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utterlyotterlyx · 5 months ago

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A Ballad of Storm and Shadow

Azriel x F!Reader

Part Six

Series Summary - Rhys had been content in taking the darkest secret of his family to the grave, but when the threat of Hybern increases, he has no choice but to send a message to another world and pray to the Mother that his call is answered.

Warnings - mentions of pain, mentions of death, mentions of torture, angstttt, sadness, fluff

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

This is a crossover series, some aspects will differ from that in the books. Physical attributes are described in this fic, it is essential to the storyline of the character

It had taken 17 hours for y/n to stir.

17 hours of Azriel sat at her bedside hating himself for allowing her to venture from the cabin alone and picturing himself grabbing her hand at the last second to stop her from leaving him.

17 hours of verbal beatings which would have been physical if it weren’t for his refusal to leave her side.

Aelin was furious, her wildfire blazing as blue as her eyes across each one of her limbs.

Rowan hadn’t spoken a single word, but his eyes didn’t leave Azriel for one moment, and he hadn’t unclenched his fists from the moment he had stepped foot into Prythian and scented the direness of the situation at hand.

Lorcan and Aedion also refused to move from the room, being her bloodsworn they had a duty to protect and serve her, and they felt as if they had failed in a sense.

Then there was Manon, the gold eyed witch queen with talons so sharp that they had drawn blood from Azriel’s arms when they coiled around him and demanded to know what had happened with a voice so venomous that he was sure she would drink his blood if she could.

In short, everyone despised him, and even Rhys was reluctant to offer a safe hand to his brother. Azriel understood, Rhys had only just gotten his sister back, and was feeling like a failure in his own way for sending her in the first place. Rhys was so ashamed of his request that he had allowed Aelin to preside over y/n’s care with Yrene, as well as the scouting missions she had ordered Rowan and Manon to embark upon to ensure that no attack would befall the city whilst y/n was injured and vulnerable.

The last 17 hours hadn’t been kind to y/n. Black poison poured from the bandages secured around her chest and abdomen, which meant that Yrene had to change them more often, and a fever so damning had taken over her body, causing the Queen of the Erilean Fae to sweat and shake uncontrollably whilst her body fought an internal war to win back her life. It was horrible to watch, and it all could have been avoided if Azriel had been there, flying below her and ensuring no one could pick them out of the skies, or if Rhys hadn’t sent them to begin with.

Azriel could picture it. A fond and vivid image of y/n flying above him. The rain would cause her raven black hair to stick to her skin, but it was the thin wisps of baby hair that stuck to her forehead that made the faintest of smiles to appear on Azriel's lips. Y/N seemed so unbothered up there, so... at home. Much like he found solace in the shadows, she found songs in the storms. A peace that could never be tainted.

That's what he willed himself to see when he looked upon her pallid, fever-stricken face. He willed himself to see the version of her that she would have wished. One where she was happy. One where she was plagued by serenity.

None of them could pinpoint how Hybern had known that y/n was in Prythian, or how they knew that she even existed in order to create the only poison that could be used to weaken and fatally harm her. Even Yrene had uttered that the ingredients were sparse even within Erilea. It meant that someone had spent valuable time collecting and crafting in order to inflict the pain onto y/n. Azriel swore to himself that whoever it was would die for it in the most curdling manner his mind could fathom.

It was within the thirty second minute that she stirred, her kaleidoscope orbs appearing beneath her fluttering lids and a small groan of torturous pain emitting from her lips. Azriel moved from the chair beside her to the mattress in a matter of seconds, disturbing the peace by shouting into the void for Lorcan and Aedion to call for Yrene, and the healer came quickly at their demands barrelling down the halls.

Yrene was closely followed by Aelin and Manon, the latter of which growled once she spied Azriel’s marred flesh tainting the purity of her queen. The red cloak of Manon swept against the stone beneath her feet, her claws were retracted but her teeth were poised to rip the throat out of anyone who got too close, Azriel included. Not wasting a moment, Yrene crossed the room whilst fastening her apron at her back, reaching out to lay her hand on y/n’s forehead and stealing it back with a hiss and the scent of burning flesh. “How are you holding her?” Yrene asked, perplexed, holding her burnt hand to her chest.

To Azriel, y/n felt hot, but not searing, not burning. From the beads of sweat that teared down her pallid cheeks, he knew that she was struggling to fight off the poison and the infection that came with it.

The Shadowsinger didn’t answer.

Instead, he kept his hazel eyes upon her face, tracing the slow beat of her eyelids and the quaking of her gasping lips as she attempted to form a word. “Y/N,” Azriel cooed gently, causing y/n to stop trembling for a moment, “To me,” he told her, pulling her darting eyes from the ceiling and to his face, “You need to save your energy and rest. Close your eyes and sleep. Let Yrene heal you.”

It wasn’t as much as a command as it was a plead, but she listened, shakily nodding her head and shivering into slumber, her chest rising and falling with uneven breaths.

He felt the golden eyes of the witch queen on the side of his face, Manon couldn’t understand how y/n hadn’t noticed her at her side, she couldn’t understand how y/n’s eyes found Azriel instantly over her own. Azriel moved his gaze to meet those orbs of gold and speckled black, refusing the back down even if he did find her terrifying. “She needs Doranelle,” Manon spoke, not to Azriel despite him being in her eye line, but to Aelin who stood behind her, and to Rowan who was propped against the doorway.

“We’re stuck here,” Aelin reminded her, making it clear that she had already thought the same but knew it was impossible without y/n’s power to rip open the fabric of space and time to take them there. Aelin dropped to her knees beside y/n, the fire coursing through y/n’s veins battling against her own, and she ran her fingers down the side of her face, worry clear and fear prominent. “This King,” Aelin spat, “Knows what he has done. Your war will be coming sooner than you think, and he’ll seek to destroy her along with it.”

“I won’t let him,” Azriel growled, tone low and threatening, and eyes peeking through the thickness of his lashes whilst his hand kept entwined with y/n’s like he was her link back to the land of the living.

Aelin honed in on Azriel, drinking in the dark possessiveness in his eyes and the way his shadows flitted over the skin of her dearest friend, almost as if they were trying to shield her from the world.

It wasn’t like Aelin truly blamed the Shadowsinger for what happened to y/n, she knew first hand just how difficult she could be when it came to anything she felt determined to do. In all honesty, Aelin blamed Rhys the most and had told him plenty of times of the fact. Y/N was Rhys’ sister, he knew how important she was to other worlds let alone his own, and he willingly put her in danger. Such motions threatened the survival of Prythian, and by extension, Erilea.

The feelings of Aelin were probably why Rhys had stayed away, waiting for the rest of them to leave for the evening before spending the night at her side, reading and telling her stories of their father and sister to then only leave at the break of dawn when Lorcan and Aedion would arrive. Azriel was the only one who stayed every minute of every hour, refusing to be anywhere else, out of guilt or desperation Aelin would never truly know, but part of her was thankful for it.

Do you see it?

Aelin craned her head over her shoulder to find Rowan’s orbs fixated on the pallid body of his friend and former princess, a woman he had spent centuries protecting and training. His sight pulled from her to Aelin and he nodded, eyes flickering to Azriel who had turned all of his attention back to y/n.

Yes.

The yawning of Aedion who was sprawled across a chair in the far corner halted Aelin from probing Rowan further. The unimpressed guise of the chamber fell upon him, “Tired, Cousin?”

Aedion shrugged, motioning to Lorcan with a wave of his hand, “She’s funnelling our energy through the bond. Forgive us for feeling a little lethargic, Aelin.”

“What do you mean? She’s funnelling your energy?” Azriel asked, brows furrowed and trying to grasp the meaning in his mind.

Sighing, Aelin explained, “Y/N is incredibly powerful,” she smiled upon y/n sadly, “There are aspects of her power that she refuses to use, abilities of the darkness that she inherited from her mother, Maeve. She can absorb strength from those sworn to her and from those who offer their power to her,” Aelin nodded toward Aedion and Lorcan with her eyes softening, “Y/N is absorbing the strength and energy from Aedion and Lorcan, they are her bloodsworn, and her body is in such a bad way that it seems the dark spots of her power are grasping onto anything they can to keep her alive.”

“It’s happened before?”

Aelin smiled thinly, trying to offer some comfort to Azriel who was beginning to understand the pain inflicted upon the woman before his eyes, but before Aelin could reply, Manon’s voice echoed between them. “Once. She was in a much worse state after she destroyed Maeve, her power was drained for the first time in her life, and she was severely injured from what Maeve did before the battle. All of that put her into a state of comatosis. It took her weeks to wake.” From the heaviness of Manon’s recount, Azriel knew just how close they were, all of them, so he understood why they blamed him, hated him.

“I’m sorry that I let her leave the cabin. I’m sorry,” Azriel spoke, staring right into Manon and trying to decipher whatever emotion lay within those cold golden orbs.

Rising to his feet, Aedion crossed the room, nudging a lingering Rowan on the way, “It’s fine. Y/N is a stubborn thing, she’s pulled the wool over all of our eyes at some point.”

“Like when she sacrificed herself to secure my freedom?” Aelin asked with a smile, leaning to run her fingers along y/n’s arm.

“Or when she trailed the ilken following Elide and I and slaughtered them all without us even realising it?” Lorcan huffed with amusement, creeping closer to the bed with humour in his eyes and his arms firmly folded over his chest.

“Then there’s Skull’s Bay,” Rowan almost sang, the words being the first noise he had made since he had arrived in Velaris and the room hummed in fond remembrance.

“And we won’t ever forget how she took possession of that burst dam and swallowed Maeve along with it. She saved us all that day, even when she was barely alive,” Manon spoke softly, a speckle of humanity shining through her soul shrouded in stone, “She’s family,” was all the witch queen said, an olive branch of sorts, an explanation as to why she had been so difficult.

Noting the concern in Azriel’s eyes, Aelin lay a hand upon his shoulder, gentle but unyielding, “She’s survived worse, Shadowsinger. Don’t underestimate her, you won’t survive the humiliation.”

Silenced followed after that, well, silence for Azriel at least. Whilst he traced the contours of her face, the rest of the room spent some time reminiscing, talking fondly of Erilea which Azriel somewhat listened to but didn’t engage with. All he could really wonder was what place could be so worthy of someone so perfect, and part of him wanted to walk the streets of Doranelle for a moment so that he would be able to understand it.

Only when Yrene would periodically swim by would Azriel lift his eyes to give her a thankful smile that she would return with an unspoken warmth. It seemed as though y/n had a family of her own, just like he did, a family not of blood, but of unbroken bonds and unyielding wrathful friendship. They’d all die for one another, it was something Azriel could resonate with.

After an hour, the doors to the chamber opened and Feyre stepped in, fumbling with her fingers and eyes floating through the room until they landed on Azriel and Y/N, and she found her heart fluttering at the way he looked at her, it reminding her of how Rhys’ gaze embedded itself into her at all times.

The expectant void of words caused Feyre to float back into the room, “Rhys would like a meeting. We should discuss next steps in this war and in y/n’s recovery. Yrene can stay with her, it won’t take long.” Aelin rolled her eyes but stood, muttering something about a false king under her breath which caused Rowan to chortle a laugh as they passed by Feyre. “You too, Az.”

“I’ll take care of her,” Yrene told him softly once she realised the reluctance in his eyes and the way his fingers curled tighter around her hand, “If anything happens, I’ll call for you. I promise.”

Stiffly nodding, Azriel stood from his seat that was imprinted with his frame, he pressed his lips tenderly to the pallid and slightly bruised knuckles of y/n before laying her hand softly upon the mattress and following after Feyre, stealing one last look at the fussing Yrene as her glowing hands floated over y/n’s torso yet again.

Azriel trailed behind the group, lingering at the side of his High Lady as they all sauntered through the halls of the House of Wind. Whilst pacing through the fortress, Azriel couldn't help but allow his gaze to float between each one of the other-worldly beings. Beginning with Aelin and tracking how her arm slid around Rowan's waist, to Rowan who placed a tender kiss upon her brow, to Aedion and Lorcan who were bustling shoulder to shoulder, clearly being too large for the width of the halls, and then there was Manon, red cloak swaying at her back and moon-white hair braided over her shoulder whilst her eyes darted past every doorway like she could see beyond them.

Yes, Azriel was very sure of y/n's safety being almost a guarantee.

With all of his watching and observing, he didn't notice the eyes of Feyre drifting over his face with a quirked smirk tugging at the corner of her lips, "You don't leave her side. Why?" Feyre asked quietly, catching how his eyes thinned slightly as he searched his mind for an answer that would appease her.

"I feel guilty," he tried to say, but the heaviness of his voice betrayed his words.

Feyre gently slipped her arm around his, resting her fingers on the indent of his elbow and pulling him into her side softly. "No. I don't think that's why," she gave him a pointed look, one loaded with knowing, "You feel something for her, despite only knowing her for a few days. What draws you to her?"

A more adequate question would be what didn't draw Azriel to y/n?

"I wasn't sure at first. If you had asked me why I couldn't concentrate at the High Lord's Meeting then I would have told you the truth. It was because of her. Not because she was new, or because I thought she was a threat..." Azriel trailed off, his voice softening and shoulders falling lax, like all tension had floated away, "It was because looking at her made me feel like I was finally home. There is a warmth within her, and a darkness that mirrors my own. She is fierce and tortured, but gentle in ways no one would ever be able to begin to understand. Y/N has spent her life fighting, being used for what she can offer but not being appreciated for who she is, and I think that I understand that."

"So, you seek to protect her?"

"No," Azriel sighed, looking to Feyre with a sparkle in his eyes that she'd never though she would ever get to witness, "Well, yes. But I seek to give her a life free of torment. A life of love and one void of the restraints of her station. I seek to be her freedom, Feyre."

The High Lady of the Night Court found herself blushing from sheer excitement. Feyre had noticed it the moment y/n had waltzed into their lives, limbs exposed and hair flowing, eyes glowing with the light of a thousand storms; she had seen something spark, a cog falling into place after so long tumbling around without purpose.

"Does it help that she is the most beautiful thing to walk the universe?"

Azriel scoffed, "Her beauty is incomparable to what lies beneath it," he told Feyre, glancing sidelong with a smirk, "But I suppose she isn't half bad to look at."

Feyre tried to conceal her chuckle behind her hand as they both entered the dining room that Rhys had converted into a meeting room for the sake of convenience.

It was clear that sleep had escaped him, and what was even more pristine was the fact that Aelin could not have cared less about it as she took her place at the head of the table, further solidifying her position as leader of their little merged group. Rhys didn't contest, instead he simply moved to the opposing end, motioning for Azriel and Feyre to take a place either side of him.

A usually convivial dining table now swimming with discontent from two sides.

Aelin assumed her usual position. Legs propped against the tabletop. Arms folded over her chest. Dagger gleaming in the pale lights and reflecting upon the ceiling. A warning. A dare.

"Have you figured it out yet?" Aelin's head curled to meet Rhys' sight, "Have you figured out how this world knew of her and the only thing that can weaken her?"

Silence consumed the room like thick onyx poison, drowning and dimming all forms of barely there happiness. Rhys shuffled in his seat. He had to send himself on such a mission since he knew that Azriel refused to leave his sisters side, and he had come up empty handed.

The location of y/n's downfall had been left void of any traces of armies and magic, the only sign of this incident occurring being the blood soaked earth where Rhys had stood for an hour cursing himself for even thinking about sending her away when he had only just gotten her back.

If he could, he would go back and rip the order from his mouth. He'd carve out his own tongue to keep her hidden.

"No," Rhys spoke roughly with a throat that hadn't been quenched by water in what felt to him like days. "I assure you that such knowledge has never reached Prythian. I sent word to Helion and Thesan, enquiring if such a poison were in any of their libraries. There isn't."

Lorcan scoffed and glanced to Rowan who had his lip curled upward into a snarl from his place beside Aelin, "And you believe them?"

Sprinkles of magic littered the air, casting a faint shimmer that filled the spaces of the open arched windows whilst the faint sound of laughter from the mouths of little ones echoed upward to the House of Wind.

"I do," Rhys gulped. The High Lord of the Night Court ran a hand down his face that was soaked with exhaustion. "Helion and Thesan aren't only High Lords of Prythian. They are friends of the Night Court, and their lives have been dedicated to research and healing. They would never withhold such information."

"Forgive me for not believing a word of it," Aelin muttered, fingers tracing along the hilt of the dagger on the table. "Your enemy knew that she would come. He knew she would come looking for him, and he knew exactly how to ensure her death. If it weren't for that last burst of power that brought Aedion and Lorcan to her position, she'd be gone." Aelin leant forward in her seat, feet falling flat against the ground and venom laced in her words.

"You foolish man. Sending not only your long lost sister but our queen into the belly of a beast without being able to ensure her safety. Your world isn't the only one at stake here. If she cannot recover from this then your world will perish, and our world will have lost its fiercest warrior."

Manon chuckled, pulling the attention of the room to her, and Cassian who was placed beside her leant away from the talons she was running the pads of her fingers down lazily. "In other words, if she dies here, we'll ensure that you do too. Or well, I will," Manon flashed her iron teeth at Rhys, causing Feyre to shift uncomfortably in her seat as her fingers became entwined in his own, allowing her power to ebb and flow from her essence in response to Manon's threat.

Remembering his position, Azriel's eyes manoeuvred over Manon, then Aedion and Lorcan whose fists were clenched but possessed tired eyes, before landing on Aelin and Rowan who were struggling to contain themselves. Tendrils of shadow scattered over his shoulders, dancing wildly in a brisk wind from an opened door, sauntering up and down and shaking in rhythm with a silent, reverberating thumping that was grasping at and rattling his bones.

"I think it would be wise to refrain from talking to my brother like that," the room collectively snapped its gaze to the doorway, and Aelin rose to her feet instantly.

Before them all stood a pale but healing y/n. She was grasping at her side but walked forward with a pride Aelin had never seen before, not in someone who was hours ago so close to the grave. There was something dark about her, the power itself or the contrast of her hair and eyes against her whitened skin Aelin wasn't sure. But what was clear was that she knew something, the truth and ire dancing in the dimness of her eyes. Something that could change the course of all of their fates.

Y/N's silver skirt kissed the ground as she stopped at Rhys' side, laying her hand atop his shoulder and squeezing it weakly, "I can understand being protective," y/n moved her eyes around the room, slowly raking over each one of her Erilean family, "But don't be mistaken into believing that threatening my blood is big or wise. I decided to take to those skies alone. It is my doing and mine alone."

Azriel felt his heart stop when her eyes finally found him, and he stood instantly, offering his arm and seat and feeling a sense of completeness when she accepted his touch and found comfort in the sensation of his presence behind her.

"Y/N-"

"I'm not finished," a voice of dread and death cut through the plea that fell from Aedion's lips, a voice of a ruler, a voice of one of the most deadly beings the universe would ever know. Inhaling deeply, y/n closed her eyes for a moment, as though she was preparing herself for something, and in sensing her discomfort and hesitation, Azriel lay his hand at the top of her spine, allowing every emotion and ounce of pain to wash through his veins.

Y/N visibly relaxed.

"In my sleep, the attack played in my mind over and over again, not like a nightmare, but in a way to make me see the truth. To push me to see beyond the pain," her eyes were downcast, but she moved backward into Azriel's hand, feeling a blanket of certainty and warmth coiling around her frame. "When I was flying over their camp, I felt the power of the cauldron. It was a drowning feeling, it made me feel confused almost, and I felt a certain type of dread. I was scared."

Y/N's eyes dragged down the table, settling on Rowan with eyebrows tight and fear visible within her irises. "There has only ever been one form of power that has ever made me feel like that. Maybe I was too wrapped up in what was happening to realise it."

"What are you saying, y/n?" Rowan urged, knuckles turning pale from his grip around the arms of his chair.

Without thinking about it, y/n's fingers faintly traced over the scar that had held Azriel's attention in the cabin. A morbid reminder.

"Dorian and I had a theory. That souls from our world didn't pass on into the afterlife but rather fell through the plains separating Erilea from other worlds. It had only ever really been a theory, but it was something that we couldn't stop thinking about. It haunted us in a way."

Because they had both lost a parent.

"But being here now with a poison in my veins so putrid and complex that no one from this world could have ever known of it. I realise what is happening." Aelin leaned forward, gaze flickering over the face of her friend until their eyes met. "There is only one person who knows how to make it. Only one person who would find joy in seeing me dead. Only one person who would seek to ensure the upmost pain. Only one person whose power terrifies me."

Aelin's eyes blew wide. "No," she spoke a hush above a whisper, "It can't be. She's dead. You killed her."

"What's going on?" Rhys entwined his fingers with those of his sister, feeling her fear bristling against the walls of her mind like a battering ram, splintering and wrecking the cage of her consciousness.

Realisation was floating about the room, to all those bar the Inner Circle. Rowan's head hung low, his eyes closed and nostrils flaring with each inhale and exhale, and Aedion couldn't lift his eyes from the tabletop.

"Maeve is here. My mother has come to punish me by devouring your world. Only when you're all dead will she kill me, and then can she conquer Erilea for the final time. Who knows, she might even keep me alive long enough to watch Doranelle and Terrasen burn." Y/N turned to Rhys, bottom lip almost wobbling, "I'm sorry. This is happening because of what I did."

Rhys dropped to his knees before her, taking her burning face in his hands and stroking his thumbs along her cheekbones. "We'll face it. We'll face her. And may the Mother grant her some mercy when I get my hands on her." He read the depleting light in her eyes, knowing that whatever energy she had been granted was wavering. "Let's get you back to bed. We can face this tomorrow. We still have time."

The High Lord of the Night Court went to hook an arm beneath his sisters arms, but she wrenched herself away to the side, still under the touch of Azriel, and looked upward to him. It was a silent plead, the widened watering eyes and a gentle shrug that lifted her shoulders.

Azriel moved instantly, scooping y/n into his arms and hugging her tightly into his chest, propping his chin on the crown of her head as he wordlessly carried her away.

Author's Note

I know it's been ages and I'M SO SORRY

Taglist

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highqueenofelfhame · 27 days ago

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oh, hi.

it has been a hot ass minute but i'm back baybeee. seriously though, if you're still here, still reading this, and still excited there was an update, thank you from the bottom of my heart. i love u guys to pieces!! enjoy <3

The cotton candy hues of the sunset were fading to nothing as he pulled into the long driveway to his house. Lights illuminated the edge of the path, but his house sat dark at the very end until he opened the gate, passed through, waited for it to close behind him, then signaled the garage to open. As soon as he opened the garage, his phone began to ring.

The shrill ringtone was enough to make his heart skip a beat in his chest before he realized the name and photo on his screen. Golden Boyo flashed across the top accompanied by a picture of the two of them holding a World Cup trophy high above their heads.

A heavy sigh escaped deep from within Rowan’s chest and he almost didn’t answer. His heavily tattooed thumb hovered over the deny button until he realized he had hardly texted anyone back all weekend. The thought of leaving his friends in the dust didn’t sit right with him when he knew for a fact that Aelin would likely yell at him for it until she was blue in the face and needed to lie down.

Against his better judgment, he answered. Even worse: he showed up at the bar his teammates were meeting up near Lorcan’s place. While he needed to be fully ready for practice, his friendships needed nurturing as well. It didn’t matter that he felt old and tired. It had been awhile since he met up with the guys and by the time Rowan was a few beers in, he felt better about the whole situation.

“We have practice tomorrow,” Lorcan reminded Fenrys. His tone was stern, his words were the law. It didn’t, however, change the way Fen’s eyes were roaming the bar looking for a body to explore all night. Rowan smirked, feeling the buzz from his drinks.

“That’s never stopped me before.” Fenrys winked at a man near the dartboard and Rowan watched as a rosy blush crept over the man’s face. No, it had never stopped him before. It was a lesson he still hadn’t learned: a sex marathon the night before practice or a game never did him any good. In fact, it made him play like absolute shit most of the time. “Speaking of people we’re bedding, how’s Aelin doing?”

“We aren’t sleeping together,” Rowan muttered into his pint glass. “She’s been sick a lot. Thankfully she can work from home most of the time.”

“Are we sure—“ Lorcan began, but Rowan held up a hand to stop him. He wasn’t dealing with his bullshit tonight regarding the legitimacy of the pregnancy. Rowan had no doubts, and was even happy. Lorcan was just looking out, but it didn’t stop the irritation that flooded him when he brought out his accusations and reservations.

“We’re positive. They’re the best ace I’ve ever gotten.”

“That’s cute,” Fenrys swooned. His chin was propped on his fist while he looked at Rowan.

“What?”

“You called them an ace.” Warmth bloomed up his neck, all the way to the tips of his ears. The alcohol had loosened his lips and let the truth flow freely.

“Well,” he grumbled. “All it took was once and now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“You’re pathetic,” was all Lorcan said in response. Rowan couldn’t disagree. He was nothing if not a love sick puppy waiting for his girl to really come around to the idea of them.

Pathetic, indeed.

~*~

The blender was a blur of green and entirely too loud. Rowan was definitely getting old if the few beers he had the night before led to such a hangover. Being out so late last night was probably a mistake, but it had been fun to hang out with the guys outside of practice for once. Rowan was feeling it this morning though, already several pain killers deep. Water. He needed a lot of water.

He knew the greens and hydration would cure his ailments, but the sound of his phone buzzing might send him over the edge first. When his phone started ringing, he wanted to throw it into the blender, too.

Rowan wiped a towel over his face. His pulse pounded in his skull while sweat slipped down his face in lazy rivers from the workout that had kicked his ass. He stared down at his phone, the screen lighting up with the one person he truly had been avoiding since his relationship with Aelin began.

MOM CALLING…

He needed to call her. It was bad enough that his relationship was now public and he’d barely told his mom anything about Aelin, but he really needed to clue her in on the pregnancy. If that got out before it came from him she would be deeply wounded and he didn’t like the sound of that.

The texts she sent him were always a myriad of questions about Aelin. His mom wanted to know what she was like, where she was from, what her hobbies were. Most of that could be found on a google search, but his mom was old and barely had a grasp on the internet. Iris Whitethorn preferred books and newspapers to even learning what the internet had to offer. It was the only reason he had hope that he would beat the world to the pregnancy announcement. Regardless, the papers weren’t how he wanted to find out about his relationship, and she had.

He needed to be a better son.

That little fact hit him harder when he looked through his texts with his mom. All of them were incoming with varying questions about the girl in the photos. What was going on? Who was she? She’s awfully pretty. Rowan felt like he barely had any answers, so he hadn’t responded. While he sipped down his green juice and devoured his breakfast, he vowed to respond to her later today. A phone call was in order for all the shit he had to relay to her at this point.

Was a phone call enough to tell her about the baby? Probably not. Fuck.

Rowan’s hands raked through his hair while he gave himself a moment to groan his frustrations into the universe, hoping the answers would come back to him. There was no time for him to go see her soon. By the time he found a date that would work for both he and Aelin, it might be too late. She could be showing by then with rumors swirling through the media. He had no fucking idea how to tell her anyway. A flurry of emotions ran through his mind while he changed and got ready for practice. All of this would, unfortunately, have to wait.

Nothing yet from Aelin.. Rowan frowned. Sure, it was a bright and early 7 AM, but she was usually already up and getting her day started. He texted her first, wishing her a good day with hopes she felt better.

Rowan sighed heavily. The secret he was keeping curled into a ball in the pit of his stomach. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could avoid telling her. Well, avoid wasn’t the right word. He just didn’t have the words to tell her he got a girl he barely knows pregnant and, yes, it’s actually his baby. It was still early, anyway. Still, it wasn’t sitting right with him. He would make a trip to go and see her soon and tell her then.

>> Mom: I want to know about this girl you’re seeing, Rowan Matthias.

<< Rowan: I’ll call you after practice. I promise.

>> Mom: You better.

~*~

Last night had been fun, but all the sprints and drills during practice were making Rowan nauseous. For the second time today, sweat was streaking down his entire body while he squirted water into his mouth. Gods, Coach was on one. It was like he knew every time there was a night out and made them work even harder.

Rowan was relieved when they were told to hit the showers. The guys followed behind him, Fenrys groaning about a persistent headache between his eyes. Even Lorcan, who was an absolute tank when it came to alcohol, was cursing and moaning. It would have been funny if he wasn’t in the same boat.

The steaming shower he stepped into was almost holy. Hot water pelted his body while he washed himself, taking a little more time than usual because of his ailments. He could feel his muscles loosening with every breath he took and Gods, it felt so good. When he finally wrapped it up, he quickly dried and got dressed. His friends were teasing each other while they did the same.

“Go a little too hard last night, Lorcan?” Fenrys crooned, wrapping his golden curls into a messy bun atop his head.

“I really don’t think you want to go down this road, pup,” he grumbled back. A smile twitched at the corner of Rowan’s lips as he grabbed his phone, deciding now was as good a time as any to call his mother.

“Hello?” Her sweet voice chimed after two rings.

“Good morning, mama,” he said, zipping his bag and tossing it over his shoulder.

“You’ve been ignoring my calls.” Not a question, though there was some hurt behind her words. Rowan rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Just busy with practice and games.”

“Is that Aelin?” Fenrys called from across the room. He pulled a shirt on and began to walk over to Rowan. “Is she still sick?”

“Is who still sick?” His mom inquired. Again, he sighed and shot Fen a warning look.

“Aelin has been feeling under the weather, Mom,” he emphasized her name and Fenrys looked immediately apologetic. Great.

“Well, what's the matter? I might have some good advice, you know. You better be taking care of that girl. Has she gotten you sick?”

“Nausea, maybe a stomach bug, no I’m not sick, and no I’m not taking care of her. She won’t let me. Aelin is so independent that I can’t get her to depend on me for anything right now.” It was probably a bigger truth than he was ready to share with his mom, much less all his friends. He made his way out of the locker room and Fen shouted an apology after him. Rowan flippantly waved his hand as the door shut behind him.

“Well, let's start with some remedies. I have just the thing that will help. It’s a tea I drank through my entire pregnancy to fight the nausea and it works like a charm.” Rowan almost choked at the mention of a pregnancy. Did she somehow know already? She couldn’t find out from anyone but him. It would destroy her if she discovered the news on a tabloid site. Fuck.

“That’d be great, I’ll send it to her.”

“Better yet, I’m due for a visit. How about I drive up and make it for her myself?” Shit. Fuck. Godsdamn the universe.

“Mom, right now isn’t really–”

“It’s never a good time,” she interjected. “You’ll be busy regardless. I don’t mind a little time on my own while you practice. It’ll give me plenty of time to get to know Aelin, too.”

“She lives in Varese,” he told her, trying to get her to back down.

“I know she does. Tabloids have pictures of you hanging around there any chance you get. And anyway, Fenrys has loose lips. Tell me her name again?”

“If you’ve seen the news articles, you know her name already.” There were plenty of grainy pictures of them sipping drinks at The Neon Moon, plus pap shots of them everywhere else. Rowan wasn’t used to quite so much attention. Sure, there were the occasional paparazzi that snapped photos of him around town, but with Aelin at his side it seemed to be more than usual.

“Aelin. Her name is Aelin Galathynius, but you already know that.”

“Well, since you aren’t taking care of Aelin I’m going to drive up and do it myself. Sometimes us women just don’t know how to ask for help when it’s needed. Besides, the poor girl doesn’t have her own mother close by to lean on for support. Maternal comfort goes a long way.”

There was no getting out of this. Maybe it would be a good thing, he pondered. They could tell her in person and maybe she wouldn’t go ballistic if Aelin was there. Stressful as all hell, but maybe it could work if he could get Aelin to come stay for a day or two.

“Yeah, okay. See you tomorrow, then?”

“I’ll be there in the morning,” she swore before hanging up. Now he just had to get Aelin to come down.

Rowan slumped down into his car and immediately called Aelin. His thumbs drummed on the steering wheel while it rang and rang, his anxiety building in his gut. A thousand things ran through his head: Was it too soon? Would it be weird? What if they didn’t get along?

“Hey you,” she said when the call connected, her voice like music to his ears. It soothed his anxiety, just talking to her. Just by being her.

“Hi.” It was impossible to stop the smile that crept over his face as he dropped his bag in the backseat and got in his car. “I have a favor to ask and an apology to give.”

“I’m intrigued, do go on.” Rowan chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. Hervoice filtered through his car speakers, surrounding him wholly.

“Fenrys accidentally told my mom you’ve been sick and now she’s determined that you need her special tea and maternal comfort.”

“Ah,” she said, clearing her throat. “So is the favor meeting your mom? And is the apology for Fenrys?”

“The favor is that you come stay with me for a few days to meet her and let her mother hen you to death because there was no way I was getting out of this scenario while talking to her. But if you refuse I can try to get her to back down.” When Aelin laughed, a weight lifted from his chest. “The apology is for roping you into this mess. And for Fen.”

Aelin laughed, “I accept both. I’d love to meet your mom. Plus, maybe we can tell her about the baby while she’s here.”

Rowan was relieved she was so open to the whole ordeal. His heart squeezed in his chest that she wanted to meet his mom. Fuck, he was so gone for this girl. He was on a free fall and only she could catch him. He wasn’t looking forward to finding out what would happen if she didn’t.

“She’ll be here tomorrow. Is that okay?” He could hear papers shuffling in the background, the sound of a zipper and a small sigh from his girl.

“I’ll pack a suitcase and be there in a bit. I’ll bring my work stuff with me and set up in your office, if that’s okay.”

“What's mine is yours,” he swore.

“Okay,” she said softly, and Rowan could hear the smile in her voice. He was grinning, too.

“Okay. See you soon.”

“See you soon, Ro.” Ro. Was she trying to get him to crash his car from a heart explosion? He disconnected the call as he pulled into his driveway and took a deep breath. This was a good thing, right?

~*~

“Ro?” Aelin called out, stepping through the front door. He’d left it unlocked for her in case he was busy when she arrived.

“Kitchen!” He called back, so Aelin slipped off her shoes and padded through the house until she rounded the corner and saw him standing at the stove.

His sleeves were pushed up above his elbows and an apron was around his neck. A cutting board of vegetables sat on the counter while he stirred something in a pan. It smelled devine, and wasn’t making her stomach turn which was a huge win. Everything was setting it off lately.

“I know tacos are a safe food right now, so I thought we’d try fajitas to switch things up,” he said over his shoulder, turning briefly to grab the cutting board. The contents were dumped into the pan and she circled the counter, pausing beside him. Rowan stirred with his left hand and wrapped his right around her waist. Her stomach fluttered at the contact, but she didn’t pull away.

“Thank you,” she said, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“Always.” Aelin smiled up at him before stepping away to get a glass of water.

They made small talk while he cooked, everything from their days to little tidbits of what his mom was like. According to Rowan, she was the best mom in the world. He gushed about her cooking, about how he raised her alone after his father passed away when he was ten. She’s fiercely loyal to her people, and loves Rowan more than anything in the world. If the sun revolved around people, Iris would surely revolve around Rowan. He insisted it would be the same for Aelin and their baby.

The thought warmed her. This baby would have the best community in their corner. Not having to worry about the lack of a village was a huge relief. Everyone was dying to be involved on both sides, and many of Rowan’s teammates contacted Aelin just to check in on her. Aedion and Lysandra were already vying for favorite aunt/uncle. No, this baby would never know what it was like to not feel wholly loved by their people.

After dinner, they cleaned up despite Rowan’s protests that she didn’t need to do anything. Aelin dismissed him with the wave of her hand and worked on the dishes while he put away leftovers. He was right; it was a refreshing change to eat something other than tacos.

“I’m gonna shower,” she sighed, arms stretched above her head. Even though it was still pretty early, she was more than ready to don pajamas, curl up, and decompress from work and the drive down.

“I’m not going anywhere,” was his reply, and she knew he meant it more than just right now. Biting her lip, she slipped out of the kitchen and made her way upstairs.

The best shower in the house was Rowan’s. It had a rainwater shower head that felt so luxurious that Aelin swore she was going to get one for her house in Orynth. As soon as she stepped in she felt the day simply melt away. Hot water trickled down her skin while she carefully washed her body, then her hair. She really needed to get this showerhead. It was the height of luxury at the moment.

After drying off and changing clothes, she went back downstairs and found Rowan on the couch. He had changed clothes and was now in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Something about it was really doing something for Aelin. His tattooed bicep was along the back of the couch and she wanted to trace the lines everywhere they turned. When he looked up at her and grinned, something fluttered in her stomach. Gods, she was so screwed.

“Good shower?”

“Mhm,” she hummed, sitting close enough that his fingers brushed her shoulder. Rowan toyed with the ends of her damp hair for a moment, and Aelin was stunned at how comfortable the silence was. Nothing was being said, or communicated in any way, but it was such a cozy silence. She’d never experienced anything quite like it before.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Rowan said carefully, “but you look exhausted.”

Aelin took no offence, laughing as she rubbed her face. It was true. She wasn’t sleeping much, and when she did it was restless. Her hips were already beginning to ache and she wasn’t looking forward to it getting worse as her body grew and changed. Still, she was so tired. Most of the time she was asleep by nine-thirty.

“Because I am,” she sighed. “There’s so much that needs to be done for the foundation before the office launch here. I feel like I’m treading water because there’s always more to do. I love my job, and I can’t wait to see the effects it has on the community, but I think I forgot how much it is. All the events I need to organize, getting the office picture perfect. My team is amazing but some days I get asked so many questions that I never want to speak again.”

“What you’re doing is fantastic, and I will be at every event I can be. However, if you need to take a breather, take one. A day off is okay. You can do all of this, I don’t doubt it, but you are growing a human. It might slow you down a little, but you’ll get it taken care of.”

“I haven’t told my staff yet. I want to wait until my next scan to make sure everything is good before I tell anyone else. Except your mom, if you want to do that while she’s here. Family doesn’t count. Anyway, I think they’ll understand my work-from-home days a little more once the cat is out of the bag. I think Luca is on to me, though. Kid is way too perceptive and I’ve been spending way too much time with him working on the website.”

“I’m sure they’re sympathetic now. Plus, you’re getting everything done you need to, right?”

“Of course. I think that’s part of why I’m so tired. I’ll stay until like eight, and then go home and eat, shower, and go to bed.” She sighed again, fingers running through her hair.

“Why don’t you get some sleep? My mom can be a lot,” he admitted.

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer. I swear I’m usually a lot more fun than this,” she laughed, and he joined in with her. His hand cupped her cheek, thumb running over her skin. There were calluses on his hands that always felt strangely good.

“Goodnight, then.” His hand dropped from her face and she was glad. Heat was creeping onto her cheeks and if she didn’t get out of there, she would look like a tomato soon. It was ridiculous that his touch set her aflame so easily. Aelin wasn’t sure she would ever get used to it.

Upstairs, she wasn’t sure which room to enter. There was Rowan’s room, and then the guest room. They didn’t say anything about sleeping together tonight. Hell, Rowan didn’t broach the topic at all. It was tempting to crawl into his bed, but she turned into the guest room, which was unofficially her room, instead.

~*~

Aelin couldn’t sleep. It was just after ten, and she had maybe dozed off once for a few minutes. Otherwise she was watching the ceiling fan whirring above her head. The house was so quiet. Much better than her apartment, where upstairs neighbors were sometimes a little heavy footed. Not too long ago,she heard Rowan walk down the hall and close his door. She chewed on her lip, gave herself a little pep talk, then pushed out of bed and opened her door before she could talk herself out of it.

Two knocks on his door, followed by a soft, “Rowan?”

“Come in, love,” she heard, muffled through the door. Once it was open she was treated to a shirtless Rowan sitting up in bed. Glasses were perched on his nose and he seemed to be reading a book.

“Hey,” she said, lip tucking between her teeth while she rocked back and forth on her heels.

“Hi,” he chuckled, shutting the book and putting it on his nightstand. “What are you doing awake?”

“I can’t sleep. Plus, like, your mom is under the assumption that we’re together so we probably need to sleep in the same room anyway. Why not start now? And we’re not not together, so it would be weird if we weren’t sleeping in the same room. You know?”

“I think if we’re not not together, that means we’re together, Aelin.” A smile was tugging at his lips and she wanted to kiss it until she saw all of his teeth. She took it as her chance to walk over and get in bed with him, wiggling down in the blankets and pillows until she was fully enveloped in his scent.

“Call it what you want,” she shrugged, the blanket covering the little grin on her face.

“What are you calling it?” Rowan tilted his head slightly, glasses sliding down his nose. Gods, he was so… there were so many words for what he was right now. All of them were positive because this look and banter was really doing it for her.

“You know I’m calling you my boyfriend.” Aelin’s eyes rolled in an attempt to seem nonchalant.

“You can trust me, Aelin,” he said softly, hand reaching to cover hers. Their fingers slid together seamlessly, and more of that fluttery nonsense took over her stomach. She licked her lips, eyes focused on their hands.

“I know.” And she did. They barely knew each other, yet she knew he was becoming a safe person for her. There weren’t too many of those anymore. Her inner circle was small, yet she knew that because of Rowan, it was growing.

“Yeah?” His finger bumped beneath her chin and she looked at him, fighting the tears that threatened to pour over.

“You’re going to make me cry, and then your mom is going to be here in the morning while I have a puffy, red face. I’ll look like a little tomato and I’ll be really mad about it.” Rowan snorted, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.

“A beautiful tomato,” he said, lips pressing to the top of her head like he couldn’t help himself. Beneath the blankets, she was smiling.

“Maybe after your mom leaves… maybe we can talk before I go back to Wendlyn?” She lowered the blankets beneath her chin and looked up at him. A single tear had managed to escape and he wiped it with his fingertips.

“It’s a date,” he promised, nodding his head almost too-eagerly. Clearly he was waiting for this moment. Aelin hated that she had to be so guarded these days, but there was too much damage in her past to not be. Her heart had been crushed into oblivion before, and she couldn’t risk it. Now that a baby was involved? Gods, she had to be so, so careful.

“Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” She finally asked, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth. Rowan’s eyes widened at the inquiry, mouth opening and closing several times before he found letters to string into a sentence.

“I wasn’t sure you were ready for that,” he said slowly, reaching out to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. Aelin smiled, a whisper of a laugh escaping her mouth.

“I’m ready to be kissed, Rowan.”

It seemed that he didn’t have to be told twice. Rowan leaned in and kissed her lips softly as if testing the waters. Aelin was the one to melt into him, fingers braiding into his hair to pull him closer. He groaned quietly, parting his lips and she was more than eager to sweep her tongue against his.

Gods, yes. This. There had been moments where she wondered if the tension was only that. Just tension that fizzled out after the first entanglement. The feeling in the pit of her stomach told her otherwise. Butterflies fluttered up her ribcage and she gasped. It wasn’t a one time thing. If she played her cards right… she could have this forever.

The thought clanged through her, sobering her enough that she tugged on his hair a little. Rowan groaned and it really didn’t help dampen her desire. The sound was delicious, something she wanted to eat like cake until he had nothing else to give her.

“Rowan,” she finally sighed, his lips closing over her pulse. Fuck, it felt so good. “We said slow.”

“This is slow,” he murmured, teeth grazing her skin and tongue doing the laziest swirl over her skin. Oh, gods.

“Slower,” she laughed, taking his face in her hands and pulling him away herself before her resolve withered into nothing.

“Whatever you want,” he promised, licking his lips. Rowan’s cheeks were flushed and she had to lean in and kiss them both, planting one more on his lips. It would be a lie if she said she wasn’t melting at the sight of him, rosy cheeks and crinkles by his eyes from smiling.

“I know it’s not easy–”

“I’ll do anything you want. I’ll wait until you’re ready. Not just for sex. For everything.” Everything. Aelin’s heart fluttered madly in her chest, shaking her ribcage. Wasn’t that the part she was most scared of? It excited the hell out of her at the same time. Everything with Rowan was scary, and yet… Aelin found herself looking forward to it.

It was easy to curl up in his arms, head on his chest. One of his hands traced sleepy shapes over her back and shoulders, and when sleep came to claim her, she had no say in the matter. Feeling safer than she had in awhile, she counted the beats of his heart until she fell asleep.

let me know if you want to be tagged!! bold wouldn't tag <3

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#throne of glass #tog #rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #fanfiction #rowaelin fic #fanfic #rowaelin fanfic #aelin galathynius #fenrys moonbeam #lorcan salvaterre #writing

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rainingriversofyou · 7 months ago

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Aelin, Rowan, Manon, Dorian, Lysandra, Aedion, Elide & Lorcan

Throne Of Glass / Artist: @madschofield

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highladyofterrasen7 · 1 year ago

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Dorian: c’mon Manon let’s go get married without them

Manon: whose gonna be the witness?

Dorian: fenrys

#sarah j maas #throne of glass #dorian havilliard #aelin galythinius #rowan whitethorn #chaol westfall #manon blackbeak #manorian #yrene towers #rowaelin #fenrys moonbeam #lorcan salvaterre #elide lochan #tower of dawn #empire of storms #chaorene

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moonlitstoriess · 7 months ago

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Across the Universe-ch.14 (Fenrys x Reader)

Summary: Y/n has everything she needs in life. A family, friends, a safe place she calls home and most importantly a male whom she loves. What happens when it all changes when Y/n finds out about the betrayal of her lover and her so called family? Well, ending up in Terrasen and in queen Aelin's court was not what she expected but what she will need to start her new journey full of surprises.

Warnings: Some angst, injuries, past trauma

See masterlist

Something was wrong.

Something was definitely not right with him.

Y/n kept repeating these words in her head as she stood frozen, watching Fenrys watch her while holding his chest.

When she tried coming any closer, he held up his hand and said, "Y/n- I- Please"

She stood back but y/n was still fully confused. What was happening? Did his chest hurt? Why is he looking at her with so much shock?

"Fenrys what's-"

"Let's- let's go"

He slowly held out his hand for her to take but y/n saw the wariness, the worry and realization written all over his face as he refused to look at her. Anywhere but at her. He was clearly out of his mind now but she wouldn't question him yet. Not yet. He has something going on that he isn't sharing with her and y/n would eventually figure it out.

With an unsure and careful move, she took his hand and let Fenrys take them home. Y/n noticed how even though they were holding hands, he kept his distance from her and just kept staring straight as their surroundings began to blur.

Once they were back within the palace walls, Fenrys immediately let go of her hand, and for some reason, that caused her stomach to drop. By the sounds coming from the door down the hall, everyone else were having dinner.

She tried again, "Fenrys-"

Fenrys looked at the wall behind her, his eyes never straying towards her "You should go eat."

Y/n's hand came up to touch him "What about you?"

He quickly moved away from her touch, "I am not hungry. Good night, y/n."

She didn't even get to say something else as he abruptly turned around and left her alone. Feeling hurt, rejected and alone, y/n turned around towards the dining room and plastered on a fake smile as she entered the area.

The conversations stopped the second she entered through the doors, silence overtaking the room as Aelin said with a welcoming tone, "Y/n! we were wondering where you and Fenrys were but-"

"But decided to give you two lovebirds some privacy." Dorian finished with a knowing smirk, earning himself a glare from the queen.

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows as she came and sat beside Lysandra, "Lovebirds? We aren't in love."

Lysandra chuckled, "Y/n, dear, you are not the brightest are you?"

Y/n turned towards the shifter and gave her a glare, "What are you saying? What in the Mother's name is happening?"

Elide, the evercaring mother, stood up and poured some food on to y/n's plate as she said in the softest voice, "We all feel this....this tension between you two."

Lorcan scoffed, "Yeah, it's pretty hard to ignore with the way you two seem to only see one another whenever you are in the same place."

Y/n thanked Elide, before crossing her arms and leaning back on her chair, "That is absolutely not true. Fenrys and I are just friends."

She suddenly felt someone poke her in the arm and turned her head to see Eva, smiling menacingly, "It absolutely is true. You and Fen have this thing between you two. We all see it, we all feel it. Except you and him apparently."

Y/n raised her brows, stumbling over her words, "W-what? I-"

Rowan put down his cup and looked straight at her, "If you keep on denying it, it will be even more useless. We are all aware of your attraction towards one another so-"

Aedion quickly got up and rushed around to close Eva's ears as he said with a small smirk, "So just get to it. Rip off your clothes and fuck it out."

Lysandra gasped and got up to hit her husband. The whole room burst out in laughter and chuckles at that as y/n got up while choking out a "What? You are all crazy!"

Aelin just smiled, "Please don't take what we say to heart. On the contrary, we are very happy that Fenrys is finally giving attention to someon. It has been a while since we saw him this....lively and present, you know?"

Rowan held his mates hand as he said with a small smile, "He may not see it but Fenrys has never been more himself than when he is around you. Because of how you make him feel."

Y/n raised an eyebrow as she looked at the prince "And how do I make him feel exactly?"

Rowan gave her a small, knowing smile as he said,

"Alive."

Alive. That's what they think she made him feel. Y/n barely slept the whole night, preferring to overthink what everyone said during dinner instead. No, surely they must be wrong if they think that she makes him feel alive because Fenrys is anything but alive with her.

One moment he is kissing her, the other he is pushing her. He is being distant and yet getting all protective when something happens to her. He insists that there can never be anything between them because she will eventually have to leave and then kisses her again on top of showing her the place he has been hiding from the outer world. His safe haven. His secret garden.

She couldn't understand him. She couldn't understand what he was doing because Fenrys was being closed off and distant again. And this time, she had no idea why. Y/n didn't even know what she was feeling any more. Was she angry? Was she hopeful? Was she sad? She just.....was.

Whatever. Fenrys can go and do whatever he wants because she was not going to give him any attention anymore. He was right. After all, y/n would leave and this whole thing that is between them will never be anything more than a kiss. It's better to slowly forget about him starting from now. Maybe then her growing attraction and care for him would disappear.

With that final decision in mind, y/n pushed all her thoughts aside as she entered the healing hut to see how Petrah is doing. Once Isolde let her in, to her absolute zero surprise, she saw Lucien still in the same position but with different clothes, sitting next to Petrah. An awake Petrah!

Y/n couldn't hide the smile on her face and the relief she felt when she saw her fellow witch awake. "Petrah!"

Both Lucien and Petrah looked at her as she came towards the bed and stood next to the redhead prince, putting her hand on his shoulder.

Petrah gave her a small smile, "Hello, y/n."

"How are you feeling?"

Petrah shrugged but quickly winced and Lucien immediately put his hand on her shoulder, gently stopping her as he said, "She has been in and out of sleep for quite a while now, just woke up a short while ago when Manon and Lysandra came in to check on her and then fell asleep again."

Petrah sighed "I want to get up. Being bedridden is too suffocating."

Lucien gave her a gentle but firm look as he said, "You heard Isolde. Unless you want your stitches opening up--because there are many of them--you can't get up for a while."

Petrah was about to say something but a yawn overtook her and before she knew it, her eyes were closing again, softly lulling her to sleep.

Lucien smiled at that and gently pulled up the covers that she had pushed off over her body. Y/n smiled at her friend's care before sighing, "She lost a lot of blood and energy. I am no healer but I have seen enough of these kinds of injuries to know that she will be in and out of consciousness for a while."

Lucien sighed as he got up and went to pull the curtain over the window. "Yes, and I will be here for her every step of the way."

"Have you eaten?"

Lucien gave her a small nod as he went towards a pitcher filled with some drink and poured it into a cup to drink. Y/n looked at the sleeping witch on the bed and then at her friend on the other side of the room before deciding to ask, "Lu, is there something going on between you and Petrah?"

She saw his back visibly stiffen befor he sighed and looked down while holding the table, still not turning towards her. And then, Lucien whispered the three words that made y/n fall into the chair out of shock.

"She is my mate, y/n."

"Repeat that."

This time, he turned to look at her as he said, "She is my mate. And she has no idea."

Y/n thought her jaw must have hit the floor because of how shocked she was. Sensing that she wouldn't be able to utter a single word, Lucien just went on, "I felt it when she was getting healed here after the injury. Had to leave the room for a moment and gather my thoughts before returning to her side."

Y/n only managed to whisper a few words, "How? But- I- Elain- What?!"

Lucien shrugged, "I think you were right after all. The Cauldron made a mistake with me and Elain. With her, I never felt this bond, I never felt anything except this sense of responsibility about making her accept me. But with Petrah....y/n, I feel it all. I feel the bond and I feel a rush of emotions whenever I am with her. I constantly want to be with her. I enjoy her company."

Y/n nodded slowly, gathering her thoughts as she asked, "And will you tell her once she is in a proper state of mind?"

He shook his head.

"Why? Don't you think it's her right to know, Lu?"

He sighed and looked down saying, "If she doesn't feel what I felt, if the bond doesn't appear for her then what's the point of embarrassing myself? Besides we will leave anyway-"

"Lucien, listen to me. You can never keep this from her and do not tell me that she won't like you or something similar because that is not for you to decide. Once she is well, you must let her know and then, if she accepts it, you have to put your happiness before anything else-"

"Y/n-"

"No. Lu, please, let me finish."

He nodded stiffly.

"She is your mate, Lucien. Mate. If she accepts it, how can you leave her behind? And no, she won't leave her family, her friends, her queen and come with you to a foreign world. To Prythian. So don't even think of that. And think of it this way, if you never tell her and she never finds out, then you will go back knowing that you left your mate, your other half in a completely different world. Is that what you want? You like her Lu, and I am not saying you should start mating immediately, no. You could begin to know one another and see where it leads. But please, Lucien, do not run away from what's meant for you."

Lucien was staring at her with wide eyes as he coughed out, "Oh, wow. Did not think I would ever get lectured by you, but here we are. I will take your advice, but....I don't know y/n, what about my family and friends? How will I see them?"

Y/n gave him a small, unsure smile, "We will find a way, Lu. We will find a way."

Mate.

Y/n was his mate.

Fenrys didn't know what to think or feel anymore. He was so lost. For so long, he has been waiting for the moment where he would find his mate. The one meant for him. That he would get to spend the rest of his remaining years with the love of his life by his side. But, it's as if the Gods were laughing at him, mocking him. Well, there were no Gods anymore but still.

At first, Fenrys was beyond happy. Beyond shocked and beyond excited. Y/n, the one who has had his attention for a while now, turned out to be his mate. She wasn't just his witchling now, she was also his mate.

He should have known, he should have known from the first time he felt anything towards her that this wasn't a mere crush or attraction. No, Fenrys was on his way towards reaching absolute obsession, love, adoration, protection. Oh Gods, he really liked her.

But then, the truth hit him. She was leaving. How cruel could fate be to mate him to someone who wasn't even from his world? To mate him to someone who is destined to leave and forget him? It is these thoughts that made him reject the idea of telling her the truth. Of letting her know that they were mates. Of chaining her to him.

That's why it was best if he put distance between them and Fenrys knew that he had said this a thousand times before but this time, he meant it. He would stay away from her until she left. It was for the best. For both of them. No matter how much this decision pains him, Fenrys knew that he had to take this step.

And now, as he entered the sitting room, he realized that he would have to put his plan into action faster then he thought because in the room, there was Dorian sitting with none other than.....y/n. They were having drinks and laughing about something until he entered which caused his witchlings smile to immediately drop.

Dorian, however, seemed oblivious to it all as he gestured with his hand to the sofa for Fenrys to sit "Fen! How glad am I to see you. It feels as if I last saw you centuries ago because that is how rarely I see your face now."

Fenrys didn't smile. Didn't take his intense gaze away from his little fireball as he said, "Well, I am leaving."

Dorian immediately got up at that, as he said in a serious tone, "Nonsense, Fenrys. Ever since I have arrived here I have spent more time with everyone except you! We must talk and now is better than any other moment."

Fenrys didn't want to do this but he also didn't want to disappoint his friend, whom he rarely saw, even further which is why he sighed but walked towards the sofas, sitting next to the king. Y/n got up to leave but Dorian stopped her too, saying, "Y/n dearest, please do sit. We were having a lovely chat and I believe talking with you both will be even more fun."

Y/n shook her head, not looking at him and that made Fenrys more pissed than ever as she said, "Oh, um- I have something to do, you two must have personal matter to talk about-"

"No, I insist. Please, y/n."

It seems like the young king truly had a way with words because y/n just sighed but also came back to take her place opposite of Fenrys. He tried his hardest not to acknowledge her and from the looks of it, y/n was doing the same. Well, how fantastic.

Dorian cleared his throat before asking, "So, Fen, y/n here, was just telling me of her adventures in Prythian and Gods, did you know of what she did in the Summer court? Tell him, y/n!"

Y/n just kept looking at Dorian, seemingly uncomfortable as she said, "I am.....I think there is no need for him to know of it."

Fenrys felt horrible. He was the reason she was acting like this. He was the reason that she felt uncomfortable and that was the last thing he ever wanted to make her feel. And the fact that she no longer wishes to share her past with him makes Fenrys want to punch a wall.

Dorian still seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room, just shrugged before saying, "Oh, well. Anyways, y/n, what is the first thing you will do when you are back home?"

Now this was an interesting question that also got Fenrys' curiosity to spike up as he waited to hear her answer. After a while, she said, "Well, I did end my relationship with my lover so all that is left to do is say my words to the rest of my so called friends and then leave."

Dorians eyes widened "You broke things off with your lover? What for?"

He felt her cast a quick glance at him before shrugging "Well, it is a long story. Maybe next time I will tell you."

Dorian, however, didn't seem like he wanted to let the matter go because he then asked, "Oh, well, I am sure, whatever it is, you had your reasons. But if it wasn't something that serious maybe you could get back together? Or if not, I am also sure that there would be plenty of males and females who would love to be with you."

Now that just caused Fenrys to clutch his glass cup so hard that it shattered. Both y/n and Dorian turned to look at him with wide eyes as Fenrys said in a tone dripping with possessiveness, "No."

Y/n raised her eyebrow at him, "No?"

He let his dark gaze lock with her annoyed one, saying once more, "No."

The thought of even letting anyone else especially that fucker Azriel come anywhere near her made his blood boil. Fenrys knew how hypocritical he was being. Not telling her that they are mates and yet also refusing to share. But for some reason, that was just the truth. He felt too protective over her.

Y/n scoffed, "And who exactly do you think you are? I can do whatever I want. If I wish to fuck around, then that is what I shall do. If I wish to be in another relationship, then that is what I shall do. If I wish to forgive Azriel, then that is what I shall do."

That was it.

The dam broke.

Fenrys got to his feet rounding the sofa and coming to stand next to her, cupping her jaw, making her look at him as he said in the firmest voice, "Over my dead body will I let any of that happen."

Y/n's anger seemed to rise even further as she pushed out of his grasp and also got up while looking straight at him, "What gives you the right?! How can you make such decisions while you won't even look at me!"

Fenrys was barely holding himself back now. He quickly went towards the door and out the empty hall to put distance between them but it seems like y/n was just as determined to get answers out of him because she quickly followed after him, shouting, "Why, Fenrys? Why are you so cruel?! You do not get to ignore me and then act all possessive! You have no right!"

Fenrys turned abruptly, causing her to barely avoid crashing in to him as he said, "I have every right."

That seemed to only piss her off even further because the next thing Fenrys knew, she was hitting his chest. Yes, her fists did nothing to him, he didn't even feel her futile attempts at hurting him but the fact was, she was hitting him.

She kept on hitting him while her eyes began turning glossy with tears.

"WHY! Give me a reason why!"

"You! You gave up on this!"

"How can you be so cruel?!"

"If you aren't going to stay with me, then do not get in the way of my happiness!"

Fenrys had enough. She was talking too much, nonstop. Not even pausing to breath. She hated him. She was disappointed in him and even though Fenrys had made many others disappointed before, y/n being mad and disappointed at him was the only one that he couldn't handle. He felt like dirt on the ground for making her go through this.

Just walk away Fenrys, keep your mouth shut and frustration reigned in. Leave now before it's too late.

Fenrys did just that. He took both of her wrists in one hand and let go of them, turning his back to her and walking away-

"You are a coward after all, Fenrys. You run away from your truth. You refuse to even own up to your actions! Refuse to even look me in the eye!"

"You wouldn't understand y/n."

"Yes. Yes I would! If you only told me!"

"Y/n-"

"Fenrys tell me! WHY!"

"I have my reason-"

"WHAT REASON! Why? Fenrys, Please!"

"I- we can't y/n-"

"WHY!"

Fenrys suddenly turned around and shouted back at her, frustration and disbelief eviden in his voice "BECAUSE YOU ARE MY MATE!"

That's when he saw it. How she went from a fireball to a frozen statue. How her expression went from anger and annoyance to shock and disbelief.

"W-what-"

She gasped suddenly, staggering backwards and holding her chest, eyes wide. Fenrys knew then that the glorious bond also snapped for her. He immediately moved to help her but y/n put up a hand, halting him in his steps.

After what felt like an eternity of silence and heavy breathing, she looked back at him, her expression molded back into anger but her voice dripped with cool indifference as she said, "So this is what happened to you yesterday. The bond snapped for you first."

"Ye-"

"And yet you kept this from me. You hid this information from me!"

"Y/n-"

"Here I was wondering what happened for you to suddenly change your mind, to suddenly start acting like the brute you were when I first came here. And all this time....all this time you knew we were mates."

"Y/n, please-"

"Do I disgust you, Fenrys? Were you so disappointed when you found out that you decided to keep it hidden? Is that it?"

"No! Y/n-"

"Forget it, Fenrys. I have had enough of your games. I do not wish to see your face for the time being. Don't you dare follow me."

Before he even could say something else, y/n quickly went past him and headed towards the staircase.

Well done, Fenrys. Well fucking done. Idiot.

Mate! He was her fucking mate! How hilarious, how ironic!

She thought she would never find her mate and yet, here he was, right in front of her. For so long, y/n thought that her mate was a specific winged Illyrian. Turns out, it was a specific blond warrior and shifter. She would laugh if she wasn't busy being in shock and denial.

The bond.....the bond snapped for her right after Fenrys told--or rather, shouted--the words. How funny that at some point, while she was begging and praying for this very bond to snap, it wouldn't. And now that she had sworn to never fall in love, the bond suddenly snaps.

Now all that attraction towards him made sense. Now all that need and care for him made sense. Oh, Cauldron boil her, what will she do?! She was just giving Lucien advice on this matter two hours ago and now here she is, suffering from the same revelation, not having anyone to take advice fro-

"Sooo, I believe congratulations are in due for you both?"

Y/n turned around to see Dorian walking towards her in the garden, a large and mischevious smirk plastered all over his face.

She sighed and closed her eyes, "Please tell me you didn't hear anything and it's just a lucky guess."

She felt him sit beside her on the gazebo and then say, "You know I am not a liar, y/n dearest. I heard you two shouting at each other because, mind you, you two werent that far away from the room that we were chatting in. Just be glad the halls were empty."

She turned her head sideways and gave the king a threatening look, "No one knows of this so don't even think of opening your mouth to anyone."

Dorian just gave her a wink before sighing, "Well, I can't promise not to tell Manon. You must understand that we keep no secrets from one another and that she is an exception in everything that I do. But other than her, I promise to keep my lips sealed. You don't have to worry about Manon either, she doesn't go around gossiping."

"But she gossips with you?"

"But she gossips with me."

Y/n rolled her eyes at him before bending forward and putting her arms on her knees, "I don't know what to do, Dorian. I never- I never expected this."

The young king just put his hand on her shoulder as he said, "I know that you may have not expected it but please do not immediately reject it. Fenrys is one of the best males I have met. He would never break your heart y/n-"

"I know that. What I don't know is what am I supposed to do now that we are mates? I am supposed to leave, remember? Besides, my past....my past experiences in this whole love area weren't the best so I don't think this will work. I don't think I will love him-"

"Who says you have to love him right from this moment? You two just found out that you are mates, mates! It takes time to process."

She just sighed and rubbed her temples as she said, "Yes, it will take time."

Dinner was....difficult, to say the least. While everyone kept talking and engaging in conversations, y/n and Fenrys both were on a keen mission to ignore one another. She barely ate anything, her mind barely grasped anything anyone said because she was busy thinking over what happened with Fenrys.

And from the quick glances that she cast his way, y/n could tell that he was also not in the moment due to his stiff posture and small, fake, barely there smile.

The second everyone started to finish up, she quickly said her goodnight's and headed straight for her room, intending to get away from all the tension that is everpresent between them. Once she entered it, y/n leaned against the door and sighed, giving herself a small moment to gather her thoughts and breathe properly.

When she felt like she could move again, y/n went towards her mirror and began unzipping her dress, just wanting to quickly get to bed and sleep the shocking events away-

A knock came from the other side of the door. Oh, yes. Eva had said during dinner that she would give y/n the book she finally finished to read.

"Eva, could you please come in later? I am changing."

No answer came from Eva.

"Eva?"

Still no answer.

Y/n thought that the girl was gone so she went back to changing when the door opened. Y/n raised her head back to look at Eva through the mirror "Eva-"

Her words were stuck in her throat when she saw who entered the room instead. It wasn't Eva......it was Fenrys. His expression was full of concern and regret.

"Y/n, I-"

But then, he stopped mid-sentence when his gaze drifted to her exposed back, his expression turning into one of fury and shock. That's when she realized that her dress had slid over her back, leaving her scars exposed. She quickly tried to pull her dress up, when she heard his harsh voice, "Don't."

For some reason, the command made her pause. He started to slowly take slow steps towards her, his intense gaze never leaving her back. She couldn't turn back around, instead staying frozen in her place, looking at him through the mirror.

He stopped right behind her, his eyes still trained on her back as he whispered, "Who did this to you?"

She couldn't look at him anymore, y/n tilted her head down as she said, "No one, Fenrys."

"Who. Did. This. To. You."

"Fenrys, just leave-"

"Was it Azriel? Is he the one that did this to you?"

She looked back at him to see his eyes trained on her now, expecting an answer.

"No, Fenrys. It wasn't Azriel."

She saw him relax slightly before saying, "Then who did this?"

She scoffed and turned to look back at him, "Why do you care Fenrys? You saw how ugly my body is now so you can be assured that we do not need to be mates. You can reject this whole thing and I will not be mad. It's what I expected anyway-"

"You are so blind."

"Excuse me?! What's that supposed to mean?"

Fenrys came even closer, their chests touching now as he looked down on her, "You are so blind that you do not see the way I look at you, the way I yearn for you. You are so blind that you do not realize my affection for you."

Her eyes widened, processing his words, "Fenrys, you don't have to lie-"

"Am I lying, y/n? Do I look like I am lying? I have grown to like you....very much. Your body is the farthest thing from being ugly. I am growing obsessed with you, don't you see? I have done things with you and for you that I have never done for anyone else. Never."

Then, he gently took ahold of the dress' neckline and pulled it down slowly until it stopped on her hips. Her arms and upper body were now completely exposed to him. Her scars, traumas, wounds, nightmares, all out on display for him to see.

She could only muster to mutter a few words. "Please, don't pity me."

He looked back at her, his eyes holding nothing but adorationa and care within them. And then, he smiled. He smiled a soft, genuine smile that had her heart melting. His knuckles came up to gently caress her cheek as he said, "I do not pity you. I am proud of you. Proud for overcoming whatever challenges that were thrown at you. Proud for coming out alive from whatever nightmares you have faced."

She couldn't help herself then. She couldn't stop the tears that escaped her eyes and soon turned into a waterfall as she fell down on her knees and started to cry. Fenrys also went down with her and gently, as to not scare her, wrapped his arms around her and brought her into his chest, keeping her safe and tucked in the crook of his neck as he whispered "Let it all out, princess. Let it all out. I am here."

She cried for her past. For the girl she once was. For the innocence she had lost. For the childhood she had lost. For the parents she had lost. She cried for it all.

After a while, she calmed down and just pressed her cheek to his chest as he gently caressed her back. "Do you want me to take you to bed? You are tired."

"No...I- I want to stay like this just a little more. Talk with you."

He smiled down at her, pecking her head before resting his chin on her head and whispering back, "Talk all you want, princess. I will be here to listen."

She smiled slightly, "You have that much time?"

She felt his grip tighten on her as he pressed her even more to his body, shielding her from the rest of the world as he said, "For you, I have all the time in the universe."

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