#adam: you're a human how tf did you do that

[vox-off]

eilidh and cameron have been sparring partners since college. eilidh still looks more like a dancer than a boxer, but she's fast and crafty and surprisingly sturdy. she has to be or she'd lose to cameron, who's a fucking menace with his fists, more than she already does. violence is also her absolute last resort, unit bravo probably doesn't see her acknowledge her gun, let alone draw it, or even throw a punch until the sanja rescue in book 2

i'm picturing adam approaching his first combat training with this waifish brainiac of a woman like 'okay, probably gonna have to teach her how to make a proper fist before we do anything else' and then getting just absolutely decked first swing

[ajearthlinggg]

exposing you based on your fav will wood/wwatt song (my longest post)

A lot of these have nothing to do with the song. They're basically headcannons lmao. My Blake Jennings is showing

No instrumental chnt except Rhumba sorry

i started this in June enjoy

EIAL

6up 5oh copout: its low hanging fruit to say you hate cops, and I'm taking it. You hate cops.

Skeleton Appreciation whatever the fuck: Covid RUINED you

Front Street: you like Heathers

Aikido!: how's that obsessiveness and inability to let go going?

White Knuckle Jerk: you also like nu metal for the same reason. (Its incredibly horny)

Cover This Song: same as Aikido but only with your exes omg do not text them they are assholes

Thermodynamic Lawyer: PLEASE take time to calm down when you get overstimulated I promise if you don't do anything abt it you will have such a terrible mental breakdown

Red Moon: YOU LISTEN TO MALE MANIPULATOR MUSIC STOP TRYING TO HIDE IT YOU CANT BE IN THE RADIOHEAD CLOSET FOREVER

Lysergide daydream: I honestly do not like this song at all so you get a pass (don't kill me)

The First Step: you're usually quiet but you know how to SCREAM.

Jimmy Mushroom: you're usually quiet but- I'm just kidding. You're always quiet

Chemical Overreaction: you're usually quiet but if- I'm just kidding. You are never quiet

Everything is a lot/dte: insomnia. I dont know why,but insomnia

Self-ish

self/ish: closet theatre kid

2012: fast talker to a not comprehendible level

Cotard Solution: turn off the v-sauce it is 2 am

Mr. Capgras: turn off the 🌽 it is 2 am

The Song With Five Names: you have incredible taste. You can't describe that taste, but hey, its incredible

Hand me my shovel: you were the only talented kid in your elementary music class

Dr. Sunshine is Dead: you love the smell of cigarettes

TNA

Suburbia overture: BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD

222: your English teacher loves you (you're so goddamn gay)

Laplace's Angel: your English teacher hates you. How do I know? Because you can't pronounce anything (its la-plass-es not la-place-is)

i/me/myself: you have to beat off the fake fan allegations with a stick everyday

Wbtta: hey queen. How are those hyperfixations going

Outliars and hyppocrates: you spell the title wrong every. damn. time.

bbw: same as 2012 but holy shit triple it.

Marsha, thankk you: dyslexia and ADHD

Love, me normally: I get it. I'm not even gonna expose you. You already have it bad enough

Momento Mori: you are just SO quirky! (knives whisper things to you when you hold them)

Icimi

Tomcat Disposables: you'd shove photos of your pets in your friends faces even if they were dangling off a bridge

Becoming the last names: you either have wonderful parents in a happy relationship or your parents have been divorced for years and you will never relate to this song

Cicada Days: stop using self deprecating humor around the wrong people PLEASE

Euthanasia: this song is a masterpiece I have nothing to say about you.

Falling Up: WONDERFUL TASTE. AMAZING CHOICE. NO RECOLLECTION OF YOUR CHILDHOOD.

That's enough: you love Alex g you just don't know it yet

Um its kind of a lot: you either already love Scott pilgrim or it will happen. Its a canon event

Half decade hangover: omg twinn!! I have an addictive personality, too!

(I feel like this is a good time to say don't take these too seriously)

You liked this: ...what?

The main character: you can't relate to the song, you hate yourself

Sdrr: IF I SEE ONE MORE PERSON TAKING THIS SONG SUPER SERIOUSLY IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT YDHZJABXV

Bfb: ur just a silly lil guy

Willard!: you're a therian. There is no human explanation to this.

white noise: you love pink floyd you just don't know it yet

Atkf: HOW TF DID I FORGET THIS ONE anyways you get bad habits (nail biting, staying up too late. Etc)

CHNT

Yes to err: you are still waiting for chnt season 2 BC you want to see what happens with Adam

Your body, my temple: I have a strong feeling you have a tummy ache right now

Venetian Blind Man: you love nobody sexually you just don't know it yet (this is a very ace choice idk why)

Rhumba of Death: you LOVE Halloween

When Somebody Needs You: Tyler the Creator is probably your favorite rapper

Live

Trww

Self/ish: You can't sleep if your room has the SLIGHTEST amount of light in it

10-4 6-up: unlike the original, you don't just hate cops, you hate anybody who can tell you what to do (your teachers are probably just trying to do their job. please)

Cotards Solution: you can't sleep without background noise

Dr Sunshine Lives!: You never get sick physically (mentally on the other hand...)

Where do you get off: omg the horniest of the horny. Gerard Way on stage levels of horny. Nine Inch Nails levels of horny. (Or you really like Umbrella Academy idk why)

Aikido: you can't relate to it. You hate everybody

Take a break grab some water this is getting long

Thermodynamic Lawyer: you have gotten kicked out of restaurants because of how loud you are

Front Street: WE GET IT. IT'S BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL.

Wasting away again: I am so sorry holy shit

Hand me my (x), I'm (y): you suck at algebra

The First Step: you wish you could do the AUGHHHHHHHH

2012: severe social anxiety

Mr capgras: literally the opposite of 2012 (live)

Chemical Overreaction: you know so many random fun facts

Fibrodysplasia: I'm not even gonna talk about your mental issues because I will be banned from this app (which is pretty much impossible)

Icid

Cicada Days: you also get a pass fuck I'm so sorry

The main character okay you ACTUALLY can relate to it

Icimi: OMG I LOVE YOU

atkf: you cry every day even if you aren't sad

Becoming the last names: please don't become a Disney adult

Vampire ref: LISTEN TO MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING IT OFF AND IK YOU LOVE HOT VAMPIRE MUSIC

Half decade hangover: oh my god talk to somebody it'll be okay I'm so sorry

Tsw5n: you love the way he says "what the fuck"

Euthanasia: once again, ANOTHER PASS. IM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY

Jimmy Mushrooms: You. Me. Marriage. Now.

Laplaces Angel: you listen to LitWTC

i/me/myself: you were trying to separate yourself from the normal i/me/myself fans

The first step: idk why but you REALLY like lemonade

skeleton appreciation day: you can NOT play any instrument

tomcat disposables: you love concept albums

White noise: unlike cotards, you need to sleep in SILENCE

Love me normally: arctic monkeys. that's all I have to say. idk what about them but, yeah

misanthrapologist: GAY QUEER LGBT HOMOSEXUAL FRUITY ZESTY ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE OF THE SAME GENDER

Falling up: wonderful taste once again please don't become a Disney adult

thats enough let's get you home: you say "YIPPIE!!" a lot

And if I did: god made you shy because he knew if you weren't you would be unstoppable

[zero-is-nebulous]

Uuuh here's my art dump for the reverse omens au I made

I can't remember which artist came up with the moth demon Aziraphale but credit goes to them, I just liked it and decided to run with it (I'll see If I can find them to drop a name sometime l8r)

Text ver under the cut

Aziraphale - really a quite terrible demon (original temptor)

Moth broach

Walking stick

Same outfit p much

Hair pattern silly

Majic man style coat

Eyes...

Moth antenna

Raphael - bored Archangel, human expert and healer (Crowley)

Outcast Archangel

Azi's pocket watch

Moth pendant

Devious smirk

How 2 draw skinny jeans?

Shoes...

Snake tattoo

(Text pages at the end, typed out below)

The story goes like this...

Aziraphale, thinking that keeping the diffrent between right/wrong from life is silly. He believes it's the right thing to do to introduce it to the humans. He is past looking to the all-mighty for morality, and really just does what he thinks is right. He disguises himself as an angel to offer the fruit to Adam + eve, and then discorporates the angel of the Eastern gate (unnamed angel, soon to be demoted for being bested so easily) to give the humans their flaming sword. He watches them go from the top of the Eastern gate, now non-disguised

Archangel Raphael is bored, hating how heaven is run but not wanting to ask questions after the fall of their last 'example'. He loves his stars, and wishes the world would be as interesting as them. He often visits the garden, so he sees Aziraphale on the wall and, bored, goes to be nosey

Crowley: the principality for this post taking a break?

Aziraphale: looks it, doesn't it? Whoever they were, they did quite an awful job. The humans are already a mile beyond the wall. Perhaps heaven is doing it all wrong then, hm?

It turns out, demons are quite talkative. And interesting

Crowley: hm, so you're saying you don't know what happened here?

Aziraphale: not a single clue. I suppose that's to be expected though, no?

Crowley: oh? What makes you say that?

Aziraphale: well, it's as she said. I'm not quite meant to ask questions. Her plan is ineffable, after all

Crowley: ineffable?

Aziraphale: quite. Silly, isn't it?

Crowley: I never said a thing, uh,

Aziraphale: Aziraphale

Crowley: Aziraphale

Crowley: how tf did u get captured by the Spanish inquisition?

(Dressed 2 the nines)

Crowley: I'm gonna myrical u outa this bc I have a heavenly duty but let it be known I think you're one of the dumbest motherfuckers I have ever met

Aziraphale: teehee

(No longer a fashion icon)

Crowley: dramatic ass demon

Sorry this is so terribly layed out tumblr kept changing it after I posted

[hammerhead-jpg]

Rewatching the begining of the house of Solaire series as a redacted fan, three years after it's release, as someone who honestly didn't really like it

Summit live reaction esque post alright

Warning: I luuuv redacted okay I just don't like the start of this particular series alrightttt I'm not a hater okay don't come at me (also this isn't some serious critique/analysis dw we're just messing around)

First off: Audio RP | found by a flirty vampire

The best part of the first video is the beginning with the video tape being played that's honestly such a slay move

CRINGING RIGHT AWAYYY EUGG

I honestly hate beginning Vincent I wish a piano would fall on him

WHY IS HE FLIRTING SO AGGRESSIVELY AN INCUBUS TRYING TO FIND A CHARGE WOULD BE MORE CLASSY

And this is an old video (the first one to be exact) so he's doing that weird half whispering thing and there's no sound effects

Idk why y'all headcannon Lovely to be a woman this creature is completely fine with some stranger coming up to them in a dark creepy abandoned theme park and hitting on them aggressively they have the preservation skills of a dodo bird

"just what kind of things have you heard? Maybe that uh... devilishly handsome men with pale skin and silver eyes prowl the grounds?"

"demons are very much real"

William and the other clan members listening to Vincent break covert for some they/them bussy: 😐😐😐😐

"Oh I know I'm very close, you're welcome!" KILL YOURSELF!!!!!

I HATE when he calls them "little one" YOU'RE WEIRD are you 20 or 40 PICK ONE YOU CAN'T BOUNCE BETWEEN BOTH YOU'RE WEIRD

"Oh hush I'm not touching" STOOPPP STOPP ITTTT IF YOU PULL THIS SHIT WITH THE WRONG PERSON YOU'RE GETTING TAZED

"do you work out?" YOU ARE GAAAYYY🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

"And a blush! Oh how cute" WHITE MAN MOMENT!!! WHITE MAN MOMENT ERIK YOU ARE A WHITE MAN!!!!

First "Lovely" drop how we feelin

Adam is getting cucked HARD at that meeting rn send a prayer for him

"You should be very grateful that I found you before one of my counterparts did." WHY ARE YOU JUST STRAIGHT UP ADMITTING THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLAN THAT WOULD HURT AN UNEMPOWERED HUMAN THAT WONDERED ONTO WONDERWORLD GROUNDS??? KICK THEM OUT????

"I'm old enough to keep my hunger in check. Some of them are still... learning." Now Adam is not only getting cucked but getting dissed also pray for that man

"Your blood practically sings to me, you know that?" This is a good time to remind the audience that Lovely at this point still thinks that Vincent is pretending to be a vampire and still hasn't booked tf out of there

7:18 tummy rumble #1

"it isn't safe here at night." Why??? Again if there are legitimately clan members that you think would harm a human beyond what is allowed by law you shouldn't keep them in the clan??? I get that this is supposed to foreshadow Adam but isn't Vincent at this point supposed to believe that Adam is just a newborn asshole who doesn't like following the rules? IF YOU THINK HE'S CAPABLE OF INJURING OR EVEN KILLING A UNEMPOWERED HUMAN FOR FUNZIES TELL THE DEPARTMENT ABOUT IT???

"You'd barely be able to walk by the time I'm done with you" RUN LOVELY RUN

WILLIAM AND ALEXIS AND SAM ARE LISTENING TO THIS BTW.

8:40 tummy rumble #2

"all you have to do is call my name" okay I get that vampires have superior hearing but are we supposed to believe he's going to be able to hear them calling out for him across the city? How is my man not constantly overwhelmed?

Vincent going back to the meeting like "what did I miss lmao"

Honestly congratulations on Erik because people saw this video and went "you know what, I'm gonna subscribe to this guy"

Thank God this isn't the first video I saw because if it was I would be doing my impression of what Lovely should've done as soon as Vincent approached them and sprinting away at full speed

Next vid:

Audio RP | Finding a flirty vampire in your bed

LOVELY RUN A STRANGE MAN THAT PRETENDS HE'S A VAMPIRE JUST APPEARED IN YOUR HOME CALL THE POLICE!!!

He just called himself a hunk I'm killing myself

Vincent you are no hunk half the fandom headcannons you to have the sluttiest waist and aesthetic skinny Pinterest fingers you are a twink

I saw the imperium AU alright. I was THERE

And I'm not just talking about imp Adam, I'm talking about Imp! ASHER. You think I didn't see that shit?

"What's the matter Lovely? Weren't expecting to come home to find a man on your bed?' YES.

"These sheets are heavenly by the way. I'm sure they must feel good balled up in your fists."

The sheets in question:

"So many questions, don't you ever go with the flow?"

Vincent really just said "when I'm waiting for you in your bed after a long day I want appreciation! Not this "Who are you?" "How did you get into my house?" "What are you doing here?""

DON'T YOU GIGGLE AT ME LIKE YOU'RE CURRENT VINCENT I STILL DON'T LIKE YOU

AND YOU LOVELY DON'T YOU HIT HIM ALL PLAYFULLY LIKE HE ISN'T A STRANGE MAN THAT BROKE INTO YOUR APARTMENT!! YOUR ASS IS NOT HONEY SIT DOWN.

"Where exactly are we standing in terms of your beliefs?" Now he's talking like a therapist great.

3:21 tummy rumble #3

"Alright I'm serious. This is my serious voice. Can't you tell?"

Eugghhhhhhhhhhh

Senorita awesome everybody

"are you afraid I might put you in some kind of trans?" Too late 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

"bend your will to mine? Make your body and mind my playground?" Literally leave this shit to Adam. I don't need both of y'all pulling this noncon fantasy bullshit

"they gotta be contacts" wait til this mf find out some people have gray eyes naturally

My ass was so disappointed when I found out their eyes weren't red listening to this for the first time

"see? *tap tap tap* fangs" you can get fangs implanted by a dentist. Like I get you really are a vampire but like you're making this game extremely easy

7:33 tummy rumble #4

7:47 tummy rumble #5

Listen, if a strange man pins me down onto my bed to prove he has special abilities, super strength or not, I'm kicking him in the ballz to prove a point

"I wanted to take you right there." IN FRONT OF YOUR WHOLE CLAN??!?!?

Current Vincent: the Solaire clan doesn't need to kill to get what they want. I only killed Adam because I had to

Ep2 Vincent: I would've killed anyone who got close to you lmao ♥️

I want to focus at the matter at hand but all I can hear is Erik's chair rattling

"that was too close... I almost lost it" Vincent is turning into Lasko yay

"I won't loose control"- Vincent an episode before he looses control

And there he goes

Next vid:

Audio RP | Flirty vampire looses control

Time to get reminded that I actually hate Adam and that he's not just a silly little fact got vamp

HIS VOICE SOUNDED SO DIFFERENT EUGHHH

WHY HASN'T HE HIT PUBERTY YET ☹️

"What's the matter? Your little boyfriend never transed you before?" Well somebody's jealous

"I never would've pegged Vincent as the uh... sentimental type?" Believe me there is no universe where you're pegging Vincent in any way shape or form

1:09 tummy rumble #6

"We could all hear the conversation you two were having ya know." Yeah and you were edging yourself the whole time

"Oh relax I'm just touching you." Adam.

"Is a vampire toying with you a lot less fun when he's not a self conscious little coward?" ADAM😨

"Vincent isn't anything in this clan, I hope you know that." BOOO BOOO🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅CRINGE

For the love of god stop squealing you fruity piece of shit

This fucker is so gay why are you standing there fantasizing about what sort of intimate acts your nemesis was doing to this person

4:34 tummy rumble #7

Also someone please tell him to stop doing that weird ass high pitched wheeze laugh it's getting annoying

EWWW I DON'T LIKE TONGUE NOISES NO NO NOT LIKE THIS

How I imagine Vincent slapped Adam:

"Evening Vincent 💞😋" this fucker so gay

Him saying "oh fuck" with his voice all quivery and shit wasn't because he was scared it was cut he was hard I know Erik told me personally

The way Vincent doesn't sound intimidating at ALL LMAO

Imagine just getting practically assaulted and the guy who saved you starts growling "mine" I'd kms personally

"He, Adam, got my predator instincts going." SHUT UP OMGGGG

9:33 tummy rumble #8 ERIK EAT SOMETHING BEFORE FILMING GOTDAYM

"Why did you have to come here? I told you to stay away." You see it is because they are stupid. Hope that helps!

UGGG I HATE HIM "When Adam tries to bite you it's weird and fucked up but when I do it it's hawt🤪"

Vampire slurping noises yay

I like how in the desc he clarifies that Adam and Vincent are two different people and that it's not a Jekyll and Hyde situation

What he thought we were gonna think happened fr:

I'll probably do more videos later but I'm tiered now

[liliallowed]

okay so remember how I keep comparing dusttale to amphorous?

turns out is more like rainworld mentality. everyone wants to fucking kill the gods and it's like...

tribbios. honey you're literally talking about a genocide. and bal blah blah you knew it's a false prophecy but want to give people something to believe in...

tribbios? tribbie you put that idealism in phainons head and now he's turned into dust sans. that shit? it's your fault don't SMILE AT THE SCREEN LIKE YOU'RE SOME HOLY MAIDEN OF PEACE! YOU LITERALLY SAID YOU'D BE THE SACRIFICIAL LAMB.

YOU STARTED THE LOOP!!!

don't fucking anime pacifist butshit me! you literally screwed things up a hundred times worse!!!

at LEAST the world would die ONCE but nooooOOO you had to ignore oronyx WHO PROBABLY FRIKING KNEW THUS WOULD ALL HAPPEN.

you misunderstood

tribbios. honey. that one person that remains? that ain't you or your clones. it's poor fucking phainon. you thought you'd bear that pain but nope!

anyways. you do not get pretty privilege or cutesy privilege you literally ruined everything.

like I obviously don't think tribbios had bad intentions but she did kinda...

but I guess it wouldn't matter. because of course hoyo is going to give this tragic story a happy ending they wouldn't have the balls to stick to it.

if they did? now that's the shit! give me and irreversible tragedy!

still like... themes of idealized sacrifice and the whole greater good...

would tribbios still be saying that if she realizes this is the same mistake the corrupted nikador?

well intentions do not mean GOOD ACTIONS.

the reaver is the flame chase journeys extremist. it even calls them fake gods!

like holy fuck this is some good shit. if phainon really got inspired and follows tribbios footsteps.

girl you literally created a monster. it's this stupid martyrdom mentality that would make anyone in a time loop snap and become a war criminal. WHAT DO YOU MEAN TOMORROW. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN YOUR GOD DAMNED PARADISE. THAT PROPHECY SCARES TF OUT OF ME! I RATHER SUFFER IN THE PRESENT!

the story frames this mentality as a good thing but ...

tribbios. you fled up...

and I know it comes from a place of kindheartedness and innocence...

tribbios you made a self fulfilling prophecy that literally swallows it's own tail and everyone fucking dies.

then you're like: teehee! new world and the flowers bloom birds are signing and on days like these titans like them are gonna just stand by wait to be killed, humanity reigns and ALL PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED?

prey tell in what fucking idealistic world is there not going to be pain even if one is in paradise you're bringing people not to death but obscurity.

that's even WORSE.

then again she's like... she probably didn't have much of a choice.

thing is why is everyone so adamant about bearing the weight of the world on their shoulders? that idealism is friking dangerous. extremely harmful even if you think you're the hero.

the story FRAMES her as the hero but

I don't like it.

tribbios you created monster.

[obeiii-mee]

Hi I hope you're fine! Can you make the reaction of the brothers to a Mc who managed to overtake Salomon and made 100 pacts, the 100 th being ... Diavolo himself ?! (idk if it is really possible) Thank you love on you

I don’t really know if it’s possible either but I gave it a go anyway! I love this concept tho because MC, being the powerhouse they are, now has absolute control of 100 demons one which is actual prince of hell. Idk why I find that funny tbh.

I hope you’re well too and that you enjoy reading these HCs!

————————————

The Brothers Reacting to MC who made 100 pacts:

Lucifer:

-*Surprised pikachu face*

-I’m sorry, w a t?

-Not only did an average human,with no magical capabilities whatsoever, beat a spectacular sorcerer in the span of just one year and managed to make 100 pacts before him

-But they also made a pact with Lord Diavolo as a grand finale??? (MC knows how to leave DevilDom with class holy shit)

-If you look closely enough, you can see Lucifer’s wheels spinning inside his head

-And here he thought you were going to get eaten in the first few days

-He needs to sit down for a few moments, his fucking logic has decided to take a walk

-He really went 0-0

-And on one hand, he’s totally impressed and actually very proud of their little exchange student

-But on the other hand, when tf did you have the time to make 100 pacts??

-You talked with at least 92 other demons and didn’t get murdered?

-Are all humans this hard to kill off or it just you?

-Taking aside his confusion and the way he worries like a middle aged parent, he’s actually pretty boastful about your situation

-Pride on another level, I’m telling you

- Pretty smug about it to Solomon too which is concerning because he isn’t really supposed to have favourites in the exchange program

-But he totally does

-“MC, you’re full of surprises aren’t you? You’re ability to adapt here is very impressive. Just don’t get too reckless, I don’t want you getting hurt.”

-Aw your tsundere and arrogant boyfriend actually really cares about your well being

Mammon:

-“But I’m still your first man, right?”

-Literally the first thing that leaves his mouth when he finds out

-Doesn’t matter how many pacts you make, he’s always going to insist he’s your first and therefore your best pact of them all

-He may freak out a bit at first because he doesn’t like the idea of you possibly chatting it up with other demons but he’s pretty chill

-Until you tell him about Lord Diavolo

-“Guess who just made a pact with Lord Diavolo!!”

-“Is it someone famous?”

-He’s a bit scared because the price you have to pay to be in a pact with Lord Diavolo is pretty damn high

-But if you keep insisting you will be fine, his worry will subside

-He’s a bit smug, like Lucifer, knowing you beat a powerful sorcerer in a non existent contest that he just made up in his mind

-Like “In your face Solomon, MY HUMAN got to make 100 pacts before you had the chance. Haha what a loser.”

-I feel like the brothers sometimes wish to just abandon Mammon somehowere so they don’t have to deal with this

-Dude doesn’t care how many pacts you have or with who as long as you remember ‘he was your first man.’

-Of course you of all people would be able to attain such a significant achievement

-You were his human after all

-No matter what you do, he will be even more smitten with you than before

Levi:

-“That’s cool. Will you pass me my headphones.”

-“....”

-“Wait....you did whAT?”

-You’re telling him that he barely has the courage to step outside the House of Lamentation but you can go right ahead and start making pacts with demons like it’s nothing???

-Did he just get beaten at life by a normie?? His normie even??

-He’s really panicking because the shit you’d have to deal with when making that kind of bond with Lord Diavolo is apparently very terrifying and he’s scared something bad will happen

-Pacts also mean markings on your body, so his whole jealousy thing kinda sparks here

-Because ‘it’s not fair you have all these people’s pact marks on you while mine is barely visible!”

-Even though his is like, really obvious too???

-Other than that, he just feels like you’re gaining EXP and getting stronger, like a video game character which is cool

-I want him to show up whenever MC gets in a new pact and just shout ‘Level Up!’ at the top of his lungs lmao

-He doesn’t have that much of an opinion on Solomon, besides his cooking, but he’s impressed and a bit scared that you can outdo a human like him in something as dangerous as this

-Lololololo, Solomon got wrecked by a human normie what a noob XD XD #badassnormie #solomoncanteven #gameoversorcerer

-The brothers seem pretty adamant at rubbing the salt into Solomon’s wounds, can we get an f in the chat for our white haired wizard boi

Satan:

-He knew that humans were capable of a lot of things but what the fuck?

-How is that even possible???? What is the likelyhood of a random human managing to make 100 pacts???

-He is probably the most unsettled because he relies on probability and logic to get him through his day to day life

-And that shit don’t make no fucking sense

-He’s not agitated, just very shocked

-And then he realises the potential threats you’ve been exposed to considering all the demons you’ve had a chat with

-So now he’s just thanking Lord Diavolo that you weren’t eaten alive by some lower level demon scum

-Don’t be surprised if he asks you how you went about when you started making pacts with demons

-You were always a bit of a special case and you certainly stood out from the very beginning but this was something completely different

-For a human like you, that is a very respected achievement you’ve unlocked

-Satan figures that since you made pacts with him and his brothers, you would try to do so with Lord Diavolo too

-But he actually accepted?? You just kinda gave up part of your soul to the demon prince and now you have full control over him???

-It’s amazing how easily you could make demons of all things to trust you

-He respects that and also appreciates your tactical approach to this as well

-It’d be pretty easy to summon a demon to get your ass out of danger if the need arises

-He has no idea what you do to him but it’s strange he would rather let you ramble on about the backstory of every pact you made in the past year than read his collection of books

-Wrath certainly isn’t the only thing in his heart right now

Asmo:

-#conflicted

-His partner beat his ex fuck-buddy at making a pact with Lord Diavolo

-Asmo knew you were special ever since that retreat at Lord Diavolo’s palace when you managed to summon him with such power

-But he definitely wouldn’t have guessed you would be capable of something like this

-Your bravery when it comes to this sort of thing endears him a lot

-He will probably want to see all of your pact marks now (haha you’re in danger)

-Unlike his brothers, he knew damn well why you had managed to make around 100 pacts in just one year

-Demons aren’t used to anything genuine or with good intent

-So, it makes sense they would be attracted like magnets to you and your approachable, kind nature

-After all, demons can’t deal with temptation very well

-Solomon is cunning and ominous, not that different from anyone else down there and it’s a fact the brothers don’t even trust him that much

-But Lord Diavolo?

-“MC honey you hit the jackpot! Tell me every little detail!! What happened? How did the topic of a pact come up?”

-He’s not worried about you overall

-Not because he doesn’t care but he believes that if you can survive for a year with the seven avatars of sin and also convince 93 other demons to make a pact with you, then you can handle whatever Lord Diavolo throws at you

-He probably buys a bunch of revealing clothing you can show off all of your marks because they look ‘fabulous’

-It’s the only think he’s gonna talk about for a while because how many other humans can say they have control of the prince of Hell???

-Asmo also acknowledges that Diavolo must have trusted you a lot for him to agree to this which he thinks is incredible

-He will definitely listen if you have any stories on the pacts you made because he finds them very thrilling and he loves the sound of your voice!!

-Again, he doesn’t need human souls, just a mirror, some skin products and drama to survive

-And you, if I had to guess

Beel:

-The calmest our of the seven about it

-You made a bunch of pacts? Cool, it just shows how strong and independent you are

-Which made him respect you even more to be honest

-He flinches a bit when you tell him about Lord Diavolo because he knows that the prince isn’t the type to agree to anything without being given something in return

-Even if he knows you can handle yourself, he will be right there beside you to help you out

-Also, uh, don’t tell Belphie about the pact thing Diavolo. He might blow a fuse

-You guys work out together sometimes and he is usually utterly mesmerised by all the pact marks you have on your body

-He kinda wishes you would have asked him or one of his brothers to come along with you when you made your pacts

-Just in case things went wrong

-He regrets a lot of things that had happened until now, but one thing he absolutely cherishes is the pact you made with him

-Beel is aware that his brothers think the same and if you think you can deal with the pressure of having some many demons under control, then he won’t nag you too much about being careful

-As for the Solomon thing, he doesn’t have much to say

-I mean, yeah, he is a sorcerer and you’re just a human but if you could make a pact with Lord Diavolo in such a small time frame before he even had the chance to?

-It means you’re just as special as he is

-And definitely a better cook

Belphie:

-ok maybe humans aren’t as stupid as he originally thought them to be

-Making pacts with so many demons is something that takes strength and intelligence, so props to you

-He would never admit it, but you being able to do all this shit without batting an eyelid is seriously restoring his love for humans and their culture

-might take a while tho

-He also wonders when you had the time to make so many bonds, considering he spends most of the day with you at RAD and at home

-Eh, he was probably asleep

-His view of you before the incident did a full 180 degrees

-This sort of thing in DevilDom is something worth praising, especially for an average human like you

-And ‘I guess you don’t look all that bad with so many pact marks on your body *angy boi blush* but I still like mine best!’

-It might be best not to mention the Lord Diavolo thing, otherwise his brain might snap in two

-But turns out, he seems pretty relaxed about it

-Too relaxed, I would say

-“Hey do you think you could use your pact with Lord Diavolo to do something that would tarnish his reputation and maybe embarrass Lucifer while you’re at it, idk.”

-Ah, so that’s what it was

-He’s such a mischievous, spoiled brat

-“No Belphie shush.”

-“I’m just saying-“

-Despite him hating humans way less nowadays, he still holds somewhat of a grudge against them

-Old habits die hard I suppose

-Especially for Solomon whom he never liked in the first place

-He finds it very amusing when he figures out you just beat Solomon at his life’s work in under a year

-He has a good chuckle about it but never actually brings it up in front of him

-Because he knows you’re gonna flick him over the ear for it

-Belphie is the youngest sibling and therefore the spoiled child, can’t change my mind

(Ok so poor Solomon, I kinda want to give him a hug now lol. Hope I didn’t make these too repetitive or short. Thank you for reading!)

Al~

[elliemuze]

do you ever actually do anything for the "oppressed" you support on this site or is it all performative liberal bullshit

Well, for one I don't send anon hate to strangers on the internet, so that's a great genesis point.

Frankly, there's not a lot I can physically do at the present moment - it being a pandemic, of course, since your corner of the board was so adamant to label this disaster a hoax for like, what, a year+? (I'm assuming you're a Trumpy peddler, based on your political buzz words, but hey, I like red herrings. Surprise me.) I'm also disabled, so that throws a wrench into the works as far as most options go.

When I was abled, I used to participate in relief efforts on-site in Haiti, Nicaragua, all over the US. I worked for and dedicated my life to a non-profit for over 5 years, as well as several other charitable causes when I had the time and financial means to do so. Regardless, having that opportunity doesn't make me a better activist or person than anyone else doing their best in this world to make it better, nor is it in any way a quantifier for how Good™ a human being you are. Sometimes all people can do is spread the word and treat others with respect and dignity and compassion. What the fuck have you done lately besides slap on your gray face and gargle horseshit into the void without context or clarification or basic common sense?

You want history to remember you, and I assure you it will. But not as rebels or truthseekers. You'll go down in the annals of the ages as the pitiful, loudmouthed, obnoxious foreheads that you are. You will be the butt of every joke and the antagonist of every lesson. You will become foolish caricatures of actual human beings, because you long ago bartered away your own humanity in a desperate attempt to follow an orange, talentless howler monkey straight into hell.

Free advice: stop being a massive rectal orifice and do something positive with your life. Step away from the internet and all your incel buddies and reflect on a time when your heart wasn't so overrun with hate and vitriol. Grow up. Do better.

(And stop harassing small blogs. Seriously, how tf did you even find me? I have like 10 followers and we all share a brain cell.)

[findme-at1am]

Since alot of the minors felt the sudden need to justify themselves on this post and can't find this addition, here ya go! It goes a lot deeper than, "kids don't know what they're talking about! So they can't have opinions!" Since that also sounds a whole lot similar to "kids don't know what gay or trans means" type of homophobia/transphobia. It's specifically about this Tumblr site as a whole being your first introduction to the LGBT+ community. There's misinformation, no/very little history or input from older LGBT members, and a lot of gatekeeping. Tumblr is already toxic on it's own without fighting people over how they identify, terfs targeting trans people, death threats and anon hate over things that aren't even personal/worth it, tumblrs mob mentality.. add discourse and people questioning your identity. Every. Day. It's very toxic for everyone, but especially minors.

So what do we do now? Tumblr is known for it's large LGBT community and politics, a place with it's own anonymity that was a place for me to express myself without outing myself. A safe space, as it was to most of us. Tumblr has attracted people who have been ostracized by society, specifically the LGBT community. But how can people explore their identities in a place so toxic? So awful? It's not like we can go to the outside world, there's no LGBT history class (us centric)... And personally, I'm lucky to meet someone LGBT that's been in the community where I live... So it's hard of me to ask you all to talk to someone. Especially since you're young and wanna figure yourself out and it's 99% not safe or your not comfortable...

Like we're stuck in such a unique situation... How TF do we continue?

I initially came to Tumblr because I felt safe, and dear God was I lucky to not have gotten into any discourse in the first 3 years of Tumblr. I didn't even know what discourse meant. I didn't even know I was pan/LGBT. I just felt safe to question things, and eventually myself. Now that I'm comfortable and love myself, I can't even exist as a pansexual, asexual (Demi), and nondysphoric nb... That's three strikes, I'm out... What do I do? What can I do?

That's why I'm so so so adamant about teens and young ones and literally anyone new to the LGBT community not being introduced to the LGBT community through tumblr... I want people to have that safe space I did. Not knowing of "discourse", no judgement, nothing but that safety net to question your identity without someone telling you that you don't exist. But I realize you can't get that anywhere else, that anonymity to be at least a little safe from the outside world. You don't exist/shouldn't in the outside world, and now you don't here either.... Then tumblrs push to be perfect and make no mistake at all, no learning on your own time whatsoever.... There's no where else to go.

I'm sorry it got so dark, but that's what this whole post was supposed to be about. Until the idiot I am, tagged it discourse for my followers to block and not realizing it'd blow up. I'm not looking for arguments or debating or whatever, this post was supposed to be just a rant. And I was hoping to take my time going over each point over a months time.... so I tried explaining in the best way possible, but I still felt rushed due to the reblogs and my ADHD kept making me stop for 30 mins to think over everything.

Small (BIG) note, if y'all wanna start getting into discourse anyway, respecting people's DNI's is a good start to learning basic human respect. If you take anything from this, at least understand that.

(I had a lot more I wanted to say but forgot due to taking care of 3 week old kittens, so ask questions instead of assuming stuff if something's not clear. If someone leaves a reblog who obviously didn't read this, you're just getting the 🤡 emoji.)

Minors I'm literally begging you to not get into discourse on this hellsite, just... Don't. Especially LGBT+ related, please please please get your first LGBT interaction offline, in real life at Pride. Or talk to those who have been in the community longer than tumblr has been here. We, out in the real world, are so much more welcoming.