#actually it's funny that there's no weird al in here but he's another one I always go back to :p

[maythearo]

" Welcome back to Night Raven College's 'Ghostly Gossip'! The school's unofficial main online source for the latest news, articles and trending topics circulating around campus! "

" Your eyes don't deceive you. He really is real. And an actual monster too, not just a 'weird looking dog', as those funny human legends say... "

Navigation:

R. Rosehearts - T. Clover - C. Diamond - A. Trappola - D. Spade - L. Kingscholar - R. Bucchi - J. Howl - A. Ashengrotto - J. Leech - F. Leech - K. Al Asim - J. Viper - V. Schoenheit - R. Hunt - E. Felmier - I. Shroud - O. Shroud - M. Draconia - L. Vanrouge - S. Zigvolt - Silver

Messy design notes:

I have mixed feelings over his design. On one hand, the outfit itself looks cool... and on the other hand it turned out to be nothing like what I had envisioned in the beggining 😭 I wanted to stick with muted colors, in the vibes of that pic next to howleen's I guess, but it's like Ruggie's design had a mind of its own, and would always lean to more punk-looking no matter how hard I tried to avoid it, which don't get me wrong- punk style does fit him well, the problem is that I had it reserved for another character already, and I wanted to repeat themes as little as possible between entries of this project.. that just may be my perfectionist side speaking though, and there is no reason why I shouldn't post this version here for the time being! If I don't get tired of working on this series by the time I finish all the main cast's designs, then I suppose I could try to make an alternative version of Ruggie with a slightly different theme! I'd do the same with Jamil's entry since he is yet another character I have mixed feelings about the design lol

Aaaanyway, the mood for chupacabra Ruggie is grunge/thrifted fashion with diy details he would add to make his looks feel unique to him I think? The spikes on his skin, although he can partially control (?) them, still get stuck on cloth every now and then. Nearly all items of his closet are a bit torn from it, but he doesn't mind all that much. I got no particular designs for the pins and badges he wears, maybe except for the brazilian flag and the trans pin which I rlly wanted to include somewhere on his clothes whsdbdshewbdi

The chupacabra's appearance vary from place to place, but for this, I based his looks on how I personally grew up hearing and imagining this creature to be like! Baisically a fucked up looking dog, sometimes with spikes and scales on its body? Yeah 👍

And he remains the same personality-wise in the AU, pretty much! At the moment I can't think of many fun facts or character quirks for him, aside from how impossible it is to take a selfie with him, much to Cater's dismay. He swears he doesn't do it on purpose! The moment the camera clicks his body moves on its own to be out of frame. Ruggie's entire instagram (or whatever the monster high equivalent of that may be) account are either pictures of a moving blur or a vaguely distinguishable sillouette of him, taken from far away and zoomed in 10x

I think that's all I remembered to say? Here's a Ruggie core meme I found on reels as extra content lol

[moon-mage]

LEOJAMI DETECTIVE AU

Oh whut I mustered up the strength to doodle for this oh my gooooosh. :O But yes, like I said earlier I have this whole twst magical detective/law type AU swimming in my brains and I need to let it out real quick. I'll go for bulletpoints since I think that would be the easiest to write out my thoughts without going on and on xD

Everyone would be like mid to late 20's adults here. I would say Jamil is 24, so following everyone's canonical age ranges Leona would be 27.

This would be a drama-comedy so the tone would fluctuate but when it's serious it's serious when it's not it's funny. uwu

I just totally imagine a scene where they're chasing a perpetrator through a fucking McDonalds and they climb into the kids play tubes to give chase and Jamil just flies in all nimbly and Leona tries it and gets his ass legit stuck while 3 year olds are fucking laughing at him.

On the opposite tone, in this world UM's are classified by how powerful and dangerous they are to the public...so it's mandatory for mages with high threat UM's to work in magical law enforcement. Punishment is basically they hand you over to STYX forever so uh...ruh-oh.

So Jamil is actually wearing glasses preventing him from using his UM. He has to take them off to use them. Leona is supposed to be wearing gloves but like come on it's Leona lmao he do what he want.

A lot of backstory elements will be somewhat the same, like Leona being a prince and Jamil being the property of the Al-Asim's but just like different. Night Raven College did not happen.

So basically Leona and Jamil were born and raised in their respective countries. Leona chose to leave home to come to Sage Island to work for their magical police force because he surely wasn't gonna stay with his brother and nephew. Jamil was transferred to Sage Island by his previous boss, Police Chief Al-Asim...because he had served his purpose in making his son a decent enough detective.

Sage Island's magical police force is...honestly the TRENCHES. All the weird and horrible things happen there magically and it's truly not for the faint of heart to work so close with high risk cases that occur there.

Basically you get sent to work there as a mage if someone is purposely trying to get rid of you...or you are really seeking them thrills.

Yes, Crowley is the guy in charge here so you know you're in the trenches. He still takes like 48 vacations a calendar year.

Jamil and Leona get partnered up and it's basically just Leona being grumpy old and jaded while Jamil is trying to prove himself to the max and thinks he knows it all. But they eventually come to an understanding and find a mutual respect for one another.

As soon as that happens Leona is basically like "you wanna sleep with me, Jamil. I know you dooo...i know you doooooooooo"

Jamil is in denial rewatches that "YOU BETTER NOT BANG YOUR COWORKERS" tiktok over and over and over...

He wakes up in Leona's bed anyway.

Jamil is thriving in the thrill and danger of the job that keeps his mind and body sharp and feeling some sense of freedom.

Leona finally feels a deep connection with someone again who he can be on the same level with and finds some purpose to wake up in the mornings.

Jamil and Leona are fucking happy with their second place lives because they have each other in it...in the good and the bad. The highs and the lows. They're there for each other.

They are both just as equally horrified about the fact they're falling in love and being all vulnerable and mushy with one another and actually enjoying life.

Seriously they are waiting for life to realize they're so happy and destroy their happiness as it always does.

Oh and the major bad guy is gonna be a TWST OF CLAYTON FROM TARZAN.

I have always wanted to twst him as an antag but it never felt right for him to be a student but an actual threat like Rollo or Fellow.

That's what I have so far uwu <3

[nny11writes]

I don't use spotify soooooo, here's 10 tunes from my phone I guess???? I skipped when my phone decided to give me FIVE SEPARATE CARAVAN PALACE SONGS in the shuffle back to back because I swear I listen to more than them lol

Lone Digger - Caravan Palace

Pump Up Japan - DEADLIFT LOLITA

Who is in your heart now? - Studio Killers

Ghosts - Ibeyi

Shallows - Daughter

Xanny - Billie Eilish

Sweet Adeline - Avriel & the Sequoias

Window Talk - Timber Timbre

Easier Said - Alessia Cara

Bushes of Love - Bad Lip Reading

Bonus Round Picks From YouTube

Since a lot of the ones above have shown up multiple times in music games, I just don't update my music that often lol, here's some rando songs I return to all the time it feels like!

Bloodborne - The Bloodborne OST

Bloodborne Suite - Swedish Radio Symphony Orchestra (I was torn so you get both)

Big Beat - Touch and Go

Female only instrumental rise up dead man - Hunt Showdown OST

Isobel - Björk

Sinner - Neil Finn

Oh My My - Jill Barber

Tumbleweed - Avi Kaplan

Mystery - Gary Stadler with Stephannie

Habibe -Big Blue Ball (Check out the album if you haven't lotta fun cross cultural music on it!)

Tagging anyone who wants to play, and no pressure tagging @thebravething, @dontcallmebugaboo, @xyeik, @laas-yahnir, @lightasthesun, and @neurovascular-entrapta

shuffle your On Repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs that play, then tag 10 people

Ough I haven't done a tag game in so long thank you @grand-theftautumn!

Call Me Little Sunshine - Ghost

MIENTRAS ME CURO DEL CORA - KAROL G

The Whole "Being Dead" Thing - Beetlejuice

Carsick - K. Flay

It's Tough To Be A God - Annapantsu

BABY SAID - Måneskin

Mentía- Miranda!

Kiss the Go-Goat - Ghost

Mayores - Becky G

Go With The Flow - Bug Hunter

I'm gonna tag @weirdoughnut (because of course), @venn364, @xormak, @alilfroginacove, @mang0-queen, @glitrahasconsumedme, @higher-than-the-skye, @hedge-bones, @overnightmask, and @johnnythewolfkid13!!

[moe-broey]

I hope you feel better soon!!! Telepathically blowing up covid with my mind.

Got a simpler ask this time. Think the Askr crew have any nicknames for each other? The idea occurred me because I thought it would be funny if the summoner never EVER refers to Veronica by her full name. It started as a bit to annoy her but naturally became part of their dynamic. I think this group of weirdos deserve more quirks like that with their dynamics with each other.

TBANK YOU...... I am actually starting to feel better now!!! It must have been your power.... or just the passage of time and lots of rest.

I did... WAY too much here and got really off topic and Moe did take over. I'm so sorry. I barely control that thang. But also!!! A lot of these ideas have lived in my mind for a long time now, I just never got around drawing them out! I'm. Gonna try and organize this the best I can, bc I have SO much to say and it all kinda flows into each other...

This will be one half comic collection, one half character analysis and headcanons. Ready... GO!

FIRST OF ALL. THAT IS SO FUNNY. AND SO REAL. I can ABSOLUTELY see Kiran doing this. If you're a responsible adult figure in a kid's life, no matter the context, you Have to find harmless ways to annoy them. You have to find the bit, and commit to it. Just, um... well under most circumstances, said kid doesn't wield magic and have a giant spikey crown (making for lethal headbutts). So just be careful out there. 🫡

As for Moe... it kind of lacks that quality. Always a bit too in its head, often floundering in one way or another. Moe tends to love at a distance, has a lot of trouble expressing it, and often decides, well. It's just not my place. It seems especially standoffish about Veronica... it can't help but see its younger self in her. In more ways than one. Ultimately, it would avoid giving her a nickname, as a show of respect (it knows she wouldn't like that). It will speak extremely affectionately and highly of her behind her back, but minds its place to her face.

The fun thing about Alfonse's name is that you can extrapolate one thousand variations of it. Which is exactly what Moe does once it gets comfortable with him. And given enough rapport, Alfonse will happily respond to every single one (... except Alfonso). Al is the most casual nickname, that doesn't turn any heads. Allie seems to be the most favored one! (By Moe, or by Alfonse....? Or by Alfonse, as a consequence of Moe's liking for it?)

Sharena's name lends itself well to nicknames too! But Moe seems to exclusively go for Shari. EXTREMELY EXCITED at this show of friendship, Sharena tried her best to return the favor... but it didn't quite stick!

(As a side note! I wish I could have drawn more interactions here... just them going in circles mirroring each other. And one panel that would have been so sweets and speaks to Moe's character... snippet from my notes:

[Both of them become crestfallen.

Moe perks up a little. "'s fine. You can jus' stick to Moe. It is the name I chose, after all." <- It says this with an air of pride]

But I worked too cramped and didn't have the space to include it! 🥲💔)

LASTLY. Okay I have something really specific going on in the back of my head, here. But Lif does not tolerate nicknames. At the first whiff of it, he's shooting it down. This isn't a case where you can playfully get on his nerves and maybe eventually with enough time he softens to it. No. He isn't just being a killjoy about it, either. He... has his reasons. Don't press it.

OKAY. GRABS MOE W A CANE AND YANKS IT OFFSTAGE. GET OUTTA HERE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

-

PART 2 OF THIS POST. Just a liiiiittle analysis and some headcanons!!!!

First. Of course. Alfonse. This is my stance. I feel very strongly about this. But Alfonse is NOT the type who uses nicknames. He doesn't do petnames, either. He is a man of many adjectives and weird relationships with titles. What does this mean?

Alfonse will use a title to refer to someone, to keep his distance. Up until somewhere along the way he catches a snag and suddenly he's romanticizing the title. Now the title holds a Weight to it. An emotional significance. The title is now a term of endearment. Unless if it isn't. The title is used for exclusively practical reasons. The title is a show of respect, to honor the individual in question. It means nothing. It means Everything.

LIKE. LIKE. When he's not being Weird about titles (using a title to keep himself emotionally distant from the receptient), he's. Being Weird about titles (using them to express WHAT that person Is to him, what that means to him, and how he feels!!!!). ADD IN THE ADJECTIVES. He fucking LOVES to use adjectives in place of nicknames/petnames. He is just a wordy fella. You can even catch him getting silly with it, if the mood strikes him. WAY over the top, doing Way Too Much.

Off the top of my head I don't have many examples. They come to me in visions and are gone as soon as they came. But. My fellow associate. My brother in arms. My deeply valued and highly esteemed comrade. My cherished partner (... trusted partner, even). My dearly beloved friend. My friend. HEAVY emphasis on "My Friend". Somehow, that's like a declaration of love from him. Unless if it isn't. "My Friend" still carries SO much meaning to him, though.

Honestly writing this out I'm realizing Alfonse is just the king of taking words that mean something and then making them mean something else. Imbuing his own meaning to it, between the lines. Hiding behind it. HE IS ALSO. THE KING. OF PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. Alfonse asks "Is anyone going to endlessly complicate the situation or" and doesn't wait for an answer.

ONE NOTE. Is how titles are used as formalities, and how he's also just always so ready to drop them. You kinda have to play this by ear, considering the context of the interaction... really, whether or not he uses a title, and How he uses that title, is extremely reflective of his current emotional state. Can be reflective of the stakes, and the nature of the relationship too. Like the many occasions where he first meets a Hero, and both decide to be on a first name basis fairly quickly. Then you have his whole "The Summoner" vs saying their name, deal. And then you have whatever I'm cooking, here.

AND. AND. DON'T MISS IT! THAT IS THE FINAL PIECE I NEGLECTED TO MENTION UNTIL NOW! NAMES!!!!! A person's name holds SO MUCH EMOTIONAL WEIGHT. TO HIM. When he calls someone by name, it Means something to him. Which to me, lends to the idea that he wouldn't come up with a nickname for someone, himself. If they standardly use a nickname, he'll probably use it. Then, you have the added intimacy of the full name. But to me. What makes the most sense for his character, is that he ascribes meaning to names and titles.

The ONE. "Petname" I will accept, from Alfonse. Is "My love". Because that does feel in-line with everything I've said here. It becomes something of a title, itself. But even then, when I play it out in my head, it's always said as part of something greater, building UP to something, instead of being the main goal??? Like. To me, forever and always. "My friend" will ALWAYS hold way more emotional weight. Anything with too much of a romantic connotation to it just falls flat, ESPECIALLY on its own. Like NO........ they're MORE than that..... it's More Complicated than that...... you can't just reduce them to something so clean-cut. Dare I say normative... <- guy who has problems and complexes voice

That is. VERY MUCH just how I personally feel. Because I have something wrong with me. I'm fucked up and evil. Sick and twisted, even. (... or possibly aromantic.) Moving on!

-

MY FINAL THOUGHT. Is how does all this factor in, between Alfonse and Sharena? Well! To be so real I got so distracted I think I'll just barely edit these notes. And give you some screenshots about it.

When talking to Sharena, he may call her "sister" or "my sister" as like. Terms of endearment. Which is ironic a bit, in how they do come off as a bit stilted and distant. I can also see him getting extra about it though... him calling her, "my sweet sister" / "my beloved sister" either in moments of vulnerability OR. Moments before disaster (VIOLENCE....). Also "my little sister" as a term of endearment...

Also! Supporting this idea, one canon instance where he simply calls her "sister":

And!!! Both Alfonse and Sharena do the "call your sibling by their title as a term of endearment" thing. Sharena's version is a little less stilted than Alfonse's, but still may come off as odd to someone not too familiar w them (her, often calling him "big brother". Many canon instances of this!)

IT'S A SITUATION OF. Well for one I think it would flow a lot better in Japanese tbh, where honorifics like that are not out of the ordinary, they're standard. Where at most it's just a bit of a childish way to refer to him, almost reads like a childhood nickname that stuck??? (I think it depends on what variation of it you use, too. I'm only a little bit familiar w it!). But the thing is. The other half of this thought. It's a situation of "No Normal Person Talks Like That" BUT. If a character DOES. That's noteworthy and says something about them. And I think this goes for both of them! It speaks to the strict and formal environment they were raised in. If Sharena ever had a nickname for Alfonse that wasn't "big brother", it's probably gone now.

Also... another odd thought.... this sort of absence and emotional distance between them (esp early on, also citing Dragalia Sharena "I never bonded with my brother in such a fashion" and the Rosado FBs). That's your Brother. That's what he is, so you call him that. He calls you by title. That's what you are, he acknowledges that. That's what ties you two together. It's supposed to mean something. I'm supposed to mean something, to you. You're supposed to mean something, to me. These titles are proof of that. The blood we share is a bond, in and of itself. Emphasize it enough and maybe we can manufacture something, here.

ACTUALLY.... AAUGHH.......... OKAY NOW I'M CONSIDERING PEONY. HOW THE CHANGELING TWIST FACTORS INTO THIS. BECAUSE. BECAUSE. It's SHOWN that Sharena/Peony has informal titles/nicknames for family on Triandra's side.

Their father wasn't Father (like Gustav), he was Papa. Triandra wasn't sister or big sister, she was sis.

Aaaand that's where my brain short-circuited, blew up caught on fire and charred to a crisp. Sad! But SURELY. This, and EVERYTHING ELSE. Might give some pointers...?

LIKE. MAYBE THE CONSENSUS HERE. Is maybe Sharena did have a nickname for Alfonse, and in general is more likely to use nicknames. Maybe at one point it was "corrected" out of her when it comes to Alfonse, and now it would feel unnatural to do so. Meanwhile, Alfonse never really had any nicknames for her, but always has and still does use her name with So Much emotional weight. Plus the titles and adjectives. The FOCAL THING. About the Askr siblings. Is that they both adore each other SO much, but neither really know how to express it. There is an undeniable emotional distance between them. I feel like, taking this angle with them... the stiltedness, the forcing of affection that's already there, just somehow out of reach or beyond their grasp. I think writing them like this captures that.

I'll. Leave you to decide where Anna fits into any of this. And anyone else. I'm down for the count. To dust.

FINAL FINAL DISCLAIMER. You can take any of this or leave it! These are just the things that run through my head, when I write The Character... I really hope this answered. Anything. At all. Parse through my scatterbrained visions boy...... GOOD LUCK 🫡👍 (AND THANK YOU!!!!! FOR THE ASK!!!!!!!! Enrichment...... much needed in these trying times......)

[liamsyux]

ANDERPERRY ONE SHOT bc i’m going crazy (it’s bad and cringe BUT IT’S A MODERN HIGHSCHOOL AU CMON)

(also english isn’t my first language and i didn’t even try to write that good)

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

the first time todd anderson saw neil perry was on the first day of school. he arrived early and when he entered the classroom and right away sat on the desk near the window, he noticed a certain brown-haired guy. the guy had a smile that could light up an entire room and his eyes were simply filled with the purest joy ever. todd found himself staring at the guy, and when their eyes met, todd felt like he was being teleported to another planet. he flushed and suddenly looked down not caring whether the guy was still staring at him or not.

he found out later the guy’s name was neil perry.

weeks passing todd was crushing more and more on the brown haired guy; he was smart, cute, funny and well-cultured. the only problem was that they never actually spoke to each other. and that was, todd was sure of it, because neil didn’t actually seemed to enjoy todd presence in the class.

when their eyes met he always looked away first (strange thing to say when the other guy is todd fucking shy anderson), when todd rarely spoke up in class he seemed to didn’t care at all about what he was saying (also strange because he always cared about what their other classmates had to say) and every time todd started a absolute necessary conversation, he was always trying to get away as soon as possible.

so, for todd anderson, that wednesday was the weirdest day in his life.

the morning was pretty fine actually; he took notes, he listened, he did everything regular. and so, as every other day, when the bell rang, he took his time to pack his stuff away and saw all his other classmates rushing out of the door. all, except one. neil fucking perry. now the only possibilities that came up in todd’s mind where all concerning him being in the wrong and perry having something to say.

what he did not in fact expect was to see a flushed neil with in his hands god knows what, walking towards him.

“erhm todd?”

todd felt his face heat up. neil never called him, let alone called him by his first name.

kinda scared and anxious todd tried to say something normal, without sounding weird.

“yes?”

his voice was low and he felt very insicure. what the hell was going on.

“s-sorry for bothering you, i know you probably would have preferred being alone and pack away your stuff but t-there’s something i-i gotta tell you”

neil kept walking towards todd’s desk as he spoke leaving todd wide eyed, he never seen and heard neil talking and approaching someone with that little confidence.

“n-no don’t worry about that” he said actually sounding very confident.

todd thought neil didn’t like him at all or at least did not like him enough to be friends with him (ne was friends either basically everyone); so the things neil said to him in that empty classroom left him astonished.

“listen i’m sorry if this sounds weird or i don’t know creepy but” he looked up directly into todd’s eyes “i-i really like and i’d feel really honored if you would want to maybe get a coffee with me sometimes! he-here’s my number if you maybe want to text me your answer, or you could just ignore everything don’t worry” and neil left on todd desk a piece of paper, with in fact a cellphone number written on it.

todd was completely astonished. he looked at neil with wide eyes and mouth open.

“i’m sorry, w-what?” he said. it’s not like he didn’t hear him c’mon, neil was basically screaming, he just did not understand.

“shit sorry don’t worry about it i’ll just leave” neil whispered already making his way out.

“i-i thought you didn’t like me” todd said, his voice almost a whisper.

“what?”

“like you befriended everyone in the class except me a-and you never listen when i say something to the teacher o-or you always look away when our eyes randomy mert; i-i just thought you didn’t think i was nice” todd almost shouted.

“WHAT?”

neil ran right away to todd’s desk resting his hands on it.

“i-i’ve liked you since the first day, shit i’m sorry i made you feel like-like i hated you or something”

todd looked at neil like the words he just said were gold falling from the sky. neil looked at him and the kept staring at each other for a while.

“actually i’ve wanted to get some coffee with you since the first day, neil. i like you too” todd revealed with a soft smile.

now was neil turn to be completely in disbelief. seeing todd smiling though made him chukle and smile.

“oh yeah?”

[artbyfinnbrown]

Screenshots of my favourite moments from Re:Zero Arc 7 (Part 1):

Todd, it’s chapter 7. You don’t even hate Subaru yet. Why are you already talking about things that could potentially act as parallels to Return by Death?

This death (and the subsequent loops that follow) is probably my favourite sequence of Subaru deaths. I had to do a double take reading this when I realized that the words had started repeating. It starts so suddenly.

I love the O’Connell siblings. Nothing bad better happen to these to or I will be very upset.

“No trust me, I have to keep using the girl voice, it’s about staying in character” Sure buddy, whatever you need to say to feel better about yourself.

So I know this is meant to be screenshots of my favourite arc 7 moments, I guess this is also screenshots arc 7 moments that just make be feel sad and go “Aw, Man”

Wow, Subaru, you’re weirdly into making sure your boobs seem real. I wonder if that means anything.

Priscilla is weirdly one of the characters that seems to be most okay with Subaru’s crossdressing. She’s still mocking him, but she’s not mocking him for crossdressing, she’ll mocking him for being Subaru. She basically says “Yeah you’re a pretty hot woman. Unfortunately, I know your true cringe nature, so your good looks have no effect on me”.

Al. How many times did you die Al.

HA.

“I’ll fill you in on the correct information about Natsumi next time”. This implies that Subaru has Natsumi Schwarz lore that he actively maintains, which is incredibly funny (and also shows just how much dedicated he is to the Natsumi Schwartz persona)

Abel: Good that you’re here Priscilla. I assume you brought troopS with you to help support my cause? Priscilla: Nope! Just me and these 3 useless men I got to follow me around. Abel: Abel: Girl I am trying to retake a nation here-

I really like what arc 7 does with Priscilla’s character. Because arc 3 really just sets her up as an arrogant asshole. And arc 7 never disproves that, she’s still an arrogant asshole. But she’s an arrogant asshole who cares some very specific people.

On my first readthrough, this just seems like another instance of Subaru and Abel’s banter. However knowing everything there is to know now about Vincent and China’s relationship… yeah, it makes sense why Abel might not want people to talk about Chisa betraying him.

“Either is fine” She says. Okay sure thing buddy (Googles “What is Bigender” on a separate tab)

Damn Rem, I’m pretty sure killing him would have inflicted less psychological damage at this point. I do think it is interesting that despite being unfriendly towards Subaru for most of the arc so far, Rem does try to help him by trying to make him feel less guilty about not being able to save everyone. Unfortunately, she had no way of knowing that Subaru was basing a large amount if his self-worth off the belief that Rem thinks of him as a hero, leading this to backfire.

Those are some great questions about Al being brought up. Does he know about Return by Death? Does he have an ability like it? If He does, why wasn’t he able to prevent the loss of his arm? NOW IF ONLY HE WOULD GIVE US SOME ACTUAL ANSWERS-

I don’t know how to feel about the fact that horses exist in the Re:Zero world. I always assumed that Land Dragons just filled the role that horses did in this world. So that fact that there are actual horses feels kind of weird. I don’t like it . Unless horses have always been a thing in Re:Zero and I just somehow never noticed. Does anyone else think that horses existing in Re:Zero is weird? maybe it’s just me.

I mean, I could do an analysis on Natsumi Schwartz, but at this point I feel like Re:Zero tumblr has analyzed Natsumi to hell and back, so I don’t know if there’s really anything meaningful I could add at this point. I’ll leave it at this: At minimum he’s a Drag Queen, and at maximum she’s a trans woman, with the truth probably being somewhere in between those two extremes.

On its own this is nothing. The fact that Subaru says this right after the story refers to Natsumi Schwartz as Subaru’s “ideal self” is what really gives me the sad “Aw, man” feeling.

No Abel was right I don’t think that deserved a response.

AL GODDAMMIT HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU DIE THIS TIME YOU CRYPTIC MOTHER-

Anyway, expect part 2 of this post soon.

[dtmsrpfcringe]

Okay so the “Michael” was truly bizarre, amr?

Also. Please don’t lump me in with queer anon here because I currently rent real estate on planet earth and do not make it my life’s mission to destroy GT or AL or like… violently RPF ship D/M. Just not a thing I do to try to psychoanalyze these strangers or weave a narrative with very flimsy and very very cherry picked strings.

Disclaimer done.

But I DO kind of feel like the “silly little jabs is our love language and it’s funny and silly and cute and all in good fun” bit is wearing on me. It was all fine. All of it. Until this sandals video 😂😭 like, Georgia, I do not hate you or think you’re evil or your marriage is a sham. However. Let’s just say I would not be UNHAPPY to see Georgia UNCOMMIT to this particular bit of videos of her taking the piss out of David.

I don’t even follow them anywhere bc tumblr is my only social media so I’m not hunting them down or anything it’s just, you know, fandom tumblr dash content.

I think maybe it’s a matter of personal preference rather than me making any kind of broad statement about their relationship here. But it was the first time I ever got actually “annoyed” vibes from him in one of her vids. Which happens with couples obviously whatever. It just felt not good to watch that one.

And maybe because for the first time it DID send me psychoanalyzing?!! like… oh man. Which again I guess is a me problem.

Here’s hoping that it was just a normal couple having a grumbly moment video bc the rest of the time they seem fine and it isn’t even my business anyway. Except for the fact that he … legit seemed annoyed in this one and I just wish she hadn’t posted it because I can’t unsee that 😬

Please give me your wisdom in this momentary crisis of faith.

honestly I think that he wasn't actually annoyed. If he was he wouldn't have posed for a photo of his shoes and socks, or grinned as he walked in front of her. I just see it as a funny little video and I think that's all anyone should really get out of a <10 second video of a couple who's been together for 16 years and have a collective of five children. Whatever they do clearly works for them and it's very obvious that they both have a humorous relationship. I think another thing to remember here is that Georgia is ND and a lot of ND humor can come off a little coarse (I would know🐀😭)

Also, they've been together for a very long time and no relationship is ever perfect and it is very important to remember this! Hope this helps anon.

Also...yeah the "Michael" was so weird

[the20thcenturykid]

I was thinking about something... We know that both Lilith and Alastor were missing for the last 7 years and we have confirmation that Lilith is now in heaven and from Alastor breakdown in finale that his powers are somewhat compromised, limited (what could also add to the reason why he lost to Adam, since as prideful as Al is he couldn't fathom loosing to him even when not on his full power) and that his deal is part of it, probably even cause.

Soooo, long post theory ehead.

Leading theory is that Alastor made not so good a deal with Lilith but! When? If it happened during those 7 years would Husk know about it at all since it looks like Alastor might not even be able to talk about it? (Again, his pride and hubris but it also looks like he isn't allowed to say much about those 7 years) I highly doubt Alastor had some heartfelt conversation about that somewhere during those 6 months of show, especially if he really cannot say much about it so... Husk shouldn't know much.

What if the deal itself is old news and recent development was just part of it? Since he played with some voodoo during his lifetime it's not out of question he made it even before his death or right after since from the beginning he was able to take down overlords one after another. Also - did Al actually sold his soul or someone pulled on him "power for tiny favour in future" ploy? Or both?

The question of why he's engaging with the Hotel's plot is also on, because as honestly compelling is the idea he was just bored we can be sure it's just an excuse and he has way bigger plans.

Alastor was and is the hunter.

He also can probably destroy souls. He threatened Husk to do so, since overlords he killed disappeared completely they could get this fate. Normally when the human soul gets killed in hell they come back sooner or later but not when killed by angels and apparently Alastor if he decides to do so.

Now to the point - I have weird feelings that his deal isn't with Lilith but rather this "future favour" is somehow connected to her and probably she's its target. What if she messed with the one who owns Alastor's soul and he was sent to silence her? From the start - I don't know if Alastor is/was strong enough to kill an ancient demon queen even with extra power from his "benefactor" but if so it would be wise to hide from demon who's hunting her in only place he would never be able to go - in heaven.

Now, why is Alastor supposedly weaker if he's to take down Lilith? BECAUSE HE FAILED and this is his punishment for that. Why was he missing for the whole 7 years? Was he searching for Lilith? Yeah, for that I have no fucking idea to be honest. Idk, he tried to break into heaven by force and accidentally fell into limbo between heaven and hell and just got out after 7 years and Lilith not sure where he is didn't want to leave her safe haven for which she probably paid quite a big price (probably part of the deal which Lute mentioned at the end of season). Idk, that would be funny.

This all could quite well fit the reason why Alastor is so interested not only in the Hotel but most importantly in Charlie. As redemption might be a way to enter heaven I doubt Al would even consider going through it, but just knowledge if it's possible for demon souls to go there would be some hint how to exploit this possibility to get to Lilith. But the most important part here is Charlie. She's still young and finding her footing and how's the best way to get her trust? Help her grow and achieve her goals. Alastor went for some lengths to gather some trust and by how everyone reacted for his comeback at the end it looks like aside from Lucifer and Husk he bought some of it from them. And there's also a question of Charlie's deal. "Favour where she doesn't have to harm her friends"? Maybe some footing for the way to lure Lilith out of heaven or find his way there to get her by himself.

So why doesn't Alastor just use Charlie now to lure Lilith out? If he threatened to harm Charlie who's still discovering her own power her mother should come running to help her child? Well judging from outside sources about Al and his personality he isn't as cold blooded as one might think and even when he was alive he had his code. Afterall using hostages is quite low blow, so he's trying to avoid it by manipulating Charlie into trusting her. This is also the reason why he hated Lucifer's involvement so much - he's another obstacle and actually quite problematic. One thing is to manipulate the young one to get to the ancient demon queen, the other to try to manipulate the young one in front of their father to get to the ancient demon queen who happens to be said fathers wife (ex?).

And now for the finale and his breakdown. One thing is his pride was just completely slaughtered by Adam, he's losing control, he's not only weaker than someone, but even weaker than he himself thought (and just a few hours earlier he was making fun of Adam for his hubris and just got the biggest UNO reverse card in his afterlife). Also, he realised that he almost died in an attempt of protecting Hotel and its residents. No matter if they are just means to the end, if he's accidentally creating himself a new obstacle on the way to his prey by getting attached to them and most importantly Charlie using them will be way more difficult. He's scared of showing any weaknesses, and here he showed not only that he isn't as powerful in fight as he seemed but now feels emotionally vulnerable. And he hates it so much.

SOOOOOOOOOO

One last thing. Who's the person with whom Alastor made a deal? Since he gained the skill of destroying souls one might think it's some angel, but then heaven wouldn't be so safe for Lilith. So probably Roo, the Root of whole evil that was teased here and there by Viv for some time. If so

[ofallthingsnasty]

This is highly unlikely to happen BUT imagine the show Wife Swap (old american reality show from the early 2000s). I never saw a single episode and don’t intend to but the premise is simple (and really weird lmao): two wives from vastly different families swap households for a while. Shenanigans ensue.

Anyways, there is not a chance in hell Crocodile would let his basement wife anywhere near Doflamingo, but imagine some devil fruit fuckery swaps basement wife and the family pet temporarily. Everyone, except for Doflamingo maybe, will be having a really hard time until wife and pet can be located and brought back to their proper places

Oh, anon if only you knew - the German version was a huge part of my tween years, mainly because of one specific meme that came out of it (Frauentausch-Andreas)💀 The thought is so fucking funny, though. Idk what it is about dark content with a crack-treated-seriously twist, but it makes me laugh.

tw. crack treated seriously, noncon (only for Doffy), basement wife is fat + fem, family pet is gn as always

Oh my god, call that basement wife's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. You thought your cartoonishly evil pseudo-husband was bad? Hah, you know absolutely nothing, you stupid little thing. When Doflamingo scrapes you out of the crate instead of his little bipedal dog, he's confused - but he can put two and two together, and quickly at that. Obviously, you're not some assassin (really, what kind of strategy is that? Killing one of his family, making the body disapear and then wait for him to appear? Hilariously bad, honestly), not some spy and you really, really aren't the one who's supposed to sit in that cage. And when you start crying the moment he asks you what the hell you're doing here, he knows this isn't intentional. At all. Another once-over, a look at your weird little outfit, at the clunky stone on your hand and it clicks - he only knows one man with a similar taste in clothing and jewelry. Would you look at that, it's Crocodile's well-kept (and apparently not-so-little) secret. Reality can be stranger than fiction, huh? He's real nice after that epiphany. Too nice. Sits you down with a cup of tea like you're old friends, seats himself across from you, legs perched on the table while he smiles. Chats. Laughs. Acts overly familiar. It's bizarre to witness - but he's trying to glean what exactly you, the little teary-eyed butterball you are, offer Crocodile over him. Really, he's a little hurt: you're drab and soggy and soft in more ways than one, you cower and snivel in front of him like some beaten dog. The only fact that saves you from being mind-numbingly boring is that you're immensely valuable to Crocodile - and it makes ideas pop up in his head. He really likes the way you're stunned into silence when he suddenly uses his powers to immobilize you, right as you're in the middle of talking. And he gets why Crocodile keeps you around when you're bent over the table and he fucks you until you're just a sobbing mess. It's at least a little different from his usual endeavours and he takes his sweet time with you, leaves some evidence for the other man to discover later on. Once the mix-up is solved, Doflamingo hands you back dressed entirely in pink and with a thousand yard stare in your eyes. Will ask Crocodile about you every time he sees him from then on, a shit-eating grin on his face while the other almost loses it.

On the other hand, family pet does pretty well, considering the circumstances. I'd even argue it's the best you've been in years - because someone is treating you like an actual person, for once. Even if they aren't being kind. Crocodile is wary, of course - every single member of Doflamingo's posse is not to be taken lightly - but he also knows you. The fucking bird dragged you into official meetings enough for you to be a familiar face to him. He's furious, seething, beyond angry - but it's not necessarily directed at you. Doflamingo has to be behind all of this, he's sure of it, and you're just the collateral. (Admittedly, weird collateral, as you're the apple of Doflamingo's eye, always kept on his arm, cooed at, just treated like some ghoulish human pet, but who knows how the bird works? He sure as hell doesn't.) He'll probaby try to squeeze some information out of you (and when that doesn't help, he'll just plop you into a seastone cage and try to solve the mystery on his own. Yeah, he almost killed you minutes before - but then again, maybe you're worth something? He can always get rid of you later, maybe you do still have some value... He's feeling a lot of emotions, give him a minute.) Really, it's not that bad. You've been through worse. When everything is cleared up, I think he'd even let you take a bath and feed you a proper meal (on a plate!! A plate! Not a bowl!) before he'll trade you back in for his weirdly apathetic looking wife...

[golbrocklovely]

Your respond made me question if those “fans” will ever accept Sam’s new partner that is not Katrina (or Colby lol). The way i see it even Malia was more welcomed than Katelyn (although both of them had a cold start). I think nowadays i see more people loving Malia and actually accepting her, than hating on her. Thing that I fear Kateyn would not be ale to achieve if she stayed. And my only reason for that it’s because people felt too attached to Katrina, even people who supposedly “hated her” or claimed she is “using Sam” got used to her just being there and being Sam’s gf that i fear they will never let that go (especially that if i am not wrong Katrina is still single) and every other Sam’s new gf will be compared to Katrina and hated by the fandom, because for them “Katrina and Sam are clearly MADE for each other 😣”. I mean some people still act like she is Sam’s gf or like she is meant to come back, because “it’s her place”. So in that matter i kinda pity Sam.

i mean… that's kinda how i feel tbh lol

(another ramble session from me, sorry in advance)

the sam and kat thing is very odd to me, especially when you see fans say "he'll never do better than her". first and foremost, i get being upset that they ended, sure. but saying that sounds gross to me for some reason. like i think you can lift up kat and say she's gonna have a good life without him and will eventually find love without saying that he somehow is never gonna be happy again. that type of behavior and thought process is so childish. it's not like he was abusive, he broke up with her bc he just couldn't marry her and making her wait even longer would have been worse for their relationship.

while it's clear they aren't on the best of terms anymore, i think hating him (or her, bc god knows she gets hate too) is just weird. you don't have to hate either of them. their relationship didn't end in flames or bc they hate each other. you don't have to make it a versus all the time. there is no winner in this outcome.

as for katelyn and malia… the issue is messy. personally, i think both girls got the short end of the stick. they both got a crazy amount of hate (and malia still does) and i expected part of that to happen eventually when colby got a gf, but i think bc kat wasn't with sam anymore, it became like a shit storm instantly since it wasn't just colby getting a gf.

katelyn had so many lies spread about her in relation to kat it's not even funny. ppl were claiming they were friends before and thus she took sam from her (not true at all. they did possibly follow one another before hand, but their only connection was tess, who wasn't exactly bffls with kat). ppl claimed katelyn talked badly about kat, even tho all the clips i've seen have been not even remotely noteworthy, let alone something to throw hate at her for. i kinda think the reason why katelyn got a lot of hate is bc, as i've said countless times before on here, this fandom has an inability to critique sam. they will do everything in their power to not give him hell even tho they do it all the time to colby. so i weirdly think that bc this fandom couldn't be mad at sam for moving on too quickly from kat or for seemingly """replacing""" her, they chose katelyn to take their anger out on. but even that eventually wore itself thin and for the first time, i actually saw ppl genuinely hate on sam the same way they do colby. which was both refreshing and depressing all at the same time lol

i also think katelyn is just weird enough to be annoying to a lot of ppl, and bc of that, immediately she sucks. i obviously don't feel that way about her, but i can get why some wouldn't love her. in addition, i think she tried a bit too hard to be liked in this fandom and that drove ppl nuts. and she introduced colby to malia, which means she was public enemy #1 for a lot ppl. i mean, i literally heard someone full on dox her during a space on twitter and then call her a whore just bc she's dating sam. while the fandom wasn't in love with kat the moment they met her, they never went this far.

as for malia, i've seen some truly heinous shit said about her. like i'm talking fake dms with nudes (that obviously weren't hers), cheating allegations, fans making fun of her filler and boob job, fans calling her a whore and a slut for merely wanting to show off her body, she has no personality (even tho we've never even heard her speak so…. explain how you just know that), colby chose her over shea (which is just not true at all), the list goes on and on. i think the hate for her has calmed down a lot bc i think 1, she never tries to talk to fans except the occasional reply on a TikTok comment. i honestly think her not trying to befriend the fandom has worked out for her a lot more than katelyn's attempt at being our bestie. and 2, i think that bc colby shows her off (in a way that sam never did katelyn) we can see that colby is happy with malia. unless you're a hater; then bc they pose too much in pictures or *checks notes* never smile with one another that means they are faking it.

i do feel for sam, in a way, too. the thing is, i think out of the two of them, sam is the one that will speak up against the fandom, and he needs to do that. he needs to tell fans to chill the fuck out when it comes to his future significant others. like we cannot have a repeat next time he dates someone. it's just not gonna work out. but i also feel as if snc aren't gonna do that. i love them dearly, and idk who is in their ear telling them to do this (whether it be management or themselves) but them not sticking up for themselves or their gfs rubs me the wrong way. bc that's how you get a fandom like this that thinks hating on their gfs/themselves for a year straight is somehow okay. and god knows if i was dating one of them long term and they were just telling me to ignore the hate or not use an entire social media platform bc that's were a majority the hate was on… i would be going nuclear lol

like, it's either you tell your fans to calm down or i do. and since they ain't my fans, i don't have to be nice to them. so… pick your poison.

[androgynousblackbox]

How To Lose A Lucifer In 10 Days. 12 [Appleradio, RadioApple]

Step 12: Get confused by him

Lucifer opened up the door to the room again, almost hoping that he would find Alastor just sleeping on the bed and complaining about why was he bothering him so late. But it was just as empty as the rest of the room when he let it to go search Charlie and Emily.

Emily looked around and even walked to the bathroom, finding nothing there. Her eyes looked over to the bottle on the desk, but didn't say aything as Charlie's eyes were fixated on the wall. Vaggie had brought her spear just in case, without a target.

"Explain again what happened" asked Charlie, her hair a mess already but alert now that they were there.

Lucifer nodded, the story already straight in his head.

"Okay, so I just came here to talk with Al about the news I got from Satan. I found the door open and I came in. Al was sleeping so I just take him to the bed with magic. While he was resting, a fucking chain came out from there" said, pointing at the place right above the headboard of the bed," with your Lucifer's voice coming from it, I think? Alastor was a little bit drunk so they argued, said something bullshit about you can't escape from me, I am scary and evil, whatever, and then he did the shadow thing on the chain. Next thing I know he is nowhere on the hotel" Lucifer licked his lips, almost proud on himself he managed to avoid mentioning anything about the pregnancy. If Alastor was actually missing now, the last thing any of them needed to know is that their future sibling was also missing with him. Not to mention how just angry he would be if Lucifer revealed his secret without any of the parents present. "I didn't know you could do that with a contract! Or that even was the contract that he asked me to call that first day! Did you guys knew about it? That your Lucifer had his soul? Because that is kinda…" said, without knowing how to say fucked up without actually saying so. Soul contracts were often such a hierarchical relationship, another way to accumulate power for one self. Of course that could happen between spouses too, an attempt at doing something extreme and romantic for the sake of it, but it usually didn't last long because someone got power hungry and didn't end well for the one who didn't own their own soul anymore. "Weird" finally ended.

"We did" said Emily, coming back from the bathroom. "That was the only way that Alastor was allowed to come back from heaven. The first winner soul to ever give themselves to the devil when he could be in Paradise" Emily sighed, looking to a side. "Alastor… dad liked that."

Lucifer opened up his eyes, feeling so fucking stupid now that he didn't realize before. For the way that Alastor had explained to him, he almost could believe that Heaven was happy to kick him out and Lucifer just had to do a small deal to sign the official fall. But a soul contract made a lot more sense. Heaven would have their hands tied in front of Alastor signing himself away, no matter how much they hated it. Back then he was too focused on how funny it was to see it.

"So you both knew that they were talking to each other?" asked now, trying not to feel some sense of hurt at being kept out and only marginally succeeding.

"Dad didn't want to reveal the contract to anyone" said Charlie. "It's not that he was ashamed or anything, but people could read that on some other way and it was just easier keep that on the family" Charlie looked at the headboard, scratching her neck. Lucifer winced a little at the reminder that he wasn't part of this family, after all. But that wasn't by far the most pressing issue right now. "If dad used their contract and he isn't here, then he has to be with papa, right?" asked to Lucifer.

"I… I think so. Maybe?" said, not wanting to concern her but also not being entirely sure.

One would think that the devil would know everything there is to know about soul contracts, but he never knew them to be able to make someone capable of just jumping to another dimension.

"We can ask Vassago just to be sure" offered Emily, more for Lucifer than for Charlie.

Charlie frowned before turning to him.

"There was no other magic acting at the same time, right? Someone didn't just summon him just as he was talking with papa?"

"I would have noticed that, sweetie" Lucifer shook his head. If he had detected anything else he would have even more of a reason to freak out. "It was all him, I am sure of it."

"If he is with papa, then that is good, right?" Emily walked next to her sister. "I… I believe that it is. We know dad really needed to see him. He wasn't doing good here."

Lucifer wasn't surprised that they had noticed too. Pills or no pills, kids were always more perceptive than what parents wanted to admit. He had to learn that when his own Charlie started questioning why he isolated so much.

"I know" Charlie sighed. "I know. But now we don't have a way to talk with them now. Before at least we could hear papa."

"Hey, if it helps at all" added Lucifer, "I think he was too drunk to think clearly. I don't think he would have done that without telling you guys anything if he was on his right mind. He was just… desperate, you know?"

"Not drunk enough to not do it though" Emily reached out to squeeze her shoulder and Charlie sighed again. "Yeah, I know. That is not really fair. We just got dad back months ago. I didn't want to miss any of them."

"Me neither" said Emily, hugging her arm. "But there is still one stone, right?" asked, looking at Lucifer for confirmation. "We have one more chance to bring them all back."

The last chance they had, thought Lucifer, feeling the signs of horrible anxiety wanting to cling to his chest already. It was bad before with every failure they had, but now he didn't even had Alastor to try to make it more tolerable and that was a horribly selfish thing to even think about in front of the ones without their parents, what was wrong with him.

"Y-yes" said, clearing his throat, and putting up a smile for both of them. "Emily is right, sweetie. I have a very good feeling about this one! We are definitely going to get it and everything will be back to normal."

He would try to, at least, in whatever way he could.

"Al" tried Lucifer for the third time, but the figure that he was almost entirely sure was Alastor was completely gone for the world. He could see that his head was sinking the pillow, that the cover of his bed was stretching to cover him up and he could even hear his soft breathing.

But it could be a clone with a illusion spell on. Nevermind he didn't remember making one, maybe one was manifested without realizing. It wouldn't be the first time that his magic did stuff without him knowing about it. Even the words he did say to him could be some unconscious nonsense that he cooked up out of guilt. Alastor being there only to reject him and want him out wasn't a thought he never had on his life, unfortunately. More so in those days they just had bad news to share with each other.

If they were on the same space, he could see himself what Alastor felt for him. Being an angel left him with that rare ability to be aware of any trace of love that was left around him, which was a true blessing if nothing else. He never had to doubt or let his mind overthink about it when he could just see the evidence right in front of his eyes. If Alastor was upset with him or they had an argument, one glance was all he needed in order to know that things could be okay, that he haven't destroyed anything and Alastor didn't hate him. Even if he had to travel to other rings for royal issues, he had the option of quickly portalling back home for a hug or to share a meal or check on Charlie.

The problem is that he couldn't do any of that through a chain. Or at least that is what he thought.

Lucifer saw his hand trembling as he was about to call the contract. If this didn't work, it was a clone and he had a brain fart where he lost the contact with his own Alastor that was in the middle of calling him a liar. His heart was going to be a little bit crushed and it was going to hurt. That seeing Alastor manifest from his shadows was pure desperation on his part.

He took a deep breath and called it upon. The chain neatly finished on the ring attacked to the shackle that manifested around the neck of Alastor. It didn't wake him up, but Lucifer let it vanish anyway as he gasped for air, only now realizing that he had contained it the entire time.

"Babe?" called, going over to his side.

He reached to him when suddenly a hand gently took his chin and turned him to a side. The shadow smiled down at him.

"Hi" said through a strangled chuckle, holding the hand that moved to cup his cheek.

The shadow's grin grew more as he started leaving butterfly kisses all over his face, nuzzling against his skin. Ever since their contract, the shadow felt more solid than ever and Lucifer couldn't be happier about it.

"I missed you too. So much" sighed, turning his head around to find the face of the shadow and kiss him too, his dark cheeks, the corners of his smile, as his hands went to run through the dark matter of where the hair of Alastor was. The dark ears twitched as if they were from the original, reminding him how much he loved to see them. The cool and almost ethereal sensation was something he had truly missed. "Did you get more handsome while I wasn't looking or something?"

The shadow didn't respond, it couldn't, but hold his face up to find his lips, joining them together as Lucifer felt it's weight on his lap, the dark legs straddling him at each side. Lucifer licked the sharp edges of the teeth on the shadow as his hands hold to his waist. The shadow kissed his cheek and his neck as the dark arms wrapped around his shoulders, squeezing him. For a moment Lucifer just liked to hug him back, enjoying the constant movement of the shadow as a heartbeat. But eventually he had to look at Alastor, still sleeping on his side. Maybe he was a little more relaxed than before or he was just hoping that he would relax by his connection with his extension.

"What happened to him?" asked to the shadow. "I thought he was drunk, but he doesn't smell like it?"

He clearly had taken alcohol, but it wasn't with the intensity that he had assumed. The shadow lifted a hand and formed the silhouette of a bottle on top. From that bottle, the shadow pretended to take out something small to pop up on his mouth.

"Bel pills?" The shadow nodded. Then he also made a gesture of drinking from a larger bottle. Lucifer winced. "Oh. How many?"

When the answer was four fingers in the air, Lucifer blinked.

"Four?!" let out and quickly covered his mouth, making sure that Alastor was very much still sleeping before he talked again in a lower voice. "He swallowed up four pills and then down them with alcohol? He must have been fucked up out of his mind."

The shadow nodded again and Lucifer was almost, almost impressed with his husband still able to not only talk, but actually move after such a dosage that would put out a big majority of demons. The shadow made a series of gestures to make him understand that the recommended ones had stopped working a while ago. They were supposed to keep him calm so Emily and Charlie wouldn't see the anger bubbling up inside, but with each day it was becoming harder to keep his cool head in check. Even with the pills, sleeping a full night was becoming rare.

"Aw, honey" Lucifer sighed and brought the shadow to his arms again, hugging him tight. Now he understood why Alastor was the first one to wake up lately. Maybe he just pretended to be sleeping while he was snoring, comforted by the white noise of his static. "I am so sorry I didn't notice how hard it was for you."

The shadow shook his head and kissed his forehead. Its hand caressed his temple, looming over him with a soft smile. His dark tail was wagging close to his hand.

"Yeah, I know. If he didn't want me to know, I wouldn't" Lucifer looked over to Alastor and extended two fingers to press on the base of his neck. He tried to be as gentle as he could, but he did have to do some pressure as he send healing energy. "It's just so he doesn't get a hangover when he actually wakes up" commented to the shadow.

It wasn't the first time he had to do that for Alastor either, but it had been a long time since the last time he did.

"If I erase the effect of the pill, you think he will sleep well now?" The shadow's smile grew bigger and nuzzled his neck.

Lucifer now was sure it was going to make sure of that. Once that was done, just as easy as taking away the concentrated magic of Bel, now he could breath more easily. Alastor was going to be okay now. With him. He had earned a good night of rest.

"Alright" whispered relieved, letting the shadow to move him to kiss him again. Lucifer chuckled before welcoming the dark presence on his mouth, hugging it close by the waist until their chest were brushing against each other. He found the wagging tail and squeezed it on his hand, pulling it softly. A delicious shiver ran through the shadow at the estimulation. "Do you want to give your other you something nice to wake up to, babe?"

The shadow shook his head positively. Lucifer smiled when black tentacles came out from the dark figure to lift off his t-shirt, throwing it to a side. No part of Alastor's magic was ever going to act against it's owner will. If this was happening at all it was only because Alastor himself would have done the same thing.

"It has been a while since you and I had a little fun together, huh?" Lucifer nibbled on the neck offered up to him, gropping at its ass like he had been doing with all his clones whenever he needed the release, but this was infinitely better because it was finally the real deal.

Even if there was an extra step on the way, it was still Alastor who was going to feel it all and it would be by his own hand at last. No wall, no chain, no imagination needed. Just them breathing the same air and enjoying each together's bodies. Those games were fun and help out, of course, but this was what he actually yearned for since the very second he realized he wasn't in home no more. It didn't mattered that the feeling wasn't quite the same becuase it was all still for him, it was still as familiar as Alastor's fur or his smell or his voice.

The biggest lack now was the lack of that voice. But Lucifer could still hear his breathing right next to them and pay attention to any changes, knowing why it was that happened. All without taking away the sleep that he had clearly been needing now.

"Oh" let out when he felt the tentacles started pulling on his pajama bottoms.

Lucifer moved a little his ass to allow it to pull them out entirely, taking his underwear with it. His cock barely had time to feel the air before being wrapped up in more tentacles, rubbing him and squeezing ever so skilfully to bring him back to full life. He really didn't need much help, not when the shadow kept demanding his mouth to wrap their tongues together. The static of radio around him was almost like another sigh on his ear.

The thought that Alastor could have been desiring on a similar level to him was almost making him dizzy. He pulled on the tail again, more rudely than before, and the legs of the shadow shook slightly as it throw its head back. Alastor pronnounced a small hum without moving.

"Is a pleasant dream for your other you, babe?" asked amused, spreading the ass cheeks of the shadow to tease at the tight entrance that materialized for him. "Mmm, I didn't have to ask you for it. You are such a eager little slut for me, aren't you, baby?"

The shadow nuzzled its head against his head, making no attempt to hide the trembling it was a victim of. It was so fucking cute that he had to bite his lips.

"It's okay" chuckled Lucifer, bringing his fingers back to lick them. With the shadow it wasn't actually needed, it would adapt to anything Lucifer wanted to do, for its owner to get all the pleasant sensations without none of the pain or discomfort, but why would he deny himself the allure of having the shadow admire the way he wrapped his digits on his tongue until they were drenched on saliva? Some parts of the process were also important, even if they weren't necessary. "I also wanted you, babe. So bad you can't even imagine. Nothing is ever going to beat the original" moaned, taking his fingers now under the tail.

With one hand he grabbed at it, pulling outwards, as he slipped two fingers inside. The shadow's chest moved like it was struggling to breath, its weight against Lucifer as he could feel the pressure around his skin. The shadow itself was cold like the lack of light was supposed to be, but inside it was warm and welcoming. Lucifer was never sure if that was by design or somehow the magic of Alastor making it more comfortable, but he choose to believe the latter.

On their side, Alastor grumbled slightly. His legs under the blankets shifted just the tiniest bit and something about seeing the effect of what he was doing burned on his own body like a match on a poddle of gasoil.

"I love you" murmured to the neck of the shadow, wanting Alastor to know that, to never forget. Meanwhile his hand started pumping on its ass, going as deep as his knuckle allowed him to. The static cracked slightly as if being cut by a violent storm as the shadow pushed back, arching its back. "I love you" sighed, biting down strong.

Alastor's little groan sounded almost like a scream on his ears. The feedback noise was short and loud, but quickly normalized itself again as the shadow closed its entrance. Lucifer grabbed onto the matter that was its body and really let his teeth digging in, as if he wanted to tear a chunk of meat out. Another shiver of the shadow that he took on his fingers, expanding the entrance even more. Its body had become pliant even on top of him, holding itself up by some miracle.

Lucifer growled, his own drool now slipping between the corners of his lips as he added a third finger, opening him up. When Alastor made another hum he felt that as the go ahead, finishing his bite. Something gave in and filled his mouth. The flavor was bitter and heavy, coppery like the memory of how blood should be, although not quite like it. Like some kind of heavy alcohol that knocked down people with one glass. As he swallowed up he could feel it dissolving on the way down. When he huffed a poof of black smoke, he smiled as his mouth dripped with dark slime.

"Hot" commented simply, winking an eye to the shadow. If it could blush, it would have, it's green eyes dazed. "You are such a delectable treat, baby, I couldn't resist" said, lifting him up by the thighs to let him fall on his back over the bed. Although with the shadow it was like a delayed fall, graceful. The chunk he had taken from his shoulder was already being filled out to it's previous form, but the shape of his teeth did looked lovely when they lasted. "Do you want me to do it again?" asked, kissing the mouth of the shadow that licked him back, like a kitten.

A slow tiny nod was all he needed.

"Good boy" purred, turning it around on the bed. "Lift that pretty ass you have for me, babe."

Trembling, the shadow did as told, its tail already lifted and ready, presenting itself to him. It head was turned to him all the way, not wanting to miss a detail as Lucifer whipped the slime off his chin and licked his own hand clean.

"It was a while that I tasted you or your other you like that, huh?" said, giving a firm slap on the cheek offered in front of him. He took a quick glance to Alastor, confirmed that the sound was not waking him up, and tried another slap just to test it out. Just another wordless sound as Alastor's body was still relaxed before he turned to see the shadow again. "I had almost forgotten what that was like" grinned, rubbing his cock between the ass cheeks, teasing his hole with his head. "Your other you came from that alone the last time and I had barely done anything, remember?"

The static lifted up, became high pitch, like a whine as the shadow moved against him, looking to be filled. Lucifer snapped his fingers to conjure up a golden chain around the shadows neck. It wasn't the soul contract, so Alastor should be none the wiser to it's call, but it was something to pull on the shadow up.

"No, no, honey" cooed, bringing him over until he could reach his shoulder that went untouched. "I still didn't have my fill" warned, before he bite down on the black matter.

At the same time that his teeth sink in, he thrusted forward and felt the inside stretch and constrict around him. The mouth of the shadow opened up, no sound coming out of it directly, but the radio noises picked up a high note and deflated as the body somewhat relaxed again, beind hold upright by nothing more than Lucifer's bite and the chain pulling from behind. Lucifer hold him on that position as his hand went over the belly and pressed down, feeling the pressure on himself.

It was still too soon for their baby to make itself known, but Lucifer knew it was there, that the shadow too would grow as Alastor's body changed, and the thought excited him to thrust again. His mouth open up slightly only to take even more of the magic flesh, scrapping against the curvature of the clavicle, and he groaned as he kept moving. The shape of his cock standing out against the flat stomach, bulding against his hand, was almost as exciting as the sensation of the shadow squeezing him inside, as the burying himself to tear him appart.

One of the shadow's hand posed over his, closing on the space between his fingers, while the other hold to the chain that couldn't choke it because there was no air to cut. It hips pushed back to grind against Lucifer's crotch as his interior was sucking him better than how the tentacles had. Lucifer clawed a grip on the shadow's waist and sucked in through his teeth as he pulled out, the piece of magic too big for any normal mouth, but he wasn't the king of hell for nothing. Unhinging his jaw, Lucifer made sure to swallow it all and flicker his forked tongue in front of the shadow's face.

As he was still licking the remanent around his mouth, Lucifer pushed the shadow against the bed and made his pace relentless, full of all the desires and frustrations he had during all those days, with no one but his own magic to provide some temporary relief. All the time only wishing that he could do this, with him, in any way he would allowed it to.

"That is a tasty little bitch if I ever had one" whispered close to its face. "Make sure that he knows that, babe, alright?"

Alastor had reaccomodated a bit, relaxing his body, extending a leg while the other was still curled against his chest. The blanket that he was holding tenaciously had slipped, revealing a tentalizing shoulder he wanted to try to, but retained himself. Maybe it was a bad idea altogether with the baby. They would have to see into that later.

He saw again at the shadow, the chunk missing so big that his arm should be useless already, but that same arm could hold him up to seek his lips. Lucifer kissed him, moving his hips with more urgency as he chased his orgasm. He ripped the tongue with his teeth and sucked on the portion left inside the open mouth, offered to him like a main dish, as his climax was reached, pushing him over the edge.

Just as he let himself fell to the bed the shadow changed its form so his back and front reversed. Making the perfect magical pillow for Lucifer land into, right into the chest fluff he buried happily into. Its arms surrounded him, wrapping him tight and close with its legs around his waist. There was nothing else in the world that Lucifer could ever want to do but to hug him back.

"You did so good, babe, so fucking good" praised, kissing his chest and the start of his neck. Lazily he lifted a hand to scratch its head and cooed gently when the silhouette of the ears turn downward, trusting. "You are always the fucking best to me, aren't you? What did I ever do to deserve a cutie like you?" He smiled when the shadow avoided his look and he pushed himself forward, kissing his cheek over and over. "Not beating the cutie allegations like that, honey. Now I am thinking adorable too. What are you going to do about that?"

The shadow pouted, guilty of all charges, but let Lucifer to kiss him again before he laid on its chest, admiring it. He had seen the shadow of this universe Alastor, of course, but this one was the one that gave him a warmth that had nothing to do with the actual temperature of it's magical body.

"Did you finished?" asked and then added with a grin. "Do I have to change your other you's underwear?"

After a moment of hesitation, the shadow nodded it's head. A snap of fingers later, both to clean up Alastor and his shadow, Lucifer moved to accomodate behind Alastor.

"Come here, you" called, bringing the shadow to the space between its owner and himself. He caressed the sides of its body, nuzzling his neck. "I just want to cuddle you, is that okay? Or it's too much magic already? Is the baby going to be okay if you stay a bit more?"

The shadow smiled bigger and kissed his forehead, taking one of his hands to reach above Alastor. Its hand made some gestures in the air that Lucifer realized it wanted him to imitate, creating a small sigil in the air. The sigil remained in the air for a moment, illuminated with a soft green glow, and then vanished down to dissapear on the body of Alastor. Alastor himself didn't react to it at all.

"Oh" Lucifer finally understood. "That is the spell to know how much magic the baby needs?"

He repeated the gesture a couple of times and was proud of himself when the shadow had to correct him only one time before he got it. The same green glow comforted him in a way he wasn't expecting. Back when they were creating Charlie it was all pure trial and error, only having a vague idea of what they needed to do and what was supposed to happen, but now it was going to be a lot easier to make sure this baby got everything they needed.

"Thank you" whispered, bringing the shadow closer.

He also wanted to say thank you to the other Lucifer, even when he was sure his Alastor didn't made it particularly easier either. It took a long time for them to get where they were too. A month wasn't going to be enough to get them very far, but he would appreciate the help all the same. If it weren't for his other version maybe they would have missed on knowing about this baby entirely and now he wouldn't feel as excited to see them grow, to hold their tiny hands and hold them.

When he felt more than an arm embracing him the same, he opened up his eyes to see at least five tentacles hugging coming from the shadow to squish him against its body. He chuckled, smiling up to it grinning face. How could a black shadow given material form could ever be so pretty? Somehow Alastor had managed that. There was no doubt that this was infinitely better than any of his clones.

He buried his face on the chest of the creature, humming happy at its soft kisses on top of his head. The breathing of Alastor just less than an arm stretch away from him was all he could ever ask for the perfect background as he let himself finally, truly, rest easy.

--

On the morning, Alastor woke up first. The light coming from the window had him frowning for a second, but quickly all the memories of his shadow came back to him like a dream that refused to die. Every word, every action, every sensation. But none of them were as important as the gentle snoring just as his back.

He turned his head all the way back. Lucifer, on his sleepwear, still had his arm reaching out as if to hug his shadow, his fingers barely short of touching his back. Not actually daring to touch in case it could disturb him and something about that was so precious that he turned around quickly.

Thanks to him he felt amazing, no hangover and no headache for the first time in days, so he had no issue reaching out to cup his face, his beautiful perfect face and kiss his sleeping lips.

"Love" called, still incongruently soft, even though he wanted him to wake up already. He could adore the patience of Lucifer and still very much recognize he never had it. That just wasn't part of his nature. And yet he couldn't bring himself to yell, as if that somehow was going to make him dissapear. "My darling, my king" whispered, kissing him further until Lucifer started to move slowly against his lips, and he nuzzled his cheek. He had missed so much to just say those words, how right they felt on his mouth. "My love, wake up."

Lucifer groaned a little bit, but his eyes did end up opening up for a second, closing again as he smiled. This one was the right one, thought Alastor, brushing the golden hair out of the way to reach more face to kiss, all the face he could ever want.

"I could get used to this" sighed Lucifer and then let out a tiny ow when Alastor nibbled his cheek, pulling up the skin. "Alright, alright, got it" Lucifer pouting made a weak attempt at pushing him off that was unnecessary anyway. Alastor let him sit on the bed and yawn as he rubbed the sleep off his eyes. "Nice way to ruin the mom…"

"Shut up" chuckled Alastor, going over to hug him, just squeeze between his arms exactly as he wanted to do, without leaving not a single speck of space between them. A single second later Lucifer was returning the hug through his middle and Alastor rubbed his face on his hair, shamelessly breathing his smell like it was his favorite coffee in the morning. "You had your moment of fun last night, this is mine now."

Lucifer giggled, locking his hand on the back of Alastor. He looked up to him with a fond smile and a arch eyebrow.

"I don't remember seeing your shadow complain, though."

"No, you didn't" agreed Alastor, bringing him up to kiss his lips as he brought his legs to wrap around him. "But this is still mine."

"Mmm, good point" said Lucifer between kisses. He left out a comfortable sigh as Alastor made his path over his cheek, down to his neck. "Ah, should have imagined" commented as Alastor started nibbling the skin there, letting him feel the scratch of the teeth with a light hum, just waiting for the okay. "Fair enough. Do it then."

Alastor licked the delicate portion and hugged him closer, if that was even possible, before sinking in. The intense flavor quickly his whole mouth, brain and body at the first taste on his tongue. He couldn't help but to moan, almost trembling on Lucifer's arm because it had been so long since he had more than a few drops and the first lick was always the best. The opening to a new world where things made sense, where his husband was never away from the touch of his hand, where their family could live with no issues for the rest of eternity. Like a hug to every portion of his being or a gentle death to end all suffering or something else entirely, he could never truly say.

The first time he tasted something as so openly loving he thought he would die again, exploding on sweet flammes that evaporated all his defenses, all the ties that he imposed on himself fizzling out as if they were just as thin as hair. A taste of a paradise he probably didn't deserve, but his king offered up to him all the same and how could he ever refuse such a gift? He wanted to forget the last month, pretend it never happened, that it was all just a stupid and dream, and soaking up in that blood, in that feeling, it was hard to believe something so wrong could even happen.

Lucifer rubbed his back. He didn't understand the effect his blood had, but saw the results and couldn't say no to them. On the way that Alastor clinged up to him with such force that his claws were digging to his, on the way his back relaxed like he could finally let go of the mountain he was carrying on his shoulder or how his breathing hitched outside of his control. With that, it was more than enough to let him take as much as he wanted to for as long as he wanted to. Lucifer's tolerance for pain was a lot bigger than what Alastor could even begin to understand. If the skin healed before he had finished, Lucifer gave the smallest nod so Alastor could break it again, licking at the droplets of gold over the warm skin like he could never do anything else.

But eventually even that was too much and not only his stomach was more full that he could tolerate. He hugged onto Lucifer, drowning his sniffle on the refuge between his neck and shoulder, whiping out his eyes. Lucifer let his hand gently caress his sides as he calmed down, lips pressing softly against his shoulder. He didn't say a word, nor need to, and Alastor loved him for it.

By the time he could talk again, all the bites had healed and the stains on both of their shirt had dried up. Alastor took a breath and nuzzled him close.

"Why I am here?" asked finally.

"You ask me?" Lucifer's surprise voice made him to look at him. "You don't remember?"

"I remember going to sleep on my chair and then everything with my shadow" said Alastor, observing around. No baiyou or chimmney anywhere. He was suspecting it, but this was definitely still the wrong place. "I don't understand. Did you find a stone?"

"What? No. Babe" Lucifer gently redirected his chin to face him. "That was you. I don't know how…, but one moment you were saying stuff through the chain and the next your shadow brought you here. I had no idea you could do that."

Alastor looked at him, but Lucifer did not seemed confused or doubtful about any of his words and that only made even less sense to him.

"Do you mean to tell me I could do that this entire time and just didn't?" questioned, almost horrified with all that time wasted on stupid bullshit. Then he glared at Lucifer. "Why didn't you tried it then? If anyone was about to travel across dimension, you were supposed to come to us."

"You think I didn't?" Lucifer's voice sounded almost hurt at the suggestion. "The very first night that I managed to make contact, I attempted so many times to portal or move where you were and it wouldn't let me. When you told me about the baby, you best believe I tried it again and again."

Alastor's brow burrowed as he tried to think again.

"What I was saying last night? Did it sounded like some kind of spell?" asked, even though he knew it was far fetched.

But something incredible had happened already, so might as well could add that to the account.

"Ah, nothing like that" said Lucifer, looking to a side. "You were like… completely off your mind on the pills of Bel and I think some whiskey. You were saying stuff like how I am obviously lying about loving you because I wasn't with you and I can't ever escape you and… I don't know, you were just out of it. The next thing I know you are here and you think I am the other Lucifer."

Alastor groaned for himself.

"It was only… one glass. I didn't think it would be so bad" said with a forced shrug, looking to the wall.

If Lucifer was telling the truth, as he was fearing now, and he was just rambling like an idiot, then what? Did he just went and abandon both his daughters?

"Hey" called Lucifer gently. His eyes were nothing if not understanding. "It's okay. If you don't even know how it happened, then it wasn't your fault."

"That is not really much for consolation, Lucifer" said Alastor, pointing at the wall. "Not when our daughters are still on another dimension away from us. With no way to communicate back or idea of where I am!" pointed out, brushing his hair back and pulling on it.

Even as drunk or high or whatever state mind he was in, how could he think to just do that? Those stupid pills were supposed to make it easier to not scare Charlie or Emily, not the opposite!

"Enough" Lucifer sighed, placing a hand on top of his to coax him into dropping it to his lap. "Okay, it's going to be a scare for them. But there is still two stones we haven't found here and one in the other side. That is three chances for us to undo all of this. We can still solve this. In the meantime" Lucifer hold his hand on his, giving it a squeeze, "is it really that bad if I am glad to see you?"

Alastor sighed, dropping his head on Lucifer's shoulder.

"No" said, lifting a hand to cup his cheek, his thumb caressing the red cheek. At least he didn't think there was anything wrong about it. Despite not really planning for this encounter, he couldn't bring himself to regret it truly, even knowing what it meant for those he left behind. He belonged with Lucifer and Lucifer belonged with him no matter where they were. That was the only reality he could accept without question. Nobody should had to make him change that in the first place. That was what was wrong. "I am glad too."

Lucifer hummed, turning his face to kiss his hand first and then finding that Alastor was already looking for him. They shared a lazy and languid kiss, holding onto each other as the was still the risk of lose the other the moment they let go. Lucifer's hand moved from Alastor's thigh to his stomach and he froze for a moment, before relaxing again at realizing that this should have been the only hand that touched him.

"Can I see them?" asked Lucifer and Alastor chuckled, running his finger through the hair on his nape.

"Go ahead" said, kissing his cheek. "Although there is not a lot to see right now. Just a polka dot."

"But it's our polka dot!" insisted Lucifer, pulling himself back to lay on the bed with his head on Alastor's lap. His eyes turned red as he checked on the magic inside of him, smiling big. "There you are, little buddy. It's papa! Papa is finally here! Oh, you seem like such a healthy little one already. The goodest little bean I have ever seen. I bet your dad has been taking such a good care of you."

"Darling, they haven't even developed the sense of hearing yet" pointed out Alastor, brushing his hair back anyway because seeing Lucifer being a parent was exactly what he wanted. Maybe it was an extra too that his attention would be on him too. "It's too early for them to know anything."

"Babies totally take on the vibes around them, babe" Lucifer said with total seriousness and that only made it funnier for Alastor. The king of hell pouted and shoved his face under the shirt that Alastr was wearing, nuzzling his face on the fur of his abdomen. "Don't listen to dad, little buddy. I am going to give you the best vibes ever so you grow the coolest baby that has ever existed."

Alastor shook his head, already knowing that nothing that he could ever say was going to get Lucifer out of his mindset. Besides, it felt good to have any proximity with him, the contact of skin with skin. If he was also being an idiot, that was just Lucifer being Lucifer.

"Do you want to see them too, babe?" asked Lucifer, still under his shirt. "I can allow you that if you want."

He thought about it for a moment. The point about them being literally just a dot was still very much valid, without anything resembling an actual baby. Charlie was a lot more developed on her stage as a figurine than this one was. But on the ther hand, why not? It wasn't fair that only Lucifer would get to see them.

"Sure" said with a shrug, taking the hand that Lucifer offered to him.

The other Lucifer had done this as well to show him he was pregnant in the first place, so the brief transference of magic for that particular skill did not surprise him when he looked down and instead of Lucifer's head was a figure made of golden sparkles. A blink later he was seeing from the perspective of Lucifer straight into his abdomen and it was… a polka dot. A white, bright point of light in the middle of his green magic that surrounded it.

"They are…" said and had to swallow before finding his words again. "They are bigger since last time I saw them."

It was a stupid thing to say and he knew that he moment he let it out. Babies grow, what a brilliant discovery. No one would think he actually went through something similar already.

"Isn't that amazing?" giggled Lucifer, kicking his hooves on the bed. "Every day that we look at them, a little bit is going to be different. Every single day something new about them is going to happen. And then they are going to be here and surprise us even more each day! Tell me if that isn't the greatest thing you ever heard!"

Lucifer chuckled, extending his hand to reach out. The extension of his magic came out to surrond the little polka dot and be consumed by it. They didn't need more for the moment, but if they did, Lucifer would be there to provide. As he should have from the start.

"Al" Lucifer broke up their connection. The eyes of Alastor returned to normal, registering that Lucifer was rising up on his hands, on his knees, hugging his head to his chest. Even on that position, Alastor's eyes still stand out over his shoulder. "Thank you. I love them already."

"I didn't do anything" said Alastor, his arms instantly going to hold the tiny king back anyway. "If anything, we both did. This didn't happen just for me."

"Of course it did, silly" Lucifer kissed the top of his head. "If it weren't for you, they wouldn't be here. Simple as that. Since when do you reject taking all the credit?" Lucifer laughed softly and didn't mind when Alastor couldn't replied, hiding on his chest. "I love you. You know that, right?"

A little hum was his only response. The ears of Alastor turned down, giving more space for Lucifer to pet his head, gently massaging the scalp.

"Good."

[skunkes]

can u tell us more abt al and smunker lore!!

its not really anything tangible or even interesting its just the current backdrop for my little continuous daydream i explore before sleeps

Foundational info:

(in past) Cow Al is struggling to recover from emotional crisis experienced in college (traumatic relationship), + tries to hold down some jawb but finds himself unable to stay in that environment away from home (none of his "friends" acknowledge the turmoil which makes him feel more lost), + moves back to family farm.

He likes doing different kinds of manual jobs which are always needed around + he does have that "my parents are my best friends" thing going on so he kind of just stays there to present day.

He lives in a little, idk what else to call it but a mobile home, but its the longer rectangular ones ykwim, some ways off the main Hub. (Also there's lots of focus on community in my furryverse + there's lots of non al family furs living in and working on the place + sharing resources and work and such. Its not a HUGE place but its big ^_^)

Anyway, Smunker moves in to the little forest that you cld walk to from the farm area. He lives in a little sunken tree stump den thing hee heeeee. Not many other furs live there, + there's actually more Lesser Animals (what i call just regular non furry animals) present

-

The two of em meet at a grocery store, there was a relevant little point here that I forgot, which was that one of em wasn't even supposed to be there that first day for (x reason). Whatever.

The area that Cow Al lives in doesn't have very many Different looking furs. Al's family is actually all natural colors too. So he sees this pink smunk and goes a little insane (positive) (he promises later its not just because smunker looks different, but it was what drew his eye) but they never really interact (al keeps going to that same store Just In Case lol) until one day (cliche incoming) the little wheeled ladder that helps smaller furs get to higher shelves isn't available + he gets to help smunker get something from high up (he all but runs to be able to be the person to do this LOL)

Al actually has game + is confident, he's just out of practice from prior Events. He loves being social and misses making/being able to make friends so he does in fact manage to build up on interactions with Smunker...they become friends ➡️ realize they live close to each other.

Al actually accidentally damages smunker's home at some point by accident, + houses them while it's fixed, and there's another instance where smunker gets his leg caught in an illegal bear/foot trap on the walk back home at night, and then Al is also adamant on keeping an eye on him while he heals (+ is also the one who had to go help him get out of said trap...its literally a whole dramatic thing.)

I think I'm keeping both of these events as canon because it leads to the funny little situation of Al being like no wayyyyy i actually for real like this guy now that we've spent more time together like this...i need him to sleep on my belly to live :3 and cant stop having weird dreams about him. Idk if he feels the same. heeeeeeeeeelp. While skunker is like. Im for real going to kill myself for inconveniencing this person. He probably thinks im the biggest nuisance ever. I've overstayed my welcome for sure.

I haven't yet decided on the event that gets em Together. Might just be a little "date" at nearby ducky pond or something LOL. Skunker is shocked either way like huhh I didn't even know you liked me... Al has to get used to having a small partner again + navigate a relationship that doesn't suck ass again. Smunker has to get used to having big nice bf who cares about them. They like each other

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

DC crossover anon: OKAY OKAY SO CONSIDER… Kate and Dick Grayson. The PARALLELS. Dick knows what it’s like to just be a normal guy on a team full of powered people, to feel like you need to earn your seat at the table. Dick fought for respect as Robin, as Nightwing… Kate did it as Hawkeye. She went toe to toe with Steve for this right. Dick struck out in a new town like Kate did in taking off for the west coast. They understand the hero worship, only to be struck with how human your mentor really is. And listen, if Kate had a nickel for every time she wound up running with a former circus performer who pretends to be a himbo but is actually really fuckin smart…? Well, she’d only have two nickels, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice.

A/N: I am so sorry this has been languishing in my drafts for months and even though i have more thoughts i want to post it because hi i am IN LOVE with them ilu dc nonny

Oh my godddd ohhhhhmy goddddddddddd

I am seeing them getting ready for (superhero) work and realizing they picked up the wrong batons which is so DUMB and so CUTE or maybe they even got as far as superheroing and Kate is like HUH well THAT wasn't supposed to happen as she's standing over some twitching goon and calling Dick like "Hey babe I think we need to label the batons better just a thought" and Dick who is FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE because Kate doesn't have tasers is like YA THINK???? (I am so sorry for yelling babe I wasn't mad at you I was mad at the situation and also the literal clown I was fighting)

Do they meet at a rich person gala and Kate is trying to figure out if Bruce is Tony Stark rich dude or Justin Hammer rich dude and realizes what better way to infiltrate this sus billionaire than by getting tight with his kids? They both absolutely know how to ballroom dance. Do they meet because Kate decides to take some aerial classes??? DUO ACRO ROUTINE MY BELOVED?!?!?! (OH my goddddddd Dick teaching circus classes? Kate and Clint taking circus classes and he critiques Dick the whole time but they bond over how the Joker is a bad clown. Not like evil, but like, bad at being a clown. The fucking audacity of him.)

Universe mash up where the Avengers et al and the Justice League et al come together for some reason and Nightwing and Hawkeye are impressed with one another in a professional way and then Bruce(Wayne) and Steve(Rogers) decide to set them up by sending them on fake missions together only because Kate is Kate it keeps backfiring and the fake missions all become real missions. It's OK though because they all come together to defeat an interdimensional villain and then there's a frantic makeout session

Kate and Dick would be able to pull off one of my favorite tropes "we've been dating for 3 1/2 years but everyone thinks we just team up to fight crime." Everyone thinks the teamups are because their teamup name is NightHawk. Obvi. Whatever version of them getting together, a total of three people know. One of them is Damian who Does Not Care Thank You Very Much (he does. He cares SO MUCH. when is the wedding he wants to know he had BETTER be a GROOMSMAN, RICHARD. He's already training Lucky to be the ringbearer. But he super mega doesn't care he thinks they're idiots.)

UGH SECRET IDENTITY SHENANIGANS (assuming a crossover where Kate can maintain a secret identity for more than 30 seconds) does the general public think that Dick is dating Hawkeye? That Kate is dating Nightwing? DO THE BUTTS MATCH????

How long before she gives up and starts calling him Dick? She absolutely can't at first, stop LAUGHING, Tommy, and at first the Batfam thinks she's kind of posh and weird like Damian because she's calling him "Richard" does he even actually want to be called Dick she doesn't know!

How into it is Dick when they go to some super shitty bar in Bludhaven and she kicks his ass at pool? He is so super into it its not even funny, honestly any time Kate kicks his ass he is VERY into it.

Kate is out here a small business owner where she is LITERALLY a detective and then at night saving the world? Dick why does that weirdly sound like Bruce? Dick? Do you call Kate daddy Dick WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY ITS A SERIOUS QUESTION

Also I was looking at this on my phone and my eye caught the phrase "struck out" and I am obSESSed with Dick striking out with Kate (trying to date her to get intel on her dad?) while Jason actually gets her to agree to dinner and obviously Jason will never let Dick forget this ever. After dinner--during dinner?--something happens and that's when they realize that Hawkeye (who has been flirting with Nightwing and they're sort of crime fighting dating) just went on a date with Red Hood (they shoot at each other once a week) and that Kate TURNED DOWN the guy she has actually sort of BEEN DATING FOR TWO MONTHS???

Tim texts the entire Batfam about this. Babs steals Kate's phone and texts her entire team. It's terribly embarrassing for Dick and Kate but really brings their teams together.

DICK ADVISING KATE ON GETTING A SIDEKICK?!?!? Damian trying to convince kid!Loki to be Kate's sidekick? DAMIAN AND KATE TEAMUP WHEN DICK IS SICK!?!?! And just. The amount the Batfam would adore Kate. Because she's Kate, because of how happy Dick is when he's with her, because she shares interests with like all of them, Kate and Damian SWORDFIGHTING

I can't decide if Dick's acrobatic training is the only reason he can beat Kate in a fight, or if it's the only reason Kate can beat Dick in a fight (I think they're pretty evenly matched.) On the one hand, Dick's use of acrobatics in his fighting style is pretty unusual and even trained fighters are going to be unprepared for some of his moves. On the other hand, I can see Clint either showing Kate some tricksy moves from his circus days, or Kate just picking it up by observing him. Idk it would be very funny because the acrobatics thing is unique, it gives Dick's moves an edge and he's honestly not used to losing fights and then Kate just. Fucking clotheslines him.

Now that I think about it,

Okay. okay. For Kate, fighting Dick is a lot like fighting Clint. They're built similar and have the acrobatics background. Kate is used to fighting people like Dick. Dick is less used to fighting people like Kate. You remember that picture of an eagle sitting next to a housecat, where it was captioned "I eat things like you, but not your size/I eat things your size but not like you"? That's them.

They also do yoga together after a long night of fighting crime. Also Kate is so protective of Dick it's kind of funny, Dick is ABSOLUTELY capable of taking care of himself but he is SO OKAY with Kate taking care of him, of her being a little feral about him in public, he wants the title of Boytoy. Tim says that Dick is Kate's poor little meow meow and look. points were made. Dick is just SO GOOPY about her in private but if you so much as look at Hawkeye in that tone of voice Nightwing will wreck your shit.

[bogbees]

I was gonna go to bed but I think I came up with a soulmate au perfect for Matt n Gil 7:48 AM · Apr 20, 2020

so it goes like this: when you touch somebody, their mark appears in your palm. there's several placements you can have, like for family bonds (mother's will generally always be the first bond a person has), friendship, love, probably hatred idk

over time, when a person dies or the bond fades, the mark scars, becoming the abstract background for new relationships you make

so Matt n Gil are pretty much immortal in canon. not so much Gil anymore, but he's been around a long time, so his palms are probably scared to fuck with marks —

everywhere but the love area. sure, some friendships skittered around the area, but while he might hate soulmates with his old age, he's stupid ab the idea of true love.

it's kinda fucked him up a bit in the modern era lmao. been alive so long and yet here he is

so canon au would have Matt touch Gilbert first. he doesn't know who owns this mark, bc he doesn't pay attention, so he thinks it's some mortal and he's kinda sad ab it, bc it's big, at the very centre of his palm and those are like, Best Kind, but c'est la vie

(while Gilbert has been having the opposite problem, mortals finding their love in him lmao)

while Matt and Gil have no idea the other exists (well ish. Francis probably goes off ab the other to them all the time), Matt discovers love in mortals to patch up the horrid fact he never even got to meet The One. a couple marks scar a ring around his centre mark

until one day in like, the 60s, he notices "yo this never scarred. it's always been solid" and goes maniac with glee and relief and a weird sense of wasted mourning

Al finds it funny that no one picked up on that fact all this time. bc their family all has solid centre marks and their friend family marks are still pretty solid

some of Matt's lovers picked up on it, but he dismissed it as "I don't know who they are" and it's dismissed and they better make the best of what they have

Francis tells Gilbert ab the delightful news "oh Matieu never lost his soulmate after all!! he's immortal!" and Gilbert is like pained smile grumble "oh good for him!" while painfully recalling every conversation Francis had ab Matt's current so

he figures it makes sense but good god

they can't figure out who the fuck out of their entire group is Matt's so. Francis wants to hold an event bc he's dying to know, but Matt's like, "I thought they were dead for 500 years, I'm cool to find out naturally."

Arthur casts a divination after and he n Francis go nuts once they learn the truth of the matter. Francis drinks so much he needs his stomach pumped. Gilbert calls him, and just hearing his voice, Francis gets into a giggle fit, they don't talk for like, 4 years

over the next 40 years, Matt n Gil will Wonder ab the whole soulmate thing. Matt bc he can't imagine who it could be, and Gil bc he's like, sad he himself doesn't even have that clue that they're even out there

they properly meet in 2009, the whole pancake and maple syrup thing, but no one touches. they form a bond of course, mutual understanding of loneliness, turns out they're like two peas in a pod

Francis has no idea they even became friends until 2016. he peaks at the palms of their hands, and is delighted to see Gilbert's centre is finally marked

and it's not for another ten years that they realise they're each other's soul mate 😔 7:48 AM · Apr 20, 2020

actually that's a dumb ending, bc I was falling asleep 5:09 PM · Apr 20, 2020

new ending: Gilbert always touches the ppl he likes. pulls them in for hugs, slaps on the back, drags them off to do things. the first time he crashes at Matt's bc he thinks they're best buds, he slaps Matt across the back for being a goof

he is of course surprised by how solid Matt is, and wow his hand actually hurts, so he rubs at it and notices the mark. he short circuits.

Matt is like "dude you didn't break your hand did you? sorry oh my god lemme go get the first aid kit for a splint til we get to the hospital ah fuck"

and Gil is like "no no no I'm fine! don't worry about it! hah hah hah I'm gonna go nap I'm actually pretty tired, jet lag"

Matt thinks it's weird bc he was just do animated a moment ago, but shrugs it off, can't be too bad right?

only Gilbert doesn't pop up for dinner. doesn't come out of his room at all. matt's like "damn he must have been real tired," leaves him a note saying he's got leftovers in the fridge

but Gilbert is just going insane. the note didn't help bc it implies smth surely.

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. so the dude Matt thought was dead for the last 500 years was him??? if they interacted back then, why didn't Gil touch him??? what the fuck Happened

Gil frantically texts everyone he knows. Liz, Antonio, Al, they all just congratulate him. His brother gives him a five paragraph lecture on being nice. Feli sends him a bunch of cute ideas on how to tell Matt. Roderick has him blocked.

Francis. Francis grins like a loon the moment he sees the text and calls Matt "mon garçon," he starts, "your heart is closer than you think" and Matt, tired of this old man's cryptic romantic bullshit hangs up sighing heavily

Al visits too. now he knows and he wants to play wingman. that's his brother damn it. so starts the most horrible wingman stunt. everyone is so uncomfortable. when it doesn't work, Al goes to sulk in his guest bedroom

"that was weird even for him" Matt laments. Gilbert, knowing full well what brought it on just cringes. how the fuck did ppl do this whole thing??

Matthew isn't like. bothered? at first he was curious to know if Gil got a mark for him, but after seeing he didn't get any new ones, he was resigned to their friendship not meaning anything. sure he had hoped but ugh, best not to think about it

and Gilbert is freaking out like "why isn't he questioning if they have each other's marks??" he knows ppl do that, he's done it himself! god knows they've been stuck to each other's hip this last month so why?!

so he decides to just ask. "hey did you get my mark?" "oh no, I never got it." and he fuckinh blanks.

then Matt brings up his hand, showing Gil his palm, and there in the dead centre is Gil's mark surrounded by a ring of love. "see," Matt says, "it's the same as when we first met."

Gil had seen Matt's palms a couple times before the revelation. he didn't think seeing it now would affect him much but boy, he's gone brain dead

Gilbert raises his own palm, "mine isn't," and he knows Matt knows he's never had a mark in the dead centre. but there's one now.

"oh," Matt goes, thinking ab all the ppl he and Gil have met over the month, "congratulations, I suppose we'll have to find out who it is…"

which makes Gil go crazy, "no, no, no, how did you—no, Matthew it's you." Matt stares at him like "are you off your rocker?" and Gil recounts the event that gave him the mark, and telling everyone asking for help and how Francis was no help at all

and Matt's like "Yo! Francis called me that evening, saying how my heart was closer than I thought. I thought that he was just drunk, but if…. Tabarnak!" pacing around the room suddenly speaking quick french

there are tears suddenly but he's not wailing, instead smiling wildly, "I thought you were dead!" and Gilbert grins back "I thought you didn't even exist!"

(and idk ab you but this last bit gets me grinning wildly bc Gilbert Will Die, and Matt is usually forgotten to the point he can go ghost. he he he)

so they like. just exist with each other being stupid ab how stupid it all is 8:05 PM · Apr 20, 2020

[mythica0]

Whimsy

🎂: ROTTMNT

🧁: Donnie, Raph

🍫: Leo, Mikey

Summary: The Lair has been a little too serious and dreary for the sunshine brothers, so they decide to be silly and bring some laughter!

A/N: I finally figured out how I want this to go! This is mainly build up but there are tickles at the end! We love the sillies! This is your friendly reminder to be silly and whimsical people! Enjoy!

Whimsy

It was quiet. It had been a tough week for the turtles.

This caused a serious atmosphere around the lair, Donnie held up in his lab all the time and Raph usually training or exercising.

However, Leo and Mikey were hanging together in the latters room. The sunshine duo didn’t like the somber attitude from their brothers, so they were trying to figure something out.

They kept brainstorming ideas on how to bring some laughter and light back into the space.

Once they had a list, they were ready to set up the plan. However, they both had a thought just as they were about to leave Mikey’s room.

“I have another idea!” They said at the same time.

Leo pointed to Mikey as if to say ‘you first’ and Mikey nodded.

“What if we tickle them! Then they have no choice but to laugh and be happy!”

“No way, that was my thought too! We can make them be silly and childish for a moment!”

“Let’s add it to the list!”

Then they moved along into the common room to set it up.

They had a long list to get through, but the first one was a surprise pizza party!

They had some hand-made decorations, (curtesy of Mikey of course)pizza to eat and more!

They even made sure to get music that was funny or silly in some way.

After that, the next step was getting the others in there!

“Hey Donnie, Raph, we ordered pizza!”

“Cool! Be right there!” Donnie shouted out.

A few seconds later, the two were in the common area entrance, confusion written on their faces.

“Surprise! We planned a little party! We got pizza, soda and music!”Mikey explained.

“What- why? What’s the goal here?” Donnie questioned.

“To have fun, of course! Now come on!”

Raph stood there a moment and then heard what music was playing and chuckled a bit. “Is this weird al?”

“You bet cha!”

Mikey and Leo nodded at eachother. Time for the next item in their list! Some signature Leo dad-jokes! (A/N: these are actually a bunch of dad jokes I just have in my phone lol)

Leo walked up to the set Microphone on the far side of the room.

“Are you guys ready for some killer jokes!” He called out.

Donnie rolled his eyes and groaned, but he was smiling. This was working!

“Why don’t you sharpen a broken pencil?”

“Why?”

“Cause it’s pointless!” That got a few giggles.

“What’s the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue?”

“You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna.”

Donnie raised an eyebrow. “What about the glue?”

Leo smirked and winked. “I knew you’d get stuck there!”

Donnie groaned to hide his light laughs. “Walked right into that didn’t I?”

“Why did the ocean break up with the pond?”

“It thought the pond was too shallow!”

“Oh, great” Donnie groaned again.

“What did the pond reply?”

Donnie just sharpened his gaze and said “what?”

“Oh you’re just salty!”

Raph actually burst into small giggles from that one, and Donnie just put his face to the floor.

It was supposed to look like an intense facepalm, but Leo knew he was hiding laughter. So did Mikey, so he just tapped Donnie on the shoulder and whispered.

“You allowed to laugh, you know. “

The soft shell didn’t lift his head from the floor as he just spoke slowly, “bahad johoke”

“Then why are you laughing?”

Seeing the interaction reminded Leo of something that had made his twin laugh before.

“Oh, woe is me! My twin thought the joke was so bad he had to hide! What a shame~”

That broke the others facade, as he broke into giggles at his twins overplayed plea.

“Yohou’re sohoho drahahahamahahatic!”

Leo smiled at the sound.

The slider continued telling jokes for a minute, and eventually got off the stage, all three of his brothers laughing at least a bit.

They continued down their list, playing some video games, doing a little improv game (for the theater kids AKA disaster twins)

And lastly, the arrived to the final item on their list.

“So, brothers, there’s one last thing we want to do!”

“What would that be?” Raph asked

The sunshine brothers walked up to the others, Mikey towards Raph, and Leo towards Donnie.

“Oh, nothing,” Mikey started, “just this!” And right on cue, both of them started to tickle.

Mikey scratched against Raph’s shell spikes, causing him to fall forward in laughter.

Leo traced Donnie’s sides in random patterns, making him to squirm and giggle.

“Whyhyhy!” The soft shell called.

“Because you two need a bit of childishness!” Leo responded, with Mikey adding,

“And laughter and silliness! That’s why we did all of this!”

The soft shell and Snapper just laughed and laughed!

When Leo moved to Donnie’s she’ll, he started pounding his fist on the ground through his laughter.

Raph had started to tear up a bit from laughing so much.

Leo and Mikey got up and retrieved some water for the older brothers. (A/N: I am a “Donnie is the older twin” supporter because Leo and Mikey give me younger sibling energy)

After recovering, the four just talked and had fun together the rest of the evening.

It was so much fun to fill the lair with whimsy!

———THE END————————————————

[chloeverto]

Haha oh hey there didn't realize you were there. Well how long were you there? Oh haha no matter. I got your favorite flavor of popsicle. Blue Raspberry! Removed the wooden stick and everything for you. Oh yep yep, bowl and spoon right here haha. Always one step ahead aren't you. That's cool yeah yeah cool. Oh my? No I had mine earlier haha. Yeah Banana flavored. You wanna watch a dhow or something? Speaking of Netflix didya hear about its stock? Yeah dropping like flies. Oh wow you finished your popsicle already! Do you want another? No? Ok. Yes I remember. Doctor said only one a day. I just thought maybe you wanted another. Hey do you wanna go for a drive? I feel like going 35 down the highway. No yeah my car got out of the shop last Monday. Picked it up right when they opened. Got some potatoes while I was out too. Made some mashed potatoes, turkey gravey, popcorn chicken. Delish!! Well I did have leftovers but I ate it all already. Last Monday remember haha. You silly goose. Anyways, I think Jerma is live right now? Streaming the new Percy Jackson game, apparently it has a lot of bugs. No yeah, the game was adapted from the movie so you know it's gonna be bad. I heard no voice actors would even touch it so they just got game devs to do all the voices. Surprisingly the sound effects are top notch. Ok sick yeah, let me just plug the HDMI into my laptap. Oh sick! We're in the prestream. Think we could do a one guy moment? Haha yeah yeah, I heard they're al scripted. No yeah, Jerma and Ster have a game where Ster will use fake accounts to send messages and Jerma has to guess which messages are Ster's. Yeah I know right, with how fast that chat moves it's hard to read even a single message. I kinda wanna go on a drive right now. But like, not really you know? Sometimes the car just beckons to me. The exhaust? No that's so weird. Hey wanna know what that reminded me of though. When I was a kid I threw a rock at my friend's head and sent him to the hospital. He came back the next day but then I moved houses. Haha yeah I still feel kinda bad about it. Wait what did Jerma just say? Ahha no way! That's gonna be nominated for best one guy moment for sure! What's that? Oh yeah for sure that was Ster haha. I don't actually believe that by the way, just a funny conspiracy theory. Isn't your dad into some weird conspiracy theories? Uh huh, yeah. No yeah how can people fall for that haha. That's crazy, could you even imagine how crazy that would be hahahaha. Hey you know what why don't I get some icecream. I'm thinking Mint Chocolate Chip, you? Yeah ok sounds good. I'll run to the store and be right back.

20 days later

Happy Wednesday Mom! Humpday!! Woooo! Yeah ahaha!

6 Hours later

Hey I'm home, how are you? Oh no! Tell me about it. Ah well fair enough, I had an alright day. Saw my mom earlier. We just chatted, surprisingly pleasant. Well of course not, you know how they are. Different generation and all that junk. Junk inside your trunk. Yeehaw! Those are some horses. Horses run very quickly even though their legs are like a finger, or however that fun fact goes. Did you know that there are different sizes of infinity? Like the whole set of integers, you know n+1 where n is the current number. All the numbers you would reaxh using that expression. Countably Infinite. What is uncountably infinite is all real numbers. So that would include numbers with decimals and stuff. Cause 1.0 is a number and 1.1 is a number and 1.01 is a number and 1.001 is a number and 1.0001 is a number and so forth. You can't even get to 2. It's that big. How crazy is that! While yeah numbers and counting and shit is like, made up by humans it's still cool. Sven if it has no practical real world use. Though maybe that's just me being autistic. If you made it this far tag your friends! No but yeah, I'm just a quirky trans girl just living it up in the big city! Not a care in the world! I sometimes look out the window with my cat when he chirps. Try to see what he sees. He's a little orange fella. Real cute. Mostly birds you know? Sometimes we talk him out for a walk, just around the neighborhood. Put his collar, vest, and leash on.

Ons time in a walk he fisted a hole in a tree and a bird flew out. It was so crazy! I have a final I should be working on, but I like tip typing away at my phone. Like a little movie script. Haha would it be funny if I asked my boyfriend to proofread all of this. Haha that would be so crazy. I want this post to be longer. My goal was to make this like, the length of color of the sky. You know? The type of post that just takes a while to scroll past. I might have to just put it in my drafts and add on later. This is the end of the first time I add to this

Bro it's like 2 years later how crazy is that. Fuck fuck ufkc fuck fuck duck dick fuck fuckd ducm hahhahaba FUCK YOU A grape what even is that. Raisins my ass we kill plants in this ass. Root and all I just go into the woods and start pulling them up. Don't even harvest them I just like this is FALSE I DO NOT go into the nature by myself and I largely leave nature alone. I think I watched The Original Jumanji too young and now plants scare me kinda. Mushrooms too but that's from Ben 10 I think. Fucked up you know. I could be enjoying way more different types of food but I can't. Ok back to the single sided conversation.

Hey man long time no see. Still on the 1 a day popsicle regime? Yeah I hear you man BIG pharma really sucks you in. Not that being on pills forever is bad it just sucks that it's such a strain on the individuals finances. No man I'm not a cuck that was one time. Well sure I like watcjing people kiss but anyone who likes romance movies would be a cuck then. Wait are you a cuck? Yeah ok whatever man. Anyways, wanna watch some Narnia readings on youtube? I know this one guy that just recorded all the words in the books alphabetically and just plays each word as needed. No not really, that'd be way too much work. I... yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be like this. This wasn't what this was supposed to be like. You, you never were supposed to get diagnosed with popsicle-itus. That's on me. I love you. I'll stay with you

FUCKING SIKE bitch ass get FUCKED bro I melted a popsicle and out it in your drink and now you're gonna DIE. That's what you get for fucking my mom man. Little BITCH! Oh yeah, btw I don't even like Mint Chocolate Chip. Suck on those grapes fucker. Of course I'll hold your hand. You'll wake up tomorrow and I'll find you.

Baited lul