#adam begging not to be left there but lawrence can go get help so hes gotta

[monsterbisexual]

thinking abt saw was not part of the plan when i watched it

[cringemesstickles]

Purposeful Loser

(TickleTober Day 3: Cuddles)

Summary: Adam starts a tickle fight so that he can lose on purpose (based off headcanon briefly discussed with @tickly-muffin >_<)

Pairings: Chainshipping

Word Count: 750

A/N: this is my first time writing for Saw and I’m low key scared to post this but I’m gonna do it anyways ok bye I’m gonna go hide

———————————————————

“you smell like a hospital.” Adam teased from where he was tucked away in Lawrence’s arms, making the doctor roll his eyes with exaggerated exasperation.

“Well, Adam, I am a doctor.” He said with a smile.

The atmosphere was warm and comforting and yet, Adam couldn’t help the nagging at the back of his mind; the one that yearned for a specific type of playful attention.

But how could he ask for it? That’s completely out of the question. Luckily, Adam had a plan.

Adam started poking and prodding at Lawrence’s sides, the doctor flinching and grabbing the younger’s wrists, keeping them firmly contained.

“Hehey! What do you think you’re doing?” He looked at the brunette, eyebrow raised with skepticism.

Adam’s eyes sparkled with mischief; he had the feeling his plan was working.

“What’s wrong, Doctor? Ticklish?” He snarked with a smirk, watching his lovers face and trying to figure out what he was thinking.

Lawrence wasn’t a moron. They had been together long enough for him to know a thing or two about Adam, and this was one of his typical ploys for tickles.

Lawrence gave a knowing smile but decided to play along.

He laid Adam on his back and held him in his lap, pinning his hands above his head so quickly that Adam yelped with surprise.

The doctor gave a smug grin, pleased with the blush that tinted the younger’s cheeks.

“Not so snarky now, are you?” He raised his free hand and began to wiggle his fingers threateningly over Adam’s stomach, watching his eyes widen in anticipation as he kicked his legs and squirmed helplessly, failing to suppress anticipatory giggles.

“Wahait, come on, Larry- you know I didn’t mean that doctor joke! Hospitals smell great!” He giggled frantically, watching the wiggling fingers inch closer and closer to his skin, excitement in his eyes.

“Maybe not, but I’m still going to tickle you till you can’t think straight.”

Before Adam could protest again, Lawrence plunged his fingers into the sensitive flesh, scribbling and scratching skillfully.

“EHEHEEK! NOOO, DOHOHONT!!” Adam shrieked, futilely squirming from left to right, only for the tickles to follow.

“Oh please. As if you weren’t begging for this.” Lawrence mockingly scoffed, skittering up to the ribs.

Adam snorted with laughter, happy to receive the attention he wanted, but also embarrassing.

Adam’s cheeks flushed bright red, and noticeably so.

“I-I WAS NOHOHOT! YOU’RE CRAHAHAZY!”

The taller man hummed thoughtfully.

“Mm, no.. I don’t think I am.” He paused his attack.

“You see, what I think…” He pulled his hand back and moved to hover his fingers above Adam’s armpit, observing how his squirming got even more frantic.

“Nonono, dohohont!” Pleaded the brunette, an excited shimmer in his eye that was really pleading the opposite.

“Is that you really love…”

The fingers moved closer to their target.

“Lawrence, please!”

“To be…”

And closer…

“Haha- shut uhuhuhuuuup!!”

“TICKLED!”

With that, the doctors skilled fingers dug into the hollow of Adam’s armpit, eliciting a shrill screech from the smaller man, his laughter loud and boisterous.

“EEEK! LAWREHEHEHENCE!!” He thrashed and kicked, screams of laughter filling the small room. Lawrence was almost worried they’d get a complaint for the noise.

“What’s the matter, Adam? Ticklish?” He mimicked Adam from earlier, taking pride in the absolute glee he was bringing his boyfriend. Adam’s smile could light up any room, even their own dusty apartment.

“SHUT UHUHUHUP!!” He blushed red, turning his head to try and hide in the crook of his arm.

Adam tried to tug at his arms, but it was no use; Lawrence was much stronger than him. And besides, he was already weakened from all the tickles.

His eyes were glittery with the joy of a kid on Christmas morning, letting himself laugh uncontrollably under his boyfriend’s playful yet loving touch.

The doctor paused and watched the younger man catch his breath, cheeks flushed and eyes watery.

“You okay? Have you had enough?”

Adam grinned cheekily, eyes brightening again. “Is that all you got, Larry? I can handle a hell of a lot more than that!”

Lawrence laughed at the typical snark and enthusiasm that came from his lover.

He shook his head fondly and leaned down to press a kiss to Adam’s lips.

“You’re too much, but I love you.”

“I suppose I am pretty lovable.”

Lawrence rolled his eyes.

Where Adam contained all his sass, he had no idea. But what he did know, was that Adam had plenty of tickles in his future.

[apprenticestanheight]

Hopelessly- chainshipping

all right!! This is part one of I don't know how many--the fic that this chapter is apart of has been prewritten and I'm aiming for like, 2-3k words per chapter so around ten chapters maybe?? I'm getting this ready to be queued with 21 minutes until two in the morning so it's not unreasonable to expect my math to be off

requests are underway!! yay!! I wrote one yesterday and at least two more will hopefully come out before the end of the week (most of, if not all, will be done around the 21st because I have a super epic queue planned in the lead up to christmas)

Fic type- this first bit is generally angst and hurt/comfort

Warnings- referenced homophobia on the part of Adams parents, discussion of saw-canonical events (lawrence sawing off his foot) and related (adam has pain in his shoulder bc he was shot there), implied/referenced crappy parenting (adams parents get into arguments so loud that he recalls the walls shaking)

The first days after Lawrence had left were terrifying. They were spent in the dark, drifting in and out of consciousness, trying to stay awake in moments where he was awake but never really managing to do so.

In moments where Adam was awake, he was thinking of Lawrence. Wondering if the doctor had meant what he had said. Had meant it when he said he’d get help and make sure Adam made it out alive. He wondered if the doctor was thinking of him in turn, doubted he was.

When Adam was awake, Lawrence persisted in his mind. When he was awake, Adam was remembering Lawrences voice, trying desperately to keep it in his mind and not forget it. He was yearning for Lawrences presence, for his nonchalance and the blond of his hair.

When he was asleep, where there were not nightmares there were memories.

Laughing with his older sister as the two ate at a discount burger joint with a neon sign. Stealing cigarettes from his dad, scolding his younger brother for stealing the stolen cigarettes. There were memories of his sister reading on a beach towel while his brother splashed about in the open sea, where Adams choice had been to pull a pair of sunglasses over his eyes and watch the skyline.

There were memories of his dad being sweet to his mother from when he was a kid, memories of his father going off on tirades about college while his older sister sat, glaring defiantly at their father as he paced and gesticulated with his hands to accentuate a point that his older sister would choose to misunderstand on purpose and out of spite.

There was the memory of his older sister “running away”—or in other words, being kicked out by their Dad—when he was fifteen and she was eighteen. The memory of being kicked out himself when he was just four days away from his eighteenth birthday and leaving his brother behind in a choice that was made for him.

There was the memory of Lawrence, too—his hands slick with Lawrences blood and his own, begging and pleading to be set free, begging for Lawrence not to leave him. There was the memory of John Kramers voice saying “game over” and the horrifying sound of the door sliding shut.

And then, when it feels like it’s been a week but has probably been closer to a month, Adam is jolted awake by hands against his shoulders.

“Adam?” Comes a feminine voice. “Adam. Are you awake? Are you alive?”

Adams lips go to form a response, but his mouth is dry and all he can do is hum out confirmation, a whispered “what? What’s happening?” befalling his lips as he feels the hands on his shoulders attempt to move him to the right.

And then the feminine voice is sighing in relief. “Okay,” she says. “I can help you, Adam.”  

And then Adam is dimly registering the feeling of the cuff on his foot being loosened. And he’s feeling himself get dragged down a series of corridors, and then light is blinding and it’s in his eyes again as he’s dropped onto the concrete without care, though not without thought.

He feels a hand on his chest. A woman says “I’m going to call 911 for you, sir. Are you feeling okay?”

And the pain in Adams shoulder renews, and he groans because it hurts.

“No,” he fumbles with the word. “Sore. Everywhere.”

And then Adam is falling asleep again, dimly wondering if he should bother doing as he’d meant to in the time spent in the bathroom, the thing he’d debated doing if he’d escaped.

For the first time in eight years, half asleep on the concrete with a woman pressing a hand supportively against his chest as she talks to the 911 dispatch, Adam Faulkner-Stanheight is absentmindedly wondering if he should call his parents.

-

Adam wakes in a hospital, finding that every bone in his body feels heavy. Even his eyelids feel heavy, and he’s startled to realize that he's almost not sure where he is at first.

He clues into it the very second he registers a foggy feeling in his mind. That kind of fogginess can only come from painkillers being given to him through an IV, and then he hears the sound of his heartbeat as it thrums in a steady rhythm from the heart monitor on his right side. His IVs, he knows, are probably next to or near it.

A nurse comes in as he opens his eyes, fighting the heaviness away with a surprising amount of willpower. She laughs when she sees he’s awake, a smile spreading across red painted lips.

“Glad to see you awake, Mr. Stanheight,” she says, pulling a strand of red hair behind her ear. “You’ve caused quite a stir for a group of people. One of them is this hospitals very own, Dr. Lawrence Gordon.”

When Adam hears Lawrences name, his heart nearly catapults out of his chest.

“Who—who are the others?” He asks despite wanting desperately to know more about how Lawrence is doing. The nurses words outside of Lawrence have piqued his curiosity, too—Adam Faulkner-Stanheight has not had people caring about him, let alone enough to have those people referred to as a group, since he was still in high school, even if he was failing miserably at that point in his life.

“One was a girl of about thirty, I believe,” the nurse says. “The other a boy not much older than twenty two or twenty three. The girl said her name was Alex, and the boys name was Thomas. Said they’d heard about you on the news, they’d be around to visit before the end of the night. Girl also said she was called—she's your emergency contact, apparently."

He breathes a sigh of relief. A supermassive weight has been lifted off his shoulders and his chest, and it’s almost like he can breathe again.

“And Lawrence—how’s Lawrence?”

The nurse smiles apologetically at him as she checks his IVs and looks at his chart. “He’s in a different recovery unit, but he’s recovering. Once his ex wife brings a cane down for him to use, we’ll let him walk to your room for a visit. How are you feeling, Mr. Stanheight? I think hearing of your current state will certainly brighten Lawrences day.”

Adam spends a long few seconds thinking on it—he feels tired, confused, grateful, hungry, thirsty, discontent with the fact that he has yet to see Lawerence, scared. There is an entire scope of emotions within arms reach, and though he kind of hates it, Adam is feeling every last one of them all at once.

Scared, angry, confused, grateful, tired, exhausted. Wide awake, happy, relieved, almost overjoyed to find he’s awake and in a white hospital room with plenty of light over a dark bathroom that he was, at one point, convinced he was going to die in.

“I’m okay,” Adam says. “My shoulder is sore and I could definitely use a bite to eat, but other than that, I am peachy keen.”

The nurse laughs. “I’ll report that to Dr. Gordon, and he’ll be here to see you whenever his ex wife brings a cane by. Are you aware of how long you were held captive before you were let go?”

“I assumed it was a week, week and a half?”

“Nearly two according to the day that Lawrence escaped,” says the nurse. “Surprised you survived that, Mr. Stanheight.”

Adam sighs. “So am I,” he says. “I thought I was going to die there.”

“Well, you didn’t.” says the nurse. “Despite the insistence of the woman who came here searching for you and the boy at her side, I ought to think Lawerence will be the most excited to hear of your condition. You have a good rest of your morning, Mr. Stanheight.”

Then she’s gone and Adam is alone. He hates it the second it starts—part of him never wants to be alone ever again.

-

Adam drifts off, but when he next wakes it’s because of the smell of food from Alejandros Discount Burger Joint. It’s a place his sister had taken him to a lot when they were teens, Adam fourteen and Alex seventeen with a license that no longer required a licensed adult present in the vehicle. They stopped going when Alex was kicked out of the house, but Adam just got his license and kicked the tradition off with his brother before he dropped out of school and was kicked out in the same year.

“Hey,” Alexs voice is different from how Adam remembers hearing it last. “Heard you survived a Jigsaw trap, Adam. How’d you manage that?”

“Food,” is the first word out of Adams mouth, a word he says before he can stop himself, and he watches with a slight smile as Tom elbows their older sister. She gets it for him and Adam can’t help but devour the stuff—he’s been getting his nutrients from IVs but they’d taken him off them while he was sleeping, from the looks of it. All he’s got in terms of IVs now is an IV to hydrate him and one for painkillers.

Alex—full name Alexandra—is three years older than he is, which puts her at twenty nine, and that means it’s been nine years since they last talked. She looks like their mom, with the same brown hair he and Tom both inherited, brown eyes to match hers over the green that he and Tom inherited from their father. Her skin is pale, her jaw sharp and her smile a mirror image of Adams own.

Adam and Tom look like an amalgamation of their parents—brown hair from Mom, green eyes from Dad, pale skin from both of ‘em. Tom wears glasses and has hair that he's grown to his shoulders and put into a low bun, where Adam hasn’t really ever let his hair get past his forehead because the thought of briefly having an 80s style mullet feels too embarrassing, even if the long hair would look decent.

Adam finishes eating in a matter of minutes. He thanks Alex for the food, who tells him it wasn’t that big of a deal as Tom throws his garbage away.

There’s a pause in the air. The tension in it grows thick, and Alex manages to break it in two by grabbing Adams hand and giving it a squeeze.

“When the doctors called, I was amazed to find out I’m still listed as the first person on your emergency contact list,” Alex says. “They said they didn’t know if you’d survive because of your shoulder, but holy hell am I glad you did. Don’t really the idea of burying my baby brother, y’know? You’re younger than me, so I’m supposed to die first.”

Adam laughs a bit. “Oh, sure,” he says. “You die first, Tom and I bury you, then I die and Toms gotta bury me, but who buries Tom?”

“Our parents, if they’d ever come the fuck around,” Tom says. Adam shakes his head because he knows they won’t. They didn’t like that Alex wanted to take a year off once she graduated high school, berated Adam over his grades to a point where he just…dropped the fuck out before he could graduate, and from the last conversation he’d had with his brother, they’d kicked him out on his eighteenth birthday, three months before he was due to start living on his college campus because of the fact that he’d been caught sleeping with a classmate who happened to be a guy.

“In your dreams, brother,” Alex says. Adam squeezes her hand and closes his eyes. It’s the afternoon, but he’s tired still. He doesn’t aim to sleep, just to rest his eyes for a few minutes.

“How’d you escape?” Tom asks. “If you remember, anyway.”

“Some girl came and got me out,” Adam says, opening his eyes and deciding he’ll commit and take a nap later. “I can’t remember much—she said that she could help me, unlocked my foot, dragged me through a couple of hallways and then I was outside. Another lady called 911 for me and here I am.”

“Glad you didn’t die, brother,” Alex says. “Seriously. Thank you for not dying on the behalf of everyone who would’ve been left to grieve you.”

Adams brow furrows as he looks at his sister. “You’re—you—you’re welcome?”

Tom laughs, and that breaks the tension in the room. Adam laughs a bit, too, and so does Alex.

“Been hearing a lot about this Lawrence guy from the nurses,” Tom says. “You know him?”

“Lawrence is among the only reasons I hoped I’d escape,” Adam admits, swallowing a yawn as it comes up. “At first, anyway. Then I stopped hoping, but now we’re here so maybe hoping was a good thing.”

“Was he in the trap with you?” Alex asks.

“Yeah,” Adam nods. “Then his family was threatened, and he was basically running on adrenaline when he cut his own foot off. Promised to send help, told me he wouldn’t lie, and all of that stuff. I probably should be telling the police this stuff instead of you guys.”

Alex laughs. “I’ll drive you to the station once you’re given the clear to go,” she says. “For now, though—you should be resting. Tommy and I’ll be back tomorrow morning, okay? I’ll make sure you’re on a healthy diet of hospital cafeteria food by tonight, and I’ll bring breakfast by first thing tomorrow, brother.”

Adam sighs, nodding. “These painkillers are wicked,” he laughs again. “Morphine, I think? Maybe Benadryl, but either way it’s good.”

Alex laughs, and for the first time since they were kids, leans down and presses a sisterly kiss against Adams forehead.

It used to serve as a gesture of comfort, really. It was something she would do before hugging Adam tightly upon getting home and discovering their parents were screaming at each other in another of their arguments. It used to mean “everything is fine, the screaming will be done once their voices start going hoarse, and I’ve got you, and you’re not alone in this.”

Now, it kind of feels like a genuine “thank you for not dying on us,” said without the words. It feels like Alex is saying that she's glad he escaped the trap, that he was rescued.

It feels like she's saying "you were put into a Jigsaw trap, but you're okay now. You're all right, Adam. I've got you, and Tommys here too, so he's got you, and neither of us are going anywhere." It feels like something that should be celebrated with an entire elaborate party and a gut punch all at once, and Adam swallows thickly, squeezes Alexs hand. He doesn't say anything because he doesn't know what to say to her, doesn't know what to say to his brother.

Adam knows that he and his siblings all love to cope with humor and the nature of their occasional jokes is not at all surprising given the circumstance. Still, though, when Alex presses a kiss to his forehead, Adam feels like he’s nine years old again, watching his parents marriage fall apart because they don’t care to hide it like they did when he and Alex were in elementary school and Tom was still in daycare.

He feels like he’s pulling a pair of corded headphones over his brothers ears, like he’s trying to make sure Tom doesn’t notice the vibrations of their parents yelling through the walls while he panickedly grabs a cassette from Alexs collection and pops it into his Walkman. He feels like he’s the kid who protected his brother while Alex was with her friends at a sleepover and had yet to come home.

As Alex gives his hand a squeeze, meaningfully holds his gaze, Adam wants to cry.

“See you tomorrow, brother,” Alex says.

Because he’s not sure if he’ll be able to speak without choking up, Adam nods. He watches Alex and Tom go, presses the back of his head against the pillow, and lets it all out.

For the first time since before Lawrence left him in that bathroom, Adam Faulkner-Stanheight starts quietly sobbing.

[arctic-comet]

Osblaine week 2021, Day 2: Lyrics

Over the last several weeks, I have carefully curated a playlist for Osblaine. The final total length of the playlist is 2 hours and 53 minutes.

The playlist can be found HERE

Click "Keep Reading" if you're interested in the introduction, commentary, more graphics and the full tracklist.

For full disclosure, I have to give some of the credit to my amazing fellow Osblaine fangirls @dystopiandramaqueen, @splitscreen and everyone who participated in a certain conversation for the original inspiration and even bringing up some of the songs.

You should look at the playlist in five parts: one section for each season that's aired and one section for the future (because I like to end things on a hopeful note).

The playlist contains a lot of the following:

Music from movie and TV soundtracks

Instrumental music

Remixes

Classics and covers of classics

Country music. I blame Florida. My sincerest apologies.

Some of the songs were chosen because they reminded me of a certain Osblaine scene, and some of them aren't specific to particular scenes but chosen for the general Osblaine vibe. And most of the movie/TV music I chose have been used for couples that remind me of Nick and June.

Part I- Season 1, first 12 songs of the playlist:

Forbidden Love- Abel Korzeniowski, Jasper Randall, The Hollywood Studio Symphony (Romeo & Juliet)

Fireflies- Owl City

Echoes in Rain- Enya

My Ghost- Glass Pear (Bones)

Daring to Hope- Anne Dudley (Poldark)

Everytime We Touch- Cascada

1000 Times- Sara Bareilles

Too Good At Goodbyes- Sam Smith

In Case You Don't Live Forever- Ben Platt

To Find You- Cast of Sing Street, Brenock O’Connor

She- Elvis Costello (Notting Hill)

Miracle- Instrumental- Cö Shu Nie

Hanging By A Moment- Lifehouse

Commentary:

The first instrumental song IMO works as an intro for their entire love story.

The next two songs are more about having the right vibe. It's a little ambiguous and dark because that's how their life is in Gilead.

Leave my door open just a crack

Please take me away from here

'Cause I feel like such an insomniac

Please take me away from here

Why do I tire of counting sheep?

Please take me away from here

When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

***

Wait for the sun

Watching the sky

Black as a crow

Night passes by

Taking the stars

So far away

Everything flows

Here comes another new day

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

***

"My Ghost" is June's POV before they sleep together, wondering if she can trust Nick:

Who can you trust, in this place?

And whom can I put my faith?

If you're real, then show me now,

Who you are

The last two songs are for episode 1x10, for both Nick’s reaction to June’s pregnancy and the beginning of her first escape attempt (arranged by Nick).

She may be the face I can't forget The trace of pleasure or regret May be my treasure or the price I have to pay She may be the song that summer sings Maybe the chill that autumn brings Maybe a hundred different things Within the measure of a day

Part II- Season 2, next 10 songs:

Love Will Keep Us Alive- Eagles

So Easy- Phillip Phillips

Incomplete- James Bay

Rewrite the Stars- The Piano Guys (The Greatest Showman)

I’ll Be Your Shelter- Taylor Dayne

Love Never Fails- Brandon Heath

P.S. I Love You- 05:11- John Powell (P.S. I Love You)

It's A Girl- Mychel Danna (The Time Traveler's Wife)

I'll Stand By You- Josh Groban, Helene Fischer

The Miracle of Love- Eurythmics

Commentary:

The first four songs cover June’s escape attempt and the time they share at the Boston Globe.

"Incomplete" is Nick's POV from when she's on the run and he knows she'll be gone from his life soon. He lives in the moment.

I don't wanna look down

I don't want us to break up in the clouds

All I want is to stay us, to stay with you now

"I'll Be Your Shelter" is for when June's mental health is at its lowest point and he goes to Serena to beg for her to get June help.

What you need is a friend to count on

What you got baby you got someone

Who will stay when the rain is fallin'

And won't let it fall on you

P.S. I Love You takes me back to episode 2.09, Nick’s selflessness in the episode and of course the scene where after telling June that Luke loves her, he tells her that he loves her too, despite believing she probably doesn’t feel the same way.

It's A Girl makes me think of the beautiful moment they share during June's false labor when he helps her out of the van and they climb the steps together.

I’ll Stand By You is for 2.10, Nick holding June after she was heartbroken over Hannah and over what the Waterfords did to her and clinging onto him.

Part III- Season 3, next 6 songs:

Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close- Alexandre Desplat (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

All I Ask- Adele

Never Enough- Loren Allred (The Greatest Showman)

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever- Taylor Swift, ZAYN (Fifty Shades Darker)

Love is Gone- SLANDER, Dylan Matthew

Constellations- The Oh Hellos

Commentary:

For obvious reasons, it was extremely difficult to pick songs for this season.

The first (instrumental) song is for the beginning of the season with June coming back to the Waterford house and them then saying goodbye to each other on the street.

All I Ask, Never Enough, I Don't Wanna Live Forever and Love Is Gone are for their night together in June’s room at Lawrence’s (the one we didn’t get to see sigh). They know it's possible it's all they'll ever have, and they'll take it, but it'll never be enough.

I will leave my heart at the door I won't say a word They've all been said before, you know So why don't we just play pretend? Like we're not scared of what's coming next Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don't get me wrong I know there is no tomorrow All I ask is

If this is my last night with you Hold me like I'm more than just a friend Give me a memory I can use Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do It matters how this ends 'Cause what if I never love again?

***

All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it'll

Never be enough

Never be enough

***

I'm sorry, don't leave me, I want you here with me

I know that your love is gone

I can't breathe, I'm so weak, I know this isn't easy

Don't tell me that your love is gone

That your love is gone

"Constellations" is for their long separation and the doubts that I'm sure plagued them both during it. Would they ever see each other again?

Part IV- S4, next 12 songs:

All of Me- John Legend

(Everything I do) I Do It For You- Bryan Adams

Iris- Natalie Taylor (City of Angels)

She Was Like A Bright Light- Hans Zimmer, Rupert Greyson-Williams (Winter’s Tale)

Noah's Last Letter- Aaron Zigman (The Notebook)

What’s In The Middle- the bird and the bee (Bones)

ivy- Taylor Swift

Footprints in the Sand- Leona Lewis

Remember Me (Lullaby)- Gael Garcia Bernal, Gabriella Flores (Coco)

On The Nature Of Daylight- Max Richter

My Heart Will Go On- Basil Jose (Titanic)

The Story- Sara Ramirez (Grey's Anatomy)

Commentary:

There were sooo many songs I wanted to include in part IV, but I controlled myself and ended up with this particular dozen.

"She Was Like A Bright Light" and "Noah’s Last Letter" are an instrumental double punch to the gut for Nick’s time in Gilead during episodes 4.07-4.09. The first one is meant for when he finds out June made it to Canada, and the 2nd for is for when he starts to gather info on Hannah to give to June.

"What’s in the Middle" and "ivy" are June’s POV of episodes 4.07-4.09.

"What's In The Middle" has more of an angry and confused vibe, and June was definitely both in episodes 7 and 8.

Losing your head is such a common theme

All your brains are falling out, falling out the open seams

Where is the heart, is the heart of the matter

I will empty out my skull of all this useless chatter

On the other hand, "ivy" has this haunted vibe, but there's also reverence and acceptance, which she begins to achieve in episode 9.

Oh, goddamn

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Oh, I can't

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

And now I'm covered in you

The next three songs are of course all for their reunion in 4.09, and I couldn’t resist including the song that was actually played in the scene.

"The Story" draws the season to a close nicely, with June understanding that her current needs are different from what they used to be and that there’s someone who understands her completely (and it’s not Luke).

You see the smile that's on my mouth

It's hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed

They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am

And they don't know what I've been through like you do

And I was made for you

Part V- Season 5 and Beyond, the last 6 songs

Secret Love Song- Little Mix, Jason Derulo

Burn With You- Lea Michele

The Bones- Maren Morris

Feels Like Home- Auli'i Carvalho, Keegan DeWitt

Love Will Find A Way- Piano Covers (Lion King II)

Like I'll Never Love You Again- Carrie Underwood

“Secret Love Song” is a more angsty tune about a love that’s still kept a secret like June and Nick’s love (as far as most people are concerned). Now that they’ve already made out in front of the man who raped and abused June and made Nick watch him do that, I want to believe they can let go of the secrecy in S5, at least when it comes to a few people.

I'm living for that day Someday Can I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that we could be like that Why can't we it be like that? Cause I'm yours, I'm yours Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't we be like that? Wish we could be like that

***

“Bones” is about a relationship with a strong foundation, which IMO they do have. It will carry them in the future, too. They’re more into each other now than ever before and especially June is coming to terms with how strong that love is. They’ll weather any storm.

When the bones are good, the rest don't matter

Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter

Let it break 'cause you and I remain the same

When there ain't a crack in the foundation

Baby, I know any storm we're facing

Will blow right over while we stay put

The house don't fall when the bones are good

***

“Feels Like Home” is more hopeful. Their home is with each other and I hope that’s something that will be explored more in the future.

Take me, I'm ready

Go slow but go steady

To a place that we can call our own

I wanna know what feels like home

***

“Like I’ll Never Love You Again” is a good conclusion for the playlist. It’s hopeful and a testament to an epic love.

I wanna love you like the rain on a roof

Stronger than a bottle of a hundred ten proof

I wanna take love to places that love has never been

Yeah, I wanna love you like I'll never love you again

And I'll love you again

Oh, and again

[chaotictommy]

Excerpt Chapter I.

Chapter I. The Drop

“You heard Sensei...” a sigh passed through the brunette’s lips “I’ll never pass the belt test if I keep doing what I’m doing, I just won’t, he’ll fail me,” James Dean Walker Jones, affectionately known as Jimmy to friends, groaned and fell into a chair, anxiously icing his jaw where an hour previously Jimmy had come in contact with the strong heel of his sparring opponent... it was swollen, already forming the shape of a depressed and chaotic almost circle of swelling, the skin mottled yellow, blue, purple, and spots of black, an impressionist like painting spreading painfully against a backdrop of light skin “You saw him, he looked livid that I didn’t finish Peterson off when I had the chance, he was laying on the mat and I could have, but I just — I just,” Dutch threw him a beer “You shoulda done it man... punched him in the face, kicked him when he was down, it woulda cost ya nothin,” the bleached blonde muttered while inspecting the label of his beer with sudden suppressed guilt, having been the one to ask his younger brunette friend to switch sparring partners with him in the first place. Johnny sat in front of Jimmy, handing him another ice pack wrapped in a work out towel “You just need more practice, that’s all, next belt test, I promise you’ll make it, you’ll have it in the bag,” Tommy punched Jimmy’s shoulder as in some type of encouragement “Yeah, man, that or they’ll be needing a body bag to scrape you off the floor, but I washed my hands of it... I’ll write something nice at your funeral, something poetic and with imagery...”

The sandy blonde scrunched up his nose in thought before grinning “here lies Jimmy, less cute now that he’s all dead and corpsified and — ouch man don’t hit me, that hurt, and I wasn’t done...” he stepped up on a chair with his beer and raised it “My fellow Cobra Kai Brothers, today we lost one of our brother Cobras, Jimmy, in a freak karate accident,” Dutch took a swig of beer and smirked “Rip... a heel to the head ain’t a good way to go...” Bobby turned from a desk and looked over “Poor, good, kind Jimmy, what’d he ever do to anyone? Why? Why god?” He dramatically shook his fists.

Johnny snickered, sitting down as he unconsciously wrapped an arm over Jimmy’s shoulder “He’ll be missed, by all, but we can only hope that if there’s a heaven...” Jimmy rolled his eyes, shooting every one of his friends with a rarely seen death glare and cutting Johnny off, moving out awkwardly from under his arm “Stop telling everyone that I’m dead...”

Tommy cupped his ear and looked around as if he was shocked and pretended to wipe tears from his eyes “Sometimes I can still hear his voice, coming to us from beyond the grave,” Dutch grinned “Spooky” Jimmy swatted his hand “Okay, cut it out you guys... my parents keep getting random weird bouquets of flowers from austere relatives that think that I passed away suddenly, thanks for starting that rumor Tommy,” Tommy grinned “Any time man,” the two best friends glared at each other, staring each other down “I hate you... I really do,” Tommy chuckled “No, that’s not true, you absolutely love me, need me, there would be only grey clouds in your sky if I wasn’t here to give you the rainbows and everything, I’m a gem,”

“You’re a darn nuisance,” Dutch grunted out with another swig of beer, finishing it and giving his friend a smirk “But you love me...” Dutch rolled his eyes playfully “We put up with you at best...” Tommy leaned into Dutch’s space, usually combative when this happened, Dutch just shrugged as Tommy leaned closer with a grin “Cause you love me? Come on — say it Dutch, ya love me, I know ya do,” Dutch shoved him gently away playfully “Yeah, I’d love you to leave me alone, ever heard of a man’s personal space, Tommy?” “What’s that? I thought rules and stuff were meant to be broken,” Bobby rolled his eyes “Don’t send me home with these two please? I’m begging you?” He joked, Tommy pulling him up by his arm.

After that, three of the five Cobras left, leaving only Johnny and a thoroughly unhappy Jimmy, alone with their beers and separate thoughts. Johnny hunched into his red cobra jacket more, the leather feeling good against his skin, he put the bottle to his lips, intending to drink, but pulled it away so suddenly, he’d thought he’d spill “Hey, I can teach you man, teach you till you gotta take the belt test, you’ll be a black belt in no time man,” he stated coolly, wondering why his heart raced when Jimmy looked up and locked surprised eyes with his... brown... he hadn’t realized Jimmy’s eyes had so much — depth, warmth, a person could get lost in those eyes (like Johnny was at that moment) and would never wish to get out, they were brown, with — Johnny studied him and tried not to show that he was studying him, which only made it the more obvious.

His eyes were — gold, Jimmy Jones had specks of gold in his eyes, in certain lights they were almost black, in others there was a tinge of grey. Johnny suddenly found himself studying other parts of his friend, such as the waves of dark lighter chocolate hair, the way it spiraled down over his head, the way a single piece of — his throat was suddenly dry and his Adam’s apple bobbed a little as he gulped and licked his lips, when had it got hot in here? Did Jimmy know how hands— “You alright Johnny?” Jimmy’s eyes focused on Johnny’s lips, taking in the rose stained color to them, the irritatingly beautiful nibble or bite at his lower lip, before his eyes widened for the briefest moment, he then tugged himself back into reality “I I’d like that, if you’re willing to? Oh, but are you sure? We’ve got the tournament soon,” Johnny downed his beer, giving what he hoped Jimmy took as a brotherly hug and nothing more “Screw the tournament man, I already got it covered, I got all the time to help you,” and so that’s how Jimmy found himself pinned to the ground with a triumphantly smirking Johnny Lawrence on top of him.

[mattzerella-sticks]

Overprotective, Coda to 14x13 “Lebanon” (John Winchester & Castiel centric, with Dean/Cas undertones)

When John was brought back, he thought things would be like they used to with his boys. Then Mary appeared, and he knew things were better.

Except no one is like how he remembered. The clear difference is their willingness to shelter an angel on the belief that it's 'family'. John knows family, and it begins and ends with blood. What happened while he was gone. Castiel can't remember, but he clears things up for John better than anyone else can.

           John was force-fed many things after coming back to life. His father dying at the hands of a demon in the future and had not run away like his mom said. And Sammy, whose favorite catchphrase growing up was “I’m never going to be like you, dad” was now actively hunting and enjoying it. Even Mary coming back to life was easier to swallow since he knew resurrections were possible after experiencing his own. But this – what he’s staring at now – has him choking.

           Dean was adamant John couldn’t gank the creature they’ve now taken into their Bunker. Ready to thrust the blade into its non-beating heart, John ordered a disobedient Dean to stand down. His son ignored him.

           “He’s family,” Dean said.

           John scoffed. “Is that why he attacked us?”

           He didn’t answer John’s question, casting doubtful eyes at the creature behind him. The angel – Cas his son called it, Castiel the creature corrected him – glared, struggling in his handcuffs. “He’s family,” Dean repeated, “And we’re gonna figure out what happened.”

           John didn’t trust it for a second. And Castiel mirrored his feelings. Every action of Dean’s was met with resistance and hesitance, unsure why it was left alive just a little bit longer. But Dean, Sam, and Mary vouched for it. Joked with it, when they could. Dean made a passing comment that made his stomach roil. “Been meaning to get you in cuffs someday, Cas…”

           Something must have happened from placing Castiel in the back of the car and arriving at the Bunker. Sam led it down, the creature railing furiously against him, while Dean trailed behind wearing the most miserable mask John ever saw on him. He only broke those out on special occasions, like Sam leaving them for normalcy or when John confessed his deathbed deal. John wished he imagined the tear that leaked, Dean too slow to wipe it away.

           They set it up in one of the Bunker’s many dungeons. A worn, wooden chair surrounded by holy oil and fire; comforts John believes were too comfortable for the creature. Dean wouldn’t look at him as he trudged away towards the library. Sam went with, after a few minutes verbally sparring with John – ‘There’s the kid I remember raising’. He left, Mary taking the first watch over Castiel.

           His boys figured out what happened, and as were the other problems afflicting the world, it was because of him – of John coming back to life. “The timeline was messed with by bringing dad back – as if he never left. So all of our lives were changed. Ours and everyone we ever met. Us and…”

           “And Cas,” Dean finished, voice strained as if he didn’t want to do so. “Because of one stupid wish…”

           He wanted to scream, to tell his son to screw the angel; that a creature has never made the life of any Winchester better. A creature killed his father, killed his wife, damned his youngest – why feel this much over something that’s encoded to destroy their family? John grunted only half of what he was thinking. Dean turned cold, setting dead eyes on him. When he first came back they were vibrant green, like trees in the midst of spring. Now they were barren oaks suffering through a harsh winter. “You don’t know what Cas has gone through for us… with us… how much he’s changed. How much he means to me… to us.”

           Dean stormed out of the room before John could ask how much meaning there was. He confronted Sam about it. “They’ve always had this,” he shrugged, “What did Cas call it…? A ‘profound bond’; they’re connected, and always have been since Cas rescued Dean from hell… except now he didn’t, in this timeline, so…”

           Mary was less helpful. “I had my doubts at first, but you’ve never seen the real Castiel. Watched him with our boys… with Dean. Maybe you can, if they can figure out to fix the timeline and keep you here. Then you’ll understand.” She kissed him on his cheek, leaving to relieve Dean of his post.

           There was more to the story John wasn’t seeing. And it was made exponentially confusing when he found Dean’s legal pad in the library. He just missed him, his computer still warm and papers strewn everywhere. Trying to show he was ready to be civil, he started cleaning. Written in Dean’s tiny scrawl was a list of people with their names crossed off, little blurbs written next to them.

           Charlie Bradbury – owns her own startup.

           Kevin Tran – graduated Princeton, valedictorian, NEVER PROPHET

           Jody Mills – still sheriff

           Donna Hanscum – still sheriff

           Bobby Singer – still dead

           Ellen Harvelle – dead

           Jo Harvelle – hunter; wanted

           Ash – freakin’ NASA

           Garth – arrested; poor guy

           Claire Novak – MISSING

           Jack – gone…

           CAS

           The tearstains around the creature’s name mocked him. Evidence of the disruption his reappearance caused his oldest son; the conflict warring inside Dean, the casualties all written out for John to see. Having proof of what his act of coming back did to the world, John understood the course he had to take. Saw the road signs telling him to turn off the highway in a few miles.

           Hearing Dean’s footsteps, John scurried away, dropping his list. There were other things for him to do; that needed to be done if this all ended like he was expecting it to.

           Mary wouldn’t leave them alone easily, which he anticipated. But John knew her, and waited for her bladder to give out like any middle-aged mother of two. When she told him she’d be back in less than two minutes, he nodded. Then, when he was sure Mary was far enough away, he locked the door.

           Leaving him alone with Castiel.

           “If you’re going to kill me, then by all means,” it said, “I’m getting rather tired of this.”

           “I’d like that,” John told him, “Nothing would make me happier to stick an angel blade where the sun don’t shine and watch the life drain out of you. But that wouldn’t solve anything…”

           Castiel tilted his head, squinting. “Are you under the delusion that you can get me to ‘remember’ as well?”

           “No, I know you won’t recall anything they’re asking.”

           It sighed. “I wish the others were more like you. Straightforward, cruel… everything we expected of humans. But they… they are so muddled.”

           John’s interest piqued. He stalked closer. “Muddled?”

           “It’s… how do I explain,” Castiel said, “humans give off these wavelengths that angels can pick up on. All the ones that stood guard over me, their minds were clouded with so many… feelings and opinions. And what was surprising was that many of them were about me. About things I have never experienced. The woman tried using kindness, the tallest one joked, but it was the one called Dean…”

           John frowned. “What about my boy?”

           “His longing was the strongest,” Castiel confessed, “the most confusing. So many feelings poured over me every time he entered the room – even now I feel their trace, through the thick, most likely protected walls in my prison. There was so much longing… angels are used to channeling it, but to be the cause, the center, the drive of such emotion is unheard of. It hurt. Being exposed to it for long periods of time, like in that car, caused me great pains! So I –“

           “What did you do?”

           “I shouted at him to stop! That he was out of his depth – living a fabricated lie! Angels know everything, are all-powerful. We’ve seen creation through from the very beginning; have shone in the light of God, himself. Why would they sacrifice that for humans? Why would I turn against everything I knew for one man? Angels are made to serve God not humans – not him. We’re weapons. We have no thought of friendship or love. To love a human would debase ourselves, making us no better than you.”

           Mary banged at the door, begging him to let her in and stop whatever he has planned. He can’t though. John slammed his foot on the gas pedal and hurdled down towards that shiny tunnel. Castiel confirmed a lot in his little tirade. Things John wasn’t willing to accept at first. That differed from the boys he knew and raised.

           ‘But they aren’t who I know anymore,’ he realized, ‘and honestly… I never raised them.’ He impacted their decisions like a heavy shadow hanging over them. But the qualities he saw in his boys now were nothing John had in stock. His sons became better men than him, and any choice they made was right because it was the exact opposite decision he would have come to.

           Overcome with guilt for the first time, John cried.

           Castiel shot him a withered glance. “Of course… you go and become muddled as well.”

           Wiping away the tears, John kneeled down to face Castiel at eye-level. “Listen up,” he started, “I’m only going to say this once. Now, when things get put back right, you might not remember this. Or maybe you will… who knows. Either way, I have to say this, to make things right with my boys.”

           “I don’t know why you’re so important to them, why they let a creature like you become their friend, or why my son decided to fall in love with you even though you’re clearly wearing a man like a cheap suit. And I might never know, because I don’t deserve it. The man who did, he died years ago in a fire up in Lawrence. All that was left for them was a burnt out husk of a man with nothing fueling him for revenge. Figured my boys were nothing but the same. You’re so damn lucky that’s not true.”

           He’s just a man, but it’s clear to him the terror he struck within Castiel. John continued. “I can’t wipe away all my sins, but I can try asking for forgiveness where it counts. Then maybe I’ll deserve that peace I had. But you – you’ll be here with my family. And all I can say… all I ask… is you watch over them.”

           “…What?”

           “Do what I couldn’t do for them. Protect them, show them each day that not every creature is past saving. Keep ‘em tied to their humanity.”

           “I don’t know what you are –“

           “And show Dean the love he deserves,” he whispered back, “Some nights, even back before I died, I did wonder if I robbed him of a normal life. Broke him, and that he could never work right. That’d haunt me almost as bad as Mary’s death and Sam’s affliction whenever the booze ran out. Castiel you performed a miracle and gave him a second chance. I can’t be selfish anymore. I’ve had my shot at happiness… it’s about time he has his. That they all did.”

           “This makes no sense,” Castiel shouted, fighting his chains, “Your prayers… so much grief and guilt… I can’t –“ It carried on like that, even as he spun around to leave. John opened the door.

           Mary barreled in. Eyeing a distraught Castiel, she turned to him. “What did you do?”

           “Casti… Cas and I shared a few words,” he said, “I’m gonna go speak to the boys. And Mary?”

           “Yes, John.”

           “I… I love you.” He dropped a kiss onto her, a gentle brush of their lips before slipping out into the hallway.

           He saved her for last, their goodbye too painful he wouldn’t finish what he had to if he began it there. John still had loose strings to tie up before the fabric of reality was corrected. And he had to work fast so that it wouldn’t completely unravel by the time hew as done. The world asked of him one last time, to prove that there was no one left on it that truly needed him.

           His boys were waiting. Mary was waiting. And so was his Heaven.

[robronsecretvalentine]

The Latest Scheme

Secret Valentine’s Day Gift for @prettyboysugden

Happy Valentine’s Day Lucy!

The Latest Scheme

Aaron was very frustrated. He had spent most of the afternoon trying to pick a car apart when he realized that there were actually working parts in good condition still on the car. He then had to be careful stripping the car and that had taken longer than usual and he still had another car to strip. He needed to finish this today as the pick-up for them was tomorrow. Adam had scoffed off earlier under the pretense of “needing some time to work on his relationship with Vic” which was mostly him grovelling to Victoria for his latest misstep.

He was hunched under the hood as he heard footsteps on the gravel leading up to the scrapyard. At this time and the way the person was walking, it could only be one person. Well that was it for the cars. They couldn’t be finished by tomorrow and Adam was going to have to take them himself the day after and moan about it. He knew whatever he was here for at this time, it would not end well for Aaron.

He braced himself as he continued to work. At least he could pretend to resist the newest scheme for a bit longer. Who knew if he played his cards right he might even get him to help with the cars!

“I bought you coffee and a scone. Wanted to bring you cake, but there was only one slice left and I wanted that so you have to do with the scone I’m afraid.” Robert said.

Oh this was bad. Aaron definitely needed a lawyer for this if he was being offered coffee and scone for free on a Wednesday afternoon.

“No. I’m not doing it. Whatever it is this time. I am not breaking into you ex-fiancé’s home to steal her dad’s old dirty love letters or breaking into the safe to get his will, and I am definitely not impersonating a millionaire to steal his clients. I am done with your schemes to take over Home Farm. At this rate I will either end up back in prison or killed by that nut-job Lachlan!” his voice raised as he turned to Robert. By the end he was shrieking.  

“Calm down, will ya? I am not asking you anything you paranoid freak! Can’t I just bring my best mate in the whole wide world a coffee and a pastry?” Robert said teasingly with a smirk that Aaron knew meant death and destruction was on the way. He knew his friend well.

He took the coffee and the scone from Robert suspiciously. They both leaned against the half striped car. The truth was that his friendship with Robert had taken him by surprise. Almost one year ago, the two of them had found their ways separately back to Emmerdale. A series of bad decisions and even worst consequences had resulted in their first “meeting”.

Aaron shouldn’t have been surprised on how often they got into schemes together. Criminal activity and misdemeanor was the foundation of their friendship. What was surprising that after accepting a coffee from Robert and a drink on a night out, they had hit it off immediately. Their bickering and Aaron’s temporary absence of “best friend” had resulted in them becoming fast friends. It was a mutually satisfying friendship.

Aaron had convinced Robert to tell Chrissie the truth about his feelings or lack thereof for her and break off the engagement after Lawrence threatened him yet again. Robert however, had taken his advice and blackmailed Lawrence; he would break if off with her, if Lawrence had made him a shareholder in the business. Obviously Lawrence had refused. This was how Robert had come up with the brilliant idea to steal old photographs and love letters of previous lovers that proved Chrissie might not be Lawrence’s biological daughter. Obviously he couldn’t get his own hands dirty and who did he know who could do it? Aaron obviously. That is how Robert ended up a silent partner in Lawrence’s business, the main investor in Holy Scrap (as a thank you to Aaron for his hard work), Diddy Diner (because he was capable of caring for his family, thank you very much), and as of last month, an equal partner in Home James Haulage.

Robert’s interest in Home Farm was no longer necessary but as he was a grade “A” control freak and couldn’t let anything go if he could make more money out of it, he sometime still screwed with Lawrence. Aaron thought it was out of boredom mainly.

Now the reason Aaron was involved, or at least how he justified it in his own mind, was that he was a great friend. Case in point, Adam and how many times he had saved him. Aaron was ride or die for all his friends. That is what Aaron told himself and Chas and Paddy whenever they questioned his friendship with Robert. The truth though, was a bit different.

Aaron was totally in love with Robert. If he was honest with himself, he was insanely attracted to him from the first time he saw him and if Robert would show any indication that he might be interested, Aaron would confess his feelings on the spot. However, he knew Robert was straight. Aaron put it down as another case of unrequited love for best friend. God knows he already had the experience with Adam when they were kids, and as that experience had taught him, he would soon get over his feelings for him and instead become amazing friends. If he could only stop staring at Robert’s lips as he was sipping his Americano, then he would be fine. God those lips were just begging to be kissed.

“So, there is something I need to tell you.” Robert said in a very suspiciously casual manner.

“I knew it! You want me to do something stupid. Why can’t you just enjoy what you have right now and don’t do anything stupid to ruin it?”

“Well because, Azza, I am not someone who can do that and anyway, you wouldn’t like me if I was!”

“Who says I like you?”

“Well you’re still here. And might I add that in all of our shared endeavors, I didn’t really have to persuade you. You could have said no anytime. You are just as bad as me!” Robert said with his signature smug face. God, Aaron could just slap him. Or kiss him. Whichever that would wipe that smugness off his face.

“So go on. What is the price for this coffee that I have to pay? Are we breaking into a bank? Or perhaps organizing a hit?” Aaron said as he continued to sip his coffee.

“Don’t be so dramatic, you dolt! It’s nothing illegal. And certainly nothing that would get us in trouble. So you know that Chrissie has a sister, right?”

Aaron nodded. He knew that when they discovered that Chrissie was not Lawrence’s biological daughter, Lawrence had done anything to keep that information away from his daughters, especially Rebecca, as he was certain that would cause a rift between his daughters.

“Yeah. So?” Said Aaron.

“Well, what you don’t know is that before I got engaged to Chrissie, Rebecca and I used to fool around. It got more serious with Chrissie so I ended it with Rebecca. She didn’t have access to Lawrence as Chrissie did. She stayed away after that until she heard me and Chrissie are done. Now she is coming back. And the thing is that she never really got over me.” Robert said as if he was proud of the fact that someone had difficulty getting over him. Aaron could sympathize.

“So what? You want to blackmail Lawrence some more now? Give me money or I’ll tell your daughter sort of thing?” Aaron said grumpily. He knew Robert had flaws. He would even concede that Robert wasn’t going to win the best person award, but sometimes he wished he had a little bit if decency and not think of money and power all the time. It made Aaron more conflicted inside. He was best fiends (and maybe, sort of, kind of, a little bit, in love) with someone who didn’t bat an eye at blackmailing and emotional manipulation. Well, C’est la vie.

“No you idiot. I’m done with them. It’s actually the opposite of that. See Rebecca texted me a few days ago to let me know she was coming and I quote “so we could finally be together properly” and I don’t want that life anymore. So what I need is something else.” Robert said. Strange thing was he kept his eyes down. It was the first time that Aaron had seen him like this. It was as if like he was almost shy about what he was about to ask.

“Spit it out then!” Aaron said impatiently.

Robert took a deep breath and blurted “willyoubemyfakeboyfrienduntilshegoesaway?”

“You what?”

“Will you be my fake boyfriend until she goes away?” Robert repeated slower this time.

Aaron was gobsmacked. On one hand that was the most outrageous request he had ever heard and he just wanted to laugh out loud. On the other hand, this was the plot of one of his many fantasies which normally ended with him under Robert. He didn’t know to laugh or to cry. His lack of response must have alerted Robert.

“Look you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. It was just an idea. If she thinks that she has a chance with me, she will make my life hell until I give in and play her game which is basically torturing her sister and I don’t want to be dragged into another sibling drama.” Robert said.

Aaron composed himself enough to ask “but you are okay with everyone assuming you are gay?”

“Well, bisexual actually. And this way I can finally come out to my family as well. Killing two birds with one stone and all.”

“I’m sorry; did you just come out to me?” Aaron asked. He was completely confused. Did that mean he had a chance with Robert? Did it mean that Robert was available to him? But wait a minute, if he was, then did it mean that Robert didn’t like Aaron that way as he hadn’t come on to him. Robert wasn’t shy. If he liked someone he would just tell them. So that meant that he didn’t fancy Aaron. Universe had a cruel sense of humor when it came to Aaron.

“To be honest I thought you knew. Well at least we know you have a rubbish gaydar!” Robert had the audacity to say!

“So what? You thought a little romance with the local gay will get the woman to back off? And why does it have to be me? I mean Finn would be a more believable option for you. I mean he is prettier and he hangs on every word you say. So why not ask him?”

“Well Finn isn’t really my type!”

“And what, I am?” Aaron was hysteric now.

“Well yeah! I mean have you seen you?? You are fit and hot and very very sexy without even realizing it! I mean every time we walk into a bar, I am surprised that men don’t just pounce on you!” Robert said with an animated voice. Aaron was speechless. Did Robert just say he was sexy?

“Look forget it. It was a stupid idea. You clearly aren’t comfortable with it. Just forget about it.” Robert said while avoiding looking at Aaron.

“So are we on tonight to watch the game? Is Adam coming as well? I can make some snacks if you wanted to come earlier” Robert changed the subject.

Aaron cleared his throat. He couldn’t believe what just had happened. Robert seemed to be embarrassed by his accidental confession and clearly didn’t want to talk about it. Aaron suddenly felt shy as well. He never was good at taking compliments. And he didn’t know if Robert was complimenting him or coming on to him. He decided to play along with Robert’s deflection.

“Yeah, yeah. Adam said he would bring the beer. I can bring some crisps if you want. Say 5 ish?”

“No need. I will be making fish and chips. Just come by 5 and we’ll be all set.”

After a few awkward moments of silence, Robert chugged down the rest of his coffee, nodded his head and left the scrapyard.

Aaron could not move. He was sure that drool was falling down his face as he was unable to close his mouth. He was having an out of body experience. There was no way that Robert bleeding Sugden was attracted to him.

But it seemed that he was. He actually came out to Aaron and admitted that he found him attractive at the same time. It was as if someone had figured out all of Aaron’s deepest desires and had made them come true. So did that mean that he wanted to be Aaron? Surely he would have said something if he did. Instead, he had changed the subject and left. Perhaps Robert wasn’t ready and Aaron could respect that. He would follow Robert’s lead and act as if nothing had happened.

He would definitely do that as soon has his heart stopped hammering in his chest! He needed some time to calm down first!

Tonight was a game night. It had become a semi-usual event that Aaron and Adam would go to Robert’s place a couple of times a week for watching football and playing games or watching films on Robert’s giant TV. If Andy and Robert were on speaking terms that week, he would sometimes join them.

For some reason, Aaron put extra effort into getting ready. He then felt foolish for taking extra time because it was just their usual football night. Nothing more.

He finally decided on his usual black jeans and black hoody. But in the off chance that the universe wasn’t fucking with him, he put on his green sweater under the hoody. He felt ridiculous. There was no way that Robert wanted him.

A few hours later, he was completely convinced Robert wanted him.

It all started as soon as he got there with Adam. From the first moment, there was a charged feeling between them. It got so bad that even clueless Adam knew was something out of ordinary. Aaron was extra aware of Robert and he was trying so hard to not to be obvious that it was painful. During the game, Adam kept looking between them suspiciously. When Robert went to the kitchen to grab more beers, Adam finally snapped.

“Hey, what’s the matter with you two? Have you had fight or something?”

“What? No! Of course not!”

“Then what’s with the weird looks?”

“There are no weird looks! Shut up Adam!”

But when Robert came back Aaron turned red and turned away to look at the telly.

After the game, Adam was tired of both of them acting so strange, when Robert had gone to the loo, he ditched Aaron.

Robert came down the stairs a few minutes later. He froze on the doorway when he realized it was just him and Aaron.

“Where’s Adam?” he asked.

“Oh he just left.” Aaron was trying to sound casual.

Robert nodded his head and came to sit on the other side of the couch that Aaron was sitting.

“Another beer?” he offered.

“Nah you’re alright. I have to work early tomorrow and I don’t wanna be hungover.”

“So… fancy a movie? Or we could play some Fifa if you wanted?”

“What I want is you.” Aaron heard himself say. Fuuuuuuuuuck. Did he just say that out loud?! Judging by the way that Robert’s eyes widened and his face went red, it was safe to assume that yes, Aaron had said that out loud.

“I mean …. Not that… I mean I want to …. Look, just uhm…. Could you forget I said that?” Aaron spluttered. He was an idiot.

“uhm… how… why… really?” Robert said in reply. He didn’t seem repulsed by the idea. Aaron decided to take a chance. He had already ruined everything. What was a little love confession between friends?

“Yeah. I mean I do fancy ya. I mean more than fancy… like sort of kinda inloveish … yeah?” Aaron was hoping for a lighting strike or a giant hole in ground to swallow him so he could escape this utter humiliation.

Robert was silent for several excruciating moments. Enough to trigger Aaron’s fight and flight response. And since this was Robert, Aaron chose flight.

“So I guess I will be going. No need to you know say anything. And I guess I will see you around. Or not if you know, you don’t. So uhm. Yeah. Sorry. And thanks for you know. Yeah. Sorry.” Aaron said as he was pulling on his hoody and retreating to the front door. As he was about to open the door a pair of strong arms caught his arm and shoulder and turned him around.

Before he could say anything, Robert pressed him against the wall by the end of the stairs. His face was inches away from Aaron’s and he was directly looking at his eyes. Aaron held his breath. This was the look that had made him fall in love with him in the first place. The green eyes with such intensity, directing all of his attention towards Aaron. The heavy breathing and his parted lips was setting Aaron’s body on fire.

Robert finally broke the spell and looked at Aaron’s mouth.

“How do you know that you love me?”

It took all of Aaron’s strength to form a response.

“Because you are all I think about and every time I see you, it feels as if my heart wants to jump out of my chest.” Aaron said, without skipping a beat, looking directly at Robert’s eyes. The time for shyness and hiding was over. He had laid his heart to Robert. It was up to him to either take it or break it.

Robert was blushing which made his freckles more noticeable Aaron wanted to kiss all of them.

Robert took a step back. His face was unreadable. He had finally made a decision. He reached out with his hands and took Aaron’s hands in his. He brought one to his lips and kissed the back of his hand. He then looked at Aaron and smiled.

“You know?”

“I know.”

There was no more words needed. Robert didn’t let go of his hands as he took him upstairs. Aaron didn’t think he would ever stop smiling.

Later as Robert’s head was cradled between Aaron’s neck and shoulder and they were catching their breath, Aaron remembered something from earlier.

“So does that mean when you tell the Whites that you have a boyfriend, then it won’t be a scam anymore?” Aaron said as he was playing with Robert’s fingers.

“Is that your way of asking if I want to call us boyfriends?” Robert said while smiling into Aaron’s shoulder.

“Maybe”

“Hmmm, well I have a small confession to make. When Rebecca called before, I already told her I wasn’t interested and I was seeing someone else.” Robert said.

“Hang on a minute, so this morning, what was that? You trying to get in my pants by using a scam as an excuse?”

Robert lifted his head and looked at Aaron apologetically.

“Well, I wanted to ask you out but I didn’t know how to do it. I’m sorry.” He seemed genuinely upset.

Aaron looked at him with a frown for a second before deciding to put him out of his misery. He then cracked a mischievous smile which prompted Robert to bite his chin.

“Ow! Stop it you muppet!” Aaron pretended he was hurt. Robert bent his head and kissed him where he had bitten him. He then turned to Aaron’s lips and they were both busy to think about anything else for a while.

“So what’s the latest scheme then, if not blackmailing the Whites?” Aaron said the next morning as he was drinking the coffee that Robert had just made. Robert turned around from the stove as he was making their breakfast. He was only in a t-shirt and underwear. He looked good enough to eat!

“Well, to be honest I am sort of bored with the Whites. But the other day I heard something particularly interesting that I think it would be an amazing thing to do with my brand new boyfriend.” He responded with a glint in his eyes. Aaron knew instantly that this was going to be one of those schemes that would either get them arrested or in feud with the locals. God he loved this man!

“Alright, let’s hear what am I going to go to prison for this time.” He already knew he would do it no matter what.

“Hey I resent the implication that I would risk my boyfriend getting caught.” Robert protested.

“Soft lad. Go on, let’s hear it.”

“How do you feel about puppies? Specifically how do you feel about messing with a couple of puppy breeders and potentially having to take over a breeding operation?”

Yup, he was in trouble alright.

[tinypeckers]

What crime does on its day off (1/?)

Pairing(s): AH OT6 (JeremyxRyanxGeoffxJackxGavinxMichael), Killems (ElysexAdamxJames)

Words: 2,181

AO3

Summary: The Fake AH Crew retreat after their failed heist and the do the only thing they can do:Indulge Jeremy and embrace their tourist status. (Now with added Funhaus!)

A/N: Co-Written with @forensicbec

The Fake AH Crew shoved their way through crowds of people as they emerged from London Bridge station. Geoff had his arm around Jack’s shoulders, mumbling to her about how the plan should have worked if only they’d just blended in. Jack gestured to the rest of crew. They were each wearing their own “I heart London” sweaters, with the exception of Ryan who hung back desperately trying to rub off the Union Jack face paint Jeremy had given him in his sleep.

“Well, at least we’re blending in now,” Jack said. Geoff rolled his eyes and muttered something about how it doesn’t matter now.

“Why’re we here? London Bridge is naff,” Gavin knocked shoulders with a commuter desperately trying to enter the overcrowded station. Jeremy linked their arms together and pulled Gavin close,

“Because we’re in London and it’s a bridge, y’know, of London,”

“If it was so important, why did we go to five other stations beforehand?” Michael said.

“How was I supposed to know that there wasn’t an elephant or a castle. At least this one actually has a bridge.”

“But it is literally just a bridge!” Gavin’s head fell back against his shoulders.

 “Ah, but it’s not just a bridge,” said a gentleman dressed as the grim reaper. Michael had only seconds to think before he had an armful of Gavin Free.

“Flippin’ heck,” Gavin cursed. The actor in front of them smirked at the response he’d elicited. Michael glared at his boyfriend but kept a firm grip as the actor stepped closer to their group.

“The London Bridge has been around for many years and it’s filled with dark secrets of war, fire and even death!” The actor leaned further forward. Ryan only snorted.

“Sounds like a Tuesday,” he said. The actor raised an eyebrow at him but pressed on,

“You can take a trip through time and learn all of the gruesome details at the London Bridge Experience,” the actor continued. Jeremy sucked in a breath, ready to turn to Geoff and beg to go. Before even one word could tumble from his lips, Geoff sighed.

“Fine,” he said.

 The actor perked up and pushed a leaflet into Geoff’s hands.

“If you look behind me you’ll see the box office, where you can pick up your tickets. They’ll give you directions to the attraction but be warned – it’s scaAaAaAry.” The actor waggled their fingers and smiled at the group. Geoff simply pushed past him, leading Jack and the rest of his crew across the street. Ryan stopped by the actor, glaring down at him through streaks of red, white and blue.

“Are there any stairs?” Ryan asked. The actor swallowed and slowly shook his head. Ryan suddenly beamed, patting the man on the shoulder and briskly walking to catch up to the others. On the other side, Michael finally dropped Gavin down onto the ground.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Geoff? We all know how much of a scaredy-cat you can be.” Michael nudged his boss’ arm with the most devilish grin painted upon his face.

“I’m fine, I’m the biggest crime boss in Los Santos I’m not going to lose it because of a shitty attract-“

 Geoff shrieked the end of his sentence as a woman popped up from behind the counter.

“’Ello loves, how can I help you?” She didn’t seem to notice the pamphlet shaking in Geoff’s hands.

Under his breath Jeremy whispered,

“Oh my god, she sounds like Gavin.” Gavin slapped the back of his hand, scowling down at the small little smile Jeremy graced him with in return.

“We’d like to get tickets to the London Bridge Experience please,” Jack pushed Geoff out of the way to lean on the counter.

“Of course my loves, what time?” The woman’s fingers tapped over a keyboard.

“Oh, well, let me check,” Jack looked down at the new sparkly watch Geoff had bought her just yesterday that matched her new earrings. “It’s 11am,” she said. The woman looked back, puzzled.

“Yes, I know but what time would you like to take the tour?” She asked. Jack’s mouth opened in realisation. She let herself laugh at her own stupidity as Geoff cackled in the background. He choked on his laughter after a swift heel to the nuts.

“When’s the next tour?” Jack smiled sweetly as if she hadn’t castrated her own boyfriend. The woman before her chose to ignore it but the slight smirk on her lips suggested she saw.

 “Oh, it’s actually in about fifteen minutes. Would you like to buy tickets to that one?” Jack nodded at the lady. The faster they did this the faster Jeremy would shut up. “Well, for six of you it will cost £19.99 per person, so it will cost £119.70 for your whole group.” Behind Jack, Geoff mouthed the price and grabbed Jack’s wrist for support. The lady continued, “you can also opt for the ultra fast pass which includes a personalised gift and souvenir for only £30.00 more per person!” Jeremy turned to Geoff, his eyes wide and already watering as he prepared the longest, most affectionate declaration of love in an attempt to get their boss to agree. Geoff didn’t wait to hear it and with one shake of the head, it was decided.

“We’ll just take the normal tickets please,” Jack said. The woman started to tell them about some other offers they could take but she was shot down.

“Okay, the final price is £119.70 then for your whole group,” she beamed.

 Geoff was having trouble breathing as Jack pulled out his credit card to pay for it all. Gavin, in an effort to make up for yesterday’s disaster, nudged Jack out of the way.

“Well love,” Gavin pulled his golden glasses down just slightly so that she could see his dazzling eyes, “’m sure that you could give us a better deal than that, knock off a few bob for us,” Gavin purred.

“Bloody Americans, always mocking us,” she muttered before composing herself, “No, sorry. This is the best deal I can give you.” Gavin stumbled backwards into Michael’s arms. Michael looked down at him as Gavin stared straight up and looked right through him.

“Are you alright there Gav?” Michael tried to get him stand upright. Gavin lay limp in his arms.

“S-S-She called me American,” Gavin spat.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?” Michael glanced towards Jack as she collected their tickets.

“It’s the worst thing she could call me Michael!”

“Fuck you,” Michael dropped his boyfriend.

 Jack turned around at that point and raised an eyebrow as Gavin sat up and rubbed his arse.

“Michael, Gavin – stop fighting or you’ll have to go back to the hotel,” Jack said.

“Oh thank god,” Michael turned on his heel, ready to leave. Jeremy snatched up his hand and held him back. He dragged Michael along behind Jack as she led the way to the attraction’s entrance.

“It’ll be fun, Michael,” Jeremy reassured but Michael wasn’t convinced. If only there had been an elephant and a castle, they wouldn’t have to drag Geoff around the scary attraction.

“Yeah, Michael it’ll be fun,” Gavin prodded Michael’s shoulder. Michael shook him off.

“I give it five minutes until you’ve wet your pants, Ryan’s punched an actor and Geoff’s on a plane back to Los Santos,” Michael said.

“I’m not scared Michael,” Gavin said.

 Under the bridge, where the attraction’s entrance lay, they were greeted with some eerie children’s rhyme. Michael didn’t miss the way Gavin suddenly took a hold of his hand, squeezing just slightly as the music grew louder. Geoff was actively trying to pull away from Jack, muttering “no, no, no,” underneath his breath. Jeremy dropped Michael’s hand to grab Ryan’s instead and the pair danced along to the eerie tune. At the entrance, Geoff’s protests picked up and he was leaning away from Jack with all of his might.

“Geoff you can do this, it’s just a tour. You’re the biggest crime boss in Los Santos, remember?” Jack said. Geoff shook his head wildly side to side.

“That doesn’t matter here Jack, that man said it was gonna be scAaAaAry and you and I know, I don’t do scary.” Jack shoved him inside, moving him towards the ticket booth. She glanced backwards to check they were all still there.

 Gavin and Jack boxed Geoff in and kept him in one place as Jack handed their tickets over.

“Oh, looks like we’ve got two big groups going on this tour today. That’s good, less of a chance you’ll get picked, eh.” The teenager behind the ticket booth said. Jack nodded, thankful that Geoff stood a chance at surviving the tour. She pushed him through the turnstile and instantly regretted it.

“Jack, Jack – what the fuck is that? Why is it looking at me?” Geoff tried to run past her and back through the turnstile but Jack stood firm and pushed him forward.

“It’s just a puppet Geoff, it can’t hurt you. It’s not going to hurt you,” Jack said though even she shivered as she walked past it. Gavin buried his head in Michael’s shoulder as they walked through. Jeremy admired the puppet and pointed it out to Ryan. Ryan smiled at it.

“So where’s this other group then,” Michael said as he leaned against the wall. Gavin tucked himself against his side, “I bet they’ve chickened out.”

 Barely seconds after the accusation had left his lips, their ears perked up as the other group entered.

“Did we all make it? Let’s see: Elyse, James, Lawrence, Bruce, Peake? Where’s Peake?” Adam cupped his hands over his mouth yelling, “Peake!”

“I’m here, I’m here,” Peake stepped past James and Elyse so that Adam could see him.

“Oh thank god, I thought we’d lost you,” Adam wrapped his arms around Peake’s shoulders and pulled him close. The teenager in the ticket booth cleared his throat,

“Could I see your tickets, sir?” He asked. Adam pulled away from Peake and clapped his hands together.

“Of course…” Adam looked at Elyse, “tickets?” The blonde woman shook her head.

“Not me, I thought Bruce had them,” she looked up at Bruce who threw both hands to the side and shrugged.

“I thought James had them,” Bruce said but even James shook his head and pat down his pockets.

“Here,” Peake slipped the teenager their tickets.

 They eventually made it through the turnstile and Adam walked backwards as he explained to his crew that this was the best thing that they could do since their plans had fallen through.

“Look, we’re criminals in England with nothing to do, we might as well blend in and do touristy things,” He almost tripped over his own foot as he tried to follow the winding path of the queue.

“You’re not doing a very good job of it, look at you, you look like shit!” Geoff jabbed an accusing finger in their rival crew’s direction. Adam shrieked and fell backwards, toppling into Michael’s unwilling arms. The Jersey man groaned as he pushed Adam off of him.

“Seriously? Is this how it’s gonna be?”

 “What are you guys doing here?” Elyse grabbed Jack’s hand and kissed her knuckles, “nice earrings!” Jack pushed her earlobe forward to give Elyse a better look.

“Michael got them for me at the Tower of London, aren’t they beautiful?” Jack said. James rubbed circles around Adam’s back, whispering reassurances into his boyfriend’s ear.

“Tower of London? We were going to head there to steal the crown jewels but it’s been on lock down since yesterday,” Bruce said. Jack quickly glanced towards the teenager in the ticket booth but was relieved to see he’d slipped some earphones in.

“Yeah, well, it’s because we were there to steal the crown jewels.” Geoff puffed up his chest.

“Oh cool, did you get them?” Bruce raised his eyebrow in Geoff’s direction. Geoff deflated.

“No because Gavin just had to have some stupid golden gun.”

“Ah, well, we’ll get them next time.” Bruce smirked.

“Shame we didn’t get to go though, I quite enjoy all that historical stuff,” Lawrence said.

 It was like a switch had been flipped and suddenly Jeremy was upon him, jumping up and down on the spot as he pulled out Michael’s phone.

“Aw man, you missed out – it was so, so awesome like there was a gun dragon, a gun dragon! And, and like, I watched this thing right, you’ll never believe who managed to breach the tower.” Lawrence listened with the occasional nod, entranced by Jeremy’s re-enactment of the day. His boyfriends were less enthused and at times, Ryan mouthed along with Jeremy’s words as he knew the account by heart. Before Jeremy could explain how badly their heist had failed, the tour guide had come to collect them. She slunk through the shadows and then suddenly appeared. As Geoff and Adam screamed in unison, Michael found himself once again carrying Gavin.

“You’ve got to stop this, dude,” Michael said. Still, he carried Gavin through to the next room.

[dinglesugden-af]

Honestly I think this baby is Adams through and through and I'll never change my mind on that. The way vadam wanting a baby ties in so much with rebecca. First of all their baby story started AFTER rebecca had come into the show. But after that completely ended up being forgotten about. Their baby storyline only started up again once rebecca was pregnant and each time something's happened their baby storyline kicks off again. Why have Adam find the test? Wouldn't it of made more sense for Robert or Ross to find it? Considering they were the only ones it could of been? They decided to go for fertility tests AFTER rebecca had given birth. Why not before? Their marriage literally ended because of this fertility thing but the doctor did say adam needed more tests which he never went for. Doctors aren't always 100% and one fertility test doesn't mean you're firing blanks. You need more information. Throughout this whole storyline victoria has been so pally with Rebecca which is baffling. She never even liked rebecca or acknowledged her. She hated the whites but since the pregnancy seems to have forgotten what they did to andy. At first adam was on roberts side 100% and even he saw Rebecca having vic wrapped round her little finger but all of a sudden changed. Yes Aaron self harmed and he knew but he changed his attitude towards rebecca. He was sat having a drink with her. Why has he never acknowledged the fact she slept with his best mates husband? Vadam got back together just as another baby is born. Their adoption storyline starting up just as Rebecca's about to give birth. When rebecca came back out of all people why go to Victoria? The woman desperate for a child? The supposed auntie? If you didn't want robert involved why go to a member of his family for help? Why did she have to go for the scan? Your sister was supporting you. Your dad even left messages confirming he was supporting you. Why go from "I'm doing it on my terms" to "I want to put you on the birth certificate". Since Roberts been doing his scheming victorias sort of took a step back but now she's about to give birth she's back heavily involved again. I honestly think rebecca has planned this whole thing. If she really didn't want this to cause trouble she wouldn't of flaunted this pregnancy. Everytime something happens either vic or aarons there. The miscarriage scare? Vic was there but it was aaron who got the phone call. The scan? She flaunted it in the pub but aaron was there. The second scan? Her care breaks down aaron tries to fix it persuades Robert to take her. She goes into labour? Aaron's there. Aaron's a mechanic. He doesn't need to drive the car to find out what's wrong with. That's just completely stupid. There's been so many hints robert isn't the dad and I still stick by that. Surely when robron reunite the biggest thing would be to question coparenting and how aaron would come round to the baby? But there's literally been 0 mention of that. Normally in soaps when they do this they don't keep the couple broken up till after the birth. They reunite them then the struggles start. Victoria has been far too heavily involved in this storyline for her to just be an auntie. When has she ever obsessed over jack and sarah?? It coming out adam was he dad would be perfect. I don't know how adam would leave but surely Victoria would need to hate him to not end up going with him? If he gets framed for Emma's murder I don't see aaron allowing him to go on the run. He didn't even want andy on the run and didn't get involved with it till it was too late. Victoria? She would never believe that or allow him to go on the run after the andy situation. Why would she stay and just leave him to run for the rest of his life? Kirin Andy and Rakesh all went on the run in the space of a year they surely don't need another? Adam has a business a mum a bestmate and a wife. For him to leave that behind them he would surely not be wanted at either place for that to happen. Moira will have her own focus with the post natal depression but there's more to his exit and I think this will be it. It broke aaron. It broke his marriage. Adam will leave because he's lost everything and sees no way back and not one person will be sad to see him go apart from moira. Surely for him to leave everything behind something big will happen for Victoria to stay. I'm 100% convinced either way this baby isn't roberts. There's been so many hints about him not being the dad and the fact their having him accept the baby so quick after birth is enough proof it's going to be snatched from him. My prediction? Lachlan hiding in the attic will bring it all to the surface. He knows everything about his family. He knows about robert and Lawrence that's no secret to him. He'll hear rebecca talking to the baby about vics baby obsession. "If only you're auntie vic knew who your daddy truly was. But how can you tell her? They've just got back together. She thinks he's infertile. How do I tell her adam is your daddy?" Or something along those lines. Lachlan will waste no time in telling him. Robert will want to tell Aaron because that's what broke them apart but when he goes to talk to him chas or liv will end up saying something to him so he decides to leave it. He'll end up in the hospital because Rebecca has told Lawrence what he's done and lawrence will be the one to put him there. No one will know about the baby's paternity till he wakes up. Everyone will be sat there begging him to fight for his son but they don't know. Vic will have to deal with choosing Rebecca over her brother and a close mate. Aaron will have to deal with the fact his marriage broke down because of his best mate. Rebecca and Vic. One sadly and pathetically in love with someone who doesn't want her and one who's desperate for a child have been so happy and got their own way through out this storyline something has to go wrong for them. Why has a DNA test NEVER been brought up? They'll surely have to do one soon? Why question paternity three times? Why have Lawrence Chrissie and Victoria all been involved in DNA storylines never questioned it? Normally when it's a characters first pregnancy it's NEVER this straight forward. They either loose the baby or there's a dna issue. I'm so down for the adam theory. It will cause the drama we all want. I just think it's highly suspicious both times roberts told her it's not her he wants she's suddenly "pregnant". She knew Aaron was coming home that day. Why take a test in HIS house? Why not do it in the ladies like priya and vic both did? Why do it on that specific day? Adam Barton is gonna be a dad and noone else will tell me otherwise. It's the only thing that makes sense. It's been made obvious from the start this baby would stop robron being together and for emmerdale to have aaron accept the baby would just make the past few months pointless. How does Aaron go from "it's too late for us" to being back with him? Something has to give. Something has to change. There has to be a twist. If this baby was roberts it would be premature. Yet despite the fact both robert and lachlan have mentioned her being early not one of the spoilers mention that?

[zonerobotnik]

Best Pal (BATIM one-shot)

Henry had met Joey Drew in school, in a creative writing class. Writing wasn't really his forte, so Henry had been doodling while the teacher droned on and on. Sitting in the back of the class, the teacher hadn't noticed that he had his sketchbook tucked under his required reading and he quietly doodled the characters in the story in peace.

Joey Drew asked a lot of questions, and spoke a lot in class. He constantly led the discussions and all eyes were on him at the front of the class. They practically lived in different worlds and Henry was fine with that. He wasn't sure if he could handle the hyperactive older teen if he ever had to deal with him. Except then he had to deal with him. Joey had somehow found out about his art and his hiding places and pestered him in all of them to let him see his art, even going as far as meeting him on the way home from school. Worried that he was going to follow him home, Henry finally relented and showed him his artwork. “Henry, this is beautiful!” Joey had praised him. “No, really, this is amazing! You could be something great with this talent!” With a father that didn't support his art and a mother distracted by several things in her life and teachers that brushed off his art as a waste of time, it was...nice to get praise for his art. He honestly hadn't expected it. “Thank you.” He said, feeling a bit warm inside. Maybe Joey wasn't so bad after all. He and Joey became friends after that. He would show him his art and Joey would show Henry his writings. They grew closer and closer, remaining friends all the way into college. And then, one day, Joey had this wild, amazing idea. “Let's open an animation studio!” He said excitedly. “With my writing and your drawing skills, we'll be a sensation!” Caught up in the high of Joey's excitement, Henry had jumped right in with him. Joey used some money from an inheritance to buy the building, a glorious studio that was one floor and a basement, and also some other supplies they would need to get them started. Turns out, a big building like that was a bit much for two men. And they needed more staff anyway. So Joey recruited some others they had met in college. Wally Franks, who they'd met in Chemistry. Susie Campbell, who they'd met in the music room. Sammy Lawrence was also from there, and he brought his own band. Of course they needed someone to run projections, so Joey had hired a guy named Norman Polk that kept to himself. Henry could respect that, honestly. For two weeks, they worked together to try to figure things out. Henry did random little animations and Susie playfully made goofy voices for them, but as for something solid...they had nothing. Joey was adamant that they not leave the studio until they had The Next Big Thing. The lack of windows in the place made it hard for Henry to know how much time had passed, but he tried to call home as much as he could to make sure his Linda was happy and healthy. Too bad he couldn't bring her into the studio, but her fur would get everywhere. What he wouldn't give for her wet nose, though. And then, it came to him. He was just doodling aimlessly as he listened to Joey rambling on again about the importance of teamwork and belief and whatever else, and all this talk about belief in some unknown power had caused him to doodle a demon, of all things. And he loved him. He called him Bendy, though he didn't show him to Joey right away. He hid in his own little nook and perfected his character, drawing a tutu on him, drawing him dancing, so cheerful, drawing him playing pranks on random characters, he was having so much fun he didn't even notice when someone came up behind his chair. “Is that a new character?” Henry jolted in place and accidentally put a blot of ink on Bendy's face. Whoops. Sighing, he looked up at Joey with impatience. “Yes, Joey. I'm working on a new character. Can you not sneak up on me?” “Sorry.” Joey laughed a bit and offered him a steaming mug. “Coffee?” Henry sighed and finally set down his quill so he could free up his hands. “Thanks.” He took the mug and gulped the contents down. “So, tell me about this new character of yours.” Joey said with interest. So Henry told him all about his new character, Bendy the Dancing Demon. After finishing his coffee, he whipped up a few movement animations and they showed them off to the crew. Naturally, everyone adored him and grew excited about their future. Finally, they had The Next Big Thing for sure. And Bendy took off like a storm. People practically begged for more Bendy shorts, they got a sponsor bringing more money, Joey hired on another mechanic and got someone to manage his finances for him and then they brought in someone to make toys for them because the people demanded merchandise. Henry's quill flew as he drew Bendy over and over, but over time he was starting to want something else. He wanted his Linda. He got to go home a few times, but he still couldn't bring her with him. His beautiful husky, with fur that reminded him of a wolf. He drew a new character, Boris the Wolf, to try and ease his loneliness of Linda. Like her, he was prankster that Bendy just couldn't stay mad at. Annoyed, yes, but not mad. The two were a huge hit and the people loved them. Joey loved them, though he especially favored Bendy. Then Susie came to Henry one day, massaging his shoulders. “You look like you need a break. Want some coffee with me?” “I'm almost done with this animation.” Henry told her. “Come on, Henry.” She coaxed him. He looked up at her, setting down his quill. “I don't think Bendy would appreciate the interruption.” Susie laughed a bit. “Well, maybe you should tell Bendy he's not the center of the universe?” Henry smiled wryly. “Tell that to Joey.” He looked back at his work. “I'm almost done, then I'll have the new one ready.” “We should hire more artists.” Susie sighed. “You're overworked.” “Tell that to Joey, every time I talk to him about anything that's not art he tells me that I should get back to drawing.” Henry frowned, picking up his quill. “I'm going to get you some coffee.” Susie kissed his head and walked away. And that's when Henry got the idea to introduce a new character. A beautiful angel that fell from above, an angel to counter Bendy's antics with her goodness. He finished the animation and handed it off and then set to work again on his new design. Susie, of course, was excited to see the beautiful angel character that she had inspired. Joey wasn't so excited, worried that people wouldn't care for her, but with Susie's voice and Alice Angel's looks, people adored her. Finally, they had a main cast. But Henry wasn't done. He drew side-characters that showed up more than once, and they were Bendy's friends. Things were great. But, there was competition. Henry hadn't really noticed it, hadn't been outside much, but one day Joey came to him saying they needed fresh ideas, they needed something amazing that could combat all the others, that would stand out. Stand out? What on earth stood out more than a dancing demon, a wolf and an angel?! Try as he might, he couldn't think of anything new. They lost their sponsor, interest declined, but they kept going. Joey gave orders and demands like a madman, and started reading some really weird books. Henry's concern was met with “Just go back to work”. Drawing felt like such a chore now, and even Bendy's grin and Susie's soothing voice wasn't enough to help Henry relax. He finally had enough when Joey swung at him when he asked for a week-long break to attend a family event out of state. Joey, in his anger, said that if Henry was going to take that long a break he may as well leave. So he left. He packed up his things and left that very day and didn't look back. He didn't draw again. Just the thought of drawing reminded him of happier days and made him sick and so he locked it all away, instead going to work at a factory. He noticed that interest in Bendy had declined until it finally stopped, and then it was like it was all a bad dream. A bad dream that kept cropping up every time he got a maniacal letter from Joey, telling him about some machine, or talking about how it was like Bendy was alive lately. He brushed it off as the ravings of a madman and sent cordial responses asking how he and the others were doing. The others sent letters, which he responded to, but then he left home to go fight for the country and by the time he returned they had stopped contacting him. Twenty years of silence. Thirty years since he'd walked out the door. He was tempted to go back so many times, but didn't. He was...afraid. Afraid of Joey. Afraid to be sucked back into drawing endlessly until ink stained his hands permanently. And then he got a message from Joey. [Dear Henry, It seems like a lifetime since we worked on cartoons together. 30 years really slips away, doesn't it? If you're back in town, come visit the old workshop. There's something I need to show you. Your best pal, Joey Drew.] “Best pal”? How long had it been since they had last met, and he called him his “best pal”? How long since he had swung at him like a madman? Still...he sounded a little more coherent in this letter. Maybe he'd finally come to his senses. The tiny little Bendy shape in the corner of the letter made all the memories of the good times come back and he sighed, grabbed his keys and headed out. A decision he would come to regret. The studio he returned to was not the same one he left. Extra basements had been built and every member of the staff was... And Bendy was alive and chasing him down. It was like he was living one of his worst nightmares, except this was reality. Joey had made a new definition for the word “insanity”, and dragged everyone down with him. Susie, poor beautiful Susie, had been turned into Alice Angel. Covered in ink with her skin falling off, Susie was...no longer alive. No one in the studio was, he guessed. At least...not in the proper sense of the word. Zombies. His old friends had turned into zombies, and it was up to him to stop them from rampaging. Tears slipping down his cheeks, ink staining his body and clothes, and heart pounding dangerously in his chest, he took up an axe and went deeper and deeper into the hell that Joey Drew had created. God, he hoped he survived this... End

[the--blackdahlia]

Don’t Blink Chapter 19 (John x Reader)

Title: Don’t Blink Chapter 19

Summary:  When (Y/n) takes a simple haunting case on her own, she gets in way over her head. Being transported to the past, she falls in love with a young marine with a killer smile. The only problem is she knows his sons and his girlfriend wants to kill her, and probably knows about twenty ways to do so.

Warnings: Language

2005

 John came by for a week at the beginning of April. Dean was taking a break, enjoying some spring breakers in Los Angeles, so John took a vacation of his own, not leaving (Y/n)’s bed for much of that week.

 “You realize every time we have sex, I get pregnant right?” (Y/n) joked as she laid by him. John smiled up at her.

 “What can I say?” He laughed. “Don’t worry, I doubt that it will happen this time.”

 “Never say never Mr. Winchester.” (Y/n) said, lacing her fingers with his. “I’m pretty sure you said the same thing when I got pregnant with Adam.” John saw her eyes sadden some at the mention of her youngest.

 “He’s great.” John said, rubbing her arm. “I’ve seen him occasionally. Kate lets me hang out with him. He’s growing up nicely.” He looked over at (Y/n). “I could take you to see him.”

 “No.” (Y/n) sighed. She hadn’t had contact with any of the boys outside of the handful of words she shared with Dean. “I can’t risk it. The angels have left me alone. I’m scared if I try to make contact with our boys, they’ll mess things up again.” John kissed her gently.

 “We have a few more days together. Let’s just enjoy it.” He said, running a hand down her body. (Y/n) smiled.

 “You’re determined to knock me up again Mr. Winchester.” (Y/n) laughed. John was the happiest he had been in a long time.

 ****

 When Dean met up with John days later, he could tell that his dad was in a much better mood. They went back on the hunt, but John always made sure that his phone was completely charged up. It was October, about six months after John was reunited with (Y/n) again, that his phone rang while he was sitting in the library. He left Dean at the table and went to answer it.

 “(Y/n)?” John asked. He could hear her crying. “(Y/n), what’s wrong?”

 “I tried to put it off. If I didn’t tell you it wouldn’t change anything. But they’re going to come for me, I just know it.” She cried. John frowned.

 “Who’s coming for you?” He asked.

 “They’re going to take the baby away. I just know it.” She told him. It clicked in John’s mind then. Her little joke had come true. He didn’t even think he would be able to get someone pregnant at his age.

 “I’m coming back.” John said. “Just stay there okay. I’m in Oklahoma. I’ll be there as quick as I can. I love you (Y/n).” He hung up and ran back to gather his things.

 “Dad? Everything okay?” Dean asked.

 “Emergency hunt.” John said. “I have to go. I’ll call you in a few days.” He told his son as he left the library.

 John went on a “hunting trip” and didn’t call.

 ****

 (Y/n) was working. She really couldn’t stop. She got a lot more tips from sympatric truckers. But there were a few assholes who liked to touch still. And one of them picked the wrong moment. (Y/n) was about to push him off when someone grabbed him by the back of the shirt and hauled him out of his booth. (Y/n) looked up with wide eyes to see John standing there.

 “Don’t ever touch her again.” He growled. He grabbed her hand. “Come on.”

 “John, I have to work.” She said. He shook his head.

 “She quits.” HE said, pulling her out of the diner. (Y/n) followed along behind him.

 “John, what are you doing? Where are we going?” She asked.

 “To do something we should’ve done back in ’83.” He said as he led her to his truck.

 ****

 A couple hours, and a few hundred dollars later, John and (Y/n) stood by each other in front of a man in a suit. John was holding (Y/n)’s hand and smiling.

 “You may now kiss the bride.” The man said. John pulled (Y/n) to him and kissed her deeply. (Y/n) clung to him, not wanting him to continue on this path. She knew everything he knew about Azazel, plus his plan. But she couldn’t tell him these things.

 ****

 They ended up in a motel room in Jericho later on. But the Woman in White was going after unfaithful men, and even though he was married to her now, John had been unfaithful to Mary with (Y/n). Afraid that she would try to hurt (Y/n) and their unborn child, he packed her up and left in a rush, leaving notes for Dean to follow, because he knew he would be on his trail. (Y/n) knew this too, and knew what would be happening to her Sammy in about 48 hours.

 Instead of going to Stanford to warn him, or telling John what was about to happen, she was in the passenger seat of his truck, asleep with a hand protectively over her belly as he drove. He stopped a couple times to refuel and rest, but for the most part, he drove straight through.

 ****

 “Where are we?” (Y/n) asked with a yawn. John just smiled.

 “I already made a lot of mistakes with Sam and Dean. This little guy is going to be different.” John said, placing his hand on (Y/n) stomach.

 “What makes you think it’s going to be a boy Mr. Winchester?” (Y/n) teased.

 “I have three kids, all boys. Two of them were with you. It’s going to be a boy.” John kissed her cheek.

 “Yeah, and you also said that there was no way I would get pregnant again.” She smiled at him before looking out the window. “But seriously, where are we?” John just pulled into a driveway of a house. “John?”

 “In 1972, a tornado came through Lawrence and destroyed my mom’s house. Using the insurance money she had, as well as some savings, she bought this place.” John said. “It’s been sitting empty for a while. Mary didn’t want to use it when mom died. But it’s ours.” He got out of the truck and helped (Y/n) down. She was speechless, staring at the house. “You don’t like it, do you? It’s okay Mary didn’t either and…” (Y/n) stopped his rambling by kissing him.

 “It’s perfect John.” She said. He smiled and kissed her cheek.

 “I called in some help a while ago.” John said. “When I found you, I was thinking about giving this to you as a safe place. So I had some people that owed me some favors remodeling it and some hunters putting up safeguards.” He led her into the house. Their house.

 ****

 John continued his research, but stayed low. He got wind that Sam and Dean were in town, and he made sure that they wouldn’t find out where (Y/n) was. He couldn’t remember when they had rescued her, but he knew it had to be soon. He sent them on hunts to keep them away from Lawrence, away from her. He couldn’t risk the angels coming after her again.

 On December 7th, 2005, John rushed (Y/n) to the hospital and they welcomed a little girl into the world. John had been shocked when the doctor asked him if he wanted to hold his daughter. (Y/n) couldn’t stop smiling when she saw the grin on his face. She was smaller than any of the boys had been, but John knew without a doubt she would be as strong as her brothers.

 “What are we going to name her?” John asked as he stared at the little girl in the pink onesie.

 “What was your mom’s middle name?” (Y/n) asked.

 “Roseland.” John said, looking confused.

 “Her name is Rosie.” (Y/n) said. “Rosie Winchester.”

 ****

 Things were going okay for a while. John was the perfect father, trying to make up for his past mistakes. But the call to hunt down the demon that almost took two of his boys from him was too great and soon, John was packing up his bags to leave.

 “John, please don’t do this.” (Y/n) begged.

 “I have a lead. And soon we can leave in peace. Away from the Yellow Eyed Demon.” John told her. But when he looked at her, he realized that something was majorly wrong. “(Y/n), I’ll come back. I always do.”

 “No you won’t!” She cried out, large tears falling down her face. “You die! You don’t come back!” John stared at her. Her rule about not telling him about the future was long since out the door.

 “What do you mean?” John asked.

 “You sell your soul for Dean!” She told him. Rosie started to cry. She picked her daughter up and held her close to her chest, rocking her. “And Dean does the same later on that year for Sam. He gets one year to live before they take him. You go instantly.” Hot tears fell down her face. “Sam dies because the demon, but Dean ends up killing him. And when Dean goes to hell, Sam starts drinking demon blood and hunting like a machine. Dean getting pulled out of hell broke the first seal of the Apocalypse. And Sam killing Lilith, the demon that owned Dean’s soul, broke the last one, releasing Lucifer into the world.”

 “As of 2010, your dead, Adam’s dead, Sam and Dean have died several times, Bobby is in a wheelchair, Pastor Jim and Caleb are dead. Hell, even Ellen and Jo are! And Dean is friends with the angel that has been fucking us over since the beginning! The future is not a happy place to be. And I won’t go back to a time where everyone I love is dead. I won’t take Rosie to that time. I know it’s coming and I know I can’t change it.” She set down in a chair, holding Rosie close to her. She couldn’t look up at John. She hadn’t even told him all the little details, just the big, nasty, in your face ones.

 “(Y/n)…” He knelt in front of her. “I will change this. There has to be a way, right? I can fix it. I can stop it from happening.” She shook her head. “Why not?”

 “Because you’ll sell your soul for Dean. Because Dean will get the worst of it. Because you’ll be possessed by the demon and Sam won’t shoot you.” She wiped at her eyes. “It never changes.”

 “It will.” He promised. “I will make sure of it.” He kissed her forehead. “I will come home to you. To the both of you.”

 ****

 On May 4th, 2006, (Y/n) waited for John to call, to say he had changed the future. Instead, she got a letter in the mail in his handwriting, saying he tried.

 ****

 2009

 (Y/n) was sitting outside, listening to the crickets chirp in the distance. Rosie was asleep on her legs, a blanket wrapped around her. The neighborhood was peaceful. No angels had come for her, but they had already gotten just about everything they wanted from her.

 “Hi!” A cheery voice said, sitting in the chair beside her. (Y/n) pulled out a fun from a spot underneath her chair and pointed it at the intruder. She knew it wasn’t a neighbor kid. The gate had bells on it and they hadn’t rang. “Now, you probably know that won’t hurt little old me.”

 “Gabriel.” (Y/n) sighed. “I thought I had angel warding.”

 “To block little old Cassie, yes.” He laughed. “Come on. I haven’t seen you since this little one turned one. Can’t I stop by and see an old friend?”

 “We’re not friends.” (Y/n) growled. “I asked you to bring John back, to make sure my boys were safe, and you told me no!”

 “I was young and naive then.” Gabe laughed. (Y/n) rolled her eyes. “As you know, the Apocalypse is upon us. And I have a few cards still in play…”

 “Yeah?” (Y/n) said, a little confused.

 “Long story short, I’m here to offer you a deal.”

 ****

 Present

 The Doctor took them to Lawrence in the TARDIS. Bobby wanted to go and Cas wasn’t up to full strength. Dean could hear a Bob Seger song playing from a little radio as they walked towards a woman working in the garden. Her hair was shorter, and she had gained a little weight and a couple years, but he knew who it was. “Beautiful Loser” was just about over. Dean could tell it was on a cassette. The one he had made her.

 “I was wondering how long it’d take you to find me.” The woman said before any of the boys made a noise. She stood up and wiped the dirt from her hands, turning to look at them. She had a smile on her face. “Hello boys, long time no see.”

Forever Tags: @petrovadixon @theas-bedtime-stories @aiaranradnay @jjbabygirl98 @policeofficerdean @bandobsession98 @dekahg @secretlyshycomputer @af112992 @crownedloki @cutie1365 @firstgal34

Don’t Blink Tags: @roxy-davenport @coyote-butterfly @alangel1895 @whatisauser @daddy-kink-confirmed @themagician-1 @winchestergeekfreak

[spnsimpleman]

The Unknowns: Seventeen

^CanonSpngifs^

This is a continuation for The Unknowns.  A one shot turned into a long ass Prologue.  Part One.  Part Two.  Part Three.  Four.  Part Five.  Part Six. Part Seven.  Part Eight.  Part Nine.  Ten.  Eleven.  Twelve.  Thirteen. Fourteen.  Fifteen.  Sixteen.

Dean x Psychic!reader

Teaser/Summary: An AU sparked from a songfic challenge, The Unknowns is based on Season One Episode Nine, Dean met reader in Lawrence as a child and they created an unbreakable bond. At the end of The Unknowns, reader decided to stick with her boys because she felt something coming but she holds secrets; one she holds close to her heart and a few that she doesn’t even really know yet.

Word count: 4030

My lower back ached and my hands were cramping on the steering wheel as the road blurred in front of me. The dream still latched onto the back of my neck, but only pieces of it, the demon’s voice scolding and full of piss one moment then broken and agonized the next.

I couldn't place them, but I knew it was coming soon. It was racing toward me like the wavy black asphalt ahead. I couldn't read the signs along the road, couldn't identify where I was or where I was going but everything seemed to scream abandon all faith, ye who enter here!

Lie. My father’s voice, adamant and seething.

I jerked my head to the side but I only found Sammy, leaning against the window in a fit of restless sleep. His brow drawn and his jaw tight. A non-thought glance in the backseat turned into a frozen stare. I was laying there with my knees pulled up, my face tight and then it flinched, I flinched. My lips murmuring something I couldn't understand.

I jerked forward and looked in the rear view mirror. Tired and worried green eyes stared back.

My head spun and throbbed. I closed my eyes and sucked in a breath.

It’s okay. We’ve got you. I’m taking you to the car. We’ve gotta go.

The warm leather under my cheek again as I fidgeted, rubbing my sternum each time it taunted me with whispers or screams.

Quite the little liar.   

Shh. I've got you. I’m still here. Right here. The familiar hum, the blend of midnight and soft green like a blanket, soothing me back to sleep only to be shaken by the image of Dean broken and bleeding, his head laying against a car door without any sign of life stirring around him. Everything so cold but hot. Wrong.

Quite the little liar!

Lie.

The words continue to weave in and out throughout the tangled mess of dreams and twisting nightmares. The demon’s yellow eyes even made an appearance but every time I tried to claw my way to the surface, I only made it far enough to hear baby humming me to sleep. Back down the hole, I slide.

“Hey sweetheart, show me those beautiful eyes.”

Dean’s hands were warm, one brushed over my cheekbone while the other glided up and down my arm. I opened my eyes and smiled at the warmth that filled me. He looked tired but was still running on determination and desperation. “Dad?”

He shook his head with a soft, sad smile, “no, but we’ve got help. Well, we’re gonna ask.” He helped me sit up then slid out of the car and held his hand out. I didn’t need it but took it gratefully anyway just for the contact. For the extra swirl of heat to replace the lingering cold I couldn’t explain.

I stepped out of the car and recognized the place immediately. “Bobby?”

Sam hoisted his bag over his shoulder and looked at the house warily, “you sure he’s even gonna let us in? I thought him and dad…” he looked at Dean, “didn’t you say something about a shotgun?”

I chuckled, “Bobby won’t hold that against us.” I felt better but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was as we walked up the front stairs. Each step was lighter, I was warmer with an energy stirring quicker than I’d felt in months.

Sam knocked on the door and I glanced at Dean with a smile. The heavy fog started to lift, that cold disappearing. His brow furrowed for a moment but it didn’t stop his grin. Whatever was bubbling up inside me was flowing along to him. He leaned in and kissed me.

“Boys? Y/n?”

I turned, smiling at the old man I hadn’t seen in too long. “Hey, Bobby.” He held out his arms and I walked into his powerful and comforting hug. Then anxiety streaked across my skin like a static charge. “What is it?”

He took a step back letting us inside with a nervous glance behind him. I finally realized what I had been feeling or rather who I felt. The one person who could energize me just as much as the man beside me. Roots sprouted from the bottoms of my feet and reached through the wood underneath anchoring me in place. If Pamela was here...

“Bobby?” Pamela stuck her head out from the kitchen.

“Pamela?” Sam asked from behind me and my skin prickled.

I couldn't get my lungs to work, I couldn't control anything.

Dean’s hand pressed against my lower back and I latched onto his other hand with a death grip. My heart was beating out of my chest as Pamela moved toward me, calm and collected, the absolute opposite of me. “Honeybee, it’s going to be okay.”

“What is it?” Sam was beside me looking on with worry and I met his gaze feeling the panic spike my blood.

“Pam? Bobby?” I closed my eyes at Jess’s sweet voice, her energy reaching out to mine.

Sam jerked at my side, his throat tight with a forced exhale, “no.”

There was a scuffle and Dean yanked me to his chest. That brick wall slamming up so fast it took what little breath I had left.

“It’s a shape shifter, Bobby!”

“Boy, settle down!”

“Woah there, grumpy. Calm down. Jess, wait over there.”

“No! What are you doing? That’s not her!”

Jess begged as she backed away, “Sam, please. I’ll show you. I’m sorry but you couldn’t know.”

“She’s not a shapeshifter!” More scuffling. “I don't want to restrain you.”

The storm of emotions slammed into the wall, only echoes that couldn’t reach me but a cacophony of sound nonetheless.

The fighting stopped. Sam was watching me, pleading with me for direction, confirmation. His gaze was burning into me, begging me for anything.

Dean’s arms tightened around me as I turned my head toward Sam, another tear raced down my cheek when I opened my eyes. “I’m sorry, Sammy. I couldn’t tell you because the demon couldn’t know. She… didn't die that night. I couldn’t let it take her.” Sam’s face fell and then I felt it, his anger roared up and crashed into the wall like a tanker truck. The wall cracked right down the middle. “I’m so sorry.” The cracks opened again in my sternum then Dean’s energy was there, blocking, suppressing, healing. Another wall slammed up against the first.

I'd been envisioning this day, this moment for eight months. I'd been preparing for the pain I knew would come, tried to envision and strengthen for its impact. I even tried to picture Sam’s face, the way he would look at me. I'd done it for so long and so often, I had thought that once I got here it would be more like a memory, something I could conceal and shove into a room, bolting the door, and move on. 

I’ve admitted before that I am by no means a master of emotion but I've experienced so many, I like to think I could draw up a good enough portrait. 

I wasn't even close.

The look on his face as he stared at me, I didn't need to feel the myriad of emotions that continued to fire my way.

Grief on its own can be difficult to handle but grief was not a lone wolf, it always traveled in a pack bringing along its closest friends, each one weighing you down and jostling you into a corner. Grief could be the most dangerous because its attack was slow, quiet, and difficult to judge. Before you knew it, it nested in the deepest part of you bringing in its friends whenever it pleased, taking over your entire life. It could be your greatest friend guiding you along a path that led to healing or your greatest enemy pushing you down an alley with no way out, at least not on your own strength.

The scorn, agony, and betrayal on my baby brother’s face, the single broken moment where I became something completely different to him. I was his rock, one of two constants he always relied on and I was crumbling, crushing under the weight in his eyes. I became the enemy, a revealed monster by his side all along.

There was no amount of preparation or sketching up the look that he would break me with. And just like with his emotions not too long ago, I couldn't close my eyes. I could never turn him away. I gazed, my vision blurring and clearing as that look was etched into my memory and carved into my soul.

Sam finally broke the contact and turned his back on me. I closed my eyes and clutched Dean tighter, unsure of my own legs. Unsure of myself. 

Someone else touched my back and then my hair. Jess’s voice was in my ear, “please don’t worry. We’ll get through this together.”

“Hey, Jess,” Dean whispered over my head.

“Hey.”

I wondered where Sam was but then I knew. He had bolted out the door. He couldn't stand to be in the same room as me. I wouldn't.

“I’ve got her. You go talk to him.”

She released a long breath, “yeah.”

Bobby grumbled beside us, “why don’t you two take the last room on the left. This place is getting pretty crowded.”

“We need your help.”

“Tell me something I don’t know, son.”

Pamela’s energy flared inside me as she came closer. “Talk gets around fast when you’ve got that many demons on your tail. You go help her calm down. Then we’ll regroup and talk it over in the study. We’ve got time.” Pamela touched the top of my head and whispered some incantation I couldn’t quite hear but the sensation of warm liquid flowing down from the top of my skull was pleasant. A welcome relief. “Let’s bring you down a bit, honeybee. It won’t last long, just give you a little reprieve.”

I submerged once again, the water heavy but not numbing. Strangely though, I could only feel Dean as if we were in a fishbowl and everything else was outside a thick pane of impenetrable glass.

“Thanks.” Dean, his voice warm and soft like our favorite flannel. I was still plastered to his chest and he didn’t want to change that so he guided me backward further into the house. I thought about how ridiculous he must look. He thought about peeling me off him to sit me down but changed his mind with a soft chuckle. You don’t have to give up my warmth.

He turned us around and sat down on a chair pulling me onto his lap. “We’re going to figure this out and it’s going to be okay.”

I dug my face into his neck then tried to dig into him as far as I could go. The sensation of climbing inside him was only slightly weird but not uncomfortable. “Don’t let go.” I wanted out of my skin, out of my head, and away from the now translucent heaviness threatening to drown me.

He sucked in a breath and his arms tightened around me. “Never.” His fingers traced the side of my face not pressed into his skin, brushing hair out of the way before smoothing down my jaw and curling under my chin. His thumb kissed my lips, “you are not a terrible person.”

I tried to shake my head but my forehead knocked into his jaw. He chuckled and laid his other hand on the back of my head. Suddenly, I felt weightless and I crawled towards his warmth.

I walked into a familiar kitchen, a motel somewhere we had stayed for a few weeks, and saw myself in front of an oven. I was bent over, reaching in and the focus was on my ass.

“Hey, beautiful.” I was speaking with Dean’s voice.

I watched myself jerk back and curse, dropping the circular pan to the floor.

I remembered this moment but not from this angle. I tried to look around until it hit me, I was in Dean. This was his memory.

“Shit, sorry,” I, Dean, rushed into the room and knelt down next to the now mess of pie ingredients. His gaze jumped up and caught the tears in my eyes.

“I can't even make a simple fucking pie!”

Dean’s light melodic chuckle rumbled in my chest and then the gaze flicked up to me. “Oh Christ, you're serious?”

I watched myself sit back on my heels. My face contorting as I dropped my chin to hide it. I remembered the way my throat had locked up and started to close on me. “I… can't do anything right.”

His chest clenched as he leaned down trying to see my face. “Woah, hey, that's a little much.”

“I can't make my mother happy, I can't make your dad happy, I can't make you a pie… I can't save a… I can't even help someone with emotions, with handling something I deal with all the time! How the hell did I think I could be a therapist? I...”

I, he grabbed my face and I studied my tear stained, reddening cheeks, the quivering lips, and the brilliant, sparkling eyes before they closed. 

I always thought I was an ugly crier, how can anyone look partially decent when their face turns against them? But he stared at me in full on break down and his heart began to pound. His gaze settled on my lips and warmth flooded his body. He wanted to kiss me but he stopped himself and it hurt, but he needed something more first. “Hey, look at me.” My eyes looked up, “you are perfect. I don't need a pie to be happy. You know what I need?”

“Don't give me some bullsh…” He focused on the angry look in my eyes and his heart pulsed with a tingling at the base of his spine. His jeans got a little tighter.

“I need you and all your flaws, all your hiccups, every single damn annoyance because you are perfect. You don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be but I’m telling you now, whatever you set your mind to, whatever you truly want to be, you will be amazing. You’ve taken care of me and Sammy our whole lives. So, one training session didn’t go well, who cares? I’m sure plenty of people without your abilities did the same thing. That’s why you came on this hunt, wasn’t it?”

I ignored his strange desire to taste pie on my skin and examined the change he created in me; the light going off that cleared some of the darkness around me. I could remember how the haze that had driven me mad dissipated as I looked into his expressive green eyes and felt his conviction, his never ending belief in me. But all I felt right now was such a strong surge of love with amazement, a little humor, and the arousal laced with it.

He stuck his hands into the mess of pie, “this is one of those fancy deconstructed pies, isn't it?” He looked back up at me his desire rising tenfold, I was staring in suspicion but I knew I had no idea what was coming. “I think it's missing something.” He grabbed my face, smearing the pie across my cheeks as he pulled me into him, and kissed me.

I drew in a sharp breath and pulled away from Dean staring into his eyes, “how did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Show me that memory.”

His eyes widened, “I… you saw that?”

“After that hunt when I tried to make…”

His hand brushed over my cheek, “the pie.” He smirked, “it was a damn good pie.”

I stared into his eyes recalling the feelings rushing through me as I looked into my own eyes… his feelings as he looked into my eyes.

“And it's not just the pie, there are so many things you do perfectly, like that thing with your tongue…” he wiggled his brows.

I kissed him, shoving every rolling emotion, good and crushing, into it. Inappropriate.

They flowed back weaving and twisting with his own roiling emotions. Anything to see that look in your eyes, sweetheart.

I may be lost and terrified but I would never be alone. A blurry image, dark, someone bloody leaning against something flashed across my vision but just as quickly washed away.

Dean's hand slid under my shirt and up my back. I drank him in. If I was going to drown, I will always prefer it be in him.

~~

Jess wandered through the junkyard with dwindling hope that she'd be able to find him. From Bobby’s stories, Sam spent quite a bit of time playing out here as a kid. He knew this place a lot better than her.

She slowed and turned in a circle. The anxiety was clawing at her insides and the longer she couldn't find him, the tighter her chest and throat became. “Come on, Sam.”

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She remembered that last night before Sam left, the tension in his back as he packed his bag that she thought was just anger at his father but now she knew it was so much more than that. He had been afraid to let her in, afraid of what could follow them home, worried about exactly what happened. She had wondered how many times he kicked himself for not kissing her that night. She sure beat herself up over not kissing him plenty of times.

A tug in her middle, the urge to go left overwhelmed her and she opened her eyes. She couldn’t see anything but more junkers. If there was one thing Pamela had reinforced over and over, it was to follow her instincts. She moved, following the pull that would probably lead to what she sought.

“Get out of your head. Ever heard of women’s intuition? Well, some women have a little more intuition than most and honey, I’m positive you’re one of them.”

“What does gut instinct have to do with this? That’s just experience and knowledge giving you insight…”

Pamela pinched her arm, “stop overthinking and just feel!”

She huffed out a breath and pictured the stupid keys again then moved around the house until she felt the warmth pool and opened her eyes. She pulled open the drawer and stared down at the keys.

“Told you. You’ve done that a lot in life, knowing just when to do something or just where something is. You’re not just lucky, you need to trust yourself.”

She looked over her shoulder where Pamela leaned against the wall with a smile on her face.

Jess felt the familiar warmth pool in her gut and opened her eyes. An old, rusted truck squat in front of her without a windshield or tires. She walked around to the right side and found Sam sitting in the dirt leaning back against the side. His long legs stretched out in front of him, his arms tightly crossed against his chest, and his red face twisted up squeezing his eyes closed. He knocked his head back against the truck. A habit that always came out when he was having a hard time with something, either getting something to stick while studying or struggling to work something out.

“She saved me,” Jess whispered and Sam jerked. His eyes snapped open and he stared as she walked over in front of him like he saw a ghost. To him, she probably was. Her chest constricted but she forced through the lump rising in her throat, “Pamela gave her a small casket of magic, some old Celtic healing thing from a friend. Y/n came to the apartment that night and saved my life. She protected my body with the Celtic magic and took my soul into her for safe keeping so I wouldn’t have to remember the demon’s attack if I didn’t want to. Pamela had a friend get my body before anyone could see it heal and brought it to a safe house where Y/n put my soul back. She saved me so I could see you again. To live my life with you.” The rush of words cut off. She wanted to touch him but knew she couldn’t. Not until he believed she wasn’t whatever monster he thought.

He digested her words and his eyes widened slightly, “she what?” Then his face shut down into that mask again. The lawyer was stepping into the courtroom.

She dropped her gaze and tried not to let it get to her. He was trying to wrap his head around all she just said. Analytical to the end. She’d take confusion over anger. “It’s magic, old magic. It’s called Soul Transference. The body you saw up on that ceiling was mine but I wasn’t in there. I know it sounds crazy but… I'm here so…” she shrugged, “she saved my life. She risked everything running in there that night, she said she felt the demon but didn’t see it. I know it might take time but you have to know that I wouldn't be here without her.”

“How did she know?”

She met his gaze, knowing through Y/n that he had the dreams too. “She had a dream… she couldn’t really see much but she knew the feelings. The demon killed me in some gruesome way to hurt you. She couldn’t let that happen.”

He shook his head and looked at his boots. “But why? Why couldn't she tell me?”

Jess took a deep breath and looked at the dirt in between them, burying her own fear. “We think the demon has some connection with you. A way of checking in. We can't know for sure how much he can get from you but it wasn't a risk we could take. If he knew I was still alive he could hunt me down, he could try to figure out how we did what we did.” She tried to meet his gaze but he was still staring at his boots. “It could come after both of us.”

“She lied to me,” he spit out but the pain outweighed the venom.

Jess sighed, “I lied to you.” His gaze finally jumped up to hers and she gasped at the heat in his eyes, the anger that clenched his jaw. “If you can't be around me, I understand.”

He jumped up so fast, she jerked back. He strode toward her and grabbed her arms with a gentleness that shouldn't surprise but did. He gazed down at his hands on her arms as if shocked he was clutching something solid. “No,” He was quiet but determination laced the word with power. His gaze met hers, searing her with a different heat, “it'll take time. I can't lie to her and pretend I'm okay, but I can't... not be with you. You have no idea how…”

She reached out tentatively, “I know.” When he didn’t pull away, she touched his cheek until her palm lay flat. He closed his eyes and leaned into it. “I know because I went through it too. Well, I didn't think you were dead but you thinking that I…” She shook her head, “I’m still pissed at myself for not kissing you that night. Not forcing you to stop and kissing you like I should’ve… ”

Sam’s eyes snapped open and his mouth collided with hers. His hands slid up her arms and dove into her dark hair as he kissed with a reckless abandon. She moaned into his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Your hair,” he mumbled against her lips as he turned her back toward the truck.

“Had to... change a few... things.” She got out between heated kisses while he pushed her back against the truck.

“Jess…” his voice hinted at his desire as his hands slipped under her shirt.

“No one’s out here.” She pulled at his belt and he grinned. He didn’t need any further instruction.

Eighteen

@duchessofwinchester , @jodyri , @jencharlan , @deanssweetheart23  @torn-and-frayed , @chrisatplay , @mogaruke , @captainemwinchester  , @ashrod98 , @mrswhozeewhatsis , @caitsymichelle13  , @escabell , @thealyana  

[pacificrey]

Just Give Me This (Zombie AU)

“This is it. isn’t it? This is the end.”

When the apocalypse arrived, it was merciless. Adam knew that far too well. 

Tags: Character Death, general gore 

Inspired by the amazing @bugjjuice ‘s funhaus zombie AU (I really wanted to try and write something) 

X (AO3 link)

The streets are overrun. Adam is glad that him and Lawrence were able to get out before the worst hit. The protest had turned into a riot, which had turned into a full on civilian massacre. As soon as they realized some of the people were infected, the police were just shooting blindly into the crowd. Turned or not, people began running, causing more panic. The police were getting attacked by the infected. Rioters began to throw Molotov’s. The smell of burning flesh is something Adam would not forget. Lawrence and him had managed to slip out a side street and wind their way back to Lawrences apartment. It was getting darker now, but the streets were illuminated by trash fires and the flashing of gunshots. They snuck in the back, and Lawrence immediately began to barricade the door as Adam slipped in. Adam ran over to the windows, pulling the shades. 

“Is this really happening?” Adam choked out. Lawrence glanced back at him, then went back to pushing the dresser in front of the door.

“Is that a rhetorical question or…?” 

“Lawrence this isn’t funny. Those were innocent people that the police gunned down.” Adam raised his voice, pointing outside. 

“Yeah ok! This is real! It’s happening! THE APOCALYPSE!” Lawrence was yelling in Adam’s face now, and Adam took a step back. The veins bulged out of Lawrence’s forehead, and he had a sickly yellow sheen to him that illuminated briefly as the fires filtered in through the window. This anger was unnatural, even for Lawrence. There was suddenly a crash from outside and both men froze. There wasn’t another sound, so they relaxed a little. 

“Lawrence,” Adam whispered, “I’m sorry to get you worked up like that.”

“NO! It’s not fucking ok!” Lawrence was yelling full volume now. Adam tried to shush him, but it seemed to just make him angrier. “It’s the fucking end of the world!” At that, something was pushing at the door, growling and snarling. Adam jumped, but Lawrence just rolled his eyes. Adam saw that the anger was still in his eyes.

“Lawrence, c’mon,” Adam breathed, barely forcing out a whisper, trying to lead him to the bathroom. Lawrence begrudgingly took his hand, and they tiptoed to the bathroom, locking the door behind them. Adam collapsed on the tile floor, forcing himself deep into the corner of the room. Lawrence sat down with his back against the door.

The house was silent. They could hear the muffled shuffling outside, but even the gunshots seemed to have stopped, at least for now. And in the calm, Adam began to cry softly. It began with a few sniffles, and then the tears began to fall down his face, splashing onto his jeans. 

“It’s not true, is it?” He was sobbing now. “Tell me you didn’t get bit.” Lawrence’s eyes were misty. He lifted his pant leg, and even in the poor lighting of this side bathroom, Adam could make out the distinctive bite mark, which was now red and inflamed. 

“We had made it out of the main crowd.” Lawrence started, avoiding eye contact with Adam. “I…I lost you for a moment. And I stopped, stopped just for a second to look around to find you, and,” Lawrence’s voice broke. “And one of those fuckers had their teeth around my ankle.” Adam knew what was going to come next. 

Both of them did. 

“I won’t do it,” Adam shook his head, his eyes red. Lawrence crawled over to him, placing his hands on his shoulders. 

“You have to.” Lawrence looked into his eyes, and Adam could see the pain. “You know that I can’t be saved now.” 

“You don’t know that.” Adam pleaded. The crying was getting worse. “I don’t want to kill my friend.” Lawrence gripped Adam’s shoulders tighter. 

“But I will kill you if you don’t.” Lawrence’s voice was so matter-of-fact. Adam knew this. 

“Can…can we please decide in the morning?” Adam begged, and Lawrence smiled. 

“Sure.” Lawrence pulled Adam into a hug as tears pooled in his eyes.

Lawrence knew he didn’t have that long.

Adam’s sniffles soon trailed off, and he was fast asleep, wrapped around Lawrence’s arms. As gently as possible, Lawrence untangled himself from Adam, and quickly wrapped him in a blanket. Adam shifted in his sleep, but showed no signed of waking. Satisfied, Lawrence got to work.

Adam awoke to a pounding on the door. Jerked awake, he realized he was alone.  Adam stood abruptly, scanning the room, looking for Lawrence. The banging subsided, and Adam glanced under the curtains. The sun was barely peaking over the horizon, illuminating the carnage of the street. The banging started up again, and Adam turned to the door, looking around for some kind of weapon. The bathroom was empty. Wearily, he crept to the door, and softly called out. 

“Lawrence?” A growling answered. “Lawrence,” Adam repeated, but his voice trailed off at the end. He cracked open the bathroom door, peaking out into the hallway. It was clear. Adam opened the door more, listening for any footsteps or noises. It was quiet again. “Lawrence?” Adam called out, louder this time. He was answered again by a loud growling. Just go, Adam thought to himself. You know what you’re going to find. Adam treaded as silently as he could down the hallway, the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The growling and banging were coming from Lawrence’s room. No, no, no, no… Adam reached the door, and the banging ceased. There was a note taped to the door:

Dear Adam, I’m so sorry I had to say goodbye like this, but it’s the only way that would ensure that you live. Please leave me. By the time you read this, I’ll already be completely infected, and I’ll be as good as dead. I’m so sorry. I love you, Lawrence PS - I left you a backpack full of food and supplies that might come in handy in the kitchen. 

Adam wanted to cry again. He couldn’t leave Lawrence in there. He reached for the door, but as soon as he touched the handle, the door shook on its frame, bending to the pushing of the undead behind it. Adam recoiled and shook his head. Defeated, he began walking to the kitchen. 

Lawrence was always the smarter one. He knew that there’s nothing Adam could do for him now. Adam grabbed the backpack and did a quick inventory. Some dried food, water, an emergency blanket and tons of medical supplies. Next to the bag, there was also a change of clothes and some running shoes. Adam put the bag down and picked up the clothes.  As he did, something clattered to the ground. A knife. A huge hunting knife. It must have been the only weapon that Lawrence could find in the house. Adam picked it up, feeling its weight, balancing it in his hand. He glanced back at Lawrence’s room. He would help Lawrence, end the suffering he was going through. 

No. He thought. 

I can’t kill my friend.

He put the knife back on the counter and changed his clothes, putting the extra pair in the backpack. He grabbed the knife and attached it to his belt, and swung on the backpack. The thumping of the door continued, in an almost rhythmic pattern. Adam tried to ignore it.

“It’s not him, its not him, it’s not Lawrence…” Adam kept repeating to himself. But he just still feel Lawrence’s arms wrapped around him, hear his voice trying to calm him in hushed tones last night. Adam screwed his eyes shut, but the thumping just seemed louder. He wiped the tears from his eyes. 

“Shut the fuck up!” He screamed at the monster. “You’re not him! Lawrence is dead!” His voice broke on the last word, partly out of strain and partly out of fear. Who knew if all the commotion would attract more of the undead. All Adam knew was that he had to leave. Now. He stopped at the door. Last chance. He thought.

No.

Adam pushed out the back door, and the outside world was too bright, too alive, too mundane for what was happening. The sun was out, there were a few birds flying overhead. It didn’t feel like he had just left his friend for dead, or that his friend was more than likely a cannibalistic, mindless monster. Stop that. Adam thought to himself. It doesn’t matter how much I think about it, its still going to change anything. Might as well get used to it.

Adam ran around the corner, trying to come up with some kind of plan. He didn’t know if a car would be much use, especially if the highways were blocked. But he definitely wouldn’t last on foot, he knew he wasn’t fast enough.

After a few seconds hesitation, Adam decided on a car. The truck in the neighbors driveway had keys over the dashboard; he’d seen the girl get out of the car almost daily and stash them in the visor. He made a beeline for the truck. He reached the door, fumbling for the handle for a few moments before the door flung open. Adam jumped in, his hands shaking.

The keys.

Adam reached up, pulling down the visor and the truck keys fell into his lap. Something slammed into his window, making Adam jump. A bloody mass of flesh and teeth where pressed up against the window, its mouth opening and closing, trying to gnaw its way through the glass,. It’s rotten hands were reaching through the crack in the top of the window, and Adam started up the truck as fast as possible. The infected was reaching further in by the time Adam was able to back up out of the driveway, and in the process pulling off the creature’s arm as it was dragged backwards. As Adam drove off, he pushed the arm out, gagging. He swerved a little, getting himself back on the road. He looked back one last time in the rearview mirror. 

He had to go find someone. Anyone. He didn’t want to be alone. 

[partyatmyhaus]

Wouldn’t It By Easy To Believe?

The soulmate AU where your bruises/scratches/scars show up on your soulmates skin in different colors. - Matt Peake has never lead an easy life- but it lead to him meeting his Soul Mates.

AO3 Mirror

On his 8th birthday the marks show up. Perfect thin rings of various colors on his upper left leg. Right under the red swirl of a font- where his name is written. When he asks his mother, she gets wide eyes and tells him never to show his father. Matt doesn’t understand why it’s such a big deal but promises her anyways.

-

[It’s about this time colors appear on his skin, patches of gold around his elbows and lilac on his wrists. Matt wants to ask his mother- but he remembers how she reacted about his colors, and keeps his mouth shut.]

-

It’s when Matt turns 10, he learns what the marks on his legs are. Matt learns about what soulmates are, and learns about why he gets splotches of other colors on his skin. His teacher explains it to him, about how when your soulmate (or soulmates in Matt’s case) get hurt- their color would appear on his skin- wherever the bruise was forming for them. And that if there was a scar, it would appear on the other- lighter than a bruise would, but it would stay.

And so his teacher explains that the lilac on his nose, comes most likely from his soulmate getting a broken nose.

Matt goes home and when he accidently makes his dad mad that night- he ends up worried he’ll be too broken for his soulmates later on.

-

When Matt turns 12 his dad finds out about how many bands he has. The colors, the fact his son is an abnormality and spends an hour banging on the bathroom door- screaming at him for being a mistake.

Screaming loud enough Matt hear him loud and clear, even with his hands over his ears and his loud sobs.

He hears his father’s voice loud and clear.

-

By the time he’s in the 8th grade, everyone knows him as the freak with 7 other soulmates. Soulmates that must hate having him because he’s always coloring their bodies in bright red- bright noticeable, questionable red.

It’s also about this time, his dad seems to be angry every night. Angry and drunk, everything becoming his mother’s fault somehow. Everything being blamed on her, on one occasion the fact it was raining being blamed on her.

Matt spends most night- falling asleep to the sounds of glass shattering, yelling  and the noise of his own thoughts repeating his apologies to his soulmates.

-

High school starts, and he’s the only one causing colors. The scrapped white knees, and bruised grey palms have stopped. And he tries, he tries to stop the colors- the fighting, the one sided brawls. But his mom left, and Matt is still known as the freak with 7 other soulmates and he’s a small kid versus big football players and a cruel father.

Matt always tries to protect his own face, not for himself but for the 7 others. He tries, but he doesn’t always succeed.

-

10th grade is when he starts to self harm, he’s lost the will to care anymore. He’s heard of platonic soulmates and he knows at this point that’s what the bands have to mean. He’s not good enough to have a romantic soulmate- he knows that.

So he burns, tears, scratches and picks at his own skin. He yearns for some form of control- he hates his father but hates his mother more. He just wants something to be in his control for the next two years that he’s a dependant of his father. For the next two years he’s stuck in this household that makes his freshly washed clothes reek of alcohol and blood.

His arms become a mess, but he carefully destroys the area of his leg where the lines are.

The one night in particular where everything fell apart, and he came to the conclusion that: it was all his fucking solemates faults. If he had one soulmate he wouldn’t have this fucking problem. All these fucking problems. So, he spends an hour or two crying in the bathroom- tearing his leg and sobbing. He just wants it to stop.

He just wants everything to stop.

-

In Grade 11 the his knuckles are turning green and purple- without him doing anything. His solemates fight, meanwhile he lays and takes it. Under his hoodie is worse than ever- his ribs causing him pain at the smallest breath, nothing being able to heal before something new happened.

It’s also in Grade 11, he gets jumped. He goes to a football game on a whim, with a couple of kids from his Spanish class. He ends up getting cornered by a group of kids while he walked home in the dark.

They end up tackling him, ripping his shorts down and one of them crudely cutting into his leg while he cried and screamed and begged.

For the first time in years, Matt silently apologizes to his soulmates for the word that will scar into their skin under the already damaged area of the bands.

‘Monster’.

-

Highschool ends in a blur, grandparents and aunts he didn’t know he had pay for him to go to college and that’s when it starts to get better.

There’s no more marks coming from him, in fact the only colors on his skin come in the form of green, purple and gold. He wonders if green and purple are okay- they seem to fight a lot.

-

College is when he starts to figure out who he is as a person. Away from the fighting and the constant noise. College is when Matt spends the time to figure out that men and women are attractive- and he also figures out that he doesn’t seem to have a type. Too many variations of what ‘attractive’ is, too many shapes and sizes. Too many tones and quirks for him to narrow down.

-

In the middle of college he gets admitted to the hospital. He wakes up with thick bandages around his wrists and up his arms. He spends hours daydreaming about someone, anyone coming to visit him- to worry over him.

No one comes.

-

He’s discharged a week later on the empty promise of calling a therapist and enough fake smiles for no one to worry.

-

By the time college ends, he’s got depression. Massively so. It coming back in a tidal wave of antidepressants, and trying to motivate himself to go to job interviews. He somehow ends up with one, a nice job actually, for a pretty big tv show- but he hates it. Like something about it makes him sit just slightly to the left- like everything about it is just a tiny bit off.

-

[He gets trashed one night and relapses, after 2 years of being clean he relapses and ends up with a new phrase under the still ever present ‘Monster’.

‘I’m sorry’]

-

He gets a job with them, by chance.

Their ad looking for a new editor gets sent to him by a colleague- a friend who knows he’s miserable and on a whim he submits his resume and forgets all about it.

Until a few days later when his phone rings right after he gets home, and it’s some guy named Bruce- asking to set up an interview.

He gets hired a week later.

-

[Bruce is very kind when Matt explains he doesn’t want to shake hands on the deal- that he doesn’t want to touch in general].

-

When he joins he starts to hear about their relationship, learn more about them as people- and the gnawing feeling in his stomach grows everyday. He learns about how Bruce and Adam used to fight in high-school. How Elyse loved to roller blade as a kid- and never wore knee pads. Matt laughs endlessly over how Lawrence loved dodgeball as kid, but did not love how everyone threw harder than him.

[The gnawing feeling explodes one day over lunch when Joel talks about how he broke his nose in the 4th grade- Matt has to leave so he can stop shaking].

-

They all go out for drinks one night, and Matt spends the entire evening making sure his hands are covered by his hoodie- making sure no skin to skin contact can happen.

And outside of him being unable to enjoy his buzz- he does find himself laughing and enjoying the company of his friends.

He’s delighted when Elyse shows up and he leaves the bar that night with a new number in his phone under the contact name ‘Funniest Willems’.

-

It’s after a drunk stream, at the end of their day- that the gnawing feeling becomes just a lump of pain and dread at the bottom of his stomach.

He doesn’t remember who starts the conversation, all he knows is everyone is talking about sole marks (everyone but him of course). And eventually someone outside of their little squad is talking about the worst marks from a solemate and Adam looks ready to wilt away and Adam rambles out,

“Whoever they are- they really hate themselves. And I just wanna help.” He gives a shrug and Matt feels his heart start to beat faster, “They tried to kill themselves a few years back- and I mean technically they did. I’ve never been as scared as I was when their mark went black. It was awful. You remember that night, James?”

Matt feels ready to throw up at the nod James gives- and even drunk James looks so sad. Matt wants to make their pain stop but instead he wills himself to stay still and faced towards his computer, mimicking editing the video in front of him- even as Joel speaks up.

“They don’t want us.” And it’s the way he says it, the defeat and tiredness that should make Matt guilty but all it does is bubble up something he has never felt before in its full form.

Matt feels angry. He feels hot bitter rage, and years of pent of animosity. His hands clench so tight around his mouse that it actually pops the plastic on one side and he’s shaking when he stands up.

It catches Lawrence’s attention and it must be his face or his movements but the other doesn’t say a word as Matt packs up to leave. He does however follow Matt out of the office, and it’s only once they reach the parking garage does he call out for Matt.

“We’re sorry for bringing that up in front of you, man.” And something about the tone Lawrence is using- doesn’t calm him down, it in facts just pisses him off more. Matt throws his laptop bag into the back seat of his car and slams the door,

“Yeah, why is that?” And he huffs out a sarcastic laugh and turns to look at Lawrence. The anger ebbs away when he sees the look on Lawrence’s face.

“Because you don’t have a solemate.”

Matt doesn’t say anything before he turns and gets into his car.

-

The next morning, Matt wakes up and makes the decision. The decision that today he would touch one of them, to see if this was real or just a cruel joke played on him but the universe.

It takes too long for all of them to get into work, but the second the last person is through the door (Sean), Matt has ditched his hoodie and is starting to sweat lightly. This was stupid- there was no possible way these people were his soulmates. But he hoped.

Matt hadn’t hoped for something in a very long time.

So he manages to swallow his nerves somehow and walk over to where Adam and Bruce are standing around Joel’s desk.

“What’s up, Peake?” Bruce asks and Matt suddenly doesn’t have words.

“Uh, I forgot.” And he ends up sitting at his desk berating himself for the next hour for being such a coward.

-

[Matt cries the next morning when he gets into the shower and finds various hand print shaped bruises on his hips and thighs].

-

It’s when his birthday rolls around that their in the office, it is the middle of a Tuesday and they’re all dicking around (Elyse visiting her boys during her lunch hour), and suddenly everyone is planning what to do for his birthday- that he just is overwhelmed by this urge to cry a little bit.

“What do you want for your birthday?” Elyse is giggy as she asks, bouncing on her toes and has her phone already open and Matt just answers the first thing on his mind.

“A hug.” He feels stupid the second he says it, but it’s true.

“A hug? What you’ve never been hugged or something?” James says, elbowing his double hoodie hidden- midsection and Matt sees no reason to lie to them. They’re his friends- his best friends. (His only friends).

“Never had one.” He shrugs as he says it, and instantly looks to the ground afterward. The silence that follows is awful, it makes Matt want to scream.

“Uh, I have a lot of editing to do. Anything you get me will be fine- and you know you don’t, uh, have to get me anything. Birthdays have never been a big deal.” He says it to them, still looking at the ground- before shuffling away and back to his desk.

-

His birthday comes and everyone ends up having a mini-party at the Willems’. Lawrence and Sean get him a support for his work chair- to help with the back pain that comes from editing. Elyse, James and Bruce get him various gag gifts (including but not limited to: a neon blue ball gag, flavored lube, and a 6 foot poster for the movie North), but actually buy him 10 various games, including one he had wanted as a kid but never got.

Joel gets him a Sega Genesis and a refurbished GameCube. And Matt has to blink away a small misting in his eyes.

Adam is the one who breaks the dam. All the other gifts having built up his want to cry- but Adam shatters it. Just breaks his resolve and causes it all to crash around him.

“It’s a lame gift.” Adam hands him the wrapped box with an awkward smile and rubs the back of his neck. And Matt mumbles some comment about how he sure its fine, and once he gets the paper off- he finds out it’s not a box but it is in all actuality a picture frame. A nice black simple frame, with a certificate inside of it.

Matt has to read the words about 10 times before he cognitively understands it, and when he does he just can’t help the tears. He tries to blink them away, but he just can’t.

“Oh God. I didn’t mean to make you cry!” Adam is freaking out, going to place a hand on his shoulder- but pulls it back. They all know how Matt is with touch. He hovers awkwardly, as Matt begins to sob.

Matt feels ridiculous as he sobs on the Willems’ couch, clutching the picture frame to his chest- but he can’t stop.

“This is,” He has to take a breath, “The nicest thing anyone ha-has ever done for me.”

And it takes a few minutes for him to calm down, and after he’s settled- James asks what Adam got him.

“He wouldn’t tell us.” And Matt just smiles and finally pulls the frame from his chest,

“A star.” Matt sniffles, “Adam bought me a star.”

And Adam, God bless him, looks so out of place and is blushing for God��s sake that Matt can’t seem to help himself.

Matt ends up chest to chest with Adam, the bulk of Matt’s 3 hoodies pressing gently against Adam’s t-shirt. And everyone is just dead silent as they watch the two of them. Matt’s still got tears drying on his eyelashes, and his nose is bright red- but Adam is looking at him like Matt is the most wonderful thing in the room- and it takes a moment for Matt to eventually raise a hand- and bring it just millimeters from Adam’s skin.

And they’re so close, they’re breathing each other’s air and it’s been 2 years and they’ve never touched. Matt has never showed any sign of wanting to touch them.

And then, much like Matt is- gent but firm, Matt presses his hand onto Adam’s face. And the smile that comes from the heat on their marks, is nothing short of magnificent.

“Is Matt-?” It’s Lawernce that whispers it, and Matt and Adam are still just staring at each other, Matt’s hand still on his face- even as Adam nods.

“Yeah.”

-

It takes no time at all for them to allow Matt to gently touch them- and by the end of the night all of their marks are a little darker.

“This is the best birthday I’ve ever had.” Matt mumbles, right before he falls asleep that night- tucked into the guest bed, and he feels someone pet his hair.

“This the best your birthday I’ve ever had, too.” And Matt gives a huff of a laugh and drifts off to the sound of Elyse berating James for being an idiot.

-

The next morning, Matt is officially a year older and he wakes up to the smell of he doesn’t know what, but it’s good.

He ends up stumbling downstairs, with bed tousled hair and sleepy eyes. And it earns him a coo from James- who he waves away instantly.

By the time he’s eaten and woken up- he notices that everyone’s stuff is still by the front door. And when he voices that to Elyse, who’s working at the dishes she gives him a sad sort of smile.

“We tried to get them to leave, but after last night they said they weren’t going anywhere without you.” And she’s nodding over the breakfast counter into the living room- the same living room Matt stumbled through half awake.

And he peaks his head over and wants to...He doesn’t know what he wants to do, but his heart does a little jump at the sight of his boys. His idiots.

Adam is on the couch, face pressed into the cushions and snoring ever so slightly, and right next to him, Lawrence is asleep in the arm chair.

It’s seeing Lawrence in the armchair that makes Matt frown and somehow he ends up gently nugging Lawrence awake and leading him upstairs to the bed that is now unoccupied.

Sean wanders down somewhere in the time Matt takes Lawrence’s glasses off and get him under the blankets.

It’s a nice morning. Very domestic and warm.

-

[Matt decides that he loves sleepy Adam, he also decides he does not like sleepy Lawrence as much].

-

They spend the entire day dicking around, and it’s only when Matt stands to help with the dishes that Sean lets out a little noise.

And Matt is stretching- arms reached out over him, and it’s too perfect not too. So sean quickly moves and wraps his arms around Matt. Smashing their chests together, and tucking his head into the space available by Matt’s neck.

And Sean feels Matt go still- and they’re the closest they’ve ever been- physically and emotionally. Sean can feel how fast Matt’s heart is beating. And just when Sean goes to move away and apologize, Matt is wrapping his arms around Sean in a grip that makes it seem like he’ll never let go of him.

They end up sitting on the floor- never once breaking the embrace. Sean ends up sitting in Matt’s lap while Matt hides his face in Sean’s shoulder. Sean’s sure he can feel wetness, but he doesn’t say anything.

No one else says anything about it, they just let it happen. Photos are taken- granted, but they all remember what Matt had told them.

“Never had one.”  

They all remember that up until this point Matt Peake had never had a hug.

-

They all spend the night again together, but this time Adam and Sean end up in bed with Matt- hugging him all through the night.

-

Matt comes to the boys, a few days later, during lunch- with a solemn expression. He sees them start to panic a little so when he speaks, he addresses it to Joel,

“I never wanted you to think, I didn’t want you. I wanted you very much. But…” Matt lets out a sigh and waves a hand tiredly, “You know. M’a little broken.”

And in a much softer voice adds, “Didn’t think you’d want me.”

And Matt won’t look at him, but he knows when Joel remembers what he’s talking about by the little ‘oh’. Matt is determined to stare at the floor, and anywhere away from their faces.

“Matt…” For once it seems as if Joel has no idea what to say but does what Joel does best:

Offer physical contact.

Matt sees the hand come into his view and tug him forward by the arm, and- oh-  Matt could really get used to this surprise hugging thing.

“We want you, Matt. Trust me. We do.” And Joel is petting the back of his head, and Goddamn Matt could totally get used to this surprise hugging thing.

-

Matt tells them about everything a few weeks later, over dinner at Lawrences. They all listen, only stopping to interrupt when it was obvious Matt was getting distraught.

“I didn’t put ‘monster’ there.” He’s crying again but he needs them to know that, “Some kids from my high school...They, pushed me down and did it. That wasn’t me.”

“Okay, sweetie. It’s okay. We believe you.” He ends up being curled between Elyse and Lawrence, mumbling out various words of comfort to him.

-

They move to Roosterteeth, and he follows of course. Matt would follow them where-ever they go.

-

Matt’s dad dies the next fall, and he kind of hates himself for not caring- but he spends the night curled on the couch watching movies with the people he was told he didn’t deserve and the guilt disappears.

-

[[The next time he finds bruises of handprints on his body- he smiles as he see’s the versions he has on himself.]]

[lair-of-books]

Top Ten Tuesday was created by The Broke and the Bookish in June of 2010 and was moved to That Artsy Reader Girl in January of 2018. It was born of a love of lists, a love of books, and a desire to bring bookish friends together. This weeks topic was a walk in the park cause I’m sure a lot of us have already started compiling & organizing our Goodreads shelves with 2020 titles. This will be the first year my list includes multiple genres & that’s because YA hasn’t been my primary focus. I still consume a fair amount of YA Fantasy however in an effort to continue reading what brings me joy in the new year, this list will be a mixed bag 😉

P.S. I sure did throw in 2 additional titles cause I just couldn’t stick to 10 #noregrets

The Girl and the Stars (Book of the Ice #1) by Mark Lawrence 

Releasing on 4/30/2020 is the next adult Fantasy series by the King himself Mark Lawrence! That cover is EVERYTHING! Mark Lawrence is one of my auto-buy authors. I don’t need to know much about the book & prefer to go in on good faith. I read just the one line on Goodreads that gave me all the chills & solidified its place on this list…

“In the ice, east of the Black Rock, there is a hole into which broken children are thrown.”

House of Earth and Blood (Crescent City #1) by Sarah J. Maas

Releasing on 3/3/2020 is Sara J. Maas 1st Adult Fantasy & for those of us who’ve read Maas YA Fantasy, the anticipation is pretty HIGH!

The story of half-Fae and half-human Bryce Quinlan as she seeks revenge in a contemporary fantasy world of magic, danger, and searing romance.

This one can go either way, Maas can either really kill it in Urban Fantasy or leave much to be desired. Either way, I will be picking up a copy to see for myself.

Wild at Heart (Wild #2) by K.A. Tucker

More Calla & Jonah?!? ummm YES PLEASE! 3/3/2020 is going to be one EPIC release day <3’s!  The Simple Wild (my spoiler free review) was one of my TOP favorite reads in 2019. I’ve been a K.A. Tucker fan for the past 4 years & there hasn’t been anything she’s written I haven’t enjoyed. Take me back to Alaska & I will unplug myself from reality for these 400 pages 😉

You Had Me at Hola by Alexis Daria 

I came from a generation where little girls watched telenovelas with grandma & it was perfectly normal haha! I myself have some really fond memories in fact of watching Spanish stories with G’ma & so seeing this cover stopped me dead in my tracks. “Perfect for fans of Jane the Virgin & The Kiss Quotient” this Own Voices Contemporary Romance is exactly what I would LOVE to see more of in the bookish world *fingers crossed* this book will hit shelves on 7/7/2020.

The Last Train to Key West by Chanel Cleeton 

6/16/2020 We head over to Fictional Key West to follow the lives of three women in the aftermath of a powerful hurricane. Set in the 1930’s this is one historical fiction stemming from the Cuban Revolution I am eager to read. I have copies of Next Year in Havana & When We Left Cuba  I still haven’t read but are at the VERY top of my TBR for 2020.

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

“He is trying to poison me. You must come for me, Noemí. You have to save me.

After receiving a frantic letter from her newly-wed cousin begging for someone to save her from a mysterious doom, Noemí Taboada heads to High Place, a distant house in the Mexican countryside. She’s not sure what she will find — her cousin’s husband, a handsome Englishman, is a stranger, and Noemí knows little about the region.”

Ok so everything about this author screams READ ME! & I’ve collected a couple of their books but I think I’ve allowed myself to be creeped out into thinking the writing might be too scary. Whelp! I simply can’t pass this one up with THAT cover! Set in Mexico, this MC doesn’t exactly scream rescuer material & yet I’m so down to see the type of amateur sleuthing sure to ensue in this Mexican countryside house. Still…this one does creep me out a smidge & I will be reading during the day.

  The Gilded Ones (Deathless #1) by Namina Forna 

“The start of a bold and immersive West African-inspired, feminist fantasy series for fans of Children of Blood and Bone and Black Panther. In this world, girls are outcasts by blood and warriors by choice.”

Releasing on 5/26/2020, The Gilded Ones looks absolutely promising! This one features a female army all of which have powers like our MC training to defeat the empires biggest threat but nothing & no one is as they seem. Super curious seeing as I’m a HUGE fan of both Children of Blood and Bone & Black Panther to which this new series has been compared.

The City We Became by N.K Jemisin 

Five New Yorkers must come together in order to defend their city in the first book of a stunning new series by Hugo award-winning and NYT bestselling author N. K. Jemisin.

Every city has a soul. Some are as ancient as myths, and others are as new and destructive as children. New York City? She’s got five.

But every city also has a dark side. A roiling, ancient evil stirs beneath the earth, threatening to destroy the city and her five protectors unless they can come together and stop it once and for all.

This fellow New Yorker CANNOT wait for 3/26/2020! N.K. Jemisin is yet another author I am prioritizing this year.

All the Stars and Teeth by Adalyn Grace

Mermaids and Pirates! oh my! legit two of my very favorite fictional beings. I know a few close friends have already reviewed their copies (I’ll be reading mine this month) & are giving it HIGH praise. After getting a taste of a underwater kingdom in Holly Blacks The Folk of the Air trilogy, I was left wanting more. I’m hoping this is the start of a new expansive underwater YA Fantasy, either way 4/4/2020 we take to the treacherous waters!

Undercover Bromance (Bromance Book Club #2) by Lyssa Kay Adams

The Bromance Book Club was a 2019 favorite for me & now we get more as we follow Braden mack & Liv Papandreas. This time around the club is not reading a regency romance, instead they’ll be reading a romantic suspense novel that ties in with this couples story. STOKED! I was blessed by the Book Gods with an early copy before its 3/10/2020 release date.

INCENDIARY (Hollow crown #1) by Zoraida Cordova 

Zoraida Cordova is quickly becoming a favorite auto-buy author, she won me over with her Brooklyn Burjas series & now this cover has blown me away! this one follows a female MC who has the power to steal memories which set the King upon her & her people. Now a rebel, our MC is helping others escape the Kingdom. When her love interest gets captured she has to maintain control of her need for vengeance while she infiltrates the Kingdom. I’m ready for 4/28/2020! *Heart Eyes* 

Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo 

Elizabeth Acevedo stole my heart with her raw narratives! This is one I CANNOT wait to get my hands on, 5/14/2020 cannot come soon enough. This time we follow two teens girls brought together by grief. One lives in the Dominican Republic & the other in NYC when they find out their father has passed away (ooooF! this will be triggering for me but if anyone can handle this with sensitivity it’s Acevedo) & that they’re sisters! Dual narrative POV’s, I’m pretty sure I’ll also be getting the audiobook to accompany my physical copy cause if ya didn’t know, Elizabeth Acevedo narrates her own books & she’s AMAZING! *STOKED*

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Top Ten Tuesday: Most Anticipated Book Releases for the First Half of 2020 Top Ten Tuesday was created by The Broke and the Bookish in June of 2010 and was moved to 

[raulf-o]

Bad Fiction Ep. 5 & 6 [Bonus Content]

Bad Fiction Ep. 5

“It’s been five years, two week and one day. This was the first time it snowed more than one night. I woke up to this beautiful sight of you and the snow covered houses and roads. I missed this.” I said, sipping my hot coffee.

“It must feel nice.” She replied.

“Yeah, I haven’t had this feeling since I killed Santa.” I say with a new found love for Christmas.

“I’m glad you can enjoy this time of the year again.” She said in a very relieved tone.

“Took me some time, glad I back.” I turn, looking at her… She was wearing a hoodie, holding her coffee mug, smiling.

“You know, since you’re back…” She said with a suggestive smile on her face.

“What? No…” I said in disbelief.

She took a step back and pouted, I didn’t know this would have such an effect on her.

“Come on, don’t be like this.” I said.

“Then satisfy me.” She said with a stern look on her face.

I was in shock, I didn’t know what to say.

“Please…” She begged.

I was frustrated, but determined to do it. I wanted this Christmas to be special. Something really special.

“Fine, let’s do this.” I said this knowing that the world would be turned upside-down.

She started smiling again, she started jumping on the bed, rushing towards the closet to get her clothes.

“I’ll be ready in five minutes, puddin’.” She said.

“Puddin’…” I say snickering. Why was she calling me that? I never knew why. And especially after all this time. Maybe it was just nostalgia. But I felt like I could laugh again. Really laugh. Let’s see if that’s what I need.

“I. Am. Ready!” She said way too enthusiastically. 

I was way too concentrated to noticed her outfit at first, or to listen to whatever she was saying. Suddenly my hearing comes back and I hear her…

“Come on, Puddin’. Why so serious? Can’t you smile for me?”

“Ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahaha. Merry Christmas, dear.” I say.

“That’s better. Now let’s go kill the new Santa, that’s my gift to you.” She says smiling from ear to ear. But I was afraid. I haven’t done this in quite a while…

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Bad Fiction Episode 6

Lawrence-Sama enters the room. Bruce is shook, trembling with fear at the size of his Sama’s Hatsune Miku.

Lawrence-sama: Bow to me.

Bruce-kun: Yes, master.

Lawrence-sama: Why isn’t my seat warm? You know how my Hatsune likes the sit!

Bruce-kun: Y-yes, I’m sorry. So, sorry.

As he takes his rightful place as the Captain of the SSFH, Lawrence-sama angered by the fact that Adamu and Jamesu weren’t at their posts, he uses instant transmission. Only two find the two of the cucking each other.

Lawrence-sama: What the fuck are you guys doing? We have to go to Animetion-5-Sektor. Why are you cucks cucking right now?

Adam: I’m so sorry, it’s just been so long.

James: You never give us any free time, we had to do something.

Lawrence-sama: Not in here, not right now. We’re on a very important mission right now!!! The fate of the Teeth of the Rooster are at fucking risk, you cucks.

All were very upset about this situation, not just due to the blue balls the three were having, but also because of the already huge amounts of the word “cuck” in this Bad Fiction Episode. As they went towards the command deck, Elyse suddenly emerged from the room… Angry… Hissing, as her blue skin was falling off, she went on a rampage. Kicking a box for thirty minutes, until a gentleman named Ben the Son came and calmed her down, by petting her head. We learned that she was mourning the death of Fart of the Hands, one of her best friends. He had died in a tragic accident whist giving her an abortion. Anyway, back on the command deck, Lawrence-sama finally calmed down too, as they set sail towards the Animetion-5-Sektor. Where Lawrence-sama was promised to marry a princess. Suddenly an SOS signal came through. It was the SS-Bungalow, Captain /\ had brought too much rhye and corn on board, with oates overflowing.

Lawrence-sama: What the fuck /\?! Didn’t I tell you not to do this anymore? This is what? The third time? God fucking damn it! I’m supposed to pick out my fucking waifu, not help you.

Bones: Ha! You mean like I picked your mom up?

Lawrence-sama: God damn it, Bones! Not now.

After five years in space, eating oats, rhye and corn, the SSFH was finally back on road. Shitting bricks, with no one able to cuck, fuck, suck or cum anything but fiber. Yet the one thing that they all noticed, it was that they got ripped, not jacked, but ripped.

They finally jumped to Animetion-5-Sektor, Lawrence’s Hatsune Miku was growing. They finally got there, it was everything he imagined. The physics, the shapes, the bounciness, the ratios, it was heaven. They finally landed the damn ship, after a few hours of roaming around looking at everything. As they landed a voice is heard: “You’re not the real one. I am.” In shock Lawrence-Sama looks around to find the source of the voice… It was a laptop.

Laptop IG: I am the original, I am the real one.

Lawrence-sama: No, no you are not! How dare you? I am!!! I am the quintessential gamer!!! You were no one!

Laptop IG: Join me, brothers, sister! You know I would never treat you like shitbags, like he does! You know where the glory days were! You know who’s the real one! The authentic one! The only one!

The two entered a starring contest… It was intense, the most intense competition of strength, wit and power.

The rest of the crew left… As the two have died of low blood sugar and running out of power consequentially.

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