#actually it does fit the mould of mcu trilogies

[billdenbrough]

i keep thinking about rocket’s “there ain’t no thing like me ‘cept me” and how it’s presented initially as an indicator of who he is—his mouthiness, his independence, his absolute lack of knowledge of what a raccoon looks like—and like. it is those things! it is! but it’s also — yeah, so, the first time we hear it, there’s a hint of story behind it, like: who or what made rocket this?

and now we know it’s the high evolutionary, and now we know the other layer to that statement: yeah, rocket’s confident when he says there’s no thing like him, because a) they were all individual experiments for the same cause but b) because rocket, and therefore the ones ‘like’ him, were classified as defective, and he knows the high evolutionary killed them all

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Why saying there are new movies for Peter Parker (and that’s why we should have Miles) is stupid.

In recent months and years ever since the announcement of Peter Parker being the new Spider-Man of the MCU there has been shittons of backlash against the decision. A lot of this has stemmed from Miles Morales supporters who feel he should have been the Spider-Man of the MCU.

 Whilst there is a lot to say about that (and I have) today I want to counter a fairly frequent point I‘ve seen more than once from that camp. That point being that Peter should not be used as the MCU Spider-Man because ‘we’ve seen his story’ or ‘there is nothing new to be done with him’ or something to those effects.

 This is a boneheaded argument to make because it is essentially saying that a comic book series which has existed for over 50 years publishing sometimes multiple comics every month across that time period can apparently only generate FIVE major motion pictures...two of which recycled material from the first three.

 To show you how idiotic that argument is let me off the top of my head throw out THREE different ideas for high school Peter Parker Spider-Man movies which contain things which we’ve honestly never seen before with the character on film.

  Spider-Man vs the Mob

As many fans of Spider-Man comic books well know Spider-Man has an incredibly long history addressing street crime. The early Ditko Spider-Man stories vacillated to parables about science gone too far and crime noir.

 Fans of the thus far five Spider-Man films and the more recent pathetic Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon are likely unaware of this long history since it’s essentially devoid in both. Sure Spider-Man might fight regular thugs, but that’s rarely if ever the plot or main thrust of the stories.

 But it is in fact from Spider-Man comics that the most famous super villain gangster of all time, the Kingpin, originated. Spider-Man has tangled with Wilson Fisk countless times though admittedly rarely with the same intensity that Daredevil has.

 Now sure on film using Kingpin is very unlikely given his affiliation with the Netflix Daredevil series, however Spidey actually has a whole host of other gangster villains with gimmicks which would make them film worthy.

 Hammerhead

Silvermane

Don Fortunato

Tombstone

Man Mountain Marko

Mister Negative

The Rose

Delilah

The Crime Master

The Big Man

Black Tarantula

The Enforcers

Gangsters one and all.

 Gang war storylines have occurred more than once in Spider-Man’s comics and having him caught in the middle of one, trying to end the war for the sake of the civilians would present a realistic, complex and far more difficult to solve challenge for Spider-Man than ever seen before.

 Spider-Man could come face to face with the realities of crimes which exist in our own real world and see how it’s not a battle with a true ending but one which he and other people must constantly resist all the same.

 Spider-Man and the media

As perfectly cast as J.K. Simmons was as J. Jonah Jameson in the original Sam Raimi Spider-Man film trilogy it must be said the movies downplayed the character compared to the comic books.

 Whilst he served the same basic function as Spider-Mans loudmouth skinflint boss who used yellow journalism to slander Spider-Man and make the city mistrust and hate him, he was ultimately a bit player in the proceedings of the trilogy.

 In the comic books especially the early days of Spider-Man Jameson was almost the resident villain of the series, a lot of panel time was dedicated to him and his irrational vendetta against our hero. He and Spider-Man often exchanged harsh words and it seemed his persecution of Spidey was unrelenting. He was in fact one of the three most important recurring characters in the whole series during the original Steve Ditko run next to Spidey and Aunt May themselves.

 Doing a movie which is actually specifically about Spidey’s relationship with Jameson and making the central focus the ramifications of Jameson’s smear campaign would not only be something original for a Spider-Man film but fairly original for a superhero film in general. Jameson isn’t a super villain nor is he truly evil. He’s just a greedy man with an irrational hatred stemming from deepset issues which themselves make him a compelling character.

 The film could thus be about the abuses of power afforded to those who control the media and examine the responsibilities and role the press should hold, with a greater focus being upon the press’ obsession with celebrities and the detrimental effects they can have on their lives.

 Once more this isn’t an enemy or a crisis Spider-Man can truly resolve or defeat, so much as learn to live with, which is once again something fairly unique for a superhero movie.

 But just so we can have our bam smack pow superhero action we could draw upon one of two classic Spider-Man tales to generate a villain or two.

 In Amazing Spider-Man #20 Jameson infamously helps create the Scorpion as a natural adversary to Spider-Man only for his creation to turn on him thus justifying Spider-Man save him. The Scorpion has never been done on film and fits Marvel’s mould of villains who are dark reflections of the hero. In fact that is why Jameson created the Scorpion, he was based upon a fellow (but bigger) arachnid.

Alternatively we could draw upon a famous recurring element of Spider-Man lore, the Spider Slayers. Throughout his history Spencer Smythe and his son Alistair have created robots specifically designed to locate, capture and sometimes kill Spider-Man, with the designs of the robots offering a variety of interesting visuals. However many of the Spider Slayers were affiliated with Jameson who wanted to use them to rid the world of Spider-Man.

Perhaps one of the most famous Spider Slayer stories was the death of Spencer Smythe which involved Jameson and Spider-Man shackled together by a bomb counting down to their destruction. Adapting this would be a perfect way to bring the movie to it’s climax and focus in on the central relationship between Spider-Man and Jameson.

  Peter Parker is a Mama’s boy

Love her or hate her, Aunt May is vitally important to the mythology of Spider-Man and his character. Hence she’s appeared in every Spider-Man movie to date.

She is also his mother. Not biologically, but in all the ways that really matter she is his mother.

Many stories (sometimes to an exaggerated extent) have showcased Peter’s affection for May and her doting attitude towards him. But like Jameson we’ve only seen this in the movies as part of larger plots where it isn’t really the point. When done right it’s really endearing and something relatable to most people.

Instead of a Spider-Man movie which is about Peter Parker’s romance with a woman, his rivalry with a new villain, the mystery of his dead parents or (ugh) his teacher/student relationship with someone like Iron Man, why not make the heart and soul of this movie about a parent and child, specifically a mother and her son.

Films like Logan prove that that can work but the unique twist of this movie would be that the focus isn’t upon someone learning to be a parent or a father/son relationship or a mother/daughter relationship or even a father/daughter relationship. Rather it’d be the far less focussed upon mother/son relationship.

Even in movies which do focus upon a relationship like this things typically play out wherein the mother is fridged, or it’s about a woman learning to be a mother, or a woman struggling to survive for the sake of her son or where the relationship is strained (think Tony Soprano and his mother).

Instead this would be a movie about a kid and his mother figure coming to together to cope and survive in a world now bereft of the most important person in both of their lives who supported them both.

And the central basis of this movie could be arguably THE most iconic Spider-Man storyline of all time, the Master Planner trilogy. Allow me to give you some cliffnotes from the story. 

A new gang working for a criminal called the Master Planner who plans his schemes meticulously so they go off without a hitch butts heads with Spider-Man. Meanwhile Aunt May is feeling incredibly unwell as Peter Parker goes to his very first day of college. Later she collapses and we learn that she’s dying, poisoned by a blood transfusion Peter gave to her many issues ago. A potential cure can be created from the expensive ISO-36 chemical.

Peter pawns most of his and May’s possessions to buy the chemical but the Master Planner steals it believing it could be of use in his experiments. Spider-Man uses a Daily Bugle journalist to help him get a lead on the whereabouts of the Master Planner and he proceeds to bust up the criminal underworld, desperately seeking information of the MP.

Finally he learns that the MP is in a secret underwater base so Spider-Man has to swim beneath the Hudson river, infiltrate the base, fight off the hordes of armed henchmen and finally confront the Master Planner himself, who is in fact DOCTOR OCOTPUS.

As they fight Spider-Man is trapped under several tons of heavy metal rubble, with water quickly filling the room and the ISO-36 just out of reach. Then in an endlessly homage and utterly iconic scene Spider-Man ruminates upon how he cannot allow himself to fail Aunt May like he did Uncle Ben and gradually summons all of his strength and in a supreme act of willpower throws off all of the rubble in the greatest Spider-Man splash page of all time.

He then gets the ISO-36 swims back to the surface, fights some of Doc Ock’s goons underwater, then despite his exhaustion single handily kicks the rest of their asses before getting the chemical to the doctors just in time to save Aunt May.

 Now sure that isn’t everything that happened and you’d have to tweak a few things to make it work as a self-contained movie about a high schooler...but...goddam...how does all that NOT sound like the most baller Spider-Man movie ever!?

 There’s action, there’s tension, irony, human drama, heroism; it’s got everything!

 Now you see those three idea I just tossed out?

 Well with one exception all of them are based upon the original Steve Ditko run of Spider-Man. In fact not even all of the Ditko run, just the first 33 issues.

 None of them involve retelling Peter Parker’s origin.

 None of them involve repeating material or storylines we’ve seen in other movies before apart from Spider-Man fighting Doctor Octopus which is in my suggestion not even the point of the movie.

 I just made all of those suggestions up off the top of my head based upon less than the first five years of Peter Parker’s existence.

 I could probably make up even more if I cast my net further and spend a bit more time considering it.

 So tell me again how there are no new ideas for a Peter Parker Spider-Man movie?

 Tell me how the only way to make the franchise fresh again is to use another character other than Peter Parker?

 Go on. I dare ya?