That was usually how their study sessions went. Cas would look over Dean's work, eyes peeled for any glaring mistakes, while Dean gazed at him dreamily.

Yes, it was pathetic and yes, it was a cliche, but that was the way it was. And it wasn't going to end anytime soon. Especially not if Cas continued to look that freaking good in a sweater vest.

Cas hummed occasionally, nodding his head as he squinted down at the paper, not for the first time making Dean wonder if he needed glasses. He circled a few things with his red pen, probably tiny grammatical errors that would get Dean a few points deducted.

Dean kept staring at him, captivated by every little thing about him. The way he chewed on the end of the pen, the way he smiled softly while reading through Dean's paper, the way he absently swung his foot back and forth in the air.

He was yanked out of his reverie when Cas cleared his throat.

"This is very good, Dean," he announced, flashing Dean a bright smile. Recapping the pen, he tucked it behind his ear and continued, "You make some very good points about Shakespeare. There are a few grammatical errors but they can easily be remedied."

"Yeah?" Dean asked, rubbing the back of his neck. There was something about being the sole focus of Cas' bright blue gaze that never failed to make him flustered.

"Yes," Cas confirmed, nodding enthusiastically. "I don't think you needed me to look over it all. I suppose you no longer need me to tutor you."

"We can still hang out though, right?" Dean squeaked, not even caring how desperate and pathetic he probably sounded.

Cas blinked in surprise, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. He looked adorably confused as he announced, "Of course. But I'm surprised that you want to."

"What? Why?" Dean questioned, tipping his head to the side, a mimicry of Cas' habit.

It was Cas' turn to get flustered, his eyes widening as his cheeks flushed. He turned his head, lowering his eyes to the coffee table that was suddenly fascinating. Scratching his neck, he explained, "Because I'm me and you're you."

"Uh, yeah. That's kinda how life works, dude," Dean replied, beyond baffled.

Cas rolled his eyes before meeting Dean's gaze again. With a self-deprecating laugh, he clarified, "You're a quarterback, Dean. A jock. A 'cool kid'―" Dean tried not to laugh at Cas' air quotes "―I'm just a nerd. A weirdo."

"You're a lot more than that, Cas," Dean argued, feeling rather indignant on Cas' behalf. Someone had to be.

"Then what am I?" Cas inquired with a beleaguered sigh. He looked and sounded exasperated, resigned to his fate.

Sounding more confident than he felt, Dean puffed out his chest and boldly declared, "Well, if you want, you could be my boyfriend."

The result of Dean's words was instantaneous. Cas' jaw actually dropped, his face flushing a deep red. His voice was barely audible as he shakily warbled, "Really?"

"Of course, dude," Dean said, beaming widely. He shifted his hand to lay it over Cas', giving a reassuring squeeze.

As Cas leaned in to shyly peck Dean on the cheek, sweet and chaste and ridiculously nerdy, Dean resolved to send Bobby some flowers.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

If you find the energy and willingness to do so, I'm super interested in why you don't agree with Dean being a closeted queer person. (Not trying to start anything, I'm genuinely interested.)

Sure! Well, “closeted” is a word that I don’t find particularly fecund in an analysis, or in general, because "being closeted” has meaning in relation to something - like, for instance, you’re closeted to your parents, you’re closeted in your workplace, you’re closeted to everyone outside of the internet, you’re closeted to people you’re not very close to, etc. And sure, you can be closeted to everyone on the planet, but if you exclude people who haven’t told a single soul, there is no such thing as “being in the closet” in an absolute sense. You can come out to one person and you’re not in the closet in relation to them, but still in the closet in relation to everyone else. You can come out to literally everyone you have ever had a conversation with, but technically, unless you’re going around with a t-shirt that says “I’m queer”, you are “in the closet”, as in “not out”, to a person you’re meeting or getting to know for the first time.

This said, I have seen people using that word to mean - if I’ve interpreted it correctly - that Dean is either a) in the closet in relation to everyone; b) closeted to himself, so to speak, as in, he doesn’t realize and/or acknowledge and/or accept that he’s not heterosexual.

I don’t agree with either. Now, I’m gonna put here the disclaimer that this is my interpretation since Dean’s bisexuality/queerness is not stated textually in the show thus we’re talking on a level of signs and attribution of meanings (*insert something smart about semiotics*) and blah blah blah.

Allow me not to be specific with, like, references to lines spoken in the show in this post, maybe when I am done with my thesis and all will get the time to make a thorough analysis with specific references.

Now, do I think that Dean went up to his dad and told him “I like girls and guys lol”? ... Nope. At all. (But being closeted in relation to someone doesn’t really mean anything. Being out isn’t an all or nothing thing. You can go to pride parades wearing feathers and still keep it hidden from your dad. There are people who wait for their parents or grandparents to die before publicly coming out or transition. It’s complex.) Do I think Dean went up to Sam or Bobby and told them “I like girls and guys”? I don’t think so, as in, I don’t think he gave them a speech about being bisexual, but I think that both Sam and Bobby have at least a partial sense of Dean’s not-heterosexuality. Has Dean let his queerness known to people outside his family? Sure he has. On the top of my head, I can think of: Ash, Frank, Charlie (all hackers and queer or queer-coded, there is a pattern of association between hacking and queerness, but this is a thought for another day); Crowley was exchanging innuendo with him after 0.2 seconds of meeting and, well, Crowley has gotten to know Dean pretty intimately; and let’s be real there are characters who just looked at him and caught up because of reasons (Gunner Lawless comes to mind, I guess Aaron Bass, pretty sure Max Banes) and people who assumed and used it against him (the Campbells come to mind, no wonder the poor guy built 5739 walls around himself in season 6 and at some point was like “I was busy having sex with women”). It’s also implied that both he and Garth knew what the Purgatory in Miami was and that Dean expected Garth to get the joke, and Garth is another character that knows Dean beyond the façades. And then there’s a constellation of tiny moments that don’t mean anything on their own but in the context of what we know about Dean fit in the picture, like Jenna Nickerson feeling comfortable mentioning the first girl she’d kissed after knowing Dean for a short while.

At this point we’re left with “does Dean know he’s not straight” and, well, at this point it’s obvious but the thing is: Dean takes pride in his being anti-normative. Unlike Sam, he embraces his underclass identity, his not-normal identity. He acknowledges he’s a freak ever since day 1, and while he has heavy issues with the loneliness that comes with it, he uses it as an important brick in the construction of his identity. May I refer you to this conversation I had with @aslightsgoflashing and @f-ckyeahfutbol that touches this very topic.

Now, Dean’s relationship with his sexuality is extremely complex - we need, for instance, to count his experiences with sexual assault into it (I mentioned season 6 before, which also happens to be where he gets assaulted by a man in a sexually charged context, while I believe the other instances of sexual assault on him are carried out by women). Dean lives a life where is body is a) a commodity for the job, b) always at risk of being violated (in multiple ways, from wounds to possession). He’s always walking on a line between protecting his body and weaponizing it (it’s not a coincidence his body has been used as bait so often) and he that goes with sexuality too. He’s vocal in expressing knowledge of obscure kinky sexual practices, talking about how he’ll “try everything once” or whatever (but enjoying wearing pink panties is a secret...).

He builds his identity is a complex, ambiguous, ever-changing relationship with his body and his sexuality, and there’s nothing about him that suggests to me that he lives in a bubble where he doesn’t know he’s queer. Maybe he didn’t always (or ever) had the correct terminology for it or really conceptualized it, but in his twenties the guy knew his Pink Flamingos references (and Sam didn’t).

I think that among the reasons why Dean isn’t throwing himself at Cas’ feet and declaring his undying love for him, the fact that Cas has a dude body is, like, the last one on the list. I mean, I’m not saying he does not perceive men and women differently - he has different ways of relating to men and women due to the overwhelmingly homosocial context he’s lived pretty much his entire life, although he’s clearly developed a less sexist way of relating to women through the years - but his reluctance in opening himself to Cas is not due to some “gay panic” thing. I mean, it would be pretty diminishing to read it as just that.

So... well, these are my two cents on the topic :)