#adam smoot

[elklounge]

Fatal Kiss (2002). I have been waiting for awhile to post this! Awhile back I bought the VHS for the short film Fatal Kiss directed and written by Jeff Rector. The film features Ted Raimi. This was considered lost media for quite awhile. I’m so happy to get to share it all with you.

I currently have it in digital format and am gonna be uploading it to a drive link as well as potentially YouTube. Other places I may upload this will be the internet archive to preserve media. I should be posting it by tomorrow if not tonight:) Thank you all for having patience. Ted Raimi nation I see today as an absolute win for his lost media!

Sorry Teddy that both Fatal Kiss and Fountains Clowns have been found (Although I think he was so good in Fountains Clowns. Still thinking about his chest tattoo they gave him.)

[ampheenix]

Whatever It Takes

SUMMARY:

The Exorcists cheered loudly, hooting and clapping as they pumped their spears in the air, and Adam pointed right back at them, his satisfied grin widening. “THAT’S RIGHT LADIES! Now, we’re gonna GO DOWN THERE and KICK SOME FILTHY SINNER ASS, YOU HEAR ME??”

“YEAH!!” Vaggie yelled in response with the rest of the group, and Lute stalked forward as she raised her weapon in the air triumphantly. “DESTROY THAT ASS!!”

Lute made eye contact with her briefly, and maybe Vaggie was seeing things but before she turned to the rest of the crowd, her smile seemed to brighten and she sent a quick wink. Vaggie felt her heart speed up, flustered against her will.

“ALRIGHT, YOU READY BITCHES? CAUSE HERE!! WE!! GO!!” Adam yelled victoriously, punctuating his words with bangs of golden magic before he ripped open a portal in the sky, soaring up towards it.

He pointed towards the Heavens (ha) before screaming...

“ATTAAAAAACK!!!”

Or, the story of Vaggie's life in Heaven... and the toxic romance that blossomed between her and Lute, before everything Fell apart.

Because we all know how this story ends... but how did it begin?

CHAPTER ONE: I really hope (that I'm ready for this)

Vaggie’s life was pretty damn good, so far.

She had only woken up in the golden city of Heaven a few months ago, but it felt like years had already passed… Sometimes it was hard to remember her life on Earth.

Vaggie had thought for sure she’d have some regrets, at least- she had died so young, and in such a horrific way, but her old life seemed so distant now.

Upon first arriving in Heaven, the gory memories had been so disturbingly fresh… glancing up, deer in headlights, lump in her throat and thoughts frozen because fuck, this was it wasn’t it and then-

A BANG loud enough to shatter her eardrums.

Outside the gates of heaven, she had splayed a shaky hand on her heart, memories so clear that she could almost sense the ghostly wounds of where metal bullets had punctured the skin. But now…

That all seemed so distant, so far away. Just a few hours in Heaven had her darker experiences of Earth already faded and wishy-washy, almost like it was all a dream. And maybe it was, compared to life in Heaven.

Vaggie hummed to herself happily as she ran a brush through her hair, tying it up in a short ponytail, feeling light as air. She ran a finger across her halo, a smile shining on her face as she felt its bright warmth, knowing she was the essence of its brightness.

Angels didn’t really have to get ready in the morning but… it was nice to keep up the same morning routine, she thought to herself as she pulled her uniform on.

After all, Angels always smelled lovely, hair clean and silky regardless of when they had last showered, eyes always bright and awake with no need for a morning coffee.

Vaggie let herself fall with a light “thwump!” on her bed, so soft and cozy she could sleep there forever. And she could, if she so pleased; the idea of so much freedom in her day-to-day life still delighted her.

Anything she could want, for the rest of her life in Heaven… she let out a content sigh, silvery wings stretching out lazily beneath her. But she had no time to rest, today was an important day!

Vaggie hopped off the bed, padding over to her golden desk. On it sat a very special helmet… one only the most athletic and quick-thinking Angels possessed. The idea still filled her with a buzz of energy, that SHE had been picked from the masses to join such an exclusive group!

“The Exorcists… the Exorcists. The Exorcists!” Vaggie whispered to herself, the word rolling off her tongue like it had always belonged there, gazing down at the black and grey uniform she wore.

A group selectively chosen to keep Heaven safe, and in such a selfless manner that none of civilians could know about it. Given the prized duty of exterminating the filthy demons down below, who no doubt longed to rise up and destroy all of Heaven… according to Adam.

Vaggie ran a finger along the cold, smooth helmet… the faces on them were pretty scary-looking, but it made sense. Intimidating the sinners would mean that they would all be less inclined to fight back, which could be disastrous- Angels were immortal, but an injured Angel might have to retreat back to Heaven, and it would be a real shame for them to miss out on something so important.

It was nice to have a sense of purpose again… Vaggie smiled to herself. Heaven was lovely of course, and lazing about was always fun- but having something to do that was important really helped make her feel at home.

She shook herself. No more self-reflection!! She had to get down to the base soon, it was starting soon.

Her first Extermination! It still didn’t feel real.

Vaggie stowed her helmet in her bag, before extending her wings and soaring across the room to retrieve her Angelic spear. All set and ready to go, but she couldn’t help the shiver of nervousness that ran down her spine.

She had been training for a short while now, but still didn’t feel fully ready… oh well, its not like the sinners were hard to kill, and at least Lute would be there!

Lute… shit, she was seriously amazing. She had been doing this so long that she was Adam’s second-in-command, but even with her responsibilities she had made time to show Vaggie the ropes!

A heat in her cheeks (DEFINITELY not from thinking about Lute and her skill with a spear, absolutely not) Vaggie bounced out the door, silvery wings shooting out and carrying her up above the shining streets of Heaven.

She waved energetically at her neighbours who were out and about, disappointed she had no time to chat this morning- normally she would soar in and they’d talk about anything under the Heavenly sun.

Flapping her wings hard, she flew up and up, higher and higher… before folding her wings in, letting the wind carry her down in a long, smooth dive. She let out a call of excitement- “WHOOOOO-EEE!” all the way down, her body spinning as she soared through the air. God, that was fun.

Vaggie continued flying through the city for a few more minutes, revelling in the cool air whooshing past her body as she twisted and turned throughout the colourful and shiny streets, the beauty of it all near blinding.

Adrenaline rushing through her and the wind buffeting her short ponytail, she stretched out her arms as she flapped her wings harder and harder. She soared upwards and reached for the pastel clouds, running a pale hand through the pink and purple fluff and feeling lighter than air.

Soon she reached the bustling main city of Heaven, sending small smiles every which way and getting them returned even brighter by the cheery citizens. She glided higher and higher, seeing her destination- a huge peach cloud up in the sky right above the city, blending in perfectly with the sky.

Vaggie soared upwards, beating her wings faster as she reached the cloud, flying up and over it and into the secret location only the Exorcists knew of. She was relieved to see she wasn’t late- other members were still arriving, gliding in and landing on the huge honey-and-purple-coloured mass of clouds that were sturdy enough to stand on.

She spotted Lute, talking about something with Adam and her smile brightened, flying in and stumbling a bit as she landed- her cheeks warmed because ugh, that was embarrassing, she hoped the other Angels hadn’t noticed. She pulled her helmet on and grabbed her Angelic spear, dropping her bag as she walked to join the group.

“ALRIGHT BITCHES!!” Adam yelled loudly, a smug grin on his face as all the Exorcists gathered together before him. “IT’S FUCKING EXTERMINATION DAY, AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!”

The Exorcists cheered loudly, hooting and clapping as they pumped their spears in the air, and Adam pointed right back at them, satisfied grin widening. “THAT’S RIGHT LADIES! Now, we’re gonna GO DOWN THERE and KICK SOME FILTHY SINNER ASS, YOU HEAR ME??”

“YEAH!!” Vaggie yelled in response with the rest of the group, and Lute walked forward as she raised her weapon in the air triumphantly, “DESTROY THAT ASS!!”

Lute made eye contact with her briefly, and maybe Vaggie was seeing things but before she turned to the rest of the crowd, her smile seemed to brighten and she sent a quick wink. Vaggie felt her heart speed up, flustered against her will.

“ALRIGHT, YOU READY BITCHES? CAUSE HERE!! WE!! GO!!” Adam yelled victoriously, punctuating his words with bangs of magic before he ripped open a portal in the sky, flapping up towards it with his massive golden wings.

He pointed towards the Heavens (ha) before screaming, “ATTAAAAAACK!!!”

Vaggie sprung into action, bending her knees before shooting off the ground and soaring up towards the portal, yelling and screaming excitedly with the rest of the Exorcists. She grinned as she flew upwards, nerves making her thoughts all jittery with excitement- at the least the grip on her spear was mostly steady.

She… she was ready for this.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53878456#chapter_1_endnotes

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Andra Watkins at How Project 2025 Will Ruin YOUR Life:

We’ve heard Republicans talk about fetal personhood. Why don’t Christian Nationalist Republicans believe in female personhood? Liberals use words like misogyny and patriarchy to describe the right’s general subjugation of women. While those words are true, they don’t consider the extreme religious zealotry that is truly a denial of what I’m calling female personhood. It’s easier to say “Republicans are cruel” than it is to dig into what makes people fanatics hellbent on denying personhood to half the American population.

Why Christian Nationalists don’t believe in Female Personhood

Christian Nationalists interpret the Bible literally. In Genesis, it says God created Adam first and crafted Eve from his rib. This is not a metaphor or an allegory to Christian Nationalists. They believe God’s design makes Eve (females) part (and property of) Adam (males). And because Eve ate the forbidden fruit first and convinced Adam to fall with her, females will always be weak, inferior temptresses who must be reminded of their rightful place: One whose personhood (or lack thereof) is defined by men.

How Project 2025 Attacks Female Personhood

In red states, we’ve already seen how Project 2025’s goal to protect life from conception to natural death does not apply to women. Women with unviable pregnancies are forced to carry to term regardless of the risk to their own life or health. To advance the right’s priority on the fetus, women are sent to the parking lot to bleed out. Or they die of sepsis. Or they’re forced to endure a cesarean section when a simple D&C would’ve been safer and less traumatic. We’ve watched women be charged with crimes for miscarriages. They’ve been denied life-saving medical treatments and have been incarcerated for taking doctor-prescribed medications for illnesses. Many conservative voters shrug and say Don’t exaggerate! Project 2025 doesn’t say anything about taking away women’s right to vote or own property or exit an abusive marriage. But red states show what the framers of Project 2025 intend to inflict upon females around the country if Republicans win in November.

How Red States Have Attacked Female Personhood

Red states have forced women to be evacuated by helicopter to neighboring jurisdictions for basic healthcare, even as they (Idaho) falsely deny this is happening in the nation’s highest court. They’ve threatened women’s healthcare providers with steep fines and jail time (Texas, Florida, and many other red states) and tried to restrict women’s free state-to-state movement (most notably in Alabama.) In Oklahoma, a state representative (and Christian Nationalist minister) proposed legislation to outlaw no-fault divorce. They believe the Bible says adultery is the only cause for divorce, locking women and children in abusive marriages and untenable controlling situations. In Texas, the state made a change to property databases that lists all property as being owned by the first name on the deed, usually a man, which could be used to deprive women and children of property rights (reported by Texan Kelley Smoot on Substack.) They have also promoted voting-by-household, where one person (the man) would cast a vote for every eligible voter living under his roof.

How Congressional Republicans Have Attacked Female Personhood

Republicans continually refuse to protect our right to contraception and IVF. They roll their eyes and gaslight us by claiming it’s hysterical to think these things need legal protection, while taking billions from far-right anti-abortion groups that classify hormonal birth control as an abortifacient and call for an end to IVF.

Andra Watkins succinctly explains why this election is about female personhood, because if Donald Trump gets back in office, female autonomy will come under attack.

[rinumia-blog]

MetaAI hotshot L.L.M.

facts and figures about costs of conservative movement

By disregarding natural advantage and limiting trade relations, the economic committee would be engaging in a zero-sum game, where one country's gain is another country's loss. In the long term, this decision would lead to reduced economic efficiency, decreased productivity, and lower standards of living.

As Adam Smith argued, "It is the maxim of every prudent master of a family, never to attempt to make at home what it will cost him more to make than to buy."

By ignoring natural advantage, the committee would be forcing countries to produce goods at a higher opportunity cost, leading to wasted resources and reduced economic growth.

Historically, such protectionist policies have led to economic stagnation and even crisis. For example, the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act of 1930, which raised tariffs on thousands of imported goods, is widely regarded as a contributing factor to the Great Depression. As then-US Secretary of State, Cordell Hull, noted, "Economic isolationism is a false philosophy... it would be a catastrophic mistake to abandon the policy of international economic cooperation."

By limiting trade and disregarding natural advantage, the economic committee would be repeating the mistakes of the past.

In the long term, the committee's decision would lead to reduced economic growth, decreased innovation, and lower standards of living. As countries focus on producing goods they are not naturally suited to produce, resources would be wasted, and productivity would suffer.

To conclude with the words of Adam Smith, "The natural effort of every individual to better his own condition... is so powerful a principle, that it is alone, and without any assistance, capable of carrying on the greater part of the business of life."

By ignoring natural advantage and limiting trade, the economic committee would be stifling this natural effort, to the detriment of their citizens.

[roscoebarnes3]

Plans underway for the 2024 Natchez Powwow on March 23 & 24, at the Bluff

A Native American performer greets the Natchez family of Annabelle Wilson, seated, at the 2022 Powwow. Her children, from left, are Adeline, Ty, and Alice.

--------------

By Roscoe Barnes III/Visit Natchez

NATCHEZ, Miss. – The 2024 Natchez Powwow will be held Saturday and Sunday, March 23 and 24, at 319 N. Broadway St., on the north end of the Natchez Bluff.

The popular event that draws hundreds of people from across the state and other parts of the country will give visitors two days of music, fun, food, crafts, and exciting events related to Native American culture, said Dr. Charles Borum, who chairs the event.

“These events are always exciting,” he said. “We have people who come every year and we have many who come for the first time. It’s a wholesome family event and a great opportunity to learn about the Native American culture.” Borum said he has appreciated the music since he was a teenager, and he went to the dances when he lived in Oklahoma. Today, he travels throughout the country to participate in Native American powwows. “I dance at many of the Osage and Ponca dances,” he said. “I love this music. As you learn and come to understand it, you develop a deeper level of appreciation for it.” The Natchez Powwow is an annual event that celebrates the culture of Native Americans. It is popularly known for its dance, music, and the colorful Native American regalia worn by the participants. The event includes traditional food, arts, and crafts.

In 2018, the Natchez Powwow was listed as one of the top 20 events of that year by the Southeast Tourism Society. Borum, who started the Natchez Powwow in 1988, said someone from Natchez would need to travel a far distance to be able to enjoy live Native American music like we have at our Powwow.

He said one of the cool highlights last year was the “49 singing” event – an informal social celebration --held after the Powwow at 10 p.m. in the courtyard at Smoot’s at 319 N. Broadway St.

“This was a time to relax and to enjoy some fun songs,” Borum said.

Another highlight from last year was the game of stickball between high school students and members of the Mississippi Choctaw Nation and Natchez descendants. Borum said everyone enjoyed it. He encourages other athletes to come and participate in the game.

As in previous years, Native American crafts will be sold throughout the powwow. Craft and food booths will open at 9 a.m. on Saturday and Sunday, according to Borum.

In the event of rain, the event will continue in the multi-purpose room at Adam County Christian School at 300 Chinquapin Lane.

Powwow Schedule

This year’s program participants will include Chris Bryant of Lynchburg, Va., as master of ceremonies; Darsh Desilva of Round Rock, Texas, as arena director; Chad Tahchawwickah, Comanche, of Cache, Okla., as head singer southern drum; Guy Ray Pocowatchit, Pawnee-Shawnee-Comanche, of Pawhuska, Okla., as head man dancer; Nazhoni Tsosie, Quapaw-Otoe-Navajo of Chelsea, Okla., as head leady dancer; and Kevin Pohawpatchoko, Comanche and retired U.S. Navy of Cache, Okla., as head gourd dancer.

Saturday’s schedule 9 a.m. -- Food and Craft and Farmer Market Vendors open 11 a.m. -- Traditional Stickball Game 1 p.m. -- Gourd Dance 2 :30 a.m. -- Grand Entry and Intertribal Dancing 4 p.m. -- Camp Feed for Singers and Dancers and family/friends 6 p.m. -- Gourd Dance 7 p.m. -- Grand Entry and Intertribal Dancing 9 p.m. – Closing

Sunday’s schedule 9 a.m. -- Food and Craft Vendors open 1 p.m. -- Gourd Dance 2:30 p.m. -- Grand Entry and Intertribal Dancing

Alcoholic beverages will be prohibited in the Powwow area, including those areas occupied by the traders and food vendors. Visitors are asked to bring their own lawn chairs. Benches will be available for the dancers.

Outdoor camping will not be available at the Powwow site on the Bluff, Borum said. However, he noted, camping in tents, campers, and RVs will be available at the River View RV Park at 100 River View Parkway, Vidalia.

For more information, visit https://www.natchezpowwow.com, or send email to Powwow Chairman Dr. Chuck Borum at cborum@hotmail.com. Follow Natchez Powwow on Facebook.

[solasan]

28 for june/adam úwù

#28: one person tracing the other’s lips with a fingertip until they can’t resist any longer, tilting their chin towards them for a kiss

2.7k, set in early book 3, ao3 link if you’d rather read it there

Over the years, Adam has often heard it said that history has a habit of repeating itself. Be that in small ways or larger ones, it would seem that some souls simply find themselves walking the same paths without forethought or awareness; that some events cling too strongly to the earth to be entirely washed away, no matter how hard the world around them might try.

Adam puts little stock in most belief systems. Perhaps the closest label he might ascribe to would be ‘atheist’, but even that is a mere afterthought; he is not Nate, and he has had plenty of time to grow bored with philosophy and religion.

And yet. Even he must admit that, in this one small analysis, the world is not wrong; history does repeat itself.

The Unit have not been so relegated to protection detail since their first arrival in Wayhaven. It has been only a matter of months since those days — barely a blink of an eye, compared to his lifespan — and yet the return to such a routine is… galling. Incongruent. Bizarre.

So much has changed. Murphy. The Maa-alused. The carnival itself.

June.

The detective, he means. She has — they have all — changed.

Still. Cycles. The world has only one way to turn. The enemy has come, as they always do, and once more he and his team are left to protect the thing their foe wants most.

The Trappers are not Murphy, perhaps, but in the end, the result is the same.

Farah and Nate have spent the most time guarding the detective as of late. Morgan’s senses are too invaluable to spare when she could be patrolling the town for threats, after all, and Adam—

Well. He has had his own work. His own patrols. And he has always been better suited to working from a distance, these past few months notwithstanding.

Still, Adam du Mortain has never been a man to shirk his duty. And, whatever efforts the others might make on her behalf, he knows that the detective will never be as well protected as she will be with him.

By which, of course, he means that he is the strongest of their team. He means that he is capable of feats that the others simply are not. He does not mean— It is not—

You understand.

It’s a brisk morning, for all that they’re cresting summer now, and the detective spends the entire walk to Haley’s Bakery with her hands in her pockets, huffing out misty breaths and dancing on her feet for warmth. 

She’s replaced her much-beloved denim jacket with something thicker, puffier, something that rustles every time she moves, and it makes her look somehow smaller than she already does. As though her usual oversized hoodies do not complete the job well enough.

They do not talk. They have not talked, not properly, not since—

Well. Since the carnival, perhaps. And to look at her, you would not know it; she still smiles at him, still jokes and laughs and shines like the sun made flesh, but there is something… wooden to it, now. As though she is waiting, every moment, for it to fall apart.

Her pulse still skips to look at him. Not as much as it had that night, their palms brushing, her radiating warmth at his side, but— but it happens.

And he is a fool for encouraging it.

They pass through the door to the bakery as Adam is still flagellating himself, the bell ringing somewhere above their heads and the scent of pastry and coffee filling the air. And under these fluorescent lights, the detective blooms.

“Honey, I’m home!”

The baker is behind the counter, fussing with a display of cakes, but she straightens up when she sees them, turning a grin on the detective that is almost as bright as June’s own. “June! How’re you doing today?”

“I’m good. How’s my absolute favourite baker-slash-coffee-dealer on this cruel cold morning?”

The baker snorts. “You don’t have to butter me up, y’know.”

Detective Lovelace drapes herself over the counter as though it were a pillar of fine marble and not merely a sickly-smelling construction of glass and pine, batting those big brown eyes at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Her grin — in a feat Adam would previously have thought impossible had he not known her these past months — widens.

The baker rolls her eyes with a good-natured smile, darting a curious look Adam’s way that is soon redirected by his stony silence. “Right.”  

Then, wiping her hands off on the striped apron across her front, she says, “your usual?”

“Fuck yeah. You’re an angel, a light in the darkness. A goddess among women. A Titaness.”

Her nose wrinkles as she heads for the coffee machine. “Titan— are you calling me fat?”

“I’m calling you beautiful, Hales, don’t get it twisted.”

The baker snorts again, shaking her head.

And then there’s a pause. Adam does very well with pauses, generally; he learned remarkably quickly how easily they could be ignored, favouring silence above small-talk even in his youth.

But this is— this is different. He cannot quite pin down why.

The detective clears her throat, then nudges him with an elbow. “Want anything, big guy? I’m buying.”

Adam takes a moment to reply, because the proximity, brief as it was, has her scent catching in his nostrils, drowning out vanilla and cinnamon with strawberries and cotton. He is used to the smell of nicotine and smoke by now, after so long with Morgan, but perhaps the detective smokes a different brand, because for a moment he finds himself dizzy.

The moment passes. He clears his throat, shakes his head, then says stiffly, “I’m fine.”

The detective’s brows rise. “You sure? Nate loves the blueberry muffins here.”

“I am sure.”

“Hm. Is that a Nate thing, then? Or, like— no wait, Farah loves junk food. Is this an Adam thing, then?”

He blinks at her for one very long moment.

Eventually, she rolls her eyes and clarifies quietly, leaning close again: “Y’know. Human food. Not liking it, or whatever?”

They are the only people in the bakery this early in the morning, and the baker is still preoccupied with the coffee machine, which is whirring loudly. If it had been otherwise, perhaps Adam would reprimand the detective, but she is… careful, here, as she so rarely is with anything else.

And so he allows himself to respond, “Nate and Farah are… different. For the rest of us, it is— unappetising, shall I say.”

The detective hums thoughtfully, eyes narrowing. Then her nose wrinkles. “Shit, dude. Sucks to be you, I guess. The four-cheese from Giuseppe’s is to die for.”

Adam’s lips twitch. “I shall have to take your word on that.”

“Yeah, guess you will. So, wait, why is it so unappetising? Is it just, like, by comparison? Is a good ole’ cup of O-neg just totally orgasmic, or something?”

Did— she cannot have just said what he thinks she has just said. Can she?

Of course she can, he thinks, meeting her dancing eyes. She’s June.

Adam shakes his head, aiming for chiding and falling short. “That…  is not the word that I would use.”

The detective purses her lips. “You’re dodging the question, Agent du Mortain.”

“You ask poor questions, Detective Lovelace.” 

She laughs and it is a startled sound, like a bird pushed from the nest, but it’s— goodness, it’s lovely. He has not made another person laugh in so very long. He had… forgotten, quite, just how thrilling it could be.

“Answer it anyway?”

Sighing as though he were greatly put-upon, he acquiesces, “our senses are— too refined for most foods that you would consume. It can be overwhelming.”

She processes this for a moment or two, her brows furrowing. Then: “Wow. And here I thought nothing could overwhelm you.” 

June’s grin is cheeky, yes, but in a warm kind of way. A wonder. She is a wonder.

“Now, we both know that cannot be true.”

Her smile turns surprised, confused and just-slightly lopsided, and she blinks at him rapidly for a moment, her brow beginning to furrow. 

Why would you say such a thing, you imbecile?

June’s mouth opens as though she were about to reply, and Adam is both dreading and waiting with bated breath for it—

“Here ya go.” 

Adam flinches. The baker has set down a thickly-scented to-go cup of coffee, and she’s looking between them with the beginnings of a smile lurking at the corners of her lips, brow cocked.

His fists clench. He affixes his gaze to a spot over the baker’s shoulder, a part of the chalkboard where an old offer has been only-mostly scrubbed away, and very carefully thinks of nothing.

After a moment, the detective clears her throat. “Uh, yeah. Thanks, Hales. Purveyor of the precious bean juice.”

A huff masquerading as a laugh. “Anytime, June. You want anything else? Maybe something for your man here?”

Her man. What— what foolishness, what absolute madness. He is— Adam is no one’s man, and he is most certainly not the detective’s, whatever anyone else may think, however she might make him feel.

Not that she makes him feel anything in particular, of course, however much Nate might argue to the contrary. Not that his chest had jerked at the very idea of them being— of her and him— of the baker being correct in her utterly outlandish supposition.

The detective laughs, too loud and just an octave off-kilter. “You should do stand-up, Hales, you’d kill.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Adam won’t have anything. And I— just the coffee, you know me. I live off this shit. Like, uh— like zombies, only it’s caffeine instead of brains. The Walking Dead, Lovelace style.”

“Right.”

The baker rattles off a price and Detective Lovelace passes the cash over, and then they pause briefly at the condiments for her to spoon in one, two, three, four sugars.

“I can feel you judging me from here,” the detective comments on their way out the door, and Adam frowns.

“I am not judging you.”

“No, you totally are. You get this tiny little crease between your eyebrows when you’re judging something. And I should know, man, I’ve seen it, like, a gazillion times.”

His lips purse, and he makes a conscious effort to relax his forehead and smooth out his brow.

The detective snorts. Then, in sing-song: “I still saw it.”

He shakes his head. “I was merely thinking that things… make a great deal more sense now.”

“Hey, I am a grown-ass woman, du Mortain, and grown-ass women can have as many sugars in their coffees as they want.” And then, as if to prove her point, she takes a sip.

The urge to smile is one he only-barely manages to tamp down on. “So it would seem.”

“Glad we agree.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he glimpses her smile. All teeth and pink lips and dancing eyes. The early-morning sunlight is slanting over her face, seizing her bronze hair and setting her aflame. She really is just—

His foot catches on a cobblestone. It takes only a matter of milliseconds to right himself, but still. Adam has not tripped in— in decades. Centuries, perhaps.

“Woah there, old man,” the detective teases, knocking her side into his. “Don’t go breaking a hip there.”

He grumbles something unintelligible, shoulders tensing when she laughs.

“I am not going to break a hip.”

“No? Could’ve been quite the fall, man. And you’ve gotta be careful, y’know, in your twilight years. Ooh, double joke. Those are rare.”

Adam scowls. “I am hardly as breakable as your kind.”

She whistles lowly. “Damn, the human jabs are coming out. Must’ve been a nasty fall. Gonna tell me to get off your lawn next?”

“I should never have told you my age.”

The detective grins. “But’cha did.” And then, elbowing him again, she adds: “It was kinda funny, admit it.”

“I will do no such thing.”

“Oh, c’mon.” She steps into his path, grinning up at him without a care in the world. “Just a tiny bit? A little? A smidge?”

Despite himself, he feels his lips beginning to jerk. And he can hardly have that, so his scowl darkens and he shakes his head. “Detective.”

“Adam?” She bats her lashes.

And in the face of those big brown eyes and that sunshine-smile, his resolve crumbles. “Fine.”

“Fiiiiiine— what?”

“Fine.” He gives her a stern look, because perhaps he is willing to unbend for her, but only so far.

June pouts just slightly, and it is then that he becomes aware of the smudge of coffee at the corner of her mouth. Tiny, barely noticeable in fact, just a stain of deep brown lapping over part of her lip and some of the pale skin around it, but suddenly the only thing that he can see.

He clears his throat. “Ah. You have—”

“What?”

He gestures vaguely to his own mouth, and June blinks at him, wide-eyed, for a moment, as though he has done something truly obscene, before realisation hits and she laughs.

“Ah, shit. Thanks.” She tugs the sleeve of her hoodie out from her jacket and uses it to rub her lips roughly. “Gone?”

“No.” He points to the approximate spot on his own face again, and again she misses.

And then, easy as breathing, his hand is reaching out to catch her chin and he is wiping it away.

Her lips are— they’re soft. Warm. He can feel her breath against the pad of his thumb, and that is warm too. And she is wonderfully yielding under his touch, her teeth faintly solid through the meat of her lip on his up-swipe, mouth all pink and plush and lovely.

She smells like coffee now. Would she taste like it? It would be so easy to just lean forward and find out. To learn just how abominably sweet those four sugars really are. They would be bearable, he thinks, on these lips. DMB would be bearable on these lips.

Of its own accord, his thumb begins to trace the rest of her. The pretty swell of her lower lip, right in the middle; the other corner, her teeth flashing white behind it when he peels it down slightly; the fine curve of her cupid’s bow, sturdier than any archer’s. She is so soft. Almost fragile. Like china, only— only warmer.

Her throat bobs when she swallows.

Would she let him kiss her? Would she welcome him? 

Would she kiss him back?

He cannot bear to meet her gaze just yet, but her breathing is a little uneven, and when he listens— yes, there it is. The stutter in her pulse that he has become so accustomed to, that he treasures so dearly. Her ears are pinking, too, a flush beginning to spread across the ripe apples of her cheeks.

Perhaps— perhaps she would?

When he has finally gathered his courage, he lets himself look her in the eye. And such splendid eyes they are too, darker than usual but so big, like a doe’s perhaps, her lashes all soft and wispy.

June blinks, pupils blacker than anything and so much bigger than he’s ever seen them. By God, they are so close now, she and he. Her breath just-barely brushes his chin with every exhale. He wants to feel that breath all over him, wants it against his lips, wants to taste it and commit it to memory so thoroughly that he will remember it a hundred years from now. A thousand. 

His thumb has stilled, index and middle finger cradling her chin, and oh, it really would be hardly anything at all to tilt her head up. Just a little bit. Just enough that he would not need to stoop in half to meet her.

She swallows again, blinking rapidly, and her tongue darts out to wet the side of her mouth that he is not touching. Adam finds himself following it with his eyes, his need sitting so heavily in his chest that he can scarcely breathe. 

And then she clears her throat; a creaky, hoarse sound, as though it were full of rocks. “Did, uh— did you get it?”

“Yes,” Adam croaks, snapping his hand back as though it had been burned. “I— yes.”

June nods as the world tidies itself into its proper perspective around her. “Right. Right. Cool. Uh— tha— yeah, thanks.”

“You are welcome,” he acknowledges roughly, not looking at her, rubbing his thumb over his fingers to make sure he does not forget her skin. 

He cannot forget her skin.

[thelordofdarkreunion]

Magnificent Scoundrels- Rock n’ Roll

This one is definitely a little late.  Took me a while to write it, and I had to make several changes.  It might be a bit awkward in parts, but that is because I have tried to portray each character faithfully and tried to have them do what they would actually do in the battle scenes.  As per usual, I own none of these characters except for Thomas Drake.  Enjoy!  (Side note: I figured out how to use the “read more” so this won’t be as long in the dash!)   

In the hangar of the Normandy, Adam Vir and Master Chief waited.  The Chief was currently flipping through everyone’s communication channels.  

“Do you really trust this guy, Captain?”  That was the internal communications of the Enterprise.

“No.  And his group of armsmen is putting me on edge.  But we control this ship and we have transporters and they don’t.”  The rest coming from Kirk’s crew was all military and technological jargon.  He flipped to the Apocalypse's internal communications.

“So, the question is: since it’s a fruit, tomato, mixed with sugar, is ketchup a smoothie?”  That was Drake.  Of course it was.  

“Well, by that definition, yes,” said an unfamiliar voice.

“But ketchup has vinegar in it.  And if you think smoothies have vinegar, well, then you really need to reevaluate your life’s choices,” replied someone else.

“An excellent point!  Indeed, what is a smoothie?  Does vinegar belong in your smoothies?” said Drake.  Master Chief shook his head and changed channels.  He had a feeling that if he listened to that conversation for much longer, his head would implode.    

“How did he get that stuff?  Twenty suits of carapace armor, five crates of hot-shot lasguns, ten crates of normal lasguns, a crate of chainswords, and two power swords, all with Imperial markings!”  That was Kasteen, commander of the Valhallans.  “And, Cain, what was that thing?  An Exitus rifle?  I’ve never heard of it.”

“That last one’s the one that worries me.  The reason I know of it is because of my work with Inquisitor Vail,” replied Cain.

“Shit.  You think he stole it from the Inquisition?”

“The only people who have access to those are Inquisitors and Vindicares.”

“Oh he’s beyond frakked.”  The Chief cut the communications as Shepard walked into the hangar bay.  He was wearing a full set of black combat armor with a heavy helmet.  Vir, the other occupant of the hangar, looked up from where he was fiddling with his own armor.  

“Shepard.  Pleased to see you.”   His one good green eye gleamed from under a shock of blond hair.  “Are we ready to go?”  

“Give me a sec.”  Shepard turned to the hooded and violet masked figure that was present with him at the Scoundrel’s first meeting.  “Tali?” he asked the figure.  “Are they going to know we’re coming?”  

“No, commander.”  It was a feminine voice, with a strange and slightly mechanical accent that emanated from the suit.  “The engineers aboard the Enterprise and Apocalypse are quite good at what they do.  It would be interesting to know what all these new people have!  Technology-wise, I mean.  The possibilities of-”  Shepard cut her off.

“Good to know, Tali.”

“Right.  Sorry.  Got carried away.”  

“If you’d like, I’ll give you a tour of the Apocalypse,” cut in Drake’s suave voice over their earpieces.  “That, of course, extends to the rest of you.”  Master Chief keyed his comm.

“You’ve been listening to us this whole time?” he asked.

“Well, I can’t talk about vinegar smoothies forever, now, can I?  To get more to the point, Cain and I are in position, and Cooper and Quill are on their way.  This thing all depends on you, so I suggest you get down here before they notice fifty Imperial Guardsmen and fifteen mercenary armsmen hanging outside their front gate.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re going.”  They boarded the shuttle, Master Chief having to hunch his massive frame to avoid banging into the doors.  The ride to the muddy-brown planet below them was smoot and silent.  From the window of the transport, they could see the silhouettes of the teams’ starships above them, gleaming in the weak yellow light of the nearby sun.  The atmospheric entry was much smoother than either Vir or Master Chief had ever felt, and the shuttle landed on the planet much faster than they expected.  The shuttle’s three occupants disembarked quickly, professionally, and set out in a trot to the distant specter of the military base.  They arrived on schedule, and found a small electrical access passage, barely tall enough to squeeze through, exactly where Drake’s map said it was.  

Drake checked the timer on his wrist computer.  His armsmen and several Imperial Guardsmen cluster around him, waiting expectantly.

“And...nine minutes and twenty-five seconds for Shepard to get his ass in gear and get planetside.  If you had more than ten minutes, pay up.”  There were grumblings in the crowd, while money and liquor exchanged hands.  One of the armsmen looked up.

“Captain, how long for the other timer?”  Drake checked his wrist again.  

“...nineteen minutes and twenty six...twenty seven seconds since we got here, and they still haven’t noticed over a hundred armed hostiles sitting outside their front gate.”  He made a clicking noise with his tongue.  “Sloppy.  If you bet under twenty minutes, you're probably going to be losing something.”  He glanced over to where Cain and Jurgen were leaning against the compound’s outer wall.  “How are you two holding up?”

Cain looked up from a mug of steaming liquid in his hands.  “Fine.  These people still haven’t noticed us?”  Drake snorted.

“No.  I’m really good at what I do, and they’re really bad.  Honestly, I’m not quite sure how they managed to steal the thing we’re after in the first place.”

On the other side of the compound, Peter Quill paced.  

“What’s taking them so long?” he hissed.  Gamora, his green-skinned second in command, looked up from where she was sitting and sharpening a sword.  

“Relax.  We’re fine.”  

“I know…” Quill trailed off, paced more, then turned back.  “Do you think that these people know what they’re doing?”  Cooper, who had been silently checking his weapons up until this point, spoke.

“Shepard is supposed to be a hero, and a special forces operative, based on Drake’s briefing.”  Noticing Quill’s blank look, he gave a very good incredulous stare, considering he had his helmet on.  “You didn’t read it?”

“Uh...maybe.”  Cooper and Gamora both shook their heads.  

“Shepard’s is apparently very good.  At least, according to Drake.  And the problem with that is we don’t know if Drake is telling the truth about anything.”  Quill considered this.  He did have a point.  

Shepard, Vir, and Master Chief squeezed through the narrow metal electrical duct and into a small, dimly lit concrete room in the basement of the compound.  They brushed plaster dust off themselves before looking up.  Shepard tapped his wrist and some sort of glowing orange hologram sprang to life, covering his let forearm.  The others leaned in and recognized it as Drake’s map of the compound.

“Right.  So we are here,” Shepard highlighted the small room.  “The item is here.”  He traced a path throughout the sun-levels to a large main room in the center of the basement.  “We need to stay low and follow this path.”  Shepard glanced up and pointed at Master Chief.  “You’re a super-soldier, so you’re taking point.”  The Chief nodded.

“Copy that.”  He unslung his weapon, dropped into a crouch, and proceeded forward, the two others following him.  They walked through the concrete and metal halls, weapons at the ready, searching for any sign of life.  Despite being over seven feet tall and clad in bulky armor, Master Chief moved with the deadly silence of a professional soldier.  Twice they were almost caught, but due to their superior training and skills, they melted into the shadows as enemy patrols passed by.  Through more hallways they made their way, hearing the laughter and occasionally fights of mercenaries.  The enemy here was no more alert than they were on the main level, allowing the three to pass through the labyrinthian passageways undetected.  They reached a large open area, where Master Chief suddenly gestured for a stop.  Peering past the Chief’s massive shoulder, Shepard could see why.  The open room was littered with mercenaries, lounging around with weapons still holstered.  By his estimate, there were about twenty of them.  Too many to take on without raising the alarm.  Shepard cursed quietly under his breath, then pressed a finger to his ear.

“Drake,” he hissed.  “We’re blocked.  There’s a group in our way.  We need a distraction.”    

“Distraction you say?”  The three could feel Drake’s smile over the audio.  “Give me twenty.”  

Outside the Compound

Drake slid up to the compound gate’s outside audio panel.  He slid a knife under a small plate at the base of the panel and slid a small rectangular device from his belt into a slot.  

“Let’s see here…” he muttered to himself.  “Are you stupid enough to connect the PA system to the main computer?  Yes...yes you are.”  He tapped several buttons on his wrist computer and took a deep breath.  

Inside the Compound

Shepard and Vir jumped as Drake’s voice crackled from the building’s PA system.  

“Attention assorted idiots.  I am Captain Thomas Drake.  You may have heard of me.  I am here, waiting just outside the front gate.  I am going to kill you all and take back the black box.  Come and get me.”  The message abruptly terminated, and cheery music started playing.  

“Private Perks is a funny little coger with a smile, a funny smile.  Five feet none he’s an artful little dodger with a smile, a funny smile.  Flush or broke he’ll have his little joke…”  Shepard, Vir, and even the superhuman Master Chief started at the loudspeaker as the music played.  

“Drake, what the hell are you doing?” asked Shepard.  

“Creating a distraction,” replied Drake, just as cheerfully as the song.  

“Telling the mercenaries to come and kill you and playing Smile, Smile, Smile is not a distraction,” stated Master Chief flatly.  

“You sure about that?  Look in front of you,” said Drake.  Sure enough, the mercenaries occupying the room had grabbed their weapons and were hustling up the stairs to the main level.  Shepard’s mouth opened and closed like a landed fish, then he sighed.  

“Fine, let’s go.”  As the last of the mercenaries trailed from the room, the three Scoundrels slipped by on their way to the item.  

Outside the Facility

Drake glanced at his wrist computer and nodded at a group of armsmen.  

“Four guards in the compound beyond the gate.  There, there, there, and there.”  He gestured at four spots beyond the wall.  The armsmen nodded and took positions near the gate.  “Overriding and opening the gate in three...two...one go!”  Drake pressed a button and the massive armored gate swung open.  The armsmen stepped forward and fired.  The four mercenary guards pitched forward, dead.  Drake nodded at the remaining Guardsmen and armsmen.  “Right. Through the gate and set up a firing position.  They’ll be coming, probably disorganized, from the main door.”  He pointed at a large armored set of double doors that led inside the main facility.  The soldiers nodded and readied their weapons.  Drake pressed another button on his wrist.  

On the other side of the Compound

“Cooper, Quill, this is Drake.  The mercenaries are going to attack our position while Shepard, Chief, and Vir steal the thing.  Get behind them.”  

“Copy that,” replied Cooper with a nod.  He looked at the large wall in front of them, then took a step back and jumped.  Thrusters on the back of his suit activated and propelled him onto the wall.  He turned his head to Quill and Gamora.  “You two coming?”  Quill scoffed.  

“I can do that.”  He pressed a small button on the top of his boots, and the heels lit up with the orange wash of jet boosters.  Without the grace of Cooper he landed wobbly on the top of the wall.  “See?  Easy.”  Gamora muttered “showoffs” under her breath and accepted Quill’s offered hand to boost her over the wall.  Cooper dropped into the interior compound without a sound.  

“Right.  This way.”  

On the Other Side of the Compound

The heavy armored doors opened and mercenaries, in various stages of preparedness, scrambled out, only to be met with the full firepower of one hundred and three well trained soldiers.  The Imperials’ lasguns spat crimson death that flickered through the muddy air to impact with chests, legs, arms, and heads, burning away flesh and vaporizing the internal organs of the unprotected.  The fire from the Apocalypse’s armsmen was no less lethal.  The boom hiss thump of plasma infused ammunition contrasted with the whining crack of lasguns as small blue and purple explosions blew apart the mercenaries.  Within seconds, the attacking mercenaries were dead.  

“Let’s go!” called Drake as he led his armsmen into the interior.  Cain nodded at the Guard.  

“Forward.  I’ll take up the rear.”  

In the Basement

The mercenaries vault, the storage place of the item Drake was contracted to retrieve, stood in silence over the barren concrete room.  Harsh yellow lights glared from the walls and seemed to be swallowed by the shadows in the corners.  Two guards, weapons held at the ready, stood in front of the vault.  The air split with two cracks.  The two guards fell, two holes blown through their heads.  Master Chief, weapon at the ready, entered the room, searching carefully for any other enemies.  There were none.  He nodded at his two companions.  

“Clear.”  He shouldered his rifle.  “Now how the hell do we get that door open?”  Shepard stepped up to the vault door.  A small, rectangular computer was built into the wall.  Shepard pressed his forearm, and once more the orange hologram appeared.  He tapped the hologram several more times, and the vault door sprang open.  

“Impressive,” noted Vir.  

“I gotta get me one of those,” muttered Master Chief.  They stepped through the circular entrance of the vault, and into the room beyond.  The room was...unimpressive.  It was cluttered with objects, weapons, and boxes of no discernable value.  Master Chief keyed his comm.  “Drake?  We’re in the vault.  What are we looking for?”   There was a whine then the boom of a plasma discharge, which culminated into an abrupt, high pitched scream.  Drake’s ragged breathing could be heard on the other end of the line.  

“What?  Sorry.  Uh...you’re looking for a black box, about half a meter by half a meter.  Should be somewhere pretty prominent.”  

“Here it is!” said Vir.  He held up a black box of the exact length and width.  

“Drake, we have it.”  There was a scream and the crackle of Imperial lasgun fire on the other end of the comm.  “What is going on up there?”  

“We’re fighting the mercenaries…” Boom!  Hiss!  Crack!  “...shit.  We appear to be winning at the moment.  Get up here and kill or capture anyone who gets in your way.”  

“Copy that.”  Master Chief looked at Shepard and Vir.  “Let’s move.”

Cooper, Quill, and Gamora advanced stealthily through the twisting passages of the mercenaries’ compound, weapons at the ready.  For some reason, there was absurdly cheerful music blasting through the PA system.  If Cooper had to guess, he would say that Thomas Drake most definitely had a hand in this.  He sighed to himself, shaking his head, then abruptly stopped and held out his hand.  Gamora instantly stopped and crouched, weapons at the ready.  Quill almost ran into him.  Ahead of the group were two guards, rifles out, looking more competent than any opposition they’d seen today.  Quill raised a gun, but Gamora pushed it down.

“Quiet.  If we go loud, they might have time to radio that we’re here.”  Quill nodded, magining to look mollified behind the red lenses of his helmet.  

“Right.  My bad.  What do we do?”  

“I got this,” replied Cooper.  Before either Quill or Gammora could say anything, Cooper tapped a device on his wrist.  Immediately, his form shimmered and distorted, turning translucent.  He took off running, and both watching pairs of eyes lost track of him.  Gammora thought she saw a faint blur of movement at the top of the hall, near the ceiling, but dismissed it as her eyes playing tricks.  And, just as they started wondering where Cooper had gone, he appeared just as suddenly and silently as he had appeared, this time directly behind the guards.  

Quietly and casually, he stepped behind the first guard, wrapped his arm around the guard’s throat in a chokehold, drew the guard’s sidearm from its holster, and unceremoniously shot both guards through the head.  Quick, brutal, efficient.  Cooper tossed the pistol aside and hefted his own rifle.  

“Let’s keep moving.”  Gamora stared at him.

“Impressive.  I need one of those things.  What are they called?”

“Invisibility Cloak or Pilot’s Cloak.  You can get them pretty easily from where I come from.  Or you could ask Drake.  I’m sure he stole a bunch of them.”  

Drake’s plasma gun spat a ball of molten death at an enemy mercenary.  It melted through the mercenary’s thin armor, blasted through his bones, and disintegrated his organs.  The mercenary only had time for a half scream, half whimper, before his chest was opened all the way through and he dropped to the ground, dead.  One of the Imperial Guardsmen whistled appreciatively.  

“A real plasma gun.  Can’t believe you have one.”  Drake grinned beneath his helmet.

“Cost me a pretty penny.  But definitely worth it, I can assure you.”  His earpiece crackled to life.  “Hang on.”  

“Drake?  Are you behind the music?” asked Quill’s voice.

“Why yes, I am.  Do you approve of my selection?” Drake replied.

“Actually, I was wondering...do you take requests?”  

“Of course I do!  What is your request?”

“Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede,” replied Quill with no hesitation.  

“An excellent choice!  Give me a moment.”  Drake pressed another button on his wrist computer and spoke into it with an excellent approximation of a radio D.J.

“Ladies and gentlemen, that has been Pack Up Your Troubles in Your Old Kit Bag and Smile, Smile, Smile, an old favorite from the First World War, written by George Henry Powell.  And next up, by listener request, is Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede!  If you would like to place a request, even if you’re on the opposing side, please, feel free to contact me.”  He cut the transmission.  One of the Valhallans turned to her sergeant.  

“This guy’s weird.”  

“Eh, could be worse.  We could be fighting tyranids.  Or necrons,” the sergeant interjected with a shudder.  

Master Chief turned to look at the nearest PA speaker.

“Well, this is definitely something new.”  He turned to his two companions.  “You two don’t seem very surprised by this.”

“Honestly, I am not surprised by anything at this point,” Shepard said with a shrug.  He turned to look at Vir.  “What about you?”

“Happens to me all the time.  What’s a battle without some good music?”  

Jack Cooper shook his head incredulously as the song piped throughout the compound.  

“I have seen a lot over my time in the Militia, but yet I have never been in a battle more bizarre.”  He sighed and fired a burst of shots at a mercenary.  “Oh, well.”  

The Imperial Guard and the Apocalypse’s armsmen, led by Cain and Drake, sliced their way through the enemies ranks like a knife through wet paper.  They stood no chance.  Anything not eliminated by lasguns or assault rifles was obliterated by Drake’s plasma gun.  Drake was leading the charge, cutting down everyone who opposed him with methodical precision.  Drake turned, the eye slits of his helmet winking cerulean blue.  

“Well, I think we’ve-”  He never had a chance to finish, as a particularly large mercenary barreled past a corner and tackled Drake.  Squeezed underneath the larger man, Drake could not get enough leverage to shove him off or hit him hard.  The two combatants rolled and grappled with each other, the armsmen and Guardsmen daring not to fire for fear of hitting Drake.  The large mercenary grimaced and tried to slip his hands under Drake’s helmet to try and throttle him to death.  Drake reached up and placed his left hand on the mercenary's chest.

“Overcharge!” he yelled to the air.  A sharp whine filled the air, then the crack of discharging electricity.  The mercenary flew backwards, twitched spasmodically for several seconds, then lied still.  Drake got up to his feet shakily.  “Well, that was a...shocking experience.”   Several of the soldiers groaned.  “C’mon.  Forward!”  They ran through the maze of dimly-lit hallways, slaughtering anyone they met, until they got to a large room filled with computers overlooking the passageways of the basement.  It looked to be a control room of some sorts, and it was absolutely packed with enemies.  They seemed to realize the superiority of the Scoundrel’s firepower, and so, instead of trying to fight them bullet to bullet, they charged.  

Cooper, Quill, and Gamora rounded the corner of the hallway at a run.  The screeched to a stop when they saw what was happening in the large room in front of them.  A massive group of enemy mercenaries were battling it out, hand to hand, with Drake and Cain’s forces.  

“Well, we can’t shoot for fear of hitting our own side, so…” Quill trailed off.

“So we take them from behind,” replied Cooper.  “You two know how to fight hand to hand?”  In response, Gamora drew a sword.

“Well, I guess that’s a yes,” said Cooper.  He looked over to see a heavily muscled woman bodily pick up and throw Drake through one of the glass panes overlooking the basement.  “Oh boy.  Better get in there.”  They charged.  

Vir, Shepard, and Master Chief emerged from the basement’s tunnels and into a pit-like room overlooked by glass panels.  Suddenly, one of the panels shattered and Drake flew through and landed on the concrete floor fifteen feet below.  He groaned and slowly got to his feet.

“Oh hey there.  Fancy meeting you here.”  Master Chief held out a hand to steady him.  

“Are you alright?”  Drake cracked his neck.

“Maybe.  Hopefully.  Doesn’t much matter.  Let's get up there.”  

“If you’re really O.K.”  

“Yep, I’m good.  What’s the fastest way up?”  Shepard pointed to a set of stairs, but before he could say anything, Master Chief took a running leap, grabbed the broken window’s ledge, and hauled himself up.

“Or...or that will work.”  Vir shrugged and made the same running jump at the same window.  With a whir of powerful prosthetics, he made it in much the same way Master Chief had.  Not to be outdone, Drake jumped for the same window.  He only made it halfway up the wall, but grips built into his forearms and greaves took over and he hauled himself up.  Shepard still stood at the bottom and shook his head.  

“Ok then.  I guess I’ll just take the stairs.”  

The vast majority of the wild melee was focused near the middle of the room.  There, the mercenaries desperately fought against the soldiers of the Imperial Guard.  The mercenaries had thought to take the enemy off balance by charging them, a tactic seldom used in an age of automatic and plasma weaponry, but had not counted on soldiers of other universes, used to fighting in different ways.  The Guardsmen had fixed bayonets, and now wielded the twenty inch blades with lethal efficiency.  However, despite the Guard doing most of the fighting, it was by far the Scoundrel captains who garnered the most attention.  Each fought with their own style, was a death-dealing whirlwind.  

Master Chief fought with a precision that only a genetically enhanced super-soldier could.  A strange, teardrop-shaped  plasma sword was held aloft in one hand, and he brought it down with murderous exactness.  Each stroke was backed by the massive strength of his seven foot frame, and gut through armor and bone as if it didn’t exist.  He was a one man killing machine; he was a SPARTAN super-warrior.  None stood in his way for long.  

Ciaphas Cain used the same practical and lethal fighting style as he did in his duel with the Drev.  His chainsword hummed and its teeth whirred as it cut through muscle and sinew, raising great gouts of blood into the air.  In his other hand he held a laspistol, which cracked off shots at any who were beyond the reach of the deadly teeth of his sword.  

Jack Cooper fought with grace and style.  He danced around the enemy, using the extra speed and mobility of his Pilot’s suit.  His combat knife slid between ribs and through throats, and shots from his sidearm rang out, blowing ragged holes through heads and torsos.  His legs lashed out in the form of powerful kicks, still with a Pilot's grace, and landed on kidneys and knees, knocking his opponents to the ground where he finished them at his leisure.  

Adam Vir fought with a spear, a most unusual weapon of choice.  Nevertheless, he was just as deadly as the rest.  The spear sand through the air, catching and impaling his foes.  It twirled in intricate patterns, and blocked and flicked aside incoming attacks as if they didn’t exist.  He lunged forward towards a panacing mercenary, twisting the spear at the last second so as not to get it stuck in the suction of flesh, then spun around to block an incoming attack.  

Thomas Drake fought dirty.  No trick was too low or underhanded.  His left hand crackled with electricity, stunning and killing any he punched.  A keen-bladed knife was in his right, and he stabbed groins, gouged eyes, and slit throats with impunity.  He bellowed reactive insults while he fought, calling in to question his opponent’s lineage and stature as he charged and hacked and stabbed.  

And Quill...well...he entered the room at a run, then promptly slipped on a puddle of blood and fell face first into the cold concrete floor.  

The Scoundrels gradually whittled down their enemies, one by one, until there was only a small group, fear in their eyes, huddling against the back wall.  The Scoundrels advanced, weapons drawn, and the mercenaries raised their own, prepared for one last defiant gesture.  Then, the air shimmered and distorted, and Kirk and a group of Enterprise crewmen, weapons drawn, appeared as if from nowhere.  

“Hands up,” said Kirk with probably more amusement than was really necessary.  Slowly, the mercenaries lowered their weapons and put them on the ground.  The Scoundrels looked at each other for a moment before Cooper broke the silence.

“Okay.  That was...underwhelming.”  

“What do we do with them?” asked Shepard, gesturing towards the prisoners.  

“Eh.  I say we just leave ‘em here,” said Drake with a shrug.  The others stared at him with incredulity.  

“Wait, wait...you were the one advocating orbital bombardment earlier!”  

“Well, we have the thing now.  No need to kill them, no need to do anything with them really.   We can just pack up and go.  Leave them here.”  The Scoundrels looked at each other and seemed to reach an agreement.  

“Fine.  Let’s go.”  Kirk looked over to Spock and spoke to him in an undertone.

“You know, this didn’t end that badly.  None of the redshirts died!”  As if on cue, one of the Enterprise’s crewmen, clad in black pants and a red shirt, fell over clutching his chest.  One of the Imperial Guardsmen knelt down to check on him. 

“He’s dead, sir!  I think a heart attack.”  Kirk shook his head.  

“You have got to be kidding me.”

After the mercenaries had been herded in the basement and the Scoundrels’ forces were trailing out of the compound, Cain pulled Drake aside.  

“Drake, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”  

“Of course.  What’s on your mind?”  Cain looked around to make sure no one was listening.  

“Those weapons.  The only way you could have gotten several of them was if you stole them from the Inquisition.”  

“And if I did?” replied Drake.  

“The Inquisition is not an organization you want to steal from.”  Cain loosened his chainsword in its scabbard.  Drake smiled.  

“Funny, actually.  I can.  You see, those weapons I found in a small hidden stash.  Apparently, a rogue and very dead Inquisitor named Filidarus Calzik had hidden them on the very edge of Imperial space.  No one would have ever gone for them, no Imperial would have ever found them.”

“I know of them, now that you’ve told me,” replied Cain, his hands still on his weapons.  Drake laughed, the exact same laugh as when he told the Scoundrels he knew their secrets aboard the Apocalypse.  

“Interestingly enough, weapons were not the only thing I found in that stash.  There was also a computer.  Which is why I know Calzik’s name.  And, on that computer, was...an incomplete manuscript.  An...autobiography.”  Drake smiled again.  “Your autobiography, my dear Cain.”  Cain turned a shade of chalk white.  “Now, consider, if you will, my dear Cain, the fascinating consequences if the contents of that autobiography were to be released to the wider Imperium.  So, yes, I’m quite sure I can get away with stealing from the Inquisition.  Because, no one will ever know anything is missing.  And if they do, they’ll never know it was me, because everyone who knows it was me will not be saying anything about it, now will they?”  With a final parting smile, Drake spun on his heel and strode away, leaving Cain in the semi-darkness of the compound’s hallway.  

That’s it.  Hope you like it.  As per always, feel free to contact me with any complaints, concerns, compliments, questions, requests, or if you just want something cleared up.    

[dawnrider]

Knot: yay or nay?

I saved this one for today, Anon, just because it seemed appropriate for an AMA.

I will be honest and say that I’m not really familiar enough to make an informed and adamant YAY choice.  I have dabbled in writing the knot idea in Jungle Fever, but I would by no means say I did it justice.  I have hinted at it (probably rather poorly) in a few others, To Sleep Perchance to Dream being one of them, I think. I think it can definitely add an element to smoot that can be intriguing!

[donateliamitsuki]

EVEN MORE SHIP DYNAMICS I JUST LOVE

Bc I said I had more didn’t I? ;)

Best friends to lovers (even if cliché: bonus if they’re CHILDHOOD friends)

Partners in crime (like Joker and Harley but healthy lol or just childish troublemakers)

Master of flirting + obvlivious af

Healthy rivals to lovers (bonus if even being lovers like to make dares and such)

A just needs protection and love which B decides to give. B thinks they’re just loyal but it’s actually love.

Mutually in love but both are too stupid to just confess already

Antisociality in person + complete sunshine (only complete sunshine can see antisociality in person soft kind and cute side. Everyone else stares in confusion)

Hero reforms villain. Villain gets weird uncle status. Ex-villain can’t resist the biggest cinnamon roll in te group but it’s in constant denial (EHEM CINNAMON ROLL IS EITHER OBLIVIOUS OR DOUBTS EX-VILLAIN LOVING THEM)

Extrovert who can’t stop talking + introvert who just loves to hear them

Great contrast. Perfect relationship aesthetic. (like blue x red for example)

Ehem: older yet bottom and unexperieced af

Big tall badass woman + small short sunshine boi (bonus points if she tops)

Flirt smoot king/queen + easily flustered dork

Complete drama queen diva + daddy (lol)

Moron + Moronsexual (also in denial)

Personafied anxiety + chill voice of reason

Bodyguard AU

Cool dude that can’t keep chill in fornt of crush

FUCKING SOULMATES OF COURSE

Morticia and Gomez Adams kind of dynamic pretty please

[asortofsensation-a]

Knowing your partner well makes writing together a lot easier. tag this with people you enjoy roleplaying with,  but want to get to know better.

BASICS  !

name :    adam

age  :    18

pronouns : he/him

zodiac  sign  :   leo

taken  or  single  :   single

THREE  FACTS  !

1.   I am currently studying business at college

2.   my favourite animal is the octopus (specifically the dumbo octopus, those funky little dudes)

3.   I own more pillows than one person probably should.

EXPERIENCE  !

platforms  used  :   tumblr and discord.

MUSE  PREFERENCE  !

female  or  male  :  both !

least  favorite  face(s)  :  i’m not getting into That

multi  or  single :  both !

WRITING  PREFERENCE  !

fluff  /  angst  /  smut :   fluff and angst! haven’t really delved into the land of smoot tbh

plot  /  memes :  both !

TAGGED  BY: @thexhoodedxvigilante TAGGING: anyone who wants to do it, go ahead!

[askmyfandoms]

2-Series: Technological and scientific experiments

200: Adam

201: Geigenstein

202: Jam

203: Snipe

204: Nosox

205: Cheney

206: Maggie

207: Barcode

208: Hoax

209: Smoot

210: Retro

211: Jangle

212: 2-Late

213: UHF

214: Pix

215: Crammer

216: Key

217: Rat

218: Target

219: Missy

220:   Millie

221: Sparky

222: Poxy

223: Glitch

224: Tweak

225: Mashy

226: Combo

227:  Butter

228: Melty

229: Kingpin

230: Checkup

231: Sprok

232: Poser

233: Pitch

234: Shush

235: Docker

236: Charger

237: Blip

238: Bworp

239: Clickster

240: Sap

241: Press-5

242: Brownout

243: Pane

244: Bore

245: Sournote

246: Creamer

247: Qwerty

248: Belle

249: Sproing

250: Lacrosse

251: Link

252: Crete

253: Uncrete

254: Mr. Stenchy

255: Mrs. Sickly

256: Addy

257: Rattat

258: Sample

259: Rash

260: GPS

261: B. V. Beaverton

262: Ace

263: SFS

264: Poach

265: Wip

266: 10x

267: Wishy-Washy

268: Celsenheit

269: Gyrotta

270: Gillmore

271: Noso

272: Wormhole

273: Boxboom

274: Alexander

275: Tickle-Tummy

276: Remmy

277: Snooty

278: Pasthole

279: Futurehole

280: Benedict Arnold

281: Ray

282: Click

283: Quarklifter

284: Pixel

285: Lax

286: Gellasifier

287: Burl

288: Boomer

289: Stringulator

290: U-port

291: Catalyst

292: Whatsamattafoyou

293: Vacuum

294: Poppapoppup

295: Spineless

296: Crash

297: Shortstuff

298: Cat

299: Dimensionator

[xirelluniyt]

Traits ~Xiran Rayne~

bold   all   physical   traits   that   apply   to   your   muse.

eyes (general):   large   /   small   /   narrow   /   sharp  /   squinty   /   round   /   wide-set   / close-set   / almond-shaped  /  deep-set   /   sunken   /   bulging   /   protruding   /   wide /   hooded   /   heavy-lidded   /   bright /   sparkling / glittering /   flecked   /   dull   /   bleary   /   rheumy   /   cloudy   /   red-rimmed   /   beady   /   bird-like   /  cat-like   /   jewel-like   /   steely /   hard   /   long lashes /   sweeping eyelashes /   thick eyelashes

eyes (color):     chestnut   /   chocolate brown   /   cocoa brown   /   coffee brown   /   mocha   /   mahogany   /   sepia   /   sienna brown   /   mink brown   /   copper   /   amber   /   cognac   /   whiskey   /   brandy   /   honey   /    tawny   /   topaz   /   hazel   /   obsidian   /   onyx   /   coal   /   raven   /   midnight  /   sky blue   /   sunny blue   /   cornflower blue   /   steel blue   /   ice blue   /   arctic blue   /   glacial blue   /   crystal blue   /   cerulean   /   electric blue   /   azure   /   lake blue   /   aquamarine   /   turquoise   /   denim blue   /   slate blue / slate gray   /   storm blue / storm gray   /   silver   /   silver gray   /   chrome   /   platinum   /   pewter   /   smoky gray   /   ash gray   /   concrete gray   /   dove gray   /   shark gray   /   fog gray   /   gunmetal gray   /   olive   /   emerald   /   leaf green   /   moss green   /   soft pink   /   seafoam  /  cyan  / blood red / bright pink

eyebrows:     arched   /   straight   /   plucked   /   sparse   /   trim   /   dark   /   faint   /   thin   /   thick   /   unruly   /   bushy   /   heavy   /  curved  

skin (general):     lined   /   wrinkled   /   seamed   /   leathery   /   sagging   /   drooping   /   loose   /   clear /   smooth   /   silken   /   satiny   /   dry   /   flaky   /   scaly/plated   /   delicate   /   thin   /   translucent   /  luminescent   /   baby-soft   /   flawless /   small pores   /   large pores   /   glowing   /   dewy   /   dull   /   velvety   /   fuzzy   /   rough   /   uneven   /   mottled   /   dimpled   /   doughy   /   firm   /   freckled /   pimply   /   pockmarked   /   blemished   /   pitted   /   scarred/   bruised   /   veined   /   scratched /   sunburned   /   weather-beaten   /   raw   /   tattooed /  metallic /  pierced  /  scarification  / natural armor (Scales)

skin (color):     amber   /   bronze   /   cinnamon   /   copper   /   dark brown   /   deep brown   /   ebony   /   pure white (Scales)   /   honey   /   golden   /   pale /   pallid   /   pasty   /   fair   /   light   /   cream   /   alabaster   /   ivory   /   bisque   /   milk   /  porcelain   /   chalky   /   sallow   /   olive   /   peach   /   rosy   /   ruddy   /   florid   /   russet   /   tawny   /   fawn  /  lurid  /  red   /   violet

face structure:     square   /   round   /   oblong   /   oval   /   elongated   /   narrow   /   heart-shaped   /   cat-like   /  wolfish   /   high forehead   /   broad forehead   /   prominent brow ridge   /   protruding brow bone   /   sharp cheekbones   /   high cheekbones /   angular cheekbones   /   hollow cheeks   /   square jaw   /   chiseled   /   sculpted   /   craggy   /   soft  /   jowly   /   jutting chin   /   pointed chin   /   weak chin   /   receding chin   /   double chin   /   cleft chin   /   dimple in chin   /  visible adam’s apple / carved features   /  carved jawline /  fine features

nose:     snub   /   dainty   /   button /   turned-up   /   long /   broad   /   thin   /   straight /  pointed /   crooked   /   aquiline   /   roman   /   bulbous   /   flared   /   hawk   /   strong  /  linear

mouth/lips: thin   /   narrow   /   full   /   lush   /   cupid’s bow /   rosebud   /   dry   /   cracked   /   chapped   /   moist   /   glossy   /   straight teeth   /   crooked teeth   /   gap between teeth   / gleaming white teeth   /   yellowed teeth   /   braces   / overbite   /   underbite   /   dimples  /  serrated teeth  /   curved teeth

facial hair:     clean-shaven  /   smooth-shaven   /   beard   /   neckbeard   /   goatee   /   moustache   /   sideburns   /   mutton-chop sideburns   /   stubble   /   a few days’ growth of beard   /   five o’ clock shadow   /  metallic beard extension  /  chin scales/plates

hair (general):   long /   short   /   shoulder-length   /   loose   /   limp   /   dull   /  shiny   /   glossy   /   sleek   /  smooth   /   luminous   /   lustrous   /   spiky   /   stringy    /   shaggy   /   tangled   /   messy   /   tousled /   windswept  /   unkempt   /   straggly   /   neatly combed   /   parted   /   slicked down   /   slicked back   /   cropped /   clipped   /   buzzed   /   buzz cut   /   curly   /   bushy   /   frizzy   /   wavy   /   straight   /   lanky   /   dry   /   oily   /   greasy   /  layers   /   corkscrews   /   spirals /   ringlets   /   braids   /   dreadlocks   /   widow’s peak   /   bald   /   shaved   /   comb-over   /thick   /   luxuriant   /   voluminous   / full /   wild   /   untamed   /   bouncy /   wispy   /   fine   /   thinning  /  floorlength   /  coiffured

hair (color):     black /   blue-black   /   jet black  /   raven   /   ebony   /   inky black   /   midnight /   sable   /   salt and pepper   /   silver   /   silver gray   /   charcoal gray   /   steel gray   /   white   /  snow-white /   brown   /   brunette   /   chocolate brown   /   coffee brown   /   ash brown   /   brown sugar   /   nut brown   /   caramel   /   tawny brown   /   toffee brown   / red /   ginger   /   auburn   /   copper   /   strawberry blonde   /   butterscotch   /   honey   /   wheat   /   blonde   /   golden   /   sandy blond   /   flaxen   /   fair-haired   /   bleached   /   platinum /  Violet (Highlights) / dark green with pink highlights

body type:     tall /   average height   /   short /   petite   /   tiny   /   compact   /   big   /   large   /   burly   /   beefy   /   bulky   /   brawny   /   barrel-chested   /   heavy   /   heavy-set   /   fat   /   overweight   /   obese   /   flabby   /   chunky   /   chubby   /   pudgy   /   pot-bellied   /   portly   /   thick   /   stout   /   lush   /   plush   /   full-figured   /   ample   /   rounded   /   voluptuous   /   curvy /   hourglass   /   plump   /   soft   /   leggy   /   long-legged   /   gangling   /   lanky   /   coltish   /   lissome   /   willowy  /   lithe   /   lean   /  svelte /  slim   /   slender   /   trim /  thin  /   skinny /   emaciated   /   gaunt   /   bony   /   spare   /   solid /   stocky   /   wiry   /   rangy   /   sinewy   /   stringy   /   ropy   /   sturdy   /   strapping   /   powerful   /   hulking   /   fit   /   athletic /   toned /   muscular   /   chiseled  /   taut   /   ripped   /   herculean   /   broad-shouldered /   sloping shoulders   /   bowlegged

hands:     delicate   /   small /   large   /   square   /   sturdy  /   strong   /   smooth /   rough  /   calloused   /  elegant /   plump   /   manicured   /   stubby fingers   /   long fingers  /   ragged nails   /   grimy fingernails   /   ink-stained  /  talons (Kept shortish) / long nails

Tagging so you can see where the new blog is!: @jadestormbrand, @divine-ruin, @luli-xiv, @unsteadydragon, @eastern-skies, @garlean-nonsense, @a-pack-of-rabid-owls, @utameiday, @sugisxiv, @rhalgr, @nightmaze, @tempexiii, @lominsan-suncat, @asholanntern, @kaia-wars, @rihqa.

Thanks for all your support, and I hope you continue to show it here, more to come! ^_^

[xiranrayne]

Traits ~Xiran Rayne~

bold   all   physical   traits   that   apply   to   your   muse.

eyes (general):   large   /   small   /   narrow   /   sharp   /   squinty   /   round   /   wide-set   / close-set   / almond-shaped  /  deep-set   /   sunken   /   bulging   /   protruding   /   wide /   hooded   /   heavy-lidded   /   bright /   sparkling / glittering  /   flecked   /   dull   /   bleary   /   rheumy   /   cloudy   /   red-rimmed   /   beady   /   bird-like   /  cat-like   /   jewel-like   /   steely /   hard   /   long lashes /   sweeping eyelashes /   thick eyelashes

eyes (color):     chestnut   /   chocolate brown   /   cocoa brown   /   coffee brown   /   mocha   /   mahogany   /   sepia   /   sienna brown   /   mink brown   /   copper   /   amber   /   cognac   /   whiskey   /   brandy   /   honey   /    tawny   /   topaz   /   hazel   /   obsidian   /   onyx   /   coal   /   raven   /   midnight  /   sky blue   /   sunny blue   /   cornflower blue   /   steel blue   /   ice blue   /   arctic blue   /   glacial blue   /   crystal blue   /   cerulean   /   electric blue   /   azure   /   lake blue   /   aquamarine   /   turquoise   /   denim blue   /   slate blue / slate gray   /   storm blue / storm gray   /   silver   /   silver gray   /   chrome   /   platinum   /   pewter   /   smoky gray   /   ash gray   /   concrete gray   /   dove gray   /   shark gray   /   fog gray   /   gunmetal gray   /   olive   /   emerald   /   leaf green   /   moss green   /   soft pink   /   seafoam  /  cyan  / blood red / bright pink

eyebrows:     arched   /   straight   /   plucked   /   sparse   /   trim   /   dark   /   faint   /   thin   /   thick   /   unruly   /   bushy   /   heavy   /  curved  

skin (general):     lined   /   wrinkled   /   seamed   /   leathery   /   sagging   /   drooping   /   loose   /   clear /   smooth   /   silken   /   satiny   /   dry   /   flaky   /   scaly/plated   /   delicate   /   thin   /   translucent   /  luminescent   /   baby-soft   /   flawless /   small pores   /   large pores   /   glowing   /   dewy   /   dull   /   velvety   /   fuzzy   /   rough   /   uneven   /   mottled   /   dimpled   /   doughy   /   firm   /   freckled /   pimply   /   pockmarked   /   blemished   /   pitted   /   scarred/   bruised   /   veined   /   scratched /   sunburned   /   weather-beaten   /   raw   /   tattooed /  metallic /  pierced  /  scarification  / natural armor (Scales)

skin (color):     amber   /   bronze   /   cinnamon   /   copper   /   dark brown   /   deep brown   /   ebony   /   pure white (Scales)   /   honey   /   golden   /   pale /   pallid   /   pasty   /   fair   /   light   /   cream   /   alabaster   /   ivory   /   bisque   /   milk   /  porcelain   /   chalky   /   sallow   /   olive   /   peach   /   rosy   /   ruddy   /   florid   /   russet   /   tawny   /   fawn  /  lurid  /  red   /   violet

face structure:     square   /   round   /   oblong   /   oval   /   elongated   /   narrow   /   heart-shaped   /   cat-like   /  wolfish   /   high forehead   /   broad forehead   /   prominent brow ridge   /   protruding brow bone   /   sharp cheekbones   /   high cheekbones /   angular cheekbones   /   hollow cheeks   /   square jaw   /   chiseled   /   sculpted   /   craggy   /   soft  /   jowly   /   jutting chin   /   pointed chin   /   weak chin   /   receding chin   /   double chin   /   cleft chin   /   dimple in chin   /   visible adam’s apple / carved features   /  carved jawline /  fine features

nose:     snub   /   dainty   /   button /   turned-up   /   long /   broad   /   thin   /   straight /  pointed /   crooked   /   aquiline   /   roman   /   bulbous   /   flared   /   hawk   /   strong  /  linear

mouth/lips: thin   /   narrow   /   full   /   lush   /   cupid’s bow /   rosebud   /   dry   /   cracked   /   chapped   /   moist   /   glossy   /   straight teeth   /   crooked teeth   /   gap between teeth   / gleaming white teeth   /   yellowed teeth   /   braces   / overbite   /   underbite   /   dimples  /  serrated teeth  /   curved teeth

facial hair:     clean-shaven  /   smooth-shaven   /   beard   /   neckbeard   /   goatee   /   moustache   /   sideburns   /   mutton-chop sideburns   /   stubble   /   a few days’ growth of beard   /   five o’ clock shadow   /  metallic beard extension  /  chin scales/plates

hair (general):   long  /   short   /   shoulder-length   /   loose   /   limp   /   dull   /  shiny   /   glossy   /   sleek   /  smooth   /   luminous   /   lustrous   /   spiky   /   stringy    /   shaggy   /   tangled   /   messy   /   tousled /   windswept  /   unkempt   /   straggly   /   neatly combed   /   parted   /   slicked down   /   slicked back   /   cropped /   clipped   /   buzzed   /   buzz cut   /   curly   /   bushy   /   frizzy   /   wavy   /   straight   /   lanky   /   dry   /   oily   /   greasy   /  layers   /   corkscrews   /   spirals /   ringlets   /   braids   /   dreadlocks   /   widow’s peak   /   bald   /   shaved   /   comb-over   /thick   /   luxuriant   /   voluminous   /  full  /   wild   /   untamed   /   bouncy /   wispy   /   fine   /   thinning  /  floorlength   /  coiffured

hair (color):     black /   blue-black   /   jet black   /   raven   /   ebony   /   inky black   /   midnight /   sable   /   salt and pepper   /   silver   /   silver gray   /   charcoal gray   /   steel gray   /   white   /  snow-white /   brown   /   brunette   /   chocolate brown   /   coffee brown   /   ash brown   /   brown sugar   /   nut brown   /   caramel   /   tawny brown   /   toffee brown   /  red  /   ginger   /   auburn   /   copper   /   strawberry blonde   /   butterscotch   /   honey   /   wheat   /   blonde   /   golden   /   sandy blond   /   flaxen   /   fair-haired   /   bleached   /   platinum /  Violet (Highlights) / dark green with pink highlights

body type:     tall /   average height   /   short /   petite   /   tiny   /   compact   /   big   /   large   /   burly   /   beefy   /   bulky   /   brawny   /   barrel-chested   /   heavy   /   heavy-set   /   fat   /   overweight   /   obese   /   flabby   /   chunky   /   chubby   /   pudgy   /   pot-bellied   /   portly   /   thick   /   stout   /   lush   /   plush   /   full-figured   /   ample   /   rounded   /   voluptuous   /   curvy /   hourglass   /   plump   /   soft   /   leggy   /   long-legged   /   gangling   /   lanky   /   coltish   /   lissome   /   willowy  /   lithe   /   lean   /  svelte /  slim   /   slender   /   trim /  thin  /   skinny /   emaciated   /   gaunt   /   bony   /   spare   /   solid /   stocky   /   wiry   /   rangy   /   sinewy   /   stringy   /   ropy   /   sturdy   /   strapping   /   powerful   /   hulking   /   fit   /   athletic /   toned /   muscular   /   chiseled  /   taut   /   ripped   /   herculean   /   broad-shouldered /   sloping shoulders   /   bowlegged

hands:     delicate   /   small  /   large   /   square   /   sturdy   /   strong   /   smooth /   rough  /   calloused   /  elegant /   plump   /   manicured   /   stubby fingers   /   long fingers  /   ragged nails   /   grimy fingernails   /   ink-stained  /  talons (Kept shortish) / long nails

tagged by: @jadestormbrand

Tagging: @liam-from-hyperion, @anothershamelesspeachcollection, @unsteadydragon, @garlean-nonsense, @kaia-wars, @divine-ruin, @dantestormbrand, @shouldervortex, @bellamy-ffxiv, and everyone else who is interested!

Will be making one for Luna later on, when the time is right ^_^

[jadestormbrand]

Traits | Jade Stormbrand |

bold   all   physical   traits   that   apply   to   your   muse.

eyes (general):   large   /   small   /   narrow   /   sharp   /   squinty   /   round   /   wide-set   / close-set   / almond-shaped  /  deep-set   /   sunken   /   bulging   /   protruding   /   wide /   hooded   /   heavy-lidded   /   bright  /   sparkling /  glittering   /   flecked   /   dull   /   bleary   /   rheumy   /   cloudy   /   red-rimmed   /   beady   /   bird-like   /  cat-like   /   jewel-like   /   steely /   hard   /   long lashes /   sweeping eyelashes /   thick eyelashes

eyes (color):     chestnut   /   chocolate brown   /   cocoa brown   /   coffee brown   /   mocha   /   mahogany   /   sepia   /   sienna brown   /   mink brown   /   copper   /   amber   /   cognac   /   whiskey   /   brandy   /   honey   /    tawny   /   topaz   /   hazel   /   obsidian   /   onyx   /   coal   /   raven   /   midnight  /   sky blue   /   sunny blue   /   cornflower blue   /   steel blue   /   ice blue   /   arctic blue   /   glacial blue   /   crystal blue   /   cerulean   /   electric blue   /   azure   /   lake blue   /   aquamarine   /   turquoise   /   denim blue   /   slate blue / slate gray   /   storm blue / storm gray   /   silver   /   silver gray   /   chrome   /   platinum   /   pewter   /   smoky gray   /   ash gray   /   concrete gray   /   dove gray   /   shark gray   /   fog gray   /   gunmetal gray   /   olive   /   emerald   /   leaf green   /   moss green   /   soft pink   /   seafoam  /  cyan  / blood red / bright pink

eyebrows:     arched   /   straight   /   plucked   /   sparse   /   trim   /   dark   /   faint   /   thin   /   thick   /   unruly   /   bushy   /   heavy   /  curved  

skin (general):     lined   /   wrinkled   /   seamed   /   leathery   /   sagging   /   drooping   /   loose   /   clear /   smooth   /   silken   /   satiny   /   dry   /   flaky   /   scaly/plated   /   delicate   /   thin   /   translucent   /  luminescent   /   baby-soft   /   flawless /   small pores   /   large pores   /   glowing   /   dewy   /   dull   /   velvety   /   fuzzy   /   rough   /   uneven   /   mottled   /   dimpled   /   doughy   /   firm   /   freckled /   pimply   /   pockmarked   /   blemished   /   pitted   /   scarred/   bruised   /   veined   /   scratched /   sunburned   /   weather-beaten   /   raw   /   tattooed /  metallic /  pierced  /  scarification  / natural armor (Scales)

skin (color):     amber   /   bronze   /   cinnamon   /   copper   /   dark brown   /   deep brown   /   ebony   /   pure white (Scales)   /   honey   /   golden   /   pale /   pallid   /   pasty   /   fair   /   light   /   cream   /   alabaster   /   ivory   /   bisque   /   milk   /  porcelain   /   chalky   /   sallow   /   olive   /   peach   /   rosy   /   ruddy   /   florid   /   russet   /   tawny   /   fawn  /  lurid  /  red   /   violet

face structure:     square   /   round   /   oblong   /   oval   /   elongated   /   narrow   /   heart-shaped   /   cat-like   /  wolfish   /   high forehead   /   broad forehead   /   prominent brow ridge   /   protruding brow bone   /   sharp cheekbones   /   high cheekbones /   angular cheekbones   /   hollow cheeks   /   square jaw   /   chiseled   /   sculpted   /   craggy   /   soft  /   jowly   /   jutting chin   /   pointed chin   /   weak chin   /   receding chin   /   double chin   /   cleft chin   /   dimple in chin   /   visible adam’s apple / carved features   /  carved jawline /  fine features

nose:     snub   /   dainty   /   button /   turned-up   /   long /   broad   /   thin   /   straight /  pointed /   crooked   /   aquiline   /   roman   /   bulbous   /   flared   /   hawk   /   strong  /  linear

mouth/lips: thin   /   narrow   /   full   /   lush   /   cupid’s bow /   rosebud   /   dry   /   cracked   /   chapped   /   moist   /   glossy   /   straight teeth   /   crooked teeth   /   gap between teeth   /  gleaming white teeth   /   yellowed teeth   /   braces   / overbite   /   underbite   /   dimples  /  serrated teeth  /   curved teeth

facial hair:     clean-shaven  /   smooth-shaven   /   beard   /   neckbeard   /   goatee   /   moustache   /   sideburns   /   mutton-chop sideburns   /   stubble   /   a few days’ growth of beard   /   five o’ clock shadow   /  metallic beard extension  /  chin scales/plates

hair (general):    long   /   short   /   shoulder-length   /   loose   /   limp   /   dull   /   shiny   /   glossy   /   sleek   /  smooth   /   luminous   /   lustrous   /   spiky   /   stringy    /   shaggy   /   tangled   /   messy   /   tousled /   windswept  /   unkempt   /   straggly   /   neatly combed   /   parted   /   slicked down   /   slicked back   /   cropped /   clipped   /   buzzed   /   buzz cut   /   curly   /   bushy   /   frizzy   /   wavy   /   straight   /   lanky   /   dry   /   oily   /   greasy   /  layers   /   corkscrews   /   spirals /   ringlets   /   braids   /   dreadlocks   /   widow’s peak   /   bald   /   shaved   /   comb-over   /thick   /   luxuriant   /   voluminous   /   full   /   wild   /   untamed   /   bouncy /   wispy   /   fine   /   thinning  /  floorlength   /  coiffured

hair (color):     black /   blue-black   /   jet black   /   raven   /   ebony   /   inky black   /   midnight /   sable   /   salt and pepper   /   silver   /   silver gray   /   charcoal gray   /   steel gray   /   white   /  snow-white /   brown   /   brunette   /   chocolate brown   /   coffee brown   /   ash brown   /   brown sugar   /   nut brown   /   caramel   /   tawny brown   /   toffee brown   /   red   /   ginger   /   auburn   /   copper   /   strawberry blonde   /   butterscotch   /   honey   /   wheat   /   blonde   /   golden   /   sandy blond   /   flaxen   /   fair-haired   /   bleached   /   platinum /  Violet (Highlights) / dark green with pink highlights

body type:     tall /   average height   /   short /   petite   /   tiny   /   compact   /   big   /   large   /   burly   /   beefy   /   bulky   /   brawny   /   barrel-chested   /   heavy   /   heavy-set   /   fat   /   overweight   /   obese   /   flabby   /   chunky   /   chubby   /   pudgy   /   pot-bellied   /   portly   /   thick   /   stout   /   lush   /   plush   /   full-figured   /   ample   /   rounded   /   voluptuous   /   curvy /   hourglass   /   plump   /   soft   /   leggy   /   long-legged   /   gangling   /   lanky   /   coltish   /   lissome   /   willowy  /   lithe   /   lean   /  svelte /  slim   /   slender   /   trim /  thin  /   skinny /   emaciated   /   gaunt   /   bony   /   spare   /   solid /   stocky   /   wiry   /   rangy   /   sinewy   /   stringy   /   ropy   /   sturdy   /   strapping   /   powerful   /   hulking   /   fit   /   athletic /   toned /   muscular   /   chiseled  /   taut   /   ripped   /   herculean   /   broad-shouldered /   sloping shoulders   /   bowlegged

hands:     delicate   /   small   /   large   /   square   /   sturdy   /   strong   /   smooth /   rough  /   calloused   /  elegant /   plump   /   manicured   /   stubby fingers   /   long fingers  /   ragged nails   /   grimy fingernails   /   ink-stained  /  talons (Kept shortish) / long nails

tagged by: @nihil242 @lady-of-crowns @celestial-opposition I think some more but thank you all!

tagging: @dantestormbrand @xiranrayne @tempexiii @divine-ruin @unsteadydragon And anyone else but please tagg me!

[big-city-hop-blog]

Just because I want to

eyes (general):     large /   small   /   narrow   /   sharp   /   squinty   /   round   /   wide-set   /   close-set   /   deep-set   /   sunken   /   bulging   /   protruding   /   wide   /   hooded   /  heavy-lidded   /   bright   /   sparkling   /   glittering   /   flecked   /   dull   /   bleary   /   rheumy   /   cloudy   /   red-rimmed  /   beady   /   bird-like   /   cat-like   /   jewel-like   /   steely   /   hard   /  long lashes   /   sweeping eyelashes   /   thick eyelashes

eyes (color):     chestnut   /   chocolate brown   /   cocoa brown   /   coffee brown   /   mocha   /   mahogany   /   sepia   /   sienna brown   /   mink brown   /   copper   /   amber   /   cognac   /   whiskey   /   brandy   /   honey   /    tawny   /   topaz   /   hazel   /   obsidian   /   onyx   /   coal   /   raven   /   midnight   /   sky blue   /   sunny blue  /   cornflower blue   /   steel blue   /   ice blue   /   arctic blue   /   glacial blue   /   crystal blue   /   cerulean   /   electric blue   /   azure   /   lake blue   /   aquamarine   /   turquoise   /   denim blue   /   slate blue / slate gray   /   storm blue / storm gray   /   silver   /   silver gray   /   chrome   /   platinum   /   pewter   /   smoky gray   /   ash gray   /   concrete gray   /   dove gray   /   shark gray   /   fog gray   /   gunmetal gray   /   olive   /   emerald   /   leaf green   /   moss green

eyebrows:     arched   /   straight   /   plucked   /   sparse   /   trim   /   dark   /   faint  /  thin  /  thick   /   unruly   /   bushy   /   heavy

skin (general):     lined   /   wrinkled   /   seamed   /   leathery   /   sagging   /   drooping   /   loose   /   clear /   smooth   /   silken   /   satiny   /   dry   /   flaky   /   scaly   /  delicate   /   thin   /   translucent   /   luminescent   /   baby-soft   /   flawless   /   small pores  /   large pores   /   glowing   /   dewy   /   dull   /   velvety   /   fuzzy   /   rough   /   uneven   /   mottled   /   dimpled   /   doughy   /   firm   /   freckled   /   pimply   /   pockmarked   /   blemished   /   pitted   /  scarred   /  bruised   /   veined   /   scratched   /   sunburned   /   weather-beaten   /   raw   /   tattooed

skin (color):     amber   /   bronze   /   cinnamon   /   copper   /   dark brown   /   deep brown   /   ebony   /   honey   /   golden   /   pale   /   pallid   /   pasty   /   fair   /   light   /   cream   /   alabaster   /   ivory   /   bisque   /   milk   /   porcelain   /   chalky   /   sallow   /   olive   /   peach   /   rosy   /   ruddy   /   florid   /   russet   /   tawny   /   fawn

face structure:     square   /   round  /   oblong   /   oval   /   elongated   /   narrow   /   heart-shaped   /   cat-like   /   wolfish  /   high forehead   /   broad forehead   /   prominent brow ridge   /   protruding brow bone   /   sharp cheekbones   /   high cheekbones   /   angular cheekbones   /   hollow cheeks  /   square jaw  /   chiseled   /   sculpted   /   craggy   /   soft  /   jowly   /   jutting chin   /   pointed chin  /   weak chin   /   receding chin   /   double chin   /   cleft chin   /   dimple in chin   /   visible adam’s apple

nose:     snub   /   dainty   /   button   /   turned-up   /   long   /   broad   /   thin   /   straight   /  pointed   /   crooked   /   aquiline   /   roman   /   bulbous   /   flared   /   hawk   /   strong

mouth/lips: thin   /   narrow   /   full   /   lush   /   cupid’s bow  /   rosebud   /   dry   /  cracked   /   chapped   /   moist  /   glossy   /   straight teeth   /   crooked teeth   /   gap between teeth   /   gleaming white teeth   /   yellowed teeth   /   braces   /   overbite   /   underbite   /  dimples

facial hair:     clean-shaven  /   smooth-shaven  /   beard   /   neckbeard   /   goatee   /   moustache   /   sideburns   /   mutton-chop sideburns   /   stubble  /   a few days’ growth of beard   /   five o’ clock shadow

hair (general):     long   /   short   /  shoulder-length   /   loose   /   limp   /   dull   /   shiny  /   glossy   /   sleek   /   smooth   /   luminous   /   lustrous   /   spiky   /   stringy    /   shaggy   /   tangled   /   messy   /  tousled   /   windblown  /   unkempt   /   straggly   /   neatly combed   /  parted   /   slicked down   /   slicked back   /   cropped   /   clipped   /   buzzed   /   buzz cut   /  curly   /   bushy  /   frizzy   /   wavy   /   straight   /   lanky   /   dry  /   oily   /   greasy   /  layers  /   corkscrews   /   spirals   /   ringlets   /   braids   /   dreadlocks   /   widow’s peak   /   bald   /   shaved   /   comb-over   / thick  /   luxuriant   /   voluminous   /   full   /  wild   /   untamed   /  bouncy   /   wispy   /   fine   /   thinning

hair (color):     black   /   blue-black   /   jet black   /   raven   /   ebony   /   inky black   /   midnight   /   sable   /   salt and pepper   /   silver   /   silver gray   /   charcoal gray   /   steel gray   /   white   /   snow-white   /   brown   /   brunette   /   chocolate brown  /   coffee brown  /   ash brown   /   brown sugar   /   nut brown   /   caramel   /   tawny brown   /   toffee brown   /   red   /   ginger   /   auburn   /   copper   /   strawberry blonde   /   butterscotch   /   honey   /   wheat   /   blonde   /   golden   /   sandy blond   /   flaxen   /   fair-haired   /   bleached   /   platinum / other

body type:     tall /   average height   /   short   /   petite   /   tiny   /   compact   /   big   /   large   /   burly   /   beefy   /   bulky   /   brawny   /   barrel-chested   /   heavy   /   heavy-set   /   fat   /   overweight   /   obese   /   flabby   /   chunky   /   chubby   /   pudgy   /   pot-bellied   /   portly   /   thick   /   stout   /   lush   /   plush   /   full-figured   /   ample   /   rounded   /   voluptuous   /   curvy   /   hourglass   /   plump   /   leggy   /   long-legged   /   gangling   /   lanky   /   coltish   /   lissome   /   willowy   /   lithe   /   lean   /  slim  /   slender   /   trim   /   thin  /   skinny   /   emaciated   /   gaunt   /   bony   /   spare   /  solid   /   stocky   /   wiry   /   rangy   /   sinewy   /   stringy   /   ropy   /   sturdy   /   strapping   /   powerful   /   hulking   /   fit   /   athletic   /   toned  /   muscular   /   chiseled   /   taut   /   ripped   /   herculean   /   broad-shouldered   /   sloping shoulders   /   bowlegged

hands:     delicate   /   small   /   large   /   square   /   sturdy   /   strong   /   smooth   /   rough  /   calloused   /   elegant   /   plump   /   manicured   /   stubby fingers   /   long fingers   /  ragged nails /   grimy fingernails   /   ink-stained

[thelaughbutton]

truTV cancels "Those Who Can't" after 3 seasons

truTV cancels “Those Who Can’t” after 3 seasons

Photo: truTV

The sun has set on Smoot High as truTV has decided there will be no more seasons of the half hour comedy, Those Who Can’t. The show was created by, written by, and starred the Denver comedy troupe/trio, The Grawlix – Adam Cayton-Holland, Ben Roy, and Andrew Orvedahl. Portraying three likeable but inept teachers in a fictional high school in Denver, CO. The three comedians shared the…