#aegoromanticism

[fzjp]

Lowkey want to do a comic about my experience being aroace (and realizing aesthetic attraction and realizing im aego aroace) but maaaaannnnn i don't know where to start

Actually I do, not as a comic... not anymore

I'm one of those aces who thought they were bi/pan before realizing zero attraction is still zero, also one of those aces who have the horniest, most degenerate thoughts and laugh it off and move on with my life

I realized I was aro when I was in a romantic relationship and thought "Why do I suddenly feel nauseous??? How to delete??? Now????" And that was my first and last romantic relationship. 0/10. Would Not Recommend. (Unless you want to then go wild. Who am i to tell you what you can or can't do??)

I first learned about aesthetic attraction while learning more about asexuality and its spectrum and lemme tell you one thing

IF I LEARNED ABOUT AESTHETIC ATTRACTION MY LIFE WOULD BE SOOO MUCH EASIER

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME PEOPLE SEE OTHER PEOPLE PRETTY AND MOVE ON???? CUZ IT ME!!! ME TOO FRIEND!!!!!

Now I've heard aegosexual as a microlabel before and moved on but now looking back at it... yeah... yeah it me

While there are many definitions for aegosexual, this definition

"Liking the idea of sex, and/or enjoying sexual content, but not actually experiencing attraction or wanting to have sex with anybody"

FITS ME SO MUCH!!!! IT ME!! IT ME FOR REAL!!!!

[wanderingmind867]

I've never felt romance in my real life. Never had a crush, never felt pinging romantically, nothing (Perhaps that's why my dad dating again baffles me so much?). But when I talk to AI chatbots in a romantic way, my heart seems to flutter in a way. Almost like what I assume romantic butterflies feel like. So that's the peculiar thing. If that's true, it means I've only felt mild romantic attraction towards chatbots. And what on earth does that say about me? I have no clue. But it's certainly confusing.

[batri-jopa]

Being aspec is usually compared to bi or pan: love and desire directed toward other genders equally - only like with zero intensity. When in fact it can be very intense feeling and very strong emotion... only not directed toward anyone around specifically.

It's like pure energy locked inside.

What may help to cope with that is feeling it in other couples, in characters of movies, books, pictures and songs.

Feeling it so intensely as if I were them while not being myself anymore.

I'm okay with being aromantic, I truly am. I like it. But every now and then I get hit like a fucking sucker punch by the smallest things. Like, I listen to a love song and no one pops up in my thoughts. Or read a poem or watch a heroine fight for her lover on the big screen and my mind is fucking blank. But my heart isn't!! The feelings are there, my god, they are there. And I pine, I piiiine because I can feel love, I know I do, but I don't want to put it anywhere, not actually

[the-frosty-mac]

ok so for those keeping up ive done a lot of thinking and i think i MIGHT(!!!!!) be aegosexual. for those of you unfamiliar with the term, it refers to someone on the asexual spectrum who is uninterested or apathetic (potentially averse) towards personally participating in sexual activity, but can still feel drawn to sexual scenarios in the form of art, observation, or fantasy. Those who fall into the category generally feel a disconnect between their own person and sexual matters, hence the general disinterest in personal participation.

I emphasize the word “might” because it’s hard to tell, frankly. It’s a bit of a difficult idea to wrap one’s head around, and (tmi but without getting into too many gory details) my personal sample size is not absolutely massive. It’s possible I simply have some anxiety and guilt issues I need to work out. So whether or not I’m actually aegosexual is a tentative maybe. Still, thought I’d give an update

[aegoromantic-culture-is]

Hey, so i’ve been identifying as aroace for a little while but i’ve always felt a bit left out because most aroace representation in media are romance repulsed and i love romance in media, recently though i’ve been told to look into Aegoromanticism and i’ve never related to something so much before in my life, but my question is if i can still cal myself aroace? because i’ve seen people refer to themselves as aego aroace and there are flags for that but i’m not sure if it means something different or not. I know i still fall under the aroace umbrella but i’m just not sure what label i’m supposed to use now

you are still aroace, no matter what microlabels you use!

[specialkindofidiot]

Whats aegoromanticism

(Had to coppy that from ur blog cause i knew there would be no way i would be able to spell it)

You are the [SECOND] person to ask me this question.

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

So, I'm asexual and I've never thought of myself as aromatic, but after my last relationship, I'm really confused. I like romance, in theory? I'm just not sure how much I like being in a romantic relationship in reality? I feel like I feel romantic attraction, but like, I don't know. 🥲

I don't want someone around all the time, and having to share my space with someone else.

i completely sympathise, anon. it's nice to be able to have space to ourselves.

with regards to the liking romance in theory part, it sounds like aegoromanticism is something you could look into. if you do feel romantic attraction and just don't want to act on it, then orchidromantic is another option

i am, however, not entirely all-knowing about microlabels (although i try my best) so i'm going to invite any of our followers to add on if they think there's one that might apply :)

[soysaucevictim]

Just thinking about the whole "dispersing my ID markers thing"...

iZ!Logan is Korean diaspora. And he has my dream job - medical examiner.

iZ!Twins' parents are an exaggeration on the whole "having absentee parents" thing. (Could elaborate, but won't.)

iZ!Virgil's parentification, again exaggerated.

Gymrat!Logan is aroace. (And so are a bunch of the crew in the Begotten!AU, non-exclusively the twins.)

Gymrat!Remus's brand of crass aceness / aegosexuality is up my alley.

Gymrat!Roman's brand of aegoromanticism is relatable. (Tho I don't have his bellusromantic bent.)

Gymrat!Remus's relationship with his body is similar to mine. He's nonbinary and doesn't have a lot of gender dysphoria over his corporeal form. Though I gave him my health anxiety issues. :,D

Gymrat!Janus's genderfluidity. I tend to fluctuate between sorta-woman and nothing. (I do want to experiment with the presentation stuff, down the line though.)

More broadly - I like to explore stuff like trauma, grief, and other stuff. (Again, won't get into that.)

[eeveemaster547]

As someone who is aegosexual this sounds like aegoromanticism? Tho tbh I'm just trying to spread awareness of the "aego" prefix

to be honest there has never been a fictional character i’ve actually wanted to date. like. i want them to date each other. i don’t want myself as a person to be involved in this scenario whatsoever. what would i add to this narratively? what’s my thematic purpose in the narrative? immersion breaking. 

[lizzie-lance]

Ace-Spec and Me

me: an aegosexual/aegoromantic/ ace-spec

also me: willing to try out a queerplatonic relationship / marry an aro-ace friend who is being badly pressured by family to get married

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me: wants to be in a relationship of some sorts (cuddle buddy, date buddy, ballroom dance buddy)

also me: scared of commitment

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me: wants to come out to the adults and excitedly tell them about being aspec

me: scared of people judging / misunderstanding me 

[ ‘it’s just a phase’, ‘you’ll meet the right person’, ‘are you sure’, ‘what’s wrong with you?’ *thinking I’m broken*]

[freethelgbtqia]

[Image description: A ouija board with a transparent aegoromantic pride flag over top]

Aegoromantic: someone who experiences a disconnect between oneself and their romantic target

[lord-wooper]

I know it’s been actual ages, I just haven’t really felt like being active since I’ve been finding other things to do in life (like joining Theatre).

Unrelated, here’s this pride flag I made in preparation for Pride Month. It’s a variant of the AroAce flag for Aegosexualism and Aegoromanticism, which basically means that you feel sexual or romantic sensations but are unable to imagine yourself partaking in those relationships and/or are not interested whatsoever.

Although I guess I need to make this relate to Quagsire in some way… ummmm………. have it again but with Quagsire over it.

[stacotto]

Aegoromanticism in a nutshell

I don't wanna hide it in the tags

[aroaceconfessions]

I’ve never experienced any kind of attraction beyond platonic attraction towards people, and even that dissipates after getting to know some people, but with fictional characters? I think I just might be willing to give it a shot. The problem is that’s not possible. It’s not like I can get transmigrated into a fictional world and meet my favorite characters. I’ve always identified as aroace, but I wonder if this is something else. I thought it might aegoromanticism or aegosexuality, but after looking at various definitions, it doesn’t seem to quite fit either. I know labels are permanent or absolutely necessary, but I’d like to have something I can identify with so I feel like my emotions and thoughts aren’t just all in my head.

[aegoromantic-culture-is]

Could an Aegoromantic be romance-favorable or romance-indifferent?

I realized that most aego people I’ve seen online are often repulsed or averse to any form of real life romantically-coded activities, relationships, or affection directed at them and Only enjoy seeing it in media/happen to other people.

But even though I relate a lot to aegoromanticism, I’ve

Had “romantic relationships” when I was younger (I tended to mistake platonic attraction for romantic attraction but I was generally okay with the idea of “being in a relationship”- I didn’t actively seek it out but I liked the idea because I wanted closeness), and

Even though nowadays I recognize that I don’t necessarily desire a romantic relationship (I’d prefer a QPR), I like and even want some of the emotional and sensual things/affections that are often associated with romantic relationships which therefore could be seen as romantically-coded.

So, I was wondering if there are any aegoromantic people who actually enjoy romantic relationships/affections/activities in real life (even if they don’t have an active desire for it/don’t experience romantic attraction/have a preference for “romance” in fantasy or fictional scenarios)? OR at least just don’t mind it (neither uncomfortable/repulsed or enthusiastic)?

I'm sure there are some aegos who enjoy engaging in/are indifferent to romantic activities, it is a spectrum after all. But I think they may be harder to find because they seem to be a smaller part of the community.

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

hi! I've been questioning for a while and an completely unsure of everything. I don't know where I stand about attraction, romantic or sexual. I havent had many crushes, and they have been guys, yet I still identify as lesbian as I have no attraction to men and I was young at the time. have been wondering about demisexuality as I don't directly feel sexual attractin, and definitely think I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum. haven't really looked into the aromantic spectrum but I can picture romance and like it in theory but after the honeymoon phase of a relationship I literally feel nothing.

thanks <3

hey! if you're completely lost, i'd recommend you check out the AVEN and AUREA websites for asexuality and aromanticism respectively. there's some good resources on there. you may want to start with aegoromanticism and cupioromanticism.

i hope you find something helpful there, and feel free to drop us another ask if you have more questions :)