#adorable Leo Nolan

[ouatnextgen]

If Descendants characters were apart of the next gen, what do you think their relationships with the other next gen would be (assuming they were the younger siblings of the next gen).

This is finna be a looong one.

Obviously all the siblings love each other, and all the older siblings are protective of the little ones, so I tried not to be too repetitive with the details.

The Mills:

Henry:

He has so many siblings now, oh god

Bobby is slightly more of a handful than he's used to, so he (and Lucy) keep him on his toes

Henry always asks Regina if he was like that as a kid, and her answer is always a smug "Yes"

Bobby likes spending time with Henry's other families (ie, his own and the Swan-Joneses)

Evie's a lot quieter, so he appreciates that

He's very protective of Evie specifically

She could ask him for the moon and the stars, and you know that Henry would find someway to bring them down for her.

Roland:

He knows damn well that Bobby looks up to him a lot, so he tries to put on his best act when he's around

Unfortunately, he is more susceptible to The Eyes than Henry is, so Bobby ends up getting away with waaaaay more stuff with Big Bro Roland

Like Henry, he is also very protective of Evie, and will be the one who teaches her how to kill a man when she's older

Basically, Evie is their little princess, and you don't wanna fuck with her

While Evie doesn't like camping, she will tolerate it when she goes with her father, brothers, and sister.

Robyn:

Robyn's just glad she's not the baby anymore lol

She's the least busy of her siblings, by default of being younger, so she's the one who gets to babysit Bobby and Evie when the adults are busy

She and Bobby like to practice archery and eat dirt together or whatever it is kids do

She's never been very girly, so she and Evie have trouble bonding at times

The Nolans:

Leo:

Leo likes hanging out with little kids, so he never minds babysitting Chad

He's very bossy, however, and seems to be allergic to fun, so Chad doesn't like it when he babysits

Leo can also be kind of preachy about the rules, so Chad will end up getting more lectures from Leo than their parents sometimes

Despite the minor animosity, Leo always wants to be a role model and someone to look up to for Chad

He likes to teach him sword fighting and archery, even when Chad has zero interest or skill for those things

Beck (I can't pick a name for this kid, for now it's Beck):

He and Chad go together like two peas in a pod

Beck's sarcastic outlook paired with Chad's optimism make a fully rounded duo

Beck encourages Chad to commit Crimes, and Chad is the Voice Of Reason

The Hermans/Boyds:

Alex:

Alex is pretty chill with Chloe

Alex feels like a disappointment to their parents, so she is kind of worried that Chloe might be their "replacement"

Chloe basically hero-worships Alex, and dyes her hair blue like how Alex dyes theirs pink

In the future, Chloe ends up being a jock instead of a girly girl, and she and Alex bond over their mother not knowing what to do with either of them

Charlie:

He and Chloe argue (a lot)

Charlie hates sports, and Chloe hates boring nerd junk, so they don't get along

They are the epitome of "only I'M allowed to make fun of my sibling!" If anyone else makes fun of either of them, they get the wrath of the other one

The Briarwoods (Aurora's Family):

PJ:

PJ gets along fine with both Ariana and Audrey

He and Ariana specifically love to banter back and forth, which is hilarious to witness since Ariana wins 99% of the time

He will have tea parties with Audrey and dress up like a princess, and he will slay whichever princess dress she forces on him

Arabella:

The girls aren't actually triplets (Ariana isn't even their sister), but they're so close in age and act so similar, that they're always called triplets

They all love princess stuff, and adore being actual princesses; they all want to move to the Enchanted Forest and have balls

When they get older, they sing a different tune, but stay close

The Swan-Joneses:

Henry:

He has so many siblings now, oh god

Harriett has given Henry a lot of gray hairs; more than Bobby, almost as much as CJ

He likes playing pirate with all of the kids

He always calls Harry 'Killian Jr.'

He's the one who bought CJ her red leather coat, to be more like Emma

He spoils them so much (The Mills kids too, but Regina already spoils them a lot) and always brings them gifts when he visits

Alice:

She loves having such a big family and so many little siblings

She shares her love of books with Harriett, stargazing with Harry, and painting with CJ

She's the sibling that gets sacked with babysitting duty, but she never minds

Hope:

Hope is the "cool" sibling, aka, she lets them get away with more shit than Henry and Alice do

She's part of the reason CJ is Like That

For whatever reason, she's Harry's favorite sibling, which sucks for her, since she's not a fan of little kids

The Golds:

Gideon:

Ben is very quiet, so he'll tag along with Gideon everywhere and no one will even notice

Gideon and Ben have a book club between the two of them

He feels kind of weird that Ben still has that "my dad is the best" attitude, but doesn't have the heart to tell him the whole truth

They tell each other everything, and despite the age difference, are very close

[squid-princess-teach-swallow]

Happy Leo/Aslan Sunday! ☀️

In appreciation of Leo Nolan aka Aslan, I've decided to host a reblog game each Sunday! I'll ask a question related to our lovely sunshine baby, and y'all will reblog with your answers! Anyone can participate, it's always wonderful to find some appreciation and love for our cute sun!

To kick off our reblog game, here's the first question:

What made you choose Leo as your love interest?

If you aren't a Leo romancer but still adore him, you can talk about why you love him as a friend!

Reblog this post with your answer! Let's show our adorable little lion some love!

Tags under the cut: (if you'd like to be tagged let me know!)

@aslanvlad @hojiteaversion @robintora

[themomsandthecity]

Phoenix, Oscar, Leo, Arlo, and 170 More of the Cutest Names For Baby Boys

Brainstorming baby names can be one of the most fun (and important) aspects of planning for the arrival of your little one, but it can also feel really overwhelming. If you don't have certain requirements, like wanting a name that runs in the family, the possibilities can seem endless. Our names are the first thing tied to our identities, and we know how daunting that sounds - so we're here to ease you of any stress you have on your hunt for cute baby boy names. Choosing a cute boy name that will be equally fitting for an adorable infant and the adult he grows into can be a challenge, which is why we compiled this list of cute, unique boy names. You're sure to find an option that flow well with your last name or other kids' names among the cute names for boys we rounded up here. You might even find two that you like to help you out with a middle name option. (Oh, and if you want options for cute girls' names, we have you covered for that too, with our list of cute girl names.) Cute Names For Boys A Abe, Addison, Aiden, Amir, Amos, Ansel, Archie, Ari, Arlo, Asher, Atticus, August, Austin, Avery, Axel B Beau, Beckett, Bentley, Benicio, Benito, Benjamin, Billy, Bishop, Blake, Bodhi, Briggs, Brody, Brooks C Caleb, Campbell, Carter, Caspian, Charlie, Cody, Colby, Cole, Colton, Cooper, Crew, Crosby, Cruz D Dallas, Dash, Dawson, Dax, Deacon, Diego, Dillan, Donovan, Dorian, Duke, Dustin, Dylan E Easton, Eden, Eli, Elias, Elliott, Emerson, Emmett, Ender, Enrique, Enzo, Everest, Ewan, Ezra F Felipe, Finley, Finn, Fletcher, Ford, Frankie, G Gabriel, Gage, Gavin, Graham, Grant, Gray, Greyson, Griffin, Gus Related: Waverly, Merritt, and 103 Other Unique and Beautiful Girls' Names H Harley, Henry, Hudson, Hugh, Hurley I Ian, Ira, Isaac, Isaiah J Jacob, Jack, Jaime, Jasper, Jaxon, Jayden, Jett, Jude, Julian K Kai, Khalil, Kingsley, Knox L Larkin, Leo, Liam, Logan, Luke M Mason, Maverick, Max, Memphis, Miles, Milo, Morris N Nate, Neo, Nico, Noah, Noe, Nolan O Oden, Oliver, Omari, Oscar, Otis, Owen P Peyton, Phoenix, Pierce Q Quentin, Quinn Related: 50 Adorable and Meaningful Names For Baby Boys in 2022 R Remy, Rhett, Rhys, Roman, Ronin, Rowan, Ryan, Ryder S Samuel, Sawyer, Santiago, Sebastian, Shane, Silas T Tate, Theodore, Titan, Tobias, Toby, Trenton U Uri V Valentino, Van, Virgil W Walker, Wesley, Wren, Wrenynn, Wyatt X Xander, Xavi, Xavier Y Yasir, Yates, Yonah, York, Yunis, Yuri Z Zachary, Zaiden, Zander, Zane https://www.popsugar.com/family/Cute-Boy-Names-43713664?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

[sutzrainbow]

You know a movie that handled its celebrity cast really, really well? TMNT.

As in the 2007 CGI movie. You know who the celebrities played? The supporting cast. And they were really well cast. They had Sarah Michelle Geller playing April (who’s a badass in this version), Chris Evans as Casey, Patrick freakin’ Stewart as the villain (not Shredder, and granted this villain sucks but Stewart elevates him), and they even had Lawrence Fishburne doing a short narrating intro. Their voices matched the roles perfectly. You may also notice not one of them were playing the Turtles themselves. That honour fell to these guys:

This is Mikey Kelley (Mikey lol), Nolan North (Raph), James Arnold Taylor (Leo), and Mitchell Whitfield (Donnie).

Now granted, if you’re a voice actor nerd (and I am), you’ll know these people. Especially Nolan North and James Arnold Taylor. But they’re not household names, and they especially weren’t in 2007. The general public wouldn’t recognise them like they recognise a lot of celebrities, so they don’t come with any connotations relating to their other roles. They’re just really experienced character actors. This meant they could, y’know, be their characters, and the result is they’re my favourite voice cast ever for the TMNT, and they only played them once. Nolan North and Mikey Kelley are my favourite Raph and Mikey, and James Arnold Taylor and Mitchell Whitfield are my second-favourite Leo and Donnie. I adore these guys as the TMNT, and I wish we got an entire series with them in the roles.

This is how effective voice actors can be when they’re cast well. For animated movies, stick to character actors. Stick to people who know what they’re doing. If you’re going to cast an actor who specialises in live-action, make sure they’ve got voice experience, like Jack Black. That’s the reason he sounds fine in the Mario movie.

Chris Pratt only worked as Emmett in the Lego Movie because 1) he’s specifically just a guy and 2) he was a brand new character without 30 years of history behind him and an equally iconic voice he’d had for the last 26.

I hope the Mario movie fiasco helps studios learn that celebrity voicecasts only receive vitriol when they’re poorly casted and distract from the actual characters and movie.

When you watch Shrek or Megamind you don’t spend the whole movie actively aware you’re listening to Mike Meyers and Cameron Diaz, or Will Ferrell and Tina Fey. Fuck it man even when you watch Despicable Me, Steve Carell does a good job of being the character. Chris Pratt is just like himself? Doing an impression of your friend from New York’s dad? And it actively pulls you out of the movie because you’re so aware of that! Good voice actors do the exact opposite and create a believable character and performance!!

Celebrity voice casts are not inherently bad, studios just do not know how to cast them!!! Fuck!!!!!

[mermaidsirennikita]

Thoughts on the Golden Globe winners?

I'm really annoyed that Charles Melton and Past Lives lost their categories. Charles easily gave one of the best performances of the year (RDJ, in contrast, gave one of the most "he is desperate for an Oscar and overdoing it" performances.... I mean, really, he was outdone by Bradley Cooper more than anyone) and Past Lives had such a beautiful, introspective tone, script, everything. I can see why it was beaten out in certain categories, but Anatomy of a Fall beating it out otherwise... Nah.

I also find it interesting that both losses involved Asian creatives.

So happy for Lily Gladstone and Cillian, I really believe in those wins. Although the direct of The Holdovers cats a pall over the movie (I didn't realize he had accusations against him when I watched the movie, and though I don't think it should be a major awards contender, I thought it was really sweet and the performances were pretty much uniformly strong) I'm thrilled for Da'Vine. She was so, so good and gave an anchoring performance.

I haven't seen Poor Things yet but I'm a fan of the Yorgos/Tony McNamara team, and it sounds right up my alley. I'm not mad at Emma winning that award. Yorgos and Tony bring out the best in her. But that needs to be it, because Lily is otherwise THE ONE. Her speech was so moving. I also really like the way Leo has been taking a step back for her to be showcased this season. He's got... his issues... but I'd love to see them perform together again. They have a very natural chemistry on and offscreen. Like, maybe we could see them in something mildly less dark together lol (big ask of Leo, I know).

Succession deservers everything it got. I honestly think Jeremy and Kieran gave equally strong performances, but I adore Kieran's talent and I really wanted him to win this year. I hope he repeats it at the Emmys. Sarah Snook supremacy. Matty Mac is always amazing and deserving. Let's gooooo.

Musical/Comedy category remains ridic, especially in TV. Jeremy Allen White is someone where I'm like... aware of his talent, though, so I'm not mad when he wins. Also, I'll be frank, the Calvin Klein ad convinced me that he deserves.

Surprised by Debicki because of the low quality script but she was the one light of those last two seasons and gave a uniformly strong performance. She really did a great job with capturing Diana's mannerisms and voice.

I honestly don't need Oppenheimer and Nolan getting all the awards it has. Killers of the Flower Moon was a much stronger film, to me. Like, I think Oppenheimer is one of Nolan's stronger movies. I like Oppenheimer. KOTFM is a totally different level. Aside from Cillian, I found the performances way stronger (I mean, we really need to stop pretending that Emily Blunt was good in that movie--I like Emily, but Jesus), the visual sensibility was less bOMBASTIC but more beautiful imo, and Scorsese did the thing.

[aslanvlad]

18 💎 scene with leo is really taking comfort book to new levels here 😭 like, thank you, i will be rereading this and using it whenever I feel like shit 🙏 I love him so much !!!!!!!

[twiceasmanysunbeams]

ain't nobody looking at that damn rat

[snowbellewells]

@thejollyroger-writer Aww, this really was priceless! Your Leo was beyond adorable, and I nearly cracked up when he mirrored his mom and dad with the crossed arms and wanting the whole story from Emma and Killian. Killian’s Brit pride and the way he set that tour guide’s record straight was also pretty awesome, as was Emma noticing and taking his hand to offer her assurance. It was good that the kid apologized to Killian later, and nice of Killian to accept it.

This part though was probably my favorite bit: “Sure, they've only been together for a few months, but he's been in love with her for years. He tried to bury it beneath bottles of rum, tried to hide from it by using other women, but every time when he woke up beside one of them, he would dream it was her, wake up hoping it wasn't just a dream, and regret when that was not the truth.” Truth be told, it really just made me melt inside. Thanks for sharing this fun holiday fic! 😍🎇🇬🇧

Historical Inaccuracies

a/n: Inspired by a chat in the discord, this story was born out of Killian’s love for history and America’s hatred for the British while on historical tours. Up until last night, this fic was lovingly referred to as “the history nerd fic,” and it is dedicated to @welllpthisishappening @profdanglaisstuff @kmomof4 and @shireness-saysIt is, of course, Fourth of July themed, like all of Mary Margaret’s outfits on this trip. 

Read it on AO3 if that’s more your jam

3k words // rated G

SUMMARY:  When David and Mary Margaret’s son wants to go on the Freedom Walk guided tour in Boston for his birthday, Emma and Killian tag along, still hiding their relatively-new relationship from their friends. But when the tour guide starts to berate a certain group of people from across the pond, both Killian’s anger and their relationship come out.

—–

Killian would do anything for his godson. Of course, he would do anything for his nephew, Charlie, too, but the hour-long car trip from Boston to Northbridge is far easier than the flight across the Atlantic to his brother and his wife in England. 

But this? This is a new level of Hell, right here in the middle of Boston. 

Not all of it is terrible. He gets to share an apartment with his girlfriend, their fairly-new relationship still a secret to their best friends. They both took off work for Leo’s birthday celebration, so they get to spend a few days together, without either of them having to worry about their jobs, since she could manage a few days without going after someone who skipped bail, and his university was off for the summer. And their best friends are back in town, their seven-year-old in tow. It really was a “stay-cation” that he was looking forward to, especially since the thing Leo wanted the most was to spend days on historical tours of Killian’s favorite city, some of them led by Killian himself, and others led by costumed tour guides in celebration of the Fourth of July week in Boston.  

But it’s one of these costumed tour guides that is putting Killian through hell. Ben. Ben, a twenty-something year old, probably a college student, with shaggy ginger hair and a freckle-covered face, wearing an American Revolutionary War uniform.

He got through the part of the tour where Ben referred to the British soldiers during the Revolutionary War as the “bloody Brits,” paired with a terrible fake accent. He got through the discussion of the Boston Tea Party where Ben instead referred to them only as the “Colonizers.” 

But now? 

“You know,” Ben says, turning around to look at their small group as he leads them down the last few blocks towards the Faneuil Market, the ending place for their tour. “We focus so much on the Brits of the past on this tour, but what about the Brits of the present?” 

Keep reading

[idontknowwhattomakemyurllol]

Songs that make me think of what a romantic relationship with them would be like

A/N : Hey! So Rumi’s songs are a bit..Implied...Yeah!

Sweet Boy by Chevy

I Do Adore by Mindy Gledhill

Someone To You by BANNERS

Would You Be So Kind by Dodie

Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby by Cigarettes After Sex

Sinatra by Forrest Nolan

Lemon Boy by CaveTown

Despair by Leo.

The Only Exception by Paramore

Teenagers by My Chemical Romance

Untitled by Rex Orange County

Monster from Adventure Time: Obsidian

I Hear A Symphony by Cody Fry

Yellow by ColdPlay

Xanny by Billie Eilish

So This Is Love from Cinderella

Happiness by Rex Orange County

Love Like You from Steven Universe

Space Girl by Francis Forever

Pretty Face by PUBLIC

Falling For U by Mxmtoon

Silly Girl by Chloe Moriondo

Canyon Moon by Harry Styles

(Only) About Love by Grent Perez

Everybody Talks by Neon Trees

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

You’ve Got A Friend In Me by Randy Newman

Sunflower by Rex Orange County

Dance, Baby! by Boy Pablo

Shut Up and Dance by WALK THE MOON

Electric Love by BØRNS

Ain’t it Fun by Paramore

Olivia by One Direction

City of Angels by 24kGoldn

Night Changes by One Direction

Heart of Glass by Miley Cyrus

We Fell In Love In October by Girl In Red

She by Dodie

Pretty Girl by Clairo

Little Miss Perfect from Write Out Loud

Heather by Conan Gray

Sofia by Clairo

All I Wanted by Paramore

Campus by Vampire Weekend

I Want To Be With You by Chloe Moriondo

Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny

Are you bored yet by Wallows

I’m A Believer by Smash Mouth

Television / So Far So Good by Rex Orange County

Perfect by One Direction

Rocketeer by Far East Movement

This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory

Marry You by Bruno Mars

Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra

Love Affair by UMI

Everybody Loves me by One Republic

Girls Need Love by Summer Walker

God is a woman by Ariana Grande

Confident by Justine Bieber

Woman by Harry Styles

[james-joyces-right-eyeball]

Absolute Favorite Books I’d Recommend to Anyone

This is a list of my top-tier favorite books that I would recommend/talk about endlessly to pretty much anyone (in no particular order). I know people probably don’t care but I just like talking about books I love so here we are.

Beloved - Toni Morrison

~ Based off the real story of Margaret Garner, a slave woman who escaped slavery and when captured killed her child in order to prevent them from ever being enslaved again, Beloved tells the story of a mother named Sethe, born in slavery who eventually escaped and is haunted by the figurative demons of her trauma and the literal (arguably) ghost of her dead daughter, who she herself killed. It is an excellent exploration of the horrors of slavery and of the haunting legacy of the institution for those who were subjected to it.

Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

~ If you’ve been on Tumblr for a while, you probably know what Lolita is. The story of the predatory Humbert Humbert who lusts after, rapes, and kidnaps the “nymphet” Dolores Haze. An excellent construction of how predators, unreliable narrators in their own right, hide behind fabrications, almost-believable excuses, and pretty words to make their actions seem maybe not so bad. In the words of the book itself, “You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.”

Ulysses - James Joyce

~ Notoriously one of the most difficult books in the English language, Ulysses lifts its structure from Homer’s Odyssey to tell the story of a common man, Leopold Bloom, as he goes about his day. Yes, this book takes place over the course of only one day. We follow Bloom as well as Joyce’s literary counterpart Stephen Daedalus through their thoughts and actions, gathering details of their lives previous throughout. It’s a book that, in my own words, “is life”. It is sad, funny, strange, vulgar, disgusting, beautiful, revelatory, sensual, and nonsensical all at once. Joyce aimed to create a reflection of life through his stream-of-consciousness style which some people might find confusing, but I personally find absolutely beautiful and honest and realistic. The prose is also gorgeous, but that could be applied to everything Joyce wrote. 

Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

~ The classic gothic book that tells the tale of Heathcliff and his ultimately destructive love of Catherine Earnshaw, whose eventual marriage to someone else and the general mistreatment of him by her family drives Heathcliff insane and he spends the rest of his life trying to take revenge by abusing and torturing the next Earnshaw and Linton (the family into which Catherine marries) generations. If I’m being honest, I like this book mostly because of how wild and dark it is, but the writing is also genius and beautiful. I think the book also carries an interesting view of the destructive nature of revenge, overzealous love, and othering.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn - Betty Smith

~ A coming-of-age story at the turn of the century that tells the story of Francie Nolan, a young bookish girl growing up in a lower class family in New York City. It tells about her father’s struggles with alcoholism as well as her mother’s struggles to deal with that and at the same time raise Francie and her brother. Francie is confronted with a strange, uncertain world as a young girl, but tries to face it with bravery throughout childhood

Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

~ Another coming-of-age story, this time about four young sisters: Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy March. You are probably familiar with this book already; it’s had more movie adaptations then I can possibly remember off the top of my head. It’s the story of four sisters as they try to navigate growing up, love, and loss during the mid to late 1800s.

The Color Purple - Alice Walker

~ A novel that tells the story of Celie, a young black woman who is raped and then married young to a man who will go on to use and abuse her, through her letters to God. Throughout the novel she meets Shug Avery, a woman with whom she eventually falls in love and begins a relationship with. Through this and her eventual freedom from her abusive husband, she is able to gain at last her own sense of self and take back control over her life, a life no longer ruled by the abusive men around her.

The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison

~ The tragic story of young black girl Pecola Breedlove, who wants nothing more than to have blonde hair and blue eyes just like the women she sees in the movies. Both a deconstruction of the whiteness of beauty standards as well as how these standards can utterly destroy vulnerable young girls, it is also an exploration of the people who allow these sorts of things to happen, including Pecola’s mother and father. The Bluest Eye, I think, showcases one of the aspects of Toni Morrison that I like the most, that I aspire to the most: her ability to enter the minds of all people, even people who you might despise at first. Her characters, especially Cholly in The Bluest Eye, are ones you might not entirely sympathize with, but they will always be ones you understand.

The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

~ Based off of the author’s own experiences as a young college student, The Bell Jar tells the story of Esther Greenwood, whose depression over her place as a woman in a patriarchal society as well as her inability to choose a life path for herself leads to a suicide attempt and a subsequent stay in a mental hospital. A very nuanced portrayal of mental illness, especially anxiety and depression, The Bell Jar is an extremely moving and relatable story for me and clearly is as well for others. It is a classic for a reason.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou

~ A memoir of Angelou’s childhood, this book tells the story of her experiences living as a black girl in the south with her grandmother and brother as well as her later years living with her mother. It also tells of how she was raped by her mother’s boyfriend when she was around eight or nine, and how she struggled to live with that and find her voice, both literally and figuratively. A wonderful book about overcoming struggles and the power of words and literature in such times.

Invisible Man - Ralph Ellison

~ Ellison’s novel tells the story of a young black man, never getting a name in the text, and his feelings of invisibility and his struggles to find a place in society to belong. His struggles only lead him further into despair, until he decides to “become invisible” as people seem not to see him as a person anyway. Invisible Man is an exploration of American mid-century racism and the isolation it causes to those subjected to it. Not only that, but it is surprisingly relevant to our times now, especially on the subject of police violence. (Personal anecdote: When I first read this book, when I got to the aforementioned police violence part it was right in the middle of the BLM resurgence last summer and I cried for a good twenty minutes while reading that chapter over how nothing had changed and it still hurts me to think about it. Embarrassingly, my dad walked in on me while I was crying, and I had to quickly explain it away.)

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - James Joyce

~ The title basically says it all lol. This book tells of the coming-of-age of Stephen Daedalus (the same one from the later-written Ulysses). His sensitive childhood, his awkward and lustful adolescence, his feelings of Irish nationality and Catholic guilt, and his struggles to fully realize himself, both as an artist and a human being. It is a very hopeful story, and one that I love mostly because I relate so much to Stephen Daedalus as an artist and as a person.

One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

~ A magical-realist intergenerational family drama, Marquez’s book traces the various lives and loves of the Buendia family over the course of (you guessed it!) one hundred years. A beautifully written, at times extremely emotionally moving and chilling masterpiece, Marquez in a way retells the history of Colombia, of its colonization and exploitation.  

Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

~ A classic Russian novel of society and love, Tolstoy tells the story of Anna Karenina, married, wealthy woman with a child she adores. However, she falls in love with another man, Count Vronsky, and comes to a tragic end for her love. The parallel story of the novel is that of Konstantin Levin, a wealthy landowner who also struggles to find fulfillment in his life and understand his place in society.

The Sound and the Fury - William Faulkner

~ A novel that features an entire family of unreliable narrators, The Sound and the Fury details the fall of a once-prominent southern Compson family and always-present place of the past. There are four different narratives: Benjy Compson, a mentally disabled man who is unsure of his surroundings and of time and only knows that he misses his older sister Caddy; Quintin Compson, the eldest son and a Harvard man both obsessed with his sister retaining her “purity” and the fact that she failed to do so and had a baby out of wedlock, going as far to claim it is his baby in an attempt to preserve something of the family reputation; Jason Compson, who is the caretaker of Caddy’s daughter and believes her to be going down her mother’s “sinful” path; and Dilsey, the black maid of the Compson’s who unlike the people she cares for is not weighed down by their history. The narratives take place in different time periods and is in a stream-of-consciousness style. It’s a deeply dark and disturbing novel about the haunting nature of the past, a common theme in Faulkner’s work (see Absalom, Absalom! for more of this).

Song of Solomon - Toni Morrison

~ It is the story of Milkman Dead, a young black man growing up in the south and his relationship with his very complicated family. To say anymore would be to spoil the novel, but I will say that it is an excellent book about family, self-fulfillment in a world that tries to deny you that, and, like The Bluest Eye, exhibits Morrison’s excellent character work.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - Tennessee Williams

~ A play which takes place on the patriarch of a family’s birthday in the oppressive heat of the midsummer south, Williams’ play explores lies, secrets, and how repression only results in anger, frustration, and sadness. It’s a tragic but brilliant play that I think was very ahead of its time. If you’ve read it (or do read it) then you know what I mean.

Giovanni’s Room - James Baldwin

~ This book tells the story of a young man and his love of another man named Giovanni while he is in Paris. It is a book about love, queer guilt, and has what I would call an ambiguous ending. There is uncertainty at the end, but there does seem to be some kind of acceptance. It is a bit of a coming-out story, but more than that it is a story of personal acceptance and at the same time a sad, tragic love story.

HERmione - H.D.

~ An underrated modernist masterpiece, HERmione is a somewhat fictionalized account of the author, Hilda Doolittle’s, experience as a young aspiring poet dating another poet (in real life Ezra Pound in this book named George Lowndes) who is a threat to her both physically and emotionally. It explores her own mental state, as she considers herself a failure and falls in love with a woman for the first time (Fayne Rabb in the book, Frances Gregg in real life). 

To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf

~ People think about going to a lighthouse. They do not. A couple years and a war passes then they do. That may seem like a boring plot, and you may be right. However, To the Lighthouse is not much about plot. It is more about the inner lives of its characters, a family and their friends, on two different occasions of their lives: one before WWI and one after WWI. Woolf explores in this novel the trauma that results from such a massive loss of life and security. Not only that, she also explores the nature of art (especially in female artists) in the character of Lily Briscoe and her struggles to complete a painting. It’s a short novel, but it contains so much about life, love, and loss within these few pages.

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter - Carson McCullers

~ A southern gothic novel about isolation and loneliness in a small town. Every character has something to separate them from wider society, and often find solace and companionship in a deaf man, John Singer, who himself experiences a loneliness that they cannot understand. There are various forms of social isolation explored in this novel: by race, disability, age, gender, etc. A wonderful, heart-wrenching book about loneliness and the depths it can potentially drag people to.

The Waste Land - T.S. Eliot

~ A modernist masterpiece of a poem, Eliot describes feeling emptiness and isolation. The brilliance of it can only be shown by an excerpt:

“Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither Living nor dead, and I knew nothing, Looking into the heart of light, the silence.”

“The river’s tent is broken: the last fingers of leaf Clutch and sink into the wet bank. The wind Crosses the brown land, unheard. The nymphs are departed. Sweet Thames, run softly, till I end my song. The river bears no empty bottles, sandwich papers, Silk handkerchiefs, cardboard boxes, cigarette ends Or other testimony of summer nights. The nymphs are departed. And their friends, the loitering heirs of city directors; Departed, have left no addresses. By the waters of Leman I sat down and wept . . . Sweet Thames, run softly till I end my song, Sweet Thames, run softly, for I speak not loud or long. But at my back in a cold blast I hear The rattle of the bones, and chuckle spread from ear to ear. “

(My personal favorite line from this poem is, “I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”)

The Trial - Franz Kafka

~ The protagonist of the novel, Josef K., wakes up one morning to find that he has been placed under arrest for reasons that are kept from him. Kafka creates throughout the novel a scathing satire of bureaucracy, as K. tries to find out more about his case, more about his trial, but only becomes more confused as he digs deeper. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the world he lives in, and the more tries to explain it the further the more that proves to be the case. An excellently constructed novel and a great one to read if you would like to be depressed about the state of the world because, though Kafka’s work is a satire, like a lot of his other work, it manages to strike a strangely real note.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead - Tom Stoppard

~ An absurdist play that is a retelling of Shakespeare’s Hamlet from the perspective of minor characters, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, who in the broad overview of the original play, do not matter. Throughout the play, they question their existence and the purpose of it and through that Stoppard dissects not only the absurdity of life, but how fiction and theater reflect that absurdity inadvertently.

As I Lay Dying - William Faulkner

~ The novel details the journey the Bundren family makes after the death of the family matriarch, Addie, to bury her. Each chapter offers a different narrative from the family members and those who surround them, revealing some ulterior motives to them “going to town” to bury Addie. The patriarch Anse desires a pair of false teeth, and the daughter Dewey Dell is pregnant and needs an abortion, as there is no way for her or her family to support it. It’s about the powerlessness of people in the impoverished south. The Bundrens are constantly subject to forces beyond their control, struggles which would be easily solved if they had the money to spare for it. There is more to the book, but that is my favorite reading of it, that of class. Faulkner’s ability to create distinct voices for every one of his characters shines through here.

And, last but not least:

The Collected Poems - Sylvia Plath

~ All the poems Plath wrote during her tragically short lifetime. The best way to demonstrate or summarize the book’s brilliance is just to show you. This is her poem “Edge”, which appears in the book:

“The woman is perfected.   Her dead Body wears the smile of accomplishment,   The illusion of a Greek necessity Flows in the scrolls of her toga,   Her bare Feet seem to be saying: We have come so far, it is over. Each dead child coiled, a white serpent,   One at each little Pitcher of milk, now empty.   She has folded Them back into her body as petals   Of a rose close when the garden Stiffens and odors bleed From the sweet, deep throats of the night flower. The moon has nothing to be sad about,   Staring from her hood of bone. She is used to this sort of thing. Her blacks crackle and drag.”

HOPE YOU ENJOYED! HAPPY READING TO ALL!

[searchingwardrobes]

The Convenient Groom: 11/14

I'm back! I know it's been a month, but I had things in real life that required my attention. To make it up to you, I give you about 4,700 words that I adore. I hope it was worth the wait! I also have the next chapter half written, so hopefully I can get that to you much sooner.

Summary: Killian Jones just happens to be there when Emma Swan gets the phone call that changes everything: her fiance is leaving her at the altar. The thing is, it could also mean the end of her career. Convenient that Killian has nothing better to do that day. Convenient that he’s secretly in love with her. Not that Emma has to know that. Written for @spartanguard​ .

Rating: M

Also on Ao3

Tagging: @snowbellewells​​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​​​ @kmomof4​​​ @let-it-raines​​ @teamhook​​​ @bethacaciakay​​​ @xhookswenchx​​​ @tiganasummertree​​ @shireness-says​​​ @stahlop​​​ @scientificapricot​​​ @welllpthisishappening​​ @resident-of-storybrooke​​​ @thislassishooked​​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​ @kday426​​​ @ekr032-blog-blog​​​ @lfh1226-linda​​​ @ultraluckycatnd​​ @nikkiemms​​ @distant-rose @optomisticgirl​​​ @profdanglaisstuff​​ @carpedzem​​ @ohmakemeahercules​​​ @branlovestowrite​​ @superchocovian​​ @sherlockianwhovian​​​ @vvbooklady1256​​ @hollyethecurious​​​ @winterbaby89​​​ @delirious-latenight-laughs​​ @jennjenn615​​ @snidgetsafan​

Killian Jones really needed to stop giving Emma more reasons to find him adorable and sexy. Like playing blocks with two year old Leo in the middle of the Nolan’s living room.

“Wow, lad! This is a super tall tower! Do you think we can add this last block?”

He was on his stomach, guiding Leo’s hand ever so carefully to add one last wooden block to their creation. Killian scooted up on his knees and grinned at the toddler.

“Now are you ready for the best part?”

Leo bent his knees and did a funny little bounce with his bottom sticking out. His grin was wide and his eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Okay,” Killian said, putting an exaggerated tough expression on his face, “ready to dinosaur stomp?”

Killian swung his arms a bit and “stomped” on his knees while growling. Leo did the same, scrunching his face up adorably as he growled. Then both of them let out a loud roar, and Leo swung his arms at the block tower, knocking it over with a satisfying crash. Killian cheered for the boy, and Leo grinned broadly as he launched himself at his “Uncle Killy.” Killian caught him, but fell backwards as if Leo was too strong for him.

“Oh no, it’s the tickle-saurus-rex!”

Liam’s giggles were so infectious, Emma found herself laughing too as he attempted to tickle Killian. She left the couch to join them, helping the toddler to tickle Killian.

“Not fair!” Killian gasped between bouts of laughter. “The giganta-saurus can’t help the tickle-saurus!”

“Hey!” Emma retorted. “Watch who you're calling gigantic.”

“You gi-unt. Leo wi-tul,” the two year old explained, jabbing Emma with a pudgy finger.

“I guess you’re right, Leo. You’re little, and I’m giant.”

Killian shrugged from his spot on the floor. His hair was a mess, and it was way sexier than it had a right to be.

“You can’t argue with the boy’s logic, can you, Swan?”

“Alright kids,” David teased from the dining room, ���it’s time to eat.”

Emma scooped Leo up as she stood and balanced him on her hip. Killian stood, groaning as he did. Emma laughed at him.

“Feeling your age, old man?”

“Maybe,” Killian groaned, rubbing at his lower back.

Emma reached out to fix his disheveled hair. She couldn’t help herself. Besides, he didn’t want to look ridiculous in front of his old friends. Right?

“Thanks, love,” he told her softly.

Emma paused with her fingers just behind his ear. “No problem.”

“Hurry over here before the fish gets cold,” Mary Margaret called out.

Emma yanked her hand away, and Killina cleared his throat awkwardly. Mary Margaret gave Emma a look she couldn’t quite read as she approached the table. She deposited Leo in his booster seat, chatting with the little boy so she wouldn’t have to face whatever look Mary Margaret was leveling at her.

They all settled around the table, passing around food and chatting amicably. David had grilled some striped bass he had caught just that morning, and Emma held back a moan at how delicious it was. The fresh fish around here was one of the perks she had grown to love. She had never had anything like this in Manhattan.

As usual, she and Killian had to keep up appearances, so Killian’s hand would every so often land on her knee, or he would press a kiss to her cheek. When the plates were all clean, and they were simply enjoying the conversation, Killian leaned back and slung his arm around the back of Emma’s chair. He doled out casual affection so readily in a fake relationship, she wondered how attentive he would be in a real one.

“So,” Mary Margaret said as she hoisted Leo out of his booster seat, “when did Walsh leave you high and dry?”

Emma’s mouth dropped open, sure she had heard her friend wrong. Mary Margaret just waited for an answer while she wiped Leo’s face and hands with a baby wipe.

“Please tell me he at least gave you 24 hours,” added David.

Killian’s arm dropped away from her shoulder with a thud as he exchanged a shocked glance with her. Emma blinked rapidly, hardly able to process the turn the conversation had taken.

“I’m sorry. Who?”

Mary Margaret rolled her eyes. “You two don’t have to fake it with us. We know Walsh was your fiance, Emma. This building is old, the loft is right upstairs, and the walls are thin.”

David eyed them both as he crossed his arms over his chest. “So what’s going on?” Emma and Killian both released long sighs.

“Look, I was at Killian’s shop checking on the wedding arbor when Walsh called and dumped me.”

Mary Margaret gasped. “The day of the wedding?”

Emma nodded, then glanced at Killian again with an expression that said help!

“So, uh,” Killian began to explain, “I sort of . . . offered to stand in.”

“So this is a fake marriage?” David’s eyebrows arched.

“No!”

“Yes!”

Emma shook her head at Killian, and he ducked his head and scratched behind his ear. She had to tell him to quit doing that. Surely she wasn’t the only one who had figured out it was his nervous tick.

“What Killian means is, yes it’s a real marriage in that the wedding was real and there’s a marriage certificate and everything. It’s legal.”

“But,” Killian clarified, his face already turning red, “Emma means that we haven’t . . . that is to say it isn’t . . . “

“Consummated?” Mary Margaret asked.

Emma choked on the sip of water she had just taken. Killian’s face turned positively crimson.

“So that’s a no, thank God,” David muttered.

“Excuse me?” Killian blurted.

“You’re not my dad,” Emma muttered.

“David, seriously,” Mary Margaret scolded.

David lifted both hands in defense. “I just want to be sure Killian isn’t taking advantage of the situation.”

“I didn’t pimp myself out to him, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Emma snapped.

“Nobody is saying that,” Mary Margaret assured her.

“I would never assume . . . “ Killian stuttered, “I mean . . . “

His face might remain red for the rest of his life.

“David,” Mary Margaret announced decisively, “take Leo in the living room. Emma’s gonna help me with the dishes.”

“But -” David protested even as his wife thrust the toddler into his arms. Mary Margaret gave him a look, and he sighed and rose from the table.

“Killian?” Mary Margaret asked pointedly.

“Yes ma'am,” Killian told her, hanging his head and following quickly after Davd.

Emma laughed. “You use that teacher voice well.”

Mary Margaret shrugged as she started gathering plates. “Whatever works on third graders also works on men is what I’ve found.”

Emma helped her clear the table and take everything into the kitchen. The building was old, and except for the third floor loft apartment Emma had rented, it was the opposite of an open floor plan. She and Mary Margaret were tucked away from the men where they couldn’t overhear their conversation. Oh, Mary Margaret was good.

“Okay, spill it. Why did Killian Jones agree to marry you at the last minute?’

She also wasn’t subtle.

Emma avoided her gaze as she ran the hot water and squirted soap on the pile of dishes. “I don’t know. He said he hoped I could help his brother and his wife with some marriage issues.”

Mary Margaret snorted. “And you believed that?”

Emma scowled at her, but when Mary Margaret gave her a pointed look she sighed. “Killian honestly confuses me. I thought he was inconsiderate when he was just the carpenter downstairs blaring loud rock music. When he was making my arbor, I thought he was nothing but a shameless flirt. But now . . . I don’t know what to make of him.”

Mary Margaret tilted her head, regarding Emma in a way that made her blush. She looked quickly down into the sudsy water and started scrubbing at a saucepan.

“Are you falling for him?”

“You two really need a dishwasher,” Emma grumbled, scrubbing harder.

“Don’t change the subject.”

Emma looked up at her friend in frustration, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. “We have an agreement, okay? Nothing more. We fake this marriage for a year, then we part ways. Killian even says I can spin it in my favor.”

Mary Margaret frowned. “You mean paint him as the bad guy? Emma, that’s awful!”

“I’m not saying that’s what I’m going to do! I’m just saying that we went into this agreeing to no strings, know what I mean?”

Mary Margaret took the clean saucepan and began to dry it with a dishcloth. She said nothing as Emma started washing the plates, but Emma could tell something was bothering her.

“Spit it out,” she finally groaned.

“I don’t want to see my friend get hurt,” Mary Margaret admitted after a beat of silence.

“I won’t.”

“I wasn’t talking about you.”

Emma’s brow furrowed. “It was his idea.”

Mary Margaret put down the dish she was drying and turned Emma to face her, ignoring the sudsy water dripping from Emma’s hands and onto the floor. She cupped Emma’s face in her hands.

“Why do you think he offered, Emma? You can’t be that oblivious, you're too smart for that.”

Emma blinked and sucked in a sharp breath. Mary Margaret couldn’t mean that Killian had serious feelings for her. Could she? Sure, the man could kiss, and he had come to be an actual friend she could talk to, but that didn’t mean he lov - had feelings for her.

Emma shrugged Mary Margaret off and turned resolutely back to the dishes.

“We’re being careful.”

“I don’t see how you can be,” Mary Margaret muttered, “living together, pretending to be married, and all those little touches he was giving you tonight.”

“We had to keep up appearances. We didn’t know you had figured it out.”

Mary Margaret kept talking, ignoring Emma’s explanation. “I’ve also just never seen him this happy.”

Emma dropped a handful of silverware into the sink with a splash. She recovered her composure quickly and fished them back out of the water.

“I think you’re exaggerating.”

“You didn’t see him after Milah died. He was a mess. He sold the house they had been renovating for way less than he should have, bought that little cabin from Liam, then shut himself away. Then he started drinking too much. If it hadn’t been for Liam and David, I don’t know what might have happened.”

Mary Margaret’s words caused Emma to freeze, a sudsy plate in her hand, dripping water all over her jeans. What the hell had she gotten herself into? Mary Margaret pried the plate from her hand silently and started to dry it.

“I’m not trying to break his heart,” Emma whispered.

Mary Margaret looked at her gently. “I know that. I also know he’s a grown man who did this of his own free will. I guess I just can’t help worrying.”

“You’re a good friend.”

“I’m your friend too, Emma, so can I give you a little advice?”

Emma bit her bottom lip, the answer “no” on the tip of her tongue, but she finally found she couldn’t resist Mary Margaret’s earnest expression. “Fine, bring it on,” she answered with a teasing smile. “I don’t want anyone to say I can dish it out but can’t take it.”

“I know Walsh hurt you, and it may seem like building a wall around your heart is the wise thing to do. And that wall of yours might keep pain out, but it will keep love out, too. Just . . . open your eyes when it comes to Killian?”

Emma swallowed nervously as she turned quickly back to the dishes in the sink. She never did tell Mary Margaret yes or no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So how long have you been in love with Emma?”

David Nolan was many things. Subtle was not one of them.

Killian groaned and dropped his head into his hands. “Is it that obvious?”

“You standing up in a tux sure was. Why else would you do this?”

“I’m a nice guy?”

David laughed. “No one’s that nice.”

Muppet Babies was playing on the tv to keep Leo occupied, and the two year old giggled at something Gonzo said. He shifted on David’s lap, and Killian noticed the boy’s eyelids drooping. David brushed a kiss across the child’s blonde hair, and Killian’s heart clenched as he looked away. The words Emma had him repeat - “it wasn’t my fault” - replayed in his mind. Yet he also realized that he wanted what David had more than he had been willing to admit. For the first time, hope for the future flickered within his heart instead of regret for the past.

“Seriously, though,” Killian told his friend, “I didn’t want to see her hurt and humiliated. Not to mention what it would have done to her career.”

David turned away from the dancing Muppets to level Killian with a look that he had seen before. David had given it to him every time he had tried to hide away or drink himself into oblivion after Milah died. Every time he lied and said “I’m fine,” David would give him that look. The look that basically said he wasn’t buying Killian’s shit.

“And you had absolutely no hopes for anything more?”

Killian rubbed wearily at his temple before answering. “I confess I hoped we might get . . . closer, but don’t forget, she was left at the altar. I have to proceed with caution.”

Leo had fallen asleep the way only children can - with no preamble. He was limp in David’s arms, his neck bent at an angle that no adult would be able to endure. Somehow, he was already sweaty. David moved with agonizing slowness to grab the remote and mute the cartoon. Then he turned to Killian with a serious expression on his face.

“Are you prepared for her to leave when this is all over?”

The thought kept him up at night, especially now that Emma shared his bed. He had to admit, he was falling harder every day. And yet . . . He met David’s gaze with resolve in his eyes.

“When I win her heart, it won’t be through any trickery or manipulation. It won’t be because I’m convenient. It will be because she wants me. If she doesn’t, I want her to walk away. All I want is her happiness. I mean that, David.”

His friend nodded. “That’s all I want too. For both of you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killian sat in the audience of The Tiana Show, sticking out like a sore thumb. Every other audience member was a woman.

He was amazed as well to see how small the stage was. On tv, it looked much bigger.

Not that he regularly watched The Tiana Show. He had little interest in “swoon worthy” male celebrities, fashion trends, or segments on “how to feel confident choosing a gynecologist.” He had only suffered through a handful of episodes with Emma while she prepped to be a guest.

The stage still looked bigger on tv.

Tiana herself came out on stage for a sound check and a walk through of her marks for the different segments. The crowd cheered, and she waved. She saw Killian, and her face brightened as she rushed over.

“I am so glad you could join us, Mr. Jones,” she told him, giving him a firm handshake.

“I’m happy to be here,” he told her. And he was. Emma was successful, smart, and cared deeply about her clients. She deserved all of the recognition she could get. “But call me Killian, please.”

“Okay, Killian. Did my team prep you on where the cameras would be?”

“Yes, and they made it clear I wasn’t to look at them.”

Tiana pointed a finger at him, “You might just be made for tv, Killian. God knows the camera loves you!”

Killian, unsure what to say, just chuckled nervously as he scratched behind his ear. Tiana winked at him, then returned to the stage where she would give her opening monologue. She addressed the studio audience, getting them pumped up to applaud before they went live.

Killian didn’t pay much attention to her monologue or the cooking segment that had something to do with a new diet fad. Finally they went to another commercial break, and Tiana moved to the other side of the stage where her interview couch was set up. She winked at Killian as she got settled. He assumed it was a “are you ready for this, proud hubby?” kind of wink and not a flirtatious wink.

“And we’re back from commercial in 3, 2 . . .”

“Alright, ladies,” Tiana announced, “are you ready for some tough love in the relationship department?”

The audience clapped and cheered loudly as they had been prepped to do during the commercial break.

“That’s what I thought! Well, today I’ve got a fantastic guest for you. She’s the author of the best seller Seriously, Ladies? , and is releasing tomorrow her new book Ladies, It’s Not Just About the Wedding. She’s got five hundred thousand followers on Instagram, and her videos on YouTube have hits in the millions. Ladies, give it up for relationship expert Dr. Emma Swan!”

The audience applauded, and Killian joined in enthusiastically. Emma smiled at the audience, and gave a little wave. He was probably the only one who knew this wasn’t her favorite part of her job, and he only knew because he’d been living with her for two months.

“Thank you for being here,” Tiana said to Emma as soon as the crowd quieted.

“I’m happy to be here.”

“We’re going to get to your new book in a moment, but first I have to ask you: how is marriage? It’s been two months, right?”

“Yes,” Emma answered, her smile widening as she caught Killian’s eye, “and I have to say it’s been an incredible two months.”

There were “awes” from the audience, and Killian knew there must be cameras on him. He blocked that out, though, and just kept his gaze on Emma. He didn’t have to fake his smile, though. Looking at Emma always made him smile. She looked especially beautiful today, her glorious blonde hair curled and pinned to one side with a gold barrette. She wore a bold, dark floral dress with a flared skirt. Simple gold bangles on one wrist were her only jewelry. He was seriously lucky to be married to this woman, even if it was only for a year. Who wouldn’t want to be her cheering section?

“Well everyone on social media loves him already.” Tiana gestured to a screen above them where Instagram and Twitter comments appeared. “Right here, lovestruck84 says If I can get man candy like that following Emma Swan’s advice, take my credit card, Swan! darcywaitsforme says Where’s Emma Swan been for the past two months? Are you kidding me? If I married a guy who looks like that, I’d disappear for two YEARs. But I think my favorite is hearteyes4ever91.”

The audience laughed as that particular Instagram comment filled the large screen. Killian had started blushing from the get go, but now his face burned even hotter.

“If you can’t see this in the back,” Tiana laughed, “it’s just a row of drooling emojis.”

When the audience quieted, Emma responded with poise. “Yes, he is handsome, and I am a lucky woman. But I hope everyone realizes that good looks isn’t what makes a man a great catch. That’s one of the things I address in my new book.”

“Yes,” Tiana agreed, “I was so impressed with your book. I was highlighting like a mad woman. It’s interesting that you wrote it before your wedding. Do you find yourself wanting to change anything now that you’ve settled down?”

“No, not at all. Many of the principles of dating apply to marriage as well. Any relationship requires work, communication, care, and respect.”

“Can you give us an example of that within your own marriage?”

Emma’s gaze turned to Killian again, and the tenderness in it took his breath away. He had no idea what she was going to share, but the look she gave him told him he had nothing to worry about.

“Everyone’s been going on and on about how handsome Killian is, but they should have seen the way he took care of me when I was sick a couple of weeks ago.” The audience once again melted with a collective awww. Emma pulled her eyes away from Killian’s and back to Tiana. “And believe me, I was not looking sexy one bit, nor was I the nicest patient. Marriage means seeing each other at your worst, so don’t say I do to a man who isn’t willing to hold your hair back while you puke.”

The audience laughed, and Tiana nodded. “Wise words.” Then she looked straight into the main camera. “And when we come back, we’ll hear more from Emma Swan as she fields questions from our studio audience.”

Tiana and Emma both relaxed a little on the couch and chatted in soft voices. A producer came out and explained to the audience how the Q & A would go. It would look like Tiana was choosing people at random, but they had actually been chosen ahead of time. The producer reminded those women not to change their questions and made sure Tiana knew where they were sitting. Emma, however, had no knowledge of what the questions would be, and he could see the worry lines on her face. When she caught his eye he winked at her. She rolled her eyes in response, but now she was smiling.

“And we’re back from commercial in 3, 2 . . . “

“Welcome back to the Tiana Show, everyone,” Tiana said, her relaxed posture replaced by one that was ramrod straight and bordered on regal. “Today we have Dr. Emma Swan, relationship expert, to talk about marriage. Emma, before we get to our Q & A portion, I’ve been dying to know: what exactly made you leave New York City. Was it just love for a certain carpenter?”

Emma smiled graciously. “Storybrook is where Killian’s family lives, but he’s very supportive of my career. He would never ask me to move if it wasn’t right. No, the real reason I moved is because I wasn’t satisfied in New York. I mean, I love the city, but my career there just wasn’t what I had set out to do.”

“How so?”

“Well, it got to the point that the only people who could afford my therapy were the super wealthy. I was seeing celebrities, socialites, politicians. I was giving advice to my followers online, but I still sort of felt like a fraud. I keep my past private, but I will share this: I didn’t grow up with a lot. By moving to Storybrooke, I can live more simply and have a smaller, less visible clientele.”

The audience applauded, and Killian joined them. He knew Emma was being one hundred percent genuine. She had told him the same thing before. He also suspected that Walsh hadn’t been completely on board with the move to Storybrooke.

“That’s beautiful, Emma,” Tiana said, reaching out to grasp her guest by the hand. By the tears glistening in the woman’s brown eyes, Killian sensed she was genuine as well.

“I’m not trying to be a savior or anything,” Emma laughed. She shrugged. “I just want to make a difference as much as I can.”

“Shouldn’t we all? Now, the moment our studio audience has been eager for! Are you ladies ready to get some free advice today?”

The audience responded with loud cheers. Tiana asked them to raise their hands if they had a marital problem they wanted Emma’s help with. Tiana’s show wasn’t shock tv, so Killian assumed the questions would be common ones and fairly innocuous. Nevertheless, Emma had expressed to him her nerves about this part. He found her gaze again and gave her an encouraging nod. Soon, the first woman was speaking into a microphone.

“Hi,” the dark haired woman said timidly, “I’ve been married for two years, and I had a question about some advice my mom gave me.”

“Okay,” Emma said calmly, nodding at the woman to continue.

“Well, she always tells me not to nag my husband, but it’s really hard. We both work, so we divided up the chores, but he always waits until the garbage is overflowing to take it out. It drives me crazy! How can I get him to take it out if I’m not supposed to nag?”

Emma nodded her head, her face neutral. Killian had never seen her do therapy, of course, but this gave him a tiny window into her professional life. She was giving this woman her full attention, with no trace of judgment or even humor on her face.

“First of all,” Emma began, “no offense to your mother, but this is one of those long held pieces of marriage advice that can be really harmful. I mean, it’s kind of sexist if you think about it. Do you ever hear people telling men not to nag?”

There was a ripple of laughter through the audience, and Killian smiled. They were hanging on her every word.

“I think we need to define the word nag. If you mean constantly yelling at someone or constantly reminding them of their failures, then yeah, you shouldn’t nag. No one wants to be talked to that way - not a friend, not a coworker, not a child with their parents. Unfortunately, so many women have taken this advice to mean you should never ask your husband to do anything or remind him of things or express your feelings. That is very dangerous because a relationship can’t work if you aren’t able to communicate your wants, needs, and feelings.”

“So how do I get him to take out the garbage?” the woman asked, and the audience laughed.

Emma smiled. “Well, first you have to tell him that it’s bugging you. He may have no idea that it bothers you. Have you told him?”

The woman wrinkled her nose sheepishly. “Um, no.”

“Then start there. He may think it’s totally fine to wait until things are falling on the floor to take it out. It may never have occurred to him that it bothers you. That actually may solve the whole issue.”

The audience clapped and the woman sat down with a smile on her face. Tiana looked at Emma and tilted her head.

“Now I know men. What if her sorry husband just keeps on being lazy with the trash? I know my boyfriend just keeps cramming stuff in there, and I’m like do you not see stuff falling all over the floor? Am I right, ladies?”

Emma chuckled. “I never said communication would fix your partner. The important thing is that you are open with your feelings. Another part of strong relationships is having patience with one another’s flaws and accepting the person just as they are.”

“So who’s the messy one in your house, Emma?”

Emma’s cheeks flushed as she glanced at Killian, then she stared at her hands in her lap and chewed on her bottom lip. Tiana threw her head back and laughed.

“Oh I see how it is,” the hostess quipped, then she turned to Killian. “Mr. Jones, who’s the messy one?”

If there was one thing Killian knew how to do, it was turn on the charm. He cocked an eyebrow and flashed a lopsided grin.

“Well, Tiana, let’s just say I will happily pick up Emma’s shoes and wet towels for as long as we both shall live.”

Another chorus of awww swelled through the studio audience as Killian winked at his wife. His bloody brilliant, amazing wife.

[limafm]

NOLAN GERARD FUNK, NONBINARY, THEY/THEM, DEMISEXUAL; Is that LEOPOLD “LEO” CLARINGTON I see getting a cup of joe at the Lima Bean? Sounds like them. Apparently, they’re THIRTY years old and I know from Instagram they seem to be LOYAL but also SARCASTIC and are a WORLD CLASS GYMNAST & MODEL. Not to mention their feed reminds me of GYMNASTIC MATS, FASHION, TANQUERAY OVER ICE, AND CHEESY ROM COMS. Here’s to hoping they get out of Lima soon!

CHARACTER INFO:

Birthday: August 23rd, 1990

Family: Clarington

Relation: Cousin (Solo)

Birth Order: Eldest

Secret: Leo is a virgin.  Between the time spent dedicated to gymnastics and their athletics and discovering that they are demi-sexual, Leo has never really gotten to that point where they, or their partner have taken that step physically.  When asked about their sexuality, Leo claims unless they’re fucking you, it’s not your business.   They are not embarrassed about being demi-sexual, but they know that there are certain expectations people have about them.

THREE THINGS ABOUT LEO:

Leo was an active child and was enrolled in many sports including gymnastics.  They loved running and tumbling as a child, but it was skills such as the rings, the pummel horse, and the high bar that cemented their fate as a world (and Olympic) level gymnast.  Leo still loves all sports. They play team and individual sports including baseball, basketball, tennis, golf, and swimming in addition to gymnastics.  Currently, Leo is deciding if they are going to actively compete towards the summer Olympics in Paris in 2024.  (We’re pretending the Tokyo 2020 games happened in 2020 and they were successful in their disciplines.)

Leo is close to their mother and adores their sister. It was a no brainer for Leo to join them, using their face, and fame, to model their fashions.  Things are a little more strained with their father who was surprised Leo chose gymnastics as their sport as opposed to any of the others they’d been exposed to.  Also  their father did not really understand what it meant when Leo came out as nonbinary.  

Leo is loyal but it can take them a while to warm up to people because sometimes they have to wonder if people are hanging around because of them, or because of who they are.   Leo can be sarcastic, which is a way of protecting themselves sometimes.  Leo likes dad jokes, puns, and cheesy 80s-90s-2000′s rom coms and pop music.  They also have a guilty pleasure of country music and country line dancing.

[leafsbabe]

penguins vibe check

with loving help from a pens expert

Anthony Angello  he’s new i think 7/10

Zach Aston-Reese  i love his puppy but i have a deep personal problem with the name Carl and now he’s making me like yet another Carl it’s not fair, very talented tho 10/10

Nick Bjugstad  aww he seems really nice 8/10

Teddy Blueger  fucking supreme you funky little latvian 9/10

Sidney Crosby  🍑 10/10

Jake Guentzel  the future of the penguins? 9/10

Patric Hornqvist  his nickname is horny 10/10

Sam Lafferty  looks like he likes to repair stuff... which is good because he definitely broke something on accident while trying hockey trick indoors 7/10

Evgeni Malkin  he just seems like a good dude and his story always makes me emotional  10/10

Patrick Marleau  i miss you dad 10/10

Jared McCann  also seems nice 8/10

Evan Rodrigues  kinda looks like he’s a fun guy to be around 7/10

Bryan Rust  in Rust we trust is cute 9/10

Conor Sheary  short king anthem by tmg 8/10

Dominik Simon also looks sweet 8/10 

Brandon Tanev  “does not carry the brain cell”... you know what i respect that 8/10

Jason Zucker  Zucker means sugar in german and let me tell you this man sounds like the absolute sweetest 10/10

Brian Dumoulin  apparently the team frat boy... interesting 8/10

Jack Johnson  people don’t like him all that much and i lowkey feel bad 7/10

Kris Letang  his son is an angel and he’s the teams wine uncle 9/10

John Marino  he’s adorable 9/10

Marcus Pettersson  his header image on the roster has Nolan in it too so i’ll give him points for that 8/10

Juuso Riikola  his last name is funny  8/10

Chad Ruhwedel  his name is so confusing to me because Chad is aggressively american but Ruhwedel is highkey german also he’s bald so... 7/10

Justin Schultz  ‘rescued’ from Edmonton... 8/10

Tristan Jarry  apparently he owns a farm? we need to stan 9/10

Matt Murray Beckham and Leo are just so freaking cute so Matt gets all my hype for them 9/10

[themomsandthecity]

180+ Cute Baby Boy Names

Brainstorming baby names can be one of the most fun (and important) aspects of planning for the arrival of your little one, but it can also feel really overwhelming. If you don't have certain requirements, like wanting a name that runs in the family, the possibilities can seem endless. Our names are the first thing tied to our identities, and we know how daunting that sounds - so we're here to ease you of any stress you have on your hunt for cute baby boy names. Choosing a cute boy name that will be equally fitting for an adorable infant and the adult he grows into can be a challenge, which is why we compiled this list of cute, unique boy names. You're sure to find an option that flow well with your last name or other kids' names among the cute names for boys we rounded up here. You might even find two that you like to help you out with a middle name option. (Oh, and if you want options for cute girls' names, we have you covered for that too, with our list of cute girl names.) Cute Names For Boys A Abe, Addison, Adrian, Aiden, Amir, Amos, Ansel, Archie, Ari, Arlo, Asher, Atticus, August, Austin, Avery, Axel B Beau, Beckett, Bentley, Benicio, Benito, Benjamin, Billy, Bishop, Blake, Bodhi, Briggs, Brody, Brooks C Caleb, Campbell, Carter, Caspian, Charlie, Cody, Colby, Cole, Colton, Cooper, Crew, Crosby, Cruz D Dallas, Dash, Dawson, Dax, Deacon, Declan, Diego, Dillan, Donovan, Dorian, Duke, Dustin, Dylan E Easton, Eden, Eli, Elias, Elliott, Emerson, Emmett, Ender, Enrique, Enzo, Everest, Ewan, Ezra F Felipe, Finley, Finn, Fletcher, Ford, Frankie G Gabriel, Gage, Gavin, Graham, Grant, Gray, Greyson, Griffin, Gus Related: 117 Unique Names For Girls That Are Both Rare and Timeless H Harley, Henry, Hudson, Hugh, Hurley I Ian, Idris, Ira, Isaac, Isaiah J Jacob, Jack, Jaime, Jasper, Jaxon, Jayden, Jett, Jude, Julian K Kai, Khalil, Kingsley, Knox L Larkin, Leo, Liam, Logan, Luke M Mason, Maverick, Max, Memphis, Miles, Milo, Morris N Nate, Neo, Nico, Noah, Noe, Nolan O Oden, Oliver, Omari, Oscar, Otis, Owen P Percy, Peyton, Phoenix, Pierce, Porter Q Quest, Quentin, Quincy, Quinn Related: 50 Adorable and Meaningful Names For Baby Boys in 2022 R Remy, Rein, Rhett, Rhys, Roman, Ronin, Rowan, Ryan, Ryder S Samuel, Sawyer, Santiago, Sebastian, Shane, Silas T Tate, Theodore, Titan, Tobias, Toby, Trenton U Uri, Uriah, Uriel, Ulysses, Usher, Uwe V Valentino, Van, Virgil W Walker, Wesley, Wren, Wrenynn, Wyatt X Xander, Xavi, Xavier Y Yasir, Yates, Yonah, York, Yunis, Yuri Z Zachary, Zaiden, Zander, Zane https://www.popsugar.com/family/Cute-Boy-Names-43713664?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

[snowbellewells]

CS Fic Rec Monday: Fics I Loved in 2019 /// July - September

Continuing my goal to celebrate the fics I most enjoyed last year, here comes by third list of great fics for 2019. Again, I am sure there were even more, but these were the ones I remembered or found in scrolling by through my history...

“Break Me” by @thisonesatellite​ 

It’s hard to believe it’s really only been about six months since I discovered and started reading Stephanie’s incredible and affecting stories! And this one was the one that reeled me in! An amazingly unique, heartwrenching, and thrilling supernatural fic that you just won’t be able to put down. I certainly couldn’t!   (I also discovered her older short MC “it’s our scars that give us character” during this time frame, for a bonus suggestion. :)

“A Drowning Soul Will Clutch at any Straw” by @shireness-says​

This one shot was written for last year’s @cssns​ event, and features a pirate Killian and his discovery of a mermaid Emma. Where they go from there is so beautifully well-done it reads like a true classic fairy tale. It’s lovely and inventive, and I can almost guarantee you’ll want to go back to it again and again.

“Sadie Hawkins Dance” by: @searchingwardrobes​

Okay, so I just had to list this particular fic from Melanie’s Fandom Birthday Playlist separately, as it was written for my birthday!! ;) <3 I loved every little bit of it, but it feels particularly special since Emma and Killian are teachers like me in this modern au version, and it’s so touchingly sweet and perfect how they go from friends to more.  (Other birthday playlist highlights in this time period: “If I Fall” and “Your Love is a Song”)

“Just Human, Volume 2″ by: @donteattheappleshook​

This touching story is also from last summer’s @cssns​ event, and a take on the BBC’s show Being Human, with Emma, Killian, and David as the ghost, vampire and werewolf roommates. I love how emotionally affecting this was. It has really stayed with me ever since reading it.

“One Day” by @darkcolinodonorgasm​

Another @cssns​ fic that just reeled me in right from the start and hasn’t let go of my imagination since! I love the version of a cursed Storybrooke the author has created, and her Henry just struck me right in the heart. This WIP has me hanging on every update to see how things will finally be put right.

“Historical Inaccuracies” by @thejollyroger-writer​

This is a lovely July 4th flavored fic with a fun CS and Charming family feel and just a happy modern au one shot. Such an entertaining read with an adorable little Leo Nolan for added irresistibility. :)

“Rainbound” by @profdanglaisstuff​

This one shot sees Emma and KIllian stranded at his remote cabin, thinking they hate each other, but over the course of their time there, they find they have more in common than they’d realized. It’s beautiful how they come to this, and the connection that flares between them.

“On What They Fall” by @profdanglaisstuff​

This story of Emma and Killian as younger versions of themselves in a non-magic AU will tug on every single one of your heartstrings all throughout the course of it!  You will ache for Emma and for Killian both, even as they cause each other more pain with misunderstanding and self-doubt.  It makes the hard-earned ending all the more glorious a reward though! Plus, there’s lovely CaptainBook in this one as well - which I always love! ;)

“The Very Witching Time” by @profdanglaisstuff​

Oh my goodness!! This entry to last summer’s @cssns​ event features a witch!Emma and perhaps the most completely adorable version of Killian I’ve yet read.  I don’t want to spoil all the lovely thrills and chills of this one, but if you missed it, you’re in for a supernatural treat!

“Time and Again” by @kmomof4​

This engaging and completely romantic take on Killian and Emma as soulmates destined to meet even in a non-magical modern AU is wonderful!! It has mutiple chapters, but you’ll want to devour it all in one go to see as our lovely OTP’s connection strengthens and their True Love grows.

“Sick of Love” by @spartanguard​

This one was such an interesting take on the whole idea of soulmates and how they find each other. I could feel Emma’s pain and how torn she was all throughout it and how much Killian wanted to reach out to her. Neither of them could ignore how drawn to each other they were - really amazingly well-written!!

“Mistress of the Sea” by @let-it-raines​

This lovely short series of one shots has such an appealing take on the Captain Wench version of Emma and Killian. I love how they meet, how they completely charm each other - changing the course of both their lives up to that point - and set out together on their own new adventure! You don’t want to miss this one!!

“An Education in Southern Gothic” by @searchingwardrobes​

Man alive! This entry into the @cssns​19 event has just the right about of thrills and chills without becoming too much for a definite chicken like me. I honestly can’t resist Killian as a teacher/professor, which Melanie gives us here, and the mystery surrounding the school, as well as the still very real threat reaching its claws into the present will make you unable to stop reading this one until you reach the end. There’s friends to love romance, pining, suspense, supernatural danger, both Captain Cobra and Captain Book friendship, and just everything you could want in a fic really!

“Took My Soul, Wiped It Clean” and “Echo” by @shireness-says​

Two lovely, feelsy and AMAZING one shots I discovered during this time period. “Echo” is a much more deeply layered and affecting take on heart-sharing, and “Took My Soul, Wiped it Clean” has one of the most heartwarming daddy!Killian versions I’ve ever read (and one of the most engaging and perfectly formed CS kids I’ve read as well!)

“Until the Day Breaks and the Shadows Flee” by @searchingwardrobes​

This alternate take on the Cupid and Psyche myth also brings to mind previous of versions of the Beauty and the Beast fairy tale and gives nods to elements of the OuaT 5b Underworld arc (but much more affectingly written!) I loved Emma’s bravery in this one, and how she and Killian tentatively move toward affection and genuinely knowing each other’s hearts. Achingly lovely!!

“Life Meant Nothing Until You Used My Toothbrush” by @let-it-raines​

This one shot first written for last year’s @csseptembersunshine​ event is one of my favorite of Raines’ MANY awesome stories. I love the cozy small town feel of it, how it’s a bit of a mash-up with Gilmore Girls, and the friendship Emma and Killian have and the way it finally becomes romantic for them as well. :)

[moviemagistrate]

ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD review

ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD is my favorite movie of the 2010’s. 

I’ll give you a minute to put your recently-blown mind back together.

So why do I love this movie so much? The overall response to Quentin Tarantino’s supposedly penultimate opus has been very positive if not rapturous, but I’ve seen some surprisingly lukewarm and even negative reviews, with people criticizing it for being slow, meandering, lacking in depth or *shudder* boring. Obviously the quality of any movie is subjective, as I’m quick to remind anyone who hates Michael Bay movies, but I honestly don’t understand people who dislike OUATIH. Maybe it’s a matter of expectations, because I didn’t know how to feel about the film for much of the first time I watched it either.

The year is 1969, a time of great political and cultural change in the country and in the entertainment industry. The star-driven films of yesteryear are giving way to grittier, artsier, more auteur-driven works as we primarily follow Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio), former star of a popular cowboy show whose failed attempt to start an A-list movie career has left him relying on guest spots as TV villains-of-the-week to stay afloat. This is wonderfully laid out in the opening scene where he meets casting director Marvin Schwarz (Al Pacino, easily his best role since JACK & JILL), who lays out Rick’s lowering hierarchical status (“Who’s gonna kick the shit out of you next week? How about Batman & Robin? PING. POW”), while offering him an opportunity to be a leading-man again in Italian pictures.

Tagging along is Rick’s best, and maybe only, friend Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt), Rick’s go-with-the-flow stunt-double who in the slowdown of Rick’s career has effectively become his driver and gofer, as well as Rick’s sole source of emotional support. Rick is also neighbors with Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie), the beautiful young actress and wife of then-superstar director Roman Polanski (whose inclusion in the film is minimal and handled tastefully), as she lives out her idyllic life, beloved by those around her like the ray of sunshine she was in real life. Her gated, hillside home looms over Rick’s, as he ponders aloud about how even meeting her the right way could resurrect his career.

For almost two-and-a-half hours, we follow these three characters as they just live out their lives, Rick nursing hangovers and having emotional breakdowns in front of his 8-year-old co-star on set while contemplating his future, Cliff going where the wind blows him while taking care of his adorable and highly-trained dog, and Sharon as she drives around Old Hollywood, spends time with her friends, and sneaks into a matinee showing of one of her movies, her eyes and infectious smile beaming with pride when the audience laughs at her comedic timing and cheers her martial-arts prowess.

I think it’s safe to say it’s not the film any of us were expecting from Quentin Tarantino. Having only made loud, gory, over-the-top genre pastiches for the last 15 years, you’d expect from the trailers for this to be about an actor and his sexy stunt-double getting mixed up with the Manson family before teaming up with Bruce Lee to save Sharon Tate from her horrific real-life fate, mixed with the filmmaker’s usual self-indulgent homages to films of yesteryear. While some of this is true to some extent, it’s surprisingly a much more relaxed, easygoing dramedy that follows a trio of funny, charismatic people as they just…exist, as people living in the moment instead of relics.

OUATIH is much more concerned with atmosphere, character, and capturing the feeling of a bygone era than the traditional narrative structure. It’s more effective than pretty much every nostalgia trip movie I've ever seen because you can feel Tarantino's affection for this era of his childhood bleed through every character, car, song, radio advertisement, TV show, background poster, etc. It’s through this meticulous level of detail and willingness to just hang out with these characters and take in this world that he reconstructed, Tarantino successfully resurrects the era in all its 35mm glory, but with the knowing twinge of real-world melancholy.

I guess the reason I love it so much is because the love that Tarantino has for everything and everyone in it is so tangible that it’s infectious. Watching OUATIH I honestly felt like I understood him better as both a filmmaker and as a person. He shows a level of restraint and maturity I haven’t seen since JACKIE BROWN. Even most of his trademark foot fetishizing is tasteful and subdued (I say “most” because I recall at least three close-ups of actresses’ feet that definitely made him a bit sweaty behind the camera). He’s a weird, shameless nerd with a big ego, but he’s 100% sincere about expressing his love for film and its rich history. And it’s this love, and the skill and style with which it’s expressed, that just put a big smile on my face each of the 6 (SIX) times that I’ve seen it since it came out. 

Tarantino offers a tantalizing contrast between reality and fantasy. Throughout the film, as the characters of Hollywood live in their own idyllic world, relaxing in pools or driving around in bitchin’ cars, we also see the disquieting eeriness and griminess of the Manson family. The soundtrack and accompanying old-timey commercials for tanning butter or Mug Root Beer that plays through a lot of the film is a joy to listen to, but we also hear news bulletins of the war in Vietnam or the aftermath of the Bobby Kennedy assassination. You could argue this is just to set the scene for the era, but it feels too deliberate, because even after that joyously fantastical ending, we remember that it was just a fairy tale and real life didn’t turn out as pleasantly. Tarantino’s ability to make his world and characters so meticulously detailed and lived-in works to great effect in instilling a bittersweet melancholy to this film in a way I was really taken aback by. It feels like a window into his soul, someone who yearns for the fantasy of the world he grew up in but remembering that not all good things last and not everything in your nostalgic past was good to begin with.

One beautiful, spellbinding scene is Rick and Cliff coming back from their excursion into the world of Italian filmmaking. In this montage, we see Rick, Cliff and Rick’s new Italian wife arriving at the airport and driving home before unpacking their baggage, interspersed with Sharon Tate welcoming a guest at her home and having lunch, before cutting to a series of shots of famous LA landmarks like Grauman's Chinese Theatre, Taco Bell, and Der Wienerschnitzel all meticulously resurrected in their retro glory as they light up the night. “Baby, baby, baby you’re out of time”, sings Mick Jagger as we’re watching multiple stories about people who are each embodying those words: Rick’s career, his friendship with Cliff, Sharon Tate, and Hollywood itself.

Tarantino himself feels like one of the last mainstream auteur filmmakers, as well as one of the last and biggest proponents of shooting large-budget movies on film (even Scorsese’s embraced digital now, the fantastically-talented traitor). And with the rise of streaming services, one can’t help but feel like the movie-going experience itself is also becoming obsolete, especially recently, what with theaters going to war with distributors over fucking TROLLS: WORLD TOUR, not to mention that global pandemic we’ve been having lately all but killing general audiences’ enthusiasm for the movie theater experience (Christopher Nolan’s TENET certainly didn’t help). If all these things, both real and fictional, are indeed out of time, then at least with Tarantino’s penultimate film they get one hell of a bittersweet sendoff, a great time that’s more of an Irish wake than a funeral, and it’s a film I have no issue calling a truly introspective, late-career masterpiece.

And that’s without mentioning uniformly incredible cast. Leo DiCaprio, an actor I normally don’t care too much for, gives the best and funniest performance of his career as a dependent prima donna actor clinging to his remaining fame. Brad Pitt earns the hell out of his Oscar as an embodiment of old-school masculinity and charisma with an amazing set of abs (and everything else) whose outward coolness masks his mysterious past and complete badass-ness. Margot Robbie shines in her depiction of Tate, a beacon of warmth and likability who in many ways symbolized the love and carefree attitudes of the swingin’ 60’s. I’ve heard people criticize her character for not having a lot of dialogue, but to me it feels like they’re ignoring the visual storytelling, which just gives way to them assuming the film is sexist just because the female lead isn’t constantly monologuing. Every member of the supporting cast is memorable with their own quirks and great lines, no matter their screentime.

And of course, it wouldn’t be a Tarantino joint without some truly hilarious and shocking violence, and without going into spoiler territory, the last 20 minutes delivers on this promise to such a degree that I feel comfortable calling it the best thing he’s ever done. Some may decry the climax as unnecessary or over-the-top, but the way it leads to an alternate world while subtly acknowledging what happened in the real one is cathartic beyond belief. And if you’re paying attention, every scene in the movie has been quietly building towards this finale, which to me takes away any potential of feeling meandering in the story. If you saw the movie and didn’t much care for it, I recommend giving it another watch. Having the context ahead of time makes it feel so much more rewarding, and even on the fifth watch I’m noticing clever, subtle set-ups I missed beforehand.

It’s also just super cozy and really easy to watch. The two hours and 45 minutes fly by. I could watch a 4-hour version of this.

Quentin, if you’re reading this, please don’t let your last movie be Star Trek.