#actually it isn't even a micro-nation

[betty-bourgeoisie]

The thing from Mrs. America (best show in the world) that I would like to bring to Hetalia (worst show in the world, but it does have bright colors) is the idea of children being in political space.

All throughout Mrs. America you see women bringing their children along to important political and activist meetings. Children and childcare are portrayed as an equal responsibility and obligation to the political ones these women have taken on.

And it occurs to me like... who is running the daycare for immortal nation children? No one.

Baby nations absolutely would get brought along to diplomatic meetings and held while negotiations were going down. There is no reason to think Romania isn't bringing little Moldova to world meetings, or that Norway didn't have little Iceland set up in a corner with his favorite toys while he took meetings with royalty.

The negotiation of childcare in the Hetalia universe has always troubled me, because I'm a deeply boring person who can't suspend my disbelief and accept world building until I know how the dishes get done. I have thought through this issue in so many different ways.

Maybe there is a daycare/ school just for young nations but how would that work with time zones and traveling? Where would it even be located? And how does the location of said nation daycare not end up being a huge fucking political issue in universe?

Maybe the nations hand their children off to other friend and family nations to be watched, just like human parents often do. But all those friend and family nations also work in politics, so that's not necessarily a realistic solution.

I've seen nannys suggested as a childcare solution for Hetalia characters a number of times, but personally, I think that young nations probably have different enough care needs from human children that finding a nanny who's skills transfer adequately would be difficult.

Maybe the micro-nations get babysitting gigs whenever a young nation needs to be watched, but then, you know, I wouldn't want Sealand to be in charge of my kid.

Maybe governments provide childcare for their nations, but that would imply a world where governments actually gave a shit about making work spaces equitable for parents, so that's probably the least realistic of all 🙄

Anyway, all of this is to say that it never really occurred to me that the nations would just bring their kids with them. Like in some ways, it's the most obvious answer, but I am so unused to seeing children anywhere near political spaces that I didn't even think about it.

The idea that nations with children just bring their kids to work most of the time totally changes so much about their world for me. Like they show up to world meetings and there are always kids there? That's a totally different energy from what is portrayed in the show! That is a whole other dynamic. Is child rearing in these group settings communal? Or are parents the only people in charge of their kids during meetings? And how does that all interact with whatever political tensions and rivalries a parent nation might have? I have so many questions!

Anyways, if you read all this please do share how you think nations handle child rearing because I actually think about this far more than I would like to admit, and I would love to hear other people's takes

[useless-catalanfacts]

As you've discussed in your blog there's a distinction between Catalans and Valenciansin terms of identity, is there also one for Balearics?

(Sorry it took me a few days to answer, I've been very busy lately and I didn't have time to write a long post.)

First of all, I wouldn't quite say there is a distinction between Valencian and Catalan identity, because for many there isn't. For many Valencians, it's obvious that Valencians are part of the Catalan Countries, but there are right-wing groups who try very hard to push the idea that they're completely different, ignoring uhhh.... All of history, language and most of culture, and basing on pseudohistory, a handful of dialectal/accent differences and mostly a lot of Catalanophobia and Spanish nationalism/supremacy (some of this groups are openly fascist/neo-nazi). I know you're simplifying in order to ask the question, but I just wanted to make it clear.

For those new to the argument, I'll link to a previous post talking about Blaverism (the right-wing movement to consider the Valencian Country separate from the rest of the Catalan Countries, only a region of Spain, justified with conspiracy theories that contradict every serious historian and linguist):

To answer your question: in the Balearic Islands, it hasn't really happened. Technically it exists, it's the posture known as "neogonellisme", but it's soooo small that most people have never heard about it, and very often (as we'll see below) it's imposed from outside of the Balearic islands. In the (extremely few) cases where people from the Balearic Islands have defensed this, it was always Spanish nationalists who wrote exclusively in Spanish (mostly Antoni Alemany). When there's people in the Balearics who want to distance themselves from the rest of the Catalan Countries, it's usually just Spanish nationalism with Mallorcan regionalism, not an indentity in itself (like the now dead Centro Cultural Mallorquí and the still "active" Grupo d'Acció Baléà, Catalanophobic groups created by copying the Valencian blaverist groups).

I've only heard of the existence of these groups years ago when I was doing research into Blaverism, but I've never heard any Balearic person consider that their language isn't Catalan or that they're culturally something else. I know many Mallorcans, some Menorcans and an Eivissan and I think they'd be surprised to hear about this micro-movement.

However, right-wing Spanish groups are trying to push this idea there, since the "divide and conquer" strategy kind of worked in the Valencian Country. For example, the conservative politician Pablo Casado (of the PP party, he's from Castille) went to the Balearic Islands and gave a speech saying "what you speak in the Balearics isn't Catalan, you speak Mallorcan, Menorcan, Ibizan and Formenteran". Basically, this dude who doesn't even speak the language comes to tell us what is it that we speak lmao, but not only that, he says that each island speaks a different language! If I hadn't heard him on the news and knew about the Blaverism he's trying to copy, I would think this was made up as a joke. Sadly, a few time later, the Spanish so-called "left" wing party Podemos also copied this idea and tried to pass a law saying that Catalan in the Balearic Islands from now on should be called "Balearic". Both of this things were widely mocked, of course, since they don't make any sense and everyone considered them ridiculous.

So yeah, the idea exists, but it mostly comes from Spanish people who don't even speak the language and who try to convince us of it for purely ideological reasons, not because they actually believe it's something different. However, very few people actually believe it or defend it so it's basically seen as a joke, unlike Valencian Blaverism which is a bigger movement and well-organised in neo-nazi or philofascist organizations that have even attacked people for it and often get books banned for being written in "Barceloni", have prohibited Catalan TV and radio stations in the Valencian Country, etc., as we explained before.

[retribution-if]

Hi, I hope you don't find this rude or demanding or anything. Your decision to limit skin and eyes tones makes sense, and anyway it's up to you what you want to put in your story! I'm finding this very awkward to phrase, but I personally find your decision to limit to be a little bit uncomfortable. It's fine, nothing has to be about white peoples comfort with race, and I'll probably play regardless because I really like your writing and it's not that big of a deal.

My discomfort comes from the fact I'm white (and not American), but I understand that being white (especially in a white majority country, in a very white area), is very different to what a POC will have unfortunately experienced in life, and it's something I'll never be able to understand fully. There's not just outright racism, but micro aggressions and history that are against you/remind you of the past (and not to get into a censorship debate, but I can totally understand why some people want older stuff censored because of the racism, people should be able to enjoy things without having to suddenly come across a slur. The argument is more nuanced in a historical or anti-racist setting, like in To Kill A Mockingbird). Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that, as I will never fully understand what it is like to be a POC, I don't want to "play" at being one as an OC/roleplay because I'll never actually experience what it's like to be one.

Anyway that's all what I wanted to tell you. Your game is probably not going to explore racism anyway! I just wanted to give you my two cents as it were. Thanks for reading all of this, I hope it comes across clearly and not racist! Please do whatever you feel is best for you and your story. If you find this offensive, I am very sorry and please delete this.

Anyway the point I was trying to make is that I will never fully understand what it is like to be POC, I don't want to "play" at being one as an OC/roleplay because I'll never actually experience what it's like to be one.

Thank you for reading, and I hope this doesn't come off as completely racist!

You could've just went with this and left it at that. You didn't have to make a whole speech about censorship, and why you're "uncomfortable" with playing as POC, and that you're white and from the whitest place in your country.

And no, I'm not deleting this because I want to set things straight here.

I'm sure old followers from my main IF are aware, but for those who aren't I am POC. I just write English well, because it's my 2nd language.

The fact you even included the topic of racism when there was none to begin with because I decided to limit the MC customization to have skin color that's darker than white.

I don't care if you get uncomfortable because of this. There are far more IF's where MC can/is white or light-skinned, so why can't you go there and indulge yourself there? Why are you still here? For the story that you can't properly enjoy because you're so bothered by the fact that you can't be light skinned? Is that it?

Racism isn't and never was the topic here.

The characters have NO nationality. They are just people of different color in a revenge story.

How the hell is this entwined with racism of all things? What insentive did you have to bring this up? What's your goal here? To shout out that you don't like this?

You know you can just unfollow me and consume something else, right? I'm not less of an author with one less follower. Why waste your time and effort on something so petty?

If you can't understand that, then I suggest you leave and go read another IF where you can be light-skinned and be "comfortable" in your own skin.

[helenarlett-rex]

Her Grace The Reverend Dr. Helen Arlet, Duke of Merania, PhD is the funniest shit i've ever heard. How do you even get all those titles?

First you go find some deposed noble who doesn't actually have any power anymore but still has his title and the ability to grant others titles through antiquated, medieval law that was never officially taken off the books. Find an online coupon and use it to buy a title of nobility from him for a defunct duchy that doesn't exist anymore. You won't have any actual land or power but the title itself is still legal and with the coupon it will only cost you about eight bucks. You could always go a slightly more legitimate rout and buy a title from a micro-nation, like the Principality of Sealand for example. Then your title would actually be recognized by royalty, even if it is just the royalty ruling over a fucking platform in the middle of the ocean... But that's a bit more expensive and we're not getting a title to be recognized by the aristocracy... we're getting one to give them the finger by showing anyone can become nobility and their fancy titles and "noble blood" doesn't mean shit. So if you don't feel like throwing gobs of cash at the Prince of Sealand you can just go hit up the Electoral Prince of Persia with some beer money and he'll make you a Duke in Germany or something.

Now that you've obtained your title of nobility (I went with Duke because it's a non-binary title that can be granted to men or women, not to mention you get to be called "Your Grace" which was too much for me to pass up as a Gray Asexual) your next step is ordainment. Most people think that requires 1, being religious, and 2, spending lots of time and money attending seminary. But not so if you find yourself a nice nondenominational church that accepts all beliefs (yeah, those actually exist) and will offer ordainment online. Then all you have to do is apply and next thing you know you're a priest. Or whatever other title you want... Took you all of five minutes and only cost the price of printing your credentials and having them shipped to you.

So now that we've spit in the face of the aristocracy by obtaining nobility without noble blood and spit in the face of organized religion by obtaining ordainment without working for it (and being queer on top of that) all we've got left to do is spit in the face of academia. Not that school and education isn't important. It is... Really important... But fuck the colleges, you know? I'm not going into debt for the rest of my life just to get a degree that won't even guarantee me a job. You know how many people with college degrees I've met running a register at the grocery store? Pretty much everyone I work with has a college degree and they're all working part time jobs for minimum wage. Or doing like my brother and spending the rest of his life in the military just to pay off the student loan debt for the degree he'll never get to use now... Fuck that. I'm an ordained Reverend. I can just get a doctorate in something abstract like metaphysics. They'll literally just give it to me. Cost like, twenty bucks... Now you're a doctor. You're a doctor of something worthless, but still a doctor.

And now that you too know how to become Their Grace The Reverend Dr. (Insert Name), Duke of (Insert Place), PhD, I'm off to go work towards getting certified as an exorcist now.

[sassypotatoe1]

I read your reblog about your living situation and I'm sorry you're in such dire straits. Have you considered moving to a different town or state? Is there any way I can help?

Hi! That blog was mostly a commentary on the current economic state of the world and a show of solidarity. I also live in one of the cheapest towns in my country, and looking at property in the other cheapest towns in the country according to our state stats body has yielded no luck. The problem here, and in many countries, is that property has been allowed to appreciate according to real estate agencies' whims for upwards of 50 years, but wages have been stagnant for most people for even longer than that. In south africa the unemployment rate, but especially the youth unemployment rate has skyrocketed drastically. However high you think it is, it's higher.

I do really appreciate the sentiment, and I'm glad you sent this ask, but unfortunately the solution isn't really to move somewhere else, because especially here in south africa when the stats are released of which towns are the cheapest to live or own property in, rich people and property developers flock to those places to buy up all the available property for holiday homes or bed and breakfasts, and then they buy the shops and price gouge the fuck out of everything because they know that people will see the stats and come running trying to find a place where they can survive.

Then when they've made their money out of the town they leave and list their property at triple or even quadruple the original value it was listed at just a year before, making it an impossible town to find property in, and leaving long-term residents in a wrecked micro economy. I've seen it happen 27 times in the last 5 years I've been monitoring the national property market. It's happening to my home town right now.

And you'd think it's house flippers and gentrification how Americans experience it, but very often these rich people buy a house for a couple hundred thousand, slap some new paint on it and get a landscaping company to update the garden, and then a year later when their effect has caused the entire town to become more expensive to live in, and their profit off this property is smaller, they leave and list it for a couple million. It doesn't get sold, they get a write-off on it, no one can move into the property, it falls apart. They add no actual value to the property or the area, they're just there to bleed the place dry and move on.

The overall solution for society is to cap property value appreciation at fixed rates. What would it cost to build an identical house and create an identical garden? That's your property value. It's valued at its actual material value. From my more socialist, radicalized perspective I firmly believe that food, Healthcare, education, shelter, clothes, utilities and transport should be completely free. Everything you earn with your work in excess of what you personally get from it* goes to luxury items. Arts, holidays, comfort, entertainment. Voting and lobbying and protesting to get to that point is what's needed.

*my take on this is too nuanced to include in this post I'd have to actually sit down outside of work hours and cite sources and write a bona fide academic dissertation.

Anyway you can help me personally by donating money to my Kofi or buying products from my redbubble, which are both linked over on my mostly dead art blog (I haven't had time to make any art for months) @snowflkedivergent. The money I get through these platforms pay into PayPal, from which I can't transfer money into my bank account because only one bank in the country accepts withdrawals from PayPal and I've been trying to open an account unsuccessfully for 5 years.

Instead I use money I make there to purchase stuff from wish, Amazon etc. To make physical art with, that I can then sell at markets to make more money. This is very slow going because I'm too busy to actually make the art, but when I'm behind on projects and still have a lot of stock to use up like now I use that money to buy clothes as my clothes get worn out or no longer fit.

I say all this so you know what your money would be going towards if you choose to donate, and that I'm not using it irresponsibly. The money I save buying these things with donation money goes directly into my fixed deposit for housing.

Again, thank you for this ask and for caring and wanting to help, I really appreciate it. Find out about housing lobbyists in your area and put pressure on the government to make quality housing accessible again.

[inavagrant-a]

The face I make when I see Scara stans try to shove down everybody’s throat that “Scaramouch e is the most multi-faceted and most in-depth character in this entire game” claim..... ..

[hematomes]

Send help I somehow ended up on Genshin tiktok and they're calling Paimon racist for "being mean" to Sumeru characters and having trouble with Aranara terminology.

She's obliviously rude to literally everyone and is portrayed to be a child, so she's gonna have issue with Aranara terminology (tbf it's hard to grip at first).

These ppl will reach for ANYTHING to scream racism jfc

oh no you're gonna hate me cries

i. don't think that paimon's racist ofc that's stupid the character in itself isn't racist at all. but it's not a secret that the company in itself is at least colorist (which makes "sense" in a disgusting way bc they aim for the beauty standard in china which is pale skin etc etc). and paimon would be an easy way to push their ideas bc she's comic relief and a child so no one rly questions what she says. but it's nothing concrete, as i said it could simply be comic relief (which doesn't make it better imo bc she still doubles down on micro-agressions)

anyway it kinda ticked me to see so many ppl talking abt it so i decided to research a bit and they're not exactly wrong on some parts. she refuses cultural food even tho girlie happily eats slimes, she made fun of the potion event girl's name (i won't mention the aranara bc it's a peculiar case & it's visibly meant to be "hard" bc that's how they communicate) and overall she's been kinda rude since 3.0. im not saying she wasn't initially, but she was.. less obvious and agressive? that's how i feel abt it anyway

then again the characters' attitude towards her is also very different from other nations. dehya, cyno and al-haitham keep telling her to shut up for some reason, so ig it kinda evens it out

ANYWAY MY POINT IS. paimon's rude and ignorant bc she's basically a kid, but it still feels like micro-agressions so i personally understand why they're pissed abt it. HOWEVER i still think calling her racist is weird and shows how a lot of loud genshin players are misguided and prefer hating on characters (or voice actors for some reason) than on the actual, real person's who created them that way.

then again im kinda biased bc my opinion on paimon is very inconsistent, i love her relationship with the traveler but otherwise she kinda irked me during the recent quests, precisely bc she's rly rude and also im still pissed abt her buying canned knowledge with my money even tho i refused ABDKAK

tldr; overall i agree with you abt how dramatic they're being but it's still a weird attitude imo, even for paimon, and i wouldn't put it past hyv to normalize micro-agressions as a form of comedy/comic relief

[ludiharambasha]

...Are you functionally illiterate? I literally did say that I have no qualms with Aang not killing Ozai because that would have been in accordance with the code of ethics of his people, what I do have a problem with is the aftermath of said narrative choice not following through with the implications of said decision.

When Aang considers whether he should take a life or not, he separated Ozai from the Fire Nation. Had the writers opted for Ozai as a symbol, defeating him (whether it would result with his death or not) would have been equal to defeating the Fire Nation. When Aang considers whether he should take a life, he is giving Ozai moral consideration outside of what Ozai previously represented. When Aang even questions this, he is taking him out of this metonymy in a very intersting way. Ozai still stands for the evils of the Fire Nation, but not for the people who actually did commit said evil. It is an incredibly interesting narrative choice, that created narrative problems only after Aang actually defeated Ozai, something you would have understood had you carefully read what I wrote.

If Ozai isn't the personification of the people of the Fire Nation, then defeating Ozai and bringing him to justice (stripping him of his power) is not full closure of the story (it may be for Aang), as the people of the Fire Nation who are just as culpable for what has been happening in the last 100 years, have not been tried for their culpability. And they never are. Aang is not the only person who has suffered in this war (although, he suffered the most), and other people who are victims of the Fire Nation have a right to not simply stop the conquest of the Fire Nation and leave it at that. That perspective is not adressed in AtLA. Just because Aang wants to separate the Fire Lord from his people doesn't mean that others should be compelled to make the same choice, and this is completely ignored at the end of the story, and outright demonized earlier in the story on a micro level (Jet and Hama). The people of the Fire nation are exempted from their crimes and moral consideration, something I have a problem with. Again, thinking that a writing choice is bad does not mean you don't understand it.

This is not a criticism of Aang as he has the full right to react to the genocide fo his people however he sees fit, and I actually felt that this was rather compelling for Aang as a character specifically, but not the narrative as a whole; my criticism was beyond Aang as a character.

Also, IQ was literally invented by white supremacists, can you not use it to insult people? I hope you can do better that that. Also, maybe stop insulting people over animated shows?

While I am not against the idea of Aang not killing The Firelord, and instead imparting justice for the genocide of his people on his own terms and in accordance with his culture per se, something about that narrative thread and how it was explored in the series rubs me the wrong way. It was apparent that AtLA was a rather neolib narrative from the get-go, and this choice is one that is br a culmination of this twisted mindset.

The thing is, killing The Firelord was always meant to be a symbolic action rather than a literal one. The Fire Nation started its military campaigns and conquest long before Ozai was even born. Killing The Current Firelord is not an immediate band-aid fix to a hundred years of oppreasion the other nations suffered through. While yes, The Firelords stand for the Fire Nation's imperialism, the people of the Fire Nation directly attributed to these campaigns. Ozai didn't kill the Waterbenders of the Southern Water tribe, nor the Airbenders, and neither did Sozin. People of the Fire Nation and its soldiers did.

And killing Ozai would have been a fine narrative choice, as Ozai is nothing more than a symbol of the Fire Nation, and his death would symbolize the death of the Fire Nation itself, and its ideology. One could argue that that would have been a rather simplistic choice, but a completely fine and appropriate one for a children's cartoon. After all, children's media rests upon these personified or metonymic representations of abstract things, substituting them with something concrete. While it would have been an obersimplification of the conflict, it would have been narratively more effective than what the series actually offered.

When Aang refuses to kill Ozai, it brings forth all kinds of complications into the narrative, by completely shattering that symbolic aspect of the entire ordeal. The entire series hinged on Aang going against the Firelord, and the audience's engagement was based on this suspension of disbeleif that killing the Firelord is in essence, killing the Fore Nation.

Now, when you decide to take this route you have to engage with the literal implication of their fight. Killing the Firelord isn't the end, as the people who actively upheld that system are still alive and did not answer for any of their crimes against humanity. So naturally, defeating the Firelord would only be the first step in that direction-but the writers of the series did not engage with that choice, not really. The series did pretty much end with Aang defeating the Firelord and taking away his bending, and reinstating Zuko as the new Firelord. The people that up until yesterday murdered or fully supported the murder and annihilation of the other nations, just magically start supporting and accepting peace, and aside from Azula and Ozai, no one answers for anything.

Nevermind that Iroh was also a military commander and killed many innocents, nevermind what Zuko did, nevermind that people that tortured Hama and their ascendants are walking scott free, never mind that we never see what happened to the police officers in the Boiling Rock or the Fire Nation's soldiers that didn't die during Sozin's comet. Noone ever pays for murdering Jet's family.

I truly don't understand this choice. You either make the narrative more simple, or you dabble in the more complex implications of it, you cannot have your cake and eat it too.

The people of the other Nations are supposed to just make peace with the people that butchered their loved ones for an entire century.

[onbeinganangel]

least read fics ✨

i was tagged by @danpuff-ao3 and @sweet-s0rr0w (see their posts here, and here, respectively, and go read those unloved hidden gems pls and thanks) to share my 5 least read fics on ao3, by either hits or kudos. this game was going around for National Author's Day and, as per usual, i'm so late it's not even fashionable anymore. ooopsies. thank you for the tags, pals!

while i think both hits and kudos are very flawed statistics i decided to go with hits for this one. my least read five, from the very bottom up are:

2020 Microfics [1100 words, 22 drarry microfics, rated E, warnings vary]

A collection of microfics written for Drarry Microfic's 2020 prompts.

a little too good to be true [800 words, ginsy, rated T, no warnings]

For a date that had started with Pansy surreptitiously pulling her phone out and texting Draco, in all caps, “You told me it was someone I didn’t know, you actual ballbag” the blind date had gone surprisingly well. It helped that Pansy accidentally blurted out what Draco had told her as soon as she laid eyes on Ginny, and Ginny laughed and replied with a “Well, Harry said, and I quote ‘She’s really lovely, give her a chance,’ so here I am.”

do it again [750 words, drarry, rated T, no warnings]

Luna,

I’m sorry. I know it’s the second time we’ve had to reschedule this interview. Work has been mental today and Ron got punched in the face. (He’s fine, it was kind of funny.) Draco will be mardy so if you have any of those hibiscus biscuits of yours with the lemon icing that you could spare, send him home with a few. I’ll owe you.

Tell him I’m really sorry and I’ll see you both at the Gala tonight.

H x

overture [115 words, drarry, rated T, no warnings]

In which Harry tells Draco all about his life.

2021 Microfics [5050 words, 95 drarry microfics, rated E, warnings vary]

A collection of microfics written for Drarry Microfic's 2021 prompts.

i accidentally rambled on (who's suprised? not me) about stats and about quality and about hits vs. kudos and all that nonsense so i'm putting the rest of this post under a cut. before that though, i'm going to link you to what is my 6th fic with the least amount of hits, because i am honestly appalled that it ranks 6th, as it's one of my favourite things i have ever written.

the underdog, the honourable mention, the but-mari-that's-not-in-the-rules:

Liturgia Horarum [1500, drarry, rated M, no warnings]

From morning melodies to evening encores, a day in the life through the soundtrack of routine.

and now, for my thoughts:

except for that last minute mention, the actual bottom 5 doesn't really surprise me at all. we have both sets of microfics, 2020's and 2021's and I think we all agree short form (especially extremely short form like micros) does much better on tumblr, plus the fact that they're all under the same work on ao3 despite it not being a cohesive story isn't super helpful. they're mostly there for archival purposes, and mostly for me. i do love having them all in the same place, and it does help me personally when i lose perspective. sometimes i open it just so i can tell myself "look at that, you wrote all those 50 word wee fuckers in numerous genres and styles, and tropes and ideas, all of them about the same two guys" lmao as a reader, i would much prefer to come across microfics and drabbles on tumblr than crammed into one work on ao3, so that makes sense to me.

the other three are T rated, short, and on top of that one of them is femslash too! (truly the holy trifecta of nopes, let's be honest there). so, really. this is unsurprising all around.

it's interesting though, because i'm a curious cat, and i couldn't help compare this to my stats by kudos — do keep in mind i never open my statistics page so looking at it to make this post was really cool! i notice that while i understand why none of these have more hits, they're pieces i quite like, personally. they're nowhere near my favourite things i've ever written, but they're stuff i think it's decent. i think they're alright.

on the other side of that though, are my kudos. when i sort by kudos, both sets of microfics are still on that bottom 5, which again, makes sense. BUT very different fics join those at the bottom of the list. interestingly, the other three fics are quite possibly my least favourite things i've written, the ones i keep on ao3 for the sake of archival but secretly pray no one ever reads! they are a lot higher hit-wise than the ones on the list above (E rated, generally quite porny though the writing/tropes/pairings are rather questionable), but they're at the bottom kudos-wise, which is a fun revelation! maybe it means my own judgement isn't that clouded and that readers and i agree when stuff is a bit... you know, shit. LOL

i find it really fun to look at this kind of thing. i do think the whole point of the game was sharing our less-loved stuff in way of reccommending it/getting it more love, and i ended up just analysing the statistics page. i do enjoy all of these, and none of them are shit, but if you were gonna pick any, for the love of god, read Liturgia Horarum.

can't think of who to tag, but if you haven't done it and you have read all my stupid rambling, you should do it and tag me on it so i can look, thank you <3

[95jezzica]

The nation-jumping headcanon made me think of another question. . . . I love discussing meta/how the nations work, and i know most of the fandom thinks that the nations can "nation-jump" within their own country.

My headcanons about the limits of this are: - they can't Jump into their country from outside of it - they can't take humans with them, but can bring other nations - It's hard to bring things with them, it sometimes has an effect on food or delicate objects and so its best to travel "normally" sometimes - its hard to Jump onto places that arent connected to ground- the top floor of a skyscraper is pretty much off limits, anywhere touching grass or dirt or stone is easy, and most things are somewhere in between -they can Jump to places they haven"t been before, but it works better if they know something about it/have a picture of it It looks like you headcanon that nation-jumping can also work outside the nation- are there any limits to it? does it take a lot more effort when outside of your own country, is it harder to Jump to a place that's farther from your country?

And it also seems like teleporting is a different skill than nation jumping in your headcanon, and is connected to magic. I would guess that every nation can nation-jump, but only countries with magic can teleport. Are the limits to this different than nation jumping? I would think so: below are my headcanons, what are your thoughts ?

- Teleporting is only available to nations with magic - It isn't limited by being close to the ground - You either need to have been to the place before or have the place in sight - Humans can be brought along - Not as dangerous to delicate objects - It uses a different source of energy than nation-jumping; if this was a video game teleporting would use the "magic" bar and nation-jumping the "stamina" bar or something. So, if you're out of magic and can't teleport you might still be able to nation-jump.

This is a lot, but i really like discussing the worldbuilding/ all the logical details of how something fictional and not quite logical would work. It's kind of fun!

*(Cracks knuckles)* - Alright buckle your seatbelts folks, because to explain how I see nation-jumping and teleporting I will also need to explain how I headcanon magic to work in the Hetalia-verse. To start with I headcanon Hetalia magic in three (3) parts.

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Nation Magic / NmP is something all nations (and micro-nations / states / regions) have and are able to use. It connects a personification to their land and people, though full-ledged nations have more of it than say micro-nations. NmP is also what makes sure there is always at least one representive for each country, and is what lets a nation self-heal injuries to a degree and/or come back to life instead of staying dead.

However, most nations don't know about / recognize NmP as magic, since it's something all of them have and it mostly works in the background. Because of this all nations and micro-nations technically have magic, but nations with "just" NmP don't count themselves as nations with magic. For most nations, the abilities NmP give them are just considered as part of being a nation.

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Elemental Magic / EmP is based on the elements. (Lightning, water, fire, ice, rock, wind, dark & light.) This kind of magic is rare, and EmP is what "magical nations" actually have when someone calls them a nation with magic. An example would be tha Magical Trio: England, Norway and Romania. EmP is also what a nation needs to have in order to see, hear and interact with magical creatures such as the fae.

It's worth to note that I headcanon EmP is also available to humans, but this is even rarer than nations with EmP.

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Neutral Magic / NemP is pretty self-explanatory by its' name, but it's essentially a gathering name for other magic. Examples on NemP are most spells for teleporting, summoning, barriers and healing; but things like America's super-strength also count into this. (Though America himself would never count his super-strength as magic).

I headcanon most nations actually have NemP to some degree, but most of the times the "non-magical" nations don't have enough of it for the NemP to be noticeable to themselves or other nations, or it's mistaken as just another "nation ability".

Just like EmP, NemP is available to humans to a degree, though this is (once again) very rare.

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Now with the magic explained, I headcanon nation-jumping / hopping to be one of the abilities given by NmP. It gives a nation the ability to more or less freely "jump" between different places within their own country/land, but it can also be used in order to "jump" to other countries with permission from the host nation. Basically, nation-jumps to other countries only work with the concent from that country's particular personification.

For an example, if we say (hws) Canada wanted to "jump" over to (hws) America for a visit, America would feel like an unconscious tug that Canada was preparing a nation-jump to him. By America giving Canada permission, Canada would then be able to "jump over" to America (the land).

However, when a nation "jumps" to another country they always appear / end up close to their host-nation, and the ability to nation-jump also become more difficult the further you try to go and how much/little NmP the nation or micro-nation actually has. It simply takes more energy and focus to nation-jump further.

It's why someone like Liechtenstein wouldn't be able to just "hop over" to countries like USA or Singapore from home, but would have no problem with "hopping over" to Switzerland or Austria for a visit.

Because of this most nations still prefer to travel long distances the human way; especially in modern day when you can just fly to the majority of the world by plane within a few hours or a day.

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Something which also effects nation-jumping is being able to picture where you want to jump, which is why nations can only "jump" somewhere they have been before, or why nations with visual impairments find it more difficult to "hop around" countries.

In a sense you can view it as driving a car. You can technically still drive a car with bad eyesight, but it becomes more and more difficult to drive the car (safely) the worse your eyesight is, even if you technically still have the ability to drive it.

I do headcanon nation-jumping only works on a personal level, but anything they carry which doesn't have their own "will" is usually fair game on bringing along. Because of this (hws) America could "jump" with a car if he he choose to carry it with him, but usually there wouldn't be a point - and neither are most nations able to carry a car anyway.

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Meanwhile teleporting uses NemP, but only someone with a large amount of NemP would be able to make a pure teleport since it takes so much magic. Because of the large amount of NemP teleporting takes, most "magical nations" like England and Romania instead use teleportion in combination with their nation-jump. This is to lessen the strain on both kinds of magic when they travel, and/or to bring someone along.

Like for nation-jumping, I headcanon teleporting only work for places where you have been before and gets harder the further you want to go. However, unlike with nation-jumping, teleporting works for more people. If you teleport you can force another nation/person along if you're strong enough too, but it would obviously be much easier if the other person (nation, human or animal) is a willing participant.

Teleporting magic can be used to help someone along too, such as helping a micro-nation jump a longer distance than what they would otherwise be able to do. (Since micro-nations wouldn't have as much NmP as a full nation). As I have briefly mentioned in my headcanons for Norway and Sweden, teleporting magic is also how Norway stabilizes and helps Sweden's nation-jump during longer distances.

For those who don't already know, I headcanon Sweden as blind, so because of this Sweden has a harder time with nation-jumping. Especially the longer distances to other countries.

In a sense I guess you can say Norway uses his NemP during teleporting as a white cane/leading aid for Sweden's nation-jump, since Sweden has no way to visualize where he wants to go. Or, if Sweden's nation-jump is the "car", then Norway's NemP is the guy in the passenger seat who acts as the map reader.

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This accidentally ended up very long (again), but I think that's about it. I hope this answered all of your questions about how I view nation-jumping and teleporting. 😄 👍🏽

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[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and Her Gunn (Part 112) "Sliding Safely Back Home"

@crystalbaby12 @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @5sosfam1dlover @rosefilledhearts-blog

Colson had immediately called Ashleigh; who called his Cleveland housekeeper, Lucy. On a Sunday, during Fourth of July Weekend; asking her to please come clean up the mess that he had made. The conversation between Colson and Ashleigh involved a strong talking to and the promise of him watching her LIVE tutorial regarding the difference between dish soap and DISHWASHER DETERGENT. Along with an even stronger suggestion of leaving Lucy a HUGE tip for her inconvenience and troubles. Colson had agreed easily. He didn't care how much it cost as long as he didn't have to deal with the ocean of bubbles he was responsible for.

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Sticky, soaked and gross, Colson was still irritated with Luna when he joined her in the shower. Pulling hard on her hair, he roughly fucked her from behind. Not saying a word amongst his grunts and moans. Alleviating some of his frustrations along the way as he made her wince multiple times from the hard slaps he'd landed directly onto her plump ass. Luna took her punishment like a Good Girl, bouncing off of his thick cock studiously. Making them both willingly explode for the other amongst the steam.

After rinsing himself off, Colson had pushed Luna against the wall. With his oversized, heavy palm against her collarbone, he kissed her hard. Biting her lip after.

"This isn't fucking over." He promised her before stepping out of the shower.

"UGH... I hate him so FUCKING much..." Luna had thought to herself as her body flushed in desire from Colson's threat.

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"I know she didn't do shit but still...." Colson's mind continued to throb. His stomach twisting at the thought of Luna's lips touching anyone else's but his, making the jealousy roll thickly throughout his body while he dried himself off. Adamantly trying to remind himself instead of the many times Luna had shown her devotion to him.

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Colson's attitude softened a bit more as they fell into their usual routine of getting stoned and doing other drugs together while getting dressed. They talked about what Colson expected from the game amongst other small things.

With light makeup on, Luna braided her long hair into pigtails. It was when she tossed on her cherished Rizzuto jersey over a knotted white T and black leggings along with her Yankees hat, that she caught a hard SideEye from Colson.

"I seriously hope he doesn't expect me to rep The Indians... Like, EVER... Because that's a hard NO." Luna thought to herself kinda baffled by his reaction.

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"Yo! You guys wanna kick it with Sid today?" Pete had asked once they had made their way downstairs.

"What? No. We're bringing Case." Luna scowled at both of them, killing their vibe.

"Fine, how 'bout a little micro dosing then?" Pete offered up a comprise as he pulled out a bag of mushrooms.

Before Luna could protest again, Colson's hand was down the bag and the mushrooms were inside of his mouth. Chewing with a smug look on his face while watching Luna's reaction.

"Fine." She had rolled her eyes as she grabbed her own small handful.

"Let the games begin." Colson declared as he rubbed his hands together with a diabolical smile while Luna chewed.

"You guys are the worst." She went on to sigh as she shook her head, both grinning as they agreed with her.

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Not being able to find her leather on their way out, Luna had grabbed Colson's oversized jean jacket off of the couch. With Casie in her beloved, clean, yellow T-shirt, they were out the door with Mod, Rook, Benny and a strongly protesting Pete to the idea of leaving Kevin behind.

"He'll be lonely and think I abandoned him!" Pete had shouted with wild eyes, he'd started micro dosing way before offering any to Luna and Colson.

"I talked to Kev, Petey... He's knows... He's cool. I set him up with a movie and everything." Luna had calmly reassured him.

Only being able to get Pete inside the SUV after convincing him it was for Kevin's own safety. That there just weren't enough seatbelts in Colson's Navigator to get all of them to Progressive Field safely. He continued to complain with worry for a majority of the ride until Casie told him to Calm It Down.

Phem, Noah and Caroline had caught an Uber to Hopkins for a flight to LA a bit earlier. Slim heading back to his own Cleveland house in the meantime. The plan being to meet back at Colson's for Family Dinner around 730/8ish to map out the upcoming week or so.

Leaving Kevin to chill at the house alone, watching Back To The Future with a blanket and a bowl of Doritos. Luna doesn't lie.

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At Progressive Field, it's Team World V. Team Cleveland. Colson gets changed as Luna roams around the stadium with Casie, Pete, Rook, Mod and Benny. Grabbing enough hot dogs, pizza, sodas, french fries and beers to satisfy Chris Farley, minus the speedball, they head onto the field.

Mixing in with the other celebrities, Luna introduces herself to Dascha Polanco. Making an immediate friend as she genuinely gushes and congratulates her with a huge hug over her success through Orange Is The New Black and How she's Dying for the Last Season BUT NO SPOILERS, PLEASE.

Also being a NYC native, Luna finds herself having a LOT of things in common the actress. Starting off with the Bitching of The Bagel that includes huge, knowing laughs. They flow through to different HangOuts, common friends and experiences until the conversational river finally opens up to Luna's humble embarrassment when Dascha realizes who she actually is. Knowing her first and foremost by her photography and obscure reputation, it just so happens that Dascha is also a genuine fan of Dysfunctional Baggage.

Luna's new friend being wise enough to not to make a big deal out of her FanGirling Soul and to skip the verbal condolences with a simple look of acknowledgment. Breaking the verbal damn by asking Luna What Her Favorite Book Is to the artist's relief.

It's The Little Disturbances of Man. Luna's kept a hardback copy of it on her ever since she first read it when she was 10yrs old. Finding that it helps her humanize the masses when The World seems too mean for it's own good.

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Colson is busy introducing Casie to Anthony Mackie, who plays Falcon in the MCU. They're all huge fans and Colson's can't help his slightly spiteful mind snark to itself how Luna's missing out. He's still mad. At her. At Jackson. At the idea of anyone other than him being near His Girl. 

"She's gonna be saaaallttyy... I don't even fucking care. Fuck her..." Colson's mind abruptly shifts scenarios. "It may be more Jackson's fault... But that fucking bitch needs to realize what the fuck she's capable of on her own... Like, for real. Kissen' MOTHERFUCKERS and SHIT..." Colson feels his jealousy bubbles begin to simmer. Looking over Casie's head he catches Luna's eye not too far down the field. Their souls connecting instantly. Colson can feel her smile seep deep inside of him as she spreads her fingers wide to greet him like she always does. "FUUUUUUUCK Me." He pouts to himself as he feels his dick stiffen at the sight of her. Taking a gulp of air, he looks down at Casie. "Chill Kells... Focus. Kick this fucker out, then we'll deal with Luna." He pep talks himself before turning all of his attention back to Anthony, his daughter and the game ahead of him.

"Are you and AntMan friends yet? I don't believe that Captain just reeee-tired." Casie challenges as she rolls her eyes. "Annnnnnnnd, just so you know. Human is better and Carol Danvers is THE BEST." Casie cocks out her hip as she thrusts her hand onto it. "But I like that you can fly." She offers out with a slightly forgiving tone.

Colson and Anthony burst out laughing over the girl's questions and opinions. Anthony can't help but slap Colson's on the back. Reassuring him that he's got a Wild One as his roarous laughter continues before he squats down to speak with the girl.

"Yeah... I'm friends with AntMan... But he's tiny and annoying... And... Yeup, unfortunately, Cap's retired. He needed a break. He is like 500YRS OLD, you know!" Anthony chuckles as he throws his hands out to Casie's giggle. He continues on slightly serious as he looks her in the eyes. "Human is definitely better though and I don't care what the other Avengers's say..." Anthony leans closer to Casie. "You're right. Captain Marvel is THE BOSS... Her WHOLE body is an energy source!" Falcon goes on to laugh with Casie at his CoStar's undeniable powers. "And, Thank You." His tone lightens as he smiles at her softly. "I like that I can fly too." Anthony nods his head in solidification at Casie as his smile turns into grin, knowing it's more important to boost kindness, strength and acceptance inside a child over anything else.

After finishing up her chat with Falcon, Colson leads Casie over to his reserved seats. The mushrooms are just kicking in as he finds Luna and The Boys. Settling Casie, he kisses Luna with a forgiving look. With Casie muching, Rook and Benny drinking away and Luna beginning to feel the giddiness of the fungai with Pete, they all wish Colson a Good Game before he disappears again to find his team.

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Travis Hafners's daughter opens the game with The National Anthem at 5P. For as young as she is, she's perfectly on pitch and astonishingly commanding of the entire stadium. If she wasn't so young, Luna might've immediately thought to sign her.

Being leery of the Music Business herself, she finds herself going back and forth about it by the bottom of the First as her third eye opens. Not being able to decide on whether to leave the girl alone or to step in. "I know I'm not the only one to hear her power... Fuck, the game's being the televised... I COULD be a protective barrier between an impressionable girl and some much unnecessary Nastiness though...." Luna holds onto her thoughts. Choosing to consult Colson and The Ash's... And possibly Sammy before deciding on any type of action. Trying to focus on Colson and the game instead for the rest of the evening, the strong voice continues to sing in the back of her colorful mind as ideas manifest along with it.

The lineup is stocked with Cleveland's greatest, finest and most map worthy. The World's Team rounding out with a wide array of goodies itself. The game is filled with Ewwws & Awwws, whooping, clapping, screaming and even the occasional Boo. Cleveland is an unforgiving City, almost rivaling Philadelphia.

The Miz from WWE opens up the game by coming out looking like Wild Thing as The World's Team takes the plate. Driving the crowd insane by rocking thick, black glasses on the mound while he imitates Charlie Sheen’s stance from the iconic film. On The World's Team, Daddy Yankee hit a triple slightly past Colson in the first inning. He could've caught it but was too distracted by the signs in clouds. Thankfully no one caught THAT as the batter ALMOST ran out of his pants as he flew past first base. Making Casie point and laugh loudly with her adult company. Falcon from The Avengers hit a pop fly to The Miz, causing him to crash backwards into their second baseman Stephanie Beatriz as he made the catch. Successfully ending the first inning.

Rook and Mod miss The Funny while conversing with Casie and the Hot Girl Summer happening behind them. Being RockStars truly has it's perks... ALL of the time. Luna on the other hand is an avid sports fan, having caught Benny's eye and a couple of Pete's elbows to her giggly ribcage during the first inning. Cracking up together over the on field collision they had all witnessed. There's something about people from NY... They love their fucking baseball.

During the third inning, Jim Thome's son joins the game acting as a pinch hitter. Batting left-handed, the young boy points his bat at the pitcher, just like his legendary father used to. With that and a solid smack, he snatches a two-run single through center field that pulls Cleveland's Team within four runs at a score of 16-12. JR Smith enthusiastically welcoming the boy as he runs Home.

The announcer mentions The Hometown Anti Heroe's love of Ramen as Colson steps up to the plate with multicolored vision. Following the young Thome with a drive to right field that eludes Ryan Howard, The Great HomeRun Hitter of the 2008 World FUCKING Champions. Colson races around past third with his tongue wagging in determination as he finds himself sliding safely back Home for an InField HomeRun.

"MOTHAFUCKEN' RIGHT YOU DID IT!! YOU ARE A GOLDEN FUCKING GOD." His tripping soul excitedly screams at him as he hits a light peak.

Colson's HomeRun leaves The World's Team within a three run grasp. Smith hoisting Colson high in the air as Team Cleveland celebrates his epic run. Casie and Luna hooting and hollering as they ecstatically cheer him on along with with Pete, Mod, Rook and Benny.

Finally, in comes The Legend of Cleveland himself, Travis Hafner. The retired Indians slugger crushes a ball to the left, over the wall and nearly hits Mustard the Hot Dog mascot standing near The Corner. Who took the surprise gracefully. Had it been the Philly Phanatic and Victorino, there probably would've been a fight on Broad Street.

Cleveland’s comeback being only a run behind now as another one of The Indian's legends steps up to bat. Carlos Baerga nailing a solo home run in the bottom of the fourth. Bringing the score to 16-15 heading into the fifth.

The World's Team scores five fucking times in the top of the fifth. Luna losing her shit along the way as Mod, Rook and Casie look at her like she's crazy but Pete and Benny laugh in appreciation of her passion and knowledge. It's the shocking two-run homer by Falcon as his drive to the left slips under the glove of The Great Hafner that truly fucks her up. Screaming WHAT THE FUUUUUCK as she jumps up and Pete laughs while pulling her back down. Rooting for the other team, Luna's soul is torn as Yankees legend, Bernie Williams steps up to bat. With a solo blast to left, Luna silently exchanges a cheering look with Pete for their hometown team as he slams another HomeRun. Pushing the score to 21-15. The World's Team leading hard with six runs at the bottom of the inning.

Cleveland comes to bat one last time. Allie LaForce starting them off with a single and scoring Cleveland another run on a ground ball by Beatriz. It's JR's pop up that gives them their last out. Swiftly stealing Team Cleveland's hopes for comeback. Ending the five inning game at 21-16.

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Hanging out for a bit after, even with the loss Colson's giddy from the mushrooms and happy with his performance. He's in the middle of busting it up with Jamie Fox while Luna talks with Stephanie close by. Casie leaves Rook and Benny to find her dad. Standing next to him, she dangles on his arm while patiently waiting for him to finish his conversation.

"Anyone ever told you how smooth your daddy is?" A middle aged woman asks as she slinks up to the young girl.

Colson forgets about his conversation as he turns around and laughs loudly at her absurdity while Casie physically recoils. Offended by the stranger's words and grasping onto her father's arm, she recovers quickly.

"Yeah. His GIRLFRIEND." Casie fires back with a monotoned voice before perking up. "Hi, Looney!" She exclaims as her face shifts from a scowl to a relieved, bright smile before falling into a smug look that she smoothly shoots at the stranger from the comfort of Luna's presence.

"Hiii, Dilla." Luna coos with her own gleam, having observed the whole scene. "How are you?" She asks the woman as her grin sweetly widens while she acknowledges and glides past her with eye contact and a nod. "You guys ready? We should find The Boys, we gotta get home for dinner." She advises as she ignores the woman and collects her family.

Luna takes Casie by the hand as Colson slips his arm around Luna. Tucking her wounded shoulder safely inside of him as always. Walking away, Casie turns over her left shoulder in between her and Luna. Glaring at the woman, she throws up her middle finger behind her back with her free right hand. Smirking at the woman's shocked reaction before turning back around triumphantly.

On their way home from the baseball field Colson posts the playful picture Rook had taken of him, Casie and Luna on the way to the car out of the park. A smile curling up on his lips as he places the caption. Proving they're always better together.

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"Who needs luck when you got them skills and these two as your biggest fans 🏆❤️💎💯"

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"FUUUUUUUCK, I MISSED YOU!!" Luna exclaims with overwhelmingly vibrant enthusiasm as soon as she walks into the kitchen and sees Sam. Grabbing her into a deep, soul hug, she plunks a huge kiss on her cheek. Squeezing her hand, she drags her around the island to a cooking Ashleigh. "I missed you tooooo, Buddy!" Luna squishes her with a hug from behind as she smooches her cheek also. Noticing two women she doesn't know at the island, she immediately greets them warmly. "Hi! I'm Luna." She smiles at the women as she extends her hand to AJ's wife, Naomi and Dub's girlfriend, Natasha. "It's a pleasure." She beams at them.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. I hope she doesn't know I hit Her Dude." Luna immediately thinks of her mishap with Dub.

"More wine?" She asks as she tests the waters while still dragging Sam along with her to finally sit at the island as she fills the ladies wine glasses. "So tell me.... What's the story mornin' glories?" Luna laughs as she pours herself a glass of wine, figuring that if it's gonna be something... It's gonna be something.

Gathered in the kitchen, the four women talk about all kinds of different things as they get to know each other. Jumping from their individual careers and hobbies to fashion and politics and everything in between. Including the dumb shit their guys do. Sam smiling slyly while Ashleigh shrugs with a Fucking Men as she continues battering chicken. Potatoes are boiling to be mashed and green beans are sautéing. Colson comes into the kitchen to pick at dinner while Ashleigh swats at him. There's a bunch of them over and she's been air frying for over an hour now. Her chicken is NOT to be fucked with.

"What I tell ya, fucking men." Ashleigh mimicks a young Madonna as she clucks her tongue and rolls her eyes.

"Fugkin' MEN, WHAT?" He asks with his hands, imitating a horrible Brooklyn accent before he kisses Ashleigh's cheek.

Laughing at the two of them while shaking her head and standing, Luna watches Casie along with Ashton, Dub's daughter and AJ's two girls. Gazing out at them, she notices how they're very much

like their parents. Rolling and falling all over each other as they rough house around the huge yard. Still in the kitchen and spotting her Polaroid camera in her bag on the counter; Colson snaps a quick picture of Luna without her noticing. Setting the camera back where he found it, he plops a wet kiss in the side of her head to her tilted smile. Walking back into the living room, he shakes the instant photo in his hand. Watching as it slowly creeps into focus, his heart beats faster as it forms.

"FUCK, she's gorgeous." He can't help but smile to himself as he pulls on his wallet chain to tuck it into it's new home safely.

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"DIIINNNNERRR!!!" Ashleigh yells.

Those who aren't already in the kitchen come roaring inside. With almost twenty of them that are functional, they each help carry parts of their meal into the dining room with the expanded table. You'd think they'd be a hot mess but some how they function surprisingly well together. Each naturally gravitating to a job.

Luna counts plates. Sam grabs the green beans, Casie and AJ's daughters collect silverware as Colson places down the napkins. Slim pulls another bottle of white as Mod helps him with beers and lemonade out of the fridge. AJ collecting cups for the kids out of the cabinet. D gets Ashton milk as Rook happily snatches up the bowl of mashed potatoes, salt and pepper. Sneakily dipping his finger into it and taking a bite to Ashleigh's immediate ROOK. Pete strictly limits himself to butter duty, he's too high to handle anything else. Dub and Benny help with the salad, bowls and dressings as Natasha settles their daughter and Ashton at the table. Ashleigh handles the chicken with Naomi, making The Kid's plates first. Kevin's sat down for dinner before anyone, making Baze hop up to grab the Louisiana hot sauce from the fridge upon his judgmental request to everyone's equal shame and laughter.

Dinner is loud as always. Everyone talking over each other as they pass food and condiments during cross table conversations. The Three Dinner Questions are answered by everyone before they talk about the game. Filling Slim and Dub in on Colson's inpark HomeRun. The Boys eventually going on to bust each other's balls as usual while The Women continue to get to know each other and The Kids ask questions about EVERYTHING. Beers and white wine being passed along as quickly as Ashleigh's homemade chicken.

"So, you don't mind the air fryer?" She asks.

"This is air fried?" Dub asks in shock.

"What the FUCK is air fried?" Benny asks with such a panicked authority Luna can't help but laugh; she's never seen him react like that.

"You cook with hot air instead of grease." Ashleigh tries to explain.

"Fuck that voodoo ass nonsense, Ash." Benny drops his chicken and crosses his arms.

"You good, Benz? Cuz you're on some real weird ass shit right now, Pal." Luna lightly laughs again.

"Nah man, that shit ain't right... Fucking air fry... Just sounds like some voodoo shit." Benny sticks to his guns with his arms still crossed.

"What the fuck do you think a microwave is?" Sam scoffs at him. "Talk about unnatural? That's fucking electromagnetic waves verses air, Bro. Get it. Together." She rolls her eyes as she chomps into her chicken leg.

Benny thinks about science for a minute before picking his chicken back up. It's too delicious too deny. Even if it is voodoo chicken.

"Fucking Men." Sam mumbles to Ashleigh's laughter as she shakes her head and enjoys her chicken.

No one else is afraid of air fried chicken. Easily finishing it off. Benny eating five pieces of the devil's work alone. As they sit with full bellies, they start to talk about the up coming week. Colson and AJ having their girls clear the table so that they can work.

"I've got you guys booked for GMA this Thursday." Ashleigh informs Luna and Colson while looking at the calendar on her phone.

"This Thursday? Like four days from now?" Luna asks. "For what?"

"Have you not talked to Jackie?" Ashleigh sighs, sounding like Monica.

"No... It's the Fourth of July Weeknd. I figured she'd start tomorrow." Luna shrugs.

When Ashleigh sighs again Sam, AJ and Rook simultaneously stand up, grabbing odd things the kids had missed off the table and heading into the kitchen. Naomi, Natasha, Baze and Benny follow behind shortly along with Dub and D grabbing their babies. That leaves Luna, Colson, Slim, Kevin and a super stoned Pete. He still has is plate in front of him and is just hangen' out while he figures it out.

"They were supposed to contact her." Ashleigh explains.

"Here... Let's just fucking call her." Luna pulls her phone out and looks for Jackie's number, there's a slight attitude to her tone.

It's not directed at Ashleigh. It's more towards television and MorningTime Bullshit Talk TV. Luna's avoided things like this all of her career. Now it like she's Tom from Tom&Jerry; with fame and over exposure being the rake that constantly keeps smacking her in fucking her face.

"Hello?" Jackie answers on the second ring.

"Hey Jack, it's Loon..." Luna greets her friend. "I got you on speaker with Colson and his manager, Ashleigh..." Luna pauses for them to say Hello. "Uhmmmm... She has me booked for GMA Thursday? Do you know anything about that? Apparently they were supposed to hit you up?" Luna asks.

"Yeah, you didn't get my messages?" Her chipper voice slips through the speakerphone.

"What messages?" Luna asks as Ashleigh cuts her a What The Fuck look.

"The text, email and voicemail I left Friday evening, telling you about the booking... Is there a problem, Loons?" Jackie's sweet Australian accent asks suddenly concerned.

"Yeah. Luna's a jackass who doesn't answer her phone." Colson laughs as he smirks at her.

"Man, fuck you." Luna rolls her eyes but knows that it's true. "Is there anything else?"

"Yeah, Rolling Stone wants to book you and Colson in September for their October issue... I need whatever IT is...? I got a call from Kimmel for either Nightmare or Bad Things, they don't care which. One for something called Hot Ones. Oh! This is fun... I also got call asking for you to be a judge on RuPaul's drag show! I think you should definitely do that one!" She giggles after rattling off the long list.

"What the fuck.... Why? Ugh." Luna mentally sighs as she rubs her forehead in irritation.

"Hi, Jackie... This is Ashleigh, Colson's manager. I'm gonna take your number if you don't mind. Colson's going back on tour overseas in August, this way we can just coordinate their schedules together." Ashleigh steps in to help out. "Get them booked on the right things... And make sure everyone's communicating." She gives Luna a glance to her grateful smile and playful middle finger in return.

"That's a great idea!" Jackie immediately agrees.

"While we have her on the phone, let's get everyone in here so we can lock down the week." Ashleigh suggests to Luna's nod.

With Baze, AJ, Sammy, Benny, Rook and Mod back in the dining room, they go over the upcoming week. Monday, Luna and Colson are headed to the DMV for her Ohio ID, the courthouse to apply for their marriage license and to Colson's Cleveland jeweler to hopefully find their wedding bands. Deanna's expected in early Tuesday morning to finish the rest of the fittings. Casie is set to head back to her mom's Wednesday evening while Mod flies back to LA and Luna, Colson, The Boys, Sammy, Kevin, Pete and Deanna take off in the other direction to NYC. Thursday is GMA and other business. Sam agrees to call Mikey to see if he'll fly back with them Thursday night to record IT on Friday.

Feeling confident about the upcoming week, Luna takes Jackie off of speaker to talk to her privately. Ashleigh going on to present Colson with a handful of movie scripts as Luna heads out back.

"I need you to do me a favor..." Luna begins. "When I'm in The City on Thursday, I wanna get into my storage unit and pull the things I want in The Brownstone... Can you book movers and make sure it all safely gets there afterwards? I'll give you a key beforehand."

"Yeah... No problem, Loons. You want me to meet you there and help?" Jackie asks.

"If you wouldn't mind, that'd be awesome. Sammy'll probably be with me too." Luna answers.

"Absolutely. I'll meet you Thursday morning in Times Square, Sweetie." Jackie's Australian accent coos before Luna Thanks her and they say GoodBye.

Once off the phone with Jackie, Luna calls Monica. They speak on the details regarding the two new properties Luna's trying to obtain. Luna then goes on to ask Monica about the PreNump. It's ready to be signed, Luna informing her attorney when she'll be in town this upcoming week as they can schedule a meeting.

"I know you don't wanna do this Loons..." Monica tries to comfort Luna before she cuts her off.

"I don't wanna talk about it. I'll see you Thursday. Thanks as always, Mon." Luna quickly ends the conversation.

Walking back into the house, everyone is still gathered at the dining room table. Luna politely asks to talk to Colson and Ashleigh alone.

"What's up?" Colson asks with concern as he fills her wine glass.

"Did you happen to mention the PreNump to Ash?" She asks lowly as she looks over at their friend.

"He did... Why? Is everything okay?" Ashleigh's voice now holds it's own tone of concern.

"Yeah, uhmmmm... I just got off the phone with Monica. It's drawn up and we're set to sign it while we're in NY....." Luna trails.

"But..." Colson leads her as he lights a joint.

"You know I don't want this and I trust Monica with my life but I'd feel so much better if you brought Cyrus to look over it on your behalf." Luna explains to Colson as she takes a sip of her wine. "Do you think you can get him out there with us?" She asks as she turns to Ashleigh.

"I'll call him right now." Ashleigh replies, appreciating Luna's transparency as she calls Colson's private lawyer.

Colson and Luna sit and share the joint as Ashleigh makes the phone call. He gently comforts her worries about the PreNump before they start talking about how they want the performance on GMA to feel. Off the phone, Ashleigh reassures them Cyrus will be at the meeting.

After a while AJ, Dub and Ashleigh collect their families. Spreading Love and GoodByes as Baze and Sam head out with them. Slim not far behind. Leaving Colson, Luna, Casie, Pete, Kevin, Rook, Mod and Benny.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Casie is tucked safely in bed after her and Colson's tradition of three books and their GoodNight Song. Mod is painting in the living room with Kevin. Benny, Rook and Pete are with them but deeply enthralled in a session of COD. Luna and Colson finally finding some time alone.

Sitting quietly by the edge of the pool, their feet playfully comfort one another's in the cool water as they sit shoulder to shoulder. Vance Joy is dreamily floating from Luna's phone as the moon beams down upon them. Sharing a joint, they go over the day's events. From their dry bubblebath to Colson's InPark HomeRun. Luna takes a deep drag off of the joint as the topic of Jackson finally comes up.

"I know why he kissed you, Loons, I'm a fucking dude." He deadpans as he looks over at her. "It was a pathetic last ditch effort to try to get you to change your mind." Colson looks away from Luna as he hesitates. "Which I hate that I get... Because I wouldn't wanna lose you either." He looks back into her eyes during his last sentence while he laces his fingers into her free hand that's resting beside him. Slightly squeezing it tighter along with what follows. "It's fucking disrespectful though. To you, to me... I still don't get why you had to go down there but I know you had good intentions... And it pisses me off because I feel like he takes advantage of that and your history together. And for real, I know it's not a big deal to you but you left him with a glimmer of hope when you kissed him GoodBye." Air quoting her on the last word.

Colson's now gripping her hand with a worrisome look. Luna finds herself in a unique position. Never one to explain herself but at the same time always knowing when to acknowledge that she's wrong, she gives Colson her own weird look. He's right... And, he's right. She has nothing to protest.

"I..." She begins to agree with him as Colson cuts her off, assuming she's about to argue with him as always.

"Aht." He puts his free hand up that's holding the joint hostage. "I told you. I'm a dude. I know what I'm talkin' about. So fucking stop. You wanna kiss someone GoodBye, kiss em on the God Damn cheek. Or Imma start kissen' bitches GoodBye too." He states firmly as he uses his joint laced hand to adamantly make his point.

Still holding onto Luna's hand tightly, he hits the joint finally. Staring out into the darkness just beyond the pool, they sit silently. Both thinking about his honest words. Puffing hard on the joint, he passes it to Luna. They catch eyes as she reaches for it. Like magnets, they're held there by each other's souls. Both of their blue eyes studying the other's. It's not they're normal challenging stare. It's more of a deep, inquisitive look into one another's truth.

"I'll fucking kill you." Luna lightly chuckles with that half grin that he loves as she holds his gaze and hits the joint seductively.

"EXACTLY." Colson retorts with a belly laugh before she lifts the joint to his lips.

Taking a full hit, he pulls Luna in by her jawbone and delicate neck. Kissing her passionately, he balloons her lungs with his smoke before releasing her. Luna's lungs expand beyond belief, taking Colson's WHOLE hit and the kiss he left on her lips. Exhaling, she coughs her head off.

"That's what you get..." He says with a slightly sarcastic tone as he rubs her back.

Luna proceeds to cough for another minute only for it to feel like forever as Colson shoots a couple more small zingers her way. Looking over at him as she's doubled over, losing a lung, Luna gives Colson the DeathStare. This shuts him up, leaving him to rub her back until she can breathe again after another minute or so.

"You're RIGHT." Luna slightly gasps out, Colson had hit her lungs too hard.

"Why... Wait... What??" Colson looks around the backyard in his honest confusion before scrunching his face up at Luna.

"I agree with you." Luna shrugs as she takes his arm and wraps it around herself. Nestling into him, she explains her logic. "He was disrespectful to both of us and our relationship... That's not cool. That's not fair and that's certainly not friendship. I would hope that you DO know that, THAT part of my life is bigger than Jackson..." They're both staring out into the star sprinkled and city line laced abyss as they talk.

"I do..." Colson sighs. "What are you getting at?" Knowing that Luna doesn't give details for no reason.

Sitting up, she turns to him. "I'd like for Opie to be at our Cleveland wedding. Along with his wife, dad and my niece and nephew..."

"I thought you didn't like kids?" Colson teases her under the midnight sky.

"I mean... I don't. Not REALLY." Luna lightly laughs at herself for a moment before thinking about it; she's slightly amazed by how many kids she truly interacts with and loves with her WHOLE heart without even realizing it.

"I'm teasing you, Buttercup." Colson pulls on her by the shoulders as he leans in closer to kiss the side of her head. "I know they're important to you... Invite who you need. Just not FUCKING Jackson. Or Tommy... Actually, you know what? Offer 'em both tickets to EstFest. On me." Colson looks at her smugly as he waits for her reaction to his new idea.

"No. That's not necessary." Luna answers after she hits the joint a few times before passing it back. "I may need to invite his mother though..." Luna looks over at Colson with a worrisome look. 

"Who's?" Colson asks with a slight attitude.

"Jackson's mom, Gemma. Out of respect." Before Colson can to begin to argue with her she reminds him of Old Codes to his understanding sigh. "I don't know though because of my Mom-Mom..." Luna trails at the end.

Their joint is long gone. Luna and Colson sit together quietly again, still side by side as they pass a fresh one back and forth. Saying what she needed to, Luna waits for Colson to speak.

"I'll make you a deal..." Colson finally breaks their silence as he passes her the joint. "I'll support whatever you feel is right for our private ceremony... As long as you let me record all of EstFest for a special Kelly Vision. Behind the scenes and all." He offers up his compromise with a cocky smirk.

The idea of recording their EstFest Wedding has been brewing in his head for a minute now. Knowing Luna hates feeling exposed, he had thought of a thousand different ways to convince her to do it. Now, Colson sees his shot free and clear and he's not missing it. In his mind, it also won't hurt his ego to have Jackson's Mommy watch as Luna takes him as Her Only either.

"Like all weekend?" Luna asks with a terrified look as she passes back the bone.

"ALLLL weekend." Colson grins as he takes a satisfied hit, knowing he has her on the hook.

"Fine..." Luna sighs, annoyed by whatever Buttercup shit just came out of his mouth beforehand and the fact that she's pretty sure Gemma won't dare come because of Patti but only mentioned it as a precaution; while simultaneously deciding it's all worth it to prove whatever point or loyalty to Colson that he needs.

"Thanks, Kitten." Colson pulls her closer with his draped arm still around her as he kisses the side of her head again, feeling bad for slightly manipulating her. "You can sit in on editing if you want..." He offers as he passes the shrinking joint.

"I'd fucking hope so." Luna scoffs before hitting it. "Considering you're basically talking about our wedding video."

"Shit... I didn't think about it like that." Colson admits.

"Yeah..." Luna exhales through her hit. "I didn't hire a photographer because it never struck me until now." She answers with her hands out as she yawns.

"No sweat, I'll hit up Wozy... I'm sure he'd love to do it." Colson reassures her with another kiss to the head.

"You ready to go tomorrow?" Luna asks him softly.

"Where? To the DMV or the courthouse?" Colson teases her.

"To the fucking courthouse, you Asshole." She chuckles as she slightly jabs him in the ribs with her elbow.

"Definitely. More than anything." He answers as he pulls her face in with his oversized hand to kiss her. "You?" He asks, letting his hand drop to fully study her as his eyes slightly darken.

"Absolutely." She smiles at him with That One Look, pulling him in now with both of her hands.

Luna kisses Colson passionately as his firm hands roam her body. With their tongues twisting inside their kiss, Colson pops back and grins against her lips. Pressing his lips onto her mouth with force, he breaks away slightly to grin again. This time wider. Rocking her slowly inside his hold as he begins to kiss her again, he picks up his pace. Realizing what he's doing, Luna starts to panic.

"Colson!! Nooo!!" Luna shouts as he throws them both into the pool.

Popping her head up, Luna spits out a mouth full of water at Colson. Making him quickly dunk her again. He pulls her up with his strong arms and plants a solid kiss on her sputtering lips. Still in their clothes, Luna wraps her body around his as they begin to heavily make out. Pulling off their wet clothing, they let the articles carelessly float around the pool as Colson guides her body to the side of the pool. Kissing all over her neck as he slowly pushes himself into her warm pussy. She gasps with a purring shudder as he hits her back wall.

"YOU. ARE FUCKING MINE." Colson's deep voice causes Luna to moan out in pleasure as he tangles his fingers in her wet hair and thrusts deeper inside of her.

The demanding authority in his voice has Luna bucking against him wildly. Pulling on his hair as she bites down on his shoulder and cums easily for him. Sliding safely back Home once more, Colson grips Luna's ribcage tightly.

"Oooooh, FUUUUUCK!!" He growls out as his body shakes and he releases himself inside of Luna while the water flows around their orgasms.

"Still mad?" Luna asks sweetly as she nibbles on his ear.

Not mad but definitely still hard, Colson drives himself further inside of Luna. She gasps again at his length and girth, her body twitches and she lowly purrs as her insides wrap themselves around him.

"This dick your only dick?" He taunts while pleased by her reaction.

"Mhhm..." Luna moans as she kisses him.

Unable to contain her desire for him, Luna starts grinding against Colson's solid dick. Leading them to fuck each other again feverishly in the pool. Sloppy, wet kisses land everywhere before Luna clutches onto Colson's body. Letting him take all that he wants from her. Again and again.

---------------------------------------------------

To be continued...

[thegothestchad]

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