#adult man. he told everyone he works at the MECHANIC STORE which was originally a genuine misspeak on my part but i leaned into it

[mildmayfoxe]

the fun thing about playing make-believe with your friends is that sometimes instead of playing your regular dnd session you instead end up playing a convoluted speed dating game in-universe where you all get so excited about the npcs you’ve made specifically for this purpose and the dates you’re going on in the game in the game that you make plans to play two times in the same week instead of the regular once or twice a month you usually manage

[paravillintiniay]

I’m gonna make a really really long vent post and put it under a read more because I’ve had a rough month and I’m like emotionally bleeding out and I don’t know what to do so idk maybe I’ll put a bandaid on it with this maybe not

I used to think that once I became an adult that I would become independent and no longer be a chronic misser outer and not have to rely on people who clearly do not care about me or my wants as much and that I’d be able to move on, but every year that passes by it feels farther and farther from my reach and even more shameful because everyone I talk to that I can’t speak openly to (extended family, neighbors, acquaintances that I’m not close to) thinks I am like a TOTAL loser because I’m 24 and can’t drive and have never had a consistent job and didn’t go to school and have nothing going for me but I can’t just be like “yeah well my parents won’t teach me to drive and I have to beg my mom for weeks to get her to take me to target when I need something and I don’t have any friends in town so what the fuck do you suggest I do” because it’s kind of a hostile trauma dump but also to them the answer is simple it’s just “take some initiative, stop being lazy” but no one ever taught me how to do that or encouraged independence and every time I ever did take initiative I would get shot down. They don’t get that my parents are so controlling that I CAN’T just Uber to the dmv and get my license because the consequences to that are great, and we don’t have public transit and our community isn’t walkable so I can’t just walk to a job.

Eventually I developed a sort of apathy as a defense mechanism and I just stopped caring about anything because caring about things only meant that I’d be disappointed but the problem is apathy only gets you so far because then people think they can walk all over you.

I just want to feel important. Not to my friends, I love my friends I care about my friends I know they care about me but they can only do so much from several states away. I want my family to care about me, but when my birthday fell on Mother’s Day we all decided “oh yeah we aren’t going to do anything because all the restaurants will be crowded” so instead *my mom and I* spent 2.5 hours cooking lunch, then my brother showed up 2.5 hours later than he said he would with his kids, handed me a card with a visa giftcard in it, and we all sat on the couch not doing anything with the tv off for a few hours not doing anything. I asked if he wanted to go to a concert with me and he blew me off. Then he left. The original plan was to instead go out on monday (Mother’s Day was on sunday) and take me to the book store and run some errands but my mom told me Sunday night “I’m really tired let’s do Tuesday” and then Tuesday night came and I asked if we could do Wednesday and my mom was like “well (grandma) has a thing on Thursday and dad has a thing on Friday and we had a thing we were going to do this weekend” so I said “oh so Wednesday is the only day that works huh?” To which the response was “we’ll see.” We did not go to the book store on Wednesday. We still have not gone to the book store a week later and of course, the ENTIRE week this week just has to be sooo busy we just caaaant make time. I’m tired of having to beg my mommy to spend at most two hours of her time doing something for me. I’m tired of her making it a big deal when I need or want to go somewhere when she’s the one who never taught me to drive. I made my own birthday cake. I just want to feel important. I just. Want to feel like I matter. That isn’t even touching on the fact that one of my brothers completely forgot/didn’t acknowledge my birthday. Thanks man. It’s not even the birthday that gets to me because I don’t expect anything it’s just the fact that they ASK me what I want to do and when I tell them they blow me off or ignore me or do something else that directly inconveniences me. I just want to feel like I matter. Like my wants and needs are valid.

I want to be independent. I’m tired of being a chronic misser outter I’m tired of not being able to do fun things just because no one wants to do them with me and I don’t have the means to do them by myself. It’s gotten to the point where everyone I know is moving on in life without me in so many important life milestone ways and I know it’s only a matter of time before I am simply alone. Before no one has time for me because that’s a natural part of life, you grow up you get a job you get married have kids but not for me. Never for me.

And you know what? My nephew was born late last year and I feel so much guilt for saying this because I love him so much but FUCK that kid. Everyone in my family forgot to be a there for me but now there’s a baby 🥺🥺🥺 he need so much love and time and attention 🥺🥺 you’ve had so many holidays and birthdays April you can be selfless and sacrifice for him 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I’m a grandparent now so I’m gonna drop everythinf whenever your brother asks and spend time with my grandbaby 🥺🥺🥺🥺 but what about ME? when am I going to get the support that I need? On top of not having very many friends or a support system I now no longer have my older brother to hang out with and go see movies or concerts with sometimes and it just. Sucks. I’m so tired.

I said the other day that my mental health feels like when you’re playing a survival game and you’re starving so the screen starts flashing and shaking and your health is constantly ticking down and you don’t have any food so you keep slapping bandages on to try to keep yourself alive until you can find food but you only ever find scraps and berries that keep you sustained for about 30 seconds before you’re starving and dying again. I can hang out with my friends and be happy and joyful but the second that’s over I’m back to bleeding out. Every time my parents rush to the aid of someone else and blow me off is like a stab to the gut. Every time my parents say “it’s the weekend I’m not leaving the house” but are just SOOOO busy during the week they can’t help me with what I need. Every time I miss something that’s important to me and time sensitive just because I can’t drive. I don’t know how to keep going. I’m tired of feeling like such a loser all the time. I just. Want. To feel. Important.

[tornrose24]

Day-O (a CU Beetlejuice AU one shot)

While I don’t want to do a full on CU Beetlejuice fic, this scene is impossible to pass up, especially considering how the musical added to the original story to begin with. (So this combines both the musical and the movie’s version of this scene... and you might need to listen to the musical version of this scene if you can’t find a bootleg/luck out in seeing it on stage).

The Beetlejuice AU was originally proposed by @jackie-sugarskull  and Esme belongs to @princeasimdiya12 .

(Contains some cursing. Note to those with a trigger warning: the suicide joke from the original film was included here).

A group of people gathered around in the school’s cafeteria to decide the building’s fate. It had been arranged so that they had a table right in the center of the room, yet the food and drinks were both well above cafeteria food standards. On one end was former student turned politician Erica along with Esme, the school’s current Principal. On the other was former student turned top scientist  Melvin, along with his colleague Professor Poopypants. In between were potential investors and the school district superintendent Mr. Pointe who never seemed to take a stand on the current issues.

“So we hope that your support and donations would not only keep the school open, but encourage support for extra curricular activities as well as better supplies, new recess equipment, text books, and learning conditions.” Erica concluded as Edith took goblets of cocktail shrimp of the cart to give to everyone else as they ate deviled eggs and drank wine.

“Except nowadays, science and mathematics is demanding more bodies for the expanding career options in that area.” Melvin countered. “Trying to keep Jerome Horowitz alive as it is would be like heading towards suicide at this rate.”

“And you know what they say,” Poopypants cracked. “Those who commit suicide become civil servants in the after life.” This earned a round of chuckles from everyone except Erica, Esme, or Edith. The latter in particular winced at this. “Then again, who knows how many children will end up as civil servants as adults?”

“Oh that reminds me,” Melvin glanced to Edith and smirked at her. She had recently changed from her dark clothes and into a flattering lemon yellow dress, and her hair was pinned back from her face, so she was a bit more noticeable than usual. “One of our old classmates claims that the ‘ghosts’ of this school don’t approve of my ideas. Apparently they’re with Erica’s side of things.” This caused Edith to freeze up and turn around.

“B-but it’s true!” Edith admitted. “They think school should be about fun and enjoying childhood–!”

“Next she’ll tell us the ghosts are our old classmates who died all those years ago!” Melvin laughed and some others joined in. Erica frowned at Edith, but only Esme showed an interest in what the woman had to say–it made her think back to all those pranks and those mysterious comics that happened without any explanation.

“Anyway, I don’t want to talk about something you can’t prove without science, and I don’t mean the junk machines on those ghost adventure shows!” Melvin continued. “I think I’d rather talk about–DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY–O!” Without any warning, he bursted into singing with his arms bursting out into the air.

All eyes glanced on in confusion except for Edith, who waited patiently. Melvin realized what he just did and grabbed his neck as his eyes widened in shock.

“Sorry, what?” Erica raised an eyebrow.

“Well, that’s uh... quite a subject.” Mr. Pointe blinked.

“Uh, sorry!” Melvin let out a nervous laugh. “I don’t know where that came from! I meant–ME SAY DAY ME SAY DAY ME SAY DAY-O!” He bursted into song again like he was a big time singer at a performance.

“Is this going somewhere?” An investor asked.

Melvin panicked. It was like he was unable to control himself! “L-listen!” He pleaded. “I just feel like–DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN’ GO HOME!” He felt compelled to jump out of his spot and sing once more. The moment he regained control of himself, he panicked. “What is happening to me?!”

Most everyone let out nervous giggling. “Well, Melvin.” Poopypants chuckled. “I guess you mean to tell us–WORK ALL NIGHT TO THE DRINK OF RUM!” He suddenly leapt onto his spot on the bench and threw his arms out as he sang next and, as if on cue, the music from the player nearby switched from soft jazz to a classic upbeat piece of music.

“DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN’ GO HOME!” Everyone except Edith suddenly got out of their spots and started to sing.

“Stack Banana ‘til de mornin’ come!” Melvin sang as his body moved in time to the music. “DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN’ GO HOME!” Everyone sang in response.

No one knew what was going on. It was as if something overtook them as they all found themselves dancing in time to the music while singing to a song that very few of them even knew. Yet no one saw what Edith saw when she heard childish giggling and she looked up with a smile. Floating in the air were the spirits of two children, with each one waving their hands as if conducting or moving them like they were controlling a puppet.

“I can’t wait until the finale!” Harold laughed.

“I know!” George happily replied as Edith continued to watch with a huge smile.

Everyone danced around behind their seats. All but three adults, with Erica and Esme shooting each other confused looks while Edith herself hummed to the delightful song. It then got to a point where everyone was bending over and sticking their rear ends out and shaking them around in time to the music, which made both boys laugh even harder.

“Day, me say day-o! Daylight come and me wan’ go home!”

“Daylight come and me wan’ go home!”

After awhile, the music came to an end and they were all forced to sit down, yet there was one more surprise in store for Melvin. The shrimp in his cocktail suddenly turned into a monstrous hand that reached up, causing everyone to shout or gasp and Melvin screamed but was unable to jump out of his seat in time as the hand grabbed his face and pulled him into the table, all the while his screaming increased.

George and Harold laughed even harder. “There’s no way he’s going to turn this place into a snore-fest now!” Harold gleefully declared.

“SOMEONE GET THIS THING OFF OF MY FACE!” Melvin screamed. With a lazy wave of the hand, George freed the red head, who pulled back with a gasp as all eyes stared in concern at him.

“Wh-what was that?!” He demanded.

“It’s like I said.” Edith told Melvin. “They don’t want you to turn this place into your kind of school. If you don’t want to have this happen again, you better do what Erica wants.” Erica herself was stunned at this to the point that she was unable to immediately say anything. Yet when she was ready to ask Edith what on earth she was doing, Melvin grinned.

“So you’re saying that there are real ghosts here?!” He then turned to Poopypants “You saw that all right?! No parlor tricks, mechanisms or weird gases, right?! Forget funding this stupid place, I’m going to buy it off the school district’s hands!”



“What?” Erica and Esme asked in confusion.

“What?” Edith asked with dread.

“What?!” George and Harold shrieked.

“I can’t get the school to be what I want it to be, but a location that’s haunted?! Do you have any idea how much that could help out with research and inventing new things?! Screw the school, I’m turning this place into a new research center!”


“WHAT?!” George and Harold screamed.

“That’s an excellent idea!” Poopypants grinned as he rubbed his hands. “I’m already thinking of the possibilities such supernatural energy can grant us!”

“It’ll make Piqua more than just a city of narrow minded simpletons!” Melvin added.

“No!” Esme yelled. “Mr. Pointe, you can’t allow this!” She pleaded to the school’s Super Intendant, but he gave her a nervous smile. “Where will the children go?!”

“W–w–well, I don’t see how this place can be safe with ghosts roaming around them.” Mr. Pointe stammered and let out a sheepish smile.

“It wasn’t any better without them!” Erica roared as Edith tried to speak her own thoughts, but was overpowered by the politician. “Do you have any idea how much of a danger zone this place was becoming over the years?!”

“Erica, I like you a lot, but this place was below standards in academics since day one!” Melvin butted in. “What good’ll it do to keep it open any longer?!”

“You can’t tear this place down!” Edith finally protested as loudly as she could. “The ghosts don’t want that! None of the children will want that! You–!”
 “No one cares what you say Edith, you aren’t holding the money or power like us!” Melvin snapped at Edith. “Can’t you get it through your simple, messy-haired, four year college degree head?! Don’t you realize how much money we’d all get from this?! Or are you too depressed over mommy and daddy kicking the bucket to even bother taking care of yourself?! This is reality, so either get on board with life or move along!”

Edith felt as if she was slapped across the face as Melvin went back to the others to talk of his plans. She felt Erica’s disapproving look as well as those from the people who were trying to save the school and she barely saw the boys when they now stood before her with worried looks.

“Edith?!” Harold pleaded. “Look, we didn’t realize Melvin would do this! We should have seen it coming!”


“We can still fix this!” George added.

“How?! Nothing works! Apparently pranking everyone isn’t enough! Do you have any ideas, Edith?!” The blonde turned to the woman. “Edith?” He asked in concern when he saw the woman staring at the ground with her face barely in view.

When her parents died, everyone ignored her to the point that she might as well have been invisible. When she tried to help support the school, no one listened to her ideas and expected her to be a ‘yes man.’ When she finally succeeded in that, it blew up in her face and she was still being treated like she didn’t really matter.

“You want to do something about all of this? Then all you got to do is say my name!”

“There’s still one thing I can do.” She realized as she remembered him from earlier. “Three times spoken, unbroken, right?”

“My real name. The one that hag cursed when she cursed me. Say it three times spoken, unbroken.”

The boys instantly understood what she meant.

“Edith no!” George protested as he and Harold began to panic.

“Benjamin.” She quietly spoke, and no one else heard her say it except the two boys who knew what was coming and flinched the moment he arrived.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!”

Edith heard some movement and was startled to see the familiar large figure standing right beside her. He still wore the same black and white stripped suit, the toupee was still black with touches of green and yellow, his skin was still a pale lavender as if his body lacked any air, and his shark like smile was wide with glee. “I knew you’d come around and see things my way! I swear you won’t regret this!”

“Edith stop!” Harold pleaded, earning him a dirty look from the adult ghost.

“Benjamin.” She spoke louder which went unheard over the arguing of the other adults. The ghost grinned even more as he adjusted his sleeves.

“That’s it! That’s it!” He was like a kid at Christmas about ready to explode with anticipation as his hideous grin only widened as he coaxed her. “We’re going to have a lot of fun! Come on! Just give me one! MORE!” He looked at her pointedly.

“EDITH NO!”

“DON’T SAY HIS NAME!”

She took a breath. She was tired of being invisible–tired of being treated like a joke–she wanted to be heard!

“BENJAMIN!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, causing all eyes to turn towards her in confusion, while those of the boys were filled with dread, and those of the ghost-demon’s were filled with satisfaction as he became surrounded by white light and smoke.

“It’s showtime!” He grinned as he threw this hands out.

The music came to a halt and everything went dark, causing almost everyone to scream in confusion and blindly stumble around. Moments later, the lighting of the room came on and became an ominous green as Krupp stood before them all.

“Can anyone see me?!” He demanded.

His response was a series of screams at the sight of the unexpected, hideous looking being.

“Now that’s what I want to hear!” He gave them an evil grin and rubbed his hands together. “God I missed that sound!”


“What the hell is that thing?!” One of the investors screamed and pointed.

“Yeah, who the hell invited you?!” Melvin demanded.

“I did!” All eyes turned to Edith as she felt a surge of confidence that she hadn’t felt in quite awhile. “I warned you and you didn’t listen!” Each word made her feel stronger until she was practically shouting. “You all never listened to me! Never took me seriously! And now this is what you get!”

“Yeah nerd, this is what you get!” Krupp sneered at Sneedly. “And I’m someone whose about ready to have a game I’d like to call ‘instant trauma!’” He threw his hands into the air and suddenly chaos began to ensue.

FIre bursted from the ground as if out of nowhere in random parts of the room, causing the gusts to scream and flee. Those who managed to get to the doors were only further startled by what appeared to be ominous glowing monsters with green eyes, mouths and sharp teeth that proceeded to chase after them (had they looked again, they would of seen that they were just possessed toilets). Anyone who tried to escape into the safety of the kitchen found more fire bursting from the stoves, causing them to run away.

“THIS WAS A MISTAKE!” Poopypants shrieked as he and Melvin tried to pull at some doors that refused to budge.

“Hey Little Man!” The scientist felt something crawl up on his back. He turned around to see a puppet version of Krupp with unsettlingly realistic looking eyes looming over his shoulder. “Ya’ want to play with me?!”

“NIEN!” Poopypants screamed in German and ran off as he tried to take the hideous abomination off him, but it only laughed with sadistic glee and tightened its hold on him.

“HEY DON’T RUN OFF!” Melvin screamed at Poopypants when suddenly he found himself getting hoisted into the air by something long and thick. He screamed and thrashed until suddenly he came face to face with a snake like monster that had Krupp’s head attached to it.

“Feeling like having this place all to yourself now, Sneedly?” He sneered at him. The man screamed and the snake like out a laugh as he thrashed him back and forth through the air.

“Ok that’s it, they get it!” George angrily yelled at the snake as he and Harold tried to approach him. “You can stop now!”

“Ah shut it, you two no longer have the power around here anymore!” The dead adult sneered at them, stopping them in their tracks. “Why don’t you two go to detention in the Neitherworld? You’re in for a long overdue visit!”

“Oh like heck we’ll go!” Harold yelled back, though neither he and George saw a piece of chalk draw a circled on the ground around them.

“WELL TOO BAD, YOU’RE GOING ANYWAY!” The snake snapped as the ground opened up under the boys and they were sent screaming through it as all the other guests were attacked by more supernatural elements.

“SOMEONE HELP ME!” Melvin shrieked.

“PUT HIM DOWN!” The snake turned his head around to see Erica with Esme standing right behind her. The latter looked like she was going to faint and she stammered out prayers in Spanish, but the other just stared at the abomination before her in disbelief.

“Yeah, no.” She shook her head as Melvin screamed. Not satisfied with her reaction, the snake threw Melvin into Erica and grinned as the man screamed the whole way until he crashed into her.

The pandemonium grew worse as everyone found themselves getting chased down or screaming for their lives as things latched onto them, yet the only one who stayed calm was Edith who found herself not horrified. There was a strange, oddly enjoyable catharsis in seeing most of these people finally taken down several pegs.

“And now I’d like to play a little game I call–RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” Her diabolical assistant’s voice boomed over them all.

She watched as all the creatures and all the fire chased the others out through the doors–none of them ever realizing she wasn’t among them–and they slammed shut behind them, causing everything to vanish and for the silence to fall as everything returned to normal as if nothing ever happened.

“They’re gone.” Edith’s stunned voice broke the silence. Realization kicked in. “You  made them leave the school. You made them listen to me!” She let out an amazed laugh as Krupp–back in his ‘normal’ appearance–walked up to her with a pleased grin.

Seeing her smile–knowing that he made her happy–delighted him (and made him feel a little strange, but in a good way). “Yup! Looks like we aren’t invisible anymore!” He declared and hung an arm around her shoulders.

And that’s it–just something I felt like working at once in awhile.

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/a-massive-explosion-detected-in-ophiuchus/

A Massive Explosion Detected in Ophiuchus

A Massive Explosion Detected in Ophiuchus

ByMahala’s Astrology

Ophiuchus has held a special fascination in the Heavens for many people as the thirteenth sign of the zodiac. Here we have an image of a healer with two serpents representing the male and female forces which are the mirror of the Creator’s divine blueprint of life.

In my own explorations of Ophiuchus, I have felt him as a holographic representation of Moses holding the serpents and witnessing the burning bush. You might recall from the bible that Moses had a stutter and had also killed a man – you might say an unlikely candidate to be a primary prophet of God. It is in this part of his journey that God shows him two miracles – his staff turning to serpents and also the burning bush which doesn’t burn, to convince Moses to follow His will. As a result of Moses trusting God he is eventually able to liberate the Hebrew people from Egypt. This story has many metaphoric resonances for our time and if you haven’t looked at it as an adult delve into its profound mysteries.

The Goddess Asteroid Hygeia in my journey also connects to Ophiuchus. Hygeia was the daughter of Asclepius and again the symbol of the two serpents is connected to both figures. Hygiea, as the feminine counterpart, represents ancient lineage of healing that connects to sleep, dreams and altered brain wave states such as sound healing.

The BBC released this story of the huge explosion on the 22nd February 2020 – I’m not sure of the exact date it was discovered but given the numerology this is certainly a key date in which its impact filtered into our Earthly consciousness. 22 is the number in the Gene Keys which relates to the Opening of the Seven Seals. It coincided with New Moon in Pisces conjunct Neptune in the days that followed.

Supernova’s have been known to release incredible new information to human beings. For example, Human Design is said to have come from the Supernova of 1987 – the year of Harmonic Convergence. Many wonderful political events followed such as the Berlin Wall coming down and the end of Apartheid. The system of the Gene Keys then emerged from Human Design and is a system I myself follow and am infinitely fascinated by as it is all about unlocking the potential for light within our DNA.

It is a struggle to find harmony at the moment but that is I feel the essence of the work. In the post-election depression in the UK many people on the more progressive end have completely withdrawn from the media and politics – perhaps not such a bad thing. It is a fight sometimes to reach for love for the ‘other’ voters and for authorities who seem hell bent on harming both vulnerable people and the environment. The new government has started their rule with deporting many people from the Caribbean who have lived here all their lives. There is a hostility towards other Europeans, for example one commentator said how we can all go back to enjoying shopping again once other European’s have left. That is certainly not how I feel, I celebrate living in a diverse humanity. Britain like America is a split society at this time and the parallels are striking,

The BBC and media are also under attack and much like Apartheid South Africa, there are moves to control exactly what the media can and cannot say. Despite this though, the Prophetic side of me hears God whispering hope, knows that Christ is right here – is us all – for those who have ears to hear.

I recently discovered a wonderful audio book of an interview with Brother Gregg who runs an awesome project called Home Boys in Los Angeles, and the Buddhist teacher Pema Chodrin, who I often feel saved my life in the years I was an adoptive mother. The audio book is called Creating a Culture of Tenderness and by the end of listening to it I was right in that place of harmony. The job is to stay there!

Back to the explosion in Ophiuchus that was so enormous at first astronomers dismissed that it could be an explosion at all. It is 5 times bigger than anything previously seen and is more akin to the Big Bang happening again. Using low frequency radio wave telescopes astronomers have figured it out.

What does this mean for humanity? God works in mysterious ways, but I feel sure that perhaps many of us are receiving this download right now. We can certainly tune into it and see what emerges from that ‘void’ space. What has been birthed?

Below is an excerpt from the jovianarchive.comwebsite

Ra Uru Hu was not your traditional mystic: “I was conditioned to believe that science fiction was a genre of literature, that mystical revelation was simply a more antiquated form of the same, and that God, if not dead, was most likely a concept. On the evening of January 3, 1987, all that changed.” Previously a sceptic who didn’t believe in the mystical or even follow astrology, living as a hermit on the island of Ibiza, Ra’s experience changed him dramatically. He spent the next 23 years becoming the world-renowned messenger of the penetratingly accurate, immensely detailed Human Design System, which describes the mechanics of our being.

According to the source of the Human Design System, “The Voice” originated from a supernova – the death of a star. Scientists named it 1987A. This supernova’s last breath bombarded our planet with subatomic particles that transmitted the entire system into Ra Uru Hu, and seeded all of us with its information. One of the first things it told Ra was that the big bang was our universes conception point, and it has yet to be born. (My words – could this be the birth?)

Here is a link to the original BBC report https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-51669384.

Here is a link to the Gene Keys web site https://genekeys.com.

By Alison Dhuanna

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[ruffoverthinksthings]

Jane and carlos ship meme can't remember if I already asked for this

You haven’t.

1.Whois the most affectionate?:

Carlos.

Afterlearning that showing affection and vulnerability isn’t somethingto be avoided at all costs, and more so, not being victimized andtaken advantage of by others that just reinforce his Isle-sourcedbeliefs, he just goes all out on showing his friends, hispseudo-family, and especially Jane as much love and affection as hecan.

2.Bigspoon/Little spoon?:

Theyalternate, depending on who’s having the worse day, the worse panicattack, or in the case that they’ve both suffered equally sucky andterrible days, who Dude or their current pet dog/s decides to snuggleup to.

3.Mostcommon argument?:

Carlos’scientific projects, and what he can or can not work on, at home orin the office.

Aftergetting access to proper education, professional mentorship,communication with his fellow inventor peers, scholarships, researchgrants, and most importantly, a lifetime membership at the HandyDandy Hardware store franchise, sometimes even the laws of physicsaren’t enough to limit Carlos’ trying to make his ideas areality.

As he borrows from Adam Savage, “I reject your reality, and substitute my own!”

4.Favoritenon-sexual activity?:

Discussionof their days, what happened, and what will be happening.

Janeenjoys the way Carlos lights up when discussing his latest project,results, and activities, even if sometimes her incredibly advancedthought process and infallible memory can’t keep up with him, andCarlos enjoys knowing that he’s serving as the sympathetic,attentive ear for whenever Jane needs to unload, and boy, does shehave some plenty interesting stories to tell, even if they are rants.

They’reboth all too used to being ignored, or outright being told to shutup, that their issues and concerns were less important than someoneelse’s—the most common culprits were Cruella, and of course,Audrey.

It’sREALLY nice to have someone who just up and listens, no questionsasked.

5.Whois most likely to carry the other?:

Jane.

Carlosheavily relies on mathematics, physics, and Judo whenever he has todo anything physical. And however frail Jane’s mortal body lookslike, she can easily override the “limiters” and becomesuperhumanly strong.

6.Whatis their favorite feature of their partner’s?:

Janereally enjoys Carlos’ energy and sheer enthusiasm when he gets intosomething he really, really, really enjoys, such as dogs,science projects, or some other sort of achievement like an amazingblock in a friendly, non-professional Tourney game with friends.

Carlosloves Jane’s eyes, the one thing that she doesn’t—can’t,really—de-age or attempt to hide just how old, how experienced, andhow many things she has seen over her immortal existence, good, bad,and everything in between.

7.What’sthe first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings forthe other?:

Youcan watch this whole series in Descendants 2. I really don’tagree with many of the writer’s decisions and how they executed it,but I’m too lazy and tired to think up of an entirely differentseries of them getting together.

8.Nicknames?& if so, how did they originate?:

“Dr.de Vil” after Carlos officially gets his doctorate in MechanicalEngineering, “My Little Mad Scientist” because of all of hiscrazy, zany experiments, and “Fae’s Best Friend” when he onceasked, “If dogs are man’s best friend, what does that make me toyou?”

“BabyJane” as an affectionate, playful nickname, “Doggy Godmother”because of how experienced and skilled she is with taking care ofdogs, and “Blue” when Jane explicitly asked him to make up aspecial nickname that only he could use.

9.Whoworries the most?:

Jane.

Carloshas learned that sometimes, there’s really nothing you can do butface whatever impending unpleasantness is coming your way, and thatall the fretting and hypothesizing in the world is better spentactually doing something, objectively and definitively finding outhow a decision/preparations/experiment will turn out.

Thataside, he’s mortal, worrying takes up a lot of his inherentlylimited energy, and Jane has no such constraints.

10.Whoremembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?:

Jane.Infallible Faerie Memory, baby.

11.Whotops?:

Theyswitch, but Jane takes this role the most.

12.Whoinitiates kisses?:

Carlos.See No. 1.

13.Whoreaches for the other’s hand first?:

Carlos.

14.Whokisses the hardest?:

Jane.Initiation might be difficult and awkward for him, but bridging theinitial gap is kind of like opening the floodgates of affection,love, and messy, slobbery tongue-action.

15.Whowakes up first?:

Jane,by virtue of rarely, if ever actually sleeping, and only for a fewhours if she does.

16.Whowants to stay in bed just a little longer?:

Carlos.All that flurry of activity and thinking in a short span of timeequates to a LOT of forced, necessary downtime, and unlike hissmartphone, you can’t expect him to be completely ready to doa-zillion different functions and programs as soon as you press the“On” button.

17.Whosays I love you first?:

Again,see the Descendants 2 movie.

18.Wholeaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does itusually say?):

Jane.

It’susually reminders of things that miss Carlos’ (admittedlyincredibly haphazard and disorganized) record keeping system, butsometimes she just goes on to say how much she loves him, or cutelittle things their pets have done that he might like to know about.

19.Whotells their family/friends about their relationship first?:

Jane,though it’s really easy to do so when your mother isn’tobjectively fucking crazy.

20.Whatdo their family/friends think of their relationship?:

FairyGodmother is super supportive and loving towards Carlos—sometimes alittle too much, as FG has a tendency to overcompensate with the“maternal support towards the boyfriend” because of lingering,unconscious guilt of never being around for Jane as much as sheshould have been.

Cruellathinks the whole thing is an absolute disgrace, especiallysince Jane can’t really get “anything of actual worth” fromCarlos. “Not that a homely face and run-of-the-mill body like herscan nab anyone worth marrying in the first place!”

21.Whois more likely to start dancing with the other?:

Carlos.Excessive amounts of energy that need to be released, yo.

22.Whocooks more/who is better at cooking?:

Jane.She’s had plenty of free time to fill, and even though Carlos doescook, he using his hands to work with machines and computers, notknives and fresh ingredients.

23.Whocomes up with cheesy pick up lines?:

Carlos.

“Youknow, Jane, when I think about us, I can’t help but feel like I’ma nut.”

“Anut? Why?”

“BecauseI fit so well with you, like you’re a bolt, and we were just madefor each other.”

24.Whowhispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear duringinappropriate times?:

Carlos.Look, Jane is not above and definitely into dirty talk, but Carlos isthe one who always feels the need to “shake things up” when Janewould rather they not be shook.

25.Whoneeds more assurance?:

Jane.

Carlosisn’t the picture of absolute, constant self-confidence, but atleast he can’t completely, objectively remember every single timehe has ever felt like he could not do it, and it turns out thatdespite his best efforts and the confidence of others, he couldn’tdo it after all.

26.Whatwould be their theme song?:

Imay have used this before, and my apologies if I did, and also for mylimited song knoweldge, but “Body Image” by TWRP fits them verywell.

Jane’sphysical appearance remains a sore point for the rest of her life—shewas “beautiful” in high school, but what about college? The realworld as a “twenty-something” in as much as an immortal, agelessfaerie can be a twenty-something? How should she look as she, herfriends, and her lover age and grow older?

Justhow much gray should she have on her hair? Should she start changingher appearance to have more wrinkles, extra, unnecessary padding, alittle more stoop to her posture? Is it even fair to be simulating aweakening, failing body, when everyone knows full well she willeternally be a spry spring chicken blessed with divine strength andagility like a Grecian Avian Demi-God?

Regardlessof what she looks like, though, Carlos will always love her.

27.Whowould sing to their child back to sleep?:

Jane.

Carlosdoesn’t really feel like he’s up to the task, seeing as all his“lullabies” were Cruella screaming at him at the top of hislungs, blaming him for all her problems, and loudly saying to hisface, message clear thanks to her facial expression, body language,and tone, that she regrets ever having him.

28.Whatdo they do when they’re away from each other?:

Carlosdoes science, Tourney, and “Guy Things” with Jay, the specificsof which change over time. In their teens and twenties, it’s goingout to town, getting into trouble, and possibly being arrested. Inhis thirties and forties, it’s meetings with the other dads and“with kids or serious, all-consuming careers” adults for thingslike weekend hunting trips, “bad-back friendly” Tourney teams andgames, and of course, embarrassing group bonding events with theirkids, their nephews and nieces, and/or godchildren, and so on and soforth for however long he lives.

Janegoes on with her numerous jobs and duties as a Fairy Godmother in anage mostly without magic, hanging out with her female friends withwhatever activities are “in” with them at the moment, and tryingto immerse herself in the present culture however well or awkwardlyshe can, if only so the inevitable generational paradigm shift of allof society around her gets less surprising and sudden.

29.oneheadcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart:

Carlosand Jane own a LOT of dogs over the course of their relationship. Asyou would expect, none of these puppers ever live as long as Carlosdoes, and it’s impossible for any of them to be an immortal Faelike Jane. Every decade or so, they lose a furry best friend orthree, bury and/or cremate them, and shelve a scrapbook filled withprinted photos and mementos in a special collection with all theirdogs.

Ithappens constantly. It’s inevitable. They know, and willinglyaccept that fact every time they are gifted a new puppy, or adopt onefrom the shelter.

Butstill, every single time, it hurts.

Andno time does it hurt the most, than the first time Jane has to fillin the very last pages of a scrapbook by herself, decide whereexactly it’s going to go in that giant wall of scrapbooks by herlonesome, figure out all by herself whether or not she’s going togo get a new dog, after she buried both her latest pet and herhusband.

30.oneheadcanon about this OTP that mends it:

Weknow from Mulan there’s definitely an afterlife—or enough of aperson that sticks around, that it’s basically them for all intentsand purposes. And thanks to connections with Lonnie, and the gradualweakening of the Magic Ban to the point where it’s really just aset of regulatory acts not unlike the laws governing ownership anddriving of a car, Jane manages to get an opportunity to see Carlosagain, along with all of their dogs.

Janehugs and kisses the ghostly, kind-of-cold Carlos in the middle of asea of dogs, before they both lie down and drown in all theslobbering, yipping, yapping, barking, licking, and tail-wagging,struggling to keep up with all the lapdogs who refuse to share withall the other lapdogs, the dogs that really did not like making newfriends, the ones that were just too eager to be friendly withabsolutely everyone they encountered--

--Alltheir dogs, of all temperaments, breeds, backgrounds, and what haveyou, Jane remembering all of them in infallible, exact detail,holding them in her arms once more, feeling their love and affectioneven if her hand goes right through them, and there’s no warmth, nofluffiness when she tries to pet them, just a muggy, slightlyunpleasant coldness.

Thereunion lasts for hours, the magicians, voodoo practitioners, andspirit callers officiating it having to clock overtime because theyhave just that many dogs, and Jane and Carlos want personal time witheach of their pets, however long each canine wants to be with boththeir owners once again.

Buteventually, even the most attention and affection hungry pup hastheir fill, even the dogs that want play time to stretch for on andon find themselves bowing out, and Jane feels that fatigue settingin, the kind that shouldn’t technically exist, but the power oftrying to imitate being normal and human can bring.

Janeand Carlos stand up, hug and kiss one last time, before Jane moves tothe side with the exhausted or just replaced summoners, Carlos andtheir dogs move to the other side. Hands waving, mouths open inpants, tails wagging, they say their goodbyes, before the latterdisappear, and all is quiet once more.

Janegoes home, and spends quite a long time alone immediately after, andtaking something of a semi-vacation from all her work and duties forthe time after that.

Butsome day, she plans on getting herself a new puppy, changing herphysical appearance once more to a woman definitely old enough to besomeone’s mom but not quite someone’s grandmother, putting out adating ad as she tries to get back in the “market.”

Shedoesn’t know exactly what she’s looking for, but she does knowthat they must love dogs.

Interestedin financially supporting my writing habit? Consider donating to myPatreon!

[baltics4engbergs]

Leaving Warsaw and our first day in London!

On Sunday, we flew from Warsaw to London, aboard a Qatar Airlines plane, because BA cabin crews were on strike and they borrowed some planes and crew from Qatar so as to not totally buckle under the impact of the strike.  

So, we checked in in Warsaw and we were at first discouraged by the really disorganized check-in procedure that looked as if it was going to take an eternity, but ultimately it went smoothly.  Before that, we had to meet up with our rental car guy from the Latvian car-rental company we found for a one-way Baltics car rental.  That was not easy to do, but Eric found this company online, and, I must, say it all worked out perfectly.  They were so great -- Prime Car Rent-- and they brought the car to us in Helsinki and picked it up in Warsaw.  The guy we originally got the car from, Aleksander, who I think I mentioned before, was super nice and helpful, and the guy who met us in the short-term parking garage (which we were super nervous about hitting the roof of the car on!) in Warsaw was great too.  We did lose the kids’ neck pillows in the car, so that was one casualty, but otherwise, the car rental experience gets an A+. Anyway, the Warsaw airport experience was  fine, once we got through the surprisingly disorganized line and took our oversized car-seat baggage to this very mysterious drop-off location where Alia disappeared behind a door for a few moments after being beckoned by an employee.  We got through security and then Alia went to spend her zlotys and Eric and the kids and I went to a lounge we had access to.  That was nice.  We filled up on milk (well, for Cece), cereal, cheese, crackers, pears, apples, and Prince Polo candy bars.

Rowan freaked out on the plane when he realized he did not have a window seat.  He threw a major crying tantrum and the poor guy who had that window seat felt so badly, he was like “I don’t want to make a little kid cry!,” but I said “he’s really just got to learn to deal with it.”  Then, once the flight was about to leave, Rowan decided to just chat with the guy, and it all went super well!  The guy was really interesting. He was just finishing up a seven-week tour as a sound-engineer with an electronic musician named Nicholas Jaar with whom he’s worked for ten years.  This guy, Vance, was Seattle-based, but is on tour with Jaar a lot of the year, several years running. He was really sweet to Rowan, super nice, and was great with him, engaging him in conversation about all of the vehicles they saw out of the window and about all of the places they’d each traveled.   Rowan told him of his love for the song “Ghost Crab” by Mechanical River and his adoration of Pat Benatar.

We arrived to London and the first major event was getting our Uber to central London.  That didn’t go as smoothly as we would have liked, because the pick-up point was unclear, and then when we tried to install the car seats, it turned out there were no latch-anchors so we had to do seatbelt install and that went, well, perhaps not perfectly.  But, after a really long hour drive to London-- during which we passed my old street (Balcombe Street), we got to our flat-- or more accurately, the coffee shop where we needed to pick up the key.

Now, the Airbnb host did tell me the day before that the address she uses in her listing is not in fact the actual address of the place because she doesn’t want people using the address for “personal purposes” (whatever that means) and we were kind of mad about that, because after using Google Earth, we were expecting the building to be very different than it was.  Turns out the flat is fine.  But, she did really give me a scare when I wrote her the day before to confirm that the crib and high chair would be there, and she wrote back and was like, “sorry, we don’t have those,” and I quickly wrote back with a pasted-in version of the email exchange we had in which she said she’d provide them.  So, she wrote back and said, “Sorry! You’re right. They'll be there.”  Then, when we arrived, her poor friend who was helping her out because she was out of town was building an actual crib not just assembling a pack-n-play.  I honestly felt bad, because if you’ve ever built, or witnessed anyone building, a legit crib, it’s a pain in the neck and takes forever.  Eric jumped in to help, while Alia and the kids and I went to Tesco to load up on groceries, and when we got back, they had it built.  But you know what else you need with a crib?  A mattress.  Yup.  Medina, the helper, could not find that in her Sunday-thereby-compromised shopping in London (even though London is so amazing built-up and busy these days, I am shocked the crib-buying options were so limited).  So, she bought patio furniture cushions. Yes, you read that right. Turns out they do fit pretty snuggly and now that Cece is two, I am not as terrified.  But, I did check like a hawk that they were in there snuggly and well.  I mean, if I had a young baby, I would’ve freaked out at this work-around a lot more.  But, it’s been fine for the night we’ve been here. But, really, patio furniture cushions?  Ugh.  And we’ve had to buy our own toilet paper.  Will we include these items in our review?  Not sure.  But, the flat is in a great location and is nice otherwise.

Last night, the kids got to bed at a decent time and then, this morning, they were up early (before 7) and so I took them on a walk to King’s Cross station to the toy store there and we really looked around the whole station and did buy two little toys, one of which is one of those crazy big-eyed Ty stuffed animals: a cat for Cece.  We went from King’s Cross station over to UCL on Gower Street, my old college for 1995-1996, and it was nice to check it out again!  But man oh man, London just seems so incredibly busy -- everywhere, all the time. I don’t remember it being this way in the mid-nineties.

After UCL, we picked Eric up at the flat and walked thirty minutes to Covent Garden to the London Transport Museum to meet my friend Alison and her son Fraser.  It was so, so great to see them!  I had never met Fraser, since it’s been like 8 years since I’ve seen Alison, and he’s only 3 :)   Rowan was so excited to meet this “new child,” as he kept saying.  Ha!  Anyway, the Transport museum is kind of pandemonium, and us adults did not get to absorb any information at all while there, because we were chasing kids around the whole time -- on double-decker busses, real train carriages, and then on a series of neat playscapes that were trains, boats, busses.  Cece had not been doing so well on our way to the museum, as she was “sleepy!!!!!” she kept saying, and so I carried her the last bit of the way there, and then we had a scare with her almost losing her new kitty, and she freaked out about that, but we found the kitty, and then she had a good time at the museum.  She did lie on my lap at the end, repeating how sleepy she was.  And sure enough, when we left, she instantly fell asleep in  the stroller, on our way to Coram’s Fields -- a massive, seven-acre playground.

Cece only slept for a bit, but Rowan and Fraser both ran around just trying to get a sense of what they wanted to do, before we could even focus their attention on eating the lunch we’d picked up first.  I am going to tie this post up soon, but suffice to say, Cece woke up soon and the jaunt to the park ended with both of my kids naked in a sandy water play area, thrilled with the fun they were having there.  

And to everyone back home in the U.S., happy Independence Day tomorrow! Tomorrow, I will write about my first afternoon and evening at the D. Hl Lawrence conference!