#admittedly this AU would be the only one where I wouldn’t feel some measure of sadness over the events of Not Crassus’ death

[brother-emperors]

honestly? central aspect to whatever the fuck crassus was up to at any given moment in politics

[crow-summoner]

Darklina Week Day 2: Role Reversal

Sun Summoner!Darkling and Shadow Summoner!Alina

Alina, a cartographer for the Ravken Army, undertakes a dangerous mission to stay by her only friend’s side. They must cross the Forge, a hellscape of intense heat and unrelenting light that has torn their country in two. Nothing can survive the Forge for long. Nothing but the monsters that call it home. Alina thinks she and Mal will make it as long as they’re together, but when their mission falls to pieces, Alina discovers something shocking about herself. She can banish light. Her powers draw the attention of the Golden General, a military leader who scares and intrigues Alina in equal measure. One thing’s for sure. Alina can’t go back to life of a mouse, and the General’s her best option to fight for something more. Can Alina save her world, or will she die trying?

Or, an AU where light powers aren’t necessarily good, and shadow powers get to be heroic. Content warning for some volcra expy related gore and some canon-consistent sprinkles of Malina at the beginning. There’s plenty of Darkles after that, now with extra sparkles.

Story under the jump

The Forge

Alina sits at the inn window, adding the last buttery yellow lines to her painting. For being such a blight against their nation, the Forge made a lovely landscape. She dons her fabrikator sunglasses, and turning her back to the unrelenting sunlight, she lifts her tented mirror up to compare her painting to the real thing. Her superior officers would kill her if they knew what she was using their equipment for, but the Forge is too bright to look at directly. Her superiors may not appreciate art, but if she’s going to risk her life for more supplies, she wants to leave a memorial for herself.

“It looks too much like a vacation spot,” Mal says, dragging up a chair so he can sit next to her. He’s already wearing his glasses and darkened veil, which will supposedly keep the Forge from boiling their eyes out and trap moisture near their faces. Alina would be happier if more than army issued fashion stood between her and certain death.

“You make a pretty bride, you know that?” Alina says instead of responding to the criticism. There were enough horrors in the Forge. She wanted make something pleasant. She places her canvas between the shelf and the wall, hoping that someone working at the inn will find it.

Mal huffs. “You wouldn’t say that if you saw the bags under my eyes. Don’t know how people sleep around here.”

Alina supposes people can get used to anything, even perpetual daylight. She secures her mirror and knives to her belt and dons her veil and gloves. She shimmies down the narrow walkway as if showing off the latest fashion. “What do you think?”

Mal makes a show of considering it, rubbing his chin under the veil. “I think the sveta will be too smitten to eat you.”

Alina tilts her head in mock coyness. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me.” She leaves it unspoken that she wishes someone else was smitten with her.

“Come on,” Mal says, taking her by the arm. “I want to be on time for once.”

By the time they reach the skiff, Alina and Mal are five minutes late. Thankfully, Alexei, her fellow cartographer, covered for her.

“You owe me,” he says, shoving her maps into her hands.

“I’ll bake you a cake,” Alina promises.

“You already owe me twelve cakes!”

“Then I’ll name my first born after you.”

Alexei snorts. “Like any of us are going to live long enough to have kids. We’re all going to be beef jerky in a few hours.”

“Squeak. Squeak, Alexei.” It’s the code their cartographers have for when Alexei’s boundless optimism is bringing them down.

Normally, Alexei would grumble but acquiesce. Today, he just stares at the skiff. “Do you really think the sveta are real?”

Alina shrugs. “What else could eat our men out there?” Admittedly, invisible creatures made of light sounded farfetched, but she’s seen the battle scars. Other soldiers had claw mark scars across their chest and spots where something inhuman had taken a bite out of them. The light could blister, burn and tan flesh, but it couldn’t do that.

“I dunno. Maybe him,” Alexei said, eyeing the golden carriage in the distance. “The Geldling.”

Alina quickly hushes him. General Kirigan tolerates others calling him the Golden General, but he does not take kindly to the Geldling. Sure, the epitaph was based on an old Kerch word for gold, but gelding is also what one did to a prized horse to keep it docile. It was as good as saying their leader is a ballless pet, and everyone knows it.  

Sure enough, one of the heartrenders lifts his veil and glares at them. He might have been handsome once, but his sour expression makes the lines on his face hard.

“Captain Herring may be rough, but he’s not a cannibal.” Alina hopes this is enough to cover over their mistake. The heartrender doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t fight them either. That suited Alina well enough.

“Watch what you say,” she whispers to Alexei. “We have to depend on these people to survive. Don’t make them mad.”

Alexei nods. “Sorry.”

Thankfully, the rest of their time at the dock goes smoothly. Soon, all the soldiers and Girsha gather inside the metal skiff, ready to take off. A tidemaker hoses them all down, making Alina feel like a drenched rat, but the water is important in such a hot place.

Alina makes sure to stand by Mal, gripping his arm for support as the skiff slides along the sand. There’s enough space to move around, but something about the lack of windows makes the room feel unbearably tight. It’s like one big coffin.

Squeak, squeak, Alina tells herself. No one’s going to die today.

The skiff rattles as they pass over marker zero. They’re officially in the Forge. The panels in the side of the skiff slide up. Rows of dark nets allow squallers to force air out without letting the light in. They’ll have to use the tinted mirrors along the sides of the skiff to direct it.

Alina fans herself, wishing the nets could ease the heat. She was drenched just minutes ago, but her uniform’s now bone dry. Sure, the tidemakers periodically release a mist from their fancy containers and push it around the cabin, but that’s like giving a starving man a single bite.

“I bet I can sweat more than you,” Mal jokes, and she’s sure it’s to help distract her. Even the dumbest man in their unit wouldn’t brag about that.

“No way. Sweat more than that heartrender over there, and you have a deal,” she whispers back. It was a hard challenge. The heartrender already smelled like he’d bathed in nothing but used socks for years.

Mal leans back in shock. “Yikes. Are you trying to kill me? I can’t beat that.”

Alexei sniffs beside them, rubbing under his veil. “My lids are scraping my eyeballs.”

Alina reaches over and slaps his hand the way she used to do with the younger kids at the orphanage. “Then stop picking at them.”

Alexei mumbles. He’s a good cartographer, but he also comes from money, and that didn’t always make for a good soldier. Alina wonders if she should have erased his name instead of Ruby’s. This mission called for two cartographers, and Ruby could withstand discomfort better than he could, but Alina wasn’t thinking rationally. Mal was going to go into the Forge by himself, and Alina needed to remove someone so she could forge her own name on the mission papers. Mal wouldn’t give Alexei a second glance, but Ruby had red hair and a slim figure. Alina couldn’t risk Mal having “glad we’re still alive” sex with her after the mission. It was petty, childish even, but Alina couldn’t help herself. If they all survive the skiff, she’ll woman up and tell Mal how she feels. Lord knows hanging in this middle ground wasn’t doing either of them any favors.  

The skiff shakes, and Alexei grabs the walls. “Saints! It’s the sveta.”

The squaller at the helm shushes him. “Just a bump. Don’t call attention to us.”

Alexei’s shoulders slump, but he retakes his position behind the squaller without another word.

Alina can’t help but lean around her squaller to peak in her mirror. She’d heard about calcified roots surviving the Forge long after the crops perished. The real thing must be prettier than the paintings. Instead of a root, Alina finds the fragments of a skull and the front of a skiff.

She steps back, her stomach sinking into her boots. It’s one thing to know the odds, but it’s another to stare the evidence in the face. Better men than them have failed to cross.

The crew stand in silence as the skiff passes the first marker. Alina gives her squaller the proper directions and distances, and soon they pass the second marker. The third. The fourth. Alina allows herself to hope. Just eleven more and they’re home free.

She scratches her arm, and flakes of dry skin come off. No wonder the skiff regulars look like leather. She’d rather go AWOL than do this again. Then again, she didn’t have be here this time either. She has no one to blame but herself.

The skiff rumbles and tilts. It’s just another bump, she assures herself, but something raps against the ceiling. The heartrenders tense up, and the squallers shift their positions.

Oh, no.

She checks on Mal just to be sure, but he’s clutching his gun tight, his head tilted up. It’s the same stance he took when he found that rabbit in a barren forest or when he was about to catch her during hide and seek. He’s sighted something, only this time, that something is stronger than them.

The squaller at the helm brings the skiff to a stop and signals for the shooters and heartrenders to take position. All the non-combat staff – cartographers included – must gather at the center. Alina takes out her knife and her tented mirror, praying she won’t have to use them.

“Protect yourselves if you must,” the squaller whispers, “but don’t get in anyone’s way.”

Alina’s never felt more useless in her life.

The skiff continues to shake, harder this time. Something whines above them. Something answers it’s call from somewhere in front of them. Another whine sounds from behind the skiff. From all sides. How many of them are out there? At least a dozen given the sheer number of cries. No one dares make a sound. The sveta are fierce, but they’re just as blind as a human in the Forge. Maybe if they don’t hear anything, they’ll get bored and hunt elsewhere.

The ceiling dents in with a clank, knocking the skiff to the right. One of the soldiers jumps at the sound, aiming where it came from. The squaller at the helm blows him away, but not in time. The shot blows a hole in the ceiling, letting the light in. The beam hits a tidemaker’s shoulders, carving a smoking black line through her kefta. She screams, tearing off the cloth to expose a blistering gash. A healer pulls her to the side as one her friends tries to stifle her screams with a damp cloth, but it’s too late. The sveta cries draw closer.

Something claws a large hole through the ceiling, the soldiers scrambling to avoid the new beams. Some squallers attempt to blow up a tarp to cover the open areas, but it stops in thin air. No. Not thin air. The tarp drapes over something Alina can’t see with her naked eye. Under the plastic, she can make out its large, pointed wings and snout.

“Blast it,” the squaller at the helm shouts, and the soldiers open fire on the creature. It whines, batting away the tarp, and then it’s gone.

For a moment, no one makes a move. The cabin is utterly silent. Then something flashes across Alina’s mirror, and the next thing she knows, the soldier beside her explodes in a splash of red. On the other side of the skiff, a healer’s hand disappears. He draws back, clutching his now bloody stump as one of the creatures screeches in triumph.

Alina backs up, though there’s nowhere left to go. Oh, saints. She should have never come here. She begs every saint she can think of to forgive whatever sin brought her to this horrible moment. Shooting her fellow man in combat. Wishing harm to the girls Mal so much as looked at. Disregarding Ana Kuya’s rules at every turn. Whatever it was, she repented. Just please don’t let her die at some monster’s hand.

The durasts burst dust in the air. It makes their own people cough, but it helps make the sveta more visible.

BAM!

Another chunk of ceiling caves in, forcing the crew to huddle along the perimeter to escape the light. Not all of them were quick enough. Several soldiers blister and peel, crying as the sveta tear off chunks of flesh from their bodies.

Alina can only stare. It’s too late for prayers. Too late to run. She should have talked Mal into fleeing while she had the chance, and now ... Alina holds out her mirror, a new hope setting in. They might not make it out, but she can at least die by Mal’s side. He has to know how she feels.

Alina slowly shifts through the chaos, dodging shots and beams of light. She finds him by the helm, taking deep breaths as he aims and shoots. Something heavy hits the floor, gurgling. Of course. Leave it to Mal to find the creatures without a mirror.

She shines her mirror in the direction the creature fell, hoping to avoid tripping its body, but to her surprise, she can just make out the sheen of its skin. The colors change as she tilts the mirror, first blue, then pink and maybe green. All the colors of the rainbow. It reminds her of looking through a prism. Not invisible then. The sveta are just reflective.

Alina giggles. Ana Kuya would be so proud of her, committing to her education even as she’s about to die. She keeps giggling over and over, knowing that if she stops, she’ll have to cry. There are just so many bodies around her. They used to be people, and now they’re meat.

Someone grabs her wrist, and a shot of energy courses through her, quieting the hysteria. Mal drags her beside him.

“I’m sorry,” she says, but he’s busy readying his next shot. “I lo – ” She doesn’t get any further. Another soldier’s bullet ricochets off the wall and hits Mal in the shoulder. He doubles over, his gun clattering to the floor.

Alina drops her mirror, pressing a palm against the wound. The blood seeps from between her fingers no matter how hard she tries to stop the flow.

Mal slides to the floor, Alina crouching beside him. The light streams against them, burning her chest and his back. The pain means nothing compared to the loss.

“No. Not like this,” she says, covering Mal’s body with her own.

The pain in her back only lasts a second. It occurs to her that this is not a good thing. It means her nerves have been eaten away, but she’s glad to do it if it means Mal can live.

Something rumbles in the pit of her stomach. She feels like she’s going to burst, and she doesn’t have the strength to fight it.

All around her, the creatures cry and flap their wings erratically. She doesn’t have time think about it as the world goes dark, sinking her into a deep oblivion.

 *****************************

 Alina wakes, draped over someone’s shoulder, face buried in the red cloth of his kefta. She only lifts her head for one moment, but the light’s unbearable.

The light?

“Mal,” Alina shouts. She wiggles to free herself from the Grisha’s grip. The sveta will come back at any moment. She has to find Mal. Protect him. Where is he?

But they’re not on the skiff anymore. They’re back at the dock, the skiff a shredded husk. People rush every which way, some tending to the wounded and some salvaging the cargo from the hold. Mal could be anywhere among them. Then Alina catches sight of the ground. Oh, saints! So many people lay unmoving on the dock, and Grisha and First Army soldiers keep dragging out more. All these people she trained with. Ate with. Sung bawdy songs with when they’d all had too much kvas. Dead. They can’t all be gone. Right? Right?

Alina kicks at the Grisha. She needs to see for herself who made it out. Mal better be among them. Of course, he would be. He was the best tracker Ravka’s ever seen. He’d always find his way back home. Home to her.

The Grisha swears at her, trying to stop her feet with one arm. “Be still.” She recognizes him. The heartrender that had sneered at Alexei’s comment earlier. Alina drives a fist in the heartrender’s back. If Grisha like him had done more they wouldn’t be in the situation. He did it on purpose, didn’t he? He let their soldiers die because someone spoke against his leader. His pride meant more than the supplies they’d get from West Ravka. More than human life.

“Fine.” With a huff, the Grisha drops her flat on her butt, sand puffing in her face. She’s coughing too much to fight him off when the heartrender takes her by her bicep and drags her towards the camp. Another heartrender takes her other arm, his grip gentler than his coworker’s.

“Was that necessary, Ivan?” The second heartrender asked.

Ivan only grunts “Fedyor” as a warning in response. Fedyor shakes his head with what Alina would call fondness if she thought anyone could be fond of something as sour as Ivan.

“Where’s Mal?” Alina asks Fedyor, but he only lifts a brow. Of course, he wouldn’t recognize the name of a common solider. There were so many of them, and Grisha only concerned themselves with their own. “The boy I was with on the skiff.”

“Ah. Him,” Fedyor says. “The First Army tends to their own wounded. He’s in their care.”

Alina knows what that means. He’s laying outside the infirmary tent, waiting for his turn to have an undertrained medic pour alcohol in his wounds then pack them with mustard plaster. If he’s lucky, they’ll still have enough bandages for him to get his own. Having to use the scraps from old uniforms inevitably led to infection, and without supplies from the west, the camp outpost could not provide the steady diet of alcohol needed to survive that misery. Mal is popular, though. She’s sure someone will be willing to sacrifice their stash for his comfort.

Then it occurs to her that she’s not doing the same thing. She’d been horribly burned by the light, and yet her back doesn’t ache. Someone must have removed her jacket while Alina was unconscious, but her undershirt is scorched where the light hit it. Her chest is unusually red, but it’s not blistering or charred. The worst she can say is that she feels like she’s been awake for days.

“Why would someone heal me?” She’s heard it a thousand times before. Healers were too rare to waste on common soldiers. They were for Grisha and those wealthy enough to be a priority. She is neither, and yet when she looks up at Fedyor, he’s gazing down at her with some feeling she dares not define. It was the same look the Grisha gave the golden carriage when it barreled into the encampment. The same look the peasants near Keramzin gave the bones of Saint Felix on his day of worship. If she didn’t know better, she’d call it reverence.

They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity when he finally says, “We survived.” Alina doesn’t know what she has to do with that. It was luck. Pure and simple. But then Fedyor closes his eyes and whispers, “Thank you.”

A chill runs through Alina despite the heat. She looks at the tents, the people running around them, anywhere and everywhere but at Fedyor and that look, full of expectations she can never fill. They’ve long since passed the First Army section, but they’re now leaving the main Grisha area, heading up the northmost path. There’s nothing there except for the single yellow tent towering over the rest of the encampment.

Alina pulls back, but it does nothing to stop the heartrenders. “What does the General want with me?”

“Just answer his questions, so we call all get on with our day,” Ivan says.

“I don’t know anything! Let go of me!” She turns to look back at the First Army camp, too far away for anyone to see her let alone help. Not that they could do anything if they wanted to. No one says no to the General.

Fedyor grips the back of her neck, and her whole body turns to puddy. The heartrenders lean into her, holding her upright because her knees can no longer bear her weight. She’s too relaxed to move at all.

Ivan sniffs. “You weren’t supposed to do that for anyone but me.”

Fedyor grins. “Sorry, luv. Desperate times and all that.”

They march her straight into the lion’s den.

She doesn’t know what she expected to see. A jeweled throne and a menagerie of exotic animals like the ones she’d seen in the illustrated book of fairy tales back at the orphanage? Enemy soldiers kept in cages and chained otkazat’sya serving the Grisha like the Fjerdan pamphlet a traveler tried to give them before Ana Kuya kicked them off the duke’s property? But this place resembled the main tent for the First Army. Soldiers clustered together around a round table. A large map hung from a board, thread and pegs marking paths, places and interesting parties. And yet the General’s tent was larger than theirs, made of bulletproof core cloth while they had to make do with spun cotten. They must not need to ration oil either given the number of lamps lit, and the gathered Grisha shone like banners in their blue, red and purple keftas. No olive drab for them.

Most of the room turned to face them when the heartrenders dragged Alina in. Some now look at her with open curiosity and others with incredulous expressions. Soft mummers pass through the crowd until someone raises their hand, and the whole lot fall silent. Saints, Alina never heard a tent so quiet before. Even during lights out, at least one person snored.

Without needing to be told, the Grisha step back, parting down the center to make a path. A lone man strides forward, his telltale yellow kefta billowing around him. Notes of silver, white and gold weave through it, enough thread to stitch three tents of this size together, but he’s not wearing the jewelry she’d expect from his high rank, and his clothes are core cloth like any other Grisha. She’s never seen a high officer without any silk on, no matter how impractical it might be. After all, most never saw battle. Not like this one had.

The Golden General is younger than she’d expected given what others said about him. She’d seen a shriveled man with boney hands covered in warts in her mind’s eye, but this man barely had a decade on her, and his warm blonde hair and fair, flawless complexion were pleasing on the eyes. Too pleasing. Even the most beautiful boy back home had some freckle or ruddiness to his skin, but the General’s looks almost painted on. It’s eerie, and yet she can’t look away. He’s like the very embodiment of the light, except there’s a coldness in his gaze and calm comportment.

He may be light, but he’s not warmth.

That right, she tells herself. Ana Kuya warned her about such things before. One of the orphans she’d grown up with saw a gold coin glittering in some bushes under a hill. He’d climbed down for it, only to be rolled by some travelers. They took the buttons from his coat and the boots from his feet. He came home with nothing but his pants and a gash on his forehead. Ana Kuya warned them all then: not all that’s gold glitters. Sometimes, it burns instead. Gold tempts the desperate, but Alina is not blind. The General only looked like a man. He can boil someone’s insides. Make their flesh rot from their bone as if they were already dead.  Burn them with a glance. And here he is, looking straight at her.

The General stops a few feet away and clasps his hands behind his back. He looks her over, and she doesn’t know whether to be scared or grateful that she can’t read what conclusions he’s drawn. He nods at the heartrenders, and Fedyor rubs the back of Alina’s neck. Her limbs come back to life, panic rising from her core. She wants to run, but there’s no point.

The General stares at her, impassive, and then finally: “Is it true?”

For a moment, Alina believes the absurd. He’s read her thoughts and knows what she said about him being a monster. Then it occurs to her that he’s talking about the skiff. She closes her eyes. What does he want her to say? She was unconscious for most of what went down, and she can barely remember what she was present for. Flashes of her coworker’s blood and blistering arms intrude behind her closed lids, forcing them open again. Maybe it’s best she can’t remember.

She must have taken too long to answer because the General speaks again. “Is it true that you can banish the light?”

All Alina can do is blink. This has to be a joke, but the General’s expression is serious, and everyone around them is leaning in with anticipation. She knows better than to laugh in their faces and question their intelligence, so she makes do by stuttering, “No one can do that.” It takes a moment, but she remembers to add a quick “sir.” She’s not used to being around anyone important.

She braces herself for him to yell at her the way the generals in their army do, but he merely nods. “Then what did happen?”

Alina struggles for an answer. She tries to tell him that she doesn’t know how the sveta got in, or how their ship made it, but no matter what she says, she keeps returning to those burning soldiers. The General frowns, and she knows she needs to come up with something – anything – to appease him.

The General raises a hand to silence her, and when he speaks, his tone is smooth and calm. “It must have been scary out there. It’s one thing to read about the attacks, but it’s another to live it.”

Alina hadn’t expecting any sympathy, so she just nods.

“You must be exhausted.” When Alina nods again, the General continues. “It’s hard to make sense of anything when you hurt so much. I could help with that if you’ll let me.” He gestures beside him, inviting her closer.

He may have asked for permission, but Alina isn’t sure she really has a choice. Still, he’s been nothing but polite so far. She has nothing to lose by playing along.

Alina slowly closes the gap between them, and the closer she gets, the closer she wants to get. It’s like he’s a magnet, and she’s loose filigree coming together for the first time. She feels the warmth now, not in his continence, but all around him. It doesn’t burn. It doesn’t tingle. It numbs the heaviness of her limbs and banishes the panic that’s haunted her since the skiff penetrated the Forge. Before she knows it, Alina’s pressed up against the General. She’s vaguely aware that it’s not appropriate to stand so close to a superior, and it’s definitely not safe to be within biting distance of a monster, but it feels right. She doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

The General doesn’t seem to mind either, staring deep into her eyes like he’s trapped, too. Her reflection stares back at her in his eyes. They’re just so bright and shiny. She has a hard time placing the color. It reminds her of one of the duke’s vases. The blown glass was iridescent and shimmered with every color around it. She and Mal had argued for years over what color it really was. He said purple. She said green. They finally settled things with a good arm wrestle. Green won, of course. Alina decides that the General’s eyes are green, too.

“May I?” He asks, and though she can’t see where he’s pointing, she answers his unspoken request, sliding her hand in his. His palms are rough from life on the road, but they’re warm, and his grip os gentler than Fedyor’s had been. She could hold his hand and stare into his eyes forever.

“What happened?” The General asks in a voice softer than silks.

The words spill out of Alina on their own. She tells him about forging her name on the staff list. The attack. Shielding Mal. The sveta descending on them, and then – “All I could look at was him, but I could feel the light getting sucked away. Everything went black, and then I woke up on the docks.”

The General says nothing, but his eyes briefly narrow. It’s not a threat as far as Alina can tell. Whatever she said seemed to confirm something for him. The General pushes up her sleeve with his free hand, never breaking her gaze. She doesn’t fight it. She’s curious, too. Something happened back on that skiff. It’s there lurking there in the back of her brain, begging to be revealed. She knows once it’s free, it can never be caged again. The thought simultaneously thrills her and makes her shiver.

The General trails one finger up her arm. Something inside her responds to act, rejoices in it. His finger stops and curls around her forearm. She notes that the nail on his thumb is longer than the others. Sharp. He drives that nail into her flesh, and it’s like a thousand arms stream out of her at once.

Darkness surrounds them, putting out the lights. No, the lamps are still on. She can feel their flames licking at the shadows just as easily as she can feel the General’s grip on her arm. All around them, the Grisha shout. She can’t see them so much as she feels where they are in the dark. It the strangest sensation, and yet it feels like home. Everything is darkness.

Everything but him.

The General glows, smiling down at her. A true lamp would illuminate the world around them, but there he stands, the sole bright spot in the blackness. Standing together, it feels like they’re the only two people in the world. Then the General lets go of her arm and the darkness withers, fading into the ground or retreating under Alina’s skin to fight another day.

Alina clutches her chest, suddenly empty inside. Her head swivels every which way, desperate to find that surety again, but it’s gone. The aches have returned, magnified tenfold. She can barely keep herself upright, and soon, she’s on her knees, her head swimming.

“A shadow summoner,” some squaller says, and it’s as if a dam broke in Alina’s mind. She stares at her rough, ruddy hands. They’re not the hands of a hero, and yet it’s true. It’s all true. She can banish the light. She saved the skiff from the Forge.

She’s … Grisha.

Alina frowns, remembering what Mal said when that Grisha girl made eyes at him from the General’s carriage. He doesn’t tumble witches. Alina was glad to hear it then. It meant less competition for her, and she and Mal had exchanged plenty of digs at the Grisha over the years. Surely, he wouldn’t think she’s like the rest of them just because she has powers. She didn’t grow up coddled and self-important like the rest of them. That had to count for something. He knew her. The real her. He wouldn’t be scared of her because of her shadows.

No matter how hard Alina tries, she can’t bring herself to believe it.

The General holds out his hand. Alina stares up at him, sure she should bat it away. She’s not one of his Grisha. She’s a mapmaker and an orphan and Mal’s best friend. But that may not be true anymore, and she’d be a fool to burn any bridges.

She takes his hand, letting the General lift her to her feet. He pulls her close again, so close she can feel his breath against her face. She should let go, but she clings to his hand like it’s the last safe ledge in a rockslide. He gives her a knowing smirk, and she wants to wipe it off his stupid face. She’s had a rough day. She would have clung to literally anybody, but then the General leans in, and she feels that warmth again. His lips brush her ear as he whispers, “You and I are going to change the world.”

Notes:

Whoo! This is my first Grishaverse fanfic. It may be a little late, but it’s here. One shot for now, but I might be interested in continuing this in the future. Hope you enjoyed!

[windblooms]

topaz devices | ch. 01

if zhongli isn’t a the brightest individual blessed by the archons, then he’s socially inept, and spends his days stuck behind a desk as the heir of wangsheng incorporated.  frustrated by seeing his best friend burn through his days like paper over a bonfire, childe decides that if there’s one thing worse than a permeant desk job, it’s being converted into a corporate machine in one’s mid-twenties.  and he’s not going to let that happen to zhongli. 

gender-neutral reader x sugar daddy!zhongli.  modern au, slow burn.  chapter 1/?.  2213 words.

as usual, zhongli awakens a minute before his morning alarm goes off.  

and as he lays on the daybed, adjusting to the faint lighting of the moon that floats through the floor-to-ceiling windows of his office, the first thing he does is reach for his phone.  but when he pats down the area beside him, then above his head, and feels nothing, he begrudgingly props himself up on his elbows, and blinks the final bits of sleep out of his eyes.

this isn’t the first time he’s fallen asleep at the office.  admittedly, it’s probably over his hundredth, since he’s found it more practical to crash near his workspace than drag himself three floors up to his room.  but, oh, where did he leave his phone?  zhongli glances around, eyes no longer bleary; it’s not on the coffee table next to him, nor on the floor between it and the daybed, and for a split second he believes he left his phone at the tea station across the hall. 

and then it chimes with his alarm on the marble floor just before his work desk.

“ah,” he sighs to himself, voice still somewhat choked from the morning.  as the tone plays, he runs both of his hands through his hair, pulling back his bangs before letting them fall to the sides of his face, and takes a glance around his office: he vaguely remembers staying up until four in the morning to finish scanning over a forwarded contract, and the three empty cups of caffeinated tea that surround his desktop computer can attest to his commitment; there are reference binders on his desk that zhongli hadn’t put away after using, likely too engrossed in the project to tidy up as he worked, and the most damning evidence of his corporate devotion is easily the fact that, well – 

“conference in one hour,” his phone alarm is interrupted by the sound of its virtual assistant voice.  “conference with,” it continues in robotic fashion, “mrs. ningguang at seven-thirty-a.m.”

– he had scheduled an impromptu meeting after he finished reading said document.  as in, he intended to follow through with a meeting arrangement on less than four hours of sleep.  as in, arranged a meeting when it was three in the morning.  

as in, he also expected others to attend the conference on a four hour’s notice.  

such is the way of wangsheng incorporated, an institution where everyone involved is asked to sell their soul to the matriarch, all for the prosperity of her company.  the matriarch in this case being, of course, zhongli’s mother.

 “conference with,” his virtual assistant repeats, and zhongli hauls himself up from the daybed and onto his feet, padding over to his phone before swiping over the screen to silence all of his notifications. “mrs. ninggua – ” beep.

he inhales, stretches his arms, and then gazes out to the liyuen skyline. 

the horizon is still dark, with only hints of warmth leaking onto the expansive blanket of night.  below, however, the streets are illuminated by commuting vehicles and establishments opening for the day.  from his place on the higher floors of the company building, zhongli can only imagine the hum of life – he’s much too far up to actually hear anything.  

it’s at this moment he realizes that the last time he’s actually stepped foot out of the building was over a week ago – and a grimace becomes his first expression of the day.  archons, he didn’t think he was that busy, but begins mentally count the days regardless.  yeah, 9 days.  zhongli’s frown deepens; knowing himself, it’s probably also been 9 days since he’s left his floor on the building.

as much as he would like to leave, though, the company is more important to him.  until there’s a convenient time for him to take a break, he’ll keep working.  it’s what he’s always done – it’s what he’s good at.  

so he inhales once more, as the skyline is washed with violet.  exhales.  

the clock reads six thirty-three. 

. . . 

it’s around four in the morning when childe decides that zhongli is officially insane.

who the fuck arranges a meeting in the dead middle of the night?  granted, he’s only zhongli’s secretary, so it’s not like he has to take part in it – the gripe here is that he’s the one who manages zhongli’s entire schedule.  so when zhongli goes out on his own, arranging things without telling him first, that’s when the issues start.  

childe receives the conference notice just as the other executives do (while on a comfortable date with his bed); reading zhongli’s attached note with gunk wedged in his eyes and a screen flashing blue light directly into his irises makes him think – 

there’s no way zhongli’s in the right state of mind.  and after three whole years of working with him, others would think that childe’s used to his mercurial behavior by now.  but he would give himself more credit, insisting that he’s not that deep into the corporate mentality to put business before rationale – but maybe it’s the luxury that comes along with being a secretary and not anyone more important.

now, where was he?  oh, yeah.  plotting exactly which words to tell his boss when it’s an acceptable time in the morning.  

that means grumbling obscenities until he falls back asleep, brain power exhausted.  that means waking up at an appropriate time (read: six), rolling out of bed, then heading to the tea bar, and concluding that, well, this is just how zhongli operates.

as in, he can’t be angry at his best friend for long.

ceramic cup in hand and bedhead as thick as a haystack, childe recalls two things that were previously clouded by his indignance: one, that the business life is all zhongli’s ever known, even when he was a kid (that much was made obvious when he couldn’t even list out how many hobbies he had the first time they met).  two, the fact that, when asked, zhongli didn’t know which would be worse between losing stock investments or entire contact with the outside world. 

sheltered is probably the closest word childe can think of, but zhongli isn’t stupid either.  maybe socially inept is the better way to describe him – not like it cripples his personality entirely though.  he’s got some redeeming qualities – childe tells himself to think positively of zhongli for the entirety of his stroll down the hall towards his office – but stops short once he opens the door and realizes that, well, 

“three,” childe mouths incredulously, nearly dropping the ceramic in his hand.  “three cups of tea from last night alone?”

“good morning to you too.”

childe doesn’t have much time to gawk.  he would drag his face down with his fingers if his hands weren’t occupied, but knowing zhongli, he wouldn’t even make note of his dramatics.  absorbed into his work first thing in the morning – and childe, looking down at himself, isn’t even dressed properly.  just a dress shirt and pants, while zhongli has already decked himself out in a full-piece suit.

that’s what happens when zhongli decides that his office is where he’s going to live.

“you know,” childe starts, sighing for good measure.  the ginger makes his way over to zhongli’s desk, replacing the three cups with one of fresh tea.  glaze lily tea, to zhongli’s preference.  “staying up late isn’t good for your health.  especially when you’re high on caffeine six days a week.”

well, duh.  the words come out dumber than he intended, but it gets the point across.  it’s not childe’s job to sound intelligent, only that he knows how to manage someone else’s schedule.  

it takes a few seconds for zhongli to respond, as his fingers are busy typing away at the keyboard.  drafting another email, most likely.  in that time, childe hooks his fingers through the handles of the three cups zhongli had downed the previous night, preparing to carry them out.  “i do what i need to get things done,” the workaholic counters.  his eyes don’t leave the monitor for a second, and childe has half the mind to think that he’s a robot.  “we’ve talked about this before.”

zhongli’s not wrong, but childe’s face sours nonetheless.  “i can’t have the heir of the company sabotaged by his own toxic work ethic, and insist that you take a nap whenever possible, my liege.”

his dramatics doesn’t earn him any points.  he worries briefly that zhongli’s already gone into his own world, only able to be hauled back to the surface once the sun is far gone, and his eyebrows furrow.  but now bent on getting a constructive response from zhongli, he refuses to budge from his spot across the desk.  

almost as if he’s uncomfortable, zhongli looks up.  childe knows he’s not actually peeved, and that the brunette is just thinking of what to say.  three years of working for him taught him as much.  “if i have time to, then i will.”  the young heir averts his eyes towards the screen before meeting childe’s again.  “thanks for your concern.”

if childe were any other person, he would believe zhongli.  zhongli speaks without a falter in his voice – as if it weren’t already as smooth as velvet – and his eyes are resolute when locked onto his.  but he’s not someone else, and the closest individual to a friend that zhongli has.  it would be a disservice, both as a friend and coworker, to leave zhongli to his devices.  so childe doesn’t relent.  it’s his turn to be stubborn and set in his ways. 

he places the cups back onto the desk, and the other man looks up curiously, just in time to see childe’s eyes narrow.  “i mean it, zhongs.”

and, with just as much performative sincerity as before, zhongli says the same thing he always does, with a straight face and empty eyes.  “i do, too.”

“no, you don’t.”  childe’s scowl is as deep as his concern.  he wasn’t joking earlier when he said that zhongli would be murdered by his own obsession with work – “responsibility,” as the younger of the two would insist, but he’s blind to his own persistence, and time has made that blatantly obvious.  “i know you have a meeting soon, so i won’t stay long.  i don’t care if we’ve talked about this before,” he rushes his words, determined to get them in before zhongli quips, “it doesn’t make it any less important.”

a pause.  zhongli’s typing has halted and is instead replaced by silence.  hell, he even folds his fingers together on top of the keyboard, as if telling childe that he finally has his full attention.  but the void in his eyes hasn’t changed: amber, clouded with vermillion, and burning in coals.

childe assesses him sternly, extending the stillness of the moment, before proceeding.  “i’m going to block out your schedule tonight after eight, and we’re going to have a talk.”

zhongli tries not to look fazed.  to his credit, he really, really tries, but his posture bristles just enough to cue the secretary in on his client’s displeasure.  “no, i’m not going to watch over you for the rest of the night to make sure you sleep,” he reassures just as swiftly, half-teasing and half-serious, “but we are going to make some plans.”

both of childe’s hands are flat on the desk as the two of them regard each other.  although zhongli is the taller of the two, his position in the office chair gives childe the height advantage in the current situation.  “after you get enough rest this week, i’m going to get you out of this building,” childe vows to zhongli.  neither of them blink.  “you’re going to walk on the streets and breathe fresh air.  you’re going to spend time with people your age and eat at a restaurant.  you’re going to have fun.” 

it is at that moment, when zhongli’s face falters as if he’s being spoken to in python when his input is java, that childe realizes that he has no strategy, and that he’s just saying the things that he wants for zhongli: he refuses to believe that zhongli will continue to regard this room, conditioned with with frigid air and tailored to each tile on the floor, is his only future, and instead wants his 25 year-old boss to have some semblance of life in his days instead of bleeding through each, only to tear through the next.

childe had the choice to dream towards the life he currently lives.  on the other hand, zhongli never did.  inheriting a multi-million dollar company, especially being the son of the ceo, outwardly sounds like the opportunity only the archons could bestow.  childe would have thought the same too.  

until he realized that predestination sucks, and that zhongli is too good to wither his youth away behind a desk.  

childe has exactly thirteen hours to come up with a plan.  from the thoughts floating in his head, it can turn out in one of two ways:

one: zhongli is integrated back into society and lives a happier, more animated life than what he currently has. 

two: childe loses his job.

[superfreakerz]

IJR 3

“It’s Just Research”

Rated M for smut.

Summary: AU. After having her smut-filled story criticized for being amateurish, Lucy decides once and for all it’s time to gain some experience in the world of sex. Her best friend, Natsu, agrees to help her with her research. Together, the two explore each other’s bodies, all the while denying their feelings for each other and insisting that they are just doing research.

Read earlier chapters on FF.net

Chapter 3

The Art of Seduction

“And then I told him to leave me alone. I mean seriously, Lu-chan, why are boys so infuriating? It’s like, I love Gajeel and all, but he can seriously get on my nerves!”

“Mhmm.”

“Like, how hard is it to say something nice every once in a while instead of making fun of me?”

“Mhmm.”

“Lu-chan? Are you even listening to me?”

“Mhmm.”

Lucy jumped in her seat as Levy’s hand waved in front of her face. With an apologetic grin, the blonde rubbed the back of her head. 

“Sorry, Levy-chan. What were you saying?” she asked.

Levy arched a brow at her. “Okay, what’s on your mind, Lu-chan? You’ve been zoning out this whole time. You haven’t even taken a sip of your smoothie yet!”

Lucy sighed, dragging her fingertip across the side of her plastic cup. Sure enough, the drink was no longer cold as she had been too busy daydreaming. 

She and Levy had agreed to grab smoothies at their favorite shop after the latter got into an argument with her boyfriend. Grabbing smoothies was their go-to ritual whenever they had to vent about someone, wanted to catch up, or just needed a dose of fruity deliciousness. Needless to say, they were there at least once a week.

“I’ve just been a little distracted lately,” Lucy answered, taking a long sip of her smoothie. Her face scrunched in disgust as the flavors no longer popped and the foam from the now old smoothie was all that came through the straw. 

“Oh yeah, how’s that guy you’ve been seeing?” Levy asked, leaning forward in interest. “By the way, are you ever going to tell me who he is?”

Lucy’s cheeks pinked, her eyes darting away from her curious friend. “Sorry, can’t tell you. It’s confidential information.”

Levy squinted her eyes at the girl, giving her a look the blonde couldn’t read.

Sighing, Levy replied, “Fine. Well how are things going between you guys? You said you would be willing to…” She looked around before leaning closer and whispering, “Have sex again. Did you ever do it?”

Lucy puffed out her cheeks in a pout. “That’s the thing! I talked to him about it and he agreed! But since then, we never brought it up again. Things aren’t awkward between us or anything, but I don’t know how to initiate it. It’s too embarrassing to just ask for it!”

“Well when are you seeing him again?”

“Later tonight. We’re supposed to watch a movie together.”

“That’s easy!”

Lucy tilted her head to the side, her brows raised. “What do you mean?”

Levy grinned. “All you have to do is make him make the first move!”

“How am I supposed to do that?” 

“It’ll be so easy, Lu-chan, I promise. All you have to do is show off your body a little more and maybe run your hand over his bicep. That should do the trick.”

“I don’t think so,” Lucy said skeptically. “He’s a little dense. I don’t think he would pick up on that.”

Levy stared at her for a moment before nodding. “Well in that case, we’ll pull every trick out of the book!”

“Trick?”

Levy gave a mischievous grin, one that was rare to see on her face if you weren’t close with her. “Okay, here’s what you’re going to do…”

Lucy stared at herself in the mirror, a skeptical frown on her face as she glanced over her outfit. Her black pleated skirt was incredibly short, sure to show off her bum with a gust of wind. The red shirt she wore was tight around her body, especially around her chest. Its neckline wasn’t particularly as low as some of the other shirts she owned, but it still showed off a good amount of cleavage. 

Pulling some thigh-high socks out of her dresser, she heaved them on before sliding her feet into some heeled boots. Standing back in front of the mirror, she tousled her hair a bit, just as Levy had instructed her to. 

Lucy wondered if this outfit would be good enough to seduce Natsu with. Her skirt wasn’t the shortest she owned, and she had plenty of other shirts to choose from that showed off her chest more, one pink shirt immediately coming to mind. But according to Levy, she should wear red. Apparently red put people in the mood. She didn’t know where Levy got that information from, but she trusted her enough to go with it. 

Glancing at the clock, Lucy quickly grabbed her purse. Natsu should be barging through her window at any moment, and she needed to make sure she had everything Levy instructed her to bring. She grabbed a lollipop from the Halloween candy she bought and with rosy cheeks, stuffed it into her purse. She hoped it wouldn’t come down to using that. That was just embarrassing. 

A gust of wind washed over Lucy’s back. She didn’t need to turn around to know that it was Natsu breaking in as always. Her heart started to beat faster, electricity jolting through her veins as she readied herself for tonight’s plan. Swallowing thickly, the girl turned to face him with a smile. 

“Hi, Natsu!” she greeted. Levy’s advice played in her head. 

“You should discreetly show off your body.”

Lucy nervously ran a hand through her hair before clasping her hands together at her thighs, causing her arms to squish her breasts together. 

“L-Lets go get dinner!” she exclaimed, hoping that her actions weren’t too transparent.

Natsu didn’t seem to notice the action- or her outfit- at all, which admittedly stung. “Okay! You’re buying!”

Lucy groaned before leading the way out of her apartment. 

They went to a local Italian bistro, which was close enough to Lucy’s apartment that they could walk- which was a good thing since Natsu’s motion sickness would’ve turned them both off. They were quickly led to a table and left with menus. After having a moment to look over the menus, they ordered their food. 

Once it arrived, Lucy looked down at her plate of seafood Alfredo and gulped. It was time for phase two of her plan. 

“Go out to dinner and moan while you eat. It’ll definitely get him in the mood!”

As Natsu practically inhaled his food like a wild beast, Lucy twirled some noodles on her fork before putting it in her mouth. Closing her eyes, she moaned, all the while trying to snuff out any embarrassment she felt. When she opened her eyes, she found Natsu staring at her.

“Is it working?” she wondered, excitement bundling in her stomach. She watched Natsu open his mouth to say something, then close it. 

“What is it?” Lucy asked, hoping she didn’t sound too eager. “Say it.”

“Well okay,” Natsu replied, rubbing the back of his head. Pointing to her food, he asked, “Can I have some?”

Lucy deadpanned. “What?”

“Can I have some?” Natsu repeated, his lips curling into a grin. “You made it sound like it was really good! I wanna try!”

Frustrated, Lucy pulled her plate closer to her with a huff. “Eat your own damn food!”

After dinner, Lucy was starting to feel deflated. Not only did her outfit not catch his attention, but her provocative movements and sultry moans didn’t work either. But she wasn’t done yet! She still had plenty of tricks up her sleeve thanks to Levy! And it was time to put her next plan to action. 

This plan luckily had two parts, so that if the first one failed, she had another one lined up. Reaching into her purse, Lucy pulled out the lollipop she packed earlier. Glancing towards Natsu to make sure he wasn’t watching, she pretended to drop it onto the ground. 

“Wear a short dress or skirt, then drop something. When you go to pick it up, he’ll stare at your butt. That should turn him on!”

The two stopped walking, Natsu arching a brow at the girl. 

“Oops,” Lucy said. “Let me just pick that up real quick!”

Making sure to arch her back as she bent down, she picked up the lollipop. She moved slowly, giving him more time to stare at her bum. Sure that she had it in the bag, she stood back up and turned to face him. 

Natsu stared at her, crossing his arms behind his head. 

Then he gave her a grin. 

“You’re clumsy, Luce!” he exclaimed with a laugh. 

Lucy huffed to herself, glancing at the lollipop. She didn’t want to have to resort to this part of the plan, but desperate times called for desperate measures. 

As the two continued their walk home, Lucy unwrapped the lollipop. 

“If none of that works, lick the lollipop and make it look sexy!”

Lucy slowly dragged her tongue over the lollipop before sucking on it. Releasing it with a pop, she began to twist her tongue over the candy. Seeing as how Natsu’s expression didn’t change, she added in her tactic from earlier. As embarrassing as it was, she moaned while licking the damn lollipop. 

And yet, nothing. 

Natsu’s face was a blank slate. 

When they arrived at Lucy’s apartment, she went straight into the bedroom with a huff. Angrily changing into some short pajama shirts and a loose, spaghetti strap tank top, she met Natsu back in the living room. He was setting up a movie on the couch. 

“What kinda movie do ya wanna watch? It’s your turn to choose,” Natsu said. 

“Horror!” Lucy replied immediately. 

“When you guys watch a movie, make sure it’s a scary one. That way when you’re scared, you can throw your arms around him and get closer to him! And make sure to sit close to him! And keep scooting your butt on him! There’s no way in hell he can resist that!”

Natsu eyed her. “Horror? You never choose horror. You always wanna watch those sappy movies.” 

“It’s called romance,” Lucy replied, sitting next to him on the couch. She made sure to sit so close to him that their thighs were flushed together and her bum was slightly on him. “Now, just choose one already.”

This was Lucy’s last plan, and she’d be damned if she failed. 

As the movie started playing, Lucy squirmed in her seat, pretending that she was trying to get comfortable while rubbing her bum on his thigh. She peeked at Natsu in the corner of her eye to see if it was working, but he was engrossed in the movie. 

When a scary part of the movie popped up, Lucy squealed and latched onto Natsu, squeezing his arm between her breasts. 

And still, nothing. 

That was it. She was all out of tricks. 

Huffing, Lucy pulled her arms off of him. She couldn’t believe that after all that, she couldn’t even get him to look at her. Was she not appealing at all? Was the sex not good enough last time to make him interested? Had he changed his mind since they last talked about it?

With a sigh, Lucy went to move away from him when his arm wrapped around her waist, warm hand gripping her side. She stilled, heat traveling through her body from the simple touch. 

“Hey, Lucy,” Natsu started, his eyes still locked to the TV, “I don’t know if you still wanna do this whole friends with benefits thing, but I would be down to help you do some research right now.”

Lucy blushed, her stomach coiling with excitement. “O-Oh?”

“Yeah. I’ve been wanting to all day, but I didn’t know if you still wanted to or not.”

“I do!” She nearly face-palmed with how desperate she sounded.

Natsu finally turned to face her. It was then that Lucy saw the lust that glinted in his dark orbs. 

Lucy’s heart leapt up into her throat as Natsu scooted closer to her, his face just centimeters away from hers. She watched as his eyes began to droop closed. He cupped the back of her head, slowly bringing her close. 

A knot grew in her stomach as Natsu’s lips grazed hers. Her body felt like it was being sent over the edge, every sense heightened. 

As Natsu deepened the kiss, Lucy wasted no time in repositioning herself on his lap. Thanks to the thin, silk shorts she was wearing, it wasn’t hard to feel the bulge beneath her. Her body moved on its own, hips grinding to create glorious friction. He gripped her hips while tugging on her lower lip with his teeth. A soft growl resonated in his throat. 

“Let’s take this to your bed,” he whispered. 

Lucy ignored him, sinking her lips over his neck as he carried her towards the bedroom. He plopped her on the bed before tearing his clothes off. She went to take off her tank top when his hand grabbed hers. 

“I wanna do it,” he said with an eager grin. 

Lucy nodded. “Alright just hurry.”

Natsu chuckled. “Someone’s a little impatient, huh?”

“Natsu, if you don’t put your hands on me in the next second, I’m going to-!”

Before she could even finish her threat, Natsu tore her tank top off in a flash. 

“There, happy now?” he asked with a smirk.

Lucy snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. “Very. Now let’s do this thing already.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice!”

He caged her beneath him, washing his lips over her neck. His hand slid over her breast, kneading the flesh. He teased her nipple, having learned last time that the nubs were sensitive. 

Lucy arched her back into his touch. She could feel the knot in her stomach grow as each second passed. 

He lowered himself onto her, his hot shaft sliding between her folds. As he pushed himself inside, she wrapped her legs around her torso and brought him in deeper. 

Natsu let out a shaky breath. He clenched tightly onto the bed sheets, trying to rein in his body's urges. He moved slowly at first to warm up, moving around in circles. As he tried to pull out, her walls clung tightly to his shaft, tugging on the sensitive skin. 

Lucy’s breath picked up as he started to go pound into her. Gripping his biceps, she tried to keep herself in place as he thrusted harder and harder. Her stomach coiled, the pleasure building up. She could feel herself nearing climax. 

“N-Natsu,” she breathed out, weakly tapping his arm. 

He pulled his head back to look at her but kept pushing inside of her. “What? Does it not feel good?”

“It’s not that, it f-feels amazing.” A moan slipped past her lips as he hit a particularly sensitive spot. “I-It’s just that I want to try something new.”

Natsu slowed his movements, moving in slow circles. Lucy gnawed on her lower lip. She didn’t know that moving slowly was just as good as moving fast. 

“I-I want to be on top,” she said, her voice breathy. 

Natsu finally stopped, which Lucy was part thankful and part disappointed for. 

“Okay,” he replied, getting off of her. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he eagerly laid on the bed, watching Lucy position herself on top of him. 

Lucy inhaled sharply as his shaft sank deep inside of her as she lowered herself over him. Once it was as deep as she could get it, she slowly rocked herself back and forth. 

Natsu groaned, his hands gripping her thighs. It was hard to keep his eyes open while the pleasure began to skyrocket, but he just had to get a good look at Lucy. Her hair was messy, her eyes squeezed shut. Her head hung back as she grinded against him, her mouth hanging open. He moved his eyes down to her breasts. They bounced with each rock against him. 

One thing he knew for sure, he loved watching Lucy ride him. 

Meanwhile, Lucy was in pure ecstasy. This new position allowed his cock to reach deeper than before. Moving her body in a circular motion, she could feel herself edging closer to climax. Wanting to experiment on herself a bit, she brought her hands up to her breasts and began to message herself. 

Natsu’s gut coiled as he watched Lucy fondle herself. Unable to help himself, he moved his hands onto her hips and moved her roughly over him. A breathy moan escaped Lucy’s lips and before she knew it, she was shaking with pleasure, his name slipping out of her mouth. Seeing her finish while riding him was enough for Natsu to break. He moaned, clenching onto her silky hips while pleasure shot out of him. When they could no longer move, Lucy collapsed beside him in pants. 

“Oh wow,” she breathed out. “That was even better than last time.”

Natsu nodded, still trying to catch his breath. As he laid there, he wondered how he got so lucky to be able to be the only person to see Lucy this way. To see her face flushed with heat, sweat glistening on her body. To hear her scream his name. He must’ve done something right in his past life to be able to have earned this privilege.

“Alright, I’m going to go take a shower now,” Lucy said, bringing him out of his thoughts and walking towards the bathroom. 

“Oh, I’ll join you.” 

The girl stopped in her tracks, whirling around to face him. “Umm, what?”

Natsu shrugged, giving her a look as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “What?”

Lucy blushed madly. “Y-You can’t shower with me, idiot!”

“Luce, hate to break it to ya, but what we just did together is a hell of a lot more intimate than taking a shower.”

“No it isn’t!”

Natsu rolled his eyes. “Fine, then I’ll take one after you. I don’t wanna walk home like this.” 

Lucy nodded. “That’s fine. I’ll make it quick.”

He plopped on the bed. “Uh-huh, sure you will.” He frowned when he heard the door click behind her. If that wasn’t enough to remind him that she didn’t feel the same as him, he didn’t know what was. 

After Lucy’s shower- which was quite long despite her promise of keeping it quick- he headed in right after her. The water pelted his back as he thought long and hard about the situation he was in. On the one hand, it was great to be able to have sex with Lucy. Glorious. On the other, it only made his feelings for her stronger. He wasn’t sure how he would hold up when she eventually decided to end things. Would he truly be able to bounce back? Would he go back to playing the role of best friend? 

He was always there to listen to her vent after her failed dates. He was there for her whenever she had crushes on other boys. He listened and waited, hoping that one day she would look at him in such light. Now was his only chance to change her perception of him. He didn’t want to just be her friend anymore. He wanted to be the one to take her on dates. He wanted to be the one that she gushed about to her friends. He wanted all of her. 

After finishing his shower, Natsu turned off the faucet and quickly dried off. Having spent many nights at Lucy’s apartment, the boy already had spare clothes to change into. Heading back to the bedroom, he found Lucy laying in bed, scrolling on her phone. He jumped into bed beside her. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked, giving him a pointed stare. 

Natsu gave her a cheeky grin. “Eh, walking home now would be a pain in the ass. C’mon, let me stay here.”

Lucy rolled her eyes but didn’t protest, which was usually how that conversation went. Once Natsu decided he was sleeping over, there was no changing his mind. Besides, she liked the company. 

“Whatcha watching?” Natsu asked, scooting closer to the phone. 

Lucy lifted her head and rested it on his arm. She knew it might’ve been perceived as intimate by others, but this was just how she and Natsu were. 

“Just a new dance trend going around.”

He laughed. “You should do that!”

“Why? So you can make fun of me?”

“Yep!”

She nudged him before playing the next video. Over time, her eyes grew heavy. She placed her phone on the nightstand and turned towards him, her head still resting on his arm. 

“I’m going to bed now,” Lucy said with a yawn. 

Natsu brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. “Alright. Night, Lucy.”

“Goodnight, Natsu.”

And together they slept in their usual position, more than friends but less than lovers.

[redgillan]

Under Pastel Skies - 7

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 6,480

Warnings: none

A/N: This is long overdue, sorry - hopefully it’s worth it. It’s also incredibly long... idek anymore. I want to thank you all for your patience and support. It means a lot to me.

Wannabe sugar daddies, don’t interact with this post.

You grumbled into your pillow when you heard your phone buzz on the bedside table. Cracking one eye open, you lifted your phone and squinted to read the neon numbers showing on the screen.

7:12 a.m.

You had an email notification, nothing important, but it somehow managed to come through the ‘Do Not Disturb’ feature. You knew you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep so you got up and padded barefoot into the kitchen.  

A smile curled up your lips when you saw the leftovers from your made-up holiday. There were a few cookies and muffins in a plate, a large bowl of cereals, and two dirty milkshake glasses on the counter.

It had been a fun and relaxing couple of days. You ate, talked, played board games, and watched movies in your fanciest loungewear attire. Bucky sought your touch more than usual and it left you a little confused. Every time he touched you, the line between feelings of friendship and feelings of love became blurred.

Bucky was an early riser, always up before you, dressed in his usual khakis and long sleeved Henley shirts with his hair slightly tousled. He looked effortlessly sexy and always had a warm smile for you even though you looked like a hot mess in your mismatched pyjamas, staggering into the kitchen, blindly following the smell of food cooking on the stove.

Today, the kitchen was silent. Bucky was probably still asleep, so you decided to cook breakfast. Maybe, if you were lucky, you’d catch him in his night clothes.

Wasting no time, you made a beeline for the coffee machine. You filled the water tank and measured fresh grounds into the filter, but your task was interrupted when you heard groans coming from somewhere nearby. You soon figured out that the sounds were coming from the living room.

Curious, you silently made your way toward the sound. The shades were up, and you could see the midnight blue sky fading into pastel hues of yellow and pink with the approaching dawn. Under any other circumstances, you would have been completely enraptured by its beauty, but something else caught your attention.

Bucky was standing upside down with his head on a yoga mat. His eyes were closed and his features were set in an expression of serious concentration. You half hid behind the wall and observed him.

You were impressed, his headstand was perfectly vertical and he was doing it without hand support, meaning that he was supporting his entire weight on his neck. He slowly lowered one toe back down, then the other, before he rested his forearm on the mat and lifted his butt toward the ceiling, his body forming a perfect inverted V.

“You’re up already,” he asked, sitting back on his haunches. “I can hear you breathing behind that wall.”

Busted...

You peeked out into the living room and cringed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you but that was sooo impressive.” You walked into the room and perched yourself on the arm of the sofa, facing Bucky who was kneeling at your feet. “How do you do that?”

He chuckled, his cheeks red from exertion and bashfulness. “Practice. Yoga’s good for building strength.”

He looked up at you with a boyish smile, his hair damp with perspiration. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead, rolling too close to his eyes and making him squint.

His pants left little to the imagination, the fabric stretched across his powerful thighs, and his sleeveless shirt clung to his drenched chest, outlining his muscles. Your eyes darted to his left shoulder where his stump was visible.

Despite living with him for over two months, you had never seen him in one of those sleeveless shirts before, though you couldn’t blame him since it was the middle of winter and you hadn’t been wearing any either. It was warm inside the apartment but not enough to walk around bare-armed.

“It’s easier to do yoga when the sleeve isn’t slapping me in the face every five seconds,” Bucky said, looking at his stump. “But I can cover it up if you prefer.”

“No! Of course not,” you rushed to say. “I’m sorry. That was really rude.”

“You were just looking, it’s only natural,” he said. “People are curious. Staring... well, staring is different.” His frown smoothed away and he turned to you with a smile. “Are you hungry?”

You smiled down at him. “Starving.”

“I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick, then I’ll start breakfast.”

“Actually, I was about to start cooking before I got distracted.” Bucky looked away, a slight blush covering his cheeks. “But I think we have plenty of food left over from last night.”

“We’re not eating cookies for breakfast,” he said. “We’ll save them for later. Right now we need something healthy.” He grinned as he pushed himself to his feet and ran upstairs. “I’ll be right back.”

You shook your head at his antics and returned to the kitchen to finish making coffee. After all he’d done for you, it was the least you could do. You knew Bucky liked cooking –and he was damn good at it- but sometimes you wondered if this was a fair arrangement.

He had given you a place to stay, money, food to eat, your own artist’s studio, and you had given him... nothing. Admittedly, you knew that your presence calmed him, comforted him. You gave him the emotional support he desperately needed and it was important, but he could also have adopted a pet.

Too tired for coffee or tea, you poured yourself a glass of orange juice, hoping it would wake you up. It worked but your self-deprecating thoughts were still playing havoc in your mind.

You were fixing Bucky’s coffee when he came back downstairs after his shower, and you were pleasantly surprised to find him wearing a clean sleeveless shirt. You met his eyes and found that he was watching you intently. You offered him a smile and leaned back against the kitchen counter.

“Looking good, James.”

He looked down at his feet with a bashful smile as he crossed the room slowly. You observed him in silence while he prepared breakfast for the two of you. It was a simple breakfast bowl with yogurt, granola, fresh fruits and honey but he somehow made it look like a gourmet dish.

“There you go, angel,” he said, setting your bowl in front of you. “What are you going to do today?”

You took a slice of kiwi and dipped in yogurt. “I think I’m going to paint. You?”

Bucky licked his spoon and you stared at it longingly before you quickly averted your eyes. No, you couldn’t be jealous of a goddamn spoon. Catch yourself on.

“I have an idea for a new book,” he said, running his tongue along his teeth to clean them before he spoke again. “I had a meeting with my agent last week. It went well, my old publisher really wants to work with me again. I’m signing my contract this afternoon.”

“Bucky!” you squealed after swallowing your mouthful of yogurt a little too fast. “That’s amazing!”

“Thank you,” he said, staring into nothing with wide eyes. “I’m nervous, scared and excited at the same time. It’s strange, y’know, all these feelings mixed together. It’s a bit overwhelming and I haven’t even started yet.”

“Don’t think too much,” you said. “You’ve done this before, you can do it again.”

“Yeah,” he replied, smiling.

You scraped your spoon around the bowl and licked it clean. “What’s it about? Is it a novel? Can I be in it?”

Bucky chuckled to himself and you figured that every single writer had friends who begged them to appear in their books. You couldn’t help it, the idea of living forever as ink on a page was too tempting.

“It’s not a novel,” he said. “It’s the third instalment of my series. The style is a little hard to explain but this is what I like to say: self-help book meets Bridget Jones’ Diary.”

“I tried to look you up but I couldn’t find anything written by a James Barnes or a Bucky Barnes.” You playfully narrowed your eyes at him. “Are you a fraud? Or are you using a pen name?”

He pretended to think about it. “I’m a fraud.”

“I knew it,” you mock-sighed.

Bucky took your bowl and placed it in the sink along with his. When he started cleaning them, you joined him and took a dish towel.

“I’ll tell you soon,” he spoke after a moment.

“It’s okay, take your time.”

You knew he wasn’t going to tell you what his pen name was, not now at least. His books were a reflection of his struggles, his success, and his fears, and you could understand why he preferred to keep you in the dark for now.

The people who read his books didn’t know him, they were just anonymous faces in a crowd but you were real. You were his friend, his new friend, and your opinion mattered.

“It’s been a couple of years since I’ve published my last book. My agent said that people haven’t forgotten about me but I still have to,” he made air quotes with his fingers, “’show my face’, just to remind everyone that I’m still writing.” He sighed.

“There’s a charity event next month at the museum of Natural History,” he continued. “It’s a huge event, a lot of important people will be there, including some of the most famous gallerists and curators in the country. You’re allowed to say no but,” he paused and turned to look at you, “do you want to come with me?”

You pressed your lips together while you mulled this over. There was no doubt in your mind that it was a great opportunity, one that you would have never had without Bucky, and you knew you had to say yes. But this was your least favourite part of being an artist.

You didn’t know how to sell yourself and you always felt like an arrogant asshat when you spoke about your paintings, even though you had every right to be proud of your work.

You had managed to persuade yourself that this new life would last forever. Eat, laugh, paint, repeat forever. But it wasn’t real. You had to put yourself out there, even if it made you uncomfortable because painting was only half your job.

Something else bothered you. You didn’t want to be the poor, struggling artist who took advantage of a charity event to make herself known. It seemed wrong and hypocritical.

You voiced your concerns to Bucky who looked at you with a pained expression.

“Yes, it’s a fundraiser but I can assure you that everyone at the party will be talking business and exchanging business cards,” he said. “And they’ll compensate with a huge donation to clear their guilty conscience. Is it false philanthropy? Absolutely, and I’m ashamed to say I’m one of them. You’re not taking advantage of a good cause, we are.”

“You’re nothing like them,” you said. “You’re kind and selfless, you’re a good person.”

“I’m not sure that’s true, angel,” he said with a tight smile.

When you opened your mouth to protest, he leaned forward and cupped the back of your head as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, ending the conversation. He had never done that before and you froze, feeling equal parts confused, incredulous and appreciated.

He pulled back and wiped down the sink with the sponge, acting like kissing you so sweetly was something completely normal, like he was unbothered. Meanwhile you just stood there wondering if you would ever be able to breathe normally again.

You pressed your lips together hard and tried to gather your thoughts but your mind was reeling. You were about to leave the room when your eyes landed on a pile of mail on the kitchen counter.

The first letter was a cheesy view of the Tower Bridge, the words ‘Greetings from London’ written in bold cursive letters across the postcard.

You only knew one person who still sent postcards.

Wanda.

“What’s this?” you asked, nodding toward the stack of mail.

Confused, Bucky looked to you then followed your line of sight and saw the mail. “Oh, Natasha dropped these off last night. She wanted to see you but you were already asleep.”

You nodded distractedly while you picked up the postcard. The sight of it filled you with anxiety. Your sister didn’t’ send these postcards often, but every time you received one it reminded you that things were different now. Gone was the happy and supportive family you used to cherish.  

Your breath caught in your throat as you read Wanda’s hastily written words.

I’m coming home.

She was coming home. A wave of nausea ran through you and your breathing came shallow and fast.

“Wow, wow, wow.” You felt Bucky’s hand at our waist, steering you toward a chair, and you realized your legs were giving way under you. “Deep breaths, angel. Look at me. There you go!”

“Sorry,” you said. “See what happens when you don’t let me eat cookies for breakfast?”

Bucky smiled at your poor attempt at humour. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

You debated telling him but you weren’t sure how to voice your concerns so you handed him the postcard instead. You had told Bucky about Wanda. She had disappeared after Pietro’s death, sending postcards from time to time as proof that she was still alive and well.

“Your sister is coming home.”

“Yeah,” you sighed. “I haven’t seen her for six years. She doesn’t know our mom has Alzheimer, she doesn’t know I sold our old childhood home. She keeps sending those postcards there. I gave the new owners Natasha’s address in case they still receive our mail. They’re very nice.” You let out a humourless laugh. “I had absolutely no idea what I was doing when I sold our house, and they could have taken advantage of me but they didn’t. I guess it’s not every day you buy a family house from a 24 year old girl. It probably screams tragic backstory, uh?”

“You did this on your own?”

“Yup.”

Bucky put his hand on your knee and gave you a comforting squeeze. “I’m sorry you had to go through this.”

You looked down at his thumb rubbing soothing circles just above your knee. “Yeah, it wasn’t easy.” You paused, then raised your head to look at him. “Living with you makes my life so much easier. I live in my own little bubble where I don’t have to be an adult. I feel like I can finally breathe. And I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me and all you continue to do.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he replied, shaking his head. “We help each other. We’re good together.”

“Yes, of course,” you said with a smile. “But we both know it’ll have to end one day. It has to, one way or another. I want to be more independent, start my career and support my family. I don’t want to rely on others anymore. I want to rely on myself.”

“But there’s no rush, angel.”

“I know, but nothing’s gonna change if I stay in my little bubble. I have to do things that make me uncomfortable.”

“What are you trying to say exactly?”

“I’ll come with you to the fundraiser.”

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up in surprise but a smile broke across his face. “That’s great! But what about your sister?”

You shrugged. “There’s nothing I can do. She’ll probably go to our old house, realize it’s not ours anymore. If she’s lucky they’ll give her Natasha’s address. I’m sure she’ll have lots of questions but she can’t show up six years later and act like our bond is still intact. I’m not at her beck and call. I’m only responsible for myself and, Bucky, I’m so tired of trying to please everyone. I deserve to live my best life, goddammit.”

“I am so happy to hear you say that,” Bucky said, his smile blinding. “Celebratory cookie?”

“Yes! Two cookies, please,” you replied, out of breath. “I’m slightly freaking out.”

You spent the next couple of weeks planning for the event; painting, taking pictures of your work, posting them on Instagram, searching for gallerists and curators you wanted to work with and cross-checking the attendees.

Despite everything, you couldn’t help but wonder if Wanda was already in New York and if she was looking for you.

“Check this out!” you exclaimed, shoving a business card in Natasha’s face before you pushed past her to get into her apartment. “It’s official, I’m an artist.”

She laughed as she closed the door, her eyes on the card. “Hi, it’s nice to see you, too,” she deadpanned.

“Sorry, hi.”

“Well, looks like you’re all set. When’s the party?”

“Next week,” you replied, taking a seat on you former bed, her sofa. “I’m a little nervous, but also excited. I don’t know, it’s a strange feeling.”

Natasha pinned your business card onto the fridge using a magnet before she opened the refrigerator door and retrieved a bottle of orange juice. She took two glasses from the cupboard and joined you on the sofa.

“But, yeah, I’m ready. I have over two hundred business cards, I know who I want to work with, and I even bought an external battery pack just in case.”

“And what are you going to wear?” Natasha asked before taking a sip of orange juice. You looked at her with wide eyes, panic written all over your face. “You forgot to buy a dress,” she concluded out loud. “Why am I not surprised?”

“With everything going on, I completely forgot I had to... wear clothes.”

“I’m sure James wouldn’t mind seeing you in your birthday suit.” She laughed when you practically shoved her off the sofa. “Come on, I’ll help you look semi-decent.”

You groaned. “I don’t want to go shopping right now. Plus, I blew all my money on business cards.”

“Are you kidding me? It’s freezing outside, I’m not leaving my apartment,” she replied, reaching for her laptop. “You’re going to rent it.”

“Ew,” you made a face.

You remembered the formal wear store where you had rented your prom dress. The place smelled like moth balls and sweat, and the dress had given you a rash. Not a great memory.

“Trust me, I know this is your first but I’m a seasoned veteran. I’ve been to dozens of fundraisers, and I had to wear dozens of designer dresses. Do you even know how much a Saint Laurent evening gown cost? You can’t wear the same dress twice. That’s a big no-no. And it’s not just the dress. You need a clutch, a pair of shoes, jewelry, a coat. You have to rent them.”

“You’re giving me a headache.”

She opened up her web browser and typed in the website address for the dress rental. As she entered your size and budget, it was obvious that she knew her way around the website and you had to admit that it was a lot easier than traditional shopping.

You looked at the collection of dresses, not entirely convinced, when you found it. You instantly knew it was the right one.

You stared longingly at the beautiful wine-red dress, made entirely of velvet. The bodice was cut on the bias, the fabric draping itself elegantly to contour the shape of the model’s upper body. The skirt was long and flowing, and the waist was cinched in with a thin black belt.

You clicked on the second picture and Natasha let out a strangled gasp. The open back was draped at the waist and weighted with a crystal on a golden chain.

The dress gave off 1930s vibes, it was elegant and refined but the back was daring and sexy. It was exactly what you needed. You paired it with a black wool cape, and Natasha offered to let you borrow a pair of shoes, jewellery and a bag.

The dress and coat arrived the next day. The woman who delivered them was kind and polite, she stayed in the kitchen while you tried on the dress. Once you gave the all-clear, she handed you your receipt.

The dress was yours for an entire week.

On the day of the gala, you were a nervous, sweaty mess. Natasha’s clutch was on your nightstand, filled to the brim with business cards. Your hair and makeup were already done. You sat on your bed in your underwear, staring at the dress hanging in your closet.

“I can do this,” you whispered to yourself.

You were adjusting the fabric around your cleavage, making sure everything flowed nicely, when you heard Bucky shouting from the kitchen.

“The car will be there in fifteen minutes.”

You took a deep breath and smoothed your hands down the sides of your dress, the tickling caress of the velvet calming you almost instantly. You reached for the handle, your heart hammering in your chest, and opened the door.

Bucky was standing at the kitchen island, looking down at his phone. He looked up when he heard the sound of your door opening.

“Hey, are you-” The rest of his sentence died on his lips as he froze. He stood there, staring at you, his eyes roaming your body in a manner that could only be called amazement. “You look-” He shook his head as if he couldn’t find the right word.

You looked down at yourself, grinning. After weeks of seeing you in your big woolly jumpers, pyjamas and painting overalls, you could understand why this was a shock. It was one to you as well.

“You look beautiful,” he said, his voice sounding strangled.

“Thank you.” He stood a little straighter when he noticed you were checking him out. He wore a dark blue suit with black lapels, a white shirt and a black velvet bow tie. You matched. “You look like a real heartthrob in that suit.”

He laughed and looked away, embarrassed. It was your favourite look on him; when he couldn’t maintain eye contact and his cheeks were slightly red and his nose crunched up a little.

“You’re wearing your prosthetic,” you said, noticing the stiff arm and fake hand.

“Yeah,” he replied, looking at his left arm. “This thing itches like hell, but I don’t blend well in a crowd when I’m not wearing my prosthetic. These people know me, they’ll be looking for me. Let’s not make it too easy for them.”

He finished his sentence with a wink and your entire body threatened to spontaneously combust. Do people still wink? Apparently. You walked over to him and briefly stroked his arm before you walked past him to the bathroom.

It gave him a great view of your bare back and the little crystal nestled just above the small of your back. You didn’t see his reaction but you heard his sharp intake of breath.

You left the bathroom door open while you rummaged through your makeup bag, relief flowing through you when your fingers brushed against your favourite lipstick.

You straightened up and looked at yourself in the mirror. Bucky was leaning against the bathroom door frame, observing you. You uncapped the lipstick and brought it to your lips, locking eyes with him in the mirror.

“Don’t worry, I’m almost ready.”

“I’m not worried,” Bucky replied with a mischievous smile. “Please, carry on.”

You rolled your eyes at his sudden smug expression, trying to look unbothered, but you could feel his eyes on you and you willed your hands to stop shaking. Today was not the day to look like Miranda Sings.

“What’s it called?” Bucky asked from the threshold, spellbound.

“No idea, the label has faded,” you said, rubbing your lips together to smudge your lipstick. “It has probably expired by now, my mom gave it to me when I was a kid.” You blotted your lips and tossed the balled tissue into the wastebasket. “She called it ‘Carter Red’.”

You dabbed the lipstick on your lips. “When we were kids, we used to watch her apply her lipstick. We thought she was the most sophisticated woman in the world. When she was done, she’d turn to us and ask ‘Who wants red lips?’ Then we’d leave the house in our matching red lips.”

Bucky entered the bathroom and took a seat on the edge of the tub. “Did your brothers wear red lipstick too?” he asked with a grin.

You laughed. “Pietro did. Scott was more into nail polish.”  

“Do you think I can pull it off?”

You turned to him with a wicked grin and waved your lipstick in his direction. He stood when you took a step closer to him. He seemed to enjoy the playful glint dancing in your eyes. You beckoned him closer like some kind of old witch.

“I’m sure you’d look real cute with lipstick all over your face,” you said, taunting him with your tube of lipstick.

Something in his expression changed, darkened, making you feel hot and cold at the same time. His eyes travelled down your face to your lips, then back up to your eyes. “Yeah, I’d really like that,” he spoke so softly you almost missed it.

It was your turn to freeze. You parted your lips to speak but nothing came out, you just blinked hard and stared at him incredulously, waiting for him to explain what that meant. But he never did, and you took a step back.

Did he just...? Did he just try to kiss you? No! No, that’s silly. Why would he want to kiss you? He was just being playful and you simply projected your own desires onto him.

He took a step back too and gave an imperceptible nod. “The car should be here any minute,” he said, smiling. It was a tight smile and you didn’t like it at all. “I’ll let you get ready.”

After he closed the door behind him, you dumped your lipstick back into your makeup bag and took a long look at yourself in the mirror. You looked deflated, miserable. You sighed... the night was off to a great start.

Bucky waited for you while you finished getting ready. You picked up your clutch, slid your feet into a pair of high-heel shoes, and struggled with your cape until Bucky came to your rescue. To your surprise, his smile was genuine again, and it made your heart soar. Maybe you had just misread the situation and he wasn’t upset, offended –or whatever that tight smile was.

The heels were higher than you were used to, but Bucky gave you an arm to hang onto. The sky was already dark when you arrived at the Museum of Natural History. You walked up the stairs and left your coats in the coat-check room before you took a look around the room.

Hundreds of people were milling around the hall, a glass in their hand as they weaved between the jaw-dropping dinosaur skeletons that were on display. You kept your arm linked through Bucky’s and tried not to stare at anyone.  

“Be careful,” Bucky whispered in your ear, making you perk up. “Someone once told me that the exhibits come to life after the sun sets.”

“Remind me to stay away from the Biodiversity Hall,” you chuckled. Then you spotted one of the curators you wanted to work with, you let go of Bucky’s arm and squared your shoulders. “Showtime. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck, angel.”

“God, I’m sweating. Is it noticeable?”

Bucky smiled at you. “No, you look perfect.”

You gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks. I hope I won’t make a fool of myself. I hate small talk.”

As soon as you were gone, someone took your place by Bucky’s side. You grabbed a flute of champagne from a passing waiter and made your way over to the curator. You didn’t drink alcohol but the glass made you look like you were part of their little group.

It went horribly wrong; you stuttered when you said your name and everything went downhill after that. While you were talking, he subtly looked around to see if he could find a more interesting person to talk to, which made you stutter even more. Then as you opened your clutch and fished out a card, several others fell at your feet in slow motion.

Between the dress, the glass and the shoes, it was practically impossible to bend over. The curator left and you stood there alone.

“Let me help you,” one of the waiters said. He gathered up your business cards and handed them to you.

You sheepishly took the cards and shoved them back in your purse. “Thanks. Can you take this? I’m not going to drink it.”

“Would you like something else to drink?” he asked as he took your glass of champagne.

“No, thank you. I... I think I’m going to go find my friend.”

You smiled politely at the young man but he had a strange look on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something but hesitated.

“I saw you with Mr. Thomas,” he finally said. “I’m not supposed to talk to the guests but can you tell him I love his work.”

“I’m sorry I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Grant Thomas,” the waiter pressed on. “The writer. I saw you two together.” Then he leaned forward and whispered, “He only has one arm.”

Oh...

Grant Thomas was Bucky’s pen name.  

Your face broke out into a huge smile and you started giggling to yourself. The waiter recoiled a bit, confused and a little freaked out. You scanned the room for Bucky.

“Of course, I’ll tell him,” you told the waiter. “He’ll be very pleased to hear it.”

You went in search of Bucky, wobbling around in your high heels, a permanent smile on your face. After walking around for a few minutes, you felt more stable and in control, even going so far as to power walk from room to room.

You found him in the Hall of Ocean Life, entertaining a small group of people. You walked over to him, your heels clicking like typewriter keys. You heard bits and pieces of their conversation as you approached.

“Oh, it’s absolutely lovely,” a woman cooed, a hand over her heart. “Who was your inspiration for your new book, Grant?”

Bucky’s eyes widened slightly when he saw you. You gave him a small wave and he held out his hand in your direction. He introduced you to the group, and while it was strange to hear him say your name, you kept a straight face.

“I’ve looked everywhere for you, Grant,” you told him, emphasizing his pen name. “I should have known I'd find you in good company.”

“Oh, she’s the painter,” the woman said. “Darling, I hope you don’t mind me saying this but-” she extended her arms in your direction “wow!”

The woman next to her looked half amused, half exasperated. “It means you look beautiful in that dress.”

“Oh, she knows what it means, Sylvia.” The ‘oh’ woman swatted Bucky’s fake arm. “Grant, isn’t she gorgeous?”

Bucky looked at you with a fond smile. “Yes, she is.”

“Oh, my heart is about to explode,” the ‘oh’ woman squealed before enthusiastically waving to someone behind Bucky. “Sylvia, darling, take her contact details. We need new blood at the gallery. Please, excuse me, I haven’t seen Michael in ages,” she said, stretching out the last word.

She was gone before you could comprehend what was happening. Her laughter echoed through the room. Oh, I hadn’t seen the back of that dress! Sweet baby Jesus!

You found her whimsical and quite intense but if you had to work for her, you’d probably end up looking like her assistant, Sylvia, who seemed at her wits’ end.

She sighed and opened her leather-bound notebook. There were several business cards attached to the pages with paperclips. You handed her one of your business cards as her boss shouted, Oh, Michael, isn’t this party deliiightful? It was Sylvia’s cue to leave.

“Thank you. We’ll take a look at your work and get back to you as soon as we can. Enjoy your night.”

Sylvia rushed to her boss who was looking around like a lost puppy. When she saw her assistant, a look of relief crossed her face. It was a little over the top but it made you smile.

“So, Grant Thomas,” you said, planting yourself directly in front of Bucky now that you were alone. “Cute name.”

“Agh, I wanted to tell you before the party but...” He shrugged. “How did you figure it out?”

“One of the waiters saw us together. He’s your biggest fan. Said you were talented, humble and devilishly handsome in that suit.”

“The waiter said that?” Bucky asked with a frown as he led you toward an empty corridor.

“I think he has a crush on you.”

“I seem to have that effect on people,” he said, linking his arm through yours.

“So humble.” You entered the Hall of Biodiversity together. “What’s the meaning behind your pen name?”

There was a small pause before he answered. “Grant is Steve’s middle name, Thomas is Sam’s. I wanted to honor them. Steve literally saved my life, and Sam... well, he stood by my side even when we barely knew each other.”

“I’m sure they were touched.”

“Meh,” Bucky said with a grimace. “Steve said it sounded like a fake name, and Sam tried to make me use ‘Thomas Grant’ instead. I think deep down they like it.” He turned his head to look at you. “How did it go with the curator?”

You cringed. “Just to give you an idea, imagine an amateur magician performing at their first show. I was sweating, I stuttered, and I dropped my cards. It was awful.”

He laughed softly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m not upset. At least he’ll remember me, right?”

You spent the next couple of hours mingling with a bunch of rich people; most of them were incredibly weird, the others were strangely relatable. You were a lot more cool and collected with Bucky by your side. He always had really nice things to say about you or your paintings, and his words rang true, giving you yet another reason to fall for him.

When you reached the planetarium, Bucky took your hand in his, his eyes sparkling with childlike wonder.

You practically had the place to yourselves, everyone else was either in the Grand Gallery or in the Roosevelt Memorial. Since no one was around, you decided to take your shoes off and walk around barefoot.

You lost track of time, listening to Bucky’s stories about the universe as he guided you along the spiralling walkway.  

“We’re just tiny little specks living on a bigger speck, floating around,” he said, gazing up at a model of Jupiter hanging from the ceiling. “Our time here is so limited, our bodies are so fragile.”

“Umm,” you hummed. “At least we’re not at the bottom of the food chain.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, that would be a bummer.”

“Do you know who’s at the bottom of the food chain?” you asked. “French fries. I’m starving.”

His laughter rang out, loud and clear, in the silence of the planetarium. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

You headed for the coat-check room, where Bucky left one of his ridiculously generous tips, and stepped outside, shivering from the cold winter night. You looked up at the stars glistening in the dark sky while you walked the short distance to the fast food restaurant.

You ate your fries in silence as you glanced around the restaurant. It was bright and gave off a friendly vibe. There were several other patrons even though it was almost two in the morning, though you and Bucky were the only ones wearing designer clothes.

Your high heels and clutch rested on the booth next to your hip, and Bucky’s bow tie was tied around your wrist. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone, revealing a tanned, muscular chest and a smattering of dark hair.

Bucky had removed his prosthetic after you’d found a booth. His fake arm rested on the table, scaring the hell out of the waitress when she came to take your order. Bucky apologized profusely, probably mentally adding another twenty to her tip.

You dozed off in the cab, utterly exhausted, your cheek resting against his shoulder. His arm was draped over your shoulders, his thumb sweeping up and down your collarbone. When you remembered that you still had to remove your makeup before going to bed, you let out a whine and nestled closer to him. He rested his head on top of yours, and you closed your eyes, enjoying his closeness.

A few days later, you told Natasha about the party, and she reminded you to be careful, to protect your heart. She wished someone had given her this advice when she’d met Sam.

It had never occurred to you that Natasha might have feelings for Sam, not because he was an awful person. No, it was quite the opposite. He was handsome and funny, always looking for some kind of trouble. She’d mentioned multiple times that he was really good in bed, which honestly didn’t surprise you.

You knew she liked him, but you didn’t know she liked him.

On your way home, you mulled over the things she had told you. About a block away from your apartment, you took your keys out of your pocket and stared at the little angel keychain, wondering if your feelings for Bucky were real. The line between friends and lovers was definitely blurred but you couldn’t cross it. There was too much at stake, you couldn’t risk ruining your friendship.

As you turned the corner into your street, you spotted someone standing outside the building’s front door. You slowed down, dawdled, so you could observe them.

You couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman, though you suspected a man. They were carrying a traveller’s backpack on their shoulders, blocking your view. Whoever it was, they had a fantastic ass.

They pushed the intercom button, waited a few seconds and pushed it again. When the doors remained closed, they turned around to leave and you came face-to-face with a man with long dirty blond hair, a bushy ginger beard and striking baby blue eyes. You immediately recognized him from the photos you’d seen on Bucky’s laptop.

“Oh my God, Steve!” you exclaimed, startling him.

Part 8

[robininthelabyrinth]

If you’re still taking prompts, how about an AU where Wei Wuxian is also one of Jin Guangshan’s illegitimate sons

Wei Wuxian’s life might have been different if his mother had gone onwards to visit the Jiang sect, following a glimpse of that handsome young man she’d met so briefly early on, but in the end she’d decided to go a different way – she ended up in Yunmeng after all, but that young man, a servant, had already gotten another woman to be his wife and Cangse Sanren was nobody’s mistress.

She’d made that clear once already.

The Jiang sect leader’s wife liked her on the spot – “Madame Jin conveys her thanks to you for putting her husband in her place, although regretfully that the doctors say his vital root will eventually recover from your well-placed kicks” – and the sect leader liked her, too; she made him laugh, and he liked the child she’d brought with her, a baby as vivacious as she was.  

She stayed there a few years, until the sect leader stopped merely looking a little too long and started looking at her instead of looking at his wife. That was unacceptable: it was clear that she wouldn’t be able to stay much longer without tearing them apart. Still, she wasn’t one to leave without making an impact: she took both the sect leader and his wife to bed for a tumble that lasted a week, and left while they were still stunned speechless.

Her only regret was how her little A-Ying cried for his shijie and his Jiang Cheng, who he’d grown close to, but she told him that he’d see them again one day and soon enough he found his smile again.

That was her baby boy, forgetting pain once it’d healed - just like her.

She refused to give his name to her precious son, but she was reluctant to give her own, having learned to her sorrow that this world of men was unkind to women and even less kind to the fatherless. In the end, she kept the courtesy name the Jiang sect leader had given him and stolen the surname of the handsome man who’d once offered it to her – she rather liked the idea of stealing someone’s name because of a rashly made promise. 

As she’d expected, it made it easier to pretend she was a widow rather than a silly girl who’d been deceived; an irritating pretense, but a necessary one, in this ridiculous world of men.

And so her A-Ying became Wei Wuxian.

She traveled around, aimless, knowing there was something out there for her to do but not entirely sure what, and it gnawed at her right up until the day her little Wei Wuxian ran over to her, shouting, “A-niang! A-niang! I found a brother!”

She’d assumed he was joking – he often tried to play tricks on her, and she played tricks on him right back – but in fact he wasn’t: little Meng Yao, a few years older than her son, had just enough of the same features to make the blood connection obvious.

Cangse Sanren sighed for the stupidity of her past self – so many good suitors, and she’d just had to pick the worst of the lot, hadn’t she? – and crouched down with a smile. 

“Where do you live?” she asked. “Where’s your mother?”

Meng Yao refused to tell her at first, no matter how many sweets and toys she plied him with. She didn’t want to embarrass him by following him home, so she rented a small house and waited; in the end, Wei Wuxian tried to beat up a passing boy for calling Meng Yao the son of a whore and Meng Yao had only been able to stop him by confessing that it was true.

“Well, that won’t do,” Cangse Sanren said, feeling rather cross about the whole thing. “Come on, lead me to her, or else I’ll go around knocking at every brothel in town asking for a girl surnamed ‘Meng’.”

Meng Shi was pretty as a peony and graceful as an orchid, and upon meeting her for the first time Cangse Sanren, who was quite used to beauties, blurted out, “He’s not only a dog but a fool.”

Sadly, Meng Shi preferred men, disappointing previous experiences or no, but she was nevertheless amenable to Cangse Sanren’s proposal of living together – night-hunting being more than profitable enough to buy Meng Shi’s life contract from the brothel within a few months – if it meant that Meng Yao would have the chance to learn to cultivate at the foot of a proper master.

In that way, Cangse Sanren got herself a friend and Wei Wuxian a brother, and felt quite pleased with it.

“We don’t need him,” she declared, full of wine and good company, arm around Meng Shi’s shoulders as the other woman rolled her eyes at her. “A-Yao, forget everything you’ve ever heard about him – he’s a waste of space, a wretch, a dog! Like a purebred horse, he’s fit only for breeding, which means your mother and I got the best part of him already.”

Meng Yao covered his eyes and groaned dramatically, and then went back to arguing with Wei Wuxian as to which one of them deserved to be called gege; Meng Yao took the position that he was older, with Wei Wuxian arguing that he’d become a disciple first.

Not that two small children who were also brothers made for much of a sect.

The thought caught something in Cangse Sanren’s brain, and the next morning she grinned at Meng Shi and said, full of mischief, “I wonder how many others there are out there.”

“No,” Meng Shi said firmly. “Night-hunting alone is dangerous enough, and barely enough to pay for our expenses –”

“It’d stretch a bit further if Mistress Meng were a little less accustomed to silk!”

“– and anyway who even knows how many there might be?”

“There can’t be that many,” Cangse Sanren said. “For all that he’s a scum, he’s also lazy – look at both our boys trying to get up in the morning –”

“Your boy can’t get up in the morning,” Meng Shi said. “Mine likes to have some time to himself. There’s a difference. Also, you can’t blame everything you dislike on him when it’s obviously a trait inherited from you.”

“Can’t I? I think I can. Anyway, as I was saying, he’s lazy: he stayed with me nearly two years and would have stayed longer if I hadn’t cottoned onto him, and you nearly four; and of course he doesn’t have any at home for fear of his wife…no, I’m telling you, a dozen at most.”

“You’re only counting the women he supported,” Meng Shi pointed out. “What about the ones that only happened once, or the married wives?”

Cangse Sanren dismissed these issues with a wave of her hand. “Let’s start with the ones like us. There’s got to be some other young would-be cultivators out there.”

There were, although little Mo Xuanyu, their next find, had been so terrified and tormented by all his relatives until he’d had the personality of a bowl of quivering steamed pudding – he wouldn’t make for much of a cultivator, Cangse Sanren divined at once, but even Meng Shi had to admit that taking him with them was better than leaving him back in the Mo household. 

His own mother had sold him to them for a gold coin, calling him a disappointment as she did, and Cangse Sanren had muttered for the next shichen about some people deserving the scum they hooked up with until Meng Shi started making sad noises just to make her shut up.

Damn that woman was good.

The next few they found were quite happy at home – it seemed that Jin Guangshan threw girls more often than boys, and that girls were able to live quite well on the promise of their children having a cultivator grandfather, so they didn’t need much help – and Cangse Sanren had just given up on bothering to find any more, three children with three very different personalities being rather a lot to deal with on top of night-hunting and keeping Meng Shi in her silks, when the Jiang sect finally caught up with her.

Apparently they’d been looking. Who’d have guessed?

“You had that and turned it down?!” Meng Shi hissed, her eyes full of the (admittedly rather handsome) Jiang Sect leader. “What is wrong with you?”

“Many things, probably,” Cangse Sanren admitted, and under the circumstances let herself be seduced back to Yunmeng with the promise of free housing, childcare, and all expenses paid, plus Wei Wuxian screaming “Shijie! Jiang Cheng!” at the top of his lungs at the first sight of a lotus flower sigil.

They’d stayed first at the Lotus Pier, but in the end got their own house: they’d gotten used to it the past few years, and anyway living with a friend was better than living with a lover - fighting over mundane things like laundry and did-you-remember-to-dust-behind-the-shelf was a lot easier when you didn’t have to think about being sexy at some future date.

Meng Shi never did get the hang of having a real job, teaching music and flirting to all the local children in equal measure, and perhaps most importantly she watched the children whenever Cangse Sanren went out night-hunting along with the Jiangs – along with the other things she did with the two of them while they were temporarily unburdened by the presence of nearly a dozen small, prying eyes.

At first Cangse Sanren was concerned about a repeat of last time, but it turned out Meng Shi was good for that, too; Madame Yu wasn’t as bothered about her husband sharing a bed with the witty, charming, pretty-as-a-flower Meng Shi when it meant she got to have Cangse Sanren to herself in her own.

As life went, it was pretty good, Cangse Sanren was willing to admit, especially when the discussion conference came around and she was finally able to rid Meng Shi of her remaining illusions. It was a good life, a happy life, and it was something she’d forged with her own two hands; she was very pleased about it.

Meng Yao never quite stopped wearing a smiling face that hid daggers, but it was a little easier to forgive his vindictive viciousness once he’d started doing it to defend his younger brothers as well as himself – it was good for him to spend time with Jiang Yanli, whose friendliness and innate goodness routinely caused him to question everything he thought he knew about human nature. 

They played a great deal of chess, which Jiang Yanli routinely lost with a smile, and in return he reminded her that she was still at the age to be adopted, not do the adopting herself – which she sometimes forgot.

Wei Wuxian finally agreed to Meng Yao’s seniority now that he had both Mo Xuanyu and Jiang Cheng to bully and lead around by the nose; he remained as high-spirited and vivacious as he’d ever been, but – and it was probably for the best – his reckless arrogance was tempered by constantly being outsmarted in the first instance by a well-prepared Meng Yao.

Mo Xuanyu, the family baby, spent a great deal of time clinging to Jiang Cheng; no one entirely understood why or how their quiet, shy wallflower had gotten attached to someone so abrasive and easily angered, but somehow Jiang Cheng routinely cursing him as an idiot and a useless good-for-nothing did more to wash away the scars left over from the Mo household than anything else anyone had ever done.

It was – good.

So when the Wens came to tear it all down, well.

None of them were going to put up with that.

[unecoccinellenoire]

Hi! I don’t know if you’re still doing the prompts but could I suggest maybe an au of Freaky Friday where maybe it was Nathalie and Gabriel that swapped please?

Nathalie and Gabriel?

Now that would be a mess. But maybe actually one I can work with so let have a speedrun of that scenario 

Gabriel stared up at his own face, “Why would it be an akuma?”

“I don’t know,” Nathalie hissed back at him, and from the disgruntlement that passed over her face when she spoke she was as thrown at how weird she sounded as him as he was, “but there aren’t exactly many other sources of random magical powers in Paris are there?”

“There’s Ladybug.”

“This doesn't fit in with any of the Miraculous we know about.”

“Well it wasn't an akuma.”

“What was it then?”

“Us!” Duusu trilled suddenly appearing from wherever the Kwami had been.

“Duusu,” Nooroo whimpered from behind his head, and really what was it about Nathalie’s hair that made it a magnet for Kwami’s.

Though his irritation gave way to anger as he realised, “wait, was this you?”

Then a knock at the door froze all of them, “Father? Um, I haven't seen Nathalie this morning so I'm just going to go to school.”

He opened his mouth to talk but Nathalie spoke first calling out to the door, “She's not feeling well. She’ll email you your schedule later.”

……......

“An act of selfless love?” Nathalie said, “Alright. I can work with that, Duusu spread my feathers.”

He couldn’t help but be distracted by the sight of himself blue and pink-eyed, and reached out to his face as if to check it was real. He wasn't sure the hair was a fantastic look but at least, “I'm thankful I'm not in your dress. I don’t think I’d pull it off.”

Nathalie flushed, and looked down, “I hadn’t even really thought. We’ll have to thank Duusu I guess.”

“I think you contributed,” he ran his eye over the tailcoat and slim trousers, “I can see Mayura in it. And your elegance.”

“My,” she blinked, “Thank you sir.”

“So what's your plan then?”

“The same as it's always been.”

“We can't make waste the Wish on fixing this,” and if they were using their original plan then as distracting as the image of Emilie and Nathalie together was, he could hardly just explain to his wife than he and his assistant had switched bodies and expect her to be ok with that, “we need it for Emilie.”

“I know,” Nathalie said, “which is why we get Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous, and then I make the wish to sacrifice myself for Emilie. That should work shouldn’t it? I know it wouldn’t be completely selfless but,”

“What?” The room felt suffocating and hot, and he thought he might faint and he hoped this wasn’t what Nathalie felt like all the time because of damage from the Peacock Miraculous. “That’s, how, what about that wouldn’t be selfless.”

“I wouldn’t be in pain.” Nathalie said, and didn’t seem to realise how her words felt like stab wounds, “and you’d be the one dealing with all the mess afterward; explaining my death, explaining it all to Emilie, explaining it all to Adrien. And I’d know you were happy and I wouldn’t have to,” she stopped herself, “it doesn’t matter. I think it would still work.”

“We’re not doing that. I’m not killing you because our blasted Kwamis have betrayed us.”

“We are forcing them to work against their natures.”

“You really think Duusu has a problem with what we’re doing?” He should have seen Nooroo’s treachery coming but Duusu’s did surprise him.

“No,” she exhaled, “I don’t think that’s where Duusu’s actions are coming from. Duusu has a,” she bit her lip in thought, “different way of looking at the world. I wouldn’t advise asking for my kwami’s reasons. But it doesn’t matter. This doesn’t change anything.”

She looked as if what she meant was obvious when it very much was not. “It does. This was never the plan.”

“I thought you were willing to do anything for her?”

“Not that.” He pressed his fingers to his temples, “Nathalie if I was willing to throw your life away I’d have commanded you to wear that Miraculous from day one. I have never wanted to hurt you, and I can’t lose you too, you’re the only thing that gets me through each day.”

“You wouldn’t be losing me too, you’d have her back.”

“It’s too heavy a price,” Nathalie was, she was his friend and his certainty and he didn’t know how he could look himself in the mirror, could look Emilie in the eyes, if he killed her, “We not doing that.”

“It wouldn’t work anyway,” Nooroo said, “it has to be the elder of you that performs the selfless act of love.”

He’d never seen what horror looked like on his own face, and even blue it was his own face, until that moment.

…......

“I’ve got it,” Gabriel reached forward and pulled the Miraculous off her, “You’re never using this again.”

He waited for this nightmare to be over, but apart from her transformation falling from him-as-Mayura to him-as-himself nothing happened.

It should have worked. He’d put Nathalie ahead of his goals. Ahead of Emilie. Shouldn’t that have solved the whole thing?

“You’re said that before sir,” Nathalie said.

If he wasn’t in her body, and overly aware of how he could damage it, then he’d have punched a wall. Stupid past him screwing it up for all of them. And he’d always known letting Nathalie use that Miraculous was a mistake.

……….

“We’re probably going to have to get dressed at some point,” Nathalie said, looking as if she’d stepped in something distasteful, “you’ve a zoom meeting later. I guess it’s lucky we were swapped with each other, so we can keep the business going.”

Lucky was not what Gabriel would call the situation at all especially when, “I can’t just undress you.”

She was his assistant. It was wrong for him to know what she looked like under her clothes in any more exactness than her measurements. And the longer he was in her body the harder it was going to be not to ever look.

His body must have blushed more today than it ever had before, as Nathalie said, “Maybe just. Don’t shower today.”

“I wasn’t going to,” otherwise he’d actually be touching her and that was wrong wrong wrong, “I will try and respect your privacy Nathalie.”

“I know you would,” she said looking at him with a trust he wasn’t sure he’d earnt, “you dress models all the time, this isn’t any different. OK, I admit I’m not model but I trust you to be professional about this.”

“You’re pretty enough to model,”

She blinked, “I don’t think I can agree but thank you. And, I’ll do my best to give you your privacy too.”

“I never expected otherwise,” Nathalie was always professional, “I know I can trust you.”

“Thank you sir,” she said before a look of sheer horror crossed her face, “oh god, I’m going to have to go to the loo as you.”

He felt a funny warmth in his stomach. “We’ll have to fix this quickly then.”

“Yes,” said Nathalie but she didn’t look any more convinced than before.

………

“I’ve another idea,” he said, and reached up to cup his own face, and tried to ignore how disconcerting the whole situation was he pressed his lips to hers or his depending on how one considered it.

Nathalie pulled away immediately, stumbling a few steps back, “What on earth was that?”

From the look of her she seemed to think he had some weird obsession with himself so he rushed to clarify. “I thought, you know, it worked for the heroes before to break the effects of akumas?”

“Sir,” she was speaking to him very slowly like he was a child, and it sounded more condescending in his own voice, “You’re not in love with me. So that wouldn’t work.”

Her dismissal of him yet again annoyed him. He was going to fix this. And he was going to get Nathalie’s respect back.

…………

“I’m going to Adrien’s fencing match,” Nathalie announced.

“What? Why?”

“I promised him I would. It’s in the schedule.”

“For Nathalie.”

“I cleared yours too sir. You can come with us if you want.”

“I need to work out how to solve this not waste time placating Adrien. You go if you want.”

“I will.”

As he watched Adrien’s joyful smile on seeing what he thought was his father he realised uncomfortably that Adrien hadn’t smiled like that at him in he didn’t know how long.

Perhaps he could spare Adrien some more time.

……….

“I’ve come to a decision,” Gabriel announced.

“Yes?” Nathalie asked with a raised eyebrow, “Have you found a way to fix this sir?”

“What? No. I’m going to invent a better bra. I never realised it but there’s so many issues with current designs, the straps keep falling down, and the underwire is uncomfortable and,”

“Have you somehow got it on wrong? It’s never bothered me.”

“How would I have got it on wrong? I’m not stupid.” Although admittedly Nathalie probably adjusted herself more than Gabriel felt comfortable doing with his assistant’s body.

Nathalie frowned, and he almost mirrored her, he hadn’t realised he always looked this severe. “Maybe you just have a lower discomfort threshold than me sir.”

“That does seem to be the case yes,” because he’s struggling to get through the door past the aches and exhaustion that Nathalie has apparently been lying about not feeling.

…………

“I just don’t know what we’re going to do Nathalie,” he said as he relaxed back against her after she caught him after another coughing fit. He’d always felt utterly insufficient for what he could do for her afterwards and no seeing it he felt almost more so.

“We’ll fix this somehow sir,” she said, “I’m sorry it was me. I know if it had been Adrien or someone else you cared for this would have been much easier.”

He turned around, “What are you talking about? I can’t see how that would be easier at all.”

Because there was an obvious thing he could do to fix this at least and he couldn’t think what would be obvious in Adrien’s case.

Not that he could do the obvious thing so knowing it didn’t really help but….

…………..

Because he can’t pretend the toll this is taking on her isn’t obvious now. Not when he’s the one feeling it.

And the thing is. It’s not all the Peacock Miraculous either. If either of them could break this spell then Nathalie would have already done it a hundred times over.

She’s ready to lay down her life for him. She’s already risked her health and her freedom. This isn’t her job.

This is him being unfair.

And he’s never cared much for fairness. After all. Life isn’t. But it feels different with Nathalie. It rankles. He doesn’t want to be the one hurting her.

……………

“Are you going to send out an akuma sir?” Nathalie asked.

He shook his head, “Not like this.”

……………

He reached out to Emilie’s coffin and tried to ignore how much higher it was.

“I’m sorry Em,” he said, “I think I might be a very selfish man. Can you forgive me?”

Are you alive?

Is this a betrayal?

Or is it just recognising reality?

…………

“Adrien,” he said and his son looks up with worry for whatever Nathalie’s going to say he’s forgotten but there’s affection too, and there’s nothing he can say actually. Not as Nathalie. Not when he knows the opinions on the matter he’s wrongly allowed his son to have. “Don’t worry.”

Though if he does this then it’s not so wrongly.

………..

He still doesn’t like Adrien’s friends but as Nathalie he sees them more often and as he sees how his son changes as he sees how he becomes more like Emilie at her very best he has to revaluate some of the choices they’re made, and whether they’ve been stifling certain talents of Adrien’s.

………..

Nathalie didn’t say anything when he sees him transformed, but her eyes say it all.

“I thought it was quite striking,” he said of the Butterfly wing dress, wrapped around her body he was wearing.

“No,” she said, “it is sir, I’m just not sure it looks very suitable for fighting.”

“It’s not.” He agreed, but I’m not planning to fight. Give me your Miraculous Nathalie. I’m going to akumatise myself again.”

“With both of them?”

“No,” he laughed, “but I’ll want it after and I don’t want to fight you.”

“Sir,” Nathalie asked, “What are you doing?”

“Trust me.”

And she does.

………..

He felt it the moment the spell breaks. True his akumatised form is androgynous compared to his transformation under the Butterfly Miraculous’ powers but he’d known it has changed nonetheless.

And then Ladybug purified his akuma and he could see it has.

“M.Agreste?” Ladybug asked, “How did you get Hawk Moth and Mayura’s Miraculous?”

“I don’t know,” he said giving thanks for the effects of his akumas, “I don’t remember anything.”

Chat Noir was looking at him oddly, “did you fight Hawk Moth?”

“I think,” he said deciding he could afford this much to avoid the embarrassment of apparently losing to himself, “this was what Hawk Moth wanted me to do.”

……….

Nathalie greeted him at the door, “Are you alright?”

“Never better.” He confirmed.

She pulled him in shutting the door behind him, “You gave up.”

“I did.”

“It fixed us.”

“It did.”

“Then,” she still looked shell-shocked, “that means, you gave up for me?”

“It wasn’t entirely selfless,” he said, “I’m rather glad it worked despite that but Nooroo thought it would. But, I’m not sure I’m ready to confront what all of that means. Not while Emilie’s still,”

“I’ll be here when you are,” she said with a grounding clasp of her hand around his arm.

[anika-ann]

What I’d Never Say or Do (Had I Been in My Right Mind) - Pt.1

We Both Break Free (…if We Make It on Top)

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2, part 3)  

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader    Word count (Ch1): 2050

Series summary: A story in which you officially come back from the dead, Tony with Natasha decide to take the blame for the whole mess and organize a party with unexpected party crashers and Bucky should consider thinking before speaking.

Fic title applicable to Tony, Natasha, Steve and his soulmate (aka the Reader), Bucky and his sort-of-buddy Matt Murdock and possibly few more.

Ch.1 summary.: In which Natasha and Tony go mad.

A/N: This series will be just a smaller thing, snippets set around The Age of Ultron (and later, Endgame). Later will be referred to as WINSoD because the title is a monster.

Warnings (ch1): mention of death and resurrection, mention of superntural creatures (see Errare Humanum Est), language, fluff

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Tony Stark was a ridiculously theatrical person.

While that was no news to anyone who knew as much as his name at least, but he still managed to outlive the legend, the reputation that preceded him.

He left you standing by the door, walked in to gain the undivided attention of the person inside the office and wanted you to reveal yourself in the exact right moment – a moment he trusted you to recognize.

Well. You assumed with a revelation like yours, it was rather hard to keep the drama away. But leave it to Tony Stark that he would blow it to proportion just to have fun.

“Tamara, darling!” the billionaire howled, the door opened only for a crack, so you could hear the reaction. You rolled your eyes, sighed and nervously looked around. The department was empty safe for the woman in the office, but it still made you feel uneasy; probably the effect of having to hide for the past weeks to avoid detection that could lead to a major scandal.

“Oh god, what happened?” Tamara asked, sounding as horrified as annoyed.

“Why do you assume— okay, that’s fair. How’s you hubby doing?”

“Alright,” the poor woman answered, clearly suspicious. “I more or less cleaned up the latest mess, so I’ve been coming home early…”

“Yeeeeah, about that. I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?” Tony offered cheerily.

“Bad news. Always. Let me just sit down-- no, no, don’t let me sit down, I have a feeling I’ll wanna pace irritably.”

That caused the corners of your lips to turn up. You were starting to like this woman already.

“I’m gonna need you to deal with a major scandal worthy of your skills.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere and I assumed as much.” Now you officially loved her – and you saw why Tony did too. Sass and snark; Tony’s language. “So, care to elaborate?”

“Nah, I’ll give you the good news. You’re gonna get some help. I brought reinforcements. She doesn’t have much experience with PR-” Try none. “-but I’m pretty sure she’ll be the one all the questions will be aimed at.”

“Oh my god, Anthony, did you get a woman pregnant?!” the woman hissed, not bothering lowering her voice. She sounded… kinda pissed. Which was reasonable, given the fact Tony Stark was happily-not-single with one amazing Pepper Potts.

“What? No! I have Pepper!” he opposed her, having the nerve to be offended. You smirked, hoping Jarvis caught that one line too. “This is all on Capsicle-“

“Captain Rogers got a woman pregnant?! What the-“

You felt like this was the moment.

“No, Mrs…. Tamara,” you said it the end, realizing Tony never told you the poor woman’s last name, and entered the room. “But his soulmate sort of came back from the death.”

Tamara was a middle-aged woman, with blonde medium-length hair and huge majestic glasses, business suit in a bloody-red colour and lips perfectly shaped in an “O” as you demonstrated the problem at hand.

“Holy. Shit.”

Leave it to Tony Stark he would flee the moment an actual explanation was needed, letting the others deal with the aftermath of his dramatic tendencies. To be fair, this was more of your drama, so…

“Good. Looks like introductions are not needed. I’ll send you the necessary data. Have fun.”

He strode through the door, winking over his shoulder at you and sending an air kiss to Tamara and you nervously smiled at the woman, your awkward side showing when you raised your hand to a reluctant wave before you could realize a handshake would be more appropriate.

“Uhm. Hi…”

The blonde blinked several times, shook her head with an incredulous chuckle and stuck out her hand.

“Hi. I’m Tamara, Antony Stark’s cleaning service. What can I do for you?”

Oh yeah. You’d get along just fine.

…

The story was simple and yet enough to make at least two Avengers very much hated.

Tony and Natasha, perhaps from some residual guilt of which you weren’t sure where was coming from, were determined to be thrown to the wolves of public.

Apparently, it had been all their idea – to have Steve and you kidnapped in the first place by the bomb enthusiast psycho. They had caught something fishy, been aware of it for a long time and opted for drawing the something rotten within SHIELD and company out by leaking early info on where you and Steve would be going to dates for several nights in a row without your or Steve’s knowledge. Perfect bait with nearly perfect surveillance background and safety measures.

Predictably, it had gone to shit and while you had never been blown up to death, which was something Steve had had zero clue about, you had been recovering from your life-threatening injuries for weeks in a hidden facility of top-secret location with way too much security. Still without Captain America’s knowledge.

Admittedly, this tale was a PR nightmare in making, not to mention a complete bullshit. Yet, the Avengers (sans Steve so far) unanimously approved of it. Tony and Natasha would be the first to blame, while the rest would reluctantly admit they knew as well and they had all kept it from Steve.

“You can’t be serious,” was all you managed to come up with, Steve sitting on the couch next to you while the rest of the team, the part that was momentarily on Earth, gathered around you to break you the news. This was what they came up with? “People will hate you.”

“And their hearts would still bleed for their golden boy, who would forgive us in time, especially since we offered his girl a job and an apartment she can’t quite refuse.”

“Wait, what kind of a job?!” Steve snapped, waking up from the deep thoughts he had fallen into with this stupid talk.

“The non-dangerous kind, Steve, calm down, please,” Natasha cooled him off flatly, but you could see her sincere gaze when it met with Steve’s. We wouldn’t endanger her, not again, it whispered. Steve’s shoulders slumped.

“What kind of a job?” you echoed, still worried. You assumed the apartment Tony mentioned was a place in the Tower, not bothering to ask about that part.

“PR. Unless you want to deal with your old job of which I have no doubt your best buddy would give back. I’d just like to remind you how the public reacted to you dying.”

Right. You wouldn’t mind a little privacy and safe space. You liked your old job, but it didn’t seem like an option now. Except… this was crazy.

“But they will still hate you. It makes you guys terrible friends and teammates. Frankly, it makes you kind of… terrible people,” you said slowly, taking time to examine everyone’s face.

“She’s got a point,” Steve agreed, wheels in his head clearly turning in a lightning speed.

“Meh. You should know what Fury’s up to during his ‘the end justifies the means’ periods – which is non-stop. I wouldn’t worry about that,” Natasha shrugged it off, pursing her lips a bit.

“Wasn’t it you who said you weren’t sure how to get her back to the world without having to explain she was literally led by an angel from Heaven?” Clint reacted to Steve, who sighed.

“Yes, of course, but this-“

“-is perfectly believable,” Natasha interrupted him, raising an eyebrow before beckoning to Tony and herself. “Me and Tony came up with the operation – a spy and a billionaire with questionable conscience. We pulled the rest of the team into the charade. This can work.”

“I can’t say I’ll enjoy this,” Bruce entered the conversation for the first time, surprising everyone. “However, it will allow you to walk the streets freely – with uncomfortable questions, yes, but it is a reasonable deal for us.”

“Steve? Thoughts?” the spy turned to him again.

Your soulmate observed his team for a long time, just like you, watching each of them individually, trying to read them as he himself was conflicted and undecisive. Finally, his eyes settled on you, a hint of an encouraging smile on his lips.

“Doll? How do you feel about that?”

The softness of his voice, the actual freedom he gave you when it came to this decision warmed your heart and made you shudder at the same time. You had no doubt he had come to a decision; but the final step was on you and you only. He would be affected too, of course, but this was your life that could turn upside down for like… what, the third time since you had met him?

You worried your teeth over your lower lip. “I mean… I’d really appreciate not having to hide in here all the time, but… I don’t want people to hate you, guys. I feel like I caused enough problems-“

“No, doll,” Steve whispered, his hand covering yours and squeezing firmly as he locked his gaze with yours and didn’t let go. “I’m not asking about them. I’m asking about you. They are clearly willing to do this.”

“Are you?” you questioned despite being confident about his answer.

“Do I love you?”

That caught you off guard. “Huh? That’s not what I-…?”

What did that even mean? Did he love— come again? How was this about his feelings towards you all of sudden? Was it time to question them? God, you hoped NOT.

“That the newest version of asking whether the sky is blue, doll,” he explained with a lop-sided smile and you released a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding.

Idiot. Sap. Sweet-talker.

“You’re such a sap.”

“You love it,” he hummed confidently. You smiled despite your better judgement. You loved him. And yeah, you loved this silliness too.

“I do.”

“So… are we doing this? Together?” His smiled grew a little wider, the twinkle you adored appearing in his eyes and you couldn’t but squeeze his hand back.

“Yeah. Together.”

“Jarvis, send Dum-E with some insulin shots,” Tony cleared his throat and you felt your cheek dust with a blush, roughly pulled out of the haze Steve managed to put you in once again. “We’re all having unhealthy sugar rush.”

The captain rolled his eyes. “Har, har, Stark. Are you guys really okay with this?”

Clint huffed. “It’s not like people will start planning our assassination more than they do already.”

“Tamara might,” Natasha opposed, amused.

“Ah, poor Tamara, I better bring a wine with me when asking…” Tony mused, scratching his goatee.

You turned to the red-head spy, not happy about being out of the loop.

“Who’s Tamara?”

Tamara, the head of the PR department for Tony (and sometimes for the Avengers too, because those two clients, so to speak, often came as a package deal), was currently starring at you speechless when you told her the tale of what actually happened and what lie they had decided to feed the public.

The silence lasted long enough for you to start worrying.

“Are you alri-“

“Angels are real?!” she burst out, nearly making you jump out of your skin with the sudden exclaim. You placed your palm over your chest to keep your racing heart inside your ribcage.

“…yes. But so are demons, shapeshifters, witches and so on, so…”

“Not a good thing to go public with. Got it. I understand the cover-up now. Though people being able to be resurrected would be enough on its own even without the… creatures. My my… we have a lot of work to do.”

“I’d imagine,” you agreed, not having a clue how to do this and where to start.

The woman looked at you over the rim of her glasses, her smile kind, in the Stark contrast to her loud cry only few second ago.

“…you don’t have any experience with PR at all, do you?”

“Nope,” you admitted, accenting the P and looking away, ashamed that Tony threw you into this without giving you anything helpful.

Now Tamara had to deal with the scandal and with you trying to help. That woman was worthy of some serious pay raise (though you had no doubt Tony paid her enough for her to own a villa or something, exactly as much as she deserved for dealing with his shit).

“I’m gonna kill Anthony, I swear…. Okay,  let’s get this shit on the road. Also, Jarvis? Tell Antony to get the freakin’ wine ASAP.”

Oh yeah. You would actually adore Tamara, you were sure of it.

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Part 2

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Here we go! The final part of the series. Admittedly, I’m not sure about quality of this thing, but I’m trying.

Chapter titles are taken from the chorus of Les Friction’s What You Need

Thank you for reading ♥

(I’ll be tagging my Errare Humanum Est taggies, if you don’t want ot be taggged anymore, let me know)

[thebiasrekkers]

Shadow’s Birthright | MYG

Chapter 06: Convergence

Plot: Riding in on thunder and lightning, two princes are born. But a crown cannot be shared. It can only be worn by one and one alone. The hands of man have separated the brothers, allowing one to live in wealth and comfort inside the palace while the other grows up among commoners. But Fate cannot be destroyed by the hands of man. A shared destiny reunites the brothers; one to become a king who descends into madness and the other will rise as a dragon whose journey has only just begun in order to claim a crown he does not desire to have.

Rating: NC-17 // NSFW

Genre: series | historical!au | fantasy!au | angst | romance | drama | tragedy

Pairing: Min Yoongi (Lee Yoon) x Female OC (Kalina Shuri)

Warnings: Historical setting, caste system, magic/sorcery, graphic violence, disturbing graphic images, religious tones, angst, slow burn, smut

Previous Chapters: Prologue 01 02 03 04 05

Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 4,065

Tag List: @luxekook, @pinkpjmin, @btsaudge, @flowerwrites06, @stillcopingxx, @taevkimchi, @aroseforyoongi, @vivpurple7, @happilystrongthroughthedark, @sw33tnight, @nikkitane, @mini-coop25, @shrimpmsg, @ggukkieland​

AN: Sorry this took me so long. Life decided it wanted to kick me in the face repeatedly. But I did warn everyone this was going to take a little time with the updates. Please be patient with me. I promise you that it will be worth the wait. If you would like to be added to the tag list, feel free to drop me a line!

P.S. Please bear in mind that while the historical accuracy will be mostly correct, I am setting this in a time period in Joseon history where there was no such thing as a king who had a twin brother. Obviously that’s where the fiction/creative freedom is going to come in. Everything else will be period accurate, trust and believe.

© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

“Things do not happen. Things are made to happen.” - John F. Kennedy

Yoon greeted his parents with the Crown Princess at his side. They both bowed deeply as they heard the King and Queen laugh in delight. The Royal Consorts also received bows from the Crown Prince and Princess. Finally, they turned and were given bows from the princesses and princes of the Royal Court. The officials and guards, as well as the rest of the palace staff, were present for the opening ceremony to celebrate Crown Prince Yoon’s first international liaison. 

When they were finally dismissed, Yoon took his seat next to the Crown Princess, waiting for food and wine to be served. Various voices of praise and congratulations were given to Yoon, to which he simply nodded his head politely and smiled while returning his own charming forms of gratitude. He allowed the Crown Princess to serve him a cup of wine and he, in turn, also served her. Merriment and good cheer surrounded the palace.

It made Yoon sick to his stomach.

The conversation he had with his Father-In-Law still didn’t sit well with him. At his own behest, he politely reminded Minister Jang that he should keep his small-minded ambitions to himself. He didn’t need to drag the Crown Princess into his mess. Regardless of his own personal feelings, Yoon held a deep amount of respect for his Princess. Jang Chae-Ok had no ambitions or selfish desires for wanting to be Crown Princess. She was simply a childhood friend to Yoon who always remained faithfully at his side. 

The Crown Princess was not blind to his relationship with Kalina. But she also did not question it. It was from this show of her character alone that Yoon promised he would not take a Royal Consort when he became King. He owed her that much for her understanding.

“I wish that I could accompany you, Your Highness.” The Crown Princess’s voice was sad, matching her expression. 

He reached out to grasp her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It will be a long journey. It is no place for a Crown Princess.” Yoon smiled. “I will be back before you realize I’m gone.”

She sighed. “I will miss you greatly.” She placed her hand over his. “Do be careful.”

“I will, Crown Princess.”

A loud gong resounded, drawing everyone’s attention. All conversation hushed as the head of the Artisan school approached. He bowed deeply while the others waited with anticipation for his announcement. 

“Members of the Royal Court! We are here to celebrate the Crown Prince’s upcoming journey. We wish him great fortune but before he traverses out in the world, we want to be able to ease his worries and give him memories to hold on to as he travels to Ming. Things that he will be able to keep close to his heart and treasure if he should ever become homesick.” 

Yoon smiled, despite his own internal dark thoughts. He loved his country. He loved his people. The skills they mastered in order to have these small moments to showcase their talents were clearly battles within their own houses. Some performers and artists had better skills than others, hence why they were allowed to appear at the forefront. Others were still in training to be able to climb up in the ranks along the way. 

He secretly admired the drive that pushed these individuals along. Everyone had dreams, goals, and ambitions. People’s reasons for doing anything were threads that bonded everyone together to achieve common goals. No matter how small or big, they were to be appreciated. Even if one could not voice these appreciations aloud. 

The Chief Artisan gave a wide gesture, spinning on his heels as the performers made their way into the grand courtyard. “We hope that our performers, both within the palace walls, and those who have managed to make their ways from the streets, will be able to soothe your soul.”

Everyone applauded as Senior Artisan stepped away, allowing for the in house performers to showcase everything they’ve practiced for days. Curiously, Yoon hummed to himself at the mention of street performers entering the palace. If they were skilled enough to gain the court’s attention, there was a good chance they would be given slots to enter the performance schools within the palace halls. It would be a golden opportunity to change their livelihoods for the better.

He was keen to see just what they were made of.

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

Jimin clicked his tongue against the back of his teeth, silencing Taehyung’s whining. “Hyung-nim is filling in for Namjoon Hyung-nim.” His eyes narrowed. “Surely you don’t expect him to wear the dress, do you?”

Taehyung pouted. “No, but still!”

“Besides,” Hoseok cut in, patting Taehyung’s shoulders roughly, “we all memorized multiple parts in case something happens. We only had time for Hyung-nim to learn one. Stop being difficult.”

Yoongi smirked, shaking his head while readjusting the waistband to his costume. The large rosary that hung from his neck was heavy and the boots were a little bit cumbersome, but bearable. He would be able to switch his shoes out when it came time for the tightrope routine. Jungkook and Seokjin fawned over him, making sure he looked as proper as he could in performance gear. 

Namjoon appeared, holding out a red and black demon mask to him. “I gave it some new paint earlier so it should be dry now.”

Taking the mask from him, Yoongi cradled it in his hands. “Thank you, Namjoon-ah.” He scratched at the cloth headband. “What will you be doing during the performance?”

“I’ll be narrating and helping the musicians out. Percussion, mostly.” 

“I see.” Yoongi eyed the mask, taking note of the large white fangs protruding from the mouth carved into the wood. 

Because of the depth of the role, he wouldn’t be able to take his mask off during the entire performance. Beneficial for him, but he hated that Namjoon wouldn’t be getting any credit. Yoongi knew how hard they all must have been preparing for this particular performance. A small measure of guilt wormed its way into his heart, but Namjoon’s laugh brought him out of his thoughts. 

“Now I feel even more terrible, Hyung-nim.” Yoongi saw the concerned look on Namjoon’s face, even though he was smiling. “Seriously, you’re doing me a favor. I feel bad enough. If you keep looking like that, I’ll think I’m completely worthless.”

“I’m sorry, Namjoon-ah.” Clearing his throat, he nodded. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be feeling like this.”

“Thank the heavens you’re wearing a mask.” Taehyung pushed his headband up a little more. “Otherwise the audience is going to think you’re guilty of some crime.”

“It’s just nerves.” Jimin flashed Yoongi a reassuring smile. “Right, Hyung-nim?”

All he could do was give a small smile. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Hayan Geutop Troupe?” An unfamiliar voice pulled all of their attention. They saw someone dressed in official robes motioning toward them. “You’re up next.”

No one could hide their excitement. This was the first time any of them would be entering the palace. Each of them were given temporary passes to gain access. Once inside, they all made sure they were looking their best. The sound of joyful laughter and music rumbled through the courtyard, causing Yoongi’s heartbeat to elevate with excitement.

“Hyung-nim!” Jungkook gently nudged Yoongi’s back. “Your mask! Don’t forget to put it on!”

“Oh. Right.” Yoongi slid the large Demon mask over his head, making sure the cloth headwrap covered every part of his neck from view except the front. 

The sound of loud drums rang out through the courtyard. It was a little bit difficult to breathe with the mask on, but not impossible. If anything, Yoongi was more concerned with the mask falling off by accident. But Hoseok assured him that the bands were secured and redesigned to fit his head perfectly. It wouldn’t come off unless he pulled it off himself.

Admittedly, his nerves were a little frayed. Being around so many people at once, as well as so much noise, was teetering him toward sensory overload. But he continued to remind himself that he had a job to do. He just needed to get through the performance and then he could continue exploring the Crown City to his heart’s content. They were set to ride back out to the mountains at first light.

He hoped the shops would still be open before the lanterns were lit.

The large drum was hit, signaling for everyone to settle down. Yoongi took another breath, waiting for their group to be announced in front of the Royal Court. His vision was limited through the small holes in his mask - the rest of the world shadowed on either side of him. He could hear his own breath in his ears as he tried to peer out in front of him. But he wasn’t sure what he was even looking for. There was a strange pull at his heart; a feeling he couldn’t quite explain. 

Like someone was calling to him.

No. Like multiple people were calling to him.

“Members of the Royal Court! I present to you a troupe of young performers who hail from the outskirts of the Crown City!” The Chief Artisan looked in their direction as some of the students in the palace artisan school helped to set up their stage. “The White Tower Troupe!”

There was a round of polite applause from all the members of the royal court. The other troupe members were helping to set up the first scene for their skit. Yoongi waited patiently, even though he offered to help. Taehyung and Hoseok insisted that he stand back and focus on the performance. It wouldn’t take them long to get the set pieces ready. Once everything was put together, Namjoon walked gently forward and bowed deeply to the Royal family seated at the large banquet table.

“Please forgive our lack of eloquence, Your Majesties, as we attempt to regale you with a story. It is one I am sure you are all familiar with, but allow us to perform it for you just the same.” He flicked out the large fan in his hand, a picture of a blue sky and a green field painted on it. “We humbly present to you...the Tale of Green Pearl and the Demon!”

Yoon felt Chae-Ok grab his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He cast a sidelong glance in her direction, noting the soft pink flush that tinted her cheeks. He knew it wasn’t from the wine but more from her excitement. He smiled as she met his gaze.

“Oh, I love this story!” She looked back out toward the courtyard. “I’m interested to see how they will tell it.”

“As am I.”

The bass drum resounded through the large space just as the troupe finished setting up for the first scene. The narrator who spoke walked off to the sidelines and took a seat on a plush cushion that was provided for him. Silence draped over everyone present as the actors moved to their positions. 

“Many years ago, there was a humble man who lived a humble life. He had a humble trade and a humble wife. The wife bore him two children. A son named White Fang and a daughter named Green Pearl.”

Yoon watched as the narrator spoke about each character. One by one, they all appeared - their faces concealed with wooden masks painted in eloquent designs. Lingering off to the side was an actor clothed in black, red and gold garbs - a demon mask covering his face. Yoon felt his heart beating a little faster as he gazed at the person, unsure of why this strange sensation was lurching in his chest. 

The narrator slapped his stick against the small drum cradled in his lap. “As the seasons changed and the children grew older, the father became ill. The wife sent for what physicians they could afford and the old apothecary said that there was nothing he could do. The wife was distraught, unsure of what would become of her or her children should her husband leave this world for his journey to the afterlife.”

“Seobang-nim! You cannot leave us like this!” The wife sobbed beside the husband, cradling his hand between her palms. “What are we to do without you? How are we supposed to live?!”

“Don’t worry, Mother,” said White Fang as he placed his hand over his mother’s, “I will find a way to cure Father. I will travel across foreign lands until I can find the medicine that will save Father’s life!”

Again, the narrator struck the drum. “White Fang left to search for a cure for his ailing father, leaving his mother and sister behind.”

Yoon watched the person portraying Green Pearl moving toward the backdrop meant to pose as a wide open field. A lone tree stood off in the distance where she clasped her hands together and prayed. 

“Gods of Heaven, I beseech you! Please help my father. Please find a way to help him get better!” cried Green Pearl as she lowered her head, all but sobbing into her hands.

Heavy drums beat softly, signaling an ominous transition. Yoon watched as the actor portraying the demon slowly moved forward, until he was mere feet from the Royal Banquet table. The Demon whipped his head around to face the Royal family, causing everyone to lean back and gasp. 

All except Yoon.

Maybe it was the optical illusion of the mask, but he swore that the demon was looking directly at him. His heartbeat escalated, a soft thunder against his chest, and he waited for the demon to speak. There was a line here. Yoon remembered it. A line where the demon spoke to the audience of his wicked scheme.

But the demon said nothing. All he did was stare. Had the actor forgotten his lines?

“A demon heard Green Pearl’s cries, intrigued by her earnest wailings.”

The narrator cut through the silence. This seemed to wake the demon up, causing him to swiftly shuffle back a few steps as he threw his arm out in a dramatic flourish. 

“The sweet sound of sorrow nourishes my heart,” the Demon exclaimed, curling his shoulders forward. He pressed a hand against his face, fingers gliding over the white fangs on the mask. “It is the sound of easy prey. How I have longed to devour such a miserable soul!”

He heard the Crown Princess gasp as the Demon ran forward, leaping into the air and landing on the tightrope with amazing ease. Yoon quirked a brow, internally admiring the actor’s swiftness and balancing abilities. The Demon leaned forward, slinging his legs out until he was hanging upside down from the rope. 

Green Pearl took a sharp intake of breath, clutching at the front of her dress. “W-Who goes there?”

“A humble and curious Demon. But nevermind me, Sweet Child.” The Demon spoke in a cooing and sweet voice. “What seems to be ailing you? What causes you to mourn so?”

“My father is ill and there is no way to save him. My brother has left to travel in hopes of finding medicine to cure him.” Green Pearl turned away from the Demon, looking off in the distance. “I mourn for my family and what is to become of them should my father pass.”

The Demon laughed, swinging his body so that he was now sitting upright on the tightrope. He rested a hand on his knee and leaned forward, drawing Green Pearl’s attention once more. “This is a simple problem with a simple solution.”

“It is anything but simple!”

“Oh, but it is!” The Demon hopped onto the rope, bouncing up and down in a playful manner. “Because I know how to save your ailing father!”

Green Pearl stepped toward the tree, her hand reaching up toward the Demon but she was far out of his reach. “What do you know? Please, tell me how to save my father!”

The Demon bounced on the rope a few more times before dismounting, landing just a few feet away from her. He placed his hands behind his back and paced, not really bothering to stray too far from her but not coming too close. “There is a flower that grows in the western mountains. It is said that creating a potion from this flower can cure any illness.” He spun on his heels just as Green Pearl tried to approach him, causing her to halt in her steps. “But it is an arduous journey. Many have died trying to claim this flower.”

“Can you guide me to this mountain?” 

The Demon circled her, his steps slow and measured. “What will you give me if I decide to lend you my aid?”

“Whatever you wish to claim from me, Sir!” Green Pearl fell to her knees. “No boon is too great when it comes to saving the life of my father!”

The Demon knelt down before Green Pearl, lifting her face to meet his. “You will become my bride. That is the price you must pay if you wish to obtain my help.”

“If marrying a demon is the trade we are making, then I would marry you a thousand times.” 

The Demon pulled Green Pearl up onto her feet, a hearty laugh bursting from his chest. “Then come! Let us be off! The day grows shorter and the journey will be that much harder for you when the night comes.”

A gong and more heavy drums rang out as the Demon and Green Pearl exited the stage. Troupe members hurried to change the set backdrop to suit the next scene transition. 

“So Green Pearl and the Demon hurried toward the Western Mountains. The journey was, indeed, arduous. Many perils crossed their paths, but the Demon protected Green Pearl every step of the way. The harshest trek, however, was the path leading up toward the mountains. Wild animals impeded their path. Even the cold mountain winds attempted to blow the two off the krags so they would plummet to their deaths.”

With each scene change, a linen drape with a painted landscape was swapped. The serene music fit the pacing of each scene and the narrator’s strong voice pushed the actors to continue through the skit. Yoon knew this tale very well. Yet watching it unfold in this manner made the story seem brand new. He was particularly drawn to the Demon, unable to shake the tremors in his heart as the masked performer’s moves seemed fluid and natural.

“Finally, Green Pearl and the Demon reached the top of the mountain peaks. There was the mythical flower the Demon mentioned. It was a rich purple in pigment, the stem a soft green and nestled among a cluster of clovers. In the snow and cold temperature, there was no way that any vegetation should have flourished, let alone this single flower.”

Green Pearl reached for the flower, preparing to dig it up from the earth. Suddenly, she was stopped by the Demon’s harsh pull at her wrist. “W-What are you doing?!”

“Do not forget your promise to me, dear Child.” He pulled her flush against him. “You are to be my bride the moment your father is well. And not a minute later.”

“I haven’t forgotten our deal, Demon!” Green Pearl pushed away from him. “We must hurry back quickly!”

A soft bell tinkling sound issued from a row of wind chimes. The Demon laughed, grasping onto Green Pearl and jumping up toward the tightrope. Everyone watching sucked in their breaths as a stream of dark blue fabric followed after them. The Demon dragged Green Pearl behind him as the actors portrayed him using his powers to help them travel quickly. The two actors almost appeared to float across the thick line of rope.

“The Demon used his powers to transport Green Pearl and himself down the mountain. When they reached the foot of the mountain, they instantly moved through the fields. Within minutes, they were back in Green Pearl’s humble village. He safely brought her home and Green Pearl wasted no time preparing the flower into a medicinal tonic for her father.”

Green Pearl appeared next to her mother, holding out a wooden bowl. “This tonic will help Father. Please, we must hurry!”

The Wife started to feed the potion to the ailing Husband. In minutes, he started to rise up from his bed. He held his wife’s hands and she threw herself into his arms. 

“Husband! You are well!” she cried as her husband held her close. 

He laughed, stroking her back. “Yes, I am well, Pu-in. But tell me, what has helped me come back from the gates of the Underworld?”

“I traveled far to retrieve a flower that is said to cure any illness.” Green Pearl hugged her father’s neck.

“A flower?” He tilted his head to the side. “How did you come to learn of this flower?”

Green Pearl lowered her head. “A Demon told me. He guided me to the Western Mountains and I plucked the flower from the highest peak.”

Both the husband and wife looked at each other, clutching at their chests. The father reached out for his daughter’s hands. “You foolish girl! How could you make an agreement with a demon?!”

“Don’t you know that a deal with a demon only breeds disaster?!” The mother shook Green Pearl’s shoulders. “You have sold your soul to the Underworld!”

Green Pearl pulled herself away from her family. “I’m sorry!” She ran out of the house where the Demon was waiting for her. “We must hurry!”

The Demon grabbed her hand in his. “Let us leave this place!”

“Stop right there, you foul trickster!” The Father appeared, brandishing a wheat sickle. “Release my daughter, this instant!”

The Demon laughed. “The deal has been made, Human! You cannot break the contract!” 

The sound of a gong exploded over the courtyard, causing the Demon to gasp. When he looked down, there was a sword plunged through his stomach. As he turned, the assailant stepped forward to push the blade through his gut even further. The Demon reached out with a bloodied hand toward the one who attacked him. 

“B-Brother!”

White Fang ripped the sword from the Demon’s body, causing the Demon to fall to his knees. His head hung low and Green Pearl was instantly at the Demon’s side. He finally collapsed to the ground and Green Pearl clung to his shivering form. 

“What have you done?!” she screamed as the Demon continued to tremble in her arms. “Why did you strike him?!”

“It was a Demon, Green Pearl!” White Fang dropped the sword from his hand and the satchel from his back. “They only breed misfortune!”

“Y-You fool,” sputtered the Demon, “I would have given her a good life.” A trembling arm lifted as he pointed at White Fang. “Because of your actions, you have now condemned your sister to death.”

“What?!” White Fang dropped to his knees. The husband and wife hurried forward. “What lies do you speak, Demon?”

The Demon turned to look up at Green Pearl. “I will not be able to give you a life you deserve.” He touched the side of her face. “But I will be able to stay with you in the Afterlife. Always.”

“I am sorry for the cruel nature of man! Forgive me!” Green Pearl sobbed, burying her face in the Demon’s shoulder. “I will see you on the other side.”

And then the Demon’s hand fell limply to the ground. Seconds later, Green Pearl collapsed next to him.

Silence filled the courtyard. No one spoke. Hardly anyone took a moment to breathe, Yoon included. 

It was broken the minute that the King began to clap. The Queen soon followed until everyone at the Royal Banquet table rose from their seats and applauded. Yoon was still stunned, but he, too, clapped. The actors remained where they were - unmoving. However, the narrator stepped forward and bowed deeply to them. The tragic scene remained, but the story’s message still lingered in the air. 

Even a Demon was deserving of love and a person could see beyond the surface to one’s true heart.

But when promises were broken, a terrible fate would await. 

[badwithten]

doesn’t have to be a love story

〉yangyang x fem!reader

〉highschool au

〉word count 3.7k

〉warnings swearing, alcohol, vaping, violence? (not really)

 〉yangyang and y/n have been close for a long time but it didn't really make sense.  those two didn’t mix, especially if there was no romance involved. this is why their friends found it so hard to believe that this wouldn’t end in a relationship, it won't right?  

“Yangyang it's pretty obvious you like her” It's not the first time he's heard those words, and he's certain it won't be the last. I suppose it was strange around here for guys and girls to be friends without a relationship. But that's all it was, only a friendship.

“It's not like that” He groaned and turned his attention to the block of wood he was supposed to be cutting for his hard material class, so far it was not coming along how he wanted. But he didn't feel discouraged, Xiaojuns one was way worse.

“Why don't you just say something?” Xiaojun was pretty reluctant with this whole Y/N and Yangyang thing, convincing himself that they were the end game. But in Yangyangs eyes it just wasn't like that. 

You two became friends in your first year of high school after being sat at the same table in math. You found joy in his jokes about the teacher and he thought it was funny he had to help you with your math every five minutes. Admittedly he wasn't the best at it either. 

Although the constant comments from his friends regarding the relationship between you two got annoying, he understood where they were coming from. He had never had this close of a bond with a girl before, especially not with a girl and it didn't lead anymore. But you were different. You were kind, funny, you understood him, you listened and even cooked for him when his parents went away for the weekend. Even though he loved his group of friends, they were ‘the boys’. It was difficult talking to them about things, it made it hard to talk about emotions or what he enjoyed in fear of not fitting in. He was probably being ridiculous but either way, it didn't matter, because he had you to express his feelings with anyway.

What Yangyang didn't know was that you were also dealing with similar comments from your friends. They were suspicious about the amount of time you two spent together. Even after you explained to them, several times, that he was just a friend nothing more. They insisted that you make a move. It made sense to them, you were always complaining about being single, how you wanted someone in your life. The way you would describe the person you wanted, someone funny, caring, passionate and stood up for what they believed in. All those things were Yangyang, 

But that's not how you saw it, if you and him had gone out, it just wouldn't have worked. The friendship you had was too special to risk that. You will always be grateful for the late nights spent with him, only heading home when your mum calls you telling you she's going to bed. 

Maybe it was because you saw a different side of him. Yangyang, the class clown, who ditches class, doesn’t hand in homework and writes rap lyrics on his tests. But the Yangyang you knew was sensitive, he took into consideration his surroundings and how he affected others and despite what many people think, he was intelligent. The conversations you two had under the stars never left your mind.

The sun was too hot for you to be stuck in such an uncomfortable uniform for any longer than you had to, yet Yangyang was nowhere to be seen. You agreed to meet him outside the gym after the last period since that's where his class would be, and he still managed to be late. This isn't surprising, he had PE. Five minutes after the bell goes, he and Ten finally pile out of the gym, the rest of their class nowhere to be seen. 

“Hey Y/N” Ten skips over with Yangyang trailing behind. He pulls you into a hug, you watch Yangyang roll his eyes from over Tens shoulder, causing you to laugh. “What's funny?”

Ten pulls away to look at you two but no one makes a move to say anything. “Well have fun on your date you two” Before you can get a word in to defend yourself he leaves, slapping Yangyang on the ass for good measure before dashing towards the front of the school.

“They’re still going on about that?” You and Yangyang finally make your way out the back of the school to start the long journey home. 

“Yeah don't worry about it, you know what they're like” You hum in agreement, not wanting to dwell on the awkward subject. Although you were both forced to hear these remarks every day, it was a different story when the other was with you. It just made things weird. Which caused even more confusion, you both strongly denied that you had any feelings, if so why did it make things awkward?

“Why did you get held in any way?” 

“Me and Ten kept getting balls stuck in the roof so we had to pack up” 

“On accident?” 

“Oh yeah definitely on ‘accident’. And you know what Mrs Hooper is like, doesn't like to have fun” You let out a laugh and rub your eyes, you forgot what he was like. You continue walking towards your usual hang out spot, the park down the road from his house. Stopping at the corner store first, getting drinks and chips to snack on.

“These pringles taste like ass” You look down in disbelief at the whole container of BBQ pringles that you had just bought after Yangyangs suggestion. “Why did you tell me to get these?”

“Well I think they're nice” He reaches over the table and snatches the container away from you.

“You baited me into buying you chips!”

“Not my fault you're slow” He gives you a cheeky smile and downs a few pringles followed by his redbull.

“Unbelievable”

“What's your speech on?” You almost jump out of your seat, not expecting Yangyang to come whisper such things in your ear. 

“I haven't decided yet, I've just been playing the snake game” You look around the room to see where the teacher is, yet you can't see him anywhere, the reason why Yangyang is standing beside you.

“I know I've been watching you” He sits down in the empty chair next to you. “You could always write about me you know?”

“Yangyang, I love you” He leans forward, resting his head on his hand and batters his eyelashes. “But no”

“Tsk your lost” As the teacher walks into the room he quickly stands to head back to his original seat across the class. 

“Yangyang, what are you doing out of your seat?” Mr Smith, a usually pretty chill teacher, still didn’t appreciate people mucking around when he's gone.

“Y/N needed help, sir” Your eyes go wide and you stare down Yangyang, he has the biggest smile across his face.

“Why didn't you say so? I'll be there soon Miss L/N '' You turn and mouth to Yangyang.

‘I hate you’

“Aren't you cold?” Yangyang asks, you can hear in his voice that he himself is shivering from the cold, despite the fact he has a jacket on. 

“A bit but what am I supposed to do about it?”

“I got an idea” You expect him to offer you his jacket, or maybe his sweatshirt. But instead, you just get pain.

“Ow! Yangyang, did you just punch my leg?” You reach down and rub the spot he just hit, it wasn't that painful but you liked to play it up. 

“It'll burn up now, you're welcome” Even though it's pitch black, you just know that he has the biggest shit-eating grin on his face.

“I think I should head home now, we have school tomorrow” You stand up and pat down your slightly damp leggings from the dewy grass. Yangyang also scrambles to his feet.

“Wait if this is because of the punch I’m sorry” 

“No, what the, it's just I have to walk home and it's already so dark” You pick up your bag and head towards the footpath out of the park. His house is on the way towards your house so you always end up dropping him home first,

“I don't wanna leave yet, my parents aren't home, it's scary living by yourself” You stop in your tracks, unable to believe what he just said.

“If your parents' aren't home, then why have we been sitting out in the cold for the past 3 hours?” You hear the rustle of his jacket, indicating he simply just shrugged. “Oh my god, Yangyang. Do you want me to stay with you tonight?”

“Yes please,” You don't mind the idea of spending all night with him, especially if it means you don't have to walk all the way home. As you turn into his street you realize you've ever actually been to his house before, despite the countless times he showed up at your door. You were caught slightly off guard at how nice the place was, you don't know what you were expecting but something about Yangyang didn't exactly scream fancy. 

“Wow your place is really nice Yangyang” You comment as you take off your shoes at the door, the warmth comforting from the chill you had gotten.

“Thanks” Yangyang heads straight to the kitchen and you follow, unsure what to do with yourself. “Do you want anything to eat? We should probably make tea”

“Well, what is there?” He walks around the counter and opens up the fridge.

“Not a lot” You move around to look over his shoulder and are disappointed at what you see.

“Why is there only grapes?” 

“I don't know, grapes are good.” He grabs out the grapes and starts popping them into his mouth, unfazed by the fact that there's there's no real food in his fridge, apart from various condiments.

“How long have you been home alone for?” 

“A couple of nights”

“And you've been eating grapes the whole time?” He nods and continues eating. “Should I make some proper food?”

“Yeah, I can't cook”

“Pasta?”

“Yeah but I don't like onion or garlic, or tomatoes really” You sigh and rub your face, this was going to be a long night.

You and Yangyang weren't the best at being organised, meaning you left his house at eight am, it took forty-five minutes to walk to school, and school started at eight-thirty. Luckily for you, you had art first, meaning there was no real pressure to get to school on time. Not so lucky for Yangyang who had studies of society. You get to school and part ways. You know you'll see him throughout the day but your conversations are never as good when other people are around. 

You get to the art room and the teacher says good morning, no comment about being late although you know you'll hear all about it from Ten when you see him sitting by himself.

“Morning,” You say as you drop your bag down. “Where's Winwin?”

“Sick apparently” He shrugs and focuses on the work in front of him, carefully shading in the portrait of himself with charcoal. “And someone had to leave me all alone this morning”

“It was fifteen minutes” You roll your eyes and wander off to get your art from the folder up the front, it's not your best piece but it'll get you a pass. A portrait of Harry Styles.  “I can't believe they let you do yourself for this”

“Why would I not be allowed to?” You sit down next to him and start working right away. 

“The project was a charcoal portrait of someone you look up to or who inspires you” 

“Yeah, I look up to myself” You laugh at his confidence, something you wish you had. You can't blame him though, the photo he chose is very flattering. And Ten is talented, it's coming out like a masterpiece.

“You like shit by the way” Ten is known for not holding back his comments, but even then he always catches you off guard.

“Thanks” 

“You know what I mean”

“Yeah yeah. I stayed at Yangyangs last night and didn't have any of my stuff” Ten groans and turns in his seat to look at you deeply. 

“Y/N this is frustrating. Do you like him or not?” 

“We've been over this a hundred times Ten, no I don't like him” Ten Reaches forward and presses the back of his hand onto your cheek.

“Then why is your face heating up?” Your eyes go wide and you rest your head on your arms face down on the desk. You hear Ten laughs as he begins rubbing circles into your back. “You're allowed to have feelings for him you know?”

“But I just don't want to ruin our friendship, he's special to me”

“So you do like him?”

“Ugh, Ten I don't know!” Your voice is louder than expected and the class turns to look at you, embarrassment bubbles up more in your stomach as you stare down at your desk.

“Y/N, Chittaphon. Quiet down.

“Sorry Sir”

“Yangyang, why are you fifteen minutes late to class?”

“Sorry Miss, I had a guest round this morning and lost track of time”

“Ok just make sure you catch up, get Kun to explain the work to you” She sighs and flicks him away with his wrist, he hurriedly moves to the back of the class where Kun is sat, as well as a couple other kids.

“I thought you were home alone, who did you have round?” Yangyang is surprised Kun even heard what he said to the teacher, but apparently, it's one of his many talents. 

“Y/N stayed '' He immediately regrets saying anything but he knows he won't be able to lie for long either way.

“How was it?” 

“Fine” Kun looks over expecting more of a reply than that. “I don't know man, she made me pasta and we watched a movie. Nothing happened.”

“She made you food? She must be whipped.”

“What?”

“In creative catering, she wouldn't even let me try her icing to see what it was supposed to taste like. Mine ended up being sour.”

“Ok, so she cooked for me? That doesn't mean anything”

“Hmm sure,” Kun turns back to his history assignment.

“Wait tell me what it means”

“God, are you that thick?” When Yangyang just stares at him blankly he drops his head. “She likes you”

“She does?”

ten: did yangyang talk to you this morning

ten: about anything

ten: specifically y/n?

kun: Maybe? Why? Did she talk to you about anything

kun: He just told me she cooked for him

ten: y/n never cooks for anyone

ten: did he not pick up on that?

kun: Ikr 

kun: He seemed happy to hear that she likes him

ten: should i tell her that he likes her as well?

kun: Go for it

kun: Nothing will happen otherwise

The next day you managed to get to class on time, although you can't say the same for Yangyang. You walk into a semi-full class and head to the back to join Ten and Lucas, accounting was boring and you never understood anything but Lucas managed to make things bearable. Ten, well he mainly made things worse. 

“Y/N, exciting news” Was the first thing said to you by Ten which usually meant it wasn't good news. You groan as you sit down, already feeling defeated.

“What is it?” Lucas seems more excited than you to hear about this.

“Yangyang finally admitted his feelings for Y/N”

“What?” You sit up straight, unable to believe the words you're hearing. Ten has a grin and Lucas is laughing harder than you've ever seen him laugh before. “Are you serious?”

“What's wrong with that?”

“Ughh” You rub your eyes hard enough you're sure that they're red. “I just, I don't know”

“You like him don't you? Isn't this a good thing?” Ten has gotten a bit more serious, not expecting you to be so upset by this news. 

“Yes but, I don't know, can we talk about something else please?”

You're also surprised at this news, you never thought you liked Yangyang. In fact, you were so certain you didn't like him. But finding out that maybe you do? It changes everything. Him liking you back only makes things more real. You would think you'd be happy at this news but you don't know. That's the only way to describe things right now. Confused. Yes, you like him, he likes you back. That should be the end of the story. But maybe not. Things are different and you don't know why. It's impossible for you to sleep with all these thoughts rushing. It's even harder for you to go to school without your friends bombarding you with a million questions about Yangyang. You wouldn't mind if it was something else, but you're so unsure of your feelings you don't know how to answer. You're certain Yangyang would have been told you like him as well, Yangyang has more confidence than you and you wouldn't be surprised if he made a move. The thought of him doing so makes you anxious, you don't want him to confess, you don't want to say yes, you don't want it. 

Your phone lights up the darkroom. A text from Yangyang, a perfect distraction from your sleepless night. 

yangx2: hey

yangx2: wanna go for a walk after school tomorrow?

yangx2: i need to get some supplies for class

y/n: sorry i’m not feeling very well

y/n: idk if i’ll be at school tomorrow

yangx2: damn :/

yangx2: get better soon

yangx2: i have to go with lucas :(

y/n: haha you’ll be fine

You didn't show at school for the rest of the week, being too ‘sick’ to do so. Every time a text would come through from Yangyang asking how things were, the conversation would die as quickly as it started thanks to your dry replies. You didn't know how to feel, didn't know what to do. Ignoring him was the only way for you to process your emotions right now. You just needed time. You couldn't be off of school forever, but thankfully it was over soon. It gave you two weeks to sort your shit out. During those two weeks, Yangyang stopped reaching out. You felt bad for giving him false hope but you knew this was what was best. Well, at least you thought so. Maybe things would have worked out in a different life. But right now, it wasn't the right time.

When school started again you were nervous, it was a fresh start. You hoped time just sorted things out. You walked up to the front of the school where you usually meet with everyone. Ten arrived first, then Xiaojun, Winwin next, Kun and Yangyang arrived together and Lucas was probably off at the skatepark vaping with Hendery. Surprisingly things went well, too well.

Everything was back to normal, almost normal. It wasn't awkward with Yangyang, but things weren't right. And you could tell. You two were not as close, he didn't come to annoy you during English, or invite you to his hard materials class to bully Xiaojun. He wasn't Yangyang around you anymore. You were scared you ruined things but maybe he just needed time as well. You hoped that was all, you didn't want to lose someone like him.

The sleepout at Lucas’ you were all hanging out in a heated up way too quickly, with a mixture of sweaty drunk guys and various flavours of vape clouding the room. You couldn't bear to be in there any longer, deciding to slip out the back and sit on the deck outside. The air was harsh but it was a nice contrast to the hot smoke from the room within. Your cheeks were burning hot so the crisp air made it relaxing. You weren't out there for very long until another person escaped the room as well, Yangyang.

“Hey,” You say as he sits down next to you, it wasn't that you didn't want to see him, but it was the first time you two had been alone for a while, especially since he was a bit tipsy.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, it was just hot in there. Are you ok?”

“I'm great.” He looks at you as smiles brightly and you laugh, you miss seeing his face more often.

“Oh yeah,” You entertain his drunk ways and talk to him like a child. “What's got you in such a good mood?”

“I was talking to Nina on the phone”

“Nina?” 

“The girl I like remember, I'm gonna ask her out soon” Your heart sinks and you start to feel sick, although you're not sure if it's from the alcohol or this news. Jealousy spikes within you but you don't know why you have no right to be upset when you pushed him away. You feel stupid for believing that he ever liked you. Ten was just a troll wasn't he? He got you to ghost one of your closest friends who wasn't even interested in you. Thinking back to it, Yangyang always showed signs of liking Nina that he never did to you. Calling her pretty, defending her, buying her food. Yangyang never did that for you despite the fact you were so close. Your heart breaks, even more, knowing you never wanted it in the first place.

“Oh” You try to hide your pain through a smile, he would have been able to pick up if his senses were not blurred.

“Yeah she's great”

“I'm glad to hear that Yangyang, you deserve someone like her in your life”

“Hmm” It turns awkward, you don't know what else to say. Instead, you just stand and head inside. You need another drink to get through the night.

“You ok? I went to look for you at Lucas’ the other night but Ten said you left” Yangyang took you off guard as he pulled up a chair to sit by you in English. 

“Oh yeah, I just wasn't feeling well” It wasn't lying, you just didn't say why you didn't say why. If he asks you'll say that you ate something funny. But in reality, you felt awful because of him. You swallow hard and bring yourself to say the next words. “Hows Nina?”

“Oh, I finally did it” His smile is bigger than anything you've ever seen on him, his eyes brighter than ever before. And it suits him. Being happy suits him. You know you'll never be able to bring him that, but Nina can. Nina suits him.

“Congratulations, I'm proud of you Yangyang” It hurts you to say that but you need to. You have to because you can't be angry at him, you can't. You left him. You ghosted him. Even if he didn't like you, it was a shitty thing to do as a friend. You thought you were so lovable that he had to have a crush on you, but in reality, it was nothing more than a friendship. Not everything turns into love, does it?

[hanjisungz-remade]

penny for your thoughts? ☽ changbin

✦ genre: harry potter au, fluff, slow burn ✦ description: perhaps staying behind for christmas break would be good. you could get a lot of studying in for OWLs and since you were alone, you wouldn’t get distracted... except you weren’t alone ✦ pairings: seo changbin x reader ✦ word count: 28.2k ✦ warnings: mild language, tooth rotting fluff (seriously.... its a lot) ✦ a/n: ive had this idea for so long (nearly 4 years) and im so excited to finally write it! merry christmas and happy holidays in general to you all that celebrate, i hope you eat well and rest well and enjoy 💓 

i.

“Did you hear about the accident in Potions class today?” Jisung spoke quickly, elbow locked with your own as you tried to avoid being separated in the large crowd of students. Somehow he was always able to get the most gossip out of students and continue to stay at the top of your class. 

“No, I’ve been busy focusing on OWLs. I would tell you that you should study too but I know you’ll ace them all.” You nudged him, almost pushing him into a very annoyed looking Slytherin. 

“Hey! I’ve done my fair share of studying as well.” Jisung pouted but shook his head, focusing on shuffling his feet and recounting his story. “Okay so the accident. It was fucking hilarious, first of all. Secondly, I heard this first-year couldn’t tell the difference between fluxweed and knotgrass when they tried to make Polyjuice and they blew up the whole cauldron, like boom!” He made an explosion motion with his hands.

“To be fair you’re quite the handful in Potions as well, and that's coming from your partner.” You thought back to Jisung burning his eyebrows off in third-year after incorrectly mixing ingredients among the many other things you’ve had to endure the past years.

“I will have you know, I am the best partner ever. You get better marks because you fix my mistakes!” Jisung was about to go on but he suddenly lifted his head, a soft, “woah” coming out as you both entered the Great Hall.

Lights were just being hung up as everyone walked into the Great Hall. Professors flicked their wands and spun the strings together to turn the admittedly boring beige walls into a disco-like party of reds and greens.

The tables, which had normally been decorated quite plainly, were now filled with anything and everything Christmas-like. Small trees sat at the head of each table and at the front table where the teachers sat. The goblets shined with a dark red glow, and the cloths protecting the wood from careless students were dyed a light green and shined with sparkles of glitter. Every year they seemed to do something different, whether it be the color of lights on the tree, the decorations around the house banners hung on the walls or the jeweled arrangement on the cups.

You made your way to the Ravenclaw table quietly, smiling at your other friend Luna as you sat down next to her. Before you could say anything, everyone cheered at the sight of the food being served. To be fair, you were very hungry, and you almost joined in on the loud hollers and claps, mostly coming from the Gryffindor table.

As plates of food floated down the long tables you listened to everyone talking. At the table next yours the Hufflepuffs quietly munched on their food, no words being exchanged except for the occasional student squealing and cursing from another playing a trick on them. From that table you made eye contact with your friend Seungmin, raising your eyebrows and laughing when he held up a Potions book and mouthed “kill me” to you. 

Behind you the Slytherins sat quietly, some of them laughing at one of the other houses while others had their heads in their books. You never fully understood the motivations of Slytherins. They loved to be top of the class yet they always felt as if there was something else higher to achieve. Though you couldn’t find them too weird, you were the top of the class and you still wanted to go higher, still wanted to prove yourself. 

You always wondered if you should have been placed in Slytherin, but no one ever dared question the Sorting Hat. That, and you heard a rumor that the Hat took your own feelings into account, and you knew you were always more drawn to Ravenclaw.

On the opposite wall there was a loud murmuring, the Gryffindor’s heads clacking together and you could only assume they were talking about something interesting with your they all seemed to push together into the middle of the long table. How they could relay a message down the whole table made no sense to you, it all sounded like an impossible game of ‘Telephone’, yet with the nodding of heads it looked as if they got their message across.

“Think they’re having another dick measuring contest?” Jisung whispered in your ear as you both began filling up your plates. Of course he had to overload his, but you knew he would end up eating it all.

“I think they wait to go back to the Common Room to do that.” You stated simply, shoveling as much turkey as you thought you could eat onto your large plate. It always turned out that your eyes were bigger than your stomach, but much like Jisung, you were determined to finish.

To your other side Luna leaned towards you, one hand on a fork and the other holding a book open. “Have you guys finished the Herbology study book yet?” Her voice was soft and barely above a whisper.

OWLs started two weeks after Christmas break and to say you were completely not ready was an understatement. You had studied day and night since the beginning of the year, getting as many books from the library that you could. Learning was fun and while you were quite good at it, the thought of failing was always a fear of yours. With the deadline rapidly approaching, so was your heart rate. 

“I skimmed through it but I feel like it would be better to have more hands-on experience.” Jisung shrugged, stuffing his cheeks with turkey and vegetables from the floating plates passing by even though he had a near full plate sitting in front of him.

“Smarty pants.” You looked at Jisung, sticking your tongue out at him. “I’ve been really busy with Potions so I haven’t started yet. How about you?” 

“I haven’t even started either. I’ve been trying to memorize these spells for Charms but I can never find the time to practice them.” Luna launched forward, nose fitting perfectly in the middle of the textbook, a loud sigh escaping her.

“Well, we can study together more often if you want?” You offered, watching Luna lift her head up quickly. You feared for her neck when she did that. 

The three of you would study together in a small group, sometimes recruiting other people and friends from other houses, but with the ‘big tests’ coming up, maybe studying together more often could help more than hurt. Although you did like studying alone more, it was definitely more beneficial to study in a group. It also offered as an occasional distraction when the stress got to be too high.

“Oh my god really? That sounds awesome. You’re the best.” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes while her hands rested in her lap. Through the years of knowing her and being her roommate for one of them, you knew Luna would occasionally meditate to ground herself. She was quite the quirky person, as most Ravenclaws were, but Luna took it to the next level. It wasn’t a bad thing, in fact it made her infinitely more interesting to talk to. 

Her hair was what first drew you to her, it was a coral blue, but when she turned around for the first time you saw glimpses of reds and purples. When you asked her, she said it was an invention her father came up with, color changing hair dye. At that point you knew you had to be her friend.

A comfortable silence fell over the three of you as you continued to eat. Luckily you had friends that felt like silence was as good of communication as talking was. Well, Jisung was quite the jabberjaw, but he always knew when to stop and when to let the room descend into quiet.

If only the rest of the room could have stayed quiet.

Two tables down a loud crash caught everyone's attention. The silence you had wished for just a second ago granted to you. Your eyes fell on a wide eyed boy, his pink hair weighed down from liquid that had been poured on him. By whom? Like everyone else you looked next to him to see another wide eyed boy, this one with dark hair and seemingly older yet you weren’t quite sure.

“Oh shit.” The black haired one said, his wand quickly being tucked back into his red and black robe but it was definitely too late for trying to conceal anything with hundreds of eyes locked onto them. 

Behind the boys came Professor McGonagall, the Head of the Gryffindors, although it was less of a walking over and more of an appearance from thin air. Her glasses rested on the tip of her nose as she looked down at the two cowering boys in front of her.

“Mr. Bang, what is it do you think you’re doing?” Neither of the two turned around, their eyes closed and noses scrunched. Eventually the older looking one turned around, his hands lightly trembling. If Gryffindors had anything to be afraid of, it was Potions class and McGonagall.

“I’m so sorry Professor. I was just practicing my Wingardium Leviosa spell for OWLs.” He reached next to him and patted the pink boy’s head, shooting him an apologetic look when the younger scowled at him. “I tried to levitate my goblet but I must have gotten distracted and it fell.”

You felt Jisung lean towards you, “I call bullshit, the water would have flown everywhere, why just on that poor boy’s head?” Of course Jisung would be the one to use the logical part of his brain to call someone out. 

“You’re definitely a Ravenclaw, aren't you?” You chuckled, nodding at his statement. “As much as I hate to say it, you're right. It was obviously a prank or something.”

“And Mr. Yang,” McGonagall directed her attention to the pink haired boy. One of her hands rested on her hip, “you’re obviously not studying for OWLs, how did you get into this predicament?”

The two boys looked between each other then back at McGonagall. The older one, Mr. Bang, nudged the other with his elbow. At this point they both looked around and noticed the silence in the room, only causing their already pink faces to go full on cherry red.

“Uhh.” The younger one hesitated with his answer. Small droplets of water dripped from the tips of his pink hair. It wasn’t a bright pink, more of a faded bubblegum pink. Whether it was the aftermath of a spell or he chose to do that you weren’t sure but he looked cute. “I was just sitting next to Chan while he was practicing. I’m sorry.”

She nodded before pulling out her wand. With a flick of her wrist and an inaudible mumble of what could only be assumed as a spell, his pink hair flew up, strands flying everywhere before eventually settling back down. Everyone in the Great Hall gasped as they saw his hair was completely dry now. Even the recipient of the spell was surprised, his eyes crossed as he tried to take a look at the hair covering his forehead, mouth gaping open.

“Woah.” The other one, Chan, you could assume, inhaled and lifted his hand up to touch the other’s hair. “How did you do that?” He looked towards McGonagall, all fear and embarrassment gone in favor of wanting to know the spell.

“Maybe I’ll let you know when you pass your OWLs. For now, minus 20 points to Gryffindor.” Her voice conveyed disappointment as she turned around and seemed to glide back up to the big table at the front of the room. 

Once she finished talking a murmur fell among the students. Each table went back to their own devices, studying, eating and gossiping as usual. You continued to eat, your plate slowly dissipating into empty as you listened to the noise around you. Although you couldn’t hear any specific conversation you were content in the atmosphere around you. Noise wasn't always the worst, but more often than not it felt like a million bee buzzing in your head so you tended to lean towards the silent route.

“Oh my god.” As if snapping you out of your thoughts, Jisung nudged you accidentally, pushing his plate away and patting his stomach through his robe. “That was so good I can feel my brain waves flowing.”

“You know sometimes I just have no idea what the fuck you’re saying.” You eyed him, pushing your plate away as well and shaking your head. If you were given a dollar for every time Jisung said something weird you would have been a billionaire in first-year. 

“You don't know how many people have said that to me.” Jisung laughed, the same loud laugh that he always does. A lot of people would make fun of him for having such an animated laugh, yet you never found it annoying. It was like sneezing, when Jisung would laugh you would start to laugh as well. Once he finished laughing, he leaned his head on one of his hands, “anyways, do you have any plans for break?”

“I think I’m gonna stay here, I already told my parents I wanted to study for OWLs and not be distracted.” You paused when you saw students start to get up, signaling it was time for class. “Besides, our family wasn’t one for holidays so I would rather stay here and do something productive instead of just lay around for three weeks.”

Both of you stood up, following the students as they started meandering and finding their way towards their classes. Luckily you shared the first class with Jisung so you just followed him through the crowd, hand clutching a bundle of his robe so you didn't lose him.

The walk to class wasn’t long, and as you two sat down you both took out your books and quills, getting ready for another grueling day of mixing and hoping you don't blow that part of the castle off. Class hadn’t started yet but Jisung looked around at the other students, checking to make sure no one was listening in before leaning closer to you.

“I heard another student is also staying for break, some Hufflepuff.” Jisung said quietly, messing with the vials of liquids out in front of him.

“First of all,” You smacked his hand away from the ingredients for the day’s potion, “don’t fuck with the ingredients, you don't want to end up like that first-year.” Jisung pouted but let you continue, his hands now resting on his book. “Second of all, I’m focusing on my studying, hopefully they stay away and in their own space.”

You knew you sounded harsh, but you also knew that OWLs were the most important exams and you needed to pass them, though preferably not just pass but get high marks. Obviously if you ran into this Hufflepuff you would be polite, but ultimately that was your time to study. Besides, you didn't even know who this other person was. Maybe they were an asshole, then it would be infinitely easier to ignore them.

“I heard he was also a fifth-year. He.” Jisung emphasized it again, elbowing you into the side. “You guys could study together.” When he raised his eyebrows and wiggled in his seat you resorted to pushing Jisung over, laughing but also shooting him an evil eye. “You know when you do that look you just look like a puppy. Totally not intimidated at all.”

“I could push you over again.” You threatened, watching as more people started to file in before class started. “And I definitely do not want you to be my wingman again, I still have nightmares of last time.” Shuddering, you pushed the memory of the Yule Ball to the back of your head.

Jisung looked like he was going to combat your blow to his ability to wingman but before he could, Professor Slughorn strode through the door. All the students fell silent at his entrance, hands folded in front of their books, eyes scanning the liquids and cauldron in front of them.

As you listened to Slughorn drone on, picking up vials and mixing them into the cauldron, you felt a finger poke your elbow. Looking down you saw a piece of paper sitting between you and Jisung. When you looked up at him he was focusing on the front of the room but his mouth was quirked into a smirk that you knew meant that was a note from him. You grabbed it, opening it quickly and trying to read the messy scribbles from Jisung’s quill. When you finally did read it you shook your head, elbowing your best friend, crumbling the paper and putting it in your robe pocket.

“You never know what might happen ;)” - Your favorite wingman.

ii.

“I can’t believe we leave tomorrow.” Jisung’s cheek was pressed against the Herbology book, the page sticking to his skin. The steam from his hot chocolate floated into the air of the library. The pages beneath his face had some important text on whatever plant you were just learning about (if you're honest, you barely remember the name of the damn flower).

“You’ll be okay, Sung.” You reached across the table and patted his head. His hair was soft as always. When you first met him you were sure he used some sort of magic shampoo and conditioner or found a spell to make his hair that smooth but after being friends for 5 years you learned it was just ‘great genes’ as he had put it.

“It’s only for three weeks. Besides we can send each other letters.” Luna rested her hand over yours.

The three of you had been studying for nearly four hours. Having the day off was both a blessing and a curse, no classes but more time to cram studying in. The library was packed with students, all of the seats and window sills filled with bodies and books. Despite having so many students in one space it was quiet, no one wanting to upset the librarian fairies that flew through the bookcases and sought out anyone not following the rules.

“But it’s not the same.” Jisung drew out the last syllable. “I want to annoy you guys in real life not just letters.”

“Trust me you’ll find a way.” A chuckle escaped you when Jisung rolled his eyes, lifting his head and a pout prominent on his face. 

“I guess it’ll be okay.” He looked down at the textbook, fingers quickly skimming over the page before he looked up, an alarming smile on his face. “Oh! Speaking of break,” He leaned closer to you. “I know who is staying here with you.” Jisung winked at you and if you didn’t know that the fairies would kick you out of the library you would have reached around and smacked him in the back of the head.

There was a moment of silence as Jisung waited for you to ask him who it was, and you desperately tried to hold back. You set your mouth in a thin line and shook your head. Yet, your curiosity dug through your brain and got caught in your throat. You knew if you opened your mouth those words would slip through. 

So you did.

“Who is it?” You sighed, waiting for the answer. Truthfully, there wasn't anyone that you didn't want it to be but the answer still shocked you.

“Seo Changbin! The Herbology nerd.” Jisung nearly shouted, and it took you and Luna to tell him to quiet down.

You had known about Seo Changbin, seen him around the castle and in the library and although you didn’t know anything about him besides the fact that he was a Hufflepuff and really good with plants, you did know that he was damn cute.

“Ooh! He’s cute!” Luna squealed, mirroring your thoughts. She bounced in her seat and patted you on the arm. “You guys should study together!”

As much as you would like to entertain that idea, you knew you would have to focus on studying alone. Sure, you could study with Luna and Jisung but that was different, they knew what methods worked and what didn’t. Their humor fit yours and having someone else come in, someone incredibly attractive and cute, would be infinitely more distracting than Jisung’s dick jokes and Luna’s tangents.

“I would rather stay in the solitude of our Common Room.” You noticed the frowns on their faces, so you decided to entertain them and hopefully get them off your back. “But, you never know what could happen, maybe he could help me with my Herbology troubles.”

“You can’t study Herbology without us!” Jisung pouted again, looking down at the book and looking back up at you. You found his pouting funny so you nodded, chuckling when he firmly nodded his head back. “Good. Now let’s please get at least this chapter done before my brain melts.”

iii.

It wasn’t long until you were sitting with Jisung and Luna for the last breakfast before everyone left for break. It was eerily quiet in the whole room, but you didn’t mind it, instead you just ate in silence, enjoying the presence of your friends around you before you couldn’t see them for three weeks.

You smiled when students from other houses were allowed to sit together and you found Seungmin walking over from the Hufflepuff table. He took the empty seat next to Luna, but not before nearly tripping and spilling all his food over the dark blue tablecloths that represented your house.

“Careful dude, I am not sitting next to you if you reek like eggs.” Jisung said with a full mouth, a laugh nearly sending his breakfast flying.

“You’re telling me to be careful yet you're the one talking with a mouth full of food.” Seungmin’s eyebrows raised. Jisung looked like he was going to argue back but decided against it. As soft as Seungmin looked, he was not afraid to stand up for himself (or anyone else, for that matter.) 

“Both of you should be careful. If one of you spills on me and I have to take another shower I’m sending you a howler for Christmas.” You threatened, looking up at them through your lashes as you ate all you could.

Jisung stood up, arms raised in surrender and it took you yanking on his robe sleeve for him to sit down. “Okay,” He said a little too loudly, causing a few Slytherins to shoot you looks. “I surrender to you, your majesty.” You smacked his arm but laughed along with everyone else.

You stopped laughing before the rest of your friends did so you looked around at them, letting out a breath you didn’t know you had held onto. It was nice to laugh as loud as you wanted to and feel just that little bit of relief from stress before you were left alone to study until your brain turned to mush. 

For the past few weeks you had convinced yourself you would be okay alone and that was definitely true to some extent, you loved to be alone and be left to study or read or learn new spells that might come in handy. You had even taken to learning the hair drying spell McGonagall used and that cut getting ready in half. As much as you loved to be alone you knew that you would have to distract yourself somewhat to not think about your friends and how much you would be missing them.

If anything, you knew you could sneak into Hogsmeade or take a stroll up to the Astronomy Tower or the Owlery and send a letter to your friends but you knew that a part of you would still miss them.

Your thoughts were cut off by Jisung tapping you on the head, his face coming into view as you spaced out looking at one of the illuminated lanterns on the wall above the Gryffindor table.

“Hello? Earth to Y/N? Anyone in there?” When you looked down you realized your friends were all staring at you. Jisung’s finger was still tapping on your head and you shook him off.

“Of course I’m here, just thinking about my schedule of studying.” It wasn’t a lie, you had made a calendar of subjects you would study every day with breaks to spend in the Astronomy Tower to calm you down.

“You’re gonna miss us aren’t you?” Luna asked, chewing on the rest of her food before snapping and watching as it disappeared to the dishwasher. She was always the straightforward one of the group, and that was saying something because mister honesty sat directly next to you.

“I’m definitely going to miss you Luna.” You nodded then gestured towards Seungmin and Jisung. “These two, though, I’m glad I’m gonna get some peace and quiet.”

“Hey!” They both said simultaneously.

“You know I’m kidding. Of course I'll miss you all like fucking crazy but like you said, we can send letters and I am happy I get extra time to study for OWLs.” You knew it was stupid to lie to them so you told the truth.

Everyone nodded before they went back to eating. It didn’t take long before everyone was finished, your plates gone and bellies full. After a long speech by the Headmaster students started getting up, some saying bye to friends and leaving and others just sitting and waiting for their ride to arrive.

“So,” Seungmin leaned forward on his elbows. “I heard that Changbin was also staying behind. He’s a sweet guy, always studying as well. He’s a few doors down from mine in the dorm and I hear him singing all the time. He’s damn good.” Jisung and Luna chuckled, wiggling their eyebrows at you.

“He sounds like a cool dude, maybe we could be friends after OWLs.” You held up your book. There was a moment of silence and you spoke up again. Before you could stop yourself your curiosity got the better of you. “Do you know why he’s staying back?” 

“No idea, sorry.” Seungmin said. He looked up front before jumping up and grabbing his suitcase in a haste. “Oh shit my ride is here, I gotta go. Bye guys, have fun!”

You three said your goodbyes to the back of Seungmin’s head, watching his yellow scarf fly in the wind as he squeezed past everyone, muttering “excuse me”s and “sorry”s to anyone he bumped into. As soon as he was gone you turned back to Luna and Jisung, eyeing them as they skimmed through their books. Everyone was cramming before leaving for home, having three weeks at home without the pressure of studying was a godsend to most but some preferred taking their books with them to study while at home.

Although they were Ravenclaws, Jisung and Luna definitely did not share that sentiment. They much preferred to abandon all notion of studying in favor of taking a break. “Studying is important but there was only so much you can do before your brain explodes.” Professor Flitwick had said one day when he met with all of your house.

“So,” Jisung started and you held your breath, knowing something was coming. “Just friends?” He smirked and before you could shoot him down he continued. “All I’m saying is learning and studying is important, I wouldn’t be a Ravenclaw if I didn’t think so, but it’s also important to have a little fun here and there. You’ll have a lot of time and I know you’re not just going to spend it studying or in the Astronomy Tower.”

Shooting him a look you shrugged, he was right and you knew it but you would be dipped in Hell before admitting it to the boy in front of you. There would definitely be a lot of down time considering it was just you in the whole castle (and Changbin but you chose to ignore that thought). 

“Chill out horndog.” Jisung chuckled at your attempt at an insult, patting you on the head. “If I did hang out with Changbin it definitely would be as just friends, no matter how cute he is.”

Jisung’s face moved and his mouth twisted, him mouthing a ‘I can't hear you’ which you knew wasn't true, Jisung acted like he wasn’t listening but his ears were as good as an owl’s. He heard anything and everything in a mile radius and could repeat it back to anyone in a heartbeat. So you were sure he heard you.

“Oh look!” Jisung jumped up, picking up his suitcase and cage with his owl Albert before looking back. “My ride’s here, hope you have fun with Mr. Dreamy Puff, you better spill all the juice when I get back.” 

“There will be no juice to spill but sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. Have fun!” You yelled after Jisung. He waved behind him, body weaving through everyone and you swore you saw him almost take out a group of first-years on his way to the front of the castle.

“He’s gonna bowl someone over one day.” Luna shook her head, looking back to you. There was a quick silence before she spoke again “I’m not gonna pester you about Changbin, just remember to have fun as well as study. You have the castle pretty much all to yourself, enjoy it.” 

You nodded, thankful you had Luna to not drive you completely insane like the two boys. After her statement you two sat in silence, occasionally chatting about Herbology or the latest Potions mishap. Around you students hurried to the front, the occasional pile up happening when a student tripped or knocked someone over.

Eventually you looked up from your book, foregoing studying for the moment and instead enjoying the noise and presence of everyone in the room. As time went on students filed out, the big suitcases and cages full of animals that lined the walls slowly dissipating until only a handful were left.

“My ride is here.” Luna quickly packed her book in her suitcase, zipping everything up and standing.

You pulled her into a hug, smelling the peppermint shampoo that changed scents based on the season (it was her favorite buy from Hogsmeade). The smell was pungent, like drinking butterbeer after chewing gum, but it was a smell that you knew you would miss. 

“Relax a little, okay? Don’t stress about OWLs until after you get back.” You joked with her, knowing she would have fun with her unconventional family.

“I could say the same for you.” Luna tightened her scarf around her neck, the tip of her nose already red from the cold air bellowing in from the doors. “I’ll send letters, Scarlett has no problem flying to the castle.” Her owl stirred in its cage, the white feathers standing out against the bronze bars.

“Of course, I’ll send letters too, though it’ll probably just be me ranting about how many potions we have to memorize and me worrying I'll burn my eyebrows off doing it wrong.” You both laughed. “Now go! I don’t want you to miss the ride to the train.”

“Okay, okay. I’m going!” Luna darted away, screaming a final, “goodbye!” before disappearing into the white snow.

“Bye!” You shouted even though you knew she couldn’t hear you.

There were only three other students in the Great Hall waiting for the last train home. The high windows cast a shadow on your side of the room, the sun going down and the light bending. You weren’t sure if Changbin was there, there were two boys sitting at the Hufflepuff table yet having not seen the Changbin’s face, you had no indication that he was anywhere to be seen.

It wasn’t like you were looking for him or anything.

After looking up and down the table you noticed you were the only Ravenclaw left, even the seventh-year prefect Woojin was gone, having been one of the last ones to leave and help the first-years to the train. It all looked so empty sitting there, so you decided to call it a night and start the three week break in the morning.

You didn’t bother looking at anyone as you walked past, fingers playing with the pages in your Charms book as you made your way to the Ravenclaw Common Room. 

Once you were inside, having solved the riddle lock many times before and answering immediately, you looked around and sighed. You decided not to think about how empty it was, instead focusing on walking up the stairs to your room. Although your bed was soft, you looked over and saw Luna’s empty one, a small pang echoing in your chest.

“I just need some sleep.” You muttered to no one but yourself. “I’ll feel better in the morning.” Turning over, you faced the window. The snow cascaded down so hard it almost looked like rain. It was calming, along with the mix of cold and warm from the fireplace in the Common Room.

You knew the first night alone would be hard but the particular lack of a human presence anywhere near you was the most difficult thing. At night if you couldn't sleep you would find yourself talking out loud and eventually Luna would respond to you. That time, however, she wasn’t there to respond.

The first night is the worst, you thought to yourself, twisting under the comforter and trying to find a comfortable position. Just get through the first night and you’ll be okay.

Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes, reviewing different charms and spells that you had learned through the week. It was a nice distraction, and you felt yourself drift off with the sound of the wind in the background.

iv.

The start of the third day you woke up with a massive headache.

The previous two days had been spent in the Common Room, a big blue and bronze quilt draped over your figure as you stayed curled up on one of the large couches. The fireplace remained warm and inviting and you found yourself content in reading about Transfiguration and the history of magic for the first two days.

Starting the third day with a pain almost as bad as hearing the screaming of a Mandrake was definitely not how you wanted it to start, but there you were.

“Oh, fuck.” Your hand stayed on your head as you sat up, temples thumping with a rush of blood. The light from your lamp burned as you opened your eyes, forcing you to squint. 

It’s not like you hadn’t gotten enough sleep, in fact, one could argue you got too much. There were often times you sat in the large chair, book in your lap, that you found yourself dozing off, time disappearing into dust in an hourglass. You were only focused on the words in front of you and the sense of dusk outside that forced you to trudge up the stairs and finally sleep in your bed.

The rumbling of your stomach made you stand up, slipping into your robe and fixing your bed head. The time on the clock indicating it was breakfast time so you slowly trudged down towards the Great Hall, the paintings whispering as you walked by. 

As soon as you walked through the large open doors you stopped in your tracks. The Great Hall had transformed. In the middle of the room was the giant Christmas tree, lights twinkling like stars and bulbs filled with full snow scenes glittering across the branches. At the very top stood a fairy, twirling on her toe like a ballerina.

On the edge of the room right next to the fireplaces were small tables, sets of chairs set up for anyone to rest in. All of the chairs were empty except one.

Seo Changbin. 

His back was to the door, not noticing you walked in. Wanting to stay out of his eyesight, you quickly shuffled to a table as far away as possible, wincing when you pulled the chair out and a loud noise echoed through the large room. When Changbin didn’t look back you let out a breath of relief.

Your plate appeared in front of you, with all the food the castle had to offer for breakfast. Again your stomach reminded you of exactly what you came there for. You ate in silence, the past two days of living on a small dinner you would sneak down to the Great Hall to get and the few snacks you hadn’t eaten from your last outing at Hogsmeade.

As you ate your eyes wandered, settling on the only other person in the room, and you were surprised to find his eyes staring back at you. Immediately you lowered your head, playing with the egg on your plate. All the food was nearly gone and after not eating much you found your stomach was definitely full.

You were about to wave your wand to send your plate to the dishwashers when the feeling you were being watched washed over you. Pausing, you assessed your options. You took the easy way out, looking up and coming face to face with none other than Seo Changbin.

You never had enough time to actually look at him, only recognizing his name from first-year when you were sorted into your houses and being called in some classes. Now that he was standing in front of you, you noticed how handsome he was.

He had two yellow and black scarves wrapped tightly around his neck, his robe held close to his body. His cheeks and nose were a soft rosy color, as if he had fallen asleep face first on a pillow. Dark hair framed his face, red highlights reflecting in the light of the candles. His eyes were bright despite their dark color, lips curled into a slight smile and you felt a warmth different from the warmth of the candles in the room.

“Hi.” His voice was light, barely leaving his lips in a wisp of condensation from his hot breath.

“Hi.” You responded, a smile making its way onto your face.

There was a moment of silence and you realized that Changbin’s hands were resting on the back of the chair in front of you, the sound of his nails tapping onto the wood the only noise. It echoed through the room loudly. Or you just thought it was loud, the silence heightening everything around you.

“Can I sit here?” Changbin asked, pointing to the chair across from you. When you nodded Changbin smiled wider, slowly pulling out his chair and sitting down. As opposed to almost all other Hufflepuffs you’ve known, he stayed silent upon looking back up at you. Normally you would feel uncomfortable under someone’s stare, but you found yourself entranced with the way his eyes shone in the candlelight.

“So,” you broke the silence, “I see you’re also staying here for break.” Great, just the state the obvious. You thought to yourself. Looking down you noticed your plate still there, quickly taking out your wand from your robe and mumbling the spell, watching as it disappeared from in front of you.

“Yea, yea I am.” Changbin paused for a moment, softly hitting his temple with his fist. “Oh shit, I forgot to introduce myself, you probably think I’m weird. My name’s Seo Changbin, Hufflepuff, fifth-year.” He stuck out his hand and you chuckled at his adorable expression, like he was mentally hitting himself.

“I’m Y/N, Ravenclaw, fifth-year as well.” You reached out, his hand was warm and fit well in your own. The handshake was done way too fast, you noticed, trying not to let a pout show itself. 

It was then that you realize you had quite literally rolled out of bed earlier, rubbing a hand over your face and smoothing down your hair with your other. “I just woke up, I probably look so bad right now.” You laughed.

“I think you look cute.” Changbin mumbled, shrugging his head and looking down at his hands. Before you could reply - quite possibly with a you too - he looked back up at you. “I just woke up as well, I was up all last night studying for OWLs and I was so hungry I figured I should probably have breakfast.” 

“Are you nervous for the exams?” You were intrigued about whether or not everyone else was as scared about OWLs as you and your friends were. Just from the tidbits Jisung heard around the castle, Gryffindors were leisurely studying, Slytherins were nowhere to be seen in the library, probably studying in their Common Room, and most Hufflepuffs were in their own little study groups, determined on studying almost as much as Ravenclaws were.

“I definitely am. I think most of us are, we all have one or two subjects we are the most scared for.” You nodded along to his words, watching the way his fingers tapped on the table. 

“What subjects are the hardest for you?” You asked.

“Charms for sure. This dumb thing,” he pulled out his wand from his robe, “refuses to listen to me sometimes.”

His wand was very pretty, you noted. Dark wood with specs of gold glittered throughout it. A lighter brown wood flashed from beneath his fingers and you saw a soft glow from the tip as he waved it around. When he put it back in his robe you trailed your eyes back up to his face, a lopsided grin stuck on it.

“How about you? Surely you don’t have anything you’re too worried about, you’re top of our class.” Changbin leaned forward, shoulders no longer slouched in an uncomfortable position. It surprised you that he knew who you were, yet a smile involuntary made its way onto your face. 

You shrugged, not wanting to admit that your worst subject was one that his house should be the best at. “I’m not top of the class.” When Changbin raised his eyebrows you chuckled. “Okay, okay, top five, but I’m not first!”  He raised his hands up in defeat, a louder laugh echoing from the both of you. From the top of the Christmas tree the fairy chuckled as well.

“You’re avoiding my question.” Changbin smirked, crossing his arms in a playful manner.

“You’re really observant.” At this point you weren’t avoiding his question because of embarrassment, it was actually quite fun to mess around with someone other than Jisung. 

“You do know I’m a Hufflepuff? There’s no way in hell I’m going to let you off the hook.” 

You sighed dramatically, throwing yourself onto the table and smiling at the table upon hearing Changbin’s laugh. Actually, it was more of a giggle than a laugh. But either way it was really cute and you were sure you wanted to hear it more often.

“Herbology.” You mumbled into the table. When a sound of confusion came from the boy across from you, you spoke up. “Herbology!”

There was silence, and when you looked up you almost had the wind knocked out of you. Changbin was smiling, an extremely big smile that made his eyes disappear and his nose scrunch up. You’re friends had told you he was cute but he blew past that statement. He was more than just cute, he was like ultra cute with a big side of extremely handsome.

You were too busy admiring Changbin that you missed what he said, your face heating up when you had to ask. “What?”

“I said,” He chuckled again, arms unfolding and resting back onto the table. “I’m quite good at Herbology, one of the top in the class, in fact.” Although he said that, it wasn’t in a bragging tone, more of a proud hint to his voice. “I can help you if you want?”

The reminder of the loneliness you would be going back to if you said no creeped into your mind. Paired with a small warmth that spread through you when Changbin smiled prompted you to nod. 

“Sure. I definitely need it.” You chuckled, completely forgetting about the deal you made with Jisung. 

Above you the fairy on the Christmas tree squealed. “Ah, young love!” She screamed, her shrill voice echoing through the large room and piercing your ears. As she said that you're whole body felt warm, but not the warmth that previously came and went. Looking at Changbin you found his face turned towards the floor, his cheeks dusted once again with pink and the corners of his lips pulled into a small smile.

“So what were you planning on doing today?” Changbin asked, the tint in his cheeks slowly fading. Perhaps you were letting your loneliness guide you, but you found yourself drawn into Changbin and his soft smile and pretty laugh. That or you had been slipped a love potion in your breakfast. Or Changbin was just that alluring. 

It was probably the last one.

“Just studying.” You shrugged, not having anything special except digging your face in a book. “That’s why I stayed here for break. That and the fact that all my relatives in one house together isn’t the best thing to go home to.” 

“I get it, family is complicated.” Changbin nodded. “Do you wanna maybe study together? You know that saying, two heads are better than one.”

“Yea, I think that would be leagues better than staying cooped up in my Common Room. I can only take so many taunts from the paintings outside for not coming out all day.” You rolled your eyes, reminded of the annoying voices that were seemingly like a loudspeaker in the Common Room. How their voices carried through the walls like that, you had no clue, but you wished that they had built the castle more soundproof.

“Oh don’t remind me.” Changbin groaned. “I get a lot of shit from our paintings as well. So annoying.”

“So do you want to go to the library?” You asked, getting up from your spot at the table. “Oh wait, I need to stop by my Common Room to get my scarf, it’s only going to get colder as the day goes on.” There were plenty of books in the library to study from, not needing your assigned textbooks just yet. You definitely didn’t, however, want to die from hypothermia. 

Changbin stood up as well, hand tousling the messy hair at the back of his head. “Do you wanna use my extra scarf?” His other hand played with the edges of the extra fabric around his neck. “I mean, as long as you don’t mind wearing another house’s colors.”

“Oh,” You said, surprised. “I don’t mind, but won’t you be cold?”

“I’ll be fine, it’s actually kinda hot in here so I was going to take it off anyways.” Changbin’s face was flushed, teeth pulling at his bottom lip. 

“Okay then, thank you.” You smiled, watching him quickly unravel the yellow fabric and hold it out for you. When you grabbed it you noticed how warm it was, like it had been sitting in front of a heater for an hour. You didn’t mind though, wrapping it around your neck and nearly nuzzling into it. There was a delicate smell to it, like laundry soap that had just started to fade and you wondered if this is how Changbin smelled in general.

Stop it, you thought to yourself, just friends. Focus on OWLs. Your fingers played with the edge of the scarf. It was then that you noticed Changbin staring at you, waiting for you to do something, and you realized you had just been standing there playing with the loose strings of the accessory. 

“So,” You flipped the scarf over your shoulder, striking an overdramatic pose. “How do I look?” The warmth came back when Changbin laughed, and you fought to smother it into ashes.

“Hm, I think you look fabulous, a natural Hufflepuff.” You smacked his shoulder. “Hey! That was the highest compliment I could have given you.” Loud laughter echoed through the Great Hall again, and you were sure the unicorns and other animals in the Forbidden Forest could have heard it from over there.

“Okay let’s go before you think up any other ‘compliments’ for me.” You gestured towards the library. It was only two floors up so luckily it wasn’t that far of a walk, but you still wanted to get it over with so you could relax in the soft chairs up above.

“You say that like I don’t already have a whole catalogue loaded into my brain.” Changbin turned towards the big doors, looking up in the general direction of the library. “I’ll race you?”

Upon hearing that you got into what you could only assume was a good enough stance for getting ready to run. “Okay.” You said, crouching down even more and looking towards your right at Changbin. “1, 2, 3, go!”

With that, you took off, laughing at the faded yelling of Changbin following behind you. Everything turned into a blur, yellow streaks from your (Changbin’s) scarf and the words being screamed at you from the paintings quickly passing by faded until you didn’t care about anything. It was freeing, being able to run through the halls and not worry about losing points (though you did think about the paintings ratting you out to the professors when they came back).

As soon as you had passed through the door to the library you stopped in your tracks, hands resting on your knees and breath coming out in small gasps. It wasn’t everyday you ran as fast as you did, in fact, the last time you did run that fast you were being chased by a small troll through the Forbidden Forest.

You took your time walking to one of the plush chairs surrounding a huge table, plopping down on it unceremoniously. Yeah, you had won the race, but had you really won the race? 

Within a few seconds of sitting down Changbin came bounding through the door frame, chest pumping with every labored breath he took. He followed the same path as you, starting with his hands on his knees and then slowly shuffling towards a chair. Unlike you, he nearly collapsed before reaching the chair, fortunately he barely made it, a loud thud echoing through the library when he fell into it.

“Holy,” He took a breath and let it out, “shit.” Changbin laid back in the chair, hands clasped in front of his stomach. “You’re so,” Another breath, “fucking fast.”

“I knew a shortcut.” You tried to laugh but all that came out was a puff of air, lungs still working overtime to provide you oxygen.

“Damn Ravenclaws.” Changbin mumbled, his breath still escaping in short puffs.

You both took a few minutes to calm down, your backs resting comfortably on the plush cushions. You felt your breath even out, a small bead of sweat falling from your hairline. The smell of old books filled your nostrils, small fibers from the scarf coming up to tickle your nose. Although you had just run until you felt like your lungs would pop, you felt relaxed.

Snow fell softly outside, cascading past the windows of the library and making everything feel like a winter wonderland even from the comfort of the heat filled castle. There was a sense of urgency to study, what with so little time until OWLs, yet as you sat there, you also felt comfort wash over you. You still had a month and a half, there was time.

“We should start studying now.” Changbin said, his voice still holding an airiness to it. Despite him saying that, neither of you moved, feet staying planted on the plush carpet. Neither of you bothered to even sit up, backs being scrunched up slightly from slouching.

A few more minutes passed by, your fingers stroking the soft chair and head turned to watch the snow falling outside. You desperately wanted to grab a thick coat and just lie in the snow for a few hours. Or a few days. Or a few weeks. However long it took for your mind to stop worrying about OWLs.

“Penny for your thoughts?” His soft voice pierced the silence, and you tore your eyes away from the winter wonderland outside to look at Changbin. His hair was cut perfectly, some strands wavy and messy while others completely straight. His eyes were completely calm, just observing you and you felt more exposed than if you were just given a truth serum.

“Just thinking about the snow and OWLs.” You rested your cheek on your shoulder (well, the thick yellow scarf covering your shoulder) eyes closing for a moment of peace before opening them to Changbin’s gaze again. “You know, stressing about exams is my secret talent.” You continued, a near silent chuckle escaping you.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, you’re one of the smartest people in the castle, but a little extra studying won’t hurt.” Changbin sat up, a loud huff accompanied by a puff of air following his statement.

“Fine, fine.” You sat up as well, tightening Changbin’s scarf around your neck. There was a slight scent of pine needles and cinnamon, an unlikely combination but it made you immediately relax. “But don’t blame me if I start dozing off, your scarf is way more comfortable than any of mine.”

“If you want, you can keep it, I have Hufflepuff friends that took up knitting and can make me however many I want.” Changbin smiled and you declined to retort with, well they won’t smell like you. 

“I’ll think about it.” You looked around at the rows of books, debating silently what subject to start first. Of course, the logical thing would be to start on what you were the worst at, but sometimes you decided to ignore those thoughts in favor of working up to the worst. “So where should we start? History of magic?”

With Changbin’s nod you both set out a plan of gathering books, spreading them on the table and skimming through each one. Occasionally you would quiz one another, loud laughter erupting in the normally quiet space when one of you would mumble a funny answer to one of the questions. 

That continued until the sky started turning orange outside the windows, a deeper sense of fatigue settling over the both of you and reminding you both that sleep was an important part of studying. It was then that you both rose from your seats, uttering a soft goodbye with a warm handshake as you both went your separate ways to your Common Rooms.

It was also that night that you realized you hadn’t taken his scarf off.

v.

This pattern of eating breakfast in peace at the same table and racing to the library to study all day went on for a few more days until one morning you approached your normal table, plates of food already laid out. Changbin was already sat down, stuffing his cheeks with everything he could fit in there. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, sitting down in front of him and starting to eat. You noticed it was everything you always put on your plate, and your face heated up at the thought of Changbin paying that close of attention on you. Luckily you could hide any hint of the heat rising with the scarf - Changbin’s scarf - wrapped around your neck.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” His cheeks were still stuffed with food, words coming out slightly jumbled. “I figured today could be the day we get some good old hands-on practice!”

“Okay, I’m both confused and worried at the same time.” You started eating, the warmth from the food spreading through your body and instantly brightening you up from the bone chilling cold night before. 

You both ate in silence, Changbin finishing before you and spending his extra time looking at the Christmas tree. He had a small smile on his face, the lights from the ornaments dancing across his features. With the soft light from the tree illuminating you both, you sat staring at Changbin, who was quite literally glowing.

“Okay so what are we doing today?” You asked, sending your plate away once you had finished eating.

A sly grin made its way onto Changbin’s face and he leaned forward, hand resting underneath his chin. “It’s a surprise.”

“Oh, great. I love surprises.” You said sarcastically, yet a smile still popped up. As much as you tried to act upset or annoyed at not knowing, you couldn’t stop the warmth that filled you at having Changbin’s smile, albeit mischievous, directed at you.

Changbin stood up, extending his hand towards you. Confused, you stood up as well, putting your hand into his and feeling the warmth heat up when he interlaced your fingers. “Close your eyes.” The last thing you saw before darkness washed over you was the slight tint of pink on Changbin’s cheeks and the tilt of his lips up in a now genuine smile.

You inched forward slowly, Changbin’s hand firmly secured in your own so you didn’t accidentally walk into a wall or something. “Just trust me.” Changbin’s voice came from directly next to you and he squeezed your hand softly. You chose not to reply, just squeezing his hand back and waiting as he started picking up the pace.

When you finally started walking normally you focused your other senses, listening to the pictures mumble things about people in the castle over break, to which Changbin firmly shushed them. His hand was warm, palm moist with a thin layer of sweat. Whether it was from your hand in his or the warmth of the fireplaces providing heat you didn’t know. 

From what you knew of the placement of the paintings, you were headed in the opposite direction of the library. As you already guessed, you knew that you weren’t going there, yet the curiosity still ate you up inside. 

All of a sudden Changbin stopped and you almost ran into him, a sound of surprise coming from your lips. The feeling of his eyes on you even though you couldn’t see him made you impatient. You tapped your shoe on the ground, trying to fill the silence with some sort of noise. 

“Okay you can open your eyes.” Changbin said, slowly disconnecting your hands and you had to fight to keep the frown off your face.

Opening your eyes you found you were stood in front of the door to the Herbology room, the full glass wall showing the rows and rows of plants all laid out. The thought of actually handling them while the professor wasn’t there was worrying, and you looked towards a smiling Changbin with raised eyebrows.

“So we’re going to be messing with the plants? Without the professor?” Your voice raised slightly in worry.

“Well, yeah. Why else would I bring you here?” The smile on Changbin’s face comforted you, yet you still had the thought of not being allowed in there. “I know what you’re thinking,” Changbin continued on when he noticed you not answering, “Professor Longbottom asked me to stay behind during break to tend to the plants. You could say I have a green thumb.” He gave a thumbs up and you chuckled.

“So I’m not gonna die of a mandrake’s scream or anything?” Changbin chuckled at your question. 

“Just trust me.” He said, opening up the door and gesturing for you to walk in. “I wouldn’t let you die, there’s no one else to pin it on if you do.” 

“Ha ha,” you faked a laugh, walking into the Herbology room. It was a completely glass room, and you could see the thick snow blanket on the ground outside. You had to admit it was a very beautiful sight, and you stood in awe. The rainbow of plants contrasting with the pitch white outside was picture perfect.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Changbin came up behind you, walking down to the opposite end of the room. From there, he picked up two pots, each with similar looking leaves and shapes. You were still mesmerized by the picturesque background to focus on anything that was happening in the warm room. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin asked, much closer. He was still holding the two pots of plants.

“It’s just, so beautiful.” You had seen snow plenty of times before, being at Hogwarts for five years and being there for the slow building cold months, but nothing compared to the sight you saw. The inches of snow coating the ground made everything look bright, even the dark leaves on the trees at the edge of the forest were stark white. It was like a winter wonderland you would only see on TV.

“Yea it is.” Changbin sat the pots down, turning around and leaning on the table. He faced the outside, a soft smile on his face as he watched the slow cascading of the snow. “I’ve been staying here for the past two years to take care of the plants and I’ll never get tired of how gorgeous this view is.” 

When you tore your eyes away from the outside you looked towards Changbin, your face becoming hot upon noticing he was staring at you. You smiled at him, turning around towards the plants on the table. “So what are these?” You asked. You recognized the colors and leaf shapes but you doubted you could dig deep in your brain to remember what their names and purposes were.

“Well,” Changbin turned around, gesturing to the plant on the left. “This one is wormwood. We’ve used it before in Potions class. It’s most commonly used for healing potions, but putting too much could result in extreme effects including death. Kinda ironic.”

You nodded along, watching the way Changbin softly petted the plant. It was almost as if he was communicating with them. His touch was gentle, the same sort of gentle as when he held your hand while leading you to the classroom.

“This one is very similar, both in looks and use. This is dittany.” He pointed to the other plant to his right. “It’s used for healing but doesn’t need to be mixed into a potion, just one leaf could heal a skin wound.” 

You again nodded at what he was saying, trying to distinguish between the two. It became easier as you observed them up close, closer than the professor would let anyone in class. Everything started clicking together and as you listened to Changbin go on and on about each and every plant in the room (besides the mandrakes, you already knew plenty from the extensive lesson in second-year) you started understanding just how to tell the difference between each and every plant. For so long you despised walking into Herbology class but the way Changbin described it made it seem so simple and even a little bit fun.

As he went on you helped him tend to the plants, listening to him naming and describing each one along the way. The way his eyes would light up upon looking at each different pot as he walked along made a smile appear on your face. He was so engulfed in talking that he didn’t notice you stop at the end of a row, watching as he was oblivious to everything happening around him.

When he finally noticed you weren't behind him he had reached the opposite end of the row, turning around and seeing you standing so far away at the other end of the room. He had stopped talking, fingers tapping on the wood table in front of him. His lip was pulled between his teeth, a hint of rose on his cheeks.

“Sorry, I get carried away with talking about the plants.” He shrugged, looking back up at you. 

“No it’s okay.” It was your turn to get embarrassed, even though moments ago you had kind of, not really, been staring at him unabashedly. “I’m learning so much better than if I was stuck in front of a textbook all day. Besides,” You started walking up the row slowly, recalling all the plant’s names in your head. You could remember some of them, and you thought that even a little progress was progress nonetheless. “I love listening to people talk about what they’re passionate about.”

“What are you passionate about?” Changbin asked.

You thought for a moment, your feet stopping in front of a lily flower. “Learning.” You started, “I’ve also really loved astronomy since I was a kid. It’s one of my best subjects.” 

“I’m not that great with astronomy. They’re so far away that I just end up not caring too much but the stars are pretty to look at.”

“I can help you with it one day if you want?” You asked as you started to walk forward again. Outside a strong wind whistled through the trees but you paid no mind, focusing instead on the pricks of the leaves of each plant you passed by. You made sure not to touch the poisonous ones, Changbin was a plant expert but he couldn’t stop the effects of any of the deadly plants.

There was silence as Changbin nodded, turning around to load the mister with water for the plants. By the time you made your way up to him he had finished, facing you again with the same pink cheeks and smile on his face. You pushed down the thought of leaning forward just a bit more, and instead pulled back, one of your hands going to stroke the leaves of a dittany plant. The room was a mix of scents, though the unmistaken rush of cinnamon from the scarf around your neck flushed everything else out. 

“I, uh, I think that's enough for the day.” Changbin was the first to break the silence, one hand playing with his sleeve while the other tapped on the table in front of him. “Those are all the ones Professor Longbottom said would be on the test, but don’t tell him I told you.”

“There’s no paintings in here to eavesdrop and rat us out so your secret’s safe with me.” You made a lock gesture over your mouth, lightly tossing the imaginary key over your shoulder. 

“Hm.” He put his hand on his chin, stroking an imaginary beard. “Okay, I guess I can trust you.”

“Well you've already told me so you’ve got no choice.” You laughed, noticing the sun starting to set outside. Long shadows made the glass room you were in seem much more eerie. “So, should we get going back to our rooms? It’s getting dark.”

Changbin leaned forward, the same damned smirk on his face and you didn’t know whether you wanted to slap it off or kiss it off. “Are you scared? I can protect you.” He raised his right arm, flexing it but with his thick robe in the way you couldn’t see any hint of muscle.

“If anyone is gonna need protecting it’s you,” You jabbed at his arm, laughing when he feigned hurt. “I’m the stronger one here.” You mimicked Changbin, holding up your right arm and flexing.

“Remind me never to meet you in an alley, I’m afraid I’ll get my ass beat.” Changbin held up his hands in defeat, eyebrows raised and a loud laugh coming from his mouth. When he lowered his arms his smile lowered as well. “It’s getting really dark though, do you want me to walk you back to your Common Room?” 

You were going to decline, but then you remembered what you said only moments ago. Perhaps tonight was the best night to help him in return. “Actually, I have a surprise for you.”

Another strong wind from outside rustled the branches of the trees. The sun had almost completely set, and you knew that was the perfect opportunity to go somewhere you had been missing out on since everyone left for break. 

“Oh? Okay, where are we going?” Changbin asked.

“It’s a surprise.” You smirked, leaning forward and grabbing his hand as he did to you earlier in the day. “Close your eyes.” 

You waited for Changbin to close his eyes, not before giving you a very suspicious look to which you raised your eyebrows. Once he did, you interlaced your fingers with his, taking notice on how sweaty they were. Deciding not to torture him too much, you started walking, taking special care not to bump him into any walls or anything. 

“You better not be leading me to the pools to push me in.” Changbin threatened from behind you, the hand that wasn’t grasped in yours covering his eyes. 

“I’m not that cruel.” You chuckled, almost wincing at how tight he was holding your hand. On the surface you could see no nervousness, but with the way his fingers twitched and the small scrunch of his nose you knew he was hesitant. “Just trust me, I trusted you right?” When Changbin made a small noise of agreement you continued. “Exactly, you’ll be fine.” 

A silence filled the castle as you continued walking, knowing it was only a few more minutes before you made it to your destination. A deep rumble came from behind you and before you could ask any questions the familiar notes of a Christmas song came flowing around you. You decided not to say anything, enjoying the soft sound of Changbin’s voice behind you drowning out the murmurs of the paintings you passed. 

By the time you got to the tower Changbin was humming the end of the Christmas song, his thumb tapping the rhythm into your hand. It was quite comforting to have his voice fill the silence, bouncing off the walls and seemingly echoing through the whole castle.

“Okay.” You stopped in front of the doors, giggling at how Changbin almost ran into you. “You can open your eyes now.” 

Changbin took his hand off his face, eyes opening and immediately finding yours before searching around. His mouth dropped open when he saw the intricate carvings on the door in front of you.

“As payment for you helping me with Herbology I decided to help you with Astronomy.” You released his hand, a cold air rushing in and reminding you how empty it was.

“Aren’t we gonna get in trouble if we’re in there?” Changbin asked, the hand that was previously in yours fall to his side, palm slowly rubbing on his robe.

“Professor Sinistra lets me up here all the time.” You proceeded forward, holding open the door and waiting for him to follow. “I go up here at least twice a week, you’ll be fine, I promise.” 

Changbin didn’t say anything as he followed, the only sounds being your feet on the steps going up to the top of the tower. You had climbed these steps hundreds of times before but it never really got easier, you found. It was extremely tall, the tallest thing in the castle, and your legs always felt like jelly by the time you made it to the top. 

That time, as well, your legs wobbled when you finally reached the top, but a hand rested lightly on your back, steadying you and preventing you from falling. “Careful.” Changbin’s voice was very close behind you, his fingertips just barely pressing into your spine. “I thought you said you had been up here many times before.” 

“I guarantee your legs would never get used to walking up these stairs either.” You shot him a side eye, walking over to the far end of the room and sitting down. “Come on.” You patted the spot next to you. You didn’t see Changbin come to sit next to you but you felt his presence move and eventually settle beside you. 

“It’s so beautiful.” Changbin followed your eyes to the ceiling. Night had settled in and with the darkness of the forest around the castle it only amplified the bright show above your heads. You made a noise of agreement, your shoulder brushing up against Changbin’s. 

“So, test time.” Changbin groaned at your statement and you rolled your eyes, resting back on your hands as you continued to search the sky for the perfect question. “Where is Capella?”

Once you found it yourself, you looked over at Changbin, chuckling at the absolutely clueless look on his face. The light from the stars lit up his features, his pouted lips, scrunched up nose and quick flickering eyes all shone with a glittering shimmer. 

“Don’t laugh at me!” Changbin’s pout extended further when he heard your laugh, “How do you find them? They all look the same.” 

You tried to not laugh anymore, but the way his lip jutted out and the loud sigh that escaped him was too cute, so you chuckled again. “You have to put it in perspective of Polaris, the North Star.”

“There,” You pointed up towards the bright star directly above you both, “is Polaris. So Capella is due east of Polaris and it’s also one of the brightest stars. We learned about this in second year. There it is.” You found the constellation it was in and pointed, looking over at Changbin and finding him squinting in the general direction of where your finger was. 

“Which one?” Changbin asked, still squinting towards the stars. 

You sat up, leaning over and grabbing one of Changbin’s arms. Time seemed to slow down as your fingers danced up his arm, pushing his fingers down until only his index finger was up. You guided his hand until he was pointing at the star in question, but you didn’t let go of him.

“There it is.” You didn’t feel the need to raise your voice so you softly spoke into the air around you. “There’s Capella.” 

When you finally let go of his hand you turned to him, a near silent gasp escaping you when you realized just how close you were. Your noses were almost touching and you felt both the warmth from his breath and from his body heat. There was also a familiar warmth that started at your face and spread through your whole body. You were almost tempted to take off your - Changbin’s - scarf but you decided against it, knowing the cold would creep in quickly.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin had lowered his hand and it was resting in his lap. The fog from his breath lingered in the air before floating up towards the stars.

You tried to think of something to tell him other than the overwhelming warmth that undoubtedly came from being under his gaze, or the fact that you were only mere inches away from kissing him. It was something you never really entertained the idea of, dating. Sure, there were cute guys and girls at the school but you knew studying was way more important. 

But spending the past few days with Changbin, laughing and studying and having quite possibly the best time in a while with him, all you thought about was spending whatever time you could with him. Perhaps it was the loneliness or perhaps it was actually Changbin, you weren’t sure but you were more than happy to spend the rest of the break with him. 

“Uh,” You stuttered, moving away from him and looking down at your hands. Your face burned and when you looked back up at Changbin you saw his cheeks were a bright crimson. “Just really happy that I have someone to spend the break with. I can imagine how lonely it must be to be the only person in the castle.”

“Yeah,” Changbin looked down at his hands in his lap. “I love taking care of the plants but the past two years have been kinda lonely.” He shrugged, looking back up at you. By the time his eyes met your his cheeks had slowly lost their red color. “But you’re here now so it’s much better now.”

You nodded, and through the silence you felt the tendrils of sleep clawing at your brain. You fought back a yawn and looked back up at the stars. Ever since first year you had been coming up there at night to watch the stars. There was something so peaceful and serene about sitting in the tower and just sitting underneath the stars.

“Tired?” Changbin smiled softly. When you nodded he stood up, extending his hand to you. “I’ll walk you back to your Common Room.”

You reached forward and let yourself get helped up, smiling back at him. As soon as you were upright he let go of your hand and you fought not to get disappointed at the lack of his hand in yours. 

“My brain is melted from talking about Herbology.” You laughed as you started walking down the steps of the tower. “So many plants and uses and effects.”

“I feel the same about Astronomy and Charms, an infinite amount of stars and hundreds of thousands of spells to memorize. It’s fucking impossible.” Changbin said, his feet making a loud echo through the stone walls. 

“Nothing is impossible.” You countered, focusing your eyes on your feet and trying not to miss a step. “Things get hard but not impossible.” 

You walked in silence, the only sound you heard was the soft footsteps and the whispers of the paintings. 

“You shouldn’t be out at night.” A woman spoke loudly from one of the paintings. The pictures around her seemed to get the message in a chain reaction, they all looked around at each other and repeated the same phrase. 

In your head you knew the paintings couldn’t do anything at that moment to get you in trouble, but you also knew they could relay messages to professors when everyone got back. You looked back at Changbin, eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“Can’t we just have some fun?” Changbin shot back at the paintings, and you watched with amusement as they all were silenced. “You’ll probably forget by the time everyone comes back anyways.” 

You both laughed as the paintings disappeared behind their borders. As your laugher dissipated a low hum came from behind you and you smiled at the sound of whatever song Changbin was humming along to. 

The walk to your Common Room wasn’t too long, so you got there before Changbin could finish the first song. There wasn’t much else to say, but you also found that you didn’t really need words to convey whatever you were feeling.

You nodded towards Changbin, the small hint of a smile being somewhat hidden by the yellow scarf around your neck. Heat creeped up your face when Changbin mirrored your expression, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” It came out as more of a statement than a question but you still nodded to confirm. “Great.” Changbin stood still, not moving. “I’ll, uh, I’ll go now.”

When you nodded again you turned to the door to your Common Room, watching out of the corner of your eye to see Changbin turning around, fingers playing with the sleeves of his robe and head ducked low. You read the riddle on the picture above the door, getting distracted when you heard a voice from the hallway.

It was singing.

It was Changbin. 

You stood there in front of the door and listened to him singing. Although you couldn’t really distinguish any words other than ‘love’ and ‘snow’, you were still in awe at how pretty he sounded. His singing was much different than his speaking voice. Where his voice was deep and rough, his singing was light and airy. Never in a million years would you expect him to sing like that but you loved it.

His voice slowly dissipated as he walked away, and you stayed standing there until the last note could be heard following him towards the Hufflepuff Common Room. You wondered if he would still be singing in his dorm room, and you thought of him pacing his room, a serious look on his face as he continued to sing. 

You were disappointed when you could no longer hear him, so you quickly solved the riddle to get into your Common Room. By the time you had finally settled into your bed, changing from your robe into something far more comfortable, you realized something. If it was possible for you to fall deeper into your feelings for Seo Changbin, you were Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

“Fuck.” You said to yourself, hands going to rub at your eyes in an attempt to scrub all the thoughts from your brain. That, unfortunately, did not work, and you continued to think about Changbin’s beautiful singing and bright smile and everything else about him until you eventually fell asleep. 

vi.

After days of the same routine, going to the Herbology room for the day to learn about the next batch of plants and then to the Astronomy Tower to try and teach Changbin about another cluster of stars, you were quite literally burnt out. 

Yeah, it was endearing to see how passionate Changbin got about the plants, and helping him tend to them really boosted your knowledge, but it got to the point where you felt as though your brain was going to burst from how full it felt. You were also sure Changbin felt the same way because the last night you went to the tower he had fallen asleep, cheek squished on your shoulder and soft breaths escaping into fog around you.

“I’m so done with studying.” Changbin groaned as he hung his head over his plate of food. It was almost empty and you laughed at him almost dipping his nose in his syrupy pancakes.

“We can do something else if you want.” You suggested, finishing up your breakfast and sending your plate away. 

Changbin lifted his head up, mouth tilted and nose scrunched in thought. You waited for a few moments, observing the way his teeth teased his bottom lip and his eyes flickering between the lights hanging above.  

All of a sudden it was like a lightbulb had been lit up above his head, his whole body stiffening up and his eyes quickly snapping to meet yours. “I know what we should do!” You shushed him when his voice came out just tad bit louder than you would have liked, even though there was no one else in the room to be annoyed.

“Please tell me it’s not a surprise.” Not that you would have hated if it was a surprise as that meant you would have gotten to hold his hand again which you definitely weren’t opposed to, but you weren’t too keen on not knowing where you were going. 

“Well it would be pretty hard to hide this surprise so I’ll say no.” He chuckled, finishing his food at a very alarming rate. “Come on, let’s go!” The excitement in his voice only served to make your heart pump faster as well, a big smile curling past the edge of your scarf.

You followed him as he stood up, eyebrows raising as he stuck out his hand again. If this wasn’t a surprise, why did he want to hold your hand? You thought as you looked at him.

And he seemed to read your mind, because a pink hue spread across his face, the hand that wasn’t held out to you coming up to the back of his neck. “Oh, just so I don’t lose you.” Changbin smiled but it was more of a nervous one than the excited smile he had shown only moments before. “You know, the castle is really big. One wrong turn and we’re miles away from each other!”

His logic was sound, and you definitely weren’t opposed to holding his hand again so you made no protest, reaching forward and feeling warmth envelop you as your fingers intertwined again. While you weren’t sure exactly what the warm feeling was, you knew that it felt nice and it spread through your whole body. It wasn’t a hot warmth, but a comforting one, and you wanted to feel it all the time.

But if it only happened when you were near Changbin then, fuck. Perhaps you liked Changbin more than thought, or wanted to think, but you knew that at the end of the break you would go back to being strangers and you didn’t want to face that heartbreak. 

“Where are we going?” You asked, noticing that instead of turning right or left at the Great Hall doors, Changbin started walking forward, toward the front of the castle.

Changbin didn’t answer you until you were skirting the edge of the forest, the cold breeze nipping at your nose and cheeks. “It’s boring in the castle so I figured we could go to Hogsmeade.” When he turned back to you his nose was red, cheeks still pink and eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Is that allowed?” Your hand gripped Changbin’s tightly, the freezing temperatures making you cling to any warmth you could get and obviously it was all coming from him.

“There are no professors here to get us in trouble, and the people at Hogsmeade aren’t going to give a shit about our robes or anything.” Changbin shrugged, and you noticed you weren’t headed in the normal direction of village, but through a small path in the middle of the woods.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a Hufflepuff? You know, always following rules.” Your questions kept coming, and you looked sideways. Changbin’s nose was red, his cheeks almost matching. His scarf nearly covered his mouth, but you could still see the fog from his breath escaping through the fibers. As the snow fell around you, you noticed small snowflakes sticking to Changbin’s eyelashes. 

Before you could catch yourself staring, he turned to you, the snowflakes on his eyelashes slowly melting every time he blinked. “Even a Hufflepuff has to have some fun.” He winked at you, the tip of his lips curling above the scarf in a sly smile. 

The walk to Hogsmeade was much quicker than the normal way, and you wondered how many people knew of the shortcut. By the time Changbin had turned back to look down the path, a large brick wall was coming into view. Paired with the mix of talking, laughing and music growing louder as you approached, you were surprised at how quick you had made it there.

“Wow, that was quick.” You noted, looking up and down the wall and seeing you were right outside the village. There was no door, however, just the dark bricks that were jutting out in a distinct pattern.

Instead of responding, Changbin released your hand and you hoped he didn’t spot the way your bottom lip mimicked the bricks, jutting out slightly. He took out his wand, tapping a seemingly random array of bricks and you watched in awe as a small portion of the wall began swinging open. 

Behind the door you could see a steady stream of people walking up and down the streets and you realized you were right in the middle of Hogsmeade, without having to go through the front gates and deal with security. Changbin motioned for you to follow him, and without any thought behind your decision, you reached out and grabbed his hand. His eyes were cast downward and cheeks significantly redder than previously. 

“So I don’t lose you.” You mumbled out, feeling your face heat up and lip being teased by your teeth. The boy connected to you nodded, his fingers gripping yours tightly, but not tight enough that it got uncomfortable. If anything, you noticed the familiar warmth spread through you but this time it started at your hand in his.

“Come on, let’s go.” Changbin quickly started walking, and you looked behind to see the secret door slowly closing, the lines where it was opened now smooth again. You followed quietly behind, the people walking around you paying no attention to two students coming out of a dark alley together. It was understandable, with the holidays closely approaching, people would surely be more occupied with finding presents than busting students.

“Where do you wanna go first?” Changbin turned around to ask you, turning into a space away from the constant wave of people walking, not wanting to get swept away in the crowd. The constant talking and music around you made it hard for you to hear him, and you leaned closer, a sound of confusion coming from your throat. Changbin leaned forward, and you felt his nose almost touch the shell of your ear. “I said, where do you wanna go first?”

You looked around, taking in the shops around you and deciding to start there and just keep walking. Immediately to your right was the bookshop, Tomes and Scrolls, and you thought about seeing if there were any new astronomy books you could read. 

You turned to Changbin, a small gasp escaping you when you realized just how close you were. The tip of your nose just brushed his before he pulled away slightly, the tips of his ears burning red.

“Uh,” You stuttered, eyes trailing down to his lips and the way his teeth teased the bottom one. “Can we go to Tomes and Scrolls? I want to see if there are any new astronomy books.” When you looked back up at his eyes, you were surprised to see him staring at your lips. 

“Sure.” Changbin looked away, towards the bookstore only a few steps away. He seemed to be thinking to himself before he nodded. “Yea, let’s go.” He tugged your hand, weaving through the current of people, but not without catching a few dirty gazes for occasionally bumping into someone. 

As soon as you entered the building you were hit by the smell of old parchment. It was a very familiar smell, having been there more times than you could count when you would walk through Hogsmeade during weekends. You noticed there weren’t many people in the large shop, and knowing exactly where you needed to go, you started walking there.

Once you reached the row of books you had been looking for, the science section, you turned towards the one still connected by your hands. Changbin was looking around, the old antiques lining windowsills and shelves intriguing him.

“If you want, you can go look at whatever you want.” You let go of his hand, loosening your scarf as you had just walked into a room with heating. “You don’t have to stay by my side if you don’t want to.” 

“I don’t mind.” Changbin countered but made no move to grab for your hand again. “I don’t have any books I want to look for anyway.” He smiled, gesturing towards the shelf of books. “Go ahead, nerd.”

You lightly smacked his arm, sticking your tongue out at him and beginning to walk down the aisle, but not before throwing a, “You’re the nerd here, plant boy.”

Soft footsteps followed behind you, and you began to forget about your surroundings as you immersed yourself in the books. Most of them you had read before, some of them being presents from friends or your parents and others being given to you by Professor Sinistra had gifted you for being the top of the class. 

After you had picked out a few books you were interested in, you turned to Changbin, finding him looking very confused at a book of the history of the planets. You chuckled at him, walking the few steps until you found yourself next to him.

“Having fun?” You asked, laughing when said boy looked up at you with an incredibly clueless face. 

“This all feels like another language.” Changbin snapped the book shut, putting it where he found it and fully facing you. “Are you done?” The sentence would sound impatient if it weren’t for the smile on his face. When you nodded, Changbin motioned for you to go checkout, and you walked in silence with him behind you.

As you put your books down on the counter, you smiled towards George, the store owner. “Hi Mister George!” Everyone always called him by his first name and he always had a bright smile on his face despite the slight shake in his hand and the need for a cane to walk.

“Hello Y/N, it’s been a while! Found some books you haven't read yet?” His smile made him look so much younger. George started ringing up your two books, looking between you and Changbin yet he didn’t say anything.

“Yea, studying for OWLs set me back a little bit but I’m sure I’ll catch up with your supply soon.” You chuckled, trying to think back to the last time you had came by this store and not remembering.

“I’m sure you’ll do amazing, sweetie.” George finished ringing up your books, sliding them back to you. 

After you paid you reached forward to grab the books, only to be cut off by Changbin getting there first. When you turned to him, he simply shrugged saying, “I’ll carry them for you.”

You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest and sighing. “I can do it.”

“I know, I want to carry them for you.” He countered, bringing them closer to his body.

A chuckle came from next to you, and you both looked towards the noise, finding George looking at you two with another large smile. “You two are cute together. Remind me of my wife and I, both stubborn as hell but still in love.”

You wanted to say something but your face was aflame, ears burning and head tilted toward the ground. Instead of responding, you changed the subject, “I’ll see you later, Mister George, happy holidays.” You didn’t look at Changbin as you walked away, only knowing he was following behind you when you heard his footsteps and then eventually felt his hand envelop yours. 

Neither of you said anything about what George said, but with one look at Changbin you were sure your ears probably matched his own, bright red. You would have liked to say something about what happened, apologize for not correcting him, apologizing for not confirming what he said, but to be honest you weren’t too sure of your feelings. 

“Do you mind if we go to Dervish and Banges, the magic store?” Changbin asked, nodding towards the building only a few shops down, his hands preoccupied. “I want to get a few gifts.” 

“Of course, let’s go.” You agreed, quickly making your way down the road and running into the shop.

There were more people than the bookstore, loud chatter echoing through the whole shop and you felt Changbin loosen his grip on your hand. You let go immediately, looking over at him and seeing him searching for something.

“Should we split up?” You knew you could find a few gifts for your friends, and you wanted to give Changbin some privacy. “You’re probably sick of always being stuck with me.”

Changbin chuckled, shaking his head. “Not yet.” He paused for a second. “I’m just kidding, by the way. I don’t mind being with you. I mean, stuck with you.” He corrected himself, adjusting the books that had settled on his hip. “But yea, let’s split up and find our gifts. Then we can head back to the castle.” 

“Sure, sounds good.” You held your hands out. “Let me carry the books,” when Changbin didn’t hand them over you continued, “at least until we are done in here.”

“Okay.” Changbin drew out the last syllable, slowly giving them back to you. “But only until we are headed back to the castle, and then I’ll carry them. Let’s meet back at the front of the store in an hour.”

You nodded, turning on your heels and heading straight for the sweets section. If there was one thing you knew about Luna it was that she loved sweets. Looking through the different assortment of delicious looking things you settled on chocolate frogs, recalling once she had tried to keep one of the frogs in their dorm room and for the next month it smelled like stale milk. For a moment you debated getting her the chocolate frogs, but figured that she had learned her lesson the first time. 

For a while you were strolling up the aisles, looking at different gadgets and things. For Seungmin you had gotten a journal that had a whiteboard on the front, allowing him to doodle anything he wanted on it, it also came with a paper with a spell on it to animate the drawing.

You had also gotten something for Changbin, and you hoped it wouldn't be weird getting a present for someone you had only known for two weeks. It was a small snow globe, but instead of it being full of water or small flecks of artificial snow, it was an ecosystem full of plants. They were all alive, still growing from sprouts in the bottom of the globe. You thought that he could have his own greenhouse in his dorm room for when he couldn’t walk down to the large Herbology room. 

But, Han Jisung was an enigma. He was arguably your best friend at Hogwarts, ever since you walked into the Ravenclaw Common Room and saw a very hyper Jisung playing tag with some of the other students. He had ran into you, helping you up and introducing himself. Now five years later you told him all your secrets and he told you all of his and you wanted to get him something really special for when he came back from break. 

Finally you had settled on the quills, knowing how much he wrote, especially music, on anything he could. Sometimes you would go back to bed with ink marks on your arms from where Jisung just started drawing musical notes. 

There was a huge assortment of quills, and you were quite taken aback by it. Anything from quills that told jokes to quills that wrote in invisible ink that were only visible with a spell, they all were laid out in front of you and you were extremely indecisive.

That was, until you saw it. It was a medium sized quill with a very dark feather. At first glance it looked like any normal, non magic quill, but once you picked it up you read the tag.

“Turn any song into actual music with the flick of your wrist! Just draw a music note and listen as the quill plays it for you!” 

You smiled, clutching onto it as if it was the last one. It was perfect, you thought as you made your way up to the front, handing over the things you got to the cashier. Everything you had gotten seemed to perfectly encapsulate the ones you got them for, and you were excited to be able to hand them over and see their reactions. 

However there was still a nagging feeling at the back of your mind that Changbin would find it weird that you got him a present. Maybe I shouldn’t give it to him. You thought as you retrieved the bag of items from the cashier, walking toward the front with the bag in one hand and your books in the other. 

At the front of the store you already spotted Changbin, a small bag in his hand and the other shoved into the pocket of his robe. When he spotted you he smiled before reaching out. Rolling your eyes, you handed over your books, watching as he maneuvered them to one arm, that same hand holding onto his bag.

“Ready to go?” Changbin asked, his scarf already tucked into his robe and nearly covering his mouth. 

You nodded, doing the same to your scarf (which was still Changbin’s, but at this point you really didn’t want to give it back). “Yep! I can’t wait to get back for dinner and then sleep.” If you knew anything, it was that you had no expectations of going back to the castle and studying. One day breaks can be beneficial. Besides, you already felt as if there was nothing else new to learn, and you still had a month to review. 

“I never thought I would hear a Ravenclaw complain about studying.” A soft chuckle escaped into the air as Changbin once again grabbed your hand with his free one. It went without saying anything and you accepted his fingers gripping onto yours as you walked side by side. 

“Just because we like learning doesn’t mean we like studying.” You weren’t wrong, what with the amount of groans and complaints you heard in the Common Room when studying for OWLs started you were sure that if anything, most Ravenclaws despised studying.

There was a comfortable silence that washed over you as you walked, your connected hands swinging slightly as you made your way to the secret door back to the castle. Changbin mumbled something under his breath, his hand disconnecting briefly from ours, wand tapping seemingly the same pattern as when you had entered, and you set off on the short walk back to the castle, his hand subconsciously finding his way back to yours.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He asked from beside you, eyes still focused on the white covered path. It was like a winter wonderland, but you also knew the monsters that could be hiding in any nook or behind any tree so you wanted to get back as quick as possible.

“Why do you always ask that?” It was definitely what was on your mind, and you had hoped you didn’t come across as rude. “I didn’t mean it like that, I am just curious.”

“No, it’s okay.” Changbin started swinging your hands, the cold breeze it created making you shiver slightly. “I guess it’s just an easy way to start a conversation, and it lets others talk about what they want to talk about instead of just talking about something random.”

“I never thought about it that way.” You continued walking, your hand stopped swinging in favor of Changbin’s thumb softly rubbing the top of your hand. You assumed it was on accident, a subconscious thing that he does, but he had never done it before. Not that you minded in the slightest, which was why you didn’t say anything, letting him continue on, a shy smile slipping onto your face. 

As soon as you made it to the castle you both raced into the Great Hall, the smell of dinner wafting through the walls and making your stomach growl. There was only a week and a half until break was over and five days until Christmas, so each meal leading up to the holiday seemed even more delicious than the last.

You ate quickly, the hunger in your stomach almost unbearable now that you sat down and relaxed. Besides the loud noises of you eating, there was silence, not even the fairy at the top of the tree singing. Once you were done you pushed your plate away, watching Changbin do the same. 

“I’m officially done with today.” You leaned back in your chain, your scarf hanging behind the back. “I mean, I had a great time but I’m so tired.” Sleep crawled at your eyelids and you fought not to succumb to it, especially not sitting up in a chair where there was a high possibility your body hits the floor.

“We should head to bed, we exerted a lot of energy.” Changbin mumbled, his eyes also almost closing, his bottom lip poked out in a pout and you had to convince yourself to not kiss him in your sleepy haze.

You made a noise of agreement, too tired to even form words. Your plates still sat there and with a groan you sent them away. Each second you were awake was another second that you felt sleep pulling you under.

“Come on, we should get to bed before we both fall asleep at the table.” Changbin stood up and you saw he was much more coherent than you were. Albeit, he was still swaying on his feet, eyes drooping every couple of seconds. 

Standing up, you shook your head, forcing yourself to wake up just enough to get to your bed. You grabbed your bag and books and fixed the scarf back onto your neck. With a tired smile you reached towards Changbin’s hand, interlocking fingers like you had been doing over and over the past two weeks.

Your feet dragged as you walked and at some point Changbin let go of your hand in favor of wrapping a hand around your waist. Although you were somewhere between sleep and awake, you registered his soft breath on your ear and his voice saying, “You didn’t sleep much last night, did you?”

Thinking back to it, you really hadn’t. You decided to get in some study time by yourself, talking out loud into the room and trying not to think about Changbin’s handsome face. By the time you had deemed yourself done with studying for the night, it was well past midnight, so with some quick, sleepy calculating you held up four fingers to signal how many hours you figured you got. 

Changbin nodded, keeping silent as the walk to your Common Room felt like hours but was only a few minutes. You were coherent enough to eventually pick your feet up fully, but you leaned to the side, resting your head on Changbin’s shoulder. If he didn’t like it, you could just blame it on the fatigue when you saw him in the morning. He didn’t seem to mind though, just walking along as his fingers pressed even more on your waist to keep you upright.

The riddle at the doorknob blinked, indicating you hadn’t solved it yet. Changbin looked over at you and you shook your head, rubbing off sleep just enough to be able to solve the riddle with ease. (They tended to reuse riddles a lot and within the five years of you being there you had seen a few many times before.)

“Get some sleep, Y/N.” Changbin whispered in your ear, thumb softly stroking your waist and you felt a shiver race through you. Whether that was because of the cold or because of Changbin’s extremely close proximity, you weren’t sure. Although sleep was relentlessly trying to pull you under, you were coherent enough to register just how much you liked him saying your name. 

You nodded, not wanting to take your head off his shoulder and definitely not wanting to leave his very warm presence. “Okay.” You finally mumbled after a few seconds. “You too, get some sleep Changbin.”

“I will. I promise.” Changbin laughed, and guided you towards the door. 

As you stepped through the threshold the door closed behind you, and you stumbled towards your bedroom, a smile on your face when you remembered everything that happened. The bag of your gifts hung from your hand and you set it on Luna’s bed, it’s not like she was using it at that moment anyways. 

When you collapsed in bed, pulling the blanket up to your chin and eyes closing almost instantly, you thought back to how secure you felt with Changbin’s arm around you and how warm you felt when he was around. Sure, you had had crushes before, and that atrocious date at the Yule Ball thanks to Jisung, but what you felt was something unknown and as a Ravenclaw you definitely did not appreciate not knowing what you were feeling.

“Damn you, Seo Changbin.” Your voice trailed off, sleep finally taking over.

vii.

The next four days were filled with relentless studying. You would stay in the library way past curfew with Changbin, scouring the aisles for any types of books that could help you that you hadn’t yet read. At one point you even fell asleep sitting in one of the rows of books, one minute you were searching for a book of potions and the next you were being shaken awake by Changbin.

But the morning of Christmas you woke up early, finding Changbin’s present still sitting on Luna’s bed. You decided to give it to him when you both went to tend to the plants, finding it perfect that his present fit the scenario.

You put his present in a small box, trying slowly to wrap it and make it look somewhat presentable. Unfortunately there wasn’t a spell for it to wrap itself, so you begrudgingly fought with your own fingers in an attempt to cover every inch of the box.

You weren’t sure exactly how long it took you to finally be satisfied with the present, but you did know that the sun was shining in your window, as opposed to the dark pre-sunrise glow from when you started. 

“It’s not that bad.” You said to yourself, holding out the present, observing every angle and deciding that although it did look pieced together, because it was pieced together with a lot of patches of wrapping paper, that it looked good enough to give to Changbin.

Walking down to the Great Hall, the paintings around you sang Christmas carols and you laughed when you realized that none of them matched each other, the lyrics and notes mixing together into a very noisy and unpleasant sound. 

“Can you guys at least sing the same song?” You told them as you walked past, chuckling when that only caused them to have an argument over which Christmas song was superior.

When you finally made it to the Great Hall you were stopped in your tracks, the giant Christmas tree in the middle of the room was lit up even more than it was before. Vibrant blues, greens and purples sparkled on every inch of the tree, and when you looked closer you noticed that the lights were actually moving.

“Merry Christmas!” One of the lights screamed, the high pitched voice causing you to cringe. The lights were actually fairies, flying from branch to branch. Their wings emulated multiple colors, changing every couple of seconds. 

Your eyes then travelled to another sparkling object, but as you approached your regular table you laughed, sitting down across from a very glittery Changbin.

“What happened?” You asked, leaning forward and picking a piece of tinsel out of his hair. His regularly black hair with red streaks instead looked silver under the light, an immense amount of glitter and tinsel stuck in it.

“I tried to ask the fairies to wrap my presents and they bombarded me with this.” Changbin gestured to his hair, shaking his head and laughing when glitter spewed in every direction. “At least they agreed to wrap them. I’m not that coordinated to do it myself.”

“I never thought of that. I would let them drown me in glitter if I didn’t have to wrap mine myself.” You thought back to your horrifically wrapped presents, but decided your friends would rather it be pieced together by you than perfectly wrapped by someone else.

Before you could say anything else two full plates of food flew and quite literally landed on the table. There was almost every type of breakfast you could think of sitting right in front of you and you looked up at Changbin, eyes wider than the plates. Changbin, however, was just smiling excitedly, his eyes scrunched up and cheeks shining with the remnants of glitter that had floated from his hair.

“Holy shit.” You whispered, eyes still trying to take in all the food in front of you.

“Yeah. They always serve this on Christmas. I swear I gain 5 pounds each year because I can’t stop eating.” Changbin laughed, licking his lips in anticipation. He looked like he would dive in immediately but instead he looked up at you, a lopsided grin on his face. “By the way, Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Changbin.” You smiled back before staring down at your plate and debating where to start. 

A long groan escaped your lips when you finished eating, the last of the food having been cleared from the plate. It was quite possibly the tastiest meal you had ever had, and you considered staying there for break every year just so you could eat it on Christmas Day. Looking over at Changbin you saw the same expression you harbored, a very exhausted and overwhelmed smile on both of your faces. 

“Oh. My. God.” You shook your head, “I don’t think I can eat anything else ever again.” 

“We still have dinner tonight.” Changbin reminded you, chuckling when you groaned even louder. 

You sat in silence while you waited for the immensely full feeling to pass enough for you to be able to get up. The plates still sat on the table in front of you and neither of you had the energy to send it away this time. 

Before you could gather the energy to lift your wand, a flash of glitter appearing in front of you. “Merry Christmas!” The fairy squeaked. “I’ll take care of your plates. In the meantime,” another flash and she looked above the table. When you looked up your eyes widened, seeing a small mistletoe floating above you. “Why don’t the lovely couple share a Christmas kiss?”

“Oh.” You stuttered, “we aren’t dating, actually.” Daring not to look at Changbin, you locked eyes with the fairy, watching her face drop into a very dissatisfied frown.

“Too bad, you guys look cute together.” She pouted, glitter cascading slowly down her wings as she looked at Changbin and back at you. Her eyebrows raised, like she knew something and your face heated up. “Okay, I get it.” She winked at you, “Have a fun rest of your Christmas.” 

As soon as she had appeared she was gone, the plates and mistletoe following after her. You tried to stall looking back at Changbin, in fear of your face giving your new feelings away, but you figured prolonging anything would only make you look more suspicious.

Changbin’s cheeks were red, eyes downcasted and foot tapping softly on the floor. It wasn’t enough to cause an echo, but enough that the sound travelled the short distance between you. He looked adorable, and if you had enough confidence you would have leant over the table and kissed him right there. But unfortunately you didn’t, so you settled with clearing your throat, that sound echoing through the room.

“So, don’t you need to go tend to the plants?” You had the time table memorized at that point, knowing that after breakfast you would walk with him to the Herbology room, doing the same routine over and over. It would normally have gotten boring, but just being with Changbin made everything interesting. 

“Yeah.” Changbin looked up at you for the first time since the fairy came and took your plates. His hair was splayed across his forehead, nearly covering his eyes, and you almost commented on the fact that he should get a haircut soon but you also noticed just how good his longer hair looked.

“Okay, let’s go.” You tried brushing off the heat sizzling up in you, and the cold air from the cracks in the doors did well at cooling off your burning face. When you stood up you extended your hand, waiting just an extra beat longer than normal for Changbin to slip his hand in yours. 

Rather than awkward, the walk towards the Herbology was filled with tension. Changbin’s hand was sweaty, and neither of you chose to acknowledge it as you weaved through the moving stairs and winding hallways. It wasn’t a long walk to the Herbology room, but when you finally reached the door you disconnected your hands, watching as he unlocked the room. 

His shoulders were slumped as he made his way to the water sprayer, filling it up and then checking each plant carefully. You observed him, his present weighing heavily in your pocket. What if he thought it was weird? There were doubts in the back of your head, but you had already gotten it and seeing the way Changbin looked at each plant, like they were his children, with such care and love, you knew he would like it no matter if thought it was weird.

“Hey Changbin?” You called out to him, the present being held by your two hands behind your back. 

“Yeah?” He said, turning around after setting down a potted plant. His eyes moved to your arms behind your back, eyebrows raised in confusion and a small hint of alarm. “What’s behind your back?”

Instead of answering his question, you giggled, fingers drumming on the small box holding his present. As soon as you were standing directly in front of him, you took the box out from behind your back. Under the lights you got a better look, your lips quirking up into an apologetic smile.

“I tried to wrap it myself but it didn’t go as well as I planned, I definitely fucked it up just a little bit.” Despite it looking as pieced together as a jigsaw puzzle, you were quite proud of yourself for covering each inch of the box. You watched as Changbin took the box out of your hand gently, looking at each and every angle.

“It doesn’t look that bad. It means a lot more that you did it yourself.” Changbin smiled, fingers playing along the edges of the wrapping paper taped on nearly every side. A breathy laugh escaped him as he tried to pull the wrapping paper. “I think you did too good, I can’t get the damn thing off.” 

After a few seconds of struggling with the paper he ripped the top off enough to find the box underneath. A surprised look crossed his face as he slowly removed the top. There was a moment of observing what was inside before he took it out, holding it up to the light. His mouth was slightly hanging open, eyes wide and scouring every little plant that greeted him from inside for snowglobe.

“It’s a snowglobe, except it doesn’t have snow, it has plants.” You explained, pointing to the small sprouts in the soil of the snowglobe. “I figured you could have something to look at when you can’t come here.”

Before you could say anything else, a weight was pressed against you, hands immediately coming around you and resting on your back. Changbin was hugging you, and you quickly relaxed into his arms. He was much warmer than you expected, like a portable heater. The hand that wasn’t holding his present pressed flat on your back, slowly rubbing in circles.

“Thank you.” Changbin repeated over and over. His face was squished into your neck and you felt his breath on your collarbone, a shiver running through you even though you were far from cold. Your own arms wrapped around him, palms holding onto his shoulders and you could feel his muscles moving underneath your hand when you ran it up his spine. 

You didn’t want to let go, but Changbin pulled away first, holding up his plant globe once again to the light. His eyes shone as he scanned each little plant that had shown itself in the couple of days it had been in your room. It was like he didn’t believe it, and you smiled at how happy he looked. 

“So you like it?” Your voice was hopeful, and Changbin’s eyes immediately snapped to yours.

“Of course! I love it.” His smile was everything you could have ever hoped, all the previous worry and nervousness melting off of you. “Why wouldn’t I like it?”

“Well,” when you thought back to your worries, you realized that this was Changbin you were talking about, the sweetest Hufflepuff you had ever seen, even if he liked to break rules sometimes. Hell, he was softer than Seungmin. “I was scared you would think I was weird or something. I mean, we’ve only known each other for two weeks.” Your face heated up voicing your worries to him, but you knew he wouldn't make fun of you for it.

“You’re not weird at all. We’re friends, right?” You nodded, fighting the frown at the word friends. “Then you shouldn’t feel weird. I love it! I’ve been wanting to get a plant for my room but it’s not allowed, this is the perfect substitute.” Changbin’s smile widened again, eyes going back to scanning each and every inch of the plant globe. 

“Good, I’m glad you like it.” The light from outside was slowly dimming, midday already passed and evening creeping up behind it. A bright ray of sun shone directly through the clouds, aiming directly for Changbin’s plant globe. It seemed to feed all the plants in it, and you almost gasped when you saw some of them start to grow taller right before your eyes.

The next hour was spent helping Changbin check on the plants, and within the past week and a half you had learned almost everything you could about all of the ones in the room. How to care for them, how to clean them (at least, the ones you could touch without getting harmed or killed), how to tell if they were in need of more soil or water and how to handle them without setting them off, specifically the mandrakes. 

As soon as you were done checking on them all, you looked towards Changbin, who was still admiring his plant globe every minute. The last remaining light from outside illuminated his features, and you were in awe at just how handsome he looked. 

“Can we go to the Astronomy Tower?” Suddenly Changbin looked at you, asking the question with a nervous hint to his voice. When you nodded, he smiled, and he slowly set his globe in the box you had put it in originally.

Leading him to the tower, you walked in silence, the paintings around you finally on the same page as they all sang the same Christmas song, albeit in varying volumes and pitches. At least it was the same lyrics, you thought as you walked beside Changbin.

Your feet quickly struck the floor, a sense of excitement washing over you because you knew certain stars would be better visible tonight and you couldn’t want to tell Changbin about them. Whenever you would talk about the stars to him, you found his eyes always following your finger as you pointed in the sky. Sometimes he would get it and sometimes he wouldn’t, but just seeing the stars reflected back into his eyes made your feelings for him just dig itself a little bit deeper.

After the tantalus walk up the stairs, you settled for a different spot than before to look at the stars, picking one just a little bit closer to the stairs. Sitting down, you let go of Changbin’s hand, opting instead to start pointing up at all the stars you recognized that you hadn’t yet talked about with him. 

However before you could go very far into your explanation about Pleiades and it’s mythology, you noticed Changbin looking over to the side. “Are you okay?” You asked, your hand moving to rest on his shoulder.

Instead of answering you, Changbin turned back around, his hands clasped around something and before you could ask him anything he interrupted. “Close your eyes.” When your face morphed into one of slight fear and worry, he elaborated. “Just trust me, I have a surprise for you.”

You had trusted him that whole time, so you listened, closing your eyes and relying on your other senses to try and tell what was going on around you. To your right, where Changbin was, you heard a slight rustling and then the sound of fabric on wood. You felt a familiar warmth envelop you and then the feeling of two hands in front of your face.

Trusting him, you didn’t freak out, letting it all happen and suddenly you felt something very cold hit your chest right between your collarbones. Curiosity filled your senses but you waited for Changbin to give you a noise of confirmation to open your eyes. When a small “okay” came from your right you squinted at him, nose scrunched and you were nervous to look down. 

You couldn’t see much of it, but what you did was beautiful. It was a small charm, almost like Saturn itself. There was one dark orb in the middle surrounded by two rings and the one on the inside spun slightly when you moved. It was breathtaking, and you felt your jaw quite literally drop, eyes widening and face burning. 

“Wow.” Was all you could say as you watched Changbin grow more and more visibly nervous. “I love it.” You said, slipping your hand underneath it and admiring the way the night sky seemed to make it shine even brighter.

“That’s not all it does.” Changbin’s hand ruffled his hair, eyes still not leaving the necklace resting almost perfectly directly underneath your collarbones. “Stand up.” His hand was extended towards you and you took it, letting him pull you up before taking out his wand.

One of his hands stayed clasped in yours, the other holding his wand and you stayed staring into his eyes before he was the first one to break it. The tip of his wand tapped your necklace, “astra lumora” he whispered softly and you gasped when immediately you were surrounded by stars. 

Above, below, all around you were bright sparks of stars, and you found yourself looking everywhere you could to find you were quite literally standing among the stars. It was almost as if you were floating in space with nothing around you but the gas balls. 

“This,” your eyes continued to wander before finally settling on Changbin’s bright ones. “Is beautiful. I love it so much.” You couldn’t tear your eyes away from Changbin’s. Despite being in what felt like a dream, sitting among the stars, you were grounded by his eyes on yours. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” A smile flickered on Changbin’s face, and your gaze swapped from his eyes to his lips. There wasn’t really anything else you were thinking about except kissing him, and you decided, fuck it, what better time to confess your rapidly escalating feelings for the Hufflepuff in front of you than while you were surrounded by stars?

“I’m thinking about how much I really want to kiss you.” You were so close that you only needed to whisper it, watching your cold breath escaping as a small cloud in the air. It was going to be heartbreaking if he didn’t feel the same, but it was okay, because at the end of the break you would go back to being just a Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, not interacting or talking. 

“Ask me the same thing.” Changbin’s thumb rubbed your hand softly, eyes locked on your lips.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Your voice was barely audible, the hand that wasn’t clasped in his moving up his arm to eventually rest on the back of his neck. The hairs there were sticking up and whether that was because of the cold or your proximity, you weren’t sure.

Changbin took another step closer to you, your nose brushing his. His wand was gone, tucked away into his robe as his hand wrapped around you, resting on the small of your back. “I’ve been thinking the same thing for a while.”

Instead of saying anything else, you lean forward, eyes closing. The feeling of Changbin’s lips on yours could only be described as soft. He wasn’t too hard, perhaps afraid you would break into a thousand specs, blending in with the stars surrounding you. While you did feel like you could do that, Changbin’s hand on your back and the prickly feeling of the hair on the back of his neck grounded you into reality.

Yeah, you were kissing Seo Changbin, the same guy that you didn’t want to associate with at all after learning he would also be staying behind for break. The same guy that got too excited talking about plants and had always kept his hand clasped in yours. The same guy that gave you his scarf when you forgot yours and never once asked for it back.

You definitely had no intention of giving it back now. 

Changbin tilted his head, his hand leaving yours and joining his other one on your back. Your free hand also coming up to settle on his neck, thumb tracing a vein that told you his heartbeat was pounding.

It was effortless, kissing Changbin, and you found yourself thinking that it could definitely become a habit. He was like a drug, pulling you into a sense of euphoria and relaxation that had your knees buckling. All of your senses molded into one and you weren’t sure where you started and Changbin ended, or whether you two had just slowly combined to create one bright star to join the infinite others out there.

All you knew was that Seo Changbin was there, he was kissing you, and you could spend the rest of your life stuck in his embrace and you would be the happiest person in the universe.

When you finally pulled back from the kiss, you were met with Changbin’s sparkling eyes, smile stretching from ear to ear. His cheeks were slowly gaining color, his eyes never leaving yours and you were entranced. Leaning forward you left another soft peck on his lips, a small giggle directed at the ground when you rested your forehead on his shoulder. 

“Wow.” You said for the second time.

“I know.” Changbin’s thumbs pressed a little harder into your back, palms smoothing out over your muscles and pulling you closer to him if that was even possible at that point. “So,” He started, hands now moved to your waist and the warmth you had always felt when you were around him surrounded and filled every inch of you. “Where do we go from here?”

Where do you go from there? Surely you wanted to be with him, even if you had sworn off dating in favor of studying. You could have both, right? You would force yourself to have both if it meant having Changbin with you.

“Well,” Your hands moved to Changbin’s hair, softly pulling and stroking any inch of skin you could reach. “I like you, a lot.”

“Duh.” Changbin countered, laughing when you smacked his shoulder lightly. “Okay, okay. I like you a lot too.” Although his laugh had dissipated, the gentle smile still remained.

“Do you think we could make this, like, official?” Your voice stuttered a bit, and you weren’t sure how to ask, you had only been asked out once and that was to the Yule Ball.

“You want me to be your boyfriend?” A smirk played on Changbin’s face, his shoulder ready to take another hit but you just nodded, the yellow fabric of his scarf brushing against your hand as you played with a loose string.

“As long as you want to be my boyfriend.”

“Of course I do.” Instead of saying anything else, Changbin sealed his statement with a kiss, his lips cold after being separated from yours for so long. 

After you pulled away a long yawn ripped through you, the darkness of the night pulling at your eyelids and wanting you to join so many other people in dream land. It all felt like a dream, though, and you were convinced that when you laid down to go to sleep that you would just wake up. 

“We should get some sleep.” Changbin said, pulling out his wand and tapping your necklace twice, watching as the stars all got sucked back into the dark orb. “There’s only a week left until break ends.”

You let a pout fall onto your face, not wanting to go back to classes and the bombardment of students. You just wanted to spend all the time you could with Changbin before you were forced to sit at different tables and only see each other at certain times. 

“Okay. I guess we should.” You agreed, however, knowing that although you were the Ravenclaw, Changbin sounded much more logical at that moment.

Your head stayed on Changbin’s shoulder as you walked back to your Common Room, your hand still grasped tightly in his. Occasionally you leaned just a little bit closer, pecking the corner of his mouth or his cheek or his neck, whatever you could reach. When you did that, Changbin would turn his head towards you, letting you land a kiss on where you wanted to land one the most, his lips.

“Oh look at them!” One of the pictures whispered as you walked by, and you watched as they all followed your movements, soft whispers being exchanged. You ignored them, just wanting to stay with your hand in Changbin’s and his warmth surrounding you.

As soon as you arrived at your Common Room you pulled apart, though Changbin’s hands just wandered to your waist as you solved the riddle, listening to the click of the lock opening for you. When you turned around Changbin’s lips were on yours, a soft hum coming from his throat. You were content with just staying like that, but paintings eventually gossiped, and you definitely didn’t want the professors finding out what you were up to during break.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” The hands on your waist were distracting, but you kept thinking that the faster you went to sleep the quicker you could see him in the morning again.

“Yeah, tomorrow.” Changbin confirmed, not making any move to leave. His hands stayed in place, fingers tapping lightly. “Hey, Y/N?” After a few moments of silence he called your name, stepping a little bit closer to you and the warmth started to intensify. When you made a noise in response, you saw his eyes flick to your lips. “Can I kiss you again?”

“Of course, Binnie. You don’t have to ask.” Chucking you walked up in front of him, waiting for him to lean in and give you what you knew you both wanted, but he didn’t. You opened your eyes, shooting him a confused look, eyebrows raised when you saw his mouth gaped open. “Are you okay?”

His cheeks lit up almost red and you found it cute that he was still shy. “You, uh, you called me Binnie.” A small smile appeared on his face, nose scrunched up slightly and before you could ask any other questions, like if it was okay that you called him that, he continued. “I mean, I like it, that nickname. It’s cute.” He elaborated, quickly leaning forward and landing a kiss on your awaiting lips. It was quick, quicker than you had wanted it to be but it was already dark and you knew how bad you got when you didn’t get enough sleep, so you relented.

“Well, you’re cute.” You laughed when Changbin rolled his eyes, turning around and proceeding to start to walk away.

He didn’t get far though before he turned back to you, “Good night, baby.”

Then it was your turn for your face to heat up, a soft, “good night” following him as he walked away. You waited until he was fully gone to shut the door, a small squeal leaving you. Jumping up and down you ran to your room, launching yourself onto the bed and burying yourself beneath the covers.

“Oh my god that actually happened.” You whispered to yourself after getting comfortable in bed. The comforter was enough to keep you warm from the winter outside, but you noticed nothing could compare to the warmth that covered you from head to toe when you were near Changbin.

As sleep took over, a smile fell on your face when you thought about Changbin and his messy hair and soft lips and dorky demeanor and how you couldn’t believe that he actually felt the same.

viii.

The next few days were filled with what you normally did: studying. Unlike the other times, however, you were much more cuddly with Changbin. Laying on one of the couches in the library, you would curl into a ball on his lap, the book open as you lazily read aloud. Changbin’s hand never left your back, fingers massaging your muscles, the occasional kiss being pressed to your forehead or cheek.

It was the last day of break. Tomorrow everyone would file in, the noise overwhelmingly different to the silence as you walked through the halls. It was bittersweet, you wanted your friends to come back and classes to start again, but after having been by Changbin’s side for almost the whole break, you didn’t want to go back.

You met Changbin in the Great Hall, smiling when you saw your chair moved again to be right next to his. The Christmas tree was still up, though you knew it would start to get taken down later that day. The fairies looked down at you two with a glint in their eyes. 

“Good morning, Binnie.” Sliding into the chair, you looked over at Changbin. His hair was still messy from sleep, cheeks just the slightest bit pink from where it had been pressed into the pillow. He gave you a sleepy grin, puckering his lips and waiting for you to catch on. You leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. A loud squeal came from the tree, the fairies whispering in an annoyingly shrill almost silent voice.

“Morning, baby.” Changbin responded, fingers playing with the edge of your scarf, noticing that it was still the yellow one that he had given you the first day you met. “Have I told you how much I like seeing you wear this?”

“No, but at least I know now.” Although the scarf covered the chain of your necklace, you could still see the glint of the dark orb resting right underneath the yellow fabric. You could still smell his distinct odor of cinnamon and pine needles, a scent that you had come to associate with the warmth that spread through you, but it was fading. “You’re going to have to take it back soon.” You said as your plate of breakfast waited in front of you.

Changbin was already eating, his cheeks full of pancakes and he turned to you, mouth almost dropped open and food almost spilling out. He took a moment to chew and swallow before frowning. “Why?”

“It’s starting to not smell like you anymore.” You said nonchalantly, picking apart your pancake and beginning to eat. A soft chuckle came from next to you, and before you could turn your head to question why he laughed, his lips connected with your cheek.

“You’re cute, baby.” Was all he said, going back to eating and you eventually followed, a smile and shake of your head preceding it.

After you had finished eating, you found yourself in the same place as the previous few days, strolling back into the library, one of your hands gripped tightly in Changbin’s and the other holding onto a History book that you found stuffed in one of your drawers. How it got there, you would never know, but you knew when you were done skimming it and eventually snapping it shut when you got tired of the boring history terms that it would go right back to where you found it. 

You set the book on the table, letting go of Changbin’s hand and walking down the aisles in search of another book, one that had been recommended by the Divination teacher to help with her class. Having been in the library almost every day for the last three weeks, you knew where more things were, but this one you couldn’t get your hands on. Surely it was there, your teacher wouldn’t recommend it if she knew it wasn’t.

Your search was interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping around you, warm breath making you shiver. “Hey.” Changbin said simply, pulling you back into him. “It’s cold without you.” You could feel the pout through his voice, and you turned around in his embrace.

“I was just looking for this Divination book, but I can’t find it. I think it disappeared.” You looked up the aisle, trying to remember where it could be but coming up blank.

“The OWL for Divination is easy, all you have to do is look in the bottom of a cup and tell her what you see.” Changbin explained, and he wasn’t wrong, your teacher did say there was no wrong answers, so surely everyone would pass, but you couldn’t help to feel like somehow you would see something wrong or that by some sort of cruel stroke of misfortune she would fail you. 

“Besides, you’re too smart to worry about failing, you’ll probably get the top score in everything.” Changbin closed the small distance between you, his lips connecting with your forehead. In turn, you closed your eyes, smiling at the feeling of his thumbs pressing small circles into your back and cool breath fanning over your face. “If anything,” he started as he pulled away, “I need you to tutor me.” 

“I guess I can do that.” You wriggled out of Changbin’s grasp, walking back to the couch and grabbing the book you had set there earlier. Changbin closely followed, sitting on the couch and holding out his arms for you to fit into. 

You sat with your back resting on the arm of the couch, Changbin’s legs comfortably underneath you and his arms snaked around you. The book sat on your legs, one of his hands coming to play with the pages when he saw fit. Instead of exchanging any other words, you started reading a chapter, trying not to let your face heat up when you looked up to see Changbin’s eyes trained on you. 

It wasn’t like he had much else to look at, it was just snow and trees outside and the endless rows of books inside, but it was more of the look he had rather than the fact that he was looking at you. A soft grin stretched his lips, tilting up at one side. His eyes shifted from your eyes to your necklace - that you had yet to take off - and eventually settling on your lips. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” You asked quietly, watching as his cheeks began to gain a bit more color to them. 

“You’re just really pretty.” He shrugged, eyes falling down to the book in your lap. Instead of trying to read sideways, he resorted to tracing the lines of the map at the top of the page.

“I think you’re pretty too, Binnie.” Your lips found his nose, chuckling when his face turned into a deeper red. “But we really should try and get some studying in, there’s only one more day left of break.”

His face morphed into a deep frown, eyebrows tugging into the center of his face. You knew what he was thinking, and you mirrored the same sentiment. After everyone came back you would be forced to sit at your house tables, looking at each other across the Great Hall and wishing you were able to slide in the seat next to him. Reading his mind, you raised your hand up to his cheek, your thumb tracing his cheekbone. His skin was still warm underneath your fingers.

“I don’t want break to end.” Changbin’s frown turned into a pout, head tilting forward to rest on your shoulder.

“I don’t either but it’s not like we won’t ever see each other again.” Your hand moved from his cheek to his hair, smoothing down strands that had stuck up into the air. 

“I know.” He sat back up, the pout still deeply etched onto his face. “I’m gonna miss just us being here, though. We’ve only had a week alone to be cute and coupley.” You laughed at that, and his pout only stuck out more. “It’s not funny.” He dragged out the last syllable.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You’re just cute.” You countered, looking back down at the book in your lap. “We’ll still be able to be ‘cute’ and ‘coupley’, don’t worry. I think we should get back to studying though, how about we have a quiz?” You suggested, flicking through the book until you got to a section you had read to him before. 

So you read a section out loud again, watching out of the corner of your eye as Changbin looked up at the air, mouthing what you could only assume was dates and names to try and remember them. As soon as you finished the passage you turned your attention to Changbin, finding him still peering into the ceiling.

“What happened to the classes at Hogwarts in 1965?” You asked, knowing that you just went through it.

Changbin thought for a moment, his fingers drumming on your waist in an attempt to come up with an answer. “Oh!” His eyes lit up, a smile on his face as he turned to you. “The roof fell through from the heavy snowfall and so classes were canceled for a while to fix it.” 

You nodded, leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to his lips, his reward for getting the question right. You continued on with your questioning, rewarding him with a kiss every time he got one right. 

Eventually he began to drift off, his head bobbing up and down as he tried to think of an answer but instead was met with a soft tap to the forehead and you telling him to “wake up”. It wasn’t until the fourth time of falling asleep and being woken up by you that he gave up.

“Fuck it.” He said, tapping your back in a signal for you to get off his lap for just a moment. Changbin turned so his head was resting against the arm of the couch, grabbing a pillow and pulling it so it cushioned his head. Falling back, he nestled into the couch with a sigh. Before his eyes closed fully, however, his arms raised, hands making a grabby motion and you knew you weren’t going to convince him to study anymore so you relented.

Setting the book on the table, you walked forward and squeaked when Changbin’s hands immediately grabbed your waist, pulling you down quickly. A grunt was released when your head hit his chest, the sound of his heartbeat the only thing you could hear besides your breath. He was comfortable, just the right amount of hard muscle and plush skin and you melted into his embrace. 

“Let’s just take a nap.” Changbin suggested from above you, his chin resting on the top of your head, although it was more of a statement than a suggestion. His voice vibrated through his body and you could feel instead of hear his voice.

You didn’t reply, instead opting for snuggling closer into him, the edges of your robe draping over you and creating a makeshift blanket. Though you didn’t need much else to warm you, as Changbin’s body heat was enough to make you feel warmth from your head to feet. His hands settled on your back, thumbs massaging your tense muscles gently. The pressure seemed to let off eventually, and you looked up to see he was fast asleep, mouth slightly open and eyes closed. You weren’t sure how long you had laid there, but it wasn’t long until you were following Changbin into dreamland.

“Baby.” You were awoken by Changbin’s voice in your ear, his hands going back to their normal place of tracing shapes on your back. His heartbeat beneath your ear was soniferous, causing your eyes to stay closed and for you to almost fall back into slumber. That was, until he said your name a little louder, his hands shaking your body that was lying fully on top of his. “Y/N, it’s time to get up, baby.”

“Don’t wanna.” Your voice was distorted due to your cheek being pressed into the junction between his neck and shoulder. During your sleep you nuzzled even closer to Changbin, your nose pressed against his neck and lips close to his collarbone. You pressed a quick kiss there, a lazy smile floating up when the boy below you squirmed. “You’re comfy.” Going back to your previous position, you tried to ignore all other tries to get you to wake up, only wanting to be cuddled closer and to fall back asleep.

“It’s nighttime and although there isn’t anybody here, I’m sure some of the ghosts will do patrols.” Changbin spoke softly, “And I don’t want us to get in trouble the first day after break.”

Although you really couldn’t have cared less about the ghosts, they rarely walked through the library anyways, some citing memories from their deaths in the history books and others just not bothering because who would be in the library this late, you lifted your head. You were met with pink cheeks, hooded eyelids and a seemingly drunken smile.

“Did you just wake up too?” Your voice came out more stable that time, yet you still felt the small hands of the sandman trying to tempt you again. When Changbin nodded you stayed silent, just admiring the boy laid out in front of you. One of your hands rested on his chest to keep you upright and you pushed yourself forward to kiss both of his cheeks. 

“We should head back to our dorms, I don’t wanna get caught, especially not by the Fat Friar or the Grey Lady.” Changbin moved his hands from your back to your waist, helping you in sitting up on the couch. He, in turn, tucked his legs under you and stood up. “I’ll help you back if you want?”

Sleep sounded nice, but sleeping while also cuddled into Changbin sounded even better. So you shook your head, hand sliding down Changbin’s arm to find his hand, not needing vision to fit your fingers together perfectly. “No,” You stood up, squeezing his hand slightly. “I want to stay with you.”

Changbin’s cheeks bloomed red again, a shy smile and quick ruffle of his hair coming and going before he looked back up to you. “Okay, okay. Do you want to sleep in my Common Room or yours?” The fact that he was willing to risk getting in trouble for you had your heart clenching.

“I’ve always wanted to see what the Hufflepuff Common Room looked like.” You said with a smile, almost jumping for joy when he began walking in the direction of his Common Room.

You swung your connected hands between you, an excited skip in your step knowing that you wouldn’t have to cocoon yourself in your blanket to keep warm. The thought came though, that you wouldn’t be able to do that when break ended, and a frown etched itself into your face. The frown stayed there until you got to the door to the Common Room, when your lips straightened into a line.

Changbin looked over at you, hand immediately finding some switch behind a barrel that sat next to the door. You knew there was some sort of code or button or something to get into the room, Seungmin had told you a story of his first time trying to find it, but you didn’t know it was there. A smile was quickly flashed to him as you tried to not let him know what you were thinking.

As soon as the door opened, however, you forgot everything you had been thinking about, a loud gasp leaving your lips. 

You hadn’t ever seen the Hufflepuff Common Room, just getting a picture in your head from what Seungmin had described it as, but wow, did it look way better than anything Seungmin could have said. 

It had a low ceiling made of what looked like oak wood, with a simple chandelier hanging directly in the middle. The light from said chandelier reached every nook and cranny in the room, making everything bright and giving you a rush of energy. You understood why Hufflepuffs always seemed to be smiling. Scattered throughout the room were comfy looking chairs and couches, though there was a small circle of furniture around the fireplace, which was always slowly burning. 

The whole room was shrouded in a light yellow color, from the rounded walls to the fabric of the furniture. A soft orange spilled from the fireplace area, and you were immediately drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. 

“Woah.” You were still observing everything around you as Changbin led you to one of the couches by the fire. Small potted plants sat on tables along with small stacks of books. It was unusual that they had plants in the Common Room but weren’t allowed any in their private rooms, and you were glad you got Changbin the plant globe so he could have them by his bedside.

“It’s not much, but it’s comfy.” Changbin shrugged, sitting down in the middle of the muted yellow couch, pulling you down so you sat on his lap.

“What do you mean?” You continued looking around, seeing the thick layer of snow outside the windows. “It’s so relaxing to sit in here, I could fall asleep right away.”

“Well let’s do that then.” The hand that was clasped in yours let go, moving you so you laid in the same position as in the library. The couch you were laying on was much larger than the previous one, with much softer looking pillows. Not that you needed a pillow, you had Changbin who was like your own personal firm but soft pillow.

After a little bit of moving you settled with your nose pressed back into the column of Changbin’s neck, one of your hands sitting on his chest. As you laid there, you traced small shapes into his skin, chuckling when he started to shake. “I’m ticklish.” He had stated as an excuse, but you continued the small touches, only scaling back slightly because the feeling of his muscles under his shirt was comforting, more so than the color of the room or the lighting hitting the walls.

“Goodnight, baby.” was the last thing you heard before you let yourself fall into sleep once again.

viiii.

You woke up to the sounds of furniture being moved. It was extremely loud, echoing through the soon to be full hallways and traveling out into the snow. Instead of jumping up and exploring the noise, you settled in Changbin’s arms, not wanting to get up and face the reality of the day.

His hands were loosely resting on your hips, no longer adding pressure or drawing invisible pictures. You could feel his chest raising and lowering with each deep breath he took. When you lifted your head up you noticed the same pink tint to his cheeks and you kissed each of them, trying hard not to wake him up just yet. 

The noise continued on, and you decided to get up, your eyes already ridding themselves of the Sandman’s dust and your mind already ready to start the day that you had been dreading since the beginning of break: the end of break. 

You slowly lifted yourself off of Changbin, putting your hands on either side of his waist and swinging your feet to the floor. Luckily the carpet swallowed most of the noise of your footsteps as you walked out of the room. You thought about what would happen when Changbin woke up and you weren’t there, but you also knew that he would know where to find you.

The walk to the Great Hall seemed longer than any other time you’ve had to do it, and you looked on at the paintings, some of them not in their frames and others posed perfectly in anticipation for everyone coming back to the castle. Once you got to the hard stone of the hallway floors, your footsteps echoed underneath the ongoing noise. It came to a crescendo when you reached the doors to the Great Hall, finding what you expected.

The giant Christmas tree that once stood in the middle of the room was gone, the fairies that once danced on its branches stood on the lanterns hanging from the ceiling. They held their hands up like puppet masters, and you realized they were the ones moving the long tables back into the Hall. Everything was being turned back into normal, and while you were happy to go back to the routine, you also knew you would miss being one of the only people in the castle. 

“You scared me.” A voice came from beside you, but you weren’t shocked, only a nod coming as a response. Changbin stood beside you, his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you into him. “It seems like just yesterday I saw you eating with your friends and now here we are.” His eyes never left the moving tables, but yours trailed to his face. Had he known of you for that long?

Before you could ask, however, Changbin smiled. “I’ve had a crush on you for a while.” He shrugged, looking at you. The noise had calmed down, but he still leaned closer as if he was trying to talk over it. “I just never thought you would know who I was, so I kinda gave up.”

The scraping of the tables on the wood floor stopped, and you looked to see everything settled into place, just as it was before. You walked towards the Ravenclaw table, feeling Changbin’s presence next to you as you sat down.

“Well here we are now.” You said simply, leaning your head on your hand and peering sideways at Changbin. 

“Yep, here we are now.” Changbin stared at the Hufflepuff table in front of him. “So,” he started, not switching his focus from the table. “Are you okay if my friends know about us? You don’t have to meet them right away, they tend to come pretty late back from break anyways.”

The statement was kind of obvious, you noted. There was no reason for you to hide your relationship, if anything, your friends would be ecstatic to see you had met, and gotten very acquainted with, Changbin. Especially Jisung. Okay, maybe Jisung could be in the dark for a little bit. You weren’t ready to say he was right.

“Of course, I don’t think there’s any reason to hide it, do you?” The hand on your waist squeezed softly, almost in reassurance. “As long as you’re okay with my friends knowing? I mean, one of them is a Hufflepuff, you might know him, and the other two are very,” You paused, trying to find the right word to describe Luna and Jisung, “interesting.” 

“Of course, I want them to know about us. My friends are all Gryffindors, three of them. One was my lab partner in Potions, he’s two years younger than me, and then another one is a year younger and the other is a year older.” Changbin counted off his friends, not giving much detail except what year they were in.

“That’s an interesting combination.” You chuckled, trying to think of any Gryffindors you knew of. Having nothing come to mind, you gave up, knowing you would see them soon. “There’s not much more time left until everyone arrives.” There was a sad note to your voice.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin smiled as he asked it, his full face now on display as he turned his body to face yours. Instead of responding, you just leaned forward, connecting your lips and letting them rest there for a moment. Changbin was taken aback, a soft, “okay” mumbled against your lips before he kissed back. The hand that wasn’t on your waist was cupping your cheek, while your two hands rested on his shoulders, thumbs pressing into his collarbones. 

Your lips moved together in sync for who knows how long. Time didn’t matter when you were near Changbin, all that mattered was that he was there and that hopefully he would be there for a long time. You lost yourself in him, only focusing on the soft cotton of his robe underneath your fingers, the smooth glide of his lips on yours, and the way your skin heated up where he was touching you. 

The sound of a train horn made you pull away, your face hot and you were sure you mimicked Changbin’s red cheeks. You smiled at him, letting your fingers trail to the back of his neck and play with the short hairs at the nape. Landing one last kiss on the tip of his nose, you turned to the door, watching as some students already started piling in and sitting at their house table. 

You heard Jisung before you even saw him, his loud voice talking about something you couldn’t quite distinguish, but you knew it was him. Then you saw his hair, now a light blond, walking along with blue hair, Luna. Standing up, you grabbed Changbin’s hand, giving it a light squeeze and preparing yourself for the bombardment of hugs and questions you would get.

“Y/N!” The loud scream came from Jisung, startling the still small amount of students in the Hall. He came running up to you, causing you to let go of Changbin’s hand and use both of yours to brace yourself for the body crashing into you. 

It doesn’t mean you were ready for the body crashing into you, though. Almost falling over, you wrapped your arms around Jisung, a large smile making your cheeks hurt. There weren’t any words being exchanged, except for nearly silent “hello”s as Luna also came up behind Jisung and joined in on the hug. 

When Jisung pulled away, his eyes trailed from your face to Changbin standing next to you, his hand hovering over the small of your back. You said nothing, letting Jisung put the pieces together. You knew he figured it out when his mouth hung open.

“So now I know what you were doing instead of reading my owl messages and replying to me!” Jisung held your shoulders, shaking you slightly. “And I told you so!” He said the last part a bit louder, and you felt your face heat up. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure. You said something.” You rolled your eyes.

“I said a lot of stuff, all of which seemed to be correct by the looks of things.” Jisung stared down at Changbin’s hand on your back before following the hand to find it’s owner staring at him, a small smile on his face. “Oh, sorry I’m rude. I know you but you probably don’t know me, I’m Jisung, Y/N’s best friend and I was right about you two.”

“I’m Luna!” Luna said from behind Jisung, her hands holding her cage with her pet owl. 

“Nice to meet you guys. And you were right about what?” Changbin asked Jisung, and you whipped around to him, trying to tell him to not ask about anything Jisung said, but it was already too late.

“I found out you were staying behind along with our lovely friend here, and me, being the amazing lovebird I am, said she should have some fun instead of just spending it all studying.” Jisung explained, clapping at himself and you shook your head laughing. Luna came up behind Jisung, nodding along to everything he said.

“I think the only reason why we’re dating is because you weren’t here to be my wingman anymore.” You jabbed his side with your elbow. “Can we sit down? You guys look tired from the train ride.”

Jisung and Luna nodded, turning around to walk to the other side of the table. While they did that you turned to Changbin, face heating up when you saw he was smiling at you. “You talked about me before we met?”

“Don’t get so flattered, Jisung was exaggerating just a little bit.” You pouted, sitting down and leaning into his side.

“Even if he was exaggerating, I think it’s cute.” Changbin commented, kissing your temple and watching Jisung and Luna weave through students, now followed by Seungmin with very messy hair and an annoyed look on his face. “We can meet my friends later if you want.”

“Sure, that sounds good.” Your head stayed on Changbin’s shoulder as your friends finally sat in front of you. No one said anything at first, but the expressions on their faces told all. Jisung, of course, had a very I told you so face on, one eyebrow raised and a smirk playing on his lips. Luna was looking between you and Changbin and smiling, while Seungmin’s mouth hung open at the sight of the boy sitting next to you. “What happened to you?” You questioned Seungmin, watching as his face turned from one of surprise to one of annoyance.

“My sister’s cat decided to fall asleep on my head and then my alarm didn’t go off so I didn’t have time to fix my messed up hair before I had to catch the train.” Seungmin shook his head, trying desperately with his hands to smooth down his hair before giving up with a huff.

“Just use a spell.” Luna shrugged, running a hand through her blue hair. As she did so, the colors seemed to change slightly, and you realized she must have used a new magic dye to turn her hair even more colors under different lights. 

“It’s okay, we don’t go back to classes until tomorrow so I can just take a shower when I get back to the Common Room.” Seungmin shrugged, waiting a moment before directing his attention to Changbin. “So, I’m assuming you two are a thing?”

Changbin just nodded, the arm around your waist tightening while you just scooted closer to him. “Yeah, she couldn’t resist my Hufflepuff charms.” Your arm came around to lightly smack his stomach, all of your friends laughing as you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah I couldn’t resist the plant nerd.” You patted his stomach where you hit him just seconds earlier. All your friends laughed again, and you felt a soft vibration of Changbin chuckling as well. You were so glad your friends liked him and got along with him, and you were glad that you had decided to give him a chance.

You looked up at Changbin, finding his nose scrunched up in a fake pout and you gave him a quick peck on the cheek to try and satiate him. When you pulled away you saw Jisung push his palms into his cheeks, a loud “awe” sounding throughout the room as he looked between you. Although your cheeks lit up, you stuck your tongue out at Jisung. “You’re just mad I didn’t need you as my wingman.”

“If I was your wingman you two would have been together for a year by now.” Jisung dodged your hand coming across the table, holding his hands up in fake defeat. “Well you are very cute together, like I said before break but of course some people just don’t appreciate genius.” He shook his head, looking down at his hands and then leaning back to pet his owl in its cage. 

You decided not to argue anymore, instead just listening to your friends tell their stories of Christmas spent with family. Changbin’s hand stayed firmly on your waist, his cheek resting on your shoulder. Sometimes he would interject with a statement or a joke and you smiled at how perfect he fit into the group. 

The warmth that you noticed at the beginning of the break when you first saw Changbin was still there, but instead of a burning heat it was a comforting warmth that filled your whole body to the tips of your fingers and toes. It was like you didn’t have to worry about being cold ever again when Changbin was around, even if you weren’t touching him, just him looking at you made you begin to heat up. 

You could have almost fallen asleep there at the table with your head resting on your hand, but you fought against it, trying to stay active in the conversation while also enjoying just being close to him until you had to eventually separate and go to your own Common Rooms.

You knew when you got back to your Common Room that Jisung and Luna would bombard you with questions, and you were happy to answer them. Through the break you had the best time ever, and you were going to have to thank Jisung for telling you that you should have fun, because that’s exactly what you did, and in the process you found someone that made you feel a comfortable warmth that you couldn’t describe but you loved. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin whispered in your ear while Jisung and Seungmin argued over some sort of history fact.

Looking up at him, you smiled, fighting the urge to press your lips to his again and again. Instead, a simple answer came to mind, and you spoke just as softly as he did, not wanting anyone else to hear. It was what you were thinking about since you met Changbin, and every day since then. It was what you thought in the morning and at night and every second in between. It was a simple answer, but you knew it would get the message across.

“You.”

[returnsandreturns]

@scumrunner asked for matt/foggy mutual pining and it ended up being law librarian!foggy AU which i hope is cool? it lives in my head and i jumped on the chance to enact it.

"You need to sleep," Foggy says. 

Matt would be annoyed because--yeah, he's aware, he must look like he's about to lose it at any second--but he likes that Foggy cares enough to say it.

"I'll sleep when I'm dead," he says, muffled with a pencil between his teeth and an armful of books that he drops unceremoniously onto the counter. 

"I'd miss you too much if you died," Foggy says, reaching up to pluck the pencil out of his mouth and drop it next to the books.. Matt feels a little startled, face getting hot. It feels weirdly significant that Foggy definitely just touched some of his saliva. Also, gross. But significant. "How many exams do you have left?" 

"All of them," Matt says, gravely.

"Will you make a deal with me?" Foggy asks, after a second. 

". . .maybe," Matt says. 

"Good future lawyer instincts," Foggy says, laughing. "If you let me show you the best place to nap in this library, I'll give you these books." 

"I'm pretty sure you're legally obligated to give me these books no matter what," Matt says, but he's smiling despite himself. He really likes Foggy. He'd probably try to figure out a way to be actual friends with him if he wasn't drowning in his course-load and way too busy to interact with humans that can't directly benefit him academically. 

Jesus Christ, he might be turning into a robot. 

"Sometimes the laws are wrong, Murdock, and you have to break them to do what's right," Foggy says, serenely, sweeping the books into a pile before rounding the desk and resting a warm hand on his shoulder. "Want to take my arm?"

Sometimes, Foggy will help him along when they're searching for something in the labyrinth of materials in the archives downstairs. He swears that it's haunted and that's the reason books end up scattered around the floor; Matt very purposefully does not tell him that he can hear people having sex down there more often than not. 

Matt's expecting Foggy to take him to a quiet corner or something but he just leads Matt behind the desk and into the office. 

"We're so understaffed that I'm basically the only one here at night," Foggy says. "If you need to crash for a minute, our crazy comfortable couch is all yours." 

". . .really?" Matt asks, softly. He reaches down to touch old, cracked leather, fingers running over a soft woven blanket. 

"I meant it when I said I'd miss you if you die," Foggy says, almost equally as soft. 

If Matt was being honest with himself, he wouldn't be trying to ignore the fact that the way he feels with Foggy being so nice to him, standing so close to him, is more than just wanting to be friends or thinking he's cool. He--he thinks Foggy is really cool. He's just not sure he has time to handle whatever crisis he could be having at any moment, that he's maybe been putting off since some scattered incidents in undergrad that made him question his perhaps overly optimistic heterosexuality.

". . .I really could use a nap," he admits, smiling helplessly at the sound of Foggy's heart.

"Great," Foggy breathes, then, a little more measured, "That's--that's great. I'll leave you to it." 

Matt wonders if they can both fit on the couch. 

If he's being honest with himself, it sounds pretty nice.

*

Foggy offers to wake him up and does so by shaking his arm gently and saying his name in this voice that's--tender is the only word that Matt can use to describe it but it's really been awhile since anybody's treated him tenderly.

"Hey," he murmurs, smiling sleepily up at him.

"Good sleep?" Foggy asks. 

It's the best Matt's had in months.

"Can I take this couch home?" Matt asks. 

"No," Foggy says, laughing. "I need a good reason to lure you back here." 

Matt wants to tell him that it wouldn't take much to lure him, not if Foggy's the one doing it, but that would make things weird. Even if Foggy's not just being funny, he's probably not allowed to help library patrons explore their repressed urges. He doesn't really know what you learn in library school but there's probably some sort of code of ethics involved.

"Alright," Matt says, sighing and sitting up so the blanket falls off of him. "Can I have my books now?"

"They're on the table next to you," Foggy says. "I'm a man of my word." 

"I respect that," Matt says, finding his backpack and shoving as many books as he can inside of it before slinging it over a shoulder, tucking the remainder under his arm. "See you next time?" 

"Yeah," Foggy says, sounding like he's smiling. "See you, Matt." 

* Matt takes more naps in the next few months than he's ever taken in his entire life.

He also starts to imagine, when he can hear people getting off in the archives downstairs, that someday he might go down there with Foggy and push him up against a bookshelf and--do something to him. Definitely kiss him. Probably other things. His brain hasn't worked it out yet. 

Then, one day, when Foggy thinks Matt's asleep, he says under his breath, "Jesus, you're unfairly cute like that," in that same tender voice before he wakes Matt up. 

It's undeniable evidence that Foggy isn't just being nice. But--Foggy's so honest and open and warm and attractive and--oh, fuck..

Matt might be in love a little. If he's being honest with himself. 

But if Foggy wanted Matt to know how he felt, surely he'd tell him.  *  It's the last day of the semester, after finals and everything, when Foggy says something flirty and Matt, with the lunacy of someone who has slept almost exclusively in nap-form for weeks, says, "Do you have some kind of librarian rule where you can't sleep with your patrons?" 

". . .what?" Foggy asks. 

Admittedly, Matt just interrupted Foggy in the middle of a story that had nothing to do with them sleeping together. But they're here now. 

"Are you allowed to sleep with--I mean, date your patrons?" Matt asks. He's pretty sure he sounds pretty demanding but it's hard to stop. "Not sleep with. Or--yes, sleep with, if you're into that, but--" 

"Matt, there are no laws against me dating you," Foggy says, heart pounding in a really distracting way, sounding--amused or amazed or somewhere between those, "or sleeping with you. If you're into that."

"Why have you not said anything, then?" Matt asks. 

"Why haven't you?" Foggy asks, laughing. "You're inscrutable, Murdock. I didn't want to freak you out if you were just so comfortable in your heterosexuality that you didn't realize you were making me fall for you." 

Matt doesn't know how to articulate the fact that he's useless with emotions and also maybe an actual idiot about everything other than school so he reaches up to find Foggy's face with his hands and push up on his toes to kiss him over the desk. Foggy kisses back immediately, making a low sound that makes Matt want to drag him downstairs and blow him.

At some point, his fantasy settled on blowing him and he plans to enact it with a single-minded determinedness. 

"It probably--it probably is unethical to do this while I'm on the clock," Foggy says, panting out a laugh when they part, stroking Matt's hair before dropping his hand.

Matt kisses him one more time. 

"I can wait," he promises. 

[robininthelabyrinth]

continuation of Star Wars Wangxian AU - on ao3 or tumblr

-

The way of the Sith is the dyad, the rule of two: always two, no more, no less.

A master and an apprentice – one to represent the allure of the Dark Side of the Force, the other to serve as the baited, walking willingly into a trap. A pair of magnets, the moth and the flame; without each other, they were incomplete, unstable, and only together could they be considered complete.

Perhaps, Lan Wangji reflects, he should have considered this fundamental precept more thoroughly.

Certainly earlier.

If he had thought about it earlier, he could have taken steps, measures, something. Anything, really, as long as it wasn’t…

“Hey, Master! You’re back! Did you have a nice trip? Kill lots of people?”

…this.

“No,” Lan Wangji said, in the tones of one who knew suffering. The Dark Side rippled around him, thickening as he poured his frustration and annoyance into it – a complaint shared with the abyss, in a world where rage and despair only made the abyss stronger. “No deaths.”

The Sarlacc didn’t count.

Anyway, Wei Wuxian had been the one to kill it in the end, in order to enable them to escape. He’d almost looked like he’d felt bad about it, too.

Silly fool, Lan Wangji thought with far too much affection.

Though, speaking of silly fools...

Xue Yang grinned at him, his little tiger tooth making the otherwise vicious expression significantly less intimidating. 

Lan Wangji had observed that fact early in their acquaintance, and had resolved never to tell Xue Yang so as to let him continue to be frustrated by the apparently inexplicable fact that people never seemed to take him seriously at first glance. If Xue Yang ever figured it out and confronted him about it, he could even theoretically, at a stretch, justify it as additional Dark Side training.

“Sounds like a wasted trip, then,” he said. “I killed five.”

Lan Wangji met his gaze with a steady one of his own. “I do not recall instructing you to go on a mission.”

“Aww, but Master –”

Lan Wangji was newer to the Dark Side of the Force than Xue Yang, but he had the rigorous training of the Cloud Recesses behind him: he did not even need to reach out deliberately through the Force to oppress Xue Yang, driving him to his knees.

“It was a continuation of an earlier mission, Master! I wouldn’t disobey you intentionally –”

Lan Wangji released him. “Of course you would.”

Xue Yang looked up at him, grin back on his face. “Well, yeah. But not that obviously. I wouldn’t admit it to your face.”

He would, if he thought he could get away with it, and Lan Wangji permitted a look of skepticism to cross his face, though he did not comment aloud. 

“What mission?” he asked instead. Knowing Xue Yang as he did, there were very few missions that he had given in which murder was permissible, much less multiple murders. They were trying to keep a low profile, after all.

Xue Yang bounced to his feet. “I invaded another Hutt palace!” he announced gleefully, his eyes shining like stars. “Dressed up as a bounty hunter and everything!”

Xue Yang had once been a slave on a planet controlled by the Hutts, a dirty sandy place with little compassion for the young and none for the weak – and Xue Yang had been both. He had been bartered from one master to another until one careless owner had crushed his hand and his spirit at the same time, rendering him even more useless and condemning him to a terrible fate. No one wanted damaged goods, no one but those who wanted to break them further.

How Xue Yang went from that to being the apprentice of a self-styled Sith Lord, Lan Wangji was unsure beyond a basic understanding that Xue Yang had somehow risen up from his dire circumstances to massacre the entire clan of that particular owner. They had met only when Xue Yang was already in the midst of his training, a slightly gawky teenage delinquent who’d long ago learned that murder was the first, best, and only answer to all of his problems.

He’d tried to kill Lan Wangji, of course.

The circumstances had been admittedly been rather unusual. The Sith tradition called for dyads, a master and an apprentice in each set (though of course there could be more than one set of Sith, though rarely if ever on a level or in an area where they could challenge each other); the typical way of things for the Sith was that the apprentice struck down the master, rising to take on an apprentice of his own, or that the master tired of the apprentice and lured another promising would-be apprentice into Falling, with the typical test of a new apprentice being the slaughter of the old one.

Lan Wangji was strikingly idiosyncratic in that he had Fallen entirely on his own, without a master to guide him to the Dark Side. 

This did not mean he was without knowledge: the Lan sect, which prized learning, of course had a rich collection of treatises on what the Dark Side entailed, although they were meant to be read as warnings rather than guides. After he had had the Force vision of that terrible future, the future he would Fall to the Dark Side, had Fallen, rather than permit to take place, Lan Wangji had stolen several before departing the Cloud Recesses.

It was little surprise, then, that Xue Yang’s old master had put such effort into recruiting Lan Wangji as his own apprentice once he had discovered him.

Lan Wangji had had no patience for such nonsense. Rather than slaughter Xue Yang, who had clearly been incited against him, he had followed the traces back to their origin and killed the Sith master that Xue Yang followed instead.

Unfortunately, per the rule of two, that left Xue Yang without a master and Lan Wangji with the horrible realization that would-be Sith masters would be crawling out of the woodwork to attack him on a regular basis if he didn’t put himself in a dyad at once to prevent it. In the interest of not being harassed, and thereby distracted from his plans, he had recruited Xue Yang as his own apprentice, skipping the apprentice step entirely and becoming a master.

Perhaps that was why Wei Wuxian had called him a Sith lord, he mused. Wei Wuxian was sensitive to the Force, talented in it almost to extremes; maybe he could tell that Lan Wangji was in a position of dominance, rather than growth.

“ – it was great. Even with all the warnings from previous incidents, they were so arrogant, thinking it would never happen to them. Rotten slugs! The leader had a rancor in the dungeon under his throne, too; the thing was kept half-starved so that it’d turn on anyone that got dropped into its nest – wretched little space, I could barely move, much less a rancor –”

“I take it from your explanation that we now own a rancor,” Lan Wangji said, feeling somewhat pained.

Pained, but also gratified: he had been working on teaching Xue Yang the concept of empathy, reasoning that the truly psychopathic would never truly be able to connect with the rage, suffering, and pain that powered the Dark Side of the Force.

Only once Xue Yang understood love, understood it and lost it, could he truly understand the Dark Side as Lan Wangji did.

A pet was a good start.

“Uh, maybe? I mean, rancors are from Dathomir, which is pretty steeped in the Dark Side, so it’s almost like they’re a natural ally of the Sith –”

Rancors were semi-sentient five-meter tall reptiles that resembled boulders, with armored hides that could resist blasters and even light sabers at times, and while it was true that their home planet was rich in the Dark Side, home of assassins and Nightkin and murderers of all sorts, rancors themselves were actually quite friendly and non-combative as a general rule.

Not that Xue Yang knew that. 

“You will care for it yourself, without disturbing me,” Lan Wangji instructed, not wanting Xue Yang to dwell too long on whether or not what he had done was appropriate. Some people could only be coaxed, not coerced; Xue Yang’s former master had very nearly ruined him, teaching him all the wrong lessons about divesting oneself of emotions (the Sith way, of course: no emotions but hate) without any of the necessary context, and any future education needed to done cautiously to avoid Xue Yang becoming utterly consumed by the abyss, capable of nothing but lashing out, a rabid dog in need of being put down.

Lan Wangji was not in the market for another Sith apprentice.

Xue Yang, at least, was easy to manage: as long as he was permitted to vent his more murderous inclinations in the way he liked the most, pursuing the vile Hutt clan wherever they had set up their gangster dens full of corruption and rot, his attempts to overthrow Lan Wangji were half-hearted and disinterested, and the worst Lan Wangji would need to put up with was a bit of back talk.

“Of course,” Xue Yang said, grinning with teeth. “Wouldn’t want to keep you from your boy, would we?”

…not that the back talk wasn’t annoying.

“You are not permitted to speak of him,” Lan Wangji said coldly, but that never worked for very long. Xue Yang was an extremely disrespectful apprentice, although Lan Wangji supposed it was his own fault for rejecting the rigid hierarchy of the traditional master-apprentice relationship – of the entire concept of the Sith lord and the classist structure generally associated with it – and encouraging Xue Yang to similarly reject such things in favor of the anarchy of self-determination. “He is not yours to even think of.”

Perhaps a wiser man might refuse to let Xue Yang even know of such a weakness, but Lan Wangji was moderately sure that in an even fight – or even an uneven one – Wei Wuxian would have no difficulty putting Lan Wangji’s unruly, unwanted apprentice in his place.

“Yeah, yeah,” Xue Yang laughed. “I know: hands off, no touching. I still don’t get it. What’s so great about this one guy? The universe is full of people, even force-sensitives; if you’re so hung up on having a Jedi, why not go find one that’s a little more compromising?”

Because there is no one else like Wei Ying. There will never be anyone else for me, not ever – only him.

“One day you will meet someone who moves you,” Lan Wangji said placidly, a touch of his old talent for Force visions shimmering in his soul in confirmation of the dimly uncertain future. “And we will have this conversation again, when at last you understand.”

“Sure,” Xue Yang said, clearly disbelieving. “Whatever. Let me tell you about these two bounty hunters I met on my trip – a matched set, one in white and one in black - fuck, they were so annoying, you wouldn’t even believe –”

[prettywordsyouleft]

Reap The Rewards

Pairing: Lee Hoseok x reader

Genre: gym au / fluff

Warnings: talk of Wonho’s muscles lol (aka absolutely none)

A/N: Wrote this out of nowhere whilst on hiatus. Typically cliché and something I’m sure every Wonho fan would wish to happen to them too XD

I’m toying around with the idea of writing Monsta X with professions in the health sector. I already have an idea for Hyunwoo as a physiotherapist, but if you have any suggestions for the other members, feel free to let me know in a message or comment :)

Word count: 3512

Signing up for the gym hadn’t been all that hard. You knew you needed to get in shape since working from home meant you had too much access to your favourite chair, your other homely comforts and most importantly, your refrigerator and pantry.

Joining a gym, therefore, made a lot of sense. You would have a scheduled event to get out of your home office and move your body every day to prevent those cookies you had somehow misplaced whilst in the deep throes of your creations from becoming a staple visual around your hips. And whilst you didn’t have a huge social prerequisite to get by in life, well, making new friends whilst you were there didn’t seem like a bad idea either.

So the join up was logical. But that didn’t mean everything went according to your plan.

At first, you would turn up every morning, jump on to a cycle machine and start your cardio routine. You were familiar with gym equipment from a past attempt in fitness before your office job had gotten too hectic to continue attending one, and that meant you didn’t need any instruction on how to use the machines. You liked the independent nature of doing your own routine each day in the gym, and whilst you were satisfied with your efforts for turning up and doing a workout, you weren’t getting the results you wanted.

Perhaps you were still eating too much or maybe your body was rebelling against you.

You decided to take up the opportunity to see one of the gym’s trainers. After all, in your membership signup, you had been allocated a free session with one to see what programme would suit you best. It couldn’t hurt to get professional advice on how to exercise the best for your body shape and if you didn’t like their suggestions, you could continue to persevere with your own routine you had used for the past month and hope over subsequent weeks that changes would be more visual.

You knew you had a bit of a sweet tooth, but surely there could be a better balance in life for you.

Turning up for your session, you had been all smiles until you stepped into the trainer’s office. There were six trainers in total at your gym and admittedly when the office clerk had given you the option of who to see, you had just asked for the one who would help you the soonest. You weren’t impatient by nature yet you also didn’t want to change your mind whilst waiting to be slotted into a trainer’s busy schedule either.

Perhaps you should have been more carefree. Or paid attention to the name you had been given on your appointment card so you could have been more prepared. Because out of the six trainers, you had been assigned to the one who intimidated you the most.

“Hey Y/N, it’s nice to meet you!” he greeted with a friendly smile as you froze in the doorway, his smile only causing your heart to race faster than it did when you were on the cross-trainer. He outstretched his hand and by some miracle, you managed to grab onto it, though your palm was already sweaty. He shook it firmly – or perhaps it was a general handshake but your current resolve was too weak to handle it – and continued to smile enthusiastically at you. “My name is Hoseok and I hear you want to improve your lifestyle choices and exercise plan?”

You definitely wanted to improve in your current stupor, so blinking rapidly, you shot into the chair across from the small desk Hoseok had rounded and nodded just as fast. He chuckled and pulled up your file on the computer with a few clicks.

Whilst you sat there cursing yourself for signing up for a personal trainer.

It wasn’t the end of the world, Hoseok was talented at what he did. You had noticed him multiple times across the gym floor, helping sculpt the bodies of his clients with good results. But the only reason you knew this, was the same reason most of the women and even some of the male users of the gym also stopped and stared whenever Hoseok was in their area. The man was gorgeous from head to toe.

You had never been one for muscles, and the idea of you getting any of your own showing out from under the extra layers you carried around would be a bit of a miracle. However, Hoseok was something else. His body was the epitome of someone in good health. He obviously took an avid approach to ensure he exercised regularly, and when he wasn’t training someone else, he was often working on his own regime. Hoseok was the poster boy example of what taking fitness to another level looked like.

And now he was your trainer.

You gulped.

“It seems you’ve been doing really well to turn up regularly without any trainer plan in place so I applaud you for taking your health seriously enough,” he mentioned and you nodded again, trying to find your voice within your throat where it had gone into hiding. Hoseok pulled out a sheet of paper and picked up a pen, his gaze falling back to yours. Why was it suddenly hotter in this room? You had just reminded yourself that you were a capable woman who had quit her office job to become your own boss. You had the ability to work with anyone well under pressure and articulate yourself to ensure your thoughts were openly received.

Right now though? You were like a teenage girl with a crush on the cutest boy in school.

“What are your goals that you want to achieve here at the gym?”

You inwardly encouraged yourself to speak and cleared your throat. “I want to tone up.”

“That’s a good one,” he mentioned as you groaned inwardly at how obvious that had already been. Instead of making you feel ridiculous, Hoseok continued to assist you in coming up with more ideas towards your hopes from a tailored program. Somewhere along the way, you relaxed a little in his company, finally speaking more than four words at a time. However, you still weren’t quite used to the smiles that he kept shooting in your direction.

You were certain you wouldn’t even need to do any cardio today; your heart had been in the fat burning numbers since stepping into this office twenty minutes ago.

Hoseok looked over the notes he had jotted down and then looked back up at you, letting out a little sigh. “Well, I have all I need to know about what we need to work on but unfortunately now comes the part not many people like to do in the beginning. I need to take down your measurements.”

The minor relaxation you had been experiencing evaporated and you darted your focus to the scale over the other side of the wall. Hoseok was still talking to you and his tone was supportive, yet you were frozen to the chair. Of course, your trainer needed to know your starting weight and other measurements. It was how they helped you track your progress and would indicate what was working and what wasn’t.

But did Hoseok really need to know? You looked back at him and he chuckled. “I know, it’s not always a nice thing to know, but up you get. After this, we need to go out into the gym to look at a couple of exercises I’ve already thought of that will assist you.”

With trepidation, you got to your feet, slipped out of your shoes and stepped on the scales. You held your breath until he placed a hand on your shoulders which deflated you entirely. He laughed again but didn’t say anything, and as he took down the various numbers on the screen, you willed yourself to get a grip.

Just because your trainer was handsome, didn’t mean you had to act so apparent about it. You were certain Hoseok was used to being fawned over by a lot of women here at the gym and your response was probably no different. It irked you that you had lost the inability to remain decent around him already and propped yourself up, suddenly uncaring of how close Hoseok got as he wrapped the measuring tape around your waist.

Okay, so that was a lie. You did care. The smell of his aftershave was intoxicating but you wouldn’t allow yourself to fall feeble once again in his company today. You were here to improve yourself – mindset included.

And then Hoseok blushed lightly. “Here, would you be able to get the size of your bust for me? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable and I ask all my female clients to do this to remain appropriate at all times.”

You nodded and did as requested; even letting a small smile grace your lips at how endearing he appeared over this part in your measurements. He recovered faster than you had and soon he had you out in the gym trying out a couple of the exercises he had thought of.

“Well, you survived your session!” he joked, as he placed the clipboard he held under his arm and grinned at you. “I’ll see you tomorrow at nine, okay?”

“Sure,” you replied, though you were unsure entirely. Today had been a lot to take in. As you waved him off and headed for the cubicles that held your personal belongings, you wondered if you should stop off in the office to cancel the training program that you had just agreed to. You couldn’t just exactly change trainers. Hoseok would take offence to that. But you weren’t confident that you could handle being trained by him either. Sure, you had been able to pull off everything he asked of you, there was something about the tone he used and the endless smiles and chuckles that got you through all of his requests. But you were hyperaware whenever he came too close to show you how to do something more effectively and you hated that you had flinched more than once when he touched you.

Not to mention, every time you looked up into the mirrors, what you saw reflecting back didn’t inspire you at all. It was a shallow conclusion, yes, especially when Hoseok had gone onto his next client before you left and she happened to be toned in every way that complimented the image you saw of them in the mirrors. You couldn’t help but feel disappointed in how you looked next to him.

And you only had two options on how to change that. Either give up working with him or tackle the challenge until you looked good next to him.

Slumping down behind the wheel of your car, you didn’t know what to do.

You did turn up at the gym the following day, even though you had spent most of the night lying awake trying to think of plausible excuses to get out of going. You had even punched in the gym’s phone number an hour before leaving your house to ring and cancel your entire membership. You could simply find another gym to exercise at. Or rely on your favourite sugary friends to support you in your times of need. Who were you trying to get fit for anyway? Sure, personal health was important. But it was only yourself who would look back at you each day in the mirror.

You stood before that mirror for a good ten minutes before you decided you were worth it. You wanted to see yourself look healthier.

Hoseok greeted you warmly with your brand new exercise plan in hand as soon as you stepped into the gym. And one session with him turned into six. You had gotten used to his helpful guiding touches and expert advice during every session and no longer did you turn up at the gym anxious to be in his company. He made you laugh and you surprised him back with your joking ways. Your relaxed manner around him now four weeks into your program with Hoseok showed when you jumped up on the scales in front of him without a care.

Okay, so again, you did care. Not so much about what the numbers meant to him, but what they meant to you.

You know, the way it should be.

“Way to go, Y/N!” Hoseok applauded as you grinned at being yet another five kilograms lighter. He raised his hand for a high five which you slapped generously. “You’ve done so well!”

“It’s a small step in the right direction,” you agreed and your trainer shook his head.

“No, this is a big step. Don’t think of it as small steps. Each time you get up on here and see your weight has dropped, you need to celebrate it. You worked hard for it!”

You were beaming for the rest of the day after that.

And when your eight week training programme came to an end, you were back in the office you had started out in, going through everything you had achieved over the past two months of active work and good nutrition. Sure, you still had the odd treat, but the cookies had been replaced with fruit and most days you didn’t even miss them.

Hoseok looked up at you and smiled. You frowned, today’s smile wasn’t as jubilant as usual and there was a pink tinge to his cheeks that you had rarely seen when you had surprised him too much or that one time he had asked for you to do your bust measurement. His reactions intrigued you and you leaned forward instinctively in your chair, as if getting a closer look would make you understand why he was turning timid suddenly.

“Well, congratulations on successfully making it to the end of this training programme, Y/N.”

“It’s not the end of my training though,” you assured, wondering if he believed this was the last time you’d work with him and that’s why he was being like he was. You already had plans to continue on with him as your full trainer.

“I’m really glad to hear that,” he agreed and you frowned.

“Why do I feel there is a but ready to come from your mouth?”

Hoseok shot you a wistful smile before slowly saying, “But.”

“But?” you repeated when nothing else followed.

“Can we stop saying but?” he asked with a chuckle and you grinned at him.

“You started it.”

“Technically it was you,” he retorted but sighed instead of continuing with his humour. “This ends our training journey together.”

Wait, what?

Hoseok was your trainer. He was here to train you. Well, you and many others. But he couldn’t just leave you now! You had a lot of goals to achieve and he had done so well at supporting you through them. How were you meant to go on in your fitness journey without him?

Maybe he had a new job. That was the only plausible reason he was saying he couldn’t train you anymore. You nodded firmly. “If you’re moving gyms I’ll just come with you as I like your-”

“I’m not leaving this gym, Y/N,” he interjected, raising his hands up to accompany his statement. He smiled at your now perplexed expression. “Though I’m honoured to hear you would leave this gym to follow me.”

“Saying it like that makes it sound like I idolise you or something,” you muttered with a blush and he shook his head.

“No, it sounded genuine. You want to succeed, I get it. I just… I can’t keep training you.”

“Is there some sort of rule where you have to cycle through all the trainers here so you learn different things from different approaches?” you wondered and Hoseok shook his head sadly. He started to fidget with the pen in his hand and retreated a little, only concerning you further. Had you done something? Maybe your train of thought before was right. You had admired him in the beginning too much for how he looked. But after getting to know the man on the inside as well, you didn’t really focus on his well-defined torso anymore.

Well, not as much anyway.

“Y/N, I don’t think it’s ethically right for me to train you anymore.”

“Ethically?”

He nodded, now embarrassed.

“I’m not following you, can’t you just tell me why without skirting around the issue? So I can understand why you-”

“I think I like you.”

You didn’t understand that at all. Stunned, you merely stared at the man across from you and Hoseok rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I don’t think, I mean, I know. I like you. So I’ve decided it would be in your best interests to work out with someone else.”

“So you can stop liking me?” you asked, though you felt as if you were having an out of body experience and listening to yourself speak from a distance. The idea that Hoseok liked you felt as if you were dreaming. Had you just died on the treadmill and this was your parting fantasy before you moved onto the next realm in your existence? That would make more sense than this actually being a reality.

But when you pinched yourself, it truly hurt. And because you still didn’t believe in this, you pinched yourself again, letting out a small yelp.

Hoseok chuckled. “Did you really have to do that?”

“Can you blame me? Someone like you just said you liked me.”

“Someone like me? Please don’t tell me you’re like every other person in here who thinks of me as some muscle man who can be their trophy they sling over their arm too. I thought we had something more genuine.”

You rapidly shook your head and hands, your cheeks flooding with colour. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. Sure, you’re gorgeous and anyone can see that!”

Hoseok’s small smile only made you babble further to save yourself. “But I meant me. I’m not a match. Look at me, I’m all wobbly and definitely a work in progress and-”

“Beautiful. You’re beautiful,” he admitted and you snapped your mouth shut, swallowing back the rest of your sentence.

“No,” you eventually breathed, shaking your head softly. “I’m not really.”

“If you don’t see how much you’ve transformed over the last eight weeks and how beautiful you are each day in the mirror, then I’m worried about your mindset as a trainer.”

You went to respond and then shut your mouth instead. You didn’t know what to say.

“Not to say you weren’t always beautiful, Y/N. I was kind of nervous the first day you stepped in here.”

Glancing up at Hoseok then, you widened your eyes to see him blushing. “Wait, really?”

“Yes really. I was worried you would ring up the next day and cancel working with me because I giggled too much and acted really odd. Part of me was kind of hoping you would, though I was relieved when you did turn up. It meant you weren’t put off by me.”

If only he knew half of the turmoil you had gone through back then.

You blinked slowly, taking in everything he had said. You then glanced up at him. “So, you don’t want to train me any more because you like me and feel it’s unprofessional?”

He nodded once.

“And if you don’t train me, then you won’t have to like me anymore?”

Hoseok leaned back in his chair and then laughed heartily. “How on earth did you come to that conclusion?”

“Well, I just thought that you wanted to avoid those feelings so that’s why you’re letting me go as a client!”

“I was hoping that removing our client-trainer relationship could lead to something else.”

“Like a date?” you asked and Hoseok nodded, this time less certain.

“Like a date.”

“You want to date me?”

“Are we going to keep going around in circles?” he asked with another chuckle and you shook off your stupor. “I just don’t want others to think I’m giving you special treatment if I train you. And Miriam has a slot free for a client and is very good. Plus, she trains at the same time as I do, so when you’re finished with your session…”

“We could go have smoothies together from the gym cafe?” you concluded and Hoseok laughed. You pouted. “What, I always have wanted to do that after working out with you.”

“Really?” His face lit up and now Hoseok was the one leaning towards you. “You’ve thought of doing things with me too?”

“Don’t let it go to your head; you’re the one who admitted to liking me first.”

“But you like me back, right?”

You smiled, shrugging lightly and he gaped at you. “I’ll guess we’ll have to see how smoothies go before you can get a definite answer out of me.”

_________________

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[bionicdragonguardian1]

Voltron Rewritten Defender (1/8)

Also known as My Almost Raging Bitch List for this Goddamn Disastrous Disappointment of a Show

I binged all 8 seasons in under a week, so believe me when I say almost nothing was forgotten between seasons/episodes and I do tend to note that.

If it’s not obvious by the title, I’m planning an entire show AU. I am extremely open to people’s opinions on what I’m currently thinking and when I finally post this I’ll be open to criticism there too. If you would like to avoid seeing anything in regards to this feel free to blacklist #voltron_rewritten_defender because that’s what I’ll be using for this whole thing.

Enjoy, I guess.

Fair warning I am a multishipper, but for this show I leaned towards Klance, so if that bothers you that’s okay, I’m not going to be bashing any other ships (mainly just Dreamworks’ forced Allurance). If you think I missed something for any other ship lemme know! If you wanna have a ship discussion that’s cool too. The only other thing I can think of is that Allura’s attitude in S8 really stuck with me to the point that she bothered me throughout the entire rewatch (I was admittedly one of the people who thought she could be very Mary Sue ish when I first watched this) so that’ll show up now and again.

If you want to look at the Google Doc for the whole show, click the link, if not you can expand this post to see Season 1. I’ll be doing these in chunks, but as some of you know I do a FicRecList on one of my other accounts here @sorcerusdragonbionics​ so I’m gonna be alternating between that and these for the next couple days.

If you do the Google Route it’ll have you ask me for permission, this is normal and if you request it I’ll give you commenting abilities.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t30IRJonrBFh0qvs8recf3ayGoQ0rx02y0Tg1e4NTaI/edit?usp=sharing

Key

Things I kinda wanna bitch about

Things I did genuinely enjoy and like 

Rewatch Thoughts (basically what I remember from further forward and how I feel like it reflects back on earlier seasons)

Ship Talk (behold my multishipping insanity)

Things I think I’ll do in the Rewrite

Writing Notes (mainly for me or as explanation for what I’m planning)

VA and Closed Captioning Things

Other Fic Thoughts

This ended up being music commentary in S8

Season One

Problems with the Season overall:

To be honest if I hated this season I wouldn’t’ve kept watching because by the time I started S3 had just dropped

Episode 1

Here’s the deal, WHY ARE YOU SO LONG BUT SO EMPTY?!?

Yeah, nope, that’s mostly it

Fix the problem of telling instead of showing about the other Lions and remove Allura’s explanation of the Lions if possible (thank you Kross for explaining why it felt so empty- this vid is actually where I started getting the idea to actually go through with a full series AU)

DON'T RUSH THE LION INTROS

Also let the 5 introduce themselves to Allura and Coran

Also Character Drive to Complete Mission Should Be A Thing

Flesh out Paladin Personalities so that the Aris Arrival is End of Part One (making it closer to the length of E1)

Flesh out Lion intros so part 2+3 are more like full Eps without Sendak

Episode 2

75 degrees… that’s definitely in Fahrenheit, which why?

How does no one have a watch with a date on them?

“A man can be driven to do anything if a beautiful woman is just really really mean to him”

More inbetween scenes bc I can

I will accept the transformation sequence here, I’m just not going to write it

Episode 3

Please watch the use of Earth Time Slices please, because it’s confusing

I love the portrayal of PTSD in this show and I would die before I change it

Bye bye transformation sequence

Pidge’s talk with Shiro can please change

Episode 4

“I say Vol, you say Tron” will come up again if it kills me

Lance, how do you know what hotdog water and feet taste like?

I love how Coran is completely nonchalant about the fact that he’s drinking a hair tonic

Shiro, don’t bring down the mood

Goddammit Sendak, you could stay for this arc, but god I want you GONE!

Keith, having an emotion? Really?

The Pidge plot DID NOT NEED TO HAPPEN LIKE THAT!

Fight me I will change it

Or minimally change the fact that their selfish motivations are revealed to BAD and should be changed

Oh yeah, let’s not give the ONE GUY with notable homesickness a character arc around that

That moment when you realize Allura is like ‘wtf is a peanut’

Allura, don’t push it, some people don’t want to talk about it

You will have something to talk about, BIOLOGY

Decryption happens here, and next attempt to find family occurs… when?

Poor Coran, if there is anyone who was more forgotten than Lance it was him

Keith isn’t wrong, but he also doesn’t know how to say it without getting mad, which mood

Just pointing out Lance is not only smart, but selfless, tell me how he’s not the main character

My inner Shance/Klance shipper is sobbing

“Bomb fuel” mentioned here, occurs… actually it’s ok

Timelines need to be a thing!

Can I make the fight scenes more intense? Yes, I write them for my YJ Scripts. Will I? Almost definitely.

Keith with that much fire your mask should be closed because smoke inhalation is bad

Can we explain Vrepit Sa before s6?

It feels like Coran forgets that 10k years have passed under an evil empire and part of me likes it, but it hurts me

Episode 5

The Katie flashback is hurts me

I want to add Gender Identity

Can we talk about how Shiro is a nickname for Takashi Shirogane?

That’s not how an EMP works

The Coran sitting on Hunk’s shoulders with a machine gun is everything

I know the back x-ray was a joke, but I still don’t like it

Rax is an idiot, just saying

Bonding Moment!!!

Episode 6

“Intergalactic time measuring competition.”

“We had a bonding moment!”

Where is Sendak’s arm?

Fight me, Pidge’s ‘gender speech’

It will be a gender speech if it kills me

Lance, why are you acting the way you are?

“I figured” and “We were supposed to think you were a boy” ARE NOT PROPER REACTIONS!

Rolo, sometimes I want to punch you in the teeth

Lance’s boner is going to get someone killed

Lance had 4sec of logic and then Nyma brings up Keith, which ofc does him in

Let’s expand on the Komar, yeah?

Quiznack means fuck and NO ONE can tell me otherwise

Keith’s ability to fly is impressive and it’s awesome

Friendly reminder that Lance acknowledged the bonding moment

Episode 7

I LOVE the laser gun sound effects!!!

I just realized that Allura has no clue what an Acronym is

We… literally just talked about this and YOU didn’t know that Shiro, I understand the point, but seriously?

LIONS are TELEPATHIC Shiro DID NOT need to say that aloud!

I do actually like the fact that Kieth gets excited before realizing what he did

FIRE and ICE PEOPLE come on! What the hell?! You barely had to try

“Yes sir?” Keith to Shiro, what?

I love them and their cute little arguments

Left vs Right, thank you Zamber

We be lovin’ Hunay bc it’s pure as hell

Thank you Shiro for validating Hunk’s concerns

You could check  a little faster, Allura

I LIVE for this scene

Was it actually Rolo?

Do they have teleporters?

Keith being weird is my favorite thing

I love good big bros who argue tradition to save their baby sis

Zarkon is a bit of a moron

THEIR LIVES ARE IN DANGER ALLURA!

They all came through different doors… how?

What if the answer was no?

I’m ok with Lance embarrassing himself when he’s cocky, some people seem to forget that

Bye transformation sequence, I explained you ONCE and that’s it

Prorock… why are you familiar?

Episode 8

I admittedly forgot that they didn’t know these things would be different

Flying fight scenes I can do, teleporting not so much

Poor Shiro he thought he had an idea and he was wrong

I love Coran’s reaction

Also NO SHIT Allura

UHHHH Pidge said that not and of the other three so how did He know?

Allura may piss me off, but I do love this speech

“Your Altean Energy”??? Coran, you’re an Altean, I’m confused.

The “Sacred Altean” thing I get, but you must be more specific cuz it makes Coran sound like he thinks he’s not a proper Altean.

Oof, angsty

Also, I  know we can’t kill Allura yet, but... 

I love that Hunk forgot they hadn’t formed Voltron

Bye bye transformation sequence

Ummm, they NEED to explain the Bayard Equip bc that’s… two very different things that occurred between Hunk and Keith’s Bayard Weapons

Why is this a scene? It’s not a dog. So, yeah, I’m with Keith here

Episode 9

THIS IS NOT HEALTHY ALLURA!

I just realized that this doesn’t come back until S..7? 8? Whatever, WAY too long

I can’t unhear “Training Dick”

Did they have homework on Altea?

Be still my Punk shipper heart

WHY is he SO pretty?!

Y’know, the glowing red eye is usually a bad sign

I could SO mean and hurt Keith here

That moment when you’re like 90% sure Shiro heard that somewhere

Not what haunted means Coran, but accurate

Why could Lance see Alfor for a second?

I too would like the answer to “where was the Red Lion?”

PTSD IS AMAZINGLY WRITTEN!

It’s a shame this is NEVER treated properly again

Thank you for NOT making the swimming thing a thing

You didn’t need to TRY Voltron, what the hell?!

Here’s the deal,  Altea not being Obliterated-obliterated is actually a really interesting idea

Lance still wins, for the record

If she was infected in any way this wouldn’t drive me crazier than a bot on Halloween

But she’s not so this is BULL

Shallura confuses me SO much…

Ok, admittedly the scene with Allura and Alfor is beautifully heartbreaking

Episode 10

The fact that Zarkon was a close friend to Alfor should be addressed

Also Shiro calling himself “an inexperienced Pilot” hurts

Allura’s a MORON!

YES! MASSIVE ISSUE WITH YOU COMING

Nice puppetry Hunk

What happened to THIS Allura?! She’s reckless but not INSANE (or so boring I might cry)!

Is this the same Druid from Season 8? Pretty sure it’s 8… I forget which, but the one Keith fought

“Don’t walk through that door!” / Keith does/ “I think I told him” // “You are a paragon of leadership, Lance”

Hehheh I love Hunk teasing Lance about Allura

I do actually the fact that I can’t tell what size the purple container is until Keith grabs it

Heheh the Allura interacting with the Galra soldier

The computer sounds like Lance

Also Shiro had that “holy shit” moment

I HATE WRITING TELELPORTING FIGHTS

I’m 99% sure that the ONLY reason I didn’t fall into the Galra Keith rabbit hole was the fact that I binge watched

This scene confuses me… so much now that I know Shallura was apparently never going to be a thing

So confused

Episode 11

That hair flip though...

Coran, I get it, but calm down

Okay, but Keith has a point. Seriously, he’s not wrong. 

For the record, Haggar scares me

So much makes so much more sense now that we know Zarkon is the Original Black Paladin

That… makes no sense… “enough essence to open a wormhole”

Why are you transforming? More pieces to shoot at is usually a smart idea…

Hey hey, THACE!

Why can’t you have two active at once? I’m honestly serious.

I mean too OP, got it, but you can maneuver around that for temporary stuff

Shiro, use your words, yeah?

“Thinking” uh huh you mean “telepathy” right?

I genuinely forgot that Shiro got booted from Black

Damn! Yes Shiro! Kick some ass!

Ok, here’s the deal, Keith’s not listening to Coran, but he doesn’t have all the info (LIKE THE FUCKING BAYARD), Zarkon’s the OG Paladin, and he’s in distress

I HATE TELEPORTERS!

“Could have been” … uh Kuron exists ?? 

Also, Shiro with yellow eyes is fucking terrifying

We ain’t ficking stupid VLD

Zarkon’s a fucking idiot

Written properly his power-hungry attitude works even with him destroying his own ship

But it wasn’t so it’s null

You aren’t even subtle about Galra Keith

How can Allura see through Illusions?

Nobody knows!

Shiro, you have no jetpack, how are you so fast?

“Who cares, wormhole!” mood

I… uh… I want to do SO many things with this idea

Preferably not what they actually do...

[lady-therion]

Everything I Meant to Say: Part 3 [Nessian]

Summary: Cassian sends the wrong message at the wrong time.

(Modern AU.)

A/N:  Sorry for the delay, folks! But here it is: the reunion...

***

   Cassian had pictured their reunion a hundred different ways over the years.  

   Some were hopeful. They would bump into each other on the subway and lock eyes across a crowded train cart. Recognition would dawn on both their faces, igniting that familiar spark. Maybe they would fall in love again—or at least, become friends again; the years of heartbreak and baggage thrown to the wayside. Cue a 1980s love ballad.  

   More often—and more realistically—he imagined them crossing paths at a bar they both liked. He would catch her chatting with some fifth avenue stockbroker who would be feeling up her ass like she was merchandise. Cassian would staunch the urge to break a cue stick across the stockbroker’s face by making some shitty comment to Nesta, all cocky smiles and arrogance.

   Then she would throw her drink in his face, glass included. Fade to black.

   But in none of those admittedly pathetic and vivid scenarios did he ever imagine this.

   “Would you like to place an order while you wait?”

   Cassian glanced at his impeccably dressed server and stiffened.

   When Nesta suggested meeting at this particular cafe in midtown, he had no idea what to expect. But as soon as he stepped over the red-carpeted threshold, he wished he had.  

  This was definitely not a Starbucks.

  The host had taken off his shabby leather jacket and guided him to an private back room with plush seating and gilded furniture. The silverware alone could have paid his rent for the entire year. The menu—one page, single-sided—didn’t even include prices. Everything was crisp, polished, and set apart with exact and even measurements.

  Cassian was afraid to touch anything. He’d never felt so out of place in his entire life.  

  As if sensing his hesitation, his server leaned in to whisper. “There’s no need to worry about the bill, sir. Miss Archeron is a patron we hold in very high regard. She said you can order anything you like. ”

  Anything he’d like? He couldn’t even read half of the listed entrees.

  But the server only gave him a patient smile and said, “If you don’t object, I can bring over a coffee and bourbon. It’s no trouble.”

  Cassian almost asked him to hold the coffee and get the bourbon straight, but it was barely past noon and he didn’t think Nesta would appreciate him getting plastered before she arrived. So instead he nodded and the server marched away like it was his personal mission to cater to his every whim.

  Christ, what had he gotten himself into?

   The thought gnawed at Cassian as he checked his phone.

   Five minutes after. Ten minutes after. Fifteen minutes after...

   Nesta was late. She was never late. At least not in the time that he’d known her.

  Worry, dread, and irritation churned inside him like the world’s worst mental health cocktail.

  Had something happened? Should he call her? Would that seem too eager? Had she picked this place to throw him off balance?

  This six-star cafe wasn’t exactly neutral territory—this was her territory. One of the many tangible pieces of evidence of how amazing her life was now that he wasn’t in it.

  Cassian sighed, willing himself to calm down.

   He once had a sergeant that told him that the key to winning any battle was knowing everything about the field. Maybe the reason why he was so nervous was because there were too many variables at play, too many unknowns. He and Nesta were practically strangers now. Would they have anything left in common?

   Did they really have anything in common to begin with?  

  Maybe this was a mistake.

  He checked his phone again, which now read twenty minutes after.

  But this time, Nesta left a message.

  ‘Be there soon. Sorry - work and traffic.’

  Cassian didn’t know if that made him feel more anxious or relieved. Somehow, Nesta could always inspire both. Maybe things hadn't changed so much, after all...

  He was a third of the way done with his coffee and bourbon by the time he heard a familiar stride approach the table. It was the heels. Nesta always loved wearing those gorgeous fuck-me heels. They were her one guilty pleasure…and his too. Thankfully, he was able to shake off the unbidden thought like a flea before Nesta rounded the corner.

   And this time, it was just like the movies.

   Time stopped as they held each other’s gaze. She looked the same...and yet different. He always imagined her looking exactly like she did in one of those glossy, airbrushed spreads. All done up and unattainable.

  But no, she was still his Nesta.

  Or just Nesta.

  Her hair looked a little shorter. She was wearing it half up in that messy way he liked. It reminded him of the lazy mornings they spent together at his apartment. She was always so fussy about her hair; could spend hours blowing it out or braiding it in his bathroom. So whenever she didn’t do it, it was an unspoken signal that she would rather stay in bed all day—preferably with him.

  There were other things that didn’t change. The elegant planes of her face. The fullness of her lips.  The collarbones peeking up from the neck of her white blouse. Lord, those collarbones used to drive him crazy. But not as much as that dimple in the corner of her mouth that never seemed to disappear, even when she didn’t smile. And the little dusting of kissable freckles across her nose...

  How could he have ever thought those magazines did her justice?

  There was one detail, however, that was different. One that he noted immediately: her eyes.

  That steely blue gaze was always as sharp as a razor, ready to cut anyone down like stalks of wheat. They burned right through him whether she was angry or not. They were like chipped pieces of ice on a regular day—a broadsword on another.

  But strangely enough, the cold fire in them seemed...dimmer, somehow. Softer. Wary. Cautious. Cassian didn’t know what to make of it.

  He wasn’t even sure if he remembered how to breathe.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Hi.”

  He stood up from his chair, remembering his manners. What should he do now? Shake her hand?

  But then Nesta reached for him herself, wrapping her slender arms around his middle.

  He could have sworn something inside him broke. Because suddenly, they weren’t in a private room in some ritzy ass cafe. Now, they were back in his living room, when Nesta wrapped her arms around him just like this, as they swayed back and forth to no music save for each other’s heartbeat.

  I missed you...

 Cassian choked off the instinct to blurt those words aloud, afraid of shattering the moment.

  Instead, he returned her embrace, trying very hard not to tuck her against him. Because he knew that if he did, he wouldn’t want to let go.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice muffled against the collar of his shirt.

   He tensed. “For what?”

  “For being late,” she said, pulling back.

  Oh. Right.

  “Don’t worry about it.”

   They sat down across from each other as the server came by with another coffee and bourbon for Nesta and a refill for Cassian. Nesta greeted and thanked him in a language he didn’t recognize, then recited her order without looking at the menu.  

  “I ordered us some pastries,” she said, when the server flocked away. “You’ll like them.”

  There was no bossiness in her tone. None of the spoiled haughtiness he’d come to associate her with. Just...confidence. Just the ease of being happy where she was and the gratefulness that she was sharing this experience with him. Cassian didn’t know what to make of this either.

  “You look good,” she told him.

  Did he? Because he felt like utter crap. He had spent the last several days preparing himself for a confrontation he was sure would erupt. Because despite his hope and expectations, Nesta had always been unpredictable. But that was the old Nesta. This new Nesta however, made him feel guilty as fuck for making assumptions.

  “You look good too,” he said.

  Fucking poetry.

  The conversation went a little bit more smoothly after the pleasantries. For Cassian, it felt like trying to learn about a different person entirely. As if he were on a first date. They stuck to safe subjects—like the weather and family. Or rather, their mutual family. The details of which were fairly well known to both of them. Still, it was fun to compare notes.

  Feyre was still finishing up art school.  Rhys was still finishing up business law and was planning to intern with his father over the summer—his father was still a prick, by the way. Elain was still working at the clinic downtown, but was thinking about opening up her own practice. Amren just got a job as a curator at the uptown history museum. And Azriel was still doing some security consulting work for Rhys’ father.

  “Security consulting?” asked Nesta.  

  “Just a fancy word for corporate espionage.”

  Cassian would know—he occasionally freelanced on some of the assignments that needed more brute force than finesse.

  “And how’s Mor?”

  “Mor?” Cassian echoed.

  Mor had always been a sensitive subject between them—which was understandable. He did sleep with her at some point before he and Nesta got together, and it was always a point of contention between them.

  “Mor’s good. She has a girlfriend now. I think they’re pretty serious.”

  Nesta smiled. A genuine one. The kind that always stopped his heart. “That’s good. I’m happy for her.”  

  “And what about you?” he asked. “How are you doing?”

  Nesta’s smile froze.  “Better,” she said. “I’m doing better.”

  He frowned. “Is everything okay?”

  It was very difficult to imagine things not being okay. She seemed to have everything she wanted: a high-profile career, more money than she could ever spend, the ability to travel all over the world. From what he heard, she was already a very popular icon in Europe and was starting to gain some recognition in the States—if that commercial was anything to go by.

  “Everything’s fine,” she said. “It’s just...work can get overwhelming sometimes.”

  “How so? Isn’t it basically just playing dress up?”

  Nesta’s face faltered and he immediately wished he could take back what he said. Just reel in those idiotic words like a goddamn fishing line.

  Why the hell did he have to go and say something like that?

  “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean...I don’t want to belittle what you do...”

  “No, it’s all right,” she said. Though by her even tone, he could tell that it wasn’t and wished more than anything that the floor would open up and swallow him whole. “I get that question a lot, actually. Mostly from journalists who are trying to be provocative. But I can see where they’re coming from.” She circled a perfectly manicured nail around the rim of her coffee cup. “You’re not wrong. Fashion is a little like playing dress up. But it’s not about the clothes that I’m selling. It’s about the fantasy.”

  “Fantasy?”

  “You’d be surprised at how many people are willing to pay for a well done fantasy,” she said. “When I’m behind the camera, I can be whoever they need me to be. The girl next door. The other woman. The faery queen. Whatever role people need to project themselves on. To escape from reality just for a little while.”

  She paused, clearly waiting for him to speak, but he didn’t know what to say.

  Who was he to know or judge what she did?

  “I’m still sorry,” he said, finally. “For my comment earlier. I didn’t mean to sound like an ass.”

  “I know you didn’t mean it,” she told him.

  Cassian swallowed. He was used to verbal sparring matches. He had no idea what to do with this.

   He never imagined being so awkward around her. Angry yes, awkward as fuck—no.

  “Cassian,” she said, pulling him into the present. “You probably already know this, but I didn’t ask you to come here just for coffee.”

  He braced himself. This was it. This was the part where she told him she was dating someone else. Maybe they were serious enough to be engaged. Maybe they were serious enough to already be married—though he didn’t see a ring on her finger. But Nesta was never one for tradition. In any case, he wasn’t prepared for how those thoughts made him feel like was spiraling into a black hole.

  She took a deep breath, steeling herself. “I wanted to apologize...for shutting you out of my life.”

  Something twisted inside him. Hard and piercing. As though a shard of the residual anger he had been holding onto had been plucked from his heart.

  “Nesta...I…”

  “It wasn’t fair of me to do that,” she pressed on. “After your last message....I realized that I was being an idiot. We have the same friends. The same family. You’re still my family, despite everything that happened.”

  “Nesta,” he said, willing his voice to remain steady. “It...it wasn’t just you. I didn’t…”

  There were so many things he wanted to say, had rehearsed them in mind countless times over.

   So why couldn’t he say them now?

  “It wasn’t just you. I did some shitty things too. And it wasn’t like I was…”

  He stopped, unable to go on.  

  She reached over the table to grab his hand, twining her fingers around his. The warmth and feel of it was so familiar, so right, that he thought he was going to die.

  “Can we...can we call a truce? Start over? As friends?” Silver lined her eyes and Cassian felt like he was drowning and gasping for air all at once. He didn’t want her to cry. Ever. “I was so angry,” she said. “For such a long time, I was so angry. At you, at my family, at the world. I just...I don’t want to be angry anymore. Please.”

   Cassian swallowed. He didn’t want to be angry anymore either.

   “Yeah,” he said. “Let’s start over.”

   She smiled—another real smile—and his heart broke a little more.

   “Good. I was thinking...are you doing anything tomorrow?”

   He shook his head. “I tend to be pretty free these days.”

   “Would you like to come by the studio? I’m doing a shoot. I was going to ask Elain and Feyre to come, but neither of them can make it.”

   Should he? If he did, it would open a new door to another set of unknowns—another set of mysteries and questions that terrified him more than anything else.

  But...he would at least be moving forward.

  They would be moving forward.

  “Sure,” he said. “I can be there.”

***

Thank you for reading, my loves.

Other chapters be found in the Masterlist in my Bio / I am Lady_Therion on AO3