#af arno blunt

[little-mouse-adventures]

A Timeline of Events in the Artemis Fowl Series

If anyone's interested, I did do an actual analysis for where I pulled some of these dates from. But because I cannot type succinctly to save my life, it's 5,000 words long, so that's below the cut. I also put the timeline there again, but in three separate images, so hopefully they load well enough to be fully legible if the above isn't.

A thousand thanks to @sadbitchapologist and @zahnie for their help and advice with this, despite neither of them having any more than the barest interest in the series and therefore having no clue what I was on about. Thanks also to @orangerosebush for fielding completely out-of-the-blue questions about the French school system, so I didn't have to attempt to navigate web search results to figure out what mandatory gym classes were like for the sole purpose of plotting Luc's birthday on here.

An Analysis of the Timelines in the Artemis Fowl Series

A Brief Introduction

The Artemis Fowl series is made up of eight books covering a range of years and events. I wanted to see how accurate the timelines present in the books were, as well as try and plot out some other details implied in the novels but not explicitly stated, to have a better understanding of the overall world-building. To that end, I went through the series and made the above timeline. I colour-coded it based on the relevance of the specific items to certain categories, namely Humans, Fairies, Villains, and the Series itself. This does mean that some things could have fit into multiple categories. For instance, you will see some items involving Opal categorized as Fairy-Specific (such as her college years, as those are fairly neutral to the main plot or her villainy), Villain-Specific (such as her setting up her emergency fund, as that is mostly related to her schemes as opposed to relevant to her existence as a fairy, or part of the main plot of the series), and Plot-Specific (such as her opening the Berserker Gate, the primary plot point for the final book).

Before we really delve into things though, we should establish the baseline assumptions I was working with. Firstly, I am only using the original series. I have not used anything written in The Fowl Twins trilogy, given that those books seem to ret-con a considerable amount of the original information, and that is far too many headaches to give myself. Any supplemental series information, such as the short stories found in The Artemis Fowl Files, or anything from interviews is also not included. The premise here is: using just the original books, what is the event timeline of the world? The second thing we need to establish is that I am using the North American releases of the novels. I did make notes on where each bit of information comes from, but there isn’t really a citation style for this kind of thing, so I’m not sure how relevant that is. The third assumption is that the first book takes place the year it was originally published. According to my copy, the original publication was 2001, with the first American paperback edition coming out in 2002, and the first mass market paperback being released in 2003. This means our starting point is in 2001.

For sake of clarity, this analysis will start with setting the dates of the books and continue on from there.

The Basics of The Books

With that out of the way, let’s talk about the first book, Artemis Fowl (AF). It is actually not until the very end of the book that we get a solid answer for when it takes place. It’s only in the last few pages of the novel that Angeline Fowl leaves her attic room after all the plot points are tied up and announces that it is Christmas Day. This might be cause for concern – Angeline had not previously been established as a particularly reliable narrator – but given that we are asked to believe that Holly’s ‘feel better’ mood booster worked, and that neither Butler nor Artemis balk at or question the pronouncement that is Christmas Day, we’ll accept that it’s true and move on. This means that, with Butler’s earlier announcement that he was stuck doing four months of stakeout, we can say with a fair amount of certainty that Artemis obtained and translated the Fairy Book in September 2001, and managed to capture a fairy in December of the same year.

Moving on to Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident (TAI), we are given a decent chunk of information, albeit spread out a bit. The first is the announcement that the ransom drop for Artemis Fowl I is to be held on the fourteenth. The fourteenth of what, you might ask? Well, we are told that Artemis is currently thirteen years old. Clearly, things are past September 1, 2002 (we know Artemis’s birthday is September 1 based on information in both the fifth and seventh books). We are also told that Luc Carrere has been trading with the goblins for six months, starting in July. That puts us in either December or January, but we can narrow it down further since Artemis gives us another helpful clue. He mentions they are not expecting to see the dawn while attempting to rescue his father in the Arctic. There are only a few latitudes on Earth where polar night (of any type) occurs, and at Murmansk, polar twilight occurs between December 10 – January 2. Combining all of this, we learn that TAI takes place December 14, 2002, give or take a few days to either side.

This can be corroborated by information in Book 3, Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code (TEC). After Holly heals Artemis Senior, we are told that it takes over two months for him to wake up. Since we are specifically told two months, as opposed to two and a half or three, we can conclude that the events of TEC take place in March 2003. Mulch gives us some information that confirms this. He was living in LA “less than four months ago,” and since he was conscripted to help with the events of TAI in December, a March plotline fits the bill. We are given further confirmation as well: Spiro mentions that Artemis will be fourteen in six months. A specific date for Artemis & Co.’s attack on Spiro’s Needle can be pulled from the throw-away line that Pex and Chips are “burying” Mulch on the full moon. A quick web search tells us that the full moon in March of 2003 takes place on March 14, and the rest of the events in the novel take place roughly two days to either side of that.

In Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception (TOD), the fourth book in the series, we are given several very clear indications of when the events take place. Firstly, Artemis is contemplating that at fourteen years and three months old, he is the youngest person to successfully obtain The Fairy Thief. Based on previously noted details that his birthday is in September, the events of TOD must take place in December of 2003. Additionally, we are told that things are the middle of winter and Opal has been in a coma for eleven months and counting as of the end of TAI, another December plot.

Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony (TLC) requires the most math and interpretation so far to figure out when it takes place. We know Artemis is still fourteen, so the main events clearly happen sometime between January 2004 and September 2004. Beyond that, we are using a fair amount of context clues. Artemis and Butler have evidently been traveling for four months looking for demons, so we are dealing with events in at least May. But that still leaves us several summertime months to work with, so to establish a timeline here, we will need to look forward a bit. In the sixth book, Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox (TTP), it’s noted that Artemis is not yet fifteen, and has, on multiple occasions, spent the full moon in the study. Ergo, he’s spent at least a few months back from Hybras. If he has been back for two months and not yet turned fifteen, he would have had to have returned by July at the latest, and since he returns almost three years later than he leaves, we are looking at him returning in either May or June. This would have him disappearing to Hybras – and by extension, dealing with the earlier events in the book – in June, July, or August. After his conversation with Minerva, he notes to Butler that they “are planning a June wedding,” which wouldn’t make sense to say if they were currently in the month of June. From all of this, we can extrapolate that the first three-quarters of TLC take place in late July or early August 2004, with the triumphant return of our intrepid heroes occurring in June 2007.

As previously stated, TTP mentions that Artemis is still not fifteen, but is nearly there. He has also been home again for at least two months. This would put the events of the sixth book in August 2007. At least, the events set in the current time period. TTP does bring back time travel, and with it some problems. We are told that Artemis and Holly jump back nearly eight years to Artemis being ten and trying to fund searches for his missing father. This would put the events of the past in early 2000. However, other details presented regarding Artemis Senior’s disappearance, which we will discuss later, make that impossible. Artemis also admits, in TEC, that he was eleven when his father disappeared, not ten. If we take a bit of creative license with our interpretations and base the time-jump to the past on other presented information as opposed to the dates given in TTP, we can say that Holly and Artemis instead return to early 2001. This lines up with further details, such as the sinking of the Fowl Star (as calculated a few paragraphs down in this analysis) occurring in December of 2000, and the textual confirmation in TTP that it’s barely two months past that sinking when Artemis brokers the deal(s) regarding the silky sifaka lemur. Since, at the end of the day, the time jump impacts very little in the grand scheme of things, and the year 2001 actually fits in better with other textual evidence and events, that’s what I’m going with for this timeline.

The seventh book, Artemis Fowl: The Atlantis Complex (TAC) gives us a very helpful base point! It takes place on Artemis’s fifteenth birthday, September 1. From our previous results on setting dates for book events, that would be September 1, 2007. The sections in which Butler and Juliet are fighting mesmerized wrestling fans and meeting up with Mulch are noted in the novel as happening “the day before,” which would fall on August 31, 2007.

Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian (TLG), the eighth and final book in the series, creates some problems. If we assume that Artemis starts receiving treatment for his Atlantis Complex immediately after diagnosis in TAC¸ that would put him receiving treatment in September 2007. We are told he is certified as cured after six months. Yet we are also told that the rest of the events of the book take place in the week or so leading up to the Christmas holidays. Everything so far has said that the Artemis Fowl series follows the current calendar, in which case there is no way that six months can fit between September 1, 2007 and December 25, 2007. However, the only reference to Christmas is in two lines noting that the Fowl parents were planning on holidaying with their children on a foreign beach. If we simply say that six months have passed, and they are instead planning on spending the Irish school system’s spring holidays in the French Riviera, everything else lines up much better. So that’s what I’ve done. This would also put the resurrection of Artemis, after the events of the book and a further six months have passed, at roughly September of 2008. There is a pleasing symmetry to Artemis being born and then re-born in September, though if you want to get really technical and say the events of TLG take place during the 2008 March full moon as Opal claims (as noted in another web search as March 28), a six-month wait time for the clone to grow would put the resurrection in October. Still, there is something to be said for having a boy’s ghost haunting a clone of himself close to All Hallows. Since it’s the last plot point of the series, you can choose which you’d like; it doesn’t have to lead to anything else after it.

Let’s Talk Timelines: The Beginning of the Line to The End of The 19th Century

Now that we have our baseline book time periods established, we can get into the math used to determine some of the events in the timeline above. Several events are easy; we are given specific dates for them. Turnball Root meets Leonor in 1938, Juliet wins the Miss Sugar Beet Fair beauty contest in 1999. Other things are based on some basic math, such as Artemis claiming his parents got married fourteen years prior to AF¸ putting that event in 1987.

The majority of the items on the above timeline, however, do take some mathematics, extrapolation, and interpretation to plot out. To try and keep everything organized, we’ll start at the far left of the timeline, and work our way forwards, looking at events oldest-to-newest to explain why they are where they are on the graph. I won’t be getting too in-depth on everything in the graph, since I’m not sure how relevant the notes on the very minor side characters such as Carla Frazetti are, but I’ll at least try to touch on some of the more relevant points.

To start with, the Battle of Taillte was noted in the 2000’s as being ten thousand years ago, putting that at 8000 BCE. Similarly, the last dome breach at Atlantis was apparently eight thousand years ago in the 2000’s, so that would be 6000 BCE. Troll sideshows were legal in the early middle ages, which implies they were not legal after that. A quick web search says the early middle ages ended around 1000. The first crusades were in 1096-1099, and as those crusades are the start point of the Butler-Fowl working relationship, a point for noting that comes next on the graph.

From there, we get into more modern – relatively speaking – events. Briar Cudgeon and Julius Root are noted as attending the LEP Academy together and being raised in the same tunnel, as well as having about 600 years of history together. If one assumes “being raised in the same tunnel” is similar to the human equivalent of “growing up in the same neighbourhood,” we can assume the two were born roughly 600 years ago, in the 1400’s. Vinyaya is portrayed as being of a similar age to Root, so her birth can also be put in the same general era. We are also told that Fowl Manor was originally a castle built in the fifteenth century, that in the early 2000’s the theories of timeline corruption were first introduced over five centuries ago, and that cloning has been banned for over five hundred years, so those three events are also tossed into the 1400’s.

Julius Root is noted as doing his LEP basic training 500 years ago in Ireland, so that would have to be in the 1500’s. He would have attended the Academy before then, putting that in the mid-to-late 1400’s. As previously stated, he was in the Academy with Cudgeon. Opal also met Cudgeon in college, and competed with Foaly for science prizes there, so they were all in school at the same time.

Mulch now enters the picture. We aren’t ever given a specific age range for him, but we are told about his career. He has, apparently, spent three centuries in and out of prison after a couple centuries of success as a thief. This would make him at least five hundred years old. There is a brief mention that he tried the athletic route at college before becoming a thief, so he would have to be an adult at that point, putting his age at roughly 550 years during the events of the series.

We then enter a period filled in from one-off lines throughout the series, presumably added to give some depth to the world. Things about the wine cellar at Fowl Manor being a seventeenth century addition, Captain Eusebius Fowl and his crew dying in the eighteenth century, and Mulch first faking his own death over two hundred years ago.

Time Marches On: The 20th Century

There is nothing of much relevance to linger on between the 1550’s and the 20th century, so we’ll jump ahead to the 1900’s, when we have Holly Short’s birthday. She is in her eighties during TLC, and her father died “over twenty years ago” when she was “barely sixty” as of TAI. Based on that, she would have been in her early eighties in 2002, putting her birthday sometime in the 1920’s. What a doll.

A few more birthdays now appear, and we’ll ignore, for the most part, some of the irrelevant ones. I don’t think we are at all concerned with Gaspard Paradizo’s birthday, or Mikhael Vassikin. We are, however, rather more interested in Jon Spiro, Domovoi Butler, and Artemis Fowl I.

Jon Spiro enters the series in TEC, as a middle-aged American. A quick search on the Internet says that middle age is generally noted as being between the ages of 40 to 60. We are told that Spiro has worked in three main industries over the past two and a half decades. Additionally, we are told that law enforcement has been “trying to put [him] away for thirty years.” If we assume he entered the working world at twenty, spent five years developing his professional self, and then started going down a path of questionable legality to get the police after him, that would put him at fifty-five in 2003, and born in the late 1940’s.

It was a bit easier to determine Domovoi Butler’s age, and we can get more specific with his actual birthday. We are told that he is forty at the start of TEC, and he is still forty during TOD. From that, we can assume his birthday is not between March – December, which means it has to be between January – March. Now, we can just leave things there, but contextually, Butler says in late March 2003 that “a lot of people know [him] as a forty-year old man.” Since I doubt he’s the kind of person who introduces himself by announcing that his birthday was last week, we can assume that his birthday is not in March. Since about half the books in the series take place in December, and there is never any mention of Butler’s birthday coming up soon, we can likely assume it isn’t in January. We can therefore conclude Butler was born in February, 40 years before 2003, which puts his birth year in 1963.

We then have Artemis Fowl I. This one took the most extrapolation to determine. We know he has run an ethical empire for a few years as of 2007, which coincides with his return to his family after being kidnapped by the Mafia. He apparently ran a successful criminal empire for two decades before that, though, so in 2007 he has been working for at least 25 years. Based on the interactions he had with his own son, I’ve assumed he was also taught to take over the family business from a young age. If he started working at his age of majority at 18 (as possible in the 1980’s in Ireland, based on a web search), we can assume he was born in roughly the mid 60’s.

Billy Kong, born Jonah Lee, is one to touch on. He plays a large role in TLC, during which we are given possibly the most backstory of any villain in the series. He was evidently born in the early 1970’s, and was eight years old in the early 1980’s. Mathematically, that can only lend itself to so many birth years, so it’s easy enough to put his birthdate somewhere in 1973, and his brother’s death date in 1981.

While we’re here, let’s talk about the 1980’s. A lot of things happen in the 80’s, so we’ll be here for a few paragraphs. Butler would have graduated Madam Ko’s Academy in the early ‘80s, Artemis I would have started working in his family’s business and stolen some warrior mummies (of note, the theft is only noted as being in Artemis Sr.’s “gangster days,” but if you are a young, rich criminal, you’d likely commit a wild theft in your early years as opposed to your thirties, which is why this is put in here). Additionally, in the mid 1980’s, Holly graduates the LEP Academy and her mother dies, as noted in TTP when she is contemplating missing three years of her friends lives.

Butler would have started his five-year stint in Russia with an espionage unit in the mid-to-late 80’s, and become a big brother in 1985. Juliet is noted at being four years older than Artemis in AF in 2001, and he is twelve then, making her sixteen at the time. We can extrapolate the month from TEC, wherein she is apparently eighteen when she is called regarding her brother’s apparent death. At the time, we are told what gifts she received for her birthday, implying it was fairly recent. Additionally, Artemis was only thirteen at that time, which would make Juliet five years older than Artemis. If, however, we trust that acolytes at Madam Ko’s start their training on their tenth birthday and get one chance to graduate per year, it would make sense for that one chance to be on their birthday, or within a day or two to allow for as much training time as possible. Since Juliet was in the midst of this one graduation evaluation when she gets the phone call and joins the crew for the March heist at Spiro’s Needle, she’d have to be born in March. (We can also corroborate this with some details from AF: if AF  takes place in mid-September, that would be just after Artemis’s birthday, which puts the 4-year age difference back into play.)

Spelltropy begins for the People in 1987, if it appeared 20 years ago from 2007. Artemis I and Angeline Fowl would get married in 1987. They would have their first child, Artemis Fowl II, in 1989, as calculated by Artemis being twelve during the initial siege of the Manor in December 2001. Artemis II’s grandfather was noted as having been dead for over ten years at that point, and it was mentioned in TEC that Angeline married her husband before he really took over the family business, so those events would likely happen when Artemis was but a baby in 1990.

The ‘90s are a period where a lot of things are happening, but few are particularly important. Spelltropy has a cure found, Minerva Paradizo is born, Juliet begins her bodyguard training and her brother refuses to let her shave her hair. These, and other events in the 90’s, are mostly calculated by math along the lines of “Event A happened X number of years ago,” but since the 90’s was mostly a time of worldbuilding events rather than plot events, we’ll just skim over the specific details.

‘You Are Here’: The 21st Century, and Where The Storytelling Begins

Welcome to the 2000’s! The kick-off point of not only the 2000’s, but also the entire series, is the sinking of the Fowl Star. We aren’t given a specific date for this, but we are given enough information to extrapolate the date. Specifically, in September 2001, in AF, we are told Fowl Sr. has been missing for almost a year. In TAI, in December, we are told he has been missing for almost two years. That does have the potential to have the ship go down in either December or January, so we need to use a bit more details from TAI to make a final determination. Mikhael Vassikin and Kamar were told to dump Fowl’s body in the Kola if he didn’t wake up in “another year,” so they’ve been looking after him for one at that point. Fowl Sr. wakes up two weeks before the deadline, and as noted earlier, the ransom drop for him takes place December 14, after he has been awake for perhaps a week. From that, we can tell that the deadline for “another year” was mid to late December, putting the initial sinking of the Fowl Star in late 2000.

The analysis gets a bit confusing at this point, because 2001 is when future Artemis and Holly join the party via time travel, as well as having their regular selves in the timestream. Essentially, we’ve established the timeline for the events of TTP above, so we know the whole lemur fiasco takes place in March 2001. Artemis wakes up at the end of that book thinking about fairies, which ties in rather neatly to him then dragging Butler across three continents for six false alarms (with an assumed approximate 3 weeks between each jaunt) before striking metaphorical gold in Ho Chi Minh City in September. During their time-traveling, Holly also gets a chance to talk to Root, who wonders why she isn’t in Hamburg, which was noted in AF as Holly’s first major failure as a Recon officer and was nearly preceding the events of AF. The time-traveling would also mean that Opal would have had to harvest her DNA for future diabolical plans before March 2001, when her younger self travels to the future. Since it takes up to two years to grow a clone to adulthood, and her clone has to be ready in September 2003, we are a few months off in the time requirements, but really, for a practice that’s been outlawed for 500 years, I can offer a bit of leeway.

We are now well and truly in the thick of the main events of the series. Most of this will be tied into the initial assessments we made way at the beginning of this essay, where we established when each book occurs. Because of this, we aren’t going to spend time on anything plot-related. However, a brief note on Turnball Root and Artemis’s Atlantis Complex is likely in order. Artemis was, as previously stated, dealing with his return from Hybras and the after-effects of stealing magic during July and August of 2007. His Atlantis Complex, and Turnball Root’s plan to escape the Deeps prison, are in full swing in September of that year. We have a brief note in TAC during the evacuation of Atlantis, that Turnball had, a month before, spied on Artemis and noted his Atlantis Complex developing. Therefore, Artemis’s Complex likely came into play in late July or early August 2007. This is close enough to Artemis’s magic theft to make sense for the deterioration of his mental health, and enough time for Butler to have started to notice something was wrong, as he did. We can therefore assume that Atlantis Complex, at least in the case of magic-stealing humans who have a propensity for time travel and getting involved in supremely complicated and improbable plots, develops relatively quickly.

This leaves just one major discussion point from the last few books: the age of Artemis’s twin brothers, Beckett and Myles. The twins are first introduced at the very end of TLC. They are written as being two during the events of TTP, three during the events of TAC, and four during the events of TLG. Regardless of the time-traveling shenanigans of their elder brother, it is impossible for the twins to age two years in the eight months between Artemis’s return from Hybras in June 2007 and the finale of the series in March of 2008, so we need to look at what makes sense.

Myles has already potty-trained himself, and done so at fourteen months, so they must be at least that old. Their other behaviours would make sense for them to be two in TTP. Diapers are still a part of their lives, and their language and vocabulary fit what a two-year-old would have, at least in Beckett’s case. Since Artemis was surprised by their existence, it doesn’t seem likely that  Angeline would have known she was pregnant, or at least not have told Artemis yet, when he went to Limbo. Ergo, they can’t be any older than two, since (one would hope) Artemis would have noticed his mother’s pregnancy if the twins were any older.

Additionally, in TLG, we know Artemis gave his brother a birthday present, so he had to have been around during the twin’s birthday at least once. With this fact, the twins cannot be born between March – June, which just leaves the question of when are the twins born?

 The most logical answer is February 2005. If Angeline was early on in her pregnancy, say six weeks (which is when most women start noticing symptoms), when Artemis disappeared in July 2004, she wouldn’t necessarily have told him yet. Then, if we assume that since most twin births occur around the 35-week mark, that would math out to having the twins be born in February of 2005. Fast forward, and they would turn one in February 2006, and two in February 2007, which puts them at the correct age for the events of TTP. [One could argue, of course, that a twin pregnancy in an older woman (unfortunately, there is nothing in the series to indicate Angeline’s age) and in a woman already dealing with significant stress could result in a very premature birth, thereby voiding any of this math and leaving the whole question of the twin’s birthday unanswered. However, since I’d rather not subject the Fowl parents to the strife and misery of having one son missing and presumed dead, and their younger children in the NICU with a low survival rate, I’m working with the assumption that the pregnancy was a healthy and normal one.]

The brief comment from Juliet in TAC about the twins being three can be passed off by them being a little over two-and-a-half and Juliet not being around as she is touring in Mexico. By the time TLG takes place, in March of 2008, the twins would have had their third birthday, allowing for Artemis to give Myles his chair as a birthday present, Beckett to be old enough to no longer need diapers, and the behaviours to act more like children than infants. While this doesn’t quite allow for the repeated textual confirmations in TLG that the twins are four, we’ll go with what mathematically makes sense.

That brings us to the end of the timeline! Not everything is touched on in the timeline, and not everything in the books is plotted (we are never given enough context to know Foaly’s or Opal’s birthdates, for instance). But the main events of the Artemis Fowl series are all analyzed, mathematically or logically or textually corroborated, and plotted out, for use or ignoring as personal preference dictates.

[fissions-chips]

If we’re talking solely canon designs, appearing in some visual media or another, the most objectively attractive character in AF (to me) is Arno Blunt. It’s a very good design.

[spring-heeledjack]

I've accumulated some absolutely useless AF headcanons that you will be subjected to whether you like it or not. Even if you ignore this post. I am projecting these headcanons into your brain with my psychic beams.

First things first, Artemis II is transmasc. This is a hill I will die on.

He's also bisexual! Because I love to project.

He figured it out when he was like ten and came out to Butler first, even if he didn't truly have the words for it back then. (He did start doing research online about LGBT terms and identities once he got a computer though. It was through this research that Artemis deduced that Butler was aroace.)

It was with Butler's support that he came out to Tim and Angeline as well. They were both supportive cause, well, they're both dating Jon Spiro, your honor.

Speaking of Jon Spiro, he is also trans cause I said so lmao.

Anyway, back to Arty. He once tried cooking with Juliet when he was little but Juliet was a little kid too so was just fucking around and it's Artemis so they ended up putting some of Butler's gun oil in it.

*SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE* BEFORE ARTEMIS AND MADAME KO BUTLER ATTENDED PRIDE PARADES.

There was once a pride parade held in Dublin and Butler took Arty so he could see more of the LGBT community in person and Artemis tried to stay composed but little guy almost lost his goddamn mind.

Butler spotted Arno Blunt at the parade carrying a modest little straight ally flag. Blunt didn't see him though. (Why was Blunt in Dublin? I dunno, why was I in your mom's bed last night?)

An older trans man at the parade gave Artemis a tiny trans flag to take home and Artemis almost cried.

Arty is actually kinda scared of the ocean/deep sea due to a combination of what happened to his dad and the fact that the ocean is so big and unknown. (I googled the phobia of the unknown and it told me xenophobia so uhhhhh not gonna say that lmao)

That being said, Tim also has a fear of the ocean. He has nightmares and panic attacks about the Fowl Star from time to time, but Angeline and Jon are usually there to comfort him through it.

There was a school trip where all the students had to get on these little boats and sail out a little ways into the ocean (with adult supervision) and Artemis absolutely refused to get on one of the boats. One of the teachers put a hand on his shoulder to try and gently lead him onto one and he almost bit them. They had to call Butler to come and take him home.

Butler actually tried to help Arty get over his fear by renting this little boat and going out onto the sea a little bit.. Having Butler there did help but he was still terrified in the beginning. A storm started picking up after a while and Artemis was getting antsy so Butler rowed them back to shore.

Dr. Po once asked Artemis about his fear of the ocean and Arty actually gave him a semi-straight answer. He realized what he did after seeing the look on Po's face and quickly turned it into another little mind game. Dr. Po is a professional however, and the look of realization on Artemis' face was enough for Po to tell that he had told the truth for once. (Po popped open a bottle of champagne when he got home to celebrate such a monumental moment)

[weeinterpreter]

Ok that trope bingo thing got me all excited I can’t wait to read all the amazing work 😔🔥

How about this, Everyone is a suspect trope and it’s just the cast playing Monopoly and someone stole money and they’re trying to figure out who :)

@me-fangirlingxxx

So sorry for the long wait! It took me so long, but here we are. I hope you enjoy this! It turned into a smaller episode, but will be part of a bigger story, so please bear with me.

What's a Trope Bingo?

What's the Evil Association of Evil Villains?

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5][Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8]

Part 1. Monopoly.

Jon laughed, "Well, Arty, looks like I win and you lose."

Artemis groaned as he moved his pawn to Park Place.

"That'll be 1500 dollars, please," the millionaire said, his golden bracelets clinking against each other. Artemis shot him a dark look and counted his money.

"Don't look so sad, Arty," Jon said lightly. "It's just a game."

"I'm not sad," Artemis snapped, shifting in the comfortable leather armchair. It had been Jon's idea to play Monopoly. Ever since the President of the Evil Association of Evil Villains had approved the blueprints for the Secret Evil Lair, Jon had been adamant that the place had to have an arcade and a bowling alley. The proposals hadn't been approved yet, so Jon had spent all his free time in adding a game room, trying to get his fellow villains to play with him.

"I just find it funny that I seem to land on Park Place every single round. Are you sure the dice aren't loaded?"

Jon placed a hand on his heart. "Artemis, I am a criminal, but I have standards. I would never trick a fellow member. That's beneath me. You just have terrible luck today."

Artemis made a non-committal sound and handed over the paper notes. "I still find it odd. Regardless, I have been thinking about our heists. Why have they all failed? I finally know why."

Arno and Butler paled, while Jon thought hard.

"Beats me."

"It's obvious, Jon. Think about it. What did all our missions have in common?"

Arno shot Butler a panicked look, his hands trembling as he sat up.

"They were too obvious," Artemis said.

Butler frowned. "Too obvious?"

"Yes, beams melting the ozone layer? Come on. It's what movie villains would do. Instead, we have to think subtler. Less obvious."

Jon nodded. "What do you suggest instead?"

Artemis gave him his signature vampire smile. "Glad you are asking. I was thinking-" he handed Butler the dice, who let them promptly drop to the floor.

Arno Blunt sneered. "Scared you'll end up on my street, Butler?"

Artemis cleared his throat with a lift of his eyebrow. He didn't appreciate the interruption, and was about to start anew when Butler rolled his dice. They both landed on a 'six'. Arno's eyes widened.

"Impossible," he exclaimed and grabbed the dice, eyeing them from all sides. "You are cheating."

Butler shrugged. "We are all using the same dice. How would I be cheating?"

"Gentlemen, if I may," Artemis began. Before he could lie out his genius plan, though, the lights went out.

"What the-?"

"Not to worry," said Artemis. "The emergency generator should kick in any moment now."

As if on cue, an eerie green light came to life, illuminating the sitting room. Jon blinked, squinting his eyes when he noticed something on the table.

"Hey, why is all the money gone?"

Everybody looked, and indeed, there was not a single note lying on the table. Jon furrowed his brows.

"Come on, Arty. I know this is not your strongest game, but theft?"

"My money is gone, too," Artemis said. "As you can see. Besides, what would I do with play money?"

Both criminals looked at their bodyguards. Butler lifted his empty hands.

"Arno?"

The giant threw the dice on the table.

"What? Like, I'm that petty? It's a stupid game to begin with. Like, what is this, kindergarten?"

Artemis placed a finger on his chin. "How intriguing."

"What is?" Jon asked, confused.

"Clearly, one of us is lying. The question is, why?"

Arno snorted. "Maybe it was you, kiddo. Since you are so intrigued by the whole thing."

Artemis didn't answer. He let his gaze wander across the room. It got caught on a white card that had imbedded itself into the wall. Walking over to it, the boy pulled it out and examined it for a moment. The thick, expensive paper was empty except for two symbols. Artemis frowned, studying the first, unable to remember where he had seen it before. It looked like a secret message, as if someone had written one letter above another. He wondered if he could scan it and decipher the message on his computer at Fowl Manor.

The second symbol, however, was much easier to interpret. It was a winking smiley.

Jon tapped his foot in an erratic rhythm. "What is it?"

Artemis looked up. "We've been robbed."

To be continued.

[fowlblue]

Who in AF is queer and how?

Well, I generally agree with the general consensus that ‘everyone in AF is queer except for Ark Sool’, but I’m happy to share some of my headcanons!

Artemis- Biromantic asexual

Butler- Pansexual, demiromantic polyamourous

Holly- Panromantic pansexual

Juliet- Demigirl, Lesbian

Fowl Senior- Bisexual, demiromantic polyamourous

Angeline- Pansexual panromantic polyamourous

Jon Spiro- Bisexual biromantic polyamourous

Arno Blunt- Pansexual panromantic, non-binary (prefers he/him but also goes by they/them)

Opal Koboi- Bisexual aromantic

Uncle Foxy- Gay

Lazuli- Aromantic asexual

[weeinterpreter]

Okay, ONE MORE FOR NOW I don’t want to overwhelm you- but one more idea for this Association AU? Perhaps Artemis and Butler get themselves in a spot of trouble (I mean, the Fowls ARE still constantly at risk Fowl Sr. has a ton of enemies) and his villain friends come to help him because Artemis is still a child he needs all the help he can get, and if Artemis dies who’s gonna come up with the actually genius plans? Who will help Opal pick out a nice Evil Overlord outfit for their next meeting? Who will help Spiro with some very quick Anger Management tactics because he has to meet with his company’s board in ten minutes and he doesn’t want to throw another coworker out the window? Villains don’t leave other villains (or their bodyguards, to Butler’s surprise) behind- at least, these villains don’t. (And maybe, JUST MAYBE, it’s a little bit hurt/comfort-y. Maybe.)

Okay, this went into a slightly different direction, I'm afraid. I hope you still enjoy it. It is villains and bodyguards sticking together, though. 👉👈

[Part 1][Part 2][Part 3] (I feel like this needs to be turned into a proper fanfic...)

The Egyptian sun burnt mercilessly on the Grand Nile Tower's roof as Artemis adjusted the ozone-melting laser. Jon Spiro pushed the sunglasses higher up his nose, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Next time, let's do something in the taiga, it's so much more enjoyable to do crime and not sweating like a pig," he said, flapping his shirt to cool his drenched chest.

Artemis didn't answer, too busy fine-tuning the dials.

The two bodyguards, Butler and Arno Blunt, kept their eyes trained on their surroundings, looking as if they were waiting for something. Butler stared darkly ahead, his jaw clenched tight. Arno Blunt chewed excessively on five pieces of gum, popping in one more every few minutes.

Jon turned to them.

"You should have a look at this. This is a historic event, and you’re witnessing it."

Butler crossed his arms, stretching out two fingers. The sign for ‘Someone’s coming.’

In one swift movement, they turned and hurried to their employers. Butler gripped Artemis by the arm and pulled him towards the exit.

"Our location has been compromised, Artemis. We need to leave."

Butler had hardly finished the sentence when the exit doors burst open, a whole Squad Team swarming on to the roof, machine guns trained at the two villains and their henchmen.

"Freeze! Put your hands in the air!"

Jon Spiro gritted his teeth, throwing abuse at the police officers. None of it was audible, though, over the noise of a helicopter drawing nearer.

A second later, eight soldiers collapsed on the ground, struck down by an invisible force.

Arno and Spiro turned and bolted towards the helicopter, flown by no other than Opal herself.

Butler whirled around, and not wasting one second, threw Artemis over his shoulder, following the two men.

"The laser!" Artemis shouted.

Arno grunted and ran back, picking it up and throwing it over his shoulder. He stopped in his tracks when he felt the barrel of a machine gun pressing into his back.

"No sudden movement, Blunt!"

Arno smirked.

"Well, well, well, is this my dear friend Sid Commons? Fancy meeting you here. I'd love to catch up, but you know, super busy with doing all sorts of villain stuff. You got my number?"

"Shut up! Drop your weapon and lift your hands in the air!"

Arno pointed to the laser in his hand. "You mean this one?"

"Drop the weapon!"

Sighing, Arno slowly lifted the laser in the air, his thumb brushing ever so slightly against one dial. Then he spun around, flung the laser at the soldier, and, completing his pirouette, zoomed towards the edge of the building.

The helicopter was already hovering several feet above the building. A sane man would have stopped there and then, but Arno Blunt pushed further, sprinting towards the abyss.

Bullets whizzed past his ears, people kept shouting. Arno Blunt ignored them and lept off the building, grabbing the rope ladder that Butler had pushed out of the open helicopter door not a second too late.

"He left the laser with them," Artemis said indignantly when Arno crawled into the helicopter.

"It took me several months to build it!"

Jon placed a hand on his shoulder. "We'll build a new one, kid."

"Yes," Opal said in her mic. "And in the meantime, I have an excellent Plan B. Toxic face creams!"

Arno shot Butler a desperate look before reaching for his gum.