#additions countersuggestions etc welcome

[queenlua]

ace attorney drink headcanons

franziska von karma:  one of those intimidating people who always drinks martinis and never spills a drop

athena cykes:  oh god, poor kid.  everything i was drinking at that age: cosmos, lemon drops, moscato, basically whatever on the menu has bright saturated colors and high enough ABV to kill me

maya fey:  she is the brave soul who always orders the most batshit-sounding thing on the menu.  clarified milk?  earl gray tea?  turkey stock?  chartreuse?  all valid cocktail ingredients in her book!

also, she’s lucky as hell, so instead of getting stuck drinking something that tastes like shoe, everyone asks to try what she ordered, and It’s Insanely Good Actually, and she gets to smugly watch as everyone else orders the same thing

more under the cut—

phoenix wright:  maya occasionally bullies him into ordering the most batshit-sounding thing on the menu, except whenever he does it, he ends up ruefully drinking something that tastes like shoe.  rip.

in general his preferences are very flexible, and he’s never bothered to figure out what’s Actually Good, so his liquor cabinet is this ridiculous mix of Actually Very Nice Stuff that people have gifted him, as well as Whatever Was On Sale At Kroger That Week, and he has no idea which is which so he just throws out a random assortment whenever company’s over

miles edgeworth:  a wine snob, obviously, but to everyone’s surprise he’s not a French Wines Or Bust kinda guy.  instead, he actually did a bunch of tedious research on the most promising but presently-underproducing wine regions nearby, and got memberships at like ten different wineries.  turns out, he was right, and now everyone in Paso Robles loves him & knows him by name & also all the bottles he’s had aging in his cellar for the past decade are now worth $$$, because he’s just got that good of taste.  he judges you if you go on a trip to Napa, that place is so overrated nowadays, but he at least has the grace to judge you silently. 

the first time he spends the night at Phoenix’s place, he peeks in the cupboard and sees a couple of those supersize bottles of Yellowtail moscato and/or some Franzia, and he nearly ends the relationship right there.  like, god, Phoenix, college has been over for ten years, have some standards

kristoph gavin:  also a wine snob, but of the French Wines Or Bust variety.  at some kind of office Christmas party, Kristoph and Edgeworth end up having a “casual” chat about wines, and it turns out they disagree on nearly everything, and also, Kristoph was radiating some Menacing Vibes, and honestly this dumb wine chat, more than anything, convinces Edgeworth that Phoenix is onto something.  this Kristoph dude is messed up.  who doesn’t enjoy a good cabernet sauvignon.  who.

simon blackquill:  the first time Simon ever goes to a bar, he excitedly asks for a Samurai Spirit.  the bartender naturally asks “what the hell is that,” Simon explains that it’s totally a real cocktail recipe he found on the internet, and the bartender insists he’s never heard of it.  no worries; Simon spent yesterday googling all the weebiest drinks he can think of.  maybe they have this one very high-end unfiltered sake?  nope.  what about a Bushido Blast?  nada.   what about a Peregrine?  buddy do we look like the kind of bar that keeps fancy liqueurs just lying around?  look, let me just make you a rum & coke because i got other customers to deal with, buddy.

naturally, Simon’s so put out by the whole experience he declares drinking to be bullshit for a while.  eventually Athena takes him to some bar that’s running a weeb-based menu during the local comic con, and Simon knows true joy again

...i can also imaging him going through an expensive scotch phase, just to be difficult.  (ever had that asshole at your party who’s like Actually I Only Drink Glenfiddich 18 Or Better?  yeah.  infuriating!)

apollo justice:  Apollo was a teetotaler for most of law school, until one Saturday night, when the stress was just Too Much, and he said “fuck it” and went to a big loud stupid party with people he only kinda liked.  he proceeded to drink way too much, and thus spent an entire evening/early morning/midday at the altar of the porcelain god, which convinced him Never Again.

he eventually got over it and now drinks a bit socially, but not often and not much.  it turns out alcohol really hates him.  he gets hungover as shit on, like, three beers.  poor dude

gumshoe: my fave salt-of-the-earth dude drinks Budweiser and/or Asahi, like a true red-blooded Japanifornian

i don’t have good ideas for Mia beyond “god, she’s so cool, just the coolest stuff you can think of,” nor do i have good ideas for Klavier (like, German beers? but that feels way too lazy/uncreative?), nor for Godot (are there... coffee cocktails?), so, suggestions welcome!