#admittedly i know only the surface level of the process

[pumpkinstep]

I am once again thinking angry thoughts about how unfair the process for getting on disability is

someone please hit me with their car

[regainingparadise]

Relistening to TMA Season 5, I am again struck by how goddam badly Martin and Jon need couples counseling.

I love them both. I ship them very much. But oh lord they have issues

Like, these are two individuals who, under the very best of circumstances, would really need therapy both individually and together. They are both people with plentiful quantities of relational trauma from childhood that neither of them have worked through even the slightest bit.

And then you throw them into the apocalypse. And you add a metric fuck ton of guilt, helplessness, and the dynamics of being "The Antichrist and +1"?

On a surface level--Jon is in a perpetual state of information overload. Martin is in a perpetual state of "can you please just explain the basics of what's' going on in a given situation and not just say "it's complicated" or launch into a gruesome monologue"

But on a deeper level, their childhood relational traumas have left them each with opposing avoidant tendencies: Jon is unwilling to broach a difficult conversation, which leads him to hide information until he's confronted. Martin, on the other hand, has a finely honed ability to ignore information that he doesn't like until he no longer can hide from it.

Biggest example of their avoidance tendencies: Martin's Domain

Way early on, when we barely understand any of how the hellscape works, Jon mentions it, Martin shuts it down hard and deflects quickly with a bid for affection from Jon

Martin is in deliberate denial, but Jon admittedly wasn't particularly clear to start with.

"We all have a domain."

Jon means it, presumably, as "Me, You, and other 'Avatars.'" Jon is used to being grouped with those empowered by the Entities. Martin isn't. (see also: MAG185: Martin" Is that how these creatures see us now? As one of them?") But that's not what Jon says. And this is MAG167--they've only been through four domains, at least that we've seen. Jon is speaking from a place of knowledge, and assuming his listener has that same knowledge.

And when this issue comes up much later in MAG183, Martin has spent 17 episodes ignoring or forgetting that he has a domain, not letting that information in so that he has never processed it. (See also: Mag170: "Sometimes I wonder if I forget things on purpose. Easier not to think about them, I guess. Easier to just let them… slip away. They can’t hurt you if you don’t think about them.").

Martin confronts Jon on his avoidance (because while Martin may be good at ignoring things he doesn't like, he's far better at bringing up challenging topics), Jon is able to manage some A+ communication on his feelings and the genuine challenging of figuring out how to share upsetting information when he has All The Information, Martin accepts that. I just desperately want a therapist to be there and make them continue this conversation and practice ongoing good communication skills!

Though they resolve this, even though Jon has an explanation that makes sense...he was really leaving this conversation to the last minute. Would he have "[brought] it up at the crossroads" as he claims to Helen? Or would he have avoided it entirely, as she accuses, or waited till they were at the threshold, as he does with The Desolation and the Hunt, leaving Martin to confront terrifying situations without forewarning or planning or explanation.

Again, Jon kind of tried to bring up some of the potential issues with Basira and Daisy before entering the Hunt domain, but kept it Vague and Ominous ("Things aren't...good"). Martin took that vagueness as an opening to avoid engaging with potential bad news. The teensiest bit of therapy for either of them about their communication issues could have let Jon add "I know you're exited but FYI here are some specifics that you should know" and/or Martin go "I'm excited to see them but given that nothing is good right now, can you be more specific?"

Instead, Jon approaches difficult conversations by being Vague and Ominous, Martin gets snarky or passive-aggressive at the vagueness, upset or aggressively avoidant at the Ominousness, Jon closes back up like a turtle into his shell, and the conversation only comes back up when the situation has drastically escalated, leaving them both more upset.

Jon wants Martin to trust him, because explaining what he knows implicitly is an ordeal for him, and because his upbringing by his grandmother has suggested that communicating is generally unwanted and burdensome (See: MAG081 A Guest for Mr. Spider).

Martin wants to know what is going on, because he's in an awful hellscape of shifting rules about what can and cannot hurt them, completely dependent on a brand-new romantic partner for his survival and purpose, and also because his upbringing and coping mechanisms as a caretaker rely on him knowing enough to help, and his time as an archival assistant has given him some not-inconsiderable trauma about being left in the dark (See: MAG118 The Masquerade) (There's also another post in my head about how MAG118 primed Martin for both the Lonely and his development as a more confrontational character in S5)

All that to say.

Martin needs therapy to deal with the way he chooses not to absorb information he doesn't like. Jon needs therapy to understand that sometimes it's ok to bring up important topics even if the other person will be upset. They both need therapy to cope with all the guilt and helplessness around the apocalypse so they stop taking it out on each other. They need therapy together to learn how to work through their conflicting coping mechanisms.

[merakiui]

Hello!!! I've been following you for a while, but this is my first ask >.< but I saw your friends with benefits dialog post and couldn't help thinking of reader being in a fwb situation with any of the octotrio (I personally like to think jade) with the dialog from reader being "i didn't know who else to call. you're all i've got right now." I like to think the octotrio are very protective, especially if they have developed feelings for the reader. Like, imagine that there is some dude that just won't leave reader alone and they don't feel safe. Just the thought of them taking us in and taking care of our "problem" has me orz

o o o o oo oooo overprotective Jade........ this is such a good thought, anon!!

(fwb dialogues)

When you see him, it's like the snow has melted away and flowers have sprung from cold, cracked earth. Jade Leech is, by all accounts, the last person you'd ever want to see after your inadvisable run-ins with him, but he's reliable. A little too reliable, admittedly. He looks like he rushed to get here, his coat buttoned haphazardly and his hat placed crookedly on his head. It's hard to believe the always-patient, ever-so-perfect Jade could forget to uphold that façade after your brief phone call.

For a short while, the both of you stare at the other. A frigid breeze blows between you, and you push past the few passersby on the pathway to reach him. He's in the process of saying something, but it's your arms thrown around him that abruptly cut him off. Relieved tears gather in your eyes, and you hold on tightly.

"I... I didn't know who else to call. You're all I've got right now," you whisper into his wool coat. "Sorry. I know you're busy."

Jade's arms close around you in reciprocation. "I'll always make time for you."

You're not used to this treatment. Neither is he. You've only ever known surface-level physicality. Emotions have always been shelved in favor of indulging in fleeting, present-day pleasures. You never go any deeper than you must.

Tonight's different.

Still reeling, nerves frazzled, you relay the story in a shaky mumbling. "I went to dinner with a classmate and we were only going to talk about the semester project, but then he started... It just got weird and I hid in the bathroom, and I had no idea what to do. Without thinking I called you and you answered and... And—"

Jade rubs soothing circles into your back. His touch is soothing, grounding you in the moment. It smooths out all of the icky feelings you'd previously been at war with, replacing every frightened imagining with something bright and beautiful.

"There's no need to push yourself. I understand the story well enough."

"Thanks..." You sniffle and slowly draw away, patting his coat for good measure. "For coming, I mean. I really didn't think you would."

Jade frowns. "I wouldn't ignore you in your time of need."

"Yes, you would—" You stop yourself. He's never once left a message on read. He always returns missed phone calls. And now, holding you in his arms, he's come to your aid.

Despite everything—all of the pointless promises for something with no strings attached—he cares. He always has and he always will.

"Ah. Um. Then I guess I owe you one."

Jade's mismatched eyes flick from you to the restaurant and then back. An emotion you can't quite decipher passes over his face, and he seems to be assessing something in silence. Eventually, his expression clears and he offers you a cordial smile.

"I assume you haven't eaten yet?"

"Are you kidding? Of course not! I can't go back in there and eat with that creep!"

His smile widens, and for once you trust that more than you've ever trusted anything before.

"Well, if you aren't opposed to it, we could get dinner at one of my favorite places. It's not too far from here. My treat."

You stare at him, shocked. This is new. You've never gone to dinner with him before. "Wait, really? You're serious?"

"There's no punchline to my words. So, yes, I'm quite serious."

"And you're not just asking because you want sex?"

Jade's lips drop into a disappointed moue. It's an expression you've yet to see on him. "Your lack of faith in me is woefully astounding. Must I wear a collar for you to recognize my loyalty?"

You roll your eyes, shoving him playfully. "Yeah, yeah. I get it. You're being honest." Heaving an exhausted breath, you slide out of his arms. "Okay, fine. Dinner sounds good."

He perks up, visibly pleased. "In that case, please wait here. There's one minor issue I must see to and then we can be off."

"Huh? Where are you going?"

"To say hello to your classmate." His smile is no longer the soft, sweet thing it once was. Now it's razored with malice, and it fills his eyes with a scheming sort of darkness. "I won't be long."

"Right..."

Amidst the wintry air and the confusion, you feel strangely fuzzy inside. You're sure it's just a side effect of encroaching hypothermia. Definitely nothing else.

Mysteriously, your classmate drops out of the course and you're left to finish the project on your own. But perhaps that was for the best. When asked what he said, Jade feigns innocence and speaks in convenient embellishments. Best not to press the matter any further.

[wildcalendula]

some thoughts about the filmmaking in yr

I was thinking about why I gave Young Royals a chance and watched it in the first place (answer: boredom) and why I was hooked right from the beginning (spoiler: the filmmaking).

And let me tell you, when I started I didn't know anything; what it was about, who was in it, that it was in Swedish... I try to avoid spoilers to movies/shows like the plague and only vaguely skim the summary text. I scrolled past this hideous thumbnail on Netflix so many times:

(what even is this? it doesn't really look like Edvin and it screams low-budget, entitled rich boy with no redeeming qualities in a shallow tv show. sorry, I'm still not over this thing)

It did not interest me at all.

But then literally one, two minutes in I was hooked. And that‘s largely due to the filmmaking, I think.

Some stuff that made me wanna watch more:

momentum through scene transitions

In the first 2 minutes we get introduced to Wille in 4 different scenes.

There is a lot happening in two minutes and we get thrown right in the middle of it. But the way the scenes are intercut (woven together) makes for very compelling storytelling.

So much of it is shown, not told. No unnecessary exposition! (doesn't everyone hate it when we, the audience, are treated as dumb? but still so many shows do it..)

The scenes get intercut to transition from one to the next and are linked through music, dialogue or visual parallel. Entertaining! It creates flow! And this momentum carries us along with the story beats.

Music: high energy, a little aggressive, building up to a climax, ends abruptly when Wille is driving away in the car, picks up again during the flashback, finally carries over to the car because Wille is listening to the song with earbuds. This sequence showed me very early on that the filmmakers put some love into the show through a high level of details.

Dialogue: Wille's voice-over links the car with the palace scene (more on that further down)

Visual: the crowd of reporters with their camera flashes parallels the crowd of club goers with their cell phones. They even edited in an aditional flash of light. Now, that's attention to detail:

lingering on reaction shots

First dialogue of the show, Farima speaks and the camera is on Wille. Then, when Wille speaks, Farima is on screen.

Usually, you cut back and forth to show the person speaking, the reaction, then cut to the next person with a line of dialogue. The focus ist mostly on the speaker. It‘s standard but it can also come across as quite formulaic and.. well, boring.

YR has a habit of breaking with this tradition and does the opposite: the shots often linger on the person hearing the dialogue, showing their reaction to it. Different! New! Exciting!

... Admittedly, this scene is not the best example for what I mean, just a first glimpse of it. (And I am not really in love with the editing/cuts during the car conversation. I think they didn‘t get enough footage) But later on, YR does this a lot.

Another but slightly different example for this:

We hear Wille express his frustration (in the car) while the screen shows Wille slowly walking through the palace.

There is one instant when it cuts back to the car but for the most part we are now seeing Wille in a different setting.

The show visually focuses on him while he is processing the dialogue: Slow walk, almost dragging his feet, although he's calmer now, something's bubbling under the surface, a big sigh to release tension

Character introduction: the new setting also shows us a different side to Wille we haven't seen yet. He‘s in the palace, in a suit, as the Prince. As the audience, we get to experience two sides of him in one scene: Wille (more casual, emotional) and the Prince (formal, more composed). And this juxtaposition hints at conflict. Intriguing!

Two minutes in and I knew what I could expect from the show: a character with an inner struggle, emotional complexity and the will to show it on screen.

Love it! Let scenes breathe! Put the emotions on display and let the audience experience those emotions with the character!

Structuring these 4 scenes like this is, for me, a sign of a good show because it points to deliberate (and creative) choices. Everything should be done with a purpose, and every creative decision should serve the story going forward.

there's lots more I could talk about but I've got to stop myself here, this is already a lot :)

tl;dr: loved it right from the start because of the obvious effort put into filming and their creative love for details

[quixot1sm]

can you. talk about nate hilbertverse

yes GOD this poor guy.

first off: nate is hilbert's little brother- 6 years his junior. he'd always looked up to hilbert as a role model, idolizing him especially after his ascension to hero of ideals. keep in mind that nate was only 10 when bw happened, so his understanding of the situation was surface-level and admittedly naïve. even when hilbert had been hospitalized for his injuries, he'd put on a brave face for nate, so the latter didn't grasp the severity of what happened/was happening.... it wouldn't be until later that the reality of how scary this was would sink in.

freshly 11 yrs old when hilbert left unova, nate was then sent off to aspertia to live with the other half of the family (hilda, rosa, and their mom) so he could enroll in cheren's trainer's school with rosa and earn his permit. the idea was also a way to provide him with a distraction from hilbert's absence since nate was a lonely kid... but anyway, this permit allowed them to participate in the junior division of the pokemon league challenge, meaning if either of them won, they'd be a champion in name only. that didnt happen but i'll get to why in a second.

when he was 12, despite setting out with the intention of collecting gym badges, hugh and nate quickly veered off course when team neo-plasma began showing its face around the region, urging the two of them to give chase in a bid to get some answers out of them. in the process, nate came across and befriended keldeo, and then, upon meeting colress, was dubbed something akin to his protégé.

this of course all came to a head in giant chasm. there... something happened that left nate almost a completely different person. not only had he been told, to his face, that his big brother was gone for good, but his right arm was caught in the line of kyurem's glaciate.

like his brother before him, nate was then hospitalized for a considerable amount of time, and like theyd done for his brother before him, interpol came swooping in make use of nate at his lowest. because, technically, hilbert had been working with them when he disappeared, so they had to take some accountability in his case... and what better way that to employ his little brother, i guess.

before his journey, nate was a sweet, excitable kid, although he struggled with tone. afterwards... it's like he struggles to recognize any emotion at all. he's blunt, does not have time for distractions, he gets unreal tunnel vision and dedicates years working on tying up loose ends regarding hilbert- such as the whereabouts of the dark stone and anything he might have left behind that nate can bring back home... rosa thinks its a pointless obsession and would rather forget about it all, and this resulted in a fight that drove a wedge between the two of them. :(

this was supposed to be a brief summary and its already gotten this long LOL... i had to skip over some details that i'll revisit in other posts later. like n's zorua. theres a lot going on with a lot of the hilbertverse cast and nate is no exception.

some more trivia, though:

reshiram would have accepted him as a hero of truth if he'd agreed to it... but hes very different from n. his pursuit of truth is one devoid of idealism- he has no hope, no optimism, he only wants to get the facts to provide some sense of closure.

his full name is nathaniel tobias black. do not ever call him this

his birthday is may 4

he has two shinies, those being his emboar and his galvantula. lucky bastard

we really dont know what gender his emboar is? most just assume its a male, but it responds to whatever. really it does what it wants. its name is samson and its parents are bianca and hilda's emboars.

his prosthetic arm was designed and built by colress. the guy likes to think of himself as nate's mentor, even though he's one of the main factors behind why nate's even going through what he is in the first place...

and finally, although it's currently only 3 songs long, heres his playlist!

[linkspooky]

What’s your Top 5 favorite JJK female characters? And why is it your top 5?

I have a top two female characters in Jujutsu Kaisen anon, does that count? I like all the characters in Jujutsu Kaisen by the way, and I love Utahime, I'm just picky on what kind of character I call a favorite.

MIWA KASUMI

Miwa is the most well developed character in Jujutsu Kaisen, and there's no point in arguing with me because I'm right. A character is defined by their weaknesses more than their strengths, and no one is more weak than useless Miwa.

Miwa is, probably the only female character in Jujutsu Kaisen who displays her vulnerability openly eschewing all the other tough as nails personas that the girls have. She has low self esteem, and an admittedly self-interested reason for fighting. When facing off with Maki she even admits she doesn't really care about Yuji's well being and will follow orders because she's in it for the money. She loses right away, gets her sword broken, and gets tricked easily by Inumaki and that's the extent of it. Then she beats herself up for being useless after the fact.

Sounds underwhelming I know, but Miwa gives us a rare glimpse into what life as a sorcerer is like for a normal person with no outstanding qualities. People always act like female characters are so hard to write and make as complicated as their male counterparts but, there is nothing more complicated than an average teenage girl. A normal character can be as compelling as the strongest character because what makes a character interesting is the depth and range given to their emotions, and how they struggle.

Miwa is the softest, most open of the girls, and she is arguably the one who is hurt the most by these qualities because Miwa suffers a lot of loss. She's the only one who makes an effort to reach out to Koichi in spite of the fact she might lose him, and that loss hits her the hardest. She was his reason for betraying Jujutsu High, and the one he wanted to protect, and yet his betrayal and the loss of him only makes her suffer more. She tries to put everythig she can into avenging Koichi on Kenjaku and... her sword breaks again. Miwa is completely powerless in those situations and all she can really do is break down.

And this is all for a character with very limited screentime. Miwa doesn't have the story importance of Nobara or Maki (not to knock on them) but she displays the widest range of emotions from low-self esteem, to affection, to optimism, to crushing loss. Teenagers have it hard, and nobody understands.

MAI ZENIN

This isn't going to be as long as Miwa's because Mai has even less screentime, but once again what makes a character interesting isn't the attitude they project but what's on the inside. Mai is beautiful on the outside and ugly on the inside and that's what makes her lovable.

A character's internal world is how they react to things and process them, and the unique way they see the world, it's different than just surface level characterization. For example, Yuji reacts to things different than Megumi, we see an internal narration for both of them to give us a clue what is going on inside their heads. Mai is a good character because we know her, we know her resentment and insecurities.

I like the idea of Mai embodying the "weaker" sibling to Maki, because while Maki struggles to be stronger, Mai struggles with weakness itself. Mai's short story in the second light novel goes on about how scared she constantly is of cursed spirits, and how ugly the things she sees all around her are... because cursed spirits are scary. Mai dreams of being a normal girl, but that's kind of exactly what she is. She's a normal girl dealing with problems and grief most adults would struggle with, and yet she doesn't feel especially heroic like Yuji, she just stews in her own misery, and resents, and hates herself and hates her sister but also loves her and it's a very complicated mess.

There's an extra layer of conflict where you are not stronger, or more determined than your problems, and so you keep struggling against them without winning. Mai isn't determined like Maki, or bold like Nobara, she's not even a main character, but she shows up to fight anyway and that makes it more effective because we know what a selfish and whiny brat she can be. (Seriously I love her <3).

[yostresswritinggirl]

Since we're on the subject of npcs I'd like to give a mention to my favorite oni boy Takuya.

It's been a long time since Itto's character quest but after experiencing Shinobu's hangout, I've been plague by wholesome found family Arataki gang thoughts.

I kept thinking Takuya would basically be in Traveler's place around the squad, being the one trying to be responsible but ends up dragged into shenanigans anyways.

I'd imagine his relationship with Shinobu is a "your the only bitch I trust in this house" type of thing being the only other person holding any braincells (she low-key favors him more than the others sometimes but no one really notices cause my queen is subtle).

I have a soft spot for the Arataki gang in general as you can see.

But of course we can't forget about the sad priest boy Kasala who I keep throwing so much angst at.

Since you said dilf!Kasala here something:

If reader and Kasala had a child together before reader died of eleazar I can imagine how hard it'd be for him to not only process the grief but support their child going through losing a parent as well.

Maybe after Deshret's sacrifice, Kasala just lost all faith in anything anymore so he gives his child to someone trustworthy to take care of as he locks himself away to keep guard of a temple.

Kasala at end of his life, despite dying peacefully can't help but regret everything that happened to his family.

Helplessly seeing the love of his life dying before him.

Not doing enough for the last living remnant of their love for each other.

Letting his child loose both of their parents so soon because of his selfishness.

So as Kasala close his eyes for the last, his final thoughts were a hope for his little to be safe and forgiveness he knows he doesn't deserve.

Okay maybe Haitham isn't the only character I like to see cry at this point

Honorable mentions to Niwa who I can't help but feel like Kabukimono had a small crush on at some point.

I feel like Niwa's good with kids so imagine him and Kuni babysitting the children of tatarasuna together and at night he'll read bed time stories to some of them but Kuni ends up falling asleep to Niwa's voice too because of how comforting it is.

Mostly wholesome from me tonight.

- Vagabond Anon

Admittedly I have not done Itto's quest so I only know Takuya in a surface level but *pulling up pictures of him* Best looking npc in the game engine by far, they really made effort to implement him

But Itto's little found family is my favorite, it's like Mondstadt on a tiny level (adding in the three youkais from Akitsu Kimodameshi too, oh they're growing!) but on the back office it's actually Takuya and Shinobu holding the whole thing together hahaha Takuya being the Traveler, Takuya and Shinobu being tired parents, oh I love all of it

Hey when did I say dilf - YES DILF KASALA, MORE PAIN MORE REPENT

Continuing the curse of unhappiness down the line, how cool would it be if Cyno is part of the bloodline of his past self but their history has been lost thru time or whispered scarcely by his elders so as not to be discriminated in the age of the Akademiya ohhh

What if their child took on the temple duties after he died, or maybe Rukkha took care of them too aww why must we torment this unnamed child we just conjured

Also true, like a small possibility maybe innocently, Niwa supremacy in everything that he does. I want more Niwa content, he died too soon (fuck you Dottore) he's definitely the Tighnari of Tatarasuna in my mind, and Kabukimono is like Collei? Oh wow I'm starting to see parallels - ack I miss him so much, I'm gonna listen to his voice now-

[alecbicheno]

Forefront post: Incredible run-down environment

21/07/2024

This run down environment is a great example of what I aim to achieve in my scenes. I have been looking at many environments online since I’m in that work mode as the environment artist for this project, and I really liked this one and felt I could use it for inspiration.

This environment was made by Jinkun Chen, an environment artist, who used a few bits of software to achieve the final result, and it only too him two weeks to do so.

He talks about his inspiration from the popular game (The Last of Us, 2013), specifically the subway level.

He talks about his modelling process and offers some helpful advice on making modular parts in Unreal Engine. “From my experience, the height of the walls and columns can be any amount you like, while the width of the modular should be an even number: 0.5m, 1m, 2m, 4m, etc.

This way, there will not be a seam on the tileable texture. The pivot of each modular part needs to be at the corner, not the center. This ensures that the modular parts align perfectly in the Unreal Engine.” (Chen, 2023)

I personally find this very helpful as I don’t really know the fundamentals of creating modular environments, and informs me on things I wouldn’t have thought of like having the pivot be in the corner of the modular parts.

He then talks about his texturing process; however, he used Substance Designer which I have never used. Though I may consider having a go at using it since the outcome of this project is of a very high quality and he offers helpful advice on using the software.

He goes over his set dressing, where he wasn’t focused on creating the assets but more so on the materials, so he found a variety of assets online, and any that didn’t match very well he imported into Substance Painter to adjust.

This is something I want to do in the future. If I want to make a scene or cinematic, whether it be for a portfolio piece or just for fun, I would like to focus on making the materials and the scene as I too often want to make absolutely everything myself and get too overwhelmed by the workload.

So, doing this allows me to work on my skillset, specifically my texturing and scene creation/ set dressing like I mentioned above, to really see what I can do. This is because ultimately, I want to become a 3D generalist, however at the moment my focus in on hard surface modelling and prop creation, and I’m relatively inexperienced with character and environment creation.

Lastly, he goes over the lighting process back in Unreal Engine.

“This project is fully lit with the Lumen system. I use a giant mesh light on the roof hole. Unlike the directional light, mesh light does not generate sharp shadows, giving the scene a soft bouncing light.” (Chen, 2023).

I know the fundamentals of lighting a scene, but I’m still an amateur at it, but reading this is intriguing me, so I’m going to find out how mesh lights work and attempt to use them in a scene at a later date.

“For objects with strong reflections like water and glass, I put them into a separate light channel, so I can control the reflection individually.

Typically, the normal light cannot generate sufficient reflections, so these objects need additional fill light.” (Chen, 2023).

I still have more to learn about Unreal Engine functions as admittedly I haven’t used sperate light channels in a scene before, let alone using them to better control objects with different reflections. So, this will also be something I look up how to do.

To reiterate, lighting is something I’m also inexperienced with, so reading his processes was incredibly helpful, and searching for what it is and how to use them will be a must as lighting is extremely important, often being the make or break of a render or scene.

So, to summarise this environment is wonderful and is the level of quality I aim to achieve. The article detailing the process was incredibly helpful, informing me about helpful techniques, and helping me understand what specifically to research to improve my skills. This being said, I would have liked to see more detail when he discussed the set dressing and lighting sections of the article. Such as his process of how and why he placed assets where they were in the scene, and a bit more detail on how he did the lighting for less experienced readers like myself to understand what he did without needing further research, because even though I know what to research to help improve my scenes now, it would be more helpful educate less experienced readers then and there.

References

Chen, J., 2023. Apocalyptic Metro. [Online] Available at: https://gamesartist.co.uk/apocalyptic-metro/ [Accessed 21 July 2024].

The Last of Us. (2013). PlayStation 3 [Game]. San Mateo, CA: Sony Computer Entertainment.

[helldustedstories]

Stolas' experience of much of the world before Blitz had been through books, and this was no different. Not only had he read several books on regular knot techniques, he's read at least two about the art of using rope as a form of bondage, which he had admittedly found intriguing. It wasn't inherently sexual, though it certainly could be; it could also be used as a form of meditation or as a way to feel more intimate with a partner. It seemed like something that could be right up their alley, and he'd started putting some of that theory into practice, figuring out some of the basics.

Which had been very different from using the ropes on Blitz.

But Stolas had been very attentive, making sure to adjust and readjust so the knots and ties were effective, but not too tight, talking and checking in with Blitz as they went, and just generally enjoying the process.

He can't help the laugh that leaves him when Blitz asks how much he'd learned just from reading, especially when he mentions that he'd like to think he helped with Stolas' knowledge, that he'd knocked it out of the park. A soft flush finds its way onto the owl's face at the praise; he'd been doing everything he could to make sure he did this well, for both of them, and he was very pleased to hear that that was paying off.

"I did have the best teacher," Stolas says with a little grin, his voice low, practically a purr. "And you know I learn better with hands-on experience; I may have been studying," he adds, flush across his cheeks deepening. Because while being submissive and allowing Blitz to take charge came very naturally to him, Stolas was still figuring out the other side of that equation. He was very eager to fill that role, for them to be able to explore even more together; it just took a little bit more practice on his part.

Stolas hears the nerves in Blitz's voice, coupled with the excitement, and he's so proud of how far he's come, how far they've both come. Even though very little had changed on the surface, so much was different since they'd talked, that night in the hospital. If that hadn't happened, they never would have gotten here, never would have managed to drop those walls between them. And he's so glad they had.

Blitz presses his head against Stolas' chest, and the owl doesn't move, a soft smile on his lips, stroking a hand along one of Blitz's horns, giving him time to adjust, and he feels him relax at least a little. It's another few moments of just existing together before Blitz relaxes even more, shifting to look up at Stolas, who meets his gaze, turning his smile in his direction.

At Blitz's eager declaration that he's very good with his mouth, something with which Stolas is intimately familiar, a slow smirk slips onto the owl's face. He stays where he is, gazing down at Blitz, one hand stroking over the spines along his back, slowly, deliberately, teasing.

"Before I let you show off, show me just how good with that mouth of yours you are," he murmurs, taking a moment to rake his gaze over Blitz, very obviously enjoying seeing him, "I want you to tell me a colour and comfort level; nothing's too tight?" While Stolas had done his best to make sure there was enough give to allow for comfort, he was still very new at this. He'd promised Blitz he'd take care of him, that he'd keep him safe, and he's going to make sure he keeps that promise, just the way Blitz had taught him.

[ KNEEL ]  ―  for sender to tie receiver up with shibari in a kneeling position. [as is] / @helldustedstories

❝ So how much of this skill is from reading about it ? Gimme a percentage, a ratio here - I'd like to think I contributed something to your knowledge, if only because you knocked it out of the fuckin' park - first try. ❞

There's a distinct jitteriness in Blitz's voice that he can't mask - if only because he's trying not to mask those emotions anymore, when they come up. Never let it be said that he's not doing his best on this whole being better, being healthier journey - even when he doubts it himself. Now, there's that skittering of nervousness in his voice, but also an undeniable excitement. And, of course, the constant guilt - the worry that enjoying this is going to lead to nothing but trouble, even though that part of himself that craves pleasure and intimacy is rapidly blooming back to life.

But this is different. This is Stolas. And Stolas loves him.

Maybe this time, the bondage can mean safety, too.

Blitz leans forward to press his forehead against Stolas' chest, unwilling to be far from him. The moment his cheek buries into the soft plumage, fluffy and tickling and smelling undeniably like Stolas, he feels the tension down his back release. Once they're touching, he experimentally tests the restraints - silk rope that feels like clouds against his skin despite the intricate pattern they create, and the strength with which they hold him. His mind goes just a little dreamy at the abundance of sensation - the rope, the luxuriously soft bedspread, Stolas' warmth and his steady heartbeat, and suddenly that nervousness begins to bleed away too.

No, he can't hide this way. But he doesn't need to. And that sheer fact alone is ... staggering.

Reinvigorated, Blitz looks up, the wide grin sharpening into something much more playful. Now when he presses up against Stolas, he allows himself to really feel the pull of the ropes, feel the heat from where they're pressed together, and delights in it. His experimental wiggling because something more joyful - challenging.

❝ You know, I'm very good with my mouth, ❞ he half purrs, eyelids dropping a little to half mast. ❝ And you're not fully undressed yet. I bet you I can take care of that hands free. ❞ The thought of Stolas' eyes on him - his attention on him like this, in a space where Blitz can prove himself - where he can show off some of that hard earned dexterity - it sends a thrill down his spine.

❝ Want me to make you feel good, Gorgeous ? ❞

[kate-komics]

I think your art style is so cool. Do you think you can share your art process sometime?

Okay, I’m gonna do my best to share my ‘process’ even though I don’t even know what it is 😅 bare with me here!

Rather than give you a step by step (because the steps are never the same for me) I’ll show you one of my speed draws and try to hit a few points about what I consider/ think about while I’m drawing. This will only be for drawing human figures, just FYI.

I’ll use my lil Steddie sketch I did recently since it’s freshest in my mind and I think I did a good job with the posing.

Here’s the video!

Now let's see if I can articulate my thoughts.

I would also like to note that there was no reference for this drawing. This was only a warm up drawing that I developed a little to much because I was having a good time making it

Things I consider when drawing people:

Gesture drawing/ Pose: Make a loose gesture drawing first so you can get a feel for where you wanna go then build off that. Where is the weight of the body leaning? What direction are they facing? As you can see when I first start I keep it all fairly loose until I really figure out wear the body is leaning. Once I have they're torso/ centerline figured out the limbs follow. As you can see I was having a tough time figuring out what position for for Eddie's legs looked the most natural/ interesting. Which brings me to my next point!

Keep your first sketches loose, and don't be afraid to test things as you go. As you can see in the video I basically start from scribbles and build off of that. Adjust shoulders, move limbs around, tilt heads, whatever you think would look best. All in all I probably redrew the figures 2 or 3 times before I started on line art.

Shapes! Once I have the pose and sketch to my liking I build off the gesture by making shapes and angles a little sharper. This is, of course, specific to my personal preference in style but I think just slightly exaggerating the shape of a muscle or the point of a feature really takes a drawing to a new level in terms of style. I believe Ethan Becker (highly recommend his tutorials) has a good youtube video about how an elongated triangle shape is a fun dynamic shape to use in cartooning. I just make things a little pointer than they are. That's all.

Line weight! Building off of how I illustrate shapes, I use line weight to exaggerate it even further and also literally show the weight of the figure. Parts of the body that have weight on them or are foreshortened towards the camera get at thicker outline to exaggerate them. (Though sometimes I don't always do this) Parts that are soft outlines (Facial features and clothing details) get thinner lines or a small series of cross hatching lines. It's all about what you choose to put emphasis on. I also like to use exaggerated lines for clothing wrinkles to add to the gesture. Most of my specific art style is in how I do my line work. I use inking brushes with a dramatic taper to get the shapes I do. I highly recommend getting a traditional art inking brush and practicing on paper just to see the cool shapes you can get.

And finally, black space/ shading. I do have rather dramatic shading being that it's just part of my line art. Honestly, it's often rather unrealistic but really what's the point of drawing if you can't make things look really cool and dramatic? When laying out what the black space will be I suppose I think of how it'll frame the figure and what's really important. For example, Steve's back leg its all blacked out behind his front leg because it's not an important part of his pose and I wanted to use it show the surface he's sitting on without actually drawing it. Draw less details to show the details somewhere else, ya know? Use filled in shadows to frame other parts and put more emphasis on details. Admittedly, it does take some practice to get good at inking this way.

Little drawing rules for humans I don't even think about anymore but use all the time

Shoulders and hips always tilt opposite each other. It's what keeps the body balanced.

The main parts of the human body that show expression are the eye's and the hands. Also emotion in the eye's is like 80% in eyebrows.

It's okay to rework something that doesn't look right at any stage in the drawing.

Most average sized humans are 7 heads high and their shoulders. 2-3 heads across (Think this is in every 'how to draw' book ever)

The blank space of a pose is just as important and interesting as the filled space.

Okay! I think that's all I got. I'm not much of a teacher but I hope this was at least interesting and HOPEFULLY mildly helpful.

Thanks for the ask!

[professor-tammi]

why Edelgard is a distinctly Koei character (and why it matters), a mini-essay

I meant to write this years ago but never found the motivation, so it’s high time I did a write-up of this, because I consider it key to discussing the authorial intent with regard to Edelgard’s character. Three Houses is, at its heart, a Koei game, and so Edelgard naturally takes a lot of inspiration from certain Koei characters.

First things first, though: why am I so sure?

1. Who wrote Three Houses, anyway?

This is the staff list for Three Houses. You will likely notice that IntSys’ primary involvement is on the producer / director level; that is to say, IntSys were more of the... idea + designer people, for lack of a better word. But the vast majority of the staff are from Koei, and this includes the game’s three writers: Yuki Ikeno (lead writer), Mari Okamoto, and Ryohei Hayashi.

Yuki Ikeno, the lead writer, worked on the scenario for both FE Warriors and Age of Calamity, but has also had a hand in Koei-Tecmo’s flagship series: Dynasty Warriors (as a game designer) and Samurai Warriors (though admittedly only as a writer for a more story-light spinoff game, which was 4: Empires).

Mari Okamoto appears to be the most new writer of the three, and is the only one to not have worked on either DW or SW. As with the other two, she worked on FEW and AoC.

Ryohei Hayashi, however, worked on a whole slew of other Warriors games other than FEW and AoC. Most notably, he was one of the writers for Samurai Warriors 3, 4, 4-2, and the first two Warriors Orochi games (which is primarily a SW / DW crossover series).

Given this, I have good reason to believe Dynasty Warriors and Samurai Warriors influenced the writing for Three Houses in a significant way, which is something Yokota and Kusakihara (both directors) also hint at in this interview:

"We can't say it was very conscious, but you know, we always talk with Koei Tecmo people - and some of them have been working with Three Kingdoms for a very, very long time," Yokota says of the similarity between the Chinese classic and the rival countries and their heirs the player must choose between in Three Houses. "In our discussions, maybe it was an unconscious decision. We didn't say 'let's make a homage to Three Kingdoms' - it didn't happen like that."

"Perhaps it was for us a good starting point - to say okay, let's do our version of three kingdoms with three people, three countries," Kusakihara adds.

I’d like to argue that these similarities go far beyond surface-level “three kingdoms at war” stuff mentioned in this interview, and this is perhaps most noticeable with Edelgard.

2. Edelgard and Dynasty Warriors’ depiction of Cao Cao

Dynasty Warriors is a historical fiction hack-and-slash video game series based on The Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Each game in the series is a retelling of the original story (as well as history!), with some also featuring “what if”-scenarios.

Cao Cao, the Chancellor who leads the Wei faction, is one of the most important characters in the games. In the original book, he written as a cruel, scheming villain, but Koei’s portrayal of him is considerably more charitable (particularly in recent games), perhaps due to drawing more from historical accounts of the man, which were more morally grey. He is, of course, playable in all DW games, and the player can experience the story from his point of view.

What makes Koei’s version of Cao Cao similar to Edelgard?

Cao Cao is ruthless and willing to use any means to achieve his goal of ending the chaos in the country, regardless of who he makes an enemy of in the process... much like Edelgard.

Cao Cao is willing to side with his enemies if needed, rather akin to Edelgard’s decision to work with the Slithers out of convenience.

Cao Cao judges people by their merit and skill rather than by their social status, not really caring for tradition (and actively moving away from it, if anything, which was considered highly unusual for the time) -- and so does Edelgard. This is a very important quality of both characters and a big part of their fan appeal.

Despite Cao Cao’s reputation for ruthlessness, he is actually very caring toward his subordinates and treats them well, getting to know them on a personal level. Yes, this, too, is a trait he shares with Edelgard.

The DW fandom, for the most part, loves Cao Cao -- you’d be hard-pressed to find a discussion about him that does not have a bunch of fans arguing that he is the true hero of the series, not Liu Bei (who is the leader of Shu, the rival faction portrayed as more traditionally heroic, and who often comes under criticism from DW fans). Most fans acknowledge Cao Cao’s moral greyness, but -- perhaps ironically -- this only seems to serve to make them all the more interested in arguing that he was in the right and that his ruthless approach to the war was justified.

(I’m going to be completely honest here and admit that my area of expertise lies more with SW than DW, so apologies if this is not as in-depth a comparison as it could have been; the broader picture I paint should be accurate, at least!)

3. Edelgard and Samurai Warriors’ depiction of Nobunaga Oda

Samurai Warriors is Dynasty Warriors’ sister-series and is, like DW, a series of historical fiction hack-and-slash games, except this time the setting is feudal Japan (the Sengoku period, to be specific). Again, the games in the series are retellings of history, but with frequent AU-style “what if”-scenarios. One of the most important characters in SW is Nobunaga, who is constantly compared to Cao Cao both by fans and in official material (such as the crossover games).

Historically, Nobunaga was one of Japan’s three unifiers and a rather controversial figure who is often portrayed as an evil overlord-style villain in fiction. Koei, however, typically portray Nobunaga as an anti-villain, making him more of a cold but charismatic “ends justify the means” character. (This is very in line with their interpretation of Cao Cao.) He has playable routes in all SW games, and he’s also, effectively, the company’s mascot character.

Does he share similarities with Edelgard? Yes!

Much like both Edelgard and Cao Cao, he is cruel and ruthless in war, stopping at nothing to achieve his goal of unifying the country and creating a lasting peace.

Also like both, he eschews tradition in favor of modernity; notably, a key theme of his character is valuing the future over the present. Edelgard believes the sacrifices she makes by fanning the flames of war in the present are necessary in order to pave the way to a better future, and so does Nobunaga.

Despite his reputation for being a villain, he’s surrounded by a variety of very loyal subjects (who are mostly kind characters and not particularly villainous themselves), though many of which are rather blindly loyal. The Black Eagles house is similarly mostly comprised of “softer” characters. Not all subjects of either Edelgard or Nobunaga know the true intentions of the leader they follow.

Historically, Nobunaga called himself The Demon King of Sixth Heaven, who is one of the Buddhist Devils. Naturally, Koei reference this frequently in their games, and their portrayal of Nobunaga is explicitly critical of Buddhist values: he believes greatness comes from clinging to and chasing after one’s desires, in stark opposition to the Buddhist goal of overcoming suffering by giving up on said desires. Edelgard is similarly very openly critical of religion, believing that people should rely on their own strength rather than that of a false God.

More a fun fact than anything, but both Edelgard and Nobunaga are bi. :)

Nobunaga has a “rival” character of sorts who opposes him: Mitsuhide. In most SW games, Mitsuhide is a polite and kind-hearted man who starts out as a devoted subject of Nobunaga. Eventually, Mitsuhide’s belief in his lord falters, leading him to betray and -- ultimately -- kill Nobunaga, as he did historically. Notably, in an AU scenario in SW2 where Nobunaga ends up killing Mitsuhide instead, Nobunaga actually sheds a tear at his death; I would argue this has some similarities to Edelgard’s attachment to Byleth, which is also used as a way to humanize her in the three routes where Byleth sides against Edelgard.

Much as with the DW fandom, SW fans tends to take Nobunaga’s side in discussions, with surprisingly many being critical of Mitsuhide (despite the latter’s portrayal being considerably more heroic and sympathetic).

4. okay, but WHY should I care

This matters because I firmly believe these similarities are intentional. Edelgard is inspired by Cao Cao and Nobunaga, and here are some takeaways I have about her character with this in mind:

- If you’ve ever felt Edelgard’s methods feel a little too close to those of historical great men for comfort, well... it’s not just you. FE3H’s writers most certainly had actual historical people and happenings in mind when writing her.

- The Nintendo Dream interview that referred to CF as the “hadou” / “military rule” (覇道) route caused a big stir in the FE3H community and has already been discussed at length, so all I’ll add is that the word is strongly associated with Koei’s portrayals of Cao Cao and occasionally Nobunaga, with Cao Cao in particular using it as an almost-catchphrase. Coincidence? I’m not so sure.

- Edelgard’s goal of uniting Fodlan comes across as wholly imperialistic and seems at odds with her otherwise anti-traditionalist character, but the likely root of this motivation lies in the settings of DW and SW: in DW, peace comes from uniting the three kingdoms; in SW, peace comes from the unification of Japan. (These are also the goals of both Cao Cao and Nobunaga, though they die before achieving them in most routes.) “Unification” is symbolic of “lasting peace” for Koei’s writers.

- Some Edelgard fans will argue that she is actually the hero of the story, and her having a fully playable route that portrays her sympathetically likely serves to further confuse FE-only players; since when does IntSys let you play on the side of the anti-villains? Well -- IntSys typically don’t... but Koei always do. Crimson Flower is roughly equivalent to the Cao Cao / Wei routes in DW games or the Nobunaga / Oda clan routes in SW games in this regard.

- I think there’s not a lot of point in comparing Edelgard to previous FE characters, because they’re not who she’s chiefly inspired by. That said, an FE archetype Edelgard likely draws from is the Red Emperor, and this comes through clearly in her design. I’d like to also suggest that Edelgard’s post-timeskip design might be intended to evoke a Devil-like image (clad in all red + black horns) as a nod to her opposing the faux-Christian Church of Seiros.

- Some Edelgard detractors make the argument that her popularity and blindly loyal fanbase to a significant extent stem from the fact that she’s a pretty anime woman. Looking at how DW fans and SW fans treat Cao Cao and Nobunaga, though, I have to conclude this is unlikely to be the case; these characters are both older men, yet have loyal fanbases very similar to Edelgard’s. Charismatic anti-villain characters who uproot tradition and forcefully push for change are simply popular.

[gofancyninjaworld]

Hello! I've been binging your posts abt opm and they're all so amazingly detailed and well written, there are some minor stuff I disagree with, but tbh that didn't lessen my enjoyment. Really, what makes opm so good is that you can enjoy it on a surface-level, but if you bother to prod and poke and investigate some more, it also greatly rewards the reader. Viewing it as a comedy or taking it straight as a bleak world, both could still work

Tbh when I read a part of Saitama's pov causing friction against the dog eat dog world of opm, from what I recall that you said something along the lines, if it's from Saitama's pov, it's a comedy, it's lighthearted, the monsters aren't threats they're annoyances (sure, some aspects of Saitama aren't always for comedy, but the point abt the pov still stands). It does serve as a kind of a break or at least a form of escapism that things would be ok, in contrast to whatever everybody else is experiencing (which is complete and utter hell). It was why Saitama could afford to be somewhat static in a sense

But I think 166 is such a crucial chapter, in that Saitama's pov greatly stops being comedic (there are some comedic elements still, but the lightheartedness has straight up gone and evacuated) and starts crashing and merging into the reality of the world of opm.

For once, we actually see some genuine, devastating consequences on Saitama's end, and it is something he is accountable for. I do recall that you said WC Saitama's issue is that no one really holds him accountable when it needs to (?). While manga Saitama gets a tasting dose of that from King countless chapters earlier, this time he gets a heavy and brutal dose of it. There's no sugarcoating this. While yeah I have no doubt the other heroes would come back, esp Genos, but the fact it escalated to this degree when it didn't have to, admittedly some of the blame fall on Saitama's shoulders. It may be God's will, it may have been Garou's fist that tore out the core, but it was also Saitama's carelessness that played a factor on why Genos is killed. For a man who can travel faster than the speed of light, was it really that impossible for him to arrive on time to stop Garou killing Genos?

He's not perfect. This is his lowest point as a hero — even a hero must be aware that people you care about can and will die in the field, but I guess Saitama got so swept up in his emotions and got his determination in his identity as a hero broken, that he pretty much said fuck it and tried to throw an earth shattering punch with everyone else as collateral. From what I can see it diverges from WC, this isn't really a "hero" vs. "monster" fight bc Saitama has stopped fighting this for the sake of righteousnes or justice or knocking some sense into Garou but rather bc it's personal and he's mad and he's grieving. Not to mention Garou has no agency here, his body hijacked by God.

By all accounts, I think Saitama genuinely wants to kill Garou — and I have no doubt Saitama will win the fight physically, ideologically... He may have already lost the moment he threw Serious Punch with complete and utter regard for those around him. The only thing I wonder if he'll lose again if he doesn't calm down and gets informed that Garou is being controlled by God.

On one hand, I'm sad that I didn't reply to this when you first asked this because my answer would have been very different. Still, events did unfold in an interesting way.

Thinking back on it, I agree that Saitama really did want to kill Garou. He might no longer remember this timeline, but we see it and we know that he can't claim not to understand where Genos is coming from on his revenge quest. He's the guy who would destroy everyone and everything.

The struggle he had with Garou was not so much to beat the guy down as it was with himself so that he did not lose who he was or what mattered to him in the process. That was a huge struggle for Saitama.

And that determination of his to keep Genos's core safe at all cost is probably going to be much more important than we realise even now but we'll have to wait and see what comes of it.

The fact that Saitama *did* come back in time in order to save everyone in time in the end would have totally pissed me off but for the fact that being able to do so came down to Saitama finding grace and empathy for Garou. That's what got through to him and got him to stop luxuriating in the bad guy who deserves to be hated schtick so instead he went '...but I can do better.' And did.

In a way, it's a shame that Saitama doesn't remember these events, or he'd realise that he also owes Blast his thanks for keeping the Earth safe from him. Hehe, instead he's slandered Blast, albeit without malice.

[5mind]

stxr-bxster​:

“I mean, I’d still have to strip the components down to see what I can feed into the grinder…” Krigg’s hopeful smile soured a smidge as she grimaced, tapping her foot down as chemical formulas started streaking the surface level of her thought process. The fabricator machine was only able to detect what it was eating up to a certain point, so the tedious process of sorting and identifying the recycled scrap fell to her.

The units probably could’ve heard the gears spinning inside her mind, if they tried.

“But, I still wouldn’t have to carry everything. And hopefully, you can tell me what is what, in the pile of junk, and I can do the same in return.” She uttered, her slow and thoughtful wording growing more and more excited as she finally decided upon a trade remaining more than a bit beneficial to her. It was still, for all intents and purposes, a win-win situation. More out of polite reflex than anything, she waved off the red unit running off to gather supplies - only to feel herself flush as it dawned on her that they were still here, at least through the blue unit. She quickly shook off her fluster, continuing to think.

“…Hmmm. Maybe it’s a good thing you’re drones, rather than remote-controlled exoskeletons piloted by a random bunch of humans with a tech savyness. At least then, I shouldn’t have too much trouble asking for specific chemical composition-…” Krigg mumbled to herself, already running the scenarios in her mind of what she’d need, and admittedly feeling her attention slip away from the blue drone, whom had decided to put away the screwdriver and their hands up in a show of good will. She slowly turned back to her ship, walking to a small ladder running along the side of it, meant to access the wings and upper exit hatch, intent on mimicking the red unit and unloading the goods.

Her head jerked up as she placed a hand against the first rung of the ladder, snapping to the blue unit with a sudden sort of awareness. Oops, better safe than sorry! Krigg’s face scrunched back into one, final squint. “I redesigned, fixed and rebuilt this ship often enough to known it like the back of my hand. If ANYTHING goes missing, I WILL know.” She grumbled out, the words heavy with an underlying threat of…

Well, she’d figure it out.

“Stripping down materials.. we can probably help with that,” Blue Two commented. The AI figured it would get things done faster. “To an extent.”

While the android units did not have the same level of auditory sensitivity as Krigg, the blue android definitely caught the extraterrestial mumbling to herself. Drones? She thought they were just mere drones? Perhaps that was what they were intended to be upon creation but now they were so much more. The blue android a short staticky noise that sounded uncannily like a scoff. They would have to correct her some time later.

Krigg was right that she wouldn’t have to carry everything though. Because there was no way Fivemind was bringing over every piece of junk it has hoarded. In terms of raw material, it had a lot. It wasn’t even sure where to start. 

Red One was just getting started on piling up whatever they had. What with renovations and repairs, the machine had not gotten around to actually sorting out what they wanted disposed of. At the same time, they connected their visual feed to the modified ipad they had handed over to Blue. This would take a while, the device in Blue’s hand was an old frankenstein’s creature of computer parts after all.

On the other hand, the blue unit was being threatened by a being barely half her size. 

“Understood. As tempting as it would be to scrutinize it’s internals, the ship will not be tampered with.”

“I cannot lie.”

That wasn’t a lie. At least not when it was coming from Blue Two. They all had characters to stick to after all.

[honeytae]

I didn’t know you had a thing for bandanas.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIV! omg how do i even start...you’re not only one of my favorite people on this site but literally one of my favorite souls on this earth. you radiate warmth, wit, and yes...thottery :) so of course i had to write some grammys tae smut for you, right? of course i did. i love you so much, i hope you have a fabulous day and i’m sending you so so many hugs! happiest of birthdays to you @taetaespeaches, my sister wife, my twin flame, the best honey boy min enthusiast, my favorite wholesome thot! i love you i love you i love you <3

genre: smut (ofc)

warnings: GRAMMYS TAEHYUNG, suggestive texting mentions, tae’s a Tease™️, heavy petting and groping, grinding/dry humping, fingering, brief nipple play, there’s a handjob or two, unprotected sex (stay safe!), mild dirty talk and profanity, this is pretty much just filth i do apologize

word count: 2.7k

“Oh my god.” 

Huffing, you tossed your phone back onto the counter, staring back at your reflection in the mirror above the sink, lips parted in disbelief. You could not believe Taehyung, truly. He could be a tease, of course, but tonight he was on another level. 

The number of photos, that could only be described as none other than thirst traps, you’d been sent throughout the night was dizzying.

Spanning from the time he was getting ready for the Grammy’s red carpet to when he was backstage in that goddamn bandana for the Old Town Road performance, you’d already stashed them in a hidden folder, pulling them back up on your screen whenever your brain drifted to them again. Which, admittedly, had been a lot over the past few hours. 

Despite traveling overseas for the award ceremony together, you could not attend the show with him for obvious reasons. Truly, you didn’t mind. You weren’t about the glitz and glamour anyway; but fuck, he really wasn’t making it easy on you. 

In addition to the multiple professionally taken shots of your boyfriend at the show beginning to circulate, your texting conversation with him consisted of only attachment after attachment at this point, eyes practically bulging out of your head with each scroll of your thumb and hooking you in for more in his absence from your hotel room.

And that had been your only activity for the night until you decided to part from the television and get ready for bed. 

Groaning when your phone began buzzing repeatedly on the marble, you set the washcloth you’d been running over your face atop the surface, peeking at the screen and rolling your eyes when you saw your boyfriend’s name across the top of it.

Swiping your thumb across the flashing display, you lifted the phone to your ear, leaning your stomach against the counter as you mumbled a greeting. 

“Hey, why didn’t you respond?” He asked immediately, making you chuckle at his bluntness. 

“I’m still processing the information you’ve provided me with, Tae.” You responded, hearing the man’s deep chuckle reverberate through the device. 

“What information is that, love?” 

You could hear the amused teasing in his voice, smug grin prominent on his face as he awaited your reply. 

“The endless shirtless selfies, Taehyung. That is the information I’m referencing.” You said, thinking back on the several attachments you’d gotten notifications for over the course of the night, each time Taehyung was changing his outfit followed by a photo of him nearly naked in the mirror backstage.

“I thought they were tasteful.” He teased, giggling when you groaned on the other side of the call. 

“Biting your lip while gripping your bulge? Oh yeah, I’m sure Army’s would agree. Very tasteful.” You teased back, the man humming deeply.

“I don’t share those things with Army though, because those are for you only.” He smirked, you mirroring his hummed reply with a slight smile.

“When are you coming back?” You asked, tapping your fingernails against the surface beside the basin of the sink.

“We need to do one more interview, then we can leave.” He answered, a member of the staff speaking in the background followed by Hoseok’s laugh ringing out through the room.

You sighed in response, quiet enough that you thought he wouldn’t hear it. That thought was proven wrong almost immediately as he chuckled, the phone shuffling in his grip as the voices in the background turned to muffled noise. 

“What’s wrong, hm? Miss me?” He lowered his voice to presumably not be heard by others, his husky tone causing you to swallow a harsh gulp, thankful you weren’t video calling so you could play along with his little game.

“Mm, not particularly. I just wanted to play GTA with Kook.” You teased, smirking at Taehyung’s scoff, hairs raising on your arms as he chuckled into the phone and through your speaker.

“Alright. Well, you can expect Kook soon.” He said, tone smug as he heard the breath hitch in your throat. 

“Love you.” He murmured into the phone before abruptly hanging up, leaving you clutching your phone with a racing heart as you anticipated your boyfriends’ arrival. 

Trying to fight the now strengthened desire for your man, you blocked out the images from tonight along with the tone of his deep honeyed voice through the phone the best you could, reaching for your soap pump with a sigh. 

“Unbelievably rude.”

The silence of your room was awfully loud as you drew out the remaining steps of your skincare routine, hoping that if you took long enough then there would be less empty waiting time for your boyfriend. Your incredibly attractive boyfriend who you could not wait to get your hands on.

Your eyes continually darted to the timestamp on your lock screen, sighing each time as only a few minutes had passed since the last time you checked. 

If Taehyung could see how desperate you were acting right now, he’d surely have that god damn smirk on his face, one that would probably have your jeans unbutton themselves beyond your own control. 

Heaving another sigh, you distractedly stretched your neck from side to side, scrunching your face up in a grimace at the resulting snaps.

The closing of your eyes combined with the loud rush of water from the faucet seemed to drown out the sounds you’d eagerly been waiting for, nearly jumping out of your skin at the sudden addition of Taehyung next to you through the reflection of the mirror above the sink. 

His hair was still styled over that black and white patterned bandana, matching with the shirt that exposed just a touch of his bicep and a whole lot of his chest. 

Despite the immediate salivating of your tongue, you kept your shocked expression on your face, breathing out his name as you leaned a hand on the counter beside you. 

“Fuck, you scared me.” You placed your other hand over your heart, Taehyung grinning before reaching his arm out to pull you into his chest, pressing a kiss to each cheek before leaning back to smile at you.

“Sorry, love. Ended up leaving a little earlier.” He explained, smirking as your eyes glued to the bandana still tucked under the hair over his forehead. 

“Hm, I don’t mind.” You said, blowing a breath past your lips at the man’s appearance. 

“What?” Taehyung asked in reference to the action, his eyes blinking back at you as your hand traced over his long hair curled to perfection. 

“You look really fucking good right now. Not that I need to tell you that.” You mumbled distractedly, fixing the strip of fabric laying over the top of his forehead, Taehyung teasingly raising his eyebrows at you with a swipe of his tongue over his bottom lip.

“No, please do.” He said smugly, causing you to snap out of your lust-struck daze as you tapped at his shoulder with a snort.

“What an ass.” 

“That’s what I’m saying.” He responded, smoothly trailing his fingers down a bit lower to rest on your butt and gently grope the globes, pulling you flush to his chest as his darkened eyes held contact with yours. 

“Can you ever get your head out of the gutter?” You tried to say, gasps escaping every few words as he began pushing your hips into his, effectively grinding his erection into you.

“Hm,” he pretended to ponder for a moment, “with you, no.” He said, placing his hand on your jaw to pull you into a long-awaited kiss, soft yet sensual in the way he smoothed his lips over yours. 

Your breath caught in your throat as Taehyung’s hand slipped beneath the hem of your underwear, letting his thumb glide over your clit as his tongue invaded your mouth. 

The action was needy, as was the manner his fingers gathered the slick leaking between your folds to push up to fill your hole. Taehyung swallowed your moans as his fingers played in your pussy, his deep chuckles vibrating against you while his fingers dutifully pumped into your entrance. 

“Like that, baby?” He mumbled against your bottom lip, your mouth hanging open as you whined incoherently in response. He groaned at the spasming of your walls around his appendages, leaning his forehead against yours as he backed you up against the counter to stabilize your increasingly wobbly legs.

“God, you drive me crazy.” He grunted, rutting his hips into your thigh as you moaned his name once again. 

Squealing as he suddenly withdrew his hands from your underwear and lifted you up on the counter by your hips, you watched with raised brows as the man ripped your pajama bottoms and panties down your legs, easily tossing them onto the tile floor and leaving your lower half bare on the cold marble counter beside the sink. 

“Eager, are we?” You murmured, Taehyung smirking as he shuffled out of his pants, his boxers soon to follow as you took the liberty of removing his t-shirt from your torso. 

“And you aren’t?” He posed, taking the shirt from your hands and tossing it somewhere below him in the mess of clothes piling up beside his feet. Tugging you by the thighs, he smiled as you helped him by scooting to the edge of the counter, wrapping your arms around his neck as his own hands landed on your lower back.

“I didn’t say that.” You said, fingers tousling the fluffy hair at the crown of his head as he hummed, playing around with the clasp of your bra until it released with a small sound, the cups immediately releasing your breasts as he pulled the straps down your arms. 

“I consider it a good thing that we can’t keep our hands off each other.” He shrugged, gently prying your arms from around his neck to successfully remove the bra dangling from your wrists, pressing kisses to the pulse points of your wrists before laying them down in your lap as his hands instead landed on your breasts. 

You sighed as his thumbs easily circled your nipples, his eyes glued to your chest as he watched the buds twist into peaks with a small grin. 

“So pretty.” He whispered, making you blush as you distractedly reached for his dress shirt, snapping the buttons out of the holes in a haste to see his bare chest. The task proved to be difficult with Taehyung’s increasing pressure on your nipples, a knowing smirk on the man’s face as your pleading eyes desperately darted to his own. 

“Tae, this shirt is really testing my patience.” You sighed, the man chuckling as he reluctantly removed his hands from your chest to assist you in unbuttoning the shirt that had nearly killed you while watching him perform a couple of hours ago. 

As soon as he undid the fifth or sixth button down, your hands were on the revealed skin, feeling him like a madwoman as he lovingly chuckled at your actions. Tossing the loose material to the floor, he finally stood before you completely naked, placing a hand on the back of your head to guide you to his lips in yet another heated kiss.

Taehyung hummed deep in his throat as you reached down to pump his fully erect cock in your hand, taking the hint as you lined him up at your entrance with a push of your other hand on his shoulder. 

“Love you so much.” He mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut as he pushed his hips forward to sink into you, each inch providing you with a delicious burn as you let your head rest on his shoulder, his lips pressing a tender kiss to the side of your head as he finally fit himself snugly inside of you.

Starting off slow, he only slightly moved his cock back before pushing it in again, causing you to mewl as he started teasingly circling his hips inside of you. The grinding was nice, sure, but it gave you no real relief. Which he was perfectly aware of.

“Fuck me harder, Tae.” You whimpered out as he continued sensually grinding into you, taking your bottom lip into your mouth as he stopped his actions completely.

“Hm? What was that, love?” He cockily raised his brows at you, grinning at the look of pure frustration on your face.

“Fuck me harder. Taehyung.” You practically spat out, the man tutting at your tone.

“Where are your manners, love?” 

“Tae,” you whined, “please just fuck me.” You begged, Taehyung simpering as he picked up your calves, resting your legs in the crooks of his elbows to push your knees to your chest and effectively spread you wider for him. 

Picking up the pace of his thrusts, he groaned at the feeling of your walls squeezing around his cock, praising you with a moan of your name as he tilted his head up toward the ceiling. 

With you leaning forward to kiss his jaw, Taehyung broke eye contact with the vent in the ceiling, instead focusing on you as he continued rolling his hips into yours. His eyes held yours with intense force, only faltering with a flutter of his eyelids when your walls began spasming around him.

“Shit, I love your pussy, baby.” He breathed, placing his lips back on yours when you responded with a wanton moan, placing his hands on your hips to glide you along his length in addition to the force he pounded into you with.

You whimpered at the sudden speed in which his hips slapped into yours along with the depths he managed to hit with the angle, clutching onto his shoulders in an attempt to ground yourself as he groaned your name.

“Fuck, oh my god.” You cried as he sped up the pace of his hips, gradually working himself up into an almost inhumane speed as he quite literally attempted to split you open with his cock. His grunts punctuated each thrust, hot breaths fanning out onto your neck as he buried his face in your skin.  

“T-tae.” You stuttered as the tip of his cock repeatedly tapped at your cervix, Taehyung responding with a deep moan as he glanced down between your bodies, eyes glued to where you met over and over again as your walls tightened the hardest they had yet around him.

“Cum, baby.” He panted, lifting his eyes to watch your own squeeze shut with a gasp, the man himself falling over the edge at the sight. Nothing could ever get him off like watching you orgasm.

As he hastily pulled out of you, you whined at the sudden emptiness in your core, leaning your head back against the mirror in exhaustion as your droopy eyes watched him jerk his cock using your slick, only a few moments passing before translucent white liquid shot out from his tip and onto your stomach. 

Sitting up from the mirror, you fell into Taehyung’s arms, the man chuckling a bit as he rubbed his palm over your spine. 

“I love you.” He murmured, breaths finally evening out as he held you in his arms, your own loosely wrapped around his waist with your fingers caressing the skin of his hip.

“I love you too,” you leaned back to look at him, forehead pressing to his as you gave him a lazy smile, “and I’m so proud of you. You were amazing tonight.” You said, swiping his long bangs out of his eyes as he shyly grinned at you, his flustered reaction at your words causing you to giggle fondly. 

“I couldn’t have done any of it without you.” He admitted, misty eyes making you cup his cheeks as you pressed your lips to the plush skin on either side of his nose. 

“Of course you could have. You’re amazing Tae, don’t underestimate that.” You soothed, the man’s lips quirking up slightly as he tipped his chin to place his lips on yours. 

“Okay.” He whispered against your bottom lip, chuckling breathily when you began pressing feather-light kisses to his lips, exaggerating them with loud “muah”s making Taehyung’s eyes shut as he laughed. 

“You good?” You asked, his irises sparkling back at you as he nodded in confirmation.

“I’m great.” He said, reaching up to push his hair back off his forehead, the copious amounts of gel his stylists had put in his hair throughout the night defying the action and making it fall back onto the skin anyway.

“Good. Now clean your cum off my stomach, I wanna go to bed.”

[passerine-writes]

Symbols - Chapter 6

Warnings: Light mentions of s/h, crack humor, and lo and behold; more isolation Word count: 1829

Masterlist

Chapter 5 | Chapter 7

Getting ice cream after the practice nights is admittedly the most fun I’ve had in a while. After the boys all showered off, we went to a corner store and grabbed three pints of the cold, sugary treat altogether. Kuroo and Kenma shared one, Bokuto and Akaashi sharing another and I received my own, the boys more or less handing me my favorite flavor without taking any ‘ifs, ands, or buts’ from me. Afterwards, we walked down to the park, a different one from the regular but a middle ground between all of our houses. I chuckled under my breath as I watched Kuroo and Koutarou race for the swings, I took out my phone just in time to catch them half way into running and Superman jumping onto the swings, the larger of the two went flying off the swing from the force of his jump, causing him to awkwardly somersault over the play structures moving seat. Kuroo doubled over in laughter, his hyena laugh cutting through the quiet night like a hot knife through butter. I ended the video and without thinking, posted it to my Instagram story. It felt like nothing had changed for a moment, like there wasn’t a dreaded bond to acknowledge, like we were kids again back in middle school, like we were still fifteen.

“Oh, Kenma, I almost forgot to give you your PSP and headphones back. Thank you, by the way, the headphones really helped. Also, I beat the level fairly quick, it took me about two tries in half an hour into practice.” His eyes widened, fully exposing his slanted irises, mouth ever-so-slightly agape in shock. He gently took his game back and clicked onto the now completed level. Just like the old days.

“Thanks, I was on it for two weeks. How did you figure it out?” He placed his stuff back in his bag and proceeded to take a bite of the ice cream. Akaashi watched silently, surely analyzing me again, as I explained to Kenma the one detail he missed in his attempts, it was hidden and I missed it as well my first time around. 

The three of us slowly but surely made our way over to the swings, it was a giant kids play structure. Above the swings were monkey bars, there were two slides and other miscellaneous child activities in the play ground. But then memory after memory flooded back. 

This park is where I had met every one of them. I properly met Kuroo and Kenma while I was sitting on the bench under the sakura tree after school because it was the only place in the area familiar to me after moving. I met Akaashi on the bench near the path, he lived closer the this park rather than the one near Bokuto and I’s houses. And Bokuto, Koutarou, just three meters behind the swing set they were currently on. He was running towards the swings when I hit him on the head. He was with his grandparents that day and the park closer to where we lived was filled with families taking advantage of the nice day so my dad brought me here. I pushed down the rising emotions and confusion, not knowing how to process the realization that made my stomach churn. I suddenly lost the taste for my ice cream, granted I had already consumed maybe a third of it. However, at this moment, nothing felt real. It all felt so surreal, so much so, I didn’t even realize that the step up to the swings was there. My foot caught the lip of it and I was prepared to faceplant on the rubberized surface but instead felt two, toned arms wrap around my waist and steady me. Arms that I used to comfort me and lull me down from panic. The warm tingly feeling filled my body again, the concentrated point being the book on my ribs. I sharply inhaled and felt tears prick my eyes as I looked up to find deep, blue ones staring right back in fear and grief. He quickly dropped his arm, stepping back and taking a bow of apology.

“I- I’m so sorry. I swear it wasn’t intentional, it was a reflex. Seeing you fall, I didn’t want you to get hurt. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cross your boundary that you placed.” It was quiet and I fought every instinct in my body telling me to run, to run all the way home and not face them until school.

“I’m n-not mad. It was an accident, and as you said; a reflex. P-Plus it was bound to happen eventually, I guess.” His body visibly relaxed, but I could feel how scared and guilty he was. Let alone see it in his eyes. “I should probably head home though, my dad isn’t working tonight so if I don’t get home before curfew he’ll be worried.” Everyone nodded and Kuroo persisted on walking me home, despite it being out of his way. We walked in silence for the first three blocks, it was more tense than awkward.

“So, what was that about?” I nervously picked at my fingers, trying to stall, but it didn’t work. “Y/N, what’s going through your overthinking brain right now?” I exhaled a heavy breath and tried to organize my thoughts.

Growing up, Akaashi and later on Kuroo were the main people I confided in. it’s not that I didn’t trust the other two, it’s that I didn’t like burdening people, and I still don’t. Kenma has enough to deal with on his own, he didn’t need to deal with my problems but he could still tell when something was going on. And Koutarou, he gets overwhelmed faster than he would like to admit. He’s so empathetic, it’s almost admirable. So if he wanted to know what was going on, eight times out of ten, Akaashi would be there to either help calm him down or help me organize my thoughts.

“I got scared.” He didn’t push me to talk, knowing from experience I would do it at my own pace. “I know it was an accident, I can’t even blame him for that and I don’t. Now, I’m really vulnerable, and I despise feeling vulnerable. Bokuto has never been able to put together my feelings through the bond, he probably always assumes its the beginning of an ‘emo’ mode moment or it’s one of you guys. That’s why it’s been easier with just his bond being opened. You and Akaashi used to be able to read me like an open book, I can tell Akaashi’s been trying to but he can’t. And now so many things I’ve buried for so long might come up and I’m not ready for that.” He remained silent for a second, taking in the information. “You were right, y’know? About my parents being some of the reason and that you four don’t know the full story. You said by my reaction, you could tell Akaashi’s theory was right. I reacted the way I did because I didn’t want to tell you or Kenma until I had to, I don’t like telling people about my parents. When people found out any other time, it was pity and fake sympathy and even more empty apologies. I knew you guys weren’t like that, but it was refreshing. Moving to a new school a year later than everyone else, nobody knew and it felt like a fresh start. No rumors, no bitchy girls, no millions of questions getting thrown at me left and right. It felt nice, but like every secret, it gets harder to tell the longer you hide it.”

“You don’t have to tell us about any of it until you’re ready. But is it that terrible to have someone in your life who truly cares, understands or at least tries to, and isn’t going to hurt you?” We stopped at my porch step, and I felt trapped.

“Thank you for walking me home Kuroo, have a nice night.” He sighed and nodded before leaving. I found my dad passed out on the couch, a glass of water beside him and the TV still running. Quietly, I covered him with a blanket, took his glass into the kitchen and turned off the program he was watching. Once I got upstairs, I slipped into some comfortable pajamas and sat on my bed when I felt my phone buzz. And buzz. And buzz. And buzz.

From Kuroo: You never did answer my question little atom

From Akaashi: I’m sorry. I know I have already apologized, but I am sorry for opening the bond, albeit unintentional. However, I don’t want to break your trust, we all have been working to gain it back and allow you to feel comfortable around us at your own pace.

From Bokuto: I’m sorry I wasn’t there to catch you!

From Kenma: Are you alright after what happened tonight?

I sighed and rubbed my temples before responding individually.

To Kuroo: I never said I would give you an answer.

To Akaashi: Thank you for apologizing, but I assure you, you don’t have to.

To Bokuto: It’s okay, it was bound to happen one way or the other.

To Kenma: Yeah, I’m fine, thank you for checking in.

Nothing felt real and I tried to ignore the burning feeling circulating my body. It slowly crept up on me, my body begging for a stress release. I scratched my arms, trying to fight the urge off. A tear dripped down my face, falling to my lap as everything sunk in.

Meanwhile 3rd Person POV

The boys found themselves back at the Bokuto household for the night, like they do at least one day during each weekend. They all sat in a miserable silence, letting the feelings of dread and worry consume them. Akaashi blamed himself, knowing that you would all still be at the park acting like everything was the same if it weren’t for him catching you without a second thought. Bokuto blamed himself for not being beside her to catch her instead, thinking if he were by the girls side she wouldn’t feel however she does now. Kuroo and Kenma sympathized with the two sulking on the bed. Then an overwhelming feeling hit them both, Akaashi was the first to realize it was Kaara. But something about this had a sense of familiarity. The three other boys watched silently as Akaashi thought, the four minute silence was daunting but they all knew not to interrupt his train of thought. Only then did it strike him.

“Kenma, I need to talk to you. Please.” The Fukurodani setters voice coming out quiet, strained, and most of all; worried. Bokuto and Kuroo left the room, knowing this wasn’t something to be involved with yet.

[blackradandmad]

why blippi is rotting yr children's brains

preface: i literally expect no one to read this. it is an essay length, strong opinion piece critiquing a niche youtube-based children's show that i don't expect most of y'all to even have knowledge of lol. but like, i promise that even if you know nothing about what i'm talking about, in my incredibly, super humble opinion, it's a good piece of writing and interesting nonetheless. anyway if you read this whole thing for some reason yr really hot and we should kiss.

i thoroughly vet everything my child watches before he watches it, episode by episode. and we rarely watch youtube for entertainment; we usually just look up educational videos when he has a question about something and wants more detail than i can provide him. and that's mainly because children's content on youtube is so fucking troubling and distressing. i don't judge parents who give their children a tablet at a restaurant at all bc i've been there and sometimes it's easier on everyone to just put on a video and avoid a giant scene, but i do judge parents who just leave their children alone with youtube kids on autoplay.

take stevin john, a literal millionaire who got famous from dressing up as a silly character called blippi and going on tours of places like aquariums, zoos, construction sites, etc and posting it on youtube. this has branched into a whole empire of blippi videos, hulu shows and specials, live shows and tours (that he outsources to another character actor), merchandise and so on. this 30-something year old man cites his main influence as being mr. rogers, but i question if he's ever even seen an episode of that program.

mr. rogers had no background in early childhood development or media production, but he revolutionized the world of children's media, because he respected his audience and didn't shy away from real world situations, all while creating a show with an enormous heart. mr. rogers begins his episodes by inviting the viewer in, literally changing his attire to be more comfortable, and talking about/doing things he genuinely cares about. whereas mr. rogers calmly and maturely addresses the viewer, blippi puts on a high pitched, contrived voice, interjecting every other sentence with a forced exclamation such as, "teehee! we're having so much fun!"

i don't find it a coincidence that john (blippi) is a veteran, either. his videos are completely devoid of the absurd, abstract, childlike thinking that makes children's media fun, creative, and entertaining. his thinking and process is methodical, devoid of emotion, and very superficial. this line of thinking clearly shows the kind of creative sterilization and emphasis on sameness and conformity instilled in the military. blippi simply observes things and interacts with them in a stale, matter-of-fact way. "this ball is purple! this ball is pink! anyway... what's over there? teehee! a car! vroom, vroom!" objects are colors, toy cars don't do anything but drive, curiosity is simply not encouraged.

he uses the "it's educational!" excuse to hide the fact that his show lacks everything that makes media a valuable resource for children to consume in the first place. further than identifying colors, numbers, and the occasional letter or shape, there is just this total lack of children's need for social and emotional development. when mr. rogers breaks the fourth wall to address the viewer and let them know they're special, it feels authentic and natural, because we've spent the last half hour building whole worlds with diverse characters and unique stories in a pretend neighborhood, learning about and enjoying different musical instruments, being exposed to and making friends with (even if parasocially, it is still a real bond to children when done properly) children who are similar to us in character regardless of physical or environmental differences, feeding the fish, making art together, and so on. when blippi tells the viewer, "you are very special, and i enjoy spending time with you!" it falls completely flat and feels unearned, because the last half hour was spent running around a soft play center pointing at bright, colorful objects, visiting interesting locations like farms or fruit production factories while failing to acknowledge the humanity of the humans actually working there (everything is machine or product focused; the human workers are simply an extension of the machine), learning "fun facts" about elephants that just list attributes of elephants, not taking the opportunity to inform the viewers of elephants' intelligence, or diet, or matriarchal society. it is a loud, sensory overwhelming display of a man so disconnected from the social and emotional needs and desires of children that he assumes they're stupid, easily entertained idiots who only need some silly dances and fast-moving cartoon graphics to give their attention (meaning time and desire to purchase products meaning $$$). john clearly views his audience as a means to gaming the algorithm and ultimately a paycheck by the hollow way he addresses them.

the show is so narcissistic, so focused on all the fun blippi is supposedly having, but he lacks any of the character traits that make individual children's show hosts memorable, so much so that he was able to have someone else who doesn't even vaguely resemble him dress as blippi and impersonate him and host the show or appear at live shows, and it went unnoticed by most of his toddler and child audience. the show is so formulaic and the character of blippi is so unmemorable that instead of taking the blue's clues route of developing a story of the host leaving for college and his brother now stepping in, or making some sort of believable excuse for the change in actors, they can simply swap him out with some random guy and not acknowledge it at all. although a comedy show for older children, the amanda show in no way could or would try to replicate the show with the same name but swapping out amanda bynes with a random teenage girl who is clearly not amanda bynes. it's weird and nonsensical and shows that his character is so much of a farce put on for a paycheck that not even his dedicated audience is affected or even cares when he is replaced by a random, unknown person.

this is completely garbage content made by an opportunist with no experience with children who saw his nephew watching children's youtube content, took it at complete surface level and still hasn't realized that while children's content only looks and feels so easy, entertaining, and enriching because it is so hard to do well. even with outsourcing his music, that aspect of the show still sucks. famous and successful children's musician, raffi, is known for his song describing the life of a little white whale, called "baby beluga." it opens with a calm strumming of his guitar, followed by the lyrics, "baby beluga in the deep blue sea/swim so wild and you swim so free/heaven above/sea below/and a little white whale on the go." is it silly and kind of pointless? yes, but the point is that he is captivating children and showing them the fun of listening to music, dancing, singing, and appreciating art. the "excavator song" featured in an episode of blippi about construction vehicles opens with what sounds like a default garageband loop and the flatly sung lyrics, "i'm an excavator/i'm an excavator/hey dirt, see you later/i'm an excavator." i don't feel i have to meticulously analyze the aforementioned lyrics; the stark contrast should speak for itself.

i have a million more criticisms about both blippi specifically and youtube children's content as a whole, but this is already so long and i doubt many people will get this far anyway. it's an issue i was completely apathetic towards until i had my own child and had to wean him off these kinds of junk food shows because i realized the fast-paced visuals and bright colors and repetitive songs/lyrics were putting him in this spaced-out, fugue state, and he thought he could demand this show or that show whenever he wanted. the moment he started regularly yelling things like, "watch! cars!" or "no! click it!" i knew i had to be a lot more invested in the things he watched even if just for entertainment or as a soothing message. i showed him an episode of mr. rogers yesterday and feared it would be too slow to hold his attention, but he was mesmerized, greeting and interacting with mr. rogers verbally, asking me, "what's that?" to different objects on the screen. since purging this low-brow children's entertainment, he has had a noticeable increase in attention span and concentration, can focus on a task for longer amounts of times, is more likely to "read"/look through books without me initiating it, and doesn't throw a fit when the tv/my laptop is off.

i just know that for me, growing up with so much unsupervised internet access definitely led me to real-world pain and consequences, and it seems like now children are born with an iphone as an extension of their arm. if my child is going to be consuming videos, i'm definitely supervising every second and am going to be highly critical of the videos and the credentials (or lack thereof) of the creators and team behind it. but i also know, from pure observation admittedly, that parents letting youtube kids autoplay parent their children for hours at a time is not an uncommon occurrence. and it worries me that a generation of children are being raised on videos that rely on being as loud and bright and superficially enjoyable as possible. what's the use of a child knowing their colors and alphabet if they don't know how to treat people with kindness and empathy and respect? there is something wrong for a children's show host to plug the spelling of his name at the end of his videos ("well, that's the end of this video. but if you wanna watch more of my videos, just type in my name! can you spell my name with me? b-l-i-p-p-i!") after essentially rotting his audiences' brains for a half hour. there's something so insidious about the prioritization of naming different parts of construction vehicles over honest depictions of and conversations about dealing with feelings, or why someone with autism may act differently than you, or what to do when you feel lonely, or ways to make art and express yrself creatively. also, not to mention the blatant police propaganda and outright worship is seriously jarring; as a black mother to a visibly non-white child, i cannot sit there and watch blippi show kids how to be a bootlicker for the shittiest profession on earth, but that could be a whole essay in and of itself.

anyway, thanks for reading, if yr looking for quality children's content, i recommend, in no specific order: mr. rogers, sesame street, the electric company, molly of denali, daniel tiger, bluey!, blue's clues, the odd squad, word party, trash truck, puffin rock, uhh... that's definitely not an extensive list but that's just off the dome!!! ok bye y'all <333