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balkanradfem · 4 years ago

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The basics of growing food

So, growing food sounds very intimidating, and in reality, it's something people knew how to do thru all history, and it's made even easier by new methods of 'no till' and 'no dig' garden. I didn't know almost anything about it until 3 years ago, when I got a plot in a community garden and started growing food with no experience. Still it went good! Here's what I learned:

The basics are as simple as 'if you put a seed underground and keep it wet, it's going to come out.' If you start off from that, even if you know nothing else, eventually you will succeed. The additional stuff is done to ensure success. The biggest actual issue of gardening isn't how, but when. When are you supposed to put all the seeds underground to get good harvest? For most of the plants, it can be as simple as 'Spring'. For others, it's very important just when in the spring you plant it.

Let's say you want to start your first garden, you want to plant some onions, lettuce, peas, green beans, tomatoes, peppers and zucchini. All of these can be planted in the spring! But these plants are sorted in 2 categories: Those who can survive a frost, and those who cannot. We call these 'frost hardy' (those who survive the frost) and frost-tender (those plants will die if they're exposed to lower than 0 temperatures). From the ones I listed, onions, lettuce and peas are frost hardy! It means you can plant them very early in spring, such as February and March, and they can be hit with snow and ice and be just fine. They can also be planted in autumn, and they only really start growing in the spring.

Green beans, tomatoes, peppers, and zucchini are frost-tender, meaning you absolutely can't grow them before the chance of freezing temperatures is gone. This is known in gardening as 'the last frost date'. Every area has a different last-frost date, so it's good to google yours to be sure you're planting these when it's safe to do so. For me it's mid-April.

Now, since it's a long time to wait for your plants to grow if you've only planted the seeds in mid April, people have found a way around it by planting the seeds in little containers inside of their house, or in a greenhouse, so they grow in a nice warm place on a windowsill, and are moved out in the ground when it's warm and safe. This is a very fun thing to do as you will have bunch of little plants growing in your home. Important thing to know about it is to use really light and airy soil, not garden soil, (you can use forest soil!) and to make sure you're not over-watering them and you give them as much light as possible.

Soil is another big thing in gardening, the grass grows so easily from it, but you can't exactly plant your seeds into the grass; they will get suffocated. For a long time people have tilled the ground to make it empty of all the weeds and easy to handle; however this isn't healthy for the soil, because it ruins the quality of top-soil, exposes it to sun and wind erosion, and it dries up very easily. Here are some beneficial methods of gardening: mulching and no-dig. Mulching means adding stuff like hay, straw, tree leaves, woodchips, pine needles on top of the soil. You're protecting your soil from sun, wind, erosion, drying out, and if your mulch is thick and dark enough, no weeds will grow in your garden. You are gardening by science.

So what does this mean for you, when you're standing before a patch of grass, thinking of turning it into a garden? You need to do this months before the actual planting, using time to your benefit is the smartest thing a gardener can do. You pick a patch of land and bring in everything you can on top: cut grass, hay, tree leaves you raked or found, straw if you have any, woodchips, anything that will stop the grass from growing. If you really want to build up your soil you can bring in compost too! All that organic material will eventually turn into compost and fertilize your garden as it degrades to soil. It's important to not mix it with the soil, and to only keep it on top of the plants. Mixing it will deplete the soil of nitrogen, and you need nitrogen to grow anything green. If you keep bringing in organic material for years of gardening, and on top of that put some compost as well, in 3-5 years your soil will become so rich and soft you will no longer have to use tools to plant in it.

But, hey, if it's your first time, you don't need to aim for perfection. If you didn't prepare your soil in the fall, whatever! You can still pull the weeds, dig around a little to make some clear soil, and plant your stuff! I've done this last-minute planting and it works just fine. Mulching and adding organic material is only the easiest, most scienc-y way to garden.

The next big thing in gardening is spacing and depth: how far apart should your plants be? And how deep to plant them? For depth, the rule of the thumb is 'twice as deep as the seed is tall'. But I've seen people pull various shit in this area and succeed so do what you want. As of spacing, I would also say, try out what fits for you. It takes a year of gardening to get a sense of just how big the plants get, and what would be ideal spacing for each of them. I decided only on my third year to plant tomatoes VERY far apart, because I realized in this case, one plant will give me more than 8kg tomatoes and it's much less work than planting 3 times as many plants that are close together. Peas seem to like to grow close tho, for some reason. Sometimes you can decide you want a bunch of tiny plants because you'll eat them young, so you don't space them on purpose, people do that with lettuce, leeks, spinach. If you want your plants as big as possible with as much yield as possible, give them half a meter and see what happens.

Fertilization is another big thing in gardening; if you add a lot of compost and mulch your garden consistently, you won't need a lot more; however there's a cool free trick you can do (if you're not currently sick): you can mix your urine with 10x water, and water your plants with that. And I really mean mix it with 10x water! Plants can get very fried by it and start to wilt if they're bombed with too much fertilizer at once! There are rules for this: use it when you want your plants to grow a lot of greenery, not if you want them to flower or produce fruit. This fertilizer is rich in nitrogen, and nitrogen inspires plants to grow more leaves! If you wanna fertilize them later in their growth, put a lot of nettle plants in a big container with water, leave it in the sun for 10 days; when it starts to smell real bad, it's ready. (you can also do this with comfrey). Also dilute it with 10x water! Don't use these fertilizers on bean or pea plants, or any legume, they don't like it.

Now I've given you so much info at once, you're probably struggling to take it all in, so here's a good youtube channel where I learned all I know: Roots and Refuge. If you watch this lady garden for long enough, she will tell you all of the secrets.

I remember being a first time gardener overwhelmed with worry; what if I fail, what if nothing grows, what if I kill all the plants, what if I have a black thumb, what if the plants die because I am stupid, what if I put all of this work in and get nothing, what if people make fun of me, what if I run into problems I won't be able to solve. Here are some of the answers to these!

A part of what you grow will DEFINITELY DIE. I can guarantee it, it happens to everyone, every single garden in the world has had plants die, sometimes for no reason at all, but in no case will EVERYTHING die. We all count on a part of our plants dying, becoming slug food, not doing well in general, and we always plant 30% more than we absolutely need. Even if you are personally responsible for killing the plants, the plants will not hold it against you! Plants appreciate you spreading their seed regardless of success, they understand that by trying multiple times you will eventually succeed and they absolutely want you to learn thru occasional failure. The answer is again to plant a lot, and it never ever happened that nothing came out of it. Most often, it's not going to be your fault at all. Sometimes the year will be good for tomatoes and carrots, and bad for peas. It's all okay! Because you just planted extra peas, and you'll get more tomatoes than you expected to have.

If you have the desire to plant food, you do not have a black thumb; the green thumb is in the heart that yearns to grow. You're not stupid if your plants die, plants die for everyone. And people are likely to come at you with million advice; listen to no one, try everything yourself. If they make fun of you, they're gonna look real stupid when you have home-grown food. Any problem you might run into while gardening is google-able! Or you can join a page of gardeners and they'll be happy to identify the issue.

The real main issue with gardening are slugs and bug-type pests, and that is a problem for another day because all I know to do is to yeet those away by hand and shake my finger very sternly at them. Hope this helps!

#growing food #food growing basics #gardening #diy #planting food #plants #home grown food #garden

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babydaddyleorio · 4 years ago

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Skating at ‘S’

context: How your boyfriend would teach/train you for your ‘S’ tournament.

Reki

-Reki would teach you how to skate for S in the same sense that he taught Langa how to. He would demonstrate moves for you and then allow you to take the floor and try It yourself.

-Of course you end up falling and busting your ass quite often, but Reki will still cheer you on and encourage you to keep going from the sidelines.

-Reki will spend all night crafting a skateboard that he thinks would be comfortable for you to ride on. He designs It with things that he knows that you like and really puts his whole heart into making It as special as possible since It’s for you.

-During your training sessions, he would search up skating videos that he believes are really good and will pull you close so you can see them. The both of you stare at the screen with sparkles in your eyes as you see a person perform a cool trick and you would be so inspired that you’d have to give it a go yourself.

-Reki would also take you to an S race so you can see firsthand how the skating world operates. At first you think that It’s insane and you kind of regret getting yourself into this, but when you see Reki fly past you with his face focused and determined, your heart would start racing in excitement and for a split second you think that skating against someone wouldn’t be as bad as you thought.

-Reki can not wait to show you tricks that he’s been practicing over the years. He shows you how to Kickflip and Ollie, and the ginormous smile on his face as he’s teaching you let’s you see that skating is something he really loves.

-Everyday with Reki is something to look forward to and you appreciate how much he’s been preparing you. He waits for you at the park as he looks down at his phone, but the minute he sees you his whole body perks up. He’d give you a high five and the both of you would drop your skateboards, riding to the secret hideout with him reassuring you that you’ll do great in your race.

Langa

-Langa is a good skater, but his teaching could use a bit of work.

-Langa would recognize that he probably isn’t the best person to be assigned the role of a coach, so he would recommend Reki to help you, but you would insist that it’s him that teaches you.

-He’s super flattered that you want him to help you skate and would finally agree with a small smile now on his face.

-However, by the first day of practice you realize that Langa is absolutely terrible at explaining things.

-Langa’s teaching methods tend to intersect with how he would snowboard. He will constantly slip up and use snowboarding lingo or skate as If he’s on top of snow, and he would have to remind himself to teach in a way that you would understand.

-He would try to demonstrate a move for you once he sees that you’re still not getting it, but the board would end up sliding just as he steps on It, and he’d fall flat on his face.

-Yeah, you always have the first-aid on deck whenever you’re around Langa.

-But Langa insists that despite how bad he is at teaching, skating at S is the most exhilarating thing he’s done. He would tell you about how he’s won most of his races, and at first you would be a bit skeptical since he can barely stand on his board without hurting himself.

-It wouldn’t be until you saw him in action at S that you would finally see just how graceful and how much of a fast learner he truly is. You were inspired and you made a goal to be just like Langa when competing in your S race.

-You would then try to mimic his moves during practice one day and Langa would be so surprised to see you actually getting the hang of it. He would start clapping and shouting loudly for you to keep going because you honestly looked amazing.

-Once you finished your performance, you would stop right in front of Langa and the two of you dap each other with large smiles because you knew that you had this race in the bag.

Cherry

-First, what were you thinking? And second, why ask him of all people?

-Cherry would at first decline teaching you because he honestly had better things to do, but he would eventually give in when you hit him with the puppy eyes.

-He has such a soft spot for you and it irritates him so much that you have him wrapped around your finger.

-Cherry would be a very strict and punctual teacher, one who will immediately point out your flaws and give you precise advice on how to fix them. This is S we’re talking about so there is no room for mistakes.

-You guys would be on a schedule, most likely training in the morning and the afternoons.

-Cherry would be somewhere in the shade, sipping from his drink calmly as you’re literally screaming at the top of your lungs as you zoom down the hill on your skateboard.

-Cherry would peak over his sunglasses at your body that was now stuck in a bush, but once he saw your legs slightly twitch, he’d come to the conclusion that you were okay although you clearly weren’t.

-He would get you your own technology based skateboard and you would be blown away at all the cool stuff It can do as you ride It. With this, he also gives you a digital layout of the obstacle courses so you know what to expect when it’s time to compete.

-Cherry would definitely be surprised when he comes out to your usual spot early one morning just to see you already practicing. You would have your balance down, be able to dodge obstacles, and be able to control your speed.

-You looked like a full fledged pro to say the least.

-Cherry would give you a half smirk as he stood and watched you, hiding It behind his fan.

-He was beyond impressed and would be slightly convinced that you could actually have a shot at winning your match.

Joe

-Joe is super chill when he’s teaching you how to skate for S.

-He will help you get on the board and hold on to your body as he slowly guides you, slyly releasing you from his embrace once he’s figured you got the hang of it.

-He would keep quiet when he’s watching you, but once he sees that you’re really struggling, he will eventually tell you what your problem is and offer some advice.

-Definitely the type to close his eyes with his hands behind his head, trying not to laugh as he hears the curses and shouts come from your mouth as you continuously fail.

-It reminds him of the time when he first entered a S match and how hard he worked himself to win.

-However, the minute you say that you want to give up, he would sit down next to you and give you words of encouragement. He’ll probably even show you a video that he sneakily took of you and would rave about how great your skills were improving, even If you couldn’t really see the difference.

-If you still needed motivation, he would lazily get up from his spot and show you how it's done. You would be blown away by how effortlessly he skates, as well as how he’s not afraid to take chances.

-You would also roll your eyes because that man is such a show off. His shirt just had to come off, huh?

-You would eventually get the hang of It and Joe would notice almost instantly. He’s very proud of you and would mutter something under his breath like “I knew you could do It.”

-After you finish skating, he takes you to his restaurant and cooks you a big meal. He’ll be laughing loudly as he tells you how great you’ll do at S tomorrow, plopping some spaghetti in his mouth as he cheeses at you.

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lilacandladybugs · 4 years ago

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Winnie the Pooh Rendition: In Which The Syndicate Throws Technoblade a Birthday Party

It was a bright and snowy as ever June day, one of those days where nearly everyone is still sleeping, and the summer air is a bit thicker than normal, and the snowflakes still bustle through the air. One of those June days where the polar bears lay around lazily and the song of birds from nearby treetops feels even more gentle than normal. It was one of those types of snowy Junes, the most Junest that anyone had seen, when Philza Minecraft realized it was Technoblade’s birthday.

“Oh dear,” Phil said, standing up from where he had been writing Wilbur a letter, “Today is Technoblade’s birthday, and I haven’t got anything planned.” This simply wouldn’t do. Technoblade would need to have a large birthday to commemorate how Clever and Loyal and Generous he was, as everyone in the Syndicate agreed.

“I must go tell Ranboo right away, and we can make some plans together.” And so Philza gathered up his armor and went out into the snowy June morning to Ranboo’s house, which was just across the lawn.

“Ranboo,” Phil began, “I had nearly forgotten that it is Technoblade’s birthday today, and we must throw him a party as soon as possible.”

“His birthday?” Ranboo said, blinking his large enderman eyes, “a birthday.”

“Yes,” said Phil, “and we need to throw him a party.”

“Well birthday parties are things that shouldn’t be forgotten,” said Ranboo, who had forgotten what a Birth Day was, “and we should make sure everything is just right.”

“Yes,” said Phil, “we should.”

Ranboo considered for a moment what a Birth Day might be, and what type of party someone would have for it. Perhaps Birth Days were days where you had something good happen, and you needed congratulating. In that case they might want to write him a book. Or maybe Birth Days where when something solemn happened, and you needed consoling.

“It seems,” Ranboo guessed, “That we should have a celebration.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Ah yes,” Ranboo nodded seriously, “of course, Birth Days are always for celebrating and being happy.”

“Well, yes, obviously. But what should we do to celebrate it?”

Ranboo remembered that Technoblade seemed to enjoy fireworks, and he remembered that sometimes people set off fireworks when they were celebrating an occasion. “What if we set off fireworks?”

“Oh,” said Phil, “yes Technoblade does like fireworks.”

Ranboo felt pleased with himself for guessing something correctly, “Yes he does.”

“But fireworks are not very customary on such occasions,” Phil continued.

“True,” said Ranboo, “not very custardly at all.”

Phil sat down next to Ranboo so that he would be in a better position for planning occasions, and thought about the firework idea, which still remained their only idea. “Well, I suppose we could have fireworks anyway,” he resolved, “given they are Technoblade’s favorite.”

“Yes, I suppose so.” Ranboo said.

“I’ll go tell Nikki, nobody would want to miss a birthday party.” Phil stood up with new resolve to make Technoblade a lot of fancy fireworks for his birthday, “Thank you for helping me come up with ideas. Come around our house at three o’clock, and I will have woken Technoblade up for his birthday.”

“Goodbye,” said Ranboo, feeling as if the exchange had gone exceptionally well for not knowing what a Birth Day was, and feeling very excited to finally find out.

“Goodbye,” said Phil, glad he wasn’t the only one who had nearly forgotten. Nikki was in her bakery, where it was much warmer than outside in the snow, and the smell of something sweet, but not too sweet, hung gently in the air. Phil stepped in and instantly felt much better about everything.

“Hullo Nikki!”

“Hullo Phil,” Nikki said, pulling a cake her out of her oven, “It is Technoblade’s birthday today, and so I thought it would be a good idea to make him a cake.”

“Ah yes,” Phil said. He hadn’t even thought of making Technoblade a cake, even though such things were indeed customary at birthday parties. “Cakes are great for birthday parties. I would have made him one myself, of course, but I am not much of a cake maker, and more of a fireworks maker.”

“Cakes are good for birthday parties,” Nikki agreed. “and I am sure you are great at firework making.”

Phil also realized that Nikki had remembered Technoblade’s birthday before he had remembered it. Nikki didn’t need to know that, she was on a need-to-know basis, if you will. “I, too, have remembered Technoblade’s birthday, as all good and proper friends should, and I have decided that we should wake him up for his birthday at three o’ clock this afternoon.” He smelled the cake and looked very closely, but not too closely, at the purple icing that Nikki had just pulled out of her pantry. “Would you like to come to the party?”

“Of course,” said Nikki, “Have you already told Ranboo? I’m sure he would be devastated to miss out on it.”

“Yes, I did,” said Phil, “And I think we all would be.”

They stood there for a moment, thinking about how much everyone in the Syndicate cared about Technoblade, and how they had all grown incredibly fond of him, and how they would be devastated to miss out on such an Occasion as his birthday.

After they had given it a moment of consideration, Phil helped Nikki finish baking her cakes. Then he helped her carry them up to the cottage, and Nikki helped Phil set up a table outside with chairs, including one for Steve, and generally prepared for the birthday party. Ranboo, having never attended a party before, was practically buzzing with excitement, and talking to each of them very loudly about what he thought it might be like, and how much fun they were going to have.

At last, the party was all set up, and they went to poke Technoblade to get him to wake up from hibernation.

“Surprise!” They all said together when he opened his eyes, “Happy birthday!”

“Oh!” said Technoblade, struggling to stay awake, “Is it my birthday today?”

“Yes,” said Nikki, “You told me that June 1st is your birthday.”

“So it is,” confessed Technoblade.

“How old are you turning?” Nikki asked innocently.

Technoblade paused for a moment trying to remember.

“Ninety-seven,” he responded finally. This was not how old he was.

Fortunately, nobody asked him anymore questions about it and they all went outside to have cake and look at fireworks.

Nikki presented her cake with purple icing and cut everyone a slice.

“This is the best cake I’ve ever had,” Technoblade said, “Where did you get it?”

“I baked them myself,” Nikki said, glowing with happiness, “at my bakery. I’ve been baking again recently.”

“Cake is always better than pie,” Technoblade remarked, and everyone agreed, even Steve. “Except pumpkin pie is alright.”

“I don’t like pumpkin pie,” said Phil, “But I’ve only had it once, so maybe it isn’t that bad.”

“I could make some for you sometime.” Nikki offered, and they all agreed that if Nikki made it then it would probably be the best, and being the best, would be enjoyable even for someone like Phil.

When they had all eaten enough, Philza Minecraft stood up, and everybody stopped talking and were very silent, except Ranboo who had eaten a bite that was a little too large and was having a fit of hiccups.

“This party,” said Philza, “is a party because of our appreciation for someone who we all appreciate very much, and we are celebrating him turning…” Phil couldn’t remember how old Technoblade was either, “one year older.” He felt around underneath the table for his fireworks, “And I have got a present for him.”

Technoblade was very happy and smiling but he tried his best not to look too eager. When he saw what it was though he could not stop himself from smiling so much he was practically glowing.

Phil held up the present, seeing that Techno was happy and knowing that Ranboo’s advice had been very good advice, “They’re fireworks! I have spent all morning working on them, and I think they will be perfect.”

“I bet they will be,” Techno said, and he meant it, knowing that Philza Minecraft’s crafting knowledge far exceeded his own.

Now all of them were very happy, because Technoblade was happy, and Phil loaded some brightly packaged fireworks, lit them, and set them off in a vibrant display of colors against the white snowy backdrop. They made various shapes in the sky and came in different layers, some of them changed from one color to another.

Everyone ooh-ed and ahh-ed.

But Technoblade was confused. The fireworks did Not look special to him, they looked Dull and Patternless. This was very confusing and surprising as they were made by Phil Himself. But everyone else was ooh-ing and ahh-ing, and it seemed like the right thing to do, so he did it politely along with them.

After Phil had already set off three of his special fireworks, Nikki noticed that Techno looked confused and said, “Technoblade, can you see the fireworks?”

“Well, I can see the colors a little,” he admitted sheepishly, not wanting to upset Phil, who he was sure had worked very hard on them.

“That doesn’t sound right,” said Phil, “you should be seeing the colors a lot not just a little.”

“You’ve forgotten your glasses,” Nikki pointed out.

“Oh,” said Techno, now feeling very silly.

Ranboo saw an opportunity to be helpful even without knowing what a Birth Day party was. “I’ll go get them for you.” He ran into the house and back very quickly and handed Technoblade his glasses.

“Thank you Ranboo,” Technoblade said. Everything looked sharper now, he could see the snowflakes and Ranboo’s large enderman eyes much more clearly.

“Let’s try again,” Phil said, and he set off a few more of his fireworks and they all ooh-ed and ahhh-ed, and Technoblade did not have to fake it as he could actually see them this time, and they were beautiful, and everything that one would expect from Philza himself.

Since this was everything they had planned to do, everyone talked for a little while longer, just enjoying each other’s company and laughing. Then they drifted off, after saying their goodbyes, and congratulated Technoblade on his new age, whatever that might be.

But Phil and Techno stayed outside in the snow together for a long time and silently watched the sun set in the distance.

“When you finally wake up after hibernating, Techno,” Phil said at last, “what is the first thing you like to do?”

“I like find out how Steve and you and Ranboo are doing,” Technoblade said. “What do you do, Phil?”

“When I first wake up, I always wonder to myself what exciting thing will happen today.”

Technoblade nodded thoughtfully.

“Yes,” he said, “It’s the same thing.”

#technoblade #philza #nikki #nihachu #the syndicate #dream smp #winnie the pooh au #ranboo #i made another one bc my internet was out all day today #follow @mcytwinniethepoohquotes for more! there are five now :)

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power-of-plot · 4 years ago

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Iida, Mirio, and Aizawa dating hcs please

Of course! But holy cow apparently this seriously inspired me, i hope this is ok xd

I I D A

Oh yes robot boi. Iida is someone nerdy in every aspect, his language even with close friends like Midoriya is very formal and polite, the same rule would apply when it comes to his significant other. Unlike what some would think, this doesn’t give your conversations a cold touch, on the contrary, it’d make him look chivalrous.

He’s a classic gentleman, he’d be the kind who opens the door and waits for you to walk in first or gives you his jacket when it’s too cold and you don’t have anything to cover yourself with, the second one would happen often in the classroom if you’re sensitive to cold. We are talking about U.A have you seen the measures of the classrooms and the entire area? It’s impossible they don’t have those huge air conditioners.

He highly respects the rules wich means, no PDA, on a certain level, no kisses to be specific. That doesn’t mean he won’t give you any affection, though every gear of his robotic soul is having a bad time working properly inside, he’d hold your hand or put his over your shoulder pulling you close when you’re sitting together.

He definitely would do that thing of caressing you with his thumb. As you expected it from Tenya, this is a sort of robotic motion, his finger would move like a metronome but that doesn’t make it any less nicer, he is slow and gentle.

Honestly, he’d be nervous most of the time. ALSO! Tenya is very thoughtful, he’d ask (often verbally) if you’re okay with whatever he’d do, as times goes by the questions turn non verbal, for example he’d hold his hand above yours waiting for you to give green light or grasp it.

“..Can i hold your hand?” “Sure!” “*DEEP INHALE AND BLUSH*” He couldn’t help to blush the first times. Specially on the firsT kiss but how would it be? A clasic scenenario after classes! And after you both have grown comfortable enough to each other’s touch. Seriously, if you like to go slow he's got you.

You two would be walking around in the campus after classes and he feels the tension grow.. he is analyzing every detail, he wants to ask but what if things get extremely awkward, he’s very tall- he’d have to bend down slightly (unless you’re nearly as tall as him) to do it so what if you flinch because it was unexpected.. he stops walking, he simply manages to say your name. You stared into each other's eye and then it happened, a big smile unexplainably forms in his lips complemented by a scarlet color across his whole face, his haircut made his head look like a strawberry.

There are going to be days you don't see him as much as you'd like, Tenya is very comitted to his hero patrols, he certainly would do extra hours from time to time or if the situation called for it. Let him know you like his hero suit! He’s thankful it has a helmet otherwise his flustered face would be exposed.

Whatever position you cuddle in Iida would wrap his arms around you, not only that, he’d interlock his fingers so he has a nice grip. His cuddles would be the classic spooning or having your head on his shoulder with your arm over his chest and in case you worry about his arm, this guy doesn’t know limb numbness- he literally tenses and holds his arms up every five minutes.

He sends good morning/good night texts often on the weekends since you're practically living together thanks to the dormitory system, they vary depending on the day, some are a reminder to get a proper amount of sleep or! To get done with homework so you can enjoy your free time and maybe ask if he can go over to study *cough spend time together*

He'd send the classic heart emoji, very detailed but easy to comprehend videos explaining any difficult lesson and history related stuff like paint restorations or facts about iconic sculptures. Please don’t send him those videos of people accidentally breaking things on museums, he’s gonna feel like something breaks inside.

M I R I O

This ray of sunshine fell for you? Your luck is so big you’d get jackpot on a slot machine on the first try-. You’re undeniably going to be good friends with Tamaki and Nejire, specially her, expect to get questions one after another without the chance to reply when she finds out you’re Mirio’s significant other, Tamaki would take it way better.

Mirio’s goofyness and confidence combined with his feelings give a unique result: he literally spoke to the boss of mafia himself twice like he was the manager in a store, but, the case is different when you’re around, he’s saying and actually good joke and suddenly.. it goes away, his mind goes blank. “So what happened after Mirio..?” “Ah.. i had practiced a lot, i don’t know what happened haha my bad!”

You’re going to get tons of his jokes and something more “intense” such as the classic “What’s in your shirt?” to make you look down so he can boop your nose with his finger, you should expect some gentle headpats as well.

If you’re shy he’s cool about it, he knows what do and adaptates to your pace, you’d start off with hand holding or rather pinky holding, he’d interwine his pinky with yours and show a bright smile. His hugs are the warmest, he doesn’t do it half-assesly, when you hug, YOU HUG, he uses both arms and slightly lifts you up! Height or strength are not a problem he’s actually one cm taller than Iida i just found out

He seems like the kind who loses their pen or eraser despite seeing it on their desk just one minute ago, if you happen to be that kind as well you’re both going to lay down your faith on poor Tamaki’s hands, i’m sure he has all his material complete.

He hardly ever gets nervous or scared by anything, things like the first kiss would go pretty smooth, instead of blushing intensely he’d just chuckle with slight disbelief, his mind is racing like “I just did that? woah!”. The biggest trouble for him would be gifts, he wants it to be perfect but asking Nejire for advice is not a good idea, roses are too formal and they don’t last long, going to the movies seems a little cliche.. his first gift would end up being a plushie of your favorite animal and a bamboo.

He’d sneak a kiss or two, specially before the class is begginning a training session, he’d send you a text telling you to go outside the changing rooms and oop! He phases through the wall poking out his head to give you a kiss kiss. If you don’t mind a prank from time to time he’d give a little scare using his quirk.

This guy is the big spoon during cuddles, no arguing! He could switch but as time goes by he’d slowly shift into the big spoon, that’s just the way he is, the most usual position would be where you’re facing each other with your limbs wrapping around the other’s body. Waking up with him would be adorable and attractive, morning and night are the only times of the day when his hair isn’t gelled into his All Might-like hairstyle, those blonde locks would frame his face, a heavenly sight.

Would send you a pic of stray animals he rescued with a “:D!” and Sir. Nighteye 'torturing' Bubble girl (half of his head visibly on a corner of the image). If you longed for a pet badly he would bring a nice dog/cat he finds around! In his hero suit to make the moment more special.

He uses the smiling emojis and emoticons! And shares videos of animals he finds adorable, if you sent him fails videos he'd laugh as long as the falls don't seem extreme or too severe, small trips on the beach or slips on the snow are fine. Mirio sends gifs i just know.

A I Z A W A

Have you taken a look at him? You must be a big The Walking Dead fan to like him lmao. Aizawa gives me an unexplainable gut feeling that he'd prefer a civilian (perhaps quirkless?) significant other over a hero, he wouldn't want his partner to go into the same dangerous situations he does.

His affection is tired, let me explain, he'd hug you and all that physical stuff but it'd kinda feel like his arms fall limply around you, still, even with his minuscule clingyness he loves you with all his might! He doesn't fall for anyone.

Not very fond of PDA, in public he'd preferr temple/forehead kisses and having your hand on the crook of his arm instead of hand holding (thinking about it Iida would do that too), seems more discret and! you don't let go when his hands are busy. He'd initiates it by gently resting your hand on his arm and sinking his hand into his pocket.

Surprise! He does smile, not that maniactic-looking grin he has sometimes during his shifts at U.A when a student impresses him, this one is less wide but somehow more tender and sweet, he tilts his head and for once his eyes seem relaxed, a relationship would make his cheeks hurt.. either for he's not used to smile so much or he smiles more than he thought he would.

If you give him a cat.. that's a strong blow straight to one of his weakest spots, he'd stare both at you and the kitten with a dumbfounded look before picking it up in his arm like a baby, his hand gravitates towards his it's head giving some nice pets before he shows a rare and somewhat bright smile "Thank you very much." Next time have a camera ready damnit! That smile rarely shows up.

He's practical, he wants his gifts to be nice but useful as well. He’d get you those mugs with candies inside, you get the candy and you can use the mug later for your coffee or tea; a power bank with a nice color or design and in case he choses something smaller: a bamboo, those one don’t wither away. Aizawa is fine with whatever you get for him, big or small he appreciates it. Sweaters, scarfs and blankets would be his favorite thing to get though, he likes to stay warm while working late at night

He’s sneaky, as an underground hero he’s used to work at times when the streets look disolated and the dark crime has more freedom to do as it pleases, he wouldn’t want to wake you up unless you asked him to. He’d leave a note on is pillow with the time he wrote it at and a short loving phrase like “i love you, i’ll be back soon, good morning”, before he leaves he’d always lift the sheet up to your neck or drag it away if you seem to be kicking it off you and give you a small kiss.

You’d find him passed out in his sleeping bag with his laptop besides him at random spots of his appartment, if it wasn’t because of the unatura position he adopts to fit in his sleeping bag he’d give you a death scare ‘cause let’s be honest he doesn’t look one hundred percent alive even when he’s awake. “Shota..? Shota can you hear me?!” “I’m not dead.”

Hibrid of big-small spoon. Most of the times you cuddle he’s asleep and you go snuggle him, his hair is a mess so better prepare to get tickled all night. He pull you close the best way he can when you’re behind him, not very comfortable for his arm but it’s worth it. He’d have you like a pillow over him, his chin over your head and both arms around you.

This man doesn’t bother typing when he can use his voice, the only situations he uses regular text messages are when he’s on shift or with you sleeping next to him. Send him gifs of kittens and a ‘i love you’ it instanstly gives him a good mood! He’d send pics of cats he sees around and gifts he bought you, doesn’t use emojis.

*COLLAPSES ON THE GROUND* Big oof- requests are open.

#mha headcanons #aizawa x reader #iida x reader #mirio x reader #fluff headcanons #requests open #mha fluff #fluff requests #my hero imagines #my hero academia #my brain is dying

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honeypirate · 4 years ago

Text

Confession

Tobio Kageyama and fem reader

Reader lives on the same street as him and is the vb manager. They have similar routes they run and are pretty decent friends already.

Running at midnight in the winter wasn’t your best plan but you needed to get out of your head. Needed to shock your system so you could start to think straight.

The toes of your shoe slipped along the frozen ground every other step, the snow turned into a sheet of ice from people walking on it all day and fresh snow started to stick to the top.

The lights from the street lamps illuminated the puffs of air that came from your mouth as you pumped your arms, making sure to keep your balance. you halfway wished you had ice skates because then you could at least feel like you had a little stability.

You move from the sidewalk to empty street, thankful that they had less ice than the sidewalk as your legs pump you harder now that you can actually run with traction.

Your air pods cancel out all other sounds as it plays the running playlist Kageyama has shared with you, some song you didn’t know very well yet consuming the background of your thoughts as you tried to clear your mind.

Your legs began to ache as they became more numb, your hands beginning to sting but you don’t put them in your pocket just in case you have to catch yourself if you fell.

“Hey! Y/N! ” Kageyama tried to get your attention for the umpteenth time tonight. He didn’t see a lot of people running after midnight and if you were going to run in the middle of the road he wanted you to take one of his reflectors.

You see a car coming so you make your way back to the sidewalk, bracing yourself to lose some traction again as you get back to ice patches on the concrete.

“Hey!” You hear him finally as his hand grabs your arm. You gasp and flail, pushing him away but then grabbing him by his chest quickly when you begin to slip uncontrollably on the ice.

“Wait! wait! wait!” He’s saying as he grabs you tight and slips with you, your feet sliding all over the place until you get your feet to stop, you both barely staying standing in deep lunges as you basically hug chest to chest, holding on to each other tight.

“Now move with me” he says and looks into your eyes. You nod, one of your AirPods had fell out so you heard him perfectly.

He moves his feet and brings them together slowly, you following his suit, until you were standing facing each other and still holding on to each other as you chuckled softly.

You look up into his eyes, lit by the street lamp behind you and sparkling as his pants puff out of his lips in little clouds of condensation.

“Hello Kageyama-kun” you say with a smile, catching your breath. “Hello f/n” he says with the tiniest of smiles “I was trying to get your attention but you couldn’t hear me. I didn’t mean to almost kill us both” you chuckle “don’t worry about it. No harm done.”

Your eyes catch a ball of white stuck in the darkness on the side of his coat hood “don’t move” you say softly and let go of the hold you had on his chest, reaching up as you grab the ear bud, your freezing fingers brushing his neck making him shiver as you put it in the case in your pocket along with the one in your ear.

“You’re freezing” he says with a small scowl, his hold on you tightening a little, like he was trying to bring you closer to warm you up.

you laugh “just a little. But that was whole goal”

he looks at you incredulously “that was your goal?” You sigh and scratch behind your ear, not stepping away from his warmth “it’s a long story”

He lets you go to pull off his mittens, showing that he had another pair of gloves in underneath and you laugh when he hands you the mittens. “You’re always so prepared. I like that about you” you say as you smile at him, pulling on his mittens over your frozen fingers.

“Do you wanna come over for hot chocolate?” He asks and you think for a moment before nodding “I’d love to”

“Skip the third step, it squeaks” he whispers to you as you slip your shoes off by the door. Just inside there was a landing that led upstairs and downstairs. You took off his mittens and hand them to him, smiling in the dark as he holds your hand for just a second before moving to place them on the side table next to the door.

You reach out and gently take his hand, your heart racing when he doesn’t let go, butterflies fluttering into your stomach. you follow him as he walked up the stairs, skipping the third step, and quietly walking down the hallway to the kitchen.

He squeezes your hand as he guides you to the table “sit, I’ll make cocoa” he says and pulls out the chair for you.

He flicks on the light above the stove and places a pan of milk on to heat up. Your heart hasn’t stopped racing since you almost fell and you felt a sweet calm start to wash over you as you watch him move around almost silently. You pull your phone out of your pocket to check the time, almost one now, sending a text to your best friend that was just a keyboard smash.

You look up and watch as Kageyama adds the cocoa to the simmering milk and smile, raising your phone to snap a quick photo of him. He looked weirdly ethereal in the low light and dark kitchen, his face looked calm and a little tired, which is different than his usual volleyball glare.

“Here you go” he says softly, placing two mugs on the table and you shove your phone in your pocket. “Thank you” you say with a smile and he bows his head as he sits beside you.

You take a sip and hum softly, the warmth filling you from the inside out. Your legs felt like they were gaining feeling again and you rubbed your hands against them.

“Will you talk to me?” He asks softly and your breath hitches as you look up at him. You know what he means. He wants you to share why you were running in the cold, what your reason was.

You sigh and run your hands through your hair, pulling out your ponytail and shaking it out. You nod and take another sip of your drink before starting to talk

“I... have this thing that I need to tell someone. But you know how I am sometimes; I overthink. Sometimes I can’t get out of my head. I wanted to get freezing cold to shock my system so I could clear my head from overthinking so hard about if I should or shouldn’t say something to this person” you sigh and he thinks for a moment

“I understand. You can tell me what it is, maybe I could help” he takes a sip of his cocoa but keeps his eyes on you. You felt your cheeks warm from how adorable you thought it was.

“Well you see.. I” you chuckle and look up into his eyes “.. I care about them” you say and feel your face heating up and you look down at your fingers tapping the cup softly “a lot actually. I think he’s adorable, he’s secretly funny although I’m convinced I’m the I my one who notices. He’s the smartest guy I know and the only flaw I can find is his odd obsession with milk but that’s not even really a flaw”

He hums softly “do you uh..think he cares for you back?” He wonders what the odds of another person loving milk as much as him. How weird it was you knew two guys who love milk. Then his mind starts to spiral when he realized that you don’t like him, this this means you like someone else. He’s missed his chance. He feels bile rise in his throat and he scowls down at his hot cocoa as he tries to force the jealousy out of his heart.

You shrug “I think so. He’s always talking to me, he shares buys me milk almost every lunch, he lets me complain and gives me advice. He compliments me in subtle ways telling me he appreciates my help and...” you take a sip of your hot cocoa and blush deeper “and he even invites me in for cocoa after a late night run”

You look into his eyes with a hopeful smile and wait, knowing it could take him a moment to work it out.

You watch as it clicks in his mind, the recognition in his eyes before his cheeks flush and the corners of his mouth turn up into a small smile

“me?” He asks softly and you nod

You like him. You like him! Not some other boy. Him. His the milk obsessed guy you care about.

You chuckle “What can I say?” You do a fake British accent “You have bewitched me body and soul”

He groans and rolls his eyes “Oh come on you catch me watching pride and prejudice one time and I’ll never live it down” he exclaims and huffs, folding his arms over his chest

“Tobio” you say after you stop laughing “it’s true though. I really like you. You and your milk addiction and your Jane Austen obsession ” you flash him a dopey grin as you reach out and brush his hair out of his eyes.

“Running into you was just a coincidence. I took it as a sign. I went out running at midnight thinking about you and then you almost kill me. I thought better tonight than never at all”

He has been smiling this whole time, a soft genuine smile that was rare from him

“I thought you were asking my advice about someone else. For a second I believed there was someone out there who loved milk as much as I do”

You laugh and he takes your hand from his hair, lacing your fingers together. “No one likes milk as much as you” you say with a smirk

“I’m really glad I found you tonight” he says, smiling down at his cocoa mug. He clears his throat and looks up to you with eyes that seemed to sparkle in the dimly lit kitchen “I .. I feel the same about you” he says softly “I think you’re amazing” he says and you feel your cheeks warm. “Would you like to go out with me this weekend?” He asks and you nod “I would love to” he squeezes your hand and smiles brighter than you have ever seen. It kind of makes you speechless with how adorable he is when he smiles. Completely blown away with the difference between this smile and his usual volleyball court king glares.

The squeaking of the third step makes you jump and both pull your hands away and gasp. Staring into his eyes as you wait to see if anyone was coming. After a moment, when no one comes into the kitchen, you both laugh and reach out for each other again, lacing your fingers together.

After you finish your hot cocoa, you talk for a few more minutes before the clock chimes two and you have to go home. you slip on your shoes beside Tobio and he hands you one of his hoodies and gloves so you don’t freeze while he walks you home. his cheeks were warm and he had a false glare on his face but you can read in his eyes the moment your face pops through the neck hole, he’s blushing and his eyes sparkle as he looks at you, he can’t hide how he feels about you.

At your door step you wrap your arms around him and lay your head on his shoulder pressing your cold nose to his warm neck making him hiss softly as he hugs you tight.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning at practice” you say as you look up at him with a smile “do you want to walk together? I know we’ve never done it before but..” you nod with a soft smile “I’d love to”

he smiles softly and cups your cheek, brushing your hair being your ear before resting his hand against your face.

You’re staring into his eyes and then it clicks. His soft expression, smile playing on his lips as he brushes your cheek with his thumb, the way his eyes keep looking down to your lips

He’s gonna kiss you

“Tobio” you whisper softly and that’s all he needed to lean down and press his lips to yours.

Bonus -

(After the squeak in the step this is what happened)

“Oh my goooddd you won’t be able to guess what I just heard in the kitchen” Kageyama’s father says as he sneaks back into his bedroom, closing the door slowly so it won’t make any noise “what?” Kageyama’s mother asks from her place on the bed half asleep “Tobio” he says with a smile as he climbs back into bed “our boy Tobio, confessing his feelings to a girl over hot chocolate” “no” she says and he nods excitedly “yes!”

#tobio x reader #tobio x y/n #kegayama tobio #hq tobio #tobio imagine #tobio x you #Kageyama x you #Kageyama x y/n #Kageyama x reader #Tobio Kageyama x you #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu tobio

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melzula · 4 years ago

Text

The Throne

part three

pairing: Zuko x Princess!reader

summary: Koa greatly underestimates the Princess, but he’s not giving up just yet...

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

The air of dawn is frigid and cold, yet the subtle trembling of your body is not from the chilly climate. The sun has yet to rise and your people are still asleep, the mutiny is just a few hours away, and you find that after hours of tossing and turning it’s better to begin your preparation for the battle ahead than worry yourself to death any longer. Your regular dress has been exchanged for an outfit much more suitable for fighting, your crown replaced by a water tribe emblem pin secured neatly in your hair, and though you normally choose to wear gloves to keep your scars hidden you opt out of using them today. Your wounds are a reminder of your resilience and your strength, and those two attributes are things you’ll desperately need today if you hope to defeat Koa once and for all.

“Princess,” Sokka’s voice whispers from outside your door accompanied by a gentle knock, “my dad and his warriors are here. I kept them out of sight like you asked.”

“I’ll be right out,” comes your quiet reply, and without a moment to waste you follow the boy out of the palace and into the courtyard towards the one blind spot from the watch tower where two of Koa’s guards wait on duty. Just as Sokka said, Hakoda and his men stand waiting and at the ready for the chaos that is to ensue when Koa attempts to over throw you and your mother. The small village Chief bows respectfully in your presence but you wave off the action with a smile.

“There’s no need for formality,” you assure him. “I can’t begin to thank you enough for agreeing to help me.”

“There’s no end in sight to the struggles our village faces with Koa in charge. You have your father’s spirit, Princess, and I know for a fact that there is no one more capable than you to rule our tribe. We will do everything in our power to put an end to his reign one and for all,” Hakoda vows earnestly. “Just say the word and we’ll be there.”

“Thank you,” you utter softly, eyes watering at the mention of your father— would it be terrible of you to admit that you struggle placing his face in your head? You could really use some of Iroh’s famous advice right now...

“You should get back inside,” Sokka says, “if anyone spots you out here this early in the morning they might get suspicious.”

“You’re probably right,” you nod, and without another word the water tribe boy escorts you back into the palace and into your room.

“You have everything you need?” Sokka asks, peering around the room before resting his gaze upon the small pile of unopened letters on your dresser. The red of the Fire Nation insignia is a stark contrast to the soft hues of blue that line your bedroom.

“I have all the evidence together, Kai agreed to speak out against his father, and Hakoda can tell everyone about the neglect the smaller tribes have been facing thanks to Hakoda. Katara is in charge of keeping my mother safe and I’m ready to fight if I have to. Everything is ready.”

“You know, it’s still not too late to make a last minute call to Zuko,” Sokka notes casually only for you to give him a pointed look.

“Sokka...

“I’m just saying, if I were your boyfriend I’d want to know about the fact that there’s someone out there threatening the girl I love.”

“Why bring him into it now when it’s almost over? No calling Zuko,” you reiterate firmly. “And afterward if he wants to be mad at me for keeping it a secret from him then he can; I’ll be able to sleep soundly at night knowing I did it for his own good.”

“I doubt Zuko’s sleeping soundly,” Sokka mutters to himself, his eyes never leaving the stack of scrolls.

For a water bender, you’re very stubborn.

~~~

The steady beat of the soldier’s drums draws the people of your village towards the palace grounds and brings their attention to Koa who stands before the palace door. Mother’s hold their children to their chests and the merchants quickly begin to pack up their goods at the sight of the army of guards that stand before the man. He is confident and sure, heart pounding with anticipation and giddiness as he prepares to take his “rightful” place on the throne. Your father is gone, your mother is weak, and he’s turned your own guards against you; there’s no way for you to save yourself now.

“Princess!” Koa bellows. “Show yourself!”

Everyone watches with baited breath as you emerge from the palace with Sokka right behind you, face stoic and head held high with dignity and grace as you confront your opposers. His eyes glance briefly at your scars before returning back to you, his grin never falters, and neither of you break from each other’s gaze.

“What is the meaning of this?” You ask with feigned obliviousness.

“On behalf of the Southern Water Tribe, I am relieving you and your mother of your duty. No longer will you be leader of a tribe you do not deserve and no longer will you continue to fail your people,” Koa announces for all to hear.

“Do you really speak for everyone?” You retort with a raised brow, and Koa falters slightly at your surprisingly calm demeanor. He expected more of a reaction from someone who was mere seconds away from losing their throne. “Chief Hakoda, please step forward.”

Koa’s eyes widen at the sight of the man who appears from the shadows and joins you on the steps, small gasps and uneasy glances exchanged between those part of the royal tribe as well as Koa’s own guards.

“My name is Hakoda, and I am from one of the smaller outer villages. For years our village has suffered from dwindling numbers and resources as a result of the war. Koa promised us aid, he promised us food and assistance in rebuilding our village, yet we have not received one single thing he has promised us. We were cut off from the rest of the southern water tribe as were the rest of the outer villages the moment he took on the title of chieftain. Everything he has promised you is a lie. Koa is not fit to rule our tribe.”

Quiet murmurs and hushed whispers sound throughout the crowd, and you hold back a smug smile at the anger that flashes across Koa’s face. He wasn’t the only one willing to fight dirty, and he was a fool for believing you’d give up the throne that easily. One thing was certain: Koa had no idea just who he was dealing with.

“Please, I’ve done everything I can to help your people. It’s not my fault you don’t know how to properly use your resources,” Koa spits, but he can sense the tension arising from his men, some who come from the same village as Hakoda.

“I knew of your plan to stage this mutiny against me, and I know of your plan to invade the north,” you retaliate with a stern glare. The faces of his soldiers as well as Koa’s own face pales at your words, and gasps sound throughout the crowd.

“You can’t prove that!”

“I can,” Sokka says firmly. “I went to that secret meeting and heard all about your plans to invade our sister tribe. You don’t care about anything unless it has to do with power.”

“Are you really going to believe these children over me? The man who served as advisor all these years and took care of your needs?!”

“You said every man was expendable.”

“You have no proof!”

“Actually, she does,” a voice pipes up from the crowd, and Koa watches on in horror as his own son joins your side and hands over his journal. “My father keeps all his thoughts and plans in this book, and you can find everything you need to know about him in those pages.”

“Kai?! What are you doing?!” Koa demands only for his son to look away guiltily.

“What you’re doing isn’t right dad, it has to stop.”

“You little water rat,” Koa seethes, “you’ve turned my own son against me! Attack her!”

At the sound of those words Sokka, Hakoda, and his warriors create a wall around you, weapons at the ready to defend you. However, with a small shake of your head their defenses are lowered.

“You don’t want to fight each other. We’re brothers and sisters, this isn’t the way. There can be no era of rebuilding if there is no peace. Koa promised you great things, but he doesn’t care about you the way a leader should. I know you don’t think I’m ready to lead, but I promise you I will do everything in my power to rebuild the Southern Water Tribe and bring it back to its rightful glory. All you have to do is trust me.”

The air is thick with tense silence as your people exchange quiet glances with one another, both you and Koa watching on with baited breath, but then one of the men slowly removes his helmet before tossing it to the ground and lowering onto one knee. His eyes meet your own in quiet remorse and you smile faintly in appreciation, eyes beginning to water at the meaningful gesture. To Koa’s dismay many of the other men follow suit until only a handful of his followers remain.

“No... no! You fools! Get up! Don’t let her trick you!”

“Your reign is over Koa,” you announce for all to hear. “You will be removed from the palace and tried for your acts of treason against the water tribes. It’s over.”

“Not yet,” Koa vows, eyes narrowing at your figure with rage and hatred. You have too much of your father’s spirit in you, something that he loathes more than anything.

A sudden blast of snow is shot in all directions, blocking your view and prompting Sokka to quickly pull you close and shield you with his body. Disoriented and startled, no one is able to detect Koa��s quick exit, and when the smoke clears the man is gone.

“Should we go after him?” One of Hakoda’s men asks, but you simply shake your head.

“He has nowhere to run,” you say, your gaze far off and distant as you look towards the horizon. “He’ll be back...”

~~~

Things are slowly but surely starting to get back on track and you can’t complain. After Koa’s disappearance you were left with his remaining men, and despite the fact that they’d been so willing to betray you you were able to forgive them with ease. They were desperate, lost, and looked to someone they thought they could trust to help them; how could you fault them for wanting better? You felt it would be too cruel to throw them in jail or punish them, so instead you came up with the agreement that they would help rebuild and deliver supplies to the outer villages in desperate need of care. Your mother was back on the throne and in change, and you both had agreed that Hakoda would serve as your new advisor. Yes, everything was shaping up nicely for your tribe and you couldn’t be happier.

You’re late for dinner, this much you know, but you’re too engrossed in the new plans Hakoda has sent you in regards to new structures for the outer tribes that will strengthen their defenses to get up now. Katara and Sokka are probably waiting for you, enjoying their time home before they must return and resume their work on the Restoration Movement, but you doubt they’ll mind if you’re a little late— well, Sokka won’t mind as long as he can still eat in your absence.

With your back to the door, you hear a gentle knock and call out a quiet “come in,” as you assume it must be Katara or Sokka calling you to dinner, but the harsh slam of the door immediately has you on your feet. A shadowy figure stands before you, and you waste no time pulling the water from the air and shooting sharp blasts of ice towards the intruder with your fists. They are fast, agilely dogging your attacks and barrel rolling out of the way before tossing sharp darts in your direction. The wall of ice you form manages to block most of them, but one needle strays and nicks your arm. You cry out in pain, and when you attempt to raise your arms to bend you find that you can’t move at all. It’s as if your body slowly begins to shut down before finally your knees give out and you collapse to the floor.

“N-No,” you gasp out, trying to move but to no avail.

“Shishu spit darts. Hard to come by in the water tribe, but I have my ways,” the sinister voices says, and your heart immediately drops to your stomach at the familiar tone.

“Koa...”

“Did you miss me, Princess?” He smirks, slowly removing his hood before towering over you. “I told you it wasn’t over yet. I’d never let myself lose to the likes of you.”

“Why are you doing this?” You whisper in a trembling voice, adrenaline and fear coursing through your veins at the sight of the sharp dagger in his hand.

“When your father died in battle it removed a great weight from my shoulders. I wouldn’t have to worry about him any longer, and I knew your mother would be too feeble minded to fight my suggestions of temporary placement on the throne. But you... my, you were just too stubborn for your own good. I had hoped you’d stay in the Fire Nation with Prince Zuko, but when you returned it made things much more complicated. You see, I underestimated you the first time. But now, with you helpless at my feet, I’m going to take care of you once and for all.”

The dagger raises and you shut your eyes tight in preparation for your death, but the blade never comes. Instead, the weapon is knocked out from Koa’s grasp by a very familiar boomerang.

“Get away from her!” Sokka cries fiercely. He attempts to charge at the man, but Koa is quick and manages to evade Sokka’s grasp before running out into the hallway. “Guards, stop him!”

You watch from the corner of your eye as a group of men rush past your doorway in pursuit of Koa, oblivious to Sokka’s movements as he scoops you up off the ground and rushes you to his sister in hopes that she can somehow heal you of the poison.

“How did you know he was here?” You manage to ask him.

“I didn’t. Katara sent me to come get you for dinner because she knew if I didn’t you’d spend all night looking over those plans my dad sent you,” Sokka says seriously. “Y/n, you we’re almost killed!”

“I’m sorry...”

Sokka, realizing the harshness of his tone, lets out a small sigh. “It’s not your fault, but I have to put my foot down here. We obviously can’t fight Koa on our own anymore, we have to get help.”

“Sokka, what are you saying?” You utter uneasily, reluctant to hear the answer you know is coming.

“We have to tell Zuko about Koa.”

| tags: @rainteslerrrr @simpinforsukka @oddment-niwit-blubber-tweak @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @coldlilheart @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @zukh03s @taeeemin @user12345321 @just--artemis--with--ghost @titaniafire @dekahg @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @lozzybowe @izzieserra @melacholy @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @djskfkdkkf @xapham @yeetletzgetitjae @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @neighborhoodpansexualdisaster @noodlesfluffy @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch

#oh boy #a bit anticlimactic but trust me it pays off #zuko #zuko x reader #zuko imagine #prince zuko #prince zuko x reader #prince zuko imagine #zuko and the princess #sokka #sokka x reader #hakoda #avatar: the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #atla #atla x reader #atla imagine #fire lilies #the throne

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fallingfor-fics · 4 years ago

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Teachers Pet-chapter 14: wandering

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chapter 13

I awoke suddenly feeling a cold breeze of air brush my face, I looked around and realized I had fallen asleep outside against the tree, and it was now nighttime. "Crap" I whispered looking down at my watch. It was already 9 o'clock. How had no one questioned where I was? Better yet how had no one seen me? I frowned a bit at the thought no one came to find me. It was freezing too, considering it was Winter, I'm surprised it wasn't snowing yet.

I stood up and grabbed my bag and began to head back inside the castle to head to my dormitory. I let out a deep breath remembering the realization I had come to before I drifted off. I hated having to deal with this now. Well actually, there really was no way to deal with this. Most people that develop...feelings for someone are actually able to work through and maybe act on them. But not I. I was to be stuck with this for however long it decides to stick around. I don't want to jump to conclusions, it's not like I like the man, I just...fancy him. Yeah, fancy that's the perfect word to describe what I felt for Severus. My potions Professor. Oh merlin y/n what is wrong with you!? He's a teacher for heaven's sake. I need to do everything possible to get rid of this feeling, or redirect it somehow.

I finally made it back into my dormitory and quietly took a shower and got ready for bed. My roommates seemed to be pretty heavy sleepers. I stood in the mirror fresh out of the shower and brushed my hair. Looking at the girl before me, the one who has convinced herself somehow, to fall for this cruel man. But he wasn't cruel was he. Not to me at least. I put my dark green nightgown on and slipped on my panties, exiting the bathroom after washing my face and brushing my teeth. I laid a few pats on Hera and gave her a treat, crawling into bed and looking up at my ceiling. How could this have happened? He was so awful to me when we first met, I mean he's awful to everyone, how did I stem feelings from seeing him a couple extra hours, and pleasing him by passing this test? It all seemed to have happened overnight. I began to realize though it didn't happen overnight, I've felt this way since he saved me from detention with Lockhart. Foolish of me. I closed my eyes waiting to drift asleep, but to no surprise, I couldn't. Typical, the one time I need my thoughts to shut up, they don't, they only hinder me from the peaceful release. I did take a rather long nap earlier, so it makes sense. I got up and slipped on some socks and grabbed my wand. I exited the dormitory and walked out into the dungeons. Holy shit it's cold, I thought to myself. "Lumos" I whispered and began walking down the hall, not in the direction of Snape's class. Last thing I would need right now is to run into a certain brooding man. I crossed my arms over my chest to help with the cold feeling, and continued taking a slow stroll through the castle. I could probably easily get caught and would most definitely get some form of punishment, but I didn't really care. It's not like they'd kick me out or something.

I looked out a window as I passed by it and looked out at the forest. I've heard stories of the Forbidden Forest, but I figured it was forbidden for a reason. I did have some desire to explore it one day though, just not tonight. I continued down the hall and looked at all the portraits as they slept. This school really is wondrous. I do miss Beauxbatons. To think if I hadn't been torn from there I may not be in the predicament I found myself in currently. I decided to head to the kitchens to see if the house elves were still in there, or if they too go and sleep, and maybe i'd be able to get a cup of coffee or something. As I headed that way I heard mumbling voices and turned out my wand and clung to the wall, I looked over the corner to see Professor Flitwick and Professor Lockhart conversing as they walked past and continued monitoring the halls, heading towards the Ravenclaw dormitories. I quietly tiptoed once I saw them out of sight and picked up the pace to the kitchen. As I reached the doors I stood on my toes to look through the windows and saw no one inside. I let myself in and walked over to what I hoped was the coffee machine. Now where's the coffee? I went through each cabinet checking where it could be, it didn't help it was dark, but I didn't wanna risk being seen. I opened and closed each cabinet as quietly as possible still having no luck. I squatted down to the very far end cabinet on the bottom but it was locked, hmm this must be where they keep the coffee so no one drinks it, silly I thought, "Alohomora" I whispered pointing my wand to it and heard it click open. Sure enough to my surprise the coffee was indeed in here, It was a special blend so I was guessing it was one of the teachers in specific, I pulled the jar out and put enough into a filter into the pot to make one cup and then added the water, I pressed the power button and took a few minutes to figure out how to work it. Before I pressed brew I thought for a moment and placed a silencing spell on the room.

After what seemed like forever, but in reality was 5 minutes, the coffee was done and I poured it all into a mug I found on the shelf. I blew on it a bit but it was still very hot. I laid it on the counter and cleaned up the machine. I grabbed the coffee tin and went to place it back in its place, as I squatted down I noticed in the back of this cabinet were a few bottles of firewhiskey and wine. Wow the Professors must have some fun around here. I looked at the brown bottles and thought about it for a moment. No I shouldn't If I get caught with that I would actually be kicked out. I left it alone for now and shut the cabinet, locking it and taking my cup from the counter. I headed out of the kitchen checking to make sure no one was near and took the charm off as I left. I began walking down the quiet and cold halls once more. I then had an idea. I made my way all the way to the stairs that led to the Astronomy tower and headed up in it to sit and enjoy the hot beverage. I stood leaning against the wall looking out over the courtyards and rest of the castle, you could see a lot of the school from here, this was probably my favorite place to come in the whole school. All the stars twinkling above. I took a sip of my cup, the hot liquid running down my throat, a sigh of relief as warmth filled my body. It was very cold up here and I wish I had brought my coat.

I looked up at the sky, and my thoughts began to run, I soon realized the only thing on my mind was My professor. How stupid of me to let this happen. I think the worst part was how I knew I would not be able to confide in anyone about these inappropriate feelings, no one would understand, and who knows they may think I'm dreadful and disgusting. I never confided in my father, and stopped confiding in my mother when I realized anytime I did she would ask me what I did that caused this to happen, it was always my fault no matter how many times I was screwed over. The only one I would ever be able to confide in was my sister. We were very close and she always listened and gave me good advice, she was so understanding, kind, and non judgmental. She was a much better person than I. She would have loved this view too, she would have loved Hogwarts, I just know she would have been in Hufflepuff, she'd fit right in with them. Or maybe Griffyndor, she was so brave when it came down to tough situations. My mother would be a Raven claw no doubt, she's very smart and technical. I don't know what my father would be. "Probably a Slytherin that bastard" I said out loud taking another sip. He attended Durmstrang. I cringed at the thought of him being in my house as well. I was nothing like him. He was horrible and vain, not to mention incredibly sexist and probably everything else you could think of. That asshole was such a phony too. He'd act so chill and nice to people, but it was all a facade to hide his cunty side. I grew frustrated just thinking about him.

I began to feel a hot tear slide down my face, my sister would have tried defending him, she was so sweet, she hated when he and I would fight. Always breaking it up and telling me how he wasnt worth it, and even though he's a jerk he was still our father. I was glad to have left him, hopefully I'd never have to see him again, I'd miss having a dad, but not him. I sniffled and a few more tears came down my face. I sat down on one of the ledges and looked out at the moon, it was so beautiful. I wish I could just live on the moon, carefree, peaceful, and quiet. Numb to everything. I wouldt have to live with these new feelings for this man I would never have. I began to cry more thinking about how dreadful my remaining years here at Hogwarts would be if these feelings did not resolve themselves. I want to blame my after for this, if he didnt leave me so damaged maybe I wouldn't be craving the affection and appreciation from this older man. I wiped my tears as they fell remembering the way he smelt, his smile, his hair, his eyes. They were so dark and held great sadness. I could tell he's been through a lot, but he was good at hiding it. I wiped the tears that still flooded down and looked up to the sky. "What do I do? How do I deal with this?" I asked no one, not expecting a direct response, but some sign at least. "Please. I'm not cut out for this type of thing. Why him? Of all the people here why him? What do I do!" I said as I let my frustration take over and began to cry harder, thinking of this beautiful man that I'd never get to touch and have, that I was growing such strong feelings for.

#snape x reader #snape imagine #severusnape #professor snape #snape #severus snape #severusimagine #severus x reader #severus snape x reader #Snape slowburn #slytherin #hogwarts

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psychedellic-phase · 4 years ago

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Fifteen (pt 13)

(gif by me! I use the iphone app momento)

tw: language, angst, mentions of drug use (relapse), mentions of miscarriage

word count: 7.3k (im sorry)

masterlist

series masterlist

Spencer got up from the cold tile floor, fuzzy unicorn in hand, and faced the window above the kitchen sink. He stared out of it, admiring the snow that was still falling lightly, wondering if it was raining in Seattle. His memory flashed to the last time he stood in the rain with you, but he tried to shake the images away. Instead he watched the snowflakes hit his windowpanes and melt. He hoped that maybe you were somewhere staring out of a window, admiring the dreary weather, and thinking of him too.

He found his place against the dishwasher again, sliding down as his mismatched socks gave way so he could stretch his long legs out fully. He pulled the nearly empty box onto his lap and appreciated the light weight of it, as he continued with his twelfth letter and thirteenth item. Thirteen, a number whose history of unluckiness stems all the way back to the thirteen attendees of the Last Supper, and tracks through the number of steps leading up to the gallows, all the way to the number of letters in the names of some of the most infamous criminals.

Thirteen was a haunted number, which rightly accompanied a haunting letter.

“This one’s long. It’s a month of tarnished memories packed into a few pieces of paper. So far I’ve gone through half of a college-ruled one subject notebook and I’ve had to change pens twice. It’s nearing 2:30, and the wine is finally hitting my empty stomach. Sorry in advance for the way my handwriting will be. I’ll try to make this make as much sense as I can.

If you look at your thirteenth item it is the notepad I stole from that resort in Florida. There isn’t much around to signify this letter. You don’t keep mementos from one of the saddest days of your life, but for some reason I took this useless paper and shoved it in my purse on my way out. Good thing I did, or you’d have no item to attach to these memories. Though I suppose that might be better.

The resort was where we were going to be at for our ‘babymoon,’ whatever that is. What a dumb idea, I’m still mad at myself for letting Garcia talk us into one. She just made it sound so appealing.

Once everyone knew I was pregnant, Hotch pretty much sat me in Quantico with Penelope. There were a few local cases where I was lucky enough to go visit the ME’s office, but usually I kicked my feet up in her lair while you were out in the field.

“A what?” I said one day as she ran DNA through CODIS. The two of us were drinking herbal tea, and I was barely 16 weeks. I just looked like I had a big lunch in my stomach, not a baby the size of an avocado.

“A babymoon. It’s like a honeymoon, but you go when you’re pregnant. It’s one last trip for mommy and daddy to go on and spend quality time together. How many trips have you and Dad-Wonder even been on?”

I shrugged. We didn’t travel much for pleasure. We traveled for work, so on our rare days off we liked to be at home.

“I mean we’ve gone to Vegas and Connecticut a few times.”

She rolled her eyes, “Visiting family, my dear, is not a vacation! I was thinking you two would go to the beach. You guys relax and wade in the ocean and Spencer can build sandcastles that defy every law of physics!”

I laughed at that. You and the beach? It just didn’t feel natural to me. Probably because you aren’t capable of actually relaxing.

“That does sound fun,” I said and I spoke to my barely there stomach, “And it would make daddy take a few days off.”

Penelope squealed and started clicking at her computer, “I’ll find a resort online right now! Okay so how about Marco Island? It’s gorgeous and in Florida, so it’ll be like eighty and sunny, even in the beginning of December.”

“I’ll have to talk to Spence about it. I mean I know it would be fun and all but we really should be saving money for a crib, and car seat, and bassinet, and high chair, and a rocking chair, and a baby swing, and a—“

Garcia stopped me from spiraling out of control, “That is why you throw a huge baby shower! People buy those things for you.”

I rubbed my tummy again, “Oh no, Daddy is very particular about what things are bought.”

“That’s why you have a registry, Momma Bear. Now, no more excuses.”

Before I could even call you, she had put in both of our requests for days off and we had a week long reservation at this fancy resort that you see listed at the top of this notepad, the “Crystal Cove”.

I was only slightly mortified that she did all this without me asking you. Mostly, I was happy. I was afraid you wouldn’t say yes, but if PG already booked it, you kind of had to agree. And to my surprise, you did.

When you got back from that case we were at home, you eating something I had poorly made from a random cookbook on a shelf. I had decided to start cooking more, so I could make homemade meals. I wanted to be that mom who cuts sandwiches into flower shapes and always has fresh baked bread and cookies laying around. I wanted us to be those parents; the ones who are so sickeningly in love that their kids roll their eyes every time they kiss. We were those parents, kind of, if we could even be considered ‘parents.’ At that point, I don’t think we were. But we were definitely in tooth-rotting, sickeningly sweet love.

“So, I have a surprise for you,” I said, coming up behind you and rustling your hair.

“Hm?” You said, stuffing your face like you hadn’t eaten in days. You probably hadn’t. You’re the king of forgetting to eat. Maybe that’s how you stay so skinny.

“I booked a trip, well I guess technically Garcia did.”

“A trip?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, a trip, to the beach. Penelope called it a ‘babymoon.’”

You laughed, “A babymoon? I’m not familiar."

I smiled and sat across from you, “It’s like a honeymoon, except it's just me and you relaxing and spending quality time together before this lil dude makes his appearance.”

You smiled, “I’m telling you, it’s a girl.”

I rolled my eyes, “It’s definitely a boy, but stop ignoring my offer.”

“Well, it’s not really an offer so much as it is you telling me that we’re doing this.”

“Okay, yes Garcia helped me book it already, and yes she put in our requests for days off, but you can say no.”

You did your little nose twitch scrunch thing, “I’d never say no to quality time with you, Love.”

You leaned over and kissed me, and I squealed, “I’m so excited! I have to buy maternity bathing suits now! Oh and a sunhat!””

Spencer smiled fondly, recounting that day. He was thrilled to go, minus the part where he’d have to wear shorts, and flip flops. Something about the piece that goes between your toes makes him squeamish. He was looking for the right opportunity to use something special he had bought for you, and you had just given him it. A week on a beautiful beach with the love of his life? That would be the perfect time to ask you what he had been waiting to ask you since JJ’s wedding. He was going to take Hotch’s advice; stop waiting, start doing, and get down on one knee with a blue velvet box.

He never got the chance to. The trip was supposed to be in the beginning of December, around your week twenty-four. You never got that far.

He got up from the ground, immediately digging around in a drawer full of pencils and compasses and rulers, finding the blue box in a corner. It was covered in pencil shavings and dust. He hadn’t looked at it in months. He held it delicately in his hands before opening it.

It was plain, but he remembered you said that was what you wanted.

“Oval, of course and silver,” You had explained to Penelope and JJ at a night out years ago. Derek and Spencer sat on the opposite side of the table, but his ears perked up at the mention of rings.

“I like just the band,” JJ said, admiring her own ring, “And I have Henry’s birthstone, the citrine, so I didn’t need another one.”

“What kind of stone Y/N? I’d love a pink diamond! Or a ruby! Imagine!” Penelope gushed.

You shook your head, “I’d take cubic zirconia, if it was coming from the right guy.”

Both Penelope and JJ stuck their tongues out, “Nuh-uh!” Garcia said, grabbing her phone to scroll through more pinterest photos.

“Spence will be getting you a diamond.”

You rolled your eyes and whispered, “Don’t jinx it JJ! And I don’t want a diamond.”

Her mouth dropped, “No diamond? Really.”

“Diamonds aren’t ethically sourced.”

“Lab grown! Get lab grown!” PG piped it, showing you a picture of a ring, just an oval in a plain silver setting.

“That! That’s the one!” You said and Garcia giggled, going on a rant about her dream wedding.

Spencer had gotten that exact ring. Lab grown, oval, classic, beautiful. It was what you wanted, and you deserved everything you ever wanted.

Spencer looked at the notepad. He could tell you had a hard time picking an item for this letter. He knows this letter is the end, the other two are the epilogue of a story he wishes you kept writing. Crystal Cove is the place where he had planned on asking you to marry him, but it ended up being the place where your love story ended. He tossed the notebook to the side and decided that the souvenir for this letter was now going to be this ring. This ring that sparkled and shined, even in the dull incandescent lights of his kitchen. This ring that belonged on your finger, and not in the back of a drawer. This ring that you didn’t even know existed, but if you had, maybe you’d still be together.

“I did buy three maternity bathing suits, and you bought shorts. Spencer Reid in shorts. It was going to be the best trip ever. We were going to snorkel and look at sea turtles and sunbathe and drink virgin piña coladas by the ocean. We were going to get couples massages and spend every moment loving and appreciating each other.

The actual trip? Much different than the one we had planned on paper, but let’s first discuss that time between the hospital and the trip.

It was four weeks. Four weeks of me sitting at home while you were off at work. Four weeks of the door opening and Derek walking through, not you. And on the odd chance that it was you opening the door, you’d be appearing at odd hours of the night to grab a new suit or a file or a snack and then getting back in your shitty car and going to your apartment. Each time I heard that comforting sound of your satchel hitting the floor, I’d crawl out of the cave of blankets I was in to find you, and you’d act like I wasn’t even there.

For the first few days, you asked me how I was and if I was feeling better, then you’d check your phone and wave goodbye. After that, I was lucky if you’d say hello, then I was lucky if I even got a glimpse of you. You never held me. You never kissed me. You never told me you loved me.

I got all my information about you from Derek. Every day I texted you, “Have a good day at work! Talk soon?” And everyday you didn’t answer, so I’d ask Derek if you were okay. He’d always tell me what you were doing. Usually you would take a stack of files of cases to a dark room and make preliminary profiles to send back to the departments, alone. I’d tell him thank you, and the next day would be the same nonsense.

Those four weeks dragged. It was like every minute was an hour and everyday was a year. I was healing, even without you, everyday I felt better and better. But that’s relative to the day before. I haven’t felt ‘good’ yet. I haven’t felt ‘happiness’ yet. But I will. And I’m counting on that.

My mandatory leave was four weeks, and at the end of that Hotch called me in for a ‘mandatory psychological evaluation.’ I didn’t tell you about it because you weren’t speaking to me, and even when you did you were angry and snappy and rude.

I didn’t pass the evaluation. Even though the BAU wrote those damn questions, I still didn’t pass. When my four weeks were up, you were expecting me at work, and I never showed. You didn’t notice how not okay I was because you were too busy handling your own feelings, which I understand. You have to take care of yourself first, deal with your own trauma before touching anyone else’s. So, your trauma was none of my business, a concept you should've applied to my healing process.

I was supposed to come back on a Monday and when I didn’t show you came to the house. You opened the door and yelled my name. It was a sound I hadn’t heard in weeks, and it felt good. I thought you had finally come home. I thought you were finally ready to heal with me, but you weren’t. You were there to judge me.

I think I ran to where you were, a smile on my face that I didn’t think I was capable of making, “Hey!”

You looked so put together in a neatly pressed suit, but your eyes exposed you. They were bloodshot and the bags were so large they almost reached the end of your nose. I had on one of your shirts; it was comforting at the time. Not so much anymore.

You looked me up and down, a small scowl forming on your face, “Where were you today?”

I took a deep breath, and I lied, because lying to you felt easier than telling you the truth. The truth that I was not deemed stable enough to come back, even though I wanted to. I needed to be distracted. I was ashamed, scared, confused.

“I-I didn’t go.”

“Didn’t go? You’ll get fired Y/N.”

I sighed, “No, my leave got extended.”

I could feel the way your eyes bore into my skull as I dodged eye contact.

“Extended?! It’s been four weeks.”

“I’m not ready!” I desperately wanted you to see through it. I thought I was ready, but the papers disagreed.

“Hotch let you do that?” Your voice was increasing and I found myself inching away from you.

“He encouraged it!” Another lie. He didn’t ‘encourage’ it. He forced me.

You rolled your eyes, grabbing your bag and opening the door again.

“You’re leaving? Spencer c’mon I-”

You cut me off by slamming that door in my face.

That’s when I started closing myself off. I started dreading the sound of your feet against the floor at three am. I started to put my own walls up, but they would dull in comparison to the Great Wall of Spencer you built around yourself to keep me out.”

Spencer was always good at putting walls up. In fact, you were the only person to ever get him to take (almost) all of them down. There’s a side of him he doesn’t show anyone, a side of him that he reserves for himself, and when something happens, that’s where he goes. He goes to the corner of his brain where he feels safe, and the walls come up to protect him.

And in those last four weeks, he did just that. He put the walls up, shut you out, and decided that was better. Except it wasn’t better, it just was easier. It was easier for him to bypass you and find a new outfit for work tomorrow. It was easier for him to disappear in the office until the odd hours of the morning. It was easier for him to hide away from you, because when he’s exposed he always gets hurt. It was easier to act like everything was fine, even though everything was the opposite of fine.

He never needed to go to the house, part of him was drawn there like a moth to a lantern. He was drawn to you. As much as he didn’t want to see those four walls, he still needed to check on you. He just did it in his own damaged way. He’d get a glimpse of you in old sweats and a shirt with a hole in it, hair a mess and mascara from two weeks ago adding to your eye bags and he’d be reminded that he couldn’t be there for you. He would never be enough, and he’d retreat into the comfort of solitude.

He was so preoccupied with being hurt, that he didn’t realize just how much he hurt you too.

“I had forgotten about the stupid trip, and so had you. You were too preoccupied with work and not speaking to me and I was preoccupied with crying and trying to speak to you. I only remembered the trip when I got an email from the airline about the flight, they had to move our seats or something stupid. I decided that was a reason for you to actually need to speak to me like I was a person, so I took advantage of it.

I intercepted you at home one day. I had been sitting in the kitchen waiting for you. You came home at two am.

“Hey,” I said, immediately as you walked through the door. You looked surprised that I was up.

“Hi, I’m just gonna—“

“Spencer, stop. We have to talk.”

You crossed your arms, not leaving the threshold of the door, “No. I told you a million times Y/N, I don’t want to talk.”

“Not about...” I couldn’t find the words and you started up the stairs.

“Are we going on this damn trip or not?” I said, my voice cracking from lack of use.

You stopped, looking over the banister at me, “You didn’t cancel it?”

“I didn’t think of it until now. We’re supposed to leave in two days.”

You groaned, “Why didn’t you cancel it?”

I threw my hands up. As if all of this was my responsibility?

“I was preoccupied! Did you cancel your days off?”

You shook your head, rubbing your face, “No, God. Can we still get a refund?”

I was hurt that you didn’t want to go, but not surprised. As I stared at the front door from my spot at the kitchen table I decided that I was going to go no matter what. It was going to be refreshing to look at the ocean instead of an empty nursery. That would be my distraction.

“I-I’m going. I’ll pay for your half, but I’m going. I’m losing my mind here, Spence.”

You looked at me again, still contemplating your options.

“I get it, okay? You can’t be in this house, but neither can I. Maybe we can talk and stuff on neutral ground. I-I just want you there with me, the way it was supposed to be.”

Then you took me by surprise, you nodded, “Yeah, yeah we’ll go.”

I’m sure I lit up like Rockefeller Center at Christmas, “Really?”

You rubbed your eyes, “Yeah, we can go Y/N.”

I was feeling lucky, so I pushed it, too hard, “Are you staying tonight?”

Your voice went from sleepy to sour, “No.”

And you vanished up the stairs, taking all my hope in us with you.

I knew deep down it wouldn’t end well. I knew it was going to be fighting and yelling and arguing, but any time with you was good time with you at that point. And I favored the little bit of serotonin and dopamine you flood my brain with as opposed to staring at the gray walls of the kitchen alone.”

Spencer only agreed to go because he thought he was getting there. Everyday he felt a little better when he’d walk through the door, but he still wasn’t ready. He thought a week of no work and no one to talk to except you would bring the walls down. This would finally be the catalyst in a reaction that was taking far too long to complete. He also couldn’t stand the thought of you flying and spending a week alone. He felt better about you being alone here because you weren’t really alone. You had Derek visiting, Garcia dropping off baskets, phone calls from Emily, the odd visit from Rossi, and apparently phone calls to Hotch, but on that island you’d really be alone, and he was worried about how you’d handle it.

“So two days later we got on a three hour flight to Miami, and I drove our rental car to this resort. We didn’t talk much the whole time, besides some small talk about the flight and other odd comments. It was painfully awkward, and I regretted even coming.

We didn’t speak until I used the keycard to open the door, and we stared at the one king sized bed in the room.

“Oh,” was all you said when you realized you’d have to share with me.

“What?”

“There’s only one bed.”

I rolled my eyes, “Spencer, we’ve shared a bed for three years.”

You just stood at the door with your hands fidgeting on the handle of the suitcase, “I’ll call down and ask for a cot to be brought up.”

“A cot? Are you serious?” I couldn’t believe you, “Why come if you wouldn’t even share a bed with me? I said I’d be fine alone.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but changed your mind.

“Great communication skills Spence. Really, I’m impressed.” You rolled your eyes and finally started to unpack your bag, “I came because I was worried about what you’d do here all alone.”

Part of me was happy you were worried, but a bigger part was annoyed, “I’ve been handling being alone fine, thanks.”

You scoffed, “Yeah. That’s why you need Derek to bring you food everyday, because you’re doing so well.”

I bit my tongue and tried to speak calmly, “Well at least someone checks on me everyday.”

That shut you right up.

The three days you were there went as follows: we slept as far apart from each other as we could, despite how badly I wanted to cuddle into your arms. We’d get up in silence, eat breakfast in silence, walk to the beach and read in silence, eat lunch and dinner in silence, and each night we’d yell at each other until we fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed.

Remember what I said to trigger the fight on December third, your last day there? How could you forget? It’s the fight that broke us up.

“So, I was thinking of going to a counselor,” I said, staring at the waves lap the sand from the balcony of our room. The air felt cold for eighty degrees. But maybe that was just because the air between me and you had been cold for weeks.

You were sitting next to me, but I could tell you were worlds away.

“Spence,” I nudged, trying to snap you out of your daydream.

“Hm? What?”

“I said I’m going to go to a counselor.”

You twisted your face, “A counselor? What for?”

I shrugged, “I-I think it’d be good for me. It’s a grief counselor.”

You turned to look at me, your brow covered in sweat and your eyes watery. You were incessantly bouncing your left leg, rubbing at your nose, and you seemed disinterested in every single thing I was saying or doing. In fact, you’d been acting that way since the first day you disappeared to your apartment.

“Counselor? Yeah,” You were fidgeting, barely making eye contact.

A feeling I can only describe as pure dread formed in my stomach. I thought I might puke, but I swallowed the feeling and kept talking, “I got a recommendation from Hotch. He said he went to Dr. Stevens after Haley died. He said it really helped.”

You were still not listening.

“I think it’d be good if we went together.”

That finally got your undivided attention. “Together?” You snapped, “No.”

“Why not?” I said it with an air of exhaustion and despair. I was tired of this. So fucking tired of it.

“I’m not going to a damn therapist, Y/N,” You seethed, your metal deck chair scraping against the concrete as you stood in front of me.

The sky looked stormy, palm trees whipping in the wind as you came before me. The bags under your eyes looked like bruises, and you had on sleeves. It was eighty and you had on sleeves.

“Okay, I’ll go alone then. I think he could really help us though.”

I was giving up on fighting. I didn’t understand how when I was at my absolute low you could just keep kicking me while I was down. All I wanted was for you to go to someone and talk about it. That’s it. You were acting like I’d asked you to move a mountain for me, which, might I add, at one point you would have done.

“He? You really think a male therapist is going to help? You lost a baby, Y/N—“

“WE,” I clarified, for what felt like the fiftieth time, “We lost a baby.”

You rolled your eyes and ignored me, “You lost a baby. How does a male therapist help you through that?”

I was angry now. It was bubbling up to the top and I thought I might explode.

“He’s a grief counselor! He’ll help me through my GRIEF! And I think you should go because clearly you have a lot going on. You always have! You should’ve been seeing someone for years.”

“Oh, I have a lot going on?” You sneered, “Of course I have a lot going on! I go to work everyday to bring you home a paycheck so you can sit around all day and do nothing.”

I stood up, got close to your face, “I’m on leave.”

“Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that.”

You bypassed me and went inside, and my hot anger turned into wet anger and fat tears were rolling down my cheeks.

“Do you know how traumatic this was on my body? Do you? Everything hurts and you were supposed to be there! You were supposed to take four weeks off too! You were supposed to be there for me!”

“Yeah and who’s there for me!” You yelled, louder than I think you ever had; at me at least. You had thrown your suitcase on the bed, haphazardly grabbing your clothes from the drawers and shoving them in.

“I would’ve been,” I said softly, coming up behind you to grab your arm lightly, “If you had let me.”

You pulled back, “Don’t touch me!”

I reached up to wipe my eyes and crossed my arms in front of myself defensively, “I want to be there for you, Spencer. I do. Why won’t you let me?”

You didn’t answer, because even you didn’t know why. You just stood over the suitcase, one arm on either side of it, hair matted to your sweaty face, panting and panting.

The facts I had chosen to ignore were staring me in the face again. Or maybe I was just that oblivious.

“I’ve never seen you like this. This isn’t you, Love,” I tried to say in my most soothing voice. The dread had clawed its way back up to the back of my throat.

“Or maybe this is me,” you said softly, and I swear you were crying. Or maybe I hoped you were, that way we were both sobbing. That’s as close to togetherness as we could get.

“Maybe this is who I am now, or who I’ve been all along.”

I reached out for you again, but stopped myself, “No, Spencer. The real you isn’t this angry, and bitter, and mean.”

You slammed your hands against the bed, “Yes it is!”

“Is that what you’ve been doing all this time?” I said sadly, shaky breaths between words, “Is that what you’ve been going to your apartment and doing?”

You turned around, skin sweaty and eyes red, “What? What are you talking about now? God, do you ever stop talking?”

I snapped, ignoring your last jab there, “Are you using?”

Your face contorted into a sour expression, “Am I using?”

“Yeah, Spencer! Are you? Because I can’t see any other reason for why you’re so irritable and sweaty and out of it! So I’ll ask you again, are you going through withdrawal?”

You looked like I had literally punched you in the gut, and I kind of had. It was a low blow, I’ll admit it, but I was seriously worried about you. If an event would trigger you, this would’ve been it.

“What? No!”

I wasn’t sure whether or not I should believe you, but I knew I had to support you either way. I love you, even when you’re angry at me, I still love you. Even when you throw clothes and seethe at me through gritted teeth, I still love you. That’s my fatal flaw. No matter how many reasons you give me to stop loving you, I never will.”

Spencer let out a shaky breath, lower lip pinched between his teeth. Was he really that terrible? He didn’t remember being so spiteful. Reading it back, he understood why you thought he was high, and he had thought about it more than he cared to admit. But he hadn’t touched the stuff in seven years, and he wasn’t about to start again now.

‘No matter how many reasons you give me to stop loving you, I never will.’

That line made him want to cry, hands clenching the ring box as if it were a stress ball. That line simultaneously felt like a stab in the gut and a breath of fresh air. He had given you so many reasons to walk away, and the one reason to stay was there in his palm, unused.

““It’s okay if you are. I understand this is a... hard time. I’ll support you through this,” I put my hands out to touch your chest.

“I’m not high and haven’t been in years!” You swatted my hands down.

“Then what the hell is going on!?”

“I’m angry and I’m sad and I’m heartbroken!” You yelled, going back out onto the balcony to stand in the rain that had started pouring down in sheets.

“Spencer! Stop!” I followed you out, tears mixing with rain to the point that I didn’t know which was which.

“I’m just confused! It’s hard to see the point in all this anymore. Maybe it’s just not worth it,” You said, yelling at the ocean not at me. Rain soaked our clothes instantly. Part of me was hoping this scene would end like the ‘notebook’ we’d kiss and you’d spin me around. I guess this is kind of like the notebook, it’s a story to help you remember us. Except you don’t have Alzheimer’s and I wrote 15 letters, not 365.

“Maybe what’s not worth it?” I was yelling too, just so you could hear me over the sound of the wind and the rain.

“This!” You gestured between us. I felt like you knocked the air out of me, my whole body stinging.

“But I love you!”

“All of this has made me realize that love isn’t everything! I love you too but we need more than that!”

That was the first time I’d heard you say ‘I love you’ in a month, but it was a double edged sword. I bit my lip so hard I think I started bleeding, “Love isn’t enough? Are you kidding me, Spencer?”

You swallowed thickly, “No! I’m not kidding. I’ve never been more serious!”

“So what? That’s it?” I said it quietly, but I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to scream that you were being an idiot. You were being ridiculous. You were being unnecessarily cruel. But I didn’t. I was tired and water logged. I had finally given up.

You ran your hands through your hair, “No–it’s–we we aren’t over Y/N. I’m just saying that it’s gonna take more than love to fix us.”

“Well maybe if you were ever home, we could actually try. But you aren’t. You’re always gone! So explain to me how we’re going to fix this. What’s it gonna take Spencer? What do you want from me?”

You took a deep breath, uttering words I was so sick of hearing, “We need space and time.”

“Space? Time? It’s been a month Spencer! I let you go to work. I let you spend every day at your damn apartment. I stopped calling. I stopped checking in. How much more space and time do you want?”

“Thirty-four days,” you mumbled, just so I could barely hear. The thunder rolled, mostly drowning it out.

“What was that?”

“It’s been THIRTY-FOUR days, Y/N. Thirty-four. I don’t know how you expect me to be okay after only thirty-four days.”

“I don’t expect you to be fine! I expect you to speak to me! To look at me! I want to go to bed crying and have you there next to me. I want to be there for you when you’re crying. The only way we get better is if we do this TOGETHER!”

The anger looked like it melted off of you, and I took that as my opportunity to approach. I threw my arms around your soaked body as you shook with sobs into my shoulder. I held you like my life depended on it, because in a way it did. You wrapped your arms around me too, and everything felt okay. We were standing in the pouring rain, holding each other as we cried, and somehow I felt more okay than I had in the thirty-four days prior. It felt like maybe you were coming back to me.

You weren’t.

We stood like that for what felt like hours, and eventually I pulled you inside. I wish I didn’t. I wish we stayed there, holding each other in the rain until the sun came up and dried us off. I foolishly thought the rain washed our sins away.

“It’s going to be okay,” I said, my head on your shoulder as we wrapped ourselves in towels, “I promise.”

You shrugged me off of you, going back to packing your bag.

“Spencer, stop packing, please,” I begged, grabbing the items you were putting in and taking them back out.

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” you said plainly, taking a shirt and putting it back in.

“I-I thought—“

“Thought what, Y/N? That because I cried to you and told you I loved you that we were magically okay?”

I stammered, “No. No! But I thought it meant we were in this together now.”

“You just accused me of relapsing an hour ago.”

“And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, but that’s not a reason you should go,” I pleaded, reaching for you again. I thought if you walked away I’d never see you again.

“You don’t trust me,” your voice cracked.

“No, Love, I—“

“Don’t call me that.”

The pain in my chest bloomed, sending a wave of heartache through my entire body. A heartache I still haven’t been able to shake. It’s still there. Some days it's a thunder crack and sometimes it's a low grumble, but it’s always there. The rain hasn't stopped.

I hadn’t even realized that you were completely packed until you zipped the suitcase shut.

“You’re really leaving?”

You stopped at the door, hand on the handle, to turn and face me. I didn’t need to use my profiling skills to see how much pain you were in, and my pain doubled at the sight. I’ve always been an empath when it comes to you, feeling what you feel like it’s my own.

“I am.”

I crossed the room and threw my arms around you, sobbing into your chest. To my surprise, you wrapped your arms around me lightly.

“I understand,” I said, looking into your eyes, “We can’t be there for each other the way we need to.”

You nodded into my shoulder, “Stay. When you get home from this we’ll talk. I just need a few more days.”

I shook my head, finally coming to the realization that we didn’t work anymore. We weren’t healthy anymore.

“Don’t bother. The writing’s on the wall, Spence,” my voice wavered, and I regretted every word as they left my mouth, “I’ve been waiting for that person from the hospital to come home to me. I’ve been waiting for the Spencer who lends me his shirts and fact dumps and eats IHOP and ice cream with me to come home.”

I felt your breath stop under my arms, “But that Spencer, the Spencer I love, isn’t here anymore. We need to be alone.”

I felt you shake with tears under me, and that triggered mine, “We have to break up.”

I wish I never said it. I wish I gave you those few days, but we both know those few days would’ve turned into weeks and months and we would’ve ended up here anyway. I wish you didn’t let me say them. I wish you kissed me to shut me up and told me I was being stupid. I wish I didn’t watch you go down that elevator, tears on your cheeks. I wish I didn’t spend the other four days in an empty king sized bed, crying for you.

I realize now that you changed. I did too. Instead of wishing for the old you, I should’ve learned to love the new you. I think I would’ve, if I had given it a chance. Actually, I know I would’ve. I think I’d fall in love with every version of you that could ever exist or has ever existed. You and I, we’re meant to be together.

I know you probably don’t believe in it, but I like to think that we’re twin flames; we’re two halves of one soul that somehow ended up in two bodies and constantly pull to find each other again. I’ve read a lot about them recently. Twin flames don’t necessarily end up together. They can even just be two people with an intense friendship. They’re people who help each other grow, even if that means they’re only in your life for a short time. I like to think that we are that case, and that in some parallel universe I’m with you and we have our daughter and we’re happy. I just wish that I was in that universe now.

I know it’s for the best that we went to the damn Crystal Cove and broke up. I’m sure someday in the future I’ll be pleased with that decision, but for now, I still regret it.”

Spencer stared at the notepad, eyes flicking between that in his left hand and the ring box in his right. He took the ring out and admired it in the light. It glinted and glimmered, delicately refracting light onto the cabinets. He slid it halfway down his ring finger because that’s as far as it would go. He imagined it was on your slender, perfectly manicured hand instead of his, but an ache formed where his heart was when he realized it’d never end up here.

Spencer grabbed the notebook. It was unlined and the paper felt flimsy and thin. He got up from the floor to find a pencil in the drawer the ring had been hidden in, and took it out to scrawl his own letter to go with his own memento. A sixteenth letter for a sixteenth item you had no idea even existed.

“Y/N,

I’d like to consider this letter sixteen, to go with the engagement ring that’s in my palm. I bought this ring the day after we ate dinner at Rossi’s and showed everyone tiny FBI onesies. I have your perfect ring here in my hand, a plain silver band with a lab-grown diamond in a four-prong setting in the center, just like you told Garcia you wanted. I should’ve given it to you the day I bought it, but I waited until the perfect opportunity presented itself.

What you didn’t know about the trip to the Crystal Cove was that I was going to propose to you there. I was going to get down on one knee in the sand at sunset after dinner. I even had a whole speech planned. I was going to tell you that I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love you, or that anyone would ever love me the way that you do. I was going to say that it amazes me how everyday, I wake up and love you more than I did the night before. And everyday I think it’s be impossible to love you and our daughter more than I do right now. I wanted to tell you that I want to wake up every morning and feel that for the rest of my life. I want the good, the bad, the ugly, I want it all. I want Korean film festivals and IHOP breakfasts and to talk to the moon. I want tubs of ice cream and overly sentimental flowers hanging from the wall. Most of all I wanted to say that I want to spend every day of my life making you happy.

That speech still applies today. I still love you enough to ask you, but I don’t think you love me enough to say yes.

It’s okay. It really is. I haven’t decided what to do yet, but if you do read this, just know that it’s okay. I promise you, it’s okay. I’m not the bitter, angry man I was at the Crystal Cove anymore. I changed again, and I hope you’re right. I hope we are twin flames and your soul will come looking for mine, and I hope it happens in this universe, not the infinite parallels that may or may not exist. I miss you and I want nothing more than for you to come back. Come home, Love, please come home.

-SR”

He stared at the notebook page, before tearing it off and folding it in half, placing it in his pocket for safekeeping. He went on his computer and bought the cheapest one-way ticket to Seattle that he could find. He needed to see you. He needed you to see this letter, see this ring. He needed to make this right.

The flight was a red eye, leaving at midnight, so he’d get to the Seattle field office by eight. He looked at the leather watch and saw that it was nearly nine. He decided had to finish, and he had to finish now, as he grabbed letter #14.

PART 14

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Taglist!

@l0ve-0f-my-life @aperrywilliams @helloniallslovelies @random-ravings @ajwantsapancake @andiebeaword @boiled-onionrings @frnks-stuff @icantevenanymore1 @mellifluouswildbluebells @rottenearly @sammypotato67 @blushingwueen @peaxhyjaes @justanotherfangurlz @juniorgman187 @mbowles23-blog @blameitonthenight21 @goldentournesol @rainsong01 @thelifeofadumbbitch @swimmingtrashwobblersludge @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @eldahae

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #spencer x you #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #cm #matthew gray gubler #mgg #dr spencer reid

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amazildoessomethingstupid · 3 years ago

Text

Chapter 68: December

Hey guys, welcome back. As you can tell by the title, we have a very special rant in store. As you guys may know, this rant series is meant to be about me catching up with BCB and where it’s been going recently, and give my thoughts about it. But today we are going to be doing something a little different, instead we are going to go back. And I mean WAY back. To one of if not the most notorious, the most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl. That’s right boys and girls…

WARNING: Very long Tumblr breaking rant below the break.

If you’re wondering why I’m doing this, it’s mostly because I wanted to do another Let’s Rant video but most of the boys don’t know about BCB. So when I made comparisons to December, they didn’t really understand what I was talking about. And I know that some of you new viewers may not understand why people hate December as much as we do. To really understand, you must put yourself in the shoes of a dedicated reader. Back to the year of 2011, a simpler time. A dark time. And we start off with one of my personal favorite pages in Bittersweet Candy Bowl.

SNOW. FUCKING SNOW!

FUCK. YEEEAAAAAAAH! LET’S HEAR IT FOR FUCKING SNNNNNNOOOOOWWWWWWWW!

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Alright that may seem like an over reaction, but let me set the stage for you alright, because at the time that this chapter came out I was a dedicated reader. And I mean full blown fan, waiting for the hour to change to read the pages as they came out. And at this time, Taeshi was going through a real rough time and it was quite apparent to everyone who was in the community. The plot seemed to stagnate, and there wasn’t much happening. Taeshi’s behavior had grown very strained and it was the common consensus that she needed to take a break.

So she did, and in order to take a break the upload schedule turned to two pages a week… The problem was that up to this point, Bittersweet Candy Bowl was uploading on an every other day upload schedule. Now the problem that comes when you slow down your schedule like that, is that it’s meant to be temporary, or that you compensate that with content in the pages and chapter that makes the wait more bearable or at least less tedious…

Now with all that in mind. Imagine if you will, that you had to wait 4 days for a new page to start a new chapter, and you were greeted by…

FUCKING SNOW! And a dread filled your heart as you realized you’d have to stare at snow for another full 2 days before you could look at something else, and hope that it’s more interesting than fucking. Snow.

The next page does not disappoint though, because now we actually have characters! And dialogue!

And look a joke, haha! Except

Look at all the characters in this page. You got Daisy, you got Paulo, you got abbey, you got David, you got sir Noodles, and you got a reinforcing action to remind us about how Abbey and Paulo’s relationship is.

Guess how how many or which of these characters actually matter in this chapter or have an effect on it. Can you guess?

Yup, yeah that’s right none of em. Not a single fucking one of these characters matter. Not a single fucking thing in this page fucking matters at all, it barely even constitutes as a set up for the rest of the chapter. Congratulations, we just wasted a week of your time. Actually I was wrong, you know what the one and only thing that this page does that means anything?

There! That one fucking line. You waited a whole fucking week to digest two pages and all it really tells you that you didn’t know is what FUCKING TIME IT IS! EXCEPT EVEN THAT IS TOLD TO YOU

BY THE TITLE OF THE FUCKING CHAPTER! I am losing my shit this early because I want to make it abundantly clear just how infuriating this chapter was to read. This was when I realized we were in for a LONG ride. To better understand this, the chapters that preceded this one were centered around Lucy’s slow decline into depression, after her friendship with Mike had become fractured leading to her isolating (or at least distancing herself) from Mike (and the rest of the gang by proxy). This chapter was billed to be the culmination of all that fallout, which makes this pacing SO GRATING.

Thankfully page 3 actually does have characters that matter, and it actually is a set up for what the chapter is going to be centered around which is the kids working on a World War 2 Essay.

And we finally get a bit of substance to sink our teeth into! But before we go any further I should tell you a bit about my. Man. Mike. So Mike is a moody bitch. I talked a bit about what happened to Lucy, but Mike despite literally NOTHING happening to him directly since then aside from the rest of the gang not understanding why he wanted to separate from Lucy is still being moody and bitchy. And here we see him reach PEAK MOODY MIKE!

Haha that’s an actually good joke. I appreciated that when it came out.

And so, because Mike is being a moody bitch he ends up sealing his fate and is paired with Lucy. And for a second here, I had hope. Since Taeshi is pretty much declaring how frustrating and stupid Mike’s moodiness has been for the past number of chapters. Also while we’re here, I’d like to point out how everyone in this page apparently got their arm lopped off. I mean look!

At least Lucy was able to find her right arm at the end there. But also, look at Abbey!

Oh look at him, you can see how he cares about Mike’s position on distancing from Lucy! Awww such a good friend. Oh he’s definitely not going to make a heel turn and accuse others of not caring about Mike!

I am so glad I saved that image.

Anyway the next page is Mike and Lucy deciding to go to the library to work on the essay.

And then the page after that is Lucy trying to make an effort to ease the awkwardness, while Mike gives her the cold shoulder. Congratulations. We have spent a week, walking to the fucking library.

The monotony is broken up though, as we get to see that Augustus is at this library.

It doesn’t stop the back and forth that we just got in the last two pages from continuing though, and as a reminder this is all that we’ve been given to sustain ourselves for three whole weeks!

At least Augustus is able to break up this feet-dragging by giving us SOMETHING different to talk about.

Ooh look, something actually interesting! We get some insight into Lucy and Augustus’ relationship. For context, Augustus has been a very interesting side-character; one of the best. And his relationship with Lucy is a pretty nice one with its own complexities and great chemistry. As I’ve mentioned before, Lucy had spent the last few chapters isolating herself from Mike to try to let things cool off and respect his wishes. In that time, she ended up finding company in Augustus, the resident bad boy. He was suspected of attempted rape on Daisy, but we’re not talking about that.

Well maybe a little.

Lucy expresses what she’s dealing with and like before, she’s trying to find understanding from Augustus.

And he is having NONE OF IT! As someone who actually has serious problems, he calls Lucy out for being a privileged blue-eyed white cat whose only problem in life is being rejected by someone she loves.

But Augustus does give Lucy some advice, in how he sees and deals with his situation. Showing that while he does think Lucy is stupid for even thinking about killing herself over Mike, he does want to help her. It’s just…

He’s wrong. He’s so fucking wrong.

We now know through the power of hindsight, that Abbey and Daisy’s relationship was a total sham! It wasn’t a healthy loving relationship at all! It was all a lie!

GOTTA LOVE THEM RETCONS AMIRITE?!

Nah we haven’t even STARTED to begin.

Anyway, Augustus leaves and we’re back to this bullshit. Now Mike’s not just being moody, he’s being judgy!

Oh no, fuck you Lucy! I don’t want anything to do with you, I want you to be out of my life!

Hey, what are you doing, talking and having a conversation with someone I don’t care about? Stop being such a leech! Just because I don’t want you to be in my life, doesn’t mean you can just go and move on to find company in other people! Why don’t you just die alone and unloved like I tell you to?!

But don’t worry right after, Lucy breaks the ice and gets a smile out of the boy!

It’s a breath of fresh air, and we see the dynamic with the two is still there and-

No, I didn’t buy that when this page came out either. It’s meant to portray that Lucy can make Mike feel better and break him out of his funk, but…yeah at this point I knew better. By the way, it has now been one whole month of December.

And we’re only a third of the way through.

And thankfully we’re out of the library. And even more fortunately…

Taeshi learned that you don’t have to spend two whole updates on moving your characters from one location to the other! She’s learned you can smash two pages together and NOT WASTE YOUR AUDIENCE’S FUCKING TIME!

As for the actual content of this page, Lucy and Mike go to Mike’s house and we get a bit of Lucy interacting with Mike’s family, and how they get along well. Mike’s still moody as ever though, and we get our first glimpse that things aren’t perfect for him. Also

RIP the boy, Chris. he ain’t dead but I do miss him.

Anyway, the two go to Mike’s room to study, and it’s still awkward until Lucy breaks the silence!

Old joke is old, but I love it nonetheless.

Okay, enough foolin’ around. Actually Lucy decides that she’s tired of pussyfooting around, and decides to say, “fuck it” and let off some steam by playing some video games like old times!

Mike is of course denying it and content in stewing in his anger. But lucy is adamant about doing something to break this stupid cycle of drama. I like it. Even though I didn’t buy the bit of Lucy making Mike laugh by showing a funny face, this one I do like. And while some (especially at the time) would point to this as an example of Lucy emotionally manipulating Mike to get what she wants in making him not angry at her, I would say-

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME HAVE THIS ONE, JUST THIS ONCE! I HAVE BEEN SO GOD DAMN CONTENT STARVED, THIS FUCKING DRAMA HAS BEEN GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS! MIKE AND LUCY HAVEN’T TALKED OR ADVANCED THEIR POSITIONS IN MONTHS! LET ME EMBRACE THIS ONE LIGHT IN DARKNESS BEFORE IT IS SNUFFED OUT! LET. ME. HAVE. HOPE.

THANK YOU!

And so after a bit of a timelapse we get to see Mike and Lucy playing together, and how the turns tabled!

It’s great, and we even get a glimpse at how Lucy has been progressing herself. Perhaps the improvement in gaming being a metaphor of her own self-improvement.

We even get a bit of Mike reflecting and thinking how it is nice. And remembering that Lucy isn’t really that bad.

The scene continues, and we get a peek into Mike’s circumstance. As Mike kind of reveals that he himself has felt quite alone without Lucy there. And it’s really touching, it’s good character development.

And Lucy continues to take initiative to stop the awkwardness, by giving Mike a distraction. Not looking to fill the hole in his heart, not looking to force him to accept her. But allowing him to enjoy himself in the moment. It’s nice. It’s…

Really…nice…

Y’know…

It really was nice.

Ladies and gentlemen.

This is December.

[redacted due to Tumblr purposes. insert the entire Mike yelling scene from January here]

One month. That’s how long this scene lasted in real-time. Everyone who was a fan in 2011, everyone who had been so deeply invested in these characters watching them grow, interact, struggle, and suffer for years. All of them could only watch for one entire month as Taeshi ripped their hearts out. People defended this scene when it came out. There’s still people who defend this scene to this day, saying that Mike was right. I wasn’t one of those people. When this scene came out, I was shocked. I couldn’t understand what was going on, but I knew it was wrong. It was the first time I ever got into a discussion about BCB, because I just had to understand what the fuck was happening and why. Why is this happening? Why would Mike do this? How is this possible? And the only response I got, was that I just couldn’t understand. And y’know…

They were right. I didn’t understand. I was never really abused as a child. I never had bad friends, or was really bullied (except one time). There was no way I could grasp what the fuck just happened. Which felt so bizarre, because when this chapter came out…I was 15. I was the same age as these characters and I couldn’t fathom doing what Mike just did. I couldn’t imagine any of my friends saying what Mike just said. And yet everyone else seemed to understand, to the point I thought that I was the weird one. Did I just fucking win the social lottery or something and just not have any shitty friends?

Maybe so…But y’know after all these years, stewing and thinking about December which has haunted me as I’m sure it has, many other readers. And after all this time, running it around my head, and arguing about it, I think I finally understand. I get it…I finally get what Mike’s saying here.

That being said, no this scene is still bullshit.

Now let me tell you why.

First of all, look at this face.

Just look at this dopey doe-eyed cute cat right here, BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER SEE THAT AGAIN.

But just to recap, let’s start with the actual preamble to the bullshit. Mike gets a text from Sandy which makes him revert back to his moody Mike self. And I will say at least here, Mike is in character. He’s been a bitch this whole chapter, and he’s just snapping back to it because he is reminded “Oh yeah, Sandy exists!” so he tells Lucy to beat it.

Lucy is understandably frustrated because we were seeming to finally get to a better place between these two characters. And instead of Mike being upfront about what his problem is, he chooses to shutdown the conversation and act like there’s nothing. Or to put it in another way…

So what exactly is causing Mike to revert to his moody mode?

Right, right, of course. It’s because Sandy’s coming! And just to catch up those of us blessed enough to not remember…

This is Sandy. Mike’s long time long-distance girlfriend and central conflict for BCB for the last…well for pretty much most of BCB at this point. Mike loves her, bordering on the point of obsession. To where most of his actions in BCB can be linked directly to Sandy. We’ll get to that later, but this is all you really need to know right now. Just briefly keep it in mind,

Lucy is surprisingly taking it in stride, or at least trying to be supportive of Mike and Sandy’s relationship. Obviously it does hurt her, but she is trying to make the best of it. Taking what Augustus had said to heart, in accepting Mike and Sandy’s relationship but still trying to be there for Mike. Using that to grow and maybe be a stronger person.

But sadly…this is December.

And nothing is allowed to grow in December.

Well…yes. Partly because we were literally told NINE PAGES AGO!

I believe this is what the kids call…gaslighting. But I prefer to call it

BULLSHIT!

But now we’re getting into it…

Let’s dig into the real hard bullshit of December.

You ready?

I’m ready.

Yes, right. Lucy is a bitch who has absolutely nothing for Mike, and never acted like a friend, or god forbid did something selfless for Mike like oh I don’t know…

Risking her life to try to save you from drowning, when she herself couldn’t swim and knew it could very well lead to her death.

Or what about when she was almost raped, and put literally put herself between you and danger!

TWICE! Wait, what the hell? They changed Confrontation! She’s supposed to say…

Because before mike got pinned he was saying…

That was like an actually cool and bad ass line. One of the best moments in BCB, why would you change it? Why would you change it to something as soft as that? And I’m the guy who wrote a comic where the moral of the story is that you can solve everything through the power of friendship!

But I digress. Was Lucy mean to Mike? Yeah. Did she pick on him a lot in the early chapters? Sure! But here’s the thing that people seem to forget about those early volumes…

Mike was kind of a little shit back then!

Lucy often picked on Mike because he was doing something wrong like trying to treat her like Sandy.

And lest you forget, Mike was more than capable of doing the exact same things!

Yes Lucy picked on Mike, but Mike also gave shit to Lucy. They both were active participants in giving shit to one another, but no it’s not bullying. It’s giving someone shit for doing something stupid, to keep them grounded, it’s a form of support that helps to build someone up not just through violent means, but because you care enough to want them to stop being stupid. And as the saying goes, “A good friend will hold you and support you to tell you everything will be okay no matter what. Your best friend, will kick you in the side and tell you to stop being a pussy and get over it.”

BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS FUCKING DO! THEY DON’T LIFT YOU UP! THEY MAKE YOU PICK YOURSELF UP! AND Y’KNOW WHY MIKE IS THINKING THIS WAY? YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING CHERRY ON TOP OF THIS BULLSHIT CAKE IS?!

Sandy…

Mother…Fucking…Sandy. Up to this point Sandy herself had little to no presence as a person in this story. I mean she had an effect on a lot of things, but as an actual character we never got to see much of her personality outside of one standalone chapter: To the Top which only served to give us a shallow and basic understanding of her character. But even then, as far as actual personality, writing, hobbies, and chemistry we really didn’t get much at all as far as understanding who she is. The only things we knew for certain was that she’s in a long-term long-distance relationship with Mike. She’s a model. She goes to school. And she’s beautiful. That’s it. But that in and of itself doesn’t make Sandy a bad character. I mean for cryin’ out loud, two my favorite characters that I shoe-horn into all my projects are McCain and Carter. And they’re the most one-note characters in this comic! No, the problem with Sandy isn’t that we don’t know anything about her. It’s that despite us knowing nothing about her, Sandy has her fingerprints on almost every fucking conflict in Bittersweet Candy Bowl. And worse, the only purpose she seems to have on the comic is INFLUENCING MIKE! Let me pull some examples…

Mike and Lucy go on an adventure into the city which fleshes out the inner problems in their relationship.

Because Sandy might be there.

Mike and Lucy are starting to act awkward with each other, and it’s making everyone take notice. Why?

Because Mike is delusional about Sandy.

In the chapter directly after that, Mike is now suddenly obnoxiously happy and giddy, why?

Because he finally got to talk with Sandy!

It’s Christmas time, and Tess is having a party and Mike’s coming, why?

BECAUSE OF FUCKING SANDY!

Mike rebuffs Daisy’s advances during the carnival date…why?

Because of Sandy!

Although, to be fair of course there WAS a lot of other things going on in that scene, primarily Daisy being REALLY pushy, and needy. So it’s not JUST because of Sandy. It was because we just weren’t ready for Slut Daisy. The Free Daisy.

Tess is organizing a group vacation trip to Acapulco!

And what’s this? Mike doesn’t want to go? Is it because he thinks Lucy is gonna go and he wants to separate himself from her? Is it because he’s finally woken up and decided to stand up for himself?!

NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT’S BECAUSE OF MOTHER FUCKING SANDY! AND THE WORST PART OF IT ALL, IS THAT NONE OF THESE SCENES ARE EVER DIRECTLY BECAUSE OF SANDY’S ACTIONS AS A PERSON! IT’S LITERALLY JUST BECAUSE SHE EXISTS! YOU COULD MAKE UP ANYTHING ABOUT SANDY, AND SHE WOULD STILL HAVE THE SAME FUCKING IMPACT ON THE STORY THAT SHE HAS HAD UP TO THIS POINT! All that Sandy’s character has been used for is just a means of influencing Mike!

And that’s not a character…that’s a plot device.

And nothing makes that point more clear…than this scene.

We get a scene where Mike is talking with Sandy, and he shows how over and over, Lucy’s jabs and abuses which were played for laughs in Volume 1 apparently were a super serious problem and we should’ve seen them as such. Now as a reader, I didn’t buy that for a fucking second, for reasons I’ve already explained. However, Sandy being on the other side of that long-distance relationship doesn’t fully understand the situation. But still she’s very worried and concerned for Mike, which leads to this.

Sandy making Mike hate Lucy. Some have pointed out that this is actually a good scene. Because here we get to see that Sandy at least cares about Mike. Except that, if you strip away those tears, and all the bullshit. What little characterization we get here, which is shit we already know in Sandy caring about Mike and Lucy’s relationship. Is something we should already know. She’s in a long-term long-distance relationship with Mike SHE FUCKING BETTER CARE ABOUT LUCY! The problem though, is like I said… Sandy isn’t treated like a fucking character. She’s treated like a fucking plot device! If she were an actual character, we should’ve seen her actually have a back and forth with Mike. The whole conversation about Lucy should’ve come up a LONG time ago. Because if she were treated like an actual character with agency…

She would’ve already known this.

You telling me that after how many phone calls, in the time that elapsed between these phone scenes Mike never actually told her about Lucy; the other biggest part of his life?! Did Mike never tell her about the amount of times that Lucy almost died to save his life? Or the amount of times he did the same for her? No! Because that would bring character growth. And we don’t want character growth.

We want to push this narrative! We want to implant these thoughts into Mike. We want him to have a victim complex so that he can do shit like THIS!

We want to push this plot point. And Sandy is the vessel to drive it off the cliff. This is why I fucking hate December. Because worst of all THIS…

Is no longer Mike speaking. This is Sandy’s influence speaking. Now LITERALLY ALL THE FUCKING SHIT THAT MIKE PEDALLED ABOUT NOT WANTING TO BE LUCY’S BABY SITTER AND BULLSHIT, CAN NOW BE ATTRIBUTED TO SANDY INFLUENCING HOW MIKE SEES HIS OWN FRIENDSHIP! And since we don’t have a clear timeframe of where these calls were made, and when exactly Sandy got through to Mike, that means you could pick any time where Mike was being cold or distancing from Lucy and blame it on Sandy! Including…

This scene…

Lest you think characters were the only casualty of December’s nuclear blast, it took with it one of the most emotionally tense and moving chapters of Bittersweet Candy Bowl: A Distance Apart.

I’ve already talked about this chapter in my rant on Golden Hour (aka December 2: homosexual boogaloo) so I’m not gonna get too into how the perspective of this chapter was changed because of December, but I will say that lines like the above now are specifically what’s tainted because of December. No longer is this Mike realizing that Lucy isn’t who he thinks she is, or him realizing that their relationship is not a healthy one on his own. It’s because as he said himself!

It’s Sandy’s fault. Because all she heard about Lucy was the negative, and now all Mike can see is the negative. And this chapter is saying it’s all Sandy’s fault that Mike now has a victim complex and it’s totally fair for him to say what he’s about to say.

WAIT! DID YOU JUST SAY…

JANUARY?!

Hah, nah I’m just fuckin’ with ya. We’re trying to stay focused here, so I’m holding off on the January references. Don’t worry kids, you’re safe for now.

For now…

Let’s unpack this first, because believe it or not we still have a LOT of ground to cover. Specifically, let’s talk about Mike’s glorious plan to leave the table!

God it is taking a lot to not just paste panels from Daisy’s rant in January. You people have no idea… But to summarize, this is fucking stupid at best and manipulative at worst. What Mike is talking about, is selfishly pide-pipering their whole friend group (minus Tess because Tess doesn’t exist anymore) away from Lucy, and he’s betting all of that on the fact that he knows Daisy is still head over heels for him. And what’s absolutely stupid about this fucking idea (which by the way seems to be premeditated so this can’t even be blamed on Sandy) is that if this was Mike’s plan all along. And December didn’t happen, and he did this table move guess what? Sure. Daisy follows Mike, Abbey and Paulo follow Daisy, and David follows Paulo…and then they invite Lucy, because in case you forgot SHE’S THEIR FRIEND TOO! (also I just noticed Mike completely forgot about Susan. That’s kinda fucked up, dude.)

But not as fucked up as this! Seriously, that’s a fucking low blow. And so fucking judgy. I guess we now know where Abbey learned to stoop so low while grand standing on his high horse! And yes I have heard the “muh hormones” and “they’re just KiDs!” excuses. But none of that really explains…

WHY THE FUCK DOES MIKE CARE?! DO YOU SERIOUSLY CARE IF LUCY (as you would put it) LEACHES OFF OF PAULO? HE’S LIKE ONE OF THE TOP OFFENDERS FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY ABUSED YOU! THE MOTHERFUCKER SICCED A GAGGLE OF GIRLS TO BEAT UP ON YOU FOR BEING A “CHEATER”! Or are you worried because if Lucy clings to Paulo, then it ruins your fool-proof plan of going to another table since she’ll follow Paulo? OH NO, WE’VE FOUND A HOLE IN YOUR INGENIOUS PLAN! But speaking of worst offenders…

THIS. LINE. THIS FUCKING LINE! I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what the fuck you think. YOU DO NOT COME BACK FROM SAYING THIS. YOU CAN NOT FUCKING SAY THIS SHIT, AND THEN BE THE GOOD GUY! This is the point where I and many others realized Mike, was too far gone. And yet SOME PEOPLE WILL STILL ARGUE ABOUT THIS SHIT!

Oh you don’t understand, Amazil! He is just a stupid 16 year old ball of emotions and hormones! This has been building up THIS ENTIRE TIME! You even pointed out how Mike’s frustrations have been hinted at since the Vacation Arc! Obviously this has been hinted at for years! You’re just too ignorant to understand what Mike’s doing here! Of course he’s being overly cruel here, he feels backed into a corner, and is facing off against his abuser!

Now listen here, you may be right. I can’t, I hope, and I am grateful that; I don’t fully understand how it feels to be abused for all my life. But what I do know, is that NO ONE. Child, Teenager, or adult. Would fucking stoop that fucking low, and think they have any business. Any chance. Of coming back from that terribly burnt bridge. No one is that fucking ignorant! WHEN YOU BURN A BRIDGE LIKE THAT, WHEN YOU GO THAT FAR, YOU BETTER FUCKING BE READY TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES! AND MIKE AT THIS POINT, SHOULD KNOW VERY WELL WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES MAY INCLUDE! AS THE PERSON WHO KNOWS LUCY MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE ABOUT LUCY, HE SHOULD BE FULLY FUCKING AWARE WHAT SHE IS GOING TO FUCKING DO WHEN TOLD THAT SHE IS A PARASITE AND THAT NO ONE FUCKING LOVES HER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT SHE WAS GOING TO FUCKING DO, MIKE?!

JESUS CHRIST, HE’S LITERALLY USING HER DEEPEST SECRETS AND HIDDEN INSECURITIES THAT ONLY HE KNOWS ABOUT AGAINST HER! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SUPPORT THIS SHIT? AND FURTHERMORE, “Like I’m the only one who cares about you.” TO QUOTE YOU LITERALLY A PAGE AGO!

YOU FUCKING TOLD HER THAT NOBODY LOVES HER. AND THAT SHE’S A FUCKING PARASITE! HOW ARE YOU THIS FUCKING STUPID! HOW CAN YOU STILL THINK THAT YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT? HOW DO OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT? HOW CAN YOU STOOP SO FUCKING LOW, WHILE GRAND STANDING ON YOUR HIGH HORSE?!

Now, imagine if you will, after 2 whole months of reading December. You sit there and you wonder what is going to happen now. What is left to say? What more is Mike going to do? I mean there’s no way this chapter can get any worse! There’s NO WAY that Mike can be any more of an asshole. It’s not possible! And as if to get one last knife twist out of you. To kill the last shred of hope you had, that maybe. Just maybe this could be salvaged, and Mike can’t be worse… Taeshi does this.

….

Y’know, I once heard a story that someone actually killed themselves over BCB.

And I completely believe that. Two whole months we spent, having to watch week after week as this character we cared about. Rips apart the other character we’ve spent so much time learning about, growing with, understanding, and learning to love. And how do you end this chapter?

Grindingly slow. With Lucy throwing up, then eyeing Mike’s phone.

Followed by a nothing page where Mike’s happy.

Another nothing page where Mike goes to his room.

Dialogue that means nothing.

A whole fucking page of Lucy leaving.

MORE FUCKING SNOW

And one last lie.

And that, kids. Is the chapter of December. The most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl. And I hope you’re starting to understand why that is the case. Although, I’m sure a lot of you may have some contentions especially given the newer chapters that have come out. I mean, I often compare bad or infuriating scenes to December. And many may wonder or feel like those chapters are worse than December. I mean sure Mike ripping into Lucy is bad…

But what about the one-sided and almost carbon copy of December in Golden Hour?

Or what about Guest of Honor with it’s Abbey Smash?

And what about the second coming of the Carnival Chapter, with its DISGUSTING implications?

Or lest we all forget the wonderous return of Lucy herself, in Love Again! All of these chapters are fucking terrible in their own right. And it’s debatable how they ruin some characters worse than December. But there’s one very important factor that is lost to us now, that makes December in my eyes worse than any other chapter that Taeshi has put out. One singular thing makes December worse than anything Taeshi has come out with so far… And what is that factor?

Why, it’s TIME my dear reader. Time is what sets December apart from every other chapter. Readers at the time had to spend three whole months waiting for this chapter to end. We stared at each singular page for days, waiting hours on end, hoping that the next page would somehow be better, or give us an out. Instead it got worse and worse and worse. But what also sets it apart from all those other chapters I’ve mentioned is that, unlike Guest of Honor, Golden Hour, or Return to Carnival chapter; December was a very important moment in Bittersweet Candy Bowl. Not only because of how it changed the character, but because it is one of the only times in this fucking comic where the plot actually starts to develop. And we finally get a clear conflict to grasp onto and focus on.

In the chapters that came before December, the conflict of Mike and Lucy was just slowly getting worse and worse. And for the most part it just seemed to stagnate, with Lucy trying to keep her distance from Mike, and Mike constantly giving Lucy the cold shoulder. And everyone else having to deal with that. December was meant to be (and it did succeed in becoming) a bombshell chapter. A big revelation moment where things finally kick into high gear. Like, “Oh man that was brutal!” “What’s gonna happen now? Sandy is coming!” “Lucy just got fucking REKT!” “What is she gonna do?” “Taeshi just dropped the biggest bomb on top of us, where is she gonna take us? How are we going to follow up this momentum?!”

BY RELEASING ONE OF THE LONGEST. MOST NEEDLESS CHAPTERS EVER!

FOURTY EIGHT FUCKING PAGES. ALMOST FOUR MONTHS DEDICATED TO A PLOT POINT THAT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE GIANT NUCLEAR BOMBSHELL THAT WAS JUST DROPPED ON US! And it’s especially needless because the entire point of this chapter is to tell us that Abbey’s mom died. Except that WE ALREADY THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD! Oh you mean this character who all we know about was that she in a terribly abusive marriage, who we have not heard from since Abbey was introduced into the comic, who was in such a terrible state that she left her son and daughter orphaned. You mean the person so fucked up, that the last time we saw them was on a fucking stretcher is…DEAD?! SAY IT AIN’T SO! Y’know, it would’ve actually been more of a twist, and a lot more interesting if we found out ABBEY’S MOM WAS ACTUALLY ALIVE!

INSTEAD OF BUILDING OFF THE FUCKING MOMENTUM THAT YOU JUST SET UP, WE GET STRUNG ALONG FOR FOURTY EIGHT FUCKING PAGES! INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON LUCY, AND USING DECEMBER AS A LAUNCHING POINT TO DRIVE THE FUCKING PLOT, ALL OF THE MOMENTUM IS GROUND TO A FUCKING HALT IN SERVICE OF A PLOT POINT THAT ULTIMATELY DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER! And if you made it through that and was hoping, “okay NOW we can start to get into the actual plot! NOW we can focus on Lucy, and what the aftermath of December is! Well…

youtube

Paulo tries to give a cake to Lucy, and he mostly fails, giving us

NOTHING!

Just beautiful! The one chapter where it would be okay to not give all the attention to Mike and Lucy’s relationship. The one chapter where we could maybe get to see Sandy be a character! Mike X Lucy is fucked, but maybe we can find comfort in Mike X Sandy! Maybe we can have some sweet moments, and strengthen this central love triangle that we’ve been dancing around for all these years! Maybe, just maybe, Sandy can be more than just a fucking plot device!

BUT NOPE! SHE’S JUST THERE TO BE USED SO THAT MIKE CAN REALIZE THAT HE WAS WRONG AND FEEL BAD, SO HE CAN TRY TO MAKE IT UP TO LUCY! TOO BAD IT’S TOO LATE, SO IF YOU WERE LOOKING TO HAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT EITHER FROM LUCY OR SANDY, I’M SORRY BUT YOU GET

TWO BIG HEAPING SERVINGS OF NOTHING!

AND IF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE STARVING FOR CONTENT BEFORE, BRACE YOURSELF FOR A ONE-PAGE CHAPTER THAT GIVES YOU

NOTHING!

AND I HOPE YOU FUCKING LIKE THAT ONE-PAGE BECAUSE YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO LOOK AT IT FOR

FOUR

WHOLE

MONTHS!

Although… to be fair, I think during that hiatus period Taeshi had guest comics and exclusive content to keep us occupied, but you get the point. As for the rest of the chapters…

Paulo breaks up with Jasmine in the most hackneyed fucking way possible, and we get a fake-out of Lucy’s suicide attempt.

We finally get the play chapter, and it teases us with the idea that Lucy and Mike are getting better except that no one falls for it because IT’S IN THE PLAY. AND WE ALL KNOW THAT IT’S JUST AN ACT AND IT’S FUCKING…

youtube

And then Lucy finally attempts suicide and it’s all OFF-SCREEN! THEY KILLED OFF THE MAIN CHARACTER! THE ONE FUCKING BIT THAT WE WERE ALL LOOKING FORWARD TO, AND IT’S OFF-SCREEN!

Do you see what I mean now? December isn’t just a fucking chapter. It’s an arc. The most teeth grindingly slow, and agonizing arc Taeshi ever made! This is why December is and always will be the absolute fucking worst! It’s like Taeshi knew what we wanted and refused to deliver! Instead being content with teasing the readers over and over for almost two years, with the prospect of seeing Lucy go through a depression arc. Instead, we’re focused on literally everyone else and all of Lucy’s inner turmoil, heartbreak, thoughts, and progressions are just hinted at and we’re just left in the dark. We never got to see Lucy in her final moments. What was she doing? What was she thinking? Where was she? How is she doing? We wouldn’t get that information for

Nearly four years! And even then, IT WAS ALSO BULLSHIT! December is like a nuclear warhead of a bombshell that was dropped on us, except instead of going off and blowing us away, sending us to the greater plains. It just leaked radiation everywhere and killed us from the inside slowly. Its carbon footprint can be felt to this very day, we can’t get over December. Because THE COMIC ITSELF CAN NOT GET OVER DECEMBER! People who wanted to see Lucy become a better person, to see her try to get better, get help, or do SOMETHING! Would never get that relief. When I thought about December and how it treated its characters. I felt sorry for all the people who had to read this, who felt for Lucy. Who wanted to see her get better… I felt bad because I knew deep down that we were never going to get that story…

So I did it myself…

Don’t act surprised. You knew I was gonna go there. I literally warned you! There is no way in hell I’m gonna talk about December without bringing up the comic I literally made BECAUSE of December in: January. And this time we’re looking at January as a whole. Because now that you know WHY and WHAT I hate about December, you can start to see why January was made the way it was. I feel the need to explain this, because January still gets a bad rap by people saying that it’s “hate-filled” which it’s not. January is not a death threat , nor is it meant to say “I’m better than you”, it’s not a love note to BCB, it’s a Get Well Soon card. Not necessarily saying that I can do it better, but rather this is what you could’ve done. Whether or not it’s better is up to you to decide. And with that context, you can see why January was written the way it was. And it all starts with one simple change.

Instead of just outright removing December, the only thing I changed was that Mike didn’t get paired with Lucy and throw a fit. It doesn’t spitefully act like December never happened, in fact…

December plays out the exact same way as it did in the canon, just with Susan supplementing for Lucy. So Sandy’s still coming home, Mike’s still pissed at Lucy, and he’s planning on moving to a new table to get away from her. But because Lucy’s not there…

She’s able to fucking do something.

We get to see her try.

We get to see her fail.

We see how Mike’s plan comes to fruition.

We see how things fall apart, even with Lucy’s best efforts.

We see how December still takes its toll.

We get to see her snap out of it, briefly.

We see her at her lowest point.

We see what she’s thinking and why she’s doing what she’s doing.

We see her try to figure out what to do.

We see her picking up the pieces.

We see her take action to improve herself.

We see her getting help.

We see her taking action.

We see her getting better.

We see everyone come together to support her.

We see her at the end of her journey, come to terms with what she’s done. And wanting to improve not only herself, but her friendship with Mike. She shows maturity, empathy, and most importantly GROWTH as a character.

And in the end, the reader never gets to see how Mike and Lucy end up talking things out, but they can rest easy knowing that everything is going to be okay. And if THAT’S hate-filled, I don’t know what the fuck you’d call the canon’s handling of Lucy in the December arc.

The fact that we never got to see Lucy try.

The fact that the comic kept dicking us around, and baiting us with the inevitable.

The fact it KEPT FUCKING BAITING US WITH FALSE HOPE.

The fact we don’t get to even see her at the end of the line. The fact we had to wait three years for her to come back and let us know that she’s even ALIVE!

The fact that when she does comes back, SHE’S A HORRIBLE CUNTY SHELL OF THE PERSON SHE ONCE WAS…

That… is why December is the most infamous chapter in all of Bittersweet Candy Bowl. Not just because of what it did. But because of what it didn’t do. Because it promised the end to Mike and Lucy’s drama one way or another. It promised us that we were going to tackle these issues that Mike brought up in Lucy, but yet… Here we are.

Back to square fucking one. You know what they say…Those who don’t know their history are doomed to repeat it. So you better brush up on your December knowledge, or at least I hope this rant serves as a good refresher. Cause from the looks of it, we’ve been repeating these plot points for almost 10 years…

Y’know I thought I was actually going crazy there for a second. Obsessing and never getting over December for all these years. But now I see. This comic…never moved on from it. We’ve never recovered. We’ve been stuck in December for almost 10 years…

0/10 never forget…

#Bittersweet Candy Bowl #rant #holy shit this pushed the limits of Tumblr

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half-bakedboy · 4 years ago

Note

I know there's only a handful of hours left of femslash February... BUT what about a "The Happiest Season" Clizzy AU? Very random suggestion inspired by no conversations at all. (Also you are great let's be best friends and go to a concert)

Kelly, you wonderful, incredible, perfect human being you. This might be my favorite fic I’ve written this weekend. Obviously, this prompt was inspired by no conversations at all, so you had no idea I would’ve preferred Abby with Riley. So you would definitely not expect that Abby is Clary and Riley is Izzy in this fic. So ENJOY IT. YOU’RE GREAT. AND I WOULD LOVE TO BE BEST FRIENDS. 🥺💜

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Clary wandered the streets of the small New York town alone, wishing that the cold air would quell the annoyance bubbling inside of her. She wanted so badly to just be with Heidi while she explored the town she grew up in, but instead, she was on her own, doing anything she could to stay away from the house she had thought she was invited to as herself.

She wasn’t supposed to be Clary Fray; an art student, out and proud lesbian, strong and brave feminist. No, she was supposed to be Clarissa; a business student, as heterosexual as they come, and an orphan who relied on Heidi for a family. She should have left the moment Heidi asked her to be anything other than herself, but she wanted to make their relationship work. She had never been so in love with someone before, or so she thought.

“Hey,” a vaguely familiar voice knocked Clary from her thoughts and when she glanced up from the snow-wet cement, Heidi’s childhood girlfriend, Izzy, stood in front of her.

“Uh, hi,” Clary said nervously, wiping beneath her eyes to ensure it wasn’t obvious she was crying over her dinner a few moments earlier.

“We meet again,” Izzy teased, widening her eyes playfully. Clary huffed out a laugh, grateful that she still had the ability to do so, and nodded slowly.

“Yeah,” Clary agreed lamely.

“No Heidi?” Izzy asked and Clary nodded quickly, gulping down the leftover emotion in her throat.

“No, uh, she’s with her family? I’m gonna meet up with her in a little bit!” Clary said overly enthusiastically because she couldn’t really say anything else without sounding completely pathetic. She glanced down at the bag Izzy was holding and changed the subject easily, “What’s that?”

“Oh, it’s--” Izzy cut herself off and glared at Clary with a teasing glint in her eye. “I can’t tell you that because it’s for the Yankee Swap,” Izzy said, hiding the bag behind her back and out of sight.

“Oh, you go to that?” Clary asked. It wasn’t that she cared that Heidi’s childhood love was still so close with her girlfriend, but it definitely seemed strange that Clary didn’t know that before the trip.

“Yeah, our families get together every year, unfortunately,” Izzy said with a roll of her eyes. She seemed to notice who she was speaking to and corrected, “I mean, it’s like the best party of the year!” Clary couldn’t help but laugh again and Izzy laughed along with her, both of them nervously rocking back and forth on their heels. It was like neither of them wanted to go their separate ways, but Clary knew they couldn’t stay.

“I’m, um, really glad I ran into you, actually,” Clary began in mock seriousness, “cause I’m having this thing where if I stick my finger in my eye, it, like, really hurts.” She finished with a joking smile on her face. The one conversation they had prior revolved around people asking Izzy for ridiculous medical advice the second they found out she was a doctor so Clary had to play around with her a bit. She thought for a moment that Izzy hadn’t remembered their talk until she replied.

“Oh, hmm. That sounds like a classic case of,” Izzy looked up in thought as if scanning through years of textbooks in her mind before glaring back at Clary, “contact stupiditis. Because it’s a stupid thing to do.”

“Wow,” Clary said, mock impressed as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Yeah, very dangerous. Once you get to the finger-poking stage, you’re pretty much on your deathbed,” Izzy said, looking almost regretfully at Clary.

Giggles bubbled out of her again and before Clary could think about it, she blurted, “I would really like to drink some alcohol. Do you know where I could do that?” Izzy considered the question and glanced up at the sky before her gaze met Clary’s again.

“Yes, but only if I can tag along?” Clary nodded because there was no way she was drinking alone again.

The last place Clary expected the small bumpkin town in upstate New York to have was a bar complete with drag queens. When they walked in, Clary grinned at the two women up on stage with their makeup impeccably done and their wigs perfectly placed. She had always appreciated good art and drag makeup definitely counted as such. They were playing what sounded like joyful Christmas music but Clary was pretty sure the lyrics were probably raunchy.

“What can I get you both?” The bartender said as they walked up to the counter.

“I’ll have a whiskey and coke,” Izzy shouted with a wink and Clary held up two fingers to tack on a duplicate drink for herself. She wasn’t sure what she was in the mood for, but whiskey sounded like the best way to drown her sorrows and warm her frozen body. They both watched the queens perform, laughing and clapping along to their wonderful songs, the tension easing from Clary’s shoulders every passing minute.

“Alright, so, you have to tell me,” Izzy began once the bartender handed them their drinks and gestured to the newly open booth a few feet away.

“What do I have to tell you?” Clary asked as Izzy held out a hand, gesturing for Clary to head over first. They sat down together on the same side of the booth so they could both see the performers and Izzy glanced at Clary consideringly.

“What are you doing here with Heidi?” Izzy asked with no hesitation in her voice. Clary choked on her drink and sputtering, grabbed at the napkins on the table. Before she could get a hold of them, Izzy held her chin in her grasp and wiped at her face gently with her thumb, a teasing smile on her lips.

“I can’t believe you just asked that!” Clary mumbled, not making a move to pull away from Izzy even if she knew she should have. Izzy looked so good from up close. Heidi’s eyeliner was always overdone and she never wore any lipstick, but Izzy was the exact opposite. There was barely any makeup on her eyes, just mascara darkening her already stunning brown eyes, and dark red lipstick drawn flawlessly on her supple lips. Still, Clary was drawn to her beauty in almost every way she had presented it.

Izzy laughed and leaned back, sipping her own drink before she said, “She must have told you that I was a straight-to-the-point kinda girl. You and I are alike in more ways than one.” Clary looked away, unsure how to tell Izzy that there wasn’t much Heidi told her besides the bare minimum to prepare her for their eventual meeting during the trip. She was supposed to hate Izzy on principle, but she found that it wasn’t that easy.

“I mean…” Clary trailed off and sipped her drink slowly, already starting to feel the effects of the alcohol easing her nerves. She stared over at the drag queens, wishing it was enough to drop their current subject, but she should have known Izzy would push it.

“She--” Izzy gaped at Clary who held back her laughter by pressing her lips together. “What has she told you about me?” Izzy asked. Clary couldn’t blame her. If she had her ex’s current girlfriend in reach during her last relationship, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from getting all the dirty details.

“How are we alike?” Clary countered, but when Izzy said nothing further, she sighed. “She told me that you were her first girlfriend in high school,” Clary offered, “that’s about it.” Izzy seemed to consider the lack of information for a moment and chewed on her bottom lip like she wanted to say something. Clary prompted, “Is there more?”

“Yeah, a little,” Izzy said unhelpfully. She continued to stare at Clary and after a few moments, she sighed as if relenting to Clary’s pleading gaze. Clary was glad her pity was clearly evident on her face. “We were inseparable as kids. Best friends turned lovers turned almost enemies in the matter of a few years.”

“Enemies?” Clary asked. When Izzy glanced away, Clary reached out to grab onto her hand, lacing their fingers together in what could have been seen as a friendly gesture if she hadn’t hidden them underneath the table.

Izzy nodded and continued, “We kept it a secret - obviously - and when one of our others friends found out, Heidi, she, uh--” Clary squeezed Izzy’s hand tightly, reassuringly, needing to hear the story almost as much as it seemed Izzy needed to share it. “She wasn’t ready and that was okay for me, but she told everyone I was bi. She tried to tell me later that the only reason she said anything was because she thought I was ready to come out, but--”

“But it should’ve been your choice, not hers,” Clary finished. All Izzy did was nod in acceptance, but when Clary said nothing further, she spoke again.

“Everyone found out. I mean, small town high school meant everyone knew everyone’s business, you know? And they were so awful. I mean, I had my siblings - Alec and Jace, you haven’t met them yet - around to beat up anyone who made a noise about it, but that didn’t stop me from knowing what was happening. Kids are cruel,” Izzy finished, holding her glass up for a cheers as if pretending the past didn’t hurt her as much as was evident on her face.

Clary clanged their glasses together and muttered, “I’m sorry. I-- I’m really sorry.” She knew it couldn’t make much of a difference, but she still felt like she needed to apologize for Heidi. Having the choice to come out on your own terms taken away was horrible, especially when it was by someone a person thought they loved.

“Yeah, so…” Izzy cleared her throat like the conversation had gotten just a bit too serious for her to handle, “what I meant is that we’re alike because we were - or are in your case - in love with someone who’s too afraid to show the world who they are and brings us down with them.” The word hit Clary like a ton of bricks, freezing her heart and causing her stomach to tighten. As if sensing her discomfort, Izzy squeezed Clary’s hand before she added, “But hey, that was a long time ago and--”

“No,” Clary interrupted, removing her hand from Izzy’s. “It might have been a long time ago for you, but that insight just proves that Heidi is exactly the kind of person she’s been proving herself to be this entire trip,” Clary explained, tossing back the rest of her drink just as one of the drag queens wandered over to their booth.

“What are we celebrating, gorgeous?” She asked, twirling a strand of Clary’s fiery hair in her perfectly manicured finger.

“I am celebrating the end of my unhappy and unhealthy relationship,” Clary cheered, glancing over at Izzy who shook her head with a wide grin on her face. Izzy gulped down the rest of her drink in solidarity and laced their fingers together again. Izzy’s hand felt like it was meant to fit in hers and Clary wouldn’t dare to let go.

“And you?” The performer asked, leaning across the table and resting her very real looking breasts on Clary’s arms. She laughed loudly in pure enjoyment and felt the alcohol heating her skin and muddling her brain already. It was the first time in the entire trip she felt pure joy and it was all because of Izzy.

“I’m celebrating being able to take this beautiful woman home with me tonight without any qualms, if she’ll let me,” Izzy tacked on, shooting a questioning glance at Clary. The shyness in her chocolate eyes had Clary’s heart warming out of its frozen state and her stomach erupting with butterflies as they gazed at one another.

Clary hoped that the passionate kiss she pressed to Izzy’s lips was enough of a resounding yes.

Send me WLW prompts for Femslash February

#clizzy #clary fray #isabelle lightwood #shadowhunters #femslash february #happiest season au #my writing #AHHHH THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE AKJSDFKL;AS #OMFG #THANK YOU FOR THIS AKLSDJFAL;S #ALSO YOURE THE BEST #AND IM HAPPY I MET YOU!!!#villiageidiot #answered #prompts

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ff-imagines · 4 years ago

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General headcanons: Boston lobster

Ugh... he’s so pretty.... I’m gonna cry....

• Phew ok

• Getting this asshole to like you isn’t actually that complicated

• He’s not really ever gotten praise, care, or positive attention.

• He’s mainly had to be either a tool, or he’s had to be a leader.

• His brothers and sisters see him as invincible, but you know better.

• So you treat him better.

• At first he’s very hostile towards you, your kindness makes him more so because he genuinely believes you’re just trying to get his guard down so you can hurt him.

• Ofc he’s wrong. The fact that you’re persistent about being nice to him proves that much.

• Seeing how you treat others with the same kindness is what really gets his attention though.

• That surprisingly includes how you treat other humans, not just food souls.

• He might not like humans but he knows how you treat others attests greatly to you as a person.

• You prove to be respectful when it’s required, as well as when it’s not.

• He hates that he admires you for that.

• I think that Boston would really start to catch feelings really hard once he’s seen you at your lowest.

• They say you never truly know someone till you’ve seen them at their worst

• It’s also a chance to return the support that you’ve given him

• He doesn’t like humans, but he also doesn’t like feeling indebted

• He’s actually really good at giving advice, he’s seen and experienced just about every kind of pain anyone can endure, chances are that he knows your struggle intimately.

• He speaks softly, and lowers himself, trying to make you feel less intimidated by the big scary lobster man who normally wants to break your kneecaps

• It will most likely be you who makes a move first because falling in love with a human is already hurting his pride, admitting it? Unprompted?? Lmao, no.

• Dates with him are away from people.

• Doesn’t always mean you’re stuck at home, he loves stargazing!

• But…. takeout and Netflix are always very solid plans.

• Look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn’t enjoy soap operas, I dare you.

• You turn one on and he bickers about it being stupid and then it’s an hour later and hes on the edge of his seat worried about whether Samantha will accept rich guy Rodgers marriage proposal or will she run off with her true love joseph

• He also loves…

• Gardening!

• He’s actually got a surprising amount of skill!

• He’d die before he told anyone but he loves growing flowers the most

• He loves daffodils, red roses, and dahlias!

• Hes drawn to moonflowers as well, theres something ethereal about watching them open in the moonlight.

• Tried to grow a lotus outside once, almost gave up after one of the pads started wilting but then he noticed something

• A little frog chillin out on one of the pads

• He felt he needed to at least try to keep the plant alive because he didn’t want to get rid of this frogs new house so

• He gave it his all and now the frog has a very nice looking home!

• He hasn’t named it yet but he does call him “hoppy” with a level of affection in his voice

• You once caught him talking to the frog after you heard his deep threatening voice say “so, hoppy, how does the water feel today?”

• Made you swear on your fucking life not to tell anyone

• He’d really love to grow something with you, honestly.

• It’s a very peaceful hobby and he feels a great amount of pride in watching the plants flourish.

• Will 100% throw dirt at you while gardening

• Boston is very very pleasant to cuddle with during winter!

• You just… have to catch him first

• He will most likely be basking face first in snow without a shirt bc “He just got too hot”

• Getting him to cuddle is a task bc… you’re very warm and he’s already always sweating buckets

• He LOVES the cold but is sad because all his outdoor plants die :(

• (Yes he brought the lotus inside, hoppy stays on his lotus pads but sometimes you catch him chillin out on Boston’s nightstand)

• Will cuddle if you pout hard enough

• He’s pretty tall so it’s very easy to tangle yourself against his chest.

• He might grumble and complain for the first few minutes but honestly he adores the affection.

• After he’s done pretending to be mad he settles against you by keeping his legs tangled with yours and tucking your head under his chin, running his fingers through your hair.

• Doesn't like being little spoon. Even when he’s upset and needing comfort he likes being in control.

• Doesn't like when you’re out of sight, and he’s easily jealous.

• Whenever he feels the person you’re talking to is getting just a little too friendly he’ll straight up pick you up and walk away with you

• His little moments of jealousy are the only times you can take control, giving him affection in order to reassure him and remind him you love him too.

• Words aren’t easy for him. He appreciates someone he can be in a room with, and just bask in their company, not saying much, just relaxing in comfortable silence.

• He’s a man of action, affection actually comes surprisingly easy once he’s sure you’re serious about loving him and not gonna bite.

• If you touch his antennae his left shoulder twitches

• He also gets mad at u lmao

• If you ever “accidentally” pull them he lets out a loud squeak

• It doesn’t hurt him, feels like when you hit your funny bone

• He will chase you if you even try lmao

• His face is very expressive when he sleeps, you can tell quickly when he’s having a good dream and when he’s not

• He’s… normally not.

• Running your fingers along his collarbone is weirdly comforting to him, so if his face is scrunched up in his sleep you can lightly trace along his chest and ease him without waking him

• Sometimes Boston will have random moments where he seems distant.

• Not necessarily mean, but he’s very clearly distracted.

• Honestly just sitting nearby him, not pushing for conversation as much as just making him aware that you’re here for him, that’s what comforts him.

• He'll come to you in an hour or two. The longer you’re with him, the more he shares.

• Sometimes it’s worries about his brothers and sisters, sometimes it’s venting about memories from the past, sometimes he’s just not feeling as strong as usual.

• Sometimes it’s about you, how he worries about you more than anyone he’s ever met.

• Boston is a big scary mean old man. But he cares about you more than life itself.

• He hates to admit that he wouldn’t have it any other way.

#maybe i should write a full fic ab hoppy bc peaceful and calm blobster just....#fills the void in my soul #food fantasy #food fantasy x reader #ff boston lobster #boston lobster #ff boston lobster x reader #boston lobster x reader

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ai-katsuu · 4 years ago

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

So @cookieek posted on the discord sever a cute set of prompts that I answered there so I’d like to do this as well! credits to @lamiahypnosia for making these <3

1. I actually wrote them to say I love you at the end of their story where Jack's curse is broken, but I changed it to some months after since I felt that was too soon. But I do have this clip where it's implied but they don't outright say it! -

Jack rolled his eyes as she laughed. He took her hand and looked her directly in the eye, “Audrey, I love how different you are from me. I love how...we’re from two completely different backgrounds, how we first met and I sort of didn’t like you at first.” Audrey was about to say something before he held his free hand up and smiled in assurance, “I love how witty you are, how you never miss a chance to say something funny under your breath, even though no one hears it. How you care for Snow White and the rest of the F7 like family even though you just met them. How you understood me even though...you’ve never been in my shoes. This was more than enough to make me hopelessly attracted to you.” he said “I am so, so” he put emphasis on his words, “happy you’re still in my life. If I had to go through those woods again to save you, go through my curse again to meet you....I would happily do it all over again.

“You’re a true partner and…” he looked sideways and gave a sheepish smile, “I’m hoping we could become much, much, more than that.”

Audrey looked at him and instinctively laced her fingers with his, Jack was quick to reciprocate the action as their eyes locked with the other. “I would want that as well…” she mumbled. Jack mumbled something under his breath that Audrey didn’t quite hear, but it didn’t matter as he smiled soon after and leaned in forward.

2. First date, hmm probably somewhere on the outskirts of Fairy tale Island. Since they went on an adventure I'm sure just to diffuse any lingering awkwardness Audrey would want to go exploring since that's when they were most comfortable with each other.

3. Yup! They live in the White Palace with the other partners and while there are maids and staff, I'd say it's Jack who does most of the cleaning in their room since Audrey never,,,,really had a room to begin with

4. Jack oh god, he can't stand Audrey's lack of self-care and room maintenance. She never really understood why one needs to brush their hair everyday?? Or other hygiene stuff? Like if you're clothes are clean then why do you need to wash them? Jack is annoyed a lot by that. For Audrey it isn't really a pet peeve but it's the opposite, she doesn't understand why Jack is so consistent with several face masks and perfumes

5. Audrey probably? They're both mature in their own sense and immature at separate times, but Audrey seems like the one to pull them out of any trouble if there is anything suspicious going on (she has been on her toes since she was younger after all!)

6. Audrey too! She's been outside of Fairy Tale Island and had been to many countries. Since she wasn't a prince or princess, she's had tons of time of explore and do fun activities. Jack of course has his own idea of fun which she appreciates^^

7. HERE WE GO

Merlin and Snow - "They pretty tight." "I love how Jack was finally able to find love from another person!"

Pino and Gretel - "Judging from all the stories she told me before I met you guys, they look like they've been through a lot in just 8 months?" "You have no idea haha. Audrey's pretty fun to see outside of the workshop."

Noki and Goldie - "They're fine. Jack has stopped bothering me about making exquisite stuff for him so I appreciate that." "I find them pretty cute! I love exchanging Valentine's gift ideas with Jack! He's pretty good at them you know?"

Kio and Peter Pan - "I love Audrey. She's pretty fun to play pranks on or work on them together. We both have had time to spend on the outside world so we make a lot of pop-culture references others don't get." "Jack and Audrey are probably the most photogenic couple I've had taken pictures of, but nothing compared Arthur and Gwen. Now those two look like they'd step out of a portrait"

Hans and Briar - "Not gonna lie. I had a bit of trouble with Audrey when I first came to the White Palace, I always felt like she was judging me,,,well I was too but still. But we're all good now! I love it when we go on missions together!" "Jack was my best friend first but it's nice to talk her about him. Whenever she needs advice she comes to me so that's something I have pride on!"

Arthur and Gwen - "THE AMOUNT OF TIMES JACK HAS TAUNTED ME THAT I WAS THE LAST ONE TO BREAK MY CUR-" "I love them! They're very nice and sweet!"(edited)

8. When Jack proposed to Audrey? It was through a big surpise and she had no idea it was coming bc SO many people were involved and he played it like a heist.

9. ARTHUR WANTS TO VOMIT. Jack kept on taunting him that he was the second to break his curse and not Arthur and he made sure Arthur saw it. But discreetly of course and nothing too much. Mostly just light hand holding, hugs in the hallway, leaning on her shoulder. Overall they're moderate.

10. Audrey hates getting jealous but she does. It's an internal thing and something she wants to get rid of. She trusts Jack with all her heart but she knows he could've gotten someone else as the richest prince in FT Island so that makes her a bit insecure. Jack on the other hand? No not really. The only time you see him jealous is when Frosts visits because Audrey told him prior that she didn't have a lot of people she was close to so Jack sort of felt special. So you can imagine he felt a little hurt when he found out he wasn't the only one who knew most of her feelings, secrets etc.

#red shoes and the 7 dwarfs #red shoes and the seven dwarfs #red shoes movie #red shoes #red shoes audrey #red shoes jack #red shoes ever after #rsatsd #rsat7d

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1167

surveys by emptyliketheocean

Brand of cigarettes you smoke? I don’t smoke cigarettes, or at least I never buy my own packs.

Should you be trusted with a person's life? Idk, that’s for them to decide.

How's your life in general? I lost two relatives from Covid this week alone. So, not very dandy. Still in shock. Waiting for it to all finally crash down so I can grieve and mourn properly. Scared of more losses and hoping there aren’t any more to come.

Have you ever put lipstick on anything besides lips? I don’t wear makeup, but when my friends have put some on me in the past there were a couple of times they dabbed lipsticks on my cheeks.

Have you ever picked a fight you knew you would lose? Metaphorically speaking, yeah. I don’t get into physical fights.

What's something you think is crazy about the world? The concept of centibillionaires and the fact that there are multiple ones who exist.

What do you think about religion? I think the only upside to it is how it has helped save lives for some and how it serves as a guide for others to spread good in the world. Like if your religion has given you purpose and strength, that’s great. But ultimately, I’m not a fan and I most definitely don’t think religion is necessary to be a kind person. In fact, I think it works the opposite...most of the homophobes, misogynists, pro-lifers, and sexists I know are from the Christian faith. Cringe.

What about when religion causes violence? Well I definitely have a bone to pick with this lol. The only reason the Philippines is predominantly Catholic today is precisely that when the Spanish arrived, they used violence to forcingly convert Filipinos - who were then living in peace with their own culture, government, and religion system - to Christianity. And now we’re ‘celebrating’ 500 years of Christianity in the country this year, which was always so off to me because why are we celebrating colonization lol????????????? But anyway, yeah, that is another issue I have with religion. I want nothing to do with it.

What color is one of your hats? I have an off-white summer hat but I have literally never used it in public because it’s huge and it’s 100% going to draw attention.

How do you feel? My shoulders are sore and I’m feeling slightly irritated because of them. I’m also starting to get a bit hungry.

Have you ever gotten in trouble for laughing? A few times.

Something that makes you smile: Free food.

What do you think about surveys with lyrics as the title? Surveys with random lyrics usually end up being the ones with interesting questions, so I actually am more likely to check it out.

Do you have any clothes with small holes in them? Maybe one or two.

Do you think the way you live is really okay? I think I am already quite fortunate with what I have considering what others don’t, so it’s definitely been a while since I have complained about anything during this whole Covid situation, living-situation-wise. Even though we’ve lost a few things, like having to sell one of our cars and with my mom being retrenched, we still get by and have a roof over our heads with working water and electricity and a stocked pantry; and I make enough money to hand a portion of it to my parents twice a month and still treat myself with things I want. There is nothing to bitch about.

Do you know anyone other than a cop who has ever owned a cop car? No.

Have you ever felt fire? No, but electricity, yes. I’ve been shocked before but that was also my own fault lol.

Have you ever seen a person light themselves on fire? Jesus no.

Have you ever used crutches when you didn't need them? Yes. I used to horse around with Katreen’s crutches when she injured her legs in 3rd grade, when she wasn’t using them.

If you had 15 beers you would be: Dead.

Are you as bored as I am? No, I’m good.

Why are you taking this survey? I feel like it.

What would you say if a person asked you why your face was so messed up? “How do you want me to react?” Easiest way to shut a person up and passive aggressively tell them to watch what they say.

What would you do if your first love asked you back out? Be very confused and ask why the sudden decision.

What's your home life like? It’s very routine, due to having to stay at home. I work a 9–6 on weekdays, follow that up with dinner, and use a few hours to scroll through social media until it’s time to sleep. Then on weekends I use the free time to recharge by taking surveys and watch videos of whoever and whatever I’m interested in at the moment. Just waiting for all of this to blow over so I can finally do the things I’m meant to be doing.

Do you have a talent that you don't do anything with? I don’t write a lot for myself these days. I do write frequently for work, which is great - press releases, event scripts, all your PR essentials - but I don’t get stimulated enough since everything is written in the same tone. I really should pick up a notebook and pen soon...

Do you know anyone that is a lesbian? Yes. Not that she’s in my life anymore.

What do you think about your mom? I think she tries her best. But I wish she were more emotionally in touch. And that she starts being politically correct.

What do you think about your dad? He’s worked hard and continues to, and I appreciate all his efforts; and I can’t wait to be able to buy him all the things he wants.

Which parent do you respect the most? Who do you think? Hahahaha.

Is there anything someone could lie to you about that you couldn't forgive? I suppose, like cheating.

Who do you love unconditionally? My two best friends.

Pick an element. Oooookay? Zirconium.

Have you ever wasted a great amount of time and felt horrible about it? It always feels that way on weekends these days because there’s only so much that can be done while stuck at home because of Covid. But I do try to justify it by telling myself I already work too hard during weekdays so it’s ok to bum around at home and do nothing, because using the time to recharge is still productive.

What is something that's been said about you that isn't true? My mom has said a lot of hurtful things directed towards me that I internalized for a very long time, but I’ve since gained the strength to no longer let those words get to me.

Who do you want with you when you're scared? Anyone who can be calm while I’m not.

Know any bands that not many people have heard of? Many of the punk bands I listen to are virtually unknown on this side of the planet.

Do you have any advice for people in general? Don’t be racist.

What's something you like to do in the summer? Complain about the heat.

What's something you like to do in the winter? We don’t get winter here, but I’ve always thought I would love snow if I ever saw it, and that I would probably make a lot of snow angels and play snowball fights.

What do you think about marijuana? I don’t have a strong opinion on it as it’s still a very taboo topic where I’m from and I’ve also been lacking on research. I do know people who use it for recreational purposes and I’ve never been against that.

Do you wish anyone death? Just politicians.

Have you ever felt like you weren't getting anywhere with a person? Yes, it felt that way for a long time. I just was too afraid of confrontation to do anything about it.

What do you feel for the person you first fell in love with? Resentment and a whole lot of nothing.

Where are you? I’m in my bedroom.

Are you waiting for something? Hmm, not necessarily.

Who is someone you just think has a hole in their brain? People who still think Covid is a hoax.

A candy you like? Gummy anything.

Does any part of your body hurt at the moment? My shoulders and neck, hence the neck pillow I’ve since put on while taking this.

Explain how you got the last bruise you had. I honestly have no clue. I currently have a big black circle on my right thigh that just suddenly showed up, and I can’t recall a time I must’ve hit it somewhere.

Are you tired? A little bit because I got up as soon as I woke up, but I wanted to maximize my free time this Sunday before another work week starts. Last Friday would be our last non-working holiday in a while and we’re not getting another one until August. :(

Explain how you got a scar you have. A distant cousin hurled a glass jar towards me when I was 3, during a family reunion. He initially went for my eye because I guess he wanted to blind me, but he missed and ended up hitting my eyebrow instead. My mom has since banned him from talking to me ever since, and I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him since the incident.

Have you ever owned anything illegal? Illegal copies of movies I’ve torrented, sure.

What do you dream about? The most random scenarios. I’ll get the occasional nightmare, but those only happen when I’m going through a period of depression.

Do you ever daydream? Not anymore these days.

How do you feel about vegetarians? I don’t really think anything of them. There are days I’ll particularly feel for them because there aren’t a lot of restaurants with good vegetarian options where I live, though.

A fruit you like: Avocado, in very limited options.

Have you ever seen a person eat a bug? Only bugs that were already prepared a certain way and meant to be eaten; but I’ve never seen a person that just picked up a bug off the ground and went straight to chewing. I imagine I would freak out and gag.

Something you worry about too much: How much is in my bank account.

How do you feel about smoking? I hate how the smell clings to your clothes and all your things when you’ve been smoking or when you’ve been around people who smoke. I also wince when people pose with their cigarettes just to look badass and cool; but as someone who’s since picked up vaping as a habit, my once-intense hatred for smoking and smokers has since changed lol.

If you had to move out of state, where would you go? I would move to a big city. Somewhere noisier and with a lot of lights and foot traffic and general activity.

What is your favorite vampire-related movie? The Twilight Saga hahahahahaha

Is there a person you keep coming back to? My best friends, I guess?

If you're listening to music...Give me a lyric from the song you're listening to. I’m not listening to anything.

#survey #surveys

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pinkhairedlily · 3 years ago

Text

goodbye to the clearest eyes

pair: kim namjoon/park jimin | minjoon, rating: G

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33675553

dropping a minjoon fic here as well (because why not)! :>

Namjoon glances at his phone for the seventeenth time that night, the digital clock blinking back 23:14 at him, and his screen flashing low battery warning since the 20 percent mark. He waits again for ten more minutes, closing his eyes and losing himself in the muted sound of the club on the street across and the passing honks of ubers. A ping stirs him up.

Disappointed but not surprised. He knows he set himself up for this.

“Joon hi. Hope you thought better - like before. I actually got a ride. Lucky huh. So anyway, please don’t mind my earlier texts. See you later.” Ironically, his phone thinks it’s the most opportune time to shut down, zero percent, no more warning. He softly thumps his head on the steering wheel, but his fingers are tightly gripping around it.

“I should stop this.” This is the same sentence he repeats for every conquest Jin conjures up every Friday of the week. He sighs, enraged but tired, and he starts the ignition.

Then his passenger side opens and comes in an angel.

“Excuse me?”

It’s Namjoon’s first expression. Blonde hair, lopsided smile that reaches his eyes, plump and pouty lips, flushed cheeks, and fair skin. He waves to his friends goodbye and reaches for the seatbelt.

He misses it and he chuckles. He tries again and almost gets it. Again, another hearty chuckle.

“You’re hammered,” Namjoon says. “But this is not an uber.”

The blonde man fits the seatbelt in successfully in his third try. He looks up at Namjoon, and he is disarmed by bright hazelnut irises which disappear in a wide smile. “Look I managed to wear my seatbelt.” His fingers, dainty fingers, meet each other to give himself a small, silent clap.

Namjoon’s heart is thumping. What is this is a new modus of a local gang? Using an angel-faced to lure innocents into their deaths? He clears his throat and tries to capture the blonde’s attention. “I would appreciate it if you get out of my car right now.”

Yeah, especially since I just got my license at 30 years old. Because Jin had his car towed.

The blonde is heaving and Namjoon knows what comes next. He opens the windows and gets ready to give him a paper bag stashed in his glove compartment. It’s actually reserved for Jin, waiting for its purpose for several weeks now, but at least a single piece gets to see the light for tonight.

The passenger waves away his offer of a vomit bag. He just lets his head loll on the side, eyes shut, smile still plastered on his cherubic face. Namjoon rakes his raven locks with his hand, and he decides then to fuck it. He’s in the neighborhood, he has an available car. He will do one kind deed today and bring this angel safely to his home.

But yeah fuck me too because my phone’s basically on coma and I’m geographically challenged. No choice then. “Hey you, I’m sorry but I don’t have the maps on. I can’t drive you.”

The blonde tries to sit up straight with his eyes still closed. “Can you first drive around? I don’t want to go home yet.”

This is a red flag, Namjoon knows. Far too many dreadful things have been happening nowadays and everyone is hardly to be trusted even when they have the most beautiful countenance he has ever seen. But he had too many losses this year, too many times he held out chances for someone who won’t return them back, too many hopes for beginnings but he got indefinite endings instead. Yeah, fuck it.

“Can you move away from the window so I can close it?” Namjoon asks.

“Can you leave my side open? I want to feel the cold air against my face,” the man replies. Now that Namjoon’s looking at him intently, he notices he must be in his early 20s, not more than 25 probably.

He stuffs the paper bag on his passenger’s dainty fingers (which thankfully he holds onto because dry cleaning would be a bitch) and drives towards the road he frequents when he gets stood up.

“It’s kinda cold.” His blonde locks are swaying with the wind.

Namjoon chuckles and checks his monitor. “Well it’s the transition between fall and winter. Do you want me to close it now?”

“No, not really. I love the cold. It makes my cheeks redder. It makes me aware of the blood in my body.”

“I like this season too although I’m not a fan of snowing. I’d rather walk than drive a car when it’s winter.” Namjoon steals a glance. “Looks like you really enjoyed tonight. Flushed and rosy cheeks are also good signs of life. Would you believe it’s a criteria males would look for in females they want for marriage and reproduction? Of course, this was back when patriarchy was still 100 percent practiced.”

Namjoon takes a right turn amid the dense canopy of hickory trees and into the tunnel. Now would be the most advantageous time for his passenger to kill him.

“Yes, I enjoyed tonight,” the blonde remarks. His hazelnut eyes are now open and trained on the road. “My friends and colleagues organized a farewell party.”

“Changing jobs?” Namjoon breathes slowly, waiting for the blonde to pull out a gun or knife.

“Nope, not really. I’m going away.”

Nothing comes for Namjoon’s life, and he feels the bubble of laughter in his throat. “Another city or abroad?”

His hazelnut eyes roll to the ceiling, and he ponders for a whole minute. “Yeah, abroad. That’s what I told them.”

The tunnel is empty, but Namjoon keeps a safe driving speed on the rightmost lane. Occasionally, a sports car would speed past them, the tires screeching with the echoes. He wonders if he should keep up the conversation, but gauging the other person’s responses, it seems like they don’t mind. “Oh that must be fun. I also went abroad after university, straight to Belgium. It felt freeing that time, but I realized just recently that I was probably running away.”

There he goes again, spilling his guts to a stranger at midnight in the middle of a tunnel. Namjoon’s mind now wonders if this blonde isn’t afraid of him. He’s bigger than this passenger, more muscular, and definitely taller. He can easily subdue him and drop him in the ocean.

“It’s somewhere I have to go to,” he replies. “I’ve never been to Belgium. Chocolates must be good there.”

“The roads are very bike friendly, if you’re curious.” Namjoon remembers the awe when he first set foot in Brussels. No annoying car honks, no bulky vehicles on the streets. Just people biking, in tune with nature, giving way to each other, the tiny bells ringing.

“Ah I also never learned how to bike. How disappointing.”

“It’s a nice skill to have, keeps you active, and obviously it decreases your carbon footprint.”

His passenger laughs like it’s a trill of a nightingale. “You have such a weird thought process!”

Namjoon’s voice wavers, part embarrassed, part socially anxious. He’s never good in dealing with extroverts. “Is it bad?”

The blonde shakes his head. “I’m saying it’s unique. Anyway, I won’t worry much about my carbon footprint.”

Namjoon clucks his tongue against his mouth. “You must be a mindful consumer.”

“Hmm, I’m not really sure. I guess I am?” His little pinky finger rests on the side of his lip. “But it gives me comfort that I’m alleviating Mother Earth’s illness somehow.”

They leave the tunnel and the smell of salt air arrests both of their senses. Namjoon opens the window on his side as well and breathes in the ocean. He normally frequents this area during sunsets, a few minutes when twilight sets in before it finally transitions to the night sky. His existence hovers in between those changes, all beautiful and all passing. It dawns on him that he took a plunge when he decided to drive here at this time. “Do you mind some music?”

“No, go ahead!”

Namjoon opens his radio, and the first notes of 400 Lux drifts from the speakers. The blonde lets an arm out on touches the air on the skin of his fingers. Namjoon notices this and mirrors him. The ocean greets them after a few seconds, quiet in its vastness despite the rhythmic buoy of the waves and the sound they make when they crash against the sandy shore.

“I’d like to visit many more places,” his companion continues. “Like Jeju Island. My grandmother plants the sweetest tangerines, and my ex-boyfriend would often come help out during harvest season. But I broke up with him just recently and cut off all ties.”

“Sorry about the ex-boyfriend,” Namjoon interjects. “He must be missing the tangerines a lot.”

“Let’s hope that’s the only thing he’ll be missing. By the time he’d miss me, he must have moved on already.”

The road comes a bit closer to the waters, and the wind drifts over some of the sea spray to them as the waves break against the side of the cliffs. “And here you are, sounding like you already miss him.”

“I won’t deny it.” He pauses and takes a deep breath. “I found that it’s healthy to acknowledge your feelings than keep them all repressed so I’m honoring our bond by honoring the grief.”

“Sounds like good advice.” The guilt creeps up on Namjoon, but he ignores this for a moment. Maybe he can take this bit, store it, and use it in the future. It’s good advice anyway.

“I also want to visit Disneyland. I’ve never been to one. Couldn’t afford it. But I hate roller coasters and pirate ships, anything that has to do with heights. Although, if given the chance, I would try all of them at once even if I vomit after.”

“The lines are freakishly long.”

“How much do you think would it cost if I rent the whole place for a day?”

Namjoon laughs. “Pretty sure it would have at least six zeroes.”

“Oh I thought it would have seven.” They both break into guffaws. After a few seconds, the blonde continues his musing. “I would also love to visit my parents and see them again every day.”

“Can’t you do it now?”

The man stretched his arms in front of him and wiggles in his chair. “I’ll actually drop by tomorrow, spend some time before I truly go.”

Namjoon slowly turns on a blind curve, weighing the last sentence in his mind. “I moved out when I was 18 into the university dorms, and then I got my own apartment after graduation. Most of us go through that linear phase, don’t you think – growing out of our childhood homes and leaving the ‘youth’ behind.”

“You don’t even look like 30 yet.”

“I’m flattered. And you don’t look like you’re over 20s.”

“I get that a lot.” The blonde chuckles, not bothering to hide another set of blush on his cheeks. Under the dim light of the moon, Namjoon briefly notices the redness in his ears.

“But wouldn’t it be nice to come back to it, to that safe bubble when life becomes too overwhelming?” Somehow, Namjoon also feels a hot flush on his skin despite the icy air that has set in their atmosphere.

“We both know there’s no bubble anymore when we go back.”

“I guess it will take you a long time to come back.”

The passenger nods, his hazelnut eyes leaving the road to focus on the ocean. “A very, very, very long time. I may not see them again after I go.”

He must be moving for good, Namjoon thinks. Or he’s cutting off ties. Like I did so many years ago.

“Hey, can we stop over for water? I’m thirsty.”

Namjoon spots the 24/7 convenience store on the side of the road. He remembers this is a junction close to a fishing port hence the all-around operations. He parks on the empty lot and waits for the blonde to finish buying his needs. He comes back with four bottles of water and two bowls of already cooked instant ramen. “Would you like to eat by the shore?”

Sure why not in the middle of almost-winter? Namjoon follows him nonetheless, even sitting on the damp sand cross legged with ramen in between his hands. They slurp the noodles in silence punctuated by the crashing waves and occasional noise of the seagulls and the horn of incoming fishing fleets. They do not talk, too engrossed with the hot food and spicy broth.

Finally finished, they combine their garbage in what was supposed to be the passenger’s vomit bag. Namjoon initially walks to the direction of his car, but the passenger decides to walk along the shore for the minute, barefoot, his black leather mules secured in his other hand.

“Would you look at that? It’s finally used,” Namjoon jokingly remarks about the vomit bag.

The blonde chuckles at his lame attempt to lighten the mood. Namjoon finally notices the muted loss in his startlingly beautiful hazelnut eyes, and the layers of sadness covered up by his songbird laughter, but he knows it’s not his place to ask.

“Have you ever thought about death?” The way he asked it was so blunt, so deadpan, so out of the blue, and so far removed from his lively persona that Namjoon interacted with in the vehicle.

It catches him off guard, of course. He never really delved into it, not when he was too busy running away from his feelings for his college best friend, not when he came back and tried to rekindle that friendship and connection again, not when he was too busy wondering if it was already too late.

He was too busy facing the consequences of his life. “In passing, maybe.”

The blonde walks further into the water, the waves reaching to his knees. “What do you think happens after?”

“I personally don’t believe in afterlife or in God or in heaven.” Namjoon scratches the back of his neck, aware that his being agnostic would sometimes earn an agitated reaction from people. “It just ends. You become food for the detritus, a fertilizer for the plants.”

“Lessening the carbon footprint?” the blonde brings it up again, and this earns a hearty chuckle from Namjoon.

“We could put it like that. You contribute to nutrient cycling.”

“That’s a nice way of describing rotten flesh being eaten by worms.” He turns towards the expanse of the ocean with his eyes closed and that constant smile that seems to hold him together throughout this night. “I….visualize dying as a new birth, a chance of being someone again, a reincarnation. Even if I live as a butterfly with gray wings, a disowned black cat because of superstition, a whale with an alien frequency, a deer hunted in the open season, I’ll welcome it because it gives me another day, another life. It gives me another chance to feel the cold air on my face, the hot flush on my nose and ears, the water between my toes. Another chance to meet people, another chance to fall in love and break and fall all over again, another chance to live.”

The whole monologue untethers Namjoon. It is as if the sand underneath him started shifting.

The blonde turns his attention on the sky, stars invisible behind the fluffy clouds which signal incoming rain. As he silently watches them move across the space, Namjoon follows the change in his expression, the surrender of the smile, and the explosion of dullness in his irises.

“I have a tumor in my brain. Cancer has progressed too far and too deep to consider chemotherapy. Doctor gave me three months at most.”

Namjoon feels like he needs the vomit bag more. He’s tongue tied and numb all over. He feels cold all over, but he doesn’t know if he should blame the season. All the sounds are drowned by a ringing in his head, and he barely hears the blonde come up to him and tap his shoulder with his smile back again.

“I want to go home now. Thank you for driving me tonight.”

---

Now in the safe enclave of his apartment with a fully charged phone, Namjoon composes a long message intended for Jin, his apologies running all the way back since college. An apology for not responding to his confession, an apology for running away, an apology for coming back and expecting everything is the same.

And an ultimatum of a definite conclusion – whether he can let him in or cut him off from his life – because he has spent a long time living in between.

The breakdown comes after he hits send, choking sobs hitched in his throat. A mourning for a blonde stranger.

---

“Have a taste of this.” A grandmother in her 90s offers a peeled tangerine to Namjoon.

He bites through the piece of fruit and the sweetness hits him in full. He relishes the burst of flavor in his mouth with his eyes closed albeit it’s actually a ruse to keep the flood of tears at bay. You were right, they’re the sweetest tangerines. “I think I’ll order a hundred kilos.”

“That’s too much, my son.” The old woman laughs and playfully slaps him on the arm. “So how did you find your orchard tour a while ago?”

“I can’t help but hear a songbird in the area. Must be coming from the nearby forest.”

“Ah, it started singing last year. Since then, we’ve always had a year-round harvest. He must be my lucky charm.”

#bts fic #bts fanfic #minjoon #minimoni #namjoon x jimin

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