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#adrian kempe one shot
ladylooch · 9 months
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As our year quickly winds down, I want to thank all of you for being here and supporting me this year! I am not exaggerating when I say I am not sure how I would have survived 2023 without you all. Being in this space has been so safe and comforting to me. I hope you all feel that way when you are here too! I love creating and sharing my work with you. I have the best support system and mutuals and readers and followers EVER!
I’m looking forward to a thirsty and thotty 2024 with you all. But before we get there, let's look back on our big year!
Top 3 fics of 2023:
Nico’s Biggest Fan - Nico Hischier
No Nut November - Nico Hischier
A Night of Firsts - and of course, Captain Nico Hischier!
Top 3 writing tags on the blog:
TM: Loving & Leaving
Lio & Lucie
What My World Spins Around AU
Writer’s favorites from 2023 ( in no particular order):
Road Visit - Timo Meier
Magic in the Kitchen - Kevin Fiala
Size Matters - Miles Wood
You’re Not The One - Nico Hischier
When Nico Saved Lucie- Nico Hischier & Lucie
Favorite themes to work with:
Teammate’s sister
Protective men
Babies and pregnancy
Any ask that came in about my AUs. They are truly our AUs and it makes me so proud of what we have created together!
What fic were you most surprised succeeded?
I Need a Big Boy- Miles Wood. I loved it! Had so much fun writing it! But didn’t think it was going to be that successful because it is of a “less” popular player with a generic theme. But it’s gone over very well and I still see notes for it regularly in my activity feed! Plus the ending is so good. SOOOO good. 
Any fics you wished had received more attention?
1. The Best Part of It - Kevin Fiala
2. Another Round of You & Me - Adrian Kempe
3. Princess Hischier - Lucie Hischier & Connor Wood
Favorite line you wrote this year:
“He smiles because unlike me, he already knew that.” Part 4 of Loving & Leaving
What ship gave you brain rot this year?
Timo & Emma. I’m obsessed with them. The Meier AU celebration was the highlight of my entire year, both on and off Tumblr. 
What are you most excited to work on in 2024?
Shot in the Dark with Miles & Kailey - but also just continuing to expand my AUs until they take over the world 🥰
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whockeywhore · 4 years
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No Risk No Reward 3
“Do you have anything to say for yourselves?” Kelsey was livid, pacing the room with her hands on her hips while Adrian and I sat on the couch. A long silence ensued and I shifted a bit which she apparently saw a sign to keep yelling. “You could have gotten arrested!” 
“I think you’re overreacting babe.” Alex finally piped up from his spot in the corner and held his hands up in surrender when she turned towards him. “Just saying-” 
“This is serious, Alex. If they had chosen to press charges-” 
“Which they didn’t!” 
“Only because I lied about being your lawyer.” 
“Aren’t you a lawyer?” It was the first thing Adrian had said since we got back to our house and I turned to look at him, noticing a smirk he shot in my direction. 
“I’m a real estate lawyer. I deal with developmental deals and- wait, why am I explaining myself to you? You’re the one who got her into trouble in the first place.” 
“He didn’t do anything I didn’t do Kelsey.” She snorted a laugh and I let my irritation get the best of me, raising my voice to match hers. “I’m serious.” 
“You expect me to believe that you were the mastermind behind fucking in a broom closet?” 
“Is that so hard?” 
“Yes, because that isn’t you Morgan. I know you-”
“Apparently not as well as you think.” Her face reddened as if I’d slapped her but I kept my footing, crossing my arms over my chest. “And while I appreciate the lecture, I don’t need one.” 
“You could have gone to jail or ended up on the registry. You were dumb enough to do this and I saved your ass and this is how you thank me?” She started down the hall and stopped short, turning back to yell at me some more. “What were you thinking?” 
“That I’m an adult and I can do whatever I fucking want. And if I wanted a mom around to yell at me I’d go back to Nebraska.” 
“Maybe you should!” 
“Maybe I will!” 
She huffed and turned, her bedroom door slamming a moment later. Alex got up and pulled me into a hug. “She doesn’t mean that, she’s upset.” 
“She has no right to be!” 
“I think she’s just worried. This doesn’t sound like you- fooling around in public. And you were drunk when we came to get you. I’ve known you for a year and I’ve never even seen you drunk, much less in movie theater jail.” He nodded to Adrian where he sat on the couch. “To be completely honest, I didn’t expect this from you either.” 
“It’s not his fault.” 
“I figured. Blame it on the alcohol, right? I’ll go talk to her.” 
Alex started down the hall and left Adrian and I alone in the living room. I stood for a minute before taking the seat next to him. 
“I’m sorry about this Morgan.” 
“Don’t apologize. Please don’t apologize. Seriously, it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time.” 
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” His thigh was up against mine and I reached out, setting a hand on it. He visibly stiffened and swallowed hard. “It’s a shame we didn’t get to um... finish.” 
“I was just thinking the same thing.” 
I was on him in an instant, hands on his face as I pulled him in for a kiss. It was hard and fast and we stood together, hands under my ass as he lifted me into his arms. The trip down the hall seemed to take forever and I clung to him with one arm as I opened my bedroom door with the other. 
Adrian threw me onto the mattress and eyed me hungrily, kneeling and wrapping his hands around my ankles. My dress rode up as he pulled me to the edge and I felt his lips on my thigh. Hot kisses made for a line of fire up my leg and he stopped as soon as he got to the band of my thong. I propped myself up on my elbows and watched him. 
“May I?” I nodded and he tucked his fingers under the elastic and pulled until it snapped.
Just the sight of the muscles in his arms flexing was enough to send me and he smirked as I moaned quietly. He mumbled something against my skin and I melted as he traced my slit with the tip of his tongue. Heat pooled in my belly but I shivered, grabbing at the sheets around me for something to hold onto. 
He groaned between my legs, lifting them both to set on his shoulders, and I melted at the feel of his stubble against my sensitive skin. My mind went blank and all I could focus on was the pleasure building in my body as he lapped at me. His grip on my hips tightened, little pinpoints of pain where he dug his fingers in, and I clamped my thighs shut as I came.
He was relentless, tongue flicking over my clit to roll me straight into another orgasm. I was delirious by the time he crawled up my body to kiss me. Tasting myself on his lips was so deliciously erotic and I squeezed my eyes shut as I caught my breath. Adrian rolled to the side to lay next to me, propped up on one elbow with his other hand on my stomach. I could feel him watching me and I opened one eye to look at him. 
“Hey....” 
“Hey.” 
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tessisawriter · 5 years
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Not Losing Me (Adrian Kempe)
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Request (anonymous): Adrian Kempe #16 💜
A/N: I have no idea what the Kings’ social media people are like: I just made them that way to highlight the problem of sexism in the workplace. If you have ever experienced sexism or harassment, please know that it is not your fault and you have every right to report whoever did that to you. Lightly inspired by Gabrielle Aplin’s “Losing Me” (link here). 
Warnings: Two swear words, angst, sexism, mention of catcalling & harassment
Word Count: 1.8k
Another night, another loss.
You sighed as you turned off the post-game coverage, knowing that Adrian would be home any minute now. The Kings had not been doing well recently, and your boyfriend was in a perpetually sullen mood. You didn’t want to make him feel worse than he already did.
As soon as you put down the clicker, you heard the telltale signs of keys jingling outside the door, a string of curses, and finally, the lock turning. The door burst open, and Adrian came stomping inside. There was a wild look in his eyes that you had never seen in the seven years you knew him.
“I’m so fucking sick of losing!” Adrian exclaimed, throwing his hockey bag down on the ground.
Your heart hurt for him. You stood up, walked over to him, and wrapped your arms around him in a bone-crushing hug. You whispered in his ear, “I know, babe.”
Adrian’s body tensed and he pulled away from your embrace, but you still kept your arms around him. “No, you don’t, Y/N—all you do is study, and work, and study some more! You have no idea what I’m going through!”
“I’d beg to differ,” you responded, keeping your voice calm. “We do completely different things, sure, but frustration is central to both of our jobs. When I hand in a paper that I know is subpar, I feel like a loser.”
Adrian’s eyes darkened. “Are you actually trying to compare grad school to being a professional athlete?” The venom in his voice cut through you like a knife. “Come on, Y/N, get real! I not only have to play games five times a week, but I also have to stay in perfect physical shape and put the puck in the net! Grad school is child’s play.”
The last comment made you snap. The floodgates opened, and tears started streaming down your face. “Don’t you dare tell me that what I do is child’s play!” you screamed. “I know you’ve been down lately, so I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible, but you just crossed the line!”
“Really? You’re going to throw a temper tantrum now?” Adrian’s voice was dripping with snark.
You were overwhelmed by your emotions, but “That’s it, I’m done,” was all you said as you turned away and walked into the bedroom.
You went into the closet and grabbed a blanket. It was too late at night to fight like this, and you needed time to think. You plucked Adrian’s pillow off the bed before returning to the living room, putting them on the couch, and informing him: “I think it’s best if you sleep out here tonight.”
The possessed look in Adrian’s eyes vanished immediately, and remorse replaced it. “Y/N, baby, I shouldn’t have said that, I’m so…”
“No.” A suppressed sob made your voice sound choked. “You hurt me. You really hurt me, and I need some distance from you now, so please, just stay on the couch.” Your voice was reduced to a squeak by the time you finished.
Adrian’s green eyes looked suspiciously watery, but he just nodded and grabbed the blanket, unfolded it, and laid it out on the couch while you walked back into the bedroom and closed the door, locking it before you climbed into bed and shut off the light.
***************
You drifted in and out of sleep, never able to relax enough to rest. You hated nothing more than restless nights, so you eventually gave up on sleeping and sat up in your bed.
The clock read 4:15AM, and you groaned, running a hand over your face. Your heart ached when you looked at Adrian’s empty side of the bed. How could your loving boyfriend who had done nothing but support and lift you up throughout your five-year relationship belittle you like that? His statement stung, and it kept replaying in your head, confusing you the more you thought about it.
You didn’t feel any better physically. Your eyes hurt from crying yourself to sleep, your nose was all stuffed, and your throat was scratchy. More than anything, you wanted water, so you reached over to the bedside table for where you normally kept your water bottle, but your hand only made contact with air. “Shit,” you cursed quietly. You left your water bottle in the living room.
The last thing you wanted to do was go outside, especially because you didn’t want to wake Adrian if he had managed to fall asleep, but your throat screamed for water. You compromised on leaving your water bottle in the living room and getting another one from the kitchen.
You crept over to the bedroom door and tried to make as little noise as possible while you unlocked the door. You were successful, so you slowly turned the knob and opened the door halfway. You looked through the door and saw Adrian lying on his side on the couch, facing away from the bedroom. He appeared to be asleep. Sighing, you stepped through the doorframe and tiptoed to the kitchen, where you took out a new water bottle and filled it without making too much noise. When you walked back into the living room, though, Adrian was sitting up on the couch and facing the kitchen, clearly waiting for you to come out.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Adrian asked, his voice sedate but scratchy.
You shook your head.
“Me neither,” he said.
You just stood there, staring at him. Everyone said there were two responses to potential conflict, fight or flight, but you knew there was a third option: freeze.
“Y/N? Do you want to come and sit?” Adrian asked you for the second time. You snapped out of whatever trance you were in and gingerly walked over to the couch, sitting on the opposite end from Adrian.
The silence was killing you, so you brought the water bottle to your lips and took a sip. The cool water felt like heaven, so you drank the rest of the bottle before setting it down on the coffee table.
“Feel any better?” Adrian said.
“Yeah.” You tested your voice, and it sounded clearer.
“Good.”
The silence took over the room again, but you turned to Adrian and broke it: “Why did you say what you did? I mean…” You searched for the words. “You’ve never belittled me before, and while it hurt, what really bothers me is I don’t understand where it came from.”
“I didn’t mean it, Y/N. I was frustrated with myself, so I took it out on you, but I shouldn’t have.”
“I believe you,” you replied, “But that wasn’t the question. Where would you pick up such a notion? It was sexist, and you’ve never behaved that way before: quite the contrary, actually. You always treat girls as equal, and that was why I liked you in the first place.”
“I don’t know, it’s just…” Adrian ran his hands through his hair, which told you he was lying. He knew where it came from.
“Adrian,” you said, moving a little closer to him on the couch so that you weren’t so far away but also had enough distance between you, “It’s okay: you can tell me. I won’t judge or anything.”
Adrian sighed. “You know the new guys in social media?”
You nodded, your blood already boiling. The Kings had hired a new social media team this year, and there was only one female member. The rest were boys in their early to mid 20s who were known to hit on fans and occasionally, a player’s SO. Fortunately, they didn’t try that with you, but it happened to Tyler’s wife, Cat. They were pigs.
“They’re always talking shit about girls, and they were on me today, or I guess yesterday now, about you.”
“What about me?” You asked, despite dreading his answer.
“That they forget I have a girlfriend half the time because you don’t go to a ton of games,” he admitted.
You stiffened. “You know I want to go to your games, but I can’t control the fact that my classes are all at night.”
“I understand, Y/N, I really do, and I’m so proud of everything you’re doing at your PhD program. I don’t know what came over me.”
“I do,” you said. “Those assholes knew you’ve been upset over losing a lot lately, so they took advantage of it and spread their poison.” You closed the distance between you and Adrian on the couch and put your fingers under his chin so he would be forced to look you in the eye. “But you can’t let them do that anymore, okay?”
“I won’t, I promise,” Adrian said, and you knew from the earnestness in his eyes that he was telling the truth.
“Okay, then. I forgive you.”
Adrian’s eyes widened. “You do?”
“Yeah. It wasn’t really you talking earlier. But promise me one thing.”
“Anything.”
“Tell management to fire those jerks,” you said. “Did you know that a bunch of them hit on Cat last week and were catcalling her?”
Adrian’s jaw clenched. “No, I did not know that. No wonder she’s been acting strange whenever she comes to the facility. Tyler’s been really worried about it; I have to tell him…”
“No,” you said. “I’ll call Cat in the morning and convince her to tell Tyler herself. He needs to hear it from her, Adrian.”
“You’re right. God, I’m so sorry about all this,” Adrian said as he wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tight. You returned the gesture and rested your head in the crook of his neck.
“Don’t be sorry: we’re going to handle this together tomorrow,” you replied.
Adrian released you and stood up. “That’s right: we’re a team, and I won’t forget that again. Let’s go to bed, shall we?” He extended his hand, and you took it, letting him pull you up from the couch and into bed.
After you were settled in the bed with Adrian as the big spoon, he whispered into your hair, “I was so worried I was going to lose you.”
“Because of those jackasses?” You chuckled and turned around to face him. “You’re not losing me because of them.”
Adrian smiled and kissed you on the lips. You leaned into the kiss before pulling away.
“Let’s not lose any more sleep over them, okay?”
“Amen to that,” Adrian agreed, and you turned back over so that you could resume your original position. Both of you fell asleep within five minutes, happy that your fight was over.
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letterboxd · 3 years
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Beastly Baby.
False Positive writer and director John Lee tells Ella Kemp about causing chaos with his daughters, preferring to be in the kitchen at parties and using art to reckon with the darkest parts of life.
“Art is the history of destruction in many ways, so embrace that in your life.” —John Lee
Once upon a time, a woman called Lucy dreamed of having a little girl. She planned to name her Wendy. Struggling to get pregnant with her husband John, they sought help from miracle fertility doctor Adrian Hindle and, like magic, soon enough they were expecting a daughter. This is how director John Lee’s False Positive kicks off, but an opening shot of a blood-soaked Ilana Glazer suggests this fairy tale is of the darker variety.
The script, co-written by Lee and Glazer, deals with the twisty dynamics between men and women at a moment in life where trust should be more important than anything. Both Broad City star Glazer and Wonder Showzen co-creator Lee are best known for their work in television comedy. In making the leap to psychological thriller, the experience, especially for Glazer fans, feels increasingly unsettling. But it is a short walk from tragedy to comedy, so the reverse is usually also true—as many comedy creators before them have proven.
False Positive is about gaslighting, legacy, appearances, fairy tales and all the insidious feelings that get wrapped up in relationships that we often mistake for pure, true love. It’s also something of a contemporary homage to Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby (more on that in a minute)—showcasing, here, female agency in a much more complex way.
“The tensions of sacrificing one’s body to grow another… allows for greater glimpses into the diminishment of women throughout pregnancy,” writes Claira Curtis, with Wes Lawson echoing this succinctly by calling False Positive “a horror movie that asks ‘What if your pregnancy was entirely dictated by men?’” It works because of just how awfully compelling these men are—our favorite clean-cut James Bond star Pierce Brosnan delivers a wickedly unsettling turn as Hindle, while Justin Theroux, as John, proves a good bone structure might just be the most untrustworthy thing a man can offer you.
But the film would be nothing without Glazer as Lucy. A million miles away from her effervescent, stoner comedy in Broad City, she’s showing a different side here: a vulnerable woman trying with all her might to keep control over her body, her job, her autonomy, her future.
John Lee spoke to us about Glazer’s intuition, the power of destruction and how Peter Pan is at the root of everything. This interview contains discussion of the film’s plot.
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John (Justin Theroux) and Lucy (Ilana Glazer) during a visit to Dr. Hindle’s fertility clinic.
To what extent is Rosemary’s Baby the parent of False Positive? John Lee: I’m certainly standing on the shoulders of Rosemary’s Baby. In the history of cinema, it’s probably the most famous birth movie there is. But I just would say: let’s not continue down the path of Rosemary's Baby, let’s go the opposite way. I think one of the problems with Rosemary’s Baby is that it doesn’t quite get in the head of Mia Farrow as Rosemary. It’s a very removed movie, it’s equally about the two men in her life. I wanted to make sure that we were in Lucy’s head. I wanted you to experience what it means to be gaslit. Women know what that’s like, men rarely know what that’s like. I apologize! But that’s the truth.
Most men don’t know what it means to be debased in that way. I wanted to use cinema, which is so psychological, to really express that, because there’s a lot of psychological thrillers that don’t actually get into psychology. They explain things, and I didn’t want to explain things because I think sometimes evil’s not necessarily explained, it’s a feeling, it’s an experience. It’s that buzzy intuition that women, people of color and queer people have.
I wanted to do that in a way that is different than Rosemary’s Baby, in a way that I think is more reflective of an experience that my wife and I had. Before having our first kid, we had infertility issues, and so I wanted to really dive into that. And so it’s only Rosemary’s Baby in that it’s about birth. The joke that Ilana and I had is that we were making Rosemary’s Baby without the rape.
Speaking of Ilana, I’d like to borrow a line from the movie to ask you what she taught you, as a writer and actor, about female intuition? Ilana is a very fiercely independent woman—and so is my wife, partner and best friend, Alyson Levy, who I’ve also made stuff with. I grew up American so, you like sports, you play sports. And there would be parties and men would be in the living room watching football, and I would go in there, and it was just extremely boring. No one’s talking or saying anything. So I would go into the kitchen, and there’d be these women laughing, crying, making fun of each other. And I was just like, “Oh, this is the place! This is where sarcasm lives.”
I also have a sister who is a big influence in my life, and then seeing my wife who just doesn’t put up with any shit, I’m kind of intimidated by it, and I’m in awe. So in terms of our process on the movie, I think I’ve just been infused with that for a long time and brought that awareness.
When Ilana and I wrote the script, I would let her take the keyboard and write that stuff—because I can’t speak it. I know the feeling of it, but it’s not my voice. We would have discussions but it was all very mercurial and open and free and collaborative in a way that there was no pressure. Collaboration is about being vulnerable and truthful. It’s being an ego sometimes, but also knowing my place to let things be.
When it came to directing Ilana’s performance, was there anything that surprised you once your dynamic shifted as collaborators? I think the experience for Ilana was tough, because I took away all the things that make her a magical person. Her crazy hair’s gone, her sense of being a wild spirit is gone, her humor gone—all her tools. It’s brutal. I started to admire as we went on just how hard it was for her, so I would just try to give her as many hugs as I could! I would just try to support her in being able to be closed off, and then building up to the climax of the movie when she literally starts throwing punches.
We shot that at the end on purpose, so she couldn’t actually experience that, so she had to be in this tension. In terms of specific surprises, when Hindle inseminates her for the first time, and she and him have basically a sexual experience, I was really surprised by her version of it. It was so quiet and delicate and hopeful.
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Lucy’s outburst at the end makes for one of a very small handful of moments in the film which features a very intense, guttural scream. These moments are extremely well chosen—how did you go about deciding which specific beats to give that visceral power to? My job as a writer is to create as much tension as possible. I don’t care about explanations in movies and I’m rarely surprised by a twist. What I really enjoy is the transition from one state to the next, a metamorphosis. And birth is a metamorphosis, pregnancy is that, so I was really into that experience of just really sitting in the quiet nervous tension, this nervous laughter in a moment when you can only laugh because you don’t know how else to respond.
I wanted to give a little bit of relief, because you have to go through a journey and she has to scream at some point. She has to throw punches, or the movie’s just dire and I’m not that dire of a person. I’m really also very optimistic and I wanted this movie to be. Even though it’s a bit aggressive, the screams were an exaltation of her independence. Screaming is good.
During the pandemic, I’ve told my daughters, “Let’s go be destructive a little bit.” You have to! So we get those bubble teas and shoot them at cars. I’m like, “Let’s go smash a bottle! No one’s gonna get hurt, we’re not causing damage.”
But you do have to let that out. You have to find a way, whether it be through creativity or music or art, or smashing a bottle, to express that. Art is the history of destruction in many ways, so embrace that in your life. Lucy embracing that was important. From screams to punches to blood, to smashing. Because the phrase “smash the patriarchy” exists—it requires a smash!
But there’s also a tenderness to False Positive. The only thing that stops it veering into the abyss and being destructive all the time is the reliance on fairy tales. It’s in the score and in the script, crucially through the relationship the film has with the story of Peter Pan. Before my wife and I had our kids we had a miscarriage, and I was reading Peter Pan at the time. In the book, there are chapters where the parents are sitting in the kids’ rooms staring out the window, waiting for them to return. I was reading that and I was trying to understand loss and memory. How do you get over something like that and just have a kid again? What does that mean to the kid you were about to have?
That notion of the parents staring out the window became one of the darkest things I realized, because there’s only two options: those kids were either thrown out the window, or someone stole those children. It really made me rethink Peter Pan—like, all fairy tales are actually dark stories. And then I started to realize the evil that men do is rape in every possible way: financial, physical, all kinds of control. The evil that women do is killing their babies. So I was like, “Oh my god, okay, that’s a movie, right there.”
So this movie is about that loss of innocence at your own demise, and what that means to try to understand the women who have done that, and why they did it. They had such a lack of support, institutionally, structurally and healthcare-wise. And what we do in this country is we just say, “Oh, that’s mommy brain.” We don’t actually say, “Hey, let’s give these people support for whatever they’re going through.” So all that is both profoundly dark and profoundly humorous, in the same way that when you ride a roller coaster, you either scream or you crack up. I want this movie to feel like that experience.
So if Lucy is a vague proxy for Wendy, who is Peter? John or Adrian? Peter Pan, the trickster, is the Beast that makes brief appearances throughout the movie—Lucy’s intuition.
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Pierce Brosnan and John Lee on the set of ‘False Positive’.
Let’s move onto some quickfire Life in Film questions. Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia! or as James Bond? Pierce Brosnan in Mrs. Doubtfire.
What’s your favorite unconventional fairy tale? It’s ‘The Story of the Youth Who Went Forth To Learn What Fear Was’ by the Grimm Brothers. There are three brothers, and two of them go to find something scary, but one can’t be scared. They do all these elaborate plots to make them scared, and the only thing that scares him is they put fish down his pants, and that gives him the shivers. They put fish down his pants on his wedding night, so it’s very clearly about sexuality.
I also love all these Asian fairy tales, in which I don’t think monsters have to be evil. They are a reflection of how you treat them. So if you treat them well, they will be well back to you. And so that’s Lucy’s intuition—there’s a monster in the movie, but it’s telling her to wake up. I really enjoy that kind of thing, you see that in a lot of Miyazaki films and I’m like, why don't we embrace that here? Why are we stuck in black and white?
What is the one film that made you want to be a filmmaker? Stranger than Paradise by Jim Jarmusch. My girlfriend in high school brought it home, and she’s like, “This looks weird. Let’s watch this.” And I realized I had seen some of it before but then was just like, “Oh my god, this is an option? You can do this.” I grew up in a really small town with half migrant workers and half hillbillies, Steinbeck country. And so I didn’t realize you could do something like that. I just thought: whatever that is, I want to go down that path.
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Tinkerbell, Peter Pan and Wendy in ‘Peter Pan’ (1953).
And finally: what’s your favorite filmed version of Peter Pan? The Disney animated version. I think the song at the end, ‘He Can Fly’, is beautiful and we used a lot of references from it in the movie. All the other versions are a little hokey to me.
Related content
The ‘Good for Her’ cinematic universe: a list by Claira
Dogfood’s list of horror films in which pregnancy, insemination and/or childbirth are a major plot point
Body Horror: $am’s list of ‘something is wrong with my body’ movies
Follow Ella on Letterboxd
‘False Positive’ is streaming now on Hulu.
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kolsmikaelson · 3 years
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Mitch Marner and Adrian Kempe for the shots thingy
mitch- one
adrian- none
send me a player and i’ll tell you how many shots i’d have to take to make out with them
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son-of-poseidone · 4 years
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Swimming in the Moonlight Ch. 1
Adrian Kemp couldn't accept anything less than 1st place. Winning was everything, end of story. So, when Chiron paired him with Griffin Cohen, a slacking son of Aphrodite, for an archery competition, his win streak --and his reputation-- looked like it was coming to a swift end. Chiron claimed he paired them up in hopes that they would rub off on each other, at least a little bit, but Adrian wasn't so sure that was the best idea.
After all, what could a competition addict learn from someone who's best friend was a beach chair?
Adrian belongs to me, Griffin belongs to @markiehh
Originally posted by me on AO3
“Chiron, please, pair me up with anyone else.”
“Adrian—”
“Chiron.”
The centaur sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Adrian had managed to stop him on the porch of the Big House and he had a feeling that Chiron had been avoiding this conversation all day long, but he underestimated Adrian’s persistence.
“I believe you two would be good influences on each other.”
A loud, humorless laugh boomed from Adrian. “Griffin. A good influence on me. Yeah, okay. All Lover Boy does is sit in his beach chair all day at the lake.” He could picture him now, sitting in that stupid chair drinking his stupid piña coladas with the alcohol he somehow managed to sneak into the camp for the past two years. If it weren’t for the fact that he was one of the consistent suppliers for the Hermes Cabin’s monthly secret parties, Adrian would have ratted Griffin out solely out of spite. “I can understand why I’d be a good influence on him, but seriously?”
“Griffin needs to learn to take things more seriously and you need to…take things less seriously. I genuinely believe it would be good for the both of you to spend more time with each other.”
Adrian blinked and crinkled his nose in disgust. “You’re telling me, the head counselor of the Nike Cabin, to take things less seriously.”
“I’m aware of your lineage but winning isn’t—”
“Yeah,” Adrian snapped, “winning isn’t everything.” He clicked his tongue in disgust and started walking down the steps of the porch, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You know,” he called over his shoulder, “I hear Michelle from the Athena Cabin has a habit of pulling all-nighters while she’s doing her research. You should confiscate her books and tell her that wisdom isn’t everything.”
Chiron said something else, but Adrian was already far enough away where he couldn’t make out what he had said. It was probably for the better. Even though he respected Chiron’s judgement on most things, he couldn’t have been more wrong on this one. Griffin was insufferable. End of story. Hearing what Chiron had to say probably would have only worsened his mood.
He needed to kick the hell out of someone but he was starting to lose all his willing sparring partners. His eyes subconsciously moved towards the cabins, falling on the bright red walls of the Ares Cabin. It had been two years since they’d broken up. She couldn’t still be mad at him, right?
•    •    •
Wrong. Before he even got to knock, Titus opened the door and stood there, completely blocking the inside from view. The guy was only fifteen and he was already six and a half feet tall and almost just as wide. His forearms alone were just about as big as Adrian’s head. He stared at Adrian down his nose and his dark brown eyes bore through him. Adrian was pretty sure he could feel a small spot in the center of his forehead starting to cook underneath his gaze and he suddenly felt like the ant getting roasted by the giant with a magnifying glass.
It would scare most people away in an instant. Too bad Adrian was shameless.
“Hey, Tiny.”
Titus folded his arms and sneered. “Evelyn isn’t here.”
He was caught a little off guard by the bluntness. “And what makes you think that’s why I’m here?”
Titus raised an eyebrow and looked at Adrian condescendingly. “So if you aren’t looking for Evelyn, why are you here?”
“Gods,” a voice said from inside, blocked from view from Titus’s massive body, “he’s such an idiot.” A hand shot out from between Titus and the doorframe, hitting Adrian in the chest and pushing him down the stairs of the cabin’s patio. His arms spun, trying to keep himself balanced, but the back of his foot hit a rock on the ground and he fell on his back. The air left his lungs on impact and as he stared at the sky in disbelief, Evelyn stood over him, her hands on her hips. Her blue eyes stared down at him furiously and he was suddenly a lot more fearful of her than of Titus. He knew that Ares’s inferno eyes weren’t hereditary, but he swore he saw blue flames dancing in her irises.
“I told you not to come back here,” she said, her voice dangerously even. “Why did you come back here?”
“I wanted to spar,” he sputtered, his voice raspy from the wind getting knocked out of him.
Evelyn stared at him for a moment, contemplating. Finally, she put her hand out for him to grab. He started reaching for her and hesitated, trying to read her expression. It hadn’t changed. The fire in her eyes that wasn’t there, but was, at the same time, hadn’t left and everything inside of him was screaming at him not to take her hand. Even that Nike intuition that let him sense what would be his downfall was telling him, no, yelling at him that it was a bad idea.
But he couldn’t resist. Holding her hand again was too appealing.
So he grabbed it.
He regretted it before their fingers even grazed.
She pulled him up so fast that his head snapped back and he bit his tongue, almost instantly tasting the coppery tang of blood. He was pretty sure he yelped. She spun him in a circle, putting her free hand in the center of his back, right between his shoulder blades, and pushed him back into the ground. His cheek sunk into the mud and she put her foot where her hand was, the heel of her combat boot pushing into his spine, making him sink further. Each time he tried to push himself back up, she drove her foot down harder.
“There,” she said, “sparring over.”
“As much as I loved that,” he replied, spitting out mud between every few words, “I really need to blow off steam and I was hoping we could move past what happened.”
Her foot lifted and he rolled over onto his back, only to see a spark of joy in her eyes. He held back a smile, glad that he was finally able to get through to her. He rose to his feet and she said, “You found out who your partner is.”
His heart deflated. Or maybe he…didn’t get through to her.
He sighed. “Yeah.”
Evelyn cackled. “Oh man, as soon as I saw your names together on that list, I started dying. Chiron’s finally knocking you down a peg and it looks like I’m gonna be on top this time.”
Adrian’s eyebrows furrowed. “Who’s your partner?”
“Ashton.”
His stomach sank.
“Hypnos Ashton or… Apollo Ashton?”
She only smirked.
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For the nhl teams, i have an an unusual one: the anaheim ducks
Strengths:
Face-offs. That is the only thing the Ducks seem to be good at. Everything else they were average or horrifically below league average.
The Ducks were 7th in the league for face-offs at 51.3%, which, all thing considered, also could be better.
Weaknesses:
In short, everything. This team needs some serious rebuilding, anything I say would just be the tip of the iceberg.
Offence. The Ducks were last in the league for goals for at only 196.
They were 13th in the league for worst goals against with 248. They allowed over 50 goals more than they could score.
They allowed the 7th most shots against per game.
Their power play was 24th in the league at 17%.
And their penalty kill was 20th at 79.7%.
They gave up the 12th most give aways.
And were 24th in take aways.
They need to fix everything.
Who I think they should trade:
Getzlaf.
Kesler.
Both are listed as “NMC,” so a trade won’t happen, but both of these players are nearing the end of their careers and are making far too much money despite showing clear signs of serious regression. Anaheim should trade these two and free up some room in the budge for younger players to help them rebuild.
Who I think they should trade for/or sign:
Forwards in their 20s that can provide depth. Rome wasn’t built in a day and flashy forwards with great numbers aren’t going to fix the Ducks’ offence problem. They need some diamonds in the rough.
Tyler Ennis would provide great depth without breaking the bank.
Anders Lee is a great goal scorer and a big guy with numbers near identical to Jeff Skinner. Would be great for the Ducks to pick up this off season.
And a couple good wingers with lower AAV coming from teams with cap space issues would also be beneficial for the Rangers.
Adrian Kempe, Andreas Johnsson, Kasperi Kapanen, Andre Burakovsky and Zach Aston-Reese being some possibilities.
The Ducks also need some good defence.
UFAs like Jake Gardiner, Jordie Benn and Alex Edler could be good for them.
As well as younger defacemen that teams might be looking to trade like Rasmus Ristolainen.
Who I think they should re-sign:
None of them.
The Ducks need a full on rebuilding and holding onto the old will not help them rebuild.
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hockeyplayerstories · 6 years
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Adrian Kempe | From Friends To lovers
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#This is shit but I hope it’s okay#
“Skate! Skate! Skate! Get the puck deep in their zone!!” Coach Desjardins yells across the ice. I skate as fast as I can, but I can't. My legs feel like they are about to give out and there is a whole period left after these 5 minutes. Just as I am about to fall, Coach saves my life “Change Up!” “ Thank you god!” Jeff say’s which is what I was thinking. We were playing Calgary Flames tonight. They liked to play dirty, especially Matthew Tkachuk which isn’t how we usually and like to play. Sitting on the bench, out of breath, Coach walks over to me “Your line, last minute of the period” “Yes sir” Jaret says tiredly for our line. As I sat there recovering, I let my thoughts wander along with my eyes. Looking around, my eyes finally land on the one person I was looking for, my girlfriend, Y/N. My beautiful, fun, courageous, brave girl. I watch her as she smiles making me wonder what is on her mind. Maybe to finally have time to see me since it is the weekend, the only time we see each other because of my road trips and her job. I am caught staring at her when we catch eyes, naturally I smile back at her and blush. Looking away was hard because of her beautiful eyes but I had to, time went by so quick I didn’t even notice. “ One minute left, you ready?”  Jaret asked me, breaking me from thoughts. “Ummm...sure yeah sure”. I refocus back to present time quick. “ Third line up!” Coach calls, my line rush's on the ice when the others return, charging as Drew carries the puck in the other teams zone. I reach the puck first in the left corner, with one quick look right over my shoulder, I take note of where everyone is, I notice number 77 skating behind the net no one on him, Jeff. He turns skating backwards taping his stick on the ice, wanting and waiting for the puck. Pinned to the glass in a tackle, by 2 guys, I somehow get my stick free, kick the puck to my stick and pass to Jeff and make a bee line for the front of the net.
Jeff then quickly makes a saucer pass to Dion, who passed a bouncing puck to Drew only for him to send it back to him slowly for a perfect one timer. Due to not having the best one timers, the puck missed the net by meters and hit the boards in back of it on the left side of the net. Luckily , I had moved out of the pucks way thinking it might actually hit the net and cause a rebound chance. The area I moved to was to the right of the net. What happened next will be in everyone's memories for a long time. The puck was shot so fast the goalie was surprised and lost focus for a second or two, not a long time but long enough for me. Being in the right position where the puck went meant I had a easy shot on net that could be a possible goal unless its a bad day and I miss the net. Without thinking and being the type of player I am with a left handed stick, I put my stick between my legs dragging the puck with it and shot it with a backhand towards top shelf. Smith was still on the left side of the net so basically, I had a wide open net. I don’t really score that often so for my goal celebration, bear hugged by both Jeff and Jaret, I was trapped between them for a few seconds before they let me go. Skating back towards my bench to high five my teammates, I sense the tension lift from my shoulders, having not scored in 10 games. I received the puck due to it being my 100th point. Sitting on the bench still smiling, i looked around the arena at all fans here to watch, for a few seconds I catch eyes with Y/N who, like me, is still smiling clapping her hands giving me a thumbs up, even though play has resumed with 50 seconds left, my goal was scored exactly 5 seconds ago. Shuffling down the bench to allow the others to sit when coach called for the second line to go on. At that very moment, I decided I will play until I can’t physically move.  
The sound of a horn going off broke me from my thoughts, signaling the end of the second period. “ Good job boys!!” someone in the stands yelled, they were seated near the tunnel we go down to reach the locker rooms. Walking towards my stall and sitting, Coach starts his speech with the same thing every game, catching my attention “Alright boys! That was a good second period but you have to watch your turnovers. There wasn’t really that many this game but still. We practiced puck control, passing, shooting, edge work along the boards, use it! Kempy that was a good goal, using speed to get to the puck first, battle in the corner, looking at where to pass to that was good. And I am not just saying it to him, I am telling everyone, you all did good out there. Alright? Ok get ready for 3rd, keep up the good work here boys, we got this!”. Coach never really said that much in his speech. Finally , someone said something and the joking began. We figured out over the years that joking in between periods keeps us loose. While everyone talked, I was busy texting Y/N.  
                 Putting back on the equipment I took off, Anze decides to start bugging me a tradition we do before every game  “ So Adrian, what do you with Y/N when you are alone?” He questioned me, more of a joke than asking because of how young of a couple we were “Well” I begin while walking towards the door “I’d rather not say it in here” I smiled smugly at him, who was sitting at the back of the locker room. “Ohhhh” everyone, who heard me say it, yelled out. We may be young but we seem to act like a couple who have together for many years and the team liked to tease us about it. “ Let’s go Kings Let’s go Let’s go Kings Let’s go” people starting chanting when they some us walking out to the ice, I loved hearing that.
Since my line isn’t playing the first faceoff in the third period, I take a seat on the bench, bumping shoulders with who ever slides next to me then lean forward to rest my arms on the boards. I take this time to think back on my relationship with Y/N, smiling about how we were friends before we fell in love. We've known each other since we were 5, we met in kindergarten and stayed friends since then. I asked her to move to America when I got drafted back in 2014, she said she loved to and went on up until we moved looking up everything about LA, the best places to eat at, she even found our current apartment the same one we have been living in since we got here. I let her choose the decorations because she always wanted to decorate her first apartment. It was only when we got here is when I confessed that I feel love with her, I was a little scared of what her reaction would have been but it useless because she too was in love with me.
A pat on my shoulder from Coach warns me that when the current line on the ice comes back to the bench, my line goes on so I tell myself to stop daydreaming and focus. The third period continues with the team getting a one goal lead over our opponents and we battle to keep it which leads to us winning the game, everyone is excited as the crowd cheers as the end of the game horn goes off.
About a hour later, I exit the locker room in search of my love in the hallway with the other families and stop as soon as I spot her playing with Trevor Lewis’s twins. Immediately I start to think about the future with her which happens a lot like almost everyday, she is the type of women your parents would want you to be with and my parents are very happy with that. Y/N stands up when Trevor’s wife tells her I am waiting for her, walking to me after saying bye to the Lewis family. When she is close, I wrap my arms around her like after every home game and she does the same. “Congrats on the W Ads” Y/N says as she pulls out of the hug “Thx I couldn’t have done it without my good luck charm cheering me on” I smile making her smile and blush, ”let’s go home” we walk towards the exit hand in hand.       
#this is shit! How do I even fix this?! Welp I guess I will leave it how it is for now#
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Adrian Kempe - Heated moments
He’ll I’m wondering if you can do a imagine with Adrian Kempe or Tyler seguin with a song we don’t talk anymore or wolves ( you get to decide what player and song ) but with a twist of a happy ending? Ps, I’m sorry if this is too much. 
“Oh. Okay well don’t look now but lover boy is here.” Maggie said as she bite down on her solo cup a smile forming on her lips as she saw your face.
Now, don’t get it wrong you did like Adrian but you heard stories about hockey players. You’ve had your heart broken too many times, and you knew that it couldn’t take another one anytime soon. 
However, Adrian didn’t like that answer. He was more of a “I’ll show you guy.” He was going to show you that he was good for you even if you didn’t want him too. 
“This might be counted as stalking Kempe.” You smirked. Maggie smiled before leaving you two alone. 
“It’s not counted as stalking if someone invited me.” He grinned back. He made sure he got close enough to you, but not so close that it came off as creepy. He knew you liked the way he smelled and he was sure to use that to his advantage. You would be lying if you said it didn’t work. 
“And who was that?” You asked placing your palm on his chest. The tingly feeling shot through your body. 
“Maggie.” He grinned taking your cup out of your hand and took a drink. “Whiskey? My kind of girl.” 
You rolled your eyes but there was no denying the smile on your face. You pulled your hand away from his chest and grabbed your drink back. 
“Just one date Y/N. It’s not going to hurt.” He smiled trying again what felt like the umpteenth time. You had to admit, no man has even chased you this much. That also scared you. What if once he got you he would be bored with you. 
Your face fell at the thought and you pushed yourself off the wall, but Adrian stopped you.
“At least dance with me?” He asked as the tune of Wolves filled the room. You did like the song, so you agreed.
A smile formed on his face as he dragged you into the middle of the room, with all the other drunk people. He made sure to keep you close to him. You kept you eyes on him as you danced around him. For a moment you let your walls down and you like it. It felt like you two were the only ones in the room.  It felt nice, but then he lean in for a kiss and your walls locked back up. He knew he fucked up but he wasn’t about to let you go that fast.
He reached for your hand and pulled you in for a hug. 
“I’m sorry. I just got caught up in the moment.” He said with sorrow. “I won’t do it again.” 
You pulled back to look at him, hoping that the feelings you had on the dance floor were gone but they weren’t in fact they were stronger. As much as you were scared you leaned in anyways. Adrian was shocked at first, but once he realized that this was really happening he grabbed you face, his fingers laced in your hair as he deepened the kiss. You pulled away first already missing his lips. You gave him a smirk.
“I’m free tomorrow night by the way.” You grinned as you walked away leaving the swed, shocked on the dance floor. 
-Julianne
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pierrelucdisaster · 4 years
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Did you get any good adrian shots? I couldn't watch the game. I miss his pretty face.
hello, friend. I felt the end of this message. I have no idea why these last two games have given us barely any Kempe shots. I managed to find one good shot and another one that was really short, but I will try to make something out of them for you. Hang tight, I will post them in a little while!
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ladylooch · 1 year
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40- Adrian Kempe
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A/N: The people want Kempe. and I am the people pleaser of this story. Congrats to 🧃 IRL on 40! Can't wait for the playoffs.
Also, yes I had to mention Kevin, okay. I MISS HIM. But this is about Juice. Promise.
And can we please appreciate this GIF that literally made my heart skip when I saw it. Good GAWDDDDDDD.
Word Count: 967
Warnings: drinking, implied smut, fluffffffff, swearing (always with me)
40 goals, I think to myself as I wait with a few other girls for our boys to join us after their season closing win against the Anaheim Ducks. I smile against my straw, pausing from slurping up more of my margarita. 
What a year Adrian has had. I can’t wait for him to get here so I can squeeze him.
“They’re coming!” Ines Kopitar squeals, placing her drink back on the bar and rushing forward. I turn to watch, seeing her and the captain meet with a sloppy kiss. She’s a few drinks in and Anze has to catch her as she sways to the left. 
Adrian is right behind them. His eyes meet mine. We grin at each other, maneuvering around the people between us to come together. 
“Hi!” I squeal at him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. He collapses me into him, strong hands pressing into my middle back.
“Hi.” He murmurs close to my ear, pressing his nose into my temple. 
“You are incredible. I’m so, so proud of you, baby.” I pull back so we can share a kiss. Our lips meld perfectly in sync. “Mmm. Been wanting to do that all night.” His beard tickles my face as he nuzzles our noses.
“Me too.” He reaches into the pocket of his dark jacket. “Brought you something.”
“Ah!” I squeal excitedly, grabbing the white, Kings bucket hat from his hands. “My hat!” I squeal, speaking of the Kings bucket hat I had bought in an emergency circumstance after forgetting a hat to lay out on Hermosa Beach. This fashionable hat lead to our meeting and our eventual friendship turning into love.
“I had to.” He insists, biting his bottom lip as I put it on. “Just as good as that first day.” He hooks his pointer finger under my chin, bringing our lips together again. This time, his tongue slides against mine in a hotter kiss.
“You deserve a drink.” I murmur against his lips as we peck at each other.
“I think so.” He chuckles, wrapping an arm around my neck to keep me close. I link my fingers loosely with his, gliding my thumbs across his rings. As we wait for the bartender to come back, Adrian presses his nose into my hair.
“Anyone give you trouble?” He wonders. The King were at Honda Center tonight and with the fierce, freeway rivalry, it can get a little tense sitting amongst opposing fans. 
“No.” I shrug. “We were surrounded by Kings fans. It was actually really fun.” 
“That’s good. I was a bit worried about you.”
“Is that why you kept looking at me?” I raise an eyebrow. His constant glances were uncharacteristic tonight.
“You noticed?”
“Yeah. The girls in front of me thought you were looking at them though.” I adjust my voice higher. “OhmyGOD. He looked at us AGAIN!” I squeal, stomping my feet excitedly. His laughter wraps round us, making my chest warm from where it settles.
“Did you break their hearts?”
“No. It was kinda cute.”
“She’s beautiful and sweet.” He whispers, leaning in for another smooch.
“Fuck, I am so single.” Quinton mutters from behind me.
“Keep your head up, QB.” Adrian murmurs, without looking away from me. “You’ll find this.”
“You’re so sappy now.” I laugh at him, flicking my tongue against his lips.
“I’m just having a great fucking night.” He unwraps himself from me as the bartender puts his shot down.
“Juice for juice is on the house tonight. Congrats!” 
“Thanks, man.” Adrian tosses the shot of tequila back, then sets the empty glass back on the bar. “That is good shit.” He moans as the Clase Azul slides down his throat. “You want one?”
“No.” 
Adrian motions to the bartender who gives a thumbs up in acknowledgement. The shots are flowing around the team, everyone taking an opportunity to cheers to Adrian and the Kings incredible year. We all acknowledge Kevin Fiala, who is tucked at home with his wife after an injury. By the time we get to the last shot, I’m pushing mine towards Ines, knowing I’m going to be the one driving us home. Adrian is loose, laughing with our friends, while his hands drift around my body like we are in private.
I pull away from him and he snaps his gaze to me in annoyance. 
“Why.”
“I have to pee.” I whine, holding him back from pulling me in again.
“Hurry.”
“Okay.” I roll my eyes and work my way to the back of the restaurant. 
It’s a quick in and out trip before my heels lead me back along the tiled floor to my superstar.
“Let’s get out of here.” Adrian intercepts me at the corner of the bar.
“Okay.” I shrug, not caring if we stick around. “I’m just going to say goodbye.”
“Nah. We’ll get caught up longer.” He steps forward, making me take a step back towards the exit.
“Kinda rude when everyone showed up for you.” I wrap my arms around his neck, giving him a look.
“The boys understand.” He drags his eyes down my body. “Half of them congratulated me on getting you in bed tonight.” I toss my head back. My hair swings down my jacket, brushing against his hands around me. He gathers it in his hand to hold me like that. He leans forward, pressing his lips against the front of my throat. I swallow in anticipation. He sucks my skin into his mouth making me whine.
“You’re the only one I want to keep celebrating with…. All… night… long.” He says between suckles. 
“Say less.” I breathe out to him, tugging him with me as I walk backwards. We stumble into someone, giggling an apology then fly out the door before we can be stopped.
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whockeywhore · 5 years
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No Risk No Reward feat. Adrian Kempe
“Where are you going?” Kelsey shouted over the music. 
I watched her lips as she spoke but came away empty, pointing over my shoulder towards the door. “To get some air.” 
“What?” 
“To get some air!” 
“What?!” 
I abandoned my efforts and waved her off, turning towards the balcony of the club. Bright lights swirled and reflected off of the door as I slid it open, the night air embracing me like an old friend. I could still feel the bass out here, the rhythmic thumping vibrating through the wrought iron railing I set my hands on, but the overall quiet of Los Angeles settled over me in an instant. 
Setting my water glass on one of the patio tables, I took a few steps closer to the edge and inhaled deeply before closing my eyes. There was a brief clip of music behind me as the door opened and shut again and I stilled, mildly annoyed that my moment of peace had been disturbed. 
“Are you the one responsible for the mechanical bull?” 
Adrian sidled up next to me with a beer in each hand and grinned. I drank him in and returned with my own, shaking my head slowly. “That would be Kelsey’s idea. She’s the one wearing the cowboy hat.” 
“Everyone’s wearing a cowboy hat inside. Speaking of, I didn’t peg you as the Wild West type.” I snorted a laugh and fought the urge to roll my eyes, turning my attention back to the skyline in front of me. He nudged my side and nodded back towards the door when I looked at him. “What gives?” 
“I just- you know Kelsey.” 
“And I know you... sort of. This doesn’t seem like you.” 
“Thought I’d do something different this year, you know. Change it up and throw a real party.” 
“Then why are you hiding out on the balcony?” He pulled out a chair at one of the patio tables next to us and motioned for me to sit down, taking his own seat next to mine a moment later. He slid one of the beers he’d brought out in front of me and I shook my head. 
“I can’t. I’m driving.” 
“On your birthday? Not a chance. I’ll drive you home.” 
“Adrian-” 
“Morgan.” He tipped the bottle in my direction and I finally took it, sipping long and slow before setting it back down. “Atta girl. Now tell me, why the rodeo?”
“I wanted it.” 
“You’re not even dressed up.” He nodded to the plastic tiara that sat atop my head and raised an eyebrow. “Except for that.” 
I reached up to tug it off and dropped it in front of me, eyeing the gaudy pink rhinestones that spelled out ‘birthday girl’. “She made me wear it all day.” 
“Even at work?” 
“Yup.” 
“You poor thing.” He sat silent as I took another sip of my beer and turned his chair a bit to look at me. 
“Mhmm. I had presentations. I met partners at the firm like this.” He grimaced and I pressed on. “There was a sash too but it ‘accidentally’ got caught in the shredder this morning.” 
“That’s a shame.” 
“Isn’t it.” I leaned forward and set my head in my hands, rubbing my tired eyes until my vision blurred. The traffic below disguised the groan I let out and Adrian squeezed my shoulder. 
“What’s wrong?” 
“I wanna go home.” It came out fast and loud, far too loud to explain away, so I continued. “I hate this. I hate clubs. The music is too loud and everyone is sweating- it smells like a farm in there.” 
“Then the bull makes sense.” 
“Nothing makes sense today. I’m twenty seven years old. Twenty seven! That’s three years away from thirty!” My chest felt tight and I picked at the label on the bottle to steady myself. “And I have nothing to show for it but a... shitty party that I didn’t want.” 
“So why’d you ask for it?” 
“I didn’t. I- I got really upset a few days ago, thinking about where I am in life. I feel like I haven’t lived, like I haven’t accomplished anything.” 
“Morgan, you bought a house this year. You made partner-” 
“At an accounting firm. I made partner at an accounting firm, Adrian. I do taxes. I count money and answer emails, I have the same schedule every single day.” 
“And you don’t want that?” 
“I do, I just... I want more. I want to do something without thinking about it, you know? I mean, every bit of my life is planned out, scheduled to the minute. I know what I’m going to eat tomorrow, when I’m going to the gym. My clothes are already laid out on my bed.” 
“That’s not a bad thing.” 
“Isn’t it? I knew, going into tonight, that I was coming home alone. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I’d leave this party, climb into bed, and fall asleep with Golden Girls on like I always do. I feel like I’ve lost my optimism, like I know exactly what tomorrow holds.” 
He pursed his lips and slid the second beer over to me. I fingered the small pile of label peelings as I sipped and he leaned forward. 
“You know you can change that, right?” 
“I feel like it’s too late.” 
“It’s not.” 
“It is, Adrian. Those firsts, those crazy weekends you think back on and still can’t believe, they’re for college. One night stands, tattoos, spontaneous trips... I missed out.” 
“Says who? You can do any of that at any point in your life, you just have to take the risk.” He took my hand in his and my stomach flipped at the glint in his eye when I looked up. “You want to tonight?” 
“What?” 
“Take the risk? I know an artist -the one who did my sleeve- he owes me a favor.” 
My cheeks warmed as thought it over, heart racing with the promise of a night to remember. Adrian squeezed my fingers and I stood, downing my beer and dropping the bottle onto the table. 
“Let’s do it.” 
“Really?” The excitement in his voice sealed my decision and I nodded, starting towards the door. My hand was still in his when he stopped me, reaching out to snatch up my tiara. I ducked my head as he placed it on my head, brushing a few errant strands of hair from my face. “You ready?” 
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tessisawriter · 5 years
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Birthday Surprise (Adrian Kempe)
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Request (anonymous): Can you do number six with Adrian Kempe pls :)
A/N: I was so excited to write this because the Kings are my second-favorite team and L.A. is like a second home to me. Also, Kempe is criminally underrated on this site and I couldn’t let that go on any longer 💜🖤
Warnings: One swear word, mentions of anxiety
Word Count: 1.1k
The minute you woke up, you reached over to the other side of the bed, expecting to feel your boyfriend, Adrian, but you only came into contact with empty bed sheets.
You sat up just as the door opened and Adrian came through it, balancing something in his hand.
“Happy birthday, babe! When did you get up?”
“Just now,” you replied, “And thank you, babe. Is that a tray you’re holding?”
“Maybe,” Adrian said, and when he put it down at the bottom of the bed, you saw that it was indeed a tray full of your favorite breakfast: chocolate chip pancakes, fruit, and orange juice.
“Aw, you made me breakfast in bed? How did I get so lucky?”
“Only the best for my beautiful, hard-working girlfriend,” Adrian said, sitting on the bed next to you. He turned your head towards his and kissed you on the lips before pulling away.
You threw your arms around him and murmured, “I love you, babe,” while burying your face in his neck.
“I love you, too,” he replied. “Eat up because I want to show you your birthday present before I go to practice.”
“Wait, what time is it now?”
“9AM.”
Your stomach dropped; he had practice at 10:30AM. “Shit, Adrian, I’m so sorry! Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“You looked so peaceful, and you were tossing and turning a lot last night.”
He was right: you didn’t have a good night’s sleep. You were a second-semester junior at UCLA and generally had an easy commute from yours and Adrian’s beachfront condo in Santa Monica to Brentwood. Adrian usually had an equally easy drive to the Kings practice facility in Manhattan Beach, but things were going to get complicated because your car stopped working while you were driving down Ocean Avenue two days ago. Thankfully, it was early enough in the day that Adrian was able to get you and wait for the tow truck before driving you the rest of the way home, but you couldn’t share one car for long. You were lucky that Adrian had the day off yesterday and let you take the car to school, and that you had no classes today because it was Friday. Hopefully, you could get everything resolved before the weekend was over.
“Thanks, babe, but I feel bad that you’re rushing around now,” was all you said as you ate your pancakes.
“It’s no big deal: you need your rest.”
When you finished eating your breakfast, Adrian jumped off the bed and said, “Get dressed. I have a surprise for you outside.”
“You spoil me too much,” you said, playfully hitting your boyfriend on the arm as you got out of bed and grabbed a pink and blue floral sundress from the closet. You took off your old UCLA t-shirt and shorts before pulling the dress over your head.
“Damn, babe, you’re so sexy.” Adrian closed the distance between you and kissed you. It got heated very quickly, and you pulled away before you got too carried away.
“Don’t you have to show me the surprise before practice?” you asked.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Adrian said begrudgingly.
“Don’t worry, we can pick up where we left off tonight.” You winked at him before going to the underwear drawer and picking a fresh pair before going into the bathroom to fix your hair.
When you came out of the bathroom, Adrian was holding one of his purple ties in his hand.
“What is that for?” you asked.
“Makeshift blindfold. I want you to be really surprised,” he responded, chuckling.
“You’re crazy, Adrian.”
“But you love me,” Adrian said as he walked behind you and tied the tie around your eyes.
“Yes, I do,” you replied.
“Can you see anything?” Adrian asked, and you could feel the wind from Adrian waving his hand in front of your face.
“Nope,” you said.
“All right, let’s go outside,” he said, picking you up in his arms. You squealed, not expecting him to carry you outside, and Adrian kissed the top of your head as he carried you out of your apartment and down the three flights of stairs to the front door. Adrian put you down to open the door, but as soon as he did so, he picked you back up and carried you outside.
“Okay, we’re here,” Adrian said as he put you down for what you hoped was the last time. You liked when he carried you, but you did not like being blindfolded.
“Can I take the blindfold off now?” you whined.
“Patience is a virtue, Y/N,” Adrian chuckled, but he untied the tie, letting you see again. “Surprise!” Adrian shouted.
Your mouth dropped open. Parked in front of your condo was the most beautiful silver Mercedes convertible with a red bow on the front window. You weren’t a big car person, but the car was gorgeous.
“Oh my God, Adrian, is this for me?” You were shocked.
“Of course it is.” He smiled.
“Please don’t take this as me being ungrateful, but why did you get me a new car? Insurance is going to pay for it.”
“I just wanted to,” he replied, running his hands through his hair.
You raised an eyebrow. “I know you’re lying.”
“Yeah, how’s that?”
“You only ever run your hands through your hair when you’re either nervous or lying about something. It’s your tell.”
He sighed. “All right, fine. The insurance company called yesterday while you were taking a nap and refused to pay for a new car. I knew your anxiety would be on overdrive if you had to fight them on it, so I just took care of it. Don’t worry, it has insurance and everything…”
You cut him off by launching into his arms, hugging him tightly.
“Wait, you’re not mad at me?” Adrian seemed shocked.
“Of course not! You didn’t want me to have to worry about fighting the insurance company. I don’t know how to thank you, babe.”
“You don’t have to thank me. Happy birthday, angel,” Adrian said.
You kissed your boyfriend like no one was watching.
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carey-pricemas · 7 years
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You Found Me Part Two- Auston Matthews (by anon)
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Omg y’all. PART TWO IS HERE! You’re going to LOVE it… and hate me because I’m posting it without remorse even though I know how it ends! But there is a part three coming! Idk when but anon is nice enough to write it for us so… YAY! Enjoy guys!
Warning: mentions of gun, robbery
Part One
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Auston was long gone by the time you woke up the next morning.
The only trace of anyone being there was the folded blanket and pillow placed on top of your desk. It wasn’t until you got up that you saw he had left a crisp 100 Canadian Dollar bill on top of it.
It was when you had turned to look away and that you saw it. It had somehow gotten wedged in the small space between your bed and the wall last night, you hadn’t even noticed it until now. Light gray, it was so familiar. Too familiar.
It couldn’t be.
You crept towards it, grabbing the rim and yanking it out from its place, retracting your grip on it and letting it drop on your bed when you saw the entirety of it.
It was.
You turned the mesh hat in your hands, letting out a little bit of air as you saw the initials scrawled on the inside of the rim.
AM + Y/IN
He’d taken you to Blue Jays games. You’d sat in the VIP box behind home plate with him, seats you had never even gotten close to in the 19 years you’d been a Blue Jays fan. He wanted to go to one the next night, and before he texted one of the strings he could easily pull to get the tickets, you turned to him asking if he’d ever been to a game as a real fan and not a celebrity.
He’d gotten insulted by the question, even more so when you said he probably couldn’t handle it. You knew he wouldn’t back away from that. So he let you buy the cheap nosebleeds and force him onto the subway into the Rogers Centre. You forced him to take a picture with the mascot, Ace, as the guy inside the suit freaked out when he realized he was posing with Auston Matthews. You got ice cream in the little helmets, made him hit in the FanFest batting cages and he got so into the game, cheering loud when the Bautista hit a home run and even booing the other team.
You had been dating him for almost a month, but it was like you were seeing a complete other side of him. A much realer side. You bought him the hat, the hat you were holding now, and it was as he was writing your initials and looked up, his features concealed by sunglasses and a different hat blown up on the kiss cam. The camera never seemed to leave him alone.
“Fuck it.” He had thrown of his sunglasses and hat and grabbed your chin, surprising you and pissing off every teenage girl who was watching. The two of you had to leave shortly after that. You were all over social media and it sparked all the gossip and rumors about your relationship, but you didn’t care. That was the day you realized you loved him.
You stared at the hat in your hands, trying to restrain yourself.
Don’t do it. Don’t do it.
But it was too late.
You were already bringing the hat to your nose, inhaling the fresh scent of his shampoo mixed with hockey. You never knew hockey could be a scent until you met Auston. Of course, you never realized how much you could love someone until you met him either.
Or how much someone could break you.
You should’ve just thrown the hat out and spent the money at some bar, but it was like the snapback had some kind of hex on you. You couldn’t bring yourself to do it. So it sat there on your dresser and you had to look at the taunting Blue Jays logo every time you were in your room.
Then you had enough.
You had just come back from the gym, and the second you walked into your room you got some kind of courage-most likely fueled by anger-and you grabbed the hat and money.
It wasn’t until you were standing in front of his door, not quite sure how you’d gotten there, that you started to lose your nerve. You considered knocking and fleeing down the stairwell next to you, but he would know it was you and that was even more coward that coming here.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
A moment of strength suddenly led you to knocking on the door. You pulled back your arm, immediately regretting knocking, but your legs held steady as you heard footsteps coming to the door.
He stood there, looking tired as ever, and you saw the suitcase behind him in the hallway. He’d probably just gotten back from a road trip. Your dumb ass was too stupid to check.
“Y/N.” You hated it when he said your name.
“Um, hi. I-you left this at my place the-the the other night.” You held the hat out for him to take. It took him a second, but you saw it dawn over him as he examined the cap and put two and two together.
“This is the hat from when we-”
“Yeah.” You cut him off, not wanting to hear what he had to say. You pulled out the bill from your sweatshirt pocket.
“Um, you left this here too.” He knitted his eyebrows together as he looked up at you.
“I left that on purpose. It’s as a thank you.” You looked down, shoving the money towards him again, which he denied again.
“Please just take it.” He shook his head.
“It’s an apology and a thank you. I’m sorry for showing up that night as shit-faced as I was, I shouldn’t have done that to you. And for what I did to you two months ago, I still regret it.” You looked up angrily, grasping the paper in your hand tightly.
“You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to break my heart, show up drunk at my place, tell me you love me over and over again and leave me money just so you can feel better about yourself for all the shit you did to me.” He threw his hands up.
“What do you want me to do? I apologized a hundred times! I sent you flowers. I bought you drinks, I waited for you after class just to talk to you. I told you that I love you, that there’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t love you and don’t regret what I did. Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”
You wanted to slap him in the face, to tell him to leave you alone. You should have. But you were so close to him. You could smell that all-too-familiar scent. And just like with the hat, your recklessness became dangerous again and you were standing on your tiptoes and yanking his head down and your lips were locked on his before you could think twice about it. A million firecrackers exploded at once, and all you could think about was how you wanted more of him.
“Auston?” The voice behind him startled both of you, sending you jumping back from his embrace. You looked past him, and that’s when you saw her.
Tall, her body glistening with water and a towel barely covering her, a matching one wrapped up in her hair. Her skin was flawless, her face glowing without any makeup, and just by the way she stood she looked graceful. She wasn’t the one you had found him making out with, but did it matter? She was obviously a model, and he preyed on them all the same.
Auston’s eyes went from her to you, seeing the look on your face as you jumped to conclusions.
“Y/N, I can ex-” But you were already gone, flinging open the stairwell door and flying down the stairs, dizzying yourself from the sharp turns. You shoved open the door to the outdoors, letting you out into an alley that your car clearly wasn’t parked in. You sighed, picking right and starting to speed walk away, hearing the door slam a second later and hearing footsteps behind you as he easily caught up to you.
“Y/N, please wai-” You yanked away from his hand on your shoulder. He put his hands up in surrender. “I can explain.” You whipped around, the tears already welling up in your eyes.
“Explain what? That you got caught sleeping on two girls at once again? And for a split second I actually thought you changed. I’m so fucking stupid.”
“Look, I know what that looks like, okay? I know. She’s a friend from Michigan in town for a modeling gig and her hotel lost the booking and she called me. She’s a friend, Y/N, that’s all. The only girl I want is you.” He took a step closer to you, and all you could do was will yourself not to cry as you shook your head.
“It’s the same bullshit as always. Have a nice life.” You turned on your heel, stomping away in the snow before he could stop you again. But you felt him on you again, his hands on your shoulder and arm.
“Get off of me!” You tried to yank out of Auston’s arms, but it only took you half a second to feel how aggressive and harsh the grip was.
This wasn’t Auston.
“Get on the ground. Now!” You didn’t really have a choice in the matter, he was already shoving you to the ground, your face hitting the cold cement hard.
“Hands on your head!” The deep voice yelled again, your scraped hands left the ground and moved to your hair, trembling as your heart thumped faster and faster. You felt a shadow standing over you, leaning forward to get a better look.
“No purse.” This was a higher voice. There were two of them. Which meant-
“Wallet, now!” The deep voice yelled again, and you heard a quiet click, a shudder running through your body.
“I don’t have it on m-Stop pointing the gun at her!” You hadn’t even realized you had been crying, but that one sentence, spoken in Auston’s distressed voice, made them fall hard and fast, dripping onto the sidewalk.
“Wallet now, unless you and your girl want to get shot.” You knew he would hand it over if you were in danger, no doubt. If he had it.
“I told you I don’t have i-Don’t fucking touch her!” The shadow had crept closer to you, clearly about to touch you. You heard one punch, two punches, the shadow disappeared to help his accomplice. You were praying for something to happen. Then you heard the shot ring out.
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Omg right??? I DIED when I read this! BUT IT’S SO GOOD! Let me know what you guys think so I can pass it on! Up next: Adrian Kempe!
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andrewuttaro · 5 years
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New Look Sabres: GM 37 - LA Kings
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3-2 Win
There is a two-fold pretext going into this game. The first one was plain and clear Thursday night in Philadelphia: this team is nothing without Jack Eichel. This team with Eichel is a fringe playoff team as we’ve seen this month. This team without Eichel is a team that would struggle to stay out of a relegation zone. It sounds harsh but yet another massacre in Philadelphia, it seems like every other time we go down there is one waiting for us, proves we need at least some kind of upgrade to make this team more than just the Buffalo Jack Eichels. The other piece of pretext to this game was the meaningfulness of the points in the standings. It’s funny to think of any game in December as providing critical points. Big games exist when they have significance with a broad set of fanbases or in the standings. The relative bigness of this particular game against the LA Kings isn’t really about the Kings. They suck ass again. In a league where many tell you not to even look at the standings until after the New Year the Sabres have been in a playoff spot for… weeks? Entering this game the Sabres had dropped three straight after a decent stretch since Thanksgiving where they most recently won three straight against better competition. Over the weekend they claimed an overtime point against the Islanders but got no points on Tuesday against division rival Toronto before getting clobbered in Philadelphia on Thursday. It was so bad I didn’t even waste breath on postgame. The Maple Leafs are one of four teams who are neck and neck with Buffalo. The Sabres were second in an exceptionally weak Atlantic Division at 39 points Thursday. Montreal, Tampa Bay, Toronto and Florida were all at 38 or 37 points. And so you see now how two points against the Flyers would have meant a lot even though the halfway point of the season is still five games away. Those points never came and now all of the aforementioned teams excluding Tampa have passed Buffalo and we’re out of a playoff spot we somehow held onto for a few weeks. No NHL game is easy but now would be a really good time to get a safe win against the Kings.
For the first half of this game there was a lot to be frustrated about. Luckily most of Buffalo was transfixed on the 4:30 Bills game so there was likely only a half-full arena and a handful of us online angry guys to feel that way about it. For the first period and a half this was a shot-for-shot duel with the LA Kings. 5 years ago we might have celebrated that, but these aren’t 2014’s LA Kings. The latent, trash Kings got the lion share of the nice shots on goal in the first period where they outshot Buffalo 10-6. Linus Ullmark stood tall making some pretty grandiose saves, most of which you probably wanted the defense to prevent. After the massacre in Philadelphia its hard to imagine Carter Hutton getting a start not on a back-to-back. Ullmark is THE GUY now and he’s acting like it. One stop I swore was superhuman where the puck was turned over in the Sabres zone in the midst of quite some traffic. I don’t know how he recognized the turnover mistake of his own team for one and secondly I don’t know how he estimated the trajectory of the backhander so quickly as to snap it up like that. Anyway the first period ended with donuts on the board. The second period began with what they had coming. The Kings continued their shot domination for the first half of the middle frame and Adrian Kempe took advantage of Marco Scandella taking a slapshot from the slot and beat Ullmark. For how much better the basement-dwelling Kings played in the first half of this game it could’ve been 3-0 had it not been for Linus Ullmark’s great game. I really do think the team plays better in front of him and this game compared to last game is going to be exhibit A.
The game continued as a Kings shooting gallery until the Sabres really began intercepting pucks and pushing back toward the midpoint of the game. Jack Eichel got a really great chance right in front of Jonathan Quick that just would not go. This game was still one of those where a stray skate could’ve been the difference of the Kings extending their lead. That Vesey line was taking their turn in front of the LA net when a rebound squirted out to Rasmus Ristolainen who buried it before Quick even knew where it was, 1-1. I’ve been informed Quick has not been good at all this season. I hate to see a good American goaltender down like that but it kinda makes sense when you think of how much the Kings dynasty was built on a defense they no longer have. I mean Drew Doughty is still there but if one all-world defenseman made a defense then Rasmus Dahlin should’ve backstopped us to a Cup run last season. For all the bitching and moaning about this game showing we’re not any better than some of the worst teams in the league Jack Eichel didn’t score a goal. None of the players who made October so fun really contributed until the dying minutes of this game. Yesterday afternoon we got the “Black Stallion” Marco Scandella to score a goal. That nickname was the imagination of Dan Dunleavy calling the game and I think I join a choir of folks absolutely detesting it. Call him what you will I guess as long as we can call him gone in July. Scandella received a pretty innocuous pass at the point from Sam Reinhart and put one on net. It went in and the home team had their first lead of the game with a little over three minutes left in the second period. The Kings tried to respond before the middle frame concluded. That sweet Linus Ullmark save I described earlier was a save on Anze Kopitar with mere moments left on the clock. Through forty minutes it was 2-1 Buffalo though.
The Sabres got some decisive powerplays in the third period; none of them increased their lead because this is the Buffalo Sabres we’re talking about, but they got them! They really did get some dingers off the posts and what have you too. It got a little frustrating. Almost as frustrating as this situation with Eichel is. You may wonder: what issue could you have with Eichel after you basically said this team relies entirely on him in the opening? Well you may have heard he missed the bloodbath of a game in Philadelphia. The thing is he took warmups before being announced as out for the game. Speculation circulated about the flu or an accident nobody saw occur on the ice during those warmups. The most detail we got was a lower body injury which was later retracted. Eichel came back like his normal self in this game so I got to believe it was just the shits arriving right after warmups ended. No matter what it was the NHL counted it as the end of his point streak… or did they? The chances tended toward Buffalo as the third period went on and the Captain almost got a couple saucy ones himself. Eventually the Kings pulled Quick for the extra attacker and Eichel got the puck to Reinhart who got it to Victor Olofsson who chipped in an empty-netter. The game broadcast and several social media posts thereafter referred to Eichel continuing his “personal point streak” which is not only something I’ve never heard before its also something that is quantifiably stupid. Then again other posts left the word personal out and said he’s now on an 18-game point streak. I don’t know if we really need to litigate this but that streak was all some of us Sabres fans had back when the going was tough in November so there is certainly a desire to see it continue.
Ithaca, NY’s own Dustin Brown tipped in a quick goal to pull the Kings within one in the last minute of play but ultimately the goal only served to make a few people down in Tompkins county that much happier and this game ended 3-2 Sabres. For a brief few hours while Buffalo was busy cheering the Bills to almost beating the Patriots in Foxboro, the Sabres were back in a playoff spot at second in the division. That Flyers game might prove to cost the Sabres more than just their Thursday night because the Leafs won last night as well and took over that divisional spot. Buffalo is only one point back and could leapfrog both Florida and Toronto Monday night, but both those clubs also play tomorrow night, and everyone wants to go into the Christmas break on a high note. I’d put my money on the Sabres not sitting in a playoff spot come Christmas morning, but I want to hear what you think so like, share and comment on this blog to let me know what you think.
The aforementioned Christmas break also coincides with a roster freeze that is already in effect meaning no moves for Jason Botterill… as if one were imminent. I think the need for a trade for a forward is a near unanimous opinion of the fanbase right now. However I will be a dissenting voice on the guy at the center of the Sabres last big top-six trade Jeff Skinner. The talk of him being upset not playing with Eichel on the top line is the kinda Coach-blaming knee jerk reaction that is so normal for us. It shouldn’t be. We’re trained to chase coaches out of town at this point and I really don’t think we have to right now. Yes, yesterday was another weird defenseman-playing-forward rotation and I too don’t like scratching Colin Miller out of any games but Ralph Krueger’s benefits to this club far outweigh his detriments right now. A lot of it is stuff we only see in streaks here and there, the not-so-sexy stuff like team cohesion and overall competitiveness when playing without the puck. Those are little things that make visible a behind-the-scenes reality of a Coach really revolutionizing this team. By all means take issue with the trash first half of this game and the poor play we still see too often from the Sabres, but don’t look for ways to blame it on the Coach. Midseason thoughts will go up in a couple weeks which will allow plenty of time and space for deeper conversations about the state of this team. For now let’s go wrap up the pre-Christmas schedule in Ottawa tomorrow. Let’s Go Buffalo!
Thanks for Reading.
P.S. December so far is shaping up to be the streaky month. Three wins followed by three losses. The good news is if that trend continues they’ll beat Ottawa tomorrow and split the home and home series with the Bruins after Christmas.
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Newyork rangers 😎
Strengths:
Hits. This surprised me, I won’t lie. The Rangers were 5th in the league with 2128 hits. That being said, their leader in hits was nearly half the league leader: Skjei’s 178 vs Reaves’ 305.
Goaltending. it might be surprising that I’m listing Lundqvist’s .907 save% and 3.07 GAA as a strength, but the Rangers gave up the 3rd most shots per game and Lundqvist faced 1700 shots, which was 12th most in the league, despite he had only played 52 games. Lundqvist won the save streak at the All Star Game and is still a great goalie. Lundqvist is the 6th all time most winningest goalie in league history and still climbing up the list.
Weaknesses:
In short, everything. This team needs some serious rebuilding, anything I say would just be the tip of the iceberg.
Penalty killing. The Rangers were 27th in the league for penalty killing at 78.2%. High 70s aren’t bad, but they could be up a few more percents.
Defence. The Rangers were the 24th in the league for goals against, and they allowed more goals than they scored. And, as mentioned above, they allowed the 3rd most shots per game (33.8/per game).
Offence. They were 23rd in the league for goals for. They had just 1 player to score 30 goals this season, 11 of which came on the power play.
Give aways. They were 3rd in the league for most give aways.
The Rangers need to improve everything.
Who I think they should trade:
I’m going to be honest here, I have no idea. I’ve spent over 2 hours looking at numbers for this team and I have no idea who they should trade. I’m sorry!
Who I think they should trade for/or sign:
Offence. The offence of the Rangers isn’t good. They need a lot more of it. Both young and veteran players would do well for the Rangers.
A headliner UFA would be great for the Rangers to pick up.
Artemi Panarin or Matt Duchene would be great.
And a couple good wingers with lower AAV coming from teams with cap space issues would also be beneficial for the Rangers.
Adrian Kempe, Andreas Johnsson, Andre Burakovsky and Zach Aston-Reese being some possibilities.
The Rangers could also look at players in their final year of their contract that might be looking at signing with a new team once they become a free agent. In that case, their current team might be wanting to off load them.
Taylor Hall, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Charlie Coyle could fit nicely on the Rangers’ roster in that case. 
Who I think they should re-sign:
DeAngelo. DeAngelo is a young defencemen who recorded 30 points this season, which is good considering the team. The Rangers should hold on to him.
Buchnevich. Buchnevich had 38 points in 64 games this season and 43 points in 74 games the season before. Not stellar numbers, but definitely some of the better ones on the team. They should hold on to him.
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