#adhd lyfe

[myopinionisimportant]

Forgot my pills this morning, and forgot to take any with me to work, so for the first time in ages I am at work entirely unmedicated.

And I am STRUGGLING.

[hikeyzz]

WE GOT ANOTHER DIAGNOSIS BOYS 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[cloudselkie]

My ADHD meds are now "long term out of stock" with the pharmacy my insurance uses. I know a local pharmacy that has the brand, and my doctor's office is working on prior authorization for 30 days of the brand, but after that, I don't know what I'm going to do.

This could all be easily solved if the government actually took our needs seriously and lifted the restrictions on how much can be produced by pharmaceutical companies, but NO. They're sooooooo concerned about "controlled substance abuse" that the mental and physical health of millions of people doesn't matter. Then again, when did anyone in power ever care about us? I'm sure they think we just need to be less lazy and apply ourselves harder or something and we'll be fine. It's THEIR war on drugs that is literally making my life hell right now. I didn't ask to have ADHD. I didn't ask to need medication to function in a world that's not designed for my needs.

I'm so scared and upset and angry. I JUST was able to get back on my meds because my insurance started covering the generic version of my meds, and now I just can't get it at all. Fuck this fucking country. Fuck Democrats. Fuck Republicans. Fuck this administration. Fuck the war on drugs. Fuck insurance. Fuck the US healthcare system. Fuck them all.

[folkinsomnia]

sometimes i wish i could choose my hyperfixations. hyperfixating on Ulysses would be so much fun for me.

[scoups4lyfe]

Howdy scoups, how have you been?

-SS 🤡

SS!!!! Long time no see mon ami!!

I’ve been—okay.

That sounds depressing, but I’m not doing bad, I’m just unmedicated and job hunting.

Ever since I moved to this new state back in September of 2023, I’ve had a hard time working on my creative projects and things that bring me joy.

I’m stuck in purgatory, where I’m without meds and therefore trapped in an inability to do the things I want to do. I can’t write. I can’t draw.

I can’t liveblog.

Recently, I started writing a short story for a writing contest. The max word count was 5,000 words. On a good day I can write 3,000.

I did not have a good day.

I could barely force myself to write 100 words. Then I spent three days unable to write anything at all. I had to drink until I was drunk because for some reason when I’m inebriated I’m able to write. That night I wrote 1,400 words.

The next day I couldn’t write more than 30 words.

I was so frustrated I almost burst into tears.

I follow a lot of tokusatsu liveblogs. I see glimpses of Kamen Rider Gotchard, and the currently airing sentai and there is nothing I would rather do than watch it myself.

But. I can’t.

I can’t because I’ve grown to enjoy live-blogging as I watch tokusatsu. But I don’t have the needed energy to live-blog. So I can’t.

And that’s so upsetting to me.

Now—on a brighter note: 🤠

It’s not that I’ve been doing nothing.

I got re-obsessed with Thai BL drama KinnPorsche and it’s literally all I’ve been able to think about 🫠😫.

Started writing a VegasPete soulmate fanfic 🤡😔…

I’m also obsessed with Interview with the Vampire, the finale episode just finished airing like a day and a half ago. It’s sooooo fxKing GOOD!!!

Also.

I just finished painting something >:))

[prism-empurress]

I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO AAAASK BUT I HAVEN'T FULLY EXPERIENCED THE GAME YEEEET.

[thatstormygeek]

I've always been excessively irritated about the definition of "literally" to include its opposite, and I just figured that was some holdover from my grammar pedant days.

But.

Growing up with aphantasia (before that was even a thing people talked about), anxiety, undiagnosed adhd, and with everyone insisting I was a girl even though I knew it wasn't right, I just assumed everyone was pretty much speaking metaphorically all the time. Or I was doing it wrong. Or both. Usually both.

"Visualize a forest" = Oh, just think about some trees for some reason. I don't know how this is supposed to help me relax, but it seems to be working for everyone else, so I guess I'm just doing it wrong.

"I can't wait to get my period!" = wtf? why? She seems completely sincere, so I guess I'm just missing some information. I'll have to pay attention and hope I pick it up.

"Selling girl scout cookies teaches important life skills!" = (I can't even begin to parse this one out. The whole experience was so awful it's just a mass of negative emotions in my memory. One that covers a surprisingly large time period because it wasn't just the yearly cookies. It was school and softball and church and and and...all insisting we beg our neighbors to buy the same useless shit over and over again)

The way other people talked about these things was so utterly foreign to my own experiences that my child self couldn't conceive of how they could possibly be sincere. So I learned to closely observe and keep my own feelings and reactions hidden behind an expressionless mask. Trial and error--lots and lots of error--helped me figure out the tells for when someone was actually being literal. The consequences for being wrong ranged from embarrassment to injury, and I often couldn't predict how bad they would be, so I became more and more reserved and quiet. The smaller the audience for my mistakes, the fewer people inflicting punishment.

Years pass, I continue to observe and learn and improve to the point that I mostly pass as a functional human being on a day-to-day basis. I went off to college and my world expanded and kept expanding and I learned and contextualized a lot of things and so on and so forth.

And then the dictionaries said "Okay, we know y'all like using literally as an intensifier, so we're just going to add another definition saying that 'literally' also means 'figuratively.' It's cool. Language changes!"

Yes. Fine. Whatever. Except the emotional holdover from my confused-ass childhood is going to make me unreasonably bitter about it and it's going to take a wake-and-bake bullshit session with my partner in my 40s for me to understand why.

[phightingconfessions]

"why is half of this fandom nerodivergent" MADE ME BURST OUT LAUGHING INCANT DO THIS HLE TRUE <- (probably) undiagnosed autism or adhd or both who knows anymore

also coilgraft made me actually write something for the first time in months because I was going so insane

and also I got an A on my chemistry test I had today so yippie I have an A- now yippie the coilgraft curse has been lifted 🎉🎉🎉

-🤖🗡️ anon

COILGRAFT 4 LYFE! MY FAVORITE CRACKSHIP!!!

[punktaktics]

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ ◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤ volυмe : ▁▂▃▄▅▆

➶ ben / he / 25+ - local transsexual spider-man obsessor - 6ft / 155lbs - nerd of proportions, gamer, skater, adhd haver - stealth for lyfe, dysphoric as hell - hrt, no surgeries

➶ this is a side blog and personal. there WILL be tagged nsft content here.

➶ this blog is the product of being stealth since the age of 17 and having like zero outlet for being myself. i've passed as cis for so long and barely even had the confidence to talk about my sexuality in person. anyways fuck that i'm bursting at the seams, we ball.

➶ recovered (again) from ed this year- all mentioned fitness & health will be tagged accordingly. 30lbs gained so far baby!

DNI: minors, ed blogs, fetishizers, flat out p0rn accs

21+ to follow please and thank you.

✩ love u

[pandor-pandorkful]

Follow instructions? I cannot.

Gotta trial and error that shit 100 times until I come up with my own convoluted method that produces a result 100 times more satisfying than the tried and true directed method would ever.

ADHD LYFE BABEEEEE

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

165 of 2024

coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Soda from wine glasses because I like to pretend I'm cool.

chocolate bars or lollipops?

Neither, really. I'm not a sweets person.

bubblegum or cotton candy?

Ew, no. Both are disgusting.

how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Smart, but lazy - which I wasn't. I was diagnosed with autism in my 20s, but my psychiatrist suspects I might have ADHD as well. I have trouble focusing okay.

do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Wine glass as mentioned above.

pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Goth + sportswear, yes I do it.

earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds because smaller and I can easily carry them / wear them in public transport. But headphones have better sound quality, especially my favourite Beats ones.

movies or tv shows?

TV shows, no question.

favorite smell in the summer?

Fresh fruit like strawberries and cherries, sea air (but it's great any time of the year), bonfires.

game you were best at in p.e.?

Basketball. I used to be a semi-professional basketball player anyway.

what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Yogurt or oatmeal.

name of your favorite playlist?

Saltvatten (all sad music).

lanyard or key ring?

Why not both?

favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles.

favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The Catcher in the Rye.

most comfortable position to sit in?

With legs crossed.

most frequently worn pair of shoes?

These black canvas sneakers from Fila at summer, and black platform boots in winter.

ideal weather?

Sunny, warm, with some wind.

sleeping position?

Like a dead frog. All over the place.

preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Notebook and laptop. I like writing by hand.

obsession from childhood?

Michael Jackson lol.

role model?

My dad.

strange habits?

I bite my nails and I mix everything on my plate while eating.

favorite crystal?

Amethyst. But do precious stones count as crystals?

first song you remember hearing?

Anyone ever remembers it? I don't, honestly. Probably some Modern Talking.

favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Long walks on the beach.

favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Honestly, the same thing. Even better because not too many people there.

five songs to describe you?

Tourist LeMC, We Begrijpen Mekaar

NF, Hate Myself

Katatonia, Day and Then the Shade

Paradise Lost, Fader

Antimatter, The Weight of the World

best way to bond with you?

Have as stoopid sense of humour as me, don't judge others, and don't talk shit about people behind their back. Don't patronise or condescend. Don't be a Captain Obvious, too.

places that you find sacred?

My hometown, the city I was in today, one Polish city by the sea, and that's it.

what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

What does this actually mean?

top five favorite vines?

Do you mean that old website by any chance?

most used phrase in your phone?

I have prediction turned off.

advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Thankfully none. That would be awful.

average time you fall asleep?

Somewhere between 22 and 23.

what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

I don't remember which was the very first one, but probably kid on the internet. Or maybe Doge.

suitcase or duffel bag?

No difference for me personally, but we have suitcases.

lemonade or tea?

Lemonade all the way.

lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Never tried lemon pie, so probably cake by default. Wait until I finally try, though. Maybe I will change my mind. :P

weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

I graduated long time ago, but probably eight years old kids selling weed. For real.

last person you texted?

My dad. I sent him a photo from our trip.

jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Pants pockets 4 lyfe.

hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie, always and forever.

favorite scent for soap?

Honey.

which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Sci-fi, definitely.

most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Underwear is very much okay.

favorite type of cheese?

Gouda, but young. But I like mozzarella and plain cottage cheese, too.

if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Sour cherry.

what saying or quote do you live by?

I'm never gonna put boundaries on myself ever again. I'm never gonna say I can't do it. I'm never gonna say 'maybe'. I'm never gonna say, 'I don't think I can.' I can and I will. - Nadiya Hussain

what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Inside jokes with my sister.

current stresses?

My dad's cancer is my biggest concern right now.

favorite font?

That one that resembles typewriter. I'm in love with it.

what is the current state of your hands?

Left is partially paralysed and currently my fingers are somewhat relaxed (yay), right hand is okay but a bit shaky, both are warm.

what did you learn from your first job?

That nothing is impossible.

favorite fairy tale?

Snow White.

favorite tradition?

Polish Christmas dinner.

the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

I suffered a double stroke that put me in coma, but with my hard work and help from physiotherapists, I can walk again like nothing happened at all. Just my hand is still partially paralysed and it will stay like that forever. This is just one, but definitely has a big impact on my life. I became disabled within seconds.

four talents you’re proud of having?

Photography, scientific mind (good at physics the most), good ear for music, and I can't think of anything else.

if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

No idea. Never thought of it.

if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I don't know, I'm not much an anime person.

favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

"-...what a nightmare I had. I dreamt you wanted to eat my brain.

-But you don't have any brain.

-...are you sure?

-Absolutely.

-Oooh what a relief."

Never fails to make me laugh. XD Husband talking to his wife.

seven characters you relate to?

Morwenna Chynoweth, but I can't think of any more.

five songs that would play in your club?

Some metal, that's for sure. Doubtful I would ever have a club, though :P

favorite website from your childhood?

Something about cats.

any permanent scars?

Yeah. Three scars from brain surgery (I have metal plates in my head), one on my forehead from hitting the table when I was one year old, two small scars from knee surgery when I was 19.

favorite flower(s)?

Tulips all the way. I love irises, too. Also hyacinths (that scent!).

good luck charms?

I got a cros and a little train car with the old name of my company on it. I have them attached to my work keys.

worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Mojito. Ew.

a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Cheetahs purr and meow.

left or right handed?

I was left-handed by nature, but my left hand is disabled now.

least favorite pattern?

Zebra print.

worst subject?

Creative writing. I just can't.

favorite weird flavor combo?

I don't think there's anything weird in what I eat.

at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

I don't take such things. They interact with my medication.

when did you lose your first tooth?

I don't remember, 7 or something?

what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Fries. Yeah I'm biased. But I also love mashed potatoes with butter.

best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Anything that's not poisonous to cats.

coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Coffee from the gas station.

which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

I don't have a licence, never had.

earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones, definitely.

fireflies or lightning bugs?

Isn't it the same?

pc or console?

PC.

writing or drawing?

Drawing, or handwriting.

podcasts or talk radio?

Is there a difference anyway?

barbie or polly pocket?

I've never played with dolls.

fairy tales or mythology?

I like both.

cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies. Cupcakes are meh.

your greatest fear?

Death.

your greatest wish?

To be healthy again.

who would you put before everyone else?

My sister. And my dad.

luckiest mistake?

My first ex.

boxes or bags?

Depends on what we need them for.

lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Overhead lights.

nicknames?

Jelle.

favorite season?

Summer all the way. Long days and warm weather.

favorite app on your phone?

Spotify, YouTube, Find the Cat.

desktop background?

A photo of my beloved late cat Victoria.

how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

A few for sure.

[star-anise]

It's amazing how many ADHD people I know whose friends and family are just like "It's like they have no clue that this Big Bad Consequence will happen if they don't do this thing! I keep trying to tell them but it never sinks in!" and when I talk to the person themselves they're like, "I can't do the thing they want me to do, so here are my plans for surviving the Big Bad Consequence."

I think that a lot of us with ADHD have so much experience failing "simple" tasks that we just get numb to it. Failure is so normal it's practically inevitable. Success doesn't feel possible, so why worry about that chance we're "throwing away" if it was never going to work for us anyway?

(And of course our senses of what's acceptable, of what we should demand for ourselves, have often been ground into absolute dust. Of course I'm going to fail the test/flunk out of school/lose my job/get evicted; of course I should meekly accept this as my lot in life and not ask for any help in "cleaning up my own mess." We're almost never taught to question authority and demand better treatment that understands our disabilities.)

Non-ADHD people tend not to get: A lot of the time it's not our understanding of cause and effect that's totally broken. It's our sense that we are competent people capable of shaping better lives for ourselves, and that we deserve support and understanding.

[peridotsarelongterm]

Shout-out to all the former “so mature for your age!” children who really just liked to read and had no idea how to communicate with humans their own age. 😭🤣

[lemonsharks]

This is what I did with my calendar

Now my phone tells me what time of day it is every several hours and I have a visceral color coded understanding of what time an appointment is going to happen, which has really helped with my ADHD "waiting mode" (malfunction when a brain wired to process time as now/not now is faced with the cold reality of "not now but also not not now" aka why a 3:00PM commitment will ruin your entire day.)

It took about 30? minutes to set up and the power of repeating events means that it will do this until I manually un-set it uo

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

I'm fully off my old ADHD med now and instead of being able to prescribe me a new med to start with last week, my psychiatrist had to reschedule for a month and a half later.

I'm not best pleased with him, and being unmedicated is honestly kinda hellish. I'm veering wildly between hyperfocus and not being able to drive safely or fucking feed myself. It's a good thing I know how to access emergency psychiatric care in Edmonton (Access 24/7) because I fucking cannot live like this. Especially when I have to fight multiple bureaucracies and move house by the end of July.

So my new plan is to jump into the extra special gamble of accessing emergency short-term psychiatry resources to see if someone who's never met me before can prescribe me a brand new drug that will help me in time.

"ADHD is societal, you don't need meds" COME FUCKING FIGHT ME

[earlyaughts]

Dark urban/eldritch fantasy headcanon: ADHD is the product of genetic tinkering by Old Ones to create functional heralds and more sophisticated human servants. The lack of focus/short term memory means that people with ADHD have a better chance of being able to move past the all-encompassing awe and majesty and grandness of a Great One because to even attempt to process it requires too much focus and the ADHD brain quits on those tasks before it gets started.

Its why ADHD didn't show up until the late 1600s, because that's when the Old Ones started breaking through.