#actually if they do it next weekend i won’t have time. so maybe it’s ok
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fourteenfifteen · 2 months ago
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lads. do we think i can listen to 14 episodes of palisade before the postmortem
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deus-ex-mona · 1 month ago
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up next on chapter 36 of idol sengen… _(:3 」∠)_
#(my toxic trait is that i’ll complain about my work endlessly but still end up doing it anyway… eventually.)#there’s rant 1 (ft. a need to deduce what asuna is saying in full) and rant 2 (which is available in full but still…)#there’s also another mona-rambling session in chapter 38… that im not touching with a 50 foot pole#(all you need to know for that mona-rambling [about frusu] is that mona’s frusu oshi is all of them)#(and that she thinks miyu is like *the* pinnacle of centres in idol groups)#(also someone won a junior dance competition but idk who bc it’s obscured lmao)#can i outsource these panels for a corn chip lmaoooo#m. maybe i should’ve actually worked on this while i was still unemployed last month huh…#bc excuse me company wdymmmmmm im starting work next monday?? the interview was just this monday hello?#ig the interviewer was legit when she said ‘so if i asked you if you can start work next monday—’ huh…#sigh… maybe ch 36 next month then… i’ll do my best over the weekend thoughhhhh#seriously though why is this volume so text heavy l m a o i really wanna get to chapter 40 but…#and then there’s the hard to clean text boxes which… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#…though i guess i should just count myself lucky that the chapters are still short enough to fit into a single post (with the image limits)#but dang. i just realised that my manga sengen thing has a page on manga updates lmao#who put it there lmaooooo and why is it only up till vol 2? wait. no. what. why does it link to manga.dex#bc dang. someone really had the time to dl the thing image by image? no wonder why they stopped after vol 2…#guess i might as well say why i dont want people to reupload my tls… since we’re in the final stretch and all#so. aside from the obvious ‘idw the creators to find out about it’… i probably made a ton of mistakes while tling it. esp in the early chaps#so i’d like to. y’know. have the chance to update the tls where possible. i’ve done that a couple of times already tbh.#like with rippei’s name post-vol 4 release. and some of the typesetting is p. gross in the early chaps tbvh#i swear tling idol sengen has made me incredibly conscious of grammar and typesetting like you wouldnt believe#esp with official tls… fan tls will always be perfect to me no matter how wonky the wording bc it’s hard but honest work yk#official tls (esp a.i tls) get no concessions from me bc it’s their job that they’re getting paid to do yk.#in any case (if you’ve read this far) if you see any mistakes in the tl please lemme know~~~ please dont hold back on your criticisms ok~~~?#just sound ‘em out in dms here or sth. don’t worry~~~ i won’t eat y’all if you try to correct me~~~~~ unless you’re the md reuploader (jk)#and ik i disabled comments on the other blog (or tried to at least) but that’s bc idw bots to flood the comments bc that’s annoying as he—#anyways sorry for the idol sengen wait (if anyone was waiting for it…) i’ll improve on my work ethic… tomorrow. maybe.
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oneforthemunny · 1 month ago
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evieee i’m feeling soft and mushy and i had a thought... what was the eddies’ “oh. OH.” moment, like the exact moment they realized that reader was it for them and they actually wanted to marry reader :') i mean i know some eddies are not into the idea of marriage but that’s fine! but what about the others :') (also ily MWA)
omg this is so cute (ily2 mwahhh!)
so older!eddie you can actually read his because it’s the moment in don’t be cruel where they’re both with brielle and reader is just so happy and getting along with her and they’re actually getting along. that’s the first time he’s like yes i could marry her, i want to spend the rest of my life with her.
mafia!eddie it’s definitely after one of his more vulnerable moments. maybe after a particularly draining day when he lets the mask fall, so to say, and is open about how emotionally draining what he does is. the way she validates it and listens, tells him she doesn’t think less and just stands by him and supports. he’s looking at rings that next day.
boxer!eddie there’s an angst blurb with him about how he’s using steroids (found in vivis writing challenge masterlist) and the aftermath of that, when he sees how much she really cares and how passionate she is about him and his health and career. that’s really when he’s like, “damn. she does love me. and i really want to be with her forever.”
dom!eddie’s is definitely super simple and sweet, pretty early on too. they’re out listening to a band play somewhere, and she’s just all over him- very publically and unashamed. it’s not her usual scene but she goes for eddie. they’re both a little tipsy and he’s just absolutely love struck. feels like he wants to do everything and anything with her.
cowboy!eddie it would be the first time she came to one of his competitions. he told her not to come, didn’t want her to travel and move things around just for him, but she did anyways. didn’t tell him, just showed up and surprised him. it really meant a lot, and he’d tell her that much later, because normally he’d just say not to come bc no one ever showed up even if he asked. a defense mechanism for him really. so when she did it just meant the world to him and he wanted her to show up for everything for the rest of his life.
rockstar!eddie it was in nantucket. set after dark shadows when they take their trip to the summer house on the east coast. there was feelings there before with both of them, but they were still trying to fight them and hide them but this is where things change and they decide to try and date. but a specific moment would be during the fourth of july. there’s a firework show on the docks, eddie stands out from all the others clad in ralph lauren and linens and nb couldn’t love it more (such a stark contrast from the first meeting lol). it’s really mundane and something just flips and all eddies feelings come out and he’s just like ok i want to be with her.
janitor!eddie’s is really early on, really cutesy and simple. shortly after they start dating. his birthday, the first they celebrate together. she goes all out, gets steve’s help in planning a party at the hideout with all his friends. “even tried to reserve a room, munson. like we have a fuckin’ private room.” the owner cackled and told him. she got his favorite cake, even a gift, and he was so overwhelmed with affection and love and just was in love.
hockey!eddie it was pretty early on honestly. during the start of the season, their first together. he’s bummed because he’s out of town for halloween, his favorite holiday, and won’t get to celebrate. she flies out and surprises him, books a stay at a hotel for the holiday as a long weekend and the two go out. brings a costume (a special festive lingerie too for later) and they go out after eddie’s game to a bar that’s celebrating the holiday, they come back and spend the next day watching the halloween movie marathon on tv, splitting a bag of candy. just so casual and sweet, but eddie is head over heels.
modern!eddie, i mean he’s in love from the first moment lol but honestly, when she’s vulnerable with him. when she’s soft and shows a side of herself to him that feels so personal and special to see. he feels just overwhelmed and special to get to see it and is in love.
bouncer!eddie it’s so dumb but it’s true i’m sorry, and it’s the first time she lets him cum inside lmao. he’s been in love before but like she let him creampie her??? he’s never felt more connected and in love ever. genuinely. he’s so obsessed after that just infatuated.
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keelt9 · 25 days ago
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Chapter 9
Masterlist
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The growl along the long licks disturb my dream. “Rosco, be still.” Roscoe weights lay down next to me, he’s actually real. “ROSCOE!” 
Lewis enters rushing, cursing low. “Sorry, I forgot to close the door when we arrived.” 
I sit in the bed rubbing Roscoe's head, they are supposed to arrive tomorrow night, not today in the morning.
“Mom said you arrived late, everything all right?” For now, I preferred to keep the Max theme out of my family.
“Yeah, let me change and I told you the news of the shelter.” Lewis nods, calling Roscoe out of my room. 
My clock marks 9:15 am, the thought of spending another afternoon with Max keeps my heart beating fast.
“Oh my lord, I’m nuts.” I stand going to the bath for a quick shower, with a battle on my mind to focus on other stuff. 
At breakfast I told Lewis the news about the farm and the fact I need him here by next week. He insisted I could hold it on my own, but that wasn’t my money.
Lewi giggles, giving Roscoe another piece of apple. “All right, send me day and hour and I’ll be there.”
“You won’t stay all week, honey?” Mom asked, sitting one more time on the table outside in the garden.
“No, I just came to drop Roscoe, Monday morning, I need to be in Monaco.” I feel awful to be relieved he won’t stay the week with us. “So, I was thinking, what about if we have a family day, a picnic for me more specifically.”
I choke with my coffee, winning the worry eyes of my family. “I’m fine, it's just that I drink too fast.” 
Dad pat my back as I take a sip of water. “Sounds great, let’s do it.” Dad answered, pretty excited. 
“I can’t.” Lewis narrowed his eyes. “Hey, I have work to finish by the end of the summer. I must have everything ready for the presentation.” 
��Come Y/N, it’s just one day.” Lewis laid back in his chair. “I will help you next week.”
“Yeah, right.” We both laughed but he knows he’s been avoiding all the paperwork on purpose. “It’s ok, go have fun with mom and dad, I’ll be fine.”
Lewis nods, he knows passing time with our parents is something he treasure.
They plan to go after midday. I hear all the time come and go packing things, asking if something is already in the car or if they miss something. 
“Let me do my last attempt.” Lewis said enter the living room where I've been working all day, next to the big cristal window. “It’s weekend Y/N, come on.” 
I take my glasses off. “I want to make sure everything it’s perfect.” 
Lewis laughs, taking a glimpse of the document on the computer. “Ok, ok, then let me do something for you instead.” 
I look at him curiously. “In three weeks, I have a small “event”, come with me, I promise, you’ll love it.” 
I just have time to open my mouth one more time before he continues. “There won’t be a lot of cameras, I promise.”
Roscoe enters with Jewel playing with a ball. “Roscoe will come too.” 
That makes me laugh and convinces me. “All right, all right.” Lewis smiles kissing my head. 
“We leave you working, don’t wait for us, I’ll plan taking mom and dad to a quick trip boat tomorrow morning.” I nod, patting Roscoe and Jewel's heads.
I say goodbye to them as they drive out of the house, giggling at how Roscoe and Jewell can be seen from the crystal excited for a new trip. 
The hours passed without me even realizing, until I heard a car parking  in front of my parents house, my sure bet is Mika or Thomas, maybe both together if I’m lucky today.
But the doorbell made me tilt my head. Any one of them does that, they just knock waiting for Jewel to announce with loud barks running one side to the other.
I stand going to the big door. “Now you ri…Oh my!” Max is standing at the door with that self-sufficient smile. “It’s five already?”
I watch my watch, 3:47. “No, it’s not but I came here with an offer and high hopes.” Max said as I rolled my eyes. “You already took me 6 months away from me…”
“I took?” Max raises his hand for I let him talk, a giggle escapes.
“Leave me with just a few days…come with me this weekend, I swear we won’t leave London.” Max raises his eyebrows.
“You hate London, the weather, the food, you said it out loud.” Max’s smile grows bigger.
“You saw the video of the social accounts, now I’m aware of that thank you.” Betray for myself.
“I’ve known Checo since I was a kid, of course I see that.” Max nods but I know he doesn’t believe it’s for his teammate. “Ok, I’ll go.” 
The complaints of Max got stuck in his mouth for the way I quickly agreed. “Are you playing with me?” 
I shake my head laughing. “What? You just grant me months free of you, that’s all you need.” 
He just opened his mouth, faking a hurt expression. I walked inside of the house leaving the door open for him to get inside, but he took his time, when I turned around he was clearing his throat and adjusting his clothes.
“My parents aren't here, don't need that.” Max's face turns red as he walks inside, closing the door. “Do you mind waiting a couple of hours? I'm almost finished.”
Max nods follows me through the hallway until the living room. He keeps on his phone for an hour until he starts to walk around the living room taking his time in every photo he could find. From time to time I raise my gaze, finding him smiling at them.
Photos of my brothers and sisters with their families all over the place, but he stops a while in the photo my parents have next to the other big window.
“He is Moon?” Max asked, showing me the picture.
I take a quick look, Moon is lying down on the couch next me, sleeping after his last surgery on his leg. 
“Yeah, my dad took it, I guess that's when my conflict habits began.” It took me a couple of seconds realizing he actually heard that story. “You listen.”
Max nods, putting the photo in his place. “I'm not going to lie, the last part is hard to remember.” He smiles at me, with those eyes that make me believe good things could happen if I’m willing to take the risk.
“Hm, give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be here, ready to go.” I said walking to take my laptop and go upstairs to prepare. “A clue of where are you going to take me, for bringing the proper clothes.” 
“Kind of cold.” I nod trying to find with a couple of words, where are we going.
It took me around 20 minutes to get ready. When I got down Max was talking with someone, I guess someone of his family because he’s speaking in Dutch, so I went right to the kitchen to take some snacks, after I go back to the living room, he’s ready too. 
“What did you tell your parents? You’re dreaming if you think I’ll get you back by night?” He asks while his eyes are stuck on the road, going outside of London.
“Am, they’re with Lewis, he came for the weekend.” His jaw tense, and it took him a couple of seconds to speak one more time.
“He friendly ask me to leave you alone.” I nod hiding a smile, I can perfectly picture that friendly petition of Lewis.
“I know. He told me that too.” I see the switch of houses to greenland and the sun hiding between trees.
Max bluffs taking a look at me. “Useless, he knows my tendency of don’t follow recommendations.” I look at his eyes. “If you’re involved, he’s out of his mind.”
I turn around shaking my head, repeating the same words I texted Mika about my runaway. <It’s just a weekend, nothing more.>
After 30 minutes of driving I realize where are we heading, it’s a sight sitting place, famous for have a few cabins in case if you want to spend the night, the issue and the reason why not so many people come to this place is because the spooky stories around the place, but the view every morning and night, it’s out of this world. 
I get down, and he’s right, the cold it’s really perceptible. “How do you know this place?” 
I see around a few cars parked still not so much as to be the benign of summer.
Max stands next to me with his bag and mine on his shoulder. “Searching on the net.” I smile. “Let’s go, we’re on time to see the sundown.” 
We walked where all the cabins were. Max insisted I go ahead while he asked for our keys. There aren’t any kids, just some couples and a few teenagers with their families walking around, going with stuff for a bonfire and seeing the big trees all over the place.
“Y/N, is it you darling?” I see to my right, a woman with gray hair and big coat narrows her eyes at me, if I don’t see her peculiar earrings I wouldn't recognize her. 
“Mrs. Whisport?” The woman smiles and walks at me with open arms.
Mrs. Whitsport, was my teacher in the key stage 2, when I was 5 years old; Thomas and I always remind her of her peculiar earring which switches according to the season, time passed without a doubt.
She hugs me tight. “Look how big you are, and undoubtedly beautiful.” She grabs my face eyes full of proud. 
“Mrs. Whitsport, it’s so good to see you.” I grabbed her hands after she let go of my face. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, we came with my son and his family, passing time with my grandkids too.” She smiles seeing the people between the trees, two teenagers, his husband and a couple that I can remember, the man, her son. 
“Ready, let’s go.” Max appears with the keys between his hand and a big smile. 
Mrs. Whitsport has a big smile on her face. “So, he’s the lucky man your parents talked about last year.”  
My blood runs cold; it’s awful how the memory of someone you loved so much now only makes you shiver, unable to move or say something else. 
I hissed, but my parents must have found her before the wedding and told her; I couldn’t speak so I just had time to fake a smile, before her husband appreche to us.
Mr. Whitsport smiled at us before talking to his wife. “Darling we must leave, the kids are waiting.” 
Mrs. Whitsport nods and hugs me wishing me the best in the new stage of my life. 
Max is reminded in silence looking at me, I feel a buzz sensation all over my body but I’m trying to get rid of it quickly.
“I guess, I’m not the lucky man, right?” I close my eyes, breathing in slowly.
“Believe me, not be the <lucky man> it’s a compliment.” I feel how my nails get in my palms; fighting to put aside the memories of Caleb.
Until Max put his hand over my fist, holding it tight, making me open my eyes and seeing him.
He smiles softly at me. “We can go if you don’t feel ok.” I won’t let Caleb ruin all around me.
I tingle his finger with mine. “Never let the lucky man get between us, ok?” 
Max smiles and nods, pulling me as we walk to the cabins, letting the air help me to calm down and focus on the moment.
Our cabin is among two empty ones, the perfect spot for both of us to have privacy. Inside the bonfire under the chimney is lights on, illuminating the place. It was until Max turned on the lights that you could see the place, actually big, a small living room, a kitchen along with a small dining room and two bedrooms, however all the facilities inside.
“This cost a fortune right?” I asked as Max walked inside of each room leaving our bags. “Max?” 
I heard him giggling but he just came out. “Let’s go, I have the perfect spot for seeing the sundown.”
He passed running pulling me by my hand like a little kid going to the park after a day of school.
We walked until we found a small spot on the border of a hillside, where he’s right, you can see the sun hiding among big mountains. We sit there in silence enjoying the view and hearing sounds of night animals around us.
“Thanks.” I said out of blue with my hands hugging me. “To be like a buoy.”
Max laughs seeing me, but he knows it wasn’t the moment of asking a question I’m not able to answer, he just limits to nod, seeing the sun disappear as the night covers us.
“I’m hungry.” He said, standing shaking his jeans removing the grass from them. “Let’s see what we can find for eating.” 
He extends his hands for me to take it as we walk back talking and joking about the stories that surround this place.
“So, thank you for bringing me to a place that could scare me to death.” I joke as we enter the cabin one more time, as I head to the kitchen I see a lot of food bags on the table.
I get down my head shaking it. “You are unbelievable Emilian.” He just walks casually next me opening the bags taking out the food, that I’m not going to lie, smells amazing. 
“Emilian? That's weird to hear.” I walk to the table as he keeps taking out the food along with marshmallows, chocolate, cookies and all you could need for a bonfire.
“You’re always honest with me, right?” I started to ask him.
“Of course.” He gives my food container, lasagaña, my favorite. 
“You didn’t like to waste energy?” He sits in front of me opening his kebab.
“Saving for the best.” I take my cutlery, seeing him distracted, taking a bite.
“Did you prepare this yesterday after you left me at home or this morning?” I ask my final question.
“Yesterday, for sure.” I nod and take him a couple of seconds realizing his answer. “I mean, it came like late night idea.”
“Yes, of course.” One more time the tingling sensation in my heart begins, the mere thought of him actually came to London just to see me. It's charming. “Casanova.” 
Max choked with his food. “I only do this for you!”
“Got you.” I whisper taking the first bite of my dinner. “Lovely.”
Dinner passed after all that fuss in calmness. Even though I've been working all day, my body doesn’t feel tired at all, actually when he suggested making the bonfire I agreed right away. 
After his hardworking attempts he couldn't light on, so I took it in charge. I must thank Thomas, every camping he made me sit next to him teaching me how to light a bonfire.
He used to joke that if I got lost in the woods at least I would keep warm for the bears. 
After my second smore, he asked about my tendency with the snacks.
I giggle. “Oh, it begins when I was around 12 maybe 14, I started to stay in the library after classes and brings food take so much space on my backpack, one day I passed to a store and I found a small gummies, the package wasn’t anything noise and the smell was kind of imperceptible, perfect for the library.” Max gives another marshmello. “With the time I notice, I’ll always bring a snack, it helps me to concentrate.”
“It doesn’t have so much coherence.” I push him softly. “But it works for you.”
I nod watching the stars. “After this are you going home?” 
“I want to spend a few weeks with my family.” Max observes the fire, for the way his jaw clenched he’s still something to say.
“You better be there, they must be missing you.” I see my watch, 1 am. “And we should go to sleep, tomorrow we must go back.” 
“Do you have plans to go to Monaco?” He asked as I poured water on the bonfire to extinguish. 
“No, Monaco was momentary; here I have a lot of work, besides, Lewis tends to spend a few days here at home, so…” Max's eyes have a bit of sadness. “ Hey, I’ll be watching the races, don’t worry, I can keep an eye on you.”
This time he laughs follows me inside of the cabin, where we prepare for sleep, in our rooms, I fall asleep after reading the text of Mika, with big letters, <You better tell me everything when I see you.>
It was around 3 in the morning when the stories I was told Max started to make sense after I could swear I heard weird noises at my window, the fact you can see the log of a tree and branch hitting each other doesn’t help. 
I tried to fall asleep but I couldn't so I took my blanket and my jacket to sleep on the couch, this time with a good reason.
It works because I stop hearing the weird noises letting me fall asleep quickly, until Max wakes me up this time.
“Are you all right?” He asked, sitting in front of me. “It’s cold here.” 
I nod with my eyes close. “I heard weird noises, I got scared so I chose to sleep here.” He bluffs.
“Now, you’re the one who is scare.” Hours ago I laughed at the way Max kept turning around as we walked in the woods. 
“Shh, I’m sleeping.” I hid my face in the blanket, but he stayed there.
“Let’s switch bedrooms, a little bit of noise won’t be that frightening.” He jokes but I’m so sleep for even open my eyes.
“It’s ok, it’s been a couple of hours.” I turn around. “I’m used to this.” I heard him moving around, I thought he would just go back to his bedroom until I felt his arm under my legs and my neck, carefully carrying me.
“You’re so dim.” I couldn’t open my eyes, this time not for my sleep, this time I feel shy to even do it. 
He let me down on the bed carefully. “See, so much better, keep sleeping.” He covers me with the blankets, but…
Do you know that impulse for making worth the saying, “Now or never? This is the kind of impulse I had at that moment.
I open the blankets, grabbing his hand, pulling him to turn around, making him lay down on the bed, behind me.
“Y/N…I…” I raise my hand pulling his other arm, I feel how he’s containing his breathing. “I…”
Max cleared his voice but his words got stuck when I put the arm I was holding over my waist grabbing his hand.
“It’s cold, ok?” Feeling him so nervous makes me smirk. “Now, shh, let me sleep.”
Max moves trying to calm but I hear and feel his erratic breathing, so I turn around unable to move his arm, this time my face is against his chest.
I put my hand over it. “Am I the one who is scared?” I laugh, the beating of his heart is so fast. 
“I’m not scared.” Max said relaxing his body. “I’m nervous.”
“Mad Max scare?” I was breathing in slowly, his fragrance cloudy my mind. “Who will say?”
Max giggles, kissing the top of my head. “Keep sleeping, please.”
I nod, falling asleep as his hands hold me tight. <It’s just a weekend, nothing more.> But the best weekend in years.
The constant buzz makes me open my eyes, Max head over mine and his hands on my back and waist peacefully sleeping, I could stay here for more time but the buzzing doesn’t stop.
I move carefully, trying so hard not to wake him up; when I thought I made it, my attempt to roll was interrupted by his hand pulling me by my waist.
“We’re sleeping.” I smile but the buzz answers for me. “Fuck.” He rolls taking his phone. “It’s mine, sorry.”
I stand going to the bathroom with my cellphone, a lot of messages of family after Lewis photos with our parents enjoying the weekend along with one of Thomas, notifying me the owners of the farm agree to reunite with us Friday morning.
He doesn't know anything; Mika could be a padlock, when she wants to.
After I came out Max was walking from one side to the other with a frustrated expression on his face, speaking in Dutch one more.
After he hung up he scratched his head. “We have to go, right?”
Max opens his eyes. “How do you know?” I sit on the bed, as he keeps standing on the frame door.
“Lewis has that expression too when he has to go abruptly.” I remember the uncountable times he saw us in a calm day, follow by, <I have to go.>
“Sorry, something came up and my family loved to have me there.” Max looks so guilty, but he doesn't have too.
I smiled at him, walking to grab my bag. “I'll take a quick shower so we can go, ok?”
Max nods as he follows me with his eyes, don't say anything else.
50 minutes later we’re about to enter one more time on the gravel road of my parents house.
As I come out I see the photo of Roscoe, Lewis is calling.
“I have to pick it up.” I said to Max as I took my bag from the boot. “Hi there.”
I heard the sounds of footsteps on the wood and paws. “We're taking a quick trip, how are you?”
I look around as the sun is coming out, Max observing me. “Perfect, I see you having a great time.”
Lewis giggles. “We do, it's amazing weather around here.” I'm happy to hear that. “Just a quick news, I know how much you love to make dinner but don’t do it, when we arrive we’re going out to dinner.”
“HA HA HA, so funny.” I roll my eyes, Lewis knows perfectly I’m a disaster in the kitchen.  
The captain announced they were ready to go. “I have to go, see you in the night.”
“Yes, sir.” He laughs before hanging out.
I look at my phone before seeing Max, after all this our real lives and the atmosphere so tense around us only confirms it.
“So this is it?” Max asked like he's reading my mind. “Back to normal?”
“This is it.” I press my lips together with a smile. “Go, your family is waiting.”
Max plays with her keys to the car. “Do mind if I text you from time to time?” 
I searched for the pen on the bag, and a piece of paper, writing down my number for giving to him.
“Have a safe flight Max.” I waved my hand, feeling him close one more time, just made the knot of my heart bigger.
Max gets inside of the car seeing me with wishful eyes, but still driving outside of the house one more time.
I watch him go, before turning around entering the house.
“Get yourself together Y/N, before we get hurt again.” I whisper to myself going upstairs to my bedroom.
In the afternoon Mika came to the house with the firm intention to cook as I spit it out all the story.
As we finish our meal, I finish the story until this morning.
Mika takes a sip of his water, but her expression doesn't suit me at all, a serious face with a twisted mouth.
“You think like my brother, right?” I asked to take the last bite of my salad.
Mike's sigh. “Sorry Y/N, but I do.” She looks at me. “If you want me to be as excited as Thomas, I'm not. You just met him a few months ago, and he's so into you?” 
That's what I fear. “You're amazing, no one has to corroborate that with me, I know, but the love stories of the movies we must keep them in the movies.”
She grabs my hand. “This is for the best, if it's real, keep it real.”
“I don't get it.” I know she isn’t trying to be mean just her words, her eyes let me know, she’s actually afraid.
“Take your time, let things start to take its own course, you're just about to start a huge project, something you dream for years. You even said moving around the world is something that is tiring for you.” Mika smiles this time. “Love will come I'm sure about that but at the right moment not racing in a car.”
Both of us giggled. “Baby steps, remember?” She stands next to me. “Let this huge heart heal before letting someone else enter and pay the price for what someone else broke and it’s not completely healed.” 
I lay down my head on her shoulder. “If it's real, I will be there when you're ready.”
“I hate your way of being honest.” She laughed, hugging me tight. “But I love that honesty too.”
“A cursing gift.” We stayed in silence for a moment. “You know what I hate?”
“What?” I asked as I split apart. 
“Doing the dishes, so help me because your family will be here anytime, this is a mess” Mika stands hugging me one more time.  “You know I love you right?” She pats my back as I nod. 
“I love you too.” I whisper at her.
“Own, what a lovely scene, don't move, this deserves a picture.” Lewis appears in the kitchen with his phone right to us and with Roscoe behind him. “Mika, you cook?”
He walks, taking a bite of lunch, enjoying every moment. “Delicious as always.”
“I heard Mika cooked.” Dad appears taking a bite.
Mika rolls her eyes. “I made enough, the rest is still in the oven.”
“I smell it from the living room.” Mom enters kissing Mika cheek. “Is there for me?”
“Oh my god! You better help with the dishes family.” Lewis and dad raised his thumbs busy eating, Roscoe sitting in front of Mika ready for the vegetables. 
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canirove · 9 months ago
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My neighbour Rúben | Chapter 7
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“Lucy, what are you doing here?”
“I live here” she chuckled. “Why so surprised?”
“I wasn’t expecting you until later.” 
���I can tell… Are you hiding someone in your room?”
“What?” I asked. 
“I saw the beer bottles in the living room, and I don’t see you drinking all that on your own.”
The beers. Oh, good. I was so… gone after saying goodnight to Rúben and his kiss, and also so worried about Julia, that I had totally forgotten about them.  
“No, no. I shared them with Rúben.”
“Oh my God, is he in your room?” Lucy asked, lowering down her voice.
“What? No! He just stayed for a bit after we put Julia to bed, nothing else” I said, my face definitely looking bright red.
“Just a bit? I counted six beers.”
“Ok, fine. Maybe it was a bit longer.”
“And did anything happen?” Lucy asked with a playful smile.
“No. We just talked.”
“Really? You were drinking with a man like that and nothing happened?”
“Yeah” I shrugged. But it could have happened. I’m pretty sure he was planning on kissing me before Julia woke up.
“Do you like him?”
“What?”
“Rúben. Do you like him? Because I think he likes you.”
“He doesn’t like me” I snorted, crossing my arms over my chest. Why was I acting so… defensively?
“I met him not long after Julia was born, and he had never invited us to a game or come over for a movie night. Though it would have been a bit weird, because my ex was super jealous of him.”
“He was jealous of Rúben?”
“Oh, he was. Rúben has always adored Julia, he loves kids. And every time we crossed paths he would ask about her, make her laugh… those cute things. And my ex would get so mad… More than once our arguments started because he was jealous, thinking that I was flirting with Rúben when I was just being nice.”
“What a dick. He was the one actually doing the cheating, not you.” Because that was the reason why he and Lucy had divorced. He had been cheating on her with Julia’s piano teacher, and she probably wasn't the first.
“Exactly! So you can imagine our fight when I found out. It was… nasty.”
“I’m sorry, Lucy.”
“Oh, don’t be. I’m so much better like this… And I am not interested in Rúben in any shape or form beyond admiring how hot he is. He is all yours” she winked.
“I don’t…”
“Mami!” Julia said behind me, running towards her mum. “I’ve missed you so much!”
“So have I, princesa.”
“I am not a princess, I am Queen Elsa! She is the princess, princess Anna" she explained. "And Rúben is Kristoff.”
“Is he?” Lucy said, looking at me. “Isn’t he Anna’s boyfriend?”
“He is. But oh, mami, I have to show you the doll I got on my Happy Meal last night!” Julia said, jumping from her mother’s arms and running away.
“Anna and Kristoff, uh? Even Julia knows.”
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━
“You won’t believe what Julia’s teacher told me yesterday when I met with her” Lucy said. Since this weekend Julia was with her dad, we met to have lunch together just the two of us and organize everything for the traditional Christmas party all the neighbours celebrated together. Each year a different one was the host, and it was her turn.
“Is she struggling?”
“Oh, no, she is doing great. She actually is one of the best in her class, so I guess I have to thank you for that. But this was about a personal matter.”
“Personal? What do you mean?”
“Apparently, kids have been asking Julia if she has two mums, because someone is going around saying that the reason why my ex and I got divorced, was that I cheated on him with the piano teacher. You.”
“No way” I gasped, almost choking with my drink.
“Yep. You suddenly showed up one day, Julia said you were her piano teacher, there had been rumours about one being the cause of our break up, and they decided that that was what had happened. They believe that I sacked my old nanny and that it is you now taking care of Julia because we can finally live our love and don't have to hide anymore.”
“I… wow" I chuckled. "What about Julia, tho? What has she told the other kids? Because she hasn’t said anything to me.”
“She doesn’t understand what they mean. But her teacher told me that if they ask again, she’ll explain to them that Julia has a mum and a dad, and use that to explain to them that these days there are different types of families and they all are valid.”
“Oh, good. And the mums? Are you gonna tell them something?”
“Nah, it isn’t worth it. I’ll just wait until one day you show up with Rúben and leave them confused” Lucy smirked while taking a sip of her wine. 
“Lucy…”
“Sorry, I’m sorry. But I already told you. I think he likes you, and you definitely like him. And I know you don’t have much experience with guys and dating, but trust me, he is one of the good ones. I don’t know if he is your one or not, but whatever happens, it will be worth it” she winked, making me blush. Because I knew what was crossing her mind in that moment. “Anyway, there is something else we must discuss.”
“About the party?”
“No, but it has to do with my apartment. One of the things the mums at the school are gossiping about is that you and I are living together. And to be honest, we kind of are, aren't we? So I think we should make it official. You should move in with Julia and I.”
"I don't know, Lucy...”
“Like I said, you are basically living with us already. You have your own room and most nights you sleep there, so why pay the rent for your apartment and have to worry about missing the bus, when you could just live with us and save all that money?”
“I guess it makes sense. But are you sure? What if one day you want to bring someone home and I am there?”
“Then I’ll kick you out and send you to Rúben’s house.”
“Lucy…”
“Sorry, sorry” she apologized again. “But it is an option. And if you move in with us, it means you can see him more often, get to know each other a bit more, and see if there is something going on. I think it is a win-win situation, and Julia would love it.”
“Fine, ok” I said after thinking about it for a few seconds. It all made sense, didn't it? The Rúben part included. “I’ll move in with you.”
“Great!” Lucy said, clapping her hands just as Julia does when she gets excited. “Let’s order some champagne to celebrate.”
“I thought we were meeting to organize the party” I chuckled.
“Oh, yes. We can do that later” she replied, calling for the waiter.
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━
“Oh, for fucks sake!” I yelled, sitting on the floor. 
It was moving day, everything was going wrong and it was all my fault.
I thought I could do it all by myself, but turns out that I had way more shit than I remembered, and I ended up with two huge suitcases and a bunch of boxes, all of them very close to exploding. Which was what had happened the moment I made it to our floor. 
I left one of the boxes on top of a suitcase but it wasn’t well balanced. When I saw it was falling I tried to catch it, failed, and both the box and the suitcase fell to the floor, making a horrible noise that I’m sure everyone in the building had been able to hear. And to make it even worse, the suitcase’s zipper had broken and half my clothes were scattered all over the floor.
While I was picking everything and cursing, I heard a door opening. 
“Please don’t be Rúben, please don’t be Rúben” I said under my breath.
“What the hell happened here? Are you ok?” Rúben said, bending down next to me.
“I’m fine, don’t worry. My suitcase, not so much.”
“Let me help you” he said, picking up some of my clothes. Or to be precise, a bag full of knickers. 
“I don’t need help with this” I said, quickly grabbing the bag from his hand, my face burning. “But you could pick those boxes over there and bring them inside.”
“Ok” he smirked. Because even though I wasn’t looking at his face due to how emabarrased I was, his voice was saying it all. “Are you sure you don’t need help with that suitcase?”
“I…” I needed help. The zipper was completely broken and I wasn’t strong enough to carry it. He, with his big arms, definitely was. “Ok. But don’t open it.”
“I won’t, I promise.” 
As expected, he lifted it with ease and I followed him inside the house while carrying the other suitcase. 
“Where should I put this?”
“My room. Over here.”
“Are you… are you moving in with Lucy and Julia?” Rúben asked after leaving the suitcase on the floor.
“I am, yes. Lucy thought it was the best idea since I spend most of my time here.”
“Are gonna be proper neighbours?”
“We are, yes.”
“Well, my door will always be open for you. Whatever you may need.” 
When he said that, I made the huge mistake of looking at him… and there it was. That smirk that made my knees feel like jelly. 
“Thank you” I muttered. “And for helping me too.”
“Do you need anything else?”
“The will to unpack all of this” I sighed.
“If you aren't in the mood for it, why don’t we go out somewhere? The Christmas market is already open, so we could have a look, get a hot chocolate...”
“Are you allowed to drink hot chocolate?” I chuckled.
“I am allowed to eat and drink many things. I just choose not to do it because I like being healthy. But when you are around, I can’t help but sin.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. It is worth it” he smiled. But it wasn’t one of those smirks he liked giving me when he was being cheeky. This was different. This was an honest smile, though there was something else there…
“Rúben!” Julia said, running into my room and throwing herself at him. “Why are you here? Are we watching "Frozen" again?”
“Oh, hello” Lucy said from the door. “Didn’t know we had company.”
“I was just helping with the move.”
“One of my suitcases exploded in the hallway” I explained. “Anyway, why are you here? Weren’t you going to the park?”
“We were” Lucy said. “But Julia saw the lights of the Christmas market, wanted us to go there, and I had forgotten my wallet. That’s why we came back.”
“Do you want to come with us?” Julia asked. “We are going to buy decorations for the tree.”
“Oh, yes, come with us! We can have like a welcome party there and get ourselves some hot chocolate. Do you drink hot chocolate, Rúben?” Lucy asked, making us laugh. ���Why is that funny? Am I missing something?”
“Nothing, don’t worry” Rúben said. “But I like the idea of the welcome party. I’m in.”
“Then it is settled. It’s three against one, and we can’t have a welcome party without the main guest. Get a scarf and a hat, it is cold” Lucy said, not giving me a chance to complain.
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chussyracing · 3 months ago
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what's been happening in the world of motorsports lately?
a long overdue summary which is not including absolutely everything but at least some important stuff. there is a lot, so i'm putting it under the read more button :)
Jack Doohan confirmed to partner Gasly in Alpine for 2025
Ferrari will be bringing upgrades for Monza (and Fernando had something to say about their performance over the next two races……)
after the court decided that Haas owes Uralkali they were told to send unspecified amount of money as unpaid sponsorship bid to them but their trucks were literally held hostage in Zandvoort (after Uralkali got help from Dutch court), not allowed to leave with the rest of the teams until the transaction was finalized and the money ended up in Uralkali’s account, but that is sorted for now so they don’t expect to miss out on Monza
Liberty Media are selling a share in F1 to have enough funds to get Moto GP
if you weren’t already tired of it, there is another rumour of Logan losing his seat mid-season, this time either to Mick or Liam Lawson that James Vowles apparently spoke to after Logan crashed in FP3 and ultimately broke the upgrades he was fitted with for the weekend (Wolff confirmed that Kimi won’t be going to Williams for the rest of the season but didn’t rule out Mick as he “offered” him to James… he might get sold to 1d you guys), there is also possibility for Franco Colapinto to actually choose from their own junior academy
Helmut Marko said that Liam Lawson will have a seat in one of their teams in 2025, Horner said he might be on loan to another team at the same time (choose your fighter)
Lewis’ current race engineer Bono (Bonnington) will stay in Mercedes and even gets a promotion as Head of Race Engineering after Lewis’ departure, while Lewis will inherit Ricky (Adami) from Carlos in Ferrari
also Checo’s race engineer is leaving for paternity leave, so they prepared a switch up to make his current performance engineer Richard Wood (sorry but you mean to tell me there is a guy and his name is Dick Wood????? in a world where Prince Albert is real well? ok) temporarily his race engineer
Toto had a lil Freudian slip and said that they had a small chance to get Max which has now passed but they are happy about their Goerge-Kimi line up for 2025
Kimi will also have junior outing in fp1 in Lewis’ car in Monza
there are rumours about a potential F1 race in Rwanda as Domenicali had more meetings to ensure that over the summer break, it should be a permanent track and not a street circuit, so I take this as a big win (now if only we took existing track and upgraded them instead of making new ones)
Lando’s gap between p1 and p2 was the biggest winning margin all season not as big as his ego though, knowing he said “simply lovely” after crossing the checkered flag as a dig at Max lol (Sauber drivers were lapped twice I think, as much for the cars being close in performance we thoughts we could see this year)
Alex was disqualified from quali in Zandvoort because his floor was outside of compliance of the rules, so he had to start from the pitlane although he got to p8 on merit
Liberty Media are officially under investigation for rejecting Andretti’s bid to become 11th team by the US Department of Justice’s antitrust division
Charles is on the new edition of Beyond the Grid podcast which is now also available in video form (all I saw about it so far is that he wants to win with Ferrari only and he believes they can do it, he name dropped Elon Musk ew and he said Leo pees everywhere)
Zak Brown refused McLaren would be signing Adrian Newey
Nina Gademan was the wildcard for Zandvoort’s F1 Academy race and she SLAYED
Isotta Fraschini ends in WEC before the season is done so you won’t see the only private team on the grid for the last three races
despite (or maybe because) being Ferrari reserve driver, Robert Schwartzman got a chance to have a junior outing in fp1 for Stake in Zandvoort
FIA officially banned asymmetrical brakes in fear it could bring advantage (in turns) – it can be either a reaction to someone’s grey area shady business this year or reaction to teams questioning the new technical rules for 2026 onwards
Oscar got his rib broken because of wrong seat/seating position and it happened around Austria/Silverstone, but he is fully healed by now
Audi is looking at Mick and Liam Lawson as some potential candidates for the seat (but also Valtteri and now apparently Robert Schwartzman and Guanyu too – Valtteri because he posted an Audi car with number 77 on it, Robert because of his junior outing in fp1 and Guanyu because of possible sponsorship deals)
Helmut Marko yapped about Seb Vettel and that it is no secret besides Red Bull he was asking one or two other teams if they have a free seat for him
there was also the one Kyle guy from??? Nascar I think? thinking he is overall better driver than Max Verstappen which is honestly just a bit funny
gentle reminder that the drivers now have to be way more careful on the radio about swearing and talking about stewards and race control, because FIA will now be penalizing such behaviour as misconduct (Ben Sulayem also linked it all to online abuse which is a campaign he focused on with his presidency)
Mattia Binotto will have “full responsibility” in Audi because they are apparently happy about how much experience he has, especially in the technical department
Peter Bayer said that if it goes like that Yuki will be considered for 2025 Red Bull seat
Peter Windsor said that one driver is doing rally testing in secret and doing good results among uncertain F1 future and that he won’t tell who it is but it’s not Max (and then Val was asked about it because he could be the one with uncertain future and he denied it)
Ferrari will be switching to pull-rod front suspension for 2025
Oscar started his own app similarly to Logan
Porsche said after they failed to partner with Red Bull, they closed the F1 chapter and don’t wanna pursue another entry into the series
David Malukas is no longer jobless, he signed multiyear contract with AJ Foyt in Indycar
Zane Maloney tested with IndyCar in Indianapolis
BBS won’t be supplying wheel rims after 2026 to everyone so it will be one of the parts teams can get from any supplier they wish
Domenicali wants more changes to the weekend structure in the future – probably more sprints and less FPs or none at all (or points for them), maybe even reverse grid
(not sure if I already wrote this down in previous round up but) Nyck de Vries will go to Super Formula starting round 5
Fionn McLaughlin and Scott Linblom joined Red Bull junior academy
the complaint against Horner has been dismissed (are you kidding me)
Marta Garcia debuted in GT racing in Ligier European Series JS2 R and lost podium from the first race due to penalty only to win the second race
Zak Brown is apparently trying to take away team’s veto/voting rights for the new Concorde Agreement that is being finalized for future decisions
Adidas is apparently in talks with Audi to become their clothing partner
Juri Vips was meant to drive an indycar race but I didn’t put enough effort into this to find out if he really did teehee :)
(Bonus from my fave gossipers: They are set on Newey going to Ferrari, the talks about Aston bring up his value though, something his manager Eddie Jordan is well aware of. Also there are talks about the Ferrari upgrades for Monza and that they will be black – deleted everything else because they already posted the black merch and suits so they were right about this lol)
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covencupid · 2 years ago
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I Want You (The Cabin Story) : Chapter Two
Y'all I'm sorry for the delay! I rarely get a three-day weekend, so I was stoned and shlumped the whole time. Really, I do my best work (writing) while I'm supposed to actually be working (employment). I'm also realizing I maybe took too fat a rip before work. It's ok I work from home. :)
Danny's had his eye on you. He's been finding himself enjoying the times he interacts with you a little too much. He's got to get you out of his system. A little house call. Once that's done it'll be easier for him to go for the kill. Right?
Pairing: Danny Johnson X Fem!Reader. Use of gendered language.
TW/CW: The usual (stalking, manipulation, threats of violence, actual violence) gore, descriptions of torture, corpses, and murder. Psychological horror, child murder (imma need you to hold your judgement on this one, it's not what you think, but it's also not good), hallucinations, descriptions of visual hallucinations.
Tags will be updated as needed, but to be honest I kinda forgot what I put in this.
When I said you just kinda roll with being kidnapped, this is what I meant.
Your Place // The Cabin // The Woods
~I Want You~
~Chapter Two: The Cabin~
When you awoke you became aware of the restraints at your wrists and ankles at the same time that you noted that you were in a very different room.  Your feet were bound at the ankles and your hands were tied behind your back. Your bed had turned into what was easily a California King. It felt like an island in the dimly lit room. A soft, dark green comforter made your awkward position a little more comfortable. You rolled over onto your side to survey the rest of the room. You could make out a dresser on the far wall with a mirror above it. To your left there was a writing desk stacked with books, journals and loose paper. There was a window to the left of the desk and on the other side of it, meeting the corner wall, was a low bookshelf near the bed. You could see a book that had been plucked from the shelf sitting on top next to a little figure of a rabbit, carved from wood. You tried to glean as much detail of the small sculpture as you could in the low light. You must've been looking so intently, so reverently that you hadn't noticed him come into the room until he spoke.
"You like that one huh?" Your head whipped around so fast you flopped on your back. The Ghostface creeped forward, giving a short little exhale through his nose as he picked up the rabbit carving. He turned to lean over you, wiggling the figure in your face. "Ya know, there's a story there, but it wouldn't play well with your little bunny sensibilities." You didn't have a chance to raise a question before he popped it on the nightstand and jumped into bed, causing you to wobble around a bit until he grabbed you by the waist to face him. He was leaning on his side, propped up by his elbow. "Well, how do you like the place?" He sounded excited and that made you very nervous.
"I- it's nice, it's a nice room. Where are we?" You wanted to be home. You wanted to be anywhere that assured your safety and into the lion's den is decidedly not so.
"We are in my cabin. Our little love shack, if you will."
You blinked at him. "What? When can I go home?"
Baby there is no “going home”, but you can think of this as one until your final home in the ground. “Where’s the fun in putting limits to our time here? Let’s just let this play out.” He booped your nose.
“Are you going to leave me tied up the whole time?” You wiggled around to emphasize your restraints.
“Come on, babe. Give me some credit, but I need to be sure you won’t run before I start being a gentleman.”
You begin to plead your case immediately. “I won’t run, I promise. I’ll stay here. I promise I won’t go anywhere you don’t tell me to, I swear. I’ll do what you want, please.” Being bound in front of him, you felt far more vulnerable than in his grasp. Being in his hand felt oddly reassuring. Being presented before him felt distant, like a specimen on a slab. You could feel the tears building up. You looked at him like he was the god of your tiny life, in a way he was. Looking at him like that, it imbued a sense of power into Danny that was so unlike the power he held right before snuffing out a life. You handed him a loaded gun.
The girl delivered her promises with more veneration than others had recited prayers at his feet before their final moments. Her eyes were wide with fear and maybe a little bit of hope. He’d love to see those pupils get blown out as he fucks into her. Watch as her gaze locks onto his, as she recites her pretty promises to him. He would untie her, but he can’t have her thinking she can just bat her eyelashes and tell him what he wants to hear for her to get her way. He reached his hand out to stroke her hair, his thumb reaching down to wipe tears on her cheek.
“Don’t feed me any promises you don’t plan to keep.” He gripped the back of her head shoved it back down onto the bed. “I’ll untie you.” He gave her shoulder a shove so that she was flat on her belly. He straddled her, sitting on her legs. One hand ran up and down the length of her arms while the other pulled the hunting knife from its sheath. “But not because you asked, though I’m still gonna hold you to your word.” He sliced through the ropes at her wrists like butter. Her arms sprung out to her side as a sigh escaped her lips. His mind danced back to those lips on his. His hand grazed her back as it made its way up her neck into her hair. His fingers spread out across her head in a way that must’ve felt nice to her because she let out a small moan she tried to hide in the mattress. I’ll have more of that in time.
His fingers tangled up in your hair made your skin prick up and sent little tingles up your spine. Before you could even express any gratitude towards your captor for freeing your wrists, white hot pain seared across your scalp as his fist yanked your head up by your hair. You felt the cool metal of his blade on your neck. His warm breath was in your ear.
“I untie you because I want to, I keep you alive because I want to. You are here at my pleasure and I will not hesitate to let my hand slip if you go back on the promises you swore to me.” His tone was as harsh as his grip. He jerked her head back a bit to punctuate his last remark, “Understood?” Your eyes tried to find him in your periphery.
“Yes, I understand. I Understand.” you gasped out. Satisfied, he pulled the knife back and let your face drop onto the mattress. You yelped and went to prop yourself up by your arms when you felt him tug you down to the foot of the bed. He was dragging you by the rope that bound your ankles. “Ow, hey!” You flipped over to face him, your expression miffed.
“Oh sorry, baby. I can leave these be if you prefer?” He tapped at the ropes playfully.
“What, no! You pulled me so hard, I’ll get friction burn.” He laughed, actually threw his head back and laughed.
“You know you’ve really got your priorities screwed up, but it works for me.” He slit the ropes off so fast. The speed of his movement unnerved you, but he was moving up the hand that held your leg before you could think. He was letting your newly freed legs spread enough to let him fit comfortably between you. He was hovering over you and looking down at you like starved dog would a juicy steak. “Sorry baby, let me apologize.”
It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. You released a breath you didn't know you were holding. You had gone from annoyed to flustered at breakneck speed. When your eyes locked with the black holes of the mask you felt your head go fuzzy and your veins run cold. You had always felt that you had some preternatural awareness for what people wanted from you. Yet, trapped underneath him, you still didn't know. You thought he wanted to hurt you, but his hand slowly trailing up your skin made you think otherwise. But he threatened you! You felt the sting of his grip on your head echoing in your memory. Could be that same hand making languid strides up your side. How can the same hand touch you so tenderly after such harsh treatment.
"I don't know what you want from me." You blurted the words out before you could stop yourself. He pulled back for a bit, his hand went up to stroke your cheek. It took everything within you not to lean into his incredibly warm touch. You hadn't even noticed when he took off his gloves. His hand dipped to gently hold your chin between his thumb and forefinger.
"I just wanna get to know you, have you get to know me." His tone was cheeky, like he was playing a game he didn't explain the rules for. "How can I get to know you when I don't even know what you look like, I don't even know your name just what everyone calls you."
He let out a little chuckle and bid you to continue "...and that is?" Saying it out loud felt like an entirely different hurdle. You couldn't, it would make it real. Too real, that you are trapped in a cabin with him somewhere you didn't even know. You swallowed when you felt his grip on your chin tighten. "Say it." He was firm. No room for arguments.
"Ghostface"
Danny was stalling. Though he did like hearing how the words came out a breathy whisper. He wants her to know his name, to say it over and over until it's the only word she knows. He was debating whether to gamble his luck with her. Letting her know these things shifted the power in to her hands. She could run, she could tell anyone she could all about him. What could she say? Realistically, where could she go? She'd wander the woods for miles before she'd ever encounter another person. She's not exactly a survivalist. She wouldn't last. She needs me to stay alive. He tried to weigh the risks rationally, but his growing lust for the soft creature he had caught in his trap made it all the more difficult. He could tell her his name. Not much that cops can do with "Danny." There it was again, the doe-eyed expression.
"My name is Danny. Good for you to know what you're gonna be screaming out later." She looked at him like he dropped a dead rat at her feet.
"What- I'm not- why would I?" Her features twisted into something resembling disgust but without the true repulsion behind it.
Hmm maybe I like it when you play dumb. He inched down so that the tip of her nose touched the mask. He wanted the barrier between them gone. He wanted to feel her skin on his, to lock eyes with her while he touched her and see her face change with pleasure. But if he takes it off it seals her fate, there will be no hope for her outside his grasp. If she knows his face, she can never leave this place. She could never leave him. She'd have to stay here, with him, or else she'd have to die. Can't have anyone knowing his identity. It's merciful, really. A good deed. Keeping the girl alive. She should be grateful. Feeling his resolve break, he tore off the mask. Seeing her clearly like this only solidified his plan.
"I can show you exactly what I mean." His lips crashed into hers. She can never leave.
He didn’t let you think, he never let you think. He just did as he wished, took you where he wanted to, held you how he wanted to. The taste of his mouth, almost bitter, like dark chocolate. It made your head swim. You already felt unsteady and now you are scrambling to hold on to anything to make you feel grounded. The only place you found that stability was against the chest of the man that held you in place. Your hands grabbed onto the soft fabric of his black hoodie. His hands were in your hair again, but this time holding you tenderly, gently weaving out his hands from your locks to avoid tangling. One hand reached down to your neck and gave it a light squeeze. You couldn’t help the little moan you made into his lips. It fueled him further. You felt his other hand reach down between your thighs. You closed tried to close them out of instinct, but you only tightened the grip your legs had on him. You pushed at his chest.
“No-wait.” You took a moment to catch your breath. Being able to actually get a look at him now you felt even more flustered. In a way, you can expected him to be ugly. A face worth hiding. Instead you found yourself avoiding those dark, sleepy eyes that felt like they saw right through you. He was handsome in a slightly rugged way. His hair was black and cropped shirt, but you could see the hints of a curl to his hair. He licked his lips. He wore an impish little smile. You could see a scar on his bottom lip and another splitting the end of one eyebrow. They looked old. He had light stubble about this jaw. You wondered what he would look like with a full beard. How it would be like to kiss him with it.
“You know I won’t tell anyone you put out on the first date. It’ll be our little secret.” He gave you a wink. You wanted to strangle him again.
Danny enjoyed every second he watched her struggling to form words. It was so easy to work her up.
“No that’s- I’m not- First of all I don’t.” She looked downright offended.
“Why not, I do.” Danny interjected. He savored how she blushed in response.
“Well congrats, but I’m not just going to let you fuck me when I don’t know the first thing about you other than that you are very wanted by police.”
Oh, she wants a connection first. How cute. “So I tell you my favorite color and then you let me see if it matches your panties?”
The girl huffed. “Nice try. Are you from here?”
Danny let out a hearty laugh. “Be a little less obvious with your detective work, babe. What do you want my mom’s maiden name too?” The girl gripped the hem of her shorts.
“No, that’s not what I meant. I just-” tears threatened to spill from her eyes. “I mean fuck! Can you blame me for wanting to get to know the man that wants to fuck me?” The tears began to flow freely, at first slowly falling down her cheeks until they turned  in small sobs. Fuck. This isn’t what Danny wanted. He wanted her screaming and crying, but from the sheer bliss of being fucked to stupidity, not from a lack of connection with her captor. Fix it, fucker. Danny scooted closer to her on the bed where she had shrunk into herself.
“Hey, hey. Baby, come here.” He pulled her into his lap and held her head close to his chest. He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear as he cooed into her ear. “Ya know this was my grandpa’s cabin first. My mom’s dad. She would bring me here in the summer to visit. He taught me about woodcarving the last summer I came to visit. I spent my summer learning how to carve out that little bunny.” And when I came home and showed my old man what I learned he told me he would show me “the only right way to carve a rabbit” and dragged me out into the woods. Just me and him, he had looked down at me and told me he was going to show me how to build a trap.  When the scared little thing fell into one of my newly built traps he handed me his knife. He talked me through it. He didn’t like the sloppy job I did with the first one so he made me do it again “until I can see the confidence in your cut”. It was four in the morning until he was satisfied.
The girl sniffed. “Have you made others?”
“I never really picked it back up.” Always had something else to carve. She blinked at him and turned to look at the bunny carving on the nightstand.
“But it’s good! And you did that as a kid?” Danny reached over to pick up the bunny and pass it to her. Her eyes lit up. She turned it around in her hands as she admired his work.
“Yeah, heh. Not exactly a masterpiece-”
She cut him off, “What no! It’s really good, I know I couldn’t even do this as an adult.” She was smiling, it made his heart rise in his throat. He wanted to elicit more smiles from her. He wanted, more than for her to feel better, to be the reason she felt good. Holding her in his lap, he could smell her hair. A mix of cherry scented shampoo and her own scent. It was intoxicating. He want to breathe all of her in, to fall asleep with that sweet scent tucked under his chin.
“I could show you how. I think. I could show you the basics.” Her whole face lit up like Christmas.
“Really? To make a bunny?” He let out a small chuckle.
“A bunny for a bunny. We can start tomorrow.” She gave him a look. He couldn’t decipher it until she kissed him. It tasted sweeter than ever before.
Maybe this was the beginnings of insanity. You had to be losing it. You had always heard of instinct kicking in just in time for people to react in life threatening situations. You doubted the capabilities of your ancestors if your instinct was to kiss your captor. But you didn’t feel threatened, not anymore at least. Being in his arms was comforting. It unnerved you how easily you fell into them. How soothing you found his touch. It felt right. He didn’t hesitate to kiss you back. You reached back to place the bunny on the nightstand without breaking the kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck as his hands held your waist. One hand went up into his hair. You were growing to like the taste of his mouth, maybe he smoked. Your legs spread at either side of his lap. As you leaned into the kiss you felt him react to your touch. He was getting hard. No doubt ready to continue what he had started. It felt so wrong before, but now? Even though you thought you were going against all logic, it just felt so right. Maybe you wanted him to go further. You felt his hand come up your sides. You wanted him to reach up your shirt. Instead, he got you by your shoulders and gently pushed you back.
“You should sleep. It’s been a long night. I’ll bring you water.” Before you could protest he got off the bed and left the room, leaving you hot and bothered alone. When he came back with a glass of water you tried to make eye contact with him. You wanted to talk to him, to apologize for whatever way you overstepped. You started to speak but he cut you off, “Rest up, we got a date tomorrow.”
You awoke to him, Danny, bringing in bags of clothes, your clothes. "What are you doing?" You rubbed the sleep from your eyes as you pulled yourself out of bed.
"I want you to wear something nice, but I wasn't about to chauffer you back and forth to let you get ready. There's a bag in there with your bathroom stuff. Makeup, soaps, perfume, stuff."
You walked over to him and sat down by the bags, rummaging through their contents. "Where? You just dumped them into a garbage bag?" It would've been a thoughtful gesture, but your things had been transported like he was evacuating for a hurricane.
"Oh I'm sorry, princess. I should've taken my time, packed 'em with care, maybe say hi to your neighbors while I load up your precious cargo?" You shot him a look. You were annoyed at him, but in the end grateful. He's bringing you your things. He's not planning on killing you anytime soon. You are still alive, and you were grateful.
The little miffed expression she put on gave way to a soft look in her eyes. "Thank you. I really do appreciate it."
Danny gave her a little smirk. "Yeah well, you can thank me later." He winked which caused a slight blush to rise in her cheeks.
"What are we going to do anyway?"
Eager aren't we. "I'm not ruining the surprise, sweet cheeks. Have a little patience, pick out a nice dress." Danny went for the door. "Breakfast is ready."
She looked surprised. "There's a kitchen?" Danny raised an eyebrow at her.
"This isn't a shack, babe. You don't have to shit in the woods either."
She scoffed, "Well how was I supposed to know? I haven't left this room." Danny opened the bedroom door with a flourish and extended his hand out graciously, inviting her to take it.
"Then let me give you the grand tour." Her face lit up. She hurried to her feet to take his hand.
"Oh, why thank you, sir." Oh? I think I like that. Sir.
You wrapped your arm around his upper arm as he guided you through the rest of the moderately sized cabin. It had no frills. Aside from the bedroom and the small bathroom connected to it, the rest of the cabin was laid out in a single room, an open floorplan. There was a small kitchenette on the far wall, the back door sitting next to it. There was a little breakfast nook in the upper left corner of the room. The sunlight peeking through made the scene look dreamy. There was an old, worn-in couch by the front door, facing the breakfast nook. A large bookshelf sat perpendicular to the couch. It was filled to the brim and stacked in the gaps between the shelves and the books as well. A dark rug pulling together the cozy little spot. There was not much else in terms of decoration. A few gardening tools hung near the back door. A simple coat rack stood by the front. Danny walked a bit ahead of you to stand in the center of the room. He extended his arms out at his sides, a showman.
"Well, this is it. What'd ya think?"
Danny didn't expect her to look so impressed. He might as well had shown her the Taj Mahal.
"Wow. You know, I've never been in a cabin. But they always looked so cozy. You said your grandpa lived here?" She walked right by him to his bookshelf, tilting her head as she eyed the titles.
"Yeah, he was a bit of a hermit, hated most people except for my mom and me." She was looking at him now.
"What about your dad?" Danny wanted to talk about something else now.
"They didn't really mesh." Danny remembered begging his mother to let him stay past the summer. "No, Danny you have to go back to school." his mother had reminded him, dragging him back to the car. If he couldn't get her to see reason he could make it as difficult as possible for her to get him in the car. He made himself go dead weight. "I don't wanna go! I don't need to go to school, poppy said he learned at home and not school!" His mother looked exasperated at the sky. "Poppy is from a different time. He learned at home because his parents were very strict." Danny pouted up at her. "Dad is very strict, so I should learn here." He kicked at the ground while his mother tried to hoist him up. "Daniel. Enough." Danny's mother sat at his level. "Sweetie please, if we're late back your father will want to know why." She didn't need to say more. Danny peeled himself off the ground with a groan. His mother brushed the leaves from his back. He hated having to leave. He didn't know it yet, but it would be the last time he was allowed to visit poppy's cabin. Last time he'd see it again until he learned that he had passed and left the cabin to him the year he turned nineteen.
You felt the air had shifted in the room. The change was almost imperceptible, but you noticed the way his jaw tightened ever so slightly. He was there with you, a tight smile on his lips, and he was somewhere unreachable. Unaware, you granted him mercy.
"So when did you make it your own?" He snapped back into reality. Back to you.
"Not until I came back from the military. Only place to come back to really. No rent so, it was just convenient." This took you by surprise.
"You were in the military? How long?"
He sucked in his teeth a bit, "A stint after high school. Paid for college." You eyed him, squinting.
"So where are your dog tags? Don't you get those?" Danny exhaled sharply through his nose.
"They're somewhere, not here. Not about to traipse around with a chain that has my government name. That'd be a goldmine for detectives." You rolled your eyes.
"So you never wear them." He looked at you with a cocked eyebrow.
"No. I don't. But it seems like you're real interested in them, so if you wanna see them dangle on your tits when we fuck, I can make an exception." You slapped his arm playfully.
"That is not why I was asking. I just thought they were a big deal." Danny went to get the percolator off the stove.
"Not for a man like me." He looked at you again, a devilish smile playing on his lips.
After your breakfast, Danny showed you the back of the cabin. A patch of worn out ground made a small back patio. Danny sat you on a log stool.
"Ok wait here, I'll be right back." He hadn't told you why he wanted to show you the outside. You had figured, being captive and all, the outside wouldn't be a feature he'd like to advertise. You heard his bootsteps getting further away. You heard the sound of something heavy. Your head whipped around. He didn't say not to look. He was setting a short log onto another considerably large one. He was holding an axe. In a flash, he struck down, splitting the log with a small grunt. You saw the muscles in his arm tense. They were soft, almost hidden, built over the grueling physical labor of his work, his true profession. He lazily discarded one half to the side. The ease of his movements made your insides flutter. The off white crew neck shirt he wore fit snug, tucked into his black pants. He split a half even further vertically and then once again horizontally. Sensing an audience he cocked his head to you and gave you a cheeky grin. He plucked the last two pieces in his hand, giving them a wiggle out to you.  He swiped the rest of the pieces off the large log with his axe before burying the blade into the wood. He sauntered over to you.
"Enjoyed the show, did ya?" He tossed one half to you. You catch it awkwardly midair.
"I wasn't looking- like that. And anyway, you didn't say I couldn't!" You could feel the heat creeping up your neck.
"Sounding a little defensive there. Don't ya think, bunny?" You scoffed, too hard you were realizing.
"I'm not defensive! I can't be defensive, there's nothing to be defensive about." You felt stung with shame.
"Hey, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty about liking what you see." He winked.
"Ok, well if this is what your lessons are going to be like, I'll pass." You went up to leave, but his hand gripped your shoulder. It wasn't harsh, but it was unshakable.
"Wait." You stared at your shoes. You couldn't meet his eyes. He tipped up your chin. "C'mon baby, I'm just teasin'."
Just show her how to work the knife. Danny pulled a small folding knife from his pocket and presented it to the girl. She just stared at it before he made mocking little growling noise while crawling the knife through the air towards her. She looked appalled up at him. He snickered.
“Oh come on. It’s not gonna bite you.” Her hand reached up timidly to pick up the knife. She held it elegantly, but unsure. Danny grabbed the knife by the blade and pulled it out of her hand in a blink of a moment. “I shouldn’t be able to do that.” Danny said flatly at her. He exhaled sharply, pointing the handle out to her. She grabbed the knife, but he held onto the blade when she tried to pull it back. She pulled a little harder, he held a little tighter. The knife hung suspended, unmoving. “That’s the grip I want you to have.” He remarked before letting go. She wordlessly adjusted her grip. Better. “Alright,” he pulled his own small knife from his pocket, “hold the wood you carve with the same grip. You slip, you slice a finger, my first aid does the best it can.” Her eyes went wide again. “Babe, you’re working with knives, you’re going to have to get comfortable with a small amount of danger. The risk for the reward.” She let out a steady exhale. The morning sun illuminating her in a halo of light. She was adjusting her grip. The curve of her neck sloping down to her shoulders invited his eyes to scan further.  Following the soft turns of her body he looked down at the curve of her breasts peeking from the top of her tank top. He swallowed. “Ok, so you see how I hold it against the would here? You’re gonna apply steady pressure-” Danny was making a slow glide into a corner of the wood when she cut him off.
“How will I know that I’m carving out a right amount for the bunny?” Danny looked at her, amused.
“Slow down, Michelangelo. You crawl before you walk. I said I’d teach you the basics. You don’t even know how to hold the knife without shaking, so let’s tackle the things in our skill set first.” She looked back at him, her eyebrows beginning to furrow. “Don’t pout at me. I could be teaching you my old man’s way. Could tell you I wanna come back to a job done right and leave you here to figure it out.” She looked stung, but she also gave him a look he couldn’t quite decode. Not sadness, maybe recognition. Either way, lost on Danny.
Danny had a boy’s confidence and the power of a man’s body. He wore his exterior well. Proud, sure of himself. He knows exactly where he falls on the food chain. He knows what to say without thinking. He sleeps easy knowing he will never be prey. Not anymore. His features looked stern. Tired. Frustrated with you. You felt a needy pit growing in the center of your chest. You wanted him to look at you fondly, proud. You tried to make a cut, smooth and confident into the wood. Danny’s knife had glided through the wood piece like butter, with a soft grinding sound. Your blade dug into the wood at a harsh angle, stuck. You looked back up at him, nervous.
“It got stuck, I’m sorry I don’t know how- I tried to do it like you did, but you made it look so easy and-” he cut off your appeal.
“Alright alright.” He tossed his chunk of wood out to the pile by the cabin and popped the knife into his pocket. “Before you start cryin’, I was expecting that for your first cut. It’s fine. Look, I’m gonna show you.” He walked behind you, leaned over and held your hands in his. You felt his breath, hot, kissing a small patch of your temple. You felt your face go fuzzy. He was working your hands like a doll. He moved you right where you needed to be. He knew exactly what you needed. Where you needed more pressure, and where you need a softer touch. He had capable hands. Capable of brutality and ecstasy with the same feverish intensity. You smelled the hint of coffee on his breath. It mixed with the warm leather musk of his skin and the cigarette he had after breakfast. You leaned back ever so slightly into his chest. You didn’t just let him play with your arms. You moved within his movements with your own force behind them. You trusted his direction, in the knowledge of his hands. You put your trust directly in his hands. His lips grazed the shell of your ear. A voice low, admiring “Good job. You’re on your way, bunny.” As soon as the words hit the inside of your brain it triggered a craving. You wanted him to sing your praises. You wanted to make him happy.
Danny pressed his thumbs onto the tops of your own. The one supporting the knife applied a little more pressure. Your cuts were becoming more confident and smooth. He loosened the pressure so that his hands merely shadowed your own. It allowed you to show him what you learned, without the push of his hand. You heard him hum approvingly as you knife cut smoothly through the wood. You felt the gentle rumble pass through his chest and into your back. It trickled down between your legs.
"There you go. That's very good. See what happens when you listen to me?" He abruptly pulled away leaving you feeling exposed. You wanted his warmth on your back again, arms grazing yours. He seemed to notice. "Don't look so disappointed. You don't need me hovering over you. Besides, I have to get some things ready for tonight. I'll be gone most of the day. Stay inside, don't make a mess." You felt as though you had been emptied. He was leaving you here. You aren't sure why you expected him to take you where he went. You wanted to go with him.
"What do I do?" He gave a wide grin that pushed at his tired eyes.
"C'mon. you don't need me to tell you that. Carve some shit, or read, or fold your clothes, I don't know. Fill up the time until I need you ready at eight." He was already halfway in the door. You followed him, still clutching the oblong carved wood and knife. When you neared him he whipped around and caught your wrist how a lizard would catch a fly. Instant, instinctual. He held the fist that held the knife up to his face and plucked the knife from your hand.
"Actually, I'm taking this. I don't want you getting any ideas." He turned and continued walking without waiting for a response. You quickened your pace to follow after him.
"What did you think I was going to do?" It was accusatory. He held you captive in the middle of the woods and you were hurt that he didn't trust you. You wanted to laugh, maybe it would cover up the sting.
"Oh please, don't act innocent. Leaving a weapon behind for the girl I'm keeping? What kinda man do you take me for?" He popped a cigarette in his mouth, lighting it. He spoke with the filter between his lips, "Besides you can play around with all of Daddy's knives while I'm around." You hated how he flirted with you as he put you back into your place. Back into the place where he wanted you. A doll in box.  He's almost out the front door. He blows a plume of smoke out through his nose and plucks the cigarette from his lips. He turns to you at the doorway, cupping your cheek with the hand holding the cigarette, "You know I've gotta supervise you to make sure these pretty hands don't get hurt." He picks up your other hand, holding it up to his lips to give your fingers a delicate kiss. He drops your hand like he had never held it, and turned to leave. Opening the door, he speaks to you without turning to face you. "If I come back and you're not here I will hunt you down these woods like the wild game that you are. I'll find you wherever you are, and I will drag you back here and gut you like a little bunny rabbit using the same knife I taught you with. Tell me you understand." He stood, eerily still. He could probably hear how hard you swallowed and how unsteady your breath sounded.
"I understand, Danny." You saw him straighten a bit.
"Good." He locked the door behind him. You heard his car start up and pull away.
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fawnandshadows · 1 year ago
Text
How You Get The Girl
Chapter 7
Chapter 6
AO3
Warnings: None
—————
“Can I get you anything?”
Elain looked up from her half eaten slice of pizza and saw Azriel towering over her. She bit her lip as she took in his tall frame — a blue flannel layered over a faded black band tee, ripped black jeans, and dark hair that curled over his ears. Two of his hands raised: one holding a red plastic cup and the other a heavy plate of pizza. 
Elain caught the glint of his safely pin cartilage piercing and the cigarette tucked behind his ear. 
She was not used to seeing him off duty. 
“No thank you,” Elain said, scooching over on the leather loveseat to make room. “You can sit. If you want to.” 
Azriel smiled as he sat next to her. 
“Did you eat enough?” Azriel asked, nodding to her plate. 
“Yeah, I have a shoot this weekend, so I might grab some salad later if I get hungry.” Elain admitted, a guilty smile on her lips as she lifted her pizza to take a small bite, proving that she was in fact eating. She hoped Azriel couldn’t notice how deliberately slowly she chewed. 
“I guess we could have planned the housewarming party a little better,” Azriel said with a furrowed brow. “Given you a chance to settle in and actually unpack. But I think some people just wanted an excuse to party.” 
Elain nodded along, still working on the same bite. 
“It’s ok. It’s the thought that counts.” Elain smiled kindly. From the corner of her eye she could see everyone on the makeshift dance floor — Cassian had turned off the lights and turned on the decorative fairy lights that Feyre had put up as decorations. 
Her grin widened as she saw Varian toss Amren over his shoulder. Her tiny fists beating against his back. 
“Maybe we can do something next week? After this weekend, when's your next shoot?” Azriel asked, bringing up a slice of pepperoni pizza and taking a bite. Even though his focus was on his food, Elain knew he was listening to everything she said. 
“Not for a month, and that’s for jewelry. They shouldn’t use any full body shots. Hopefully, I won’t have to be upset at Past Elain for being wrong.” 
Azriel nodded along, listening intently, and once Elain thought he wasn’t going to respond he said, “Do you ever post candid pictures?”
“Huh?” Elain asked, jerking her chin at the same time she took another bite. A string of warm cheese landed on her chin. 
“On your Instagram? I was looking at it. Do you ever post non-profession photos?” Azriel asked, his hazel eyes looking at her and falling to the errant string of cheese. 
He brought one hand up and used a thumb to collect the food on her chin. 
Elain should have been horrified at the fact that Azriel had clean food off of her face, but her mind was caught up on the fact that Azriel looked at her Instagram. Had scrolled through it. Had noticed something about it. 
Her mind tumbled questions like clothes in a dryer. Did he like her feed? Elain checked just that morning and she hadn’t noticed any likes from him, but maybe they got lost in her notifications? It wasn’t unusual that someone looked at her Instagram, there were only a handful of people that had more followers than her, but he had deliberately sought her out — that had to mean something, right? And why bring it up? 
“Elain?” Azriel asked, bringing her face slightly closer to his. “Food coma?” 
“Huh?” Elain asked, dazed and breathless. 
“I asked if you were in a food coma.” Azriel said, his eyes light with amusement and he gently squeezed her chin between her fingers. 
“I don’t think so.”
For some reason, Azriel grinned. Showing off his dimple. 
He dropped his hand and reached to take his phone out of his pocket. 
“I asked about your Instagram because,” Azriel unlocked his phone and scrolled until he found what he wanted to show her. “I thought these might look nice.”
He tilted the screen so that she could see it, and Elain tried to blink away the white noise sounding in her head. 
It was a picture of her — artistically taken, but she was barefoot in the overalls she was wearing earlier and standing in her garden. She wanted to make sure that her flowers were in good shape before being taken over by the gardening her parents had hired. And the tulips were looking especially beautiful, so Elain had cut some to bring with her. They currently sat in a vase next to her bed.
In the picture she was holding an armful of white tulips, her braid messy and coming undone, and she was smiling brightly while dirt covered her hands and knees. 
How had Azriel even taken this picture without her noticing? 
“It’s lovely, Azriel,” Elain said, her eyes not straying from the picture. “Thank you.”
Eventually, Elain handed him back his phone. 
“Send it to me?” She asked somewhat nervously, even though he was the one that suggested she post the photo in the first place. “I’ll make sure to give you photo credit.”
She watched as he smiled into his phone, finding her contact information. 
Her phone buzzed at her side, somehow it had fallen into the cracks in the sofa, so she had to dig to look for it. 
Before opening up her messages Elain opened her camera. 
“Here,” She said, raising her arm for a selfie and leaning into Azriel's hard, warm chest. 
She didn’t have to finish her thought before Azriel wrapped an arm around her — snaking underneath the arm holding her phone up and placing his scarred hand over her collar bone, his fingers on the curve of her shoulder. A bit of his tattooed wrist peaking through his sleeve. 
He pulled her further into him. 
Elain quickly snapped a picture, completely thrown off kilter by his touch. Skin on skin contact with no latex gloves or denim coming between them. Not the delicate brush of his finger when he touched the sensitive skin behind her ear, but blatant, unrestricted touching. 
Her ears were ringing as she pulled away. 
“You don’t mind if I post that, do you?” Elain asked, her cheeks hot as she busied herself with her phone. 
“Of course not, but send it to me as well, please.” 
Elain smiled as she hit send. 
——
Like any other day, Elain started it by opening up her phone. Normally she would check her messages and then social media and then see if she got any new comments on the stories she posted anonymously online. 
She tried to blink herself awake when she saw the 20 texts from her mother. 
Mom: Is this why you moved out? 
Elain hesitated to click the link, somewhere in the back of her head her thoughts were scratching at her consciousness, urging and deluding herself. Her thumb hovered over the link for a second before clicking it with a cringe. 
MODEL SLUMMING IT WITH UNKNOWN — WHAT HAPPENED TO GRAYSEN? 
The Face has a new accessory, and not one of the Cartier’s she will be modeling in a much anticipated photo shoot. 
Elain Archeron posted this photo last night (or early in the morning), at 12:13am to be exact, of herself with an unknown man hanging all over her.
 Archeron, notoriously quiet about her private life, surprised millions of her fans with the picture, and has yet to like or respond to any of the comments questioning whether or not the man seen in the picture is her boyfriend. 
Her comment section is split between lewd comments over the unknown man pawing at her and lamentful grievances about Graysen Neilson, especially since the last thing we heard was that of an impending marriage between the couple. 
And really, we are left to wonder just what Elain was doing so late in the night with the handsome stranger. 
There were so many things to worry about, but for some reason Elain was caught up on the fact that they didn’t know who Azriel was. She tagged him, didn’t she? 
Elain ignored the messages from her mother, incapable of dealing with such a headache so early in the morning without yet having coffee, and scrolled to her Instagram. Her heart dropping as she saw that her picture had been liked over 600,000 times in just a few hours. 
She tapped her picture. 
Nothing. 
She tapped again, thinking it just hadn’t registered her touch. 
Still nothing. 
Elain didn’t bother looking at the comments. She copied a link and opened a new message. 
Elain: Is it ok if I tag you?
Elain: It's ok if you say no !! 
Elain: I thought I tagged you last night, but I think it slipped my mind. 
Elain: (P.S. I’m going to post the candid you took of me soon!! It’s just so pretty that I want to wait until the perfect moment :) )
She chewed on her lip, waiting for a response that never came. 
The door to her bedroom pushed open a few minutes later, and Nesta stood in the doorway. Her light brown hair messily piled on top of her head and she walked into the room with a cup of coffee in each hand. She offered one to Elain. 
“Mom called me three times and it’s not even 9:00 am yet. Good luck,” Nesta said, handing off the coffee and ruffling Elain’s hair. “I’m going shopping. If I see an At Home Lobotomy Kit I’ll pick it up for you.” 
“Thanks.” Elain mumbled, sipping her coffee. 
Her heart squeezed as her phone buzzed on the comforter. It squeezed again as she saw the name flash on her screen. 
Azriel: Go ahead, if you’re comfortable with it. People might dig into my past and my family. It’s fine if you don’t want that attached to your name. 
Azriel: P.S. You look really pretty. 
Elain: tagged you <3 
tagging: @123moiaussi @fuckmelifesucks @thefangirlofhp@sakurakittypeach @nikethestatue @tswaney17 @impossiblescissorspeachpaper @feyredarlinq@duskwhisperer @nyxreads @rinadragomir @secretpuppyflower@captainbrucebanner @ultadverb @irisesforelain @shedoessoshedoes  @magnolia-blossom87 @sheenabeene @nivem565  @casuallivi @rhysiedarling@elain99-blog @athena-85 @swankii-art-teacher @reverie-tales @jujugirlfrombookstore @shadowflorecita@shy-violet-soul @thisloveseternal
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lulubelle814 · 9 months ago
Text
Regards, Loki - Chapter 10
Master List
She woke up late the next day sneezing.  Thankfully there was cold medicine in her cabinet, and ready to heat soup in the fridge.  Rather than going back to bed, she curled up on the couch and started her favorite movie.
Loki: I just wanted to check in and see how it went?  You don’t have to say if you don’t want to.
Sigyn: It went as well as it could go, I suppose.  My friend’s brother loaned her his car, and she went with me.  We had a good chat, and I talked to mum for a bit before it started raining.
Loki: I’m glad she went with you.
Sigyn: Me, too.  I don’t think I could have done that by myself.
Loki: It’s a very hard thing to do.
Sigyn: My friend told me that she and mum kept in contact before she passed, trying to help figure out a plan to get me out.
Loki: Out?
She took a few slow, steady breaths before responding.
Sigyn: I was in an awful relationship.  He was kind and supportive when we first met, but he became so horrible, yelling and telling me I wasn’t good enough, that I was lucky to have him, controlling me, telling me what I could do.
Loki: I ought to find that hideous man and teach him a lesson or two.
Sigyn: I appreciate the sentiment.  I felt trapped, and I didn’t have the money to get my own place.  I didn’t want to ask Cora for help because she had her own things going on, but when mum passed, she left me a little money.  Cora helped me get away when he was gone one weekend, and I haven’t looked back.
Loki: I’m so glad to hear that, darling.  I really am.  If he ever does show his face, please tell me?
Sigyn: It’s been 2 years since then.  Thankfully, I haven’t seen him.
Loki: That’s good, but you must promise to tell me should that change.
Sigyn: I promise.
Loki: Thank you, dear.  You are too kind of a person to have to deal with someone as wretched as him.
Sigyn: I know I did the right thing.  I just wish I had the strength to do it sooner.
Loki: It’s ok.  The fact is that you found the courage to do what you needed.  That’s all that matters.
Louisa knew he was right.  It wasn’t fair to beat herself up about it.  The past can’t be changed.
Loki: On a happier note, how are you doing today?  Any plans?
She was glad for the change of topic.
Sigyn: I woke up sick from getting rain soaked yesterday.  So I’ve taken meds and am eating hot soup while watching my favorite movie.
Loki: I’m so sorry you’re sick.  I do hope you feel better soon.  What movie are you watching?
Sigyn: Labyrinth.
Loki: I don’t believe I’ve seen that one.
Sigyn: It’s so good!  It stars David Bowie as the goblin king, and Jennifer Connelly’s character has to go through his labyrinth maze to save her baby brother.
Loki: David Bowie?  I may have to look into it.
Sigyn: You should.  Speaking of which, how is your day?  Any weekend plans?  Please tell me you’re not working.
Loki: Ok.  I won’t tell you.
Sigyn: Loki!  You really need to learn the meaning of having a relaxing weekend.
Loki: I will take some time later today, but I’m trying to figure out this mystery at the office.
Sigyn: The one about the mismatched finances?
Loki: That’s the one.
Sigyn: You’ll figure it out.  Maybe you could bring in someone you trust to help you work on it?
Loki: That’s just it.  I’m wondering if someone in the company is embezzling which means I can’t trust anyone.
Sigyn: That’s horrible!  I don’t understand why someone would think it’s ok to do something like that.
Loki: Nor I.
Sigyn: Surely there’s 1 person you can trust?
Loki: I’m not sure, but I’ll think about it.  Nevermind about that.  You work on feeling better.
Sigyn: If there’s anything I can do to help, please tell me?  I know it would be breaking confidentiality, but you shouldn’t have to deal with this on your own.
Loki: I appreciate the offer, but I’d prefer if you focused on getting better.
They continued to text off and on throughout the day.  Louisa was glad to have the company without anyone actually being there.
When she woke up the next morning, she didn’t feel much better but couldn’t afford to take time off of work.  Well, technically she did, but her boss was such an asshole that it wasn’t worth taking the day off with the amount of shit he’d give her the next day.
It was still raining.  So rather than walking or taking the train, she treated herself to a cab.  Walking into the office, it was apparent to everyone that she was sick between her red nose and the sneezing.  
“Are you trying to get everyone sick?”  Of course.  She comes in anyways, and her boss is still an ass.  “No, sir, but I know there’s a lot of work to be done.”
“At the expense of infecting me and everyone else?  I think not.  Go home and don’t come back until you’re ready to not have everyone else suffer the same fate.”
There was no winning with him.  Rather than argue, she grabbed her bag and took a cab back home, spending the day on the couch with medicine and ordering pho for lunch.
Loki: How are you feeling today?  Better, I hope?
Sigyn: I wish.  I went in to work because my boss gives me so much shit when I’m out sick only for him to still give me shit for coming in.  Told me to come back when I wouldn't inflict this on him and everyone else.
Loki: While he’s right, that could have been handled much better.  You do need to take a day or two to take care of yourself.  
Sigyn: And he’ll give me more shit when I go back.
Loki: Best to put it off an additional day and wait to go back until at least Wednesday.
Sigyn: You’re right.
Loki: Yes, I am.  I’m sorry you have to deal with another wretched man.
Sigyn: It’s ok.  It could be worse.
Loki: But it could be better.  Have you thought of looking for a new job?
Sigyn: My friend, let's call her Frigga,  said something similar.  My anxiety just can’t handle the whole looking for a new job process with revising my CV and then the interviewing.
Loki: If you decide to look for a new position, let me know.  I can give you some interview prep questions to help you prepare.
Sigyn: I really appreciate that.
Loki: Of course.
Using Loki’s suggestion, she waited until Wednesday to go back to the office, even though she was feeling a bit better on Tuesday.  As predicted, Mr. Price gave her so much shit.  By the time Friday night came around, she was frazzled.  Cora knew she needed to get out of her head and have some fun.  So she showed up at her door and practically dragged her out to the club for some dancing.  Louisa didn’t want to go but decided to seize the first opportunity she got to leave.
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sonyadance · 10 months ago
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Travels and Dancing 20
I like writing these.  They calm my nervous system down, help me figure out what the heck happened, because, damn life happens!  Some people tell me that that’s what my next book should be about: travels and dancing.  I agree, I want it also, but it’s not there.  I’ve tried many times to write a book and the only one that actually came out all the way to publishing is the one that had a clear structure, direction and just basically got vomited through my fingers.  A bit like when I write these texts… but these are like a glorified journal, not interesting enough to publish for the world to see.  Actually… for the world to buy.
I’m so happy with where I’ve come from in the last year and where I’m going, but, as always, I have to pace myself better: the new year barely started and I’m exhausted.  I have one day off in two months.  I don’t think that’s healthy… so reorganization is on the table.  Everything I hated before, I now understand how it serves me.  Having a routine allows me to spend less time finding where everything is and just going; having structure gives me the freedom to move, build and create.  There is definitely more work to do in those areas, but going from feeling the ick in my body just hearing those words (routine, daily, structure, authority, Québec, family) to wanting them.  Wow.  Path in my own back.
We did another iteration of Le Chalet wcs with Phil and Flore in August of last year.  I love these two so much.  As always, I was really slow in understanding that they wanted my friendship, they reached out so many times before my brain actually went: oh, ok, they want to be friends, they are friends.  They are amazing people, aligned in their values, hardworking, a beautiful example to have around.  And I know things are probably not always pink and fluffy for them, but if you read this: you inspire me to be a better person, and that having a family, being stable and dancing can all go hand in hand.  I love you.
Le Chalet was amazing as always: 35 people sleeping in the same house, eating together, training, dancing, playing games, sharing.  It’s definitely one of my favorite weekend of the year.  I love seeing how the community grows stronger by people having time to share more intimately, play and just sharing the same space.  This is definitely something that we’ll keep holding as long as possible!
Then it was the Country Festival of St-Michel-des-Saints.  Me and two of my best friend in this world drove there, rented a little cottage, cooked, ate, drank, danced into the night and partied at the Festival.  An honorable mention for your host who won the title of Mechanical Bull Queen of the festival!  What did I win?  Pride.  Lots of it.  Bruises.  Even more of it.  A bit of bleeding and shaky leg (where not going there).  Was it worth it?  100% would recommend.  100% won’t do it again.  We found the party with the line dancer and I don’t know if it was the euphoria of the whole thing, but I got carried into it for the first time in my life.  If you’ve seen me at events, I’ve been mostly on the side of the dancefloor for all line dance type things…  I has a blast there!  Maybe it was the weekend I had spent at the Calgary Dance Stampede in April, seeing videos of my then roommate Mackenzie Keister, who made it look really cool, but it made me want to do country.  Something might be brewing on that front. ;-)
September was for training and resetting.  Anybody knows Noah Kahan?  I discovered him when he released the Stick Season single and fell in love.  I had just bought my first car ever and listened to that tune non-stop while driving in BC.  I would go for cold dips in the morning as the sun would rise and blast it.  I honestly think this whole album helped me re-acclimate to Québec, which wasn’t my first choice of place to settle, but has so many of the people I love.  The melancholy of it.  Making winter, slowness and boredom feel attractive through the poetry of it all.  Sincerely, thank you Noah.  So last summer, as I was driving to Halifax for a contract with a student and friend of mine, I played Noah’s album over and over and mentioned that this is the one artist I would love to go see live.  My student found tickets for Toronto and there we were screaming our heads off at the Budweiser Stage in Toronto a couple months later.  Probably the best concert I’ve been to in my life (ok, I really have been to like 5 concerts ever, but still…)  I’m so happy for that memory before the tickets became 400$+.
I then drove to Sherbrooke to give a teacher’s training and a couple workshops.  Gosh, I love my job.  I love teaching so much.  Some dancers I know do it because it’s the part that pays the most, but, for me, it’s the best part!  Anything I do, I do it in the frame of mind of teaching it, if I don’t, I lose interest real fast.  Teacher’s training are the summit: passionate people who are interested in details and want to ingest as much information as possible to then share it with their world?  Gold.
I had a weekend home so I invited my new dancer partner to practice and actually meet.  Oh yeah, I didn’t tell you.  One day, I saw a video of a baby novice dancer and said to myself: I don’t know who that is, but he’s mine before he gets to All-Star and people finally realize that he’s as good as I know he is.  I then proceeded to stalk him (in a totally legal and respectful manner) and ask him if he was available for a call.  I told him what I saw in him, he told me his story and he planned to come up for two days.  Then in a fun turn of events, I happened to have to move that weekend.  So hi Aaron, nice to meet you, here’s half my family and thanks for moving my mattress and underwear and sleeping on a mattress on the floor in a half empty apartment with me.  Great introduction.  We had a blast anyway, sharing, constructing plans and trying liftwork for a potential routine.  The weekend after, I was in Austin to choreograph for us with Glenn Ball.  I love choreographing and I am always drawn to share a story I’ve created or seem important to share, and we needed a leader that knew more about swing.  It was a whirlwind of a weekend with awesome people having me over, a few games of laser tag, riding in my dream car (black mustang) and being dragged to a country evening… which also re-kindled/re-confirmed the country love affair!
Then came, one of the craziest thing I’ve ever done: registering for a pole competition after being grounded (literally, not flying… with apparatus, I still took the plane) because of a shoulder injury, having health problem that got me bedridden for a couple of months, basically being in the worse shape of my life.  I registered mid-august, so I had two months to choreograph, train, get in pole shape, create the music, and order costumes.  At the time, I also thought that I didn’t have a partner for The Open so it was going to give me the motivation to train for something else, but I ended up having two partners and creating two dance routines at the same time, finding and cutting music, getting costumes for that and trying to find travel time to meet my partners.
To my surprise, I won.  I didn’t even have a competitive goal in mind.  What I wanted to do was present something that was so clear that it gave me a business cards to get gigs with other polers.  I don’t need to become world pole champion, I want to help people who have so much more abilities and/or fire than me, create a routine that resembles them, has smooth transition and is sound.  I didn’t manage to run my full until the day before.  I rented an extra studio hour in Toronto and succeeded once.  Perfect, ready to go.  I told myself that a lot of things could go wrong with a pole routine (dealing with different poles, slipping, speed of rotation, angles, height, distance between poles, angles on static), but that I knew my routine, my song, my theme and myself enough, that I could make it work and present a show that I’d be proud of.  After 2m on stage to rehearse… which means you don’t have your music, you don’t get to run the whole thing, there are 3 other people on stage with you… I went on to do make-up, watch other performance, wait and finally get on stage.  It felt so good.  Pole audiences are normally very loud, but during half of my performance there was not a sound to be heard.  Which can be a really good or really bad thing.  I was so proud.  People came to me after to tell me I’ve touched them and that they heard my story and that’s all I needed.
For those who haven’t seen that routine:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PFKdHvSUKU&t=14s
Montreal Westie Fest came around.  The hometown event where I always felt welcomed, loved and seen no matter where I was coming from at the time.  Stephen came in town so we could choreograph and we won the pro strictly.  I hadn’t felt that good dancing in a competition in a long time.  That also felt like home.  We know each other so well, it just flows.  I had an awesome lumber jack and jill where you are randomly paired with different levels and performing battle style.  I drew Alex Glover who reminded me he did his first pro-am jack and jill (actually the winner of novices got to dance with a pro) at Montreal Westie Fest a few years back and now we were dancing together and we were sitting side by side as he was competing in the pro strictly as well.  I love full circle moments like that, they feel so warm and fulfilling.
Vidéo of Stephen and I:
youtube
Calgary was next and what a freaking weekend!  I got there a couple of days early to meet my best friend Kim who moved to BC a couple years ago.  We rented a hotel, roamed around, bought cowboy hats, and went totally berserk in the hotel pool.  Then I met Nelson at the event hotel and some of the shenanigans we got up to that weekend are definitely not shareable through this media.  All I can tell you is that there are videos of it and that most people thought I was drunk off my ass, but I actually had two glasses of wine in the entire weekend.  One of my great idea was to get inflatable costumes to do a two-steps before the real presentation.  I forgot to mention, it was Halloween weekend.  So Nelson and I got into these giant pig costumes, blew them up and went down for the show.  As we started, I realized that we hadn’t tried dancing at all in them and that every time my arm was lifted for a turn (and it is often in a two-steps) I couldn’t see anything; that every time a wrap happened (and it happens often in a two-step) it would squish my whole body and bounce me back out.  Then my costume started to deflate, the pomp dangling down my leg and… let me tell you it was the worse or the best demo you’ve ever seen.  It all depends on perspective.
I was home for a weekend after that (halleluiah!)  So I decided to do a house warming party in my new apartment: after all, one of the reasons to have a home is to be able to have people over, no?  I invited my closest friends and family with all their kids… and this stranger I had talked to online a few months ago.  I’ll explain.  I created an account on Hinge to show guys profile to my brother as I was talking from a woman perspective what I found interesting and might catch my eyes.  I kept it to swipe left on everybody when I was bored at night and feel better about myself with all the likes coming in.  For some unknown reason to this day, I swiped right on this guy’s profile, then forgot about it because I was never going to talk to him, but then he wrote again.  We talked for three weeks (I was always out of Montreal), it was easy and nice, but after some thoughts, I realized I still wasn’t ready to meet anybody after the disaster of my last relationship.  I told him so and expected to be told off.  Instead he sent me a really nice message with his number for if I wanted to contact him in the future.  Long story short, I meet him by chance in September, we talk for 5m, and I tell him it was really nice to meet him, that I’d like to meet again in a couple months.  Fast forward to October, we’ve texted a bit, I finally have my own apartment, my life is getting settled, I feel ready, so yeah, I invited him to my house warming party with a bunch of strangers (to him).  He came.  The rest will have to go inside of another story book, but we’ve now met most of each other’s family and friends, spent the holidays together and he’s coming on a dance cruise with me in May.
Back to our initial topic: dance.  As a last minute decision to get some time to rehearse with Stephen before The Open, I flew to Seattle to spend a few days at his place, meet his lovely life partner, rehearse like maniacs, chill and head to Sea to Sky.  Sea to Sky was a really relaxed event for me, which I’m not really use to: I didn’t have workshops to teach, no judging, just a few privates, rehearsals with Stephen, floor trial and performance after a grand total of a few hours over 5 days of training for that routine.  I’d say it went pretty well for the context.  It gave us the information we needed to know what to adjust before the big day… in our head because we could only meet on the Thursday of The Open. Loll.  You got to love the rush!
I went home for 36h (had a glass of wine with mystery Hinge man) and left for Philadelphia to train with Aaron.  We had a few hours between workshops I gave, private lessons we both had, leaving for DCSX where we had some coaching down, I taught some more, judged a few comps, competed and finaled in Champion JnJ and Strictly.  We also had the opportunity to see a basketball match live in the VIP section.  Freaking loved it (also sent tons of videos to mystery man who loves basketball)!
And there it was, the most expected weekend of the year for most of us: The Open.  After consulting with friends I trust and having hard discussions, we decided to scratch the showcase routine with Aaron.  My friends basically told me: you were right he’s extremely talented, you could run it, but your routine is not quite ready yet and it’d be better to leave a great first impression than an ok one.  Aaron was glad to also have a first year at The Open to be an observer soak in the vibe and feel more ready for when the moment will be right.  Stephen and I performed in Classic on Saturday.  I say performed and not competed because our intention was wildly different.  Not only we knew that a total of maybe 14 hours (with many curve balls thrown at us), was not quite enough to do something highly competitive, but also because we wanted to present something that was us.  A feel good routine.  Something you want to watch with a hot cocoa, wrapped in a big blanket.  A window into some other people’s inner world.  And we did just that.  I’m really proud of the results and especially proud of the fact that it inspired other artists around us and, for me, that’s one of the highest compliment… along with people writing me that it was their young kids’ favorite routine!!!
Stephen and I’s routine:
youtube
We rented a huge Airbnb by the beach with Stephen, Jacinda, Aaron, Brad, Jerome, Alyssa and Sean to get some rest and reset before TAP.  How did I rest?  By going to a silks` class, copying cabaret liftwork with Aaron and partying for Alyssa’s birthday.  It started all nice and fun until a party bus was called at 11pm and we got taken to a random karaoke bar and… the next day was hard.  Just thinking about it, I’m getting tired.  Another honorable mention for me who traumatized the young adult boy partying next door.
TAP came along and I did the classic mistake I often do: party like an animal and stay on the dancefloor until 6am on the Friday because I’m so excited to be there and then be completely trash for the Saturday night. A classic, loll.  I have to admit I was really sad about not making finals and being able to dance with my peers in strictly.  I don’t know why, but TAP is the only event that gives me that feeling: it’s like being left out.  I did have the chance to do a smooth demo with Joel Torgeson for the Invitational.  I also took a few privates which triggered some fire and interest in me that I hadn’t felt in a while.
I came back to Montreal on the 5th of December and got my wisdom teeth removed the next day.  Never too old to get wise!  NO, but seriously, the entire month of November, while I was in the States and gearing towards The Open, I had a tooth infection, got some antibiotics that knocked me out and was just in pain the whole time.  The extraction went really poorly, I had to take two sets of antibiotics, my jaw was so locked I couldn’t open my mouth, I couldn’t eat, I’m allergic to all anti-inflammatories so I was in pain, I couldn’t eat for a week, couldn’t work for two… it was a mess.  All the while mystery man came over (there is a specific reason I manage to swallow my pride and let him see me like this so early on, but I won’t get into it now) petted my hair while holding an ice pack in my face and talking to me for two hours since I couldn’t speak.  That’ll accelerate the bonding process…
Besides that mess to end 2023 kind of how it started, I had a great holiday season, got to see my friends and my family in Montreal, went to a fun chalet for the New Year (first year in a long time that I’m not working an event at that time, it felt kind of nice!) and spend quality time with everybody before my crazy winter schedule started.  I am now teaching every evening between pole dancing, aerial art, yoga, wcs group and private lessons of different levels at different locations, and I am gone most every weekends for different gigs.  I already miss seeing my people.  Once everything is settled and my life has a bit more of a rebuilt, I will free at least a weekend a month and an evening a week so I can have a social life with “normal” people. ;-)
I’m excited for what’s to come, but I also need a solid nap and some healthy food.  Help!
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aajjks · 11 months ago
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*bunny!noona goes and picks up her son after school* hey baby, how was school? i have a surprise! mommy took the next two week off so i can stay with you! yes baby, mommy is going to e with you your whole vacation! we can put the christmas tree up tomorrow, does that sound nice? you made a christmas ornament? can mommy see? oh baby…is that you and me? it’s beautiful buddy..
*noona notices that noah didn’t add jungkook to the painting of their little family. although jungkook hasn’t been a very active father recently, let alone husband.. him and their son use to have a very special bond.. jungkook was the perfect husband and father. everything they did, was together. the spent weekends at the park, made dinner together, movie nights and important thing. everything was perfect.. that was until jungkook got a new job, a job noona didn’t know much about. for a while after he became a full time employee, everything was perfect. she cut back from a full time job to a part time clothing store so she could drop off and pick up their baby boy as he started kindergarten. jungkook would come home the same time and spend the rest of the day bonding with his family. seven months after starting his job, he slowly stopped coming home on time, no longer no more playing with his son, no longer slept in the bed with noona, there was no more reading to his son before tucking him into bed, there was no more making love to his wife at night, everything just stopped. after noona was turned down every time she were to ask jungkook if he was okay or suggest couples therapy.. she gave up.. she no longer has anymore fight left in her heart when she sees how much jungkooks absence has affected their son.. so noona started making a plan..*
hey noah, mommy went and talked to the lawyer today, the one that’s going to help you and mommy leave daddy.. how much longer? well i don’t know baby, mommy’s is saving up her money. i was looking at apartments today, i think i found a great one for you and me. you’ll still have your own room and mommy will have hers but the living room is huge. ill take you this weekend and i’ll see what you think okay? if you like it mommy with put the money down for it. uh oh.. daddy’s already home? that’s unusual.. okay baby listen. these papers right here are the papers daddy can’t see okay? theses are the divorce papers mommy has to fill out. mommy is going to fill these out soon but i need to hide them until daddy isn’t around mommy. i’ll probably do it tonight, i’ll put them in my room somewhere since daddy has been sleeping on the couch.. i’ll just put them in my purse for right now.. i need you to promise me you won’t tell daddy about us going to see the apartments this weekend. pink promise? good. okay, grab your bag and let’s go in yeah?
you’re home early, normally you don’t come in until 12 at night, everything okay? hm, okay. well noah, baby, go unwind a little bit while mommy makes you and i dinner. chicken strips, friends, and maybe.. cookies for dessert sound good? you really are my baby.. i love you. now go on, i’ll call you down. no i don’t want help, i just want to get this done so i can get him ready for our movie night. no, he’s out of school for the next week or so for christmas. well you took the living room over so we’ve been having our movie nights in my room. you have work tomorrow and he’s really excited so he’ll probably be up for a long time tonight so i’ll make sure he keeps it down. jungkook, i need the counter, move you papers to the dinner table or something.
“Noona… he’s already going to sleep?? OK well do you need help? I could!!!! But what’s wrong with you? After so long I finally got to come home early… work has been hectic to say the least.. but I did miss you and Noah a lot.. can I have some dinner too I’m pretty hungry? So.? I’m sorry I know about the movie nights… what if we have a movie night tomorrow? I’m free actually it’s holiday season so I got a few days off… and I’m planning to spend them with you and our son, of course- no I don’t have work tomorrow, but I don’t need to finish these papers.. but I can always do the later go and spend some time with Noah? I miss him a lot! And can I sleep in the bedroom tonight?”
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andydrysdalerogers · 2 years ago
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Following Team Orders - Montreal
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Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Olivia Williams
Summary: Olivia Williams is Formula One royalty. Her father is a racing legend and all Liv wants is to be one of only six women in the world to have raced in the most elite racing division in the world. When she finally gets the chance, she has to not only take on a male dominated sport, but her past, her teammate and a life beyond the track that she was not ready for. She just has to follow team orders but what happens when one man challenges her on and off the racing line...
Word Count: 2.2K
Warnings: A-N-G-S-T!!! eventual smut, slow burn, enemies to lovers, love triangle (if you squint) misogamy, fluff, racing accidents, an asshole Steve Rogers (you'll see what i mean)
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Series MasterList - Main Masterlist
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“I just don’t get it.”
“Get what?”
“You take the turn, but you want to slide? Won’t you hit the wall?”
“Not if you time it just right.”
“Liv, it's impossible.”
“Stevie, it's not.  I’ve done it.”
“You’ve done the drop at Laguna”?
“Yep, 10 stories in 3 seconds without hitting the wall at the top.”
Steve shook his head as they walked to the trailers. “I don’t believe you.”
“Wow,” Liv took a sip from her water bottle. “That’s rude.”
“It is not.  Livie, the bike would slip.”
“Ok. Fine, don’t believe me”. She sat a table and started eating her salad.  Steve sat across from her and gave her a look.
“Ok, prove it.”
Liv grinned as she pulled out her phone and looked up the video.  She played it for Steve and his mouth dropped as he watched her race around the Laguna Seca raceway. “Told ya.”
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“I’ve always wanted to race there. Wow, just, that’s amazing.”
“It’s a thrill.  Would like to try it in a car.” Liv took a bite, moaning quietly.  “So good.”
Steve flushed at hearing her little moan. “Doll, you can’t do that,” he whispered.
“What?”  She batted her eyelashes, playing innocent.  Steve chuckled.
“You are a dangerous woman.  Behave, I beg of you.”
“Spoil sport.” She laughed and they went back to talking about the track as Bucky, Frank, Charles and Johnny approached.
“This is new,” Johnny commented as he took a seat next to Liv. He looked at the both of them and pointed.  “Don’t you guys hate each other?”
“I don’t hate him,” Liv said. “I didn’t like him but never hate. Hate is too strong of a word.  Loathe, maybe, punchable; that’s a good one.”  She gave him a cheeky grin.
“Shut up,” Steve replied, pointing his fork at her.  He turned to the guys.  “We had a minor disagreement is all. Difference of opinions.”
“Minor, my ass.  More like the battle of the sexes.” Johnny snorted.  “Ow!” He rubbed his arm where Liv smacked him.  “Jesus, woman! You’re gonna leave a bruise!”
“Don’t be such a pussy, Storm. You’re lucky that’s all I’m leaving,” Liv retorted.  “Could’ve left my racing boot up your ass.”
He threw an arm around her. “I love it when you talk dirty to me.”
“Ew! Johnny! What are you even doing here?” She shoved his arm off.
“Just enjoying time with my fellow drivers.  Right Charles?”
Charles flushed slightly. “Yes, of course.  Was also checking on you, Olivia, as you were quiet last weekend in Baku.”
Baku. Well, that is where Steve and Liv had hidden away, talking to each other. He got to know her, she got to know him, but they wanted to keep their plan secret.  So, they hid away, just enjoying each other’s company, holding hands.  After their weekend, they spoke almost every day, if only to say hi. It was where Liv had to make the decision about Charles.
“I just needed to reset,” Liv explained.  “Actually, Charles, can I talk to you?  In private?” Her eyes darted around the table.
“Of course.”  He got up and took Liv’s hand, placing it in the crook of his arm. They walked away out of earshot.
“Wonder what that’s all about?” Bucky asked stealing a fry from Steve’s plate.
“No idea,” Frank said, watching them walk away.  He turned back to Steve.  “So, Rogers, why are you so friendly now with Bug?”
Steve shrugged.  “We talked during the gala, and I realized how much of an ass I was being.  So, we made a pact to get to know each other and try and be friends.  Turns out, she’s funny and sarcastic.  She’s also a daredevil.  She showed me the video in Monterey.”
“Oh, yeah, the death drop at Laguna.”  Frank laughed.  “First time her mother saw that, she smacked David round the head, yelling it was his fault.”  The men chuckled just as Olivia came back.  She wiped her eyes and sat down, playing with her food. “Bug? You ok?”
“Yeah, I just, umm, told Charles that I wasn’t looking for a relationship right now and that I wanted to stay as friends.  He was a gentleman, but I could see the hurt in his eyes.  Didn’t mean to string him along.” She glanced at Steve but looked away quickly.
“Bug, its ok,” Bucky said as he wrapped an arm around her. “You are a good person and you were honest with him as soon as you realized what was happening. Not many people would do that.”
“He’s right Liv.” Steve offered a smile, but he could see she was retreating into herself. She wasn’t a selfish person so hurting Charles took a toll.
“I’m going to call my dad.  I’ll talk to you guys later.”  She got up and headed to her trailer.  She laid on her camp bed and called but he didn’t answer.  Not unusual so she didn’t let it bother her.  A knock on the door brings her back from her thoughts. “Yes?”
“Its Steve.”
She opens the door and lets him in.  “Did you need something?”
“Just checking on you.”
“Checking to make sure that I don’t give you the brush off too?” She laid back on the bed, facing him
“Livie, hey, that’s not fair.” Steve sat on the floor in front of her camp bed. He brushed away her hair from her face. “I know where we stand and I would wait for forever for you, ok?” She nodded but he could tell that she was still worried.  “You know, the reason why I was so standoffish before wasn’t because of you. You threw me for a loop, sure but it wasn’t you.”
“Why?”
“Had a girlfriend before, Sharon.  She was, at least I thought, the love of my life.  Been together since college. But then one day she said she couldn’t hack it, me being on the road so much.  Said she was tired of waiting for me and that unless I quit, we were through.  Bucky and I packed my stuff from her flat the next day.”
“But you loved her?”
“I thought I did. But I loved the idea of her. But when she gave me her ultimatum…,” he sighed. “I don’t like being bullied into things. She liked to make herself look better than me because she was a lawyer. But as a person, I realized she was awful.”
“I understand that.  I mean, Ransom, Hugh, he changed as well. Here I was, mousy Liv, and he had a full platter of females that he could bang.” She looked away.
“It’s his loss, Livie. Because I don’t see mousy Liv.” He tilted her chin so she would turn back to him.  “I see beautiful, strong, amazing Olivia. My doll.”
Liv could see a flash of lust in his ocean blues, and she swallowed. She went to lean up to him, seeing him lean towards her and closed her eyes.  They almost touched when a knock on the door stopped them.
“Liv, its Frank.  We have to get ready for qualifying.  You too Rogers!”
“He has the worst timing,” Liv said, laying back down.  “Come in Frank!”
Frank walked in with a smirk, expecting to see them in a compromising position but frowned when he saw Liv, looking at the ceiling and Steve looking at his hands. “Everything ok?”
“Yeah, just talking.” She offered a smile.  “Thanks Stevie.”
“Any time, doll.”
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Montreal is beautiful at the beginning of summer and makes for great racing.  The grand prix is half way through when a call comes through from Barton to Andy.  Andy picks up, making sure his mic was off. He listens and his face falls, capturing the attention of Sam and Bucky.  He hangs up and looks down with a sigh.  “Guys, make sure we are off channel to the drivers.” They huddle quickly together and both men nod as Andy speaks.  As soon as he is done, he goes to Frank and pulls him aside, Frank’s face falling as Andy delivers news.
FIA officials make a quick decision but advise the team principles and managers that no announcement to the drivers will be made.  They finish the race and as Steve comes around to take the win, Sam comes on the radio.  “Excellent job Steve.  Pull into P1 and park. Please be advised that the podium ceremony is cancelled.”
“What’s going on Sam?”
“I’ll tell you when you’re out of the car.”
Steve pulled in and parked but there was no celebration.  Sam walked over and gave him a handshake. “Some news came through during the race.”  He kept talking as Steve looked back at Olivia.
Olivia pulled in having finished sixth.  She climbed out as Bucky, Andy and Frank walked over. “Hey!”
“Great job Bug,” Andy said with a subdue tone.
“Ok, your face doesn’t match that sentence,” she said with a laugh.  She saw the look on their faces and her smile dropped.  “What’s wrong?”
Andy took a deep breath.  “Bug, we got a call during the race.  Your father was outside yesterday, cleaning the yard and he collapsed.”
Liv furrowed her brow. “Collapsed? I don’t understand.”
“He was unconscious, Liv. Your mother rushed him to the hospital but…”
“But what? Is he ok?” Liv’s eyes shifted to each person. “Do I need to leave? Is there a car waiting to take me to the airport?”
Frank took his best friend’s hands.  “I’m so sorry Livie, but David had a massive heart attack. They did everything but he didn’t make it.”
“No.  Don’t say that, Frankie.” Liv’s eyes began to fill.  “Don’t say that; he’s fine. My daddy is fine.”
“Bug, I’m so, so sorry,” he pulled her in for a hug, but she pushed Frank away.  She looked around and saw that everyone was looking at her. Even Ransom had a look of sadness across his usually smug face.  A general public announcement was being made that David Williams, legend of Formula One, had died.  She turned and ran through the crowd.
“Olivia! Shit, we have to find her,” Andy said.  He went to his other driver.  “You ok?”
Steve ran a hand over his face. “Yeah, I mean, shit, this is awful.  Where did Olivia go?”
“She ran.  I should have pulled her into the office, but the officials were going to make an announcement and I… I fucked that up.”
“Boss, she’s not in her trailer or anywhere else,” Bucky said, breathlessly.  “We can’t find her.”
“Alright. Rogers, do your post-race thing.  The rest of us, closed the cars and then let’s search for Olivia.”
Steve does his weigh in but is relieved when he is told that interviews are put off in light of the missing Olivia.  He heads over to the garages where Andy is making calls.  “Steve, we can’t find her.  I’ve looked everywhere but no one can find her.”
Steve thinks back to Australia and her hiding spot. “I think I might know where she is.  Give me 10.”  Andy nods as Steve walks back to the paddock.  He makes sure no one is looking when he climbs up to the loft.  And see a sobbing Olivia in the far corner.  “Oh doll.”
Liv looks up and sees him, wipes her eyes.  “Why is it every time you find me here, I’m crying?”
“Dunno Liv.”  He hoists himself in and lays down next to her. “Everyone is looking for you.”
“I… I just didn’t want people to look at me.  The reporters and fans.” A fresh set of tears falls, and Steve pulls her into his arms as her body is racked with sobs.  “He’s gone,” she cries.
“I know baby, I know.” Steve runs a hand through her hair, giving her comfort as she cries.
“He’ll never know.  He’ll never know when I finally win a race or when I finally found someone who loves me or if I start a family.  He won’t be there.” Liv screws her eyes shut, the pain in heart so great.
“He’ll know, doll.  He’ll know that you’ve done everything you’ve dreamed of because he’ll be right beside you.”  He kissed the top of her head and rocked her until she calmed. As he held her, his heart broke for her. He had lost his father when he was a baby, so he didn’t have a chance to know him.  He still has his ma, but he had no idea what it was like to lose a parent.  He understood they had been close. David was his daughter’s true best friend and now he was gone. After a while, he looked down to see she had fallen asleep next to him.  He carefully pulled his phone out.
S: found her
A: Thank god.  Is she ok?
S: She’s asleep, but she’s heartbroken.
A: Where are you?
S: Her secret spot. Don’t worry, she’s still in the paddock.
A: Need help?
S: just to clear the area.  She doesn’t want to be seen like this.
A: understood.  Give me 10.
As soon as Steve got all clear, he carefully pulled Olivia from the loft and brought her down in his arms.  He carried her to her trailer and laid her down, pulling a blanket over her. “I’ll always be here for you, doll.” He kissed her forehead and settled in the chair in the corner of the trailer to watch over her and fell asleep.  That’s where Andy and Frank found them an hour or so later.  Andy relieved that they were ok and Frank happy that Liv found a kindred spirit.
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canirove · 2 years ago
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I don’t like you, Mason Mount | Chapter 12
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“Dani, there is someone at the door asking for you.”
“Me?”
“Yep” my sister says.
“Who?”
“You have to go and see for yourself.”
“I don’t like the way that sounds, Monica.”
“Just go, auntie. Please” Lola says next to her.
“Ok, then” I sigh, putting away the book I was reading. “But I swear, if this is a trap…”
“Hello, Daniela.”
“No. No, no, no.”
“Just listen to him.”
“Please, auntie” Lola pouts.
“I hate you all. All of you” I say, pointing first at Lola, then at my sister and then… Then at Mason.
“We’ll leave you alone” Monica says, she and Lola disappearing into the kitchen.
“Speak.”
“I’ve broken up with my girlfriend.”
“Yeah, sure” I snort.
“I have. And I am going to make it official. Right now” he says, taking his phone from his pocket and starting to type something.
“What… What are you doing?”
“Making it official” he says, showing me his phone. “Will this story be enough, or do I need to also make a post and tweet about it?”
“I… I think that’ll be enough.”
“Good. It is live now.”
“Do you want me to congratulate you for it or something? It was just posting a story, anyone can do it.”
“Yeah” he chuckles. “Anyway, that was all. Enjoy the summer, Daniela.”
“Are you… are you leaving?”
“I have training session in an hour, this weekend is our last game. You guys are invited if you want to come.”
“I’ll pass.”
“Still. I’ve reserved tickets for your family, they can go if they want.”
“Thank you, Mason” I mutter.
“Goodbye, Daniela.”
“Bye.”
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━
“Dani, where are you going?”
“To the beach. It looks like the sunset today will be breathtaking.”
“You are so lame” Monica laughs.
“It isn’t lame” my dad says. “Your mum and I loved watching the sunset together. We actually shared our first kiss watching the sunset back home.”
“Aww, dad. You had never told us that story.”
“You never asked” he shrugs.
“Now I want to know more” I say.
“I’ll tell you all the details later while we have dinner. What do you say?”
“That sounds like a plan. Dani?” my sister asks me.
“Yeah, sure. I won’t be gone for too long, I promise.”
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“Maybe I am a bit lame” I laugh to myself while I take another photo of the sunset.
This was the first time I had managed to walk down to the beach since we had arrived in Portugal for our holidays. Going there made me think of what happened the previous year. Of Mason. And I was here to disconnect, not to keep thinking about him.
After his visit to show me that this time it was real, that he had broken up with his girlfriend, we hadn’t seen each other again. And I hadn’t heard from him either. He had gone silent on Instagram, probably to focus on the few games he had left with Chelsea and the national team, and avoid all the drama his ex was creating online. She kept doing Instagram lives answering fans questions, saying that she still loved him and that if they had broken up, it was because of a third person. Had Mason told her about me?
“That’s a beautiful sunset, isn’t it?”
“It was until you showed up” I manage to say, my heart beating so fast I fear it may break my chest.
“Glad to know mean Daniela still is with us.”
“You are my favourite victim, Mason. I can’t help it” I shrug, turning around to look at him. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m on holidays with my family. They loved this place last year.”
“And here at the beach? Did my sister tell you I was coming?”
“What? No, no. I’ve actually been coming here every day expecting to see you” he says with a shy smile, his dimple showing. Dear God, I had miss it so much.
“You… You have?”
“Yeah, I have. Which is something lame to do, not taking photos of the sunset.”
“It is a bit lame, yes” I chuckle.
“But I wanted to see you again. To talk with you.”
“About what? I’m pretty sure we have already said everything that is to be said.”
“We haven’t. Or at least, I haven’t. Because in case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve fallen in love with you. I seriously don’t know how or even why, especially keeping in mind that since the moment we met you’ve only been a mean bitch to me” he laughs. “But it has happened. I’m in love with you, Daniela. I love you.”
“Mason, I…”
“I know I’ve hurt you and that it probably is too late. That you’ve moved on. But I had to say it. I needed to say it aloud to someone who wasn’t Dec or my siblings. I needed to tell you.”
“Wait, everyone knows?”
“Yeah…” he says, scratching the back of his head. “I’ve apparently been a miserable shit for the past few months, they were worried about me, and I had to tell them. Anyway, that was all. I just wanted you to know, and I understand if now you don’t want to see me again.”
“I…” I’m frozen in place. I don’t know what to do. What to say. He is in love with me. He loves me. Mason… he loves me.
“Goodbye, Daniela” he says, starting to walk away.
“Wait, what?” I say, watching him leave. “Mason… Mason!” I call. But he doesn’t listen, he just keeps walking. “Mason… Mason Tony Mount!”
“You know my full name? That’s new” he says, still walking.
“Bloody hell…” I murmur. “Mason, can you please wait!” I say, running towards him. “Mason, I love you!”
“You what?” he says, suddenly stopping and making me crash against his back. “You... what are you doing down there?”
“I don’t know, I just fancied sitting down on the sand for a bit.”
“You did?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Of course I didn’t, you idiot. I fell when I crashed against you. Are you gonna help me get up or not?”
“Yeah, yeah” he says, offering me his hand. The moment I’m up, he grabs me by the waist, pulling me closer to him. “What were you saying before you almost broke my back in half?”
“Before I did what? Who is the one who ended up on the floor?” I say, my eyes fixed on the way my hands are resting on his chest.
“Ok, fine. It was my fault. But what did you say?”
“I can’t remember.”
“Dani…”
“Don’t call me that, you haven’t earned it. Yet.”
“Yet? Does that mean that I am close to it?”
“Maybe” I shrug.
“Interesting… But are you going to repeat what you said earlier or not?” he says, pulling me a bit closer to him.
“I… I said…”
“Yes…”
“I love you” I whisper, my eyes still fixed on my fingers.
“I didn’t hear you” he says, moving one of his hands to my chin, making me look at him. He is trying really hard not to smile, and as always, I get distracted by his dimple.
“Have I ever told you that I am obsessed with that dimple on your left cheek?”
“That is very cute, but my dimple isn’t what we were talking about.”
“I…”
“You what” he says, lifting my chin a bit more, forcing me to look him in the eyes. This time I can’t escape, I can’t stop looking at them. Since when does he have such beautiful eyes?
“I love you, Mason.”
“Finally” he smiles, leaning forward and kissing me while the sun sets behind us.
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dumbbitchfrommars · 3 months ago
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Hello. I may have just broken the heart of someone I love and care about, but it had to be done.
I know better now. I won’t hurt my friends because I’m confused about my own feelings…
Ugh. Anyway. Now there’s space for new in my life. Like a capricorn man that rides a motorbike. Take me for a ride sometime, maybe?
Anyway. My brain is drained from this day. It’s crazy that I’ve suddenly found myself with a friend I can call when I need to and not feel awkward about it. And that we went overseas together and our friendship survived it. And also , I have other friends like that for me ?
Like… god heard my prayers and gave me what I’ve been asking for. And all I had to do was cut off the old ones, the ones that were festering and ruining me bit by bit the longer I held onto hope. My greatest blessing was taking people at their face value. I won’t continue to make the same mistakes about toxic people. I’ve learnt my lessons and know what is best and safest for me and my peace of mind, my spiritual and psychic wellbeing. It’s all that matters at the end of the day. And I know how to support the people that love me too, and while it might be different to what I need or am used to, I can do that for them. Because I love them, and they would do the same for me. And they are worth it. They are more than worth my love. My walls and defenses don’t need to stay up anymore. I’m SAFE. I’m good. I’ve got me. They’ve got me. We’re good.
Now the question remains if I see my old Capricorn friend? Or do I leave him behind for new people. Maybe he got into a fight that night. But maybe… he found a girl to take home and ditched me for her. Which would be crazy, cause I looked so fucking cute that night. God I’m silly sometimes I know. I just love romanticising my life. Maybe I should wear that same outfit to my date with the new motorbike Capricorn this weekend. Just to close the cycle. Just to laugh with the universe instead of being laughed at for once. I won’t continue to resist. I love him, just like I love the Taurus, but he’s just not aligned with me anymore. He’s literally posting stories of himself drinking and chugging beers every other day. It’s a PROBLEM. it’s a disease in this country. Lord help us. How am I supposed to go on this date for “dinner and drinks�� and not have a drink? Do I tell him I’m trying to be sober? Maybe I say I’m having a little break from drinking. A little white lie to tie me over until I’m ready to tell him. Or until I know I’m going to be sober for real for real. I am only 23. It’s probably not likely I’m gonna never have another drop of alcohol. I already know I want to while on holiday. But maybe I try to only like once a week? One drink, once a week? Maximum? That seems okay. To be fair I was pretty hungover the day I made this decision. It was a dark feeling. It also isn’t necessary to drink. Esp if I already know I don’t need to or want to. I can have fun without. So it’s mainly just for a social validation/acceptance. So maybe, this week, the only time I’ll have a drink is one while on this date with my new Capricorn biker boy. YUM. love if that works out and I actually like him. High hopes!! Come on god!! Pull through for me. And also let me have some self control to not go back to that man’s house too soon. I’m jumping the gun. Let me think about this when it’s closer to the date. Ok thanks good night. No more overthinking. This is probably the lingering hangover. FUCK ALCOHOL. it’s so dark. It makes me anxious. I need to remember all these things before I just do the same thing and get drunk again next weekend. Be serious for once. Keep your promises. No more binge drinking. My poor parents. They must hate me for this. lol. My addictive personality jumps out again. Still, I think this addiction is a lot better than the weed addiction. Socially. But also mentally. I wasn’t ok back then. What a time. Feels like a lifetime ago. Even my ex. Wow. I still haven’t entirely let him go if I’m looking for another capricorn. But there’s just something about capricorns. Zayn is my dream man. So it’s not just my ex. It’s just… me. My moon sign. My whole life. Saturn. The sexiest planet. My ruling planet. The planet of learning your lessons the hard way. The only way I’ve ever been able to really integrate life lessons.
Ok. Enough now. Good night 💤
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rhazimpulsivelyposts · 4 months ago
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I told myself I was going to do things today, but I never found the energy to get off my couch because I have contractors here and I’m on my period and sleepy but can’t sleep because there are people here.
I can’t wait until everything is done being fixed in the house so I can actually relax instead of sitting on my couch not doing anything but also not relaxed xD
But I’m thankful that he has been here every single day because that means it is getting done . So I don’t mean to complain about it because I love that it’s all getting done I’m just emotionally exhausted having people over every single day. I can’t wait for all the repairs to be done and I can go back to having alone time on the weekends and after work.
It’s funny they say with ADHD chores are better when someone else is in the room but it’s soooo the opposite with me, I can’t get anything done if someone is over because I don’t want them to interrupt what I am doing because I won’t finish. Like if I got up to clean the kitchen and he came into to ask me about anything I would not have the mental energy afterwards to go back to cleaning the kitchen. The momentum is gone. I need to be in such a specific mood to clean and put together furniture that I just haven’t been able to find that mood since I’ve started having people in the house every day. Idk why. It’s like mentally draining when it shouldn’t be? What am I even complaining about? This all feels like an excuse? But I know when people weren’t coming over every day I was super productive and worked on this house every single day after work. It has to be that there are people over that is draining my energy.
But also I’m glad they are fixing all the stuff. Yes please keep fixing all the stuff. Fix all the stuff every day until it’s fixed and I can stop having to think about it and stop having people over every single day. I just have to rough it out more until it’s complete. We have infinite amount of time to clean and put stuff away . It doesn’t need to be today. It’s ok. Laundry has to be today , put the car back in the garage today , maybe fill out our planner for the last two days . That’s all that NEEDS to be done today.
I didn’t fill out my planner Thursday because I came home and was too tired , and the Friday was such a Go Go Go day because I had to make it to a job site before a meeting that went on too long to complete a job that took me to long to complete to move to the next job that took about as long as I expected but was late to , just to rush home because the contractor said he was going to be there soon after I told him I was running late , so I was tired and didn’t fill out my planner . And now today I have been rotting on my couch staring at my phone for hours instead of filling out my planner or doing anything even remotely productive . I hate days that I do nothing and feel guilty about not doing anything. Why do I even feel guilty? Who is going to hold me accountable for not cleaning the kitchen? Me? Yes it is me and that’s why I feel guilty 😤🤣 what is relaxing, I have no clue.
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daydreambts · 2 years ago
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I giggle at your comment. “Ok… I won’t say no to you pampering me… you can cook me dinner next time ok?” I say as I gently peck your lips. I nod feeling jealous of any girls who ever touched you before me. I bite my lip as I listen to you. “Yeah I guess it’s hard to know who’s there for you and who’s there for your fame…” i say hating the thought of anyone taking advantage of you just because your famous. “You think so ? You think we really could make this something ?” I ask still planing with the hair at the back of your neck. “I think your probably the most amazing person I know… your kind .. and caring. You listen to me… I mean I think I’m just not used to it.” I smile a little at you. “Maybe once the divorce is finalised and I’m free… I was only thinking I mean we don’t have to but … I was thinking maybe we could go somewhere ? Just the two of us ? What do you think ? “ I ask raising a brow. “I mean I know your schedule is busy and you maybe you don’t have a lot of time but even just a weekend?” I was committed to this. To us. To making it work. - Amy rose anon 🌹
•━»•»🌸«•«━━━━━━━━•••
"Good." Jungkook smiled against your lips, his mind already racing excitedly, thinking that he should ask his friends for recipes. "Yeah... I mean, I love doing this work, so I've accepted this as a consequence... That's why meeting you is even more special." He listened to your idea, his face lighting up as you went on. "I think it's a fantastic idea. We definitely have to do it," he stressed, grinning at you. "I was already thinking of taking a longer break than usual after this album anyway. A proper break, with me actually taking a vacation instead of thinking and planning for the next release." He drew you closer to him, his hand sneaking to squeeze your thigh. "I was thinking of spending it staying in with you, but the two of us going on a trip is even better." He was really glad that you suggested it, he knew it meant you were getting ready to move forward with him.
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